#and blowing up the gun together i assume?

[bleedingcoffee42]

bob bible 1/4

[whytheylosttheirminds]

I Remember Everything - Rafe Cameron

(Prologue and Chapter 1)

Summary: You left the island two years ago, leaving the love of your life a shattered man in your wake. Now, when you return, you find the sweet boy you once loved has transformed into a monster of a man. How can you detangle the real Rafe from the terrible things he's done?

Timeline: begins toward the end of obx season 3 and is mostly canon.

Content: this story contains sexual content, alcohol and drug abuse, and brief mentions of violence. All chapters are 18+, minors do not interact!

⯎series masterlist⯎

Prologue

Before gold, before grams, before the gun, there was you. Back when there weren’t crosses to steal, lines to snort, cops to run from, there was you. Long summer nights on the Druthers, your mom blowing up your phone ‘cause you missed curfew again. Skipping class and riding to the beach on the back of his bike. All the way back to grade school, playing tag and pretending you were pirates. Then middle school, that kiss under the lifeguard tower, a first for both of you. In high school, the night you got back from the “character-building summer camp” you had been shipped off to and you shared your other first. When you were first together, it didn’t even hurt, but just felt like fucking finally. 

He remembers it all, taking all of his strength to keep it stuffed under the surface. The coke, the violence, the drama he creates in his wake cover you up nicely, until those nights when he’s dead asleep and there you are again, leaving. When he wakes, it all comes back to him. How he sat on the curb and watched you go, bloody and hurt from the night that was your final straw. How he showed up on your doorstep the next day, like he was five-years-old again asking if you could come outside and play. How your mother told him you were gone and wouldn’t tell him where you went.

“Honey,” she said with something like pity in her voice, “Promise me, you’ll let her go, let her be happy.��

A promise he kept, until the day you rolled back into town with no warning. Your timing could not have been worse. After the summer from hell, the summer that made him a killer, he finally felt like he was in control. It wasn’t until he saw you, the only person in the world that ever really knew him, that he realized he had no idea who he was. 

Chapter One

You clutched your phone tight, reading and rereading the message. One you used to get nearly every night but hadn’t seen in two long years.

party at cameron’s tonite !!

It was a group text, sent by the girl from your high school you bumped into in the grocery store earlier that day. You had been back on the island for all of an hour before inevitably seeing someone you knew. You tried to duck quickly into the cereal aisle, but she caught your eye before you could disappear, an action you were infamous for.

“Omg, we need to hang out soon!” She had said, before handing you her phone to put your new number in.

You smiled your fakest smile and said, “it’s a must!” You didn’t think either of you really meant it, but apparently she had.

There were eleven or twelve other numbers in the group text, none you had saved, but you assumed they were likely other people from your high school. She probably just added anyone in her contacts she could think of, not even stopping to realize she was inviting the Kook prince’s former princess to his party. Your relationship had been the stuff of legend on this island. Everyone had an opinion, you were practically a celebrity couple, and it was the biggest news on the island for months when you left, suddenly disappearing overnight. Some real shit must’ve gone down around here since then to make it such old news that this girl didn’t even think about it when adding you to this text.

Your heart pounding in your ears, you couldn’t believe it when you felt yourself typing out i’ll be there :) 

You wore your hair down, the way you always used to have it in high school. After you left, you had cut it short, wanting to shed away as much of your old life as you could, but in the last few months you’d started to let it grow back. Now it flowed down to the middle of your back, tickling the skin of your shoulders where the thin spaghetti straps of the little dress you had on left them exposed. You let the front pieces fall around your face, a sort of curtain to keep an extra layer between you and the other partygoers.

You could not believe you were here. For real this time, not in a dream as you had been every night for two years, but really here. 

As you walked down the gravel path, it all came rushing back. The smell of Rose’s garden, the distant sound of the ocean lapping against the shore, the low thud of the music echoing through the crisp evening air. How many times have you walked down this path? How many nights had you spent here, your senses filled with the glory of Tannyhill, the glory of him? And yet now it felt so heavy, the sights, sounds, smells of it all were nearly choking you. Tears welled in your eyes, but something kept your feet walking towards those grand front doors, towards him.

Four years earlier…

The glass panes of the front door are slightly blurred, only revealing the soft lighting of the grand entryway on the other side. You had crossed this threshold at least a thousand times in the ten years since your family moved to this island. Knocking felt strange, you felt so small standing here in the porch light, surrounded by moths and the thick coastal August air. An envelope, wrinkled from being opened and rifled through so many times, was clutched between your clammy hands.

A figure you couldn’t quite make out approached the door, and your heart pounded in your ears as you hoped desperately it would be him who opened the door. But it wasn’t.

“Oh, hey - I- hi, Mr. Cameron,” you stammered, ever intimidated by the island’s most powerful man.

“Y/N,” Ward nodded cordially. “It’s after 10pm.”

You smiled weakly, if you felt small before, you feel positively infantile now.

“I was just hoping I could see Rafe for like, just a second,” you pleaded, putting on your sweetest smile.

“He’s studying,” Ward said. “You can come back tomorrow. Goodnight.”

Before you could protest, the door was closed and the blurred figure retreated into the house.

Never one to give up, you stuffed the letter into the back pocket of your jeans, and stepped back from the porch, sizing up the massive house to see which rooms still had lights on. You knew the blueprint of this place by heart, checking off each family member mentally as you scanned their window for signs of life. Wheezie’s room? Dark. Sarah’s room? Dark. Rose and Ward’s room? Still lit. This would have to be a stealth mission. 

You snuck around the side of the house and looked up at the last window on your list. To your excitement, the room was still lit. You saw a long shadow pass by the curtains, and you actually jumped a little from the thrill. After spending the longest summer of your life apart from the one person you wanted to spend it with, he was actually right there, just two stories off the ground.

You traveled 800 miles today, what was a few more feet? Blocking out the better judgment ringing in the back of your mind, you picked up a few pebbles from the rocky path that leads to the backyard, and started climbing the big tree that grew right up past Rafe’s balcony. How you were gonna get from the tree to the balcony? That was five-minutes-from-now-you’s problem. You chuckled to yourself as your body naturally found each branch and knot on the tree. You used to have competitions when you were kids to see who could climb this tree the fastest, and you beat Rafe everytime. You remembered the shocked look on his face the first time he saw you scurry up the tree, you were hoping for a similar level of approving surprise once you got where you were going.

Once you reached the branch directly across from Rafe’s balcony, you pulled one of the pebbles from your pocket and chucked it at his window as hard as you could. 

“Shit,” you whisper-yelled as the throw fell short and the pebble dropped, loudly knocking into the first floor window below. You couldn’t afford another noise-causing miss, so you recalculated the throw and bit your lip as you lobbed the next pebble hard. It smacked into Rafe’s window with a loud TINK and you smiled in satisfaction. You waited a moment, then two, and still nothing. The shadowy figure did not return to the curtain. You only had one pebble left, and you had never been good at climbing back down this tree. Remembering the time you fell out of it onto the waiting Rafe below, and you both ended up needing stitches, your stomach twisted in fear. You took in a deep breath and held it, letting the last pebble fly. Another sharp TINK, and a moment of baited breath later, the tall shadow finally returned to the window.

Rafe opened the curtains harshly and you immediately broke into a wild smile. He looked so cute in his fitted gray t-shirt and plaid pajama pants, his normally gelled back her falling in messy pieces around his face. You held back a giggle, delighted by the completely confused look on his face as he searched out the window for the cause of the sound. He lifted the window open and examined the two pebbles that had fallen on the windowsill. 

You took the opportunity to whisper a loud “psssst.” His face shot up in surprise and his eyes finally found you in the tree, just a few feet off of the balcony. Where you expected to see surprised delight on his face, you instead caught something cold and irritated.

“Y/N,” he whisper-called to you. “What are you doing?”

“I just got back, I wanted to see you!” You called to him, hoping his apparent anger was just in response to his own shock.

“I’m busy.” Rafe went to close the window and you felt your moment of opportunity slip away.

“Wait!” you stopped him. “Please don’t make me climb down. We both know it won’t end well.” You smiled a sweetly shy smile you hoped would melt his icy demeanor a bit.  

He sighed and looked at you annoyed for a moment before climbing out the window, his height requiring him to duck low in order to make it through. He had grown even taller over the summer, he must have hit 6 foot by now, maybe more. Your stomach flipped as you watched his athletic frame emerge from his bedroom, now able to see how defined his arms looked in the moonlight. You’d always thought he was a cute boy, but the way he looked right now lit a fire in your belly. Then you realized what it was - while you were gone, the cute boy-next-door had become a man.

“Just reach over,” he directed you.

“I don’t think I can without falling,” you explained. “I think I’m gonna have to jump.”

“Are you stupid?” He scoffed humorlessly.

Your heart sank, the boy you left behind three months ago never would have called you stupid.

“It’ll be fine, you just have to catch me,” you explained.

He rolled his eyes and opened his arms, reaching them over the bannister of the balcony, “fine.”

The brief moment of joy you got from his submission faded fast as you made the mistake of looking down at the gap between the tree and the balcony.

“Actually…” you said, bravery fading.

“What, are you scared?” Rafe taunted.

“No!” you insisted. You smiled at him, suddenly feeling like the two of you were ten again and he was daring you to jump off the trampoline into the pool in your backyard.

Now or never. With a deep breath and a sharp yelp, you threw yourself out of the tree and towards his waiting arms on the balcony. As promised, he caught you, and pulled you quickly over the bannister. His arms wrapped around your waist, yours around his shoulders, he held you there just a few inches off the ground.

You flattened your hands against the taut muscles of his shoulders, delighting in the strong warmth of them. But before you could fully revel in the feeling of being in his arms, he released his grip on your waist and you dropped the final few inches to the ground. Rafe quickly stepped back, breaking the lock your arms had around his neck. Despite the southern summer heat, the air between you suddenly felt ice cold.

“Rafe,” you whispered, stepping towards him, but he only pulled further away.

“You shouldn’t be here,” he said without even looking at you.

Rafe started back towards his window, and something gave you the feeling he was not going to invite you to follow him through it.

“I need to talk to you,” you started to explain.

Rafe whipped around to face you, the way he towered over you at his new height sending goosebumps down your spine.

“Why don’t you go talk to your new boyfriend instead?” He snapped.

You were so stunned that you let out a little laugh, which only made his furrowed brow scrunch even more in anger.

“What are you talking about?” You asked.

“I saw the pictures your camp was posting on their website all summer. I saw you wrapped around that douchebag.”

It took a moment of confused silence for you to realize what he was talking about, when it finally dawned on you, you laughed again. He turned from you and started heading towards the window again, but you caught his arm, your hand not able to fit even halfway around it.

“No, Rafe,” you explained, “That was just Andy, one of the other campers. We were doing a trust fall exercise. He dropped me like two seconds after that!”

Despite himself, Rafe turned to look at you, eyes examining you nervously. 

“Are you ok?” He asked in a small voice, wishing desperately that he didn’t care.

You smiled softly, there he was - your boy. 

“I’m fine,” you assured him, showing him the small scar on your wrist. “Just a little scrape.”

A moment passed, he avoided your eyes but allowed you to step closer, your hand sliding down his arm and slipping into his, his fingers reluctantly intertwining with yours. You knew exactly what words he was struggling to find, but decided to let him get there on his own.

Finally, “Why didn’t you answer my letters?”

Your other hand reached into your back pocket and pulled out the envelope you had tucked away. You held it out to him wordlessly. He took the letter and held it to the light coming from his room, examining it with a confused look. The envelope was addressed to him at Tannyhill, from you at camp. When he finally noticed the “return to sender” label, it all clicked.

“They kept getting returned to me, I don’t know why,” you said as you squeezed his hand. “I asked to use my phone to let you know but they wouldn’t let me. I almost just snuck out of camp and came home so I could explain it to you.”

“Your mom would’ve been so mad,” he said, finally, finally smiling at you.

“Then she would’ve just taken away my phone and we’d be back where we started,” You said. “There’s like twenty more letters like that. I don’t know why they never made it to you, it’s like someone was sabotaging me.”

Rafe seemed satisfied with your explanation and the remaining bit of anger on his face melted away completely. He stuffed the letter in his pocket and suddenly threw his arms around you, lifting you in the air as you yelped in surprise, giggling as he started planting sloppy kisses all over your face and neck.

“Shhh, baby, my parents will hear you,” he whispered. “They’ve got me locked in my tower because I failed my last quiz in this fucking summer school pre-calc class.”

“Rafe!” you said in mock-scandal. “Naughty language!”

“Oh, baby, I can say way naughtier things than that,” he growled in your ear, your cheeks now burning from real-scandal.

“C’mon,” he said, setting you down and grabbing your hand, to lead you to his still-open window. 

He placed his large hand on the small of your back as he helped you through the window, climbing in after you and closing it slowly so as to not make a sound.

You and Rafe had done some more-than-kissing things before, but that was the night you gave yourselves to each other completely. He held you after, softly kissing the scar on your arm from when Andy had dropped you.

“Never gonna let that Andy asshole touch you again,” he said between kisses. “He can find his own girl, you’re mine.”

You giggled and he looked up at you in confusion.

“Rafe,” you were laughing hard now. “Andy’s gay.”

He broke into a bashful grin, a quick blush of embarrassment swept across his cheeks before he grew serious again and started kissing up your arm.

“I don’t care,” he said. “They should all know - all the Andys and Jakes and Chads and whoeverthefucks,” his kisses had reached your neck, “no guy is ever gonna get to touch you like me.” He pulled back and looked into your eyes with a sincerity that squeezed your heart. “Gonna love you forever. Gonna marry you, make you a mom. Never gonna spend three months, or even three fucking days away from you again. That what you want?”

“Yes,” you breathed, meaning it with your whole being.

“Good.”

Now…

The memories flooded your brain as you opened the door and stepped into the home you used to think would be yours someday. The party was swelling, the vibe feeling so familiar and so uncomfortable at the same time.

You made your way straight to the kitchen, desperately needing a drink. Every step you took sent a memory flashing through your thoughts like a shock to your brain. You passed the living room and saw movie-nights-turned-make-out-sessions on the couch, playing mario kart with Sarah and Wheezie while Rafe laughed at your hyper-competitiveness, prom pictures in front of the fireplace. You passed the dining room and saw the first family dinner you were invited to, how you made Ward laugh with a story about fishing your own dad used to tell, how Rafe squeezed your thigh under the table in pride. You entered the kitchen and saw the time you and Rafe set off the smoke alarm trying to make pancakes, the time he lifted you onto the counter and went down on you when his family was out of town. And then, standing by the keg, you saw the girl who invited you, clearly plastered already.

“Omg!” She yelled when she saw you.

Everyone else in the large kitchen turned and looked at you. It felt dramatic, but you could swear the whole room fell silent when they saw you, a comical record scratch playing in your head.

The girl who invited you ran over to you, beer sloshing over the side of her solo cup and onto her shirt. 

“I can not believe you came,” she said, loud enough for everyone to hear. “I completely forgot when I invited you, about, you know, you and-”

“Can I get one of those?” you cut her off quickly, gesturing towards her drink.

Before she could answer, a loud crash came from outside the kitchen’s open french doors. The heads that had all been watching you suddenly snapped toward the sound towards the crowded back yard. When the loud bellow of a man’s voice rang out, the people in the kitchen all ran towards the unfolding scene. You pushed through the crowd and out the doors, drawn inexplicably to the voice. Your heart dropped to your stomach when you realized why - it was Rafe.

There in the backyard, packed with drunk people and lit by string lights, Rafe stood with his fist clenched in the collar of some guy’s white button up, forcefully pulling the scared looking dude toward him while he yelled.

“I said none of that fucking cheap shit,” Rafe yelled at the guy you now realized was a cater-waiter. 

“I’m sorry sir, I-” Rafe threw the man down and he fell back in the dirt.

“This isn’t some ghetto block party out in The Cut,” Rafe yelled. “Do you know who’s fucking house you’re at right now?”

The crowd around you watched, most smiling in support of the man they looked at like he was a rockstar. You cringed at the looks of admiration in their eyes and took Rafe in with your own.

He looked different, harder. His floppy blond locks had been shaved off, and he had traded old t-shirts and jeans for slacks and a polo. He was as tall and built as you remembered, but instead of it being endearing, it was just scary as he looked down at the poor server like he was gonna kill him.

Then he spat on him. He actually spat on another human being. It disgusted you in more ways than one, and you felt your heart breaking in your chest as you realized you had no idea who this man was. The boy who held you on that night four years ago and promised to be yours forever clearly didn’t live here anymore. You turned quickly and pushed back through the crowd, unable to watch another second of this sickening display of toxic masculinity.

Rafe glared down at the pogue-scum in the dirt below him, an eerily familiar feeling washed over him as something moved quickly in the corner of his eye. He turned at just the right moment to see a whip of long hair disappear through the crowd.  But it wasn’t. It couldn’t possibly be. Surely, it was not you.

(chapter 2)

a/n: Hiiii this is the first fic I've posted in about 10 years!! Hope you enjoyed, forgive me if I'm rusty! More chapters to come :)

[httpsserene]

𝖍𝖙𝖙𝖕𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖊’𝖘 1𝖐 𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑 - 𝖙𝖗𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝖑𝖎𝖒𝖎𝖙𝖘

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐬𝐨𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐰𝐨: ��𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫

summary: slightly less innocent, virgin!reader has had her view of pleasure shifted. her libido has increased to insane levels after she finally allowed her boyfriends to fix her…dry spell. charles and max have no issues with helping her ride out her newfound sexual appetite, and figure that she may be ready to take the next step. or, more accurately, take the next hand. content warning: 18+ only. explicit. no penetrative sex. corruption kink. handjobs. thigh riding. praise kink. dom/sub undertones. charles leclerc is a brat. orgasm denial. there's smidge of humor in here somewhere i think. slight humiliation kink. word count: 4.2k words pairing: charles leclerc / max verstappen x fem!black!reader soundtrack: gun • doja cat

preface: AHHHH OMG I HAD THIS IN MY QUEUE AND THE DATE WAS 9/12 INSTEAD OF 12/9 I WAS IN THE WOODS WITH SPOTTY CONNECTION ALL DAY AND I HAVE TBLR NOTIFICATIONS OFF ON MY PHONE I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ALL LIKE IT! ALL FUTURE EPISODES WILL BE POSTED AT 12 PM ON THEIR RELEASE DAYS!

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it’s laughable. you can’t believe that you almost bought a vibrator instead of telling your boyfriends that you were ready to start the sexual aspect of your relationship. actually, it kind of makes you mad—you could’ve been experiencing the most mind blowing levels of pleasure years ago, if you had just gotten over your own insecurity.

max and charles had been dating each other for a couple years before they found you. you were a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend, and they were enamored with you as soon as they were introduced. you cringe whenever they reminisce over the first time you met them—the men think it’s the cutest first meeting ever.

they met you on a yacht in monaco. an older member of the ferrari team was retiring and decided to have a relaxed celebratory brunch on a chartered yacht. charles, of course, would be attending; he’s sure he’s most likely contractually obligated to go, but he also enjoys going to these sorts of events, he flourishes and thrives in social settings. however, on this particular day, max and charles had already planned for a date. 

when charles had been forwarded the invitation from andrea (his trainer), who had texted him threats of bodily harm if he didn’t show up—he whined and groveled to max about having to reschedule their date. max had shushed charles’ dramatics, and simply pulled out his phone to show a text thread between him and brad (his trainer), who sent him the invitation to the yacht party. charles made a noise of surprise; this brunch is more relaxed than he thought. max shrugged and pressed a kiss to charles cheek–all they have to do is make an appearance, greet who needs to be greeted, congratulate who needs to be congratulated, and then they can sneak away and leave early for their date.

that was the plan. and everything seemed to be going according to the plan. they had boarded the vessel (nobody knew the rivals had come together), everyone assumed they had just arrived at the same time. they quickly congratulated the retiree, and charles separated from max to go and charm everybody on the boat, while max had gone to take advantage of the brunch spread.

the dutchman was halfway through his second plate of finger food when charles had returned to his side, bringing their trainers and a few engineers along with him. the monegasque was stealing bites of food off his plate, and max gently tapped on the face of his richard mille watch to remind charles that they needed to start wrapping up. 

except, joris had just boarded the yacht—and you were at his side.

charles choked on his bite of stolen food, and max distractedly patted his back to clear his airways. it was like time slowed down, their vision tunneled, and the noise of conversations around them quieted; at the sight of you. you were wearing this light, flowy, orange sundress that complimented your warm brown skin, accessorized with gold jewlery, a pair of heeled tan sandals, and your curly hair was free and blowing in the breeze. you kept your gaze lowered, like you were fearing making eye contact with anybody on board, and you turned to slightly hide behind joris as you frantically whispered to him.

charles and max had decided then and there; they need to know you.

you had parted from joris at the sound of someone calling for you and the sight of you walking away, broke the trance the two drivers had been under.

when charles’ friend made his way over, they were quick to interrogate him about you, and why exactly he’s never introduced you to them before. joris threatened them before he gave them permission to pursue you (not that they needed it), and refused to answer any of their questions about you. he told them to go talk to you, and warned them to be gentle with you—as you have a more shy and introverted personality. it took nearly thirty minutes for charles and max to find where you disappeared too. you were chatting to the retiree, and as soon as you wrapped up the conversation—max inserted himself in your path, and ‘accidentally’ bumped into you.

you stumbled briefly, finding yourself bumping into charles as well. you frantically apologized to the two drivers, eyes wide with embarrassment—and max and charles found themselves vehemently reassuring you that it was their fault, and that you don’t need to apologize.

once you calmed, max started to test the waters.

“it was completely my fault. i should’ve been paying more attention to where i was walking but, i got distracted—because you look too beautiful in this dress.”

your mouth parted in surprise and you giggled awkwardly, not expecting the compliment (charles had to muffle his snort, max is incredibly corny), “oh! thank you—it’s really the dress that’s beautiful.”

the monegasque stepped in, “ah, no that cannot be. the dress only compliments how pretty you are.”

you hummed, eyes flickering between the two of them nervously, and caved to their flattery.

“mmm, thank you…the orange works with my skin tone pretty well.”

“it does,” max agreed with a soft smile, “i must be your favorite driver—since, you’ve dressed in dutch orange.”

your eyes widened, as you giggled at his bold claim, laughing harder when charles’ pretends to be angry at max’s words. the couple watches as your smile shifted from something sweet, to something teasing as you fumbled over what to say in response.

“oh? well, if i did dress for my favorite driver, it would be lando norris. because, this color is more similar to papaya than your dutch orange.”

max scoffed, and charles bursted out laughing—the two of them not expecting the teasing from you, based on how joris led them to believe that you were the shyest thing to walk on earth. 

that interaction had completely cemented their urge to date you. they ended up staying at the yacht party, just talking to you the entire time, enjoying making you blush and fluster, flirting around the limits of how much affection you could take from them. they missed their dinner reservation, but found themselves taking you out to dinner somewhere near the waterfront. 

at the end of the night, you exchanged phone numbers with them and they sweetly told you that they’d reach out to you for a second date. you had made a noise of surprise, completely disbelieving that you were on a date, or that they’d want to see you again. but, charles and max were quick to make their intentions clear as they realized they may have been moving too quickly for you.

you can’t believe that was over two years ago. the boys had been so kind with working hard for your trust, and with a final conversation about how this relationship would work—you had agreed to be their girlfriend. of course, you had your stipulation of not being ready to have sex, but the boys did take that in stride and didn’t try to coerce you into changing that boundary. matter of fact, they had even offered to stop having sex between the two of them if it made you uncomfortable—which you disagreed with on the spot; they didn’t need to limit their actions with each other just because you needed extra time. 

and extra time, ended up being two years. charles and max had waited two years without complaining once, about the fact that you still weren’t ready to have sex with them. apparently, the final aspects that you needed to realize you were ready to have sex were: being unable to get yourself off for a month while they were in the midst of a triple header…and also that, you trust them with your entire soul. 

and goddamn, did their patience result in a valuable reward.

ever since max and charles had cured your dry spell by giving you the most life-changing orgasm from riding max’s thigh, you’ve been insatiable.

it’s like your horny-meter was struck by lightning and was overloaded and stuck at the highest setting—it feels like a perpetual ovulation week. it feels like you can’t look at max’s thighs without getting wet, it feels like you can’t hold charles’ hand without your knees buckling. it wasn’t like you were never horny before the thigh-riding incident (max finds the title hilarious), but to be consistently desperate—you’ve never felt like this before. it’s like the monegasque and the dutchman have awoken your sex drive and shifted it into high gear. your libido has been so insanely high that the men have pretty much offered themselves to you as free-use.

you wake up horny? choose your fighter: charles’ thigh or max’s thigh. you get turned on by charles kissing your cheek? ride his thigh. your tummy knots up when max calls you pretty girl? ride his thigh. your panties get wet when charles comes back from getting a haircut? ride his thigh. your clothes fall off when max smiles at you? ride his thigh. your brain turns to mush when charles and max make out? ride their thighs, twice.

you’ve been so pleasure-crazed that you ended up getting a friction burn from how often you were using their thighs. 

you whimpered in shame as charles rubbed aloe vera on the irritated skin between your legs.

“vior (see)?” charles said to max, who was sitting on the bed next to you holding your hand, “she has sensitive skin—we should not have let her use our thighs so often.”

“ah,” max dismissed, ignoring your mortified whine, he smirked at charles, “she’s just learned how good we can make her feel—forgive her desperation, schatje?”

charles lightly presses on the inflamed skin, and you slightly hiss in pain. he stares at max with an unimpressed expression, 

“and now feeling good too often has her feeling bad, non?”

charles resumed his gentle massage of aloe vera, as he continued to bicker with max about you, like you weren’t lying right there. mortification had the melanated skin of your cheeks flushing with a visible blush, and you muffled your embarrassed whimper into max’s thigh. the humiliation of your boyfriends discussing your barely-sex related injury as if you aren’t present should have been horny-level reduction material—but secretly, you enjoyed it; just a little bit. 

with a pained gasp, you slammed your thighs shut around charles’ hand when he passed over a more seriously-raw area of skin. his hand was forced up, and it brushed firmly against your cunt—and that previously pained gasp transformed into a moan of pleasure. the conversation around you silenced abruptly. you kept your eyes tightly shut, refusing to pull away from the safe haven of max’s thigh. you heard charles laugh disbelievingly, and with his free hand he easily pulled your thighs apart with little effort. the casual show of strength only had you getting wet. 

he made a show of flexing the hand that was entrapped between your thighs, before he dropped two of his fingers on top of your panties and guided them to circle over your clit through the thin cloth. your eyes flew open, and with a squeal your hips bucked up to chase his hand; but he was too quick, and pulled away, using that same hand to hold your hips down on the bed.

“you’re so horny that you completely forgot about the friction-burn you have on your thighs from your previously extremely horny activities,” max deadpanned, staring down at you with a blank expression.

“i can’t help it,” you murmured shyly, “sorry.”

“don’t apologize,” max stated, releasing his grasp of your hand to brush his thumb across your cheek, “nothing’s touching your cunt for a week.”

“huh? WHAT? why? no—why not?” you blurted out in confusion, ignoring charles’ snort.

“liefje—you could barely handle charles rubbing the gel into your skin; you are too sore and inflamed. no pillows, no hands, no thighs.”

you humphed, knowing max is right, but not wanting to admit it. 

“that’s torture! i just started getting to experience real pleasure and now i can’t even cum for a week?!” you whined up at max with pleading eyes.

“you went without using our thighs for two years—you can handle a week, mon coeur,” charles patted your hip with an annoying smile, before he climbed off the bed to put the gel away.

“charles, don’t tease her,” max sighed, “it’s just a week, pretty girl. you’ll be fine.”

you are not fine.

it’s the slowest time has ever passed in your entire life. honestly, the nerve of your boyfriends to have beautifully muscled thighs around you. you’ve been put in horny jail–seriously! the two men seem to have a radar for whenever you start to get turned on. no matter how hard you try to suppress any changes in your body language or facial expression, they sus you out in a few seconds. it’s uncanny; before you even open your mouth to try and persuade them into anything, they squish your cheeks together and say, “not yet,” and then walk away to give you space to calm down. every instance of this in the first couple of days was more mortifying than the aloe-vera gel application situation (which max now applies for you since charles couldn’t refrain from teasing you), but you quickly became desensitized.

max will not budge. he lets you whine, grovel, beg, promise, and plead. he sits through your whole monologue of desperation on day four, and smiles the entire time. when you finish your expertly delivered request to be allowed one orgasm from his thigh, he pats you on the ass and walks away. the amount of rage that filled you was probably unhealthy–how the fuck does he manage to be so unfazed?

charles, on the other hand, you could break. on day five, you trapped him in bed, sneakily convincing him to spend five more minutes with you while max brushed his teeth. you were quick to initiate sweet kisses, humming into the press of his lips, before you pull away and squirm on top of him to straddle his torso. 

the love-tinted haze cleared from his eyes as soon a he puzzled out your motive, and the monegasque moved to guide you off his body, but you halted him, pressing a firm hand in the middle of his bare chest. 

“c’mon cha–just let me, it’s been so long,” you pout down at him, doe-eyes wide and pleading, “don’t you wanna make me feel good?”

charles wavered–it has been so long. he doesn’t think he’d forget how your face looks as you orgasm, but it would be nice to see it again. you slowly grind your hips down on his, and charles manages to hold back any noises, but his eyes flutter in pleasure. the brunet halts your hips when he sees the brief flicker of discomfort appear in the furrow of your brows.

“ah, regarde toi (look at you)!” charles tuts disapprovingly, “you know you aren’t ready, just wait a little longer!”

you climb off of his lap, and bury your face in the pillow next to him, muffling a dramatic scream to make sure he knows how displeased you are. he rubs your back soothingly, letting you release your anger, before you flip over and huff.

“fine–whatever. two more days. two more days…for me,” you murmur, ignoring charles’ squint at your words, “just because i can’t do anything doesn’t mean you two can’t, right?”

charles shrugs his agreement, “yes, i guess. we haven’t came since you can’t. we were just planning to wait for your skin to recover.”

your heart warms at their abstinence, and the gears of your brain start turning. 

“hmm. you know you don’t have to wait for me? i kind of got myself into this situation and it’s not fair for–”

“no. max and i are both responsible too,” charles cut you off, “we should’ve taken more care to make sure you weren’t pushing yourself too far.”

“i don’t blame you guys–i was jumping the two of you everytime you so much as breathed in the same room as me. but, that’s not the point! i was going to say: shouldn’t i thank you guys properly?” 

“quoi? how?” he tilted his head to the side in question.

“i mean, isn’t it time i learn how to make you feel good too? i’ve kind of taken advantage of you, and never thought about making sure you guys feel good, like me.”

“how can you say that, mon amour? you make us feel good everytime we make you feel good,” charles sees that you don’t quite believe him, “you don’t notice how tight our pants get when you sit on our thighs? after you’ve finished, we sneak away to the bathroom to relieve ourselves! trust me, we feel very good with you.”

“hey! that’s my point–i want to make you guys…cum,” you whispered, “not have you sneak away to go do it yourself. can’t you teach me? isn’t now the best time for me to learn when i can’t be distracted by my own orgasm?”

“as long as you avoid rubbing yourself on anything, i’m actually okay with this,” max’s voice carried from the doorway, causing you and charles to jump in surprise. neither of you heard him open the en-suite door.

the dutchman walked over and sat on the bed next to charles, who eagerly supported your suggestion now that max said it was okay. 

“c-can…can we do it now?” you asked quietly, simultaneously afraid of a possible rejection and the idea itself.

the younger man hummed, and sat up next to max. he smirked at the blonde, “i’m sure he can’t say no to the opportunity of having me teach you how to touch him just the way he likes.”

you may have miscalculated, to some degree. does everything about max have to big? big mouth, big hands, big thighs, big…dick. your brain stops functioning at the sight—max sitting with his back against the headboard, legs spread open comfortably, uncaring of how exposed he is, his cock half-hard and still growing where it rests on his thigh, and don’t forget his self-satisfied smirk at the sight of your shock. you squirm from your seat in between his legs and charles steadies you from his position behind you, bracketing your body within the two of them.

the monegasque shifts forward, hooking his chin on your shoulder with his chest pressed along your back, and hums softly, “all of that ,” charles pauses and moves his right hand to apply pressure on your navel, “is going to be deep inside of you soon.”

“ ‘s not gonna fit in me.”

“we’ll make it fit,” max states. you whimpered at his confident tone, and you could feel charles muffle his chuckle in the crook of your neck. 

the click of the lube bottle opening caused you to flinch back into charles, who soothed you with a pat on the hip. the brunet carefully squeezed out a small amount of lube into your right palm and murmured instructions for you to warm up the liquid. he then guided your hand to grasp max’s dick, who sighed softly at your touch.

“touch him however you want, mon ange,” the monegasque directed, “get used to how he feels and then we can make him feel good.”

swallowing down your apprehension, you lightly trace a finger down his shaft, marveling at how he’s a few of your fingers in girth and decently longer than the size of your hand (that’s definitely not fitting inside of you, they have no idea what they’re talking about). you drag the tip of your pointer finger up along the vein on his underside to the head of his cock. the tip is flushed with an attractive shade of pink complimenting the pale skin of his body, and it’s a beautiful contrast to the brown skin on the back of your hand. you wrap your palm around him gently and brush your thumb over the head, making a noise of surprise at his cock twitching in your grasp. a drop of pre-cum beads in the slit and you curiously drag a finger to collect it; you pause, before you bring your finger to your mouth and flick out your tongue to taste it.

it almost tastes like nothing? slightly bitter, a little salty—but, it’s good. he tastes good. 

max groans and the sound of his head falling back and hitting the headboard reminds you that the cock you’re feeling up is attached to him. 

a broken rasp of, “fuck,” slips from his lips, and charles kisses your cheek in approval.

“ah-you’re so good at this already, mon amour,” charles cheered, “let’s give him a hand, together.”

he brings his left hand around your body to join yours around max’s, and leads you through the motions. he starts you on half strokes, having you circle your hand around the head, while he focuses on mimicking your motions around the base. you can see the muscles of max’s abdomen and thighs clenching with the effort of not thrusting forward into your hand.

“shit,” max moans, “the two of you will be the death of me.”

charles nips a mark right behind you ear, “move your hand like this—oui, just like that—and press your palm around the head—good girl—just keep doing that for me, mon amor.”

max groans roughly at the focused attention on the sensitive tip of his dick; he’s going to come embarrassingly quickly. the sight of charles teaching you how to give him a proper handjob is going to keep him up at night.

“liefje, you’re doing such a good job,” max pants, “going to make come already, pretty girl—are you going to lick my cum off your fingers too?”

you moan highly at his words, nodding your head quickly in agreement, eager to keep being good for him. max continues to run his mouth as he gets closer to orgasm: ‘you and charles should taste the cum off your hand together,’ ‘he can’t wait to get his hands and mouth on you,’ etc.

with a stuttered breath, max warns you that he’s cumming—and charles yanks your hand off of him; ruining max’s orgasm. the dutchman shouts in frustration, his hips bucking up freely now, trying to chase the delicious friction that was stolen from him.

with flushed cheeks, max yells, “what the fuck, charles!” and you turn to look at charles, who’s sitting behind you with an extra-pleased smirk on his face. the brat shrugs nonchalantly, not offering an explanation. you bring your hand back to grasp max’s cock—and repeat the same motion of twisting your palm around the head, to lead max back to an orgasm. he moans in relief, thankfully the edge of release didn’t slip away from him entirely—and then you bring your other hand up to make up for charles’. 

all it takes is a few more synced strokes, and max cums. you feel the warmth of his release coat your fingers, but your eyes are stuck on his expression. his mouth parted slightly, eyes shut, his chest heaving, mouth red and flushed from where he was biting at his bottom lip, and you can see the pleasure washing over his face—goddamn, you wish you were feeling what he is. in the haze of appreciating how he looks when he comes, you fail to stop your hands from continuing your motions and max’s hands fly down to halt you once the pleasure slips into too-much.

when he makes eye-contact with you, you raise your cum-covered hand to your mouth and make a show out of tasting his cum. you moan sweetly and smack your lips—honestly, you don’t particularly like or dislike the taste, but the way max’s eyes widen at your display makes you think you’ll learn to love it. he watches you lick your hands clean, and murmurs out a faint, “what the actual hell, liefje.”

“and, you,” the older man’s expression hardens as he directs his cold gaze on charles, “we’re not touching you for two weeks.”

“por quoi?!,” the monegasque pretends as if he doesn’t know exactly what he did.

you and max both ignore charles’ whining, and you smile extra sweetly at max as you wiggle onto his lap, “may i use your thigh, please?”

he digs his thumb into the sensitive skin of your thigh, and you yelp lightly. 

“two more days, liefje,” max orders, “and if you’re patient, you can have more than just my thigh.”

1k special taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool@barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz @vetteltea @dreamingofautopia @jayswifee @megatrilss1885 @nanamilkbread @sophia12345678 @benstormy @userlandonorris@xxniallxxsworld @starfusionsworld@hangmandruigandmav @spicybagel14 @ggaslyp1 @idontgotopartiesanymore @woozarts @yourlilitha @smartstupyd

© httpsserene2023

[the-s1lly-corner]

HH characters crushing on the reader 1/3

If the character you want isnt here it will likely be in future parts unless I simply dont write for them!

Characters: Charlie, Vaggie, Angel Dust, Sir Pentious, Husk

Notes: reader is GN for everyone EXCEPT vaggie and angel, reader is masc for angel, reader is fem for vaggie, post mainly focuses on the canon characters

CWs: none

CHARLIE

Oh this poor girl, she's so obvious when she has a crush for someone. She already goes above and beyond for nearly everyone to make sure their needs and comforts are accommodated- but when it comes to you she goes even further! she might even become a little suffocating if you dont set some boundaries... i can see her trying to shoot her shot and doing that awkward laugh with the finger guns if her pickup line goes over your head. shes doing her best... confesses her feelings pretty fast and shes very understanding if you dont return her feelings... very obvious and giddy around you!

VAGGIE

Internalizes a lot of her feelings, especially... these ones... she becomes a little short with you. Not in a mean way, conversations just become more... tense, awkward, short. She doesn't know what to say and she doesn't want to blow it. I don't think she would avoid you, though. I don't think she would outright flirt with you, but she would say some stuff to try to read you if she should go forward with her advances. If you give her signals, expect a confession soon. Otherwise it's likely she's just going to eat her feelings and make herself move on.

ANGEL DUST

It should go without saying that he's going to make his feelings for you very obvious.... though is it obvious if it's hard to tell between his usual behavior and the signals he's trying to show you? Sure he could tone down his innuendos and invitations, and be real around you... but if this prior to Husk getting through to him... it's not very likely. Unless you're already close to him. A lot of the flirting he sends your way is a lot more personalized, more in tune with you as a person rather than something that can be said to just anyone or just to you in passing. He puts thought into it. It's going to take a close eye to differentiate actually feelings from his usual activities.

SIR PENTIOUS

Just like Charlie, he's very obvious. But no where near as smooth... He might just blurt out his feelings before he's ready to confess, and that's assuming you haven't already put the pieces together in your head! Hovers around you any chance he gets to hang out with you and does anything he can to try to impress you. He's so eager for your attention that it's a little.. pathetic... he does remember every little thing you say, though. It doesn't matter how small it is, it's going to bounce around in his head for eternity. Especially if it can give him ideas of things to make for you as a gift for when he's ready to confess to you.

HUSK

Another one who internalizes his feelings. He won't try to bring up the topic, and I feel between all the characters I'm going to end up writing for... the only reason he would end up telling you how he feels is if he gets backed into a corner or you just outright ask him. He's not going to make a fool of himself and lie right to your face if you ask him. But how does he act? He might drink a little more than he already does and become more reclusive. He doesn't outright shut you out but you can tell that there's something going on with him.

[moody-alcoholic]

Chapter 4 - The Stalker

Summary: 5.2k words. 141 learn about your stalker situation and Simon makes a plan to help, but things escalate faster then expected and you end up having to come to terms with things a lot quicker then you expect.

CW: mentions of trauma, mental health, abusive ex, stalking, talking about physical abuse, alcohol, angst, hurt/comfort (kinda).

Previous - masterlist - Next

AO3

Enjoy <3

“Let’s debrief, then maybe you will get some answers.” John says standing up straight. 

“How did the Renfolds job go?” He asks looking over at Simon. 

“Easy, needed his weapon cleaning. Built a shooting range in his basement.” Simon explains. 

“Anything we should be concerned about?” John asks. 

“Don’t think so, seems like it’s just for personal use.” Simon says. John looks down at you. 

“What do you think?” You look up at John confused. He want’s your opinion? 

“I-I don’t know, I was a bit distracted by the guns, and the shooting range.” And how good Simon looked. John nods looking over at Johnny. 

“What happened with you?” He asks. 

“Well it was all going according to plan until the supposedly empty building was no longer empty.” Johnny explained smiling.

“You were only supposed to be gathering intel how did it end in a gunfight?” John asked. 

“They didn’t take kindly to me snooping around their stuff.” Johnny says shrugging. “You should have sent Ghost in.” 

“I needed you to confirm the cargo. I gave Ghost the Renfolds job so he’d be near by.” John explained. Johnny nodded. 

“Well they’ve got enough explosives in that place to blow London to pieces.” 

“Is it secure?” John asks.

“About as secure as it can be, I found shipping manifests, I assume they’re planning on moving it when they get the chance.” Johnny explains.

“Hang on a second.” You interrupt. “You had a gunfight in a building with enough explosives to blow up London?” Simon chuckles behind you. 

“Johnny’s being dramatic. But yes unfortunately we weren’t left with much of a choice.” John says. He looks over at Johnny and Gaz for a second. 

“Johnny, and Gaz go back tomorrow secure the place then hand it over to the Met. The quicker we can get everything destroyed the better.” John says as you watch Johnny and Kyle nod. 

“The Met? As in New Scotland Yard as in the metropolitan police?” You ask. John nods. 

“It’s expensive for the Met to plan a sting, collect the legal evidence, wait for warrants. When we can just sneak in and get all the evidence they need and maybe even shut it down for them. We’re cheaper too.” John explains.

“So you work for the Met?” You ask. You hear Simon laugh again. 

“No, we don’t work for anyone, but sometimes they ask for our help and we’re usually more then happy to oblige.” 

“Besides means they turn a blind eye when we make people disappear.” Johnny laughs winking at you. You can’t tell if he’s being serious or not. There’s a few seconds of silence before everyone turns to you. 

“You said you were recommended us, why?” John asks. You suddenly feel nervous, you start rubbing your hands together. They’ve cleared up somethings now it’s your turn. 

“I have an ex.” You say looking down at the floor. Great start. 

“We broke up about a month ago, it was messy. I don’t think he’s quite over it yet.” You remember the break up. It was messy, in multiple ways. Lot’s of shouting, screaming, the police being called. You hoped it would be the last time you’d ever have to explain away bruises. You locked him out your flat and he sat outside the door begging to be let back in. How sorry he was, eventually you caved letting him fearing your neighbours would report you to the police for noise disturbance. It was the worst decision you made.

You feel a hand on your shoulder pulling you out of you head. You look up Johnny has moved closer to you. It’s Simon’s hand on your shoulder, you almost can’t believe it, he gives you a gentle squeeze. You thought he hated you. Or at the very least was annoyed by your presence. Maybe you misjudged him. 

“Is he stalking you lass?” Johnny asks. You don’t know what to say, you don’t exactly have proof just a feeling. You can’t get all worked up over a feeling. You know he’s been trying to contact you, creating accounts on social media to message you to the point where you needed to deactivate all your accounts. You know he’s been finding your number every time you change it, and you know he’s in contact with your family.

“He just won’t leave me alone. I think it’s making me paranoid. He keeps getting my number every time I change it. He managed to get a key to my flat after I kicked him out. I came home one day to find him moved back in. He..” You stop yourself. They didn’t need to know how that story ends. Simon's hand is warm on your shoulder, you don’t want it to leave. You sigh looking up. 

“I don’t have proof, if that’s you want it’s just a stupid feeling.” You say looking at John. 

“When was the last time he contacted you?” John asks.

“Saturday.” You say, John hums his eyes flick up to Simon. You look over at Johnny and Kyle, they’re leaned forward in the sofa looking at you. 

“I’m assuming this relationship was not the best?” Simon asks. You shake your head. He squeezes your shoulder again then his hand leaves. 

“C’mon, lets have a chat.” He says. You get up confused. All of a sudden he wants to talk? You follow him and he takes you into John’s office, closing the door behind you. 

“Sit,” he says pointing at the sofa in the corner of the room. He drags over one of the chairs and sits in front of you. There is a coffee table between you both, you look at him as he leans forward in the chair. 

“I thought maybe you would like some privacy.” He says. You sigh and go back to rubbing your hands. 

“Let’s start easy. What’s his name?” Simon asks. 

“Joe, Joe Sharp.” You say. 

“How long were you together?” 

“3 years, we lived together for 2, that’s when things changed when he moved in.” You say, hanging your head again. 

“Abusive?” He asks. You nod.

“Physical, verbal?” You nod again. You hear him sigh. 

“Why do you think he’s stalking you?” He asks you look up at him. His eyes are soft, kind. Even the way he’s holding his body, he’s like a different person. 

“I don’t know I think I’m just paranoid, he’s been so desperate to keep in contact with me that I think I just over think everything. I feel like I see him when I’m sure he’s not there. I feel like I’m being followed whenever I’m alone. The nightmares about him breaking into my flat don’t help.” You stop yourself. 

“It sounds stupid when I say it out loud.” 

“It’s not stupid.” Simon says. “Hey look at me.” You look up at him. 

“It’s not stupid. You would be surprised how many times people think they’re being stalked only to find out their intuition was correct.” He says. You nod. 

“First things first though we need proof.”

“I don’t have any.” You admit. He nods. 

“That’s okay, the best way to get a stalker out is to make them jealous. Do you have social media, Facebook, Instagram? Whatever one people use now-a-days.” 

“I’ve deactivated them but I can get them back.” You say reaching for your phone. He nods.

“Make a post, something along the lines of ‘I’m so happy in my new relationship.’ If you want to make it extra believable I can hold your hand you can take a picture?” He says, raising an eyebrow. You nod and he gets up moving next to you on the sofa. He lays his hand out palm up and you slip your fingers between his. His hands are big, and soft. Not what you were expecting. It sends shivers down your spine. It’s the first time you’ve held anyone's hand since your ex.

This is not the same though, this is not romantic. Why does it feel so nice though. You bring your phone up and snap the picture. Looking up at him, his eyes look deep into yours, he has such beautiful eyes. You look away taking your hand out his so you can get back to typing. You pick Instagram, it’s most likely the one he would check the most. You type it out and attach the photo. 

“Should I unblock his accounts?” You ask nervously. 

“It would be helpful, you can always block him again after.” He says. You hover over the post button. You turn to look at Simon. 

“You don’t have to do this but trust me it’s the easiest and quickest way to bait him out.” Simon says. You take a deep breath in and post it. 

“Good now we wait.” Simon says getting up. You follow putting your phone back in your pocket. 

“What do I do?” You ask. 

“Get on with your day act like everything is normal. I’ll give you my number. He tries to contact you, you think you see him, you get a feeling that he’s following you, anything. You call me immediately.” His voice is commanding, he’s looking you in the eyes. It’s not hairs standing up on the back of your neck anymore it’s a new feeling, like a warmth deep within you. You swallow hard handing him your phone so he can put his number in. You take it back putting it back in your pocket. 

“Simon, I can’t afford to hire you guys, I heard you’re pretty pricey.” You say as he turns to leave the room. 

“Don’t worry about that.” He says. That doesn't exactly put you at ease but it’s better then them demanding payment. They’re helping you, they don’t need to. Besides what if you’re wrong and it is all just your paranoid mind playing tricks on you. Then you’ve just wasted their time. You try to push the thoughts away, especially now you’ve basically just kicked the hornets nest. 

When you get back out Simon explains the situation without going into too much detail. He tells Johnny to walk you home. This time when you go to protest you’re shut down by John who insists it’s necessary. You don’t argue it’s been a long day. You let Johnny take you home, he keeps you at ease, back to his bubbly self as he spouts off more stories from his army days. He keeps your mind occupied, you’re not constantly looking over your shoulder. 

“You know you did good today. Most people would have freaked out.” Johnny says once you reach the building. 

“I don’t know if I’ve processed it really yet.” You say chuckling. He nods.

“Well you have my number if you need anything.” He says. 

“Thanks, you take care of that arm.” You say. 

“‘Cause lass it’ll be good as new by tomorrow.” He says patting you on the shoulder then turns to leave. 

—————————— 

By the evening you had calmed down and you were sat watching TV. You couldn’t help but think back to holding Simon’s hand. You find yourself opening your phone and checking the picture. It was a nice picture even though you only snapped it quickly. God were you really that lonely that holding someones hand is enough to have you craving touch. You smile anyway letting yourself enjoy the feeling. It had been a while since you could imagine yourself being touched, or held like that again, let alone falling in love. Maybe this was healing, maybe the dark thoughts bought on with receiving any amount off affection were gone. It’s not long before the peacefulness of the moment is shattered by a sharp knock at the door. You panic almost instantly, holding your breath. 

“Babe it’s me.” You freeze as he knocks again. You look down at your phone, your fingers working their way to your contact list. You can’t think. Maybe he’ll think you’re out. You crawl off the sofa to the TV and the light to turn them off as the phone rings. 

“Hello.” It’s Simon’s voice, it snaps you back into reality. You can still hear him calling at the door. You crawl into the bedroom leaning up against the bed.  

“H-He’s at my door Simon.” You say hearing your voice break. 

“Okay where are you in the living room?” He asks, you can hear keys jingling down the phone. 

“Bedroom.” You say as quiet as you can so you’re sure he won’t be able to hear you. 

“Okay, I’m on my way can you stay were you are?” He says as you hear a car door close. You’re too scared to move, even if you wanted too. 

“Yeah, I-I’m staying here.” You say. The knocking has stopped but you’re sure you can still hear his feet shuffling outside. 

“I’m going to hang up now but I’ll be there soon okay.” 

“Okay.” You reply back tears are streaming down your cheeks now. You hear the call end and you clutch the phone. 

“Baby, we need to talk. Are you seeing someone else? Is he here now?” You hear him say, there’s an edge to his voice, something you haven’t herd in ages, it’s anger. You want to scream, yell at him to go away but you’re still trying to cling on to the fact he might not know you’re in. You sit there for what feels like hours hugging your legs. Eventually after a few more pleas and knocks it goes silent and stays silent.

Your heart is pounding in your chest and you feel sick. Where is Simon? It’s hard to keep track of time. You start spiralling, thinking of the worst possible things. This was the first time he has been back to the flat since you had the locks changed. That was almost 4 weeks ago. This is the closest he has been to you since you broke up with him. It felt too close. Like not even a deadbolt on the door or changing the locks could stop him. There is another knock at the door. You freeze again almost want to scream at him to leave. Why is he here why is he back? 

“It’s me, it’s Simon.” For a second you don’t believe it what if it’s a trick? No you called him and now he’s here. You force yourself to stand up walking over to the front door still clutching your phone in your hand. You unlock the dead bolt, then the lock, then open the handle. You see him standing there, you look round there is definitely no one else around now. He steps inside and you go through your routine of closing all the locks and covering the peephole. He looks around your tiny flat then turns to you.

“You okay?” he asks. You nod, it’s a lie but you don’t care he’s here now and that makes you feel safe. 

“Did you see him?” You ask, he shakes his head. He walks around your flat quickly, looking into the bedroom then walks back over to you. 

“I’ll stay the night, if that’s alright with you?” He asks. You don’t really know how to respond to that. This is the first time you have had a man in your flat since the break up. He dropped everything to come when you needed him. You feel safe around him but you don’t know him. You want to get to know him though. And you definitely don't want to be alone. 

“You can stay.” You say, swallowing the lump in your throat. He nods. 

“You sure you’re okay?” He asks frowning. You don’t want to lie again but you weren't expecting him to ask again. Tears threaten to spill down your cheeks and you force yourself to choke them away. 

“Sit down, I’ll get you a drink.” He says, turning into your kitchen. You walk over to the couch and sit down. 

“There’s wine in the fridge.” You say. 

“Lets start with water.” He replies as you hear the tap run. You pull your legs up to your chest. Simon comes over and hands you the glass then sits on the far end of the sofa. You sip the water as you both sit in silence. 

“Did he say anything?” Simon asks. 

“Just the usual, he misses me, he’s sorry, asked if it was true that I was seeing someone.” You say taking another sip of water. You look over at Simon his eyes scanning over you. It’s starting to get dark out but you don’t want to put the lights on worried he’ll see them and come back. 

“Are you hungry?” You ask Simon. 

“I ate at home.” He says. You nod looking at yourself in the black of the TV. You reach over and turn it on to whatever mindless show you were watching before. Simon doesn't say anything sometimes you catch him looking over at you out the corner of your eye. You order some food and something for Simon too, if he wants it. Even though you’re expecting it the doorbell ringing still makes you jump.

“I got it.” Simon says and before you can protest he’s on his feet. 

“One of them is for you.” You say as he passes you the pizza boxes. 

“Thank you,” he says taking one of the boxes and going back to his spot on the sofa. You get up to the kitchen.

“Want a drink?” You ask. 

“Waters fine.” You nod even though he can’t see you. You head back to the couch with the drinks. He smiles at you when you place his drink down on the coffee table. You sit there in silence demolishing your pizza then sipping on your wine till your head starts to clear. You’re not really paying attention to what’s playing on the TV, your mind is preoccupied with the fact Simon is sat in your flat with you eating pizza. Any other situation and this could be classed as a date. The only thing missing is the cuddling and the cheesy chick-flick.

“What made you want to do this? Help me out?” You ask looking over at him. He pauses for a second like he’s thinking of what to say. 

“I don’t like abusers, especially those who don’t know when to stop.” He says turning back to the TV. Okay that’s something you have to be careful about your next questions. 

“What made you want to join the military?” You ask, that seems like a pretty easy question. 

“To do some good.” He says, you’re not sure if that’s the whole reason but hey you’re talking, he’s not shutting you down. 

“Where are you from? You’re not from London.” You say sipping your wine. 

“Manchester. Ever been?” He asks looking at you. 

“No, the furthest north I’ve been is Birmingham.” 

“That’s unfortunate.” He says, you see a little smile on his lips. 

“What about you? You lived in London all your life?” He asks. 

“Yeah, Sutton, till I moved here.” You say.

“It’s a nice place.” He says looking round the flat, it’s dark now only the TV to light up the place.

“I’m thinking of moving, when I can afford another deposit.” You say looking down at your glass of wine. 

“Why?” he asks. 

“You know, fresh start, away from-” You stop yourself drinking the last of your wine and getting up. You pick up the empty pizza boxes. Taking them into the kitchen. You don’t even hear Simon getting up off the sofa you just accidentally back into him. You can feel his chest up against your back, it’s warm, strong, you almost want him to wrap his arms around you. His hands end up on your shoulders and your breath catches in your throat.

“I’ll make sure you’re not afraid to live in your own flat. I promise.” He says, his voice low, his grip on your shoulders soft, but firm. You feel heat rushing to your cheeks, you don’t want to move there’s that feeling again the craving of physical contact. You feel safe when he’s around like you’d trust him with your life. You let out a breath as he moves his hands from your shoulders and steps back. You feel cold suddenly, a shiver runs down your spine. You turn to look at him, you meet his eye line, his eyes are soft almost glazed over as he looks at you.

“Simon, why are you helping me?” You ask again, maybe he’ll give you a different answer. His hand reaches up slowly and you almost flinch, holding your breath as he tucks a strand of hair behind your ear. His eyes scan your face. 

“Did he ever, hit you?” He asks quietly. You nod, not being able to bring yourself to speak. His thumb brushes your cheek. 

“Choke you?” He asks, his hand resting on your chin. You swallow hard your throat feeling suddenly constricted. 

“You don’t have to answer.” He says. You force yourself to nod. 

“You said he came back after you kicked him out. He got a key and let himself in.” He says. You nod. 

“What happened?” He says gently holding your chin so you can’t look down. You open your mouth but words don’t come out. He lets go of your chin taking a step away to give you some space. Maybe this is what you need to do, to get this off your chest. Will it make you feel better? Maybe? But Simon’s giving you the opportunity to talk. You look down at your hands, forcing yourself to hold back the tears swallowing the lump in your throat. 

“He tried to kill me.” You say finally. It doesn’t feel like a weight off your shoulders, it feels like a punch to the gut. The guilt comes next. Why didn’t you report him? Why didn’t you get a restraining order? Why did you let it happen? You feel sick, your head spinning. You look back up at Simon, there is something different in his expression now. Does he understand? Does he even care? This morning you thought he hated you, now he’s in your flat, he’s not the same Simon you met a few days ago who would barely give you the time of day.

He’s here because you called him for help. He put’s a foot forward almost like he’s trying to test if he can step closer to you. You keep still and he takes that as permission to step to you. His hand cups your face in his warm hands and you look up at him. 

“I'm doing this because you don’t deserve it, that’s why I’m helping you. The torment, the guilt, the sleepless nights. I can’t make it go away but I can try and help.” He says. A tear rolls down your cheek, he brushes it away with his thumb. 

“You sound like you know what it’s like.” You say, trying not to let your voice break. 

“I do,” He sighs, his hands dropping from your face. He turns walking back to the sofa. 

“You should take the bed, you’re bigger it’ll be more comfortable.” You say, you don’t mind sleeping on the sofa at least you’ll fit. 

“Don’t be silly this is your place, your bed.” He says sitting back down on the sofa. You walk into the bedroom brushing away the rest of the tears that managed to escape as you dig through the wardrobe for blankets and pillows. You take them back out to him and place them on the sofa. You don’t know what to say, he’s sat watching the TV, you feel tired, drained. 

“You should get some rest.” He says without looking at you. You nod, turning to head back into the bedroom. 

“If you need anything, just let me know.” You say before you go through the door closing it behind you. You let out a breath, maybe this was healing? You just don’t know it yet. You change into your PJ’s and climb into bed. You can see the moonlight peaking through the blinds lighting up the room. Simon knows what it’s like. Maybe you should have asked him about ex’s. Or maybe it wasn’t his ex. You remember the way he reacted when you asked about his family. You wonder if he still talks to them.

You turn over in the bed looking at the door. It feels weird knowing he’s on the other side. Maybe you should crack the door open, it might make you feel better. You want to feel his hands on you again, squeezing your shoulder or touching your face. He’s gentle, not want you were expecting. You let out a breath and swing your feet out the bed before your brain has really even comprehended what you’re doing. This is a bad idea. He’s a work colleague, this could ruin everything. 

“Simon.” You say as soon as you open the door. He turns to look at you. 

“Will you come lay with me?” You’ve done it now, your cheeks flood with heat as you wait for a laugh, a scoff, him to straight up tell you no.

“You want me to lay with you, in your bed?” He asks sitting forward. You nod, then immediately start regretting it.

“Forget it, it doesn’t matter I’m sorry-”

“It’s okay, I will.” He says stopping you in your tracks and standing up. You stare at him as he turns the TV off walking over to you. You watch as he pulls his boots off leaving them by the front door. 

“If it’s what you want.” He says meeting your eye line. You nod, your heart thumping in your chest. You walk back into the bedroom, and he follows.

“You want me under or on top of the covers?” He asks. You hadn’t even thought about it.

“On top.” He says watching your hesitation. He waits until you get into bed and are comfy before he sits on the other side. You lie down watching him, he’s slow as he swings his legs over almost like he’s trying not to spook you. It doesn’t feel weird. You thought it would having another man in your bed.

It was more weird seeing him in your living room for the first time then right now. Maybe you’re just used to him. Maybe you really do trust him. Maybe you judged him too harshly. He turns on his side looking at you. You move your arm  out from under the covers, you want to touch him, maybe he wouldn’t like that though. You place it down instead. 

“Do you get nightmares?” You ask. 

“All the time.” He replies.

“About your time as a soldier?” 

“And other things.” He says. You sigh. 

“Tell me about how you met Price, and Johnny and Kyle.” You see a smile form on his lips. 

“On one condition.” He says shuffling his body down so his head is level with yours. 

“What?” you ask.

“Promise me no nightmares tonight.” You chuckle. 

“I can’t control that.” 

“Promise.” He says raising an eyebrow. 

“Okay I promise.” You say sighing, even though it’s completely out of your control. His hand moves back up to your face brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“I’ll leave when you fall asleep.” He promises. You try to argue with him telling him the bed is comfier then the sofa but he won’t have it. You relent feeling tired, you try to clear your mind and not think about anything just listen to Simon talk about how he met everyone. His voice is calming, his presence puts you at ease. You wish he could stay. You don’t remember falling asleep but that night you dream about him. Good dreams, you’re on a date. Christ you’re falling for him.

—————————— 

You wake to the sun peaking through the bedroom blinds. Simon is not in the room anymore. You slip out of bed and head into the living room. He’s already awake sat at the kitchen table, flicking through a tablet. 

“Morning,” You say walking over to him. 

“Morning,” he replies turning the tablet off. 

“How long have you been awake?” You ask clicking the kettle on. 

“An hour or so.” He says, rubbing his neck.

“I told you you should have taken the bed.” You say taking out two mugs. “Tea?” 

“Please, one sugar.” He says. You think back to last night him lying in the bed with you. You could have swore you felt his hands touching you, brushing your cheek, your hair. Maybe that was just part of the dream. It was a good dream. The best dream you’ve had in months. This is the first time in years you felt safe in your own flat. The click of the kettle snaps you back to reality and you pour the tea’s bringing them over to the table. 

“What were you looking at?” You ask gesturing at the tablet.

“Today's jobs.” Oh shit work! Your head snaps round looking at the clock on the wall it’s all ready 10am. 

“Shit!” You say pushing your chair back. Simon grabs your wrist, you panic. He imminently lets go when your head snaps back to him wide eyed. 

“I called Price, told him we were taking the morning off.” You take a breath in and sit back down, sipping your tea to calm your nerves. He watches you like he’s trying to see how you’re going to react. You smile at him, letting him know you’re okay.

He picks up his mug taking a sip. You’re about to ask him what he want’s to do this morning when there is a crash in the living room. It’s so loud it makes you shriek. Your body snaps round in the chair as you look at the shattered glass now all over the living room. You go to stand up.

“Stay there.” Simon says his hand on your shoulder pushing you back down as he heads over to the balcony door. He goes out looking over the balcony up and down. Leaning round the corners. You guess he doesn't see anything, you can’t think all you can feel is your heart rapidly beating in your chest. He comes back in closing the door and walks round the flat looking for something till he finds it. He picks it up it’s a brick with a letter tied to it. He takes the letter off the brick and opens it, something falls out on the floor and he picks it up. You’re holding your breath, as Simon walks back over to you. It looks like he’s looking through a stack of photos. He places them on the table.

“Well now we have proof.” He says standing next to you as you fan the photo’s out. It’s pictures of you, from yesterday, a few days ago, when you went shopping on Sunday. There are even pictures of you inside your flat. Your head snaps to the window trying to even see where he could have even snapped them from. Panic builds inside you as you continue to look over the photos. Is this a threat? What does this mean? You look up at Simon who’s reading the letter that came with the photos. 

“What does it say?” You ask him, but you really don’t know if you want to know. 

“Let’s just say he’s not happy.” Simon says looking down at you. You didn’t even realise you are gripping his shirt. Maybe this plan was a bad idea.

Next

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[daemonmage]

A Stupid Batfam AU

Jason’s and Bruce’s rocky relationship is actually a pr move to make sure the rest of the batfam doesn’t get attacked by reporters and gcpd.

Essentially Red Hood, while liked by the Crime Alley citizens and other citizens as well, has a pretty bad reputation with a lot of the rest of the city. The GCPD hate him for his overt violence and the head incident. The Media hates him cause he’s what they all feared Batman would become and are constantly creating news stories on him. A lot of the other citizens are just scared of him cause sometimes his temper gets out of control. It’s not the best reputation.

Bruce and Jason have long since talked and settled their differences. Well, it’s more of a “I don’t approve of your methods but I will acknowledge you as a person who wants to help, but I will still dislike the guns. Also I missed you” from Bruce and “I’m not happy with a lot of your decisions but I also understand why you came to those decisions. I’m still mad but I now know that you missed me and I missed you too” from Jason. They’re better than they were originally and honestly that’s all they could hope for. Jason visits the manor more and is having fun being brothers to Dick and Tim.

Here’s the thing though… his reputation as Red Hood may have accidentally spread to the other Bats. A few team ups here and there (and the red bat on his chest) have made everyone assume that Batman is now working with Red Hood, a known crime lord. The media and GCPD were on them like flies on shit. Jim tries to calm down the gcpd with mixed results, but he can’t stop the media from blowing this out of proportion. It’s like the news channels from Dark Knight Returns, but worse.

Jason, who just got his family back, is fucking pissed. Jason is also dramatic as hell. Bruce was willing to just deal with this, but Tim is too new at this to be caught in the crossfire. Bruce was just gonna bench him out of fear until things calm down (he’s dealt with this before) but Jason brings up his plan to Bruce. Bruce isn’t as dramatic as Jason, however he is still absolutely dramatic. He agrees. So begins an epic fight between two ideals that ends two vigilantes at each other’s throats constantly.

Red Hood and Batman fight any time they are together, Red Hood is arrested by Batman on multiple occasions, and Red Hood always escapes leaving terrifying threats spray painted where the bat can see. (Jason and Bruce give each others shit for the pot shots they take and Bruce compliments Jason’s form when he gets a good hit in, Bruce gives Jason a heads up to the easier ways to get out of a police car and Jason ignores him going for the most dramatic ways, Bruce complains that the code Jason uses for his threats are obvious and he can just ask Alfred himself for cookies, why does Bruce have to be the middle man.)

The super hero community doesn’t really know this (cause they can be pretty bad actors at times, says Bruce) tis can cause problems. Superman and Green Arrow capturing Red Hood. Batman had to pull the “he’s Gotham’s problem give him to me,” which led to a hour of arguing to get Jason back. Tim’s friend have Red Hood on their hit list for what Hood did to Robin (Tim is over it but he does use this as a way to get back at his brother when he pisses him off) and Red Hood has to be on the Villain List to sell the act, so every hero ever knows the Red Hood is a villain. This leads to chaos.

There are still rough moments where Bruce and Jason still fight, but it’s better. Jason gets to hang out and play games with Tim. He plans overly dramatic fights with Dick (with full plot cause these two are so extra.) He helps Alfred in the kitchen again talking about books they’ve both read. He and Bruce talk again, they talk about their fears and what they’ve missed. It’s better, and that’s all that really matters.

[celenawrites]

₊˚ෆ soulmate au, wherein you get to see the world through your soulmate's eyes and experience what they're feeling at that moment

awful editing(no beta), a lot of pov shifts, loads of grammar mistakes, description of violence, smut below the cut. 

just an idea i have been marinating in my drafts this month. 

MDNI.

the first time Simon Riley realizes he has a soulmate, he's 24 and well on his way to becoming a lieutenant. it's an early winter morning, filled with white fog and chilly breeze that seeps through the balaclava he wears while off duty. he's in the cold, congested room that has been assigned as his office and he's trying to catch up on the stack of paperwork that had accumulated while he was risking his lives on the front-line just to feel something.

the scene shifts with a few gradual blinks and he realizes he's not in his office anymore.

he's she's standing in the kitchen, brewing up a cup of tea while humming an old melody. he's awfully out of place here, and he almost thinks his mind is tricking him with a sudden daydream and then she pours out the tea into a green mug, and exits the kitchen - finally sitting down in what he assumes to be a living room.

she turns on the tv to watch some melodrama he doesn't know, as she carefully blows onto the mug to cool down the steaming liquid before carefully taking a sip. he feels the green tea trickle down his throat, warming him from inside. he can feel the cushion behind her back and the glasses that rest on the bridge of her nose. he can feel the tag on her shirt scratch the nape of his nick uncomfortably so.

the scene is serene and unfamiliar and he feels out of place - it is homely and clean and pure, not tainted with blood, violence and avarice. it is uncomfortable for him to watch her be good and domestic and kind, almost feels like he doesn’t deserve it after the life he’s led. and yet, with time, seeing the world through her eyes is warmly welcomed after a dud of a day doing what he's best known for - being a ghost.

and he almost feels sorry for her, whoever she is. he’s sorry for the man he is, for the soldier he is. he’s sorry that she gets a one-way front ticket to seeing him kill people without remorse. 

most of all, he’s sorry she had to end up with him. 

for you, seeing the world through your soulmate's eyes has been nothing short of a grim nightmare. every time you'd shift, you'd almost pray to God and cross your fingers to avoid seeing any of the gruesome scenes that he encountered almost on the daily. you cannot see his face, but you can feel how heavy the protective gear is against his body, how taut his shoulders are and you can feel the synthetic fabric of the gun strap dig into his shoulders and chest. you feel his hands touch the steel barrel of the weapon and your blood runs cold. it’s not long before he’s aiming the said gun at a man before shooting him dead without hesitating. the first time you witnessed him doing something this abhorrent, you ended up having a panic attack - still able to feel the weight of the gun in your hands, convinced that you’re the culprit who shot someone in cold blood. 

it’s not long before the scenes you witness through your soulmate’s eyes follow you even in your sleep. you’re taking melatonin, chamomile tea, antidepressants - anything to help you cope with the fact that having a soulmate like him means being haunted by gruesome visions for the rest of your life. it’s not long before your co-workers comment on your baggy eyes and frail health - even uniting together to urge you that taking a break would probably do you some good, but you turn them all down with a gentle shake of your head. 

and then, you meet Soap through him. scottish, demolition expert, part of the military. wild mohawk, likes to draw, always the victim of your soulmate’s dry jokes. Gaz - british, a sergeant, youngest of the lot, always willing to help, but has enough snark to keep up with Soap about the most ridiculous of things. and Price - captain of his team, with impressive mutton chops and loud sneezes. 

you see them relax around each other, see them drink tea, see Soap and Gaz banter and compete with each other at the training grounds - and this change of pace is far more welcomed than seeing people die on the battlefield. 

and then there’s him, a pariah. everyone he comes across calls him ‘Ghost’, which just sounds ridiculous. no one knows anything about him, but there are moments when you are where he is and you see Price’s eyes twinkle with something - but your lack of physical presence always hinders your curiosity about the subject. no one has really seen his face, and you fear that you’d never get to know the man who’s destined to compliment you in all aspects of life. 

there are moments though, when sharing vision and emotions with you, gets awfully overwhelming for him. it takes a lot to get a man of his stature to waver in his step, but you do that job perfectly. he sees you one day, in your bed with soft satin sheets failing to cover your body. he sees your hands trail down your body and his breath hitched when he feels you play with your cotton panties - before sliding them to the side and rubbing soft circles on your clit. he swears under his breath, trying to hold onto his sanity as it slowly slips away from him when you use your other hand to tease your nipples with skittish touches. it’s not long before Simon has locked himself up in the bathroom stall, using his hands to relieve the tension he has all because of you - matching his rhythm so that he comes at the same time as you. 

he wonders if your hands would feel softer. if you’d kiss him before begging him with those doe eyes to make you feel good. if you’d tell him that you love him. if you’d love him enough so that he can be anew  - without his past dragging him through the mud. 

if you’d lose yourself to him and let him piece you back together with the adoration he carries for you. you’re practically a stranger, and yet you’re the only person who can get to him. 

divider by @/cafekitsune

[callsign-fox]

Wingman - Rooster

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader

Been sitting in the drafts/Lightly edited

Written with @fanficgirl429 <3

18+ Only // Enjoy xo

--------------------------------------------------------

When you sign on to be a pilot for the Navy as a female, you know you’ll have to put up with egotistical men on a daily basis, however, it’s not until you have to work with them that you realize how incredibly self centered they actually are. 

The canopy to my jet raised and I quickly climbed down the ladder. My wingman, Rooster, landed right behind me and he was currently maneuvering his jet into the assigned spot beside mine. Rooster was not my first choice for a wingman, he wasn’t my second or third either. It was near impossible to work with him and I was sure our superiors were getting ready to ship one of us off to Guam just to separate us from one another. Fortunately for them, we were two of the best the Navy had to offer and so for that reason alone, we were stuck together. 

I glanced up from my current conversation with my flight crew just as Rooster walked by, his head down and stupid aviator sunglasses shielding his eyes. I rolled my eyes as he continued by not saying a word. Of course he wouldn't say anything, he was the reason we failed the exercise.

“That was a disaster,” I mumbled to myself.

I turned behind me just as my friend Phoenix walked by. “What was going on up there?” she asked, watching    

Bradley as he disappeared into the locker room. 

“I don’t know. Why don’t you go ask Bradley and report it back to me?” 

Phoenix shook her head. “No thanks. I’m slightly terrified of him when he’s angry.” 

I rolled my eyes. “Well, he’s an asshole.”

Phoenix glanced back at the locker room before looking over at me. She lowered her voice as she said, “I have to tell you something about Bradley and it’s probably going to make you mad.” 

“Well if it has to do with Bradley, of course it’s going to make me mad.”

Phoenix sighed and began, “Well, I was at the Hard Deck the other night and ran into Anders. Apparently there is a rumor going around about you back in the Academy.” 

My eyes narrowed in on her and I clenched my fist, “About what?”

“Now don't shoot the messenger, you can be scary sometimes too.” 

“Phoenix!” I yelled, losing my patience. 

“Apparently Bradley started a rumor that the only reason you got into Top Gun was because you…” Phoenix trailed off. 

My heart began to race and I felt my cheeks grow hot. “Because I what?” 

“Because you gave Admiral Rhodes a blow job.” 

“What?” I shrieked and quickly began to walk towards the locker room. 

When I reached the door to the men's locker room, I pulled it open and immediately locked eyes with Hangman. A towel hung off his hips, showing off his incredible abs. I tore my eyes away, feeling a blush creep up my neck. 

“Where is he?” I asked. 

Without hesitating, Hangman pointed towards the back, where I assumed the showers were. There was only one shower being used and I walked over and pushed the white curtain aside. 

“Hey!” a very familiar voice shouted. “What the fuck?” 

I took a step back, not wanting to get wet. Bradley reached out and grabbed his white towel from the hook and wrapped it around his waist. I couldn’t help but notice how well built he was. His six pack abs were on full display and I hated how much I wanted to run my fingers along them. 

“What do you want Y/N?” 

My eyes snapped away from his body and I stared into his brown eyes. “I heard a rumor about me. One that you might happen to know about.” 

Bradley narrowed his eyes and nodded. “Yea, I might happen to know what you’re referring to.” 

“Are you insane? What did I do to you besides tolerate you every damn day for the last four years!”

Bradley shrugged. “I’ve been a delight! You have done nothing but drive me insane.”

“You didn't know, the only reason I’m here is to drive you crazy!”

Bradley laughed. “Nope. The only reason you’re here is because you gave Admiral Rhodes a blow job.” 

My jaw dropped and I couldn't help but growl at him. “That never happened! I hate you so much.”

“Don’t worry sweetheart, the feeling is mutual.” 

I took a step forward and shoved him hard causing him to stumble back into the shower, but before I could react his hand grabbed my wrist, pulling me under the hot stream of water. To my amusement my hands were pressed against his chest, and before I could register what I was doing my nails ran down his toned abs to the top of his towel. The moment was over when I pulled my hands away and brushed them through my now wet hair. 

“Do you have any idea how attractive you are when you’re mad at me?” he said, his voice low. 

His words caught me off guard. “Wait, what?”

The hot water was still running over my body and I was becoming increasingly aware of just how see through my white t-shirt was when I noticed Bradley’s eyes looking down at my chest. 

“I know I shouldn't be this turned on right now, but I am.”

I rolled my eyes and pushed a piece of wet hair behind my ear. “You’re such a prick.”

Bradley ran his tongue along his lower lip and smiled. A moment later his lips came crashing into mine. The urge to push him off of me came and went as my hands snaked around his neck and I began twirling my fingers through his hair. 

His lips moved quickly as he placed his hands on my hips, pulling me closer to him. My body was pressed against his and I could feel his erection against my stomach. My core slightly throbbed, begging to be touched by him. 

Bradley’s fingers toyed with the bottom of my wet t-shirt before he slipped them under and pulled the shirt over my head, barely breaking the kiss. My shirt dropped to the floor and I quickly pushed it away with my foot. By now the rest of the guys would have left, but I pulled the shower curtain shut just in case. 

His lips brushed softly against my neck before pressing against my ear and whispered, “Does that mean you want me to keep going?” 

My fingers toyed with the top of Bradley’s towel as I gave him a slight nod. His hands gripped my waist and he swiftly spun us around so that my back was pressed against the wall. Bradley hurriedly unbuttoned my wet jean shorts and pushed them down my waist before dropping them to the floor. He quickly turned off the water as it began to get cold, but not before our lips were once again intertwined. In the mess of clothes coming off, I hadn’t even noticed his towel dropped to the floor, proving to me that the rumors about how endowed Bradley Bradshaw was, were indeed true. 

“Well, well. I guess I won’t ever be able to spread anymore rumors about how small Rooster is.” 

He pulled back, slightly offended. “Wait, what have you been telling people?” 

I let out a small laugh. “What’s done is done, YOU told people I gave an admiral a blow job.” 

“And if you’re any good at it, I'll be sure to pass that on and your spot in Top Gun will have been well deserved.” 

I gave him a small smack on his arm before reaching over and placing my hand against his chest. My eyes locked with his as I slowly began to run my fingers down his chest and towards his stomach. My polished nails left faint red lines on his skin and Bradley looked all too amused as he watched me drop down to my knees. 

Bradley sucked in his breath as my hand wrapped around him. I slowly moved my hand along his length, which by Bradley’s reaction of pressing his hand to the wall to steady himself, was a good move. I gently grazed my tongue over his tip and his free hand instinctively moved to my long brown hair, giving it a slight tug. I smiled as his hips jerked forward, pushing his length further into my mouth. I didn’t miss a beat as I continued with my lips wrapped around him, causing him to let out a deep moan and pull tighter on my hair.

“Y/N,” Bradley breathed, “you need to stop…now.”

I let out a small chuckle before standing up and Bradley immediately pulled me against him. He placed his lips against mine, kissing me quickly. One hand wrapped around my waist, while the other moved up my stomach and towards my chest. His fingers played with my nipple, causing it to stand erect. With each touch, my core throbbed from being ignored by him. I rubbed my thighs together, trying to ease the tension but Bradley noticed. His hand moved from my chest, along my stomach, and towards my core. 

His calloused fingers ran along my center, coming to a stop at my sensitive spot. Two fingers rubbed against it and I let out a moan. Bradley’s lips continued to move against mine and he slipped two fingers inside me. He moved them against me and I could feel my high quickly approaching with each movement. 

“I’m close,” I told him. 

His fingers continued to move and it didn’t take long before my walls were clenching around him. My legs became weak and Bradley placed his hands on my hips, helping me steady myself. It had been a while since I had an orgasm that intense. 

Once I was able to stand on my own, I reached down and placed my hand on his erection. He took a step closer to me. 

“Are you sure you still want to do this?” he asked. 

“If you ask me one more time, I’m going to walk out of here,” I told him. 

“You’re making it really hard to hate you right now,” Bradley said, while placing a hand on the back of my thigh. 

My leg wrapped around his waist, and without hesitation Bradley pushed his length inside of me, my walls stretching around him. A gasp escaped my lips and Bradley smiled.

“You’re so tight.” 

He gave me a moment to get used to the size before he began to move his hips against mine. 

Each thrust pushed me closer to my second climax of the day. I let out a loud gasp as his length hit the perfect spot. 

Bradley smirked as I continued to melt against his touch. 

“I’m so close,” I whispered. 

He reached down and pressed two fingers against my sensitive spot, rubbing it casually. 

Within moments my walls clenched around him and my legs became weak. The humidity from the shower made our bodies sticky and sweaty, which only helped my arousal. Bradley continued thrusting and seconds later he released inside of me, a moan escaping his lips. 

The two of us stood there for a moment, catching our breaths. Bradley stared at me and I smiled shyly, fully realizing that we were both completely naked. I reached for the towel he had hung on the side of the shower and wrapped it around my waist. 

“That was mine.” 

I stepped out of the shower, reaching down and picking up my soaked t-shirt and shorts that had lazily been pushed aside. “These are the only clothes I have with me. How am I supposed to get home?” 

He walked over to his duffle bag that was sitting on the bathroom bench and pulled out a gray t-shirt. “Here you go. I can get it back from you tomorrow, after training.”

“That would imply I am inviting you over to get it, and I haven’t.” 

“Oh,” Bradley said with a wink. “You will invite me over.” And once again there was that attitude I knew and hated.

[devilfic]

Reading right place, right time and found myself kicking my feet and twirling my hair at the thought of Bruce writing about the surgeon in his diary after their first encounter . 🥺😂 (Sorry, I’m being silly) 😭 but I really do wonder what he wrote. Would he have added any personal thoughts of his own or keep it about his routine? 🤔 sorry for this weird message. I love your writing 💕

this is not weird at ALL. I've been itching to talk about this! unlike in where two are joined, I'm trying not to tell any of it from bruce's perspective so that the reader can be immersed in their own pov. therefore,,, this gives me an excuse :)

when bruce gets home, he is not thinking about his diary.

in an uncharacteristic turn of events, he puts his body first and passes out on the couch in the terminus. he gets about an hour or two of sleep, something he deprived himself of in your apartment out of fear of letting down his guard.

he sort of jolts awake after that second hour, thinking that he had fallen asleep in your home. his chest heaves as he gathers his surroundings, registers the pain in his side, unaware of the hour. it takes him a few minutes to collect himself and then he's pulling off his suit piece by piece, assessing the damage at his desk. to his surprise, your stitches have held together pretty well. he pops a few main meds and pulls out his journal.

Wednesday, November 16th.

I made a miscalculation with the smugglers. The weapons they're moving are military grade, and from the communications I was able to intercept, they've got several buyers I can't afford to let get their hands on these guns.

I managed to put a dent in their inventory tonight, but for every shipment I hit, there are two more I miss. I can't be everywhere at once, which means I can't afford to lose momentum. I can't let up.

I sustained injuries from tonight including one gunshot wound. I was able to remove the bullet once I found somewhere safe to retreat, but the wound was worse than I anticipated and I struggled to keep the bleeding at bay. I made another mistake and intended on finding a place to rest—a nearby apartment I assumed to be empty—where I could at least stop the bleeding and send Alfred my location. But someone was there. Before I could escape, I passed out from the blood loss.

I must've been out for a few minutes. This stranger could have unmasked me, and I'm still not entirely sure they hadn't. Regardless, they were a doctor. They managed to stitch me up, and after some convincing, I rested in their apartment for the next three hours. I had no intention to, but I'm certain I wouldn't be writing this now if I hadn't done so. If it wasn't for them, I would be

I was desperate. I realize that now. I put myself and potentially someone else in danger. Someone who chose to help me. Their intentions seemed innocent, but I need to know for sure. I can't make any more mistakes. I won't.

after that, I think bruce just throws himself into researching you. he starts with gotham general, looks for all the surgeons, eventually finds your name, and he falls down this hole of finding out whatever he can about you: your age, where you went to school, your relatives and past jobs. he wants to know that this freak twist of fate was just that: a twist, an abnormality.

alfred finds him like that, ready to retrieve him for the tour (which bruce definitely forgot about). he's about to make a comment like "you're up early" and then he sees gauze taped to bruce's side and god, if alfred doesn't have steam blowing out of his ears by the time he's done yelling at him.

and later, when he's standing in front of you as bruce wayne, he's caught off guard again because what are the odds that you could save his life as some freak twist of fate once, only to have him run into you again not hours later?

and you're... whip-smart. kind. he hears you talk about the work you do and he can see how much you care about the people of this city. it's not in his nature to trust easily but when he gets home later that day he is poring into everything he can about you, searching for the chink in your armor. there must be something. maybe he's missed it or you're good at hiding but all of this feels too good to be true.

it takes him a few days after he finds your file for him to think it over. the stitches have held up. he's replacing his gauze in the bathroom and asks alfred if he thinks it's the right call.

"are you certain there's no one else?"

"a vigilante doctor?" bruce laughs, stretching his spine. "how would I take applications for that, exactly?"

"they're a civilian."

"they saved my life."

alfred holds his tongue, nearly chokes on it, "you must be prepared for this not to work out. or worse. you may never pick up that cowl again."

bruce stares at his hands, scarred from his long nights. he doesn't remember much after passing out, only the split second of finality and the regret that followed... until you brought him back, "I've already made peace with that."

[kining-the-evil]

Can i request a James Wilson x f!reader where they’re married and the reader takes the place of House in the episode where he gets shot.

Heartbeat

Summary: Nothing brings a fighting couple together like a life threatening event

Warnings: being shot, arguing between reader and Wilson, angst, house being a bitch, reader is House’s sister

“I really don’t know what you want y/n,” James mumbled through his hands. His desk was a mess, something that always drove you crazy. The entire time you’d known the man you went out of your way to clean it and eventually he got used to it, even poking fun at you when you did. Today would not include that sort of teasing.

“You know exactly what I want, you just don’t want to actually do it.” You argued back. This was the third time James had stayed at the hospital over night, except last night he didn’t stay here. He went to your brothers.

“I- I had work to get done-“

“Thats what you were at Greg’s?” You watched as his face morphed slightly. He knew you’d caught him in his lie.

“He told you?”

“No. I was tired of sleeping in an empty apartment so I went to see my brother. Your car was parked out front.” The silence made the room feel heavy, and your husband was looking everywhere but at you.

“I don’t… i didn’t mean…I was going to come home. But…I just ended up there,” he attempted to explain.

“Thats why you told me you wouldn’t be home before I went home?” He didnt answer, fully aware it was a rhetorical question. “Its nice to know we are no longer in the ‘honeymoon phase.’ How else was I ever going to know when you were going to start trying to make me ex wife number 4?”

“Thats a low blow.”

“No, its a low blow for others. For your wife, its a perfectly reasonable concern!” He finally pushed himself away from his desk to stand up, reacting to how your voice was raising.

“Please just, calm down for a moment.”

“I have been calm! How many times have I defended shit you do? How many times have I forgiven you!” You yelled at him. “You promised you would be better this time!”

James just stared at you. It could have been because he didn’t know what to say, or because you’d never yelled at him like this; but you didn’t really care.

“You know what James, if you want to be like this then you can stay at Greg’s house for a while. I don’t want to see you.”

You didnt wait for an answer this time, simply leaving his office in a huff. Your next stop was your brothers office so you could chew him out.

“Gregory House!” You yelled, throwing the door open. All three of his lackeys turned to look at you while Greg made a face.

“Full name, that cant be good.”

“Why the hell did you not tell me?”

“Tell you what?” you gave him a look, making him sigh. “I assume you just got done yelling at Wilson?”

“I told him he could stay with you for a while, seeing as you didn’t have an issue with it last time.” The other three doctors watched the two argue, unsure of what they should do. It felt wrong to watch, but they didnt want to draw attention to themselves by leaving either.

Before you could continue yelling at him, the door to the office opened and another man walked in.

“Are you Doctor House?”

“No, he is.” Greg pointed at Forman, not looking away from the obvious staring contest happening between the two of you.

“Im an old patient.”

“You can leave the gift basket on my desk-“ he stoped talking, eyes wide, making you turn to see what was happening. You didnt even see the gun before you felt a sharp pain in your neck, and then your abdomen. You felt yourself run into your brother as you stumbled backwards, and he quickly helped you to lay down.

He was talking to you, but the ringing in your ears was to loud to hear him. You brought your hand to your stomach, bringing it up slightly to see your hand covered in blood. You must have been shot.

You let your eyes slid shut for a moment, and when you opened them again you were laying on what felt like a bed and the ceiling was flying by. You caught a glimpse of Cuddy, and you could feel hands on both your neck and stomach. Your breathing was labored, and blood was stating to fill your mouth. You coughed, attempting to expel the liquid, and Cuddy glanced back down at you.

“Your going to be ok y/n.”

You nodded slowly, but the pain in your neck quickly put a stop to it. You let your eyes slip closed again, and when you opened them again a few doctors were surrounding you and you were no longer moving. In the corner of your eye you saw James, and you attempted to say something. Though you weren’t sure what. Instead, a mask was put over your face and the already fuzzy world got even fuzzier.

You attempted to reach out in James’s direction, but your arm felt to heavy. You let your eyes slip closed for a third time, knowing you wouldn’t open them again for a while.

•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

Everything hurt. That was the only though you had as you woke up a bit. Every part of your body was soar, and your head felt like someone had been beating on it with a hammer. After a few moments of laying there, you opened your eyes slightly. Thankfully, the lights in the room were turned down making it slightly more bearable. A glance around the room told you you were alone.

You reached up, feeling around your body a bit. Your neck felt the worse, which made sense since there was multiple bandages and a draining tube sticking pit if the side. Your stomach also had bandages, and there was a small bit of blood on it.

“You look like shit.” You glanced up to see your brother leaning against the doorway.

“Funny,” you groaned. “How bad?”

“You got a bullet lodged in your neck and abdomen. They removed them, but you lost a lot of blood and you flatlined for two minutes.” You listened, calculating what that would mean. Two minutes without air could cause brain damage.

“He was trying to shoot me.” You glanced back at your brothers face, seeing an emotion that was rare for him. Guilt. “He had an std after cheating on his wife and I had to tell her. She ended up killing herself; he wanted to kill me. You got in the way.”

You weren’t sure what to say. One thing the two of you didnt have a lot of practice with was sharing emotional moments together. No mater what the emotion was. “It wasn’t your fault.”

“I know.”

It was silent for a few minutes after that. Neither of you really knowing where to go from there. “Where’s James?”

He smirked lightly at your question. “He snuck off to see his mistress, he’ll be so disappointed that you pulled through.”

“Im not in the mood Greg.”

“Relax. He should be back any second.” He leaned back to glance down the hall. “Speak of the devil.”

James pushed past his friend, slightly out of breath. “Is she ok-“ he stoped when he saw you awake. “Thank god.” He mumbled, a smile in his face.

“Hi,” you whispered, a smile of your own on your face.

“I’ll give you some space, but don’t go to crazy.” You couldn’t help but role your eyes at your brothers sarcasm, but he did leave the two of you alone.

“Im sorry.”

The words were out of his mouth before you even had a chance to think about saying something to him.

“What?”

He walked over, sitting in the chair next to your bed. He reached out taking a hold of your hand, careful of the iv in it. “I have been, awful the past few weeks. My own insecurities got the best of me, and because of that you’ve suffered. When Cameron got me, I immediately thought, ‘what if I lose her?’ When they told me you flatlined-“ he cut himself off with a shaky breath. You let go of his hand, reaching up to touch his face; whipping away a tear. “When they told me that, all I could think about was that the last moment I would have spent with you was arguing. Not say I love you, not seeing you smile; that last time I would have seen you was with you glaring at me.”

“James,” you whispered to the man. “I’m ok.”

“I know, but what if you weren’t?” He had tears running down his face, which told you just how upset he was. James took after your brother, his emotions being just as hard to read at times.

“Im sorry for yelling,” you apologized. “I’m just scared to be another one of your ex wife’s.”

“I messed up my other relationships, Im not doing it again.” He assured you. “And I will do anything to show you.”

“I just want honesty. Dont hide, or go running to my brother. Talk to me.”

“I will.” He promised, letting his head lean into your hand as he rubbed light circles in your wrist. He leaned down, intending to kiss you but you turned your head away.

“I can not possibly look kissable right now.”

“You Look beautiful.” He tried, but you shook your head.

“I have a tube in my neck draining a mix of blood and puss. I can promise you that’s not attractive.” He just smiled at your words, shaking his head.

“You could throw up blood on me and id still kiss you.”

“Liar.” He laughed at the look you have him to accompany the word.

“Ok, ok, that may be an exaggeration. But I still want a kiss.” That time you let him lean down and connect your lips. It wasn’t long, but it left the promise of more later.

“Oh come on, you can do more then that.” James exhaled on your face, making you chuckle as Greg walked in. “If you go a little further then I get $100 from Forman.”

“You could always not make bets on our person life,” James offered.

“But what’s the fun in that?” He pushed a few buttons on your iv, making your frown.

“What Are You Doing?”

“Uping your Morphine, dont tell cuddy.” He Held a finger up in a shushing motion.

“God, I love you,” you smiled. If you were going to be shot, you might as well feel good for the night.

“Now that you’ve done your little crying make up thing, you should go shower.” James started to argue, but Greg just cut him off. “You haven’t moved to two days. How am I going to make the $100 of you stink?”

“Ill be fine,” you assured your husband. He didnt say anything, but nodded and stood up. He placed a small kiss on your forehead before leaving the room. Greg watched him walk away before look back at you.

“Thank god you made up, he is the worst roommate.”

“Shut up before I throw something at you.”

[lumineary-arts]

Saw you ask about ppls AUs uh

Most of mine, admittingly, don't have designs yet. At least not drawn ones. Oops!!

But I can like?? Still ramble ig?

I also have a swap AU! I haven't posted a lot ab it, but it's called Solver Shift.

In it I put Sam in Cyns place. So the DDs have pink accents (wasn't comfortable using Doll and making them red, despite barely drawing DD armbands anyways - personally at least)

Some places I'm still unsure about, like idk whether Khan and Nori should be direct swaps with Ron & Tessa or should be put in Tessas parents position. If I go the latter idk who to put in Tessas place lol.

Ron and Tessa weren't actually ever romantically involved. They were just best friends, and were like "well we live together, we both kinda wanna know what having kids is like. So let's raise one together"; insert Nuke (N) being built. Tess survived a few years into his life, they built Cyn and then yada yada you know the story - dead mom

If it wasn't obvious by Ns name, the rail gun gets replaced by explosives. Thank Cyn for that, it was her idea. (They both take canonverse Uzi her engineering skills, but Cyn takes the more unhinged aspect of the personality.) - Nuke was like "we gotta do something about the DDs but idk what!" And Cyn, sparkly eyed and all, was like "Let's blow them up!"

I need to figure out some episode stand ins seeing as Cyn is younger but still sticks to N like glue. Beau takes Dolls place, they'd be Similar in age to Cyn (aka I gotta give them a body design F)

Oh also, as for befriending the DDs -- whilst Ep1 would run similar to canon; after that Thad/T would bond faster with the siblings than Uzi/Z bc they keep their canonverse personalities mostly!! So that's a reverse. Also T wouldnt want to kill the Prom unlike V, he just genuinely wants to make friends 😭

Don't ask me why Beau is at the prom, being younger and all. Might just make it an all years general prom rather than just the graduating class.

Next AU yay

Blood & Bats is a Vampire/Human AU! DDS and Solver Drones are vampires, you get the gyst!

N & Cyn are bio siblings, got separated bc of a divorce. Eventually both were separately taken away for shitty parenting, one of which caused Cyn to get vampirism one way or another. She also has DID/OSDD1 in this AU, the Solver conciousness isn't an evil entity here, just s Persecutor under the definition of "Misguided Protector who hurts as a form of protection" -- they're basically just a terrified vampire kid who thinks they're a danger and thinks isolation is the only way to keep their lived ones safe.

At some point the Elliots adopt N, later Cyn too. They also have previously adopted V and J. As time goes on, the alphabet trio one by one get turned by Cyn/Solver but they catch her after that so Tessa never is turned.

Uzi is basically a half vampire. Her mom was one, her dad wasn't. I don't remember the details atm, but I assume I've posted them somewhere in the tag on my account, but iirc Khan killed Nori in a moment of shock and survival instinct when finding out. Uzi doesn't know this. She finds out later after being turned herself (on accident!) - either through N or Cyn. Might do N to draw a parallel to the miscommunication between ep 2 and 3. Bc yeah Uzi would assume it's on purpose and he broke a promise.

Once they fix things, she finds out about her dad killing her mom and she runs away from home, terrified he might kill her too -- she crashes at the siblings place OR Thads place. I'm not sure yet. Both have pros and cons.

Khan cant easily access the manor, needs to be at an event for it. But the parents would want Uzi OUT asap. On Thads end; Teacher (Thad and Lizzy are either step or half siblings idk yet) and Ron (uncle, moved in after his sister died to help with the kids!) Would not let Khan take Uzi home sending as they see her terrified. They don't know what happened. But Khan has easier access bc he's friends with Teacher and obviously Lizzy is there which Uzi isn't thrilled about.

That's as far as I can remember the storyline -- there would still be parallels to some episodes! Ep 4 would still happen! Just some would survive! Rebecca would be found by one of the alphabet trio and turned to save her life. She's wheelchair bound after that. Sam survives but everyone thinks he got too high and doesn't believe him when he talks rambling about Uzis vampire form (Becca keeps it secret bc like if she says something it by extension endangers the other vampires in the school which now includes herself)

Intertwined/Inteetwinjng Codes (Me when I keep going back and forth between both titles) is a next gen AU thing. It started off as a joke,,, oh well

Kids.

These little shits are twins, they started this whole rabbithole. They would boot up sometime after Ep 4.

Later on their parents would want to program another kid & adopt one. Invert Annika and Zagi, except unexpected thing happened and they now have two babies to upload. Insert Raven.

Annika is currently undergoing redesign, ignore how basic she looks compared to her siblings lol.

As for the last 2 kids -- they didn't WANT any more, but when being sent to another colony they run into this toddler with a baby, who are being attacked by other DDs so they step in. Whilst they argue with N, Uzi gets the kids to safety. They were gonna keep the kids at their place for that night but Olicia did NOT want to sleep in the same place as a DD & a ton of half DDs -- so Thad gets called at 3am 😭 hes the cool uncle to their kids so yk

Next day it turns out adoption wing is full, so the siblings get passed around Thad, Uzis dad and Nuzi a ton (their own colony got killed so they cant go back there) until Ray gets attached to Nuzi, and you shouldn't separate a baby from its bonded adults. Seeing as he already lost the code related parents, they didn't want to risk further hurting his programming. So the siblings were basically accidentally adopted by Nuzi, despite Olivia not being happy about it at first. But she didn't want to separate from Ray.

That's mostly that. Theres not too much lore tbh. Just a silly half joke AU.

Also I have 6 siblings IRL so I tend to like give my ship kids many siblings 😭 so ignore that fact lol, just projecting

Then theres like 3 more Cyn centric AUs.

2 are pretty small.

DD!Cyn AU that has no name yet is just the AS uploaded a copy of Cyn/the Base Drones conciousness into a DD body and kept her with the trio. That'll lead to major Identity crisis once Cyn realizes technically she's a clone and her memories aren't *hers*. Aside from that: Cyn and J constantly have beef bc of J abusing N, Cyn tries to get her to stop but just faces verbal abuse herself in return :(

Shes also pretty distrusting of Uzi at first bc like!! Nobody except Cyn ever spent time with N!! That's a Drone getting close to her big brother which possibly could hurt him in the long run if she turns out to be like the other teammates!! (She eventually warms up to her)

Then there is Trapped/Hivemind AU. Literally just Cyn trapped in the hivemind, unable to reach her body for control. She can HEAR the other Solver Drones and the DDs, as they're all part of the hivemind. But she can't communicate with them. No matter how hard she tries.

Especially when she hears N she will call out to him but not get a response

So shes probably on the brink of losing it

Then there is "Dormant" Absolute Solver

Originally it was gonna be "The AS lost interest in Cyn as a host" and ig it still kind of is correct-? I need to go back and forth between certain aspects lol

But long story short, Cyn now got a separate body from the AS, doesn't know it killed Tessa & comes to C9 with J & "Tessa". The AS just brought her as a tool to manipulate N with, but she doesn't know that. Cyn joins the group from ep 6 onwards. Yay more PTSD for the child I guess :)

I havent written out ep 6 yet but I think she'd be with N & "Tessa" for that part.

Ep 7 she ends up on the side of the rocks with Uzi, and walks at a distance after being told to basically F off bc Uzi doesn't trust her now but Cyn is scared to be alone. Uzi notices Cyn isn't okay tho.

(Varian tangled reference yay)

Might I add that seeing Uzis wings and tail in ep 6 would have majorly triggered Cyns PTSD but shes unaware of why she feels so scared. So seeing Uzis tail the whole time definitely adds onto the stress =)

During the fight Uzi would reach out to Cyn through the hivemind, both girls calling out to N through Cyns body. The AS doesn't like that and forcefully shuts Cyn down. It has admin rights over her after all.

By the time Cyn wakes up, the AS is grabbing her to blackmail N after just having eaten Doll. Talking about how he wouldnt want to hurt his baby sister (hes aiming his laser cannon at the AS for context). Then it gets bored, drops Cyn and the regular program ensures. Except Cyn took Tessas gun and shoots herself free from the tentacles and runs to the pit after seeing Nuzi be pulled in. Whilst shes there trying to figure out how to get them back up (seeing as she cant use her Solver on them, or at least not Uzi. The show us so unclear if it works on DDs or not) the scene goes on.

I'm not sure yet who Cyn will stick with, probably N bc I've more ideas. BUT also I'm waiting for episode 8 to decide that for sure. Same with the ending. I got multiple bad ending ideas and also a good ending :) ep 8 will determine which one will be canon :)

Oh yeah Cyn lol -- both new and old ref bc of the oil canister I didn't draw in the new one yet. She still has it as you can see by the oil tubes!

Also the Good!Ending DAS!N would run a Daycare post canon. IC!N also runs one. I just like having N work with kids.

Most of these (I think all except DD & Trappsd Cyn) are tagged on my account probably with some more info

Idk if the tags will show up tho bc they don't always for me when searching for them :(

My pinned post has the tags listed I think

I think that was all of them hm (istg if I forgot one 💀)

OKAY THIS ONE'S SUPER IN DEPTH I'M HEAVILY INTRIGUED. MULTIPLE AU'S DUDE!! I LOVE IT, KEEP EM COMING. Loving the ideas behind the swap AU. Putting Sam in Cyn's place is unique, I hadn't heard anyone do that before!! Also the thing about using pink is fair, I did use red but I didn't keep that in mind! A vampire AU's extremely fitting for Murder Drones, being a substitute for the Solver/Disassembly model. Since ep. 4 is my favorite, I love the fact it'd still play out here. Also I must say I REALLY like the next gen AU designs??? I actually kinda wish we saw more next gen stuff, or maybe I'm just not looking in the right places. Either way I very specifically love Rexim and Raven's designs, I think the color choices are really speaking to me. ALSO ALL THE CYN FANS ARE GONNA BE EATING UP THE CYN-CENTRIC AU'S. But it seems like the poor girl could never catch a break. WONDERFUL WORK ALL AROUND!!

[timkontheunsure]

I’d like your opinion on a few theories about something Viv teased about the next episodes. She said that they culminate in the ending of an arc they’ve been building up for awhile. I have 3 theories what that could be

1. Blitz-overcoming his low self esteem and demons, able to move on

2. Stolas- he stands up for himself against the goetia, possibly stripped of his title.

3.stolitz- they finally talk, possibly confess and reconcile

Or it could be a combo of all 3. But it sounds like she’s talking about a specific arc, and while I’d like for it to be Stolitz development, I have a feeling it’s a specific character arc.

What do you think?

Humm ok (again obligatory warning about head injury, so sorry about typos, or not connecting things properly ect).

But kinda think all 3 are getting advanced, but only 1 of them finished by the end of this season.

1)Blitz-overcoming his low self esteem and demons, able to move on.

Well we've definitely had some of that Oops and Blitz getting the unattainable of Fizz forgiving him, and being his best friend again.

And I think we're going to see some of that trauma get explored in Ghostfuckers.

It's also likely that it's going to be the episode with Blitz's hearing he makes everything worse from evil Millie.

But I don't think that's going to be neatly packed away, because Barbie's met to be back in s3.

It also doesn't quite make sense if that's not the main focus of the last two episodes. Mastermind and Sinsmas don't seem to be able that. Though we do appear to have the least clips about those.

But honestly mostly because this show understands trauma is with us for the long haul. We can unpack it, make it lighter to carry, but it's always with us.

2) Stolas- he stands up for himself against the goetia, possibly stripped of his title.

Could be. A big theme is Stolas learning he's allowed to choose, but also setting up one hell of a backlash for stepping out of line.

We've had a theme of people standing up to the powerful.

With Blitz standing up to Ozzie for M&M,

Loona standing up to Bee,

Fizz standing up to Mammon.

Stolas either telling Paimon, or the Goetias council, that he's getting the divorce no matter what they do; could play into that theme.

The tile striping seems fairly likely, but possible down the road. Maybe suspension first?

But again I don't think that's going to be nice wrapped up either. With the trail plot starting in series 3.

Assuming that'll be about the book deal, because chekhov's gun says it's gotta blow up in their faces at somepoint.

Also Stolas coming out in his 30s was always going to be a bit messy.

Can't really see that being fully over in a couple of episodes because this show gets trauma, and missed developmental stages and secondary adolescence take a while to work through.

(Take it for someone who was parentified from an early age, you don't really get to move on till you've dealt with it. Even if it's as small as being silly every now and again. Or just keeping a teddy.)

Pretty sure this is why Stolas has to hug himself to sleep. (Link for people that have no clue what I'm on about here)

3)stolitz- they finally talk, possibly confess and reconcile.

Yer this would be my bet for the one that's getting nicely tied up.

Best guess it'll be them both admitting they love eachother.

Because Blitz has spent the first 2 series pretending as hard as possible that he doesn't like Stolas, and definitely doesn't love him.

(Despite everyone around him, but Stolas, able to tell he's head over heels for his fluffy owl).

I'm not expecting miracles with our sweet dummies though.

That's kinda all I'm expecting to sort.

With them probably not full getting together because of issues they need to work though, the divorce, Stella's abuse and plot to kill Stolas, and Via being against them dating ect.

(She's gotta be called CockblOctavia for a reason after all. Ok had to add the other link to Brandon calling her that, cus too funny).

[louscartridge]

valintines day

i do not give permission for my fics to be posted claiming to be yours, translated, or posted on another platform.

cw- none, other then its not really proof read lmao

requested by ❄ anon

summary- ray and y/n have hated every valentines day, except the past year, in result of being able to spend them together.

a/n: i like never write for ray romanticly, and i think this might be like the only time im going to lol soz.

valentines day. one of the cheesiest, most annoying holidays ever. it was just a stupid excuse for people to (usually) spend unnecessary money on someone their dating, just for them to break up 2 months later.

thats what you thought before you got with ray. the two of you got together on valentines day, making the day a little less pointless to you. ray thought the same thing. every valentines day he was throwing a little tantrum about how its pointless, and embarrassing. continuously going in circles to henry, charlotte, jasper, and somewhat shwoz. "even Laylani left me! without an explanation! stupid frickin hawai" they would all have to hear him repeat every year.

luckily, last year that finally stopped. there was no complaints from ray about valentines that year at all, and since ray and y/n were still together, everyone assumed it was gonna be the same this year.

you woke up before ray in the room that you guys shared in the man cave. after brushing your teeth and putting a pair of sweatpants on, you went downstairs. you put your hand over the screen of the autosnacker. "scrambled eggs". once you got your eggs, you turned around to put your plate on the table behind you, just to turn back around towards the autosnacker again. "water melon".

shortly after you ate, you started to get tired again. you layed you head ontop of your arms on the table. just as you were almost asleep, you feel a pair of hands hit down onto your shoulders.

he pushed himself up onto your shoulders, jumping like a kid. "y/n!" it was ray.

"woah youre awake" you say sarcastically.

"yeah here" ray says as he shoves a few roses onto the table infront of you in a glass vase.

you open your eyes slightly. "thank you" you say looking at the flowers just to be cut off by henry and jasper walking in from the elevator. "yeah!" they both start clapping. "we dont have to hear ray complain again this year uh uh" jasper starts dancing. "oh my god im going back to sleep" you say turning your head so your face down into your arms.

a couple hours later, you wake up to the sound of the emergency alarm going off. you lift your head up with a groan. "uhgg" "oh come on you need to wake up anyway" schwoz said while waving some sort of gun looking device around. "ok so im gonna take this before something else gets blown up" charlotte said taking the weapon away from schwoz. "time to blow a bubble" "and fight trouble" ray finished. "ok that was kinda lame" henry scoffed. ray ignored henrys remark for once, and walked over to you. "oh and before i forget, here" ray said before handing you a somewhat small square box. "love you" he said wrapping his arms around your head. "love you too" you said back, with your head on his chest. "ok lets go!" ray said rather fast before going up the tubes with henry.

'second valentines day is a win' you think to yourself.

[strangeswift]

Will had assumed —reasonably so, he thought— that a year into the actual apocalypse, birthdays wouldn't be a very big deal. Maybe a passing acknowledgement, if that. Really, it felt a little selfish to expect anything at all. 

Like, People are dead, and your friend is still in a coma. She might not wake up. Congratulations on being alive, asshole. 

Though admittedly, for Will specifically, being alive was sort of an accomplishment in itself at this point, given everything. And Will was happy to be alive. Most of the time, at least. 

He just didn't expect anyone to throw a party about it. 

It wasn’t until Will groggily descended the Wheeler's stairs and spotted the notebook paper sign strung up in the kitchen, Happy Birthday Will, distinctly in Mike’s handwriting, that Will realized they were indeed doing the birthday thing. It still felt weird, but he couldn’t help the embarrassed smile that spread across his face as everyone in the kitchen sang Happy Birthday to him. Nor could he help the hammering in his chest when Mike made his way over to him and slung his arm across his shoulders midway through the song.

All in all, the day was fairly uneventful after that. They let him have the last can of SpaghettiOs for lunch while everyone else had watery vegetable soup, which was nice. 

He didn't have to go on the supply run they had planned for the day. Actually, he would rather have gone, especially since Mike went, but Mike was oddly insistent that Will stay behind, so he did. It wasn't until after Mike returned that Will found out why he had to stay behind. 

"Can you just trust me?” Mike asked.

“I do trust you,” Will said, “It’s just that letting the clumsiest person I know lead me down stairs blindfolded is a little nerve-racking.”

“I’m not gonna let you fall. Jesus,” Mike said, exasperated, as he slowly led Will down the basement stairs, “Just three more steps.”

Once they reached the bottom, Will asked, “Can I take this off now?” gesturing to the bandana that was tied over his eyes.

Mike answered by taking it off for him, and Will blinked as his eyes adjusted to the light. Mike looked incredibly pleased with himself, and Will soon saw why.

On the coffee table, set out on a plate, were two perfectly square brownies with chocolate frosting and rainbow sprinkles on top. A lit candle was sticking out of one of them.

"Where did you get these?" Will asked in disbelief. None of them had tasted anything sweet in months. "I know damn well you didn’t get this shit at the grocery store. Or Melvald's."

Mike grinned sheepishly. "Don't worry about it."

Will frowned "You– Where did you go for this?"

“Doesn’t matter,” Mike said, “just blow out your candle!”

“Mike,” Will said, crossing his arms.

Mike sighed, "You're relentless, you know that?"

Will looked at him expectantly. 

"The gas station on the other side of town, but it’s not a big–"

"Mike!" Will scolded, "What the hell is wrong with you? You went all the way across town? That is so not safe!"

Mike shrugged. "I didn’t go alone. I had Nancy and her big ass gun to keep me company,” he said, “Besides, it was for a good cause?” he tried.

“You’re an idiot,” Will said, grinning in spite of himself.

Mike grabbed his hand, and Will tried to ignore the fluttering in his stomach as Mike led him to sit on the couch in front of the coffee table.

Once they were sitting, Mike dropped his hand, but he stayed close. He knocked their knees together. “Go on. Make a wish,” he said quietly.

Will shook his head, searching Mike’s eyes. “I don’t have one,” he said.

Mike cocked his head. “There’s nothing you want?” he asked, a teasing smirk on his face.

Oh. Well, Will could think of one thing.

“I mean, maybe,” Will said, averting his eyes, “It’s stupid, though.”

“If it’s what you want, it’s not stupid,” Mike said firmly.

“Well, it’s embarrassing,” Will amended, flicking his eyes back to Mike, who leaned in, ever so slightly.

“I’m sure it’s not,” Mike said, “But you don’t have to tell me, anyway. Actually, you can’t tell me. If you do then it won’t come true.”

Will huffed a laugh. “I wouldn’t tell you anyway.”

"Fine," Mike said, "blow out your candle, make your secret wish."

Will laughed and leaned forward, blowing carefully on the candle and watching the small flame flicker and fade into a wisp of smoke.

"Think it'll come true?" Mike asked.

"I don't– I mean, probably not," Will said, "I'm still not telling you, though."

“Really?” Mike asked, pouting. “Can I guess? I think if I guess it, the wish is still valid.”

“I think you’re just making up wish rules now,” Will teased.

“Maybe,” Mike conceded. “Can I guess anyway?” he asked, leaning even closer – and god, he had no idea what he was doing to Will, did he?

Will raised his eyebrows. “You have guesses?”

“I have one,” Mike said.

It was a bad idea, Will thought, to let Mike guess. A very bad idea.

“Please, share,” Will said.

"Okay..." Mike said nervously, "Yeah, okay." His cheeks went a little pink, and he flicked his gaze down to Will’s lips. Or– No, that was probably… Wishful thinking. 

“God, I hope I’m right about this,” Mike breathed, and he leaned in even closer, so close their noses were almost touching. Will watched with wide eyes as Mike brought shaky hands up to cup his jaw.

Mike let out a breath, and Will could feel it on his lips. 

Mike closed his eyes, pressed forward, and kissed him.

Kissing Mike was nothing like Will expected it to be. It was soft and slow, and Will wanted to melt into it. He wanted to stay in the moment forever. If Vecna did come for him, that was the happy thought he would run to. He wouldn't even need music, just the memory of Mike's lips against his – that would be enough. 

Mike pulled back, and Will resisted the urge to chase him.

"Did I guess right?" Mike asked breathlessly, letting his hands slide down to rest gently on the sides of Will's neck.

"What?" Will asked, dazed. 

"Your wish," Mike said.

"Oh," Will said. "Yeah. That was– Yeah."

Mike beamed. "Cool," he said.

"Cool," Will repeated, a smirk playing at his lips.

Mike leaned back. "Now eat your birthday cake," he instructed. 

Will picked up one of the brownies. "These are gas station brownies," he pointed out.

"Birthday cake," Mike insisted. 

Will took a bite. It was heavenly. 

"Oh my god," he groaned, "I've missed sugar."

Mike picked up the other brownie, taking a bite. "Oh. Wow, yeah. Holy shit," he said, taking another bite. 

"It's so good," Will said, laughing giddily. He popped the last bite in his mouth.

Mike smiled warmly. "Happy birthday, Will."

"Thanks," Will said, "but if you ever risk your life for brownies again–"

"Oh come on," Mike said, "Cut me some slack. I was romancing you."

Will's eyes went wide. "You– What?" he squeaked. 

Mike flushed. "I mean– Whatever."

Will burst out laughing, and Mike couldn't help but join him. Somehow, Will felt years worth of tension dissolving as he laughed so hard tears began to form.

After a couple of minutes, they settled into comfortable silence, grinning at each other. "I want to kiss you again," Mike announced.

"Well, if that’s what you want," Will said, leaning in.

And for a little while, nothing else mattered. Just Mike, who was warm and tasted like chocolate, who was romancing him with stolen brownies and kissing him like he needed it.

It was a good birthday. 

[v3nusxsky]

Hello could I request sex pollen fix for Emily Prentiss?

Maybe the team is chasing some UnSub and they found this weird flowers and when reader and Emily are inspecting them it just blows up into their faces. At first it looks like it’s a normal pollen but when they get back to the hotel they start reacting.

Ofc Dom! Emily x sub! Reader

Thank you so much and have a wonderful day <33

Chemical Reaction 18+

*Authors note~ my first ever sex pollen trope ever ( @cissyenthusiast010155 has some amazing fics for this trope and some coming ;) for my lovely lady SSA prentiss*

Trigger warnings~ daddy Emily sub r sex pollen strap on mutual need mutual masturbation mentioned pinning praise kink

Prompt~see ask^^^^^

This UnSub was driving the team crazy, constantly changing its Victimolgy like it's a pass time. One thing was the same in each killing, the chemical used was plant based. Now the fact plants could kill if you knew what to do with them is terrifying, but knowing you were about to run into a mad plant scientists greenhouse was even scarier.

You and Emily were first at the greenhouse, sticking together as you entered, the UnSub was there working on something you assumed was his method of killing. "FBI, drop the vile!" Emily demanded, her gun aiming straight at the man. Your eyes trained on the man as you watched him grab a separate vile. A powder was thrown at yourself and Emily, what you thought was a rouse to distract you and allow him to escape. That was when the team came in and helped catch the UnSub. In all the adrenaline you'd not thought of what he threw at you, you seemed fine and you felt fine so that would support the fact of it being a placebo. Hotch still ordered you both be given the once over by the emergency services which you were and they couldn't pick up anything that appeared to be harmful or toxic so you were cleared to go back to the hotel.

Your hotel room was next door to Emily's, and Derek was on the other side of you and JJ on the other side of Emily. So you and Emily would have people around if anything happened due to whatever was thrown at you both,’ n you'd have help. You and Emily however thought this was an unnecessary measure, after all it appeared to be a normal substance, used to distract you and create an escape opportunity.

On cases, being stressed out wasn't uncommon for any of the team but how you all dealt with the stress was all unique to yourselves. For you it was getting into bed, a glass of red wine and a novel. Knowing yourself it would be some kind of fantasy romance or smutty novel. Right now you'd promised Garcia you'd read the fifty shades of grey novels. Not your normal style of reading material but none the less a promise is a promise. At first you thought it was just the words affecting you. It was no secret you were extremely submissive and that's what made you happiest. But the need growing in the pit of your stomach felt unnatural and overwhelming for what you're use to. You were struggling to concentrate on the words on the page as you squirmed around the bed with need.

Emily wasn't fairing any better. Her chosen method to relax was some her time. Emily being needy was a common occurrence especially when she was in the field with you. She saw how every muscle moved as you ran, or restrained an UnSub. That once case you'd had to go undercover at a bar and as part of the cover you'd shared a kiss. That case had Emily mercilessly pounding into her core with her favourite squirting cock. The same cock in fact that was not quelling the unexplainable desire to rail you into non existence. The desire to make you hers, to dominate you, to bring you to immense pleasure. But little did she know that's what you were craving in a similar situation next door.

Emily caved first, the need to have you overwhelming her to the point she decided to go and get what she wanted. You. Despite her dominance and confidence she still hesitated when it came to knocking on your door. What if you didn't like her in the way she did you? She wasn't sure if she could face another heartbreak. But that all changed when a whimper of pain floated to her ears. She had to make sure you were okay. Surprisingly, your door was easy for her to pick it's lock and let herself into your room. And the sight of you whimpering and withering in the middle of the bed, sheet's clearly damp with your arousal as you whined in a needy pain.

Being in close proximity to the woman you desire only made the need worse for you both, the pollen working stronger the closer you were to each-other. That was how he managed to get his victims, a little pollen on himself and on the selected person causing them to be drawn to the UnSub. It would've all made sense now if you could booth think clearly. However, that wasn't the case. Instead your thoughts clouded with lust and true desire.

"Em. Hurts, please Em" you whimpered after catching a glimpse of the woman. "Need you so bad. Please, please make it stop" your whines of need only adding to her already impossibly heightened arousal. "With pleasure" the raven head whispered  before coming to crawl over you, stealing a needy passionate kiss as you allowed her to take dominance and explore your mouth with her talented tongue.

The needy heat seemed to encase you both, almost impossible to stop now, Emily kissed her way to your neck where she could kiss, nip and suck on the sensitive skin that laid there. The mewls you were emitting you would've been embarrassed if you weren't on this pollen. Those noises were driving the older woman insane with need, the need to fuck you into exhaustion was now all that consumed her. It didn't take Emily long to shred the oversized shirt that was covering your body. Even her own night dress was very quickly discarded as your hands ran along her body.

Emily could see you were dripping more on the sheets and she knew that she herself was way past the point of needing foreplay. "Em, fuck my nightstand. Please god I need to you" you whimpered tugging her down to your lips again, unwilling to let Emily untangle herself from you even for a minute. "Angel? You gonna have to let me go to grab it" she murmured against your lips as you whimpered in though of losing her touch. "I'll be two seconds pretty doll."

Emily was just that, it wasn't long for to adorn the double ended strap on, it fit snugly inside her inner walls. She was wet enough there was hardly no resistance which caused a pleased whine to leave her. You couldn't tear your eyes from the faux dick. Even as Emily coated it in your juices your eyes remained trained on it the best you could. "If you don't fuck me soon I'm afraid I'll burst into flames" you whined causing Emily to silence you with a passionate kiss.

The cry that tore from your throat when you felt her entering your pussy was louder than you'd ever made. If you weren't on pollen you would've been embarrassed knowing Derek probably heard you. "Emily!" Something almost predatory flittered into her eyes, "oh angel, that's not my name is it?" She purred before moving her lips to suck on your pulse point and bringing a hand down to pinch your clit. "Fuck Daddy!" The cock being rested in your cunt not moving but all the other simulation driving you mad that you couldn't help but thrust your hips upwards.

"Oh doll, you need more? You need me to fuck you so hard I get you pregnant?" Emily panted as she began to bottom you out with every single thrust. Soon enough you were moving as if you were both in an animalistic heat. Never had you ever felt need like this before. But you weren't going to complain if it meant Emily kept fucking you like this. "Daddy! God please please daddy fuck me!" You squealed as you sprinted towards the edge of climax. "Fuck gonna cum for you angel. Cum!" That was all it took for you to be thrown over that edge into pools of heightened pleasure, screams tearing from your throat as you saw stars.

Now the pollen had been stated you could feel how sore your poor abused cunt was feeling, tears springing to your eyes. "Emily" you whimpered causing the older woman to slip from you soaked walls and immediately toss the strap aside and hold you close to her body. "Angel? I'm sorry I'm sorry I didn't mean to I couldn't control it" she apologised over and over with her hand gently scratching at your skull. "What was in that pollen?" You giggled soaking up the attention and soothing touches. "I don't know y/n but it was certainly something" Emily whispered before a yawn cut her off. "Stay" you whimpered and that she did.

Of course when you awoke and went to meet the team before boarding the plane, Derek couldn't hold eye contact, JJ looked at you both with knowing smirks and Rossi was conversing with Hotch about what could've caused such odd reactions. Spencer was a clueless as ever. "So you two, did the pollen give y/n a reaction?" JJ teased spotting the hickeys on your neck. "N-no?" You whimpered feeling embarrassed and shy at them seeing them. You weren't embarrassed of Emily rather knowing you felt worthless compared to anyone else who could want her. "Daddy? Oh sorry Prentiss, your girl is rather loud I thought you were murdering her" Morgan teased causing you to flush bright red and Emily to come and hold your waist, your back to her front as she kissed your neck, "jealous because my game is better than yours?"

Word count~ 1705

[litmisfit]

— 𝙒𝙃𝙀𝙍𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝘿 𝙔𝙊𝙐𝙍 𝙎𝙋𝙄𝙉𝙀 𝙂𝙊? (𝙄 𝙆𝙉𝙊𝙒 𝙄’𝙑𝙀 𝙂𝙊𝙏 𝙉𝙊𝙉𝙀)

—.🌿. PAIRING. hwang hyunjin x f!reader

—.🌿. TW. cursing. violence. murder. death. blood and injury. gore. severe ptsd. heavy trauma. mental health issues. animal death. use of guns and knives. hint of suicide (hardly there tbh.) slight mentions of an afterlife? reader being a bit of a bitch but she’s just stressed tf out. arguing. just another heavy one.

—.🌿. GENRE. tlou!au. angst. slight fluff.

—.🌿. NOTES. this is the first one i’m rewriting from the works i made previously. i apologize for it not being the best, especially since the ending felt way too rushed but it is what it is. there's also a lot of going for the neck in this. idk why its just an easy part to strike ig. anyway, like i mentioned in my last fic, chan and minho are still roughly 10 years older than the rest for plot purposes. other than that, i hope you enjoy!! :))

—THE SOUND OF waves echoed off concrete. the water violent as its tune bounced around the empty parking garage, leaving a faint twang of salt in the air. it masked the scent of rain. the familiar musk of wet dirt and stone was nowhere to be found.

y/n’s hands shook slightly, gun weighing a thousand times more than normal. her grasp was tight and left little imprinted diamonds on her skin. it matched the grip of her weapon, fingers growing antsy and nervous for the trigger.

she stared off into the distance. she noted how the rough tides and the murky grey of the overhead storm blended together, the occasional flash of lightning brightening the bleak clouds. she swallowed thickly.

“our best bet is to be sneaky.” she heard han state from behind her, her back facing the group as they planned for their next course of action. “we don’t know who could be in there. we don’t know how many there are and we don’t know where they could be hiding. we can’t go in there looking for a fight we aren’t ready for.”

y/n felt several pairs of eyes burn her back. it was obvious who han was talking about, making her grit her teeth.

“as of right now, chan’s our main priority. we know he knows abby is held up here," he pointed towards the red 'x' crossing over the birdseye image of the seattle seafront aquarium. "so it’s safe to assume he’s headed that way if he’s not there already.” he motioned to the markers of interstate numbers, flattening the paper out slightly over the hood of an abandoned car. “going along highway 80, if we stick to that route, it’s a straight shot there. we could make it in a few hours max. at least by sundown.”

“what about boat?”

the voice of y/n caused the group to peer up, surprised by her voice after being silent for so long. she turned around and crossed her arms over her damp raincoat.

changbin’s brows furrowed. “what do you mean?”

“the water.” she gestured out. “it's the quickest between the two. if we find one by the coastline, we could make it there and back by dusk.” she shrugged. “besides if we’re trying to be sneaky, it’s a lot better this way. we can come from behind. they won’t expect that. and with the highway, we’re out in the open and completely vulnerable. it’ll blow our cover."

han frowned and looked out past her, eyeing the angry sea. he glanced back and solemnly shook his head. “i’m sorry, y/n. it’s too risky, especially with this storm coming in. we could be thrown overboard and we’d be fucked then. besides, i.n. and felix can’t swim. it’s too dangerous.”

“then i can go.” she stepped forward. “it’s better than gambling all our lives.”

“absolutely not.” felix cut in.

“i’ll be fine. come on, hyunjin,” she peered over at her boyfriend. he looked at her and gnawed on the skin of his lip. his face was twisted in a mix of disapproval and unease. “you agree with me, right?”

he sucked in a breath and swallowed. “i’m sorry, but han’s right. it’d be reckless.”

a humorless laugh sent shivers down the group’s spine. “you fucking serious?” the bitter smile she had flipped into a scowl, hues aflame with a sense of betrayal. “abby could be over there as we fucking speak!”

“and i understand that, but chan—“ han was instantly shut down.

a look sharper than any blade was pointed at him, to all of them. “don’t you fucking dare.” she growled, tone dripping with venom. “don't you dare say you understand because you don’t. none of you do.” their backs stiffened when they met her gaze. “you weren't there! you didn’t see what she did to him! what they all did! you didn’t see the way they beat him until he couldn’t get up, or move, or to EVEN FUCKING SPEAK! his knee was literally blown out and they just kept beating him over and over and over until the only thing left of his head was goddamn brain matter!” her chest heaved with staggered breaths. cheeks flushed red and eyes wild, she continued ripping into these boys. “and you didn’t see him die. you weren’t pinned down. you weren’t kicking, or screaming, or crying, or fighting as they beat his head in with a fucking golf club! you didn’t see the way it broke through his fucking skull and you didn’t see the way he just laid there and accepted what was going to happen! so don't say you understand because you fucking don’t!”

a beat passed by, no one willing to make a sound.

y/n exhaled after a moment. “i’m not trying to play the ‘my trauma’s worse than yours’ game. i know you all lost someone important to you as well, but this is the best chance we got.”

silence.

“so, i’m going after abby.” she said, meeting each of their eyes. “whether or not you do, that’s your choice. but don’t you forbid me of mine.”

"y/n-" she heard felix start, but turned, not giving him time to voice his concerns. she hurried for the exit, ignoring the quick flash of lightning illuminating the wet streets and the roll of thunder that followed.

she refused to acknowledge the distant shouts of her name when she met the chill of icy rain against her skin.

yet, just as she was starting toward the coast, a soft hand caught her shoulder. she was turned and met the eyes of hyunjin. they flooded with a sense of panic and heartbreak, making the anger she still held onto extinguish instantly.

"y/n," he shook his head. "love, please don't do this." he begged.

y/n sighed, licking her chapped lips. "i can't." her voice was soft, carrying a faint twist of desperation that nearly got lost in a passing wind. "i can't, hyunjin. you know this. i need to find her."

"and we will. we will and we'll make sure abby pays for what she and the rest of her friends did." he reassured. "but you can't go this alone. it'd be careless."

"i don't care." she was quick with her words and the tone she spoke it with made his chest tighten.

his brows furrowed. "but, i do." he watched her jaw clench. "please. we- we can find a boat or another way or just something-"

"and have the possibility of letting her get away?" y/n exasperated. "fat fucking chance."

he let out a shaky exhale. "then i'm coming with you." he spoke.

he watched her eyes harden, pretty e/c hues he's grown to love so much fall a few shades darker.

"no you're not." she frowned, feeling the stray droplets of rain trail down her damp skin. "you're not. you're staying here where it's safe."

"i'm not letting you go alone. i can't and i won't-"

"i'm not gonna risk you getting killed, especially since we don't know what we're walking into." y/n jumped in, watching the pain in hyunjin's face morph into desperation. "don't fight me on this."

"and you expect me to just let you walk straight into your grave?" he exasperated, brows pulled up in bewilderment. "you said it yourself, we don't know what's waiting for us and that includes you." he points towards her. "and you think you basically sacrificing yourself is gonna do anything except just cause more bloodshed? you bursting in there ready to kill anything on impulse will not only get you killed but could get the rest of us, too. it's selfish and careless and would lead to minho's death to be for nothing. so stop acting like you're the only one dealing with problems and think about how your selfishness will affect us, especially since you can't seem to get your goddamn emotions under control."

with each word slipping past hyunjin's lips, the more y/n's face would fall. a frown was painted on her features, cheeks flushed from the cold rain and the embarrassment of being called out by the person she loves most in the world. what he said stung and bled and made the ache that was always present in her chest grow until it nearly hurt to breathe.

her eyes fluttered at him, lashes forcing her tears in place. no, she will not cry. not now. not until her job is done.

her jaw clenched and dug her nails into the palm of her hand. "then go back to jackson." she growled, using a tone that made hyunjin's face drop. "if you're so worried about you or the rest of the guys dying, then go back home. i've said it before and i'll say it again: i'm going after abby whether you like it or not, whether you join me or not. i don't care what happens or if i die because i'm not letting that bitch get by with what she's done. i'll do whatever it takes. so since i'm selfish, go back home."

he shook his head, feeling a surge of regret pool in his stomach. "no, y/n, i-i di-"

"i said to go back home, hyunjin. take the guys and go home. i'm not fucking asking." she snapped.

"b-but-"

"go hyunjin!" she barked, watching him wince from the anger he saw boiling in her voice. "fucking leave!"

she saw him take a half step back, ignoring the pain that flashed in his eyes from the strike of nearby lightning. she bit the inside of her cheek, the familiar twinge of metal seeping to her tongue that gave her a sick sense of comfort, but held her ground.

she smothered the guilt boiling in her gut from the sight of hyunjin's eyes glistening with tears with the rage pumping in her veins. so, she turned, not giving the man who held her heart in his hands a spare glance as she headed deeper into the abandoned city.

hyunjin swallowed thickly and blinked, feeling a stray tear fall to blend with the rain soaking his skin. he stayed still with his feet made of lead and unable to move. he was left there, standing in the pouring rain in a wasteland of skyscrapers and ghosts as he watched the very woman he'd die for leave, not knowing if this was her last day.

he prayed to god it wasn't.

the ground shook under her boots. a roll of thunder roared overhead that was soon followed by a flash of light. it illuminated the maze of seattle. tall buildings were left bare and forgotten. ivy and moss clung to their walls, the planet slowly taking back what was once hers until it would crumble.

the rain continued on. it was heavy and cold, soaking y/n's clothes and chilling her to the core. she let out a breath. a small cloud slipped past her lips.

the way to the coastline wasn't eventful and y/n hoped it would stay that way. she avoided the open, sticking to the outskirts and backroads to the shore until she could feel the burn of salt in her nose.

angry waves lapped upon the sand, foaming at the teeth before pulling out only to do it once again. it was as if nature itself was begging for slaughter.

however, y/n wasn't focused on the anger the earth portrayed but was instead fixated on the pier standing strong against the brutal swings the water had to offer. the sight of a lonely motorboat was left tied to a pillar, rocking in solitude.

a surge of excitement made y/n's chest leap. it should be fairly simple from here on out: get the boat running, head to the aquarium, kill anything that gets between her and abby, and then abby herself. it was easy and an opening so perfect was placed right in front of her.

however, just as her boot sunk into the grit of sand, a mix of several voices approached. her breath hitched and cursed quietly to herself before darting behind a nearby bush.

their words were quiet at first, yet gained more clarity the closer they came. by their tones, y/n could deduce they were all men. the realization made another swear fall softly from her lips. she peeked around, making sure to keep her figure masked by leaves.

"i'm so fucking done with this job, man. next time issac wants someone to do his dirty work, imma tell him to shove it up his ass." she heard one say. he was blonde, y/n noted, rather average height and lean under the jacket he was wearing, one that matched the other two. they must be from the same community.

"can you stop fucking bitching for five goddamn minutes, rick? i'm tired of hearing you whine, makes me wanna shoot myself." the tallest of the group, brown hair and a scruffy beard, pressed. he used a hand to pinch his nose.

"piss off. like you weren't doing the same thing on the way here." the shortest detested, following the other two up the dock.

y/n could feel her jaw clench. they couldn't have that boat, not under her watch. she swallowed thickly before sneaking forward, remaining low to the ground and gun cocked.

the trio was too busy preparing for the trip back and bickering over how they weren't getting paid enough for such shitty jobs. this gave y/n an outlet to strike. before any of the men knew it, the tallest was forced down, taking a blow to the back of his right knee.

y/n's arm wrapped tight around his neck with the barrel of her glock pressed harshly to his temple. the man in her grasp shouted obscenities, causing the others to pull their own weapons.

"the boat," she said, nodding towards it. "i want the boat."

"drop it, kid." the blonde ordered. he had his own revolver pointed toward her. "don't be stupid."

"i want the boat." she ignored him. "i'm not fucking asking. give it to me and you'll live."

the other snickered, a smile reeking of smugness painted across his face. he dropped his gun. "bullshit." he sneered. the look in his eyes made y/n's jaw clench. "a fucking kid like you doesn't have the balls to-"

BANG!

his body fell back, a hole the size of a golf ball replacing the space of a left blue eye. y/n didn't blink when she pulled the trigger nor when the back spray of his death hit her skin.

"josh!" the man in her grasp screamed, watching his friend's body slide limply into the violent waters. a pool of red crept up and swallowed the fresh corpse.

the sight of their friend being gunned down sent the other two into overdrive. the man who struggled in y/n's hold was able to throw an elbow backward, having it meet her nose with a sickening crack. the force caused her to fall and land on her back, her bag barely doing much to cushion her.

she wheezed, feeling the wind knock out of her lungs and nose surely broken. "fuck," she forced out. blood seeped from her nostrils. crimson painted the skin of her lips and dyed the whites of her teeth, tastebuds filled with iron.

a cough racked her body just as her foot was caught. y/n's hues blew wide in panic, the guy who bashed her face pulled her towards him.

"you fucking bitch!" he cursed, yanking her up in a position much like the one he was in.

y/n kicked and swung and tried to wiggle her way out of his limbs. yet, it was bound to fail. compared to him, she was nothing more than the size of a child. the curve of his elbow came around and locked tight around her throat before squeezing.

y/n gasped. her airway was being cut off.

"imma fucking gut you! watch you bleed out!" the man growled in her ear.

black spots were beginning to cloud her vision. they faded in and out and picked up the faster she panted in fear. however, just as the darkness was going to take her completely, the sight of the man's other hand came into view.

she didn't think and instead bit down. she caught his thumb between her teeth and pulled, snapping through bone and pulling the meat until his finger separated from his body.

a cry of agony filled the air as she spat out the removed digit. she could feel the heat of his blood dribble down her chin. she hit the floor, palm coming around to soothe the pain in her neck with violent coughs racking her body.

"holy shit!" the blonde exclaimed, dumbfounded from watching his friend's hand get ripped into. she took his shock and used it against him, climbing to her feet and charging his way. she slammed into him and dug her shoulder into his gut, causing them both to fall and the revolver to fly from his hands.

she was quick when she pulled a switchblade from her pocket. she drove it down, slamming the knife deep into the flesh of his throat. she watched him gasp. his hands came up to wrap around hers, staring at her in a sense of fright.

he coughed, vermillion splattering across y/n's already stained face. "rot in hell." y/n spat and yanked out her weapon, only to drive it back down into his chest.

the blonde tried to cry out but had his voice lost in a gurgle. it was only seconds until y/n watched his eyes roll back before falling limp.

she stood and hurriedly grasped his forgotten gun. she walked towards the only other person left alive, watching him shake as he tried to stop the bleeding of his missing thumb.

she had it pointed at him, ready to pull the trigger until something caught her eye. she paused, feeling her heart skip at the sight of an all too familiar jacket.

the windbreaker he wore was dark. it wasn't anything fancy, yet sported a patch on the upper part of the right sleeve. an upside-down triangle was stitched into the material, a biting wolf staring back at her with the letters w.l.f sitting above it.

"wlf," y/n muttered. "you're a fucking wlf!"

the guy didn't respond.

"abby anderson." she stated. "where is she?"

“i-i don’t know,” he muttered

y/n snarled and drilled her switchblade into the meat of his thigh, causing him to scream out.

“where is she?” she repeated.

the man shook his head. his chest rose up and down at a rapid pace. "i-i don't know! we work in separate units! the-the last i heard about her was that she ran off! only a few people know where she went!”

y/n grit her teeth. “who?”

he shook his head, tears swelling in his eyes from the deep ache in his leg.

a twist of the knife ripped a cry of anguish from his throat. y/n’s grip tightened on the blade, turning it some more until he caved in.

“owen!” he shouted. “o-owen moore! that’s who she ran off after! m-maybe manny alvarez knows where she is, too!”

y/n’s darkened hues narrowed at the male whimpering by her hand. she made a mental note of the two names and stood, ripping her weapon from his skin.

another yelp as he reached for his wound, hand barely grazing the puncture before a shot rang out.

he fell back with wide eyes and unmoving limbs. a bullet hole was blown into his skull, splattering grey and red brain matter all over the sandy beach. y/n dropped her hand, revolver heavy in her grasp as she tucked it into her thigh holster.

“fucking cunts.” she hissed with a wince, a strike of pain shooting up her broken nose.

she left the fresh corpses to rot and lay forgotten. she grabbed the rope that had the boat tied in place and pulled out the knot and jumped into it.

it took a few tries for the motor to start, spurting before roaring to life. a small smile crept its way up to y/n’s lips, happy to note she was one step closer to her end goal. now situated and ready, she kept the same phrase echoing over and over in her mind.

i'm coming for you, abby.

as much as she hated to say it, han was right about one thing: the waters were deadly. the tides were vicious and craved death, nearly sending y/n over more times than she could count. the fact she was able to make it to her destination was due to pure determination, and if not determination, then by dumb luck.

she couldn't care either way honestly as she was finally here. she stood out in the open lobby. the walls were painted a brilliant blue, matching the colors of a nice spring day. abandoned stands were left forgotten. a snack bar, souvenirs, and an information desk remained a distant memory to those who lived before the outbreak decades ago.

little cartoon pictures of sea animals smiled at y/n the deeper she walked in. she recognized several of them from learning in school though much of her education was used to prepare the new generation for survival. the small fraction of science class she had helped her with identifying such creatures. she noted a mother otter, her baby much smaller laying on her belly. there was a dolphin, eyes unnaturally bright for an animal painted on dry wall. there were clams, jellyfish, and octopi hanging around. there was even a bronze statue of a sea lion balancing a ball on the tip of its nose.

what caught her eye the most was the giant blue whale sculpture that hung overhead. it was massive and hung by wires drilled into the tall ceiling. the sight made her frown.

everything left behind was covered in thick layers of dust. plants made it home, crawling up the walls and swung from the lonely creature strung high. the windows were foggy from dirt and the air held a staleness that could make a throat go dry in seconds.

once a vibrant place, loved by many and cherished deeply, turned into a graveyard of past memories. y/n grew up years after the outbreak began. this new wave of teens and kids much like her would never have the luxury of experiencing such excitement, not with the lurking shadow of death standing behind them.

she felt pity. pity for those like her and pity for those who weren't. the ones who never got too experience and the ones who had that were then forced to let it go. it was unfair to everyone.

y/n shook her head and wielded such a sad thought away. there's no point in grieving what wasn't hers to grieve. instead she headed for the stairs that lead to the upper floor. there was a tunnel when she reached the top. it was dim in the darkened building, yet had enough light provided by the empty tanks running along the sides.

she trekked through, eyes and ears open for threats that could be hidden. she noted how similar it was to a maze, hallways opening to offer another route of entertainment and ones that closed off, pushing an audience of excited children and cheerful parents to the next attraction.

she peered around in curiosity. she wondered what happened to the animals that were left when the staff disappeared. were they dead? probably. it was a disheartening answer, but one that rang true. it was much better than living during a time when the earth slowly began to kill off what was poisoning it and remained neglected and alone. that way whatever afterlife they go to, they'd be cared for the way they should've been.

the sudden sound of clicking pulled y/n out of mind. it was tapping against linoleum, like claws against the floor.

a blink of an eye and y/n felt herself be knocked back, a set of baring teeth snapping towards her. a large german shepard stood over her. it was large in size, sporting a black vest with the same patch as the men from the dock.

the dog must've picked up on her scent, deeming her an intruder. the ears were pinned back flat against its head and hues blown wide with anger from its territory being threatened. its nails dug into the material of y/n coat, piercing small holes into the sleeve of the arm she used to hold the canine off.

"fuck!" she cried, dodging the fangs that hungered for her blood. she panted for breath, anxiety filling her core as she tried to kick the dog back. no use, it'd jump back once again.

it barked and growled and echoed off the walls. she prayed no one around could her the commotion. it'd just blow her cover.

she was able to pull her blade from her pocket, sticking it there when she left for the aquarium back on the shore. she flipped it open before jamming the blade into the side of the snapping animal's neck. a yelp was heard before the force that was fighting back lightened. the dog slumped to the ground, a small pool of blood darkening it's caramel fur.

y/n gasped and sprung to her feet. she held her knife out fearful it would reanimate just to eat her alive once more.

her shaky palm lowered once she deemed it not a threat anymore. it laid lifeless, tongue flopping out the side of its jowl, and stared into the dark pool of nothing.

a pang of guilt twisted in her stomach only to squash it just as fast as it came. survival is all it boils down to, no matter the circumstance, and she hoped the dog's barking didn't challenge that.

thankfully, it seemed as if it didn't as the sound of muffled and distant voices became known. they sounded hushed and she couldn't make out what was said. so, she followed it. whether or not they knew she was there, it didn't stop her of what she came to do.

she followed the sound to two metal double doors. staff only, it said. y/n ignored it and slowly popped it open. she was sure to keep it quiet and softly shut it behind her. she could see two others in the room. they stood off in the middle and didn't seem to notice the girl who ducked down behind a nearby desk.

"people don't come back from that island." a woman spoke. she had short hair and tired eyes, staring at the dirty blonde man across from her with plea. her voice shook.

"how many times has abby risked her life for you?" he spit back.

a familiar name caught y/n's attention. she swallowed and reached to her thigh holster, pulling out her glock.

"she chose this. i'm not fucking going there."

"then don't!" the man barked. "go back."

a beat went by. y/n watched the female take a step back, a sense of betrayal written heavy on her tired features. then, she spoke. "fuck you, owen."

owen. owen moore. this must be the guy the wlf mentioned on the beach. the person abby went after.

the woman turned to leave, but stopped when she was met with a gun to the face. y/n stood, finger resting on the trigger.

"hands up." y/n ordered, tone strong. the two followed, showing her their palms. "where's abby?" she asked.

she noticed a small twitch in owen's hues. it screamed familiarity. "you're that girl from jackson." he remembered her. he remembered her screams and her cries. he burned her threats to memory as he watched, letting the anderson girl beat and kill one of the only people y/n considered family. the man who took her in and traveled across state lines to the fireflies. the man who was once cold but turned warm. the man who saved her life more time than she could count. the man she considered her brother, and owen let that happen.

y/n ignored his comment. "tell me where she went." she pressed.

"how do we know you won't kill us?" the woman questioned.

"give her what she wants and we're dead."

y/n shook her head at their claims. "you guys can survive this. i just need her."

"bullshit." owen snapped, face hardening.

y/n didn't answer but pulled out a folded paper from her back pocket, flipping it open. it was a map. "you." she pointed at the woman with her weapon. "come here."

she remained still.

"fucking get over here!" y/n snapped, feeling a sense of rage fill her bones from her instructions being ignored.

the stranger obeyed and took timid steps over. she kept her eye on the gun.

"point to where she is. and then you." she gestured towards the man. "it better fucking match up."

"okay," the lady breathed. her voice shook violently. her response made owen call out.

"what're you doing?!"

"she's probably dead anyway." she bit back.

owen shook his head and took steps over. "it isn't worth it-"

"stop." y/n stated. owen continued on.

"we can talk about--"

"back the fuck up!" y/n growled, nearly pulling the trigger. he froze in his tracks, having the barrel mere inches away from his face. she glanced back at the woman. "point to where she is." she ordered again.

no move. no sound. nothing. "i said fucking point!" y/n snapped, now aiming towards the woman.

as soon as she moved, owen dashed forward. he took her hand and tried to wiggle the weapon from her grasp. her grip was like iron from his prying fingers. y/n pulled back a fist and swung. she could feel her knuckles meet his nose with a force that cracked it. it was surely broken much like the state hers is in now.

as soon as he let go, y/n shot. a bang echoed off the bare walls and rang violently in her ears. she watched him fall to the floor with a bullet running though his stomach.

"owen!" the other cried. y/n turned just in time to catch a dagger coming her way. the two wrestled, y/n having her gun kicked away and now fighting against the blade inching towards her neck.

y/n could feel the woman twist her. her shoulder blades were slammed against a nearby desk, allowing the woman to use both hands for strength. y/n pressed back, keeping the sharp edge from slitting her throat.

y/n decided to swing her leg out and slam her knee into the stranger's side. the impact sent the woman falling, dropping her knife on the way down. now free, y/n was able to spring forward, stealing the blade from the lady's reach and slamming it deep into the side of her neck.

y/n jumped up and reached for her gun. her hands shook with the adrenaline pumping through her system, ready to shoot in case she moved once more.

a cough pulled her away. she peered over and noticed owen's injured frame on the floor. his grey shirt now stained a deep red. gore pooled down the sides of his mouth and dripped on the ground beneath them. he was gasping, yet each breath he took was harder than the next. it was as if he was choking on his own blood and y/n hoped he was.

she walked over to him and watched as he reached out, trying to speak through gurgles.

"tell me where abby is." she demanded, aiming down at him.

he choked, unable to form coherent words. "s-she..."

y/n's brows knit together in anger. she was getting nowhere. she kneeled down and jabbed the barrel of her pistol against his throat. "where the fuck is she?" she hissed through gritted teeth.

owen's voice struggled. through his attempt to talk, only one word managed to slip past his lips. a word that took the fire burning in her and turned it to ice.

her face fell instantly and stood, making her way over toward the dead woman's body. y/n flipped her over on her back before pulling at the buttons of the thick winter jacket she had on. her breath caught.

the hoodie she had on hid a baby bump.

the sight of it made her stop. her feet were weak under her and felt her legs slowly start to give in. a familiar sensation of tightness contracted in her chest. panic flooded over her, shaking hands aiding when he fell to her knees.

"fuck..." she whispered, staring at the corpse. "oh, fuck..."

the ache in her lungs only grew. it was as if she couldn't fill them up enough to breathe, much like a heavyweight sitting on top of her. she brought her palm up and pressed against her breastbone. the only sound she could hear was a shrill ring, masking the echo of her hyperventilation. oxygen felt limited as she tugged harshly at the neckline of her jacket, hoping it would help in some way. it didn't.

however, as soon as the burn of tears met her eyes, a call of her name pulled her back to the present.

she jumped up and aimed, ready for a fight. she paused slightly, meeting the faces of her friends. soaked and shaken, they were all there: changbin, felix, han, i.n., seungmin, hyunjin, and chan. changbin and han stepped forward, scouting the room for any hidden threats.

chan was the closest to her, hands held up to show no harm. his eyes were wide with shock. he looked the same way he did when he ran off, yet now sported a gnarly gash above his left brow. otherwise, he looked relatively fine.

"hey, hey..." chan eased, watching her drop her arm. she could see them sparing glances at the scene behind her, all caused by her hand.

the sight of hyunjin's face twisted when he noticed the pregnant lady. y/n saw him take a quick breath in. she noticed them all do that, han and changbin stopping in their tracks, and sharing glances with each other.

her hues fluttered and shook her head. " i..." she whispered, "i didn't know." she broke.

she felt his hand crawl up her arm and gave it a small squeeze. "it's alright." he reassured. "come on. we need to go."

he ushered her forward, noting how hyunjin jumped to her side. his hand fell to her lower back and helped guide her out. she struggled slightly against him. "i'm sorry."

"it's okay. you're okay." she could hear felix pipe in. she saw both him and i.n. take place behind her, shielding her view of the massacre she left behind.

she felt hyunjin's touch travel up to wrap around her shoulders and pulling her close. she kept muttering the same things over and over. i didn't know. i'm sorry.

hyunjin tilted his head down and spoke softly in her ear.

"it's okay, my love. we're here now."

her leg continued to bounce, the heel of her sneaker barely grazing the floor. she was bent over with her bloodied and bruised face in her equally damaged hands, careful of her broken nose. she kept her eyes screwed shut. she was hoping the darkness flooding her vision would mask the sight that never seemed to go away.

the bodies of owen and the pregnant woman were burnt into her mind. the realization she killed not only two, but three people earlier today.

she sucked a shaky breath in and held it for a moment before exhaling. it was the same exercises felix taught her and the ones hyunjin enforced when he noticed her begin to spiral. it wasn't working this time.

the picture of her boyfriend's face flickered through her thoughts. the shock falling over his pretty features, the heartbreak pooling in his irises, and the way he froze seeing the carnage y/n committed. they were all like that.

on the way back, no one spoke a word. it was silent between them and it felt too suffocating. no one had to say anything though. nothing said could've soothed the unease surrounding them. she could sense what they felt: uncertainty, pity, nervousness, and fear. perhaps because of what they now know what she's truly capable of. wreckage. slaughter. revenge. desperation.

whatever the cause, it still felt like fire on her skin. it crawled down her spine and burned. she prayed to whatever was out there that they weren't what she thought. that her friends, her family basically, weren't scared of her.

the sound of a door caused her to jump. she peered up from her spot on the chair and saw hyunjin enter the room; a bucket, cloth, and first aid kit in grasp.

he walked over to her and crouched down, placing his things on the floor. y/n swallowed. through the dim lights of the vanity next to her, she could see the wear and tear of hyunjin's form. his shoulders were slumped, palms scarred, and lip raw.

she waited for him to speak. he didn't. he only reached out and took her dirty hand in his, using the rag dipped in water to wipe away at the red staining her flesh.

he worked slowly. his touch was soft and gentle, hardly applying any pressure to her sore knuckles. he didn't make a move to look up at her and focused on his actions instead.

that was worse than being screamed at.

a pause went by.

"i know you're mad." she stated, tone frail. "just say what you want to say."

it took a moment for him to respond. "i'm not mad, y/n." he muttered.

her brows furrowed in confusion. "you should be."

he nodded. "i should be, but i'm not." he glanced up and met her gaze. his brown hues that were once bright now dulled and decorated with dark circles. he gave her a weak smile. "i'm just disappointed."

y/n frowned. that wasn't any better either.

"what you did was dangerous, you know that right?" he paused his movements. "it was careless and dumb, and i was terrified." his face twisted in an emotion y/n couldn't pinpoint. "i was so scared of what could've happened to you. when you left, i made the guys follow your tracks and came across bodies and i was so, so scared of one of them being you."

"i know." y/n whispered with guilt eating her soul.

"my heart bleeds for you constantly," he said. "every minute of every day and to see you be so..." he tried to find his words. "so stupid with your life breaks me. if you died, i don't know what i'd do or how i'd function. you mean way too much to me to let something like that happen." he breathed before a look of regret fell on his face.

y/n watched his tongue dart out to wet his chapped lips, blistered and scarred with teeth marks. "but i did."

y/n blinked at him. "what?" she asked in disbelief.

"i..." he struggled. "i drove you away." he swallowed. "when you wanted to go across the water... you were so fixated on doing it that way, so determined, and i was scared. i-i didn't want you to go. i didn't want you to get hurt... but you weren't listening to me, to any of us."

he sniffled slightly, feeling the tears burn in his waterline. he glanced down and willed them away with a shake of the head. "and i know how you are. as much as i love how stubborn you are, it can be so challenging to get you to see the other side sometimes. i knew there was no way around it and that you were gonna do what you wanted, so i wanted to follow. all it ended in was an argument with things i never should've said." he peered up at her. "minho meant everything to you. you were with him for so long traveling across the country. he saved you and you saved him on so many occasions. he was practically your brother. he was your entire world... until your fight. i-i don't know what was said or what really happened, but you weren't the same since then, since you started to ignore him. i saw the light in you basically disappear overnight and i haven't seen it again. and- and then abby... what she did, what you saw, i cannot fathom the things you feel. the pain, the guilt, the hatred, the rage..."

y/n sat still, jaw clenching with every word her boyfriend spoke.

"you say we lost someone important too which we have, but you..." he gave her hand a squeeze. "you lost everything that day." she squeezed back. "and for me to call you selfish and to say you don't have control over your emotions, it was a fucking dick move. all you wanted was to avenge minho and I used it against you and i am so, so sorry, y/n."

y/n didn't notice the dampness on her cheeks until she felt hyunjin's thumb wipe some away. she gulped. "i-i'm sorry, too. i was completely out of line and blinded with ignorance to see that you guys were just trying to help. that you were just trying to find a plan that was the safest and i threw a bitch fit about it. i can't apologize enough about how stupid i was being."

hyunjin let out a weak chuckle. "guess we're both just assholes then, yeah?"

y/n snickered softly, nose stuffy. "yeah. guess so."

she felt his hand come up to push her damp hair from her face, raking it back with calloused fingers. "i love you, you know that right?" he muttered gently.

"i love you, too." her voice was just as low.

he leaned in and placed a kiss on her lips. the taste of forgiveness was sweet on their tongues, pushing down the bitterness of anger. they both held onto it and drank it in. it soaked into their chest and wedged itself through their bones, making a perfect place home right next to their heart. through it, a silent promise was made.

where you go, i go. no matter where.