#and I'm not allowed to make any sounds because they wanna watch the movie <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[sillysloppypuppyboy]

need to lay across a Dom's lap and watch a movie while they slowly pump their fingers in n out of me ♡

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[a-dirty-secret]

Johnny's Girl - Part 4

Contains smut.

tw: dub/non-con, hematolagnia, dacryphilia, blood, violence, stalking, rough sex.

Saturday approached slowly. Since meeting you Johnny had stopped stalking you, and he missed seeing you every day. Although he'd never admit that to himself, he just decided depriving himself of you was making him extra horny and refused to think about it any further.

He'd planned on taking you to the house that day, locking you up in the basement and having his way with you, but when he got to the gas station he hesitated. He wasn't sure why he didn't take you, and after thinking about it he still couldn't figure it out. Maybe it was the thought of tricking you into trusting him, or maybe he just wasn't ready to end the anticipation yet, he didn't know.

Regardless, he couldn't get you out of his head. He replayed your interactions over and over, thinking about your soft voice and floral scent. A scent he couldn't quite place. He thought about the brief contact his lips made with your soft skin, closing his eyes as he imagined biting down and tasting you.

He arrived to your house and knocked, his eyes running along every curve of your body when you open the door. You had on a pair of jean shorts and a plain, tight white shirt. Johnny allowed his eyes to linger on your breasts, your nipples exposed through the shirt, showing him you had on no bra.

He bit his lip and finally met your eyes, noticing how flushed your face was because of his obvious display. You loved the attention, you knew what you were doing when you put on this outfit. "So, what do you want to do tonight?" You ask.

"Any ideas, darlin'?" He wasn't the type for typical dating. He'd grin and bear whatever date like thing you wanted to do until he could get you alone. Being around other people was too distracting, he wanted to be able to give you his full attention.

Little did he know, you're not really one for the dating scene either. You'd go out to the bar occasionally, if a coworker asked, but you preferred to be alone. "I was thinking we could just spend time here. I could make you dinner and we could watch a movie. How does that sound?"

"Sounds perfect."

***

After dinner you and Johnny sat on the couch, not really paying attention to the horror movie you'd chosen. He asked a lot of questions and found himself enjoying your sarcasm and sense of humor, something that showed more as you got comfortable with him.

Some of his questions were personal and intimate, and you'd tell him you didn't feel comfortable answering. He'd just shake his head, moving on to the next question.

"How many men have you been with?"

"It's rude to ask that on the first date, y'know."

"What, don't wanna answer? Too embarrassed?" he smirked.

You roll your eyes, "I've been with 3, all were underwhelming, I don't have high hopes for you."

He laughed, "Tell me how they were underwhelming sweetheart, I'll be sure to put the information to good use."

You blush, not sure if you're willing to respond. Johnny stares at you, unrelenting, determined to get an answer to his question.

"The sex was very... plain. They didn't really know what they were doing, or maybe they just didn't care if I got off, I don't know. What I do know is that you've been asking questions all night, it's my turn. How experienced are you?"

"Mmm.... A woman like you deserves better than that. I'm experienced enough to make you feel good, I can promise you that."

His words caused heat to spread between your legs, but you glared at him. "That's not an answer."

"It's the answer you get." He snapped.

You were somewhat taken aback by his sharp tone, but you too were determined to get an answer to your question. You look Johnny in the eyes as you straddle him, putting your arms around his neck. He freezes at your unexpected closeness, but grunts when you grind your hips into him roughly, the sound of his voice dampening your panties.

He puts his hands on your ass and squeezes when you grind into him again, slowly leaning down to whisper in his ear. "Answer my question and I'll answer any question you want, no matter how personal, or raunchy. Please, Johnny."

Suddenly his gloved hand was in your hair, pulling you back roughly to stare at him, his eyes clouded with lust, you felt him growing hard beneath you. "I've been with more women than I can count, sweetheart. I know what I'm doin'. Good enough?"

You grind your hips against him again and he moves your head down so his mouth is next to your ear, "Tell me what you think about when you touch yourself." He then grabs your ass again, grinding you against him at a slow and steady pace, you can feel through your clothes that he's completely hard now.

You place your forehead on his and close your eyes as light, breathy moans escape your lips, enjoying the way he feels even through your clothes. "I... I think about.. Mmm... Being degraded, being used, being.... forced." At the last word you squeeze your eyes even tighter in embarrassment, ashamed that you're admitting your darkest fantasies to a man you barely know.

Suddenly Johnny's lips crash into yours and your embarrassment is forgotten. He's not usually one for kissing, too intimate. He rarely kisses the women he fucks, but he had to get closer to you, to taste you. His kiss was rough and passionate, his tongue dipping into your mouth and colliding with yours. You whimpered into his mouth, so desperate for more stimulation that you were trembling.

He quickly moves you off of him and gets on his knees, removing your shorts and panties in one swift motion. "I have to fucking taste you." He says roughly, spreading your legs, removing his gloves and staring at your dripping wet pussy. "You're soaking wet, like a good little whore should be." He takes his thumb and presses it to your clit, applying pressure and causing your hips to buck, he uses his other arm to hold you in place.

"Oh god Johnny please! Please move! Oh god please!" Johnny's cock throbs as you beg and twitch, and he could have busted right there. He removes his thumb, licks up your slit then brings his mouth to your sensitive clit. Every movement of his tongue causes you to twitch like you don't have any control over your body. One of his hands trails up your stomach, rubbing your nipple lightly. Your moans are loud and consistent. He's so wrapped up in your taste and sounds he almost feels high.

He slowly puts a finger inside of you, delighting in how tight you are. He pumps his finger in and out at a decent pace and squeezes your nipple roughly, causing you to let out an even louder moan. "You taste so fucking good." He slips another finger in. "I'm gonna make this tight pussy cum all over my fingers, is that what you want darlin'?"

"Yes Johnny, please!" He forces another finger in, earning a long, drawn out moan as you get closer to your climax. You put your hand in Johnny's hair and he lets out a low groan, enjoying your touch more than he should be, more than he's ever enjoyed being touched. Your moans grow more and more erratic and he can tell you're close.

"Are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?" That's all he had to say. Your walls contract around his fingers as you attempt to arch your back further than it can go. Your toes curl and you let out a scream trying desperately to close your legs, but Johnny just laughs and begins pumping his fingers into you fast and hard, the sound of your wet pussy filling the room. He brings his mouth back to your clit and you ball his hair in your fist, letting out moans that are closer to screams as he overstimulates your sensitive cunt.

"Stop! Oh please stop! Fuck!"

He laughs. "You're so pretty when you beg." He pumps his fingers even harder and continues working your clit with his tongue. Your second orgasm comes suddenly, so intense you can hardly breathe. Johnny's movements finally stop, his fingers leaving you. He puts his fingers in your mouth and you lick them clean. "Good girl. Now, get on your knees."

You comply, still desperate for him. "Such a compliant little slut." He grabs you by the hair and pushes your face against the crotch of his jeans, grinding his hips into you as he does so. "Stick your fucking tongue out, slut." You comply, and he guides your tongue along the bulge in his jeans.

He lets go of your hair and undoes his belt, pulling his cock out of his jeans. It was the biggest you've ever seen, you might be intimidated if you weren't so desperately horny for this man. You grip the base and lick the precum off of the tip, then proceed to lick up and down the underside, every once in a while leaving a sloppy wet kiss.

You lock eyes with Johnny's as you push his cock into your mouth, swirling your tongue across the tip. He grabs hold of your hair again and pushes his cock in deeper, drunk on the feeling of your soft mouth around his length. He looks down and notices that you're so wet it's dripping onto the floor, and he breaks, grunting as he shoves his cock as far down your throat as he can manage and brutally fucks your face, lost in a haze of lust and desire.

After a while he pulls out and allows you to catch your breath, but the break doesn't last long, and soon he's back to the same brutal pace. "So fucking good." It doesn't take long before his thrusts become erratic, his groans becoming more frequent. With one final loud grunt and rough thrust he pushes himself so far down your throat your nose is against him and empties himself into you.

He pulls out and you cough and gasp for air, you thought for sure you were going to pass out. Tears stream down your face and spit dribbles down your chin, you were a mess. After buckling his belt he helps you off of the floor, sitting you on the couch.

He bends over, grabbing his gloves and your panties, putting them in his pocket. "A souvenir." He smirks, throwing you a wink and walking towards the door.

"Wait!" You didn't expect him to leave so abruptly. You walk over to him and wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. He's stiff, but he returns the kiss. It's slow and tender, but soon his hand is on your neck and he's spinning you around, pushing you against the door and forcing his tongue into your mouth.

You moan into the kiss, feeling needy when he pulls away. "When will I see you again?" you ask.

"Soon, I can't stay away from you for long sweetheart." You move and allow him to leave, watching him as he goes. You hadn't intended on things getting so heated.

You go to your bedroom and lay down, thinking about what just happened with Johnny. His hands were rough and felt amazing against your soft skin. His lips were surprisingly soft, his kissing, however, was not. You fall asleep quickly, fantasizing about what your next encounter may bring.

[stobinesque]

WIP Wednesday!

Tagged by @eriquin and @steves-strapcollection, thank you!!

THE RULES

In a reblog (or new post w/ rules attached), post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. If you haven’t made any, go make some and come back to post!

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file. If the filename is one you can’t share from (for example, an event fic), write 3 sentences on it anyway, and then 3 more on another to share.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in, or just post. If you tag me in your post, I will send you an ask request!

THE WIPS

Jeff is Steve's Bi Awakening AU (fwiw I already have two of these sitting in my inbox from a couple weeks ago)

wigwag [Steve's Big Gay Sex Adventure]

Wayfinder [S4 Fix-it, Lucas POV]

phryctoria bonus chapter 7 (marginalia and annotations of How To Have Sex in an Epidemic)

THE (no pressure) TAGS

@devondespresso @starryeyedjanai @xenon-demon @inairbinad @hellsfireclub @delta-piscium @steddielations @thefreakandthehair @skjachukson @steventhusiast -- and anyone else who wants to participate!

THE SNIPPET

uhhhh, I'm pretty sure most of the writing I've done in the past 7 days has already been shared in various asks (or my steddie microfic), so have a sneak peek at chapter 5 of phryctoria, which I spent a good chunk of today revising.

Robin yawns again, stretching her arms high above her head. “Absolutely worth it,” she says, sounding a bit smug.

Steve shakes his head, but can’t bite back the smile she brings to his face. He clicks back into a conscious awareness of their surroundings, and realizes they’re passing by Weathertop. (Try as he might to deny it, the kids’ names for locations around Hawkins have fixed themselves in his mind.) He pulls off and parks the beamer on the side of the road, circling around the front to pull Robin out of the passenger seat. “C’mon, Bobbin, we’ve got a hill to climb.”

Halfway up, Robin turns to him and starts flapping a hand against his chest. “Hey, hey! How’s that song go? The hills are alive, dah-da-dah daaah dah, you know?”

Steve smirks. “Aren’t your ears supposed to be little geniuses? Robs, the next lines are literally the title of the movie.”

“Pretty sure it was a musical first.”

“This does not actually help your case, you know that, right?”

“Whatever, dingus. Just tell me how the song goes.”

“You sure you wanna hear me sing?”

“Okay, you’ll notice how I didn’t say ‘sing how it goes for me,’ you could just tell me the words.”

“No, no, now you’re going to be subjected to the musical stylings of the Harrington family singers, because,” Steve leans into her space and starts singing, sickly sweet, “My heart wants to sing every soooong it hears.” His head is almost fully resting against Robin’s shoulder as he looks up at her with a shit eating grin.

“Oh, my god, get off me,” she says, shoving at him while she laughs.

He lets himself be pushed away, taking a couple of dramatic, stumbling steps away from her before righting himself and drifting back into her space. “You know the next lines have always been my favorite though?”

“Do you have the whole song memorized?!”

“...yeah?” Steve frowns at her. “Robs, it’s one of my favorite movies! I thought that’s why you asked!”

Robin shakes her head, looking at him a little dumbstruck. “Nope, I’m pretty sure I would have remembered that little Harrington factoid.”

“Well…yeah. My mom really loved it, so I guess I just watched it a lot growing up? Especially when my dad was out of town—before she started going on the trips with him—because then we could sing along.”

Robin opens her mouth to say something, before seeming to make the conscious decision not to approach the whole ‘you couldn’t sing along to the movie about not being allowed to sing?’ thing with a ten foot pole, and snapping her mouth shut again. “Huh.” She takes a couple more striding steps forward with a pensive look on her face. “So...how does the next part go?”

He smiles at her, and even without being able to see his own face he can tell that it’s radiant. “My heart…wants to beat like the wings of the birds that rise from the lake to the trees.” He looks at her, and he can feel the way his gaze has become just a little too intense.

“Birds, huh?” She knocks his shoulder with her own, a gentle smile on her face. “Yep. Always loved ‘em,” he says, his heart feeling a little gooey in his chest.

[elliexmylove]

Let me care for you

PAIRING: Peter parker x GN reader (I imagined tom hollands Peter while writing but it works for any)

SUMMARY: You're sick and Peter wants to take care of you even if you don't let him at first

WORD COUNT: 1.8k

WARNINGS: none :)

NOTE: I changed the first person pov half way through for some reason sorry and idk how I feel abt this but enjoy<3

Being awoken to the vibration of my phone was annoying to say the least, my head hurt, my eyes were watery and puffy, and my nose was runny and slightly blocked. 

"Hello?" I croaked, 

"Y/n? Are you okay, why do you sound like that?" Peter's voice came through the other end,

"oh, hey Pete, I'm fine, I just woke up."

"Okay, well, I'm about to come over," 

"By that do you mean like a normal person would, or do you mean swing over?"

There was a pause,

"Does it matter?" 

I slightly smile, "No, but I'm sorry you can't come over,"

"Excuse me?" 

"Not today Peter," I say as kindly I can,

"I've never been told I can't come see you y/n, this is like freaking me out what do I do if I can't see you-"

"Bye Pete, love you." I say needing to blow my nose badly,

"No y/n wait-!"

Hanging up, I reach over to the tissue box my mum bought this morning, although they feel soft of my hands they feel rough on my red nose from doing it so many times.

To sum up how I feel is the word eugh.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

An hour later I had fallen asleep watching a movie on my laptop, so failed to hear the gentle knock on my window. The knock was louder the second time, and a little louder the third time.

With a crying groan I sat up, squinting my eyes to the window in my dark room, Peter?

There he crouched on the fire escape, spider suit on, mask in hand.

I peeled the blankets off of me and got up, seeing white for a second as I regained my balance, obviously I got up too fast.

Window now open I spoke, 

"Peter, what are you doing? I said not today."

"I've never been told that by you! You can't just expect me to stay home and not see you all day," he waves his hands around, and you feel the need to sneeze, 

don't look at the light, don't look at the light, don't look at anything light.

Well, too late, you turn around and sneeze into your arm. Ah frick. Gross.

You race to get a clean shirt, that being an oversized t shirt. After getting changed and throwing your pajama top in the wash Peter now sits on your bed in the dark room.

"Are you sick?" 

You give up on acting as though you're not, he basically knows now anyways.

"Yeah,"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Becuase I knew you would want to come over and take care of me, as sweet as that is I don't want you getting sick as well." 

"Well I don't care about getting sick, c'mere," he opens his arms up,

"Uh uh, you're not getting sick because of me, it's a really bad cold." 

"Exactly why I should comfort you." 

"No."

"Yes."

I begin walking put my door, to which Peter puts a stop to by shooting a web and pulling you back. 

"You wanna watch movie?" He asks once he has you sat in his lap, chin resting on your shoulder.

"Already watched one."

"Do you want snacks?" 

"Don't feel like it."

"Cuddles?" 

"Nope."

He puffs his cheeks and blows the air out.

I make a move to get out of his embrace,

"No." He tightens his grip around you, leaning slightly to get to back in place.

"I need to blow my nose," he narrows his eyes at you suspiciously but allows you to get the tissues. Once done you lie back onto the bed, 

"Hey," the boy whines, 

"You can stay, but we're gonna keep our distance so you have a better chance of not getting sick." 

He doesn't look happy.

"Can you imagine spiderman being sick? You would have to swing through cold wind, and fight people with a stuffy nose, not to mention the mask feeling disgusting and getting other people sick,"

"Don't care." He webs the box of tissues to you, and suddenly you need to sneeze, so you take one just before you do.

"How did you-"

"Spidey senses." 

"Thank you,"

"You wanna repay me?"

"By doing what?" 

"Cuddles,"

"No Peter."

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

I had been playing pocketlove on my phone for the past while while Peter had a shower because I "so rudely refused to do anything with him". 

A knock on my door made me lift my head up, mum appeared checking if I'm okay, 

"You alright hun?" 

"Yeah, thank you," 

"I'll be in the lounge if you want anything," 

I smiled at her and she closed the door, one second later another opened and Peter walked out with wet hair, he walked to my clothes draws and rummaged through them, 

"You can turn the light on if you want, 

"No its okay, do you still have one of my hoodies here?" 

I scoff, "check the third draw," 

As he does five hoodies come into view and he gasps, 

"I wondered where this was!" He holds up the last one I stole, he yanks it over his head and it falls a little below his waist, Peter also bought oversized things, just not as much as you.

I tap on my phone bringing up my heartstopper lockscreen, and also the time, 3:02. 

"Quiet day on crime huh?" 

At this Peter looks a little guilty, 

"I don't know,"

"Aren't you a little obsessed with this stuff?" 

"Wha- pft no," 

He crosses his arms playing it off, 

"Yesterday you were looking for stuff to help with, and stopped a guy from stealing a bag of sweets." 

"It was a bad thing to do!" He defended, 

"I would have done it,"

He collapses onto the bed, 

"You put on the spidersuit just to do it-" 

"okayokayokay, shhh." He holds his hand against your mouth,

"get off, my germs are going to spread onto your hand," your words echo a bit, and he rests his hand back by his side,

"You needa wash them now," 

He sighs and goes to the bathroom, leaving you and pocketlove to spend quality time together.

Peter emerges from the bathroom one minute later, "what're you doing?" He lies on the bed behind your back, 

"PocketLove," You say eyes intently focused on the game, 

"Do you want food ye-"

"Shh, I'm going on a date with my partner," 

"Well alright then." He fauns being deeply hurt, 

"You could download it, actually please do." 

"Okay, gimme a sec," 

He shoots a web to his phone lying on your desk.

A few minutes later and he's chosen his character, 

"What should I name my boyfriend?" 

"Uhmm, Jupiter? 

"Jupiter it is."

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

Both of you were very focused on the game, obviously Peter had taken a liking to it as well, 

"Can I see your house?" He rested his chon in the crook of your neck while you lie on your side.

"C'mere," You shuffled around so he could lie his head on your chest. 

"I originally had a normal house but I decided to recreate places from heartstopper." 

"oh no-" 

Peter webbed a tissue to you, 

ACHOO

"Thank you," your voice came out croaky.

"Back to your house?" 

"You're going to get sick." You whine, 

"What places in heartstopper?" 

You were a little obsessed with the comic and now series, and he knew this, he also knew asking about it would get you ranting about it which is exactly why he did it.

"Okay so, this room is from Charlie's birthday at the arcade, and this is the cinema, I haven't got all of the stuff for it yet,"

"Oh my god it's amazing,"

"and lastly the uncompleted beach room." 

You seemed pretty proud, and for good reason.

"Its amazing. My house has plants, chairs a bed and a frog mat."

"Oh! I still have that," 

"It must have taken so long to get all this stuff,"

"It did." You smile, 

"Oh sorry Pete, sit up for a minute,"

He reluctantly does as you asked and you turn away coughing into your arm. 

"D'you want some water?" 

"Yeah I probably should." You get up and walk towards the door, 

"Huh? Wait no! I meant it would get it," 

He quickly scoots off the bed, 

"Just come with me," You walk out into the light and he trails behind you like a puppy.

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

"Peter, I didn't know you were here!" Your mum says, rather surprised from the couch, Peter flinches a little not knowing she was there.

"Haha yeah, I'm here." 

"But I didn't see you come through the door-"

"Hey mum, do we have any lemons?" You intervene, relieving Peter.

"Yeah in the bowl on the bench hun."

"Thanks." You croak out feeling worse again.

Squeezing the lemon juice into the water you try to make sure no seeds get in it. Turning around you see Peter, arms filled with snacks, ready to go.

"Just in case." He defends himself.

"Okay let's go I need to blow my nose." 

Back in your dark room Peter let's the snacks fall onto the bed and you get a tissue your head was pounding and you felt very sick again. 

"Can we cuddle?" You finally give in wanting to feel love and comfort,

"Really?" Peter's face lights up and you nod, without wasting time he fell onto the bed taking you with him,

"Pete," 

"Sorry."

A little more gentle this time, you two got comfortable, Peter's arm was under you allowing you to lie on it and his other was wrapped around you.

"Do you wanna watch Narnia?"

"Mhm." You sigh, 

Peter shoots a web to your laptop lying on the ground then sitting right on his lap, "what's your password?"

"That's top secret information." 

"Y/n what's your password."

"Itsallbanterinit"

"You're crazy," 

"There's no helping my obsession Peter,"

He grins and squeezes you with his arm lying under you.

"Is it on disney+?" 

"Yeah I think so." 

The comforting movie starts playing and you already feel better, but still sick. 

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°

As Lucy meets Mr tumnus you feel the presence of marshmallows calling you from the end of your bed, trying to ignore the urge doesn't work, 

"Petee,"

"Yeah?"

"Marshmallows? Please?" Once again he uses those amazing webs of his and pulls the packet right to you.

"Thank you love." You kiss his cheek, 

"Wow so now you're trying to get me sick?" 

"No I'm sorry I just thought-" 

"No wait wait I'm sorry, I was kidding!" 

You let out a quiet, wheezy sigh, one second later sirens sound from below, on the roads, 

"You gonna go spider man?" 

"And leave you? The chances of that are very unlikely." 

"Wow, an avenger, not doing his job so he could take care of me, I'm in love." 

He scrunches his nose in a dorky little grin looking at you, 

"Edmund made me want a Turkish delight." 

"Would you trade me to the white witch for one?"

"Yeah probably." Peter gasped,

"Sorry Peter you know I love them, and you know I got slytherin in the pottermore quiz." 

"Yes yes okay."

"In fact I would probably trade you for her coat too."

"Okay I get it."

"Maybe even her crown."

"Y/n!"

"Love you."

[hanjizung]

♡ Dreamy Welcome. ♡

Lee Minho x Reader.

Word count:  4.4K

♡ Warnings ♡: SMUT; (mentions of) orgasm control, fingering, masturbation, (a bit of) exhibitionism, creampie, breeding kink, basically just love making, pet names.

Hello! im back with another request from when i reblogged this promp list ! [8) “If you’re going to act like a little brat then I’m going to treat you like a little brat.”] hope you enjoy!

You had been missing Minho a lot since he went on tour, missed everything about him; his voice, his laugh, his smile, the way he called your name, how he hugged you and kissed you on the forehead after teasing you… His whole absence felt weird, it wasn’t killing you but you missed him a lot, you needed him back as soon as possible.

There was an unwritten list of things you wanted to do with him once he was back; first you had to hug him, tell him how much you had missed him while kissing his face and making him feel a little shy from all the affection you were giving him in front of his members, then you would steal him and take him to your house for a movie night where the only thing you would actually focus on is going to be take care of him, massage him if he wants, play with his hair and cuddle with him on your couch until he fell asleep, and the last thing on your list was to make him fuck you senseless.

Of course the two of you had the occasional phone sex, it was mostly him hiding in the bathroom between practices and telling you to touch yourself for him, moaning his name but never cumming, because he said that he wanted you to cum on his cock, he wanted to be the one to give you an orgasm that would have you seeing stars.

That was the promise he made during one of those calls late at night that had you feeling needy and in not a very good mood for the next day, it made you feel frustrated that you stayed always at the edge, but you were equally proud that you hadn’t broken his one rule.

The day he called you and told you with a happy voice that his last concert was in 3 more nights and that in two days after that you would be able to see him, you exploded. When you went to work you got asked multiple times what had happened that you couldn't stop smiling, making you laugh and lie to them that you were just excited for something that happened to one of your cousins or something like that.

It was a more contrastive mood than how you behaved last week, bags under your eyes, eyes semi closed from how tired you were and not so happy because your beautiful boyfriend required a session of self love where he got to edge you multiple times. Twice, to be more precise, the sudden change surprised everyone at your workplace. You seemed more energetic and focused, you did all your work with a smile on your face and you sang during your break when you ate.

You asked your boss if you could leave earlier one day, and seeing how competent you were behaving he accepted, wishing you good luck and telling you that he expected you to stay working as efficiently as possible and that he was happy with your work pace. You simply nodded, not hearing much of his speech because everything that was in your mind was your beautiful boyfriend.

Days passed quickly and you found yourself showering at 4 am to be able to go and receive your boyfriend and the rest of your friends in time. You would be done getting ready at 5, then had to get a taxi to the airport and then you would be able to spend the day with all of them, just like you wanted.

The early morning was cold, and you were thankful that you decided to wear an appropriate coat to protect yourself from the weather. You placed your hands together out of nervousness, anticipating the moment that all of them would arrive, walking through their fans and following the staff to where their vans were parked.

True… you couldn't run to Minho and wrap your arms around him. You had to keep the black mask above your nose and the dark glasses to avoid raising suspicion and pretend to be another staff member. Your relationship was a secret…

Sighing, a plane finally landed and the giant bodyguards that you sometimes brought candies to started walking towards it, you running not too far from them and breathing in to try and control your excitement, failing momentarily when you saw a group of men walk out followed by some other people close behind them. You recognized each one of your friends as soon as they walked out, they wore comfortable clothes and they seemed to be needing some more rest.

The real staff instructed them to go to the previously prepared cars, and you rushed to find your dance machine boyfriend.

You waited for Changbin, Jisung and Seungmin to get inside the car, Minho noticed you and he got in, waiting for you to close the door after you hopped in to hug you and pull you close to him in a loving manner. In the front seats, there was one of the bodyguards and the designated driver. You snuggled closer to Minho, he whispered "I missed you a lot" for you to hear only and he kissed your forehead gently, making you feel incredibly happy.

Not even 10 minutes inside the car, and soft snores could be heard, Minho's weight felt heavy in your side, but you didn't care, you were happy knowing that from that day he would get to rest for a long period of time, and you expected to spend a lot of time with him.

The stillness of the car made you open your eyes, rubbing them to get accustomed to the sun rays filters through the clear front window and you realized that you had finally arrived at the dorms. The bodyguard opened the door for you, giving you his hand to help you out. You shook Minho gently to help him wake up, yawning when he looked at you with disoriented eyes, and then you took the waiting hand to wait for them outside.

When all of them were outside the car, you helped them walk to their corresponding dorm, helping Minho walk with closed eyes because he wasn't fully awake, and when you finally got to your destination, the door was unlocked and there was a mountain of baggage and bags ready to unpack, but that would be a problem for later. In the kitchen, sitting with his laptop in front of him was Chan, he gave a low "good mornin" when he saw who had arrived, continuing to do whatever it was that he had on display in the screen in front of him. You nodded, silently greeting him and then walked to Minho's shared room. He plopped down on his bed, moving and patting the side next to him for you to lay down next to him, and you did.

"I missed you" you whispered, burying your face in his chest and hugging him tightly, making him chuckle quietly.

"I missed you too, hot stuff" he whispered back, looking down at you and patting your back gently.

The two of you stayed like that, there was no need to speak any more words, you were finally holding him, you were finally in his arms and you felt so loved. This was your safe place.

With those thoughts in your head, you dozed off again, your breathing almost syncing with Minho's steady one.

You had a beautiful dream with him, it started with you sitting on the porch of your childhood home observing the street until a younger looking Minho appeared and took your hand. He guided you to the insides of the place that used to be your home. He kissed you playfully at first, then he took your face with his hand and held you in place as the heat of the kiss increased and moments later he was eating you out in the kitchen aisle.

You were enjoying the dream probably a little too much, because you were woken up suddenly by your boyfriend's hands on your shoulder, moving you gently to bring you back to the real world.

"Seems like you had an interesting dream, didn't you?" he said. You blushed, hitting him gently on his chest and groaning.

"Maybe I wouldn't dream such things if someone," you shoot him a glare "didn't get me all worked up and then didn't allow me to cum" you complained, making him laugh. You were daring him, and you knew that, but you needed to know how much he would wait until he finally gave you what you wanted and fucked you hard like he'd done before he left.

"Oh, really, baby? It's my fault, then?" he asked. You pouted and nodded, looking at him with needy eyes. "Then I must do something to reward you for being so good, right?" his hand snaked on your tummy, getting to the edge of your shirt and going under it until it reached your breast.

His hand squeezed you, gaining a sigh from you. Two of his fingers played with your nub moment later, he shifted so he would be on his side and able to play with you, his lips finding a home in your neck and kissing you lazily, the caress of his lips against your skin and the sensation of him teasing your nipoles felt amazing, it was enough for you to start getting wet and your breathing to turn irregular, but all that ended when Jisung shamelessly opened the door.

"Hey guys, who's awake already? Does anyone wanna watch a movie?" he asked no one in particular, Minho's movement stopped and his arm quickly moved to wrap around your waist, his head fell against his pillow and you closed your eyes again to pretend to still be asleep. It was almost as if nothing between the two of you had happened, which would actually seem like it were true if both your hearts weren't racing from almost being caught.

You heard movement from the other side of the room, you recognized Hyunjin's steps passing through the door accompanied with a humm and later Seungmin's voice was heard, answering Jisung who was still standing by the entrance.

"I'm kinda hungry. I'll join if we order something to eat" he said, the sound of feet against the floor letting you know he was ready to leave the room.

"Sure, let's try to convince Chan to pay," Jisung responded, waiting for Seungmin to walk with him to the living room, but when Seungmin reached him, Jisung didn't move. "Shouldn't we wake Minho and ask him if he wants something as well?"

"Nah, he stayed up the whole flight I think, and besides, he's with Y/N. Let's order something for them and let them sleep," Seungmin said, his tired voice making it clear that he didn't want to deal with trying to wake Minho up.

The answer seemed to be enough for Jisung, and the two of them left, closing the door behind them. Just then, you allowed yourself to sigh in relief.

Next to you, Minho rolled on his side, his back now at you making you confused. "What are you doing?" you asked.

"You heard them, they think we're asleep, so we might go back to sleep again, don't you think?" he responded, his tone still low. You whined, hugging his whole body as best as you could, your mouth reaching his ear to whisper to him:

"But I'm so wet… are you really going back to sleep and leave me like this?" you cried to him, you knew he could feel you putting on the tone of voice you decided to use, but he didn't say anything, so you tried your luck again.

"Please, if you're not going to fuck me at least finger me, I've missed you so much… I've been waiting for you to use me for so long" you continued, begging with a low voice and pressing your lips against the shell of his ear, starting a trail of kisses down all the uncovered skin you could see, high diving yourself in your mind when you felt him shiver under your touch.

Minho finally sighed, giving in and turning so now he would be facing you, your eyes almost shone when his right hand went to your hip and his face got closer to yours to steal a passionate kiss that you now would end up making you feel like the world was spinning.

You couldn't help the giggle that escaped your lips when both of you tried to recuperate your normal breathing, drawing a raised eyebrow from your boyfriend. You simply took his face with both of your hands and started kissing him again, suddenly one of your hands leaving his cheek to guide the hand resting on your hip to where you needed him most. If he noticed, he had been nice enough to not say anything.

Or that's what you thought, because then he broke the kiss and growled quietly, his fingers playing with the button of your jeans until he was able to open them and he wasted no more time, his slender digit slipping past your underwear and feeling all the wetness between your legs.

"Oh, Y/N, you're so fucking wet, kitten" he muttered. His hand moved away from where you wanted it to be, making you complain and furrow your eyebrows while he showed you his glistening finger before guiding it to your lips for you to lick it clean yourself. Minho rolled his eyes when you grabbed his hand and made it touch you again, you didn't care how needy you seemed, everything you could think of was how much you'd love for him to rail you.

His fingers started working on you, slowly caressing your clit and gathering your essence before he entered you, making you sigh. He was staring at you, silently admiring your features that showed just how good he was making you feel. You weren't looking at him, your eyes closed as you tried to focus on the way he was making you feel, but you didn't need to see him to know how much he was grinning, proud to have you biting your lip to not moan too loud. At some point your breathing got heavier and your legs started to tremble, the last signal meaning that you were close was when your walls embraced his fingers, your mouth opened as you found home in the ecstasy-like sensation, Minho tried to prolong it by over stimulating you.

After a moment, he finally removed his fingers from your inside and licked it clean from your juices while you recovered.

"Was that better?" he asked, gaining a humming from you as an answer.

"It was good, but I still want you to fuck me" you finally said, pouting. He opened his eyes wide, as if he was actually surprised, and said:

"You're so greedy, my needy baby wants something else besides my fingers, huh? Go clean yourself and let's go to your house then. I'll give you the best welcome back fuck of your life" he kissed your forehead, waiting for you to stand up after you heard what he said.

"Really?" you asked, full of hope. He nodded, and you almost jumped from the bed to run to the bathroom, standing in front of the door fixing your jeans before walking out the room, remembering that you weren't alone.

You made your way silently to the bathroom, saving your hand at Jeongin who apparently had gone to his room for something and happened to find you on his journey to go back to the living room. He seemed tired, as if he hadn't fully tested, but his memory worked just fine because before you entered the bathroom he told you that they were going to watch a movie and had called for some takeout food for everyone. You thanked him and got inside to do what you had to do.

An hour later, you found yourself cuddling Mingo on the only individual couch after eating and watching a comedy with the rest of the members. Some were on their phone, some still eating and others were cuddling just like you were. It was a relaxed night, and you were having a good time, but the words Minho had told you earlier resonated in your head and your pussy was louder than your heart, screaming at you to act out and make Minho take you home to complete his promise.

Covered with a blanket, your hand snaked down his form and entered his joggers, feeling up his cock. You weren't looking at him to know his reaction, but he quickly squeezed you as a warning to not continue your devilish plans.

You didn't care, continuing to tease him until he got hard enough and that's when you pressed yourself against him. He sighed, but pushed himself against you almost as if encouraging you to keep going.

"Stop, Y/N. We'll leave after the movie is over" he whispered, trying to get you to reason with him.

The answer he got was you pulling his joggers and boxers down with one hand carefully, freeing his hardened cock from its prison and wrapping your hand around him, making him hiss. One of his hands went to your neck, pulling your head back to tell you one last thing.

“Kitten, if you’re going to act like a little brat then I’m going to treat you like a little brat when we get to your house" he murmured, quiet enough for you to listen to his words only.

If you were going to be punished, you might as well continue what you started.

Minho's hold on you tightened when he realized that you had set your mind on torturing him, you knew the risk of possibly getting caught was high and that it made everything way more exciting, but all your tries at being subtle and not drag any attention to the both of you were affecting him horribly. He hated how you ceased all movement when someone shifted or how you tensed when everyone stopped talking was like pure hell for Minho.

His cock twitched, and he faked a yawn to hide the noise that came out of him. You took advantage of it, and played along with it.

"Oh, you're still tired? We should go back to your room so you can sleep, don't you think?" you whispered, long enough for the rest of the members to hear.

Minho caught up with what you were doing, faking another yawn and hugging your body as if you were a plushie. He nodded, and you fixed his clothes quickly so the two of you could stand up.

Minho had other plans, and stood up with you in his arms, the blanket covering his boner. Everyone's eyes were on you two, so you said goodnight and entered the shared room again. Once inside, he didn't even turn the light on, walking straight to the bed after closing the door and dropping you there.

"I can't believe you're making me break Chan's 'no fucking in the dorms' rule" he said, taking his shirt off. You laughed, starting to undress as well.

"As if you really cared about rules" you said, opening your arms for him when you and him were finally fully naked.

"You're right, I only care about you and fucking you. You'll get your punishment later" he replied, hovering over you and positioning his member at your entrance, pressing your foreheads together as he slowly entered you. He kissed you before he started slamming into you, trying to maintain your moans to a minimum so the whole 'going to sleep' act could still be believable to your friends.

With your arms thrown around his neck and your legs hugging his waist, you felt the happiest, like you were in heaven. Finally, Minho was filling you with his cock, making you feel like he was the missing piece in your life that left a hole in your constant day to day with his sole absence, but now he was back, fucking you, kissing you; loving you, and it made your head and your heart swim with happiness, because he was back and you would have him like before he left.

He was thrusting you carefully, slowly but not too much to make you feel bored or annoy you, it was almost the right speed to make the moment last longer, a try to be more passionate with you. Minho's grunts and your heavy breathing were all you cared about, you forgot about everything outside the door, but the way your reasonable side made you moan quietly still brought a sense of reality to you, you whimpered and opened your mouth to exhale, his own breathing on your face making you open your eyes to look at him while he kept working, rocking his hips against yours and trying to make you cum for the second time of the day.

"I love you" you told him quietly, looking up at his sweaty face and pulling him in by his neck to kiss him lovingly like you meant to do when you saw him coming out of the plane.

Minho smiled against your lips, allowing his weight to fall on you and support himself on his left elbow, using his right hand to caress your cheek and move a strand of your hair that had gotten on your face so he could admire you better. When he finished the kiss, you thought he would return to the old position, supporting himself with both arms, but he didn't and instead he started kissing your whole face, making you giggle and close your eyes, with each kiss he left on your face you could say he tried to speed up to finally make you reach your well deserved orgasm, everything in that moment felt so intimate, and the addition of the kisses on your face and him gently cupping your cheek let you know this wasn't simple fucking anymore.

You would make a disgusted face at how cheesy it sounded, but in that very moment you couldn't describe the intimate activity as anything else than love making.

It wouldn't be the first time that Minho treats you as gentle as this, but something… felt different. You couldn't quite tell what it was, maybe because it had been months since you were with him, or because you missed him so much, but the ambient felt more mature in the aspect that you knew that his sweet whispers praising you and reminding you that he loved you as well and that you meant so much to him were not just words.

You wanted to cry, but you knew this wasn't the moment, your quiet moans mixed with giggles and adoring smiles disappeared when the new hard thrusting made your walls tighten around Minho's cock, and without any advice you came. You knew that there was a high percentage that the boys already knew what the two of you were up to thanks to the cracking of the bed and the specific noise of skin slapping sounds, but you still wanted to try and drown your moans to simulate that you were sleeping.

"Ah, baby…" Minho grunted, his face hiding in the crook of your neck to then whisper to you "I'm gonna cum…" followed by the twitching of his cock inside you.

"C-cum inside me, fill me up" you said back, your broken voice and tucked out features when he moved to see you being all he needed to release his seed inside you.

The warm sensation of his semen flowing in you made you smile, and your panting boyfriend pulled out of you to take the tissues box he hid under his bed for all occasions.

You looked at him when he kneeled in front of you to clean you, knowing how tired he actually was by the way his eyes were closing, and you appreciated how he still worried to clean you and not let you all sticky, very sweet of him.

The two of you dressed up lazily, this time laying in bed to sleep like you had said that you would do some time ago.

"I'm so happy you're back, I really missed you" you whispered, your hand resting flat on his chest as you listened to his heart beating under you.

"I'm glad to be back as well, kitten. I thought I would go crazy if I spent more days without seeing you" he joked, patting your head with his hand.

"Let's not think about it now, I had a hard time without cumming when you weren't here" he laughed at your words responding by squeezing you a bit.

"Well, if you're going to be this needy every time I come back, I don't mind leaving you as much" he said back, tone so serious that it scared you.

"You're not being serious, right?" you moved, looking at his face. He had his eyes closed, but the faint shadow of a smile creeping on his lips. He opened them to look at you before he answered you.

"Of course not, kitten. The last thing I want is to be away from you, it's so hard to be far from you when I love you this much" he finally said, making you sigh in relief and your heart throb inside your chest.

"It's not my fault that you love me so much, you're only guilty for making me love you so bad" you smiled, going back to resting on his chest.

"Shhh, you know, that I'm the best that's happened in your life, but we can talk about how awesome I am later, now sleep. I promise I'll be here when you wake up" he moved, shifting to press a kiss on your forehead.

"I hope so, you promised me the fuck of my life when we go to my house and I can't wait for that" you laughed, poking his side.

"We'll see when tomorrow comes, but sleep first. Good night, baby, I love you."

[mc-tummy-blur]

Nah bro not certain people giving Turning Red a bad review because of how it talked about periods/puberty explicitly (even though without it being said outright it would’ve been implied anyway, which I'll explain in a second), that the humor was cringey, or how there were "stereotypes" (like they dont even specify what steroetypes they saw in the movie I swear they just say "theres stereotypes" but don't elaborate).

Like WOW who wouldve thought that a film set in the 2000s would include DATED humor from that era? Like those reviewers haven’t had cringy moments/humor in their adolescent life. You at least get one as a treat (I swear they sound like those 9th graders that say the 8th graders are immature even though they were just an 8th grader under 3 months ago). Or who would've thought that a film called TURNING RED would openly discuss periods, as if millions of girls/women around the world do not experience their underwear "turning red" every month for one week from the ages 10 (the earliest) to 50s (the lastest). Or, oh, how the so-called stereotypes (seriously the reviewers don't specify what stereotypes. Like do they mean Racial? Gender? What kids do at the ages of 13??? I literally dont know) that are in the movie, when an ASIAN WOMAN directed this, so I'd imagine that it be really hard for her to include any stereotypes, or have any stereotypes be allowed in this movie that tried to make it's way into productions. She obviously incorporated her experiences growing up, as well as others who had helped work on this! Like, Domee Shi was 13 years old in 2002, the same age and year that Mei is in the movie, like, HELLO?!

I should note that I am not of Asian descent however. I’m Mexican and a AFAB, so I'm really only qualified for the period talk. If anyone who is Asian could tell me if there are any stereotypes in this movie, big or small, please let me know. Or if certain cultural aspects were represented either accurate/somewhat accurate/not accurate. I'd like to learn and educate myself on these topics.

These negative reviews that arent based on any proper criticism ARE few and far between, at least from what I saw so far. Hopefully it stays that way. They could be baiting people like me who knows. It’s just irritating to see. Just go watch the movie instead and decide for yourself if this movie is good or not to you. Me personally, I love it. I'm glad that Pixar is making these types of films. Hopefully, after certain recent events that happen with Disney (which is a whole can of worms that still angers me but I dont wanna put that in this post), Disney will allow for more movies like this, as well as the discussion/representation for other topics. *CoughCough DisneySayGay CoughCough*

Anyway if anyone who worked on Turning Red/personally knows people who worked on it, is somehow reading this. Please know that this movie means a lot to people in many ways. Keep up that good work.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

The Perfect Bad Boy (Pt. 15 of 18)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 3 K

Summary: Working as a lifeguard in the Hawkins Community Pool, you try to fit in after moving from New York. Things were going pretty well when you notice you've been under someone's stare. Billy Hargrove, Hawkins' bad boy, has been staring at you since day one. You never intended to have anything to do with him, judging by the reputation he has. But Billy won't leave you alone, determined to show you his feelings are different this time...

As if your heart flooding you with confusing feelings wasn't enough, there are weird, strange animals lurking in the woods... But those have to be just part of the wild live of the woods surrounding Hawkins... Right?

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

×

Missing

There are seven holes. Seven. But they aren't seven different nests, they're tunnels, with seven openings to the surface of the Earth. You only know that because Eleven spent the whole night focused on finding them, seated in the living room of Joyce's place, a piece of fabric covering her eyes. The map from before remained on the floor beside her, and she reached out to draw where the tunnels reach. You barely had any sleep, just the pair of hours you slept with your head on Billy's shoulder, seated on the couch, but someone's voice woke you up.

Relief fills your heart when the morning comes. During the night, you could only think about those things lurking around. After a quick shower, and using one of Eleven's shirt, you go to the kitchen and decide to have breakfast there, where you can be alone. Eating a bowl of cereal, you run a hand through your hair, trying to understand how are you going back to the pool today and act like none of this is happening.

“Hey, princess,” Billy says, coming into the kitchen. Hair is still wet and wearing only his jacket. “Are you ok?”

“I'm trying to be.” Pushing the bowl away, you watch as he makes himself the same meal you had. “Wondering how am I going to work today.”

“Wanna stay here? I can tell Anthony that you're sick. If he even shows up.”

“No. It'll be worse if I stay.” You're confused, not sure what's the best or what's worse. But at least in the pool you'll have something normal going on.

“Hey, you two,” Joyce says as she comes in. Her voice gets your attention, and when you look at her after exchanging a glance with Billy, you see that Hopper is right behind her, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed together. “How are you two doing?”

“Uhm... Good.” It sounds like a question. Joyce sits at the table, with Hopper standing behind her. He has the chief face on, and you have no idea why. “Everything alright? Are we in trouble or something?” Gesturing at you and Billy, and cross your legs, an eye on the clock because you'll still need to stop by home to get the swimsuit.

“No, of course not. It's just that the kids were talking about something and–”

“Are you two living together?" Hopper speaks up, swallowing Joyce's words. She gives him a hard stare, and there's some kind of conversation going on through facial expressions that you can't understand.

“Yes.” You answer, not sure why you're in this situation in the first place. You feel like you're having the talk with Diane all over again. Diane. You have to call her, just to make sure everything is alright. “Why?”

“There were some rumors running around that–”

“That Billy Hargrove got some chick pregnant.” Hopper again. But this time Joyce slaps his arm.

“We agreed you'd let me do this.” She whispers.

“Then just get to the damn point.” He snaps back.

With wide eyes, you look at Billy. He doesn't seem bothered by this, peacefully eating his cereal. There's a smile on his lips that he tries to hold back, but you know him far too well now. You can see it. He's having fun.

“Look, guys, Uhm... These rumors started after I fainted on the pool, but it was from heat exhaustion, so...” Deciding to just end whatever this is, you speak up, kicking Billy's leg and whispering to him. “Say something.”

“(Y/N), honey, do your parents know about that?”

This makes you laugh, but then you remember Joyce doesn't know about your relationship, or better saying, the lack of it. “No, and I don't plan on doing that. But my aunt Diane does.”

“And she allowed it?” Hopper takes his time pronouncing every word as if this is absurd. “You're lucky you're not my daughter.”

“Hopper, just...” Joyce mumbles, her voice fading. “We just wanted to make sure you guys are... You know... Going somewhere with this. Living together is something really big and important to do.”

“I'll only say two things.” Billy finally makes his presence known, getting up and throwing his bowl in the sink. “First of all, I'm planning on marrying (Y/N). Second, we better go now or we'll be late. Again.”

There's a weird buzz in your ears as Billy takes your hand and starts pulling you with him. Joyce and Hopper have wide eyes, mouth half-open, in shock. You're not that different, and all your body is able to do is keep following Billy outside and to his car. You're silently looking through the window as he drives, but you're doing that on purpose, just to get back at him for saying that out of the blue.

“Aren't you gonna say anything?” He asks parking in front of the house.

“Absolutely not.” Stepping out of the car, you don't wait for him, heading inside. “If you really wanna do what you said, I'll patiently wait until you propose, Hargrove.” Turning around just enough to wink at him, you bite back a smile.

You're quick to get ready and manage not to be late. The song is blasting when Billy pulls over on his parking spot, and the moment the song is gone, you hear the chattering, noticing three police cars.

Your heart skips a beat when you leave the car, taking a deep breath. “Hey,” Billy calls, taking your hand. “Let's check what happened before jumping to conclusions, ok?”

“Ok.” Holding his arm, you move to the entrance, where a small crowd gathers. Hopper is here, and by the messy way of his clothes, he had to run over here. He immediately notices you and Billy, a sad look on his face. And that's when you see Monica, running a hand through her hair, tears glistening on her cheeks.

“Mon?” Calling, you let go of Billy and runs to her. Monica breaks a little bit when she sees you, and you're quick to hug her. “Mon, what happened?”

“It's Jason. My cousin is missing, (Y/N).” She cries on your shoulder, and you close your eyes tight because the first thing that comes to your head is probably what got him. The Demodogs. “He went out yesterday to buy dinner a-and his mom called mine saying he was taking long and...” You pull away, holding her hands. “...that was early evening yesterday. And he's still missing. The family spent the whole night looking for him and–”

“Mon, I'm sure we'll find him.” It's hard to lie. It's even harder not to break down in front of her. “Maybe he felt bad and fainted or something like that. We'll find him.”

“I hope so.”

“I'll drive you home, ok? Billy can keep the pools safe for one day.”

When she nods, drying off some tears, you make your way over him, who's talking to Hopper. He probably already knows, but you try to keep a straight face.

“Come here, princess.” He opens his arms and you don't even hesitate, hugging him tightly. “I'm so sorry. But we'll find him. The party is already aware of everything.” Whispering on my ear, Billy places a kiss on the top of your hair.

“I...” Getting rid of the single tear that escaped your efforts to hold it back, you pull away. “I'll take her home, she's very shaken. Can you just keep an eye–”

“Keep an eye on the kids, of course.” He bends over to kiss you, and your arms, almost automatically, move to be around his neck. “I'll pick you up after work, ok? I love you.”

“I love you.” It still makes you blush to hear those words, but you absolutely love to say it back. After one last kiss, you part ways.

Monica talks as you drive to her place, sharing memories with her cousin. Some of them you already know, but you don't stop her, laughing and making silly comments, trying to keep her mind away from the fact that Jason is missing.

Your mind also starts remembering. Obviously, you didn't have all the time around Jason that Monica had, but he was one of the first people you met when you got here. He's always smiling, carrying his siblings around, always complaining, but always happy to be with them. Jason is funny, even when he's the only one who actually gets his jokes.

Jason is missing.

Demidogs need a lot of food. An almost 6 feet tall male human has a lot of meat.

Shaking your head lightly, you push these thoughts away. No breaking down now. Monica needs you strong, to keep her strong too. Her family is either at Jason's or still looking, so you're alone. Both of you stay seated on her bed, and you give her your shoulder when she starts crying again. He's gone for one night and she's already losing it... If anything bad happens...

Her parents return home a couple of hours later, thankful to you for taking her back home. You drag her into the living room, turning the TV on this random movie and trying to convince her to pay some attention. You can hear her parents in the kitchen, making lunch, but you also hear when her mother cries, the low, cracking voice as she talks to her husband. It's getting hard by the minute to stay here, pretending you don't know what probably happened, but if you cry, if you start doubting Jason is ok, Monica will break apart.

A knock on the door, an unusually loud and frenetic knock, gets your attention. Looking over your shoulder, you see as Monica's father goes to answer it.

“Hi. Is (Y/N) here?” You hear a feminine voice, and you soon recognize it's Nancy.

Excusing yourself, you get up. “Yes, she's–”

“Hey.” You go to the front door, seeing Nancy and two cars in the sidewalk, many eyes looking at you. “Something wrong?”

“Sorry, but we need you. Uhm... Maxine is sick. We need to have a doctor check on her.”

“What?” You exclaim, running a hand through your hair. “Mon.” Calling her, you quickly make your way back to the living room. “I'm so sorry, but Maxine is feeling ill, I have to go. But I promise I'll call you later, ok?”

“Sure. Go help.” She says, nodding and clearing her throat since her voice is all clouded by her crying.

“Stay calm, honey. Jason is alright, I'm sure.” Another lie. You shouldn't make promises you don't know if you can keep. Giving her a quick hug, you run outside, muttering a goodbye to Mon's father as Nancy does the same.

“We'll go looking for him.” She says in a low voice as you move toward the cars. “We don't stand still when shit happens.”

Her choice of words makes you raise your eyebrows. You never heard her saying anything like that. “Thanks.” Muttering, you seat shotgun in Steve's car as she goes to Jonathan's. There are four kids on the back seat, fighting for some more space. You're happy to see Max is alright. For a moment, you thought she was really sick.

You park in the woods, and there are already some people here. Everyone but Hopper, because he has to be in the official search party, and Billy. God, you wish Billy was here.

“Alright, let's do this,” Mike says, and he freely starts separating you in groups. “Eleven and Will with me. Lucas, Jonathan, and Robin. Uhm... Max, Steve, and (Y/N). Joyce–”

“Why are you messing up the groups, man. I wanna go with Max.” Lucas complains and Mike rolls his eyes. “Groups of four, as usual.”

“Since when?”

“Alright, just gather in groups, c'mon, guys,” Joyce says, eyeing both her kids until they go to stand by her side, alongside Nancy.

You move to stand with Max and Lucas, and after playing rock, paper, scissors with Robin, Steve comes to your group. You raise your eyebrows at him, trying to get why they had to use that method to choose a group. “Nobody wants to be with these two lovebirds.” He says when he's close enough.

“That's something I can understand.” There's no doubt Max and Lucas are into each other, but they're constantly fighting. It's funny to watch, actually.

“Let's get started then, guys. Be careful, pay attention to the radios, and let's find Jason.” Joyce announces, taking over Hopper's role in this.

And everyone starts moving, each group in a different direction. You're going to the holes first, just to check, and then you'll cover a specific area. Max and Lucas are once again responsible for the map and walk a couple of feet ahead.

“Hey. Take this.” Steve gets your attention, taking the bat from his backpack and handing it over to you. “I know Jason was a close friend of yours. Sorry this happened.”

“Yeah.” You lay the bat over your shoulder, careful not to entangle your hair in the nails. “I really thought it couldn't get any worse but life proved me wrong.”

“I remember when Will went missing. I was a total jerk back then so I didn't really care.” You glance over to Steve, and he has an apologetic look on his face. “They found the body and there was a funeral. But the body was fake and Will was fine in the end.”

“Someone should make a movie out of that story.” You mumble, taking a deep breath. “Do you think Jason could be in the... Upside Down?”

“No. According to Eleven, no portals were open. The Demodogs just made these woods into their new home and are doing what it takes to survive.” Through the corner of your eyes, you see when he almost slips, opening his arms slightly to regain balance. “Don't laugh.” He says, but you're already chuckling. “Anyway, wherever he is, he's here.”

“Why don't we tell Eleven to just use her powers and find him. Wouldn't it be easier?”

“These woods are huge. And we usually just do that when it's the last resource.” Lucas answers.

“We don't like pushing her. It always brings back sad memories.”

That's something you can understand perfectly. “We do it the old way then.” You've seen how complicated it is. Eleven's nose wouldn't stop bleeding while she was figuring out the tunnels, and after while blood came out of her ears too. As much as you want to find Jason, you'd never ask her or the party to do something just so you'd feel better. They're in it far longer than you, so you trust them to make the decisions and set the pace. “I just hope he's alright. He's Monica's cousin, and she's worried to death.”

“Yeah, I get that.” It doesn't go unnoticed how Steve doesn't make false promises as you did with Monica. He doesn't say he's ok, that you'll find him. Running a hand through your hair, you take a deep breath, confused between having hopes or just expecting the worse. “So, changing the subject.” He speaks again. “You and Hargrove. I never thought Billy would actually fall in love.”

A smile comes to your lips, and you're thankful for having something else to think about. “Yeah. It took a while for me to believe that but he... He worked hard.” Involuntary, your hand goes for the necklace, fingers playing with the earring.

“Joyce and Hopper were saying something about marriage...” It sounds like a question, and you give Steve a glance, giggling. “They were trying not to let anyone hear them but Hopper doesn't really know how to whisper.”

By the heat spreading through your cheeks, you know you're blushing. Could it be real? Would Billy marry you? Is he really considering such a thing? “We spoke about it, Uhm... Twice, I think. But not a real conversation, he just spilled it out.”

“Holy shit, he's going serious with you then.” He playfully elbows your arm. By what you've seen and by what Max told you, Steve usually grows protective of everyone since he joined the party, and you think it's cute. He's like everyone's babysitter. “Send me an invitation, would you?”

“I will.”

“You–”

Maxine's yell cuts him short, getting your attention as you notice you have fallen behind. Immediately, you and Steve start running towards then.

“Man, that's...” Lucas says as Max hugs him, eyes tightly shut.

You're about to ask them what the hell happened when you follow Lucas' scared stare.

It's a weird sensation when you're brain refuses to take in the information. When your eyes, focused on something, are blind. And your ears are deaf and the wind blowing doesn't touch your skin. It's like you're not there.

Jason's body is stuck between a big rock and a dead tree. His torso is opened up, and there's nothing inside.

As there's nothing inside Jason anymore. He's empty. Body and soul. There will be no laughter leaving his lips, no more jokes, no more arms to carry his baby siblings around. Nothing. Just flesh and bones, both ripped apart.

“(Y/N).” You're sure it's not the first time you hear someone calling your name, but you're not even sure where it comes from.

You only move when an arm pulls you, and you feel it around you. “We have to go. C'mon.” Steve says, and, far and distant, you hear static, and voices, coming from the radio. “(Y/N).”

“I need Billy.” It's the only thing that comes to your head, and you find a way to force the words out of your throat.

“Alright, let's go,” Steve says, and you're only set on motion because of his arm around your shoulders.

Everything is a blur. You notice people moving around, and some of them come to hug you as they start regrouping near the cars. Nodding and thanking their kind words, you remain silent, arms crossed, the image still burning in your brain.

Jason's rib cage broken open, the blood staining his clothes and the ground around him. His head twisted in an awkward way, neck probably disconnected from the body.

“Let's get moving. She wants to talk to Billy.”

“The pool will close in an hour. Take her home.”

“No, she's scaring me. We need to take her to Billy.” Max intervenes, and Steve pulls you to his car. You let Max seat shotgun, feeling better in the backseat where you can curl into a ball, knees pressed against your chest as the landscape passes by.

It reminds you the first time you saw that thing. You were trying to beat Billy, driving back to your place. Maybe, if you had gone to the police station the next day, let them know something was out there, you could've avoided this. But who would believe you? You didn't believe it either. What are you going to tell Monica? After saying things would be ok, that they would find Jason alive and well when you knew being out in the woods all night long probably meant he'd become Demodog's meal.

You knew it, yet you lied. Vain hope is the worst kind of hope, and that's what you gave her.

“(Y/N).” Steve gets your attention, touching your shoulder. “We're at the pool.”

Blinking a few times to wake up from the stupor, you bolt out of the car, making your way to the entrance. It's crowded today, but you don't see faces, you just see obstacles.

It finally starts kicking in.

You went to find Jason, and you did. But instead of the dear friend you so easily grew to love, you found a dead, empty corpse. The tears threat to overflow as you rudely bump into people, making your way through the pool. At a distance, you see the moment Billy finally notices the commotion, his eyes quick to find you. By the way his face changes, the way he takes off his sunglasses and jumps to the ground, shoving people out of his way, you must be looking terrible.

But you don't care. Billy is everything you need, the only thing you see and you know you can break down in his arms. You just need to reach him, and when you do, you collapse against his chest, not able to hold back the tears anymore, the sobs building up your throat as you hold onto him.

“I'm so sorry,” Billy mumbles in your ear. He knows. How could he not?

You suddenly feel him lifting you up, and you hide your teary face on the crook of his neck. Seconds later you're at the locker room, and Billy screams for the other girls to get out as he puts you down, seated on one of the benches.

“I'm so sorry, (Y/N).” He repeats, kneeled before you, thumbs coming to dry off some tears, just to make space for more.

“I saw him. H-he was all eaten, Billy. His body was-his body was wide open and everything was gone–”

“Stop, stop.” He begs, pulling you into a hug. “You don't have to tell me, not now.” Nodding, you take in his scent, feeling safe, secure, despite the terror creeping under your skin. “I'll take you home, ok?”

“No.” You mutter, pulling away just enough so you're foreheads are touching. You don't know what comes to you, but this has to be said. This feeling has to be let out. Not after, not tomorrow. Now. Maybe it's the fact that you saw death for the very first time. You just need to let him know “You're my home.”

×

@chloe-skywalker @dpaccione @dreamin-of-dacre @funeral-7 @uncookspaget @youhavemyfantasticbeasts @halloweenbitch2764 @redlovett @multific @shinydixon @nikkixostan @clockworkballerina @nope-thanks

[non-binharry]

hi asia hope you're doing well <33

so, um, this may sound confusing or weird idk butI apologizein advance x

It's been a couple months since I've started doubting my gender, before that I never gave it much thought but being here on tumblr and watching people talk about and interact about topics related to their gender and how they feel about it and all sorts of stuff, I've just started to wonder that what if I'm not a girl? yk? like Idk I just. its hard to describe i mean. I like growing my hair out, I like painting my nails, I like wearing make up and dresses and skirts and stuff and all that but I also like wearing men's clothes? like literally men's clothes I wear my dad's shirts and pants (the one's he accidently bought the wrong sizes of) and I also wear my older cousin brother's clothes idk what you can make of that and idk if it sounds strange or whatever but like in my family, I'm not allowed to wear anything too revealing, like skirts, tight tops or pants, crop tops and all that stuff so my father kinda likes it when i go for more masculine clothing (im so sorry if I sound stereotypical here I honestly have no other way to express it) and well the point I'm trying (and possibly failing) to make here is that, I don't know how to feel like a girl or a boy. If girly behaviour is the kind they show in movies and stuff like all the shy and giggly and the way of walkng and talking and all that stuff, none of the apparent females I've known in my life ever behaved like that (some have in a way but not as much) so it's just confusing to me. Like what does being a girl mean? and what does being a boy mean? and what does being both and being nothing mean? like. how do you realize what you are? I've always had trouble to describe myself, it feels a lot like I have zero clue who I am, what I am and it feels so shitty, being lost and just not knowing what you are. I know what I'm supposed to be. but I don't know if I wanna be that. I don't know what I wanna be.

I just made no sense at all did I? God, so sorry for wasting your time, I must have sounded so nonsensical. Just ignore this if you want to I won't mind at all.

But , if you can, if it is possible for you and you won't mind, can you just maybe tell me what it feels like for you? like can you maybe express yourself, your gender to me? I think that can help? but only if you're comfortable and it's totally fine if you aren't. once again sorry I wrote a whole ass essay up here i'll shut up now

hope you have a good day <3

hi love!! i want to first apologize for sitting on this message for so long!

i didn't want to respond until i knew exactly what i wanted to say and if i'm being honest, i still don't know what to say.

i can direct you to this tag, where i've given advice on this sort of thing before including this post where i give tips on how to explore your identity and discover who you are. i can direct you to my own post i made recently where i show the first time i really verbalized how i was feeling when i came to realize i wasn't your average cis girlie.

i've never felt comfortable or right identifying as a girl/woman. the idea of being perceived as a woman scared me, despite the way that i presented externally. i've posted about this moment before, about when i was like 19/20... and my mom and sister had taken my grandma to the mall, so i was left home with my dad and nephews. and my dad said "all the ladies are gone. it's just the fellas, and asia — no offense." that was one of the best moments of euphoria for me, which i didn't even realize at the time, because i liked being seen as neither, or both, or everything in between. i don't have any concrete relationship with binary gender, and i'm happy existing and identifying this way because it's what feels right to me.

you seem on the fence about your own identity, and your self doubt makes it difficult for me to gauge you. but even just having the kind of curiosity about yourself shows that you have a relationship with gender that most people would not even consider, whether that means cis gender non-conformity, non-binary, genderqueer, whatever.

gender is not a one size fits all, so there's no way to describe what it means to be a girl that can't also fit someone else's personal idea of what it means to be a boy or what it means to be non-binary. it's all entirely at your hands, and you'll know what feels right for you one day, and i hope you get to a place where you've discovered exactly who you are. 🤍

[eddiesfaerie]

okay like... sackler anxiously confessing his feelings for reader (maybe they're besties?). with kiss prompts 1, 2, 22. and from the misc prompts "i see you. i know you feel so invisible all the time, but you're not. not to me." sorry its vague lol feel free to feel it out however you like. (i'm still feeling THINGS for baby sackler today lmao)

omg my baby hello<3 no i love this, thank you so much for sending. i kinda made this super long by accident so i ended it kinda abruptly so sorry if the ending SUCKS. i really hope you like it 🥺

1.6k words: angst, hurt/comfort, season 1 Sackler, shitty friends (1) small kisses littered across the other’s face, (2) a small, fleeting kiss - which is immediately followed by a passionate, hungry kiss, (22) a kiss that is leading to more, but is interrupted by a third party.

Another night of watching your friends go out as you sat on your couch, your phone overheating in your hand, burning your skin. You drop it, flinging it across the couch.

You didn’t even want to go out. You liked your alone time. You craved it, needed it to recharge from being around so many people all the time. You liked your friends, you loved them but…

But they’re different from you. Which is fine. Different is good, different is necessary.

You were upset because it was another night of being ignored, forgotten. No invitation whatsoever to go out with them. It’s not like you would have said yes, you probably would have declined.

It was the absence of the offer, again and again, that stung, that drove that knife deeper into your back. Sometimes you were so sick of them. Sometimes you hated them, sometimes you wish you had different friends. But everyone felt that way sometimes.

Adam was the only one of your friends that was straight edge. When your friends started ignoring you months ago, you called him. You got close really fast, faster than you were expecting but you weren’t complaining. You found comfort in each other, found comfort in the fact that you both sort of resented your friends in similar ways and preferred staying inside on Saturday nights.

He was the only person you allowed yourself to talk shit with, you were not one for talking about people behind their backs but with Adam… with Adam it almost felt like it didn’t count.

So you called him.

Your phone had cooled down, no longer holding those burning images, videos of your friends having the time of their life without you. Fuckers.

You asked if you could come over. He said sure. You locked your door behind you and walked up a flight of stairs, knocking on Adam’s door. You forgot sometimes that he lived right above you. You tried not to think about how you could hear too clearly every time he had a girl over, the way the floor would creak with the added weight on his bed, the stomping of feet, the muffled cries of pleasure. Your heart sank to the depths of your stomach and you cringed as he opened the door.

“Hey, kid.” He knew something was wrong with the way your lip trembled, the way your eyes were rubbed red.

“Hey.” You shoved passed him and into his apartment, plopping yourself down on his floor, in front of his stacks of movies, quickly trying to pick one out before he asked any questions. You were also trying to ignore the way he was shirtless, only wearing those weird jeans, the ones with the fade you hated so much. He was shirtless all the time, you don’t know why tonight it was serving as a distraction, irritating you in different places.

“Wanna watch something?” You asked, willing your voice not to tremble as you spoke. He noticed it anyways. 

“Sure, sure yeah pick anything. I’ll make popcorn.” Adam left you alone in the living room to pick something while you tried to fucking compose yourself. Deep breath after deep breath, quickly wiping your eyes with the back of your hand. No wonder he called you kid, you were being so stupidly childish.

Adam came back into the living room just as you were pushing the CD into the disc player, quickly jumping on his yellow couch, folding in on yourself, hugging your knees to your chest. He silently placed the bowl of popcorn in between the two of you, his eyes glancing at you every now and then, wondering to himself if he should ask or just leave it be. When he could tell you weren’t paying attention to the movie, one that you had already watched together a dozen times, he decided to say something.

“You gonna tell me what’s wrong or are you just waste a perfectly good viewing of our favourite movie, hmm?” Adam ignored the way his heart flipped the fuck out when he said ‘our’. There was really no ‘our’, though. You were just friends, you were just friends, you were just friends.

You hugged your knees tighter to your chest, hiding your face behind them and inhaling deeply, praying the tears away.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about?” Your words were muffled by your legs, it came out completely unintelligible.

“Kid, I can’t fucking hear you.” Adam said, trying not to laugh. He let his hand rest on the back of your neck, letting his thumb glide along the skin, trying to comfort you. He could feel the goosebumps he was leaving behind in his wake. You sighed loudly, throwing your head back against the back of the couch, caging Adam’s hand to your neck. You liked it there. Liked how big it was, how it wrapped all the way around your neck too easily.

“I just… I’m so... ugh.” You were getting frustrated with yourself. 

It felt so dumb to be so upset over something you didn’t even care that much about, and it felt even more dumb trying to explain it to Adam who you knew felt the same way about his friends. His hand squeezed the back of your neck softly, Adam swears he heard a low whimper but he brushed that thought away, that wasn’t important right now, not when he could see more tears filling your eyes.

“Hey, hey I’m here, kid. I’m listening.” You nodded your head, hearing him but tears started falling down your cheeks. So fucking embarrassing, you thought to yourself. Adam whispered your name and you swore it melted you further, so you leaned into him a bit, unfolding your legs and turning to face him better. His breath hitched in his throat at the sudden closeness. You had opened up more than he was expecting you to.

“I just hate them sometimes.” You said quietly, obviously embarrassed. You knew you didn’t have to explain it in depth to him, you knew he knew what you were talking about, who you were talking about. Adam nodded his head, letting his hand run along the expanse of your neck, petting your hair gently. It was so distracting. More tears slipped down your cheeks and Adam, unthinking, let his hand move to brush along your cheek, holding it as his thumb wiped your tears away.

Your skin was warm, burning underneath his palm and he fought with his instincts. He knew he was a shitty person, he knew that he’s done shitty things to a lot of girls. Girls that deserved better. But you… you didn’t even compare, he couldn’t even begin to explain that. He treated you differently, even you knew that. He was nicer to you, sweeter to you. Maybe it was because you guys were such good friends. But Adam knew differently.

“I see you. I know you feel invisible all the time, but you’re not... Not to me.” His voice is so hushed, so soft. You had never heard him speak like that before, never felt him so softly. His voice was warm and fuzzy around you, you could drown in him. You kind of wanted to. You leaned into his touch, absentmindedly pressing your lips to his palm, chaste little kisses, thanking him silently.

Adam hesitated. You saw the way in which he twitched forward towards you. You kissed his palm again, telling him it was okay. He leaned in more, letting his lips brush against your cheek for a few moments before pressing a real kiss to your hot, flustered skin. Your eyes close as you let his lips, those rose petal, plush lips, trail kisses all along your face. He kissed your cheeks, your tears, your eyes, eyebrows, forehead. Everywhere you let him until the only place left untouched was your lips.

Cautiously, he pressed his lips to the corner of your mouth, then the other one, tantalizingly slow. You whimper, you couldn’t have imagined holding it in. His eyes meet yours for a fleeting moment, you give the slightest of nods before his lips press into yours, granting you the softest of kisses.

He pulls away from you, afraid he had over stepped even though you seemed to have nodded for him to continue. He barely meets your eyes again before yours are closing, hands grabbing his neck, pulling him back to your mouth. He groans against your lips, he groans your name and you swear it never sounded so good. You melt into him, letting his hands hold you, grope you wherever he wants. His tongue glides into your mouth, his jaw working on your mouth to consume you, you feel whole with his mouth on you like this. He makes you feel okay.

Adam begins to lean over you, pressing your back lower on the couch but he grabs your leg, dragging you down the couch in one swift movement so he can hover over you. You yelp and giggle at his strength as he manhandles you down the couch, his body laying in between your parted thighs. You feel something growing with arousal, pressing into your harshly as he grinds his hips into yours, his mouth never leaving yours for a moment.

“Adam.” You moan softly into his mouth, hips grinding up into his, your hands exploring the bare expanse of his wide back. He moans when you sink your nails into him. He sits up abruptly, pushing his hair out of his face, his cheeks and chest flushed pink. He looks down at you, your disheveled appearance matching his own. He hooks his fingers in the waistband of your pants, searching your eyes for an answer.

“This okay?” You nod your head quickly, bottom lip pulled tightly between your teeth.

“Yeah-”

The unlocking of the front door sends Adam’s head twisting and your body scrambling to not be sitting in such a compromising position. His roommate walks in, a knowing smirk stretching across his face as he watches the two of you return to normal sitting positions. It sends a chill down your spine, butterflies erupting in your stomach.

“Could’ve just put a sock on the door, Sackler.” Adam rolls his eyes, not saying anything to his roommate as he walks through the living room, into the kitchen and then into his room, shutting the door behind him loudly.

A/N i wanna write more for sackler so badly hngngnng

[jjmaybanksblog]

Death Bed (Coffee for Your Head)- Rafe Cameron

(Not my gif, credit to the owner!)

Summary: Based on Death Bed (Coffee for Your Head) by Powfu and Beabadoobe

Word count: 3,181

Warnings: (Lung) Cancer, hospitalization, cursing, sadness, mentions of death, death.

I sobbed writing this I'm not gonna lie

Don't stay awake for too long, don't go to bed. I'll make a cup of coffee for your head, I'll get you up and going out of bed.

Rafe Cameron sat there in the doctor's office, his eyes glazed over and his jaw slacked as the doctor stared at him with a pitied look. Six words repeated in his mind, 'you have stage four lung cancer'. He was only 22, how did this happen so soon? 

He rubbed his hands over his face vigorously, cracking his knuckles after he stopped. "How long do I have?" "Some people don't survive more than 12 months, and if you're lucky, the latest I've seen is 5 years but that's with every single treatment."  He flared his nostrils as he held back his tears, he wanted to be around one person and one person only; you. 

Rafe showed up at your door after his appointment, a bouquet of rose's in his hand and a card in the other. You grinned at his kind gesture, your heart swelling with joy. He thought he would have to plaster a smile on his face, but the moment he saw you, a genuine smile appeared on his face. For the slightest moment, he forgot that he was dying.

You two spent the night together, cuddling and watching movies. Rafe held you close to him, his fingers skimming every part of your body, wanting to relish the feeling of you under his fingers. He checked the time and realized it was 3 in the morning and he was still awake. 

You shifted in your spot before turning your body to face his, your hand reaching up and combing his blonde locks out of his face. "Don't stay awake for too long baby, you need rest." You mumbled, half asleep. "I know, I know. I just have a bad headache." He lied. Truth is, he wanted to stay awake and just admire how you looked next to him, curled up in his chest, allowing him to see your natural beauty.

"I'll make you a cup of coffee in the morning and I have plenty of ibuprofen to share." You grinned, pressing a delicate kiss to his neck. "Goodnight, my love." He whispered as he kissed your forehead in return, watching you fall back into your sleep.

I don't wanna fall asleep, I don't wanna pass away. I've been thinking of our future 'cause I'll never see those days.

Rafe rubbed his eyes with his hands as he yawned, today was his third day without sleeping. He told you that he just kept waking up in the middle of the night but eventually he did go back to sleep. You believed him, offering any help to find resolutions but he politely denied them.

Truth was, everytime he fell asleep he had dreams about your future with him. The most recent one he had was of you two, married with two children. You two had moved out of the Outer Banks, wanting a new start. In this dream, he survived the cancer so he wanted a fresh start. Away from the toxic memories he had from that town.

It pained him every time he had a thought about your future, at least what he wanted your future with him to be. He wanted to make you so happy, he wanted to be the reason you woke up every morning and vice versa. You were his everything, and it killed him to know that soon it would come to an end.

I don't know why this has happened but I probably deserve it. I tried to do my best but you know that I'm not perfect.

You sat down on the couch, legs criss crossed as Rafe paced back and forth in front of you. He was mumbling to himself as you sat there confused, trying to calm down the nerves you knew he had. You didn't know what was going on which only worried you.

"Rafe, baby just sit next to me and talk to me." He sat down next to you, his elbows resting on his knees, terrified to look you in the eyes. You scooted closer to him and grabbed one of his hands, "breathe." Was all you said before he closed his eyes, deeply inhaling and exhaling for a few seconds before turning and looking at you.

You could finally see how scared he was, he looked like he hadn't slept, his eyes were pink and watery, the bags under his eyes were a light purple. You turned your body to face him, "Rafe, what's wrong?" He turned to you, mirroring the way you were sitting. "I have stage four lung cancer." 

His words felt like you fell face first in cement from a fifty foot drop. "W-what?" You stuttered, your voice just above a whisper. He nodded his head as he watched your eyes release tears. Your mouth fell open but you quickly covered it with your hand. You tried to speak but the only sound you could make was a gasping sound, like a fish out of water.

"I have maybe 12 months to live." Your mouth was dry, your heart felt like it was somehow racing and stopping at the same time. Your world felt like it fell out of space and shattered. You wanted to know how long he knew, but it didn't matter. Moral of the story was that you wanted him to live a good life for as long as he lived, and that's what you were gonna do. 

You didn't say anything, you simply crawled to him and straddled his lap. Your arms wrapped around his neck and he held your waist, allowing you two to cry into each other’s necks. He held you like if he were to let go, you would disappear forever.

“I got you Rafe, I got you." Your hand reached up and entangled itself in his hair, gently massaging it. "Why did this have to happen? Right when I was finally feeling happy." He screamed into your neck. 

"I don't hunny. I don't know." You whispered.

I've been praying for forgiveness, you've been praying for my health. When I leave this Earth, hoping you'll find someone else.

Rafe turned his head to look at you, making sure you were fast asleep before he slowly got out of bed. Replacing his body with a pillow, he snuck out of the room and outside of your house.

He made his way to the backyard and sat down on the grass, laying back as he looked up at the stars. He took a deep breath before speaking out loud. "Hi, uh- God. I don't know how this works, I don't know how to pray or even if you're up there, but if you are I need you to hear what I have to say."

A star above him shined brighter for a split second before disappearing behind a cloud. "I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for the disrespectful and disgusting teenager I was. I'm sorry for all the horrible things I did to my body. I'm sorry for the crimes I committed and never got caught. I admit to everything I have done wrong, I understand why you're taking it out on me. But please, leave Y/N out of this. She is the light of my life, the reason I was able to find happiness. Please don't take my actions out on her, make her fall out of love with me or something. Just...just something to ease her pain. Please."

•

Rafe was out at the grocery store, leaving you plenty of time to head over to the neighborhood church. You walked out of your car with sunglasses on so people couldn't see your red and watery eyes. You excused yourself as you shimmied through a small group of people.

You walked into the chapel and sat down in one of the pews. You removed your sunglasses before looking up at the front of the room. You let out a puff of air before speaking out loud. "Hi, God. I really don't know what I'm doing or why I'm even trying to talk to you. But I just, I'm so desperate and I just need your help. Please, please help Rafe. Help him at least live longer than a year, he wasn't the best person when he was a teenager, you know that. But he's changed into a whole new person, he knows how he was before and he hates it now. Please help him recover through this, help him pull through because I need him here. He was the one I was supposed to marry, the one who would be the father of my children, the one to help give me my happy ending. Please."

When I leave this Earth hoping you'll find someone else, 'cause yeah, we're still young there's so much we haven't done.

You shook your head at Rafe's words as you wiped your tears away with your hands. "No, there's no way." You cried out. He grabbed both your wrists and made you look at him. "Y/N, you have to listen to me. I don't want you to grieve or mourn, I want you to keep going. Find a new love, I don't want you to be alone. You need to find a new love, start a new story with them. Please baby, I beg you." 

You squeezed your eyes closed, your throat felt like it was slowly shutting. Your heart felt like it had been stabbed after hearing his words. You knew he had a point, you knew you couldn't mourn over him the rest of your life, but just hearing it so soon pained you more than you could ever imagine. 

Getting married, start a family, watch your husband with his son. I wish it could be me but I won't make it off this bed.

Another night where Rafe couldn't sleep, this being his 6th one in a row. He looked at you while you slept and admired the way the moonlight entered the window. The way the light cascaded down your face, highlighting some of your facial features. 

He slept maybe an hour, however he had a dream that woke him up. He dreamed that you got married to another man, watching as he took care of your son. He felt his heart pang with pain knowing that would be the harsh reality they would soon have to face. 

It felt like his body was there, he knew he was there, but it felt like his soul was floating out of him as he watched you be happy with a random stranger. He watched as you scooped your son up in your arms, spinning around as he let out cheerful giggles.

Rafe watched your husband who looked just as happy as you did. He hated that you were happy with someone else, but he knew you would be in good hands with your husband. He just had to pray that you'll meet someone who loves you just as much as he did.

I hope I go to heaven so I see you once again. My life was kinda short but I got so many blessings. Happy you were mine, it sucks that it's all ending.

Rafe had spent the next few months trying to make up for some of the shitty things he did in his teen years. He's been donating to the pour, volunteering at local shelters and soup kitchens, randomly picking garbage up from the highway. He was trying to do anything and everything to make sure he could go to heaven.

He had no clue if heaven or hell were real, but if they do exist he would do anything he could to make sure he got into heaven. After he dies, he knew that was his one chance to see you again. He knew one day he would wake up on the other side and you would be there, running to him to give him the hug both of you had been desperately craving.

I'm happy that you're here with me, I'm sorry if I tear up. When me and you were younger, you would always make me cheer up.

You softly knocked on the hospital room door, walking through the doorway with a tray of cafeteria food. "Hey baby, I brought you a sandwich and blue jello." He smiled at you, "my favorite." He subtly laughed before coughing harshly. You rushed over to his side and placed the tray down, grabbing one of the napkins to wipe away the small drops of blood that escaped his mouth.

"I got you baby, it's okay." You mumbled, passing him a glass of water as his coughing died down. You sat down in the seat next to him, watching him poke his sandwich before taking a small bite out of it. He sighed before dropping the sandwich back onto the plate, his eyes already crying. He sniffled as he covered his face with his hands, ashamed to be in the spot he was in right now.

You reached forward and grabbed onto his hand, rubbing his knuckles with your thumb as he tightened his grip. "I'm so sorry." He whispered. You shook your head trying to fight back your tears. "Don't apologize baby, I'm right here." "And I'm so fucking happy you are." 

You held his hand, looking down at his fingers as you played with them. "Remember back in 8th grade when I got into a really bad argument with my dad after he married Rose? I was so angry and upset, and I ran right to your house. But you were right there to help me, you cheered me up in a matter of seconds of me being with you. That was one of the first times I truly knew how happy you made me." He recalled the memory, thinking about it like it was yesterday.

Taking goofy videos while walking through the park. You would jump into my arms every time you heard a bark.

You pulled up your snapchat and pressed record. You and Rafe decided to go to the local park to just go on the playground equipment. There was nobody around, even if there was when you were with him you felt like you two were the only ones there.

You recorded the video as Rafe pushed you on the swing set, you turned the camera to face you, zooming in on the large smile on his face. You pumped your legs up, accidentally kicking him in the stomach. The video got the whole thing and his reaction. You jumped off the swing and turned around to see him hunched over and groaning. 

"Oh my god, I am so sorry!" You quickly apologized, trying to help him stand up straight. He laughed loudly, his bright smile never left his face. "That was so fucking funny!" You joined him in laughing, enjoying the moment. He held you closely by the waist as you held his elbows. "God, I am so in love with you." He muttered before pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 

•

"Okay shut up that was one time and it was a dare!" You defended yourself, jokingly pushing his shoulder. He brought up the story about how you ran down the block fully naked one night in senior year. Your laugh stopped the moment you heard a loud bark echoing in the distance. 

Your hand quickly reached down to grab his as your head turned in different directions to see where the sound came from. Rafe stopped walking and stood in front of you. "Hey, hey it's okay. It was just a dog." You nodded your head before letting out a shaky breath.

His free hand reached up and held the side of your face, "I got you Y/N. I won't let anything hurt you."

Cuddle in your sheets, sing me sound asleep. And sneak out through your kitchen at exactly 1:03. 

You hushed Rafe as he whispered to you. Rafe had been your boyfriend for the last 2 months, however you hadn't told your parents about him yet which meant sneaking around if you wanted to be with him. You figured out a way to sneak him into your house without your parents knowing.

He tiptoed into your room before flinging himself onto your bed. He wasted no time in wrapping himself in your sheets, his arms wide open waiting for you to join him. You laid down next to him, watching as he looked at you with puppy eyes and his bottom lip pouting. "Which song tonight?" He thought for a minute, "Fix You by Coldplay." 

You shifted in your spot so Rafe could rest his head on your chest, your hand reached yo to play with his hair. "When you try your best but you don't succeed…" you quietly sang to him. You continued until you heard his soft snores escape his lips. You shut your eyes and allowed yourself to fall asleep with him.

•

You were woken up by the feeling of his lips against yours, mumbling 'wake up' against them. "I'm awake." You muttered, rubbing your eyes. "I gotta head home."  You nodded before flinging the sheets off of your body. You held his hand in yours before quietly opening your bedroom door. You led him down the halls and to your garage door. 

He spun you around so you could face him, his hands finding your waist as you roped your arms around his neck. "See you tomorrow?" He questioned, "absolutely." You leaned forwards and kissed him softly, your lips hovering over his for a second. 

"Goodnight handsome."

Soon you'll be alone, sorry that you have to lose me.

It's been 12 months, Rafe was admitted into the hospital at the beginning of month 11. It happened when Rafe broke into a coughing spit that ended up with him spitting up splatters of blood. You weren't ready when that happened, you knew that that was the beginning of his end and that terrified you.

"Y/N?" He whispered, you sat up from your seat and stood next to him. "Yeah baby?" "Can you kiss me?" Your heart clenched at how soft his voice was. "It would be my honor." You grinned as he let out a weak laugh. Leaning down you cupped the side of his face and passionately kissed him. 

You pulled away from him, not even knowing about the tears that rolled down your face. "My eyelids feel heavy." He admitted, knowing this might be his last day. You held the side of his face, watching as his eyes slowly fell shut and his heart monitor slowed down. "No no, Rafe look at me. Keep your eyes open." You begged.

"I love you Y/F/N Y/L/N, forever and always." He whispered before his eyes fell shut. The room went silent except for the sound of the monitor flat lining, fear running through your veins. "Doctor!"

[cal-a-bungaa]

Hello! Here’s some Halloween asks for you!! Hope you had an amazing day. 💕

What do you want etched onto your tombstone?

Which horror movie scarred you for life?

In the zombie apocalypse, what would be your weapon of choice?

Which horror movie murder did you find the most disturbing?

Who is your favorite fictional serial killer?

How long do you think you would last in a horror movie?

Does the sight of blood make you squeamish?

What is the scariest Halloween costume you have ever seen?

What is the scariest Halloween costume you have ever worn?

Is there any horror movie you refused to watch because the trailers scared you too much?

If you were stuck as the protagonist in any horror movie, which would you choose?

What is the most disturbing song that you have ever heard?

Who is your favorite horror author?

1. I actually haven't thought about this, but I think I'd want something that only people close to me would understand

2. I'm not sure I would call it a horror movie so to speak, but Midsommar really messed with me, and still does. When I was about five though, my dad sat me down and we watched the original IT and that really scarred me for a long long time. Or even Hereditary.. That was a crazy one.

3. My favorite fictional killer.... um, probably Chucky as cheesy as that sounds. I just love those movies and constantly binging them which I actually have to start the TV show they just came out with for that series!

4. Considering my best friend and I were at a amusement park last night where people with chainsaws chasing you and I would scream and like freeze.. not long. I'd be the first or second person to die.

5. Nope. Blood doesn't bother me at all, I'd prefer seeing blood than broken bones, but either one I'm fine with. I wanted to be a doctor for a long time so yeah.

6. Scariest one I've ever seen was probably when I was younger and terrified of Pin Head.

7. I haven't really worn anything really scary.... I wasn't allowed to do scary costumes for a long time, and now that I'm like an adult or whatever I don't really think about doing as much for Halloween if that makes sense. Love the holiday and costume aspect, but I put minimal effort into everything I do lol.

8. Uh.. no? I don't think so at least. I mean the only one I refused to watch after seeing the trailers was the 2019 version of Childs Play because it looked god awful.

9. Honestly... No clue. And I don't wanna give a super cheesy answer lol

10. Most disturbing song is when I was going through a phase, it's Secrets of Wisteria.. The song is based on a true story about murders that happened to kids a long time ago, and the end of the song if you listen to it backwards is the reading of the confession the killer gave about what he did to those kids. It's sick, and gives me the heebie geebies every time I hear it.

11. Stephen King. There's no one else who writes like that man does. He can be a lot and go too far sometimes, but you have to admit he's a phenomenal writer

[colour-outside-the-liness]

Oh wow, you two have been friends for a long time then! I know what's that like, I've known my best friend who lives in Spain since we were 8! Definitely awesome to have someone like that in your life. Are you still going to be roommates when the baby comes? And that was really thoughtful of your ex making sure you didn't travel alone.

Canada is really cold tho, so if you're okay with that you should def move there! Ah well, I'm doing better now so that's what matters, all the horrible worries I had when I lived back home are gone atm.

Yeah, that's the spirit! you can do all US states even if it takes you 43 years, that's plenty of time! hahaha And your welcome, it's one of my favourite fics.

Your mind is great, don't worry. At least something good came out of it haha.

Oh so people make her a pisces then, I see. I've met a pisces who was kinda like Dani once so that's why I said she has that kind of energy, but she def has fire on her chart too. And yeah I can see some virgo traits in her, but she's very sensitive and a bit naive so I guess pisces makes more sense.

I had to look up what a badger was hahaha never heard of them before.

I'm sorry you had to go through that. Sounds scary. And you still have to take medication bc of it. The threat of catching covid must've made that 10x worse too. And I can only hope to learn from my mistakes at the very least.

People who made thobm are fucking savages tbh hahaha. 😂 Kinda wish they had cast Oliver as Jamie like they originally intended but then we wouldn't have our damie... don't know what's worse honestly.

Oh Yorkshire accent is pretty cool too, isn't the lead singer of the Arctic Monkeys from Yorkshire? Honestly think all the language variations and different accents that come with each region are really fascinating. And that happens with all languages, not just English. Wish I could speak all languages in the world, that would be a cool superpower! I guess it makes sense you like American accents more bc it's so different from yours. I've become desensitized to North American accents just bc I hear them all the time, but I see how it would be more appealing to you.

Oooh I love that possibility of it becoming a real fic soon hahaha. Worst part of letting it cook is that I already have the finished illustration in my head but the transferring to reality part is not working rn. Wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy tbh.

You def had a busy weekend and start of the week! I have a virgo in my life rn too I know the struggle. Her birthday is this weekend in fact. I had an okay weekend thank you! Managed to catch up with that pirate AU you recommended and I'm already planning fanart for it that will probably never see the light of day haha! Are we going to have more smut this next MoU update? (need to know for scientific purposes 🔬)

Yeah we've been friends for years we met when we were 14 and are still friends now at 27 so it's been one of my longest friendships I have a friend that I met at 4 but we're not as close as we once were still really good friends but not best friends haha!! aww that's so cool that you guys have been friends for that long!! Yeah we're still gonna live together when the baby comes- we're looking for a bigger place right now to make room for the baby and her boyfriend (he still doesn't live with us yet but will soon.... *insert gif of Monica Gellar one friends saying "And now I have to live with a boy" while crying* Yeah my ex is a super thoughtful person and she just didn't want me travelling so far alone when I had never flown before because when I went to Paris with my college we drove there and went on the Eurostar and it took us 13 hours to get there but I had never flown before going to LA and I picked an 11 hour flight for my first one so she wanted someone to fly with me she's a very thoughtful person I LOVE the cold weather I am so sad right now because it's bene quite warm in the north of England I can't wait until it's like -3 degrees Celsius during the winter nights again so I am sure I would love Canada I am fine with it taking me 43 years if that's what it takes haha I just wanna hit all 50 states I think it would be so fun to do it and to be able to say I'd done it.  Haha thank you!! As long as something good comes out of it that's all I can hope for but there are times I've done things and people are like "And you're allowed to teach kids?" Like I can be really dumb sometimes haha.  Yeah I've seen a couple of fics where she has been a pisces I think with it never being said and with VP never saying what she thinks she is people have looked at her personality and matched it up to zodiac signs- a lot of the pisces I've met haven't been like Dani like I said but I do trust what people who know more about zodiac signs say because I know nothing and I just pick a random date each time so CBML she's a Leo and MoU she's a virgo and in SLS she's gonna be a Scorpio because that's just how I've done it haha but I really know nothing about zodiac signs other than what you have told me!! There different types of badgers there are honey badgers and they're more in America here we have a different type of badger and they look so cute but they are really vicious if they feel attacked or scared so try snd avoid badgers... more than that though we just have cows, geese, ducks, swans... lots of foxes but noting dangerous like bears or anything its a very boring place to live!! Yeah it is pretty scary but I just take everything one day at a time- I actually caught Covid last year because of how much time I was in the hospital having treatments for my condition I caught Covid and ended up in the hospital for a week while they had to give me loads of medication and blood transfusions and had to put me on a fluid drip because I was really dehydrated and that was really scary but luckily I was okay and now I am fully vaccinated so hopefully I won't catch it again. I think you will definitely learn from your mistakes I feel like some mistakes have to be made in life so you can grow from them Oh they were definitely savage but I love Bly Manor so much and I will watch it so many more times I can't wait for it to come out on DVD!! Like it was heart breaking but so beautiful and we got such an incredible wlw relationship from it and some great representation and I love that!! Would be interesting to see how it would've affected people had Oliver played Jamie though Yeah Alex Turner is from Sheffield which is South Yorkshire so again we have a similar accent but it's different because I am from further North but there are things that we say in a similar way because we’re from Yorkshire just different parts of Yorkshire... there are four Yorkshires: North, East, West, and South haha and all are in the north of England  Yeah I think that’s the case every where I think accents and languages are so interesting and I would love to be able to speak any other language but I only speak English in my school it wasn’t seen as being overly important to learn a language and I have tried learning them since leaving school but I struggle now  There are some American accents I love (Southern and Midwestern) so when I heard Dani speak I was like 😍🥵🥰 because I love that type of accent I have become desensitised to some American accents that are just standard ones from watching so many movies and TV shows but there are some accents that just make me do heart eyes haha  I am hoping it can become a real fic soon but I am struggling with some stuff but keeping hopeful with it!! Awwh no I’m sorry it’s so hard for you I hope it gets better soon that you’re able to get it onto a page!!  I have had such a busy weekend and part of the week had a bit of a busy day today too and looking after my niece again tomorrow not rest for me it would seem but it’s fine I don’t mind keeping busy!! Well happy birthday to her I hope she has a great day!!  Oh yay I’m glad had an okay weekend and that you were able to catch up on the pirate AU and that you already have fan art planned for it- even if no one ever sees that fanart!! No there is no smut in this chapter of MoU some implied smut but no actual smut- there will probably be smut in chapter 9 though because y’know... it’s me haha 😂 

[linphd]

⛄️ CHRISTMAS DAY 1 ⛄️ tamaki x neutral!reader | carousel

tamaki amajiki x reader

gender neutral

Tamaki looks for the perfect Christmas present for you.

warning : mention of someone passing but it's just for the plot

         When we first started dating, I knew that (Y/N) loved Christmas. Also, I knew that they owned a carousel music box, and they really loved the music. It was apparently quite old, as they got it on Christmas, when they were 7. It was their grandmother who had offered it to them. However, the carousel looked clean, and the music was still audible and wasn't doing those notes old music boxes or games make, that sound evil and scary, like they were haunted.

         ''It's that old ? It looks new, you must take care of it !'' I told (Y/N), when they showed it to me. It was on our first Christmas together, during our second year, we had started dating only a few months earlier. ''I take great care of it ! It was a present from my grandmother, and I told you already she passed when I was 14.'' That had broken my heart ; I didn't want them to feel bad ! I had just liked the carousel !

           However, (Y/N) didn't look like they were mad at me, and simply turned on the carousel so I could hear the music. It was rather short, and the carousel itself was quite tiny ; but the white paint was still shining, and the horses were still moving in synch.

        Often, I would turn it on. I actually enjoyed the music as well, and when we moved in dorms, (Y/N) took it with them, so I was seeing it almost everyday. That's why I was caught off guard when they told me the mechanism was stuck ; the carousel wasn't turning anymore, thus the music couldn't play.

       ''Tamaki ! Can you try to repair it ? I don't wanna force on it and break it.'' They said, handing it to me. ''I'm not good at repairing things, but... I don't see any screw to actually open it and see the inside ?'' They bit their lower lip, very briefly ; I could tell they were a bit bothered about it. ''We could try to open it, still. Maybe we can ask those students in the workhouse ? They design hero costumes, they can repair carousels.'' I had said.

        ''I don't know, they always like to change everything. I don't want them to give it back to me with brand new useless gadgets on it and a different music. Even if I stay and watch them to make sure it's like before, it's too personal. I don't want them to split it open and change everything inside and then glue it back together.'' They commented.

       I could've told them to buy a new one ; but there were always plenty of different carousels in every shop and every year during Christmas time, and finding that one in particular wouldn't have been an easy task. Moreover, it was meaningful to them, you can't replace a meaningful item with a new one and expect it to have the same meaning.

        Still, I decided to check if I could find the same carousel on the Internet. But of course, it was an old model, I couldn't find it anywhere even with a precise description ! I even posted a picture of it saying I was looking for something similar and nobody could find it ! I started to believe that (Y/N)'s grandma had made it herself at some point.

         When I was back from a mission with Fatgum, I went to their room and actually found them sniffling. ''(Y/N) ? What's going on ?'' They looked at me, with the carousel in their hands. ''I forced it, I know I shouldn't have, but I still tried to force it to turn and it broke that piece !'' They said, handing me a small piece. Sure it was tiny, but I surely wasn't going to say it wasn't a big deal.

        ''It's okay, we can glue it back easily. You won't even be able to see it, okay ?'' I knew (Y/N) had a lot of pictures and objects from her grandma, but still, they had had that carousel for so many years, it was that kind of object that's supposed to stay there forever, functioning or not. And I also knew that (Y/N) was taking very good care of their stuff, and I knew how bad they could feel about breaking it themselves. Still, they let me glue it back.

         ''Don't think your grandma would be mad at you, it's still shining and white and you took very good care of it ! You can't even see that it has been broken.'' I said. I don't know if that really comforted them, but they thanked me and changed the subject.

        However, I had an idea for that second Christmas together -cause we wouldn't be a brand new couple just like during our first one. (Y/N)'s mom showed me some pictures of them when they were younger, and there were at least 12 pictures with carousels ; I understood why their grandmother had bought one for them in the first place.

           But, on those 12 pictures, at least 5 of them had the exact same carousel, I believe it was even the same horse (Y/N) was on. ''We would always go to this place only for the carousel. Can you believe (Y/N) never rode a real horse ?'' their mom said. I actually took a picture of that recurrent carousel with my phone, finally finding a special present for my partner's Christmas.

         Indeed, (Y/N) would always know exactly what I liked and offer me cute and personal presents ! Moreover, I feel like I don't show them enough how much I love them, since I'm anxious, so they deserved something that proved my love. That's why I started to spend some time with Mei Hatsume. Actually, that girl was always at U.A's workshop, and I guessed it would be easier for me to design a whole carousel with someone from U.A than find a special workshop for that.

        (Y/N) didn't know at all about it, as Mirio was covering me, saying I was with him, or that I was training. Sometimes, I think it was pissing them off, since I was actually spending a lot of time making sure everything was okay and turning out exactly how I wanted it.

        Actually, Mei listened to me -maybe because I was actually paying her. The carousel was bigger than the one (Y/N)'s grandmother had offered them, making it more resistant. Moreover, it actually had a mechanism and screws to have an easy access to it, so we won't break it and have to glue it back once again.

       The carousel had 6 horses, even though 3 of them were the same, looking like that one which was recurrent on the pictures. The carousel itself wasn't all white, it was also like the one of the pictures ; green, red and white. Christmas colors ! (Y/N) would connect the dots immediately with the one from their childhood !

        And for the music, I chose one from their favorite movie ; it was going to be related to Christmas anyway, since it would be a present, so I didn't mind if their favorite movie was a horror one or something. The final touch was something I wanted to be carved on it ; Merry Christmas, I love you.

We were allowed to spend Christmas with our family, but we also celebrated it at the dorms. Still, I wanted to give (Y/N) my present when we would be alone. They seemed to have understood, since they didn't look at me confused or anything when every present had been given and they didn't got their yet.

That's why, once we went to their dorm, I decided to give it to them. At first, we were just laying on their bed, watching something on their laptop. As I was hugging them, I felt confident enough with the carousel to finally give it to them. I kissed their head, telling them I had their present with me.

(Y/N) smiled, looking at the box. Once they opened it, their eyes widened seeing the carousel. ''Does it remind you of something ?'' I asked, and they gasped, realizing. ''Turn it on.'' I said, smiling. So, they did. They recognized the music after only a few notes. ''Did you custom it ?!'' They asked, and I nodded, giggling. I didn't even have to tell them what I have carved in, since they turned the item to see every detail anyway. ''I love you too.'' They said. And I could see they understood how much they meant to me.

[jisssooyah]

Hi you... if you were going to curate a little season of films for me, which ones would you choose and why? They don't need to be horror, I'm just curious what you would choose 🌸

I don’t know if you’ll like these movies, or if you’ve already watched them, but after i watched these films, i felt like they might need to belong to you now. i hope they make you smile, roll your eyes, and cry just as much as i did.

1. city of god (2002): this is one of the most immersive and gorgeously shot films i’ve ever seen. it’s set in rio de janeiro during the 60s and spans decades exploring the drug culture in the slums and how this can affect kids just as they are trying to figure their own selves out. the way this film is shot, feels like you were at the sea with them as the sand crunched underneath your feet. but the way that the director captures these individuals, makes you so fucking relieved that you don’t live through any of the circumstances that they go through. 

2. the dreamers (2004): set in 1968, this film follows three students in Paris who come of age and explore one another and their limits during the revolution. while these students prop themselves up as individuals obsessed with sex, running underneath themselves is a current of jealousy, obsession, and blurred familial relationships that made me increasingly uncomfortable. you find yourself feeling bad for the children, and ultimately upset at their upbringing because of their parents. 

3. if beale street could talk (2018): this movie is based off of james baldwin’s titular 1974 novel. in it, the director expertly and vigorously explores love: a love that feels so real that it hurts. the cast is what sold this film to me. the way they talk, laugh, cry, and smile at one another is achingly beautiful and terrifyingly sad. i wanted to transport myself back to their time period and watch the main characters fall in love because the film didn’t seem like enough. 

4. the neon demon (2016): this film follows an emerging model who sacrifices herself to the demands of the industry in order to be attractive and beautiful. there are so many stunning colors in this film that it makes you dizzy, like you’re in a trance and that’s what this world is for the main character: a trance. as she oscillates between reality and fantasy, her world and the characters in it, increasingly seek out to alter her personality. 

5. death becomes her (1992): a deliberately ultra-campy parody of trashy, pandering "women's pictures," soap operas and paperbacks from the '80s and '90s. The three leads all do some of their best work - it's hilarious watching Meryl Streep play a terrible actress, Goldie Hawn is particularly hilarious during her character's cat lady phase, and all around just a really fun and eccentric film. 

6. princess cyd (2017): i can’t think of anything to write for this but i just wanna say that this is literally one of the most pleasant movie experiences i’ve ever had. so much light and genuine interaction in warm sun rays radiating positive energy and an openness that is far too uncommon in movies nowadays. people talk, people connect, people grow bonds and are allowed to be sexual or intimate or personal without an air of shame or judgement. just pure kind and curious human association. 

7. spiderman: into the spiderverse (2018): the message of Spider-Verse is not "gentrify yourself! stop expressing your personality and just conform to what society wants you to be!" After all, what makes you different makes you Spider-Man, and Miles' final expression of himself as a superhero still retains much of his personality and individuality...they're just being used in more productive and fulfilling ways. It's the little things that drive the point home, like noticing that the title page for Miles' finished Great Expectations essay has been stylistically doodled and colored like street art. Rather than seeing his artistic gifts as an opposition to his schoolwork, Miles infuses them together to make the best of the hand he's been dealt.

8. my life as a zucchini (2016): initially heartbreaking and sad, but slowly becoming more joyful and heartwarming as the plot moves along. The film really feels like it captures the essence and child like wonder of these kids, all of them going through hardships but managing to find something to help each other out. It’s so refreshing to see the actual orphanage portrayed in a more positive light, not the usual horrid dump that a lot of lesser movies play them out as. The animation is stunning. One of the best uses of stop motion I’ve seen, everything is so colourful and detailed. There’s some moments set in snowy mountains and these look incredible. There’s clearly been so much love and care put into each and every scene here. The music too, sounds spectacular, it really works well with each scene. 

9. lovesong (2016): Mindy and Sarah have that type of relationship where they don't need words because they speak in a language made out of glances and touches. This movie is about the fear of ruining a meaningful friendship and losing an important person, about love that is so complicated that one might not even try because the outcome seems to be so obvious.

10. her (2013): Heartbreak is formative: it changes you heart side out, and leaves your muscles a little stronger, your skin a little thicker, your bones easier to repair. Before this film, I’d never seen anything constructive in having your insides pulled apart by the seams by another person, but this film taught me how. Being in love and then being forced out of it is an experience that changes you fundamentally, but Her taught me its purpose – you don’t need them to leave you so that you can find someone who’s a better fit, because perhaps you never will. You need it to participate in humanity. The common denominator is being hurt, and without it, you’re barely alive.

11. shoplifters (2018): bittersweet and richly transportive, Shoplifters is a film that nonchalantly eases you into its tragic beauty in a way that doesn't punch you hard until the end. It simultaneously made me want to be part of the film's world and also very glad that I'm not. The setting the characters live in is messy and cluttered and full of dysfunction and lies, but it's also got family, and laughter, and fist-bumps, and slurping warm noodles while rain pings on the tin rooftop. So nuanced, so many tiny moments of delicate beauty and unassuming heartbreak, so many people making terrible decisions with good intentions.

12. god’s own country (2017): though it is a love story between two men, this aspect is only addressed briefly in a single scene. Rather, the film is about finding someone who makes you want to be a better person, someone who comes into your life just when you needed it most. Gheorghe helps Johnny open up and realize the beauty of the simple life. From this relationship, Johnny begins to feel comfortable with expressing himself, and his love and gratitude towards others. He also begins to appreciate life in the country, surrounded by stunning landscapes and the beauty of simplicity. Addressing the Yorkshire countryside, Gheorghe says "It is beautiful, but lonely." Johnny is presented with the notion that he doesn't have to be cold and miserable, slaving and drinking his days away. He is presented with the possibility of no longer being alone and finally finding happiness and contentment - and it is more than gratifying to see him accept it.

13. disobedience (2017): a tender star-crossed daydream. the three main character dynamics are special enough on their own, but the romance that blooms at the center is cathartically intimate and even magical: a reunion that feels so inevitable. catching glimpses of a past life, details we aren’t privy to. all the stolen kisses and whispers and promises. a bond so strong that they fall back in sync with each other like second nature, even if they try to fight against it. even if it won’t work. and yet they choose each other, even if for a few minutes.

14. raw (2016): this film is so gross and I like that. There is tons of blood and unique body horror and it all works perfectly for the tone the film is attempting to set. The use of color, specifically neons, creates a constant feeling that you are traveling through some sort of weird ghost world, which I really like. Overall, it's a very well put together film with flashes of brilliance.

15. the night is short, walk on girl (2017): what an absolutely magical adventure of a film. Essentially this is a heavily episodic look at a night in the lives of several people, centered on a woman and a man as she gleefully floats from event to event while he neurotically obsesses over how to "coincidentally" talk to her. The storytelling is incredible; while the overarching narrative is simple there are countless threads woven together to connect everyone in the story to each other. That in itself is a big theme: connections between people, how everything is interrelated, and what a large impact seemingly insignificant things people do can have an impact on everyone around them.

16. coraline (2009): Coraline is the best stop motion movie ever made in my opinion. Before the film released in 2009, I read the book and was completely blown away by its creativity and story. It’s a pretty dark tale featuring many scenes of fright that work well in both a horror setting and an animated kids setting. On surface value, this film is quite horrifying, which is something I’ve always loved about it. While it does make a few minor changes to the book, it improves upon a piece of art that was already jaw-droppingly good. Coraline feels like a real little girl with some real problems. She’s selfish but likable which is something most films cannot translate well. Of course, she has a pretty awesome arc as well which brings this movie to a perfect close for her character. The other-mother is also perfectly done. She is almost exactly how I imagined her in the book and the animation on her is spookily gorgeous. There is not one dull moment in this film. It is literally a perfect piece of cinema.

17. the third wife (2019): haven’t seen a film this visually delicate in a while. Ash Mayfair works with the looming mountain surroundings to make her characters —these women, these girls— as small as possible, as isolated as possible. Uneasiest of all is the protagonist May, so young and so weighed by responsibility, her position blurs between being one of the wives and being one of the daughters. It’s an extremely bleak tale of circumstance. An old tale, certainly, but so beautifully crafted it doesn’t matter. Mayfair holds a fearful tension throughout, and it only ever shatters in the cruelest of ways.The abundance of women and display of sisterhood begin as a comfort, but horror takes over as we realize how conditional and fragile that comfort is. Even the daughters are subconsciously aware, one of them praying to the gods to grow up and become a man, shearing her hair off in naive triumph. It’s a doomed cycle of girls performing roles which are unfortunately their best option, right up until the final scene of May with her daughter, still in their mourning clothes. She, like the older wives, finally realizes they’re the same as the cattle laying on their side for too many days.

[rogue-barnes-16]

RUSSIAN ROULETTE (Destroyer fic)

Request: just watched Destroyr too nd I'm thirsty for a fic nd saw you're taking requests from it. Can you do a fic where chris goes undercover with the reader instead with erin and when the Russian Roulette shit happens the reader does something to stop it nd chris confronts her later or smthng || idk it's a messy request sorry. || Pls make it anon??? || lol srry XOXO

Pairing: Chris x reader (Destroyer)

Genre: angsty (?) idk how to describe it

Tags:

Permanent taglist: @notexactlythatgirl @thisismysecrethappyplace @sofreakinmanyfandoms @pizzarollpatrol @bubblycypress87 @sinviix @loislp @lovenaturefirst @dyanna-corona @2ptonpt @goodnightmode @disneyprincessbuffyannesummers @mannls @cutie1365 @catch22inareddress @mybooradley @sebastianisasnack @butifulsoul125

Warnings: not actual spoilers (that's a warning), tension, makeout, language

A/N: first of, I feel like I should make this clear again THIS DOES NOT CONTAIN SPOILERS BUT IT IS BASED ON A PART OF A SCENE OF THE MOVIE. Also, DAMN I enjoyed writing this. Also, it soothed the pain caused by the movie (thanks Nicole Kidman, you lovely human being, for destroying my heart). Anyway, enjoy <3.

Rogue-barnes-16 masterlist

I lay down on the sofa, giving Chris a brief glance to check on him. A while ago, I could have just asked him since all the party noise would have covered our voices, but it all had gotten really quiet.

People had slowly left, and in the house there were just a few people left. Silas, sitting on the armchair; Petra and that other girl, checking their messed up makeup in the mirror; Toby, playing some random video game; Chris, sat right behind Toby, and Arturo, who was coming my way in the moment.

"look what I found" he shook the pack of beers on his right hand, a mischievous grin on his face.

"reinforcements" I extended my hand for him to give me one. "nice, I needed it" I opened the one he gave me and took a sip.

When Arturo made a hesitant attempt to sit besides me, I moved my leg for him to have more room. "looking gorgeous today, Y/n" he said, half cuddling me.

Arturo was kind of pinning over me, I knew it. I sometimes, if I was in a playful mood, would lead him on. He knew I 'was with Chris' —even though we weren't actually together—, so there was nothing else apart from teasing and light flirting.

Chris, however, to pretend, most of the times would play the jealous boyfriend card, but right now he was distracted.

There was someone who was noticing it, though. Silas had his eyes on us, and, if I only had noticed it before, I would have stopped.

But I hadn't.

I jumped at the loud thud that sounded right besides me. When I turned to it, I saw a small gun on the floor.

"Arturo" Silas called the boy besides him. He tilted his head to the gun with a sick smile on his face. "let's see if your time has come?"

The room, now silent, was filled with anxiety and tension.

I tried playing it cool, but the fear in my eyes gave me away. I knew I was being too obvious when Chris decided to intervene.

"fuck it, Arturo" he said carelessly, not looking at anyone, but at the joint he had just rolled. "don't do it" he added, lighting up the joint before giving it a puff.

"it's none of your business Chris" Chris replied at Silas' statement with a gesture of indifference while he let out the smoke. "C'mon Arturo, grow a pair. Don't wanna play?"

I knew things were about to get worse than expected when Arturo got up and grabbed the gun from the floor.

"there he goes" Silas commented, letting out a dark chuckle. "c'mon, come here and look at me in the eye."

I stole a glance at Chris, who was subtly staring at me with almost unnoticeable nervousness in his eyes.

"Wait" all of them turned to me. "he doesn't wanna do it." before Silas could protest, I gave him a knowing smirk "doesn't have what it takes"

"sweetheart, it's done" Silas made himself more comfortable before looking at Arturo again. "someone gotta play now, so go ahead"

I wasn't going to allow that to happen.

"I wanna play." I stated, standing up. "and I definitely got what it takes" I made my way to then, noticing how Chris' breath hitched, making him swallow the smoke and causing him to cough. "c'mon give me the gun"

Arturo gave me the gun, not before looking at Silas for approval. "Okay sweetheart" the man sitting before me let out a chuckle. "same rules. Gun against your head and eyes on me"

"Silas, c'mon" Petra, who had stayed silent until then, spoke with a trembling voice. "don't- babe, let's drop it."

"Nope, babydoll" the man replied. "c'mon Y/n, make the roulette spin, will you?" it took me a second, but I managed to made the cylinder spin without looking at it. "atta girl."

"baby, quit it" I heard Chris voice, but I didn't really listen to it. "leave it, c'mon" I took a deep, shaky breath, and, when I felt my eyes watering, I pulled the trigger. "Y/n!"

Nothing happened.

I exhaled, tossing the gun to the floor and shutting my eyes. "Y/n, sweetheart, you're nuts." Silas started to laugh, giving me a surprised look. "it was loaded. You can't let people tell you what to do like that" everyone started to chuckle lightly too.

"it has three bullets inside" I turned to Chris, who was holding the gun with the cylinder open. "holy fuck" he managed to feign a laugh and I exited the room, feeling my whole body shaking.

"Chris, go get your crazy girl" Silas said, not able to stop laughing. "go and fuck, she'll calm down!"

I heard heavy steps behind me before a large hand grabbed my forearm, dragging me into a dark room. "what were you thinking" Chris hissed, shutting the door. "what the fucking hell, Y/n?"

"he-" I chewed my lip harsh enough to draw blood, while my back rested against the wall. "there was three bullets, you said it yourself. I knew there was a trick."

"so what?!" he hit the wall besides me, taking a shaky breath "it was damn obvious there was a fucking trick. That's not a reason for you to play the Russian fucking Roulette"

"what if he had killed himself?" I asked, hugging myself in a vain attempt to refrain my goosebumps.

"better him than you"

"Silas gave him the gun because of me. 'cause he was flirting with me" I explained "I didn't want his death in my conscience" I replied, gripping my forearms.

"yeah? Well I didn't want a bullet in your fucking skull and I almost got it" he bit back, choking on the last few words. "do something like that again and you're out"

"you can't fucking do that" I stated. "we're undercover, you can't make me leave."

"fuckin' bet, baby" he growled, trying to pass by me and open the door. He couldn't, though since I put myself between him and the door. "move your ass out of my way, Y/n"

"you really wanted one of the criminals we're chasing to get killed?"

"I swear to fucking God Y/n-"

"Tell me" I shoved him back for him to get away from the door "that you wouldn't have done something like that if you thought it was the right thing to do" when he, instead of replying, growled under his breath with his eyes on the ceiling, I repeated, "fuckin' tell me you wouldn't-"

We heard the door's lock clicking open and I panicked, afraid someone might have heard us.

"fuck"

I took a glance at the door, which was being opened.

"shit" When I turned to Chris again, I barely had time to process that he, with his hands gripping my hips, was backing me against the wall before hurriedly crashing his lips against mines.

"Hey guys- Okay" Toby stood there, holding onto the door frame, for a long minute, watching us making out. "they're fine!" he yelled, turning back to the room where everyone was. "I think they're gonna fuck!- sorry for the interruption, I'll give you some... Privacy"

With that, the door closed again and we were left alone in the dark. It was only when we were sure we were safe, that Chris let go of me.

We stood close to each other, breathing heavily. From my current angle, the moonlight made the tears in his face gleam.

Those tears that I didn't even know were there. Those tears that kept running down his cheeks nonstop.

"what are you fucking looking..."

He went silent when my arms wrapped around him, gripping the back of his jacket with both of my hands.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry" I whispered. "but I don't regret it. It was the right thing to do. Arturo didn't deserve that shit, you know it"

"you didn't either" he circled my hips, pulling me flush against him, like I was going to banish. "Goddammit, Y/n. You didn't either" he muffled a brief sob by burying his face deep into the crook of my neck. "God fucking damnit."

"nothing happened, Chris" I mumbled in a shaky breath, bringing him impossibly closer to me. "I'm fine"

"you scared the shit out of me" he muttered under his breath, letting himself rest against me. "I was so fucking terrified-"

"we're alright" I whispered, pulling away to wipe his tears.

After a beat of silence, he leaned on me an planted a tender, careful kiss on my lips. And it was easy to tell that this one wasn't feigned. This one had Chris' actual feelings on it.

"what was that?" I muttered, slightly confused.

"two weeks deep into this and you already put your life on the line three times" he explained with his jaw clenched. "I'll better come clean 'bout my feelings before you do something stupid and get yourself killed." I nodded, not really knowing what to say. "you... Don't have to- we can just keep pretending, it's fine with me" he cleared his throat, fidgeting with the hem of my jacket. "but, just in case, I needed you to know"

I nodded again without letting any word escape my lips. He waited for an answer that didn't come, and after a few seconds, he cleared his throat again and walked to the bed.

I frowned at him sitting on it. "we should wait a bit." he explained "they think we're fucking so-"

"it's gonna make it more complicated" I blurted out, half wining because, damn, I wanted to be with him. To actually be with him.

"why?" he questioned, resting his elbows over his thighs. "because we'll get too attached? Because we'll get hurt if something happens to the other?"

Those questions made me angry because they were, in fact, the reasons I was going to give him. Now that he had said them out loud, I realized they were stupid reasons.

We were already too attached to each other. We would get hurt anyway if something happened to one another.

"Y/n, I need you to say something"

I walked to him, sat on his lap, and caressed both of his cheeks with my hands. "Okay. Let's do this" I replied, pulling him into a kiss that was, by no means, meant to be rough, but ended up being it.

"Listen" he pulled away for an instant to take off his jacket and mine. "don't you fucking dare to play the Russian Roulette ever again."

"Okay" I pulled the tee off my body and tossed it to the floor. "I won't"

"promise you won't do anything stupid" he demanded, leaning to kiss my jaw, just to pull away to throw his shirt besides mine.

"I promise"

"Good" he cupped my cheeks, bringing me closer to kiss my lips. "cause I'm not sure if I'll be able to stay undercover if something happens to your reckless ass"

[pbscore]

Hello! I love your blog and since you're probably one of the kindest person out there, I wanted to know if you could give some advices (and personal experience, maybe?). I'm queer, and a little bit chubby, and I'm having a REALLY hard time dealing with this, between the dysphoria, the fact that I'm not thin/white/androgynous as a LOT of queer models out here, etc. It's a real struggle. I hope my question isn't making you uncomfortable, and have a good day/night ! :)

Ok 👌🏽! I’m finally here to answer this wonderful ask and I hope you do see it, anon!

First and foremost, I want to stress it to you (and anyone else reading) that you are not REQUIRED to have any specific body type in order to be respected as a human being. I just wanna make sure y’all really understand that and internalize it so you can build that confidence within yourself.

Now, anon, I am by no means ‘thin’ or ‘skinny’ but I’m also not considered fat or chubby. I’m also not white and can’t always pass as I would like to.

I do have A LOT of dysphoria around my hips and thighs because they are thicker than the rest of my body and it does cause me a lot of distress from time to time.

Here are some ways that I (safely) cope with these feelings and hopefully they help you too:

1. I watch a movie that makes me happy. I know that may sound silly but sometimes I like to watch movies from when I was younger that made me super happy, that didn’t focus on weight or color or gender. Obviously, stuff like that is baked into almost every part of our society but there are also plenty of great movies that don’t do that. I watch Ghibli films (obviously lol) when I’m feeling down because most of them focus on fantastic adventures and really beautiful platonic, familial, and romantic relationships.

2. Write yourself love letters and positivity notes. Also sounds a little silly but just humor me for a moment: at the end of the day, you exist on this planet just like everyone else. EVERYONE needs a little love and kindness but sometimes we can’t always get it from outside of ourselves. Self-love is one of the hardest things to learn how to do because we are so used to being told that REAL love comes from outside of ourselves, not FROM ourselves. Real love is unconditional and that is something you should keep in mind. You deserve love (from yourself and others) UNCONDITIONALLY no matter your weight, your color, your sexual/gender identity, or anything else that is a part of you. Keep a journal or sticky notes around and write yourself positive notes. Even if it’s stuff like ‘Today I brushed my teeth’ or ‘Today I liked my shirt’ or ‘Today I saw a cute dog;’ anything throughout your day/week/month that makes you feel alive or inspired.

3. My last piece of advice: search for inspiration in people who look more like you or who defy the standards of society. For example: I follow a lot of lgbt poc blogs on here and on Instagram and it has changed the way I see my body in a huge way. I still have issues with dysphoria but it’s less of an issue than it used to be. I realized, after seeing trans poc with different body types, that the body is just a vessel that carries what is important on the inside. You should be able to adorn it in ways that make you happy and less self conscious. Who I am as a person is far more important to me than what other people perceive me as. Unfortunately, we are all going to be perceived in ways that we don’t want to be perceived in but if you take time for yourself to learn that your body is YOURS and no one else is allowed to control it except you, it will truly liberate you.

I don’t know where you live, anon, so if you don’t feel safe expressing yourself physically (wearing what you wanna wear) then please, don’t feel pressure to be out and proud ok? Your safety comes first!

I hope this post helps you in some ways and if you ever need more advice, my inbox is always open! (I’m sorry, again, that this took a while for me to answer!)