#always defying expectations <3< /div>
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Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington season 1 -> season 4
#stancy#stancyedit#stranger things#strangerthingsedit#stedit#sthingsedit#steve harrington#nancy wheeler#steve x nancy#mine*#always defying expectations <3
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It's been rolling around in my brain the last few days for some reason, but I still hate the family backstory reveals for Sophie and Eliot. I've seen some of the meta for it, but quite frankly, it still makes no sense. If it had been something actually thought of and intentional in the original, I think it could have been so fascinating. I mean, Sophie's willing abandonment of Astrid to contrast with Nate's loss of Sam or Eliot's adoption in contrast with Hardison's and Parker's? Could have been excellent! But they came out of nowhere in Redemption and don't work with these characters.
Sophie was still actively using the fucking alias that she met Astrid under! She met with someone from her past on the show! Like. Quite frankly, that one is unequivocally bullshit that they made up and threw in and pretended could fit with the established canon. (And I'm sorry, but the idea of Sophie abandoning Astrid and never telling Nate about her just... So much of Nate's trauma was rooted in the loss of Sam, and I think that introducing this element after he's gone and unable to respond to it taints Sophie and Nate's relationship in a way bc I'm not exactly sure how Nate would've responded to learning about this but I think that it's something he'd have needed to know. I don't know how to fully express my thoughts on that but yeah.)
As for Eliot, I don't like the adoption aspect literally at all. The way that he would interact with his family and the memory of his family would be different, and I think that it's flat out ridiculous to think that he'd have never mentioned it to the team in the original show, especially when dealing with the kid cases. (I also dislike the biracial adoption as its own element because if Eliot was actually raised by Black parents in the... idk what 80s/90s? That just. doesn't feel congruent with how they write Eliot interacting with PoC, not necessarily in a bad way, but babe, he's written like a white southern man raised in a specific kind of culture that does not jell with that. It also makes Eliot look... really bad that he was apparently raised with the knowledge of how fucked up the military was and his parents' history and made the choices that he did.) Like the show may not have explicitly stated it but the implication of that relationship was vastly fucking different throughout the original show.
Just. These were not backstories that were congruent with their depiction and characters in the original show, and they're also just moves that I don't particularly like or find interesting directions for those characters. There's also something to be said about how it was apparently unacceptable for a woman to not have kids or someone not reconciling with their biological family when that was something that the original show handled a lot better. Out of all the directions to take Sophie and Eliot's stories, that's just not really one that I think was a good idea.
#i'm not sure if i worded this v well tbh which concerns me#bc like. like i said i dont like the adoption plot anyways but part of my problem with that storyline IS that billy is black#bc i don't think that the way eliot is written makes sense if he was raised by a black couple during that decade#bc the way that he would have engaged with his family and community and the world around him would've been different#especially bc he was raised in the fucking south in the 80s#bc i dont think eliot was ever racist in the original show but i dont think that he really knew#how it was different for poc in certain ways that dont make sense if he was raised by a black couple#like the previous implications of his childhood and specifically his father were v much in the stereotypical v pro military be a man cultur#that culture is also v rooted in toxic masculinity and whiteness#God i hope that makes sense bc i feel like that sounds v bad#but i'd love more black characters on the show and i think that for pretty much any other mc that'd have been fine#it's specifically eliot with the space that he occupies that i feel like it's a problem with his backstory#which also is why i dont like that he's adopted at all bc that's an influential part in how you first view your place and family and all th#that i dont think makes sense with eliot's character. like literally nothing about that reveal really feels like it makes sense with eliot#and to move over to sophie for a second i feel like bringing up the abandoned stepdaughter would have been pretty damn important#when sophie was struggling with the idea of who she really was beneath the aliases and the grift#and especially when she's in a relationship with nate who WAS a father like#and that she used the charlotte alias to meet with someone from her past but there wasnt anything about the fallout#which still makes no fricking sense either way#also insert something about sophie being an older woman without kids#(i know there's the ot3 but they're not actually in a position as her kids bc theyre still equals in a sense)#and needing to actually go no no she was a mom! and then bailed and did all this and blah blah but she's always been a mom in her heart <3#and adding in this relationship as if an older woman cant be satisfied or complete without kids#and i know that ppl might bring up parker but like lbr parker is positioned in a v different space narratively than sophie#ofc parker doesn't have kids she's positioned in a space as the Odd one the kinda broken one#her defying the expectations narratively doesnt necessarily work the same bc of her place#idk i kinda hope these dont end up in the main tags bc idk how ppl will respond nor how well i actually got across my points#but i do wanna tag them for my blog so#leverage#sophie devereaux
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hmpf maybe those tumblr people are really right about what characteristics make a type of person, considering how long it took tumblr to condition took me, a straight/cisgender guy, into being into shipping
#i joined this site/first heard about fandom and got exposed to the subcultures on here like four years or so ago i think#though its a bit hard to remember#but anyway thats bloody ages ffor someone my age#at first#as in for the first 3 years or so#i was like this is just for short term im literally just about to leave#i literally kept believing that for years#and i was and still am only on here cause of being depressed or whatever so it makes sense really#just now i dont really care about leaving even though its still really not my thing#its just like the easy entertainment not having to think its so much less concentration even than watching tv#but it also always felt wrong its really not my thing only now i dont care i supppose cause im old enough and secure enough in my#identity to be able to seperate that from this#wait i suppose if i put it like that after the actual post it sounds a bit weird obviously i dont hate the lgbtq community or snything#i mean if i did i definitely wouldve left#its just in general the subcultures on here arent me#that does include that one but like if youre not lgbtq your just not going to relate to it i suppose#not the stuff thats actually about that or the stuff that i dont see how its related at all#which is what loops back to my post#like is fandom and shipping really so much determined by that or is it personality i dunno#something about being on here ive noticed though is i have come to expect like lgbtq stuff cause of honestly spending more time interacting#with fandom than actual fiction so thats sortif what registers as normal now not that i have an opinion on that affect of fandom#but yeah anyway my post ive only actually genuinly been into any ships over the last like 6 months or so#well maybe a year but its defi itely been gradual#like i dont genuinly believe that its cause im a straight guy that i wasnt into it before#well actually i didnt when i started this post i was joking#but now that i think about it maybe that is it?#like different expectations make me think i should be into different stuff and its taken me this long being exposed to tumblrs norms#cause theyre not the actual norms for me theyre just on here#not that that accounts for whether its something i genuinly like or not though whoch is what i was making fun of in the post#i suppose what you genuinly like is a lot influenced by other people really
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On camera
PART 4 OF KINKTOBER | MAIN MASTERLIST
Roommate!Spencer x Camgirl!Reader Spencer requests to take on a more involved role in one of your live streams.
content: (18+) 4k, exhibitionism/voyeur, reader wears lingerie, unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, overstimulation (surprisingly it’s him for once), and a hint of cockwarming at the end a/n: this is the second part to a special show although you don't necessarily have to read it to understand what’s happening. this took a while because… there was a little pressure? i didn’t expect people to wait on this i hope it lives up to the expectations, let me know what you think my cuties<3
You nudged your foot against his. “We don’t have to do this, you know. I don’t mind.”
“I’m fine."
"Are you sure? You've been quiet ever since you sat down."
He felt the words knot up in his throat. The quiet wasn’t hesitation, it was disbelief. The kind that lingered in the gap between what he imagined and what was happening. The lack of conviction that defied logic, even when he was the one who initiated to exist beyond just a pair of hands at the edges of the frame.
"Spence?”
He glanced at you. Deep pools of brown drowning in lust swept over the piece of lingerie you decided to put on tonight. Even without much fashion sense, Spencer could appreciate the soft frills of purple lace clinging to your figure. The garter belt wrapped snugly around your waist, leading down to thin straps that framed your smooth thighs, and every logical thought he tried to root out slipped away the longer he looked at you.
Wait. Purple?
Purple.
Although Spencer was sure it probably had a fancier, specific name that bordered on… lilac? Lavender? Or something else elusive he couldn’t quite pin down. To him it was just purple. He might not have the vocabulary to describe the exact shade, but he knew the way it looked on you was nothing short of captivating.
“You’re wearing purple.”
The frown creased between your brows as you tried to make sense of his sudden observation.
“I am.” Your lips formed a slight pout. “And you still haven’t answered my question.“
And he still couldn’t bring himself to answer.
“I thought you were supposed to be Princess Pink?”
The words left his mouth before he could stop them. It was true. Pink was your color. The soft, playful blush had always been part of your alter ego. You shifted on your feet, glancing down at the purple lace hugging your hips before meeting his eyes again. A small, hesitant smile tugged at the corners of your lips, and for a moment, you looked almost… shy.
“Well, yeah,” you admitted, your voice so soft it dipped into a tone he wasn’t used to hearing from you. Your fingers traced the edge of the fabric absently, and you glanced away again as if finding the floor more interesting.
“I thought maybe… it might help, you know? Calm your nerves or something.” The nervous laugh creeping out of you sounded strained. “I know you like purple… so I figured…”
The corner of his lips curled upwards. His smile reminded you of the times he caught you off guard with a look that was equally amused and deeply affectionate as if he couldn’t believe his luck.
“You wore it for me?”
You felt warmth rise to your neck but decided there was no point in hiding it. “I thought it might make this less scary for you.”
His smile faltered. “I’m not scared.”
“Spencer, you’re about to get naked.”
“You’ve seen me naked before.”
You couldn’t help but let out an amused laugh. He stated it so plainly with no hint of self-consciousness or hesitation. And technically, he was right. You had seen him completely, wholly bare more times than you could count by now ever since that first night you stripped away his innocence.
You still remembered how you had pulled him across the line from a curious roommate to someone who wanted to know every inch of your body. And that night turned into another, and then another, until what you were doing stopped being about one-off hookups and started blurring the boundaries you’d drawn between friendship and something more. Something you couldn't quite put your finger on that felt heavier than lust but not quite defined as love.
Spencer was a roommate, a friend, a lover, and eventually, an active participant in your live streams.
His hands were, at least.
You took a step forward, slipping between his legs where he sat comfortably at the edge of your bed. “I have seen you naked,” you agreed, “but they haven’t.”
His hands hovered at your waist, fingers twitching over your lace as if he wasn’t sure where to put them. He glanced up at you, his gaze flickering between your eyes and your lips before he finally admitted, “Okay… maybe I am a little nervous.”
“I know, but you don’t need to be. Think of it this way, the people who are going to see us will only be jealous of you.”
“Why would they be jealous of me?”
“Because you’re the one who gets to be with me.” You reached up to brush his hair back from his face, tucking those long, unruly strands behind his ear. “They’re in their rooms jerking off to a screen while you get to kiss me.”
A kiss fell on his lips.
“Touch me.”
Another peck.
“And fuck me.”
He chased your lips this time, his mouth puckering before he closed the gap. His words were muffled against you, “I am pretty lucky.”
“The luckiest,” you mumbled back. A soft smack of a kiss lingered in the air when you pulled away. “And you don’t have to worry, once we get started, you’ll be too distracted to remember what you were even nervous about.”
He hummed, the sound deep and rumbling in his chest as his grip on your waist tightened. “I think you might be right.”
“Good.” You moved to the side of the bed. “Now let me set up the camera.”
The tripod attached to the top of your computer screen wobbled slightly as you fiddled with it, adjusting the device until the lens angled down. You observed the setup, making sure it captured your body and the way Spencer’s hand rested on your waist without revealing either of your faces.
Perfect.
“You ready?”
Surprisingly, he was.
With a slight nod from him, you turned on the live stream.
Princess_Pink is online.
Spencer’s eyes widened as the chat erupted in a flurry of notifications, messages pouring in so rapidly they blurred into an endless stream of words.
“That’s a lot of people," he muttered under his breath.
“That’s the usual amount of people.”
“No, it’s not,” he countered. “I can’t even keep up with the chat.” Which was saying a lot. For someone who could read entire pages of text in mere seconds, this was overwhelming in a way he hadn’t anticipated.
“Don’t let them intimidate you.” You turned around and slipped between his legs again, feeling the way his knees instinctively parted to make space. “Just focus on me.”
Spencer barely managed to nod before your lips met his again, and with that, everything else seemed to dissolve. He could never quite get used to how effortlessly you could unravel him with just a kiss. His hands slid up the back of your thigh, the rough pads of his fingers brushing over your skin as they trembled slightly, grazing the delicate strap of your garter before settling firmly on your ass.
A surprised giggle bubbled out of you.
“Easy there,” you murmured, catching his bottom lip gently between your teeth before letting it go with a playful tug. “I have to greet them first.”
He reluctantly loosened his grip, letting his fingers linger on you for a final moment before slipping away to rest at his sides. His eyes remained fixed on you as you turned away, shifting your focus back to the screen and reaching over to the mic.
A faint hum filled the room as it came to life. Spencer could feel his breaths gradually falling into sync before your sweet voice cut through the silence like honey.
“Hi, boys,” you purred, letting the greeting roll off your tongue. “Did you miss me?"
Princess.no1.fan: Princess!!! JadenCums: we missed those tits Adam_4432: fucking hot as always Adam_4432: purple looks good on you Crazydick: who's the skinny loser at the back
You rolled your eyes as the comment popped up in the chat.
“This is getting old,” you said with a sigh, fingers hovering over the mouse. “You’re all obsessed with him.”
With a quick flick of your wrist, you blocked the troll and watched with satisfaction as his name disappeared from the list. Spencer tried to peek over your shoulder. “What did they say?”
“Nothing important,” you replied lightly, brushing it off as you turned back to the mic. "Didn’t I tell you guys to play nice?”
Princess.no1.fan: i always play nice with you JadenCums: they’re just jealous of your boy toy Adam_4432: ignore the haters, babe BigBoss88: let him stay in the background ThickNick: you're gorgeous princess
“Remember, if you can’t behave, you don’t get to stay. And I don’t think any of you want to miss out on what we've prepared."
That was his cue, right? He forced down the tightness in his throat, the sensation catching and shifting like a dry click as his pulse quickened. With a quiet exhale, he slipped off the edge of the bed and made his way behind you.
There was a moment of hesitation. But his doubt faded into the background as he focused on the curve of your waist beneath his fingers. He let his hands move slowly, tracing upward with a touch that lingered at the dip of your spine until his fingers brushed the delicate lace of your bra.
Wide hands covered the soft swell of your breasts.
Princess.no1.fan sent a $50 gift.
“See?” you breathed, pressing your back against him. “You play nice, you get to enjoy the show.”
He couldn’t help but squeeze your flesh, fingers sinking in and then pulling back, the skin dimpling under the pressure before slowly springing back. His veins looked prominent, winding up his forearm like delicate, raised lines that caught the light on camera every time he moved over the fabric of your bra.
And the lace offered the thinnest barrier. He could feel the way your nipple firmed underneath his touch, straining subtly as if it, too, was reaching out for more. He traced small, lazy circles around it, and when you arched into him, he had to bite back a smile. He pressed a kiss on your shoulder instead.
“You’re so good at this,” you muttered, letting your hand drift up to the back of his head, fingers threading through his hair.
He let out a quiet hum of acknowledgment, his fingers hooking under the edge of your bra’s cup before pulling it down. Your breasts bounced slightly, settling naturally in his palm as the lace slipped away.
“I’ve had a lot of practice.”
A soft moan escaped you as he began to explore, and Spencer couldn’t help the surge of satisfaction that followed. He was rougher than he intended to be at times, testing the line between what made you shiver and what made you push back for more. It was the way he rolled both of your nipples between his fingers, alternating between gentle pinches and firmer twists, that finally drew the most telling reaction—a subtle, instinctive rub of your ass against him.
He took it as a sign to touch you further, one hand drifting lower while the other stayed firmly in place. Goosebumps prickled over your skin as he slid down your stomach until he reached the edge of your panties. His fingers skimmed along the waistband, and you could feel his breath coming in quick, shallow bursts as he brushed his knuckles underneath the delicate material, hesitating.
Adam_4432 sent you a $100 gift.
That was enough to break through his hesitation. Without a word, he slipped his fingers beneath the lace.
The heat between your thighs greeted him, and there was no mistaking what that meant. You were wet, so wet that his fingers glided over your folds like silk. He couldn’t help but feel a flicker of smugness as each subtle shift seemed to draw a new sound from your lips.
He let his fingers slide lower, searching, and when he finally found your clit, brushing his fingertips lightly over it, you jerked in his arms. The tiny, sensitive nub was swollen and begging for attention as it pulsed under his touch like a racing heartbeat. He gave gentle rubs. Slow circles. Steady pressure. The more he explored, the more your arousal smeared against his fingertips.
“Oh—you’re gonna make me cum so fast,” you gasped. You threw your head back against his shoulder, letting out a whine you knew would drive your viewers wild. “What do you think, boys? Should he make me cum now?”
The chat lit up instantly, flooded with messages begging you to let go, but between the rapid scroll of usernames and flashing emojis, one message caught your eye.
Looking4Sluts: no Looking4Sluts: cum on his cock Looking4Sluts sent you a $200 gift.
The notification flashed across the screen, and you felt a surge of adrenaline, a wicked smile playing on your lips. “Do you see that, baby?”
He nodded against your neck.
“They want more of you,” you purred, letting your hips roll back against him, pressing yourself closer to his obvious erection. “They want to see just how good you make me feel.”
Your words went straight to his cock. His touch suddenly changed as he began to move faster against your clit, and a choked gasp spilled from your lips. But just as the pressure started to build rapidly, you quickly grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand from your panties.
“No, not yet,” you stopped him, turning your head to catch his ear, your lips brushing against the shell. “Wanna cum on your cock.”
He watched as you reached down and slowly hooked your fingers into the sides of your panties, sliding them down your legs. A thin string of your arousal followed as you lowered the fabric, clinging to the lace before it finally broke and left a glistening trail against your thigh.
His balls tightened painfully.
Princess.no1.fan: Holy shit, that’s so fucking hot JadenCums: fisting my cock so hard Fatcock_777: wreck that damn pussy PussyLover69: i bet she’s fucking tight Looking4Sluts: jesus christ, she’s dripping
Spencer’s mind emptied the moment you leaned forward, planting your palms firmly on the desk for balance. The way your body arched made his pulse stutter, a surge of heat rushing through him so quickly it almost left him lightheaded.
“Like… this? Standing?”
You glanced back at him over your shoulder. “Exactly like this.”
He could barely think straight. His hands moved on their own, one sliding over your hips, gripping you firmly, while the other fumbled with his waistband, desperately tugging his pants down. The fabric slid down over his thighs, and he bit back a groan as his cock sprang free, hard and aching, pressing against the bare skin of your ass.
He could feel the heat of you against him, and it took every ounce of self-control to keep himself from sinking into you all at once. He pressed in closer, feeling the steady thrum of his pulse echoing in the ache between you both as the tip of his cock settled right where your folds parted. He rocked his hips in shallow motions.
“Baby…” You tilted your hips just enough to align with him, “no teasing."
But hearing those words only made him want to draw it out even more. He let his bulging head nudge at your hole, barely dipping in before pulling back, feeling the way you instinctively pressed against him.
"Spe—" you faltered, then groaned. "Stop it."
He couldn’t help but smile as his fingers found the straps of your garter belt. He tugged on one gently, watching the elastic snap back against your skin. "But you look so pretty."
"I'll look prettier with your cock inside me."
That did it. With one last shaky exhale, Spencer gripped your hips firmly and began to sink himself into you, feeling the tight, warm stretch of your cunt.
“Oh my god,” you gasped. He felt a slight resistance as your body adjusted to him. He carefully gave a few gentle thrusts, easing in and out just enough for you to relax.
Looking4Sluts: fuck yes JadenCums: she's so fucking tight PeachyKeen420: look at him stretching her PussyFiend69: just watching this is gonna make me cum HotForTits: Fuck her harder dude she wants it
His eyes flickered to that last comment, and something inside him shifted, like a switch flipping. Without another thought, without any lingering trace of hesitation, he tightened his grip on your hips and pushed in all at once.
Your moan tore through the air. So. Fucking. Loud.
HotForTits sent you a $300 gift
The notification flashed across the screen, but Spencer barely registered it, his control was slipping further away as his hips moved on their own. He started to grind into you, eyes traveling to your connected bodies. You were practically swallowing his cock, clenching so tightly around him that he felt like you were pulling him deeper, refusing to let him go.
In a way, you did beg for it. Each time you met his thrusts with an eager roll of your hips, the sound of skin slapping together echoed around you. He would have thought he’d be shy doing this in front of so many watchful eyes, but the way you moved against him made it impossible to care.
It only made him bolder. He let his hand slide up your back, fingers fumbling slightly with the clasp of your bra before he unhooked it. The straps slipped down your shoulders, sliding down your arms, and then you were completely, utterly naked, except for the garter hugging your thighs.
You were so pretty like this, so incredibly beautiful it made his pulse stutter in his veins. You were so pretty that it was almost disorienting, as if looking at you too long might make him forget where he was. And in his mind, all the lofty notions of beauty and art seemed to fall flat compared to seeing you like this. He needed to see all of you.
A startled whimper left your lips when he suddenly pulled out.
“Can you angle the camera down?"
There was a knowing look in your eyes. Your fingers moved to adjust the tripod, and he wasted no time stripping himself. By the time you were done angling the camera, he was already sitting on the edge of your bed, his cock throbbing against his stomach.
He looked painfully hard. Hard enough that every heartbeat seemed to pulse visibly along his length. You crawled onto his lap.
“Hi.”
His palm found the curve of your hip. "Hi."
“Are you okay?”
He nodded, his fingers tightening around the base of his cock as he urged you to lift your hips. “I think I’m starting to understand why you do this.”
“Yeah?”
"Mhm.” He nudged his tip between your folds. “It’s kind of exciting.”
You let out a soft, breathy laugh, fingers curling into his shoulder for balance as you began to lower yourself. “See? Nothing to be nervous about.”
A deep groan escaped his lips the moment your walls tightened around him. “You make this seem easy.”
“Maybe you’re just a natural.”
He gave a low chuckle, but it caught in his throat when he felt the full length of his cock buried inside you. “I… ah… I think you’re the one making me look good.”
“Shut up,” you replied with a grin, burying your face in the crook of his neck. “You don’t need any help looking good right now, trust me.”
Spencer wasn’t entirely sure what to think about that. He’d never seen himself like this, not in the way you did. But when he glanced over your shoulder, catching a glimpse of the screen and the way your hips rolled over him, he started to believe it.
He looked like… well, like the porn he’d watched late at night in his room before you came along. But better. The kind that didn’t seem real, the kind that made him question if anyone actually had sex like that. He knew the vast majority of what’s portrayed in porn is exaggerated with only a small percentage even close to reality. Except this was real. It was really him, and you made it look like he knew what he was doing.
And sure, maybe he did in some way, albeit you being his only real experience. But that was the thing—he knew what made you tick. He could read the way your body reacted, knew the subtle cues that signaled when a whisper of his fingers could coax out a whimper or when the right shift of his hips would leave you trembling. And more than anything else, he knew how much you liked being watched.
He knew just how much it turned you on.
With that thought in mind, Spencer grabbed the firm swell of your ass and spread you open.
JadenCums: fuck yes FatCock69: she’s so wet BigdickXX: damn, I wish I could feel that pussy ILovePinkPrincess: spread her wider TommyGoode sent you a $200 giftDaddyDom92 sent you a $300 gift.
Your body squirmed beneath his hands.
“Babe… what are you doing?”
He ran his tongue over his lips. “Giving them what they want.”
Then he spread your flesh even further, fingers digging into your supple skin as he held you open. The sight was undeniably lewd, and yet he couldn’t deny the surge of pride swelling in his chest as he held you like this, putting you on full display. But more than that, it was what you wanted. The tension coiled in his muscles as he thrust his hips up, watching the movement play out in the reflection over his shoulder.
He could see everything. The slow drag of his cock, the way it stretched you open with each push, leaving no inch of you untouched. Every time he thrust up into you, his length came back slick and shining, catching the light for a split second before disappearing inside you again.
There was something hypnotic in the rhythm, in the way your body seemed to swallow him whole. And somewhere in that steady push and pull, you visibly clenched around him, a vice-like grip that sent a shudder through his body and pulled a deep, harsh groan from his throat.
His hands tightened their grip on you, and before he could think twice, his hips began moving faster. You squealed, an actual high-pitched sound that he hadn’t expected. It was almost cute in a way—if cute was even the right word for what was happening. But there was nothing cute about the way his body reacted to that sound.
His hips bucked upward, again and again by an instinct he couldn’t control. He was so lost in the sensation of your warm, slick pussy that he barely registered the rising tension in his own body. It wasn’t until his muscles locked up, his hips jerking with one final, forceful snap, that it all crashed over him.
Oh shit.
A sudden rush of heat coursed through him as he spilled inside you, the realization hitting him a second too late. His breath came in shallow gasps, a deep groan escaping his throat as pleasure overwhelmed him, leaving him stunned and gasping for air.
You paused, feeling the unmistakable warmth of his release slowly seep inside you. “Baby?”
His eyes widened. “I’m sorry,” he blurted, sliding his hands up your waist. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to—that was—”
Fast didn’t even come close to describing what happened.
You cut him off with a soft laugh, shaking your head as your fingers gently cupped his jaw. “Oh, honey,” you cooed. “There’s nothing to apologize for.”
His eyes flickered to the camera behind you. “I ruined everything, didn’t I?”
You followed his gaze, then turned back to him with a smile. “Of course not,” you said softly, threading your fingers through his hair. “You kind of made everything better, actually.”
His brows knitted together. “I did?”
You nodded and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.
“Do you know…”
You started to roll your hips again.
“How hot it is…”
A soft squelch filled the air.
“To fuck with your cum inside me?”
He could barely comprehend the words that had just left your mouth, let alone the feeling of you moving against him. His eyelids struggled to stay open, the question catching in his throat before it spilled out in a breathy whisper. “Hot?”
“Insanely hot.”
Spencer couldn’t describe what happened after that. Obscene didn’t even begin to cover it. Surreal, maybe? But even that word felt lacking. It was all too real. You were rocking your hips on his lap, and the wet, sticky sounds filling the room were undeniably his own doing.
He held your hips tighter, half in an effort to steady himself, half because he didn’t know what else to do. The words were gone. Logic was gone. The only thing that existed was you, grinding against him with the same intensity that had already undone him once.
And he knew he was going to lose it again.
You leaned forward, your forehead pressing gently against his. “Spence, baby,” you whispered, making sure your voice was soft, just loud enough that only he could hear. “Can you fuck me again?”
He couldn’t say no even if he tried. His hands slipped beneath your thighs, fingers curling with just enough force to lift you, tilting your hips for better leverage. The shift pulled a startled gasp from you and you clung to him for balance, but he didn’t give you a moment to catch your breath. His hips met yours in a swift, demanding snap.
The sound of your body meeting was unmistakable, a rhythmic slap that would’ve made him blush if he were in any state to think clearly. But right now, all he could focus on was the mess he’d made of you, the way his cum seeped out, sliding down his cock in slow drips. Whenever he thrust into you, there seemed to be more spilling out, leaving thick, creamy streaks painted across your inner thighs.
Spencer had messy sex before (all with you, of course) but this was on a whole different level. It was chaotic—unapologetically filthy. The wetness between you spread everywhere. He could feel it pooling against his thighs, trickling down your legs, and the damp sheets beneath you were clinging uncomfortably to his knees while the heady scent of sex hit his nostrils.
And your voice wasn’t helping his self-control. It was high-pitched with a tremor, somewhere between a moan and a desperate whine tumbling out in a jumble of words that barely made any sense. Your voice grew higher each minute, more frantic, until finally, he could make out a few clear words through the haze.
“Gonna c-cum,” you moaned, “I’m gonna cu—ah fuck yesyesyes—”
A final, helpless cry pushed him over the edge.
He came for the second time tonight. He tried to hold back, but the way you were clenching around him, your body pulsing through your sudden orgasm tore down what little control he had left. He groaned, burying his face in your neck as his release overtook him again, shocked that he still had anything left to give as he emptied inside you.
The intensity bordered on painful. He could feel his body pushing to its limits and every pulse of pleasure felt like it was wringing him dry. And it was no less intense for you. You jerked against him, body twitching, sweat beading on your skin. Your muscles tightened and relaxed with the rhythm of his racing heartbeat as the last spark of pleasure finally washed over you.
Neither of you moved for a while after that. The only sound in the room was your labored breathing, the heavy rise and fall of your chests pressed together.
You were the first to break the silence.
“Baby,” you hummed, a soft, breathless laugh escaping your lips, “I think that might’ve been the hottest stream we’ve ever done.”
It took a second for your words to sink in, and when they did, his eyes widened slightly. The camera was still on. The audience was still there. His nose pressed harder against your neck as he tried to hide in embarrassment.
“Really? You’re getting shy now?“
His soft groan vibrated against your skin. “I wasn’t exactly thinking about the camera,” he mumbled, his voice muffled against your neck. “It left my mind the moment I… you know.”
You smiled, brushing your fingers through his hair. “Oh, I know. I could tell.”
You started to peel yourself off of him, only for his arms to tighten around your waist. You gave a playful tap on his shoulder.
“What are you doing?”
“Holding you.”
“Why?”
“My brain needs a moment to process this.”
Your hand danced aimlessly across his back. “Still embarrassed?”
“Mortified,” he confirmed.
A giggle slipped out of you, and you wiggled your hips. “We still need to clean up. I don’t think you want to stay like this forever.”
He let out a sound of protest but didn’t loosen his grip. “Just a few more minutes.”
Smiling at his stubbornness, you slid your fingers into his hair, letting your nails scrape lightly against his scalp. "Spencer," you said gently, making sure the mic didn't pick up your voice. “I need to turn off the cam.”
"They wouldn't mind watching us a little longer."
You sighed, feeling the undeniable stickiness between your thighs. It wasn’t the most comfortable feeling, and the warmth was quickly turning into a mess that would need attention sooner rather than later. But there was something so sweet about the way he wanted to hold you that it made it impossible to resist.
"Fine," you relented with a quiet laugh, "five more minutes."
#kinktober 2024#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid fic#criminal minds fanfic#spencer reid x fanfiction#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x female reader#spencer reid x fem!reader smut#spencer reid fanfiction
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pairing ☆ scaramouche x fem!reader
content warnings ☆ nsfw content ahead. unprotected sex. hate fuck. rough sex. slapping. spanking. degradation + praising. overstimulation. nipple sucking. creampie. hair pulling. marking. riding. mating press. prone bone. "whore, slut, baby"
note .ᐟ HEYYY so like... it's been a while, yes? 3 months since my last post, how is everyone? i made this yesterday randomly at 3am and didn't really feel like posting it on the new blog (that is still in progress) also I AM SO SORRY if this is in any way bad?? i'm so rusty... i haven't written in so long but gosh it felt nice to finish a work and i thought it would be a good idea to put it here just because i felt like it akbsuwhs the plot is kinda all over the place i have no idea—anyway, if i missed anything in the warnings, please let me know! i hope you guys will enjoy reading this ♡
word count ☆ 0.98k
the sight of you riding him was the last thing he expected to enjoy seeing. the way your face has pleasure written all over it, your breasts bouncing with each move your hips make, body trembling from the feeling, and most especially, the way you moaned so lewdly.
he loved it, yet hated you.
he hated your cocky and annoying attitude, always teasing and defying him no matter when or where you were. why do you always think you're better than him? you never will be. well... at least that's what he thinks.
putting you in your place was always the one thing he wanted to do. but as much as he wanted to do so out of anger, the hidden sexual tension between you was no joke. he couldn't avoid it.
he wants to slap you, punch you, hit you in some way. but at the same time he feels like pounding you, pushing your face down into the bed, shutting you up with his fingers in your mouth. no matter how much he thinks you're the absolute worst, he can't deny how attractive you are. and it just fuels his desires even more.
his eyes dart down to watch the way his cock disappears into your pussy, smirking to himself, "such a filthy slut. you take me so well, don't you?" hand reaching behind to grab a fistful of your hair, pulling it back, exposing your neck to him. he doesn't hesitate to lean it and mark you as his.
moving down, he sees your hardened nipples from arousal. his lips wrap around the sensitive area and gently suck on one, tongue flicking on it every now and then. he pulls away and finally lets go of your hair. hands going over to grip your hips now before he spoke up, "getting tired already? gosh, you're weaker than i thought."
you shake your head, about to respond but he doesn't let you. two fingers suddenly filling your mouth, "don't even think of speaking," he whispers and lays you down on your back, "i'm gonna fuck you hard, and you'll take it like a good girl, won't you?"
a red hue spreads across your face. speechless, you nod silently. he smirks and playfully spanks your ass, "atta girl." in one thrust, he fills you up completely. grabbing your legs and bringing them up to your chest. his cock is way deeper inside you in this position and he knows that very well.
capturing your lips in a rough kiss, he began to thrust in and out of you, slow in pace but definitely powerful. gradually getting faster, wilder, with each passing second. your hands come up around your legs to hold them in place, spreading yourself for him.
finally pulling away from the kiss, you try to catch your breath but moans flow out of your lips one after another. to add to it all, he brings his thumb down to rub your clit. it was visible from your body language that you were close to an orgasm. so close.
"you gonna cum around my cock like a good whore, baby?" he chuckles. his other hand comes up to your face, playfully slapping you, "i've always wanted to do that since you're so damn annoying." narrowing his eyes, he glares down at you.
"as if you aren't as well!?" you exclaim back, but it fails—he pinches your clit, drawing out a lewd cry from you. "be quiet and i'll let you cum. come on." you look up at him and make eye contact. he isn't moving anymore, his cock just buried deep inside you. the moment is rather intimate, or so you thought.
"fuck you, scara–"
"you're doing just that and you're still complaining?"
you glare up at him, giving up and letting your head fall back onto the soft pillows, "just fuck me already, fucking hell." you unexpectedly say. he smiles, "gladly."
before you could even register anything else, he was already pounding into you. rough, hard, and fast. giving your clit a sufficient amount of attention as well. all of it was completely overwhelming and all you could do was scream out his name as you came around him. gripping the sheets so tight that your knuckles turned white, your whole body shaking.
"fuck–so good... you feel so fucking good squeezing my cock like that, baby." he groans before finishing inside you. keeping himself in place for a while as he calmed himself down before pulling out gently. he silently watches as your body continues to tremble. scaramouche sighs and gently stimulates your clit, "aww, shh... there there..." the gesture causes you to get overstimulated rather than soothed.
"i'm still hard, just so you know." his voice low as a whisper. "let me just..." flipping you over, he puts you on your hands and knees, entering you from behind and making your body weakly fall flat on the bed. he sighs and just gets on top of you, pushing himself back deep into your wetness.
his bare chest to your back, your body quivering beneath him as he began to thrust into you again. starting at a slow pace that gradually got faster, fucking you properly. leaning down, he whispers right into your ear, "such a perfect cunt you've got, huh?"
you're already so close. the head of his cock brushing over your g-spot every now and then. his body trapping you under him, leaving you with no choice but to take what he gave. drool was already seeping from out of the corner of your mouth from how long you've had your lips apart, occupied in moaning his name over and over again.
as much as he despised you, he could never even think of denying how much he adored the fucked out state you were in. all because of him.
#♡.・ signed by yza ✰°。⋆#♡.・ dearest kuni ✰°。⋆#♡.・ late night thoughts ✰°。⋆#scaramouche smut#scaramouche x reader#scaramouche x you#scaramouche x y/n#genshin smut#genshin x reader#fem!reader
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ੈ✩ hereby announcing (smau) ੈ✩
pairing : f1 grid x fem reader ; lewis hamilton x fem reader
summary : you can take the girl out of the sport, but not the sport out of the girl
tw : emotional, fluff
a/n : thank you so much to @amberjazmyn for suggesting this ! lysm 🫶🏻 this ends on a cliff hanger ! and the time span is during the 2020- 2021 grid 🫶🏻 I was literally listening to judas by lady gaga while writing this 💀
·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:。・゚゚・・゚·:。・゚゚・ ✩ ・゚ ・゚·:��・゚゚
liked by charlesleclerc, lewishamilton and 1,839,378 others
ynshayk a last photo shoot with @ Ferrari and @ charlesleclerc before the season ends ! Thank you @ vogue for having us 🤩❤️
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user1 Y/N X CHARLES, THE LOOKS !?
user2 thank god she did not choose modelling
user3 WE DONT NEED THIS, WE NEED YOUR CONTRACT
user4 when are you signing the next wdc ?
user5 stop torturing us and GIVE US THE DEETS
user6 I hate that because of covid we can't even see her 😭
user7 I swear to god, this lady is a damn sadist
user8 MA’AM, YOUR NEXT YEAR CAR !?
user9 don’t tell me Ferrari Kip’s kicking her out
user10 ha, no-
user11 they love her
user12 I mean she does not have many wins -
user13 SHE HAS WAY MORE THEN CHARLES !?
user14 she got the seat after sebastian vettel, she deserved it
user15 2021 is Y/N’s year
liked by lewishamilton, scuderiaferrari and 3,479,489 others
ynshayk with the speculations going around with my contract, I hereby announce my retirement from Formula 1 at the end of this 2020 season. It’s been a journey I wouldn’t forget, and with a very heavy heart and neck, I say goodbye to the tifosi family and sport 🏎️❤️🏎️ a very big thank you to @ charlesleclerc for supporting me when I felt it was not worth it, I couldn’t have reached this far without you 💪🏻
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user1 wha-
user2 WHAT !?
user3 DENIAL NO WAY
user4 don't do this to me at 3:57 am
user5 THIS MUST BE A JOKE
user6 IS IT APRIL 1?
user7 it's literally December
user8 crying a nile river here
user9 why did we not expect it
user10 we wanted a wdc 😭😭
user11 we support you whatever you do !!
scuderiaferrari please pass the tissues
user12 here admin 🤧
landonorris can’t believe you leaving me all alone 😔
liked by ynshayk
user13 next season, no chary/n?
charlesleclerc I will miss you too, shaky ❤️
liked by ynshayk
user14 we all know Charles cried while typing that
user15 shaky ? 💀
user16 it's a thing between them, Charles calls her shaky because after every win of hers, she always managed to fall down while getting if the car
lewishmailton congratulations on ending an excellent career 💪🏻🍾👏
liked by ynshayk
user17 the grid saying goodbye to her 😭😭😭😭
maxverstappen1 will miss you hijacking red bull headquarters
liked by ynshayk
user18 not max exposing her -
liked by ynshayk, carlossainz and 789,379 others
scuderiaferrari 3 years, 14 wins, 27 podiums, runner up world champion, rookie of the year, and a career which defied sayings. Y/N Shayk had an eventful career and we are glad that she was, she is and she always will be part of the tifosi family! Wishing her all the very best for her future !
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user1 admin I need tissues
user2 NOT THE OFFICIAL POST 😭😭
user3 I still can’t process it 😭
user4 I really wish this all turns out to be a bad dream
user5 the sebastian vettel horror
user6 ferrari lost seb and y/n
user7 who is the driver joining though ?
user8 I think they will announce near the new year
user9 ITS CARLOS
user10 WHAT
user11 check y/n's new post
user12 Carlos is replacing her
user13 MY CARLANDO !?
user14 carlos to Ferrari is deadly 💀
user15 and here I thought formula 1 was calm
user16 she came, she won and retired
user17 Rosberg inspiration 💪🏻
user18 SHE CAME, SHE SAW, SHE CAME, SHE SAW
liked by charleclerc, lewishamilton, carlossaimz and 2,589,378 others
ynshayk handing over my seat to one of the most talented person out there @ carlossainz, take care of @ chareslelcerc for me and try not to miss me too much 😙💪🏻😌 so excited for the 2021 grid 🤩
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user1 NOT MY CARLANDO BREAKING TOO !?
user2 WHAT IS THIS 2021!?
user3 FIRST CHARY/N AND NOW CARLANDO!?
user4 I am excited for the C square era
user5 LESSGOOO 💪🏻
user6 I love how y/n is laughing after giving up on ferrari strategies
user7 middle pic be her laughing after escaping the ferrari attic
user8 I am glad everyone is getting their happy ending
user9 the fans are not 😭😭
user10 what will y/n do now ?
user11 probably spend her millions
user12 she is rich ?
user13 HAHAH- it's an understatement
charesleclerc I swear I am not crying, something got in my eyes
liked by ynshayk
user14 CHARLES 😭😭
user15 of course it will be emotional, they literally grew up together 😭
user16 can't believe the shaky and charles era is over
carlossainz will do ❤️
liked by ynshayk
liked by user1, user2, user3 and 278,367 others
f1wags 7 time world champion, Lewis Hamilton was seen in Paris with ex- Formula 1 driver, Y/N Shayk. A normal outing or love in the city of love ?
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user1 that's it, I am going to the Himalayas
user2 I am coming too
user3 CANT WE GET ONE DAY WITHOUT DRAMA !?
user4 LIKE CHILL BRO LET US CHILL
user5 she literally said can't win one, but surely can fuck one -
user6 mate 💀
user7 LEWIS AND Y/N !?
user8 WHAT IS THEIR AGE GAP !?
user9 SHE IS BORN IN 1998
user10 13 years 💀
user11 they both are adults, can y'all calm down ?
user12 I am still not used to the ex formula driver 😭😭
#formula one x reader#f1 x reader#f1 smau#f1 scenario#formula one scenarios#f1 imagine#formula one imagines#formula one imagine#f1 scenarios#f1 social media au#lewis hamilton smau#lewis hamilton social media au#lewis hamilton x reader#lewis hamilton scenarios#lewis hamilton imagine#f1#formula 1#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#Smau#formula 1 x reader#lando norris#ferrari#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc#carlos sainz#f1 fanfiction#f1 texts#f1 grid x reader#formula 1 fic
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Smartphone cameras are NOT getting worse. (See below for phone photography tips)
I've now seen 3 pro photographers reviewing the iPhone 16 and complaining the cameras are "worse" and blaming Apple for not including revolutionary new camera technology.
And I suppose this is partly Apple's fault. Their marketing and hype machine always goes overboard. But also, that's just how marketing works. Samsung has a "200 megapixel" sensor and Sony has a "Zeiss" lens. And I think it is unrealistic to expect smartphone companies to say "This product has entered the iterative phase and each new model will only be marginally improved over the last one."
Smartphones (from any brand) have become an appliance. You don't buy a new model of microwave every year. And you don't expect every new model of microwave to have new revolutionary technology. And that is pretty much the expectation you should have with most computer hardware from here on out.
And in some ways, that is a good thing. That means the design of the phone has pretty much been perfected and it will last you a long time if you take care of it. You will not be left behind and your phone will be able to handle any new software for most of its lifespan.
So, is Apple getting lazy or is there a reason their hardware is stagnating?
It seems that neither money nor marketing can change the laws of physics.
They cannot make transistors much smaller. Phones and computers are about as fast as current hardware designs can make them (unless there is a shocking scientific breakthrough). From here on out, heavy compute tasks that are beyond your phone or computer will be done in the cloud on giant computer clusters. Thankfully computers and phones seem to be plenty fast for the majority of tasks we ask of them.
I remember Katrina telling me her new computer didn't seem any faster. And I explained the computing tasks she does regularly were not really affected by the increased power and speed of her new computer. If something took 0.1 seconds before and now it takes 0.05 seconds, that is twice as fast. An increase in speed that looks fantastic in advertisements. But it is hard for our brains to perceive. She just didn't do anything on her computer that took it long enough for her to notice. But having a faster and more powerful computer/phone will increase its lifespan and resale value, so it is still prudent to get the best things you can afford at time of purchase.
And I'm afraid smartphone cameras are hitting their own hardware limitations. They can't make the sensors much larger to get better depth of field and low light performance. And cramming in more megapixels doesn't actually add much more detail, if any.
It's physics.
Again.
You cannot get any more performance out of a small plastic lens. Why do you think pro photographers haul around 10 pound lenses still?
There is a formula for detail that never seems to be explained in any camera marketing.
Here is the simplified version...
Detail = Sensor x Lens
Let's say 1 is perfection. You have a sensor that performs at 0.5 and a lens that performs at 0.2.
The total detail will be 0.1.
But in the new model you increase the performance of the sensor to 0.8. WOW! That's so close to 1!
The total detail will be... 0.16.
Now let's imagine we've discovered a magic, physics-defying tiny plastic lens that performs at 0.8 as well.
The total detail jumps to 0.64!
But we all get sucked into a wormhole because we violated the laws of the universe.
Even if you were to design a near perfect (perfect is impossible) sensor that scores 0.99.
Without that magic plastic lens... 0.198
This is why I put Samsung's "200 megapixel" sensors in quotes. Because when paired with the same tiny plastic lens, there isn't much improvement. And that's why a 12 megapixel DSLR from 10 years ago with a giant honking lens can still capture more detail.
Most of the quality from smartphone cameras comes from the computational software processing. Phones actually take many photos at once and combine them to get you a decent image.
While that is still improving a little bit each generation, those improvements are stagnating as well. Until image processing can do a better job of inventing more detail realistically, smartphones are going to have to obey the laws of physics.
So... why are photographers saying the iPhone cameras are worse?
First, the ultra wide angle lens looks softer in low light.
And if you zoom between 1x and 5x, the images look less detailed.
But neither of those things make the cameras *worse*. In fact, the cameras are better for the most part. It's just that Apple decided to compromise on one aspect to improve another. Probably due to market research telling them most people prioritize certain things over others when taking photos.
They increased the resolution of the ultra wide angle sensor to match the detail of the main sensor, but that seems to have lowered the low light performance of the ultra wide. So in good light, you will see an improvement in sharpness. But they could not increase the sensor size to compensate and smaller pixels can have trouble with dim conditions. They probably discovered that people mostly use that lens in good light and they would appreciate the bump in detail more.
But pro photographers often photograph in more challenging lighting conditions because you can capture a more artistic shot. I don't think I could have gotten this shot on a smartphone.
But photo normies are just taking pics of their kids doing weird kid shit.
They aren't really trying to push the limits of their ultra wide angle lenses.
And they increased the zoom of the telephoto lens to 5x from 3x because most people never used the 3x. So images at 5x look great now, but unfortunately if you use anything between 1x and 5x, your image will be *digitally* zoomed. Which is never as good as optical zoom. They basically crop the photo, zoom in, and add sharpening.
So they prioritized people having longer reach and more zoom at the expense of that middle zoom range. Every camera system makes tradeoffs and compromises.
And I hate that I always feel like I am defending Apple, because they do have misleading and dishonest marketing regarding a lot of aspects of their tech. But hating on Apple gets more clicks so content creators also make misleading and dishonest claims.
And so we are just surrounded in a circle of hyperbole from all sides.
Now, if you know these limitations, you can change your approach to photographing stuff to keep them from being an issue. You can reap the benefits without dealing with the new compromises.
Here are some tips to help owners of the new iPhone, but also everyone else too.
Smartphone Photography Tips
Whenever possible, try to use the main 1x camera at only 1x zoom. This has the largest sensor with the most detail and works best in the lowest light. Only use the ultra wide or telephoto if you cannot get the photo otherwise. If you aren't sure you have enough light for ultra wide, take the photo, and then as a safety, take two photos with the main camera side by side and stitch them later with a pano app.
"Zoom with your feet" and don't use "in-between" zooms. Let's say your lenses do 0.5x, 1x, and 5x zoom. Even though you have the option to use other zooms, like 2x or 3x, that is going to compromise your picture quality. It is essentially going to crop your photo and enlarge it, which causes a loss of detail. If fact, if you use 4.5x instead of 5x, your picture will probably look like trash. You are always going to get better results if you can move closer or step back so that you are using the native focal length of your chosen lens. For example, let's say you are taking a photo and you judge the best framing to be at 4x. But you still have 10 feet of space behind you. If you back up and then zoom in to 5x, the phone will switch to that lens and you will get a much clearer picture.
Rule of thumb...
1 to 3x... try to move closer.
4 to 5x... try to move back.
If you hit a wall and end up at 4.5x, you might see if you have a panorama mode and try that instead. Switch to your 5x and do the pano. Or you can take two photos and then stitch them together with software later on. (Stitching panos with an app later will give better quality than pano mode, especially in low light.)
Low light needs stability. Get some sort of stabilizing device for low light photos. Either a phone case that lets you stand up the phone on its own or a mini tripod.
This thing folds to the size of a credit card.
Your phone will detect when it is stable and not being handheld. It will then automatically extend its shutter speed allowing it to drink in more light and give you a better picture.
Tripods are photography magic and will improve your low light photos quite a bit. Motion blur of moving subjects can still be an issue, but photos of a cityscape or landscape will look great.
For selfies, shoot a little bit wide and then crop in. This goes a little contrary to my earlier advice saying cropping lowers detail, but this is specifically for shooting a face. The 0.5x and 1x lenses on smartphone cameras are fairly wide angle. This can cause unflattering proportions with human faces. Wide angle lenses exaggerate distance. Near things look very near and far things look very far. To a wide angle lens, the tip of your nose looks like it is super close but your ears seem like they are a mile away. And that's why you may look a bit "alien" in your selfies.
People's natural instinct is to "fill the frame" with a face. The outer edges of a wide angle lens are more distorted than the very center. So try to keep faces away from the edges of the frame.
And one other trick you can do for selfies and pictures of faces is step back a few feet. Sometimes this is hard, especially with selfies, as your arm is only so long... but if you can take your face photos from just a little bit farther back, you will almost entirely eliminate unflattering distortion. In some cases, just stretching out your arm as far as it will go is enough.
Then you just crop the image with the framing you originally wanted, and your facial proportions will look great.
An example...
Here the distortion is bad because I am not in the center and the lens is too close to my face. The lens thinks my nose is really close and my ears are in Canada.
But when the lens is farther back the edge distortion is less prevalent and my nose and ears (relative to the lens) seem roughly the same distance away. So my proportions look great, but I don't quite have the framing I want.
But with a little cropping...
For social media there is still plenty of resolution to crop in. Cropping isn't bad, it's just always better to use it as a last resort or in a special circumstance like this. I get roughly the same framing as in my wide angle shot, but I don't look like I'm behind a door's peephole trying to sell you the Good News.
I wish they made a "mini" selfie stick that only extended a foot or so. With the main camera that is usually all people need to undo any wide angle issues. I have one of those mini tripods and that works well, but there is no activation button so I have to do a timer. Mirrors work great to help you get some selfie distance.
In any case, all cameras have limitations and compromises. Clickbait titles saying something is WORSE THAN THE OLD ONE are frustrating and wrong.
And people upgrading phones every year are silly. All current name brand smartphones have promised at least 5 years of software updates. I think Google and Samsung are offering 7 years on some models. And Apple has always just let you use your phone until it literally will not work with new software. Which has worked out to 8 years in some cases (with a battery swap).
Phones are now appliances. For now, hardware will improve 10 to 15% from generation to generation until physics breaks. So if you want a 50% improvement, wait 5 years and you'll think your new phone is awesome. If you upgrade every year, it is going to be difficult to see the change.
I hope to be starting a little course on smartphone photography in the near future. All modern phones are capable of taking amazing pictures. And as long as you understand their limitations you can mitigate or avoid them. And that is what I plan to teach.
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i know it won't work...(rc)
series summary: you're best friends with topper, kelce, and rafe. it has never bothered you to see them with other girls, knowing that they usually only have flings, but, when rafe gets what appears to be a girlfriend, how does this change things?
(not rly canon)rafe x kook!reader, original characters
warnings: none idk, first time writing beware
a/n: the slowest of all slow burns rn. feedback appreciated!! but pls be constructive abt it I can't handle hate
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chapter 1: just friends!
It was approaching the end of May, something you were thankful for. Without any more classes to think about, you could focus on the important things in life; the beach, getting drunk, and hanging out with your friends.
Your friend group was one constant in your life that you felt would be impossible to live without. No matter the situation, you knew you could count on them.
Your boy friends, Topper, Kelce, and Rafe, you had basically grown up with. Topper's father is a business partner of your father, and both of your mothers got along so well that, when they became pregnant at almost the same time, they were ecstatic.
Topper made his own friends, and so did you. So what could be the harm in merging your groups?
Your girls, Stella and Macey, have been your closest friends since you all met in the same class at the beginning of freshman year. The three of you were inseparable, defying the odds of "trios never work".
The group of the six of you got on like a wildfire, which was why you were so excited to spend the whole summer with them.
You had entered your final class of the day, a class that you had with Rafe and Kelce. Assigned seating was your worst nightmare, you being seated in the back and them together in the front. None of your girls were there, and your boys were too far out of reach. So, you decided to focus on what you could, which was probably why you were doing comparatively better in this class than all of your others.
The class droned on for a while, Kelce and Rafe both messing around in the front while occasionally stealing glances at you. Rafe lets his look linger for a split second too long. You had barely noticed, but you heard whispers of the girls in front of you.
"I really don't understand how they're friends" one of them whispered.
"He's definitely looking at you, Amber, not her." her friend replies.
From there, you tuned it out. You were used to the jealousy that came with being close with them, so you try to not let it bother you anymore. But, maybe he wasn't looking at you. Maybe he and Kelce were messing around to get the attention of the girls in front of you. You tune back into the lecture, only letting your gaze drift to Rafe and Kelce a few more times.
As your final class of the day ended, you checked your texts from the "big 3" groupchat with just you, Stella, and Macey.
...
stella may💫
im bored
mace🦋
girl pay attention. how do you expect to learn
anything if ur always on that damn phone
stella may💫
stfu. what r we doing later? need to fantasize ab
something to get me thru the day
mace🦋
idk. thought top was throwing? ask yn,
he usually tells her first🙄
stella may💫
don't sound so jelly just bc u want topper bad.
yn what's the plan?
...
You looked down at your phone, smiling briefly at your friends' text messages. Truthfully, you didn't know if Topper was throwing, but you hoped he was. Parties are always better when your friends were the first there and last to leave. You reply to the girls, a quick "idk, come to mine after school?", before turning off your phone and packing your things as the class was dismissed.
At the front of the class, you see Rafe and Kelce waiting for you. Rafe is staring at his phone, while Kelce taps his foot, faking impatience with you.
"What took you so long?" Kelce asks, eyeing you quizzically. The three of you begin to walk outside, slowly making your way to the parking lot to meet your friends.
"Just the girls blowing up my phone," you laughed. "They're asking if Top is throwing tonight. They always expect me to have the answer," you say with a sarcastic roll of your eyes. Kelce laughs. There is a silence that follows. Kelce accepts your answer, and Rafe is still glued to his phone.
"What are you staring at dude?" Kelce questions, shoving Rafe lightly.
Rafe replies, "Oh- just a message from my dad. No big deal," eyes shifting so slightly that you almost missed it. He avoids your gaze and changes the subject easily. "So, Topper's throwing then?"
You knew Rafe better than to let that slide, and decided you would talk to him about it another day, perhaps after he had cooled off a little. Though you and Topper were originally the best of friends, you and Rafe have become closer over the few years that you have known each other.
Rafe always found it easy to talk to you. You were like a vault, so anybody's secret would be safe with you. You believed that people's stories were their own to tell, and, if someone told you something, you would never even think about sharing it for them. Because of this, and because of your willingness to trust Rafe, he began to slowly open up to you.
The first instance of Rafe's openness was years ago after a party at Tannyhill, before the two of you had really even become friends. You were more like acquaintances who knew each other through Topper. Most everyone had gone home, a few stragglers stumbling out and your friends already upstairs, but you had started straightening things out downstairs in the kitchen. This party was particularly rowdy, and it always pained you a little bit to let other people clean up a mess that they didn't make. Rafe walks into the kitchen and stops when he sees you.
"What are you doing?" He asks, and you turn, still squatted down trying to sweep up shards of broken glass.
"Just trying to clean up a little, it makes me a little anxious just going to bed and leaving all of this," you reply honestly, standing up and tossing the broken glass into a bucket that you had found outside. You looked into his eyes. The blue of them was much darker in this lighting.
"Oh," he says, shocked, "you don't have to do that. I can take care of it." He breaks eye contact with you, but you speak again.
"It's really not a big deal, just trying to make it a little easier in the morning." There's a silence that follows. You clear your throat. "I just know that I like when other people do this for me, so I figured I would return the favor... as best as I can, I guess. These people really did a number on your house." You laugh lightly.
He scoffs, amused. "You could say that. This is gonna be the last party I throw here for a while." Rafe says, leaning against the countertop behind him. He notices the look that you give him, which propels him to explain himself further. "Ward hates when I party, and after the last one he gave me this huge lecture. I dont know, I think he thinks it's gonna send me down the wrong path." You're silent, just barely nodding along as he speaks. He continues, "I guess he's kinda right, I mean I'm not perfect, but it's annoying that he sees me as this unhinged freak when Sarah does the same things and he sees her as an angel." He finishes. You nod, sympathetically while Rafe begins to wonder why he even told you that to begin with.
He's not the most open person, after his mom died and his father remarried, he's found it hard to open up to anyone. His mother was his rock when he was younger, and he resents his father for just giving up on her like and finding someone new. But, something in your warm demeanor reaches out to him, and he feels like he would tell you anything if you asked.
"I get it," you say, before Rafe can walk away and pretend this conversation didn't happen, "My parents have always been like that with my sister too. Sometimes I feel like I don't really even exist to them, but I know that they just want what's best for us. She just needs more attention, I guess," you reply, shrugging a little. Rafe gives you a small smile, acknowledging what you said. You knew that Rafe had really opened up to you, and you felt like you owed him a little piece of yourself in that way too.
The silence that follows is comfortable, and you both begin straightening things around the house. Rafe is sweeping everything into a pile in the kitchen as you enter from the living room carrying a bag of garbage. It's only been around 15 minutes, but you speak again.
You had been thinking about what he said as you picked things up. "I hope you know that you're not actually an unhinged freak, Rafe," you begin, setting the bag down and turning to face him, hoping to add a bit of humor to make the next thing you are about to say a little less serious than it is. Rafe chuckles, but stops what he's doing to look at you, clearly interested in what you were gonna say next. You continue timidly, "at least, I know that's not how I see you"
"How do you see me, then?" He replies with a smirk, looking you up and down. You knew he was trying to give you a chance out of what you had started, but you don't relent.
"Thats not what I meant," you say with a roll of your eyes, you lean on the counter facing the table, "I just meant that I don't think you give yourself enough credit." You wait a beat, seeing how Rafe is reacting to what you're saying. You wouldn't want to continue if he seemed any sort of uncomfortable, but Rafe seemed to be hanging onto your every word, now seated on the kitchen table. You continue, "I mean, putting a drunk Topper to bed is a skill that few people have been proven to possess," at this, he lets out a laugh, leaning back onto his hands while waiting to see what else you have to say. "And it's almost impossible to remember Stella's or Macey's coffee order, but you do it flawlessly any time they ask."
He playfully rolls his eyes. "It's not that hard..." he responds before you continue.
"And I've seen the way you treat your youngest sister, even if she can annoy you sometimes." You pause, but he doesn't respond, looking down at his feet. "And I know you put on that tough guy act, but your actions toward some people about show that you care a lot more than you let on. So basically... I have a lot of respect for you." you finish, unsure what really possessed you to say all of that.
Rafe is silent, the only sound in the room is some light snoring that you know is coming from Topper down the hall. Was he really that transparent? You think that you may have said too much, but Rafe takes a deep breath before saying, "Do you really think all of that?" You nod, he lets out a surprised huff, and you accept that as your queue to turn in for the night. Maybe you both were too drunk to act sane, which could explain the nature of the conversation, but you meant everything you had said.
"Well, I think I'm gonna go to bed, but thanks for staying up and cleaning with me. Goodnight, Rafe" you say with a yawn.
"Goodnight, YN" he responds, and you swear you see the faintest blush on his cheeks. He was still reeling from all of the nice things you had said to him.
After borderline forcing Topper to host a party tonight, you and your girls split ways with the boys. You all piled into your car, blasting music on your way back to your house. You walk in, saying a quick "hi" to your parents and siblings before heading straight up the stairs into your room. You sit on your bed, while Stella and Macey find spots in an armchair and at your vanity. The three of you sit in silence for a while before beginning to debrief the parts of the day that you had spent without each other. The debrief was nothing to really write home about, until you spoke up after a few seconds of silence.
"You know that Amber girl who sits in front of me in 4th period?" you ask, trying to be nonchalant about your question, though it was weighing on your mind all day.
"I think so," replies Macey, looking at herself in your vanity mirror. Stella just nods along.
"Well, Kelce and Rafe were messing around during class and would look in my direction every once in a while for some attention, and the one time she was like 'ugh I don't even know how they're friends' or something like that," you explain, and you see the girls' faces change, Macey's jaw hanging open. "Usually shit like that doesn't bother me but there was something about it that I lowkey can't stop thinking about..."
A look of recognition crosses Stella's face. "Wait... isn't that the girl who is literally obsessed with Rafe?" she questions, "I swear I remember him talking about her to Top and Kelce the one day."
"That would make sense," Macey adds, while you just look confused.
"I mean yeah I guess," you reason, "but I don't know... it just rubbed me the wrong way I think." You try to articulate your thoughts the right way, but it makes you seem more possessive of your boy friends than you intended.
Of course, they can have other friends that are girls. You would just prefer that you and your girls are their first priority. You continue as you remember another detail. "oh my gosh and then her friend was like 'he's definitely just looking at you Amber' which made me unsure if they were actually looking at her or me. UGH I don't even know what to think. Not that they can't look at her obviously. I just thought they were looking at me, and, I don't know, I feel stupid even saying this."
"I don't know, I wouldn't worry about it too much. You know you're their number one girl anyway," Macey says, while Stella rolls her eyes at her friends bluntness. You blush lightly, not considering it like that. You and Stella exchange a glance before you speak again.
"You know they love you guys just as much as me." You explain, not trying to start a confrontation before what is supposed to be a great night. The two girls just shrug.
"Yeah we know, but I think she's just saying that you don't need to worry about them replacing you with that Amber girl. You're their best friend!" Stella says, trying to reason with you. You understand what they're saying, and you nod along.
You decide to change the subject. "Ok well do you guys want to get food before we leave?"
"Hell yes. Pizza has been calling my name all week." Macey says.
"Yeah I'm down!" Stella exclaims.
You call and order pizza, glad that you were able to change the subject. Just after that, Topper calls you asking for drink requests. You tell him to get you "the usual" and that you'll Venmo him later. He tells you that he will text the group chat of the six of you when they're back and you can come over.
The three of you eat the pizza in what feels like record time, still having probably around an hour before needing to walk over to Toppers house. It was lucky that you lived so close to him- he was always nearby if you needed him, or if you needed to walk back to your house after getting shitfaced.
After Topper's call, the three of you begin getting ready. You put on a black tank top and loose jean shorts, accessorizing with your favorite jewelry.
"Shots?" You ask, raising your eyebrows. The other girls immediately agree, and you pull out a bottle and three shot glasses. You take the shots, wincing. You look between your friends, wondering how you got so lucky, when you get a text from Topper telling you to head over.
(to be continued hopefully. lmk if you like!)
#rafe cameron#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe cameron obx#outerbanks rafe#obx#obx fic#obx fanfiction#outer banks fanfiction#outerbanks
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can you write about reader riding paige's face 🙈 only if you're comfortable with it 💞
all of you… as always, enjoy loves <3
uconn just celebrated their win against usc, leading them into the final four. the whole world was left in shock as uconn defied all the odds. you had met paige years ago, when she first came to uconn. you guys had met from mutual friends, but slowly grew closer, becoming fuck buddies. you had a no strings attached rule, but something about the way your heart stopped whenever paige called, said differently. you honestly didnt expect anything from her. you were at her beck and call, ready for whenever she needed you. it was coincidental that you both crossed paths that night..
somehow, you guys both ended up at teds, a few drinks in and ready to have fun. once she locked eyes with you she swiftly made her way over to you, smirking. she soon told her teammates she had to take you home, because you had “too much to drink” bullshit. as soon as you got in the uber she pounced on you, pulling you into a deep kiss. she lightly bit your lip, causing you to moan. she slipped her tongue into your mouth, exploring you while her hands traveled up your dress.
as soon as she led you into her hotel room, your arms were above your head, and your body pinned against the wall. paige moved to take off your shirt, breaking the kiss for a moment. “off.” she commanded, “arms up.” she pulled the shirt off, throwing it to the floor. her knee slipped in between your legs, as she applied pressure, leaning into you. you elicited a deep moan, making paige grin against you as she moved to kiss and leave love bites on your neck. “like that?” she asked teasingly, creating friction once again with her knee. you whined “please, paige now..”
“jump.” she grabbed you by the waist and you jumped into her arms as she carried you closer to the bed. “these, come off now.” she said, moving her fingers to unbutton your jean skirt. soon you were left in just your underwear and bra, as paige looked at you hungrily. “oh.. and these can come off too,” she said pulling your underwear down to your ankles in one swift move, making you flinch at the sudden movement. she grinned down at you “lucky me..” she moved to lie down on the bed, pulling you down with her. “i have you all to myself” you swung a leg across her abdomen, to straddle her. “what do you want me to do paige?” she smirks, playing with a strand of your hair, her other hand sitting comfortably on your hip. “i want to taste you baby, do you think you can help me?” you nod eagerly, your core aching for attention from the blonde. “whatever you want paige..” you breath. “good girl, thats what i thought. now, sit up and grab the headboard for me, okay darling?” you nod sitting up on your knees and grabbing the headboard as you feel paiges hands navigating your hips. she moves you so that your hovering over her face. you can feel her ragged breathing against your sensitive skin, giving you goosebumps. you let out a shakey exhale. “now,” paige starts, “sit down baby, i got you..” her hands push down on your hips, as her mouth attaches to your clit. you immediately roll your eyes at the sudden sensation. “p-paige oh my! yes!” she grins against you, her tongue working under you. her tongue darts in and out of your slick folds, lapping you up. your moans grow louder and more frequent as she continues to eat you out. “paige! i cant take it.. im going to cum” you manage to say, now riding her face gripping the headboard for support. her hands are back on your hips, guiding them to move against her mouth, as you ride her. “cum for me baby” she managed to let out, her voice husky and strained.
as you ride out your high you lean your forehead onto the headboard, taking dee breathes still coming down from the high. you slowly sit back down to straddle paiges abs, looking her in the eyes. her eyes arent her usual ocean blue, but now a dark and icy blue color. her mouth and chin are dripping with your juices as she brings her wrist to her face, to wipe it clean. “you did so good for me baby,” she says putting a kiss on your forehead gently. your still trying to form words, breathless from your release. “i, i think i need to lie down..” you say letting out a deep breath. paiges hands move to your waist, placing you to lie down on the bed next to her. you put your head on her chest slowly drifting off to sleep exhausted, but over the moon.
#paige bueckers#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#uconn women’s basketball#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers x reader#paige smut#paige bueckers smut#paige x reader#wlw#uconn x reader#wbb fanfiction#wbb x reader
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Psychic paper
tenth doctor x GN!reader
Summary: In which the psychic paper betrays the Doctor
A/N: The Doctor is fruity, deal with it xx
You’d been traveling with the Doctor for a while now and you loved every minute of it. In that time he had shown you all kinds of things you had priorly deemed impossible; aliens with wiggly tentacles, a spaceship that defies the laws of 3 dimensional space, a buzzing device he calls the Sonic Screwdriver, and homicidal salt shakers with toilet plungers for arms to name just a few.
It seemed that with every adventure he showed you something new and fascinating, constantly topping himself without even trying. There was so much in all of time and space it wasn’t that hard. Anything outside of the 21st century was new to you.
This time, the Doctor had taken you to see a mechanics factory in the 35th century, but as always the adventure didn’t end there. Aside from new experiences, the Doctor could almost always promise some kind of trouble. He claimed he didn’t go searching for it but rather that it tended to follow him. Either way, most adventures with the Doctor involved some kind of mischief and usually a lot of running.
“It’s no good, you can only get in with an ID,” you groaned, popping your head back around the corner. “There’s a security guard checking everyone going in and out is an employee.”
You were hiding in a hallway, hoping to get inside the establishment's headquarters. The Doctor had a hunch that malicious alien forces were behind the operation, but he couldn’t be sure without poking around further. Typical Doctor, he just couldn’t leave well enough alone.
“I can’t think of any legal ways to get in there,” you shrugged, turning to the Doctor for ideas.
“I have identification,” the Doctor smirked, rummaging around in the seemingly endless pockets of his coat.
“You’re not an employee,” you pointed out.
The Doctor made a triumphant sound as he pulled what appeared to be a small black notebook out of the depths of his pocket. He flipped it open and you realized it wasn’t a notepad. The item was more like a police badge, minus the actual badge part.
He turned the paper towards you with a smile, clearly expecting you to be impressed
“Aren’t I?” He grinned brightly, looking at you eagerly. “Psychic paper,” he explained, tapping the stark white paper with his finger.
You grabbed the item from him, squinting at it. You wanted to make sure you were reading it right, maybe your eyes were acting up.
“This just says ‘I love you’?” You asked, handing the Doctor his weird paper back with a frown.
“I think that flirting with the security guard is more of a Jack move,” you winced, not wanting to hurt his feelings. The Doctor was quite the charmer, but strategic flirting wasn’t his strong suit.
The Doctor grabbed his psychic paper from you, frowning at it aggressively. It wasn’t supposed to say that.
“What-?” he asked, glaring at it the same way you did. Once the words registered with him he turned a dark shade of red. He should have been more careful when he handed it over to you.
“It’s not supposed to say that,” he mumbled his thoughts, trying to hide his fluster.
“How does it work? Is it like a reusable notepad?” You asked, genuinely interested. Even if the Doctor’s tools could be finicky, they were interesting. Maybe he had just forgotten to erase the message from the last time he used it.
“No, it’s supposed to show the reader what I want them to see,” he blushed, shaking the paper out like a Polaroid. Usually shaking the item would clear it, but those three words refused to fade from the paper.
“Sometimes it’s a bit slow…” he said, really more to himself than to you. He was still shaking the paper, desperately trying to get the words to disappear.
“So you were going to try and flirt with the security guard?” You frowned, now you were even more confused. The Doctor would much rather blow the whole place up than try and flirt his way through security.
“No!” He said, almost a bit too quickly. He blushed again and averted his gaze, an anxious hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. He hadn’t planned on telling you like this. He hadn’t planned on telling you at all.
“When I handed it over it was supposed to show you an employee ID,” he winced. You nodded, this much you knew. What you didn’t understand was the confession of love.
“But I think the psychic paper picked up on my feelings instead,” he whispered. If you hadn’t been listening intently you might have missed the last few words.
“Are you saying that you love me?” You frowned, looking at the floor with concentration, “or the security guard?” The second option seemed more viable at the moment.
For the first time in a century, the Doctor was speechless. He stared at you, wide-eyed and unblinking as you waited for his answer. If it was possible, his jaw might have fallen to the floor.
“He’s pretty handsome, I can’t blame you,” you added, peeking over the wall to look at the security guard again.
The Doctor shook himself out of it, rambling a string of incoherent words. “I- uh, wha-?” He stumbled, trying to form a sentence.
“I handed the paper to you.” He said definitively.
“It’s a really dramatic way to come out, Doctor.” You continued on, ignoring him. It’s not like you didn’t know already, he wasn’t exactly subtle about it.
“It didn’t say ‘I love men’!” He threw his hands up in distress. “It said ‘I love you’!”
You finally stopped rambling on about the security guard and turned your attention to the Doctor. His words caught up to you and tentatively you pointed at yourself as if there was any other you. The Doctor nodded exasperatedly as if to say “Yes, you!”
“You love me?” you asked, still pointing at yourself.
“I think I’ve said it about four times now.”
“You?” You pointed at the Doctor, “Love me?”
“Blimey! Yes!” He shouted, frustrated now. You widened your eyes and anxiously checked around you, scared he might have given away your location. Thankfully, everyone appeared to be out of earshot.
“Yes, I love you,” he whispered this time, his eyes boring into yours. You blinked slowly, your brain still refusing to process his confession.
You smiled brightly, your grin taking over your entire face. The Doctor loved it when you lit up like this, your happiness radiating off of you. He felt a small smile of his own tugging at his lips just looking at you.
“I hope that’s alright,” he whispered quietly. He would never forgive himself if he lost you over a psychic paper mishap. The embarrassment would be too much - he’d have to run away. Maybe to that planet inhabited by only rubber ducks?
“That’s more than alright,” you grinned, a hand instinctively reaching up to his arm to comfort him. The fabric of his coat was cold against your palm, but you didn’t pull away.
The Doctor really smiled back at you now, the wild lopsided grin that was reserved just for you. The kind of smile that always made you laugh with joy.
He wasted no time wrapping his arms around your waist and lifting your body off the ground in excitement. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, breathing in your familiar scent. You laughed happily, waving your feet about slightly.
The Doctor pulled back just enough to kiss you, his lips soft and gentle against yours. Neither of you could stop smiling, even as your lips met. You laughed against him, planting kisses across his face sloppily. Your lips brushed the tip of his nose, the arch of his cheekbone, the corner of his mouth, and his jawline.
“The security guard is pretty cute though,” the Doctor teased with a sly smile.
“I knew it!” You burst out laughing, throwing your head back as you did.
#10th doctor x reader#10th doctor/reader#tenth doctor x reader#tenth doctor/reader#doctor who#tenth doctor#10th doctor#david tennant#fanfic#fanfiction#doctor who fanfiction#the doctor x reader#the doctor/reader#the doctor#psychic paper#doctor who bbc
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Hearbreak Anniversary with Rafayel
Summary: It was your anniversary with Rafayel. One year of togetherness. But what if he does not show up when you expect him to? What if he was spending it with MC? Pairing: Non MC! Reader x Rafayel Note: MC in this fic goes by the name Lina (my name... so if you are angry, you can be angry at me :3). This oneshot was based on this request. I will write this for the other LADS men too. Content Warning: Fear of abandonment, self worth issues, angst, hurt and slight comfort, Rafayel grovelling, Rafayel POV
The soft glow of the sunset filtered through the gauzy curtains of Rafayel’s studio, painting the space in warm hues of gold and orange. The place smelled faintly of him—a mix of turpentine, salt, and the faint trace of his cologne. You had spent hours here today, your hands busy arranging the decorations you’d so carefully prepared for this special occasion. Sea shells, shimmering like iridescent pearls, lined the edges of the room, their opalescent beauty a nod to the ocean he once called home. Candles flickered softly on every surface, their flames dancing to an unseen rhythm. You’d even managed to find strands of silken seaweed and glass ornaments, hoping to evoke the beauty of his heritage, the beauty of him.
Every corner of his art studio had been dusted, tidied, and then transformed with touches of magic, warmth, and care. You even placed the tiny trinkets and mementos you had kept from your shared moments—little souvenirs from your adventures together, knickknacks that held meaning between the two of you. You wanted him to feel at home, to feel the same sense of belonging that you had with him. You even wore your best clothes, the ones he had once complimented.
Today was your first anniversary. The thought alone sent your heart fluttering, and you’d poured all that love into this space, into this moment.
A few months ago he had told you this was just another day for him. A god’s sense of time was different, fleeting, perhaps even insignificant. But to you, it meant everything. It was a celebration of love that had somehow defied the odds—of a mortal heart tangled with one belonging to something far greater. So you ignored the whispering doubts that crept into the back of your mind, choosing instead to focus on trust. Rafayel had chosen you, not her. No matter how many stories tied them together, no matter the whispered inevitability of their connection, he had assured you. It was you he loved now.
But as the hours passed, that fragile trust began to tremble.
You sat in the chair by the window, smoothing down the dress you’d picked especially for today. Time crawled. The soft golden light of day gave way to a dark, yawning sky, and still, Rafayel didn’t come home. The anniversary dinner, meticulously prepared and carefully plated, sat untouched on the table. Each tick of the clock became a cruel reminder of his absence.
Worry gnawed at you. What if something had happened to him? Perhaps the art sale ran late, or he was caught up with his patrons. But he always came back home, right?
Your heart twisted as you reached for your phone, dialing a number you didn’t want to use but needed to.
“Thomas?” you asked hesitantly, your voice trembling.
“Oh, hey,” Rafayel’s manager greeted casually. “Everything okay?”
“Is Rafayel still at the sale?” You tried to keep the panic from seeping into your tone, but the silence on the other end was damning.
“Uh… no, he left hours ago. Said he was going to grab dinner. Lina was with him.”
Your grip tightened on the phone, your knuckles turning white.
Lina.
The name struck like a knife.
“Thanks, Thomas,” you whispered, hanging up before he could ask anything more.
You sat there, staring at the flickering candles, their light casting long shadows across the studio walls. He was with Lina. On your anniversary. You had trusted him, convinced yourself that you were enough despite the insecurities that had clawed at your heart since the day you met him.
But now, they came roaring to life.
You had known, of course, who Lina was. She was the one linked to the sea god, his past, his history—his heart. You tried not to let it affect you, tried to bury the insecurities that rose whenever she came up in conversation. Rafayel always assured you there was nothing between them. But then why was he with her, of all people, on your anniversary?
Tears blurred your vision as your chest tightened painfully. Lina.
She was everything you were not. Strong, beautiful, a part of Rafayel’s past, his first love. How could you compete with that? How could you compete with someone who had shared so much more with him, someone whose bond with him was carved in the very fabric of his existence? She was a part of him, woven into the his story, while you were… just someone who had stumbled into his life, someone insignificant in comparison.
Lina... The woman who was forever tied to his past. The sea god's bride. The one he’d loved for so long, the one who had always been there, time after time. You had told yourself, time and time again, that it was nothing. That Rafayel was different with you. He had assured you that there was nothing between them anymore.
But if it’s nothing, why is he with her now? On our day.
Your fingers trembled as you held the phone to your ear, but you couldn’t even bring yourself to ask any more questions. The answers were irrelevant now. His absence, her presence, they were all you needed to know.
Tears pooled at the edges of your vision before spilling over, streaking your face like tiny rivers tracing paths through dusted cheeks. It wasn’t fair. Nothing felt fair. He had promised you. He had promised. But promises were like ocean tides, weren’t they? Sweeping away whatever they could, leaving only bits of broken shells behind.
Lina was everything you could never be. She was strong, beautiful, powerful—everything that Rafayel deserved. She had the sea god’s heart, had always had it, and here you were, just a fleeting ripple on the surface, barely a mark to him. She was woven into the fabric of his past, his future. What are you to him? What have you ever been?
The memories of your relationship, the quiet moments of closeness, the laughter shared under the soft, flickering light of his candles, all those moments seemed so... fragile now. Fragile and fleeting. You were nobody. Just a distraction, a place holder. Nothing more.
You stood up abruptly, the chair scraping against the floor like the scratch of claws on stone. The studio, his studio, filled with remnants of him, was suffocating. His scent lingered in the air, the faint trace of his cologne mixing with the oils and paints scattered everywhere. His taste still clung to your lips from the last time you’d kissed him, the memories of his touch branded into your skin. It was all too much. Too much. The studio, so full of him, was now a suffocating reminder of what you had lost. You didn’t want to stay. You couldn’t.
You tried to hold the tears back, but it was useless. Every doubt, every fear you’d bottled up over the months came crashing down, drowning you in their suffocating weight.
This wasn’t love. This was a cruel game, one you couldn’t win.
You couldn’t breathe. You had to get out.
Your legs moved before your mind could catch up, carrying you toward the door. The wind hit your face the moment you stepped outside, cool and biting, but it wasn’t enough to quell the storm raging inside you.
You ran.
The streets blurred into one indistinct smear of light and shadow as you ran aimlessly, your feet pounding against the pavement, carrying you farther and farther from that studio. From him.
Eventually, the pavement gave way to sand, and the sharp tang of the ocean filled the air. The moon hung high above, casting a silver glow over the beach. Your chest heaved, your lungs burning as you collapsed onto the sand, letting the waves crash against the shore in a soothing rhythm that mocked your turmoil. You kept running, further and further away from whitesand bay, along the beach.
You stumbled, falling to your knees in the sand, clutching your arms around yourself. Your chest heaved as the tears fell freely, the sound of the ocean mixing with your sobs. Lina. You could picture them together, her hand in his, the same way they had been for so many years before you. The seagulls cried above you, indifferent to your pain. And in that moment, you realized that the world didn’t stop for you. It never had. You stared out at the endless sea, the dark horizon stretching in front of you.
How could I have been so blind?
The waves crashed against the shore, each one louder than the last. You are nothing to him. The thought echoed in your mind over and over, relentless, until you could barely breathe under the weight of it.
And just when you thought the world couldn’t get any colder, the tears started again. They fell freely now, salt mixing with the salt of the sea.
You had wanted to be enough. But maybe that was a joke after all. But even as your body trembled with the weight of the heartbreak, you knew one thing: You could never go back. Not to him, not to that studio, not to any of it. You were just a wave, crashing onto the shore, and he was the sea god.
The night wrapped itself around you like a suffocating blanket. The cold air bit into your skin, but it wasn’t enough to numb the ache clawing at your chest. Each crashing wave seemed to echo the bitter truth you couldn’t escape: you were never going to be enough for him. You curled tighter into yourself, trembling as the tears continued to flow. The sand clung to your dress, to your damp hands, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. The world had narrowed to the storm raging inside you—a tempest of betrayal, doubt, and misery.
The sharp chill of the ocean breeze whipped your hair against your tear-streaked face, but it was nothing compared to the icy grip of despair coiling around your heart. Every promise he’d made, every word of reassurance, felt like shards of glass now, cutting into the fragile hope you’d built. The waves surged closer, the cold spray dotting your skin. Your sobs mixed with the crashing tide, swallowed up by the vast, indifferent sea.
You hugged yourself tightly, your body shaking as the cold seeped deeper into your bones. Yet, you stayed there, rooted to the spot, as if the ocean could somehow wash away the ache inside you. But no wave could reach that far, no tide could touch the place where your heart ached. You wanted to scream, to shout at the world for the injustice of it all, but the air in your lungs wouldn’t let you. You were too small for this world, too insignificant for him. You would never be the sea. You were just a small wave, lost in the expanse of the tide.
Rafayel’s POV
The door to the studio swung open, and Rafayel stepped inside, laughter trailing after him. “You should’ve seen the look on that shopkeeper’s face when I said we’d take both cakes,” he said, his voice warm and light. He turned to Lina, who chuckled softly as she followed him, holding one of the carefully boxed pastries. “He probably thought we were insane.”
Rafayel kicked the door shut behind him, balancing his own box of confections, his grin still in place. “I can’t wait to see my cutie’s face when she tries these. She’s going to love them.”
But the moment his gaze swept across the room, his laughter faltered and then stopped entirely.
The studio was transformed. Soft candlelight flickered, casting golden hues across the walls. Seashells glimmered like scattered pearls, carefully arranged along the edges of the space. Strands of delicate seaweed draped like garlands, their green silkiness catching the light. Trinkets, small but unmistakably meaningful, dotted the surfaces—each one an ode to moments he had shared with you. The table was set with plates of untouched food, lovingly prepared, and the air held a faint, tantalizing aroma that now felt unbearably heavy.
He froze, the pastry box slipping slightly in his grip. His throat tightened as his eyes roved over every detail, taking in the love and care you had poured into the space. The decorations, the mementos, the effort—it was overwhelming.
“Rafayel?” Lina’s voice broke through the silence. She stepped forward, her brows knitting in concern. “What’s wrong?”
“I…” His voice cracked, and he set the box down on the nearest surface with trembling hands. “I fucked up,” he whispered, barely audible. His fingers grazed one of the seashells, its surface smooth and cool. He trailed his hand over a string of seaweed, the soft texture almost mocking him. “I fucked up bad.”
Lina’s concern deepened. “What are you talking about?”
Rafayel turned toward her, his expression stricken. “The anniversary. Our anniversary. It slipped my mind.” His voice was a low, shaky whisper as he glanced back at the table, the untouched plates, the flickering candles. “She did all of this… for me. For us.”
He called out your name, his voice echoing through the space. “Are you here? Cutie?” His steps quickened as he moved through the studio, searching. The bathroom. The bedroom. The small corner where you sometimes curled up to read. “Are you asleep?” he called, though he knew better. Each empty room was another blow to his gut.
Panic clawed at him as he returned to the main room, his gaze darting to the table again, the small trinkets, the soft glow of candles still burning. The room felt haunted, filled with the ghost of your hope and effort.
“Shit,” he muttered under his breath, running a hand through his hair, gripping it tightly. He grabbed his phone and immediately dialed Thomas.
“Thomas, did she—did she say anything to you? Did she mention where she might go?” Rafayel’s voice was taut with desperation.
Thomas hesitated. “She called me earlier. She asked if you were still at the sale. That’s all she said.”
The weight of Thomas’s words slammed into Rafayel like a wave. You’d called, searching for him, only to learn the truth he had tried to ignore. It had slipped his mind completely. He didn’t know you were setting all of this up. For him. For the both of you.
“Thanks,” Rafayel muttered, ending the call and immediately dialing your number. He paced the studio, his heart racing as the line rang once… twice… three times—
And then he heard it. The faint buzz of your phone, abandoned on the sofa near the window.
“Shit!” Rafayel cursed, grabbing the device and staring at the darkened screen as if it could offer him answers. “Shit, shit, shit!”
He collapsed onto the chair you had once sat in, his head in his hands. Where were you? His gaze drifted to the table again, the untouched dinner, the carefully arranged decorations.
How could he have been so blind? So careless? You had given him everything, and he… he had been too wrapped up in himself, too foolish to see what truly mattered.
Lina hesitated before taking a few careful steps toward Rafayel, watching his every move with growing concern. She’d never seen him like this before. His usual confident, almost cocky demeanor had vanished, leaving only raw distress in its place. He sat slumped in the chair, his phone clutched tightly in his hands, his chest rising and falling with each shaky breath.
"Rafayel..." she began softly, her voice gentle but concerned. "What’s going on? What happened?"
Her hand brushed against his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him, but the instant her fingers made contact with his skin, he flinched as though struck. His body jerked back, his eyes flashing with something wild—something dangerous. His eyes, usually a mischievous swirl of pink and blue, flared into a startling, unearthly bright blue before he clenched them shut, his jaw tightening.
“I’m sorry,” he muttered, his voice hoarse as he pulled away, his fists curling. “Lina, I—sorry. I didn’t mean to—” He forced himself to inhale deeply, reigning in his emotions as the scales receded and his eyes returned to their usual hue. “I’m fine,” he lied, though the tension in his shoulders betrayed him. “I just... I need to find her.”
Lina’s hand hovered uncertainly before falling back to her side. “Rafayel,” she began gently, “her phone’s here. Her purse. Even her car keys. Where could she have gone?”
“I don’t know,” he snapped, the sharpness in his voice born of self-directed frustration. “And that’s what’s driving me insane.” He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at the roots as if the pain could ground him. “She’s out there somewhere, without her coat, without her phone... and it’s freezing tonight.”
Lina straightened, crossing her arms. “Then let me help—”
“No.” His interruption was immediate, his tone brooking no argument. He turned to her, his expression pained but resolute. “This is my fault. I need to fix this myself.”
“But—”
“Please, Lina,” he cut in, softer this time. “If she’s out there, you’ll hear from me. Just… if you see her, let me know. But I have to do this alone.”
After a long, hesitant pause, Lina relented, her lips pressing into a thin line. “Fine. But don’t do anything reckless. I’ll keep my eyes open and let you know if I find anything.”
Rafayel nodded, murmuring his thanks before grabbing his coat and storming out into the night.
The cold air bit at his face as he ran through the streets, his breath forming short puffs in the frigid night. He clutched his phone tightly, the screen glowing as he swiped to a recent photo of you, showing it to every passerby he stopped.
“Have you seen her?” he asked a bewildered man on the corner. “This woman? Please—it’s urgent.”
The man shook his head, muttering an apology before hurrying off. Rafayel grit his teeth, suppressing the wave of panic threatening to consume him. Where are you?
The thought repeated like a drumbeat as he made his way to the beach. The icy wind off the water made him shiver, but he pressed forward, searching desperately. He called your neighbor, pacing along the shoreline as he waited for an answer.
The voice on the other end was soft, a little worried. “No... the lights are off. The door’s locked. I haven’t seen her since this afternoon.”
His heart skipped a beat, the silence that followed pressing like a weight on his chest. Where were you? Where could you have gone? You were working so hard fore him, for the both of you since the afternoon and he wasn’t even there to experience it with you together. He could imagine it, the smile on your face as you placed those shells, the excitement in your movements as you cooked his favorite food. His eyes darted to the horizon, a dark line of water stretching out before him, and his legs moved faster, pushing him toward the shore, toward the place where you sometimes went to escape.
The beach was empty when he arrived, the wind biting at his skin, the waves crashing softly against the sand. He scanned the shoreline, dread filling him as he searched. There was no sign of you, but his heart refused to let go of the hope that you might be here.
He walked for what felt like hours, the weight of the cold creeping into his bones as the night deepened. The autumn air turned chillier, the first hints of winter brushing against his skin. You hadn’t taken your coat. You hadn’t taken anything. What was he thinking? You’d never leave without saying something. So why was he—
His breath hitched as his gaze landed on something ahead. A small lump on the sand.
His heart stopped, the world narrowing down to that single, fragile form crumpled against the cold ground.
“No!” he whispered, his voice raw with emotion. He ran towards you, his legs moving faster than they ever had before, fear propelling him forward. His feet barely touching the ground as he pushed forward, his every step frantic. He reached you within seconds, his pulse hammering in his ears. He knelt beside you, his hands trembling as he gently touched your shoulder.
“Cutie?” he called, his voice cracking. His knees hit the sand as he reached you, and his heart twisted painfully at the sight. You were curled in on yourself, your arms hugging your knees, your face hidden. Tear tracks glistened on your cheeks, even in the dim moonlight, and your body trembled from the cold.
“Shit,” Rafayel hissed, his voice barely a whisper as panic surged again. You were cold, so cold. Damp from the wet sand, your skin pale as if the very life had been drained from you. He pulled off his jacket, draping it around you as gently as he could, his hands still shaking.
Why didn’t I see it? Why didn’t I see how badly she needed me?
He slid his arms around you, his heart aching as he pulled you into his lap, cradling you as though you might break into a thousand pieces. He brushed the strands of hair from your face, his thumb gently caressing your cheek as he whispered your name over and over, praying that you would wake up. That you would hear him. “Fuck,” he breathed, feeling a wave of guilt crash over him. “What did I do? What the hell did I do…”
But he couldn’t. Not now. Now, all he could do was hold you, his arms wrapping around you protectively as he rocked gently, trying to warm you, trying to make everything okay.
“I’m here, okay? I’m here. I’m so sorry, cutie.” he whispered, his voice breaking. His mind raced, but nothing could erase the hollow ache in his chest. The thought of losing you, of failing you—he couldn’t bear it. He wouldn’t. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, the words tumbling from him like a confession he had never intended to make. “I’m so sorry. I fucked up. I messed this up, I—I’m here now.”
He clutched you tighter, trembling with the weight of his regret. The wind cut through the beach, but he barely noticed, too consumed by the sight of you—so still, so fragile, in his arms. His mind raced, scrambling for something, anything, to fix this
Your eyes fluttered open weakly, barely meeting his. You were too exhausted to respond, your body utterly spent.
“Hey,” he whispered, his voice unsteady as he gently tucked his coat tighter around you. “I’ve got you. I’m so sorry.” His thumb brushed the tear-streaked curve of your cheek, his chest aching at the evidence of your heartbreak. “You shouldn’t be out here. It’s too cold...not like this. Not alone,” Rafayel murmured, his voice thick with emotion. His hands trembled as he tried to warm you, his arms sheltering you from the relentless chill of the wind. “I should’ve been there. I should’ve—” He broke off, his throat tightening painfully. Words felt so useless now, but he couldn’t stop them. He needed you to know. “I’m the biggest idiot in the world. I forgot something so important, something that should’ve been at the center of my mind.” His arms slipped beneath you, lifting you effortlessly despite your protests—if there were any.
Your lips moved faintly, but the sound was lost in the cold wind. He leaned closer, his ear near your mouth. “What is it? I’m here. Please... say something.”
“I thought... maybe you'd care,” you whispered, your voice barely audible. The words struck him harder than any physical blow ever could. He felt the sting in his chest, his breath hitching as guilt twisted the knife deeper.
“I do care!” he exclaimed, his voice desperate. “More than anything. I was just... I was so caught up in everything else, and I—I didn’t realize how much you needed me. How much you’ve always been there for me. I messed up, cutie. I know I did.”
You shivered against him, and he shifted to shield you better from the biting wind. “Let me take you home,” he pleaded, his voice softer now. “We’ll fix this. I’ll fix this. I’ll make it right, I swear.”
For a long moment, you didn’t respond, and his heart hammered in his chest. Finally, you gave the faintest of nods, your head resting against his chest. You shivered in his arms, your eyes fluttering shut again, too drained to muster a response. Panic surged in Rafayel as he felt how cold your skin was against his. He shifted, standing with you carefully cradled in his arms, his coat wrapped tightly around you.
“Hey, hey, stay with me,” he pleaded, his voice urgent but soft. “I need you to hold on, okay? Just a little longer. Let’s get you somewhere warm.” He pressed his cheek to your temple for a moment, as though the simple touch might reassure you—and himself—that you were still here with him.
Rafayel didn’t waste a second. He scooped you up gently, careful not to jostle you. The warmth of his jacket wrapped around your frame and the steady rhythm of his heartbeat seemed to soothe some of the tension in your body. He murmured quiet reassurances as he carried you, his voice a constant presence in the cold, empty night. His normally cocky demeanor had shattered into shards of raw vulnerability, replaced by a frantic urgency to get you home—his home. Your breathing was shallow, your limbs slack in his hold, and every uneven step he took felt like walking a tightrope with everything he valued most precariously balanced in his grasp. He adjusted his hold, cradling you tighter against his chest. “Look, I know I’m an idiot sometimes. Fine, most of the time,” he admitted, his words a jumble of nervous energy and shaky humor. “But this isn’t the time to prove me wrong, alright? Just hang on a little longer. I’m taking you home.”
By the time you reached the studio, the candlelight had dimmed, but the room still held the warmth of the love you had poured into it. Rafayel carried you inside. By the time he reached the threshold of his room, his shirt clung to him, drenched from sweat and your tears. He nudged the door open with his shoulder, careful not to jostle you, and hurried inside.
The room was cold and dimly lit, the heater long dormant. He set you down on the bed, fumbling with the blankets to cocoon you in their warmth. Your body trembled, and his chest constricted as he watched you stir faintly before slipping deeper into unconsciousness.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, barely audible at first, as if the walls themselves might condemn him. Then louder, more desperate, his voice cracking. “I’m so damn sorry. I was stupid—so, so stupid. I should’ve seen this coming. Should’ve kept you safe. Should’ve—” He stopped himself, biting down hard on the inside of his cheek to stifle the sob building in his throat. His eyes flickered between his usual hues and that unearthly blue every now and then.
His hands hovered over your face, fingers trembling as he brushed damp strands of hair from your skin. “You’re too good for me, you know that? Too good for someone who screws up as much as I do. But I promise—” His voice broke, the words spilling out in a frenzied rush. “I promise I’ll make it up to you. Il love you, cutie. I love you so much.” And then, because even in his rawest moments he couldn’t help himself, he added with a weak, self-deprecating chuckle, “I am lucky I’m this charming, or I don’t think you’d ever put up with me.”
He turned on the heater, pacing back and forth as he muttered under his breath, berating himself in every way he could think of, his brattiness peeking through as he cursed the broken world that had led to this moment. He glanced at you repeatedly, as if reassuring himself you hadn’t vanished, that you hadn’t slipped through his fingers.
When you stirred, your eyelids fluttering open, he froze mid-step. His usual confident smirk was gone, replaced by wide, guilt-stricken eyes. “You’re awake,” he blurted, his voice filled with relief but tinged with apprehension. “I know I screwed up,” he admitted quietly, his lips brushing against your temple. “But—seriously, who let you do this to yourself, huh? Oh wait, that’s me. Fantastic job, Rafayel. Bravo.” He huffed out a shaky laugh, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered, sitting at your bedside. The words spilled out before he could stop them, over and over again. “I’m so, so sorry. This—this isn’t how it was supposed to go. You’re supposed to be mad at me, not like this. Not…” His voice cracked, and he scrubbed a hand down his face, frustration bubbling beneath the surface.
Then, almost instinctively, the mask of bravado slipped back into place. “But, hey, look at you, stealing my bed like it’s your right. I mean, sure, I offered, but still.” His smirk faltered, his voice softening. “You better not make a habit of this, you know? Making me worry this much.”
You shifted, your eyelids fluttering completely open, and the sight of your weary gaze meeting his nearly unraveled him.
“Raf?” Your voice was weak, barely audible, but it was enough to snap him upright.
“Hey, you’re awake!” He forced a grin, though it couldn’t hide the guilt pooling in his eyes. “Good, because I was just about to start serenading you with an apology song. Don’t ask for a refund… the lyrics are terrible.”
You tried to sit up, but he was on you in an instant, gently pressing you back down. “Whoa, whoa, no sudden moves, alright? Just... stay put for once. Let me handle it for a change.”
"Handle what?" you asked, your voice edged with exhaustion and confusion.
His grin wavered, giving way to something more honest, more afraid. “Everything. All of it. I... I screwed up, okay? I’m the idiot who let you get like this, who didn’t see—who didn’t stop—” His words tangled, and he exhaled sharply. “I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry, and I’ll keep saying it until you believe me. Or, you know, until you tell me to shut up. Whichever comes first.”
Your lashes fluttered weakly again, and a barely audible sound escaped your lips. “...Rafayel...?”
His heart soared and broke all at once at the sound of your voice. “I’m here,” he said quickly, leaning closer so you could hear him clearly. “I’m right here. I’ve got you.”
Tears welled in his eyes as you looked up at him, your gaze heavy with exhaustion and something he couldn’t quite name—hurt, maybe, or disappointment. It cut him deeper than any blade ever could.
“I’m sorry,” he said again, his voice a choked whisper. “I know that doesn’t fix this, but I swear, I’ll spend every moment making it up to you if you let me.”
For a moment, silence hung between you, broken only by the hum of the heater and the soft whistle of the wind outside. Finally, you whispered, your voice trembling, “I waited...”
“I know,” he whispered, his tears falling freely now. “You shouldn’t have had to. You deserve better than that, better than me—but I’m begging you, please give me another chance. Don’t give up on me yet.”
Finally, your voice, though weak, broke the quiet. “You forgot... something that meant so much to me.”
Rafayel’s throat tightened, but he nodded, accepting your words. “I know. And I’ll spend as long as it takes to make it up to you. I’ll show you how much you mean to me. I love you,” he whispered against your skin, the words soft but raw with sincerity. “More than anything. More than I can even say. I don’t deserve you, but… please, let me try. Let me make it up to you.”
“Don’t leave me,” he repeated, his voice a breathless whisper, “Not like this.” His voice cracked on the last word, and for a moment, you could see the mask slip—just for a second. Rafayel was scared. Scared of losing you. Scared of failing you. It was the one thing he had never let you see, the one thing he kept locked away in the deep recesses of his heart, but now, it was clear as day.
As you looked at him, something shifted between the two of you—an understanding, perhaps. You could see his desperation, the way he clung to the edges of his composure, trying to hide the vulnerability he never allowed anyone to witness.
I thought... I thought this was everything I could give. Everything I could be..." your own voice cracking.
He shook his head again, his grip never loosening. “You’re so much more than all of this. I’ve been blind, cutie. And now I can see it—see you.” He gently cupped your face in his hands, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks as if to erase every doubt that had taken root there. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry for making you feel invisible.”
You closed your eyes for a moment, the tears still staining your face, but the weight of his words was a strange kind of relief. He was here. He saw you now. The storm of emotions inside you hadn’t dissipated, but his presence, the raw sincerity in his voice, made you feel something close to safety.
Rafayel kissed your forehead softly, the gentle pressure of his lips a tender promise. “I’m here, cutie. And I’ll do everything I can to make this right. You won’t feel invisible again.”
You nodded slowly, the tears still flowing, but there was a flicker of hope, however faint. "Just... don't forget again," you whispered.
“I won’t,” he promised, his voice firm, but his eyes were full of vulnerability. "I won’t. Never again."
You didn’t respond immediately, your eyes closing as if you were too weary to respond. But when Rafayel reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours, a faint squeeze answered him. It wasn’t forgiveness, not yet, but it was enough—a thread of hope that he clung to with everything he had. For now, you didn’t pull away, and that was a start.
AN: reblogs, feedback and opinions are appreciated!
#love and deepspace#lads#lads rafayel#lnds rafayel#rafayel love and deepspace#zayne x reader#rafayel x reader#lads drabble#l&ds rafayel#l&ds#rafayel#oneshotswithlina#rafayel l&ds#love and deepspace rafayel#rafayel x you#rafayel oneshot#rafayel fluff#rafayel fanfic#reader x rafayel#rafayel angst#rafayel x non mc#lads angst#love and deepspace angst#lnds angst#homura#qi yu#qi yu love and deepspace#qi yu x reader
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"Once Upon A Dream"
Benedict Bridgerton x Original Female Character.
Summary: In the glittering world of high society, Belle Cowper has always stood in the shadow of her sister, Cressida—until an unexpected encounter with her nemesis, Benedict Bridgerton, sparks a desire to defy her family's expectations. As the Masquerade Ball approaches, Belle dares to embrace her boldness and seize the freedom she's always longed for.
word count: 4.9k
N/A: hi lol, idk if i should do a second part... lmk if you'd like me to<3
Being the youngest Cowper daughter has certainly more downsides than perks. Was it because of their parents’ lack of humbleness? Their Dad’s thirst for money or Mother’s thirst for success? Probably, but there was a big one on top of Belle’s list on disadvantages, which was having Cressida as an older sister. Naturally the attention wouldn’t go to the second daughter, but having a mean and sharped tongued sibling as a reference didn’t help either. Belle was raised to wait for the spotlight, yet the waiting didn’t stop even after years of her sister debuting in society. She observed as things happened from the outside, talking only when needed, and hiding under her sister’s shadow. Given the predicament Cressida had to endure, by the threat of the Cowper’s downfall, Belle didn’t complain as much for being left behind. The weight of having to marry this season no matter the cost wasn’t hers, and if that meant having to wear the dullest dresses, the same tight bun, and not attracting suitors to overshadow their purpose she had no choice but to comply. It didn’t make it easier though, loneliness can be one of your worst enemies if found in the wrong person.
Apart from not being forced to marry as soon as possible, there were a few advantages of being the neglected daughter. For instance, today, at this hot air balloon event, Belle was allowed to sneak out. Araminta too busy bad mouthing with other ladies to notice, and Cressida probably walking around trying to catch Lord Debling’s attention along with Eloise Bridgerton. She took the chance to wander around the different tents surrounding the event, casually colliding with the presentation of the balloon’s engineer. Hidden in a corner inside the tent, she listened attentively for the first part of it. That until the presence of a hurried man distracted her, making her frown and mentally curse at the sight of Benedict Bridgerton.
“Would you mind not making a fuss? Some of us are actually trying to hear.” Belle said, not in a friendly way. The man turned, taking notice in the owner of the snarky comment, but instead of being annoyed by it he let out a mischievous smirk.
“Miss Cowper, my deepest apologies.” Benedict charismatically put on a hand on his chest, exuding sarcasm from every fiber. “I didn’t know you were capable of taking interest in...”
“Engineering.” She completed for him, crossing her arms in annoyance. “Something you wouldn’t be able to tell since you entered here... let me guess, is it running from Mama’s or their daughters?”
“Both.” He admitted, shamelessly. Belle let out an amused scoff, while denying with her head.
The fact that she was a lonely person didn’t mean Belle was a quiet one. Growing up with Cressida does thing to one’s character, and when given the chance, she wasn’t backing up from speaking her mind. Specifically, with the family that has indirectly tormented hers ever since she can remember: the Bridgerton’s. It wasn’t her parents’ constant dragging that made her feel resent towards them, she formed her own opinion as soon as she gained consciousness of the intricacy of society. She was mature enough to admit it was envy, not because of their money or position, but their perfectly family dynamic and how they managed to be victorious over any difficulty they face. Now, Eloise was a different case, for now she was allowed to be Cressida’s friend, she still gained Belle’s regards for not falling into bad mouthing of other people, and actually acknowledging her existence. At least enough for her to greet each time they saw each other. But the man in front of her, now, was a personal matter. He was also the second son, but in exchange, he had everything she ever wished for; freedom. So, the only way she had to let out her frustration, was to make obvious her aversion towards him.
“You really do owe no heart, Mr. Bridgerton.” She said on a lower tone, as the presentation still took place behind them. “We all know you adore engaging in clandestine relations with God only knows who, but now you are creating hopes on debutantes? That is extremely low, even coming from you.” While hearing her depicting answer, Benedict’s demeanor faltered for a second, for her words caused something within him.
“As you seem so invested in my personal life, here’s an update: I have never shown interest in courtship with any lady. I was merely being polite; the problem was they assumed my intentions.” He answered cooly, throwing away how she did hit a nerve.
“And who is this poor lady, you say?” She skeptically asked.
“Miss Lowell.” By the answer, Belle lout out a mocking chuckle.
“Very well, you have a point. Perhaps she wasn’t aware of your... precedence.” With the tone of the last word, Benedict’s limit reached a certain point.
“Does something about me bother you, Miss Cowper? Or does your tight bun affect your brain like it does to your sister?” He quivered back, knowing the question would get to her.
“I, in exchange for half of the ton, dismiss your charming image.” She spoke, in a more serious tone. “My “tight” bun doesn’t allow me to fathom the idea of someone thinking of you as an eligible suitor. Especially when you are a second son, who quit the Art Academy and also goes from flower to flower like a desperate bee.” The man opened his mouth in shock for a second, as each syllable managed to make him boil in the inside.
“You know what, Miss Cowper?” He threated, as he stepped close to her. “I see it now, you are jealous. I am not the one hiding in corners, living by my annoying sister’s shadow without anyone to care about me. At least people considered me eligible, contrary to you. And I don’t even take interest on it, as I don’t desperately desire to marry.” Once those harsh words were out, there was no turn back. Usually, he let slide most of Belle remarks at events like these. Sometimes he even expected them, but this time, she crossed a line and so did he.
Benedict didn’t take the weight of his words until he caught on the girl visibly gulping and shutting down, making him instantly letting things get this far. He opened his mouth immediately to apologize, but was interrupted by the clapping celebrating the end of the presentation that still happened. He distractedly turned, and when searching back for Belle, she was nowhere to be seen. After many minutes of walking around trying to get a glimpse of her, he failed. Unbeknownst to everyone, the girl was kneeling behind a tent while crying unconsolably. She didn’t blame him, for apart of him just spitting facts and answering to what she provoked, he still had no idea of the reality behind the Cowper Household. The season gets to a point where she can’t stand feeling alone and purposeless. Cressida was more unbearable than ever, even when she had a friend. What about her? Always in her lane, always pleasing everyone but herself. She was tired of counting days until she was free to seek suitors, friends, and show herself without being accused of overshadowing her protagonist sister. Belle has gaslighted her like this her whole life, and once again, it calmed her down enough to stand up again.
As she walked back to where the balloon was being displaced, she expected the spectacle to had started by then, but found a shocking scene instead. The balloon swayed violently in the wind, ropes straining as men fought to keep it grounded. Belle watched, her heart pounding as the balloon threatened to break free. The crowd gasped, hands flying to mouths, and Benedict was right in the middle of the chaos, his muscles taut as he pulled against the wind. For a second, forgotten was their previous encounter as she took in his bravery, and how good he looked pulling from the rope. Belle had to acknowledge there was a good reason for him being so desired, at least the physical part of it. After tense seconds of struggle, she got out of her trance as everyone managed to control the balloon as it safely landed, ending on a celebration from the ton.
“Isabelle Ariadne Cowper!” Her mother called. “Where in heavens were you? Your sister almost gets injured!”
“What does that have to do with me, Mama?” She asks back, annoyed by the whole situation. Araminta frowned, curious of the nature of her attitude, but soon enough her eyes moved back to Cressida.
“Oh, thank the lord. It seems Lord Debling is assisting her.” She smirked, making Belle scoff in disbelief, as she took in the aftermath of the incident. Males involved in pulling the ropes were surrounded by swooning ladies, Benedict of course being amongst them. When her eyes caught on him, he was already staring at her with regret written all over his face as she just eyed back with a weary expression.
“I will wait in the carriage.” Belle said, knowing her Mama wouldn’t mind her absence once again.
As Benedict finally freed himself from his fan club, he was late again to find a glimpse of Belle. Sighing in frustration he came back to his family, as everyone made their way towards the carriages. As usual he stood next to Eloise, who kept on teasing him because of his heroic stance and falling into unwanted ladies' attention.
“Speaking of unwanted attention, I can’t help to wonder how does your friendship with Cressida work?” He mocked back. “I am surprised you’ve endured her this much.”
“She isn’t as difficult as one may think, you know.” Eloise began. “It’s different with me, and by talking to her I’ve learned she endures a different kind of pressure.”
“Doesn’t half of the ton go through marriage pressure?” He asked back, skeptic.
“It’s not just marriage, it’s her family. If she doesn’t marry well by the end of the season, the Cowper’s are most likely to be out of the ton. Cressida told me that even her sister wasn’t allowed to have suitors or friends in order to not take the spotlight.” At the mention of Belle, Benedict’s expression turned from teasing to a more serious one.
“She isn’t?” He asked in disbelief, his sister nodding in response.
“I, for once assumed she hated suitors and marriage mart as much as I do. But after seeing it up close, it’s clear Belle has been secluded for the sake of her sister’s success.” Eloise sight in sympathy, as she crossed her arms. “I wonder what kind of challenges they face behind the walls of their household.”
Benedict’s heart clenched at the thought of it. He always assumed Belle was purposefully a wallflower, hiding behind Cressida. After hearing the truth, the guilt from his previous words towards her increased. As they got in their carriages and went back home, his mind began to slowly connect the dots. Of course, she was always alone and apart in different corners, judged by her sister’s precedence. The slightest hint of attention she received was to be tossed away, for Cressida was to be the one catching people’s eyes instead of her. He gets it now, why each time Belle can, takes it against him, a man who represented everything she couldn’t have. Benedict thought on how Eloise gave Cressida a chance, and he thought that perhaps, he could give Belle one as well.
Two days later, the balloon incident was long forgotten and the Cowper household already prepared for the next event; the Bridgerton’s Masquerade ball. Belle was locked in her room like most of the time, busy cutting some of Cressida’s old dresses to create her own, as she had none. Araminta chose to cut off Belle’s count in the modiste’s, with the excuse of her sister using the credit and having more chances of eliciting a proposal from Lord Debling. In all honesty, she didn’t mind. It gave her an excuse to dig into her interest, and also made her avoid going to the modiste’s. Or so she thought, before her mother forced her to fetch her sister’s clothing.
“But the dress is not even mine.” She complained.
“Take it as a contribution, Isabelle.” Cressida smirked. “After all, it is my sacrifice for our family. Don’t tell me I need to remind it’s your life being potentially saved as well?” Belle rolled her eyes, knowing she was defeated by the irrevocable excuse.
Along with her trusting Lady’s maid Fiona, she made her way towards the modiste. It wasn’t like she hated the place, but it was a reminder of all the dresses she couldn’t have or even the fabrics she couldn’t sew. Still, Madame Delacroix never failed to be extremely kind towards her. Funnily enough, all but people from the ton noticed her struggle. After fetching the dress, she walked around deciding what to do next. The least she could do is using this occasion to her advantage, so after calling off Fiona to fetch other things, she sat at a hidden corner of Gunther’s tea shop to draw a few dress sketches and drink tea.
“Isabelle, is it you?” After hearing her name, she turned and surprisingly found Eloise was the one to call her, accompanied by her own Lady’s maid, seemingly buying catering things for their upcoming ball. She smiled awkwardly, not used to being approached by people.
“Hello. You can call me Belle.” She nervously chuckled, as her full name only reminded her of being nagged by her family.
“Oh, sure, Belle.” She chuckled back. “How are you doing?”
“I am well, thanks. Taking away Cressida’s dress, I imagine you expected her to be here.”
“No, actually. She told me she’d be missing until the Masquerade ball at my home. I just saw you and thought of saying hi.” Eloise nervously said, taking in how weirded out she seemed. “Well, I guess we will see each other then.”
“Sure.” When noticing her intentions were just friendly, she figured out she could be friendly back. “Are you heading out soon? You can sit with me; I ordered too much biscuits anyway.”
“You know what? I accept.” The girl sat. “I was going to join Benedict later, but who in its five senses want to spend time in the bank?” Belle’s smile faltered when hearing his name, but hid it very well.
“No one.” She agreed.
Initially it was a bit odd interacting with her without Cressida’s presence, but they soon learned that they had some common ground. Belle might not be as passionate about books as Eloise, yet still shared plenty of opinions towards society matters. It wasn’t hard for the Bridgerton girl to notice how refreshingly different she was from her sister. After countless minutes of conversation, Benedict walked into the tea shop looking for her, and he was taken aback after seeing Belle deeply engaged with her.
“Oh! Nice to see you are back, brother.” Eloise took no time in spotting him.
“Uhm, yes. Your maid said something about the bookstore closing soon, I think?” He tilted his head, making the girl gasp in horror.
“My books! I’m so sorry Belle, I forgot. We can continue talking at the Masquerade ball! Benedict, you stay here. The biscuits Mama asked for are yet to be ready. I must make haste.” She hurriedly said, not giving the girl time to even answer or react properly. Soon enough, they were left alone.
“I shall be leaving as well.” Belle quickly took her notebook and stood up.
“Miss Cowper,” He began, stepping in her way “I was expecting to talk to you after... the balloon incident.”
“There is nothing to be said, Mr. Bridgerton.” She answered with a neutral tone. “I don’t hold anything against you, if that’s your concern.”
“No, there is, because-” Benedict stopped himself as he stared around, noting it wasn’t the best space to talk before people take in their interaction. “Do you mind going somewhere more private?” She considered it, given the fact that if her family managed to find out she would be dead by the morning for being seen with a man in public. She nodded, and after taking her things they moved towards the back of the store where no one was around. He took no time on speaking again. “I am deeply regretful of how I treated you.”
“I had it coming, I wasn’t the nicest person in the world either.” She said back, making him frown.
“But you don’t deserve such treatment, no one does. Even if your words were hurtful, I should have known better.” Benedict’s words took her aback, not used to people being considered towards her feelings. She cleared her throat as she nervously moved on her feet.
“In that case, I appreciate your apologies, even if not needed. Perhaps, I shall be sorry as well.” Her eyes wandered everywhere to not meet his.
“For which charge?” He asked with a smile, trying to lift the mood. “Calling me out on my libertine encounters, or my lack of compromise when deciding what to do with my life?” If Belle wasn’t nervous before, she indeed was now.
“Both.” She expressed with her lips pressed. “Though I don’t regret the first one.” Benedict deliberately laughed at that comment.
“Fair enough Miss Cowper, I’ll take it.” He grinned. “I do take back my remarks against you, for now I find myself rather intrigued by your persona instead.”
“Intrigued?” Belle chuckled in disbelief. “What could be intriguing about me?”
“Well, not so many have the will to call on me the way you did that day. I misjudged your quiet presence, and find myself wondering if there is more to those witty comments.” He said, expecting a reaction, but heard a person softly clearing her throat behind them. It was Belle’s maid.
“I must leave.” She said, nodding at Fiona.
“It appears so.” He said, looking back at her. “But think of my words Miss Cowper, I know there is more to you and I bet good things can come from it. Perhaps getting out of your shell can be a starter.”
“My context doesn’t allow it.” She slowly walked towards the servant.
“I may seem like a libertine rake, but trust me, when you have a taste of freedom you will thank me.” He lifted his tone. “Remember, you can be bold and still not surpass the limits of proper.” Belle gave him one last look and walked far from him, though his words still resounded in her brain.
When getting back to the safeness of her bedroom, Belle stare at her unfinished dress and thought of the man’s words. She knew she wished nothing but to be as rebellious as him, but her circumstances were different. Perhaps... she could be bold in a smooth way. For starters, she stared at her reflection and paid attention to the tight bun she got to hate, freeing it with one swift movement. Then, the hidden design in her notebook caught her attention and the idea finally stroke her brain. A Masquerade ball was good to get a taste of freedom. So, for the following two days, she worked day and night on her dress. Even Cressida noted her absence, used to Belle being there for her fittings to take note on how she should not look.
“Isabelle?” She asked, entering her room unannounced, her sister nowhere to be found. “She is probably spending time with that annoying maid of hers.” She muttered to herself as she walked around. Near Belle’s bed, there was a stray sheet of paper she didn’t doubt to collect, and by doing so, she noticed a hidden dress below. It was a gorgeous pink customed made dress, pretty enough to outshine everyone at the ball. “For me? Ah, dear sister, you shouldn’t have.” She smirked while hugging it.
“Cressida.” Belle called sternly from the door. “That is not yours.”
“Oh, is it yours then? Are you planning on using it and stealing the spotlight? Hijacking my chances of finally making Lord Debling ask for my hand?” A classic manipulation tactic.
“You have yours! I picked it up from the modiste myself!” She insisted.
“Ah, that one can be used for the next event. But this one, will steal glances.” Cressida softly traced the fabrics of it.
“Then what will I wear? The ball is tomorrow.” Belle tried reasoning, but it wouldn't work. Not with her.
“Is it?” Cressida fake pouted, putting a hypocrite hand on her shoulder. “I guess you won’t be able to attend then, Isabelle.” She let an evil chuckle. “Now that you have free time, why don’t you go to the modiste? And find me a mask that goes along with my new dress.”
Belle’s eyes watered with rage as Cressida left the room with her clothes. She felt so dumb, for even trying to do something different. If it wasn’t her sister, probably her parents would have found a way to ruin this for her. Angrily, she reunited all of her designs and tossed them to the chimney, waiting to be incinerated when the night came. It took all her willpower to not explode, but soon the anger turned into sadness making her take one step back from her impulsive thoughts. She was hopeless.
“Miss?” Fiona softly called, entering the room and knowing exactly what happened.
“Yes?” She turned, while cleaning the single tear on her face.
“Do you need anything?” Belle let out a defeated sigh.
“A long walk to the modiste.” Fiona nodded, loyally accompanying her. Both were quiet all the way there, the first noise in many minutes being the bell on Madame Delacroix’s store.
“Bonsour, Miss Cowper. Is there something wrong with your sister’s dress?” The Lady with the thick accent asked.
“No.” Belle answered, without being able to hide her demeanor. “I wonder if you have a pink mask with beads around?”
“Sure, wait for me here. Perhaps your maid can help?” Fiona nodded without a doubt, and they both disappeared behind the counter as Belle walked around. When they came back, both shared an indecipherable expression on their faces. “It must be a pretty dress the one you have, to be searching for this mask.”
“Had.” She corrected bitterly. “I can’t have pretty things so it was taken away from me.” Madame Delacroix gave a sympathetic smile as she stepped behind the counter.
“Whoever took it from you feels threatened, probably knows the second you bloom all eyes will turn to you.” Belle chuckled.
“Maybe, but tomorrow it’s not that day.” Fiona shared an evil smile with the modiste, making the girl suspect of them.
“The other day, Miss Belle, something fell off from your belongings.” The woman gave Belle an old piece of paper she recognized as her most precious design. Her eyes lightened immediately.
“My dress! Good God, I’ve been looking everywhere for it.” A genuine smile spread on her face. “I tried to recreate it so many times but it was never like this one. Thank you for keeping it.”
“Thank you for inspiring me.” Delacroix smirked. “You have got a special talent Miss, and a little bird told me you are as equally as good to create them.” She stared at Fiona.
“Ah, I do what I can with what I got.” She dismissed, but when taking in the woman’s words, she turned back at her. “Wait, what do you mean by inspiring you?” Without saying a word, the modiste walked to a curtain and opened it, revealing Belle’s design of her dreams put to reality. The girl gasped as she slowly walked to it, her eyes never shone as bright as now. “Madame, this is gorgeous...” She breathlessly said.
“It’s yours.” Belle quickly turned at her and chuckled nervously.
“What do you mean by mine?” Fiona suppressed a laugh at her miss's reaction.
“Well, I made it for you. Technically, you made it for yourself.” She explained, signing Belle to walk closer to it.
“But I can’t afford it, and how will I even hide it from my family? There is no way-” Her Lady’s maid interrupted.
“Miss, you deserve this.” Fiona held her hands. “You deserve this night.”
“And we already have half a plan created for this. The payment is no matter, as long as you keep sharing those designs with me. As for the ball, tomorrow you will sneak here and prepare to go.”
“I am speechless.” Belle said as she stared at the modiste and squeezed the maid’s hands. “But deeply grateful.”
“You went through enough with your sister’s antics. It is time for you to be you genuinely, at least for the night. Now go home and plan for tomorrow, because it is your big day.” Delacroix stated, and this time the girl agreed without doubt.
*
Unlike most of balls, Benedict was genuinely expecting the Masquerade ball his mother planned. He wore one of his most elegant pieces and a dark mask compelling to the theme. As he walked along his family through the guests they stole many glances, because even with their masks on, it was impossible to not recognize a Bridgerton.
After settling on a corner while everyone kept on getting to the ballroom, Cressida made her appearance and everyone froze at the sight of her dress. Even Benedict found the attire oddly different for her, yet beautiful. The girl, with a smug smile, took no time on getting near to literally fetch her sister away.
“Guess the dress made its job.” She said as a greet.
“Indeed.” Eloise agreed. “Did Madame Delacroix do it?”
“Oh, no. It’s from an undiscovered designer.” She lifted her brows with airs of superiority.
“I see. Well, what about your Mama, is she with your sister?” Eloise asked, and Benedict thanked on her insides because he didn’t have the guts to do so.
“My mother is with Miss Lowell, and poor little Isabelle was feeling under the weather tonight. Her absence is not missed anyway.” Benedict was amused, as the girl didn’t even hide her arrogance. He would lie if he said he wasn’t disappointed towards the girl’s not attendance, and quickly drifted away from their conversation as there was no point getting involved in it. As he took the ambiance of the ballroom trying to see a friendly face, his eyes met a person who was already staring at him. The sight was to be put in a museum; her blue dress with glittery details had a pattern no one had seen before, and her long hair cascaded down her shoulders with such grace no one could imitate. Before even realizing his body naturally moved towards the mystery girl he couldn’t recognize because of the mask, but the second she smiled at him Benedict knew he was already sold to it. When near enough to hear her, his gut tried to tell him something about this gorgeous girl.
“Is it me, or haven’t we met before?” He asks while tilting his head, owned by mere curiousness. “If we haven’t that needs to be fixed at this instant.” The man added, with his characteristic lopsided grin.
“We have, but the context is so different it is like we are meeting all over again.” Benedict’s smile widened when recognizing it was Belle’s voice, making him take a second to stare up and down at her impeccable appearance adorned by the most charming smile he ever saw. The blue she wore that night was definitely becoming her favorite color.
“Them I’m pleased to introduce myself, my Lady.” He softly grabbed her gloved hand and kissed it while making eye contact. “Benedict Bridgerton at your service.”
“Tell me, Mr. Bridgerton. How can a lady have fun in this night? I’m afraid I’m new to the intricacies of a Masquerade ball.” She asked with a smile, trying to calm herself from his touch.
“Ah, you’ve met the indicated for that. For starters, you must allow me your first dance.” He said, without letting go of her hand. Belle nodded, and didn’t miss a second by softly leading her to the dancefloor.
“Were you expecting seeing someone in particular tonight?” She asked, as they began softly moving.
“Well,” Benedict began, while securing his grip on her waist. “I was expecting for a certain lady to show, but her sister mentioned something about her being under the weather.” Belle chuckled, of course Cressida would say so.
“Poor lady, if only she had sneaked out in a secret dance, she would be enjoying being bold without surpassing the limits of proper.” She quoted, making him smirk. “And, dancing with one of the most desire gentleman of the ton.” After hearing that, in one swift movement Benedict changed his grip from her hip to her back.
“Careful there, Miss.” He softly said as they twirled. “You here with that dress and attitude, make me feel things that don’t address me as a gentleman.”
She let out a nervous chuckle as they swirled around the ballroom, all eyes on the mysterious woman who got Benedict Bridgerton, the Eternal Bachelor, finally dancing with someone who wasn’t his family. And Belle? Enjoying not having a name, defying her family’s pressure, dancing with someone she genuinely wanted to dance. She wishes the night would never end, but she knew very well she had an expiration date.
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"Bilbo had assumed accusing an elven lord of Tookishness in his own house would result in swift decapitation and not a decades-long camaraderie that both parties truly cherished, but it seemed that in this regard too, the Lord of Imladris defied expectation."
The Peculiar and the Deranged: Moments between Bilbo Baggins, Elrond Peredhel, and the most unprecedented friendship in Middle-Earth, under the cut!
(aka this friendship wasn’t leaving my mind so I wrote this on my phone and drew this with the 3 pencils I had on a train because I’m incapable of being normal about anything)
on Bilbo's first visit to Imladris, featuring Estel's pet snake:
"You had a rat?" Bilbo blinked, hoping Elrond wouldn't notice the snake he was glaring at had initially been curled around his own neck. "Sir."
"I did not have a rat," corrected Elrond imperiously, looking every bit the lord of the valley. "I would never have a rat, I do not approve of rats. My daughter had a rat. Lothinvar, it was called, the bane of my household. Until this terrible creature wormed its way in. The snake that is, not the child, though Estel is not in my good books at the moment either."
on the return journey, after the death of Thorin Oakenshield:
"What can I do? How can I ever move past this?" Bilbo asked quietly, unsure why exactly he was pouring his heart out to a being six thousand years older than him, who must have faced far greater sorrows.
"Grief," Elrond replied, staring intently at him, "tricks you into thinking it’s all you have left. As though if you let it go, even for a moment, you betray him. You hold onto relics like lifelines, thinking what else is there to keep Thorin alive in your mind? It is a lonely life, Bilbo. It will turn you into the loneliest person in the world."
"Is there no way out?" he gasped, looking up at the elf.
"Start small. A smile, perhaps, when you think of a joke he made," Elrond said steadily, like he was reciting a recipe. “And then, try telling someone about him. Perhaps you could tell me. Something new each time you visit, perhaps.”
“You say it like you have experience of it, sir,” ventured Bilbo. “Like you know it by-heart. Did you get past it?”
“I did,” Elrond’s voice was confident, too confident. Bilbo chose not to probe.
"Thorin's nephews?" Elrond asked later, after Bilbo had gathered himself together, mopped himself up. "They were slain too? Both?"
"Yes, both."
"That is good," Elrond had said with a blank, intense smile etched into his features. "That it was both at once."
"What?" Bilbo sat up in shock, spluttering. "Good? What is wrong with you?"
"Were they not twins? Thorin's nephews I recall were twins, no?"
"Brothers. But what difference does that make? What do you mean good? I beg your pardon, my lord, that's an unhinged thing to say!"
"Oh. I am sorry, Bilbo," Elrond shook his head, the awful, blank expression still on his face. "I am sorry, I spoke without thinking. It is only that I had thought they were twins. Do forgive me, I misunderstood, and spoke out of turn."
"Don't worry," Bilbo sighed, finding to his own surprise that he could manage a laugh. "With names like Fili and Kili, it's frankly a surprise they aren't."
He still thought it was a rather unhinged thing for Elrond to say, but, well — Bilbo Baggins had always been fond of the peculiar and the deranged.
on a visit to the Shire, sharing burnt scones
"Cel was — is — remarkable. She had an exceptional appetite for burnt bread: she would go into the kitchens and instruct the staff to deliberately burn sweetbreads, just because she loved the crunch, apparently."
"She sounds like a Shire lass through and through."
Elrond laughed, shaking his head: "I am certain had I brought her to visit, she would never leave. Though she is not made for the rustic life. A total terror of any creature on four legs. The first time I spotted her she was in a garden, standing on the bench screaming, because she had seen an enormous beetle scuttling around the grass."
"Oh, so it was a damsel in distress situation, eh?"
"Quite the contrary," he admitted. "She threw a pair of gardening scissors right at my head, and called me utterly disgusting for the crime of allowing beetles to exist on my property, and threatened to cut off my hair with the same scissors if she ever came across another one. And mind you, this is Celeborn's daughter, and that soul would have married an Ent if Galadriel hadn't come around."
"Well, that truly is a surprise! Did she not even like dear Arwen's little rat?"
"Oh, you remember the rat!" Elrond's eyes shone, genuinely delighted. "If I remember right, she paid our boys to get rid of it and told Arwen she had sent it to, well, your people."
"I will be certain to invent an illustrious Shire-based family tree for the rat, if your Arwen ever gets around to asking."
on a Yule visit, when Bilbo forwent self-preservation, featuring the same snake:
"Oh, it was not I who named the snake after the Mariner, it was my… other father."
"That's impressive, sir. Quite bohemian."
"One would wish," Elrond muttered darkly, pouring himself more wine, as if all the talk of snakes had driven him to drink. "Estel is friendly with Maglor, who along with Maedhros, raised my brother and I. And I had banned all talk of pet snakes until Maglor showed up last year with a present for Estel: his very own snake named Gil-Estel, which they both insist has nothing to do with the Mariner and is simply a play on the child's name. Which I would have believed, if Maglor did not also own a remarkably ugly cat named Thingol."
"When they say you are Half-Elven, Lord Elrond," Bilbo blurted out, after a short, surprised silence. "Do they mean the other half is merely mortal man, or…?"
"Yes, the other half does indeed refer to mortal men," blinked Elrond in surprise, looking something other than perfectly composed for the very first time. "Do you… suspect otherwise?"
"Oh, I was certain there was a bit of Hobbit somewhere. Just your life, you know, your family, all of it," he waved his hands about the valley. "It's a little… well, Tookish."
"What in the world is a Took?"
on a midnight wander in Minas Tirith on the morning of Aragorn’s wedding to Arwen
When Bilbo came across the figure sat on the steps, he was ridiculously old and his memory even more ridiculously ragged, so he didn’t know why it was that he thought, reflexively, it will turn you into the loneliest person in the world. He didn't say a word though, only reached out a hand and sat beside the figure. Elrond didn’t say a word, only grasped the offered fingers so tightly Bilbo's knuckles turned white, held on as he shook. When it passed, he looked away and apologised, sniffing. "Forgive me, my friend, I do not mean to get melancholic, especially not on a day of such joy. I —"
Bilbo cut across him, too old to deal with the elvish tendency to be completely insufferable.
“How did you get past it the last time? With your brother?”
"I have one of the longest memories in this land, yet I cannot truly remember this one thing," the elf smiled bitterly, tapping his nails on the stone steps. "I slept, I think. A lot. I shrunk out of the world until the sheer pain of it no longer clawed at me. But I cannot do that, Bilbo. Now, I have duties, responsibilities. I have kings to oversee, a valley to hand over and a people for whom I must keep up something of a brave face. There is no longer any room for the small death I was permitted last time."
Elrond sighed. "You must think I am terribly privileged, or that I have too grandiose an idea about my place in this world."
"No, I was just thinking how unfair it is," said Bilbo quietly. "So unfair that for you there is a last time and now a this time."
Elrond, in tears again, was looking at him with an almost obscene gratefulness, as if Bilbo had done him some enormous kindness and not something any friend would do, looked at him in a way that made the hobbit think again, inexplicably, the loneliest person in the world.
“I’m sorry,” said the lord, catching his friend’s expression. “You should not be h-“
"Shut up," Bilbo huffed, looking truly offended, rolling his eyes. "You're insufferable, do you know that? Stop acting like you've jumped off a damned cliff before my eyes, Elrond. I'm starting to think elven history would have been a lot less bloody and tragic had more of you — and I mean that Fëanor, mainly, but the rest of you too — appreciated the value of a good cry. Emotional constipation is just as bad as the real thing, you know. And you can be sure I'll tell old Fëanor that to his face when I see him."
Elrond blinked, then laughed. "Oh, Bilbo, I am glad you found your way back to Imladris this year, I truly am."
"And I, in turn,” Bilbo found himself saying, cursing the fact that his memory decided to make its wondrous reappearance that night. “Am equally glad our mutual friend Aragorn tried to bribe me to put his pet snake in your office that very first day."
on a ship in the sundering seas, far too early
"Suffering from a spot of morning sickness, are we?"
"My apologies, Bilbo," Elrond stumbled back into Bilbo's cabin from the privy, looking only slightly less green than he had when he left it. "Please do not make any sudden movements."
"I am only pleased that you and I are now such intimate friends that you feel comfortable enough to throw up your breakfast in my bathroom. Maybe you should come around and do it every morning to wake me up, like the world’s most useless cockerel."
"It was not by choice, as you very well know," Elrond muttered, downing a swig of ground herbs and honey from a bottle in his pocket. "My mortal heritage does, unfortunately, mean there are some weaknesses to the constitution. Perhaps this is why it was Elros who took ship for Numenor and not I."
"Well, that, and you couldn't resist micromanaging six thousand years of Middle-Earth now, could you?" chortled Bilbo, settling down in a plush chair and laying his walking stick by his side. "Mortality is all well and good, but heaven forbid you lose a chance to develop domestic policy over the continental grain trade. Besides, and I don't want to be the one who brings it up, but…"
"Elbereth, what now?"
"Your father was known as the Mariner, you know," Bilbo snorted. "As in, the seafaring sort, no? It would truly be such a shame if someone were to… write a poem about the mis-inheritance of seasi—"
"Write that poem, Bilbo Baggins, and I will personally petition Ulmo to turn you into seaweed."
in the house of Elrond in Aman, with the chattiest woman Bilbo has ever encountered (which is saying something)
"I only burned that layer because you made me do it, mind you. You really are as remarkable as he said you were," Bilbo blurted out as she picked out pink sugared biscuits with a dark crust that he knew to be from burning. He had even spread jam on them for a second layer of sweetness. "Mad and irritating, to be frank, but remarkable. I am truly glad to know you, Celebrìan — not as Elrond's wife, but, well."
He gestured at her weakly, meant the peculiar and the deranged. She understood.
"Yes, I do pity all the folk that know me as Elrond's dead wife," she wrinkled her nose, sitting down by him and grabbing a second burnt biscuit. "And considering my poor husband's approach to grieving, and all the laments Lindir said he's made him compose, that is what most end up knowing me as. It is quite a pity, I am as you say, delightful. Oh, Bilbo, this is amazing! So wonderful, I didn't think pastries could be this sweet!”
"No, not when your cheapskate of a husband is in charge of the rations," he said in a carrying whisper. "In the Shire though, we know how to live."
"Who are we referring to as a cheapskate then?"
"The elf who implemented a sugar tax in his valley," said Celebrian dryly. "You may know him. Have a biscuit!"
"I would truly rather nail myself to the birch," he said dryly, picking up a piece of bread. "I do not get the logic behind oversweetening victuals. Impractical, unnecessary."
"Oh," Celebrían clapped her hands to her mouth. "Of course! The Lord Elrond grew up amidst the War of Wrath! Surely, he has not mentioned that to you, has he? He never does!"
"Ah, that he was raised in military conditions by a couple of kinslayers?" chuckled Bilbo. "No, not at all. Not once. He certainly never brought it up in our first ever conversation. Should we ask him to expand?"
#lord of the rings#elrond peredhel#bilbo baggins#bagginshield#celrond#lotr#the hobbit#balrogballs writes#balrogballs art
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This Week in Tomarrymort (12 – 19 September 2024)
Hi everyone, so sorry this is a couple of days late this week! Will be back on the normally scheduled time next week!
As with last week, please feel free to add a little overview/summary about your update to the notes! I so enjoyed reading all the notes last week 🤍
(And in case you missed, a recap of the extra notes from last week!)
Ills of Murder by @shadow-of-the-eclipse (E, 37k, WIP) [source] "Harry comes in swinging from a bleak version of sixth and seventh years, fully intending to kill Tom. Unfortunately it seems the only people Tom and Harry are incapable of killing is the other. Harry's on attempt 4 and counting and this time he gives up on spells and decides to punch Tom Riddle's nose off. Tom's still utterly enamoured with him." friend of the devil (a friend of mine) by @shyinsunlight (E, 11k, WIP) [source] "When after four long years Harry and Tom meet again, the world turns upside down. Or maybe it was upside down all along, and it’s now flipping back over." These Fragments We've Shored by @rowena-rain (M, 23k, WIP) [source] "Things have gone from bad to worse, and Harry is finally about ready to take matters into his own hands…even if it means defying the normal laws of Magic and actually doing something for himself for once. (Guess which one will be harder for him 😂) In this update, Harry and Voldemort unexpectedly come face to face for the first time since the Dark Lord's death…which leads to a disturbing realization for Harry." Anytime, Anywhere, Always by @moontearpensfic (E, 13k, WIP) [source] "A Harry-corrupts-Tom AU: Tom expects to feel victorious at his greatest enemy's confession. Instead, he develops a crush on him." the crushing weight of cancelling your fav by @cindle-writes (M, 4k, complete) [source] "Tom Riddle has made millions and built a cult following around his politics-themed online stream, much to his boyfriend Harry’s bemusement. However, bemusement quickly turns into concern when Harry meets one of Tom’s biggest, most fervent fanboys, Regulus Black."
Now onto the updates from this week!
*
Tomarrymort One Shots and Completed Fic
Chapter 22 (Completed) of A Shot in the Dark by Ragdolly
One Shot | The Dinner by moontear for @moontearpensfic
One Shot | There's Something About (The Way You Are) by Ragdolly
*
Tomarrymort Ongoing Fics
Chapter 12 of the stars, my destination by @milkandmoon-ao3
Chapter 1 of bad moon rising by sansaerys
Chapter 11 of Sits the wind in that quarter by @mosiva
Chapter 2 of a pound of flesh by @ictyn
Chapter 8 of Saint Harry by @alenablack @chaos-bear
Chapter 34 of Part One - The Solitude of Suffering by @iseliljathedreamer
Chapter 18 of Date Ideas for the Linguistically Inclined by Antique_Mango
Chapter 14 of Double-Aspect Paradox by TimaeusKosmou
Chapter 6 of God is a Wizard by @onehitpleb
Chapters 121 through 123 of Liquida Tenebris (Remastered) by @dymis
Chapter 17 of Learning to love by @l-archiduchesse
Chapter 1 of The Cosmos In Your Eyes by @v33r00
Chapter 7 of Do It Over by @thefangirlibrarian
Chapter 6 of These Fragments We've Shored by @rowena-rain
Chapter 21 of Time Stumbler by Wintumn
Chapter 4 of Hole in the Wall by tomrddle
Chapters 1 through 3 of Fetters of the Damned by @sc0rpiflow3r
Chapter 16 of Outrunning the Villain in You by @zenyteehee
Chapter 5 of midnight train by @girl-with-goats
Chapter 43 of Of Monsters, Of Men by @ca-xan-dra
Chapter 2 of the body is a blade by @lovely-lotus
Chapter 2 of Dream a little dream (of me) by @cenedrariva
Chapter 12 of Just Business by @holaolla1
*
#tomarry#tomarrymort#harrymort#tomarrymort recs#aethon recs#tomarry recs#ao3 recs#fanfic recs#hp fic recs#harrymort recs#tomarry weekly#this week in tomarrymort
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𝒮ins 𝑜f 𝒯he ℳanor ۰ sjy
𝑔ardener!jake x 𝓁ady!reader ⚹ cw. set in 1880s, angst??, fluff, mentions of arrange marriage, love at first sight??, jake is down bad, sunghoon punches jay lol, heeseung mentioned grahh, theyre just rlly inlove idk, toxic family kinda, not proofread
sypnosis: Y/N L/N, a lively aristocrat, finds herself in love with Sim Jaeyun, the estate gardener. Their secret romance defies societal expectations, jeopardizing both their reputations and family honor as they navigate the treacherous waters and the consequences of cross-class affection.
or in short, wherein Sim Jaeyun finds himself longing for the infamous nobleman's daughter the longer he works for their estate.
notes, word count is like 5.7k haha, i wrote this for 3 nights, anyway i rlly loved writing this! if you like it to, please reblog~
The day you were welcomed to the world, your mother has always told you how your grandmother washed your face with water that had rose petals in the basin with it. She had said that doing so will grant the baby beauty.
You weren't sure if that moment had any connection on your adoration to roses now that you've grown to a fine young lady. Usually, a smile would be adorned on your face whilst you stood admiring the roses in one corner of the huge garden you and your grandmother had built over the years, if it weren't for the fact that the roses were wilting now.
Their usual bold red color has gone darker and its petals drier. You could revive them, obviously, but you didn't know how. Your grandmother died three days ago and throughout your life, she had taught you everything you needed to know in gardening.
Now it looks like she forgot to teach you one thing. She was always quite forgetful.
Two warm hands placed themselves on your shoulders.
"Do not fret, my darling. Your father has already secured the assistance of someone who will restore your roses to their former beauty." came the voice of your mother as she squeezed your shoulders reassuringly.
You stood unresponsive before turning to look at her.
"Thank you, mama."
"He shall arrive by noon tomorrow. Let us return to the manor; it is growing rather dark."
With that, you turned your back on the wilting roses and walked away. Atleast, by tomorrow, one of the two things you loved and lost will be brought back. Hopefully.
-
"You got a job with the L/N's? That's huge! What will you be doing there?" Sunghoon, a friend of Jake's questioned eagerly.
Jake patted his trousers, removing unwanted dust that had clung on to him whilst he prepared everything he needed.
"Well, just some gardening, of course. That's what I was told. That's what I do for a living." he answered briefly before putting his sling bag over his shoulder.
Sunghoon scrunched up his nose, "That sounds a bit dull, even though I've expected it, but good luck! I'll see you around!" he says as he pushes his friend by the shoulders and jogging away from him.
Jake huffed and began his journey to the L/N Manor.
The walk was rather peaceful, greeting acquaintances he meets along the way and helping some when he notices they need one.
Looking up the sky, Jake came to an abrupt stop before coming up in a sprint.
He said he was to arrive at noon, and noon was approaching much sooner than he planned. He supposes it was because of the constant helping hand he had lent towards the people he came across with.
He should really stop doing those at the wrong time.
-
"You are tardy, young man. You should consider yourself fortunate that only Lady Y/N is waiting. The Earl and Countess are presently engaged in their duties elsewhere." An elderly housemaid nags, tutting disapprovingly at the sweating young man infront of her.
"I'm terribly sorry, really am." Jake spoked in between pants, he saw the housemaid's glare soften before he was urged inside as the elderly woman led him towards the back of the manor.
Jake could only gape at the size of the house, oh what he would do to live in a house like this.
His mouth only widened at the sight of a large garden where he was now walking into, the elderly woman still leading him somewhere secluded.
He spun around but continued to walk, admiring the scenery infront of him. There were various of colorful flowers like tulips, pansies, marigolds, lilies.. everything. He could spot a greenhouse in one corner, a pond in another, a fountain in the middle, and a maiden standing over a bush of.. wilting roses.
Guess he found his job.
"Lady Y/N, the gardener has arrived. Should you require any assistance, please do not hesitate to summon me."
And with that, Jake was left alone with the Earl's only child and daughter.
"Pray excuse my tardiness, m'lady. I was detained by.. an unforeseen matter." he spoke softly.
Turning around, you were met with big brown eyes staring right back at you. If you had noticed the way they widened, you didn't mention it.
Eyeing him up and down, you studied his appearance. He was dressed in beige trousers and a white linen shirt with its sleeves folded up until his elbows, he wore a brown sling bag and a small black beret sat on top of his rather long black hair.
Father would've nagged him for that.
"M'lady?" his voice was rather attractive, you noted. It suited his face.
"Pardon me, I was under the impression that you would be somewhat older." you sent a small smile as he scratched his nape.
"Ah well-"
"Please don't misunderstand me! I am delighted to be speaking with someone of my own age... You are of similar age to myself, aren't you?"
Jake broke into a wide smile, biting his lower lip as he chuckled. The heavy load on his shoulders seemed to have been lifted. You weren't like those.. pardon him for saying, brats, that he had worked with from the past.
So far in his life, Jake has encountered two noble families (your family being the third), considered that he was the grandson of the greatest gardener in town.
The Baron's twin daughters spoke in this shrilly voice as they constantly nagged him for cutting the stems of their flowers when he had only wanted the plant to absorb more water properly. He had been sacked the same day.
Meanwhile the Viscount's daughter only flirted with him any chance she got and when he had rejected her politely and respectfully (he didn't want to lose his job and ruin someone's reputation, also because he wasn't intrested), she bawled and at the end, he was fired and was forever banned from their manor. Not like he's planning on coming back anyway.
So seeing you with pure kindness and innocence written all over you, gave him a bit of hope that you'd be better than the previous daughters he had dealt with.
"Yes, I am, m'lady. I am Sim Jaeyun. Please, do call me Jake." he bowed his head lightly before stepping forward, now standing side by side with the pretty maiden. He eyed the roses, some were dying, some were already dead.
"My grandmother passed away four days ago; though you may already be aware of this. She and I planted these roses together, but since her funeral, they have begun to wilt. I am at a loss as to how to restore their former beauty." you spoke softly, brows furrowing as you crouched down and caressed one rose that was still of color and beauty.
Looking up at the attractive boy, you sent him a genuine smile.
"I do hope you can assist me, Sim Jaeyun."
"Do not worry, my lady; it would be the last thing I'd do."
-
The next day, despite the usual bright sky being covered with dark rain clouds, Jake had a small smile on his face as he began his journey to the manor he'd be working in for the next following months.
Not only was he going to take care of the roses, but he was also offered the job of maintaining the garden's beauty, regardless of its heavy responsibility he did not think twice in accepting the offer, maybe it was the pay that made him accept or maybe it was the simple love he had for what he does.
Upon arriving at the manor, he was immediately led towards the garden by a different maid this time.
Jake skipped over towards the rose bushes and began to do his work. He had noticed that you were nowhere to be found, he had atleast expected to see you hanging around in the garden.
An hour has passed and he was now tending on the marigolds, admiring its beauty and sprinkling it with some water.
He felt a drop of water on his eyebrow, then another on his nose. It was starting to rain.
Jake didn't know why his first thought was to run to the greenhouse when he was much more closer to the manor's backdoor. He followed his gut, and now here he was, stuck in the greenhouse as the rain echoed inside.
"Mr. Sim?"
Turning around abruptly, he was met with your wide eyes staring back at him.
You were wearing a custom made dress in a shade of light blue, it fell down until your shoes weren't visible. Your hands were covered in dirt as you stood infront of the tomatoes.
"Lady Y/N! How delightful to see you!" he greeted with a smile before it fell as realization dawned to him.
He walked closer to you, his eyes scanning your form. Now that he was closer, he could see some stains of dirt littered on your neck down to your clothed torso.
"May I ask what brings you here?" he questioned, looking at the tomatoes on a basket before averting his gaze back to you.
"I was simply attending to the tomatoes. This is how I pass the time, as there is little to occupy me within the estate." your soft voice could kill millions, he thinks to himself. He takes a handkerchief from his trousers and held out his hand.
"Do you mind if I..?" you stared at his hand and shook your head, bringing your softer hands against his.
He began wiping away the dirt, trying his hardest not to look up and stare at your face. Jake knew that you were fairly beautiful, but he was already crossing the line of holding your hand and tending to you.
For goodness sake, you have your own personal maid who's job is to do this!
"I did not anticipate the rain today; I came here straight away upon finishing my breakfast." you had explained, looking up at the clear ceiling of the structure and watching the rain drops fall.
Jake dropped your now clean hands gently before walking towards his discarded bag on the ground. "Here, I have a coat in my bag. You may drape it over your head and return to the warmth of the estate. It will be far more comfortable there than it is out here."
"And what of yourself? You're not intending to remain out here, are you?" Jake gaped at you, his mouth opening and closing as he swallowed down the lump in his throat.
Having no response from the young man, you added, "I shall remain here with you until the rain lessens somewhat."
"But-"
"I insist."
So with that, the two of you stayed together sharing stories of your own experiences, sharing laughter, and slowly building a bond.
As the rain slowly calmed down, Jake had thrown his jacket over your head and led you out the greenhouse. His arms were still holding on to the jacket to keep it from slipping off whilst your head was practically shoved in his chest.
The sounds of your laughter were silenced with the pitter patter of the rain as you two ran back to the manor.
"Lady Y/N! I was searching for you—oh dear! We must get you cleaned up before your mother arrives and sees you in such a state. Come along, quickly!" your personal maid whines as she nearly rips you away from the gardener's arm, not sparing him a glance as she took the jacket off your head and on to the floor.
You spared him a glance over the shoulder of your maid, smiling and mouthing 'thank you.' Jake was quite sure that you've brought his heart with you as you walked away from him.
That day, you learned that Jake had a deep connection to nature and craftsmanship. He was undeniably refreshing compared to the suitors your mother would force you to spend time with. He was authentic, extremely kind, and he longed for a life defined by passion and purpose rather than societal expectations. Just like you did.
-
For the past few days, Jake had been visiting the manor to tend on the roses and everything else. Everytime he did, you'd be sitting somewhere far yet near enough to see what he's doing. He would never admit it, but everytime he woke up in the morning, all he'd ever think about is seeing you.
If you weren't in the greenhouse, you'd sometimes be under a tree and have a book with you, maybe a tea, or your white feline friend, and sometimes it was just you and your pretty face.
Occasionally you'd even approach him and crouch down beside him, just watching the way his hands work on your precious roses. Maybe even share hidden caresses of each others hands as you two worked together on some days.
Today was one of those days.
"Do you see what I have done?" Jake spoke, gesturing over the basket filled with dead roses and leaves. "I have removed the roses that were wilting, dying, and drying. These were afflicted with diseases that might spread and endanger the remaining roses."
"I have also removed some of the weeds growing around the bush, as they might be competing for the nutrients that should be going to the roses themselves."
He only received an understanding nod and a small smile in return. During these moments, he had to hide the shake in his hands, not because of fear. He was overwhelmed, you were too pretty to be true.
Pausing in his words, he stared at your face. Memorizing each feature.
Then suddenly, he found his fingers tucking a fallen strand of hair behind your ear. You merely stared back at him, letting him caress you.
He was developing a crush on someone he knows he shouldn't. He'd be banished not only of this job, but possibly his house too. He knows it's impossible for an Earl to do that, but he'd be able to financially ruin him and his grandfather that would cause them to leave their warm abode.
As much as he wanted to pursue you, he could not, and he (somewhat) already accepts that. So, he'd stand firm and do the job he's told to do.
"It appears that you two are finding much pleasure in each other's company."
You immediately stood up and dusted your dress to get rid of the dirt that had clung to it.
"Mama.. I was only-"
"Inside the manor, Y/N, we have guests coming, and your father is seeking your presence." she cooly said, her cold eyes staring straight at the gardener who was now also standing.
The girl simply nodded, sparing a quick glance at Jake before walking back to the manor.
"Your ladyship." Jake bowed his head before meeting the eyes of the tall woman.
"I trust you have not forgotten your duties. You are to attend solely to the flowers; becoming familiar with my daughter is not part of what my husband has entrusted you with, am I correct?" she raised an intimidating brow at him.
"You are absolutely correct, my lady. I assure you it will not happen again."
"I hope so, especially now that she is to be wed to the Duke's son. You are dismissed for today. Good day." and before he could even answer, the tall woman turned her back on him and walked away.
Jake felt his world come crashing down.
As he picked up his gardening tools he couldn't stop the tightening in his chest, he knew he had no right to feel this way. He was a gardener, you were an Earl's daughter.
You'd be better off with the son of a Duke. You won't gain anything from marrying a gardener, someone who cuts plants for a living and lives off of minimum wage.
Closing his eyes briefly, he exhaled and slapped himself in the chest in an attempt to get rid of its tightness.
As he said, he'd stand firm and do the job he's told to do.
And that is to tend to the roses, and not become familiar with the only daughter of the L/N's.
-
"What has you feeling so low?"
"God! I didn't expect to see you awake gramps." the sudden voice of his grandfather surprised him so much that he had accidentally slammed the door of their home so loud.
"And I'm not feeling low, merely fatigued, that's all." he added and dropped his bag on a stool before taking a bread from their kitchen.
His grandfather squinted his eyes at him before clearing his throat, he opened his newspaper before reading out loud.
"Lee Heeseung, son of the Duke, is reported to be betrothed to Y/N L/N, daughter of the Earl."
"Gramps, you should go to bed. You need to rest; why are you out here?"
His grandfather merely tutts, shaking his head and sighing. "Don't tell me you have become enamored with the daughter of an Earl?" his strained voice grumbled out.
Jake clicks his tongue and rubbed the bridge of his nose. "I have not. What made you come up with that conclusion?" he asks, now looking at his grandfather.
"Don't look at me like that." he muttered.
"Like what, son?"
"Like you understand how I feel, as though you pity me." he replied, his eyes turning glassy.
His grandfather sighed, taking a sip of his coffee and gasping loudly after. "I would prefer not to have my grandson's head presented to me by the Earl one random morning. You ought to know better, Jaeyun."
Jake huffed in annoyance, chewing aggressively on his bread.
"I cannot help it! And it is not as though I could do anything about it. She is.. after all, to be wed soon." he spoke with his mouth full of bread.
"To a duke's son too.." he silently added before walking away and to his room.
The old man sighs, taking an old photograph he always kept on his chest pocket. He stared longingly at the girl in the picture who was smiling widely, a rose tucked on her ear.
Jake covered himself in his thin blanket, staring at the ceiling. There was no denying that he held affection towards you. You, who was a free spirit that was a stark contrast to the rigid expectations of the society and constraints he had experienced throughout his life. He had never met anyone like you—curious, admiration towards anything, and your willingness to engage with him and his work.
You made him feel seen and valued, something he rarely feels in the society you both lived in. You didn't care about money, you weren't disgusted by him when he touched you, you didn't push him away.
He loved you dearly, yet it was nearly impossible to have you as his.
-
"Papa, I do not wish to marry just yet, I beg you!" you exclaimed as soon as the Duke and his son has left your estate.
Your father merely glared at you over his shoulder before completely facing you. "You will marry! You should be grateful that they insisted on coming here rather than us having to go their estate!"
"But—why? You and Mama promised you would grant me a few more years after my 18th before arranging my marriage!" you argued, nearly in tears.
From behind you, your mother's nose flared in rage.
"Do not think we are unaware of your growing relationship with the gardener! My God, what would people say?" you turned to her, your eyes wide in shock.
"Wha-"
"Everyone in this estate has been observing you both and has not failed to tell us when something prosperous happens between you both. You are marrying the Duke's son, and that is final." your father walks away, leaving you with tear stained eyes as you hear your mother's heels click as she too, walks away.
Ever since that day, Lee Heeseung has begun to make his presence known at L/N Manor by visiting frequently.
Jake still had to work, your mother insisted that he shouldn't be sacked for her own reasons. Although, Jake already knew that she only wanted to rub the reality that he wouldn't be picked over a Duke's son in his face.
Everyday he came over to do his duties on the garden, you'd still be there, but this time with a tall handsome man beside you with your arms linked with him.
You'd still be sat under the tree, but there would be a man beside you with his arm around your waist. He'd still see you in the greenhouse, but instead of gushing over the fruits you've planted recently to him, it would be towards Lee Heeseung now.
Despite all of that, he continued his work until the roses he was tending to were now healthy and beautiful again. His work was now done, he had no more reason to keep coming back on the estate's garden.
Today was his last day. Although the Earl disliked him a lot now, he was paid such high amount for his last paycheck.
Maybe this was their way on telling him to move on and never show his face to them again.
As he was bidding his farewell to the beautiful garden, he was startled by a voice calling out his name. The voice so soft and familiar, his heart beat increased immediately at the sound.
"My lady.. If they were to see me- if they were to witness you conversing with me.." he looked over your shoulder as he stuttered, his heart beating too fast for it to be healthy.
"Come along with me."
"But-"
"I order you." Jake's eyes widened before he nodded.
He followed you, looking over his shoulder in nervousness. He was glad to talk to you and be in your presence once more without the Duke's son beside you, despite the risk of being seen with you- he'd gladly take any consequences (not really) just so he could see you for maybe the last time ever.
You led him inside the greenhouse and when the door closed, you turned to face him. Your former stern face was now worried and in sorrow.
"In three days' time, they are to host my engagement ball with Lord Heeseung." Jake furrowed his brows, he didn't want to know any of this. He had hoped you ordered him to come with you to bid your farewell or throw him a hug.
"My lady, you are aware that it would be most unsuitable for you to extend an invitation to me." he whispered as if someone other than you would hear.
"I am aware, let me talk." he shut his mouth real quick.
"I have little affection for this marriage; I intend to escape on the day of my engagement party." Jake wanted to jump in the air and scream in joy when the words processed in his mind.
He held back and tilted his head, looking to his side. "I understand, my lady, but surely you recognize that it is impossible? With everyone in attendance at the party, there is no way..."
Your frustrated sigh made cut him off. He gulped, he could already see where this is leading, and he doesn't know whether he's up to it or not.
"That is where you come in," you say, stepping closer. "I beg for your help. I am sure.. you would like to, would you not?" his face softened as he felt the warmth of your hand upon his cheek.
He inhaled sharply, his hand coming on top of yours as he too stepped closer. "I do, trust me. However, do not expect success from me."
The nod you responded with filled him with warmth all over, and with his heart controlling him, he pressed his lips to yours. Your lips was what he expected it to feel, soft and warm against him as you both moved in sync. It was full of passion, love, and comfort.
Pulling away, he rested his forehead against yours, his hands now on your waist.
"In three days time." he whispered.
"I shall wait for you." and just like he did a while ago, you pressed your lips against his once again.
-
Sunghoon stared at his friend as if he had grew two more heads. He was crouched down on the ground with Samuel (their small pig) who was drinking his water on a steel bowl beside him.
Meanwhile, Jongseong rested his dirty hands on his hips, looking at Jake with an amused expression.
"Allow me to reiterate your words," Jongseong said with amusement. "You wish for us to assist you in arranging Lady Y/N's escape in two days' time? How amusing." He scoffed and laughed.
Jake groaned, kicking the grass on his feet. "Do not jest! I am incredibly serious." he furrowed his brows.
"You can not be serious. And then what? She escapes and we face imprisonment? Are you listening to yourself, Jaeyun?" Sunghoon finally spoke, standing up from his position.
“I assure you, I am quite earnest in this matter,” Jake said with a gentle, resolute tone, his voice betraying his weariness at trying to persuade his friends. “I am relocating at her behest, and I would go to any lengths for her.”
He paused, casting a resigned glance at his friends. "Yesterday, we shared a kiss. Is that not sufficient evidence of my intent? Must I then demonstrate my affection before you in a more explicit manner?”
The three of them fell into a moment of silence. Sunghoon, visibly distressed, ran his fingers through his hair, while Jongseong, deep in thought, chewed his lip in quiet deliberation.
Sunghoon scratched his head aggressively before speaking. “Doesn’t your grandfather have a secluded cabin tucked away somewhere? You could take her there—no one would be able to find you.”
Jake looked up, his eyes lightening up before shaking his head.
“Yes, he does, but getting there requires a thirty-minute boat ride. Unfortunately, we no longer have a boat, which is why gramps no longer insists we live there.” he responded, obviously crestfallen.
Sunghoon looked down, muttering a small 'oh.'
Jongseong looked at both his companions, inhaling and looked at Jake straight in the eye. “Actually.. my late father had a boat. Mother no longer values it, so you could make use of it.”
Jake smiled widely, thanking both of his friends. Now all he had to do was tell his grandfather.. and make sure your escape would be successful.
To say that he was nervous was an understatement, he knew that the moment he utters the words "help" and "escape" his grandfather would deny immediately.
So here he was, eating supper across his grandfather who looked like he was getting chased down by a bear with how fast he was devouring his food.
"Whacha staring at for kid? Eat." the old man grumbled, pointing at his untouched plate.
Jake cleared his throat, “Gramps, the cabin you have—would it still be livable?”
His grandfather looked up from his plate, raising a brow. "'Course it is, I expect so. Left that ruddy cabin clean before I had to move here to take care of 'ya." the younger merely nodded.
The old man leaned back on his chair, exhaling. "What are you planning on, Jaeyun?" he asked, squinting his eyes at him.
"Lady Y/N requires my assistance in.. escaping her engagement ball in two days' time." Jake whispered, playing with the soup infront of him. He shut his eyes, ready for a lecture when he heard the seat of his grandfather moan against the floorboard.
Jake sighed in defeat. Even though he would have Jongseong's father's boat, he would not have the key to the cabin. It's not like he could keep the lady cold outside or in a middle of a river.
Before he could stand up and retreat to his room to come up with a new plan, his grandfather dragged a chair beside his and sat down. The older man's wrinkle filled hands dropped a key and an old photograph on the table.
“I admire your bravery, son. Had I been less cowardly, I would have done exactly as you have in the past.” he looked at his grandfather, who merely gestured towards the photograph.
Jake's nimble fingers took the old and worn out paper, staring directly at a woman who had a rose tucked in her ear. She looked oddly like the woman who has his heart in her hand, he thinks.
"That is Adelaide L/N. Lady Y/N's late grandmother." his grandfather whispered longingly, smiling slightly at the sight.
“What we had… was something society would not view in a favorable light. Thus, I let her go, despite her pleas for me to take her far away so we could live the life we desired together.” His grandfather sighed deeply. “I was overwhelmed by fear of scandal, and it overshadowed my love for her.”
"Gramps.."
“So, I will not tell you to stop. But I will urge you to be cautious. I have told you once, and I tell you again: I do not wish to receive my grandson’s head on a platter,” the old man said sternly, then patted his grandson’s shoulder and gave him a firm side hug.
Smiling gratefully at his grandfather, he leaned on to his side as he looked at the photograph still before taking the key.
Now all he had to do was take you away.
-
The day has finally come and so far it was going pleasantly, for your parents atleast. Everyone in the ballroom was dressed beautifully, congratulating you and Heeseung for your engagement. They were all convinced that you both were inlove, which was far from the truth.
You had been at it for hours, greeting guests and dancing. You had started to lose hope, maybe Jake realized that what you asked for was incredibly stupid and risky.
Just as you had fully lost all your hope, a sudden shout from outside took everyone's attention. It continued until everyone was now crowding over the entrance of the venue.
You gulped, it was now or never.
"Excuse me." you had tried to pry Heeseung's arm away from you, but he held on to you tightly. With furrowed brows, he looked down on you. "Where are you going? It is dangerous to go wandering around alone."
"I truly only wish to retire to the powder room."
"If you insist. Please, be careful." you only nodded as he finally let you go. You practically rushed to the comfort room, gathering your dress in your hands so that you would not trip.
Yesterday, you received a letter from Jake. Explaining what he had planned for today. You could nearly recite the whole letter if someone would ask you to for the many times you've reread the letter.
Dear Y/N,
Everything is set. I will not disclose in this letter what I have planned entirely in case this letter falls on the wrong hands. On the day of your engagement ball, my friends will create a disturbance outside the venue to draw attention away from you so that you could flee without anyone's watchful eyes. I understand your concerns, but please know I did not coerce them into this; they insisted, saying it was something they had long wished to do. Should this distraction fail, simply excuse yourself to the powder room, but enter the men's; there is a large window there through which I will be waiting. Once you are out, we will escape together to a place where no one will find us.
I know it is not yet appropriate to express such sentiments, but I must tell you in advance. If all fails, remember that my love for you is unwavering, I would give up my life for you if I had to. I am deeply grateful for your trust.
Yours forever,
SJY
Entering the men’s powder room, you felt a sense of relief when you found it empty; any unwanted company would have made the situation quite awkward.
Just as he said in the letter, there was a huge window and through it, you could see Jake who's worried eyes widened at the sight of you. You rushed towards the pane of glass, unlocking it and sliding it up.
Jake helped you climb over the window, and once your feet touched the ground the door of the powder room burst open. There stood Lee Heeseung, his brows furrowed as he looked between you and Jake.
Grabbing Jake's hand, you made a run for it as you both ignored Heeseung scream for you to come back.
You both continued to run, repeatedly tripping and looking over your shoulders every few seconds. The grip you had on each other was tight, no intentions on letting go.
Finally, you reached a huge lake and a figure waved you both over. “It’s all set up. You two should hurry; Sunghoon just got escorted out. The fool actually punched me in the face,” said the taller man, gesturing towards the boat and indicating his eye, which was beginning to swell with a bruise.
Jake nodded, patting the unfamiliar man's shoulder before guiding you to sit on the boat. He boarded with you and pushed the boat away with a canoe. Before the boat could go far, Jake spoke.
“Thank you so much, Jongseong, really. Please tell Sunghoon that I owe him my life!” he shouted, which earned a stern glare from Jongseong.
He merely sent a thumbs up at his friend and a salute to you before running away to avoid getting you two caught.
Jake now faced you, a smile on his face.
“I scarcely believed you would truly follow through.” you whispered, bringing your knees closer to your chest. The boy across you chuckled, biting his lip, overwhelmed with nerves and joy.
“I told you, I would do anything for you. Even if its the last thing I’d ever do."
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Propaganda
María Félix (Doña Barbara, La Mujer sin Alma, Rio Escondido, La Cucaracha)—Maria Felix is still possibly the most well-known Mexican film actress. She turned down multiple-roles in Hollywood and a contract with Metro-Goldwyn-Meyer in order to take roles in Mexico, France, and Argentine throughout the 1940s, 50s, 60s. She was so famous and so respected as a dramatic actress that she inspired painters, novelists and poets in their own art--she was painted by Diego Rivera, Jose Orozco, Bridget Tichenor. The novelist Carlos Fuentes used her as inspiration for his protagonist in Zona Sagrada. She inspired an entire collection by Hermes. In the late 1960s Cartier made her a custom collection of reptile themed jewels. She considered herself to be powerful challenger of morality and femininity in Mexico & worldwide--she routinely played powerful women in roles with challenging moral choices and free sexuality. But even still, years after he death, she is celebrated with Google Doodles, and appearances in the movie Coco, and holidays for the anniversary of her death.
Vyjayanthimala (Madhumati, Amrapali, Sangam, Devdas)—Strong contender for /the/ OG queen of Indian cinema for over 2 straight decades. Her Filmfare Lifetime Achievement Award came not a moment too soon with 62 movies under her belt. Singer, dancer, actor, and also has the most expressive set of eyes known to man
This is round 5 of the tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Vyjayanthimala:
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María Félix:
She's Thee Hot Vintage Movie Woman of México. She's absolutely gorgeous and always looks like she's about to step on you. you WILL be thankful if she does.
"María Félix is a woman -- such a woman -- with the audacity to defy the ideas machos have constructed of what a woman should be. She's free like the wind, she disperses the clouds, or illuminates them with the lightning flash of her gaze." - Octavio Paz
María Félix is one of the most iconic actresses of the Golden Era of Mexican Cinema. La Doña, as she was lovingly nicknamed, only had one son, and when her first marriage ended in divorce her ex-husband stole her only child, so she vowed that one day she’d be more influential than her ex and she’d get her son back. AND SHE DID! María Félix rejected a Hollywood acting role to start her acting career in Mexico on her own terms with El Peñón de las Ánimas (The Rock of Souls) starring alongside actor, and future third husband, Jorge Negrete. She quickly rose to incredible heights both in Mexico and abroad, later on rejecting a Hollywood starring role (Duel in the Sun) as she was already committed to the movie Enamorada at the planned filming time. Of this snubbing she said, quote: “I will never regret saying no to Hollywood, because my career in Europe was focused in [high] quality cinema. [My] india* roles are made in my country, and [my] queen roles are abroad.” (Translator notes: here the “india” role means interpreting a lower-class Mexican woman, usually thought of indigenous/native/mixed descent —which she had interpreted and reinvented throughout her acting career in Mexico— and what abroad was typically considered the Mexican woman stereotype, with the braids, long simple skirts, and sandals. This also references the expectation of her possibly helping Hollywood in perpetuating this stereotype for American audiences that lack the cultural and historical contexts of this type of role which would undermine her own efforts against this type of Mexican stereotypes while working in Europe) She was considered one of the most beautiful women in the world of her time by international magazines like Life, París Match, and Esquire, and was a muse to a vast number of songwriters (including her second husband Agustin Lara,), artists, designers, and writers. Muralist Diego Rivera described her as “a monstrously perfect being. She’s an exemplary being that drives all other human beings to put as much effort as possible to be like her”. Playwriter Jean Cocteau, who worked with her in the Spanish film La Corona Negra (The Black Crown) said the following about her, “María, that woman is so beautiful it hurts”. Haute Couture houses like Dior, Givenchy, Yves Saint Laurent, Balenciaga, Hérmes, among others, designed and dressed her throughout her life. She died on her birthday, April 8, 2002, at 88 years old, in Mexico City. She was celebrated by a parade from her home to the Fine Arts Palace in the the city’s Historic Downtown, where a multitude of people paid tribute to her. Her filmography includes 47 movies from 1942 until 1970, and only two television acting roles in 1970. She has 2 music albums, one recorded with her second husband, Agustín Lara, in 1964 titled La Voz de María y la inspiración de Agustín «The voice of María and the inspiration of Augustín», and her solo album Enamorada «In Love» in 1998. Her bespoke Cartier jewelry is exhibited alongside Elizabeth Taylor’s, Grace Kelly’s and Gloria Swanson’s. In 2018, Film Director Martin Scorsese presented a restored and remastered version of her film Enamorada in the Cannes Classics section of the Cannes Festival and Google dedicated a doodle for her 104th birthday. On august 2023 Barbie added her doll to the Tribute Collection.
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