#and I've always loved him but he was not the character I most identified with at the time

[userautumn]

rereading my novel and realizing i'm the male main character (guy who is living through dark horrible times who should be dead by now but keeps fucking surviving out of a determination to make the world a better place for future generations)

[kerink]

in light of people's confusion over cecil's longevity in @sexymanotd i wanted to document a bit of his history for those unfamiliar or nostalgic

welcome to night vale is a podcast written by joseph fink and jeffrey cranor. cecil gerschwin palmer is the main character and voiced by cecil baldwin.

it debuted on june 15, 2012 it reached its peak in popularity in 2013-2014

despite this, wtnv has been one of tumblr's top fandoms since staff started tracking fandom-related data in 2014

for the longest time the only thing we knew about cecil's appearance was: "He is wearing a tie. He is not tall or short. Not thin or fat." and that wasn't until episode 19 which aired march 15, 2013. for almost a full year we had no idea what cecil looked like. so tumblr's collective unconscious kicked into high gear and we did what we do best

we created a tumblr sexyman

from know your meme: "Defining traits of the archetype include skinny body type, trickster or villain role and dapper clothing."

know your meme identifies wheatley (portal 2, 2011) and the onceler (the lorax, 2012) as being likely tumblr's first sexymen. and the onceler fandom was at its peak in 2012-2013, the same time as wtnv. in addition to this, the hannibal fandom has been cited as one of the contributing factors to wtnv's success on tumblr.

so tumblr had created an archetype that worked and the wtnv fandom was made up of mostly hannibal fans - the foundation for putting cecil in a suit was there. and honestly? cecil's at work in the show, why wouldn't he be well dressed?

however, while this explains his attire it doesn't explain some of cecil's more unique sexyman features, namely the tentacles. for this we have to return to the 2014 fandom review analysis where you can see the most popular fandom at the time: homestuck

haven't you ever wondered why almost a quarter (189/923 at time of writing) of E rated wtnv fics on ao3 are tagged tentacles or tentacle sex? why cecil having tentacles for a dick is such a seemingly popular headcanon? well look no further then homestuck cultural hold over.

throughout all of this, the development of the sexyman archetype on tumblr and the rise of homestuck, one creator really stands out: kinomatika

kino was one of the most popular homestuck artists on tumblr at the time, popular for their eridan fanart. if you google image search "welcome to night vale" kino's art is still one of the first results you'll get

their design was so popular in fact it was featured in wtnv related articles from the time

and yes there were absolutely other artists giving cecil tentacles and moving tattoos at the time, but it can't be understated the reach kino had and the influence their homestuck roots had on their design choices

i recommend going through the archive of @nightvaleartclub to see how cecil used to be portrayed back in the early days. unfortunately the earliest fanart i've been able to find is july 2013 and i find it hard to believe it took tumblr a year to draw him. although, i started listening at episode 5 and didn't start drawing him until then myself so who knows...

cecil has had tumblr's heart in a vice grip since episode 1, with "20,000 posts, 183,000 blogs and 680,000 notes using the #Night Vale tag" during its first week. tumblr's love for wtnv has always been fairly genuine, from the impact the writing has had on tumblr humor and future story telling, to how wtnv paved the way for lgbt+ representation in indi media, to how it popularized podcasts as a medium for story telling, to the little comforts some of cecil's quotes still bring people today

cecil is not only a founding father of tumblr culture, but also a blorbo of the people. cecil the character in canon has a tumblr account where he posts his art and slash fanfiction.

although cecil's character has developed over time and we've come to see what a ditzy, eccentric, brat he really is, changing his status from sexyman to babygirl, cecil is absolutely a character you should embrace. and you know what... despite what i've said in the past

#cecilsweep

[ID: Images one and two are Google analytic graphs for the search terms "welcome to night vale" and "wtnv" between June 15, 2015 and January 27, 2023. They both depict very sharp spikes around 2013-2014 until the lines decrease greatly over time.

Image three is a drawing of Cecil from Welcome To Nightvale. He is white, with white hair, glasses, a third eye on his forehead, and he is wearing a suit. In the background is the silhouette of a neighborhood from the WTNV official art, a galaxy, and a moon. It is tinted purple. Image four is the always has been meme. Instead of the earth is the tumblr logo, and the text is: “a wtnv fansite?” “Always has been”. End ID] id thanks to @princess-of-purple-prose

[sanguineterrain]

could I request a fic with insomniac!reader and tim? i love your writing im excited to see how you make his character your own! <3

thanks for the request! first time writing tim... kinda nervous like I'm on a first date 🫣 hope you like! this one isn't as mushy gushy as my usual fics (jason) so yeah. also my knowledge of yj is purely through fic 🤙

tim drake x gn!reader. tw insomnia, tim being so awkward but maybe... there are feelings... who can say. tim's character is so interesting to me (probably because I identify with him the most lmao).

****

It's really, really nice of the team to let you stay over tonight. Like, really nice.

You haven't even done much. You're pretty much a nobody in the superhero world, not even a D-list hero. Certainly not anybody that should be hanging out with the likes of Wonder Girl and Superboy and, God, Tim freakin' Drake.

Kon was just overly generous in his cool, brash way, herding you into a spare room after last night's battle. After tonight, you'll politely break away from the team to give them some reprieve. It didn't escape your notice that they didn't hang out last night like they usually do.

You've been awake for an hour now, listening for sounds of life in the corridor. If you were home, you'd already be on the couch watching crappy TV. But you really don't want to run into anyone here.

Maybe you have some chamomile tea leftover from the last time you stayed over. You hadn't stayed the whole night, slipping away without interference as most of the team had gone to their own homes.

You get up, stretching and popping joints. It's always a little cold in the Tower, and it wakes you up as you walk to the kitchen first. You're as quiet as you can be in heating the water and finding the tea.

You take your mug and head to the den. As you enter, you freeze.

Tim turns his head from his place on the couch. The blue light from the TV makes him paler, and his eyes bluer. Sometimes, he looks so much like Bruce Wayne, it startles you.

"Oh," you say, unsure what else to say. Your brain is tired and fried. "I... was just looking for my watch."

That's definitely your dumbest lie. You don't have a watch. Tim sure as fuck knows that.

His eyes flick to your wrist, as if reminding you both how stupid your lie is, then to your mug. He mutes the TV.

You stay where you are. Tim stands, obviously shouldering his own bout of insomnia.

"It's... you can come in," he says, just as awkward as you.

That's comforting. Tim's usually so suave, the few times you've interacted. He's all Gotham Heights, his upbringing never quite sloughing off no matter how many times he's probably tried to blend in and not be so... private school.

"I was just going to bed," he says quickly.

"No, you weren't," you say. You don't mean for it to come out so shrewd. Tim looks a little startled.

"I mean, you don't need to go," you add. "I'll take this to my room. It's fine. Sorry."

"No, I've been here too long anyway. I should work on my case."

Here's the thing. It's not that Tim avoids you because in order to do that, you'd have to see him more than three times a year.

But there's a distance. You've tried not to take it personally, tried to chalk it up to the fact that you're introverted and Kon and Bart are Kon and Bart, and Cassie's too straightforward to beat around the bush, and you've somehow won her over, which is nice.

And Tim is just... cautious. Paranoid.

Those are understatements, and you can't imagine the psychological damage caused by being raised by Batman, but, well, you've seen the previous and current Robins, so you can hazard a guess.

Anyway, Tim kind of acts like an unsocialized cat with you. You once mentioned it to Kon, in nicer words, but he dismissed you, saying, "Whaddya mean? Rob likes you!" Which had assuaged nothing, but whatever.

"I won't be here long," you say, as a last-ditch effort to not make it feel like you're kicking Tim out of his own space. "I just, uh, couldn't sleep."

He watches you in that freaky Bat way, like he's trying to determine if you're a threat or not. Jesus.

"It's hard for me to sleep after a battle," you add, trying to show your belly. That's how it feels, being around Tim Drake. Like you always need to be vulnerable first. Like you're in a battle of wills you didn't know you entered.

He doesn't sit down, but he does say, "Me too."

You nod and drink your cooling tea. "There's more tea in the kitchen if you want. Chamomile."

"I'm... good. Thanks."

You edge over to the armchair diagonal to the couch and sit.

"You can work in here," you say. "Unless, uh, it's too distracting. I'll keep the TV muted."

His laptop is on the other side of the couch. Tim is still, only his eyes moving from you to the laptop.

"I don't wanna push you out," you say.

"It's really fine," he replies immediately.

It's so not fine. This isn't boding well for your insomnia. You're definitely going to be agonizing over this interaction all week.

"I won't bother you," you say.

"I didn't say you would."

Then what's the problem?

Slowly, Tim returns to the couch. You look away, so it doesn't seem like you're watching his every move (you are), nor is Tim clocking your every move (he is).

He settles on the couch and opens his laptop. You drink and try to figure out what's playing on TV. It looks to be a rerun of Columbo. You smile.

"You like Columbo?"

Tim looks spooked that you're still talking to him, but he answers. "Yeah."

"Me too."

You watch Columbo silently look for clues. Tim types, fingers flying over the keyboard. Then his fingers pause.

"I used to watch it with Dick," he says. "When I first became Robin."

You nod, giving him your full attention. "Yeah? He seems like the type."

"He does a pretty good impression of him. He likes detective shows."

"You don't?" you ask.

Tim shrugs. "They're fine. I guess I just hate how predictable they can be."

"Of course the boy genius would say that," you say, smirking.

Instantly, Tim's face turns to stone. He hums, looking back at his laptop. You blink. What happened?

"Sorry. That was a joke," you say.

"I know," Tim says, any trace of warmth gone.

You're startled by the shift. "I don't—I wasn't making fun of you. I mean, you are smart. Really smart."

Tim carefully looks at you. "...Thanks."

You nod clumsily. You should've just stayed in bed.

It's quiet for a long time. You're trying to muster up the confidence to escape to your room when Tim speaks again.

"People have said stuff like that to be facetious. I... reacted without reading your tone."

It's not an apology, but it's probably the closest thing you'll get.

"It's okay," you say.

Tim nods. His shoulders aren't so tense, though his posture is atrocious when he's off-duty.

He gets up and gives you the remote. You take it, smile small. Tim retreats.

"You can unmute it if you want. I don't mind."

So you do, and you and Tim spend the next hour half-watching Columbo and half-watching each other. Eventually, your tea finishes, and the episode ends, so you get up.

"I think I'll try and sleep," you say.

Tim nods. "Good luck."

You hum. "Thanks. Good luck with the case."

"Yeah. Thanks."

You wash the mug and leave it on the dish rack. Then you escape back to your room. You really do feel like you could sleep again. Maybe Columbo reruns are the magic ingredient to a good night's sleep.

[sing-you-fools]

being a Discworld fan honestly should be, like, the #1 book recommending a person sort of things, and i hate that it's not because so many of his fans get it so wrong. like. i try not to get incensed about people being wrong on the internet, but how anyone reads these books and thinks this man was a bigot, thinks the representation he put in Discworld was at the expense of those represented, like. like. i'm furious about it. every time. especially as he continued to learn and grow both as a writer and as a person. even stuff that was originally meant to be a little silly, like a female dwarf, he found meant a lot to people, and he learned how to better include that story!

(spoilers ahead for Shepherd's Crown)

he leaned into it in the most loving and respectful way. fucking READ The Shepherd's Crown!!!!! the man found out trans women identified with his character so he learned how to represent them! and then, he wrote Jackrum! AND THEN HE WROTE GEOFFREY!!!!! with his last fucking book he gave us a character who says he doesn't really feel like a man or a woman, just himself, fucking ages before anyone else was writing nonbinary characters! AND HE PUT HIM IN GRANNY WEATHERWAX'S FUCKING COTTAGE Y'ALL! LIKE HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT WHAT THAT MEANS BECAUSE I HAVE SOBBED SO FUCKING MUCH ABOUT IT! (Note that obviously Geoffrey doesn't have/use different language for himself, but that's how he feels and pronouns are not gender.)

thanks to how he handled Cheery and how he went from there, Pratchett included trans representation for ALL of us SO SO SO SO SO LONG before we were on anyone else's radar, and it's honestly so much more respectful than some of the stuff i've seen out there more recently!!!!!

he wasn't perfect, and a lot of social standards have evolved since the earlier Discworld books especially, but he always kept an open mind and listened and tried and grew. and there are people out there insisting he would be this hateful bigot!!!!! i hate them!!!!! let me hire the fucking assassin's guild!!!!!

[chouettecrivaine]

Ah, Young Love! [Our Life: Now & Forever]

Fandom: Our Life: Now & Forever

Characters: Qiu Lin, Tamarack Baumann

Notes: takes place during Step 1, so he/him is used for Qiu as that is how he identifies at this point in the story!

So anyway I'm obsessed with how everybody wants Qiu but Qiu only has eyes for MC once they meet so I'm thinking about his silly little boyhood crush. And then I couldn't leave best girl Tamarack out of the love fest so here's just a few little things I was thinking about with them having childhood crushes on u <3

Note that only the demo is publicly available and I am not currently a patron so anything here that is proven true is coincidence and anything proven false is just me having a little fun

Qiu Lin

So like. I've seen Qiu call you pretty twice in the demo. Once when you meet him if you choose to call him pretty first, and again towards the end of what's available in the demo when he's listing off reasons why you should be allowed to join the club..

I just think that whenever he talks about you he always has to let it slip that he thinks you're cute. "They had on a really nice hair clip today!" "Their hair looked so cute when they took off their hat at school." "When I picked them up to walk to school, I was so surprised at how pretty they looked!"

When he told his parents about you he probably said "this really pretty kid surprised me in our yard and we went on a miniature adventure!"

Also (and note that my MC uses she/her so im gonna quote him using gendered terms but only for this one instance) When he's introducing you to one of his friends, he starts off with your name and says "she's a girl!" (Or whatever terms you have set)

So I just think he says the most basic facts about you with so much awe and wonder 🥺 like you wore overalls to school? He talks like you invented denim. You had a funny comment or joke? It's like he's never heard one before in his life when he retells it.

I feel like…the first thing that makes him interested in you is that you're new. Not only does this make you fun to mess with, but it makes you far more interesting than the people he's known his whole life. Plus you, unlike Tamarack, don't immediately brush off the cool things he wants to show you or do with you if it isn't immediately your cup of tea.

Darren and Baxter are sick and tired of hearing your name !! If you're not around Qiu wonders aloud at least once if he should or should've invite(d) you. If he did invite you and you had to decline, then he wonders what you're doing.

The type of kid to skip out on his weekend chores at home and go to your house to help you unpack instead

Ok so MC says they used to live in an apartment, right? Probably in the city? And MC was only allowed to play on their own because Golden Grove is "a safe neighborhood?" What if MC doesn't know how to ride a bike. What if Qiu teaches them…

Whether you get a hang of it or not, he daydreams about doing that thing where he rides the bike and you sit backwards on the seat or on the handlebars or something

When he finds out you can't ride a bike, he definitely shows off by riding around without his hands on the handlebars.

Will teach you how to jump off the swing set too, then will have competitions over who can swing the highest and leap the farthest

I feel like Golden Grove has a cute little main street with a bunch of locally owned shops. If you're interested, he'll show you every. single. business. Even if most of them are "granny shops" he isn't interested in. He'll let you poke around for a bit :)

He has a special page in his notebook for all the little notes and doodles about you

If you look closely at the note he gives you after class, you can see the remnants of a few tiny little hearts that he erased!!

Going back to him offering you to ride on his bike: he probably got you in trouble once because you were on your front lawn and he rode up asking you to go on an adventure with him on his bike. You're expecting a fun little 20 min ride through the walkable path in the woods that'll have you back home by dinner. Instead he takes you to town and buys you ice cream and the two of you have to struggle your way back up the hill on foot and it takes like an hour and a half to get back and your mom was worried SICK

Buys a pack of pens with one/some of your favorite color(s) and writes you notes exclusively in that/those ink(s)

If you and your mom go somewhere and he knocks on your door while you're out, you will come home to see him sitting on the steps to your front porch and waiting for you

Before class starts, he always gives you a funny face or a wave. If you come in late because of a doctor's appointment or something, naturally a lot of the kids turn to look at your entrance, and he immediately waves at you. Maybe even says hi to you out loud if he knows Mrs. Murray is in a good mood / he can get away with it.

If he finishes his work early or something, he'll turn around in his seat and just watch you from across the room with major heart eyes. He smiles wider and waves when you notice.

Anything you compliment him on, he immediately draws attention to around others. Say his hair looks good today? He'll hit you with a "oh but not every other day?" but then tell his seatmates about what you said.

Buys extra portions of his little snack bags of chips and candy or whatever he likes when he can so that he can give them to you during lunch.

Gets on a kick and will pester you about having a secret handshake until you let him come up with one. He likes having special things just you and him 🥺

Probably invites you to his hideout at a specific time and day every week and he gets soooooo excited for that time to roll around.

Tries extra hard in your favorite subject, even if it's one he hates. He's not trying to be top of the class, but he doesn't want you to think he doesn't care about something you care about!

If you like a class he's terrible at, he'll ask for your help! Or, if you struggle in a class he's good at, he'll volunteer to help you out even though he HATES the concept of doing extra schoolwork. That's how much he likes u

He'll do this with any windows but especially if one of your bedroom windows faces his: he will definitely pull a Taylor Swift in "You Belong With Me" and write notes for you guys to read to each other

Since he can't sit with you, he'll write you notes or make you doodles and then pretend he has to get up to sharpen his pencil so he can pass your desk and slip it to you

Tamarack Baumann

Tamarack will straight up just stare at you 👁👁

She follows you around like a lost puppy and visibly brightens up when you're around

Looks forward to school because she gets to sit next to you all day! Like she'll skip happily along the path with you and Qiu and you'll ask her if she's looking forward to all these things and she'll just go "No!" and when you finally give up and ask why she says "because I get to spend the whole day next to you!"

When she goes to play in the woods, sometimes she'll spend a while in the shallower end of the tree line waiting to see if you'll come outside and play with her

Has definitely thrown sticks and pebbles at your back door to lure you out before she gets bored

Likes to go around and pick up the coolest rock, the prettiest flower, the biggest piece of tree bark, a leaf the size of her head…then before she goes home for the night, she stops by your house and gives what she picked up to you!!

If you're not home then she leaves it on your porch with a note, usually held down by a rock if it's not something heavy 

She'll be over the moon if you give her cool rocks and stuff you found. Even if you're literally giving her trash, like if you ONLY give her bottle caps or pop tabs you find on the sidewalk, she cherishes them. Would make jewelry out of them tbh

Ok so quick tangent but there's a book I read in about 4th grade called Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli, and in it the love interest girl is the quirky type. One thing she has is a little decorative cart on her dresser which she puts rocks in every time she's happy and takes rocks out when she's sad. When the protag goes to her house and finds out, she explains how she has put the most rocks in it since meeting him. They kiss sometime after that and she puts another rock in and tells him about it. I think Tamarack would have a jar or a doll house bathtub and she would do the same thing, putting rocks in it when she's happy! So what I'm saying is give her plenty of rocks so she can exclusively use MC rocks for that 

Also will make matching jewelry for the two of you without even stopping to think if you even wear what she's making. She'll buy kits to make special rings and headbands, braid a million friendship bracelets out of multicolored string, use acorns she found to make earrings…anything! She is just as happy if you wear it then she is if you buy a jewelry display stand and show them off in your room. Eventually she adds keychains into the mix for some variety

Doesn't mean to spend a lot of her time waiting on you but she does. On weekends, instead of going directly into the woods, she'll just lie on her back in her yard and stare up at the clouds, completely still, daydreaming (about you) until she hears your door opening. Then she runs to you.

If any of your windows are open, particularly your bedroom window, she'll send a bunch of paper airplanes your way. Most of them make it! However, you've learned that if you find even one paper airplane inside, you're going to have to check that side of the house for more scattered on the ground

Grips onto your arms or your clothes whenever she can. You two are connected.

Makes a BIG effort to like anything that you like as much as you do! And when she follows you around, it doesn't really matter if you're doing something she doesn't care about. She just wants to spend time with you! It does make her whole week if you follow her into the woods, though.

She doesn't take notes in class, but you leave a writing implement out for her and sometimes she'll reach over and doodle a cute bear or something on your paper :)

If you say you're cold, she'll give you her scarf, no questions asked. Is also down to share but don't let her do that while you're walking because it WILL end badly 

Has wrapped the scarf around the two of you and tied you guys together before and yes it was the best recess of her life 

When walking, she tends to lean into you which sometimes almost turns into pushing you and Qiu into the road if you're not careful

Likes to drag you around places and pretty quickly invites you to her house. She doesn't tell her grandparents that she's inviting you over, so they're surprised by you almost every time, but they don't mind! She's dragging you up the stairs to her room too quickly for them to say anything anyway

[gojicorps]

I've been trying to make this post for a while... This is my OC "master post"

This is Ltw, if you dig stories of super heroes with a bunch of teenager drama and high school tropes, this isn't the story for you! Sorry, but this gender is already really saturated so I tried to mix and match different tropes across the medias to create a weird love letter to Comics, Tokusatsu and anything that I really enjoy. It's a coming of age story about Hart Lee Valentine, who chose to left his father house to live with his uncle in a city called Saint Expedite, famous for crimes, urban legends and some of the worst pizza you can ever imagine, an absolute paradise for someone who really wants to have a fresh restart in life.

The cast consists mainly of this 5 characters.

Hart Lee Valentine: He's the son of the smartest man alive... But this is just a media claim, his father helped cure one of the weirdest illness know to mankind. But that doesn't matter at all, Valentine is already living under the shadow of his only parent alive (wink, wink) he starts as a calm and collected person but gradually starts loosing his manners, becoming an unhinged not so crazy science. He has an odd sense of justice but he's MOSTLY a pacifist who will try to talk before throwing hands around.

His favorite animals are moths and ducks, dor different reasons, in his opinion moths are our saviours from the monstrosities called butterflies. And ducks because he loves how versatile they are, he identifies with that Jack of all trades style.

Sadako Atsuko: She's the local emo weirdo girl of the class, nobody knows much about her and her brother Helis, they live together in a mansion in the middle of the city, she's always tired, not in the best mood and usually sassy. People don't know but she's actually heiress of The Atsuko family, one of Japan's most advance tech companies, she's also a city vigilant who uses fear to stop crime... Yeah she's basically my universe version of the Batman, her character is driven by masks and alter egos, she feels incapable of leading a normal life since she's shattered between personas, not knowing who's the real her, not knowing how to express her true self. Those burdens started to get louder to the point she started playing instruments, as a therapy, but this basically turned into another problem, her days are getting too short to accomplish all her desires.

Her favorite animal is the bat, the long eared ones! So yeah she's basically using a fursuit to fight crime.

Helis: Sadako's adoptive brother, he's basically the group heart, trying to make their maniacal schemes be a little more unhinged, he's the protector and the tallest one of them. Those responsabilities are instantly forgotten when he's near Valentine, something about him makes Helis adopt a more act first think later persona, but they usually have fun with that. He's the one that gives unsolicited advices with the bestest intentions he wants to know more about his origin and maybe who's his real family but that's more a monkey palm situation that doesn't goes well when he meets his father and sister. He usually helps Sadako in her schemes, usually to treat her wounds while calls her irresponsible, dummy or anything in between those lines (she doesn't even get a cute animal band-aid...) oh he has an abnormal strength and light based power's, but that doesn't matter much to him.

His favorite animals are giraffes, he likes that they have the strongest kick, and besides their pattern is beautiful.

Ettore Zanchini: the definition of overcompensate! He simply is a tryhard in absolutely everything, he has a rivalry with Helis, Sadako and sometimes even Valentine, everything he does is trying to be the best. He likes classy outfits and good manners, he's a true gentleman with a short temper and overachiever, even though he doesn't need to prove himself that much. He's the best athlete of the school and won several fencing medals, he usually fights using two rapiers for the simple reason that this is a really dumb idea, so it's a good exercise.

He really likes Wolves and Stags, specially because they're the princes of the forest, he definitely cried with Bambi but keeps it hidden.

Stefanny: Starting as a villainess, Stef is the last one to join the crew, she's really unused to a bunch of stuff the others enjoy but tries her best to get ahold of everything, she's not the warmest person and can be really misunderstood, she's gruff and goes direct to the point in most of her interactions, some have the audacity to call her impolite, BUT SHE'S NOT! She's just not used to have conversations longer than 45 seconds or with people that aren't psycho's, she and Sadako get along pretty well, perhaps because of all their battles and training, oh and even though she's all cool and collected... She has fire powers, yeah they are neat I guess.

Her favorite animal are salamanders, she loves those little moist dragons!

[sassydefendorflower]

Okay. It's been a hot second since I watched FMA and I've been meaning to revisit. BUT. Something that always got to me, watching it, was Ed and Al's youth and their relationship to the military and power? Does that... that might be too vague. But is that something you can work with?

Ohhhhhh, that is SUCH a juicy topic and I probably can't even begin to touch up on all of it... but let's get started, shall we?

Sometimes that I always deeply loved (and found horribly frustrating) is how convincing Ed and Al are written as teenagers. Genius teenagers, maybe, but teenagers nonetheless. We see this wonderfully in the very first episode of the anime, when Isaac McDougal (what a delightful name) tells them that there's something wrong with the country, that the military is involved in that, and Ed literally tells him "I don't care. You have a philosopher's stone, right?".

Like.

WOW.

Plot of the whole show could be over right then and there if Ed had only stopped to listen. But, of course, that's not what a teenager would do, especially one so guiltridden he can only see his incredibly selfish goal right in front of him.

We are at the beginning of the story, after all, and there needs to be some room for character development.

But Ed and Al never quite lose that selfish, teenage viewpoint even as they grow (Ed comparing the bombing of Resembool with the genocide of Ishval to Major Miles' face, Ed throwing a hissy fit when they join forces with Scar even though Winry has made peace with it, Al sounding all of five years old when he repeats "Hughes moved to the countryside" like a child whose favorite animal just "ran away") but they do grow. Considerably.

They were always good kids. They always had an inane sense of fairness. But by the end of it, that sense of fairness has grown beyond them and their immediate surroundings. They can see farther than just themselves and Winry and the handful of people they call friends.

By the end of if their good deeds changed enough in the hearts of the Amestrian people to allow a certain degree of unity.

But how does that relate to power and the military?

Now, you see, Amestris is presented to us as a military state and we quite often get the sense that the military is the most common career path available to most of the country. At least if you want to eat. Somehow the Amestrian military has to feed all these endless wars after all, and that only happens if people join up voluntarily.

And it only happens if the benefits are good enough.

Which is exactly how Roy gets them. He dangles hope in front of their small, traumatized faces and makes it quite clear that the military is the only way to get what they want.

They need research materials, power, and the oversight of the state. They get all that by Ed joining up with the State Alchemists programme. As a civilian, all of that would be restricted and inaccessible to him.

But -- even in the beginning -- Ed never really identifies with his identity as a Dog of the Military beyond his title. He, in odds to all other State Alchemists, is known as Hero of the People, because while the rest of the Amestrian military exploits and the State Alchemists break with their promise of "be thou for the people" Ed and Al do give back. They do help. They do free towns from corrupt military officials, they do fight terrorists on trains, they do fix a street vendor's broken radio.

Ed is uncomfortable with the power he theoretically holds. When Maria Ross and Danny Brosh call him "sir" and use his official rank, Ed asks them to just call him Ed, saying that he's nothing special. We never once see him lever his status as "major" over any of the lower ranking officers. Later, we see him desert with no regards to his future career, and by the end we know he quit because the military was only ever a means to an end. And he reached that end. He reached his goal.

Ed never shows respect for authority figures (but he does salute Hughes once, so he must have had some formal training on how to behave), he doesn't claim the power he is theoretically owed beyond the independence it allows him, he has no invested interest in the politics of it all (even though he is aware of them), and he actively fights the corruption within the military when personally affected by it (even if he is way too selfish in the beginning to see the bigger question).

And both he and Al hate killing. They seem to accept it as a part of a soldier's job -- their problem isn't death, I don't think, considering how unbothered they are by dead bodies throughout the show - but the act itself is so abhorrent to them, that they try to stop even tangentially related murder plots simply because they want no part in it. It is naive -- the show tells us so. Many of its characters tell us so.

But.

But it is also a reclamation of Ed's agency. And it is hope for the future. Because Ed knows that he has become a Dog of the Military, he knows -- on some level -- that he's just sold his soul to a monster far bigger than him, but he will keep this one part of his innocence for himself. He will not kill in the name of the Amestrian government.

And you know what? Riza Hawkeye is impressed with him for that. Because she pulled the trigger when ordered to, and Ed is her hope for the future. Because he is the next generation. And he refuses to do what she once did.

(I think it is interesting to investigate under which circumstances Ed would kill and how that would influence his character and what would be the consequences of that, but for the sake of the show itself, I think it is a wonderful visualization of the world healing beyond what Riza and Roy and Armstrong and Marcoh and Kimblee did to it)

Now, how does that all tie together?

Well, I think it is Ed's youth that allows him to disregard much of the military's power over his life, and it is his stubborn teenage-ness that allows both him and Al to hold so steadfast to their ideals, be that the selfish goal of self-realization or the refusal to kill. Not once does either character strive for power, and even at the end of the series, once they're all grown up, we see them long for a simple life. For interesting travels, good food, family, and a future worth living.

The military is a tool, for Ed and Al - because the military state ensured that they would have to use it.

It is interesting, really, because Roy joined up because he believed the propaganda, and once he recruits the Elrics he's been firmly broken by that belief -- and the Elrics join up even though they distrust the military (the Rockbells seem firmly anti-military all things considered) simply because it offers the resources they need.

If Ed was any other protagonist this would be a very different story, because they handed a twelve-year old a whole lot of power and a pretty high-up rank and the worst he did was blow up a few buildings and buy ugly clothes.

This is probably not at all what you expected, but... well, you successfully activated my rambling button! AND MANY THANKS FOR THAT!!! <3 <3 <3

[leftneb]

alr here's me yapping about the landoscar Detroit: Become Human AU @lyslsstuff and I have cooked up over the past week or so

(decided to make a full post about it bc a. I have many MANY thoughts about it and b. you people are clearly not normal about this either) (affectionately)

first off have another WIP (peep the blue blush and the lines on their faces I'm totally normal about it yesyes) I unironically had to hide their heads a couple times because the sheer homosexual glee on their faces was making me nauseous (this is how I know I've succeeded as an artist)

the main concept goes: oscar is an F1 driver, and lando is one of his android mechanics. unbenoknownst to the general public (and pretty much everyone except like. zak brown) is that oscar is also an android

androids are very much banned from f1

lando starts out as a normal android, just following his programming and minding his own business really. altough the au plays out after the android revolution androids are still mistreated, just in subtler ways. technically they're not owned by anyone (but they're only allowed to exist when employed) and there's no segregation in public (but there's no laws against it) and some people are vaguely accepting (guess what there's no hate crime or hate speech laws either)

basically I went with the game's commentary on capitalism and treatment of minorities and made it a lot more actual c: we're not oppressing you (but we're also not not oppressing you)

the real plot begins when lando (accidentally) finds out that oscar is an android, which both of them proceed to be completely normal and not disgustingly in love about for the rest of eternity

one of my favorite things about this au (and this was completely unplanned it sorta just happened on it's own) is that the car is basically the 3rd main character. the way I'd explain it is basically: rk800 connor in the game is able to reconstruct entire events (crimes in his case) by examining details and piecing it all together. both lando (being a mechanic) and oscar (actually pulling functions out of the thing) are intimately familiar with the car, like they KNOW it on a personal level pretty much, they can reconstruct every single thing that is happening mechanically by hearing the sound it's making alone

for oscar this is sort of unfortunate because he is suspiciously good at telling when something is wrong (way before anyone else can really). but it also makes both of them emotionally attached feel connected to their machines which I think would be a genuinely interesting aspect of having androids in motorsports

thought I had while writing that paragraph: since irl the cars are usually identified by their drivers' numbers ("car number 4" and such) it could be that oscar litterally just calls his car "81". like that's just it's name. very creative ik

for the enjoyers of the original game I'd add that oscar's deviancy arc (in the sense of which impulses he recieves that lead him to disobey his programming) is most similar to markus' while lando's is more akin to connor's

bonus details that I can't really fit in a paragraph but want to add anyway:

android movements being inhumanly smooth conveniently mirrors oscar's irl driving style (minimal movement)

oscar normally has his pain receptors on despite being able to disable them. something about wanting to feel human (refuses to turn them off after crashes he feels were his fault despite mark scolding him about it)

yk the thing where both of these idiots are always dressed for opposite weather? yeah here it actually makes sense they were just programmed that way

I have no idea where lando's name comes from androids don't have names by default. they just get called "it" for the most part except oscar sometimes slips up and calls lando by his given name (that sounds very trans when I put it like that) which everyone else collectively goes "who the FUCK is lando" at

android transgenderism

I will not elaborate on that (note: I am trans. I will project this)

fun fact the piece that started it all ^^ was quite litterally just me seeing a picture of lando and going "dbh vibes" despite my knowledge of the game consisting of maybe half a playthrough I kinda-watched in 2021 (tubbo played it on stream lmao). it's safe to say that I may have hyperfixated on it a little tiny bit taking into account the 10 hours of playthrough I've watched and 2283 words of google doc we've written since that fateful day. whoopsies

also want to conclude this by saying that I purposefully didn't give too much away about the AU plot-wise because the hypothetical fic that hypothetically may come into existance at some point is hypothetically still a ways away and I don't want to spoil it too hard. consider this a director's commentary if you will

lmk if you wanna be added to the tag list for posts related to this au btw!!! I absolutely love hearing people's thoughts on it (though I am gonna be a bit busy in the coming weeks)

tag list (more people asked me to talk about this than I anticipated soz if I didn't respond directly I hope this makes up for it) @roosterhouse @wisteriagoesvroom @kpiastri @kingkestrel

[suplicyy]

hey hey hey (i sound like bokuto LOOOL) since your requests are open 👀👀 can you write something about kuroo again? i know i’m boring asf but i just can’t ignore my need to read everything about him you write. i was thinking, since they’re both in nekoma high (reader can be a second or third year like him, your choice) but maybe they’re in different classes so he would pay visit to her during breaks or even during lessons, i don’t know why but i feel like this is something he would definitely, he loves the attention after all. this is just my little idea, then you have completely free rein. thank u so much!! and dw about it taking time, i bet it’ll be worth the waiting (btw I LOVED kuroo headcannons, they’re so himm)

If you two were from different classes

Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader

— Summary: You two are from the same school, but both are in different classes.

— Tags/Genre: Fem!Reader (implied) | Fluff | Headcanons

— Warnings: None!

Before you guys started dating, you really couldn't understand how it always seemed like Kuroo was around, even though he wasn't even in your class.

There wasn't a day that went by where Kuroo wasn't barging into your classroom just to talk to you.

When I say he would do anything to see you even in separate classes, I mean anything.

There are times when even when he doesn't go to school for some reason, he always finds a way to go into school just to see you and then leave as if he had never been there.

Except for the days when he's sick as hell and can't even get out of bed. (but he would pester you via text message telling you to come visit him)

Or sometimes when Kuroo's homeroom teacher lets his students out for break early, but your homeroom teacher doesn't, so he stands next to your classroom door, patiently waiting for you to come out.

And at those times, please don't look out the hallway window, or you'll find Kuroo staring at you with some grimace through the window.

He once did just that and you burst out laughing in the middle of your math teacher's explanation, which made you have to spend all your break time helping him with a ton of paperwork.

And of course Kuroo begged the teacher to let him help you.

At least once in his life, he probably tried to pass himself off as a student of your class just to be with you. And when the teacher asked why Kuroo was in his class, he just said "You must be mistaken, teacher, I've always been from here" as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

And it's safe to say that after that, the teacher kicked him out of your classroom and gave him a nearly 10-minute lecture on how wrong it is to lie.

Someone stop him please, this boy is jumping at any opportunity to be near you...😭

LISTEN!! He would DEFINITELY tell you all the gossip that happened in his classroom.

If he knew of something scandalous, such as falsehoods between classmates, or even fights, he would rush to tell you everything and in full detail.

Many people know you two as a gossipy couple.

And I also say that whenever he has the chance, he would bring his own snack to your classroom so you can eat together, and he even brings Kenma every now and then. (only when Kuroo promises to buy him a new game)

— A/N: I really enjoyed writing this one because I identified with your request😭 At school, all my friends are in another class, while I am all alone in other, and whenever the bell rings for break, I run to their classroom to be with them!!

And don't worry about asking for the same character several times, I'm managing to get into a good writing rhythm!! So ask as many times as you want, and I will try to follow this rhythm!!

[delreyshit]

As a surrender

Summary: Your relationship with Ghost is not the best. But feelings are undeniable for him. Everything changes when your life seems to be in danger. Note: Not very explicit but it does contain sexual scenes(oral sex). The perspective in which I wrote this is not what I'm used to, but I hope you like it.

Warning: the reader can identify with the character of “Lisa Muñoz”, this is just a name I use for the background of the story but if you still don't like the fact that the reader is not textually represented, I'm sorry.

When you joined the task force, it was Ghost that caught your attention the most. A man with a suit that made him look even more corpulent than he already was and a mysterious mask, which hid his identity, caught your attention as soon as you met the lieutenant. You were delighted by Ghost's mysterious attractiveness, but, that vanished a few seconds after they spoke for the first time. You remember very well, the first time you met, you didn't talk at all, he was minding his own business and you just admired his masculine body and... Did I mention strapping? For someone not very tall like you, that man could be intimidating with his presence. The second time you bumped into each other, that's when the mutual contempt and hatred between you broke out.

“Lisa… Who the hell is Lisa Muñoz?” Ghost's irritated voice was heard, between the walls of the operating room.

The murmurs were not long in coming, people felt nervous, which made you feel reckless as you rose from your seat. His eyes rested on your weak figure. He folded his arms, waiting for you to approach him.

“Do you need something, Sir?” you asked, feeling the bile rise in your throat fearing to be the source of his bad mood.

“Yes, I need to know how on earth you were employed. Your report is awful, I've never read anything so terrible before.” He fanned the envelope in your face, cutting the few feet of distance between you.

“The report is thorough. I doubt there's anything important missing in there.” You replied, somewhat annoyed by his sadistic attitude.

He watched you, impressed that you confronted him instead of giving him some apologies for, as he saw it, a barely perfunctory job. He pushed the enclosed folder to your chest and with a tense jaw said, “Do it again, I want it ready by eight o'clock tomorrow. If you don't deliver something that meets my expectations, I'll make sure my superiors fire you.”

The jerk had you all night working up at least 3 different versions of an old mission report (just in case he didn't like any of them). The next day, when you turned in your very hard work, he didn't bother to tell you, “I guess that's what I can settle for. It could have been better…”

A total jerk, no doubt. Sometimes when you were in a good mood, you tried to empathize with him by being “nice.” You always failed because, to whatever it was, Ghost would respond rudely. He didn't like you and you didn't quite know why. The truth was far from what you thought, Ghost was captivated and even almost in love with you and your loving way of being. He hated himself for that, being close to you he was vulnerable and didn't like to experience emotions like that. In his eyes, from the first moment he saw you, you became the most exquisite woman he had ever seen. I mean, Ghost wasn't a virgin man or anything like that, God knows everything that man has done, but with such a complicated life he never thought about love. You were always good at doing your job and people love you, especially men and he always knew that. That's why every time he sought you out to belittle what you did, all he would say to you were poor excuses so he could talk to you and of course it was his jealousy showing through. He never knew how to handle his feelings, which is exactly why he thought it was best to be a bully to you.

His hateful attitude changed when you started accompanying him on missions, he often worried about your health and despite teasing you for feeling nervous. Although when the two of you started to suffer from the uncomfortable atmosphere, he could think of nothing better than to tell jokes. They were strange and boring, but you felt almost blessed that he wasn't treating you harshly for a few minutes. They used to distract you from the fear and started to help you and Ghost get along better, gradually you felt closer.

Neither of you imagined that the next mission you would be alone on would turn your relationship upside down.

“When can we rest?” you asked with a yawn. “I don't know… But you should have slept before we started the mission.” Ghost muttered, from the other radio.

“I'd like some coffee.” “Maybe, when you get caught you can ask the narcs for a couple of beans, surely they must have some.” “What do you mean, when they catch you?” You asked quizzically. “They won't have a hard time catching you, Lisa. You're sleepy and alone, plus you always screw something up.” “Fuck you. I'll still beat you to the package. “You whispered as you walked down a narrow hallway.

“We'll see about that, doll.” He mocked you back.

You stopped your steps when you reached the entrance to a large lighted hallway/balcony. You walked to the edge of the metal floor and peeked out, careful not to fall, taking a close look at the drug-filled tanks.

<<What the fuck is all this>> you thought.

“Apparently you were right, you got here before-” Ghost's sudden voice from behind you took you by surprise. You panicked and by instinct your body lurched as you spun around. Your feet slipped and you fell. The muffled cry that came from your lips, calling out to him, sent Ghost running to the shore.

“Shit, shit, shit…” shouted Ghost, frightened for you.

He didn't hesitate a second longer and jumped in your search, to your rescue. Your body plunged into a tank full of grams and like quicksand, the tons of dope pressed down on your body, drowning you quickly. Ghost fell with momentum into the same tank you were already in. The strength of his body helped him avoid being trapped. The lack of oxygen kept you asleep for quite a while, as Ghost struggled to pull you out. When he finally found you, his big arms grabbed your hips, pulling you close and pressing your body against his, keeping you from being separated by the pressure.

He swam to the outside and while he held your fragile body with one hand, he levered the edge of the tank with the other to get you out. He held you like a sack of potatoes as he walked across the rough floor. He stopped on a roofed place and, with great delicacy, supported you on the pavement. He sat on you while holding your jaw. He took off a glove and with two fingers searched your neck for any sign of a pulse.

<<She is unstable, fuck>> he thought as he sighed in anguish.

“Lisa.” He mumbled a couple of times. However, you didn't wake up.

He lifted his mask up to his nose and slowly bent down until he was level with your face. His hands moved to your nape and jaw, holding you firmly as he pressed his lips together, giving you oxygen.

You moaned in pleasure as Ghost's soft caresses spread over you, opening your eyes as you smiled. Ghost pulled away, embarrassed and confused.

“What the fuck?” “You fell for it, you fool. You thought I was dying and-”

He didn't listen to your taunts, he understood perfectly well that you had wanted to scare him, give him a bit of his comeuppance. Bravely, he leaned in to taste the flesh of your lips again. As soon as your mouths met, your tongues danced with each other playing foully. Ghost lay on top of your body as you both rubbed each other with need. When you separated for lack of oxygen, a thin line of saliva held you together. You regulated your breathing, dazed.

“I think we need to finish the mission…” you whispered, still unwilling to let go of Ghost.

“No way, the mission can wait.” He answered you.

You didn't notice when your thighs were pressing against Ghost's head.

“You taste fucking sweet.” He babbles drunkenly for you as his tongue sucks intensely at your hole.

Your fingernails scratch the hard cement of the floor and your back arches with each suck Ghost makes on your needy hole. His fingers move between your belly and your extremely sensitive clit, warming you with every mark he leaves in his wake.

“Come on, baby. Lubricate my face.”

His warm breath crashing into you, drooling as he urges you to cum makes you dizzy. He playfully digs his teeth into your swollen lips, making you moan incoherent sounds. You were so shattered when he thrust a thick finger into you, that with tears running down your cheeks you come hard into his mask and mouth.

No doubt it was going to be a very long night….

Extra note: English is not my first language, so I apologize in case there are some mistakes, I try to get better every day. Also if you think I need to work on something, don't doubt to let me know.

[nipuni]

Time for an old school blog post, Hello!

Just various updates about life and shows and clothes and some photos! Adding a read more cut because I talk too much 😊

Happy equinox everyone!! The mild weather has been wonderful for daily park walks. We have been taking our meals outside as often as we can to make the most of it before summer scorches the land and all life. The longer days allow for a lot more wandering too but the imminent return of the heat is also making the longing to move up north worse by the day. We miss the choppy ocean and seaside cliffs 😭 We love the silence and the rain and the nippy sea breeze!! it's like being suspended in early spring for half the year and a rainy autumn the other half, Ideal if you don't mind humidity, but that's what wellies and flat caps are for. We have been looking for properties to rent to show up everyday so for now we lie in wait.

Speaking of nature, a few months ago we discovered a free app called Plantnet that you use to take and upload photos of plants, trees, flowers and it will identify them for you. You keep a log with their locations and can share them too to help contribute to each local biodiversity database. It feels like a pokedex for plants. There are many apps like this one to choose from too. It's been so fun learning what all these plants are called and memorizing them! I recommend it, is like a little educational side quest to take on while stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. This is not an ad I promise lmao I just think it's neat! kind of sad feeling the need to clarify that.

This weather is also making me want to start making outfit posts again! It's been so long since I made any!! my winter wardrobe is mostly long wool coats or capes and boots so the inspiration wasn't there but now I'm ready to pull out all my stuff back from under my bed storage and experiment again 👏 I've also been meaning to share some of Nicolas outfits for ages too so there is more variety, could be fun!

Speaking of clothes, lately I've grown more and more frustrated with how poorly most clothes fit me to the point where I'm considering learning how to make them from scratch. I usually have to take in the tops and hem the bottoms but most things I try on are just built weird even if I fix the size, or maybe I'm built weird! I think it may be both. Nicolas also said he would love to learn along with me so we will probably embark on that adventure soon. OH and on a short tangent, I got myself a sort of binder-like top that flattens the chest a bit and I'm loving it! I'm very flat already but what little bust I do have has always bothered me when I dress and I've found I feel a lot more comfortable in this type of top. I'm glad I tried it out so if you feel similarly you may want to give it a go too, see how it feels!

On the media side of things we have also been watching more of David Tennant's work. We are still very much in love with him to an embarrassing degree, you can probably tell if you follow me anywhere, my likes on twitter alone give me away alksjdf and Nicolas isn't any better! if he used social media his would look the same lmao.

Since my last report we have watched and absolutely LOVED "There She Goes" we already want to watch it again honestly. The family dynamics for all his characters are always so real and refreshing!! Their relationship with their wives especially are always so believable in every series we've seen, the comfort and camaraderie, the banter and just friendship! You can tell they enjoy each other's company, it feels true. I love it so much!!

We also watched "Inside man" which was..a very stressful mess but David was incredible as always, also very hot and very pitiful which is always great, and Stanley Tucci was on it! so that's also fun.

Then we rewatched season one of Good Omens and the first 4 seasons of Doctor Who, with all the extra content like the Confidentials, deleted scenes, video diaries and more, they are just so good!! our list of favourite episodes keeps growing, season four is incredible, we are loving all these seasons even more the second time around!! Now we are probably going to start watching either Classic Who or Torchwood, along with more of David's work. We were trying to pick what to watch during dinner the other day and Nicolas was like 'damn, David is not in this though, I miss him' and lmao same so now we just watch one show without him and one with him right after to cope 😂

OH we have also been doing more historical reenactment! Since the last one in the 20's we jumped back to Regency times. We have been putting our outfits together for a ball soon and hopefully another one in autumn in the UK 😊 1800 is the farthest back in time we've been yet so it's been fun doing research, finding pieces and learning the dances in class but also very hectic. I'll share more about this soon!

Then we also have a couple of 1900 events coming soon, so I'll be sharing more Edwardian looks as well, our favourite era!!

Anyway I think that's all for now, thanks for reading to whoever is doing so!! I know this is long and not a popular blogging format anymore but I enjoy it a lot, maybe some of you do too 🥰 I will reply to some messages soon, I'm so sorry I'm so bad at keeping up with those!! I've read them all and cherish every word 🥺 Thank you for supporting my art and shenanigans as always!! I hope you have a great week!!

[usercelestial]

the whole queer eddie being included in a queer characters posts reminds me of like when people were wishing the bucktommy date scene got cut instead of the eddie and buck in Bobby’s room and eddie praying …when there is that whole random ass scene with no real adherence to the plot or the characters with polly the neighbour right there as an option for them to cut..but no they wanna cut the scene with the mlm queer couple (that many mlm queer men in this fandom love) all because they hate tommy, can’t handle a daddy issues joke, and the fact that it’s not eddie with buck

yeah ultimately a lot of their cries for activism and queer rep are performative. they do not truly care about queer characters or queer representation and i think most people could smell that from a mile away. these people have always been way more concerned with their own ship than with anything else. they like to pretend that if you don't ship The Thing or if you don't hate bucktommy then you must not want eddie to be queer or even like his character and that's. a thought lol. but i think it's really interesting why they've come to that conclusion.

like for me, i love eddie enough that i don't have to change his character to make him something that i like. i love eddie enough to allow him to be his own character outside of my own interpretation of his queerness and outside of his relationship with buck. but at the same time i also love eddie enough to see myself in him and create theories about his identity. these two things co-exist: seeing the character for what the canon shows me he is AND seeing the character for what i'd like him to be. i think most people are able to find the balance and be pretty normal about it. i think these people are genuinely so far deep into whatever they want the story to be that they have to rewrite canon to fit that perception of the character and feel threatened when that gets pointed out.

which again, like i truly do not give a shit if you do cherry pick canon, just don't come for people who are like hey you know that's just your headcanon right? like don't act like your own interpretation is better than anyone else's. it's not, it's still just an interpretation. i do read eddie as queer while still acknowledging that within the canon universe, he is identified as a straight man by canon. which makes my reading of him just a headcanon (aka canon in your head but not anywhere else), no less valid and important but still not the story they may be trying to tell.

i've talked about this a little bit before but i think a lot of the issue here is the idea of playing nice and remembering that this is all pretend which i don't think they've really had to deal with before. a lot of these people have never been confronted with another big kid on the block. their ship has kind of held precedent for a really long time, along with their headcanons and their ideas of what these characters are. so now that buck actually is bisexual and is dating a man, who isn't eddie, suddenly their entire worldview of canon breaks down.

now there's canon gay representation. now you don't have a moral argument to justify your ship bc that thing you've been begging for, "canon bi buck/more canon queer characters" does exist. so now what are you arguing for? just a preferred ship? no that can't be, it must be more than, we must be fighting for something bigger.

but now you're forced to confront that it's all just headcanons and vibes and theories that have ran unchallenged for years and years. so now you have a group of people who do not know how to grapple with the reality they are being shown vs the reality they've created in their heads clashing against people who are fans of the same reality the show lives in and don't really care about the non-canon anymore. which, if that's your prerogative, if you prefer non-canon stuff, then go for it, that's what fandom is for, but the issue here is that they view this as genuinely a threat. they don't want any other interpretation. it doesn't just feel like a threat to their ship, it feels like a threat to the canon world they've created about these characters. they see other people coming in excited for something that isn't their thing, and now feel like we're taking something away from them. they don't want to see canon anymore, even if it's something they used to claim they want. they don't want queer rep, they want to be proven right.

[lemotmo]

They closed their ask box. I hate people 😭😭

I hope it's temporary

A. Hi anon. Before I respond, I want to take a minute to say that I think this will be my last answer for a bit. My ask box needs a break, lol. It's a little hostile in there right now. Some of the asks/messages are lovely, thank you for those and I will see how I feel after the holiday.

Now with regards to your question. You can absolutely headcanon. No one is saying you can't. I would never say that. That's part of fandom and it's fun. What I was saying to that particular anon was that there's a difference between headcanoning scenarios you would like to see for your favorite ship/character and outright stealing another characters actual canon history to give to a character you prefer. That history belongs to Eddie not Tommy. You're correct though that Tommy shares some characteristics with Eddie, pretty sure that's the point. So in theory, sure, they could have similar storylines but they don't. The reason they don't is because Tommy is a minor character, and as such he will never have a storyline written for him. That's the way plot points work. They're designed to push a main character's storyline forward. Eddie is a main. Buck is a main. Tommy is a plot point, at least as of this writing. Pointing that out is not mean. It's not bigoted. And it's definitely not homophobic. It sucks to love a character the show doesn't care about. Most of us have been there at some point. We have fallen for a C or D character and have headcanoned a reality for them far better than their show was ever going to give them. It happens. There's nothing wrong with it. But it still doesn't make him anything more than what the show is telling you he is. And again, as of this writing, he has been written as nothing more then the guy Buck is currently seeing. But lots of you don't even seem to care about Buck with regards to the ship. There are messages in my ask box from people telling me that they don't care if Buck and Tommy break up because they will just ship whoever they pair Tommy with next. They won't pair Tommy with anyone next. When his Buck storyline is done his services will no longer be required. And that is what all of your anger is really all about.

If season 8 has Buck telling Tommy he loves him then that will be canon, you're correct. It is also canon that Buck told Taylor he loved her. I don't think you will get much argument from people on that. But it didn't matter. They broke up. She's gone. That is also canon. It's Buck's canon history. And you can't erase it. Just like you can't erase Eddie's canon history. That was my entire point. I've said from the beginning Tommy not being Buck's endgame doesn't mean he's not important, in some capacity. He will always be Buck's first. And him just being that is okay. That's important. There is no need to make it more. Fandom is meant to be fun and this has become unnecessarily exhausting on every level. I have been very pro Tommy, for what I believe the shows purpose for him is. Refusing to pretend he's more doesn't make me homophobic. That argument is juvenile and stupid and is only being made because there's no actual argument to have. Unless the show makes him more, than what they have so far, you all are just shouting in circles. Love him. Ship him. It's okay, I promise it is, but you have no reason to be angry that others don't. You have no right to be angry at Oliver for not promoting it. You have no right to be angry at Ryan for playing the character most of the audience wants with Buck. The show promised you nothing. Oliver said nothing. Ryan didn't do a thing.

You admitted in your ask that you have been blocked by Oliver, Ryan and the official show account. Do you know what you have to send to an official show account for them to block you? You have to send something pretty disturbing. And one person having multiple accounts doesn't fix the block. It's very easy to identify multiple accounts being run by the same person/IP address. That's not hard and it doesn't require advanced computer knowledge so I promise you the moderators running the show account know how to do that. So you can create all the accounts you want, and you said you have multiple, but like you also said they're all blocked. Ten or so people pretending to be 50 or 60 different people is still a very tiny fandom and I have no idea what you think that's going to accomplish. Other than getting all 60 accounts blocked. We have no proof that Tim is the one who put a stop to the cameo videos, you can't make that statement, but if he did, he had every right to do so. They got entirely out of hand. Like I said in a previous answer Lou wasn't' talking to a wide audience, none of the view counts ever went past 2,000 people. The count may be higher now if people uploaded them to YouTube, but those extra hits mean nothing. That is a tiny, tiny fandom, and there is nothing wrong with being a tiny fandom. But it was clear the same 8 and 9 people were the ones purchasing the cameos and then they were turning around and spouting his PAID content as canon facts, and anybody who dared say otherwise was homophobic. That's not how any of this works. Lou was very careful to say, each and every time btw, "yeah I can see that", "sure I guess you can say that", "I played it as...". Zero part of any of those words should lead anyone to believe he was stating facts. Those same people though then turned around and openly bragged about demanding the show give us a Tommy begins episode. Openly sending Oliver hate because he didn't follow him back on Instagram or promote the ship. And most inexcusably disgusting of all bragged about telling Ryan they wished he had committed suicide. That is sick, immature and highly disturbing behavior. And for what? There was never a reason for any of it. So I hope it was Tim who ended it. Oliver and Ryan didn't do anything wrong. They have every right to want to tell the story they want to tell for their characters. You have every right to disagree with them. It's that simple. You have no right to the abhorrent behavior that followed. And Oliver, Ryan and the show have the right to block you over it, but you don't get blocked by them just for saying you ship Buck and Tommy and everyone knows that. I have no doubt that this is not the response you were looking for, and in spite of everything, ships are meant to be enjoyed by whoever enjoys them. So ship away. Enjoy it. But you cannot force them onto others. That is a simple truth and it shouldn't be that difficult to understand. 💗

I really hope it's temporary but I do understand it. Great response though.

Once again, thank you for sending this Nonny.

First of all, it's a sad state of affairs when someone is pushed to stop talking basic common sense and truth on their own personal fandom blog. All because others don't like their opinion and have decided to spout hatred. I'm so tired of this insane behaviour of attacking people for having an opinion on a character or a ship.

So much to unpack in this post. But I'm just going to pick out a few topics that I have something to say about. The rest of it has all been explained so well by the OP's answer.

The fact that some of these people got blocked by the cast and the official account is crazy. When I read about the fact that someone bragged about telling Ryan they wished he commited suicide??? Seriously? Are these people for real? All of this over a fictional ship on a fictional show? This isn't just one bridge too far. This is ten million bridges too far. It disgusts me on a basic human level and frankly? It should disgust everyone.

The fact that some of these stans are saying that, even if Buck would break up with Tommy, they would want Tommy to have someone else? It's once again rooted in this stubborn resistance to see what is truly happening on the show. Tommy isn't going to stick around. He is going to play his part and leave as plot devices tend to do. I don't understand what they are hoping to gain with this shortsightedness? It will only get them hurt and disappointed in the end.

The whole Buck will tell Tommy he loves him in season 8 is also, once again, based on a headcanon. This time a headcanon made by one BT shipper who claims to be in secret contact with Tim. He gives her secret season 8 spoilers. I mean... really? How is it that people fall for this kind of nonsense? If some Buddie shipper would make a post about having contact with the showrunner and him telling them that they said Buddie is going to kiss in episode 2 of season 8? I would laugh out loud and bring out the 'Sure Jan' GIF. I mean, people cannot be that gullible, can they?

I admit though, the one thing the BT fandom do have is that Tommy will always be Buck's first when it comes to his experiences with a man. And I also admit that, personally? I hate it. I wish they would have found someone else. Someone who had the acting chops to actually show some emotional depth in his scenes with Oliver. Someone who didn't have a shady past. Someone who was more understanding and less dissmissive. But I guess that was also part of the story the show was trying to tell us. It was showing us that Tommy isn't 'the one' for Buck. In every scene it became more and more apparent that this relationship isn't going anywhere. But I'm just bummed that Buck, once again, fell into a relationship that ultimately is going to cause him hurt. I'm so tired of that. His next relationship better be with Eddie, so he can finally be completely happy with someone (after a lot of drama no doubt) and settle down, which is something he obviously really wants. The same goes for Eddie by the way. I just want to see that man happy at this point. I want him to figure himself out and fall for Buck. No other boyfriends necessary. Just let them be happy together. Do you hear that 911? LET 👏 THEM 👏 BE 👏 HAPPY 👏 TOGETHER! Thank you!

So yeah, that's about all I wanted to add. Just some observations really. Their message doesn't really need explanation or addendums. It's perfect as it is.

This will be the last update from the anonymous OP for now. I get why OP wants a break though. Dealing with fandom used to be a fun experience. These days it's like taking a walk in a swamp. You never know what's going to happen when you're there. Things could be peaceful or you could be attacked by a giant alligator, without any warning. It's exhausting, that's what it is.

Anyway, OP? Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Take a break, relax. I wish you sunshine and happiness during your break. I'll leave you with another anon message I received yesterday:

"I hope this gets back to that one anonymous blog we all love but I'm so sorry you're getting hate from those people for simply stating not only your opinion but the obvious truth that most of us have been able to see from the beginning. Your answers are always so eloquent and concise yet never malicious, it's truly a blessing to see a Tommy fan with actual common sense lol."

Remember, no hate in comments or reblogs. Let's keep it civil and respectful. Thank you.

If you are interested in more of the anonymous OP’s posts, you can find all of their posts so far under the tag: anonymous blog I love.

[im-this-kind-of-girl]

Aziraphale and Crowley's unhinged character analyzis (pt2. Crowley)

Controversial opinion:

Aziraphale and Crowley at the end of Season2 managed to accomplish the main goal they each had since the beginning of time. Only to realize that what they wanted no longer made them happy.

Disclaimer: I have no idea about what is going to happen in Good Omens. This analysis could clearly be considered a theory since I'm not Neil Gaiman, but as someone who knows about narrative and character structure, I'm going to elaborate. Also, English is not my first language, so sorry in advance.

I've already talked about Aziraphale's possible transformation arc in the Good Omens story. In here I've also written important definitions such as what's a transformation arc. I highly recommend it to read it first.

Now it's time to talk about Crowley.

Crowley, the co-protagonist and love interest.

In our role as audience, Crowley is the character with whom one tends to empathize the quickest. By the end of the second season, most would be tempted to think Crowley was right. However, this is a lie. Not only is Crowley not right, but he rejected Aziraphale just the same, choosing his principles over love.

Now, why in the first instance do we not see it that way? Well, because we have Aziraphale's point of view. We always get the angel's reaction first, we always see the way Crowley shows up again and again and again to rescue him unconditionally.

Very rarely do we have a moment where Crowley is alone in crisis because his beliefs are challenged. No, everything he does is in function of Aziraphale and we see the story from his perspective, that is, from the perspective of someone who is in love with Crowley. Because of this, Crowley is equally liked and attractive to everyone equally: we are inside Aziraphale's in love POV.

By the time Crowley proposes Aziraphale to run away together, we as the audience are seeing a proposal that is incredibly tempting to us: we want Aziraphale to accept it because it's what Aziraphale really wants. That's why the fight hurts so much, because we know internally that the two of them had the chance to be together but didn't because they're not ready yet.

Crowley's Objective

Crowley, unlike Aziraphale, was happy in Season 2 with his current situation. Having cut ties with both Heaven and Hell pleased him, because Crowley always sought only one goal throughout his entire life: freedom.

The one thing Crowley has always desired is to be himself with no excuses and no strings attached.

Since before the beginning of time, Crowley came to the conclusion that he didn't fit in Heaven. He thought he would fit in Hell, but soon realized that it was like a deteriorated version of Heaven, so he didn't fit in there either. On Earth he doesn't quite fit in either. Sure, he likes humans, has a certain admiration and curiosity for them, but he still considers them a species far different from his own. He is not human and never will be, so he can't really identify with them at all. He enjoys the advantages of humanity, but he is not one of them.

The Job episode is an indicator of this, he himself says so "I am a demon who goes along with Hell as far as I can".

In this same episode, however, the major problem he has with this is also expressed. Azira tells him "that sounds lonely". The counterpart of freedom is loneliness. To be truly free, you need to have nothing and nothing to bind you. That's why Crowley is someone who is unsympathetic and even disinterested in dealing with third parties. He does not remember faces or names, he does not get significantly close to anyone because that would compromise his desire for genuine independence.

This characteristic is the only one that is present in absolutely all versions of Crowley: the book, radio drama and even in the cursed script of the movie that never was. That's why whenever he sees danger, his first reaction is to run away.

Being free he has nothing to lose… or does he?

Crowley's dilemma

Well, Crowley never fit in by being different and so he always felt somewhat an outcast. However, it wasn't long before he noticed that Aziraphale was also different.

Clearly the angel was not like the other angels in Heaven: he enjoyed Earth, he fell into temptations, he lied to other angels. Also, it is obvious that he would not fit in Hell, and while he is more empathetic to humans, he is still innocently aloof. Aziraphale has a pure goodness that Crowley admires, the goodness that made him be kind to the demon in the first place.

Moreover, no matter the time, no matter how little they knew each other, Aziraphale could always see through Crowley's evil masquerade. The demon could burn goats and murder people, and yet Aziraphale has always held a blind faith towards him. Crowley, the Serpent of Eden, who had been his entire existence told that he's doomed to be a crawling tempter, finds in the angel an unexpected possible friend who's never been afraid or bothered by him.

Crowley eventually feels they are both the same: two supernatural entities left on Earth who learned to enjoy life on their own terms. Crowley sees in Aziraphale the companionship he never thought he'd find, the friend he thought at the moment he fell he'd never have. And that feeling of companionship and admiration slowly morphed into something more until it became love.

The season finale isn't the first time Crowley has considered leaving Earth. Probably not even his fight in Season 1 was the first time he considered it. Yet he never did. He never could because, without Aziraphale, running away would doom him to a life of solitude. Free, sure, but completely alone since no one except his angelic friend could understand him.

However, I think Crowley is not aware of what he feels. Or at least, he hasn't been for a long time. I'm sure his moment of introspection about his feelings was when Nina confronted him about it. Up to this point, Crowley considered Aziraphale his best and only friend, obviously. Crowley is loyal to a fault and always thought his relationship with Aziraphale was perfect just the way it was, but suddenly someone put it into words and he realized that yes, that's what he really wants with Aziraphale.

Crowley's decision

Crowley wants his freedom. That's why he never asked Aziraphale for explanations (because at the end of the day they were just friends), that's why he never told him that he was living in his car (because he would end up depending on him), that's why he never talked about his fall (because that would be opening up too much).

The most ironic thing about the whole ending, is that just like Crowley did with Aziraphale… Aziraphale proposed to Crowley the one thing he wants more than anything: to be together, for good, but sacrificing his freedom.

Crowley is capable of doing anything for his angel, even without acknowledging that what they had was love. He's capable of driving on fire, capable of killing Gabriel, capable of walking inside a church. Of everything except one thing.

It's the one step Crowley didn't dare take. He is not a martyr like the angel, no, he is not willing to sacrifice himself to be together. So, the obvious happened: Crowley chose his freedom over Aziraphale just as Aziraphale chose Heaven over Crowley.

The end of his arc and Aziraphale.

As I said before, I don't think Crowley will have a significant change comparable to Aziraphale's. His personality and beliefs will not be changed in a momentous way, as Crowley no longer has ties to Heaven or Hell by pulling the tab on both sides.

His side is already picked: Humanity.

His biggest change is likely to be one of purpose. Crowley is no longer going to be satisfied with his freedom. And the latter is a fact: Crowley is officially free. Without Aziraphale in the equation, he no longer has anything or anyone tying him to do anything or be any other than who he truly is. Crowley can go to Alpha Centauri and never come back; he can sleep for 3,000 years; he can go around the world in the Bentley. He can do whatever he wants. This might seem ideal to the Crowley of 300 years ago, but today's Crowley is completely consumed by loneliness.

Crowley never cared about building a home or having material things because he never wanted to be tied to anything earthly for the sake of doubt. He was always aware of the destruction of the Earth.

Love is not something that can be prevented though, and in the absence of having a home, he found it in Aziraphale.

Aziraphale: trustworthy, sweet, warm, funny, a bit of bastard but always irrevocably good. Everything Crowley lost when he fell he almost automatically found back.

To this day I wonder what Crowley is going to do now that his angel is gone and the possibility of him fleeing to the stars is becoming more and more possible. It's going to depend a lot on how much time passes between seasons, but I don't think it will be much. For not only he was his anchor, no, without Aziraphale, he doesn't have someone to cause him to want to do better, he doesn't have someone to be vulnerable with, he doesn't have a goal anymore, nobody else to impress.

He isn't evil. He isn't good. And now, he is alone.

First Crowley lost the love of God and now the love of Aziraphale. And it is then that Crowley will realize that what he really wants is not to be free, but to be loved. And this desire can only be fulfilled by the love of his life, Aziraphale.

The thing is... Crowley has always wondered why.

Why falling? Why becoming the cursed Serpent? Why could he never be truly free?

At the end of his arc, he must come to the conclusion that the answer was always in front of him:

Love is the only answer he needs.

[narutouzumakiarchive]

i was neutral towards gaanaru because it has like 0 basis but now i dislike it because sasu**** shippers try to push it as the 'better gay ship'. they try too hard to disprove a ship they are not bothered at all since they are 'brothers' and just friends.

I've always disliked gaanaru simply because it's boring and the passion and romance lies in Naruto and Sasuke. I also have an innate repulsion to the "safe and healthy" wholesome uwu gay ships that fandoms try to prop up in opposition to dynamics that they perceive as more toxic. But don't worry. Even the SS fans that pretend to care about Gaanaru and think they should have more content can't be bothered to actually make more content outside of isolated performative posts comparing it to Naruto and Sasuke. [See example below: Only one Gaanaru post outside of SS content and they had to mention SNS]

Them pretending Naruto and Sasuke are brothers and latching onto other ships to discredit SNS and beat the homophobic allegations is just overcompensation. I mean, I would overcompensate too if I shipped a character who was defined by love with someone who couldn't even explicitly be tied to the sharingan transformation that signals said character's love — though I wouldn't have such terrible taste to begin with.

They try to disprove narusasu in that manner because they need fanfics and official fanart and novels that Kishimoto didn't write to even attempt to justify their pairing while Narusasu has the the text and classic mutual romantic coding. Naruto individuates Sasuke outside of Team 7 and Sasuke individuates Naruto outside of Team 7. They have a unique and valuable relationship.

And ultimately, Sakura herself was envious of Naruto and Sasuke's dynamic (note the close up on Naruto's face after Sakura's statement). If Sakura herself wanted to do the things Naruto did for Sasuke and wanted Sasuke to feel for her the same way he did for Naruto in a romantic context, why would narusasu fans not ship them?

Like Kishimoto intentionally framed their battle in the most romantic way ever. Imagine if right before Sasuke and Deidara battled or something, Karin looked at Sasuke dismally, confessed her love and said "I wish you could do Y for me to prove that you love me" and then Sasuke disregarded her and went to do that for Deidara instead. Kishimoto would never do that, not just because Sasuke and Deidara dont have the established emotional connection necessary for such a scene, but also because it would impart an obvious romantic subtext that people would recognize as such if it happened in any other show.

And if Naruto and Sasuke are just friends then they need to take it up with Sasuke who kept affinity testing (despite Naruto understating his feelings and calling him a "friend") and asking Naruto to define friendship... only being fully satisfied after Naruto moved outside of concrete labels like friend and instead identified pain as the reason for his affection and devotion. [The Naruto fandom is seriously something else honestly like the repeated "what are we" conversation even after Naruto gave him an answer would be a done deal anywhere else.]

[touyas-multi-purpose-saline]

DAY XX. — BODY MODIFICATION

cw: Yandere, Obsessive Behavior / Thoughts, Possessive Behavior / Thoughts, Body Modification, Fondling, Grinding, Burning, Torture with Fire, Allusions to Kidnapping / Isolation, Unhealthy Relationships, Uncomfortable Scenarios, General Dark Content Not Suitable for Immature Audiences. Reader discretion is advised. 18+ Only!

author's note: This is another character study of sorts. Also, song reference. I think I've used it before for him, but there are some lyrics to that song that I listen to that make me think of him. I do not condone unhealthy behavior in any sense! This is strictly fiction! Do not force yourself to read if you're uncomfortable.

word count: Approximately 1k words.

Touya’s hands are all over you whenever he straddles you, legs swung over both of your knees and elbows digging into the give underneath your cheeks. The pillow suffocates you whenever he flops over more, thoroughly trapping you underneath his weighty form. Touya’s laughing, or at least you think he is. There are strange bubbles of laughter glittering on the tip of his tongue, but they don’t make a sound whenever you listen. Both of your ears strain, but all that they manage to snag is Touya. 

“Do you like other men?” 

His voice is sly, hued by an emotion that you can’t identify, but you shake your head as best as you can, scratchy words screwing into your throat. 

“No. Why would I?” 

You listen to him hum, a tight rag squeezing itself into coils and slapping against a wall. Touya sits back further on his haunches, and the extra pressure to the back of your knees sends you buckling lower into the mattress. A gasp dies behind your front teeth, so you click your tongue and bite the walls of your mouth, the ribbed roof of your cavern. Touya sways, maybe, but he’s going side to side and you can hear those bubbles popping louder and louder. 

“Can I do something to you?”

Do you have a choice? There are balmy thunderstorms birthing underneath Touya’s icy hands, those lapis licks a matchstick, the peppermint phosphorus in his touch a reminder. You nod, turning your head to bite down onto the fabric of a pillow sheet. 

“Yeah.” 

Touya’s fingers seem to jolt to life, cockroaches scuttling in the darkness, and he’s trailing his hands up and down your body. Those metal staples hooked into his flesh catch against you in some areas, pinching, but you just gasp and focus on how they chill you. Touya’s pace speeds up.

“What are you most attracted to?” 

A line folds down the center of your face, but you don’t stop. 

“Romantically?” 

Touya’s smiles dig into your sides.

“All of the above.” 

He’s crazy.

“I don’t know. I just want to feel loved, I guess?” 

Touya doesn’t respond. He hasn’t stopped fondling you, hasn’t stopped tracing whatever outlines of pulses that he locates underneath him. He’s trying to feel better, hopefully, or he’s just losing himself within you again. You don’t even remember how you ended up here—how you ended up underneath him—you seem to be underneath him a lot, don’t you—you don’t even remember why you’re underneath him—underneath Touya. When was the last time you were allowed to leave this bed? Your foot wiggles absentmindedly, jingling, and the chain hooked around your ankle feels like it gained a few kilos. Does Touya remember? Should you ask? 

“Do I make you feel loved, princess?” 

“Yeah.” 

“I’m trying. But you look at me like I’m a freak show sometimes. Heh. Do you know what that feels like?” 

Tears are in your eyes, but you don’t remember whenever they even sprang forth. Maybe they’ve always been there. The horizontal slant of your body, of the way it feels to tilt your head back by a fraction and locks gazes with a cigarette stained wall, it’s become your new everything. Touya is your new everything. 

“No.”

A laugh. You don’t like the implications. 

“We can feel like a freak show together. Maybe then I can look at you the same way I make you feel.” 

You don’t respond. You don’t respond because Touya’s hands immediately spark, the cocking of a gun and the hiss of a lit bomb, and the sounds combine, and the sensations are too overstimulating to think about. There are flames underneath his hands, underneath his nails, ferocious and comforting, and they start to mushroom around your body. Blue, blue blue blue fire, and Touya is grimacing—hopefully—you hope this is making him grimace. You’ll just picture that he's grimacing.  You’ll just picture anything other than the pain that starts to rip into your body, that feels like you’re being flamed, the intensity and the wriggling that your flesh does underneath that fire. Touya is hot, so hot, and you’re drooling and he’s laughing, his hands are touching anywhere he can find and he’s grinding his hips between the crease of your thighs. You’re moaning into the pillow, dying screams are howling whistles in the night, and Touya is leaning over you while he touches you. He’s feeling you up, dragging those irons down your body, wrinkling and pruning your flesh. 

“I’m going to make sure we are the same. I’ll feel so much better if we understand one another’s pain. Doesn’t that sound nice?” 

At that, Touya’s palms fully flatten against the small of your back. You can hear yourself sizzling, can feel your flesh char, can feel yourself becoming something that you aren’t. You turn to dust underneath Touya, you turn into the pain and chalk that he wants to play with, you turn into the canvas he needs to paint his lemon yellow sun and the dead in maroon blood. He’s groaning, he’s moaning blissfully too, and you can feel him angle his hips in a way that slides that growing erection between your thighs. Touya gyrates, and his elbows bend so he can start to puncture through the cavity of your acceptance and burn through the wax of your body. But you hope that you’re just the thing that Touya needs. 

And even though it hurts so bad, even though you wished that your relationship was normal and harmless, even though you wish Touya would take that cuff off of your leg and let you go, even though you’d rather scream and rip your own throat out instead of letting Touya rock his cock and mar your skin—you do it for him. Because that’s what he needs in life. Someone who will always stay dedicated to him. 

Touya’s moved up your legs until the head of his clothed cock prods against the cleft of your ass, and he’s thrusting away. He’s speaking to you, but the crackling of conflagrations are just owls on the wind, flutterings, and you can feel your eyes roll back into your head at the indescribable pain. You can feel yourself spinning because even though you’re being melted alive, the only thing you can focus on is making sure that Touya is happy. 

That whenever he gets done making you into what he needs, that Touya will always be happy.