#and I haven’t made much since getting sick in the fall

[caswarrenart]

Art vs Artist 2022 🍀🪲 ☀️

[saerins]

birthday wish;

itoshi sae x female reader. wc 2.4k

content: fluff. some profanity. slight making out. birthday fic for sae <3

summary: it’s itoshi sae’s birthday. the world hates you. you’ve never been a lucky one. being “shit out of luck” is the only thing you know. the tables must turn.

if higher beings do exist, they really must hate you. they must. you can’t fathom your bad luck otherwise.

not only did your cab to the airport run into an hour long jam, your connecting flight also got delayed and now you’re running a day late.

all you get to see is the group chat blowing up, people sending pictures of others, of each of their antics. there’s a photo of everyone together except you.

because your business trip is a pain in the ass.

because it made you miss a weekend getaway with your friends in hokkaido.

because even when they made the effort to convince the birthday boy to make a little side trip back to tokyo, you’re still too late for that.

if it was anyone else, you’d have been fine with it. as much as you feel guilty about that.

but it’s sae. it’s itoshi fucking sae and you can’t even remember the last time you saw him in person because everyone else’s schedules match except yours. the world has driven a constant wedge between you and sae and you hate it.

is there any other emotion to be reserved when that happens to you and a boy you’ve had a crush on since forever?

meeting itoshi sae as a kid was exciting, hopeful. falling for itoshi sae when he was a teen leaving japan for opportunities elsewhere was giddying. sometimes you can’t believe that someone you know is that successful, and other times you hate the fact that he’s so far away because of it.

more than half the time, he’s in spain. he’s never where you are at least ninety-nine percent of the time. the one occasion he was, which was three years ago over new year’s, you were fucking sick.

and all he sent you was a text telling you to get better while the rest of your group of friends get to hang out with him.

though, you suppose that’s a good thing. he barely ever texts anyway, and you don’t initiate, if only out of fear for getting in his way. (as if small speech bubbles could get in his way at all.)

you sigh helplessly as you reach the immigration hall, even more irritated as you look at the time. already past midnight, sae’s flight would’ve already left by now—or, actually, an hour ago because he doesn’t have your bad luck—so you don’t even have the chance of bumping into him at the airport.

whoopee.

your phone finds itself tossed into your duffel bag at your irritation. unwarranted but it is what it is. by the time you finally get your luggage and exit, you’re exhausted. from the disappointment, the delays, everything.

it’s only when you walk a couple more steps, lugging your things behind you when you stop in your tracks, your boots suddenly feel like they’re one with the marble below them.

“didn’t think your luck could get any worse.”

is it possible for your heart to feel like it isn’t functioning properly after hearing a voice? a voice that you haven’t heard physically for who knows how long now?

you have to take a deep breath to even get his name out. “sae…?”

his brows furrow before he cocks one, sighing as he propels himself forward from against the railing, hands in his jacket pocket as he takes a few steps towards you. his face is hidden behind a black mask, his hood pulled over his head but you can still see the clear piercing teal of his eyes and the same nonchalant expression he always wears in his interviews.

you’ve seen a bunch of them.

“who else would i be?” he sighs again, like he’s exasperated, before he grabs the luggage handle from you and starts tugging it behind him.

it occurs to you seconds later that he expects you to follow him when he doesn’t even turn behind.

“wait wait.” you nearly trip over your own feet as you scramble to catch up to him, feeling out of shape the moment you fall into step beside him. “didn’t you have a flight to spain, like, an hour ago?”

you couldn’t have gotten the timing wrong because you triple checked it in the group chat.

sae makes a confused noice in his throat before shrugging. “pushed it a day later.”

he doesn’t elaborate. like he always does. or doesn’t.

“but why? don’t you have training right after you land? or, when you were supposed to land?”

his body brushes your side when he sidesteps someone on his right. you’re ashamed of how your heart skips a beat.

“i have training the day after. i just wanted to get a day to nurse my jet lag if i could. i could still make training if i leave tomorrow.”

he’s always to the point. but he’s intentionally evading a part of your question.

“but why—”

“i’m hungry. you hungry?” he asks, and you can only blink. you can’t even say anything before your stomach growls and answers for you and sae doesn’t have to wait for your response.

he holds your luggage with his right, and his left hand reaches out for you, warmth enveloping as he tugs you beside him into the nearest izakaya, swiftly getting a table for two in the privacy of their special corner table and all he had to do was remove his mask.

“it’s a little late but… happy birthday,” you whisper to him across the table.

sae’s gaze flicks over to you, blank expression as he just stares at you for a moment. “no it’s not,” he says, and upon your confused expression continues, “i got your text.”

right, because you used the shitty in-flight wifi to try and get your message to him. looks like it worked.

“oh, good then,” you heave a sigh of relief as you let yourself relax, subtly slinking lower against the booth.

over supper, sae purposely asks you questions, about your work, your days, life in general, overloading you with them so you don’t even have a chance to ask him anything thus far.

neither of you even realise that it’s not a 24-hour place, but it’s not a surprise that being itoshi sae has its privileges. before long, the only customers are you and the boy you like and your impatience that puts its foot down and bites the bait.

“why did you push your flight back, sae?”

his bowl is long cleared and all he has to busy himself with is the hot ocha on his side. he looks out the window for a moment, as if contemplating something before he spots the waiter and asks for the bill.

another attempt at shaking the question off that won’t earn him any points because the moment you step out of the airport and into the chilly air outside, you question him again.

“sae, tell me.”

sae takes a deep breath, and you can see the bare hint of a flush in his cheeks. it’s not that obvious, but you can see it.

he finally lets up for the first time tonight, the life granting a glint in his eyes. he chuckles, and he shakes his head, though his smile is subtle—just barely visible.

“you’re still as irritating as when you were a kid, you know?” he remarks, and you find yourself crossing your arms before he finally relents.

after a small pause, he takes a step towards you, his body barely inches from yours. he leans down to your ears, with a voice that’s barely a whisper, “i wanted my birthday wish to come true.”

this isn’t fair, itoshi sae.

“and what’s that?” you ask because he’s still there, his neck right next to your lips and sucking the energy out of you because it’s always nerve-wracking being near him even if you’ve known him most of your life. l

“i wanted…” he pauses, hesitant to say, “to see you. in person.”

and he finally straightens back up, giving you room to breathe.

is it greedy of you to not be satisfied? you feel like this could be a fever dream. are you sick?

“why?” you ask again, and you find yourself trailing after him when he refuses to answer.

sae flags down a cab, telling him your address, word for word correctly and it doesn’t register to you that despite never having been there, he remembers it like the curve of the soccer ball, like the arc of his passes.

nothing is ever too much effort if it’s worth it.

you’ve just never thought you were ever in sae’s head.

by the time you reach your apartment, the both of you are shriveling in awkwardness, too stubborn and stupid for too long that you’re too used to it.

“this one, right?” sae asks when he gets to your unit, the one in the corner of the top floor.

you nod weakly, and sae purses his lips before he pushes the luggage towards you.

“get some rest. you must be tired,” is all he tells you before he starts to make a move, heading back towards the elevator.

but you’re sick of it. sick of the chances you never take and sick of how you’re too scared to even try. your fingers reach out to grab the hem of his jacket sleeve, holding him back.

“i wanted to see you too,” you declare, even if he never asked. you get greeted by the sight of his widening eyes, by the slight upward tug of his lips. “you’re never free when i am and i just—fuck—i hate it. and you’re so accomplished and i’m happy for you, really, but i… i miss you.”

(sae looks at you, looking at the floor, looking guilty as if saying you miss someone is a sin. he feels the way his heart aches in his chest—fuck, did he really miss you this much too?

he’s used to having the upper hand, always having you squirm in embarrassment, but why does he feel like it’s slipping with every instance he’s about to tell you how he really feels about you? why is it slipping every single time he sees you smile? in your photos, your stories, even the emojis you send in your fucking texts.)

“yeah, missed me that much?” he asks, teasing you a little as he sees your feet shift nervously.

what you do next catches him completely off-guard, his eyes snapping shut the moment you grab his jacket lapel, pulling him close and kissing him, tasting so sweet he would be tempted to ask you to do that all night.

by the time you pull away, sae isn’t ready. he’s not ready anymore. to leave you. not so soon. you’ve always been one of the few reasons he couldn’t bear to leave japan and not seeing you all this time has helped him tolerate it. now that you’re here, in the flesh, his fingers digging into your hips, he doesn’t think he can leave.

“you- um- what time’s your flight tomorrow?” you ask, breathless when you finally manage to pull away.

sae groans, shaking his head. “don’t wanna talk about that, doesn’t matter it’s fine, i’ll make it,” he mutters, eyes shutting close again because the next second he’s chasing your lips, swallowing your chuckles as you stumble to open your apartment door.

he makes the effort to kick your luggage inside before he feels his back hitting the back of the door, eyes flying open and being greeted with a smirk on your face.

so you have this kind of side to you too.

sae smiles a little wider now, shaking his head when you wrap your arms around his neck, jumping up with your legs around his waist as you drown him in kisses that would probably last him at most a few days.

“sorry, i know this is more than you wished for,” you laugh weakly in between kisses.

sae shakes his head. “i don’t mind a bonus,” he jokes, and you hit him playfully on the chest.

it’s a little surreal to you that the boy you’ve had a crush on for half your life is actually reciprocating. you’ve watched him play pro-soccer since he was a teen until now, when you’re both full-fledged adults. you’ve never thought that anything would work out. not when you’re just barely navigating through life while he has his whole career figured out.

not when you’re always shit out of luck. but if this is the kind of luck that you get, you’ll take it.

“i… i’ve always liked you, itoshi sae,” you confess, foreheads pressed against one another’s as he continues to hold you in his arms, stronger than you remember.

a low hum leaves his throat. “i know, rin told me the first time i came back to japan from spain.”

you might actually kill rin.

(sae bites back a chuckle. he never thought of it much at all back then. he barely cared for anything except soccer. he can’t even remember when he started to think of you more. miss you. wish to see you on birthdays, on new year eves, on new years, christmases, whatever occasions there are in a year.)

“i think i might love you,” he confesses, and it takes your breath away.

you can only blink, slowly letting it sink in. you get down off his arms, both of you locking gazes and never looking away.

“think you could do that from halfway across the world too?” you ask.

it dawns on him what you’re afraid of, but after years of pining for you, sae has no doubt in his head.

“think i could do that forever, no matter where we are,” sae assures you, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “could you grant me one more wish?”

you swallow the lump in your throat. “what is it?”

“be mine.”

and this is his birthday (it’s still not 11 october in other parts of the world!) but you feel like it’s your lucky day.

“i think i’ve always been yours, itoshi sae.”

and for the first time since you’ve known him, you see him smile. wider than you’ve ever seen. you finally see the path clearing, you can finally tell, somehow—itoshi sae will be yours for life.

[inklore]

I’ve seen your reblog ‘“i’ve been thinking about you all day” as they’re filling your pussy’ and I was wondering if it was okay to request this with Jordan Li (established relationship)

NIGHTS LIKE THESE

pairing: jordan li x (f)reader

contents: foreplay, p in v, oral, this is very soft, it’s basically fluff with smut, both of their presenting forms involved, everyone is love sick and clingy idk | wc: 860

note: they're everything to me!! i have something much longer in the works for them but i needed to write something quick and yearny.

Your wrists are pinned above your head, their fingers twined with yours as they hold you in place, as if you’d ever escape them, leave them, or try to. 

As if you could go anywhere with their body pressed against yours and their hips moving between your thighs. 

Slow thrusts that make you feel every inch of them moving inside of you. Fucking you at that languid pace that comes from the frustration of long days and the yearning that pricks at one’s heart from being separated for too long. 

Course work and keeping your rankings are chores in and of themselves, but living up to the expectations it sets is even harder. So if a day goes by and Jordan can’t have you pressed up against them, at their side, or at the very least your nose in your test books laying against the other sprawled on their bed, each of you doing your own thing: their day just doesn't feel right. 

Doesn’t feel normal if they can’t pull you to the side in the hall and press a kiss on your lips. 

Can’t get the death glare you always give them when they forget to eat lunch because they were too busy helping Brink, and you surprise them with dinner and dessert—the dessert usually forgotten and turns into you between their legs or vice versa. 

Their days aren’t normal unless you’re in them. 

They haven’t felt normal since the two of you decided to try this. To be together. 

“You’ve rewired me,” they mumble against your shoulder as the two of you try to fall asleep one night. The clock on your nightstand glowing 1:00AM in big, haunting letters. Your night supposed to be spent working, but there are only so many sneaking glances and innocent touches against skin before you are both done pretending you want to do anything besides have the other naked and against you all day. 

And you know that they’ve rewired you too. 

Made the fucked up in your life a little less fucked, made the days easier to endure when there’s the constant pressure of greatness looming over you. 

You could crash and burn, and you know you’d still have their support, just as they would have yours. And that’s a higher score than rankings could ever give you. 

It’s rare the two of you will go a day without seeing each other, without ending up pressed together in bed—weed filled lungs laughing until the haze lolls you to sleep and you’re waking the next morning to Jordan’s alarm clock and the shifting groan of both their forms pulling their pillow over their head. Pulling you back down into bed when you actually do something crazy like get up and not lay with them for five more minutes. 

But nights like these make up for days when you are both swamped and Brink needs Jordan for something, and you are stuck alone with your nose in a book or forcing Marie and Emma to get Vought A Burger with you. 

Nights where there’s no rush. No need to go fast and get off as many times as your body aches for—as many times as the other wants to swallow and taste the pleasure each time you come against them, on top of them, or inside of you. Like you’re both dying of thirst, and only the others come will do. 

These nights are slow. Savored. Like you’ve been away at war rather than occupied over a span of twenty four hours. 

Jordan kisses you achingly slowly these nights. Let’s their tongue linger in your mouth for longer than normal, nipping at your bottom lip with gentle teeth. Their fingers stripping you of your clothes like they need to press their lips to every bit of skin they free. 

And when their tongue finally makes contact with your pussy it feels like you can finally breathe. Like you’ve been holding your breath for days—all night—for them to finally soothe the ache that they’ve caused. 

Their hips buck against the air when you switch positions, and your tongue presses between their thighs. A slow tease of teeth and tongue tracing down their hip bones until you’ve reached where they’re soaked, or hard for you. 

Neither of you letting the other come until Jordan is inside of you. 

Until you’re both sighing from that first initial push inside, the head of their cock easily fills you with how wet you are—how wet they’ve made you. Gasps breathed into mouths from that first slow roll of their hips. 

It’s heady and fucking torturous, and you love it. 

You both do. 

“I’ve been thinking about you all day,” they murmur against your lips. Their fingers flexing against yours as they keep them above your head, as they completely take control of your body and show you just what they’ve been thinking about. “You take up every part of my brain, and it’s a problem, but I fucking love it.” They moan into your mouth; roll their hips in that way that has air whooshing from your lungs and your pelvis pushing up to drive them deeper. 

[afterglowsainz]

guilty as sin? | oscar piastri

summary: you and oscar can't be together, but that doesn't stop either of you from wanting each other

warnings: drinking, mentions of masturbation

word count: 2k

a/n: this song is my hyperfixation rn! also, i don't write smut (which is not what this is) but i had to include the last part of the fic, the nature of the song forced me to!

the tortured athletes department series

everyone and their mother knew that you and oscar liked each other, but things were never that simple between the two of you.

oscar being an f1 driver for mclaren in his second year and you being a pr manager for f1, dating within the workplace was a complete no; besides the fact that it just made things more complicated than they had to be, it was also forbidden by your boss. that and also the fact that the two of you were too proud to be the first one to give in, so neither of you did. it was a bit immature, sure, but it was what it was.

so since you couldn’t be together, the only way to fight the feeling was simply date other people, and you both did that well. for oscar it was easy because he usually just went back to his ex, which made you extremely jealous because she was the only woman you thought you couldn’t compare to, they had years of history, and you were the relatively new girl, how could you stand up against her? easy, you couldn’t, or so you thought. finding someone for you wasn’t hard either, unlike oscar, you didn’t date the same person the whole time because you didn’t have an ex, so you just picked a boy of the month and made oscar jealous, which was quite easy because oscar got jealous of every guy who even looked at your direction.

at this moment, at the after-party of the miami grand prix, it was one of those rare moments where none of you were dating and you were both single, but still, not together. you had to admit you’ve been drinking shots of vodka since you arrived at the place and haven’t stopped since, which made you a bit tipsy but not drunk. you were on your way out of the bathroom when you accidentally slipped on a wet patch at the club’s floor and you had to lean on the person closest to avoid falling.

“oh.” a small shocked sound came out of you. “sorry, i’m sorry.” you apologized to the person next to you, who put his arms around your waist to avoid you from falling.

“it’s okay.” you hear your favorite voice in the world and look up to see his face close to you.

“hey.” you smile.

“hello.” he answers with his beloved australian accent.

“didn’t see you there.” you look at your surroundings, the bathroom was in the dark side of the club and not many people were around

“yeah, i was hiding.” he admits. you nod in understanding.

“alone?” you arch your brow after not seeing any of his friends nearby.

“i just need a second.”

you nod again. oscar can get overwhelmed very easily so you knew what he needed.

“have you been drinking?” he asks now. you avoid his eyes, focusing on the people dancing in front of you.

“yeah.” you admit. “that’s not why i almost fell though, the floor is wet.” he chuckles and nods with a smile. “have you?”

“just a little, not much.” you turn to look at him and it was now him who was avoiding your gaze. “where’s your boyfriend?” he asks.

right. you forgot to tell oscar that you broke up with the last guy you were seeing. it was stupid, really, you just didn’t like the way he dressed, he wore skinny jeans and hoodies most of the time and that irritated you for some reason. he was also not oscar.

“we’re not together anymore.” you say waiting for a reaction which you get.

“oh?” he asks, arching his brow and looking back at you. his expression however, stays the same.

a scary thought crosses your mind and you feel sick almost thinking of it, but now that you thought of it you can’t forget it, so you just ask.

“did you get back with lily?” you wait for what it feels like an eternity for his answer, but it only really takes him about three seconds to respond.

“no, we’re not together.”

you felt like breathing out all the air in your lungs in relief, but you didn’t out of respect.

“nice.” you say instead, which earns oscar another chuckle.

“yeah.” he says simply.

you stand by each other in silence, just watching the people around you not having a single care in the world. like it was a gravitational force pulling you to him, you started getting closer and closer until your hands were touching each other. you were feeling bold that night, bold enough to maybe make the first move. when you felt his finger rubbing against your hands you snap your head to look at him, but before you could talk you hear a male voice interrupting you.

“y/n”. they called you.

at lightning speed, oscar gets away from you and you feel like punching the person who interrupted you. when you turn you see the face of one of your best friends who also happens to work in formula 1.

“just wanted to make sure everything was okay.” he says. “you left a few minutes ago.”

you smile at him like you internally didn’t want to kill him.

“all good.” you answer. “just catching up with oscar here.” you tilted your head towards the australian until your friend finally noticed him.

he looks a bit shocked when he realizes he interrupted you.

“hi mate, how are you?” he asks him, a bit shy, trying to play it cool. oscar just smiles slightly at him.

“all good.” he looks at your friend and then back to you. “well i should get back with them.” he tilts his head towards lando and some of the other drivers.

you couldn’t think of anything fast enough to make him stay, so you just nodded. he said his goodbyes and left you two alone.

“mate!” you finally recriminate your friend and playfully slapped his arm.

the laugh that erupted from him was a mix between amusement and regret.

“i’m sorry!” he apologized, taking you back towards your other friends through the club. “i didn’t know you were together, we were actually worried.”

“that’s fine.” you respond while rolling your eyes. “let’s just drink.”

you spent the next hour forgetting about the world around you and just drinking and dancing with your friends like it was the last night on earth. it was also pretty fair to say that you were already drunk at this point. not embarrassingly drunk, you could still stand on your feet and have a conversation without dragging your words, but you were definitely beyond the point of being sober.

“i have to go to the bathroom again.” you screamed at the ear of your friend and she nodded in understanding.

“do you want me to go with you?” she screamed back at you. you shook your head.

“i won’t take long.” she just nodded and let you go.

this time you weren’t planning on taking as long as it took you last time, you just wanted to go back to your friends as soon as possible to continue having fun. but just like the first time, the only person in the world that you wanted to be with was right there again, next to the bathroom exit and somehow hiding in the shadows, but this time you saw him.

“oscar!” you screamed over the music.

he snaps his head towards your face, always finding you in a room full of people. a smirk appears on his face as you approach him and you can tell by the look of him that he has also been drinking more.

“thought i wouldn’t see you for the rest of the night.” he whispers once you’re close enough.

you take your time to answer, just taking him in.

“hiding again?” you ask.

“too many shots.” he says. “needed to take a minute.”

you bite your lip shamelessly and he notices it, immediately wishing it was his instead. 

“oscar.” you smile and whisper his name.

“y/n.” he whispers back, his eyes fixated on your lips.

you mimic him and lower your eyes to his lips as well. since you were drunk and every ounce of shame left your body long ago, you’re bold enough to touch his chest, your hands traveling all the way to the back of his neck, pulling yourself closer to him.

“oscar.” you whisper again, touching his cheeks, just wanting to feel him. “oscar.”

you felt his arms wrapping around your waist, bringing you as close to him as possible. your face inches away from his.

“y/n.” he whispers again.

you think that is gonna happen, it’s definitely gonna happen right here right now, but everything comes crumbling down when you feel a different pair of arms pulling you away from your waist.

“hey, there you are!” someone exclaims and the connection between you and oscar immediately breaks. “sorry mate, she gets touchy when she’s drunk.” the voice says and you instantly recognize it as one of the friends you came with.

“i’m not drunk!” you defend yourself, facing him with a frown on your face for ruining the moment.

“right.” he says incredulously. “she’s touchy all the time.” this was now directed at oscar.

you felt like screaming at the top of your lungs for having your moment with oscar ruined for the second time in the night, but you controlled yourself, allowing your friend to grab your back and direct you to your friends.

“bye, oscar.” you whisper, waving your hand slightly.

he doesn’t answer back, but you can see the strained smile on his face and the nod he gives you. when you’re far enough, you look at your friend with impotence.

“what the hell was that?” you yell. “didn’t you see i was busy?”

“that was me saving your ass.” he says without major emotion. “you were about to kiss oscar drunk and you and i both know that’s impossible.”

you sighed and crossed your arms like a little girl throwing a tantrum. working in formula 1 was hard, and trying to date in it was even harder, almost impossible.

“is it ever going to be easy?” you ask no one in particular, but your friend answers anyway.

“well, it’s you and oscar, so probably not.” you think about it for a few seconds until he interrupts your train of thought. “come on, we were leaving already.” he says.

you follow your friends to the exit of the club and get into the first uber that’s taking you back to the hotel. the trip doesn’t take long and you just chat with your friend for most of it. once in the hotel you say goodbye to everyone and go up to your room, trying to catch some sleep. 

it shouldn’t be hard to fall asleep considering that you’ve been working all day and you just spend hours at the club, however, there was one thing at the back of your mind that didn’t let you rest. you couldn’t shake the feeling of oscar’s hands in your body back at the club, almost cornering him into the wall, the two of you just feeling each other. you were frustrated for sure, tossing and turning in bed for an hour straight until you couldn’t fight the feeling anymore. 

you bit your lip for a moment, thinking if this was actually appropriate, but soon enough the intrusive thoughts took over your mind and you just think fuck it. 

you touch yourself that night with only one person in your mind, wishing it was him that was making you feel good, knowing that he would make you feel even better; you screamed his name when you climaxed. before you can think of what you just did you decide to go to bed as soon as possible, finally feeling tired enough to sleep.

ten minutes after you went to bed, you missed oscar’s text asking you if you were still awake, which he deleted five minutes after you didn’t answer him.

[kisseobie]

jasmine

pairing: non idol jongseob x fem!reader

genre: fluff

a saccharine summer evening spent at your favorite nail parlor is so much sweeter when you’re accompanied by a boy made out of star-shaped tangerines 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

tags: established relationship, reader is slightly anxious, the sweetest boyfie seob, reader is sooo girly, slightly suggestive if you squint, jongseob thinks ur the prettiest girl in the world, usage of petnames (baby, princess, etc..), yall are so in love it’s sick, no smut in this but mdni pls

a/n: haiii everyone ^_^ so i haven’t written self inserts in years but i desperately crave more jongseob fics (as u can see from my last post lol) sooooo here i am!! this is very self indulgent but if i like how this goes i mighttttt start taking piwon requests :p please be kind as i haven’t written in a veryyyy long time… anyways enjoy 𓇼⋆｡˚

listening to: jasmine - dpr live ♪

“they have to soak off my previous set before they get started so you really don’t have to stay with me here if you don’t want to seob.. it’s gonna be 2 hours at least.”

you shyly inform him as you begin to retrieve your phone from your back pocket to search for your appointment confirmation email as the pair of you come to a gentle halt in front of the entrance of your favorite nail salon. you pause before entering, turning to face towards him as the salty breeze of the nearby boardwalk cards through jongseob’s copper colored hair, a sight that makes you swoon. “you sure you won’t be bored?” you ask shyly, and jongseob gives you a toothy grin in return, eyes crinkling softly as he tilts his head towards the sliding doors of the salon, a sweet and silent reply to your hesitance that speaks, “i’m never bored when i’m with you”. he slowly lifts his hand to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear and kisses your cheek, all whilst interlacing his fingers with your slightly smaller ones as you both make your way into the salon.

you somehow find yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with him.

it’s been just short of a year since kim jongseob first approached you, fidgeting with the fabric of his favorite hoodie and swaying back and forth on his heels to ease his nerves as he asked you for your number. the sweet boy expected for you to kindly let him down (partly because you had never spoken to him a day in your life, and partly because of the gorillaz logo on his apparel), but to his astonishment, you simply punched your number into his keypad, and one text reading: “hi :)” led to a plethora of late night conversations, hushed giggles shared in his bedroom, and coffee flavored kisses in the mornings (much to his roomates’ dismay).

he’s wearing that same hoodie this evening too.

the domesticity of your blooming relationship is new, but never unwelcome, so it didn’t surprise you when he asked to accompany you when you were cuddled up with him a few nights ago, haphazardly mentioning that you were planning to get a new set of acrylics soon. seob had been paying for your previous sets despite your constant disapproval, but this was his first time going with you to a booking, and it felt oddly intimate, like you were starting to enter a more serious stage of your relationship.

jongseob’s reassurance allows you to let go of your irrational fear of him dying of boredom during your appointment, and with that, you two carry onto your seven o’clock session.

“girl, that’s your man? that’s the one you were telling me about?”

are the first words that leave your nail tech’s lips as as you settle down into her usual station, setting your purse to the side, straightening your jean skirt, and adjusting your bra strap as you question the surprise written all over her face. you had spent countless of sessions with her discussing your relationship with jongseob, her even being there for the details of your distant crush on him prior to you being asked out. always the persistent type, she had been practically begging for you to bring him around these last few appointments, mentioning something about “taking a good look” at the boy who had swiftly stolen your heart.

your tech must have noticed the slight blush of embarrassment appearing on your cheeks, because she jumped to clarifying her previous statement with, “i don’t mean that in a bad way babe! he’s definitely very attractive, i was just surprised you were so shy in approaching him is all.” at these words you tilted your head a bit, only more confused about the implications of what she was attempting to tell you.

“y/n, he was staring at you the entire time you were checking in like he’d hang the stars and moon for you if you’d ask. he had that dopey lovesick look and everything. he’s obviously smitten, you have literally nothing to worry about.” she relays to you with amusement as she dips your fingertips in acetone.

you let out a deep breath you didn’t know you were holding in and quietly giggle. “really? okay i’m really glad you said that, he’s been so sweet to pay for all of my sets without me even asking him to and i was just so worried that he’d hate me forever if he got bored sitting here. i think i’m just not used to doing simple chores with him rather than elaborately planned dates” you whisper to her. you then take a peek at your boyfriend’s comfortable form lounging on one of the hot pink seats of the salon, his nintendo switch clad in one hand, and his cheek pressing against the other. you notice he only has his left airpod in, just in case you needed to call for him. your heart melts at the sight, and you finally turn your full attention back to your tech, now removing your old set of nails.

as you wait patiently in your chair you begin to lightly sway your head to the song playing on a distant salon speaker, one that your boyfriend coincidentally has on repeat each time your with him nowadays. “it’s called jasmine, it reminds me of you.” is what you remember him telling you one morning, when you woke up for the first time in his bed, wired headphones connecting you both as the dpr live track overtook the cozy atmosphere.

every now and then you and seob glance at each other from across the salon, to which you both begin breaking out into big smiles and rosy cheeks. your nail technician carries on with replicating the reference nails you showed her to a T, but not without silently noting the heart eyes you and jongseob shoot at each other everytime your eyes happen to lock. this time, he mischievously motions for you to glance at your phone, a quiet “ding!” from your cell grasping both you and your tech’s attention.

[seobie ᥫ᭡]: you look so pretty right now baby, i’m so excited to feel your nails in my hair later lol

[seobie ᥫ᭡]: and maybe scratching my back too ;)

[seobie ᥫ᭡]: omg that was so embarrassing im so sorry please look away plead im so bad at this fuck

you look away from your screen embarrassingly fast, flustered and avoiding any eye contact with both your loser boyfriend (who is wallowing in his own embarrassment) and the woman now raising her eyebrows in front of you as she waits for your nails to cure under the uv lamp.

she is so making fun of you for that next time.

“andddd we’re done! just go wash your hands and your boyfriend can pay at the desk. he looks like he’s gonna flip if he isn’t holding you in some way in the next two minutes and i really don’t need to witness that.” she exclaims, not without exaggeratedly rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

you begin to fully assess your fresh new set of acrylics, now topped off with a sparkly clear coat. your nail tech even added some oil to your cuticles to try and make up for months of self-inflicted damage. after a minute of observing, you hum in approval, deducing happily that your boyfriend is going to love the colors you chose: tangerine with hints of cherry red to subtly match with his hair.

“perfect, just like always. thank you so much!” you say while handing her a generous tip, to which she holds out her hand in refusal and shakes her head. “no tip today, just go spend some time with him, i’m so happy for you y/n, seriously.” she replies kindly. you give her a hug to say thanks and tuck the cash back into your purse, turning and making your way towards the chair your boyfriend is currently occupying as he watches you with a warm smile, hands crossed in front of his chest as he holds back a laugh.

“what’s so funny?” you question as you approach him slowly.

“i called her beforehand and sent her a tip for you, i knew you were gonna try to pay somehow.” he giggles as he stands up. you scoff, but deep down you know you should have known he would outsmart you like this.

“i can’t believe you! i’ve told you a hundred times before that i don’t want you to spend your money on me!” you try to reason with him, to which he cuts your frustration off with a simple “who’s going to take care of you then, princess? now show me your nails!” he says as he hovers his hands in front of him, a signal for you to follow suit so he can observe the result of the previous two hours of work.

you decide to drop the subject for now and let excitement take over once again at his request, bouncing up and down whilst placing your hands atop of his palms, not allowing him to speak before you explain that “they match your hair, see? i asked her to do orange and red ombre!! and i know you love stars so i also asked her to add little golden star studs on my pinky nails! what do you think babe?” you half squeal out at him, clearly awaiting his approval.

“you did this for me?” he asks.

you deflate a little, dreading the small chance that your next words will result in an underwhleming reaction from him. “well yeah, sorry if it’s weird, i just wanted to do something nice since you offered to accompany me even though you would just be sitting in your chair for two hou—” he cuts off your anxious rambling with a strong kiss to your lips, followed by both of his palms covering the sides of your face to pull you impossibly closer. you gasp from the sudden movement, and just as you close your eyes to reciprocate, your boyfriend pulls back to show you the prettiest smile you have ever seen on his face.

“i guess you like them.” you sheepishly respond, holding back a smile equally as large.

he just replies by peppering your tanned skin with tangerine flavored kisses, each peck accompanied with the words “i love you, i love you so much”.

you and jongseob finally step out of the salon hand in hand, the cool air blowing onto your faces as you squeeze your interlocked fingers. jongseob presses on the pedestrian call button with one hand as you both anticipate the streetlamp to shift to green. you fill the comfortable silence with giggles and the occasional kiss to the cheek the entire commute to the subway, uncaring of prolonged glances from onlookers. words are only spoken an hour later when you’ve finally enter the warmth of his (and practically your) bedroom. jongseob turns towards you this time, clearly not as timid as he was hours before, smirking while pronouncing,

“in case you were still wondering, that offer from my text earlier still stands…”

it’s your turn to roll your eyes and shut him up, tugging him roughly towards you with the front of his stupid hoodie as your mouths connect with an urgency you’ve never felt before, the pair of you hurriedly falling on top of his bed as your nails make contact with his scalp.

𓇼⋆｡˚

in the quiet of the night, considered by some as early hours of the morning, jongseob holds your bare frame tightly against his own as he strokes his hand along your freckled back. your warm breaths tuck into the small crevices of his chest as your tangerine tinted nails draw hearts lightly into his skin, and with that, the two of you gradually lull into a peaceful slumber, but not before you look up at him and whisper,

“i did it for you.”

a/n: mwahahahahahahahaha it’s finally out.. thank u for being patient!! it was honestly so motivating to see that despite the fact that so many people had never read my writing before, their love for jongseob made them crave this fic soooo much LMFAOO we all are so down bad for this man it’s a bit insane. anyways like i said i haven’t written for years so this was short and a little choppy but i tried my best and hopefully i’ll get better with time ^_^ anyways i’ll be finishing up my next fic soon and then i’ll start working on requests!! thank u for reading, it means a lot to me <3

please do not repost my writing!

tags:

@chuuswifereal @angelcbf @lakoya @zendieya-8 @bambispostsblog @saturnh0ney @theyluvsosa @youresolivlie @woozixo @www90kitsch @sirenla @ihatewreckingballmains @curiousgworge @haileyyey @khfviq @highkeyadumbasslmao @lovebunnys-world @astro-doll-the-star @kyokopi @meowmeowjang @imma-penguin1 @sophia-is-tiny

ᥫ᭡

[1nthedarknessofthenight]

﴾ i drink your blood and i eat your skin, part eleven.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x f!reader

genre: vampire au

word count: 11,4K

warnings: angst ⋆ smut ⋆ blood!drinking ⋆ thigh!riding

masterlist

playlist

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You felt disconnected, as if you were watching yourself through someone else’s eyes. You didn’t feel like yourself anymore. It was as though you were losing yourself — your life, even if that life hadn’t seemed like much to live for. You were falling again and now you’re not sure if you’ll be able to get back up. The fear within you made you sick. You thought about how much time you truly have left. You can’t push this reality away, but it hurts even more when you realize that, in some way, you’re finally starting to feel.

You cannot describe it. You were in some way in the future,, but also right here at this moment. Everything seemed unreal to you. From learning about the supernatural, coming across the most gruesome sights your eyes have ever seen, to feeling — feeling wanted. You are doing it again…jumping away from your body and thinking about anything else than the present.

You were so scared…and you felt pathetic that you were only thinking about yourself right now. You should think about Mia and the others, about the fact that they also maybe be in danger. It’s been so long since you last saw them that it nearly felt like they weren’t truly there in the first place. You feel so selfish that the only thing you can think about is yourself right now…

There is so much that you haven’t seen and till now you didn’t even think twice about what you accomplished in your life. Which was nothing…Maybe these few days are truly your last. One side is making you terrified, but the other keeps pushing you to…him.

Was he really your the lost part of your soul or just a man leading you to your death?

Though he’s death and light all in one. There is darkness around him, like a cape, but under it is a man who showed you ways to life you have never knew. He made you look at life like it was just the beginning, maybe because he died so young and such a long time ago that there wasn’t anything other than death for him. The more you spend time with him, the more you fall deeper into the darkness. It was consuming, wrong, but oh, so appetizing.

You can’t get enough of it. His cold, pale skin and bloodied eyes that should scare you, but you thought you have never seen something as mesmerizing as the way they stared into yours. In a way you two were different, but the more you two become selfish, the more you taste the forbidden fruit — the more it stained both of your souls. You are supposed to be scared of him and once you were, but you realize that it was only the fear of the unknown.

You know him, you know him well enough to see how much blind you were. Your insecurities kept pushing you away from him and even your mind, but your heart still held the reins. You hate how you are again becoming absolutely consumed by someone. But he also couldn’t get enough of you…

The night when you were peacefully asleep, mind empty and body unaware of his lingering stare, he almost lost it. He almost lost control. Hyunjin’s chest filled with panic. The tickling of the clock became unbearable. Time was slowly closing on both of you and he for the first time became scared by how much it went by. Can he really pretend to be alright? To just sit here and wonder what would happen if he would just let go and finally have you?

On him, under him, in him — he would let you crawl your way into his heart and let you squeeze it hard enough so that it would maybe started to beat again. He wants to give everything and every part of him to you, just as much as he wants for you to give yours. Everything — your touch, so warm on his freezing skin, your eyes, so bright and youthful yet so wise, your lips, so soft and careful about your words, your body, so plush and full and your soul…that he maybe never truly feel.

Every moment without you went so slow, it was agonizing, but with you? So fast…He doesn’t know if he should pull away from you and give you more time or just let be selfish…but was it even selfishness, were his deepest desires taking control over him?

You look over your own features. You could see every wrinkle, spot, even the subtle fuzz on your skin. However you can’t recognize yourself. Your eyes seem hollow to you, in a way you have never seen them before. Was the fear of dying already sucking the life out of you? You looked sick and tired, but you really couldn’t beat yourself up for it. This paranoia of someone just hiding here in this room with you was choking you. You know that no-one is, but you also thought that yesterday.

Even after sleeping almost the whole day, you felt exhausted. You didn’t have appetite for anything, asking yourself if eating was truly necessary if you maybe be gone soon. Your mind was only filled with the person you saw yesterday or as you thought you did. The more you thought about it, the more it seems to become just a fragment of your imagination. Those vibrant eyes started to shift into nothing and you really do wonder if you were just dreaming.

You were going insane, there was nothing else to say, but Hyunjin of course thought the opposite. He held your quivering body, speaking so softly into your ear and you finally felt calm at that moment for the first time. No whispers, no pain, just him. You need him and that is another thing that scares you. You don’t want to become undetachable from him, but you are already in the deep end — you won’t get out of it.

You trace over the skin of your wrist, pushing lightly into your pulse. Your skin is too thick and soft for his thin and coarse one. Your lips almost quiver, tongue vibrating just from the memory of his taste. You feel your heart jump under your fingers, checking if you didn’t turn into one of them. Your nights were starting to become the part of the day when you felt the most comfortable, maybe because it meant he would be there also — like in every corner of your mind.

You hear a knock on the door of the bedroom, however the sound almost sounded dull to your ears. Your eyes jump to your own reflection in the mirror you stood before, hands gripping tightly at the fabric of your dress. “May I come in?” Echoes around you, eyes staring at the still closed door through the mirror.

You clutch the dress tighter over your chest, feeling the cold air kissing the skin of your back. You wonder silently how much time you spend here just staring at yourself half dressed. A silence falls right after those words and you quickly go back and forth between if you should let him in and see you like this. No one ever did and will someone ever? See you in your most vulnerable — your skin, unsupported and naked for his eyes.

The taste of his blood comes back to you. How you acted while it still stained your lips…you do not feel ashamed about it. Maybe something in his blood made you act like that, but you can’t hide the fact that it was just mostly him. You can’t even imagine how it must feel like if the roles were reversed. Even being human — nothing ever felt so good…“Come in.” You whisper, shocking yourself with your boldness, but simply you can’t hold on any longer. Time is your enemy at the moment as well as your sanity.

You watch the door to the bedroom open, momentarily mesmerized by how you can’t see him entering. The door only opened halfway, no one being seen entering, but you can feel the air shifting. You can feel his stare right on your naked back and you almost shiver as the door closes slowly.

A heavy, thick blanket of silence falls over you. Your fingers twitched around the fabric in your hands, pushing it against your chest a little tighter. The sounds of the floor gives him away and with your eyes wide open you swear that you see the wood bending under his weight. You do not turn around however. Maybe because you are too scared to do so, your boldness disappearing into thin air as he comes closer to you. Your eyes close, even if you can’t see him in the first place, it was mostly just not to see yourself. How the tops of your soft breasts spill over the dark maroon fabric and your fingers, how you can just feel the rolls of skin on your back sticking out.

Momentarily you whisper a prayer, for what you don’t even know yourself. You feel him, how he stops right behind you, the soft puffs of air tickling the back of your neck. You feel his fingers at that delicate skin, playing with your soft hairs. Your hair was pulled to the side and the naked side is quickly warmed up by his breath.

He can feel your goosebumps, your every breath that passed through your bitten lips. His eyes trail over you, taking in the sight of your naked skin. Hyunjin can’t help it, but he knows you basically gave him your permission the moment you let him in. His fingers graze the side of your neck, stilling just for a second to be sure you want him to touch you. You almost didn’t even blink, staring into your own eyes, knowing you could basically feel his stare in them through the mirror. Only reaction you gave him was a sigh as if you have been waiting for him to do that.

He travels lower, pressing just a little harder against the prominent vein in your neck, before his fingers dance over your shoulder, stopping at your back. He couldn’t believe that he is being able to touch you like this, losing himself very quickly in your plush skin. It appeared so radiant next to his, but he could see the small changes. How you appeared drained of color, of life. Hyunjin even if he eagerly caressed the dip of your lower back, wonders where exactly this change of behavior appeared in you.

If he could, he would shiver, when he presses his palm on the middle of your back. Your eyes droop slightly at the feeling. He was being so delicate with you still and that maybe wasn’t exactly what you truly desired, but deep down it was what you truly needed. To be held and touched softly by the only man your heart seems to know. You always wondered what it felt like to be truly desired and maybe it is right before you. You knew what it meant to be bigger in size, but you did after a while realized that even if you are bigger, smaller, it doesn’t matter — everyone deserves to be desired and loved.

“You slept the whole day.” Hyunjin says, extending his hand, his fingers almost galloping your whole back.

You close your eyes again, breathing heavily from his touch. You silently asked yourself why you didn’t let him touch you more like this. His fingers dipping into you made you shake in excitement. Maybe you are bit exaggerating, but with him all of these things seemed more heightened. You hope that he isn’t repulsed by this sight, but you can tell by his touch that it was quite the opposite. His whole hand travels up to your shoulder blade, fingers squeezing at your skin and by it you wake up your your trance.

“Tired…” You mumble back, not really thinking about making up a better answer than that. It was simple, yet truthful. As your own hands leave you momentarily to fix up the front of the dress, you see them shaking. You are truly just a frigid little girl after all, how could you even think of being confidently in yourself like that before a man like him. Your face scrunches up for a split second at your own hurtful words and when your head falls down to possibly hide, Hyunjin only pulls you closer to his side. He turns you around softly to look at him, but your eyes remain on the cold wooden floor. “Will you help me?” You ask him, ruffling the fabric of the dress. Though you need more help than just with dressing up.

For his answer his other hand finds your body, unnecessarily dragging his fingers down your back to get to the strings of the corset, blunt nails kissing your skin. You jump forward a little as his subtle touch tickles, but also sets fire all together. You turn back around again at that, glancing at yourself in the mirror for a moment. You feel him breathing down on your neck, but still you can’t see him. You feel him pull the dress tighter, fingers subtly dancing across your skin as he goes to tighten the corset.

You wish to see him now as you carefully put your breast into the front of your dress, still being careful enough so nothing is visible. He is helping you dress up, but both of you kind of wished for the opposite. However you were too shy and nervous and he on the other hand knows that he wouldn’t be able to control himself. “I’m not looking, don’t worry.” He says, voice low and so close to your ear, you had to fight back another shiver.

You do not know if it is the corset or him, but you are fighting for air. “What if I want you to…” You whisper to yourself, mind too occupied by the memory of him from yesterday to even realize what you just said. You blankly stare at yourself, reminiscing how it felt to have your lips on — in his skin.

Hyunjin’s movements stop however at your statement. He had tied your dress just as those words left your mouth. It seems like you didn’t actually want him to hear them, but he can’t possibly ignore them. His fingers twitch, hovering over your waist. Hyunjin is completely aware of the way your eyes glaze over and he wonders if some of his blood still had some sort of hold on you.

He looks into your blown out pupils and then at your lips. The sight of his blood coating them will haunt his mind forever as well as also your sweet arousal staining the tip of his tongue. You smelled so delicious and so raw that he could taste it. His hand falls to the dip of your now covered waist. A sweet whisper of your name falls from his lips, but that sound seems to only echo around you. You look back from your own neck where you feel his cold breath to your eyes and you swear that you could see his reflecting in them.

You literally can let him right now, both of you knew that the thick tension hanging in the air will eventually break. But something’s still holding you back. You wish to have time to think about your every small move, but also if you won’t let go, you maybe will never have a chance of finally feeling his lips on yours. Why is it so hard to let him have you when it is everything you ever wanted?

You feel his hand even under the layers of clothing, not to mention his breaths ticking your neck. They were mostly intakes — intakes of your scent and you hope he doesn’t smell your troubled heart. But knowing him, he already has it memorized. You do not turn around, even if he keeps pushing you gently to glance at him. Your eyes however flicker to the glimmering plastic at the vanity next to you.

You turn to the side, looking at the pack of your unfinished cigarettes. You haven’t touched them in so long, maybe you are just in a need of one good cigarette to ease your worries. However you can’t find your appetite. Your finger traces over the graphic picture at the front of the packaging. You always didn’t put much mind into them, but now you wonder if you will end up in a worse state than a lung cancer. A hand comes from behind you, tall body hovering over yours for the hand to only fall on yours.

You are mesmerized by the size of his hand. Beautiful rings glimmer at you, but the sight of his wrist is the only thing that has your attention. It’s so interesting — there is no trace of your bite. His blood is cure yet a curse. “Did I hurt you?” You say, wondering if creatures like him can even feel such emotion.

“No, you can’t possibly.” Hyunjin he wants to say that it felt better than anything else. He can’t get it out of his head — your lips on his skin, sucking, teeth nibbling at his flesh. It should hurt, but to him it was sheer pleasure. He now fully understands how feeding from someone could be intimate…you showed him. He wishes that he could too, but when he remembers how close you were at biting at his pulse, he just can’t imagine how hard it would be for him to pull away. Maybe yesterday effect you a little too much. From your dream to him letting you drink from him. He can’t help, but think he did wrong. He wanted to make you feel better and it did in some way, but both of you can’t ignore the problem before you. Was he too much? He should’ve said what his blood does to human body, but why would he ruin the surprise?

Hyunjin is slowly overthinking just as much as you right now. He wants to be careful and caring, but being what he is, the natural urges in him win every time. Almost, now he softly touches your skin, his worries winning him over. You both know that your time together maybe be short, but also, someway you both cherish it. He wants to say that this is all of his fault. “Did I do something to hurt you?” He asks you, body touching yours. His heart aches at how cold you are, he wants to warm you up, but how?

“No…” You shake your head, tilting it to the side to look up at him finally. “You can’t possibly.” Your eyes go back and forth between his, never getting enough of his beauty.

He thinks the same about you. Even if there is obvious exhaustion in your features, your eyes held the same light as they always do. Time is a horrible thing — it makes people age, nature die, but at the end it all will blossom again. He knows that if the day comes, his whole world would be set on fire. Without you, he will never be able to exist again…nobody can save him, but you. “You are beautiful…” His face hides his emotions that are slowly eating him alive, just to revish this moment with you. Your lips lift up softly and he has to mirror it. “I have a small gift for you.” He says, his other hand finding your back again.

You suck in a sharp breath, too caught up at the feeling of his hand slowly coming to rest at the back of your neck. “A gift?” You repeat and he can tell that you are not too pleased, simply because you think that no one should be gifting you so many things. Though you are curious, watching how the hand on yours leaves you just to pull at the curtains next to you.

“Look out.” He says, pulling the fabric away, making the light of the setting sun hit your face, his body moving away slightly.

You have to squint a little, because the room is a little too dark and you feel how your skin immediately tingles by the warm light of the sun. When your eyes adjust, falling down to look below you, a gasp leaves your lips. “H-how…did you?” You are left speechless for a second, glancing at him and back at the garden. The rose bushes once red were now mostly white, eyes running over the few statures decorating the outside and you are taken by how the few red roses remained peaking out of the new ones. They are new, you only remember red ones being there and you quickly realized that he did it, just because you once said you liked them. “Oh, it’s beautiful, but why would you?”

He hears your heart skip a beat the moment you look back at him. His vibrant eyes shined in the darkness while yours are bathed in the sunlight. “Your opinions matter to me.” There’s a small pull at your eyebrows. “And I thought that a little lighter color would suit this place.” You only gaze up at him and his heart swells when he sees the tears gathering in your eyes. He hopes that he is not the cause of your pain, but the raw emotion in your eyes told him that it wasn’t pain at all — sadness and longing. Why can’t it be different? He doesn’t want to see tears in your eyes, he only wants to see you smile and laugh. Hyunjin is trying hard not to think of the future, just like you, but it is eating you both alive.

Yesterday — seeing you so exhausted and weak, made him almost break. He is getting the feeling that maybe the things that you saw should not be taken too lightly. He knows the secrets of the world, dark secrets. You looked like you weren’t even there, your soul far away and out of reach before he touched you. Maybe it really is just the fear and exhaustion playing their tricks, but the more he thought about it, the more the idea of something lingering around you became real. The dream that’s what he wants you to think, left you is a state of unconsciousness. He doesn’t see the typical light in your eyes anymore and the way you suddenly let him touch you like this…he wishes for you to not to, because it almost didn’t feel genuine. “Y/N…” His hand on your neck travels to your face, your cheeks hot to the touch.

You let him touch you, because you don’t want to think about if you didn’t. You want to know what it is like to be held in the arms of a man who would let the world burn for you. You wonder if this is all just an illusion. Was there really a bond between you two? What if he is just playing with you? None of these things that are happening can be real, right? What if this is just another dream? Like you had yesterday or maybe everything that is happening is just in your head. A vampire…you look into his eyes that flicker for just a second to the color of amber. You have to look away, shivering from just the memory.

“Let me ask you something…” The man before you listens closely, letting you move away from him simply because you stepped into the light. “Are you attracted to me just because of the bond?” This question has been swirling in your mind for quite some time. Maybe it’s stupid in some way, but you just can’t get over the fact that this is perhaps all happening by a string of feeling you can’t even see. You can’t lie that there aren’t any feelings from your side, but you have to wonder if he is feeling the same way.

His lips are parted, looking lost in thought. He is left speechless by such question. How could you think that? “Why do you think I’m only attracted to the bond?” His hand leaves the curtain, making darkness fall over you. “Y/N, the bond is only leading the way to you, it doesn’t have any influence on how I should feel about you.” He stalks closer to you again and you are left with no choice, but to press your back against the vanity.

You sigh out, feeling really stupid about even thinking such question. Your overthinking is eating you alive. Why can’t you just let yourself feel freely, you always think that things will turn for the worst. In this case of scenario — yes, though not at this very moment. Hyunjin is slipping under the gates of protection you build over your heart and you are at the moment not strong enough to do anything about it. He is so beautiful — long, dark hair, blue eyes laced with red that keep reminding you of what he truly is, lips bitten, skin like alabaster, peaking from the collar of his loose white shirt.

You don’t move away from him, letting him press you against the vanity with a hand on your waist. His body towers over yours, remembering how he already did this to you so many times and each one is more intense than the other. And different — this time it’s gentle, like the hand caressing your skin. His fingers hook under your jaw, thumb going over the side of your lips, making you part them. How can you be so foolish? He is looking at you like you hang the moon, touching you like you were a fragile piece of glass. Even if there were times where his hold was stronger, you could always taste the gentleness on your tongue.

Your hand, stabilizing your weight on the vanity, pushes the pack of cigarettes away. There are just way more tasteful things on your mind right now. Hyunjin breath fans across your lips, but he doesn’t move closer. You remember suddenly when he told that he doesn’t know if he can’t be selfish enough to have a taste, but you were. You already tasted him then why shouldn’t he? Like he could read your mind, his head tilts to the side to press his lips against the corner of your lips. You immediately gasp in shock, the touch so subtle and quick for you to fully take in, but your lips basically tingle at how close he was to you.

Your eyes are wide, staring into nothing in a complete shock. He pulls away from you too quickly, only to press his lips on your jaw next. “Why?” He asks, plump lips cold on your burning skin. “Why would you think that?” You don’t, right now you are way too busy to do so. His lips only trail over you, not pressing hard enough for his spit that is gathering in his mouth to coat you.

You breathe harder when he presses his lips lower, before they stop at where your jaw meets your neck. You feel your insides rumbling when he lets out a low hum that vibrates all the way to your ear. You didn’t even know that you are sensitive there. His nose hits your earring, the jewelry jiggling. He is waiting, just to see if he can go further and when you don’t do anything other than breathe a little harder his lips then press against the pulse in your neck. He has to inhale deeply, his hand on your waist tightening from your scent. He can feel the blood running through your veins. He is already so close to it, but he knows he can’t — not right now.

A fog falls over your mind, feeling him pull away just a little to finally kiss your neck. A sigh falls form your lips, heart hammering against your chest. No one ever other than him kissed you there and the unknown territory is somehow mind shattering. Hyunjin doesn’t stop after the first kiss, he only does it again and rougher, like he wanted to get under your skin. Your hand fists his shirt, unconsciously tilting your head to give him more room or maybe it was his hand tugging at your hair. The smacks of his lips ring in your ears, his lips mouthing at the sensitive spot behind your ear. Hyunjin is a little overwhelmed by the taste of your sweet and natural scent to realize you are starting to almost hyperventilate, but just as his lips wrap around you, sucking gently, you break into his thoughts with a loud gasp.

“I-I have never…” You shut your mouth immediately, eyes closing. You feel him pull away from you, but you are too embarrassed to look at him.

If you did, you would see a look of small knowing with a little shock. He doesn’t want to say that he knows, but the way you always react to his touch and most importantly the scent of your untouched skin and blood already told him the truth a long time ago. He doesn’t want you to think, it’s a bad thing. “It’s alright…I will not do anything you don’t want me to.” Hyunjin licks his lips, bitting down on his bottom lip till his skin breaks.

You sigh, eyes opening to look at his heaving chest. “It’s not like I don’t…want to—“ You look up at him slowly, embarrassment shining on your face. “I’m just scared I guess…”

“That you won’t like it?”

“That I will like it a little too much…”

When he gets a whiff of your arousal he almost doubles over. Yesterday — when he had you under him, it was a little different than now. Seeing you feel the same without his blood in your system — he really wonders how much more he can take further, before he decides to have you. He wonders if you know that he can smell you, maybe you are just ignoring that fact, maybe you are trying to see what he will do. And oh, how much he wants to do to you, but he has to remind himself that not now. Not when you are looking like this, he wants to have you when he is sure he will be the only thing on your mind.

The boldness in your words sometimes really does surprise you, but you can’t ignore the small tremble in your legs. You watch him take a step back and you are for a second thinking that it was because of your words, but looking closely you realize why. His head is tilted back a little and you can see his ear twitching, listening, your own too, but weak to hear anything other than your pulse. “Whats wrong?” You ask him, pushing away from the vanity a little.

Sighing, he shakes his head, giving you a small look. It’s intense however, like always and you can’t miss the flash of red in them. “The others are calling us, there are some things we should discuss.” The tone in his voice told you that it is an important matter and you are again reminded about your current situation.

────

The other residents of the house could see it. Not just your weaken state, but also those thoughts running through your head. Their faces were holding empathy for you and you somehow wish they didn’t. They only made you fear more for what is about to come and something is telling you that they knew something you don’t. You try to think about anything else at the moment, rolling your tongue in your mouth, the tangy taste of the wine still on your tastebuds. It was quiet, not too uncomfortable, but everyone waited for someone to say something. The tension was known and you for a split second flew away from it to dig in to your own thoughts.

Your eyes fall onto Hyunjin, sitting right next to you. He sat closely, chewing at his food and it look like that today it certainly didn’t come to his appeal. Your attention is on his lips and just at the sight your skin tingles. You appreciate his presence way more than you ever thought you would. Such a short amount of a time…yet you got so close. The idea of being his and him being yours, started to form into something real and it scared you so much. The plumpness wrapped around the glass filled with red wine was just moments ago on your skin. You still have to be careful about expressing your feelings, because for once you are afraid of them as much as you are afraid of how much more hightened he can feel them. With every subtle move, frown and pull at your lips, he could read you like a book.

Hyunjin looks up from the table at you, finding you already looking at him — well, more through him. He hates when you think so much. He realizes quickly that your eyes are fixed on a particular part of him and he can’t help it, but look at yours too. Stained red and pulled into your mouth from how much you are chewing on them. The sudden shift in his vision makes him glance at the blonde sitting across from him who only gives him a sort of a knowing look.

Jeongin doesn’t tease his brother, a little lost in thought as well, like the whole table to be honest. It’s hard not to eavesdrop with their heightened senses, but they do try to give you two privacy you deserve. However he can’t lie that he didn’t overhear your conversation when he passed by the corridor leading to Hyunjin’s bedroom. One thing that he has to say is that he never heard his brother speak so gently, yet with a desperate tone for a someone’s whole being. He wonders himself what it feels like, but he knows that it must hurt with all of these things happening around you. Even if they all didn’t have the time to get to know you better, because they wanted you to spend it with their brother, they could see how much honest and kind person you were. That makes this situation way more painful.

He watches how Hyunjin opens his mouth, breaking the God awful silence and finally starting the conversation that was meant to happen. “Do have any new information?” He wants to sound nonchalant, like the answer wouldn’t be the most important thing for him. He already knows the answer, because he has been the one that kept searching for one.

“No, no new trace of the attacker nor a response.” Said Chan, already done eating, playing with the empty glass in his hand. You are not so surprised by that information, because you just knew that if anything would happen Hyunjin would tell you. Or would he? You glance at him briefly, before going back to the man at the head of the table. “But we want you to know that the ball will be in two days.”

You are lost for words for a second, looking into his eyes in disbelief. So that’s the important thing that you had to know. You had to know that maybe in two days everyone, everything around you could disappear. “Two days?” You murmur, looking down at the food on your plate. Nausea is what you feel the most at the moment. The back of your throat is closing your airways, swallowing in complete fear.

Why didn’t he say anything sooner? You can’t say that you would be able to do anything about it, it’s just that you might have spend your time left a little differently. With him and completely differently you want to say. What if you didn’t pull away from him the moment he kissed your neck? What would happened if you didn’t stop him? Your fear of unknown is becoming so small compared to this one. You are afraid that you might not feel the things you wished for. Why are you such a crybaby? Are you? Or is it just a normal human reaction? There is still hope you want to say. Though the only thing you hoped for is that if you really would die, you hoped that he wouldn’t do anything stupid to prevent it. Do you care about him more than yourself right now?

Did he feel the same way about you? You glance back at him, already finding him looking at you. It’s so strange to think that somebody can feel like that about you. Can you ignore it any longer? The walls around you start to crack from the moment he found you yesterday. He was like a bright, shining light in the darkness…the darkness. You can’t remember what exactly happened the night before, it almost feels like it didn’t happen at all. It couldn’t be just a dream, it felt too real or maybe you were really just paranoid.

The man at the end of the table, the one with the sandy blonde hair and the one you already get to know a little, could tell by your eyes that you were hiding something. “Did something happen?” Minho asks you, curious and the whole table turns to look at you at that.

You feel their stares, but yours is only on his. You are a little puzzled, because with his eyes, he is telling you that he didn’t say anything about your dream. You shake your head, memories of yesterday so vivid, your head is starting to hurt from how much you are trying to remember. You only see the small flash of those eyes that you feel on your back everyday and every night. “I don’t know…I think, I saw someone.” Something, the sinister feeling is stronger with every flash of those eyes.

When you look up at the man who spoke up, you see them in his for a split second, mind already playing tricks on you. They vanish quickly, your fragment of imagination too weak, just like your muscles straining in your neck when you turn to look at the leader. “When?” He asks you, face hard and you can tell that he is taking this whole new information way too seriously. It was just a dream after all…

You lick your chapped lips, eyes going back and forth between all of them. “Yesterday—“ They straighten their backs and you instantly shake your head, looking back at the man next to you who moves just a little closer to you. “I was only sleepwalking, I think…it was just a nightmare—“ You are trying to sound like you are the one stating the truth, trying to let them see that it was nothing, but just a small dream. Yet the more you look into his ocean blue eyes, the more you sound like you trying to convince yourself.

The last word dies at the tip of your tongue, when his eyes turned darker blue. “Who did you see, Y/N?” Hyunjin’s voice is low, eyes glaring like he was looking at the said person — the creature that is haunting you.

You are quiet for a moment and you swallow hard at the thought that maybe, just maybe the things what you have seen are not to be taken lightly. Your mount is dry from the wine and also the thoughts running through your head. You can only remember the small strings of emotions the dream made you feel and those… “I didn’t see a face, only the eyes…” Your voice is quiet, the only sound in the room being your strained voice and the cracking of fire food for a moment. “It felt like it was luring me somewhere, it felt like my body wasn’t my own anymore. Firstly it showed me something terrible, but then I could only hear voices whispering to me. I couldn’t feel anything…I felt nothing. The only thing I can vaguely remember are those eyes — intense, the color of amber.” When the words left your lips the sight of said eyes seem to fade more and more in the fire.

There are small looks shared across the table, but your eyes travel to the long haired blonde, his usually soft looking face holding nothing, but a hard frown. “They say that eyes are windows to the soul.” He says, words coming from his heart-shaped lips slowly and with a meaning. “Do you think you would be able to recognize this person?”

“I don’t know, I don’t even think it was a person…” The thing you saw felt like a demon, evil staring right back at you. It didn’t have a face, there was only the mass of darkness creating an illusion of a figure. Your mind is your biggest enemy, but it did feel like it didn’t came from your own. You couldn’t make yourself feel such awful things, you mind wasn’t under your own control. Now you remember how much it hurt to be controlled, making you feel what they want you to feel and do what they want with you. “I felt terrible—“ You breathe out, face scrunching up. You only remember how you felt, but is becoming so overwhelming that you have to look away — back at him. Hyunjin’s is looking at you like yesterday and you can tell that’s what he is thinking about as well. “But then you found me…after that the dream started to fade away and now I can’t even remember exactly what I saw. I’m slowly starting to see less and less.”

“I remember what you looked like —“ Hyunjin says, taking a small breaths between, because he can perfectly remember how he find you. “You were drained of life, completely unconscious.”

“It was just a dream.” You try to object, but why are his words feeling like the truth. You remember how exhausted you were, laying there in his arms. You thought it was manly because of everything that is happening. However you realize how quickly your mood has changed, how much it was different from how you were behaving few days ago.

“Y/N.” At the sound of your name, you turn to the owner of the voice, to the dark haired man whose usual teasing and almost annoying personality has turned into nothing but concern. “Was it leading you somewhere?”

You blink at Seungmin’s question, not missing a beat with your answer. “Yes…the dungeons.” Your head tilts to Hyunjin, looking carefully at him. “But you were already there — why?”

You are met with no answer, not even a sliver of a difference in his expression. The voices around the room too loud to be considered whispers. “Why would it lead you there?” Minho wonders out loud.

You watch them talk over each other, too quickly to let you catch any words, but it was clear to you. “Are you…are you thinking that what i saw was real?” Your voice is quiet, but your question is strong enough to make them silent again.

“Not specifically.” Chan shakes his head. “Maybe someone is trying to get inside your head.”

Your mouth open, but nothing comes out when the man with puffy cheeks continues. “There are still few of them left, not a lot, but we do know where they are—“

“Witches want nothing to do with us anymore.” Says Felix. “Most are not even that powerful to corrupt someone’s mind like that.”

“If the person’s mind is in a vulnerable state…I think, they can.”

The statement is obviously meant for you and you have nothing to say to disagree with what the man in the middle said. Witches…you are still trying to get used to the existence of these creatures. You are confused by their idea, but they seem to know more than you. The only thing that is becoming clear to you is that maybe your mind really isn’t doing this to you — maybe, you are only being manipulated to feel like this. “You think a witch is doing this to me? For what?” No one knows your enemy, it literally could be anyone and that scares you.

“It is only an idea.” Hyunjin speaks your thoughts out, his hand on the table so close to yours, but you do not feel the subtle touch, only the lingering glare he gives you. “How else could someone do those things to you?” You have no answer…

“What if somebody is only hiding behind a witch?” Wonders Seungmin.

“Don’t be absurd—“ Disagrees the sandy blonde, a small frown on his face. “A witch wouldn’t side with a vampire and definitely not a werewolf.”

“We shouldn’t jump into things, we know so little. The only thing important is keeping you safe.” Chan’s words hit you a little too hard. You know that they have the best intentions, but you can’t stop thinking about the last sentence.

“It already had me twice and in my sleep.” Your smile doesn’t reach your eyes. You hope they see how much you appreciate their concern and help, but is there really any salvation for you? “There’s nothing for you to do…just promise me to keep my family safe, that’s all I care about.”

“Y/N…” Minho sighs out, the small specks of unshed tears in your eyes tug at his heart. “You are one of us and we won’t let anything happen to you—“

“Even if it means it would end you too?”

There’s no answer. You hate your emotions taking over you, but the thought of him — them sacrificing themselves for you. They promised they would keep you safe, but everyone knew that whatever is happening is too powerful for them to even catch a glimpse of. It only wants you and that’s also how it is supposed to be. You won’t let any of them do something stupid just to keep you safe — Hyunjin. If he would do something then the others would do and that’s what it wants. You can’t let it win…

Your words are harsh, you are aware, but it had to be said. You need to make them see that they shouldn’t get into danger just because of you. You known them for such short amount of time and even if they did grow on you and even if you grow on them too, there’s nothing that should make them sacrifice themselves. It would be mostly for him, for the man who is looking at you so intensely you feel the need to leave. He can’t let himself fall to his doom for a woman like you.

Your breathing becomes heavy, emotions on the highest level. Your throat is closing on you, choking you. You stand up abruptly, ignoring the stares on the back of your head when you storm out of the room. The sound of chair scraping against the ground and heavy footsteps are heard, but you don’t turn around. You are embarrassed by being so emotional, but the thought of them doing anything to prevent your possible future is horrifying. They can’t hazard with their position. With everything they build, their undead lives — if you would be able to convince him to let you go if necessary, you can prevent it. How much more do they truly feel when it is so obvious that every single one of them would stand before you?

You wish that they wouldn’t, it’s your problem, it’s you, not them, not even him. You don’t want to see him hurt, gone…He has to go on without you, he can’t die just because it would mean that you two might be together again. You can’t fight the emotion, the one you are most scared of letting out. The sound of your name echoing around you makes you pick up speed, tears gathering in your eyes from how much more desperate his tone gets, the more you grew distance between you two. He can catch up with you, but he chooses to follow you in hopes you would turn around yourself.

“Just a moment…” He hears you say over his loud voice, repeating those words again and again. He can’t let you go. He wants you to let him hold you in his arms, just a little longer. Forget about the future, he doesn’t want you to think, he wants you to stop and be with him for the rest of the time you have left. No, it’s supposed to forever.

He stops the door to his bedroom, before it can slam shut — the future is supposed to bright. You are supposed to happy, full of smiles, not like this. Not looking so defeated. There is still time, a little, but there is. He will fight for much more. The people that once took his, left him stuck in a state that he is in, are not supposed to be the ones deciding how yours will end. He hates them, every single of them…

He wraps his hand around your upper arm and even you are fighting against him, he doesn’t let go of you. It hurts a little, but not as much as looking into his sorrow filed eyes. “Please — I just need a moment to think.” You are shuttering over your words, tasting the few tears that you still have left in you. You are not even strong enough to cry, only gasping for air.

Hyunjin turns you fully around, each one his hand around you, caging you. Letting him, you quickly regret your reaction just by a look into his eyes. “No.” One word is strong enough to make you crumble, watching his eyes flickering red, only because his hold over his true form is fading away.

Why can’t you just accept it and let yourself enjoy him? But you know it would only hurt more, it would hurt more letting go. Of your friend Mia, everyone, you want to lock yourself away and just wait in hopes it would hurt less. You are such a pessimist, you always were. You always thought about how long it would take for the nice things in your life to disappear and were you wrong? The best one is right in front of you, holding you, maybe you are sabotaging yourself, but you need him to promise you one thing. That he won’t try to safe you… “I can’t do this anymore…I’m so scared and I’m so pathetic, I can’t do anything—“ You suck in breath, a small sob leaving you. Why can’t you be stronger? You need to be, but something is making you feel so weak…so far from your own hold over your body.

Your face is held in his hands, palms so cold, but burning. Hyunjin face is hard, he doesn’t want you to see him crumble too, he needs to be the strong. The sight of your tears is hurting him, he can feel your pain and suffering. “You can do anything, everything, I know it, Y/N—“

A small noise leaves the back of the throat at his sincere tone, but the thing that breaks you the most is when he pulls you to his chest and you don’t even know that he does it so you won’t see his face. Your head falls against his chest, the cries of pain dying the moment he wraps his arms around you. It’s so warm, you didn’t even realize before how much you needed him close to you like this. His thumb makes circles on your back, fingers just barely dipping into your corset. His chin falls on the top of your head, taking deep breaths with you, teaching you like you were a baby taking its first breath.

You let him hold your body and your heart for a moment. It felt too good to pull away, he made your mind quiet just by his touch. Your face is pressed against his chest. You can smell his cologne, the scent of his skin right under your nose, but you cannot hear a beating heart. Even if it can’t beat again, it’s not dead — not when he has you in his arms. He lets you move just a little to let you look up at him. “Promise me that you won’t try to stop it.” You plea, fingers scrunching up the material of his shirt. “Please, promise me that you won’t try to safe me if it happens—“

Your voice is not filled with sadness, only expectance now. You are not so afraid anymore all of sudden. Did a simple hug really helped you get over it? Can you finally let yourself be happy with him? The last tear in your eye rolls down your cheek slowly. It glimmer in the moonlight that peaked out of the closed curtains. Hyunjin looks over your features, puffy lips and eyes, your red nose and then at the last tear running down your face. His eyes, aware of those veins pumping underneath his eyelashes, follow the tear, before he leans closer to catch it with a kiss.

His kiss is harder, more meaningful than those you shared before. Hyunjin trails his lips over your face, leaving nothing, but adoration behind. You close eyes to savor this moment, counting each kiss — on your tear stained cheeks, eyelids, tickling you a little, furrowed eyebrows that fall down with his touch. “Hyunjin…” You call out to him, sighing when he moves lower, to your neck like the last time.

“Don’t, don’t think for a moment—“ It’s a plea, words bouncing off your skin. “I want you to only feel…” Goosebumps appear on your body from his whisper. Hyunjin trails wet kisses on your jaw to your neck and you for a second wonder if he is thinking the same thing.

You yourself can feel your pulse jumping, when his lips hover over it. You fall into his arms that only pull you closer, lips wrapping around your neck. You gasp sharply, grasping him by his hair, but you do not move him away from you. Both of you know the risk of him being so close to the source of your blood, but none of you stop. The way he breaths you in makes shivers go down your spine, shaking at how good it feels to have him like this. His lips are parted, sucking your skin in his mouth and the way you can feel his back muscles contract under your hand is telling you that he is using his whole might not to bite down a little harder. Hyunjin only lets his sharp teeth graze you and when a whimper falls out of your mouth he moves away.

Just a little, because he doesn’t want to let go of you that soon. The spot where his lips were on burn a little, feeling the pressure pulling at the delicate skin. You are wordless like him when he looks down at the purple spots forming on your neck. His eyes travel back to yours, now glassy from pleasure while his are wild and bloodied. You are not scared anymore and to be honest with yourself the thought of a creature like him taking over you didn’t sound to bad to you right now. “Drink from me again.” He rasps out, grasping your hand and putting it on his chest.

Gasps of air are shared when he with your hand tears the front of his shirt, too impatient to take his time to unbutton it. The tearing sound is loud, like the buttons hitting the floor, but that is not important. Your wide eyes eat up the sight of his revealed chest, hard in muscles and completely unblemished. Pure liquid fire pumps in your veins as he puts your palm on his chest. Hyunjin is breathing harder than ever by your touch, the subtle scrape of your nails on his skin creating red, long scratches that fade way quicker than he would like too, though it makes him groan, the sound making you tremble.

You don’t even ask if it’s alright with him to taste him again, because it feels like the only right thing to do at this moment. His hand covering yours, pushes away his shirt, falling from his left shoulder and you become bashful by the sight of him. His hand stops right over his nonbeating heart, before he pierces his skin with his nail. The red liquid flows down his chest, smearing over your hands and you are highly aware by how the sight of blood is making you feel something completely different from those other times.

His other hand runs through your hair, nails scraping your skull like yours his wound, opening it deeper. Your mouth falls open, looking at his vampire face and crazy eyes. Hyunjin pushes your head closer to him and you let him, pulling both of yours hands away from the fresh wound, only to be covered by your lips instead . You both are so vulnerable at the moment, the raw feeling from just your lips on each other’s skin is enough to make you mad.

Your tongue goes over the cut, hearing him moan and that makes you sigh out in pleasure as well. You run your muscle quickly over his skin, kissing hungrily like he did to your neck, before pushing into him. Hyunjin is overwhelmed by the feeling of your teeth in him, the sound of your soft sucking is enough to make him hard. It feels even better that it did yesterday and he thought that was impossible. Maybe it is the way you are not so shy about it anymore, maybe it is your quiet sounds of pleasure mixing with his — maybe it’s the intense and intoxicating smell of your arousal coming from between your legs.

Your head feels fuzzy, delirious. The taste of his blood is so addictive and it feels so good going down your throats throat. Your mind is empty again, the only thing left is him. How his fingers tug at your hair, how he sounds — so pretty and raw. You just have to look at him, catching his droopy eyes. His lips are glistening in the soft light of the room, hand traveling to yours to press it against his hard abdomen. “Don’t stop.” It comes out as rasp and you at his words pierce his skin just a little harder.

You close your eyes, mind swirling. From the taste of his blood and skin to the feeling of his muscles ripping under your hands — it’s so euphoric. You lose yourself and he does too, watching you take him so well. You look so beautiful right now, groaning in delight. You are so close to him, yet he wants just a little more. Hyunjin pushes his leg that is perfectly trapped in between your thighs just a little higher. He swears he can feel you dripping, soaking him just with the small graze of his thigh against your center. You are not even realizing your movements, unconsciously rolling your hips down on his leg to relief yourself. Hyunjin hisses at your move, grabbing handful of your hair to pull you away from his chest.

The moment your head rolls back by his move you stop moving, gasping in small embarrassment, but he is too gone. Your lips are stained with his blood, smeared over your chin and some of it rolling down your neck. He sees you trying to make an apology, but why would you apologize for such thing. He doesn’t let you, because with his hand in your hair and the other on your waist he backs you into the bed. Your eyes are wide, legs too weak to object and move away. You are now just a puppet.

The vampire’s eyes shine in the darkness, like a predator. When he swiftly turns you around so he is the one falling into the bed, he lets you take a breath. Your hands find his shoulders and even if you are a little dizzy there’s the small face of bashfulness on your face. You say his name in gasp, standing between his legs. “Let me make you feel good, Y/N.” Your lips are wide apart and something is telling you that he probably already made up the answer for you.

His hands push up the skirt of your dress to your hips and he has to moan at your smell and the sight of your plush legs. Hyunjin lets you make a decision and when there is no hint of discomfort on your face, he just pushes you down to straddle his thigh. Small whimper falls from you the moment you are on his leg, hands digging into his shoulders. Your eyes close and open, legs just a little supporting your weight and he definitely doesn’t like that. “Sit down—“ It’s a command and you don’t object, looking over his face.

The air around you is thick and hot. You watch each other for a second, enjoying the position way more than you both would like to admit. The first roll of your hips is made by him. With a hand on your waist he pushes you back and forth slowly, letting you feel the pleasure by the touch of another. You think that you have never felt like this before, the thin material of your underwear is soaked through and you just know he can feel you over the material of his pants. You try to hide yourself, your faces of pleasure, but the hand under your chin prevents you from doing so. “Hyunjin—“ You moan, just as his thumb comes to your lips.

Your clit rubs deliciously over the muscles in his leg and the sound of his name rolling out of your tongue makes him growl. You watch each other and even if you are not doing anything to him, it almost looks like he is enjoying this even more than you do. Hyunjin already lost the battle against his mask, letting you see his demon face in the darkness of the night. His hand finds his chest, stopping right over his nipple to only pierce his skin again and now you don’t need a hand to help you lean closer.

He helps you move over him, now him being the one gasping when you immediately go and wrap your lips over his nipple. You are going harder, not just with your movements, but also with your sucks. The pleasure is so intense, him falling down a little just to give you more room to feel him. Both of your hands run hungrily over your bodies. Yours run over his chest, trying to remember every dip and muscles, while his run underneath your skirt to grasp your thighs. Your skin spills over his long fingers, rings digging into you, both the pain only make it more pleasurable for you.

It’s embarrassing how quickly you feel the heat in your lower tummy. You are so sensitive right now. Not even catching yourself bitting down at his nipple, rolling the bud in your mouth. Saliva mixed with blood rolls down his chest, right down the soft, short hairs on his stomach. You catch the small drips with your fingers and you are at that pulled away from him again. Only now you are the one being swallowed up. His mouth his hot, tongue licking over the now dried blood on your neck.

It’s too much for you to keep up with, but you don’t find yourself stopping. His hand so close to your center, fingertips just barely dipping into your juices that coat your inner thighs, is making you breathe louder. Hyunjin is sharply gasping, kissing down your throat, stopping at the middle of your breasts. The rolls of your hips are so addicting, just like your scent tickling his nose. He has to get a better look at your breasts pushing against your corset, but just the sight of your skin spilling over your cleavage, makes him lean over again and catch your jiggling skin into his mouth.

“Yes—“ He moans, hearing you whimper from his mouth on you. The hand under your skirt travels to grasp handful of your ass, pushing you harder against his leg, while the other squeeze your breast that is not covered by his mouth. He is not even kissing you anymore, just drooling and sucking and when he starts to bounce you up a little on his leg, you almost lost it. “Are you close?” Hyunjin murmurs into your skin. “I can feel you soaking me — don’t stop, Y/N…” You cry out, head rolling back by the pleasure. He pulls away yet again to watch you in your full glory, wrapping his hand around your throat to make look back into his eyes. “Don’t stop — don’t stop.” He is the one pleading, moaning with you when he hears your heart jumping in your chest. He can also feel your blood boiling under his hand and when he squeezes just a little your hips still, falling apart on his thigh.

Your moan is loud, tears of pleasure gathering in your eyes. Your legs are shaking, wrapping them around his and squeezing tightly when the first wave of pleasure crushes over you. Your eyes roll into the back of your head, fingers digging into his chest as you see completely white for a split second. Hyunjin eyes are wide, trying to take everything that you give him. His nose flares at your scent, letting you fall into his awaiting chest, helping you ride out every bits of pleasure left. He breaths heavily, taking in the sweet smell of your sweat, nose burying into your hair. “More please—“ He hears you mumble and he can’t help, but laugh shortly, but when you start to move higher on his lap, he has to stop you.

“You are drunk on my blood, love, can’t give you more—“ He wants to — so badly, but he feels like he would only take advantage of you if he does. Even if you did give him your permission, he can’t have you in a state like this. He watches you pull away from his body to look up at him and at the next words and expression, he almost really loses it.

“Bite me.”

His breathing stops at your words, shaking his head by the bold move as you pull your hair away from your neck. Your eyes glazed over, reminding him that what you are feeling right now is purely coming from his blood. He has you in a tight grip, though he still feels the subtle move of your hips, trying to get closer to him. He can’t help, but look at your neck, still glistening from his spit. It looks delicious, he can’t lie about that. The thought of drinking from you crosses his mind. With his eyes, he can see your pulse hammering against the delicate skin of your neck that is already marked by his love bites. For a split second he almost leans closer to your bare neck, but the way sway in his arms, makes him pull away from his racing thoughts. “It’s my blood, it’s an aphrodisiac.” He explains, however it falls to deaf ears.

“Huh?” You frown a little when he maneuvers you to lay down on the bed and as your back meets the soft covers you have to sigh in delight.

You are trying so hard to keep your eyes open, blinking rapidly. He runs his hand over the side of your face, before pushing the hairs on your forehead away. Your skin is hot to touch and his attention moves again to those blossoming red spots on your skin. He thinks he has taken it a little too far, but the small spots look so good on you that he can’t be mad at himself. You looked happy, in a sense that you finally look peaceful enough to let him see that you won’t overthink for while again. “Rest, my love.” He hovers over your body, before planting a small kiss to your forehead. “We still have time.”

Those words are pleasure to your ears, a small subtle smile on your lips by the soft kiss he gives you. You let yourself and Hyunjin rest a little, his body falling next to you, hand clasping yours. You once again have nothing, but him on your mind and you soon realize that’s the only time when you feel at peace.

──────────────────────

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[lwwife]

Heyyyy please please please could you write a Leah Williamson fic where the reader plays with her for Arsenal and the reader keeps getting taken down during the match. It gets to a certain point and Leah starts getting angry against the person that keeps taking you down. I feel like the reader and Leah aren’t officially together but have always liked each other and dating maybe?? Thank you!!!

My bodyguard

Fluff, Injury, angst (not between reader and Leah)

Word count: 2,200

-

“How are you feeling about today?” Leah asks you, placing a comforting hand on your knee while you both sit in the changing rooms.

“A little anxious but I’ll be fine” You smile back at her. Today you play your old team, Man United. You’re still on good terms with most of the girls, however your ex-girlfriend, not so much. You haven’t played against her since you left last season, being sick for one of the games, and injured the other. Things already didn’t end well between you and Gabby, but when Ella accidentally let slip that you went on a second date with Leah, shit was she fuming. You received a few heated messages, to which you did not respond. So, today’s game, with you being a striker, and her being a defender, you knew you would have to be in her perimeter, and that scared you a little. You knew how good she was, but you also knew that she’d try to rile you up.

“You’ve got this” Leah whispered, inching forward to place a kiss on your cheek but moving back when she realised what she was doing, not knowing if it was okay or not. You two had always had a thing for each other. It’s been clear to everyone since your first England camp 3 years ago. Both were too nervous to make a move, especially since she had just come out of a relationship with Jordan. So, when Gabby asked you out, you said yes. The teasing and joking came to a stop once you and Gabby got together officially, but when you two broke things off and you transferred to Arsenal, it was back on in a flash. The second you saw her in the change room at London Colney you knew you had made the right decision. It wasn’t until 3 months later that Leah finally asked you out, very shyly. Your first date was electric, and everything felt right, the timing was finally right for both of you. A day later Leah asked you out for a second date, to which of course you said yes. Neither of you had embraced in anything more than gentle touches, and small moments of handholding, not wanting to mess up after waiting so long for the opportunity.

-

Stood in the tunnel at Meadow Park, you catch the sight of the jersey a couple of people in front of you on the line to your left “George” written across the back, you huffed, and she turned around making eye contact. You rolled your eyes and turned your head to face the front, where you caught sight of the jersey at the front of your line, “Williamson”, the long name curving and covering Leah’s entire shoulders. You smiled to yourself. She stood there, back up straight, armband on her left arm. She will play this game as captain since Kim is out with an injury. She turned back and looked at you, feeling your eyes staring. She had her game face on, and you were instantly turned on at the sight. You pulled a stern face at her “So serious” you mouthed. She rolled her eyes, but you caught her smile just as she turned back to the front.

-

The game started okay, Arsenal dominated the match, however, most of it was played in the midfield, and you were yet to touch the ball. In the 15th minute, Arsenal finally made a break, Lia had passed the ball through to Beth who then crossed the ball into the box, you jumped slightly trying to get something on your head when rather you felt a pair of feet swipe at yours subtly, hitting just enough to mess your landing and fall straight onto your front. You grunt hard trying to get up. Once you get to your feet you shake it off and turn your head to find Gabby smirking. You take a deep breath and continue on.

Gabby continued to make subtle digs at you through the first half. Harder hits when you were outside the box. You continued to get up, taking deep breaths, shaking it off each time. By the 43rd minute, she made a bold slide at least a good 3 seconds after the ball had left your feet, causing her to get fouled finally and you awarded a free kick. This time however you struggled to get up, having fallen weirdly on your previously injured ankle. You turned to lay on your back and propped yourself up, bottom still on the floor you rolled your ankle around, wincing slightly. That’s when you heard Leah a meter away from you. “What the fuck are you doing?!” She spoke quietly but still loud enough for you to hear. You turned to find her close to Gabby hands outstretched, but subtly, as if trying not to get noticed by the ref.

“What do you care? Protecting your girlfriend?” Gabby responded, scoffing.

“Just fucking chill out with it. You’ve been targeting her all game”, Leah walked away and jogged to your side. “You okay baby?” Your eyes widened at the nickname and your stomach filled with butterflies. Leah’s face remained concerned; brows furrowed. You stretched your ankle a bit one last time and moved your hand up to run your thumb over the line in between Leah’s brows.

“I’m okay” you smiled. “Your eyebrows will fall off if you keep scrunching them so much”, Leah giggled, the lines around her eyes creasing and you instantly smiled. “Now help me up”.  

Arsenal ended up scoring from the free kick, Katie banging it into the box, and Viv tapping her foot on it.

-

The half ended and you all walked back to the changing rooms. On the way back you felt a hard nudge in your back, it was Gabby, almost walking through you. “Really?!” you shouted at her; she continued walking, blatantly ignoring you. You sat in the changing room, listening to Jonas and the assistant coach setting up the game plan for the second half, your ankle still slightly sore. Leah noticed you wincing slightly and rolling your ankle around.

She turned to you, “Are you sure it’s okay?” she questioned, gesturing to your ankle.

“Yeah, yeah it’s fine, just a bit strained”, you replied, giving her a sad smile. She grabbed your hand.

“Come on, let the physio tape it up for you.”

-

The team returned to the second half feeling energised and motivated. Eager to keep a clean sheet and score another goal or two. The first ten minutes ran well until Gabby decided to start her hard hits up again. She would nudge you hard, or step on your feet in a corner, hard slides still coming in. Leah ran to your side each time checking you’re okay not before giving Gabby the coldest look you’ve seen. It wasn’t until the 83rd minute when Gabby had pushed you hard during a corner, that you hit your head on the post while falling. You smashed to the ground, unable to open your eyes, the light making your headache. Your forehead started to pound, and you felt yourself start to drift. It wasn’t until at least a minute later your eyes started to flutter open, the medic calling for you “Y/n we need you to stay awake. Y/n open your eyes, come on, slowly that’s it, good job”, You saw two of him, sometimes turning to three. You tried to look around, but everything was blurry. You could hear yelling and the crowd oohing and gasping. You turned your head to the right, not lifting it, where you found Leah and Gabby going at it. Teammates attempting to pull them apart.

“Don’t ever fucking come near her again!” Leah shouted, finger in Gabby’s face.

“Or what, what’re you going to do about it huh?” She edged Leah on, moving closer.

“Stay the fuck away from her,” Leah warns.

“I’m not going anywhere Leah, how about you stay the fuck away from her” she growls back, again moving closer.

“She wants me around, that’s the difference between you and I” Leah’s finger points into Gabby’s chest. “You think doing this shit will make her want you back? She deserves so much better than you.” Leah growls. Gabby loses it, shoving Leah forward. Leah instantly shoves her back. They both continued on until they were finally able to be pulled apart. “If you ever lay a hand on her again, I will fucking destroy you” Leah yells to her. Gabby gets shown a red for the push on you and on Leah. She walks off slowly, and Leah shoves her off the pitch to hurry her up. She happily takes the yellow and runs to your side.

“Darling” Leah whispers, running a hand softly through your hair.

“Ow,” you whisper.

“Shit! I’m so sorry baby” Your stomach flutters again, almost taking all the pain away. She grabs your hands instead, squeezing them nervously.

“She’s going to need to go to the hospital, they need to run checks that we can’t do here,” the medic informs her.

“Fuck okay, she’ll be okay though right?”

“Yes, she should be, it’s a pretty hard concussion, but we need to check for permanent damage.”

“Y/n” Leah whispers, “They’re going to take you to the hospital, okay? I’m going to meet you there. I’ll follow you” She turns to the medic.

“No” you try to tell her, but your voice is almost inaudible. “You don’t have to” you rasp.

“No, but I want to, I’ll be right there, okay? It’ll be okay baby.” She kisses your hand and squeezes one more time before getting up.

-

Your eyes slowly flutter open, and you’re met with the white-roofed hospital. Lights shining bright.

“Y/n! You’re awake!” Leah grabs your hand and presses a button next to you.

“Leah?” you rasp out confused.

“Yeah, I’m right here darling, are you okay?” Suddenly a nurse appears at your side, asking you how you feel whilst checking your blood pressure and heart rate.

“What happened” you ask, slightly confused. Leah explained the situation to you, Gabby’s push into the post. “Fucking hell” you mutter. “What are you doing here?” you question her.

“I wanted to be with you, I needed to make sure you’re okay.” She rubbed your hand and you smiled at her, your heart rushing.

“I’m okay” you whisper back, smiling lovingly, and squeezing her hand.

-

“Alright Y/n I’m going to discharge you but you’re going to have to have someone stay with you for the next 24 hours. Do you have a family member you can call?” The doctor asks you, clipboard in hand.

“I’ll do it” Leah jumps.

“No Leah, you’ve already done enough stop it”.

“No Y/n you stop it. I want to. I’m happy to do it, darling. Is there anything I need to know?” She asks the doctor. He runs Leah through some instructions, and you stare at her, she’s listening intently, nodding along, focus plastered on her face. Your heart swells at the sight and your mind begins to think all kinds of loving thoughts.

-

A few hours later you’re laying on the couch scrolling through your phone when a video of Leah and Gabby from the match appears on your screen. Leah enters the living room. “Y/n what are you doing? The doctor said no screentime!” She goes to snatch your phone, but you pull back.

“What’s this?” you question her, turning your phone to face her. She glances and the screen and her eyes widen. She snatches the phone off you, locking it and throwing it on the other end of the couch.

“Nothing. You shouldn’t be on your phone” she tells you off and turns to go to the kitchen.

“Not so fast missy” You stop her. “Come here” Leah turns to you, looking at you questioningly. “Here. Now.” you pat next to you. She walks over slowly, head down. “What did I just watch?” You asked her.

“Nothing, we were just chatting about the game” Leah keeps her head down.

“Nothing huh?” Leah nods her head quickly. “Leah, you know I could hear the audio, right?” She groans and puts her head in her hands. “Hey, don’t go shy on me now” you tease her. “You know you’re quite hot when you’re mad” you whisper. Placing a hand on her thigh. She turns to you, and her mouth opens slightly. She inches forward, slowly. You inch forward too, meeting her halfway. You both stop just before your lips touch and look each other in the eye. You nod and the next thing you know Leah’s lips are on yours. The pair of you grab at each other instantly. You deepen the kiss, and it feels perfect. It’s passionate, but gentle. You could call it loving. Your lips mould together as if they were made for each other and everything seems in place, the two of you are finally here, together. After a while, you pull back to breathe. You smile against her lips, “My bodyguard” you whisper.

“Shut up” and like that she dives in to kiss you again.

-

@y/ny/ln’s story

-

A/n: I feel like this wasn’t my best work but I tried, I do apologise for that, I hope you enjoyed anyway. Respectful feedback is always welcome in my comments, messages, or asks :)

[evanpeterswhoresblog]

Cherry Bomb (pt. 3)

Remus Lupin x f!reader, James Potter x f!reader (mentioned), Sirius Black x f!reader (mentioned)

warnings: smut, p in v, i think it’s protected atp idk, fingering, underage smoking, very dom remus, long af but omg i’m so in love with it

summary: the last part of your plan is far harder to achieve than the first two and it’s far more complicated.

word count: 5k

a/n: ahhh here’s the last part (i think?) anyway sorry it’s long i got carried away but ugh i love remus so much. sorry if my characterization is off, ever since atyd i see him as sarcastic. yeah i love this, hope you guys do too :)

~~~

Out of all the marauders, Remus Lupin was by far the most liked. He was quiet, but not invisible. He was the most sensible out of all the boys and the most polite. Though he did tend to be witty and sarcastic, he was kind at heart. But he was also the hardest one to get close to. Quiet, reserved, beautiful Remus with his nose always stuck in a book. There was always something about him that made girls fall fast. But that was the thing. It was always so easy to fall in love with him. So, if one ever wanted to shag Remus Lupin, they would have to deal with the consequences of loving him. Because he was nothing like his mates. He didn’t shag just anyone. No. He had to choose you. And to be chosen by him was the biggest accomplishment and the biggest curse. Because once you get him, you will never want to let him go.

~~~

Avoiding two of the marauders is nearly impossible. Each corner you turn it seems you run into one of them, or both. And each time their eyes find you they show the same expressions. Confusion. Frustration. Perhaps even a bit of sadness. You debate throwing away the entire plan daily. It’s unfair, the way you’re playing with their minds. But the lingering knowledge that you’re so close to completing the plan entirely keeps you going. Because surely, all your hurt feelings can’t be for nothing.

Right?

You speak to James only once after your shag in the broom closet. It’s a week or two after, he’s been chasing you around, and you’ve been avoiding him. But you decide he deserves some amount of closure. Sweet, lovely, innocent James. You find him alone in the library and take your opportunity. The way he smiles when he sees you approaching makes your heart ache terribly and regret fills your stomach.

“Y/n I’ve been trying to catch you, how are you?” He asks once you’re close enough to hear his quiet tone.

He looks so happy, you feel sick.

“Yeah, I just you know… haven’t been feeling too great,” you lie.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Sit if you’d like, I’ve been attempting to study for the potions test. Aren’t you good with potions? Could you help me possibly?”

You inhale deeply. You could really use a cigarette right now. You’ve broken things off with guys before, but this feels different. In the other cases, you’ve had reasons. For this case though, you have none. James is innocent in all of this. It makes you nauseous.

“Listen, James,” you start, your voice soft. “What happened was great, I enjoyed it a lot, but it was a mistake. I like you, you’re very sweet, but I don’t think we should do anything else.”

Watching his face fall is by far the most horrid sight you’ve ever seen. All the happiness fades fast and leaves behind a bitter frown. He looks down at his papers, toying with his quill.

“I see…” He looks back up, a fake smile on his lips. “That’s alright, it was fun. I’m not really looking for anything serious like that either, so I understand.”

You swallow hard. “I really do like you James, believe me, but it’s just not the right time for this.”

“Don’t worry about it, it’s fine.”

“And...” You pause for a second. “You won’t tell anyone?”

He nods. “Not a soul. This will be our little secret.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course.”

“Well then, I’ll let you get back to your potions. Thanks for... everything.” You give him one last smile before turning on your heels and making your way out of the library.

You almost put an end to it right then and there, but then you see the tallest marauder walking down the hall with Peter. His hands are in his pockets, his book bag slung over one of his shoulders. For a split second his eyes meet yours as the two of you pass each other.

He gives you a small awkward smile.

Fuck.

~~~

To catch Remus Lupin alone you must take the risk of losing your house some points. You wait a week before making your move, for safety. After your conversation with James, the only marauder to pay attention to you is Sirius. He’s still set on telling everyone that the two of you shagged, but thankfully, not many people believe him. Not even his best mates.

It’s a very quiet night when you sneak out after curfew. A night you know one particular prefect is doing rounds on his own. You wander through the castle quietly, making sure to avoid the areas in which teachers lurk. Goosebumps form on your skin, you should’ve worn more than a tee-shirt and sweatpants, but you needed to look casual.

As you’re about to turn a corner, you spot Filch. Panic surfaces inside you and you quickly turn around and run as quietly as you can down the hall. You take a few turns and just as you’re about to relax, you hear a voice.

“It’s past curfew, what are you doing out here?”

Your heart stops for a completely different reason.

It’s him.

You turn to face him and shyly smile. You watch his face change as he recognizes you.

“Oh, it’s you.” He narrows his eyes. “Off to shag my mate again, are you?”

“I never shagged him,” you reply, crossing your arms over your chest. “And I’m out for a completely different reason.”

“What reason is that?”

You shrug. “Personal reason.”

“Ah well, hope it was worth losing your dear Ravenclaws ten points. Get back to your dorm before someone else catches you,” he says, turning away from you.

You watch as he walks down the hall, not giving you another thought. You would’ve replied sarcastically if you could speak for that matter. Once he disappears, all you can do is shamefully make your way back to your house's common room, now understanding why James likes being a chaser.

~~~

Some time passes before you get Remus alone. Each time you see him during the day, he’s accompanied by one of the marauders and you can’t sneak out during his rounds again because your fellow Ravenclaws were not pleased. You’re smoking behind the castle when you happen to finally catch him walking alone. You immediately take your chance.

“Lupin!” You call out to him. You get up from the bench you were sitting on and walk to him.

Thankfully, he stops walking and turns back to face you. “Y/l/n. Is there something I can help you with?”

You can tell from the tone of his voice he’s trying to be polite; it makes your insides warm.

“Yeah, actually there is. I was wondering if you could help me with my transfiguration essay. You’re the smartest lad in the year,” you answer, taking a small puff of your cigarette. You hold it up to offer him a hit, he shakes his head.

“Those things will kill you,” he says. “But I suppose I can help a bit. I assume you’re free right now?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Let me take a look.”

A smirk forms on your lips, and you let out a breath of smoke purposely into his face. “Take a girl to dinner first.”

He swats the air, fanning away the smoke. “Are you going to show me or not? I have things to take care of.”

“Sorry.” You hate the way your face burns. “Come see.”

The two of you make your way to the bench and you take out your essay. Truthfully, you are already finished with it, and you think your work is good. But much to your dismay, only a few seconds after he starts reading it, Remus takes out a muggle pen and begins crossing things off.

“What’s wrong?”

“Your spelling is shit, and you’ve contradicted your argument at least twice already and I’m only on the second paragraph,” he answers, his eyes glued to the paper. “Maybe if you spent more time studying than shagging and smoking, you’d have this information down. We reviewed it a few weeks ago.”

You scoff. “I have not been shagging.”

“Sure,” he mumbles, crossing off another sentence.

“I swear, Sirius is mistaken.” You lie.

He turns his head, his green eyes meeting yours. “Who said I was referring to Sirius?”

Your breath catches in your throat, and you cough due to the smoke. Is he talking about James? Your heart rate increases, and anxiety flows throughout your body. Did James tell? You catch your breath, your eyes meeting his again. He looks unamused.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I haven’t shagged anyone in months, not that it’s your business,” you say.

“You should really practice more on your lying; you are shit at it.” He hands your essay back to you and stands. “I left a few notes of some things you should change, but my biggest suggestion is that you reread the textbook, and perhaps find some more... enticing quotes. Is that all then? Like I said, I’ve got some other business to tend to.”

For a few seconds, all you can do is stare up at him, your mouth hung open ever so slightly. You previously thought Remus Lupin to be a timid boy who went along with the rest of the marauders because he couldn’t say no. Now though, you realize all those assumptions are wrong. He’s quiet, but not timid.

“What do you know?” You question.

“Quite a lot, thanks for the chat.”

Before you can even think of a response, he’s already walking away. You can’t let him slip away again.

“I’ll get it out of you Remus Lupin if it’s the last thing I do!”

He turns his head over his shoulder and chuckles, the sound sending warmth straight to your core. “We’ll see.”

And just like that, he’s gone, and you’re left flustered with rosy cheeks.

You did save the best for last.

~~~

Falling for the third marauder is easier than anything. Almost unconsciously, you begin to fail classes so that he can help you with work, you learn his route around the castle to see him at least once a day, and you sneak around the castle some nights, but he always ends up finding you somehow.

One night, a little over a month after you’ve started your game, something unexpected happens. You’re out after curfew once again, tiptoeing around the castle to see where the tallest prefect is when he appears from behind you. Like usual, he crosses his arms and clears his throat, making you quickly spin on your heels to face him. How does he always sneak up on you?

“How many times am I going to catch you before you start following the rules? I’m sure your fellow Ravenclaws aren’t too pleased with you,” he says. You look up at him, a genuine blush on your face. He narrows his eyes. “You want me to catch you, don’t you?”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

You look away nervously. The plan never involved gaining real feelings for any of the marauders, yet here you were. Standing in your sleepwear after curfew with your heart racing in your chest at the mere sight of one of them. Though you try to deny it, you know deep down you’re crushing hard, and you know it will only end badly.

“I uh... I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m just on a little stroll back from a smoke that’s all,” you reply after a few seconds, your hands anxiously fiddling with one another.

He rolls his eyes. “Listen, I don’t know what your objective is or has been, but whatever it is it’s not going to happen.”

“Remus I-”

“Sirius, I understand, he would sleep with the giant squid if it had tits. But James, really? He may be more of an... active person than myself but he has far more feelings than you think.” He takes a step forward; he towers over you. You swear you can’t breathe. “You may have fooled them, but you don’t fool me. I can see right through you y/l/n and you’re sick.”

You move backward; he follows each step. “You... you don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t I?”

Your back hits a wall, panic rises in you. Your eyes fall to his hands, and a bit of relief washes over you when you see he’s not holding his wand. But then another thought takes over. Is he going to hit you? When you look back up, he’s only inches away from you, his hazel eyes piercing down into yours. He places one of his hands on the wall next to your head. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears.

“I didn’t mean to cause any trouble, really. I’m sorry,” you mumble, your words genuine.

“So, what was your goal then? To shag all of us and take your pick of who’s best? Peter would’ve been far easier than James you know,” he replies.

“It was just a stupid idea, I don’t know. It didn’t mean anything deeper I swear.” You’re rambling now, the threat of tears evident in the burning of your eyes. You try your hardest to keep any from falling, you can’t cry in front of Remus.

He sighs. “You’re lucky Sirius is oblivious, and James is trusting. If they knew the truth, you’d have the whole school against you.”

“Wait, they don’t know?”

He rolls his eyes again. “Of course not. If they knew you’d be getting hexed almost all day every day.”

“Then how do you know?”

“I notice a lot more than people think. Did you honestly think no one saw you go up to our dorm with Sirius that night at the party? And did you honestly think none of us would notice James’s change in attitude? You think you know more than you actually do,” he explains.

For a few seconds, the two of you only stare at each other. You don’t know what to think. You should’ve known this would happen. Someone was going to catch on. You wish you had never done it. Any of it. Everything would be so much simpler if you’d simply stayed the quiet Ravenclaw girl who never interacted with the marauders. But you can’t go back, no matter how much you wish you could. You can only make it right moving forward.

“I’m sorry, truly Remus.” There’s so much more you want to say, but you can’t. You can’t fathom the words.

“If you’re truly sorry, stop. I won’t be the next pawn in your game,” he says, his voice slightly lower than before. You watch the way his eyes shift, the way he licks his lips, and moves his head down so he’s almost eye level with you. Your breath catches in your throat. “I suppose I pity you though because you and I both know this has become more than a game to you now.”

You turn your head, but he grabs your chin and forces you to look him in the eye.

“You fancy me.”

“I-”

“Don’t try to deny it. Like I said, I can see right through you.”

“It doesn’t matter. It’s over now,” you whisper, a tear nearly escaping one of your eyes.

He inhales deeply and you notice his eyes trail over your body for a moment before meeting your gaze again. “You’re right. It is over now.”

He lets go of you and backs away and for the first time since encountering him tonight, you feel like you can breathe normally. You stay on the wall, silently catching your breath as he walks further down the hall. But just before he’s about to turn a corner, he looks back at you.

“Or perhaps it’s simply my turn to play with you. Oh, and that’s twenty points from Ravenclaw. Goodnight.”

You fall asleep with his words burning in the back of your mind, and an ache between your thighs.

~~~

After that night, everything is different. You try to avoid them all and go back to the way things were before, you really do. You scribble out the page in your journal with their names, you keep your head down in the halls, and you skip the parties they host. It’s Remus who’s begun playing. Somehow, he continues knowing where you are and appears at random times. Whether you’re studying in the library, and he just so happens to need a book from that section, or you’re out by the lake with your friends and he walks by. You know it’s intentional, but it still manages to leave you hot and bothered each time.

“I thought you said the plan was off?” Your friend says one particular day when the two of you are eating lunch.

You look at her, confused. “It is.”

“Then why has Lupin been staring at you this whole meal?”

Instinctively, you look across the Great Hall and immediately catch those all-too-familiar hazel eyes. He doesn’t look away, at least, not for a moment. He stares at you with no shame, and even from the distance you can sense something different from the look in his eyes. Before you can fully figure it out though, he turns his attention back to the other three marauders.

“Did you shag him?” Your friend asks.

“No, I told you what happened,” you answer, focusing your attention back on the food on your plate. “I wish he’d stop.”

Your friend laughs. “Nah, you don’t.”

You hate how she’s right.

~~~

Nearly two months have passed when you finally confront Remus.

You’re sitting in the astronomy tower, a cigarette between your lips, and a scowl on your face. You can’t take it any longer. Wasn’t he the one who told you off? Wasn’t he the one who told you to stop the games? He was. You know it. So, why has he kept it going? He had said that it was his turn, but that was many weeks ago. How long did he plan to keep this going? You let out a cloud of smoke, frustration taking over your body at the thoughts.

“How many points shall I take off tonight? Forty? Fifty?” You feel him sit next to you, but you refuse to look at him. “You haven’t been out after dark in a while though, I’ll give you that.”

“What do you want Lupin?” You ask, annoyed.

He chuckles. “What do any of us want really?”

You look at him with a straight face, hating the way butterflies take over your stomach at the sight of him so close to you. Despite the scars on his face, you find him more beautiful than any boy. More than James, even more than Sirius. There is something so extraordinary about Remus you can’t explain. You wish it would go away.

“Why can’t you leave me alone?” You question after taking another drag from the cigarette.

“I haven’t spoken to you in over a month, I don’t know what-”

“Yes, you know what I mean.” You cut him off. You exhale your last breath of smoke and throw the cigarette off the tower. “I’m trying to leave this all in the past and move on like you said but you’ve made it quite difficult.”

“Seems you don’t like the taste of your medicine love. It’s hard, isn’t it? Trying to avoid someone when they always seem to end up exactly where you are. It gets rather annoying, doesn’t it? Especially when you secretly enjoy it,” he replies.

Your eyes meet again and that familiar trouble to breathe begins. He’s looking at you in a way you don’t know how to feel about. It’s not like Sirius’s drunken stare or James’s needy stare. No. This one, though the same lustful, is far deeper.

“Just tell me what you want Remus,” you eventually say, your voice lower than before. “What do you want?”

“I want you to get out of my head. I want to look at you and feel nothing. I want everything to go back to how it was before you decided to fuck with my friends and me,” he answers.

You swear your heart stops for a few beats. “Then let all of that happen.”

“You think I haven’t tried?”

You stay silent.

“I never wanted this, any of it.”

You look down. “I know.”

“Don’t do that.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Merlin, I give up, you win y/n. You bloody win.”

You’re about to ask what he exactly means, but he acts faster. In the blink of an eye, his lips are on yours. You can’t grasp it at first. You’re kissing Remus Lupin; Remus Lupin is kissing you. The boy who unintentionally caught your heart is kissing you. It’s unbelievable, it’s undeniable, and it’s far from underrated. You don’t hesitate to kiss him back, even through your initial shock.

His hands cup your cheeks, his thumbs stroke your skin ever so gently. You wrap your arms around his neck, one of your hands toying with the hair on the back of his head. He’s a good kisser, very good. That’s why when he parts your lips, you protest.

“Why did you-”

“If we’re going to do this, you have to promise me it’s not a game anymore y/n.”

Your head is fuzzy from how intently he’s looking at you. “I promise Remus, that game has been over for a while.”

“You swear it?”

“I do. Do you?”

“Of course.” There are a few seconds of silence before he sighs, one of his fingers now playing with a piece of your hair. “We have to keep it secret.”

“I know,” you say.

He brushes the piece of hair behind your ear, the intimate gesture sending tingles throughout your body. “I don’t want it to be a quick shag either,” he adds.

“What do you want it to be then?”

The smile he gives you makes your stomach flip. “More.”

~~~

More from Remus Lupin is everything.

After that night, the two of you begin something you don’t exactly know how to name. You would call it a secret relationship, but the thought of that gives you a stomachache. The two of you don’t interact during the day, at least not where anyone else can see. He passes you in the hall as if you’re a stranger, but the second he catches you around a corner in an empty hallway he showers you with affection. And at night when the two of you sneak off, he touches you in ways you never thought possible.

He shows you so many new places in the castle you never knew of. Secret passages, secret rooms, all of it. You never question how he knows all of it, you only hold his hand tighter as he guides you. When he suggests a more secluded place to meet, you of course agree. Though, you never expect that place to be the shrieking shack.

“There’s no way you’re serious,” you say. The two of you are outside, near the Whomping Willow. You make sure to stay out of its reach. “The shrieking shack? That place is haunted, the ghosts don’t even go there because of how scary it is.”

“Obviously I’m not Sirius love, you only shagged him once,” he sarcastically replies, rolling his eyes to emphasize his joke.

“Remus.”

“The shrieking shack is not haunted, believe me, that’s only a silly rumor made so that people won’t go to it. Me, James, Sirius, and Peter go all the time. It has a bed, and given our activities I say we utilize that,” he explains.

You bite your lip. “Are you positive?”

He moves a bit closer to you and places a hand on your shoulder, leaning down so he’s at eye level with you. “You know I would never let anything hurt you, you can trust me.”

“Alright, but how are we supposed to get there so late? It’s in Hogsmeade,” you question.

He chuckles. “Haven’t you learned by now the marauders have many secret ways?”

“Yes, but we’re not in the castle right now how are we to- Remus don’t go any closer you’re going to get hurt you-” You pause, your mouth hung open as you watch the whomping willow go completely still. “How did you...”

“Secrets love, now come, it’s getting late,” he says, holding a hand out to you.

You don’t hesitate to take his hand and follow him into the tree, nothing else is said.

Surprisingly, the walk isn’t too long. It’s dark, gloomy, and a bit cold, but it’s not terrible. At the end of the tunnel, there’s a door. Something in Remus’s posture shifts, almost as if he’s anxious. You squeeze his hand to try to reassure him of whatever he needs, he gives you a smile through the dark that makes your cheeks warm.

The shrieking shack isn’t big, not at all. It’s a simple building with a few rooms and a short staircase. Remus brings the two of you to what you presume is the bedroom though the only indicator is a mattress, blanket, and pillow on the floor. There’s a small fireplace in the room as well, shockingly full of wood and some candles placed near the mattress. The entire shack is creaky and dusty, but you don’t mind. As long as there’s no ghosts, it’s perfect. Remus lets go of your hand and moves to start a fire. You sit down on the mattress and light the candles around.

“What do you guys use this place for?” You ask.

“It’s just a place we come to sometimes when we don’t want to be around other people,” he answers. His back is still turned to you, you could stare at it all day. “Sirius was the first one to discover it wasn’t haunted.”

“Oh? How did he find that out?”

“He’s always been the bravest out of us, though I think he just wanted another rule to break.”

You chuckle. “That sounds like him.”

He finally stands and turns to face you, a bright fire burning behind him. “You would know, you shagged him.”

“Oh, shut up,” you say as you slide off your shoes.

He begins to walk to you. “Can I ask you a question?”

“This context doesn’t seem good, but yes you can,” you reply.

“Be completely honest, out of the three of us, who’s the best?”

He’s standing right in front of you now. You look up at him, a coy smile on your lips, and begin to untie his shoelaces. “You are of course.”

“For some reason, I think your answer is biased,” he says with a laugh.

You trail your hands up his legs after he steps out of his sneakers, stopping once you reach his belt buckle. It quickly gets undone. “What would make you say that?”

He laughs again. “Just a hunch I guess.”

Your moment of control is taken fast when he pushes you down on the mattress, his lips attacking yours. It isn’t a lie though; he is the best. Unlike with Sirius and James, you share such deeper feelings for Remus. Each time he touches you, you practically melt into the palm of his hand. He’s caring. He’s gentle, but rough when need be. Though the two of you argue sometimes, it always is resolved with a hug, a kiss, or a shag. So, in the simplest of words, Remus Lupin is the perfect boy in every way.

All your clothes are discarded quickly, his too. He kisses you deeply as he uses his fingers on you. Sometimes you wonder where he’s learned all his skills from, but even thinking about him with another girl has started to make your stomach hurt. Instead, you focus on how good two of his fingers feel inside you. They’re so long, so slender. More than once in class you’ve been completely distracted by the sight of his hands, specifically his fingers, even more specifically when he’s wearing rings on them. They feel just as you imagine, extraordinary.

When you cum, you’re moaning a mess into his mouth, your body shaking. He milks every last bit of your orgasm out of you before stopping. You watch through heavy lids as he sucks his fingers clean of your cum, the sight makes you audibly groan.

“I need you,” you whisper, running one of your hands through his hair.

“Do you?” There’s something in the tone of his voice mixed with the way he’s looking at you that makes your heart ache in your chest.

You nod. “In so many ways Rem.”

“Promise?”

“Always.”

He moves inside you slowly at first, but he finds a decent pace after a few minutes. Because of his height, you weren’t at all surprised at the size of his cock. It’s by far the biggest you’ve ever encountered and the best. Though sometimes it leaves you sore, it always leaves you in a daze of dopamine.

Remus struggles to keep his head at your level as he fucks you. He presses soft kisses to your forehead, one of his hands intertwined with yours. You’ve never felt such intimacy in your life, it almost makes tears form in your eyes.

“Tell me you’re mine,” he says, his voice shaky. “Even if it’s not true.”

“I’m yours, Rem, completely,” you reply. His hips meet yours harder, and you moan. “All yours I’m all yours.”

Neither of you lasts much longer than that.

In the aftermath as the two of you hold each other, he rests his head on your chest. You run your fingers through his hair softly, the sound of his breathing like music to your ears. It’s at this moment you realize just how deeply you care for him. You hate what you did with that silly plan, but you don’t think you’d change it. If ending up in this moment only came from the plan, you’d do it over a million times.

“Is this real?” Remus asks after some time.

You sigh and press a kiss to the top of his head. “Yes. This is real.”

And so, it is.

[strawberriianime]

those eyes

♡ Douma x innocent angel!reader

♡ cw: descriptions of sex, oral sex, unprotected sex, Douma being a complete liar, dominant Douma, Douma being a JERK, creampies? creampies, slight degradation & humiliation, loss of virginity, basically sexxxx.

♡ Douma is known for being cunning, so no figure he was able to fool you~

Humming softly you cleaned the delicate vases in the cool spring water allowing all sprinkles of dirt to get off of the vase. Your thin white dress was floating slightly in the water not bothering you the slightest. You would come down to this spring every now and then to wash different things, a way of blessing an item. Being an angel who had just recently arrived on earth you were getting used to the whole angel thing, you didn’t have much to do just visit small communities and offer small blessings. Blending in was easy, you had the appearance of a normal human your wings only being out when necessary since being here you haven’t run into any problems. Until.

Shaking the access water from the vase, you began making your way out of the water dressed, completely clinging to your body and showing off your lovely figure. Nipples poked through the long sheer gown, showing off the hue of the nubs. 

“My my my, a woman shouldn’t be out here all alone you know” You turned your head left and right looking for the mysterious person who spoke suddenly. Facing back forward you were met with a pair of rainbow-colored eyes. You jumped slightly causing you to fall into the spring and drop the vase you were blessing causing it to break. 

“Oh no you’ve fallen in, my deepest apologies. Please take my hand and allow me to help you out.” He smiled sticking his hand out to you. You took his hand as he helped you up and brought you out of the water. 

“What might you have been up to? Out here all alone, how dangerous.” He kept that smile on his face, something about him was hypnotizing it was like his eyes put you in a trance. 

“I was simply cleaning some belongings, I come quite often I was doing fine. Thank you for being concerned sir.” you smiled at him shaking the access water off of you.

“Oh no problem at all, a beauty like you must be protected you never know what could be lurking in the shadows out here ready to gobble your up.” His head tilted slightly to the side. Perhaps he was right, you know demons are real and they like to prey on the innocent. So it could be quite dangerous for you, you’ve only spent a total of 8 days on Earth and all has been swell so far. 

“Perhaps you’re right, it is best that I do get going thank you for helping me.” you began walking away grabbing the one other vase that had not been broken.

“Ah, I can’t let you go just yet it is my fault that your other vase broke. It is only right if I replaced it. I have a dear friend who makes the loveliest vases you would just adore. So please allow me to replace it?” he placed his hands together almost begging you to come with him.

As an angel, giving the man a chance would be your moral duty. “Sure, however, I am soaking wet.” you sighed referring to the soaked sheer dress you were still wearing. 

“Here” he wrapped an overshirt over your body, taking your hand. “Let us be on the way, I stay not too far from here” he began walking taking you with him. It took quite literally no time to get to his “home” it was more like a temple. Quite off that you did not see this any other time you wandered these woods, possibly you’ve missed some areas.

He pushed open a set of cold stone doors, the room decorated with nothing but shades of red and hints of black. The room was cold, not your average cold but below-freezing cold and you wearing wet clothing which made it no better. Your nipples began hardening making you cross your arms along your chest attempting to shield them from the male in the room with you. 

“My would you like to shed your wet clothing? You would only get sick wearing such clothing at this temperature. I will go get you a towel, you may remove your clothing.” he hummed slightly making his way from the bedroom area. You began removing the overshirt from your body, laying it on a nearby rack. Peeling off the wet dress, you were left in your bare state. You had really no reason to wear any garments under your clothing, although you didn’t own any anyways. Jumping slightly, you felt a cloth being brushed along your skin. 

“Shh it’s just me dear.” the familiar voice ranged out. He ran the cloth along your back, your arms, and slowly down your legs. It was almost embarrassing being exposed so freely to a man you hardly know but there was something so charming about him.

“No need to be so shy, I'm simply aiding you as it was my fault you fell in anyway.” he hummed. He made his way to the front of your body brushing the towel over your breast and making a circular motion with the cloth.

“Hm, it would be better if you at on the bed. I can dress you better that way” It was as if your body moved on its own causing your bottom to make a connection with the bed. He took the towel and began drying your left foot making way up your leg. Switching to your other foot, he began drying up your leg making his way up to your thighs. Taking the cloth he began drying your thighs, ensuring to absorb any moisture from the spring. 

“Spread your legs,” he stated as if that was a normal thing to say to any woman. 

“Uh, I-” Your face flushed to a shade of strawberry red.

“I’m just drying you off any I can’t dry you properly when you’re clamping your legs together locking their moisture in,” he states hands finding themselves on your plush thighs. Although it did not matter considering the strong grip he had on your thighs, you cracked your legs open slightly only for him to spread them wide open. Taking the cloth once more, he began wiping at the inner parts of your thighs getting rid of the last bit of spring water. He dropped the cloth to the floor, allowing his ice-cold hands to dance along your body. He ran a finger up your body, stopping right at your chin.

“You just smell of innocence, never been touched by a man or woman if you’re into that. The way you glide through the water of the spring just begging to be eaten up.” your face twisted up in confusion, what was he getting at?

“As I was drying you, you don’t think I noticed the way you tensed up or the way you clamped your legs together as if begging for me to touch you more?” he brought his face close to yours those rainbow eyes glowing even in a room with little to no light. 

“Sir I must not do this, it isn’t right and I must remain pure.” you turned your head away from him.

“You will still be pure, just do whatever your heart desires~” his cold tongue licked along the side of your neck making you squeal. He lapped at your neck licking from the bottom all the way to the tip of your chin. You felt him push your body back slightly, your back coming in contact with the cool sheets. His large body towered over yours with ease. He licked at your neck again, this time trailing down making way from your shoulders to your right nipple. He licked ever so lightly at the bud that had been hardened by the temperature causing your to squirm under his body. He took his time with your nipple, sucking at the bud getting it nice and wet, rolling it along his tongue. He brought one of his fingers up your leg, dancing its way up to your warm entrance. You’ve never been touched by anyone like this before, it was a new feeling of complete bliss. Your body felt as if it had electricity flowing through it. His finger poked at your entrance, swiping slightly to remove the stickiness of your juices that held your folds together. Stroking at your entrance was enough to get your hips rolling. Just as he switched from your right nipple to your left, you felt him insert one of his cold fingers inside your warmth. He moved the solo finger slowly, allowing you to adjust to his finger. The feeling of his finger inside you and him toying with your nipple was almost enough to send you over the edge.

He released your nipple from his mouth, a thin trail of saliva bridging between the two. Your body tensed up as you felt him slide down to your lower half, cool breath tickling at your entrance. Taking both of his hands, he pushed your thighs apart spreading them to the widest of their ability. You felt his tongue lick with the perfect amount of pressure at your clit causing you to let out an erotic moan. You heard him chuckle slightly before he dove into your cunt licking sloppily while sucking harshly at the right areas. He sucked at your clit rolling the nub along his tongue, cool breath mixed with your warm heat causing your back to arch off of the bed. He gripped at your thighs, cuffing them into his hands holding you in place as he lapped at your cunt as if it was his last meal on earth. Your hands soon found their way to his golden hair, gripping the hair in your fist tight but not tight enough that it’ll cause pain. As if it was not enough already, you felt him release one of your thighs, taking two of his fingers and pushing them into your entrance. You groaned feeling the pressure of his fingers mixed with the feeling of him eating at your heat. Before you know it, he flipped you over so you were now on all fours and he was laying flat on his back. Your body hovered over his as he locked his hands into your thighs once more, pushing your heat down onto his face and allowing him to smother himself with your juices. The feeling was too much as your legs began shaking, but that did not stop his pace at all. With one final suck at your clit your body trembled to feel a euphoric feeling flood over your body. 

You began catching your breath, chest heaving with each breath. You have never experienced this feeling, not once in 100 years. Was this wrong? Dragging you out of your thoughts you felt something fairly large Without any warning, you felt your inside being stretched to the fullest. The feeling was a mix of pain and pleasure and at the moment you were definitely feeling more pain. 

“Please Sir I can’t take it.” your face scrunched up as the burn started to slowly fade.

“Oh but you can, and you will” he smiled showing those rainbow eyes. Looking into them almost had you in a trance, you didn’t realize that he began moving as you stared so deeply into his eyes. It wasn’t until a sharp snap of his hip that brought you to your sense. With every stroke he was slow but sharp, letting you feel every inch that he had to offer.  Taking your hands and pinning them above your head, he began adjusting the pace. Things had gone from slow and sharp to a new pace of fast and rough. Each thrust was jagged, snapping so harshly into you as if he wanted to rip you in half. Your breast bounced at each thrust, the bed creaked loudly through the room, and the only sound left would be the sound of your squelching cunt that filled the room with its wetness.

“Fuck, you’re so tight I could barely fit still.”

“Gonna stretch you out nice and good just for me.”

“My hell you’re so fucking wet’“

You whined as his fast rough pace began puncturing your insides, you could feel every inch of him within the deepest parts of your stomach. Your cunt swallowed him whole, as it had been stretched as if it had been perfectly molded to his shape. He removed himself from you, once more finding yourself being flipped back onto all fours. He pushed you back down creating the perfect arch for him, allowing himself to push deeply back into you, The burning was still there as his raw flesh met your soft spongy walls. He dug himself deep into you, the deepest you’ve felt him go so far. He lowered his body, his chest resting on your back as he wrapped his hands around your lower waist slamming himself deep into you. You gripped the sheets under you, as a new wave of please came over your body.

“Sir please” you called out eyes shut tight body barely can hold on much longer. He licked at your ear, whispering a bunch of sweet nothings. 

“Who would’ve ever thought that fucking an angel would be this easy? Oh, I have to tell the other uppermoons.” he chuckled body still pressed deep into yours. Uppermoons? What..

“Demons and angels aren’t supposed to be together but I think we fight together perfectly like two missing puzzle pieces.” Demon...? He was a demon?

“Oh don’t tell me you really couldn’t tell. How sad, the big scary demon just devoured the poor innocent angel. What are the odds you let a demon not only fuck you but take your first time?” he laughed not missing a single thrust. 

“Don’t tell me you like that, your clamping down on me mighty tight” Your face flushed with shock so many emotions ran through your head. 

“Don’t worry, your Lord Douma will take good care of you.”  he snapped his hips sharply one last time enough to push you over the edge. You felt his own bodily fluid mix with yours, invading your intimate areas. He pulled himself out of you, laying your body down softly. He propped himself up staring at you with those rainbow eyes once more, this time a kanji symbol appearing in them. How can you be so dense, sadly to say you kinda liked it?

[sailorholly]

Between Us Pt. 7

Summary: You and Spencer had a casual relationship. A misunderstanding ruins it all.

Pairing: Spencer Reid × F. BAU Reader

Warnings: Friends with benefits. Angst. Pregnancy. A tiny bit of smut. 18+ Only. Minors DNI.

See my Masterlist here

Part Six

Spencer ended things with Ashley. It was a huge fight. She didn’t want him to leave her. She knew it had something to do with you. So she resented you. She would bring the greasiest pizza for lunch for the whole team after you mentioned the smell made you sick.

She would comment about how much weight you were gaining. She made you feel so insecure, it was becoming a problem. Your face was swollen today, you couldn’t do anything with your hair, and you felt too nauseous to do your makeup this morning. You walked in to work, hoping Ashley wouldn’t be there.

“You look awful. Pregnancy doesn’t suit you.” She says the moment she sees you. Your hormones have been all over the place lately. Your first instinct was to grab her by the throat, but then you thought about her words, and all her petty behavior towards you. Tears filled your eyes, streaking down your cheeks.

“Why do you think it’s okay to talk to someone the way you talk to me? I would never say anything like that to you. What’s your problem with me anyways? You have hated me since the day you started here. I haven’t done anything to you.”

The tears keep falling, you can’t help it. She was cruel. “It’s all about you, isn’t it? Reid wouldn’t even look at me because of you. You had him wrapped around your finger, then you blew it! I finally had my chance, but he was still obsessed with you! He wouldn’t sleep with me because of you. He barely kissed me! Then you got pregnant on purpose to trap him.” She walks right up to you, pointing her finger accusing you.

“Ashley, I did not get pregnant on purpose! I had nothing to do with your relationship.” You try to explain, but she interrupts again. “Save it! I don’t believe you. You’ve got him right where you want him now. I just don’t understand why he would want you, when he could have me!” She places her hands on your shoulders, shoving you backwards.

The back of your legs hit a desk. She is still screeching at you when Spencer pulls her away. “Ashley, get off of her! What are you doing? You could hurt her and the baby!” His cheeks go red, dark eyes flashing. You’ve never seen him this angry before. He looks you over, inspecting carefully for any sign of injury. “Are you okay?” You nod, you’re a little shaken up because you didn’t expect her to put her hands on you.

Hotch comes out of his office, his face stern as he calls Ashley to him. Spencer tells him you’re both taking the day off. He agrees, as he shuts the door behind her. Spencer took you to his apartment, where you spent the day watching your favorite movies and cuddling.

You would normally protest the affection, but after the morning you had it was welcome. As the evening approached, Spencer ordered your latest craving, and you watched one of his favorites, some Russian movie with no subtitles. You had watched it three times with him before, so you knew what was going on. You didn’t stop him when he leaned over to whisper the translation in your ear. His hot breath sent goosebumps down your arms.

It was getting late, so you stood up telling Spencer you needed to go home. “You can sleep here. I’ll take the couch.” You think about it, but not for long. You really do want to stay. You were comfy here and it had started storming. Spencer knew you were terrified, that’s probably why he offered. So you accepted, you took a shower while he laid out one of the few t-shirts he owned for you to sleep in.

You tossed and turned, the thunder was so loud it felt like it shook the apartment building. You had tried to sleep, but between the storm and what happened with Ashley, you couldn’t. You were so angry with her for putting her hands on you. She’s lucky you were pregnant and caught off guard. If you weren’t, you wouldn’t have a job to go back to tomorrow.

You thought of how Spencer stood up for you. He had never been hotter. This new protective side of him was something else. You feel the familiar ache between your legs. If your hormones weren’t making you cry, they made you horny. You slipped your fingers into your panties, trying to take care of yourself. Three hours could have passed, and you wouldn’t have known. You were getting no where. You were hot, and so desperate for release.

You should have went home, at least you had your vibrator there. You stand in front of Spencer’s sleeping body on the couch, debating on waking him up. You decide to turn around and go back to bed, but he wakes up.

“What’s the matter? Are you okay?” He sits up, wild eyed and panic lacing his voice. “Um, I -I” You stutter, suddenly feeling ashamed. He stands looking you over for visible injuries. “What is it?” He was concerned and probably scared something was wrong with the baby. “Everything is okay - with the baby.” You finally manage.

Spencer rubs the sleep from his eyes. “Something’s wrong with you then?” You put your hands on your hips, his shirt raising on your thighs. His gaze lingers on the newly exposed skin for longer than they should. “It’s embarrassing.” You confess.

“Y/N, you know you can tell me anything.” He grabs your hand, rubbing soothing circles by your thumb. You let out a deep breath. “I’m so horny, I think I might die if I don’t get off. I tried to do something about it myself, but it’s not enough.”

He looks at you, confused. “What do you want me to - oh!” Realization sinks in. He runs a hand through his messy brown curls. “Are you sure?” He asks so softly, you’re not sure if you really heard it. “Yes, I’ve never been more sure of anything. Spencer, I need you.”

Spencer pulls you to him on the couch, your legs spreading on either side of his sitting form. He presses soft kisses to your lips, but you need more. You deepen the kiss, hands traveling down to lift his shirt. He helps you, tossing it over his head, kissing down your neck. His long fingers trail along your torso, toward your breasts. He takes your nipples between his fingers, pinching lightly.

You moan, loving how sensitive they were because of the pregnancy. It makes everything more intense. Spencer gently moves you off him, to a lying position on the couch. He lifts the t-shirt he let you wear over your head, tossing it carelessly to the floor. He looks at you with a softness you've never seen before. Suddenly, you feel very self-conscious.

You try to cover yourself. You weren't thinking about how differently you looked now. Your breasts were swollen, your stomach wasn't close to being a baby bump yet, but you were bloated. Spencer had to notice too. What were you thinking? He was only doing this to fulfill some kind of obligation he felt for you. He knocked you up, so he had to help you out. That's how Spencer was, he would always take care of you. But you couldn't take advantage of him like this.

"Is everything okay?" He asks, noticing the sudden change. "I'm not in the mood anymore, but thanks for helping." You force a small smile, but he notices. He was very observant. That's what made him such a good profiler. "You're soaking wet. Why are you trying to stop this?" He runs a finger down the seam of your panties to prove his point, your arousal soaking through the fabric, wetting his finger.

"I just look so differently than the last time we did this. I get it if you're not attracted to me right now. I just don't want you to be doing this out of pity." You gesture to your exposed body. "I think you're even more beautiful than before. Your body is changing to make a comfortable home for our baby. I'm so lucky I get to have you like this."

Spencer takes a nipple between his lips, large hand dipping under the waistband of your panties. He hooks an impossibly long finger inside you, his thumb swirling soft circles against your clit. Any worries you had about him not being attracted to you, fade as he works you with his fingers. You feel the pressure building low in your stomach as his tongue swipes at your nipples. He was always so talented with his mouth. You shatter around his fingers, as he removes his lips from your breasts. "You did so good for me." He praises, kissing your stomach.

You yawn, the force of the orgasm and all the craziness from today finally allowing you to rest. "You need to rest, come on." Spencer helps you off the couch, leading you to his bed. "But what about you?" You ask, motioning toward his erection. "I'm fine, really. Tonight was all about you." You open your mouth to protest, but another yawn slips out. He tucks you under the blankets, kissing your forehead before walking back to his makeshift bed on the couch.

Tags

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[lynzishell]

The Past 💛 Atlas

When I arrive at the office Monday morning, I immediately have the urge to walk straight back to my desk and bury myself in work as I normally would. But then, remembering the promise I made, I stop and stand in the doorway, silently fighting with myself over which direction to go while the room fills with its usual chatter as people start their day.

Eventually, the better part of me wins out and I walk toward Ash’s desk, my feet moving heavy and slow along the black tufted carpet. My jaw clenches tight as I remember how we left things yesterday. We haven’t spoken since, and I worry we’ll have backtracked to where we were only a month ago, when things were awkward and cold, when he barely spoke to me. But I meant it when I told him he’s my best friend, and I’ll do whatever I can to preserve that, so I prepare myself to face him and hope he’s willing to talk to me.

But when I approach his desk, he’s not there. His chair is empty, and his monitors are still asleep. Every day since he started, he’s already been here and working by the time I arrive. But not today.

I tug at my upper lip with my fingertips as worry fills me. Is he sick? Is something wrong? Is he avoiding me?

I look toward Lex’s desk and find her facing away from me to talk with Kamryn, complimenting her performance at the club the other night. I’m certain I won’t be her favorite person today, but my worry over Ash overshadows my concern for whatever bodily harm she has planned for me, so I walk over and interrupt her, “Hey Lex?”

Her smile falls when she turns around to face me, and her eyes squint slightly behind her glasses, “What?” It’s not a friendly greeting, but it could be worse.

“Is Ash coming in today?”

Without breaking eye contact she points to her left, “Over there.”

My gaze follows the direction of her finger, past the desks to the kitchenette along the far wall, where Ash is filling a cup of coffee and laughing. Evan is over there with him, clearly having said something very funny, and my jaw clamps down again as I feel a burst of irritation spread through me. I don’t know why I’m bothered. It’s nothing new. They’ve been friends with Ash as long as I have. But there’s something about the way they’re talking to him, the way they’re smiling at him, in the same place where I first met him, laughed with him… I remember that day clearly, it was warmer than expected and he had that same jacket tied around his waist, holding a cup of coffee and smiling up at me as he asked my name… I wish I could go back to that day. I wish we could start over again.

I shake my head and look back at Lex who rolls her eyes at me. “You know, he is going to move on one day.”

Right. As much as the thought fills me with dread, I know she’s right. With a small nod, I say quietly, “I know.”

“Well, what are you waiting for? Go talk to him.”

“Is he mad?”

"No, you're fine. Just go."

"Alright, I'm going."

When I approach them, Ash looks over at me, still smiling from whatever hilarious banter they were in the middle of before I showed up, “Atlas, hi.”

“Hey.” I suddenly feel awkward with the two of them looking at me. Maybe I shouldn’t have come over; maybe I should’ve waited until later to try talking to him. But it’s too late, I’m here now, and I have no idea what I’m supposed to say.

Evan, sensing the rising tension, takes a nervous breath and says, “Okay. Well, I should probably get to work.”

Ash gives them a grateful smile and waits for them to leave before turning to me and asking, “You wanna take a walk?”

“Sure.”

It’s a nice day out, bright and sunny, the sky cloudless and blue, but it’s deceiving. Without the insulation of clouds, the air is frigid. The kind of cold that reaches into you and grips your bones. The kind of cold I’ll need to get used to.

We walk in silence for a minute or two, and I get the feeling he’s waiting for me to speak first, but I don’t know what to say or where to start. I know if I wait too long, I won’t speak at all, so I opt for something mundane and hope the right words will come to me once we start talking. “How did things go with your sister yesterday?”

“It was fine. She got the last pieces of furniture for the nursery and wanted me to help set it up. I wish I hadn’t gone though.”

“How come?”

“I have a bad habit of always jumping when she says jump. It’s something I’m working on, but it’s hard. I wish I’d told her no. I wish I hadn’t rushed out on you. I’m really sorry about that. And I’m sorry if I made things weird.”

He’s apologizing to me?

“No, you didn’t. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m the one that should be sorry. I don’t know what my problem was yesterday. I woke up feeling so, I don’t know, anxious, I guess.”

“Probably the fuckin’ molly. It’s fun while it lasts, but the come down can be a bitch sometimes.”

“Yeah, I guess. But aside from that, you’re right, I’ve been confusing and I’m sorry for that. I just… I wish things were different. I wish I was different.”

“What do you mean you wish you were different?”

“I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”

“Well, for the record, I don’t wish you were different. I think you’re pretty great just as you are.”

I have trouble believing he means that, but the words make me smile, nonetheless. “So, are we okay then?”

“Yeah. Yeah, we’re okay.” He gives me a soft, reassuring smile that warms me from the inside.

“Good,” I breathe a sigh of relief. He’s far kinder to me than I deserve, I know this, and I don’t ever want to take it for granted. “You really are my best friend, Ash, and I don’t want to mess that up.”

“I know. I don’t either.” He looks like he may want to say something more, but then decides against it and looks away.

Without thinking about it, I reach over and rub his back. When I do, he smiles up at me and I have an overwhelming desire to pull him closer. I consider for a moment whether I should, or whether it’d be better not to, finally deciding to just ask, “Can I give you a hug?”

His smile widens as he nods, “Always,” and throws his arms around my shoulders.

It’s strange. My whole life I’ve always kept a certain distance from people, always shied away from affection. Never having the courage to admit that I needed it, let alone to ask for it. But here I am now, with my arms around him, squeezing him tight, and allowing myself to relax into his, to be comforted by their warmth.

I’m not sure when it happened, but something in me has changed. A small piece of me, healed. And it makes me wonder. Wonder if there’s hope. Hope that it’s not too late, that maybe I can still fix the parts of me that are broken.

As we step away from each other, and begin to circle our way back, he asks, “So, d’you maybe want to get together this week and work on our game or something?” I like that he’s started referring to it as our game. I like that we have something that’s ours. And I wish more than anything that I could make time for him this week.

“I don’t think I can. I have to train. We only have four months until our climb, so I need to get focused.” The truth is, I’ve been more than a little distracted lately, and Kiyoshi’s been getting after me, worried I won’t be ready. I’m not particularly worried, but I promised I’d do better.

“Oh right. It’s gonna be here before you know it. You should definitely focus on training.”

“Yeah. I’ll have some time on Saturday, though. If you want to come over.”

“That works. So, are you not going to the Winter Party on Friday then?”

“Shit, is that this week?”

“Yep.”

“Okay, yeah no, I’ll be there. I was actually supposed to ask you, are you brining a plus-one?”

“No, why, are you?”

“Yeah, my sister. Dawn wants to come.”

“Oh, that’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, but she wants to bring her boyfriend too. I was supposed to ask if you’d mind putting him down as your plus-one so he can come along.”

“I don’t mind, as long as he’s not an asshole or anything.”

“Phoenix? No, definitely not.”

“That’s good. My sister has a long history of dating assholes. I’m glad yours has better taste.”

“Right. How is Iris doing anyway?”

“She’s fine. Very much ready for Spencer to arrive.”

“I bet. You ready to be an uncle?”

“Hell yeah. I’m gonna spoil the shit outta that kid.”

“As you should.”

Prev // Next

[dojunie]

MISDIAL; LJN [CH5] VOICEMAIL REDUX

[★]; [MISDIAL MASTERLIST] [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]

info;

lee jeno x fem!reader

college au

chaptered

very slow burn

genre; not-quite-friends to lovers, older brother mark lee, brothers best friend lee jeno, light angst, yn is a menace to society, story/character driven

warnings for this chapter; kys mention in joking manner

chapter wc: ...13K

a/n: i couldn't decide between posting this monster whole or cutting it into two parts, but two parts kind of makes the pacing weird, so here she is in all her glory! been editing this so long that i've gotten sick of looking at it so im just going to release it into the world now LOL, pls pls pls give me feedback on this chapter, im not 100% satisfied w it but i cant tell if its because it sucks or i've just been rereading it too much 🥸

current tl: @hibernatinghamster / @jenoxygen / @eaglesnotravens / @donutswithjaminthemiddle / @jvjsssnaa / @huangrenhyucks / @luvenshiti / @shiningdery / @jaeminsbebu / @aliceinwhateverland / @bebsky / @gem-gem / @jkjkseo / @jenosbliss / @pewpewpwe00 / @ti–red / @philanarose / @softbbyg0rl / @aaasteroidsky / @carelessshootanonymous / @en-boyz / @jlsavyy / @roseymerrie / @bangchanisemo / @skuezk / @jaehyuns-adorable-dimples / @ourbeautifulaffair / @jeonnyread / @jvjsssnaa / @episkeyjeno / @bockhyun / @jenojammin / @zarastrawberry / @peachie-bear / @itadaramaterasu / @alymii / @cuteejeno / @episkeyjeno / @nohunlee / @ooojisoo / @luv4jeno / @jydivrs / @pinkysinnerbaby / @jenojenoyes / @maeyoung / @axmdocs / @nctzennikki09

.

.

.

FORGET WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT NEVER BEING ABLE TO GET MAD AT SOMI, BECAUSE THIS TIME, YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO KILL HER.

At this exact moment in time, the Aegon Showcase is set to begin in about fifteen minutes. You’ve got half of a chocolate muffin stuffed into your mouth (courtesy of Somi sneaking a few snacks from the audience lounge, since the dancers technically weren’t supposed to be eating any of the guest refreshments), and you were about halfway through swallowing this chunk of bread when Somi said something that made you nearly choke.

For context: six and a half days have passed since you’ve last spoken to Jeno.

And you haven’t been counting, either. It just so happens that it is surprisingly easy to recall every passing minute when each one feels like it’s been put there specifically to test you.

The afternoon after the Balcony Incident, for example— a few fresh hours after you left Lee Jeno behind on that overlook with the full intention of never looking him in the eyes ever again. After a late breakfast with Somi you’d told her you weren’t feeling too well, that you’d be leaving a little earlier than planned (which, even though you’d said your pain was of the intestinal variety, wasn’t untrue; you didn’t feel well, if the widening pit in your stomach caused by that morning was anything to go by) and departed her penthouse a little after one. 

You’d foolishly hoped that Jeno and his entourage would have plans literally anywhere other than Mark’s place for once, wanting to do nothing but silently mope around the apartment for a few hours once you'd gotten home, but you’d been naive.

You’d been so, so naive.

“Oh!” you’d heard. Renjun. Brown hair, big dark eyes peeking at you around the doorframe as you cradled your now-aching nose bridge. You opened the front door and crashed face first into something solid. “Hey, you. Perfect timing. Do you wanna come grocery shopping with us? Jaemin’s cooking tonight!”

“We’ll even let you ride in the cart,” Chenle chimed in from further into the hallway, grinning wickedly, but you couldn’t focus on either of them because they were both half-hidden behind what you’d smashed into with your haste to get inside. No gray flannel this time, but the same unreadable expression on his face as he, much like he did at the party last night, instinctively grabbed you to keep you from falling on your ass.

(Or his expression was unreadable. Until his eyes trained on something about your face that he didn’t like and his dark eyebrows furrowed with something akin to concern. Then you remembered you’d been crying all morning and surely looked like some sort of dried-out blowfish, eyelids puffy and swollen, so you averted your eyes and jumped out of his grip like he’d stung you.)

“Busy,” you told them quickly, “Sorry. Not today.”

Renjun pouted. Chenle squinted at you, obviously doubtful. And when Jeno finally moved out of the way, you didn’t even thank him for keeping you upright. You just kept your attention on the ground and beelined into the apartment.

Little did you know, that one word would become your mantra. Busy, busy, busy. But it wasn’t like you were completely lying, because you were busy. The Aegon showcase was in a week which meant you had practice every free hour with Somi and the others, and the last thing you needed was to get distracted by circling Jeno like some kind of sad, miserable shark. The good thing about being out of the house so often was that most of the week passed with no more Jeno-related incidents.

Thursday night ended up being the first time you’d seen him with your own eyes since you face-planted into him the previous Saturday.

You’d returned home at 10PM, sweaty and exhausted from a last minute choreo change that had, apparently, also wiped clean the memory of what Thursday nights meant in the Mark Lee household. Movie night. The tiredness you felt was so all-encompassing that upon the discovery of all seven of them sitting around the couch staring at you as you entered, there wasn’t even enough energy to feel awkward. Even then, you must not have looked as ghastly as you felt because Jaemin smiled at you like nothing was amiss, gesturing towards the dining table and the mountain of brown bags atop it.

“You’re late, Rockstar. Take-out’s gone cold.”

Jeno was sitting right next to him. Your muscles were like jelly. All of your bones hurt. Your brain felt like it was operating on nothing but fumes. (And this is what you blamed for your cowardice— the fact that you couldn’t even hold your head up to look in his direction in fear of catching his eye.)

After everyone had gone home and you had free reign of the kitchen once again, Mark hit you with a few more questions about the Aegon Comp; seemingly insignificant inquiries like how the parking situation was (which you didn’t understand the importance of, since he said he’d probably ride his bike there), and if he could sit wherever he wanted (which again, confused you, because the ticke you’d gotten him was one of the best in house). But in your state of fatigue you didn’t think to question it. All you wanted to do was eat something and go to bed, and that’s exactly what you did.

(If you’d had your wits about you maybe you’d have put two and two together. Maybe Somi’s words wouldn’t have caught you with the surprise they did. But as it stands…)

As it stands it’s Friday afternoon, the day of the Aegon Showcase, and half a chocolate muffin is stuffed into your face (technically now stuffed into your airway) as you come to the realization that your friend might secretly be trying to ruin your life.

“You really need to stop eating your food so fast,” Jiara murmurs, clapping you on the back with a little more force than necessary. “No one is going to take it from you. Smaller bites will go a long way.”

You gasp a breath when the chunk finally unsticks. Then, “You saw who in the audience lounge?”

Somi is nonplussed by your horror.

“I saw your brother out there trying to throw a skittle over a lighting fixture and still catch it in his mouth. When I was leaving with our food I think I heard a bunch of people cheer so I’d bet he managed to do it, which, when you think about how high these ceilings are, is actually pretty impressive—”

You fight the urge to grab her by her shoulders and shake her. “I’m not asking about the goddamn skittles!” you hiss. “Somi, you said you saw ‘them’ when you went out there. Them as in plural. Who is them?”

She makes a face like you should already know who. “Who else? Mark and the rest of his crew. And Donghyuck asked to bring a few more, so I guess those are who the other guys out there are. Why are you acting like you didn’t already know this? You were sitting right next to me when Donghyuck was practically begging to come!”

Your life flashes before your eyes.

Jeno’s car. The rain, pounding against the windows. Catching him looking at you in the mirror after Somi told them about the showcase, how it felt like the world outside faded away a little as some little message passed between you— when you felt like he was telling you something without saying a single word.

Then you remember it. In your distant, distant periphery, even though she’d been sitting not even a millimeter to your left when these alleged plans were discussed.

‘Yeah! I mean, I reserved like, a bajillion seats in advance because I knew I’d want to invite everyone who would even consider coming— I’ll definitely get the best row for you guys!’

“However,” she says after a beat, voice finally starting to show the tiniest bit of caution. You realize that your face has begun to contort on its own. “I am starting… to get vibes. That I maybe should have run that by you first? Would now be a bad time to let you know that I told them about the afterparty, too?”

Utter disbelief. The only reason you don’t leap on her once you fully comprehend what she’s said is because Gawon, who’d been watching this entire exchange with quiet brown eyes, puts a hand on your shoulder. She must be able to tell that you’re about to start freaking out, because her therapist-voice is fully activated when she clears her throat.

“Can I ask what's so surprising about this?” she asks carefully. “When we were telling Aegon about how many tickets we each wanted, you said you only needed one. For your brother, right?”

You thought of the ticket, the little envelope you’d held under your pillow for weeks as you fought with the idea of actually giving it to Mark. In the end, a few days ago, when you handed it to him and told him he could come watch you perform if he wanted to, he smiled so big that you felt bad for waiting so long in the first place. But you’d then quickly explained the caveat: that he was not to tell any of the others about it, because there was only one ticket and you didn’t want them hassling you about getting more. And Mark agreed.

Which is why you’d dared to assume that tonight would be safe.

“Yes,” you mutter. “The ticket was for him.”

“Which means you’re not surprised he’s here. So are his friends the problem?”

“The problem?”

You pause. That word makes it seem like their appearance here is actually detrimental to you in some way, like they’re just here to hassle or bully you or something, but that’s not really it at all. Your annoyance at them being here is rooted in the exact opposite. They’re not going to joke around and take it easy, or pat you on the back and tell you that you did well, like how they would if they’d come to watch one of their friends dance. They’re going to swarm you and coo and treat you like a five year old that just stumbled through their first ballet recital.

And as if that isn't bad enough, you realize with a start that you've actually got more to worry about than just being embarrassed by their innate need to baby you.

They, you remember yet again. Plural.

You quickly fix your doomsday-esque expression. "Uh. No, no problem, just... I'm over-exaggerating, forget it, Somi, when you said they, how many are we talking exactly?"

"Seven," she says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and you fight to keep your shoulders from sagging. "The three from the car, your brother, and three others I don't really know as well, but who're all just as cute."

Seven. Which means Lee Jeno will be in the audience as well. You should've already known that, fully aware that wherever Mark goes Jeno will follow, but you'd been so startled by the change in attendance that you'd momentarily forgotten that you were pointedly avoiding one of that seven.

Great.

A click echoes over the announcement system. You recognize the voice that follows as the organizer of the showcase, the cheerful woman from the promotional video, happily informing all the performers to head to their greenrooms for final warm-ups before the show.

Well. Even if you wanted to mope for longer about your predicament, your mind switches lanes to the task at hand. Somi and Gawon both titter excitedly at the update, but make sure to quickly give their final reassurances about not worrying too much about the people in the audience and using that energy to give your all on stage. They’re right of course, and you probably would have come to this conclusion on your own once you swallowed your knee-jerk reaction to gripe about everything involving your brother and his friends, but you can’t say that their enthusiasm doesn't do the heavy lifting of bringing you back to earth.

You've got a competition to rock, after all. You could worry about everything else after.

Adrenaline made the hour-long showcase go by in what seemed like fifteen seconds. 

Just like that, a short chapter of your life closed with a bang; seven minutes on the stage, deafening cheers, Jiara and Guyeon pulling everyone into one big sweaty hug as soon as you were all out of the spotlight— then you blink and you’re in Gawon’s car with the windows down blasting down Gangnam on the way to Somi’s house, the girls in the seats around you singing along to the radio at the top of their lungs. The sun is setting, you’re heading to your celebratory afterparty, and what should be a picture-perfect moment is completely ruined by the fact that your mind has been in shambles for the last hour and a half. Why?

Because as you inch closer and closer to Somi’s penthouse, all you can think about is the fact that Lee Jeno is sitting up there biding his time before he can stomp your heart into a million more microscopic pieces.

What you didn’t mention about the moments after the performance was that, after rushing through changing out of your performance outfit to find your friends and get the hell out of there, you stumbled out of the greenroom to find a person. A person who was frowning out in the corridor like some sort of mopey ghost, Jeno in all his annoyingly perfect glory, caught mid-pace.

Upon seeing him your body rebooted, a hundred different emotions flashing through your system from the shock of him appearing in front of you at that moment. The only thing you had time to notice before his words ruined the rest of your afternoon was how… fidgety he was; Running his hand through his hair, rocking from foot to foot, crossing and uncrossing his arms over his chest. You’d always taken note of how still Jeno could be sometimes, not moving an inch for seemingly hours at a time, which was the main reason his current inability to stay still even caught your eye— but it was quickly overtaken by the utter despair you felt not soon after he caught sight of you and opened his mouth.

“Can we talk?” he’d asked. And he’d sounded so unsure of himself that you almost instantly crumbled to the puppy-dog eyes, before reality grabbed you by the neck and you remembered that talking to him was actually the last thing you wanted to be doing right now. 

“Busy,” you’d forced out. “My friends are waiting for me outside.”

But he must’ve seen this coming because he looked nonplussed as you took a step back, his own feet matching yours stride for stride, hands coming out almost as if to calm you like one might a spooked horse.

“It won’t take longer than a few minutes,” he tried, “Five minutes, just five. I just— I really, really want to clarify a few things from Saturday. What I said on the balcony.”

He said it like there was a chance you might’ve forgotten what happened, which almost made you laugh in disbelief. Like it was possible to forget that shitshow, your first love telling you that he was kind of interested in you once upon a time, but did nothing about it because your brother came first. Though, once you fully realized that he meant he wanted to talk about that right now, the moment lost its humor.

Now? Here? You glanced up and down the hallway. Your friends weren’t around, nor were his, but you were hardly alone.

“I wasn’t being entirely—”

“You're going to the party, aren’t you?” You cut Jeno off. Very unlike you when it came to him, and with the way he blinked you had a feeling he knew that too.

“The party?” 

“Somi said she invited you guys.”

“I— I wasn't sure you wanted me to come.”

“Somi invited you, Lee. Is that any way to treat your hostess? We can—” You swallowed. “Come by, and we can find a minute to talk then, but for now I really—”

“Have to go,” he finished with a small wince. “Got it.”

And once he’d metaphorically let you go, taking a step back to slip his hands in his pockets, you’d all but run away; finding Guyeon and Gawon waiting for you like they said they’d be, ready to leave and head to Alice’s house to pretty-up for the party in her gigantic flat. You were trying your best to keep up the energy when you got into the car with them, laughing along to their jokes and dancing along to the music, but you couldn’t stop thinking of what type of curbstomp Jeno was about to release on the suffering remains of your sixteen year-old feelings. 

Even up until the final touches of your make-up, you were commiserating. What the hell could he possibly want to clarify? 

Was he going to tell you to stop being weird around him and the others, because your mood was fucking up their vibe? To stop avoiding him so obviously, that it was as noticeable for everyone as it felt for you, that it was making it awkward for him?

Or could he mean that he was going to tell you he’d… misspoken? That he’d never really liked you the way you liked him, and didn’t want you to misunderstand— by interested in you he meant in the way all guys were interested in all girls, some lowly, surface level thing that he quickly got over when he realized his friendship with your brother could be jeopardized by it?

The last thought had stung a little more than the others, and you’d accidentally frowned so hard about it that it creased your still-setting concealer and had to wipe it all off.

After angrily redoing your base you’d forced it from your mind and got dressed, stealing a simple henley dress from Gawon’s closet upon realizing that you were not in the mood for sexy-cute like Somi had said the dress code was. Instead you opted for ‘hey, you can see my legs and that's good enough,’ and huffed your old leather jacket on top of it; the latter was sure to piss her off but she still owed you from the Mosquito Boy Incident, so she could kick rocks about it for all you cared. 

You had a feeling that no matter what you wore, tonight wasn’t going to be very sexy-cute at all.

The party is just getting into the swing of things when you make it upstairs. It’s like the explosion of a birthday surprise when you and the girls walk through the door. This party is technically a celebration, and you guess a lot of these people must’ve been in the Aegon audience without you knowing it, because you’re getting congratulations and kudos and pats on the back like you’ve just won an olympic medal.

But your pride is short lived, tainted by a bolt of nerves when you think you spot someone that looks like Donghyuck in your periphery. Where Hyuck is, Jeno will be.

It turns out to only be a very tall girl with a pixie cut who winks at you when you whirl your head to her, but the stress of it doesn't ebb away. God. Is the whole night going to be like this? Walking on pins and needles until he finds you?

“You know, new girl,” A voice starts at your side, startling you further, “Your ice breaker back at that my party could’ve been that you’re a kick-ass dancer, instead of that bullshit with the mosquitos.”

Wooyoung. Your friends are suddenly nowhere to be seen when your turn to him, clearly having fucked off into the mass the second alcohol became available, so it’s just the both of you hovering over by this snack table. Though this is only the second or third time you’ve interacted with him past a greeting (you see him sometimes on campus, and he always waves at you like you’re best friends when you pass each other), you’re actually rather soothed by his presence. 

“You wanted to know juicy secrets, not secret hobbies. If you asked me for an ice breaker and I told you I could dance, you would’ve kicked me out of that house.”

He laughs, a snickering sound, before eyeing two jello-shots a girl walks by with in her hands.

“Do a shot with me?” he pouts. “My friends are running late and I’m still painfully sober.”

A shot?  

...Hm. A shot. Inebriation. You’re not one to like straight liquor because the burn in your throat is often more than you think the gag is worth. But if you’re looking to relax sooner rather than later… the pain might not be without its merit. 

Liquid courage. Something you could definitely use right now, as skittish as you’re being. Maybe he’s onto something.

“Just one?” you pique, turning to survey the options. “Thought you were more hardcore than that, VP.”

One jello-shot quickly turns into four with Wooyoung involved, and your mouth is sweet with the taste of artificial dye by the time you actually spot Donghyuck, over by Somi’s balcony doors chatting up some pretty girl you recognize from your physical education class. The volleyball player. Xiaoting or something close, and you almost snort at the sight because she seems way out of his league. But he has a way with words that you guess you could be attractive when he wields it with flirtation in mind, instead of the intent to piss off like he always does with you.

The Smirnoff burning in your stomach must already be settling in because you only mildly bristle when you see him. Like you thought earlier: Hyuck is here, which means Jeno is here. And… and the Smirnoff must’ve already hit your brain, actually, because all of a sudden you’re feeling agitated and confrontational.

You don’t want to spend all night worrying about when he’s going to find you and drop the bomb. So what if he doesn’t like you! So what if he probably wants to forget the moment that happened out on that balcony never occurred at all? You lived your life without yearning over Jeno for years before you moved back here, so it won’t even be that hard to go cold-turkey when he says what he needs to and inevitably squashes the remainder of your heart in his fist. It’s fine. You’ll live.

You just need to rip it off like a bandaid first. And to do that?

“Hey, Woo, I think I need to go and look for somebody. You’re still down for that dance battle later?”

“I don’t play around with my challenges,” he says, grinning much too wide, “I’ll find you later, and then it’s on. Knock em’ dead, new girl.”

As bold as you suddenly are, you actually don’t want to go and interrupt whatever Donghyuck has going on just to ask him where Jeno is. So you’re on your own for a little, scanning the walls for him and the stupid clavicles poking out of his button-up, hair all windswept and eyes so dark. It’s nearly a minute of searching before you see something familiar— but it’s not exactly what you’re looking for.

Close enough, though. 

It seems like Na Jaemin has actually spotted you first, since he’s already heading towards you when you spot his head of pink darting through the crowd. You don’t fuss when he musses your hair and gasps over the competition, applauding you in that sickeningly earnest way he always has, since you’re used to his preening and compliments. Not to say you’re not appreciative. It always makes your face hot when he coos over you like this. But you’ve got a mission in mind, and fretting at him over the pouting and cheek-squeezing will get you nowhere.

“Yes, thank you, I did hear you cheering over everyone else at the end, no I wasn’t hiding my swag from you on purpose, thank you, you can stop pretending to cry now. Where is Jeno?”

The idea of you looking for Lee Jeno on purpose must startle him, because there’s a second after his clear offense at you brushing him off where he registers what you’re asking for and actually looks a little concerned. “Jeno? No-Jam? Why? Did he say something to you?”

“What? No, I just need to talk to him about something. Thought he’d be hanging around you.”

Imperceptibly, Jaemin lightens. 

“Oh. He’s downstairs hefting handles out of Somi’s car, because blondie forgot half the drinks in her trunk. He got volunteered by Chenle as Mr. Muscles and left with her like five minutes ago, so he should be back any minute.”

Damn it. Forlornly, you glance at the door, but there's nothing. No movement. Nada. There goes all your building bravado.

“But before he returns, young lady, should we talk about how that red tinge to your lips better be from the non-alcoholic jello-shots?”

Ah. Whoops. Not only no movement, but now you’ve gotten yourself trapped in the sights of Na Jaemin, who likes to pretend to be staunch on things like laws and teenage innocence and waiting to do things until the government says you’re allowed to. You constantly forget that you’re not yet the drinking age, because no college student handing out drinks at a party ever gives a fuck about the fact that you’re legally not quite legal yet. No other college student besides the one standing in front of you.

“You’ll stunt your growth if you drink before you’re supposed to!”

To this you glance at the cup he’s holding, clearly half full of something, and nearly go to laugh and ask him what his excuse is since he’s barely 21 himself, but then you think of something funnier. Without really thinking about it you snatch the cup from his hand and hork it down. Your eyes are locked with his the entire time so you get to see his surprise grow into shock, then expand into disbelief as you chug, and chug, and chug.

There’s a lot of… some peach flavored crap in here, burning like murder all the way down, to the point that you’re more bewildered than smug when the cup is finally drained because, “Fuck, Na, what is that shit? Are you trying to black out?” 

“Language!” he hisses, genuinely startled for the first time you’ve seen in a long time, which makes you laugh, “And of course not because that wasn’t mine, you little brat! I was holding that for Somi!"

“Oh,” you reply, only mildly shifted by this news. Sorry, Som. Now you know it must be peach Schnapps. She loves Schnapps. “What, so you’re not drinking tonight at all? Are you DD?”

“No! I’m not drinking, and I’m offended that you don’t already know I hate the taste of alcohol. Mark, who may I remind you is in this room and would’ve just shit himself if he’d seen what you just did, is playing designated driver tonight! He’s…”

And as he glances towards the kitchen you follow his gaze. You’re expecting to see your brother, most likely laughing over something his friends are saying, maybe even trying to dance-battle someone if he's having a particularly good time. Instead you see your brother chatting up Jeon Soyeon. 

Jeon… Soyeon. Nabi Bar, Jeon Soyeon. Who you haven’t spoken to or even seen since that awful night in Gangnam.

And you nearly gasp in terror at the sight.

Jaemin doesn't finish his sentence, and you dart your eyes to him when you realize this. He doesn’t look very pleased by what he’s seeing either, though you’re guessing for an entirely different reason than the one that’s just made you go cold.

“What?” you ask a little too quickly. The front door opens, which should be your cue to look for who’s just come in, but you can’t tear your eyes from the sight of Soyeon and Mark. What the fuck? What the fuck? “Do they know each other?” 

“Know each other?” Jaemin scoffs. “Hard to quantify.”

It would be very, very bad for you if they knew each other. Very bad. If not already clear, Mark still had no clue you weren’t where you said you were on the night of Nabi Bar. If she happened to mention your involvement in that shity, shitty idea, you had no doubt that Mark would go all holier-than-thou on you in front of all these people, and that you’d probably have to dive off of the balcony to escape the reaming.

He doesn’t look particularly comfortable, near pressed up against kitchen island because Soyeon is so close to him, hand rubbing at the back of his neck in that way you’re well aware means he’s getting flustered; but you see him laugh at something she says in the next second, and it doesn’t seem like his fake laugh. Mark’s fake laugh is terrible, and even from a distance you can spot it like the flashing lights on an ambulance, a beacon of distress just the same. So he’s laughing for real, at something… Soyeon is saying?

But you hardly recall her being very funny. 

“What does that mean, hard to quantify? Do they have history?”

“Something like that,” he murmurs. “Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about. Anyway, I think Jeno is—”

“You never look at anyone with any kind of attitude, and just now you rolled your eyes at her.”

“I didn’t roll my eyes. I blinked. For a long time. Something in my eye. Dusty in here.”

“Somi has this place deep cleaned twice a week.”

He stares at you like he’s begging you to drop it. You stare back, unwilling. “You know, Na, the longer you stall, the more time that all this illegal alcohol in my blood has to make me more bold and reckless and unruly. If I don’t get an answer from you I might just go over there and ask her myself. How do they know each other?”

You’re bluffing, of course— there’s no way you’re about to go over there just to see what they’re talking about when you could safely squeeze that information out of Jaemin instead. In reality, you were only pressing because you wanted to know if they were close enough for Soyeon to know you and Mark were related. If not? Then perfect! You’d forget it all and be on your merry way, reverting back to your original plan of finding Jeno, because there’d be no chance Soyeon could spill the beans. 

But if Soyeon does know? You might have to leave this party a little earlier than scheduled. 

“You want the whole, grown-up truth?” Jaemin finally relents.

“Might I remind you for the hundredth time that I’m only a year younger than you?”

“A year and a half,” he acquiesces with a sigh, “And Jeon Soyeon may or may not have slept with your brother to get him to do their midterm project last year.”

It comes out like he’s reading the headline from a newspaper and you made the mistake of swallowing right before he opens his mouth, choking violently on your own spit. He pats you on the back as you hack and cough before continuing.

“None of us are really sure about exactly what really happened because Mark kind of shut down after, wouldn’t tell us anything. But it was pretty clear he liked her before. She’s kinda his type, you know?” 

Edgy, pretty, and fucking evil, yeah, after having to chase a few of them away in high school you’re well aware of his type! This was not what you wanted to know about when you asked if they were close! What the hell?

“He told us they’d gone all the way right before she asked him to do their entire music production project because she was too busy caring for her sick little sister. He, being the bleeding heart he is, pretty much refused to listen to us about how convenient the timing was; he even got mad when Chenle did some sleuthing and found out that Soyeon’s parents facebook, which was filled to the brim of photos of their family, didn’t have any trace of another kid in their midst besides her. Wouldn’t believe us until after the project was turned in, when he tried to meet up with her for weeks and she ghosted him every time.”

He frowns. “At the end of it, he wasn’t… It wasn’t good. He was pretty crushed.”

Now you regret chugging his drink for fun. Even before it you’d been feeling further than chill, pleasant and buzzing from your shots, well prepared for whatever hell was to arise with Jeno. Now you felt loose; too loose, fingertips tingling at your sides because of this news, heart pounding in your chest, body so warm from the alcohol that you felt like Jaemin would hiss if he’d laid a finger on your skin.

To play games with you, that’s one thing. But Soyeon has laid her hands on your brother?

“And, knowing all of that,” you say slowly, clearly, “You’re still letting him sit there and talk to her?”

“I want to kick her away,” Jaemin says flatly. “I’d be lying if I said I trust that girl as far as I can throw her. But it’s not really up to us to get involved.”

“Who is us?”

“His friends? I mean he was pretty clear when it happened that he did not want to talk about it—”

You bark a laugh, but there’s no humor to it at all. “So he can pout and gripe about the sanctity of discussing your problems with people, the embarrassing, the horrifying, but when it comes to him he gets to keep secrets? Forget how hypocritical that is, you guys are listening?”

Jaemin, finally, seems to catch the heat in your words. “Uh. He told… I mean, before you get all up in arms, she may be over there apologizing for all we know. Maybe she’s repenting.”

You both stare at her as she tips her head back in laughter, the salacious flirty kind where you’re more focused on being attractive than actually enjoying the joke, before she puts her hand on his chest in a, ‘Wow, you’re so funny, take me now,’ kind of way, leaning in to say something to him that she clearly doesn’t want anyone else to hear. Every hair on your body stands up when Mark doesn’t push her away.

He’s not seriously buying her shit again, is he? 

“Jaemin, are you willing to bet your life on that?”

“What?”

“Everything you just said about Soyeon. You know that for fact?”

“Well, no, Mark didn’t actually tell us about it so I can never be sure, but… but with what we could gather, it was pretty cut and dry. Chenle actually also found out she had a boyfriend at the same time she did all that stuff with Mark. We just couldn’t bear to tell him that after the fact, so we never… Hey, where—”

You’re sober enough to make it through the throng of people without stumbling, but not sober enough to fully anticipate what you’re really about to do. The goal is just to separate them, somehow, to get that harlot away from your brother, and then you’ll go and deal with Jeno. If people greet you as you pass you don’t hear or see it; all you can grasp is her, touching him, laughing with him, cheating, lying, people-using—

“Mark,” you nearly hiss, “I need to talk to you. Now.”

Mark jumps a foot in the air when you grab him but Soyeon, for some reason, doesn’t look surprised to see you in the slightest. She does, however, raise a sharp blonde eyebrow at your tone.

“What,” Mark splutters, “Right now?”

“Yeah,” Soyeon sighs, continuing to trail her eyes up and down Mark’s face instead of looking at you, “The grown-ups are talking, sweetheart. Can’t you give us a second?”

Mark turns back to the sensual softness of her voice like a moth to a flame, and you want to smack him. “No. Not a second now, not a second later, not a second tomorrow or forever. Now, Mark.”

And that was where you made the mistake that turned this whole night sour. Only when Soyeon realizes it’s her you have a problem with, catching on from the agitation in your tone that you’re not just here to bother Mark for fun, does she slide her unreadable gaze to you. 

“You know I haven’t seen you in a while, Little Lee.”

“For the better,” you mutter. “Seriously—”

“I was so surprised when Yuqi told me you two were related.” 

She’s talking to Mark but looking at you, eyes squinted a little, like someone analyzing a germ under a microscope. So she does know. Great. “I couldn’t believe that this girl was the same little star you used to tell me about when I met her. She’s grown up a lot, you know? Doesn’t take after you at all, Markie.”

“Soyeon,” you say again, “Let him go.”

“Why? So you can keep throwing your tantrum? Every time you open your mouth it gets harder and harder to see the resemblance. When you’re so…”

She doesn’t need to say it, and it’s honestly probably better that she didn’t, because you would’ve leapt at her if she’d gone as far as she’d been intending to dig with that comment. You’re aware you don’t resemble Mark, physically or otherwise— in accomplishment, in talent, in patience, in perfect unmarred reputation. You’re well fucking aware. 

“Soyeon,” Mark finally says, thankfully lurching a little in your direction like her evil witch's spell is finally wearing off, “I don’t think there’s any need for that, what the hell is going on? Do you two know each other?”

Soyeon opens her eyes comically wide. “You don’t know?”

And you feel Mark stop. What the hell are you doing, you want to scream. Why are you even pausing for this bullshit? Come on! But he doesn’t. He stands there and he stares at her, as if searching her face for any sign of truth, and Soyeon takes this as her cue.

“Little star is a big girl now! Her own fake ID, clinging along with her baby bottle to any club the adults want to go to, even catching her own ride home with any wasted guy that smiles in her direction! Don’t you live together? What a handful she must be if she can sneak out under your nose, Markie.”

The blood rushing in your ears makes it hard to tell if it’s only you that’s losing your hearing or if the rest of the people hanging around in the kitchen really have quieted to watch the rising altercation, but you don’t dare move your eyes from the girl to check. The baby bottle comment, outing your fake ID, all of that is rage inducing on its own— but it’s a cold, stomach twisting madness that grabs you when you latch on to the last part of what she’s just said. Catching your own ride home?

Was she referring to Yoobin?

Your fingers unfurl from Mark’s jacket.

“What do you mean, catch my own ride?”

Soyeon laughs. Under normal circumstances, it would be a pretty sound. “Did you think we didn’t see you leave? Blowing up our phones like there was some big emergency— We sent that guy out there to keep you the company you wanted so much, God, we got tired of babysitting you. You stopped calling and neither of you came back inside. What, cause your brother is here you’re going to try and soften it up now, huh? Tell us all you didn’t go home with that drunkard, when you love to tell people you’re no stranger to a bar?”

Yoobin, who grabbed you, touched you, tried to drive you home in his wasted state with clear intentions on what he wanted in return.

Yoobin, who Soyeon and Yuqi and their friends had sent, knowing you were panicked, knowing he made you uncomfortable, knowing you were looking for them.

Soyeon who stopped hearing from you and laughed it off. Soyeon who stopped hearing from you for days and didn’t bat an eye, knowing what she’d left you alone with.

Soyeon, who’s straight, pretty nose cracks under your fist in the same way Yoobin’s did, except this time you don’t run away when she screams and collapses and you realize what you’ve done. Except this time you hit her again— or you try to at least, lunging for her with your eyes ablaze, unsure what you’ll do when you get there but 100% sure it’ll hurt worse than a bloody fucking nose— but don’t quite get there, because someone has lifted you off the ground, two iron-bar arms wrapped like vices around your ribs, the worlds tightest back hug.

In your right mind you might’ve placed the sandalwood and the bergamot, or recognized the rolled up sleeves of his oversized button up, ivory and forest green, but as it stood—

As it stood, as you shouted and thrashed and fought, you only made out one thing.

Mark Lee, your own brother, helping Jeon Soyeon to her feet, two hands firm on her arms to hold her up; his surprised voice the last thing you hear before Lee Jeno hauls you out of that house.

“Wow, Soyeon. Is that true?”

(”Rockstar is going to wallop that girl,” Donghyuck mutters, staring at you like they all are from behind the pillar separating the kitchen from the living room, alerted to the worsening confrontation by a sheepish Jaemin.

“No she won’t," Jaemin tries, clearly feeling guilty, "She knows better than that.”

“She’s gone still. And I’ve never, ever seen her eyes that wide before.”

“That’s control. It’s restraint. She’s not going to hit her.”

Renjun, then, “If you really believe that then why do you look so nervous?”

“Her fist is balled up,” Jisung comments quietly.

“It’s restraint!”

“You weren’t there the day that she knocked the socks off of Park Gyubin, right? When he tried lifting her friend’s skirt up in the cafeteria?”

“She…” Jaemin glances at Donghyuck, “She’s tried to fight men before?”

“Tried to? I thought she was going to kill him. Y/N hit him so hard he had to get his retainer refitted. She’s got a right hook like her brothers. I bruise when she hits me, you know.”

Renjun again, “Why do you sound so proud of that?”

“She… Well, no, look, look! She let go of Mark. They have to be deescalating, she—”

“Does deescalating usually involve getting closer to the object of your anger?” Jisung asks.

“She—”

“Here it comes,” Chenle announces excitedly.

And then Jeno is across the room.)

Jeno realizes before you do that you’re not going back home tonight.

His apartment looks the same. Obviously. It’s only been three weeks since you were last here. Like before, Jeno doesn’t bother with the lights, kicking his shoes off in the entryway the same way, except this time you have two shoes of your own to place next to them instead of the sad and lonely single. Three weeks ago, but it feels like it’s only been a day or two since you did this whole song and dance; following him to the bathroom, sitting on the counter as he stoops under to rummage through his first-aid bin, gritting your teeth when he rubs your knuckles with the antiseptic, smiling weakly when he apologizes for the sting.

You’d cried in his car.

When Jeno carried you out of Somi’s apartment you thought the stinging in your eyes was just discombobulated rage. But when he set you down on your feet in the elevator and you began to come down from the adrenaline high, the burning just intensified as you understood what just happened. You’d only been able to keep the tears at bay until he told you to put your seatbelt on in his passenger seat and it all became too real. 

Though you’re not sober enough right now for it to feel like a problem yet, you know you’ll want to kill yourself tomorrow for allowing yourself to devolve in front of him like that no matter the circumstance. In the moment, you weren’t even entirely sure what you were crying about. Was it the craze of fury wearing off after punching Soyeon, and the jitters it left behind? Or the fact that even when Jeno was tugging you towards the elevator up there, you’d stood and waited for Mark to follow for nearly an entire minute, just for him to never come out? 

You’d like to chalk it up to adrenaline and inebriation, but deep down you knew exactly what it was that had your eyes brimming with those tears. 

He’d chosen Soyeon. The girl who’d lied to him, cheated with him, fucked him over for a grade and left you for dead on the streets of Gangnam, and he’d stayed in that house with her instead of coming out to check on you. And you weren’t really one to catastrophize, but how couldn’t that signal the definitive end of Mark putting up with your shit? The nail in the coffin of his patience with you?

You knew things had been rough lately with you moving in, the thread of butting heads over little things like curfews and the people you hung out with, but you hadn’t thought your relationship had deteriorated to the point that he’d ever… that he’d ever choose someone else. You’re his sister. No matter how mad he is, he’s supposed to choose you. 

But he didn't. And in Lee Jeno’s passenger seat, like a giant baby, you cried about it. 

In proper Y/N fashion the only thing that had chuffed you into sucking it all up and swallowing it into the depths of your soul never to be seen again, was Jeno’s building appearing on the horizon. The threat of him asking you if you’re alright and actually having to confront those feelings was terrifying enough to jar you out of your self pity.

But he hadn’t asked you about your red eyes. He hadn’t said anything, actually. He just tugged you out of the car and into the elevator. Herded you into his apartment. And tipped his head towards his bathroom just like before, except this time he was smiling. In the soft, polite kind of way that let you know he was well aware of what just transpired in his car, but was simply... letting it be.

(And you always knew Jeno was rather observant. But man, the thought behind that smile could’ve made you burst into tears all over again.)

On the counter, holding out your hand for the steps that would never come, you blinked back to the present when Jeno stopped at the healing salve. You’d been waiting for him to bust out the gauze again, already lamenting the next week of your life with the itchy fabric tight around your wrist, but all Jeno does is raise an eyebrow at you when you don’t hop off of the sink after he puts the kit away.

“What are you waiting for?” he asks.

You blink down at your hand, shiny with the balm, and then back up at him. “The rest of it.”

“The wrap? I didn’t think you needed it.”

“But that’s what you did last time I was here.”

“Because the last time you were here you didn’t know how to punch someone properly. It looked like you got her the right way this time. When I was tugging at that wrist in the elevator just now you hardly seemed to notice, when you could barely close your fist a few weeks ago.”

…Oh. Only as he mentions it do you roll your hand around in its socket, flexing your fingers under the bathroom light. Your knuckles look like shit, the newly forming bruises and angry skin, but it doesn’t actually ache like it did that night with Yoobin.

Well you’ll be damned. So straightening your wrist really does work.

“Oh,” you mumble. “I guess I don’t. Wasn’t really thinking about it.”

“Of course you weren’t. Probably thinking about what you wanted to eat, right?”

“What I— What?”

What you wanted to eat? When did you discuss that you were hungry?

“Heard your stomach grumbling in the car, so I’m assuming you haven’t eaten since before the competition. There’s a pizza place down the street that I think you’d like, a jajangmyeon shop too, but their delivery takes ages. It’s up to you.”

You stare at him, clearly not following. Jeno is relaying this to you like tonight was planned, as if it was always in the cards for you to be hanging out at his place tonight like a couple of pals, leaning against the door with his arms crossed, the perfect picture of normalcy. He thinks you’re going to be here long enough to eat? He’s not planning to have you shipped out of here in the next half hour?

But then you realize that there isn’t really another place for you to be shipped to. Mark’s apartment is… not really an option. The idea of going back there tonight almost makes your stomach roll, actually.

But if you don’t go back, that doesn’t leave much in the realm of locations to hide out at. Somi’s brother is coming home tonight, she’d squealed as much this morning, and considering how rare it is that he’s not busy in other countries you abhor the idea of intruding on their reunification. You don’t have many other friends here that you’re close enough with to just show up at their place at 10PM unannounced, not that you’d want to given that your little spat with Soyeon is probably all over everyones instagram stories right now, and is surely the only thing they’ll want to talk about.

You don’t have very many options right now. And Jeno probably knew that from the moment he decided to bring you here. 

“Thinking pretty hard over there,” Jeno hums, “for what is supposed to be a two choice question. Unless you don’t want either?”

“Pizza is… fine.”

“Just fine, or actually good? I can check to see if there’s any—”

“It’s good, Lee.”

He smiles like he’s got you in the bag, and then stands up straight. “I’ll order it then.”

You nod emptily and make moves to follow him out of the bathroom, right on his tail, which is why you nearly crash into him when he whirls back around to stop you. “Oh. Almost forgot.”

“What? Forgot what?"

But you only grow more confused when Jeno speeds off towards his room without replying. There’s a creak and a shuffle, doors opening and closing before Jeno returns with a bundle of fabric bunched up in his arms.

“Can’t imagine it’ll be very comfortable to hang out in that dress all night.” 

He holds out the mass; what appears to be a heather gray hoodie and black sweatpants that, even bunched up like this, still look miles too long for you. He sees you eyeing it and you fear he’s going to do something awful, like politely offer to go and get you something else as if he hasn’t already done a hundred other things for you tonight, so you quickly oblige. Once you relieve him of the pile he laughs, tells you he’s going to put the order in for the pizza, and closes the door on the way out.

You stand there unmoving for much too long, the heap of fabric clutched to your chest.

There’s so much to unpack. Being here again. The fact that he was supposed to break your heart today instead of doing all of... this. How casual he’s being about it all. The brother-slash-bestfriend shaped elephant in the room. The clothes.

But, for the sake of not collapsing under the weight of all of that turmoil, you decide to just focus on the latter; the most immediate and least heart wrenching of the bunch. His clothes. You’re going to wear his clothes. 

Yet another of your old dreams coming to fruition in this apartment. Lucky you.

Jeno is laying across the long part of the couch when you exit the bathroom, footsteps making no noise because you’re padding along on top of the ankle hems. He’s dressed differently too; gone is the jeans and the ivory button up, in its place a black long sleeve and navy blue sweatpants just like yours, except his actually fit. He’s texting furiously on his phone when you round the corner, eyebrows furrowed with something like irritation before he sees your looming figure in the corner of his eye and looks up.

"I put an X-Men movie into the DVD player," he announces, squinting back down to his screen, "Couldn't think of a better time than now to finally get into it, since you'll be here to explain all the things I don't understand..."

But he trails off as he stares at his phone, eyebrows furrowing at something before he frowns and stands up. The look is gone when you shuffle towards the couch and he looks up again, smiling at you like you like nothing is wrong, before he says, "I need to make a call though. Start the movie, yeah? I'll be back before things get interesting."

You stare at him. Probably shouldn't miss the opening scene if you really want to 'get into it', you nearly say. But you've been on this earth for long enough to recognize when someone wants a little privacy.

You want to ask if it's Mark. If he's the one Jeno had been messaging back so agitatedly just now. But the fear of it not being him, Jeno instead just trying to sort something out with like, a truant project partner or something, makes you stuff it down again. It'll just make you look even more pitiful.

"Sure. Most of the intro is fan service anyway."

He opens his mouth like he's about to say something else but then his phone starts to ring and he only smiles tightly at you instead. Then he's gone down the corridor, into his bedroom, and when the ringtone finally stops you can barely hear his voice much less make out what he's saying. Hm.

A different day and you might've snuck off after him to eavesdrop just to see for yourself. But after tonight?

You simply watch him go, and then tumble onto his couch with the exhaustion of someone who's just run up and down the building a dozen times.

You don't even have the strength to reach over for the TV remote; you just lay there and revel in the softness of the cushions, and at how tired you suddenly feel. Rehearsal all morning, giving it your all on stage, the energy-leeching atmosphere of a house party, the alcohol sagging through your veins. Not to mention the emotional confusion. Crying always takes it out of you.

So it's no wonder that you forgo turning the movie on to just take a moment to breathe in the pleasantly dark living room, closing your eyes for what you intended to be a brief second, just to gather the last bits of your patience and sanity for the night ahead... only to fall victim to what happens to most people when they say they're just resting their eyes.

You fall asleep. 

At least for a little while, you do. A brief, dreamless, blissful unconsciousness.

It’s so blissful in fact, that when you’re startled back to life by a knock at the front door a few minutes later— blinking the haze out of your eyes and seeing Jeno’s ceiling instead of your own, understanding with a sinking hopelessness that you’re not waking from a nightmare, that all of tonight has really happened— the dread is almost crushing when it all comes back.

But there isn't even any time to mourn. Because you realize that if someone's just knocked on the door, like the good homeowner he is, Jeno will be out here any second now to open it. He'll come out here and he'll see you and you'll be sucked right back into that nightmare, pretending like everything is fine when you both know that tonight was supposed to go so, so differently. Sitting next to each other and eating next to each other and attempting small talk for the sake of keeping things civil until you can escape this place in ten hours.

The idea almost gives you hives. You can't do it. You can't. There has to be another way. What if you make something up? A sore throat? A sudden headache?

But there's no time to think of anything fancy because in the next second Jeno's bedroom door clicks open down the hall, and panic flies up in your throat.

So you do the only think you can fathom. Before he can come around the corner and see you freaking out, you fling yourself back over and pretend to still be dead asleep.

As foolish as you immediately feel, it must work at least a little bit; you hear him come into the living room, hesitate, and then continue on past the couch on lighter steps as if worried about making too much noise. You even steady your breathing when he’s opening the door for the pizza guy— smooth inhale, smooth exhale, spaced just far enough to replicate what someone sounds like when they’ve been out for a while.

Shit. Will this actually work?

When he closes the door and the room falls to silence your heart picks up a little bit. What is he doing? Is he staring at you, trying to see if you’re faking?

Is he wondering if he should wake you up to eat? Oh, God! What if—

“Are you up?” he whispers. And you almost choke trying to swallow down the instinctual response that rises in your throat.

With surprisingly great effort, you do nothing. Say nothing. You don’t even stir. You just pray to whatever God is out there that Jeno will take the hint, eat his pizza at the kitchen island, leave you out here and go to bed. You get excited when you hear his steps again and think he’s going to pass the couch straight, but of course a second later you feel the couch dip somewhere off behind your back and you nearly curse.

“Guess not,” Jeno mumbles. "I forgot that you knock out so easily."

A few more seconds of what feels like an endless quiet, only his shuffling making sound; through your squeezed-shut eyes you see the light of the TV flicker like he’s just changed the channel, and with it you hear what must be the intro to a gameshow or something— excited chatter, ringing bells, audience cheers. But the volume is turned down so low that it feels like the show is playing in another room. Is he keeping the volume low because of you?

Is he… going to stay out here? 

“So you won’t mind if I think out loud,” he says suddenly, and your eyes nearly fly open in surprise. What? 

But he sounds serious. “Like a test run, almost. For what I wanted to talk about earlier at Aegon. Since I still don’t really know what the hell I’m going to say even after losing sleep over it all week, and I know you’ll try to stop me if you’re awake. I should just try it now, right?”

Try it... now?

Your fake deep-breathing almost hitches in panic when you realize what he’s getting at. Sweet God, please, no. What he wanted to talk about earlier? He wants to get into that now?

“Jaemin scolded me for springing it on you like that after your showcase, by the way. I didn’t realize that I might’ve cornered you until later and I’m sorry about that. I just really, really wanted to talk. Because I didn’t before, and everything got all…” he sighs, heavily. “I’m thankful that you told me to get lost earlier, because I think I can explain it better, like this. I can start from the beginning. I know how thorough you are about things like this.”

You hear the beep of a digital watch somewhere in his house as your face scrunches up in confusion. It's officially midnight, if the watch is making noise to denote the hour, but the realization of the time only comes second to the slow bewilderment slipping through your gloom.

From the beginning? The beginning of what? What the hell does any of that have to do with firmly rejecting you?

“Before we met, because of the way Mark talked about you, I had this idea in my head that you’d be some sort of perfect, flawless angel. That you’d be a little version of him; neat and proper and just a little bit naive, too nice for your own good. A rule follower.”

He laughs at this, a genuine laugh at the memory, and your frown deepens in embarrassment. “Then I actually laid my own eyes on you for the first time, and I realized I couldn’t have been more off.”

You remember it clearly, the first time you’d made a fool out of yourself in front of him and the rest of Mark’s friends. Fourteen years old, running inside the house after walking home from class with your own crew; you’d completely forgotten that you were supposed to bring your skateboard and a change of clothes to school because you all planned to ride around the park that day, the first warm afternoon after a mushy spring, and they said if you didn’t come back out in sixty seconds or less they’d leave you in the dust. So you stormed into the house, past the living room with all of them in it without even a glance or greeting since you hadn’t realized it wasn’t just your brother in there, hurled off your uniform in favor of your outfit staples at the time— an oversized tee that you stole from Mark, hand-me-down cargo shorts that also came from your brother’s closet, and your most cherished possessions: a Yankees baseball cap and your beat-up blue Nikes. 

But you couldn’t find your skateboard and the clock was running out, so you howled down the staircase, “If you moved my skateboard again from where I put it I’m going to kill you in your sleep!” only for Mark to shout back up, “It’s a tripping hazard! It’s in the hallway closet! And aren’t you grounded right now? Where are you even going? Does mom know?”

You hadn’t replied. Just snatched the board from where he said he’d stashed it, barreled back down the stairs, and was fully preparing to toss your brother some half-assed explanation, but then you’d seen him. Seen them. Mark’s new school friends, all lounging on your living room couch, staring at you as if you’d come into the room with a bomb. Lee Jeno (who’s name you’d only later find out) appeared the most stunned by your tornado-like appearance. 

You could only imagine what they were seeing. Some rowdy tomboy, technically on house arrest but running out to wreak havoc on the town regardless, threatening to kill people in their sleep for tidying up. Exaggerated, obviously, but you remember being mortified halfway to Sunday by how cute they all were and that this was their first introduction to you— and in that mortification, sprinting out of the house without telling your brother anything at all.

You’d gotten a good scolding for that later.

“And it’s going to sound kind of stupid,” Jeno continues, and if you didn’t know any better you’d think you heard the smile in his voice, “But because of that, I got this idea in my head that Mark must’ve only been seeing you through those rose-tinted glasses. The type every older brother has for every younger sister, the ones that make everything they do look cute and miraculous and perfect even if they’re clearly evil to everyone else. Not saying I thought you were secretly some sort of demon or anything either, ‘cause I know you’d roll your eyes at me right now if you could. Just that the girl I saw that day was nowhere near the delicate little thing he’d described. And I got... curious. I started wondering what you were actually like.”

Your face is getting hot again. You’ve never, ever heard him speak this much in one sitting, and the idea of him ever paying this much attention to you is mind boggling. But you don’t let yourself lean into whatever feeling of hope is whistling through your head. 

So what if he made a game out of trying to separate your real traits from the things Mark got wrong about you six years ago? Sometimes you liked to make up season-long dramas about strangers you saw on campus. It doesn’t mean anything now. 

You want to scrunch into a ball. You aren’t sure how much more of this monologue you can handle, even despite the consequences of rolling over and breaking the facade just to get him to stop. The heat in your face is spreading to your neck, your stomach, every inch of your skin, it’s making your stomach churn with discomfort. 

“But then the next year you came to our school,” Jeno says with finality, like this is supposed to be some important distinction. “And it stopped being as casual of an interest. The months went by and at some point I stopped looking for you just to see if you were doing something Mark didn’t know about, and started looking for you just because I wanted to know what you were doing. We’d come over for movie night and while Hyuck and Jae argued for hours about what they did and didn’t want to watch, I’d be wondering if I’d get to see you. You probably won’t remember this, but one of those nights I even ordered an extra curry bowl just so I’d have an excuse to knock on your door to tell you about it. And I thought that was a normal thing to do.” 

Jesus Christ. Do you remember? Of course you remember! You’d been reading at your desk with your headphones in, which meant Jeno had to come all the way into your room to get your attention— tapping the side of your earbud with two gentle fingers, laughing all crescent-eyed at you when you yelped in surprise. The sight of him in your room for the first time was like a grenade going off in your tweenaged mind; you’d had to calm down for nearly an entire minute before going downstairs to get your food.

“I thought it was just Mark rubbing off on me. He cared so much about you that I thought my sudden interest was simply overprotection by relation— that he was the reason why I couldn’t stop looking for you. ‘Cause in my mind it couldn't be anything else but brotherly. Mark was pretty clear about what he thought of the people that liked you so I knew it couldn’t be that; I wasn’t stupid enough to let myself be interested in you like that. Right?” 

He laughs again, but it doesn’t sound nearly as sweet this time. “I’m rambling, huh?”

Yes, you are. You are. 

“I’ll cut to the ending then,” he replies like he’s read your mind. “I realized I did in fact ‘like you like that’, at our graduation.”

And your eyes pop open. It’s completely involuntary, and if you’d been facing him you would have been screwed. But you’re still looking deep into the cushions of the black couch; wide eyes staring into a deep, dark, nothing.

“I hid behind that brotherly excuse for three years. My eyes followed you in the hallway because I wanted to make sure you were okay like Mark would’ve wanted me to. I offered to drive you home from school when he was busy because that’s what Mark would’ve asked me to do anyway. Everything I wanted to do I told myself I was doing because I was just a good friend. You know?” A beat passes before he hums to himself. “But I guess you don’t, actually. Because you liked me authentically, like you do with everything. The night of our graduation, the backyard barbecue your parents threw for us. You remember that, right?”

Duh. You’d bawled your eyes out on the front porch halfway through because only then did it fully sink in that they’d all be leaving you behind, these losers you swore you didn’t even like, before wiping your face and moodily rejoining the celebration.

“Jaemin and Donghyuck were having fun like it was their last day on earth. Even Mark didn’t seem too worried about the fact that we’d be leaving our whole lives behind in a few weeks when we drove off to SNU. I asked him if he was going to miss anything and he listed a dozen things, the friends of ours that were going to different colleges, his parents cooking, his backyard, his bedroom, his electric keyboard. And I remember feeling frozen when he didn’t mention you. In hindsight I know that it was probably because he’d still be coming back home every break, and you had a whole year of high school to finish so it wasn’t like you were going anywhere, but at the moment I felt like someone just yanked the blanket off of me. Three years of pretending and it only took one conversation for it to smash through all of that and hit me like a truck. If Mark isn’t worried about it, why the hell has the idea of leaving you here been haunting me for the last week and a half?”

Oh.

“It was then, I think. That I went, ‘Ah. So this hasn’t all been because of Mark, then,’ and everything I’d ever done under the guise of brotherly obligation popped into context all at once. And as if it wasn’t enough being in my own head, I was still in the middle of talking to Mark as I realized that not only did I like you more than I’d ever liked anyone— I was looking directly at the person who would surely strangle me to death if he ever found out that I liked you more than I’d ever liked anyone. So I pretended it never happened. I said ‘yeah, me too,’ the party ended, I went home, the summer went on, and before I knew it I was on campus and had a million other things to worry about. I saw how well you seemed to be doing when Mark would show me your Instagram posts, how much fun you were having, and I let that make me feel better about being such a coward. Over time, without you around, I convinced myself that things were better like this. That it never would have worked out anyway.”

There’s a moment of silence so utterly long that for a moment you genuinely think that this is going to be it. That he’s going to have said all of that and just… sighed, gotten up, and gone to sleep, leaving you alone to be in misery over what you’ve just heard until morning.

But that’s not it. He’s got a few more words for you. The worst of them all. A string of syllables at first, ones that instantly shatter every bit of emotional resistance you’ve built for yourself these last few days— and then a sentence that has your blood turning to ice in your veins when you realize what it means.

“But then you came back to Seoul,” Jeno started simply, “And a lot of things I thought I knew for sure don’t feel quite as concrete anymore.”

You inhaled. 

You exhaled. 

And tried to understand what the fuck that last part was supposed to mean.

But then before you could he continued on, his voice soft, casual, innocent. Too innocent. “Like how I used to be sure that you snored when you were sleeping,” he murmured. “Has it been so long that I've forgotten? Or are you not actually asleep, Rockstar?”

[♥︎]: and there it is, folks! please leave a like if you enjoyed! it REALLY gives me the motivation to work on this faster!

[sweetadonisbutbetter]

Can I have a lmk Wukong x sick!FEM reader?

OHH MY GODD YES ☹️☹️☹️ my first ever husband in LMK yes i would please taking this and grovelling at the ground like a mad man. it has been a while since I have watch LMK so i apologize if he is OOC ☹️☹️

Can you get off me? I'm dying. | Sun Wukong x Sick!Fem Reader

relationship: romantic Warnings: mentions of throw up, reader being sick

You didn’t think that you were going to get sick. From friends around you canceling plans to the strangers around you apologizing for their slowness. It seemed with the changing of the seasons, everyone was getting sick. For a while, you thought you and your boyfriend were safe, being secluded in the mountains super far away from the city made it hard for either of you to get sick. However, when MK arrived for training, sneezing a little more than usual, your hopes of not getting sick plummeted down the drain. Once you accepted that you would get sick, you made Wukong get you stuff to prepare. 

You stocked up on copious amounts of cough medicine, allergy pills, tissues, teas, soups, and anything else you thought you would need. You just wish it wasn’t this bad.

Panting over the toilet, you wipe away any throw-up that fell onto your chin using your other hand to flush it, not being able to stomach the look of it. You stand up slowly, afraid of falling since you are already feeling dizzy. At a full stand, you made your way to your sink to wash your face and hands. The cool water felt much colder against your warm face. Sighing in relief, you stand at the sink for a moment, letting the sink run as it touches your hands.

You couldn’t help but think about how shitty you feel. You felt both hot and had the shivers. You felt so lightheaded and your head was hurting so bad that you just wanted to lay down under your blankets. Your legs and arms felt like jelly from your muscles growing weak. Your nose was stuffed to all hell and you had to breathe through your mouth, leaving your lips chapped and throat dry. 

If someone walked in on you, they probably would have thought you were dying. 

You feel your knees go out under you, your body reaching its limit for the amount of standing you could handle for today, snapping you out of your thoughts. You turn off the water and go to a full stand, looking at yourself through the mirror. Even from a glance, someone can tell you felt like shit. 

Somehow your eyes look like you get 30 minutes of sleep every night, eye bags so dark and heavy. Your normally natural and done hair looks like you haven’t taken care of it in weeks. Your skin was looking paler while your nose was rosey. 

“I feel and look like shit.” You murmur to no one in particular. You bring a hand to your face, pulling down on your face a bit, opening one eye a bit more. Sighing, you dropped your hand down to your side and left the bathroom to head to your shared bedroom. Entering your room, you didn’t even think twice before collapsing on your bed. Reaching for your phone on the bedside table, having left it there after you hurriedly ran to throw up, you mindlessly scrolled on your socials. After a while you began to feel sleepy, so you put on a random video and got comfortable, promptly knocking out.

─── ⋆⋅ ☼ ⋅⋆ ───

You woke up hot and suffocating as if you were wrapped in weighted 12 blankets stuffed with rocks. You try to shift the weight off you, trying to catch your breath. However, it seemed to have other intentions as you felt arms and something else wrap around you. The feeling of something slim wrapping around your waist told you all you needed to know.

“Ugh…Wukong, please get off me.” You groan and try to push him off. He shakes his head, which was buried into your chest, and holds you tighter. You lift your head to look at him, only seeing the mess of golden fur that was on the top of his head. He also lifts his face from your chest, and smiles up at you, before his smile drops.

“How are you feeling, peach-Holy shit, you look terrible.” He states bluntly. Rolling your eyes, your head dropped to your pillow as you put a hand on your face. 

“Thanks.” You tell your boyfriend sarcastically. “I also feel it.”

He doesn’t say anything for a moment as both stay where you are. You sniffle, attempting to hold back any mucus that was trying to escape,  and you feel Wukong loosen his grip. Thinking that he was listening to you, you lift your hand and notice that he was leaving the room. You take a big sigh of relief, happy now that your heavy-ass boyfriend is no longer suffocating your body. However, you were now feeling way colder with the absence of his body heat, so you grasped at your sheets and wrapped them around you. After a while, you feel yourself begin to fall asleep again.

Before Wukong burst into the room, bags of takeout in his hands. Startled by the sudden noise, you shoot up out of bed and look at your boyfriend like he is crazy (he is). He doesn’t say anything, rather making his way to his side of the bed and taking a seat.

“Did you just get that?” You ask him as he begins to unpack the food. 

“Duh.” He says, pulling out a large tub and looking at it closely before handing it to you. You take it from his hand and look at it. The warm tub had Pigsy’s restaurant logo on it. You look at him again as he hands you another thing. This looks more like a thermos, confusing you even greater. 

“What did you even get?” You ask, turning the cup to inspect it, trying to figure out what he got you. You hear him huff before he tells you.

“Pigsy was the one who made it for you. All I told him was that you were feeling ill.” You look at him with a look. 

“You didn’t ask?”

“No. He was making it free of charge.”

“Okay…What is with the other boxes?”

“Oh. These are for me. I got hungry while I was waiting.” Wukong says before smiling at you, his tail curling a bit. You roll your eyes and adjust yourself to sit upright comfortably. Placing the thermos down on the bedside table, you open the tub and see that it is filled with chicken congee. Your stomach rumbles and grumbles, causing you to realize that you are running on an empty stomach. Mentally thanking Pigsy, you began to dig in. While slightly bland, it was helping with the upset stomach and it was also warming you up along the way. You hum as you eat, the warmth of the food and it overall hitting the right spot, you didn’t realize that you finished it. You look sadly at the empty tub, wishing there was more. You hear Wukong laughing at you, causing you to look at him and see him slurping on noodles. Pouting slightly, you put the empty tub back in the plastic bag and reached for the thermos. Smelling it, it seemed like a tea of sorts with some cinnamon and jujube. Already familiar with the blend, you began to drink it slowly, being careful not to burn yourself. 

By the time you were done with your tea, Wukong was done with his numerous boxes of food and you were once again sleepy. Wukong takes the trash and thermos out of the room as you slide down and get comfortable once more. Shifting on your side, you wiggle around for a bit, before you feel like you hit the sweet spot. Tummy full, and not feeling as terrible as you did before, you kinda drift between consciousness and unconsciousness. 

You hear the floor creek, causing you to open your eyes and see Wukong standing by the door. He was looking at you as if he was asking for something. Already knowing what he was going to ask for, you rolled your eyes and lifted the blanket, inviting him. 

“Come on,” You say as he smiles and is in your arms within the same second. Wrapping his arms around you, he tangles his legs with your own as his tail wraps around you once again. You smile at his warmth and return the hug. The rest of your day was spent napping with your boyfriend, feeling way better than you did when you woke up that morning. 

[chamoemileclown]

What’s parkour civilization? I feel like I’ve never heard it before this week, but everyone’s making art of it rn. Did I miss something???

Parkour Civilization or pkc is something that gained a lot of traction on twitter sometime around the end of last week (maybe like october 2nd or 3rd i’d like to say) and it’s sort of spreading to here so here’s a really quick run down on pkc and some discussion on why its super popular all of a sudden. vv

Parkour Civilization is a series of minecraft roleplay videos by Youtuber @/Evbo that were originally released in 10-15 minute segments but later compiled as longer videos on his channel.

The series is about Evbo living in a world where everything he has to do is parkour related. If he wants a house he has to do parkour tricks, if he wants food he has to jump for it, if he wants to better his life and level up from a parkour noob to a parkour pro he has to do a parkour course. To add some risk it all happens over the void so there’s always some risk Evbo could fall and die at any time.

It’s not crazy special story wise and the series doesn’t treat itself seriously. It knows it’s a silly premise and I think that’s why a lot of people like it. I’m sick right now and I watched it because it was something fun to watch while I couldn’t do much else and by not being too serious it made me not expect certain things from it. If any of this sounds interesting id recommend giving it a watch.

I think it blew up like it did because of the intro of the first episode was a good hook for what pkc is. Evbo is given a choice between a hard parkour jump for some raw beef or an easy jump for raw chicken. Evbo goes on to say nobody jumps for the beef because it’s really not worth the risk and then watches his one remaining neighbor jump for it and fail, jumping into the void.

It right off the bat introduces you to the world and its mechanics and sets up a silly tone. It’s a format people can easily apply to a bunch of different memes/ their favorite media. It’s something you can easily reference and even if you don’t know the source material you can understand the concept.

pkc had viewers even before it blew up but a lot of the memes drew in new viewers which spawned in fanart which brings in even more viewers and that’s why it may seem like it came out of the blue.

I’m sort of hoping this is the new wave of minecraft content since we really haven’t had anything like this since 2020 and I think we’re overdue for a new era. A lot of people (including myself) thought this would come with the qsmp last year but I think it’s good that we’re getting some fresh faces in the mcyt ecosystem.

Here’s Evbo’s channel if you are interested, he’s currently working on a pvp civilization series which i haven’t really checked out yet but I hope to see more cool stuff out of him.

[uplatterme]

BARBATOS, The First.

MASTERLIST | MORAX | BEELZEBUL

cw: yandere!venti, sub!venti, dom!reader, they/them pronouns, unwanted advances, obsessive behavior, public sex, cock stepping, also a warning for yandere!venti’s overall behavior.

a/n: i had a taglist for this but i lost it LMAO

———

You’ve always noticed how different he acted towards you since the beginning.

The way he sits on your lap playfully, grinding himself without warning and when you ask him what he’s doing, he always pretends to be drunk although you were aware of his schemes.

Or when you’re wearing a skirt and somehow the Monstadt breeze always got stronger, your thighs or more accidentally showing even if you tried to pull it down.

And let’s not forget the time when he intentionally triggered his allergies so you could take care of him while he was “sick”. You didn’t doubt the fact that he was capable of taking care of himself.

You touch the rim of your glass, thinking about him. While it was definitely annoying, it sure did work and got your attention.

“That bard is quite strange, isn’t he?” You asked the bartender in front of you and he takes the empty glass from your hands to give you another fill.

“What’s strange is that he isn’t here chatting your ear off while you drink.” Diluc stated in annoyance. Archon knows how much the bard has actually ended up drunk under the table.

“Perhaps he hasn’t heard that I’ve come back to visit?” You questioned.

“He knows. If he says he doesn’t then he’s obviously lying. That bard knows more than you think.”

“Yet, he’s nowhere to be seen… How peculiar.”

“To think that we have a whole festival offering him flowers and yet he shows such indecent acts says a lot about our city.”

You stop before taking another sip of the alcohol in your hands. “What?”

The redhead stood in awe, realizing he’d made a mistake. “Forget what I said, I thought you knew.”

“Ragnvindr. Are you saying?”

He neither confirmed nor denied it.

You laughed at the new information. It was unbelievable, truly. “But, he’s so tiny? I could cup his face with my palms.”

“Get out. Don’t mention this to anyone.” He ordered.

“Excuse me?”

The next thing you knew, you were outside as Diluc closed earlier from the situation. Well, he was supposed to close earlier but with your pleading he served you a few glasses.

It did make sense, as strange as it sounded. Still, the idea of Venti being the Anemo Archon?

That and the fact that he’s obsessing with you made you want to go home and sleep.

Although, going home was never really an option for a traveler like you.

Should you really pester the Darknight Hero for a room?

You decided against it and went for a midnight stroll instead. There weren’t many hilichurls around due to the Honorary Knight getting rid of them for a quick bag of mora.

The stars were shining as you walked through the land of Mondstadt.

That still didn’t prepare you for the brightness that came along with the Anemo Archon appearing in front of you.

It looked like something out of a drama. A God staring down at a human as he fluttered his wings, creating strong breezes around the two of them.

Fuck. Was this really Venti?

The Anemo Archon presented himself in a form you haven’t seen before. Pure and white wings on his back, with a rather revealing outfit than his usual.

“Well, this is new.” You said.

He tightened his lips as he stared at you like you were his. “I’ve fallen for you, (Name). Why can’t you see that?”

A confession at this hour. One, which you did not appreciate either.

“I’m not looking for anything serious right now, so.” You scratch your head. Alice never wrote a book about rejecting Gods when they confess to you out of nowhere.

Barbatos floated towards you, clasping your hands together. “(Name). You don’t want another city to fall into ruins, do you?”

“Are you threatening me?”

You chuckled. “My, I’ve never thought Barbatos to be such a brat who rattles around if he doesn’t get what he wants.”

His wings quickly fluttered around.

“I’m not!” He yelled. “You don’t get it. Ever since I first saw you, I knew you were different from any other human I’ve met.”

You aggressively pulled him towards you by his braid. “I think you’re the one not understanding, Venti.”

“I’m not accepting a confession from someone who acts like a cheap whore. Surely, you can do better than that.” You scolded and it seemed to be working with how red his face got with each word that you tell him.

…

“You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”

You pulled on his hair again, your faces centimeters away from each other. He presented himself to be intimidating when he came over here and yet all you see right now is a puny little god, one who grit his teeth and trying not to let an unwanted noise come out from his throat even if the white shorts he’s wearing is leaving nothing to the imagination, his cock twitching from your words.

“I’m not—” He fumbled over his words, he knew just how enamored he was but he didn’t expect it to this effect.

“It’s not like that…” The red on his cheeks deepened.

“Do you really need to travel to the other regions? Haven’t I made Monstadt the perfect home for you?!”

You never asked for any of those, you wanted to say.

“I’m even offering myself to you. Isn’t that enough?”

There are tears coming out of his eyes and you couldn’t understand whether these were actually his true feelings or he was trying to guilt you into accepting his confession.

Either way, it was working.

The Archon embraced you tightly, pressing his cock against you and humping your thigh like a desperate bitch needy for attention.

He’s sensitive.

Right, someone like him would have been void of this kind of intimacy.

You waited until Venti was flushing heavy, moans signaling that he was close to cumming on you.

Then, you stopped him.

“Ah—Wait!” He mewled pathetically from the ruined orgasm.

“You don’t do things unless I say so, alright?” You warned him, the whole shtick of grinding against you without permission was getting old.

“Lay on the ground, Barbatos.”

Venti hesitated, unsure of how exactly. Eventually, he rested his back on the ground with his hands crossed together. He stared up at you, opposite of how you two were at the beginning of this whole conversation.

If you told him you were a god born in a human’s body, he would believe it.

His back arched as he felt you step on his groin, your shoe aggressively putting pressure on his already sensitive cock.

“Haah–(Name)-” He breathed out.

His wings moved involuntarily while you continued stepping on him. Venti writhed on the ground, moaning your name repeatedly as if it were the only thing he could remember.

“Don’t close your thighs together.”

“C-cant…’m trying.” He complained.

“Hold them for me.”

Venti puts his hands on his knees, spreading his legs open just for you. His trembling fingers barely even did anything more than when they were on the ground.

“I like this outfit on you, should wear it more often to show off how much of a whore you are to your people.”

He wailed in response, drooling at your words.

“Do you like it, Venti? Do you like it when I degrade you less than dirt?” You asked.

He shook his head, muttering ‘no’ over his whimpering.

You pressed down harder and Venti choked on his breathing, coughing in embarrassment.

“You say that…but my shoe is getting cleaned from how soaked you are. Not to mention, your feathers are all over the place.”

“I’m c-close–(Name), please…want to-”

Venti moaned louder, he wasn’t even holding himself back even if he knew that the two of you were in public, that if anyone were to see how he looked now then they would be able to figure out that their dear Barbatos was the one creaming on the ground.

“Admit it first. Maybe, I’ll consider it.”

“Admit–what?”

You removed your shoe away from his cock and were immediately met with pleading. “No, no. Please, (Name),”

“Yes-yes. I like it when you talk to me that way. I like how you ignore me even if I’m bouncing up and down on your lap at Angel’s Share. I love how you treat me like I don’t mean anything to you.” Venti confessed.

“You’re sweet, Venti. You’re such a good boy for me.”

You placed your foot back on him moving around until he was helplessly sobbing from pleasure, cumming while screaming your name out as loud as he could.

Venti panted, his cock continuing to leak out even after he’s done with his orgasm.

You went on your knees, head still above his.

You caressed his wings which lay flat on the ground. “I like this one.”

“What–Hmpf!” He bit his lip in pain as you plucked out one of his feathers.

“I think I’ll keep it. You don’t mind, do you?”

“No–anything for you, of course.” He quickly answered.

“Then, let’s continue.”

Venti’s hole seemed prepared for you already. Still, you inserted two of your fingers inside him and felt his walls around. “Do you finger yourself, Venti? Do you think of me while you get yourself off?”

“Hh–yes.”

You inserted another finger in for his honesty, touching every part of his insides and avoiding his prostate, no matter if tried to plunge himself deeper for it.

“Close your eyes. Tell me exactly what you think.”

You removed your fingers while you listened to every detail he said out loud. “I imagine you placing me on my back and pounding me from how tired you are of me.”

You followed his directions, placing Venti on his back and pushing yourself in without warning. Venti gasped loudly, stopping his story momentarily until he realized that you weren’t going to move unless he continued.

“You pound me rough and deep, filling me up–as–ah!” He faced the ground, eyes still closed. He wouldn’t dare open them.

“You-you.” He tried to focus while feeling you all inside of him, how warm you are, how you hit his spots and how your hand is pushing his back down.

“You let me scream—hh—as l-loud as I can, how you’d love to parade me around like t-this to everyone, that my mouth could do better than tell tales.”

Venti continued to moan, gripping the grass on the ground and unable to hold himself from the pleasure.

“You say that the only time I should open my mouth is when I use it to please you.” He finished.

You grinned, this bard of yours sure let his imaginations run wild.

“And I bet you liked that, didn’t you?”

“Mhm—So, please don’t go anymore, (Name). You can have me a-all you want.” He said from underneath you.

You enveloped his dick in your hands. pushing him to his limit while his prostate was getting abused by your rough and quick movements.

Venti shivered flat on the ground as he came once more, saying your name over and over again.

“So?” The bard asked.

You entered Angel’s Share, desperately wanting a drink after you had ventured from Dragonspine for a quest. Diluc took a single look at you and grunted.

“Ragnvindr, the usual.”

He eyed your side and tutted his tongue.

“To think I was enjoying not seeing the two of you together and now he looks like he’s attached to your hip.” He elaborated.

Venti hugged your arm, snuggling on it as if it were a pillow. “Oh dear bartender, I think you’d find me attached to more than their hip!”

The redhead looked as if he wanted to throw the bard out right now. “I didn’t need to hear that.”

He tilted his head at you. “I’m putting his debt on your tab.”

“I can’t get rid of him, unfortunately, would cry his eyes out if I do.” You replied.

“(Name)? I’m here, you know!” He waved his hands in front of you and you continued to ignore him.

You hoped to yourself that claiming a god as your partner (of sorts) won’t go anywhere more difficult.

[storiesforallfandoms]

roses are red ~ damon salvatore;the vampire diaries

word count: 2936

request?: yes!

@faithiegirl01​ : “Hi amor mio!! I’ve read though some of your other works and I absolutely love them. I was wondering if I could request a Hanahaki Disease fic with either Jasper hale, Damon Salvatore or possibly Steve Harrington? I’m just absolutely obsessed with these fics so so much right now. Useally I have a full blown summary to what I want with imagines, but this time I kinda just wanna let the artist do their thing. The only thing is that I don’t really like smut, but you can put it in if you want, I myself would just skip over that part. You don’t have to take this if you don’t want to, I just think it’d be a cute fic idea and that you’d write it very well.”

description: in which she develops a disease after realizing she’s in love with one of her best friends

pairing: damon salvatore x female!reader

warnings: swearing, mentions of a fatal sickness (Hanahaki Disease)

masterlist (one, two, three)

It was the way he looked at her; like he needed her more than the air he breathed. Like she was the most beautiful thing to ever walk the Earth. Like he wanted to worship the ground she walked on.

I wish he would look at me like that.

I don’t know exactly when I realized I had a crush on Damon. I had known him since he and Stefan moved to Mystic Falls. Of course, I thought he was attractive when I first met him, but I didn’t think of him in any sort of romantic way. At least, I didn’t think I did.

Until he told me he had feelings for Elena. Then, I started to have this bitter feeling towards Elena whenever she was around, especially when Damon was with her. It was like her very presence alone made me irritated and I couldn’t be around her for very long. Eventually, I was able to put two and two together to realize what was going on: I had fallen for the age old cliché of unrequited love for a friend who loved someone else.

It was so hard. I couldn’t just avoid Damon, he would know something was up. But watching him fawn over Elena when she was head over heels for his brother was extremely difficult.

Like right now, sitting at the bar in The Mystic Grill, watching Damon look at Elena and Stefan with this lovesick puppy look on his face. It was enough to make me want to order the strongest drink the bartender was allowed to give me.

“I’ll have what she’s having,” Damon said, finally tearing his eyes away from Elena and Stefan.

I rolled my eyes and muttered, “You have to get over her.”

He looked over at me. “What?”

I shook my head, realizing what I said would surely cause a fight. “Nothing.”

“No, tell me.” He didn’t sound mad, just genuinely curious. I could’ve made something up, or insisted it really was nothing. I could’ve easily avoided any sort of conflict.

But instead, I said, “You need to get over your feelings for Elena. It’s kind of sad to watch you pine over your brother’s girlfriend.”

The bartender passed us our drinks. I immediately downed the contents of mine, wincing at the bitter taste and burning feeling of the liquid running down my throat. Damon took a moment longer to drink his.

“You think I haven’t tried?” he asked. “To get over Elena? You think I want to feel this way about my brother’s girlfriend?”

“Drinking and having meaningless sex isn’t ‘getting over’ her,” I pointed out. “That’s just coping mechanisms. You need to actually move on.”

“I’m fucking trying,” he snapped. “But it feels impossible. She’s all I can think about. And she’s always at our place because of Stefan, which makes it worse.” He paused to take another sip from his drink. “Besides, it’s not like there’s anyone in this town that I would consider dating.”

His words felt like a knife through my chest. I could feel a lump forming in my throat, but I couldn’t let him see me cry. If that was how he felt, then fine. But it didn’t make his confession hurt me any less.

I ordered another strong drink before saying, “Well, maybe you should try at least. It’s annoying to watch you go after your brother’s girlfriend when she’ll never feel the same way for you.”

A tense silence fell over us. Damon downed the last of his drink before standing from his chair. He pulled some money from his wallet and threw it down onto the counter. I watched as he left the restaurant in a huff. Elena and Stefan shared a look before looking over at me, but I turned away before they could lock eyes with me. I had to admit, what I said was harsh. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it the way I did, but I just felt hurt. Not that he would know that, but my pain wasn’t making me think straight.

I took my drink and downed half of it in one mouthful again. The minute the bitter liquid was gone, I started to cough. I thought maybe it had gone down the wrong way, but then the coughing became harder until it felt like something was coming up in my throat. I quickly ran to the bathroom and collapsed next to the toilet just as something finally came up. I spit it into the toilet and sat back. I was absolutely shocked at what I had seen.

Several flower pedals floating in the water.

~~~~~~

A few days later, I was sat in my doctor’s office. After the first time at Mystic Grill, I had started coughing up more flower pedals. Even in a world that included vampires, werewolves, and witches, I had a feeling that throwing up flower pedals was not normal.

I thought my doctor would want to run some sort of tests to see what was going on, if he even believed me at all. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t. I barely believed it and I was the one experiencing it. But when I told him what was going on, his face dropped. I suddenly felt very nervous by his reaction.

“Miss. (Y/L/N),” he said. “This is...very serious.”

“I kind of figured,” I said, trying to lighten the mood.

He didn’t seem to appreciate the joke. “(Y/N), this is an illness that’s still very new. We don’t know too much about it yet because it’s very rare.” I sat up a little straighter, my heart starting to pound. “What we do know is that it’s called the Hanahaki Disease. It was first noted in Japan, thus the name being a combination of two Japanese words. There’s not a lot known about how someone gets it, except the fact that unrequited love is involved.”

Are you fucking kidding me?! I’m throwing up flowers because of my crush on Damon?!

“So, what can be done?” I asked. “There has to be a cure or something discovered for this, right?”

The look the doctor gave me didn’t give me a lot of hope. “There’s been attempts at a surgical procedure that will remove the flowers from your respiratory track.”

“Attempts?” That doesn’t sound promising.

“Well, the procedure works. The thing is...it takes away your feelings for the person you have unrequited feelings for. Feelings you will never get back. Which may sound like a good thing, but that includes friendly feelings. With this surgery, you’ll just become apathetic towards the person you had feelings for.”

Okay, that was definitely less than ideal. I would love to lose these romantic feelings for Damon. It would make seeing him fawn over Elena a lot less hurtful. But, if it took away all feelings for Damon, including friendly feelings, then our friendship really would be over, and I didn’t want to lose him as a friend. That was the whole reason I hadn’t told him I liked him in the first place.

“That’s the only way to get rid of this?” I asked.

“The only other way is if the love is reciprocated, and I mean romantically not just in a friendship way.”

Well, that’s not happening.

“Can I think this over?”

The doctor gave me a look that I could only describe as pity. “You can, but try to come up with a decision soon. This illness is fatal if left for too long untreated.”

That should’ve been enough for me to agree to the surgery on the spot. My life was at risk so the solution would be a no brainer to anyone else. But there I was, days after my doctor’s visit, sat in my house with no decision having been made. My condition was getting worse. I could barley go a few minutes without coughing up a flower. I knew I must not have too long left before the fatality of the illness finally got me. Again, that should’ve been enough for any normal person to choose the surgery immediately. however, I couldn’t make that decision when I knew it would mean I’d lose Damon.

I had been holed up in my room and basically pushed my friends away. I told them I wasn’t feeling well, but I didn’t go into any specifics. They still reached out to check on me, but I didn’t respond much.

I hadn’t heard from Damon at all since that night at Mystic Grill. That was probably for the best. Talking to him right now, considering my condition, was probably a bad idea and I’d prefer him hating me if I died over him knowing I was dying because I had feelings for him.

I was in bed in the darkness of my room when I heard a knock at my front door. I ignored it, thinking it was a salesman or something, and figuring they’d just go away eventually. But, when I didn’t answer, there was another series of knocks, followed by the doorbell ringing repeatedly. I sighed, which turned into another coughing fit and a few bright red pedals landing on my floor. I groaned and reluctantly pulled myself out of bed. It seemed whoever was at my door was not leaving until somebody answered. Maybe if it was someone annoying I could just cough some flowers on them and scare them away.

But when I opened the door, it wasn’t a salesman on the other side.

It was Damon Salvatore.

“You look like shit,” he commented.

“Thanks,” I croaked, followed by another coughing fit.

Damon’s face suddenly became serious as he reached out for me. “Jesus, you really aren’t doing well.”

“No, I’m kinda dying,” I responded before I could stop myself.

“I’m sure it’s not that bad.”

“No, Damon. I’m literally dying.”

I felt him tense. I started coughing again, this time actually coughing up a few flower pedals. I caught them in my hand before letting them flutter to the floor. Damon looked at them in a mixture of shock and confusion, before wrapping his arms around me and guiding me into my own house. I let him take me to my living room, and we both sat down on the couch. Damon took one of my blankets that I always left on the back of the couch and wrapped it around my shoulders.

“What did you do to make yourself start throwing up pedals and apparently be on the verge of dying?” he asked. He had one arm around me, and I let myself lean into him. I knew this was probably very bad for me, for my condition, but if I had little time left, I was going to allow myself to have this one moment with Damon.

“It’s some sort of new illness,” I said. “Something that starts with an H, a Japanese word I think the doctor said.”

“Geez, should I be worried about being so close to you then?”

I smiled. For the first time in many days, I was actually able to smile. “It’s not that kind of illness. The doctor said it...it stems from unrequited love.”

There was silence. I realized Damon had been running his hand idly up and down my arm. It felt nice. Despite having kept him away for so long, I was realizing now that I really did need to see him one last time. To just have one final moment of somewhat normalcy with him.

“So...you have feelings for someone...they don’t like you back...and now you’re dying?” Damon asked.

“Apparently so,” I responded. “It’s something rare, but it’s been happening.”

“Who would be stupid enough to not love you?”

I knew that shouldn’t have hurt me, but it did. It hurt because I knew he didn’t actually mean that. Not in the way I would’ve wanted him to. But I really, really wish he had meant it that way.

“Someone who is already in love with someone else.”

“Ah,” Damon said. “That’s...that’s rough.”

I nodded. “I guess you know how that feels.”

“I guess it’s a good thing I’m a vampire and can’t get these sorts of illnesses then.”

“Lucky bastard.”

We both started to laugh, until I started coughing again. This time, it was a lot harsher of a cough, and I coughed out more flowers than I had ever at this point. I hunched over as the flowers came up in my throat and fell onto the floor. My chest burned with every harsh cough, and part of me wondered if this was the end. Was I going to die next to Damon? The irony of that was not lost on me.

I felt his hand against my back as I finally stopped coughing. There was basically a bouquet of flowers at my feet now. It could’ve been beautiful if these plants weren’t the thing that was killing me.

Damon pulled me back so I was in his arms again. My eyes felt heavy suddenly, so I rested my head in the crook of his neck and let them close for a second.

“Can I tell you something?” he asked.

“Now is the time to,” I mumbled back. “Who knows how much longer I have left?”

I meant it as a joke, but I could tell he didn’t appreciate it as much as I wanted him to.

“I’ve never loved Elena.”

My eyes popped open and I quickly sat up to look at him. “What?!”

“Okay, I can’t say never,” he clarified. “I did have some feelings for her when I first met her, but then when she got with Stefan and...and when I met you...those feelings went away.”

“When you met me?” I asked. He nodded. “Damon...are you...are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

He wasn’t looking at me now. “Depends. What do you think I’m saying?”

“Are you trying to tell me that your feelings are for me, and not for Elena?”

He didn’t respond, but he didn’t have to. His body language said everything. Damon Salvatore loves me, not Elena Gilbert.

There was a million and one things running through my head. I had no idea how to even respond to that. I was sure this was all some sort of hallucination caused by the disease. Like I was getting to see the one thing I wanted more than anything before I died.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” I asked. “Wait, no, more important question: why did you always act like you were so in love with Elena if you never were?”

“It felt easier than trying to admit to you that I had feelings for you,” he said. “I knew you never would’ve looked at me that way because you saw me as a friend. And Stefan had already clocked that I had feelings for Elena when I first met her, so I figured I would just lean into that until I could find someone else that captured my attention the way you did. But I couldn’t find anyone else, because there isn’t anyone else who makes me feel the way that you make me feel.”

He barely had the final word out before I was lunging at him, pressing my lips against his. It was a forward approach, I’ll admit, but I couldn’t stop myself. It was the words I had been waiting to hear from him for so long, and now that I was finally hearing them, it was like I didn’t have control of my body. I acted before my brain could process what we were doing. It took Damon by surprise, but it didn’t take him long to start kissing me back. He moved me so that I was actually sat on his lap, my legs on either side of his. His arms pulled me as close to him as I could get.

We kept kissing like that for so long that I didn’t even notice the heavy feeling on my chest had lifted, or the fact that I hadn’t been coughing up flowers anymore. I was so lost in Damon that I didn’t realize that the disease had been cured. I didn’t realize until Damon pulled away from our kiss and looked at me in shock. “Holy shit, you look so much better.”

“What?”

“You don’t look sick anymore.”

I stood quickly and rushed to the nearest mirror. He was right, I didn’t look as sickly anymore. And I felt like I could actually breathe again.

“Whoa, that happened fast,” I murmured to myself.

“How did it happen?” Damon asked, appearing behind me. “I thought it was an unrequited love thing?”

I turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “Damon...do you really not know who I was talking about earlier? After I literally just threw myself at you on the couch?”

I could literally see the gears turning in his head until his eyes lit up. “Me?!”

I chuckled and walked towards him. I cupped his face in my hands and leaned upwards to kiss him again. “Yes, stupid. I was talking about you.”

“You almost died because of me?”

“Kind of, but also because I was too chicken to tell you how I felt. But I’m not sick anymore.”

“Thank God for that.”

He pulled me in for another kiss. I never wanted to stop kissing him. I had never felt so good in my entire life. I just wanted to pause in this moment and live it over and over and over again.