#and all the extra bits not in the clean filmed version are just so nice

[4giorno]

ummmmm oh yeah i like actually saw him two days ago

[giantkillerjack]

Junji Ito makeup test #1

OR

Figuring out what I need in order to create a music video parody of the song "Gloria" by Laura Branigan, but make it about Tomie. I will be playing the part of a 1980s pop disco singer in the style of Junji Ito. This is high art in progress, people! 😘😂😅

photos of first test:

additional digital notes made using Clip Studio:

main takeaways:

So first off, where the fuck did my stage makeup go??? I had no idea it was missing until today!! I ended up using the makeup from when I used to perform as a mime. (Not a joke, but in a larger, cosmic sense, kind of a joke. 😆 I'll probably do it again sometime. I was adorable as a little soft butch gay mime!)

I now remember why I stopped using the dry cake face paint and switched to wet paint in a tube BUT I CANNOT FIND THE TUBESSS

I'm out of eyeliner in general, but for this, I need some kind of extra thin/fine eyeliner and preferably more than a thimble-full of paint for it.

Maybe I can thin out some matte black face paint and also get like a really nice fine brush? I guess it depends on if the paint is water-soluble.

I should probably check to see if I already have these materials, which would be SO MUCH EASIER IF I COULD FIND MY FUCKING STAGE MAKEUP--

Either way the lines need to be super thin, straight, clean, and parallel to each other. Or I could look at the rougher cross-hatching Ito sometimes uses, but I suspect tidier lines will look best with makeup.

Luckily, I already have an entire burlesque/drag act where I make myself look like a character from a black and white film. Between that and the mime thing, I theoretically have all the white gloves I will ever need lol. I guess I'm going to need white leggings, since the light gray ones won't work for this. Junji Ito is not generally greyscale as much as literally black and white.

Do I own makeup primer? I feel like yes. It definitely sounds like a good idea.

I KNOW FOR A FACT I DIDN'T THROW OUT MY STAGE MAKEUP because I had quality skin-safe glitter in basically every color, and only a FOOL would throw that out!!!!

Gloria is a song from 1983 with disco balls in the music video. Do I want to incorporate more style choices from 1983? Should I buy a wig? Something with shoulder pads maybe?? I guess that means I can keep the thick eyebrows...

Actually upon further research, I do need a sequinned shirt for this. Possibly a sequin leotard with a shiny belt. And leg warmers. OH! And a jacket with just the biggest shoulder pads I can find! Or at least the closest thing I can find to this outfit in one trip to a thrift store

Every 1980s music videos seems to have a person with their hair and clothing flowing in the wind. Now, I could buy a fan. But much funnier and cheaper would be a shot of my hair blowing in the wind that then pans to a friend furiously fanning me with a piece of cardboard or something. (Which means I'd need either two people helping with this shot, or I just have to accept that the shot's going to look kind of blurry by doing the zoom-out in post. Oh gods, I would have to write a proper shot list ahhhhhh--)

Honestly, blurry footage seems fine in some parts. I'm probably going to add some dreamy soft filters anyway to make it look like pre-digital 35mm film from an 80s vid.

I'm going to need some fake blood to splatter at me in the middle of the video. Obviously. So I guess that bit will need to be filmed outside.

The good news is the fact that the nearest easiest filming location for me is a alley full of dumpsters is actually really appropriate for this video. XD

Should I do the distressed eyebrows that a lot of Junji Ito characters have? Note to try that in the next test along with a The Crow-like smile. (My go-to high school Halloween costume. Damn, I have been painting my already pasty-pale face even whiter for a while now! 😅)

Other progress made on this project today:

I recorded myself singing a voice memo along to the rhythm of the karaoke version of Gloria that's on YouTube, but in it, I'm singing in the key that is appropriate to my voice. (A couple half-steps down, I think.)

Next step will be to load that clip onto my computer and adjust the karaoke version to match its pitch. And then like, practice the song with my new personalized backing track.

If i actually finish this, I'll have to re-record the backup vocals to say the right name.

Also the next step will be to see if my interest in this lasts long enough to at least get me to find my frickin' stage makeup.

Additional notes:

The original music video for Holding Out for a Hero is exactly the right energy for this, and now I absolutely need shots of me in front of (badly green-screened) flames, on my knees while singing passionately and directly at the camera and presumably wearing kneepads tbh

Omg what if I included a little "photoshoot" sequence and really fucked with the photos to make them all blurry-body-horror nasty as they flash by real quick?? Get like, a glitch effect in the mix hell yeah 😎😎😎

Edit: Omg i just remembered I have these short-shorts with a reanimator quote on the ass! ("Blasphemy? Before what god?") i know what shorts to wear for this now!!

Oh! Another idea! What if the video starts with me reading Tomie and then closing the book and picking up the nearest microphone-shaped thing and using that to start singing - and every 30 seconds or so of footage, it quietly changes to a different item (one of which is absolute the black wand vibrator that I have XD)

Note: I can easily shorten the song if I only have funny shots planned for like 2/3 of the song length. No need to get too repetitive.

[marshmallowgoop]

Update to this post about where to find textless openings and endings for Detective Conan/Case Closed!

To my knowledge, I now own every music album containing a bonus DVD with clean footage that's been released at this time (save for the Detective Conan edition of the "TRY AGAIN" single, since that content is also included in The Best of Detective Conan 5 and Mai Kuraki x Detective Conan Collaboration Best 21).

So, I can definitively confirm: across the nine DVDs, you can find creditless versions of 27/55 openings and 32/65 endings. You can also find clean movie endings for five of the films—5, 6, 7, 13, and 21—but there's a bit of a catch. For the two Mai Kuraki songs used both as TV and movie endings, "always" (ED 12, Movie 5) and "Togetsukyō ~Kimi Omou~" (ED 55, Movie 21), you don't get a textless version of the show ending. The videos depict the movie ending only.

That creditless OPs and EDs (generally) aren't included on the literal hundreds of volumes that the series is sold in, which each contain only the runtime equivalent of about four episodes and sell for 4,620 yen apiece, still baffles me. But given that one of Discotek Media's highlights for their recent Lupin the 3rd vs. Detective Conan: The Movie Blu-ray was "a clean opening sequence not available anywhere else," I guess providing this content just really isn't DetCo's thing.

And while I admittedly bought close to a dozen albums pretty much solely to get my hands on the textless footage included on a separate disc, you do of course also get a lot of music—a fact illustrated to me in crystal-clear clarity when I finished importing all of the CDs to iTunes:

Granted, these are some bloated stats; they also include The Best of Detective Conan 3, which I purchased to fill out the collection even though it lacks the bonus DVD, and there are 13 duplicates of Mai Kuraki songs if you buy every album pictured above. But subtracting all of that, there are still 77 Detective Conan or Conan-adjacent songs and about 5 hours and 24 minutes of music. If the 1,000+ episode count and 25 movies don't do it enough, these numbers put into perspective how massive this franchise is! Enough OPs and EDs that only a portion of them fill hours.

And make quite the fat stack:

Anyway, I can't say that this was my preferred method of picking up creditless footage—ideally, I would have liked it all included with the dozens upon dozens of Japanese Conan DVDs sitting on my shelves—but I am glad that you can purchase this content somewhere. Plus, you get loads of music, and the packaging can be quite cute, with some nice extras here and there, too.

For example, The Best of Detective Conan 5 comes bundled with three adorable music-themed prints; I think my favorite might have to be this one with Shinichi on guitar and Conan on harmonica (though the one with Ran playing piano and Conan singing is a close second!)

And for the "Countdown" single, there's a pin featuring one of three scenes from the opening sequence. Mine's this Heizuha moment, but I wonder what the other two are?

I also have to say that Mai Kuraki's stuff is wonderfully charming. The disc designs are pretty and pleasing; the "Barairo no Jinsei" and "Kimi to Koi no Mama de Owarenai Itsumo Yume no Mama ja Irarenai" album contains one disc adorned with a rose and another with the moon, fitting the lyrics of both songs:

And while "ZERO kara Hajimete" translates to "Start from ZERO," call me silly—I didn't make the connection to Shinichi's speech in the "Holmes' Revelation" arc until I saw the disc with the English translation and Conan's face next to it:

Also, what a cute back cover:

So, yeah! If you're looking for creditless DetCo OPs and EDs, buying these nine albums is one way to find a nice chunk of them—and get you a ton of music to boot!

[blancamz]

“It’s Over Isn’t It” Reanimation progress

Honestly one of my favourite parts about animating is posting the WIPs online. Here’s the step-by-step of how I went about doing my reanimation for the end section of “It’s Over Isn’t It” from the Steven Universe episode Mr. Greg.

1) Idea and Prep

I was flicking through Steven Universe: Art & Origins. I think at the time I must’ve been between jobs or bored or something, because it came into my head to do a bit of animation based on the pilot style SU. I’ve always been quite fond of the pilot style, especially Pearl’s David Bowie / LaRoux look. The little tux design by Hellen Jo was quite snazzy as well, so I decided to have a go at doing a segment of “It’s Over Isn’t It”, using these designs.

I traced the turnaround from the book in Clip Studio Paint and approximated Jo’s design to it. At first I had the colour turnaround, but did the low-colour turnaround with the heads to give me a better idea of where the lines are and proportions of the body. I also get a clip of “It’s Over Isn’t It” and trim it down to the section I want to do.

This is a long one so strap in.

2) Sketch Pass

I’ll be using gifs that show the first 100-130 frames of the animation, because the full segment is 22 seconds long.

Very very loose animation of what I’m going to be doing with this segment, done in Adobe Animate. I have a video of the real segment in the corner of the stage and audio in the timeline, and closely reference them for layout and acting.

I’ve decided I want to go really nuts with the animation. Lots of angles on her face, smooth movement, secondary animation / follow-through on her various clothing elements. Technically her earring’s supposed to be on the other side but I want to animate that flailing around dangit, so I change it so it faces the camera.

3) Rough Pass

I tidy up the rough I did somewhat. It’s still very rough, but Pearl is better proportioned and the motion is more complete. I get a better idea of how she moves by focusing on drawing keys (the most important drawings) and breakdowns (drawings that help you figure out the motion a little bit, without full animation). I have Pearl, her suit, ruffles and earring on separate layers so I can turn things on and off or lower their opacity as needed.

4) Tiedowns

At some point between the rough and tie-down phase I realized that I’d been animating at 30fps instead of 25fps like I’d meant to, so I had to end up shifting all the roughs I’d been doing. Bad news: having to wrestle with getting the timings I’d so carefully planned out in the rough to still look good. Good news: I have to animate and clean up 5 fewer frames per second, so that’s 110 fewer drawings to worry about. Yussssss. For reference, the above clip has now gone from 132 frames to 107.

During the tiedown phase, I go over the roughs and more carefully try to match the proportions in the turnaround. I keep a flattened version of the first frame of animation to use as reference thoughout to prevent morphing. Sometimes when you’re animating, things will get bigger or small as you re-draw them, so it’s good to have a base drawing to refer back to and make the sizes stay consistent.

At this point I’m way more aware of reasons behind the big design change for Pearl between the pilot and the show. She’s so dang skinny and tall with that extra poof of hair up top that she’s really annoying to frame up. If you want to keep all of her in the frame, there’s going to be tons of empty space.

I also find that my turnaround isn’t enough reference for Pearl’s awkwardly-shaped head. I snap me a bunch of screenshots of pearl’s head from different angles and collate them into a big sheet.

5) Inbetweening

Inbetweening, aka filling out all the gaps in the timeline between the keys and breakdowns. If you’ve done your keys and BD’s well, inbetweening can be a pretty straight-forward.

But I’ve got like a million bits of secondary animation to content with, which means this still takes a significant amount of time. The hair and ruffles have to move a little later than the rest of the body, and some parts of the ruffles have to move at a different rate from the rest. I’m trying to animate like there’s wind since Pearl’s on top of a tall building. I keep animating until it feels good enough.

This is what my timeline and stage look like in Animate by this point. The animation is mostly on 2s, with some 1s, 3s and 4s thrown in when needed.

6) Cleanup and Colour

I did the cleanup in Toon Boom Harmony. As a program, I like it was more than Animate, even though it isn’t without it’s flaws. But it’s also really dang expensive. Fortunately, by this point I’d been working on the upcoming Deadendia series for Netflix. What with the pandemic, we were working from home and the studio gave me a license for Toon Boom. So I exported my frames from Animate, put ‘em in TB and started cleaning up.

I’ve found that cleanup is something that’s often offloaded to new or less experienced artists at studios because blah it’s just tracing the rough animation. But you’ve got good cleanup and bad cleanup, and a good cleanup artist will compensate for flaws in volume and have a good, clear and natural line.

I’m not terribly fond of doing cleanup myself. I feel I tend to end up rushing, which leads to sloppy work. I tried really hard to keep up a standard here.

7) Comping

a.k.a. Compositing, the final layering of the various elements before exporting a film. Another stage I don’t quite care for because of its nuances. Also drawing backgrounds.

I admit that I’m not very good at drawing backgrounds or environments. I tried to do the one for the second shot of this animation, since it was acutally really important. In shots 1 and 3, you don’t really see the ground or even the railing that Pearl is leaning on, but 2 is a wide shot. My first attempts at it were unfortunate. Fortunately my husband @joe-sparrow is both good at backgrounds and good at imitating the style and colour palette of the show. He volunteered to do the BGs and I accepted. See mine vs. his:

So yeah, get me some nice backgrounds, put the animation on top, then fiddle with a couple of elements in the comp to give things a little bit more depth. During this stage, errors that had happened during the animation progress that I hoped would just go away became annoyingly obvious, so there was a fair bit of going back to fix them.

So that’s how I done made this animation. I started April 2018 and posted in on January 1st 2021, so that’s over 1.5 years it took me to do these 22 seconds of animation. However, I wasn’t working on it continuously through that time. Sometimes I’d be working on it every day, other times I’d not touch it for weeks or months at a time. It really depended on how busy or whatever I was at the time. I think if I’d been working on it non-stop, it still would’ve taken me at least like 2-3 months to finish it.

If you made it to the end of this post, I hope you found all this information interesting.

Happy drawing.

It’s over, isn’t it.

[ilikethequiet]

Hot & Spicy Takes: Multiverse of Madness

I saw it when it premiered on Thursday and I feel kind of mixed about it really? Was it the best movie? No, but it was fine; I feel like it could have used maybe a half an hour more to fit some extra story stuff in. Below are my thoughts, It’ll get pretty spoiler heavy so maybe avoid if you haven’t seen it yet.

TikTok theorists have been debating this movie for months, who is going to be in it, how this movie will be the most awesome ever because of it’s cameos and while some were right, some were very wrong, which I’m actually glad about because I did not want Tom Cruise as Superior Iron Man.

America Chavez: I loved her, it’s kind of funny to see how much Doctor Strange warmed up to her as opposed to his relationship with Peter. I had positive thoughts about her; I wanted her to find her mums, hopefully she will in the future.

Wanda: While I understood her motivations, I feel like more time could have been given to her corruption; how she got to that point, how she found out about America, why none of the other dimensions she looked in had a Vision (That is a bit sus, huh? I suppose his death was a fixed point too) 

I saw people saying this movie made them not like Wanda but I felt sorry for her, she deserved some happiness and the end of WandaVision implied that she was going to save the kids (Which would have been better) Instead of trying to take them away from another version of herself. Although it would be interesting if the screams she heard were them actually yelling at her, hmm.

Doctor Strange: There sure was a lot of him in this movie, him playing all the parts super well and yet in that flashback scene with Christine he was clean shaven and me and my sister just started giggling cuz it looked so wrooong, sorry Bendy but you’re not hot unless you have a beard. 

He had some nice character development; We saw that he’s not happy, a lot of people still question his decisions about the snap, that he still loves and misses Christine a lot, that he’s a big old hypocrite by telling Wanda not to use the Darkhold then goes ahead and uses the Darkhold.

Wong: Wong was great, he was out there being all supreme and pulling rock monster down the cliff, good for him. Too bad a lot of his apprentices got offed though.

Christine: In a shocking turn of events, I actually didn’t hate Rachel McAdams in this movie, that was rather an odd experience.

The Illuminati: What a bunch of wieners! Strange be like listen, Wanda she’s dangerous and they were all like ‘nah, but you’re still more dangerous though’ they all got bodied though, like damn. It was nice to see Professor X, Reed Richards and Captain Carter (I know TikTok has a hate boner for her, but I like her) interesting they called in Black Bolt considering that everyone likes to pretend the Inhumans series didn’t exist, gives me hope that one day they can bring Daisy back into the fold.

Now for the quick fire, a lot of other things they could of expanded upon:

So who carved that big picture of the Scarlett Witch on the wall? Was it them funky monsters? If yes then they have some skills. Also I know no one ever goes there but surely someone must have known about it beforehand?

What I am getting from the multiverse is that in every dimension Doctor Strange is an asshole psychopath and ours is the only that that is sort of normal, weird😲 

Wong said the Darkhold that Wanda had was a copy, so like how many copies were out there and how did Agatha get one? Also she was already pretty evil, how was she corrupted by it? 

People be like ‘Oooh, Loki and Sylvie broke the multiverse’ Odd they didn’t make an appearance in this then.

it was a very pretty movie but some story beats felt off, I think because Sam Raimi said he hadn’t seen how WandaVision ended before they started filming, that makes a lot of sense.

Everyone out here gushing over Reed and I’m like ‘Sir! Sir where is my badass Phil Coulson? They can pretend all they want that AoS isn’t canon but the multiverse has been split open baby, he’s out there somewhere.

When Strange goes to find her, she’s just projecting an apple field somewhere, uh sir? Did you not realise that wasn’t real?

[officialwittek]

pt. 4

*gif is not mine* 

word count: 2,101

Ever since my little conversation with the girls I haven’t been able to really be myself around Jeff. Now I notice the side glances, the lingering touches on my thigh, the way his breath hitches when I get pushed a little too close to him at parties, and everything else I haven’t noticed before. My friends were adamant that he liked me back but I couldn’t see it. Slowly I distanced myself from them, for one my manager thought it would be a good idea to release some new music soon so I was extra busy and I can’t really be around my friends without feeling like my heart is going to explode. Of course they started noticing and not a day went by where I didn’t get texts from at least three of them asking where I was and why I stopped coming around. Even Jason and Josh dropped my apartment to make sure I was still alive.

Three weeks have gone by since my sleepover with Jeff. We still talk but not as much as before. Carly and Natalie were constantly calling and texting and I truly felt bad, but it would seem like such a bullshit excuse to say it’s because of my crush on Jeff.

“Sage, this is... this is real good work. I’m thinking we finish it up, and be set to release it in two weeks” James, my manager, said listening to to the final of three of the songs

“Thanks dad, I think today we’re recording the last song. I’ll email you our final version by the end of the day” I reply, he ruffles my hair and nods, leaving for another meeting while the producer and I talk about the last track

We record for about four hours, fine tuning every last detail. After the two of us finally felt good about it we sent the file to James who also gave the approval. We sent it in the the higher ups who also gave us the ok. All the promotional pictures were finished, we had an album cover chosen, now to put it all together and make this my first serious piece of art. After the long morning I decided to head straight to my apartment. I wasn’t particularly hungry anyways. I parked my car and took the elevator up to my apartment.  

I noticed shushing and brushed it off, thinking it was just Carly and Erin messing around. I unlock the door and see all of my friends crammed into this fairly small apartment. No one had their cameras out and they all had their arms crossed I sighed and put my things down before shutting the door.

“Before you even say anything. No I’m not on drugs, I don’t hate anyone, and I actually have been working on my music. My first EP is coming out in a few weeks” I explain, their faces relax and Carly walks up to me

“Don’t you ever try to ghost us like that again. We hated it” She said, wrapping her slender arms around my shoulders and I nodded, our friends came around and we all had a sweet group hug

“Well a congratulations are in order. I think we should celebrate tonight” David says, laughing loudly

“Fine, I’m stealing a Red Bull from your fridge though” I say, we all go downstairs and I finally notice some of their cars parked there

We all head to David’s house and I grab a Red Bull. We all sit in the living room. Filming dumb bits and getting ready for tonight. David wanted to throw it at his house since he wanted to keep it relatively small. Natalie, Carly, and Erin went to stock up for the night, asking me about all my favorite things. It took about an hour and a half for them to come back. Everyone helped get things from Nat‘s car and set up. We were finally ready and decided to start drinking before everyone got here.

“May Ilya and Zane stay away from the hospital. Amen” I yell, all of them cheering in response as we take our shots

After a few rounds of shots I was already pretty tipsy. I sat down at the couch, answering a few congratulatory texts from others. I talked to a few of our friends here and there. Jeff was nowhere to be found. I frowned a bit, but who can blame him? After all, I’m the one who made the decision to not talk to him.

“Do you think we could get a sneak peak?” Jason asks, taking a set next to me but I shake my head

“I want to keep it a complete surprise. Plus I’ve been thinking about having a release party and showing everyone there” I said, Jason actually thought that was a much better idea than just playing it

We made small talk here and there, apparently Wyatt has been dying to see my new studio. I loved Jason’s kids like they were my own family, especially since Wyatt and I have such a love for music.

“I’d love to have Wyatt at the studio. He can even record some things if he wants to. I know how to produce as well” I said, Jason damn near cried at the suggestion and we set a date

“Someone looks a little sober” Zane yells from behind us, I laugh and allow him to take me to the kitchen where the others were taking shots or making their best interpretations of different cocktails

After sampling everyone’s horrible attempt at a blackberry mojito it’s safe to say I was one shot away from exiting the physical realm. Especially since Zane decided it was appropriate to just dump nearly an entire bottle of rum in the drink. After a few minutes Todd headed to the door and let someone in. I heard the familiar accent and my heart dropped to my stomach. Jeff is here.

To be fair, I’m probably the only one who really cares that much, especially since I’m drunk as hell and I have a crush on the dude. I try to run and hide in a corner but there’s a lot more people now. I finally see an opening and head straight for the backyard. Thankfully no one noticed because Zane was too busy doing something extremely dangerous. I sit in one of the chairs we reserve for smoking, hitting my puff and scrolling mindlessly through TikTok, trying to get the thoughts out of my head. I hear the sliding door open and look up to see David.

“Alright what’s wrong? You look like we threw a party because we killed your dog” David jokes, my lips spread into a light smile

“Nothing, I’ve just been so exhausted lately with everything going on.. that’s all” I lie, I mean I’m not really lying, just not telling him the whole truth

“So it has nothing to do with Jeff showing up and you’re definitely overthinking and avoiding him even more. C’mon I’ve known you for forever, you can’t lie to me” He replies, his tone suddenly being serious

And it’s true, I’ve known David since I moved out here. He was my first real L.A friend. He’s seen me at my absolute lowest moments, and someone I could always go to whenever something was wrong. I hated that he could read me like a book.

“Fine, the Jeff thing is a contributing factor. But I’m being honest about the exhaustion” I say, crossing my arms like a child

We sit and talk, something we haven’t done in forever. It felt nice to have someone listen to me. After about half an hour of just talking we decide to head back inside. I felt too sober again and took some shots with Natalie and Toddy. I could feel Jeff’s eyes glaring a hole into the side of my head, but I was too sober to deal with anything right now.

At around 1:00 am. I got hungry and ordered DoorDash for everyone. All the other guests had left so it was just our main group scattered around the house. Jeff was surprisingly still here. Todd had whispered to me earlier that the only reason he was sticking around this late was to make sure I got home alright. I smiled at the sentiment, he was always making sure my drunk ass was safe.

Our DoorDash arrived and we all ate while watching some movie David found on Netflix. Jeff took a seat next to me, the look in his eyes was telling me he was going to ask for my permission so I simply nodded and scooted over so he could be comfortable. After we ate David wanted to get some last minute bits before we left for his vlog tomorrow.

“Jeff are you attracted to Sage?” David asks, my breath hitches in my throat, making me choke on my water

“No, I’ve blocked her out. Since she’s part of the friend group I don’t want to make anything weird” He replies, I can tell the answer even made David a little upset

Jason makes a joke to lighten the mood before there’s any tension which I greatly appreciate. Although Jeff’s words struck a cord, while I sit there repeating what he said it hits me. He’s right, I can’t guarantee that if Jeff and I were together that it would be for life and I can’t lose my second family. He’s right, it would never happen. Before I know it I feel my eyes watering and Natalie gently grabs my hand before leading me to her room with the rest of the girls in tow. When she closes the door I finally let it all out

“It’s ok princess, let it out” Mariah says, the girls wrapping me in a group hug

“It’s so stupid, we’re best friends before I let this stupid ass crush ruin everything but just hearing him say that out loud made it so much more concrete that we will never be together” I cry, resting my head on her shoulder

We have a little talk and I clean myself up before we all go back outside. At that point  David was done filming and was looking through the footage on his camera to pick out some clips. Jeff was waiting patiently on the couch before Corinna spoke up.

“Hey Jeff, I’m gonna take Sage home. We have some plans tomorrow and it would just be easier if I stay over” She says, it’s sort of true, Corinna has some meetings in the morning and they’re closer to my place but she isn’t staying over

“Oh ok, I should head out then. I’ll see you guys later” Jeff says, saying his goodbyes and leaving

“So was anyone else uncomfortable with Jeff’s answer or was it just me?” David asks, the group agrees, it’s definitely in his right to say that I mean no is mad

“Yea, I wasn’t mad cause it’s his own opinion and Jeff is a big boy, but he seems to sort of lead you on for him to turn around and say that he doesn’t even see you like when we ask him about Natalie and Corinna” Heath replies, everyone nods in agreement and I just sigh

“I’m not mad, I mean I have been sort of ghosting everyone these past few weeks, maybe he’s just upset” I explain, Heath and Todd give me the look

“Baby that’s bullshit and you know it” Heath laughs, Todd agrees with him and taps my leg

“To be honest, he was very stressed out while you were gone” He says, I know he’s trying to make me feel better but it doesn’t really help

Corinna and I leave shortly after we have our little group talk. We caught up during the car ride and before I know it we’re at my apartment. We say goodbye and plan to meet for lunch tomorrow before I head up to my apartment. I knew Carly was probably fast asleep so I tried to be as quiet as possible.

I get ready for bed and climb into my warm blanket, wrapping myself like a burrito. I browse TikTok on my phone for a few minutes before setting my alarm. Just before I let sleep take over my phone buzzes on my nightstand.

Jeff: I missed you.. I’m sorry for being an asshole tonight. I had no idea that I was leading you on, but I didn’t know you had a crush on me..

Fuck.

[turtletimewriting]

TickleTober Day 2: Feathers

Summary: Patton has made it his mission to test different tools against the others.

Note: Platonic or romantic, either way! This is a tickle fic if you didn’t know! Ler Patton and literally Lee everyone else (includes Deceit and Remus).

_._._

This was all Logan’s fault. He had just joked that they should test which tools were most effective against each of them. It was merely mentioned once. Only to tease Roman who he knew was very tool sensitive. Yet, here they were. The thought had never left Patton’s mind since hearing it. Logan probably didn’t even remember saying it. But the inner tickle monster and the renowned most teasiest tickler couldn’t let it go. The ler mood had been simmering since. And now, it was all boiling over. 

Now he was doing Logan proud and had even come up with a plan.

Patton was merely dusting around the mindscape. A very normal activity to do. Cleaning is very important. Setting a good example for Thomas. That was his excuse. He had never dusted the mindscape ever before. And he was hoping that someone (his plan predicted that it would be Logan) who would point it out first. 

And here Logan came now. 

“Patton? Are you... dusting?” He frowned before continuing to grab himself a drink. Completely missing Patton’s stilted turn and him raising the feather duster. He tip toed one step closer. Arms drawn up like the monster he was. 

“Yes, I thought that everyone could be spruced up...” He crept closer to his turned back. His manic grin stretching just that bit further. Logan merely focused his attention on filling the glass, completely missing Patton’s deliberate wording of ‘everyone’ rather than everything. He set it down and finally looked back. 

Patton lurched forward. 

“Patton! Wha-what are you doing?!” Logan shrieked. Patton knocked him down to lay on his back. Patton sat perched on his hips. One of his hands clutched Logan’s forearms. His arms pinned above his head. Completely trapped. A feather duster clasped in Patton’s grip, pointed at him. 

“Sprucing up the place! You’ve been stuck up in your room for too long! Leaning over your desk...” Patton sang as he kept his eyes stuck on his own actions. It was more awkward than he thought to pluck one feather from the duster but he smirked once he felt a long fluffy plume come loose. “You’ve collected dust yourself! It's just a spring clean! A quick feathery cleaning! It shouldn’t tickle that bad...”

“Wait wait wait! I um... feathers won’t work! Also! People cannot get dusty. Wait! I move enough!” Logan stuttered before turning into high pitched shrieking, but Patton grew bored. Sounded too sciency. Time for his own science experiment. 

Using the fluffy end of the feather, he pushed the polo sleeve down. He then crept the feather closer to Logan’s armpit, making sure to go slowly and carefully ignoring Logan’s pleas. Twirling it slowly. Logan’s voice rang higher and higher. It slowly danced down his sleeve to Patton’s target. Then the feather touched down and instantly started flicking up and down. 

“PAAAAA! PATAAAHAHAHAAH PAT! PAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Logan exploded. His head started thrashing from side to side. But his arms merely flexed rather than tried to break free. 

“Aw Logan! Too much build up? I’ve never heard you laugh so loud!” Patton smiled but his surprise was genuine. Logan was bellowing out loud belly laughs. It was only a feather. He’d never been particularly tool sensitive before... but he famously couldn’t handle build up. 

“PAHAHAHATTON! HAHAHAHAHA! HA!” He realised a guttural snort and felt his face warm over, “It HAHAHA HA HEHE hah it tic- hehhahahahaha! It tickles!”

“What tickles? I don’t see anything that could tickle! Just a giggly Logan getting nice and clean and free from dust!” 

Patton merely kept swirling the feather all around. The tip flickering in the centre of the pit to the length of the feather teasing the pit and also the side of his ribs at the same time. His laughter was slowing down, the anticipation cooling down. But he was definitely laughing harder than giggles. All being noted by Patton- if Logan could pay any attention he’d be so proud of his experiment and note taking! 

“Should we be fair? There’s no use only cleaning one side! Shall we go to the other side now? Oh but what if I’ve missed a spot here?” Patton cooed and stopped the feather. The tip resting right in the middle. 

“NO! Noohohohohohahahahahaaaaa! AAAAH! Patton!” Logan cried out. Even his laughter moved him enough that it felt like the feather was brushing up and down. Up and down. Just that tiny tip smoothing along his pit. 

“No? We’ll move on then! No problem, kiddo!” Patton grinned and paused. Logan finally looked at him. Patton only then started to move the feather. The fluffy fronds creeping back up the sleeve. 

“NOOOOOO! PATTON! AAAAHAHAHAHA!” Logan tried to rock away from him so the feather could leave quicker. Patton simply smiled and then whipped the feather out and instantly shoved down the other sleeve. “AH! Hahahahaha! Patton! Nooo ohohhahahaha feathers!”

“What feathers? I don’t see any feathers! I can’t see anything that would be tickle tickle tickling you? No feathers that are tickling you here! You must just be extra giggly today!”

“PATTON! AHAHhahahaaahhahaha! My sleeve!”

“Nah, I think you’re imagining things!” 

Patton let his excited grin settle into a peaceful smile. He didn’t usually make notes on his ticklees- he knew them too well.  He didn’t need notes to remember that Logan wasn’t that feather ticklish. But clearly the appearance of the feather was teasy enough by itself, regardless of how ineffective it was, so Patton made sure to make note of that. 

Patton's original plan was to look extra cool by walking away leaving Logan on the floor red faced. But... his mind would never allow that. He sat him up and pressed a kiss to his head before skipping away. Logan only shook his head and pulled up his phone to text the others. 

Roman was next! But he so often got caught up in his world of the imagination that it was always random luck whether he would come out of his room. It was better to just barge in rather than put up a façade of dusting. “House keeping!” Patton called as he knocked. He waited a few seconds before entering anyway. 

He smiled wide when he saw that Remus had joined him in this recent brainstorming session. Usually that smile would be over the fact that they were so sweet with each other. Finally someone who could keep up with Remus and someone who could actually one up Roman. But this time his brain celebrated the idea of two birds, one stone. “Hey kiddos! I’m walking around doing some cleaning, do you mind sitting down so I could-”

“Well then where’s your French maid outfit!”

“Clean your desks! Why don’t you both lay down on the bed? I won’t be long and you both can overdo it! Juts relax,” Patton smiled, hoping they wouldn’t question such a remark. But then again they weren’t Logan. 

And just like he thought... they only shrugged and flopped down on the bed. 

Patton kept up his excuse for a groundbreaking few seconds before leaping on to the bed himself. He aimed carefully, he sat on Roman’s thighs so he could perfectly aim for his tummy. As much as Patton would absolutely love to tickle torture Remus, he was still new to the group and he didn’t want to crowd him. If he did this the second Anxiety was accepted then Virgil would've completely freaked out! Better safe than sorry. 

“W-What on earth are you doing!” Roman laughed, clearly in too much of a good mood to notice Patton’s own almost threatening glare. 

“I’ve seen too many... films that start just like this!” 

“Don’t worry kiddos! I just wanted to make sure you’re clean! Germs are everywhere you know!” Patton had to bat away Roman’s hands as he slowly pushed up his tunic but luckily he had Remus! Remus caught on to his twin’s embarrassment instantly and quickly grabbed his hands. “Oh, see! Completely dusty!”

“Oh! Patton! Wait wait WAIT! NOHOHOHOOHAHAHHEHEHAAAA!” Roman screamed once he felt that feather duster brush over his tummy. From one side, it smoothed over to the other. Making sure to swirl around his belly button. Roman broke down into squeaky laughter that made everyone in the room smile themselves. His laughter was just so bright and excitable. 

“Aw what’s wrong Roman? Are you too tickly to be dusted? It’s only a feather! One tiny flimsy feather! A feather and you’re telling me Prince Roman can’t handle it! Big strong Prince Roman being weak and tickly to some feathers...” Patton cooed while turning and quickly brushing the duster around his tummy. This time he used the whole duster as he already knew that Roman was feather sensitive and the sight of all those feathers would fluster Roman alone. Patton also knew that if he kept moving it around rather than any precise targeting then it would tickle all the more. Lot’s of tickles for the over the top cackling Prince. 

But.. then there was some hushed giggles also spread out in Roman’s laughter. 

Patton then noticed that when he feathered Roman’s left side, he was also brushing over Remus’ right side. 

“Oh! And also the duke! Is this what I’m seeing! That even the tough-guy gross duke is too tickly to face some simple fluffy tickly tickling feathers?!” 

Remus was wearing a crop top version of his normal outfit- the same fancy shoulder pads and patterned sleeves but the lacy black tunic ended a little above his belly button. So, the feathers kept flickering over his own side as he was laid right next to him. But his hands were busy pinning Roman’s hands. Remus’ was trying his hardest to hide his giggles but Patton could see the exact same squeaky laughter desperate to come out. His face was scrunched and blushing a violent red. 

“Oh! No, Roman! Look at what you’ve done now, you’ve gotten Remus all dusty! Here I thought you were the responsible brother. Now I have to tickle tickle tickle both of you! Oh no! Poor dusty tickly tickly brothers!” Patton cooed and started to brush the feather duster faster and faster across both of the tummies. Roman’s desperate laughter dying out only for Remus’ to instantly pick up. 

Patton had to laugh at how in sync they truly were. Their laughter was the exact same. Clearly their tummies were both very feather sensitive. When the duster went to tickle the other’s tummy, the other brother would pin their arms down. When he tickled them both, they both clung to each other’s hands like that would somehow stop the tickles. Meaning Patton was free to tickle away! 

“Aw, I wonder if I can make this quicker by tickling both of you. Maybe if I just squish you two together?” Patton then pushed on Remus’ back so he was forced to curl into Roman, leaving him able to tickle the middle of their tummies together. 

“AAAAH! PADAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHA! HA! PADREEEAAA!” Roman wiggled uselessly and clung to his brother’s hands. It tickled way too much for him to realise that he could fight back. 

“EEEHHEHHAHHAHAHAHHEHEHHAHAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAA!” Remus hid in his face in Roman’s shoulder. He had never been tickled by feathers and now he was thankful! The fluffy silky feathers swarming around his tummy made butterflies explode in his tummy. It all managed to both be fluffy light tickles but also scratchy firm tickles! His tummy was uselessly sucking in but the feather duster would only just about reach his tummy. Meaning it was either face the tickles or sit there and face tiny light fluffy tickles to the edge of his sides. 

Patton waited until Roman’s face turned bright red as well before sitting up. Clearly Remus was only embarrassed while Roman’s blush was a pretty good way to tell if he was reaching his limit. He did the same for them as he did Logan, sitting them up and pressing them together so he could kisses to their heads. But only he made sure to give a reassuring squeeze to Remus’ hand, hopefully he knew that he wasn’t torturing him but playfully bonding with him. If not, then Roman would fill him in that this was just how Patton was. 

His next target was Virgil and it was the exact plan as Roman. Virgil so rarely left his room and so a direct approach was necessary. What his plan didn’t account for was Logan sending a warning text to everyone. Virgil’s room was empty. 

At first glance. 

But a closer inspection revealed that his favourite blanket was missing from its place on the bed and was instead peeking out of the wardrobe. The quiet tinny music (probably blasting through headphones) sounded from the same place. It all added up to Virgil hiding out in his wardrobe. What a cutie! 

“House cleaning! I’m just here to do some dusting!” Patton announced and immediately skipped to the wardrobe and sat against the doors. As much as he loved teasing, Virgil wouldn’t stand a few seconds of teasy before making a run for it. Patton leaned forward and, quick as a whip, reached into the wardrobe and snatched whatever he could. Virgil shrieked but was too surprised to fight back. By some miracle, he had grabbed an ankle. Meaning a now wiggly foot was poking out of the wardrobe. 

Virgil didn’t even have time to flick his headphones off his head by the time he felt feathers trailing over his foot. It was a feather duster. Logan had warned him. But Patton had thoroughly defeated his fortress of anti-ticklishness. It managed to tickle his whole foot. It seemed to swallow his whole foot in fluffy moving tickles. “HA! HA HA hehhehahahehehe! AAAHH! Patton! It tihiih- tickles! C’mon! HA! HAhehhehehahehe!” 

“Well maybe if you didn’t try to hide away then I wouldn’t have to tickle so much!” Patton hummed as he focused on the tickles. He was trying to be sneaky about untangling a single feather and so wasn’t putting his usual effort into his teases. He already knew that Virgil wouldn’t explode into laughter at the feathers. But that wasn’t going to stop him from tickling him to his best. At least he could give him a good light tickles session. Once he had a feather free, he simply held the foot by his heel and threaded the feather through his scrunched up toes. 

“AAAAH! PATTON! PATTON! PAAAAA! HAHAhaheheheeeehheehehHhA!” Virgil thrashed and tried to fall out of the wardrobe but Patton leaned heavily on the door. Trapped with his foot stuck out there, receiving all the tickles it could stand. 

“Oh that wardrobe got you all dusty! There’s some dust here... and here... oh that patch over there... It’s all over your toes! Look some much dust! So many tickle tickle tickles needed to clean your toes!” Patton giggled as the doors tried to bang open again. Really he was struggling to keep the fight or flight side trapped. It was like sitting against a bucking bull so Patton kept focused on giving lots of tickles all at once. He knew there was no way he was going to last long. 

And he didn’t. 

With a long squeal, Virgil managed to burst out of the wardrobe and fall on top of Patton. He simply laughed as Virgil took giggly deep breaths. “Get off of me!” Patton laughed as he went to stand up, causing Virgil to slump on to the floor. He helped him to sit up against the wardrobe and smoothed his hair back which Virgil whined at his bangs being ruined. 

And then there was one. 

Deceit, or Janus, was sitting there in the common rooms. His leg resting on the other, his fingers steepled under his chin, a book sat beside him on the chair arm, and his eyes boring into Patton. 

Patton stumbled but kept a brave face. “Hey Janus! What ya waiting for?” Patton smiled as he walked over to the chair, already planning to duck behind it so he could tickle his neck, Janus simply looked over at him. Making direct eye contact as Patton awkwardly side stepped around the common room to get behind him. 

As the feather, the first fluffy feather frond, touched down on Janus’ neck... ready to flick the tool down the side of his neck. As the feather touched down, Janus grabbed his wrist. 

His third arm grabbed the feather as he gracefully launched off the chair. Two arms restrained Patton’s arms. Janus pinned Patton to his front so his other arms were free to attack. 

“Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Janus, wait, no no, Janus!” Patton screamed but the other free hands were now all holding bright yellow feathers, this time with the stem pointed at him. Janus did not wait. 

The stems all dived under his top and traced around his tummy and sides. It looked ridiculous, Patton squirming against him with four hand shaped bulges dancing under his shirt around his tummy. Two swirled from his sides, across his hips, making sure to circle the hip bones and skated across the quivering tummy. Laughter frantically burst from Patton, useless against the hard tickles. “What dear Patton? You say to stop but I don’t possibly see what could be tickling you!” Janus taunted, exaggerating by whipping his head around and peering over Patton’s heaving shoulders. “Besides, it was you going around tickling! You made a plan and everything! What are your notes, or did you forget? Did you forget to pay attention. Too focused on tickle tickle tickling away to remember your plan. When did you forget? When getting the twins? Virgil?”

“JAAANAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAAAA! EEEEE! HAHAHAHAHAHA!” 

The others all walked in seeing Patton being destroyed by tickles that Janus just could not see let alone stop! All of them merely smiled and kept on their way. 

[yourdailykitsch]

Do you know why Taylor is so closed off? I understand being a celebrity can be tough but seems like you only hear about him when he’s about to film something.

Answer: He just likes his privacy. He prides himself on keeping his private life private. I think it was an Elle feature that was done on him when the interviewer commented on how she couldn't find any dirt on him and he was like gleeful about it. He's the kind of celebrity we're not used to, the kind that is actually in it for the work and not the "celebrity" and instagram followers and clout. I actually think the celebrity of it all overwhelms him a bit. He mentioned that after FNL came onto Netflix he went to a Rangers game and the number of people that approached him was almost too much. He's appreciative of it, but I think he likes that he can go to LA or New York and do the media and press, red carpet for an event and that's it, then he can go be normal in Texas.

Ask #2: Who’s with Taylor in LA? Does Jennifer ever go on any of his movie sets? Does anyone know how long he will be shooting in LA?

Answer: His friend Kevin is there with him, I'd imagine acting as his PA this time around. Jennifer has gone to visit him on location in the past. Online sources say that production goes until August, I don't know if that means it's done by August or into August...but August is the answer.

Ask #3: 🚨TAYLOR WAS ON SET TODAY! 🚨Christ Pratt posted an Instagram story about him! No pictures accompanied but maybe this means they could? Who knows? But chris spoke highly of him which was nice to hear!

Answer: I know it kind of seemed like Chris and Taylor were just working together on set for the first time but I don't think that's true. There was an extra that mentioned that he'd been on set with Taylor/Chris a bit ago as well and it was an emotional scene. The extra mentioned how he needed to step up his game after seeing how both Chris and Taylor could go from so emotional on camera to laughing off. But it's nice that they're getting along and I love that Chris spoke highly of him. If they don't do the Murph together I'll be bummed.

Ask #4: What's Taylor's character in the Terminal list like? I've tried looking it up but the only description of Ben Edwards that I can find is "womanizer" 😂

Answer: That's kind of his depth in the book to be honest. I feel like his role will be expanded upon on the show but he's an ex Navy SEAL who is now in the CIA, kind of described as a beach bum now, not clean cut, in jeans and flip flops, womanizer...been married a few times. I don't want to say more without spoiling.

Ask #5 and #6: Do you think Taylor got his role in terminal list because of his role in 21 bridges? Is anyone from lone survivor working on terminal list?

Answer: It would not shock me if some of the guys that have worked with Taylor on both Lone Survivor and True Detective are there on set for The Terminal List as well. Do I think he got his role because of 21 Bridges? Or I guess American Assassin or Savages or Lone Survivor or any of his military based roles...I don't want to say he's being pigeon holed but he does seem to gravitate toward these roles and does well with them.

Ask #7: Having now read The Terminal List, I find this a strange project for Taylor. Not in the sense that it’s bad but his character doesn’t really do much. Like kind of just one note. I know for the show it may be rewritten (and hopefully is) so that he’s more prominent and important. I really wanna see him do something a bit different. I know he’s said he has some stuff in the pipeline but that was back in January right? Inferno and Pieces (if they ever happen) do sound a bit different whilst still being something familiar, but I’d love to see him do something he has NEVER done. Maybe something will be announced soon until then we’ll just have to hold our hope that the Terminal List is great !

Answer: This was my reaction after reading it. You could probably count the number of scenes he's in on one hand. I have to believe that his role will be expanded upon in the show or why would he do it? I don't want to think that this is what he's being reduced to and has to take because he's not being offered other roles. So I have to trust that he knows what he's doing. But like I mentioned in the last answer, he's being pigeon holed a bit here...he might want to try something different. Inferno would be a good start, just genre wise.

Ask #8: Have you noticed that celebrities that Taylor works with don’t follow him on Instagram. Do you reckon that don’t know he has it?

Answer: I think part of the issue is he's just not active on there, some people might not know he has it. Though Chris Pratt got the coveted Taylor follow on instagram. I mean Taylor wasn't even following Derek Phillips who he's closer with than anyone until this week...

Ask #9: Has jack carr said anything about Taylor?

Answer: He did do a podcast where he talked about being on The Terminal List set and how normal everyone was and that he and Taylor texted at some point that he was nice, but that was about it. The focus was more on Chris since he's the lead.

Ask #10: Is the Australian version of shadowplay mans version or American? Will the DVD be mans version when sold there?

Answer: I cannot give you a definitive answer for sure on this, but as SBS aired the original version and that's the only one that has been shown in Australia I have to imagine the DVD would be the original version.

[reversecreek]

clicks onto the dash wearing kitten heels n coyly holding my bang....... hi. me again. it took me so long to select a gif to use on cricket’s intro n i settled on this one bc he looks so unsure abt his smile n it’s rly his essence <3 u can find his pinterest board here n his (work in progress) spotify playlist here. hmu to plot!!! 

* alex wolff, cis male + he/him | you know cricket donahue, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, all of their life, on and off? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to should have known better by sufjan stevens like, a million times this year, which slipping on wet leaves to photograph a tree struck alight by lightning, delivering a tedtalk to your own reflection to hype yourself up to buy groceries, hiding your hands inside of your sleeves in case you grew an impromptu megan fox thumb overnight thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is october 1st, so they’re a libra, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt, she/her )

HISTORY:

cricket ws born to a couple tht lived in lilac ridge. their trailer was tucked closest to the woods n always fell under the shade. it was like the leaves wanted to pretend they were a perpetual hanging cloud on the family n that was kind of fitting. their only reason fr having him in the first place was a kind of shrugged like........... we’re under the income bracket we’d get child benefits so why not! may as well try it to rake in some extra cash! needless to say they didn’t rly think it thru or anticipate all of the responsibilities tht came w children n wound up seeing him as an extremely large burden n boy didn’t he know it!

(child neglect & abuse tw) i’ll try to keep this part vague n brief but things were Not Good for cricket growing up. people in lilac ridge didn’t like his parents n it was for a gd reason. he remembers foggy things. being little n wandering around combing the grass with a stick to search for wrappers to suck on bc he was hungry. feeling uneasy when the front door opened. finding out his name was cricket bc the insects used to crawl into their trailer thru the vents n his parents liked to squish them into the carpet -- his mum told him as much once. i think this says a lot. to excessively trim the fat of the story he wound up entering the system at around 8 after his latest and most serious hospital visit. his parents hd to deal w the authorities n last he heard they bounced to evade charges.

(anxiety & violence & trauma tw) cricket sustained a few lifelong injuries from his time in lilac ridge. his knee didn’t heal right which meant he had (n still has to this day) a limp n he’s partially deaf in one ear. he’s always been an incredibly insecure n anxious person so this mde him rly self conscious going into a strange n new environment tht wld b difficult fr any kid to adjust to, nvm w these added worries. he jst felt like something weird to ogle at honestly. he probably wld have felt like that no matter where he was or what he looked like. he cld be in a huge hall of 200 people all wearing the same uniform n he’d still feel like the odd one out. needless to say this didn’t rly help him make friends

cricket’s coping mechanisms were romanticising the things tht other people found ugly or embarrassing or painfully ordinary. he liked it when the rain hit clunky drops against school windows n forbid everyone from playing outside bc he could feel the vibrations through the rubber soles of his shoes n it was a little bit like hearing all of the world at once fr just a moment. he liked medieval fantasy lore about stout gnomes w crumbs in their beards n cheeks red from ale. he liked fallen nests with the remnants of hatched eggs still dirty from the branches n soil they’d hit on the way down. he liked the way the sunlight leaked thru the leaves of the trees in the woods and how, when he sat very still, he could tune into the ringing that was always in his ear n pretend it was coming from the same place, that light thru the leaves, that the angels were trying to talk to him.

he spent a lot of time in the red room at his high skl (i’m begging u this is not a 50 shades reference) (after googling i jst realised it’s called a darkroom bt i’m leaving this fr the sake of sexy bimbo authenticity) n felt quite at home in there. he borrowed a camera whenever he cld (maybe he did yearbook) n photography became his way of immortalising the world as the romanticised version he wanted it to be. his memories were bad bt his photos were beautiful. maybe if he took enough they’d paste over n bleed into each other. maybe bad cld be replaced w beautiful if he tried his very best.

he got placed into fostering w a family once bt apparently didn’t meet the vibe check of their tastes so he wound up returning to the group home he’d initially been placed in. overall this is where he grew up n he aged out the system rather than getting adopted. there was a sense of floundering/isolation/not feeling gd enough in tht bt cricket made do the best he knew how. 

that said there were some gd points! (shocking i kno bc his life hs been so fking bleak so far bt please it’s ok........) (is it?) (🤔). basically he interned as an assistant at this local photography studio during high skl working under this kind of whimsical yet endearing old man. suspected wizard possibly in cricket’s eyes, as an avid fantasy genre reader. for one of his bdays said old man / his boss bought him his very own film camera n cricket cried bc he’d never been bought a bday gift. this ws rly embarrassing bc this old man didn’t know how to emote n neither did cricket so he ws jst sort of sat wiping his eyes n sniffling saying he wasn’t crying as the old man pretended to suddenly clean his lenses. when cricket graduated he offered him a full time position there. they do like. wedding photographs n family portraits n all kinds of things...... pay isn’t huge bt it’s something n he Loves taking photos so it’s sexy <3

PERSONALITY:

SUCH an anxious person it’s actually unreal. overthinks absolutely everything he’s ever said. one morning he might hv put green socks on n for the rest of the day he’s nervously looking around like omggggggg they’re all looking at my socks probably thinking im a little green sock boy thinking i’m a fool n a jester this is all everyone’s probably thinking about i hv to hide my green socks..... even tho literally no-one cares

once saw a girl eating a chicken wing n in his head was like ok she likes chicken good future gift idea..... n turned up at her house with an entire rotisserie chicken

probably thinks WAY too hard abt what to write in bday cards n googles like generic ideas that he can use.... u open a card from cricket n it always says smthn weird like “Warmest wishes and love on your birthday and always!” or “You deserve everything happy. Wishing you that all year long!” tht he got off google

nervously fiddles w things a lot. literally anything. his hair. the cuffs of his sleeves. a thread on his bag. u name it

struggles w eye contact sometimes............ it’s like. he wants to talk to ppl n make friends bt he’s honestly so bad at it. he’s fumbling thru life like a nervous headless chicken

ALWAYS has his camera on him. like always. will tke a photo of u bc he thinks u look nice then be like im so sorry im so sorry...... bowing his head shakily holding his camera bc he doesn’t even kno what possessed him he jst thought it’d be a nice photograph bt boundaries exist. probably breathes very heavily over this later in his room panicking thinking he nw seems like hannibal lecter

probably more confident online bc he has time to think abt what he says more.......... i can see him hving a group of online friends tht he’s more confident w. honestly he’s pretty witty at heart he jst has a hard time verbalising things so ppl overlook him sometimes bt once u get to know him more / he’s more comfy he can b a funny little man.....

loves photographs where he cuts something out of them. loves missing spaces n voids. thinks it’s a rly interesting concept when something that isn’t there becomes the focus of a photograph where everything else is. probably loses his mind fr a collage like a front row 1d stan. likes experimenting w light n perception. pretty artistic honestly hs probably made a stop motion film in the past bc that’s just an extended form of photography in his mind bt i doubt he showed anyone

ummm...... very sweet bt like. he reminds me a lot of this quote. “he had the awkward tenderness of someone who has never been loved and is forced to improvise.” feel like tht sums him up quite nicely

WANTED CONNECTIONS

someone he met at a wedding: cricket probably ws forced to photograph a wedding fr his boss one time n it cld b interesting as a place to meet from that....... like. i can imagine either it being rly awkward maybe he accidentally spilled a drink on ur muse n was stuttering rly apologetic n it ws just a train wreck. or mayb they took pity on him or even (in a shocking turn of events) a shine to him n invited him to drink n dance. omgggg the thought of cricket trying to dance makes me wna die n probably mkes cricket wna hyperventilate bt idk maybe he went wild n let loose. mayb they wound up damaging the camera somehow. mayb they had to scramble to get another one n ur muse covered the cost n it was a strange late night excursion tht cricket thought about a lot since. cricket probably vowed to pay them bk somehow no matter what. idk. we can work things out. lots of diff options here. doesn’t have to b a wedding either can b any event tht required a photographer

ppl he went to school w: pretty self explanatory i suppose...... maybe they were frm completely different worlds..... mayb ur muse was popular n cricket was definitely not but they got paired fr an assignment n had to work on a project together....... mayb cricket asked ur muse on a date one time n it was completely embarrassing bc he didn’t realise they had a bf n it haunts cricket at night still bc he’s rly dramatic.... mayb ur muse felt sry fr him n ate lunch w him n inducted him into their group like a lost puppy finding a home.... world’s our oyster

neighbours from his brief time at lilac ridge: not to reference taylor swift but i’m gna reference taylor swift n say we cld do a seven inspired plot here. sighs a little..... then sighs a lot. he was here ages 0-8 so idk. we cld work out childhood plots perhaps....

sickening simp: i mean.............. cricket probably gets crushes on ppl so easily like just. anyone who’s the slightest bit nice to him.................. he’s a disgrace. ok i take it back. bt also please get it together freak............... i didn’t say that. he’d probably b extra nice to this person n try n pay close attention to things they liked so he cld get them little gifts. just a bit embarrassing n lovestruck bless his heart. wldn’t expect anything back tho honestly that just isn’t something he tends to do.

let’s go gays: cricket’s bi but he probably was rly in his head abt liking boys n tried to sort of squash it internally during his younger yrs...... i think he’s more comfy w it now MAYBE idk bt back then i picture him having a friend tht ws kind of like. similarly loserish as him perhaps (no offence to ur muse potentially filling this plot or cricket bt let’s face the facts) n they’d hang out n play games a lot n one time it jst kind of happened n he was like............. *struts in looking around sharply* What going on here? except not. bc it’s cricket. more like *shambles in looking around anxiously* What’s, uh... What’s... the happenings? S--... I’m sorry. (immediate apology for saying what’s the happenings bc nobody talks like that n it was an impulsive panic bc he didn’t know what else to say)

those who grew up in the system w him: maybe at the group home or i’d also like the family that fostered him n said sayonara. honestly i imagine the parents just thought he ws a bit too much of a handful / had too much baggage which is rly quite merciless n terrible but. if u think that aligns w ur muses home situation hmu......

um. can’t think of more bt just anything honestly. jst go wild.......

[cloveroctobers]

ROBERT “BOBBY” MCKENZIE —

IG info/bio : @/returnofdamckenzie | 426k followers | @/mclitgs2 is my forever boo🤟🏽😍 while @/cardib is my WIFE! She just doesn’t know it yet ❤️ support my work & be part of my family: @/bobbymckcares

24 (25) years young

Born in Dundee, raised in Glasgow, Scotland

Jamaican father named Badrick who is a African studies professor

Caucasian/Scottish mother named Catriona who used to be a au pair but now works as a receptionist in senior living — one eye is honey hazel and the other a dark brown

It was difficult growing up in a school that didn’t accept Bobby being biracial, it resulted in bullying to the point where he needed to switch schools (A lawsuit was also in place) The next school was slightly better but Bobby slowly learned to accept himself as it was not something he could control and not something he would want to in the first place. He was proud of where he came from and never thought he was better or less than anyone else, that wasn’t how he was raised

He’s an only child, his parents thought about adopting (and fostering) but with Bobby they had their hands full and he was just enough for them

His family is very family-oriented so he would never have to feel lonely since they gave him a lot of attention, slightly making him spoiled but he was also around his cousins & spending time with them as well

He’s extremely close to his younger cousin (only by a few months) Femi who he views as his sister. They’ve been through a lot together and are always there for each other so it only makes sense

Most likely an active kid always up to some sort of shenanigans whether it’s by himself or with his group of friends, “why would you do that Bobby?” “Don’t ask why but ask, why not!?”

Definitely suffered some broken bones, concussions, & sprain injuries but would never show signs of pain...guys got a high pain tolerance that’s for sure

Fan of films/series “stand by me” & “the goonies” & “scooby doo” since he feels they relate to his life??

Hospital caterer and loves making those feel better with food that he’s created. If he can’t put a smile on patients face with words then he feels like he can show them with food

Food is an art to him. He went to school for culinary & it’s very important for him to show how much it is to him. He picked up the craft from of course his family, who always used food for numerous of things: to bring people together is one of them

Perfected Jerk haggis, it is now he favorite dish next to desert & breakfast!

I’m struggling to figure out what sign he maybe? He’s very playful which may come off as childish at times, which makes me think of Leo? (Maybe Gemini?) Only because they usually hold onto their childhood as best as they can, very generous, & give their energy to you but I also don’t see him being a fire sign at all? So maybe very little Leo in his chart. I also feel like he might be a bit of an empath? He knows when situations around him don’t feel right, knows how to read the room, and always wants to help others by lighting things up.

Idk but I’m feeling he’s libra sun + Gemini moon + Leo rising? Who knows

Probably lived in a 2 bed flat with his old uni mate. It was small and a bit shit but it was their shit and they made the best of it

Now lives in a stone cottage or farmhouse with MC that was built in the 1900’s & is slightly haunted. He’s decided to call them Duncan??? But he believes they’re a good spirit, maybe even a friendly ghost!? since he got comfortable with the bizarre happenings in the new flat & it doesn’t seem like they want to hurt them

Lottie offered to bring her ouija board next time she visited—Bobby declined

House is mostly neutral based but three of the rooms in the flat are covered in ridiculous patterned walls or furniture much to MC’s distaste but, “what’s yours is mine” right? No. But Gary approves!

Has two dogs: a terrier & a collie since MC wasn’t down for getting a sheep

They do have chickens to raise their own eggs tho!

Definitely the kind of significant other that will ride on the cart when they’re out grocery shopping, will make you breakfast in bed, & will send you memes while he’s at home and you’re out or even when he’s at work and you’re at home, let’s you put his arm to sleep when you’re laying on it in bed (big ass head gang!), definitely chooses the candles from bath & body works that smell like food items (majority of them suck let’s be honest)

Probably smells like cucumber, melons, lemons, and eucalyptus

Has your wedding date in his IG bio & is proud

Annoys Gary & Lottie with his food pics, “oh, Not this shit again! 😡 looks brilliant, but enough!”

Has zoom/FaceTime movie nights with Marisol & MC who stopped feeling like she was third-wheeling months ago

Talks to hope & Noah (in the background) as much as he can. Feels like they’re his inspiration for love, even tho he’s the only one married out of the villa

He values marriage just like his parents do and often has Sunday dinners with them & MC ofc

Probably has relationship guide books and only reads them out of boredom but finds fascinating facts/advice if he pays attention & tries to apply it to his relationship with mc. If it works, it works! & If it doesn’t, you can’t say he didn’t try!

Works long hours but will still come home to cook for MC or brings leftovers from the events he’s catered (most are for the hospital but occasionally he’ll do other events)

Has a separate IG for his work

When WAP dropped, he almost lost his shit. Even tried to get MC to do the challenge with him, he’s pretty bad but MC eventually learned it just for him 😜

Is thrilled that Cardi made the best decision EVER on divorcing offset, “are you thinking of leaving me now?” “... I might.” “BOBBY!” “Haha, I love you!

Absolutely loves Christmas!!! It’s his favorite holiday and he loves giving back to everyone in his life. Usually he’s working overtime for the holidays & it makes him emotional due to the stories he hears & he puts a little extra love in his food

Goes all out for Christmas. Tries to buy/make everyone something. Even if he doesn’t really care for them...he’ll at least send them a x-mas card, if they keep it or burn it it’s entirely up to them—if he knew about it he’d probably be a little sad not gonna lie...he’s a soft king

Once bought Lottie black crocs with spooky pins , “are you joking Bobby?!” He knows she secretly loved them

Uses salt and peppermint in his dark hot cocoa...

Rather make deserts for Christmas than the food, he feels like it’s his duty

King of giving the thumbs up, especially when situations have gone to shit. He’ll still shoot them up with a smile or a grimace

Always inviting someone somewhere. “Bobby, hun. You’re 4-6 hrs away and it’s 1 am.” Hope groaned after listening to his bright idea, thinking something bad happened. “Ah, you could still make it if you tried, lassie.” “I’m gonna hang up now. Good night, bonkers man.”

Needs constant reminding when to get his locs touched up & moisturized

Either has a trampoline or a funhouse jumper in his backyard (maybe both) “we’ve got the space and this is better than a pool, or almost!”

Wants children, a whole footie team! There’s no specific time frame for him, when it happens, it happens

Used to cool & wet temps & loves vacationing in Greenland. Sure the hot weather he experienced in the villa was awesome & something different than what he’s used to but you can’t take the scot out of the man. So he typically sticks to places that are similar in temps, that way he doesn’t have to change his clothing choices much

Loves a good bath. Bubble baths are better than bath bombs to him, PERIOD!

Loves bubbles so much he put too much laundry detergent in the wash (does this on purpose now) and came back home to the dogs and room covered in it. Do you think he cleaned it up before MC came home? No. He decided to have a bubble party in the room with a Caribbean playlist playing in the background

MC definitely posted about it the first time & joined him for a bit, dreading the work that came with cleaning it all up. Now whenever Bobby needs a bubble party, he knows what to do. MC preferred him to have his little bubble party in the tub but 50% of the time he chooses not to listen & they leave him to pout & clean it himself

Likes to hold hands with fingers interlocked. When it’s cold and if you’re both wearing hoodies, he’ll slide his hand inside the arm of your hoodie to help keep you warm

Canon: His version of a snack is spaghetti hoops on toast & can eat that for the rest of his life & be content

If he didn’t end up marrying MC, probably finds his significant other working as a nurse at one of the hospitals he caters to or a volunteer at a old folks home

Never had a serious relationship, very few hookups, was either always placed in the friend zone or there was one person he wanted to be serious with but they rejected him and continued loving someone else who treated them like shit—so he kinda swore off of relationships and just flirted a bunch and kept his love life non-existent

Fav ice cream? Rocky road ice cream with one scoop of cotton candy & one scoop of cookie butter blue

Doesn’t believe in measuring when it comes to culinary. He uses his eyes as his measurement, could be a bad thing, could be a good thing, that’s up to you

If he’s up at night, he’s eating something sweet. A nice glass of single malt scotch whiskey + a splash of coconut milk (🤢) with a slice of angel food cake & he’s out like a light

Absolutely loves shopping for the kitchen, finds immense joy in doing so. If you lose him in a store, one of the places you’ll most likely find him is in the kitchen decor area

Owns a bagpipe & wants to get better at it, even tho he scared the living shit out of his dogs & chickens

Wears his shades quite a bit even tho the weather is hardly sunny and mainly windy & damp

Will hold the door for strangers even if they don’t say thank you

He’s open when it comes to music. Will listen to anything but feels like the music has to be a purpose for something...Everything he does in his day to day life has to feel like a soundtrack to him since in his mind he’s daydreaming about his life being made into a movie. Who isn’t?

He thinks wentworth Miller should play him in a film and that kid from blackish should play him when he was a wee lad, Marcus Scribner

Always keeps a positive attitude because he knows what it feels like to feel low and he doesn’t want anybody else in the world to feel like that so he wants to uplift and if he can try to be someone’s happiness he’ll gladly be that— which isn’t always the right move, he learned

Listens to: Rotimi, Shaggy, Sean Paul, Skip Marley, H.E.R., Jhene Aiko, Jorja Smith, UMI, The Kooks, The Killers, Cold War kids, Milky chance, Blood Orange, The 1975, Vampire Weekend, Bad Suns, BRYSON TILLER, Kilo Kish, & Ella Eyre (although he misses her old music)

Celeb crushes? Cardi B is his mfkin celeb wife okay?! Nobody else comes above her! He also thinks FKA twigs is pretty & super talented, sevdaliza!, Tia & Tamera, Iman, and brandy from the 90s makes him swoon

Anthem = jaden, “Boys and Girls”

[popculturebuffet]

Darkwing Duck Reviews: Tiff of the Titans

Uh-Oh, Gizmoduck Comes to town! In the first of a series of reviews building up to Just Us Justice Ducks,  the dopey, arrogant, anti-charasmatic, national embarrassment heads to St. Canard to guard a super weapon from F.O.W.L. Naturally, he ends up being more of a problem for our hero than the actual bad guys. Also a look at Tad Stone’s claims the series isn’t in the same universe as Ducktales.  Full review and recap commissioned by @weirdkev27​ under the cut

This review, much like Death, Taxes and Thanos, was inevitable. I’d been planning to watch and review the first appearances of each of the justice ducks and fearsome five as my next step in watching Darkwing duck anyway, and while I’ve already got one member’s appearance in the wings anyway, I’ll get to that tomorrow or Saturday just in time for Halloween, hint hint, Kev pushed this one into the queue with a commission and I  was happy to take the side trip to see just what the Darkwing version of Gizmoduck and Steelbeak, two of my favorites in the reboot, were like originally. So welcome folks to the build to the greatest superhero team made up of ducks of all time, let’s get quackin. 

We open, here in Duckburg, where the Eggmen are breaking in. Sadly they do not have the master plan, but they are here to steel the Comarant, a super powerful land, sea and air device the military is storing there. They instead find Gizmoduck! Who makes a good first impression, being a hoaky superman parody in iron man’s costume in this continuity, but it’s a nice way to contrast to Darkwing’s batman parody with a touch of Sandman.. the pulp one not the neil gaiman one.  Sadly he doesn’t have a cool gas mask but the Darkwing Duck costume is iconic without it. 

Point is the eggmen are easily repelled, though they do get away by blasting Gizmo with a tank. The General in charge is thankful for Gizmoduck’s help, but notes the Comarant will be heading to St. Canard soon for a demonstration at the big air show, and asks that Giz go over and protect it, maybe even work with Darkwing to protect it. Though Gizmo shoots that down, and not only insults Darkwing but says he’s not sure if he’s good or bad. While the latter comment did sour me on the guy.. research bears out Darkwing has been framed once or twice, and my own experience with the pilot saw him you know breaking out of jail and basically clamming superheroes are above the law, so I COULD get why someone wouldn’t trust him, even if Giz’s attitude about it still isn’t great. So fenton quick changes behind a sign and heads off to see his old buddy Launchpad.  A quick aside before we get going this episode doesn’t so much torch Tad Stone’s retroactive claim this isn’t the same universe as Ducktales, as burn it to ashes, take a whiz on those ashes and send each separate ash on a seperate probe to the farthest reaches of space. This episode not only has a cameo by Scrooge on a billboard.. but it’s one for DUCKBURG. Where Gizmoduck is said to be from. He also knows launchpad well, and vice versa, and outright mentions McDuck Manor. the episode couldn’t be saying “this is the same universe as ducktales’ harder if Scrooge himself showed up and started ranting about a Sea Monster eating his ice cream. I do like and respect Tad Stones, but I will never like or respect this claim of his and even if HE had that idea in his head during production of the show, it’s very clear everyone else including Disney who greenlit the Darkwing Duck comics explicitly connecting the two universes, felt it was a shared universe, and there’s really no reason they can’t coexist. 

If it’s because “Well launchpad wouldn’t leave scrooge”.. besides the fact Scrooge tried to fire him MULTIPLE times, it’s not farfetched Scrooge would put him in charge of a hangar both because he trusts him.. and to get rid of him since he doesn’t like Launchpad very much. Plus Donald has to come back from his tour of duty sometime and likely could easily do Launchpad’s job as pilot, as he did in the source material. My point is there’s tons of ways to write the man out easily, and he could just as easily be doing both jobs like in the reboot. This feels like a weird, unnecessary retcon no one wanted and everyone just politely ignores, like the creators of Doug saying he and Patti didn’t end up together after High School. Which even then makes more sense than this claim, since at least there I get the creators not thinking a high school romance would last forever. That’s fair.. it’s just not something fans really wanted to hear after spending two separate series and a movie getting them together. It would be like if Girl Meets World had revealed Cory and Topanga had divorced. Yes it’d be possible since they’d broken up twice over the course of the series, but no one wanted that, why would you do that. I’m getting off topic, the point is a few breakups aside Doug and Patti clearly married eventually, and Darkwing Duck and Ducktales are in the same universe. Sometimes you just have to ignore Word of God for your own sanity.

Back at the actual episode we cut to Steelbeak’s Bowling Alley Hideout... and I do love a job that allows me to say things like that. But in a really fantastic bit Steelbeak is bowling his minions over as punishment for failure.. even though they have a valid reason but eh he’s the bad guy and he has to get his bowling average up for FOWL’s bowling team somehow. Their insurance covers evil punishment related accidents anyways, they’ll be fine. 

But yeah let’s talk about Steelbeak for a second. I honestly hadn’t seen any of the original version so I was curious.. and he’s really damn awesome. Rob Paulsen always does a great job though and is always a pleasure, but he really does a good job here and with the contrast in him: He’d seem like a dumb thug, what with his gangster accent and general cockiness and swagger.. but he backs it up with great combat and even greater planning. He’s a schemer, a fighter and damn if he isn’t fun to watch.  It also makes me love the reboot version even more. While I already loved him for being played by Jason Mantzokus, being enjoyably dim, while also still enough of a threat to be freaking cool, it’s even cooler knowing he’s still fundamentally the same character. Much like Drake he’s simply been tweaked a bit. For drake it was softening the edges since Ducktales isn’t as broad a show, and neither will the darkwing reboot i’m betting, so his ego and selfishness is sanded down considerably. For Steelbeak it’s giving him an actual origin: Instead of starting at the top of FOWL, he’s starting as a very competent but very wet behind the ears and full of himself agent, working his way up to becoming justifably full of himself like the original show. He has the same swagger and badassery, he’s just not a master planner yet and he’ll get there. Like many of the reboot characters, he’s simply an already great character given some extra depth and rounding out. I love both and can’t wait to see him again next ep and hopefully he’ll show up in the Darkwing reboot so they can go for round 2. 

So with that out of the way, Darkwing naturally interrupts, and cleans house with his gas gun, forcing Steelbeak and his crew to literally go underground into the sewers. This successfully fools drake, and Steelbeak bemoans how both Darkwing and Gizmoduck have been thwarting his plans.. until he gets a great idea; pit them against each other so he can pilfer the comerant while their too busy fighting. It’s a classic supervillain tactic, and one that works perfectly because one of them’s an egotist and a dick and the other is also that but with more style and likeability.  Back at Drake’s place, Gosalyn and Honker are watching a horror movie they clearly aren’t supposed to till Drake and launchpad come back in via their easy chairs flipping them in from Darkwing Tower which is just.. really cool. I like it. I also like that much like the Shakespeare bust in Wayne Manor, Darkwing has his own neat statue to provide acess to his lair... a tiny bronze statue of Basil from the Great Mouse Detective.. I REALLY need to fucking watch that film but it’s a nice nod. But yeah Launchpad brought them back because he feels drake could use a break while Drake refuses to stop because crime never stops and he doesn’t have time for it and your usual self destructive bollocks. It’s interrupted by a knock at the door? 

It’s Fenton! Whose stopped in to see his old buddy launchpad, who is happy to see his old friend and the two catch up, though Drake dosen’t like the interuption because Classic Drake is kind of a grumpus. Fenton naturally is here because Gizmoduck is but says he’s doing a job for the military.. which makes no sense but given Drake doesn’t know what he does and Launchpad dares to be stupid, if not nearly as stupid as his reboot version, no one questions it. When Fenton says he needs to find a hotel Launchpad, being Launchpad, invites him to stay and while Fenton watches the movie with the kids, Drake wants him gone because you know he has a secret identity to keep and a case to work on and they don’t know if they can trust him with it. It’s fair.. but since this is Drake he almost handles it with the subtly of a howitzer. But before he can try to literally throw Fenton out on his ass, a news report comes on about an attack at a local theater and both head off to take care of it.. we also get a nice moment where both react to it with the same words at the same time.  Fenton.. is actually really likeable. He’s a bit awkward, more in that he sort of barges in and makes himself comfy.. but it’s very easy to see from this and the one Ducktales episode of his i’ve seen where the utterly marvelous reboot version gets some traits from: his nervousness, his pluckness, his lack of thinking things through ocasionally when he’s not overthinking them. Fenton is charming. The issue is once he switches on the costume he goes from utterly charming to punchable REALLL quick. I’ll explain my problems with his alter ego in a sec. 

At the theater Steelbeak fakes it to look like Darkwing’s doing the bombing, if half haphazardly and leaves Darkwing with the bomb so when Gizmo shows up he thinks he’s responsible. Darkwing naturally says it wasn’t him, but Gizmo dosen’t buy it and asks if he’s so good how come he wears a mask... says the guy in a helmeted visor’s whose only defense when that’s pointed out is it came with the suit. Which yes is a joke.. but it fails to land and instead of being funny just makes Gizmo look like a hypocritical dick whose assuming someone is evil based on flimsy evidence, and what’s very obviously a setup. it makes him come off as the biggest dumbass alive instead of this world’s superman and that is annoying. More ranting about him in a minute. We do end up getting an incredibly funny bit where the two end up arguing over who gets to defuse a bomb, with both wrestling over it till Gizmoduck takes care of it and both fall into the theater. Gizmoduck tries to arrest Darkwing who ignores him and runs off.  The next day the Mallard family, including Honker naturally, watches Gizmoduck get a parade, a key to the city and other good stuff on the news while Drake sulks before turning it off. And yeah i’ve waited long enough let’s talk about this version of Gizmoduck and why he does not work. I get in theory he’s supposed to be “The Cape”, minus the cape: The big cheese that everyone looks up to and loves to Darkwing’s  dark avenger of the night, a parody of that whose also really dumb. The issue is two fold. The first is .. the classic archtypical cape type chracter has been parodied to hell and back by 2020. He’s been a monster, an asshole and as with here an idiot. And even for then a superman parody, if not in apperance or powers but in treatment, whose really dumb wasn’t very new. 

And you CAN parody a big silver age type hero: Justice League International did so well without being too overt, having most of the team either annoyed or actively hostile to Shazam/Captain Marvel. But it was done well there because well.. billy’s a very corny very earnest and likeable kid in an adult’s body. To us he’s charming and loveable. But to a bunch of actual adults he’d be offputting at best and annoying at worst. While some have been annoyed at how he was handled, I a fan of both JLI and Shazam liked it and thought it was an interesting take. Another REALLY good and REALLY hilarious take on this is from fellow superhero action comedy Danny Phantom, one of my favorites and one I need to revisit. One episode had Danny split himself in two so he could crimefight and have fun with his friends resulting in one self whose a burnt out slacker, and another whose an over the top crimefighter who says things like “you Felonious fiend!” And “This looks like a job for the vacuum cleaner!”. It’s a damn good episode. My point is it’s been better done before and since. 

What doesn’t help is the episode tries to paint it as equal, since Darkwing’s problem in part is Gizmoduck stealing his thunder.. but it doesn’t work. Darkwing is a fully fleshed out character we know and love who despite his huge ego and rampant jackassery, is a decent person whose fought hard for St. Canard, loves his daughter and most damingly... is entertainingly sickish. Gizmoduck’s dickery just makes him come off less likeable and incredibly dense, while Darkwing’s is part of his charm and, along with his ego, has backfired enough to balance it out. Gizmo just doesn’t get comeuppance for his behavior, and instead gets rewarded with a parade, a key to the city, cheerleaders and Gosalyn looking up to him just for having powers in his gadgets. And really his methods aren’t that different from dark wing: While Darkwing is secretive, a loner and uses gadgets.. Gizmoduck’s suit is basically one BIG gadget, and he refuses to see. And I get that’s probably the joke but it just. doesn’t. LAND. It just makes him insufferable. And as far as I can tell in the original show he wasn’t: he was an awkward dork we root for like in the reboot, not a gloryhogging jackass whose squandered his good will long before he gets Darkwing isn’t evil and tries working with him to the point I don’t care by the time that happens: He’s already been so obnoxious it dosen’t make up for it. Maybe later appearances are better but he’s just a chore to watch in costume here. And that’s WITHOUT comparing him to the 2017 version, one of my favorites there, one of the best animated superheroes i’ve seen in a long time, and a toughly likeable character who struggles due to his superhero identity but took it up for exactly the right reasons and wants to help people. Darkwing Gizmoduck thinks he’s the cape and an inspiration when a good guy when he’s worse than the guy he hates at times. Reboot Gizmo is an honest, decent guy who simply wants to help people and use the gizmotech as a way to do that, to help change the world for the better and save the helpless, and only clashes with Darkwing due to his ego and lack of understanding that Gizmoduck and him really aren’t that different. Finally if THIS is why Tad Stones wants them to be different universes, because this Fenton is different from the Ducktales one in personality.. then that’s on HIM. That’s on him for writing this version poorly or letting him get written so poorly and not on the fans who had no reason not to connect a dot. God this character was disappointing and hopefully when I watch more of him at work in Ducktales, he isn’t this obnoxious, nor will he hopefully be in his sequel episodes.  Thankfully moving on Darkwing gets to work, because you know he has experience, and finds Steelbeak trying to pilfer the cormorant but Captain Clueless interrupts and tries to arrest him. The two then finally fight and while it’s sadly short, it’s a fun clash and I genuinely hope the reboot has it’s own fight with them, as given how damn good they are at fight scenes, it’s bound to be even more awesome. But Steelbeak gets away, and uses the comarant’s secret weapon.. a giant fake egg that drops a giant pile of yolk to drown them. Gizmo finally realizes he’s been fighting the wrong guy but our hero's are now running out of time. Darkwing , being the actually capable one here, has Gizmo uses his propeller to beat the eggs and the two head off.. though after a funny bit where Gizmo breaks the Ratcatcher’s sidecar Darkwing lets him use his spare tier, which is huge and likely intended for the main vehicle. Good stuff.  The two get after Steelbeak and while Gizmo makes me pray for death but death won’t come we get a fun battle with Steelbeak including Steelbeak using his beak to bite down and destroy the gas gun. It’s a damn fun bit I must say. But eventually the good guys win, disable the comarant and Darkwing beats Steelbeak. The day is save, FOWL is foiled, our heroes are on shaky but better terms, and Drake and Fenton depart on good if equally shaky terms, before arguing about which of them is better. And we’re out.  Final Thoughts: This.. was a disappointingly mixed bag. Gizmoduck REALLY drug down what was otherwise a good episode with a great concept: Bringing in a hero whose stronger and more popular than Darkwing.. but mostly uses it to make Darkwing look good, which he didn’t need, and make Gizmoduck look REALLY bad, intentionally or otherwise. Steelbeak is a delight and his plan, and the egg trap, are really good, and as mentioned there are enough good set pieces to prevent this from being a terrible episode.. but as an old friend says for me time and time again...

[mikkock]

Hey hi your murder mystery art is super totally cool and amazing and I'd like to Extra! Extra! hear all about it *rattles bells*

haha wow i cant believe ud ask me THIS! unbelievable! now im gonna have to make a long post!

all info under the cut cause im kind like that ♥

For reasons I felt like making a Fancy Ass murder mystery story, with you know, hella complex secret storylines and everyone having drama and shit, and one person died but the more the story goes the less people care about who did the murder and the more they want tHE JUICY DETAILs. X and Y had an afFAIR you say!!! well that’s thousands time more interesting than that murder that happened, who cares about the culprit its not like any of us are going anywhere anyway! tell me more about the marital issues!

The ultimate Vibes are Clue (the game, ya kno, it had a movie too, and that movie was shot with three different endings -fun fact- so that movie theatres could play one alternatively that way people wouldnt get spoiled or even if they did they would not get the ending they were spoiled or even if all three were spoiled you couldnt know which ending you were getting anyway, big dick move, cause its an old movie and film is expensive, also that movie stupid and campy, ALSO I ONLY LEARNED MAKING THIS AU THAT IN ENGLISH THE GAME’S CALLED “CLUE” wE CALL IT CLUEDO therefore my wip playlist is called cluedo. because. fuck it.)(i just have an emotional attachment to that game i even had a cd rom video game version and it was the spookiest shit for a 6 years old, trust me, i played it so much tho i didnt even understand the rULES i was just making scenarios like gathering the characters in rooms n making conversations outloud cause honestly the banter is the best part of a murder mystery) ANYWAY that sure is a whole paragraph of tangent. 

BUT YE the inspo from the Clue game. you can tell it from the Colours obviously, everyone’s colour codded.(even everyone’s name is colours as well you’ll see it’s real dang fancy! im just remaking that game but with 2932020 characters and more behind the scenes drama and also for gay people.)

So BASIC PLOT!

Sir Belyy, the dude in white, is The Rich Powerful Respected Fancy Boss, and he throws a Fancy Reception Party with his closest friends and associates to celebrate the opening of a new branch of his business. All the lads gather in his wonderful little very isolated mansion in the middle of nowhere, like ok he got a death wish or something or he’s very trusting of his business partners, but not a good move, cause in the middle of the reception, as A Phat Storm Starts (for plot convenience, we going with a campy vibe if you couldnt tell), his body is found, it’s awful, there’s a killer on the loose! All the guests gather, and attempt to maybe contact the authorities, to not avail, since The Storm ya know, phone lines are Broken my dude. Its clear that the culprit is among them, since no one could have entered the house, or left it (cuz once again, ThE sTORm). And then it’s all about interrogating each other, distrust, alliances and betrayal, revealing one’s deepest secrets when they form an alibi and revealing someone else’s deepest secret for they could be a motive! Meanwhile there’s a dead body in the mansion just chillin there. 

.

So as I mentioned, I changed everyone’s name to be colour related (or ya know, food or flowers of that colour cause sometimes a colour in a language would not work as a name given the way names work in that culture all that jazz) which is the trippiest thing cause tHATS NOT YALLS USUAL NAMES but its fun (also changed so many ages hgfhs it was a trip)(still no one’s really old i guess i got boomerphobia). The “Cast” is clearly the most important part, and if ur a True “My OCs” Connaisseur (hdfghd the most useful skill to have, knowing *MY* Charactersdshgd) you may have recognised some faces and can already read some vibes and predict who will be progressing the plot and who will be yelling at people throwing accusations ghdfgd.

(god i wish i hadnt slacked off making the portraits of everyone in that AU i only have 3 tho that’s so sad so ill just make little sketches just cause <3 only text??? i got too many hoes with no attention span for that)

.

Sir BELYY (the one who dIEs lmao)

(bust shot missing the fact that this man is the tallest beefiest lad around)

Intimidating, powerful, composed, wealthy, carries the name of a family who has generations of control to it’s reputation, he’s The Man that hoes who believe in the economy wishes they were. As in, the “self made” man who only just happened to benefit from having a wealthy background to uplift his plans. In his youth, he wanted to prove his worth, seperated himself from his father, started a business, that business became big, then got attached to the family’s business, bam back to square one but with Reputation now. There seemed to be VERY big tension between him and The Father, some speculate it had to do with his unknown mother, and some family drama there, and it never got resolved as old man Belyy died quite young (the jUICY speculations are that current sir Belyy mURDEREd old man sir Belyy, fucked up if true!). People love him though in general, as he has that reputation of “Cold Lad With a Gold Heart” aka he takes people under his wings, donates, doesnt treat his employees like the absolute worst garbage etc... you know, he’s rich and a half decent person, so obviously he’s an angel on earth. But does it matter though, he’s dead! that’s the concept of the story!  

Mr.GRAY (the grey guest)(who could have guessed from the name)

He’s one of Sir Belyy’s oldest employees, and benefits from a high rank in the company. But, sadly for him, he’s been stagnating lately, as newer, youngest employees seem to have Belyy’s favours, and are his prefered associates for important tasks and positions. Therefore he has Some Bitterness, Some Salt, Some Distaste, some unbriddled but professionally muted hatred for Specific people in the company. He can be an antagonistic figure, but the amount of time he spent in Belyy’s circle grants him an immense quantity of information about the man, but mostly, about his business. Anything about the company’s history, dealings, operations, he’s aware of, either having been told of them, or having snooped around to obtain, immune to being questioned due to his legitimacy in the company.

Mr.LIM (the green guest)

Remember when it was said that Gray had beef with some employees cause they were younger and rose to high ranks faster than him and became Belyy’s favourite over him? Yeah well here comes the one he hates the most for that (ofc he’s belyys fave cuz he’s Mine <3) Our lad caught Belyy’s attention for his Exploits in like, em fancy high school tournaments of smart people, it’s a thing its ridiculous, making kids compete on Smart stuff for the pride of their schools n shit, well homie Lim got clout when doing that, and Belyy was extremely interested cause that kid’s main thing was how “this young lad got mad strategic skills tf are u a war general or smth how fancy”, and that’s a coveted skill for ruthless business. So as soon as the kid is an adult, bam, join the company my dude. And because he’s just that Cool n Sexy ofc he met the expectations Belyy had, and old man Belyy got attached cuz it do be such a young lad, a kid, mentally i am adopting. That’s how you get a youngas employee becoming the right hand man of one the phatest CEO in a few years, and even make your way into being a Good Lad on top of a business partner. And that’s how you get Gray to hate your ass too. Now though, fine lad with mad strategic skills, rising to power that fast, and even infiltrating Belyy’s private life? If I were Gray I’d call suspicion there’s surely some shady stuff going no way we’re just dealing with a nice fella who just happens to work good and be friendly to the boss right?

Herra MUSTA (the black “guest”)

Belyy’s newest butler, assistant, house keeper, he multitasks. His family has been tied to Belyy’s for generations, fullfilling roles of help, but also of confidents. He’s been the head butler since only a short time, after his mother passed, and as such is still “in training” you could say, despite having served the family his whole life. There are rumours going around that the contract tying his family to the Belyys may end on his generation and need to be resigned. He known the manor by heart, and carries all keys to any locked room (and mostly, The Master Key, cause in an old house, some doors may be locked beyond all still existing keys). He also knows secrets of the family that no one else knows, but good luck getting em out of him, he’s under contract not to divulge em bro.

Mr. HASSEL (the brown guest)

Belyy’s childhood friend. They grew up together, pictured their dreams together, sworn to flourish together, worked together when starting the company, and then Hassel felt he should create his own thing instead of depending on his friend’s existing wealth, and while Belyy’s business went wild, his never took off. They still stayed very close, despite the massive difference in wealth. Belyy considers him his closest friend, the one person he can trust (fucked if hassel did the murder lemme tell u). So of course, he’s still always invited to the Prestigious meet ups where’s he’s free to feel uncomfortably out of place amongst all the rich and powerful people that he could have been a part of had he had a tiny bit of luck and a small loan from a wealthy relative...People LOVE saying he’s still hanging out with Belyy so much to leech off his wealth, cause of course they do! His bestie status means he has a whole different brand of information of Belyy than his butler does, the Most Intimate Stuff, the Childhood Stuff. The Juicy stuff ya kno...But Bro Code, its all secrets...

Sir RUZH (the red “guest”)

Deep dive into Belyy’s personnal history, the man has many employees working at his house keeping it working, clean, ya know the vibe. They live on the premice, one has a kid who’s just a Joy to be around, all the employees just vibe with that lad, he’s just a born socialite you know? Belyy gets to meet the kid, and also hella vibes with him. And because human are influenced by their feelings, he gives the kid’s mum a bit of a preferencial treatment, in the tasks she fullfils and all, til he gives her an important-as mission, and then there’s an accident n mama dies, and now Belyy got guilt and there’s this kid who just Vibes. So naturally the move is to take the kid in, and play on how his vibes are just so clean, and raise him to be the Perfect Entertainer for guests, bam, its soft power propaganda, if everyone loves your now son’s vibes, they associate them with you too. And also that’s kind of a clean rep, the selfless man who adopted his employee’s son to not have him fall to the streets, how heartwarming. Not at all traumatising for the kid too I bet! But anyway now the lad is just the most charming young adult, mission accomplished. He’s always present at any reception, ready to work his people-pleasing magic, and then going back to a gigantic empty manor to wait for the next and curate the perfect vibes to meet the expectations of dad. On the plus side, he knows everyone, and those who don’t know him cannot wAIT to, he’s just got that aura ya know. People skills for miles, and the insider knowledge that comes with being the son of the CEO, all this hidden behind the personna of the fresh innocent bashful party lad. 

Dr.FEN (the pink guest)

Do not get mistaken by the title, he’s no doc, he will not diagnose you with anything, he just studied long enough to get the sexy title. Study in what? Haha. Nothing shady. Just toxicology. He’s a world reknown poison expert basically, that’s his main thing. Oh but don’t worry, of course studying substances that may kill people is only for finding out how to cure them from it of course. What brings him in this circle? Simple, Belyy may or may not have started to suffer some weird illness that no doctor has been able to find the source, let alone cure, of. Him and Dr.Fen had met previously on some event, cause some rich man also love flexing how smart they are and attending sciencey shit, and he was contacted as sort of a shot in the dark. The lad does know how to treat some things, maybe he can treat The Mysterious Unwellness, since no traditional doctor was able to. He knows science, he’s trustworthy, bam, you’re hired to work on My Case Exclusively. Thanks to this, Dr.Fen has access to the whole health history of Belyy and his family, to many mANY dangerous substances, and also has The Respect of the hoes at the party. He HAS a doctorate after all. Epitome of knowledge. And he’s a kind to people and he wears pink like dang how can you nOT pour your wHOLE trust in him. 

Sir MOREVITCH (the blue guest)

Youngest son of an affluent family, who used to be close the the Belyys. The two families fell slightly appart after the death of the previous head of the family on the Belyy side, as they do nOT vibe with the current one (well current, til the first night of the story ig). But, unbeknownst to all, one strong link had been kept, between the youngest of the Morevitch, who dislikes his family and wishes to emancipate himself from them while also assuring his depart will not throw him basically in the streets, and our beloved Sir Belyy, who also dislikes the Morevitches but loves to see the rebellious energy of the young one (and ya know, my enemy’s enemy’s my friend or however you say that). So Belyy’s basically offering tips and helping Morevitch plant himself safely out of his family’s grasp, but it’s all taking quite some time isn’t it, slow and steady is fine until your parents try to arrange a wedding to secure more political power, and suddenly it is all quite urgent that you escape that situation because No Thank You Parents I Do Not Want A Wife I’m Too Young And Also Huh <3 Stuff You Won’t Like Hearing For Sure <3. The people who know they’re working together also know that it’s a big point of argument between them, the difference in vision between “you have to go slow and steady to be safe” and “I have very limited time to get to that safety anyway so I gotta risk it” “hell no you cant i can’t follow through if we’re going that quick that’ll put me at risk and you’re family’s gonna send gunmen to take me down”. A mess, it’d be much quicker to just obtain a few million bucks out of nowhere and bolt for sure...

Mr.GANG (the orange guest)

Morevitch’s trusted assistant. He hears the concerns, he helps the secret businesses, he lies to the parents about the whereabouts, and mostly, he’s basically a budget spy. The lad got that talent where people just don’t notice him popping behind them and catching all their dirty laundry as they confess it to someone they trust, and he always manages to break into places, get the intel he was looking for, and escape, putting everything back into place as if no one was ever there (wonder where he got all those skills from damn!). But what he’s even better at is being sneaky not only to benefit his boss, but himself as well <3. If he can catch all the info in the world, go any places, nothing’s stopping him from playing double agent and also going behind Morevitch’s back. After all the assistant life isn’t the most glamourous and rewarding, who can blame him from going and using his talents to build his own little exit route, right? Everybody sort of knows he cannot be trusted, but also no one managed to really incriminate or stop him, and as much as he has tea on many people, no has it on him, but bet once found that would be heeeella juicy.

M.MOUTARDE (the yellow guest)(this one is straight up the name of the yellow player in the french edition of clue too when i say its my main vibe)

Moutarde was an influential celebrity. He had a big break acting in a movie that the whole country stanned so hard they basically turned the script into their national anthem (they would have if it was a true democracy where the people really decide), he was so handsome and elegant, everyone’s dream husband. And then the fame fiddled out because it’s how fame is, one moment you’re the sexiest dish on the table and the next someone brings in dessert and baam, its all about that fresh cake, and no one pays any mind to your delightful aroma anymore, you’ve gone cold, they had a bite, their interest is somewhere else. Belyy really admires his work though, and mostly finds his image fits with the brand of his company, therefore the two are working on a collaboration to make Moutarde a representative. This WOULD boost Moutarde’s reputation, for his ads would be displayed on every imaginable surface of the country, and it would also benefit the company cause being represented by thAT sexy motherfucker? clearly that’s a deal. The freshness of the partnership means Moutarde is a newcomer in the guests, a fresh face, with no reputation, no relationships, no unfair biases against him. He’s just the new handsome charismatic lad with a squeaky clean image. Emphasis on “image”. After all, no one really knows anything of his background, right?

Kun.LAWENDER (the purple guest)

Private investigator, very useful to be around at a party it’s almost like it was expected there’d be a body to investigate, he’s a very close associate of Belyy, as there’s nothing more important to business than investigating the rivals and finding dirt on them to make them fall through infamy. He’s not exactly the PI who goes look for justice to be served, he’s just here for cash bro. He’s got intel on everyone, and will only let it out if offered the right thing in return (money, or sometimes other pieces of very secret intel, trade is good). Wouldn’t advise letting him and Gang team up tbh but they probably wouldnt, as Lawender is really more of a lone wolf player, going on his own for himself. The one thing that negates his usefulness as a PI on an accidental crime of scene is that even if he knew the whole truth of the event he would not spit it out unless he benefitted from saying it. He sure is a polarising lad, but at the same time, an untouchable one, he’s too knowledgeable to be taken down. Rather than sneaky, he’s extremely observant, noticing the tiniest details and engraving them in his memory, ready to be linked up to other details to deduct the big picture. He’s the upfront tea gathered basically (as opposed to Gang’s shadow tea gathering if you will, they are similar forces but using opposite methods)(also one of em got a licence n the other does not hAH).

~~~~

Now the secrets, all of em have them. One of em at least got the secret of having KILLED Belyy that’s that. But that’s to be kept for later (for if i ever use this story for more than daydream material gfhjgh) bet you can imagine what some of em may be just out of Knowing what i do, from having seen the characters in other contexts, or just because you’re a genius and reading the character profiles immediatly lit up the bulbs in your head forming the perfect theory, props to you, mad genius.

Honestly my thoughts are just how lit of a game that would be, you get to pick one hoe (maybe sum are locked til u find their secrets for juicy purposes) and you do your invetigation using your character’s perks and disadvantages, and maybe there could even be Multiple scenarios and outcomes, to spice it up, give replay value, i just think it’d be a game id spend hours on. tryin to get the spicy details of everyone’s life. walking around n digging through a rich man’s stuff, witnessing the drAMA of people fighting cause they’re locked in with a murderer and that’s stressful ngl. That or a long ass show @ netflix wanna give me a show maybe? give me hella budget we’re making it animated cause im too cultured for live action. 

whatever i make of it though, i hope i can make this story Flourish, just so that i can lay down all those secret backstories i’ve written. i want the satisfaction of throwing out the craziest secret drama between character n seeing peeps loose their minds, it just is a tasty experience.

also i gotta say, i plug the hell out of Clue for an inspo but when i was building the basics of the story my mind immediatly went “oH MY GOD THE VIBES,, THE BACKSTABBING AND tEAMING UP and all,,, its The Genius, that one tv show where peeps have to do the wildest games that require strategy n they’re in that fancy set that looks like a rich ppl mansion oh god the vibes” so yeah, i rewatched the whole first two seasons cause they’re my faves and that had an impact if only minimal in the aesthetic.

Anyway hope that quick presentation gave you a lil taste of the story, and maybe,,,, got you curious,,, craving to learn more like you never did before (im exaggerating the only real question we all got is just “so who’s fuckin with whom then how many of yall secretly dating” this the real deal)

[noellcfms]

chicago’s very own noelle washington has been spotted on madison avenue driving a mclaren 720s , welcome ! your resemblance to normani kordei is unreal . according to tmz , you just had your twenty-fourth birthday bash  . your chance of surviving new york is uncertain because you’re deceitful, but being benevolent might help you . i think being a gemini explains that .  3 things that would paint  a better picture of you would be sunset picnics , fruit smoothies , and the smell of vanilla . ( cis female + she/her ) +  (  elle , 20 , she/her , cst )

my name is elle! i was here like a month ago then i left to vibe and clear my brain but i’m back and better than ever! this is my absolute BABIE noelle, most of you will remember her, and those who don’t i am so sorry this fake bitch has to enter your life, enough about me let’s talk about noelle!

* --- biography

noelle washington was born into an extremely strict Christian family, the middle child of three children. her family did everything by the bible. her dad was an extremely famous tv preacher, and her mom was a lawyer turned preacher’s wife. perfect family dynamic, no gimmicks, just wholesome family love.

her and her siblings went to church everyday, noelle grew up believing the things that her family told her.

family was very fervent in their beliefs and noelle kinda just had to stick behind them because they were family? ya know?

noelle grew up with her housewife mother! who was constantly cooking and cleaning and taking care of household tasks, so noelle followed in her footsteps

she developed a love for cooking and baking, and it became a passion to her. her parents were proud! they raised such a positive child

but she wanted more, she had bigger aspirations than being good at cooking for somebody else one day

middle child vibes are your parents forgetting that you even go to gymnastics in the first place, but that’s what she did! and she was great!

but her parents wanted her to focus on the cooking thing so she did, went on chopped junior and she won!!!! would later go on to win an actual episode of chopped but that’s different tea

ANYWAYS from that her family was offered a reality tv show because wow what wholesome family activities! and their children are so talented!! wait noelle who again? yeah she was...ignored per usual love that for her

she continued to practice gymnastics and she was heckin good at it i’m proud of my bb, she went on to by the youngest female to win three gold medals a talented queen i know

her family finally wanted to put her on their show because she was bringing in views everyone wanted to know how she was so well behaved and obedient and performed on the level that she did

she was a really good student! was valedictorian, student council president, and a bunch of other extracurriculars that would make her family proud of her

honestly she was jus tryna get into a good college ngl...as far away from her family as she could get

BUT THE WORLD DEMANDED NOELLE and so her family delivered for her, finally she graduated and phew she couldn’t wait to get as far away as possible from them

she ended up going to Stanford for...law....and although her family could pay her way and she was offered a full ride...she didn’t want to have to depend on her family for anything SIS DIDN’T EVEN WANT TO CALL HOME

she went to Stanford and worked a normal job...and everyone was so shocked! to see Noelle Washington working a normal job and being you know a fucking human but despite the gawking she continued to do so

she graduated college with her law degree and as valedictorian so she was like cool i appeased my parents time to move back...and she moved back!

she was like ‘guys i don’t wanna be a lawyer i wanna...open a bakery’ and so she did

you can catch her there literally anytime in the morning because she might own the place but she also you know works there because it’s hers....fun times!

she’s just began releasing her music! and her vc is normani

but this america’s sweetheart bitch has a secret

everything i told you was the truth! but i mean one version of the truth here’s the side of noelle nobody gets to see

* --- second biography?

noelle’s family seemed perfect one the outside but her father was a serial cheater, and her mother was a borderline alcoholic

they didn’t love her or her siblings so they often all fell to the wayside unless it was maintaining appearances in public, then it was all smiles, and how they lived by the word, a bunch of bs

noelle stopped believing in what her family force fed her early on...but she kept that shit to herself

the cooking and cleaning and literally every other responsibility fell upon noelle and her siblings, she sorta despised her parents, but still craved their validation, it was a really messed up cycle

all of her achievements are true tho! she got valedictorian, student council president, youngest person to win three gold medals, etc etc

her family really did get their own reality tv show, and put on extreme appearances for the cameras...and noelle was pushed to the wayside because middle child vibes again

she did go to Stanford for law...but let’s get into the main portion of her double life

she didn’t work a normal job! she wasn’t a waitress or a cook or even a dishwasher nope she did none of that shit

she became a stripper! but she couldn’t show everyone her face obviously...so she developed a plan!

she would go on stage in a really extravagant masquerade mask...like to the point where nothing was recognizable but her eyes

and that shit worked! she was a hit! an icon! people loved her...she made mad bank

well one day an agent approached her and was like...do you want to do porn? and this extra ass bitch said more money? hell yeah

the one condition she did have was obviously she kept the mask, but she could change it during scenes, like different colors and shit love that for her

it was amazing that this bitch managed to graduate with all the hours that she was pulling...lowkey would be proud when annoying frat boys that called her a ‘prude’ would talk about how much they wanted to fuck her

ANYWAYS she took her work with her when she moved back to new york mostly her work in the adult entertainment industry...but she continues to do porn and that’s where a big majority of her money comes from

that’s her secret lmaoooo she hasn’t told her family or even her friends because you know appearances

so when she’s not at the bakery during the day she’s usually filming a scene...and when she’s not around at night she’s stripping

* --- personality

PUBLIC LIFE

extremely sweet

literally doesn’t have a mean bone in her body...but not nice to the point where anyone’s suspicious...just nice enough to teeter that line a little bit

fun loving young girl, or at least she tries to be, she tends to let her emotions get the best of her tbh, but despite that she’s gentle and kind and would never hurt a fly if she could help it

she always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, believing the best in everyone and always looking for the good, you could tell her a million and one bad things about someone and she’d still only care about the one positive aspect

noelle has the biggest heart, and often thinks she’s mislabeled as naive, although in reality she truly is and is often easily lead on

not gonna lie, noelle apologizes for just about everything, even if it isn’t her fault, bam there’s another apology coming out of her mouth

she’s sorta of the mom friend in a way? like she can barely take care of herself, but she literally tries to take care of every single person there is to ever exist

is resilient and to this day there isn’t a problem that she hasn’t overcome, even if she did have a little help from alcoholic beverages

lowkey a hopeless romantic??? like she’s the kind of girl who falls in love with strangers, or sees people in coffee shops and then envisions their wedding, she’s hopeless

SECRET LIFE

extremely outspoken

will fight for what she wants deadass she’ll punch you don’t play with her she doesn’t take shit from anybody

extremely comfortable with herself and her body and just embraces who she is i love that for her

she talks mad shit ngl but she’ll back that up with a punch dw

judgmental but like lowkey not about your looks or clothes or anything but she will talk about how you act and carry yourself since that’s important to her

ngl lowkey has this whole ass superiority complex

hella sociable, she loves meeting new people

sexual!1!1!1!

if you can’t tell she do be having anger issues

* --- wanted connections

don’t feel limited by this list, italics means i’m open to more than one

best friend / ride or die

roommates

basically her son

bad influences around each other

pr romance

little brother

step siblings / ex step siblings

pals

childhood & high school friends

awkward situation

frenemies

bad terms

FIRST LOVE THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED HER

big heartbreak ex-fiance OR alternatively an annulled vegas marriage

will they ? have they ?

exes, on bad terms

exes, on good terms

skinny love

high school sweetheart

friends with benefits

one night stand

industry friends

* --- second biography?

noelle’s family seemed perfect one the outside but her father was a serial cheater, and her mother was a borderline alcoholic

they didn’t love her or her siblings so they often all fell to the wayside unless it was maintaining appearances in public, then it was all smiles, and how they lived by the word, a bunch of bs

noelle stopped believing in what her family force fed her early on...but she kept that shit to herself

the cooking and cleaning and literally every other responsibility fell upon noelle and her siblings, she sorta despised her parents, but still craved their validation, it was a really messed up cycle

all of her achievements are true tho! she got valedictorian, student council president, youngest person to win three gold medals, etc etc

her family really did get their own reality tv show, and put on extreme appearances for the cameras...and noelle was pushed to the wayside because middle child vibes again

she did go to Stanford for law...but let’s get into the main portion of her double life

she didn’t work a normal job! she wasn’t a waitress or a cook or even a dishwasher nope she did none of that shit

she became a stripper! but she couldn’t show everyone her face obviously...so she developed a plan!

she would go on stage in a really extravagant masquerade mask...like to the point where nothing was recognizable but her eyes

and that shit worked! she was a hit! an icon! people loved her...she made mad bank

well one day an agent approached her and was like...do you want to do porn? and this extra ass bitch said more money? hell yeah

the one condition she did have was obviously she kept the mask, but she could change it during scenes, like different colors and shit love that for her

it was amazing that this bitch managed to graduate with all the hours that she was pulling...lowkey would be proud when annoying frat boys that called her a ‘prude’ would talk about how much they wanted to fuck her

ANYWAYS she took her work with her when she moved back to new york mostly her work in the adult entertainment industry...but she continues to strip and that’s where a big majority of her money comes from

that’s her secret lmaoooo she hasn’t told her family or even her friends because you know appearances

so when she’s not at the bakery during the day she’s usually filming a scene...and when she’s not around at night she’s stripping

* --- personality

PUBLIC LIFE

extremely sweet

literally doesn’t have a mean bone in her body...but not nice to the point where anyone’s suspicious...just nice enough to teeter that line a little bit

fun loving young girl, or at least she tries to be, she tends to let her emotions get the best of her tbh, but despite that she’s gentle and kind and would never hurt a fly if she could help it

she always gives everyone the benefit of the doubt, believing the best in everyone and always looking for the good, you could tell her a million and one bad things about someone and she’d still only care about the one positive aspect

noelle has the biggest heart, and often thinks she’s mislabeled as naive, although in reality she truly is and is often easily lead on

not gonna lie, noelle apologizes for just about everything, even if it isn’t her fault, bam there’s another apology coming out of her mouth

she’s sorta of the mom friend in a way? like she can barely take care of herself, but she literally tries to take care of every single person there is to ever exist

is resilient and to this day there isn’t a problem that she hasn’t overcome, even if she did have a little help from alcoholic beverages

lowkey a hopeless romantic??? like she’s the kind of girl who falls in love with strangers, or sees people in coffee shops and then envisions their wedding, she’s hopeless

SECRET LIFE

extremely outspoken

will fight for what she wants deadass she’ll punch you don’t play with her she doesn’t take shit from anybody

extremely comfortable with herself and her body and just embraces who she is i love that for her

she talks mad shit ngl but she’ll back that up with a punch dw

judgmental but like lowkey not about your looks or clothes or anything but she will talk about how you act and carry yourself since that’s important to her

ngl lowkey has this whole ass superiority complex

hella sociable, she loves meeting new people

sexual!1!1!1!

if you can’t tell she do be having anger issues

* --- headcanons

...i’m gonna update this as soon as possible but i wanna plot already soooooooo

* --- wanted connections

don’t feel limited by this list, italics means i’m open to more than one

best friend / ride or die

roommates

basically her son

bad influences around each other

pr romance

little brother

step siblings / ex step siblings

pals

childhood & high school friends

awkward situation

frenemies

bad terms

FIRST LOVE THAT ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED HER

big heartbreak ex-fiance OR alternatively an annulled vegas marriage

will they ? have they ?

exes, on bad terms

exes, on good terms

skinny love

high school sweetheart

friends with benefits

one night stand

industry friends

[avaantares]

FFVII:REMAKE - A Review

So I beat the game two weeks ago and started writing down my thoughts while they were fresh in my mind, but I didn’t post anything then because my one IRL friend who is also playing it hadn’t finished it yet and I didn’t want to risk posting anything spoiler-y. But the extra time has allowed me to play through the game again on Hard difficulty, which has allowed me to reconsider and elaborate on some of my thoughts. And frankly at this point I just need to dump my Very Big Opinions somewhere, so... here ya go.

I discuss visuals, gameplay, character and story below. I’ve tried to keep spoilers minimal up front, though obviously if you want to go into the game totally cold, don’t read this. All major spoilers are clearly tagged. All of it is below a cut to spare your dash.

Also, there are pretty pictures, because why not?

First, my background with this franchise: I played through the original FFVII multiple times; I’ve watched and rewatched Advent Children and Last Order, played Crisis Core, gave up on Dirge of Cerberus despite my deep love for Vincent Valentine (sorry, VV, but your game was just a mess), and lamented that Before Crisis wasn’t available in my country. I even played (and own!) Ehrgeiz, the obscure fighting game that featured the main cast. (Still bitter that they didn’t keep Miki Shinichirou as the voice of Sephiroth. He’s one of my faves.)

^ Ehrgeiz, a mediocre fighting game that forever endeared itself to me by including Turks!Vincent Valentine as a playable character. 💖

In short, I’ve been waiting for this game for DECADES.

So. Here we go. My thoughts on Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE.

The good:

The character models are very pretty. With individual pores, threads and scuffs visible, they’re so detailed that it’s almost impossible to reconcile them with the mouthless sprites from the original game – even more so than Advent Children (and dear goodness, that was over a decade ago now, wasn’t it?). Still, they’ve kept the costume details and absurd proportions largely intact (Barret’s fists are literally larger than Tifa’s entire head, yet somehow it works visually), so it’s not too much of a departure from the familiar.

They’ve kept the aesthetic. I was afraid the game would try to update the iconic world of Midgar, but by and large, it’s full of visually-arresting designs that preserve the gritty-industrial look and feel of the original.

Japanese version is included. BLESS YOU, Square Enix, for including the Japanese voices and character animations. Not only is it impossible for me to hear Cloud in anything other than Sakurai Takahiro’s voice, but the Japanese script is a bit nicer to the characters. I’m not really keen on the English dub… but more on that below.

They fixed the spelling of Aerith’s name. This may seem like a minor point, but considering it’s been 20 years and I’m still bitter that Devil May Cry still hasn’t corrected “Nelo Angelo,” it’s a small victory.

Improved combat. Admittedly, I wasn’t sold on the new combat system at first, but after playing through the game twice, I’ve come to really like it. It has a few rough edges and can get chaotic in some battles, but it does a decent job of blending the feel of an action game with turn-based strategy. The fact that you can switch to a more traditional turn-based system if you prefer is also nice. (I haven’t tried Classic mode yet, though.)

Weapon customization. The Skill Points system allows you to upgrade your loadout instead of acquiring new gear. The tutorial was somewhat lacking (I didn’t quite figure out the multiple-core-unlock thing right away), but I appreciated the ability to add materia slots or stat buffs rather than just cycling through a dozen swords that Cloud apparently keeps in his back pocket.

Background dialogue management. On the whole, the conversations as you run through town enhance the story without slogging down the gameplay; you don’t have to stop and talk to every single resident, because snatches of their conversation reach you (and your on-screen chatlog) as you pass. You can stop and listen for more detail if you want, or you can just keep moving. The extra worldbuilding is really nice.

The music. The orchestrated versions of the original themes are excellent (and some of those music cues gave me goosebumps… Did I spend way too many hours immersed in the original game? Probably). I can take or leave some of the collectible jukebox tunes, but the background music in general is good. (But did I earn that Disc Jockey trophy? Yes, yes I did.)

Supporting character development. Jessie, Biggs and Wedge actually have characters! And personalities! Clichéd ones, admittedly, but it’s an improvement over the original game killing them all off within the first few minutes. The game also does justice to the Turks, and actually surprised me with how much depth of character it gave Reno and Rude in particular (perhaps setting them up for a mini redemption arc so players forgive them for dropping a plate on tens of thousands of slum residents?). Their moments of concern for each other and (brief) crises of conscience made them more than the stock villains they were in the original game, more in line with their temporarily good-aligned characters in Advent Children. Tseng, likewise, was on point. However, I do have to qualify all this with one irate question: Where the heck is Elena?! Seems like the female characters are always getting left out… /sigh/

Improved plot devices. REMAKE cleans up some of the more questionable and outdated content from the original. As you likely already know from the demo, the new game somewhat exonerates the protagonists by having Shinra blow up their own mako reactor to turn public opinion against AVALANCHE (possibly because someone finally realized that it’s hard to sympathize with characters who are willing to melt down an entire reactor and kill a bunch of innocent civilians). AVALANCHE are still eco-terrorists, but they’re… terrorists with a conscience? I dunno, at least they feel bad when people die now… Likewise, the weird and uncomfortable Honey Bee Inn segment of the original game has been reborn as an amazing dance extravaganza. Less voyeurism/prostitution, more Vegas floor show (complete with minigame choreography) and makeover. The whole Don Corneo scenario is still hella creepy, but frankly, there’s nothing that can fix that.

Series references. Fans of the original will appreciate all the inside jokes and direct references to the original game and other franchise entries: One-off comments about Chocobo racing; a broken console in Wall Market that shoots at you; a framed picture of the original 32-bit Seventh Heaven; ads for Banora apple juice; side mentions of characters and plot devices from spinoff games; PHS communication… The game definitely pays tribute to its history. They even recreate the original loading screen and several of Cloud’s iconic poses/animations throughout the game:

The neutral:

Recycled gags. Look, I know Advent Children was the ultimate evolution of FFVII for a while, and admittedly, it did some things very well. The running gag with Rude’s sunglasses and the victory fanfare being used as a ringtone are some of the best moments in the film, in part because they were so unexpected. But as much as I enjoyed the repeated nods to AC in this game, they felt a little desperate, like there were no new jokes to insert so they had to double down on the ones they’d used the last time this franchise had a renaissance. (See Rude’s broken sunglasses, below.) And fitting into the series as a whole, it feels a little weird. Why is Rude’s ringtone the same as the clones’ from Advent Children? Does Barret really need to sing the victory fanfare over and over when he defeats an enemy? Is there supposed to be some history behind that song that was left out of the worldbuilding? It just feels too meta.

Arbitrary localization of names. I don’t really grasp why it was necessary to rename so many items and characters for the English market. Some changes make sense for localization (e.g. Whack-a-Box certainly works better for an American audience than Crash Box), but others seem arbitrary, like changing Aniyan Kunyan to Andrea Rhodea or Mugi to Oates (a play on the meaning of his name in Japanese, but... does it matter?). And then… well, I don’t want to spoil A Major Plot Element, but there’s another thing that changes names from one English word (in the Japanese track) to a different English word. Why? No idea. It doesn’t affect gameplay, and it’s not really a problem, but listening to the Japanese track, I found it jarring to have the subtitles contradict what I was hearing.

Underutilized characters. While the whole gamut of original FFVII characters make appearances, several of them aren’t used to full effect, or aren’t used at all to advance the story. Rufus Shinra’s bossfight is a decent challenge, but while his character was vital to both the original FFVII and Advent Children, his presence in this game is little more than a cameo. His fight could be cut or swapped out with any other boss, and it would have zero effect on the plot. Similarly, while Hojo is a key player in the full story (which this game doesn’t cover, since it’s only a fraction of the original timeline), he’s largely wasted here, except as a means of extending play time by making you wander through corridors and fight a bunch of monsters for “research.” (I have no idea what his motivation is; you’d think he’d be more interested in recapturing Aerith or Cloud, but instead he just... opens an elevator and lets them leave? after they beat up some midbosses.) Reeve Tuesti actually has a solid presence in this game, but since he’s ONLY ever active as himself, there’s no explanation for the random Cait Sith cameo in one scene (players new to the franchise probably have no idea why a random cartoon cat showed up for a few seconds and was never mentioned again). Obviously the plot arcs have to change when the game is covering only a few days’ time in a much longer story, and the major players need to be introduced at some point if they’re going to feature in later games in the series, but from a narrative standpoint, there are an awful lot of superfluous characters doing things for no reason in this installment.

The bad:

THE PADDING. Dear goodness, there is so much padding to make this a standalone game instead of just the first chapter of a longer adventure. I got really, really sick of running literally from one end of the map to the other on side quests – and that’s me, an avowed trophy hunter who spends hours scouring dark corners for collectible items in other games, saying that. So much of this game felt like time fill that didn’t really advance the story. It’s also full of unnecessary new characters with improbable Squeenix hair, like Roche the super-annoying motorcycle SOLDIER (below), or Leslie, Don Corneo’s doorman who somehow merits his own backstory and side quest. (Though in fairness, every FFVII sequel has added superfluous characters, with Crisis Core possibly being the worst offender.) But it just felt really drawn-out and bloated for a game of this generation. If this game had been as compact and tightly-written as the other games I typically play, it probably only would have taken me 15 hours to beat instead of 50. (I don’t actually know how many hours I spent on it the first time through, as I didn’t check the play clock before restarting on Hard difficulty. I do know it took me over 110 hours total to complete the game on both modes, though much of the second run was spent dying repeatedly on a handful of nasty fights. Hard mode removes items and MP replenishment, and if you run out of MP at any point during a chapter, you’re going to die. A lot.)

The pacing. Related to the above... the Midgar portion of the original game was just the setup for a larger story. It wasn’t meant to have its own complete dramatic arc so much as to introduce you to the world and the major players. Consequently, there are some really odd beats in this story, as well as a total lack of urgency in your mission. There are no natural places to slot in the side quests and minigames, so they’re shoehorned awkwardly between plot sequences. “Quick, our friend is in mortal peril and needs our help!” "Okay, cool, we’ll go rescue her after we spend ten hours running around town doing random errands for townspeople and playing games with the local kids.” Uh... what?

The graphics just aren’t as good as they should be. While the character models are gorgeous, there are a lot of low-res background textures and weird polygons that don’t quite match up with other components. Most egregious are the Shinra logos, which frequently get close-ups as part of the fixed camera work and, frankly, look like lossy JPEGs. (See image below, screencapped from a PS4 Pro. Those jagged edges on the logo are present throughout the entire game.) There are weird clipping errors and artifacted images and reflective surfaces that don’t reflect, making the game look more like something from the PS3 era than a 4K late-gen PS4 game. (And it’s not that we don’t have the technology: Uncharted 4 was released back in 2016, and the rendering of its vast world was twice as pretty. Devil May Cry 5, released in early 2019, has far more realistic textures and object interaction. Granted, those are different types of games with fewer NPCs to render, but I feel like there’s no excuse for a game this big to look this mediocre.)

The HUD could be better. The lower-corners concept is okay, though it took me a while to train my eyes to travel between both sides of the screen and track the fight action. But for a long time, I didn’t even notice the commands in the upper left corner of the screen, and after playing through the game twice I still have no idea what they say because I couldn’t focus on the tiny text long enough to read them while trying not to die in combat. (I just looked it up; apparently they’re combat control shortcuts? Huh, that would have been useful to know.) It wasn’t until my second time through that I realized there even WERE separate controls on screen during the motorcycle minigames; I had resorted to panicked button mashing to figure it out the first time through because there was no tutorial (you’re just dropped into the action) and, having ignored the small text for the previous hundred combats, I had no reason to look for on-screen instructions there. Not that it would have helped, since on many backgrounds the text in the upper left is really difficult to read (see below). It’s worth noting that I have better than 20/20 vision and played this game on a large TV screen and still had trouble reading some things; on a smaller TV, or for someone with less acute vision (like my sister, who is blind in one eye), I think even the basic menu controls would be difficult to see. While you can resize the font for subtitles, my cursory glance through the menu did not uncover an option to increase the size of the HUD. 

Inter-fight menu mechanics. Specifically, the inability to save (or save loadout settings) between fights in a multi-part sequence. There are several back-to-back fights in which it is necessary to switch characters or change gear between bosses. The game treats them as one continuous fight, though it does allows you to access the equipment menu by holding square during key cutscenes. Which is good, if you only have one of a particular materia or accessory that you need to switch between characters, and in most cases when you die the game lets you restart just before your current fight instead of restarting the whole sequence -- also good, since some multi-stage bosses can easily take 20-30 minutes to beat, and if several of those are strung together in sequence, you’re in for a long play session to get past them. But since it’s treated as one fight, you can’t save between bosses (more than once, I had to leave my PS4 running in Rest Mode overnight and just hoped we didn’t have a power glitch), and if you happen to get killed and need to restart the fight, your loadouts reset. Which means if you’re, say, fighting the end boss on Hard difficulty and get killed in the first two minutes -- which happened to me a lot -- by the time you restart the fight, sit through the unskippable cutscene, access the menu and rearrange all the materia and accessories you need, you’re spending five or six minutes gearing up for two minutes of play, and then doing that over and over again every time you die. It gets really old.

The English dub script. *deep breath* Okay, look, I know I can be a bit elitist about translations, but I really do not like the English adaptation of this game. It makes Cloud come across as less socially-awkward and far more of a deliberate jerk, Aerith is mouthy and even swears (which is not accurate to her original character), and it downplays some of the symbolism that’s more obvious in the Japanese script. One quick example: When Aerith gives Cloud a flower, she says (in Japanese), “In the language of flowers, this means ‘reunion.’” It’s subbed/dubbed in English, “Lovers used to give these when they were reunited.” That’s a subtle difference, but since the concept of “reunion” is a freakin’ huge part of the FFVII plot, and since Sephiroth was on screen literally seconds before that line is delivered, my brain automatically went, “OMG REUNION!!!” while I’m guessing people listening in English only picked up on the romantic subtext. It’s a pretty minor thing, and of course translation is always a complex balancing act between literal meaning and local market understanding, but the English version just seemed to me to have a different vibe overall. (Unfortunately, the English subtitles are the same as the dub, so unless you can understand the Japanese audio you’re kind of stuck with that dialogue.)

-

-

[WARNING: SPOILERS BELOW THIS POINT]

-

- …And my #1 complaint about Final Fantasy VII: REMAKE is…

…it’s not actually a remake.

Sure, the game starts out the same way and covers a lot of the same events, but fundamentally, it’s a sequel, not a retelling. It’s evident from Cloud’s future-oriented visions throughout the game that something else is going on, and the ending MAKES NO SENSE if you don’t already know the story. Heck, even the rest of the game doesn’t really make sense if you don’t know the story -- Sephiroth’s presence is never explained; Zack isn’t even introduced, just shows up randomly at the end; Cloud’s flashbacks of Tifa and her dead father in Nibelheim are left as a complete mystery (and since she evidently remembers the burning of her town, judging by her dialogue outside Aerith’s house, why doesn’t she even react when Sephiroth shows up?).

The core elements of the plot – the Feelers (Whispers) preserving a specific fate; the three entities from the future (whose weapon types just happen to correspond to certain named characters) defending their timeline; the return of post-Advent Children Sephiroth (the only time we’ve seen him in human form with one black wing), who has inhabited the Lifestream since his death and promised that he would never truly disappear, who in the end appeals to Cloud directly for an alliance rather than attempting to control him, because he knows now that Cloud is strong enough to defy the Reunion instinct; the change in the outcome of story events in which Biggs (and, unconfirmed as to which timeline he’s actually in, but quite possibly Zack) now survives his intended death -- all point toward Sephiroth trying to manipulate destiny into an alternate outcome in which he is victorious, and using this naive version of Cloud to facilitate it. That means this game is taking place in an alternate or splinter universe, created at some point after the events of the original Final Fantasy VII, and possibly even after the events of Advent Children.

All of that is fine from an overall continuing-story perspective – it opens up a lot of interesting possibilities, like the fact that Aerith might survive now that Cloud has seen prescient flashes of her death (among other events), and there are opportunities for more story twists and changes from what players might expect. But touting this as a remake of the original game has the potential to confuse players who are new to the franchise. FFVII was groundbreaking back in 1997, and it defined JRPGs for an entire generation of Western gamers. But that was more than two decades ago, and a lot of current gamers weren’t even born then, so while they’ve probably heard of the classic game, they aren’t necessarily steeped in its lore. FFVII:R relies heavily on prior knowledge of the series to carry its twist ending, so it largely fails as a standalone game.

Also, speaking as a longtime fan of the franchise… I honestly found the ending rather lackluster. It was a twist, of sorts, but not the sort of shocking, mind-bending revelation that made the first game so iconic. Granted, it’s hard to follow an act like revealing that your protagonist’s entire identity is a lie, not to mention killing off one of your main characters a third of the way into the story! But when the surprise ending is just, Surprise! We’re going to change things up a bit this time around so you aren’t entirely sure what’s coming! Also, here’s a gratuitous Sephiroth fight because everyone expects that, even though it doesn’t serve the main story at all nor resolve any conflicts previously established within this game! it smacks of Different for the sake of Being Different, not for the sake of a really amazing storyline they’re hiding up their sleeve. It’s a bit of a let-down, and I find that I... just... don’t really care that much. Which, for someone who’s been a fan of the series for nearly a quarter of a century, means there’s a Big Freaking Problem somewhere. If you’re not keeping the attention of your die-hard fans, how do you hope to build a fanbase of players new to the franchise?

Given the pacing and story issues inherent in this game, I’m not convinced that the following game(s) in the franchise are going to be structured any better. Considering the amount of pure side-quest padding they did in Midgar, I have no idea how they’ll maintain that same tone on something the scale of the World Map portion of the original game, unless they just completely eliminate things like Fort Condor and the submarine and the spaceship side quests. I have a feeling the Gold Saucer is going to be reduced to a Jessie flashback, a Chocobo race (probably to win a key item), and a battle arena run like the coliseum in Wall Market in this game. If they include all the story elements and side characters from the original, this series is going to be a dozen games long.

Still, on the whole this game was enjoyable, and I’m glad I played it. It wasn’t as good as I’d hoped, but they haven’t completely killed off my interest, so I’ll probably continue with the series whenever the next game comes out. Though I’m not really sure if the higher-priced edition I pre-ordered was worth the extra money, so I may wait and see how the next game is shaping up before deciding which version to get...

But if they don’t give me a really pretty (playable) Vincent Valentine in the next installment, I may riot. I do have priorities.

[izzy-b-hands]

Cold As The Grave

Written for my DL Server bingo card prompt: Cool Cat. 

I cannot recall the interview this was in for the life of me, but I do recall at least one mentioning John not finding horror movies scary at all. 

Going off of that, we have here scary movie night, aka scary movie night for Roger, Freddie, and Brian, and comedy movie night for John (while the other three look on both in horror at the movies and at John laughing his ass off at the creepiest and most gory scenes, utterly cool and unbothered by all of it.) Set in a modern AU because then I can reference as many of the movies I’ve seen myself as possible lol. 

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

“This is great,” John chuckled, and tossed more popcorn into his mouth. “You know, I learned how they make the fake blood look that thick. I should show you guys sometime.” 

He continued eating and watching, apparently not feeling the three pairs of eyes no longer glued to the screen, but staring in horror at him instead. 

Roger and Brian jabbed him at once, and Freddie jumped. “Ah. Right. You could show us that, sometime. Or not, I mean, we’re often busy-” 

“Very busy,” Roger added.

“Horribly,” Brian nodded. 

“Look!” John cheered. “Look at what the rats are doing! The effects are fantastic in this!” 

“This is disgusting,” Roger hissed, gesturing to the scene from Sinister 2 playing out on the TV. “How is he still eating?!” 

“I could really go for pizza,” John continued. “Meat lovers and a vegetarian for Bri?” 

Brian swallowed hard as he watched the scene continue. “Sure. Yeah. Because I can eat while we watch things like this.” 

“Of course, yeah,” Freddie agreed, letting out a heavy held breath as John got up to go order the pizza. “How long has he been like this? How did we not notice?” 

“Should we call his mum,” Roger proposed. “To find out if she knows about this, and if so, how has she dealt with it?” 

“We don’t have enough time for that,” Brian replied. “I can’t eat while we watch this. My stomach isn’t the weakest, but this is...god, and he wants to start the Saw movies after this. Guys, I can’t.” 

“No, he actually has the Human Caterpillar movies on the list next, the Saw films are after that,” Freddie said with a wince. “Maybe he won’t notice if we aren’t eating?” 

“It’s on the way!” John announced happily as he bounced back in and onto the couch. “You lot okay? Awfully pale, all of you. Don’t tell me you’re scared!” 

“It is a horror movie,” Roger said defensively. “Most people do get scared of those. Most people. Lots of people, even. Sort of the idea behind them.” 

“You’re all silly,” John laughed. “This isn’t that bad.” 

“I’m sorry, what movies do you consider ‘bad’ then?” Brian asked. “I’m curious and terrified to know.” 

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” John teased, and started back in on the popcorn. 

Freddie laughed nervously. “Actually, darling, we would! Care to share with us, or...” 

But John was back into the movie, laughing at the next horrific act on the screen. “You ever think about what you’d do, if you were in that situation? I like to think I’d handle it better.” 

“Do I ever think,” Brian said slowly. “About what I would do if a version of the Boogeyman was real. And had a curse. And was going to try and convince any children I might have to kill me, and film the results. No. No I have not.” 

“Okay,” John said, and gestured to the DVD case holding the first Human Caterpillar movie. “What about that? If we got kidnapped, all of us, on tour-” 

Roger covered his eyes, and groaned. 

Freddie’s eyes were wide. “Have...have you thought about that?” 

“It’s all in good fun,” John giggled, then jumped at the sound of the doorbell. “Oh! Scared me, they got here fast!” 

Freddie leaned forward, head in his hands as John got up to go retrieve the pizza. “I’m. This was supposed to be a fun movie night. I’m learning too much about him. About all of us. And I love you all, you’re brothers to me, but there’s a limit in what I can learn in one night, and I think I just found it.” 

“I need a hug,” Roger said miserably, hanging onto Freddie’s arm as he gave him an awkward half-hug. “Thank you.” 

“Maybe he’ll just watch them now,” Brian said. “He’ll be busy eating, then full, then comfy and warm. Might even fall asleep.” 

“And if he keeps laughing at this shit like some demon from foulest hell?!” Roger hissed. 

“Then we accept he’s lightly possessed and move on with our lives, Roger!” Brian said sharply. “I don’t know what else we do if he keeps that up; I’m busy trying to figure out how he finds any of it funny!” 

“There’s got to be one of these that scares him,” Freddie said, shuffling through the DVD cases and pondering the list of streamed movies they’d made up. “We’ll spend all night watching if we must. We’re going to find one that scares him, one that doesn’t make him act like-” 

“Pizza for the scaredy cats!” John smiled as he set the pizza boxes down on the coffee table. “If you lot can manage to eat any.” 

“We can,” Roger scoffed, but he actively looked away from the TV as he picked up a slice. “See? Perfectly fine, and not feeling sick at all.” 

“Okay,” John giggled. “If you say so.” 

“Let me know when I can look back,” Roger whispered to Freddie as he ate as quickly as possible. 

“You mean when the movie is over?” Freddie whispered back. 

“Essentially, yeah,” Roger replied. 

---

Four hours later, they had yet to succeed in their task.

He’d giggled his way through the Human Caterpillar movies. 

Cackled through the Saw pictures, and started in on how he’d make his own horrible pain maze, if he was forced to create one. 

Hereditary and Midsommar? He was enraptured. 

“Okay,” Freddie sighed. “This one says it’s also a comedy. Can we try that?” 

John slipped the disc for The Cabin in the Woods into the player. “Don’t think I ever actually got around to watching this one. Why not?” 

It was silly. Schlocky, at bits even. But it was a dream for the three of them; a break from overwhelming scares and gore in exchange for a more acceptable level of those things, in addition to a chance to laugh. 

John, however, was tense. 

“You alright?” Freddie asked about midway through the movie. 

John nodded, but didn’t speak. He’d stopped nibbling at the leftover pizza, his remaining popcorn left in the bowl and set on the floor. 

“The effects are good in this,” Roger tried a bit later. “Right? I mean, it’s gory, but even we can handle it. Pretty silly of us, huh, Deaky?” 

John didn’t look away from the screen. 

“Um. So, who do you think we’d all be, if it was us, in that?” Brian asked with a gentle smile. “And who would be the fifth person to join us?” 

“Well, none of us can be the virgin,” Freddie giggled. “Right, Deaky?” 

“Rather not think about it,” John replied tersely. 

They looked at each other and frowned. 

“Okay,” Freddie said. “You’re sure you’re alright?” 

“I’m fine,” John said. “Just don’t like thinking about something like this happening to us, I guess.” 

“But you were okay with the plot of the Human Caterpillar happening to us?!” Roger squawked. 

“Not okay with it, just thought it was an interesting thing to consider,” John said. “We’d escape and be fine, obviously.” 

“And we wouldn’t escape this, you don’t think?” Freddie asked gently. 

“Look at it!” John scoffed as the final scene rolled. “They didn’t! And they potentially could have had at least one of them escape, maybe! I couldn’t...” 

He hesitated. “I couldn’t hurt any of you to save my own hide.” 

“We wouldn’t be able to hurt you either,” Brian said. “You know that!” 

“Yeah!” Roger added. “We’d all go down together instead, in a blaze of fire!” 

“Really?” John asked softly. 

“Or in a blaze of us terrified, shitting ourselves,” Roger shrugged. “One of those two for sure though.” 

“No other spots on the spectrum we could occupy, just violence or absolute terror?” Freddie asked. 

“Maybe, but I’m tired, this is the best analysis I can do for now,” Roger yawned. 

“We should sleep,” Brian agreed. “I’m exhausted, somehow. Thought I’d be too scared to sleep, all things considered.” 

Freddie nodded and tilted his head towards John. “You coming in with us?” 

“I...I’m good. Might stay up yet. Just because,” John shifted uncomfortably on the couch. 

“Are...you’re scared,” Roger said gently. “Aww, Deaky.” 

“Shut up!” 

“I knew there had to be one that would get you,” Freddie said. “Didn’t expect it to be this one, if I’m honest. We’ll stay out here with you, how about that?” 

“You don’t need to do that,” John muttered. “I’m not a child.” 

“Who said you were?” Brian asked. “I’m staying out here because frankly, that stupid Boogeyman thing pops up in my vision every time I close my eyes, and I hate that.” 

Roger nodded. “I’m now horrified of Germany, thanks to that Caterpillar movie. Going to have nightmares of...well. You know. Better to stay out here, with you lot.” 

“And that fucking demon thing from Insidious?” Freddie added. “I hate it. And now I do have the odd feeling it’s somehow going to watch me while I sleep. So it would be nice to not be alone tonight, if possible.” 

“I don’t believe you,” John said, but he smiled as he spoke. “Fine. We’ll push the couch back and set up on the floor?” 

“Exactly,” Freddie said. “That way when we do have nightmares, we can promptly kick each other awake during them.” 

John seemed happier as he helped clean the living room up, and walked off to retrieve extra blankets and pillows. 

Freddie waited a beat before whispering. “Were you lot really going to go into your own rooms? There was no way I could have; I don’t know how I’ll sleep as it is!” 

“I was trying to look tough in front of him,” Brian muttered. “That was stupid. I didn’t need to do that. I really do hate that fucking Bagul or whatever the fuck it is-” 

“Jump scare at the end of that one was the best, wasn’t it?” Roger grinned.

“How dare you make me remember that,” Brian sighed. “But better that then...well. Your nightmares are going to be a lot worse than mine, I think.” 

“Let’s not make it a competition,” Freddie murmured. “It’s nearly five in the morning, and...fuck.” 

“You just remembered we rented the studio space out starting at eight, didn’t you?” John said as he walked back in and dropped the blankets onto the floor. “I thought it was weird you guys agreed to this on the night before a day in the studio! But you just all forgot, didn’t you?” 

Three shameful nods were all they could manage in response as they finished settling in, all of the lights off, snuggled together. 

John, for his part, seemed far less scared than he had been before, now that they were all piled in the same makeshift bed. He snored gently; it might be a decent three or so hours of sleep for him. 

If the rest of them had their eyes glued to checking the time on their phones as said three hours passed, jumping at each noise in the shared flat...

John didn’t need to know about that. No one, frankly, needed to know about that. Not him, nor the studio techs that would likely be raising brows at the bags under their eyes. 

That was their secret, and a reminder to better plan the next horror movie night, well in advance of any studio time. 

[marymccartneyphotos]

Mary: Queen of Shots

Mandarin Oriential Issue 14; 2010

From her landscapes to portraits, Mary McCartney’s natural talent shines through. Here she tells MO Editor Zoë Manzi what it’s like to be the photographer behind Mandarin Oriental’s Fan Campaign

You were a picture editor before you started taking photographs. Is that right?

Yes, I didn’t really know what to do after I left school, but I knew I was interested in photography, so I got a job at a music book company as a picture researcher. It was nice because I went to all the picture libraries as well as meeting certain photographers who had taken photos of specific bands, and got to look at their archives. So that was interesting and it kind of set me thinking. But still, even then, I didn’t think I could be a professional photographer.

Was it the technical side…?

It was the technical side and, I don’t know, it just didn’t seem like a proper job to me at that point. You know, it was a nice thing to do as a hobby, but I couldn’t do it as a career. Then I got my first job. That was for Frank magazine. Stella [McCartney, her sister] had just started her first big design job at Chloé, and I was asked to go to Paris and do a diary and photograph her first collection.

That was an inspired commission…

It was really good fun because I got to spend time with Stella and I learned a lot about how a collection is put together just by being there, snapping fittings and going out with everyone at night. You know, it clicked with me because it’s what I like to do within my photography: meet people and get into their world and see what they’re doing. You get to find out what goes on behind the scenes. It made me appreciate how much work goes into designing, how much time it takes, and how much dedication it requires. I decided to do a course to learn the mechanics of the camera and that gave me more confidence. From then on, it was just about taking pictures, finding my style and the kind of work I wanted to do.

Did you develop an eye for taking pictures, or was it instinctual?

I think I had that already, but rather than developing an eye it’s about having confidence in my ability and style. Everyone’s different, but with my first paid commission, for example, I would hire loads of equipment and do things I wouldn’t usually do, but I was like, ‘I’m being paid, I’ve got to be professional and organised.’ But I wouldn’t be so happy with the photos because they weren’t my kind of pictures – I was over-compensating. So now I don’t do that. I know what I want to get and if people book me, it’s because they want something that is my style. What I do has probably taken me this long to achieve. You know, some people know instantly what they want to do – for me, it just took longer.

And how did your working relationship with Mandarin Oriental Hotel Group come about?

It was a dream job, really. I got a phone call from my agent saying that Mandarin Oriental’s ad agency wanted me to come in for a ‘chemistry’ meeting, which was really funny but actually makes a lot of sense. I went to Hong Kong to meet the Chief Executive. What was great about Mandarin Oriental was that they wanted me to go to different hotels to get a feel for the brand. At first I thought that was a bit odd – why do they want me to? But it worked well because it made me respect them and understand what it is they’re doing, and to experience the friendliness of the staff… There’s a certain style which I probably wouldn’t have appreciated if I hadn’t gone to several of the hotels.

Do you have a favourite Mandarin Oriental hotel so far?

I love Mandarin Oriental, New York. I love coming out and having that view of Central Park but, then, I’d like to revisit Mandarin Oriental, Bangkok. I was only there for one night and I was on my own. I had a butler and didn’t get to utilise the service properly, so I’d like to go back and experience butler service! And the room was practically bigger than my flat at the time, so I didn’t fully get to be fabulous during that stay.

What was it like following in the footsteps of the late Patrick Lichfield [Mandarin Oriental Hotel Group’s first photographer of Fans]?

It was a little bit daunting because he was such an established photographer, but we have similarities in that he also liked to make his subjects quite relaxed. I thought it was good of Mandarin Oriental to pick a female photographer because it gives a different slant and a slightly different feel. Of course, it was very sad, but nice because he had a great relationship with Mandarin Oriental and that made me feel encouraged. He was with them for years and obviously was a big fan, so it made me more relaxed going in. I didn’t feel defensive. I knew that they respect their photographers and there’s a long-term collaboration.

So, how do you go about working on a Campaign with a new Fan?

First, I look at the person and do some research. Then I work directly with them because it needs to be something personal and I want them to be relaxed. Obviously, the whole Campaign is based around it being a place or an image that encapsulates the Fan but, also, I’m quite aware that it’s one image on a page: so how do we get something that will stop you on the page as you’re flicking through? With [singer] Sa Dingding, I tried to think a bit more about movement and materials and we’ve done a really nice shot which is quite fresh. She’s very dynamic, so I’ve tried to capture that. What was great about her was that she started off very reserved. She was dressed in traditional Tibetan materials – covered in fabrics – and as she was getting undressed there were all these different layers coming off and getting more and more funky, like, little beetle-patterned leggings and hearts. She’s an interesting character and she moves well. I wanted to do something with material, to get that Eastern feel. Sa Dingding really liked to perform in front of the camera and Hélène Grimaud, who we just did in Switzerland, was quite different, but she has an amazing smile and a beautiful face. Hélène is a classical pianist, so we did a nice, classic piano shot, which I tried to mess up a bit by having flowers on the piano rather than in a vase, and sheet music spread around a bit. Then I did another one, which is more clean. Hélène isn’t so naturally comfortable in front of the camera. The challenge was to make her relax and enjoy the shoot. And I think she did. I reassured her that ‘wardrobe’ meant we bring clothes and use the sitter’s clothes as well. The aim of the Campaign is that it’s about that person, it’s not a whole new makeover. It has to be something that they would wear, like Liam Neeson wore his own suit. But we’ll take some extra bits and bobs that they may even want to take home, so we try to add to their own look. It’s quite fun. If I were having my picture taken, I’d quite like someone to give me some clothes to try on!

So you might do two different versions…

We do two versions, one is more classic and one to take the sitter out of their comfort zone. The photography needs to progress visually because it isn’t a new photographer each time, so I need to push the boundaries a little bit more. It still has to be quite chic and clean for Mandarin Oriental, and I understand that.

And what goes on behind the scenes at the Fan shoots?

[Laughs] Do you want the real story? Well, I generally work with quite a small team. There are two ways I like to work: if it’s a production, I usually have a digital operator and an assistant and a producer. Otherwise, it’s me and a camera and a bag of film.

So you shoot on film?

I don’t shoot the Campaign on film any more because I like to get the edit down with the sitter, which is possible on screen, and I’ve got a great digital operator who does the calibration and, really, I did an exhibition last year and one of the pictures was digital and you couldn’t actually see the difference. I was like, ‘Pick which one in the room was digital,’ and no one could pick it out. I still love film because the quality of it and the depth of field is quite different, but when digital is done properly and is of a high quality, it’s pretty amazing. I like them both for different things.

Do the Fans give feedback during the shoot?

I do get feedback from them on the day. Generally, they won’t say they don’t want to do something: I would have prediscussed it with them, so they won’t get into that situation. For something like the Mandarin Oriental shoot, I’ll get the sitter to come over and I’ll do an edit, and I’ll show them and say this is the way I’m going… Then if there’s something they hate, because everyone’s got something they hate about themselves – ‘I don’t like my face at that angle’, for example – then I’ll try and work to make them feel comfortable and to get something I’m happy with. So it’s a real collaboration.

Does the travel element enhance or complicate matters?

It’s quite fun. We’re going to China to take pictures of Harry Connick Jr and it’s a bit of an unknown quantity. I can plan the shoot as much as I can, but when I get out there the whole plan will probably change. But I quite like that.

Do you shoot in the hotels?

This time we’re shooting in Mandarin Oriental, Sanya, but we don’t usually shoot at the hotels. That’s just been the history of the Campaign, but I think it’s quite nice to shoot at the hotels more and more. When it began, it was all about the subject and picking their own perfect place, but now the two are marrying together because Mandarin Oriental are doing more resort hotels, which has opened things up for outdoor locations. Before it was all about city hotels. I try to get as many exterior shots as I can, so fingers crossed for the weather!

Tell us about your book.

I’m doing a book, my first one, with Thames & Hudson [titled From Where I Stand] which is coming out in mid-October. I always take pictures, but I take them, look at them, then file them away. Last year I thought, actually, it’s time to do a book and go back and revisit all my contact sheets, which is quite daunting because there are so many pictures – and how do you structure it? So it became more of a personal structure: the book starts off quite quietly and landscapey and then goes into portraits and then comes back out quite quietly as well. Hopefully, it sort of says something about my character and what I’m interested in.

Was that the idea?

Yeah, keep it quite personal and not too eclectic. Having said that, it is quite eclectic because I’m always snapping different things.

What inspires you – do you always have a camera with you?

I like just wandering and watching people. There are moments, if I’m at an event, or I’m going somewhere, or at a shoot… Often when someone is not performing for the camera is when something interesting happens and I hate missing those moments.

In terms of your peers, whose work do you admire?

I suppose I like certain projects that people do. I love that Richard Billingham book, Ray’s a Laugh. I love Gursky and more epic work, probably things that I wouldn’t do myself. I mean, I like David LaChapelle. I think they’re all quite mad and I’d never do that kind of photography and I wouldn’t necessarily put it up on my wall. I suppose I like flicking through books with new work and then, for my home, I like vintage black and white, which is what inspired me in the first place.

What do you like about vintage photographs?

I just love that old-fashioned black-and-white quality and I like the historic feel behind them. I went to see a Berenice Abbott exhibition a few years ago and I came out just totally wanting to take pictures of buildings and façades. Those kind of things, that energy… I think there weren’t so many people taking photographs then, and their characters really came across.

Yes, and the women photographers…

Diane Arbus. I love Diane Arbus. So I suppose her and Lartigue are among my definite favourites, but some of his best photographs were taken when he was, like, nine. It’s disconcerting!

How do you see your work evolving in the future?

I suppose doing more personal projects. Getting into different situations and spending a few weeks or months with certain subjects is something I’d like to do, so you can get more in-depth.

And does that always result in an exhibition?

It doesn’t, no, that’s not necessarily the way I work. But I probably would do it with that in mind and then do the project and then from there edit and, yeah, the natural thing is the exhibition and a book.

And who or what would you most like to photograph?

You know what? Today, I was jogging around with my dog and thinking I would quite like to photograph Eminem. I’ve been listening to him a lot recently. I think he’s so bright and a bit scary and quite an intense character. It would be a real challenge to get him in front of the camera because he looks quite guarded as well. He’s sort of soft and angry and quite interesting, and I’d like to watch him for a while. He’s been through so much and I really find it quite intriguing listening to his music. And he seems quite real: he doesn’t put on a veneer – what you see is what you get. He’d be interesting and challenging