#and I enjoy being around my friends
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Zelda goes mushroom girl
#tloz#a link to the past#zelda#link#my art#I was happy with that first one but for some reason decided it still needed a companion piece so I spent way too long on that second one...#I don't think there was any time during the progress where I was happy with it but hfduhdfu at least I got to Attempt drawing moss hell yea#I also at some point sat in Pyu's art stream and said I enjoy drawing legs As I was being murdered by the infamously impossibe (imo) squat.#it's ok I had fun !! but I need to learn how to let doodles be doodles or I'll never finish stuff at this rate dfsuhfd#if everything in my tloz tag looks like it was drawn by different people uuuh 2023 was art crisis year ngl......#I'm falling back into my old ways rn though#anyway I think about these two a lot I think they're both stone faced and awkward ppl in different ways but they try rly hard to be friends#like I like to think it starts out so incredibly awkward and a bit sad bc they keep stepping over each other's toes accidentally the harder#they try but idk they find comfy middle ground idk in my brain they have a very interesting friendship I wanna get around to drawing it#in a proper way that might make sense....#if I don't write 200 tags I will die maybe it's bc I grew up on dA or smth#and yes I know how to find 1 (one) type of mushroom /I/ am not mushroom girl unfortunately smh
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So, despite some faults, I really enjoyed totk, and on its anniversary I want to say something about it. Other people have said similar things before but it’s really important to me and actually a big part of why the story of totk was meaningful to me, so I want to also say it:
Zelda needed to come back from draconification. The story needed that. It wasn’t lazy and just ignoring “consequences” because (imo) that was the *point*
The point is to feel like there are going to be terrible consequences and then say actually, no. You can come back from this, with the help of other people.
To me at least, that was the theme of the whole story.
If botw was about how the world goes on past loss and grief and starts to heal (how flowers grow in the ruins and the world can be beautiful again, be worth saving, even if it has changed)…then totk was about a more personal kind of healing.
The weight of the world should not be on your shoulders alone…you, alone, should not have to fix everything…you should not have to sacrifice yourself, but when you do, someone will be there to save you from it.
This turned into a really long ramble so:
You (Link) gained so much and now it’s gone. It feels like you’re back to where you started and yet you know you have to do it all again…you were weak and you failed and you’re weaker now…but
You go down to the surface. Monsters swarm across it once again. Other people are fighting them too though. You help, but it’s not just you…
You go to the Rito, the Gorons, the Zora, the Gerudo…just like with the divine beasts, there are friends who help you save each region. But this time, part of them comes along with you when you leave. It’s nice, you realize, the first time one of them protects you from a monster you weren’t prepared for. You’re still weaker than you were before, but someone has your back…
When you go up to the sky you see a strange new dragon there. There’s something about them that feels familiar. You try not to think about it.
You go down to the depths too. It’s terrifying at first. You hate it. You only want to get what you came for and get out of the dark….but slowly, the light grows. You get stronger. The dark feels like a challenge you can face (and someone has your back).
There are spirits down there. You don’t know when they’re from, but some part of you wonders…are these all the people you let die in the Calamity? (You help them find rest from their wandering. The weight on your shoulders feels a little less heavy).
There’s so much gloom. The first few times the sky turns red and hands chase you (a reminder of what you’ve lost, how you failed) you just run. Eventually though, you have to fight. It feels like the (second) worst day of your life again. But you manage to get free of the grasping gloom and stand and fight, as wild and desperate as it is. Beneath the manifestation of your worst fears, there’s another thing to fight, but this time it has a face (a voice in the back of your head says…you know this isn’t all on you and your failure…it’s really Ganon’s fault right?). You get through it.
At every turn in your travels, it seems like something reminds you of Zelda. Her passion, her curiosity, her kindness. You miss her.
At first, the tears you find reassure you. She may be in the past, but she’s safe. She’ll come back somehow…but then you hear the word draconification for the first time. You want to believe she wouldn’t do it but you know her and the fear sits cold inside you. (Zelda is a lot of things. She’s been allowed to be more of them, since she was freed from her hundred year battle, without her father holding her back. But deep down inside her, there’s a vein of self-sacrifice that still runs strong. It’s what saved the world before, after all).
She did it. She really did it. She’s gone from you (from Hyrule) forever, and it’s all your fault. If only you hadn’t failed so utterly in the battle (you can hardly even call it that) under the castle. If only you’d caught her. If only you hadn’t let the sword break. You should have protected her you should have been better it’s all your fault and now she has to live with the consequences, forever. Everything really is on you, you should have been better.
(Zelda POV: you couldn’t call upon Hylia’s power in time, you were too content to let it wither and fade away from you, ready to be free of it. You shouldn’t have. He got hurt, the sword got hurt, it’s your fault…Sonia and Rauru help you channel it again, Sonia helps you learn how to turn back time…but you don’t save her. She dies because you couldn’t save her. Rauru dies not long after. There is no one left to guide you, once again. You could spend years trying to figure it out on your own. But you did that last time. It didn’t work. Self-sacrifice, stepping in front of someone you love, that worked. (You do what you can, to call upon the sages, to help Link in the future, first). And then you swallow the stone. You’ve come a long way, in the past five years, allowing yourself to exist. But in the end, self-sacrifice worked last time. It’ll work this time too.)
You (Link) go down beneath the castle. You were supposed to bring the sages but you didn’t. It’s nice, for someone to have your back. But no one else should get hurt to fix your mistakes.
They follow you anyway. They fight with you, against the hordes, against the greatest enemies you defeated together, along the way. They’ll have your back, even if you don’t think you deserve it.
You fight Ganondorf, and then the demon king, in the hardest battle of your life. You think it’s over and then the demon king decides it’s better to lose himself completely than let you win. You’re exhausted and afraid of yet another battle, but up there in the sky, when you’re falling, the Light Dragon catches you (you wonder why she changed her path to catch you, you wonder if there’s still something of Zelda left in there to save). With her help, you win.
And then you’re in some other realm. The spirits of Sonia and Rauru are there. You remember how the two of them and Zelda channeled such incredible power together. You think about Recall. Turning something back to the memory of what it was before, like Sonia said. You stand with them and you allow yourself to hope. Maybe the Light Dragon can remember the form she took so long ago, the person that she was.
And then you’re falling, and Zelda is falling, but this time you catch her. You catch her. She’s back home with you, finally, finally.
And maybe, one mistake doesn’t have to be the end of the world. You don’t have to be perfect. Sometimes, someone else can stand with you, and it’ll all turn out alright. (You can put the weight of the world on your shoulders, you can sacrifice yourself, but someone will be there to catch you, someone will be there to pull you back to yourself, when all is said and done).
#loz#tears of the kingdom#Link#Zelda#I will say also that I think part of the reason totk is special to me is very personal#like when it came out I was still struggling with the worst burnout of my life#I had had a few months of exhaustion between January and March and in May that exhaustion was still sticking to me#it was hard to get out of bed hard to do anything I felt so tired that I almost felt sick but I wasn’t sick#and the thing is Zelda games are my biggest special interest#and having a new one to play like genuinely I’m not joking it gave me bsck so much energy#I was doing really badly but when totk came out I played it for an entire weekend straight basically#and like my mom came to visit me and help me out with basic life stuff#and like sit with me while I played just like enjoying being together#and that was really nice#over that summer and the fall after I started getting to know someone I work with better#largely over conversations about totk at first#and they’ve become a good friend#(and become someone that I feel safe to be fully myself around)#and so I just have this really strong personal connection to totk#like I will not claim to be impartial about it#there are definitely criticisms that I can acknowledge#in particular I don’t like that they un-amputeed Link let Link be disabled#and also ganondorf’s characterization was shallow and one dimensional#and I’m sure there’s other things I could think of#but the overall narrative#including Zelda becoming the light dragon and then turning back in the end#I really like that#it felt like a narrative of healing to me#and playing it at the time that I did felt really healing to me too
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The Language of Love
If you are already convinced snakes are incapable of love, this post is not for you. But if you are open to the possibility that maybe they do, and maybe they love us too, this post explores that thought. Perhaps snakes feel it differently, perhaps they feel it the same humans do- though even humans experience love, be it platonic or romantic, differently from individual to individual. Different people also show their love in different ways as well! Yet still even with a divide between species most of us have felt love from our furry and feathered friends. Perhaps our scaly friends are also telling us they love us, we just might not understand.
When I first got my girl Scoria, if I could tell her only one thing it would be, "I love you." When I held her, I wondered if she understood how much I cared about her, and would do anything to protect her. When I pet her, I wondered if she knew how amazing I thought she was and enjoyed spending time with her.
And then I started watching livestreams of wild snakes, and how they act toward each other. (The above still is from Project Rattle Cam!) When the babies see a trusted adult, they slither all over them! How many times had my girl happily slithered all over me going no where in particular? I imagine that my finger petting her soft as a feather was probably quite similar to another snake greeting her in such a way.
Sakura is much more shy, yet wants to form a bond with me. I see it when she fights her fear to vibe with me. Sometimes she'll sit for hours at the edge of her tank nearest me, not wanting to come out, but just be near me.
Snakes like rattlesnakes and garter snakes will vibe peacefully with each other, with baby rattlesnakes sleeping near the adult rattlesnakes they trust to keep them safe.
Perhaps, when our shy snakes sits with us, facing their fears they're saying, "I'm scared, but I want to be closer with you." And maybe when our snakes slither all over us, going nowhere in particular, like their wild counterparts do with each other they're saying, "I'm so happy to see you! You're my favorite to be with!" I wonder if they could tell us one thing it would be "I love you, best friend!" And it's okay, best friend. I love you too, and already know. <3
#snakes#snake#hognose#rattlesnakes#rattle snakes#I don't want to debate this- those who would are already cemented in their opinions#Plenty of us snake caretakers have wondered I'm sure#From the behavior I've seen from my girls#I feel we are a happy little family#And they display requesting and giving affection#as well as empathy#Not sure what else they'd need to do to convince the world but its enough for me#And really why deprive snake caretakers the comfort of knowing their little scaley friends love them back#“But maybe they don't”#Yeah well maybe they do#Especially when they're doing the behavior their wild counterparts do when they see their friends#Yes they have friends!#Sakura understands when I do the hognose twitch too and will come over when I do it with my arm#Being able to communicate with them is incredible honestly#Anyway#If there was anyone out there wondering if their snake loves them#If they rush over to see you#like to vibe with you#then they enjoy your company#If they can't wait for you to pick them up and wiggle all over you going nowhere in particular#You know they are happy to be around you and are telling you in snake language#which seems super similar to petting/being pet for a critter with no arms#I mean when you have a tongue that isn't made for grooming#And I think it is family love <3
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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more about og tue timeline twins danny and dan/jamie
very touchy with each other. you might even say. ccclingy. its to be expected, they're two halves of a whole after all and all they've got of each other. worryingly co-dependent. do not separate. ever.
Danny was really weak and sick after the initial separation, and was for a while after. Jamie knew internally that if Danny died, he'd take the whole world with it. He was the one sole caretaker for him while he got better -- not for lack of trying on Vlad's part, but without his ghost powers he was nothing more than a feeble (albeit handsomely rich) man, and James looked ready to bite his head off if he got within ten feet of either of them.
Vlad is intimately aware that James (or Danny, if he tried) could snap his spine in half like a twig, and is uncomfortably aware of his own lack of ghost half now. It makes him feel self-conscious and exposed, so he never fully returns back to "cocky and self-assured billionaire Vlad Masters". Making deals with other brands feels a lot harder now that he can no longer possess them anymore.
Speaking of, he very quickly has to come up with a cover story as to why there's now a James Daniel Fenton to the public, when no records whatsoever of him existing existed prior. Lots of forging false government documents on his end. James and Danny do not help because it's his fault this happened in the first place.
(Regardless of whether or not Danny actually willingly chose to rip out his ghost half/humanity in canon is true, or if that was Vlad Masters speaking out of his ass, a large part of the blame still falls on Masters.)
(As his primary caretaker and guardian, it's his responsibility to ensure the health and safety of his charge, and since Danny was in clear emotional duress at the time, it can be argued that he was not in the mental state to make such a decision. And, allegedly, couldn't do it on his own which is why he asked Vlad for help.)
I chose "James" as Dan's name since it's a popular fanon middle name for Danny, and since he's half of Danny, it felt like it just made sense lol. Also because of the ensuing comedy of the two of them introducing themselves as "James Daniel Fenton" and "Daniel James Fenton". It's got the same energy as "danny with a y" and "danny with an i" and it's the exact kind of name bullshit you expect parents to give their twins.
I don't have their exact personalities down, but something I am actively writing into this au's bible is that I think Danny should be the quiet and (ig technically) meaner one. There's a lot to go into about interpretations for ghosts, halfas, and the incident itself, but TL:DW; Danny is technically soulless, or at the very least missing half of his soul (altho Jamie is too just in a different direction).
Pair that with the trauma of losing his family in front of him + having his ghost half ripped out + all the trauma he would've sustained as a hero, and he's not doing too hot mentally! i think if the twins met good timeline!Danny, Danny would've mistaken Danny for Dan and Jamie for the original half.
He comes off to others as pretty apathetic and indifferent to a borderline terrifyingly calm degree. He doesn't go out of his way to insult people, but he also doesn't care enough to consider the other party's feelings so he doesn't filter himself, which makes him come off as rude. The only times he looks truly comfortable is when he's near Jamie or talking to him.
His standoffish, ice prince demeanor makes Jamie look like a saint in comparison. When really he's not all that much better? He's more outwardly emotional than Danny, whether that be positive or negative, but at the end of the day he doesn't trust or care about anyone else any more than Danny does, and he's got a bit of a sadistic streak. Danny reigns him in when he starts becoming too destructive.
(Which I think makes sense. Danny asked Vlad to rip out his ghost half specifically so he could stop feeling his human emotions. Dan, despite his monotone voice, does exhibit emotions. He's smug when he asks Valerie if he likes his ghostly wail, sardonic when he reunites with Sam and Tucker, annoyed, shocked at Danny's ghostly wail, etc. He enjoys wreaking destruction and chaos.)
(If Danny had survived his encounter with Dan and if Vlad was successful, then I imagine he'd be rather apathetic to his other half as a whole. That'd be interesting.)
Overall though they're both hurt, bitter, and distrustful of the world around them, with abandonment issues a mile wide. They can get better and they can heal, but it takes time and patience and proper support.
On the DPxDC side of things, they do genuinely hold some kind of respect or regard for Bruce. They also don't become vigilantes for a while. Neither of them are jumping at the bit to enter heroism again, not when it was heroism that killed their family in the first place.
In fact when they find out Bruce = Batman they think he's foolish for it. They think its a fool's errand, and they've been so spurned by their time as Phantom that for a few weeks, Jamie even refused to call Bruce anything but Sisyphus. Danny called him Tantalus, and the two of them had a faux-argument about which one was more accurate.
Bruce does, though, worm his way into both of their hearts, and that's like, the main reason they become vigilantes to join him. So that they could keep him safe and not because of any desire to return to the heroic life. Relearning to care and finding satisfaction in helping others was an unintentional side effect.
(Bruce is so very smug)
Essentially:
The Twins: this is our squishy and fragile adoptive father. If anything happened to him, we're becoming mass extinction events.
Bruce: Nnno.
#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc#dp x dc#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc au#danny phantom#the twins au#dan phantom#batman and his no-good terrifying little bodyguards. they're both like 5'2 and weigh 90lbs soaking wet and are capable of great violence#he can scruff them both with both hands. they're like two wet cats.#bruce: these are my children Daniel and James | the twins: *emanating little orphan tom riddle energy from behind him*#danny can experience emotions btw they're just dulled(??) to an extent. he doesn't feel them as intensely as Jamie does. in some cases#he knows he should be feeling SOME kind of emotion he just doesn't. being around Jamie helps amplify them. some kind of feedback thing#Jamie is a mischief maker. enjoys wreaking subtle chaos on other people especially people of his ire. laughs at other's misfortune.#neither of them are all that sympathetic when bruce takes them in. but they dO like. like~ him when he does. in some way. they prefer him#over vlad at least. by the time they become vigilantes they genuinely care about him. if not as family then at the very least as a friend.#which means. congrats bruce! you've unlocked the [ viciously protective sons ] perk! have fun with your mini ragnaroks :)#cannot express enough that the twins DO like and respect bruce. there's a genuine care and mutual friendship/relationship there.#yeah they dont need bruce's permission (technically) to be vigilantes but with the way they're set up why WOULD they lmao.#they have no incentive to return to the hero life and in fact comma have the incentive to do the exact opposite and avoid it.#so i give them believable incentive >:]#batdad aus go brrrrrrrr#referring to dan as a 'mass extinction event' is my new favorite way to refer to him <33 bc its technically true
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[ID: a digital sketch of Eda and Raine from the owl house. They're in their designs from watching and dreaming, pre epilogue. Raine holds out their arm for an injection (given by a disembodied hand and labeled "magic rabies shot") and Eda lays a hand on their shoulder and leans her head on theirs. She says "you're doing great Raine! how'd you get rabies tho?". Raine stares dead eyed at the viewer as a thought bubble connected to them shows Belos biting down on their arm. End ID]
I was gonna post a request today but I feel like it's gonna flop and this is funnier. So request tomorrow, Raine Whispers Rabies doodle today
#the owl house#toh#raine whispers#eda clawthorne#raeda#you guys have no clue the stupid shit i doodle when alone or in the company of my irl friends. this was partly their suggestion#you guys haven't even seen baldlos (he was just born today and also no one should see him ever)#anyway I'm so mad that THIS FUCKING DOODLE is the best raeda I've ever drawn. repulsive. why would god do that to me#anyway..enjoy#raine and hunter both being rushed to like. makeshift hospital tents after the finale on account of getting possessed#except when they're there they end up getting treated for completely unrelated shit#hunter had a growth spurt w/ insufficient stored energy/food in his body so he's kinda malnourished atm. raine has rabies (obv)#fun times all around#luz is perfectly healthy after death and resurrection tho! suspiciously healthy one might say...
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happy mochizuki monday!!!
#lizzy does art#persona 3#ryomina#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#makoto yuki#i think ryomina is very comforting to draw... very easy to come back to for me. they have the honor of being a timeless ship to me.#i really enjoy drawing them in a silly loose way... even if there's not much to it other than them existing on the canvas#whenever i draw ryoji or minato. my brain has this little happy signal that goes off and jumps for joy!!!#'its the boy!!' the brain exclaims with hope and optimism and whimsy#i miss these guys a lot btw if you can't tell i cant stop walking back and forth in my room shaking these two in my brain#even if i do not have 'bigger' things to show other than a product of silliness of me messing around on a canvas#i think that's enough... drawing is something to cherish it's smthn that you have that no one can take away from you...#no matter how big or small!! if you made yourself happy with a draw. that is something that is worthwhile. be friends with yourself!#that said going forward im going to try and stop overthinking about art because i know that things will be fine if i just do it!#i have fun doodling them. and i hope everyone has a whimsical week ahead with good health and many smiles :)
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🤡 ⭐️ funny little cardigan 🌙 ❤️
maybe I'll actually dress up and style an outfit or something
#bo posting#my art#crochet#granny square#FINALLY TOOK BETTER PICTURES!!!!!!!!! AUGH#im still unbelievably proud of this#enjoy me never shutting up about it#its the first thing ive finished.... in months#and i feel like crying#ive been so envious of everyone around me being able to even hold a pen#and i had to chanel my creativity elsewhere and that was in this and this only#i was tired and felt guilty for how sick it made me feel to be in artistic spaces#or seeing my friends draw#like??? unproductive. helps no one?? 🗞💥🧠#so this was my solution#its the only creative thing thats made me happy in a long time#its the only creative thing that ive done for myself lately too#doing something creatively for other people has been hard#wahhhhhhh#i want to put my creative energy ive put into crochet into more things. i dont like how hard thats been#idky i havent been able to talk about it#like articulating it properly is one thing but like? never... even tried#i think it hit when it was the only thing i could tell my therapist that i could do that made me happy rn#the only expectations were my own#wow i did NOT intend to vent but hey thanks for reading 💏💖💋💞
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Ooh palettes 🥰 Jasper and Faith in either Malabar squirrel or cherry pie?
@darkfire1177 — [ palette prompts ]
✨ The Unplanned Variables ✨
#at the risk of accidentally making you cry again with my word. I gotta say it#I love you jay#I am so grateful every single day that we met and became as close we did#I absolutely adore you to bits#you are one of my bestest friends and I cherish every ounce of you#you always without fail brighten my days you are always so so much fun and I can't think of anyone else I laugh harder with#I have loved every moment of being by your side since last year and I can't image not having ya around#the impact you've made on me can't be put into words#and god I am so fucking proud of you every goddamn day I am proud of you#you're incredible#thank you for being my bestie and one of the most wonderful people I have ever met in my life#now enjoy some silly art of the rat bastard space girlfriends#faith and jasper truthers come and get ur fuckin FOOD#dual captains au#my art#the outer worlds#captain of the unreliable#friend oc#aly stop drawing characters at weird angles/poses that make me second guess everything challenge#if u see any of my typos. no u didn't. I'm totally sober and not crying rn
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the day the earth stood still is the day i felt your presence leave it, and then every day after that.
#tw grief#sigh sigh sigh.#apologies in advance as this is not the happiest yap ! i would just like to write out some of my feelings on this day#the heaviest heart weighs under an insurmountable amount of grief — the ghost of love#days like today are a twisted reminder that has every emotion flooding through your soul#longing . guilt . anger . an indescribable melancholy that could only be consoled through the sands of time#a year ago i lost my best guy friend and it’s never really gotten easier . but ive heard it never does#all i can do is bundle up the love i have for him and search for him in the clouds that take up the sky#the circumstances around his passing will never not haunt me and rather than go into it all i’d like to say is this#if you have a loved one or a relationship or a friendship you cherish .. then never ever stop fighting for it - for them.#as time never really seems to be on our side#each day i’ll live as he intended . to greet the world with kindness and a smile and passion for positivity#in his wisest words (or rather after every phone call we’d have hehe) i’ll try my best to stay awesome & encourage you all to do so as well#if you’ve read this then i’m taking your hand and thanking you#it didn’t feel right not acknowledging him at all on this blog . he’s the one that introduced me to anime + more importantly : one piece#i wish i could talk to him about it all so he could see how far down this rabbit hole i fell just as he had done#will be spending the day enjoying his favorite episodes and being gentle with the world that surrounds us#this is not like my usual yaps & i feel vulnerable posting it but i wanted to carve out a space for him on this blog#forever missing the connie to my sasha . maybe in another universe we’ll get it right#have a wonderful sunday my sweet friendz and if you can — hug your loved ones & blow a kiss up to the sky 🤍💫#thank you for being here & helping me make this a safe place .#₊˚⊹ ᰔ xoxo aims
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i think it's interesting how steph is like... the nerds see her as part of the popular group, and sure we see her talking to the cheerleaders a little, but other than that she doesn't really seem to be one of them in the truest sense? i could fully believe that she feels like the tiniest bit of an outcast there, like she's just cool enough for max to give her a pass but she doesn't really click with them that well. she feels to me like the bridge between the popular ones and the nerds, which is appropriate i suppose for her place in the story.
#idk i just keep turning this feeling around in my brain#that she doesn't Quite feel like she's actually proper friends with that lot#in my mind steph is pretty lonely before she starts talking to pete and by proxy the other nerds#like... i feel like the cheerleaders are friendly with her but they don't really Get each other#or enjoy each other's company That much#maybe even on their side there's some slight intimidation factor of her being the mayor's daughter and it's still a bit isolating#poor girl :(#but it's ok now she has real friends :]#... well. at least one. i honestly can't tell if pete and steph would even hang out with grace after everything#even ignoring The Ending And What That Implies#even if that didn't happen#i still don't think??? they would be besties with her#which is interesting for like. yknow. the main protag group who's been through everything together#npmd#nerdy prudes must die#hatchetfield#stephanie lauter
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This isn't connected to anything, but I thought of a random scene in the Everybody Loves Vox AU while I was relaxing this morning.
And I've decided that Alastor only criticizes and mocks things about Vox that he knows Vox will argue with him about, because he enjoys teasing and fighting.
But he's also super careful about not saying any preferences towards things about Vox that he could easily change, because he knows Vox's first instinct is to want to be liked and so he'd change whatever it is for Alastor’s (or anyone's, really) approval - but Alastor DOESN'T want Vox to do that, because that's boring. If he wanted someone to do whatever he says he'd ask one of his thralls - he likes that Vox does and likes and wears things he doesn't like or wouldn't do himself, because the differences are fun and entertaining and interesting.
And Vox only finds this out one day by complete accident because Alastor happens to find him relaxing after a shower (on a bed or a couch, just a surface they could lay down and cuddle on) and immediately decides to join him to cuddle. Like, laying entirely on him, shoving his head in his neck, the whole nine yards.
Vox is visibly confused because he KNOWS Alastor doesn't like to cuddle and is very particular about physical touch. (It's the one thing he's had to get used to since they've started "not dating." Part of the reason he stayed with Val for so long was because he enjoys physical contact with his partner, but he's adapted to Alastor’s lack of desire for it to the best of his ability.)
So Vox tries to tactfully ask what the hell is going on, because while he's really enjoying the cuddle he's Extremely Confused and would like an ounce of clarification.
And it turns out that Alastor hates his cologne and that THAT'S why he refuses to touch or cuddle him, to prevent the scent from getting on himself. (It's too strong, too much, it gives him a headache with his more sensitive sense of smell, etc etc).
Vox is like, "Were you ever going to TELL ME that?! What the hell, Alastor?! I don't have to fucking wear it if it bothers you that much!"
Alastor, grumbling, with his face still shoved in Vox’s chest, "No, I was not, because any time someone says anything, you immediately mold yourself into whatever that is, so I would appreciate you forgetting this conversation ever happened."
Vox, with one arm holding Alastor and his other hand pinching the spot between his eyes, "Absolutely the fuck not! Alastor. If I had to choose between over-priced colonge and you fucking TOUCHING ME, I'm fucking choosing you? What the hell, this is insane, I cannot believe we could've been cuddling this entire time. I'm fighting you when we're done because of this."
Vox absolutely ditches the colonge the first chance he gets, despite Alastor's protests.
I like to think that eventually Vox gets comfortable enough to NOT do his initial instinct of immediately changing himself towards Alastor's preferences, once he now knows that Alastor won't say anything - even if it's something he'd be happy to change - to keep him from doing exactly that.
(Also, I think Val tended to do the opposite, where he'd often criticize Vox until he does whatever he wants, so it's hard for him initially to not do the same for Alastor, and to realize that Alastor's mode of affection is softly bullying him but that Alastor dislikes it when he tries to change himself to appease).
It takes some trial and error until they find common ground between "changing anything your partner doesn't like" and "never saying anything you dislike to your partner." Neither of them are good at relationships, so it takes a bit.
(I just couldn't get the idea of Alastor refusing to get too close to Vox because his scent bothers him - and then the second he finds Vox without it he practically tries to bury under his skin to catch up on all the affection (and enjoying his natural scent) he can before Vox puts that scent back on. And never thinking, hey, maybe I should say something about that because he doesn't understand the difference between that and controlling Vox's personality.)
#long post#i reject the Alastor is touch averse headcanon tbh I just think he doesn't like to be touched by people he doesn't know or like#bc im the same if we're not friends or you don't have a valid reason don't touch me#but like i dont notice or care and enjoy contact with people i like#(or if there's a valid reason like at my current job? not many reasons. but when i worked at a fast food place? there's no space so. reason)#im just saying he had no issues being tossed around by rosie#i just think he prefers to control the contact with those he's not comfortable with but has no issues with those he is comfortable with#(also i am also sensitive to smell so ive decided Alastor is too. projection is fun 🫶)#i also think Vox is a very “crowd pleaser” personality which doesnt lend itself well to being true to his own wants and desires#and that Val absolutely used that to his advantage to get whatever he wanted from Vox#everybody loves vox au
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yall probably already guessed it but today is my decompression day where i dont play isat because its stressful and i dont wanna be stressed for a day
the only thing ive been doing is reading fluffy fanfics and playing minecraft and building a house via tutorial with calming music and its very therapeutic
#greching origins#isat reaction#youre gonna be surprised#(probably not really)#but i dont actually enjoy fighting/killing shit in games#like id do it if pressed but also Avoidance Is The Way#despite me waffling around that more characters should be unhinged yeah#so actually 'a little to the left' and 'unpacking' and powerwash simulator are my best friends.#satisfactory also#i loev. machine :>#wish i could present them to siffrin rn. i think he needs that actually now yeah but also in general#and mirabelle too id bet shed LOVE alttl for being able to pretty up things#...anyway today im not playing isat and maybe tomorrow too#done deal. sorry
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Hate to feel like my friendship is a precious and limited commodity that I have to carefully dole out to the most worthy recipients but. It is and I do.
#calculating whom to text this week bc i have to save one hang slot for my friend who's about to move ...#like oh i can do one of those girls i've been meaning to hang with but not both. and then there's my other friend who's about to move#and my one friend just got back from africa#and the one who had a baby might be socializing-ready again soon#(again this is why i don't follow more people and also why i'm cutting down on my following.#even my nascar tires are getting worn out too fast. many more people are deserving of love and attention#than I have love and attention to give#and that is in the hands of the Lord#this is maybe also why i've been more and more enjoying friendships that happen in brief trips and encounters!#the relief of being with someone for a whole weekend or week and that's all there is to do#and then we can leave each other mostly in peace until the next time#instead of having to constantly work at fitting one another in around the corners of normal life)#i know this is a problem many of you would desperately wish to have#and i'm praying for some of my wealth of cool christian women in my area to get spread to you
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Another day, another reminder that it was SJM and Bloomsbury themselves that confirmed Elain is an introvert:
Please, can we move on from this argument now?
#I’m seriously tired of this argument and the weird way people pin it on Elriels like we’re crazy for saying she’s introverted#it doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy social gathering and being talkative at times or like being around friends and family#introverted does not mean anti social#I’m an introvert myself and can only recharge my energy alone and in quiet spaces but I LOVE parties and gathering and hosting friends#I am LOUD and talkative with people I’m comfortable with#I am polite and converse at social gatherings and enjoy it#being an introvert does not mean I am sulking in a corner alone 24/7 not talking to anyone#elain archeron#pro elain archeron#acotar#a court of thorns and roses
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might be the aro in me but i think one of the reasons i don’t ship mattfoggy is because i enjoy the idea of platonic intimacy and friendship without romance. i enjoy them as best friends, because their friendship is not any less than romantic love or needs to be. especially for characters like them, i think it’s important that they have friendships that are not inherently romantic. matt, because he has severe abandonment trauma and avoidant attachment, where all of his romances have ended in some form of tragedy. he has trouble feeling comfortable with people, he feels like he has to perform in many aspects, and does not with foggy, at least not anymore. trust is a hard earned thing with him, but it’s not just about trusting with being a hero, but trusting to be himself. in regards to foggy, because he also has his own issues regarding family and not feeling accepted. he needs that friend who provides the motivation, validation, and feeling of being good enough just for being him. his insecurities often come from being underestimated, being awkward, not fitting in, and with matt he can just be. they’re able to have a relationship with each other that has rupture and repair, knowing eventually after time it’s them against conflict and not them against each other. they set the standard for each other in how romantic relationships are. they provide that safe place for love that doesn’t have the weight of being someone’s everything or partner. they’re already partners! they’re best friends. i personally am a little in love with all of my friends, and i am utterly devoted to them. i will be affectionate and supportive and loving and i am not dating them. so yeah i see how stuff could be read romantic, i understand why people enjoy the ship, i get it, i do. but it’s more powerful to me when it’s not. romance is not the end all be all and that’s why i am obsessed with their friendship without it being this stepping stone for romance or there being no other explanation.
#or maybe they’re in a QPR without it being labeled as such. that may be my new hc#i may even enjoy the hc that they did try to date for awhile and it wasn’t for them#but that’s also because i hate the idea that heteronormativity has that ppl cannot be friends with their exes#i’m also getting more into relationship anarchy because i think the focus on romance in our societies isn’t great#people irl and characters in fiction shouldn’t /need/ a romantic relationship to be fulfilled#it’s also why i don’t write my ships as super traditional with romance lmao#like no they aren’t living together. no they’re not getting married. no they’re not having a kid#their relationship does not adhere to all of these societal standards and expectations but it’s their’s and it’s real#they just enjoy each other for whatever time they have and that’s okay. they deserve that. they deserve that little break#they deserve to be able to rest and relax and no it’s not perfect but they feel understood and comfortable and it’s enough#it’s not full of pressure and this idea of scarcity. it’s because they genuinely enjoy being around each other#they’re their own people. whole and complete without each other. and then they find love and joy and comfort in each other#and it’s so special to them. their lives are constant chaos and they make time for each other bc those moments r precious to them#hell i hardly ever even label it lmfao they’re just doing stuff. they know what it is but if anybody asks it’s 🤷 who knows#and maybe that’s because of my own queerness and how it influences my writing but it’s just something i think i’ve noticed#anyways#matt murdock#foggy nelson#matt and foggy#fanfiction#amatonormativity#shipping#queer platonic ship#comics inspired#nmcu inspired#/rant#bun.txt
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