#and asked if god would still love me

[pansysworks]

Little thing I finally finished!

Warnings for vague homophobia, tranphobia, and religious trauma.

Do you remember the double doors leading into your paradise? Paradise, where you were liked and loved. Valued, even.

Do you remember the double doors, where the smiling faces met you? With a computer in hand and a name badge to match. Welcoming you to the music with the worship and the snacks

Do you remember the double doors, and the auditorium inside? With gaming systems and food, a bribery was made. Your time for their beliefs.

Do you remember the double doors? Do you remember what lied before them?Remember being shunned and being told love is a sin?

Do you remember those double doors once they no longer hid paradise? The daunting feeling of those doors could suffocate the strongest of men.

Do you remember the double doors that hid the cruelty of children? Ignorance for others that could only be taught by their elders.

Do you remember the day the double doors shut for you, when the house no longer felt like a home? When the cross no longer felt familiar?

Do you remember sinking, falling, dying, when the double doors came into view?

Do you remember the double doors, and how they had sealed shut for you?

[rainingcatsandjune]

haha heyy its been a while 😭😭 sorry for the lack of activity here,,, school has been kicking my butt + i've gotten SUPER hyperfixated on disco elysium,,,, BUT THE MOMENT I SAW THE ORIGINAL I KNEW I HAD TO DRAW SAM AS THIS RAHSBBFBDN i seriously need to catch up on the recent audios 😭😭😭 ANYWAY enjoy :)

vvvvv ORIGINAL BELOW vvvvv

shhhhghhshhshhsh youre telling me this ISNT sam??? like????

[xxplastic-cubexx]

AHHHHHHH ur latest movieverse charles is so precious,,, i want to pinch his cheeks and stretch them like mochi

squihshy..

[rin-solo]

Pls tell me I'm not alone—

[shannonsketches]

[sea-jello]

hong kong miku,,,

[kaelidascope]

I need to make a point of saying that contrary to popular belief, I do not read. I do not enjoy reading, I hate being asked to read things, reading is exhausting and a chore. I like to write just for the sake of writing. The act of writing itself gives me so much gratification just to be able to do it!

But if I saw this bitch in the wild at 300k+ words I would never fucking touch it LMAOO doesn't matter HOW good it is man that's way too fucking long

what the fuck was I THINKING LMAO THIS SHIT IS INSANE I WOULD NEVER READ THIS

Not saying I think MM is bad or not worth the read. I certainly think it is! But for like, you know, people who like to read. Not me LOL glad some of y'all literally will sit and re-read this shit regularly though. Y'all juggernauts for that

It's not even like I write topics that I don't enjoy. I certainly enjoy them, otherwise I wouldn't be writing them. But I like writing them, not reading them. But that's not exclusive to topics, I just don't read anything in general

[heymrspatel]

can we talk about this real quick? like can we talk about how ian's just lying there looking at his husband in their new space? were they chatting? quiet pillow talk? were they just being quiet and ian was taking it upon himself to fondly observe him? thank you for your time.

ray. you come into my house with this? fully knowing? the effect? it's going? to HAAAVE?! i see how it is...

i think it's a mix of all. i think they're absolutely floating in the afterglow. just taking their time coming down. caressing. quietly talking. taking their time with what they want to say. conversations about anything and nothing. "do you want pancakes tomorrow?" and "we have an easy work day planned" and "i loved how you touched me tonight" and "kiss me" slow, soft. little smooches. little giggles. long stares. easy smiles. heavy sighs. a 'baby' here. a 'big guy' there. i love you, i love you, i love you.

but, i know ian also took his time looking. just going over all those features he already has memorized. mickey's straight nose, his long eyelashes, his eyebrows currently at rest, his freckles. so many! lighter than ian's, but there all the same. his shiny black hair, his ears, his neck - faintly marked - beautiful, collarbone, shoulders, chest, belly, down down down... ian's hands slowly touching everything he's looking at. with his fingers tips, feather soft. mickey all floaty and glowy and warm, accepting it all.

so, yea. i think everything, softly and slowly.

[plulp]

JORDAN PLEASE DONT WEAR SO MANY CLOTHES. PPLEQASE

[aretheywlw]

ARE THEY A WOMAN WHO LOVES WOMEN?

*TL;DR she is technically not a canon lesbian, so no, this poll does not break my rules. i am, however, going to treat her as canon sapphic due to the rule of BFFR. as a result, i have taken out the usual "they're not attracted to women" options. see tags if you want more detail

[ganondoodle]

Regarding Demise: He is an interesting concept, as is the whole eternal cycle, but for that to actually become something worthwhile the games/stories would have to actually DO something with it. So far they are introduced in Skyward Sword and thats it! No other game even references them. And, yes, that cheapens EVERY other game because there is this implication that its all out of the control of the actual characters in the story because of this one asshole that we only ever saw once! Why not have Ganondorf realize that he is possessed/manipulated by this weird old Demon God? How would he react, would he embrace it, would he rebel, would he be broken by the realization that none of his actions were ever *his*? I dont even care which of these options they pick, as long as they pick any of it and do just ANYTHING with the concept.

Or maybe Link or Zelda figures out the Cycle and starts looking into breaking it because endlessly repeating Demon Attacks kinda suck and you dont want that for your descendants.

Or have a game focus on them remembering bits from past lives and having to piece it all together or, again, just ANYTHING!

The closest they ever came to was with BOTW Zelda praying to Hylia, aka HERSELF, to unlock her powers, which is some brutal narrative irony, but not much more.

And regarding the whole Zelda is Hylia thing, I've seen some headcanons about how Skyward Sword Zelda is terrified of herself after learning that, because she now has to assume that everything she did was planned by a version of her that she no longer is. Is Link her friend or is he the useful pawn that Hylia needs to turn into the Hero? Does she even deserve his affection when she probably manipulated him into becoming her champion and fighting, possibly dying for her all her life?

Thats juicy, thats something you can do something with but Nintendo really does like to plan those stories game per game without any care for the larger story.

Which I guess is the Irony of it all. They tried the whole larger connected story/universe thing once: With Skyward Sword. After all that was also the time we got the first Hyrule Historia & "official timeline" as well as "How it all began" in the game itself.

It felt like the start of a new era for Zelda games and stories and then it just... wasn't.

And while I get that they want to focus on gameplay over story, I will never stop mourning the stories we could get/have gotten, if they put a bit more thought into things.

I actually feel like its harder to make the 'cycle' into an interesting plot point when its a .. divine thing that happens, and not perpetuated by the people (though not impossible, given how the series is build up it would need alot of work to not make it worse still..)-

i actually cannot stand the idea that ganondorf is possessed or manipulated, made eviler by demise somehow (demise is dead, leave him beeeeee hes not some evil master mind behind anything aaaaah) bc it STILL takes away ganondorfs agency and character and gives right into the whole hes basically born evil and just pushes the fault tm onto someone else it in turn legitimizes that the kingdom of hyrule and its high rule (heehoo) is right and if only gan wasnt manipulated hed be good tm, aka allied with the goodest guys, hed gladly accept their invitation and join their holy empire of goodness tm if wasnt for da demon

(and i love to say, who decides what is good tm and evil tm? bc hyrules monarchs making every other tribe their subordinate and persecuting shiekah for example isnt what id call good but its fine bc the good holy guys did it in the name of "peace" -what is their idea of peace? everyones under their rule and must worship their god? uh oh- and resistance to it is gonna get you labelled as evil!! (unless you join their holy kingdom and become their vassal of GOOD) what good and evil boils down to in zelda is .. being allied/ruled by the kingdom of hyrule and being opposed to them, even if its only not wanting to be subjugated by them)

i can see the appeal to some degree, but i dont like the idea of ganondorf even being able to be manipulated or possessed, what makes his character, before it got flattened into well he just be demon in the eyes of the average fandom, interesting is his unbreakable will, that drive to keep on living and resisting those that want him dead, its poetic and sad, to the point that (until totk ...) it was really just ONE ganondorf that refused to die and came back over and over (also something i found a compelling thought for botw, that after all this time theres nothing left BUT his will to resist, its a tragic idea that rly spoke to me)

my personal idea of the cycle is that its only a cycle bc they, the kingdom of hyrule and their belief system, keep it going, its not a divine thing that needs to be broken (though the divine surely messes with it, just for the bit i guess) but something that keeps repeating bc hyrule is so soaked into the idea that their princess once was a god and hers is the right to rule it all in light- so anyone who doesnt agree must be of the demons from the darkness seeking to destroy the world, and what means the 'world' could just mean the kingdom of hyrule- in botw even with the calamity people went on and lived, same in windwaker, they dont need the holy kingdom to live- (who is to say the 'monsters' are bad for the land, to me they mostly looked like well adapted territorial beasts, and the bokblins etc clearly arent mindless monsters either, why do they need to be eradicated? they attack you? ok dont go into their territory, or defend yourself, you dont need to exterminate something just bc it could be a threat at some point)

(i do agree that conflict with zelda being interesting but uuuh .. well they never did anythign with that huh)

in the end, demise was just a throw away villain, and if i may get my tin foil hat back here, i feel like the whole creation myth skyward sword does was really just a way for them to get out of the predicament of having to consider a villain to be treated like a person to save themselves from having to think about what they imply and can just go, well this is the evil demons, this is the good gods- ironically enough the attempt to get out of having to consider complicated writing it ends up reversing straight back into the WORST of kinds of implications .. that arent even subtext anymore, if totk is anythign to go by, the most 'simple' or 'easy' narrative to go for might not be actually simple, just a so often retold one that it appears simple if not made aware of its dark maw, the status quo repeated ad nauseam

(and if i may, the whole gameplay over story thing is bs in my eyes, that sounds like the typical attempt of dismissing any critique, just like the stupid, and frankly, offensive "its just for kids" argument, story and gameplay are inherently intertwined, the story influences the gameplay, the gameplay influences the story, especially in a series like zelda that is a futile thing to go for and a reason why the stories themselves lack depth, how are you gonna have an epic adventure that drives you to get through any amount of puzzles and battles if there is no story to motivate you, at this point it feels like the series has set itself up for catastrophic failure bc i imagine, people might just keep buying and playing the games bc its attached to the series, bc they hope to see characters they loved return, new ones that will grab their attention, perhaps be taken away by a world that meant alot to them once before, hope that there will be something exciting-

i am not saying the series has no value or doesnt do anything well (hello who am i) but how many times can you repeat 'this guy good he fight evil guy he get the pretty princess as reward' without any interesting twists or narrative, even the most beloved characters can only keep it passable for so long, even the best gameplay loses its potential if its surrounded by cardboard characters and a story so "simple" as offensive it fits into a single page, i often wonder how a game would be seen if it wasnt titled -the legend of zelda- ..

it hurts especially when looking at its long history, how much estblished thigns it could exploit and expand, the potential the series has is still immense, it hurts to see it be wasted over and over :(

[thegempage]

gonna elaborate on one of the steps from this post of mine about my ideal narilamb dynamic bcus i want to talk about them jfdklasjkfds so go check that out for context

but the idea (which i'm going to put under a cut bcus i love to Talk)

i'm thinking this is like, partway through their decade-ish phase where they're going from "mutual bitter betrayal" to "on friendly terms again," and the lamb is charged with re-killing and subsequently indoctrinating the bishops. which like... is gonna stir up a Lot of feelings (i also hc, in this case, that the bishop situation doesn't come up for at least a few years after the lamb initially defeats narinder, hence being in the mid phase) bcus the lamb thought they were striking down the bishops responsible for the horrors they've faced the first time, and now some asshole in a cloak is telling them they didn't do it right. plus narinder thought he was free of his siblings and ever having to confront the feelings he has about them but now they're going to be Here and he can't Hide Forever bcus he's far enough into healing that the lamb would be sad if he regressed back into isolation (and also he's been getting more involved with the day-to-day cult stuff and him disappearing would cause Issues)

(also. tbh i think narinder starts falling back in love first, bcus i feel like he spent so long stuffing down his feelings that now that he has a body that can Feel Emotions Physically he has a harder time ignoring them. not that he'd bring that up at this point but like, he's in a weird love/hate/desire for healing cycle with the lamb that they are Vaguely aware of but don't want to push bcus their own feelings on the matter are just as complicated and they Do Not want to address those)

so the lamb gets this mission to kill leshy again and take him in. they kind of talk to narinder about it but don't bring up all the details bcus they're not sure what they're going to do about leshy once he's in the cult, and they don't Necessarily trust narinder's first reaction to seeing his baby brother again, nor do they trust leshy to be around narinder for at Least a week or two, possibly longer. so narinder just knows the basics of the plan, and then the lamb fucking Disappears for a bit to get this done. narinder is stewing in his feelings while he runs the cult with the lamb's other disciples and he's not having a Great time. one may even accurately accuse him of having a Bad time. no one is going to bcus fuck if anyone is going to bring up that he seems to be in a bad mood more often these days.

the lamb comes back with leshy. narinder is Not a fan of this choice but it's not like he had any way of denying it, bcus the lamb Has to do something about the bishops or shit is gonna get bad, and even if he wishes they would just kill him, the lamb isn't exactly known for that (their tendency toward second chances, after all, is the only reason he's going through this). the lamb keeps them apart for a while until leshy settles in and it's clear he's not in any immediate danger of dissenting, at the very least. narinder still kind of avoids him bcus he's pissed off that leshy was involved in imprisoning him and he's afraid that leshy is upset with him about tearing out his eyes (he is, but he's not about to have that argument without back up).

and narinder and the lamb have managed to go a little while without arguing about anything big, bcus they're both trying to work on that (and the arguments are never Actually what they're about so it's not like they were getting anywhere), but narinder is so on edge about leshy that he snaps at the lamb and they snap back bcus they're on edge about heket and this mysterious cloaked figure (which narinder can Kind of see but not yet communicate with, for other reasons i have hcs for about his return to divinity and will maybe one day elaborate on separately). they get into a shouting match about the lamb's choices about what to do about the bishops and how much of those choices are actually in their control and how much each of them is upset about these developments and how much narinder does Not want to see his other three siblings again, and really it's about narinder feeling left out of the thought processes and the lamb feeling like they can't trust him to be involved and therefore having no one to turn to bcus it's not like they can address these issues with their regular ass mortal disciples and also both of them are heavily traumatized by the bishops and don't want to acknowledge said trauma. it's messy and loud and they both walk away pissed

but the important thing is after they walk away from said argument they both feel guilty about it. and they've always felt Bad walking away from shouting matches and they've occasionally felt a Little guilty about big arguments but this is the first time they've both been like "fuck, maybe we could have talked that out instead of yelling" so they regroup and apologize for parts of it and kind of talk about other parts (they're still not Completely there, to be clear, we're still in the "figuring out wtf is happening between us" phase) and the lamb lets narinder in more on their plans for heket and asks for his advice on dealing with her after she's brought into the cult and about how much he wants to be involved. which starts the ball rolling faster on them starting to make up bcus now they're on more equal footing and narinder feels less like he's being blocked from the important parts and the lamb feels less isolated in the process of dealing with the people responsible for so much of the pain in their life

and if like.......... narinder has a few dreams that he dwells on for a while or stares at the lamb too intensely during sermons. well that's his business. the lamb definitely doesn't think about him while they run solo crusades or while they're alone in the evenings, wandering around and helping out the night crew with the occasional tasks, not if you asked them

(there's also a decent amount of timespan involved with this, but that's not as important jfkldsajdf in my head this takes place over the course of about four months, from the mysterious seller appearing to them starting discussions about heket, with bringing in all four bishops taking about a year and a half total, potentially closer to two years depending on narinder's reactions to heket and kallamar and the seasons' effects on the lamb)

[the-eclectic-wonderer]

I've been trying to make a post about the OMITB finale but I'm just. Overwhelmed. It was too good. I was in tears as soon as the episode started and I kept tearing up all the way through. I suppose it starts with finding your hero. I can't do it, Sazz. Oh, I can't do it by myself / That's why I'm here. Sazz was kind to everyone. He's gonna get you, my... number... one. You know, I appreciate this movie in a whole different way now; I mean, Sazz wrote this. It's just so, so special to have an amazing show like this that's centered on platonic bonds and the love between friends. I loved the wedding, of course, but the true relationship at the core of this show is the one between the trio, and the true relationship at the core of this season was the one between Charles and Sazz, and the way they went about it was everything to me.

I love you, OMITB. You're the most wonderful funky little comfort show ever. Never change.

[oifaaa]

i follow for art and takes thst I usually agree with

Good tell me what you think of this take; I think one of the many many reasons why aus that are just x character dies and becomes red hood instead of jason fall so flat and feel so superficial is bc a lot of people making those aus don't understand jason and don't understand the character they're forcing into the red hood role

[trashcreatyre]

I think the main thing that pisses me off about like 90% of mephiles ships is that people will be like "how old is he??" Look that fanwiki says that he's ten and they RUN with it. Like they don't read further. I'm so convinced that most people don't even know the plot of 06 bc the shit I've seen people draw and write with the characters is just mind boggling.

[explodingstarlight]

the emo trinity is alive, well, and prospering in 2023