#although there are people much more qualified than me who already have

[boredmadamoiselle]

You don't even have to ask

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader

Synopsis: After the qualifying at the Grand Prix of Monaco, you look for Charles to give him comfort... and in search of his forgiveness.

Warnings: Fluff. Angst. English isn't my first language, so it probably contains some mistakes. I tried my best but if you want to correct or help me, you are welcome.

Author's note: Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is always appreciated and is important for me. If you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to write them and I will take into consideration. 

The sun had already set and the moon had taken its place lighting up the dark sky above you. 

As you approached the port, you could hear the music from downtown getting more and more distant. Absolute silence reigned in the port, it was just you, the sea and the many boats docked. Everyone, except one person, was celebrating. And you knew, or at least you hoped, you’d find him on his yacht. Away from everyone and everything, probably lost in his thoughts and thinking back to what had happened just a few hours ago. 

Once again, in fact, Ferrari and Charles’ team had screwed his race, jeopardizing his victory and proving to be incompetent. Although they were the ones who made the mistake, Charles would pay once again the consequences, just when for the first time he had had the chance to get on the podium in Monaco. That was the thing that pissed you off more. 

Even though you were on a break, you couldn’t help it but support him. Because in the end and despite everything that had happened between you in the last months, you loved him. You still wanted him to win and be happy. But instead, he was struggling once again. 

Charles ran to win every race but Monaco was different, it was special. It was his home race, the place where he had grown up and lived. 

He loved Monaco, its people and he wanted them to love him equally, to make them proud. That was the reason why he wanted to win… for them. The thing was that they already loved him… or at least you did. You loved him more than everything else and seeing him sad broke your heart. After you had tried to call him and had received no answer, you had decided to go find him and see for yourself how he was. You wanted to comfort him, but you were also dying to see him and have him a few meters from you after weeks away, to hold him in your arms. You would have told him that everything would be fine. Even among you. 

The break had been your idea and Charles, even though he didn’t like the idea, had agreed. He loved you and he knew that being in a relationship with him, always under the spotlight wasn’t easy, that sometimes it could be a little suffocating. So, he had let you go with the hope that you would return to him sooner or later. You were now as you had thought enough. Being with him wasn’t easy for sure but being without him was even more difficult. Those weeks apart from him had strengthened your feelings for Charles. 

You needed him just like he needed you. Those weeks, those days must not have been easy for Charles and your distance must have made everything worse. Part of you felt guilty for not being there for him. 

His yacht was for both of you your second home, your refuge. Whenever he could, Charles would come and take the yacht out to sea. As he wanted to stay alone with his thoughts during those moments, he almost never allowed anyone to accompany him, except you. You were always welcome. Would you have been even now? Did he still love you? These questions had been nagging you all along the way. 

You got on the yacht and it didn't take you long before you saw him. He was standing with his back to you and looking up at the sky. You were approaching him when the sound of his voice instantly paralyzed you. 

“I said I wanted to be alone.” 

You could hear the sadness dripping and it broke your heart. You wanted to run to him but you were unable to move. Would he have appreciated that? Were you welcome? As he had his back still turned, he had no idea it was you.

“Does that apply to me too?”, you asked, scared of being rejected. Your voice made Charles instantly turn around as he realized who you were. 

His face immediately lit up upon seeing you just a few feet away from him. But you could still see the sadness in his eyes. 

“Y/N…”

“I just wanted to see how you were… you know after everything that happened, but if you prefer being alone, I can…” 

He didn't let you finish the sentence. “You know there is always room for you on board”, he said smiling. 

You smiled back. You were tired of that distance between you, it was time to fill it. You approached him filling the gap between you. Now you were inches away from him. 

“Even in your arms? Because I think a hug would do you so much good”, you said.

Without answering, he reached out to you and wrapped his strong arms around your shoulders and back. 

“You don’t even have to ask”, he whispered burying his head into your neck. 

You tucked your head into the curve of his neck and wrapped your arms around his waist. The contact with his body sent a shiver through you. It was like the air was taken from you as you melted onto him and your eyes began to fill with tears. You could feel he was crying too as a slight wetness was soaking your blouse. 

Charles sighed as he felt immediately lighter between your arms, relieved. After all those weeks of being away from you, Charles felt he could start breathing again. Without you by his side and with all the pressure leading up to his home race, he had felt like he had been drowning for the past weeks. You were his anchor, the one who kept him afloat when everything else was failing. You had arrived just in time to rescue him. 

You hugged in silence for a few minutes. Words weren't necessary, at least not now. Your hearts beating wildly, in unison with each other spoke for you. That was enough.  

After a while, you broke the silence. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really, not now that you are here with me… That's all that matters now, I don’t care about anything else”, he whispered.  “But there is one thing you could actually do for me.”

You pulled away gently and looked into his eyes, your faces inches apart, noses touching and his hands still on your hips. 

“What is it?” You were feeling a mixture of curiosity and fear as you were waiting for him to talk. 

Charles placed his forehead on yours. 

“Would you stay here with me tonight?”

You closed your eyes and sighed, part of you feeling relieved at his words. 

“You don’t even have to ask”, you simply said. 

His lips curved into a smile satisfied by your answer. His hands cupped your cheeks, as he slowly leaned in and placed his lip onto yours. Your spare hand gripped his shirt gently, pulling him closer until you were pressed against each other. You needed to feel him. But first you needed to do something else. 

With your hands on his chest, you took a step behind leaving Charles confused and visibly worried. 

“I’m sorry, Charles, for everything. I should have been there for you, especially knowing how difficult it would have been today…”

He took your hands in his and placed his forehead on yours. “Shhhh… You are here now and that’s enough for me. Tomorrow, if we want, we will talk about us but for now I just want to hold you in my arms. No racing, just us. Me and you. Okay?” 

You nodded and let out a small whisper “I think it’s perfect”.  And you kissed again.

 

A few weeks later you were back on the yacht, Charles had taken you on a date.  

Between Charles’ arms and rocked by the sound of crashing waves, you were staring at the starry sky and enjoying the silence away from the city.

“I’ll be right back”, he whispered into your ear and pulled gently apart from you. 

You kept looking at the starry sky when a streak of light crossed the sky and then immediately vanished. 

“Look, Charles! A falling star!”, you screamed and turned around to face Charles. 

You were speechless and couldn’t believe your eyes. 

Charles was in front of you... on his knees. He was holding a small velvet box with a diamond-set ring inside. And it wasn't just any ring but the one that Hervé, Charles' father, had given to his mother when he had proposed to her.

You put a hand in front of your mouth trying to hold back the emotion and the tears. 

“Charles…” 

“Y/n, a few weeks ago I asked you if you would stay with me for the night. Now I ask you, would you stay with me a little longer?”

Tears streamed down your face as you weren't able to hold them back anymore.

“Forever, Charles”, you finally said. “You don’t even have to ask.” 

[maluceh]

Top Lily variants? I've seen so many "[random hp character #10] variants" online, with various degrees of accuracy, but I don't remember ever seeing one for lily. Your Jily ones were so accurate (the only pair I'm not super familiar with was peraltiago, and I know enough about them to know they fit), so I was curious if you had any just for her as a character. You basically wrote the Lily (& Jily) gospel so I trust your takes <3

*cracks knuckles*

I'm about to give you a full detailed dive into Lily's character and personality that you absolutely did not ask for. I’d have to say the ones I had already picked for Jily variants (since I always look for couples where they both have James/Lily’s personalities). I’ll try and make it to ten but there’s only so many characters that truly fit Lily for me. Mostly the characters that I see as Lily, are sarcastic, witty, overachievers, intelligent, charismatic, and snarky…

Amy Santiago (Brooklyn Nine-Nine)

I know you said you haven’t seen it, but TRUST ME. Amy is a control freak know it all, she finds comfort in order and structure. Although she’s a bit more uptight than I imagine Lily to be. Her constant need for reassurance and approval from figures of authority is something I can definitely see in Lily. Her relationship with Holt is kinda what I imagine Lily to be like with Minerva/Alastor. Also, the fact that she is deeply loyal (as most characters in this list).

Over the course of the show she loses up a bit, and learns to have more fun and I think this could be applied to Lily in her Hogwarts years. Lily being a muggleborn is a very VERY important part of her character, as well as her morals and political standing with blood purity.

We can draw certain parallels between her and Hermione (overachievers, Head Girls, prefects), you don’t get those badges by simply passing by through school. So from this we can deduce that Lily was an excellent student that focused on exceeding at school, because there’s an extra need to prove herself among not just her teachers but her peers as well. To make them see that she’s just as much magic as they are.

So, like Amy, she's constantly trying to prove that she is smart and qualified (Amy in a field mostly male, Lily in a world mostly pureblood).

Annabeth Chase (Percy Jackson)

Annabeth too is a smart character that wants approval —in this case, from her mother—. She is more arrogant and snarky, a little sharper around the edges, which is so Lily!!

Her upbringing has made her become more guarded with her feelings and who she puts her trust in, also her reluctance to accept Luke’s betrayal. These are things that I see in Lily’s canon descriptions and appearances. From growing up with a sister that does not accept her and being betrayed by her best friend. In canon, after SWM (Snape’s Worst Memory), when Snape camps outside her common room waiting for her to ask her for her forgiveness she says that she has been making excuses on his behalf for a while. A lot of people call Lily a hypocrite for only ending her friendship with Snape after she was personally affected by his views, but personally I think that’s part of what makes her such an interesting character.

She’s at war with herself, not really there or here, having to be in the middle of two worlds that do not fully accept her (Annabeth with her father and Camp Half Blood/ Lily with the muggle and wizarding world). And after losing one of the people connecting her to a place of security (Thalia/Petunia), she refuses to see that the last person connecting her to that safe place is also going to leave her to join a side of the war opposite to hers (Luke/Snape).

Kate Sharma/Sheffield (Bridgerton TV/Books)

Kate is funny, closed off and witty. She rushes to judge people and decide for herself whether they are worthy of her time or not, sometimes without even bothering to actually know them. Sometimes (specifically in the books), she’s so ridiculous and funny, not really forcing herself to fit in societal norms, which is something I can definitely see in Lily.

Also, her on the show with Anthony in S3, is just how I imagine married Jily, just perfect.

Dana Scully (The X Files)

In Dana I see Lily’s fierce loyalty and sense of right and wrong. The hiding of her emotions, and also how determined she is, that even though she wants to believe she doesn’t, not even after seeing hundreds of crazy things happen in front of her, she still clings to her own truth.

Tiana (The Princess and the Frog)/Cinderella (1950)

Tiana and Cinderella remind me of Lily in the sense of a hardworking woman, also really headstrong and married to her own way of thinking. A shell hard to break, because of all the walls she’s put up in order to survive. Like Lily, Tiana doesn’t take kindly to outsiders and people who come off as standoffish (Naveen/James and Sirius), but eventually ends up getting to know them and treasuring them as life companions. And you might think me crazy for adding Cinderella, but her unwavering kindness and optimism in the face of hardship is undoubtedly Lily, she’s not all sunshine and rainbows tho —yes the 1950’s version—, she hates the situation that she’s in and wastes no time (alone with her friends) to complain about it, she bites back and only “behaves” out of survival, she’s nice and warm but also angry and headstrong.

Yoon Jin-myung (Hello, My Twenties)

Here is another hard worker female character that I can’t help but see a little bit of Lily in. Although Jin-myung is much MUCH more shy and introverted than Lily, still, she has a complicated relationship with her family and tries really hard to do a million things at the time, forgetting to care for herself and diving into routines of work/school that are almost self destructive.

Honourable mentions.

Chili (Bluey) Morticia Addams (The Addams Family Values)

Mostly how I imagine Lily as a mom/ her married life (along with Kate too). Morticia might seem like a stretch but aside from her dark interests and aesthetic, she's a loving mom and partner and she puts her family first, she’s also a bit of a freak, like Lily.

Sloane (Ferris Buller’s Day Off) Pam Beesley (The Office)

Only on the prankster side of Lily, more chill and easy going, losing up a bit to have fun with Sirius and James.

[canary-curse-57]

At long last, I would like to present you all with a 2000+ word ramble about

WHY I THINK JIMMY SOLIDARITYGAMING COULD WIN THE LIFE SERIES

This WILL be long, this WILL be rambling, and I WON’T always get info correct, but I’m very passionate about the fact that Jimmy really is a good player, but happens to be an even better content creator (I’ll explain what I mean by this later!)

To start, I will analyze every death of his (although I will be excluding many from Limited Life for time reasons) because I believe that most of them can be categorized as some mix of Bad Luck, Accident, and/or Silly Decision. Then, in a different section, I’ll focus mainly on the Silly Decision deaths/explain why I don’t think he will win even if he could! I’ll also add in a TLDR section at the very end to try and summarize the big points I made. Anyways, let’s get into it!

3RD LIFE:

First death - Dare To Flare - Silly Decision

Ah, Jimmy’s first death. This is one of the Silliest Decisions of all, but it also demonstrates a characteristic of Jimmy’s playstyle that we see very frequently throughout the rest of the series: when presented with a high-risk high-reward situation, he almost always attempts the situation, even if the chance of success is negligible. There was never really that much of a chance to win Dare To Flare without cheating, and others had already died trying, but he still gave it a shot!

Second death - TNT Minecart - Accident/Silly Decision (I can't find yellow so I guess orange will do,,)

Our first multi-category death! To me, this one ultimately feels more like an accident than anything else, due to Jimmy not knowing how exactly TNT minecarts worked at the time, but I also have to qualify it as partly a silly decision because Scott did tell him not to touch it. 

Final death - Arrow - Bad Luck

This is honestly one of the more unlucky deaths for Jimmy across the whole entire life series! Ultimately, being unable to get down the ladder properly is what did him in, and I honestly believe that Jimmy might’ve been able to avoid dying first had he just not gotten unlucky with the timing of the shot/getting down the ladder. Oh, how different things could’ve possibly been,,,,

LAST LIFE:

Before I analyze the deaths for this series, I want to talk about why, to me, this is Jimmy’s best season ever in terms of results!! He was one of 5 people to start the season off with 2 lives, but unlike three of the others, he never gained another life (shoutout Ren, the other one who never gained another life!! I think this was his best season so far too!!!). Sure, he tried stealing one from Martyn, but he didn’t get to keep that one! Every other person (again, except for Ren!) that started yellow died more than 2 times over the course of the series, but not Jimmy!!! He also didn’t have his 1st death until the 6th session!! 13 other players had already died at least once before he did!! He also went to risky places where other people died (the Nether/a bastion where Mumbo died!!) and survived!! So while he had two rough deaths in back to back sessions and still went out first, this still remains his best season in my eyes, and it also is a great representation of the fact that he’s still a good Minecraft player!! He can survive really well when he minimizes Silly Decisions/doesn’t have to deal with bad luck, but minimizing Silly Decisions won’t be a frequent thing for him (more on that later) which is why I think that he could win but probably won’t. 

First death - Explosion - Accident/Bad Luck

While digging the dirt that set off the trap could add a Silly Decision category to this, I won’t be adding it because really, who would expect a random piece of dirt blocking an entrance to be trapped? (Not me, that’s for sure - I probably would’ve done the same thing) Honestly though, I feel like if this was a different type of death, Jimmy might not have gone out first. The explosion absolutely obliterating all of his stuff makes life much more difficult, and definitely impacted his season ending when it did. 

Final death - Fall/Grian - Silly Decision/Accident

The main reason that I categorize this one as a Silly Decision is because technically, Jimmy started it. Out of everyone on the server, Grian feels like the most likely to retaliate against a red, even if all they did was punch him, so it definitely wasn’t a good idea to instigate here. I also qualify it as an Accident because he says it (specifically falling off the edge of the building) was (*insert clip from Evil Anvil song here*). 

DOUBLE LIFE:

Before I start this section, I have something devastating to admit; I’ve never actually watched Double Life (I know, I know!! I’ve been meaning to for so long but just haven’t gotten around to it,,,,) I did go in and watch his deaths, so I at least know how they went down, but everything I know about the rest of this season is from the fandom.

First death - Soulmate - UNCATEGORIZABLE

Now, I know you could technically qualify this as a Bad Luck death, but I really really don’t think it fits at all!! Essentially every person in Double Life died because their soulmate died at some point, so saying that Jimmy just happened to have the Bad Luck to be paired with Tango doesn’t feel right. This death was totally and completely out of his hands, so it becomes the only one to truly not fit into any category. 

Second death - Falling/Hit By Arrow - Silly Decision/Bad Luck

Genuinely how did that arrow manage to hit Jimmy?? Bad Luck for him for sure, but ultimately standing as far over the edge as he was when people are firing up at you is a biiit of a Silly Decision. There’s also even more Bad Luck factored in when it comes to the timing of the whole thing - him and Tango just happened to be enchanting with Scar and Grian when the whole server decided to go after them! Jimmy wasn’t really even the main target here!

Final death - Enderman - Accident/Bad Luck

Ah yes, the Enderman death. I know I’ve said this multiple times already (and I’m sure I’ll say it many more), but this has gotta be one of Jimmy’s most unlucky deaths ever. With the combination of being low on food (so he can’t heal), the shield being about to break, and the tree he hides under not properly blocking the enderman, this was a recipe for disaster from the moment he accidentally looked into its eyes. Definitely a death that’s almost impossible to avoid.

LIMITED LIFE:

While I won’t be going through each and every death Jimmy had during this season (since Oh Boy there were a lot more than 3), I’ll focus on 3 that I want to point to that feel very very important to me!

Digging straight down with Joel - Silly Decision (Doing It For The Bit)

What’s this? A subcategory? Well yes, yes it is! This is a subcategory that we really only see in Limited Life, since people could die much more in that series due to the mechanic. So while this was still a Silly Decision, it was one made for fun and for The Bit! I’ll go into more depth as to why later, but this death is the ultimate example of why Jimmy probably won’t ever actually win a Life Series; he is in it 1000% for the fun!

Falling into trap because Grian pushed a button - Accident/Bad Luck

This is one of those deaths that is just so unlucky for Jimmy! Of course Grian didn’t mean to kill him, making it an Accident, but it really just feels like such Bad Luck overall! He honestly had a lot of these deaths the closer he got to the end of Limited Life; another one that comes to mind is the pufferfish death that happened while he was leaving the Nosy Neighbors’ base. These types of deaths are unfortunately completely unavoidable because they are almost completely unpredictable.

Final death - Falling - Accident/Bad Luck

This death is clearly an Accident, but it’s also an example of Bad Luck because of the placement of the minecart/the fact that he was shifting but seemingly un-shifted at the last second. Really though, this death feels like the world just making sure he died, since he should’ve been out with Etho’s boogie kill. 

SECRET LIFE:

First death - Drowned/Trident - Bad Luck

I’ll be honest, I had to go back and watch this death- but it really was another case of Jimmy just having the worst luck with this game! His health was already SO low (and sure, I could technically qualify this one as a Silly Decision in terms of him deciding to go outside when it was dark out while being so low on hearts, but it doesn’t feel quite right for some reason), & to have a trident drowned just decide to spawn in that area is awful luck! 

Second death - Ender Dragon - Bad Luck/Silly Decision

Ah, the Ender Dragon death. Yet another example of a high-risk potentially-high-reward situation that Jimmy went into despite a low chance of success,,, personally I think that if he avoided the End, his second death would’ve come much later & his chances of making it even longer would’ve increased drastically. 

Final death - Warden - Silly Decision/Bad Luck

While this death definitely has Bad Luck as a secondary factor, Silly Decision is the main one here by a MILE. Deciding to help fight/stay in the area of a Warden and a Wither while being a red life with just over one row of hearts remaining?? One of the Silliest Decisions of all! Anyways, this death also has a Bad Luck component to it because of the Warden deciding to focus on him instead of Mumbo even though they were both really close to it & also with some of the long distance shots from the Warden actually hitting.  

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Now, I know that was a lot of rambling, but there’s a really big thing about these deaths that made me want to categorize them; very few of them have anything to do with pvp fighting! Most of them are environmental deaths (deaths to mobs/fall damage) or deaths indirectly caused by another player (traps that Jimmy himself had to trigger) instead of ones directly caused by a player!

Of course, every player in the life series has had environmental/indirectly caused deaths, but the winners/the people who place really high? They have more deaths directly caused by a player than anything else!

Take someone like Impulse, who consistently has a very high placement in the life series, but hasn’t won one (yet!!). A vast amount of his deaths are kills directly caused by other players! Same for most of the winners!! (Scar is the outlier here, although he only died due to direct kills by other players in the season he won, sooooo)

So, here’s what I’m getting at: if Jimmy can cut down on his environmental deaths, and avoid triggering traps/aggravating other players, I think he could survive much longer than he has so far! He would go from someone who dies without others needing to have much of an input, to someone that people would have to intentionally try to kill because he’s one of the final greens/yellows! We already know from Last Life that he can go a TON of episodes without dying, so if we combine that ability with more than two starting lives, then I think we have a recipe for a potential winner on our hands!!

However. Despite my belief that Jimmy is a much better player than anyone gives him credit for, I also don’t think that he will win a life series. And this is gonna get a little over-analyze-y, but I think that he won’t win because of who he is as a person and as a content creator.

He’s always willing to take risks for friends, do something for the bit (as seen by his lava death with Joel in Limited Life), and generally put himself in risky situations. He knows what makes a good video, but he also just genuinely is having fun with his friends! I think Jimmy could win a life series if he took it really really seriously, and put a ton of time and focus into staying alive and making it far, but I’m not sure that would be very fun for him. He seems like the kind of person who is just in it for a good time. And I’m not saying that he doesn’t want to win, or doesn’t take the series seriously at all - I think he definitely does, based on his reaction to his final death at the end of Double Life & Limited Life - but he’s not gonna go out of his way to win or do the ‘smart thing’ when he can just keep enjoying the series. 

(Eugh, that felt a little too personality-analyzing/parasocial and weird for me, but I do think it’s true.)

ANYWAYS, that’s about it! 

So TLDR: Lots of Jimmy’s deaths aren’t directly caused by players, and if he can avoid those types of deaths, he could survive long enough to have a real shot at winning! He also is much better at being able to survive a long time than we give him credit for, as we see in Last Life. However, while he still takes the life series seriously, he’s ultimately in it for the fun, making it less likely that he pulls off a win. 

Thanks so much for reading, and feel free to ask questions/share your own thoughts!!

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 21 Thoughts: Y2K [Error]s

And we're back, again. Albeit I'm back quite late. This one was an interesting one to start act 3 with. On one hand it's a really good recap for what's lead up to this and a great foundation of what we can presume is to come. On the other hand it's an episode I think is deceptively devoid of new information. There is obviously new stuff to dig into here but in general I think it's not a lot of major stuff and mostly reinforcements of stuff we're already well aware of, or confirmation of stuff that I feel was about as good as confirmed anyway. With that said, this will be quite a read because what there is to dig into does go pretty deep.

Spoilers for episode 21 below the cut.

The conversation with Sam and Celia has a couple of interesting bits in it. Some of it's fairly obvious but there is at least one thing I've not really seen people talk about with it. So, Sam is flirting with the idea of of quitting, which is very Sam, and Celia pushes for him not to and tries to get him back "on track" in regards to the Institute, which is very Celia. Celia does care about her co-workers but obviously she's out for herself more than anyone else in the office. Her "complicated immigration status" is another is a long series of alternate-universe references. I think her comment about the OIAR's lax background checks is a more compelling detail there. Presumably there is a TMP version of Celia, who may or may not be called Celia. So you wouldn't necessarily expect there to be an issue there. "Celia" Ripley does likely exist and is likely British and would likely qualify for a position in the OIAR. Yet the way Celia frames it suggests she thought it would be an issue too. Either something that might come up after she got the job or something to be solved in order to get it. What I think is interesting about that is that it suggests to me that her identity isn't the problem but that they'd have some way to tell she's not from this universe.

That's all pretty normal stuff for this show though. The most interesting part of this is Celia's statement that she has to stay because he can't take Jack back to wherever she came from. I've seen a lot of musings on it but nothing that's gotten to what I feel is the heart of the problem there. Jack can't come with her because Jack is a baby and so can't understand and then engage with the mechanism she used. Which basically confirms that however she did it is much close to Darrien's meditation-induced-travel than, say, a portal to walk through. She doesn't rule out that she couldn't go back either so however it works it would have to be something Jack would have to participate in. Although there is the possibility that she's currently sharing her body with the actual TMP Celia and has merely brought her consciousness over and that Jack can't go because there is no body to return to. The problem with that though is the aforementioned background check. If she was physically living as TMP's Celia then there isn't really a concern there at all. Along with Lady M being about to smell that she's different it probably rules that out. Not a strong confirmation but certainly more pointing in the direction that Celia's body is hers which in turns makes the issue with Jack less likely to be that there is no Jack in Celia's home universe to body hop into.

Okay, so on to the incident proper. Honestly, not a huge amount to dig into this one IMO. Obviously a fair bit happened but it's mostly surface level. Which isn't a bad thing but for the sorts of things I tend to talk about it does limit what there is to say. I'd rather not recount things unless I have something to say about them beyond the text itself. There are still a few things to mention here all the same. Firstly, speaking of Darrien the Dr Welling that is mentioned in the episode is very likely the person who gave their name to Welling Mutare Materia where Darrien was incarcerated in episode 17.

Next up, while it's not talked about in explicit detail there is one thing that sums up the point of this ritual, the "Great Work". Anyone into alchemy will be well aware that this refers the creation of the Philosopher's Stone, the Magnum Opus. Immortality, turning lead to gold, spiritual enlightenment, all of the above. Ask 5 alchemists what it's about, get 6 answers. There are some pretty major implications to this that I've not really seen touched upon. Firstly, it's a near direct confirmation that the OIAR and the Magnus Institute are directly adversarial. If the Institute's goal is the completion of the Great Work then the OIAR's purpose is to prevent that and it's something they. mostly, openly broadcast. The symbol of the Magnum Opus is circle housed in a square, housed in a triangle, that is housed in another circle. That symbol is found in the OIAR's insignia but inverted. Which is about as blatant a statement of opposition as you can really get. In turn that also largely confirms that the OIAR are responsible, or at least wanted to, burn the Institute to the ground. The timing of this is very likely not a coincidence either. This letter is dated 04/01/1999, the dome they're referring to in it (the O2, formerly the Millennium Dome) was opened 31/12/1999, as you might expect. The Institute burned down just 7 days prior to that happening.

Secondly, knowing that the Great Work is pretty obviously the goal at this point recontextualises things like catalysts and agents. As well as the general purpose of the Institute as a whole here. The Great Work isn't generally seen as a bad thing in alchemy, like, it's the whole point of the art. It also doesn't seem like the Institute itself is necessarily perverting that idea either. The PoV character is certainly not happy with the idea that this ritual will harness fear and despair is too great of a quantity. So it doesn't seem out and out capital E Evil as a plan. At least as presented. However, there is

Next up, the Millennium Dome itself has a few interesting elements to talk about in this context. The most obvious one is the Millennium Experience which was a kind of its whole thing for its first year. This was an exhibition of all sorts of bits but of relevance is that the exhibition has split into three major themes; Who We Are, What We Do, and Where We Live. 3 is a fairly major number in alchemy thanks to the tria prima. They're divided further still and Who We Are splits into Body, Faith, Mind, and Self-Portrait. These have some loose alignment with the tria prima, the body, the soul, and the spirit. This is something other people have brought up though and it's not actually the thing I think is exciting about the Millennium Dome. Especially not in context to the episode. The dome is important as an architectural work first and foremost. Everyone should go have a look at it because its major feature is incredibly relevant to the Great Work, this episode's details, and the show's explicit references. The feature of the Millennium Dome are its twelve 100 meter support towers. IRL the 12 towers were chosen mostly because of the strong associations with time, both hours and months, but in this episode a lot of weight is given to the astrological and there are 12 signs in the zodiac. But 12 is also incredibly important for the Great Work too. Typically there are 4 stages that you must take to complete the magnum opus but these stages were expanded upon by various scholars. 12 is a number multiple sources land on. 12 is especially relevant for TMP because it's what's laid out in The Compound of Alchemy; or, the Twelve Gates leading to the Discovery of the Philosopher's Stone, written by George Ripley in 1471. Ripley is a very noted alchemist and importantly Celia is his namesake. It really just ticks a whole lots of boxes for "big important thing" in a show like this.

As a final note on the Great Work its presentation as a universal transmutation is quite a shift from more traditional interpretations. As mentioned it's a bit all over the place as for what it means but this incident seems to portray it as something akin to The Change in scale. Universal and far-reaching. It's hard to say too much more than that based on this episode alone but it's worth keeping an ear out for in the future. Even if this version of it is benevolent I can see why something of that scale got them firebombed.

Also, is it just me or does Chester sound much more roboty to start here than in other incidents?

After the incident it's Alice and Lena having a bit of a chat. Alice in this scene is a little peculiar to me, she's very quick to accept that Sam is correct about being lead to a conclusion by Freddy. Although I'm not sure how that reflects on her stance in the last episode. She was obviously trying to protect Sam but it didn't seem like she was lying about not believing his whole conspiracy there either. In this scene though she's pretty sold on the idea. Lena having a heart is nice to see too. I like that she's opening up a little more and is subverting some of the expectations of her assumed archetype.

Gwen and Ink5oul's section is pretty self-explanatory IMO. At least as far as those two characters go. Ink5oul's powers are progressing and she's now able to control mundane tattoos she had no part in producing but beyond that it's pretty expected stuff. Obviously the real standout here is [Error]. Firstly it's a confirmation that they're the one compelling people to spit out statements. Not that I think that confirmation is much of a reveal. There are a few bigger details to pick at here though. They've seemingly marked the whole gang for some reason. If the above is correct, and the OIAR is directly opposed to the Institute, it could just be revenge. Albeit that labours under the assumption [Error] has some sort of allegiance to the Institute. Which I think isn't entirely certain at this stage. The way the transcript describes them is also very perculiar.

A Figure emerges, shrouded in a cloak of whispers. … The Figure continues to emerge, a nightmarish specter of an older world, slowly enveloping Ink5oul’s brash bravado … The Figure breathes deeply, a strange and disconcerting sound, enveloped in pained whispers.

They're three details worth mentioning there. The first is their almost ephemeral description, they emerge and then continue to emerge. Which is a strange phrasing if they were just walking into the scene. The whispers I think are fairly obviously the statements they force on people, not much to say there. "Ink5oul’s brash bravado" speaks to what I was discussing in last episode's post. Ink5oul seems to be fairly inauthentic in a lot of their interactions and are putting on a persona to seem like they're more of a badass than they really are. Outside of that there is just this to mention.

The tape recorder bites Ink5oul before clicking off.

I've seen it brought up a lot and I get why, it is quite funny, but I think it's also speaking to a larger thing. [Error] appears to have much greater control of these than we might be familiar with. I'm not going to get into TMA spoilers but [Error] seems to be conjuring, and commanding, these things themselves which is a very different vibe. I think they might serve a similar purpose overall, the gathering of statements, but more purposeful and I could also see them being [Error]'s physical tether to the world. If they are as ephemeral as the transcript hints at the tape records might serve as their anchor. It's something they can move about but it might be their vulnerability.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet and Terminology Sheet

DPHW Theory: 4254 seems about right but it's also such a weird one that it's hard to really quantify. It doesn't strike me as wrong in any way but the focus of the incident was not on the, well, incident. So it's hard to say.

CAT# Theory: CAT2 is a 2 and I don't have a huge amount to say on these as of yet.

R# Theory: BC seems right. It's what the last letter about spooky shit was rated and this seems to hit all the same notes I mentioned in the ep 19 post.

Header talk: Architecture (Landmark) -/- Corruption (Entropy) is another of those strange ones. Our third in a row. Which likely means they're here to stay, and while that's generally fine by me it does make me wonder what the diegetic reasoning is here. It's a pretty sudden shift to just do this now and it never come up before this. It's also not something mentioned as new either. Corruption (Entropy) is fairly interesting though. It makes sense for the incident but it feels like you could've just done "time" here for the same effect.

[bunnies-and-loverboys]

To the (trans)masculine person looking to get into actually wearing lolita fashion

including out and about, and not just in the secret of one’s bedroom

Hi! I’m an average trans guy with a love of lolita fashion and also a big hairy bear body that is very much not a cisgender woman’s body. Here are some pieces of advice I have collected from my time wearing the fashion, that I think can make the experience of wearing the frills a happier one when one is transmasculine, or, frankly, any sort of masculine.

The list is a bit long, so it's under the "read more". Happy reading!

Evaluate what makes you uncomfortable in a gender-related way and what doesn’t, then act in consequence. I know that having long hair and wearing skirts doesn’t bother me, but shaving myself makes me feel quite dysphoric. Thus, I wear my lolita dresses and skirts happily, while sporting a neatly trimmed beard.

Experiment to avoid some bad surprises. Related to the first piece of advice, if you don’t know whether something will make you feel uncomfortable/less manly/dysphoric, try it out in private before you go to an event, to avoid feeling uncomfortable at the event or having to leave before you want to out of discomfort. I wasn’t sure If I’d feel better taking pictures of myself in my lolita coords without a beard or with, so I shaved and tried to take pictures and found that I preferred to sport my facial hair while wearing lolita. While experimenting beforehand won't get rid of ALL bad surprises, it'll already be a good number avoided.

Be ready for things to not fit you as they should or not fit you at all, but do not get discouraged. A lot of lolita clothes are made with a conventional woman's body in mind. If you do not have breasts, you might find that some tops and dresses have weird proportions on you, like the waist of a garment being much smaller than the bust of that garment. In that case, either look for custom sized clothes or get a size bigger than what you’d need and alter it/get it altered to fit you. If you are taller, or broad in the shoulders, or fat, or multiple of those qualifiers, it will be harder to find lolita clothes that fit you, but there are options. Some brands have wider ranges of size or provide custom sizing; turn to those. Don’t beat yourself up about smaller clothes not fitting you, although I know it is hard when you really like the design of something and it doesn’t come in your size; some people alter things that don’t fit them to make them bigger, though, so not all is lost. If you want to start making your own lolita clothes, go for it, it is not seen as a bad thing, in fact, most people I’ve met found it really cool.

Be prepared for strangers to be weird about lolita fashion. That may come in the form of being asked strange questions (“Are you a boy or a girl? Is this a regional costume? Is it cosplay?”) or in the form of people looking at you weird and whispering among themselves, or in some cases even heckling or worse. Some may opt to do specific things for peace of mind. For instance, when commuting in lolita fashion, I wear a face mask and long socks to get less attention about my facial and body hair. It is also good to be in groups while commuting, or at least with one other person you know. If people are weird to you, remember it's them being weird and not your responsibility for them being weird; you're just out and about wearing clothes.

Be prepared for people to assume that you are a woman if you are not displaying any conventional outward sign of masculinity while wearing lolita fashion. For some people, I understand that it may be a dealbreaker, especially if you are a transgender man who has spent a lot of time and effort into be recognized as a man publicly. Personally, while I don’t like it, I understand that they are rarely blessed with meeting someone who wears lolita fashion, much less men doing so, and do I consider it a fair, if unfortunately wrong, assumption. Additionally, be prepared for people to assume that you are a transgender woman if you are displaying outward signs of masculinity while wearing lolita fashion. Most people who aren’t super informed about queer people know of transgender women more than they know of gender-non-conforming transgender men, and some more bigoted people will lump cis queer men and transgender women together arbitrarily in their refusal to understand more about transgender people or queer people in general. While being a transgender woman is not an insult (though some people may try to make it one, in less elegant terms), you can politely inform them that you are a man if it suits you to do so, or ignore them and go about your day.

Wearing lolita fashion as a man is definitely intimidating, but if you love the way it looks and find ways to make it work for you, and you have fun wearing it, then you’re doing it right. Lolita fashion is about unashamed joy in pretty details, and anyone of any gender has a right to unashamed joy in the garments they want to wear. A lot of lolita fashion wearers I have met welcomed me gladly upon seeing me genuinely enjoy the fashion, and a number of them are queer themselves, although most often women. So, there’s room for men in lolita fashion, and let us never forget that Mana, the icon himself, is, after all, a man (although not the big and hairy variety).

I haven’t seen a whole lot of men rocking the fashion, and even less the ones with a bear physique, but I hope this encourages anyone who has been wanting to try, but felt intimidated by it, to give it a shot!

[verysium]

what do you read in your spare time? you’re one of the most eloquent users i know, id love to hear how you find the media you consume and what your favorites are

omg ei 😊 welcome back to the inbox! thank you for your sweet words although i'm probably not qualified enough to be considered the full definition of eloquent. i am going to preface this post by saying that i definitely don't read as much as i should, so this list is not going to be comprehensive whatsoever. the last time i even visited an in-person library was like half a decade ago, and since then my spare time has been nonexistent lmao. anyways, here are some of my favorite/most recent reads as listed by author:

POETRY

richard siken: i think siken is already well-known both in the literary world and in whatever booktok deems is popular culture. if you don't already know him though, he is best known for his poetry collection crush, which delves into themes of obsession, gay love, and violent eroticism. i actually read this chapbook unknowingly. as in i was hounding sketchy pdf download sites at 3 AM and saw a man with bloodied lips on the cover and decided to read it. he basically became my summer fever dream after that. the way he juxtaposes images is seamless, smoother than water. only richard siken can talk about violence without making it sound violent. i also enjoyed his other poetry collection war of the foxes, especially "portrait of fryderyk in shifting light." i think light is a common motif throughout most of his poems, and he manipulates it effortlessly. the most recent piece i read from him is "piano lesson." i have nothing left to say that he didn't already say, so i would just recommend reading it for yourself. he is the og big brain when it comes to word play.

ocean vuong: he's unforgettable, and i mean that literally because nobody forgets a person named ocean. time is a mother was exactly what the name suggests: an exploration of grief, loss, and the rewind of time after his mother's death. some of the poems are almost cinematic in quality. "künstlerroman" is my favorite because it feels exactly like watching a video tape in reverse. i think his most famous work is "someday i'll love ocean vuong." it was the first piece i ever read from him, and to this day, it remains my comfort poem.

silas denver melvin: i only recently discovered him through his chapbook grit. i think he's also on tumblr @/sweatermuppet. he writes a lot on the trans experience, and his work gives me a mix of southern gothic and country vibes. would definitely read his other publications if i had the time.

chen chen: one thing about chen chen is that he always comes to devour. my favorite works from him are "self-portrait as so much potential" and "song of the anti-sisyphus." you have to put on your thinking cap for some of his poems, but once you grasp the meaning, everything makes sense all at once.

franny choi: "disaster means without a star" was the entire inspiration behind my first rin fic. i relate to her more personally in regards to the diaspora experience, but her collections are worth reading in general because of the sheer quality.

pages matam: his poem "piñata" was what got me into slam poetry. his work mostly consists of political commentary which i feel is particularly relevant in today's social climate. "on learning america's english" also resonates with people who have encountered the entire losing/learning immigrant tongues experience.

laura lamb brown-lavolie: i've only read one spoken word poem from her, and tbh i only needed to read one. "on this the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the titanic, we reconsider the buoyancy of the human heart" is my two-headed calf poem. one day i will get this tattooed.

brendan constantine: once again, this was the result of me being chronically online coupled with the boredom of an august heat wave. i found "the opposites game" through TED. honestly, i was a bit unsure about it at first, but it's a cute little poem that makes you really delve into the intricacies of craft.

TEEN POETRY & PROSE

yasmeen khan: she could mouth her words onto every square inch of my body, and i would still be coming back for more. ingraining them into flesh is not enough. "movie stars" is by far my favorite work from her. she writes about femininity and womanhood so profoundly. it's tragic, but really i wouldn't have it end any other way.

kaya dierks: her writing is basically middle-of-nowhere small town stoner teenage life but personified. "crushed" is my favorite piece from her. the soundtrack for this work was definitely by ethel cain, and you cannot convince me otherwise.

FICTION

madeline miller: i was first introduced to her when i read the song of achilles. let's just say that book had me nonverbal for the greater half of three months. it was my metaphorical hatchet. i buried it once, and i never want to dig it up again. i read circe a few years later. the first time was during the blue hour at an airport, right between one red-eye flight and another transfer. i don't even remember that experience because i was heavily sleep-deprived. i read it again recently for a literature course, this time for academic analysis. overall, i enjoy the the heroine-centric narrative. typically, i'm a bit wary of novels with heavy feminist themes because they either project their agenda too strongly or they run the risk of misrepresentation. circe doesn't exactly have that problem. it was more about empowerment and less about exercising power over others.

charlotte brontë: as a historical figure, brontë was questionable, but jane eyre most certainly was not. that book rewired my brain, and that is saying something because i have never read any classic by choice. and it is so important to me that jane was the ugliest, plainest girl you could ever imagine. also cus i unironically enjoy angst, and this book was full of dramatic misunderstandings.

yoko ogawa: i love japanese literature, so there is no reason not to include this one here. "a peddler of tears" is one of my favorite short stories. i did not expect the ending at all, but it was welcome. something about violence, body gore, and dismemberment being framed as romantic and semi-erotic just gets to me. sign me the hell up. hotel iris is a hit-or-miss with some people. either you like the fact that art makes you uncomfortable or you shut it down completely. for me, i was alright with exploring some of its darker themes, but read at your own discretion.

NONFICTION

ross gay: he lives up to his name both in optimism and in carefree joy. probably one of my favorite creative nonfiction authors simply based off the accessibility of his writing style. easy to read and understand but still hits you with the full force of a semi-truck. i would recommend his book inciting joy. it's a collection of essays that delve into grief, but since this is ross gay, he makes it seem like a quintessential part of life.

paul kalanithi: sixteen-year-old me was mind blown by him cus before that doctors were shrewish old men with bald spots and sterile coats, not poetic surgeons who dissected the anatomy of word and recited t.s. eliot in the most heart-wrenching way possible. he is everything i want to become in both life and death. when breath becomes air literally does take your breath away.

[danmeiconfession]

I'm torn between not caring about Ning Yingying and Qiu Haitang and hating them tenfold. Why did the rumor persists? When I watched the donghua, I found Ning Yingying so freaking annoying. Although in the latter part of the novel, there were improvments. The PIDW Ning Yingying, did she never defend her Shizun from the lecherous rumors that still persist or no one believed her because she's a dumb kid in their eyes? She really backstabbed him the one person he favored and she let everything be destroyed for Binghe what justification is there except she was a stupid? Did she not care for people and her her Shizun lol like she's worse than the scum villain himself at least he's got integrity. i'm sorry to say but deing a dumbfuck or naive ain't an excuse just cause she's a girl.

And Qiu Haitang, is she another stupid girl who can't she her supposed "love" is being abused. There may not be scars visible but being so thin or signs will be obvious. Or ask herself why a slave would do such a thing after many years you think with age comes wisdom she didn't have that

Maybe I just really hate their rose-tinted eyes, privilege and stupidness.

And Yue Qingyuan, how did you become a Sect Master when you can't even talk and explain things to your Shidi? I get he has trauma but I look at Shen jiu right and even though he also had trauma he goes above to save him and to do everything even with that trauma and you're telling me a few words can't qualify. He can't fucking defend his own shidi or believe him.

He never belives him does he ? Someone could replace his Xiao Jiu and he'll won't notice oh wait that already happened... Imagine someone you knew for years you won't know some signs or investigate further beside that one time I know Shen Yuan didn't do such a great job they checked him for possession I think ? But seriously... If it was the other around knowing Shen jiu he'd do his best to bring him back because he loyal as hell. That how I know how unfair this is because Shen jiu is such an all for nothing guy and he wastes it on him is such a shame because what benefit has this man brought except pain.

I genuinely feel bad for Shen jiu because the bar for people is low just being even a smidge kind to him and he'll do anything for you is sad as hell because the world he lives in is complete dogshit. Yue Qingyuan is such a low bar to i'm sorry but he is to even have if you want a dependable and reliable figure that there for you when they just mess more shit up more. He ain't Lan Zhan that for sure . My god, Liu Qinghe the type if you want a loyal man he fought Luo Binghe for 5 years for his SVSS corpse such dedication in such a short time too and they hated each other. If Shen jiu heard me talking shit about his Qi-ge that's fine lol because it true he ain't much.

Everything is a mess. I feel like they just messed up Shen Jiu's life. What value had they brought in my man's life if not pain.

.

[irrigos]

interpreters in fallen london, ranked by how badly they violate the Code of Professional Conduct

I'm using the Registry of Interpreters for the Deaf's CPC, because thats what I learned. none of these characters would actually fall under the jurisdiction of RID, because its an American organization. and also. was founded in 1964. I also acknowledge that none of the clients these interpreters are interpreting for are, in fact, deaf, but I don't know anything about spoken language interpreting, and I feel like the needs of these specific clients are more akin to the interpreting needs of deaf clients I've had than anything else. (Also, the CPC calls them "consumers", I prefer "clients" because that's what I learned, but people will use either and it doesn't matter that much)

This post is very long, and there's not even that many people on it! I could have made it shorter, but I already didn't do that. You're the one who chose to read it! That's not my problem!

The CPC:

RID's Code of Professional Conduct was written in collaboration with the National Association of the Deaf in 2005 (replacing their prior Code of Ethics). It has 7 tenets, which each have several points of illustrative behaviors. I decided to cite the specific illustrative behaviors that these interpreters fail to perform, because I thought that would be more interesting and thorough. And no one will ever accuse me of not being thorough.

Here is the CPC presented in American Sign Language, and here it is in written English. It's not a very long or complex document, if you're interested in reading it yourself. I can't really imagine anyone WOULD be that interested in the code of conduct for a profession you're not in, unless you're like... me... but hey, there it is.

Barqujin:

Batachikhan's interpreter in Mask of the Rose. He wants to leave the amber warrens beneath London and go start a shop, but she thinks it's a bad idea. Purposefully interprets Batachikhan incorrectly to try to convince the player to help with her plan instead (facilitating a slower, more planned introduction of Rubbery Men into London society.) Is clearly threatened by the player character also being able to understand Batachikhan, since she spent years with the Rubberies learning their ways and you're just some dipshit. Also can have a threesome with the player and Batachikhan.

Tenets violated:

2.3 ("Render the message faithfully by conveying the content and spirit of what is being communicated, using language most readily understood by consumers, and correcting errors discreetly and expeditiously.") She is very much not faithfully rendering the message

4.1 ("Consider consumer requests or needs regarding language preferences, and render the message accordingly") This might seem like the same as 2.3, but this one focuses more on language preferences than content, eg using Signed Exact English instead of pure ASL if that is what the client prefers. So this would be like when Batachikhan is writing and breaks the chalk, and Barqujin gets annoyed and refuses to get more. Not respecting the method by which her client would like to communicate.

Conclusion:

I put her first on the list (so, least bad) because she at least DOES seem to care about Batachikhan and his well-being, even if she's pretty shitty about it. Also, I'm counting the time she spent in the amber warrens as "professional development", so she IS fulfilling tenet 7.0 ("Interpreters engage in professional development.") although I don't know how many CEUs that would be worth. Really, I think Barqujin is a good example for why the Americans with Disabilities Act says that a "companion" (family member, guardian, friend, religious leader, etc) cannot be counted as a qualified interpreter in most circumstances. Barqujin lacks the impartiality required to be an effective interpreter!!

The Sagacious Ape

In the ambition Hearts Desire, your monkey friend Gregory Beechwood hires an interpreter from the Empire of Hands to facilitate him actually having a conversation with you. Probably should come before Barqujin, technically, as her misconduct is probably worse (it's pretty bad to purposefully interpret something incorrectly because YOU think they should have said something different! that is generally Frowned Upon!) but he bothers me more. Also you could argue that Barqujin is not operating in the game as a Certified Interpreter who is bound by the code of conduct, but as a bilingual friend doing a favor, so… idk. Barqujin gets to be less bad because the Sagacious Ape bothers me so much more.

Tenets violated:

2.2 (“Assess consumer needs and the interpreting situation before and during the assignment and make adjustments as needed.”) Maybe a nitpick to start us off, but I was trained to always show up at least 15 minutes early, so you can meet with your client for a bit and figure out their linguistic needs. And the Sagacious Ape did not do that, although I SUPPOSE I can allow for the possibility that they met sometime off-screen.

I GUESS. 2.3 (Render the message faithfully, etc.) Tries to downplay Beechwood's tone/language use. He keeps making little asides objecting to Beechwood's swearing, or doing what seems to be downplaying the intended tone. Sorry, Mr Ape Interpreter. Gregory Beechwood wants to say fuck and you and I both know it. You gotta say the fuck word.

2.5 (“Refrain from providing counsel, advice, or personal opinions.”) Guessed what Beechwood wanted from the Marvelous before Beechwood said anything. You are not a participant in this conversation, man! You don't get to give your input here!

Conclusion:

Unfortunately, I am in love with Barqujin so she gets a little more leeway than the Sagacious Ape. And he's also the only one on this list who is licensed, so he has no excuse. But frankly, worse than the CPC violations, his greatest crime was doing my two biggest interpreter pet peeves. 1. He doesn't interpret into first person language (“He says he's sorry“ should instead be ”I'm sorry.“ This is a thing you learn in literally day 1 of an Interpreter Training Program.) 2. He calls himself a translator and not an interpreter, even though he is interpreting and not translating (I actually emailed FBG about this when it came up with the last election, but I don't know if they went back and fixed it in HD, too. I'd already beaten it by then. But a translator takes a static text in one language and converts it into another language, and an interpreter takes a live text in one language and converts it into another. An interpreter is working in the moment, so you'd have one at doctors appointments or presentations or plays, and a translator is working over time, so you'd hire a translator to work on a book or an article or a poem. I have done lots of interpreting and very little translating.) So, sorry Sagacious Ape. We ARE voting you off the island.

A small addendum to the entry on the Sagacious Ape- I couldn't find a good way to fit this in, but he reminds me almost more of a Deaf Interpreter than an Interpreter for the Deaf. A Hearing interpreter (or an interpreter for the deaf) would be a Hearing person who is fluent in both sign language and English (or, well, probably any spoken language, really) and interprets between the two. A Deaf interpreter is one who is themselves Deaf. Their role is to take the interpretation from the Hearing Interpreter and make it into more natural, fluent sign language, and to take the sign language of the client and make it easier for the Hearing interpreter to interpret correctly. They primarily work with people who are multiply disabled, or have some other language disability. The situations I've seen where a Deaf interpreter has also been hired have been for things like the client being DeafBlind, the client having cerebral palsy, or the client experienced language deprivation and isn't fluent in sign language. I think the Sagacious Ape is a little more like a Deaf interpreter because, while monkeys in Fallen London CAN speak (clearly, as the Sagacious Ape can!) Beechwood is not able to communicate in any language, so the Sagacious Ape is interpreting off of things like gestures and grunts. And that's closer to what I've seen Deaf interpreters do with clients who went through language deprivation than it is to any interpreting work I've ever done. Just a fun thought I wanted to share, even though it's not really relevant to the list.

The Nocturnal Landscape Artist

The Nocturnal Landscape Artist (who is also sometimes in game referred to as the Nocturnal Landscape Painter) was the Tentacled Entrepreneur's interpreter during the election of 1898, and was fired later, in Helicon House. I hate him terribly, and he's my favorite representation of an interpreter in the game.

Tenets violated:

1.1 (”Share assignment-related information only on a confidential and “as needed” basis.”) This might be a bit of a stretch, but during the election, you could get drunk with him and he'd talk a little shit about how actually TE doesn't know anything and HE'S the real brains here. Obviously this is incredibly inappropriate, but I'm also gonna say it's breaking confidentiality. Yknow. Among other problems.

2.5 (“Refrain from providing counsel, advice, or personal opinions.”) He was involved in TE's mayoral campaign to provide counsel and advice, while also providing interpreting services

3.5 ("Conduct and present themselves in an unobtrusive manner and exercise care in choice of attire.") I guess it's a little different for him, because he's not ACTUALLY a sign language interpreter, but generally speaking, I always had a VERY strict dress code, which boiled down to basically wearing only solid, dark colors, like black or navy. I guess they don't really describe the Painter in the game that much, but I mean… look at this guy. Do you think this guy is capable of being unobtrusive? I do not.

3.8 ("Avoid actual or perceived conflicts of interest that might cause harm or interfere with the effectiveness of interpreting services." The CPC defines a conflict of interest as "A conflict between the private interests (personal, financial, or professional) and the official or professional responsibilities of an interpreter in a position of trust, whether actual or perceived, deriving from a specific interpreting situation.") The Artist is literally involved with TE to better himself. During the election, he one time says ”We'll be the mayor“ which is. Yikes, man.

3.10 (”Refrain from using confidential interpreted information for the benefit of personal or professional affiliations or entities.“ See above.)

6.6 ("Refrain from harassment or coercion before, during, or after the provision of interpreting services.") Shows up at TE's art show without being invited, in an attempt to berate him. Cringe.

Conclusion:

"He needs me. As a teacher. A mentor. Fortunately, he does act on my advice. An' we both have the same goals. …You have to keep this to yourself. He's the money, but I'm the brains. We'll be mayor, just you see." BAD!!! I hate this man!! But the reason he's my favorite representation of an interpreter I've seen in this game, and quite possibly ANY game, is that… I've totally met this guy. Every Deaf person I know who has needed an interpreter has met this guy. There is a certain kind of person who becomes an interpreter (or really goes into any field that involves working closely with a marginalized group) primarily because they think that these poor people need their HELP. THEY know what's best for their clients! And they're going to see that done! Client's input be damned! It makes my skin crawl. The role of an interpreter is complex, and there are a lot of different opinions about how much an interpreter should interpret cultures as well as language, and this is made even MORE complex when you're interpreting for someone who is marginalized BECAUSE of this culture and language. But the Nocturnal Landscape Painter is clearly convinced that TE is going about everything wrong, and he's using his position as TE's interpreter to try to force him into what the Painter thinks is correct. And then has a big baby tantrum when TE does what he wanted to do anyway! It's no wonder they aren't friends anymore, if they ever were to begin with. I was glad that I got to throw this dude out of Helicon House. Wish I could do the same to everyone in my interpreting training cohort who thought it was their role to help all these poor sad Deaf people who couldn't get by without us. Gross.

In conclusion:

[nokingsonlyfooles]

“It’s my hope, Mr. President, that you listen to us, that you choose democracy over tyranny.” - Abdullah Hammoud, Dearborn Mayor and Voter

YES! I can't fuckin' believe the media accurately reported this as a protest and printed/publicized the words of the voters explaining why they did it. AND NOBODY HAD TO ATTEMPT SUICIDE! This is big and it could get even bigger! But it's a qualified bigness, because...

Walz, a major supporter of Biden’s reelection campaign, said Michigan’s “uncommitted” results were a healthy demonstration of democracy. “I think they feel passionate, as they should, about an issue we all care about,” Walz said, adding that he expected most protest voters would eventually return to Biden’s side in a likely November rematch with former President Donald Trump, who himself has struggled with college-educated voters and suburbanites in his ongoing Republican primary against former U.N. Ambassador Nikki Haley. “I’m much more convinced there’s a chance bringing those folks home is much greater than bringing the ‘Never Trump’ folks back home,” Walz said.

Yeah. I know this song and dance. I've seen it happen in person, at protests, in reatime. They come out to "do voter outreach" and they're all smiles to start. "Yes! Please do continue to act upon your freedom of speech in a way I, an advocate for the status quo, find nonthreatening. Your feelings are valid, ha-ha! I expect nothing to change, and indeed I will act to change nothing, but good for you!" A few folks always believe the message has been received and quiet down, that's why they do it. But wait and see what happens to that smile when a few people start interrupting and yelling, "THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!"

At least this guy's willing to suggest Biden would pick up more votes by moving left than moving right, although I doubt he actually expects anything radical. A few more forgiven student loans or somewhat cheaper drugs aren't much of a problem, and that's leftist too! So we don't really have to worry about the ongoing genocide.

The thing is, if/when this picks up momentum and the DNC starts to think they might have to change something or lose, it will become something other than a positive demonstration of free speech. It'll be childish tantrum-throwing, pointless, uncivil, attention-whoring, astroturfed, counterproductive foreign interference, and whatever else sounds bad. If any of you out there in internet-land already feel threatened by it, you're probably saying that right now. (Go ahead and comment, you'll boost this with other people who think like you, and I might change some minds.)

And, if you are comfortable with it and want voters to do it instead of threatening to withhold votes from Biden in the general, check your privilege. Not every state offers this. Unless something changes real fast (at least, I THINK it hasn't changed, it's hard to do a search when "uncommitted" brings up SO MANY news articles about Michigan 😁), mine won't. I can't do this. I can't vote in a third party primary either. It'd be all blue or nothing. And neither of those things will get me any press, so I gotta keep talking. Maybe I'll motivate someone who can vote uncommitted! Or scare a politician! I still think I'm doing more good by staying alive, and I'm a bit distant from any property I might meaningfully damage (although I am open to suggestions that won't get me arrested and silenced), so this is the only thing I got that won't injure a human being.

Tumblr, no matter how you actually intend to vote, if you're not up for living in a two-party system where both parties think they can do a little genocide and stay in power, you have ways of making yourself heard. There are options beyond falling in line behind the lesser evil. Don't let anyone tell you there aren't. And when you start hearing "stop!" or "you can't!" that means you have something they want. A cessation of hostilities! Well, now you might be in a position to negotiate terms! Don't give up!

Please, please, please don't give up. There is so much to be done.

[blackjackkent]

Hector:

What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

Who would / do they believe without question?

What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember?

Rakha:

What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent?

What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character

(Weirdly Specific But Helpful Character Building Questions)

Wheee so many questions! c:

Hector!

What do they commonly misinterpret because of their own upbringing / environment / biases? How do they respond when realizing the misunderstanding?

Oh, man, there's probably a lot of these. :P Hector grew up in a super insular environment and the social norms in the monastery were almost certainly very different from the "real world".

One of my favorite random little Hector headcanons that I came up with a while back was that despite being very reserved in other regards, he probably views communal bathing as a natural thing and has zero embarrassment about it and consequently shocks some people accidentally by just stripping down for the purpose without thinking about whether anyone else is around.

Just in general, really, I don't think the concept of privacy was really heavily emphasized in the monastery - but he's also not stupid, so he doesn't do anything really egregious. But this is one area where it doesn't occur to him until it's caused a bit of havoc.

I think Lae'zel and Karlach aren't thrown by it although they do enjoy the view, but Shadowheart and Gale get somewhat flustered, Wyll gets VERY flustered, and Astarion makes snarky comments, and all of this combined makes Hector much more careful in future because he would feel very bad about accidentally making anyone uncomfortable.

Who would / do they believe without question?

It's occurred to me on more than one occasion that it's a REALLY good thing that Karlach is a very good, kind person, because she can smile at Hector and tell him absolutely anything and he will a) believe her and b) do whatever she says. XD

So Karlach is at the top of this list. He also pretty much implicitly believes Jaheira and Wyll. (And Gale for factual things, but maybe not always for advice. :P )

What do they feel guilty for that the other person(s) doesn’t / don’t even remember?

I have talked a bunch already about how Hector is really hard on himself for moments when he lets himself get emotionally overwhelmed and not properly #stoic and #disciplined.

One particular speculation I had a bit back really intrigued me, though, which is that I think he is actually way harder on himself than the senior monks actually demanded of him. He's definitely aware that his father was also a monk - and a very bad one, who was super lax and ill-disciplined, got Hector's mom (whoever she was) pregnant, and then bailed on them both and disappeared entirely. I suspect that Hector's heavy emphasis on his own self-control, and disappointment with himself when it's not up to snuff, comes a lot from him wanting to be NOT like his deadbeat dad.

With this in mind, I suspect there were a lot of moments when he was a kid/teenager where he really felt like he was failing his teachers (such as his breakdown flashback in The Center Cannot Hold), and his teachers basically saw it as completely minor growing pains and part of the learning process and not actually a failure at all.

Rakha!

What do they notice first in the mirror versus what most people first notice looking at them?

Answered here.

Who do they keep in their life for professional gain? Is it for malicious intent?

This one's kind of funny bc I had to sit and think for a while on what qualifies as "professional gain" for Rakha. XD

I think it would be fair to say that she originally only stayed with her companions at all out of a sense of self-interest. They had a shared struggle with her, so they might be useful to keeping her alive long enough for revenge and to figure out what had happened to her.

It was only after she started to get to know them (and herself, really) that she started to think of them as people beyond their utility to her in a practical sense.

Even in those early moments, though, I'm not sure her attitude would have qualified as malicious. She's just incredibly, intensely, ruthlessly practical and was even more so at that point. She didn't actively want harm to come to them - or to anyone, really, except the people who put the worm in her head.

The beast, of course, had other plans.

What simple activity that most people do / can do scares your character?

Once again... there's probably a lot of these. Literally everything that Rakha experiences is completely new to her. (And of course in trying to actually think of one my brain goes completely blank. XD )

Off the top of my head... I just pictured a scenario where the group would have to travel by horseback for a longer distance, and realistically... horses are SCARY up close if you're not familiar with them, or at least have the potential to be.

(I've always wanted to properly learn horseback riding, but I've taken a handful of lessons and am always surprised realizing just how big a horse actually is when you get up close to it in real life.)

And horses are also (as I understand it) jumpy creatures when faced with something threatening, which Rakha kind of is whether she wants to be or not.

So I could see a situation where everyone else is mounted up and ready to go and Rakha and her horse are just having an intense staring contest with both of them freaked the hell out by each other. XD

[missnight0wl]

I don't get why people put Rowan in Ravenclaw just because they are a nerd when their intense loyalty (toward MC in particular) and ambition make Slytherin fit them like a glove.

Oh, tell me about it! Like, no offence to anyone who claims that, but people insisting that Rowan is obviously a Ravenclaw is one of my biggest pet peeves about this fandom. And while I absolutely see your point about Slytherin, the thing is that Rowan fits really well into every House. The same goes for MC because those characters were purposefully written that way: to fit into every player’s story. I even remember seeing Matt London’s post addressing this very thing (although I believe he talked only about MC).

No, but seriously. Let’s take a look.

Gryffindor. Back in Y2 when Rowan got hurt because of the Snowflake Door, they were absolutely terrified because it was the closest they ever got to dying. They also didn’t want to return to the Cursed Vaults. Still, after talking to MC, they decided that they can help in other ways. Later on, Rowan is even one of the options to accompany MC to the Vault of Ice. And they do agree if you ask them! Honestly, the theme of “bravery is not the lack of fear but facing your fears” is really quite common in the series (with Neville, Ben, and whatnot), so I don’t get why it’s not a more common conclusion. Also, you know how people claim that Rowan is the HPHM version of Hermione? Well, look at what House Hermione was.

Ravenclaw. Ok, so this one doesn’t need much explanation. It’s no secret that Rowan loves to learn. Although I think it’s important to point out for a Ravenclaw!Rowan in particular that for Rowan it’s not just about being a good student. They quite clearly enjoy gaining knowledge on its own.

Slytherin. Rowan might be the most ambitious person in MC’s year, if you ask me. I’d say that they can be quite determined and resourceful, too. As for loyalty you mentioned… Well, the thing is that loyalty per se is actually a Hufflepuff trait. Slytherin is more about brotherhood. And sure, you could argue that it’s similar to loyalty, but I feel that Rowan’s loyalty is more of a Hufflepuff ind.

Hufflepuff. Ok, so here we have the loyalty I mentioned above. I guess you could also call Rowan hard-working, though I’d personally qualify it rather s ambition. Still, I think that the very Hufflepuff thing about Rowan worth keeping in mind is how inclusive they are. because the thing is that Rowan didn’t have to choose MC for their friend. If they had a different personality, they could’ve decided to start fresh, befriend someone who wouldn’t have a bad reputation already.

Rowan has a pretty solid basis to be in any House, in my opinion. Let’s add to it in-game choices and personal headcanons… And honestly, I really can’t say that one interpretation is more valid than the other.

[purlturtle]

Romance Tropes Bracket, Sweet Sixteen

In this round, we have:

Blue: Bodyguard vs. Workplace, and Second Chances vs. Nanny/Governess

Yellow: Mistaken Identity vs. Only One Bed, and Kissing Lessons vs. Forced Proximity

Red: Grumpy/Sunshine vs. Just To Get It Out Of Our System, and Holiday Romance vs. Soulmates

Green: Marriage of Convenience vs. Friends to Lovers, and Sworn Off Love vs. Supernatural

Find out tomorrow who's getting ahead! Tell me who your favorites are!

Under the Readmore I'll tell you why all of these won out against their opponents, and I'll link a few fics in which I've used these tropes!

Blue

Bodyguard was up against Love Triangle - and that was an easy choice. I don't GET love triangles; my first impulse will always be "porque no los dos? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯" and most stories don't deliver that. It just doesn't grip me if someone feels themself drawn to two and "has to make a decision". (Am I poly? Probably. Am I happily married? Definitely. Anything else is between me and my wife. :D) (Have I been thinking for some time about a Bering and Wells Bodyguard fic? Most certainly.)

Workplace was up against High School: not quite that easy, especially since I wrote a High School fic myself! In the end it won out because (a) a lot more of my stories qualify as workplace stories and (b) there is just a lot more variation that's possible with a workplace story vs. a high school story. People can have so many different jobs, after all, which can inform the story!

Second Chances defeated Made A Promise (90s style) very easily - first of all, promises don't really hold my interest, especially when they are treated as set in stone for all eternity no matter how much the circumstances and/or persons involved might have changed. Second, and much more importantly: second chances are The Best. Let's face it, we all mess up, and sometimes incredibly badly. And you can do so much with that, narratively! It can move the plot, it can show the characters' character, it makes them change and grow, it is a fantastic source of conflict AND resolution! Top Tier, honestly (and a lot of my stories are that; most obviously the Strata/Commutata duology)

Nanny/Governess beat out Sibling's Best Friend only narrowly, because "employer/employee who's charged to care for employer's kids" is dynamic I just like ever so slightly better than "someone who's been hanging around our house since forever and teased me when I was a kid and ganged up on me with my sibling and now I ~like~ them". Just, nah. Both of them are pretty low on the list, though.

Yellow

Mistaken Identity *easily* vanquished Age Gap; I've never really been a fan of the latter. I like my protagonists to be in a similar place in their lives (which is also, by the way, why "Person A's first queer relationship, but Person B has been out for decades" doesn't grip me at all; at least not if the story focuses *entirely* on Person B helping Person A navigate this situation). I'd *MUCH* rather read Mistaken Identity Shenanigans!

There could only ever be one winner in the Only One Bed vs. Love Potion/Aphrodisiac fight: the latter is fun for a smut fic, but we're talking romance here, and I'd rather that does not start with overruling someone's agency. Although I have to confess I did write that 😅 (47K words of it, even! With not even all that much smut in it!) But nothing beats "there's only one bed" as a trope to get two characters physically, intimately close to each other!

Kissing Lessons won over Amnesia, even though I wrote a Tumblr fragment about the latter! But the thing is: that is fan fic about two characters we already know, so it hits hard; amnesia as a trope usually means that Person A starts out amnesiac or is only introduced with very broad strokes, and that just doesn't grip me. Whereas Kissing Lessons is something that I have done myself, so... *grins*

Forced Proximity also easily defeated Secretly A Celeb/Royal - one of my absolute faves, and thoroughly explored in my Road Trip Series linked above (Strata/Commutata). In all seriousness, though: Only One Bed is Forced Proximity too, just one specific instance of it, so that's a bit unfair - especially since the Green sector has yet another one (Snowed In)! But yeah, faced with this, what's a celeb or, sheesh, a *royal* (insert dripping snark here)...

This is getting so long that I'm gonna put the other two sectors in a reblog 😅

[scotianostra]

James Renwick, the Covenanting minister, issued his declaration on May 28th, 1685.

The Killing Times, it is one of the most troubled periods of Scottish History, I am beginning to understand it the more I read it and although I am not a religious man I have to respect the men and women who died for the sake of theirs on all sides, James Renwick was one such man, this is an abridged version of his story, maybe our member Ethyl Smith shall give a much more detailed post about James Renwick, she is much more qualified than I am.

James Renwick had been 18 years old when he saw Donald Cargill executed in 1681. By this time, the Covenanters were meeting together as societies for fellowship, but after Cargill’s death they had no ministers. Cargill’s death made Renwick determined to join these United Societies, and in 1682 they sent him to Holland to train to become a minister. Renwick was ordained as a minister in Holland in 1683, came back to Scotland and began preaching. He spent the next six years preaching and trying not to be caught. In one year, he baptised 600 children.

From 1682 onwards, the persecution against the Covenanters became worse than ever. Claverhouse was sent to fine and arrest Covenanters. By now, Covenanters were being executed just because of their religious beliefs. In 1684, Renwick and the United Societies wrote an Apologetical Declaration which said that they would punish anyone who continued to persecute them. From then on, anyone could be shot on the spot by the government if they wouldn’t take an oath to say that this declaration was wrong. In 1685, Charles II died and his Roman Catholic brother, James VII (known as James II in England) became king. Renwick and the Covenanters wrote a second Sanquhar Declaration in which they rejected James’ right to be king. James had already been persecuting the Covenanters before he became king and had been one of those excommunicated by Donald Cargill. As soon as he came to the throne, James began to take away the laws stopping Catholics from meeting to worship. He offered four indulgences, which many of the Presbyterians accepted. The Covenanters continued to refuse them however. Now, anyone who went to a conventicle could be killed. The years from 1685 to 1688 were known as the Killing Times, during which a couple of hundred Covenanters, young and old, were either shot in the fields without a trial or executed after having had a trial. Those who died included John Brown, The Two Margarets and George Wood.

Renwick kept on preaching but was finally caught in January 1688. When the captain of the troops that caught him saw how young he was, he said: “What! Is this the boy Renwick that the nation has been so much troubled with?”

On the day of his execution, some people tried to get Renwick to pray for the king. But he replied, “I am within a little while to appear before Him who is King of kings, and Lord of lords, who shall pour shame, contempt, and confusion upon all the kings of the earth who have not ruled for him”.

His last words were, “Lord, into thy hands I commend my spirit, for thou hast redeemed me, Lord God of truth.” He was then hanged in the Grassmarket in Edinburgh – the last Covenanter martyr to be publicly executed. The date was 17th February 1688 – 3 days after his twenty-sixth birthday.

[dmagedgoods]

Have you already written Salvadore and Daeran's first kiss? I'm still reading your work on AO3 and haven't seen it, but I'd love to so here's the prompt: finally kissing the person you've been pining for

The soft wide seat cushion shielded them from the cold of the ground while the battlements of the city walls kept them hidden from prying eyes. He felt the warmth radiating from the candlestand behind him, but even stronger from a place deep within his chest.

Daeran gestured in his natural elegance, punctuating his speech with vivid merriment while he answered his question about the events of his day with a small anecdote about a servant’s mishap with an order of Chelish wine and his ideas on how to proceed with the five unexpected crates. There was not a trace of his usual sharpness in his words. His comments lacked their biting edge and he seemed utterly at ease. As it happened so often, Salvadore found himself captivated by his words, entranced by his voice, wishing he could freeze this moment and stay in it forever.

“So, here we are, alone, at this utterly insignificant, tedious business meeting,” Daeran finished his story and came back to what he refused to call a date.

“Would you be so kind as to suggest a conversation starter? We need something boring and practical to talk about. Boring and practical, as you know, is not exactly my forte.”

Salvadore raised a brow, although more in amusement than in irritation, and hoping for the insolent count that he didn’t mean to imply he was more familiar with this field, well, at least not with the first part of it, in terms of practical, he could be superior, indeed.

“Army logistics,” he joined Daeran’s little game and suggested something that should qualify. It was his own least favorite part of the Crusade management, mainly since no one in the sector seemed to be vaguely competent or capable of following through with his orders.

“A fine choice,” Daeran answered, as expected. “This topic is boring and complex enough that two people who are completely uninterested in each other could spend an evening discussing it. In fact, I do have some understanding of logistics.”

And therefore, you are now the proud owner of five crates of Chelish wine instead of five bottles?

Salvadore didn’t interrupt him with the mocking question, but he was sure Daeran could read it on his face.

Gracefully ignoring his amused expression, he continued: “– sometimes it takes a great deal of effort to get the goods you need shipped from distant parts of Golarion. So, get ready to listen to my lecture on the best companies specializing in magical teleportation services. I must alert you in advance – the list is quite long. It consists of around … two dozen enterprises. With all their terms and conditions, including their pricing policies …”

Should Daeran hope to actually bore him, he was tremendously mistaken. If anything, a list of companies specializing in magical teleportation services was exactly what they needed to finally improve the logistic situation.

There only was one problem: He definitely didn’t want to deepen this topic right here and now and Daeran knew it all too well, toying with him as usual.

Soft snowflakes got caught in his hair, shimmering like molten gold in the shine of the candles’ light. It was tousled as if it had decided to join the levity and lighthearted freedom of the moment. He yearned to sink his hand into those soft, irresistible curls, feel them around his fingers like the finest silk, smell the scent of wild herbs and roses … Gods, he had dreamed about it for too long, of how this insufferable man would feel captured in his arms, trembling at his touch, breathing his name. He wanted him. He wanted him so much the sensation grew into a hot tearing in his very core.

“Are you absolutely positive you don’t want me to stop now?”

It was difficult not to drown in the view of his angelic face, not to sink too deep in the gleaming of his eyes, sparkling in mocking joy, or to lose himself while watching those wide, impertinent lips, adorned with a smug little smile.

“I think I know one way,” he answered, voice low and with quiet determination.

So?, his mischievous eyes seemed to ask in silent taunting, until, without further hesitation, he gave into the fierce desire. Cupping the count’s head – heaven, his hair felt even softer than in his imagination –, he claimed his lips in a demanding kiss.

Daeran held back. Motionless and disinterested, he refused to return the kiss.

His heart dropped.

Just when he wanted to retreat, preparing an agonizing, humiliating apology, Daeran kissed back with vigorous passion, pulling him closer with his hands around the collar of his coat.

Salvadore melted against him. Relief shot through his veins, a hint of anger, and the renewed eagerness to finally explore those irresistible lips. Daeran opened his mouth to meet his tongue with his, gently flicking it in a most enticing way. A quiet sound left his throat, causing him to deepen the kiss further.

When they parted after a long blissful moment, Daeran moved closer ever so slightly to take his hand. The small touch left him trembling inside, overly aware of the intimate tenderness. “I wonder if I shall come to regret this? You’re dangerous, I know it.”

Now it was for him to smile, more than pleased about the statement. But as much as a part of him enjoyed this hint of fear, to be seen like this, he wanted nothing more than for Daeran to finally trust him.

Once more he closed the distance, this time to move his fingers through his golden hair, not hiding his devotion, not hiding his strong affection. “I’m no danger to you. Stop running away from me.”

Something in Daeran’s face seemed to soften. “No more running,” he promised.

His heart pounded hard in his chest when he raised his hand to his lips. Then, his expression now sincere and without a hint of mockery, Daeran leaned forward and captured his lips in another passionate kiss.

[one-coming-is-enough]

Terrible news: your resume advice did not get me a job.

I'm sorry :(

Keep trying! And have other people look at your resume. Practice interviews and interview questions.

Getting a job is really difficult and weird these days. There are algorithms that your resume gets put through before another human being ever looks at it. Sometimes the job has already been filled from the beginning and they just have to go through the motions for legal reasons.

Just remember that if you don't get a job or even a callback, it's not because they rejected you specifically. It's not because you weren't good enough. Not unless someone specifically tells you that. And if they do you should take it as constructive feedback, because it takes a lot of effort and chutzpah to tell someone why they didn't get the job (unless they're being dicks on purpose; use your own discretion).

It's usually just because they happened to pick someone else, who might have easily been exactly as competent and qualified as you, and they just had to make a choice somehow. Maybe it was a feeling, or maybe it was an argument between people about their favorites, or maybe it was some random bullshit, like they don't like font with serifs for some reason, or maybe they just had to toss a coin or throw a dart because everyone looked good and they could only hire one person.

That's where stuff like prayers or magic come in, is the uncertainty. You ask Ganesh or Hermes to make your way open so the dart will choose that path of least resistance to your resumé. Or you ask Thor or Artemis to guide that dart to its rightful home, which is your resumé.

But I really don't do that. My physical reach into the world is, frankly, very limited.

I generally transmit thought and feeling, and that's limited to certain thoughts and feelings that help reach a particular goal, and that's not necessarily getting you every job you ask for.

Same with Mother, to some extent, although She can Do much more than I can. But if you ask Her to get you a job, you're putting that decision into Her hands, and She's not necessarily going to give you what you asked Her for. She's going to give you what She thinks is best. And sometimes that's eliminating that job position from the face of the Earth.

(Ask @kleenexwoman about Mango Languages. I have never seen a bacon cheeseburger and a plate of fried shrimp inhaled with such vengeance. Uninvolved standers-by were psychologically harmed by witnessing the sight.)

So all I can really say is to keep trying, tweak your resume, and don't be afraid to ask for outside help from people with more experience. You'll get where you need to be as long as you keep trying.

[allsadnshit]

hi izzy im 22 and i have a family history of endo and have been experiencing frightening symptoms and i dont really know who else to talk to in this regard and i hope this isnt rude to send. i am just curious how u went about getting ur diagnosis and what u think are some good first steps for someone experiencing these things. my mom spent a lot of time on a lot of endless painkillers as i was growing up. and im very afraid of reproductive care bc of how archaic it is! love you thank you <3 theres no need to answer if u feel this is too invasive, i appreciate ur time

It's honestly a head start that you already know you have a family history of endo! Although diagnosis is still difficult to get considering surgery is the only official way to get one...you're honestly much more likely to be recommended a surgeon etc if you have your families medical records with it! So that's really good!

Unfortunately I will say for myself and the people I know personally with endo, getting excision surgery wasn't a relief for symptoms as it has often been advertised for some people, so in terms of pain management I don't want to be getting more surgeries myself so I wouldn't tell anyone else too either! That's a pretty personal choice considering risks and recovery, so you will have to think on that pretty seriously if you think excision could help you and make sure you are looking into what the hospitals near you offer.

For myself, diagnosis was really important since I don't have my moms medical records to assist me with understanding my health. I don't think I could be where I am at recovery, management, or socially without having the official diagnosis from laparoscopy so that was really important to me, even though diagnosis didn't do anything for me in terms in qualifying for disability or anything like that! Unfortunately with the medical system you need that paper trail if you plan to do anything in the hospital system in the future, so I am ultimately glad I got my diagnosis even though it hasn't changed things for me in terms of lifestyle or pain.

If you want to start with an obgyn, that's what most people do! And they probably won't let you talk to a specialist before you rule out the basics with getting scans and blood tests first to confirm they can't more easily see why you are in so much pain. But even if your obgyn doesn't help you, you can at least search for a surgeon after that initial intake process being able to say "I already had tests and scans done, it was inconclusive, so I need to move towards surgery for diagnosis".

Obviously I won't have a solution or answer for the broader scope of what to do because even if you do have endo, it's dynamic and can affect people so differently that it really isn't a one size fits all. If anything, I really really do NOT recommend going on any form of hormone or birth control for pain management no matter how hard it's pushed on you. I really don't believe in that method and it's another way to cover up symptoms rather than getting to the root of healing or understanding.

The biggest changes for me have come with lifestyle: changing my diet to healthier less processed options which means not eating out 90% of the time and cooking with really good quality ingredients, getting a nutritionalist who's worked with endo before, cutting back on manual labor working hours, and processing the trauma of chronic illness in therapy and pin pointing places in my life that need my attention or serious over haul for me to rebalance my stress. Stress and endo are soooo tied together because it's hormone effected so it absolutely cannot be overlooked.

Sorry to hear you are suffering in this way! I no longer take any pain medication because of a similar fear. I recommend tiger balm muscle rub lotion on your lower back, getsomedays cramp cream on your front, and a hot rice heating pad on top for pain relief + drink water + sleep well at all costs. It's a marathon not a race!