#also this is not aimed at you op but i have to laugh at how the silm fandom is constantly defending male characters who commit all sorts

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

absolutely agreed that thingol is what anchors melian to the physical plane and that's the reason she left doriath after his death. i'd go as far as to say the phrasing in the text supports that the withdrawal of her power is not a conscious choice on her part but rather a consequence of the loss of thingol, her oldest and most fundamental connection to the land.

"For Melian was of the divine race of the Valar, and she was a Maia of great power and wisdom; but for love of Elwë Singollo she took upon herself the form of the Elder Children of Ilúvatar, and in that union she became bound by the chain and trammels of the flesh of Arda. In that form she bore to him Lúthien Tinúviel; and in that form she gained a power over the substance of Arda, and by the Girdle of Melian was Doriath defended through long ages from the evils without. But now Thingol lay dead, and his spirit had passed to the halls of Mandos; and with his death a change came also upon Melian. Thus it came to pass that her power was withdrawn in that time from the forests of Neldoreth and Region, and Esgalduin the enchanted river spoke with a different voice, and Doriath lay open to its enemies."

i think an important point to make here -- and something that's often left out in the discussion of "omg why did melian abandon doriath???" -- is that while ainur certainly have a more fluid relationship with physical forms than incarnates do, they are ultimately bound by flesh and matter if they commit to a certain extent, and melian does make that commitment by marrying thingol and imbibing him with her divinity. the text explicitly says that it is through that union, and later through giving birth to luthien, that she gains greater dominion, so to speak, over the matter of arda. this dominion is how she is able to create and maintain the girdle, something with such an obvious tangible presence in beleriand. (tangent, but i'd even argue that this is a big part of the reason why the girdle is able to protect doriath from morgoth despite morgoth obviously having more raw power than melian: he isn't bound to thingol and luthien, and thingol and luthien's people and land they live on, anywhere near as meaningfully as melian is. morgoth is more powerful than melian, but in that particular area, her hold is unparalleled, and while thingol and luthien are alive, neither he nor anybody can overtake it.)

but when thingol dies, there goes the bedrock upon which melian's power over arda's matter lies. she loses her hold over doriath, over the part of beleriand that she and thingol built together, and she's no longer able to exert the influence necessary to maintain the girdle. someone put it this way and i think it really lays it out in concise terms: thingol is melian's one ring. she pours her spirit and power into him, to bolster him and his people and later the land that he rules, and as a trade-off she obtains influence over the part of arda's matter most closely linked to him. with thingol's death, the spirit and power she gave him is lost, and her connection to that matter is severed. sauron is reduced to a harmless spirit after the ring's destruction; i think melian suffers a similar diminishment (though maybe not quite with the same finality) when thingol dies. consequently, her power withdraws, and the girdle goes down.

oh and this is also not taking into account the horrible grief melian must be going through at this point: her daughter is poised to leave the world altogether and go somewhere even melian knows nothing about. ainur cannot die; loss on that level, loss that final, is something that's nearly antithetical to their nature. melian is already under that unbearable strain, and i imagine she must have been holding it together for the sake of her husband and his people. but when thingol dies too? that's the last straw

Thingol/Melian OTP answer, part 2

So here is more of my long rambling answer on my thoughts about Thingol and Melian (PART ONE, PART THREE).

Where my thoughts are still not that deep or insightful to me, but as I actually care about these two and wanted to read about them, compared to say 90% of what the Noldor in Aman were doing, I wrote a few more pages.

Including an interlude where I indulge in a bit of stream-of-conscious Silm fic.

Go, Go, Girdle!

  Keep reading

[uniquexusposts]

Her || Charles

Main characters: Charles Leclerc x OC Genre: fanfiction, fluff  Story type: novel  Part: 26/? Word count: 4989 Co writer: @mistrose23

Story summary: Matilde Jørgensen, the new Scuderia Ferrari team principal, faced the nerve-wracking challenge of reviving the team's fortunes and aiming for a championship. Leading a historic team as a 'newbie' and separating her work and personal opinions posed a significant challenge. The big question: is she capable to do so?

Previous chapter

Chapter 24. Her Driver, His Boss

“Het is regenachtig, koud en wat ben ik toch trots op jullie dat jullie het zo uithouden in de stromende regen, dames, heren, jongens en meisjes. Maar het is eindelijk tijd om een praatje te maken met Max zijn teambaas Christian. Matilde, de teambaas van Ferrari, is er ook bij! Zoals vele van jullie weten heeft Matilde ook voor Red Bull gewerkt en is zij mede verantwoordelijk voor Max zijn eerste wereldtitel. Hebben we toch nog een oranje interview. Mag ik een ontzettend warm applaus voor Christian Horner en Matilde Jørgensen!” the interviewer announced. (TRANSLATION: It's rainy, cold and I'm so proud of you being here in the pouring rain. But it's finally time to have a chat with Max's team boss Christian. Matilde, Ferrari's team boss, is also here! As many know, Matilde also worked for Red Bull and is partly responsible for Max's first world title. We still have some kind of an orange interview. May I give a very warm round of applause to Christian Horner and Matilde Jørgensen!)

Cheers filled the Dutch race track and two people entered the arena stage and they looked around; they were both standing under umbrellas. Christian waved around and Matilde could only look her eyes out.

"Welcome, both of you," the man said. "Thank you for joining us."

"Absolutely, always," Christian replied and gave the man a nod.

Matilde smiled. "Thank you for having us," she responded.

"It is an honour to have you here. What do you think of the Dutch Grand Prix so far?"

"The atmosphere is incredible. I mean, look around: a sea of orange. The Dutch fans are so passionate and it's so fantastic to see them supporting Formula 1, and their favourite driver: Max. There's just so much enthusiasm even in the rain," Christian answered the question. 

The fans cheered once again. The rain didn't bother them, they weren't made of sugar. 

Matilde couldn't stop smiling, it was so beautiful to see the love of these people. She saw it at Spielberg en Spa already, but this was the next level. "It is just amazing to be here, I can't say anything else," she shared her thoughts. "I've never seen this kind of energy before, wow."

"But you have been at Zandvoort before, right?" Christian then asked.

She nodded. "Yes, in 2021, when there were still COVID regulations. I've seen a part of it, but not like this."

The interviewer laughed. "And how is it for the team to be here? Do you feel the extra pressure to perform?" He looked at Christian.

"I would be lying if I said I didn't feel the extra pressure, but it's good to feel the extra pressure, it gives us energy to get out the most of this weekend," Christian said. "We're aiming for the top spot. Max is on home turf, and being able to be here at a historical track is just phenomenal."

The fans were cheering once again.

"Matilde, how are you doing? You missed three races due to a medical situation. How does it feel to be back?"

Slowly, it stopped raining. Matilde closed the umbrella and nodded at the question. She knew it was a routine questionnaire, since everyone was here for Christian and Max. "I'm fine, thanks," she replied and smiled gratefully. "I had my appendix removed during Silverstone and I am fully recovered. It was hard to watch the races from home, so I'm glad to be back - even though I was at Spa to watch the race. I can't wait for what the second half of the season can bring us." She looked around. 

"And how does it feel to compete against your old team? You've switched from Red Bull to Ferrari between seasons, Zandvoort is one of the home races of Red Bull, Max and Charles are fighting for the top spot. Is this race different for you than others?"

Matilde loved how much this man was framing her into the Dutch side. The Dutch would do this so often and easily. Everything that they would do to get a quote about Max. "I will give them Zandvoort, I will get Monza," she joked and looked at Christian. They were both laughing. "Perhaps. Maybe. We will see how it goes. But, err, it's incredible to see Max and Charles, and Carlos, fight. In the beginning, it was weird to be on Ferrari's side after being at Red Bull's side for a few years, but it's a pleasure to work for Ferrari, to work with brilliant people and get the most out of it. It's a privilege and I hope we have more fights in the future."

The interview continued. Matilde and Christian enjoyed the atmosphere, also because they could joke around for a bit. Luckily, the Dutch fans understood the vibes and went along with them.

When the interview came to an end, Matilde and Christian thanked the interviewer and the crowd. The crowd returned some cheers to them, and the pulsating beat of the music from the boxes filled the air again. Matilde and Christian were still standing on the side of the stage, still talking to the interviewer for a moment. Well, Christian did and Matilde was waiting. Some fans could still see them.

A massive smile appeared on Matilde's face. "Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen," she sang along, when the song boomed from the boxes. "Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen. Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen. Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen. Tu, tu, tu, tu, Max Verstappen." She listened to the song carefully. "Let's take it to the max, put your hands up, hands up." Her eyes met Christian's, who almost gave her a side eye. Only for that look, she raised her hands up in the air. "Let's go, let's go." When the beat dropped, Matilde jumped and moved along with the rhythm. It was a spontaneous moment filled with joy, carefree expression of excitement and the passion that racing and the incredible Dutch fans had stirred within her.

Everyone witnessed the unexpected spectacle of the Ferrari team principal dancing with enthusiasm to a song of her rival. The crowd cheered and laughed, but still sang along with the song.

Christian couldn't contain his laughter at the sight. It looked like Matilde had the time of her life. He clapped and then jumped along with Matilde for a second. It was a break from the competition, and Christian appreciated the spirited energy Matilde brought to the scene.

* * *

Max Verstappen private: Are you almost there yet?

Matilde privé: Almost! Just getting out of the metro

When she heard the announcer say they've arrived at 'De Pijp' she stood up and waited for the metro to stop. Along with some F1 fans, who just came back from Zandvoort, she stepped out of the metro and took the escalator upstairs. She checked out with her debit card and walked out of the metro station. Luckily for Matilde, the fans didn't seem to recognize her. While walking towards the bar where she was supposed to meet with Max, she looked around and took in the typical architecture of Amsterdam.

After a short walk, she saw the bar and made her way to the entrance. A man stood next to the door and he eyed her up and down. A slightly uncomfortable feeling washed over her and she tried to shake off the feeling. He had a drink in his hand and a cigarette in his other hand.

"Matilde?" he said.

"Yes?" she answered, slightly unsure. She didn't know how to respond correctly.

"Great, come on in," he told her and he laughed. "I just had to make sure that you aren't a fan."

Matilde smiled as well. This man was probably a bouncer that Max had hired to ensure no fans would disturb his night out after the race. She opened the door and stepped into a hallway and after opening the next door, she was welcomed with the music and the chatter from the people inside. Before she had the time to properly look around, a piercing scream filled her ears.

"MATILDE!"

Many people looked at the entrance, to see Matilde looking like she wished the ground would swallow her up. Charles was one of those people who looked at her, the shout by Max' engineer GP pulled him out of his conversation with Pierre Gasly. He recognised his team principal and turned his head back to Pierre to finish his sentence. However, the image of Matilde in a dress, made him forget all the words and he had to look back at her.

There she stood, smiling widely and pointing at GP. She rolled her eyes, took off her blazer and made her way to him. Charles' eyes kept following her. This was the first time he saw her in a dress. The dress hugged her curves perfectly. The light green colour fitted her skin tone and her light coloured hair - which was now in a loose braid which resulted in an exposed neck. She had never looked like this before.

Pierre looked besides Charles and followed his eye sight to see who took Charles' attention. A smirk grew on Pierre's lips when he saw her. He looked back at Charles; a soft look glazed in his eyes. "Hello," Pierre said and punched Charles' shoulder.

"What the fuck," Charles mumbled and he glanced at Pierre.

"Are you going to finish your story or what?" Pierre grinned.

Charles rolled his eyes and punched Pierre back, he tried to remember the conversation they just had, so that he could continue the conversation.

On the other side of the room, Matilde had finally found Max and they were having a gin and tonic together. The whole place was crowded with drivers, colleagues and other people who were important to Max. Matilde had to raise her voice at Max to make herself heard.

"Where did you find all these people?" Matilde asked with a smile on her face.

"Oh, most of them are paid actors," Max casually said and he took a sip of his cocktail.

Matilde shook her head. "Who is the most expansive?"

"You."

"When can I expect the payment?"

"You receive my love; that's enough," he replied. He wrapped his arm around Matilde's neck, bringing her closer to him, and kissed her cheek.

A laugh rolled over her lips and right at that moment, a photo was made of them. Gemma stepped towards the two friends and showed the picture on her phone.

"This is so cute!" Matilde yelled enthusiastically and looked at Max.

The corners of Max' mouth were about to curl up, but he straightened his face on purpose. "I've seen cuter photos of us before," he said and walked away, welcoming the next guest. While he walked away, he looked over his shoulder and smirked at Matilde and Gemma.

Gemma's jaw dropped and looked in disbelief at Matilde.

Matilde squeezed her eyebrows together and looked at Gemma while bursting into laughter. "What a fucking dickhead," she laughed.

"I..." Gemma looked perplexed. Matilde figured out that Gemma already had a few drinks in. "A huge dickhead, jeez man." She put her phone away and hugged Matilde tightly. "Where is your juichcape?"

"My what?"

"Juichcape? That orange cape with a lion on it? That thing you wore today before the race?"

"Ooo, yeah, Ferrari took it from me, party poopers," Matilde playfully smiled.

Gemma frowned. "That is ridiculous. I hope you will get it back and wear it at Monza."

A laugh rolled over Matilde's lips. "We will see."

As the evening progressed, the atmosphere in the bar grew livelier with each passing moment. Matilde found herself caught up in the whirlwind of conversations, laughter and the occasional clinking of glasses. At the beginning, she stayed with the same group; GP, Gemma and Max, who had a pitstop at the group every now and then. Later on, she bumped into familiar faces from the grid, moved through the crowd, exchanged greetings and engaged in light-hearted conversations. For a moment, she had forgotten that she was a team principal; she was just Matilde.

Matilde walked past the bar and kitchen to the toilets. There was peace - as far as possible. The banter was in the distance. Matilde washed her hands and looked in the mirror, the baby hairs around her skin started the curl up, to her annoyance. A sigh left her mouth and she tried to smoothen the hairs, but she realised it wouldn't do anything to her hair since water would only make it worse and without any product it wouldn't do anything. But whatever, she thought, she didn't have to look at it.

Her eyes shot up in the mirror when someone walked behind her. "Oh, hey," she smiled and turned around.

Charles stopped walking and looked over his shoulder. "Hey," he smiled.

"I didn't know you were here," she mentioned.

"Yeah," he chuckled. "Small bar, but so many people."

Matilde chuckled and agreed with him. Charles stepped into the men's bathroom. Matilde turned back to the mirror and took a deep breath: 'I didn't know you were here', an enthusiastic move. Disappointedly, she put on some tinted lip balm and was about to go back when Charles stepped out of the bathroom.

"Max surely knows how to throw a party," Charles said and washed his hands. "Is it a party?" He looked at Matilde.

"It's a party, but I get what you mean," she replied. When someone said a party, she would think of a birthday party, but this was a casual party in a local, modern, typical bar in Amsterdam. "I like this bar, it's so typical Amsterdam." They weren't in an old brown bar, but more the modern version of it. If she remembered it correctly, it used to be a brewery.

He nodded and dried his hands. "It is surely different from Monaco," he agreed. "How do they do it in Denmark?"

"Monaco is fancy, huh?" A playful smile played on her lips. Charles rolled his eyes. "Copenhagen has the same vibes, but I like it more there." They walked back to the bar. "Have you ever been to Denmark?"

They were welcomed by a lot of noise again; people who were talking, laughing and some music.

"Do you have something to drink?" Charles asked, almost raising his voice. He didn't wait for an answer. "What do you want?"

Matilde read the menu above the bar. "I will take a Radler." Charles nodded and went to the bar to order a Radler for Matilde and a glass of white wine for himself. "Thanks," she smiled when Charles handed her the beer with lemonade. They moved through the people towards the back of the space.

"Sante," Charles said.

"Skål," Matilde said and clinked her glass against his.

He took a sip. "But I have never been to Denmark. I've been to Finland, though."

A chuckle left her mouth. "Yeah, but that's not Denmark. It's far from Denmark." She took another sip from her beer. "I've never been to Monaco, but I've been to France," she cheekily said and winked.

"But you have bee- oh, come on, Matilde. Don't be ridiculous."

"Don't call out the wrong counties."

Their conversation flowed effortlessly, punctuated by shared jokes and teasing. Even though they shared their love for racing, they didn't talk about it. They were interested in each other. Being in an unfamiliar, non motorsport area - besides being surrounded by people of the motorsport, gave them the shot to get to know each other on a different level. Unnoticeably, Charles stepped closer to Matilde to hear her more properly. The music became louder, which caused everyone to raise their voice to make themselves understandable. Matilde leaned in to him when she shared her words and to listen to her words. Her arm touched his arm and he sometimes felt an electric shock through their arms. Matilde looked down when she felt her cheeks heating up, because she realised what was happening. She bit her lip and placed a lost piece of hair behind her ear.

"Hello."

Matilde looked up and Kevin was standing in front of her and Charles. The shy look on her face changed to a confused, but surprised look. "Hej."

"I'm gonna steal her from you," Kevin informed Charles while smiling. His eyes shot from Charles to Matilde, who couldn't hide her blushes, Matilde followed Kevin to the bar, where they both ordered sparkling water. "How much did you drink?"

Matilde squinted her eyes and leaned against the bar. "Gin & Tonic and a Radler beer. Why? You? How did you even get here? Since when are you friends with Max?"

"Only a beer," he replied. "And Max invited Nico and Nico took me with him. Anyway, you're going to Denmark next week, right?"

"You know, Kevin, your conversation skills turned into detective skills," she mentioned. A smile curved on her lips. "But yes, after Monza."

"Do you have a free evering that week?" Before he let her say anything, he accepted her feedback by turning his question into a conversation. "Because next month is my birthday and you are busy so I was thinking of going out for dinner with Louise, Lars, Lene and you to celebrate it ahead."

"Yes, that sounds amazing," she said. "Of course, I will be there."

A happy smile came on Kevin's face. "For how long will you be home?"

"The entire week, I'm working from home," she shared. "I have a few meetings in Copenhagen, management wise, and I will give the students of Lars a masterclass about PR."

He nodded impressed. "Ready to leave it all behind for a week?"

"No, but if they fuck it up, they fuck it up," she shrugged. They both laughed. "I'm still working from home, though."

As Matilde and Kevin continued their conversation at the bar, Charles watched them from a distance, a twinge of jealousy tugging at his heart. He knew Kevin had a wife and children, and he knew that he was just friends with Matilde and that she knew his wife as well. But he couldn't help but feel a pang of disappointment at the interruption, wishing he could have more time alone with Matilde. Despite his initial jealousy, Charles felt happy for Matilde that she had a good friendship with Kevin. It was always a nice feeling to have someone in the same world that came from the same country. He had always been on her side.

At some point, a Dutch song blasted through the speakers, a song everybody knew: Europapa by Joost Klein. They all shouted some familiar words and when the part came on to hak, some made an attempt on hakken, but there were a few who could pull it off. Matilde was familiar with the scene, a cousin of hers was obsessed with hakken. She pulled off an attempt, and it looked like it. But at least they all had fun. It was like they ended up at a party with songs everybody could easily shout along.

The night was nearing, and many people decided to leave and the bar was about to close in twenty minutes. Just like Matilde and Charles, who happened to stay in the same hotel, so they decided to leave together - well, Charles insisted on leaving together since he didn't feel comfortable with Matilde walking back to the hotel on her own.

Matilde grabbed her blazer from the rack and was about to put it on, but a familiar tune entered her ear. She looked into the crowd, finding Gemma. Gemma looked up from her phone, looking for Matilde. A smile grew on Matilde's face and she looked at Charles, who raised his eyebrows by her glance. "Hold on," she said to Charles and pushed her blazer and purse into his hands. She made her way back into the crowd.

"I am unwritten. Can't read my mind," Gemma sang dramatically, singing along with Natasha Bedingfield's 90s hitsong Unwritten.

A laugh left Matilde's mouth. "I'm undefined. I'm just beginning. The pen's in my hand. Ending unplanned," she sang along.

Gemma's eyes lit up as Matilde joined the duet. The surrounding crowd turned to watch as the two friends lost themselves in the moment, their laughter filling the air as they sang. As they reached the chorus, Gemma threw her arm around Matilde's shoulder and they began to jump.

"Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you. Only you can let it in. No one else, no one else. Can speak the words on your lips. Drench yourself in words unspoken. Live your life. with arms wide open. Today is where your book begins. The rest is still unwritten."

For a brief moment, everything else faded away as they revelled in the simple pleasure of music and friendship. It was a happy moment for them, but it even made the others in the bar happy. The two women were enjoying life and the moment. And as the song came to an end, they hugged tightly, their smiles reflecting the pure happiness.

On the side, close to the exit, Charles was watching the two women. He adored Matilde's spontaneity and her happiness. With a smile on his face, he leant against a table and waited for her. During the song, his eyes scanned the people around them; Max was grinning and silently singing along, Kevin was sitting at the bar and was also singing along and many more people enjoyed the song. It was just a happy moment.

With a big smile on her face, Matilde walked back to Charles. "Sorry, I just needed to do that with Gemma," she said.

Charles held the blazer behind Matilde so he could help her with putting the blazer on. "No worries, enjoy the moment."

"Happiest three minutes of the night," she breathed.

They made eye contact with Max and he waved at them. Matilde waved at Kevin as well. Before the song came on, they said goodbye to everyone, so their wave was just a final goodbye for now. They stepped outside, facing the chill but stuffy weather. Charles put his hands in his pockets and got surprised when Matilde hooked her arm in his.

"I wish I had a bike right now," Matilde mentioned when she was looking at one of the twenty bikes in the street. "My feet are killing me."

He looked down at her feet; she was wearing heels, low heels. They looked comfortable to him. "I can book an Uber," he offered.

"Meh, that's not necessary," she replied. "As long as we will not get recognised, we can just walk." She looked around. "It's funny how some countries are bicycle counties and others are not."

"It's so weird to look around and see at least one bike here."

"I believe there are more bikes in The Netherlands than people."

Charles smirked, the random facts Matilde shared was precious. "How is that even possible?"

"I don't know," she shrugged. "So... Are there more wheels or doors?"

He let go of her because there was an obstacle on the pavement. However, he hooked his fingers into hers and walked in front of her. "When seeing all these bikes... Wheels. What do you think?"

"Definitely wheels," she answered. "I don't know why, but wheels." When they could walk next to each other, Charles made sure Matilde was walking on the inside of him. Neither one of them let go of the other's hand. "Did you enjoy this evening?"

He nodded. "I did. You?"

"Good. And I did too. I enjoyed how casual it was, no fancy dancy talk, just casual talk," she replied.

"But Max and gin & tonics..."

Matilde stopped walking and did the move: Max was holding his hands in the air and his index fingers were pointed to the top, and then he would move them up and down. Charles did the same and they both started to laugh. "Such a dad move," she laughed.

Charles clapped his hands and couldn't stop laughing at the impression. "That is a classic Max move," he laughed.

"It's just sweet," she commented and smiled. However, it quickly faded away when she felt the irritated sensation around her feet. Those sandal heels looked cute, it was simple, elegant, chic, but a feet killer. They were mid heeled, not even that high, but that didn't matter. "You know what," she said and looked at Charles.

"Hmm, what?" Charles said, waiting for a serious answer since she had a stern look on her face.

"I am gonna take off these heels because I can't do this anymore," she revealed and grabbed Charles' arm for support. She took off her heels.

"Matilde, stop," he advised her sternly. "Don't do that."

"What? It's so fucking painful."

"Don't go barefoot, that's fucking disgusting."

"I would rather have dirty feet than painful feet."

"What about glass? Or... cigarettes. They will end up in your feet and then I have to bring you to the hospital for a treatment," he told her and raised his eyebrows.

Matilde thought about it and nodded. "Uh, no. That will not happen," she convincingly smiled and stepped away from him, resuming her way to the hotel.

"Matilde," Charles warned her and wrapped his hand around her wrist. He pulled her back to him. He would not let her stubbornness get the best of her.

"Charles," Matilde copied his tone and stood in front of him, she was not amused.

Matilde's lips were set in a stubborn line while Charles wore a disapproving expression.

"You don't know what could be on the ground," he said, his grip on her wrist firm but gentle. "Let me call an Uber."

"The hotel is literally there," she replied and pointed at a building a kilometre away. She knew he was right, but calling an Uber for a short ride was not necessary. And many people lived barefoot. So what could happen to her? "I'll be careful."

Charles studied her for a moment, his gaze softening when he recognised the stubborn streak in her eyes. He knew he couldn't force her to do anything she didn't want to, but he didn't want her to feel uncomfortable either.

Their eyes locked in a silent battle of wills, each refusing to back down. They just stood there, somewhere in Amsterdam, grumbling about heels and the pavement. They were centimetres apart from each other. Charles felt a surge of protectiveness wash over him, the feeling became stronger after the incident in Silverstone. Matilde's gaze softened as she scanned his face, she could see the concern etched in his features, the worry lines that creased his forehead and she couldn't help but feel a flutter of warmth in her chest.

Charles closed the remaining distance between them, his hand reaching up to her cheekbone. He stroked a piece of hair behind her ear and looked at her lips briefly. When he looked back into her eyes, he saw a sparkle. He leaned in, his lips brushing against hers in a sweet kiss.

Time stood still as they savoured the sweetness of the moment. Matilde's heart fluttered in her chest as she melted into his touch, the sensation sending shivers down her spine. Her hands tenderly touched his chest. The kiss was soft, yet filled with desire, longing and a sense of belonging.

When they pulled away, Matilde leaned her forehead against his, their breaths mingling in the night air. Her heart was racing. She could feel the warmth of his breath against her skin, sending more shivers down her spine.

"Let me take you to the hotel," Charles whispered, his voice barely audible over the pounding of their hearts. "I don't want you to get hurt."

She lifted her head, meeting his gaze with a soft smile. "How?"

"Here, hold this," he said and handed over the purse he had been holding. "And jump on my back."

"Charles," she giggled and covered her mouth with her hand. "Are you sure?"

"Yes," he smiled and turned around.

Matilde jumped on his back and wrapped one of her arms carefully around his neck. Charles put his hands around her legs and started to walk to the hotel. "You smell nice," she whispered. She wanted to make a comment about how men's cologne would stay on them for days and women's perfume for a second, but knew it was better to keep her mouth shut.

"Thank you," he softly chuckled. As he was walking, he felt a sense of peace wash over him, a feeling of contentment settling in his mind and heart.

As Charles carried Matilde on his back through the streets of Amsterdam, a sense of warmth enveloped them, cocooning them in their own little world. Matilde rested her head against his shoulder, her heart filled with gratitude for his caring gesture. She could feel the steady rhythm of his footsteps beneath her, each step bringing them closer to the hotel.

The hotel staff didn't look up when they entered the hotel. Charles made his way to the lift and Matilde pressed the button, calling the lift. There was silence between them when they stepped into the lift and made their way to the right floor. Charles walked to Matilde's room after she told him which number she had.

Charles gently lowered Matilde to her feet. Their eyes met and in that fleeting moment, a silent understanding passed between them. They shared a smile.

"Thank you," she whispered, her voice barely audible in the stillness of the hotel.

Charles smiled, his eyes reflecting the warmth of his heart. "Anytime," he replied softly. "Sleep well," he said, knowing it was the right decision to leave for now.

"Good night, Charles," she smiled satisfied and opened her room door. Before stepping inside, she turned around and quickly pecked his lips. Then, she entered her room and closed the door behind her.

When she walked to the bathroom, a smile was resting on her face. What a man could do... Matilde looked at herself in the mirror, she looked so stupid for smiling this big. What he could do... A soft giggle left her mouth and she shook her head.

What Charles could make her feel like... Wrong.

Matilde straightened her face and stared at herself. What she just did was wrong, very wrong. It shouldn't have happened. It was disgusting. Tears filled her eyes, she was disappointed in herself.

She was his boss.

He was her driver.

"Fuck."

Taglist: @itsjustkhaos@crashingwavesofeuphoria@maryvibess @chocolatefartstrawberry @snzleclerc @ironmaiden1313 @blodwyn4u

[familyabolisher]

hey, I was reading your posts on the use of 'reading comprehension' and found them really enlightening. I'm wondering, are there similar undercurrents to how people use lack of reading comprehension to describe the tendency for people to read and interpret in bad faith online, or are they different things grouped together under the same label?

hm yeah i would say there are some similar undercurrents happening. i think glibly mocking [a lack of] reading comprehension in response to a bad-faith/hostile/animous/etc engagement (like eg. the trend of replying with 'reading comprehension questions' that aim to glibly point out logical flaws in the initial response and present it as obviously ridiculous and overblown) is falling back on that same discursive construction -- that a lack of 'reading comprehension' is embarrassing, that reading something poorly or wrongly is something you should be sure never to do in public, and whoever can score the most Reading Comprehension Points in the argument wins the discourse.

i also just find it, like, unfunny and boring. even in genuinely bad-faith interpretations of a post, it has an air of smugness to it that i find really off-putting -- it's a very, like, you sir have won the internet for today-type tone. and there are multiple cases where i've seen this Ha Ha No Reading Comprehension thing deployed to suggest that someone reading between the lines of a claim made in a post to point out eg. particular biases, particular suggestions of bigotry, that the post doesn't explicitly name but are certainly discursively present is obviously being dense or hysterical; it's an easy win in a discourse where to name something as eg. subtly racist, transphobic, misogynistic, etc., is already presumed to be hysterical overreaction by people who know better than to outright name it as such but are still predisposed to view it in that light when given the opportunity to do so covertly.

(eg: op says X; a responder points out that X implies Y and is emerging from a discourse of Z; op laughs at them by claiming that they only said X and if you're seeing Y or Z then you clearly have no reading comprehension because X without Y or Z is obvious to op's often already biased audience and the conversation is shut down.)

it's got a real like, deployment of Facts And Logic feel to it; i don't think it does a good job in actually engaging with the responder and understanding where their interpretation is coming from, which can ofc be chalked up to the fact that that's literally not what it's supposed to do -- it's supposed to get a fun dunk in and make the initial responder look silly. i more than understand frustration at people reading your posts in bad faith and i can't fairly be mad at people for lashing out about it -- i've done it before! -- but, like. i think we should just try and steer clear of discursive constructions which reify the stigmatisation of poor reading comprehension (or mediation of tone on the internet, which is also at play here).

[welcometoteyvat]

this is very belated but I watched a rather earthshattering lore video regarding furina's character demo and holy shit. this is just a summary bc I don't have many other thoughts to add I just wanted to share

the video is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wu-ec4chiKk, but it's in chinese lol

Anyways the summary/translation is: Furina's demo has those 4 scenes of the most wack ass stuff happening right. Childe is getting chased by 3 melusine guards, Neuvillette is getting arrested by Navia, Lynette is the magician while Lyney is the assistant in the water box, Freminet gets his helmet pulled off and a bunch of water comes spilling out*, etc. *(the video states that he got dissolved by primordial seawater but you can see his head if you stop at the right place. Anyways.) Op didn't mention anything about the Wriothesley Clorinde duel, but it could fit in the theory also.

The video states that Furina's crack headcanons all parallel things that have actually happened thus far in Fontaine, except the demo depicts the opposite of what really happened. Childe actually instigated the fight in the courthouse instead of running away; Navia's father was the one arrested (by Neuvillette/gardes); Lyney and Lynette's roles are swapped, and Freminet gets saved before he gets dissolved by the Primordial Sea. In the case of Wriothesley and Clorinde, that could be referencing when Clorinde used her gun to shoot the door closed and Wriothesley escapes from the primordial sea within an inch of his life. Except in the teaser, she's aiming her gun to shoot Wriothesley instead lol

So if everything's backwards from how it happened, you could technically state that the demo is a mirrored version of reality (somewhat touched upon in her character teaser, the depressing video). More on that later. Additionally, everything in the demo is just her imagination or an elaborate stageplay (ie All the World's a Stage, ie her demo title), so this is only the reality that she wants us, the audience to see. She is also controlling the actions of everyone on stage and is the director of this crack film (has the camera, directing the shots, fixes Neuvillette's hair, etc).

ok so if everything is backwards in reality, then the really joyous funny silly stuff in the trailer implies a grim dark depressing actual ending, further hinted by "Why cry, when you can laugh instead?" as a lyric in the song. in the trailer, she has the movements of all the cast under control—is that the same in reality? is she the one directing this show, or is someone else pulling the strings behind her?? she puts on a show for the other nations but do they buy it and think she's got everything under control??

Anyways all this is to say, hype for 4.2 archon quest am I right

[zelphin124]

LCB-3: Chapter 6

Oooooooo the party's first abnormality! I wonder how it's going to go... (not well).

Masterpost Chapter 5 <--> Chapter 7

~o0o~

Jekyll didn’t know what to say after the moment of silence passed between her and the veteran. 

She glanced around at the others; Mallo was nowhere to be seen with Mark’s body. Perhaps she traveled too far into the darkness where Jekyll couldn’t see. Lenore and Pen were quietly conversing next to Dante, who rubbed his hands together before moving to speak to the group. Jatayu followed suit, observing his surroundings the best he could amid the black cloud that prohibited sight. 

“Right, that situation has been dealt with,” Dante’s flames flickered on his head in a pattern of stress; the manager wasn’t taking the situation well. “Hopefully Mark is…” He paused, rubbing his hand on his clock face, adjusting the handles to get a speck of dust out of them. “Who am I kidding? No, he won’t be accepting of this chosen punishment… Hopefully, we don’t have to keep him like that for long… Does anyone have any suggestions on where to go next?” He changed the subject as if to relieve his mind of the anxiety the thought of Mark brought him. 

Shouldn’t you be telling us where to go? Jekyll thought to herself. You’re the manager, after all. 

Something pricked in the back of her mind. Jekyll had a hunch it was Hyde, but the freedom she had in her mind with the ID was reliving… and terrifying. She hadn’t felt this way in… Well, I can’t even remember the last time my thoughts weren’t shared. 

“I would thus suggest we try to go through the door the drone was barricading and locking, before continuing to press down the corridor,” Lenore suggested, walking next to Dante and away from Pen. 

Jekyll turned around, glancing at the door. She hadn’t realized the wall was locked by the drone, which now lay in the rubble. What could it be trying to keep in there? Perhaps it might be good if we saw what they are hiding. 

Locked doors always hold secrets behind them. 

“It is an abnormality door,” Dante informed, also walking up to it. “It is used to contain them. Though… I don’t know which one it is. I do know there should be one behind this door, I can sense it.” 

“Aren’t we supposed to hunt them, too?” Pen asked. 

“We… are expected to put them down, yes,” Dante answered, sighing. “Or, suppress them, that’s the formal way to classify it. The LCCD will clean up after us, taking the egg to a safer place than this.” 

Pen took this knowledge to heart, grabbing the door handle and trying to shove it open. It didn’t budge, as the welding around its opening was done skillfully. “It’s a door of containment…?” He muttered again, trying to figure out what was going on. 

Jekyll was curious herself, but couldn’t put her confusion into words. Did this door have an abnormality behind it? Was it anything like the ones they fought back on the bus? She had never seen one before but heard rumors about them all the time. The contract she signed to join Limbus Company talked about them a lot; immortal beings forged around a concept that they cannot change. 

But what did that mean? 

Jatayu tried his share at opening the door, humming to himself. He tried investigating it. “Hmm… I do think I can infer… that this door has been welded shut very tightly.” 

Jekyll couldn’t decide whether or not to suppress a laugh or to stop her hand from slapping her face. 

“Can we force our way through?” Pen rested the blunt end of his spear on the doorknob, moving it back and forth as if to aim and break it. 

Jatayu’s face was one of perplexion. “Can you bust through several inches of steel?” 

“I can always try,” was the hunter’s reply. 

Jatayu stepped out of the way, bowing slightly with a strange look on his face. “Be my guest,” he gestured to the door. 

Pen took his spot and tried to peer through the door gap. Jekyll guessed he couldn’t see anything on the other side due to his next action being wedging his spear into the gap, trying to pry the door open. He was unsuccessful, and the door refused to falter. Pen’s face flattened as he turned to the group in disbelief. “Who’s going next?” 

From the shadows, Lenore came into the light of Dante’s flames. She didn’t hesitate to strike the door with her rapier with full force. 

Jekyll was surprised the door was dented versus her rapier. In her years of studying, that wouldn’t make sense. However, she succeeded in denting the door, piercing through a few layers of steel. However, it failed to cave in and stood fastened to the floor. 

If we continue to try, we could bust through it… Jekyll ran her hand along the door’s crevices. But I don’t know if we have that time… Jekyll glanced around nervously, listening for anything on the other side.

“Oh,” Dante began, clasping his hands together and rubbing his thumbs. “Are we prepared for this? We don’t know what’s on the other side…” 

Pen rolled his eyes. “Worst-case scenario, we die. As long as you don’t, Dante, we will be fine.” 

Jekyll narrowed her eyes. You sound like Mark. “W-Well Dante,” Jekyll shook her head and faced the manager. “If we have the right IDs, we can handle it… Besides, if the drone was locking this up, it likely doesn’t want anyone else to obtain what’s inside. They are our enemies, so it very much could be something useful.” 

“The drone could’ve been locking the door up for safety, too,” Dante countered. “Abnormalities are no joke.” 

“Let’s just hunt them already!” Pen raised his voice, a wave of frustration escaping his tongue. “We are supposed to hunt abnormalities, so let’s hunt this one.” 

Dante nodded afirmedly. “Very well!” His voice also echoed through the halls. “Everyone! Assault and break down that door!” 

Jekyll raised her hands, about to smash the bust of the gun into the wall before pausing. Wait… guns are vital and incredibly expensive in the city… I shouldn’t treat it as if it’s easy to come by… She sighed. But my fists won’t work either… “Is… there a better ID for me to use, Dante?” She laughed nervously, scratching her neck. “It’s just… guns are super expensive and I don’t waste to damage this one. They aren’t good at bashing down doors.” 

“Oh!” Dante slapped his head. “Yeah, I have some prepared!” The manager proceeded to pull out a stack of cards through his jacket, flushing them out like he was playing poker. His head turned side to side as he looked through them. “I recently got a new one for you, actually.” 

Jekyll felt as if the manager smiled as he said that. 

Dante pulled out a card near the end of the stack and waved it in front of Jekyll from head to toe. Consequently, a light smoke briefly surrounded Jekyll as her ID transformed. The weight of the large backpack was lifted from her shoulders. It was replaced with a white cloak and white pants. Jekyll felt her hair grow in length, and parts of it were dyed red. Large, silver shoulder pads accompanied her outfit as a white cape flew behind her. A signature necklace and silver boots were a few of the finishing touches on the new outfit. 

Jekyll glanced down. Wait… this isn’t white… 

Her outfit was white, but it was hard to tell under the many, many streaks and stains of blood all across her outfit. In her hands was a large ax, also dripping with blood. The only color Jekyll could make out was the red and gold that complimented each other. She rested her hand on her face; scars and bruises were all across her cheeks. She noticed quickly how she was missing an eye. 

Jekyll’s eye. 

Suddenly, Jekyll felt something clap over her mouth. It was as if she was tied up and thrown into the back of her mind. Her mouth was gagged and her limbs were bound to the floor. She couldn’t move, she couldn’t speak, she could only watch in the background what was happening outside of her body. She was helpless and had no control; she was shunned, and silenced, as if she didn’t even exist in this body’s brain. Jekyll panicked, not used to this feeling at all. However, not even her thoughts were heard in her own head. She wouldn’t be able to give her input whatsoever.

What– Hyde’s thoughts ran through the air, shocked she could finally speak. Hyde took over the body with ease as if this particular body had only been Hyde for a very, very long time. 

Hyde took a moment to take in reality before staring at Dante. She opened her mouth to ask questions, then closed it. This happened a few times, and she couldn’t figure out what to ask first. She winked, feeling the missing eye. For some reason, it didn’t feel unusual as if it had never been there. 

Why the hell wasn’t I able to say anything in that other ID?! What the heck is this body? And… why do I feel a burning hatred towards the manager? He doesn’t deserve this level of anger from me, he’s not even worth that. 

Dante let out a soft train horn. “Oh no! Hyde!” 

“Hi,” Hyde titled her head and smiled wickedly, adjusting the large ax in her hand. “I have many questions…” She paused, sighing. “Mm… nah, it’s not worth my time.” 

Lenore seemed the most shocked out of everyone in the group. Her face was filled with pure horror, especially when her eyes locked on the Nagul Und Hammer symbol on Hyde’s cape. “Where’s Jekyll…?” She barely muttered. “Isn’t she usually in charge?” 

Hyde laughed, a surge of glee and delight running through her veins. Not anymore. I don’t even hear her! A new set of memories filled her mind. The memories told her this ID’s story… and who else was involved. Oh, how cruel and glorious… 

“This ID says Hyde,” Dante glanced at the glowing card in his hand. He handed it to Lenore, his flames cracking in anxious intervals. 

“Dante,” Hyde snapped. 

Dante shuddered at her call, his head barely above his shoulders as he shrank back. “Y-Yes?” He stammered. 

“You’re still my lifeline, I suppose?” Hyde narrowed her eyes, subconsciously gripping her ax tighter. The inner rage she felt towards the manager had nothing to do with his personality… rather the clock on his head. Weird. I didn’t think anything of it beforehand, but it would look better on a stick. “Don’t make me mad, I have the strong urge to kill you because of that stupid clock on your head, I don’t… really know why.” She smirked. “I don’t need a good reason to not want to, though.” 

Lenore’s face drained of color, she stepped back mortified as her eyes went wide, looking back at Hyde. “What the hell happened to you?” Her voice shook with fear; Hyde could tell she had some sort of personal horror and inside information with this type of ID. “The one who shall grip… I didn’t expect you to be something THAT bad…” 

You have no idea, Hyde laughed as she stepped forward, staring Lenore down with daggers for an eye. “You don’t say.” Her smile was wild. “Hyde is Hyde, all the same. Just with a hell of a ton of memories, I don’t recall happening and…” Hyde snapped her glare back at Dante. “Some uncanny hatred towards you.” 

“T-T-That makes sense for w-what you are,” Lenore stuttered, struggling with her words. She didn’t like this situation at all. It was evident her mind was at war, and she had a hard time pulling herself together. “That… wasn’t appropriate of me, just please don’t kill the manager…” 

A bell rang in Hyde’s mind, drawing a particular new memory from this ID to her attention. “Why not?” Her face was filled with a chaotic, psychopathic glee. “Do you not hunger for blood like I? The version of you in this ID’s world would have,” she stopped to laugh. “Immediately, even! You wouldn’t hesitate to stab Dante through the skull! Why don’t you bring that version of Lenore in?” Hyde turned to Dante, her tone more demanding than asking. “It would be so much fun to bring her in~” 

“N-N-No surely not, that can’t be true,” Lenore exhaled a shaky breath before her eyes furrowed. Something steered in her soul, and curiosity got the better of her. “Screw it, I want to see…” 

Hyde smirked. Perfect. I’m going to thrill at watching her world collapse before her eyes. 

Dante didn’t object; he pulled out the other two Nagul Und Hammer IDs and waved them in front of Jatayu and Lenore. He then stood back, watching the transformation happen.

The Cinq ID fell away from Lenore’s body and was immediately replaced with an outfit similar to Hyde’s. The gold shimmered under the blood staining her white garments, and her face became more scarred and crazed like Hyde���s, part of her hair dyed as well. It was clear that Lenore’s outfit was the beholder of the title One Who Grips. “Ah,” was all she uttered as the outfit and memories set onto Lenore. “Hyde,” she smiled, nodding her head. “It’s good to see you.” 

Hyde raised her head in pride, slightly surprised by how proud she was to follow Lenore as a leader in this world. “Likewise.”

Lenore turned her attention to the rest of the party before immediately grabbing her weapon as her voice raised at Dante. “A heretic, in our party?!” She snarled, the weapon in her hands spinning around. “You must die!”

Dante stood up straight, surprised. “Wai–”

Something struggled in the back of Hyde’s mind. She watched as Lenore lunged for the manager, aiming for his head. She sighed. You uncontrolled impulsive freak– She didn’t want to step in, but the fact of the matter was that Dante was their lifeline. 

And she wasn’t going to face death again today. 

Hyde zoomed in between Dante and Lenore, swinging her ax with great precision and skill. She knocked Lenore’s attack out of the way and shoved Dante out of the way towards Pen, facing Lenore head-on as she took the blow. 

The look of betrayal on Lenore’s face was ravid with rage as she grabbed Hyde’s shoulder and flung her into the wall, hissing at her. The crunching impact echoed through the halls. “I can’t believe you! My most loyal henchmen protecting a filthy heretic? What’s gotten into you?!” 

Hyde winked, laughing as the debris from the wall slam settled around her. Wait for it… Base Lenore should kick in any time now… “Was gouging out one of my eyes not enough suffering for you?” Hyde sneered and mocked. “I told you; you hungered for blood as much as I did in this world.” 

Lenore’s gaze faltered, and her crazed look disappeared immediately. 

There it is. Hyde smirked with glee, about to savor the next few moments. 

Lenore immediately dropped Hyde to the ground, backing up uncontrollably and collapsing onto the floor. She dropped her weapon and stared at her blood-covered hands as they shook violently. She curled up into a ball, her eyes darting back and forth as her breath quickened. Tears streamed from her eyes. 

Hyde immediately got up from the floor, her head high as Lenore’s pain fed her psychopathic need for suffering. The way Lenore panicked when conflicting with her ID was addicting. It was similar to an adrenaline rush one would get watching a horror movie; Hyde didn’t want the sensation to end. 

“This isn’t…” Lenore muttered under her breath, her breathing getting faster by the second. “This isn’t me, Dante,” she looked at him desperately, begging him for help. “Dante this isn’t me… is it?” 

It took a moment for the manager to assess the situation, ensuring the threat to his life was no longer present. Without a word to anyone else for protection, he walked up to Lenore and offered her his hand as she sat on the floor. The light on his head followed him, dimming everything else around him except for him and Lenore. “No, this is not the real you, Lenore. This is just you in a different world, in another reality, under different circumstances.” 

Lenore hesitated before taking his hand, and Dante hoisted her up onto her feet. She sighed, immediately calming down at the warmth of his presence. “Thank you… I can’t believe this is what I become in some other world…” 

Hyde, standing behind Dante and semi-facing Lenore, crossed her arms and rolled her eyes. Ugh, resolution. Pathetic. 

“I need to take control of myself,” Lenore continued, much to Hyde’s disapproval. “If you wish to punish me for my actions, manager, I completely understand.” 

Hyde couldn’t hold back her laughter. It was odd to watch Lenore act this way with all the memories of the equipped ID. Ridiculous, even. It was unlike her. It’s the stupid base ID leaking through. 

Lenore took a step away from Dante as she walked up to Hyde, holding her breath. “I have a lot of memories with you, in this ID…” She began. “We did a lot… a lot of bad things.” 

Hyde nodded, recalling the thousands of people they impaled for their cause of purifying the world. She leaned against the wall, her arms crossed and her eye staring daggers. You’re no different; I can read you like a book. Spit it out. 

“And this version of me of this world we share… owes you an apology…” Lenore glanced to the ground, unable to meet Hyde’s piercing stare. “Somehow, it feels like I was the one that made you worse, rather than the other way around.” 

That’s not… Hyde sighed, cracking a forced smile. “Tsk tsk, you’re not used to all those horrible memories in your head, eh? Hah! I remembered worse,” Hyde scoffed, rolling her eyes. “No one can make me worse, I am the worst, and that’s a factor that doesn’t change between worlds.” 

Hyde knew she was bluffing; she didn’t know that for sure. However, it was a great assumption she was willing to take. The maestro told me I was awful in every mirror world, anyway…

“Alright…” Lenore didn’t seem to take the answer well but decided to drop the subject. “I suggest and ask we take the extensive amount of anger and violence that we feel ravaging through our very souls… and fuel it against the enemy we are about to fight,” Lenore finally met Hyde’s stare. “I am… being horribly defective yet effective…” 

She turned towards Jatayu. Hyde followed her gaze, observing the knightly armor now placed on Jatayu’s body. Jatayu wore a knight helmet and carried a large hammer. A red cape hung from his shoulders, and he was covered in silver from head to toe. If it weren’t for Hyde, he would have been second in command, and he was faithful to the purification in the other world. I wonder how it’ll affect him now. 

“I have memories with you too,” Lenore sighed in dissatisfaction. “We did horrible things, too. We were, however, effective,” The One who Grips turned back to Hyde. “We will be able to handle what’s coming.” 

Hyde pushed herself off the wall with her foot, swinging her ax around. Her smirk grew wide with a hunger for blood. “Let’s have some fun~” 

Lenore looked as if she was never going to get used to Hyde’s eagerness for bloodshed. “Yeah… let’s.” 

Hyde gestured to Jatayu once more, the chaotic smile on her face not wavering. “Do you think he feels the same boiling rage?” 

“I don’t know,” Lenore returned her gaze to the knight. “Jatayu–” 

“Yes, madam!” Jatayu interrupted, shouting and standing up straight. He saluted her immediately, not saying another word as he awaited orders.

It was the first time Hyde saw Lenore crack a smile in her new situation. “That… I could get used to,” she points towards the welded-shut door. “Get that door open for us, and break some bones.” 

“YOUR WILL BE DONE!” The knight shouted in obedience at the top of his lungs. He stepped forward with sheer strength, lifting his hammer high and slamming it onto the door. 

The violent sound of crushing steel ran like a swarm of horses through the corridor. The door folded under the attack, but didn’t break from the welding and barely held its ground. It was easier to see glimpses inside the chamber, but it was too difficult to make anything sensible out of the bright light. 

“My apologies, madam, I have failed you,” Jatayu hung his head low, resting his hammer near his toes. 

Pen rolled his eyes, about to take another stab at it. However, Lenore stopped him. “I think The One Who Shall Grip Hyde has this,” she turned toward Hyde and nodded, an odd sense of pride flowing through her. 

“Step back, workshop fixer! Let the One Who Shall Grip take care of it!” Jatayu added, bowing and gesturing towards the door. 

Hyde kept her head high as she walked up to the door and took a few steps back. She bent over and readied her ax as if it was muscle memory, her foot extending out behind her to push off the ground when ready. Alright… let’s see what this version of me accumulated. It better be good. 

Hyde rushed forward, slamming her ax into the dent of the door with sheer force. Her speed was unmatchable, and fire grazed the silver on her outfit. 

The door folded like a piece of paper under her attack, flying across the new room’s floor and sliding to a halt with a loud screech. Hyde stood up, proud of her accomplishment. Wow. Stronger than I thought. 

And there’s no Jekyll to complain about it, how lovely. 

“Congrats! Thank you for showing the might of N Corp!” Jatayu cheered, raising his hammer. 

A strange smell caught Hyde’s attention, one of soft perfume and flowers. She stared into the new room, narrowing her eyes to try and see what was inside and making such a blinding light. 

“Right, we shall head inside…” Lenore stopped herself. “It occurs to me I’m not in charge… Let’s reboot, and listen to Dante.” 

“Listen to the masked one,” Jatayu confirmed. 

“That would be much preferred,” Dante nodded nervously, still processing everything that went down. 

“Yes… listen to the masked one,” Lenore decided to roll with Jatayu’s description. 

“Can we get a move on already?” Pen snapped, gesturing to where Hyde was standing. 

“Do you guys hear that noise?” Dante ignored Pen’s remark and asked out of the blue. 

Pen didn’t seem to mind. “What noise?” 

“That… faint, scratching noise,” Dante informed, backing closer against the wall.

Lenore turned to witness Mallo coming out of the shadows, Mark’s body still flung over her shoulder. Her expression was the same. “Mallo, keep an eye out on the manager for us and keep him company,” she ordered. “Don’t let him risk his life.” 

Mallo just nodded in response. 

Although Hyde knew what was going on around her, she couldn’t take her eyes off the light. What… is that? 

“Let’s go in,” Lenore gave the cue. 

Hyde didn’t waste another moment. She zoomed in at full speed, silently tapping her feet on the ground as she got closer to the light. The figure of the creature slowly came into view, and the light dimmed as Hyde approached it. 

“Ugh, gotta fight with these scrubs,” was the last thing Hyde heard from Pen before her focus was fixated on the abnormality before her. 

At first glance, it looked like a bird. A white, glorious bird. Its face was soft, and its wings were round like soft waver chips. It had puffy feathers and hair accompanying its head, and it wore something similar to a ballerina gown. It was rather humanoid despite its bird-like appearance, with legs that danced on the ground and wings for arms, its gaze frightful and afraid. Its presence was soft like light, but it engulfed everything around it, and Hyde couldn’t help but be familiar with the vibe it gave off. 

“Have you come to free me?” Its voice was cracked, soothing, and flew like water over an ocean shore. Its legs tapped the ground and sent ripples through the floor as if the rest of the party were walking on water. 

To say that Hyde was enchanted by the abnormality was a complete understatement; Hyde stood dumbfounded, in awe. It was beautiful; unlike anything she had ever seen before. She felt the urge to draw it next if she could. She wondered where she would find the right type of blood to create white paint like her feathers, perhaps finding a few flowers would help with the correct hue. 

What a glorious being, one full of delight and beautiful hues. She didn’t stop the smirk from growing on her face. I wonder how beautiful it bleeds. 

Pen decided to take a step forward towards it, his grip on his weapon strengthening. “Would you be compliant to move out of this facility?” He asked in a matter-of-fact tone, not enchanted regarding its beauty like Hyde was. 

The swan looked bewildered by his comment, taking a step back. “It’s not safe out there… I will just be brought back here.” 

“But you are free,” Pen gestured to the rubble that used to be the door. “We just broke down the door.” 

I broke down the door, thanks. Hyde shot a minor glare at Pen. Stop disrespecting the being and let her talk. 

“But if I leave now,” the swan continued, casting a glance outside the facility. “I will be brought back here, trapped in this place once more… This place is at least safe, and people don’t hurt me…” 

Hyde bit her finger, observing the Swan more closely and its surroundings. The sign says ‘White Lake’. Did it name itself? It wants to be protected, it seems. How unfortunate it cannot defend itself.

“I promise where you are going next, you will be safer there than in here,” Pen reassured, taking a few more steps closer to the abnormality. 

“Will you free me from these chains? I am trapped in this dang cave… I just want to be safe, and free…” The White Lake continued to talk in a victim-like tone, slowly backing into a corner as Pen approached it. Its wings stretched out as if to reveal the chains across them.

There were none. 

In fact, it was so free, that Hyde was convinced there would be nothing stopping it from gaining its freedom lest it chose not to be free. 

This feels too familiar… Hyde narrowed her eyes. It wants something. Safety, perhaps. She laughed to herself. I can give safety… with a price. 

Pen looked just as perplexed as the rest of the party. “How would I do that?” 

“Please, come closer and grant your hands to me, so I may free these chains from my body and reassure your heart as the honored one…” 

Deceit. Hyde recognized it immediately; she used it too much herself to not see it immediately. The abnormality was hiding something. 

However, the White Lake’s words were convincing. Something tugged on Hyde’s curiosity, and Hyde often followed it to get a new wave of inspiration for her art. What is it that you want? 

“That sounds like a threat,” Lenore observed, readying her weapon. Like Hyde, she picked up on its lies immediately. 

Pen took more steps toward the abnormality, which caused it to shrink back, hiding away from Pen. Its eyes were wide with fear, and the abnormality turned its gaze to Hyde. 

Something leaped inside Hyde when the abnormality locked its gaze upon her. Its attention was addicting, alluring even. Its wings fluttered in front of Hyde, not removing its gaze. It pleaded to Hyde’s soul, begging her to help it. 

Hmm… alright, I will take part in your little game, Hyde stared it down with equal force. Then when your lies are revealed, I shall punish you accordingly. 

Pen noticed The White Lake’s attention fled from him, and he didn’t seem happy about it. “Why couldn’t you go to me…?”

“Why can’t you come and free me from my chains, with that gentle heart of yours?” The swan called out to Hyde, its aura tugging on Hyde’s soul. 

Haah… Hyde smiled with pride. So my illusion is working. Gentle heart my a–

“So what now?” Pen had walked fully up to the abnormality, trying to grab its attention once more. 

The swan responded, flapping its wings gently to the sound of a heartbeat. “As much as I appreciate your help, you are far too weak… unlike her.” The Swan gestured to Hyde once more, its eyes once more pleading for help. “I need her stronger help.” 

“Madam,” Jatayu shot his stare at Hyde. “I think it wants our strongest warrior!” 

My help comes with consequences. Hyde raised an eyebrow at the abnormality. Your attention is addicting, sure, and I’d be delighted to assist you… at the cost of your blood. 

Pride surged through her veins as she was called the strongest warrior amongst her peers. She knew the abnormality was lying somehow; its words were coy and purposely misleading. The White Lake knew it was not trapped, but used that analogy to tug on the empathy of those around it. 

But the abnormality was not the only one coy with words. Hyde knew how to perfectly manipulate people who tried the same tactics as the abnormality. They always played the victim, attention-seeking card, and Hyde would give them what they desired, but at a cost. It always benefitted her, and surely fooling the abnormality wouldn’t be so different. 

Lenore glanced over at Hyde, who was doing a million calculations in her head. The look was very much communicating ‘So we beat this thing up?’ 

Hyde returned her superior with a smirk and a nod, hoping Lenore would catch her meaningful stare behind it. Let’s play with it, I am curious to see what game it wants to play~

Pen didn’t let up on trying to get answers from the swan. “Are you in chains?” He asked, trying to find what the White Lake was so stressed about. 

The swan wasn’t pleased with the question and responded with frustration. “I’m stuck in this accursed chamber! These chains weigh me down!” Its eyes narrowed toward Pen. “How could you ever be so mean to me?! We are not the same, can’t you see? You are gliding around freely, and I’m trapped in this terrible, terrible place!” 

“I am trapped too,” Pen reassured, reaching out his hands to calm it down. “I cannot see your chains, and you cannot see mine.” 

The swan didn’t believe him, nor did most of the party. It backed away from Pen once more in horror. “How can you say such things! You’re a monster, wishing to destroy me! Someone help me!” 

Its pleas didn’t necessarily make sense, but was there much else to be expected from a monster? The longer Pen took, the longer they would be standing here, unable to play its little game. She gave a knowing glare at Lenore, wanting to wrap this up. 

“Well,” Lenore began, calling out to Pen. “You gave it a good choice, and you did your best,” she sighed. “We should do our job and suppress it.” 

Wait hold on– now? Disappointment filled her eyes. I wanted to play its game and backstab it… She glanced back at the abnormality, who was staring right back at her again. Hyde peered into its soul if it even had one. She knew the abnormality had chosen her for… something. It was because she was the most graceful, the strongest arguably. Most importantly, though, Hyde did not have as many walls up around her intentions as the others did. Hyde was a clear book, and the abnormality saw that. Being the least fortitude of the others gave her some advantage, but Hyde didn’t know what it was, exactly. 

As Pen recollected himself and joined with the rest of the group, Hyde strolled over to the abnormality, not breaking away from its gaze. Time to play, how wonderful. “What is it that you want, my dear?” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft and quiet, giving a false sense of comfort. 

The White Lake flew down from its hiding place, lowering itself to be a little bit above Hyde’s eye level. It leaned towards her and the wings slowly flapped its wings next to Hyde’s shoulders, enveloping her. “Won’t you please break the chains that wrap around my body? Come closer so I may feel your strong hands helping me.” 

Hyde clicked her tongue; the abnormality sure knew how to stroke her ego. “I shall, what is in it for me?” She whispered with a gleam in her eye. 

“My most favored one,” the swan was pleased, drawing closer. 

Hyde reached out her hands to the abnormality, resting her bloodied hands on its shoulders. Holy– it's so soft…

“Hyde, wait!” She heard Lenore’s cry of concern. 

“Madam, don’t listen to it! It means to deceive you!” Jatayu added. “The One Who Shall Grip, Get away from that thing!” 

The swan curls its wings around Hyde, resting its soft feathers along its back. “May you please break the chains around my shoulders as I keep you in this close embrace… So you shall not falter.” 

The wings push on Hyde’s back, drawing Hyde into a close embrace as Hyde’s hands wrap around the abnormality’s neck, closing her eyes. 

Without warning, something inside Hyde’s soul snapped. Hyde’s eyes fling open as many tears start rushing down her eyes and her face. The embrace forced a memory upfront, and the hug from the soft abnormality triggered an emotion Hyde hadn’t felt in a very, very long time. 

M-Mom?!

The last thing she heard before her vision blurred was Mallo bursting into the room. “Jekyll! Hyde! Stop!” 

To Hyde’s dismay, the embrace from the abnormality ended, and the swan swarmed around her, chanting with delight. “My, my wonderful swan knight has come to save me! These terrible people have come to drag me out of my home! Would you please protect me?” 

Its wings fluttered over Hyde once more before it flew up into the air, leaving Hyde baffled at how quickly her outfit changed. 

Water suddenly rushed into the room and soft music began to play; a song that represented the swan’s likeness. It rested on the water behind Hyde, staring fearfully at the party in front of them. 

A silver crown decorated with intricate leaves rested on Hyde’s head, and her ax was accompanied by a pink, rose-colored sword that slid out of her wrists and into her free hand painlessly. Hyde’s mouth was sown shut, and became nothing but three, gaping and slitted holes instead of her lips. Her cape turned into a silver-white color, made of the same feathers from the swan’s chest. 

Hyde had become its puppet. 

The hell? Hyde’s mind raced, looking at her new gear. How do you expect me to fight in this? She felt the holes in her face that replaced her mouth, her body shaking from the transformation and the memory brought before her. 

“I can’t believe I’m being attacked by these brutal people, I just wanted to live here peacefully!” The swan did not let up on its pleading, deceitful tone. “Please, attack the one with the strange machinery all over him!” 

Hyde’s gaze snapped toward Pen against her will, lunging for him. However, the pink sword forced its use upon Pen rather than Hyde using her ax, causing her speed to be detrimental and prohibiting her from attacking with full force. She wasn’t sure if she was relieved from not hitting her former ally or frustrated that she didn’t land a hit. She tried using her ax, swinging it at Pen’s head, but the sword also swung itself at Pen. 

Pen managed to evade three of her attacks, sliding to the side after Hyde regained her composure, before being forced back to the swan’s side. The ax failed to hit him. 

I… I never miss, what? Hyde’s eyes darted from side to side, cursing at the pink sword as her free fingers gripped her new clothing. That… that embrace… She wanted to cry out, but it was no use. What the hell was that embrace… what did it do to me? 

“How dare you force the One Who Shall Grip’s hand against us?!” Jatayu shouted, raising his hammer. “You shall pay for this!” 

“No!” Lenore stopped him, putting her hand out in front of him. “The swan is not the main threat right now, we must take Hyde down! Attack her instead!” 

Hyde’s face flattened. Seriously? 

“Yes, my knight in shining armor, save me from these beasts!” The swan agreed with Lenore, a devilish smile creeping upon its face. 

Jatayu didn’t hesitate after Lenore’s command, lunging for Hyde and hitting her with his hammer split across the shoulder holding the pink sword. Hyde tried to move out of the way but was caught by the heavier cape weighing her back down. 

The puppet spotted Mallo, rage fueling in her eyes as she joined the line of sinners. Her gaze was fixed on the abnormality and refused to take a step towards Hyde. She lunged for the swan, driving her stave into its wing, forcing it to bleed. 

Hyde glanced over at the attack. So its blood is white… perfect. She tried to adjust her shoulders. Hey, Swan Lady, let me fight normally and I could probably serve you better, This weapon and cape are impractical. 

The Swan only looked back at Hyde with the same, pitiful glance. “Why would you hurt someone as trapped and as innocent as me? My shining knight, protect me from this foul creature!” 

Hyde stared at Mallo involuntarily, unable to control her body. Rage seized her heart against the abnormality. You bastard–

“Foul creature?” Mallo mocked, taking a step back behind the allies readying their attacks. “Have you looked in the mirror?” 

“I am absolutely stunning, especially in this beautiful cave!” The abnormality zoomed across the water, showing off its wings as they bled. “I can see you’re envious of me in your eyes!” 

“Envious?” Mallo laughed again. “Of you? You must be mad, I’m not envious of a monster!” She swung her blade again at the swan. She missed. 

“You have a face that not even a mother could love, something a child would wish to hide away from!” The White Lake scoffed, hiding behind Hyde once more. “How disgusting and vile!” 

Mallo’s gaze snapped, shattering from disgust to rage. What the abnormality said struck a nerve in Mallo’s mind. 

Like how the abnormalities’ embrace struck a nerve for Hyde. 

Hyde readied her weapon again, but the sword forced her hand upward, demanding that it be used. If you want me to fight for you, let me do my thing! I can easily kill them if you don’t get in the way! She hissed at the sword, trying to put it down, but pain ceased her mouth and the sword forced itself to be the primary weapon. 

The swan curled behind Hyde once more, its soft wings resting on Hyde’s shoulders. 

Hyde flinched, that same warmth striking the nerve again. Don’t… she forced the wings off of her shoulders. Don’t touch me. 

“I can’t believe these things are attacking me in my cage! My glorious knight in shining armor, won’t you attack the knight with the large hammer?” The swan pleaded for its life, its victim-like state getting on Hyde’s nerves. 

Jatayu. Hyde stared daggers into Jatayu’s soul, readying the sword unwillingly. Let’s see what you’re made of, boy. 

To the puppet’s surprise, Jatayu set his hammer on the ground, his arms outstretched peacefully. “My dear friend, my companion that I inspire to be and look up to,” Jatayu’s voice lowered. “I wish to not bring any harm to you. If there is any humanity left within you, please do not listen to that creature!” 

The sword was set on attacking Jatayu, but Hyde refused to support it. I have no humanity left, idiot. But I refuse to be controlled like this. 

The pink sword forced its way to attack Jatayu, but Hyde resisted, prohibiting its attack as Jatayu evaded. Hyde sighed in relief, glad that he wasn’t hit before the sword lunged at Mallo, striking her arm with a second attack. Mallo quickly picked up on the threat and dodged the third attack. 

Hyde slammed the pink sword into the ground, catching her breath as she tried to stand her ground. She caught Mallo’s stare as their eyes met. 

At least Jekyll doesn’t have to see me hurting you, moron. Hyde wasn’t able to speak to her, but she hoped the gaze would be enough. 

Mallo nodded her head gently, her gaze saddened by the sight of Hyde’s transformation. “I’m sorry.” 

The pink sword forced Hyde back to the swan’s side. Their attacks on her and the swan became a blur. The nerve that the swan sliced forced the memory up once more, and Hyde’s voice became shaky. She felt her sanity depleting by the second. That stupid embrace… it… it should not have felt that familiar… Hyde sunk to her knees, feeling various wounds forming on her body. What the hell am I doing? I shouldn’t be attacking my team. I might be a bastard… Her fists clenched. But I’m not a scum like Mark. 

A bright flash of light blinded the room, coming from Pen’s harpoon. Jatayu and Mallo lunge for the swan, tearing at its wings and forcing its white blood to trickle into the water. The White Lake yelped in pain, begging the white knight to come and save her. 

But her plea fell on deaf ears; Hyde stared at the ground, sinking into her spot in the water. Her mind went back to the swan’s embrace… it was too familiar. 

You never were the victim… until I made you one, Mom… 

I’m… I’m so sorry… I’m so… so sorry… 

Hyde stared at her hands through her tears and tilted her head as a cherry blossom popped out from one of her fingers. Another popped out of the palm of her hand. It was painless, but soon more and more cherry blossoms covered Hyde’s body, her arms and legs turning into branches, and her hair covered in the soft, pink flowers. 

I wanted to color in my life… Hyde’s mind started going on a tangent. So I separated myself to do so… you were the last shade of red I needed… 

She stood, pink pedals falling from her very being as she turned to the White Lake, her arm – now a branch – stretched up. 

I wanted to have a beautiful life… and that couldn’t happen without the key ingredient. My suffering… had to be required for the paintings… 

The Swan rested on the top of the water, dipping its wing into the waves. It glanced at Hyde with the same horrific look. “My knight, won’t you please–” 

“No,” Hyde felt the cherry blossom EGO corrode within her. The more blood she saw on the battlefield, the more pink flowers formed on her chest. The cherry blossoms weaved their way around Hyde’s outstretched branch. Her eyes stared daggers into the Swan, turning against it. 

She would not be commanded by anyone. She alone determined her actions. 

The environment temporarily changed, showing a cherry blossom forest to all the parties and Hyde. Her voice was barely a whisper as her body transformed into the cherry blossom tree. “You forgot the key ingredient to let the flowers prosper…” She muttered, raising her hand to the sky as it turned into a cherry blossom. Her voice and hands shook, and she barely whispered the last word. “...blood.” 

Hyde slammed her fist into the water, sending waves of branches toward the swan. The branches bound her wings as many sharp cherry blossoms fell onto her, slicing every part of her feathery guard. The ground shook from the rumbling, and the sweet scent of the blossom tree filled the room as the water washed away the sharp petals. 

No beauty was made without sacrifice; it was scary how much that EGO concept resonated with Hyde. It served her well in battle and cured Hyde’s mind after it was done harming the swan. 

The White Lake shook in fear, its voice cracking. “How dare you attack me?!” It cried, crawling into a corner. “You’re an imposter, a defiled witch!” 

Hyde grabbed her ax, snapping out of the EGO corrosion. Huh, so that’s what an abnormality EGO is like, how thrilling. She gathered herself and returned to Lenore’s side, processing what the White Lake said. Yeah, that sounds about right. I’ve been called worse. 

The swan locked her gaze onto Mallo. “I need someone to protect me, I shall embrace you like a child that never felt the warmth of a mother!” 

Hyde couldn’t tell whether or not she or Mallo shuddered more from that wording. However, it proved difficult for Hyde to regain her focus as the rest of her party attacked the swan head-on. By the time she snapped back into battle, recovering from her stagger, she witnessed Jatayu using a fancy EGO of his own. 

The world once more shifted to a different environment; this time it was a black forest. Jatayu stood amid the dark trees, facing the White Lake with a white outfit on top of him. A large, red spot radiated from his chest as he readied himself to attack. “Every crime must be punished!” The red spot turned into a beak in the middle of his body. “No matter how small my beak is, I shall find you!” 

Bam! The beak flung itself at the swan, pinching its wing base and snipping the bone. Hyde heard many cracks in the White Lake’s wing by the time the EGO finished, and the abnormality cried out in pain. 

However, it stopped its cry midway through, as if it was fake all along. The swan lunged for Mallo, flying around her. 

Mallo dodged the initial attack. “You missed–”  

But the swan wasn’t done. “Did you really think you could evade my swan knighthood?” It cooed, a coy grin on its face. 

The same silver crown, cape, and pink sword suddenly slid out of Mallo’s body. She tried to scream but was cut off promptly by the holes replacing her lips. As the White Lake retreated to the back of the flooded room, she was forced to follow. 

“Seriously, woman?” Pen grunted in frustration, having just given Mallo a shield. 

The White Lake knew what it was doing; “My precious knight, come to my aid and protect me from these barbarians!” 

Mallo started to charge towards Hyde, but Hyde was faster. She dodged Mallo and went straight to the swan, the crazed Nagul Und Hammer look in her eyes. 

The swan saw her approaching. “You wouldn’t hurt me, my dear, would you?” 

The wicked smirk couldn’t be wiped from Hyde’s face as she jumped and shredded the swan’s wing. “Our little game is over, now it’s time for your punishment.” She landed in the water and jumped again, completely breaking the wing off the Swan’s body. “Your lies come with a price!” 

The swan fell into the water, a look of true fear in her eyes as she stared at Hyde and cried out to the knight for help. 

Ahh, that’s what it’s like to have a good attack, Hyde stood over the swan, pride fueling her bloodthirsty urge. Could’ve fought like that for you if you had not controlled me, idiot. 

Hyde grabbed the swan’s neck, the softness of the feathers not bothering her anymore. She threw the swan over to Lenore’s target point, who proceeded to start to tear up the other wing, forcing it to bleed. 

Her focus shifted away from Lenore immediately as Mallo cut through the water like a knife and flung herself at Hyde. The pink sword clashed with Hyde’s ax, and she continued to block many hits Mallo tried landing. 

“Looks like you were truly never sorry,” Hyde sighed, her guard finally breaking. “See you on the other side, pal…” 

Mallo’s stare was cold like ice. There was no care in her eyes as she lashed out her blade across Hyde’s body. Blood dripped and stained Hyde’s white clothes as she fell into the water. She knew Mallo wasn’t thinking right, but couldn’t help hold rage against her as she looked down upon her, as if she was better. Hyde watched Mallo raise the pink sword. Should’ve… never trusted her. This is your fault, Jekyll. 

The impact of the sword through Hyde’s skull was to her surprise, painless. The water that covered her body burned on her skin. Her vision was cut, and everything went black. 

[kiichxko]

UNLOCK IT!

Bllk boys playing genshin!

Warnings: some quest spoilers for genshin

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ISAGI YOICHI (潔 世一)

He's the very rare traveler main! Specifically aether

Mainly uses electro or dendro aether for the elemental reactions

He doesn't understand why people don't use traveler a lot, he thinks being able to switch elements at will is very useful and versatile

SUCKS at dodging, he literally depends on his zhongli's shield to keep him alive

Speaking of zhongli, he lost his 50/50 to keqing on his banner, homeboy later spent hours grinding for primos, he deadass refuses to whale at all

He also might have sacrificed keqing at qingyun peak multiple times

Luckily, the peepaw came home after 30 more pulls

He's pretty netural when it comes to co-op, so long as you don't take his materials without permission (bachira is an exception)

He LOVES the new TCG event, he's got all the character cards and won nearly every single match in a span of a week

He also does co-op challenges with the others, they range from waverider races to stuff like "who dies first while fighting _____" competitions or "beat azdaha without a shield or healing" challenge

Bachira came up with the last one specifically for him

Low key hates fighting the cryo cube, the fruits you gotta hit to break the shield are a pain in the ass (i'm not self-projecting here i swear)

BACHIRA MEGURU (蜂楽 廻)

A hutao and yoimiya main!

He enjoys looking at yoimiya's idle animations and spams her normal attacks just so he could see her do those little flips

Probably learned hu tao's dance and song by heart so every now and then while playing he'll go:

“大丘丘病了，二丘丘瞧～”

“三丘丘采药，四丘丘熬～”

He plays in CN dub but with JP subtitles

Still messes up a little on the pinyin pronouncination but he's trying

He also relates to hu tao since they were both considered weirdos by everyone (bachira's hu tao kinnie era guys)

Has considered cosplaying a character before

Loves exploring! Has every area at 100% exploration rate and all statues at level 10 somehow??

Always forgets that he's a pyro main and that grass exists so he basically almost dies standing on burning grass (can someone please get him a healer or a shield.)

Trolls other people in co-op by doing shit like the "disco disco party party" thing or using jean to yeet people

But other than that, he's actually very helpful with exploring and finding chests

Also steals materials from isagi

Sometimes forgets how to glide and ends up dying from fall damage (me too bachira me too)

CHIGIRI HYOMA (千切 豹馬)

Ningguang main chigiri ningguang main chigiri ningguang main chigiri-

He first got her on the beginner's banner she's been on his team ever since, definitely has her c6

You can't tell me that he wouldn't decorate his teapot bc he WOULD

And it's decorated so nicely too, he's even got a whole area dedicated to the animals he caught

Started playing after bachira said the landscapes were pretty but then he got invested into the lore (he watches those genshin theory videos too)

Enjoys taking photos of the landscapes and his characters, he once accidentally clicked on his diluc's skill while taking a photo and proceeded to laugh at how cursed it looked

Doesn't like solving the puzzles in inazuma and enkanomiya tho so he just google searches the solutions

Randomly makes cracked theories about khaen'riah, it happens so often no one can tell if he's being serious or not

Absolutely hates paimon's voice, he'll throw off his headphones whenever paimon starts talking and go "stfu paimon" like calm down

HATES the spectors with all his heart

He also likes collecting items in the open world, has over 2k of each of them

Might have spent a bit of money on welkin but that's as far as he'll go

Idk why but he strikes me as the type to mainly use bow or catalyst users bc of the range

Is very good at aiming and dodging, has laughed at isagi struggling while they were fighting azdaha

KUNIGAMI RENSUKE (國神 錬介)

The man somehow got a qiqi on the beginner's banner, he read her backstory, felt bad, and decided to main her

And no, his qiqi is not a healer or support, she's a full blown physical DPS

And her build is no joke either, he once made her do 200k damage while fighting the new scaramouche boss like kunigami wtf are you feeding her??

If there's a boss you can't beat, just call him to co-op and his zombie child will carry

Is another lore invester

Chigiri once sent him a video explaining enkanomiya lore and they later spent hours discussing about it

Got emotional at the tsurumi island and kazari quest, maybe at the dainsleif chasm quest too

Also levels up all his character's friendship to 10 to get their name cards

Has read all of his character's stories out of boredom

Completed ALL of his world quests, doesn't skip the dialogue in case he misses something important

Does hangout quests, beidou was his favourite one

Can never see hilichurls the same anymore after the chasm archon quest, all this time he's been killing cursed, innocent people? He feels so guilty

His luck when it comes to the gacha is literally phenomenal, the guy has never lost a 50/50 in his life

He's very skilled at controling his waverider and comes out at the top during waverider races

He's also good in fishing too, he manages to always stay within the moving bar

He plays spiral abyss often and would have 36 stars if it weren't for the last few floors being such a pain in the ass

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[ryan-nugenthopkins]

speak to me about these wips of yours. i've never heard of any of them before and i am simply so very curious

I love you so much Julian mwah

I will not talk about the funny gamer men on here but uh catboy fic (ie My Teammate Turned into a Cat?!) started as "what if Draisaitl turned into a cat sometimes" and has quickly turned into "hey what would the PR and hockey ops response be to a player literally turning into a cat" and also "hey what's the horror of people changing in ways that are unknowable to you" so it's going well! The horrors of bureaucracy, mostly.

Nonetheless here's a TikTok/IG Reel I thought one of the content producers would make as a sick joke a few weeks into the curse manifesting:

The players are walking back to the locker room, still in gear, presumably after a practice. A text caption reading, “If you could be any animal, what animal would you be?” is displayed on the screen as the video rapidly cuts to the players responding, either off the ice or in the locker room.

McLeod grins, looks at the person holding up the phone camera.

“Uh, definitely a dog.”

Nugent-Hopkins looks mildly taken aback but is smiling.

“I’m not sure, actually. Maybe a wolf?”

Someone calls out something unintelligible from off camera. The camera spins and zooms in to catch Hyman laughing.

“I’m not a horse, you —”

Hyman looks thoughtful and affable, as if giving the question serious thought.

“I think I’d be a dog. A Golden Retriever, maybe? They’re pretty smart and loyal.”

Kulak looks mildly amused.

“Some type of dog.”

Holloway laughs loudly.

“I think being a dog would be great.”

Desharnais shrugs, before turning to someone off camera.

“A bear? A bear’s cool, right?”

The response is muffled, but Desharnais laughs anyway and faces the camera again.

“Stu says moose. I’ll go with that.”

Skinner smiles politely at the camera.

“I think I’d like to be a cat. They seem pretty smart and quick.”

McDavid lets out a little media chuckle and runs a hand through his hair.

“Uh… I don’t know. Probably a dog. … What breed? I’m not sure. Maybe I’d just look like Lenny, or something.”

Draisaitl stares at the camera, stone-faced. After a couple of seconds he grits out —

“A cat. I guess.”

--

Bouch/Clouder Academia AU is basically omg they were roommates doing graduate degrees. It's part of a much broader alternate universe where basically any NHL player that is funny to me is now an academic. I have read so many papers on topics that are not relevant to my own field of study.

Bouch is studying sports medicine as an MSc. He's looking at resiliency and recovery in professional sports and aims to be a physiotherapist after he graduates. He was set to go pro but had a spree of injuries and rough accidents on the ice before and during his stint in the OHL and his drafting prospects plummeted.

Clouder's a PoliSci/Media Studies MA studying how nationalistic narratives are built through sports coverage. He's the only one of three sons that is not playing pro hockey and he has no problems because of it at all :) He's still figuring out what he wants to do with his life.

The fic is mostly following them in their first year at their local university and how they navigate each other and the hockey-related problems they're both dealing with. It went shippy/slowburn "mostly" by accident, but whatever. They'll figure it out eventually. Here's a random snippet:

The holidays seem to have started a pattern. Not enough to be a constant, but enough to know it’s always there, a safety net in the back of his mind. Some days, Ryan will hang up from a family call the day after an impressive game from Michael and there’s a case study that needs to be proofread, immediately; some days, Evan’s gritting his teeth going down the stairwell and it’s easy to duck under his arm, take some pressure off his knee. A scar for a story, one regret for another.

Back and forth, like a passing drill.

It’s not weird, or gay, or whatever bullshit Jungian term Stu is now using for their friendship just because he got caught asking D.R. about painkiller interactions once. It’s open — there’s a comfort there, a familiarity that settles somewhere near Ryan’s sternum and makes it easier to breathe. That’s normal, probably, for a friendship. Quiet reciprocity, which might be the crux of the problem, a fear that he can’t properly describe.

He appreciates those moments where Evan feels comfortable enough to share, to trust in him. Some are easier, a memory of unlucky circumstance with a speedy return. Others — the larger ones, usually, or complications that took him off the ice for months at a time — make it seem like he’d rather pull out his own fingernail than tell. But he does so anyway, stilted and hesitant, and something cold slides down Ryan’s spine every time.

It takes a few more weeks for him to name that feeling guilt, but it’s the closest he’s probably going to get.

[windypuddle]

plEASE explain the lasertag shuffle unit. pkease plase please please

they play lasertag. this post brought to you by a guy who cries when the lasertag isnt team version. anyway i will now attempt to type out the four paragraphs i had last time that safari absolutely sniped.

lots of headcanon ahead!

lasertag was one of the first shuffle units i came up with. like. its just so fun. the aesthetics are cool the game is cool what more could you want. i think for this they split into two teams so its red team (nagisa and chiaki) vs yellow team (sora, makoto, tori) (i would make it green team but this is NOT a christmas one). which also happens to be seniors vs juniors.

alright. i know theyre all idols and have decent physical abilities. but makoto is a noodle armed gamer boy. to me. he has good reflexes but hes not very good at aiming and his arms get tired. he's probably pretty good at the strategy part though

sora is a gamer but hes also just a little guy that runs around everywhere. he spins at every available opportunity in mvs. he probably does backflips for fun in the middle of conversations. half the time when he shoots someone he's hanging upside down from the equipment by his knees, despite multiple times being told not to climb on the arena structures. hahihuheho echoes eerily through the arena. he wins by a lot. sora would be the gacha 5 star

tori is so funny in this. hes just a little kid. he has never played video games in his life. he thinks lasertag is a game for plebeians. he complains about the team uniform clashing with his hair (it doesnt). it takes him five minutes to figure out how the lasergun works and then his confidence skyrockets. hes alright at it but hes So confident he won. (sora got like 3x as many points. tori came in fourth)

chiaki is good at the physical aspect of the game, obviously. but. well i love him but hes too loud and too much of a good sport. he keeps letting the kids shoot him and laughing way too loud and immediately getting taken out. he comes in last but he has fun the whole time and thats what counts <3

nagisa. no one expects nagisa. hes the event 5 star. hes surprisingly good at laser tag. no one saw this coming. hes analytical and quiet and smart about it, with just the right amount of dramatic flair. he comes in second and tori nearly screams. hes probably never played lasertag before. he makes a comment about the lasertag vest being uncomfortable and thats how this team finds out about nagisa being afab pre-op nonbinary. just for that this is probably the like. 3rd queerest shuffle unit on this list (number one will shock you!! not clickbait)

anyway theres definitely a bit in the story where tori scrapes his knee and chiaki patches him up and gives him a pep talk. and then tori attempts to kick everyones ass at lasertag.

[adultswim2021]

The Venture Bros. #33: “The Buddy System” | June 29, 2008 - 11:30PM | S03E05

The Buddy System! Sorta a normal episode! World-building is ever present in the Venture-verse, though, so we get at least a few firsts. (cool voice) Let’s dive in… shall we?

Dr. Venture launches a chintzy “Daycamp for Boy Adventurers”. Everyone on or near the compound has crappy informational booths, and Doc can sell photo ops and Rusty Venture merch. Lots of stuff happens, but despite that, there’s not a ton of story. It’s more of a collection of fun scenes and looming threats of story. For example: The Monarch is monitoring the festivities using the Moppets. His scenes exist mostly for laughs, and also to introduce Dr. Mrs. the Monarch’s new sexy costume. As noted in the commentary by Doc Hammer, it was nice seeing this costume at conventions. Seriously, when I used to go to conventions, there were so many hot Venture Bros. cosplayers. I sat next to a very beautiful Lady Au pair once, who had little baby dolls that she’d turned into the Moppets. I was too scared to talk to her. Shoulda asked for a photo.

I’m not sure if you can tell this, but I am having a hard time making this write-up come together. I guess what I'm trying to say is It’s a fine episode, and worth watching, but the middle stretch of season three is not my favorite of the series. I’m much more excited about season four. Damn. I wish this was season four right now. I am also high, and not really in the mood for this. I am in a big “organize stuff’ mood right now instead of a writing mood. I am pulling out some boxes of stuff and trying to find new places for them. Trying to make it so only best VHS tapes are out, and the bad ones are in storage. In other words, the shit that makes life worth living. 

This episode is also the debut of Dermott Fictel, a bad kid who befriends Hank. He uses sass mouth on Brock and it twists him up because he can’t touch Dermott; he’s just a kid. It’s also sorta implied that maybe he intuited some kind of familial bond with the boy. At the end of the episode, Dermott gets picked up by his mom and they briefly exchange dialogue that indicates that she brought the boy there to meet his real father (unbeknownst to said father). At the end we see a nice photo of them together after the ordeal they go through. The ordeal they go through is this: Brock tries to train Dean to fight Dermott but he doesn’t wanna. But then Dermott embarrasses Dean in front of Triana and also says nasty stuff to her, so Dean basically re-enacts the scene where Ralphie beats the shit out of Scott Farkus in A Christmas Story, which is a great movie, alright? 

There is a notable scene which functions as a cliff-hangery act-break: Dr. Venture takes kids into an old training facility that had been abandoned and through some mysterious, possibly super-sciencey reason, the inside of it has become a bio-diverse jungle filled with dangerous wild Gorillas. I mention this scene because I want to discuss how badly edited it is on the blu-ray; they did the thing where they tried to diminish the effects of it being an act break by making it so it doesn’t fade-out or in. This edit jumps out to me, it feels like a fan-edit or something. 

This scene has one of the funnier references and one of the darkest jokes of the series. The group of children lead by Dr. Venture and Billy Quizboy are immediately confronted with a terrifying and aggressive gorilla, and Rusty tries to do Ko-Ko talk to it. Ko-Ko was a famous, highly intelligent sign-language-doing Gorilla that had a children’s book published called Ko-Ko’s Kitten. I am of an age to have owned such a book, which was fairly ubiquitous when it was published. Before I saw this episode, I had read a transcript of an AIM chat Ko-Ko did via an interpreter, and Ko-Ko would intermittently use the words “lip” and “nipple” randomly throughout her Denis-Miller style rants. They do a riff on that here, but they soft-peddle the amount of times she typically said “nipple” in a sentence.

The dark joke is that Billy gets locked in the dome, and when he comes out his metal arm is torn asunder and he’s clutching a child’s shoe. He reports that he saw Ko-Ko Bone Tomahawk a child in there. Dr. Venture makes off with the shoe. At the end of the episode, the boy’s parents show up to collect him and Dr. Venture gives them a clone slug, apparently a quickie clone job he performed to make it up to them. When they walk away, slightly puzzled, Venture makes a point to say that the original kid’s DNA was a “walking time bomb for cancer” and that he “cleared that all up”.

It’s sorta enough to have him just be trying to protect his hide, but the cancer bit is a little bit of a softening of the character. In season one he straight up admits to having sacrificed an orphan to power his masturbation holodeck machine, But, I don’t blame the show for just pushing past that joke anyway. I’m sure if there was a letters section at the end of this show they’d address this letter by removing that joke from canon.

The cloned kid scene is a bit of a happy ending to the traditional bit of gallows humor surrounding camp. Like, remember how you’d sing self-deprecating camp songs and there’d always be comical exaggerations that involved the death of a fellow camper in the lyrics? Like the food’s so bad here that it murdered a kid who tried to eat it, haha! Those songs usually fail to thoughtfully address the parents of that child who would spend years mourning him (or her! mustn't be sexist!).

Also a thing I wanted to say about this scene; this episode's ending includes a montage of photos of the event, and there's a brief photo of the triad levitating a wheelchair kid. For a moment I thought it was actually the apparition of the dead boy, and that he died because of his lack of mobility, which is VERY funny, and VERY dark (except for the whole thing of ghosts being real, life after death, etc). I figured out that this is probably not the joke. It's probably just that if you could levitate people, you'd probably go out of your way to levitate wheelchair kids. They would love it so much.

What else? Oh, I didn’t do a sweep of the wiki for this episode, which is usually what i do to make sure that I can steal valor knowing a cultural reference that I didn’t actually get. There is what seems like a very specific Jonny Quest reference in this and the commentary basically confirms that. Oh yeah, there’s more Jonny Quest connectivity in this one. You better believe it.

That reminds me: I was supposed to do a thing where I was going to watch all the episodes of Jonny Quest before watching Venture Bros, but I never did. I thought maybe I’d at least weave a few episodes in here and there, as to not miss vital specific references to specific episodes. Sorry!

Another thing from the commentary that I thought was great was that the opening sequence, which is a commercial for the Daycamp, is a parody of an actual local ad for an actual local day camp. Where? I don’t know. But it’s a talking balloon instead of a talking lightbulb. I bet it’s this There are scrolling photos of children that are actual childhood photos of Jackson and Doc as boys, but they had to edit some of the kids out because they couldn’t find the person to ask for permission. 

Hey, I’m not sure people like when I do this, but I’m doing it anyway. I remember I was hanging out with my best friend Andrew when this episode came on, and I was planning to go home and watch it at 11:30PM, even claiming to have a hard out around 11 so I could make it home with plenty of time to spare. It is roughly 8:35PM, and Andrew turns on the TV and it’s playing. He has Direct TV and I didn’t realize that meant he got the east coast feed of Cartoon Network.

I see that the DVR is actually recording it, which means he could hit rewind and we could just watch it from the beginning. He goes “oh, cool. We can just watch it now!”  and he just keeps letting it play, all 5 minutes behind. I say “What’s fucking wrong with you, start it from the beginning!” and he groaned and rolled his eyes in a very exaggerated way, like he was being put out, and he literally pushed a single button and it started at the start. A very funny man!! That is my friend!

[aggressive-almond-cookie]

I’ve been feeling a little weird lately and seeking comfort, so I decided to go replay splat2′s story mode.

I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this, maybe briefly, but I didn’t play much of splat2 when it was active. I played a little bit of 1 when it came out, enough to fall in love with the concept but also enough to know it was for people much more mechanically skilled than me (a person who favored slow-paced sim games, turn-based RPGs, and point-and-click grindfests). I watched my housemate play 2 a bit but I couldn’t justify the purchase myself for something I figured I would terrible at. (I remember watching them play salmon run, and asking ‘wow, there’s a PvM co-op mode now?’ and thinking for a moment that maybe that would be less intimidating to learn, and then I saw a steel eel for the first time which was HORRIFIC, then watched them get completely swamped with with bosses and wipe, and decided .. no maybe not).

It was Splat3′s testfire, that I just so happened to hear about happening in a friends discord server, that happened to hit me at exactly the right time. I finally had a better job, was well on my way to healing from the trauma of my 11 years of working retail, and going through a bit of an inner renaissance, particularly getting in touch (possibly for the first time as an adult) with the true concept of play, the idea that playing didn’t have to have high stakes, that you don’t play to get a good grade in playing, you can just play to have fun and experience the thrill of intense situations in a setting where no actual danger is present.

I fell in love so quickly. I played the testfire every moment that I could and felt like I was finally, finally getting to enjoy this. In retrospect I was so bad at it-- I could barely swim up walls and I couldn’t even figure out how to use my special for the first several hours of gameplay and after trying out tons of weapons found that I was having the most luck using rollers and running over people (lol). But my skill level, for once, was something I wasn’t giving a single brain cell to worry about. I was just enjoying myself, celebrating every tiny victory and laughing at how many times I would just run off the map because I had so little spatial awareness. I won a 100x, I experienced my first squidparty, I did tricolors on attacking and felt intensely bonded with the random strangers I got partnered with. I was experiencing so many wonderful new things all at once and was absolutely euphoric.

And once the testfire was over, the emptiness it left behind left me so restless I thought I might start climbing walls. So to tide me over between then and release, I borrowed my housemate’s copy of splat2, figuring I could at least attempt story mode and learn the basics.

It was hard. Like really, really hard. I don’t... play these kinds of games. I could barely control where I was walking, I absolutely could not aim, I had zero confidence in jumping and missed even easy jumps routinely. I made it through by sheer stubbornness and force of will, running over and over through the same levels until I got lucky enough to get through them. Many levels I finished with a time of over half an hour, one at least 40 minutes, and that’s after lord knows how many failures. The last two kettles in the last zone nearly broke me. I actually cried tears of relief when I finally finished Platform Madhouse, shaking from the tension of making my final moves with the greatest precision and calculation that my clumsy and inexperienced hands could.

But... I did it, you know? And in doing so, I managed to prove to myself that I could do it-- that these kinds of games actually weren’t impossible for me, and that maybe, maybe I could overcome whatever other challenges awaited me in 3 and beyond, too.

Anyway, that’s way too much backstory to say that going back through the splat2 levels again was something of both a surreal and comforting experience. I went through them all in the span of a day, during a workday even, just playing in short intervals during breaks and lunchtime. Those last two kettles (minus octavio) were still the most difficult, but they didn’t take more than a few tries. It was satisfying to gracefully sail through so many of the levels that I struggled so painfully with less than a year ago. I’d say my confidence in making jumps has absolutely improved the most and is the thing I think has had the greatest impact on my ability to navigate the game-world in general.

I’ve been finally playing octo expansion too. A bit late maybe, but I think I had just really overhyped the difficulty in my mind and intimidated myself out of it. As it turns out, the main story is still very accessible, even to lower skill levels. You don’t have to actually complete most of the levels (or even play them) and even the points you pay to play you can go into debt with, so there’s never any real danger. You can skip levels after failing them enough times, so I think the only way you can actually get stuck might be the final segments. Granted, I’m still putting off going to the P R O M I S E D   L A N D until I have a long stretch of time for it (This is the same reason I still haven’t done After Alterna >>.., I just.. don’t have the sheer continuous amount of time to sit down and grind it out. I wish I could save states in these games so I don’t have to lose progress if I need to task-switch), so I might take this back, but so far that’s my impression.

And it’s been really enjoyable. I was happy to find there’s a ‘Who Caused The Big Bang’-style level that takes seconds to complete to make it easy to farm points (I keep wanting to call them power eggs when they’re not, lol). The levels on average are definitely more challenging than Alterna, but there are certainly several that I’d consider less challenging than Those Aren’t Birds and Target Town, and there are even some that Alterna practically made copies of (the one where you cut a shape out of boxes, for example).

That said, there have only been a few levels that I might say I breezed through-- they’re pretty challenging, but they don’t feel un-doable, and it’s so satisfying when you do overcome the challenges. It’s giving me an honest confidence boost to watch myself successfully take out a octosniper (my most feared enemy in my early days) with a charger (probably the weapon class I am weakest in) while balancing on a rotating platform (which were my absolute worst nightmare my first time going through splat2′s story mode). There’s still several levels I have to clear and some I haven’t even unlocked, but since they’re not keeping me from finishing the main storyline, I feel like I can just complete them as I feel up to it and there’s no reason to rush or get frustrated.

I love the levels where you just... play anarchy modes against octolings. Especially the one where you play rainmaker on manta maria-- tetras is a weapon option for that one and it’s quickly becoming one of my comfort levels in addition to just being good practice for firing the rainmaker. And I just love the entire vibe of everything-- much like Alterna there’s so much to see if you stop and look around, so many childhood-items floating in the sky, mixed with the music that gives me those vaporwave-esque feelings of nostalgia mixed with melancholy mixed with a feeling that’s somehow equally comforting and unsettling. And all that woven into these... weirdly juxtaposed grimdark/horror elements expressed with clown-like lightheartedness. It’s just a masterpiece of a setting and I’m so so glad I got the nerve to play this.

Splat2 in general has just been kind of a fun thing to mess around in with friends when we feel like a change of pace. Sometimes we do salmon run which is kind of awful without egg throws or squid-rolls, but we’re so low-rank that it’s still just kind of a chill experience.

I wouldn’t say I’m on a break from Splat3 anarchy because I keep intending to play it, and I know I’ll have fun with it, but then I get set up and sit down to do it and end up playing octo expansion instead. I think I may have low-key intimidated myself out of getting back into anarchy since I fell out of practice when I was out of town again; it feels like it takes me so long to get back into the swing of it and I take my losses a bit harder than I should. I tell myself octo expansion is good practice, and that’s not entirely untrue, but deep down I do know that the only thing that’s going to get me over my hesitance to play anarchy is playing anarchy.

But I guess at least if I’m going to put off addressing something I’m intimidated by, I’m glad I’m doing so by addressing something else I was previously intimidated by.

I’m really looking forward to Side Order now, especially since now I have the confidence that I’ll actually get to enjoy it along with everyone else and not get bogged down or walled off by being unable to complete basic things. I just feel a lot more capable, and it’s nice.

[canmom]

this post has been getting a steady stream of reblogs for more than a week now. i don't really get it, does tumblr give you notifications for downstream reblogs even if you're not the OP now? if not, why are so many people reblogging it direct from me? so strange...

here's a couple more anno-cdotes though. (I'm not sorry).

when Daicon Film - a group of young otaku trying to make a short film to play at the beginning of their scifi convention - was first assembling, the organisers heard of a young prodigy animator from a local art college - Hideaki Anno. Yasuhiro Takeda met with Anno and his classmate Hiroyuki Yamaga at a scifi café called Solaris; the story goes that Anno drew an animation of a robot on napkins, blowing his mind. there's a dramatisation of this near the beginning of SteveM's astonishingly detailed retrospective of Anno:

(don't be misled by the title, that's just how he titles all his retrospective videos for some reason! it's actually very even-handed and positive lmao)

The sources I have differ a bit on what it was that Anno drew. In that clip (based on Notenki Memoirs by Yasuhiro Takeda) he's shown drawing a robot run cycle, but I've also heard that it was a transformation sequence, or a prototype of one of the scenes in the Daicon III film. In any case, Anno got involved in the project; the Daicon III film led to the incredibly technically ambitious Daicon IV film, and off the back of that, Daicon Film became Gainax.

anyway if you want more Anno scenes from Blue Blazes (based on an autobiographical manga whose author Kazuhiko Shimamoto went to school with Anno), here he is reacting to Hayao Miyazaki's animation:

and Zimmerit has a collection of Anno's drawings from this period.

Anno was apparently just as bombastic in real life as he is portrayed in this show. From here, Yoshiyuki Sadamoto talks about meeting Anno while he worked on Macross at Artland alongside Ichirō Itano:

Takekuma: At that time, he didn’t give off a sense that you could approach him very easily, right? Sadamoto: I didn’t approach him. Anno-san, he was always talking to himself in a loud voice. You could understand what he was saying even from far away. You would hear this loud voice from the other side of the hallway: “I’ve got it! The timing of Itano’s explosions-!” (laughing loudly) Sato: That’s the same as he is now. Sadamoto: He would say “I’ve got it!” and suddenly begin drawing, and go to (Shojo) Kawamori-san, or some other director - my own immediate [supervising] director was Fumihiko Takayama-san - he would go to Takayama-san and explain the drawing in minute detail, saying how many frames it should take, and how things were to be arranged, and how it would disappear. So, when, seeing his intensity, I wondered who he was, Mahiro Maeda told me “That’s Anno-san; he worked on Daicon III.” “Ah, I see,” I thought. “He loves to draw mecha.”

As impressive as the above scenes are, the most iconic Anno scenes have gotta be the God Warrior scene in Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind (1984)...

...and the rocket takeoff scene in Royal Space Force: The Wings of Honneamise (1987)...

which is unquestionably some of the most impressive mechanical animation ever drawn. (When Midori geeks out over the attention to detail need to 'act' something like a rocket launch in Eizouken, you can bet they had this sequence in mind.)

Anno went into direction in part because he felt he'd done everything he could in animation. He debuted as a director with the OVA series Gunbuster/トップをねらえ! (1988). Which was, fittingly, a mecha series in large part framed as a tribute to Dezaki's Aim for the Ace! that gradually turns into grand time dilation cosmic horror (with a side of yuri). He became truly world famous with Eva, and Eva certainly deserves all its accolades, but it would be a shame for that to eclipse his animation ^^

Metal Skin Panic MADOX-01 (1987) Dir. By Shinji Aramaki Animated By: Hideaki Anno & Kōji Akimoto

Legendary Neon Genesis Evangelion creator Hideaki Anno was only in his mid to late 20s and Kōji Akimoto being only 14 when he helped designed and animated Metal Skin Panic a mecha cyberpunk anime film.

[legy]

random game roundup

my sleep schedule sucks so bad rn i slept from 7 am to 7 pm and now nobody is awake to talk to

Magic Wand - $4

Included in Indie bundle for Palestinian Aid

this kinda fucks insanely. i didnt even get very far but its a deeply stylish and fascinating rpg

Red Embrace (BL Visual Novel) - $4.99

Included in Indie bundle for Palestinian Aid

i must have spent two minutes of my fifteen laughing at this. sorry. its that the main character works at a diner and it feels like the authors are only kind of familiar with how those work and like <- is from new jersey

i really liked the background cgs. & the actual writing was competent. i didnt get very far at all but its easy to tell this is pretty meaty/has a lot of content for anyone interested in it

Stacks On Stacks (On Stacks) - $12.99

Included in Indie bundle for Palestinian Aid

real testament to how many of these bundle games ive played that i prepped this entire page and didnt realize until i opened the game and heard the OST that i literally played this before and completely forgot

co-op party game where you build a stack tower and aim to reach a certain height. if things fall off the platform you lose a life. restarting is extremely smooth so it doesnt feel super punishing but i honestly really did not like the random events LOL maybe more fun if i was with a second person

Star and Light 1.0 - 4.50€

Included in Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality

this is pretty interesting. its a platformer with the primary mechanic being that you need to touch specific platforms in each room to continue, but to touch those platforms twice kills you. it felt fine to play (i respect a lot that the first thing it does is prompt you to bind its controls). overall i love the visuals even tho it feels like the deathlights are placeholder art and the writing is VERY charming

Ganbare! Super Strikers - $9.99

Included in Bundle for Racial Justice and Equality, Bundle for Ukraine

full on soccer srpg. you love to see it. controls are a little unintuitive/clunky and also i only kind of understand the sport so i had no idea what good strats are etc. absurd level of character customization. if the concept of a soccer srpg really interests you i suggest checking this out

[knowlessman]

bnha s3e14-16

new OP. …okay this is pretty good. -- huh. the end shot of it puts Hagukure front and center.

"the last sparks of One for All have gone out, and I can't really keep my muscle form any more. except for a couple frames now and then for a laugh"

"oh yeah, I'm not at home." you can tell your all might shrines apart?

what… why DOES iida do that arm thing now? what is it? did he use to do it before and I just didn't notice? is… is he stimming? is iida autistic rep

two signature moves. wonder if bakugo will have an issue since his power does basically one - wait a minute, what constitutes a signature move for hagukure? just like with the physical exam, I have questions about how a static Quirk that doesn't enhance or grant any active abilities interacts with this and don't think I can expect them to be answered : / -- …if hagukure was secretly also able to throw her voice that would be amazing -- random thought: melissa's gauntlets are the #1 thing from the first movie that I wish would show up in the show but definitely (?) won't. #2 is hagukure's rock-paper-scissors signs

you already have ultimate moves, Deku. : / you just stole them from All Might. and in theory, you should eventually be able to do that stuff without breaking your arms? in theory?

"I thought about doing a lightning sword or something" …Kaminari, if you learn to do that without going saitama-face, and stop palling around with mineta, you just might go up a tier or two

("teaching for dummies") 'XD well at least he's making an honest effort?

"if there was some sort of brace that could support the movement of my arms…" IF ONLY, HUH. IF ONLY SOMEONE COULD INVENT SOME KIND OF PROTECTIVE GEAR FOR YOUR ARMS. IT'D BE AMAZING IF SOMEONE LIKE THAT EXISTED, HUH???

: | I was looking forward to seeing Mei again, but now it looks like she's here to enable uraraka's… whatever-this-is nonsense (I don't think it's tsundere? just regular pointless denial?). well, long as she's also here to do cool gadgeteer shit -- "I'm the guy you used as a billboard during the tournament!" hehe. good times, good times.

"midoriya, you fight with your fists and fingers, right?" …yeah, he does. kinda weird now that you say it out loud, but that's how he was doing things up to now, just cashing bits in one at a time.

…and hatsume moves down a tier (from wherevertf she was, idk I forgot about her tbh) with the groping : | dangit

mei: "if you want to cool off your legs, why don't you run with your arms?" deku (having an epiphany): "oh yeah… I have LEGS…" -- "it's like…" oh boy, how is he gonna tie microwaves into this one -- (aw we didn't get another wacky metaphor : [ )

"you should have changed your whole look" says the diaper pervert

tokoyami how are you this edgy and somehow not cringe

"Armor-Piercing Shot!" some uncharacteristic restraint from God Explosion Murder

we get it kaminari, you got a duel disc

(neutral) goddamn high school romance bullshit

is this other school actually just a police academy. why've they all got cop hats -- Ed! that's who he's reminding me of! Ed from Ed Edd n Eddy

VAMPIRE ALERT. I think. I think that's vampire girl, with Joker's school? she got pointy teef. …I forget whether knife girl has those

touchy guy alert. : / He's grabbing everyone's hands because of something to do with his quirk, I just know it.

…laser tag? no, dodgeball. a combination of the two. weird

"The keys will be teamwork and cooperation, and information gathering" also aim. Aim seems kind of important.

"Shikkui Makabe! Quirk Name: I'm Putting a Rock in This One!" also you sir are a pokemon

you sir are literally saitama in a wig

aw, why did you have to save diaper pervert, I was looking forward to seeing less of him

…you madam are… not a vampire, I guess.

another cowgirl? wonder what they've gone and named this one

…okay Ed is OP, I can't even pick a joke, that was some heckin stuff

(ninja girl's shown up) everybody wants to invade deku's personal space all the time, damn -- …whuh - oh. mimic -- ohhhh so ninja girl's a mimic. well dang, that's powerful -- : | great, we got two nudists in this show and only one of them has the "I'm invisible but we don't have invisible clothing technology" excuse

wait where are her target thingies? she's cheating! …are hagukure's targets on her gloves and shoes? why's this show got to have mineta and nudists in it

"WAS SHE NAKED" GODDAMMIT TAPEFACE

an entire school is just the ninja clan hidden in the… uh… it's a straight fucking line and I'm tired, I got nothing. they're all different primary colors, so it's the clan hidden in the teletubby house I guess

-- you fight like a Kirby boss

it is… irresponsibly late, as usual, so I guess I'm cutting it here

[abigailkua]

First ever project under my charge in BM - BSR E1520F/G

In late Aug, the bidding started, I was just learning how to offer quotations for request that came in. This was one of the many that I struggled through.

Few weeks past and there wasnt much to do for the technical side, only trying to understand and pick up PVElite. And because I was still relatively new, I couldnt "help" much with the operations side as I was toggling between both departments (QC TOO).

I prayed and forgot about it

So I was thinking "Oh maybe when this BSR 2 units comes, I could try to see it through from start to end since I was part of the few that already knew the existence of this project". I prayed for wisdom as to how to approach my ops boss on this, but in the end I didnt ask.

Technical side started getting busier with 8TA1. My attention moved away from the workshop and operations. I even missed a few friday morning meetings in those few weeks.

God answered my prayer even though I forgot about it (How it came back)

Then news broke that my first work friend was resigning. She was the only operations engineer left since her manager suddenly disappeared. So most of her work fell back to the ops boss, who was already very busy.

Overwhelmed as he should be, QC started covering operation works too as there was no one hired to take over. At this point, 8TA1 side was slowing down and I was also being delegated some operation technical work to do. Hence I started getting more involved in the workshop situation.

Then one fine day, an email came in with subject matter "Vietnam Tube bundle". I clicked in and there it was, God's answer to the prayer that I already forgot about. It all quickly came back to me and I told hu about it. She just laughed and said "Ask and it shall be given, Jesus lub you"

So kids, be careful what you pray for.

Not me trying to be a Jonah

Nearing the start of fabrication, a new engineer will be joining us to take over the open position of workshop engineer. So I thought "Hey since shes new here and needs an opportunity to learn as quickly as possible, she can have some charge over this".

Just as I added the fullstop to my thought, I heard that she was only coming in on thursday and materials were arriving on saturday. With this mad rush job, we cant possibly make her come back on her first weekend with the company. So I sucked it up and came. (2 saturdays were burnt)

God's providence and guidance shone through

With a whole week of grind and hustle, it came down to the last bit of fabrication on thursday. And everyone was so tired already but we were still pushing through to meet the deadline. So we started arranging for hydrotest witnessing with the client on monday.

Little did we know, client required us to submit all documents and reports for review before allowing the hydrotest to be done. However because we were not yet finished, we were not able to submit all the required documents by friday. I requested to send it all by sunday latest so that the client could review it on monday morning and give us the green light for the afternoon. But I believe God knows best.

Client said not possible for monday so they postponed the hydrotest a week later. Thank God for that because our fabrication only completed monday afternoon, which was already later than promised. We sent them all the documents and they arranged to come down on thursday for witnessing.

On wednesday, the very fateful "one day before" when we aim to do a last round of checks to make sure everything was ok, we were contemplating if we should do an internal hydrotest depsite the lack of gaskets. Then we found the problem of the testing cover and the tubesheet. In short, tubesheet too big, even bigger than drawing.

Thank God for the people that were pushing for an internal hydrotest despite the lack of gaskets if not we would never have known. Thank God there is only two bundles. Thank God the machining company could accomodate our last minute request. Thank God for the men who worked overnight, waiting and fitting on the test cover to prepare for internal test in the morning.

Hold point

Due to all the last minute corrections, we proposed for the witnessing to happen at 3pm, or at least after lunch. But there was no response as to whether they agreed or not, so we assumed that was the plan.

Unit G went through a pre test first in the morning at 13.5 bar. After 30 min, the pressure dropped 0.4 bar. All of us panicked. Everyone was checking for leaks, suspecting all the various factor that could be affecting it, the weather, the expansion, the cover fitting etc, but there was no sign at all so we left it alone. After the pre test was over, we were considering whether to do another run due to the uneasiness of the drop. But after looking at the chart recorder, the pressure went back up by 0.2 bar and it gave us a little more hope for the next unit.

Moving on to unit F, we received a message that the clients were on the way. I knew we were not ready but I still did my part to inform the foreman, which also reiterated that we wouldnt make it. When I walked away from that stress scene to prepare for their arrival, I sighed "Oh God please work".

Unit F was a little more problematic. First pump up, the cover started leaking, by a lot. So we had to do a round of tightening the bolts. Second try it leaked again so another round of tightening. At this point, the client arrived. The men continued with the testing as the rest of us went in to meet with them.

Storm before the rainbow

They were ushered in to the meeting room and introductions were flown around. I was trying so hard to understand what they were trying to say due to the thick accent. Thank God they requested to review the physical documents first and to have TP around before carrying out the official hydrotest.

As they were reviewing, I noticed the lead inspector scrolling through country flags as he went through the material list. I thought it was quite amusing like "Does he only recognise countries based on their flags, haha cool" He even asked if slovakia was a country because he couldny find the flag, but only because it was listed as slovak republik instead.

Then came the question of taiwan. We were all initially confused because we thought he was asking if taiwan was considered part of china because our materialdls should be non india/china. Until he rephrased his question "Is taiwan part of OECD/G7/EU?" Because its my first time hearing this, I looked it up and realised that it wasnt. But I still didnt understand why he asked that. Until he showed me what was written in the official contract to BMV. Then I became silent with that screen in my head together with the contract we received flashing alongside. All i thought was "Shit. Die already"

The client's contract clearly states that all raw materials used in fabrication should originate from the countries listed under the OECD/G7/EU. But this was not made known to us as the contract we received from BMV mentioned nothing about materials origin. All they reiterated was no india no china. But it was all too late push it around so I informed my ops boss about the situation and he came down.

As the taiwan material was being used for a non-pressure part, thank God the client didnt demand we changed it out and eventually settled with a minor non-conformance report. With this, the first part of report review was done and it was time for the hydrotest.

Throughout the review time, the team was still trying to complete the internal test while still changing the pressure gauge at the last minute. So we were praying really hard that when its time for the witnessing, everything will be smooth.

Double rainbow

THANK GOD, we did it. The 2 units pulled through the hydrotest with zero to minimal hiccups. The reports were printed, charts were dated and they were all signed and chopped. What a relieve it was to have gotten this over and done with.

Looking back at this whole journey, I could really feel that God was with and watching over me all the way even though i might not have been conscious about it. All the heard and answered prayers, all the wisdom and guidance even though I didnt pray much about it. Only in His timing could all these twist and turn events lead to a happy ending of this project.

[earlgraytay]

I agree with all of this, with one caveat: a lot of it depends on the genre you are working in, and the conventions of that genre.

Writing a spy in a Le Carre-inspired historical story or a modern thriller- which is what OP's advice is geared towards- is going to be different from writing a spy in a high fantasy, a children's spy adventure story, or a spy-flavoured romcom. Some genres run on more hopeful conventions than others, and writing a spy in a more hopeful genre requires you to bend reality to the genre's conventions.

Like, to take one example that's been in the media a lot lately- Spy X Family is a Fake Marriage comedy about, well, a spy building a family. Twilight, the main spy character, is a cynical, calculating bastard with an awful childhood... but he's also a genuinely decent person when it comes to his "family", doing things to protect them that would get a character in a proper spy novel killed.

And it works, because Spy X Family takes place in a different world from ours, with different rules. The rules of a (...romantic?) comedy dictate that both leads are good people you could fall in love with. The tension in Spy X Family doesn't come from "will the spy stuff succeed"-- the betrayals Twilight engineers are played for laughs, and you know that, for the story to continue, the mission has to go on. The tension comes from comedic tension and release and from the relationships between the characters.

Twilight still follows some of the rules that OP laid out.... but the rules are adapted to fit in a universe that runs on laughter and love, and not in dying alone in the dark. There's just enough of an edge to his character that he's believable as a spy, but he still fits within the conventions of the romcom.

Similarly, a spy story aimed at children ages 8-11 is usually not going to be able to grapple with the darker side of human nature in the specific way OP laid out. You can get surprisingly cynical in a children's book, don't get me wrong, but middle grade fiction has some conventions that you can't ignore if you want parents and schools to give your story to Impressionable Young Folks. It has to be at least a little bit didactic- you have to teach kids something- and a lot of the time, the lessons have to be relevant to kids' lives.

Which means that, for your story to be palatable to the audience who's buying your books, the main character has to have genuine friends, so that they can have normal kid friend problems that they work through in a way that teaches kids something. Which means that you can't write a proper spy in the way that OP laid out, because spies don't have real friends.

There are stories that can do both. The Animorphs series does this really well- on a granular, book-to-book level, these kids were friends before they became [functionally] spies. They have normal kid problems, including problems with how to treat each other, which are resolved in a didactic way. But the overall story of Animorphs is a tragedy, and these friendships get... incredibly messed up over time, in ways that look more like what you laid out.

But most kids' stories about spies just aren't going to be able to grapple with the full horror of what's going on. And that's okay... provided that you know that, and work within the confines of your genre. If you're writing a kids' adventure story with a spy coat of paint, you need to know that that's what you're doing... and you need to consider why you want to write about spies, specifically, to do that.

On Spies (Personality)

“Intelligence work has one moral law—it is justified by results.”

-John Le Carre, The Spy Who Came In From The Cold. (10)

[eunkimmie]

hi! I really liked your sal friends with benefits headcannons and I was wondering if you could do one for larry? :)

larry didn’t think of sex as something that was sacred or that had to be cherished, he just thought of it as a desire. if two people wanted to fuck, so be it. larry thought of himself as a relatively emotional person, even if he didn’t show it all the time. he also knew he wasn’t the worst looking guy out there, he definitely fit into a “type” though. with the long hair occasionally pulled up into a messy bun, the oversized and overworn shirts, loose fitting pants that pooled around his beat up converse with doodles all on the fabric. his tanned skin was even, save for a few patches of acne and some body hair. point is, larry was an attractive guy.

now, there weren’t a whole lot of people in Nockfell that were falling on their knees for him, especially since they knew him as a weird kid in high school, but y’know. tinder was a thing. sometimes he just wanted to chat, or sometimes he did use the app for hookups.

wasn’t much, really. he’d bring someone to his shared house, fuck, then he’d let them choose whether they wanted to stay or leave for the night. maybe if he took a shine to them, offer some weed and cook some shitty eggs for them in the morning.

one day, he matched with you. cute, interesting. and by the way you chatted with him, you didn’t seem too interested in a relationship at the moment either. he invited you over after talking for a day or two, and that was that. you stayed the night, waking to an offer of coffee, maybe some cereal? you agreed, and the two of you sat downstairs laughing. larry was an easy guy to chat with, and almost everyone found that they got comfortable with him and his laid-back nature relatively quickly.

“and what kind of move was that?” you snickered, moving the spoon around in your cereal bowl idly. “i mean, if you’re gonna throw someone on your bed, at least make sure you aim correctly.” he tilted his head back as he let out a boisterous laugh, fist slamming down on the table. “fuck, don’t bring that shit up! sorry for being eager.” the two of you joked like that before you decided it was well time to go home.

after that, larry gradually stopped hooking up with random strangers, and instead turning to you. the both of you were well aware of the relationship and had no issue. but, eventually, the two of you learned that, hey, you actually had some common interests. after a session, you say up in his bed and tried to fix your hair to the best of your abilities after being fucked senseless. “you have a switch?”

“is that a sex question?” he asked, and received a pillow to the chest. “yes, you wanna play something?” you shrugged, pulling a shirt over your chest. he rattled off some names of the co-op games he had, and the two of you had settled on mario kart, cliche as it may be. and of course you beat ass. larry wasn’t a sore loser, instead offering you a lazy smile every time you told him to “eat shit you fucking second place”

larry didn’t question it much, but eventually the two of you became friends. it was bound to happen, your chemistry was more than just sexual, and he was sure that if the two of you had met in person before tinder, you would’ve been friends as well. was it so bad that his fuck-buddy was coming over midday now to play games or watch movies? larry decided that it may be better not to question it. besides, the two of you had a good dynamic going here.

but here’s the thing—when two people spend that much time together in the day and are having sex at night, at least one of them is bound to grow feelings. larry would run his calloused hands up your waist, grasping for as much of you as he could get as his mouth placed sporadic kisses all down your neck. the way your voice sounded as you let out small whimpers made his heart beat faster and faster, but the best noise was when he was fucking you at such a fast pace that had your hands gripping tightly at the sheets, before suddenly he’d stop. he’d watch as you cried out and desperately tried to create some movement between the two of you, and larry would tilt your chin up and give you a lingering kiss, staring down at your tear-filled eyes before he’d finally move again.

every time you two had sex, he would pour all of his affection and feeling into it. he didn’t want to fuck up your friendship, so instead all of his pent up emotion would turn into multiple rounds of sex, sometimes rough, sometimes passionate. he didn’t think he would ever confess, he knew he couldn’t. it would be best to just ignore it, right? right.

so, he never did. he never uttered a word to anyone, not even his friends, about the feelings he harbored for you. and when he asked if you wanted to stay the night, his heart would leap as you nodded and cuddled up to him in bed. and how he felt such a surge of disappointment rush through him when you decided it was time to get going, and left. he fantasized about grabbing you by the arm, stopping you from leaving, and proclaiming that he did have feelings for you, that you were so much more than just a person to hookup with at night. that he wanted a real relationship with you, that he wanted you to stay with him and wake up to him every day, and how much it killed him to open his eyes first thing in the morning and not see your face, and that…

fuck. was he in love with you? was it more than just a crush? it didn’t matter, you didn’t want a relationship, and that was that. larry wasn’t going to push your boundaries, it wasn’t your fault that he had to go and develop feelings for someone he was just supposed to be having sex with. he was in love with you, and the thought made him embarrassed. he’d stay up at night thinking about how quick you’d be to reject him if he ever did confess. the thought of you reciprocating his feelings wasn’t even a possibility in his mind.

you bit your lip as you knocked on the front door to his house. it was strange. you were always attracted to him, of course, but lately you’d been having…thoughts. you spent so much time in his house, his room, that an image of you staying there, with him, had briefly crossed your mind the other night. how would it feel to wake up in his arms every day as the sun peeked through the curtains? to be able to walk over to your shared closet before tossing on some clothes and walking to the kitchen and make breakfast for him? you wondered if he’d help, if maybe he’d come up behind you and wrap his arms around your waist before kissing you softly. “the eggs might burn,” you’d say, but he would turn the burner off and kiss you anyways. how he’d lift you up on the counter and run his hands gently down your sides and plant soft kisses to your lips.

your fantasy stopped right there as he opened up the door, greeting you with a lazy smile. his hair was up this night, small strands falling from the bun he had loosely tied together. and then, the two of you were in his room. but it felt different somehow. maybe it was your imagination.

he closed the door behind him, pressing you up against the wood after it locked with a small click. his hands worked your shirt, pulling it off before tossing it aside. he ran his hand down the side of your thigh, your legs wrapped around him as he supported your body with ease. your hands had cupped his cheeks as you kissed him, his breath shaky as he pulled back for air for only a second.

you didn’t go home that night. you stayed, waking up to larry’s arms draped lazily over your body as your back curved against his chest like a perfect puzzle piece. you turned over, slowly as possible as to make little movement. now, you were face to face with him, his eyes still closed and lips parted slightly. you sighed, pushing a few strands of hair from his face and planting a gentle kiss on his lips. you mumbled out a strained, “fuck,” before you decided that maybe it was better to go back to sleep.

he acted like he was asleep. cheap move, he knew that, but when he felt your fingers softly brush his hair aside, his heart practically jumped out of his chest. he laid there as you kissed him once, and he swore that if you put a hand to his chest you would be able to feel just how fast his heartbeat was going.

for weeks, the two of you unconsciously pined over one another, both of you too afraid to say anything. you continued as you were, meeting up for either video games or sex.

his room was dark, dimly illuminated by his LED lights, your body reflecting a slight sheen of blue as the lights hit your skin perfectly. his hands grasped at your hips, his back against the wall behind his bed as you bounced yourself up and down on his cock, face to face. he supported your movements with his hands on your hips, eyebrows furrowed. you were so fucking tight around him, and your bodies seemed to come together perfectly, like it was meant to be. the way your lips were parted as you moaned his name, and how you almost screamed when he met your movement by thrusting upwards, and how he had to cover your mouth with his hand as to not disturb his roommates. he had moved you to lay on your back now, his body hovering above yours as he fucked you into his mattress. your hands intertwined above your head, and you could fe that all familiar feeling of a bubble about to burst in your stomach.

“f-fuck..fuck! im so, i’m so fucking—“ your sentences weren’t even coherent as he fucked you rhythmically. your back arched, letting him hit an even deeper spot inside of you that made you cry out his name. you removed your hand from his, moving up to cup his cheeks as you stared into his eyes. “fuck..don’t stop. please, don’t stop.”

“fuck…” larry groaned back. he was close, and the way you looked at him as if he was the only thing that mattered right then and there just drew him closer. it was all too much. the way you cried out his name and pulled him into kiss you. it just came out. he mumbled, “fuck…i love you,” and the way immediately after that you pulled him in for another kiss sent him over the edge. you could feel his cum drip out as he pulled himself out of you. you laid on his bed, chest rising and falling as you tried to catch your breath. he uttered that he was going to get you a towel to clean up with after he pulled on some sweatpants.

as you laid there, now partially clothed but still sweaty, you thought about it. you thought about what he had said to you, and how the words alone were enough to make you come undone. your face burned as you thought about it.

larry could really just kill himself. he was so fucking stupid. he stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, fist clenched so tightly that his skin turned paler. he was going to act as if it never happened. it was for the best. it was always for the best.

as the two of you laid in his bed, you couldn’t help but think. and in an impulse, you blurted out, “do you really love me?” as soon as the words had left your mouth, your face heated up with embarrassment. you had meant to phrase it more carefully, but the sound of his voice kept repeating that same line in your head.

larry recoiled, barely visible, as he stayed silent. what was he supposed to say? he couldn’t even act cool in the moment as his mind scrambled for words, any words, to come to mind. “uh…” he said, gulping. he could feel his hands getting clammy. “you can, uh…you don’t have to feel obligated to stay if you’re uncomfortable. i don’t want you to feel like you have to pity me.” that came out a bit self deprecating, but he meant it. he was the one who had fucked it up. he was the one that couldn’t even keep his words to himself.

as you processed his sentence, you furrowed your eyebrows. you had been seeing larry for a few months now, was it? the time you spent together, you felt it had become more than just sex. you guys built a friendship, a bond. maybe it was soon, but life didn’t wait for anyone. “no, fuck..! no, i don’t want to leave, i just…” you paused, thinking about it for a moment more. “i think that i might, um. i don’t know, i can’t really think straight right now, i just…i know i have feelings for you.” and you left it at that. you didn’t know if you loved him yet, but you were sure of yourself.

larry’s brain stopped working for a split second in that moment. he took time to replay your words in his head, but only for a second, because before he knew it he was rambling. “wait, seriously? like, actually? you don’t have to say anything to try and make me feel better, know that. i don’t want to try and—“ you cut him off by shaking your head. “no, no! im not just saying this shit, seriously. im really sure of it, actually.” you laughed softly, half heartedly. it was hard to make eye contact.

larry let out an incredulous laugh as you smiled at him nervously. maybe this moment should’ve been more serious, but all he could think in that moment is that he felt happy. truly, genuinely happy. “let me take you out on a date,” he said, to which you responded with a bright smile and a nod. he couldn’t help but laugh again at the situation, and how unorthodox it all felt. he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

the two of you had stayed up late talking. just talking about life, about feelings and emotions. you two didn’t wake until late noon, but waking up to see your face snuggled into his chest was just about the biggest surge of serotonin that larry could’ve received.