#and arrows pointing to them both saying 'has a THING about being butch'

[bumblingbabooshka]

Extremely correct thing my boyfriend said

[kumidark]

more on these ships below the cut:

sorbetcrepe: they met when sorbet shark accidentally destroyed some of strawberry crepe's wafflebots;;; as an apology, they let strawberry crepe run jam/dough tests on them since they were curious how sorbet shark worked (being a cookie/shark and all). the two get up to hijinks together, and sorbet shark brings strawberry crepe little trinkets from the travels across the sea. as a thank you gift, strawberry crepe built a miniature saltwater pond for sorbet shark to stay in/rehydrate in when they visit the vanilla kingdom!!

kumidark: they're traveling together after dark choco left the cookies of darkness. kumiho is super casually affectionate with him, something that throws dark choco off. he only lets her get away with it because sometimes it's nice to feel loved (also he's touch-starved but shhhh he doesn't know that). if you wanna know about how they met n stuff, feel free to read my kumidark fic on ao3 and/or look through my older kumidark posts^^

carapastry: somehow, pastry manages to get away from the st pastry order and caramel arrow and her become friends!! caramel arrow helps her move past her trauma related to the order and pastry helps caramel arrow realize she wants to kiss a woman on the lips 😳;;; also they both wield bows!!!!

figblossom: someone in my server created this ship and i'm in LOVE.....okay so basically they're both super friendly and kind and caring and they both love picnics/storytelling!!! they would have the sweetest on dates in flower fields and cherry blossom would bake delicious treats for fig to try and!!!! basically they're super cute!!!!!

twizzlytiger: okay HEAR ME OUT: twizzly gummy comes across tiger lily at some point and realizes she's s u p e r fun to mess with and now everytime she stops by that area she seeks her out to mess with her. meanwhile tiger lily is completely done with twizzly gummy and exasperated with her shenanigans, but also she has the most fun when she's around her, and twizzly treats her butter tiger nice so....maybe she can stick around.....cue accidental pining and twizzly realizing she doesn't just hang around tiger lily for the laughs, but because she actually Likes Her. twizzly gummy wouldn't know how to deal with it so she'd end up blowing up a castle or something idk.....yeah.......

wereyam: another ship from my server!! i fell in love with it because purple yam would NOT take werewolf's self-deprecating comments. werewolf would say something bad about himself and purple yam would yell WRONG and werewolf wouldnt be able to say anything else. also werewolf's always scared of hurting people because of his big wolf form but purple yam not only wouldn't be scared of it, he'd be able to handle it and fight back if werewolf ever lost control (which he wouldn't)^^

avomala: BUTCH GIRLFRIENDS!!! as stated above, mala's one of the only cookies who'll openly laugh at avocado's jokes and genuinely finds them funny, but also!! avocado is one of the only cookies who can almost handle mala's spice preferences (not completely though; she still has her limits);;; also!! avocado makes weapons for mala sauce sometimes as gifts, which mala l o v e s :3

cacaocaviar: dark cacao is notorious for being stern and refusing help from anybody, but imagine if the republic heard of his troubles (maybe after the whole thing with the soul jam) and sent caviar to help out!! caviar could help keep the licorice sea at bay, and cacao would finally have someone experienced whom he could put his trust in! peepaw x peepaw <3

univamp: yet another ship from my server!! vampire n cream unicorn are both essentially immortal, and they both are very mellow and somft;;;; cream unicorn is one of the only cookies who wouldn't mind vampire's sleepiness/laziness and would sit with him for hours while he nodded off^^ also, most importantly: THEIR HAIR FORMS A HEART!!!!! 💕💕💕💕

[ranma-rewatch]

Episode 12: A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

AAAAAhhhhh! After 10,000 years, I’m free! Time to watch more Ranma 1/2! We’re getting ready for the middle part of what I guess you could call the Kodachi introduction arc, and like I intimated last time, she’s not exactly my favorite character. That said, I am interested to see how this can play out over the course of two episodes, so next paragraph I’ll have watched the episode.

Uh, so, I don’t think an episode has surprised me by being this much better than I was expecting so far in this rewatch. Like I said before, low expectations, but I really enjoyed this one. The episode starts with Akane and Ranma heading to school on the day before the marital arts match, only for Kodachi to show up and attack Akane.

This has nothing to do with the match, though. She literally just came by to see Ranma, who she has fallen completely in love with, but decided to attack Akane on-sight because why not. After Akane literally throws her at Ranma, he is suddenly confronted by our old friend Tatewaki Kuno, who is surprised to hear of Kodachi’s affection for this rapscallion. After a few seconds of thought, he makes it clear Ranma has his permission to date her, but when Ranma snaps about now being asked about this, Kodachi gets sad, feeling like maybe Ranma hates her.

Trying to avoid her wrath, Ranma runs and hides behind Akane, pointing out that he is her fiance, which would put a hamper on dating. When Akane confirms this, new stakes are given to their upcoming fight: if Kodachi wins, she gets Ranma. Kuno is totally down with that, since with Ranma out of the way, he sees himself easily winning Akane’s (and Ranma’s) affection.

It’s as Kodachi runs off, laughing, that Kuno finally reveals why he jumped into this conversation in the first place: Kodachi is his little sister. He’s aware that she has quite a few terrible qualities, and so warns Akane that she is likely to cheat quite a bit before and during their fight. As he walks away, Ranma and Akane reel from this family revelation, and Ranma notes that he can actually see the resemblance now.

From there, we cut to Akane practicing that night in the dojo with Ranma. She’s clearly gotten a lot better, though makes it clear the new stakes have nothing to do with why she wants to win so badly. Just as Akane notes that she hasn’t had Ryoga’s assistance in training for the last few days, or seen P-chan, the piglet runs into the room, carrying evidence that he’d been in Hiroshima and Kyoto. (Fun fact: my best friend went to Hiroshima while she was studying abroad there!)

There’s some banter over Ryoga’s reappearance, but then Akane trips on a tool, injuring her ankle in the process. It’s bad enough that Kasumi makes clear there’s no way she can play in the match, which means they need a substitute to avoid giving up. They consider that they’d need to find someone with great marital arts skills, who is really acrobatic, and looks like a girl. All eyes go to Ranma just as Ryoga enters the room, having once again used Soun Tendo’s hot bath to change back to human, and throws cold water on Ranma.

He offers to train Ranma through the night, though it’s clear quickly that Ranma’s general skills do transfer pretty well. The only big hurdle is that in Rhythmic Gymnastics Martial Arts, the fighters aren’t allowed to deal direct blows, only use their themed weapons to fight. Akane observes at first, but they both tell her to go and get some sleep, which she ends up agreeing to. Once she’s gone, Ryoga gets serious in fighting, and reveals why he’s really doing this: he wants Ranma to lose. If he does, Ranma has to date Kodachi, which leaves Akane open to date him. He’s not trying to spar with Ranma, he’s trying to injure him bad enough that he can’t fight.

Akane wakes up the next morning and quickly hears the fight is still going on, heading into the dojo to find they’re going at it, though they’re both clearly exhausted. Oh, and the dojo is wrecked. Ranma is delirious from lack of sleep, and almost falls for a thumb tack in the hand trap from Kodachi when they go to the match at her school. Meanwhile, Ryoga is amazed to find that he’s managed to get from Akane’s house to the school without getting lost, and chalks the miracle up to the power of love. There’s another trick from Kodachi in the dressing room, and Ryoga is hit by random cold water while trying to get to the gymnasium, leading to Kodachi kidnapping him for some scheme.

Soon, it’s time for the match to begin, and Kuno is watching in the stands, ready to root for his sister for what he admits is the first time ever. Kodachi descends from the ceiling in a wedding dress while having rockets fired at her new opponent, all very on-brand for her. Ranma is asked what his name is, and he just gives them his real name, to Akane’s confusion. The Kuno’s both just take this as Ranma somehow having the exact same name as, well, Ranma, and some of their classmates in the crowd notice that they do look alike, pondering on how they’re connected.

The fight goes to start, but Kodachi begins by dazing Ranma with a twirly ribbon and an onslaught of black roses, then uses that opening to attach a chain to Ranma’s wrist. On the other end of that chain is P-chan, which Kodachi thinks will ensure she ends the match. But we don’t get to see that yet, because that’s for next episode!

So, a lot of thoughts, actually. First things first, I feel like this is the first episode of the series so far that’s really gone whole-hog into what a lot of people think of as the series’ main premise. For this whole set-up, Kodachi loves uncursed Ranma but hates Akane and cursed Ranma, Kuno loves cursed Ranma and Akane but hates uncursed Ranma, and Ryoga loves Akane and hates Ranma whether he’s cursed or not. This creates a network of alliances that all work against Ranma and Akane’s wishes. He doesn’t want to date Kodachi and Akane wants to get a victory for her school after Kodachi unfairly beat up the actual gymnastics team.

It all feels very farcical, in a good way. Throughout this rewatch, there have been times when the humor doesn’t really land for me, usually because it just gets too silly for me, if that makes any sense. But this worked perfectly, it was all very character driven while also being deeply ridiculous. Things like Kuno having the sense of mind to see that his sister is a weird one while not being cognizant of his own strangeness kind of brought it to earth in a way, and it was all just a good time.

I also quite enjoyed a lot of the animation, the changes to character designs, and the general dynamics on display. There was something weirdly smooth to how Ryoga entered Akane’s room and put his arm around Ranma’s shoulder that just felt cool to watch. The facial expressions in that scene, and throughout, were also in top form. The way he goes from clearly coming in with an ulterior motive, to revealing what he’s really up to, it all felt a little more devious than we get from Ryoga, but in a good way.

I’m not usually a big fan of leotards, but, uh, Ranma and Akane can both really rock them. (I’d also love to see uncursed Ranma in one, I’m sure his butt would look just as good.) Akane showed up to the match dressed like a ringside coach, and it just radiates powerful butch lesbian energy. The referee to the match is also dressed in a pretty masculine way, and similarly gives off wonderful vibes. Just a really aesthetically pleasing episode for me.

The pacing was also really tight. A lot of stuff got packed into the episode’s runtime, and I’d love to compare it to this section of the manga to see if that’s because it’s a particularly dense storyline or because they made the decision to just stuff the episode with as much manga as they could. We’ll get to my rating after the Character Spotlight, but this is just a treat of an episode, and one I have to say again that I wasn’t anticipating in the slightest. Major kudos to everyone who worked on this episode.

Okay, so, now let’s do a Spotlight on Kodachi. The big reason I held off on doing one last week is that her last name hadn’t been revealed, and her Kuno-ness is kind of a big part of who she is, I didn’t want to wait for the next time I decided to give her a Spotlight to cover that part of her.

Alright, so, as usual, let’s start with voice actors. In English, she actually had three different VA’s over the course of the series run. I’ve actually decided that, going forward, with cases like these I’m just going to focus on who the current voice actors are, and talk about the new ones when they appear. Her first actress in my native tongue is Teryl Rothery, who is actually more well known for her live-action work. She appears to play a main character in Stargate SG-1, which I have never seen, and has filled the role of Jean Loring in Arrow. (Which I have seen, but never noticed that Ray Palmer’s ex-wife was in the show in the seasons I saw of it.) In Japanese, she’s portrayed by Saeko Shimazu, who has actually played a role in every Rumiko Takahasi anime adaptation from that era, so that’s neat.

They definitely play the character a little differently. Shimazu is genuinely fantastic at playing Kodachi as the well known anime archetype of the Ojou. The way she does Kodachi’s laugh might be the best Ojou laugh I’ve ever heard, and she’s generally good playing the character oddly seriously. Like, if you didn’t know Kodachi was a dangerously violent person, her voice acting would just make you think she’s a soft spoken, very feminine girl. It fits her whole aesthetic really well, honestly. Rothery went in a very different direction. I feel like it’s hard to think of Kodachi as anything other than a villain in her voice, she’s more clearly malevolent, like a Sailor Moon villainess. Her version of the laugh is a lot more unhinged sounding, for lack of a more appropriate word.

That kind of leads into one thing I was kind of surprised to notice. It feels as though the Dub and Sub versions of this character differ quite a bit. In the English Dub, they frequently use words like ‘crazy’, ‘unstable’, and ‘mad’ to describe Kodachi, and in a way it kind of dominates her characterization. I’ll talk more about that in a minute, but I’ll say for now I had to sigh at those bits. But imagine my surprise to see the Sub instead talk about her being ill-mannered, stubborn, tenacious. As far as I can recall, they didn’t use any mental health-related words, instead just focusing on the idea that she will do anything to get what she wants.

This creates two fairly radically different versions of the character, at least for me. And I actually greatly prefer what I’m finding in the Sub. Kodachi there is played much more as a dark mirror to her brother. Ranma might say they’re the same, but they clearly aren’t. Kuno is a jerk, and doesn’t seem to take the objects of his affection’s input. But he also, at the very least, sees himself as honorable, a man of culture, and doesn’t seem like the type to cheat in a competition.

Kodachi has no such scruples. She is utterly ruthless, while also sadistically delighting in causing pain to other people. She is, in a way, defined by the fact that she is constantly trying to cheat, to get any victory she can, even while acting as though there’s nothing wrong with what she does, that’s she’s just a beautiful girl doing what she has to. The way they each fall in love with a different form of Ranma, while hating the other, is also a nice touch.

That was all a lot of nice stuff I said, but sadly it’s alls I gots for ya. Going back to the whole ‘crazy’ thing, that’s definitely the thing that, at least growing up, dominates her character. As far as I can recall, the fandom generally thinks of her as the ‘craziest’ of all the main cast, and that’s...not very good? I feel like, at least among some sectors of culture, we’re trying to be more aware of other people and trying to take in feedback, and ableism feels like one of the last big areas where a lot of people, even those who are otherwise far left, struggle to get past their prejudices. I’m including myself in there, I screw up all the time. But yeah, I think we need to kind of think a lot more about the ‘crazy’ tropes in media, especially the ones that associate with violence and evil characters. So far at least, I don’t really have a lot to dig into with Kodachi especially, but it’s something I’ll have in mind going forward.

The other area I feel like I have to rain on this Spotlight a little is just what Kodachi brings to the dynamic of the show. Which is mostly...not a lot. Of all the main characters who are a part of the primary love dodecahedron, she is the one who feels like could generally just not exist without impacting anything. She basically just does what Kuno does, but in the opposite direction. Ranma is going to end up with a lot of suitors, and someone else generally fills the role of ‘violent and amoral’ much better than Kodachi, plus she’ll be appearing pretty soon from where we are now. At least as of now, Kodachi is a character I find doesn’t hurt the show at all, but also doesn’t particularly make it better.

If it wasn’t clear from all the gushing before, I really liked this episode. But how much? Where does it fall among the ranks of all the episodes I’ve seen thus far? After some careful consideration, I think I’m actually going to put this at the number two spot. It really was that good, I have very little bad to say. The only reason it didn’t take the top spot is that I just love episode 7 too much. That makes the current standings:

Episode 7: Enter Ryoga, the Eternal ‘Lost Boy’

Episode 12: A Woman's Love is War! The Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!

Episode 9: True Confessions! A Girl's Hair is Her Life!

Episode 2: School is No Place for Horsing Around

Episode 6: Akane's Lost Love... These Things Happen, You Know

Episode 8: School is a Battlefield! Ranma vs. Ryoga

Episode 11: Ranma Meets Love Head-On! Enter the Delinquent Juvenile Gymnast!

Episode 4: Ranma and...Ranma? If It’s Not One Thing, It’s Another

Episode 5: Love Me to the Bone! The Compound Fracture of Akane's Heart

Episode 1: Here’s Ranma

Episode 3: A Sudden Storm of Love

Episode 10: P-P-P-Chan! He's Good For Nothin'

This has been a really fun one! Next time, we’ll be covering lucky episode number 13, “A Tear in a Girl-Delinquent's Eye? The End of the Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnastics Challenge!”, which will also be the ending to this little arc. I’m excited to join you then, and see if that episode fulfilled the promise in this episode’s set-up! See you all then!

[penzyroamin]

Hi I know it’s been a bit but I’m the confused bi anon. I really really appreciated your response and it wasn’t too long. You made me feel a lot better. I was wondering if you could maybe suggest some books, tv, movies with bi female characters. Thanks soo much for the entire last response . You are absolutely incredible and so sweet. This means more to me than you could ever know��️

of course!! i’m glad that my first response helped <3

disclaimer of course: i’m not bi! so i’m not an Authoritative Source on bi rep and what people want to see more of. i do actively seek out stuff about lgbtq+ characters, specifically girls and women, so i have some recs! however, i’ll also be adding some things that some bi folks i know have recommended because while lesbians and bi women have a lot in common, these are at the end of the day representing them, not me :)

extra-super favorites will be bolded! i’m putting this under a read more because... i read a lot of books. and recommended a lot of them.

books:

her royal highness by rachel hawkins-- this book is a pretty easy read-- don’t expect any massive revelations about life from it, and you’ll have a good time!!! essentially, a bi texan girl named millie, after having her heart broken by her friend-turned-sort-of-gf, goes to boarding school in scotland and ends up rooming with the princess, flora. if this sounds outrageous and sappy, that’s because it is! and i love it! sexuality isn’t a BIG part of this book, but it’s discussed, and it’s just a generally fun enemies-to-lovers story about a bi aspiring geologist and a no-fucks-to-give lesbian princess and them falling in love!

fried green tomatoes at the whistle stop cafe by fannie flagg-- hello this is actually my favorite book! unlike hrh it is... a LOT to read. it essentially follows 2 stories-- one about a housewife named evelyn and her friendship with an old woman named ninny threadgoode who she meets at the old folks home her mother-in-law stays at, and the other about the stories ninny tells her about her sister-in-law idgie and her partner, ruth. the book was published in 1987, and ruth and idgie’s story is set during the great depression, so they aren’t actively labeled as lesbian or bi, but it’s made obvious enough through coding and the fact that ruth has relationships with men prior to idgie while idgie spends her entire childhood pining after ruth. both storylines are fantastic-- they have a lot to say about the lives of southern women in the 30s and 80s, and about race relations at both periods. i’ll warn you that there are depictions of extreme racism and of abuse, but it handles both delicately. it’s a critical piece of southern literature, and a landmark for lgbtq+ storytelling. as a bonus, my copy has a bunch of great recipes in the back, so if you read it you might chance upon an edition with those in it. if you like poignant period pieces about wlw relationships, women losing their damn minds, and abusive men getting what they deserve, this is the book for you! you will sob. this is a fair warning.

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson-- i haven’t personally read this one, but i’ve heard great things about it from everyone i know who has! an anxious black bi girl in indiana has to win prom queen at her mostly-white school in order to get enough scholarship money to go to the college of her dreams, but ends up falling for mack, another girl running for queen. 

@landlessbud wanted me to shout out red, white, and royal blue by casey mcquinston-- you’ve almost definitely heard about it before (first son and prince of wales, enemies-to-lovers with a side dish of political drama), and it is primarily about a mlm romance, but nora is a fabulously fun bi girl side character and there’s a lot of great stuff about figuring out your sexuality in it.

leah on the offbeat by becky albertalli-- i’ve read a lot of complex thoughts on this book, and mine are... i like it! it’s flawed, sure, and i wish it had handled a few things a little better, but you know what? it’s cute as fuck! leah is a fat bi drummer, and she’s super cool! abby is a great love interest, and she goes through a whole bi realization throughout the book. all in all, it’s just a fun wlw high school romcom with a couple solid dramatic beats and a lot of goofball shenanigans. also, if you were an american girl kid??? one scene in this book will make the entire experience worth it for you.

harley quinn: breaking glass by mariko tamaki and steve pugh-- hey, we’re in graphic novel territory now! this book is RAD. a really neat look at gentrification, community solidarity, giving people what they deserve, and fantastic lgbtq+ found families. teenage harleen quinzel is taken in by a group of drag queens, and is caught between two sort-of love interests-- mysterious vigilante the joker and classmate and community activist ivy-- and the different forms of protest and resistance they represent. the art here is STUNNING, and it’s a great read!

laura dean keeps breaking up with me, by the great mariko tamaki with art by rosemary valero-o’connell-- the vast majority of the characters are lgbt, with a lesbian main character, and the supporting cast including a bi nonbinary character, a bi girl character, and two mlm characters! this is mostly a piece about modern lgbtq+ teenagers and the way toxic relationships take over our lives. it’s one of the most cathartic things i’ve read in a LONG time, and especially if you’re at a point where your sexuality feels kind of vague, this is a great read because it embraces that vagueness by not needing to clearly label the characters and celebrates whatever point of clarity the characters are at. probably some of the most gorgeous art i’ve ever seen in a book, with a beautiful black-white-and-pink color scheme and a really neat approach to visual storytelling.

movies:

i don’t watch many movies, because i get bored really quickly hskdhskhds. but the movies i DO watch are usually gay!

wowie zowie its fried green tomatoes again!-- fannie flagg came back to adapt this into a film and HOT DAMN is it just as good. the plot is primarily the same, with some stuff obviously cut or trimmed to make it a two hour movie instead of a 450 page books fhsjdhsjhds. mary-louise parker plays ruth!!! it got a GLAAD award and an oscar nomination, and god it’s good. there are a couple scenes in here that i think are going to be in my mind until the day i die. the level of pure butch energy that idgie radiates in this film is a one-hit k.o. and it KILLS me.

birds of prey-- listen. this is not a profound movie. harley’s bisexuality isn’t emphasized, and romance is basically nonexistent in this movie. there is some... quite graphic violence. that said, this movie is so fucking fun. it’s mostly just a bunch of women fucking up everyone who crosses them while margot robbie gives a gleeful performance that you can just TELL she enjoyed the fuck out of. the last 20-30 minutes of this movie are the absolute best part, with a long sequence that kind of reinvented what an action/superhero movie could be for me. again, bisexuality isn’t a massive part of this-- it’s mentioned, and then harley just continues on in her gloriously campy outfits and breaks peoples’ knees. again, i CANNOT overemphasize just how fucking good the last 20-30 minutes are. this movie knows what it is and it embraces it. also, women beating people up in costumes that don’t horrifyingly objectify them is always a plus!

imagine me & you-- i’d be remiss if i didn’t mention this one, considering it’s probably one of the most iconic wlw romcoms. a woman named rachel, while at her own wedding, meets a florist named luce, and they fall in love. it’s a very sweet look at questioning your sexuality when you were already secure in it, and rachel’s husband wins “most genuinely understanding guy in a wlw movie” award. it has a lovely happy ending, and articles have been written about the importance of rachel being a bi character who a) gets a happy ending and b) isn’t shamed for figuring out her sexuality later on or slutshamed. this is just... a sweet movie. it’s the romcom a lot of us need in our lives. also, a LOT of floral imagery.

tv shows:

ok, i’ve got a confession. i reaaaaaaally don’t watch much tv. seriously, the only shows i’ve watched a substantial amount of recently have been parks and rec, schitt’s creek, the good place, and gilmore girls. i have a really REALLY short attention span.

that said, eleanor from the good place is bisexual!! the good place is a really wild ride, it’s half afterlife comedy half philosophical musing, and it will almost certainly make you gasp, laugh, think, and also probably cry. also, eleanor is just buckets of fun and she, like many of us, is often blown away by tahani (jameela jamil) and her beauty.

ummm shows i haven’t watched entirely or at all but that have bi women in them and seem pretty good: black lightning, sex education, jane the virgin, arrow. 

if you haven’t already watched it, do not believe what people are going to tell you about watching glee. it will drag you into a pit of despair and white men rapping, and it’s quite biphobic to top it all off.

i hope you enjoy at least some of these!! i tried to include some of my own favs and some that were pointed out to me, so i hope that at least a couple connect with you and make you feel better. again, the bolded ones are my 100% favorites. i love you and i’m glad you reached out again!!! feel free to send some more asks later on <3

[serenagaywaterford]

Hello, I really don’t know who to talk to but I’m realizing I’m a lesbian after identifying as bisexual since 2016, I came out to my parents and they’re both supportive and happy for me. I’m a highschooler and it’s awkward being gay and no one knowing as ppl tease me to date my guy friends. Any tips or advice in general on being a lesbian? It’s still so weird to talk about but I wanna grow to be very open with my sexuality

Been there. (I used to insist I was straight (for YEAAAAARS I was with the same guy), then bisexual cos I thought I had to be since I was “straight” and not particularly conflicted about it for so long. So it’s a process and a journey getting here no matter what, and everyone takes different routes.) And I’ll be honest, you’re way ahead of the game already. Good for you and you should be proud and happy with yourself for being so self-aware and in touch with yourself. That takes a lot of insight and courage.

I think generally… people will say a lot of things but until you are comfortable being around your friends and family as yourself, it’s never going to be easy. It’s not easy when you’re out either but at least you’re not stuck hiding who you are and adding that level of tension to every interaction. To be honest, I was never particularly comfortable with myself. Not even when I got married to another woman. (My issues with the institution of marriage aside…) But in my job I basically am forced to come out daily to complete strangers, constantly, with the words “my wife”. It gets way, way easier and I’m lucky enough to be in a place and a position that affords me that freedom. Not everyone is.

Are the people teasing you your friends? I mean, high school fucking sucks. I don’t even care how people want to romanticise it after the fact, or in media, or whatever. Even the best experiences are littered with a bunch of drama. We’re all idiots in high school and we all treat our friends like shit half the time, even our best friends. I didn’t have a bad time in high school. In fact, I’d say it was pretty good overall. (I wouldn’t do it again, mind you.) But still, the shit you put up with from friends is just excessive, and also the shit you give friends–or at least the shit I gave my friends lol. It’s just so… ugh.

So, I mean, without knowing much more about the situation, I would confide in my good friends. Unless, for some reason that endangers you in some way. And yes, unlike some hardcore people, I do think social ostracization in high school is damaging. I don’t buy into the whole “Well, if they don’t like it fuck them, all you need is you!” cos that’s bullshit. You DO need friends in high school, even if they’re not perfect friends, even if you won’t stay friends with them in a few years. Having social support is incredibly important and to be alienated completely is lonely and leaves you vulnerable, and you miss out on stuff too. I mean, if your friends are complete total assholes, then by all means, drop them cos that won’t help and you may be better off alone, but if they’re only sort of annoying, well… That’s life, lol. Until you get out of the fishbowl of high school and people being to calm the fuck down about every tiny drama, there aren’t a lot of options. I found my best friends annoying af sometimes, and some of them had views on certain subjects that fucking pissed me off. But hey, at the end of the day, we still got along and had a bond, and worst came to worst almost all of them would be there for me, and me for them, despite some differences.

Are those the type of friends you have? Or do you think your friends would turn on you if you confided in them?

It’s so lonely to hold onto a secret like that, and constantly put up with what I’m sure they think is harmless teasing about boys. It can hurt you, and god, it’s fucking irritating on top of everything else. And, I hate to say this, but that sort of thing NEVER ENDS. It gets less and less, but I’m literally married to a woman for like 2 years now and a dude friend of ours just last week asked us if maybe we both just hadn’t found the right men yet. And on the subject of sex, he said, “Well, how do you know if you haven’t tried it?” to my wife. Interestingly, she is not a gold star and knows very well what hetsex is like (she fucking HATES it on every imaginable level), but she’s just never volunteered that information for public consumption. Still, as you can see, you’ll always have stupid imbecile friends who say stupid ass comphet shit to your face, even when you are blatantly a lesbian. Unfortunately, it one of those things you just have to… learn to deal with. I hate that we must.

I know that’s not exactly helpful or hopeful, but it’s reality. So these dumb friends of yours, maybe they’re not doing it to be hurtful or annoying, they just genuinely think you like boys. There’s only really one solution to get them to stop (and even that isn’t going to be a guarantee) and that’s to come out to them–only if you can. Tell them how it makes you feel. Share with them what you’ve said to me. It’s hard enough to exist as a lesbian right now, let alone having to hide and be shamed for it. Friends should get that. But all of them may not… 

I had one friend who was super open with her “sexuality” (she’s an attention whore, lbr.) who, when I told her finally that I think I wanted a girlfriend, she was super supportive. Then when the group of them were going to a gay club, I said I’ll tag along and she told me no. And her exact words: “You look too straight. Nobody will talk to you and I don’t want people to think I’m straight too.” (SHE IS STRAIGHT, just for the record. But she likes to steal girls’ boyfriends by doing threesomes, pretending to be into girls, threesomes, and poly, and then manipulating the boys into dumping their gfs. She also likes to breakup girlfriends just to prove she can. She has NEVER been in a relationship with a woman, only breaks lesbian couples up and then fucks off. She tried it with me and my girlfriend once. Nice friend. Just so we all know what she’s like.)

Note: These were my high school friends, and I was in my mid-20s at this point. We’d been friends for over a decade. And they still said shit like that. (And I mean, in some way, I get it cos when we’d go out to non-gay spots I’d get picked up by men CONSTANTLY, and women never looked at me that way. It was super aggravating.)

Which, it turns out, was her way of saying “You’re competition and I don’t want you around.” (and she’s obsessed with stereotypes), cos when I started going to gay clubs and parties with other friends who weren’t douchebags about it, NOBODY judged me like that. And I remember meeting my wife for the first time and telling her that story and she was just like “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOUR FRIENDS?! You do look super straight but I like you and I’m super gay”. And then she took me to a lesbian bar, and I didn’t change a thing about myself, and was picked up by all sorts of girls, and really hit it off with the cutest butch girl I’ve ever seen to this day. (It didn’t end up going anywhere but still, it was nice to learn that sometimes your friends are just insecure assholes.) It really is dependent on who they are, where you live, etc. etc. And those are only things you know. I can’t comment on what the best course of action is without knowing the nitty gritty.

SO, that’s a long way of saying, people suck. Even your friends sometimes. It’s going to be difficult for a while as you weed those sorts of people out of your life. Being an open lesbian is rocky, especially at first when everything is sorta all over the place. But it does settle down, and you make better friends. And since your parents are supportive that is a HUGE hurdle you don’t have to deal with, which is absolutely AMAZING :) It’s so nice to hear.

But if you’re not able to come out and get support IRL, that’s fine too. My advice is what you’ve already done :) Come online and reach out to older lesbians. They’re the ones with the experience. If it wasn’t for the older lesbians in my life (either online or IRL that I met, including my wife), I’d be so much more insecure. I would probably still be walking around feeling a lot of shame, embarrassment, anxiety, shyness, confusion, etc. 

But there’s something comforting about talking with women who have lived the same struggles, and hear about all the paths they all took and the ways they’ve dealt with specific issues. And they’re generally more calm, more realistic, and more compassionate than other baby dykes who aren’t in a privileged, secure position yet. Not that there is anything wrong with bonding with others of the same age. That is also INCREDIBLY important because those experiences will directly reflect your own, and there’s built-in support with peers. The things older lesbians have been through may not translate as well for you. A lot of us didn’t have the same pressures of social media, etc. But we also didn’t have the same online resources available either. So, it’s an interesting balance. I will say my friendship with my best friends from university (one is a lesbian too, one is straight as an arrow but a huge ally) are just as important cos age is a factor.

You can get insight from older women, but you need peer bonds too.

Online I think is very important nowadays, especially when you’re not able to go to spaces like gay clubs and bars yet. And surround yourself with positive lesbian representation. If that whole soft cottagecore thing does it for you, keep that in your orbit. But also never be ashamed or fearful of the sexual part of your sexuality. Just like it’s natural to romantically love women, it’s natural for lesbians to physically love them too. 

I feel like as toxic overall as tumblr is, there are corners of it that have been incredibly supportive and nurturing even to me. Especially lesbian positivity blogs and women’s arts, etc. Poetry written by lesbians is beautiful and inspiring to me. It’s a whole genre I had no idea existed, and that has given me a great deal of peace because I can finally relate to words. Music, written and performed by gay and bisexual women is the same. It may seem trivial or cheesy, but it’s powerful to hear about women like you in songs. I have to say Mary Lambert, for one example, helped so much. I remember listening to Alix Olson in secret too when I was much younger (maybe that should have been something of a hint to myself, lol.) King Princess and Girl In Red are current faves, Saara Aalto, Shura and Brandi Carlile are a constant faves I always love (not that I even knew that about Brandi’s sexuality til recently cos I apparently live under a fucking rock lol), but I have whole lists now and it’s wonderful to have taht access. 

When you’re all alone, seeking out lesbian musicians and writers can make so much difference in easing that isolation, and confusion, and fear. They speak to you and about us, as a whole. It’s affirming and less lonely.

Same goes for well-written fanfiction. Things that avoid the drama of fandom (cos there’s so much drama even when you have canon f/f pairings), because fandom is really just microcosms of society at large with all the same morons in it. But fanfic was such an escape where I could learn and explore all the things that most everywhere wouldn’t show me. TV shows touched on it (especially back 10 years ago there was like nothing), but fanfic made it real.

Even when you’re feeling secure, I think it still helps to have all the representation we can, and just… you know, revel in it.

Do not watch porn. Don’t. It’s awful and horrible and not at all realistic. A well-written fanfic by actual gay or bi women is way more helpful. Avoid porn at all costs. It will never teach you anything your body doesn’t already know about how to be with a woman (although I’m sure for you this isn’t a pressing concern at the moment). I just know that I made the mistake of it, and also stupid ass magazine/how to articles. Ignore ALL that junk. When you get a girlfriend there’s only ONE thing you need to know how to do, and that is communicate honestly. Everything else falls easily into place.

When you say it’s so weird to talk about it, I feel that. It took me YEARS to even really be able to comfortably say the word, especially in relation to myself. That feeling will pass. It’ll take time and don’t push yourself into any sort of thing you’re not ready for. You’ll feel weird about it probably, and that’s on society, not you. “Lesbian” still does have a stigma attached to it that a lot of people are afraid of or dismissive of. Just… try your best to tune that out. That’s all you can do. You’ll feel comfortable eventually. :) Give it time. You’re already doing well. The fact you can say it to me, even as anon, is beautiful.

You’ll be very open one day if that’s what you want and being a lesbian, and being seen as one, will be second nature. I mean if I think about myself at 20 and now, there’s a very big difference. I used to shy away from so many things, and dress particular ways to avoid things, now I’m definitely not giving nearly as many fucks. Also, I’ll say here that I own a bar. It’s not a gay bar, but almost every day we’re open, at least one lesbian couple will come in. And honestly my heart grows so big and warm every single time. (Gay men come in too, ofc.) But there’s something particularly ecstatic in me that I get to see that everyday. (I don’t actually have many gay friends at all.) I love the openness and acceptance and comfort. And I love telling people there that I own it with my wife, and see people’s faces light up. (Some don’t… but, meh, that’s real life too. I’ve had a few shitty fucking people come in too.) There are a lot more lesbians and bi girls around than we probably know. :)

You are not alone. Even if it’s only talking to people online, you’re never alone. 

And never get discouraged that other people seem to having an easier or better time at it. Everyone moves differently, and for some it is easier, some it’s way more difficult but that doesn’t mean you need to pressure yourself, or change. I took my way exceptionally slowly and awkwardly, but ya get there eventually if you surround yourself with genuine people.

It sounds cliche but it does get easier talking about yourself as a lesbian as long as you surround yourself with positive lesbian content/people, and it takes practice (sometimes a lot of it as I’ve learnt), especially dealing with internalized stuff. But you’ll get there. You’re still super young and you have so much ahead. :D

I don’t have specific personal advice about how to handle it all in high school cos I didn’t have to deal with that. Just that there’s a whole world outside high school, even though it may not feel that way sometimes. If you’re in a small town or in a country where it’s not accepted, you’ll have a harder time finding love but it is ALWAYS possible, somehow. Never feel like there is nobody at all. There is. There’s some cute, hot, smart, interesting girl somewhere that will be into you as much as you’re into her. It’s just a matter of time til you find each other. If nothing else, in the mean time, you can form friendships and bond with people online in various ways.

I wish somebody had told me in my teen years that it’s possible to be in love with a woman, that I’m going to kiss girls one day and suddenly everything else is going to make sense and feel right after so long of things not quite fitting together, that it’s just as possible to be fulfilled with a woman as it is with a man. I wish someone would have told me I’d be loved by a woman in ways that nothing else would ever match. That I’d touch women and feel at peace with myself, and being intimate with them will change my whole life, and it’s something I was meant to do and feel. That loving women will help me love myself in a way that I never realised, and that just goes back and forth forever cos if you love yourself, loving other people is so much easier. And not to fight that cos I’m too scared to face the not so nice parts about being out. Bad shit is gonna happen no matter what, but better stuff will make up for it. I wish someone had told me that “lesbian” isn’t a bad word (I grew up with a lot of homophobia everywhere, including my family), and that I will cringe when people call me that initially but that should force myself to use it at first, cos it’ll get way better and feel right the sooner that happens. It is what I am, and I can’t avoid it forever. Own it. Cos as soon as you do, the sooner they can’t use it against you the same way anymore. But nobody said any of that to me.

And never, ever let anybody ever guilt, shame, manipulate, or pressure you into anything you don’t feel is right for you or your body. You’ll feel it deep down what you want and need, and what you don’t want and don’t need. Don’t ignore that. Don’t let anybody talk, guilt, scare, or shame you out of that. It may be hard but you already seem very strong and self-aware.

You’re not thinking wrong, you’re not made wrong. There’s a lot of that around in our society and lesbophobia is very alive still, everywhere. 

You don’t need to find the “right man”. Ever. There’s no perfect high school boyfriend waiting for you if you’re a lesbian. There’s a girlfriend waiting for you. More than one, probably! You’ll love many women throughout your life and they’ll return it back to you. You’ll have friends that love you and support you. And when you say, “I’m a lesbian” it’ll roll off your tongue as easily as your name. Or your wife’s name. :) And you won’t feel any twinges of awkwardness or shame.

I wish you nothing but love and kindness, anon. Xx

And, also, anybody can ask me anything, btw. I generally really fucking suck with advice but my askbox is always here, if anybody needs it.

[wintersqueenmab]

Silly, do all the questions you definitely deleted. All of them.

Well, since you asked so nicely, sure. Under the readmore to save dashboard space.

1. how tall are you?

I’m 5 foot, 9 inches tall, or 175 centimeters for those of you using metric units.

2. what is your body type?

Softer than I’d like, but otherwise pretty standard.

3. what is your favorite part about your body?

I do like the color of my eyes, and I think my hands are pretty nice.

4. is your current hair color your natural hair color?

Partially, yes. However, the top of my head is currently a cotton candy riot, so not that part.

5. are you more outgoing or more shy?

I like to pull off the shy -> outgoing combo for maximum damage.

6. are you more femme or butch?

Being AMAB, I’m pretty sure I’m automatically on the butch side. Not where I’d like to keep it, though.

7. are you tol or smol?

I don’t think 5′9″ is very tall, or very small. The middle it is, then.

8. wine mom or vodka aunt?

Definitely vodka aunt.

9. weird habit?

Does eating popcorn seeds count?

10. favorite meme?

I’m a sucker for bass boosting in the middle of otherwise normal videos.

11. do you sing in the shower?

Ironically, that’s one of the only places I don’t sing.

12. ever used a bow and arrow?

A couple times, but never in any seriousness.

13. are/were you a theatre kid?

Not currently, but I definitely was in high school. Would love to go back.

14. have you ever seen a broadway musical?

Nah, son. Shit’s expensive.

15. do you think musicals are cheesy?

Yes, but in a good way.

16. have you ever been a part of a protest or a march?

Sadly not.

17. favorite Cards Against Humanity Card?

“Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.”

18. last movie you watched?

Spider-Man: Far from Home.

19. behind the camera or in front of it?

In front, definitely. Doing theater has shown me that I love being in the spotlight.

20. favorite tv show?

Toss up between Steven Universe and A:tLA.

21. meaning behind your url

Comes from an old username I had a long time ago. I still use Rydyr for most things online.

22. reason you joined tumblr

Kingdom Hearts fandom, then almost immediately comboed into Homestuck.

23. who’s your closest tumblr friend?

Probably samysticeti.

24. what’s something most people love that you hate?

Lord of the Rings.

25. have you ever taken narcotics?

Nope.

26. have you had sex?

Sure have.

27. have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

Yes, several times.

28. worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told?

I once told my dad that my brother had destroyed my writing journal to get out of writing in it for the day. It worked!

29. describe your passion without mentioning it.

Getting to know systems and the best way to exploit them is pretty dang neat.

30. describe your best friend.

Always there for me, even when I don’t want them there. But they know better.

31. give us one thing about you that no one knows.

Now, what makes you think you’ve earned that?

32. how do you feel right now?

Slightly irritated at the amount of formatting work I had to do for this (a lot), but otherwise good. Go listen to Starlight Brigade if you haven’t heard it, it’s fantastic.

33. what is your biggest fear?

Not becoming who I want to be.

34. what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Glory, by Bastille.

35. what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?

Being more outgoing has, in general, done a ton for me.

36. have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end?

Yeah. That’s life, though.

37. something you fantasize about.

Financial stability, a harem of cuties, being in a harem of cuties. Lots of unattainable goals.

38. last time you cried and why

A while ago, probably over past relationships.

39. what was the last thing that made you laugh?

A dumb play my friend made in a League of Legends match.

40. do you really, truly miss someone right now?

Always.

41. who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?

Honestly, nobody. Without sounding like an edgelord, there’s a lot I don’t want people to know because they’d just worry.

42. the last time you felt broken?

Last night.

43. are you starting to realize anything

Many, many things.

44. are you more dominant or more submissive

Depends on the context, obviously. I try to be assertive in everyday life, but I think I’m more submissive in the bedroom.

45. i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank)

I’ll only date you if you treat me with respect.

46. do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older?

I don’t have any real preference, but I think I’d feel weird if I dated someone significantly younger than myself.

47. describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

That’s not fair; I have too many crushes to single anyone out. One of the pros/cons of being poly.

48. do you have any kinks?

Look, there’s a whole ass list here. Gotta get more specific.

49. first thing you notice in a person?

Probably their voice if I’m actually interacting with them. If I’m seeing them from afar, it’s their hair.

50. how can someone win your heart?

By being sweet to me.

51. been rejected by a crush?

Of course.

52. have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back?

Tons of times.

53. would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?

If they were down, yeah.

54. is trust a big issue for you?

Like, do I have trust issues? Not really. Is it a big thing for me in a relationship? Once we hit a certain point, yeah.

55. did you hang out with the person you like recently?

A couple of them, yeah. Not nearly enough, though.

56. is confidence cute?

It’s fucking sexy.

57. what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

Good for them! They’re living their best life. Fuck jealousy.

58. would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?

Probably not. I love being with funny people.

59. does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

At least one of them does. I try not to make it a big deal.

60. ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?

I’ve embarrassed myself in front of my partners more times than I care to count.

61. do you want to get married

Not unless the government gets really cool about a lot of things really quickly.

62. worst thing you’ve ever done?

Lied to people that trusted me.

63. three things that turn you on.

Confidence, a nice pair of legs, and the ability to take charge.

64. who do you hate?

Nazis.

65. favorite term of endearment?

Stardust.

66. who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening?

Probably some fucking Homestuck characters, I dunno.

67. intimidating girls or kind girls?

Both. Both? Both are great.

68. what do you look for in a possible partner?

We gotta like the same stuff. Also want to get freaky in the bedroom the same way.

69. do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls?

Sixty-nine, eyyyyy. Uh, all of them.

70. are you good at flirting?

Only when I’m unaware I’m doing it.

71. who was the first person you came out to?

My friends in high school.

72. do you have any friends who are wlw?

Yes! Several.

73. is your crush wlw?

Some of them are, yeah.

74. last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

Pretty much literally any attractive person. I think about it a lot.

75. write a short love poem to your crush/self?

I wish you’d know me

As I’ve gotten to know you

See me as I am

76. do you fall in love easily?

Love, no. Infatuation? Almost pathetically so, yeah.

77. is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?

Boy fucking howdy, yeah.

78. are you good at hiding your feelings?

Yep.

79. are you a forgiving person?

Extremely. I just wanna be friends with everyone.

80. what is your “type?”

Kind people that can slam me against a wall and make me thank them for the privilege.

81. fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours?

B O T H

82. tall girls or short girls?

I’d love to be with a girl that just fucking dwarfs me in height.

83. hugs or kisses?

I fucking love hugs. And I’ve had strangers tell me I give great hugs, so I wanna share that with others.

84. twirl her around or get twirled?

Fuck, dude, I’d sure love to get twirled.

85. tummy kisses or thigh kisses?

A tummy kiss that transitions into a big fucking tummy raspberry.

86. hairline kisses or neck kisses?

Neck kisses, hell fucking yeah.

87. play with her hair or stroke her tummy?

Hair, absolutely. Too many people are ticklish.

88. making out or soft kisses?

I don’t understand why I need to choose here. They’re both great in different situations.

89. hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist?

Waist! Easier to pick people up that way.

90. how confident are you in your sexuality?

I’m pretty confident in my ability to be attracted to nearly anyone that’s nice to me.

91. when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach?

Butterflies, with blushing only when I get embarrassed around them.

92. have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them?

Yes and yes.

93. how old were you when you realized you were into girls?

Well, being AMAB, this was pretty early. It took me a lot longer to accept being into guys.

94. most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

There was this one time I just nerded out about MtG for like ten minutes, and she was just sitting nearby. When I saw her, I almost died.

95. do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon?

Rosemary from Homestuck. It’s so good.

96. what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality?

“Are you sure you can’t just pick one person and stick to them?”

97. when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter?

Like six hours ago.

98. what is love to you?

Love is caring about another person more than yourself. It’s wanting the best for them at all times. It’s being happy when they’re happy and being sad when they’re sad. It’s seeing the universe in their smile, and glimpsing eternity in how they make you feel.

99. ask me anything.

Well, this sure is awkward. If you read all this, congrats! You know more about me now than my own parents probably do. Have a great night, everyone.

[uselesslygay]

6-98

okay so  it messed up the numbers when i copy and pasted it but it’s def 6-98 

are you more femme or butch? I wish i could be butch but i’m femme

are you tol or smol? smolish

wine mom or vodka aunt? i’m a soda slut

weird habit? i badly chew on my lips

favorite meme? i love all of them

do you sing in the shower? yes badly

ever used a bow and arrow? yes

are/were you a theatre kid? yes i’m in the musical this year

have you ever seen a broadway musical? not on broadway but yes

do you think musicals are cheesy? i love them, cheese and all

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? no but i want to

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? bees?

last movie you watched? Little Shop of Horrors

behind the camera or in front of it? behind i’m ugly

favorite tv show? the office

meaning behind your url welll i’m gay

reason you joined tumblr to be a dork

who’s your closest tumblr friend? @insomnibun @stump-wentz-hurley-trohman @majesticdragonair probably

what’s something most people love that you hate? movies

have you ever taken narcotics? nope

have you had sex? nope i’m innocent

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? no

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? idk all of them

describe your passion without mentioning it. the thing you shove in your mouth to consume for nutrients

describe your best friend. dorky and gay and pretty. now which one am I describing 

give us one thing about you that no one knows. i’m pretty much an open book so

how do you feel right now? kinda sore and tired but all and all good

what is your biggest fear? tall buildings, elevators, escalators

what’s a song that always makes you happy when I hear it? idk

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? to break up with my ex

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? yes

something you fantasize about. being rich and having a lot of dogs

last time you cried and why last night, i was listening to sad music

what was the last thing that made you laugh? my mom

do you really, truly miss someone right now? yes

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? my sister

the last time you felt broken? hard to pin point a date

are you starting to realize anything? yes

are you more dominant or more submissive? tea but i’m submissive

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) you are a girl

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? around the same age as me

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. prettiest alive, sweet, funny, has a beautiful smile and the best personality, can draw like super good and I love her

do you have any kinks? tea but yes

first thing you notice in a person? eyes or smile

how can you win my heart? be a dog

been rejected by a crush? yes

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? yes

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? yes(???) 

is trust a big issue for you? not really

did you hang out with the person you like recently? no and i’m sad because of it

is confidence cute? hell yeah

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? i would cry probably

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? no

does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i hope so

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? what would life be without it

do you want to get married yes

worst thing you’ve ever done? i think i accidentally kicked a dog once

three things that turn you on. not spilling that tea other than saying : girls

who do you hate? a lot of people

favorite term of endearment? any of them

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? winona ryder

intimidating girls or kind girls? kind

what do you look for in a possible partner? kindness, humor, personality

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? feminine? idk

are you good at flirting? no but somehow it works

who was the first person you came out to? i had my gay awakening on my bus so everyone on the bus

do you have any friends who are wlw? yes

is your crush wlw? yes

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? i had to reconsider after my ex and now i’m gay so

write a short love poem to your crush/self? i’ll just pm it because it will be long

do you fall in love easily? yes 

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? not really

are you good at hiding your feelings? nope

are you a forgiving person? no i’m a petty bitch

what is your “type?” women(?)

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? both

tall girls or short girls? short girls

hugs or kisses?  fuck me up with both

twirl her around or get twirled? twirl her around

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? both

hairline kisses or neck kisses? both

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? play with her hair

making out or soft kisses? yes

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? neck

how confident are you in your sexuality? pretty dang confident but i’m 16 so idk

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? both

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? yes and yes

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? 15

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? falling on my back on roller skates

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? idk

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? that i’m a bad gay

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? all the time

what is love to you? being there for them and treating them right

[faithandfairies]

Comparison between OUAT and The Nanny Expanded

The first thing I noticed on The Nanny that reminded me of OUAT was Mr. Sheffield referring to himself as “the ogre that won’t send his daughter to the ball” when he doesn’t want Maggie dating because he doesn’t want her kissing boys. He then continues to refer to himself as an ogre any time he feels his children, particularly Maggie, won’t like his actions/decisions regarding them.

I’ve never heard this expression used anywhere ever. Until this show. So it immediately caught my attention. 

OUAT is full of ogres that want to hurt people. The other thing OUAT is full of, I believe, is symbolism. “It’s a metaphor” is probably a good description of the show.

(x)

As for ogres, Emma even mentions that she might have dated some. 

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Aside from that, both Emma and Henry are confronted with an ogre that wants to kill them on separate occasions. It’s one of the few times Emma doesn’t know how to fight her opponent let alone defeat it and is saved by Snow shooting an arrow in its eye. 

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Emma facing an ogre. There is something very unsettling about this image

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Henry facing an ogre.

I kind of feel like Emma’s confrontation with the ogre parallels Emma facing the snow monster and being saved from it by Regina after it knocks her out. 

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Regina standing up to the snow monster and killing it as Emma is passed out in the dirt and Marian-Zelena looks on

There are instances where Emma and Regina defeat ogre-like creatures together like the Chernabog and the armored snow monster that the Snow Queen sics on them. But I think in most other instances Rumple is the only one who can defeat the actual ogres. He ends up saving Henry when he is faced with one and he also ends the ogre war by killing all of them simply by killing one.There is also the sympathetic ogre story line, where Belle saves an ogre she thinks means no harm and turns against anyone that wants to kill it.

2.There was Mr. Sheffield and Fran slowly falling in love with each other and Niles, the butler, trying to use kitchen-related analogies to make Fran and Mr. Sheffield see that they were in love or at the very least attracted to each other. One in particular stood out. When he compares Fran to the last apple in the basket that he only realized he wanted when Mr. Sheffield sunk his teeth into it. This after Mr. Sheffield wonders why it bothers him that Fran is dating other people. Analogies like this, using apples, have been made on OUAT as well.

(x)

3.Mr. Sheffield being jealous over Fran dating other people when he doesn’t want to move their relationship along. And when Fran confronts him about it he covers it up by saying he’s concerned for the children. Even Niles calls him on it at a later time. On OUAT any time Emma and Regina realize they’re showing care or concern for each other or are downright jealous in the beginning and it feels out of character to them, they say it’s because they’re worried about Henry or doing it for Henry.

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Regina’s jealousy Exhibit A. She ends up blaming it on worrying about Henry. Oh, and this little moment also happens right after Regina’s been passionately talking about the possibility of her and Emma making magic together and Emma flat out rejects her plan in favor of Hook’s. Can’t forget that.

4.The gay episode, Mommy and Mai, on The Nanny.

(x)

Val and Fran on The Nanny. Oh, look, it’s a blonde and a brunette. What do you know. To be fair I don’t think they had any sexual chemistry. But there were certainly a lot of gay references/ hints regardless. 

-In the gay episode we find out Fran and her best friend, Val, adopted a Cambodian baby girl together when they were in High School. Couples’ fights and actual couples’ therapy ensues when the now teenaged girl comes to visit. Fran ends up distraught over her break-up with Val as a result and when she discusses it with her mother her mother assumes that Fran is talking about Mr. Sheffield. There is a LOT of sexual tension between Emma and Regina on OUAT unlike between Val and Fran. And there is also a lot more pointing to a possible past and potential future romantic relationship between the two. Not to mention that they also share a son, that is biologically Emma’s but was adopted by Regina. They also end up fighting a lot over their son.

-On The Nanny there is also Fran’s fear that Mr. Sheffield may be sleeping with her daughter, who is staying at the mansion for a while at that point. She talks about how it couldn’t be since Mr. Sheffield would practically be the girl’s foster father to her mother role. There are a lot of references on OUAT that point to a father figure abusing the trust a young girl put in him.

(x)

She went to him for help. And yet she’s afraid of him. Throughout the show there’s the development: from genuine fear of what he has in store for her...

(x)

to annoyance at his antics. Notice also how she goes from being the picture of pure innocence when she first meets him to eventually being the picture of pure sexiness, seduction and rage. Which she blames on him. On more than one occasion. And he actually takes credit for. On more than one occasion. He literally calls her his version of Frankenstein’s monster and in the Wish!Realm he coaches her back into dressing and acting like the Evil Queen in the span of a few minutes when he believes she’s lost her touch.

(x)

Regina tied up by Rumple in her vault to keep her from helping Emma/saving Emma from him. To get her to help him to hurt Emma instead.

(x)

This happens right around the time Regina is once again trying to save Emma and failing at it because she doesn’t believe in herself and Emma doesn’t believe in her and she simply doesn’t know how to help Emma. Literally the only one who has told her they don’t believe in her at this point is Emma. 

When teaching Emma magic Regina even tells her that Rumple was a bully. We even see Rumple reduce Regina to tears on the show whilst teaching her.

(x)

Decades have past and yet there still seems to be a hint of fear there. And sometimes hate and anger. Another thing I noticed is that The Evil Queen is known for her drag queen make-up, including more often than not lipstick the color of blood. And yet, here, one of the few intimate moments that she looks afraid of Rumple as the Queen, where she’s once again asking him for help, her lipstick is the lightest shade of pink I’ve ever seen on her. It’s almost like a mirror of their first meeting. And I’m not even going to talk about that choker.

-Grandma Yetta keeps calling the butler, Niles, “Neal” in the gay episode on The Nanny, because she’s senile and forgets names. On OUAT Neal is actually the name of the father of Emma and Regina’s son. 

(x)

Neal dying in Emma’s arms as Rumple/Mr. Gold hovers over them. Not so surprisingly we don’t actually know Rumple’s curse first name. Not even Belle, his wife, used it. Ever. She tended to call him by his fairy tale name, Rumple.

Makes me think of how Fran called Maxwell Sheffield Mr. Sheffield for most of the show because it was inappropriate to call him by his first name given their original relationship. When she pretends to be married to him in front of family yet still calls him Mr. Sheffield while doing so even her family calls her on it, commenting “You call your husband Mr. Sheffield?” In fact, the switch to first name basis is a big deal on The Nanny. And at first both Fran and Mr. Sheffield get a perverse sort of satisfaction from it. As if they’re breaking the rules. And even after they’re married they still end up referring to each other as Ms. Fine and Mr. Sheffield when they forget themselves.

But to continue, Neal is also the name of Snow’s baby boy.

(x)

Baby Neal

This also makes me think of how Fran once described Niles as her and Mr. Sheffield’s love child before they ever got together in earnest. The love child that gets to watch his parents fall in love. Niles also once says how it’s always the butler who suffers, I think after one of Fran and Mr. Sheffield’s fights. He’s also the one who suffers most obviously/instantaneously-becomes emotional or excited depending-any time Fran and Mr. Sheffield “split up” or reach a new milestone in their relationship. The first time Fran plans to leave because she’s been proposed to by Danny, her ex-boyfriend, Niles actually cries a good amount. He only cheers up when she makes plans with him to see him often. He also cries happy tears when he finds out that Fran thinks she’s pregnant. And Fran only figures it out when he cries over the tea he’s pouring her and Val, I believe.

Ha, I just realized that the guy Mr. Sheffield almost lost Fran to in earnest was called Danny. Which makes me think of Regina’s Daniel. And the actor who plays Niles is actually called Daniel. Coincidences.

5. Actually, Neal isn’t the only name that comes back on OUAT as that of an important/ recurring character. Mr. Sheffield’s eldest daughter on The Nanny is Maggie, which is short for Margaret. 

(x)

Margaret, The Nanny

I also just remembered that when we meet Maggie she’s this shy, soft spoken, conservative 14-year old girl that pretty much looks like an orphan in her too big tan clothing, with skirts practically reaching to her ankles. It’s with Fran’s influence in her life that her style and self esteem actually improve. They even mention Grace, her little sister’s, improved sense of style due to Fran on the show.

(x)

Mary Margaret, OUAT

Snow’s curse name on OUAT is Mary Margaret.  

(x)

Fran, The Nanny

And considering that The Nanny is actually based off of The Sound of Music, that would make Fran Maria. Which if you think that OUAT used this show as inspiration that would mean somehow Mary Margaret is a combination of Fran and Maggie. When Fran once loses her memory her situation in the family I think it makes her ask whether she once sang on hills sporting a butch haircut.  There’s also Grace. Grace or Gracie is Mr. Sheffield’s youngest daughter. On OUAT Grace is the daughter of Jefferson, The Mad Hatter. A character that appears early on and one of the few child characters to actually recur.

(x)

Grace and her father on OUAT

(x)

Grace on The Nanny

6. Niles, otherwise known as Neal on The Nanny if you ask Yetta, is very invested in Fran and Mr. Sheffield’s future as a couple on The Nanny. He does everything in his power to help them get together romantically, from coaxing Mr. Sheffield into giving Fran her job as The Nanny back any time he fires her to straight up frustratedly clutching Mr. Sheffield’s coat and yelling in his face to get him to act on his feelings for Fran. He does it because he loves them and wants to see them happy but also because Fran becoming Mrs. Sheffield would only work in his favor. No one is as happy as he is when he finds out Fran thinks she’s pregnant. On OUAT Mr. Gold/Rumpelstiltskin, Neal’s father, is also very invested in Snow and Charming’s future (as a couple). Also because that is something that will work in his favor. He’ll get a child out of it, which is what he wants.

7.EDIT

I can’t believe I forgot about this, especially since I made a separate post about it, but The Nanny did an animated Christmas episode with a 28 year curse. Which had C.C., a weather deity, get grumpy for a few days every 28 years and cause a blizzard that kept Santa from delivering his presents. It was actually a metaphor for a menstrual cycle. 

C.C.’s mood also ended up being resolved by her finding true love in the Rain Man. 

The episode also involved Fran briefly taking on the role of a kind of Snow White surrounded by the seven elves, of which Niles was one. And featured an ice palace.

(x)

[myheartsoarsforyou]

The gay asks, as many as you feel like doing. Starting at 1 stop when you feel like it

Oh, you don’t know what you’ve signed up for. I’ll put it under a readmore, lol. 

Just to note: Probably going to do most, if not all of them, so there you go. :)

how tall are you? 5′6″

what is your body type? Chubby, but curves are still there.

what is your favorite part about your body? Ehh, I don’t really like any part. My eyes, I guess?

is your current hair color your natural hair color? For now, but as soon as I’m able to get to my salon I’m dyeing it

are you more outgoing or more shy? Depends on the setting but for the most part definitely shy

are you more femme or butch? Femme I guess? I dunno, I’d argue probably somewhere in-between but leaning towards femme. 

are you tol or smol? Height wise? I guess kinda tol? Iunno I don’t think I’m either but hey! lol

wine mom or vodka aunt? Vodka aunt, but I don’t drink much anymore.

weird habit? Uhh idk?

favorite meme? Don’t talk me i angy

do you sing in the shower? Oh yes, especially if I have music going lol

ever used a bow and arrow? Not yet!

are/were you a theatre kid? Nope, 

have you ever seen a broadway musical? Not in person? 

do you think musicals are cheesy? Probably but that’s half the fun.

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? I wish, especially right now, but I would probably break down around that many people. I support as much as I can.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? I don’t think I have a favorite?

last movie you watched? Silent Hill: Revelations

behind the camera or in front of it? Behind, 100%. I hate having my picture taken. i’ll make exceptions, but. 

favorite tv show? Mmmh... it used to be Supernatural but I don’t really watch TV. Maybe ATLA? I’m rewatching/finishing that sporadically.

meaning behind your url He makes my heart soar higher than ever.

reason you joined tumblr A looong time ago, because of SPN. 

who’s your closest tumblr friend? I don’t really talk to people on tumblr ?? I’m just kinda... here

what’s something most people love that you hate? Iunno o.o

have you ever taken narcotics? Technically yes I have

have you had sex? Mhmm

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Err, yeah. I got caught with a ‘friend’ of mine when I was younger. Woops.

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? I don’t remember any? I don’t know. 

describe your passion without mentioning it. Escape, building something completely new with friends, making friends within a universe you help shape, seeing and doing more fantastiscal things than could be done in real life. 

describe your best friend. I have two people I consider best friends. An artist, an activist, passionate about her work, heartfelt and exciteable. Another artist, unsure of his work but talented none the less, overly critical of himself. 

give us one thing about you that no one knows. I don’t think there’s much if anything that my bf doesn’t know about me?

how do you feel right now? my tummy hurts

what is your biggest fear? Losing him. 

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? Love Me - NU’EST

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far? Definitely sticking it out and staying close to my bf before we got together and persuing things when the opportunity arose. 

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? Very often in my life rn tbh

something you fantasize about. Living with my love in a 3 bedroom house with our little domestic zoo and being happy. 

last time you cried and why Saturday, multiple times. It was a rough day and was thinking a lot about my cousin (long story short he’s no longer around)

what was the last thing that made you laugh? Probably my boyfriend. 

do you really, truly miss someone right now? I miss my bf because I haven’t seen him irl in two years and it kills me. 

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Bf

the last time you felt broken? Saturday again because of the aforementioned. 

are you starting to realize anything? That I will put up with a lot if I feel like I have to to see him. 

are you more dominant or more submissive? Definitely submissive, but I have my moments. 

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) Mmm, I don’t really have strict qualifications. Treat me well, tell me if something’s up, and just love me. But I have that right now, so I guess the strict qualification is if he agrees & We’re good to be a polycule. 

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I used to say strictly older, but honestly AS LONG AS it’s legal and moral either or. Bf’s two years younger than me and more mature than anyone older than me that I’ve been with so lol. 

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail. My height, great eyes, gorgeous to me, dyed-red hair, avid gamer, tattoo enthusiast. He’s passionate regardless of how he sees it, and he’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I love every part of him and I will even if things change. 

do you have any kinks? Many. Lol. 

first thing you notice in a person? Depends, sometimes eyes, sometimes voice, sometimes approachability lol.

how can someone win your heart? You’d have to ask my bf

been rejected by a crush? Yep! 

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? Oh yes lol

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? Actual texts? No. But if discord messages count - yes. lol

is trust a big issue for you? Yes

did you hang out with the person you like recently? Yes

is confidence cute? It can be, but there’s a fine line between it and arrogance. 

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? It depends entirely on the situation. Did we agree on a romantic/sexual third? Sure. If not I’d probably be pretty upset. 

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? Probably not. 

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do? I should DEFINITELY hope so lmao

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? I’ve been in high school. 

do you want to get married I do, though I never thought I’d be able to say that

worst thing you’ve ever done? Probably cheating on someone I cared about with someone I should’ve never involved myself with. 

three things that turn you on. Biting, neck kisses, making out. 

who do you hate? Eh, my boss rn.

favorite term of endearment? My bf calls me kitten c: 

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? Probably Willow from Buffy the Vampire Slayer 

intimidating girls or kind girls? Why not both?

what do you look for in a possible partner? If we’d work well together lol, it all depends. 

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? Err, a little of all? I tend to go for masc in general, but I am definitely interested in all of the above. 

are you good at flirting? Not...really lol

who was the first person you came out to? My bestie

do you have any friends who are wlw? Yep!

is your crush wlw? See, this is complicated. Technically at the moment no, but there has been gender questioning in the past and it’s possible that at some point in the future yes. 

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality? That’s been a long time ago lmao, I’ve been pretty confident I am Super Queer for a long while. 

write a short love poem to your crush/self? I am not good at these and very tired so I’m gonna pass on this one

do you fall in love easily? I used to, but not anymore. Mainly cause I’m still very deeply in love with the person I think is my soul mate. 

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? Yerp.

are you good at hiding your feelings? Not really no

are you a forgiving person? I can be. Bf thinks I am too forgiving. 

what is your “type?” Uhh, it depends? And fluctuates? lol

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? Both.

tall girls or short girls? Both, though prob tall more often than not.

hugs or kisses? Kisses

twirl her around or get twirled? Twiiiirl. 

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? Thigh

hairline kisses or neck kisses? Neck

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? I have Two Hands

making out or soft kisses? Both, but I Really Like making out

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? Neck, but also both. 

how confident are you in your sexuality? 100%

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? Yes, a lot lol

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? I would not be with my bf if this wasn’t the case. 

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? I think I was 13? 

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl? Uhhh... I don’t really remember lol

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? Yes! But it ended not great so :(

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? I really hate when people say I should identify in a certain way because it’s a “slur” the whole point of reclaiming things is to take the ammunition out of it. And a lot of words have been slurs in the past that seem to be fully acceptable. 

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? I don’t really remember. 

what is love to you? It can change but at its heart it makes you feel warm and soft, and makes you feel a little bit better about the bad things in life. 

[weallneedsomethingtobelievein]

1-98 :)

how tall are you? i’m 5′3

what is your body type? my body type? um I guess you’d say i’m overweight. but working on it :)

what is your favorite part about your body? I’d probably go with my hair and my lips. but I can honestly say I love my whole body.

is your current hair color your natural hair color? I think it is mostly. I have some blonde in it that hasn't grown out yet though.

are you more outgoing or more shy? more shy 100%

are you more femme or butch? im somewhere in the middle, but id say I lean towards the more femme side.

are you tol or smol? smol, as @cunnningstunt likes to point out all the time.

wine mom or vodka aunt? prob the wine mom.

weird habit? 

favorite meme?

do you sing in the shower? from time to time.

ever used a bow and arrow? I haven’t.

are/were you a theatre kid? nope.

have you ever seen a broadway musical? once. I saw the beauty and the beast when I was a kid.

do you think musicals are cheesy? nope. Courtney would kill me if I said yes anyways.

have you ever been a part of a protest or a march? nope.

favorite Cards Against Humanity Card? the first one that comes to mind is “Daniel Radcliffe’s delicious asshole.”

last movie you watched? Maleficent: Mistress of Evil

behind the camera or in front of it? im always behind the camera. and awkward in front of it. but I want pictures taken of me so I don't know where that leaves me lol.

favorite tv show? this is a hard one. Im gonna go with Atypical for right now.

meaning behind your url? I made this my URL over 8 years ago and I think I googles quotes or something, found one I liked and called it a day.

reason you joined tumblr? all my friends had one so I wanted one too. fast forward 8 years and im like the only one still here lmao. well, me and maybe 2 others.

who’s your closest tumblr friend? @cunnningstunt surprise! its you.

what’s something most people love that you hate? 

have you ever taken narcotics? never.

have you had sex? yes.

have you ever gotten caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? im pretty sure my mom walked in on me masturbating once lmao but its a vague memory.

worst/funniest lie you’ve ever told? im straight.

describe your passion without mentioning it. 

describe your best friend.

give us one thing about you that no one knows.

how do you feel right now? I feel content. a lil lonely but content. I actually got to do my hair and get dressed in normal clothes so I feel human.

what is your biggest fear? abandonment.

what’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it? soulmate by lizzo.

what is the best decision you’ve made in your life so far?  to stop caring about what others think and doing what makes me happy.

have you ever tried your hardest and then been disappointed in the end? FUCKING YES.

something you fantasize about. living in my own apartment, driving, and being a functioning adult with healthy relationships.

last time you cried and why? I think it was when I teared up watching This Is Us the other day. But really cried? I can’t remember.

what was the last thing that made you laugh? 

do you really, truly miss someone right now? yessss I do.

who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? Courtney and Adam are two that come to mind.

the last time you felt broken? recently, lamenting about how I feel stuck in my job and my life.

are you starting to realize anything? that im a bad bitch and always have been even if I don't feel like it all the time.

are you more dominant or more submissive? ive been submissive in the past but haven't played around with being dominant so who knows.

i’ll only date you if _____. (fill in the blank) this is a long list sooooooo.

do you prefer to date people the same age as you, younger, or older? I tend to go for younger.

describe the person you’re in love with/have a crush on in great detail.

do you have any kinks? I might.

first thing you notice in a person? eyes.

how can someone win your heart? make me laugh and feel important. I also have a tag #waystomyheart on my blog of things Id love.

been rejected by a crush? oh yeah.

have you ever had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back? ^^

would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? I mean, why not.

is trust a big issue for you? sometimes yeah.

did you hang out with the person you like recently?

is confidence cute? very.

what would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?

would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? not at all.

does the person you have feelings for right now know you do?

ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? yes lmao.

do you want to get married? I don't know if I would again. but I think I would.

worst thing you’ve ever done? slept with a friends ex after they broke up and hung out with her the next day. obviously we’re not friends anymore.

three things that turn you on. (prolonged) eye contact, neck kisses and a pretty smile.

who do you hate? 45.

favorite term of endearment? babe.

who was your celebrity/fictional gay awakening? I didn’t have one.

intimidating girls or kind girls? por que no los dos?

what do you look for in a possible partner? 

do you tend to like more masculine, feminine, or androgynous girls? I like more feminine and androgynous girls/nb people.

are you good at flirting? NO LMFAO.

who was the first person you came out to? weirdly enough, my ex husband (then boyfriend). he was really cool about it.

do you have any friends who are wlw? yes.

is your crush wlw?

last person to make you reconsider your sexuality?

write a short love poem to your crush/self? bitch, you’re worth it.

do you fall in love easily? somewhat.

is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about? absolutely.

are you good at hiding your feelings? I mean, no.

are you a forgiving person? I try to be.

what is your “type?” man, hell if I know.

fall asleep in her arms or rub her back until she falls asleep in yours? both.

tall girls or short girls? both.

hugs or kisses? bothhhh.

twirl her around or get twirled? I don't care lol.

tummy kisses or thigh kisses? both are nice for different reasons. but tummy kisses are especially nice because that's something ive always been self conscious about.

hairline kisses or neck kisses? neck.

play with her hair or stroke her tummy? playing with her hair.

making out or soft kisses? how many times do I have to say both.

hugs around the neck or hugs around the waist? I guess once more cant hurt ^

how confident are you in your sexuality? confident that it wont change? pretty sure, but I’ll never say never. but as far as approaching and flirting with women? absolutely not.

when you like someone do you blush or get butterflies in your stomach? yeah both.

have you ever liked a friend as more than a friend? did you tell them? I did. and I didn’t necessarily tell them but they knew because it was obvious.

how old were you when you realized you were into girls? I think I was 17 or 18.

most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a cute girl?

do you have a favorite lesbian ship? is it canon? CAZZIE AND FUCK YES.

what is the most aggravating thing someone has said to you about your sexuality? “that's hot” fuck you my sexuality isn't for your consumption. I’ve also had “homosexuality is a mental illness” directed at me.

when was the last time a girl made your heart flutter? recently.

what is love to you? 

[khedmedarcue-blog]

How to start dating your ex again

When should you date again after a breakup At some point in the future, if the stars are aligned, you might find that getting back together is a good idea.  Learning a new language, instrument or skill can be a great way for you to turn all the negative energy you have in your life into something positive.  Shannon Steen-Larsen earned a bachelor's degree in marriage, family, and human development, with a minor in business management.  When getting divorced, make a list of the reasons why you made that decision to refer to later.  It only made me remember how bad things turned out in the end.

When It’s OK To Talk To An Ex Again But divorce be damned, to hell with the formalities.  Even if you parted ways on good terms, the idea of is, well, weird.  So thanks for making me feel not so crazy there.  This is just a waste of my time.  If you want an easy to follow guide, you should and get started.  Love can be rekindled, but it's different the second time around.

About To Start Dating...Your Ex? That will only lead to anxiety and compromise, which is not the way to build a strong and happy union.  Are you feeling happy at the end of each date? Will you changing be enough to get back your ex? Dating again too soon can get in the way of the space you need to make for yourself.  Like many other men I have dealt with a lot of the issues on this site but decided to change these things so my life became better because why go through life with stupid issues you can change? Basically, you want to be very well prepared for whatever comes out of their mouth.  She wants him to have the balls to joke around with her and bring the interaction back to a more fun, easy-going vibe, rather than being so serious and depressing.  By the way… If possible, pull back from the hug and lean in for a kiss.  Have a plan ready, and discuss that plan with her.

How to Date an Ex When you're ready, you'll know.  First time reading and stopping by via the BlogHer group.  Being able to forgive and be secure in that forgiveness is essential before reaching out to an ex.  Here are you start dating an ex is that he be necessary for some.  Been doing it wrongly and badly all this time after the breakup.  I told him I regret not responding to his texts and he said he understands.

Start dating your ex again We have very similar temperaments, values, interests, and experiences with love and life.  Talk about the mistakes in the past and how you think both of you can overcome the differences all over again.  Yes your girlfriend left you and it sucks.  This naturally re-sparks her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you and gets her to open up to giving the relationship another chance.  Think this is a situation that only famous people get placed in? When and how to arrange a face to face is also in the book.

3 Basic Steps How do you cope when it seems like everyone's very happiness depends on whether or not you permit them to fix you up on Saturday night? He might then react by being extra nice to her in an attempt to get on her good side.  Want to know more about how to start dating again after a hard breakup? But, before you do that, you need to get in the right mind set first.  We were fine, we got un-fine, we found the fine again.  Then study how the relationship has changed.  We are two cliff-jumping sons-of-bitches.

3 Amazing Tips to Start Dating Your Ex Again Even if you know you no longer love them, that doesn't mean hearing about them moving on with someone else is going to be easy.  Like you, the biggest mistake most men and women who still love each other make is get back together right after a break-up.  I want to think this is the beginning of a new relationship or is it as you say the excitement of reconnecting? They mistakenly assume that because the feelings of love are still there and still strong, they can make it work.  Start like when you first met.  I think seeing him again was a bad idea.

I’m Dating My (Ex) Wife After Our Divorce And We Both Could Not Be Happier She can learn from your best decision you.  I know that now, because I was lucky enough to live through, to survive, our marriage — — to come riding back up over the mesa of our years together with one badass sunset sinking down behind me.  These days, we keep two separate homes, two different economies, and we specialize in our three kids.  Most women want the man other women wants.  We found each other in a hail of bullets and arrows and we never once thought twice about jumping off that Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid cliff together.