#am i gonna draw a harp?

[kanafinwe-makalaure]

Makalaurë

[exercise-of-trust]

Hello, I love your style! Characters and colours are both so vibrant. I saw you were taking requests through September and I am not sure what type of requests but I adore your art of Maglor standing by the harp (one of my fave Maglors) and I would be delighted if you wanted to draw him again, maybe playing his Gap commander role... but whatever you like will be a delight! No pressure 🙏🏻💖.

this was gonna just be a quick sketch and then i got carried away trying out some sharper lighting, so. enjoy!

(taking requests through september)

[genericpuff]

i find it funny that one of rachel’s drawings of herself in the afterword that just went up is just fully persephone. is that something she does a lot?

Alright so I've been making it a general rule for myself to like, not harp on Rachel in any way outside of LO as much because frankly the horse is dead now and there's not much left to say outside of what can be analyzed in hindsight. I think despite everything I have to say about her and her work, she still deserves to get away from this nonsense and I don't wanna spend eternity hovering over her shoulder.

But the afterword was posted within the LO series and is clearly meant for readers of LO in the functioning of being an afterword so let's just call it fair game LOL

I will say, on the whole, it does feel very honest and sentimental and I can respect Rachel for taking the time to write out and illustrate her afterword in a way that was personal to both her and her fans. I can understand why she went at it from the angle that she did and I'm not gonna fault her for that.

But there's also something that feels deeply... disingenuous about her approach right from the starting gun. I will say, before I continue, that I'm well aware I am biased towards Rachel as a creator, and I fully acknowledge that I could very well be reading too much into things. This is just my opinion, take it with mountains of salt.

I can get looking back on your own childhood, your past self, whatever, and going "see! it all got better!" because sure! For a lot of creators like Rachel, it must be wild to look back on where they came from and there's a lot of sentimentality on expressing that through an afterword like this where she reflects on where she came from. Though she STILL didn't acknowledge her other comics outside of LO, I can understand if she wants to leave those skeletons in the closet.

But I feel like her drawing herself as a child who's being given an Eisner by her adult self and all that just feels like some gross attempt to disarm any criticism of her because "don't make fun of me, I'm just a sad lonely baby girl!"

She's not a child. Child Rachel didn't grossly misappropriate Greek myth into their own self-indulged vanity project. Child Rachel didn't claim herself a folklorist of a culture's works only to bastardize them completely. Child Rachel didn't create a hostile environment within her fanbase by bullying anyone who she perceived as a threat, sneaking into critical spaces to try and cause trouble, and writing her own clapbacks into her comic. Child Rachel didn't claim to be challenging misogyny and purity culture only to reinforce misogyny and purity culture through her own self-insert baby-virgin-gets-rescued-by-rich-tycoon power fantasy that regularly glorified abuse towards women and the lower class.

30-almost-40-year-old Rachel did though.

At best it comes across as really cringe sentimentality from a Greek-weeb (heh, greeboo) and goes to show how much Rachel inserted herself into Greek myth without ever absorbing its messages or cultural contexts, it was all about her and her feelings as a sad New Zealand girl with dyslexia who thought Persephone's story was about another sad girl being rescued from her "horrible childhood".

At worst it's an active attempt to play on people's heartstrings by drawing herself as a child who people will naturally not want to criticize. I don't want to assume she's doing it intentionally, I really don't want to leave her afterword on a bad foot, as I can definitely understand as both a creator and a person who struggled with learning disabilities in their own childhood how and why she wants to pay homage to her past and where she came from... but let's just say, as someone who's also gotten way too "lost in the sauce" concerning personal self-reflective projects, I think there's a lot to say about how this confirms that Rachel made LO entirely for herself, about herself, without any actual intention to respect the original myths, because she never truly separated them from herself when she was a child. And, in my humble opinion as someone who has Been There with the self-insert OC's and self-reflective angsty plotlines, I can fully attest to the fact that that's not fucking healthy. Even with personal projects, you NEED to learn to get your head out of the sauce, you NEED to learn to objectively separate yourself from the narrative so the story doesn't fall apart under your own hubris and ego, you NEED to learn to draw a line if you want to have any sort of identity as a human being outside of what you make for people. And that's with just normal original stories, this was a story based on Greek myth which doesn't belong to her.

And this goes for a lot of the things she's said and done in the past, so much of her own "sources" even are tethered to things that she read / watched in her childhood and only vaguely remembers, as if she never mentally left her childhood at all, which just... if the point was to highlight her past and the traumas she went through and how they contributed to her present, an Eisner isn't going to validate those experiences. And drawing attention to her past through the lens of her childhood self absolutely 100% does not absolve her of the negative effect her work has had on the modern Greek myth zeitgeist nor the things she's said and done as a 38 year old woman who should absolutely know better.

The community she entered and took from will forever remain changed by her influence and taking, in many ways not for the better. She has the privilege of walking away and never having to think about it again, with all the awards and accolades that were bought for her, the bravado that she built around being a "folklorist" with zero credentials, and the platform she was given over many other creators struggling to even be heard.

That "place" she claims to have now was built entirely on inserting herself into another culture's works and doing nothing but taking, taking, taking, while offering nothing in return but vanity and lip service. That "place" was paid for and brought to you by Webtoons.

[factual-fantasy]

29 asksss

Yes

@britneyt

Aw! Thank you! :DD

@gilbertsphotography

The elven style ears are meant to make them look less human and to match the Wario bros. :0 My AU's Peach and Daisy are these tall elf like creatures, not humans. They are the same species as the Wario bros.

Jangles would prepare himself for this brutal duel in "put em up" type battle stance. Ready to give this fight his all.

Only to be squashed by Jangle. Alas, he is made of plastic <XDD

@pinkpenguin88888

XDD Thought that was a bunny at first-

:DD Thank you! But hey, nothing's stopping you from book marking the post or saving the link to it somewhere :0

@whereismycupofcoffee

Honestly I have no hope. I'm thinking its gonna bomb like the Ruin DLC did, lore wise. Calling it now there's gonna be a character named VANESSA and her nickname is VANNY even though this movie is about the first game and has NOTHING TO DO WITH VANESSA. There's gonna be a kid named Cassidy, another kid named Gregory, circus baby is gonna come out of nowhere, there's gonna be a nightmare animatronic reference, one kid is gonna look like the crying child for no reason, Springtrap is gonna talk a lot and take away the horror- its gonna be a mess. The lore will be a terrible. mess.

Horror wise it might be awesome but I am NOT looking forward to all the crap they're gonna mix in with the lore. Its soooo simple, just make a spooky movie that captures the terror that the first game created. Recreate the mystery and horror. Bonnie disappearing, Foxy running down the hall. Freddy's music. Maybe Golden Freddy?? Hints of a darker past with dead kids. It would be awesome. They don't gotta complicate the lore by adding all the other games into it but I know they will-

@palettepainter :DD Thank you!!

@randox-talore Nope! The flowers don't make them bigger. They just give the bros ice/fire powers :}

@devastatorst

Pretty much XDD

@andysalleyway

:DDD Thank you so much!! Honestly I'm surprised by the number of my followers that are into the same fandoms I'm into. Sounds like I've found my people! XDD

Thanks, I'm hoping it finally gets through to people and they'll just leave me alone..

It is! But ya gotta DM me for it so I can sus out your blog :x

I need to have some idea of who I'm letting in-

:DD Thank you so much! Also sorry, I don't take requests :/

@montygatorshusband

THANK YOU! I don't support any ships from any fandoms, I just personally don't like them. So having people harp on me and my AU because a "canon ship" isn't in it was really annoying.. 😓

Glamrock Bonnie and Foxy would be thinking "Wow, they look different/great! :00"

Glamrock Freddy and Chica are like "WHY IS BONNIE SO LARGE"

Oooo that would be cool! All my versions of Bonnie are slow, so having him throw things at Gregory would be terrifying-

@ocinstituterep

The reason why I haven't drawn any classic mermaids like that is because it felt kind'a weird to add a half human creature into the Octonauts universe. Considering humans don't exist in it.. Now that post with the mermaid thing actually has the creature looking humanoid for sure. Because it would look more alien if it was human. But I kept the scales because a straight up half human mermaid would just feel out of place-

@mashmellowy

Firealpaca! :}}

@oddesto

XD Thank you!! Also my WHOLE BLOG?? Dang. I apologize for all the Gravity falls cringe you had to see-

XD Factual Fanta, that's great 🤣🤣

@citrusfruitman

I think those people are just salty because they wanna draw my stuff but I wont let them. My true fans will have basic human respect and just not draw fanart without sending me hate and rude comments.

@danman22ful

Monty is much more mellow and kind in the Partial swap. Although he still can be a bit of a grump sometimes. The way Bonnie is treating everyone (mostly Foxy) really angers/upsets him.

Roxy hasn't changed a whole lot tbh. Full of grief and self loathing. Except I don't think she'd have this "I'm better than you" attitude. Her thinking that Freddy's death was her fault would crush her. Just like Monty was crushed in the OG au.

:DDD Thank you!! Also really? :00 Wow, great minds do think alike! XD

Aw, I'm sorry that you relate to Bonnie's struggles, <:(

I was thinking he would do 1 of 2 things.

Either this bombshell that his late friends of 10 years are alive, would be so emotionally overwhelming that he would completely shut down. Literally. They would break into his room and Bonnie is collapsed on the floor. And cannot be reactivated. And when he does eventually reactivate, he absolutely refuses to acknowledge or speak to anyone in anyway..

OR, hearing that Chica and Freddy are alive, would completely drown out any other feeling. They're alive, he would rush out of his room to go see them. All of his stress, all of his anger would be swept away in favor of his anxiousness to see his friends again. And finally, he would talk to people again somewhat. Every day would get easier knowing that once its over he can go see Freddy and Chica again.

I haven't decided which one is better <XD

@burningmusicfunnygiant (Post in question)

Oh a whole mix of emotions. Mostly joy and sadness though.. Joy to see them alive after all these years. But sadness too see the horrible states they're in.. Mostly Freddy's state-

<XD Don't worry I wont. I know some of the angsty bits of Bluey but not enough to draw stuff and traumatize you all-

You are spared this time! XDD

[heilith]

Coral and Crystal

My second piece for Scribbles and Drabbles 2023. For the first time in the history of this blog, Maglor, for your entertainment.

The lovely necklace by lferion as a prompt. Hope you have fun.

Tw: blood, possibly depression. But it's gonna be fine. :)

@fall-for-tolkien

Coral and Crystal

His songs followed his grief on the final road to oblivion. It was now impossible to remember the day when the last drop of regret had trickled out of him, leaving his mind and soul empty like a cracked vial. He welcomed that loss with relief. He was still foolish enough to believe he had nothing else to be robbed of.

And then all those melodies, and laments, everything to the simplest lonely notes fell silent, too, with the silence only the dead had mastered to such a degree of perfection. 

His hands were weak and pale now, with neither a sword nor a harp to give them work. 

Maglor pushed himself up from the damp rock with difficulty. Crystals of salt sank their teeth into his palm at the effort, drawing a fair amount of his blood as a payment for hospitality. 

The merfolk, who up to the moment were cluttering around him like a king’s court, galumphed from their spots as they would always do whenever he chose to move on. Their beautiful mouths were folding into grimaces of annoyance and letting out low animalistic growls. 

He’d stopped resenting their presence long ago, eerie as they were with their half-human appearance and disturbingly inhuman ways. He would have, had their sentience lived up to the jealousy they were putting into adorning and grooming themselves. Yet under the disguise of the crimson coral beads, hugging their necks in numerous layers, and the hair combs of polished bone, which never seemed to be out of their restless hands, they remained nothing but beasts, and the most indifferent and dangerous kind of them.

And then again…Indifference was a blessing to him. 

And his fears died before his grief had. 

But they were restless today…

The youngest of the creatures jerked up his head, his nostrils widening. In one awkward motion it propped itself up and shuffled towards the seat their Elven companion had stood up from moments ago. The sudden splash of interest appeared contagious - the herd was drawing closer to the rock, their grunts became aggressive.

The youngster snarled with triumph, reaching out for the traces of blood, red against the gray of the stone.

The air between his clutching fingers thickened. 

The stains lost their liquid gloss and shrank to odd bead-like shapes. It didn’t take Maglor long to realize that was what they’d become – a scattering of crimson coral beads. The trophies soon to join the countless rows of their kind over someone’s slimy neck.

That was the destiny he had reduced himself to. 

Anger woke him up. He shuddered in revulsion, for once not focused on himself.  

Slowly he closed his fist to make sure there was enough of his blood on the pebbles under his feet to afford him a slow escape.   For the first time in thousands of days he’d walked the shores of Arda the waves were roaring behind him.

“Do you like it?” 

“Yes,” he said earnestly, yet again scolding himself for his helplessness at the sight of your smile. Words were fleeing him when he needed them the most. 

“You’re not looking.” 

“I am.” 

He was looking. At the way your hair was falling over your eyes again and again, no matter how many times you removed it. At the way sun dapples were dancing on your cheek, when you tilted your head, as if your inner light was breaking through your hroa wilfully, hungry for freedom. At the tiny twist your lips would always make, when his name was ready to slip off them. He delighted in the sound of it echoing through him before any sound was born at all.  

“Maglor…”

He forced himself to lend an eye to the item that have captured your attention in this weird tiny shop.

“Coral,” the statement came out crispier than he had hoped he could manage it.  

“And crystals,” you stroked the facets of the yellowish bead between two solid drops of blood, “Like sundrops, aren’t they? Screaming “summer, here I come”.”

He couldn’t bear to disappoint you. 

…The day was unbearably golden. The soft light of early June, about as tender as the touch of your hand, was seeping in through his skin unbidden. The benches at the beach could easily accommodate a bigger company than the two of you, but you still chose to curl up under the drape of his arm, the warmth of your body a welcome protection against the chilly breeze from the sea.  

It felt almost wrong to be blessed like this. 

All he needed was not to remember about the string of haunting memories, resting where your collarbones met. 

“They say you never really know the history behind old things,” you spoke suddenly, “They say they can bring you bad luck.” 

The needle of regret moved just a little bit deeper into his heart. He should have known better than to think it had rusted for good. 

“Perhaps, you’d better part with them before they do.” 

You laughed and nuzzled into his chest, so that your voice was muffled when you teased him gently:

“Don’t you trust me to handle a little family curse?” 

You did wear the necklace well. It looked at home on you, the anger of raw blood tamed by the careless sunlight. 

You made it easy to let it all go. 

“I do,” lied he quietly. 

But I’ll follow my brothers before I make you. 

[autisticrosewilson]

First of all, you have given me so much to work with, thank you so much. Second of all, I’m really glad you could see where I was going with Grant’s real test not actually being about killing Slade. Third of all, I absolutely love what you’ve suggested with the powers and I am currently designing met gala esque outfits for the trio and Tara’s specifically is really fun to play around with. I’ve been thinking to show they’re becoming more divine I’ll change their hair and eye colours but not their faces for the most part. I was drawing robin Jason with Natalia and decided he should have brown eyes and a crooked nose from breaking it as a kid but once he returns his eyes get weird (eg go blue and occasionally other colours), a patch of his hair went white and he lost all of his scars. Also, I think the closer they get to divinity I’m gonna draw cracks on their body that glow with their specific colours just to hammer home how they’re shedding their mortal forms.

With Tara being able to see the strings of fate, I though it’d be fun to give her a harp and then with Jason having the see no evil trait I thought it’d be fun to give him weighing scales since lady justice wears a blindfold. Idk what to give Grant though. I mean probably a weapon of some sort or maybe a Shepard’s crook that he can turn into a scythe to play into the sheep, wolf, Hunter thing.

With Jason and Tara’s splintering, I love the idea of them making fun of Grant for being the baby god. He hasn’t even had a cult yet, gosh he’s so young. Also them being besties just holds a special place in my heart.

And I just came up with this, of course they have parallels to the trinity but in universe rumours of their existence have been around much longer than Bruce, Clark and Diana. They’re the big three of the justice league but these guys are justice gods. So they start calling themselves the justice trinity but then people get confused about which trinity is which because the justice leagues’ trinity sounds awfully close to the justice gods’ trinity. The new all caste is certainly more distinctive branding but the point isn’t to be distinctive, it’s to be petty.

I'm so glad my unmedicated rambling helped!!! And I'm so excited for the outfits!!! I love when characters start becoming less and less human, when they're stuck in that uncanny valley spot of not quite human but not entirely Other, when they lose control and the cracks start to show...um I should probably give a warning for slight body horror elements. Not in the gore sense, in the "this body is not made of flesh and there is something divine clawing it's way out". Uh also there are teeth. Just. Teeth. I dipped into a little bit of cosmic horror at the end there because I wanted to cover my bases with mixed mythologies

Jason, with his defined splinters, is usually depicted with three faces in ancient texts. The Child, gaunt and dark colored, is said to appear before the downtrodden and impoverished. The few stories remaining tell of kindly people who give him an offering, and in exchange he reveals his true form, with his crown of golden ivy and beautiful strong wings to gift them bounties of food and water and riches. Other stories tell of not so kind encounters, where The Child witnesses an injustice - typically against women or children - and again reveals his true form, one with clawed hands and a mouth dripping with blood. Scholars argue what the wings looked like, but whichever All-Caste member annotated it before has compared their likeness to either a Robin or a Shrike.

There's also The Ghost, He appears young at first glance, but his hair is wirey and gray, his eyes milky and unseeing, in bloodied armor he greets the souls of the damned as they're delivered to him, and with scarred hands he wipes the tears of children taken too soon. Accounts of this face are few and far between, but all of them are entrenched in sorrow.

Finally there is The Soldier, scarred and still smoking from the ruins of battle he emerges, giving voice to the weak and resources to the needy. He champions revolutionaries and philosophers first, a strategist who delights in the liberation of the people from corrupt systems. Accounts of him usually come from times of famine and war, and he was particularly popular with poor villages, who would mark the graves of their dead with the symbol of his sword as offerings. For some reason or other, he got particularly popular with the youth, girls and boys both seemed to pray for him and leave him offerings.

The way these manifest on Jason is subtle at first. I could go the body horror route, but I won't. Yet. Instead I think his splinters show up as reflections, shadows, imprints. The faint echo of bell-like laughter when Jason does a move he learned as Robin, the image of a younger him with longer hair and unblinking eyes staring at him in the mirror. It gets worse when he gets the blades, the white streaks his hair, the swirling mark covers more of his skin every time he uses them, he trails the scent of smoke and blood behind him like a signature. His scars...they should disappear. They have for everyone else who used the pit, but instead his skin starts cracking. Any place he's ever been scarred glowing cracks break up his skin. He can't feel them, but he's always aware of them, the meaning behind them, the divinity literally leaking through his body. His eyes aren't brown anymore. They aren't even green. He looks in the mirror and they are copper, molten and burning. He tries his best to keep his mask on.

What do you think of when you imagine the word divinity? Probably something like Tara. Something with skin carved from stone, with moss and fungus crawling up her legs and snow laden shoulders. They say her hair is made of swirling clouds and the sun and moon are her eyes.

Some say she's a nymph although no one knows what kind. You're just as likely to see her name among the naiads as the dryads. Whether flowers bloom where she dances or waves crash when she sings, she's known to be more vicious towards suitors than her sisters.

Others have said she's a faerie, who takes the faces of lost daughters and lovers, slipping into their places seamlessly, forcing unruly men to pay their dues. Others say she's a shifter of a different sort, with a shawl of feathers and a crown of twine and gems. Stories range from men trying to steal her coat (and paying dearly) to lost children returned safely home on the back of a swan.

Tara doesn't think about it at first, the way gravity tends to cede to her, she doesn't notice how sunflowers turn their faces towards her instead of the sun. She doesn't notice the way her face...shifts. it's imperceptible really, and it's not like she looks in the mirror all that often. But everyone around her notices it, on some level, the way her expressions are off. A little too exaggerated. The way her limbs bend just a little too oddly. The way she never looks quite the same as she did the day before, the way she picks up features from the people around her the way she picks up rocks from ground to add to her collection. Clay molded subtly into the image of those she loves, a museum of everyone she's ever met. She does notice when her hair starts going white at the ends, the strange way her hair starts to curl unnaturally, almost floating. She's not so upset about her eyes, the deep blue of her father that has glared down at her day after day, she has changed her hair, her face, her language but she could not change her eyes. It seems she didn't have to, when she wakes up with one a little too silver to be gray and one a little too gold to be brown. And then her skin starts splitting, a cavern made from a broken rib and ravines made by the slashing of knives. She doesn't even bleed anymore, they never scab over. They crystallize, amber like ambrosia, like ichor. Her body a geode waiting to be cracked open to let the thing within finally break free.

They know the least about Grant, whatever he used to be. Half written scrolls, torn or burnt or simply stopped abruptly, illegible journal entries with symbols never recorded in any known language, half finished sketches where the details are never quite clear. A few things are usually consistent though, signs that he's been there, usually from hunters down on their luck or the particularly old and sickly. First, the howling. Like a wolf or a storm, although later accounts would add that it occasionally sounds like a mechanical whirring. Then the rabbits, dead and gutted, but not a trace of blood. Piles of them left in heaps on doorsteps or windowsills. Some have reported knocking at strange hours or finding teeth in their homes, a mix of human and animal. There is one photo on record, the most recent thing in the archive most likely, of claw marks on the side of a barn, too big and oddly serrated, certainly not from anything native to the area. Elderly that report these phenomena typically pass from heart problems within the week, according to some of the old medical files.

Grant came back wrong. Physically, at least. He knows that he's still himself for the most part, dying didn't make him a selfish asshole he did that all on his own, but...but something is wrong with him. It's the way lightbulbs flicker when he's mad and how cameras, no matter the quality, never quite get a clear shot of him. The way Joey can't ever grasp his features, not fully, the details slipping from his mind like water. The way eyes on his face slide right past, unable to look directly at him. It's in the gray spreading from his roots and his eyes too wide and dark to belong to something human. It's the way death clings to him like a second skin, sickly and pallid turning the tips of his fingers gray. His teeth are starting to feel too sharp for his mouth, and he hears things no one else does, whispers of voices that Are Not and Can't Be. The worst part is the orange, liquid candlelight under his skin, lighting up all of his veins and scars, webbing together like the world's worst game of connect the dots. No, there is no mistaking him for something human, so there is no reason to try. If this is his fate then he will take it, because he is not a sheep and he will not be a wolf, he is a hunter, and he is hungry.

[angelspathway]

From the start: Miles Morales x black fem! reader

Summary: crush on best friend

Warnings: confessing feelings, feeling heartbroken, injuries, jealously, sadness

Note: I am in my feelings.

Later note: I don't think I am ever gonna finish this. I cannot find the motivation. I'm sorry but, please enjoy.

‘Don't you notice how

I get quiet when there's no one else around?

Me and you and awkward silence

Don't you dare look at me that way

I don't need reminders of how you don't feel the same’

Quietness filled my room. Miles Morales, Harlem's spider man and my best friend, sat in my windowsill, drawing i n his sketchbook. Another picture of that girl he met last year. The atmosphere felt tense, even though neither of us has said a word since he swung into my room, seeking solace from a panic attack. His pencil made scratching noises, heavy and almost sounded like he was ripping the paper. I was still blinking sleep from my eyes because of my disturbed nap. "Miles?"

He looked up at me with saddened dark brown eyes, wiping some freely flowing tears off his cheeks with the sleeve of his puffer jacket. He was breaking my poor lovesick heart with how much this panic attack took affect on him. "You think she forgot about me?" the softness in his sad voice torn me to shreds. I stood up, ignoring the pang in my heart, walking over to him. I sit on the windowsill, scooting closer to him and wrapping my arm around him as he went into another episode of snifflingand crying. I said nothing more as I rub his back. " Let it out, Miles.”

My heart continued to break for him... but it broke for myself. I felt selfish because here was my friend crying about the same girl that he thinks forgot him and I am angry that he still thinks about her while I am here with him all the time.

‘Oh, the burning pain

Listening to you harp on 'bout some new soulmate

"She's so perfect, " blah, blah, blah

Oh, how I wish you'll wake up one day

Run to me, confess your love, at least just let me say’

"Come on, Miles! Not at the arcade too..." I groan in frustration as his mind drifts from eating his nachos to just staring off in the distance, a smile visible on his face. Why couldn't he look at me like that? "Earth to Miles?", I wave my hand in front of his face. I was annoyed about how often he thought about her, especially nowadays.

He snapped out of it, looking at me with that bright look. He gave me the sweetest embarrassed smile, stuffing a nacho in his mouth. "Sorry... Its supposed to be our hangout day-"

"Don’t worry about it. Tell me more about the girl that stole my best friend’s heart." I pretended to be interested about this 'Perfect girl', not wanting him to find out about my seething jealously. My heart was screaming at him to confess to me. To be with me instead of her.

I felt selfish... I should be happy that my bestie has a crush, not anger that I wasn't the girl that he wanted.

But...

‘That when I talk to you oh, Cupid walks right through

And shoots an arrow through my heart

And I sound like a loon, but don't you feel it too?

Confess I loved you from the start’

Nevermind, he owes me nothing for being a friend to him. I may have been there for him every day of my life, but he doesn't owe me anything for loving him so damn much. I should've confessed sooner. Maybe then, I wouldn't have to worry so much about something or someone snatching him away from our friendship.

"Hey. Now you are spacing out?" he laughs, placing his hand on top of mines. My stomach filled with nauseating butterflies as I snapped back to reality. I give him an upside down smile, pulling my hand away from his.

"Let’s go play some video games."

‘What's a girl to do?

Lying on my bed, staring into the bluе

Unrequited, terrifying

Lovе is driving me a bit insane

Have to get this off my chest

I'm telling you today’

With a lot of encouragement from my friends and even Miles parents, I decided I needed to confess to him. My heart was beating out of my chest, scared of how he would react to my confession. I walk towards the water tower, his mom telling me where he was. I stopped in my tracks, my heart breaking in two after seeing blonde hair with pink tips. He seemed so happy talking to her, sharing a plate of food. My shoulders dropped, turning to walk away, feeling guilty for the tears in my eyes. I shouldn't be this upset..

He always talked about her... even during our hangouts. He never looked at me that way, never looked at me past being a friend... and it hurts.. it hurts a lot. Mostly because I've been there for him all this time and he cannot see how much I care for him. I leave the party, tears running down my face. I was gasping and trembling a bit. Why did I ever think he would love me? He loves her. I will never be the girl of his life.

[zylphiacrowley]

5 10 Songs I'm Into rn

I was tagged by both @hythlodaes and @midnightmagicks so... I'm gonna list 10 songs instead because I have so many I always want to list for these. Not tagging anyone else because my memory is bad and I don't remember who all has done it anymore, but if you haven't and you want to do it, tag me in it and tell 'em I sent you! Under a cut to save your scroll wheel.

Orion by IVEEN

I had to go back and make sure I didn't list this one the last time I was tagged in this. Good news I didn't! So now I get to link it! Beautiful harp music and IVEEN has ethereal mermaid fairy vibes.

2. Glass Piano by Kathleen

Just a vibe tbh. Also like the stuttered lyrics.

3. I Don't Wanna Talk (I Just Wanna Dance) by Glass Animals

Sometimes it be that way, don't it? Anything by Glass Animals is good tho (as long as it isn't Heatwaves... Heatwaves is a fine song I guess but it's been overplayed on the radio so that kind of ruined it for me).

4. Dh’èirich mi moch, b' fheàrr nach do dh’èirich by Julie Fowlis

I do not speak the language, but I feel like you don't have to. It's a very pretty almost bittersweet sounding song. Like reminiscing on a once happy memory that was somehow made sad but still brings you peace.

5. Technicolor Beat by O Wonder

I guess it's appropriate that a song called "Technicolor Beat" would have a really nice beat and vibe to it.

6. Heart Worth Breaking by The Midnight

Did I maybe use a line from this song for one of my Wolship things? Perhaps... I've been obsessed with The Midnight since the first time I heard them. Very much "driving through the city in the 80s, the rain hitting your windows and the neon lights illuminating the night" vibes. Also highly recommend both Shadows and Vampires (for the sexy sax solos).

7. We Keep On Running by What So Not & TOTO

I... I'm pretty sure this is What So Not and The TOTO... like Africa TOTO. I've been obsessed with it lately tho.

8. Home by Katie Turner

I found this while looking for sweet sappy love songs that evoke a sense of yearning lol. It didn't exactly work for what I was looking for at the time but it def delivers on all fronts (and I am putting a pin in it as a "maybe" for later).

9. By and Down the River by A Perfect Circle

I've been vibing with my old high school era tastes in music again lately so that includes plenty of A Perfect Circle.

10. Soil by Cosmo Sheldrake

This one is a super new release! I'm always down for some Cosmo Sheldrake. The whole album project that this song comes from is pretty good from what I've listened to so far. Also Cosmo Sheldrake is now intrinsically linked to Erenville in my brain because nature and wildlife and the fact that I had his music on repeat for hours when I was drawing him one day so there's that. :)

[sleepinginmygrave]

my hand slipped-

tea. wtf

i was about to eat a cherry tomato and open my inbox like what could possibly happen!!!! so yeah yeah okay and i see THIS. my hand stopped for a second and the tomato almost fell

HOW CAN YIU SEND TJIS TO ME AND EXCEPT ME TO BE NORMAL AFTER THIS

YOU MADE A MOODBOARD OF ME JUST LIKE THIS AND ITS SO SO FUCKING PRETTY AND OH MY GOF

I AM OBSESSED

OH MY GOD TEA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M GONNA CRY

YOU LITERALLY ADDED ALL MY FAVORITE THINGS EVER

EVEN A HARP

AND MOTHS OH MY GOD?????? I DON'T THINK I EVER TOLD YOU IN LOVED MOTHS

AND FUNFACT THIS JELLYFISH PICTURE IS LIKE. ONE OF MY FAV EVER IDK IT'S SO BLOBLOBLOBLOOBL

TEA IS LOVE YOU SO MUCH

first you draw me and now this I DON'T DESERVE YOU I SWEAR

OH MY GODDDDD

[the-gayest-sky-kid]

so this here is auggie: semi finalized!!! halliwell's... probably? not going to be his last name but i had no clue what surname to give him so its acting as a stand in aaa

so this is the blorbo. the new bsd oc i have been working on. from the fanfic i am Struggling with. same guy from the Art a while ago. august (i like the month okay) whatever last name i decide on at a later date.

notes!

his ability is called lucy locket! i actually came up with the ability's function first, and then i found that it fit pretty well. basically its a pocket dimension accessed via the users pockets. so far it has infinite storage, but whatever is added or removed at the present moment has to have been able to fit in the pocket originally. so you cant add/remove a large waterbottle from tiny jean pockets, for example. i like to think it only works when august himself pulls something out or puts something in. so. yknow. "not a penny was there in it, only ribbon round it". hehe

hes 25 because as much as a harp on bsd i also suck with ages so i rng-ed a number between 21 and 27 chcbdj

his birthday is june 21st! stole that from james orchard halliwell (see where that came from now) phillipps, bc he was the first to record the nursery rhyme. i also think him being born on the summer solstice in june but being named august is soo funny.

forgot to add it in correctly but his height is 5'8! that's about 173 cm? i think? i rounded it up technically its only like. 172.72?

168??? pounds??? which is apparently like 76kg? look i have no clue how weights work either i just took my own weight looked up the average for an adult and made something up. dont expect it to make sense.

bloodtype is a! i thought it was weird that the blood types were mentioned at all in the character bios but then i remembered the whole stereotype thing so i just picked whatever i thought fit.

he likes goldfish (hence the socks and earrings), rice (its rice), and hats (because they are so neat)! i was thinking about funny sock patterns and then i was looking at the wiki page for catherine maria fischer (the supposed kitty fisher in the nursery rhyme) and one of her paintings had a fishbowl in it. and then i thought about yoimiya because i had been drawing her before and. yknow. he definitely does has a small hat collection, but he'd rather them not be damaged at work. theyre saved for parties and formal gatherings!

dislikes are long explanations, pollen (allergy 😔), and unpleasant textures (like bedsheets that give you the Feeling when you scratch them). he likes it when people get to the point, and im projecting my own sensory issues onto him hxjsj

moving on we have design notes!

so here's our boy.

starting with the shirt, its actually based on one of the shirts i own. it's got the solid torso and the loose sheer sleeves, and i thought that was neat! though for him i think the sleeves would be a bit more opaque, and he's wearing a vest!

as for the tie you can see i noted that it's a bit of a cross between a criss cross tie and like... a sailor tie? i know it says bolo but thats because the word i was looking for was Tie Brooch for the pendant in the middle.

the cargo shorts!!! so obviously to best use his ability august needs something with rather large pockets, but i didn't know how to add those in. initially i wanted to go with some tights or normal slacks and have him wear a hoodie, but it was kind of... eh? so i tried cargo pants but those didn't work either. so then i tried on shorts and i Realized what needed to be done fhdjjws

knee high socks! i asked what how silly we should get with them and eni said knee highs and nobody said ankle with silly patterns so i combined the two! i think the combination is really funny.

the shoes! theyre just sneakers. comfy!

moving on

i dont actually like this doodle but we're gonna have to bear with it augu

the earrings! theyre little fishies! initially i had different earrings planned but i wanted the fish socks to match with something hdhdhdh

hair tie! august has got the rest of his hair tied up with a little bow. i think its cute bfbdbd

and so you can see what i meant, here's the page of concepts i did!

you can see the cargo pants, the hoodie, as well as the old earring design. i was playing around with the sleeves for a while xhdhhs

plus i got silly with one so maybe ill do smth with that at some point idk idk

[winderlylandchime]

3x02 1/3 im just gonna jump right in for what we’re all here for: ‘ITS JUSTIN!!! BRIAN AND JUSTIN ARE BACK TOGETHER FUCKING! Wait is he cheating again? Is this gonna be like yesterday where they rewind back? Blondie and Bri Bri!! I missed you tw- WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?!?! That’s not my blondie? What is this.. i like Brian’s shirt, wait let me focus: so he is fucking people that look like Justin and imagining Justin while fucking people that don’t look like him..and people think he’s okay?’ He just paused the tv on Em/Ted and made a weird face ‘lover? That’s what they’re gonna be doing? I am not..i have mixed feelings. This is…awkward, i feel like I’m watching something i shouldn’t be’ he is now covering up his face and watching it that way. *points at Brian who’s watching Em/Ted ‘THATS HOW I FEEL! Where did lamb chop come from?’ He is now laughing his ass off at the part where Ted feeds Em ‘ow ow that hurt my stitches but it was worth it. That was funny. But also its a little weird. DEB STILL DOESNT KNOW WHY HE GOT HIT?!’ He started shaking his arms all over the place ‘BRIAN WANTS THEM TO MAKE UP FOR THE COMIC! why am i acting shocked? We already knew this since yesterday. But STILL. Is that how they get back together? Just please tell me that I won’t have to suffer harp player for the entire season..MIKE. i mean sure Bri Bri was a sugar daddy but it was by CHOICE! HE DIDNT BETRAY YOU. You cheated on his best friend. Dude, use your brain come on where’s that 1500 on SAT now?’ ‘NOOOO WHY IS THERE VIOLIN MUSIC AGAIN? I swear I’m gonna have PTSD by the end of this. SEE! His hand cramped up while drawing that fucker! That’s the universe telling him NO! DAPHNE MY BABY GIRL PLEASE DONT DISAPPOINT ME!!! *he is paying close attention to Daphs face* my spidey senses are saying that my girl Daphne hates him. Please be right!! (He actually gagged when Justin said they made love) please stop talki- you know for someone who is OH so in love with the flute player, he sure as fuck talks about Brian a lot. EXACTLY DAPHNE CALL HIS ASS OUT.. *daphne makes a face at ethan and he immediately pauses on it and goes to the tv* THAT *waves hands over daphne and accidentally touches the tv* my bad ma’am that was an accident. *waves hands again* THAT IS THE LOOK OF A PERSON WHO FUCKING HATES HIM! HALLELUJAH THERE IS STILL A GOD SOMEWHERE IN THIS FUCKED UP UNIVERSE!…fuck do you mean he’s dropping out? *he started to actually jump up and down while sitting when ethan asked about tuition* TELL HIM TELL HIM TELL HIM!!!’ He then ran to get his phone while screaming ‘WAIT WAIT I DOWNLOADED AN APP TO HELP ME FIND MUSIC!!!!’ And now he is using Shazam to recognize what songs they’re using.. ‘ITS BRIAN! They always use the best songs for Bri..(brian is on the computer going through pics of guys) is this the grindr before grindr? *looks at me* yeah i know what grindr is. This man would rule Grindr’ ‘ladies, girls, my lesbians…WHY on earth would you want another child? Mel you already cheated when the first one came around, wanna do it again? Is that the theme for this season? Cheating?’ ‘Ben only made enough food for 2? But he just offered it to Emmett? Ben sure is something..ben don’t be a bitch YOU TOLD HIM TO BE THERE FOR BRI..WHY ARE THEY CALLING EACH OTHER LOVER?’ ‘JEN NO! YOU WERE MY GIRL! MY WOMAN! MY DREAM WOMAN! WHY WOULD YOU BETRAY ME LIKE THIS? Can they stop blowing smoke up this dude’s ass? I too could play the xylophone if i wanted to! (Ethan says ‘i like to think’) dude, you haven’t had a single thought behind your eyes since the moment you walked on screen. *he paused it and is now laughing at Justin* WHY DID HE SAY THAT WITH A SMILE? Why did he just say the words ‘he was at a concentration camp’ with a smile? JEN, i thought we had something, why are you betraying me? I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU GUYS TO BE FRIENDS! (justin says to not talk about Brian) BRO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KEEPS BRINGING HIM UP. but for real who’s gonna pay his tuition? OH HIS DAD ASKS ABOUT HIM? Well tell Molly that (his name) says he can shove that question up his ass!’

…and people think he’s okay? YOU AND ME AND THE FANDOM BOTH BROTHER ANON. That is the theme for this series. No one gets Brian (except Justin). He is not okay, he is so rarely okay.

Daphne is the biggest and OG Britin shipper. I’m glad your brother sees that and feels the relief we all do. She doesn’t let Justin get away with shit.

He’s using Shazam! Bless. I love Shazam.

Haha yeah, Craigslist (bad name with regards to this show, I know) was like grindr before grindr.

WHY ARE THEY CALLING EACH OTHER LOVER <- good question! It is so cringe, I cannot.

Don’t worry, Jen will get her redemption.

And yeah, Justin, stop bringing up Bri Bri… oh you can’t can you?

[asknightmareanderror]

I posted 219 times in 2022

186 posts created (85%)

33 posts reblogged (15%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@saltyscoby

@falysyu

@iinkxerror

@thunfire0605

@shinechermont

I tagged 191 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#asknightmareanderror - 186 posts

#nightmare sans - 178 posts

#error sans - 177 posts

#asks - 177 posts

#armageddon - 177 posts

#last judgement - 174 posts

#ship children - 42 posts

#ship kids - 41 posts

#blotch - 36 posts

#harp - 36 posts

Longest Tag: 70 characters

#i'm actuallly not sure if antiviruses can do anything to errors or not

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Night and Dream are boomers

Yes. Very much.

N - "...you do not need to remind me, I have my destroyers for that."

E - "Every day...we tell him."

K - "'You're ancient'."

H - "'Old man'."

Dust - "'When you gonna snuff it?'"

C - "'Do you need help getting up? You might break your spine'."

N - "...oh, the audacity..."

E - "Pretty sure Dream's still tryna figure out computers and phones...at least Night's got that down."

D - "I can use a computer and phone, thanks."

E - "Uh huuuh...sure, you can."

Dust - "The benefits of spying on the enemy..."

K - "You learn everything."

D - "...can I leave?"

No.

This is Purgatory.

You're welcome.

23 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

#4

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween, I hope you have a great, spooky day/night! Even if you’re staying inside like me :>

I was going to write a short story about how Nightmare ended up in a jumper too big for him, and how he doesn’t like Halloween, but stuff happened last night and I can’t do so right now. ;3;

So, there might be a story, there might not be, I hope you enjoy this drawing anyhow, there should be another coming on November 5th, for Holo and Gen’s birthday. Love y’all <3

(Please, don’t steal/repost, copy or trace it, or anyone else’s art,   for that matter. Reblogs are always greatly appreciated! <3)

57 notes - Posted October 31, 2022

#3

Wistful Bliss (Armageddon)

Y’all ever just want to build a pillow fort and just chill?

I need more pillows...

(Please, don’t steal/repost, copy or trace it, or anyone else’s art,   for that matter. Reblogs are always greatly appreciated! <3)    

92 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

#2

Sit With Me (Armageddon)

First time trying rain, and I think it looks okay (but I’ll try a different method next time).

Anywho, have these two, relaxing on a bench, because why not?

(Please, don’t steal/repost, copy or trace it, or anyone else’s art,  for that matter. Reblogs are always greatly appreciated! <3)

104 notes - Posted January 30, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I’m Back, Baby

Guess who’s baaack? With a new computer and drawing tablet >:3

Fully upgraded, I am. Have this drawing as a big thanks for your patience, you deserve it, you lovely hoomans! <333

(Please, don’t steal/repost, copy or trace it, or anyone else’s art, for that matter. Reblogs are always greatly appreciated! <3)  

108 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[jinanreona]

@fireandfae​ sent:

He looks up as the breeze shifts. "That hunter from Pomefiore is wandering too near for my senses." He glances down to where Kingscholar is squatted at the base of the tree Malleus is currently standing next to. "Do you intend to continue with your ridiculous arguments against my every suggestion, or do you plan to assist me in removing him from the game?"

Of all the people to be stuck with on Beanfest, Leona never thought it’d be Malleus Draconia of all people. He barely talked to the guy, much less liked him. It seemed to be quite mutual with how quickly they’d gotten into back and forths once they’d started ‘working together,’ Leona dismissing most of the other’s ideas every chance he had.

They had yet to move far from the Colosseum, Leona insisting staying close by made it easier for them to take down stray Farmers that felt bold enough to come straight for the Harp.

For a while it seemed to be just another way to get out of doing much work, though it pays off when there’s sudden movement. The lion notices just as the dragon does, ears perking as he looks out towards the steps leading up to the entrance.

Rook Hunt. Oh he’d enjoy wiping that content smile off the blond~ Maybe then the hunter would be quiet for once. The other’s voice draws him away from his thoughts, emerald eyes settling on Malleus. “...You make it sound like I’m the problem here~” Which couldn’t be right. He’d been pulling his weight around here. It wasn’t his fault he had to teach a hatchling how to do things right.

Still, he wasn’t about to argue here and now, and risk letting their target get away. “Tch fine, fine. Don’t be so pushy. I’ll help as long as the other team doesn’t win~,” he teases, flashing a brief smirk towards the other before he’s up and heading towards the entrance to cut the hunter off. He swears he hears Malleus say something else behind him, though makes not effort to stop and listen.

It works out though, Leona landing right on time to block the hunter's path to victory. Rook’s eyes grow wide, not having expected the lion’s sudden appearance. Just as the blond makes to backtrack, they’re both surprised when Malleus suddenly appears behind the Farmer, positioning himself just right to trap him between them. For a moment, Leona’s gaze lingers on the dragon, not having expected the other to pull through and go with his plan. So maybe working together wouldn’t be so bad...

...........Nah. 

He still rather get this over with. “Oi, lizard. You gonna bean him or am I supposed to do all the work here?,” he says after a moment, making a gesture for the other to hurry it up. They didn’t have all day to stand around after all. Besides... he could smell another person approaching.

[neptuniadoesstuff]

Random 2 am trash bcs I can't sleep at all

Yeh I'm just gonna go ahead & talk about my unhinged thoughts & heacanons about characters from a blob game (that are weirdly canon to my MO: Astray au) so let's just get on it bcs I can't sleep & I still need to work on bug-bel 2.0.

Here is is all of my weird unhinged headcanons which somehow are canon to my AU bcs idfk why tbh

Greenbel likes the taste of toothpaste & pretty much calls anything mint chocolate "toothpaste flavor" which makes EVERYONE IN THE LAB UNCOMFORTABLE! Especially his bf harper..

Greenbel may or may not eetin a frikin onion like a goddam orge

Greenbel may or may not eetin soap before

Greenbel MAY BE SECRETLY INSANE but everyone only really cuaght on when he tried to uh... make a humonculus of himself- (Which only ended up making Lumo)

Greenbel had no mom growing up so he had to grow up with a caretaker bcs his dad was working almost 24/7 (well more like 5 am to 10 pm & off work by sunday-)

Elara now has ptsd (thanks greenbel /s)

MO may or may not bit greenbel before

MO DESPISES being held by her... his.. idfk- it's tail- (Blobs don't have a concept of gender even though in canon MO is called a lil guy by its mom but idk I'm more leaning towards female for MO than male- again BLOBS DONT HAVE A CONCEPT OF GENDER & NEVER WILL)

Both Harp & Jeremiah had a kid with one another named Irwin but Irwin don't know Harp is his 2nd dad- (Also Harp has a 20 smtn yr old son whom he adopted when the guy was only around 15 or so)

Female inhabitants are green like the female chimeras.

Sirius doesn't know how to use a shotgun BUT knows how to use a frikin rifle- (Yeh I'm slandering him-)

Now for my abnormally unhinged thoughts/ideas bcs IM INSANE!

I may or may not wanna draw a few cursed images & one of them is uh... Greenbel pregnant but someone is PROB GONNA QEUSTION WHY IM DRAWING A BLONDE MAN PREGNANT (But i do joke about Sirius being dummy thicc which goes to show my abnormally weird & bad humor despite the fact I'm literally aro ace-)

Day 16: Draw blob greenbel in a jar & draw him getting yeeted by Sirius.

MAKE SIRIUS HAVE MORE MAKEUP- /JJJ

Draw Jeremiah as a frog for day 18 bcs apparently by Animal crossing Jeremiah is a phrog name-

Day 25, draw MO with a party hat but also eeting some meat bcs yes. (Dont ask what kind of meat tho-)

IDK MAYBE FOR DAY 31 I CAN DRAW THE CREW AS THE BOSSES BCS WHY NOT-

[predoom]

8/14/08

Thursday, August 14, 2008 crasy is just a perspective. (i am sid and nancy) i feel like i owe you something after tonight. this is an oldie. i dont know why im sharing this wrote this one sometime after i shoulda just been comatose in a best buy parking lot,ive never said this before and i wont ever really talk about it. please dont repost.... no edits:

"This is where the story begins, not linearly but more like this is where it stalled out. Like “back after the commercial” pause that never ends or the humming with the “be patient. We’re having technical difficulties” sign. St. Valentine’s Day massacre of the brain cells. 8 blue ones will do that, anyone in a white coat will tell you. You’re in your sister’s car on the phone with managers, psychiatrists, and your mom. You love to hate attention. You hate to love attention. They’re telling you to drive to the emergency room. It’s so predictable. ‘I am only telling you this to set the scene’. The cold February air is sobering but unforgiving. It feels like there are insects buzzing through your veins. It’s funny the way the black night sky into the double-doored white-lit corridor of northwestern hospital is like heaven, in the movies. The only thing missing is overweight baby angels and some harps. They are unfortunately on back order. “You know what the Midwest is? Young and restless” is playing on the speakers at the door. Your mom laughs nervously in the waiting room- the thing inside your head bothers her far more than it bothers you. There is a fish tank on the right side of the room, over there, just between the bleeders. The fish in the tank are all a brilliant blue. They are the first thing you circle in a “what does not belong in this picture” quiz. You are mesmerized. An old woman with a bandage wrapped around her head, you know like from the old days, stands right in front of you obscuring your view. She needs them more than you do. They call your name and take you into the next room. The security guard looks at you in a “the fuck are you gonna do” kind of way but then settles into boredom. You almost feel like you owe him a tantrum or some kind of psychotic episode. They say undress and put on the gown. You want to call her up because she knows just how to get you out of your clothes. “You can’t have those in here,” the guard says pointing at your shoes. "The laces are considered a suicide risk. The lights are bright and the door is open- nothing is going on here. You aren’t getting away with anything. You ask them for a pen and paper to write down all the details. They are also considered a suicide risk too and are denied. You tell them in that case it won’t be your fault when your memory is blurry and you don’t get any of this right. ‘I am only telling you this because it’s possible that none of this is right’. They make everything the whitest white in the hospital. The lights are so white they burn your skin or maybe you are just imagining things. It makes you feel more alone than you ever have before. You are lying on a gurney that hundreds of people have died on before. You lift yourself off of it quickly so none of their memories seep into you. You look around to make sure that no one saw you do this, no one saw you acting “crazy”. The security guard is staring at you with the “just give me a fucking reason” look but settles back into the monotony. You cough but you’re feeling down and kind of light and get worried you might blow yourself away- you hold on tight to the rails.

The crisis counselor comes into the room and shuts the door but she asks the guard to open the blinds and watch through the window. Now you are the brilliant blue fish in the tank with him watching. Swimming, not quite as brilliant, just as blue. A nurse comes in to draw your blood. She puts the needle in and you get kind of nervous that she is gonna pull “the boy” out of you. ‘Yes I did just drop that reference. I’m okay like that’. The crisis counselor is a fucking amateur. If she had her shit together you suppose that she would be in some nice building in the suburbs with a receptionist- make 200 for 45-minute sessions. She’s fucking farm club not even minor league ball. You on the other hand have read The Pill Book from front to back. You could talk your way out of anything. But you’re too busy swimming for the guard. She says she won’t admit you to the hospital if you’ll sign a contract saying you won’t hurt yourself. You actually laugh out loud at the thought of anyone depressed enough to kill themselves being stopped by a piece of paper. It’s like slitting your wrists over a sink so you won’t make a mess. You joke her “imp gonna have to go over this with my lawyer. And send back some markups”. She’s not impressed. Crisis counselor A is followed by B and so forth- it’s getting hard for you to keep your story straight. You feel yourself bending it just to keep it interesting, adding minute details, waiting for compliments on your storytelling ability. I'm only writing this because I shouldn’t’. You call the one person who matters from the gurney and say, “the Capulets and Montagues don’t have shit on me and you”. You are pretty sure you got her voicemail. You call back and apologize for leaving the first message. You are talking into a phone that doesn’t exist to a girl that doesn’t matter anymore. But who are you kidding; it takes a bit of time to get in or out of your system, the same as any drug. You fall asleep in the room. Your dreams are sterile and uninfected.

Wake up; the thought of having a conversation with another human being makes you throw up. You are noticing the way everyone is talking about you- not in a conspiring against you kind of way- and again not in a “the world revolves around you” kind of way- but more the way a doctor and family member would have a conversation over the bed of someone in a coma. “I hope it’s not serious. Is he going to be the same? Will he wake up?”. You understand why there aren’t mirrors in places like this. No one wants to see their cried out eyes or stitched up faces. Every time you look in a mirror you remember you are always one second away from crying or getting it right. It’s fucking pathetic. You pitch and turn. You can’t control your head right now on the inside, there’s no way of describing it. The closest you can come is the movie where the paralyzed man drowns in the bottom of a swimming pool. Your head is that scene. You shut your eyes and disappear off of the face of the planet but only for a second so no one notices. ‘Im only telling you this so you know things could have turned out so much differently’. You are a set of circumstances, nothing more, variables. The only important part of this from the start was: you in your sister’s car in the past tense, YOU in the past tense, almost but not quite.

====this is some old shit. unaltered.. from a specific moment.

posted by xo at 1:16 AM

[infinitelytheheartexpands]

Un ballo in maschera (Met, 1980): Reactions, Part III

this opera could have so easily been solved if polyamory was widely accepted

surely we can come up with a solution more reasonable than *checks notes* killing your wife? no? well i tried

“silence, adulteress!” “almighty god!” “ask him for mercy!”

not gonna lie, that exchange is kinda baller

YES GO OFF AMELIA

once again, BURYING THE LEDE (that renato and amelia are PARENTS)

brava!!! also this aria is *insert incoherent noises* it gets you good 😭

love how the cameraperson just zooms in the portrait on whoever’s being referred to in the text

evidently that aria also got him good enough to make him no longer want to kill her

okay, see, now killing riccardo isn’t a good solution either

is that supposed to be the pav???

“ERI TUUUUUUUUUUU CHE MACCHIAAAAAAAAVI QUELL’AAAAAAAAAANIMA”

this aria just has everything i love it so much

you’re not winning any Dad of the Year awards any time soon—holding your kid hostage (essentially) ain’t okay

i may have known this opera for over eight years now, but to this day i cannot tell you who is sam and who is tom in the opera. i simply cannot.

(also LOVE backing this super-martial ensemble with harps played almost like they’re percussion instruments)

let’s have a raffle!

on a scale from 1 to 10 of how unnecessarily but wonderfully extra something is, making your wife draw the name of who will kill a guy she loves (your former bestie and current boss) has to be at least a 17

verdi did not have to go so hard writing this lot drawing scene but he did and i am extremely thankful

congrats on winning the murder raffle i guess

my little ball of sunshine has returned!!!

rooooooooooooooll credits!

“oscar no don’t look at the papers for the murder raffle!”

“what? this? idk what you just said but heehee it probably isn’t important” *crumbles it up*

oh sweet summer child

an absolute KNOCKOUT of an ensemble

amelia/oscar absolute BROTP

this scene is legit so sad. ungh.

Area Tenor Is Actually Able To Make Sacrifices

totally not foreshadowing!

AWWWWWWW HE’S A MINI ME OF RICCARDO

dude you going to the ball ESPECIALLY AFTER BEING SPECIFICALLY WARNED NOT TO is a TERRIBLE idea

tenors…

and here we are at last!!! at the BALLO IN MASCHERA!!!

(also @ the met audience: you do not have to clap for a set just because there is a chandelier)

girlies’ night out

rude

love this aria, love this character, love the device of freezing background characters

the pageboy squad!

nooooooooooooo don’t manipulate the innocent trouser role

“oh fuck! i, the innocent trouser role, just got manipulated”

the masked ball music just objectively slaps!

gasps of amazement for THE BRITISH

it’s a wedding cake dress

opera logic: taking off your masks at a masked ball while you are actively being sought!

most awkward way to break up with your…”well it’s complicated” not-quite-girlfriend ever

at least it’s not a kitchen knife! (also uh…at least the australian director got our country’s favorite way of killing people correct?)

nooooooooooooooooooo

fastest way to ruin a perfectly good party smh

poor oscar just sitting there helplessly also someone PLEASE give the party band the memo

L for riccardo for having to talk about being in love with his bestie’s wife in front of everyone tbh

Area Baritone Realizes He Fucked Up

at least he forgave them!

this little chorus right here is so beautiful and so sad

NOT HIM HUGGING OSCAR 😭😭😭

and the look of just total HORROR on oscar’s face when he falls

rip riccardo :(

grief bonding moment

to quote an iconic post that i don’t remember who posted it right now, “we don’t like this ball anymore”

and that’s the end! one of verdi’s very best