Tumgik
#and Heather is her own person
mat-neptune · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Wake up Harry!
8 notes · View notes
amebelladonna · 16 days
Text
Yukari: *does the most realistic way someone like her could do to cope with the loss of an important figure in her life by being a little too irrational* Some illiterate peeps: What a jerk! I hate her! She's being unreasonable!
Atlus: *removes the part of Yukari's breakdown in Episode Aigis where she tries to steal the key from Aigis and tones it down to help her not come off as harsh as she did but still conveys some emotion at the very least and is somewhat more faithful to her personality in the Japanese dub, which the original moderately changed bc of the voice direction*
Some illiterate peeps: Why did they remove it?! It's an important part of her character!
11 notes · View notes
Text
Barrett Wilbert Weed, I love you, but that one interview where you said Janis would think of Veronica as weak bothers me.
18 notes · View notes
tepli-mravenci · 2 years
Text
You guys am I crazy or did Velma 2023 fuck up exactly in the same wannabe woke way as Heathers 2018?
75 notes · View notes
beansnpeets · 8 months
Text
My aunt found my Instagram and started following my dog account 😬
9 notes · View notes
Note
poor RB, not only does she have all those scars, someones gone and stolen her clothes!
pfft
actually that is something to touch on, she's got very little self consciousness! the scars are more inconvenient than anything, in how gingerly she had to treat them for them to heal and how she's lost feeling or skin elasticity in those areas. otherwise she doesn't give a damn about how they look! she's hardly alone in that either, plenty of people in Hisui have dramatic-looking scars, injuries, or deformities. people may gossip about her looks, but depending on public opinion of the day they may praise her heroism surviving injury in the line of duty or scorn her for being the kind of reckless, dangerous person to hunt monsters
on top of that, since i'm taking some elements of Japanese culture for Jubilife, the entire village washes in a communal sento, a bathhouse. RB has to get used to being naked around other people anyways (something which she's not very perturbed by to begin with tbh), and also needs to get accustomed to bathing out in the wild. it takes days to travel across Hisui, there's no quick and easy popping back to Jubilife for a wash after sprawling in the mud in the Crimson Mirelands
anyways. i know this is a joke about the ref i drew but have some tidbits of lore for free
3 notes · View notes
whimsicalcotton · 4 months
Text
once again suffering from Thinking About Heather Duke Disease
3 notes · View notes
steampunk-raven · 6 months
Text
playing the fun game of “is this alter an age regressor who just acts super differently when not regressed or are there two of this guy but one is a little over a decade older than the other?”
2 notes · View notes
thatgirlwithasquid · 15 days
Text
can tell my thoughts on this au have shifted a lot cause im listening to my playlist for it for the first time in months and wow i gotta prune this thing. this song does NOT fit the vibe anymore. pretty sure this one is from when they were less fucked up and the main drama on the relationship front was chrissy technically not having broken up with jason lmao
1 note · View note
sundrop-writes · 3 months
Text
Mister Mxyzptlk
Tumblr media
Stiles Stilinski x Fem!Reader Blurb
Word Count: 800
Sundrop's Main Masterlist
Warnings: mentions of bullying (Stiles being bullied for having a 'weird' name); mentions of Stiles's trauma surrounding his mother's death; obscure comic book references; this is mostly just fluff - very light implications toward sexual themes, flirting and romantic attraction between Stiles and the reader.
A/N: So, the last time I was actively watching Teen Wolf (when S3 and S4 were airing) I thought it was a running gag that Stiles's real name was never revealed and it was just always a mystery to the audience (like how it's a gag in Degrassi that Heather St. Claire's face is never seen). But when I saw a tiktok showing his real name, I was shocked, and then entirely amused by it. And I was also really offended because I'm watching S1 for the first time and the coach calls Stiles's name 'child abuse' and his father doesn't even dispute that, knowing that it's a family name to honour his dead mother's side of the family. And the fact that he is a character whose real name is very hard to pronounce and very few people actually know what it is got me thinking about the comic book character - Mister Mxyzptlk - and I realized that Stiles, being a comic book nerd who is always referencing things like The Incredible Hulk and Batman and Robin, would fucking love that comparison. Thus, this mini fic. Usually, this is an idea I would save and put it as a moment in a longer fic, but I'm not currently working a fic where I feel like this fits in, so it has become its own mini fic. Random idea, but enjoy this random fluff.
...
"Is Stiles your real name?"
You inquired lightly, walking out of school with Scott and Stiles.
"It's something I've been wondering since we met."
Stiles felt a unique anxiety clutch in his chest at this question. He hated telling people his real name, especially when those people were pretty girls. Especially when they were pretty girls he had only met a week ago who were new in town who otherwise didn't know what a reputation he had for being a loser and could form their own opinions of him.
He could see any chance he had with you being flushed down the drain at top speed. But it wasn't much different from any other girl he previously had a crush on.
"Cause, I thought maybe it was your last name. Guys who play sports usually do that - always call each other by their last names." You went on, not sensing the awkwardness as Scott and Stiles eyed each other heavily, waiting for the other person to speak. "But I heard the coach calling you Balinski?"
"Stilinski." Stiles corrected you. "I think he gets my name wrong on purpose to belittle me." He gave a fake laugh to play it off, but you frowned.
"Stiles is a nickname." Scott added on, trying to usher Stiles away from the awkwardness of having to tell you himself. "His real first name is... really hard to pronounce, and not a lot of people at our school even know it. So - everyone just knows him as Stiles."
This brought Stiles back to a painful memory - in fourth grade, someone had seen the attendance sheet with his real name on it, and showed it to everyone else. And this had started a barrage of bullying and rumours about how he had gotten the name.
Some said that his mother hated him as soon as he was born and wanted to name him something really ugly to match him. Some said that his mother had a brain tumour and she named him in such an odd manner because her brain was 'mush' when he was born. And whenever people in the halls mockingly called him 'tumour baby' or 'brain tumour' - then he had to painfully be reminded of his mother's absence from his life.
"So you're like Mister Mxyzptlk?" You posed, a smile coming across your face from the joy of making such an apt reference.
Stiles looked at you then, unsure if he had heard you correctly - but his heart started to beat faster and he was sure that his crush developed into full, heart-stopping love in that moment.
A gorgeous, cute, sweet girl like you making such an obscure dorky reference - there was nobody else. Nobody else would ever make him feel the way you had in that moment.
Scott was entirely confused, looking between the two of you with utter dumbness across his face, wondering why Stiles' heart rate had increased so much.
"Ugh - yeah." Stiles stuttered out awkwardly. "Yeah, I guess I am."
"So, is learning your real name the power to defeating you?" You posed, smoothing your voice into a sultry tone, stepping closer to Stiles, running a hand up his bare forearm - clearly flirting now. "Do I get three chances to moan it in your ear without making a mistake before you're allowed to do whatever you want to me?"
Scott regretted his super-hearing, being able to catch exactly what you said in a low whisper against Stiles's ear.
Stiles's brain was short-circuiting.
You were making nerdy references and coming onto him now. His blood was rioting between rushing to his pants and giving him a heart attack, and soon, before he could stop it, he practically shouted:
"Marry me!"
And while this would have been a colossally awkward fumble with any other girl, you simply giggled and smiled.
"You're so cute." You complimented in return, reaching out to gently 'boop' a finger against his nose.
Stiles continued to gape at you, feeling like he needed to say more, needed to communicate just how epicly wonderful you were in his eyes.
"Chocolate? Or vanilla? Our wedding cake could have 4 tiers, or we could get one of those cupcake tower things, I heard those are really trendy."
You let out another laugh, thinking that he was joking - not realising that he was already picking out an engagement ring in his head, and wondering which comic book characters you would name your children after.
"We can start with a date." You told him. "Friday. After the game."
He nodded.
"Yes, date." He agreed eagerly. "A date would be amazing."
"I have to get going now." You added on - and he felt like he was floating when you leaned in and kissed him on the cheek before you departed. "See you later?"
"Everyday for the rest of our lives." Stiles mumbled quietly, entirely love-struck.
"What the hell was that?" Scott asked, still entirely baffled.
"We shall have a spring wedding." Stiles replied, his eyes still locked on your back as you walked away - clearly, he was still caught up in the euphoria of the interaction.
Scott had to drag him away.
612 notes · View notes
ceruark · 4 months
Text
ensnared. (yandere! prince! sunday x gn! royalty! reader)
Tumblr media
synopsis: prince sunday invites you to dance the entwine with him. if you evade capture, he’ll finally leave you alone. but if you get caught, you’re his forever. cw: general yandere themes - obsessive & possessive behavior, implied stalking words: 3,991 disclaimer/inspiration: the dance “The Entwine” is not my idea! it's from the novel Entwined by Heather Dixon, an all-time favorite of mine :)
Tumblr media
“The Entwine, also known as the Gentleman’s Catch, is an amusing and challenging redowa suitable for accomplished partners. [...] Similar to a trois-temps waltz, it is danced in open position with a long sash. The lady and gentleman each take ends of the sash, which their hands must not leave. In a series of quick steps (see below) the gentleman either twists the sash around the lady’s wrists, pinning them (also known as the Catch), or the lady eludes capture within three minutes’ time. STEPS. Twist (35), Needle’s Eye (35), Dip and Turn (36), Lady’s Feint (36), Bridge Arc (36), Under-Arm Swoop (37), Thread (37), Beading the Sash (38), the Catch (38).”
Excerpt from Entwined by Heather Dixon
It has been a year since the queen died.
You stand in the grand ballroom of your palace for the first time since your mother's death. It seems dimmer without her, lacking the light her laughter brought to it. Every shift of skirts has you looking for her, only to be disappointed when you catch yourself seeking out a ghost.
She ruled alone for nearly fifteen years. After your father died in battle when you were young, many other kingdoms tried to swoop in after she became widowed. They vied for her hand in marriage so they could expand their territory and get their hands on the lucrative gemstones that are excavated from your land's caverns. But the queen was unshakable, and she refused to remarry, continuing to keep her kingdom safe and opulent all on her own.
And she died last winter, an incurable sickness settling in her lungs seemingly overnight and stealing her final breath within the week.
You hardly had time to mourn her. With no one sitting on the throne, your mother's advisory court scrambled to find you a suitor so that you could marry and be crowned as soon as possible. There hadn't been a rush to find you one, but with the queen's sudden death, they need to get you on the throne before someone else came along to seize it.
Tonight, Welt— formerly your mother's personal advisor— had declared while you prepared for the ball. Tonight, we will find you a suitor. You will be coronated by summer.
You sigh as your gaze sweeps over the ballroom. Truthfully, you have no interest in any of the attendants. Most of them don't have anything noteworthy about their personalities, and those that do are individuals you've mentally decided are best kept at arm's length. You’re certain that more than half your selection pool were invited out of courtesy; none of them possess enough influence or value for your mother's advisory court to approve of a marriage between the two of you.
Except for one.
Penacony's beloved prince has been pursuing you for as long as you could remember. It started off innocent, a mere childhood crush. Long before you were adolescents, he would pluck flowers from the centerpiece vases on ballroom tables and hand them to you, ever the gentleman. You can still remember the sound of whichever court member was assigned to look after you cooing at the sight, endeared as you accepted the flower from his hands and spent the rest of the night at his side, discussing all the important matters that plagued the minds of young royalty.
And then, things changed.
As you two grew older, something about him shifted— you couldn't quite explain it. It made your skin crawl, the way his gaze trailed you throughout the ballroom, the way his fingers lingered just a little too long when he kissed your hand in greeting, the way anyone you shared mutual romantic interest with started avoiding you like the plague the second he heard of your budding relationship. There was something off about him— about his infatuation with you— and you distanced yourself from him as much as possible over the years.
Your mother's advisory court had been furious; they believed your eventual marriage to Sunday was set in stone given how taken you were with each other as children, and they planned for a prosperous future backed by Penacony's enormous and infinite wealth. They took your refusal to interact with him as rebellion and scoffed at your explanations, but luckily, you weren't alone in your suspicions. Your mother and Welt were also unsettled by the way he looked at you at formal gatherings, and your mother swiftly shut down her court's insistences on you trying to make amends with Penacony's prince.
We have no need for marriages of convenience. My child's happiness and safety will be valued above all else, she told them, and it was the end of the discussion.
Welt has upheld her and your wishes following her death, but the rest of the court are more willing to challenge him than they'd been to challenge the queen. Multiple court members have pestered you about marrying Sunday, stating that he would readily agree; you would get on the throne quickly, and the kingdom would prosper with his empire’s assets. Though they drop the topic the second you snap at them, you can tell they're still scheming, pulling at whatever strings they can to bring the prince back into your favor and push you into his arms.
And the undeniable proof of that stands across the room, piercing you with his golden eyes. Of course he's among the guests the court selected for you to choose your partner from. What else could you expect from them?
You sigh and swipe a glass of wine off a nearby table. It's going to be an incredibly long night.
As you sip at the bitter liquid and eye the blonde prince from Belobog, a familiar voice sounds behind you. "Something troubles you, Your Highness."
You turn around, relaxing at the sight of your faithful personal advisor. Veritas gazes down at you, face as neutral as ever.
"Someone," you respond, a frown tugging at your lips. "It appears the court is still refusing to let go of their little delusion."
He glances over your shoulder and hums noncommittally. "It appears so."
You swirl the red wine around in your glass, continuing your sweep of the guests. Certainly, Belobog's prince seemed like your best option right now. Albeit easily flustered, he was sweet and courageous— you would be able to fall for him given the time.
"Gepard Landau?" Veritas asks, his gaze having followed yours to the man standing beside his sister and her wife.
You look up, meeting his doubtful gaze. "Do you see any better options?"
He takes another glance around the room, then grimaces. You bring your hand to your mouth, covering your sudden laugh.
"Though he may be the most respectable of your options, there is not much Belobog can offer you." He tilts his head, still staring out at the crowd. "I suggest you reconsider."
You flash him a tight, sarcastic smile. "If that is the standard you suggest I go by, then my options are narrowed down to Aventurine and Sunday."
You get along fine with the blonde lord hailing from IPC territory, and he possesses charm like no other. He's gotten you more flustered than any other suitor has, but you know it's all fake. Something lurks beneath his picture-perfect exterior, and he keeps his cards too close to his chest for you to guess what his true intentions are. Someone like that can't be good news for you.
Veritas sighs. "I suppose Landau will have to do, then."
A flurry of movement and fabric draws your gaze to the dance floor. You light up as you watch two figures dance in the center of the crowd, one ducking and dodging out of reach while the other tries with fervor to capture them in their arms.
They've finally brought out the silk sashes used to dance the Entwine.
Your Entwine record is exemplary. When dancing as the gentleman, there were only a handful of people you hadn't been able to catch— Aventurine being one of them. Though your record dancing as gentleman is flawed, your skill when dancing as lady is unmatched and known far and wide.
In all your years, you have never been caught during a dance.
"Wonderful," you say, adrenaline rushing through your veins. You could already feel the exhilaration that came with successful capture and evasion. You turn to your advisor, eyes glistening beneath the lights. "Veritas, would you be so kind as to humor me with a dance?"
You think it's the light playing tricks on your eyes when he flushes red. Before he can respond, though, Welt strides up to the two of you and places a gentle hand on your shoulder.
"Perhaps you could get to know your potential suitors better through the Entwine, no?" The man you've come to think of as a father figure smiles down at you, the corners of his eyes creasing as he does. "You enjoy it so much, hopefully it can be used to bring you closer to someone— both literally and figuratively speaking."
Your smile matches his. "I think that's a great idea."
"Perfect." Welt turns toward the dance floor. "Allow me to announce—"
He stops dead in his tracks, freezing just in time to prevent himself from walking into someone. He backs up, and your blood runs cold at the sight left behind.
Sunday stands before you, pristine as ever, with a silver sash draped over his arm.
Welt finds his voice before you do. "Prince Oak," he greets, dipping his head into a bow. "A pleasure to see you again. We are very grateful for your attendance."
Sunday looks at him. The fond expression he had fixed on you smooths out into his perfect half-smile. He nods at Welt in acknowledgement. "Imperial Advisor Yang." He turns to your left, appearing less enthused to greet Veritas. "Imperial Advisor Ratio."
His eyes land on you again, and a chill runs down your spine. You force a polite smile onto your face, bowing your head slightly. "Prince Oak. An honor to see you again."
He sounds breathless when he responds. "The honor is all mine."
When his gaze starts to grow heavy on your shoulders, Welt clears his throat. He eyes the fabric hanging off of Sunday's arm. "I suppose you are here with... intent, yes?"
"Correct," Sunday says. He glances down at the silk, reaching up to pinch a part of it between his fingers.
He meets your eyes again, his face imperceptible. It's more terrifying than his openly longing and lingering gaze.
"I wish to dance the Entwine with you," he says, voice diplomatic and devoid of emotion. "If you are willing."
You clench your hands behind your back. "Will you be dancing gentleman or lady?"
"Gentleman." He pauses, voice lowering a bit. "I wish to try and catch you."
You smother a scowl before it can crawl its way onto your face. Of course he would want to dance as gentleman. How typical.
But there's something to his demeanor that tells you there's more to it than he's letting on. It's sitting on the tip of his tongue: his real intent behind asking you to dance with him.
"For what reason do you wish to dance with me?" In a quieter, harsher tone, you add, "Be honest with me, or I will refuse outright."
His fingers run over the fabric, smoothing out any wrinkles that snag them. He tilts his head to the side, and the desire that swims in his eyes leaves you shaking.
"If I catch you," he says slowly, "you will give me your hand in marriage."
Bile burns at the back of your throat, your anxiety clawing its way up and trying to escape. It's a bold declaration, especially when directed at someone who has never been caught before. Your faith in your skill is resolute, but the sheer desperation on his face is enough to make you hesitate.
Your voice trembles slightly when you speak. "And if you fail?"
He hums, flicking his gaze off to the side. "If I fail, I will never ask for it again."
You latch onto the statement like a moth to a flame. All you have to do is avoid capture— something you've done time and again— to get him to leave you alone. You've never seen him dance the Entwine, or show any interest in it; undoubtedly, your skill will lead you to successful evasion.
This is your chance to get him off your back, for good.
Before you can respond, a firm hand comes down on your shoulder, pulling you backward.
"Your Highness," Veritas whispers into your ear, barely contained urgency lacing his words. "Please consider this carefully. Is this a risk you are willing to take?"
You look up at him, eyebrows raised. "I have never been caught," you mutter back.
His brows pinch together. "There is a first time for everything, and you cannot afford to let this one be that time."
You clench your jaw and cast Sunday a sidelong glance. He stares back at you, his posture perfect and features serene despite the way his eyes drink you in, ravenous. There is, as always, truth to what Veritas is saying; you've never seen Sunday dance the Entwine, but that doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't know how, or that he isn't good at it. There's still a high chance you'll be able to evade him given your record, but the chance of him being able to successfully pull off the Catch, though small, is still a potential outcome that shouldn’t be overlooked.
After all, he wouldn't be asking you if the possibility was as slim as you believe it to be.
You bite your lip, hesitating. You look to Welt, pleading for direction. He locks eyes with you briefly, looking just as concerned as Veritas, before he steps forward and partially shields you from Sunday's view.
"Perhaps another time," he says, a polite grin finding its way onto his face. "We are just coming out of mourning, and though it is nice to be part of festivities again, perhaps dancing is still a bit too much for Our Highness right now— the late queen was very fond of the Entwine. Please understand."
Sunday's mask wavers, irritation seeping through the cracks at Welt's excuse. His sharp gaze cuts back to you, but you let your eyes drift back to the dance floor, refusing to meet it.
The tension is broken by the sound of clapping. You turn your head, frowning at the sight of a member of the advisory court approaching.
"Oh, how lovely!" She swoons, pressing a hand to her chest. Her face is flushed from the wine and she speaks loudly, drawing the ballroom's attention to the cluster of people around you. "Our Highness is going to dance the Entwine with Prince Oak!"
All eyes are on you. Your guests whisper to each other, their excitement tangible and filling the air with charged energy. A long time coming, they think to themselves, oblivious to the unfortunate predicament you've found yourself in. Sunday's affinity for you isn't a secret, especially not to the royal families who watched you two grow up at each other's side. To them, this dance is simply an age-old rumor finally coming into fruition, the first step toward solidifying your relationship with Sunday. And to the advisors scattered around the ballroom, watching you like hawks, it is their efforts finally paying off— the final nail in your coffin that will secure the future they envision for your kingdom.
Refusing him now, under countless pairs of hopeful eyes, would undoubtedly leave an ugly smear on your reputation and the integrity of your kingdom.
Your tongue sits dry and heavy in your mouth. You almost choke on it when Sunday's hand finds the small of your back, gently guiding you toward the dance floor. He practically preens under the attention and pressure. It makes you sick.
Another hand catches your elbow in a bruising grip, and you jolt back, only barely catching yourself to make it seem as though you tripped. You angle your body in a way that prevents the crowd from seeing Veritas's vice grip on your arm.
"My Highness has not agreed to anything yet," he bites out in a low whisper, venom dripping off his tongue.
Sunday's eyes snap to him. His scathing glare does nothing to deter your advisor, who glares back at him in response.
When he looks back to you, the deceptively serene look has returned. With the arm not holding the sash, he extends a hand out to you, tilting his head to the side in question. The guests closest to you all coo fondly.
There's a hint of a smirk on his face. "May I have this dance?"
You place a hand over Veritas's, gently prying his fingers from your arm. You can't bear to look at him right now. "It will be fine," you murmur. "I promise."
You run your hands along your sleeves, wiping off as much of the sweat as you can. You inhale shakily, trying to keep the ballroom tile beneath your feet from swimming.
You look up, a practiced, graceful smile tilting your lips upward. You delicately place your hand in his, suppressing a shudder when he brings it to his lips and presses it to them. The steadiness and strength in your voice surprises you when you say, "Of course, Prince Oak."
The ballroom erupts into a mixture of chatter and cheers. Court advisors pester the crowd surrounding the dance floor, ushering them back and trying to clear a pathway for the two of you. You swallow thickly as Sunday closes his hand around your trembling one.
You turn to Welt and gesture at his pocket with your free hand. "If you would be so kind, Advisor Welt."
He nods stiffly, reaching into his coat and producing a golden pocket watch. "Of course, Your Highness."
Your heart hammers against your ribcage as Sunday guides you to the dance floor. A numbness settles over you, and you robotically nod and smile at the guests that you pass. Their eyes shine with an adoration that you could never possess for this supposed relationship— for him.
Sunday releases your hand when you two reach the center of the dance floor. His eyes are dark as he holds one end of the sash out to you. You take it into your hands and back away from him, toward the other end of the floor. Sunday does the same, and you both stop when the sash is pulled so taught that it tugs you a few steps forward.
The familiar fabric and set-up do little to comfort you.
The crowd shifts again, and Welt emerges from it, standing front and center before the dance floor. He holds the pocket watch up to his face, and your breath hitches with anticipation.
"Your three minutes begins..." His voice reverberates off the ballroom walls, resounding clearly over the jubilant tune the orchestra plays.
"Now."
Adrenaline shoots through you like lightning, and you fly into motion. Your vision sharpens, focused in on every movement Sunday makes as you analyze the arc of his arms and the force behind his tugs on the sash. With each under-arm swoop, you dip beneath his arms and twirl away from him with ease, the steps of the dance coming to you the way breathing does.
He's an adept dancer, you'll give him that. Perhaps if his partner was anyone else, he would have already caught them already, within the first minute of the dance. But you are untouchable on an average night, and on this one in particular, you push yourself past your limits, propelled forward by a fervor and desperation to evade his every attempt of entangling you in his arms.
Twist. Needle's Eye.
"Two minutes," Welt calls out.
Approaching another under-arm swoop, you glance at Sunday's face just in time to see displeasure flicker across it at Welt's announcement. As you glide away from him once more, unfurling the sash between you two, he gives it a sharp tug, causing you to stumble a bit and lose your footing. Your heart skips a beat, but you quickly recover, forcing your limbs to move faster and smoother and match the rapid tempo he has now set for the dance.
Sweat beads along your upper lip as you duck under Sunday's arms repeatedly. You're managing just fine, but you've never had to push yourself this hard before; keeping a close eye on his movements while making sure the sash doesn't get tangled around your wrists is a delicate balancing act, and you can feel yourself teetering back and forth, dangerously close to falling off.
He's a far more formidable partner than you could have ever imagined.
Dip and Turn. Lady's Feint.
"One minute."
Sunday furiously yanks on the sash mid-twirl, and you stagger forward. The sash wraps around your wrists once, twice— three times before you regain your footing and lean back, narrowly avoiding Sunday's sweeping arm that almost hooks around your own.
A chorus of gasps ripples through the crowd at your near capture. It worsens your fraying nerves.
You exhale with exertion, trembling on unsteady legs as Sunday raises the stakes yet again. The tempo he sets is merciless, and your body is jostled between the last of your will and the harsh tugs from the other end of the sash. You grit your teeth. The silk digs tighter into your flesh and sends pinpricks of pain up your arms with each snap of his wrists.
Bridge Arc. Under-Arm Swoop.
"Thirty seconds."
The speed at which you weave in and out of spins leaves you dizzy, nauseous. The ballroom melts into incomprehensible shapes and colors around you. You bite down on your lip hard enough to draw blood, a pitiful attempt to ground yourself so you won't trip up. 
You do anyway; Sunday's movements are too fluid and swift to keep up with.
The sash binds around your wrists five more times, bringing you even closer to him— too close. You're not sure if it's skill, luck, or sheer force of will that allows you to continue to dodge his attempts at ensnaring you, but you know that you shouldn't be able to do it at this distance.
Frustration peeks through his graceful disposition. His golden eyes trail you, chasing after you as you elude his grasp once more.
Thread. Beading the Sash.
"Fifteen seconds."
You throw yourself into another dip, eyes locked onto the floor just beyond the arm obscuring your line of vision.
If you dodge this one, you'll be free.
Sunday lifts his arms suddenly and pulls, bringing the sash as far back as he can without letting go. Your arms twist in the air behind your back. A strangled gasp leaves you as you lose your footing. In a whirl of fabric, you stagger backward, away from the other side of his outstretched arm.
The Catch.
Your back slams into something solid, and before you can process what has happened, a firm arm snakes itself around your waist, pulling you flush against the body behind you. Your hands, still bound together, dig into your collarbone, suspended at an awkward angle from the sash held above you.
The crowd erupts into noise.
In front of you, a little girl pulls on her mother's sleeve and points in your direction. "Mommy, he caught Our Highness!"
Behind them, Veritas stares at you, petrified and speechless.
Snapping out of your stunned stupor feels like coming up for air after almost drowning. You suck in a shuddering breath and writhe, yanking your arms against the sash and leaning forward, futilely trying to escape. Sunday gathers the last of the fabric in his hands and gives it another sharp tug, keeping you in place against him.
He lowers his head, and his lips brush over your ear as he speaks. "Magnificent," he whispers. His voice rumbles with pleasure, almost to the point of purring. "You are truly a talented dancer."
"Let me go," you rasp out. You're physically exhausted, and your racing, panicked heart prevents you from catching your breath.
Sunday hums again, bringing the hand holding the sash to brush your cheek gently. "Why would I do that?" He chuckles softly, and it's so genuine— not the slightest bit mocking— that it leaves you all the more unsettled. "I caught you."
He brings his arm down, settling it around your waist. His fingers brush over your bound hands, and he presses a tender kiss to your cheek.
"You're finally mine."
870 notes · View notes
yovrnewromantic · 7 months
Text
THE LINE—
Tumblr media
pairings: steve harrington x henderson!reader
1 — part 2 coming soon…
words: 3.6k
Summary: You realize the line between love and hate is very thin as you babysit and monster hunt alongside Steve Harrington.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Leaning pathetically against your locker, you banged your head against the metal, tugging on the end of your cheerleading skirt that got caught in the door when you slammed it shut. It’s your fault really, you were so happy to get it open for once. Of course, it had to be too good to be true.
“Need some help with that?”
Your lips swerved into a smile at the familiar voice, leaning away from your locker to look at one of your favorite girls.
“Yes, Nancy. Please!” you pleaded, laughing as the girl stepped forward, easily opening your locker door, not even needing to ask the combination from the amount of times she’s had to open it.
Nancy Wheeler smiled smugly when your locker opened, releasing you and your skirt.
Nancy had been one of your best friends since you moved to Hawkins along with Chrissy Cunningham and Heather Holloway. At twelve years old, you were anxious, but to your surprise, extremely charismatic. You found friends like wildflowers, something you loved, but Nancy was one of the best. She was like a rose, beautiful and smart, something that drew you to her in the first place.
“My savior! How could I ever repay you?” you joked, mocking a princess before laughing at your own joke, tugging your books tighter to your hip.
Nancy grimaced. “Well,” she started, and your brows furrowed, making you feel uneasy, “Firstly, by not being too mad…”
Nancy shoved a note in your face. You squinted reading the words that alert you that King fucking Steve was waiting for your best friend in the bathroom, wanting to make out. Gross.
“Ew,” you stated, playful smile turning into a pout. Your shoulders slumped, concern kicking in rather than disgust. “Harrington? Really, Nance? You could do so, so much better.”
To you, Steve Harrington was the worst person at Hawkins high. A real player who had absolutely no consideration for anyone’s feeling but his own and his stupid little posse. Generally a piece of shit.
“You owe me,” she mutters, shrugging her shoulder to try to rid her mind of what you were implying, what she had already been anxious about.
“I just think it’s a bad idea,” you say softly, trying not to hurt the poor girls feelings, but really you were just trying to help.
“And why’s that?” she asks, on the defensive.
You shake your head, holding yourself back from rolling your eyes. “He’s a bad idea,” you state simply. “He treats girls like shit and you know better to accept that.”
“You don’t know him.”
“I know that he dumped Charlotte after he had sex with her,” you offered, looking at her with a raised brow. Nancy rolls her eyes.
“Well, that’s Charlotte. And I’m going to see him,” she announces, a little like she’s singing.
Sighing disappointedly, the bell rings in your ears. Great, you’re late.
You give Nancy a look already walking backwards towards your first period. “Make good decisions. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”
“You wouldn’t go out with him the first place!” she calls back, looking at you with a playful expression.
“Exactly.” You smile, finally turning around and heading to your class. When you fully turn, your smile disappears.
Something about Steve makes you anxious, fills your body with unease whenever you two make eye contact when your both at your lockers. You hate the way he smiles smugly at you. And you hate that he’s going after another one of your friends, the fear of her getting hurt makes your stomach ache.
This time, if he hurts her, you hurt him.
And that’s exactly what happened.
You were on your evening walk, frowning at the missing poster you see of Will Byers, your little brother’s best friend and Johnathan Byers, one of your best friends, brother. It’s a saddening sight, especially since the young boy’s funeral. Absolutely heartbreaking.
Frustration is throbbing through your body. You feel helpless, unable to find the boy despite having helped put up posters and searched through the woods countlessly.
You were also angry with yourself for allowing your brother out of the house when you heard the news, letting him and his friends set out in search for him themselves because your heart ached looking into your brother’s teary eyes as he begged you not to tell mom that you caught him sneaking out.
It was stupid, that you told him to keep his walking on him, stay with his friends, and to stay safe or you’d fucking kill him. You’re a shitty sister.
You were an idiot. An idiot people pleaser who never knew when to say no to her friends and family. It was stupid that when your empathetic heart feels their pain you resort to the worse stress reliever, and contradictory to your guilty conscience, violence.
“Harrington, you better get your ass down from that ladder right now!”
You saw him from a mile away, the words spray painted on the movie theatre that you would always take your brother and his friends. The only thing you could make out of it was that Steve fucking Harrington was caught defaminating one of your best friend’s names while vandalizing the cinema.
Steve’s eyes went wide at the sight of you, the beautiful girl who ignored and criticized his every move. His ex-girlfriends best friend. His heart raced at your angry expression. His cheeks probably got a little red too.
“Henderson, what the hell are you doing here?” he asked, sponge pausing its movement to look down at you. Steve had completely forgotten what it looked like had happened, oblivious to everything else around him, his entire focus on you. His fake innocence only made you angrier.
Ignoring his question, you fumed, “Get your ass down or I’m pushing you off this damn ladder!”
Steve’s eyes widened as he muttered curses under his breath, quickly climbing down from the ladder. You pretended that seeing his face bloody and bruised didn’t make your stomach ache.
“Jesus, what your pro—,” You shoved him, and he stumbled back, arms stretched out as his back hits the ladder, “blem!”
“You wrote this? You called Nancy a slut?!”
You pushed him again, and he stumbled again, still looking at you like you’re crazy. He caught your wrists when you went to push him again.
Your hands were held at his chest, pulling you into his chest despite how you try to plant your feet, to stay away from him. Steve still has an bizzare look on his face as he looks down at you, cheeks pink and he’s slightly out of breathe from how he scrambled to grab your wrists.  Steve rapidly shakes his head, blurting, “What? No! No, I didn’t!”
You let out a scoff, nodding sarcastically as if you believed him. “So… you just cleaning it up? Bullshit,” you spit, and Steve looks almost hurt by your insinuation.
“Yes! “ He announced, running a hand through his hair when you tugged your wrists free. “I didn’t write this!”
Crossing your arms over your chest, you looked at him accusingly, like he was stupid. “Then who did, Harrington?”
“Tommy.”
“Oh, you’re best friend!” you exclaimed, “That totally makes so much of a difference.”
“No, Henderson, — I.” He groaned. He glanced around, breathing out of his mouth before he pinched his nose. “I should’ve stopped him, I know, but I’m cleaning this up now. I’m trying to fix it.”
“Because you got caught?”
“No! I just—,” he shook his head. “I’m not… friends with those assholes anymore. I just wanna help.”
Really? you thought to yourself. Your nose scrunched as you scanned him up and down for a second with repulsion. He’s not friends with Tommy and Carol anymore? That’s hard to believe.
Your interrogation seemed never ended, and you still had the urge to punch him in the face despite the cuts and bruises that stand prominent on his handsome face. You wet your lips, ignoring your natural concern and continuing. “Help? Help what?”
“I wanna apologize,” he said. “To Nance.”
“Really?” you deadpanned.  Steve arms waved wildly before he poked to fingers into his forehead, closing his eyes.
“Yes, I’m sorry. Is it that hard to believe?”
“Yeah, it is, King Steve,” you scoffed, before you let your thoughts slip into your words. You switch your footing, voice quieting ever so slightly when you ask, “What happened to your face?”
He paused.
“Byers,” Steve replied embarrassed, not even looking at you as your eyes widen.
“Really?” You sound surprised, and you are. The boy who’s been the nicest to you, one of your best friends ever since you’d gotten to town. Your babysitting buddy. The boy who’s brother was missing.
“Johnathan did that?” You ask. When he nods, you hum. “You deserved it.”
“I know.”
Humming, you look at Steve for a second, checking out his bloodied face and red knuckles. Next to his foot is the sponge he was using, it’s turning red and it looks like it’s decomposing from overuse. It makes you clear your throat when you catch his eyes again.
Quietly, almost whispering, you ask, “Do you love her?” You gulp, specifying, “Nancy?”
He sighed, and he looked at you for a good minute, clearly contemplating. Truth be told, he didn’t know. She was… different from his other girlfriend.
Steve would be lying to himself if he said that he didn’t like you. He knew he did, since last year and you walked in wearing a pretty little sundress and gave him attitude when he offered to be your prince charming and open your locker. Maybe he liked Nancy a lot, but he didn’t know if you could love someone and stare at their best friend when their back was turned.
He swallowed, shrugging. “I don’t know.”
You don’t like him. You don’t like him. You don’t like him.
Steve’s word make you nod to yourself, ignoring the relief you feel that he’s not in love with her for Nancy’s sake. Clearly, Steve was a shitty teenage boy, and even worse boyfriend, but you believed in change.
“You really want to make things right?” you question, still trying to keep your guard up despite how you feel them crashing down around you. Goddammit, you hate Steve Harrington.
“Yes,” he groaned, meaningfully.
In your head, you were screaming. Blood curdling, a homicide victim type of screaming, and it’s so loud, so so freaking loud that you couldn’t hear your own thoughts. Maybe, that’s why you make a dumb decision.
You shrug, already turning around to start walking. “Okay, then. Let’s go.”
“Wait, what? Where?”
“To go see Nancy,” you scoffed, as if it was common knowledge. Impatiently, you said, “Come on, I don’t want to be seen with you.”
You trudged forward, once white sneakers thumping against the sidewalk. Behind you, you can hear Steve jog forward, eager to catch up with you.
It doesn’t take long, but the moment he’s beside you, words spill from his lips, quickly. “I— I have my car.”
Pausing in your step, you begrudgingly looked at Steve, quite relieved that you don’t have to walk all the way to Jonathan’s house. “Okay. Where?”
“Over here,” Steve says, almost out of breath as he points to his car. You head towards it without a second thought, harshly pulling on his passenger car door and glaring at him when it doesn’t open.
Steve looks at you strangely, kinda of afraid of you, and he puts his key in before opening the door for you. You don’t look at him, not even when he gets inside the driver seat and starts the car, too busy staring out the window.
“Do you, um, want any music?” Steve stutters, looking at you hesitantly. You roll your eyes.
“You not talking is enough for me,” you smile, sarcastically.
“Oh,” Steve deadpans, biting his lips at he turns away from you, ready to drive.
Great, now you feel bad. You offer, “What do you have?”
“Yeah— yeah, I have Beat It, some AC/DC, Uptown Girl—
“Uptown Girl, please,” you cut him off.  Your casual manners make Steve blush. You don’t even notice that you said it, and it reminds Steve how good you are. You were solid good.
A good girl.
A nice girl.
And one who wants nothing to do with him.
Go figure.
Steve realizes how fucked up his mind is as his knuckles turn white on the stirring wheel. He starts to drive, listening to you hum while starring out the window, sometimes cutting yourself off to tell him directions to Jonathan’s house.
When he asked why there, you said that he had to apologize to Jonathan first. He listens to you for reasons he could not comprehend, because he found himself trusting you despite how much you must hate because he knows you.
In the hallways, he’d watched you tell freshmen directions, laugh on your way to class, help kids who would drop things. You’d barely notice the boys that trailed after you that you thought were only friends, and he’d watch you scold them whenever they were mean to some freak, or nerd, or geek, in the halls.
You were nice. The nicest girl at that damn school, and unbeknownst to you, The Queen Of Hawkins High.
He can’t keep his eyes off you, and he’s never felt guiltier. He let his friend call his girlfriend a slut while he was yearning to kiss her best friend on the way to apologize to her. There was something wrong with him. Steve shook his head, letting his eyes part from you and focus on the road.
The drive was slow, but the moment the car parked in the Byers’ driveway, you were quick to usher Steve out.
“Go,” you wave.
“What?” Steve’s heart races. “Right— right now?”
“When else?” you blink.
“Shouldn’t we rehearse something?”
You sigh, holding back a much needed eye roll. A fake smile props on your lips. “‘Jonathan, I’m sorry for fighting you in the middle of the street. That one’s on me,’” you say. “‘Oh, and I feel bad for smashing your camera to little bits. How about I buy you a new one with my daddy’s money?’” You drop your smile. “That good?”
“The camera wasn’t my fault,” he justified.
 “I know, I was there. Still, that doesn’t make what you did right, so get out of the car and apologize,” you punctuated.
Steve mouth gaped. Then, he begrudgingly unbuckles his seat belt and grumbles under his breath, stepping out the vehicle. He slams the car door shut.
You snorted a laugh, sinking into Steve’s comfy car seats.
From where your sat, you have a clear viewing of the show. You’re not sure whether or not Jonathan will forgive him. Apart of you hopes he doesn’t. You wouldn’t be surprised if he did.
What did surprise you was watching Steve, under the warm yellow glow from the Byers house lights, pound on the door and then eventually force his way in.
Hastily, you trailed after him, leaves crunching under your quick feet.
“Steve!” you called once in the door way. “This wasn’t what we talked about…”
The words died in your throat as your eyes scattered across the room, the sight of Jonathan, a shit ton of weapons his living room table and Nancy with a gun pointed at Steve’s face had you had you bewildered.
“You two need to leave now!” Jonathan said, but you were more focused on Nancy’s count down, gun still pointed at Steve.
Before you could think, you were shoving yourself in between Steve, Jonathan, and the gun, hand raised in defense. The mass of Christmas lights around you flickered briskly with your final shout, “What is going on?”
Few words between Nancy and Jonathan end with Steve Harrington, grabbing your wrist and dragging you down the hall into a bedroom as a venus-flytrap looking bear rips apart the ceiling.
“What the hell was that,” Steve yelled along with a variety of curses.
“Shut up!” Nancy and Jonathan shouted, synchronized.
You and Steve shared a feared look.
Pounds and gurgles erupt from the other side of the door until they suddenly stopped. In the silence, Nancy and Jonathan exit the room, Steve and you right behind them.
“Are you going to tell us what that was?” you rasped desperately.
Nancy’s reply was short. “A demogorgon.”
You recognized that name. “Like—,” you brows pinched together. “From DnD?”
“That’s what the boys said.”
“The boys,” you repeated. “Like Dustin, Lucas, and Mike? They know about this?”
“Look, Y/N, I’m sorry but we don’t have time for the questions. It’s going to come back, and you two,” she gestures to you and Steve, “need to leave. Right now.”
Breathing heavy, and with the shake of your head, you said, “No.”
“Yes, go,” Nancy said, stepping closer. You were the same height, she couldn’t intimidate you, not even with a gun in her hand. You weren’t going to leave, especially because of the newfound fear of that thing going after your brother.
“Y/N,” Steve tried, eager for the door.
“No, you go,” you said to Steve then turned to Nancy, “I’m staying so either let me help kill it or I’ll stand here and be bait.”
“Fine,” Nancy said.
Jonathan threw you a lighter. “Throw this into the carpet when it’s here.”
Steve felt pathetic watching the three of you. He didn’t want to leave and be a coward, but he didn’t want to die either. One thought over powered the other and he sprinted to his car, but seeing rapid flickering lights, he forced himself back inside.
After swinging a crowbar at the demogorgon and watching it swallow it whole, you were sure you were going to die. You fell back, squeaking in despair as you did so. The demogorgon’s mouth widen, and you may have gotten a little teary eyed at the sight of Jonathan and Nancy on the floor, looking helpless as well.
But to your shock, Steve Harrington jumped in front of you, swinging a bat like he hadn’t quit baseball in seventh grade.
What happened next was blur, but you remember Steve Harrington forcing you to your feet and the sight of a demogorgon enveloped in flames.
With shallow breaths, you sat on the wooden porch in front of the Byers’ house, illuminated by a singular warm lantern, recollecting the previous events. Mind racing, you hardly notice the body next to yours.
Well, until, and hand landed on your shoulder. It’s large, much bigger than your own. Your eyes traced the arm up to its owner, seeing a bloody, concerned face staring back at you.
“You okay?” Steve asked, and your heart swelled the slightest bit at his worry. He had just almost killed himself and he was worried about you.
Your eyebrows twitched, the undying desire to hate him still present. “Yeah,” you choked, “I’m fine.”
Steve nodded. He retracted the hand off your shoulder slowly, which you were grateful for. Nancy and Johnathan’s dull chatter filled the void, the four of you too nerved to fully close the front door.
Clearing your throat, you said, not looking at him. “Thank you for — um — saving my life.”
When Steve spoke, you turned to him. “Anybody would’ve done the same.”
“No they wouldn’t have,” you said, entire body angling towards him. You kept your hands in your lap, tediously explaining, “They would’ve ran for the hills, like you should’ve, but you didn’t. So thanks. I owe you one.”
“Don’t mention it,” he griped, but you shook your head with a scoff, readjusting yourself to look straight forward. You went silent again. Not far from you, you can hear the engine of a car, smell the toxic carbon monoxide polluting the air.
Steve Harrington saved your life. King Steve Harrington saved your life.
Laughing to yourself, you eyed Steve carefully. “I never would’ve taken you for a hero, Harrington.”
“Guess you were wrong,” Steve chuckled. His eyes shone particularly bright in the moonlight.
“Mhm,” you hummed, looking to your lap, “maybe about a lot of things too.”
You hadn’t known why you said that. Steve’s lips parted at your words, a dumbfounded look forming on his face.
“Y/N!”
Immediately, your head whipped to the noise. Your eyes widened with recognition to the voice. “Dustin!” you shouted, voice echoing off the trees in question.
A car pulled up, and in the back windows you could see three smiling faces in the window.
Smiling. They’re okay, you told yourself. And free to yell.
“You boys are so lucky.” The words came out forced, a quiver in your voice at the pure relief you feel, rushing to the boys off the porch and watching the three of them exit the car safely. “You could’ve gotten yourselves killed,” you snapped. “Why didn’t you told me?”
Only after you spoke did you notice their red rimmed eyes.
Your lips twitched into a frown. Swallowing back your own tears, you pulled Dustin, Lucas, and Mike into a hug. “I’m so glad you all are okay.”
Vaguely, blue and red flashing lights pull up onto the driveway of the Byers’ house. Police step out their car with questioning looks. It’s not long before one offers to take you and your brother home.
Glancing behind you, Steve Harrington’s eyes found yours swiftly, as if they had been trained to you this entire time. Hesitantly, you raised your hand, not very high, but just visibly for him to see. You gave Steve a small wave.
He smiled at you, and you were sure that it hurt.
Tumblr media
been meaning to write a steve fic for a while. he’s so boyfriend and i’m a huge hopelessly pining/enemies to lovers girly
not my best, probably will rewrite in the future
755 notes · View notes
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
there’s been lots of requests and comments so here it is PART 3!!! (SHE’S HERE first anon, hope you survived this long second anon and it was not a dream third anon, I’m posting/making it now fourth and fifth anon)
some of you were going feral for part 2 so I hope this lives up the expectation 😭😭 if not I’m severely sorry
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
title: the dancer and the angel part 3
pairing: grayson hawthorne x reader
synopsis: grayson has just admitted to kissing lyra kane, the girl you’d been worried about, the girl that was stunning, the girl he said didn’t matter… he chose her over you so now what??
parts: part 1 part 2
warnings: swearing, SPOILERS FOR TGG
a/n: okay so I hate switching POVs but I felt it was necessary here and I know the start is the same as the part 2 but in Gray’s POV but trust me there is lot more
tag list: @tornqdowarnings @whatsamongus @wish-i-were-heather @inmyheaddd @never-enough-novels @sweetlikeanangel @midiosaamor @sweetreveriee @emelia07 @f4iry-bell @zaraaaabear @thoughtdaughter3 @benny1989fredd @elysianwayy77 @maybxlle @sheisntyou @anintellectualintellectual @aleatorio1234 @adalia-jaycee @off-to-the-r4ces @lyra-kane @reminiscentreader @lyrakanefanatic @imaseabear @elizaa31
GRAYSON’S POV
Guilt has chewed me up and spat me out the whole walk back to our shared room. There’s a pulsating lump in my throat that aches relentlessly, reminding me of what I’ve done. I am a terrible person. I never deserved her and now I’ve done the worst thing I could’ve possibly done, that anyone on this whole planet could’ve ever done. And she will never forgive me for it. I wish there was a way to turn back time and alter certain events. As soon as the time machine is invented, no doubt by my very own brother Xander, I’m coming back to moments before now to stop my idiot brain from-
I can’t even think it. Maybe it’s because it makes it more real. It’s like the last few moments of my life have been erased from my brain, it’s a blank canvas and I have no paints. I know what I did but I can’t remember exact details. Still, I can taste her on my lips, an over sweet taste that was almost too sickly has now morphed into something bitter. Her perfume lingers on my clothes and adds to my ever growing headache. I don’t want to smell her, I don’t want the reminder of the awful human I have become. The monster that now inhabits my body, lives in my skin, breathes my air and poisons the people I love. The ones I truly love.
Y/n. At one point she was the only reason I was still existing, still carrying on. She somehow managed to give me the fight to keep carrying on. I got up most days because I knew I would get to see her face. And now I’m going to throw everything away, our whole relationship. Everything we’ve been through or planned to go through together. It will reduced to nothing in a few minutes.
I’m outside the door, my feet have carried me here through muscle memory. I must go in, I must face her I’m aware but I’m afraid. I’ve never felt so pathetic. I wonder if she is still asleep. Though, I can’t work out whether I’d rather she be awake or asleep. I don’t think I could bear to look at her angelic feature either way. Those wide eyes, round lips, heavenly- I can’t bear it, I’m going to lose her, all of her.
I fiddle around with the key, hoping the door will just never unlock so I don’t have to face this. The mechanism clicks, mocking me. I step in silently and face the door to lock back up again. I don’t understand why, I know I’ll be kicked out in a matter of seconds, what good will a locked door be? And yet I’m still facing the door, fumbling with the key, my back towards her. Though I can hear her getting out of bed. She’s awake. My body’s immediate response is to go into a state of paralysis. I can’t move as the guilt ridden cement hardens over my body, creating an outer shell of the cruel creature I’ve become. Her body is behind mine. I can feel her bright presence radiating her usual tentative nature.
“Are you okay?” I hear her whisper as she touches my arm so gently it stings.
It stings so sharply because I know what I’ve done. The shameful crime I’ve committed. I jerk away suddenly.
“Are you hurt?” she asks, deep concern in her tone.
It kills me. It’s a poisoned dagger wedged deep within my heart, hitting every vital artery. Her voice is so soft, so melodic. She cares so much, too much and I’m about to destroy it all. And as much as I could not say a word I couldn’t live a lie, the guilt would eat me alive. How could I look her in the eye and tell her she’d always been the only one when I know she hadn’t? She’d already noticed earlier today my distant mood. She had always been observant, vigilant about those things concerning me and I’d always been grateful. I wouldn’t have that anymore. Lyra had been on my mind earlier and I couldn’t tell her. Now she would realise.
“No,” I reply.
My voice is unfamiliar to myself, it’s sharp and blunt. It sounds horribly harsh. I could feel it hurt her, the air ripples with a touch of dimness when I hurt her. Even with my back to her it’s obvious to me. I know her so well, too well and from this day on we might drift to perfect strangers. That thought hurts me more than anything.
“Where have you been?” she says. Her voice so sweet, so innocent, cruelly naïve.
I don’t want to break her, I don’t want to do it. It would be like smashing a glass ballerina. Something so beautiful, something so delicate should be preserved not purposely broken. I force my eyes to meet hers. I immediately regret it. The soft mellow colour all melts into one, clawing at my heartstrings and ripping the organ to shreds. She’s so beautiful. How had I ever looked at any other? How had I let myself?
Suddenly I’m drowning in guilt. I don’t know how, it just comes over me suddenly. Like a tidal wave I had my back to. I’ve been swept under by an endless ocean of shame. My lungs swollen full of my own black sin. I don’t know how but I manage to choke out two shaky words.
“I’m sorry.”
My voice cracks. My voice never cracks. She knows that. I’m sturdy, I’m strong, I’m the rock that never breaks and here I am. Here I am crumbling into dust. She’s too smart to miss the signs, she’s too clever not to immediately know something so horribly wrong, her mind is too sharp not to have worked half of it out. She’d already been suspicious of Lyra. She’d already seen what might happen between us even before I did, before it did actually happen.
“Gray?” she asks, my name sounding too sweet on her tongue. The next time she says it will taste bitter, I’m sure of it. She barely whispers the word but I hear her, it rings in my mind. It forever will.
I’m full of pure regret and guilt, it wracks my soul, shaking me relentlessly back and forth until I’m dizzy with it. Remorse’s doors suddenly burst wide open, ready for my grand entrance. My hopes and dreams snicker and smirk smugly as I walk down the runway, my head hanging in embarrassment.
I need to tell her. My heart races in my chest and there’s a lump stuck in my throat, so large it’s started to block my airways. I don’t know how to get the words out, I don’t know how to talk. I feel like I’m suffering some sort of aneurysm. She looks at me, her eyebrows pinched in and eyes narrowed and then I see it. Her eyebrows part and slowly sink. She knows already.
“Tell me,” she murmurs, her voice of an angel shaking.
I close my eyes, trying to suppress the tears. I haven’t cried in years I’ve forgotten this feeling, this heavy weighted agony that ripples through me causing water to infiltrate my eyes. I bite the inside of my cheek and still my shaking hands.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her, an uninvited raw desperation ripping through my voice, “I never wanted to hurt you, I never meant for it to happen, I-“
“Tell me,” she grits through her teeth sharply, her eyes glitter so beautifully fierce and fiery, like she wants to kill.
But I know she’s trying to steady her rising sadness by covering up with her fury. I can see through her, like she can see through me. I freeze and the pause elongates. The aching silence is deadly, it’s fatal. I wish she didn’t have to make me say it.
“I kissed her,” I murmur, the words making me feel sick as I say them.
“Who?” she asks, he tone low and ferocious, “who did you kiss? I want to hear you say it.”
I’m twisting a knife into her heart and I know it. But she wants me to cut deeper. She’s a woman of principle, I’ve already hurt her, I might as well do the job properly in her eyes. And I can’t deny her this. Not I’ve stripped her of her dignity, her trust, her love, her everything.
“I kissed Lyra,” I whisper, suddenly aware of the dampness on my cheeks.
A sour taste fills my mouth. The words send lightning sparks across my jaw, sending ribbons of agony down the sides of my face. The truth hurts. Literally. Tears are rolling the side of my face, but I don’t bring my hand to wipe them and nor do I stop them. I’ve never felt more broken.
But she doesn’t care, there is not pity in her eyes. Good. I don’t want he to pity me. She should hate me. She should want me to miserable and hope for me to have a lifetime of the torture I’ve just forced her to endure.
“Get out,” she murmurs, the anger bringing out her natural stunning features. A flicker of boldness in her eyes, the striking angles of her eyebrows, her strong thick lashes and her full lips.
“I’m sorry.” they’re the only words I remember how to say, through my internal fit of torment.
I expect her to hit me around the face, a good strong punch I know she can make or a sharp smack that’ll leave a red hand mark pressed against my cheek. I imagine she might scream at me and ask me all the questions I wish I had answers to. But she does none of that. She only looks at me darkly and utters two last words.
“Leave Grayson.”
I can hear the tears she’s trying to hold back, through the numb façade. I know her better than she’ll ever realise. But it’s not fair for me to stay, not after this. She’s only asking one thing of me when she should be doing so much more. So I do. I turn my back on her again. And I leave.
***
Tears pummel down my cheeks like never before. I can’t remember the last time I cried. I don’t think I’ve ever cried like this. I’m blinded by them as I stumble sideways. I don’t know where I’m going. I stand on the edge of the cliff and sink to my knees, letting out a loud guttural scream. I’m there until my throat is so raw I can’t feel it. I bite my lip so hard it draws blood. And then I’m up again and running, following a path my footsteps are dragging me towards. I can’t think straight, I’m dizzy with pain. Before I know it I’m outside the safe house on the island. My hands tremor on the handle and I swing open the door, falling to the floor for my sobs to take me over. My chest aches and burns and tightens. That’s when I realise I can’t breathe properly. I fumble around for my phone, a tear splashing into the illuminated screen. With uncontrollably shaking hands, I typed no words. Just three numbers.
911
***
The wait feels like years, maybe even decades. Each second taunts me, with a mocking tick. I’d crumbled into the corner of the room at some point and stayed there, curled up and choking on my own sorry sobs. What had I done? What had I done? What had I done?
The question circles around my head like the nostalgia of a distorted tune of a merry go round. I’ve never made such a big mistake and my life and deep down there’s a sinking sensation that is telling me I’m not going to be able to make this better. I sob, loud harsh sobs that hurt my lungs and knock the air out of my stomach. My whole being shakes with every strangled noise that escapes my lips. Grieving. I’m grieving over something I chose to throw away. It’s cruelly ironic. But I think part of me is also grieving the good man I once thought myself to be, that she made me believe I could be.
I turned my back on the one and only person in this world who just cared about me, took me for who I am and believed I could do anything. She only wanted the best, she only wanted happiness and she deserved so much more and here I am, stabbing her in the back and dancing in her blood like a madman. She was my everything and I managed to mess it up, just like everything else in my life. I can’t have normal relationships, I can’t do something without messing it up. I’m one big screw up the opposite of how the old man raised me to be. He’s looking down on me now and I can feel his disappointment, like an infection coursing through my bloodstream. I failed him, I failed my brothers, I’ve failed her, I’ve failed myself.
She thought I was better, she believed I could be more than his expectation. And I was stupid enough to believe it, encourage it and let her belive the lie too. We’re all idiots.
I can recite her favourite song, her favourite flower, her favourite food and favourite colour. I can tell you all about her favourite novels and how she orders her books on an endless bookshelf. I know that she tells people her favourite film is ‘it’s a wonderful life’ but it’s actually secretly ‘tangled’. I know she prefers to stay inside and cuddle under blankets rather than have a night out. I know she’d rather reason a thousand books than watch a thousand movies. I know she wanted a library in her dream house and two, maybe three children with her husband and I know she’d sometimes debate about getting a cat as well. I know how she loves brownie batter more than the actual brownies and can’t sleep with any lights on. I know she still uses the bunny rhyme to tie her shoelaces and how she fiddles with her collarbone when she’s nervous. I know exactly what diamond she wanted in her engagement ring and her favourite country. I know what people she despises and I know what people she adores. I know every inch of her face, every hair on her head, every sparkle in her eyes and every cell on her skin.
I know her.
I know her, but that can’t help me now. Pain ripples across the left side of my chest and my hand clamps over it as I grit my teeth to try and bear it. I hear the door creek open and can’t tell whether it comforts me or not.
“Grayson pookie!” Xander calls out, “we’re here.”
His cheerful voice doesn’t provide me with the cushion to this pain I thought it might.
“And we have some in incredibly strong whisky,” Jameson adds, I can here the mischievous grin in his voice, it’s been the same all of his life.
“My nose hairs are officially burnt off,” Xander agrees.
I can’t speak. I try to call out for them but the words die in my swollen throat.
“Where are you Gray?” Nash calls out, he sounds a little more worried than the other two but is concealing it well.
“Here,” my voice is hoarse and laboured, even I can’t recognise it.
The mood immediately shifts, you can feel it. The air becomes tainted with concern as their footsteps approach my cowering figure. The case of whiskey is dropped as there is an audible thunk as it hits the floor. I can feel their bodies enveloping around mine creating something of a circle of safety. I look up to worried face and shiny eyes.
“Help me,” I gasp for air, greedily trying to gulp down the oxygen that I feel so deprived of, “please.”
“We’re here to help you Gray,” Nash murmurs softly. His voice had always been something comforting, especially when I was younger. I wonder if he will be so kind when I tell him what I’ve done. He’s going to hate me, there’s nothing he despises more than a man who can’t respect a woman.
I shake my head and choke out another struggling sob, instead of the words I don’t know how to say. Jameson’s eyes flit between mine and Nash’s, the concern rippling across his features. He’s never looked this concerned for me in his life. I think to all the times as children I’d helped him settle after a nightmare and wiped his tears that he hated falling when the old man had humiliated him. Oh how the tables had turned. Now it was my little brother wiping my tears.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, his touch so gentle it shocks me.
“I can’t-“ I barely get out, wrapping my hands around my neck.
“Gray…” he trails off, unmasked emotion hitting his face like a train.
“I can’t breathe,” I wheeze as the invisible blanket that was set out to suffocate me tightens over my nose and mouth.
“Hey, Gray, look at me,” Nash says, his voice smooth and reassuring, “in and out okay, in and out.”
“I can’t,” I pant, my limbs shaking embarrassingly uncontrollably.
Xander takes both of my hands into his and squeezes them until they still, “yes you can, follow Nash’s instructions okay?”
“Slowly, do it with me,” Nash nods, “in through your nose and out through your mouth.”
I do. In and out, a rhythmic pattern. Each time Nash reminds me how to breathe. There’s an aura of calmness about his voice that lulls my panic into a narcoleptic sleep. Once my breathing is halfway regulated I look at him, dead in the eye, with shaking sorrowful lips.
“I fucked up,” I sob, “I fucked up and I don’t know what to do.”
They all share a look, this is the worst state they’ve seen me and we all know it. I begin to pathetically sob uncontrollably once again, the feelings building up in my chest and tearing me apart from the inside out. It’s like a rabid pack of wolves had been set loose to feed on my internal organs. I don’t know how to stop the ocean of tears, I don’t know how to shut my mind off, I don’t know how to help myself. Reel myself in from this abominable mess I’ve become. I’m hyperventilating, my chest throbbing up and down unevenly. Nash nods towards Jameson, a short, soft, sharp nod of approval.
“Hey! Calm down!” Jameson snaps, giving me a hard slap around the face, “snap out of this!”
The shock shuts me up and the sting stops my tears. I’m back to reality instead of a wallowing mess. Nash must’ve been approving the slap I realise in the sudden cleared head I’d obtained
“Sorry,” Jameson mumbles at me, looking a little guilty.
I massage my jaw, “no I think I needed that.”
He grimaces and then softens his tone, “what happened Gray?”
I tense, growing very still, “I can’t say it out loud, I can’t, I’m awful, I’m horrible-“
“What happened?” Nash drawls.
I choke out yet another unnatural sound. Seems the slap didn’t snap me hard enough into reality. I exhale slowly. I have to say it, now or never.
“I kissed Lyra.”
The words hurt even more this time, that they did when I’d admitted it to y/n. Neither one of my brothers can mask their honest reaction.
“Oh fuck,” Jameson blurts out, “you cheated?”
Anger. He’s fuming with me. I can see the rage trailing through his eyes and blossoming into his expression.
“I didn’t mean to,” I reply, feeling like a small child.
Jameson’s eyes widen and fury flashes across his face, “how can you not mean-“
Nash shoots him a look and his mouth glues shut. Then he turns to me and I can’t quite read him yet. I gulp.
“No one does that kind of thing for no reason,” he says sternly, “I never thought you’d be the one of the four of us to ever do that, seems I was mistaken little brother.”
Disappointment. He’s disappointed. A horrible sinking feeling settles in my stomach. Nash is disappointed in me. It’s one of the worst feelings imaginable. There had only been few times in my life when he had been and I remember the feeling all too well. Shame has me in a chokehold an it’s succeeding in strangling me. I can‘t bring myself to meet his eyes, I don’t want to see that look I can feel is on his face, that look of pure disapproval.
“How did she find out?” Xander asks quietly.
Shock. He hadn’t said anything until now, but his lips had been slightly parted and he’d paled a little. He never thought I’d do this to anyone, he’s yet another person I’ve let down.
“I told her,” I murmur, “the guilt was consuming me.”
“As it should,” Jameson snaps, twitching with a fiery ferocity.
“Jamie,” Nash says, trying to keep some kind of diplomacy.
“No,” he growls, “you don’t do that to a girl, your girl, you can’t do that!”
“Don’t take the moral highground now,” I spit.
“When you’ve cheated on your girlfirend? Yeah I think I will,” he replies, the bitterness rolling off of his tongue like a deadly poison. He doesn’t know I’ve already poisoned myself with my own actions, his words can’t hurt me.
“I didn’t mean to,” I falter.
“Bullshit,” he grits through his teeth, in two definitive and threatening symbols.
“Careful Jamie,” Nash warns.
“All this is your fault anyway,” I continue, ignoring the warning.
“So it’s my fault, you kissed another girl, yeah, okay Gray,” he nods his head with a sarcastic smile.
“It is!” I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air, “if you hadn’t locked me in a room with her-“
“So it’s my fault you couldn’t keep up dick under control,” he quips, interrupting me.
“You could’ve locked me with my one of my sisters but of course you just had choose the only girl who isn’t related to me,” I seethe.
“Odette isnt related to you,” Xander pipes up. I’d forgotten he was there, that anyone besides me and Jameson were there.
“Odette is old enough to be my grandmother,” I scowl at him, immediately feeling bad as the words leave my lips, but don’t dwell on it as I turn back to Jameson, “why did you make me a player in your sick excuse of a game?”
“You can’t use the game as an excuse,” he laughs darkly.
“I will,” I reply sharply, “this is your fault and Avery’s fault too.”
“Avery? Don’t make me laugh,” he rolls his eyes.
“The game never should’ve been created by her,” I yell, “that’s why I’m in this mess!”
“No, you’re in this mess because of you,” he shouts back, “but don’t you dare bring Avery in to this it’s not her fault.”
I feel like I’m one of those circus acts, the ones that lay on a spinning board and get knives hurled at them. Only in my case the knives are the truth and they actually hit me.
“Why did you make me a player?” I ask quieter now, my voice hoarse, “why?”
“I didn’t know making you a player would result in this,” he says.
“It was so irreverent,” I snap becoming angrier by the second, a sudden burst of red overriding any rational sense in my head, “I never needed to play.”
“You can’t pin this on me Gray, if it didn’t happen with Lyra, who knows who else it would’ve happened with,” he hisses.
“So you think I’m just like this? You think this is me?” I ask him, prodding the hollow space where my heart used to be.
“I didn’t before….” he trails off, sighing, “but now I don’t know what the fucking think of you.”
“Jamie,” Nash repeats again, in the same warning tone as before. We both ignore him.
“Just because you and Avery are all peaches and roses-“
“Leave Avery out of your anger issues,” he roars defensively.
“No,” I counter, raising an eyebrow, mirroring his usual argument demeanour, “you think you’re so perfect now you’ve got your dream girl and the two of you are so much better off than the rest of us, because your love is undeniable or whatever bullshit people feed you about it-“
Jameson’s features twitch for a split second. He’s hurt, but won’t show it. He’ll refuse but I know that it hit a nerve that won’t heal for a long time. I stop mid-sentence.
“I am far from perfect, I think we both know that,” he says, in a low voice, “look you’re hurting, I get it, but I’m not going to mollycoddle you and tell you it’s okay when it’s not. I’m not going to stand here and lie to your face because as your brother that would be the worst possible thing for me to do to you.”
“My brother would try and understand what it’s like from my side,” I say, desperation clawing at my voice.
“You’re looking for a fight Grayson and it’s not going to end well, not with me,” he warns, shaking his head.
“Maybe I do want a fight, but you know you do too,” I growl rolling up my sleeves, “so fine, I’ll give you a fight Jamie.”
“I don’t want a fight, I want some justice for y/n,” he states simply, “she did nothing to deserve that Gray, she’s been so good to you, the sweetest soul on this earth and she’s helped you through a lot of shit and this is how you’re repaying her?”
“Jameson,” Nash says.
He ignores him for the third time and I can see his calm facade beginning to drop, “you think because you called a 911 and you’re here crying that I should feel sorry for you?”
“I thought you were going to be here for me,” I reply numbly, my tone dead, “clearly I’m mistaken.”
“I can’t be there for someone with no morals,” he replies, “you cheated and you’re the one who’s upset about it, how do you think she feels?”
“You think I don’t know her?” I fire back, my throat burning, “you think I don’t know exactly what she’s doing right now? I hate myself, I hate myself for doing what I did!”
“Good you should!” he screams back.
Before I know it I feel myself charges towards him, ready to throw a good punch but Nash and Xander launch onto me to quickly and managing to hold me back. Nash’s grip is so tight I don’t dare try and budge.
“Out. Now.” Nash says sharply to Jameson, “go and cool off.”
His tone sends a shiver down my spine that I won’t admit to. Jameson opens his mouth to argue.
“Jameson.”
He skulks away, with a sullen face. We all wait frozen until the door has been slammed shut. Nash lets my arm go, dropping it harshly and Xander follows suit.
“And you’re no better,” he turns to me, placing his cowboy hat on a nearby surface, “I’m only sending him away because you can’t be left alone in this mess and so the two of you don’t rip each other to pieces.”
Silence stills the room. His voice echoes but makes no sound all at the same time.
“Take a second, take a breath and we’re going to talk this through like adults,” he says, “if you want to carry on being a child then leave. Calm down, you’re not a toddler having a tantrum, you’re a grown man, act like it.”
Nash has a way of snapping me back to reality. I nod shakily.
“Talk.”
I begin, “I don’t even know why I kissed her, I didn’t mean to it just-“
“Happened?” he guesses, “no little brother, that doesn’t just happen.”
“The I don’t know Nash,” I say, tipping my head back and resting it on the wall behind me.
I hadn’t meant for it to happen. I didn’t want it to happen. It just did. She was there, just stood there. Her hands looped naturally around the back of my neck, warm and gentle, “someone sent me that ticket Grayson. I thought it was Avery but if it wasn’t…”
She trails off, her voice small and tentative. Her golden eyes filled with the utmost worry. I wanted her to know she’d be okay, that she’d have someone to keep her safe. Her arms get more comfortable around my neck. She’d felt it too, the electrifying spark between us. It was exhilarating but something about it was off, synthetic.
“Then who the hell was it?” I questioned, my hands magnetised to her cheek all of a sudden.
Lyra didn’t pull away and neither did I. I lower my head and she raised onto her toes and titled hers back a little. She was graceful, like a dancer. My lips brushed over hers. They were sweet like honey. For the first few moments it was bliss and the realisation hit, like a stone to my stomach. I jerked backwards suddenly, shaking my head.
“I can’t do this,” I said, my fingers trying to wipe her taste off of my lips, “I don’t- this isn’t-“
I was tongue-tied, not able to explain to her how wrong it was. The words wouldn’t work the way I wanted them to.
“Gray?” Lyra murmurs, a tender voice. Her amber eyes are widened and slightly confused.
“No,” I yell. She flinches and another wave of horribly strong emotion rushes over me, drowning me. “No I’m in love with someone else. I don’t know what that was. I can’t-“
I stumbled backward a few steps and the turned around and ran. Like the coward that I am.
“It did just happen,” I murmur, lifting my head from the wall to look my older brother in eye, “I swear to god, I didn’t intend for it to happen, I didn’t even know I had feelings for her.”
I can see he disagrees still and isn’t convinced. I don’t know how to prove it to him.
“Let’s establish one thing here, who do you like?” Xander asks me.
“I like Lyra,” I say slowly, “but I love y/n.”
Nash shakes his head, “if you loved her you wouldn’t have done that.”
“I made a mistake,” I press on.
“And you will pay for it and regret it for the rest of your life,” he shrugs, “it’s not what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth. Listen, I love Libby and loving someone means so many things. One of those things is that I don’t even look at other women, to me they don’t even really exist. Libby is my world and no one else even comes into the equation, so the fact is someone else came into the equation for you, meaning the love wasn’t there.”
“But it was, I felt it,” I say, my voice breaking as I press my chest.
“What do you feel for Lyra?” he asks plainly.
“I don’t know, she’s intriguing and smart and beautiful,” I murmur, “and I like her, but I don’t know if I have romantic feelings for her.”
“Then why did you kiss her?”
“Comfort? Lust? Greed? Selfishness? I don’t know it just happened,” I repeat for what feels like the hundredth time.
“Stop using that phrase as a get out clause,” Nash shakes his head, “you have to admit to yourself more than anyone that this didn’t just happen.”
“I leaned in and I put my lips of hers, and I didn’t stop it, it didn’t feel wrong straight away,” I admit out loud finally.
“It didn’t?” Xander says, looking wounded.
“No, it didn’t feel wrong until I realised what I’d done,” I say, looking down, suddenly finding my shoelaces to be the most interesting thing in the world.
No one replies for a long while. That’s when I realise how exhausted I truly am and how much I crave sleep.
“I vouched for you,” Xander says quietly, “I told her that you’d never do that, that you weren’t that guy.”
“I’m not,” I say, in denial at first. I take a moment to analyse his sentence and then come to a sickening realisation, “oh my god I am…”
“She was already anxious about where your loyalties were Gray,” he winces.
“I proved her right, I proved every worry she had right, I just proved to her that she shouldn’t have trusted me,” I spiral, hating that I hadn’t seen it sooner.
Xander looks to Nash for support for a reply.
“Yeah,” Nash sighs, “you did.”
“I need to fix this, there has to be a way-“
“Grayson,” the acuteness of his voice cuts through my sentence like a machete.
I freeze and clamp my mouth firmly shut.
“This isn’t a broken vase, you can’t glue it back together or buy a new one,” he tells me softly.
He was referring to a time where Jameson and I had been seven and eights years old. We’d been brawling of course, Hawthorne style and accidentally smashed a vase. Usually it wouldn’t matter, there were vases all over Hawthorne House and they were smashed frequently. But this wasn’t just any vase. It was nan’s priceless vase that had belonged to her daughter, our grandmother, Alice. We were never allowed within a five mile radius of it, but like the rebellious children we were, we didn’t listen. Through our fight we’d smashed the whole thing, it was truly destroyed. The two of us stayed up for nights on need gluing together the pieces only to realise it was never going to look like the original again. So we’d hunted to buy another, problem was, this vase was one of a kind. It turned out after four weeks or trying to ship a similar one in that nan had known the whole time. She didn’t speak to either of us for a good few months.
“This is real life, she is a real person and you hurt her,” he explains, “fixing this isn’t an option. There isn’t a way to fix it, there are no pieces to our back together, okay?”
I’m silent but it’s the loudest voice in the room. My face pinches together in agony. For the first time, a little of the disappointment fades and my brother’s face softens. He wraps a strong arm around me and I flop into him like a lifeless bag of nothingness. I bury my head into his shoulder and try to cry but there seems to be no tears left. He understands and holds me for a moment. Suddenly I’m six years old again and crying in Nash’s in my arms over Jameson hiding my favourite teddy bear at the time, then I’m eleven in his arms with pneumonia after being stupid enough to get caught in the rapids un the dead of winter wanting a good photograph of a rare fish, then I’m seventeen, crying over a redheaded girl who I thought I’d managed to murder. And now here I am, at twenty-two years old in his grasp once again, having made the greatest mistake of my life.
Suddenly I feel another set of arms wrap around the both of us.
“Group hug!” a familiar voice sings.
Leave it to Xander to make me crack a half smile in the darkest moments I’ve ever experienced. After a while I pull away and sigh.
“Do you think she’ll ever forgive me?” I ask, pulling away.
“Honestly?” Xander asks.
I nod
“No,” he says. I wish I could see that little glimmer of a lie in his eyes, but I can’t. And it kills me.
“Think about it like this,” he sighs, “would you forgive Eve for what she did?”
“This is not the same thing,” I reply coldly.
“Eve cheated your trust, she betrayed you,” he explains gently, “that’s exactly how she feels.”
Dread fills my every pore as I murmur lifelessly, “I’m as bad as Eve.”
“No wait,” he says, looking guilty and panicked all at the same time, “that’s not what I meant!”
“I know,” I reassure him so some of his guilt subsides, “but it’s true and now I’ve just realised.”
“Look Gray, you aren’t Eve. You’re never going to be Eve, but think of how you felt then. That’s how y/n feels,” Nash soothes, “she’s not going to just forgive you, that’s not how it works.”
“You just broke her heart Gray,” Xander adds, careful to keep his tone as light as a feather, “for a girl you just met.”
“Why am I horrible person? Why do I always find a way to mess to something good?” I groan, smacking my head on the wall behind me. There’s an audible thump as pain spreads through the back of my skull. I wonder if I can concuss myself to forget all of this, but I don’t attempt the idea.
“You don’t-“
“No I do,” I say firmly, cutting him off, “I’m not meant for love, to love or to be loved, I’m not built for it. I’m not a good enough person for it. I’m never going to find my Libby or my Max or my Avery.“
“Grayson-“ Nash begins.
“Emily knew it and now so does y/n,” I snap.
My brothers still at her name, not moving a muscle. I never bring up Emily.
“Listen to me,” Nash says sharply, getting my attention, “you are meant to be loved. You are meant to love. I love you, Xander loves you, Jameson loves you and y/n loved you too…”
The change of tense makes my soul ache.
“…but this time around, you made a mistake, a costly mistake. But that doesn’t mean you don’t deserve love.”
I nod numbly, robotically.
“What can I do to make it up to her?” I ask, my voice beginning to tremble, “to show her I’m sorry? Something there has to be something.”
Nash gives me a grim look and Xander’s face remains blank, they’re the only answers I need. My head sinks into my hands. The door reopens and I look back up. Jameson has returned.
He meets my eyes, “Avery’s with her.”
Blood surges through my heart and I can almost smile. He checked on her. For me.
“Is she okay?” I ask quickly.
Jameson looks at me and for a split second I almost see the ghost concern is his eyes. He shakes his head softly, “no, but she will be,” he replies, it’s an attempt to comfort me and I am grateful.
“Thank you,” I mumble.
“I’m not apologising for what I said, because I still stand by it and you won’t change my mind,” Jameson says, “but I am sorry for being so angry about it.”
“You were right,” I whisper, “you were right about me. I never deserved her, so was nothing but an angel to me and I just turned around and threw it all away. I abused the luxury I had, I stabbed her in the back and then gifted another with the knife, I’m a horrible person.”
“What you did was wrong, but that’s doesn’t make you a horrible person,” he sighs, “you need time Gray, this is going to take a lot of healing. On both sides.”
“I don’t deserve to heal, I deserve to be in pain,” I murmur, the dullness in my tone echos around the empty walls.
“Oh no, we’re not going back to emo Grayson,” Xander says quickly, shaking his head.
“I agree with Xander on this one,” Nash nods, readjusting his cowboy hat.
“I don’t want to hear you blasting my chemical romance at three a.m and then denying it later again, you came out of that phase we’re not going back there,” Jameson tells me.
I bark out a laugh that thaws my icy chest. I then bite the inside of my cheek.
“I can’t fix this, can I?” I say, looking at the ground,
Nash shakes his head softly.
“But that doesn’t mean you can’t be fixed,” Xander says.
“You’ll get through this Gray,” Jamie agrees, “I know it.”
The room grows still.
“Can we drink that whiskey now?” I ask, to cut through the silence. I feel like getting drunk, I feel like I need some relief.
“Big brother,” Xander nods at Nash handing him the bottle.
“Little brother,” he tips his cowboy hat in reply before taking the bottle into his hands and cracking it open.
“Let me pour these things properly,” Nash grins, “Jamie, come help.”
“Wait me too!” Xander jumps up,
“Stay with Gray,” he shakes his head.
“I don’t need to be babysat,” I grumble, annoyance written all over my face.
“I want to watch them pour whiskey properly,” Xander explains, “so I can impress Max.”
My eyebrows fly to my forehead, “Max drinks?”
“No I want to impress her though,” he grins.
‘You’re an odd human,” I almost laugh, tilting my head to the side.
“Why ta very much!” he says, almost skipping away.
Once I know they’re all gone, I lean back on the wall, my heart feeling a tiny bit less heavy. The pain isn’t gone. I think I’ve just gone numb. I feel hollow, empty, nothingness. Guilt is still gnawing at my insides but slower. A satifying clink against the fragile rim of the glass takes me out of my own head for a split second. There are hushed voices from the kitchen, I notice. I walk over to the door that lay ajar, I lean in to listen.
“We need to tell him,” it sounds like Jameson.
“Not now,” the accent indicates Nash.
“Then when?” Xander’s voice asks, “how long can we prolong it.”
“I can hear you,” I tell them, raising my voice a little.
They turn to face me, awkwardly remaining silent. The expressions on their faces don’t offer me comfort.
“Whatever it is, spit it out,” I say, “it’s not like tonight could get any worse.”
They share a look. Apparently it can. I feel sick to my stomach.
I can barely breathe, “who died?”
“No one has died,” Xander says quickly, “yet.”
“What?” I say, my tone deadly,
Nash glares at him, then turns back to me. There’s sorrow laced delicately, deep within his hazel irises.
“Gray,” he says gently, “Gray we hate to do this but…”
“What? What is it?” I ask urgently.
“Gigi’s missing.”
The words shock me to my core. I feel my throat begin the close up as panic returns with a smirk and triumphant greeting. My whole world has collapsed in less than 24 hours.
***
YOUR POV
I don’t hate him. Call me naive or call me stupid. But I don’t. I don’t think I ever could. The kind of love I have for him is unconditional, irrevocable. Time can’t heal a wound this deep and although it is still fresh now, I can tell. But if he were to say sorry I think I would forgive him every time. And if he asked me back I’d fall into his arms into an instant. And I hate myself for it, it’s stupid and it’s a little cruel. How easily I would take him back after what he did. I know I shouldn’t but something inside of me is drawn to him. Like an invisible magnet has been planted in our hearts. I wish I didn’t love so hard, fall so deeply, maybe I wouldn’t get hurt so badly. But it’s in my nature, it’s who I am. I wonder if he knows how much pain I’m in, the rippling agony that rolls across my chest relentlessly with no hint as to when it will cease. I’m tired of being the second choice but unfortunately I wouldn’t mind being his. And I know it’s completely stupid of me to think that way, completely wrong but love makes you do stupid things so they say. I sit on the beach, by the sea in a state of numbness. Silent tears roll down my tears as the waves lap my feet. Deja vu washes over me and the memories of Grayson and I the night of the game flash through my mind.
I grip his hand and run with him as he guides me the just beyond the shore. He sits down swiftly on the sand and pulls me down to sit between his legs. I lean my back onto his chest and let him nuzzle his face into my collarbone.
“I love you,” he whispers, kissing my neck, “only you.”
Only me, huh? Only me…
The waves crash against the rocks, hurtling a salty spray towards me. I hear footsteps and turn around. Avery stands there, a mournful expression over her delicate face. She knows. I stumble towards her and collapse into her arms in a fit of uncontrollable sobs now and she holds me. Her touch is gentle and warm but it’s nothing compared to his. I realise he might never hold me in his arms again and I cry even harder.
***
I don’t hold Lyra accountable. She is not to blame. Some girls in my position might dream about different ways to brutally murder her but I can only ask what comfort would it bring me? My feelings are already dead, what good is more pain doing?
There was a choice that Grayson Hawthorne was given: his dancer or his angel. He chose his dancer and I hope he’s happy. Because angels have wings and we rise up stronger.
idk guys I think I wrote Grayson’s POV really awfully to be honest… also I feel like the 911 meet up was not like their normal ones where they try and like do something (e.g drink or dare) and then talk about the pain but that’s bc Grayson was in such a mess and then they had to drop the bomb that Gigi was missing. so anywayyyss…
I am sorry this took so long and I hope it lived up to any expectation you wanted it too (sorry if it didn’t) and I hope you enjoyed 🤍🤍 thanks for reading as always
TIG masterlist
150 notes · View notes
hotvintagepoll · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Propaganda
Heather Angel (The Informer, The Undying Monster)—no propaganda submitted
Katharine Hepburn (Bringing Up Baby, The Philadelphia Story, The African Queen)—This woman. I have been obsessed with her for years. I know the urban legend is a popular one at this point of her walking around set in her underwear when her pants were stolen and she was left with only a skirt, but the pants thing is honestly enough for her to be the hottest in the room in my book. She refused to wear anything else at a time when the public in general and especially the studios did not like that. She was independent, stubborn, and so so very capable. Competency kink anyone? Also, if you want one final way that Katharine's entire life was saying "fuck you" to the establishment, it started young! Her mother took her to suffrage events, and she never got rid of that attitude of justice. I feel like I have barely scratched the surface of all the ways she was such a badass that I'm turning into a rambling mess instead.
This is round 1 of the bracket. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Heather Angel propaganda:
Tumblr media
Katharine Hepburn propaganda:
Tumblr media
I'm sure one million people will submit her as an iconic Hollywood star but that iconicness might lead people to forget just how insanely hot she was like she had it ALL she was skilled she was funny she was smart she was beautiful AND she was likely bisexual
The single word I would use to explain Katherine Hepburn's appeal is *range*. In her acting career, that meant covering all the ground between lush period dramas and the comedies she did with Carey Grant and Spencer Tracey. In terms of hotness, it meant an uncanny ability to bring anything from a Dietrich-esque androgyny to some of the best Classic Hollywood Glamour you will ever see.
Katharine hep was so cool. The VIBES, the INDEPENDENCE,,, living life on her own terms.
Tumblr media
she just had this.... bearing to her, this power. she could be funny, even silly (like in bringing up baby) but also so regal and elegant. she was nobody's fool and dear GOD that's so hot
Fancam link
She’s not only stunningly gorgeous (those eyes that pierce your soul! a jawline you could cut glass with!) but her delivery and physical presence in roles gives off confidence and authority in such a sexy way (truly the biggest dick energy of Old Hollywood). Her fiery energy in The Philadelphia Story? Unmatched.
God she's. She's so hot y'all. She has the range!!!!! Funny and dramatic and lovely
Tumblr media
She IS the transatlantic accent. Classically gorgeous and such a strong personality.
She's literally one of the funniest women to ever live! She goes shot for shot with Cary Grant in Philadelphia Story and we damn well love her for it! She's the most annoying creature to ever live in Bringing Up Baby but she's so insane and funny that we simply cannot help but fall in love with her (and root for her to give Grant an aneurysm!)
i know she's accounted for but i really want to be sure someone has submitted the scene in bringing up baby where she's pretending to be a gangster
She simply stuns onscreen; you cannot do anything but be captivated by her presence. Also a non-gender-conforming icon and mild tumblr celebrity by virtue of that one picture from The Warrior's Husband (stage play).
Tumblr media
Katharine Hepburn was out here casually changing the lives of young butch lesbians with her gender swag! She wore pants even when people said she shouldn’t, she refused to marry or have kids, and she wore menswear in at LEAST one movie!
Someone's got to mention it, but she's won the most Oscars out of any performer and is largely considered one of the greatest actresses ever. She's got an incredible voice, an incredible presence, and she absolutely steals every scene she's in. She was private person and deemed standoffish and unapproachable, but she was also profoundly concerned for people's rights and was an outspoken supporter of abortion access. Finally, the Katharine Hepburn slacks look is just iconic. I mean look at her.
If I start thinking about her face for too long I will cry she is so so hot. Katherine is so charismatic and charming in everything she appears in - watch her adopt a leopard and fall in love with her. Also she has the biggest dick energy ever (she and her pal Lauren Bacall share that accolade). Also had an incredibly long and varied career from screw ball comedies to serious dramas - she’s a queen of the screen and I adore her.
(I hope someone else submits real propaganda but just in case they don't:) Cries. Screams. Wails. The woman who singlehandedly made me realize I was bi. A real "do i want to look like her. be her. or be with her.' crisis, where the answer was all three. Holy shit please all three.
Tumblr media
377 notes · View notes
pixelnrd · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The premier of Heather's cooking show was a family affair. Rather than watch with her producers and team, Heather wanted to watch the first episode at home with the people who mattered the most to her.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
The kids found it incredibly exciting, seeing their Mom on tv. Heather tried to be proud of herself and not cringe at the sound of her own voice. Jenny was full of encouragement, and yet awestruck and amazed at this new reality. Heather, a celebrity chef!
'I think I'm ready,' postualted Heather, as they celebrated. 'To finally open my own restaurant. I'm not going back to anyone elses kitchen. I need to ride this wave, while we have the publicity.'
'I think that's the best idea,' smiled Jenny. A cookbook, a career, a food stall, and now owning their own restaurant!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Heather kept her new venture local, and opened a cheerful family-friendly restaurant in central Copperdale. 'Plates' was a cosy joint, with delicious yet familiar food that everyone could enjoy - yet with Heather's personal spin on the dishes.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
The opening night for the restaurant generated huge publicity, and the biggest names in town came to enjoy the fruits of Heather's labour. Jenny was there by her side, and Heather publicly credited Jenny to all the paparazzi as the woman by her side who had helped get her to this point in her life. After all, without Jenny - Heather would never have come out of her shell.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
188 notes · View notes
buttahpie · 25 days
Text
i actually genuinely think about Paul and Linda so much
(I know i’m a Mclennon blog but P&L and literally endgame. i’m so obsessed with them they have my whole <3).
and more specifically i think about them having Mary. something about Linda who was already a mother and knew what to expect, what to do, what it was like to have a baby of your own—but she had to show Paul the ropes.
I just have this image of Paul being so in love with Mary the way new parents always are with their first babies: “Is she okay?”, “Can I hold her like this?”, “She’s so tiny”, “Is it okay that she’s crying?”. And Linda just lovingly helping him and probably equally falling in love with just seeing Paul interact with a baby that was his. Watching him step into fatherhood in a new way. Obviously he stepped up for Heather but a 6 year old who is already becoming a person of their own is totally different from a baby, and baby that is specifically yours.
Or better yet: Linda telling Paul she was pregnant at the height of the tension of The Beatles in what I can imagine was one of the most turbulent times in Paul’s life. Paul says so himself that Mary came when he need her most. But I can just imagine the light in his eyes when she tells him, I’m sure it was a breath of fresh air for both of them.
Linda getting a chance to heal her own relationship with parenthood, and Paul getting to be a dad when he needed it most.
I’m so obsessed with them.
Tumblr media
81 notes · View notes