#and I believe only Nicky is stupid enough to actually ask this

[chaoticas-hell]

Nicky: hey today's June 1st right?

Aaron: yeah

Nicky: does that mean it's April fools day?

Aaron:

Andrew:

Aaron:

Andrew: how are you this stupid?

[siriusblackisdead]

The foxes ice skating

Neil

While Neil’s skating abilities are NOT olympic-worthy, his balance is unbelievably strong and thanks to that he would be able to skate good enough for the other foxes to ask him where he learned it.

He would enjoy it SO much that the foxes decided to go to the nearest ice rink every weekend during winter, which made Kevin have about fifteen temper tantrums (not like anyone cared much) about how they had to be preparing for the championships and how much of a stupid thing ice skating was (he just couldn’t stay in a vertical position on the ice for more than 30 seconds). They still went every Saturday tho.

Neil would also make the most out of pocket “jokes” (trauma dumping) such as ‘well skating is surely easier than having to run and drive a car with a knife in the stomach being followed by the people of your murderous serial killer father’ or when he would fall and someone would ask him if he was okay he would be like ‘oh yeah it definitely hurts less than that time when my father decided to burn my skin off with a flatiron’. The foxes would be terrified. Andrew would sigh every time (he loves his boyfriend so much)

Andrew

He would not like the ice but he likes Neil so he’d end up on the ice anyway

His skating abilities are not a total disaster but since he’s a little scared of losing his balance he is not very stable, so they always hold hands with Neil (they act like it’s purely of romantic reasons but 80% of it is just Andrew holding onto Neil for dear life)

He would always wear a green hat Neil had bought him (Kevin and Nicky would find it oh so amusing until Andrew colored half of their wardrobe green while they were on a training (there is no way Neil had helped him not at all)

Kevin

A fucking TERRIBLE skater. Every time he would step on ice it would be a fight for life and for the first time in his life he would NOT be winning. The foxes would give him so much shit for it and he would hate it (but he would still go because he would see Neil smiling and being happy and careless and Kevin would love to see that boy finally happy that he just couldn’t NOT go)

Aaron

Aaron would not like skating but would have to put up with it because if he didn’t he would be the only one left out (Katelyn made him)

He would hold hands with Katelyn and hold onto her for support just like Neil and Andrew and when they find out they are both furious. Neil and Katelyn find it hilarious.

He would try to trip Kevin (every time he would manage to stay standing for the shortest moment at least) and would mostly success, even though in the end he would most of the time fall with him as well (Katelyn somehow manages to let go of his hand every time (such bad luck isn’t it) (now for real she is a little devil and enjoys seeing Aaron fall. There is just something so funny about him cursing in both English and German as he tries to find out which leg is his and which is Kevin’s. She still helps him stand up (mostly))

Nicky

He would be actually so good at it but he would be so scared of falling that he would refuse to let go of the glasses at the sides of the rink for the first few times

Then Allison would grow tired of it and would take Nicky’s skating into her hands

It would be an exhausting and traumatizing experience but in the end he would be able to stand on the ice like a decent human being and after an hour or so he would remember everything he learned in Germany with Erik (Allison would be pretty angry when she found out he already knew how to skate and was just a ‘scared little whining child’ as she called him)

After that he would be some of the best ones among the foxes

Matt & Dan

I believe that when Matt was still living with his mother, he was playing hockey as a hobby and he actually used to love it so much until his father decided to fuck him up and he left the hockey team

So he would be good at it and he and Dan would make the biggest power couple out there since Matt used to go skating sometimes in his free time after leaving his father and would teach Dan how to play hockey, which she found just as interesting as Matt and enjoyed it just the same.

They would be those people who you are afraid to step on a same rink with, scared of being ran over by their speed (they never ran anyone over tho (or not by accident))

Allison

When she was little her parents made her train as a professional ice skater and she would show off her abilities as much as she could (no way she was trying to amaze Renee no it wouldn’t be that no way)

She would be able to do every spin known to man but could not jump for the sake of her life which made her furious (especially because of Jean)

She would try to teach Dan some steps but would soon give up and help Renne stand instead

Renee

She would be actually quite good for standing on ice the first time in her life

Like it would not be perfect but she could at least stand alone and wouldn’t need to hold Allison’s hand the whole time (Allison totally mocks Andrew and Aaron about it every time they meet. “You both are SO lame just look at my fucking wife and see how it’s supposed to be done, like in a year or so she could go to the Olympics while you both will still be here falling on your asses every time Katelyn or Neil let go of you, so pathetic…” and Renne would smile and blush every time)

She would be the one person that would help you stand up every time you fall (even Kevin) but would trip Aaron only because she can (he would never find out it was her and that’s the best part about it all)

Jean

Because yes I’m totally counting Jean in he would go with them argue with the wall

He would be the BEST ice skater ever seen to man

That man could go to Olympics the next Monday and win and do one would be surprised

Before he was sent (sold) to the Moriyamas he was training to be an ice skater and he loved everything about it. He planned a whole future, decided that he would go pro one day and did everything to achieve that (only to get that dream destroyed by exy (he actually hated exy first because of that but grew fond of after accepting the fact that his ice skating dream was never going to happen)

He would be SO good at jumps and would do them as if they were nothing and would grin at Allison every time he effortlessly did one (she would curse at him every time and have a smaller temper tantrum and Andrew would start joking about how she is starting to turn into another Kevin)

He would also teach is boyfriend (Jeremy) and after a few weeks of watching Kevin die again every week he would try and teach the bastard too, which finally strengthened up their friendship (and saved Kevin)

[valiantsword]

     arthur can’t help the way he leans into that touch.  each twirl of astoria’s finger in his hair sends a shiver down his spine.  he never wants it to end; this closeness.  this indescribable connection with someone else that has nothing to do with euphoria or body chemicals.  something is alive in his soul for the first time in a very, very long time.  to think that she doesn’t even know all of his yet because, yes, there are those secrets she was talking about.  everything was potentially unlocked with the small immortality tidbit.

     and, maybe, if that was just his secret to bear he would tell her right in this moment.  lords knew he felt safe enough to do so.  this went way beyond him, though.  it was desi’s secret, too.  vinny’s.  it  was joe and nicky and andy’s.  for fuck’s sake, it was even booker’s.  sure, arthur could omit their stories from his.  part of the draw to astoria, however, was her intelligence.  he had no doubt that, at the very least, she’d connect that dot relatively quickly.  desi was the one who wanted the book, afterall.  

     “ felt very complicated at the time, “ arthur muses.  the tip of his nose drifts against her skin and he can’t help but close his eyes to enjoy the sensation.  he’d never told anyone about lancelot.  not since myrddin way back when he was still, what, a mortal man?  none of the guard knew.  they made jokes from various renditions of his story but he’d never actually admitted to anything.  it wasn’t their business no matter how much he wanted to connect to someone about that part of his life.  “ and i fully understand that relationships look different for everyone.  polyamory comes in a lot of different but i was too stubborn or stupid to see the damage i was doing. “  

     that’s what really made him sad.  someone had to shove his nose in it and tell him he was being an idiot before it really hit home.  before that he attributed all the arguments and the silence and the bitterness to the stress of everything that was happening.  communicate.  who knew that was the answer to all his problems.

     thank you, was left unspoken.  rather than break the silence he gave astoria the same courtesy she’d given him; time to think.  as he waits for her side of the request his head tilts to the side to take in the way the light shines off her skin.  the hidden scars come back to him making his jaw click into place.  only cowards treated people that way.  only cowards bent their authority to be that kind of cruel.  arthur finds himself wondering again if ‘ disappeared ‘ meant dead.  he’d wanted to ask on more than one occasion in their short time together but didn’t want to take astoria to that place their mention seems to take her.  time would tell him either way.

     the cold comment is a surprise.  arthur’s head tilts to the other side as if he could get to the heart of that comment.  what made her that way?  what made astoria believe she had to be that way?  arthur’s stupid for thinking such a thing because he was just lingering on those scars.  how else would she hold the world after being introduced to it that way?  at that, the immortal can’t help but lean in for another kiss.  there’s hunger behind it but there’s also a gentleness that’s meant to reflect she doesn’t have to face those things alone.  whatever transpired between them he’d always be there for her even if that meant coming back into her life thirty years down the road and fielding a number of questions as to why he looked like he hadn’t aged a day.

     “ we are what the world makes of us, “ he tilts his head forward so his forehead presses against her cheek.  the immortal goes silent again, giving astoria the decency of really thinking through what she’d said.  whether he was alone or with the guard he dealt with lying and cheating pretty commonly.  with the sums of money they were often paid it was common for someone to try and weasel their way out of paying the entire amount.  even desi thought lying was more kind than shoving a pike in someone’s face.  arthur personally felt it depended on the circumstances.  if the coffee’s terrible then someone absolutely needed to know the coffee’s terrible.  no sugar coating that one, so to speak.  broken hearts or saving life?  much more wiggle room on that one, especially where lying and cheating are concerned.

     arthur shifts, using an arm to pull astoria as flush as both their bodies would allow.  an arm goes around her waist to anchor himself down.  “ there’s no reason not to believe you, “ the immortal whispers.  he was the last person to judge another what they did to survive.  considering the mission they were on together he also couldn’t imagine what lying about any of this would get her.  if she wanted to steal the book she could’ve done it without saying anything at all.  no, this was more than that.  this felt more like two people being thrown for a loop by a connection they never anticipated.  “ and i am more than okay with every part of you.  whatever you deem to be good, bad, and ugly.  “

     shifting his gaze over her expression, arthur finds himself smiling a little wider.  two lost souls finding solace in each other.  sounds like the stuff that asshat malory was trying to capture when he got the whole king arthur bit wrong.  “ i take you, astoria, “ he lets one of his hands flatten over her heart.  “ and all that you are.  there is no perfect version of you in my head.  i haven’t known you long enough to even build one.  i want you as i’ve seen you these past few days.  i want all the honesty you’ve blessed me with and everything you haven’t said yet or might not ever say. everything else we’ll figure out as it comes, yeah? “

She is so far out of her depth. There is something between them, and she swears she can see it: delicate, shimmering, like one of her gossamer threads tying all the magic in the world together. If she wove her fingers into it, she could pull it tighter. There is an urge, wild and self-destructive, to wreck this before it can really happen, to say something callous or to hint that this will fail and plant the seeds of doubt. It's easier than it usually is to ignore.

(Iain is gentle; Iain is always gentle, even when he's furious with her, and it always makes her feel a little sick, like she's lashing out against something defenseless. It's not your fault, he's saying, and his tone makes it clear that he really doesn't blame her. You're just—Ast, you're not built for it. It's okay. Some people just aren't. She wishes he'd yell at her, or call her a bitch, or at the very least, stop sounding so fucking kind about it. Maybe someday you will be, but don't we both deserve better than to wait god knows how long until that happens? That's not love. That's masochism. She's barely felt anything since calling it off, but she feels it then, a disquieting rush of self-doubt, and Iain, damn him, has the decency to leave so she can cry in peace, and worst of all, he doesn't even blame her that the only tears she sheds have nothing to do with him.)

Arthur falls silent, as if confused by the question, and Astoria simply waits. She's always enjoyed physicality, but this feels different, somehow. It's almost electric. There aren't any butterflies in her stomach but she feels wonderfully warm, like a cat curled up in a sunbeam. Her fingers slip into his hair, curling aimlessly in the blond strands, and she takes note of every visible scar on his face, his arms, as if she's trying to map out the story on his skin. There's no more guessing, now—the mention of a wife still comes as a bit of a surprise, though the thought of a marriage bed shared with their friend doesn't. Something in the back of her mind whispers that Arthur must have lost him, too, perhaps at the same time he lost his wife and son, or maybe in the aftermath, their bond severed by grief rather than death. A story for another time, she's sure. He's bared enough for her tonight, and she won't push.

And, shit, she could get used to the sight of that smile, warm and real as it is. "Loving one person like that is rare," she says quietly, and her lips curl up in an answering smile. "Loving two is miraculous. It's not that complicated. I'm glad you had that." But you're not answering my question, she wants to point out. This is about what you need, not what I might. Then again, it's a deceptively difficult question to answer, and she imagines it's even worse when it's asked of a man who carries that much concern for the people around him.

(I mean—what did you expect? He's a nice boy. Her mother waves a hand in her usual way, casual and callous in one breath. Count yourself lucky it lasted four years. A man with better self-preservation instincts wouldn't have made it through one. If it occurs to her that the words might be hurtful, she doesn't show it; instead, she stands, graceful and lithe, and weaves around the sofa where her daughter is curled up to refill her glass. You're like me, little one. We're not capable of it. She means it as an observation, maybe even a compliment, but it feels like a condemnation. Astoria doesn't speak much the rest of the night. Her mother doesn't notice.)

"But—yes. I can do that." She's not shy; she doesn't bite her tongue for anyone else's sake anymore. She had enough of that long ago. The fact that he's so willing to confess to his faults before he's had a chance to show them, to head off any failure of communication or any lapse in partnership with that kind of honesty, very nearly has her dizzy. It makes sense, if she thinks about it; probably from a military family, probably even with a father who prioritized self-sufficiency over vulnerability. The weight of the world is so much heavier when you know you're holding it alone. The wound opened even by a well-intended parent takes time to heal.

What does she need? Patience, understanding, good faith. What everyone needs. She means to crack a joke and try to change the subject, almost as if out of fear that she'll find some way to explain that she decided years ago that needing something from anyone was an unforgivable weakness, and one she's spent years trying to train herself out of. Instead, when she opens her mouth to speak, something else falls from her tongue.

"I'm cold." Yes, that's the best way to describe it. "I'm not fishing for compliments. It's a statement of fact. I'm not bothered by it." Cold and alive beats out soft and dead every time, but truth be told, she's been this way for longer than she's been hurt. "One life for hundreds, like you said, that's how I think. And if it comes down to someone I care about, then I'll choose them over any number. I don't lose sleep over it. There are lines I don't cross—and I don't have the stomach for cruelty, most of the time—but I also know that I'm probably capable of it if the need arises.

"And it's not just me being awful. I mean, sometimes, I am." She's rambling. She stops, takes a breath, lets her smile quirk into something crooked. "Everyone is. But I have reasons for what I do and you don't have to like them and I'll be happy to debate all goddamn day, and I'm not opposed to being convinced when an argument is good."

The fingers in his hair tug gently, playfully. "With your work being what it is I don't see it being that much of a problem if I'm willing to bend rules and lie and cheat to get a job done. And by some weird and wonderful miracle you are the first person in ages I've been so consistently honest with, so just—I don't know. Believe me when I tell you who I am. There's no selfless and morally sound version of me to uncover, no matter how soft I inevitably become with you." She pauses, shifts nearer to him, as if any distance right now is too much. She isn't used to this kind of vulnerability; what a wonder to find she enjoys it when it's with him. "Is that okay?"

[aftgficrec]

what are your (new or old) fake dating andreil favs?

Love some fake dating!  Here’s a nice long list of previously recommended fics from which we’ve pulled some favourites, plus some new fics getting their first mention here.  Have a great time reading! - S

Also see …

long cute fake dating here

fake dating (K)andreil here

‘In My Defense, I Have None’ here (completed) (feat. fake dating Jean & Neil, leading to Andreil)

‘Let the bells ring on a fool’s holiday’, ‘I Found Love Where It Wasn’t Supposed to Be’ and ‘For He’s a Jolly Good Felon’ here

‘You've Begun to Feel Like Home’ here

‘Fake It ’Til You Make It’ here

‘Married to the Game’ here

‘At The Prince's Behest’ here

‘Bittersweet & Sugar Free’ here

‘Friday Night Big Screen’ here

‘Wanted: Random Guy’ here

‘For Better or For Worse’ here

‘Heaven We're Already Here’ here

‘Chemistry Experiments’ here

‘The Bodyguard’ here

‘Like A River’ here

‘I'll Follow You (into the light)’ here

‘If it puts food on the table then so be it.’ here

‘stone heart (broken open)’ here

New recs:

A Thousand For a Kiss & Fifty Cents For Your Soul by NikNak22 [Rated M, 11619 words, incomplete, last updated July 2022]

Neil Josten and Andrew Minyard, two movie stars in their own right, have never had the pleasure of working together - and neither is sure if this is a good or a bad thing. But when Kevin Day comes calling, providing a unique opportunity, they both jump at it. Cautiously, they begin filming together for the first time on set, both slow to trust and quick to deny the spark burning between them.

But as time goes on, neither can continue pretending that what they feel is an act. That they're merely playing a part. Not when they've both been given a glimpse of what can happen when you overcome the fear of being known and finally let someone else in.

tw: panic attacks, tw: homophobia

racing hearts by josten_minyard [Rated T, 3486 words, complete, Aftg Summer Exchange 2022]

Andrew asks Neil to go on a date - only, it's a fake date, to enter a running competition (couples only) for a chance to win the golden prize of a month of free ice cream. Still, Neil will take what he can get.

Now, if only he could get his stupid feelings under control.

Fire and Ice by alexis_needs_sleep [Not Rated, 26400 words, complete, 2022]

Andrew was Neil’s best friend in the whole world. When his usual friend-date canceled on him, he knew Andrew would be the perfect person to keep him company at his track team's banquet. What started as one friend-date spiraled into several dates and an entire fake relationship, which Neil was 100% sure was the most convincing fake relationship that ever existed. All he had to do was not tell Andrew that he was actually in love with him the whole time. Easy enough, right?

Just for Show by butitknewme [Rated T, 1294 words, incomplete, last updated June 2022]

alison turned abruptly towards andrew from her perch on a stool, and asked suddenly: “is it true you’re dating neil?”

neil was, in that moment, infinitely grateful for andrew’s persistent poker face and their friends’ collective inability to see past it. to neil, he saw the slow blink, the register of surprise, the flick of his eyes toward neil’s. to alison, all she saw was unshakeable apathy.

“yes.”

though the answer shouldn’t have come as a surprise (neil knows how much andrew loves to create chaos, and how unwilling he would be to throw neil under the bus), the easy response still sent a jolt down neil’s spine. it must be because it's the first time he’s heard andrew lie.

masking his own surprise, he turned to nicky and alison, hands spread before him. “see? i can’t believe you guys thought i was lying.”

----

or the one in which neil josten fake dates his best friend andrew minyard... and it goes about as well as you would expect.

Old(ish) faves:

Read between the lines series by butallmystars [Rate E/T, 39169 words, complete, 2022]

Part 1:  Read between the lines (E, 32722 words)

In which Neil has a work conference across the globe and Andrew is not above lying to corporate for a week in Italy with his best friend.

Part 2: I wasn't pretending (T, 6447 words)

Read between the lines chapter five from Neil’s point of view. Radio silence, the gala & drunk texting.

A Book for Christmas by CurvedYellowFruit [Rated T, 13736 words, complete, 2021]

Andrew joins an online book club to stave off boredom. None of the other book club members have any opinions worth engaging with, but one person is particularly infuriating. Andrew decides he hates Smart_Alec10 - right up until he suddenly doesn’t. Cue adoptive-parent Nicky pestering Andrew about Christmas dinner, and you have a recipe for fake dating and a trope-filled Christmas.

dating & other disasters by lolainslackss, moonix [Rated T, 51086 words, complete, 2019, locked]

Andrew thought it couldn't get any worse than having to watch Neil go on disastrous date after disastrous date with other people. Until Neil had the bright idea that they should fake date to mess with their friends.

tw: alcohol

Nine Weddings and No Funerals by gluupor [Rated T, 28578 words, complete, 2019]

Neil's just been unceremoniously dumped by his longtime boyfriend before a busy wedding season where it seems like everyone he knows is tying the knot. Desperate not to look like a pathetic loser in front of his ex, he goes along with a plan to bring along a fake boyfriend to the weddings. Since neither Neil nor his date Andrew are interested in pursuing a relationship, there's no chance that anyone's feelings will be hurt.

tw: acephobia

The Bokeh Effect by fuzzballsheltiepants [Rated T, 13239 words, complete, 2019]

Neil is struggling as a freelance photographer when the opportunity of a lifetime presents itself. Unfortunately, a casual lie told during his initial interview leaves him scrambling to find a "partner" ASAP. His best option? His ex-best friend/ex-roommate, who ghosted him the day after graduation.

Neil is in some serious trouble.

[tressasinterlude]

𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 #𝟑: Female Public Figures Dating Men with Questionable Views That Contradict Their Image & Alleged Politics

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗖𝗟𝗔𝗜𝗠𝗘𝗥: These rant blog posts are really just reflective of my thoughts at the time that I make them and are posted here because I need an outlet to release all of this shit I have going on my busy ass mind. That’s it and that’s all. Now let’s get into it..

This rant was greatly inspired by none other than Ms. Robyn Rihanna “Tell Your Faves To Pull Up [in regards to social injustices directly affecting black people]” Fenty and her openly colorist boyfriend, A$AP Rocky. Aside from the fact that Rihanna tends to slip under the radar and is never held accountable for her problematic ways due to her conventional beauty (i.e. Her heavy usage of anti-Asian slurs, particularly targeted towards Chris Brown’s ex gf, Karrueche), it’s very alarming that a woman who has an entire makeup brand with a campaign based around the inclusivity of ALL black women is publicly flaunting a beau who once said that DSBW do not look good with red lipstick.

And yes, I’m very much aware that Rakim said this tasteless comment over 8 years ago but from the looks of it, not much has really changed with him. Don’t @ me about it neither because I don’t care.

Also peep how he compares a hypothetical darkskinned woman to a man (Wesley Snipes) while trying to explain how his antiblackness isn’t wrong because he said something about white women as well. Gaslighting at its finest. Don’t you just love it! 😀

Furthermore, you would think that somebody of Rihanna’s level of stature would know not to associate themselves with someone as messy as A$AP Rocky but... Stupid is what stupid does, I guess! I can’t even begin to place the blame on him anymore because he’s revealed his true colors and we all have made the deliberate choice to either accept it or don’t and have discontinued all support for him. Unfortunately, misogynoir is never the dealbreaker for most people and the hatred for [dark-skinned] black women is so engrained in society that it’s frowned upon when we publicly speak out against it. Very ass backwards if you ask me but that’s society for you. Now, enough about that. Let’s focus back on Ms. Vita La Coco.

As a woman who claims to be a girl’s girl and is always presenting herself to be someone who is the epitome of a pro-black feminist bad ass, it just makes her alleged activism come off so disingenuous when she’s also laying down with the same man that actively attacks the demographic she’s supposed to be standing in solidarity with. It’s “Black Lives Matter” on the IG posts but your vagina is getting moist for a man who openly stated he doesn’t relate to what goes on in Ferguson because he lives in Soho & Beverly Hills. Ferguson being the exact place where a 17-year-old black boy’s lifeless corpse laid on the hot concrete for FOUR hours after he was murdered by a police officer. He couldn’t 'relate' to the fate of so many black men, women, and children who are murdered or seriously injured from state-sanctioned violence because they’re poor and he is not or so he thought.

But then again, what can I really expect from a woman who identified as being “biracial” until as recent as roughly 6 years ago? What can I really expect from a woman who called Rachel Dolezal a ‘hero’ for cosplaying as a black woman? I’d be lying if I said my expectations for her were high in this regard because sis has always shown us she was lacking in this department. And just for the record, this is not a personal attack on Rihanna at all for the die-hard Navy stans in the back. I admire her latest fashions and bop my head to her music just like the next person but she’s getting the side-eye from me on this one.

Trust and believe me though, she’s not the only woman who I can call out for being a hypocrite. Of course not! This stone can be cast at a few others. So without further ado, why don’t we bring Ms. Kehlani Parrish to the front of the congregation? Prior to Kehlani’s recent declaration of identifying as a lesbian, her last public relationship with a man was with YG. Yes, the same YG who felt it was necessary to say him & Nipsey had ‘pretty light-skinned’ daughters to raise in the middle of his deceased friend’s memorial. By the way, Nipsey’s daughter is not even light (or at least not in my book anyways.) She’s a very deep caramel tone just like her father which makes what he said even more moronic. Yes, the same YG who thought it was clever idea to use slavery as an aesthetic for a music video to a diss track about 6ix9ine. And yes, also the same YG who has derogatory lyrics targeted at bisexual women. Just to end up sweating the red carpets with one. I swear the jokes just continue to write themselves.

This raises the question once more; How high of a pedestal can I really put a multiracial woman who has a song titled ‘N*ggas’ and when received backlash for the song in question, she used the ultimate ‘I’m mixed’ copout while not having a visibly black parent in sight?

It’s also kind of suspicious to me that many were not privy to Kehlani’s secret romance with Victoria Monét (pictured bottom right) until Victoria did an interview with Gay Times revealing she fell in love with a girl but they subsequently broke up because Victoria had a boyfriend and that girl was pregnant in a polyamorous relationship. Fans began to speculate because both Victoria & Kehlani previously candidly spoke about their sexual orientations, Kehlani had just had Adeya and they both were seemingly close. Their short-lived fling would later be confirmed when Victoria released the song ‘Touch Me’ on her last project and Kehlani hopped on the remix. Meanwhile, Kehlani’s relationship with Shaina (pictured bottom left) was very overt and all over her Instagram feed from my recollection. And as you can see, Shaina looks absolutely nothing like Victoria. They look like the complete opposite of eachother in every aspect which is kind of alarming(?) to say the least because why is it that the women she proudly claims as her partners tend to have a very racially ambiguous look such as herself but her ‘sneaky links’ on the other hand are undoubtedly black women? Again, it could just be me jumping conclusions. You know, I’m kinda good for that however something tells me I’m not. Y’all be the judge of the material though.

Last but not least, I’d like to touch on Ms. Raven Tracy very briefly. I was very weary about even including in this segment and if I should just put her in a entirely separate blog post with other women who openly date abusers despite their checkered past (alongside Nicki Minaj & her r*pist murderer of a husband, India Love & Sheck Wes etc.) being this particular blog post was based around the theme of lightskinned/mixed women dating men with extremely problematic views about DSBW. Raven obviously isn’t lightskinned or mixed however I refused to ignore how contradictory her [former] relationship with an alleged (I used this word very loosely and mainly for legality purposes.) serial r*pist while promoting a brand that is all about feminism & body positivity. This also traces back to A$AP Rocky by default being that Ian Connor is his very close friend and he came to Connor’s defense when several women came forward detailing accounts of Connor allegedly s*xually assaulting them. (I wish I could place the actual video of what A$AP Rocky said verbatim but Tumblr only allows one video per blog post. 🙄)

Back in June of this year, Ian & Raven had a back & forth on Twitter after Ian tweeted about Raven “fucking everybody” behind his back. I can only assume that he was alluding to Tori Brixx posting a video of her ex, Rich the Kid & Raven kissing on her story. Disgusted is not even the word to describe my feeling when she admitted she stuck by Ian despite of his many allegations of s*xual abuse because she loved him and her being a empath causes her to want to help everybody. Imagine aiding and abetting a predator and even paying for his bail & legal fees just to turn around and expect sympathy because this same individual cheated on you and exploited you all over Twitter for the public to see. The same man that you would get back with not even a WEEK after the fact & turn off your IG comments because it isn’t our “business” after making it our business...

That being said, I just genuinely want to know: Why do these women completely go against what they stand for in regards to these men? Maybe it was never genuine from jump street and if that’s the case, why jump on the bandwagon of performative activism? Is it because it’s profitable right now? Is it because disrespecting black women is not an immediate death sentence to your careers and more often than not actually helps you advance even further? I guess that’s the billion dollar question that’ll never truly be answered. I just want the world to stop using black women as their stepping stool to get to where they need to go and then discarding of us when we’re no longer beneficial. Support us all the way or don’t support us at all. We deal with enough disrespect as is so we’d appreciate if y’all would stop straddling the fence and partake in your misogynoir out loud if that’s what you choose to do. We have no use for fake allyship and quite frankly, it’s doing more harm for us than good. Please and thank you!

Sincerely,

- 𝙼𝙸𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝙳𝙶𝙰𝚁 𝙰𝙻𝙻𝙴𝙽 𝙷𝙾𝙴. 💋

[monstas1ut2]

1/3 (Eren Yeager)

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Bitches is my sons, that's why I be like, "Chile"

Chile, chile, chile, chile, ch-i-i-i-chile

At the lowest volume, Nicki was spitting bars. The LED lights on the brightest red there's to come as the window was covered with black out curtains. It happened to be bright outside but who opens their curtains at 8 am in the morning..? People who are productive and that's not you.

"Don't spend hours in there, brat."

A pout came onto your face, almost sucking your teeth... it wasn't going to be long until you were finished. Nonetheless though, your father always thinks you take hours to get ready to go somewhere.

"Im not ,daddy... Ion even wear makeup no more.. so it won't take long.."

Leaning towards the mirror, and pressing the lipgloss tip against your soft lips, your thoughts came around to your father.

Levi Ackerman, he's a short male who is quite intimidating, he IS intimidating. Despite his height, he's always winning a battle, whether it's verbal or physical. Which is why you always fail to win an argument against him. This was noticeable when you moved to his house ten months ago.

Before living with Levi, you were living with Hange.

Hange co-parents with Levi, the two were never together but they kept you happy and they are both Mom and Dad to you. The two are so different though. Hange would let you skip school, get ready late, almost everything in the book. She had to stop you from getting a sugar daddy though-

Levi is strict, he doesn't want anyone or thing touching his pretty Princess. Yes you're not biologically his but he still is your father, the only one you'd ever had. He taught you things, showed you the great life. He tried to get you to speak a bit more proper but he just stopped, oddly enough, he wanted you to embrace everything you had to offer.

It was a pain learning about your background, Hange was bad at doing anything for you as well. In result of this, your hair has dreads. Watching YouTube videos was Levi's new thing when you were younger. He managed to skillfully put dreads in your hair and... now they look quite amazing. Very long and pretty on you.

That's something you embrace, those pretty dreads. Knowing that your father put them in first , is one reason as to never take them out.

"I'm done, and, Mom said stop ignorin her... she wanna have a picture of me.. since it's my last year I guess.. ion know.. but she blowin up my phone.."

A bit of a smile casting on your brown skinned face. Fiddling with the phone in your hand. Today you were wearing a Jean like skirt and a black top to go with. Your med-long nails being a mix of white and gold, it complimented the melanin of your skin.

Levi glared at his phone that was vibrating on the nearest table and he'd sighed inwardly. Hange was so excited for your last year, while Levi was not. He also hates the fact that you are now going to the same school that he works at... the only bad thing being... the men there are complete perverts and prudes.

"Tell that bratty friend of yours to do it-"

"Connie isn't a brat, he just a lil mental..."

A lot of bald guys seemed to be mental, or is that just... stereotypical to say? Eh, either way, your Connie was mental. The guy was hilarious, he always knows how to put a smile on your face. Even though you two used to be fairly seperated. You now go to his school so at least you'll have one friend to lean on.

"dad, can you at least be happy for me...? It's my last year of school, not my last year of me bein in ya house.. cuz ion know how to cook... or do adult stuff.." a sheepish smile came upon your face, just staring at your father who happened to be suppressing a smile. He eventually did not though, but... you are the only person who can make him smile..

"I know, you burned down a kitchen before.." An evil smirk cascaded on his pale face. He knew that would hit you where it hurts, considering you were now silent but squinting your eyes playfully. It definitely wasn't Levi's kitchen, it was Hange's kitchen.. she had to get it remodeled.

Honestly, Levi liked that you couldn't cook, that way, douche bag men will stay away from you and it'll prevent them from making you barefoot and pregnant in a kitchen... he overthinks okay?

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Gripping your wrist ever so tightly, the two of you were walking towards the huge school. It was more of a modern taste, probably because the school was built only 6 years ago. The scale of the school had caused your body to overheat from anxiety. So actually, Levi was pulling you towards the school, no effort needed.

Once that door was open, it was all over. The main entrance had a pretty scenery. It was pictures and everything, though something that was odd was that black people were limited, looked like-

Okay okay, you're overthinking, but this school really doesn't have black people. If they do, they are in sports... which is why there was a man constantly talking on and on about female's basketball team...

You have to admit, you are a stallion.

"She doesn't want to be on the team... Shadis... stop yelling in her face.."

A bit of a concerned smile came upon your face as you glanced towards your father. Who only gave a soft look towards you. Levi may be insensitive at times but when it comes to you being nervous.. he's there.

"Where the hell is the principle..." Levi grumbled under his breath, he was quite late for his class.. but he had to make sure you were going to be fine.. like the worried father he is.

And Like on cue, a fine.. smexy blonde man came from the back door of the front office.. oooh.

His eyebrows were thick and he had this smile on his face. Like he knew who you were, though at the same time he probably already did. This man was in pictures at home, Levi knew him personally.

Apparently this man changed your diaper when you were little too.. so.. low chance of him seeing you any different..

Principal Smith... oohhh

"Levi, I told you yesterday, she'll be fine in my hands.. I can make sure she gets to every class. I'll also make sure nobody messes with her.." Erwin hummed out, knowing these words that came from Levi last week. His voice was deep and sincere, his pretty blue eyes glancing you over.. gawd oh mighty.

"And?" Levi's eyes squinted hard, his face quite serious about the last statement that Erwin seemed to pass by... or forgotten.. Man, someone would think Levi is the principal... and not Erwin.

"I'll make sure Yeager stays away from her.."

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

The bell had rung oh so suddenly, the anxiety in you causing you to need to go to the bathroom but... your ancestors had to come down.

They whispered into your ear and explained that you are the baddest bitch in the world. Nobody can take that away from you, nor can the stupid anxiety.

"This is my daughter, (Y/n)... "

The baddest bitch with anxiety...

Every single eye was on you, in front of the class... it was obvious that most were just curious about you, mixed with shocked. When they heard the other day about getting a new student, they figured that it'll be someone... like them. At the same time though.. they could get used to the.. balance of the room.

The window across the room was beaming on your brown skin and it happened to make you look like a goddess. Your lipgloss sparkling as you glanced around, a soft smile on your face. Honestly, that only happened because of the fact that.. your bald friend was waving to you..

Connie...

The other day, a deal was made... Between you and your father. Who is also now your teacher for first period.

The deal was, you clean your room spotless and you get to sit next to Connie in class. Guess who succeeded?...

Your arms wrapped around male as he was blushing a tad. Being almost manhandled by you was everyone's dream at the moment. Especially a male who was behind you and Connie's table. He had this cool haircut, his face was long too but it fit his features.

"Why is she hugging the egg..."

"Jean you're just jealous.." the person who said this happened to be playing with their pencil. She had black hair and.. freckles.. it was cute. She looked mean though.

"Okay and..?"

Connie then began to of course, show off his best friend.. who happened to be you. Apparently what happened was that he told everyone about you one day. Nobody believed him, and Jean being the asshole he is.., he wanted answers so he -reluctantly- asked Levi if he had a daughter...

They weren't expecting someone like you...

Nor was.. this brown haired male who had his eye on you ever since you came in. His intimidating... blue, greenish looking eyes.. it's not something you failed to realize... but at the same time, you could feel your father's eyes as well.

"That's Eren over there, by Armin and Mikasa... he's a little coo-coo... so just talk to Armin and Mikasa.. then that's Bert , Annie, and Reiner, and Ymir, Jean, Sasha is the one eating and Historia.."

Honestly, you were never one to listen to someone when they say don't do something... Connie said don't talk to Eren... but some how... with the fluttering of your eyelashes.. you gave the long haired boy a wink. The wink sending him a burst of confidence that he already had..

it just got worse..

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ Masterlist 2

[ninyard]

part two of the stefan/andrew au PLEASE

WELP this might not be the part two people wanted but here’s what I wanted so~ enjoy!

(Part 1 ? is here)

((this got rly long so I had to stop but if u want a third part lmk 🥺👉👈))

Neil made his first mistake by not bolting the opposite way when Coach Hernandez told him he had visitors. An Exy racquet to the chest and a single glance at those bright hazel eyes turned Neils entire world sideways in seconds. This couldn’t be happening. Neil almost couldn’t hold back the ‘Andrew?’ that wished to escape his lips. Of course, this wasn’t Stefan’s Andrew, but Neil knew that already. Life had turned Andrew Minyard into a man of manufactured emotions, a life of violence and misled decisions landing him on Coach Wymack’s pity party guest list that was the Foxes’ lineup. Andrew didn’t flinch looking at Neil, and Neil begged the universe to have erased the memory of Stefan from Andrew mind. He hung around a motel, for Christ’s sake, how many other people would he have met before and after Stefan? Neil Josten looked totally different, with puberty, hair dye and new contact lenses on his side.

The second mistake he made was not realising Kevin Day was going to be around. If Andrew wasn’t dangerous enough, Kevin was even more so. Neil couldn’t believe his eyes the moment he looked closely at the teams lineup from the previous year. Kevin Day would have forgotten Nathaniel Wesninski, he was sure of it, but to look across to a picture of the teams goalkeeper and seeing the short blond boy he met in California? It was a sure sign for Neil to stay the hell away from South Carolina.

Neil’s biggest mistake was deciding to push his luck and take a plane there to sign with the Foxes. He was signing a death wish; but he didn’t care anymore. He was a dead man walking, living off stolen hours. It was only a matter of time before someone caught up with him. His mother was dead, god, his mom, Mary Hatford, the woman who taught him how to be. It wasn’t just like Debby, who died leaving Toronto, or Alice, who died leaving London, or Judy who died on the train between Germany and Prague. This was permanent, and Neil didn’t think he could run for much longer.

Andrew didn’t say anything during their meeting, in which he had plenty of opportunities to at least look like he recognised Neil, or the features of Stefan still left on his face. Kevin didn’t say anything either, and his words made it clear he didn’t remember Nathaniel, either. Neil was walking a thing line between life and death, with Stefan on one shoulder and Nathaniel on the other, waiting to tip him over, to expose the truth, to leave him buried like his mother.

The first night Neil slept - or more so lay on the couch in silence for hours, brain filled with noise and regret - in David’s apartment, he couldn’t stop thinking about Andrew. He couldn’t stop thinking about the kid with white-blond hair and a toothy smile, who ran his fingers so gently over Stefan’s skin, like he would break if Andrew dared get any closer. He couldn’t stop thinking about the playground, and the motel, and the kisses… and the punches, the kicks, the pulling of hair, the slaps across the face with yells to accompany them. Before Neil knew it he was stuck with his face hovering over the toilet bowl, his stomach threatening to burst at any moment. After a minute of gagging and spitting into the water, Neil washed his face and headed towards the balcony that David told him to smoke on if he needed to. This was one of those needing to moments.

Weeks went by without any indication he was going to be caught. Kevin looked at him like a stupid amateur, which was good for Nathaniel’s sake, but for Neil? Neil, who fought like his life depended on the racquet in his hands? Neil, who ran like his father was hot on his heels every single time he set off down the court? It hurt him to be insulted so often, but Kevin was leagues above him when he played. Neil was never going to be good enough. Andrew avoided him as much as possible. Nicky told him that was just how Andrew was; if you brought him no benefit, or if you made him bored, he would put you on a high shelf and never look at you again. By the way Andrew only spoke to Neil when Neil stood up to Kevin, Neil thought it was obvious that Andrew didn’t recognise him.

And then came the invite to Columbia.

“Get rid of the contacts, by the way.” Nicky had brushed off the realisation like it was nothing. It sounded like ‘you have something in your teeth’ but felt like a screaming siren above Neil’s head. It felt like a punch to the gut, like a gun to his head. “Andrew’s decision. And brown, Neil? You’re so predictable and boring it’s adorable.” He’d left a bag of clothes with Neil.

When Neil looked at his blue eyes, he felt too many feelings he couldn’t describe, or name. He felt like he was looking at his father. He felt like he was looking into the mirror like he had the last time he was Nathaniel. The last time he was in Baltimore. He’d cycled through the catalogue of contacts during his time on the run, but never once went back to blue. They were the icy eyes of a murderer, not the eyes of quiet, boring Neil. But at least they weren’t green. Neil was worried about Kevin recognising him by his eyes, but it was going to be dark out by the time they left. Neil would just have to stay in the dark around Kevin, and hope he got too drunk to notice, too drunk to remember.

When Andrew’s group came to pick Neil up, there was a change in dynamic Neil hadn’t seen before. Instead of Nicky being the middle man in their conversations, or Kevin being the reason to talk, Andrew was taking charge of their night. Neil’s heart raced every time he looked into his eyes. Every time he heard that voice it told him to run, the same voice as before, only deeper, emotionless. Neil couldn’t imagine this Andrew crying. Neil couldn’t imagine this Andrew being open, about his sexuality, or his feelings. If he didn’t look almost the same only older, he would probably doubt this was even the same Andrew.

“Oh! Oh, now, that’s interesting!” Andrew had commented as Neil left his dorm room. Nicky, Aaron and Kevin had walked ahead of the two of them. When they’d disappeared around the corner into the elevator down, Andrew turned and grabbed Neil’s face to inspect it. “What a change, hmm? Blue to brown is a bit drastic for fashion, don’t you think?”

“I’ve never liked my eyes,” Neil spoke through the fingers that rested over his lips. “I’ve worn them brown most my life.” Andrew tutted as Neil spoke, but left that thought there. His features were angry, like Neil had insulted him, but he S miled like he’d been talking to his best friend. He placed a cigarette between his lips as they joined the others in the elevator.

Before long, they were walking through the doors of Eden’s Twilight, music pumping and swirling through the air, vibrating their bodies as they walked. Andrew motioned for Neil to follow him to the bar once they’d found a table.

“Shots on me.” He’d come down from his manic high, waiting for his dust adrenaline to kick in. His smile was gone, but his tone and way of speaking was still the same. “What do you drink?”

“I don’t,” Neil answered, having to yell over the music.

“Sure you do.” Andrew waved him off. “I’m being polite. What do you drink?” He asked again, as the bartender came over.

“A coke for me.” Neil told the man behind the bar before he could ask Andrew. “Just a little ice.”

“See, now, Pinocchio, when someone offers you a gift you say thank you and accept it.” Andrew turned towards the man. “Roland. This is Neil. He’s a newbie.”

“I hear you,” Roland nodded, already placing shot glasses on the tray he’d put on the bar. “My choice, with dash for the new kid.” He poured a clear spirit into eight shot glasses, and used the fountain tap to fill a larger glass with cola. Andrew passed cash over and waved off his change as a tip. Before Neil knew it he was heading through the crowd, Andrew balancing the tray on one hand held high above his head. They reached the table and nothing has spilled, and before Neil knew it, the shot glasses were stacked in a tower on the tray as Neil nursed his coke.

“You don’t drink.” Andrew turned to Neil after watching the others take to the dance floor, coming up on their high, dusting when they couldn’t be seen. “Why?”

“Hate the taste, mostly.” That would be the truth if ‘taste’ actually meant ‘feeling of being out of control of my body’. He shrugged at Andrew’s dissatisfaction with that answer.

“You come to university and you don’t drink?” Andrew scoffed. “Do you smoke?” Neil shook his head. He’d tried an edible by accident once in some cafe in Europe, and got so paranoid they had to move on that night. He swore he saw his dad staring in the windows in the red-light district, a blunt between his lips, a smile made of murder wrapped around it.

“Not for me.” Neil took a sip from the cold coke. “Hard to find when it’s not legal and I hate the cops. Takes too much effort to roll.” Neil lied, like he knew what he was talking about, but he just remembered watching people in the cities he went to, everywhere having their local stoners, the folks who sat in the parks without a care in the world.

“You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you won’t dust.” Andrew rattled off the options. “Is it molly you’d prefer?” And when Neil shook his head again: “Psychedelics? Benzos?”

“I’m just not interested.” Neil looked into his glass, focusing on the ice. If he kept looking at Andrew he felt like he would crack. “Don’t we get tested before games anyway? What’s the point?” Andrew didn’t answer before he heading back up the bar. Neil didn’t follow this time. When he came back, there was ten shot glasses on the table. Again, eight filled with an unnamed spirit that burned Neil’s nose and twisted his stomach. The other two were cola.

“I’d hate for the new boy to feel left out.” Aaron, Nicky and Kevin had arrived back to the table for their shots. Andrew handed Neil one of his glasses. Neil knocked it back when the others did. It was ordinary coke, no surprises, no weird tastes, no reason for Neil to believe Andrew would have given him a shot of alcohol instead. That was, until he clinked glasses with the others and swallowed the second shot in a quick movement. He felt the alcohol burn his throat. It warmed his chest, but the familiar feeling wasn’t what worried him. It was the taste of salt on his tongue when he hadn’t licked any before hand. He quickly excused himself from the table and left for the bathroom.

Andrew had drugged him. He didn’t know why, but all he knew was the crackers were already coursing through his veins with deadly adrenaline. He was sure his racing heart wasn’t helping. It didn’t help, either, when Nicky reached the stairs before he did, and pulled him in for a salty, dusty kiss. Neil pushed him off as discreetly as he could.

“Nothing?” Nicky complained as he Neil bounced up the sticky stairs two steps at a time. Neil was sure he heard him say something about Neil being too hot to be straight, but the roaring anxiety in his ears was enough to drown it out. He locked himself in a stall and tried to best to throw up. He hadn’t eaten before he’d left, and he hadn’t drank anything other than he soda, so his attempts were fairly futile. A knock at the door interrupted him, and when he answered with a quick ‘occupied!’ He heard the door unlocking from the outside. Andrew pushed his way into the cramped stall and shut the door behind him. Before Neil could even begin to object Andrew had grabbed him by the collar and shoved him against the wall, Neil struggling to keep his balance with the toilet in the way.

“You don’t like the taste of alcohol or you’re afraid of losing control? Telling your truths?” Andrew’s drug induced smile had returned with mischief and malice. “Let’s see how this does!” His voice was low as he spoke, with an enthusiasm to his words that made Neil sweat. When he went to protest, Andrew covered his mouth with his free hand.

“Shut up,” He clicked his tongue. “You have spent your entire extended stay here lying to me and lying to poor, gullible Coach. I see the way you look at Kevin, too. Either you’re lying about not swinging or there’s something deeper to that intimidation.” Neil tried to get out a ‘I don’t swing.’ Before Andrew shushed him again. “Don’t keep lying, newbie! One last chance at honesty.” He lifted his hand no more than an inch from Neil’s mouth. Neil was sweating, his hands shaky, his mind turning into fog, desperate to cling to any sort of euphoria it could find. When it’s search came up empty, it filled his stomach, his head, his hands, his feet, with anxious buzzing instead. He couldn’t ignore the nauseating feelings the drugs brought with them.

“I don’t swing,” Neil stood his ground. “I don’t.” Andrew brought his hand up to Neils hair and yanked him down to his level, hard. He kept an inescapable grip in his curls as their faces almost touched.

“Still don’t know?” Andrew pouted in fake-pity. “Ten years later and you still don’t know?” Neil’s stomach would’ve fallen from his body if it’s got the chance. His heart would’ve went with it when Andrew continued. “There better be a good reason for Neil existing, Stefan, and I can’t wait to hear it.”

“What?” He tried, but it was no use. His voice failed him, cracking as the futile attempts at lying left his lips. “I don’t know what-“

“Shut up.” Andrew repeated. His grip not relaxing. Neil was worried he was pulling his hair from the root, but that was probably the least of his worries. Probably. “Do not lie to me again.” Neil searched his eyes for a sliver of doubt. A tiny, tiny possibility that he might think he was wrong. It wasn’t there. He’d been caught.

“Andrew.” He wrapped his hands around Andrew’s wrist, the one hovering over his head, muscles tense from the grip on his head. “Can we talk without ripping my fucking hair out?”

Before Neil could react, Andrew had let go of his hair, but in doing so, had swung his head with full force into the side walls of the stall. His balance finally failed him, but Andrew caught him by the neck of the black turtleneck he’d been gifted. He heard a few stitches pop, but it didn’t matter. The sudden movements turned Neil’s stomach with a violent wave, and he gagged hard, his stomach threatening to come out his mouth. He leaned over to spit into the toilet and bared his teeth at Andrew, breathing heavily through them.

“So he lives,” Andrew smiled, his pupils blown, a white-knuckled hold on Stefan-Neil’s collar. Neil was afraid he was going to pass out. His body was on fire, his mind screaming like an emergency broadcast alarm. “Tell me you didn’t know, oh humour me! I’d hate to think you’re stupid enough to come here still in possession of the memory from there.”

“I didn’t think you’d remember.” Neil didn’t break eye contact.

“So you ARE that stupid!” Andrew pushed him back, letting go of his top. Neil tried to assess his escape routes, but it was no use. He couldn’t get out of this. “I remembered little Stefan the second Kevin showed me your file. I didn’t think it would be you, surely it couldn’t be, but our little visit to fuckport, Arizona couldn’t lie to me like you did. So is it Neil, or is it Stefan?”

“Neither.” He spat out the honesty, worried if he waited, another lie would take it’s place. “But you can call me Neil.”

“Oh, no, no!” Andrew grabbed him by the neck, holding his jaw in a way that could become a choke very quickly. “Maybe I’ll stick with Stefan. You don’t get a say. You know, I thought mommy killed you.” A knife twisted in Neil’s gut.

“She’s dead.” Neil tried to breath through his unwanted come-up. “That’s the only reason I’m here. Because she wasn’t alive to stop me.”

“Did you do it?” He held Neils face like the world would end if he let go. He held even tighter when Neil tried to pull away.

“No.” That was all he said. He thought about continuing, considering the fact he was a dead man already. But he stopped himself. How could he say it was his dad without saying he was the mafias right-hand-murderer? Was he wasting his time lying?

“Didn’t think you did.” Andrew laughed, barely even blinking as he intimidated Neil. “No balls then, no balls now.”

“I was twelve.” He spat through crushed cheeks. “We were kids.”

“Old enough to be a liar.” Andrew let go of Neil’s face with a forceful push and turned to open the stall door. “You’re going to lead us outside. If you deviate or try to run I’ll kill you. I will kill you.” So Neil did just that. He led the way in silence, down the stairs and towards the exit. When Nicky stopped and excitedly asked where they were going, Neil looked back to Andrew who waved his pack of cigarettes, a smile on his face, no essence of a lie present. Neil just kept walking, kept his head down, and tried to ignore the pain on the side of his head. When they reached the outside of the club, the brisk air biting their exposed skin, Neil turned to the first man he saw, a club-goer at the top of the queue, and swung a punch up. Andrew noticed the second his hands left his sides, balled up with a plan. The man threw a hefty punch back, shouting intimidations, knocking Neil’s short frame to the ground. As quick as humanly possible, Andrew had hoisted him up, wrapped his arms around his back and twisted his wrist in such a way that a single jolt would break it. He held him in that position with one hand, putting all his strength into keeping Neil still.

“He gets crazy on tequila!” Andrew laughed, shaking his head as he took out his wallet and pulled out a fifty note. He threw it at the guy as compensation, his friends holding him back from beating Neil’s vulnerable, ballsy ass. He continued yelling as Andrew hauled him away. He grunted in pain as he refused to loosen his grip on Neil’s wrists. He walked him around the back of the club, to an empty, barely lit parking lot. He threw him to the ground so quickly he didn’t have time to stop his fall.

“Every moment I spend around you, you prove you’re much fucking dumber than I thought.” Andrew spat down, then crouching down to Neil’s level, balancing on the tops of his feet. Neil cradled his head, arms wrapped around the nape of his neck. He was sure he had a concussion. He could barely open his eyes through the pulsing blood rushing through his head, but forced himself to, to look up at Andrew’s smiling face.

“What happened?” Spit dripped down his chin, blood slowly trickling from the busted lip he’d earned himself. “What happened to that Andrew?” Andrew froze for half a second, and Neil noticed. “The Andrew who cried because he was gay? The kid who actually fucking cared about anything?”

“Oh, you are treading thin fucking ice for someone who doesn’t know how to swim.” Andrew tilted his head. “Mention another precious memory and I won’t hesitate to actually break your wrist next time.”

“Why?” He spat blood at Andrew’s feet. “Afraid somebody might remember what you’re actually like when you’re not pretending to be a sociopath?” Andrew opened his mouth at the challenge, a smile creeping up one side of his face. “Are you afraid to actually have someone around you know anything about you? I’m a threat. That’s all you care about.” He continued. “What, do you think I’ll use it against you? You’ve been treating me like shit since we met. If I was going to stab you in the back I’d have done it already, asshole.”

“Since we met, again.” He corrected the most irrelevant part of Neils sentiment.

“Let me go now and I’ll move on. You won’t ever see me again.” Neil bargained. Andrew’s eyebrows twitched ever so slightly. “This time I’ll get a chance to say goodbye.”

“No,” Andrew stopped him. “You don’t get to arrive in to my life like a tornado and disappear. You don’t get to dig your own grave and push me into it.” He bent down to get closer to Neils shaking face. “You’re going to tell me exactly what happened first. Tell me what she did to you.”

“No.” Neil strained. “I moved on. You were dangerous. You almost got me killed.”

“Boohoo, do you hear my tiny violin, liar?” Andrew grabbed a hold of his hair again. Neil let out a cry of pain, trying to pry Andrew’s fingers from his scalp. “Talk. Talk or I will get you killed.”

“My father is a very dangerous man. He’s murdered more people than there are days in a year.” Neil wiped the blood from his lips. It stung as he did so, but it didn’t matter. He took out a small stack of IDs from his wallet and threw them across to Andrew. For a second, anyone would’ve thought they were real, but closer inspection killed that thought. Andrew was holding a driver’s license belonging to Chris Angle, 21, from New York. A European passport card signed by George Debois from Paris. A gym membership from Seattle, an employee pass from Toronto, two more drivers licenses from cities across the globe. All the names were different, but they didn’t belong to different people. They all had pictures of Neil on them. Some he had long hair, short hair, an unfortunate buzz-cut. He wore a beard in some, the baby face of a teenager in others. “You aren’t the only one I’ve lied to. Don’t think you’re special.” Andrew snapped the IDs with angry force. Neil took a deep breath, knowing the last memories of his mother were buried in the face of Christopher Hart, snapped in half, just like that. He continued searching through his wallet. Deep into the card pockets of the tattered leather. He didn’t look up when he heard Andrew drop the scraps of his identities on the ground. Neil found what he was looking for and threw it again, across the space separating them, it clattering by his feet. “If my mom found that she’d have killed me herself. We ran so she could protect me. I made that so much harder on her by meeting you.” Andrew inspected the card he’d been thrown. An under-eye twitch and a slow inhale accompanied his realisation. “You want to hate me for what she made me do, fine, but it was inevitable. You were never going to be the reason that made us stay.”

Neil had given Andrew something he couldn’t bare to part with. His old wallet stayed buried deep, deep in his belongings, so well hidden his mother hadn’t even known it existed. He usually kept his current IDs on his person, and never in a wallet. It was a ticking time bomb, but Neil needed something. He needed a reason to feel, and if that was the memory of the good day his mom had had when they finally showered after weeks of baby wipes and deodorant, it was something to hold on to. Neil had to stay grounded in some sort of reality. He was on the run, sure, but the people he met, the things he’d done? They were real. It hurt to see those memories snapped on the ground like trash, but Andrew didn’t snap the memory he held in his hands.

Andrew held the library card of Stefan Montgomery. It had a faded black and white photo on it, scratched out with time. He had begged the librarian to let him have the card without taking a picture, but she had insisted it was necessary so people didn’t have more than one. In the photo was a scared little boy, a gash on his cheek, with crispy curls and a skinny face. Neil remembered walking to the library when he couldn’t find Andrew, taking out books to help him learn any of the languages he needed to know. The library in Oakland taught him about the history of Spain, and the culture in France. There was something about Stefan that Neil didn’t want to forget. He’d kept that library card safe as if it were a lifeline, like he knew it would come in handy some day.

And then Andrew threw it across the empty parking lot like a frisbee.

“She didn’t see anything.” Neil tried, as if it would help. “We left because I made a friend. Not because… you know.”

“I was not your friend.” Andrew stood up and put a cigarette between his teeth. He lit it, one puff, two puff, three puffs until it burned red. “I was never your friend.”

“You were.” Neil struggled to stand up and join him. “Don’t lie to a liar.”

“You remember it wrong!” He took a short drag and flicked ash as he spoke. “You were a toy to play with when there was nothing else to do.”

“You could’ve went home.” Neil took the cigarette from Andrew’s fingers. “But hey, I wasn’t the only one who needed to escape heavy hands, right?” He pulled the smoke into his lungs and breathed out before flicking the barely smoked cigarette away. “You were my friend. You had Stefan killed because I cared about you when Stefan wasn’t supposed to care about anybody.”

“Be quiet.” Andrew pulled another cigarette from the packet and squared up to Neil who was standing so close he could feel Andrew’s breath hot on his face. “You didn’t care.”

“Are you listening?” Neil spat again, the heat of the cigarette having hurt his cracked lips. “We left because of you. Because I let you in, and I’m sorry you were collateral damage in our war against the world but fuck, we didn’t have a choice. Do you think I wanted to leave? I was going to leave you a note, but she wouldn’t leave my side until we were in another city and Stefan was just another name in the pile. Fuck you if you don’t want to believe that. I don’t owe you an explanation but you’ve got one anyway. Tell me to leave and I’ll go. Tell me you understand and I’ll go, Andrew.”

“I waited for you.” Andrew exhaled honestly through cigarette smoke. “Every day! The fourth day I tried knocking on the door of your motel room. Fifth day a random couple opened the door and I knew you weren’t coming back. Why should I give you another chance, hmm? When you so easily could run away before, who’s to say you won’t do it again?”

“I’m not asking for another chance,” Neil head was pounding. He felt like he could pass out, his ears ringing and body jittery. “I don’t know, maybe I’m asking you to remember what I meant to you.” Andrew pursed his lips at that. He was struggling to keep his composure, like the memory of before was chipping away slowly at this version of Andrew. He was holding himself together with twitches and small fidgets.

“I hate you.” He said, coldly. He had lit his cigarette and smoked through half of it before speaking again. Neil just stood, suddenly thinking about if Kevin were to find the IDs scattered on the floor. He didn’t even think he could lie to Nicky about that. He would pick them up in a moment, but he couldn’t afford to lose Andrew’s interest in the conversation. If Neil got distracted now he could ruin every chance he possible had at reconciling some sort of relationship with Andrew.

“I hate what the world has turned you into.” Andrew snorted a laugh at Neil’s dramatics.

“Oh, you are a pipe bomb.” Andrew started to walk away, but when Neil grabbed his arm to stop him, in a quicker movement he had twisted Neil’s arm in some sort of self defence move that hurt. “You don’t have a right to touch me anymore. Keep your lying hands to yourself or I’ll break every one of your fingers.” He didn’t let go immediately.

“Do you miss it?” Neil searched Andrew’s eyes for something, anything. “Being vulnerable? Being comforted instead of being alone, blaming the world for your problems?” Before Neil could even think to keep going, Andrew had used his free hand to manoeuvre a knife from his arm bands and hold it up to Neil’s face.

“I dare you to keep pushing.” His words were casual, but a threat nonetheless. “Stop trying to control a life you left. I won’t be a scratching post for your mommy issues, runaway.”

“What did Jakub do to you?” Neil brought a memory out from the depths. As soon as the name left his lips, Andrew’s entire body hardened and his eyes turned to glass. He slashed a cut into Neil’s cheekbone without hesitation and proceeded to let go of his arm and jam a thumb into the fresh wound. “Why did you spend your childhood alone in a playground?” Neil spoke through gritted teeth.

“If you want to keep your fantasy alive I advise you to really shut up now.” Andrew pushed him backwards, a final squeeze in the gash as he did so. Even more blood dripped down his face. Andrew wiped his hands in his pants and picked up the ignored cigarette he’d dropped in the altercation. “You are going in circles. This is your last warning.”

“My mom nearly broke half the bones in my body trying to get rid of the memory of you.” Neil took his spot back up so close to Andrews face he could practically see every one of the pores in his face. He still had freckles scattered across his face, his skin soft, with faint acne scars here and there across his cheeks. “I never stopped thinking about you.”

“You should have.” Andrew threw his cigarette at Neil. “Make your choice. Run like you’re used to.” He looked him up and down one more time and turned on his feet back towards the club. Neil didn’t follow. He started to pick up the remnants of his past and he felt his nose ache in psychosomatic pain, remembering a nose-breaking punch his mother threw when Neil dared asked if they could stay. He spat again, still trying to get the salty taste out of his mouth. His hands were shaking so badly he could barely hold onto the shards of plastic evidence of who he used to. After picking them all up he had to stop, and sit down. He was afraid he was having a panic attack, and he couldn’t tell if it was because of the drugs still ravishing his system, or if it was because of Andrew. Maybe it was both. It probably was. He didn’t think he could’ve spoken the truth if he wasn’t high, but God, if he were sober it would’ve been so much easier to run. High Neil was emotional Neil, empathetic Neil, hurt Neil. He’d only had the experience of being really, genuinely high a few times, and every single time just reminded him how much he hated the feeling of being out of control. Of his nerves, his feelings, every fibre in his being misfiring and doing the opposite to what he wanted. His brain was begging him to feel the chemicals it was pumping out, but all it did was amplifying the aching feeling in his chest. He let out a noise that didn’t quite resemble a cry, or a sigh, or a grunt. It was a noise born from pain, a mixture of anxiety and heartbreak, maybe. He wasn’t sure what that felt like. Maybe this was it.

He tried to steady his breath and he stumbled across the empty lot. The booming bass from the music at Eden’s practically shook the ground as he walked, at least, it sure felt like it did. He stumbled as he reached down to pick up the library card so carelessly thrown away. It hurt him even more looking at Stefan, feeling this pang in his stomach that wished things could’ve been different. He didn’t think he liked Andrew like that, and being on the same team was just the destruction of a childhood crush. Neil tried to come up with excuses in his head to how Andrew felt, but it was obvious he had thrown Stefan into the bad memories pile a long, long time ago. Neil showing up again just ripped through Andrew’s closure, and knowing he had feelings beneath what he showed, he was probably hurting too. It didn’t seem like it, but maybe he was. Neil had put the ID away, and looked around. He had no real idea where he was, or how to get home. Before he knew it, he was sprinting away from the club, going nowhere, going anywhere but there. His head wasn’t in a place to decide that he should stay. He’s worth it. His heart raced at the thought of Andrew’s face, looking down at the long unused library card. He’s worth it. Neil couldn’t look back. He was wondering what Andrew was telling the others, and if they would believe him. He wondered if he’d told Nicky about Neil’s Idontknow sexuality, and that’s why Nicky thought it okay to kiss him. But he didn’t feel anything with Nicky. He didn’t look at anyone in the way he looked at Andrew. He ran and ran and ran until he’d sweat out the drugs, until his head was more focused on trying to breathe than it was on Andrew, and his mom. It took a while, and he was lost when he stopped. Unfamiliar streets, him a stranger in someone else’s hometown. Maybe that made things worse. This feeling was too familiar. Lost, lost, lost. Sometimes lost became familiar, became home. He didn’t think he could be un-lost again.

-

Part 3

[heymrstargazer]

10 (maybe 82 as well?) with Andrew and Nicky, please.

this is a lot longer than a drabble (and i changed both slightly), but thank you anon! here you go:

10. You may be a grown-up, but you’re still my baby

82. Stop worrying so much

Andrew was hiding in the bathroom. The bathroom locked away from the bustle of reporters and people that probably wanted his lookalike dead. This trial would be the death of him, anyway.

While Aaron hadn't exactly disclosed that fact to him, he felt the same and presumed it safe enough to make that assumption. Everyone out there was making even worse ones, so how bad could his be?

A loud knock nearly startled him, his gaze flicking to the door in doubt of the lock’s integrity. “Andrew, it’s me,” Nicky’s voice called. He debated for a short moment before turning the lock.

Standing between the frame and the door, he flatly asked, “Can I help you?” Nicky pushed his palm flat against the door, but Andrew didn’t move. He could piss or have a panic attack somewhere else.

“Can I help you?” he asked back. He was damn lucky one of the swarming reporters spotted them from down the hall.

Once locked inside again, Nicky, for once in his life, didn’t say anything. He watched Andrew cross and uncross his arms, taking two steps one way and two steps back, then push his hair back with one hand. “Spit it out before I feed you to the sharks.”

“You’re nervous--”

“I don’t get nervous,” he shot back, reaching his hand toward the lock. Nicky threw his hands up in a surrender.

He only sighed and dug his fingers into his eyes. “Yes, you do. You’re pacing and fidgeting and nit-picking your appearance. It’s the same thing you did on your first day at Palmetto, and the same thing you did after the riot. For three hours, mind you.”

Andrew did not do any of those things. He was bored. Bored of the accusations, the tension, and the memories that were practically jammed up his nose every time he entered a room. Besides, he wasn’t nervous, and even if he was he knew not to give it away. He wasn’t allowed to be nervous. It’s not like he was the one up against the jury.

“I don’t get nervous,” he repeated, because maybe Nicky ignored it.

Nicky, unfortunately, wasn’t as stupid as Andrew wished he was. “Are you telling me or yourself?”

“Get out.”

“Wait,” he said, pausing just long enough to see Andrew’s hand stop on the handle. “You’re allowed to be nervous.” Andrew half-opened his mouth, about to protest before Nicky read his train of thought too well. “Yes, I know it’s not you on trial for murder, but it’s your brother. Your twin. And I know I’m not Bee, and I know I’m not Neil, and I know you’re a grown-up, but dammit, Andrew, you’re still my kid.”

Oh.

“I may not know you as well as they do, but I still know you. I watched you struggle through English class, and I watched you ace your drivers test. I watched you come home with a black eye when some prick called Aaron a nerd. I’m not stupid.”

Andrew wished he was. He didn’t need Nicky’s reassurance, and want was irrelevant in a circumstance so dire. This was the rest of Aaron’s life, not his. Even if it meant they’d be down a player in Mario Kart. Even if it meant his Christmases to come might be quieter than normal, and his birthday would no longer be shared. It didn’t matter how he felt, or what he wanted.

But maybe, for the time being, he could pretend what Nicky said was true. If Nicky really believed that, then maybe they could be crazy together. Maybe he wasn’t actually all that wrong.

“I don’t need your pep talk,” he finally decided on.

“I know,” he replied. “I thought it might help anyway.”

Andrew sighed silently, listening for any noise outside the door as he turned the lock again. “Worry about yourself.”

Nicky saw it as the thank you it was. “I’ll try. Besides,” he smiled, “Neil just got here and he’s wearing a suit. I know it made me feel better, I’m sure it will for you, too.”

“Don’t push your fucking luck,” he said, nudging the door open and away from the laugh echoing at his back.

[kevindayscrown]

The one where Kevin Day falls in love with an ice hockey player.

Part 4 The Fall

(TW: Panic attacks, mentions of violence, mentions of homophobia, mentions of Riko because he deserves his own trigger warning)

Anything included in this head canon takes place the semester after the Foxes won the championship against the Ravens.

Disclaimer: I know next to nothing about varsity teams in the United States so excuse any false information. Read first the Introduction, Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3.

Weeks passed, the chilling breezes of October giving way to the bitter cold of mid-November. The season had started off to a satisfying foot for the Foxes of the Exy team, the new recruits slowly adjusting. Everything was falling into place.

The calm before the storm.

Kevin reserved three nights a week for sneaking with Eric to the Foxhole Rink and practice his skating skills.

It was a slower process than he would have wanted, but Kevin knew about slow processes. It had taken him half a year before he could use a racquet with his left hand again.

However, Kevin was also a firm believer of proper equipment being part of an athlete’s success. His borrowed skates just wouldn’t do, especially now that the two of them had moved on from simple skating to actual ice hockey.

Eric agreed to take him to buy his own pair. Kevin had to skip class just so he wouldn’t have to find another excuse. He still wasn’t sure if Andrew genuinely believed him every time he came up with a reason to skip night practice and then disappear for hours.

They were looking at the designs the store had in stock when it happened.

Kevin felt his cellphone vibrate in his pocket. He could guess that it was probably Nicky, wanting to annoy him with something.

When it didn’t stop, he sighed in frustration and picked it up.

“What?”

“I’m so sorry Kevin.” It was Dan.

“Sorry about what?”

Dan had a knack for taking photos of the foxes throughout the year so she could put them on the wall back at the court. She carried a camera everywhere with her.

She’d carried one when they’d gone at the rink after the Exy team lost the bet.

Kevin rushed forward and asked the cashier if he could use one of the computers in the store.

It was everywhere in local and nationwide websites. Mostly on gossip tabloids. The ice hockey players had apparently gotten their hands on the photo and in their attempts to harmlessly tease their captain, they ended up spreading the photo around on the internet.

‘Kevin Day’s newest conquest? Staring Striker swings a different way than you’d expect.’

‘All for the Wrong Game? Exy-Prodigy Kevin Day on Thin Ice.’

On the articles, pictures of Eric having his arm wrapped around him when he almost fell on the rink and of them entering the Foxhole Rink in the late hours, were attached. He couldn’t even tell when those had been taken and by whom.

“Shit.”

Crude commentary, speculations, jokes, slurs, people suddenly claiming they always knew. It was all over the news. The headlines alone were bad enough.

‘Perhaps Kevin and Riko’s relationship was of a different nature.’

Kevin was going to be sick.

“What the hell happened Day? You look as if you’ve seen a ghost,” Eric demanded but Kevin could barely hear him.

He was having a hard time breathing. The last time he had panicked like that was when he told the press he had never been skiing before and instantly thought Riko would kill him for it. Now, it was another Moriyama who could take his life for such a stupid mistake.

Before his thoughts could keep going downhill, Eric grabbed his wrist on his right arm and dragged him down one of the alleys that was the least crowded. Kevin then felt hands cradling his face. Eric stared down at him with a harsh look, though one also of concern.

“These rumors go around all the time about every celebrity, Kevin,” He said, trying to comfort him.

“No, no, he-,” he stopped and tried to breathe in again. “Fuck. Fuck!” He pulled away and ran his fingers through his hair. Kevin hadn’t circled the news like that ever since it was announced that he had transferred to Palmetto State University.

“He? Who? Kevin, talk to me.”

Simple rumors have ruined careers, Kevin knew that. It was the rumor of him being better than Riko that had gotten him to break Kevin’s hand and almost ending his own career. It was by luck that he could recover and play again.

Pro teams weren’t tolerant to gossiping rumors that could ruin their image. And they sure as hell weren’t progressive enough to accept homosexual players – even only rumored ones - in their lineup. Kevin had already signed, but would they break his contact over this?

If they did, if he didn’t make it to pros, he would be useless to Ichirou. He would get rid of Kevin overnight.

“Kevin.” Eric’s stern voice snapped him back to reality.

“Ichirou Moriyama,” he finally said and stared down at his hands. The white scar across his left palm was somehow more prominent at that moment.

Eric was confused, as it was expected. Kevin gathered the remainings of his sanity to explain as best as he could. He didn’t know why or how, maybe it was his panic, his need to talk to someone, Eric’s concerned expression, but he was suddenly sharing everything. The Moriyamas owning Kevin ever since his mother died, Riko breaking his hand, everything going on in the background last year that people didn’t know about, and of course, the deal Neil had made with Ichirou.

By the time he was done, he was shaking and Eric remained completely silent.

“Fuck it,” the goaltender suddenly said. “Any pro team would be stupid to not take Kevin Day into their lineup because of this. You are the best striker in the history of Exy. You are passionate, you are determined. You have an insufferable ego, yes, but you are Exy. It’s your legacy. They won’t take it away from you.”

Kevin wasn’t sure how to react to this, but he felt a twitch in his chest.

Usually, when he had a panic attack, the Foxes or Wymack would hand him a bottle of vodka and call it a day. They didn’t know how to handle him.

Somehow, Eric however, knew exactly what to say.

“I- Thank you,” he said and clenched his hands into fists.

His phone rings again and Andrew’s name appeared on the screen.

Whatever composure he had regained, vanished into thin air.

Before he could reach for it, Eric grabbed the phone and picked it up. Kevin wasn’t sure what had been shared, and he wondered which of his knives Andrew would use to skin them both alive.

It didn’t take long for the blond to show up. Kevin was immediately at his feet, but wasn’t quick enough. Andrew already had a skate on his hand, apparently deciding to get creative and test how sharp the blade of it was.

He was going for Eric before Kevin could stop him.

[knoepfchen]

Horny asks hours are here! :D

So. Because "You're Wrong and I Need to Fuck You About It" is still my very favourite Kaysanova fic tag ever, what I'm thinking is... they totally start simply making shit up about which they can disagree. Right?!?

Like, they reach a point where they've figured out they have so much in common it ain't even funny, and they know how to sidestep the touchy shit, so they keep wracking their brains to find stuff to argue about. Only it turns out they actually agree?!? So you get them being all petty like, "This pear is not ripe enough to eat," even though it is, "and you are clearly so very stupid for believing this fruit is, like, edible right now, so I might as well rail you into the mattress to teach you a lesson!"

Imagine Joe waking up in the mornings like, "I need more awful opinions, what in the actual fuck. What do stupid people believe? God, why couldn't Nicky be more gullible and believe stupid shit, I am sacrificing so many of my principles to get dicked down by an intelligent man. Ugh." While Nicky's like, "This man is perfect, we are so in sync, but I'm having a lot of fun watching him come up with ridiculous ideas. LOL."

(I guess it turned into cracky horny??? #SorryNotSorry)

Smith. Smith. Why would you be sorry about this, this is everything to me. (something something laughing with your lover in bed something something if you don’t have time for an elaborate fight to induce hate sex goodness, store bought is fine)

My most favourite thing about this absolute delight of a concept is the sheer levels of principled intelligence vs horny stupidity that they BOTH need to have. It’s the “I don’t really have a strong opinion about camels vs dromedary, but now that you’ve expressed a preference for dromedaries like HELL will I not sit here and list the benefits of camels until you shut me up (preferably physically.)”

And actually, actually what you just said about Joe sacrificing his principles, this is so funny to me when you think about them having the same fight, multiple times, but with roles reversed as to who is “wrong” that time. I’m talking, “Didn’t you say yesterday, and I quote, “Green is a horrid colour and whoever decided to paint these walls with it was a moron?”” “I cannot believe I’ve let a man sleep with me who would say that about green. Green has always been my favourite colour and you know it.” “Reaaally? Green? Out of all the colours in the world?” (scene taken from that one time they decided to redecorate their holiday home safehouse in Andalucía, it took a week and ten trips to the store to finish the one accent wall because they kept ‘arguing’ about the colour and messing up the wet paint.)

[willowbird]

Hello! Can I request andreil Christmas morning with the foxes? Or just them?

Yes, yes you can <33

(Technically I have one more prompt before this one, but consider this my contribution to your asks for happy things~)

-----

Sleepy, cozy mornings were a new thing for Neil. Not that he’d never been tired in the morning, or had never been warm and comfortable. There was a difference. Sleepy, for one, implied a certain level of inherent safety and lack of urgency that even throughout his entire first year with the Foxes he had never had the luxury of. Similarly, cozy was a foreign notion to him that carried a downy reassurance of safety he’d never been privileged enough to even consider. 

Right now, though? Right now he was basking in what was decidedly a sleepy, cozy morning. 

Light was filtering through the slatted blinds of Andrew’s bedroom in the house in Columbia like ghost-breath, pale and ephemeral in the early morning. Neil’s eyes were open, but only just, and his mind was so peacefully blank that he spent what could have been ten minutes and could have been a full hour just watching the light steadily warm and brighten, igniting the floating specks of dust like tiny fireworks in a celebration of such unfathomable ease. Behind him were the low, steady cadences of Andrew’s breathing against his shoulder and his heartbeat against his spine -- a duet that Neil idly thought he’d be happy to play on repeat for the rest of his life.

So yeah, he was cozy. He was sleepy. He was... happy. And he was content to bask in that for as long as he could. Stray thoughts filtered through the haze of his only half-awake mind, none of them sticking, none of them elevating his own heart rate above its slow, relaxed beat. It was more that he just... noticed things, then let them go. He noticed the shifting of the light, he noticed the creaking of the house, he noticed that warm, pleased feeling that pulsed in his chest and spread all the way down to each finger and each toe when Andrew sighed and nuzzled his face against his shoulder, the arm around his waist tightening slightly. 

He allowed himself to wake slowly, and when he did feel alert and fully conscious, he remained in place to bask just a little bit longer anyway. 

“Hn..”

Behind him, Andrew made a small, sleepy noise of his own and tightened his arm around him again, fully hiding his face against the back of Neil’s neck. Since Andrew couldn’t see him anyway, Neil didn’t bother hiding the smile the action conjured. 

“Morning,” he offered in greeting, knowing the difference between Andrew’s unconscious movements and signs that he was actually awake but resisting it.

“Too early.” Andrew’s response was muffled, grumbled as it was against Neil’s skin, but decipherable. 

Neil shifted slightly, and Andrew instantly loosened his hold so that Neil could roll onto his side to face him. As much as he enjoyed being held by Andrew sometimes, it was still his favorite to lay facing him. He liked to be able to look at him, to watch his face and see the way light brought out new hues in his hazel eyes. They were almost green this morning, but flecked with brown that flashed gold when he narrowed his eyes into a glare. 

“What?” Andrew accused. 

Neil debated telling Andrew that he was beautiful, that getting to see his face first thing in the morning was his favorite thing about waking up in Columbia, that if it was the last thing he saw he’d count it worth it every single time. 

Instead he shrugged and said, “Nothing.”

Andrew’s glare narrowed and by the accusatory glance at Neil’s mouth, Neil supposed he must be smiling or making some other offensive expression that he knew Andrew must either like more or even less than he said, considering how often he would kiss it away.

Not this morning, though, which was preferable. Neil loved kissing Andrew. He did not like the particular vintage of ass that occurred first thing in the morning before either of them had a chance to brush their teeth. 

By the annoyed sigh Andrew made, Neil supposed he had come to the same conclusion. He didn’t resist when Andrew put his whole hand on Neil’s face to push it into the pillow, only humming in an amused way that he knew would annoy the other man. Andrew was already rolling out of bed when Neil heard the scoff that told him he’d succeeded on that point. 

Pleased with himself, Neil took an extra few moments to stretch, burying his face into Andrew’s pillow and inhaling deeply, allowing himself to go a little light-headed on the rush he got when his senses were flooded with Andrew’s scent. Andrew was gone by the time he’d fully roused himself and was back by the time Neil had changed out of his pajamas and into some lounge pants and a fresh t-shirt. They didn’t have any real plans for the day that he knew of and he was planning to hold onto this cozy feeling for as long as possible even if the sleepy bit had faded. 

Andrew was waiting for him in the hallway when Neil got out of the bathroom, holding a red bundle of knitted fabric in his hands. When Neil only raised an eyebrow, Andrew shoved it at his chest and said, “Nicky’s stupid tradition.”

Neil might have asked, except that he could now see that Andrew had pulled on a sweater over the shirt he’d been wearing when Neil had entered the bathroom. It was dark green with a gold and white tree on it, loopy knitted lettering proclaiming ‘Happy Holidays!’ with aggressive cheer. Now he knew he was grinning, and he didn’t even press a hand to his mouth to hide and cover it, because it felt nothing like his father’s smile. This was something entirely different, born of shock and awe and humor and affection in a combination Neil didn’t think he’d ever actually experienced before. 

“Put yours on before you come down,” Andrew ordered with a flat expression Neil didn’t believe for an instant. “I do not want to listen to Nicky’s whining.”

Then he turned and marched down the stairs, where Neil realized he could hear the sounds of quietly chipper holiday music and the rustle of bodies moving around. 

Neil looked down at the bundle in his hands and shook it out to see the design. He wasn’t sure whether to laugh or groan at the image, which was probably the ugliest-looking rendition of a reindeer he’d ever seen in his life. Neil would never say that he had an eye for fashion or art, but this was just... sad. The shade of the nose was just slightly darker than the background of the sweater and he was pretty sure the animal was cross-eyed. 

Ah well, it wasn’t like he’d have to look at it if he was wearing it. With a shake of his head, he tugged it on and turned to head downstairs. At least it was warm. It was also big on him and knitted with something soft, so if Neil were to call it anything, he might say it was... cozy.

“Neil!” Nicky cheered from the stove when Neil entered the kitchen. He was wearing a bright green sweater with an elf on it. Or at least, he thought it was an elf. To his knowledge, elves didn’t wear purple eyeshadow, but hey -- he wasn’t here to judge. “You wore it! I knew it was the perfect sweater for you.”

Neil raised an eyebrow and tugged on the sweater, looking down at it. “Huh. It’s that Christmas deer, right? Randolph?” he asked, full well knowing the correct name. He’d lived on the run for half his life, not under a rock. 

Nicky made a pained, whimpering sound. “Dead. I’m dead. You’ve killed me. Neil, don’t... don’t tell me you’ve never heard of... of Rudolph..?”

Neil looked up at him and affixed something between innocence and confusion on his face. “Isn’t that the guy who makes that snowman. Uh. Freezy or something?”

“Frosty! No, he--”

“Nicky, he’s fucking with you.” This from Aaron, who had no right to ruin his fun when he was sitting there with (a distinctly cross-eyed) Santa Claus on his own sweater. Why did all of these characters have a vision impairment?

Nicky looked from Aaron to Neil, who just shrugged and moved to make himself a cup of coffee. 

“Aww Neil, you asshole,” Nicky whined, but the effect was somewhat ruined by the grin on his face as he turned back to the stove, where he was just finishing up the bacon. It appeared to be the last thing on the menu, because the table was already laden with every single breakfast food Neil could fathom. Three different kinds of eggs, toast, waffles, sausages, biscuits -- it was a regular feast and Neil’s stomach rumbled at the sight. 

“Wow Nicky, what’s with the spread. Did I forget someone’s birthday or something?” Neil asked as he took his usual spot next to Andrew, who’d been watching the whole previous exchange over the rim of his own coffee cup. 

Nicky turned around with the plate of bacon in hand, his expression stricken. “Neil you.. you do know what today is... don’t you?”

Aaron sighed and opened his mouth, then snapped it shut again and glared at Andrew, who must have kicked him. Neil bit back a smirk and frowned instead. “Uh... December twenty-fifth? Probably?” He looked toward the fridge, where Nicky’s calendar hung. The twenty-fifth was circled in green and red marker with two smiley-faces and at least six exclamation points. 

“Shit, it’s your birthday isn’t it? Sorry Nicky, I forgot. I’ll make it up to--”

“It’s CHRISTMAS, Neil! Christmas!!” He set the plate down, like he needed to get it out of his hands before he dropped it. Or maybe so he could fee his hands to gesture emphatically at the sweaters they were all wearing. And the paper snowflakes in the window. And the Christmas lights strung around the cabinets. And the little snowman figurines arranged in various places around the kitchen (even the salt and pepper shakers were a Mr. and Mrs. Snowman now).

Neil followed each gesture obediently, then met Nicky’s eyes. “Oh. Is it?”

The sound that came out of Nicky was something between a scream and a sob. Neil reached across the table and pilfered a piece of bacon, munching on it as the twins also started to fill their plates and Nicky pulled himself back together again. 

This time, it was Andrew that took pity on his cousin. 

“Neil knows what and when Christmas is, Nicky.”

Nicky looked from Andrew to Neil, then to Aaron (who rolled his eyes and took two extra links of sausage), before finally settling his gaze back on Neil. 

Neil blinked at him, then smiled -- because.. well, he couldn’t think of a reason not to, and wasn’t that a weird reason to smile? Instead of commenting on any of that he stole two sausages directly off of Aaron’s plate and put them on Nicky’s, ignoring the affronted cursing from the other man. 

“Merry Christmas, Nicky,” he said pointedly, then went about loading his own plate. 

Neil had never thought much about Christmas before, it just hadn’t been anywhere close to his list of things to worry about. But now... now that he was able to think about things that, well, that weren’t worries he thought that maybe it was something he could kinda get used to. Maybe it was something he could like -- especially if it meant sleepy, cozy mornings and times like this, where he could be so comfortable, so happy, in the circle of his family.

[danwylds]

Right okay I never actually got myself to write this fic so have my notes for the fic except I haven’t read through them since June when I wrote them and I refuse to edit anything

Right is bakery au but not

Neil either turned down the offer of exy for the foxes or for coach whatever the fuck his name was

He got caught earlier tho which is . Unfortunate

Stuart still comes in

Maybe I’ll have him move back to Britain for a while? To avoid the moriyamas n stuff

He NEVER misses a match of the ravens/foxes tho

Which leads to him seeing the frankly sickening interview of Kevin and riko

Neil is like yo Stuart let me start smth

Stuart is like Neil the only reason you’d go back to the states right now is if you did smth that you could hide and you can’t do that for shit

So Neil is like yk what I’m gonna find a way bc I’m not letting this kid go through this (Andrews quite into this idea when it’s shared)

So he says yo. Stuart. Uncle. Sir. Let me open a bakery or something in the states

Stuart is like no you fucking idiot

And Neil is like but c o n s i d e r

You can get info or smth

Just have another business in the states yk

AND I’d get out of your hair

And Stuart is like hm okay but you’ve gotta live in a complex I choose for you

And Neil is all only if I can choose where it’s gonna be

It’s a deal

He (very obviously) chooses a place near palmetto

Stuart is tired but is like he’ll be under protection n shit so I guess??? And he’s not stupid enough to start something right. Right.

Wrong.

Anyways.

It’s a bakery that starts out kinda slow

But Neil finds he likes baking and Stuart pays for his nephew to have some sort of normal life so it doesn’t matter too much

Renee starts to frequent it

At first it’s to pick up sweets for Andrew

But eventually she starts bringing Allison on dates there bc they have a cute little seating area (figure where Seth fits in? I think he’ll survive?)

Uhhh what’s a timeline

I think this’ll be around the winter holidays (Jewish neil? Look into it)

So thanksgiving will have happened . I think Andrew agreed to go Not bc he particularly wanted to but bc he cares for Nicky and knows he’ll probably go anyways

Yeah so thanksgiving. h

Andrew JUST got off his drugs and he’s so damn protective of his own that he hardly even leaves their sides

Edens is a def no for em

Meanwhile Neil is tentative friends w Renee who has brought all the upperclassmen there a few times

Allison bullies him for his clothing but it’s okay he deserves it

Renee is sweet and stops em from doing anything too drastic which Neil appreciates

Matt,, my baby,, he’s so happy he just asks Neil about random stuff

Dan is sweet too!!

Seth kinda hates him but Neil hasn’t paid enough attention to return the favor

One day close to the winter banquet the upperclassmen are like yeah Neil we’re gonna go to this thing and it should be really fun!! Oh you know what? Our teammate Nicky needs a date and his cousin doesn’t really like anyone from his class and he’s super fucking crazy abt it so if that doesn’t deter you then you should totally join !

Neil is like oh chance to fuck up Riko? Absolutely I’ll go

ALLISON DRESSES HIM

HE LOOKS SO GOOD

when he and Allison emerge from the girls room Aaron is like Who is that

And Allison is “oh nickys date (:”

Andrew gets twitchy and holds a knife to her throat

Renee is like Andrew I stg get away from my gf and Seth is like manic pixie nightmare fuel I’m gonna beat the shit outta you

And Neil is just like same shit every day I guess

And he’s like so you’re Nicky then? COMPLETELY IGNORING YK. ALL THAT

Andrew is like “he is. Don’t touch him”

And Neil straight up says I don’t think you get to set boundaries for people, actually

And Neil has no idea what the effect is of that on Andrew but it’s enough to make him glare

Which is terrifying to everyone but Neil bc again. Dumbass

Anyways Neil very purposely hooks his arm through nickys and they head off to the bus

Dunno what happens there but I’ll figure it out

RIKOOO ROASTTT **AIRHORNNNNSSS**

It’s glorious

Kevin and riko are like who the FUCK are you

And Neil is all wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

They relocate and they’re all like . Ah. That’s why you and Renee get along

It’s kinda funny ngl

Andrew doesn’t think so but fuck him

I think that they head back to the bus when this shit I’d over and wymack is like excuse me what the fuck

And Aaron in german is like thank god he never joined the team bc I could not handle more of that

And Neil in German is like would you believe me I’d I told you I was almost signed

And Andrew is like I fucking Knew it I hate it here

N e ways things go back to normal for the most part

The upperclassmen still show up

Seth has a bit of grudging respect for him

It’s later that all the foxes are getting drunk from a lose that Renee calls him and is like Neil please can I usher them inside for a bit I think they need a place to chill so we don’t get yelled at for being too loud in the dorms

And Neil is like uhh sure why not

It turns out it was not just the upperclassmen

He gives them all water bottles and whatever and lets them lounge around

Gives em some food which they pay for w the coachs card

Uhhh idk time passes and some of the foxes pass out so neil is like y’all can chill in the break room? They have couches

He stays out there bc the bakery is still open

Andrew comes out like hey fuck you but also can I get more of those pastries

Idk I want them to be in love already

Uhh yeah I think they don’t say anything until

“what happened to your face”

“A truth for a truth?”

“If you must insist”

“Fine, my father tried to kill me”

Andrew raises his eyebrow but neils like bitch you said a truth for a truth it’s your turn now

Neil asks him why he wears arm bands

We get the whole knives and scars

They’re quiet again

I don’t know man let them be in love

Uhhh okay

I think Andrew will tell neil like

“[code]”

“Huh”

“That’s the code for the court, Kevin practices at night.”

Neil is like how would you know I’d enjoy playing exy? And andrew is like dipshit that’s how we met

I’m running out of ideas oh no

Maybe they play a couple of night game things

Exchange a few more truths

OHHH OKAY COOL SO THEN NEIL CAN GO TO EDENS W THEM THE WHOLE “DOESNT MEAN I WOULDNT BLOW YOU” THING CAN STILL HAPPEN

sick okay! They start dating but since Baltimore happened earlier they never actually come out to the rest of the team

I like to think when they play against the ravens again neils like haha babe you can have as many sweets as you want if you shut down the goal

Also Neil says it’s hot which is like a big thing to persuade Andrew but shhhhh

Yeah the foxes win they celebrate by getting drunk and they all show up at neils like hello again (:

Same thing happens but this time andrew and Neil are together and basically are doing nothing but making out

At least the store is closed

Nicky comes out and just YELLS

YALLLLLL COME LOOK @ THIS SHIT

Allison wins SO much money

Yeah idk how to end this but happily ever after :3

If you want me to turn this into a fic I will!

[kahtookmylife]

Hiii, can I request a reader insert story? Where the reader is maybe Larry’s niece or something, and is set in the second movie, and she’s helping Larry when she gets captured by Al Capone and he stops her from being killed and they have a cute moment, you can decide how it ends😂 Thank youuuu😙

Heey! I got a little carried away with this one... I hope this is what you had in mind! ^^

Al Capone x Fem!Reader:

The sun slowly went down. People left the museum and went home to their families. The stars finally showed up in the sky, yet Larry and his niece couldn't watch their glowing figure because they had to save their friends. Some people would never believe what happened. A tablet that brings exhibits back to life has been stolen.

Larry's job was once to keep it safe. Even now, when he already left his job, Larry had to help his friends after all those joyful nights. He wasn't going to do that alone. His niece, Y/n, joined him in this dangerous adventure. Larry tried to stop her, but she insisted, so he let her come. That night, Larry made a big mistake. 

Larry, Amelia, and Y/n were running away from the French soldiers when they reached a dead end. The door was stuck. It just wouldn't open, no matter how hard they tried. 

"Uncle, you have to go now!" Y/n exclaimed. "I'll distract them!

"What?! I won't leave you here!" Larry shook his head. 

"You have to take that tablet to a safe place!" she insisted. "I will be alright!" 

"Mr. Daley, I agree with her." Amelia nodded. "If we stay, we lose. You have to choose which one is more important."

"Just go!" Y/n shouted. "I can take care of myself!"

"Okay..." he sighed. "But I'll come back. Please just... be careful..."

She nodded with a smile on her face. Larry and Amelia ran in the other direction, while Y/n sighed and waited for the soldiers. She grabbed a sword from the display. French soldiers and mafia men arrived to the room, alongside Napoleon and Al Capone. 

"You want to find them? Then you'll have to go through me!" Y/n yelled. 

"We only want the tablet!" the short man, she recognized as Napoleon, shouted. "But if you stand in our way, we'll kill you!"

"Try me b*tch." Y/n chuckled. 

The soldiers attacked her, and she tried to defend herself, but Y/n didn't know how to fight with a sword. When a man finally kicked it out of her hands, she was defeated. Al Capone grabbed her by her arm and dragged Y/n to the soldiers so they could tie her hands. She couldn't even scream for help. 

"Let me go!" she muffled when a soldier put his hands on her mouth. 

"Shut up!" the man grumbled. 

The only thing she could do was to listen to her capturers. Y/n wished she actually listened to her uncle this time, but she was too stubborn. She just wanted to help Larry, since he had done so many things for her and Nicky. The soldiers took her to the mad pharaoh that wanted the tablet so much. 

"Did you get the tablet?" he asked. 

"No, but we captured his daughter." Napoleon pointed at Y/n. 

"Niece..." she corrected him. 

“Niece.” he nodded.

"Whatever..." the pharaoh shook his head. 

He took a look at her, then turned back to examine some jewelry. 

"Tie her up somewhere." he shrugged. "Go after Larry Daley and tell him if he doesn't give the tablet back, I will personally kill her." 

Napoleon nodded and directed his men to tie Y/n up. After that, they simply left the room. Y/n had some time to look at the exhibits. She recognized Ivan the Terrible and Al Capone, but she had no idea how the pharaoh was called. 

"Excuse me... Uhm... Mr..." she looked at the pharaoh. 

"I am Kahmunrah, great king of great kings, and from the darkest depths of ancient history." he introduced himself. 

"Okay. Cool. I'm Y/n. Nice to meet you." she greeted him. "Now... I don't want to be rude or anything, but... Could you let me go already?!" 

"Yeah, of course." he nodded. "Let me just sit on my throne all night first. Thank you." 

Kahmunrah sat down and ignored Y/n's existence. 

"Wow. Rude." she snorted. "I bet your brother would release me." 

Only then did she realize what she just said. The pharaoh looked at her and stood up. Y/n could see the anger in his eyes as she gulped. He started going towards her, which made him look scarier.  

"Oh... You think my little baby brother could be better than me?" he clenched his jaw. "That's what you think?!"

"Oi!" a sudden voice interrupted him. "Don't kill her!" 

Al Capone came closer to them and stood between the two. 

"I can take care of her where her friends can hear her screams." he explained. "It would probably hurt Daley if he received the news from his friends, wouldn't it?" 

"Fine." he rolled his eyes. "Just take her away from me." 

Al Capone nodded, then commanded his boys to drag Y/n somewhere else. She constantly tried to escape, but they were too strong. When they were far enough, Al Capone commanded them to release her. 

"Now go." he smirked. "No one would want to see such a pretty lady die." 

"Should I thank you now?" she asked. 

"Only if you want to, doll." Al Capone winked. 

"Thanks... I guess..." she nodded. "Why did you help me, though? I was just fine on my own..."

"Yeah... Sure." he laughed. "However, we don't have time for a little chit-chat. Find that stupid Daley before I change my mind, doll."

"Thank you, Mr. Capone." Y/n forced a little smile on her face. 

"Anytime, doll." he chuckled. "Just call me Al, by the way."

"I thought you really wanted to kill me." she giggled nervously. 

"Nah, ya face is too gorgeous for that." he shrugged. "Now go!"

"Fine! Thanks again!" she exclaimed. 

Al stood there, watching her figure as she ran on the corridor. His boys looked at him with a confused expression. They didn't understand what made him release the girl. One of them came closer to him to ask the question. 

"Boss, why did ya let her go?" he looked in his eyes. 

"I don't know." Al shrugged. "I guess she just reminded me of myself. When I got in trouble in my younger years, ya know?"

His men were still confused, but shrugged it off and returned to the room where Kahmunrah's throne stood. 

[captain-danwilds]

One Step Forward

Hi @avengerpercy! I realize I didn’t take Brazil’s timezone into account when posting this so I’m sorry this is technically late, but here’s your @aftgexchange gift.  I hope this is good enough for you Cristal.  This is my first time playing in the AFTG sandbox, so I wanted to live up to your expectations.  I ended up using your prompt “Andrew and Aaron talking and solving their problems”  for a little outsider POV Andreil fluff with a large helping of twinyards.   

A few quick notes. Betsy and the joint sessions set the backdrop for this fic even though I am not a therapist and also not trying to make some statement about therapy in general (Personally I’m a big fan, but also recognize that Aaron really doesn’t seem to be in we’re in his POV.) I’m not trying to demonize Aaron or Andrew here.  Aaron just fundamentally misunderstands Andrew.  Also Raven King/Drake Incident references.  

Ever since Aaron had found out Andrew existed, he’d felt unsteady.   It wasn't just the sudden knowledge of how different his life could have been if Tilda hadn't decided to come back to get him or even if she'd just taken the other baby.   It was the fact his brother was a mass of contradictions piled on top of each other and every aspect of their relationship was built on the idea of one step forward and two steps back.

Aaron wasn't an idiot.  When the officer at the stupid game had mentioned Andrew, Aaron didn't expect his long-lost brother to immediately love him.  This wasn't a television show.   He knew by now that blood only went so far, that it hadn't stopped his mother from raising her hand to him or Uncle Luthor from sending Nicky away only for his cousin to come back a shell of himself.  But he couldn't deny he wanted it to work desperately, for there to be another little boy out there whose life might be made better by having a brother in it.  

His first step forward a letter that had to be rewritten at least twice because everything sounded wrong.  His bedroom trash can overflowed with pieces of notebook paper crumpled in frustration or with ink smeared from tears he'd never admit to anyone he'd actually shed.  Aaron must have spent hours writing the letter, typing it up in stolen time at the school library and sneaking to the post office while Mom had been out of it.  

Hours completely wasted when the only reply was two words:  "Fuck Off."

That should have been the sign to leave things well enough alone.  

But instead, he'd taken the return address and written a second letter to "the guardians of Andrew Doe."  

And instead of an answer from his brother, Aaron had gotten a voicemail saying Andrew had gone to Juvie.  

Even the slightest hint of progress was met with resistance.    

Gaining a brother meant losing his mom and never being in control of his decisions anymore.  

Andrew lived by his own rules, an unspoken tally system of betrayals where Aaron would never be the one who measured up.  Andrew wouldn't say it, because Andrew didn't say anything now that he was off the drugs.  Aaron knew his brother only cared about him in context of proving that he'd never broken their deal.  Until he called the whole thing off for Josten.  

Josten, the idiot that would say things like "Andrew doesn't lie"  as if he actually believed him.  As if there truly was some magical code his brother followed that made sense.    

"If you really don't care about Andrew, why does Neil bother you so much?"   Dobson asked during their Wednesday session.

Aaron dug his fingers into the couch.  He hated this.  Hated that the only time he could get answers out of Andrew was when he was sitting in front of a shrink.   A shrink who was undoubtedly on his brother's side. And that in order to get answers he had to rip himself raw first.  

"I understand that therapy isn't for everyone,"  She'd said smiling gently during their first mandatory meeting freshman year.  "More than that, therapy with me might not be your answer,  so don't let today stop you from seeking help in the future if that's what you decide you want.  I can direct you to one of my colleagues who you might feel more comfortable with."  

They'd been meeting for almost a year now and Aaron still wasn't comfortable with her, no matter how many cups of hot chocolate she offered or how many smiles she gave.   They'd come a long way from the complete silence and blank expression of his first individual session or even the harsh words the first time he'd shown up to Andrew's session, but it wasn't comfortable by any means.  

The point was he wasn't about to pour his heart out to her even if Andrew wasn't in the room.  With Andrew there, Aaron had no good way to answer the question without giving too much of himself away again, of being hurt when everything went to hell. Still, Aaron couldn't help but let the multitude of answers flow over him.  

Because Josten waltzes in, every ounce of him screaming lie and danger, and this team bends over backwards for him. Because Aaron's seen enough to know Josten is dangerous.  Because he will kill him if Josten doesn't keep his big mouth from bring the mafia down on them again before Aaron graduates and he can't handle another murder trial.  Because Josten makes it so easy, throwing as many insults back as he gives.   Those are the easy answers, because Aaron's life doesn't revolve around Andrew. He can hate Josten because Josten is a piece of shit who makes every aspect of his life harder.  

But that's also not the whole truth.  Because he saw the way Andrew looked at him in Baltimore, the tender movements in his hands completely at odds with the angry spark in his eyes.  Because Andrew hates people touching him and yet he doesn't hesitate to wrap his hand around the back of Josten's neck.  Because there's something aggravating in the way that Andrew can look at Josten and see something precious when he never looks at Aaron like that.  

Aaron doesn't want to think his life revolves around Andrew, but his hatred of Josten certainly does.  It’s partially jealousy.  Why does this nobody get easy answers from Andrew?  What makes him so special?  

But the larger issue is that Aaron has seen Andrew broken.  As much as Aaron wants to wish Drake away, he can’t.  He’ll never be able to get Andrew’s face out of his head or the manic laugh left by the drugs. There are nights where he wakes up feeling like he still has the blood on his hands, that he’ll never be free of the feeling of Andrew knotting his fingers through his hair in worry when Andrew’s the one covered in bruises.  Seeing his brother like that once was enough to break him.  He doesn’t understand how Andrew can let Josten so close when Josten is a walking danger magnet.  He doesn’t know what he would do when Josten inevitably hurts Andrew, because that’s the type of danger Andrew can’t just stab with a knife.    

Betsy gave a small cough and Aaron knew he'd been quiet too long.  He avoided Betsy's gaze to look at the clock.  They were already a few minutes over their time.   He wouldn’t have answered at all, just turned back to glare at Betsy until she dismisses them both for the day except he saw Andrew.  

Andrew was still angled away from him on the opposite end of the couch.  His mouth was still turned in a slight frown, but Andrew’s gaze had sharpened.  Even months ago, Aaron might have missed it.  It was a sign of amusement, slight exasperation maybe, but also one of want.  Aaron had never seen that expression for any reason other than Josten, and now it’s directed at him.

“Josten isn’t safe.”  

Andrew gave a huff that might even be considered laughter.

“I’m serious. You’re giving him the power to hurt you.  Just because you don’t care about your own wellbeing, doesn’t mean I’m going to stand by and let him get away with it.”  

“I don’t need you to fight my battles for me.”  Andrew waved his hand dismissively.  “Which is good because you’re shit at picking the right battles.”  

Aaron groaned.  “And what do you mean by that?”  

“Neil won’t hurt me.”  He said it like it should be obvious, like he can’t believe Aaron missed something so fundamental.  

“But how can you know that?”  

“How do you know Kaitlyn won’t hurt you?”  The words were thrown like a weapon to end this conversation.  

But Aaron isn’t about to rise to the bait.  Andrew seemed to think that every girl was just going to be another Tilda, that Aaron would let them hurt him for the scraps of affection.  He knew Andrew didn’t decide Kaitlyn was safe out of the goodness of his heart, so his answer made no sense.  

“Why shouldn’t I be worried about Neil hurting you?”  Aaron repeated himself more directly, even calling the idiot by his first name as a sign of good will.  

Andrew looked down at his hands, his right-hand tracing seemingly random places around each of the knuckles on his left.  The gesture seemed both familiar and wrong.   Finally Andrew took a deep breath and looked directly at Aaron.  

“He listens when I say no.”

The words are simple, but Aaron can hear the depth of meaning there.  He gave a slight nod.

Andrew must still see that he doesn’t fully understand, because he continued softly, “He promised he’d stay” before nodding at Betsy and leaving the two of them alone in the room.  

Aaron doesn’t hear Betsy’s chipper goodbye or even comprehend most of practice afterwards. His mind is reeling and even though Andrew only gave him ten words, it feels like one hell of a step forward.  

It’s only later at one of the Fox movie nights that Aaron realized why Andrew’s fidgeting looked wrong.  He’d seen that gesture before.  Andrew’s right hand gently tracing the scars on Neil’s as they sit side by side in silence, barely acknowledging each other but still taking pleasure in each other’s presence.   It’s easy to miss the moment when Neil leans easily back into Andrew and Andrew only tugs their scarred hand closer.  

Aaron hated that it’s this little action is what finally makes him understand. Andrew’s words about Kaitlyn no longer felt like a dig.   It was his brother’s roundabout way of trying to phrase his relationship with Neil in a way Aaron would understand. When you love someone, the world seems safer with them in it.  Andrew might not have said the word love, but he didn’t have to. 

[nkp1981]

Fan A.U: With a little help from my friends

While Joe and Nicky are trying to figure out if they want to go on a date, their friends can't help commenting on everything Joe and Nicky does.

Nicky had literally danced himself straight into a gorgeous man’s arms when after five pints insisted that he wasn't drunk and wanted to prove it to Andy and Nile by moonwalking in the crowded bar, but because he at the age of 30 still had a habit of forgetting to tie his shoelaces, he had with his first dance move stepped on the shoelaces and felt backward and would have hit the floor if it hadn’t been for the man, who caught him. They stood like this smiling stupid to each other until someone pushed the man, and he had to let go of Nicky, who got pushed further back and decided to sit down at the table with his friends and took a big slurp of the pint in front of him, when he lost track of the man.

"Wow if I had known it was that easy to meet a good looking guy, I would have done what you just did ages ago." Nile joked but before Nicky could say anything the man was almost forced down next to him by a big guy. "Ladies, I suspect that we all three are having the same problem right now with our friends, who both are too shy to grab the chance of asking the other one out for a date, so why don't we help them by paying them their drinks and leave them alone to figure it out by observing them at the next table?” The big guy asked. "Sounds like a brilliant idea, because it would spare me from listing to Nicky tomorrow when he starts to complain over, what an idiot he was." Andy said and threw 10 dollars on the table which Nile and the guy also did before he made a sign to the waitress. “Now, don’t behave like silly teenagers, kids.” Nile said as they left Nicky and the other man alone at the table and they just returned to look stupid at each other again.

“I’m sorry about my friend Booker. He means it well in his own clumsy way. You’re Nicky?” The man asked and Nicky just nodded. “I’m Joe. So, do you often moonwalk in a bar?” Joe asked and Nicky shook his head. “Is it now, I should ask you to stop to talk?” Joe joked and Nicky shook his head again, which made Joe laugh. “I need to know can you only nod and shake your head or do you also speak?” Joe wanted to know, and it was there Nicky realized, that he hadn’t said a word but had been staring at Joe and that Nicky’s brain had gone completely blank and his mouth had gone dry, so Nicky reached for his glass but instead, he ended up knocking Nile’s glass and its content down in the lap of Joe, which made Nicky want to run out of the bar and hide forever from the world. “I’m so sorry.” Nicky said and reached for the napkin which resulted in, that he also knocked the content from Andy’s glass down in Joe’s lap.

“That boy is never getting a boyfriend if he doesn’t get his nerves under control.” Andy said with a deep sigh when they saw the scene unfold from the other table. “I know what you mean. Joe has a habit of talking without breathing.” Booker replied also with a deep sigh. “At least it’s better than a soap opera.” Nile joked, which made them all laugh.

“Maybe I should just go before I end up knocking more drinks down in your lap.” Nicky said resignedly and reached for his jacket. “Don’t go, please.” Joe said and placed a hand over Nicky’s to prevent him from leaving.

“Wow, that was new. Can you remember the last time Nicky let anyone hold his hand” Nile asked Andy, who just shook her head as a response. “Joe has also never done that before.” Booker said surprised. “You seem like you speak from experience.” Andy said and emptied her glass. “Well, that man has more dating rules, than I ever will have and if I remember correctly holding hands in number 5 or 6, so if Joe just skipped the first rules, he must truly like your friend.” Booker replied.

“Why not? I have already ruined your pants, which I promise to compensate you for.” Nicky said and looked sorry at Joe, who moved closer to Nicky. “Don’t beat yourself up, dear. It’s only pants, so why don’t we start this all over? I’m Joe and I’m very happy to meet you.” Joe said and reached his hand out for a handshake, which Nicky took. “Nicky and likewise.” Nicky replied with a smile and moved closer to Joe, so their knees touched each other.

“Is that a normal thing with your friend?” Booker wanted to know. “No, normally we can’t get Nicky to interact with other people.” Andy said. “The last time we tried, and it went wrong, it took us four weeks to get Nicky out of the apartment to go to a cafe.” Nile said.

“I’m glad you decide to moonwalk.” Joe said and rubbed his neck nervously. “You should really be thanking my shoelaces for it.” Nicky replied and looked briefly down at his shoes before he looked at Joe again. “Then thanks to them.” Joe said and reached for the shoelaces. “What are you doing?” Nicky wanted to know. “Preventing you from tripping over them again, because I would be really sad if you fell into another man’s arm.” Joe replied and tied the shoelaces before he tied a double knot.

At the other table all three leaned to their right to see, what Joe was doing under the table, but none of them could see it, because of all the people and instead they sat up in a hurry when Joe caught them out of the corner of his eyes and looked down at the table pretending, that they hadn't done it.

“Not planning to. What is it?” Nicky wanted to know when he saw Joe looking at their friends. “Have you ever seen The Muppet Show?” Joe asked and Nicky nodded. “Do you remember the old men on the balcony? I got a feeling, that our friends have been commenting on everything, we have done so far.” Joe said. “Any ideas as to what we should do?” Nicky asked and Joe put his mouth to Nicky’s ear to whisper something, that made Nicky laugh and blush.

“What the hell?” Andy said when she saw it. “No way, Joe isn’t a fast mover.” Booker said almost choking on his beer. “Are they about to kiss?” Nile asked and all three could no longer keep up the pretense of not looking at Joe and Nicky.

“That’s a brilliant idea.” Nicky said with a laugh in his voice. “I know, but if we do it, do you promise me a kiss?” Joe asked and Nicky nodded while blushing even more. “Then let’s do it.” Joe said and made a sign to the waitress.

“Do you also got the feeling, they’re plotting something?” Booker asked and looked at the other two. “Strangely enough yes.” Andy replied, but more she didn’t get to say when they founded themselves surrounded by a crowd, who started to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ to Nile, before handing her a bottle of whiskey and went back to work. Then they all looked over at the other table and realized that Joe and Nicky had used the commotion to disappear. “Points for an original idea.” Booker said laughing. “At least they left us with a parting gift.” Andy said and they spend the rest of the evening at the bar talking about small and big stuff.

“Can’t believe that it actually worked.” Nicky said as they turned a corner. “Either can I.” Joe replied laughing and took Nicky’s hand. They walked a bit in silence until they found a bench, where they sat down. “You promised me something.” Joe said and placed a finger under Nicky’s chin and kissed him. “What do you say, we go out eating tomorrow without friends?” Nicky asked. “I thought you would never ask.” Joe replied and kissed him again. 

my creation

[bi-leigh-bi]

Cliche tropes and prompts, 1 and 28

@coffeemakesmeahappybean asked for #1: there’s people chasing us and I pulled you into the alley with me and wow you’re close and #28: we literally ran into each other

Later Andy will roll her eyes and remind them that this is why she doesn’t send them out on jobs separately anymore. Later she will hold up her hand to silence Joe’s witty reply and Nicky’s attempt at an apology. The first she will be too tired for. The second, Nicky knows, will not be necessary. Later Joe will bury his face in Nicky’s neck and stifle his laughter.

Later.

Now? Right now Nicky is running. It’s not that he wouldn’t survive being caught. It’s that if he’s taken it will be Joe and Nile and Andy who must save him and he doesn’t want them to be hurt. He doesn’t want them to suffer. And it’s his fault this has gone sideways. He knows that since London he has been too protective. Too reluctant to let Joe out of his sight, to let Andy and Nile out of his sight, to let his family separate. Suddenly his family has seemed very... precious and very breakable.

And if he’d been able to step back and be objective he wouldn’t have jumped the gun, alerted their target to their goal, and put them all in danger.

So he runs, knowing they are running as well, and hopes they are all fast enough to outrun his stupidity. His hopes are dashed as he turns a corner, very nearly but not quite losing his footing on the slick cobblestone of the street, and literally crashes into Yusuf. He tries to catch him, to catch them both, but there’s men right behind his love and shots ring out. They pierce Joe and into Nicky and there may be no more perfect a metaphor for their love, what hurts one hurting the other. Their blood spilled together. He turns them, spinning, body trying to heal around wounds that would slowly kill any other man.

There is the glint of his dagger as he pulls it from its hidden sheath in his jacket sleeve and then the man who shot them is holding his throat as he dies. A shot sounds over his shoulder and another man goes down. Nicky takes an elegant step forward and grabs the last man, spinning him into Joe’s shot just as he takes it.

For a long moment they are quiet, breathing hard, staring at one another. And then Joe steps forward, just one step, and Nicky surges forward to grab him. Their lips meet with furious desire, with fear, with longing for what they have been denied for weeks now as this mission went on with seemingly no end.

“I ruined,” he breathes out roughly, as their lips drag apart. “I ruined it, I put us in danger-“

Lips on his again and he can’t help but moan as Joe’s tongue parts his lips and he kisses him deeper now. There is the tang of blood that may belong to either of them or the men at their feet. It does not matter because there is Joe. The taste of him. That Nicky has nearly gone mad missing.

“Had you not, I would have,” Joe whispers against his lips. It’s a placation, Joe would not have, but Nicky takes it for the forgiveness it is. “We need to run,” he says.

He is right. More men will come. They need to run further into the city where violence will not go unnoticed. He can’t lie to himself. He feels better knowing that Joe is with him now. Joe wipes his face, trying to clean him of blood. And they zip up their jackets in at least some attempt to hide the blood of their own wounds.

Then they run. Joe taking the lead and Nicky following close behind. The further into the city they go the more they slow down. They don’t want to draw attention.

“Shit, shit,” Joe curses, and Nicky feels a hand grab his jacket and pull him into an alley.

He finds himself cramped into a very narrow space, his back against cool brick and Joe very warm and very close. His eyes drag up his neck, his face, to meet those dark eyes. How can eyes so dark be so bright? He will never know, but he knows there are stars that exist only in the galaxies of his Yusuf’s eyes. And he loves him. Oh, he loves him.

“I have missed you so,” Joe murmurs. “I think- I think that after this we should take a break.”

Nicky’s eyes widen. They are so close the words are practically said against his lips and yet he can hardly believe them.

“I have seen enough of blood on you, for at least one life time, if not more,” Joe admits. “And we have been running since London.

“Literally, at the moment,” Nicky adds.

But it’s true. They’d left London but they hadn’t taken a break. Nicky knows they’re pushing it. That they should have taken time. That after all that had happened they just needed to breath. But Andy had been rejuvenated and given new purpose. He could hardly say no to that. Could he? With time possibly limited now? With her vulnerabilities?

“Niccoló,” Joe whispers, bringing his attention back to him. “A break,” he repeats, insistent.

He opens his mouth but is silenced by Joe shifting them just a bit, crowding closer- if that’s even possible- and sliding his thigh between Nicky’s.

“Yusuf,” he hisses, his entire body lighting up at the contact.

“Fabria’s men,” Joe murmurs, lips at Nicky’s throat now so that his head tips back. “Play along,” he says teasingly, as if Nicky is doing anything but.

Teeth drag against his neck and he can’t help but moan, hands clutching at the back of Joe’s leather jacket. Joe makes a satisfied noise and rocks his body into Nicky’s. Weeks. It had been weeks. A warm hand slides around his back and beneath his shirt. Long fingers spread across his skin and pull him somehow closer. Nicky groans, already breathing hard.

Joe raises his head, eyes mischievous and heated. When he leans in for a kiss Nicky’s lips are already half parted, one hand curling around the back of his neck, pushing into dark curls. Their tongues slide together, Joe’s body still rocking into his. Their mark’s men must see them, but most people don’t focus on a couple doing... what they are doing.

There are giggles and hushed whispers from those passing by, but no one really pays he and Joe any mind. Not truly. They’re hardly the only couple kissing in dark allies. And so they kiss and kiss and their hands touch and grasp and cling. Their bodies move together, they’re both half hard, but this is languid now and slow. Hardly the time or place to truly be with one another. Not that that has stopped then before.

“We can be away from one another, Andromache, we are not incapable of functioning without each other,” comes a mocking voice. Throwing words that are his own back at him. “Are you two done or should I give you some more alone time?”

Joe is smiling at him as he pulls away, then kisses him one more time before turning towards Andy as much as one can turn in such a cramped space. Andy’s hand raises, she gives them a flat look. Nicky opens his mouth to apologize but he gets the same look.

“Don’t. I am never sending you two alone again. Ever. Galway 1477 is actually the last time you two functioned through an entire job without each other.”

Nicky squints his eyes, trying to remember. Ah. Yes. The year he’d met that villain Columbus. But he hadn’t been what they’d been after. Sometimes Nicky wonders what it could be like in the world if he had been. But then, those were the thoughts he often had, having lived for so long.

“Come on,” Andy says, shaking her head at them, starting to smile in spite of herself. “Nile is already back at the safe house and she managed to get what we came for in all the commotion you two caused.” She shook her head again. “So at least there’s that.”

She checks the street one more time and starts away from them. Joe looks back at him, cups his cheek in his hand.

“A break,” he says softly. “Yes?”

Nicky pulls him in and kisses him one more time. “A break,” he agrees. A short one, maybe, but a break all the same.