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sebaztianlovesgeek · 11 months ago

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I am annoyed with parents of gen alpha kids

So, shocker, gen alpha kids are basically being raised by the internet, this is just me gonna be ranting about it.

(keep in mind not all parents of gen alpha children do this or have bad intentions so please don't get upset with me)

So I began realising the state of gen alpha back in late 2022, when my then 7 and 8 year old sisters (who are not gen alpha but are very late gen z kids) were joking about sex, I was a bit concerned so I asked them how they knew what it was and who/what told them, I wasn't being intimidating or angry at them because I understand kids accidentally find out about sex all the time, wether that be from another kid telling them or them accidentally seeing a video about it, or simply hearing a joke about sex and not understanding it but repeating it because it sounds funny.

My sisters did nothing but laugh at me for asking. A few months later they were talking about sex again, so I asked them "What is sex?" Trying to see what they knew about it, my then 7 year old sister who we'll call G (we'll call the other F) said "Its when 2 people get naked, rub up against each other in bed and make funny noises" I'm grateful they didn't know the actual definition but its still concerning how they know what the word means.

My 2 sisters, mainly G as she's younger have been getting more out of control these past few years since covid. They have been OBSESSED with youtube shorts to the point where they barely watch actual full length youtube videos unless its a compilation of TikTok POVs, I've overheard some of the things said on the TikTok POV videos and surprise surprise, it talks about subjects that are not for kids like sex, drugs and the people in these POV videos often swear.

My sisters ALSO watch a lot of elsagate crap, you're probably wondering "but elsagate died down back in the late 2010's?" Well in recent years its resurfaced, instead of popular kids cartoon and movie characters like spiderman, mickey mouse, joker, peppa pig and of course, Elsa, they now use popular video game/internet characters like Huggy Wuggy, Skibidi Toilets, Freddy Fazbear and characters from the Amazing Digital Circus.

I was also a victim of elsagate as I was on youtube when the first wave hit, you will not believe the amount of "Elsa and Spiderman inject Joker with a needle and eat bugs" type videos I watched when I was young, and now that I know them videos probably did harm to me during my childhood I don't want it to happen to my siblings, majority of the authority figures in my life don't really care, most of them are millennials or even older, they don't really understand how the internet works and don't pay attention to the seemingly kid friendly elsagate videos my siblings watch on youtube long enough to see all of the innapropriate stuff happening in them, all they know is "G and F are watching a funny cartoon with that blue poppy playtime character"

Most of these new wave elsagate videos are fastly paced and overstimulating, I have heard this can have bad psychological effects on young kids, this is what causes them to have low attention spans and behaviour issues, I mean G literally got bored watching renaissance Disney movies like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and the Lion King, I would understand a kid getting bored watching Hunchback as it touches on more mature subjects which may be hard for them to understand, but she also got bored during the LION KING, which is also a mature film but is more kid friendly with brighter colours, upbeat songs and funny characters like Timon and Pumba, SHE COULDN'T EVEN GET THROUGH THAT.

I have seen countless videos on TikTok of preschool teachers going mad because younger kids are not focusing or behaving and keep talking about sex. Apparently one time a 5 year old said that his teacher had a "nice gyatt" which is basically slang for "nice butt".

I've also heard stories of ballet teachers getting requests from 6-8 year olds requesting to twerk to inappropriate music like WAP, CPR, Squidwards Nose, basically any Cupcakke song (which no hate to Cupcakke or anyone involved with these songs, I actually think grilling n**gas by Cupcakke is a fun listen as well as Squidwards Nose but it obviously shouldn't be listened to or danced to by little kids)

Now, I have seen many people online making fun of gen alpha kids/late gen z kids for having brainrot from watching stuff like this, but its not exactly their fault. When I was young it wasn't my fault I was watching all of those Elsa and Spiderman get pregnant and get an injection videos, nor is it the gen alpha kids fault they watch Skibidi Toilet and Pomni from Digital Circus has an "awesome gyatt" videos.

I think its more to blame on the parents who give an ipad to a 4 year old and pretend its a robotic babysitter, because its not, on the internet in general, not just youtube, its easy to come across some harmful content and people. For example I was watching My Little Pony vore videos (because yes I used to be a huge brony when I was young) not knowing what it was or how I was basically watching a fetish take place because all I knew my favourite character Rainbow Dash was about to be eaten by Rarity or Pinkie Pie (and speaking of Pinkie Pie I will not get started on Smile or Cupcakes HD)

Throughout this rant I have forgotten to mention I have a 2 year old baby brother (my family is complicated so thats why I have a lot of siblings younger than me) who thank god doesn't have an ipad yet but he watches Cocomelon, I have seen countless articles by parents talking about their toddlers getting addicted to Cocomelon like a drug and crying and screaming when they can't watch it.

I hope one day one of our authority figures like my Mum or grandparents can talk to my siblings about why this stuff is not for them, why watching "Skibidi toilet sniff Huggy Wuggy's gyatt while moaning" is just wrong, whenever I try to talk to them about it they just laugh at me, because I'm their "dumb older brother"

I don't want to seem like those old boomers everyone makes fun of who say "YOU DARN KIDS WITH YOUR BRAINFRYING INTERWEB!!!!!!!!" But I do want to be an older sibling who cares, the internet causes major mental and psychological issues if one uses it at a young age and becomes addicted especially if they consume harmful content like elsagate, I of all people know that, I experienced elsagate, I was bullied and told to KMS on amino multiple times because my fanarts were cringe, I watched scary jumpscare videos that gave me nightmares, I of course, saw all of them violent and sexual my little pony fan animations, I till this day still have mental health issues, and while these experiences online are not the only cause as I have been through a lot on the internet and real life, I simply worry for my younger family members and just the younger generation overall.

If you're a parent or older sibling of a young child, please make sure they are staying safe online, make sure to check on them and only let them watch content appropriate for their age, of course I'm not saying sugar coat everything, its okay to introduce your child to mature subjects every once in a while, but unlike these gross elsagate videos do it in a mature and understanding way, maybe when introducing the concept of death show them movies like Coco, Puss In Boots: The Last Wish or Guillermo del Toro's Pinocchio, or when discussing things like growing up show them Inside Out or Toy Story 3

#rant #elsagate #gen alpha #kids content #younger generation #gen z #millenials #gen x #older siblings #older brother core #younger siblings #baby siblings #mature #mature topics

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fallouttboy · 9 months ago

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Growing Up Queer and Online: an introspective essay (by a queer person)

content warning: queer slur use (fag/faggot/tranny) as commentary from online language used, as well as **solely** internalized homophobia and transphobia

Growing up in online spaces as a queer person in the early 2000s was an experience that I don’t fully know how to put into words. It was great to be able to be in like-communities from such a young age, seeing people my age and a few years older in the queer community instead of being thirteen and newly questioning surrounded by comfortably queer middle aged people (not that there is anything wrong with that, there is just a need for similar aged socialization, of course). The online-ness of it all opened up doors to the queer youth that the elder queers simply did not have, and for that I am thankful. Unfortunately, just as older queer people face(d) violence and uproar in public places, queer youth also face(d) harassment online.

While there is a large number of queer people online as of right now, it wasn’t always like this. The internet now is incredibly customizable- anything you click on creates an algorithm specified just for you, social media is largely algorithmical now (especially with the rise of short form video platforms like Tiktok and even Youtube), even ads are catered to your eye because of what you’ve looked up or downloaded. Everyone is watching, all of the time.

When I was younger, say, 2011, I vividly remember logging into Youtube and watching a new video by some guy who would later be known as a Youtube Star, or an Internet Celebrity, or some equally impressive yet entirely useless title (I say useless, because while it can pay well and it can gain you fame and therefore notoriety, it is entirely based on algorithm now. You can be a Youtube Star and not get the view count in one month that you needed and you are back to grinding out videos just to hit an algorithm at the right time), make a joke at the expense of queer people. What’s one guy though, right?

It wasn’t just him. It was his friends, it was his colleagues. They all made jokes at the expense of queer people. It wasn’t just the known media presences though, it was so incredibly difficult to go anywhere online that had an open forum or comment section without seeing a barrage of people saying “that’s so gay!” or “ur gay” as an insult. Gay as an adjective was then presented online as something synonymous with bad things and became an insult that many people dreaded being called.

Being called queer and any of its specific terms has historically been used as insults, yes, though that was not in the online world. Before the rise of the internet and the public forum and ability for any person to gain a voice, either through text or other means, harassment could generally be contained. There were people of power (and without) who spoke negatively about queerness and reached a large scope of people, and we cannot forget the riots that queer people have been beginning in opposition to those people’s treatments, for decades. This is simply a new means of harassment, and unfortunately, this one could be accessed by anyone, at any time. It could not truly be contained; the sheer magnitude of people on the internet at any given time combined with the censorship laws currently and previously active, so much can and could have been said. So much was said.

I remember hearing the videos of people that I looked up to making queer jokes. I remember hearing them say faggot and dyke and other terms for queer people that are generally considered offensive. I remember them saying these things and laughing about it, clearly showing that they do not care about the implications of what they are saying. I remember reading comments on Youtube and in the journals on DeviantArt and LiveJournal saying that things were “gay” or that an effeminate man was apparently gay or that a more masculine woman was a “tranny” or “dyke” and I wasn’t even old enough to know what those words meant, all I knew was that they were insults, and things that I should avoid being called.

Cut to when I turned twelve or thirteen and I started understanding that I was queer. People were still making these jokes. People were still being insulting at the expense of queer people. Thankfully, the musicians I was listening to at the time had stopped using derogatory language, but not everyone had. There was a rise of queer people, it seemed, and they were all angry. Angry at the government, angry at the state of things, so they started talking about it. Some people made blogs for it, some people made Youtube channels or started talking about it on their preexisting channels. But the harassment continued.

Since I was questioning and researching queerness and how it potentially would impact me, I also began to realize that oh no, I am what they’ve been saying. It’s a troubling thought to have as a freshly turned teen. It’s a big thought to have, ever.

I know I’m not gay, I’m not flamboyant and I don’t speak with a lisp or kiss boys (I don’t kiss anyone) or “suck dick”, whatever that means. I don’t think I’m ill natured or cruel or offensive or stupid, or whatever else the negative connotations explore. I’m not a tranny; I don’t shove things in my pants or down my shirt, I don’t want to be a boy, I don’t look like them. But…even if I did, why is that a bad thing? I’m a girl…and I want bigger boobs and longer hair. If I was a girl but wanted to be a boy…then of course I’d cut my hair and hope and pray that I never get boobs. And if I was a boy and wanted to be a girl…then yeah, I’d put oranges in my shirt and try and wear shorter shorts or grow my hair out. Why are people so mean to them? Girls who want to be girls get to want to look like a girl, and boys who want to be boys get to want to look like a boy…why can’t the people who don’t want to be that?

I was thirteen. I shouldn’t have had to be thinking like that. I ignored a lot of the queer harassment because I simply told myself that I was not those things. I wanted to kiss girls, but I wasn’t gay. I wanted to be less girly and more boyish but still be a girl but not A Girl, but I wasn’t a tranny. I didn’t know these things yet either. I didn’t know who I was, but I knew I wasn’t that.

Throughout my teenage years there was a lot of questioning and false identifications that would later be amended. I saw gay marriage become legal in America and I cried at my laptop because that meant that one day, maybe I could get married. I saw the queer people that I had followed on various social media sites rejoice and cry and get married. I saw wedding pictures of women kissing women and men kissing men for the first time in my entire life at age fifteen. Even though I didn’t quite understand, I knew the magnitude of this event. I had kissed girls before, but now something in the air shifted, and it didn’t feel as taboo anymore.

I was twenty one when I went to my first pride. By this point, I had seen the fall of what seemed like improvement and the rise of ignorance and sheer cruelty take over once more. I remembered the Pulse nightclub shooting. I made a collage for my final project in my AP art history class in high school that was entirely focused on queerness. It was a direct oppositional creation to Illustration from The Results of the First Five-Year Plan by Varvara Stepanova. I was fifteen in gym class walking around the commons area of my school with my then girlfriend, not holding hands or anything, being followed from behind by a classmate dragging a trash can calling us faggots, spurred on by his friend standing on the sidelines calling us dykes. My school was not inclusive-forward on the queer front, though I am aware that others have it much worse. All of that to say, when I was at my first pride, I was overwhelmed. I had my group of friends who, all but one, were queer. My uncle and dad had one gay friend that I have known since my childhood, but that is it. I had never seen that many queer people in my life. Further, I had never seen that many happy queer people in my life. In a dark part of my mind, I didn’t think it was possible.

And slowly, the internet has become a safer space for queerness. There are still an abundance of trolls and cruelty online, but there is also an enormous boom of queer youth that puts up with none of it. There are parts of me that hate the censorship of queer terms like fag/faggot/etc, but I also understand where it is coming from; as a kid growing up online, I just knew those were bad things. And they’re slurs, yes, but they also have a deep connection with identity within the queer community.

As queerness became less taboo online, more creators from my childhood began coming out. Probably the most prominent ones for me are youtubers Dan and Phil. I’ve been watching them for years, over a decade now, about half of my whole life. I have watched them make jokes that are in bad taste, apologize truthfully, and move on with grace. And they came out, and to say I was in shock is an understatement.

Like any preteen, chronically online, fandom obsessed girl, I loved the idea of them being a couple. I shipped it. I’ll say it. But more than that, the reality is that they truly are just the best of best friends that I had ever seen. To spend ten plus years of your life with a stranger you met online was truly the dream for me; socializing is hard and scary in real life but online I can say anything behind a screen. That’s proven with the half-assed apologies that other Creators have posted time and time again, paired with their empty promises of changing. That is to say, I was always sort of hoping that they were gay, if not to appease my silly little fiction, then to connect with them on a deeper level that I already parasocially did.

I wept when Dan came out. Basically I’m Gay is a beautiful, devastating coming out that hits almost too close to home for me. So much of the things Dan talks about, I have also gone through. Being a queer kid is difficult. Being queer and online is difficult. Being a queer kid online is impossible. Everything you see hurts you in ways that you don’t fully even understand why. You just feel a dull, heavy throb and a hairline fracture in your heart. You don’t know why. You assume it’s empathy. You never assume it’s because they’re part of who you are. That would mean admitting the worst: I am gay.

Now that they are both out, the duo joke about their queerness and pop dirty remarks about gay sex here and there, and it isn’t out of cruelty. It is oneness. It is a hate comment on a video that says “suck a dick” and a response of “when and where, baby ;)”. It is a joke, yes, but it’s laced in honesty. In openness. In bravery.

Being queer in online spaces has been less of a rollercoaster and more of a ride that goes down the side of a mountain and then slowly creeps up the hill. We are in the creeping stage, I believe. Media as a whole was downright disgusting to queerness in the early 2000s, ranging from music to television to movies and games and even the internet. Something shifted, though, and now it seems that things might be getting better. There will always be creators who joke insensitively. There will always be hate commenters. But there will also always be the Dan’s and the Phil’s. There will always be you and I. There will always be the ones who stand up for injustices. Sometimes you just have to get through the shit to see the sun.

#mine #w #queer #online culture #dnp

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ravenwolfie97 · 10 months ago

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okay i have to talk about this because it's been really bothering me lately and i need to say something before i explode

so lately i've been noticing on many videos, shortform or otherwise, that they include subtitles! awesome! super helpful and cool

but idk if it's always been a problem and i'm only noticing it now, or if it's gotten particularly bad lately, but... recently a lot of those subtitles are really really bad

slight tangential anecdote: i used to do some freelance captioning work in between real job hunting, and it was a good experience. i was already interested in doing it, obviously, but i was coached on proper captioning etiquette and guidelines to make it look as nice and readable as possible while also transcribing the audio as best as i could before my superiors would touch it up. so i do know a thing or two about proper subtitling, but even if you didn't you would Know that there are some serious problems right now

i'll give a few non-specific examples (bc i'm too lazy to hunt them down to show you). there is a pretty popular (i think) youtube shorts personality who mostly does reaction-based videos, like i think it's actually mostly tiktok stitches reuploaded to yt shorts. but anyway this person, along with most other tiktok people who have subtitles for their lil internet rambles, are probably only basing off of their voice, like there's some kind of auto-caption that gets most of the words right, save for a couple small ones. i can understand that especially for the reaction/vlog crowd who are just trying to pump out videos, but like. i also follow john and hank green. they also reupload their tiktok stitches to yt shorts and have subtitles. and guess what? they're flawless. immaculate. you Can change them. or maybe they just talk better idk my point still stands that there is issue here stemming from having the computer do it with minimal to no touch-up. which leads me to my next example

one of the first nails in the coffin recently was this one pokemon youtube shorts guy i kept getting where he'd look into old game saves. all of the videos are subtitled, but similar to the tiktoks, it appears to be transcribing the voice on its own. what's worse and the most important here is that - remember - this is a series of pokemon videos. saying a pokemon name and expecting an AI to understand what that is out the gate is insane. and it doesn't. any time a pokemon's name is said, it just spews out words that are vaguely similar-sounding standard english words. and it's never the same each time too, which is fun. this is where taking the time to edit or even give a smidge of a damn to the craft of your video really would mean a lot, because for as many as i've seen it turns me even more off every time i see those shitty subtitles. but unfortunately that's not the worst i've seen in the last few days

the one that hurt me so much i physically could not stand it, to the point that i left a Comment on how bad it was, was an edit of a streamer's twitch VOD. normally, this streamer uploads snippets of their streams to yt shorts and has really good and well-edited captions there! i usually have nothing to complain about from this guy. but this one particular video... i don't know if it's because it's an older VOD and someone's just been holding on to it for months, or if it was a huge rush job, or What. but this video had literally the worst captions i had ever seen. they were just slapped down in chunks, not even lining up with the people who were talking, a negligible amount of punctuation, literally the barest minimum of effort. but that's not all! let's not forget that this is an edited clipshow, and there are Effects and Transitions for not only the video itself but the text as well! so SOME amount of effort was put into this because it got actually edited into a decent-sized video instead of just being a small clip. it's literally makes me sick i am so unhappy about it

main point, TL;DR, moral of the story: for the love of all that is holy, please remember that captioning is literally an accessibility feature. some people cannot hear or are unable to listen to videos sometimes, and i can't imagine what a hearing-impaired person who relies on subtitles to engage with videos would think watching either of my last two examples. what makes it worse, too, is that i can't even tell these people to hire someone to do it for them, because oftentimes they DO have people to do that work for them. and they still fuck it up. and then they continue on, to churn out more content. ugh just take a moment to remember that captions are not just for engagement. they're a tool, and some people can use only those as their guide through your video. don't make it impossible to parse. the purpose of them is to be read and understood. and you can't do that if the sentences are in overlapping chunks or if your words are too non-standard to be translated by a computer

#they at least all do a better job at captioning than youtube's built-in auto feature #it's okay in a pinch but it's really. really not good #but man do y'all remember when they Came Out with closed captioning and how incredibly and genuinely awful it was?#as well as unintentionally hilarious?#i must be one of the only people as obsessed with rhett and link's multi-layered cc translation series of videos today as from eons ago #a many charisma wrist to you and to all a good night

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amzelindistress · 1 year ago

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dear diary, mood: apathetic

i am drowning in hobbies and goals and ideas and aspirations and debt. executive dysfunction is a bitch. there's so much i want to do. so much that i long for. but instead, i sit here, scrolling the same five websites/apps i always scroll and do nothing productive. tiktok. facebook. youtube. snapchat. spotify. mindless things to dissociate to.

the past few years have been a blur. time is moving by so fast. i reconnected with my cousin and i'm enjoying being able to talk to her again, to be there for her. i've longed to have more familial connections. i've never been that close to anyone but my parents and my grandma. but family isn't just blood. i'm happy to also have my dear friends, as few as they are.

i'm tired. i spend my days living in a sleepy haze. i can never seem to catch my breath or come out of this fog. sleep apnea, arthritis, or depression? who knows.

boiled and fried potatoes. (this is random, but we're having them tonight for dinner and they're my favorite i could smash three plates of them and have no regrets) (also it rhymed lol)

T (hi T) inspired me to start writing/journaling, so here i am. i think i want to get back into writing in general. short stories, novels. i miss my fanfiction era. i found my old zoey 101 fanfic. i wish i could remember my other accounts. beyblade was my favorite thing to write about. memories.

i use grammarly for work, but holy shit is it annoying when i'm just trying to write down my thoughts. god, fuck off.

#journal #diary

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ketchup-monthly · 2 months ago

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In terms of recreational reading? This is awful,but I think it's very reflective of how we as people are actually consuming media--that is to say only in tiny bite-sized pieces, and missing a lot of context. Recreational reading is to your own discretion. You don't want to read? Don't read. You do want to read and you have the time for it? Absolutely do it. No one is making you read for fun.

That being said........I am a graduate student in the humanities. I have to read so much every night and there are speed reading and skimming strategies I have to use so I can even keep up with my classwork. There are ways of speed reading books and getting all the information from it that you need in as little time/reading as possible. Those work for academic books, and research essays/speeches/collections. They do not work for literature, or books that have actual plots because individual lines are more important.

I won't sit here and preach to people about how to read. I, personally, like to read, and have since I was a kid because my parents fostered that love of learning when I was young and just learning how to read. I know people who don't like reading or have difficulty reading words but love listening to audiobooks. I've recently gotten into reading the Thrawn (2017) series and the Thrawn Ascendency series thanks to the audiobooks. Do I struggle to listen to them? Yes. But if I can't listen to it on a day, I just set it down and try to listen to it again later. Do I struggle reading physical books recreationally sometimes but have infinite energy for fanfiction? Yes. I get burned out by school easily. But no one forces me to read for fun. I choose to.

I won't tell people they can or can't read a certain way. But I will stand here, as someone with a degree and has had to read several dozen books over the course of my college career, and interacted with several types of readers through those classes. One in particular stands out, as one of my favorite classes I took and by far the best english lit class i took to get my english minor, with one of the best subjects. It was an American Horror lit class, and every novel we had focused on a different type of horror lit or a different demographic. It was my final semester, I was very invested in this discussion-based class, and about half the students were 16-17 years old and in high school dual enrollment students who did not do the readings, did not talk in class, and spent the entire time messing around on their laptops. It may have been that we had very different ways of looking at the classes we were taking. Maybe they didn't feel like reading. Maybe they just didn't want to talk in class. Maybe it was related to the fact that they were 4-5 years younger than me and still in high school but were taking college classes. I don't know. But what I do know is each of those books we read over the semester were interesting and yeah. There were some big paragraphs. But in reading those for a class where the deeper meaning is really important, those large paragraphs were necessary to get that.

I knew students from that same class who just read the SparkNotes and looked at the professors PowerPoint slides (that had paragraphs on it that we were reading more closely) ahead of time to get as much context as they could and filled in the blanks from my answers to questions and discussions as well as those from other students. They could get by, but they still missed a lot.

Sparknotes are easier to read. They get you the main big ideas but don't get you the proper meat and potatoes. Social media has moved our perceptions of how to consume information away from reading or watching long form media to quick 30 second snippets of information, through various platforms (cough cough tiktok, Instagram reels, and YouTube shorts). I'll admit I watch YouTube shorts or just watch a short YouTube video instead of longer TV shows or movies because they require less energy. I know that reading a short article on the presidential debate will get me some information but in reading it I missed a lot of what actually happened. Everything being easily accessible in short form has caused us to get impatient and not want to wait for however long it takes to read the novel, watch the show, listen to the debate, or even read the long paragraph. Learn patience. Practice patience. Sometimes the short form media works but a lot of time it means you miss out on something important.

This was a long winded way of saying that skimming and speed-reading work in some academic spaces, but if you're speed reading or skimming or skipping paragraphs when reading recreationally, then is it really reading recreationally?

Do they know that reading is not mandatory? Nobody is forcing them to read?

#sorry for the rant this is just something im very passionate about #and this is just one persons perspective #not inclusive of everyones ideas or opinions or perspectives #literature #media literacy #ketchup reblogs #ketchup talks

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evonkyva · 5 months ago

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I'm sorry but I just need to get something off my.chest - I really.hate the modern day culture of men and how they flock to any man defense as long as that man is straight and violent.

Tw for misongy and maybe mksandry if you think calling men outis sk.ehkw disrespectful to men and the word g3apist and r3pe

When I talk about the modern day culture of men I literally.mean the hivemind that mold and shape and sticks and produces just like sludge brain comment with gaslighting in a fake scholarly way

I am going through my youtube shorts aka tiktok wannabes and tdlr the short about a character who

- comment on how attractive an women ass is

- attempt to get in bed with this same women character clearly against her will ans she is pushing him back out with her fist on his face

- kidnaps a female child

- and preceed to invite you to a dinner where all dishes look like male or female humans Genitalla

Let's get one thing straight before I continue; I like grapist IN FICTION, I like murderer in FICTION, I dont have an isssuse with characters that in real life I wouldn't not wanna be on the same content or planet if I could help. That being said men who are probably wrote the comments I'm gonna paraphrase:

- either are anti feminists or think feminism kill more people than the holocaust

- think women are evil money stealing shallow harpies and the only good ones are under the age of 16 and should be trained

- completely understand a women oppression and often used the vocabulary to .protect men" men shouldn't be accountability for grading women cause a WOMEN SHOULD BE ACCOUNTABLE for what she wear

- are ten year old edge lords slowly being absorbed into red pill community by mra who are actually the worst thing for men but that's a different topics

These were the comments on the YouTube ahort about this character :

- him turning into a monster was sane I turn into a monster to if I couldn't get pussy

- a four paragraph about how a man who kidnapped female children, commented on women body in a way that by most could be perceived and made you eat food that look like dick and balls was actually a failed artist and life and like another character who was I a completely different situation but happens to be a man , he is normal

- that this character only "kidnapped" the women because she the equivalent of peach and he is bowser

- the child is Hella r³peable and he could see the point

- it's not his fault women can't handle men staring at thier ass , saying they want to penetrate thier ass as a compliment how are men suppose to know that's a bad thing when they (men ) are biologically incline to do such

- he not a menace. He's a man

........

.......

I do believe that men are in a place where thier mental health sucks . Where no one cares if they get grape, or assault espcially by women where they are expected to.operated in a way in the world that is unfair and alof of times impossible

But the biggest opp to men will.always be the culture of modern day men. The idea that men are simultaneously victims of patriachy but jump over hill to be nothing more than living dildos who don't question why the patriachy doesn't provide them the jobs thay got them the wives but instead make excuse for it like a depressed son to a disappointing father , I don't wanna hear shit about men isssuses ( as in im tired of hearing men begging women to be nicer and talking about how insafe they feel aroind women and in the same breath how women womt even go near them with no self-awareness awareness ) when the modern culture of men and the patriachy are men biggest opp to liberation.

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deyadee · 6 months ago

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My Account(s) Got Deleted

I probably haven’t mentioned this before because honestly I was embarrassed for having one, but for the past few months- maybe since November, I had a TikTok account. Originally I made it so that eventually I could make YouTube videos because to that point I was horrified at hearing my own voice on recording. I figured if I could crap put some random video here and there I’d eventually be ok to move on to actually making bigger more essay-style videos.

After about 150ish videos I got decently popular with 500 followers, 38.3k likes, and 88k views on my top video with pretty consistent rates. Near the end I had 1000 views or more on even my not-as-great videos. I got a confidence boost from it getting comments saying I was actually pretty funny or was entertaining to watch. Since I never appeared on camera, only showing my hands and voicing over top of the footage I never got any comments about how fucking ugly and fat I was. I felt like I was actually good at something in my damn life for once. I mainly made videos about my hyper focuses, anime, monster high, movies things like that. I felt really happy when people would say they’d watch one of the weirder anime I talked about because I convinced them to.

Though a few days ago, I went to check my account first thing in the morning because I liked looking at the comments people had left on my videos after I fell asleep. Only instead I was met with an alternate account that I set up like two years ago for this unboxing series I was doing with a prompt that said my account had been reported for being too young. I’m fucking 21. How goddamn old do you need to be to post videos on a goddamn platform that has 90% fucking children? I went to refute it but when the screen popped up to input my actual age it just fucking disappeared. I spent the rest of the day miserable because there was nothing I could do. I asked for why I was fucking being removed and it just fucking shrugged and said “Oh well, you kind of sound like a kid. It’s your fault you should put in your bio your age and verify your account with your driver’s license and appear on camera.”

1. Who the fuck hears someone’s voice and just immediately assumes “Ah yes this is a fucking child, let’s report them” Thanks you fucking whore ass goddamn motherfucking bitch. I’m sure you think you’re doing the world a goddamn favor by getting rid of a random account. Not like a fucking kid couldn’t just make another account or go to another website. Which, if this website is supposedly for 14+, then why is all the fucking language and everything on there so fucking sanitized that it might as well be goddamn Sesame Street because goddamn forbid adults use bad words.

2. What fucking website makes you verify your age with your driver’s license? I know Facebook and every dick-sucking website has our personal information and there’s goddamn nothing we can do about it, but do you really need my fucking driver’s license? I’m sure you already have my fucking social security number, anything else you fucking pigs want?!? And bullshit it’s to “protect the children” 90% of your fucking customer base is children, is fucking over adults who want to use your goddam platform to make videos about anime so fucking bad for your goddamn bottom line? If you wanna protect the children so fucking badly why do you try to make it appeal to children so fucking bad and then fuck over people who SHOULD be allowed to use your goddamn app? WHY DO YOU NEED TO VERIFY MY ACCOUNT WITH MY PERSONAL GODDAMN INFORMATION USE THE FUCKING EMAIL VERIFICATION LIKE A NORMAL GODDAMN WEBSITE YOU BITCHES!

3. I goddamn hate the notion that “Oh well you should’ve shown your face” WHY SHOULD I BE FORCED TO SHOW MY FACE ON A SOCIAL MEDIA WEBSITE?!?! Am I not allowed to make short-form video content because I don’t show my face for everyone to call me a fat fucking ugly ass hog in the comments?!? I felt happy and confident about myself for once in my goddamn life and now “Oh well you should be born pretty otherwise you’re not suited to make entertainment”

I don’t care about the majority of my videos but some of them I was legitimately proud of and felt like I actually made good content. Some of my best videos are 5-7 minutes long and I didn’t save them because of how much memory it would take up on my phone. So now a lot of my best videos are gone forever. Deleted from history for fucking ever. Because of one goddamn bitch.

I tried to refute the claims but all it did was say that I violated multiple community guidelines even though I read through each one and didn’t find a single goddamn one that I could’ve infringed on. The only one that could’ve was nudity because I have a Nendoroid of En Yufuin from Cute High Earth Defense Club Love that has a body that you can switch out that has a long towel wrapped around his waist which would count because his nipples are out. Two flat dots on a piece of plastic. AND HE’S A DUDE BY THE WAY! I see whores on that app all the time with their tits and ass out but I can’t have a figure show up for two fucking seconds in the background of a video?!

I thought about moving over to YouTube but I tried uploading some of my videos on there and they got fucking 0 on everything, I might as well have uploaded nothing. My content is too long to be a short and too short to be those five hour long iceberg “deep dive” videos that just list the most bare bone info that you can get from glancing a wiki article’s thumbnail. My content doesn’t work on YouTube. TikTok is for shitting out content that isn’t that high quality but is fun to watch and kill 1-5 minutes of time. YouTube is sitting and watching huge ass highly edited videos of someone reading off a script. Not that I can’t make those videos (at least the reading a script part), I just feel I’m better at making short to medium length videos about recommending weird anime or just ranting about something that comes to mind. On YouTube you have to actively CHOOSE to watch videos, on TikTok you’re force-fed them. Out of all the highly edited, high quality, longer videos on YouTube mine is just shit. People have had YEARS to perfect how to get people to click on their videos, while I record random videos of staring at a shelf and mumbling about some new thing.

I mustered up enough confidence to try again and make a second account. I uploaded about 6 videos that I quadruple-checked to make sure were safe and baby-proofed as possible, only for it to get taken down after 4 days. Again it says I have multiple community guidelines violations when I read the fuckers up and down to make sure everything I had was squeaky fucking clean and it still wasn’t good enough. Unless that same fucking skank that fucked me over the first time came by to fuck me over again.

I can’t do it all again. I feel crushed. I don’t think I could ever get to that same level my first account had. I feel like this is a sign from the universe saying “Stay down. Go back to working at the fucking dollar store and letting your dreams die.” I know I wasn’t anywhere near actually getting paid for my work or having some kind of fanbase but I finally felt proud of myself for something I did only for it to crumble to the ground again. Why should I make another account? It’ll just get deleted for no fucking reason. Why try YouTube? I can’t compete. Why put my ugly fucking face on camera if I know everyone will skip right past because even the scum on the bottom of the gutter looks more pleasing to the eye. I can’t do this anymore. I hate feeling like I’m finally good at something, feeling like o have something to live for only my entire existence to prove to be useless other than being a fucking cosmic punching bag. I’ve been trying to be more positive, surround myself with more positive media and content, but it’s all for fucking nothing. Look on the bright side of fucking what? That I exist to die. That I exist to be fucking nothing. That everyone and everything else has a purpose and I’m just here to mooch off of my fucking parents until I finally stop being such a goddamn pussy and end it all?

I know if I wasn’t scared of pain and needles and knives then I’d would’ve been dead years ago but me being too much of a pussy has got me here. WHY AM I STILL FUCKING HERE?

How do you reach out for help when you know you’ll just make it worse? How do you try to climb up from the ashes if you’re just going to burn and burn and burn and fucking burn until you finally stop getting up?

I try to believe in the fucking “indomitable human spirit” but I don’t fucking have it because I’m not goddamn human. Normal goddamn humans can get back up and keep going. Normal fucking humans don’t have to run off to their little suicide blog and bitch like a fucking child because they didn’t get heir fucking way. Other people can accept what they’re destined for and where they’ll end up, or if they can’t they can fight and win. You never hear stories about those who gave up because they’re dead and forgotten.

I probably won’t do it this time because I never have. I get so close. I grab it. I hold it. I aim it at my head, but I can never bring myself to do it because I’m scared I’m gonna fuck it up and end up paralyzed and praying for death every day of my life but no one will answer. Just another sob story.

Maybe I’ll finally get what they call an “NPC mode” where you just go mentally blank and live like a goldfish. Moving to live. Breathing to live. Creating just to get by. Eating to live. Living because there’s nothing else to do.

ADDING ON:

I went on vacation with my little sisters this week and I think I came out worse than when it started. I mean besides losing my account and self esteem, I swear every time my little sister speaks it’s just to sink the knife in deeper.

“So how old are you going to be? 22? EWWW THAT’S OLD!”

“I thought you were supposed to be the tall one in the family”

“Yeah because I have friends and go outside unlike you”

“At least I don’t wear the same outfits everyday. Jean shorts, Emo t-shirt, and hat to hide your balding head”

“Why won’t you watch this with me, you don’t love me you hate me how come when I talk to you you get angry”

I know most of them are jokes but it just felt like every time she was genuinely trying to make me die more inside. I’m too fat, I’m going bald, I have no fashion sense, I dare to get angry after being bitched at constantly, I’m useless, I’m old, I’m wasting my life, I have no friends, I have no job. I swear I’m ready to just fucking smack her I’m so fucking done. I can’t tell my family or they just say I’m being a little soft bitch that can’t take a joke. “What, you’re offended? Ok, nobody make fun of Deyadee, you’ll hurt her feelings! What 22-year-old can’t take a joke from a 14-year-old?”

I just can’t fucking take it, I just wanna shut myself off from the world so I don’t have to deal with it. But since I live in the same house and I’m mooching off my parents there’s nothing I can do but wait until I’m alone to cry. Because I can’t make it a problem that I don’t like something. I can’t say that I hate myself. I can’t say that a fucking child is making me cry myself to sleep every night. I already constantly think about how much I fucking hate everything about myself, I don’t need an hourly reminder on any day that I’m relatively happy. It’s like she specifically watches me to know when would be the best moment to crush me so I can’t do anything. When we’re in the car and I’m singing a song she’ll say “You look at the legs and you look like a child, waist and you look like a fat kid, and face you look like a middle-aged woman” and then be fucking surprised when I don’t respond and just think about carving myself up with a butcher’s knife. I go quiet and don’t respond because I’m just trying to keep myself from seeming like it affects me but it always does. God I just wanna die.

#deleted account

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jonnyardor · 10 months ago

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Why I want to learn saxophone in 2024🎷

The saxophone 🎷 in Detective Conan's soundtrack captivated me as a child. And when I found Sidney Bechet's 'Si tu vois ma mère', as a teenager, I just wanted a saxophone. And with finding Sade, I knew without a doubt that it was the next instrument for me, no matter when.

Years later, I found a pocket saxophone in an Instagram ad and it was mesmerising

Spontaneously, I decided to buy this instead of music business resources . It was so cool and I want to play like Coltrane and Masego. I want to do all the things I really love. Being on the phone is a sign of boredom and if wasting my time on earth. Even though I learn a lot and gets a few laughs out of the videos and memes, but I want to experience life. The old fashioned way with instruments, writing manuscripts for books and letters to faraway friends in longhand, cooking more and not ordering food to your doorstep, and time offline to read all my novels and contemplate about life and pray and be present with my wife and kids. I call myself a writer, musician and philosopher and I want to do just that, not approximated hesitant approaches to writing by outlining, fantasising and researching without ever writing down chapters that can be read, reviewed, edited and shared. All these unused notebooks, Collegeblocks and calendars. All this motivation and no tangible goals,results or organisation for my creative and intellectual life. I don't wanna be a wannabe.

What's stopping me?

The second reason was that I wanna build new enjoyable habits, not just detect and stop my harmful ones. For example my habit of pornography needed to stop but my sexual energy should be transferred or transmuted to other physical and mental activities. It's easier to stay physical for my inferior Se (exterior sensing) to be stabilised and challenged just enough. So making sports, playing instruments over reading or producing music on my laptop. I need a physical, haptic kinetic component in my activities. Walking outdoors does wonders for me even if I'm pushing the stroller and watching my babies play.

The third reason is that being a stay at home dad, I need a mental challenge. Being with toddlers all day, not being in deep conversation with adults or engaged in critical thinking, I fear that I can't get to play off my greatest strengths. And while I enjoy the time with my boys -which will end soon enough and I will miss this slow pace- I could need a challenge to grow my faculties.

Financially I want to retire my wife and secondly my mother, so I gotta make money. But since I can't get a babysitter for my babies, I gotta treat the post-pandemic world as if I'm in a pandemic in a music business sense. So how can I make money without performing, without being outside and over the long term?

My answer is: 1. build a catalogue that can be sold and streamed online (I stay away from DSP like Spotify and will use YouTube, SoundCloud and Bandcamp)

2. Get sync licenses for your music to be used in

4. Use your music and books in your own productions of artworks and media (own soundtrack,own script written, own director work)

Multi-hyphenate work like Lin-Manuel Miranda's Hamilton

5. Use Collabs to reach new fanbases

6. Write Longform content on the email newsletter and website and introverted spaces (Wordpress and Tumblr)

Medium sized articles with links to my other pages on reddit

Write short form on Thread and X, and with images on Insta, Tiktok and Facebook

7. Get meetings online and on phone call (interviews for publicity ,group chats for community )

8. Promote yourself online aggressively and consistently (you have to be seen for your tribe to find you)

So the saxophone that I am awaiting will teach me to start learning correctly from the start and will serve as a symbolic transition from hobbyist to self-employed blogger and offline artist that shares his mind, connects for a brief time and then dips out again to resume his preferred life off the grid.

I want to make money with digital real estate like Monopoly. It means that my revenue from my creations will add up cumulatively but it doesn't need my constant supervision every second of the day. I will be making money in my sleep and will promote, create more and start speaking and teaching to pass it forward and to be a teacher and guide for other Christians, creatives and growth-oriented people.

Thank you for reading.

I want to write more and it feels good to express my thoughts and verbalise my ideas. 💡

I will try to do it more often.

Below you find the ad that made me order the pocket saxophone:

#musician #producer #independent artist #christian blog #writer #saxophone #detective conan #blogger #digital real estate

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dl-oblivion · 4 years ago

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Reactions Masterlist

! NSFW and TW asks will have an (*) !

General:

- "We've been dating for a while, can I kiss you?" (Sakamakis)

- Daughters cursing in front of them (Sakamakis) *

- s/o whos a seamstress (Mukamis)

- Preference in lingerie? (Sakamakis) *

- Preference in lingere? (Mukamis + Tsukinamis) *

- s/o who doesn't shave (Sakamakis)

- s/o offering to help with Christmas dinner (Mukamis +Tsunkinamis)

- Cheating on s/o nonchalantly (Sakamakis) *

- Yui doesn’t care about them anymore after they cheated (Sakamakis) *

- Hearing WAP ring on phone (Sakamakis)

- Hearing WAP ring on phone (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- Rating Yui’s behind (Mukamis + Tsukinamis) *

- Rating Yui’s behind (Sakamakis) *

- Ayato and Subaru falling for the same girl (Sakamakis)

- s/o having a roast blog dedicated to Kanato (Sakamakis)

- Secret pervert s/o (Sakamakis) *

- Secret pervert s/o (Mukamis + Tsukinamis) *

- Walking in on Shu with his wives (Sakamakis) *

- asexual bride reaction (Sakamakis) *

- lesbian bride reaction (Sakamakis)

- Bride affectionate towards Yui (Sakamakis)

- Sister who’s a dhampir (Sakamakis)

- Finding out Yui’s bi through old photos *

- Pregnant s/o who is unsure about parenthood (Sakamakis) *

- s/o who doesn’t want a child but to live with them forever (Sakamakis) *

- Pregnant s/o who doesn’t want the child (Sakamakis)

- Pregnant s/o who doesn’t want the child (Mukamis + Tsukinamis) *

- Holding newborn baby girl (Sakamakis)

- Female friend is warded off by the idea of children (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- Bride with baby brother (Sakamkis)

- Pregnancy joke turned into a reality (Sakamakis)

- Sexy nurse outfit reaction (Mukamis) *

- opinions on yoga pants/leggings (Sakamakis) *

- opinions on yoga pants/leggings (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- Laito sleeping with Tsukinamis sister (Sakamakis) *

- s/o who listens to Jack Stauber (Sakamakis)

- s/o who listens to mother mother (Sakamakis)

- Reacting to Grimes (Sakamakis)

- Reacting to Ariana Grande (Sakamakis)

- Reacting to Ariana Grande (Mukamis)

- Male s/o who crossdresses (Sakamakis)

- Thicc insecure s/o (Sakamakis) *

- Insecure s/o with a beautiful body (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- Chubby Sacrifical Bride (Sakamakis) *

- Chubby Sacrifical Bride (Mukamis) *

- Daughters asking for Kanato to make them dresses (Sakamakis)

- First time with s/o who was abused (Sakamakis) *

- Affectionate female friend (Sakamakis)

- Truly in love with a human woman (Sakamakis)

- Yui wearing makeup to school (Sakamakis)

- Yui getting ready to go to a club (Sakamakis)

- s/o making their favorite food (Sakamakis)

- Shu’s ex getting with Reiji (Sakamakis)

- s/o with synthesis (Mukamis)

- s/o with social anxiety (Mukamis) *

- Bride with genetic anemia (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- Yui getting asked out by classmate and saying yes (Sakamakis) *

- Yui getting asked out by classmate and saying yes (Mukamis + Tsukinamis) *

- Yui getting flirted with at school (Sakamakis)

- Boys getting flirted with when they have a s/o (Sakamakis)

- Yui likes another brother instead of them (Mukamis + Tsukinamis) *

- s/o with a lot of experience (Sakamakis) *

- bride who is 6′5 (Sakamakis)

- bride who is 6′5 (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- s/o with 1940′s clothing (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- s/o who dresses goth (Sakamakis)

- s/o wears 80s inspired clothing (Sakamakis)

- s/o acting out nsfw scene with another actor (Mukamis + Tsukinamis) *

- s/o is a world famous idol (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- Pulling them into a room and saying “fuck me” (Sakamakis) *

- Going too far with sex (Sakamakis) *

- Petite s/o with high libido (Sakamakis) *

- Petite s/o with high libido (Mukamis + Tsukinamis) *

- Wearing thigh-high stockings to dinner (Sakamakis) *

- s/o sends nudes (Sakamakis) *

- s/o biting ear at school (Sakamakis) *

- s/o cries over being called a pervert during sex (Sakamakis) *

- Bite marks left all over body (Sakamakis) *

- Seeing their crush naked (Sakamakis) *

- Caught going “solo” (Sakamkis) *

- Walked in on by mom (Sakamakis) *

- demigod s/o (Sakamakis)

- s/o hurt by yelling and nicknames (Sakamakis)

- s/o playing Mortal Kombat X (Sakamakis)

- Long lost s/o who they cant remember (Mukamis) *

- Rich s/o spoiling them (Mukamis)

- Extremely Careful s/o (Sakamakis)

- Teenage daughter gets killed (Sakamakis) *

- s/o passing out after being proposed to (Sakamakis)

- Public proposal rejection (Sakamakis)

- Public proposal rejection (Mukamis + Tsukinamis) *

- s/o has fever and is oblivious to it (Sakamakis)

- s/o having random stomachaches (Sakamakis)

- Cute jealous s/o (Sakamakis)

- Kuudere s/o (Sakamakis)

- S/o with fox ears (Sakamakis)

- s/o paints flowers (Sakamakis)

- Girlfriend with a lot of henna tattoos (Mukamis)

- super religious and oppressive family (Sakamakis) *

- Yui is a youtuber (Sakamakis)

- s/o that’s tiktok famous (Sakamakis)

- s/o does lewd tiktoks (Sakamakis) *

- bride with onlyfans (Sakamakis) *

- Buying tampons and chocolates for menstruating s/o (Sakamakis)

- s/o with period cramps wanting to be comforted (Sakamakis)

- Yui being a swimsuit model (Sakamakis) *

- Special made flower just for them (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- s/o asleep in the middle of the hallway (Sakamakis) *

- Butt is smacked by s/o while exclaiming “yummy” (Sakamakis)

- s/o dancing to toxic (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- s/o dancing to toxic (Sakamakis)

- s/o depressed about not getting into college of choice (Sakamakis)

- s/o owns clothing store and surprises them (Sakamakis)

- Girlfriend hurt at party (Sakamakis) *

- s/o crying into pillow (Sakamakis) *

- s/o having traumatic flashbacks (Sakamakis) *

- s/o is skilled aerialist (Sakamakis)

- Crush turns out to be the true eve (Mukamis)

- Shu and Reiji love the same person (Sakamakis)

- s/o has a nightmare and comes in room crying (Mukamis)

- s/o has a nightmare and comes in room crying (Sakamakis)

- s/o running after puppy (Sakamakis)

- s/o pulls them to chest randomly (Sakamakis)

- s/o dyes hair a crazy color (Sakamakis)

- s/o kisses them on the neck randomly (Sakamakis)

- walking in on Subaru having sex (Sakamakis) *

- Kanatos s/o destroys teddy (Sakamakis) *

- Someone asks to be friends (Mukamis)

- s/o part of idol group (Sakamakis)

- s/o who doesn’t shave (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- “What am I, your wife?” (Sakamakis)

- s/o asks favorite animal seriously (Mukamis + Tsukinamis)

- Receiving a ‘groom’ instead of a ‘bride’ (Sakamakis)

----------------

Shu:

- Wife dressed as sexy Mrs. Claus *

- facial treatment reaction

- Breastfeeding s/o

- Wife and kid playing with Reiji’s family

- Surprise pierced nipples

- s/o looks like Natsumi Suga

- Getting tackle hugged by s/o

- Caught going through s/o’s underwear drawer *

- s/o smacking his butt *

- “Well the wedding is next week, guess you’re my brother now”

- s/o wears virgin killer sweater *

- “Subaru is dating a first blood?”

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- s/o with tomboyish style

- s/o singing amazingly in the shower

- Mother insults s/o in front of them *

- An s/o that insists on taking care of him

- s/o below 5 ft

Reiji:

- Delinquent MC with similar grades

- Decorating the yule with his s/o

- s/o who makes suicidal jokes *

- suicidal s/o *

- s/o who ran away with their child *

- Breastfeeding s/o

- Wife and kid playing with Shu’s family

- Surprise pierced nipples *

- s/o masturbating and moaning their name *

- Schizophrenic s/o *

- Child walks in on bdsm session *

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- “Subaru is dating a first blood?”

- s/o with tomboyish style

- s/o dies from taking bullet for him

- s/o takes swing and 2 step classes after school

- Mother insults s/o in front of them *

- Getting praised for having excellent grades

- human and vampire friend au

- Short workaholic s/o

- s/o asks for chokeslam *

- s/o breaks his lab equipment on purpose *

- s/o asks for threesome *

Ayato:

- s/o whos an e-girl

- “Can I draw you nude?” *

- facial treatment reaction

- Getting tackle hugged by s/o

- s/o who looks like Kyle Jenner

- s/o who’s obsessed with their hair

- Caught going through s/o’s underwear drawer *

- “Ayy shawty your man still there?” prank

- “Well the wedding is next week, guess you’re my brother now”

- s/o who can manipulate gravity

- s/o is executive for the Mafia

- “Subaru is dating a first blood?”

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- s/o with tomboyish style

- Mother insults s/o in front of them *

- Stronger male s/o

- s/o below 5 ft

- s/o speaking to sister in another language

Laito:

- s/o whos an e-girl

- Decorating the yule with his s/o

- s/o who makes suicidal jokes *

- “Can I draw you nude?” *

- Wife wants to use a strap on *

- facial treatment reaction

- “Can you dress like a maid?...”

- Breastfeeding s/o

- Surprise pierced nipples *

- Getting tackle hugged by s/o

- s/o who looks like Kyle Jenner

- Playing a game with Laito

- Caught going through s/o’s underwear drawer *

- “Subaru can I have a hug?”

- Moaning someone else's name *

- “Well the wedding is next week, guess you’re my brother now”

- s/o who can manipulate gravity

- s/o wears virgin killer sweater *

- “Subaru is dating a first blood?”

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- s/o singing amazingly in the shower

- Mother insults s/o in front of them *

- Stronger male s/o

- s/o below 5 ft

- s/o asks for chokeslam *

Kanato:

- s/o who makes suicidal jokes *

- Caught going through s/o’s underwear drawer *

- “Well the wedding is next week, guess you’re my brother now”

- s/o with tomboyish style

- Stronger male s/o

Subaru:

- Wife dressed as sexy Mrs. Claus *

- Getting pulled under the mistletoe

- s/o who ran away with their child *

- facial treatment reaction

- s/o wants to have sex in his coffin

- Breastfeeding s/o

- s/o looks like Natsumi Suga

- Caught going through s/o’s underwear drawer *

- Going through a scary maze with s/o

- s/o masturbating and moaning their name *

- “Subaru can I have a hug?”

- s/o smacking his butt *

- “Well the wedding is next week, guess you’re my brother now”

- s/o wears virgin killer sweater *

- “Subaru is my crush, can you talk to him?”

- Bringing home 12 parakeets

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- s/o with tomboyish style

- s/o takes swing and 2 step classes after school

- s/o singing amazingly in the shower

- Mother insults s/o in front of them *

- Short workaholic s/o

- s/o below 5 ft

- s/o speaking to sister in another language

- s/o cursing cause it feels so good

- s/o asks for chokeslam *

- s/o asks for threesome *

-----------------

Ruki:

- Ruki can you help me with a math question?

- s/o whos an e-girl

- Wife dressed as sexy Mrs. Claus *

- Decorating the yule with his s/o

- “What’s your opinions on Catcher in the Rye?”

- s/o who ran away with their child *

- facial treatment reaction

- Breastfeeding s/o

- “Can I call you dad again?” *

- Surprise pierced nipples *

- s/o who looks like Kyle Jenner

- s/o who’s obsessed with their hair

- s/o with schizophrenia

- s/o smacking his butt *

- “Ayy shawty your man still there?” prank

- “Is that what I am to you?”

- s/o who can manipulate gravity

- s/o wears virgin killer sweater *

- Bringing home 12 parakeets

- Child walks in on bdsm session *

- Finding out s/o is good artist

- s/o is executive for the Mafia

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- s/o with tomboyish style

- s/o takes swing and 2 step classes after school

- s/o singing amazingly in the shower

- Mother insults s/o in front of them *

- Getting praised for having excellent grades

- human and vampire friend au

- Short workaholic s/o

- s/o speaking to sister in another language

- s/o who smokes or vapes

- s/o asks for chokeslam *

- s/o has period accident

- s/o asks for threesome *

(Legit my favorite cg in the whole series, LOOK AT THEM)

Yuma:

- s/o who ran away with their child *

- Getting tackle hugged by s/o

- s/o who looks like Kyle Jenner

- s/o who’s obsessed with their hair

- Caught going through s/o’s underwear drawer *

- s/o smacking his butt *

- “Ayy shawty your man still there?” prank

- s/o smacking his butt *

- s/o who can manipulate gravity

- s/o wears virgin killer sweater *

- Finding out s/o is good artist

- s/o is executive for the Mafia

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- s/o takes swing and 2 step classes after school

- Stronger male s/o

- Short workaholic s/o

- s/o below 5 ft

- s/o who smokes or vapes

- s/o has period accident

Kou:

- s/o whos an e-girl

- Decorating the yule with his s/o

- s/o who ran away with their child *

- Getting tackle hugged by s/o

- “Kou are you single?”

- s/o who looks like Kyle Jenner

- s/o who’s obsessed with their hair

- Someone with cat like features *

- Trolling Kou

- s/o smacking his butt *

- “Ayy shawty your man still there?” prank

- s/o addicted to video games

- s/o who can manipulate gravity

- s/o is executive for the Mafia

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- s/o takes swing and 2 step classes after school

- Mother insults s/o in front of them

- Short workaholic s/o

- s/o below 5 ft

- s/o who smokes or vapes

- s/o has period accident

Azusa:

- Happy Birthday from Azusa

- Getting pulled under the mistletoe

- s/o who makes suicidal jokes *

- “Can I draw you nude?” *

- s/o who ran away with their child *

- s/o who’s obsessed with their hair

- Extreme sadist s/o takes the lead *

- s/o masturbating and moaning their name *

- s/o addicted to video games

- Bringing home 12 parakeets

- s/o takes swing and 2 step classes after school

- Short workaholic s/o

- s/o speaking to sister in another language

- s/o who smokes or vapes

- s/o asks for chokeslam *

- s/o has period accident

- s/o asks for threesome *

-----------------

Carla:

- Breastfeeding s/o

- Surprise pierced nipples *

- “Thoughts on Humans?”

- s/o addicted to video games

- Schizophrenic s/o *

- Bringing home 12 parakeets

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- “Subaru is dating a first blood?”

- Intelligent s/o who is very clumsy

- Mother insults s/o in front of them

- Getting praised for having excellent grades

- Getting complimented

- human and vampire friend au

- s/o kissing him out of nowhere for gift

- s/o who smokes or vapes

- s/o asks for chokeslam *

- s/o has period accident

- s/o asks for threesome *

Shin:

- Surprise pierced nipples *

- “Thoughts on Humans?”

- “Ayy shawty your man still there?” prank

- s/o addicted to video games

- “Well the wedding is next week, guess you’re my brother now”

- Girlfriend’s family is super nice

- “Subaru is dating a first blood?”

- Intelligent s/o who is very clumsy

- “I missed you so much. I want to stay like this for a while”

- Mother insults s/o in front of them

- Getting praised for having excellent grades

- s/o kissing him out of nowhere for gift

Yui:

- “Subaru is my crush, can you talk to him?”

#masterlist #diabolik lovers #admin #admin speaks

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iampikachuhearmeroar · 3 years ago

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sometime in this last week, or this week coming, my blog has turned/turns 10. god. a decade old. a whole ass chunk of my life i’ve spent on this hellsite. when i began on here, i was a kid. a lost, lonely, depressed and anxious 15/16 year old kid. a kid scared of her future. a kid confused about her future. what to do for uni. to change schools or not??? to do drama/acting at uni or english/philosophy or to move 8hrs away to another regional uni to “escape” her “washed up, dead end hometown” that was so typical of all the pop-punk music that she was listening to at the time.

she was a tad overdramatic, loud, “funny” (as described by her school friends) and terribly forgetful in regards to homework and school assignments. she was angry at the world, most especially the catholic school she was fucking sick and tired of attending. but she was convinced that since she was the so-called “funny girl”, that she simply couldn’t be depressed or anxious. she believed herself unloveable because she didn’t look like a weird mixture of hayley williams and emo-pop queen lights. but now, i no longer believe that i have to look like the women that i looked up to in the ~emo scene~. fuck beauty standards. i am loveable.

in the years since joining tumblr, i’ve managed to get through business college, my undergrad degree and, well, failed out of postgrad due to obvious burnout and health issues amongst other things. although i’ve lost many friends irl and many followers/mutuals online on here. for those who’ve stuck around to see me get through all of this, thank you. to all the friends/casual mutuals that have since deactivated or only followed me for a short time then unfollowed; thank you.

like obviously i was never/have never been a massive popular blog on here, like thebootydiaries or vampireapologist (who has since deactivated a couple of months ago) with tens of thousands of followers. my follower count is still close to the 8,000 range at 7,892. obviously that’s still a lot of people (and of course, porn bots lmao and many, many non-active blogs), enough like one super old post from like 2012 tumblr pointed out, enough for a small to medium sized city or town, or something like that. i don’t know how many people i’ve really reached. i really don’t know how i actually amassed this small army of people.

i am aware though, that on other platforms like snapchat (lmao does anyone even use it anymore in 2021???)/instagram/youtube/tiktok etc, i’d PROBABLY be considered as some type of ~micro influencer (🤮🤮)~. hell, i actually had a bot slide into my notes about being one on here on this hellsite back in 2019. i don’t know if i’ve ever actually ~influenced~ anyone on here with my shitposts (when i started making some) or my personal posts. i don’t know my reach. even though, now, i do occasionally get featured on buzzfeed listicles (although pay me buzzfeed along with the OPs of those original embedded posts), i still don’t know how many people i’ve reached… and even with my very occasional checks of google analytics lmao. on top of this, grappling with the loss of followers at times is much, much easier than it was when i began on here and the first few years following that. i know that my follower count doesn’t determine my worth and stuff.

but over these 10 years, i have grown. i turn 26 this year. back in 2011, 15/16yo me never thought she’d be here. she was partially down the suicidal thoughts hole, with things about ~picturing her funeral and wondering who’d bother to turn up. if only she could pretend to be dead for a day to see who’d give a fuck~ and 16-18yo me was defs down it with her HSC hellscape thoughts in 2012/2013. that 3rd floor tafe/tech women’s bathroom window drop and the thought of scarring her class for life (and that cool dude from catholic school that she crushed on who ended up at tafe with her) with jumping out of it onto the concrete below. instead, she just posted on fb about ~being a failure~ etc which ultimately did lose her a bunch of facebook friends lmao. it was practically the same thing. her mental breakdown after the end of her hsc, where she let her earrings go green and get infected in her ears because “fuck self care, bc what the fuck is it??? i’ll never get better! let me fucking wallow in my self loathing bc it’s the only thing that i’m fucking good at!!!” so i no longer have my ears pierced. oh! it was just all too fucking much!!

i am happier today. i no longer have those semi-suicidal thoughts. hell, i almost died in 2020 from a fucking bowel aneurysm, after my stomach tumour excision surgery. that forced me to put things into perspective. i appreciate the little things . i appreciate the very few friends that i actually have. yes. i’m still depressed and anxious. some days are still shitty and hard. but nowhere as hard and shitty as they were back when i began on here 10 years ago.

how the fuck last 10 years have gone past, with my ass on here; clearing out my blog and caring more about doing that than my uni work (lmao whoops); having made some lifelong friends both internationally (from the US) and long distance domestically in australia, it’s been a long ride; i honestly have no fucking idea. obviously over these past 10 years, i’ve debated with myself over and over and over again whether i should delete/deactivate this account or not. would it make me healthier??? more than likely. but then when i have meltdowns or just inner ramblings i have to get out somewhere, where else to post??? on fb?? obvs not. it’s “attention seeking” or the like on there. no one will read them. no one will resonate. but on here??? even if i got/get one “like” in the notes or one “yo i feel this” response in the tags or replies, it feels like i’ve reached someone??? okay yeah. i know this place IS NOT therapy and i’m not using my followers as amateur (or probs even actual professional) armchair psychologists…. which is a thing i think people need to stop doing internet-wide: but that’s a whole other post that i reblogged a few days ago lmao. i really need to get another therapist, actually lmao.

but it’s the community i’ve found hard to leave. i have what feel like friends, when i’ve never been employed (still as of yet); and when all of my irl friends/acquaintances are working and doing the whole ~adulting~ and ~grown up life~ thing right. it’s also the frenzied rabidness of spite with hating staff’s godawful ideas. the memes. oh the memes. and also the RaWrInG 20s XD emo scene reemergence on here that’s kept me here. the messy petty drama from time to time of big blogs fighting it out.

this place really is bizarre and fun sometimes. and also the fact that i can still hide behind the ridiculous “roaring pikachu” URL that i made all those years ago. i am anonymous. it’s freeing. but on fb it’s all like “WHY WONT YOU ADD A BANNER IMAGE AND TELL US 20 FUN FACTS ABOUT YOU!!!!!???? LET PEOPLE WHO HAVENT SPOKEN TO YOU IN 10 YEARS KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU BECAUSE WE’RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!!!” and the same goes for Corporate Hellscape Facebook™️ (linkedin) but in the professional sense instead. y’all know fuck all about me really. besides my posts. and i love that and live for that. okay yeah. y’all know more about my mental health than my fb feed obvs… which is probably a terribly unfortunate thing. but still.

over the last 10 years then, my superiority complex for being ~so original and intelligent~ or whatever the fuck i had in high school, has all but ebbed away. i’m not that smart just because i went to uni. hell, i literally did NONE of my in-class work and none of my philosophy readings in uni….. so i have fuck all idea of how i got through undergrad like that lmao. i’m not original when so many people can articulate the same thoughts that i have, but like, sometimes better, on a post (even though sometimes/most of the time the Tumblr User Hot Takes Tuesday™️ takes on here are fucking awful lmao). but still. originality is not something i really have anymore. or really had in the first place lmao.

so will i deactivate after these 10 years, like i’ve been saying for so, so long??? i honestly have no idea. but just know. thanks guise. have a nice gpoy selfie day XD. grab your wands. your tardises. grab your war paint. grab your whatever the fuck other fandom specific stuff that was one that hella cringe post from 2011 til 2015 random tumblr. that relic is as old as time itself. just as this mysterious roaring pikachu is for someone whose too loyal to leave this W E B B E D H E L L S I T E that’s just as much of a train wreck as she is. lmao.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #tumblr is legit my fucking life now #motivate me to deactivate this blog to leave the hellsite forever 2021 #trigger warning: suicide mention #tw: suicide mention

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junker-town · 3 years ago

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YouTubers vs. TikTokers boxing is the hottest sport for a new generation

Nothing has made me feel older than YouTubers vs. TikTok Stars boxing.

Remember to insert witty opening that shows I’m super cool with the kids, and not a 36-year-old man who has no idea what the hell is happening in a modern world that confronts me.

This past weekend was the most confusing sports phenomenon I’ve witnessed, and it made me feel old as hell. While us olds were paying attention to the NBA Playoffs, Euro 2020, College Baseball or UFC, millions were glued to a boxing PPV that pitted famous YouTubers against TikTok stars.

I’ve been staring at this image for 20 minutes. Sifting through the recesses of my brain to determine if I can recognize a single name on this poster. I cannot. That does not mean these people aren’t famous, because they are — it’s just a crushing reality that I am old.

Take that main event, for instance, you have a big headline fight between Austin McBroom and Bryce Hall. McBroom chronicles his family’s life events on YouTube like ... allowing strangers to decide their McDonald’s order, and cutting his toddler’s hair exactly like his. I know this because I just searched “who is Austin McBroom?” Then you have Hall, whose Wikipedia page I need a Rosetta Stone to decode what any of the hell this means.

“He is also a member of the Sway House located in Los Angeles. Hall accused Petrou of stealing money from members of the Hype House and spending money irresponsibly.”

Hall also seems like a really great human (excuse my sarcasm), who was arrested for violating Los Angeles’ restrictions on Covid and having a house party, mocking the LGBTQ community, then deleting his tweets, and being accused of assaulting a restaurant employee. The lawsuit alleges he participated in “engaging in acts of violence motivated by race, national origin, citizenship, immigration status and primary language.”

So yeah. I guess being old and not knowing these people has it’s perks sometimes.

While you or I don’t care about any of this, damn a lot of youngs really, really do

There’s an entire generation that doesn’t care or identify with actors, musicians or artists, and instead puts all their stock in social media personalities. Why? I don’t really know. Like, I watch YouTube, there are tons of people I follow. I don’t have an explicit need to watch them fight each other, but the hustle is real.

This kind of influencer media is the next step in reality TV, just further divorced from reality. Everyone is trying to find content to publish, and if you’re a purveyor of the high-energy stylized “reality” of these stars, then you’ll buy into whatever they’re selling. I mean, that video of a toddler getting his haircut has 2.6 million views. People eat this stuff up — so pretending there’s beef between two influencers and fighting creates a ton of interest, and content to go along with it.

We might never know the number of buys an event like this created, but if you logged on Twitter Saturday night you probably saw how nuts it was. For the majority of the night these fights out-trended every other sporting event they were in competition with.

Here are the results, if you care.

Austin McBroom def. Bryce Hall

AnEsonGib vs. Tayler Holder ended in majority draw

Vinnie Hacker def. Deji

DDG def. Nate Wyatt

Faze Jarvis def. Michael Le

Landon McBroom def. Ben Azelart

Ryan Johnston def. Cale Saurage

Celebrity boxing isn’t going anywhere

Logan Paul and KSI proved the concept, now everyone is jumping on board. Taking internet beef and porting it over to a real-world fight pushes tribalism to a whole new level. Instead of being fans of teams, people are being fans of influencers — and will eat up everything they participate in.

While the YouTubers and TikTokers were duking it out, former NBA star Lamar Odom was stepping in the ring with singer Aaron Carter, and beating him half to death. It was a very weird night.

The biggest question isn’t whether this works, it’s whether these kind of fights represent an existential threat to traditional combat sports. It’s not like those sports will vanish overnight, it’s about whether this new generation will ever care about fighters who aren’t social media celebrities. Perhaps many of them would never tune into other combat sports anyway, but it certainly cuts off any potential interest. Why bother following boxing or MMA intently, learning about their stars, when you can just wait for the latest YouTuber to throw on some gloves and beat up someone you already know, and watch on a regular basis.

There’s a lot of money to be made in the short term, but will that still be around when influencers move onto the next thing? That remains to be seen.

Should I start following all this?

No. Unless you already have an affinity for a YouTuber or TikToker so strong you’re invested in them enough to watch a sloppy, terrible boxing match solely because they’re in it. This really feels like a sporting phenomenon made for Gen Z, and they should be allowed to enjoy their things without olds ruining it.

People like me tuning in is the equivalent of buying a red Mazda Miata and driving it with the top down while wearing a linen shirt at the first sight of a grey hair. It’s just kinda sad.

I’m also not going to pretend this is a real, compelling, actual sport when it definitively isn’t. It’s a sloppy facsimile of actual sport, with untrained individuals playing dress up for a night. We also don’t need people my age pretending it’s just to try and get those sweet, sweet Gen Z clicks. We can accept time has passed us by, as we begin the long march towards our oblivion.

If you’re into YouTubers fighting TikTokers, enjoy it. I hope events like this bring you joy. I don’t get it, and I’m okay not getting it.

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grimelords · 5 years ago

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October Playlist

My October playlist is finished and it’s complete from Rico Nasty to Rachmaninoff. I absolutely guarantee there’s something you’ll love in this 3 and a half hours of music, and probably something you’ll hate too! Something for everyone!

If you’d like to have these playlists delivered to your inbox instead of having them randomly appear on your dash, please subscribe to my tinyletter here.

listen here

Santeria - Pusha T: In anticipation of Jesus Is King I relistened to the entire Wyoming Sessions project a few times, and a year removed from all the hype and controversy here's the thing: it's fucking great. The individual albums ranged pretty widely in quality and felt slightly unfinished for how short they were sometimes, but taking the project as a whole 5-album 120 minute playlist it turns out it's a masterpiece. My personal tracklist goes Ye/Daytona/Nasir/KTSE/Kids See Ghosts, which isn't release order but I think makes it flow the best - both Kanye albums bookending it and the less impactful Nas and Teyana Taylor albums buried a bit further in where you can appreciate them now that you're deep in the mindset of the whole thing rather than alone on their own.

Puppets (Succession Remix) - Pusha T & Nicholas Brittel: This remix is such a perfect match: Pusha T’s corporate villainy finally given a context and prestige it deserves. It’s also short enough that it could feasible be the actual theme song next season, which would be a marked improvement imo.

Use This Gospel - Kanye West, Clipse & Kenny G: I am and remain a Kanye stan, even after everything. It’s nice to see him going back to the extremely uneven mastering of MBDTF era, it’s a sound that is uniquely his and it’s fun to see him revisit it. The thick vocoder harmony is so soupy you get lost in it, and the way it opens up to include the full choir in the No Malice verse is beautiful. Kanye reunited Clipse through Christ and we have Him to thank for that at least. The Kenny G break is great, and the grain and dirt on the whole track when the beat kicks in is so gritty you can feel it.

Man Of The Year - Schoolboy Q: I didn't love the Chromatics album they surprise released but it did thankfully remind me of the time Schoolboy Q sampled Cherry for Man Of The Year. Taken exclusively on lyrics, Man Of The Year is a triumph: he's the man of the year and it's all worked out but the sample and the beat underscores the dead eyed melancholy that runs through the whole of Oxymoron of never winning even when you've won.

Cold - Rico Nasty: This song fucking tears your face off. Imagine STARTING your album at this level of intensity. She just goes straight to 100 and burns the house down. Outside of Lil John so few rappers can get away with just straight up screaming in the adlibs but the way she just lung tearingly screams GOOOO through this is fucking sick.

Fake ID - Riton & Kah-Lo: TikTok songs are becoming their own genre, but it’s a very nebulous sort of a mood encompassing everything from aughts pop punk hooks to skipping rope raps like this. It’s a strange new way for songs to blow up that everyone seems compelled to write articles about but my take on it is it’s exactly the same as ads were in the old days. Remember how many songs did absolute numbers because someone put it in a Motorola ad? Same thing except you’re not being sold a phone this time, so in some ways it’s better. Anyway, this song bangs. The spirit of 212 era Azealia Banks lives on even if she’s doing her best ever since then to kill it.

Doctor Pressure - MYLO & Miami Sound Machine: There was a very good era in the mid-2000s where you could just put mashups out as singles and they’d chart, it was sick. My only two examples are this and Destination Calabria but I’m sure there’s more. Drop The Pressure is a masterpiece but as an alternate version this mashup is equally masterful.

If You’re Tarzan, I’m Jane - Martika: Martika is unfortunately best known for the 1989 one hit wonder Toy Soldiers, a sort of boring overdramatic ballad which is best known for being sampled by Eminem in 2004 in his quite bad super duper serious song Like Toy Soldiers. I say unfortunately because every other song on her first album is great, it’s all hypercolour 80s synthpop and I love this song especially because it is so completely stuffed with activity it becomes dizzying. It gets so lost in itself that they completely abandon the dramatic pause before “I’m Jane” for some reason toward the end and instead just layer three different tracks of vocal adlibs. Every part of this song is great, the weird ‘o we o we o’ chant before the second verse? The neighing horse guitar before the bridge? The musical tour of the world IN the bridge? The part where she says ‘I want to swing on your vine?’. This song has everything.

You Got Me Into This - Martika: Every part of the instrumentation in this is amazing. The bass sound, the main synth, the extremely athletic brass, the wonderful echoing 80s snare that’s as big as a house. I just love it. She also does some really intriguing slurs on the word ‘love’ all the way through, just moving it around absolutely anywhere.

Space Time Motion - Jennifer Vanilla: I love when someone has such a clearly defined aesthetic and mission from the very beginning. Jennifer Vanilla is the alter ego of Becca Kaufmann from Ava Luna who I've had in this playlist before but never competely investigated. Jennifer Vanilla feels like an episode of Sex And The City where Samantha gets really into Laurie Anderson and she is incredible. This video is the best mission statement I’ve ever seen and is currently criminally underviewed so please do your part and support the Jennifer cause by watching these two videos.

So Hot You’re Hurting My Feelings - Caroline Polachek: Caroline Polachek said watch me write a Haim song and did it. Apparently the very early versions of this album started when she was in writing sessions for Katy Perry, but then it started to turn into something else and she took it for herself, and I think you can hear that. With more normal production and a little faster this is a hundred percent a Katy Perry song, but instead it’s completely uniquely Caroline Polachek and it’s all the better for it. And also Katy Perry must be furious because her new songs are simply not good at all.

Electric Blue - Arcade Fire: I just love the obsession of this song in the outro, chanting over and over and over “Cover my eyes electric blue, every single night I dream about you”

Promiscuous - Nelly Furtado and Timbaland: I got a youtube ad for one of those Masterclass videos the other day and it was Timbaland teaching production. This ad went for five minutes for some reason and I watched the whole thing and it made me admire Timbaland even more. He’s demonstrating his compositional technique which is basically to just beatbox, and then loop it, and then add some extra percussion layers with more beatboxing and hand percussion, then loop that and add a little melody by singing or humming. ‘It’s that simple’ he says. Then later he goes back in and puts in actual drums or synths or whatever. I was stunned because suddenly a lot of his music makes sense. Without the barrier of instrument or timbre to get hung up on it allows him to write from this instantly head-nodding place of just making up a little beat you can sing and dance to immediately. Listening to a lot of his music now you can hear the bones underneath everything so clearly, all his beats are supremely beatboxable and all his melodies are very hummable, they’ve never overcomplicated by instrumental skill or habits, they just exist to serve the song.

Serpent - TNGHT: TNGHT are back baby and this song is like nothing I’ve ever heard before. It feels like afrofuturist footwork from another dimension, the mbira sounding lead against the oil drum percussion in this cacophony of yelps and screams that just builds to an irrepressible energy without a bassline in sight.

Ghosts Of My Life - Rufige Kru: I'm reading Mark Fisher's Ghosts Of My Life right now and some good person has put together a spotify playlist of all the songs he mentions. He has a whole essay about why this song is sick so I’m not going to go into it here but it’s interesting to hear about someone growing up with jungle when it’s a genre that has always felt very niche to me. I guess partly as a result of it never really making it mainstream as a genre here, and also me being a little too young for it.

Renegade Snares - Omni Trio: My biggest introduction to drum and bass comes from the game Midnight Club 3: Dub Edition and this really great song from the soundtrack that is finally on spotify after a very long absence. At almost the exact same time as I discovered this song with its spacious piano and repitched snares, I discovered Venetian Snares and breakcore in general. Having no particular frame of reference for breakcore as an offshoot of drum and bass only amplified its appeal to me as a completely alien genre that sounded like nothing else I’d ever heard, and so my personal history with drum and bass is a story of walking backwards into it after the fact which is interesting if not helpful.

Punching In A Dream - The Naked And Famous: The Mark Fisher book also mentions the Tricky song which I’ve never heard from which The Naked And Famous got their name and I thought ‘man remember The Naked And Famous, they were sick?’. The sort of harder edged Passion Pit instrumentation mixed with pop punk, a winning combination.

Vegas - Polica: My favourite part of this song is the unexpected blastbeats after the chorus, using their two drummers to their full advantage and just shaking the song by its foundations every now and then lest you get too comfortable.

Right Words - Cults: I’m beginning to suspect I may be the last surviving Cults stan but if this be my lot I’ll gladly do it

Running From The Sun - Chromatics: The new Chromatics album got me to relisten to their definitive document Kill For Love, and something new I appreciated this time about an album I love a lot is its length. Kill For Love is almost 80 minutes long and it luxuriates in that length. It’s sequenced perfectly so it never feels like it’s long for no reason, but large chunks just completely space out and go out of focus in the soft neon light and the second half of this song is a good example. The whole thing just evaporates into smoke and it feels perfect. If this were a shorter and more concise song that had a proper ending it wouldn’t feel right, this whole album has no straight edges at all and it’s all the better for it.

Chance - Angel Olsen: I cannot belive this song. This feels like she wrote her own version of My Way looking forward instead of back. Instead of the ruefully triumphant "I've lived a life that's full / I've traveled each and every highway" it's “I don't want it all / I've had enough / I don't want it all / I've had a love." before the turn from the future to the present at the end, where she gives up on a forever love in exchange for right now. I love how raw this vocal take feels. It's not her best voice but it feels very very honest as a result. She's just singing her heart out in this huge showstopping closer. In an interview she said "I didn’t love the recording of it very much, and now I just feel in love with it as a closing statement, because it’s a way of saying, ‘Look, I have hope for the next thing in my life.’ I’m not going to anticipate negativity or hate or an end. But instead of us looking towards forever, why don’t we just work on right now?"

Something To Believe - Weyes Blood: This album just keeps paying dividends. I’m systematically going through long obsessive periods with every single song on it and now it’s Something To Believe’s turn.

Don’t Shut Me Up (Politely) - Brigid Mae Power: Without meaning to, Brigid Mae Power seems to have created some incredible fusion of folk music and stoner metal. The way this song absolutely sits unmoving on one deep and resonant chord for so long is amazing. When it does change chords it feels like a full body effort to get up and shift. She has a similar feeling to Emma Ruth Rundle, who more explicitly wears her metal influences, but Brigid Mae Powers' strength is in how much it resembles the traditional folk side of the spectrum. Her voice is also amazing, with the huge effortless runs she goes on about halfway through just coming unmoored from the song completely and floating off into space.

Sweetheart I Ain’t Your Christ - Josh T. Pearson: I had a real problem with Josh T. Pearson for a long time because of how he presents as so authentic on this album, and as I’ve previously discussed in these playlists the concept of authenticity in country music is a source of neverending anguish for me. But his newest album The Straight Hits! has largely cured that for me because it’s not good at all, is extremely contrived (all the song titles have the word ‘hit’ in them) and he’s shaved his beard and replaced it with one of the worst irony moustaches I’ve ever seen. So now I’m free to enjoy The Last Of The Country Gentlemen as a character construction, which allows me a far deeper and truer engagement than the idea of a man actually living and thinking like this which is frankly a little embarrassing.

Codeine Dream - Colter Wall: I love this song, it has that feeling that great folk songs do of feeling like you’ve always known it. The strongest moments on this Colter Wall album to me are in songs like this that chase this particular feeling of morose isolation, and where he leans away from storytelling like his biggest hit Kate McCannon - a kind of cliche country murder ballad. This song is fantastic because of the way it wallows in this black depression not as a low point, but as a reprieve from the lower previous point. Things are as bad as they get now, and they’re always going to be like this, but at least I don’t dream of you anymore.

Motorcycle - Colter Wall: I only just found out about Colter Wall this month and have been listening to this album over and over. When I first heard him I though it was strange I'd never heard of him before because he's obviously some old country veteran based off his voice, but it turns out he's 24 and this is his first album he just sings like he ate a cigar. I love this song especially because it's so straighforward. It's a simple and supremely relatable mood: what if I bought a motorbike and fucking died.

Who By Fire - Leonard Cohen: I watched American Animals a couple of weeks ago and it’s a great movie, highly recommended. This song plays near the end and I waited for the credits to find out what this great song was, and like a rube found out it’s only one of the most celebrated songwriters of all time. I’ve never had much of a Leonard Cohen phase, somehow. In my mind I always get him mixed up with Lou Reed, which I’m learning is actually way off. I love the harmony vocals in this, and the way they move around into the shadows in the ‘who shall I say is calling’ parts.

Words From The Executioner To Alexander Pearce - The Drones: Alexander Pearce was a convict who escaped Sarah Island’s penal settlement in Tasmania with seven other convicts in 1822. He was recaptured two months later alone. In 1823 he re-escaped with a fellow convict, Thomas Cox and again was returned alone.He was executed by hanging later having eaten six men during his escape attempts.

It Ain’t All Flowers - Sturgill Simpson: I found this album going through the Pichfork 200 albums of the decade list and I feel like a fool for not having heard it sooner because now I am completely obsessed. Sturgill Simpson is doing the very best work in country music right now because he's looking backwards with one eye and forwards with the other and this song is a great illustration: a perfect Hank Williams Jr type country song with big voiced hollers that morphs into a surprise psych freakout for the whole second half.

Desolation Row (Take 1, Alternate Take) - Bob Dylan: I’ve always liked Desolation Row a lot as a song but the acoustic guitar on the album version is simply not good, it's just kind of mindlessly playing this long directionless solo the whole time and over the course of a song this long it really adds up to just being annoying. Luckily because it’s a Bob Dylan song there’s a whole universe of alternate takes and mixes and this is a great pared down version I found without it. The best kind of Bob Dylan songs are the ones where he just makes an endless stream of allusions and bizzare imagery, and this and Bob Dylan's 115th Dream are my favourite examples of it.

Living On Credit Blues - El Ten Eleven: This is a groove I get stuck in my head a lot, and this is also a song I think would work well as a theme for a tv show. I've been meaning to do a 30 second edit of it just for my own amusement, maybe I'll do that soon. El Ten Eleven are a duo where one guy plays drums and one guys plays a double necked guitar/bass and looping pedals and somehow against all the odds of that description they manage to make emotional, driving instrumental music of very deep feeling, like this song which is one of my all time favourites.

Dusty Flourescent/Wooden Shelves - Talkdemonic: This is sort of a companion Living On Credit Blues, and Talkdemonic are similarly an instrumental duo with good drums. This entire album from 2005 is highly recommended, it's a sort of halfway between the post rock of the time and a kind of acoustic hiphop instrumentals that ends up sounding very rustic and homemade, like a soudtrack for a winter cabin.

Turnstile Blues - Autolux: This is a perfect song, built around a perfect beat. Every part just fits perfectly.

Fort Greene Park - Battles: The new Battles album is finally out and I absolutely love it. I cannot think of another band that has shed members in the same way as Battles; originally a quartet on their first album, then a trio for their second and third and now down to a duo for their fourth album - and somehow still performing material from their first album live. The paring down has seemingly only servers to focus them and the new album sounds fresh but still distinctively Battles, with no sense of anything lost or missing. This song is my standout so far, and the guitar line in particular is so good and interesting to me because I don’t think I’ve ever heard Ian Williams play something so distinctly guitar-y in his whole career. This is a straight up pentatonic riff with bends and everything. Filtered through his usual chopped and looped oddness it feels like he’s almost gone all the back around the guitar continuum and is this close to just doing power chords next album. And I’ll support him!

Diane Young - Vampire Weekend: I've listened to this song a lot in my life and I only looked up the lyrics the other day to find out that the opening line is 'you torched a SAAB like a pile of leaves' which I somehow never noticed. What a power phrase. There's also this very good quote from Ezra about it: "I had this feeling that the world doesn’t want a song called ‘Dying Young’,“ says Koenig, "it just sounded so heavy and self-serious, whereas ‘Diane Young’ sounded like a nice person’s name.”" and he was right to do it. This song is 100 times better because he’s saying Diane Young than it would be if he was saying ‘Dying Young’. That’s a songwriting tip for you.

Monster Mash - Bootsy Collins & Buckethead: Hey did you hear Bootsy Collins and Buckethead did a cover of the monster mash? Thank god for freaks.

The Dark Sentencer - Coheed And Cambria: There's not that many bands that I absolutely loved as a teenager that I've completely abandoned. I've moved on from a lot but I'll still keep up with them if they have a new album or something. Coheed And Cambria are one that I've almost completely turned my back on. They've had 3 apparently pretty patchy albums since I stopped listening after Year Of The Black Rainbow, which was extremely bad and really taught me what people mean when they say an album is 'overproduced'. On a whim I decided to see what they're up to now and listened to their album from last year and guess what: it rocks. It's got everything you'd expect from them: big riffs, bad and confusing lyrics, his weird high voice, overwrought and overlong songwriting, cheesy muscleman solos. Everything about this band is sort of cheesy and embarrassing and takes itself way too seriously, but I'm discovering slowly that that's what's so good about it. The weird pulp sci-fi story and mindset that underpins this whole band is ridiculous and overwrought and as a result it gives the music a reason to exist the way it does. It’s so big and dumb because the story it serves is so big and dumb. It feels exactly like reading Perry Rhodan or some increidibly long and dense but not especially good series like that, it’s pulp music and that’s what I love about it.

Romance In A (6 Hands) - Sergei Rachmaninoff: Piano works for 4 hands (where two guys sit next to each other on the same piano) have always seemed to tend towards the realm of the gimmick or party trick, and works for 6 hands (where three guys do it) even more so - but this Rachmaninoff piece is just beautiful and I can’t believe I haven’t heard of it before this month. It doesn’t overload everyone with a million things to do, it just builds this very wide harmonic bed for the simple melody to swim in - then the way the melody transfers over to the middle register is just magical before the tension of the final section takes over and builds.

Love's Theme - The Love Unlimited Orchestra: I’m so glad I got to learn about the Love Unlimited Orchestra this month. Aside from having one of the best names in music, they were Barry White’s backing band and had their own solo instrumental records too. Here’s a fun aside: Kenny G was a member when he was 17 and still in high school. This is a genre of music that has seemed to totally disappear into the realm of parody and farce only which is sort of a shame because it is unironically very beautiful and dense in its own way.

Dancing In The Moonlight - Liza Minelli: Can you believe I thought Dancing In The Moonlight by Toploader was an original until the other day when my girlfriend played this Liza Minelli version that predates it by several decades? This also isn’t the original! It was written by a band named King Harvest in 1972, with this version AND a version by Young Generation both coming out in 73 and a whole bunch of others in between (including a Baha Men version in 94) before Toploader finally had a proper hit with it in 2000. Truly the world works in mysterious ways. This version is the finest I think, it just goes and goes, frenetically unwinding at a breakneck pace before opening up into a flute solo of all things and then winding up again even and finishing in a kick line breakdown. Absolutely no limits.

Girls - Royal Headache: The sheer amount of power and melody that this song manages to pack into a minute and a half is incredible, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard a more instantly relatable opening lyric than “Girl! Think they’re to fine for me! Oh girls! And I’m inclined to agree!”

Pov Piti - Matana Roberts: In anticipation of Matana Roberts new volume of her Coin Coin album series that just came out I relistened through the three previous albums and they are even more powerful than I remembered. This song serves as a pretty good mission statement for the whole project, and the heartrending tortured screams that open it set the tone for the rest of it. Matana Roberts sings the injustices of slavery into being, and her sing-song delivery highlights the trauma - her indifferent delivery mirroring the indifference of the world at large. The way she rattles off this story like she’s gone over it a million times and grown numb to the facts only accentuates the pain in the telling, a pain that rises to the surface in the screams of her instrument and herself.

Kingdoms (G) - Sunn 0))): This new Sun 0))) album is one of my favourites they’ve ever done because it’s so straightforward and back to basics. Every song is just ten minutes of straight up no-nonsense, big, rich, drone. They even put the notes in the track names so you can drone along if you like.

listen here

#playlists

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vavarekings · 5 years ago

Photo

2020 Beginner’s Guide to VAV:

Hyung Line: St. Van, Baron, Ace (top picture, left to right) Maknae Line: Ayno, Jacob, Lou, Ziu (bottom picture, left to right)

VAV

VAV stands for Very Awesome V-Rangers because they are Very Awesome Voices, Very Awesome Visuals, Very Awesome Vegetables

fun fact: Jacob came up with the VAV hand gesture because he’s a Very Awesome Virgo

shows: VCAM (vlogs of their daily lives, updated weekly) | VAV’s Apartment (1) (2) (3) | PromiSINGER (1) (2)

VAV also have their own free app for android and ios where they do weekly live chats with live eng subs! you can also buy merch there

all of VAV are Big Boys, most members are over 6ft. Lou is the tallest at approximately 6′3″ and Ace is the shortest at approximately 5′10″

Title Tracks

2015: Under the Moonlight

2016: Brotherhood | No Doubt | Here I Am

2017: Venus | Flower | ABC | She’s Mine

2018: Spotlight | Gorgeous | Señorita | So In Love

2019: Thrilla Killa | I’m Sorry | Give Me More | Poison

Members

(Everything mentioned is 100% true but I didn’t link my sources because most aren’t in English.)

St. Van: leader, vocal

real name: 이금혁, 金赫, Lee Geumhyuk. “Geumhyuk” was given by his father and it means “shines like gold”

born December 22, 1991. currently 28 years old (international age)

originally from Daegu, South Korea but spent about half of his life in China

immediate family: father, mother, younger brother

fluent in Korean & Mandarin

predebut life: he originally planned on being a chef and studied culinary for a year. his parents influenced him to pursue music as a career. he trained for 4-5 years and debuted with VAV in 2015

future dreams/goals: first win on a music program. wants people to feel happy and refreshed when they think of VAV’s music

composed and wrote almost all of the Korean lyrics in VAV’s I’m Sorry

ideal type: someone small who can fit in his arms. someone he can comfortably talk with. prefers long hair instead of short hair. prefers someone sweet instead of someone charismatic. prefers skirts instead of dresses

Baron: dancer, vocal, visual

real name: 최충협, Choi Chunghyeop

born April 19, 1992. currently 27 years old (international age).

originally from Osan, South Korea

immediate family: father, late mother, older sister

family life: he was very close with his mother, her nickname for him was “Little Prince.” as a child, his mother often had to buy him new pants because he would rip the knee areas from playing so much [lol little Roni was so cute]. his father’s birthday is on Christmas and his family used to celebrate both occasions by going to church on Christmas day and giving him a cake. as a child, he used to wish for large packs of colored pencils for Christmas

fluent in Korean. likes learning languages and speaks beginner-intermediate level English & Japanese, he’s self-taught

predebut life: he chose to become an idol because his mother inspired him by always playing music for him as a child. Yoo Seungjun was one of his biggest inspirations. he studied singing and dancing for two years then in January of 2012, Baron was a barista who wanted to become a trainee so he submitted an online application then went on an audition program in May of 2012, he passed because of his dancing skills. he later joined One Million Dance Studio and originally trained to be a choreographer. in 2014, he became a temporary backup dancer for girl group Minx. he debuted with VAV in 2015

future dreams/goals: domestic success by getting a first win on a music program in South Korea. international success by ranking on the Billboard music chart

Baron’s audition tape, solo projects, and favorite music are listed here

in December of 2018 he revealed his entire skincare routine, it’s listed here

he’s a really sweet, generous person. a small compilation of some of his best moments can be found here

he’s also very playful and likes to push people’s buttons. a few examples of his sense of humor can be found here

some basic facts about him can be found here

a profile card he filled out can be found here

baron is ambidextrous, he favors his left hand for cooking/chopping/cleaning/writing but can use his right hand for everything as well. he plays right-handed guitar

ideal type: someone with big, pretty eyes. “because I am human too, I will also look at their body” [asldkfjslkjf bARON OMG] someone honest. someone punctual with strong self-discipline. prefers dresses instead of skirts. he once picked Selena Gomez as his ideal type amongst celebrities

Ace: prince, vocal

real name: 장우영, Jang Wooyoung. it means “give and help. live a prosperous life”

born August 28, 1992. currently 27 years old (international age)

originally from Anyang, South Korea. went to high school in Seoul

immediate family: father, mother, older sister

family life: it was once revealed that Ace talks to his parents everyday

fluent in Korean. beginner-level English

predebut life: as a student, his hobby was dancing so he decided to become an idol. he trained for 5-6 years and debuted with VAV in 2015

future dreams/goals: first win on a music program. in 2018, he said he’d like to be married within 10 years time

he started learning to play guitar for Señorita and has kept going with it ever since

he gave himself the nickname “Prince” and said the national flower of Prince Ace-land is a red rose

he wrote/composed VAV’s Sweet Heart by himself and published it after working on it for over 8 months. he made it to express how he feels about vampz. baron said he paid close attention to ace as he worked on this song and was very impressed with Ace’s hard work, he’s proud to be a member in the same group as Ace.

ideal type: someone cute with a bright personality, likes tall girls. someone he can exercise with. prefers someone younger instead of someone older. pays more attention to someone’s body instead of their face. prefers dresses over skirts. he once picked love over friendship. he once joked that, because he often goes to the hospital, it’d be good to marry a doctor so he saves on medical expenses [lol what a virgo].

Ayno: rapper, vocal, dancer, visual

real name: 노윤호, Noh Yoonho

born May 1, 1996. currently 23 years old (international age)

originally from Ansan, South Korea

immediate family: father, mother, older brother, younger sister

family life: when he was a child, his future goal was to be a good husband because he viewed his father as a good role model. as a child, he used to wish for a dog for Christmas

fluent in Korean

predebut life: Ayno was a child actor (he’s been in multiple commercials and had a minor role in Boys Over Flowers) who decided to pursue music. was a trainee for about a decade. participated in No.Mercy but was eliminated in the 9th episode. he debuted with VAV in 2017

future dreams/goals: first win on a music program. in 2018, he said that he would like to be a father with a family of his own in 10 years time

apart from his instagram, he also has his own SoundCloud

his solo projects and favorite music are listed here

Ayno composed/wrote most of the lyrics in Touch You, here’s a full English translation of the lyrics

Ayno partially composed Runway and wrote the lyrics for it. he wrote some of the lyrics in VAV’s ABC, Flower, Give It To Me, Señorita, I’m Sorry, Touch You, Give Me More, Un Poco Más (Remix), 119

Ayno’s very witty and playful. VAV once said that Ayno’s pranks are 19+. a small compilation of his sense of humor can be found here

ideal type: someone hard to get. prefers skirts over dresses. prefers someone older instead of someone younger. once picked work over love

Jacob: vocal, rapper

real name: 张朋, Zhang Peng. he favors this spelling of his name, he even has a bracelet with “Zhang Peng” engraved on it!

born September 7, 1996. currently 23 years old (international age)

originally from Hubei, China

immediate family: father, mother

family life: when asked what he would like to pass onto his children he said “my love. so much love. I will love you most.” [he’s so sweet >.<]

fluent in Mandarin. advanced-level Korean. basic English

predebut life: his trainee period lasted about a year, he said it went smoothly and encountered no major problems. he debuted with VAV in 2015

future dreams/goals: wants to meet more fans and wishes for VAV to last a long time and do well on music charts

apart from his instagram, he has his own tiktok and weibo

solo projects: Jacob debuted as a solo artist with his song Love Night and was featured in Xiao’s Trouble. in 2017 he starred in the movie “The Dreamer on the Catwalk”

Jacob has a cold, stoic appearance at first glance but once he starts talking he’s very cute and is often seen giggling and clapping for his members. He also has a very blunt and witty sense of humor, shown here

Jacob has said that, because he’s a Virgo, he’s very detail-oriented and helps the other members during their practices. Ziu said that whenever they do something wrong Jacob corrects them by speaking perfect, fluent Korean yet when they correct Jacob he suddenly doesn’t understand Korean. [i love him hahahah]

ideal type: someone cute with a pretty heart. prefers skirts over dresses

Lou: rapper, vocal

real name: 김호성, Kim Hosung. it means “shining star”

born December 21, 1996. currently 23 years old (international age)

originally from Seoul, South Korea. spent some time in Atlanta, Georgia, USA as a child and four years in the Philippines as a teenager.

immediate family: father, mother

family life: he’s very close with his mother and often goes out to eat with her

fluent in Korean. advanced-level English

predebut life: he originally planned to go to university but was scouted by an entertainment company and trained for 3-4 years. he debuted with VAV in 2017

future dreams/goals: first win on a music program. he’s interested in acting and has already been in a web-drama. wants VAV to be remembered as a group that always puts out good music

solo projects: was in the web-drama Lemon Car Video and released the single Good Night

he wrote a few of the lyrics in ABC, Gorgeous, Give It To Me, Señorita, Thrilla Killa, I’m Sorry, Touch You, Give Me More, Un Poco Más (Remix)

ideal type: someone with a caring, mother-like personality. someone who can cook well. someone pretty. prefers skirts instead of dresses

Ziu: vocal, human maknae

real name: 박희준, Park Heejun. it means “happy and shining”

born June 16, 1997. currently 22 years old (international age)

originally from Seoul, South Korea.

immediate family: father, mother, older twin sisters

family life: he’s close with his mother. once when he was asked to pick someone as the most handsome member of the group he picked himself because “my mom says I’m the most handsome” [lol what a cutie]. has said his father works with the USA army [I’m assuming he means that his father works with an American military base in Korea] and that’s why he understands some English.

fluent in Korean, beginner-level English

predebut life: he was inspired to become a singer when he was in middle school and watched a performance by Rain with his mother. he trained for 5 years and debuted with VAV in 2017

future dreams/goals: first win on a music program. visit Area 51. try out other music genres such as ballad pop

solo projects: was featured in Ayno’s Don’t Sleep

ideal type: someone with prominent facial features (eyes, nose, jaw) like him. prefers skirts instead of dresses. prefers sexiness instead of innocence [...ziu O.O ]

*bonus profile under the cut

Cash: puppy maknae, beloved little sister

real name: 캐시, Cash

born December 22, 2018. currently 9 years old (dog years)

originally from China

breed: Shar Pei

immediate family: 7 older brothers (St. Van, Baron, Ace, Ayno, Jacob, Lou, Ziu)

family life: Cash is very loved amongst VAV, she has been spotted watching their music show performances and observing them practice. St. Van likes to gently pet Cash to help her sleep well

fluent in Korean, Mandarin, & English (Cash runs a Twitter and Instagram where she interacts with vampz in multiple languages [uwu she’s the world’s cutest and sweetest puppy uwu])

life before VAV: cute puppy living in China

future dreams/goals: live happily with VAV, see VAV’s first win

Cash doesn’t like broccoli

Cash is sometimes bullied by Spirit but Cash is kindhearted and still loves Spirit

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