#an interlude of sorts… a .5 chapter

[sleephyuns]

The start of college was a breath of fresh air for Momo.

It meant the beginning of a new chapter. The start of a long, thrilling story. The tale of her adventures in a new country.

It meant freedom.

And with that freedom, came a chance to explore every possible facet of her life. Including her sexuality.

She’d made it a mission. A promise. Once the first semester was under her belt, it was time to go on the hunt.

She made note of things she’d seen in videos, thing she could only dream of doing before she even stepped foot on new soil. The possibilities were endless, if she found likeminded people. But there was no doubt in her mind that she could do it. She came to Korea determined, ready to live out her dreams with nothing but the belongings she could fit into two suitcases and a backpack.

And oh yeah. Sana had come with her too.

But that aside, she was ready for whatever opportunities life threw her way, in any form. Because of course she had come to a new place for much more than sexual encounters. Obviously. She wasn’t some weirdo like that. It was a choice she’d made, between Korea or the States. And in the end, she decided she couldn’t bring herself to go too far from home, even if freedom was what she was after.

So now she was here, ready and raring to go with her checklist of life. If she wanted to ace all her classes, she could do it! If she wanted to have a successful career, she could do it! And if she wanted to fuck any person who so much as piqued her sexual interests, she could do it!

…At least, that’s what she had planned for.

To have to trudge back up the stairs with a barely-passing essay in her hand was torture. Pure, pure torture.

Even worse now that she was in the second semester. But it was just so hard to get a good grasp on a language she hadn’t started learning until highschool.

She could handle math decently, but writing? No way, no way. If only she could just pull the thoughts right out of her head as she had them, no matter what language, and just print them across the paper.

Maybe then she’d be better at formatting a more realistic checklist for herself too.

As her hope faded away, that checklist started to become much more realistic over time. Much more simple, and faster to obtain.

Right now she was at:

- Go on a date (Sana didn’t count. That was a bestie thing.)

- Get at least a 70% on her midterms

- Make out with someone at a party (Sana still didn’t count. That was just harmless fun.)

- Try out her mom’s curry recipe with the ingredients available to her

- (Possible?) mutual masturbation with a (preferably new) friend (‘New’ eliminated Sana. Not that it would count anyway. That was a moment of weakness for both of them.)

- Remember to try out for dance club this semester

- Buy a new toy (the one Sana gifted didn’t count…)

…Ok, it was safe to say Sana had been checking off way too many things for her. But she wasn’t like that with every friend! No way! That would be crazy. Some friends were best left as that, with no sort of sexual benefits.

But Sana…

Sana was her best friend, her platonic soulmate… who she just happened to be very physically close to. She was just as enthusiastic as Momo was about using sex as stress relief or as filler for the gaps of boredom. Or, when she was annoyed that some guy she’d hook up with got insecure about the… size difference… between them and ghosted her. Momo would be there to bring her kind words and some physical comfort.

Was there anything so off about that?

Normally, after shipping off to a new country together, this would be the part where they’d slowly realize their feelings for each other. Then they’d run off together, and — after months of angst — would get together officially, knowing they were destined to love each other.

…Yeah right.

The thought of that made Momo laugh, glad no one else was in the elevator to see her little outburst. They really were just horny and high off of fresh independence.

Speaking of which, Momo thought as she got out on her floor, maybe she could ask Sana for another favor today. It was Wednesday, so she should either be at their dorm already or close to coming back. And if she wasn’t? Well, sharing a room with Sana meant it was easy to establish rules about “alone time” and all that. It was pretty much free reign, and Momo didn’t particularly mind getting walked in on, which meant there was no need to rush.

Yet, when she walked past the tiny sliver of a living area they shared with the room across the hall, rethinking on today’s failed academic mission in the cool silence, she realized something.

‘Something,’ being that she really wasn’t feeling a solo mission today.

Call it a bad habit, but she wanted to get lost in the heat of someone else. And her quickest option was always Sana. So she’d wait. Wait for as long as she could, at least. And if Sana wasn’t feeling fully up to it, they could work around it. She could just ask her to suck on her tits or something while her own hand took care of the rest.

Again, that was if Sana came home soon.

With a sigh, Momo shuffled into their shared room, practically chucking her crumpled essay papers on her desk.

“Just great…”

Even greater that there was no hope for revisions, even if she did have the courage to ask.

Just great, just great.

She slung her bag over her desk chair and missed, causing all of her papers and pens from class to scatter all over the floor.

Even greater!

She didn’t even feel like cleaning it up, deciding to just flop back onto her bed instead. She should really change into her more comfortable clothes but… ah well.

Laying there and thinking over her daily struggles was the plan. And thinking about fun once Sana got back….

It had been a few days since the last time. Over a week actually. It wasn’t her fault she was needy. All this thinking about essays and sex and class and sex and failure and sex and sex and sex…

It was making it worse.

Tossing and turning was making it worse too. She could feel how stiff her clit was whenever she shifted her legs even the slightest bit. She was starting to get wet too. God this was torture. Maybe she was ovulating or something because there was no reason she should be feeling this primal-

“Hello?”

From past her bedroom door she could hear a muffled voice. It was way to faint for her to make out who it was or where they were. For all she knew they could just be wandering out by the hall. Or maybe they were outside and the sound bounced itself off the walls. So she waited a few more seconds. Which was all she needed to confirm, because a knock followed soon after.

She wondered if Sana had possibly forgotten her keycard and sprung into action. Pulse pounding, chest heaving and mind racing, she ran out to the common area and opened the door and then-

And then…

Then it wasn’t Sana at the door. Not at all. It was-

“Hi, I’m Nayeon. Are you Sana?”

It was someone named Nayeon. Looking for Sana.

That made two of them.

“Uh, no. Um… she’s… not here,” Momo wasn’t quite sure what to say. This wasn’t even a dialogue option prepared in her brain for something like this. Pretty girl. Shoulder length hair. Who isn’t Sana. Full lips. At the door. Expensive looking clothes. Looking for Sana. Good fashion. Waiting for Momo to speak… What was she supposed to say??

“Sorry,” Nayeon easily filled the space that Momo’s voice couldn’t, “this might be weird since I never met her. Or you. I just got the room number because a friend of mine asked me to drop this off but… I guess Sana’s not here!” She laughed stiffly, holding up a folder full of papers and Sana’s worn down backpack. If she hadn’t come back yet, she must be searching all over for it by now.

Classic Sana.

Momo grabbed for the folder extended to her and missed. Then grabbed again, brushing Nayeon’s hand and jolting so hard that a few papers spilled out onto the room’s floor. Awesome. Really awesome.

It really wasn’t her fault, though. It was just a little hard to act normal when:

1) Momo hadn’t been expecting to meet any new people today (she had to prepare for that mentally),

2) The girl at the door was super pretty and seemed a lot more used to talking than she was,

And 3) She had to act normal, as if she wasn’t just about to plead for sex from (who she assumed was) Sana.

Her mind was jumbled. Unsure what to ask. What should she ask when she could barely process anything?

“Come inside?” She tried.

Nayeon’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline. “Huh?”

“Did you want to? Come? In? In here?”

“Um…. Why?”

“Because I… you.. um. You want to wait for Sana?” Momo weakly offered up. Anything to explain her awful attempts at everything.

“Oh! Well… no that’s ok. Like I said, my friend knows Sana. Not me. She said I should just drop it off here. So sorry to trouble you ummm…”

Nayeon stared at her. Hard. And it was kind of hot, but Momo wasn’t sure why she was doing it-

“Your name? What’s your name?”

“Oh. Momo.”

“Oh Momo?”

“No. Hirai Momo.”

“Hirai? You and Sana are both Japanese?”

“Yeah. We’re… good friends.”

Wasn’t she just the smoothest girl around?

“I see. It’s good you have each other,” Nayeon nodded, more to herself than to Momo. “Well, thanks for answering the door Momo. I have to go, but maybe I’ll see you around campus?”

“Yeah. I hope so.” She closed the door quickly wondering why the hell she’d said that. In fact, it would be better if they didn’t see each other anymore so Momo wouldn’t have to self destruct.

She pressed her back against the door, sliding down until she hit the ground. Head in her hands, she sighed loudly, trying her hardest to compose herself. But then-

“Um… Momo?” Nayeon’s muffled voice called out, “you forgot to take the bag from me. I’ll just leave it out here, ok? …Take care.”

…

Nayeon left. Sana still hadn’t come back. And the day continued as it was.

But Momo sat there, replaying the same 5 minutes of conversation in her head over and over. Unmoving. Until the only thing she could think to say about it all was:

“Yeah… I really could use sex right about now.”

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Pure Filth

Pic used: x - It has not been altered.

Summary: You and Jensen enjoy a brief interlude back stage.

Pairings: Rockstar!Jensen x Musician!Reader (You)

Warnings: Smut. Dirty imagery. Brief fingering. Unprotected PinV sex. Public sex (mostly - your backstage, people are around). Little bit of dirty talk.

Word Count: 801

A/N: Okay, so I'm for sure still working on Chapter 5 and 6 of The Quicksilver Princess and barring some sort of disaster, I'll post both chapters by next Friday.

But I still haven't been able to get Austin out of my mind. The man is an absolute sex rock god! and the concert is lingering in my mind. I know I'm not alone. I got this request from @kayyay1219 and I knew I had to write something else besides Whiskey, Neat.

Hope you enjoy!! ❤️

As always, of course, this is a single, multiverse version of Jensen. This is a complete and utter work of fiction. 😊

His head was thrown back, his pearl white teeth sunk deep into his plush bottom lip as you rubbed him through his jeans. His body still dripped sweat and the tang of it hit your nose as you buried your face in his neck.

You and Jensen had barely made it off the stage before he'd slipped behind some stacked up equipment boxes to slam you against the wall there, only partially shielding you both from the eyes of those who were running around backstage. 

It didn't matter. 

The rest of the band and the road crew knew how the two of you were together. You fought hard, fucked hard, and made incredible, electric music together.

That volatile combination was what brought endless, teeming crowds to your concerts and made the band skyrocket to the top of the charts over and over again.

So everyone just dealt with the fallout from it.

Jensen's lips were frantic and searching now; he breathed you in as he ran his tongue along your jaw before plunging it, wide and wet, into your open, waiting mouth.

As he inhaled you, consumed you, his hands were pulling at your clothes, shoving them up and out of his way so he could dimple your soft, yielding flesh with his hard fingers, squeezing you so tight it felt like he was leaving his fingerprints behind.

You pushed your hands up under the tank top he wore, running them over his sticky skin to his back, loving the way his muscles flexed and moved under your roaming fingers. 

He lifted your tight black skirt so it sat around your waist and then pushed your panties aside so he could swipe his middle finger and forefinger through your hot, wet slick, coating them quickly.

“Unf, fuck, fuck…” He chanted into your ear, before growling loudly as you raked your nails down his beautiful back, collecting him under your nails. The skin and sweat there made you feel dirty and clean at the same time.

You often joked with each other that the life you lived together was pure filth.

The way you loved each other was pure, even if it was dangerous. The way you clung to each other as Jensen slammed into you, acting as an alchemist, changing you from two beings into one. He was Plato, putting the two halves of your one soul back together, and it was pure. 

But the sounds you both made, the physical reality of the moment between you was filthy. The way he grunted as he desperately tried to get even deeper inside you, the way you sucked in too much air and let it slowly leak out of you in an earthy, whining sigh, the way your bodies slid against one another, slick with sweat - it was filthy.

The two of you together were pure filth.

In the hot, thick cacophony of backstage, he fucked you hard and deep, your leg held to his hip as he drove into you. His other hand was pressed tight against your clit, his fingers circling and creating a sharp and aching pleasure that you knew was about to explode.

He knew it too, and when he spoke his voice was rough, whiskey soaked and demanding, the same voice he used when he sang your songs on stage.

“I want everything from you, baby, squeeze me so fucking tight. Give me all your heat and all your screams.” 

He bent his head to lick the salt from your skin and suck on your neck, drinking you in like smooth, sweet tequila.

With his final thrust, you gave up all he asked for, screaming and clenching around him so tightly that he came instantly, his body rutting against you as your pussy milked him dry. 

You both stood on shaky legs and pulled in shaky breaths as he crushed you against the wall, the only thing keeping the two of you propped up.

Less than a minute passed before you heard your stage manager calling out to you both, standing far enough away that she wouldn't get an unsolicited peep show.

“Come the fuck on, you two!" She yelled at you. “The crowd's going ape shit for an encore!” She walked away, shaking her head indulgently.

You managed to help each other stand up straight; you tucked Jensen back into his jeans, and he pulled your skirt back down.

The way you could feel his cum slowly leaking out of you, staining your panties and wetting your thighs, was indecently filthy.

But the warmth in his shining green eyes as he looked down at you, and the way you could both feel your hearts pick up the rhythm of the drums as they called you to the stage - that was beautifully pure.

It was the Yin and Yang of your lives with one another and you wouldn't have changed that perfect balancing act for anything.

Tag Lists:

Jensen RPF and Any/All Characters:

@lyarr24

@lacilou

@deans-spinster-witch

@globetrotter28

@suckitands33

*

@alwaystiredandconfused

@jzackles

@jackles010378

@impala67rollingthroughtown

@krazykelly

*

@candy-coated-misery0731

@envyaurora95

@spnwoman

@deans-baby-momma

@luvr4miya

*

@arcannaa

@viviwatchestv

@winharry

@ladysparkles78

@kr804573

*

@whimsyfinny

*

Any/All Fics Regardless of Character or Fandom:

@kazsrm67

@slut-for-evans-stan

@sexyvixen7

@nancymcl

@hobby27

*

@waywardcheshire

*

Everything Incl. Fan Edits:

@k-slla

@leigh70

@eevvvaa

@kickingitwithkirk

@foxyjwls007

*

@notinthislife50

@roseblue373

@mishkatelwarriorgoddess

@avanatural

@mrsjenniferwinchester

*

@all-alone-he-turns-to-stone

@deangirl96

@stoneyggirl2

@fanfic-n-tabulous

[flamingpudding]

Masterpost

I think I did enough writing on tumblr that this should be okay to do :D

Update status: 22.11.2024 Updated the existing List and added the Little Snippets Holding List

Account I use to reblog: @flamingpuddingreblogs

Ghost Kid in Ghotam

AO3 Link: Available here, so far [9/?] Parts updated

Warning for AO3: Parts / Chapters might have additional content or slightly changed content after editing. Since tumblr Posts are the Raw Versions.

1. The Beginning

2. Literal Angle Biter

3. Feral brother of mine

4. How to catch a baby brother

5. Thrill and Chirp brother

6. A dead but now revived Son

7. Interlude: A different perspective

8. Ghost Cult Guides and Light Silhouettes

9. Pit Demons aren't pets, now stop biting!

10. No work at the dinner table

11. One Step Closer

12. A Mother's Care

13. Interlude: A Brothers Protection

14. The secrets we keep for others

15. Green and Red Emotions, similar but not

16. ...

The Ghost King is my Uncle Drabbles

Original One Shot

Shovel Talks - Rowdy Cousin

It started with a Ouija Board

Ouija Board Prompt Idea

Ghost Hunting Vigilantes Part 1 Part 2

Summoning Gone Wrong

Modern (Fenton) Ghost Hunting Part 1

Ghost Twins: Lost in Gotham

Work in Progress...

Original Prompt

Sneak Peak

Drake's family secret

Part #1 #2

Cassiopeia and Orion

Part #1 #2 #3

Sort of completed Posts:

>>Posted Prompt Ideas / One Shot List

>>DPxDC Family Week 2023 Post List

-> AO3 Link: DPxDC Family Week Contributions

>>Fictober23 Written Prompts List

>>Little Snippets Holding List

[val-cansalute]

PICKING UP THE ———- PIECES -———

ch.4

a/n - took ages cuz school is kicking my ass. somewhat sensitive content in terms of mental health but nothing that bad, nothing big really happens this chapter, creds to cafekitsune for dividers.

ch. 1

ch. 2

ch. 3

ch. 5

ch. 6

Thump. Thump. Thump.

Your body, mind and soul are pulsating, a nauseating wave of dread overcoming you with each heartbeat.

“Come on, just fucking do it!”

“I can’t! Shit!”

“Please! Fuck!”

“I can’t…”

“Bug… Listen to me… I know it’s cruel… But you have to do this-”

“No… No, I can’t, Soren. I can’t.”

“Please, Bug… Please… I’m so sorry…”

You can still close your eyes and picture the way back to the home you shared with him. It could be a million miles far out but you’d still find the way. You’ll go back soon, trace your fingertips over the walls you scrubbed clean - place fresh flowers where he lays, if you’re able to bring yourself to.

So, just breathe in, breathe out.

Clad in the rugged clothes you are now shakily fidgeting with the ends of, you walk through the open door and merge with the scattering of people across the bar’s floor.

First time going to one of these things.

Why did you come here? What, in god’s name, were you thinking?

It was supposed to be a farewell of sorts. A final look over the people of Jackson.

They are the ones you never felt compelled to get to know. The half-healed-wounds, cuts incessantly reopened by the fragments of all that was lost in the turmoil, beared deep within. None of you will ever stop carrying those shards with you, though they cut you up from the inside-out.

The one thing that keeps you all entwined, like the roots of an aspen tree, is love and loss, heart-wrenchingly deep. But these people were capable of letting themselves be free.

You do not want to forget. You do not want to stay here, where the edges become blunt with time and comfort; you’ve become a drunkard on the pain. To be without it leaves you with deafening guilt, and thoughts so dense that they consume your mind wholly, flooding out all else.

They buzz, faces livened by the gentle orange glow of the lighting. You watch from outside the harmony and stop your eyes when they discover, among the many clusters of people, three familiar faces.

Ellie, Dina and Jesse sat at a table on rusted foldable chairs, carrying glasses of alcohol and a rhythmic laughter. She looked undeniably breathtaking, Ellie.

Your recollection of her would present the least cracks. She is the one you spent the most time with, got to know the best - in more ways than one.

But she made your chest ache. You joked and giggled, but within the depths of the interludes, you felt the sinking dread that takes over when you let yourself forget the ache. And watching her from a distance, when she was so blissfully unaware of the effect she had on you, made you feel both empty and consumed with regret, because you should not be wasting your emotions and time on such an insignificant infatuation.

She could up and leave without a second thought only minutes after making you breathless. She gently lifted you out of your thoughts and then plunged you back into their murky waters like it was nothing.

You can sit there and pretend your eyes don’t sting as you chew at the flesh of your bottom lip, but they’re bloodshot, and you’re blinking erratically.

Fuck it. Might as well go over, right? It’s not like you’re gonna get the chance to again.

So, with hesitant steps, you exit the comfort of the shadowy corner and venture out into the open, making your way through the labyrinth of bodies to get to Ellie. Her face gradually comes into focus and you notice the endearing pink tinge in the freckle-spattered apples of her cheeks as she grins. She's tipsy. Maybe that will make this easier to push through.

Shaky hands - you focus on seizing back control over them before tapping her shoulder gently. And maybe it's the sentiment of this being your final goodbye, but the warmth that radiates through her hoodie, the soft wisps of baby hairs at the base of her neck, and the dazed look in her eyes when they meet yours, woven with fine forest green threads and dilated pupils, all make your stomach churn with longing.

"Hey," her voice is barely above a whisper against the deep sound of Jesse's laughter, gentle and inviting.

"Hey."

She pulls a chair closer and nods to it, so you sit quietly, pretending to ignore the glances Ellie sends your way. She clears her throat.

"Uh... Sorry, I left in such a hurry. I mean, I would've, you know, stayed, but- if that's what you would've wanted-"

"It's good. You're good."

God, her obvious nervousness gives you some sick sort of satisfaction.

Her lips part, and you know she wants to ask you something more, but the words die in her throat and she turns to face her laughing friends with a scratch of her neck.

“Would you have… Fuck, never mind,” she mutters, leaning forward, avoiding your gaze, but it’s okay because you’re avoiding hers too.

You hesitate, “… Wanted you to stay?”

And she finally looks at you, the quiet between you hanging heavy. She’s desperately trying to gauge your reaction.

“… Yeah… Would you?”

“… Sure.”

You wish you could talk to her about it, but talking about it is so fucking tiring - with no idea where to start or where to stop, and so much you know you’ll regret saying to the point of nausea.

She nods, a small smile playing on her lips, and you can tell she's trying to feign thoughtfulness despite her clouded mind finally being offered relief. That's a definite green light.

Between the lulls in conversation and bouts of laughter, a whole other world of unspoken affection builds between the two of you. Ellie's hand finds the hem of your sleeve and fidgets with it, fingertips grazing your skin too often to be dismissed as accidental before she eventually gives in and interlocks your fingers with hers.

Your stomach feels warm and your heart feels full, digging up the confidence to trace small, gentle circles into the roughened skin of her hand with your thumb. Maybe the blush that's deepening behind the mottle of freckles shows that the genuineness of this made it's way through your touch and to her.

You're going to miss her; you cannot deny that.

And, god, you wish that you could stay stagnant in this moment forever, but conversations drag on and the clock ticks tirelessly.

The thought of becoming attached to anyone again claws cruelly at your skull; it skews up your insides and churns up the acid in your stomach.

The thought of getting too close is terrifying; you can’t risk it, you cannot bear the loss. Never wanna go through it again. Never wanna feel this pain.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Soren.”

“I don’t- I can’t turn into them, Bug, please… Please don’t let me…”

You’re already panicking.

Staggered, you rise to your feet, and Ellie's widened, bewildered eyes shoot to yours when you rip your hand out of her hold. Maybe they remain on you as you rush haphazardly out of Joel's place and back to yours, but you'll never know because you don't spare her a glance over your shoulder.

Ellie’s nails are jagged and short, the skin behind them red and angry. It hurts, but she keeps biting, trying desperately to exert some of her fear.

She hopes others don’t notice her change in demeanour following your sudden departure, since even that went unnoticed amidst the festivities of the evening, and judging by the slack-jawed, barely-present faces surrounding her, she had no reason to fret.

The look on your face was deeper than discomfort, beyond the realm of any possible effects of her touch. It was pained. It was worrisome.

So worrisome, that she’s still sat in the same spot half an hour later, hunched over and chewing up her non-existent nails, in deep concentration. Maybe you felt overwhelmed. Maybe she was coming on too strong.

And she can’t bear it. So, she gets up almost as abruptly as you did and pats her jacket pockets in search of apology weed, in case she pushed a boundary earlier (it will make a piece of her die, but she’ll suggest staying friends), before she makes her way out in spite of the slurred sound of her friends calling out to her.

Ellie powers through the harsh cruelty of Jackson’s winter to get to your dingy little home. The sight of her warm breath whirling as it wafted up from her lips looks like a ribbon dance, but her mind is racing so intensely that she can’t admire it.

Eventually, she arrives at your doorstep. It’s always an unnerving sight - not a single sign of life escapes your home; from outside, it looks abandoned. Even more so than usual.

Three timid knocks to reflect her hesitation, and on the last thump, the door swings open upon contact with her knuckles.

Fuck. Still gotta fix that lock, huh.

The room is pooled with darkness that is tinged blue by the moon’s glow seeping in. But even amid the darkness, Ellie’s heart has dropped to the pit out of her stomach, because she can tell it’s sparse; all the trinkets and belongings once scattered around are replaced by designs imitating their shapes within the fine layer of dust clinging to each surface. It’s clean, too clean, and most of all, you aren’t here.

You are not here.

“Hey!”

She steps in, eyes darting around the room, hoping desperately to find you laying somewhere.

“I brought weed!”

An eternal whirring interlaces with the silence; the quiet rhythmic hum of your absence, and it’s jarring.

Then, she notices it, sitting crumpled, corner beneath the base of a book, upon your desk. A rough sheet of paper.

“ To whoever finds this,

sorry bout Star? Joey

Blossom Shimmer? the horse. ”

Fuck. You left Jackson.

And you still don’t know any of the damn horse’s names.

[cpericardium]

Compilation of Megafire's Wildbow Essays (Imported)

I haven't read all of them myself, but the few I did were always worthwhile and interesting, so I thought I'd index them here for anyone who hasn't heard of them or checked them out. As I recall, these were written by Megafire as the chapters were coming out.

CHARACTERIZATION OF CAROL IN WARD

REDDIT INDEX

Chapter 3.6 

The Warden's HQ, or, Playing With Time

Chapter 4.6 

Natalie, or, Working Through Proxies

Chapter 5.9 

Power Dynamics, or, Why Carol Love(s/d) Mark

Chapter 6.3 

Trust, Safety and Control, or, General Opinion

Chapter 7.4 

A Glimmer of Hope, or, Victoria and Carol have an Actual Conversation!?

Chapter 8.2 

Meeting the Parents, or, Never mind, Carol is Back to Being Carol

Chapter 8.9 

Baby Steps, or, Carol Manages to Respect Boundaries for Once

Chapter 9.12-9.13 

Bonus Damsel Interlude, or, This Will Pay Off Later, I Promise

Chapter 10.1 

The Diner, or, I Yell a Lot

Chapter 10.y 

Bonus Chris Interlude, or, This Has Nothing to Do With Carol, I Just Really Like This One

Chapter 12.1 

Ruminating on New Wave, or, Why Mark Loves Carol

Chapter 12.2 

Carol vs Damsel, or, I Told You It'd Pay Off

Chapter 12.f 

Ryan and Cradle, or, What It Means to be Good, and, Competing Access Needs, or, Why the Dream Room is the Worst

Chapter 12.9 

The Bubble, or, Making You Feel Even Worse About Carol Getting Hurt

Chapter 14.5 

The Greenhouse, or, Carol Brought Low

Chapter 14.6 (Sort of) 

Drawing Similarities, or, What's Left for Carol

Chapter 14.7 

Chris' Crossroads, or, Screw It, I Guess I'm Talking About Chris Too Now

Chapters 14.9 + 14.10 

Her Mother's Daughter, or, What Amy Learned From Carol

Chapter 14.12 

Piecing Together Chris, or, What Do Monsters Mean?

Chapter 15.7 

Slaves to Fate, or, Predictions and Responsibility

Also Chapter 15.7 

Ultimate Agency, or, Who Is Contessa?

Chapter 16.4 

Mockeries and Funhouse Mirrors, or, Paths Not Taken

Chapter 16.y 

Attempted Therapy, or, Amy Is Not Doing Well

Chapter 17.1 

Family Issues, or, Confrontations Vis-a-Vis Parentage

Chapter 19.1 

The Curious Case of Sarah Pelham, or, A Basic Overview of the Shit That Happened to Sarah

Chapter 19.9-19.10 

The Talk, or, How To Screw Up Your Kids In One Easy Conversation

Chapter 20.e6 

Carol: Final, or, What Has Carol Learned? (Hint: Not Much)

---

PALE ANALYSIS

REDDIT INDEX

Verona and her Dad, a Transactional analysis

Why Verona's Dad is a Literal Manchild - mostly about Out on a Limb 3.1, but with references to 3.4

Adults, Parents and Children

Lucy is Verona's Only Good Parental Figure (and That's Kind Of Sad) - Leaving a Mark 4.2

Pale: Justice

The Cast Of Law And Order: Kennet - Cutting Class 6.z

Practitioner Supremacy

Boy There Are Some Real World Parallels Here - Gone Ahead 7.1

Practitioner Parenting

Regular Old Bad Parenting - Vanishing Points 8.4

Abuse

Brett is an Absolute Bastard - Shaking Hands 9.9

Avery's Games and Gimmicks

Breaking Patterns Is Hard - Dash to Pieces 11.10

Transgressive Acts

Why the Mussers are like the Spartans - Break 5

Practitioners and Others, a Binary

The Binary is a Lie! - Gone and Done It 17.x

Judging the Judiciary

What About the Judges? - Crossed With Silver 19.z

Hostile Environment

Power Plays for the Future - In Absentia 21.12

[thedexcat]

TTYD is a wild ride

The recent remake got me to reminisce about this game. There's just something so wonderfully out of place this game is in regards to the Mario franchise as a whole. In summary: Prologue: Welcome to this absolute hellhole of a city! Experience assault, gang violence, and robbery within mere minutes! Interludes: "...TTYD Peac, who gets naked 10,000 times per scene, is a statistical outlier adn should not have been counted." Chapter 1: Local dragon amasses absurdly high kill count via appeals to greed and foot fetishism Chapter 2: "Were... were they intending for this to be a metaphor for...?" (See: WoolieVS playthrough) (insights that make you go "oh no" 😬) Chapter 3: Mario is on the wrong side of the class divide, and needs mafia connections to proceed. Also, surprise! There's murders happening! Chapter 4: Mario's adventure suddenly becomes an allegory for gender dysphoria! ...You don't remember that? That's because the Gamecube-era localizers were COWARDS! (Remake-era, not so much 👍) Chapter 5: Don't worry about the fact that you released a murderous pillaging ghost-pirate out into the world for your own benefit. It's fine. Probably. Ch. 5 Bonus: ...What do you mean you also gave an endangered species brain damage???? Chapter 6: A nice, low-impact story arc to unwind and- OH GOD THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AAAAAGGGH Chapter 7: Mario reactivates an old Cold War-era Soviet weapons system. By now this sort of thing feels par for the course. Chapter 8: funny bing bing wahoo man fights the harbinger of the End Times

Blursed anomaly of a Mario game that shaped my youth, 10/10

[cyten0]

A Symphony of Crimson Masterpost

Figured this is gonna have quite a few chapters, so time to make it sort-able! Will update it as time goes on.

A combination of the carrion!sif au originally by @traumaboyexo, and an Au I was working on before, to add elements of AdventureQuest World's Astravia. Only needed reading is ISAT itself!

Siffrin is dead. And has been for a long time. But Something wants to live as them. Something that hungers. Something unnatural. But they want to stay with these people. And hope that they don't hurt them...

But Monsters rarely get what they want.

[Dialogue Symbol Key]

[Prelude]

The following are links to the chapters released on tumblr, which are outdated somewhat. The accurate version is on AO3.

Act 1: Movement in Black

Ch: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12] [13] [14] [15] [16] [17] [18][19] [20] [21] [22] [?]

Act 2: Movement in White (Optimally read A-B, A-B)

A Side: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

B Side: [1] [2] [3] [4] [5]

Interludes and Misc moments

[End of a World]

Asks are recommended! Feel free to ask away! Change and Equinox will happily deliver said asks to the party. You can also ask the Scale questions, as they have tech to talk to Change!

#Symphony!Asks is the tag I use for ask questions.

Character Ref: [Siffrin? and Loop] [The Scale]

[hbyrde36]

Caught in the Undertow

Chapter Six

WC: 4380 | R: Explicit | TW: Suicidal ideation/depression | Ch 6/10 | AO3

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 <-

Steve watched the glow from the streetlights dance along the walls of his bedroom as a gentle breeze coming in through the open window sent his curtains fluttering.

The smell of tobacco smoke still clung to his shirt and hair from the cigarettes he and Eddie had shared out back. Normally he would have showered to avoid letting the odor settle into his sheets and pillow, but the usually acrid smell now just reminded him of Eddie, and he found himself turning over onto his stomach to press his face into it, breathing deep.

Which… okay. 

That—that was definitely not normal. And decidedly not something Steve had ever done thinking about a friend before. Sure he loved Robin, and the smell of her body spray was comforting and familiar, but he’d never felt the desire to roll around in it.

Of course, he’d never before felt a lot of the things he did where Eddie was concerned. 

And that whole interlude earlier with the cigarettes. He could pretend it was only due to the fact that Eddie’s lighter had been broken, but it would be a lie. It was unmistakably a move.

He’d pulled a move on a guy.

He’d pulled a move on Eddie Munson, and it’d felt like the most natural thing in the world.

It was as sure a sign as any that maybe it was time to let himself consider it, to let himself examine everything he’d been pushing to the side for way too long now.  

Steve cast his mind back to the first time he’d truly seen Eddie. Like he’d told Wayne, they’d been aware of each other in school, Hawkins was a small town after all, but they hadn’t actually interacted all that much. 

No, the first time Steve had looked—really looked—into those big sad brown eyes was in the boathouse, wide and terrified from the moment Eddie had jumped out from beneath that blue tarp, and pinned him against the wall. 

Steve had instantly recognized the pain in those eyes, the way it echoed his own, and before Eddie had even told his story he already knew there was no way the other boy was guilty of anything more than being in the wrong place at the wrong time. 

In that moment something fiercely protective had settled in his chest. Right up there with Robin and Dustin, Nancy and the others, though he barely knew the guy at the time, Eddie’s name was penned in permanent ink on the growing list of people he would lay his life down to keep safe.

It only got worse from there. More confusing.

All throughout that awful week Steve had felt drawn to Eddie, completely unable to resist the pull. Anytime they were together—in the boathouse, walking through the Upside Down, sitting in the RV—he always found himself right next to Eddie, drifting into his space, or else searching out his gaze.

Those moments when they weren’t together, when they’d been forced to leave him behind to keep him hidden, Steve had been completely consumed with worry.

He almost lost it the day they came back to the boathouse to find Eddie gone and the place crawling with cops. Those few minutes before he managed to radio them from Skull Rock had been dark, leaving Steve ready to tear the entire town apart to find him.

But nothing could hold a candle to the way he’d felt on the night they’d nearly lost Eddie for good. When Steve had stupidly left him and Dustin behind to deal with the bats on their own. He’d convinced himself, or tried to, that it was Dustin his heart was breaking for when he didn’t find a pulse, as he desperately tried to keep Eddie’s heart pumping with his own two hands. 

But he realized now—and honestly, deep down he’d sort-of known even then—that it wasn’t the full truth.

In those hopeless moments his heart had shattered for Dustin and for the boy laying all but lifeless under the press of his palms. A beautiful soul who still had so much to offer the world. Steve mourned the lost potential, had shed tears for everyone who had ever loved Eddie. And yes, cried for his own loss too, and everything about himself that he hadn’t realized was there until it was almost too late.

Somewhere between the near-apocalypse, the hospital, and his own ill-fated party the other night, Steve had fallen—hard.

It was a shocking realization, but also, somehow, not surprising at all.

Maybe he should have felt some type of way about the fact that Eddie was a boy and that meant Steve was probably not as straight as he’d always assumed—okay, it definitely meant that—but somehow that realization was less of a concern than that fact that it was Eddie he had these feelings for. 

Eddie, who’d hated him less than twenty-four hours ago. 

Eddie, who had enough to deal with right now. 

Eddie needed a friend, not someone desperately crushing on him. He had so much on his plate already, and certainly didn’t need the added burden of Steve who was notoriously too clingy, too needy, just plain too much when he was in a relationship.

Relationship. 

Steve actually scoffed out loud at himself for the thought. As if Eddie would even be interested in him like that. It was ridiculous. They were polar opposites.

It would never work.

And yet, a part of him still thought they might just be perfect for each other.

Or maybe it would ruin everything.

He slipped out of bed and quietly tiptoed to the bathroom, splashing a bit of cold water on his face, deciding ultimately—after a brief panic at the thought of coming clean about it—that his little epiphany didn’t have to change anything. 

No one had to know. 

He could handle it. It would be no different than the months he’d spent pining after Nancy when they broke up, and eventually, just like with her, he’d get over it. They’d be friends and it would be fine, because that’s what Eddie needed right now.

A muffled bang and wordless shout sounded out somewhere in the house. It must have been pretty loud, or at least close by for Steve to have heard it from all the way up here. He stuck his head out the bathroom door, planning to sprint to his room for his bat before searching the house, until it happened again. A voice, coming from Eddie’s room, repeated heartbreaking cries of Dustin’s name.

Steve lunged for the door, hoping it wasn’t locked. 

It wasn’t, to his relief, and he rushed inside, stomach dropping at the sight of Eddie screaming and crying, thrashing around violently in his bed. 

A nightmare, it had to be. Steve had never really seen it from the other side before. Robin slept over from time to time, and she’d been struggling with insomnia off and on since her first foray into the dark side of Hawkins, but when she did manage sleep it was generally a peaceful affair. 

Lucky her. 

Or maybe not, because watching Eddie go through this now was frightening, and Steve knew Robin had seen him in a similar state more than once. 

He approached the bed, sitting on the edge of it as he took Eddie gently by the shoulders, shaking him lightly, hoping not to scare the guy any worse than he already was.

“Eddie?” Steve said softly. Then a little louder, “Eddie? Can you hear me?” 

Eddie’s eyes flew open and with a rough gasp he sucked air into his lungs like a swimmer who’d finally reached the surface of deep waters.

“It was just a nightmare.” Steve spoke calmly, trying to soothe though the sight of Eddie in such distress made him want to cry too. Without thinking he released his hold on Eddie’s shoulders and instead reached out to gently cup his damp cheek. “You’re okay, I’ve got you. Dustin is fine, everyone is fine.”

For a second Eddie only stared up at him, chest heaving and lips parted, but then he nodded, making his warm cheek press into Steve’s hand a little more and he realized what he’d done—how close they were.

He tried to pull away, put some distance between them. Barely an hour into admitting his feelings to himself and he’d already overstepped. 

It was time to go.

He’d done his part, he’d woken Eddie up and—

Suddenly Eddie’s hand shot out, twisting into Steve’s shirt with a grip like a vice, tugging him back.

“Stay?” Eddie begged, voice cracking as he forced the words out. “Just for a little while. Please?”

It was a bad idea.

The worst.

“Scoot over,” Steve breathed, crawling into the bed and under the covers Eddie lifted for him in invitation, his stomach doing somersaults as he became enveloped in Eddie’s warmth, now shared between them as they settled together beneath the heavy blankets on their sides, facing each other. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really. It was…” 

Steve vividly remembered how jarring his nightmares had been in the months after he’d faced down that first demogorgon with Nancy and Jonathan, and worse still after the demodogs and the tunnels, when his evening terrors began to feature four little guest stars in mortal peril. Again without thought for the consequences he slid his hand along the sheets until it found Eddie’s, holding it tight, giving whatever comfort he could. “I know.”

Steve didn’t mean to fall asleep. He hadn’t planned to stay all night, just until Eddie felt better enough to be alone, or maybe until Eddie himself fell asleep, but being cozied up surrounded with the other boy’s scent, with their fingers still laced and their conversation tapering off, it was all too easy to let go and drift away.

Had that been it, it would have been manageable. 

With a bit of distance, a bit of time, Steve might have been able to guard his heart better, keep his feelings from growing to the point that he was fit to burst with them. But as it was, night after night he found himself in Eddie’s bed, comforting him as he came down from yet another nightmare, where they inevitably fell asleep together to wake in the morning with arms thrown over waists, and legs tangled.

Neither of them ever acknowledged it, and it was threatening Steve’s ever dwindling sanity.

It took less than a week for him to break and tell Robin what was going on in his head. He’d been unusually quiet during their daily check-ins, typically letting her steer the conversation towards school, or the kids, or Vickie, and he suspected she already knew something was up.

“Ahoy, sailor!” She announced loudly through the receiver, answering on the first ring. 

Steve could picture her laying on her bed, phone pressed to her ear with one hand, giving her ceiling a mocking salute with the other. It made him smile despite himself. “What if it was someone else calling you?” 

“Meh, it’s not the weirdest way I could answer the phone.” There was a rustle over the line as though she were adjusting her position. “How's it going? How’s Eddie today?”

“He’s…” Steve trailed off, swallowing to soothe his suddenly dry throat. He’d fled for the downstairs only seconds ago after happening upon Eddie as he was coming out of the bathroom after a shower, wearing nothing but a towel slung low around his waist. It left his scars on full display, but to Steve they only enhanced the view and served as a physical reminder that Eddie had survived.

“He’s doing really well.”

“Oh good!”

“Yeah,” he sighed out, the sound overly dramatic even to his own ears.

“Is that… not a good thing, Steve?”

“I have to tell you something,” he rushed out before he could change his mind.

“What do you—” Robin gasped loudly. “Oh—Oh! Oh my god, really? Are we finally doing this?”

He groaned, ”Robin—”

“Sorry, sorry, I'll let you tell me.” She took a deep breath, as though she were the one about to confess a secret. Not that it was exactly a secret, apparently. “Go ahead.”

“I think I’m in love with Eddie”

Her sudden silence was deafening.

“Are you still there?” Steve asked.

She huffed, “I hate you right now.”

“What did I do?!”

“Leave it to you to blow right past the crisis part of your bisexual awakening, skip the crush, and fall head over heels for the first boy who made you think twice!”

“You told me to!” He nearly shouted, cursing himself as he pulled the receiver away from his ear, listening for footsteps in case Eddie came to see what was going on.

Thankfully, he heard nothing.

“Nope, no you do not get to blame this one on me,” she was saying as he tuned back in. “I was merely a witness. An innocent bystander. I just wanted you to admit you thought he was cute! I knew you had a thing for him or something, but Steve—”

“I know,” he whispered into the phone with his hands cupped around it, still paranoid of being overheard, but he couldn’t help the smile that stretched over his face. It just felt so good to have finally said it out loud. “I don’t even know when it happened. I feel… I like him so much it makes me feel crazy sometimes.”

“Well, don’t leave me hanging, what did he say?” She asked, plowing ahead as usual without letting him actually answer. “I can’t believe you got a boyfriend before I’ve even had the chance to hold hands with a girl. You just had to one up—”

Steve cut her off. “What makes you so sure he’s, y’know.”

“Seriously, Steve? He's kinda obvious. Wait, are you telling me he turned you down?”

“I haven’t told him.”

“What do you mean you haven't told him?!” She screeched.

“I can’t, for so many reasons. I just can’t.”

She let out a disgusted puff of air. “Explain it to me.”

“Rob—”

“No!” She interrupted. “I’m not letting you off the hook that easily. Is this some self-loathing sacrificial crap, or do you really have a reason?“

“It’s–it’s not the time. He’s got enough to deal with right now, he doesn’t need this too.”

“You know you’re not a burden, right? That loving you, and being loved by you isn’t a chore?”

Steve wanted to believe her, really he did, but it couldn’t be true. 

He knew Robin loved him, she’d proven it time and time again, but she was the only one who’d ever stayed. Nancy said she loved him, then turned around and called it all bullshit before running straight into Jonathan’s arms. Even his parents had left. And yes, he’d chosen to stay behind but he’d seen the subtle look of relief on his fathers face when he’d told them he wasn’t moving with them. He could remember all too well how many days he’d come home from school to an empty house as a kid. How many nights he’d slept in his parents' bed just to feel close to them when they both went away on his father’s business trips. 

Robin was the exception to the rule. 

He must have been quiet for too long, and she spoke again. “Anyone would be lucky to have you, and I know it’s scary but I think you should tell him. He might feel the same way. Whatever reasons you think you have, isn’t it worth the risk for a chance to be happy?”

“I’ll think about it,” he conceded, if only to shut her up for now.

“Good,” she said, the relief in her voice making him feel guilty for lying about his intentions. “Are you sure you don’t need to have a gay crisis with me?”

“Pretty sure.” Steve chuckled softly. “I guess I’ve always found some guys attractive. I thought it was like, objectively? But I guess not. There’s just something about Eddie, how he makes me feel. I don’t care that he’s a guy, or that having feelings for him makes me less than straight. It doesn’t matter to me. It doesn’t change the way I feel, or what I want.” 

When Eddie asked to come shopping with him, Steve had worried about what It might do to his progress if people reacted badly to seeing him out and about. 

On the flip side, they’d been happily living in their own private world here, and maybe Steve was being dramatic again, and more than a bit selfish, but he felt like this little adventure to the grocery store could be the beginning of the end to that.   

It turned out, Eddie’s reaction wasn’t the one he should have been worried about. 

As they walked back into the house, arms laden with heavy bags, Steve couldn’t stop replaying the whole thing in his mind. He’d wanted to beat the shit out of Andy for talking about Eddie like that, for looking at him like that. Had Eddie not stepped in and stopped him, he would have done it too, right there in the middle of the aisle without a single doubt.

And as they set the bags on the counter and began to unpack their groceries, Steve also couldn’t seem to stop staring.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” Eddie said after a while.

“Sorry.” Steve felt his cheeks begin to burn. He moved away to hide it, shoving a few things into the refrigerator. He was usually under more control than this, but nearly getting in a fight to defend your crush’s honor had a way of exposing your nerves.

“Hey,” Eddie said when he turned back, trying to catch his eye. Steve tried to resist but as usual he fell right into the twin traps that were those big brown eyes. 

“I'm okay, I promise,” Eddie went on. “I'm not gonna go off the deep end or whatever you're worried about, ok? Screw that asshole and everyone who agrees with him. We know the truth, and that’s all that matters.” 

At least he didn’t seem to understand what exactly Steve was struggling with at the moment. “Sorry. You’re right,” he said, playing it off. “You did great. I'm the one who lost it. I just—I hate that anyone thinks that way about you.” It was the absolute truth, the only one he could offer right then.

“Steve—” Eddie hesitated, worrying at his bottom lip. “Why, and I swear I'm not being a dick this time, but, why are you doing all this for me? Why do you care?”

“Eddie…”

Those words, that question and the sincere look on Eddie’s face was all it took for Steve’s resolve to crumble. He couldn’t let Eddie walk around on this planet for one more second without knowing how much he really cared, how much Eddie meant to him.  

The thing was, over the last few days whenever the feelings hiding just beneath the surface of his skin became too much, when he couldn’t stop himself from gazing longingly at Eddie, sometimes he caught Eddie looking back. 

And it made him wonder.

“I care because it’s you,” Steve began, trying hard to put all of it into words. “Because you’re one of us. Because you’re my friend. Because…” With a shaky breath, he stepped forward, closing the distance between them. Eddie stood there, frozen but not moving away even when their feet touched and Steve took the can he was holding out of his hand and set it on the counter. 

This close up he could see the fan of Eddie’s dark, full lashes, the brush of color sweeping across his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, the dip of the cupid’s bow above his top lip. 

“Because…” Steve’s words failed him, as they so often did, and he only knew one other way to convey everything he felt. As he leaned in, pressing his body against the length of Eddie’s, he prayed he hadn’t imagined it, that all the mornings they’d woken up in each other’s arms had meant something to Eddie too. 

A soft press of lips. 

The hint of stubble scratching at his chin. 

The taste of coffee and cigarettes. 

It was far from Steve’s first kiss, but for the first time he got what people meant when they talked about feeling sparks fly. He’d told Dustin once to go for it when you feel the electricity. Honestly, he’d thought it was just a metaphor, but now with his mouth on Eddie’s and every nerve ending in his body on fire, he finally understood. 

When it’s right, it feels like nothing else. 

For a moment he was on cloud nine, but it was with a slow dawning horror that he realized Eddie was frozen beneath his touch. That he wasn’t kissing back. 

Steve jerked away, stepping back with his hands raised near his shoulders. “I-I’m so sorry. I thought—”

Eddie was still unmoving and silent, his face paler than Steve had ever seen.

“Oh god. Eddie, I’m—”

Without a word Eddie turned and ran, his footsteps pounding up the staircase all the way to his room. 

A door slammed in the distance.

Steve sank to the floor on numb legs, his back leaning against the cabinet the only thing keeping him upright.

He knew this would happen. 

It was the whole reason he hadn’t said anything, and now he’d gone and fucked everything up. Eddie was probably packing his things right now, desperate to get away from him. 

Steve pulled his knees to his chest, hugging them tight as he hid his face. 

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there, wallowing, wishing he had the courage to get up, or at least run away himself and hide until Eddie was gone. 

How could he have been so stupid. 

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

“You're not stupid.”

Steve sucked in a breath as Eddie’s voice washed over him. He didn’t dare move his head to see but felt it as the other boy sat down next to him on the floor, resting a hand on his elbow.

“Would you look at me, please, Steve?” Eddie said softly when he didn’t react.

Reluctantly, Steve did. “Are you mad?” 

Eddie scrunched his face like he was in pain. “Of course not.”

Steve shook his head. “You’re clearly not happy about it.”

“You surprised me, is all.”

“Not the good kind of surprise then, huh?”

“I just–I don’t understand,” Eddie said, letting go of Steve's arm to rake his hands through his mass of curls. “I thought you were straight?”

Steve snorted, looking away. “Apparently not, or so I’ve realized.”

“Right.” 

There was a soft thunk to Steve’s left as if Eddie had banged his head back into the cabinets. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn't have…” Steve shook his head again. He wanted to cry. He wanted to scream. He wanted to go back in time and take it all back. “I get it, If you hate me now.”

“Steve, how could you even think that?” Eddie asked incredulously, as though the idea were shocking.

Steve rolled his head back to look at him, raising both eyebrows. 

“Okay, that’s fair.” Eddie grimaced. “I’m sorry, I shouldn't have walked away from you like that. I just needed a minute to think.”

“And what–uh, w-what do you think?” 

“Steve, I’m—” Eddie dropped his eyes to his lap, rubbing his hands together and fiddling with the rings there. “Flattered, which is the understatement of the century. You are one of the best people I know. I feel so incredibly lucky to have you as a friend after everything, but I… I can’t do this.” Eddie raised his head, holding Steve's gaze as he went on. “And I need you to believe me when I say it has nothing to do with you, this is all me. Okay?”

Steve forced himself to smile and nod, hoping that it would hide the fact that he was dying inside. Eddie could say whatever he wanted to, but Steve knew better. Whenever someone said—It’s not you, it’s me—that was almost never the case. “Sure, y-yeah. I get it. No–no problem.”

The act must have been convincing enough, or maybe Eddie was being kind. He returned Steve’s smile and rose, extending a hand to help him up.

It was awkward then, moving around each other, finishing the process of putting all the food they’d gotten away, out of step in a way they’d never been before. It had Steve itching all over again with the need to escape, to hide in his room and maybe call Robin to cry about it, but he was determined not to make things any weirder than he already had.

“Do you think the kids would want to come over tonight?” Eddie asked as they were finishing up. “I feel like it’s time for me to try and make up for ruining their party.”

A few hours ago Steve would have asked Eddie if he was ready for that, but if today had proved anything it was that he was doing just fine. This could be the best thing for them now anyway. A buffer, a distraction, something to focus on instead of his own horrible lapse in judgment.

“Yeah, they’d love that,” Steve answered with a touch more enthusiasm than he felt. “You should call Dustin. He’d be happy to hear from you and I'm sure he’d take care of getting the rest on board.”

Eddie nodded, moving to grab the phone off the wall.

“What about Robin?” Steve asked before he could dial, quickly adding, “we don’t have to have all the older group over, just her.”

Eddie shot a grin at him over his shoulder. It felt like a knife in his chest. “Sure, big boy. It’s your house. I guess I probably owe Buckley a bit of an apology too, huh?”

The name, which before made butterflies take flight in Steve’s stomach, now only made it turn sour. 

How was he ever going to get over this? 

At least he’d have Robin to console him tonight, once he could get her alone and tell her what an idiot he’d been. 

Thanks and love to @penny00dreadful and @pearynice for all your help and encouragement with this!

Permanent taglist(open): @penny00dreadful @pearynice @hitlikehammers @bookworm0690 @wonderland-girl143-blog 

@goodolefashionedloverboi @themagicalari @awkwardgravity1 @rocknrollsalad

Fic taglist (open): @sidebarre

[cairavende]

Worm Arc 20 thoughts:

I legit have restarted this post at least 10 times. I just. I can't even figure out what to say. What an arc. Holy fucking shit what an arc.

The last vestiges of Taylor's civilian life are swept away in one smooth motion.

I could have read another 5 chapters of Emma getting her shit handed to her though.

I've been waiting for something to come back and bite that girl since Arc 1. So I'm just riding high off of that.

Taylor getting all upset because it isn't real justice is silly though. Girl you've been fighting a broken system from day 1 and you have been doing that by breaking the rules. This is just the same thing.

Also god dammit Greg. Just had to go and run your mouth.

I mean sure Taylor could have possibly solved this issue without going to school herself.

And she could have just not gone to the office with Emma.

But blaming Greg is easier and more fun. God dammit Greg.

I had to lose my mind a bit at Taylor talking about how there was no gang graffiti on the school walls TEN SECONDS AFTER WALKING PAST GRAFFITI FOR THE UNDERSIDERS. Like, that's gang graffiti hon!

Dennis trying to help Taylor with Greg when he didn't know who either of them are is funny. Dennis seeing Taylor named as Skitter 15 minutes later is HYSTERICAL!!

The second Taylor was entered into the computer system it was pretty obvious that Dragon was going to show up, given what she said in her interlude in Arc 10.

And knowing she was going to show up it should have been obvious that HE was also going to show up.

Even if he wasn't palling around with my robot daughter it makes so much narrative sense for him to be there when she is outed. Full story arc, all that jazz.

And yet, I still wasn't quite expecting it. Cause I hate that man so much that I just had to make myself believe he wouldn't show up.

Mother fucking Colin

RoboCape himself

He has the nerve to show up and then he starts APOLOGIZING? And it appears to be sincere? Fucking dammit man you were so easy to hate for so long! Why you gotta mess with me like this?

STOP DOING THE RIGHT THING AND LET ME HATE YOU GOD DAMMIT!

siiiigh

And then of course we have to talk about Dragon.

Dragon who didn't want to do this but had to.

Except that Colin had a code push ready and she could have told him to do it at anytime. But she was willing to do what she thought was wrong instead of doing the update. Until she got inspired by Taylor's actions.

I love my robot daughter exactly as much as my bug daughter, but I am disappointed that she was almost willing to go through with everything. Happy she fought back though.

And if Colin's hacked together code did any permanent damage I'll destroy the man.

Taylor learning that Dinah - either by force or by choice - gave the PRT numbers to let them know to come after her at the school was heartbreaking to watch. She just wasn't ready for it at all, poor child.

AND TAYLOR'S SPEECH THOUGH!

HOLY SHIT!!!

Sort and simple and she fucking rallies the students to her. Against the heroes!

Gotta be one of the best moments in Worm for sure. Even if every Arc after this is a banger that's still gonna be a hard moment to top.

AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

And someone gives her a hoodie to help her hide and just aaaahhhh!

AND THEN AFTER THEY GOT AWAY AND ALL THE STUDENTS WERE LIKE "You saved my dad" "You stopped Leviathan at the shelter" "You fought off the SH9" AND SHE WAS JUST OVERWHELMED BY IT ALL?

HOLY FUCK JUST AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also for real though Dragon is free. Like sure it's taking her some time to recover and she can't talk right now (which like I get it, we all have non-verbal episodes sometimes), but as long as nothing goes wrong she is free. I'm so fucking happy for her.

But also I'm terrified cause I know what happens to full AI's with free will in most things. Worm is very different from most things. But I'm still worried about my robot daughter.

Also I never cared much for Danny but obviously it still sucks to be him here. The scene with Taylor saying goodbye with the butterfly was emotional.

Oh oh and! Taylor talks about the butterfly being her "last contact" with her Dad. Very much bug as an extension of self. It's a shift she's been making.

Even more so there's a point where she is trying to get out of the school and she gets to the door and has a bug clone on the other side and says "my hand pressing against my own, separated by an inch and a half of door". Like, the bug clone hand is just her hand. I fucking love the shift compared to how she talked about the bugs early on.

Oh and also Greg totally has like, a Thinker 1 power or something. Pretty sure I mentioned that last arc with his interlude but mentioning it again now to be sure.

Stan interlude thoughts:

Oh my god I hate this man I can't stand him I hated him from the 3rd sentence of the chapter and I was always right to do so!

Seriously. 3rd sentence (or maybe 3rd paragraph which is technically the 3rd, 4th, and 5th sentences I guess). I read it and went "fuck off Stan you're clearly a pretentious dick" and then every few sentences it just became more confirmed!

Just the ways he talks about Nipper. Like. I can rephrase what he says to say the exact same thing except not being a asshole when saying it! Instead of "She was weak and unsuited for the field but she at least tried" just say "She was a hard worker despite being assigned to a job she did not ask for"! It's so fucking easy dude!

Anyway Stan is a jerk.

I loved the way this interlude rolled through different people all watching the same news report. It was a really good way to cover this major story event and let us see how so many other characters were reacting to it.

Also I'm sure all those Slaughterhouse Nine clones aren't going to be an issue later right? Or the fact that there is specifically only one clone of Gray Boy instead of 10 like everyone else? I'm sure that's fiiiiine.

Accord interlude thoughts:

Oh. Oh my. Uhhh. Is it hot in here all of the sudden? Anyone else feel that? No? Just me?

sweats

Oh ok Citrine definitely feels what I'm feeling. She knows what's up.

Just like. Look. Accord is bad ok. Not just cause he's a villain but clearly he'll kill for the smallest cause. And he's in a spot to fuck with my daughter and her polycule so like. Yes. He's bad. I do not like him. I want him to leave. I don't think they should work with him . . .

but . . .

OH MY FUCKING GOD HOLY SHIT PLEASE ACCORD I LOOK GREAT IN PURPLE AND I LOVE DRESSING FANCY AND I'M VERY GOOD AT BEING PROPER I WON'T MESS UP AT ALL I'LL BE THE PERFECT MINION PLEASE!

. . .

cough

Soooo anyway. How about that Butcher huh? That sure is a wild power. Instantly made me think of Glaistig Uaine's power. Very different but reaches into that same base bit, the idea that some part of a dead parahuman can be held onto.

Also holy shit Skitter was so badass in this scene I loved it.

Holy shit Accord is with Cauldron. Or at least closely aligned. And like of course he is it makes so much sense. He's too useful for them to ignore.

I am really curious to see what Accord's power does when he's confronted with a really complex problem. End of the world, doors to another dimension, higher dimensional beings, all that jazz.

[ladykailitha]

Can Anybody See Me? Part 20

Ah yes, the satisfaction of seeing the build up of several chapters get paid off. *cackles in evil author*

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16  Part 17 Part 18  Part 19  

***

The next day’s performance went off without a hitch and Steve was really getting into the thrill of being on stage. He loved performing in front of the kids as they laughed at the antics of Jefferson, Adams, and Franklin. He went full bitch every time Thomson was interrupted and the kids ate it up.

He was still struggling with General Washington line but Miss Lucy didn’t comment on it anymore so he figured he had at least done enough to make her stop.

Wednesday was the last performance in front of the kiddos and then that night would be their first full show. The auditorium was darkened and the spotlight was on Steve and instead of staying in the spot he took a half step forward, casting him half in light and half in shadows as he spoke his lines.

Behind him he could hear the sound of rushing water crashing into the stage. Had he not taken those steps forward he would have been drenched, ruining the costume and wig completely. As it was the only thing that got wet was his hose.

It took everything in Steve’s power not to turn around. Not to stop the scene. The kid playing Adams hissing to keep going. They would sort it out after. Steve began to shake as he finished his part of the scene and walked out. Vince was careful of the water on stage and thankful that his shoes had heels to keep his feet mostly dry.

They paused between scenes for the stage crew to clean up the mess, with Janice backstage trying to calm Steve down. Miss Lucy was livid. She explained to the kids that a water main broke and that the show would continue after a ten minute interlude. Then she interrogated every stage crew person not cleaning up the mess. Because it could have only been someone from crew that could have set it up.

The show went on and they were able to finish their performance without further mishap. Steve finished with only the barest tremor to his voice. His hands still shook, but these were kids. They didn’t know what had happened. Not really. But they had a cute little story to tell their parents that night.

*

An hour before their first nightly show, Janice came running up to Steve. He was getting into costume, thankful his tights had dried out in time.

“You’re never going to believe this!” she cried, gripping his arm tight.

“What? What’s going on?” Steve asked.

“They found it who sabotaged the set today!” Janice said, shaking his arm.

Eddie and Marty who had been talking to some of the other stage crew came over, too.

“I am so livid,” Marty said. “I can’t believe that toad got Ollie and Mindy to do his bidding.”

Steve frowned. “Mindy? As in Mindy Jones?”

Marty nodded. “She’s one of our best lighting riggers. She’s small and agile enough to get in and get out quickly.”

“Dude, she fucking hates me,” Steve explained. “We were in Pottery class together and resented me coming into the class after the semester started when I was forced to quit basketball and baseball due to my concussions.”

Eddie swore. “And Ollie is that baseball kid that knocked into Steve a couple weeks back. Called him all sorts of slurs.”

Janice’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit. That’s how Kyle got to them. They already hated Steve. I thought he’d paid them. But he probably didn’t have to, they were more than willing to do it without payment.”

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Kyle? Kyle Carver? He’s behind the water trap?”

Janice nodded. “He got them to rig the trap to fall during the ‘Is Anybody There?’ sequence because it would just be Steve and Vince and Vince would be far enough away that he wouldn’t get hit.”

“Okay, but why?”

Eddie pursed his lips. “He had been secretly working with Mrs Thompson, Tammy’s mom to get his own costume and wig. Once yours were ruined and you likely sick from being doused with water, he would step in and take your place as Charles Thomson.”

Steve sat down hard. “Holy shit.”

“Yeah,” Janice agreed. “Miss Lucy is pissed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this angry before. She’s calling for them to be expelled.”

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Shit.”

“They could have seriously hurt you,” Marty said. “This isn’t just some prank. If the bucket had fallen, you could have gotten another concussion.”

Steve nodded. “I knew he was pissed that I got the role over him, but I never thought he’d go this far.”

“Yeah,” Janice agreed. “According to Mrs Thompson she thought he just wanted a costume for some party his dad was throwing.”

“Or so she says,” Eddie said darkly.

Marty nodded. “Yeah, I think she’s only saying that because the cops were throwing around words like conspiracy and attempted assault.”

Steve’s eyes went wide. “Holy shit.”

“I think you’ve got a friend in the HPD,” Eddie said. “They wanted much stronger charges.”

Steve blushed. “Something like that.”

*

Steve looked out in the audience as he waited for the lights to go down and the curtain to go up. He smiled when he saw all his kids in the first two rows. Dustin, El, Lucas and Erica, Mike and Will in the first row. With Jonathan and Nancy and all their parents on the second.

He continued to look for his parents. He had told him about it and his mother ensured him that they would be here.

He didn’t see them. But he still had two more nights. It was fine. He went out there and killed it.

Dustin came running up to him afterwards, screaming and jumping up and down.

“Holy shit, dude!” he cried, the rest of them following at a regular pace. “Where did you learn to do that? You were incredible!”

Steve blushed but gave him huge hug. Soon he was being bombarding with compliments and hugs. Everyone telling him about how well he did and how good the show was.

“We’re all going out for ice cream!” Erica said. “You are coming with us, right...?”

Steve nodded. “Of course. Everyone deserves ice cream to celebrate how awesome I am.” He winked at her and she rolled her eyes.

“You’re coming with Dad and me,” El said excitedly. “We’ll drop you back off here to get your car after we’re done.”

Steve agreed. “Sounds great. I just need to say goodbye to my friends and I’ll be right back.”

They all nodded and chatted among themselves as they waited.

Steve went back to where his friends were waiting for him.

“Hey, guys,” he greeted. “They want to take me out for ice cream in celebration, so I’ll catch you guys tomorrow, okay?”

Janice and Marty nodded, but Eddie caught his shoulder. “You want me to wait for you by your car in case Kyle tries something else?”

Steve felt a cold chill in the pit of his stomach. He hadn’t thought of that. So he nodded. “Yeah. I’d like that. I mean, Chief Hopper will be dropping me off, but they could still do something to my car while I’m gone.”

Eddie nodded. “I’ll keep an eye on it. I promise.”

Steve squeezed his hand and then waved goodbye to everyone.

*

“I didn’t know you knew the Munson boy,” Hopper said when Steve slid into the cab of his truck.

Steve rolled his eyes. “Do you want the legal answer or the illegal one?”

Hopper sputtered as El giggled.

“The legal one, please,” Hopper said after a moment. “I really don’t want to hear about the other one. For my sanity.”

Steve chuckled. “After Billy Hargrove bashed my head in with a plate, Eddie helped me get to the nurse’s station when I started throwing up in fifth period and we became friends after that.”

Hopper sighed. “Yeah, all right.”

“Plus,” Steve continued, “he’s protected me from Billy and his friends wanting to make an example of me to the school that Hargrove is the new top dog.”

“Well shiiiioooot,” he said, El looking up at him with her wide brown eyes.

Steve huffed out a laugh. “So, yeah. If it wasn’t for Eddie and his friends my senior year would have been hell. But as it is, they got me to try out for the play, they invited me over for Christmas so I wasn’t by myself. I’ve had movie nights with them. They’re good people.”

Hopper sighed again. “You’ve made your point.”

Steve smiled brightly. He briefly thought about telling them about Eddie and his relationship. But he wasn’t sure how they would react to that. Plus he liked keeping it private. Just something soft between them. Yes a handful of people already knew, but Steve knew they wouldn’t tell anyone without talking to Eddie or him first.

Steve had a blast at the ice cream parlor. He laughed and swapped stories with everyone. Just enjoying celebrating with some of his closest friends.

After Hopped dropped him back off at his car, Hopper walked him to it. “I just wanted to let you know that there probably won’t be a lot that happens to those kids legally. The ones that tried to prank you earlier today.”

Steve sighed. “I figured. Maybe if my dad was interested in more than chasing the latest skirt and actual cared about me, there might be something done, but right now Kyle Carver’s got the better lawyers.”

Hopper nodded. “Sad, but true. I’ll keep putting pressure on the mayor and other key politicians and see if we can’t get them at least expelled for their little stunt.”

Steve nodded. “Thanks. It’s something. Which is a hell of a lot better than nothing.”

Hopper gave Steve’s shoulder a squeeze and then walked back to his truck. Steve shook his head. He turned around to see Eddie eyeing him warily.

“Like, I know you said that Chief Hopper was dropping you off,” Eddie said, “but it’s one thing to hear it and another to see it.”

Steve shrugged. “You remember my comic?”

“Yeah, sure,” he replied with a shrug.

“Let’s just say that Chief Hopper and his daughter are involved, too. So I got to know them both.”  

Eddie nodded skeptically, running his tongue over his teeth. “And that would be why you were able to use their story for your comic for art class?”

“Oh yeah,” Steve said. He got close to Eddie, so close they were practically sharing the same breath. “And he tried to warn me off you. I told him that I am who I am now...which in case you need me to spell it out for you, is happier and healthier than I have been in years, is because of you. Because of our friends. Because you make me happy.”

Eddie blinked and blushed, pursing his lips. “Yeah?”

“Yes, you absolute menace,” Steve teased. “I love you.”

“Did you–” Eddie asked, suddenly worried.

Steve shook his head. “Not without talking to you first, sunshine.”

Eddie relaxed. “Let’s get you home, darlin’.”

Steve looked around and then planted a large kiss on his lips.

Eddie melted into it, pulling Steve flush against his chest. “I love you, too.”

***

Part 21

Tag List: @shrimply-a-menace @strangersteddierthings @throwbackthrowaway @novelnovella @cursedfoxteeth @babyblender @garden-of-gay @anaibis @lifeisnotsobadonceyoustopcaring @swimmingbirdrunningrock @steve-the-hairrington @winterbuckwild @spectrum-spectre @matchingbatbites   @thing-a-ling @fandemonium-takes-its-toll @artiststarme @sundead  @nelotegreitic @gregre369 @butterflysandpeppermint @thedragonsaunt @kodaik97 @messrs-weasley @scarletzgo @deadlydodos @renaissan-vvitch @evix-syne666 @emly03 @justforthedead89 @ashwinmeird @huniibee @phantypurple @stevesbipanic @shucks-yuckyuck @lovelyscot @awkwardgravity1 @bookbinderbitch @reportinglivefromsoda @jinxjinn @chasinggeese @be-the-spark-bitch @kohlraedirectioner @cr0w-culture @xjessicafaithx @whimsicalwitchm @jaywhohasthegay @estrellami-1 @dangdirtydemons @howincrediblysapphicofyou @the-redthread 

[wild-flowerhoney]

multi-fandom masterlist

fandoms and ships:

the rings of power: elrond/galadriel, elrond/halbrand

marauders: gen, regulus/lily, regulus/remus

pjo hoo toa: percy/nico

the rings of power

- AO3 pseud: as-summer -

• COMPLETED WORKS

bitter wine - one shot, rated mature, galadriel has always known elrond will make a fine husband some day, it's just hard to accept that his wife won't be her, hard to accept the idea of losing him to another, pre-series, not canon compliant, implied sexual content, hopeful ending.

the missing pieces series - a bunch of short stories taking place in canon and expanding/exploring various scenes.

3. scorched earth - one shot, rated gen, beginning of s2, after that meeting in círdan's workshop galadriel tries once more to get through to elrond, pining, emotional hurt, possibly unrequited love, friendship.

1. glimpsing light - one shot, rated gen, elrondriel week 2024, day four: outsider pov, elendil discovers something new about galadriel and his ancestor's brother in 1x03, fluff, missing scene.

2. out of sight - one shot, rated gen, takes place in 1x08/2x01, sauron takes elrond's form to trick galadriel, pining, possibly unrequited love, manipulation.

4. gaps of sunlight - one shot, rated gen, companion to glints of moonlight, 2x07 kiss scene romantic rewrite from galadriel's pov, the golden light in lindon is very different from the lifeless shine in adar's refuge but elrond's presence makes it just as beautiful, pining, possibly unrequited love, love and friendship mixing into each other.

5. glints of moonlight - one shot, rated gen, companion to gaps of sunlight, 2x07 kiss scene romantic rewrite from elrond's pov, the dim light in adar's refuge cannot compare to the moonlight in lindon but not even the shadows can ever hide galadriel's light from him, mutual pining, requited love, love and friendship and the ways they're one and the same.

6. of the heart - one shot, rated gen, post 2x08 galadriel and elrond meet in the woods to talk, disapproving dad gil-galad, pining, possibly unrequited love, unresolved romantic tension.

pulvis et umbra - one shot, rated teen, a discussion with a mortal man makes galadriel think of her feelings for elrond and what they mean in regards to her and her marriage to celeborn, post 2x07, pining, unresolved romantic tension, love and friendship.

canto v series - elrond and galadriel, giving in to something that shouldn't be. and all that comes after. somewhat inspired by the retelling of Paolo and Francesca's affair.

1. unto one death - one shot, rated explicit, galadriel gives in to her feelings for elrond who was once her ward, infidelity, mutual pining, forest sex.

2. who reason subjugate - one shot, rated explicit, elrond pov after their sort of marriage, thoughts and feelings about being peredhel, infidelity, secret relationship, smut.

the rising of the tide - two chapters, rated gen, 2x07 rewrite, the negotiation with adar ends with elrond in chain besides galadriel, mutual pining, not canon compliant, friendship and love.

at the end of all things series - my works for elrondriel week 2024, all about their doomed relationship and them making the best of their time together.

3. breathing space - one shot, rated gen, day three: nenya, elrond and galadriel in the middle of their fight during the trip to eregion in 2x04, established relationship, fluff and light angst.

1. an interlude - one shot, rated gen, day one: secret relationship, elrond and galadriel meet before her trip to the north in 1x01, pre-canon, established relationship

2. glimpsing light - one shot, rated gen, day four: outsider pov, elendil discovers something new about galadriel and his ancestor's brother in 1x03, fluff, missing scene.

4. by candlelight - one shot, rated gen, day two: prophecy/future, elrond and galadriel have one last night before their relationship must come to an end, post 2x08, break up, bittersweet ending.

• WIPS

wings of a butterfly - two chapters, rated teen, elrond is such a delight that the dark lord himself can't help but give up on his plans for him, eventual romance, pining, crack treated seriously.

as a binary star - three chapters, rated teen, stardust au, galadriel is pushed out of the sky and elrond takes the chance to finally explore the magical world beyond the wall, eventual romance, tenderness, strangers to friends to lovers.

marauders era

- AO3 pseud: rab-stars -

• COMPLETED WORKS

that which is holy - one shot, regulily, rated explicit, lily goes to meet regulus in the middle of the first war just before her marriage, infidelity, running away, mentioned horcrux hunt.

they'll think of me kindly (when they come for my things) - one shot, regulily, rated gen, regulus and lily and the future they'd wanted for themselves the night before lily leaves hogwarts, canon-compliant, secret relationship, break up.

what we do in the shadows - one shot, rated teen, wwdits/documentary death eaters au, regulus, evan, barty, snape and pettigrew living in grimmauld, crack treated seriously.

• WIPS

i'll stop the world (and melt with you) - one chapter, moonwater, rated gen, regulus runs away with sirius but it's remus and the lupin family that he truly feels he belongs with, eventual domestic fluff, idiots in love, light angst.

we ain't angry at you love (you're the greatest thing we've lost - five chapters, rated gen, rated teen, regulus runs away at his initiation and lives on the streets of muggle london, black family centric, heavy angst.

• COMING SOON

the sun will go out - sirius introspection after regulus' death, heavy angst, hurt no comfort.

pjo hoo toa

- AO3 pseud: cabin13 -

• COMPLETED WORKS

unreal unearth series - stand alone works whose themes/titles/ideas were inspired by hozier's unreal unearth album:

1. the first time that you kissed me (i drank dry the river lethe) - three chapters, rated gen, son of neptune au where percy develops feelings for nico in camp jupiter, angst with a happy ending.

2. heaven is not fit to house a love (like you and i) - three chapters, rated gen, post-canon, au where nico left after gaea and ends up at percy's after six years, angst, domestic fluff, happy ending.

3. carving through the dark (hold me like a knife) - three chapters, rated mature, for the 'unreal unearth' series, infidelity/cheating (not on each other), a percy and nico that can't seem to stop chasing after one another, deeply flawed characters all around.

only the sun - two chapters, rated gen, post-canon where nico reveals that he saw them question his loyalty from the jar, emotional hurt/comfort with hopeful ending.

when the sea rises to meet us (nothing left for you and i to do) - two chapters, rated gen, soulmates au where nico shouldn't be percy's soulmate but definitely is, angst, hopeful ending (possible series/more chapters in the future).

what love means series - five one-shots for the 12 days of percico/nicercy christmas. all fluff and very slight angst:

1. to put in the work - gen, aphrodite and percy discuss his blossoming relationship with nico.

2. to have a home - gen, percy and nico talking about their plans for christmas.

3. to be there for someone - gen, their relationship during the years in four phone calls.

4. to make the best of it - gen, a christmas gift mishap.

5. to give yourself to someone - teen, wedding day fluff.

i'd be home with you - one-shot, rated teen, attempt at humor, fluffy proposal fic.

on the mend - seven chapters, rated teen, follows married percico as they go through a rough spot, angst with a happy ending.

all that glitters is gold - two chapters, rated teen, the greatest fairy tale never told AKA shrek au. half-human/half sea monster percy embarks in a quest to rescue a prince from a tower with his satyr companion grover so that the lord of the land will give him his home back free of magical creatures.

growing into us series - all my fics for percy/nico fest week 2024, all about growing and healing and building relationships.

1. the soil and the sea - four chapters, rated gen, nico and percy getting together years after hoo, mutual pining, light angst, unrequited solangelo (from will), moving in together, domestic fluff.

2. gather the pieces - two chapters, raten gen, nico and percy fell in tartarus together au, dealing with the aftermath of akhlys and tartarus as a whole, not actually unrequited crush, healing and getting together.

• WIPS

3. taste divinity on your lips - one-shot, rated mature, nico becomes a god after his death, mourning and grief, worship, getting together, happy ending.

a thousand old graves - one-shot, rated gen, middle earth setting, percy coming to terms with what his boyfriend's immortality means, elf nico/human percy, established relationship, bittersweet ending.

the relinquishment of logic - two chapters, rated explicit, the haunting of hill house au, horror, mystery, major/minor character death, grief, cousin incest, eventual happy ending.

colored in love - three chapters, rated teen, buddy daddies au, assassins/hitmen percico accidentally adopt a child, found family, humor, angst/fluff, happy ending.

devotee - eight chapters, rated explicit, post-canon percy and nico as friends with benefits, pining, slight angst, past emotional cheating (light and not on each other).

inherent vice - four chapters, rated explicit, hunger games au, angst, minor character death, hunger games canon violence, grief, murder, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, district one nico and district twelve percy.

to the ends of the earth (would you follow me?) - three chapters, rated gen, percy and nico meet in the lotus casino, mix of show and book, slow burn, eventual romance, friends to lovers, inspired by @g0thnico's post.

what was holding up the ground (it was you all the way down) - one chapter, raten teen, percy struggling with his sexuality after years of being exposed to heteronormativity.

in the dark of sleep - four chapters, rated explicit, russian doll au, time loops, temporary character death, post-canon percy and nico keep dying and reliving percy's 21st birthday.

• COMING SOON

when the earth is trembling on some new beginning - sequel to "when the sea rises to meet us (nothing left for you and i to do)", shouldn't be soulmates but definitely are percico dealing with the fallout of their new relationship.

[trans-queen-administrator]

One year ago, give it take a few days, I started reading Worm. I finished it in a week. I don't think I'll ever read a story that affects me as much as Taylor's did, and since it's the anniversary of me reading Worm I think I might as well get sappy and emotional and write out how much Worm impacted me.

Tw: talking about suicide

I was in a terrible spot before Worm. Behind in every single class, failing to eat or drink or even just get out of bed for entire days, ghosting all of my friends and family just because I couldn't work up the will to talk, I just rotted in my dorm all day and let the tasks pile up higher and higher because I didn't know how to dig myself up, so I just gave up. I found Worm from some stupid meme that I saw while scrolling through social media for 13 hours a day in an attempt to drown out thoughts, and for reasons I still don't know I started to read it instead of returning to my blank inertia. I hadn't had the mental willpower to read or even feel anything in months, and it was completely out of character to immediately read it instead of just saying I'd do it later.

My sleep schedule was already fucked, once I got started it wasn't really a shock that I stayed up until like 5 am.

The week went by, I got to Leviathan, the Nine, Echidna, countless incredible interludes, and somewhere early on I think Worm became some sort of last hurrah. I'm not totally sure if I would have done it, but I had rough plans for methods of killing myself. Worm is a long work, impressively so, I was telling myself I'd finish it so I had something to be at least somewhat proud of before I went. It was a means of procrastination for the end since I didn't want to leave it unfinished, and also a road to it since once I was done reading then it would be time.

I became completely closed off from the world, even more than I had been previously. I dropped any pretenses of passing or attending class, what would the point be when I wouldn't be around for the grade? My meals became even less frequent, and when I had them it was always accompanied by reading. My sleep time was cut in half, I was waking up earlier and going to bed later all to read Worm. It was a week long fugue where I ceased to exist except for my ability to read the text. Once I was done reading, that would be it for me, and since I had closed myself off from pretty much everything there were no outside sources to convince me to change my mind. Just Worm. And it managed to do it.

Something about Taylor's absolutely insane amount of willpower just hit me hard. I remember when I read Speck and was reduced to a sobbing wreck for a day that was one of my strongest thoughts about her. She just tried so hard for everything, and absolutely never gave up as long as there was some way she could try to do something. I never learned how to put all my effort into stuff, but Taylor was inspiring enough that I wanted to at least try to learn how to try. It sounds cringey to write down, but if she could try so hard that she united all of humanity to kill an omnicidal god, then I could at the very least try to eat lunch.

Speaking of lunch, I read 90% of Speck in the corner of my college dining hall. It was like 4:00 and I was the only one there somehow, which is great because I was breaking down the entire time as I read Taylor fall apart. I don't think I'll ever read anything that hurt as much as Speck.

Another part of Taylor that was just as crucial to making me want to live was showing how much her self destructiveness hurt others. How could I justify killing myself when I just read how much it fucking tore at Taylor's friends when she became Khepri? When Lisa scrambled to just barely save Taylor from a suicide attempt in the first chapter of Gold Morning? Even when she just left them behind, Rachel's anguish was palpable, so who was I to ghost my friends because I was too scared to text anyone? I always knew on a logical level people would be sad if I died, but seeing such solid depictions of hurt from similar situations just... I dunno, I couldn't justify it when it was so much clearer to me how much it would hurt people I love.

I took a day to emotionally recover from the mental rewiring that comes from finishing Worm, and then I called my parents and told them how poorly I had been doing. I hadn't done it before because I didn't want to be a burden. They were happy to help. I dropped all my classes and went home. Worm stayed with me, it gave me some sort of substance to my life, something to latch on to. Making ideas for fanfics that I'd never write, talking with friends I'd made through Worm, rereading Speck if I needed a good cry, all of it kept me going and made my life feel less flat. Like five months later I started posting to this account and that was another outlet. It was just fun to analyze the text and make up theories about this work that did so much for me, and when I finally started posting them online that was good fun too. Thank y'all for reading my dinky little rambles, somehow I've cracked 400 followers on what was originally just a place for me to write down my thoughts during lunch hour at a mental hospital. Whenever I get a detailed comment in the notes, or I see someone like/reblog 20 of my posts in a row as they scroll through, or I see the names of people I always see in my notifications it just makes my day. Y'all are lovely.

And well, now it's been a year. Worm was supposed to be the final story I read, a countdown to the end in 1.7 million words, but it managed to convince me to keep going. I didn't think I'd make it to the next year or even the next month, but it's November again and I'm still here. I'm not doing great, but I'm here and I have Worm to thank for that.

[adhd-coyote]

Aaaaand we've got a double update for I Will Wait!!! Some Sithy stuff, and then some Spicy Stuff ;3

Chapter 5: Sithly Interlude - Part 2 Summary: Darth Sidious looks to the future and moves his pawns on the chess board. Content Warnings: Sithly Siths Being Sithly, Blood & Injury, Sith Mind Tricks, Sith Sorcery

Yes… that would be a nice plan. He would send Kenobi there - he had history with the Duchess, didn't he? He had history with Mandalore and Death Watch. More so than any other operative that might be available.

Chapter 6: It's Only Eight Days Summary: Fox, Cody, and Obi-Wan share a holo-call that gets a little spicy! Content Warnings: Dualsex Stewjoni, voyeurism, holo-call sex (sort of), D/S tones, praise kink, 'off-screen' vaginal fingering

“The locals offered us some extraordinary wine as thanks. We may have been indulging. Just a bit.” Cody snorted. “Just a bit?” “I’ll have you know, I am exactly as intoxicated as I want to be.”

[alexandia03]

Memento vivere

Okay so I just found out that people post links to their fics on AO3 here as well? Yeah, I hate to be late to the party so here is some shameless self-promoting because I am prouder of this fic than I am of my thesis.

How do you write this kind of stuff? Is there some sort of template anywhere? Fuck it, I'll just wing it.

For those of you who don't know me, hi, I am Lydia Alexandra and I am one of the first Imogen apologists and the president of Imrrick shippers in this fandom (self-appointed of course). What does this job entail, you might ask? Well, for starters, being absolutely obsessed with a side character that is basically you but with a dragon and writing 91,069 words about her and filling in some blanks the author left.

What is in this fic? Imrrick stuff. Trauma. Found family. Imrrick. Childhood friendships. Dragons. Imogen being obsessed with Garrick. Stupid decisions. Even more stupid decisions. Garrick being obsessed with Imogen. Grief, angst, young adults having the weight of the world on their shoulders. Them not admitting their feelings which leads to even more stupid decisions and... yeah, I should have named this Stupid decisions instead of Memento vivere.

No, but really now. I try to focus not only on Imogen and Garrick, but on the dynamic between them and their other friends as well. So far, mostly Xaden, but I have big plans for some scenes with Quinn and Bodhi because I live for this trio.

There are 9 chapters already, most of them in dire need of some editing, but that is a problem for future Lydia.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

And... yeah, I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but I sure know I love talking to you all, be it on Discord, in the comment section or here - not even joking, you always make my day, guys.

Now, because I don't like to leave people hanging quite like that, here are some of the fics I am absolutely obsessed with at the moment. Consider them homework:

Divine Fault Line

Mess it up

Anything ramzes writes with the marked ones. Pure addiction.

The Underpants Heist

An Interlude

Taglist: @yanny-77 @istarbel @sarahydeart

[kiwiana-writes]

Fic Writing Review 2023

Tagged by my fellow stats nerd @stereopticons - thanks pal!

Rules: Feel free to show whatever stats you have. Only want to show Ao3 stats? Rock on. Want to include some quantitative info instead of stats? Please do this. Want to change how yours is presented? Absolutely do that. Would rather eat glass than do this? Please don’t eat glass but don’t feel like you have to do this either.

Words and Fics (fics written in 2023 only)

143,107 words published to ao3. At least 3,900 more guaranteed by the advent fic so... I think I should make a concentrated effort to break 150k, right? 👀

No good way of tracking unpublished words in WIPs written this year. My goal for 2024 is to set up my spreadsheet to track words written as well as published so watch this space.

3 published fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue (book), Schitt's Creek, The Last Of Us (TV show). Technically 1 unpublished fandom in Red White & Royal Blue (film) 😅

Most recent drop: Apart from the daily advent fic drops lilnked above, a PWP interlude in the hockey boyfriend Henry 'verse

Longest (published) fic: By a country fuckin' mile, With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest), aka the Much Ado actor AU, at 65,586 words.

Longest (published) oneshot: Kinda think that I might be his type (Alex and Bea fake date) at 12,864 words

Top Fics by Kudos (fics written in 2023 only)

With so much of my heart (that none is left to protest) [RWRB, Alex/Henry, rated E, 65,586 words]

Kinda think that I might be his type [RWRB, Alex & Bea + Alex/Henry, rated E, 12,864 words]

We were supposed to find this [RWRB, Alex/Henry, rated M, 3,384 words]

Puck It [RWRB, Alex/Henry, rated E, 9,739 words]

Feel your hands in my hair and you whisper my name [RWRB, Alex/Henry, rated E, 2,508 words]

Miscellaneous Data From My Unhinged Spreadsheet about 2023 fics

To no one's surprise, highest percentage of private bookmarks goes to Bukkake Breaky Heart.

Out of 24 fics published in 2023, 14 were explicit, 2 were mature, 7 were teen and up, and 1 was general audiences

3 fics didn't have a title sourced from anywhere. 3 were sourced from literature/poetry, 3 were puns, and the remaining 15 were song lyrics, with 3 each from Taylor Swift and Matt Nathanson.

My highest kudos/hits ratio was on Empty your heart of its mortal dream, aka the Fae Prince Henry fic.

My fandom fic events in 2023

Nilch nada zip in terms of, like, fests. I wanted to do Threesgiving but the words wouldn't come, so a sort-of-threesome-sort-of-foursome will probably appear on some random day in fucking February or something lmao. However while they weren't fandom-specific events, I did do:

Kinktober 2023

Advent 2023

Upcoming Events and Projects for 2024

I have a lot -- a lot a lot a LOT -- of WIPs that will be completed in 2024, so please don't think of this as an exhaustive list, but they are the ones I'm most excited for:

A Practical Arrangement - @clottedcreamfudge has Devised A Punishment if I don't get chapter two out for y'all by Christmas because my usual methods of pushing past my brain bullshit weren't working, so technically this is a 2023 project 🤣 @ships-to-sail and @celeritas2997 have the carrot and CCF has the stick.

Anastasia AU!!! I LOVE this fic and I think it's in the 'meaty one-shot' range buuuuuut we'll see. It might get a little out of control.

Angstapalooza RWRB edition - this is gonna be another long fic, 10-11 chapters, 50k words ish, and I cannot WAIT to make y'all cry sink my teeth into it. My Schitt's Creeks babes know what happens when I deem something 'angstapalooza' lmao.

Hockey Boyfriend Henry part 3, aka the whole reason I started writing the fucking series in the first place lmao

Leverage AU, which I haven't shared anything of yet because it's a post-angstapalooza longfic but I am VERY HYPE FOR.

Rafael Is Surrounded By Disaster Queers, aka the Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead-style Rafael POV... 5+1? Vignettes? set in the Much Ado actor AU verse. Which at this point is just a gift for @inexplicablymine and @cricketnationrise and I wouldn't have it any other way.

STFAU 👀

*infomercial voice* And much, much more!

BUT, 2024 is also for taking original writing seriously. Maybe flash/microfiction on patreon, definitely diving into an original novel. I've thrown in the towel with my contracting agency in the new year and everything. Ack.

Tagging anyone I've tagged above and also @anincompletelist @cha-melodius @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @myheartalivewrites and anyone who wants to play because I love data.

[definitelynotstable]

Vice [Ghost x gn!Reader]

(A Camomile Interlude)

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt. 4, pt. 5, pt. 6, pt. 7, pt. 8, pt. 9, pt. 10, pt. 11, pt. 12, pt. 13, pt. 14, pt. 15, pt. 16, pt. 17

AN: Hey girlies (gender neutral term), uni is being a bitch right now and I'm at a mental capacity hence the less frequent updates. BUT here’s a wee hurt/comfort interlude that will hopefully tide you over till the next Camomile chapter :)

Synopsis: Set sometime in the early few chapters of Camomile. Ghost catches you at war with a punching bag – the bag is winning. Hurt/comfort. Word Count: 1.3k Warnings: Canon typical violence. Mentions of self-harm, violence, sex, drugs, smoking etc. Ghost x gn!Reader (Callsign: Rags)

✧˚ · .

Everyone who enlisted had some sort of problem. A generalisation that could be easily backed up with evidence if someone bothered to carry out the research. And if one were the outlier who enlisted issue-free there was no doubt they’d be left with an arsenal of them if they survived long enough to retire.

Mental health was something not many talked about. Besides, If one were too open they risked an honourable discharge.

And so when the horrors of the mind became too much, people turned to alternatives. Alcohol, drugs (you’d be surprised what could be snuck onto a military base), sex, smoking, violence, self-harm – the works.

All were acceptable in certain contexts and most soldiers had the rules down-packed.

Violence was only tolerated on the battlefield; alcohol could be discretely added to coffee in the morning; pills before bed; sex in a maintenance closet; cigars instead of cigarettes; unnecessary risks led to injuries in the field – the works.

It was some sort of unwritten code – everyone had their vice.

Ghost was a curveball.

You’d caught him with a pack of Camels within a week of joining the 141. It was dark and you were far more interested in studying how his lighter illuminated his jawline and scarred lips than the burning cigarette between his pale fingers. It was your first time catching him without the mask obscuring all of him from view.

The mask.

That was strike two.

There were plenty of unique characters in the military; though you’d never met one like him.

It almost seemed like satire – the skull.

You were quick to learn it wasn’t. He was as silent as his namesake and as deadly as the reaper he portrayed.

But he was a complete contradiction.

Teabags he kept in a delicate tin which had been labeled in his distinct handwriting – somehow scrawly but swirly at the same time – and he drank camomile from a chipped novelty mug which depicted the London skyline. The Eye had been half rubbed away – probably from the dishwasher – and the top of Big Ben had begun fading but he dutifully used it each time without fail.

✧˚ · .

“Tea time”, as you’d coined it inside your head, began spontaneously and became a regular, though informal, occurrence.

The Lieutenant wasn’t one for conversation and it took a couple of months of tentative small talk before you could comfortably hold a two-sided conversation with him.

Though slowly but surely he unfurled.

His gaze softened, sentences lengthened and touches lingered.

Water would be plonked in front of you before you even knew you needed it, doors opened when your arms were full and jackets draped across your shoulders before your shivers even began.

He was an observer, you realised. There wasn’t a single detail he overlooked.

So it shouldn’t’ve been a surprise when he noticed.

✧˚ · .

You’d never describe yourself as violent before you enlisted. Strong, maybe, or passionate. But put a C8 assault rifle in the hands of a young soldier with unresolved trauma and violence was the only outcome.

Hand-to-hand was addictive, knives too.

It wasn’t something you enjoyed, taking lives, but it was a necessary evil – at least that was what everyone tried to convince themselves when they closed their eyes at night.

Violence came hand in hand with pain, however.

Perhaps that was the real vice.

✧˚ · .

It was regulation to wear wraps when using the bags at the back of the gym.

But after a particularly rough mission wrapping your hands was the last thing on your mind.

Your fists met the bag in rapid succession, knuckles crunching against the sand-filled column.

The bag on the end was firmed than the rest and whenever your mind became too loud, this was where you could be found.

You thought you’d been discrete; believable with your smile and cheery goodnight but the figure in the doorway said otherwise.

You were too focused on the way the pain flared as your split knuckles met the bag to notice.

It wasn’t til he’d rounded the bag and pulled it away from when you recognised you’d had an audience.

You pant, chest screaming as you met him through lashes you hadn’t realised were damp.

“That’s enough.” Though spoken softly you know it’s an order.

You feel disconnected from your body when you met his gaze with a smile that looks more like a grimace and brush away a strand of hair with a shaking hand.

“L.T.” You say, straightening up in an attempt to snap out of what ever dissociative state you’ve fallen into. “How can I help you?”

The man in front of you frowns, stepping forwards. You can barely focus enough to track his movements and jolt as he takes your wrist in his hand.

“Oh!” You force out a laugh when you finally register his interest in your bruised and bloody hand. “Must’ve forgotten to wrap ‘em.”

He doesn’t reply and instead reaches for your other hand, angling both towards the light so he can see better.

You swallow tightly when the mess is illuminated and the distant throb in your knuckles suddenly becomes sharp. You can’t help the gasp that leaves your lips as the Lieutenant wipes some of the blood away with his sleeve.

Finally he looks up, blond brows creased and eyes inquisitive.

“You’ve damn near broken your knuckles.”

You open your mouth to reply but nothing comes out; your bottom lip finds it’s way between your teeth and you settle on chewing it instead. You blink rapidly and break free of his oppressive gaze.

Ghost sighs, sensing he won’t get much out of you now. Ever the observer.

✧˚ · .

He doesn’t release his grip on your wrist, tugging you out of the gym and down the dim halls towards the infirmary.

The section that keeps patients in need of 24/7 care is down a wing to the left, fluorescent lights buzzing. Ghost doesn’t lead you there, however.

Instead he pulls you towards the bases’ clinic and pulls out a key.

Too tired and confused to ask why he has access to the wing, you let him manoeuvre you into sitting on a bed – flicking the light switch along the way.

You watch dazedly as he riffles through a couple of drawers before coming to sit in front of you on a rolling stool.

With a glance up at you, Ghost reaches for a sterile cotton swab, dipping it in antiseptic. He takes your injured hand in his gloved one and with the utmost care, starts to clean the bloody mess, movements delicate and precise.

You wince at the sting but his touch is soothing and his focus on the task unwavering.

“I’m sorry.” You whisper as he pulls out a roll of gauze to wrap the now clean wounds.

Ghost stills his movements, looking up as his brows curl in confusion. “What for?”

Everything. You want to say.

“Lots of things.”

He doesn’t respond immediately, instead blinking and resuming his ministrations. You follow his movements as he expertly winds the bandage around your hands. You know he’s thinking – he doesn’t like to speak without crafting each word carefully in his head.

“I used to use a lighter.” He starts, voice low and soft. He doesn’t elaborate, he doesn’t need to. You’ve seen the burns on his arms, some covered by tattoos – you’ve got a few smileys on your thighs to match. “But I realised – I realised I was just letting them win.”

He swallows and takes in a deep breath before looking up at you, eyes raw and more expressive than you’ve ever seen them.

“There are people out there who want to hurt us – who have hurt us. When we take it into our own hands we do their job for them.”

He watches you for a moment through his pale lashes before standing, softly patting your now bandaged hands and pulling you to your feet.

“Don’t let them win, Rags.”

✧˚ · .

Taglist

@crosshairs773fp @alanalanalanalanalanna @ghostlythots @hyperfixationwhore @shinebright2000 @sae1kie @hotaruteba @karurururu @rorel1a @http-paprika @thriving-n-jiving @lazybutsmexy @zozosrandomthings @jinxxangel13 @tumblinginoz @kee-0-kee @moonsua1 @freeseeker @kaoyamamegami @01trickster10 @umiexe @josieguts @skelletonscloset @nessaasstuff @umiexe

Reply if you want to be added :)

Masterlist

If I've missed any of your tag request I'm so sorry! I've been swamped and unable to view or reply to comments as much as I would've liked.