#and bea's refuses to forgive him as his girlfriend

[ladysophiebeckett]

they're only dating in one of these caps but out of context it looks like they've been dating the entire goddamn time.

[ash-and-books]

Rating: 5/5

Book Blurb: Perfect for fans of Nina LaCour, This is Me Trying is a profound and tender YA contemporary novel exploring grief, love, and guilt from author Racquel Marie.

Growing up, Bryce, Beatriz, and Santiago were inseparable. But when Santiago moved away before high school, their friendship crumbled. Three years later, Bryce is gone, Beatriz is known as the dead boy’s girlfriend, and Santiago is back.

The last thing Beatriz wants is to reunite with Santiago, who left all her messages unanswered while she drowned alone in grief over Bryce’s death by suicide. Even if she wasn’t angry, Santiago’s attempts to make amends are jeopardizing her plan to keep the world at arm’s length—equal parts protection and punishment—and she swore to never let anyone try that again.

Santiago is surprised to find the once happy-go-lucky Bea is now the gothic town loner, though he’s unsurprised she wants nothing to do with him. But he can’t fix what he broke between them while still hiding what led him to cut her off in the first place, and it’s harder to run from his past when he isn’t states away anymore.

Inevitably drawn back together by circumstance and history, Beatriz and Santiago navigate grief, love, mental illness, forgiveness, and what it means to try to build a future after unfathomable loss.

Review:

Bryce, Beatriz, and Santiago were childhood best friends... but after Bryce's suicide, the friendship is shattered, pains and scars are created, and now three years later Beatriz and Santiago must face each other again. Bryce, Beatriz, and Santiago grew up as best friends, with Beatriz and Bryce dating yet Santiago was also in love with Bryce. They were all so close... until one day Bryce and Santiago got into a huge fight and Santiago left... and then things only spiraled further when Bryce commits suicide and leaves them all fractured. Now three years late, Santiago is back in Beatriz's life, after never answer any of her messages, after leaving her alone, after abandoning her... he has moved back in town. Beatriz isn't the same girl he knew, she isn't the best friend he cherished, in fact, she is now goth and refuses to even admit he exists to her. Santiago knows he can't fix what he broke between them yet he can't help but want to try. Santiago hasn't told Beatriz the truth about why he left her, about why he never answered any of her messages for three years, but the more time he spends trying to get to know the new her, the more he finds himself doing the unthinkable, falling for his dead best friend/crush's girlfriend. Beatriz and Santiago have a history filled with friendship, hurt, love, and grief, and now they'll have to find a way to navigate the old hurts as well as face the truth of what happened between them and the grief that they are still dealing with. This was a beautiful story about dealing with grief, about friendship and love, about forgiveness and resilience. I loved the very real portrayal of grief and the way both characters dealt with their own grief. The story was touching and seeing them heal and begin anew was a beautiful thing. I also adored that both the main characters were Bi and that there was so much representation in this. It was a great book and I'd absolutely recommend it.

*Thanks Netgalley and Macmillan Children's Publishing Group | Feiwel & Friends for sending me an arc in exchange for na honest review*

[dearjamesxo]

[drabble under cut]

Billy stands there, bear-chested and gorgeous, illuminated by streaks of midday sun streaming in from the windows above. His posture is rigid, on the defense before Leo has even had a chance to state why he's here.

After four months abroad, visiting his cousin, Alexander, Leo imagined his homecoming would be more than the cold, empty reception he received. If it wasn't for Spike taking it upon himself to retrieve Leo, Leo would still be wondering if something happened to Billy while he was away.

As it turns out, no, Billy is fine, all in one piece, he just didn't feel the need to let Leo know he's no longer interested in doing...whatever it was they were doing before Leo left. Leo refuses to label it as anything significant now that it's been made clear that it only ran deep on one side.

Jessie, face pained in sympathy, glances between them as Leo and Billy stand off, the silence thickening into a suffocating cloud that congests the room. From behind him, Spike squeezes Leo's shoulder. Leo feels his presence retreat, hears him clop up the stairs, narrowly followed by Jessie after she tries to offer Leo a sympathetic smile. The door creaks, a rush of sound from the street, creaks again, and Billy and Leo are alone.

Bea isn't around. In Colchester with Watson gathering witness statements, Spike mentioned on the trek back to the cellar. Well, that's what Leo was able to parse, anyway; Spike's cheeks were stuffed with confections Louise had a scullery maid assemble for him in a basket.

Their friendship might baffle many, but it makes complete sense to Leo.

Unlike Billy, who hasn't moved an inch or spoken a word since he rolled to his feet upon Leo's arrival. Leo can’t discern Billy’s expression, resting between aggressive and ashamed, as if he’s aware he’s done something awful but won’t apologize for it. And he has, he’s ripped open Leo’s chest and filled the cavity with so much bitterness and betrayal that Leo’s scarcely been able to draw a satisfying breath since he again set foot on British soil.

Leo desperately wants to hate Billy, wants to lash out and make Billy hurt as much as he’s hurting. But he can’t. Could never. Because he cares too deeply for the young man standing across from him that to hurt Billy would be to damage himself irreparably.

“Why?” Leo croaks when the silence becomes too much.

“Why what?” Billy says, fists clenching at his sides.

The harshness of his tone burns.

“You haven’t come to see me since I came back…” Leo looks away, can’t bear to watch Billy hate him for a reason Leo hasn’t been given. “I thought—”

“What? That I’d wait for you, just sit on a shelf doing nothing while you gallivant across Russia with your girlfriend?”

Leo’s head snaps up. “What are you talking about?”

Billy takes a step forward, eye blazing, ready for a fight, “I heard your Princess—” He spits the word, “Joined you on your holiday. That you n’ her were seen looking,” Here he uses his fingers to quote, “Madly in love. The perfect bloody pair, ay?”

“Where did you hear that?” Leo wonders, brows sinking in the middle.

“Who cares? It’s true, innit?”

Yes and no, Leo doesn’t say. Though not at all in love – at least to a degree that matters – he and Helena are remarkable at presenting themselves as the epitome of a love match. A fact Billy probably won’t appreciate hearing. Especially since he isn’t wrong that Helena was in St Petersburg, even if it was at the behest of Leo’s mother. The Queen believed it would do well for their public image that they be seen together. Again, a fact that Billy would bite his thumb at.

“Billy,” Leo’s voice shakes, afraid that what he has to say will be taken poorly, “You knew before that Helena and I have a duty we must fulfill. Together.” For a second, Billy looks thoughtful, eyes downcast and stance softening, “You said you didn’t care.” In an effort not to appear too affected, Leo straightens his back and juts his chin out, “If you’ve changed your mind, I think I deserve to be told. Not treated as a stranger to who you owe no explanation.”

Billy huffs, licks his lips and watches the ground as he crosses the room to his bed.

Leo trails him with his gaze, refrains from ranting as he wants to at Billy’s back. A back that Leo’s mapped the texture of with his lips and tongue, has seen bowed and arched in rapture, has felt the strength of under his palms as Billy rocked into him like the tide.

He missed Billy deliriously while he was gone, thought of little else to the point where Helena offered to rent him a strapping, blond man to use to work it out of his system. Leo didn’t, would never, but he did bring into his bed one of the toys Helena hid amongst her things, and fucked himself silly on it until he was able to do more than sulk over Billy’s absence.

Something in his expression must reveal where his thoughts traveled because when he refocuses, Billy’s features are slack and heated.

“Fuck.” Billy throws his hands up, rakes his fingers through his hair then scrubs over his face. He drops his arms and hits Leo with a fiery stare. “Just,” He growls, paces toward Leo, halfway back to his bed, toward Leo again to grab Leo by the shoulders and look him in the eye, “Did you fuck her?”

Leo’s hands fly up to frame Billy’s face, his gaze flickering between Billy’s eyes. He says firmly, “No. And I won’t, Billy, not until I have to, you know that.”

Billy’s voice is soft and defeated when he utters, “Do I?” He drops his forehead against Leo’s, runs his hands up to clutch Leo’s jaw and pull Leo into a quick, chaste kiss. “Jesus,” He whispers hoarsely, biting at Leo’s mouth, sweeping his tongue over the sting. “Do I know that, Leo?” A shuddering exhale and then he says, “How do I know you aren’t lying to keep me around?”

Billy continues nipping and soothing, chasing kisses as if he can’t help himself, wasted enough energy trying to resist tasting Leo as much as Leo wants to be devoured after so many weeks apart.

Putting a staying hand to Billy’s chest, Leo leans back to tell Billy very honestly, “You know me, you know I would never do that to you, to anyone.” Leo squeezes his eyes shut before he confesses, “I’m in love with you, William Marlott,” Billy gasps and his body sways into Leo’s. He captures Leo’s mouth in a dizzying performance of tongue and teeth. When they part for air, Leo quirks the tiniest smile, “You enormous bellend.”

In an arousing display of strength, Billy hooks his hands under Leo’s thighs and lifts, forcing Leo to wind his legs around Billy’s trim waist and his arms around Billy’s shoulders. Billy reaches up to give Leo a wet kiss and then turns on his heel, carrying Leo to his bed where he deposits Leo nonchalantly. Billy climbs after Leo, crawls up Leo’s body before insinuating himself between Leo��s legs, arms bracketing Leo’s head. Their noses bump, lips meet, and, at last, Billy quells the last of Leo’s doubt by saying, “I missed you so much, darling.”

Billy spends the next hour earning Leo’s forgiveness.

[snarkystarkybby]

:sweet like honey: Peter Parker x oc /one/

Hey lovelies,

here’s chapter one, i hope you all fall in love with this story as much as i have. i honestly really love Honey and she is so different to all my other OC’s.

let me know what you think and send me requests, xo

isabella

Honey smiled as she sat at the vanity getting ready for the day, Morgan sat by her side copying her every motion. The seven-yr. old girl had been shadowing Honey’s every move since the second she arrived in the city year since they’d seen each other, and Morgan loved the older girl.

Morgan only had two blood-related cousins Honey and Bea, the little Stark idolised both of the girls since birth. Every birthday, Christmas, Easter and Thanksgiving Morgan would follow the girls until pepper would force her to leave them alone for even just 5 minutes. So, when she found out Honey was going to be living with them for the summer she almost exploded with excitement.

Honey had offered to look after her younger cousin for the summer, of course, Pepper and Tony assured her it wasn’t necessary. They could see the longing for distraction in Honey’s eye as she begged and agreed on the premise that she took at least a few days a week for herself which seemed to be a fair compromise. So, Honey spent her days playing dress up and spending every dollar she owned on Morgan’s new complete family set of build-a-bear’s.

One her days alone Honey scoured the city in secret for apartments and jobs. Which was becoming increasingly difficult, seeing as she couldn’t let her Aunt find out what she was doing? Honey was determined to do this alone. Her entire life she had never done anything herself, every moment of her was planned for or by Bea and her parents by not this.

College was her fresh start. Not a single person at college knew about Bea or how her parents had become after she was gone. Nobody would send her pitying glances and mutter insincere “I’m so sorry” when really, she just wanted to forget.

The day she received her letter from Columbia with a full academic scholarship was the best day of her life in the worst year possible. Pepper had been so excited when she called and found out her niece was moving to the city, and out of the tiny town which Pepper knew was destroying the girl from the outside in.

The entire town was painted with memories of Bea. Honey had spent seventeen years living as a half, and then in the blink of an eye, she was alone. Sometimes the fragility of life had a way of sneaking up on you. It was barely three weeks into the summer before senior year when Bea was rushed into the ER. Stage 4 Leukemia, treatment was possible but almost undeniably inconclusive. She remembers lying in the creaky hospital bed arms wrapped around her sleeping sister and listening to the soft sobs of her mom in the hall on the phone to Aunt Pepper. It felt wrong. This kind of thing didn’t happen to people like her. The warm air and sounds of cicadas were suddenly eerily unnerving.

On the last day in the hospital Bea made Honey promise to help her escape, and so with a not so carefully executed plan they sisters escaped the hospital and made it to the small lake outside of town by sunset. Later that night just after 7 Honey tried to stay strong as she held Bea’s hand and watched her parents sniffle silently as her sister took one last trembling breath.

Pepper hated seeing the effects of Bea’s death on Honey. The blonde girl sat in the spare room- refusing to even enter her once shared bedroom, in such a catatonic state that it took Pepper hours to even get her to eat a few spoons of soup and shower.

Honey didn’t move for the remainder of the summer, her mother barely dragged her out the house for the funeral. Getting out of the town was the best possible thing she could have done.

Currently, Honey and Morgan were walking hand in hand both holding an ice-cream in their empty hands around central park. Honey had learnt from when Morgan was very young that surprisingly Central Park was one of her favourite places. Tony and Pepper had a busy day of meetings and such before tonight Honey would finally be meeting the famous Peter Parker.

Tony’s all-but-actually-adopted-son who worked for him in the labs. Pepper had promised that Honey and Peter would get along great considering they were the same age. Although Honey was worried, she had never been good at meeting new people. Although due to peters absence for the first three weeks of summer Morgan seemed excited to see him.

From what Honey was able to find out about him, Peter had gone backpacking around Europe with his long-term girlfriend MJ as soon as they had graduated. It seemed exciting, Honey had always wanted to travel but she could never go alone- the thought alone terrified her.

Morgan spent all day telling Honey about Peter, to the point where she almost didn’t want to meet the guy.

“Ooh, one-time peter and I went to the movies and he dropped all the popcorn on the floor and when he was trying to clean it up, he slipped and fell over”

“Dad and peter tricked mommy and she got so mad that peter fainted”

“dad keeps a playlist of all the times peters done dumb stuff and FRIDAY filmed it”

Peter this peter that.

From what Honey could gather Peter was a clumsy, nerd type who she could image probably wore sweater vests and broken glasses. Something told her they weren’t going to get along. As much as Honey was playfully teased that she was a nerd by Bea, she had never gotten along with the above-average intelligence types.

In high school honey still had really good grades but she was also a cheerleader and typically stayed in the more popular crowd, thanks to Bea. So forgive her for being a little presumptuous, nerdy type just thought they knew everything as usually attributed her blonde hair and pom-poms to her being nothing but an airhead infatuated with lip gloss and boys.

So when tony had announced peter was coming for dinner she was less than impressed, but of course, put on a happy face for him. It’s the least she could do.

Tony was kind of the dream uncle every kid wanted. He always showed up to family events late, with extravagant gifts in hand and a super cool excuse. Honey couldn’t remember the last birthday or Christmas when she hadn’t gotten the latest and greatest toy or anything else, she could imagine. Her favourite memory as a kid was the three weeks, she and Bea would spend with Aunt Pepper every summer, but eventually, once Pepper moved in with Tony he would be there too.

By mid-afternoon, the girls were back at the tower and were currently tiding up Morgan’s room by order of Pepper and the oh-so-scary-early-bedtime-threat. They cleaned up and whilst Morgan was watching TV, honey went upstairs to grab the small shoebox from underneath the bed and place the small memorabilia from the day inside.

Each summer, since she was child Honey, kept her summer box. She kept everything in there- photos, receipts, movie tickets, dried flowers, friendship bracelets, notes she had passed at camp- essentially anything. Today it was a receipt for the ice-cream in the park and a small polaroid the girls had taken under a tree where they had lunch.

Morgan was complaining he was bored and since they still had almost two hours until anyone would be home Honey suggested they baked some cupcakes to have as dessert.

When pepper arrived home to see Honey and Morgan dancing to Disney music in the kitchen, the icing on both their faces and sprinkles lining the floor she couldn’t help but smile and run her finger through the neon pink icing before plopping it in her mouth.

“mmm this is really good, what’s the occasion why the cupcakes and kitchen parties” by now Morgan and jumped into peppers arms to welcome her home and tell her all about the day and Honey took the chance to finish icing the cakes before tidying up.

“Hey, where’s Tony?” Pepper who was listening to Morgan’s story about the crazy duck lady at the park to answer,

“oh he’s gone to pick peter up they should be here soon- maybe ten minutes or so” Honey was frantic, ten minutes??? She was covered in icing.

“oh my god I have to get changed, I have icing in my hair” Pepper laughed and called after her that it was okay-Peter wasn’t going to care. She refused to meet the boy for the first time with neon pink icing in her hair and workout leggings on.

So she frantically washed out the icing before drying just that one section of hair, quickly reapplying her makeup and chucking on her favourite jeans and a floral crop top that was nice but still casual enough. She ran a brush through her hair before pulling it back into a loose half-up style, then bouncing out into the hallway.

She was tense, Honey hated meeting new people and meeting new people in the presence of adults- that you knew- was even worse. So, when she walked into the open style living/dining/ kitchen area and saw the curly-haired figure whose back was to her was almost sure she would faint. Its been known to happen.

“ah here she is, Underoos… Meet Mine and Pepper’s niece- Honey”

“uh hey I’m Peter, Peter Parker” her mouth went dry and her throat felt like it closed completely but somehow, she managed to choke out,

“its nice to finally meet you, Morgan’s told me plenty” he smiled at the mention of the girl who Honey only just noticed was practically standing on his feet. If his dorky smile and smooth caramel-like voice weren’t enough to make her freeze the tight light wash jean cut-off’s and well-tailored and perfectly well unbuttoned navy-blue shirt sent her mind into a frenzy. She was screwed. He was gorgeous- and taken.

This was just her luck.