#and by funny I mean yes please iconic

[madzillus]

When The Doctor said mavity let me tell you I LOST IT

[pnutsdotorg]

is this anything.

[lazycats-stuff]

Remember when u wrote batbro who's Australian? Now u HAVE TO do Italian! This time with Italian toddler batbro, please little Italian people with their small hand gestures are so funny and so fricking adorable to me I'm tearing up just thinking about it

Yeah, Italians are funny and adorable, but I think it would work better if it's a teen instead of a toddler, so I have to modify that part, I just think it would fit better. Also, 1.3k, thank you guys and yes, I know this is a little bit short, but I do want to get this out for you guys. Also, Italians are my neighboring country lol, so if any Italians are reading this, hi!

Summary: (Y/N) is Italian. The family can't deal with him.

Warnings:

Bruce, yet again, found out he had another biological child. Another son. Bruce loved his sons, but he could get a daughter for once. Someone who was less chaotic to a certain degree. Turns out, when Bruce had a one night stand with an Italian model, she got pregnant and she didn't say anything to Bruce about his son for 13 years.

Bruce found out when she was put in jail. Bruce didn't know what happened, but he was more numb from the news that he has another son. Not to mention, man with a heavy Italian accent calling him in the middle of the night telling him about his son and Bruce having to call his lawyers...

The amount of paperwork that it took for Bruce to bring (Y/N) to America is nuts. Sure, you have to make sure that both governments know where the child is. The amount of connections Bruce had to pull just to get (Y/N) to the USA is actually insane. Thankfully, (Y/N) would soon get his citizenship and he would be able to keep his Italian citizenship.

Thankfully, both the US and Italy allow people to have multiple citizenships so (Y/N) could go back to Italy without any problems. Bruce and the others need to get visas. (Y/N) laughed at them when he heard that.

But hey, when they go to Italy, they will have a translator. And it's incredible to listen to (Y/N) not knowing English really. They weren't mocking him by any means, but they were crying of laughter a few times when there was some English problems.

But there were another things they didn't know about Italians. For example, (Y/N) was touchy in conversations. And he was closer to them, more in their space. None of them minded them, it was actually nice how closer he was to them because Americans prefer to keep their distance it seems.

And a thing that seemed like are they European or gay thing is the fact they have their little pecks on the cheek. It wasn't anything intimate by any means and it's a way to say hi to guests. Men do it as well so it wasn't gay per say... But then again... Bruce knew that Italy had a different way than Americans.

And by God, (Y/N) had so many cultural shocks. So many. The sizes of food in America... And (Y/N) will forever fight the notion that pineapple belongs on the pizza. He shall defend his Italian heritage and cuisine.

Also, while on the topic of the sizes, everything in America is huge. Cars, buildings... (Y/N) thought that in a way it lacked warmth. And (Y/N) didn't even want to think about the prices of medication and healthcare here. He knows that Bruce is rich, but still... My God.

Another thing was the fact that kind of annoyed Bruce and Alfred was the amount of espressos that (Y/N) can drink in a day. Tim loved him a lot for it, but Bruce and Alfred weren't so happy. So many espressos wasn't really helpful. But hey.

But one iconic thing that can make you tell who is an actual Italian or not, is the famous hand gesture. They still remember the time when (Y/N) was talking on the phone with a family member who lives in Italy and it seemed that the entire family was on the other side of the phone.

He was talking fast, phone on his ear while he was going to the kitchen to drink some water and get some snacks. They all watched in silence as (Y/N) talked loudly, even as he was opening the fridge for some snacks.

And that's when they saw it. The famous hand gesture, in between some passionate talk about something and yelling over the phone. He seemed annoyed, but there was a smile on the teen's face as he was talking.

Once he was finished, he joined his family at the table. Jason has decided to learn Italian. Bruce has silently agreed. Damian was already prepared to learn. Basically, the entire family has decided to learn Italian and help (Y/N) with English in return.

Another thing that made adapting to the American culture more difficult was the fact that talking and kind of interrupt one you are talking too. In Italy, that is not really considered rude since they are passionate about talking and just overall talking over.

In America, that is considered rude. He didn't like it that much, but understood. People won't like him that much and he would be considered a rude person if he interrupts other people. His family understood that it's not easy, but hey. You adapt to the culture and move on.

But still, it hurt a little bit.

And (Y/N) never understood one thing as well. Something called Italian Americans. He couldn't comprehend calling yourself Italian American, but you don't speak Italian and you are not connected to the culture of your other part. It was weird to him. No hate towards them, but to him it was weird. How can you call yourself a person who belongs to a certain culture if you don't know it?

But hey, no hate. As long as they don't insult Italy and the Italian culture, no hate.

And one more thing that no one prepares you for is the fact that you miss your home country. Despite Alfred doing the best Italian dishes known to men, but it just didn't taste the same. It didn't have that taste of Italy. Yes, it sounds weird, but it's true. Italy is one hell of a country with a rich history.

Oh the nostalgia is a worst feeling ever. Sure, it makes you feel happy and remember the great times you had., but sad at the same time. Bruce saw it, he wasn't blind.

He was sad for his son. So what does Bruce do? Summer holidays are approaching and Bruce had one great idea for everyone. 2 weeks in Italy, all paid for. He just needed to tell (Y/N) when and where they will be going.

And Bruce told him a few moments later, (Y/N) screamed from happiness and jumped into Bruce's arms, hugging him like a koala bear.

" Grazie Bruce! " (Y/N) screamed. Bruce didn't mind the use of his first name because (Y/N) was still getting used to the fact that he has a dad.

" Ti amo Bruce. " (Y/N) said as he stood back down at the floor. Bruce smile widely as he knew exactly what first two words meant.

" Love you too son. "

(Y/N) let out a woo as he went back to his room. Oh he will stuff himself with all of the Italian food he can eat and find. And he will go to Rome and the Vatican. No one is going to stop him. And not to mention, he will have to visit his family. They would never forgive him by any means and you don't want to piss off an Italian family.

[gavisfanta]

PARIS - PEDRI

summary: youre pedris gf and are traveling with him for the psg game

a/n: im sorry but these are so fun to make 😭

@yourinsta

i was reading on the plane, second pic is what I was reading, third pic is me sleeping (no clickbait)

liked by pedri, menshealth and 1,729,542 others.

pedri: ...

random: LMAOOOOO NOT PEDRI

menshealth: best book on the planet 💪💪💪

random: is she traveling with barca to paris?

random: ig so

random: this is so mean actually

random: cry about it

random: frrrr

-

@yourinsta

@mikkykiemeney (my love) and me enjoying our love in the city of love, dont know who the third guy is, he randomly photo bombed us

liked by pedri, mikkykiemeney and 2,668,018 others.

pedri: babe.... stop these photos.....

random: LMAOOOO

random: why are they in paris?

random: love the duoooo 🫶🏻🫶🏻

random: PUTA BARCA

mikkykiemeny: Mi amor ❤️❤️❤️❤️

pablogavi: that guy on the third pic be looking hot who is that

random: lets gooo we're gonna beat psg

random: PEDRI IS SO FINEEE

feeeeeeeerrrrrrr: you cut me out of the picture😞😞😞

random: LETS COOK DEMBELE

fcbarcelona: always with us 🫶🏻❤️

raphinha: i think the guy on the third picture is the pilot of the plane

random: why is she so mean

random: i love you for doing Pedri dirty

frenkiedejong: our women got stolen

pedri: justice for us

-

@yourinsta

knew that paris copied us

liked by pedri, jkeey4 and 2,183,017 othes.

pedri: 😍😍😍

random: so prettyyyy

siramartinezc: welcome home 😁😁

random: LMAOOOOO WHAT

random: Why she so funny

@yourinsta

VAMOSSSS

liked by pedri, mikkykiemeney and 1,991,772 others.

comments have been limited...

-

@yourinsta

pov: you just gave the most jaw dropping assist but you gotta play it off cool

liked by pedri, fcbarcelona and 1,629,991 others.

random: Hala Madrid

pedri: ❤️❤️

frenkiedejong: hey thats me!!

fcbarcelona: Our magicians 🎩 🫶🏻

mikkykiemeney: our one night stands😝😝

yourinsta: frrrr

pedri: babe seriously.

frenkiedejong: hey....

random: the pic of pedri lmaoo

random: Psg easy winn barca no chance

random: we finally have them back

random: Pedri is so fineeeeee

pablogavi: When do i get my appreciation post????

yourinsta: as soon as you play, promise

pablogavi: easy game

-

@yourinsta

and my man, thank you to my man 😘❤️

liked by pedri, mikkykiemeney and 2,729,681 others.

pedri: de nada amor ❤️

random: AAAA

random: the flowers. im dying.

random: im actually so jealous.

pablogavi: fine i mean i can be your passanger princess too

random: actually that car is so cool

random: how to sign up to be pedris girlfriend

random: REALLL

random:

ferrantorres: and again i get no credit for heloing him with the flowers

pedri: cr to ferran

yourinsta: ferran you only think about yourself

pedri: yes ferran think about others too

ferrantorres: what....

pedri: you egoistic.

yourinsta: HAHAHAH

random: shes allowed to drive his car.... 😞

-

@yourinsta

hot girls support red bull, anyways MAX FOR THE WIN. HE HAS DONE IT AGAIN.

liked by pedri, maxverstappen1 and 2,829,729 others.

random: why she just spawning everywhere

random: whats max doing here

random: YESSS MAX THE GOATT

pedri: hot guys get forced to support red bull because of their girlfriends

random: LOOOL WHAT

random: Shes so iconic

random: Ferrari deserved the podium

random: not our fault if they cant build cars

random: ateee

random: lewis for the win

-

@yourinsta

car appreciation post (plus the man driving it)

liked by pedri, mikkykiemeney and 982,829 others.

pedri: ❤️❤️

yourinsta: dry ass comment

pablogavi: damn

pedri: my bad, i love you my wonderful girlfriend the love of my life please marry me in that car

yourinsta: okay!! 😁😁🥰🥰❤️❤️

random: i want pedri as a boyfriend

random: awww the flowers

random: I would do anything to have a car like that

pablogavi: always flexing that damn car

yourinsta: gotta do what you gotta do 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

random: PEDRI IN A SUIT?

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I don't think non-New Yorkers know how funny Miles and Wiles having Jordans is.

Like it's REALLY funny and really Brooklyn - New York of him.

Miles, Wiles, and Jordan Sneakers - Clever Cultural Characterisation

[A MEDIUM length post were I talk about Brooklyn Sneaker Culture and it's use in ATSV]

Have you ever wondered -

Why is Miles the only one wearing branded clothing?

When all other brands are either spoofed or replaced, why is Miles - the main character wearing such VERY BLATANTLY branded sneakers?

And why is Nike, a random shoe brand, the choice to go with?

There's a reason the creators show Miles' creativity and personality through his shoes.

And it's because

JORDANS HAVE A CHOKEHOLD - on Black Guys in High School from NYC

And this might be bizarre to some and idk if it translates to other black communities- (please tell me if it does)

But here in Brooklyn, almost every masc guy in my high school was OBSESSED with Jordans. Most guys I knew can name certain releases by looking at them, and had multiple pairs in different colors

JORDANS WERE LIKE SOCIAL CURRENCY - from middle school all the way to college. And it's a very cultural thing here in Brooklyn.

What colors you had and how many are something you bragged about. Many guys own multiple different colorways of Jordan's and will WAIT in line hours for a new release.

There's a store call Flight Club here in the city, and sometimes you'll see the line going out the door, of well dressed black guys waiting for the new release of Nikes to start going on sale.

Of course Adidas is popular, but no where near the culture hold as Nike to us.

I remember begging my parents for like a week until they brought me Black Air Force 1s

And I STILL have them over ten years later. They're too small, but they're holding up well. And even until this day, my home town is lined with sneaker stores. There's one around the corner from me rn.

Here it really is natural for guys LOVE JORDANS and to use them as a form of self expression. It's not odd for Fashion is on the minds of black guys in Brooklyn.

Even in high school, guys were matching their outfits and always trying to get the latest brand name. Mind you, this is an inner-city school full of 98% low income black kids. For us that was a social language.

Some shoes even have their own 'personalities' tied to them:

For example:

Black Air Force 1s (the one above) are often called 'hit a lick' shoes. Hitting a lick means to rob someone. So there's this idea that if you have those on you about that action lol it's an chill inside joke though it isn't serious.

White Air Forces are seen for guys who DON'T do that because they're too worried about getting their white ass shoes so clean.

Keep the above in mind for the next part

Hair cuts - like shape-ups and fades, Backpacks, and Shoes are three big things that were a fashion influence in my high school HARD.

Trends also are a big thing here, and they come on really quickly. I remember for maybe four years a brand called Sprayground got big, and after all SO many high school kids started collecting these $80 bags in all different colors. I wanted one so bad.

A lot of them had illustrations of things like money or weed.

If you see a mfer with the shark mouth bookbag RUN he's the biggest fuckboy you've ever met.

Which is to say - !42 WOULD HAVE ONE OF THESE BAGS

Guys get SO INTO THEM

How many of the iconic orange boxes that you lined up in your room (yes they keep them) was something you boasted about.

MFers would deadass have this in the corner of their room and bring you over talking about sum 'it's decor' SIR IT'S A HOARDING ADDICTION

They'll walk different, and NEVER squat, because doing that might crease the leather along the toe box. And creased Jordans are not fresh so what's the point - they're ruined. A guy in my class use to being plastic bags and tie them around his ankles when it rained then he walked home.

Like look at this Reddit post I found -

'is he stupid' 😭😭that's so mean but like here EVERY guy just assumes you know not to do that to Jordans ever

And that's why the creators do it - AND THEY DO IT WELL

And it's so impressive their deep understanding of this very specific thing that happens in mostly black high schools in NYC.

Cause that's not something you can just search up and research really.

Because of our culture - Miles & Miles!42's shoes are a silent language in their own right.

Like Miles!42's shoes are one of the first things we see about him.

They're the first thing we're suppose to notice - because it let's is compare him to Miles.

Miles' Jordans are iconic - the white and red shoes.

They're clean and white, with pops of color and personality. Like Miles, he's about being the good of Spider-man, while also getting himself and adding his own colors to it.

And because it's natural to the character and the culture, they let his shoes be the signal that Wiles is not like Miles. He has a different style, in fighting, in speaking, in personality, from his hair literally down to his shoes.

REMEMBER HOW I TALKED ABOUT SHOES HAVING PERSONALITY AND THE BLACK AIR FORCES ??????

Wiles' shoes are VERY similar to Black Air Force 1s. It's basically that with utility bags and purple detailing.

That's a signal - like I said: WILES IS ABOUT THAT ACTION. He's here to get his lick back.

From his standpoint, as a black guy from Brooklyn with his personality, he would know about this culture. He'd know the message black Nikes send where he's from.

It'd be natural for him - Hell yeah he'd go for the black Jordans.

He's speaking his social language.

Wiles' doesn't have to say 'fuck around and find out' he got on Air Forces with bags on them - HE'S ABOUT IT.

The writers didn't wake up one day and say 'Oh Nike wants a brand deal?! Okay cool'.

They don't show Wiles' shoes to be like 'LOOKY BUY THE NICE SHOES' - We are shown this shot

For them to be like : This is who Miles!42 is.

Because of sneakers.

Isn't that COOL? ISN'T IT. ISN'T IT COOL THE SOCIAL DYNAMICS OF INNER CITY BLACK KIDS IN NEW YORK??

But it's really funny to me to see Wiles shoes and be like 'damn he bout to fuck Miles up'.

THE IDEA OF THEM FEIGNING OVER JORDANS Fyyofydyogoc

Do guys where you are do this?? Like is this a thing y'all know any Sneakerheads.

Anyway I would put a pic of Hobie but I'm on mobile so they won't let me and I'm lazy

Bye.

[zhongrin]

yk i just noticed how i took that pic on such a perfect timing bc neuv looks like he's eyeing zhongli's icon on the top like

"hm. that man. no. that dragon. there's something about him... *squints* 🤔"

some nonsensical ramblings utc

this makes me think. would neuvillette be able to recognize zhongli as the ex geo archon in the first place? i mean i'm pretty sure neuv will know immediately that zl is a fellow dragon, but technically zhongli doesn't have the gnosis anymore so??? and if my crack theory is right and zl is secretly the geo dragon sovereign then wouldn't neuv default to being sympathizing bc he knows how it feels like running at half the power? wouldn't that be so funny hauhasjdhjasd

and like. how would neuv 'judge' him in this case? fellow brethren he thought he must avenge turned out to be the 'usurper' he must put on trial - except he's not really a usurper he's just a silly man playing 5d chess. and yes he definitely has blood on his hand but then you could also say he was just trying to get his power back from being stolen by hp in the archon war? ogh. honestly, that would be suuuuuch a fun topic to explore….. hyv please. hyv take my big brain theory and make it canon i beg- /silly

[coffeedepressionsoup]

Somebody Does Love | MYG - She Thinks She Falls First

Pairing - Yoongi x F!reader

Summary - "What is grief, if not love persevering?" Two people are in love but that is not enough because sometimes loving requires courage.

This is the one where she explores her very mild crush on him. Part 5 of Somebody Does Love.

Series Masterlist

Genre - fluff, strangers to lovers, eventual smut and angst

Word count - 4k+

Warnings - lil swearing, drinking, Yoongi’s fluffy hair, Yoongi’s hands

Ratings - 13+

Taglist: @majiiisstuff @starlighttaek8 @yoongrace @proudnoona @7ndipity

A/N - I start working a 10-hour shift in less than two hours and I have not slept a wink. This has been sitting in drafts for way too long and I have no idea why I was resolute to finish it today. It might seem a bit all over the place, but hey, welcome to my head, I live like this.

The word count is definitely not my way of overcompensating for the prolonged absence. Partially proofread. The chapter naming has been lame. I know. But it is what it is. Also here is the closest thing I found on the internet to the Woolfie + Ash dynamic I am imagining. And the Yoongi in my mind as I was writing this, in case you are wondering.

I am using my last two brain cells to upload this. Please like, comment, and reblog to share your thoughts and feedback. DM me if you want to be added to/removed from the tag list. This delirious fever dream is now yours to deal with. Enjoy!

“I mean it’s the cutest smirk ever and I know “smirks a lot” does not paint an endearing picture, but like- what he has mostly is not a smile, but you know he is having a good time. Like he’s too lazy to have a full grin and the best he can do is pull up his lips slightly and-”

----------------------------------------------------------

“I still don’t understand what you mean by a memorable smirk. Why are you bothered at all by someone’s smirk?”

“This is borderline creepy now. Why-”

“Are you not listening? He’s just cute and I cannot forget about his smile.”

“Well, isn’t he too lazy to-”

“UGH!! You know what I mean.”

“Yeah, you have it bad.”

“I don’t have anything. And it’s not bad…”

“But?”

“He’s cute. Funny. Attentive. And nice hands.”

“Really?” In their almost half an hour conversation, it’s the first genuine curiosity Samairah has shown about your supposed crush.

You now had a triumphant smirk yourself and nodded, “Yes, very nice hands.”

“You do realise that you can yourself ask him out?” Samairah quirked her brows, her tone reminding you of a disappointed tutor.

“I know! But bro! He’s really good friends with Sammy and they work closely and it can get so messy.”

It has been 10 days since you walked in on Sammy and Yoongi in the middle of a songwriting session at almost midnight. 10 days since you knew for sure that Yoongi’s hair felt softer than it already looked. 10 days since your first -

“Sure it can. But it can go well too especially since he seems interested as well,” Samairah said after gulping down the rest of her banana oat smoothie.

You could not help but bark out a disbelieving laughter, “Yeah right..”

“What?”

“He seems interested, you said.”

“Yeah and?”

“That doesn’t seem likely.”

“Why?”

Because he is an international icon and probably the hottest rapper-producer on planet Earth and you were whoever you are. But you did not want to tell her that. In fact, all Samairah knew about your “crush” was that you met him at a house party and he is close with one of your best friends. Not that you wanted to lie or actively hide anything from her. She had not asked for a name when you had not given one. And she did not mind that. She knew you would have your reasons and will tell her if and when you want to. Your friendship was comfortable like that.

All you said out loud was, “Because he does not seem interested. You are just saying shit because you want me to ask him out.”

“And that would be a bad motivator why exactly?” Before you could fully roll your eyes at the rhetorical question, she started listing out in a matter-of-fact tone, overstating her points by holding up a finger with each of them, “You are clearly infatuated with him. Also, to be quite honest everything you told me up until now screams like the first few chapters of an idiot-to-lovers trope story.”

“Fucking hell! Hold your horses Mari. What lovers? We haven’t even gone on a single date yet.”

“He made japchae the exact way you like it, the very next day that you talked about it, which was apparently also the day you first met!” Samairah’s exasperated tone shut you up. It did strike you as odd when that happened. But you remember feeling more endeared and way too many butterflies in your gut at his presence to register and/or question the legitimacy of his “made too much” excuse at the time.

“And he’s dropping by willy-nilly wherever you are at.”

No, I mean, he had very valid reasons all of those times. Right?

Right.

Even at the vet’s appointment for Ash earlier that week.

He could not possibly have waited a couple more days till you were all supposed to meet at Aera’s place to return the portable charger he borrowed. You might need it on your daily commute and if anything, nobody should be trapped in Seoul traffic with a dead phone. What would you stare at? The people in the car window next to you? The ones hanging off the same supporting rail as you on the train? No, Yoongi had been considerate.

Sammy had turned up at Genius Lab aka Yoongi’s studio and they played around with the chorus of the song they were working on one afternoon. Once they were satisfied with a structure, Sammy politely turned down Namjoon’s offer for a drink (which caught Yoongi’s attention because when has any of his friends ever declined a drink) on his way out, saying he had to drive Y/N and Ash to the vet since you don’t feel comfortable driving on Seoul roads yet, despite carrying a valid International Driver's Permit.

The mention of your name drove Yoongi quieter and turned his ears and cheeks red at an alarming speed. Did the boys notice? Yes. Did Yoongi catch them exchanging a knowing smirk following that? No. Did he ask for details of the vet clinic and the time of appointment? Yes. Did he say out loud that he is free to drive Y/N, in fact, he would gladly volunteer? No. Did Sammy update an innocuous group chat with Yoongi’s ‘being in the neighbourhood and deciding impulsively to give the power bank back’ appearance later that evening? Yes. Did anyone buy that excuse? No.

Not even you. Not when he sputtered it out initially. Not when he took off his mask momentarily in an almost empty reception to shower Ash with a bunch of kisses. Not even when a pang of unspecified recognition hit you. You did not believe him.

Just Sunday night, that is tonight, Aera had invited all her close friends for a housewarming party. You first met her a couple of years ago through Dojoon. She was a doctor. And Dojoon’s friend. With some benefits. There are times when their friends swear they are dating. Then there are times when they know not to speak of each other in front of them. The fact that Aera’s new apartment is directly across from the hall from Dojoon’s is officially supposed to be coincidental. She apparently realised after she finalised with the agent that she was standing in a familiar hallway. And yeah, every one of you decided to believe it, of course.

So yeah, the charger return could have waited but you decided to believe it was because Yoongi did promise to return it ASAP and that particular Wednesday evening was it. He was a man of his word. He had flown away for a short work trip to Osaka for two days. His phone was almost out of charge. He had to drive directly to the airport. In fact, Soojin was waiting for him, with all his essentials on standby. You, however, figured he would not have time to get his charger. So you voluntarily offered your portable one to him.

He could just use the direct charger in his car. But you did not think of it at the moment. And Yoongi did not remind you of it. He took the one you offered. Used it on his way to the airport, through his stay in Osaka and charged it back up once he returned, carrying it around in his jacket with his wallet and keys.

Now, as to why would you be with him when his phone was almost dying and he was about to fly out of the country? It’s because Yoongi was at Sammy’s place, trying to write a song. Pleasantly buzzed on beer and completely engrossed in the task. And you were, as of the last discussion on the matter, Sammy’s housemate. Yes, plans changed since you first arrived in the city, and you would say for the better. Living with Sammy was not as chaotic as you anticipated and once you saw Ash and Woolfie bonding, you did not have the heart to separate them or yourself away from the duo. And the “people always coming over to Sammy’s and not having the bandwidth to deal with it” was not a particular problem at the moment.

You had grown quite fond of the most frequent visitor.

The first night you walked in to unexpectedly find Yoongi at Sammy’s place, you remember the knots building up in your stomach. You had not yet acknowledged your evident crush on him. You would think the older people got, the easier it was to deal with all this. Bullshit.

It did not help that soon after Sammy left to walk Woolfie. You tried to keep your tone and conversation as neutral as possible. And you would like to believe you succeeded. Once you managed to convince him to stay for dinner (to be honest, all you had to do was ask once), you excused yourself to go wash up. You squealed into your damp towel as you found yourself carefully styling your hair to appear as carelessly proper as possible.

Your squeal had not reached Yoongi several rooms away but it had managed to wake your fur baby up from her nap. She yawned, stretched, itched the back of her ears with her paws and marched out of your room alongside you to greet the man. The greeting she extended was calculated for the first couple of minutes, as she went around sniffing and staring at him from different angles around his feet. Soon she decided to lick her stamp of approval on his nose once she allowed him to pick her up. Since then she remained on his lap, by his feet or on his shoulder, till the time he left.

The conversation, guided by Ash’s heartwarming existence, revolved comfortably around pets. He asked about your childhood pets and told you about his. He also proudly spoke about the different personalities of Tony and Scar, his two rescue cats. Once you asked to see pictures, you were allowed to surf through two whole albums with hundreds of photos of the cats as well as Holly, the famed cockapoodle.

You caught yourself staring at him a few times that night, making you the second person to do so. You stared at his bright, warm eyes that had a certain glimmer that you could not define. Sometimes you stared at the way he threw back his head in laughter and the bobble of his Adam’s apple. Oh, his laughter! The sound of it! The look of it! You noticed it more than you did the previous night. The lines it created around his mouth and his eyes, you wanted to trace them lightly with your fingers and later intertwine them with his slender ones. Not just his fingers though, you noticed the way his forearm would subtly flex every time he pushed his hair back in the middle of conversation. And his fucking hair.

It is the softest head of hair you have ever seen, you could swear. You thought it was difficult not to actually reach out and feel it on the first night he came over. That was until the second time. You were sitting much closer together at that time. You were much more drunk than the two beers you had with dinner the last time. You also had much more daydreaming under your belt about the man sitting beside you. If you had not chickened out at the last minute, you wondered if you could thread your fingers in his hair to hold him closer in a kiss. You wondered the same at different times on different days till 10 days back.

You were pretty drunk from the departmental dinner with your colleagues. Samairah had been on driving duty that evening and pretty sober. She offered to walk you to the elevators of the building when she came to drop you off but you promised you could manage by yourself. And you did. But the walls along the way were integral to your vertical stability.

In half a mind to ring the bell instead of punching the code in, you leaned against the doorframe for a few moments. Composing yourself a bit, you let yourself in, steady enough to walk straight, away from walls.

As you walked towards the hall area, you heard guitar strumming and distinct humming voices. Voice-s. Multiple. Two, to be precise. And you need not be alarmed. The second voice could be anybody. Except it wasn’t. You recognised Yoongi’s deep, now slightly raspy voice over Sammy’s. Before you turned from the narrow entryway to the room, you could feel your heartbeat rise and your hands started feeling clammy.

The boys did not notice you come in.

As Sammy lightly hummed a melody and typed into the laptop in front of him, Yoongi kept playing a distinct hook on what you recognised as one of Sammy’s guitars.

“Do you see what I mean-” Yoongi asked and paused before changing to a different set of chords, this one more mellow than before. With the change, you noticed his tongue slightly poke out the side of his mouth, set in deep concentration.

Sammy took a sip out of an opened can of beer lying on the floor between them. Who knows which is whose anymore? He nodded looking down at his phone, and started singing some words out with the tune he was humming before.

Yoongi let out a non-verbal sound you could best define as a soft groan of approval as you saw him changing the chords to match the tune Sammy was singing.

You probably would have stood there till either of the two turned to see you. But your phone pinged with a notification alert and although it wasn’t too loud, it stood out enough for both Yoongi and Sammy to pivot from their places on the ground near the sofa.

Feeling conscious of the newly gained attention of the whole room, you tried to laugh off the cocktail of nervous surprise and drunken flush. “Hi,” you waved a little.

Sammy patted the spot next to him, sipping on one of the open beers again, “Come listen to this,” and started humming again.

You walked over as steadily and casually as possible and when you sat down, you could hear a soft “hi” escape Yoongi’s slightly parted lips. You smiled at him and could see a smile threatening to break out on his face as well, which appeared when you said, “You’re red,” and immediately bit your lips because ‘Wow were you drunk.’

Yoongi tried his best to explain that it was just the alcohol and that it was uncharacteristically hot tonight. You nodded and decided to honour his failing defence once your eyes met. But you also felt like you could see through him at the time. You could seemingly read a similar pining and nervousness within him that you felt. But you tried convincing yourself that half of it was spirit-induced delusions.

“Is this a new song?” you leant over to see the laptop screen which Sammy turned slightly for your ease and nodded.

“Genius here wrote this under 10 minutes,” he gestured towards the accused.

Yoongi felt “redder” but it physically was not possible. His sense of embarrassment, however, was graver than before. “Fuck no, I just came up with some beats. Sammy filled these in,” he protested and leaned over to trace over the mixer timeline on the laptop.

To do that though, he had to lean over you. Partly. And when he did, there was a pregnant pause in the room.

Yoongi stilled the moment he could feel your breath fanning his ear. You froze when you caught a whiff of his… shampoo? Cologne? Aftershave? All of it? You were not a perfumer by any means, but if your olfactory senses served you right, you are pretty sure that is the best smell any human being has ever exuded. Contrarians could argue with the wall.

Sammy was not unmoving but he chose to remain quiet with a wide grin on his face.

Yoongi withdrew after a millenium-long two-second pause and cleared his throat.

You followed suit and said, “It sounds good regardless. Fresh,” to neither of the boys in particular. All your drunken slur had vanished in a whiff of what you decided your favourite smell was going to be henceforth.

Later in the night, once you freshened up and made coffee for everyone, and the guitar and laptop were put away, you all ended up talking about life, love and well, love life.

Sammy believed in the possibility of love at first sight, as did Yoongi. “Yeah, I think it is quite romantic. I don’t think it happens to many people or as often as people claim. But I believe it is a reality for some people.”

After taking in the silent nods across the room, he tipped his slightly towards you, and asked, “What about you?”

“Oh I don’t believe it exists,” you said after a small sip of your flat white.

“Love at first sight?”

“Yeah”

“Doesn’t exist?”

“I cannot imagine it does, no,” you chuckled out this time at Yoongi’s apparent disbelief.

Yoongi nodded slowly, with a smile of his own accompanied by a slight scowl.

Sammy, having chugged his hazelnut cold coffee, was now lying on the couch, half asleep. He nudged Yoongi’s back lightly with his knee, and said, “Ask her why.”

“Go the fuck off to slee-”

“Why?”

You cursed out and Yoongi asked sincerely at the same moment. Your eyes met.

You swore you could get lost in them, stare at them forever. Memorise every line and freckle.

“I don’t think it’s practical.”

“Love is wild, subjective. It does not need to be practical or rational.”

“There’s a semblance of cause for the effect that we experience as love. They are adorable,” you pointed to Wooflie and Ash locked in a defensive face-off mid-zoomies on the other side of the room. You then moved to point at the guitar and the laptop, “This brings you joy.”

Yoongi’s eyebrows pulled together in a scowl. You had concluded by now that was indicative of his increased attention level. You continued, “We know they are likely to leave us behind one day and you know making music and putting it out there is tough, challenging but you love these anyway. I think we choose to love something or someone despite a lot of shortcomings or adversities. Not because they behave in a manner or look a certain way. And I believe you need more than a sight for that to happen.”

You drew in a deep breath and looked away. You had held his gaze for too long than is comfortable for him, you thought. And then you rambled on about love. It sounded so annoying and pretentious when you thought back. You were certain that you had sabotaged any budding chance for romance you had by dissing on something as romantic as love at first sight.

All that was conjecture, of course, but you would not find out about that until much later.

Yoongi’s scowl remained as it was when he said, “That is so romantic.”

Before you could reply, Sammy quipped in. “That she is.”

It made Yoongi smile and you huff lightly in mock disbelief. The conversation was then interrupted by you being tackled down by Woolfie. Unbeknownst to you, the zoomies area of dispatch had shifted to where you were sitting.

You laughed as you pet the husky back when he licked your face and play-growled at Ash to join in. The cat, however, refused to get on the floor as if it was lava. She marched promptly from one of the armrests on the sofa, to a cushion near Sammy’s head. She then gently kneaded into the cushion, occasionally sniffing and biting into it.

One moment of bliss but soon chaos erupted.

The cushion burst open in the room, spilling the contents within the room and onto Sammy and Yoongi, who were closer to the scene of the crime.

Either spooked by the loud noise or to escape admonishment, the kitten responsible for the mishap had darted back to the other end of the room. Woolfy followed suit.

You looked at Sammy, who had miraculously fallen asleep in the few seconds since his cocky quip, evident from the soft snores, and then locked eyes with Yoongi once more.

By his episodic blinking and alert posture, you could tell he was startled. Once he met your eyes though, both of you fell into a giggle as you took in the situation and saw the cotton all over, especially on him.

He managed to dust off most of it, collecting it all and intentionally dropping and arranging it over Sammy’s unfazed body. You laughed louder seeing the juvenile prank unfold, but quickly covered your face to muffle it lest you wake your friend up.

Once you managed to gather your composure, you saw a cotton ‘snowman’ over Sammy’s torso and the likeness of a Santa beard over his face. As all true friends should, the two of you were quick to pull out your phone and click a respectable couple of images before turning to look at each other again.

With every time your eyes met, you felt like you could understand more of what they said. This time around, it was something like, “I am glad I have this moment with you.” You fiercely agreed with the thought, internally, of course. It was not all conjecture. But you did not know yet.

You looked around and realised the mess once again. Sooner or later you had to clean it up. The easiest place to begin was the cups. You picked up two and on cue, Yoongi grabbed the third as you filed towards the kitchen.

He caught up to you in two strides and at the sink, grabbed for the washpad first. At your silent protests of a frown and attempt to grab the item back, “Please, I got this.”

It was soft. Short. Sure. Sweet?!

You were about to sigh and step back when your eyes went to his hair. Well, you didn’t mean to ogle at him up close but a couple of balls of lint caught in his dark locks disrupted your plans.

Almost instinctively, you reached out and murmured, “Oh, you have-”

Words got stuck in your throat. You could almost feel the air being kicked out of your system when you felt his soft hair under your fingers. You did not move your hands for a beat. And two.

And on the third, as you pulled the lint out, you could not help, but lightly comb through the side of his head.

Once, for good measure. Twice, for good luck. Cannot have lints clumped wildly on THE Min Yoongi’s hair now of course.

At the second glide of your nails against his head, Yoongi choked in a bubbling moan but shut his eyes to feel it better, to relieve the tingle and just take it all in.

However, the tingle also caused his arms to jerk in a manner that knocked off the cup he was meant to be washing off his hands.

As both of you scrambled to prevent another household item from being destroyed that night, you were caught in another unblinking stare-off with Yoongi. You managed to grab the cup from hitting the floor and Yoongi ended up ‘cupping’ your hands.

The touch. Electrifying. Not just figuratively. You could sense this all over. And it was just his palms over the back of your hands.

Despite them being wet, his hands were quite warm. Immediately then you decided what your favourite hand warmer was.

Your heart rate picked up at an alarming rate though once you felt one of his thumbs rub a small spot over your hands.

Your gaze, still unmoving. Your breaths, unsteady.

You possibly would have stayed in that staredown, had Yoongi’s phone not vibrated in his pocket, with a call from Soojin, asking him to leave on time for the airport, since earlier today the global rap sensation requested his manager to allow him to drive to the airport himself. Change of pace, more time alone with his thoughts, he thought.

Scurrying out for the airport while touching (almost holding) your hands was not on his bingo card. But there he was.

[icyminghao]

asking seventeen what they would do if you became a cockroach — maknae line ver.

pairing: seventeen (maknae line) x gn!reader genre: idk what this is honestly

inspired by going seventeen ep. 79: going vol. 2 #1

hyung line ver.

MINGHAO

will judge you

thinks its funny when he imagines it actually happening

will tease you a bit before answering

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?”

Minghao looks away from the book he’s reading to narrow his eyes at you. “Where is this coming from?”

“Just answer, Hao!” you whine, taking the book from his hands and setting it down on the coffee table after bookmarking the page he stopped at. Minghao smiles wryly.

“It depends. If you could hold a teacup and drink from it, I’ll keep you. Anything else and you’d be surviving on the streets by yourself, sorry.” Minghao answers in mock seriousness, and you pout.

“You’re so mean. When are you going back to meditating?”

MINGYU

literally cannot fathom the idea of you becoming a cockroach

it’s impossible, yes, but he literally doesn’t want you to become one

practically begs you not to, much to your confusion and amusement

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?” you raise your head from its spot on Mingyu’s shoulder, gauging his reaction.

“Please don’t become a cockroach,” he practically begs, as if it were possible for you to even become one.

“Mingu,” you giggle, rubbing his arm affectionately, “how the hell would I become a cockroach? I was just asking hypothetically.”

“Exactly, you won’t become a cockroach! So please don’t, you know I’m scared of them,” Mingyu whines like he isn’t at least ten times bigger than the little pest he’s talking about.

You smile in endearment. “Okay, baby, I won’t.”

SEOKMIN

he is terrified, to say the least

would rather die than entertain the idea of you actually becoming a cockroach, but is afraid of hurting you with the truth

goes for the next best thing, which is to evade your question 💀

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?” you look up at Seokmin from your resting position on his chest. You feel Seokmin stiffen.

“A… cockroach?” he replies, his voice a pitch higher than usual. You stifle a giggle.

“Yes, Minnie, a cockroach. Will you still let me lie on you like this,” you trace a finger on his chest to mimic a cockroach’s movements, slowly inching your way up to poke his cheek, “let me kiss y-”

Seokmin jolts in fear, letting out a scream. “Baby, you know I can’t stand cockroaches!”

“Even if it’s me?” you tease.

“You know I love you, right?”

SEUNGKWAN

is side-eyeing you for the entire duration of this conversation

he saw this trend on twitter ages ago

would probably turn the question around so you’re telling him what you would do if he became a cockroach instead

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?”

Seungkwan huffs in amusement, looking away from his phone to raise his eyebrows at you. “What would you do if I became a cockroach?”

You purse your lips together, having not expected him to turn the question around. Seungkwan sees you light up suddenly, as you move to sit beside him.

“We could be cockroaches together,” you giggle, “we would start a trend, become cockroach influencers, you’ll be such a icon!”

Seungkwan lets out a breathy chuckle. You’re his partner, all right.

VERNON

he’d literally be so confused bc that’s not possible??

you try to tell him that it’s just a hypothetical situation but he’s stuck questioning the realism of everything

nice try but he’s just way too clueless… better luck next time

“What would you do if I became a cockroach?”

Hansol furrows his brows together at your words, shooting you a very confused look. “Why would you become a cockroach?”

“I meant it hypothetically,” you whine, shaking his left arm. Hansol doesn’t seem convinced.

“How would you hypothetically become a cockroach? That doesn’t make sense, you’re a human.” Hansol raises an eyebrow, not understanding.

You sigh.

CHAN

poor baby probably thinks it’s one of those boyfriend tests

panicks a little before trying to formulate the textbook boyfriend answer (until you reassure him that you’re just being goofy and had no hidden intentions)

sweeps you off your feet with his answer nonetheless

“Chan, what would you do if I became a cockroach?”

Chan’s eyes widen as he scrambles to think on his feet. “Well, um…”

You can practically hear the gears turning in his head as he spirals.

“Chan!” you grab his hand to ground him. “I was asking for fun, silly.”

Chan releases a breath, leaning into you. “Oh.

Well, I’m afraid of cockroaches, but I guess I could try if it was you.”

a/n: i apologise to anyone out there with a phobia of those dreaded creatures (me) but i watched han and jihoon’s interaction in gose and just couldn’t help myself 😭

taglist (send an ask to be added!): @slytherinshua

masterlist

[that-one-xachster]

Megumi x Childhood Bestie!Reader Hcs

I've seen too many of these and needed to write a few heh ive actually never written hcs before so this is my first time 😅 kinda a slow burn?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so first of all you were tsumiki's bestie because I haven't seen a hc like that yet (PLEASE I NEEDA SEE ONE OF THESE-)

and we'll also make fushi's mom besties with your mom

so now you two are besties since you were in diapers

and you were a very grabby baby and Fushiguro's hair is as wild as carpaccios from mashle-

(sorry not sorry)

so you'd just grab at his hair and pull it all the time which would annoy the hell out of him

which would then somehow end up in you two fighting

AS BABIES

and then your mother's would have to calm you down

and after the whole toji and mother fushiguro went bye bye your mom took in megumi and tsumiki

so now timeskip you're both 6 years old and just walking together from who knows where

and if you thought you grew out of these grabby tendencies no you're either grabbing his hair or his sleeve

yes it still annoys the hell out of him but you do it for shits and giggles

and then on this fine day you just happen to run into the gojo satoru

LMAO MY AUTOCORRECT ALMOST CAPITALIZED HIS NAME

anyway this guy is making his ever so iconic face like 'bro reminds me of his dad-'

anyway gojo doesn't know who you are so you're just standing there awkwardly behind megumi while you're now gripping his backpack

and you're just glaring at gojo for no reason at all for sure just thinking 'who the hell is this weird ahh man with hair like he's in his 70s tryna kidnap megumi 🤨🤨'

and ofc megumi pulls the 'what about my sister' card

and after the whole negotiation with megumi he turns to you and is like 'you can come along too ig'

and ofc you watch megumi so you pull the 'what about my parents' card

gojo's like 😀

anyway you somehow end up going to school with megumi and tsumiki and first day kindergarten no surprise you guys are the new kids

everyone I mean EVERYONE loves tsumiki ofc

a partial reason is because of you and megumi glaring at the people who you think are looking at her a lil funny

like sir ma'am CHILD how dare you

anyway you have a pretty peaceful elementary school

you do pick fights with megumi though

...and a whole lotta other people

you stopped in middle school but looks like megumi picked it up instead because yk he beat up a hefty amount of people

you stanned him for that

also hyping him up from the back

"YEAHH MEGUMI BEAT THEIR ASS"

"shut up."

"no."

".."

"anyway YOU GO MEGUMI BEAT EM UP-"

"sHUT-"

so that was pretty eventful but tsumiki did not approve which caused you to sulk next to megumi

but then yk she went to the cliff and shit went down real fast

tsumiki got cursed, you entered your depressed angsty teenager era, and megumi became emo. more so than he was before

"oh my god its worse than they thought- they made him EMO-"

^ thats megumi now but we all like pretty emo bois so

wItH tHeIr bLaCk hAiR aNd gReEn oRbS-

too bad megumi has blue eyes

>>>>>>

see this is why asians don't have blue eyes we'd be too powerful

anyway back to this you two finish middle school all swandy dandy but a lil depressed

oh and I don't think I mentioned you two got into a fight bc of tsumiki's sickness

like-

megumi: you're closer to tsumiki bc you two are girls why didn't you stop her from pulling random crap whatever she did to make her sick

you: BITCH you blaming ME? you wanna go?

yeah basically you two got into a stupid argument but oh well its fine bc gojo forced you two to talk again and yay you're talking again

and now first year into jujutsu tech you and megumi are the only students so you're still poking and grabbing him all the time

you did it less in middle school

I think we know why

like you're in the car going to a mission- his hairs being tugged

got off the car and walking his sleeve being tugged

everthing

literally everthing

my bros grown immune to it though so he doesn't really mind

he kinda likes it now but will never admit it

so let's say before you got ranked up and all your arm almost got blown off by a curse

needless to say tsumiki's accident really hit him hard so this hit him harder and when I say he got angry he got ANGRY ASF DUDE

like he freakin obliterated the damn curse

he also made it pretty painful

if you even can

and let his demon dogs casually eat it up

and you're just there like 👏👁️👄👁️

"it's not that deep bro-"

"yes it is"

gojo was very proud though

and now you're with him stalking itadori and you're like

woah

*1 braincell working*

itadori = fast

fast = speed

I am speed

ITADORI = LIGHTNING MCQUEEN

kachow

and when you finally confront your stalkee with megumi and itadori's like

"uh I'm mourning rn"

you're just

"thats great and all dude I totally feel you but you're gonna be mourning even more if we don't get our asses to your school"

you did not want to host multiple funerals

so you all speed ran to his school

and whoopsie doosies you're with megumi and itadori makes an entrance like the main character he is

and when my bro eats that finger

and gojo pops up

he throws the kikufuku at megumi

but its okay hope you have a good day imma send you bout 850-

LMAO SORRY

you steal the kikufuku from megumi and eat one as if its popcorn

well you're watching gojo and sukuna fight rn

and you accidentally admit out loud that sukuna's hot

and then megumi low-key side eyes you

BUT THEN HE STARTS FULL ON GLARING AT SUKUNA

bc how dare he some random goofy ahh old mf misongnyistic tatooed dude just steal your attention so casually

he's full on disgusted when he's face to face with sukuna

yes you notice this

you're like

"ooh did somebody get a crush on a thousand year old curse-"

"wtf no get some help"

its the opposite lmao but you don't know that

so then itadori turns back to normal gojo goes boop and he goes to sleep

and now you're here sitting next to megumi, eating Gojo's kikufuku and having the time of your life

holy this is so long imma do a part 2

fun fact my autocorrect always changes sukuna into skunk 🦨

smelly sukuna

[dontbesoweirdkira]

I was wondering if you can do Yandere dick and Tim with a Childe reader who seems to favor Tim over Dick.

Just imagine Tim finding this little Kid following him like a little duckling and thinking that he is soooo cool!

No matter how much Dick makes the kid like him Tim is always his favorite!!

(It will be funny if Batsis who doesn't like Dick at all is also around. He will be losing his mind!!)

A/N:Oh my gosh yes! Lowkey Batsis and Tim being co-sibling-parents lolll. Honestly Tim and Batsis duo is so iconic. I need to do more. I love them. look at him...he's such a good brother.

Here's the thing, Dick is the honorary dad of the family. Like he's changed diapers, taught how to tie shoes, walked his siblings to school and gone to graduations... All the siblings go to him with their problems before Bruce.

Now new baby alert,,,,Dick is in full papa mode and is ready to do the same with batchild and is so hurt when the kid screams in his arms. Like anytime he's near or picks the child up like this kid is in distress. O my gosh I feel so bad. Poor Dick.

Dick is seriously trying so hard to make batchild love him but nothing he does works. Dick could have cocomelon on full blast and wearing a Barney costume and this kid will be trying to get away.

Eventually like Jason has to be like..."dude, please just let someone else take care of em'. They need more time to adjust to you."

It's because of his blue eyes isn't it? Dick unintentionally has the Miley Cyrus blue eyed stare and the kid cannot take it. lol

All jokes aside it's really not that bad but it's clear that Dick isn't their favorite. There's definitely cute moments where Dick is sitting down with batchild in his arms and they are munching on some snacks. Or Dick is singing to them or doing a fun trick with them in the air. But ultimately the kid seems to gravitate to other siblings instead.

Dick doesn't really know how to function though. I mean we've seen just how insane he is with batsis. Only problem is he cannot be as forceful with the child in fear of scaring them.

I think the batchild and Tim situation won't get to him until he sees batsis, Tim and batchild all together.

The whole Tim obsession is out of the blue. Like Tim is almost always in his room or in a dark corner somewhere doing research. He decides to come out one evening as he had a bit of time after a loving some cases...

I like to think Tim is a super geek who probably wears cartoon pajama pants or silly slippers and it caught the kid's attention so he's waddling towards him.

Tim is kind of like...what is happening? What do I do with this young human? He's kind of awkward with the kid at first but the kid is just loving himmm. Tim will try to explain the character that it is on his clothes to the kid, and they will try cutely mimicking him and Tim's heart just melts.

"Oh uhh...this is Link from..well Zelda.."

"lwink...frwum zweldwa..?'

The kid is dead set on sitting with him during dinner too. Like they climb into his lap and starting eating off of his plate. It's perfectly okay because Tim doesn't eat much at all so he didn't mind the kid messing the plate up.

He stays out in the living room a little longer than usual that night to play with the kid a little, it's super sweet.

I like to think Tim and batsis are rather close siblings so there are times where Tim will be coupe up in this room and batsis will come in with batchild and pull him away from his work. Batchild loves playing pretend with the two, specifically knights and dragons and hospital. It's nice seeing Tim a bit out of his element and having fun.

Sometimes batkid will just fall asleep in Tim's arms as he's working late. Speaking of, Tim takes to the kids like they're his little apprentice. Oftentimes you'll find them together with tons of case files out and the kid is grabbing items or pinning things on the board for Tim. Seriously that child's reading level went from first grade to 10th in the span of a few months lmaooo

But there's often times where batsis and Tim are with them. Quickly they become the kid's favorite siblings and they want them to do everything. Like when the kid is hurt, they'll cry for either. If the kid need to get ready for school, they want either to help. If it's movie night, the kid is squished in-between the two. You guys basically broke the honorary parents and it's so adorbs.

But this is where I said Dick is not having it. I feel like Dick was never threatened by Tim until now. Like sure Dick knew that Batsis and Tim were kind of close in a way and he was okay with batkid taking a liking to him...but all three of you being your own little squad is killing him.

He hates being excluded and not being needed so he's like ripping his hair out. He'll try inviting himself into the group and like the kid is just ignoring him...

Dick will try to open a juice box for the kid and now the kid doesn't even want it anymore like....bruh I wants Timmy to open it for me :(

Honestly I am not even sure really how Dick copes...Like I just feel like he doesn't explode because like I said he doesn't wanna scare the kiddo but idkkkk

[jujitto]

▬▬ [𝗘𝗡𝗛𝗬𝗣𝗘𝗡] QUARANTINE W/ YOU

HEESEUNG, quarantine with him would be the most chill quarantine of your life. the two of you are usually lounging around either watching movies or playing video games. the two of you are occasional bakers which started during quarantine. karaoke and dance competitions would be a thing in the house as well as nap cuddles. quarantine with the two of you is something you both enjoy and you guys get to spend some much-needed time together.

JAY, at the beginning of quarantine, you guys were just how you were before. though when it finally hit you guys that you couldn't go out of the house it was around week 10. though you both didn't say it you guys knew that you both would annoy the living daylights out of each other and that's just what happened. you would always pick on jay for no reason while he ignored you. at one point you guys acted normal which consisted of you guys eating junk food, watching nonstop anime marathons, and online shopping. quarantine for the most part would be nothing but the norm for you two.

JAKE, your quarantine where it would be mostly him trying to encourage you to do fun things with him. around the second week of quarantine, you kind of warmed up to the idea of doing something fun. quarantine with jake would be hella funny because this boy would just have jokes for days. there is no doubt in my mind that you guys will have a talent show and just for the fun of it too. jake is your #1 cheerleader/hype man for just about everything. i feel like jake would have a checklist for all the fun things you guys could do while stuck in the house. layla is with y'all so don't worry about that. with having two chaotic puppies in the house with you for quarantine I'm sure you'll find something to do.

SUNGHOON, sunghoon would try his best to enjoy quarantine with you. yes, I said to try his best. deep late-night conversations because like where y'all gotta go in the morning? staring contests which sunghoon would most definitely win unless you cheat. quarantine is the best time for changes. you decided to change your hairstyle so many times meanwhile sunghoon was just sitting there watching like this 🙂. 24/7 surprise kisses like mans could be watching a movie and you would be right there just to kiss him before going to do whatever it is you were doing. at some point during quarantine, he hid from you just to get peace for himself. but you found him eventually and you guys had a quiet picnic in the backyard. quarantine is soft and cute but please let this man breathe some.

SUNOO, you poor baby. you are going to be struggling during quarantine with sunoo. this boy just won't let you breathe with his sassiness but don't worry you'll be right there keeping the same energy. from day one you guys are clowning one another. at some point he gets tired of it all and just wants to cuddle. cuddling takes up most of the day as he wraps his arms around you and lays his head on your shoulder. big fat cheek kisses become a thing during quarantine also star gazing. disney movie marathons are a must with you two. you going bankrupt from the amount of money spent on takeout. doing his makeup all pretty and having runway shows. a fun and somewhat iconic way to spend quarantine with sunoo.

JUNGWON, now jungwon our precious leader of Enhypen has no problem staying in the house especially since it meant he had you all to himself. quarantine is where the iconic moment where you killed him on among us happened. he didn't speak to you for like a few days after it happened. once he gets over it you guys are back to what you were doing which was either cuddling or making goofy faces at each other because I feel like that is something you guys would do. doing his hair is a must and you bought little hair barrettes and clips for him. blanket forts are a thing, especially ones decorated with fairy lights, comfortable pillows, and tons and i mean tons of snacks. Oh and don't forget about playing animal crossing because that's something you guys do too. but being yourself you trapped him and stole from his little village. quarantine was a time when you gave the poor boy tons of headaches and betrayals but he would do it all over again if he had to.

NIKI, quarantine with mr. nishimura riki would be the most chaotic and yet funniest quarantine ever. you guys would be playing childhood games like marbles, tic tac toe, tag, and hide and seek but during the hide and seek game you would get the jump scare of your life because niki is a menace. cooking should not be something you guys do because of you burned ramen. how do you manage to burn cup ramen?! 🤦🏾‍♀️. niki also telling you ghost stories is a must. during the entire story time you're either like this 🤔 or 😨. pick your side babes. during the entirety of the quarantine, there will be an ongoing prank war happening between you two because that's just what chaotic weirdos do. there would be a brief intermission in the war for you guys to stop and chill. you guys would cuddle and act all cute towards each other before continuing your war. overall quarantine with you two is just simply the most chaotic headassery shit ever.

[comfycuddles]

You know what I think...

It's time we start talking about Peter Capaldi.

When we talk about Doctor Who and our favourite modern doctors, we always go round and round in the same circles:

"David Tennant is the greatest Doctor!"

"No way! Matt Smith brought this goofy nature to the character, while maintaining the Doctor's eternal darkness!"

"Please! Nine was funny and sassy and just overall great. He deserved more credit. Eccelston was the best Doctor!"

And sometimes even a:

"I think that although she had to endure poor writing, a female Doctor was refreshing!"

I agree with this of course, and every Doctor brings something with them, you know who we don't post enough about? Or even generally talk about enough?

Peter fucking Capaldi. I seriously think he might be one of the most underrated Doctors of the modern era and It's a WASTE.

From the very beginning he was just amazing. "Do you know how to fly this thing?" ICONIC. His first episode was pure crack in the very best way. (The way he flirted with the dinosaur, anybody?)

Capaldi had this amazing connection with Jenna as Clara (Although I am a Clara stan idc so I might be a little biased about that) and their dynamic was so much fun to watch.

Not unlike David Tennant Peter is such a fan of the show. (As was confirmed by Jenna) But is also nice about it too. He doesn't go around just correcting everyone, but he wants everyone to know what an amazing show it is and wants people to love it just as much as he does.

Also 12 was so iconic??? Fighting fucking Robin Hood with a spoon? Awesome! Rolling into the middle ages on a fucking tank, calling people "Dude", making puns and dumb jokes and above else SLAYING that guitar?! Yes! A thousands times Yes! Just the best space grandpa ever!

Capaldi is so unhinged and has this chaotic energy while still appearing as the sanest person in the room. Just look up some stories about him fucking around on the set.

It was also very refreshing to see an older Doctor. I mean, I think Capaldi wad the oldest guy to play the Doctor since HARTNELL. He still had this youthful energy, but he just seemed so DONE with everyones bullshit. 12 handled things with a certain maturity that I kinda loved.

Like he has life experience, he KNOWS what his actions will cause and that's GOOD to see of the Doctor. And at the same time he's also forgiving himself for all the things he's done, which is even BETTER.

And don't even talk to me about his relationship with his companions and Missy. First of all the latter gives me life. And his relationship with Bill was so good y'all. I mean, he punched a racist in the face for her. (ICON!!!!) And were just adorable.

And my final point, the biggest point: Peter Capaldi is just an AMAZING actor. We all love "Heaven sent" and It's just the greatest episode EVER and this is party because Moffat wrote it so beautifully, but also because of Capaldi's Jaw dropping performance!!! If he wasn't SUCH an amazing actor the episode would have never worked. And I am certain of this fact. He did that y'all! HE. DID. THAT.

Capaldi gave some of the best speeches and performances in Doctor Who history. And everyone sleeps on it, and I say "No more!" Also his line. "Do you think I care for you so little that betraying me would make a difference?" DONE, SOBBING ON THE DAMN FLOOR. I need to say with this that I'm NOT an emotional person at all. But somehow that line hit me right in the feels and never stopped.

So yeah

Eccelston was hilarious and fun and amazing

David was awesome and I think It's definitely deserved that he goes down in history as one of the greatest Doctors.

Matt had some heartwrenging moments that I'll never get over, was as cool as bowties and just lovely

And Jody was unique and ADORABLE!

But y'all are SLEEPING on Peter Capaldi and 12 and that is SO undeserved.

Mister Capaldi Sir, if you ever see this, (You probably won't, but that's okay. I hope it does though) just know, that I love and adore you so much and think you are one of the greatest actors and human beings in the history of everything. And you DESERVE to know that. I will forever be proud to say that 12 that is my favourite Doctor of all time. And I say this without half a doubt in my mind. I'm a proud Peter Capaldi stan until the end of time. And just know that I and so many more people along with me have so much LOVE for you. (Most of us not in a creepy way though) and you are CRIMINALLY underrated.

Thank you so much for reading my rant.

This has been a Peter Capaldi/12th Doctor appreciation post. And I invite you to reblog this and show your love for the best Doctor. Only positivity though, stay nice.

[fantasticstoryteller]

I just had this funny headcanon where Damian Wayne is a guy who obssessed with games and can't leave his room for 5 minutes until Danny decide to drags him out of his room.

Danny: Damian! It's afternoon, come out! DAMIAN!

Damian: (grumbles) Fenton! How many times do I have to tell you not to just burst in here! Now be quiet, I'm close to advancing Fuuka-chan's path!

Danny: Fuuka what?

(Danny then glancing at the screen; a teal-haired, pale girl was offering the player a homemade lunch)

How is it? (the girl on screen asked)

Damian: (grins) HA! The obvious answer is that it's delicious!

(Damian scrolled over the appropriate response, and was rewarded with a new message:) The Fuuka Yamagishi social link has reached level 4!

Damian: Yes! I finally did it! Now it's time for Yuk-

Danny: (drags Damian out) Okay dude, I'm gonna taking you out. No game for you!

The game would. Not. Die. Danny had deleted it. He'd "accidentally" destroyed the console it was on. He'd tried to give it to Technus!

Technus who had taken one look at the code for the game and then fled as fast as his corny self could go to the Zone, which--yeah, that really should have been Danny's first clue. Or maybe the fact that it mysteriously reuploaded itself with all the data intact.

Still, he'd thought it was a prank. He'd thought it was something Steph did. Or maybe Cass. (So many people didn't realize how much of a chaos gremlin Cass was.) Or maybe it was something that Ellie had found and given to Damian the last time she came through.

He should have investigated it more. He really should have. And now, he stood cursing himself for not having done that.

Standing beside Damian, in a Gotham Academy girl's uniform, was a girl with short, teal colored hair. She brushed some hair out of her face with a pale hand and looked up at Danny through her lashes. "Hi," she said.

"This," said Damian proudly as he put an arm around the girl. The girl who giggled and cuddled into Damian's side. "Is Fuuka Yamagishi."

"Hey, Fuuka!" said Dick. Dick didn't realize anything was wrong. Of course not; when Damian had started playing a dating sim, Dick had given the boy his space with vague comments about "learning about relationships" and "more emotionally mature than his old man." Dick grinned at the girl that Danny was trying, oh, so hard, not to attack.

She was not a ghost. Danny wasn't sure what she was, but she was not a ghost.

"Oh!" Steph appeared and Danny glared at the blond girl. This was her fault. He didn't know how, but this was her fault. Or maybe Cass. Or Ellie.

His suspect pool was too large for this.

"How'd ya meet?" asked Steph as she bounced off Dick's shoulder.

Fuuka laid her head against Damian's shoulder. "Damian saved me," she said with clear adoration in her voice.

"Aw!" cooed Steph. Both Steph and Dick ushered Damian and Fuuka inside.

Danny--Danny had to let them do it. What could he say, "No, this is a video game character, Damian why are you dating a video game character?"

"Yo, Danny," called Dick. "You coming?"

Inspiration struck and Danny pulled out his phone. "In a minute," he said as he searched his contact list. It couldn't have been that long since they'd been in contact, could it? "I need to make a phone call."

"I guess that means we'll just get a head start on learning about Damian's girlfriend," said Dick casually.

Danny bit back a scream as he finally found the contact. "Have fun," he said through grit teeth as he pressed the icon. "Please pick up," he chanted as the other phone rang through the line. He looked back at the manor that now housed six people, two ghosts, and one video game character. "Please pick up!"

[multi-fandomsfreak]

Hi, I have an MX request if you’ll accept it..

So you know how Lord X and MX are canonically best friends. Imagine MX introducing his girlfriend aka the reader who is the total opposite of him to Lord X. Like MX is a vicious, apathetic, ruthless, and manipulative person while Reader is very shy, kind-hearted, empathetic and sweet. So this confuses Lord X because reader seems like the definition of innocence and Lord X definitely finds this relationship weird because of MX’s usual catchphrase. “Innocence doesn't get you FAR...” but it seems like MX likes Reader’s innocent nature. It’s like MX is a whole different person when Reader is around and don’t even get me started on how overprotective this mf is over reader but all in all Lord X is fine with this relationship because he can use reader against MX. (Ex: MX does something Lord X hates. Lord X will be like: “I’ll tell reader what you did.” and MX is just running after Lord X and shouting at him to not tell reader.)

Like their relationship dynamic is literally: Sweet Baby x Literal Demon.

(Also use She/Her pronouns please 😊)

Anyways that’s it.. I hope you’re doing okay and please remember to eat something and drink some water and take breaks from the computer to avoid eyestrain.

Being In A Relationship With MX

Hey there! Thanks for the ask!

I suprisingly had some fun writing this. I find it funny at the thought of MX chasing after Lord X like over Lord X snitching on him. Also it was interesting writing how MX would be in a relationship. Hope you enjoy it. ~Blaze/Dawn

Pronouns: She/Her

Warning: ⚠️Stalking + Possessive Behaviour + Blackmail⚠️

Requested: Yes/No

Characters: MX + Lord X

Proofread: ❌

Credits: Art by Deadtos on DeviantArt + Banner by Kaileyfln (Edited By Me) on Pinterest

———————————

- Honestly I’m surprised you even managed to get someone like him. MX someone who is considered a beast, feared by many and known for doing anything from being manipulative and straight up being ruthless to anyone or anything in his way and here he was being an absolute sweetheart to you who was the complete opposite compared to him. Many people have questioned how and why you were dating him and you didn’t really know yourself. But he treats you with respect so you do the same in return.

- Sometimes he even questions himself about the irony of this relationship. The fact that one of his iconic catchphrases is ‘Innocences doesn’t get you far’ and yet is dating someone who is the definition of innocence and words related to it. This thought literally hits him at the most random points and even more when the two of you are hanging out. He doesn’t even know why but even though he constantly says this to his victims to which you would assume he doesn’t like innocence, he actually really likes it that you are. He can’t really explain or give a reason except that ‘she’s an exception’ which only confuses the fuck out of people.

- I’m just going to say this here and I don’t care what y’all say but MX is great hugging material, even if he isn’t used to receiving or reciprocating them due to how he is a being. The only reason I think this is because of his large figure, hugging him is like hugging a massive stuffed bear. Although I did say he isn’t used to receiving or reciprocating them that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do them or hate it. He likes it a lot especially when you do it because he believes it shows that you trust him despite his behaviour outside of your guy's relationship.

- Yours and his relationship is basically as said in the request is literally Sweet Baby x Literal Demon. You have literal scary dog privileges when you're around MX. You don’t have to worry about getting into trouble or getting harm when he’s around, people would be too scared to do so and even if they did well he’ll make sure they won’t do it again.

- He’s extremely protective over you, he constantly has to be around you like a massive bodyguard rarely letting you out of his sight for a moment unless you absolutely have to be and even if this situation happens he’s not that far behind you. One time you even found him peeking around the corner just staring at you like he was stalking you. Well he was but shut up that’s not the point. He often treats you like a fragile item, making sure there’s nothing that could harm you. Even being extremely careful himself with his own strength around you making sure he doesn’t hurt you. He’s aware of his strengths and how strong he is compared to you and to him it would be an absolute shame if anyone especially him breaks (to him at least) ‘an antique doll’.

- Even though it took a long time due to his protectiveness over you and in his own way worrying over what might happen to you he figured that he could introduce you to one of his best friends which just so happens to be the well known sadistic hedgehog Lord X. It’s not like he hasn’t told him, he has told him about your existence but not in grave detail. Initially when first hearing about MX having a girl let alone dating said girl he was surprised himself. This mostly resulted in Lord X teasing him through jokes to which MX told him off for it. But that doesn’t mean he wasn’t happy for him, of course he was happy it was his best bud we are talking about. In fact when he heard about him wanting to introduce you to him he was over the moon immediately asking a million questions about you and what you can do, assuming that you were someone like him.

+ As soon as he saw his friend arrive he immediately went up to greet him “MX! Welcome back old pal” Lord X said with his iconic smirk on his face to which MX returned the favour with the slightly scared you right by him taking in every detail of the messed up hedgehog “Nice to see you again Lord X” MX tipped his hat down as a way to greet him “so where’s the lucky girl? Will she be here soon?” Lord X immediately asked about his girlfriend, which was you not realising that you were already here “she’s already here.” He said placing a hand on your shoulder which caused Lord X to look oddly confused before looking to where his hand was going and immediately spotted you. “Lord X meet [Name], [Name] meet Lord X.” He introduced the two of you to each other. Lord X took a moment to look at you creating a slight tension for you, worrying about what he was thinking. Before long he slightly chuckled to himself before speaking up “A human? Your Girlfriend is a human? Well this is a surprise” he said which caused MX’s face switch to annoyance “Yeah? You got a problem with it?” He asked in a tone that was slightly threatening towards his friend which caused Lord X to laugh it off “No, No of course not pal. Just a little surprised” he gave him a smile before approaching you “regardless it’s a pleasure to finally meet you [Name].” He offered his hand for you to shake to which you did “yeah…same here”

- Surprisingly the two of you get along, despite you two being opposite personalities just like MX. He likes to joke about your relationship with his friend. Mostly teasing MX but occasionally roping you in as well. Occasionally the teasing/jokes range from how completely different you two are to slightly more suggestive jokes. But regardless he doesn’t mind the relationship. Surprisingly he finds it cute, in his way. The fact he can see his friend instantly go from a murderous beast to a massive teddy bear around you honestly makes him laugh sometimes. Seeing how lovey dovey he is around you he can’t help but tease him.

- He definitely blackmails MX about this. Do you know that video by a YouTuber named Slashest with the video being named ‘Cooper2723 is back…” ? If you’ve watched it then I can basically imagine going somewhere like that. Lord X knows that MX is soft around you and doesn’t want to be separated from you. If MX does something he doesn’t like and wants him to stop, all he has to say is “you know…it would be a shame if [Name] was told you were doing this?” This instantly shuts him up. He doesn’t know why he reacts like this. He’s much more powerful compared to you but the thought of possibly getting trouble by you, it makes him scared. Well scared is a bit of an exaggeration when it comes to him but regardless he starts to feel nervous and doesn’t want to escalate it so he stops.

- Sometimes Lord X actually goes through with it even if MX stops or not. As soon as that sentence leaves his mouth he instantly starts heading to where you are, with an angry yet nervous MX chasing behind him. Surprisingly, begging him to not tell you. Sometimes Lord X has actually succeeded in telling you which creates a sulked MX, arms crossed mumbling apologies for his behaviour to you as you gently pat his back hugging his side as a way of telling him you forgive him or that he doesn’t have to apologise. Lord X and MX behave like two kids with one ready to snitch on the other.

- Overall, yours and his relationship is actually pretty wholesome despite who he is.

———————————

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

My reactions to episode 7 of season 2 of Criminal Minds Evolution

The only thing I know about this episode is that it's fucked up

Spoilers below the cut!

(TW: loss of a child under the cut)

oh, acid showers. lovely.

oh god the hair melting off the scalp. no WONDER i got warnings for this episode

drowning in acid. Lovely!!!

oh this IS fucked up.

Garvez in the same room! Yay! Crumbs!

Have I mentioned I love JJ and Luke's friendship?

Penelope with all the pretty flowers on her dress!! she looks so good in this scene

Penelope is just straight-up STARING at Luke

TARA WITH THE SLICKED BACK HAIR SHE'S SO GORGEOUS I LOVE HER

Emily reading Tyler to shit over his handwriting? Iconic.

Look I kinda love Tyler. AS HIS OWN SEPARATE CHARACTER AWAY FROM PENELOPE. When he's with literally ANYONE else, he's great.

Tara i see those heart eyes for Emily

"Mr. Sensitive" help i SNORTED

Why is Rossi so against contacting Jill? Forbidding her?

Okay so my theory was correct. The victim at the beginning sexually assaulted the unsub's wife, and this baby is a product of that.

Look Tyler is adorable, okay? When he's interacting with the rest of the team, I love him.

"Just what Garcia told me" I wasn't under the impression that they talked much???? Especially about this kind of stuff.

They're just turning Tyler into their puppy and i'm here for it

Voit's Lawyer! finally!

He's really offering to END his lawyer's ex wife???

ooh that shot through all the car windows is cool

"I just want you to be you" please god tell me she's not saying "clearly you have a way of winning over/seducing older blonde women and i need you to do that"

"I don't wanna be that guy." Yes Tyler!! Growth!!

"just fuckin drive" emily i love you. I also love this friendship dynamic.

JJ: Maybe Penelope can help us find [the connection.] Luke: Penelope! Yes! Let's go see Penelope! I love Penelope! (he loves her it's canon)

LUKE SITTING ON THE DESK LUKE SITTING ON THE DESK

LUKE THE SMIRK??? THE HEART EYES??? oh my GOD

"It's why you and I are finally friends" DAMN FATALITY

"finally" with the smirk I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HOLY FUCK

I just know JJ is sitting there like "are y'all gonna stop flirting for two seconds"

THEIR SMILES OH MY GOD THEY'RE JUST SO THRILLED TO BE AROUND EACH OTHER THEY'RE SO IN LOVE.

"thanks frieeend" I LOVE THEM BY THAT DELIVERY WAS SO FUNNY. Also he touched her arm/back

The way they're calling each other "friend" is literally so flirty.

PLEASE tell me someone has done a gifset comparing "we thrive as frenemies" to "it's why you and I are finally friends."

Also the way that means she literally just called him TREASURE????

I just know that as Luke was saying "thanks frieeeend" he was thinking "thanks, friend, i love youuu"

THIRD HOTCH MENTION OF THE SEASON GODDAMN

Hotch, Morgan, and Reid all in the SAME SCENE damn

I love Jill already

Ooh, fiancé not fiancée

"I loved Jason" "He loved you back" I'M IN SHAMBLES ACTUALLY

Emily did you just say that David Rossi ISN'T dramatic???

Tyler and i are JUST as fucking confused

"The next generation of the BAU" really reminds me of how much younger than all of them he is which just makes me feel icky about Greencia all over again

Luke leading the profile delivery! Getting his moment! We love to see it!

Oh shit the doctor is spilling ALL the tea

I wonder if the baby is dead, a delusion

This is dark.

Wait, are the baby AND the mother dead??? Oh that would make sense for why the guy puked when he saw her. It was a skeleton

this really is a luke heavy ep and i am here for it

oh god yeah that's... fucked.

They need to start putting some god damn trigger warnings on this show

Luke looks genuinely SAD for this man.

They can give Voit a corded phone? this feels like a risk of some sort

A kill kit??? we didn't leave that behind last season??

"Do not, for any reason, open it." and ofc he opens it right away

JILL AND PENELOPE HUG MY HEARTTTT

Tara and Tyler friendship!

Oh Jilllll. I wanna hug her.

That scene with Jill walking around touching everything... oh my heart. Aisha Tyler you ate with that.

[pricegouge]

That drabble was GREAT I'm imagining bear!bunny huffily leaving a review later on Yelp like "0/5 got a fish thrown at me didn't even let me stay to watch the game before they called animal control and my team lost. But the chicken is really good" and Price reading it and having to sit down because. The fucking bear knows how to type?

Oh my god keyboard karen bunny… 

Takes place directly after this. I used google reviews instead of yelp just cause I have more experience with it 

"Soap, what the hell is this?"

The man looks over lazily from where he's pithing lemon, but straightens up when he sees John's genuinely pissed off face. "What's what, sir?"

John slides his open phone to the man across the bar, recent zero star review on full display. "Very funny but you're fucking with my average. Take it down."

Soap frowns down at the phone, reading over the angry lines of text with a scowl that only deepens with every word. "Ah dinnae write this!"

"Then who did?" 

"Fockin' -," he glances back at the phone, scrolls up until he sees the reviewer's name, "Mama-bear-four-oh-six." John just glares at him, unimpressed. Soap huffs, waves the phone back at his boss. "Cap, ah clearly dinnae write this. None of this is in Scots."

"Shite," John deflates. He takes his phone back with a pat to the other man's shoulder. "You're right, sorry mate. But if you didn't, who did?"

"Si?" Soap sounds just as unconvinced about it as John is. "I dinnae ken. Did ye check the account?"

Of course he did. MamaBear406 was a brand new account as far as he could tell; as close to anonymous as Google allowed. One of the main reasons he'd assumed someone was taking the piss. Well, that and because aside from the three of them, the only creature present for the fish incident had been the bear itself. Herself?

"Must've been Simon," John hedges, just in time for the man in question to come easing through the saloon doors, quiet as a mouse save for the way he read allowed from his phone.

"'Zero out of five stars. A real shame about the service. With its beautiful open store front and kitchen I swear I could smell a mile away, I thought I'd found the perfect new watering 'ole. Boy was I wrong. They threw a fish at me! Didn't even let me stay until the end of the second period before calling authorities on me. So rude. Chicken was good.'" Simon eyes them from under his heavy brow. "Cap, you know what this means?"

"My ratings are now arse?"

"Our Johnny's learned to spell."

"Ye fockin' -!"

"Alright," John cut Soap off sternly. "Was it you, Si?"

"Please." The big man lumbers closer, tabling his phone as he leans across the bar to join their huddle. "If I wanted to ruin your reputation, I'd just stop coming to work."

John sighs, bewildered about their predicament, but believing his mate all the same. Soap, then. Meddling bastard. He hangs his head, catching a glimpse of Simon's phone in the process. "Oh look, we've got a defender." 

Soap leans past Simon's shoulder to read the comment below the review asking MamaBear what she did to deserve such treatment. "Ah know him. Regular. Ah'll 'spill' his first round next time he comes in."

"Good lad," John agrees. At a loss, he pulls his own phone back to himself and taps MamaBear's icon again, hoping to glean something new -.

And frowns in shock when he sees a new comment posted, thirty seconds ago.

"'Was just trying to watch the game!'" he recites.

The other men frown in confusion at him and John simply reaches over, refreshing Simon's page to display MamaBear's responding comment under the other one. Even Simon looks confused, eyes darting to Soap suspiciously. 

"How'd you do that?" he demands, and Soap starts whinging about never being believed or something, but John's not listening. Too busy coming to terms with the fact that he may be the kind of man who's willing to believe a bloody bear wrote a Google review.

next>>