#and a couple that i had to nope out of
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guess who finished tlok tonight and immediately had this come to him in a vision!!!!
#i. really like tlok. like a lot#i understand why people dont like it#and i can accept that OBJECTIVELY its not that great#but i had a fantastic time with it#anyways yeah. gay people#tbh. would not call zhu li and varrick normal. most queer straight couple on the planet.#hes a gay man. shes a lesbian. theyre in love. do you get it.#i dont have that many thoughts abt wuko. i really really like it though.#wu is like the webkinz milk cat to me. i need to throw him against a wall really hard.#and of course. korrasami. what is there to even say there#one thing i will say is before watching it i TOTALLY thought asami was a fire bender and also evil#like i kept thinking “yep this is when she turns evil and then theres enemies to lovers” but nope#not a bender or evil and honestly im glad#she totally wouldve been justified in becoming evil though. i sure wouldve#love her.so much#korra too ofc#i have SO MANY more thoughts but im gonna run out of space#last thing i will say is i am a guy who will just always prefer media i can criticize#love atla. but theres nothing there for me to really sink my teeth into or like bitch about#i love it when media is KIND OF BAD and i can RANT ANGRILLY about it#the legend of korra#tlok#legend of korra#korrasami#wuko#zhurrick#korra#asami sato#mako tlok#prince wu
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Countdown to October 19th (10/19)
So Long London Apartment
#yeah the london apartment gets another mention#it means a lot to me okay#plus in my mind this video is just one of those videos that I remember#in my mind this was a moment#also just the oh you must be so sad and it just nope :D#over joyed in fact#this is posted a bit later because a couple days ago I realised I had an assignment due that I did not realise was due#so I worked on that#priorities#did I make the caption say so long london on purpose#of course I did#that's my song#so this was a real late minute pull together#thankfully I had the concept#but god#i'm gonna go pass the fuck out now#before I can over think this and spiral#dan and phil#dnp#danandphil#phan#amazingphil#my gifs#dnp gifs#danandphilgames#dan and phil games#daniel howell#phan countdown
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Can I just take a moment to appreciate the fucking props that Nikkie uses for EOM? From the custom Ouija board (which is absolutely STUNNING btw and I want it as a display piece in my room, oh my GOD), the candles used in episode 18(? It might’ve been 17, I’m not sure, I’ve been binging these and haven’t been playing close attention to the episode numbers), and everything used for the ritual in episode 22 (including a fucking pestle, crystals, a bell, incense, candles, and another thing I’m probably forgetting)
Like, she is going ALL OUT on EOM, and I fucking love it. I always love it when props come into play, but I especially love it when it lets the players feel included in what their characters are doing, rather than just “oh, here’s a letter that my character has received” y’know?
#legends of avantris#edge of midnight#I fucking adore this campaign to bits#I know it’s not for everyone because of the gore and everything#but if you think you can stomach it i highly recommend you at least give eom a listen#at least the first couple of episodes#but no pressure if the gore turns you away from it#i mean im pretty good with fictional gore and this campaign still had its moments of grossing me out#tho tbf that was less about the blood and body parts#and moreso whenever bodily fluids come into play#for some reason im good with blood and flesh and such#but bring in sweat? spit? pus? nope. nope not having that.
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Being a woc fan of Bridgerton can be a struggle, especially when it comes to liking the poc characters on the show, especially the woc. Like I remember when s1 came out and the blatant microaggressions and just plain racism coming from this fandom was atrocious. You had people spewing very hateful things about Charlotte, Marina, and Simon and undermining the latter two's pain and trauma at the hands of the white characters---Marina was treated terribly by the Featheringtons and, whether you like Penelope or not, you cannot deny that she also played a part by releasing that letter to the Ton and Simon was violated Daphne no matter how people try to spin the story to offer her some form of sympathy (it still blows my mind that people would want to though).
S2 is just as bad (not even including how they changed the Sharma family's storyline than how it was in the books when that wasn't necessary) and the racist undertones many of the fans have towards Mary and Edwina (as well as Kate but for her it's carries more brown woman needing to be saved by a white man when Anthony is involved because a lot of you all in the fandom are quick to use this trope such as "oh, he's the only one who truly knows her"). The lack of screen time for this family really ends up hurting them to but even with that, whether you like Mary and Edwina or not, it would be a lie to deny the racism a lot in the fandom hold towards them (and how that falls onto the actresses because it was very apparent how many in the fandom couldn't let two Desi women shine without having to bring down the other and Netflix played into that too for drama) and paints every small thing they do as being terrible crimes but in the same breath will not have the same smoke for the Bridgertons, who have their own set of problems (but because they are also the main family, among other things, they are provided more grace without consequences).
#bridgerton#edwina sharma#kate sharma#mary sharma#marina thompson#queen charlotte#simon basset#like fandoms can be a very hostile place especially toward poc#and don't even get me started on some fans acting like they care about the poc characters but only still fall into the tropes i presented#im nervous for how this post will be received bc ngl when people call out the racist antics in bridgerton people love to downplay it#and that's just not right (for any fandom)#and this impacts actors too bc there should be no reason that charithra can hardly be excited about her role in the show#or how ruby had received so much hate that (probably) as a result had two breakdowns#on top of still being asked by polin and pen fans to denounce marina to uplift their white faves#dni if you can't have a calm conversation here#also seeing the creator of the show say for s3 kathony that there won't be as much angst#more happy couple scenes irks me in a way bc that amount of angst didn't have to flood s2 if they weren't so concerned with pointless drama#like the books themselves gave enough angst without the engaged to your sister plotline and such#also would have made anthony seem like less of a prick and actually respect a woman's honor but nope#don't even get me started on how it seems more common for the poc characters to have to gripe and struggle#(especially with things that....they should not be blamed for) at the hands of or as result of white characters#when in the same breath that courtesy isn't extended to said white characters#(e.g. marina having to push colin in pen's direction even though both failed her#to simon begin assaulted and then blamed for it by daphne and the narrative#to kate having to move mountains to grow (even though for most part she wasn't wrong) but don't even see anthony apologize for his actions)#all the actors especially the woc experience racism (and other forms of discrimination) from this fandom#i haven't even gotten into the shitshow from some fans towards simone and the actor who plays simon#as well as the racism the actresses for queen charlotte faced#a lot of yall need to do better
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literally how do my peers have healthy social lives without destroying their academics. im on such a thin rope here its not even funny
#spacie spoinks#I HAVENT HAD MY REGULARLY SCHEDULED SOCIAL TIME IN. *checks watch*#WEEKS#i pop in say a couple sentences and am dragged off 2 hell#also i havent drawn in WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKS CLAWS AT MY CAGE#I WANT FREEDOM!! FREE ME#IM TIRED OF HAVING 2 TURN DOWN HANGOUTS AND HAVING 2 KEEP CONVOS SHORT#''hey spacie wanna hang ^-^'' ''sorry cant im busy'' ''hey spacie you free?'' ''nope. sorry.''#''hi spacie are you free this week?'' ''no and i wont be free next week either.''#I DIDNT EVEN ENJOY MY FALL BREAK.#I WORKED ALL OF MY FALL BREAK GGUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH RIPS MY HAIR OUT#thanksgiving break will be different tho... (it wont)
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#(( ooc. ))#negativity tw#venting tw#sorry for bad vibes on the dash today again#will delete this in a sec just lemme vent#so. i bought all the food for thanksgiving....#i cooked it all. his only contribution was rinsing half of the potatoes. peeling 2 carrots. and opening a couple cans for me#even the turkey that was supposed to be his to handle i ended up doing#bc he severely undercooked it so i had to step in to fix that and make sure it cooked properly#and then he said 'okay. you did all the cooking. i'll clean up.'#................... nope. guess who handled that too#while he was just sitting at the table after he was done#i'm the one that put all the food away. wiped down everything. filled the dishwasher#and got it going. gathered up all the other dishes and put them by the sink to wash#so to recap. i bought all the food. made all the food. and cleaned up after the entire meal#if i sound bitter its because i am#when i pointed out that i was having to clean up everything when he said he would his response was just 'sorry i'm such a useless hubby'#i mean yeah kinda#couple all this with the fact that i'm also the one who was up until midnight last night. on my bday. and on my period and exhausted#doing a ton of housework that he was supposed to handle. including cat litter which flares up my asthma when i do it#but i didn't have a choice. just masked up and did it myself bc its not fair to the fluffy bbys if i just let it slide and wait#for him to do it. bc that might be a few days.#sorry to bitch on the dash like this but just. the last couple days especially have been disappointing#between him flubbing my big 30 bday yesterday and now this today......... i'm really over it#gonna be lurking here and pretending i'm not pissed off
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i really thought i was getting better. i see now that that was stupid of me
#.pdf#rd#sorry feel free to ignore the following whining about my health#few days back i started feeling like i had more energy than i had in weeks#so i was like oh good i can do stuff again and cleaned all my fishtanks (spent a couple hours hauling buckets of water back and forth)#and then followed that up with staying up too late AND a half day of being out and about because i “felt up for it”#unfortunately my suspected Feel Bad After Doing Stuff Disease made me feel bad. after doing stuff. and now i feel like an idiot#why did i think that i would suddenly be able to handle my previous levels of exertion again? i do not know.#i guess its just hard to like really internalize that this might be my life now and that i cant do too much of anything even if i want to#got used to being told that im just depressed or something. made me start to doubt if im actually sick. made me think i would be fine#nope. clearly still something wrong with me. sucks to be me i guess#i feel so weak and sick and cold. like the kind of deep untouchable cold you feel when your blood temp drops from being given iv fluids...#hate it. one of my least favorite symptoms for sure for sure
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Any longtime Animaniacs fans here remember that long gap between 2007-2013 where we just waited for Warner Bros to release the remainder of the series (volume 4) on DVD?
#they released vol. 1 and 2 in 2006#and then vol. 3 in early 2007#so you’d think they would release vol. 4 by the end of that year right?#nope had to wait 6 years for it#they released it quietly in early 2013#i was happy at the time to finally have the entire series#but it was still frustrating#this was a couple years before the complete series set came out mind you#tiny toon adventures went through a similar dvd release#season 1 was split into 2 volumes and released around 2008-2009#but the rest of the series didn’t get released until 2013#animaniacs#dvds#physical media
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talking with mom about trying to figure out some future life plans (like have a kid) and remembered that when i mentioned i wanted to look into ivf because i'm ace and don't want to sleep with anyone my gyne suggested a turkey baster and. y'know what aside from it being a very funny suggestion (though it would probably work...) i'm still so glad she took me seriously.
#i mentioned some comments people had made after i had come out as ace about like hormone balance and stuff#and she asked me a few questions and went 'nope you're just ace!' with a big smile and that still means a lot to me to this day#she was also really good with my mom and doing what she could to work within mom's limitations#and was the one who helped with mom's cancer and did her hysterectomy!#i recommended her to a couple friends too because it's really nice to find a DR that's that easy to be comfortable with for exams#especially for something that can easily be distressing like that
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you know, I think that all the murder business in aknh-morpork would once again plummet if vetinari let downey and his people do their job again. he initially made the assassins' guild and thieves' guild legal for crime prevention and let them deal with people who performed unlicensed inhumation/theft. and then he got a new favourite toy in vimes and was like "actually no guys, let him do it, it's funny" "people are dying, dog-botherer."
Right??
Downey and Boggis are all about crime prevention. Cops aren't, by their very nature. They're reactive.
If the Assassins and Thieves' approach to prevention is colourful and florid—especially if you like the colour red—it is hardly their fault that this is what works best.
--
Vetinari: To be fair, Downey, under your methodology people still die.
Downey: Correct, but it's a lot less of them and it's all far more efficient. Plus, I make more money.
Vetinari: I'm not sure I can put "Lord Downey makes more money" into my cost-benefit-analysis chart on how to better approach crime prevention and reduction.
Downey: Look, if you do it my way, the city saves money! There's less murder, since everyone knows who will come for them in the dark of night if they're a little too knife happy. Or the bright of the day, I like shaking it up. With less murder the city spends less on the police budget, less on food and board for prisoners, and the hang-man might need a second job. It's a win-win, really.
Vetinari: I think some people might contest that point.
Downey: Just. Think about it, babe.
--
Downey argues that fine, fine, if they can't get regular-degular murderers, can they at least get serial killers. He had so much fun hunting down that guy the last time! It was a highlight in his recent life!
Vetinari says he'll think about it. He wants to know what Downey constitutes as a serial killer. Downey is like, 'anyone who has killed, in a sequential manner, more than two people. If it's a mass killing, I'll leave that to the Watch. Unless it happens more than once. Then it drops into serial killer bucket.'
Vetinari points out that this is a very low bar. The scope is wider than the ocean. The Assassins' Guild could lump so many people into that category. Really, if it's so broad, Vetinari isn't sure the definition is entirely useful. Downey beams at him.
#downey is a mischievous sort when he wants to be#comes out every few years#the inner Elf that's like 'what if we had more chaos and i watched things burn'#and Vetinari is like: no.#he hauls out the file he has of people he needs Taken Care Of But It's Not Pressing and takes out a hit on a couple of them#to keep Downey entertained#Vetinari is like: have you thought about giving yourself an insanely intense research project?#Downey is like: great idea. Weapons Design! The Gunne But Better And More Artful#Vetinari: HALT THAT THOUGHT. NO. NOPE. PUT THE IDEA BACK IN THE BOX DOWNEY#Downey: but what if I made it aesthetically pleasing and not so easy to kill people with. we do need to keep it challenging.#vetinari: I'm sending you on fifteen diplomatic and / or assassin missions over the next twelve months. that should calm you down.#Downey is a cat. sometimes he likes to knock things off the table because he is bored and it entertains him to do so.#discworld#lord downey#vetinari#ask#reply
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whenever i explain to people my tendency to forget to eat they always think it’s so weird or how i justify it not in an intentional way just in a this is just how it goes like most days i wont eat at work because i dont want to spend money and dont have time in the morning and forget the night before so i say ill do it when i get home so then i go home and spend time with my dog and watching tv, spending time with people and realize oh its too close to actual dinner time i’ll just wait and then i feed my dog spend more time with people think well i dont really want to cook while they’re here so i’ll just wait for them to go to bed since they’re going soon then i scroll on my phone trying to decide what to eat get distracted then eventually wander into the kitchen and i’ll make a random thing just cause and oop suddenly it’s 11:30 pm and im eating my first and only meal of the day all cause i kept accidentally delaying and forgetting :/
#and sometimes i snack but those i have issue with because i never know when to stop because obviously i wnat something more#but like when i hang out with my friends we’ll grab dinner so if i forget to bring food to work and we’re eating a few hours after i get off#and like it also doesn’t make sense to people when they ask if i had eaten today and im like nope but im not hungry and not in like ‘aha i#really am’ i jsut am not#plus like every couple of months i get really and random stomach aches that are awful when i don’t eat and terribly agonizing when i do#i don’t eat red meat i eat a good source of furits and veggies#probably more dairy than i should but im aware of it i just dont know what causes these weird tummy fluctuations#and like i’ve NEVER had a normal eating pattern but i just typically forget that im hungry or i should eat#eris: text#food tw#eating tw
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Benson desperately looking to Randy for reassurance, practically begging him for it, asking for something Randy cannot really give in the kind of fucked up situation they're in, really brought out some buried unprocessed things from deep within myself lol
The Passenger 2023 really is The Movie of All Time ™
#you'd think I'd have already discovered and explored all the ways this movie resonates with me and my experiences already#but nope there's always something new to uncover. the gift that keeps on giving. etc.#no wonder i've been feeling extra raw and unhinged ever since i first watched it#every little bit reminds me of something i had buried and repressed for some other time to deal with to survive the moment#and now it's all coming out and i still have no idea how to deal with it all lol#but at least i am somewhat more self aware and more mental health savvy than i was a couple years ago#still floundering tho but not as distraught as i could be
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I had yet another long, strenuous day yesterday and didn't finish work until super late and then I couldn't fall asleep until well past 2am cuz I was in so much pain from standing literally all day
#what made it worse was the client I spent most of my day with was a brand new client. and she booked super last minute#so I wasnt mentally prepared for doing a 5 hour color. and her natural hair was already pretty light so I had to foil foil foil. go back.#pull out first couple foils. foil foil foil. go back. pull out the next few.#over and over and over.#and her hair was so fucking long. and so fucking thick.#and after the first hour she wouldn't talk. like I like my silence so I don't fight it much#but every now and then I would try to engage with her. I'd say something and she would straight up ignore me. no acknowledgment.#which makes me feel anxious cuz it's like jesus... does she hate me?? did I piss her off somehow?#even when I finished her hair (it looked fucking amazing no lie. one of my best highlights yet.) she had next to no reaction to it#she was like 'it looks fine. I mean good. it's good.' completely deadpan#I laughed it off and was like yeah it's been a long day girl! but it looks amazinggg on you!!#no response. deep inhale. alright.#whatever tho.#when I did finally get off work I stopped @ bojangles cuz I was lightheaded and hadn't eaten since morning#and when I tell you I almost broke down into tears cuz there were so many people crowding the goddamn pickup area.#and so many bizarre conversations going on. genuinely felt like I was in some form of hell#like my feet hurt. my back hurts. I'm tired. I didn't get the validation I like to have over a 5 hour transformative color.#I'm hungry and there are two elderly women blocking the pickup counter. one is hard of hearing so she keeps yelling HUH???#and the other only speaks in soft baby whispers. that goes as well as you can imagine.#there's a man behind me grilling an employee abt whether or not he goes to church. he starts witnessing to him#and the employee says 'I've never thought about it like that before' no less than 4 times.#there's a child in front of me playing tiktoks @ full volume. and this is all happening simultaneously.#I really considered just leaving without my food but I knew I needed to eat and didnt have anything at home so I stuck it out#was it worth it? no. bojangles honestly sucks these days but what's a girl gonna do.#got home and tried to pass out but nope. tossed and turned all night.#put on hot n cold patches to try to soothe the pain a little. didn't work cuz one pain would be eased a bit and another pain would take over#blahhhhhh#and now. I get to do it all over again! yippeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
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#the worm speaks#i used one of my dad's envelopes for the paperwork and they had like these strips to peel away for the gum seal#but they weren't very good and i also had to open the one for my state taxes a couple times bc i forgot stuff. like the page w/my signature#and my dad saw me opening them n was like 'huh? you can just open them?' n i was like 'ya'#n he was like 'well that's not very safe.' n i was like 'nope!' n he told me to tape it shut n i was like 'i could wax seal them'#n he didn't believe that i had the supplies for it so he just laughed it off and so i went back to my room n got my wax seal stuff#and usually i do it w/a little candle in the bathroom w/the fan turned on n i strike a little penny match i bought in eighth grade#n i light the candle n do all that in the private of the bathroom but this time i just took it all down to the kitchen n used a stove burne#the first envelope i didn't flatten enough before putting the hot wax on and so it almost dripped off before i could actually seal it#but the second one turned out nice n so then i went over to my parents' room where they were discussing smth or other abt their own returns#and i was like 'look father the envelopes have been sealed' n he was like 'HAAAH? ...aiya...' and my mom was like '幹嗎? 她做甚麼?'#n so my dad just handed her the envelopes n she squinted at the seals n touched them disbelievingly#and then she was like 'how did you do that?!?' n i just showed her my wax sealing spoon n said 'with THIS!' n then my wax pellets#'and this!!' and then pointed in the direction of the kitchen 'and the stove!!!!'#anyway i was going to then also tape the sides like my dad told me to at first but then i couldn't find the tape
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Nothing to do with anything but I wanted to show off the Shrinky Dinks I made today - White Mage and Black Mage Chocobos.
#not a reblog#crafts#am i doing anything final fantasy-related currently? nope!#just saw a pic and remembered these guys were adorable and decided to make them into keychains or whatever#this project was actually started a couple weeks ago but i couldn't work on it for various reasons#also there was a screwup with one attempt so i had to completely redo the white mage#but it's done and i love how they turned out#in the coming craft sessions will be the aforementioned paper mario ttyd guys#i almost started that today instead of finishing this bc i was frustrated from the screwup but i'm glad i gave it another try
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Love that my father doesn't remember I exist until he needs something from me.
#Eli Speaks#im more than happy to help him out#but ya know#it would be nice to feel appreciated and have that care reciprocated#but nope gotta take care of shit by myself#when im still not in the greatest place mentally#im better than a few months ago#but the amount of stress and anxiety he has been causing me lately is unreal#i had a *horrible* anxiety nightmare last night#worst ive had in a long time#and guess who made me cry a couple days ago from stress#i just dont know what to do with myself anymore#im tired and angry#and im p sure this stress and anxiety has triggered my vertigo again so thats also fun
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