#also. another starter half written in my drafts for months. we're really partying tonight

[doomdays]

@lingeringscars, "everyone expects me to have it all together, but i just don’t."

her eyes look past spencer, like she's searching for something or someone, because it's been impossible to focus on anything since she escaped minos' game. returning to university was something she felt like she needed to do in order to have some kind of grasp on her life, but most of the time, she barely feels like she's really here at all. her fingers fidget with her pen before spencer's words click, and her eyes look back to her, paranoia starting to wash away ( but never entirely. )

❝  sometimes when people don't expect you to have it all together, it just feels worse, ❞ she says honestly. she knows everyone looks at her like she's crazy; she can't tell the truth about her experiences because there's no proof, not yet, not until she finds it. even before the games, people treated her like she was fragile — and maybe they were right, because she hadn't felt strong ever since before the plane crash, before she lost everyone in sight except for herself, but she never really got her back, either. ❝  i think it's okay if you don't. ❞ maybe it's okay if she doesn't, either. but as unraveled as she's become, she refuses to believe she's not right. ❝  i don't think it matters what other people think, as long as you know how you feel. that matters. ❞