#and as expected it didnt live up to the standards. such a shame i have to put it in my 'movies watched' spreadsheet honestly

[minglana]

what in the. LMAO

[lunarsniperwifle]

Gonna gush a bit about Im In Love With The Villainess, dont read more if you havent read all the light novels!!

Okay so Idk if its cause I somehow missed it when briefly looking into the series, or fans are all very nice abt not spoiling things right now with the anime airing (which yall are saints!). But I feel I never see ppl talk abt the fact this story seriously talks abt and presents trans people on, what I felt as a trans woman, really nice and realistic ways. Like, we got an AFAB trans woman in Yu. Im sure many ppl cringe at the "Im an AFAB trans fem" posts that have floated around at times but. Yu is an AFAB trans woman and i love her for that. Rae's old world friend its a shame he died by suicide, especially as from what I recall he's the only trans man/masc character in the whole series. It is heartwarming Rae is such a huge and staunch ally because of that friendship (and subsequently will not stand to allow someone to live unhappily in the closet when she discovers it like with Yu and Joel).

Joel as well, I was happy we got a new trans character later and it was a trans woman (makes sense given its a series about queer women/girls and such), i think my only gripe is she still goes by Joel? Which both the characters do, so maybe for them and this society in general deadnames arent as /bad/ but that was something i didnt really like with hers since Joel is very masculine sounding to me. But also, if she likes it still, keep it! Just a writing decision thing i was bleh on.

I was really happy with how openly queer the novels were with sexuality but when it was explicitly talking abt dysphoria and trans people i was like. Holy shit. I guess my standards and expectations are so low i just expected if we /did/ show up we'd be a joke but we weren't. It was so nice. Yu and Joel both got punishments essentially (confined to a convent for a bit of time and deported back home), but theyre happy!! Also the crosswire curse being shown in both good and bad lights was so. Interesting. Like it caused Yu to be dysphoric for being forced into being a boy, and then for Joel gave her the body she always wanted. Like magic HRT is so cool (iirc Rae mentions it internally being cool this universe has that as an option).

Its just really special to me, especially with Yu and Misha being together and in love. Thats all lol. My yuri isekai that ended up not really being an isekai had good trans women in it what a bonus

[tatzelwyrm]

After beating jedi survivor twice i have one issue with it. The villains are so boring!!

Dagen is an angsty whining final fantasy looking jerk

Bode was fun UNTIL HE WENT EVIL. And then he reminded me of dagen with his crappy attitude.

Rayvis had me very intrigued and couldve been a great villain… if he didnt have a collective total of like 15 minutes of screen time before dying.

Frankly after such a great antagonist in trilla when playing fallen order, it was really a disappointment dealing with these fools

I am with you on Dagan and Rayvis, but Bode haunts me.

Dagan in particular is very forgettable, which is a shame, because a 200-year-old High Republic era Jedi with a grudge is a fun concept. But, in the end, he might as well have remained a vision encountered entirely through Cal's psychometry. Him being there in the flesh didn't add much to the game apart from 3 boss fights.

Rayvis is your standard proud warrior guy with a life debt who lives for war. He sounds like the voice actor had fun, but there's nothing much to him that interests me. But then, as you say, it's not like he's really in the game all that much.

Neither of them is as fleshed out or has as much of a presence as Trilla.

But Bode just haunts me.

I suspected he was gonna betray us the moment he showed us a picture of his little daughter, but despite his betrayal being expected, I ended up enjoying the details a lot.

I've said elsewhere that I believe that the phrase "doomed by the narrative" is overused but that I believe that it fits Bode perfectly and that's why I enjoy his story.

[Detailed spoilers follow.]

I am compelled by how trapped he is. How he trapped himself long before we ever meet him.

He is so driven by his fears that he would rather live alone with his daughter on an empty planet than share it.

He is so driven by his fears that he can't trust anyone. In his eyes, anyone could be a spy, anyone could betray him and Kata to his masters. Why is he so convinced that anyone among the Hidden Path could be a spy? Because he is one himself and betraying people is his job. It's delicious.

Cal is also driven by fear of loss. His goal in this game is to gather everybody he cares about and hide them away in a place where none of the evil in the galaxy can touch them. It's a fantasy so naive that, a week later, I still can't believe he pulled it off, even if only on a surface level (which is my one problem with the game. The ending is too open. I kept waiting for the consequences for Cal's brief touch with the dark side. I kept waiting for him to realise that keeping Tanalorr a secret and the compass out of the hands of the Empire is going to be enormously complicated, maybe even impossible, especially given that he mentions making copies the compass... I hate when AAA games do cliffhangers, given how much time it takes to make one).

But one difference between Cal and Bode is that Bode can't trust anyone. Cal's goal is explicitly to share his mythical paradise planet with as many people as possible while Bode is so paranoid he apparently wants his daughter to grow up a hermit on an empty.

Bode assumes the worst of everyone because he himself is the worst vs. Cal who assumes the best of everyone and offers second chances like candy (to Caij, to Rayvis, to Trilla in Fallen Order, to Bode himself).

Bode is another dark mirror for Cal, like Trilla, like Dagan (nothing new here, it's a narrative staple, but a good one in my option, I enjoy it, and I like the way it's done in Fallen Order with Trilla and I like the way it's done with Bode here). Bode is what Cal could become if he lets his fears of loss consume him.

There is still hope for Cal though while there was never any hope for Bode. He was on that road long before we met him.

While I'm personally not a fan of stories that explore that whole "attachments are bad if you're a Jedi" angle (and I suspect we're getting a lot more of that in a potential sqeuel), Bode is actually a good example in my eyes.

Bode offered himself to the Empire. The game (in particular the Force Echoes on Nova Geron) makes it very clear that Bode is the one who approached the ISB, not the other way around. This wasn't a situation in which he was held at gunpoint and offered the choice to work for the ISB or die. He also wasn't tortured into working for the Empire like Trilla and other Inquisitors. Bode himself put Kata in the hands of the Empire because he was a slave to his fears.

It's what makes him so tragic. He never could have acted any differently. Nothing we could have done could have convinced him to truly trust Cal. Bode is simply in too deep.

By the end it's clear he doesn't even really care about Kata as a person. How is living alone on an empty planet good for her? How is living on an ISB base good for her while Bode is away all the time? He ends up hurting her over and over in name of protecting her, even physically, in the end.

By the time we meet him, all that matters to Bode is that she is alive and he can keep clinging to her and to the handy excuse she represents. It's the way he lives.

There is a Force Echo on the Lucrehulk in which Bode hopes that Cal is safe after they're separated. But once Bode remembers that he is going to betray Cal eventually, he buries that sentiment very quickly with the mantra of "I'm doing this for Kata".

Bode needs to keep telling himself that every horrible thing he does is for Kata, because if that ever stops being true, what does that make him?

Bode can't be saved just like the Ninth Sister couldn't be saved in the beginning of the game. Honestly, when we killed the Ninth Sister in the tutorial level I was wondering why she was even in the game, given how quickly we dispatched her.

But by the end it made sense to me. She was there to mirror Bode's fate. Cal hesitates a long, long time before dealing the killing blow to her. He talks to her (at her, rather, given that this is a very one-sided conversation). He calls her by her name, her true name. She never answers. She just stomps and snarls, too consumed by her anger to form words. Cal's final words to her are "it's time to set you free". He realises nothing he could do could make her turn from her path. She's going to keep fighting until one of them is dead.

It's the same with Bode. Cal begs him to surrender. Bode never stops fighting him, consumed by his fear. When Bode shoots first, Cal realises nothing he could do could make him let go of his fear. Bode is going to keep fighting until one of them is dead. Dying is the only way in which Bode could ever be free from his fears.

Perfect bookends.

I hate Bode because he killed sweet old never-did-anything-wrong-in-his-entire-life Cordova (right in front of BD-1, too!) and because he uses Kata as a cheap excuse for everything, including leading countless people to their deaths, betraying Cere's location and leaving Kata herself trapped on an ISB base (and, eventually, potentially, on a peaceful but empty planet).

But mainly I feel so sorry for him because he's so tragic. He dug himself a hole and never stopped digging...

[transgenderism-horror]

i do absolutely think "love negativity" does exist, especially for queer people. being yelled at for holding my boyfriend's hand in public isnt love positivity, thats for sure. even the influx of aros and aces saying they dont want to see people kissing at pride isnt love positivity. i know people like to deny that happens, but as an aromantic who's been openly aromantic for over a decade and in many aromantic spaces, i have followed several aro people who've said they dont want to see people kissing in public, even at pride. which, again, sounds like love negativity to me. specifically directed at other queer people, which also leads into homophobia and biphobia.

i completely understand being loveless and all, but gay people have and do experience oppression for the love that they have. "love wins" is played out, but was vitally important. saying "comraderie wins" doesnt have the same ring to it when im not being comrades with someone im getting married to, im in love with them.

the concept of being loveless, subverting the expectations society has for what being a good person is, and enjoying life without love arent mutually exclusive to people experiencing oppression for their love. aro/ace people arent immune to being homophobic the same way gay people arent immune to being aphobic and the people i have encountered in the aro/ace community have just about the same proclivity to call gay people gross for having sex as gay people have the proclivity to make fun of asexuals for not having sex. ive been shamed for having sex, enjoying romance, and having a long term relationship as an aromantic more than ive had people shame me for being aromantic.

essentially, there's nuance to everything and saying broad sweeping statements like "X doesnt exist" about anything having to do with the queer experience is a massive pitfall in every discourse space. i wouldnt say aphobia doesnt exist just because ive experienced it less, or lesbophobia doesnt exist because a lot of governments didnt know they were real so they couldnt illegalize them, because it negates all the breadth of nuance that the world provides for us. in the good and in the bad.

"No more asks about this" ignored again. Okay okay

And it's funny that if, you read my post again, I was talking about a very broad concept of love, not just romantic. I in no way denied the oppression what people who date the same gender go through! Which would be a funny thing to do! Because I'm a same-gender attracted person and I identify as lesbian in the past! You'd be surprised how much I know about these issues, so you don't need to explain it to me at all! Funny thing, isn't?

I was referring to the fact that, even though certain forms of love are demonized, people still expect us to love. People still expect us to experience family love. Friendship love. Love in general. And we have to love in the right way, in the neurotypical, white way, built according to western standards. And if we don't live up to these expectations, we are ostracized and dehumanized. Love is a requirement for humanity. This is not a problem specific to just one context.

And about the "camaraderie" thing, I was just responding to the argument that "love wins" is an anti-war slogan, which honestly, seems very reductive. Love is not something inherently revolutionary. And it's not the only positive emotion there is. Also, love, in technical terms, says nothing about what someone thinks of another person. In a christian context, people often say that God "loves the sinner, but does not love the sin". My shitty father also says he loves me, like many shitty fathers. Okay, you love me. But do you respect me? Do you understand me? Do you perceive me? There must be more than just love to change the world. But anyway, this is just me commenting on my personal view on love.

I think I derail a little, but whatever. I'm not in a good mindset to provide an answer. I just want to say that I think you didn't understand me at all and at this point I'm too tired to explain myself.

[holybibly]

hi thank you for creating a blog which is so safe. i never felt comfortable with my sensuality and my environment has always shamed me from being too feminine and express my sexuality. ur posts are so memorable that i keep returning to them and then i end up scrolling thru ur answered asks and i just feel so sleepy and safe and so inspired to be like you? btw we both have capricorn moon so maybe i can relate the way u think?

my surroundings have always slut shamed me for even existing but you as a stranger whose works i have read and reblogged and never interacted with you has made me feel inspired to be this much confident. so heres this note for you, me thanking you. i didnt know if i should reveal my blog but i cried halfway thru the pretty flushed matz smut. i never thought i would...

the world has always unintentionally or intentionally kink shamed everyone. you call someone mommy daddy? oh ew. you like being called kitty pup etc. oh god ur a furry. but here seeing u using bunny as a pet name for ur beloved readers and not making fun of any asks or answer any of them rudely. i really am inspired by your energy. i am a witch(?) (i am beginner tho because my environment doesnt let me thrive) and when i first discovered you, i couldnt believe u interacted with ur readers like that and i almost felt envious of how proudly ur comfy with yourself. but lmao look at me here writing paras abt how much i felt like accepting my self even if it was 0.01%

ps. god i would love to talk to you abt everything and share evrythung ur so cool !! 🫂🫂 i wanna be off anon so bad but damn my shyness bruh T-T

Oh bunny, you should never be shy about your wishes and dreams. As I always say, all my bunnies literally live in my head.

My blog is a complete reflection of me, reading my work you can see what a mess my head is in and how different I can be.

Oddly enough, I'm quite shy in life and used to being a real princess, but at the same time I can easily take a dominant position. I can be completely different and adapt to whatever you want, but one thing I am one hundred percent sure of is that I will never love anyone more than I love myself.

Loving myself and accepting who I am now has not been easy for me and I really wish someone had been there for me in my time to tell me that: I will always be with you.

We choose who we are and society has no right to impose standards and labels on us. I want my bunnies to know that I will always be there for them, day or night. This is a safe place for them and I will never tolerate humiliation or insults towards my bunnies.

Pretty Flushed is really special, isn't it? I know it is one of your favourites of my work and I intend to expand this universe. So expect a very special morning with my adored MATZ soon.

And remember, bunnies, I love you the most and I don't want to share you with anyone else. All bunnies are mine and mine alone ~

[slimeylee]

https://slimeylee.tumblr.com/post/697119069667770368/lhgenneg-appearance-shaming-facial

bruh i ain't even know who anyone connected with the dsmp was or that the dsmp was even a thing until yesterday lmfaoo i had no standards at all cuz i ain't even know who dream was and that mf is uglyyyyyy dude literally looks like someone you'd find in a riteaid markdown tub y'all can get off your high horse with "you just had too high standards :(((" cuz almost everyone on the internet who doesn't have brain worms didn't know he existed until yesterday

cool, you didnt know who dream was n had no high expectations for his face reveal. thats fine! but if you think dream is ugly theres no need to be public abt it, anonymous persona or not. thinking that someone is ugly doesnt give, or mean that, you have the rights to appearance shame them. it takes a lot of courage and build-up to reveal something that might seem like a little situation to others but be big a big situation to yourself an anon like yourself is a good representation of something like that. being toxic abt someone on anonymous mode to another person so people dont go and attack you because they know you and your blog also dream's channel has been viewed by two billion people, and there's approximately seven bilion people that live in the world as a whole. a lot of people dont know who dream is but a ton of people have known who dream was and were hyped af for dream's face reveal you might think dream is ugly but people like you's personality is uglier and ive only ever seen you on anonymous and for the first time

also sure dream might not be the most beautiful guy in the world but he genuinely looks like a completely normal, average guy. someone may think he looks like a super model meanwhile someone may think he looks like, as ive seen people on twitter say (srsly); "if shane dawson and matpat had a baby". theres no such thing as someone literally beautiful and no such thing as someone literally ugly if you really think about it...

-slime

[fortwall]

today, i didnt do much. Just layed on my bed til i rot, and be the sinful creature that i am.

It’s obvious. Very much so. I’m still a captive of my anxiety. I’m scared of the backlogs i have yet to do. That if i do them it wont be up to anyone’s standards, not mine, not them, nor anyone’s and i would have felt great shame for producing something so worthless. The upcoming face to face meetings with the professors daunt me. I somehow cant help but imagine (or expect) that the moment i walk inside the classroom i’d be humiliated for being unprepared…for being stupid. But it’s so damn difficult to get started, i feel this vague heaviness in my chest whenever i think about anything related to school. And i cant think properly to even come up with a slightest bit good idea. All that shit, and i have the audacity to go overseas next week? Do i even deserve it? Will i be able to enjoy if i’m stuck worrying like this? With all the fucking backlogs? And every fucking thing or whatever i need to do?

Why is student leave not a thing? Can we at least have 2 weeks for ourselves without thinking of anything school related? Let us live a little

[ruckis--rookie]

Hello Ruckis!

Through a friend I came across your blog the other day and I'm really enthusiastic about your drawings! But I'm also curious about what the characters Xerxes and Geragera are about!

I asked my friend if she could tell me more about the two, but she said I should bish ask you instead! Well and now I'm doing exactly that! Can you maybe give me some rough information about their story?

I'm really interested!

I would love to talk about my characters??? Thank you for asking! Honestly I expected this much popularity from Geragera but I was not expecting Xerxes to be a close second.

PS: oh my god I went overboard I need to add a cut below because a summary would not do their stories justice. I hope you like reading I am so SORRY-

I'll give a tiny excerpt from each story for others who might be interested

---

Xerxes: As a child he lived in a tribe of Jackalope with his mother and father. He was closer to his mother than anything else. Being a hybrid and noticing that he wasn't the same as his peers made him nervous...

...He figured since there's a very high population of malevolent or mischievous ghosts, demons and ghouls that like to haunt and hunt the people of Xedor, as well as the fact that in his life he had seen a lot of death around him as Jackalope's lifestyle also make them susceptible to complications and therefore death, Xerxes decided to take up exorcism as an occupation.

---

Geragera: He was a part of the royal family of Xedor. His future was foretold by a great sage named Adzukihi. It was told he would cause several great calamities and that he would be be killer of thousands, potentially millions. That paired with the royal family figuring out about his father Dexter's history of coming from a long line of of clinically insane criminals notoriously known as "the Bogsworth's", keeping the kid alive didn't bide well. Dexter not wanting to kill his unborn child and Adzukihi not having the heart to, Dexter passed the egg off to her to protect. She panics and figures that sending him back in time would help.

As I may or may not have mentioned Xerxes is a hybrid between his mother, a vampire bat, and his father a Jackalope with the help of magic from his mother. This resulted in curious features such as longer funneled ears, cotton tail, and tiiiiny wings that he usually hides under his clothes and cape out of shame because they can't hope to lift him off the ground and only serve as a means of making him look cute (which he hates).

As a child he lived in a tribe of Jackalope with his mother and father. He was closer to his mother than anything else. Being a hybrid and noticing that he wasn't the same as his peers made him nervous. He was even distant with his own father, if not only because his father didn't know how to parent a child who has different care standards than a Jackalope. He wasn't trying to be distant, he truly just didn't know how to bond with his kid without making it awkward. His mother unfortunately was slain, as the land of Xedor isn't too fond of Vampiric types and she unfortunately ran into a particularly bigoted group. Luckily this was not before she had the time to teach him how to hunt to satiate the taste for blood responsibly.

Obviously this development hit him hard. It's one of the few times where he was actually able to express intense emotion (as normally he is stoic and has trouble emoting). From there on he felt an intense desire to hold more power. He was tired of being pushed down because of genetics. Because he was vampiric. He lived out the rest of his young life with his father, whom died later from complications and illness. Luckily he was up there in age and was completely satisfied with his life. Having both his parents died and little to no attachment to his clan, he set out to leave his tribal life behind and go to the castle town in Xedor in search of a new, easier life where he didnt have to worry about fighting to survive as much.

Now keep in mind, Jackalopes in this story are very primal. Outside of basic human intelligence, they hunt, farm, etc, on their own. They view technology as unsavory and unholy because the God of Neo-Earth, Kitsuneoctua, has a distaste for tech. The way they view it the closer to nature you are the closer to God you are. Meaning that the life of luxury and power Xerxes set out to obtain would be frowned upon by his tribe and he is most likely not welcome back into it as to not taint their lands.

The first thing Xerxes set out to do was find a well paying job. He figured since there's a very high population of malevolent or mischievous ghosts, demons and ghouls that like to haunt and hunt the people of Xedor, as well as the fact that in his life he had seen a lot of death around him as Jackalope's lifestyle also make them susceptible to complications and therefore death, Xerxes decided to take up exorcism as an occupation. Seeing as it would be a very well paying job at the time especially considering Xedor neighbors Neverliv Woods which is dead undead central. He was initially hired as a joke as it was ironic for something like a Vampiric to be an exorcist. But then he turned out to be actually good at his job and made a name of himself, especially considering the severe lack of exorcist that their were.

He got himself a cheap place to start, but with his well paying income he managed to buy the infamous mansion up on the hill that had been marked down by an astonishing amount. Nobody had been able to buy it in years. The only reason it hadn't been torn down? Tales of ferocious monsters abiding in that house, eating anyone who dare enter it. Xerxes figured after all the ghouls he had handled it would be no problem.

Come to find out that said monsters was just a fellow Vampiric living there, who was also a witch. Xerxes spared her. The two were in the same situation after all. Given the house was technically now in his name legally Xerxes became the man of the house, with Jijinko as his co leader.

He also had enough funds to try out gambling and then he got addicted. Yay! His impulse control is awful and he cheats more often then not but at least he has more of a name.

---

Now as for Geragera I'm gonna start with after his soul was reincarnated on Neo-Earth, which all starts with him being thrown into a portal leading to the past! As to why he was thrown into the past, he was a part of the royal family of Xedor. His future was foretold by a great sage named Adzukihi. It was told he would cause several great calamities and that he would be be killer of thousands, potentially millions. That paired with the royal family figuring out about his father Dexter's history of coming from a long line of of clinically insane criminals notoriously known as "the Bogsworth's", keeping the kid alive didn't bide well. Dexter not wanting to kill his unborn child and Adzukihi not having the heart to, Dexter passed the egg off to her to protect. She panics and figures that sending him back in time would help. And thus Geragera was thrown into a river some several hundred years back. He hatches and raises himself in the wild for years until he meets a curious face. At this time period animals are evolving but don't quite have human level intelligence, and the humans are just now starting to recover their race. Geragera in the pond he stays in meets a woman named Guffaw. She seemed awfully kind! She played with him, talked to him, even taught him how to speak. To him it seemed like she could do no wrong. How naive Gera was.

When he grew a bit older she basically abducted him, taking him to an island that conducted cruel experiments on these rapidly evolving animals in attempts to create an army of super mutants. Gera of course started getting the worst of it seeing as he was the most advanced out of these animals thusfar. That's where his hatred for these hairless monkeys that stole him from his home so they could hurt him started. But he was no fool, oh no, he was a quick learner. Watching his "fellow scientists" build and create as well as snooping and prying, he began to pick up technical know-how.

Some years later he lead a revolt. Alongside a strange white dog that could breathe fire. The place was burnt to the ground. Most of the humans slain. Including Guffaw who was taken out by Geragera himself. He wouldn't allow her peace though, oh no, he vowed to take her first name as his last and carry her with him as he carried out acts of bloodshed and violence. Just so she could be as volatile in death as she was in life. To this day that old building still stands. Empty and abandoned.

From there Geragera paired up with the strange white dog whom was dubbed Ruckis and returned to the wild. Literally hundreds of years later Jijinko finds the two, thinking that it was just some homeless lost kid and his dog. She took the two in only to find out that this "kid" was actually older than he looked and the dog wasn't actually a primordial dog. Obviously it's at this point Ruckis and Geragera also figure they aren't normal modern animals either, having lived for hundreds of years and Gera's growth being stunted.  The reason she thought this was because they didn't talk at first and Ruckis favored walking on fours. As they grew closer to the household the dynamic duo started being more vocal. Geragera was allowed to stay not only because of attachment reasons but he genuinely does help protect the house from intruders, bring back food and even help with house technology.

that's only like half of Gera's story if you could believe it. Tysm for asking and letting me talk about my characters, I hope this wasn't too much of a read!

[helisol]

dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,, 

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi! 

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second. 

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose. 

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right? 

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer.  and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right? 

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo. 

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person. 

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me”  for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo. 

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.

[bangtansmau]

midnight memories

pairing: kim taehyung x you

--------------------

summary: you moved in to a new apartment because you couldn't live another day with a noisy neighbor. to your luck, your balcony faced another apartment's balcony from the building next door and he also is infamous for making sounds. however, you can't seem to care when the noise is actually from a nice violin and the player himself is also nice-looking. 

------------–------

track 6: don't forget where you belong

she was the last person he wanted to see standing behind his door.

taehyung’s eyebrows furrowed at the sight of his former muse that still held the same smirk and the glint of mischief in her eyes. her clothes looked like she just came from a club and his nose twitched when the faint scent of booze permeated the air.

“minji, what are you doing here?”

his icy tone made her pout and she leaned against the doorframe and crossed her arms.

“is that how you call me now, taetae?”

the nickname made him flinch and she grinned.

“come on, taetae. can you let a girl in? you don’t want me to stay in the streets, do you?”

everything in him screamed to refuse but he wasn’t given a chance to answer as she already barged her way in through his door. 

“you belong in the streets”

he mumbled but she didn’t seem to hear it.

minji stood at the end of the hallway, surveying the whole room and her nose crinkled at the sheer size of it.

“you really stay in this shed, tae? you could do so much better”

she chided but taehyung ignored her and grabbed her arm to face him. his eyes were no longer warm and inviting- rather, cold and upset.

“what the hell do you want, minji? why did you come all the way here? how did you even know my address?”

she rolled her eyes as if the answer was so obvious that he should know. but he didnt, a sharp stare boring straight to her face.

“i have friends everywhere, tae. and i just wanted to see you, since it’s been so long”

her manicured hand travelled to his shoulder and was about to rub his shirt when he swatted it away. taehyung exuded an aura of anger and he clenched his jaw.

“i don’t want to see you nor do i want to do anything with you. now get the fuck out of my home or so help me God”

but the threat didn’t faze her. minji reverted to her true colors, the mischief being replaced by malice and her lips curled into a sneer.

“don’t forget who i am, taehyung. i could ruin your reputation here just like i did at home but surely, you don’t want me to, right? you don’t want to be looked at like that here too, right?”

the faux sympathy annoyed him and he chuckled humorlessly. of course she would threaten him with that. she was what chased him away from his home and everything he knew towards a family friend who graciously accepted him to live with them in the city.

the city where he would have a fresh start. 

“it’s nearly been 2 years. you’re still holding on to that?”

he looked off to the side to contain himself then looked back at her with a harsh glare.

“you may have friends and connections in daegu that could believe you and every lie you could spout off. but here? this is my territory. they know nothing about you, or my life back then so they won’t believe you if you spread them. besides, you’re the only one in them. would they think it was me who took the photos in the first place?”

he was right.

she knew he was right.

the explicit photos he consensually took of her were what ruined his image at the small town but in the big city, no one would bat an eyelash. and no one knew who lee minji was. compared to their rural home where everyone knew everybody to the capital of the country, she was just another person living in this city like the other millions. taehyung has been here for nearing 2 years now, making friends and connections from the middle of his senior year to current. he has an upper-hand than her and even if she tried to blame and point fingers at him, the photos only showed her face and none of who was behind the camera- him.

taehyung laughed at her defeated face and was about to go on when his phone rang. minji watched her former lover pick up the phone with a bright smile and answered happily. 

“okay. yea, sure. i’ll be there. on my way now”

when he hung up, his face shifted to the same coldness from before and tears welled up in her eyes. not from sadness, but from frustration. that she no longer holds a threat over his head and he was finally free from her.

tae paused for a second, then sighed.

“this is the last time you’ll ever hear or see from me again. if you come back, i will release the videos of you, like you did to me. i could’ve done it immediately after you leaked it but i had a feeling i needed to wait. and i was right. so try something again, i’ll really destroy you. both in seoul, and daegu.”

minji gulped and harshly pulled away from his grasp to cradle it close to her and glaring hatefully at him.

“i hate you, kim taehyung”

he chuckled.

“sure you do. now, i have to go somewhere. i’ll go first but don’t even think about looking for anything because i have nothing in here. i really shouldn’t be this nice but i’d feel bad kicking you out when you stink like the combination of a beaver’s ass and puke. so go take a shower and leave when you’re done. and your clothes? use my robe and go. it would be a shame to find you dead in a ditch because you wore something like that. terrible cause of death, don’t you think?”

she stomped her foot on the tile in the bathroom as she replayed the last things taehyung said to her. minji looked at herself in the mirror and resisted the urge to throw the vase by the door at her reflection.

“stupid, lee minji. you shouldn’t have come here”

you didn’t do anything or say anything because you should’ve expected this. taehyung was one handsome and fine young man, of course he would have women begging to sleep with him. unfortunately, you saw one of those girls leaning against the railing of his balcony with nothing but a robe.

he even let her stay at his place.

the curious stare you had was met with the girl herself and her lips turned up to a smirk and her head cocked to the side. minji caught your eye since you could be seen through the large windows of your living room.

so you were the girl in his camera.

she even raised her hand as a hello and beckoned you to come outside. at first, you didn’t know who she was talking to, even pointing to yourself as confirmation, but she nodded and you slowly walked to the doors and out to the balcony.

at a closer look, this girl was beautiful. duh, only pretty girls should be with him. with the perfect skin and even flawless natural beauty, she was the girl you would envision to be his girlfriend.

of course, he has a girlfriend!

the topic never came up and you assumed he was single with the flirty texts he sent but she might be his girlfriend.

minji smirked when you said nothing and just kept staring at her. it was so unlike taehyung to find interest in a little girl like you.

“you must be,, diana?”

you stopped.

“huh?”

how does she know about that?

minji chuckled.

“sorry. i was in tae’s laptop and saw a folder named diana. and your pictures were in there so i assumed,, you are diana. you are, aren’t you?”

it made you feel awkward that his girlfriend knew you and the fact that she found out about you was because her boyfriend’s laptop had pictures of you in it. you would be curious too if your own boyfriend did that.

so you just nodded.

“um, i guess? but don’t misunderstand! i’m just helping him! that’s it!”

you clarified but minji didn’t seem bothered, even just examining her fingernails.

“it’s alright. tae’s always been like that. he wasn’t interested in anything strikingly attractive or beautiful so his standards of beauty are quite rare. but once he does find it, he doesn’t let go. he takes pictures of it and keeps it as,,, a collection?”

you didn’t understand anything she was saying but the energy you got from her was suspicious and negative.

“what are you saying? i’m not following”

you awkwardly chuckled to lighten up the air but minji kept going.

“once you become taehyung’s model, he becomes drawn to you- almost, obsessed. but in the end of the day, you’ll still just be his model. that’s it. why? because he doesn’t fall in love with the eyes. he falls in love with his camera. you can be the most beautiful thing to ever walk the earth but if one day, his lens doesn’t capture that, he would cast you aside and find a new one. so darling, i want to give you a bit of an advice to save you the heartbreak. you can like him all you want- hell, even fall in love with him if you so desire-but don’t forget who you are, don’t forget where you belong. stay in your place, know your purpose, and just be his good little doll, nothing more. okay?”

there was conflict inside you because you weren’t in love with him, attracted sure, but you weren’t going to fall in love with him. but why does it feel like your hopes were just crushed? was it because he could easily cast you aside when he no longer needs you? but she was right. you were just a model. 

then again, who was she to be saying this stuff? 

“why are you saying this?”

you quietly said and minji showed a ‘sad’ smile.

“because i was once you. and if you don’t follow my advice, you could end up like me. thrown away and forgotten.”

----------------

fun facts:

- lee minji was taehyung's ex-girlfriend and they were,,, doing stuff and she told tae he was allowed to take pictures and all that but tae broke up with her which made her spread the pictures and taehyung's family were ashamed of him so they sent him to seoul where a family friend let him stay.

- minji didn't know there were videos too but he kept them just in case for payback or revenge or just something to keep over her head

- namjoon is currently reading DEMIAN and DON QUIXOTE and he switches from that language to crack for the group chat

- jimin still has an X and jungkook keeps teasing him about it

- tae works as an intern for a photography company but he usually does the editing at home so he never leaves the house

------------------

//masterlist//

← track 5 // track 7 →

taglist!:

@weasleyswizarding-wheezes​

[the-bjd-community-confess]

More Divaz confos

Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.

1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.

~Anonymous

2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way

/s

~Anonymous

3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!

~Anonymous

4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......

~Anonymous 

5. RE: BJD Divaz

I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.

I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.

I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.

I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?

If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.

Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".

Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?

The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.

This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.

~Anonymous

6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.

My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.

~Anonymous

7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.

~Anonymous

8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.

PROS

-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.

-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.

-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.

-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.

CONS

-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.

-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.

-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.

All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.

Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.

~Anonymous

[lunatic-fandom-space]

Okay, you know how I said I wanted to watch all these german minecraft series and then watch 3rd Life SMP? Yea, I actually dont have the attention span to watch a bunch of white bread boys fuck around in minecraft with little to no story, regardless of wether theyre american or european so Im just gonna write this post and them start watching 3rd Life SMP so yeah.

First, I kinda want to discuss what Im hoping for on like, a meta-level I guess. The only other minecraft RP Ive watched that seems similar to this is Dream SMP so expect lots of comparisons.

I like to split dsmp into three major parts: no story/non-rp, story/non-rp and story/rp.

The first part was literally just a live streamed vanilla minecraft let's play and it was boring as shit. It felt exactly like watching a bunch of dudes play minecraft and unless they acknowledged the people in their donations (who could uncomfortably pushy and even shippy at times) you did not at all get the impression they were even aware of the stream. And as much as I appreciate some level of authenticity in this type of content, I also expect to be entertained by it and this did not even meet my bare minimum standard of entertainment. Admittedly, my attention span is very low so that definitely has something to do with it, but still. I personally have never felt anything but boredom and occasionally intense discomfort while watching anything from this 'era' of dsmp.

The second part was the start of the first conflict, and thus the start of some semblance of a story. They were kind of 'roleplaying' already (both in the sense that they obviously have their personas for their content and in sense that they didnt actually have grievances with one another and were just playing it up for the sake of entertainment) but it was more on the fly, even less focused and less serious. However, it was already legues more fun to watch.

And then we had the third part, where, starting with Wilbur Soot joining and deciding to larp Hamilton, they started to plan things out more and have more complex and/or dramatic conflicts. Needless to say, this was/is the best part in my opinion and what made me see the appeal of dsmp.

What Im hoping for 3rd Life SMP is, that they skip atleast the first part. From what I can tell, it was created sometime after dsmp has been in that third part for a bit and it is a minecraft rp, so Im assuming the people behind it wanted to do something similar, just with the story aspect there on purpose and from the get-go, if you know what I mean. And by the way, I dont think thats wrong or even "copying" in the slightest. Dsmp very much seems like a case of "they did it first, not best" and if anything, I think it would be a shame if people didn't want to do their own spin on this basic concept.

What Im personally hoping for in terms of the 'style' of roleplay itself, I really hope that they dont seperate it as rigidly into lore and non-lore as they did in dsmp. Ideally, they would do it like Ranboo (Wilbur when he was playing Ghostbur to an extend too, but he didnt actually stream and have his own POV back then), where he's always kinda 'In-Character' even when there isnt really anything happening in the plot at that moment. Again, I just dont have the attention span for no story in series like this anymore, so I'd appreciate it on a personal level, but I also think that it could humanize the characters more and potentially add additional depth to them. Especially since it looks like 3rd Life is made by the Hermitcraft group and if the stuff Ive read about Hermitcraft (especially in comparison to dsmp) it wont thrive off intense conflicts and wars in quite the same way, so that could also be a way of making a calmer rp interesting.

And now, some actual plot predictions!

So, the way I found 3rd Life SMP was this really neat 'Pitiful Children' animatic by ZylisticArt. I didnt actually 'watch' it because when I look up animatics I just kinda stare at the screen, not processing anything because Im too busy imagining my own OC animatic to the song, but I did read the description and was mildly intrigued, and its the main reason I wanted to watch 3rd Life so Im going to properly watch it now and post my predictions for the plot below.

***

The description mentions something about the animatic being based on some kinda theory, but I only skimmed it in order to not get spoiled so idk what thats really about. Im mostly intrigued by the fact that the description mentions it being a hardcore SMP (with a twist!), that, combined with the name and the visuals of the animatkc lead me to a couple conclusions;

I dont really know how Hardcore mode works in multiplayer, but in singleplayer you just get permanently kicked out of your world when you die, so Im assuming it works like that on a server too, except on a server, Im pretty sure you have the option of being 'reinvited' onto a server by the admin(s) so you could theoretically have three lives while keeping it a hardcore project where you cant regenerate without potions or golden apples and all that. Again, idk if thats actually how hardcore works but I sure hope it is, because thats what Im basing pretty much all of my predictions on.

In the animatic there were like green people, yellow people and a red guy who was like, the antagonist I guess. I think the green guys still have all their lives, the yellow ones are down to two and the red lads are all down to their last one. Maybe theres gonna be a thing thats like, if you lose a life you lose a part of your soul and that makes you evil or something? Yknow, like the whole "character comes back wrong" thing, except its the conflict of the entire series. Pitiful Children is very much a 'Manipulating Others Into Doing Harmful Shit' kinda song, and I feel like that would be very in-line with a plotline like that, yknow?

Im not expecting there to be wars/conflicts on the scale of dsmp (no blown up countries here bois) but I am expecting to get ridiculously attached to a place that inevitably gets blown up/set on fire by an antagonist.

Speaking of antagonists, theyre definitely also doing the whole multiple POV thing, which means everyone is an antagonist in one way or another and Im a solutely watching every POV from every characters so that I know the full context and story of everything, so I can have the most correct opinions on them, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve.

Since these are the Hermitcraft guys Im expecting some beautiful builds that make me feel insanely untalented and the same thing with redstone shit.

Ghosts. If they havent added some kind of ghost mechanic/lore at the time Im writing this, they will add one in later, mark my words 3rd Life fandom, mark my words...

Thats pretty much it. This is all going under my mcyt tag too, and I dont think I'll be live blogging it, but it really depends on how interesting it is.

Also, if youre a 3rd Life fan who already watched all of it, the only thing youre allowed to respond to this with is a meme that is horribly incomprehensible to anyone who hasnt watched it.

Have a nice day!

[psychopersonified]

Interrupted

Q’s video conference gets interrupted by a half naked man wielding a cat... 

Inspired by the multitude of wonderful fanart featuring Q and Bond in front of a computer, some clothed, some not quite 😉. And also by stories of zoom call accidents.

Tags: Freshly established relationship. Breaking the news. 

-------------

“…How much progress are we making in regards to the drag coefficient?” is the next question on Q’s mind as he reviews the R&D stage-gate checklist. Q has his attention on the tablet in front of him, marking up the design drawing with a stylus. The image is shared onscreen with the other three participants of the call. 

“Wind tunnel test results are back, the best we’ve achieved so far is using V308 design, but as expected it does come with some compromise to practicality—”

At R’s sudden pause, Q looks up and turns towards the screen displaying the participants’ video feed. 

“Sorry R I didn’t catch that, you might have cut out for a moment.” He adjusts the wireless earbuds in case they’ve come loose. 

Jenny’s image smiles widely and the others follow suit. “Sir, did you adopt a new kitty?” 

The unexpected question prompts him to look around his desk. He spies Spot lounging out of view of the webcam, by his favourite window perch having just had breakfast. Q assumes the other black and white cat, Jellicles must be somewhere under Spot’s large orange lump. 

“Uh, no?” he is a little discomfited, not knowing what brought on the bizarre tangent in the discussion. 

“Boss, you sure about this? He’s a big one. Might eat you out of house and home,” Nish joins in the ribbing. 

“Granted he’s a silent killer. Any unwanted gifts dropped off on your carpet yet?” Jamila this time. 

“What on earth are you all talking about—,“ in his own video feed minimised out of the way on the bottom right corner, Q finally catches sight of movement in the background. 

The problem with open plan living Q notices for the first time, is the lack of privacy. Not an issue if you’re living alone, but when you have house guests, it makes it trickier. Q’s webcam faces the dining area where Agent 007 is currently making a spectacle of himself. His shirtless muscular back is half turned to them. The light grey sweatpants he is wearing slung dangerously low on his hips - the tops of his well sculpted glutes artfully exposed.

Bond had wandered absently into the dining area, one arm cradling a restless black and white cat to his chest like a baby, but his attention is focused on the tablet held in his other hand. Jellicles is not happy at being ignored - headbutting Bond under the chin and attempting repeatedly to bop the human on the nose to get his attention. 

When the agent is sufficiently annoyed, he locks eyes with the cat for a moment before tipping his head to smush his nose against cat’s forehead - which causes Jellicles to meow loudly in reply. 

Q turns back to look at his monitor, all three participants on the call are staring in open-mouthed shock. He searches his desk for something to throw; a squishy stress toy in the shape of a cow would suffice. Q aims for the torso, but the toy bounces comically off Bond’s rock hard arse instead.

That catches Bond’s attention and he turns around - Q regrets not thinking this one through. He and his little audience are now treated to the frontal view, which is arguably even more distracting. The agent’s golden tan glows in the morning light - accentuating the definition of his well developed pectorals all the way to the rippling planes of the chiseled abdominals and the blonde trail of hair peeking out of the waistband. Further below, the soft cotton blend material of the sweatpants does little to hide the endowments underneath. 

Bond raises a quizzical eyebrow at him. He’d put the tablet down and caught one of the cat’s paws in his hand  in the interim - to stop it from trying to touch his nose and was kissing each little toe-bean before the interruption. Bond is in a fantastic mood this morning and Jellicles must adore him enough to allow such manhandling. 

Q scowls at him and mouths ‘I’m on a call’ while using a hand to gesture at his monitor and the webcam. Bond’s expression turns apologetically wide-eyed for a second in acknowledgment of his little gaffe. But in the next moment, he appears to brush it off -hanged for a sheep as a lamb-.

Instead of ducking out of view, he takes four purposeful strides towards Q’s desk, the cat still in his arms. Q can’t decide if disabling his video would cause more suspicion or if they should just cease with the charade - somehow ‘he’s just a friend who sleeps over and cuddles my cats’ defence doesn’t quite stack up at this point.

Behind him now and without a trace of shame, Bond bends over a shoulder to wink at the three familiar faces in the monitor. Q resists the urge to slap the man away, opting instead to glower at him. The agent senses a rebuke forthcoming, so preemptively uses the cat as a shield. He holds the black and white cat up to the webcam, then pushes the cat in front of Q’s face - Jellicles doesn’t disappoint, immediately latching on and playfully chewing on Q’s nose. 

“Ah! James!” Q tries to flinch away. The assault is over in seconds when Bond pulls the cat away but then unexpectedly returns to peck Q on the corner of his mouth before he can even protest. When Bond straightens again, the expansive view of naked chest and abs fills up most of the right side of Q’s video feed. 

Q has to half turn and physically nudge the agent away with a splayed hand against warm hard muscle. The touch a searing reminder of their activities the night before. Bond is immovable when he doesn’t want to be moved, but he relents after a second or two. His parting gift, was to dip down and nuzzle Q in the hair, using the misdirection to hook a finger around the collar of Q’s jumper, exposing the top of a well bruised collarbone. The hand then slips to caress a long line down his chest to his stomach. 

“James! Will you stop it!” Q hisses. His next reaction is to stab the bastard in the side with the blunt tip of the tablet stylus to salvage his ruined modesty. The man is a menace! 

The bloody peacock doesn’t even have the decency to retreat out of camera view after that, instead he claims a seat in the dinning area, beaming with a satisfied smile. The cat now balanced on his stomach and chest, he moves another chair around so he can prop his legs on it and stretch out, putting himself on blatant display. An artist would beg to paint such a perfect tableau. Q wants to taser the smile off his face. 

Q clears his throat, not daring to look directly at his colleagues - too flustered to offer an explanation as to why 007 was molesting him in his home. So he tries ineffectively for the pretend-it-didnt-happen route, “Um… Right. Where were we? Jenny, the wind tunnel results?....” 

Jamila blinks furiously. Nish makes a hoarse croaking, “Whaaaa…..” like air escaping his lungs. 

And R… well R just says, “Sir, I think I speak for everyone here that we’re traumatised by what we just saw, bloody traumatised. We don’t think we can continue with today’s discussion until a satisfactory explanation has been provided...” R forces Q into a corner. Two other heads nod their support for Jenny’s statement. None of them appear disapproving - but it is guaranteed they are going to take the mickey out of him. 

There is no way he is going to spill tea with Bond still within earshot. The agent’s ego is unmanageable as it is. “If I promise to reveal all on Monday, can we please get on with this?” Q tries to make his whisper sound imperious to no avail - a half naked man lounging in the background tends to undermine one’s authority. 

“Health & Safety would disagree. It’s an occupational hazard you know, to be distracted around dangerous lab equipment,” Jamila points out. The others agree. Mutiny from his top three.

“How is my personal life -your- distraction?” 

“When there is a not inconsiderable pot waiting to be distributed. Come on boss, there’s still time for me to collect my winnings if things go my way,” Nish begs while consulting his phone for the records. 

“So… he’s -James- now is he? Is this a one time slumber party or an extended sleepover?” R powers through heedless. 

Q considers his answer, he is marginally aware of the betting pool around the stupid game ‘Fluster the Quartermaster’ and its various derivative odds regarding which agent, the timeline, where, method of burn etc. - but he doesn’t want to know the specifics as he wants to maintain plausible deniability should it implode in everyone’s faces. 

Bond is still playing with he cat in the background, trying to teach it commands. Q doesn’t want to say it out loud, so he types it into the group chat on the side of the screen:

::We’re moving his things over later today.::

“Called it!” Jenny slams a hand on the table and punches the air in victory. Oh she knew it! Q taking the Friday off (or any day off for that matter) that had nothing to do with his cats was enough cause for intrigue. 

But after the suspiciously expensive gift in the form of the red Hyundai a few months ago, it was just a matter of time. It was not the cost that was the issue, Bond’s wardrobe of bespoke suits probably cost more than the car several times over - it was the sentiment behind it that gave Jenny the courage to place a sizeable bet on them taking the next step towards cohabitation. The car, she read correctly in Bond’s weird wooing language was tantamount to an engagement ring. 

Nish and the others weren’t as good as reading signs, so majority of the odds were still focused around the early stages “NO! What? Wait… When did this happen? What about first date? First snog? First shag?” Nish scrolls furiously through his phone. 

The bets have taken a far more intrusive route than Q had ever expected. “Well I’m sorry my personal life does not follow the path of standard operating procedure… now can we -please- move on?” He’s acutely aware that he is blushing bright pink from head to toe. 

Jenny shakes her head, the only person that would dare to override him, “Q, you took the day off - so take the day off. The prototype can wait. No emergencies at the moment, the castle is still standing. We’ll call if something pops up. Now bugger off and enjoy your day with -James-!” 

*Sigh* Q rubs his temples and gives in reluctantly, “Fine! Yes, alright…” . He knows when something is a lost cause and the news is likely to cause a buzz in Q-Branch that would last the whole weekend - there goes department productivity. He’d hoped to come up with a less sensational way of disseminating the news. He expects massive ribbing on Monday. 

“Oh! Permission to inform Ms Moneypenny about the change in status?” Jenny asks. The girls are having drinks tonight and it would be hell trying to conceal anything from Eve. 

“No no! I’ll… inform her myself... and please try to keep this within Q-Branch, for now?” Eve would find seven ways of killing him if she had to find out from someone else. She’d already ripped into him, calling him a bloody clueless twit when she’d found out about the car Bond bought him as a ‘birthday gift’. As cars go, it was a cheap one - but Bond’s logic to get him to accept it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to him. 

When they’ve all signed off, Q shuts down the computer and lets himself be drawn back into the life inside his flat.  Balanced on Bond’s stomach, Jellicles has miraculously learned how to give high-fives on command. 

“Get dressed please. I’d like breakfast before we head over to your place.” Q tell him as he passes behind the agent. He places a hand on James’ shoulder, causing the agent to tip his head back. Q drops a kiss on his forehead.

“By the way, have you told Eve about… this?” Q asks as he combs his fingernails across Bond’s scalp. 

“Mmm… Not yet. Was thinking of letting her know on Monday.” Bond mutters, eyes closed. The relaxed blissed out look on his face was worth enduring a million papercuts. 

“Well, that’ll be too late. Since you’ve gone and announced it with as much discretion as you conduct your missions…,” Q tugs firmly at Bond’s ears as reprimand, ”…the whole of Q-Branch will know before morning tea. Which means Eve will find out by lunch.”

Just then Q’s phone on the dinning table buzzes with an incoming call. They both pause to stare at the screen. Caller ID displays ::Moneypenny:: ominously. 

“I’ll get dressed. You tell her… She called me a dithering halfwit just last week.” Bond straightens before bolting for the bedroom. 

“Coward!” Q yells at him. He steels himself to answer the phone. When he does, he all but squeaks, “Hello Eve?—“ 

——— FIN————

Notes: The mention about the car gift is from another fic of mine and can be found here - Car troubles and Not Quite Dates.

If you liked this fic, there’s more like it on the blog. Enjoy!

[shinycorvidae]

Head Cannon Dump Part 4 of 6

The two Vs, NV/Vic/V Part 1: Physicality and Personality

-NV is Vic, my V, a nomad

-Hiro or SKV, her roommate, then friend, then lover, Street kid background (vaguely), hes @smilepal s

Basic/Physical:

She's 28, at game start

Half Cuban, half white and has lived in a desert for most of her life so she has warm brown tanned skin. Warm yellow/brown eyes which can look piercingly through you or soft and understanding depending on her mood.

Her hair is a blue color with a tinge of green. It was supposed to be a forest green but her sister grabbed the wrong bottle of perma-dye when they broke into the local ripperdoc's clinic to dye their hair.

Her lips are also permanently colored. She likens it to war paint but she doesn't want the hassle of applying it/worrying about it rubbing off.

Ex-nomad, sleeps like the dead anywhere because she's used to having people around to watch her back

Her bones crack like fucking glow sticks.

-Johnny: how are your bones in worse condition than mine were?? I was in my 30s?

-Vic *just finger guns*

Vic sleeps like an idiot, all contorted and sideways

-Hiro tries to push her back into a normal situation so she doesn’t wake up with her back hurting more than usual.

Has a snake tattoo snaking around her chest for Viper, got it with funds from the first mission with Jackie. She also has a devils head and Chippin' In lyrics on her back from her teen years.

V really didnt want to admit to Johnny that she was a samurai fan so she goes out of her way to not look at her back while hes in her head. "Who? Is that some bushido reenactment shit?"

This goes well until Johnny has control of her body and goes to the bathroom to check on her ribs, thinking he broke them.

-J: "I know, Vic."

-Nv: "What?"

-J: I know about your secret."

-Nv: "Ehehe secret? Wha-"

-J: "I SAW YOUR BACK V"

-Nv: "oh fu-"

-J: "BUSHIDO REENACTMENT MY ASS."

Pansexual.

She has a pair of mantis blades, which are basically a safety blanket for her, weapons that can't ever be taken away so she's never helpless. So when she's nervous/feeling helpless she runs her fingers over the seam of them.

They’re her weapon of last resort though so if you find her at home cleaning the blood off them, you know a mission went fucking sideways

They were her dad, Michael's, which he got from the army so they're military issue high end suckers. Also around 50 years old lmao.

They make Vik weep because finding replacement parts is impossible

V only smokes the occasional joint and gets drunk once in a blue moon. She's managed to avoid smoking completely and is pissed that Johnny tried to sabotage that.

“She gives him the occasional cigarettes "as a treat"

"Aww Johnny you were actually a decent human being, here have a cigarette"

"I'm not a fucking cat V"

"Just say thank you, Dickhead"

"Fuck off"

"Love you too"

Has a bullet wound scar on her thigh which is covered up with a simple black band tattoo. Her only other significant scars are some on her chest from a motorcycle crash as a 16 year old. She's always had decent access to a ripper doc so while she's been injured a lot, she doesn't have many scars

Personality:

V is a sweetheart. She honestly believes the best of everyone. She grew up in a nomad community where everyone worked together for the good of everyone, and kind of expects the same of everyone in night city.

She continues to trust people blindly, despite being burned a couple times. She has faith in herself to be able to fight her way out of a bad situation should she get backstabbed, so shed rather bet on people being generally good.

Life can be rough in the badlands. Resources are scarce. Vic learned how to conserve resources from a young age. Shes frugal with her money, hoards anything that might be useful, and is really into reusing/recycling things. Shes brought Hiro cyberware she pulled out of dead bodies and is generally handing with mechanical fixes.

This also applies to food. When youve had days were literally the only thing you had to eat that day were some dusty grasshoppers you managed to forage, your standards for food fall drastically.

This drives Hiro and Johnny nuts who often have to stop her from eating random/possibly poisoned food.

The fact that shes a blindly trusting person just amplifies this.

*V walking in with a plate of cookies*

"..whats that V?"

-Nv: "Oh hey, the neighbor gave me these cookies! Want some?"

*Johnny and Hiro who both know you shouldn't accept random food from strangers in Night City, immediately disposing of them.*

-Nv: "What a waste of food :("

-H: "HOW MANY DID YOU EAT?"

-J: "How did you live before us?!"

-H: "Jackie. It was definitely Jackie, the Saint."

-...Not very long later,

"we see you V, don't eat those out of the bin"

-Nv:" :("

She's very secure in her sexuality, a naturally attractive and sexual person. Her clan had very little sexual stigma at all, its hard to have any shame over sex when there's only tents without soundproof walls. Her whole clan was definitely also very into free love/poly/open relationships, to the point were most kids didn't know who their parents were and were raised communally. Having sex was just a platonic thing that just sort of happened.

-Nv: “It’s hard to get all embarrassed about privacy when you grew up in a place with only tent walls. It’s just sex.

-SKv: “V, you blush and get tongue-tied whenever the hot neighbor even vaguely looks your way.

-NV: “WELL I didn’t normally have to ASK for sex, it just kinda happened and flirting is HARD, AND YOU NIGHT CITY RESIDENTS ARE ALL SNEAKY ABOUT IT”

Shes used to having sex with her platonic friends, her first couple of one night stands in NC were just an absolute mess--then she tried to sleep with Jackie which went predictably well.

-NV: “Do you want to have sex?”

-Jackie: *Chokes on his tequila. “What?! I’m with Misty??”

-NV: “...and?”

-Jackie: “I mean...I mean you never gave any signs?!

-NV: “Signs??”

-Jackie: “Hermana, most people in NC don’t just sleep with their friends. I mean. They do. But they don’t. It’s complicated.”

-NV: “Obviously.”

Considering that, V is. HORRID. at flirting in Night City. She's never really had to do that kind of verbal dance before and a lot of come on/innuendo goes over her head. She also has zero body shame and often walks around their apartment naked and will change nonchalantly in public.

-Nv: *Noticing people staring at her at the club and going into work mode*

-Hiro: *Noticing Nv counting the exits*

"what's wrong?"

-Nv: "That man's staring at me. Maybe he's Arasaka."

-Hiro: "He's staring at your ass, V."

-Nv: "Oh."

Definitely has the occasional “why the fuck didn’t you just say so?!” moments with the boys

*Cue SKv trying to be seductive all day, dropping things and bending over to get them all slow, changing in the living room/working out shirtless, ect. Nv is appreciative but she doesn’t really do anything, and by the end of the day*

-SKv: “For the love of god JUST FUCK ME ALREADY”

-Nv: “What? Alright, geeze all you had to do was ask.”

As trusting as V is, she's an amazing soldier. Her ex military father has been training her to kill people and protect their clan since she was six. She killed her first human at 9 years old.

Due to this while she is a friendly, happy person when she's in a fight or during a mission, she becomes a cold and calculated person, all emotion wiping from her face. She makes quick, decisive decisions, cutting her enemies down at the knees before they have a chance to fight back.

She's a brutal shot with her sniper rifle, knows her way around precision rifle and is deadly with knives both as a close range and throwing weapon.

Vic has a tactical brain/training and is always planning. Its instinct by now. Planning the exits to a room, the quickest way to take down any possible assailants, an enemys open weak points. She takes pride in her skills as a soldier as she sees it as her way of protecting/providing for her family.

As outgoing a person she is she sometimes goes too far when in 'work mode' and needs Hiro to be her moral compass/pull her back.

Her ways of tackling missions is finding a snipers nest and waiting patiently until the perfect moment presents itself, no longer how long that takes. Plus a healthy dose of stealth and pinpoint accuracy.

It takes a lot to push her to revenge but if you threaten her family, she will pick you, your backup, adult (v doesnt touch kids.) family and resources apart methodically, patiently and brutally until your the last one standing. Then she will let you stew, waiting for her final shot. It could come immediately, a week later or even a month

[introvertedmultifandom]

I fairly recently came to the realisation that most people spend their lives dreaming of things they want amnd cant afford and feeling shame they didnt live up to some fucking standard one way or another. That the world is a grind  and expectations and then it’s over.

Sure there is good bits but thats it, it’s just trying and my depressed brain with anxiety that makes me question everything I do and undervalues anything i have done..... is just never gonna work in that... I’m just never gonna be a functional person in this world unless I rebuild every little bit of myself as if starting over.....

y’know I wish I was back in highschool and my brain physically didnt let me think about my future without bluecreening and breaking down... didnt have to try and plan it out

[btxtreads]

ANOTHER TAG ASHJHJASD

extra long tag game (aka a tmi that no one particularly cares for)

tagged by @txthearteu​

tagging @markhyucknorenminchenji​ @qtsoobin​ @beomberry​ @txtdiaries​ and other people who wanna do it idk

ONE

tell me the first song that made you stan your current fave group and why did your faves attract you so much?

of course, none other than king943 hSJADJSAJHAS. He’s a little secret I’ll let you all in on: the first person I actually noticed in TXT was,,,,,,, Kang Taehyun hSDHJAHJSDAHSA but he wasn’t my bias. I just thought he was cute (also amused me bc my BTS bias was Taehyung and I found a guy named Taehyun cute), but I didn’t stan them then. I started stanning when I saw ONE DREAM.TXT where they talked to BTS and found them really cute and endearing. Looking into them, they were wild, and chaotic and so fun and also i got rEAAAALLY attached to Soobin. So here I am. There u go, my stanning story.

TWO

rule: answer the ten questions and write your own!

what’s your unrealistic goal for life?

becoming a famous actress or singer hJSHADJSA

if you had known that we would be in a global pandemic, what’s one thing that you would’ve done before things shut down (if they have for you)?

Went to a theme park. I miss going to theme parks 🥺

what’s an unconventional thing that you carry around with you when you go out?

hmmm most of the time i just go out with just my phone and money unless I need to bring a bag due to safety concerns/more items needed. So I’d say nothing unconventional.

favourite type of plushies and why?

God do I seem boring hsahsajjsa but i wasn’t too big on plushies. I had a gigantic teddy bear named Justin when I was a kid (it’s a bear with shades that my brother gave me) and I used to buy plushies whenever I’m in disneyland, it’s all in my sister’s reading lounge. The only plushie in my room now is a Mollang doll wearing like a blue shirt/dress, it’s my favorite rn It’s squishyyyy

favourite song right now?

right now, it’s Work It by Sabrina Carpenter.

something that you’ve always wanted to learn?

Dancing (i literally suck. i have no idea how. no joke), Vocal Lessons (had some lessons briefly for like a year but i stopped and want to take some again), music production, acting, hosting

tell a funny story about yourself (or just something that you’ve witnessed)

ok okok so one time in our class groupchat we were talking about class elections for officers. There were muse votes and some people were saying they want me to be the muse but i didnt want to bc i was busy with work. Then they started saying that they want me to be the muse and this guy that i rejected be the escort. while this is happening, i was simping hard for soobin in another chat. anyways, i got everything mixed up and accidentally sent the soobin simp stuff to the class chat and everyone thought i was simping for the classmate i rejected i was so asHAMED.

headphones or speakers? why?

speakers! idk i just like blastic the music loud.

craving any food right now? what are you craving?

anything with cheese

which music streaming platform do you prefer? why?

spotify since its free for me askjjksad someone pays for my subscription lmaooo

😌✌️

questions from cj to me:

android or apple? why?

APPLE because im loyal 😌 and i guess im just used to it so its easier to use for me + all my gadgets at home are mac

words of affirmation or physical affection? why?

I think there should be a good balance of both. The words will have the ability to give you this sense of comfort and satisfaction and you know just overall a peace of mind when you hear the right words??? and physical affection bc sometimes it’s just better to get a hug or a kiss isntead of talking yk? actions speak louder than words sometimes

bean bag or rocking chair? why?

Honestly, this would depend. If I’m reading a book and feeling very vintage with a hot cup of coffee, definitely a rocking chair. If I’m watching TV and basically just chilling I’d go for Bean Bag. I like maintaining the atmosphere.

do you view a half-filled glass as half-full or half-empty or an in-between? why? (go as deep as you can)

I view it as in-between, because there’s always room for improvement. There’s always things to change, and consider, and make better. There’s no such thing as perfect.

If someone were to grant your wish right now, what would it be and why?

Please stop corona right now and let everyone go back to their daily lives and please let me attend a TXT concert bls im begging on my kNEES

if someone were to give you anything you want right now, what would it be and why? (something that can be held)

Give me Soobin I just want to give him a hug. this is valid i can hold him

favorite season and why

Winter! Even if I’ve never experienced snow or winter before, the whole idea of snow is just really fun and endearing to me. One of my bucketlists is to see snow in real life. I think it has to do with the fact that I’ve always been this person to prefer the cold over heat.

what made you enter tumblr?

I’ve always been here! Just not in kpop tumblr. I’ve since deleted my old accounts and shame  but i came back to write. It’s always been so stress-relieving to me, to write without any expectations on my back because I’m thinking about grades or a competition. Also Soobin simping is a daily thing and I gotta release it somewhere man

are you happy with where you are in life right now? why or why not?

Yes. I may not be the richest or the prettiest, or smartest or whatever, but I have a good family that loves me. I have good friends that support me and I have TXT and BTS to help me cope when things get overwhelming. I have a job that gives me a little bit of income (it’s not too common for college students here to get jobs like in the US, most of them just focus on acads) and all the means to continue my education amidst the pandemic. So really, I’m grateful for where I am now.

to see the boys in real life but for it to happen only once in your lifetime, or to meet the boys via online fan meeting as many times as you can in your lifetime? why?

Why do you have to do me dirty cj,,,,, prolly online. I may not get to hug them or anything but I get to talk to them still. As may times as I want to. And as a girl whose sanity literally just depends on Soobin giggles rn it’ll be very therapeutic to me to see them and talk to them as much as I could, even just through a screen.

QUESTIONS FROM ME TO YOU:

Cinema or Netflix? Why?

Fire or Rain? Why?

What’s the worst experience you’ve had as a KPOP stan?

How do you handle stress?

Favorite Disney Princess and why?

Which fictional character do you say you relate the most to?

How did you get into KPOP?

What kind of merch you got 👀

Would you date a KPOP idol? What would you do if you do date one? (doesnt have to be your bias, just wanna see what y’all would do)

Would you rather be with someone you love but doesn’t love you back or be with someone that loves yu but you don’t love them back? (Or, as the Filipinos would say, Mahal ko o Mahal Ako)

THREE

rule: bold the statements that apply to you, italicize your aspirations, then tag nine people.

AIR ༉⋆͙̈

i have small hands / i love the night sky / i watch animals and birds when i pass them by / i drink herbal tea / i wake to see the dawn / the smell of dust is comforting / i’m valued for being wise / i prefer books to music / i meditate / i find joy in learning new truths from the world around me

FIRE ༉⋆͙̈

i don’t have straight hair / i like to wear ripped jeans and overalls / i play an organized sport / i love dogs / i am not afraid of adventure / i love to talk to strangers / i always try new foods / i enjoy road trips / summer is my favorite season / my radio is always playing

WATER ༉⋆͙̈

i wear bracelets on my wrists / i love the bustle of the city / i have more than one set of piercings / i read poetry / i love the sound of a thunderstorm / i want to travel the world / i sleep past midday most days / i love simply lit dinners and fluorescent signs / i rewatch kids shows out of nostalgia / i see emotions in colors not words

EARTH ༉⋆͙̈

i wear glasses or contacts / i enjoy doing the laundry / i am a vegetarian or vegan / i have an excellent sense of time / my humor is very cheerful / i am a valued advisor to my friends / i believe in true love / i love this chill of mountain air / i’m always listening to music / i am highly trusted by the people in my life

AETHER ༉⋆͙̈

i go without makeup in my daily life / i make my own artwork / i keep on track of my tasks and time / i always know true north / i see beauty in everything / i can always smell flowers / i smile at everyone i pass by / i always fear history repeating itself / i have recovered from a mental disorder / i can love unconditionally

FOUR

PERSONAL

name: -

nickname: rina

birthday: - 

zodiac: gemini

nationality: filipino

languages: english, filipino 

gender: female

sexuality: straight

height: 5′2 like 2 years ago, i probably grew like an inch or two 

BLOG STUFF

inspiration for muse: --

meaning behind my url: bts and txt fanfics to read hasjhsahj

blog established: ,,,,, i cant remember askjjksdjkdsa but the blog is only a few months old!

followers: 384!!! love yall 

FAVORITES

favourite animals: b u n n y y y y y

favourite books: CAMP HALF BLOOD SERIES BY RICK RIORDAN IM ZEUS’ DAUGHTER YALL

favourite colour: black, blue, purple

favourite fictional characters: Percy Jackson, Jaron from Ascendance Trilogy, Chimmy!!! hihi

favourite flower: white roses

favourite scent: coffee

favourite season: winter

RANDOM

average hours of sleep: 3-5 or 8-10.

cats or dogs: dogs because cats scare me

coffee, tea or hot chocolate: coffee!!! especially if it’s iced and sweet

current time: 12:21 AM

dream trip: California. Look I have the visa, pls miss rona. just leave so cali can just let me IN

dream job: actress or singer

hobbies: writing, reading, watching crackvids

hogwarts house: gryffindor

last movie watched: Work It (bc it has sabrina carpenter ahshsahsa i have low standards when we talk about Sabrina)

last song listened to: Helpless - Hamilton OBC

no. of blankets you sleep with: 1

random fact(s): if given the chance again, I would go on a date in high school. Also try to exert more effort in my appearance back then i looked like an honest to god M E S S (tbh i still do but now i have eyebrow liner on) hsajhsajhh

FIVE

10 things I can’t stop listening to (at the moment)

Run Away - TXT

Work It - Sabrina Carpenter

Euphoria - BTS

Song Cry - Yeonjun

Helpless - Hamilton OBC

Satisfied - Hamilton OBC

Journey to the past - Anastasia OBC

Lost in the Woods - Frozen OST

Perfect Song - Sabrina Carpenter

Friends - BTS