#although i feel like this is just a whole chapter is just...a weird chapter

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Just Take It | Jeon Jungkook | Part Five

Summary: You start a conversation with Jungkook about where you stand but are interrupted by an uninvited visitor Pairing: Inexperienced f!reader x Best Friend's Dad Jungkook (20 year age gap) Word Count: 4.7K~ Warnings: Suggestive and explicit language (an argument). Nothing too crazy honestly. Horribly edited too because it's been three weeks and I wanted to get it out! a/n: Sorry it took me so long to get this chapter out but I was away from home for a week and then wrote a couple of one shots and blah blah blah lol but anyways I hope you enjoyyyy Requested by: @kkusadmirer 💜

After our eventful afternoon Jungkook and I ended up laying in his bed and watching movies since like he said, he wanted me to be "well rested" before we have the talk. The talk that could change everything between us... 

There are multiple outcomes to this scenario and I'm not sure if I'm ready for any of them. 

On one hand he could say this was all a mistake and he was just acting on his urges. I know now for damn sure though that he's attracted to me but I don't know what his motives and feeling are towards me. If he even has any besides surface level physical attraction. 

On the other hand he could want to pursue a friends with benefits sort of arrangement. Being fuck buddies or whatever with an older man does sound exciting when I think about doing it with him. It's just that don't know if I'd want something like that even if it was with him. 

I told Jared before that I wanted to save myself for marriage and I feel like that's something I still want to stick to. I've definitely crossed so many lines with Jungkook in the last not even twenty four hours, more like twelve hours or something like that but regardless lines have been crossed and I'm still not sure how I feel about any of it. 

I want to say that I don't regret it and it's not just because it felt fucking phenomenal and out of this world but because I feel safe with him.

It might just be because over the past couple of months that I've been living with him he's become someone I care about and honestly trust with my life so I didn't really feel a need to say no to him. I wanted it to happen, I know I did I just didn't really think it would ever happen. I thought that it would stay in my hormonal fantasies forever and I was okay with that. 

The way he's been treating me has shown me that he cares about me. Although I was trying to convince myself that it was somewhat of a paternal instinct in him and that he was just being protective over me, I knew that it was something beyond that. 

I tried to somewhat address it in a weird sort of way with the whole asking why he didn't have anyone over conversation and he knew what I was trying to ask and addressed it but his answer made me even more confused. 

"I wouldn't want to ruin what we have going on here"  like what does that even mean? He doesn't want to ruin the dynamic we have in the house in terms of we're comfortable with each other and feel no need to let anyone inside our little safe space. 

Or did he mean that he didn't want to ruin what we have going on here because he wanted to see where things went with us on a more romantic level?

He hasn't explicitly told me that he would want to pursue a relationship with me but circling back to before he's given me clear signs that he's attracted to me and isn't one to hide it. 

He knows to a certain extent that I find him attractive too because I asked him to take my virginity. (I'm never gonna be able to live that one down) Anyone could tell that he was clearly struggling to hold himself back and the fact that he kissed me just shows that he wanted to. That he wanted me.

Then there's another possibility that he might want a sugar baby sort of relationship and I don't even want to think about something like that. 

Don't get me wrong! I respect the hustle, but that's just not for me. 

If I'm gonna be doing something like what we are doing right now then I want it to be something that I want to do without any ulterior motive. I don't want to put a monetary value on the time I spend with him but not gonna lie, living it large and not having to worry about money or working sounds very tempting.

I don't think he's that kind of man though...or at least I hope he's not. 

"Penny for your thoughts?" he asks playfully, having noticed that I haven't really been paying attention to the movie we've been watching. 

"Just thinking" I answer, cuddling in closer to him as I've refused to let go of him today and he hasn't made moves to do any different. 

"Bout what?" he prods further, placing a kiss on the top of my head and taking in the fresh scent of his shampoo in my hair.

"Things" I continue, liking the game we've started to play. 

"What sort of things?" he chuckles, telling me that he's enjoying it too. 

"All kinds of things" I say nuzzling closer into him and he wraps his arm tighter around me to keep me there.

"Wanna share a few?" he asks, clearly not letting this go since he wants to at least make sure I'm okay. 

"Thinking about how you might want to make me your sugar baby" I mumble into his chest and he laughs wholeheartedly making me even more embarrassed. 

"Is that something you'd want?" he asks and I shake my head. 

"You don't wanna be at home and sit pretty, waiting for me to come back and shower you with gifts and jewelry and give you the world?" he teases while pinching my sides making me pull away from him, trying to escape. 

"N-no! Now s-stop" I choke out through laughter and gasps of breath. "What would you want" he asks after having tackled me down onto the mattress making sure to do a thorough job of tickling me until I could barely breathe. 

I take a second to think, my eyes going back and forth between his while his stay still, focused and almost begging for an answer. 

"I thought we weren't going to have this conversation until I was well rested" I say, breathless, still not knowing up from down when it comes to us. If there even is an 'us'. 

"You feel well rested?" he asks, cocking a brow at me and I nod my head quickly, giving me a crooked smile in response. "Then it's perfect timing right?" he continues and I nod again leaving him getting off of me and leaning his back against the headboard, waiting to hear what I have to say. 

I take a minute or so to gather my thoughts and the whole time he's watching me curiously, almost able to see the wheels turning in my head. 

"What happened between us kind of caught me by surprise" I start, looking down at my lap and playing with my fingers nervously. "I don't regret it, it was just, well I'm just kind of confused about how you feel about me, and I'm really confused about how I feel about you" I admit and I can see his expression go a bit wary but I jump at the chance to explain myself. 

"It's just that I think both of us know at this point that we're extremely attracted to each other" I start out and the corner of his lips upturns for a second but nods in confirmation, waiting for me to continue. 

"With us getting physical and all so quickly I can't help but think that maybe we should take a step back. I would like to know your thoughts and intentions and feelings about all of this. I might be overthinking it but I really think it's best to be up front and honest with each other" I say and take in a shaky breath, scared I might've said the wrong thing.

"You're so sexy when you act so mature like that" he taunts and I groan, wanting to keep this serious. "I'm just playing Bunny. Well I'm not because you really are sexy but I don't want you to feel all nervous and insecure like you are right now. We're being open and honest right?" he questions and I nod my head, eager for him to continue. 

"Meaning it would be the perfect opportunity to tell you that I have feelings for you right?" he says and my eye bug out in response, not knowing what to do now. "Wasn't expecting that huh?" he chuckles and I shake my head making him laugh even more. 

"Cat got your tongue Darling?" he teases and scoff at that. "No I was just being polite and letting you keep talking since you let me do the same" I say, making excuses and trying to keep my voice level. 

"Sure Bunny" he smirks not believing a word I said but continuing nevertheless.

"I've had feelings for you for a while now and I haven't told you or acted on it because I wanted to respect the fact that you were in a relationship. I never liked Jared though for what it's worth" he says without hesitation and it makes me cringe at the thought that I was about to marry that snake. 

"Is it harsh to say I'm glad he's out of the picture?" he says boldly making me laugh. "Not just because it benefitted me but because he didn't deserve to marry a beautiful, intelligent, kind hearted woman like you. I would've said something but I'm not your father so I knew it wasn't my place" he finishes and making me smile, thankful that he was so considerate. 

Now that I think about it, even back then I respected and trusted his judgement so it wouldn't have bothered me even if he did say something.

"It's not harsh to say because I'm happy about it too. To be honest though I don't really know what I ever saw in him. I think because he was the first guy that more or less respected my boundaries that I thought I had to hold onto him. I don't know" I say and he nods his head.

This is something I haven't experienced before. Someone sitting and taking the time to actually talk things out without any outside distractions and focusing on each other and hearing each other out. 

Maybe it's just an age thing and the fact that Jungkook does fit the standard of dating older and more mature men is better. We're not dating though, but I guess we'll hopefully figure out where we stand once this conversation comes to a close.

"I'm really confused and I kind of don't know how to feel but I'm not closed off to figuring things out" I say, glancing up at him and back down at my lap, nervous from seeing how fascinated he is with me right now. 

I hold my breath and wait for him to say something but when nothing ever comes I chance looking up at him again and I'm surprised to see how he's still watching me.

"Like I said, I've had feelings for you for a while and if you're open to seeing where things go then I would really like to take you out on a date. Like on a proper date. I know since we've been living together and we've been spending a lot of time together but I-" he start off strong but begins to ramble and is regretfully cut off by the sound of the front door opening. 

"Dad! Dad where are you?" Jina calls out and neither of us dares to move or make a sound. "Dad" Jina drags out, regretfully confirming that I am in fact not dreaming. "Be down in a second" he says then presses a finger to his lips. 

"Just stay in here and I'll take care of it" he whispers and I nod my head, watching him as he panics internally before leaving the room and closing the door softly behind him. 

What the hell are we gonna do? My car is out there! Or wait, did I put it in the garage yesterday? I can't remember but I really hope it's not out there otherwise she'll already know I'm here. 

"What are you doing here?" Jungkook says. I can hear his muffled voice through the walls and I know I probably shouldn't listen but curiosity gets the best of me making me rush to the door and quietly crack it open, needing to hear how this conversation goes. 

"Nice to see you too dad" she says, and I hate the fact that I'm only able to hear them but I'll settle for this. 

"You should've contacted me before you came over Jina. You know I don't like people showing up unannounced" he says sternly.

"You're usually totally fine with me coming over" she says sounding thoroughly confused and I can hear Jungkook clear his throat before she starts again. 

"Am I interrupting something?" she asks after no doubt clocking the dishes that were left over from lunch. Two plates, two cups and two sets of silverware. A dead giveaway that someone is here especially since it hasn't been cleaned up yet. 

"You are actually" he says and I trip, surprised that he would straight up admit it but he has no reason to hide, and neither do I.

Having pushed the door open thanks to my clumsiness (somehow able to stay upright and keep my dignity this time) I'm faced with the dilemma of if I should just go back inside and pretend that never happened when it clearly did or come out and face her. 

I'm given the luxury of having that choice since she hasn't seen me yet but I decide it's better to do this as soon as possible. We've hid the fact that I've been living here for two months so what's adding on the fact that I've been messing around with her father while doing so. 

(Although this is a newly added feature but she doesn't need to know that)

I take a deep breath before stepping out from behind the door, watching Jina's face go from surprised to confused to disgusted to angry before turning back towards her father. 

"You're fucking my best friend?" she accuses, not completely wrong but semantics. 

"Best friend's don't fuck around and get pregnant by their friend's fiancees" I remind her, walking down the stairs in conveniently only Jungkook's shirt making what's going on, or what's starting to go on between us even more clear. 

"Oh grow up! It's not like there's anything we can do to change that now can we? Plus looks like you're doing just fine without him" she throws at me and from that moment I'm not pulling any punches. She wants to play dirty? Fine, let's play dirty.

"Jina stop it" Jungkook growls, going on the defensive, not being able to gauge what kind of mindset she's in or even her reasoning for coming here but wanting her out all the same.  

"Grow up?" I chuckle dryly, "I guess you're right, I guess maybe I have started growing up since it seems I've matured enough to be with someone like your father. Which, last time I checked, wasn't someone you have any business in questioning on things like his sex life and who he does and does not partake in it with" I say, placing a hand on his bicep possessively and I feel the tension he had once held in his body start to melt away. 

Interesting to know that I have this effect on him...

"Come on, we both know that you're probably just a piece of ass to him" she scoffs before turning to address him. "Didn't know you started picking up strays. I wondered where she had ran off to" she says, continuing to disrespect the both of us without a care in the world.

"Don't call her that!" Jungkook says, jaw clenched as a way to keep himself in check. 

All I see is red though and the next words I hurl out are ones that I couldn't stop myself from saying even if I tried. The ringing in my ears fanning the flames of my agitation making it impossible to hold back.

"How's life being pregnant with my fucking ex boyfriend's baby? He's probably taking real good care of you huh?" I taunt, cocking a brow at her and from the way the color rushes to her cheeks and the words die in her throat are enough to tell me everything I need to know. 

He hasn't done shit for her.

She balls her hands into fists by her side and lunges at me but Jungkook jumps in between us, grabs her by the shoulders and turns her around, forcing her out the front door. 

"You're gonna throw me out and choose that slut over your own daughter?" she yells struggling to get out of his grasp the whole way. 

"Last time I checked honey the only slut around these parts is you" I throw back, following right behind them and the way her jaw drops is just priceless. 

"That's enough! Jina go!" Jungkook says through gritted teeth letting go of her once she's passed the thresh hold, leaving her standing there, looking between the two of us before scoffing and storming off down the driveway. 

"I knew you were obsessed with her I just never thought you would bother acting on it" Jina spits out at her father and when she sees that he doesn't flinch she hurls more baseless lies and insults at the both of us. 

"You know she's just using you to get a place to stay and get over her ex right? What happened to staying a virgin until you got married y/n? Huh? Guess getting cheated on really fucked you up" she spits while unlocking her car. 

"And I guess fucking around with an ego-driven two-timing narcissist gets you pregnant" I throw back and she purses her lips before sinking down in her car, accepting defeat this time and leaving like her father told her to. 

"Say hi to Jared for me" I call out, waving at her as she grips the steering wheel until her knuckles have gone white, putting it in reverse and backing out of the driveway.

I walk over to the couch and let out a big sigh once I've sat down, throwing my head in my hands as a way to ground myself. 

Breathing through this dizzy feeling from that whole confrontation that I had not been prepared for is a lot tougher than I thought it would be, my whole body still buzzing.

I hear Jungkook close the door behind him after having watched her speed down the street, still worried for her safety but also wanting to make sure she was actually gone. What happened just now was enough of a confrontation to last me a lifetime, or at least it feels that way.  

"Hey" he whispers, kneeling in front of me and rubbing my back, "Are you okay?" he continues and I nod my head, feeling the tears prickling in my eyes, calling my bluff.

"Come here" he whispers, sitting on the couch next to me and pulling me onto his lap, rubbing my back again and holding me while I let out some of those tears I had held back.

"I don't even know why I crying" I say, sniffling and sitting back up to dry my eyes.

"No one likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about. Well, nobody sane likes getting into fights with someone they used to care about" he says, trying to lighten the mood and it does the trick making me scoff a bit, smiling at his efforts to make me feel better.

He cups my face and wipes a few tears that had fallen, looking at me with his brows pinched together as if his heart is breaking with mine.

"But you still care about her though, don't you?" he asks and I nod my head. "It's hard not to" I admit, getting off his lap and sitting next to him which makes him angle his body to face mine, taking hold of one of my hands, encouraging me to speak my mind. 

"She's been my best friend for the past six years. That's not something that can magically be turned off for me. I know what she did to me was devastating and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive her for it. I'm still trying to heal from it all so I don't know, I couldn't help but defend myself, and you. I'm sorry you had to see that" I say, mumbling the last part and feeling so much regret for saying those ugly things about his daughter right in front of him. 

"Everyone has a right to defend themselves and when you're being attacked like that, you can't help but say hurtful things. She had no right and she knew that and wanted to hurt the both of us anyway" he says and I take a deep breath before turning my attention back to him because she said just as many hurtful things to him as she did to me.

"Are you okay?" I question, tightening my hold on his hand to hopefully encourage him to be vulnerable with me as well. 

He nods his head with a sad smile and waits a beat before saying anything and I hold my breath until he does. 

"No one wants their daughter to end up in the kind of situation she put herself in or see the people that they care about hurting but what she said didn't hurt me" he says and I nod my head, paying attention to his hand that I have placed in my lap, tracing the swirls of ink with my eyes as they travel further up his arm. 

"What did hurt me though was the way she was talking about you. You know that's not how I feel about you at all right?" he says, tilting my face up towards him making purposeful eye contact with me, needing to know that I believe him. 

"I know" I nod, giving him a sad smile accompanied by my still glossy eyes making him even more sad seeing how upset all of this has made me. 

"Can I do anything to make you feel better?" he asks, cupping my face and keeping my eyes on him when I try to turn them away. "No, I'll be okay" I shake my head and he studies my features before nodding and accepting my words at face value. 

"Okay, do you wanna go back up to my room? You can sleep in there with me if you'd like" he says, brushing a tear dampened strand of hair out of my face. 

I give him a mischievous smile, telling him I know what he's up to but he pulls away and puts his hands up in a way to defend his motives. 

"Just sleep, I promise. Scouts honor" he says, crossing his heart and I laugh at his playfully defensive nature. "Sure" I say, taking hold of his hand while he stands up and leads me back to his bedroom. 

~~~~

After having talked a little bit more about what had happened the topic of conversation circles back to what we had been in the middle of before she showed up. 

"So earlier it seemed like you wanted to ask me a question" I say, taking a sip from my soda that had come with the take out we had ordered hours ago, toying with the straw and keeping his attention. 

"Yeah? And do you know what your answer might be to said question?" he teases, wetting his lips and keeping his eyes trained on mine. 

"You have to ask the questions first Daddy" I say placing my drink down on his nightstand and when I turn to face him again he's tackling me down on the bed peppering kisses all over me. 

"Stoooppp" I giggle and he laughs along with me before leaning back to hover over me. "Will you go out with me?" he asks and I can tell that this whole moment has him feeling like a teenager again.

"I thought you'd never ask" I say, running my fingers through his hair making him lean into my touch. 

"You can't take it back though. Once we do this I won't ever let you go" he husks out, placing a kiss on my palm and I shutter at the feeling. "Then don't" I breathe out making a flame of desire flash through his eyes. 

"You're gonna get yourself in trouble you know that?" he warns, placing a kiss on my nose before getting off me and turning off the tv. "Hey! I was watching that!" I pout "No you weren't" he chuckles. "Plus it's time to go to bed. We've got a big day ahead of us" he says, getting under the covers and motioning for me to do the same. 

"Big day?" I question, not remembering we had something on the agenda this weekend. "I may or may not have planned out our date this morning while you were still in bed Sleeping Beauty" he says, pulling me onto his chest but I sit up pulling away from him with my brows scrunched together. 

"How were you so sure I would say yes?" I scoff, shocked by his bold assumption. "From the way I've been making you moan my name I figured you wouldn't mind going on one date with me in return" he says and my jaw drops, throwing the covers off myself and making a break for it but he yanks me back towards him making me flop down on the bed. 

"You can't just say things like that" I whine, hands over my eyes as a way to block him out of my vision and hide the very apparent blush that I'm sure is starting to bloom. 

"Am I wrong?" he taunts, placing kisses on my neck and collarbone, dangerously close to making me moan his name again. 

"You're no fair" I say, pushing him off and giving him my back making him chuckle at my shy behavior. He lays down and pulls me back into him. My back now against his chest and his hand placed on my hip where I'm again reminded that I'm only wearing his shirt and my underwear. 

"Keep your hands to yourself Mr." I tease while prying his hand off me. "Come on darling, you know I'm a man of my word. Just sleep, nothing else" he says, this time sliding his hand further up to hold onto my bare waist. 

"Fine" I grumble out and he laughs and nuzzles his nose into my neck, taking another deep breath, flooding his senses with my scent. 

"Goodnight Bunny" he mumbles against my skin. "Goodnight Daddy I tease and am rewarded with a slap on my ass. 

"Did, did you just spank me?" I say trying to wiggle out of his hold but he's already got his arm wrapped around my waist again. "I told you that pretty little mouth of yours was gonna get you into trouble didn't I?" he says, switching to rubbing his hand along the tender flesh he just struck, caressing it in a way to ease the pain. 

I pout and settle back into the bed, not dignifying his words with a response. It's only when I accidentally move my hips backwards do I freeze from gaining a soft moan from him, no doubt caught off guard from the contact of my ass up against him. 

"Sorry I didn't mean to I-" "I know Bunny, just go to sleep" he says placing a kiss on my neck and holding my hips in place, putting a little more space between us. 

As I slow my breathing to a steady one I start to lull myself to sleep but I flinch at the sound of his cute snores in my ear. 'Something I'll have to tease him about in the morning' I giggle to myself and take his hand off my hip, choosing instead to hold it against my chest having him surrounding me. Soon I'm slipping into that dreamland he had drifted off to moments before, safe and warm being in his arms.  

prev / next Series Masterlist

Taglist: @jkslipppiercing @trina864 @kaitieskidmore97 @goddesofimortality @coolbluedude @00frenchfries00 @bangtans-momma @coralmusicblaze @pastelpinkjoon @joonwater @marvelbun @j3nni-rs @evidive @beomieboi @forevrglow @jesssssmaybankk @teugiie @chaconnelatte @whoa-jo @snehal @xumyboo @mindurbuzznezz @diorh0seokie

Join my Taglist!

Feel free to fill out the form or just comment on any of my fics to be added :)

[manachiichan]

Sailing against Fate

(Alabasta Saga)

Synopsis: If you want to survive on this world, you have to lean on to the strongest, to your luck, you somehow ended up with the Strawhats.

Pairing: Strawhat Pirates X Isekaid!Fem!Reader

Pre-Timeskip! This takes place during the Alabasta Arc. I planned on making this into a mini series with other scenarios.

|| One Piece Masterlist ||

|| Alabasta Saga Masterlist ||

|| Next Chapter||

It has to be a dream...

One moment ago, you were just studying for your college midterms and the next thing you knew, black spots covered your vision causing you to pass out on your desk. Well maybe passing out was your fault since you stayed up for a whole two days straight with nothing but caffeine to keep you energized.

But how did it comes to this?

"Oi...Are you dead?"

A pair of curious eyes poked your form the moment you started to wake up. A somehow familiar face greets you. Tan skin with a noticable scar on the lower left side of his eye and a straw hat. Unlike him, His crew had a look of suspicion as they surround the two of you.

'No way....'

How come you found yourself staring face to face with the Strawhat pirates?!

"What...?"

You can only gawked in shock. There in flesh were Luffy, Sanji, Nami, Zoro, Usopp, Vivi and Chopper. All staring back at you with a mixed of bewilderment and cautiousness.

"Where....Am I...?"

"Hey....Are you okay?! Stop that! Your hurting yourself!"

You questioned yourself, slightly distraughted.

Sweet Chopper got worried seeing how tightly you started gripping your hair with both of your hands. Because of his natural caring nature as a doctor, he immediately approached and grab your hands to stop you from hurting yourself further.

"Nooo! I can't take my exams now!"

Seeing that Vivi and Karoo are with the crew, you concluded that you were transported during the Alabasta arc. With Chopper already being there, that means that they had already been to Drum Island and are now on their way to stop the war brewing in the sand nation.

The Strawhats were somehow nice enough to let you stay with them for a while, although deep down, you knew it was because of seeing you in your most pathetic state.

Well most likely since you're a woman and Sanji is the type of man that will never deny a damsel in distress.

But ofcourse, you didn't want to end up on any of their bad side, and since they allowed you to stay with them, you decided to atleast try to be useful to help around the ship.

Only to find out that you have zero experience in managing a ship. You can't tie knots nor lift heavy equipments, Chopper had to help you out when the Going Merry's cannon accidentally fell on you.

All you could do was learn by observing others do their tasks, respectively.

Zoro was far more suspicious along with Usopp who was wary of you, so you couldn't ask any of them for any pointers. Nami, tried to teach you how to stir the ship but you somehow managed to get off course, so she had to step in, not after yelling at you ofcourse.

As much as Chopper helped you out whenever you were struggling, he was a bit too afraid to actually talk to you. And you like Sanji, but you hate how he treats you like a delicate and fragile glass to the point that he never let you help out whenever he's nearby.

Luffy and Vivi were the only ones who are normal around you. Luffy being somehow curious with your mannerism and weird habits. You were slightly glad that he was still the Luffy you knew in the show.

"Where did you came from, (Name)?"

He would often ask the most random questions about you. And whenever you answer, you could feel the eyes of the crew lingers your form.

"Some where really far away..."

"But I doubt that I can return back..."

You answered honestly. It had been a few days since you got sent into this world and you still don't understand how you managed to get here. You knew that you don't belong here, and without the Strawhats, you would probably be dead by now.

The Grandline is indeed a terrifying place, so you have to do what you must if you want to survive in this world.

Luckily for you, you read a few isekai mangas along with those popular korean manhwas back in your world. So with your One Piece knowledge, you have a slightly advantage of knowing what will happen next. However, you kept silent of that, as you were still trying to figure out what you were suppose to do.

In the world of pirates, a sane person would ask the crew to drop them off to a nearby island, however you were far from sane.

You are in the One Piece universe, how can you miss all those major event, nor miss the opportunity to meet some of your favorite characters.

There were two options for you, To become a pirate or marine. You did considered trying to join the revolutionary army, but you didn't like people bossing you around as you go on missions.

As much as you want to see the adorable Captain Koby as a marine, you weren't that keen to get beatened up by pirates. What if you meet those famous characters of the series, you'll definitely die.

So your only option is to become a pirate, being already on board the Going Merry. Besides, you doubt Luffy will let you go now that he has taken an interest on you, not that you know what he saw on you anyways.

You stayed up a few nights, trying to recall the future events that might happen soon. You wrote them down on a notebook that Nami gave you, not before giving you an interest of paying her back. She was slightly suprised on how you just smiled and told her that you'll somehow find the berries for it.

And now, your habit of not sleeping came back. It's like your studying your notes for an upcoming quiz again. You wrote down everything you remembered regarding the current arc you were in right now.

But first, you have to earn the crew's trusts. So you made a lot of effort to get to know them.

Their personalities were still the same like how it is on the series. There was also somethings that weren't mentioned yet you were able to notice small details while being around them.

Whenever Luffy goes feral at the sight of meat, he would let out small growls when someone approached him. It became noticeable whenever he's really hungry.

You were never a threat, Zoro saw that. You were just a weird helpless woman who somehow just ended up in their ship. Surely he was cautious around you, but seeing how you trip on your own two feet made him rethink of his assumptions that you were a spy sent by baroque works.

"Please...! Teach me how to fight...!"

At your most desperate tone, you plead Zoro to train you. If you have to survive, then you need to learn how to fight.

"Worry not, Mademoiselle! For I shall be there to protect you from those filthy trolls that dares to lay a even a finger on your delicated skin...!"

Sanji straight up told you with hearts on his eyes as he fawn over you having him as your Prince charming on a white horse. You won't learn anything from him.

"Sorry, (Name). I'm not exactly an adept brawler like Sanji, Luffy or Zoro."

"Fighting is not really my expertise. Just ask the guys about it."

Nami and Usopp aren't really much of a fighter, so they wouldn't be able to help that much. And Luffy is out of the question.

"Fighting? Just throw hard punches like this! Oh wait, you can't stretch..."

As much as you like Luffy, his fighting style is a bit too reckless for your liking and you doubt that he can teach you without getting side tracked.

And you can't just ask Vivi, like Nami, she's more of a dictator rather than a fighter. Surely she can fight, but you doubt using whip like weapons is fit for you.

So Zoro was your last hope. Watching anime for as long as you can remember, swords is something you were familiar of and You always wanted to learn how to use a sword, and Zoro being a skilled swordsman could maybe teach you a thing or two to atleast defend yourself.

"If you're asking for my help, you must have a good reason. But why should I help you..?"

Zoro was still wary of you, yet you can see that he was less hostile than he was when you first ended up at Going Merry's deck.

"Unlike any of you guys here, I'm the most vulnerable...! I'll die the moment the Navy or another pirate ship appears!"

Okay, you could have sworn that you sounded and look like another Usopp in his eyes.

"If you're serious about learning to fight, you'll have to prove your dedication. Show me you're worth the effort, and maybe, just maybe, I'll consider teaching you a thing or two."

Zoro was dead serious. But it also look like he's willing to teach you how to weild a sword if your resolve was strong enough.

"I'll do it! I want to learn how to defend myself. I can't rely on you guys all the time."

Seeing him suddenly grin, you knew you were about to experience hell.

[boytearscore]

why can’t i hate you? — matt sturniolo & chris sturniolo.

summary: being best friends with chris and nick meant the world to you, it also meant you had to deal with their brother’s hate, rudeness, eye rolls, mean comments and coldness all the time. but that didn’t bother you, in fact, it was actually always a pleasure to annoy the shit out of him constantly.

warnings: swearing, enemies to lovers, best friends to lovers, love triangle (not threesome), toxic behavior, angst, comedy, possible smut and of course, strong female lead.

taglist: @sleepysturniolo, @soshere, @spideylovin, @calisturniolo, @ilovecheese09.

author’s note: this chapter was an intense one, hope you guys enjoy reading it just as much i enjoyed writing it. don’t forget to leave your thoughts down below the comments, and of course, have fun!

chapter one here.

chapter two.

chris was the first one to get out of bed, meaning he just open his eyes after trying to sleep the whole night. he didn’t get a fucking blink of rest. first because he was thinking about you, not being able to cope with the fact that he was partially responsible for making you feel at ease and sleep better which meant his touch and presence was good for you.

if his presence and care subconsciously calmed you down, that means it’s worth a shot, right?

he sighs, that leads to the second thing that kept him awake.

matt, of course. that was probably the first time they argued over a girl. they never had the same type, but this isn’t about type. it’s about you. and although he wasn’t sure if his brother had actual romantic feelings, the voice of intuition inside his head screamed yes over and over again.

he grabs his phone on the nightstand next to the bed and checks the time before opening titkok in order to make the thoughts go away, occasionally chuckling at some dumb weird ass videos on his for you page, but that wasn’t working as much as he wanted to. chris ponders for a while, staring at the ceiling and decides it’s best to take a shower, he throws his phone on the bed and slowly gets up, almost crawling to the bathroom.

the boy closes the door behind him, taking his clothes off and grabbing his toothbrush, immediately brushing his teeth as he goes start the shower head, stepping in and letting out a sigh of relief, the warm water relaxing the tense muscles of his back and shoulders. he suddenly catches himself thinking about last night again. both the good and bad events, you’ve been friends for so long and nothing like that happened before, sure, he already had a crush, but the urge to fight for you was definitely unforeseen.

he never thinks twice when it comes to fighting guys that are assholes to you, but that never happened because you knew how to defend yourself pretty well. as a matter of fact, that’s part of the reason why he’s so attracted to you, but that’s besides to point, the thing is that you’ve dated other guys before and he didn’t care about it, it was like he just came to terms with the fact that he never had a chance to begin with, he was convinced no guy will ever be good enough for you, not even him. that’s why he never said anything and… oh, right. also the fact that it could ruin your friendship completely.

however after last night, something changed that led to the conflict inside him. well, not something. someone. his own brother, for the first time in years he saw matthew acting without thinking. the matt from some days ago would never let you get to his head, not the mention the sudden move. he showed interest to literally no girls for a long time, but then tries to kiss you? the one he claims to despise to the core?

chris realized he has been there for more than 10 minutes and if nick finds out, he’d be dead. so, he finishes washing off the shampoo from his hair and the toothpaste foam from his lips, stepping out of the shower and wrapping a towel around his waist before walking over to the mirror and taking a glance at himself while placing his toothbrush inside the holder. he runs a hand through his wet hair falling over his eyes, pushing it back and opening the door still looking at the mirror.

“you’re such a narcissistic.” you said standing at the door frame of the bathroom, arms crossed and a smirk on the lips.

actually, you‘ve been awake for a while, but the house was quiet and you never leave the room when you guys have sleepovers before chris and nick does. you weren’t a very nice person right after waking up and facing matt’s comments in that state would actually turn gruesome really fast. the only reason why you got up was because god gave you the useless talent of distinguishing chris laughter by the way he squeaks. you’re quite proud of it, in secret, of course. knowing him, he was probably on tiktok before heading to the shower, you waited for a while and finally left the guest room exactly when he was about to get out of the bathroom.

your eyes were unconciously catching every detail of him, the wet hair he just brushed back and the few strings still falling over his eyes, making small water drops fall on his chest.

being the closest person to nick and chris probably meant that you already saw them leaving the bathroom after a shower using only a tower over their waist a million times right? wrong.

it’s in fact the first time you see so much of chris body, one thing is to see him shirtless on daily basis, and a whole different when he’s naked, just with a piece of cloth over his… dick.

of course you thought he was hot before, more like acknowledging it and not making it a big deal, after all, he was your best friend, but right now, that didn’t matter. you felt actual attraction to him, real bad. without thinking, you bite your lip, not being able to stop your eyes from casting down, admiring his well figured. his slightly defined torso, his collarbones, his lower stomach and then… his groin.

“like what you see?” his husky voice makes you avert gaze to his stupid cocky smirk, he knew you were thirsting over him.

“maybe.” you murmur smiling, you weren’t scared of exposing yourself, not now, not ever. nick and chris always tease you for having a flirty personality so your response wasn’t a surprise, wherever you start jokingly flirting with him, he would laugh and give right back to you, not taking it seriously.

but this time he didn’t laugh, he leaned closer to you without needing to actually walk, you both were already face to face, thanks to your decision to stand in the door frame, his post shower scent making a funny tingling sensation rush over your body.

chris swallows, his eyes fixed into yours. he loves the way you're always so bold, confident and fucking bossy. it’s a side of you he's seen often at parties you guys go to and even at hangouts, but he never experienced it being directed at him until now, and that makes his confidence grow more and more by second, so he decides to go for it, inclining his whole body against yours, standing so close that drops of water from his wet hair started falling on your chest making you shiver from the coldness. the towel over his waist didn’t not prevent you from looking down.

he catches your gaze drifting down to it before moving back up to his eyes. “sure, that’s definitely a maybe.” he smirks at you, clearly amused by the way you were salivating over him.

“it’s not a secret to anyone you’re hot, is it?” you raise a brow at him, arms crossed. his minty breath against your face making you wonder how good it would feel to kiss him.

“and yet you still feel like it's something worth pointing out." he lifts his hand and gently tugs on the collar of your tank top, pulling you even closer to the point where you actually felt his dick brushing against your stomach.

“meaning?” you know what he meant, but engaging the interaction was actually interesting. you were aware this was affecting him just as much it was affecting you.

chris looks down, his eyes meeting yours. his hand is still grasping the collar of your top, holding you closer to him.

“you know exactly what i mean.”

“i do.” you whisper, shivering with the closeness and following his gaze. “but i want you to say it.”

he glances down at your mouth, his eyes lingering there for a moment before looking back up at you. there’s not a chance of him backing down now, fuck his fears, fuck matt and fuck all of his worries from earlier. you managed to awaken a side of him no one else knew, not even him. he shrugs, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth, this time he only leans his head a bit closer, since it was almost impossible to get his body closer to yours. unfortnunelly.

he goes for your ear, lips brushing against your it as he asks. “you want me to say how much i know you're attracted to me?"

the sensation of his breath on your ear definitely got to you, it was one of your weakest spots and the asshole already knew that because you tell him everything.

but you couldn’t let him get away with it.

“no.” you let your hand cup his face, putting pressure around his chin with your fingers to turn his face to you. “i want you to admit how much you enjoyed the way i just looked at you.” your eyes glued to his and your signature smirk on the lips making him laugh in a mixture of surprise and lust at your forwardness.

“can’t say i didn’t.” you noticed his eyes darkened with a hint of lust when he dropped his gaze, wandering over your partly exposed chest, the tank top so tight he could see the tiny metal balls of your nipple piercings standout, chris feels goosebumps all over, his minding racing with the thought of taking your boobs into his mouth and licking the metallic taste of it while you moan his name. he lets out a soft gasp, the combination of the pressure of your fingers on his face and the friction of his dick brushing against your stomach not helping.

“like what you see?” you ask noticing how lost he was in thoughts and he frowns, feeling annoyed because you used his words against him. no matter how much anyone tries to make you lay your guard down, to get a shy reaction or even a stutter from you, it has never worked and he wanted badly to be the first one actually doing so, but he figured this wasn’t the timing. plus he was starting to get hard and if nick or matt walked on you both, things would get really awkward.

“there’s no winning against you, huh?” chris chuckles softly, taking a step back and you laugh a little trying to hide your disappointment from him.

“that’s because guys are weak.” you say loosening the grip on his chin and rolling your eyes, he just gives you a “whetever” face and heads to his room, pretending he wasn’t about to throw up his own heart.

you watch him until he gets to his room, a pleasant grin across your lips. all these years being friends with chris, he never really tried anything like that before. as a matter of fact, you didn’t even know he was so confident, he’s usually sweet and nonserious around you so that left you impressed and surprised… in a good way.

you shrug thinking that was definitely interesting and turns to the hall, the intention was to go to the living room but that didn’t go as planned when your face bumped aggressively into something hard as rock.

you hated that you instantly knew.

ever since last night's incident, tiny fragments got stuck with you. his scent, his presence and the warmth of his body. it's almost like you suddenly developed the power of being able to recognize him just by your skin touching his.

it was fucking matt.

you sigh, dealing with matthew right now wasn’t what you wanted. not because you felt intimidated by him, but because you didn’t want to play his little games today.

he gives you the usual mocking stare and smirk, crossing his arms.

here we go. you thought, ready to roll your eyes at whatever childish comment he was about to make and not engage.

but he just stood there for a while, arms folded, his usual stone cold demeanor ever present. he looked at you with a mix of irritation and annoyance, but beneath that, you could tell something else seemed to be lurking. for a second you thought he wasn’t gonna say anything and prepared yourself to go on your way, but his piercing gaze remained fixated on you, that made you stay for some reason.

and then he spoke.

“you can’t control your hormones or something?” he almost yelled. “always flirting with everyone, now even with chris.” matt laughs ironically and asks you. “isn’t that what they call a bop, though?”

you can’t help but laugh right back at him in the exact same tone, like, really loud.

of course he would use that term at some point, he was just like that type of guy. so you decided to play the game, anyways.

you get closer to him not giving a shit about how you were crossing his physical boundaries since he crossed yours first a night ago.

“not really.” you whisper to him, eyes piercing cold directly into his. “it’s called being confident and taking risks to enjoy life without denying your own true desires.” you lean even closer, not breaking eye contact for a second and giving him your best fake smile. “but what would you know about that, right?” at this point, the fake smile turned into a satisfied one with the feeling of already knowing that what you were about to say was gonna make him incredibly mad. “you couldn’t even admit to yourself how much you wanted to kiss me last night and just ran away to your room like a pussy.” you scoff and walk to the living room still looking at him as you leave, letting a dumbfounded matt behind.

chris was right.

there’s no winning against you. and never will be.

[songmingisthighs]

Pitiful, You're Pitiful

<< prev | fic m.list | next >>

ch. vi

group : ateez

pairing : aged up!wooyoung × aged up!reader

genre : angst, mature

word count : 2.8 k

warning : argument, mentions of cheating, negative depiction of wooyoung, mentions of loss, calling an adulteress an assortment of names, idk what else tbh lmk if there is anything else I should add

a/n : I FINALLY UPDATED !!!!! this chapter might be slightly shorter compared to the others but trust me when I say it's very much intentional because I just want to focus this chapter on this one specific interaction. some sort of catalyst or like break from the obliteration of pyp!woo's image ig lmaooooo BUT YAY I DIDN'T FORGET TO POST PYP THIS MONTH !!!!

buy me coffee ?

After the fiasco that was your unveiling of a VERY important information about a staff of the academy, Wooyoung was immediately pulled in to get his side of the story. And of course, unfortunately, you. Luckily, you didn't get chastised by anyone because you were CLEARLY the victim in this situation. Heck, the HR team even reached out to apologize to you for the inconvenience you experienced due to their staff's "misconduct" because you're one of the founders's wives. It was an interesting way of saying that their staff is a cheating whore without any redeeming value but you'll take what you can get out of them and the situation. Which also includes his own friend group contacting you every now and then to make sure that you are okay and some (Yunho, Mingi, and Jongho) even going as far as swearing to denounce their familial relations with Wooyoung which was sweet.

Speaking of Wooyoung, he had been shoved into the heap of horseshit that he had piled on himself. You honestly have never seen him so down because he was "suggested" to take an extra two weeks of break to "settle down from the issue" which was really code for HR still having to clean up his mess because Harin decided to not go quietly. From what you heard from a reliable source (Jongho over pastry and coffee after he ditched his vocal classes to gossip), Harin came back the day after she officially got fired and made a ruckus. Literally, she went crazy and made a mess of the lobby; throwing chairs and tables around, scattering pamphlets, breaking vases, and screaming random weird things like how the company is a misogynist for firing a woman for something that was beyond her control. Safe to say, because Harin refused to move to a quieter spot, Hongjoong had to step in and reiterate all the mistakes she had made including but not limited to her having an affair with a married man who was her boss. Hongjoong had even told her that while there was another party involved, another party that acknowledged the mistakes that he had made and agreed to accept whatever disciplinary actions were required, it was also her choice to partake in such behavior. Long story short, a student uploaded the whole thing on YouTube and as of today, there were 15 different TikTok remixes ranging from EDM, screamo, and even a Donald Trump edit. Without Jongho pointing it out, you could imagine that Harin's career in South Korea was over, not because of the cheating, but because of her disorderly conduct.

You found yourself spending time rather peacefully in recent times which was surprising since your house seems to always be in a state of chaos. For once, Wooyoung didn't try to make you talk to him or about him. In fact, he had the decency to be very considerate of you and your feelings, particularly about being in the same room as him. It made you feel slightly bad to be honest because although you both were going through something, he was in the middle of being the butt of the joke and jab by everyone at the company. It was sad and pathetic but also very much deserved. Sure you sometimes found his isolation to be sad, pathetic, and downright pitiful, but then you remember what he did and you remembered how he put himself in that position without even considering the repercussions.

The same could be said about Dayoung. Well, only in the sense of her isolation seemingly from the rest of the world. Your outgoing, extroverted daughter seemed to spend a good chunk of time locking herself inside her room after school. Usually, you would have to turn into a negotiator three times a week just to get your daughter to come home right on her curfew. This time around, you had a worse time trying to get her out, even making her run some errands just so she could get some fresh air. It wasn't until a while later that Wooyoung clued in on why Dayoung was acting like that. The way you went off on Wooyoung for breaking the news in such a manner without you present or even consulting you. You did try to understand that maybe he just... slipped or that he was so emotional that it just slipped out but the point stood that he waited until you were trying to piece things together to finally tell you. Yet another secret he kept from you. Considering the frequency of things he said but hid away from you, you had to think if this was some sort of behavioural pattern that he hadn't exhibited even if you both had been married for quite a long time. Maybe he had became a master a suppressing it and all it took was you forcing the truth out of him to make said behavior to come back to the surface.

On the other hand, Woohyun was turning into a more mature and responsible version of himself. the day you both came home from confronting the slut, Woohyun became so very helpful towards you. The first thing he did was took your bag and brought it over to the kitchen table before he dashed to the bathroom to wash his hands, cleaning himself up before you had to tell him to. Then he made himself very available for you by making sure that he spent almost every single waking or available moments with you. When you;re in the kitchen doing the dishes or cooking, he would be on the counter or the dining table doing his homework. Sometimes he would even try to do chores like one time he tried to help you bringing his sister's laundry basket from the second floor and he ended up scattering everything down the stairs. Woohyun was upset and worried that you would be mad but instead, you laughed it up and helped him clean up before teaching him how to carry items that are heavier than him down. Although you couldn't find it in yourself to bring it up in case you ended up accidentally telling him yourself, you had a feeling that Woohyun was trying to distract you from the reality of what was going on with your husband in his own way. One of the things that solidified your assumption was the fact that Woohyun had limited contact with his dad significantly. The two of them used to spend time together playing games or pulling pranks on one another and even on you or Dayoung but he had suddenly refuse to spend elective time with Wooyoung no matter how much Wooyoung tried to negotiate with him with everything that he got. Despite that, Woohyun dudb't lose respect for his dad.

"Mom?"

You almost dropped the plate you were washing when you heard a voice come up from the doorway. It was surprising to see Dayoung standing there, timid like a deer because she was always happy, lively, and rambunctious, even straight-up disrespectful to you, your space, and your boundaries. But never this. She had been so... quiet for a week and it would've made you freak out had it not been for Wooyoung letting you know that Dayoung knew. That was all he said, she knew. You did not know what had gotten over you to not deck Wooyoung right then and there but he should absolutely consider himself a lucky bastard.

The sight of your own daughter standing there made you feel... anxious. You probably (most likely) should not be afraid of a bitty teenager, but how can you not? It's not like you thought that she was going to attack you or worse, ask you to give Wooyoung a sponge bath. But you just never saw your daughter this... Muted. It was as if she had stepped into an old TV where there was nothing but black and white. You silently wished that Woohyun had not gone to the zoo with his playdate friends because he would be a great buffer. Or witness for whatever that was bound to happen.

"D-do you need help with the dishes?" She asked, stepping closer to you slowly. At first, you were surprised, not exactly expecting that the first thing she would say was an offer to help you with a chore. But, you welcomed her with a smile and nodded, stepping to the side so she could come next to you and start wiping down the washed dishes.

There were no words exhchanged between the two of you for the first five minutes or so but it wasn't awkward. It was the first time that the silence was peaceful when it was just the two of you. Usually, the silence would always only come from Dayoung and it was because she was mad at you for something. Not at you and Wooyoung, just you. You were always the receiver of her animosity even when she was mad at her dad for whatever insignificant reason there could be, but this time was different.

"Mom..." she called you suddenly but what came next surprised you instead, "I'm sorry," she started, not looking at you which was unfortunate because you were staring at her with a very priceless dumbfounded expression. "I- I- what?" "I'm sorry for... This, my part in... Whatever's going on with you and dad. I'm really sorry for making you take care of him. Had I known, I wouldn't have made you take him in," she confessed and you could see that she was starting to tear up. Your heart broke and you really wanted to pull her in and give her the biggest hug that you could muster just to show your support for her but you knew that it would just make yourself feel better for accomplishing something and not actually help her feel better. So you took a step closer to her and breathed out a sigh of relief when she didn't push you away. "I'm really, really, REALLY sorry mom. He's the worst husband ever," she sniffed which made you chuckle as you blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall, "Well, I would say that Emperor Peter, Catherine the Great's husband is a far worse husband than your father."

Your attempt at making light of the situation was met with Dayoung squinting her eyes at you. "Mom, I'm serious. I've heard about my friend's dad cheating but not like this. Not in your situation, and not with someone dumb enough to think she can substitute a hand wrap for martial arts with boob tapes," she scoffed, annoyed. You sighed and shrugged, "Well, people are complicated, sweetie. I... I'm not mad, annoyed, or angry that you wanted me to take care of your dad because, in retrospect, it WAS the absolute right thing to do. I mean, your dad was injured and he's facing such a hard time at work. It would be absolutely wrong to just toss him to someone else. Who would we even toss him to? His friend? His parents?" "His whore, mom. We could've tossed him out and have his whore handle him."

The very second the words left Dayoung's mouth, your eyes widened and your neck snapped in her direction to see her frowning, staring up at you. "He's a cheating bastard and we have the right to not even be in contact with him anymore," she curtly stated. "Jung Dayoung," you started shakily. Dayoung simply shook her head to cut you off, "No, mom, oh my God, you need to stop being a doormat." "Dayoung!" you exclaimed, surprised that she was able to say such a thing and perhaps slightly offended. "It's true! God, mom, how long have you known that he has a side piece who's as dumb as a bag of rocks? How long have you held everything in and just let him walk all over you? He fucking CHEATED on you mom! When you were so down in the dumps to the point that you couldn't even take care of yourself properly! You used Woohyun and I as a distraction, shoving all the attention and care to what, fill in the void over the loss of my would've-been sibling? And where was he? He was with some other woman because he is the worst of the worst and I will never forgive him for what he did to our family!"

Maybe it was the volume of her voice or the massive weight of her words but you felt your blood boiling and before you even realized it, you had shoved a plate into the sink and you were huffing, "Jung Dayoung that's enough, you should not talk about your father that way." "Why? Why shouldn't I, mom? My God, this is the first time in like, maybe ever that I'm standing up for you, this is me protecting you and yet you're still trying to make excuses for that pathetic son of a bitch who betrayed his family!?" "He did not betray our family, okay? He betrayed me, Dayoung!"

Just like it was the first time Dayoung defended you, you had experienced your first time screaming at her and to say that she was scared was an understatement. Dayoung shut her mouth and stared at you with sadness in her eyes because she had yet to comprehend why you were still trying to stand up for your cheating husband.

"Your dad did nothing to our family, sweetie. He did this to me," you sighed, closing your eyes and exhaling shakily as you used both of your hands to hold onto the counter to stabilize yourself. "Sure, he might have altered the dynamic and whatever else in our family but he... What he did was nothing against our family but it was just against me. At least, that's what I think. I don't think I have it in me to find out exactly why he did what he did because I'm weak, Dayoung. I'm a coward like that." you turned to her and shed a tear, breaking Dayoung's heart as she realized just how strong you were all this time.

"Then why, mom? Why are you still letting him off?" Dayoung asked, her voice cracking. You tearily chuckled and shrugged, "Who said that I am? I'm doing this, ALL of this, not because I want to. I did it, because for the longest time, that was what we have agreed on in our marriage. He deal with the monetary stuff and I deal with the family stuff. As much as it hurts, no matter if I like it or not, he is still my family because his behavior be damned, he... He gave me you and your brother and that is something I would never regret. For that, I will always be thankful to him and that is also why you should still respect your father. You can be mad at him, you can be hurt by what he did, but your respect should be non-negotiable not because he deserved it, but because your dad an I taught you better than that. He truly loves you, Dayoung. He might not love me anymore but you and Woohyun are the apples of his eyes, you are his stars in the dark night sky, and you are the best thing he had and would ever achieve. Do you understand me?"

Dayoung groaned and dropped her head on your shoulder as she wrapped her arms around your waist. "Damn it mom, why do you have to make it hard for me to unleash my wrath on him?" You couldn't help but chuckle and return her hug, "Sorry sweetie, part of my job is to make sure you grow up to be a decent human being and sometimes I have to make or say things you don't like," you chuckled, making Dayoung roll her eyes but nudge her hips with yours.

As you spend a heartwarming moment with your daughter, you can't help but let your mind slip and travel somewhere else. You couldn't help but think about how you and Dayoung would probably not have experienced such a changing moment in your life. So as much as you hate it, there was a silver lining in this whole shenanigan.

Beyond the heartwarming scene in the kitchen, alone in the dark and cold emptiness of the living room, Wooyoung stood with his back to the wall. Having come down when he heard the commotion, Wooyoung initially thought he might have to step in to get Dayoung off your back. But when he heard you yell back at Dayoung, he stopped in his tracks and debated If he should stay or leave until his interest was piqued and he ended up listening in on the conversation which left him feeling broken down. Despite the gnawing pain that made him feel like he couldn't breathe, he knew he deserved that and more. He should not complain and instead, he should just accept the harsh truth. Not just the facts that you laid out to Dayoung, but also the truth that your action further proved that he was truly the devil in this equation. And perhaps he doesn't deserve to be forgiven.

network :

@cultofdionysusnet @sandsofire @kflixnet @pirateeznet

taglist :

@atinyreads @strawberry-yeo @soobiverse @vixensss @smally97 @maidens-world @yunhoswrldddd @imcoenffl @nescaffei @miaatiny @showmehoseok @tmingi @wlv-asteria @sunwoosbaby @hyukssunflower @remi-young @roguesthetic

@staytiny816 @dearinsaniiity @scentednerdenemy

permalist :

@kodzukein @phenomenalgirl9 @skzatzloveismonsterous @memorymonster @surveilenceysystem @dreamlesswonder86 @maddiebabyxoxo @imababywolf @do-you-actually-care @marievllr-abg @ilsedingsx @wasteitonserendipity @bbymatz @noonaishere @honeyhwaaa @ateezourstars @yoonjunshi @yoongiigolden @camillelafaye @charreddonuts @kpopnightingale @starryunho @atinct @mirror-juliet @hyuckilstan @jayb17

[flowerandblood]

The Fall from the Heavens (25)

[ canon • Aemond x Strong • niece female ]

[ warnings: angst, tension, anxiety, a lot of half-truths ]

[ description: A cool distance turns into friendship and more when two children see that they can find refuge and understanding in each other. However, naïve dreams collide with the reality in which every event has consequences and what once could have been love becomes a dark, newly painful obsession. Angst, sexual tension, obsession, violence, madness, very dark Aemond. ]

The story in this series is an alternate reality from the oneshot Stay and love, leave and die, in which Aemond reads the letters his niece has sent to him over the years. They are the same characters and it shows what would have happened between them − I have changed the background story from their childhood slightly for the sake of the plot.

Characters & Series Moodboard Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Moodboard Aemond & Lady Strong Childhood

Author note: For the purposes of this story, Lord Rodrik Arryn had a son and an heir, who in turn has a son of his own, to whom our Lady Strong was betrothed. I invented the lullaby in this chapter, so if you think it's weird, thank me, lol.

* English is not my first language. Please, do not repost. Enjoy! *

Next chapters: Masterlist

_____

After what he heard, he just vomited, unable to stop the convulsions that were squeezing his stomach, the rapid pounding of his heart or his terrified, ragged breathing. He could feel tears of despair and fear running down his cheeks as he coughed once more, panting heavily over the vessel − he felt like his whole body was twitching.

You will betray her at the moment she trusts you the most.

You will achieve victory, but she will never let you touch herself again.

You will put your child inside me, your bastard son, who will rule Harrenhal after our death.

He felt his stomach twist again in pain at the mere memory – he leaned over the bowl, feeling the gag reflex shake his body once more, but nothing left his throat.

He cried out loudly as if he were a small child, covering his face with his hand, leaning over the table, thinking about how much he needed his wife right now.

How much he wanted to snuggle between her soft, sweet breasts, to feel her smooth, warm hands stroking his hair, her heart beating beneath his cheek.

He drew in a loud breath, reminding himself that he had left her alone and that any moment spent in this disgusting place could have been her last; he reached for the cup of wine, rinsed his mouth a few times and spat the contents into the bowl, washing his face with fresh water, trying to calm himself.

This was part of their game, he thought, feeling his terror slowly begin to be replaced by fury.

He was sure Larys Strong had made her say it because he wanted him to believe that what was to come was destiny, not his and his grandfather's plan.

They wanted to manipulate him, to force him to leave her, to strip her of his protection, to destroy her.

No, he thought.

He was no longer a small child.

He left the fortress feeling that he had again unwittingly become the cold, empty stone he had been for eight years when she had not been with him, recognising that he had to keep a cool head.

He could not allow himself to be weak now.

He knew that if he just looked at her, if he just saw her face again and remembered what that woman had said to him he would simply burst into sobs, so to her disappointment he pretended not to see her.

The journey to the Eyrie, although spent in full sun and short, was unbearable for him and dragged on endlessly; he felt that waves of thoughts, suppositions and versions of events flowed through his mind one after another, causing complete chaos in his head.

What if Rhaenyra did not agree despite his lie?

What if she agrees, but demands the head of his grandfather and mother?

Whoever he was, his grandfather was his kin, his blood; all his life he had fought for them and their rights even if he himself often despised him.

How should he behave in such a situation so as not to let her down?

To fight? Declare war on them? Let her decide for herself once again which side she would stand on this time?

He pressed his forehead to the front of his saddle, clenching his hands on the ropes he held in his fist, feeling that he was descending into madness.

As they landed in the valley below the fortress he slid off his saddle, thinking that he had to share his plan with her, lest she accidentally say something herself that might destroy their credibility.

"− uncle −" She began, walking towards him, her face all pink and sweaty from exertion, unruly strands of her hair clinging to her skin.

His heart pounded harder.

You will come back here to face your nephew and you will take me, because you will decide that I am similar to her enough to satisfy your pain and longing.

You will put your child inside me, your bastard son, who will rule Harrenhal after our death.

He swallowed loudly, feeling that his vision was blank, his hands clenched into fists.

"− we'll tell them you're expecting my child −" He said coolly, sidestepping her, heading ahead, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible − he heard her draw in a loud breath as she moved immediately after him, terrified, trying to keep up with him.

"− what? − Aemond, we can't lie, not now −" She muttered, clearly terrified by this vision − he pressed his lips together into a thin line, furious that she was making this all even more difficult.

"− they must agree to our terms − I will not discuss my decisions with you −" He growled impatiently and stopped when her silhouette appeared in front of him – her palms slapped against his chest, a fury in her eyes that startled him.

"− you will − you don't know them as well as you do − Daemon can sense the lie, he will see it in your eyes − do you think that once they understand that you are manipulating them they will agree to whatever conditions you set for them? −" She asked with an irritation in her voice that he didn't like; he felt a cold sweat on his neck at the unbearable thought that she was partly right.

Fuck.

He stared at her for a moment, breathing heavily, feeling like he was about to faint, another disturbing thought flashed through his mind.

What had that whore said to her?

"− that fucking witch − what did she say to you? −" He asked uneasily, wanting to be sure she wasn't trying to manipulate his wife the way she was trying to manipulate him.

His Rhaenys blinked rapidly and swallowed hard, as if his question made her uncomfortable − he felt an unpleasant twinge in his stomach at the sight.

"− that we should not return to Harrenhal − that I should watch out for myself and trust no one −" She muttered, and he felt his heart stop.

That we should not return to Harrenhal.

That I should watch out for myself and trust no one.

She warned her.

Why?

He felt that he understood absolutely none of this; the woman's behaviour seemed to make no sense to him, but that wasn't the worst of it.

The worst part was the thought that perhaps she really believed what she said.

That perhaps she really did see his betrayal and what he would do next in her dream or in the fire.

He stood watching her like a small, frightened child who was afraid to tell a parent that he had stolen and destroyed their favourite book unwillingly, who was afraid to admit his guilt for fear of punishment and what it entailed.

She must have seen what was happening to him in his gaze because she walked over to him and touched his upper arms, her scent, the smell of vanilla reached his nose.

"− husband, what happened? − if you have doubts, let's discuss everything − but please don't close yourself in the fortress of your mind −" She muttered pleadingly, her voice warm and calm, soothing, as if she understood that he was afraid.

That thought, the realisation that she knew him well enough that he couldn't hide from her what was happening inside him made him feel even worse.

He thought she would loathe him forever.

He swallowed hard as she cupped his cheeks between her hands and closed his eyes, feeling himself tremble all over, focusing only on her closeness.

"− uncle − look at me − I am your ally − I always have been −" She whispered tenderly making another wave of heat and fear surge through his body at the same time, causing something inside him to crack.

"You're your parents' child too. Just like me. What will you do when one of them demands the other's head?" He asked coldly, feeling his heart pounding like mad − he felt like he could hear in his ears the fast pumping of blood through his veins.

His wife furrowed her brows, shaking her head as if she did not understand what he had just said to her.

"− I will never agree to this − despite what your grandfather and your mother did to me, I will not agree for them to be harmed if you assure me to do the same − you know that I am not driven by revenge − and you? − you are the one who constantly doubts me, however, ever since I appeared in King's Landing you have been the one to let me down − yet I remain faithful to you − I chose you, uncle, when will you understand it? − when will you understand that there is no other way for me but by your side even if I come to burn? −"

She said in a trembling, angry, breaking voice from which a shiver ran down his back; he looked at her in disbelief feeling his body filled with guilt and shame.

You are the one who constantly doubts me, however, ever since I appeared in King's Landing you have been the one to let me down.

She was right.

She welcomed him with open arms despite the fact that he hadn't answered her letters for eight years; she didn't show him any kind of resentment, she didn't demand an apology from him, she lavished him with understanding and tenderness when he needed it, wanting to make things right.

It was he who betrayed her when Aegon became King.

It was his mother who forced her to drink the moon tea.

He was the one who made her try to take her own life.

He was the one who kept her locked up like a prisoner.

And yet, it was he who perpetually accused her in his head of the possibility of betrayal, as if he was just waiting for it.

For an excuse to decide that this was never going to succeed.

Despite this, she was now standing in front of him, being on his side, willing to fight alongside him for a future for them.

He felt a squeeze in his throat at this realisation, at the thought that there was never any other way for him than the one that would always lead him to her, to his beloved, to his friend.

To his Rhaenys.

He lifted his hand, in some subconscious gesture of tenderness and closeness placing an unruly strand of her dark hair behind her ear, looking at her pretty face, at her bright, shining eyes, at her long lashes, at her swollen, moist lips − everything that belonged to him, that he could take every night.

He felt his manhood twitch in his breeches at the thought.

"Can I kiss you?" He heard her whisper and looked at her, seeing that she was staring at him exactly as she had then, that day when she had come to his chamber as a child, holding a small book clutched to her chest in her hands.

He leaned towards her without a word and closed his eyes, sighing in relief when her plump, soft lips pressed against his in a sweet, sticky kiss; she pulled away from him, stroking his cheeks and hair with her hands, but it wasn't enough for him.

"One more time."

He moaned into her mouth and locked her in the tight, strong embrace of his arms as her lips pressed against his again, this time as if she wanted to devour him, her wet, swollen lips sucking and licking him making him completely hard; he felt the lust, the hot feeling he shared with her shake his body as his eyes involuntarily filled with tears at the thought of what he had heard.

You will take me, because you will decide that I am similar to her enough to satisfy your pain and longing.

You will put your child inside me.

But he wanted her.

He wanted his childhood friend.

His lover, his companion, his joy.

She filled his heart with herself so much that there was no room in it for any Visenya.

"I love you." He muttered helplessly, feeling the words leave his throat without the participation of his free will. "I've always loved you."

He felt her gasp loudly at his words as her body trembled in his arms; his heart squeezed tight with pain as she wept quietly.

"− I feel that some weight has crushed you, my beloved − it covers you like a heavy black cloak − but I am by your side − I am with you − trust me − I know how to speak with them, I know them −" She mumbled out looking at him with a hot gaze full of affection from which he felt that nothing mattered anymore, that he couldn't fight himself or what only she could do.

He was completely helpless against her.

"− will you be by my side even when all is lost? − even if there is nothing left but darkness? −" He asked in a breaking voice, and she smiled, so sweetly, tenderly, joyfully that his hands clenched tighter on her body.

"− yes − don't go the path I could not follow − let me stay by your side − if I am to leave this world, I want to die in your arms −" She whispered softly, and he felt that it was over for him, that whatever he had been thinking about a moment ago, it didn't matter.

"− so be it − fall with me −" He breathed out, before his lips pressed greedily into hers, his fingers digging into the material of her leather coat enclosing her in his tight embrace, their tongues colliding with each other, licking with their soft sighs of pleasure.

He thought, panting hard into her throat, caressing her with a loud click of their saliva, that he could take her now, on the grass, in front of everyone, and fuck her so hard that the whole Eyrie would hear.

This, however, did not happen.

The sight of her would-be betrothed was the last thing he wanted to see − Ronnel Arryn seemed to him to be a boastful and self-obsessed man, focused only on the tonnage of his muscles and how he presented himself.

His grin full of mockery which he threw back at him, looking at the left side of his face made him involuntarily think how pleasant it would be to just slit his throat.

He remembered why they were actually there when they walked into the circular chamber where his uncle and half-sister were waiting for them − he pressed his lips into a thin line seeing that his sister-whore dared to wear his father's crown on her head.

He said nothing.

As his wife threw herself into her mother's arms, he glanced at Daemon; his uncle stood back leaning lazily against the wall, his chin lifted slightly in some sort of challenge, a lazy, mocking smirk on his face.

"Let's sit down." He heard his sister's voice at last, but he had no intention of obeying her orders; so he stood, looking at his uncle, who also had not moved from his place, stroking the handle of his Dark Sister thoughtfully.

"My husband has conveyed to me that my brother-usurper wants to pact over the succession of the throne he himself has unlawfully taken. I must admit that this is a quite ridiculous situation." Rheanrya began, and he rolled his eyes, feeling frustrated and impatient. His wife threw him a quick, frightened glance − he, however, just looked at her, letting her speak.

He decided that he would trust her.

His niece grunted loudly and looked at her mother, adjusting herself in her seat, tense.

"My uncle, Prince Aegon, had no choice. His mother is deeply convinced that her husband, my grandfather, and our King, revealed his final will to her before he died. She mentioned to my uncle about the Prince who was promised, about Aegon's dream. I think she misunderstood him, mother, I…" She paused as Rheanyra looked quickly in Daemon's direction − he and his wife exchanged quick, shocked glances between themselves.

He furrowed his brow, feeling discomfort in his pit, wondering what they knew that might have escaped his attention.

Her mother looked at her again, some strange glint in her gaze.

"Mother?"

"Aegon the Conqueror's Dream. A Song of Ice and Fire. This is the prophecy my father spoke to me about. Whatever Alicent heard, it did not apply to her firstborn son." She said in a trembling voice, as if it was obvious to her.

He felt rage at the thought that their father had shared with his daughter some prophecy, a future that was to befall their lineage, but did not consider them, his sons, worthy of the privilege.

Humiliation, shame and anger surged through his body making his words involuntarily leave his lips.

"You mean to say that our father only conveyed the contents of this prophecy to you, but you don't believe my mother that he could have passed on to her that he changed his mind regarding the succession?" He growled, his sister and uncle throwing him quick, warning glances.

"Calm down, nephew. You are speaking to the Queen." Daemon reminded him, and he looked at him with rage.

"She is not my Queen." He hissed, his hand sliding down to the hilt of his sword when he saw Daemon's fingers tighten around his Dark Sister.

"That's enough. We have met here because Aegon realises, as you do Mother, that his and your children's rights to the throne will be challenged, and the war will not end with your death." His wife interjected, startling him as did the rest of those gathered, his heart began to pound like mad.

What?

"Are you undermining Jace, my firstborn son's right to the throne?" Her mother asked in a trembling tone, clearly not believing what she was suggesting.

Her daughter drew in a loud breath and swallowed hard before answering her.

"He's a bastard, mother. Like me, Luke and Joffrey, he cannot inherit the throne. Will you cut off my tongue for those words? Will you deprive me of my head, father?"

He looked at her with his lips slightly parted, feeling that his mind was not yet able to comprehend fully what she had actually done.

She continued, however, as if the words were pouring out of her like a river.

"We just lie and lie and lie until in the end we ourselves don't know where the truth lies, but it is there somewhere, always, and sooner or later none of us will be able to deny it even if we beheaded all the men in the Seven Kingdoms."

He felt a surge of satisfaction and warm affection shake his body at her words, at her proof that she understood him, understood his pain, understood why her brothers could not be heirs to the throne.

How could he ever doubt her?

Her mother and stepfather seemed as shocked as he was, unable to get a word out.

"How dare you say such a thing? Your father, Laenor Velaryon, has recognised you and your brothers as his heirs. He gave you his name, he recognised you as his child in the eyes of the kingdom." Her mother muttered, clearly heartbroken that her own daughter was challenging her words.

"But the whole Kingdom knows, mother. Even if Jace were to sit on the throne after your death, his lineage will not be forgotten. Are you prepared to die knowing that neither he nor his children will ever be safe? That, like my uncle's coronation, his coronation would also be challenged by lords across the Kingdom?" She asked in pain, as if she herself could no longer bear what was happening, how far they had gone in pretending what was the truth and what was a lie.

He thought that he himself would not have put into words better what he thought and acknowledged with pride that his wife was a great speaker.

That even he would have hesitated and reconsidered what she had said if he had heard the arguments spoken in this way.

"I know what humiliation you experienced, mother, and how much suffering you endured. Believe me that I did too. I, too, do not believe my grandfather would change his mind on his deathbed. I did not and do not recognise Aegon as King, nor have I ever called him that or given him the honour he deserves.

However, if we do not find an agreement, war will break out not only in the Realm, but in our family. This is what King Viserys wanted to prevent at the last supper before his death. Mother, after all, you are siblings. Your brother, though a traitor, extends his hand, he is ready to relinquish the crown he stole from you."

An awkward silence fell; Rhaenyra looked over her shoulder at her husband, apparently seeking his advice. His uncle stared at her with clenched lips, clearly believing that she should fight for her rights no matter what − even at the cost of war.

His half-sister looked at her daughter again and swallowed hard.

"I can consider the terms my husband has conveyed to me, but I also have my conditions. I will agree that it is your children who will inherit the Iron Throne, and you will be named as ruler-regents only if there are two kings, and you will be one of them.

You and your husband will share the power of the Kingdom equally and neither of you will sit on the throne or wear the crown. Aegon the Conqueror's crown and my father's crown will be kept in the treasury.

In addition, my husband and I will sit on the Small Council, and deprived of their seats will be your grandfather and Alicent. In addition, Otto Hightower will be stripped of all other functions and privileges and will reside under our oversight in King's Landing.

Jace will inherit Dragonstone as my first-born son. If no male heir is born to you, the official heirs will be the children from my and my uncle's marriage, pureblood Targaryens."

He stared at her wide-eyed, feeling the cold sweat on his back, his heart pounding like mad as his mind tried to quickly analyse what he had heard.

I will agree that it is your children who will inherit the Iron Throne, and you will only become ruler-regent if there are two kings, and you will be one of them.

You and your husband will share power in the kingdom equally and neither of you will sit on the throne or wear the crown. Aegon the Conqueror's crown and my father's crown will be kept in the treasury.

She wanted the kingdom to be ruled by two kings.

She wanted him and her daughter to have the same title, the same privileges.

He saw his niece look at him, her eyes big with terror, filled with fear of how he would react.

No, he thought.

She was no longer her daughter.

She was no longer a bastard.

She was his wife.

When he had covered her shoulders with the cloak with his family crest she had officially taken his name, and who her father was no longer mattered.

Although he knew that the name her mother had given her was different, to him she was Rhaenys.

Rhaenys Targaryen.

His childhood friend, a woman he trusted, respected, loved, whose opinion and letters he had held deep in his heart for years, whom he would have consulted if he had become king-regent anyway.

The thought that she would stand by his side, that she would help him carry this burden, that she would be like a second, necessary pillar to support the whole crumbling structure that was their family, filled him, to his surprise, not with frustration but relief.

He nodded his head.

His wife sighed quietly, looking at him with hope, turning her gaze to her mother. Rhaenyra's eyes welled with tears of grief and sorrow as she nodded, sealing her decision.

She had agreed.

Gods, she agreed.

"Pass on my words to my brother. Let him know that this is not just about my pride, but about the welfare of the Kingdom and our family. That I respect my father's will and hope that he will do the same." She said dispassionately and he nodded, feeling his whole body quiver with emotion, his hands clasped behind his back clenched into fists.

"You are surely exhausted. My cousin has prepared chambers for you where you can rest to set off on your return journey as we will tomorrow morning. Let us have supper together. I have been separated from my one daughter for too long." She said matter-of-factly and he swallowed hard feeling that he had completely frozen.

No.

None of them could stay here.

He couldn't propose that they fly to King's Landing knowing that they would surely disagree, so in desperation he proposed something that shocked everyone, including himself.

"No." He said coolly. "We'll spend the night in Dragonstone."

His niece beamed all over, her cheek blushing with happiness, as if she didn't believe his words.

"Do you mean it?" She asked sweetly like a little child to whom he had just given a wonderful surprise.

He felt a squeeze in his throat at the thought.

"Yes." He replied calmly, glancing at his uncle, who was squinting, watching him intently. "As an expression of my goodwill."

Daemon tapped the tip of his tongue against the wall of his cheek and hummed under his breath, a tense silence fell between them.

His wife was right.

He had the feeling that his gaze was piercing him to the core.

He muttered under his breath and looked at his wife − Rhaenyra, like his niece, seemed shocked by his proposal, but also pleased at the prospect of her daughter returning to her family home, if only for a while.

"Well…I see no objection. Daemon?" She asked her husband, who looked at his daughter. Apparently, something in her pleading gaze made him decide to remain silent for the time being, as he merely nodded his head in wordless agreement.

He closed his eyes and sighed quietly in relief, feeling a huge stone fall from his heart.

He stepped back, allowing Rhaenyra to leave, just behind her the room left Daemon throwing him one vigilant, mocking look telling him that he knew there was something more behind his words.

His wife, however, overwhelmed by excitement and joy, seemed not to notice it − she ran to him and snuggled into him, clasping her hands on his back, his arms immediately enclosing her in a tight, secure embrace.

He hadn't betrayed her.

He would never betray her.

So why did he feel so guilty?

"There are no words in which I can describe my gratitude to you. "She whispered, burying her face in his chest; he sighed heavily, pressing his lips to the top of her head, stroking her soft hair and neck with his fingers.

"I'm proud of you." He said calmly wanting her to know that he admired what she had done, the calmness in which she had presented his side's reasons while showing understanding and respect for her mother's rights and heritage.

He thanked the gods that he knew when to shut his mouth.

She looked at him and smiled shyly, as if his words surprised and embarrassed her. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, pressing her soft lips to his, and he murmured low, feeling a tightness in his throat.

He should tell her, he thought with pain, but he didn't know how.

He didn't want to spoil this beautiful moment.

So he kept silent, but the guilt, the fact that he was hiding something from her, pressed down on his shoulders like a huge burden, through which he could experience neither relief nor satisfaction that Rhaenyra had agreed to their terms.

He never expected to fly through the skies beside Larax, Caraxes and Syrax, to ever see Dragonstone, to propose a journey there of his own accord.

He felt shame filling him.

As he and his wife stepped inside their fortress, where their children were already waiting for them, an awkward silence ensued. Jace and Luke stood behind a large stone table that resembled the shape of all of Westeros, looking at him in disbelief and horror. He shuddered when he saw that Rhaena was the first to rush ahead, sidestepping him and her father, enclosing his wife in a sincere, tender embrace.

"I'm so happy you're alive." She muttered in a breaking voice – his niece stroked her back with a smile.

"Me too." He heard her whisper.

After a moment, Baela joined them, throwing him a cold, warning glance along the way, from which he only rolled his eyes. He looked again at Luke, who swallowed hard and lowered his gaze, clearly unable to bear his presence.

He felt disgusted at the sight of them, two boys with cheeks flushed from shame, who knew full well that they did not and should not have any claim to the throne.

He grinned involuntarily at the thought, seeing how pale Jace was, that he understood for certain that their presence meant he would officially cease to be his mother's heir.

Satisfaction as sweet as poison coursed through his veins at the thought.

Jace drew in a breath at the sight of his grimace, his hands clenched into fists as if he felt like lashing out at him − he flinched when Daemon stepped in front of him, standing between them and shook his head.

Jace swallowed hard, furious, lowering his gaze to the stone floor beneath his feet.

None of them came up to greet his niece; only little Joffrey ran up to her and burst into tears screaming that she had left them alone.

They resented her for the side she had chosen in their minds.

She was the only reason they were both still alive, he thought with a sneer.

His half-sister, seeing the look on his face and sensing the tension that reigned around them, decided to take pity on them and suggested that they make themselves comfortable in the chamber that had previously belonged to his wife.

He accepted her words with relief.

As they stepped inside he felt a squeeze in his throat − her quarters were modest, filled with her scent, the windows of her room facing the open sea, the sound of which he could clearly hear. He walked deeper in, looking around her chests of drawers and wardrobes, her wooden bookcases filled to the brim with books, before his gaze finally settled on an ornate oak desk.

He swallowed hard imagining her seated figure bent over parchment.

"− is this here? −" He asked casually, running his fingers over the table top, noticing with a pained heart that it was dusty.

A sign of how long she had not been here.

His niece looked at him surprised and blushed, as if the mere mention embarrassed her.

"− yes −"

He sat down in the chair she sat in every time she wished to convey her thoughts to him, to put them on paper, which then flew all the way to King's Landing to reach his hands. He glanced towards the windows, wondering how many times she had deliberated on choosing the right words while observing exactly the same view.

He thought he was touched.

"− we should rest, husband − if that's what you wish, we'll have supper alone −" She said softly, her voice trembling with excitement and joy.

She couldn't believe she was home again.

He nodded, not knowing what more he could answer.

He had felt the tension all evening; his wife had shown him various books she had read over the years, which she had told him about in her letters. He tried to listen to her and nod, stroking her arm with the tips of his fingers as she sat beside him, flicking through page after page of one of the volumes, looking for the quote she had mentioned to him. Her question pulled him out of his musings.

"− uncle − will you tell me what troubles you? −"

He looked at her horrified and swallowed with difficulty − he only grunted, not knowing what he should answer like a child caught in the act.

"I'm tired." He replied acknowledging that this was partly true. She nodded in understanding, he closed his eyelids as her hand gently stroked his cheek.

"Let's go to bed."

He wasn't going to fight her.

He wanted to leave this place as soon as possible and get away from Daemon's disturbing gaze.

His wife pressed her lips together, seeing that he had put a dagger under his pillow before he lay down − however, she said nothing, knowing he might trust her, but certainly not her family.

He lay down beside her, sighing heavily, and closed his eyes, figuring that perhaps when he woke up the next day and realised that tragedy had been avoided due to his decision, his conscience would have a little more mercy for him.

He murmured contentedly as he felt her arms embrace him, cuddling his face between her breasts, the warmth of her body, her scent filling his entire lungs. He tightened his hands on her back, trying to focus only on the touch of her hands, on her fingers combing gently through his hair, on the lullaby she hummed softly under her breath, and from which his eyelids grew heavier and heavier.

When the moon rises

over the dark sky

When you hear from afar

my bitter cry

Know that I long

Know that I long

Know that I long

When the sun rises

over the bright sky

When you hear from afar

my joyful cry

Know that I'm home

Know that I'm home

Know that I'm home

And then sleep fell over him.

His lips clung to her soft, long neck, sweaty from exertion, heavy, drawn-out sighs full of pleasure left his lips as his hips with sure, deep, quick thrusts pounded again and again into her hot, fleshy interior.

"− forgive me − I've missed you − oh, my sweetest −" He breathed out, quickening his pace, sinking his nose into her dark curls, her moans muffled by the pillow she was cuddling her face into. Her body, though different, was just as warm, her scent, though different, was similar to hers.

It didn't matter to him, because she was there for him, because she had forgiven him.

"− I love you − oh fuck, Rhaenys −" He muttered, clenching his eyes, coming inside her at last, experiencing such immense relief that he cursed for another moment, rocking his hips inside her. He swallowed hard, worried that she wasn't saying anything, his fingers took strands of her hair from her face wanting to see her eyes and then he saw it.

Green irises, luscious as grass.

"− is it true? − is she carrying your child? −" He heard her voice as if from afar and suddenly he was standing in front of her in his chamber in King's Landing, feeling his heart pounding like mad, a cold sweat running down his back.

He felt a strong gag reflex and held it back with the remnants of his strong will.

He couldn't get anything out of himself.

What had he done?

"− answer me − is she carrying your child? −" His wife, his Rhaenys muttered in a voice breaking with pain and despair, her cheeks red from tears, her eyebrows arched in rage, in her gaze something he feared most.

Disgust.

"− I − I don't know −" He mumbled, trying to remember what had actually happened, how he could have done it when, after all, he had promised himself it would never, never happen.

He thought about how he hadn't touched her in so long, how he had missed her so much.

When she discovered that he had hidden the truth from her, what his grandfather had planned, that he knew what could have happened to them in the Eyrie but hadn't told her, she hadn't slept in his chamber, hadn't eaten supper with him, hadn't spoken to him or looked at him even though he had tried so hard to please her.

"− don't you know? − don't you know if you put your bastard inside her? −" She mumbled and burst out into a loud, miserable sob, hiding her face in her hands − he looked at her, panting hard, shaking all over, not knowing what he was supposed to say, what he was supposed to do.

"− HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME!? −" She almost screamed, falling to her knees as if without strength, whining loudly like some kind of animal, her whole being trembling and twitching in convulsions − he approached her quickly, kneeling beside her, trying to touch her, but she pushed him away.

"− my beloved − please − I was possessed by madness, I swear − I − I thought it was you −" He muttered, not knowing how he could explain such a betrayal, such humiliation she suffered because of him.

"− you thought it was me? − you fucked another woman and thought it was me? − gods, Aemond, don't touch me! − don't touch me −" She howled, her voice at once enraged, full of pain, suffering and grief, her eyes red with tears, her whole body quivering.

He was the reason for this.

He had done this to her.

"− my Prince − my Prince, quickly, your wife! −" He heard someone shout – he shuddered as he sat by the fireplace, gazing in horror at the figure of the guard who had rushed into his chamber.

As he stepped out into the corridor he heard someone's loud sobs and screams tearing at his heart; as he ran inside he froze noticing the figure of Rheaenyra kneeling on the floor, covering her mouth with her hand − his wife, and her daughter, was hanging from a rope tied to the frame of her bed, which was tightened around her neck, her dark hair covering her bowed head, her feet not touching the floor.

He ran to her trying to lift her, trying to pull her down, but he knew, felt, that it was too late, her body cold, numb, empty.

His face sank into her flesh covered only by the material of her nightgown muffling his loud, desperate scream.

"Uncle! Uncle, please, wake up!"

He opened his eyes and pulled himself up to sit down, panting heavily, feeling his heart pounding like mad – he could see nothing through the tears that one by one ran down his face, his body twitching all over in convulsions as if it had gone into a state of absolute panic.

"− easy, my love − breathe −" He heard someone's voice beside him, her voice – he looked at her as if he didn't recognise her, her eyes wide in terror, her hand stroking his shoulder reassuringly.

"− Rhaenys − Rhaenys −" He mumbled out like a small child calling out to its mother, bursting into sobs of relief and terror that shook his body − he snuggled into her breast, clasping his fingers on her back so tightly that she hissed in pain – however, she did not push him away and her arms enclosed him in a tight, secure embrace.

"− I'm here, my love − I'm here −" She whispered, again and again placing warm, moist kisses on the top of his head, combing her fingers through his hair.

For a moment he merely wept and quivered, unable to catch his breath, trying to calm himself, listening to her whisper, breathing in her scent, enjoying her closeness, the touch of her hand.

It seemed to him that it was hours before he began to breathe normally, before he realised that all he had seen was just a nightmare, that he was lying with his wife in her bed in Dragonstone.

That all was not yet lost.

He swallowed hard and clenched his eyes shut.

"− there's something − there's something I want to tell you −"

[slackerlifewhere]

random thought #4: no romance

I appreciate that the author doesn't add a romantic subplot for her characters just because they're of the opposite sex.

Like Cage and Taylor who, if this is a tv show, would've immediately been tagged as a couple even if they're just good friends. They're the best of friends who really care deeply for each other and right from the start, I never saw their bond as a romantic one. It's special since they understand each other so well because of their burdens and similar sense of humor. Like imagine how devastated Cage must've been in TBoaH. It must've been like losing a part of herself, her other half.

Yeah, I can see the idea that they can be a couple but it's so nice to see that the author just focuses on their friendship throughout the first part of TCF instead.

Then there's that time when Cale had Rosalyn and Choi Han help out Lock.

Cale clapped once, before pointing at Choi Han and Rosalyn.

“That is why we will pretend that you are the mother and father, or, if you do not like that scenario, then you shall be the older brother and older sister. You two will need to figure out how to protect him.”

- Chapter 30: You

I love the fact that Cale just gives them options to choose from so they can feel comfortable with each other. Especially since he knows they literally just met a few days ago. I also think that they just give off sibling vibes. Like Rosalyn and Choi Han never gave off anything else but friendship or family vibes and it's just so nice to see it happen.

I don't hate romance, okay? I actually love them. That is, when I look for that specific genre. If I'm not looking for it and it's there, I usually feel annoyed. Sometimes, it's not tagged but it still happens in the story.

I just find it exhausting at times when novels or tv shows push for romance when there's no need or reason for it. Especially the love at first sight trope. That one just aggravates me.

Like they can explore how close two characters are without putting a romantic context to it. In fact, the "romance" that we get in TCF are mostly from Deruth and Violan and from Deruth and Jour. It can't be said it's romance either since the focus on them is about the whole family instead. Other characters never show any sign of being in love with someone either.

And I also love the fact that Cale, the main character, doesn't have a romantic relationship throughout the whole first book. He has no time for one since he's in the middle of a war, he's focused on protecting his friends and family, and he's busy fighting some crazy bastards. He never looked at another person and thought he was in love.

If Yoo Ryeo Han ever adds romance later on, ✨I still hope she doesn't✨, it's easier to accept since I know these characters are close to each other. They've been together since the beginning. They bonded and experienced a lot of good and bad things together. Although it'll be weird to me...

[On an unrelated note: If this whole post looks weird, it's because I haven't slept yet]

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

CYOA

You know what screw it, I wanted to finish chapter 59 today but I feel horrible and it's just not going to happen so for now you can have this completed scene under the cut with my great affection love love peace peace feel free to react as it'll make me happy etc. etc.

Private WhatsApp Chat Resumed: Friday 18th March, 2022, 07:57 Members: Lily Evans, James Potter

================================

James Potter: i think it's pretty amazing that you and beatrice know the exact date that you first met when you were two

Lily Evans: Lollllll Hello to you too

James Potter: although idk how sirius would react if we knew and i suggested celebrating that hello, also beautiful hello beautiful is what i meant to say

Lily Evans: Suave of you.

James Potter: i'm only just having my first coffee of the day, alright? give me five minutes and i'll be on my game

Lily Evans: I suppose I can allow you five minutes. We didn't always know, but my mum's been journaling every day for most of her life, so a few years back we did a little detective work and it turns out she'd written about my first day at Little Tots. We've done something for our anniversary every year since, but she's blown my gift out of the water this time around.

James Potter: why, what was your gift?

Lily Evans: I bought her a ladyship. She's Lady Beatrice Booth now. Officially. Incredibly it only costs £30 and you get a tiny plot of land in Cumbria with it. I gave the pack to her housemate to leave out today so she'll get a huge kick out of it when she gets home later.

James Potter: how ironic is it that you got her a ladyship and i was looking into getting her canonised earlier

Lily Evans: Lol why?

James Potter: because i really really really liked that video, evans

Lily Evans: I see. I see. I see. Not embarrassed about you having seen that AT ALL. Although I suppose I don't have a right to be embarrassed when I've seen all of your childhood photos, do I? It was probably about time that you saw some of mine.

James Potter: what would you have to be embarrassed about? you were an adorable child i loved watching you grow up on an instagram reel with, inexplicably, flo rida's musical accompaniment

Lily Evans: Lollllllllll I know that probably seems like a weird choice, but it was our go-to dance song when we were eighteen. And on that note, I was a very awkward teenager, as you've now seen.

James Potter: almost everyone on earth was an awkward teenager and the ones who weren't awkward peaked in their teens, so think of how they've suffered since then although i guess sirius is the exception anyway you say you were awkward, but fifteen year old me would have been DESPERATE for fifteen year old you's attention

Lily Evans: Oh, you say that now.

James Potter: no i would have been and i wouldn't have gotten it because as we've previously established i was a prick when i was fifteen so if i'd gone to school with you i still would have been a prick, but a prick who wanted your attention and did all manner of stupid things to get it i would have driven you mad

Lily Evans: Twenty-seven year old you wants my attention and I've not been driven mad over it once, to be fair.

James Potter: twenty-seven year old me has much improved with age and is more deserving of it you however have been a delight your whole life which i now have visual proof of hence i'll be calling your best mate saint lady beatrice from now on

Lily Evans: I wasn't a delight my whole life, I promise you. As a child I was a precocious little shit who thought she knew everything and couldn't be told otherwise. That's why I got into so many scrapes, doing stupid, dangerous things because I couldn't just listen to my mother when she told me "no, Lily, that's dangerous." I was like a working class Peppa Pig, honestly, no wonder my sister couldn't hack being around me half the time. So you're not the only one who has much improved with age. And fifteen year old me would have had a massive crush on fifteen year old you, BELIEVE me.

James Potter: oh really?

Lily Evans: Would I have let you know about it? Absolutely not. But it still would have been there.

James Potter: you mean like the crush you've had on me this whole time?

Lily Evans: I already have to get you back for some nonsense you pulled yesterday, Potter, so I'd advise you not to pile on and add this to the list.

James Potter: lollllllll

Lily Evans: I'm serious!

James Potter: oh i'm sure you are to which i say go on then do it

Lily Evans: I will do it.

James Potter: you go right ahead i can handle it

Lily Evans: You're being very cocky right now and while I can't pretend I don't like it, it'll also prove to be your downfall later.

James Potter: we'll see, we'll see

Lily Evans: We will see.

James Potter: whatever you need to tell yourself, sweetheart

Lily Evans: I think the fifteen year old you has taken over the controls in your head, mate.

James Potter: he probably has, yeah but what can i say he's really chuffed about your crush on me

Lily Evans: You mean the crush you've decided I have that I haven't confirmed?

James Potter: right, yeah, of course, clearly i'm the one in the wrong here still sleeping in my bed, are you?

Lily Evans: I have to go do a work thing now.

James Potter: oh, sure, that old excuse

[so-so-woso]

i wanna be the one | part 1

Edit: Changed title. Thanks to Dru for the suggestion. From the song "Things We Never Say" by the Bad Bad Hats. Great song, potentially relevant maybe who knows.

Summary: Reader is an English-American GK who joins the Arsenal squad and ends up in an interesting back and forth with Leah Williamson. This chapter is mainly set-up for the future. The vibes will probably be very different going forward lol

Warnings: Angst, swallowing self-doubt, and mentions of parental death in the first section.

Word Count: 3,284

London felt just like Seattle. You were expecting it to feel different, more European (whatever that meant), but when you stepped out of the airport and that familiar January rain hit your skin, it was a welcome feeling. It wasn’t quite Home – you hadn’t had one of those in a long time – but it was definitely welcoming, and nice enough that you didn’t bother with an umbrella. It would’ve been hard enough trying to carry one along with all your bags anyway, although by the look on your driver’s face he really wished you had at least tried. It was nice that the team had sent a car to meet you, especially since you didn’t really know anyone here that well, but you supposed they would do that for any new signing. The driver helped you get your bags into the car and then you were off to the club to dot some Is and cross some Ts to make everything truly official.

Wistful thoughts crept into the back of your mind as you were chauffeured through the streets of London, and you decided for the first time in a long time not to fight them. Not here, anyway – not now. Not after everything it took to get you here. Get you here again, technically. You were born in London after all, and raised in Sheffield where your mother had grown up. Your father was an American, from Dallas, who came to England for graduate school and stayed for the woman he fell in love with. He often teased her about “real (American) football” but she converted him to Sheffield United fan, though he would never admit it – at least not until you were born. Match days became a family event as soon as you could stand up on your own, even though you were still too young to really remember anything at that point, but by the time you could run you wanted nothing more than to play. You were always bigger than the other kids so they made you play with the boys, but you knew a lot of the women’s national team players had played on boys’ teams growing up, so you didn’t mind it. You were never upset about that, but you were upset when they made you move to the goalkeeper position when you were eight. It was the boring position and you never got to do anything, but you were the only kid on the team who didn’t seem scared of the ball when it came flying at you, so the job fell to you. Many years later, it would prove to be the right choice, but for a while you thought it felt like a punishment from the universe. Then you found out what that kind of punishment actually felt like.

You were only eleven when your parents died. It was a car accident; your mom was driving. She took the brunt of it and was gone by the time the ambulance arrived. Your dad was in the hospital for two days, but he never woke up. You had been in the back seat. Heavy bruising, a busted ribs, broken collarbone, and a big gash across the side of the head was it for you. You were in the hospital too, for a while. Your paternal grandmother came all the way from Austin to pick you up and take you to live with her. Your mom’s parents had been gone for a while now, and GiGi – what you had called your father’s mother – was all you had left. You had only met her a few times before, but you didn’t really have another option, so across the pond you went.

It would be a massive understatement to say that Texas was different from Sheffield. It was truly a whole different world, but kids are resilient enough. You were famous for a while, because of your accent, and then you were weird for a while, because of your accent, and then eventually you became just one of the kids. Your GiGi was supportive as well, more than you had expected her to be. You didn’t know much of the specifics as a kid, but you knew she and your father had had some sort of falling out and weren’t as close as they had been when he was younger. You always thought it had to do with him choosing to stay in England rather than come home to America. When you got older it seemed like maybe there was more to it than that, but GiGi wouldn’t talk about it. She did help you get into therapy, so that you could learn how to process what had happened and all the big changes that came with it. You didn’t like it at the time, but in hindsight it was probably the best thing she could’ve done. She even started trying to learn about football – soccer – too, because she knew you liked it, and she made sure to sign you up for the local league. You think maybe that time doesn’t heal wounds, but it sort of scabs them over enough that they only hurt when you pick at them, so eventually you learn to stop picking at them, and after that life became kind of normal.

You eventually played soccer in high school – goalkeeper, naturally – and were good enough to get recruited to the University of Texas. From there, the NWSL draft sent you to Seattle for the OL Reign. You spent a season as the third-string goalkeeper, then a season as the second-string, and then were presented with an opportunity you couldn’t dare turn down. It had been Kim Little’s idea, apparently. She had only played with you in Seattle for a month or so, and you never really hung out, but she knew you had grown up in England and that you had really wanted the chance to play football in Europe. She would tell you later that she was impressed with your resilience, something you had heard often growing up, and that you had a “dead brilliant reaction speed” which you guessed sounded good. So when Arsenal’s back-up goalkeeper transferred out and they were weighing their options, she suggested they give you a look. She had said it offhandedly, like it wasn’t a big deal, but you would wager she fought harder for you than she let on. You had only played a handful of games in two seasons, and while you were admittedly good, the offer from the English club still came as a massive surprise. They were up front and adamant about your status as a pure back-up to Zinsberger, and while you would’ve had a decent chance to win the starting spot in Seattle, you just couldn’t say no to European football, to England, to the Arsenal.

That’s how you ended up in the back of a dark car being driven through the streets of north London in the pouring rain. Your fingers fiddled absently at the chain around your neck and the two golden bands that hung from it while you considered everything that led you here, hoping that you made the right choice. Only time would tell, you thought, as the car squealed to a slow stop. You hesitated for a long moment before tucking the necklace under your shirt and moving to exit the vehicle. The driver met you at the car door, an umbrella extended overhead. You were taller than him, so you had to awkwardly bend your neck as he moved to close the door behind you.

“This shouldn’t take long,” he said, “Then we’ll get you home.” You thanked him and stuffed your fists in the pockets of your coat as you followed him up to the club, your stomach slowly rising higher and higher into your throat as the series of decisions you had recently made began to congeal rather quickly into a hard reality. It was some grotesque mix of nerves and excitement and fear that just fully slapped you in the face when you stepped inside the building. You hadn’t felt like this in Seattle, or on the plane, or in the car, but now that you were here, physically, it’s like everything else was physical too. It wasn’t some amorphous Choice floating in the metaphorical ether of your life; it was a foreboding Presence leering down at you, clawing at your shoulders from behind, and whispering ‘you don’t deserve this’ into your psyche. Nausea began to swell up, to the point you were just starting to feel dizzy. Out of instinct you reached forward and put your hand on the driver’s shoulder, who stopped walking to turn and see what you needed. He opened his mouth to ask what was wrong, but was interrupted by a distinctly Scottish, “Oh ‘ey, Tex!” behind you.

You both turned to see Kim Little striding down the hallway, followed closely by Jonas and one of the other coaches. You swallowed hard, all the torturous feelings slowly fading away as you saw a familiar face. “Hey, Little Kim, “ you retorted. She scoffed and faked a jab towards your ribs before she reached up to hug you.

“Welcome to the party,” she said, stepping back to introduce the coaches, who shook your hands. They welcomed you as well and explained that the evening would be brief, they were sure you’d be tired from the flight, but just needed to finalize some things on the business side and then Kim would give a tour of the facilities. You thanked them, probably too many times, and went with them all to finish your paperwork and pick up your official training gear. Your kit wouldn’t be ready until tomorrow since they’d have to put your name on and weren’t sure what number you wanted (you picked 18 because it was available and made sense for a goalkeeper). Kim showed you around, asked about the flight, and made you feel as welcome as she thought she could. It was nice to talk to someone for a while. You weren’t exactly an extrovert, but you were Southern enough you enjoyed being around people, and being able to talk to Kim, even if it was more or less small talk, made you feel better, and by the time the tour was done all of the earlier feelings were forgotten. You started to think that maybe this whole thing was a good idea after all.

“So no rest for the weary – first training tomorrow, yeah? Text me your address and I’ll pick you up. Since you won’t have a car, Uber’s always an option, but until you get sorted, you can get rides with me,” Kim said.

“Sounds good. Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Don’t thank me yet, I’m picking you up extra early tomorrow – the girls’ll want to meet you before kickin’ balls at your head.”

“Well, I guess that’s only polite.”

You both laughed and hugged goodbye before heading your separate ways, you pulling out your phone to look up your new address to send it to Kim. This was a good decision, you thought, this was a good decision.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Your apartment – or flat? – was nicer than you expected it to be. You had done a Zoom tour while you were still in Seattle and it looked fine, but you had tempered your expectations to be safe. Turns out, you didn’t need to. It was a two-bedroom and furnished with the basics, so there was plenty of space for you and plenty room to decorate as you saw fit. You had what was sometimes described as an eclectic taste by your friends, mainly because you liked to decorate with things that made you happy. That seems like an obvious thing to decorate with, but you were kind of – literally – a giant dork, which meant you had a lot of “nerd shit” as your friends would tease. You expected the Arsenal girls would do the same if they ever started coming over, but all of that would be a long time coming. Tonight, all you wanted to do was collapse into bed, which is exactly what you did.

Kim wasn’t lying when she said she’d pick you up early. At least she had the decency to bring you coffee, but she was completely taken aback when you admitted you didn’t really drink coffee and actually preferred tea. “Guess there is some English in you after all,” she had joked as she drove. She asked about your night and how you slept, and pointed out all the important-to-know shops and stops between your apartment and the training center. When you finally arrived, you asked her if she accepted tips for her tour knowledge – to which she responded with “only big bills”. You laughed as you retrieved your bag from the back of her car, and the two of you headed in.

The next few days were an absolute blur. You were introduced to everyone, and they all seemed pretty nice. McCabe kept talking about how tall you were, but from how everyone else acted that was normal. Manu was happy to have another goalkeeper in the squad despite the fact you would both technically be competing for the starting spot, even though you were explicitly hired as a back-up. At least it didn’t seem like there would be any weird hurt feelings or anything there, so you were glad for that. All your other time was spent trying to discern personality types and team dynamics, and also actually training. The coaches had told you they wouldn’t expect you to go full on for the first few days to give you time to acclimate to everything. You thanked them, of course, but that didn’t stop you from diving in head first.

By the time your official day three was over, you wished you had taken it a little easier. It felt like jet lag hit you late, on top of the normal physical tiredness of training. But that evening as the team as the team filtered out of the locker room, Katie McCabe slapped you on the back and said, “Drinks on you tonight, mate!” You turned to look at her, but before you could ask, Kim interrupted with a sharp “Katie–“

“Hold on, hold on! I don’t mean a big to-do, but we gotta welcome the newbie right, right?”

A couple of the other players voiced their agreement and Kim rolled her eyes. “Two drink maximum.”

“Four.”

“Two.”

“Three?”

“Two, McCabe.”

“Two and shots?”

“…”

“Two…and shots?”

“…one shot.”

“Fuck yes, best captain ever! You’re riding with us, Y/N!”

A mix of confusion and amusement spread across your face as you looked between the two of them, and Kim just shook her head and waved at you to go with Katie, so you let yourself be pulled away into whatever the night would bring.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Despite telling you that you were paying for drinks, Katie was nice enough to only make you buy the shots, and despite Kim’s hesitance at you all going out mid-week, it was a surprisingly calm evening. You ended up sitting at a table with just a handful of your new teammates. Most of them were joking around with each other, teasing and taunting. You sat quietly, unsure of how inserting yourself into the dynamic would come off. You thought of a few quips throughout the conversations, but made sure to hold your tongue, choosing to sip on your beer instead.

“You always this quiet?”

You glanced over in the direction of the voice, inadvertently locking eyes with Leah Williamson. You knew who she was, obviously – won the Euros and all. What you hadn’t known was that she was even more attractive in person. You didn’t even know that was possible, but it was certainly a pleasant surprise.

“Not usually,” you responded, drawing in a breath. “Just can’t get a word in edgewise with this one goin’ off.”

You gestured towards Katie, who didn’t even register the comment. It did get a chuckle out of Steph and Foord, though, which made you relax a bit. Looking back at Leah, she was still looking at you, but didn’t seem to react otherwise. You paused for a moment, chewing on the inside of your cheek, before deciding to just go for it.

“So in the summer do you ever get a weird tan on your forehead from frowning so much?”

That did draw Katie’s attention; you could tell from the way she practically guffawed.

“Oy, she’s got you dead to fuckin’ rights!” she said, leaning over to elbow at Leah. The Aussies had laughed as well, as did Kim. Leah didn’t look impressed at the remark, but from the twitch of her lips you would swear she was biting back a smile. She had nice lips. Were you staring at her lips? Your eyes flashed back up to hers and she was still looking at you. She would’ve been able to tell where you were staring. That’s…embarrassing. You swallowed hard, and quickly looked away, taking a long swig of your drink. If anyone else at the table noticed the interaction, they didn’t react. Katie started in on you immediately, dragging you into whatever she had been talking about before, and from there you spent the rest of the evening integrating yourself into the team.

The bar was really only starting to fill up when Kim decided it was time for you all to get a move on. There was some light-hearted grumbling, but everyone was professional enough to know how to behave. You had popped into the toilet before leaving, and when you came out of the stall, Leah was washing her hands. You hesitated for a brief moment before moving up to the sink next to her to wash your own hands, the little bit of alcohol you consumed tonight just enough to embolden you.

“Man, Williamson, what kind of a world is this where you’ve got those legs and no rhythm,” you teased, quickly busying yourself with the most thorough hand-wash you’ve ever done so you didn’t have to look over at her and see how poorly she took the remark.

“You spend a lot of time thinking about my legs?”

You froze. It would seem she didn’t take it too poorly at all. Taking a moment to compose yourself, you turned off the sink and turned to look at her. She was staring at you again. Seemed like maybe she did that a lot.

“Yeah, maybe,” you finally said. She hmmed a bit and cocked her head to the side. The glint in her eye was the only thing that kept you from worrying you were being too forward, and you silently prayed it wasn’t a trick of the fluorescent lighting overhead.

“You think you’re being all charming, with your little jokes?”

“No, not really,” you shrugged. “I think I have the personality of a 14-year-old boy and it’s the only way I know how to flirt with you.”

Leah changed at that. Her posture shifted. Her shoulders dropped slightly. The glint in her eye was gone. You fucked up, you thought. You’ve been here for four days and you already fucked up.

You moved to apologize at the same time Leah moved to respond, but both of you were interrupted by the door to the bathroom slamming open and a group of girls rushing in. You turned around and pushed yourself up against the edge of the sink to get out of the way, but Leah dipped her head down and shoved out past them, taking the opportunity to escape without you being able to stop her.

Yep. You fucked up.

[leaentries]

headcanons | john marino

SUMMARY: boyfriend!john

WARNINGS: not proofread

more boyfriend!player headcanons

✮. my fav nighttime boyfie! he just screams domestic nights on the couch. like you guys don’t really even have to be doing a whole lot, but doing it with him is a privilege. being able to cuddle and watch a movie or cook dinner together.

✮. loves giving you nicknames! whether they stem from something stupid you did or just because it reminds him of you. will range from the most random of things. from stuff like doll, honey, love, to weird ass names based off of things you like. (for example, if you love to read he might call you “bookie”)

✮. also loves when you give him nicknames. i’ve said this before and i will say it again, he melts anytime you call him johnny. he could be busy doing something and hear the “hey, johnny?” from your room and he’s bolting back there with big doe eyes ready to fall at your feet. gets mad whenever you call him john. and don’t even get me started on what he does when you call him marino. (spoiler: he pouts)

✮. park dates! especially during the fall. john has mentioned how his favorite season is the fall (big boston guy) so he love love loves to take fun walks with you through boston and the surrounding areas while the leaves are falling down around the both of you. bonus points if you “forget” your jacket and you have to wear his.

✮. he loves sweet treats. always bringing you something sweet every time he comes over. you guys have a specific bakery that you always go to, it’s to the point where the owners know you by name and order. but will always have that familiar paper bag in his hand whenever he’s knocking at your door.

✮. board game nights! will not hesitate to beat you in a game of chess. eventually he will let you win because he hates seeing you pouty. although, i feel like he sucks at any type of racing game lowkey. you normally end up having to let him win if you’re playing mario cart.

✮. wants you to teach him how to do your hair! john loves to watch you get ready in the mornings and how you fix your hair, so naturally he wants to know too! will most likely not be very good, but it’s the thought that counts!

✮. loves to find good books and read them with you. you guys are your own mini book club tbh. you decide on a book every month and read a chapter or two together everyday/night before bed. will read with you over the phone if he’s on a roadie.

✮. beach trips to the max during offseason. he’s mentioned that he loves the warm weather and tropical destinations, so you know he’s got his calendar BOOKED with fun tropical vacations for the two of you. always makes sure to bring an extra bag or two with stuff he knows you’re gonna end up forgetting in the rush to leave.

✮. lazy mornings with john > everything else. + if they are during the fore mentioned beach trips. the balcony doors are open, letting in the soft sea breeze while john is placing soft kisses along your body to wake you up. the sheets are all over the place due to the risqué activities you partook in the previous night. 

✮. begging for him endlessly

[hyuuukais]

-`♡´ - APARTMENT 143

pairing -> lee minho x reader

synopsis -> after a bad breakup, y/n needs to find a new place to live. although she's grateful for her best friend, up-and-coming model hwang hyunjin, for letting her stay at his, she can't keep living with him and his model roommates. so when an opening for somewhere nearby with cheap rent opens up, she jumps on it, despite knowing next to nothing about the 3 other tenants, only that one owns 3 cats. the three quickly learn of her breakup, determined to help get her back on her feet. but what happens when one of them begins to develop feelings?

warnings -> gen, y/n overthinks a lot and isn't very nice or forgiving to herself, food, y/n panicking & hyperventilating, food, blood, suggestive near end

MASTERLIST | PREVIOUS | NEXT

CHAPTER TWELVE -> FAILED ROMANTIC ESCAPADES (partially written, wc: 1.5k)

"Hey, hey, hey." Minho cups your face hesitantly, wiping the stream of tears flooding from your eyes. You're hyperventilating, gasping for air by the time he's arrived to help you as the pan of burnt food lies off to the side. "Here."

He takes a hand and places it on his chest, breathing in deeply and encouraging you to do the same. You try, but its shaky and and you start coughing. A hand comes down to rub your back and you don't even notice how close you are, finally starting to focus on the rise and fall of Minho's chest. Once you've started to calm, he lets his hand fall off of your back, leaving the one clasping yours to him.

"Go sit down," he orders and you try to protest. "No, I don't want to hear it. Go sit and destress with the cats while I salvage this."

"There's no salvaging that," you say, pointing to the charred, inedible... lump on the stovetop.

"So I'll make something new."

Sitting on the couch, you debate texting Soobin and calling the whole thing off, but he's already on the way and the scent of food cooking wafts over you. You feel fucking awful. First, you mess up the date, if you can call it that, before it even started, and now you've guilted Minho into helping you when he was probably in the middle of doing something. What he's making smells delicious and you feel even worse.

"How long?" Minho calls out from the kitchen. The apartment is fairly open, only an island separating that part from the living room you're in.

"Twenty minutes, give or take."

"Touch up your makeup, you cried it all off." Your face reddens. "And wear that pink shirt you have."

"The one with the ribbon?" You ask, confused why he knows your closet.

"No, not that one. The other one with the heart."

"Why?"

"Because it's nice," he says, still focused on the task at hand. "You look nice in it."

You don't know how to respond so you go to look for the shirt he mentioned. It's hanging up in your freshly organized closet, colour coordinated to help you find things easier. Taking it off the hanger, you change quickly and re-emerge to see Minho plating what looks like a professional dish.

Soobin is never going to believe you made that. Your heart drops and you start fiddling with your fingers, standing at the edge if the kitchen and staring as he finishes up. Unwelcome tears prickle at your eyes again, breath picking up slightly. Minhi catches your eye, coming over and looking down at you. His hand comes up to the back of your head, patting your hair, and somehow this helps you calm down.

"He's not going to think I made that," you admit.

"Why not? There are dirty dishes in the sink." Minho turns your face gently to look. "Who says you can't be a Michelin chef in your spare time?"

"Shut up," you push his hand away, barely containing a smile.

"There's our girl," he sighs. "Now, you know-"

A knock at the door, it opens seconds later, a tall man walking in. "Y/n? I know you said to just walk in but I feel weird so I'm still going to wait for you by the door."

"Oh my god." You look to where Soobin's voice came from, back at Minho, gripping your panic by the throat and shoving it away. "He'll see you if you go to your room and I said no one would be home."

"I can hide-"

"Behind the island!" You push him away quickly as you hear footsteps approaching. Turning around, you see Soobin hesitantly walking in. "Hey! I was just um... finishing getting everything ready! Yeah, that's what I was doing. I, uh, still need to get drinks though. What do you like? We have a bit of red wine left, sparkling water, regular water, and some pop too. Unless you don't want a drink! But hydration is important."

Your voice becomes small nearing the end of your rambling, internally cringing at yourself, but Soobin just smiles and takes off his coat. "Regular water is fine."

Nodding, you go to the side of the island Minho is on. He's crouched against the side, looking up at you as you open the fridge door. When you turn back around with the jug of water, you can see Soobin rounding the corner and panic, nearly dropping the jug as you kick Minho's leg, silently telling his to go around to the other side. He glares at you, but crawls away just as Soobin joins you, a small smile on his face. Sweat clings to your skin as you set the jug down, sending Soobin a tight smile as you reach for two glasses. They're just too high, but you're determined, which does not end well. One glass is close enough to the edge that you can grab it smoothly, but the other is shoved and falls onto the counter, glass flying.

"Oh my god!" You step back, setting the glass behind you and pushing Soobin away with your other hand. "Stand here, I'll sweep this up. I'm so sorry."

You're trying hard not to cry again at this point, so overwhelmed and overstimulated that you feel like you'll burst. The glass cleans up easy enough, but you still feel terrible.

"Y/n, you're bleeding."

"What?" You look down at the hand you just threw the glass out with and see a small cut running under your pointer and middle fingers. "Shit, okay, um, I'll be right back."

"Oh, okay," Soobin leans out of your way as you rush past him.

"Get it together," you say to yourself as you close the bathroom door, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth. "Patch it up and get back out there. Calm the fuck down."

And you do just that, slapping a bandage onto the wound and stepping back out. With another deep breath, you reenter the kitchen.

"Ready to eat?" You plaster a smile on your face, taking the dishes and setting them on the coffee table. "We usually eat at the island, but I thought the couch would be nicer for tonight since the seats are comfier. Is that okay? We can eat at the island if you prefer. Or even up on the rooftop, we have a picnic table up there-"

"The couch is fine," Soobin cuts you off. "Really."

You laugh nervously, watching Minho crawl back to the other side as Soobin joins you on the couch. As you eat and make small talk, you become more comfortable, laughing freely at his jokes and even making your own. After you're done, he compliments the food and a wave of guilt runs through you, but you push it down and suggest a movie. Out of the corner of you eye, you see Minho trying to escape the kitchen, so you fully divert Soobin's attention to the TV, allowing Minho to stop being an unintentional third wheel. Not that this is a date.

This is how you end up snuggled into Soobin's chest, his arms wrapped around your waist as the credits roll. It's dark outside, the sun having set while the movie was still going. You yawn, looking up at him with a sleepy smile that he returns, ruffling your hair a bit and making you giggle.

"I had a good time tonight," he says, and you swear his eyes flickered down to your lips, but maybe you're being delusional.

"Me too, we should do this again sometime."

"I can think of something else I'd like to do again," he smirks and you blush.

"You know we can't-"

"They don't have to know." Soobin uses a finger to lift your chin, barely a breath away from his soft lips now. "We don't have to say anything. I know you like me Y/n, and I like you too."

Your heart is racing as he closes the distance between you, mouths moving together in a rhythm. He slowly moves you onto your back, the hand on your waist traveling down to your hip, toying with your waistband as he hovers over you and deepens the kiss. As his thumb dips under the waistband, it sets in what's happening and the feeling of guilt washes back over you, pushing him off you harshly with a hand to his chest.

Sitting up too quickly, your head spins. A hand is on your cheek, turning you to face the man next to you, but everything is too much and you smack it away. Soobin furrows his eyebrows and retracts his hand.

"I think I should go," he says, voice low.

You don't say anything as he gets up or when he slides his shoes and coat on. All you can do is stare at your hands, skin hot and tingly all over. When you hear the door open, your head finally shoots up to see Soobin leaving.

"I'm sorry-" You get up, but he's already out the door. You stare at the wood, wishing there wasn't something wrong with you.

notes -> i wanna hug yn. so, her family is coming into the picture here... doesn't seem like the greatest dynamic.

taglist -> @chaeryred @toplinelix @channie-143 @puppyminnnie @tfshouldidohere @kangaracha @chlodavids @whitney190 @thisisnotjacinta @borahae-reads @brooklynie @gini143 @kayleigh-28 @skz-streamer @babyphotos0325 @scallywag1299 @venusmoonxnight @naomisosoup @fertiliezedtoesw @s00buwu @realrintaro @anothershorthuman @skzstaykatsy @ilovejeongin007 @btswestan @multifandomedsimp @ihrtlix @raehawthorne @euphoric-univers @hyperpixie @evermourning @satsuri3su @jazziwritesthings @minhwa @wyzminho @fic-for-readers @dreamerwasfound @imsiriuslyreal @lailac13 @palindrome969 @lixie-phoria @aalexyuuuhm @sunflowerbebe07 @st4rhwa @lukeys-giggle @jabmastersupriseee @judeduartewannabe @gaysontheprince @stepout-09-15 @splat00z

^^^ orange means i can't tag you

[hypnoneghoul]

Symbol on the Surface Chapter 3

WC: 2,8k

Relationship: SwissAlps

Tags: Transmasc Swiss, Pregnancy, Mentions of Vomiting, Medical Quintessence, Panic Attack, Nausea, Food Repulsion, Gender Dysphoria, Very Brief Abortion Talk, Hurt/Comfort

“Does that fit what you were thinking?” “I’m…actually pregnant?”

Notes: Tysm to @jimothybarnes for beta reading :3

Chapter 1 here or on AO3.

Read chapter 3 under the cut or on AO3.

Swiss all but runs to the infirmary, wanting to get there before he changes his mind.

He feels stupid for even considering it.

Hoping?

Either way, something is really wrong with him and he has to get himself checked out.

The way he stumbles into Omega’s office makes the older ghoul jump behind his desk and furrow his brows; instinctively looking for injuries on Swiss “Are you okay, what’s on fire? Or who’s on fire?”

“No, no fire–or no, fire’s in my fucking guts and it’s driving me crazy,” the multi ghoul pants, slumped against the door frame. The trip shouldn’t have tired him as much as it did, “like–you know how you’re hungover and want to puke, but–that’s just nausea, but I’m rarely nauseous and lately it’s been just, oh my lord below, you know, it’s like–”

“Swiss…”

“No, no, I know, I know I sound crazy, but–my skin feels weird, my insides feel weird and my everything is so messed up,” he continues his ramble, “and I feel like absolute shit, you know when it’s like a train ran you over? Yeah, so I usually don’t care, but now I’m losing my mind ‘cause I’m low-key scared and now–now I’m here and Mountain’s asleep ‘cause I think I left a lung in the fucking toilet so–”

“Swiss!” Omega’s raised voice finally snaps the multi ghoul out of it. “Calm down and tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’m sorry, can you just–check me out for…everything?”

“Everything?” Omega questions. “Why won’t you just tell me what your concerns are?”

“Because even though I doubt it’s possible my brain decided to fixate on it and I don't want to make even a bigger fool out of myself, so just please, scan me over with your quintessence, or something, and just tell me what you see.”

The quintessence ghoul is currently more concerned with the other’s mental state, rather than his physical one, but he will do what Swiss is asking of him. After all he’s there to help, whatever the issue may be and however he has to discover it. Omega stands up and points at an empty gurney on the other side of his office. “Why don’t you sit down, try to relax a little.”

Swiss obeys, although it’s not so easy to just relax. He tries his best, taking a few deep breaths as Omega puts on his glasses and walks up to him.

“I’ll put one hand on your shoulder and the other one on your chest, is that okay?” Swiss nods. “Alright, then, let’s see…”

Omega’s quintessence flows into him and makes his entire body tingle as it travels through his veins and along his nerves and penetrates layer after layer of skin.

Swiss becomes uncomfortably aware of every single piece of his mortal vessel and tries to take a deep calming breath; it only makes him strangely aware of his lungs, too.

It’s the longest five seconds in the multi ghoul’s life, he thinks, as he feels the other inspect him whole, looking for–

Omega tries to stay professional and not make his internal shock external.

Surely not, it can’t be.

He grits his teeth and goes to double check.

How…?

“Oh…” he finally mutters, pulling back.

“‘Oh’ what!?”

“Do you, uh…” Swiss doesn’t like Omega’s confused and frankly scared expression at all, “do you want to see what I see?”

“Uhm, I guess…” He shrugs, chuckling nervously and trying his very fucking best to keep his composure. Omega steps forward and puts his hands on either side of Swiss’ head, fingers pressing lightly into his temples.

“Okay, let me in.” Swiss does—it’s easy; the anxiety is making his walls lower and thinner. He closes his eyes to focus on the image the quintessence ghoul is showing him. “So this is how I normally see a ghoul, the light is their energy, their essence. Not a soul, just…energy.”

It’s like a vague human-like shape in a darkness, in a void. The edges of the form are fuzzy and it’s filled with a faint colorful light, but what stands out is a blindingly bright orb of pure light in the middle of the shape’s chest.

“Okay. What’s wrong with mine?”

“Nothing. But this is how I’m seeing you now.” The image shifts and…three more lights, so much duller and smaller than the first one, show up in the area of Swiss’ lower abdomen.

“Oh…”

“Yeah,” Omega sighs, “does that fit what you were thinking?”

“I’m…actually pregnant?” Swiss chokes out. The words nearly get stuck in his throat, because…how can it be real? “With three kits?”

“You are,” the quintessence ghoul confirms and the ringing in Swiss’ ears gets deafening.

“H–how is that even possible?” he hears himself asking, but he can’t feel his mouth moving.

“Good question. I have no idea, I guess the best answer is that you’re a walking miracle all over and Lucifer decided to grant one more. Or rather three.”

“Can you, uhm…” his voice cracks; this is getting way too much too quickly, “can you get Mountain for me?”

“Of course. Baby daddy?”

“Yeah, I–I suppose…he’s the only one who–who gets in there,” Swiss admits, making Omega chuckle despite everything. He’s trying to stay composed, but this is a first one for him, too. He’s not as scared as the multi ghoul—obviously—but it’s…tense.

Swiss is absolutely freaking out.

“Holy–holy shit, what the fuck, oh my–oh Lucifer, what the fuck!?” he mutters under his breath. Or maybe it’s just in his head?

He doesn’t know how much time passes before they hear the door to the infirmary slam open.

“What happened? What’s wrong, my heart, are you alright?” Mountain barges in demanding answers; a strong smell of worry reaching Swiss and Omega before the earth ghoul himself does. He’s completely disheveled; it’s clear he jumped straight out of bed to come for his mate.

Swiss just stares at him, though, with glassy eyes and mouth slightly agape.

Mountain gets even more worried—it’s rare his mate is speechless. He turns to the other ghoul in the room, “Omega, what’s wrong with him?”

“Nothing’s wrong, he’s just…a little overwhelmed,” Omega replies. Mountain gets to them and immediately takes Swiss into his arms. “Swiss, do you want to tell him yourself or do you want me to?”

The multi ghoul tries to come back to earth, get himself together to consider the question that he’s just been asked.

“I–I can, uh…” he stutters and pauses to take a big breath, “I’m–I’m…pregnant. We’re…we’re having kits, big guy.”

Mountain’s jaw drops. “Wh–this…what? Are you–you’re not joking, right? That would be really cruel, please, my heart, tell me it’s not a joke, I need–we’re gonna have kits?”

His immediate excitement changes the air in the room and gives Swiss something…something positive to cling to. Physically he is clinging to Mountain already, but he finds breathing a little easier now.

“We’re gonna have kits,” Swiss confirms. His mate’s heart is pounding and he looks between the multi ghoul and Omega with his mouth agape.

“You’re both in shock right now, and understandably so,” the quintessence ghoul says, “so I’ll let you go and just text Mountain some information. I’d like to see and talk with you both about some important things to consider as soon as you feel up to it, okay? Now off you go, I’m prescribing a good meal and long sleep for both of you.”

Swiss doesn’t really register leaving the infirmary, walking through the Abbey’s corridors and getting back to the Den. Mountain all but carries him all the way, chewing on his own lip; he’s an absolute wreck inside, but has to stay strong for Swiss right now. He’ll give himself to all the emotions later, when his mate is taken care of.

They get to the ghoul’s kitchen and the smell of food makes Swiss realize where he is. It makes another wave of nausea hit him, though, and he only takes a few sips of water Mountain poured him.

“I can’t eat now,” he mumbles, “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay, I understand,” Mountain sighs, rubbing his back as he drinks, “it’s, uh…very stressful right now.”

Swiss nods and empties the glass. He only speaks again when they’re in their bedroom.

“How do we…what about the pack? They’ll notice, how can we–we can’t not tell them.”

“Not now, darling, try not to think so much, let’s try to get some sleep.”

He’d like that—he’s exhausted—but there’s so many things flailing around in his brain; it’s impossible not to think. Swiss doesn’t even notice he starts getting hotter and breathing heavier, but Mountain does; unfortunately familiar with his mate’s panic attacks.

“Hey, hey, look at me,” he grabs him with care to get his attention. “I’m scared, too, look at me, darling.”

It’s a little while before the multi ghoul can make eye contact, but once he does the fresh-grass-green of Mountain’s eyes makes him grow calmer and calmer by the second.

“I’m sorry,” he mutters before falling face first into his mate’s chest. He feels so stupid for all of this.

“No, my heart, don’t be,” the earth ghoul reassures. “I told you: I’m scared, too, but we’ll be alright.”

The embrace of Mountain’s strong arms makes Swiss’ exhaustion finally take over and he feels his eyes closing. The earth ghoul manhandles him into a cuddling position and holds him close.

A feeling akin to disgust creeps up on Swiss before he manages to fall asleep, though. It’s that strange sense of dread and wrongness he knows very well. It’s telling him this is all wrong.

Men don’t get pregnant, so it must mean he’s just—still—a girl in a pathetic disguise.

Swiss swallows against the bile rising in his throat, focuses on his mate's heartbeat under his ear and wills himself to fall asleep.

He wakes up calm. He doesn’t have the urge to throw all his guts up—at least at the moment, he doesn’t want to jinx it. He stretches a little and snuggles further into Mountain and–

Oh. It’s not morning and–

That happened.

The multi ghoul tenses up and his hands instinctively clench to grab at his mate. He’s awake and kicks up a purr in an attempt to soothe Swiss a little, “Hey, darling, it’s okay, don’t stress.”

Swiss doesn’t reply, he just takes a deep breath of Mountain’s fresh scent—the smell of the first days of summer. It’s okay.

“Ready to talk?” the earth ghoul asks after a while, when Swiss is fully awake again. He nods, sitting up.

“First of all, uh…I got that text from Omega when you were asleep and he said it’s not too late to…you know,” Swiss’ stomach turns a little at the unsaid part. He appreciates having the choice, but he can’t. “You don’t have to keep them.”

“I want to, I can’t get rid of them! I love them already, they’re our babies,” he admits and the earth ghoul’s chest warms up at the words. “And you got so excited!”

“I, uh…well, yes, I did,” he chuckles nervously. “I've always wanted to have kits and I want nothing more than to have them with you, but you have to be ready. You can't make this decision because of how I feel, it's your body.”

“No, I know, but…” Swiss sighs and drags a hand down his face. He’s so tired. “I want them, I really do.”

“Okay. Well, then, we’ll do our best to keep you safe and comfortable so that their growing spot is all cozy and when they’re here we will be the best parents that they could ever have. Right?”

“Right.” The multi ghoul nods and…that’s it. Their talk is done, their decision is made. Swiss gets a thought, though, “But what if–”

Mountain doesn’t let him finish, cutting him off with a smile on his face. “We’ll worry about ‘what if’s if any show up. Let’s go try to get some food in you now, alright?”

“Okay…” Swiss agrees, even smiling slightly himself. They climb out of bed and put on some presentable clothes to head down to the kitchen. Swiss really doesn’t want to see anyone, so they quickly grab something and all but run back to their room to hide again.

“Do you want to see Omega again today so all the inevitable stress is packed into one day and then you can relax when that’s done?” the earth ghoul asks once the food is gone. Swiss didn’t eat much—his appetite nonexistent the last few days—only nibbled at stuff here and there, but it’s better than nothing.

“Yeah, I think so,” he agrees, so Mountain texts the quintessence ghoul. He asks him to come down to the Den, to have the talk in the comfort of their own space, for Swiss’ sake. Omega, of course, doesn’t mind and is happy to do it like this.

The earth ghoul gets a chair by the bed for him and once settled in it, Omega begins his lecture. “Ghoul pregnancies are really short, only seven months. The kits come out tiny, but they grow rapidly for the next while and at around six months old they slow down and carry on like a one year old human baby would. It makes it more comfortable for a ghoul pregnant with a litter to carry on in the Pits, not be slowed down much and weaker.

However, this can look very differently Topside. This has never happened before and even though I know all about pregnant ghouls and kits in Hell and all about pregnant humans on Earth, I have no idea what to do with you.

What I know for sure is that you need a lot of rest, no weed, alcohol or caffeine. We’ll be meeting once a week to check on both you and your kits. Their elements will be a mystery until they’re born, but it seems like there’s a lot of water to them. I just hope for your sake they won’t take much earth or quintessence, at least not now.”

“Why?” Swiss asks with a frown. He doesn’t want to think about all the other things Omega has just said, it’s all so…scary and so much.

“Because it would be very dangerous for all parties involved if they got as big as a typical earth or quintessence kit,” he explains. The multi ghoul can feel his hand being squeezed by his mate. “At this point we have to be mentally prepared for anything. It’s a miracle and a mystery, anything can happen.”

Swiss and Mountain are quiet, waiting for even more scary information, but the quintessence ghoul stands up and walks to the door. “That’s, uh–I think that’s it. We should make a little group chat for the three of us and keep in contact at all times. Remember my emergency twenty-four seven number, too.”

Omega stops before he crosses the threshold and turns with a slight grimace. “One more thing…as I said, it’s a miracle. I would…wait a bit before announcing it, at least outside of the pack. As hard as it is for me to say, there’s a big chance they won’t live.”

The face Swiss makes at the words is easily the saddest thing both Omega and Mountain had ever seen. The latter brings his mate closer

“I’ll do everything in my power to help you two. Well, all five of you. I want to see those kits born and healthy in your arms,” Omega promises before leaving. The silence that surrounds Mountain and Swiss once the door is shut behind the quintessence ghoul is deafening.

“I asked the pack to give us a few days to process,” Mountain says to break it. “I didn’t say what, but you know them, nobody’s prying. They respect our need for space.”

Swiss nods and turns to bury his face in his mate’s neck.

“How about we go to the cabin for a few days?” the earth ghoul offers. “A nice week off just for us to think and relax, hm?”

“Yeah, that’d be nice,” Swiss admits and even musters up a soft little smile. Mountain can’t see it but he knows exactly how a smile against his neck feels with his mate’s stubble.

“We’ll be alright, my heart,” he whispers into his ear, “all five of us, we’ll have a little family. Everything will be okay, I love you so much.”

“I love you, too,” Swiss mumbles and shuts his eyes. His hand instinctively goes to his stomach—he’s been feeling the urge to protect it for the last few weeks, but it makes sense only now.

Mountain looks at Swiss’ hand splaying over his little bump and smiles; it’s all terribly scary, but he’s so excited and happy and proud at the same time. He puts his own hand over his mate’s and nuzzles his face into his hair.

They’ll be alright.

Taglist: @arkeusruin @skele-bunny @everybodyshusband @ratsummer @jazz-bazz @mac-and-thefox @karmicbias @wine-irytatus

[foreverisntenough]

- YOU’RE MINE -

Summary: While you daydreamed about his face an ocean apart, he had no idea what yours was about to do to him. With a twist of fate and the heat of summer, a new relationship would completely ransack his heart - Everyday heavy with the thought of one another, neither of you were going to let the unexpected love of your life go. You were going to be his, you were his, and you were going to stay his.

Warnings: This story will contain fluff, suggestion, smut and angst- not sure what else yet! Some love bombing but we love a needy Trent

Note: I was planning on keeping this just for myself so please be nice. I hope you like it! There will definitely be more parts (don’t know how many just yet though.)

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

Chapter 4 - ‘You’re Mine’

The group had finally made their way out of the penthouse, slightly more drunk than when they walked in.

“Should I get the Uber?” Someone asked in the lift.

“To… Tao? That’s embarrassing. Don’t do that. It’ll take us longer in a car than to walk.” You were strong in your words. No one including Trent had heard you deliver your words with such certainty and definitely not with a flare of aggression.

“Alright New York, relax we’ll walk” one of the boys quipped.

“Clever” you spit back grinning. Trent took your hand now going through the lobby. He was happy to have you still with him and he liked how comfortable you had gotten with the group. Ever in charge, you watched Tyler pull up maps on his phone to be sure you were headed in the right direction but you reached over and clicked his phone off.

“It’s on this street.. come on now” you rolled your eyes teasing. Tyler was amused as you and he had quickly developed a bit of banter after he teased you earlier. Trent watched you walk slightly in front of him dragging his hand behind you. He was stopping himself from drooling at your newly debuted confidence.

Tyler handled the group's arrival at the club. To be honest, as annoying as it probably was to everyone else, you were completely enraptured in whatever Trent was talking about to know what else was going on. Your hands scratched at his bare back under his shirt as he spoke to his friends. You wanted more of him. You were getting to the point of distress from his teasing. He placed slow soft kisses on your neck and they felt like catnip. You could feel your pussy tighten at the thought of him.

You all were let into the club, no IDs checked or anything. You had had tables at clubs before but you weren’t a big fan of the whole experience although you went anyway but this… this wasn't so bad.

It was weird to watch people point or take photos of Trent. He was in New York lending him some anonymity but it wasn’t enough. Once people got wind that ‘someone’ in our section was a big deal, people flocked. Trent didn’t pay any attention to it. You felt a million eyes on you but he didn’t seem to bat an eye. He was never rude if someone had caught him and asked for a picture but he was more reserved in this environment; sat far back in the area whispering only to you. He didn’t really look away from you either. His hands stoking the inside of your thigh. It was driving you crazy. You had to get up. It was starting to push you to the edge.

“Okay?” Trent pulled at your arm as you went to grab a drink from the table to distance yourself.

“I’m getting a little…” you paused not sure how much you should disclose or if he was even interested to know.

“Come on, give me a little something” he pushed. You said fuck it but still couldn’t make eye contact with him embarrassed as you whispered to him.

“Honestly” you sighed in frustration and desperation “really horny Trent” he blinked in surprise. His hand on your leg was torture, seeing the fingers of his hand so close, but so far away. You were not happy with the thought of rubbing your own pussy, you needed Trent, not just anyone, Trent, to eat you out, stretch you out, and play with your tits. You wanted him. You pulled the drink you had just grabbed to your lips trying to pretend you didn’t just admit that to him.

“You wanna go?” He meant it but you couldn’t do that to him and definitely not in front of his friends you didn’t know. You shook your head ‘no’ and Trent leaned in with a questioning hum to see if you were sure.

“No, no. I’m all good but just so you know” you smiled, pressing a kiss into his neck.

“It’s definitely noted,” he smiled at you. He pulled you into him as he stood behind you. You two were inseparable. You wanted his commentary constantly being fed into your ear. You wanted his hands to never leave you. You had drank more than you probably should by this point but kind of lost track because you were ‘keeping up’ with the boys forgetting you weighed half what they did and hadn’t drank like this in a while.

“You’re so beautiful baby” Trent cooed in your ear

“Do you actually mean that?” You looked back directly in his eyes.

“Yeah, wouldn’t just throw it out for the hell of it” you looked back at him unsatisfied wanting to really ask him about his apparent changed stance on pda with you.

“Baby, give me a kiss please” he begged with pooling puppy dog eyes. It was the first time he pulled them out of his arsenal against you. You’d seen pictures of his eyes but up close in person it felt devious. He knew. He knew he could get away with so much and so so so much particularly with you. You caved in seconds.

You were soon moaning his name into his mouth as you kissed him pulling away biting and dragging his bottom lip with you. You held it and he grabbed onto your ass a little firmer. You leaned into him, pressing your body up to his. He could feel your nipples hard through your thin top against him. He managed to sneak his hand down towards your core. He brushed over your pussy covered by your shorts and a thong you were dying for him to rip off you. It was unfair but particularly so given your recent admission.

“You’re being mean” you said to him in a unamused tone. He shrugged slyly. The night kept going and you kept drinking until Trent gave you a water

“You look thirsty baby” opening a bottle and handing it to you.

“I am for you” you winced at the line but it came out quick. You were drunkenly reaching into the waistband of his trousers trying to get him on your page. He blew air out of his mouth to compose himself trying to ignore the advances. One of Trent’s friends winked at him and shook his head amused at the obviousness of your actions toward Trent. Getting more and more impatient, you moved to be directly in front but turned to face away from him. You grinded your hips back into him, your ass pushing against his cock. You leaned your back against his chest and tilted your head all the way back. He knew you were gonna say something so he leaned his head down.

“Can you fuck me tonight…please?” it was dripping with desperation but there was something endearing about your tone, the way your lips pouted at him, the look in your eyes almost tearful. You were starting to feel like maybe he was done and you weren’t going to get any. Trent wanted to do anything to stop the look coming over you, the feelings of worry crashing over you. He could tell you genuinely started to be hurt by the wait.

“Get your things now baby” he couldn’t say no to you. He wasn’t going to say no to you ever. Trent clocked a look at Tyler, pointing at you, back to himself, then the door. Tyler nodded in understanding. You walked past a few of the boys to get your purse. You didn’t really want to say bye as it was a little blatant what was happening.

Suddenly Tyler grabbed your arm making you jump. He leaned into you so you could hear him amongst the loud music.

“Hey, you’re all good to go with him right? Like you want to? You’re fine?” He looked at you seriously like a parent would but the topic was far from a conversation you’d have with one. Your face pulling into a grin.

“Yeah, no seriously I want to go…I’m good” you couldn’t believe he cared enough to have stopped the whole train should something have been wrong. To be real it was probably more for the protection of Trent. Tyler ran a lot of stuff in his camp and definitely didn’t want to have to handle some sort of sex scandal abroad but he also gave you a squint that felt like he wanted you to be okay too. “Thank you really.”

“Yeah, all good. See you… uh later” he struggled to find the right words to wrap this up given it was a little awkward knowing exactly what you were leaving for.

You slipped back through people lacing your fingers with Trent’s as a security guard walked in front of him and you both out onto the street.

“Thanks mate” Trent nodded at the man once you were clear. Despite your drunk state, it wasn’t lost on you how crazy his life was in public and yet he was able to manage a sneaky date with you earlier. You pieced together that his image online was completely woven by him. It was him, it wasn’t a lie but he withheld so much and you needed to know all of it.

You were back in the lift of his hotel fast, his hands all over you. Yours grabbed at his face as you messily made out. You were praying he was going to give you what you wanted. You were lost in your growing feelings for him momentarily, you actually could just cuddle him and settle knowing no one else was in his bed tonight but were thrusted back into your desires when his hand grabbed onto you a little tighter. You were still adamant to get exactly what you had wanted.

The lift door slid open and he gestured for you to step out first. You giggled now your drunken state had lulled into a fun buzz. He seemed completely fine but you also credited that to being his personality. Just cool personified.

“After you baby” he said, opening the door to his room. You walked up to him but didn’t go through, you just latched onto him there in the framework. He laughed at your eagerness.

“Come on, I want you in here” you hummed at his words in excitement as he took his sneakers off. You didn’t wait for him. You needed to start this now. You walked towards the bathroom leaving the door open then Trent heard the shower turn on. He was intrigued by the move and definitely not complaining if he was going to be included. He walked into the bathroom. The tile cold beneath him. You were stood bent, leaning over onto the marble counter. Your back arched, your weight on your elbows wearing your white shirt and now just a lace black thong that was impossibly small. He came up next to you groaning at the picture in front of him. Sure, your outfit tonight left little to the imagination but he wanted you completely naked just for him. He reached and pulled on the band of your thong, snapping it back on your waist. There was something aggressive about his action that made you even weaker for him. You turned towards him and looked at him begging with your eyes. He pulled his shirt over his head and your mouth watered seeing him. He got closer to you.

“Need something?” you paused breath hitching at his physique and words.

“Do you?” You wanted to get him to say he wanted you. The yeah rolled off his tongue and onto yours as you started kissing again. He pushed you to step back. Pressing you against the wall. You maneuvered your hands to the hem of your own top pulling it over your head, your boobs bouncing out. You were close to how he wanted to see you. You pulled at the band of his trousers. He obliged happily.

“I don’t want to interrupt your shower” he was starting to bother you a little with his game so you pushed your hand against his chest. He was taken aback by the abruptness.

“Trent… please. Oh my god, please I can’t anymore. I need you” you begged. If things were different you would’ve been absolutely mortified at your words.

“I’m going to take care of you baby. I want you so bad” your jaw slacked a little at his confession.

“I genuinely thought you maybe weren’t interested. I didn’t know what you wanted anymore.” Trent laughed pushing back into your body. He reached around you into the shower and turned the water off. You looked at him quizzically.

“Not now. Later” he said with sincerity. He wasnt going to fuck you for the first time fast and hard in the shower. He cared too much “I want to take my time on you. Fuck. I need you now y/n.” He pulled you up to him. His warm hands had now fully grabbed your hips, pulling you to wrap your legs around his waist, his hands moved to cup your ass and pull you flush against his body. You could feel his crotch pressing against yours and when you felt how hard he was, you blushed.

He placed you down on the bed and looked at you laying like an angel. There was something so pure and precious about you but he knew, he could just feel if you were comfortable enough you’d be dirty for him.

“Can I take these off?” He didn’t falter. You nodded, lifting your hips easily. Trent painstakingly dragged the material down your legs and off of your body. He then moved slowly back up and over you. You whimpered as you felt his lips come around your nipples. He sucked on the left one, brushing his warm tongue left and right before tugging on it with his teeth. The level of arousement in you was getting higher and higher and the familiar knot forming at the pit of your stomach was starting to form.

“You’re so incredibly beautiful, y/n” he whispered and the honesty in the tone of his voice had you blushing even more.

“You don’t have to do that” you looked at him almost annoyed.

“Do what?” he questioned back.

“Lie” there you said it. “I’m still going to have sex with you” he pulled back after hearing your words.

“That’s not what…Baby I’m not lying.. why would I even.” He stopped and just stared looking confused.

“Is this like a game to you? Your thoughts drunkenly started to spill “Like can you tell I’m a bit broken so you’re getting off on making me act like a fool?” your words stung. He felt so vulnerable in front of you now. Where did this come from? Seconds ago you were begging for him and now you were suddenly upset he called you beautiful, accusing him of playing a game. Trent's eyes narrowed.

He needed to stop this because of a number of things 1. He promised he’d take care of you, he wanted your pussy. 2. You were his in his mind now and he sure as hell wasn’t going to let you speak like this 3. It broke his heart a little bit that his genuine feelings didn’t seem to be enough for you. It was a wish wash of emotions he didn’t really want to process but for whatever reason you provoked it out of him. He wanted to be honest with you.

“Y/N” he looked at you grabbing your attention. “I want to be yours, I want you to be mine. You are mine. I am going to take care of you. There’s something about you that’s magnetic. I need to be near you. This isn’t a joke or some sort of mean spirited ploy for sex. I really like you. I’m never like this. I’ve never called someone baby in my life. You just are, I don't know… I never even wanted to look at girls in the eye if we were messing around. I felt too guilty knowing I didn’t feel anything. Yet there you are fully clothed in the middle of the street and I can’t look away. I was ready to get on my knees and beg. I don’t know what the fuck you do or did to me but please. I want to be with you right now. You’re not broken, you are not a fool. I’m trying here. Honestly I’m being truthful. I think you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on. I’m embarrassingly obsessed… that’s being a fool. Let me like you, let me… let me make you cum” he said this as he looked back down at your naked body below him getting distracted.

“God, please” he moaned. This wasn’t even directed at you, he just wanted some higher power to let him have you. You didn’t smile at him. Tears fell over your waterline. Your heart broke at the rant. He looked panicked. He looked distraught over how he felt. You wiped at your face before he took over slowly catching any tears.

“I didn’t really anticipate making you cry in bed. Not this way at least” you slapped at him gently, a smile starting to form. “Please” he softly begged you. You nodded wholeheartedly.

Trent kissed over your whole body. Slow, dedicated, but also almost harsh. What he left behind were the signs of him, red marks and shiny spots caused by his warm spit. He could have covered your whole body and you would’ve let him. That man could have done anything, whatever crossed his mind to your body. He could’ve been an ass after your comments and you still would’ve let him embarrassingly but he was never mean to you.

He tugged at your lower lip with his teeth. Your pussy pulsing, focused on Trent’s fingers that were now tracing the inside of your thighs, threatening to come up to where you needed him most. He moved back. He tried to linger but he caved quickly at the sight of your pussy. His name fell from your lips in a hoarse moan the moment you felt his fingers running through your wet folds. With his fingers between your legs now, you were practically dripping for him.

“Fuck, you’re so wet baby “ Trent groaned. “All for me? Hm?” Trent wanted to focus on you but groaned a little more as his fingers felt your juices. Your wetness was evident to his touch and he couldn’t help but be satisfied with it. Trent gave a quick stroke to your clit before taking his hand away to bring his fingers to his mouth. “Fuck baby, I need you now. You taste so fucking good for me”

He stared at you pressing his nose to your cheek before moving his lips to yours. The kiss was hot and heavy, his tongue immediately invading your mouth and toying with yours. He slipped his hand back down your body returning to your pussy. His fingers worked away between your legs. With his middle finger, he continued to stroke through your folds, making the base of your spine tingle, but when his thumb started to draw precise circles on your clit, your body shook slightly as a deep moan got lost in his mouth

“Baby. that’s…fuck..that’s so good.” Your eyes were tearing back up. His dick twitched at your breathy moans and whimpers and whilst at this point, he couldn’t wait to feel more of you but desperately wanted to feel you falling apart on his fingers first.

“You close baby? Hm?” When he dipped another finger into your wet heat, he pulled another deep moan from you and in an attempt to push you closer to the edge, he curled his fingers even further against that one spot and pressed his thumb into your clit harder.

“Gonna be my good girl again? Cum on my fingers” Trent was taking mental notes for the night ahead of you. He didn’t miss the way your walls squeezed around his fingers that little bit more when he called you his good girl.

“Please keep going, Trent I’m so close, I’m-fuck.” With a few more curses and his name continuously falling from your lips, you came around his fingers. White hot liquid shooting through your veins, your body shuddered before you eventually collapsed back into the bed. He gradually slowed the movements of his fingers until he pulled them out completely. You sighed at the relief of your orgasm but also at the loss of contact. You pulled at Trent’s arms to kiss you only for him to shudder when your hand wrapped around his painfully hard dick. Watching you cum had made him even harder and he couldn’t wait to have you and watch you fall apart on his cock.

He rolled you over to be on top of him. You straddled his waist, seating your wet core on his thigh first. He groaned at the feeling. The feeling was overwhelming, Trent shut his eyes and rocked up against you, delirious with the friction.

“Condom?” He asked a little late, trying not to choke on his breath with the head of his cock so close to the entrance of your pussy. You shook your head no. He was surprised and he didn’t want to push back. With one hand on his shoulder, you pushed yourself up onto your knees and lined his dick up with your entrance, sinking down slowly.

His size stretched you deliciously and the slight burning only added to the pleasure running through your veins. He was so big, you could feel him in your stomach once you were fully seated and you actually needed a moment to adjust.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.”, Trent moaned as he dropped his forehead to your chest, trying to avoid cumming on the spot “Squeezing me so tightly, baby. Feels so good.” You slowly began to roll your hips at a slow pace.

“You’re such a good girl, baby. Taking me so well. You’re my good girl, aren’t you?”

“Yeah, baby.” you whimpered, squeezing tightly around his cock at the same time. Your high was approaching pathetically quickly because he seemed to know how to hit all of your right spots. “Fuck, you’re so good.”

It wasn’t long until you were nearly there, and the moment Trent attached his thumb to your clit again and rubbed it in quick circles, you fell apart on top of him, curse words and his name falling from your lips repeatedly.

You were still whining a little while Trent laughed a little, happy he held up his side of the bargain resting his forehead against yours.

“I know baby, I know. I know exactly what you need. I told you I was going to take care of you. Take care of whatever you need wherever you are; in bed and outside of it. I know how to baby. I promise I’ll give you everything but I need to hear you say you’re mine. Need to hear you tell me what I want to hear beautiful.”

You could only manage another whine, too focused on the slow drag of his cock, you could feel every hard vein and ridge of it slowly fucking into you. Trent shook his head at your broken noises.

“I know it feels good, baby, but you can do it. Use your words.”

“I’m yours.” It came out as a whisper at first, too overwhelmed by the feeling of his cock, the friction of his solid stomach against your clit as he grinded against you slowly.

“You’re mine?” He repeated, not even trying to hide the bit of smugness in his voice. “Yeah, You’re mine? Look at me baby.” Your eyes locked onto his, and he held your gaze “Are you mine?” Trent punctuated his question with a particularly hard thrust. You nodded again.

“Yeah, Trent.” You managed to mutter out when he started to fuck you again. His pace was relentless, his hips unforgiving as he moved, driving his cock in and out of you, consistently hitting a spot so deep inside you.

“Fuck, fuck, oh my- fuck.” he cursed. His fingers dug into your skin and his head fell back, as he pushed his hips up one last time before he spilled into your tight heat. Trent rolled his eyes at the way you gently moved your hips against his to help him ride out his high.

“Oh my god, Y/N.” You didn’t want him to pull out yet. you gripped your fingers on his hair and massaged his scalp, causing Trent to hum in contentment, whilst his hands caressed your back in soothing motions.

Tyler would murder Trent if he told him what just happened. On paper it sounded horrible but Trent couldn’t have been happier than he was right now with you safe in his arms. He closed his eyes imagining the reaction. ‘So she tried to get you to fuck her, then you made her cry, and the came inside of this girl he’d now known for 10 hours unprotected.’ It wasn’t great but he couldn’t stop seeing it as a positive but given the list he needed to make sure you were okay.

“Baby” he whispered to you. He pulled his hand from your back and stoked it through your hair. You moaned a little at the contact. “Okay” he smiled at your state “Happy though? He needed to know. You picked your head off his chest slightly only to kiss back down.

“Very” you muffled into his skin. He was relieved your head hadn’t gone where his went. He kept his hands on your naked body. He looked at you closer thinking about what just happened and he needed more of you.

“Baby” he cooed again. You were more awake now. You slide your hand up and down his chest in response. You felt him twitch a little beneath you. You peeled yourself up his body, lazily and messily making out with him. He held you firmly but gently before pulling away

“You’re mine now” he said, you smiled and looked up at him.

“Any particular reason you’re so set on this?” He was interested that you were interested.

“I told you, I’ve never felt this way about anyone in my life. I don’t want to freak you out but I’m kind of freaking out a little. I don’t know what you do to me. I've never felt more attached or protective over someone, let alone someone I just met.” He couldn’t look at you. He knew he sounded insane.

“I mean you’re absolutely nuts but I’m not mad about it” he smiled a little at your response as you continued talking “I don’t understand why but I also get it. I feel different about this.. us” you questioned and paused. “I don’t even know if that’s even a thing, us, but when we’re next to each other it feels right and I feel safer than I’ve ever felt. I guess I’m beating around the bush that yeah, in some weird backwards way I’m yours T.” You created the initial nickname on the spot and it warmed his heart a little more before he spoke.

“It’s a thing… us” His hands snaking up your back kissing into your neck his teeth grazing and pulling at your most sensitive spot. He got worked up quickly. “You still wet for me?” he asked, already knowing the answer. “You know I could watch you ride me all day, but I'd really want to see you on all fours baby."

Trent tapped at your ass to get your attention, but you didn't open your eyes. He playfully slapped you this time, but you ignored it once more by hugging his shoulders and rolling in his lap. On the third slap, you couldn't compress a moan and a naughty grin that Trent hyper fixated on.

"Are you enjoying this?" You just looked at him confirming what he said without saying a word. His mind was racing at what he was learning about you. You two rustled around in the sheets making out some more. There was no resistance when his bulging cock brushed against the lips of your wet pussy. He moved from under you leaving you on your stomach. He pulled you up to be on your knees. He was eager to touch you. He couldn’t wait. Your body was overcome with the white-hot pleasure of Trents thick cock squeezing into you, squeezing your eyes back shut. Your back was broken in an arch, your mouth opened in a silent cry, and your fingers entangled in the sheets beneath you.

“That’s it baby, that’s a good girl.” He praised thumbs caressing your cheeks as he slowly pulled his hips back, then pushed in again. His abdomen dragged against your clit, and your eyes squeezed shut again.

He shouldn’t tell you but Trent was loving having you like this. Against his better judgment he spoke. “I love it when you cum for me” he said against your back moving his hips so he could fuck you with slow strokes. Trent gripped your ass so he could thrust faster and deeper, enjoying your muffled moans.

"Oh fuck.. Trent..baby." His finger continued circling your clit and you came hard for a second time. You felt your arms weaken, the shiver running up your spine as the sensation took over your body once again. Trent wasn’t far behind his orgasm hitting him and he groaned out loud. His cock pulsed, his come spilling inside of you in thick ropes, he could barely breathe as your pussy squeezed around him more. You both laid completely fucked out.

“Can I say something crazy?” he barely made a sound as he tried talking.

“Because you haven’t yet tonight?” You snapped quickly cuddling your head into him to know your tone was simply a joke. You wanted to hear what he had to say.

“That’s the best sex I’ve ever had…” you picked your head up.

“Come on, don’t say that to me”

“I was trying not to but…” He groaned a little, you felt the rumble in his chest. “I thought it the first time but saying that felt like a lot and then this… it somehow got better. I’m not even joking”

“You need to … I don’t know” you laughed and shook your head. He pushed a sweaty piece of hair on your forehead behind your ear looking at you.

“I need more of you, now, that’s what I need, that’s what I want” you couldn’t believe the way Trent Alexander Arnold had unraveled in front of you. You were in disbelief but you couldn’t look away. He was gorgeous, flushed, chest rising and falling. His hand stoking you. You felt like he really cared but his words of affirmation made you nervous. No one had ever spoke to you like this. Was he serious? You couldn’t know but the sweeping thought that’d he’d be off back to his regular busy life in England felt like someone had punched you in the stomach. You couldn’t let him see your heart break. You felt like he was already bandaging you up; you couldn’t break down more.

“I think we should probably shower, shouldn’t we?” He suggested to you, you nodded softly in agreement. He carefully pulled out of you, but when you moved to sit up, he gently pushed you back down, eyes glued to your pussy, where his load slowly leaked out. Trent took two fingers, gathering and pushing it back into you. Your back arched in response, a small hiss pushed through your clenched teeth.

As soon as you felt his plumpy lips close to your core, you knew it was game over for you all over again. Trent helped himself to have full access to you by opening your folds again with his thumbs. He positioned himself in a more comfortable position and started moving his lips against your pussy. He sucked on your bud and parted your folds with his tongue, the tip frantically teasing your skin down there. It was so fast you almost missed the white wave of pleasure wash over you again. He smiled beneath you, his face slick and shiny with you.

“Alright, let’s shower.” He moved off you and the bed. His arms out to hold you and take you carefully into the bathroom.

“Baby, you’re absolutely perfect, You know that? You know you’re perfect?” he murmured into you. He let his kisses trail all over you happily. You didn’t necessarily believe him but it wasn’t a bad thing to hear from him.

The shower steam filled the bathroom. You lazily clung to him rubbing your hands with soap over his body. He liked your hands on him. There was a physical and emotional feeling of warmth with him. He just wanted to wrap around you keep you with him all the time. He was completely consumed by the thought. You watched him stare blankly. You smiled at his face and traced your finger down his sharp jawline. You were both in a haze so close together. You got through the shower slowly and not without some suggestive touches but you reached around Trent and turned the water off eventually. He didn’t move yet, he just held you close against his chest. The water continued dripping down your bodies. You couldn’t be but you wanted to be closer somehow to him.

You got out of the shower anyway and he wrapped a towel around you draping his arms over you as he stood behind you. He stared at you two in the fogged mirror blissfully.

“You’re so gorgeous” You said tilting your head up at him and scratching at his beard

“Mmmhmm, I know” he said smugly, smiling at you. You rolled your eyes at his remark. He turned you around and sat you on the counter in front of him. He stood between your legs and you slid your hands over and around his waist. He brushed his knuckles over your face. Neither of you said a word just stood in silence ogling at one another. He picked you up and brought you back to the bed. He pulled you onto his chest and tucked the comforter of the big bed over you two. He kissed the top of your head.

“Sure you don’t want me to head home?” He just laughed at your question and held you closer. It was so warm and so comfortable you weren’t exactly itching to get out of there. Your nails dragged over his chest as you continually pressed kisses into his collar bone. Trent’s body calmed and his breathing slowed. You looked up to see his eyes closed. You got up off of him swiftly.

“Aye.. nah what..” he cried out as you were no longer on top of him. You hit the bedroom lights before he could finish his sentence. You smiled at him reassuring you weren't trying to leave crawling across the bed back to him.

“Gimme one more kiss beautiful” he begged, you pulled yourself up wrapping around his neck placing a heavy but soft kiss on his plump lips. You slipped back down to lay your head on his chest again. You could feel him begin to doze off.

“It okay if we sleep a little? I’m sorry baby” he mulled.

“Sorry for sleeping?” You poked fun at him. “I’m okay, really T” you cooed. He didn’t respond, he just held you and drifted off happy to have your body on his. Then you closed your eyes. You were exhausted but the idea that the man under you was Trent, mixed with tequila and multiple orgasms your head began to hurt. You bayed in and out of sleep before you peeled your head off his chest. Holding yourself up on your arms above him you just gawked at his physique. You brushed your finger over his high prominent cheek bone. You didn’t want to wake him but you couldn’t resist touching him either. You sighed that this was all coming to a close in your mind. No matter what he said it wasn’t realistic and you had to prepare yourself for the morning. You wanted to lay back down on top of him but you couldn’t let yourself. You rolled over to his side instead just keeping him close in proximity. He shuffled at the loss of weight atop him. He reached around the bed for you pulling you back into his chest. He wasn’t going to make this easy for you.

•

Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. Please let me know what you think.

Next part is up - Chapter 5

[flatassthrowaway]

Passionate and Deeply

~Chapter One~

Y'all might actually hate me for this chapter, but you can let me know what you think.

Just a gentle reminder that this story will eventually become 18+. MDNI please.

If you didn't read the prologue, it's here. Enjoy!

A few days passed, and it was now the end of February. I haven’t seen Ford for a whole week since we met. According to Susan, I just missed him the other day.

I wonder… was he looking for me?

No, it couldn’t be. No one sought after me.

He’s probably busy anyway with his paranormal investigations. He doesn’t have time to think about lil ol’ me.

Nevertheless, he did give me his address and said to stop by whenever I wanted to talk about the paranormal.

I was finished with my work for the day, and we only had like one more hour of sunlight before it was total darkness, so I decided to go visit him. I mean, why not? It’s not like I have anything better to do.

I got all bundled up before heading out the door. As I locked the door, I noted that the icicles around my home appeared to be… moving?

I shook my head and looked at the icicles again, but they were completely still.

Sheesh, I think I’ve been working too long. Now I think the icicles are moving.

Maybe getting out of the house will do me some good.

Thankfully, his home wasn’t too far from mine. But… I did start seeing weird signs shaped as arrows that said, “To the Mystery Shack,” and “Amazing!” as well as “Enter!”

Where did he live, exactly? And why were there so many bizarre signs leading to his home?

By the time I got there, there was a young man sitting on the porch of the home, talking with…

Ford!

He was fully bundled up with a maroon jacket lined with faux fur, and dark jeans with dark brown winter boots.

“There you are, Ford!” I called him, rushing over.

He turned around and raised an eyebrow. “Uh… what? Do I know you, kid?” He asked in a raspy voice.

Oh no! I wonder if he caught a cold? Although, it sounds like he’d been smoking for a while to have that kind of voice. I didn’t notice it during our time at the diner.

“Come on, Ford! It’s me!” I told him my name again. “Don’t tell me you forgot me already!”

“Kid, listen! I told you I don’t know who you are! Now leave us alone and get outta here!” He said in an even rougher tone, and he turned his back to me.

I sighed sadly. I guess he really doesn’t remember…

“Wait a sec, girl dude! Mr. Pines, why are you being so mean to the nice lady? She’s just looking for your brother,” the man on the porch spoke. He wore a dark green jacket, grey sweatpants and black winter boots.

“What…? Brother?” I asked. This man looked identical to Ford!

Twins…?

The man sighed and turned around. “I’m not Ford. My brainiac brother is inside. I’m Stanley Pines, but you can call me Stan,” he introduced.

“And I’m Soos, Mr. Mystery himself! I, along with my wife and grandma, live here with Mr. Pines and his twin brother,” Soos introduced.

I smiled. “Well, it’s nice to meet you Soos… and Stan.”

“You too, girl dude!”

The door then opened, revealing a young woman who appeared to be the same age as me, but she was heavily pregnant. She wore a long sleeved lavender dress that fell to her feet, and white fluffy slippers. She had light brown wavy hair that was pulled up in a ponytail, hazelnut brown eyes, and tan skin.

“Soos? Mr. Pines? Dinner’s ready!” She told them.

“Finally! Thanks Mel,” Stan said, leaving the three of us.

Well at least I found people in my age range. The woman, who I assume is Mel, turned to me. “Oh, hello! Soos, who’s this?”

Soos introduced me to her. “And this is Melody Ramirez, my lovely wife, and soon-to-be mother of my child,” he said.

I smiled. I could feel the love radiating from his words about his wife. He truly loves her.

“Nice to meet you, Melody,” I said.

“You as well,” she said. “Hey! Why don’t you come in for dinner? We’re having meatloaf tonight!”

“Oh… I wouldn’t want to impose…” I trailed off.

“Hey, don’t worry about Mr. Pines,” Soos said my name. “He’s a little rough at first, but he’s one of a kind. Plus, his twin brother is here, which is who you really wanted to see, right?”

I nodded. “Yes…”

“So come in! I’d hate for you to be left out in the cold,” Melody told me.

I smiled and nodded as Soos went in, and I went in after him, instantly feeling much warmer. I took my shoes off, and once I finished, Melody and Soos gave me a strange look.

“What is it?” I asked.

“This isn’t a shoe free home. You can keep your shoes on,” Melody told me as Soos went to the table.

I shrugged. “Mine is. I suppose old habits die hard.”

“As long as you’re comfortable. Come on, let’s get you some food,” she said, guiding me to the dining table.

An elderly woman, who I assume is Soos’ grandmother, happily dished out food, and I saw Stan and Ford side by side, seemingly bickering. Soos was at the head of the table and started eating the food in front of him.

There was meatloaf, mashed potatoes, mashed sweet potatoes, kale, broccoli and asparagus. There was a large pitcher in the middle that was steaming.

This truly looks like a feast.

As I approached the table with Melody, I heard what the bickering between Ford and his brother was about.

“But you told me I ought to make some more friends! I finally made another one and you’re irate over it?!” Ford said incredulously.

“Poindexter, I said find a friend, not someone you can fuck around with,” Stan said.

Ugh, he’s one of those guys.

“Ay! Language!” The grandmother scolded Stan. “Not in front of mi bisnieto!”

“Sorry toots,” he told her before turning to Ford. “But I’m serious, Poindexter. If-“

“Um, Mr. Pines-“

Stan cut Soos off. “Not now, Soos! I’m tryin’ to-“

Soos cut Stan off. “But Mr. Pines, she’s right here!” Soos cried.

Both Ford and Stan looked at Melody and myself, and went wide eyed.

“Well… shit,” Stan said.

“Stanley Pines!” Abuelita scolded him.

“Sorry! Sweet Moses…”

Melody turned to me and smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry about this. It’s normally not this noisy. Or rude,” she told me apologetically.

I shook my head. “No harm done,” I told her.

Melody sat down next to her husband, and Abuelita begrudgingly took a seat next to Stan. Seeing four empty seats, I took the one next to Melody. I wonder why there’s so many?

Actually, Ford did say his niece and nephew visited, so maybe it was for them.

Melody and I dished out for ourselves, and we began eating, along with the rest of the family.

“I just wanted to thank you for inviting me into your home,” I told them.

“Anytime, cariño. It’s nice to see that my granddaughter-in-law has a friend who she can share things with,” Abuelita told me.

Aww, she’s so kind. She reminds me of my own grandmother. I miss her…

“Actually Abuelita, she’s a friend of Ford,” Melody corrected her. “Although I wouldn’t mind being friends.”

“It would be nice to have a girlfriend here, I agree,” I told her.

“Oh? Wow, you must really like her to invite her here Mr. Stanford. Never invite anyone to our home, except that hillbilly man,” Abuelita remarked as she continued eating.

Ford doesn’t appear to trust people. I guess that’s one thing we have in common.

Except that hillbilly man she spoke of. I wonder who he is.

Ford scratched the back of his head. “Why, yes. I believe that she would make a great co- I mean female friend,” he replied.

“Oh, that’s so wonderful!”

“So,” Soos said my name in between bites of his food. “What brings you to our wonderful town?”

I smiled. “I’m here for work,” I told him.

“Yeah, what kinda work you do?” Stan asked.

“Stanley, it’s ’what kind of work do you do?’” Ford corrected him.

“Poindexter I swear if you start with that grammar shi-“ Stan cut himself off when he noticed Abuelita was glaring at him. “I mean that grammar thing, we’re gonna have some problems!”

Ford rolled his eyes as I told everyone what I did for work.

“Oh, so you can travel and still maintain the same kind of work? That’s cool!” Melody said.

I smiled. “Thanks.”

“Listen, let me cut to the chase,” Stan told me. “How long ago did you meet my brother?”

“About a week ago,” I said.

Stan turned to his brother. “Normally I’d be happy for you, Sixer, but I don’t like this,” he told his brother.

“Stanley, why is-“

I drowned out their bickering and quickly finished my food. I thanked Melody, Soos and Abuelita for having me, and Melody went to see me off.

“I’m sorry about that again. You’re always welcome back here… with or without those two.”

I chuckled. “Thanks, Melody. I hope to speak with you further at a later time.”

“Me too. I hope this doesn’t taint your experience of Gravity Falls. It’s a wonderful town, I promise,” she told me as I donned my winter boots again.

“Thank you, Melody. Have a good night. Rest well,” I told her.

“Thanks! See you around,” Melody told me as she waved.

I waved back as I stepped outside, and began trekking home. The wind was cold and bit at the exposing skin on my face.

I knew I should have brought a face cover.

“Wait!” I heard a familiar voice call my name.

I turned around to see Ford running up to me. He caught up to me and gave me an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry for what my brother said about you. He should have never said those demeaning words to describe you,” he told me.

I shook my head. “It was coming from a place of concern, so I understand,” I told him as we kept walking to my home. “I mean… I’d be a little surprised if he was on board with our budding friendship. Honestly… I’m surprised I’m not too young for you.”

Ford raised an eyebrow. “Why would that be a problem?” Ford asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. You hear stories about young people like me taking advantage of older people? I think that’s what your brother is afraid of…”

“I’m sure you’re very smart dear, but I am rather intelligent. I would know if you were trying to take advantage of me,” Ford told me.

I gave him a half smile. “That’s the thing, Ford,” I told him. “You can be as smart as Einstein, Newton and Tesla combined, but emotions can cloud your judgement no matter how smart or how dull you are. Maybe… maybe your brother is right. Maybe we shouldn’t pursue this friendship…”

We arrived at my house, and he turned to me. “Is that what you want?” Stanford asked. “Please, look me in the eye and tell me that this is what you want.”

I looked at him, and… I can’t tell him that.

Maybe it’s because I’ve gone without having any close friends for so long, but… I really, really don’t want our budding friendship to end. It’s been so long since I had a friendship that I actually felt good about.

“I-“ I cut myself off.

The chime of the icicles interrupted me. I looked away from him as I saw the icicles come to life. And… I wasn’t going crazy! They really are mice!

“Ahh!” I cried, startled that the icicles turned into mice. We both heard a beeping coming from him. Ford turned around and looked at what I saw, and he breathed a sigh of relief, his breath manifesting in a small bit of mist escaping his mouth.

I looked at him in confusion. How the hell was he not freaking out?

“Well, I finally found it. The anomaly we were looking for,” Ford said, taking out a tablet and taking a picture of the ice-made mice.

What… the hell?

I was absolutely dumbfounded. Was this a part of his paranormal investigations?

“Is that… what?” I said in shock.

This was the first time I heard him genuinely laugh. It was… it was pleasing to hear.

“I’m sorry they gave you a fright. These little guys were what I was looking for,” Ford told me, softly caressing one of them with his index finger. These little icicle mice were rather… affectionate? It rubbed its tiny head against his finger.

“So this is what you do,” I said. “You never answered me in terms of what you did, after all.”

Ford scratched the back of his head. “Ah, that is true. I suppose I do owe you.”

I looked at him expectantly, and he turned a little pink. I looked away in order for him to feel more comfortable. I have been told that my gaze is a little jarring.

“In short, you were right to say that I am a paranormal investigator,” he told me. “I am also a scientist and adventurer.”

I smiled. “Ha! I knew it!” I said, watching the little icicle mice curl up with each other to create one large icicle.

It’s so interesting how… they even exist.

“I just hope… the experience with my brother doesn’t dissuade you from coming to see me again,” he told me. “I meant it when I said you could come and see me whenever you wanted to talk about paranormal topics.”

I smiled at him. “Thank you, Ford.”

He gave me a kind smile in return. My smile dropped, and he gave me a concerned look, almost as if to ask me what was wrong.

“Why didn’t you tell me about your brother when we were in the diner?” I asked.

Ford sighed. “To be frank… I try not to talk about him. Not because I’m ashamed of my brother, but…”

I nodded, gesturing for him to continue.

Ford scratched the back of his head. “Well, perhaps I can tell you at a different time.”

I nodded. “Whatever is most comfortable for you.”

“While I have you here…” Ford trailed off. “Why did you give me the exact change of the bill? Even after you went on that tirade about needing me to be a gentleman?”

I raised an eyebrow. “It most definitely was not a tirade! I said one sentence!” I retorted. “But, with that being said… I would be comfortable telling you that at a different time.”

Ford nodded. “I see. Perhaps instead of you dropping by unannounced, we set a date for when we can speak about our favorite topic,” he told me with a smile.

I gave him a small smile. “At long last, a solution!” I said playfully.

Ford chuckled. “Friday almost always seems to be a good day for spending time with others, if my people watching is anything to go by.”

I chuckled. “This Friday it is,” I told him. “I didn’t realize you were such a stalker, Ford~”

Ford blushed when I said this, and scratched the back of his head.

Mbjr mbjr mbjr mbjr

Zopa zopa zopa

Why the hell do I always do that? I always make people uncomfortable and put my foot in my mouth! This is why I can’t keep any friends! Now this nice man doesn’t even want to meet up anymore.

Thankfully, he did crack a smile and chuckled, which relieved some of my anxiety.

“Goodnight,” he said my name. “Rest well.”

“Goodnight, Ford. You too,” I told him. I waved to him as I went inside and closed my door, and it wasn’t until then that he started walking back to his home.

Also, what the hell was he talking about when he said that house was eerily quiet? That was a lively home!

Whatever. I’ll bust his chops about it later.

For now, I sleep.

Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are always appreciated!

Next part is here!

[mymoodwriting]

Because You're Mine

Female!Reader x Werewolf!SKZ

Genre: A/B/O

Warning: Insomnia, Anxiety, Panic Attack, PTSD, Pheromones, ABO Dynamics, Mentions of Assault, Physical Assault, Restraints, Gags, Abuse, Physical Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Bullying

Words: 4.6K

Chapter One

(//Next) (@starillusion13)

Prompt: With omegas completely removed from society, they needed their own communities and institutions to grow. All your life you had lived and gone to school alongside your fellow omegas, and orphaned alphas. You had managed to keep yourself together, but now at the university level, keeping your secret had grown impossible. You had to face your fears and make friends with an alpha eventually, and now was the time.

“Can you believe it!? Tomorrow is graduation…”

“… yay…”

“Could you be any more excited?”

You sighed, staring up at the blank ceiling. You had honestly been dreading this day for years now, but it finally caught up to you. Graduation should be something to celebrate, but it just meant things were going to get harder for you. It was the reason why you were still awake so late into the night. You were anxious about tomorrow, whereas your roommate and best friend Jisung was excited. Even if he was making a joke he knew what was on your mind.

“Y/n… after graduation we’re gonna be moved to a different campus, a bigger one, and there-”

“I know.”

“You’re gonna get found out sooner or later… you should tell someone so-”

“No. I’m fine.”

“Y/n… you can’t hide this forever…”

“You can’t tell anyone!”

“Y/n-”

“Promise me, Jisung.”

“I promise I won’t tell anyone… but I am worried about you…”

“I’ll be fine. I’ll figure something out.”

“Don’t forget I’m here for you.”

“I won’t. Thanks, Jisung.” 

“We should probably get some sleep though.” Jisung chuckled. “Big day tomorrow.”

“Yeah… good night, Jisung.”

“Good night, y/n.”

♥♥♥♥♥

Even if you only slept a few hours you still needed to be up early for graduation. You woke up before Jisung, letting him sleep in a bit more before getting him out of bed. Both your outfits were simple, but you still had to check in early at the ceremony site. It was kind of weird to have such a big celebration considering no one was here to see you. All the alphas and omegas here were orphans, never having known their parents. Besides faculty and staff, and the graduates themselves, no one else would be present. It made it feel like something was missing, but then again you just wanted this whole thing over with. After the long ceremony everyone was given a few hours to refresh and rest before the big party would begin. Of course you had no desire to attend, so you were just glad you could turn in early and enjoy a quiet night.

“Are you really not going?”

“It’s not her scene, Felix.” Jisung explained. “You gonna be alright?”

“Yup.” You smiled. “The whole dorm is gonna be quiet, so it’s like I have it all to myself.”

“That doesn’t sound bad at all. I’ll message you when I’m on my way back.”

“Cool. Now you two have fun.”

“Will do.”

Besides Jisung, you didn’t have many other friends. There was Felix who you knew pretty well, but he was more Jisung’s friend than yours. You were just fine with your mini circle of friends, although you weren’t sure how it would develop going forward. After graduation everyone got a week to just do as they pleased before the moving began. No one really had much to their name so when it came time to move it was fairly easy. You got lucky that Jisung was still your roommate, and you both loved the spacious upgrade to your dorm situation.

While in your high school years your dorm was pretty small, and for omegas only, the alphas had their own building. The school itself was also a decent size that could accommodate everyone that was there. For those couple years the alphas and omegas were separated with a few classes being co-ed. It would still be the same at the university level, but there was more of a choice. The alphas still had certain classes to take that were only for them, but omegas could pursue any type of knowledge by either taking omega only classes, or the co-ed ones.

The campus itself was also different. There were more students around in general. Those a year ahead of you, and also other incoming freshmen from other academies. It did feel a bit overwhelming, but you had a plan to make things easier for yourself. Besides the classes, there were some omega only spaces, and you’d be sticking to those. You wanted to pursue science and learn more about your world, whereas Jisung was excited to get into the arts. He was always very creative and passionate so you were excited to see where things went for him.

You took omega only classes, and afterwards you’d continue your studies in the library. There was an omegas only section there, and you always reserved a study room for yourself. On occasion Jisung and Felix would join you, having homework they needed to do. If you weren’t in class or at the library you’d simply go back to your dorm. There were plenty of omega only activities that you could participate in, but you preferred to keep for yourself. Although you were glad there was an arts class you and Jisung shared, Felix too.

“Y/n, you’re not looking too good.” Felix commented. “Are you okay?”

“Hm? I’m just tired, stayed up late last night studying.”

“Why did you choose science? It can be pretty hard.”

“Yeah but there are some questions I want to find answers for.”

“But aren’t the more advanced classes co-ed?” Jisung mentioned. “You’d only be able to go so far.”

“I know.”

“What does that mean?” Felix questioned.

“Nothing.” You assured. “I’m gonna head back to the dorm and catch up on some sleep. You guys can use my study room reservation if you need to.”

“Thanks.” Jisung smiled. “You get some sleep.”

“Will do. You two stay out of trouble.”

“No promises.”

When you got back to your dorm you put your bag down and dived into bed, snuggling the sheets. Luckily sleep came easy, so you got some good rest. You woke up a few hours later, checking the time and seeing you still had some daylight. You got out of bed to freshen up so you could do your assignments. While you were in the bathroom you heard the door unlocking, a bit surprised to hear that Jisung was back so soon. Usually he’d barely be getting out of a class at this time.

You stepped out to go greet him, and then the scent hit you. Jisung wasn’t at the door, it was an alpha. You quickly scrambled back to the bathroom and locked the door. You were already finding it difficult to breathe but you needed to calm down in order to hide yourself. You had no idea why an alpha was in your dorm, or how they got a key, but you didn’t care for it. All you wanted was for them to leave. You heard some rummaging around, and then things got quiet. You thought maybe they had left, but then you heard the bathroom door knob jiggle, followed by a knock.

“Are you okay in there?”

The voice was not Jisung at all, nor was it anyone you recognized. Of course it wasn’t anybody you knew, you didn’t socialize with alphas.

“I’m fine!” You stammered out. “Please… please leave…”

“Are you sure? You sound stressed and your scent-”

“Go away!”

You wanted to get away from the door and wound up tripping over the floor mat. You hit your head against the wall, reaching over to the wound and feeling the throbbing from the pain.

“Are you okay!”

Now the alpha was trying to open the door again with far greater urgency. Your vision was a bit blurry, but hearing the alpha try to break in shot your fear up to eleven. With the pain in your head, and the feeling of impending doom it was becoming very hard to breathe or focus. You screamed when you heard the alpha throwing themselves against the door. You were frozen in fear, starting to cry, and desperately hoping they’d hear your cries for them stop. It didn’t help though, and soon enough the door swung open. You couldn’t see the alpha through your tears, but they didn’t hesitate to approach you, even if you tried to push them away.

“Let me see. Are you hurt?”

The alpha pulled you into their arms and moved your hand away, examining your head. Thankfully you weren’t bleeding, but now that they were close they could smell the fear and panic on you.

“What’s wrong? Did someone-”

“Go away!”

You tried to push the alpha away from you again, but they only grabbed your hands which made you squirm all the more. You desperately tried to pull away but they kept their grasp firm, and only pulled you closer to them. They spoke softly to you, looking at you with sincere concern on their face.

“What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” The alpha asked. “It’s okay, you’re not bleeding. You’re not hurt, you’re just fine.”

You continued to scream and thrash, just wanting the alpha to leave you alone and go away but they weren’t listening. Instead they pulled you into their embrace and wrapped their arms around you, trying to sooth you.

“Deep breaths, it’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.”

You couldn’t get away from their scent now that your face was buried in their chest. They smelled nice, and you could definitely tell they were trying to calm you down but it was directly clashing with your desire to escape. You were still trying to fight, but their scent was getting to you, turning your screams into silent cries.

“There, there, you’re okay, you’re okay, I got you.”

“Y/N!”

Jisung returned to the dorm out of breath, looking around in a panic while calling your name. Soon enough he found you in the bathroom and his eyes went wide.

“Let her go, Chan!”

Without hesitation Jisung pulled Chan away from you, shoving him out of the bathroom and focusing his attention on you.

“Are you okay, y/n? Hey, can you hear me?”

“… jisung… is that… you…”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s me. Are you okay? I’m so sorry.”

“… jisung…”

You were still scared and out of it, your eyes were starting to tear up again. You could barely talk through your sobs.

“It’s okay, I’m here, it’s okay. Let’s get you out of these clothes and into a shower.”

Jisung got up to turn on the shower head, making sure the water was warm before putting you under it. He got you out of your shirt, and took off his own jacket, holding it out to you.

“Here. That’s my scent, just take a deep breath. You’re okay.”

“Jisung-”

“Get out!”

Jisung got up and pushed Chan away, shoving him out of the dorm. The other boy didn’t fight him, but was very confused over the situation.

“Jisung, what-”

“Get out before security realizes you’re here. And not a word of this to anyone!”

“What just happened!?”

“Nothing, now go.”

Jisung shut the door and took a breath before getting back to you. He found you with your face buried in his jacket, now completely soaked from the water. After a while he helped you out of the shower, drying you off with a towel and tossing your wet clothes in the corner. You leaned against him, resting your head on his chest, breathing in his scent and gradually calming down. You felt much better now.

“I’m sorry.” Jisung apologized. “It slipped my mind that you were in the dorm. I thought it’d be no problem to have Chan come and get something of his while I was in class. This is all my fault, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine… nothing bad happened…”

“I’ll talk to him, make sure-”

“It’s okay, Jisung. I’m glad you’ve made friends.”

“You can be mad at me, you know.”

“Why would I be mad?”

“I don’t know. I put you in danger…”

“It wasn’t your fault.” You assured. “How did you meet this alpha anyway?”

“Oh, we’re in the same class and share a couple interests. So we kind of hit it off from there.”

“Look at you, making friends.”

“Stop it.”

“Just saying. I’m happy for you.”

It took a bit but you were able to put the whole thing behind you and continue with your life. Jisung didn’t bring it up again, but he was a bit more cautious around you. The only difference was that every now and then you would see Chan around Jisung. You knew they were friends and nothing bad was gonna happen, but you still felt uneasy. Whenever Chan would notice you around you’d quickly avoid his gaze and hurry along with your business. Besides all that you didn’t think anything would come of the previous incident, but you were wrong.

“Ms. y/n?”

“Uh… yes… how can I help you?”

“The headmaster wants to see you.”

“Wa… what for…”

“Please come with us.”

After one of your classes two faculty members, along with a security guard, approached you. Just seeing them put you on edge, so the fact they were asking for you specifically made it worse. You had no choice in the matter but to go with them.

♥♥♥♥♥

“Jisung!”

Felix came running into the cafeteria, finding his friend at one of the tables. He interrupted the group conversation but he didn’t care. He took a moment to catch his breath before speaking.

“What’s up?”

“It’s y/n…” Felix breathed. “I saw her being escorted by faculty and security.”

“What!? Why!?”

“I don’t know, but she seemed scared.”

“Scared… what would-”

Jisung stopped in his tracks and looked over at Chan. The boy was silent, but a glint in his eyes told Jisung everything.

“What did you do!”

“There’s something going on with your friend and I’m trying to help.”

“You’ve done the opposite of help.” Jisung snapped. “Fuck!”

There was only one place you’d wind up. Jisung got up, leaving his things behind and bolting out of the cafeteria. Chan chased after him and caught up to him, holding him back.

“Where are you going?”

“None of your business!”

“Jisung, whatever’s going on isn’t good.”

“You don’t know anything!”

“All I know is that she was panicking for no reason and I wasn’t actually helping.”

“You have no idea.”

“Then explain it to me.”

“It’s not my story to tell, and it’s too late now. So let go!”

“You’re not gonna get her out of this.”

“I know that, but she’s also not gonna be able to speak for herself.”

♥♥♥♥♥

You nervously sat outside the headmaster’s office, fidgeting with your hands and shaking your leg. This could be nothing related to what you were thinking, but at the same time it could be. If that was the case, well, Jisung always told you that you’d get found out in the end. While thinking of him you suddenly heard your name called.

“Y/n!”

Jisung came running down the hall towards you. He was out of breath but still took your hand, pulling you onto your feet and into a hug.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m scared…”

“I know, I know, but everything’s gonna be okay.”

“Jisung…”

“Deep breaths. I’m here with you.”

Jisung took his jacket off and put it on your shoulders, pulling you into his arms. Just then the door to the headmasters office opened. The secretary asked for you to step in, but Jisung wasn’t going to let you go in alone. He kept a hold of your hand and pushed his way into the office with you.

“What’s going on?” Headmaster Shim asked. 

“I want to ask the same thing.” 

The headmaster raised a brow and Jisung quickly apologized. Even if he had the strength to stand up for you, the headmaster was still an alpha and held power over any omega.

“… sorry… I… I need to know why you called y/n here.”

“Why?”

“The matter may pertain to me. I’ve been her roommate since high school.”

“I see. This may pertain to you as well. Sit. Both of you.”

You both sat down in front of the headmaster’s desk, Jisung still holding your hand. You couldn’t make eye contact with the headmaster, and kept your head low. That way Jisung’s scent was right in your face and could keep you calm.

“Now. I received a report of unusual, and concerning, behavior in regards to y/n. I’m beginning to understand the reason for the report. So, which of you will explain?”

“That depends. You-”

“Mr… what was your name again?”

“Jisung. Han Jisung.”

“Mr. Jisung, you seem to know more about this incident than anyone else. I’m not happy with what I am seeing right now, and I need to know what is going on in order to fix it. So please, tell me what is going on.”

Jisung glanced over at you. He couldn’t imagine how you felt right now being so close to an alpha, but he could feel a slight tremble coming from your hand. He knew there was no hiding this anymore. For your sake he needed to speak the truth, no matter what happened. Jisung got up and pulled you into his arms again, softly rubbing your back.

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.” Jisung took a breath. “Headmaster Shim.”

“Yes?”

“Y/n was assaulted her sophomore year of high school.”

“Excuse me?”

You buried your face into Jisung’s chest, trying to focus on his scent and not his words. You couldn’t help the tremble in your body, biting your lip to hold back tears. You thought you could forget that horrible night, but it always lingered in the back of your mind. You feared the day it would come to light as you had no idea what the consequences would be.

♥♥♥♥♥

“We told you to back off!”

You were always a loner that kept to herself. You only managed to make friends with your roommate Jisung, and were kinda friends with his friend, Felix. Besides that you stuck to yourself. You didn’t cause trouble, and you never wanted to, but it wound up finding you. There was this alpha in your class. Super pretty and very popular. He had both alphas and omegas fawning over him. You weren’t interested, but apparently he was interested in you. Because of that you had a target on your back

Just because alphas and omegas were meant to end up together, it wouldn’t stop them from dating one another while young. Even then one didn’t know what the future held. It made sense for omegas to fawn over alphas, but the opposite wasn’t so common, especially when it was an alpha crushing on an omega. What upset everyone the most is that you weren’t already crushing on the alpha, so the others felt like you didn’t deserve his affections. You only thought he was being nice to you, and you were grateful for that, but you didn’t think there was much else to his kindness. Although you’d soon learn it didn’t come with consequences.

You’d always stay late after classes to get your assignments done. So by the time you left the library the school would mostly be empty. After one of your study sessions you were making your way through the empty hall when you were suddenly attacked. A bag was placed over your head and you felt multiple hands grabbing you and dragging you away. You didn’t know what was happening, but you knew you were being taken down some stairs. Then you had your hands tied behind your back, and your legs tied together. The bag over your head never came off, but it was pulled up in order to gag you.

Once you were restrained things got quiet. You could hear multiple heartbeats around you, and some low whispers. Then you began to catch scents. You couldn’t identify anyone at the moment, but you knew that they were all alphas. You had never been afraid of alphas before, or saw them as greater than you, but this was seriously scaring you. After a long while you felt this crowd approach you, someone kicking you over onto your back. You moved over to be on your side but got shoved onto your back again, someone putting their foot on your chest to keep you still.

“You should’ve known better.”

“An alpha like that wouldn’t choose someone like you. So what did you do!”

“She’s just a desperate omega trying to get attention.”

“If you want the attention of an alpha there are plenty others to choose from.”

“So how are we gonna teach this omega a lesson?”

“I have an idea. Got this from the infirmary.” 

“What is it?”

“No idea, but it’s not meant for students.”

“Are you sure it won’t kill her?”

“Doubt it, but we can give her a little bit just to be safe.”

You started squirming again when you heard them talk about giving you something, but the pressure on your chest only got more severe. You already felt like you couldn’t breathe, and the panic you were feeling only made it worse. You felt the bag over your head being lifted up, followed by a pinch on your neck. You started desperately thrashing around to no avail, and soon enough you began to feel uncomfortable in your own skin. It started off gradually, like a fever, but it was soon becoming unbearable. You didn’t want to cry, but you were certainly screaming into the gag, desperate for anything to make this feeling go away.

You could hear laughter though. Everyone had stepped back to watch the show, to watch you suffer. After a while you stopped screaming and were just crying for help, but they all ignored you. Sometimes they’d step forward to kick you, wanting to see your reaction. Your head was spinning, and your body was tired from fighting the restraints. You were certain you were going to pass out soon enough, but they weren’t gonna let you go quietly. Now that you had calmed down they got closer, poking at you softly. Even if they were so close you couldn’t identify anyone, all you had was a mixing scent of alphas and no one else. They kept bothering you until you actually passed out, realizing you were no fun unconscious.

Even when you woke up later you had no idea how much time had passed. You were still in the dark, your body sore and aching all over. You couldn’t even bring yourself to cry or scream, everything having been rung out of you. In this situation you weren’t even sure if anyone would find you, or if the alphas that did this would drop a hint as to where you were. The thought of dying there crossed your mind, it was so grim, but you had no idea what those alphas were capable of doing. At some point you must have passed out again, but with the bag over your head it was hard to figure out if you were really awake or not.

“Y/n!”

You heard your name being called, and even though you were exhausted your body tensed up. You were trembling from fear, whimpering as well. When you felt a hand on you your body flinched.

“I’m sorry… just…”

You felt the bag come off your head and immediately shut your eyes. You needed a second to adjust to the light. Whoever was here helped you sit up, giving your arms a bit of a break. You slowly peeked your eyes open, coming to find a familiar face. You felt tears well up in your eyes, your body relaxing a bit as well.

“What happened to you…”

Jisung undid your arms and legs, getting the gag off you as well. Once you were free you started crying and Jisung gently pulled you into his arms. Breathing in his scent further put you at ease, and he just held you for however long you needed him to. You’d later find out it was the next morning. After missing two classes Jisung ditched the next to go looking for you. Everyone thought you were sick but he wasn’t buying it. After all, he was your roommate and knew you weren’t in the dorm. Not to mention when he went to sleep and woke up you weren’t there. He retraced your steps and followed your fading scent from outside the library, finding you in a wretched situation in the basement.

You were in no condition to be going to class, although you pleaded with Jisung to just get you back to the dorm instead of going to the infirmary. Despite his better judgment he did as you asked. Back at the dorm you took a cold shower, wanting to wash everything away. You broke down again and Jisung held you, doing his best to assure you that everything was going to be alright. When you were strong enough you told him what had happened to you. He wanted to go to the headmasters office now more than before but you didn’t want to make a big deal of this or get them in trouble. You sounded crazy to him, but you begged him to keep quiet.

Jisung kept your secret, but he also kept a closer eye on you. He didn’t leave you alone after that, and he could also see how you changed. You avoided the alphas from the class, all of them. You didn’t know who was responsible but the scent of an alpha alone would make you panic. Jisung was weary of all the alphas too, but he just focused on looking after you and getting through the rest of the year. Over time you were able to be like your old self, but he knew you’d never be the same again. You still avoided all the alphas, even the teachers. You were doing okay, but Jisung knew that the truth would get exposed one day.

♥♥♥♥♥

“Why wasn’t this reported earlier?”

To say that headmaster Shim was angry was an understatement. For a second Jisung tensed up from the shift in scent, but they quickly composed themselves.

“I… she didn’t… she didn’t want to get anyone in trouble…”

“The reason for the OCPD is to look after omegas. If any alpha were to go against that ideal then they are not fit to be agents.” Headmaster Shim took a breath. “I will gather a list of the alphas from your high school class and we’ll need to-”

“No.”

You were shaking your head, trembling in Jisung’s embrace. The incident may have been nearly three years ago but it felt like just yesterday for you.

“I’m overlooking the fact that you didn’t report this to me when it happened, but the guilty party can not go unpunished. Miss y/n here may not be the only victim to this type of cruel behavior. Not to mention a staff member from the infirmary failed to report a supply discrepancy. This goes beyond just the two of you.”

“I… I’m sorry…” You mumbled. “I’m sorry…”

“What happens then?” Jisung asked. “After you catch those responsible.”

“They’ll be removed from the institution and miss y/n needs to begin therapy.”

“Therapy?”

“She’s been trembling since she set foot in here because I’m an alpha. And her records show she avoids any interaction with alphas in general, not to mention her behavior in regards to the recent incident. You also need to explain that one. An alpha shouldn’t be in the omega dorm.”

“Right…”

“For now the priority is with miss y/n. We can have a separate conversation later.”

“Of course, but I don’t want y/n going through any of this alone.”

“I appreciate that, but you are also an omega like herself. Part of her therapy will involve reworking her relationship with an alpha. I’ll need to find someone to-”

“Chan…” You whispered.

“Huh?” Jisung questioned. “What did you say?”

“Chan… he… he’s okay…”

“What?”

“Is that your choice?” Headmaster Shim asked. “You’d like him to assist with your situation going forward?”

“… yes…”

“That’s good. It gives us a good starting point.”

“You want to hang out with Chan?” Jisung wondered. “Really?”

“He was nice…”

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 51:

And why l've spent my whole life trying to put it into words

Masterlist - Previous - Next

"I'm pregnant, not sick.." I mumbled, for what felt like the millionth time in the past few days.

"I know, but you don't have to do everything alone. Just let me help you!" Charles pleaded and I sighed "Please..."

"No." I kept rummaging through my suitcase, looking for my bikini.

"Let me at least-.." he began but I glared at him "You know what? No. I don't care if you're mad at me. Here..." he gently pushed me aside, grabbing my suitcase and lifting it onto the chest at the end of the bed "Now, be mad or whatever..." he sighed and started to walk away when I grabbed his wrist.

"Thank you..." I mumbled and he smiled a little, kissing my forehead "I’m sorry… I know I was a little harsh earlier…"

"It’s okay." he mustered a little smile and then walked out the room, leaving me alone.

Looking at my suitcase, I found immediately what I was looking for and pulled my bikini out, without almost falling over because the weight of my belly was pulling me down. I knew that Charles only wanted to help me, and in situations like this now, I really appreciated it, although I didn't show it much, but it was getting a little too much, he treated me like I was made out of glass, like I needed help with everything, couldn’t do anything alone anymore. I sighed and plopped down on the bed, trying to slip on the bikini, wanting nothing more than to just relax and enjoy some alone time with Charles. After spending the last 2 weeks with our families, we now only had 5 days left to ourselves before we would return back to Monaco. It was some sort of our honeymoon and also our last little getaway where it was just us two and I wanted to make the most out of it. Or rather I wanted to try to make the most out of it. Getting up from the bed I stood in front of the mirror, trying to put the bikini in its place but it didn’t fit properly anymore. While the bottom was just fine, sitting a little more snug on my hips than usually, but still comfortable and covering everything needed, the top wasn’t fitting anymore, the fabric just wasn’t enough to cover my growing breasts entirely. I sighed, still fiddling with the cups when my eyes landed on another fine stretch mark, a new one, and I groaned. It was the third one I discovered and I hated how my skin looked, the fine white line a stark contrast to my tanned skin. Growing belly, growing breasts, stretch marks, weird cravings in the middle of the night, or at any time of the day, it all made me feel like a big monster and I hated it. It made me tear up as I was grabbing a thin tank top, pulling it over my head, before I took another look in the mirror. The tank top was too small as well, the fabric stretched to its limits on my protruding belly. I shook my head, wiping a tear, that rolled down my cheek, away and left the bedroom, joining Charles downstairs by the pool. He already waited for me, an array of different fruits, pastries, juices and lemonades on a tray on the big sun lounger.

"Didn’t you find your bikinis?" he asked when he spotted me, a soft smile on his lips and I shook my head.

"Wearing it." I quipped back and he nodded slowly.

"Umm-… okay. Are you up for a little swim? Or would you rather just relax a little, have a little snack? Maybe later go for a-…" he began.

"You can swim, I just want to relax a little." I cut him off and he nodded quietly walking towards the pool while I laid down on the sun lounger, watching him swim for a while. It was getting hotter by the minute and after a while, I decided to cool off as well. For a moment I contemplated taking off the tank top, as it was a private pool and no one would see me, but I didn’t feel comfortable enough, so I took the stairs into the pool, still wearing my tank top. I felt Charles eyes on me, but ignored him, I knew he would ask why I was wearing the tank top. But I swam past him, not giving him a chance to stop me. I looked over the edge of the pool, enjoying the sun, when I felt Charles gaze on me and I sighed.

"Why are you staring at me?" I turned a little, looking at him and he came closer, wiping a strand of hair from my face.

"Can’t I stare at my beautiful wife?" he pouted a little and I rolled my eyes "What?"

"Are you trying to woo me?" I asked and he winked at me.

"Is it working?"

"Not really." I shrugged my shoulders and he grabbed my wrist, pulling me closer.

"What can I do to make it work?" he wiggled his eyebrows and I laughed.

"You have to figure that out on your own."

"Okay… what about, we get rid of all of this fabric first?" he chuckled, playing with the hem of my tank top but I pulled away "What?"

"Nothing… I’m just-… I’m not in the mood…" I quickly turned around "I’m going outside."

"What? Why? Lizzie?" his voice laced with worry.

"Just forget it."

"Cara mia? What’s going on?" Charles asked but I shook my head, trying to swim away, but he grabbed my ankle, pulling me back "Hey, what’s going on?"

"Nothing! I’m fine, just leave m-…"

"Look at me… please. Look at me…" he whispered, gently grabbing my chin, turning my head, looking at me, seeing the tears glistening in my eyes "Hey, what’s going on pretty girl? Please tell me! I can’t help you if you don’t tell me-…"

"Stop trying to help me all the damn time!" I groaned but he shook his head.

"We can discuss about me being all over you, trying to help you with carrying your stuff, or me not wanting you to stand for too long, running around all the damn time, so I try to push you onto the nearest seating… I’m happy to discuss that, but I’m not discussing this. You’re clearly upset and I want to know why! Did I cross a line? I was just joking, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. So please tell me!"

"Because I look like a fat and ugly whale! Look at me! I’m gross! And because I’m the worst person ever! You’re so sweet and just want to help me and I’m so horrible to you! We’re not even married for 3 months and I would understand if you would run away and look for someone else and-…" I began to ramble but he pressed his lips onto mine, silencing me.

"Don’t you dare, ever call yourself a whale? Or ugly and gross? Or fat? You’re none of that, you got me?" he cupped my cheeks, looking at me intently and I looked away "Hey! I’m serious. Stop that. Don’t you ever say that again!"

"But it’s the truth… look at my belly, that’s never going away again…" I lifted the wet tank top and Charles followed my look.

"What?" he asked and I looked at him.

"Don’t act stupid…" I groaned and he pulled me closer.

"What are you even talking about?" he looked genuinely confused.

"The stretch marks! I tried everything, but for some reason they’re still coming. And it’s getting only wor-…"

"Stop it, okay? This?" he carefully traced the stretch mark on my side, not caring that I flinched away "This is beautiful. It’s just another little reminder of what you’re doing right now? Growing our gorgeous baby inside of you! Our little human. These are like scars, scars of a warrior battling their toughest battle. God cara mia you have no idea how beautiful you are! And how sexy? I want to ravage you all day long… this belly? It does things to me, you have no idea…"

"You don’t have to say tha-…" I sniffled but he grabbed me by the back of my thighs, hoisting me up, my soft belly prodding into his hard abs. Then he pushed me gently against the pool wall, my legs wrapping around his waist on instinct.

"Do you feel what you’re doing to me…" he whispered, pressing his hard bulge into my core "Do you feel how you turn me on? God Lizzie… wouldn’t you be pregnant already? You sure as hell would be in no time…"

"Charles…" I whispered and he kissed me, making me blush.

"You listen to me now, you might be a little mean, which is okay, it’s mostly my own fault with fuzzing all over you, you might be a little over emotional, which is also okay, your hormones are in shambles, but I would never, not for a millisecond would I even think about it, run away and look for someone else. You think, once I had the taste of the perfect girl for me, I would settle for anything less? Because that’s what I would have to do, settle for less… and I don’t want to. I want my wife. I need my wife. My gorgeous, beautiful and sexy wife. My queen who’s growing our little princess or prince in her beautiful belly." the look on his face made me blush, goosebumps erupting all over my skin. He cupped my cheeks again, wiping away my tears and then kissed me. The world stopped turning. Time stopped ticking away. The ocean waves now crashing silently onto the shore. He pulled away gently, looking at me again, the intensity in his look made me squirm and I felt his hardness pressing even more into my body "I hope I made myself clear…" he whispered against my lips and I nodded "Yeah?"

"Yeah…"

"Good, but I think to fully convince you, I have to show you just what you’re doing to me…"

Charles POV:

Lizzie was stubborn. Too stubborn for her own good. From the moment we returned from our holiday, having 3 more days at home before I would have to leave for Maranello, she was on a mission I didn’t know about at first. A huge package arrived and I caught her carrying it into the kitchen, dropping it onto the island, heaving.

"Are you serious? Lizzie you shouldn’t carry heavy stuff around!" I groaned and she waved me off, grabbing a knife "You want to stab me now, for trying to take care of you?"

"Don’t give me ideas…" she chuckled and then sliced the tape of the package open, putting the knife down and opening it "We need to baby proof this place." she announced, pulling all sort of boxes out of the package, even two white gates "For the stairs…"

"Cara mia isn’t that a little too early? The baby is coming in October, it won’t crawl around and explore this place until what? Half a year later at least?" I looked at her with big eyes but she shook her head.

"It’s never too early to be prepared!" she answered absently, already reading the instructions of the gates when I heard the door, Arlo strutting in, followed by Joris.

"He’s such a mama’s boy…" he grumbled and I had to laugh, Arlo already perched between Lizzie’s legs, wagging his tail happily.

"He was whining and howling all the way… everyone was looking and probably thinking I kidnapped him!"

"Dognapped…" Lizzie mumbled and I chuckled.

"Or that…" Joris sat down on the island, looking into the package, raising an eyebrow "Isn’t it a little too early to-…"

"It’s never too early to be prepared!" Lizzie snapped, gathering everything in the package and getting up, picking up the package. I got up from my seat, ready to take the box from her arms but she just glared at me "Don’t you dare!"

"Lizzie…" I groaned but she sauntered away, Arlo trailing behind her, jumping next to her on the sofa, watching what she was doing "She doesn’t let me help her…"

"I mean-…" Joris began but I followed Lizzie as well, sitting down in front of her.

"What do you say? You take a little nap, and Joris and I take care of this? We baby proof the penthouse?" I said carefully and knew immediately that it was the wrong thing to say.

"I don’t want to take a nap and do you think I can’t do this without the help of two big, strong men? I’m capable of doing it on my own! And the only reason why I leave now, is because I need to pee and because I’m mad at you… so don’t you dare touch the box!" she tried to get up, but somehow it didn’t work and I heard her frustrated huff "For fucks sake, let me get up and go to the toilet!"

"Let me help you-…" I got up but the look she shot me, made me flinch and I fell back into the cushions watching her pushing herself up, waddling away, Arlo following her again "She hates me…"

"No… she hates that you’re all ov-…" Joris began but I cut him off.

"I’m just trying to help her." I groaned, having not even listened to what Joris said.

"Hmm… but hey, I don’t think she hates you… she called you a big, strong man… me too…" he laughed and now I glared at him "Sorry."

"Only a couple of weeks to power through." I sighed, leaning back into my seat "Only a couple of weeks…"

"You think it’s getting easier, once the baby is here?" Joris laughed and I threw a pillow at him.

"Maybe not, but at least the hormonal situation is better… maybe I don’t have to be afraid to be eaten alive whenever I breathe too loud anymore… who knows…" I shrugged and Joris looked behind me, eyes wide "She’s right behind me, no?"

"I wouldn’t mind if you would stop breathing altogether right at this instance…" Lizzie sniffled and I groaned, turning around, but she already waddled away, looking way too cute for someone who just wished for my untimely death.

"Yeah… you ran right into that one." Joris commented and I threw another pillow at him "I might’ve deserved that one…"

"You think so?"

"You seemed awfully lost in there…" I said after a while and Joris began to squirm in his seat "I mean, if I want to paint a wall, then I know the colour already, no? And I know how big the wall is, that I want to paint, so I know how much paint I’d need, no?"

"Yeah, I mean… I had umm- I had a few colours in my mind, you know? And I’m not that good when it comes to measuring and… ugh stuff like that…" he stammered and I looked out of the window for a bit.

"What are we even, painting? You had a whole make over of your place just weeks ago?" I asked and looked at him.

"Oh? Umm yeah, but you know how it is… you umm- you need sometimes something new to look at! So yeah, we’re painting my, my… my living room!" he almost sounded desperate and I looked at him, hands gripping the steering wheel too tight, eyes wide in panic. And then it dawned on me.

"You don’t want to paint your living room, do you? Lizzie has set you up with this…" I said slowly and Joris gulped audibly,

"I really don’t want to paint my living room!" he said and I shook my head.

"She’s unbelievable! I just don’t want her to carry all that packages around, using tools and whatever to install all the baby proofing stuff!" I sighed leaning back against the head rest.

"Yeah, I get that… but maybe you’re a little too… ?" Joris began carefully and I groaned.

"What? A little too much? Too overprotective?"

"Yes! Charles, yesterday you wanted to help her get up from the sofa when she just wanted to pee! And you wanted to help her! Like how? Pull her pants down? Sit her down? Hold her hand? She’s pregnant! Not sick! I mean not anymore, but you know what I mean! You’re driving her crazy!"

"And why are you telling me this and not Lizzie?" I sighed, massaging my temples.

"Oh seriously? She tried to! But you’re so stubborn! You don’t listen!" Joris looked at me.

"I am stubborn? That’s rich coming from her…" I scoffed and he sighed.

"You both are freaking stubborn. But at the end of the day, she doesn’t like you being too much an all over her. Let her breathe… she’ll ask for help if needed…"

We drove the rest back home in silence, when I got a text from Lizzie, smiling a little.

"She’s hungry. I need to stop at the super market…" I said and he nodded.

"Okay, let’s get her something to eat… or rather them." he chuckled.

"She’s still in that phase where she loves cheese more than anything… cheese and crackers and fruits." I said "At least that I’m doing right."

"What do you mean?"

"Her cravings. I’m almost prepared for everything. I have all her favourite snacks always on hand. They’re stashed everywhere…"

"You run around with snack packages for Lizzie?"

"Of course, I once didn’t have anything on me… yeah no. Never again."

"Just be happy she doesn’t wake you so at 2 in the morning, asking you for a burger and fries." he parked his car on the parking lot "That would be annoying."

"Been there. Done that…"

"Oh."

"Yeah… oh…"

I stood by the door, walking back and forth, checking my phone every minute.

"You know, standing there won’t make Joris appear out of thin air…" Lizzie chuckled and I flinched "What’s so special about the helmet? You still haven’t told me!"

"You’ll see, you just wait sunshine, you just wait…" I kissed her cheek and she scrunched up her nose "Oh and also… we both know that you can’t wait for Joris to come yourself…"

"I mean… he offered to bring me some panini from Lucia so… yeah…" she slowly sat down on the sofa "Oh god my feet kill me today…"

"It’s because you walk around too much! I told you!" I rolled my eyes and sat on the coffee table, propping her feet up in my lap and massaging them "You should take it easy…"

"This place doesn’t baby proof itself, you know?"

"I told you I’ll help you! But then you send me on this stupid mission with Joris…" I groaned and she chuckled.

"Sorry… it was just too much, okay? We weren’t even here for 24 hours and you already were fuzzing all over me." she sighed.

"I know. I’m sorry. It’s just… I’m nervous, okay? This is our little one. Our baby. And I… I just want to make sure that you’re both healthy and okay…" I looked at her sheepishly and she smiled.

"I know that, Charles… it’s just… you know me, I don’t like to ask for help and I always think I can do everything by myself. I hate that it’s not like that anymore…" she shrugged her shoulders a little and I leaned towards her.

"But it’s okay to ask for help, always, and especially now." I whispered against her lips and she nodded slightly "So no more spontaneous trips with poor Joris to the hardware store?"

"No more spontaneous trips with poor Joris to the hardware store…" she giggled and I pecked her lips.

"Thank god!" Joris said behind us and I turned a little "Panini from Lucia’s for Lizzie. Special helmet delivery for Charles."

He handed Lizzie a doggy bag and sat down a helmet bag on the table next to me.

"I love you, have I ever told you that?" Lizzie mumbled, head already down in the bag, inhaling the smell of the panini "God it smells delicious…" she smiled and I chuckled.

"So… that’s it?" I looked at the helmet and Joris nodded, pushing it towards me "Did you look at it?"

"Nope, haven’t seen it yet…" he sat down next to Lizzie, who happily munched away on her panini, Arlo next to her, his head in Lizzie’s lap.

"What’s so special now with this helmet?" she asked and I smiled, taking it in my hand.

"No one knows that you’re pregnant, we were able to completely fly under the radar… so I thought… I’ll tell the world the happy news with a special helmet design…" I opened the strings of the bag and pulled out the helmet, Lizzie smiled.

The helmet was beautiful. Very clean and simple, a softer, less brighter red then usually and a big “Baby Doetterer-Leclerc. Coming soon.” across the back. Little doodles of baby bottles, pacifiers, cribs, teddy bears and rattles all across the helmet.

"That’s so cute…" she whispered, scooting closer, looking at the helmet "But don’t you think everyone will see that I’m pregnant before you get a chance to wear it?"

"You’re not coming with me to Zandvoort?" I looked at her and she pouted.

"Why? If you start now some bullshit that I shouldn’t travel and stay at home and relax and rest, I swear-…" she began but I held up my hands.

"You’re having a doctor’s appointment on Friday!" I said quickly and she stopped, her eyes widening "That’s why you asked Susie to stay at home this weekend…"

"And she was okay with it?" she whispered and I nodded "I’m sorry… I really forgot about it."

"It’s okay. You can do nothing but relaxing and resting this weekend. Not lifting a single finger…" I said hopefully and she sighed.

"We’ll see. I could finish the nursery?" a big smile spread across her face and I took her hands in mine.

"Cara mia it’s almost done, only the new crib is missing and when they deliver it, they build it together… so no. You have nothing to do. Relax. Do nothing…" I kissed her knuckles.

"We ordered a new crib? Why?" she raised an eyebrow.

"You didn’t like the old one, you didn’t feel it anymore. So we got rid of it…"

"Oh! Right! I’m so forgetful…" she sighed, leaning back in the pillows "Maybe a couple of days off are really what I need…"

"Yeah! It’s going to be just fine, you’ll see." I got up and sat down next to her "Arlo is here to take care of you, Maman and Charlotte will look after you every now and then, please cara mia, I would feel better, knowing that someone is checking in on you…"

"Hmm. Okay… but only under one condition…"

"Everything…"

"You’ll get me a ton of stroopwafels!" she smiled and I laughed.

"All the stroopwafels that I can find are yours, cara mia."

I looked at my helmet in the bag, smiling, when Andrea bumped into me.

"Come on. Put it on." he chuckled and I nodded, taking it out "It looks damn cute."

"Yeah, they did a good job." I agreed, taking my balaclava from him "I’m kinda nervous?"

"Well, everyone will ask you a ton of questions, so be prepared.” he shrugged.

"They probably will…" I put on the helmet and gave him the thumbs up before I walked out to my car.

"Ready?" Alessandro said and I nodded.

"Ready." I replied and he smiled but then took a closer look at my helmet.

"Mio dio!" he exclaimed and some heads turned "Really?" he asked and I nodded "Soon?"

"October…"

"Congratulations!" he pulled me into a tight hug and I saw my mechanics swarm me, all congratulating me.

"What’s going on here?" Fred asked, as he entered the garage together with Lewis, both looking at me.

Lewis eyes were glued to my helmet, while Fred still had no idea and I turned around. After another moment of silence, someone engulfed me from behind in a tight grip, hoisting me up a little.

"Congratulations, Charles! Wonderful news!" Fred said happily, setting me down, looking around "Where is the happy mother?"

"Oh, she’s at home, she has a doctor’s appointment today…" I said and he nodded.

"Wow! Congrats man, I’m so happy for you two!" Lewis hugged me and I smiled "Look at you, world champion, husband and now father…"

"I could retire now." I joked and Fred shook his head.

"Definitely not. You and Lewis, you’re getting that constructors title back to Maranello this year!"

"Of course we will." I chuckled and he laughed.

"That’s what I wanted to hear."

It didn’t take long after the first practice for some of the other drivers, coming around, congratulating me and Lizzie. I thanked them all and couldn’t stop smiling so I decided to call Lizzie, sighing when I only got the mailbox.

"Look at that… Daddy Leclerc…" Max said behind me and I scoffed "Yeah okay, I realise now how weird that sounded." we both laughed and he patted my back "Starting quite early with the drivers of the next generation."

"Yeah you know me, I always want to be first." I shrugged and he laughed.

"No seriously, congrats mate. You and Lizzie will be the best parents." he hugged me and I smiled.

"Damn, we really grew up." I said and he nodded.

"Looks like it, but then again, I never had any doubt about you and Lizzie, so yeah…" he shrugged his shoulders "No really man, I’m happy for you, both of you."

"Thanks Max, really."

"But don’t think I let you win now, just because a mini you will run around the paddock."

"I didn’t expect anything else from you." I waved him off and returned to the Ferrari garage, my phone full of notifications.

Everyone knew now that Lizzie and I were expecting and it was topic number one in the media pen and then later the press conference after the qualifying.

"Alright everyone, welcome to our post qualifying press conference with our top 3 man, starting from pole position, Charles Leclerc, followed by Lewis Hamilton, which means we’re having a Ferrari front row, and in P3 Max Verstappen, Red Bull. Now let’s start with you Charles, I guess there’s more than one congratulation in order today. Congrats on pole position and of course congrats on the happy news of you and Lizzie expecting your first child. How exciting!" Tom said and I picked up the microphone.

"Thanks Tom! Yeah, a lot going on at the moment. First of all I want to thank everyone for the many, many congratulations on our news. It was truly heartwarming receiving all those messages from everyone, so thank you so much! We really appreciate it. And then of course pole position here in Zandvoort. Not an easy track but we fought until the end and tomorrow we only have to make the final step and win the race. But I think with Lewis and I in the front row, we have good chances of a Ferrari win." I smiled and Lewis next to me nodded.

As soon as the press conference was open for the floor, the questions about Lizzie and our baby were raining down on me. How far along Lizzie was, boy or girl. If we want our kid to be a racing driver as well, where our kid would grow up, what languages we would speak to our baby. It was all getting a little too much and I was more than happy when Tom ended the press conference, saying that maybe they could ask their questions tomorrow again, which made me chuckle.

"Let’s hope that I’ll see you again then, tomorrow."

I was tossing around, my stomach grumbling, when I checked the time. 1:47am. I huffed, turning a little to find a comfortable sleep position but to no avail.

"What is it…" Charles sleepy voice made me flinch.

"I can’t sleep…"

"Why?" he whispered and I heard him searching for his phone.

"I’m-… I’m hungry…" I mumbled and the night stand lamp on Charles side of the bed got switched on.

I turned away immediately but Charles already cupped my cheeks, seeing how puffy they were, eyes and nose red.

"What do you want?" he asked me quietly and I bit my bottom lip "Come on, tell me. What does my pretty girl want?"

"Fries and a berry smoothie…" I whispered and he nodded.

"Okay, I’ll try to be as fast as possible…" he got up and kissed my cheek "Don’t run away!"

"Very funny." I chuckled and watched him dress up.

"I’ll be back soon." he smiled and left the hotel room and I sat up, switching on the tv, the baby in my belly, dancing around.

"You’re annoying at times… you know that?" I stroked my belly, getting zero reaction "Now that you know we’re getting food, you stop squirming around…" I chuckled a little, sitting up against the headboard, leaning back.

The squirming really stopped, replaced by only a kick here and there. I checked the time, excitedly waiting for Charles and when finally the door open and closed I let out a little squeak.

"Was that because of me, or because of the food." he chuckled and sat down the bag full of fries and the smoothie on the table, slipping out of his shoes and clothes.

"Umm… both?" I said sheepishly and he laughed.

"That didn’t sound convincing at all…" he grabbed the fries and smoothie and set them down next to me on my night stand "But it’s okay…" he kissed my head and I smiled.

"Where did you get it from?" I asked, already munching away on one fry.

"There is this little diner thingy just around the corner." he climbed back into the bed next to me and I offered him a fry, but he shook his head "Do you need anything else? No?"

"Nope. Now we’re happy. You can go back to sleep, we’ll eat and then sleep as well." I smiled at him and he nodded.

"Sounds like a good plan…" his eyes were already closed "Good night cara mia. Little one." he whispered and I leaned over him, kissing his cheek.

"Good night Charlie bear, already best daddy in the world."

"Good morning my pretty girl." Charles whispered and I turned a little.

"Hey…" I whispered back, getting up slowly "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah. I didn’t want to wake you up earlier. You didn’t sleep that well last night? And the night before…"

"Someone was squirming around a little too much for my liking…" I gently cradled my belly "Ouch… can you at least please wait for me to have a little something to eat? Then you can kick me as much as you want." I mumbled as yet another kick made me flinch.

"Hey little one. It’s your daddy. Listen to me you little bean. Mummy needs a little break, okay? Let her have something to eat, maybe a little nap, how does that sound?" Charles kneeled down in front of the bed, his hands on either side of my protruding belly, gently whispering to our little one "And stop the kicking! Your mum is no punching back!"

I smiled down at Charles, his eyes shining, a big smile on his lips when he pushed my shirt, or rather his shirt, up and kissed my belly.

"Thank you." I carded my hands through his hair and he looked up "And now you need to go. You have a race to win."

"If you don’t feel like it, you stay here, okay? You don’t have to come to the track!" he kissed me, his soft lips on mine "I’m serious cara mia."

"We’ll see, okay? I’ll rest for a little while and then I’ll decide."

"Okay. If you need anything, call me, okay? I love you. Both of you." he kissed me again and then got up, grabbing his keys and phone "I texted Charlotte to look after you, don’t give me that look…"

"I’m fine! Really!" I said and he nodded.

"Just in case." he sat down a tray of food next to me on the bed, then kissed my head "I love you, cara mia." he waved one last time and then left.

I leaned back against the headboard, pushing a pillow behind me, making myself comfortable.

"Okay little one. What’s going on…" I whispered, stroking my belly, a sharp pain at my lower back "I know you don’t like sleeping in other beds… me neither but we’re here for you dad. Come on…"

Another angry kick made me hiss in pain and I shook my head, our little one wasn’t in the mood for talking as it seemed and I grabbed the bowl with some fresh fruits and yoghurt. Maybe a little food would sooth her. But it didn’t really help, and when my phone rang and Charlotte asked me how I’ve been and if I wanted to go to the track or rather stay in the hotel, I had to put all my effort into sounding happy and exited for the race, although I rather would’ve stayed in bed.

"Are you sure you’re okay? You look a little pale?" Charlotte whispered, handing me a bottle of water and I nodded.

"Yeah… the little one is a little grumpy today, but that’s it…" I forced a smile, sitting down in the garage right when Charles walked in and I wanted to get up again.

"Stay." he gently pushed me back in the chair and I smiled thankfully "Are you sure you’re okay? You’re a little pale, cara mia?" he cupped my cheek and I sighed.

"I just said the same!" Charlotte patted my back.

"If you don’t feel good, maybe you want to lay down for a bit in my room?" Charles suggested but I shook my head "You sure?"

"Charles, I’m fine. And honestly thinking about walking all the way back now is even worse than the little one being a little annoying."

"Okay… but-… if something feels wrong you tell Charlotte, okay? If it’s getting too much?" he whispered and I nodded "Good-…"

"Charles…" Alessandro looked at us "The national anthem starts any minute…"

"I’m coming." Charles said without looking away from me "Take care, cara mia."

"Let’s go and win the race." I whispered and pecked his lips.

"I’ll try my best. But with my two lucky charms here…" he chuckled softly, stroking the side of my belly.

"Go now!" I gently pushed him off and he sighed, turning away, following Alessandro.

I took the bottle and opened it, but before I could take a sip, another kick made me hiss in pain.

"The little one is really not nice to you today." Charlotte stroked my back and I took a deep breath "What can I do? Are you hungry? Do you want a tea?"

"I could do with a shot…" I joked and she chuckled "It’s okay… it will get better soon. The baby feels that I’m a little anxious because of the race probably…"

"Okay… but Lizzie? Let me know if anything feels wrong or you need anything, okay? I know you don’t want to be a burden, but you’re not, okay?" she held my hand and squeezed it a little and I smiled.

"I will tell you, I promise."

"Alright." she sat down next to me, giving Lorenzo a subtle thumbs up and I had to chuckle.

I knew that everyone around me would keep an eye on me and had to smile. Right when baby Leclerc was kicking again, this time a little stronger than before and I gasped. Charlotte looking at me, I waved her off, smiling and cradling my belly, leaning down a little.

"Stop it now, okay? Why are you so grumpy today?" I whispered and had to laugh "I know I won’t get an answer, but it’s still helping me to stay sane." I looked at Charlotte and she chuckled.

"At least you’re trying to reason with the little one."

"Yeah… but today it’s not working for some reason…" I sighed, watching the race start, Charles defending his pole from Max like a lion. 2 laps later Max had to fight off the attacks from Lewis, giving Charles the opportunity to increase the distance between them.

"He’s flying today!" Lorenzo sat down next to Charlotte, smiling at us.

"He really is." I nodded, feeling a slight pressure in my stomach "I have to go for a moment, excuse me." I got up from the chair, grabbing my bag when Charlotte gently grabbed my arm.

"Do you want me to come with you? Just in case?" she asked and I smiled, shaking my head.

"It’s fine, I’m just outside the garage, not far, and I have my phone with me…"

"Okay… call me if you need me, okay?"

"Of course." one last smile and I walked outside, feeling the eyes of half of the Ferrari garage on me. In the paddock I walked slowly towards the restrooms, grateful that they weren’t far away. On my way back I saw the Audi garage and decided to say a quick hello, bumping straight into Julie, who just left the garage.

"Lizzie! Oh my god it’s so great to see you again! How are you! How’s the baby?" she screeched and I smiled, cradling my bump "You look gorgeous! You’re glowing…"

"Thanks Julie, I’m good, the baby is fine, a little grumpy today but apart from that…" I began, hissing in pain again, putting a hand against the wall, taking a deep breath.

"Oh darling, someone is really grumpy? Come on in, have a seat!" she steadied me a little, walking inside and when the cold air from the ac hit me, I realised how hot it was outside "Here, sit down and I get you something to…"

"Drink." JK handed me a bottle of sparkling water, smiling at me "How are you Liz?" he kneeled in front of me and I smiled "Pregnancy looks good on you."

"Thanks JK. I feel like a bloated whale, but yeah. Never mind." I laughed and he shook his head "How’s it going here? The season started out great! P4 in the constructors…"

"It’s been going great. You’re greatly missed, of course, but Mick is a good mate. Good dude." JK said and I nodded "Thanks for introducing me to him."

"Are you joking? If Charles wouldn’t have Andrea, you would be his new performance coach!"

"Like this is also more than fine…" he laughed.

"It is, and I’m so happy for Mick that he finally can show his full potential. With a competent team and a team principal who really believes in him and supports him…"

"Mick is amazing. Everyone loves him." Julia said and I couldn’t stop smiling.

Leaving the team behind hurt, immensely. But knowing that my departure meant for Mick to have another chance in Formula 1. A chance he was giving everything for, resulting in already 3 podiums and a lot of points finishes.

"I’m really happy that everything works out this amazing for the team." I pushed myself up a little, feeling a throbbing in my back.

"Oh, you look like you’re in pain?" Julie said and I sighed.

"Like I said, the baby is a little grumpy today…" I tried to reassure her but at the same time I wasn’t so sure myself anymore the pain was stronger than ever before and it felt like the baby was doing summersaults in my belly "Maybe I should go back to the hotel and…"

"Oh no, wait…" JK was there right in time to keep me upright, when another searing pain shot through my back and belly "How far along are you exactly?"

"Why?" I looked at him "Oh no no no! No! It’s way too early."

"Lizzie I’ve watched you the past minutes and it looks like you’re having contractions… every 3-5 minutes…" he said and I shook my head.

"No, JK, it’s too early! Almost a month too early! It’s not… it can’t be…" I mumbled but he gently pushed me down on a box.

"Lizzie, you should go to the hospital. Seriously."

"It’s just these test contractions! Braxton Hicks! It’s fine. I’m fine…" I felt tears stinging in my eyes "I can’t… it’s… Charles is not here. He’s racing! I can’t go without him and it’s also too fucking early!" I cried as another seemingly contraction wrecked my body "No, please not like this…"

"It’s going to be fine, okay? You’re here with Charlotte, Lorenzo and Arthur right? I go and get them, you stay here, we get a car here… and then we’ll get you to the hospital in no time." JK got up and nodded at Julie, who rubbed soothing circles on my back and I tried to steady my breathing.

"This can’t be… no one is here! Not my parents, Pascale…" I sniffled.

"I call them, give me your phone and I call them right away, okay? You just need to keep breathing and try to calm down…"

I nodded and handed her my bag, leaning against the wall, thankful for the little shade the stack of spare parts and old tyres was providing. I closed my eyes, rubbing my bump, feeling how the baby began to squirm around, almost as if she was wiggling herself in the right position.

"It’s okay baby girl. It’s fine… how funny it would be if you’d be a baby boy instead…" I chuckled a little, thinking about how sure I was that I was having a girl, just because of a feeling "No matter what you are, I just need you to be healthy. The rest I don’t care, you’ll be gorgeous no matter what…"

"Lizzie!" Lorenzo, Charlotte and Arthur walked around the corner, JK behind them, waving at someone, while on the phone.

"Are you okay?" Charlotte took my hand in hers, kneeling in front of me and I nodded.

"The baby… it’s coming… it’s way too early…" I whispered but she smiled.

"It’s going to be okay, you hear me? Nowadays baby’s are born way earlier than the eight month and they’re just fine. Let’s get you to the hospital and let them take care of you two, how does that sound?"

"Charles-…" I began but hissed in pain.

"I stay here. As soon as he’s out of the car I’ll tell him what’s going on, okay?" Lorenzo reassured me but I shook my head.

"He’s winning. Let him have his moment, the podium. It’s Monza after all…" I said and Lorenzo nodded slightly.

"Okay…" he smiled "You go to the hotel, getting her hospital bag…" he turned to Arthur who nodded, kissing my head

"I meet you at the hospital." he smiled, taking my key card and running off.

"I called your parents and Pascale, they all our getting in the next plane to come here…" Julie stuffed my phone back into my bag and handed it to Charlotte "If you need anything, call, okay?" she kissed my cheek when JK and Lorenzo helped me up and I nodded "Now go and get the most beautiful baby the world has ever seen."

"Thanks Julie…" I smiled and she nodded, squeezing my hand one last time.

"Let’s get you into the car and then straight to the hospital." JK smiled, nodding at the driver who opened the car "It’s going to be fine, okay?"

I only nodded, getting in the van, grabbing Charlotte’s hand who put her arm around my shoulder, holding me close.

"He’s right. It’s all going to be okay, you’ll see. Your parents and Pascale are on their way, Charles only has 35 laps ahead of him and then he’ll be by your side again… and until then, feel free to crush my hands." she kissed my temple and I snorted a little.

"I can’t break your hands! You’re a doctor, you need them…"

"You’re not wrong there…" she chuckled and I looked outside the window, another contraction making me flinch.

I was having our baby. In the next hours our little bundle of joy would be here. I couldn’t wait to meet our baby, couldn’t wait to hold it in my arms, never letting it go. But thinking about the birth made me anxious. Nervous. And I was scared. My mind was racing and I didn’t even realise that we arrived at the hospital, a nurse with a wheelchair already waiting for us.

"Hi Lizzie, I’m Maria, let’s get you inside." she smiled and I nodded, sitting in the wheelchair and letting her roll me inside, Charlotte next to me "Here. I need you to fill in these documents." she took a clipboard from the counter, handing it to Charlotte, while pushing the button for the elevator "We prepared one of our birthing suites for you."

"Thanks." I mustered a smile as another contraction made me gasp.

"Oh someone really wants to be born." she chuckled "Don’t worry. Dr. Moreno is already informed and will be here any minute."

I only nodded and when we arrived in my room, I got out of the wheelchair sitting down on the chair by the window.

"Do you need anything for now? I’ll go and get you something to drink, maybe some ice?"

I nodded again and Charlotte thanked the nurse who closed the door behind her, she then took out her phone smiling a little.

"Arthur will be here any minute. You can get then into something more comfy… or maybe you’ll just wear the hospital gown? Whatever you want-…" she began and then looked at her phone as another notification came through "Oh…"

"Oh? Oh what? What happened?" I looked at her with big eyes.

"There’s a red flag. Charles is fine. Sainz and Russell clashed and Sainz ended up in the wall… sorry! I should’ve started with that!"

"Will it take long?"

"Enzo said the race will be resumed in around 25 minutes… Charles will get out of the car… and he’ll ask for you-…"

"Tell Enzo to say that we went back to the hospitality. I was a little exhausted. I’m sleeping, he doesn’t have to worry." I said quickly and she bit her lower lip "Charlotte you know him… if Enzo tells him that I’m here he won’t continue the race! He will leave! Just a little white lie…"

"I don’t know Lizzie… what if-…" she stopped and I sighed.

"If something happens? Well, then let’s hope that my baby and I are as tough as we seem…" I said and she groaned.

"Okay… I don’t like this… not at all… but-… you’re right…" she texted Lorenzo and a moment later her phone was buzzing "He’s calling me…"

"Give me the phone…" I held out my hand and she dropped her phone in it, right when Arthur knocked and walked in "Hi, it’s me… I know, Lorenzo, but I don’t want him to drop out of the race. Don’t tell him now. I’m fine. I’m at the hospital, the doctor will be here any minute. It’s going to be fine."

"Are you sure, Lizzie?" Lorenzo sounded worried.

"I am sure. It’s fine. Tell him after the race… I try to keep the baby inside as long as I can…" I joked and he chuckled nervously.

"Okay… take care and I want to be updated every couple of minutes!"

"We will, don’t worry. Now make sure your brother doesn’t do anything stupid!"

"Easier said than done." he hung up and I handed Charlotte the phone.

"You don’t want him to know?" Arthur asked and I nodded "Maybe better like this, you’re right." he sat down my bag on the chair next to the bed when the doors opened, Maria and a middle aged man walking in.

"Hi Lizzie, I’m Dr. Moreno, and I heard we’re having a baby today?" his voice

warm and calming.

"Maybe…" I replied and he smiled.

"I’d say let’s have a look, shall we?"

Charles POV:

Something in the way how Lorenzo told me that Lizzie was back in the hospitality with Charlotte, sleeping because she was exhausted, didn’t sit right with me, and I looked at him intently. He seemed nervous, checking his phone every couple of minutes and right before I had to go back into my car I pulled him aside.

"What’s going on, Enzo. And don’t bullshit me. You’re nervous. Something is happening-…" I began but he shook his head and I groaned "Then why are you checking your phone every couple of minutes? Why are you so nervous?"

"I’m checking my phone because Charlotte is giving me updates on Lizzie. And I’m nervous because it’s Lizzie! Of course I’m worried as well, she was pale and exhausted and it- it took some convincing to get her to lay down and rest…" he reassured me and I looked at him for a moment wegen Alessandro called my name.

"I’m coming…" I mumbled, still looking at Lorenzo, I still wasn’t convinced but when Alessandro called me again, I shook my head, walking back to my car. 25 laps to go. I just had to focus for 25 more laps and then I could go and see Lizzie. The race re-start was almost perfect. Lewis slowing down Max, allowing me to extend the lead again and when 25 laps later the checkered flag was being waved, it was another Ferrari 1-2 this season.

"Wooohooo! Amazing job everyone! Lewis was amazing! He defended from Max like a lion! Awesome race!" I radioed.

"Yeah… amazing race today! Another P1–P2 for us." Bryan didn’t sound as euphoric as usual and I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong.

I parked the car, jumping out and waited for Lewis to get out of his car, then congratulated him before we both ran to our team, they were all smiling and cheering, although I felt that something was off. It was the look on Andreas face, that made me pull off my helmet and balaclava.

"Where’s Lizzie?" the first thing I asked and he wanted to reply when someone shoved a microphone into my hand "Andrea, what’s going on?" I ignored the F1 official and waited for Andrea’s answer, but I got pulled towards the interview, still staring at Andrea who then nodded to his left and I spotted Enzo at the corner, phone at his ear, looking at me, eyes wide. "Enzo, what’s going on?" I shouted at him and he held up his hand for a moment, I ignored the F1 official, trying to pull me towards the interview spot "Enzo!"

He looked at me, a big smile on his face, giving me the thumbs up and I was confused. He hung up and then mouthed something to me, and I was shellshocked.

"Charles, congrats on your win-…" David Coulthard began but I didn’t listen anymore, shoving him my microphone in his hands "Charles are you-…"

"I���m sorry, I have to go…" I said turning to walk away.

"What? You- you just won- you can’t go?" Coulthard stuttered and I turned around, grabbing the microphone.

"Lizzie just gave birth to our baby, that’s the only thing that matters to me right now." I said and the crowd began to cheer when I ran off towards Enzo "What happened? When- how? What?" I began but Enzo only shook his head.

"There’s a car waiting, we have your clothes and everything, I’ll explain everything on the way to the hospital, okay?" he led me through the garage where everyone was clapping my back, congratulating me. I didn’t know for what, my race win or the birth of our baby.

"Are they okay? Lizzie and the baby?" I asked and he nodded.

"Both more than okay. Just minutes ago the little one was born- and before you ask, I don’t know if it’s a boy or a girl, Charlotte didn’t tell me. Mum is already on the plane here, just as Marina and Juergen, they’ll be here soon." he stopped in front of a black van, parked in the middle of the paddock "Get in. I want to meet my niece or nephew!" he almost pushed me inside and I sat down, grabbing my backpack.

My mind was racing. Our baby was born. Our little one. The fact that I wasn’t there to hold Lizzie’s hand hurt a lot, but just thinking about our little bundle of joy. A mini version of Lizzie or me. Our baby. It erased any negative feeling. Lizzie and I were parents now. Lizzie had our beautiful baby. I felt like I was floating, a big smile on my face.

"Here, we’ve got your clothes in the bag." Enzo pulled jeans and a shirt out of my bag and I began to undress.

"The red flag…" I began but he held up his hands.

"Lizzie wanted me to tell you that everything is fine, she didn’t want you to drop everything and leave…"

"So she had our baby alone?"

"Charlotte and Arthur were there."

"Okay…" I sighed, pulling up the jeans, slipping into my shoes "At least she wasn’t alone."

"You really think we would’ve let her go alone?"

"Hmm…" I leaned back in the seat, fingers nervously tapping away on my thigh, watching Enzo stuffing my race suit, fireproofs and boots into my backpack.

"Charles?" Enzo patted my arm and I looked at him "You were racing. You couldn’t change it. Lizzie knows that’s, that’s why she didn’t want me to tell you. But you’re here now, right?"

"Yeah…" I mumbled and he squeezed my arm.

"I’m serious. You’re here now. Let’s go and see your beautiful baby."

I looked up, the car stopped outside the hospital and I opened the door, almost jumping out.

We followed the nurse upstairs, and with every step that I took, my heart was beating out of my chest.

"Here we are, Mr. Leclerc, your wife and baby are in here. Please wash your hands thoroughly before you take the new born." the nurse, Maria told us and knocked twice gently on the door, opening it.

There she was. Lizzie. As beautiful as ever. No. Even more beautiful. Hair a little messy. Pale. Exhausted. But the biggest smile on her face, cradling a little bundle to her chest. She looked up and when she saw me, a tear escaped her eye and I was next to her in an instant.

"Hi my pretty girl." I whispered, kissing her temple.

"Charlie… look…" she said, her voice hoarse "Look at our baby…" she turned the little one a little in her arms and I looked down, tears streaming down my face "That’s our little baby girl." I looked up at Lizzie’s face again and she smiled.

"Our baby girl?" I repeated quietly, and Lizzie nodded "Our beautiful baby girl." I looked back down into the angelic face of our daughter "I’m so proud of you, cara mia. You did so amazing." I whispered against her head when I pulled her carefully closer.

"She’s so perfect." Lizzie said and I nodded, still feeling tears streaming down my face.

"Wait-…" I pulled away and went to the sink, washing my hands thoroughly, before I stepped back, looking down at Lizzie and our beautiful girl.

"Here…" Lizzie carefully handed me our bundle of joy and I cooed at her, her tiny nose scrunching up the same way Lizzie’s did.

"She’s so beautiful. Just like her mum." I whispered, sitting down in the chair next to Lizzie’s bed. I looked up again, Lizzie’s eyes on us, glassy "How are you, pretty girl?"

"I’m okay… little tired? Exhausted? I honestly didn’t think it would go this fast? But here she is…"

"Here she is… you both." I cradled our baby girl closer to my chest, grabbing Lizzie’s hand, kissing her knuckles "I love you soo much, you both."

"I love you too." she replied, stifling a yawn.

"Mum, Dad? Do we have a name for the gorgeous, little princess?" Maria walked in, a clipboard in her hand.

I looked at Lizzie and she nodded, a big smile on her face.

"Emmie." we both said in unison and Maria smiled.

"What a pretty name. Emmie Leclerc?"

"Emmie Doetterer-Leclerc." I said and she nodded.

"Actually Emmie Juliette Doetterer-Leclerc." Lizzie corrected and I looked at her with wide eyes.

"Juliette?" I whispered and she nodded.

"That’s… that’s for…" I choked and she cupped my cheek, nodding.

"That’s for Jules."

"Oh cara mia." I got up, careful not to wake up our little princess and kissed Lizzie "Thank you. For gifting me with our beautiful girl and naming her after… Jules… I love you…" I pecked her lips again and she smiled.

"He’s always with us." she put her forehead against mine and took a deep breath.

"He really is." I sat back down, my eyes flitting between Lizzie and Emmie "Cara mia, you can sleep now. You look exhausted…" I said and she nodded "I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere. Never again…"

"If you could stay for an hour, or so, that would be great. Just a little power nap." Lizzie yawned and I draw circles on the back of her hand.

"Sleep for as long as you need to. I’ve got you… both of you…" I smiled and Lizzie nodded, but before she could reply she was gone.

"Just you and me now." I whispered and Maria walked in.

"Hi, you can put her in here as long as she sleeps…" she pushed a little bassinet next to Lizzie’s bed "I need you to sign 2 or 3 documents. I know, annoying, but better now, as long as they both are asleep."

I nodded and got up, carefully setting Emmie down in the bassinet. Before I followed her outside I took a picture of Emmie and then stepped out of the room, quietly closing the door. Charlotte, Lorenzo and Arthur waiting for me. All three hugging me one after the other.

"So? How’s she?" Enzo asked and I smiled, showing him the picture "She’s beautiful…"

"Just like her mum." Charlotte said and I nodded.

"Like her mum indeed."

"What’s her name? Lizzie didn’t tell us…" Arthur said and I smiled.

"Her name is Emmie Juliette Doetterer-Leclerc."

"Juliette…" Enzo whispered and I nodded.

"Juliette… Lizzie wanted it…"

"Beautiful name, for a beautiful baby."

Half an hour later, I sat next to Lizzie, watching her and Emmie, both sleeping away, my heart full of love, excitement, pride. I heard Emmie chortle and got up, looking at her in the bassinet.

"Hi, my little Principessa." I whispered and gently picked her up as she began to stir "It’s ok. I’m here my pretty baby girl." Emmie’s big eyes opened and she yawned before she looked up at me and my heart melted. In this exact moment I knew that I would give my everything to protect her. Her and Lizzie, my two beautiful girls. I walked through the hospital room and held her close to my body, while her mum slept. The last hours must have exhausted her "You and your mum are the best thing that ever happened to me. I thought meeting your mum, loving her, marrying her, all that was as good as it gets, but now you’re here, tesoro mio. I will try to be the best dad for you. Just like your granddad Juergen, he raised your mum and she is the best person there is. And like my dad! Because he was an amazing dad and I just want to be as good as they were, for you! I will do everything to protect you, your heart and your soul! God Emmie, I will spoil you rotten… I want you to be as kind, fearless, brave and bold like your mum. And I will help you achieve anything you want! I don’t care if you want to be a racing driver like us, or a doctor, a nurse, an actress, a teacher… it doesn’t matter! Your mum and I will support you no matter what!" she kept looking at me with her blue eyes and I couldn’t help the tears running down my cheeks. For the first time ever in my life I felt like the words I was saying weren’t enough. Weren’t showing enough how much this tiny human being and her mum meant to me. But I also knew that I would spent my whole life to find the right words. With no doubt.

"You and your mum and me against the world, Emmie. Always."

Chapter 51 - Welcome to earth, baby Emmie ♥️ you have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to FINALLY use the #charles leclerc as dad hashtag 🥹🥰🙈 also, I was never pregnant, so the way I portrayed Lizzie was based on the pregnant ladies in my family etc. and how I imagined Lizzie to be when pregnant 🙈

Please leave a comment/ like/ reblog/ message and tell me how you liked it! I'm dying to hear your thoughts!

If you want to be added to the taglist, drop a comment!

Last but not least, English is not my first language and although I tried my best: please excuse any mistakes I made!

Taglist:

@silkenthusiasts @eugene-emt-roe @sunny44 @itsjustkhaos @glitterquadricorn @aundercover @kakorrhaphiphobia @alittlebitofbooksandmagic @ru-kru @shimmermotorsport @janeh22 @kahhorri @18754389 @chiliwhore @hellowgoodbye @queensassybitchsworld @harrysdimple05 @skynel09 @fangirlforever2000

All the images I’m using are from Google, Pinterest and Instagram (or self made).

[takeurexam]

dynasty || masterlist

teaser

genre:

non idol au, time travel, romance, rivals to allies to friends to lovers, crown prince to emperor taehyun, reader gets appointed as an concubine, inspired by korean history

pairings:

taehyun x reader

(warning, this does not reflect the REAL idols personality, and no smut will be written to respect the idol, and i am not comfortable as well, the taehyun in this ff is not the actual taehyun)

summary:

in which you, an excellent law student about to graduate collage suddenly get dragged into the past, meeting the famous-fawned over emperor of the kang's dynansty. but you getting dragged into this mess was beyond a mystery, and it seems like you have something deep to discover. meddling with the past is a risky decision after all.

inspired by korean history and mr. queen so yes, i'll be using korean outfits and the palace will be inspired as well.

❅❆❇❈❉❊❅❆❇❈❉❊❅❆❇❈❉❊❅❆❇❈❉❊❅❆❇❈❉❊

chapters:

[teaser]

1:

𝑻𝒘𝒊𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒇 𝑬𝒗𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒔

Your life seems to be going well, good grades, graduation, friends, life was going so well. Two days before your graduation, you find yourself in a whirlpool to another era, in where the Kang's lead the country, The Kang Dynasty. Confusion washes you over as you explore and adjust to the world, finding ways to get back home.

2:

𝑴𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒊𝒏

After meeting other people and realizing the situation you're in, you decide to explore around the area, because why.. not? You might find info about where the hell you are and how to get back to where things were.

3:

𝑬𝒏𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓

You didnt expect to meet a royal too soon, and you share moments with him, which you either hate or cherish.

4:

𝑩𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓

After leading the Crown Prince, Kang Taehyun, back to his royal camp, you are met with a new bother in life; the crown prince himself. Staying for a while to offer help to the royal camp struggling with a certain problem, your talents are shown and appreciated which drags you to a mess with the ladies in the palace and town.

5:

𝑵𝒖𝒊𝒔𝒂𝒏𝒄𝒆

You are dragged into a scandal, which gives off a hint of what is your current purpose in this world. Kang Taehyun is still a nuisance but sometimes you feel bad for him.

6:

𝑰𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒏𝒕

You are reunited with Hobak and Odi, and a new adventure comes up. You set for a new town, and the palace has obvious corruption spread on the whole town.

7:

𝑺𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅

Settling your goals and your destiny in the current dynasty you're in, something meddles in between your planning. Something good. You also meet Soobin's family with shocking histories. General Beomgyu offers you a deal that maybe can get you rich. (just like you wanted)

8.

𝑷𝒆𝒄𝒖𝒍𝒊𝒂𝒓

You settle in for a while, taking your time to adjust to your new future and life style. Definetely weird, but a new experiance for you.

9.

𝑬𝒙𝒂𝒎𝒔?!

Meeting the high-ranked officials, you all get a test whether you are good for the future emperor or not. A test where in you go through different stages of betrayal and backstabbing. How amazing.

10.

𝐇𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐒𝐞𝐞𝐤

You couldn't hide from the Crown Prince forever, and you suffer because of it. One exam remains, the ones determining whether you pass or not. The Palace may be bad, but it was suprisingly tolerable. Although, it feels as if the palace is hiding something within the pillars.

11.

𝑨𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒊𝒑𝒂𝒕𝒆

You discover a secret hidden within the palace walls that no one dares to spill. The Cheol Family has dirty work spilled all over, that no one wishes to clean up. Kang Taehyun finally meets you after a while, after your round of hide and seek. Your last exam comes up, as you anticipate with an ounce of hope that you pass.

12.

𝑳𝒂𝒔𝒕

Entering the royal court for the last test, you cant help but be nervous. How well you do is what lies ahead in the future.

13.

𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒊𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 (𝑶𝒓 𝒏𝒐𝒕?)

A feast is hosted for your new achievement. But after achieving the "Imperial Concubine" title, things start to get busy for you. Coming from the position of being almost useless to one of the most crucial roles in the palace, you cant help but complain. Complaining is in your nature anyway. But your complains give a whole different outcome from what you wanted. (You're both okay and not okay with it.)

more chapters to come!

updates every 1-4 weeks, depending on my schedule