#also the end of the episode hurt but I know next week's is gonna hurt harder

[cacophonylily]

Wondering if the French homophobic comment heard in the background of Louis kissing Armand in front of the Sacré-Coeur was staged or if it was some parisian dude being very very rude.

[lesservillain]

iv. someone like you and all you know and how you speak

summary: old friends and halloween shenanigans cw: we see peen. an: i love joyce byers. also pic of matthew lillard is implied to be reefer rick.

Eddie started having night terrors. 

They didn’t come every night, but their intensity had you concerned.

The first one had you flying over the back of the couch to get to him. His shrieks turned your blood cold, and watching him shake and convulse was terrifying to witness. In your panic, you wrapped your arms around him to try to ground him and ended up getting hit in the face. After that you asked your teacher for advice on what interventions to do when someone has an episode.

But you weren’t the only one to suffer with pain after getting clocked in the jaw. The days after an episode left Eddie’s body sore from the sudden jerking of his muscles in his sleep. It probably didn’t help that he had also started physical therapy twice a week either, leaving him sore even with his pain medication most of the time. 

Needless to say, Eddie was acting like his normal grumpy self most days, even when his friends would come over. Though, he did try and reel it back when he could catch himself or with a subtle nudge from you. By now you’d gotten used to his grumpy attitude and knew it was just coming from a place of hurting. In turn he’s been much more cooperative with you. Progress.

“What the hell are you guys doing?” You ask with a laugh, as you get out of your car. Eddie is sitting on the ground leaning back against his hands with his legs sprawled out. Will and Grant sit on either side of him as Dustin pushes Eddie’s wheelchair on its back wheels, Jeff sitting in it and squealing as Gareth and Mike laugh.

“They’re trying to break Jeff so him and Eddie can get matching chairs,” Grant called, eliciting a laugh from Eddie and Will.

“N’they’re gonna pay for his new one when they break that one,” Wayne calls from the porch, lit cigarette in hand. All around him are pumpkins of all different shapes and sizes, like a little pumpkin patch had grown around him.

“Ah, I see.” You nod.

Grabbing your bag, you walk into the Munson home to get your things settled. Glancing over into the dining room, you expected to see the table already set up for their game night, but were surprised to see it covered in newspaper and knives and spoons. 

“Are you guys carving these pumpkins?” You ask, stepping back out onto the porch and pointing at the Wayne’s posse.

“Yep,” Eddie called back. “My PT said it would be a “fun activity” to work on my hand strength," he said with stiff fingered air quotes.

“Yeah, Eddie’s gonna scoop out all the guts with his bare hands,” Dustin says, setting the wheelchair back down to wiggle his fingers.

“Ew gross,” Mike joins in with Dustin’s antics.

“It’s not gross,” you say with a roll of the eyes. “Save the seeds and I’ll bake them for later.”

“Mmm, some roasted pumpkin seeds sounds real good.” Wayne says, putting his cigarette out and standing from his seat. “Save me some a’them when you make em.”

“Of course!”

“Hey, should we show her what we found earlier?” Your ears twitch when you hear Will lean into Eddie’s side. He looks at you over his shoulder, then back to the group before nodding.

And that’s how you ended up following the boys through the woods around the Munson house. Grant pushed Eddie’s chair through the woods, which wasn’t as terrible of terrain as you had expected. If the slight bounce bothered him, Eddie didn’t say. You stayed steady next to him, only moving to let them go ahead of you when the mostly thinned out trees were too close in some areas. 

After a few minutes and a lot of loud conversation between the boys, you came to a small clearing that dropped off into a cliff. It made you nervous to see the boys get so close to the drop, especially when Grant pushed Eddie almost to the very edge.

“Hey, be careful, please,” you called from behind them. 

“Come on, come see how far down this is!” Jeff called, his toes right on the cliff’s edge. You take a couple steps forward, just enough that you can see the water sloshing at the bottom. 

To see it made you dizzy, so you tried to focus your eyes elsewhere, instead taking in the breathtaking view of the lake below. You could see boats, houses, and even a man fishing off of a dock behind his house. If there was a railing or something to hold on to out here, you could see yourself coming out here to sit with Eddie on a nice day.

“Woah, shit!” Your heart stops beating as you watch Will pull Mike’s stumbling body back from the ledge, and you’re instantly done with this whole adventure.

“Alright, I get the idea. Field trips over,” you say, walking over to Eddie’s chair and pulling him back. “We better go carve those pumpkins before it gets too late and the kids have to go home.”

There’s some groans of protest, but they all follow your lead back to through the woods.

“You have to admit it was pretty cool, though, right?” Eddie says, his head tilting back just a bit to look at you. He was smiling. It was something he started doing more and you couldn’t help the way it made your stomach flip every time he did it.

“Yeah, it was definitely a nice view,” you agreed with a sigh. 

“Maybe when it gets warm out we can try jumping from it.” You hear Gareth say to one of the other boys. You recall the large drop from where you all stood at the top and a shiver went down your spine.

“I wouldn’t...unless you really want to get your own wheelchair to match Eddie's,” you say back. Gareth doesn’t let out another peep for the duration of the walk back.

“Okay, since Eddie is on scooping duty make sure you give him your pumpkins once you’ve got the tops off.”

The boys are sitting in their normal gaming formation, except for where Eddie and Gareth have swapped sides so Eddie can sit next to you. The pumpkin that the boys picked out for Eddie sits in front of you since you offered to carve it for him.

“What are you going to draw on it?” You ask him as you cut into the top of the thick pumpkin with force.

“I’m not sure yet,” he says indecisively. “Something scary for sure.”

“How about Mrs. O’Donnell?” Gareth nudges Eddie’s side, and the boys at the table all grimace.

“Fuck no. As terrifying as she is, I’d rather carve a demoba--”

Eddie catches himself mid sentence, horror written all over his face as he looks directly at Dustin. Mike and Will share similar pale faced expressions as Dustin. The tension at the table could be cut with a knife and you weren’t sure how to defuse the situation.

“Well,” Grant is the first to break the silence, “I think that, whatever we all decide to do, that we could make it into a competition. Let the newbie decide who has the best design.” He was looking straight at you and you were caught off guard by the new label. 

“Oh, come on, that’s not fair,” Gareth chimes in before you can say anything, “Will is like, one of the best artists in the whole town. He’s definitely gonna win.” Will sat up straight in his chair, before shrinking down with a smile.

“Hey, now, let’s not forget who designed these bad ass tee shirts,” Eddie says, gesturing at himself.

“You made those designs?” You ask surprised. Eddie nods with pride.

“Yep, when Hellfire was founded in ‘82. We scrounged up enough money to go to a print shop and have these bad boys made at the beginning of the school year. Wasn’t cheap, so we’ve always tried to be extra careful with them.”

“Awe, that’s so cute,” you giggle.

The table erupts in a defensive roar about how it is apparently not cute that their club has tee shirts that they take very good care of. No one was convincing you otherwise. 

You blew them off and distracted them by having them give Eddie their pumpkins. They all watched with amusement as Eddie reached down into each pumpkin and pulled the slimy, seedy guts out of them. Eddie’s button nose scrunched up with disgust, contrasted by the wide grin that touched his eyes. His tongue poked out in concentration as he swirled around the inside of the pumpkin, plopping the guts into bowls and pots with each one.

By the time he had gutted each pumpkin of their contents, Eddie looked like he was done for the rest of the night. 

“Eddie, do you want to save your pumpkin for another night?” You ask quietly, leaning in so only he could hear. He looks at you, brown orbs darting back and forth between your eyes carefully before smiling at you.

“Yeah, please?”

“Of course.”

“See, I told you that Will was going to win!” Gareth shouted, his hands falling at his side with a huff as the rest of the group laughed at his bitching.

“I’m sorry, it’s really good! That’s the most detailed pumpkin carving of a vampire’s face I’ve ever seen.”

“Thanks,” Will said bashfully. 

“Gareth, I don’t know why you’re bitching. Your jack-o-lanturn’s eyes aren’t even the same size.” Eddie razzed, goading Gareth until he flipped him off.

“Awe, I thought the mismatched eyes were cute,” you said teasingly, and Gareth froze, turning away from your eyes to stand by Will, who gave him a pat on the back.

As you all stood around admiring the hard work of everyone’s carved pumpkins, the sound of loud music playing grabbed all of your attention. It progressively got louder, sounding like it was coming from down the driveway.

“What the hell?” Jeff said with a tilt of his head.

Everyone seemed more confused than anything, but you clocked the look on Eddie’s face as he looked between the trees of the winding driveway. There was a fear there that you’d only seen in his face during his night terrors, and everything in your body was telling you that you needed to get him and everyone else inside.

“Come on guys, lets go—”

The loud revving of the engine drowned out the sound of whatever song the driver was playing. The car came over the bump at an alarming pace before slamming on its breaks once it got up to the clearing. Headlights blinded all of you, and your body moved on its own accord to stand directly in front of Eddie.

The engine cut off abruptly, the lights dimming enough to reveal fire engine red sports car with a black stripe down the middle. You could barely see the fuzzy dice hanging from the rear view mirror through the heavily tinted windows.

“Holy shit,” you hear Eddie say behind you. The fear had left his features, replaced with an elated shock that left you wanting to ask several questions. But before you could question him, Eddie maneuvered around you and the rest of the guys heading straight toward the mysterious car.

Just as Eddie approached the car, the driver side door swung open. A man  only a few years older than you with blond, spiked hair stepped out. The man had to be at least 6’5, his face covered in piercings and he had an over all aura of trouble.

“How the hell did he get this address?” You hear Jeff question Grant and Gareth.

“Rick!” Eddie shouts excitedly.

“Holy fuck, dude,” Rick says, pushing up his sunglasses and slamming his car door shut. He runs up to Eddie and embraces him tightly, bending down to be at his level. Rick pulled back, looking Eddie up and down before bringing his hand down on his shoulder a few times.

“Damn, that dude really did a number on you, huh?”

Eddie visibly shrinks, shrugging his shoulders. “Yeah, you could say that.”

“Who the hell is that?” You ask Jeff quietly, taking a few steps back to be standing next to him.

“That’s Reefer Rick,” he says with an annoyed tone. “He’s Eddie’s friend. Got Eddie into dealing in school.” Your neck almost breaks with how quickly you look at Jeff.

“Dealing? Like, drug dealing?”

Jeff looks at you and nods. “Uh, yeah? You didn’t know about that?”

“Um, no. I didn’t.” 

“It was just weed,” Jeff as an attempt to save face, “Aaaaaand sometimes random pills that Rick would give him to sell. But nothing serious.”

“Oh, okay. Just weed and pills. Which are both totally illegal to sell but it’s cool right?” Your blood was starting to boil with this new information. You don’t know why you’re even upset, it’s not like you really cared if people smoked weed or whatever.

Really it’s the idea of Eddie getting in trouble after everything he’s been through. Drug dealers are notorious for being sneaky and conniving, right? What if this guy thinks Eddie got money in the settlement and is here looking for a handout.

“Hi," you say in a clipped tone to the man as you approach him and Eddie. You give him just your first name, extending a hand out to him with faux pleasantry as you settle next to Eddie in his chair. “Who are you?”

“Oh, hey, this is Rick,” Eddie says to you with excitement. “Rick, this is my…caregiver.”

Rick takes your hand, looking you up and down before giving you a loose handshake. “Well, hello nurse,” Rick smiles, maintains eye contact with you as he continues to hold your hand.. 

After a beat Eddie clears his throat, and Rick retracts his hand from yours. You don’t miss the subtle shift in Eddie’s chair, making him close enough you can feel his arm against yours. You took the hint, and stepped back until you were behind his chair. Rick laughed lowly before looking back to Eddie. 

“Well, I’m glad you have someone who can take care of you,” Rick says with a cheshire smile. “Especially since I’m sure Wayne is back at work. Must be expensive to live all the way out here.”

“Eh, we had it built out here as part of the settlement, so it’s paid for. He still has to pay the bills, though.” Eddie’s voice trails off at the end. “Wish I could do something to help…”

“Yeah, I don’t blame ya,” Rick says as he scans the land, nodding his head to the guys as he does. “I’m sure you’re not interested in getting back into the business with me given…well, everything.”

“Ah, yeah…I owe you an apology…” Eddie looks up to Rick with a guilty expression.

“For what? Oh, you mean my house?” Eddie nods and Rick waves him off. “Nah, don’t sweat it man. I took everything with me when I went to Vegas so if anyone went in there snooping they wouldn’t have found anything anyway. It looked like they had sent someone in to clean though. Looked nicer than the day my parents—I mean, the day I bought it.” Eddie nods, letting out a breath that he was holding as Rick talked.

“Well that’s nice that your house that you bought is all clean,” you say, grabbing onto the handles of Eddie’s wheelchair, “And since he’s isn’t interested in your business endeavors, I guess that means you don’t need anything from Eddie then, right?”

Rick looks down at Eddie, then back up to you with a curious look. His tongue rings peaks out from between his lips as he plays with it, before popping it back in his mouth to speak. 

“Well, I was just coming out here to see a dear old friend of mine. But, there is one thing that I want to speak with him about. In private.” He leans down to eye level, eyes squinting with how tightly he smiles at you.

You open your mouth to protest immediately, but you feel Eddie push against the wheels, his chair moving away from you as he motioned Rick to follow him. 

“Give us just a second.”

You stand in the same spot, speechless as they move far enough away that you can’t hear the conversation between them. A hand on your shoulder pulls your attention, and Dustin motions you back over to where the guys are huddled together.

“He’s an idiot,” Grant whisper yells into the huddle.

“Yeah, but he’s obviously lost his best salesmen for the high school territory,” Mike argues. “Wouldn’t be surprised if he was asking if one of us would want to start dealing for him.”

“He better not. You guys better not,” you say with a pointed finger at the boys who were still in high school.

“Trust us, we won’t,” Dustin said with a firm tone.

“Well, whatever he wants, it’s probably not good.”

“Well…”

“Jeff, no.”

“Hey, he’s the whole reason Eddie even stayed in high school. He probably would have dropped out if Rick hadn’t convinced him to keep trying.”

“He only wanted Eddie to keep trying so he could keep selling drugs to high schoolers!”

“That’s a pretty good point.”

“What’s a good point?”

All heads turned to Eddie, who was just behind you with an amused smile on his face. Rick wasn’t with him, still standing back by his car with a lit cigarette in his hand, eyes watching you carefully.

“Oh, we were just…”

“We were saying that you two should decorate her car for the Trunk r Treat festival. And the point was…that you could wear a mask and no one would know it was you?”

Everyone looks at Dustin like he has two heads. Where he even came up with that…you had no idea.

Eddie’s curls bounce as he shakes his head. “What? Trunk r Treat? What are you guys talking about?”

“Oh, the Trunk r Treat is what the town is doing instead of regular trick r treating since the roads are still pretty messed up. Everyone is gonna pull their cars into the fairgrounds and let the kids trick r treat there.”

“That sounds like fun,” you say, looking at Eddie with a hopeful smile. “It would be nice to get out of the house for a little bit. You said Halloween is your favorite holiday, right? I think it would be fun!”

“You guys are serious, aren’t you?” The mood shifts when Eddie speaks. “You seriously think it would be a good idea for me to go out into public? On Halloween night?”

“That’s why I said you could wear a mask!” Dustin seems to be the only one who isn’t affected by Eddie’s tone. “And no one knows you’re missing part of your leg. It would be perfect.” Dustin gestures to you, “And you’ll have your guardian angel with you. If anyone does give you shit she can pack you up in the car real quick and you can say ‘I told you so’ to us at the next Hellfire meeting.’”

Eddie’s jaw rolls in frustration, a heavy sigh leaving him as he leans forward in his chair.

“Hopper will be there,” Will chimes in. “Him and my mom are going to decorate the back of his old police cruiser. I-I could tell him you’re going and I’m sure he’d keep an eye out on you.” The boys look from Will to Eddie as they wait for his response. 

“I…I…Let—let me think about it. Okay? No promises.”

The boys all perk up at Eddie’s potential compliance. Chatter about costumes and getting together at Mike’s parents house has everyone forgetting about the concerns of Rick’s arrival.

You remember though. You hear Rick laugh to himself from where he’s leaning against his car. Looking over your shoulder, you watch as he flicks his cigarette away and opens the door. Stopping about halfway in, he looks at Eddie then to you. He sends you a wink, then gets in without another word.

After about a week of convincing from all the Hellfire boys, you, and even Wayne, Eddie finally caved in and agreed to go to the Hawkins Trunk r Treat. Wayne talked with Hopper about trying to get your cars parked next to each other during the whole event just in case. And Wayne also promised that him and his friend Ben would stay close by in town if anything happened. Eddie didn’t really have much of a reason to say no.

You on the other hand had to come up with an excuse as to why you wouldn’t be spending Halloween with your best friend.

“We ALWAYS have movie night! You can’t just call in sick or something?” Tonya pleads with you as the two of you split each others Chinese take out. You shrug your shoulders, the feeling of guilt creeping up like bile in your throat. 

“I’m sorry Tonnie, I can’t. Honestly, I’m surprised you haven’t made plans with Charles for the night.”

“He probably would have asked but he knows that we always spend Halloween together.”

“I’m sorry, Tonya, but we’re big girls now. Sometimes things need to change…”

Her lower lip pouts at you, and you can tell by the way her eyes are glassy that she’s genuinely upset. If it were anyone else, you would be spending time with her in a heart beat. Ever since the two of you became friends, Halloween has been your thing. 

You’d always been scared of the holiday after when happened with your parents, but over the years Tonya has been able to slowly tear down your fears and make the holiday enjoyable again. Now that you’ve gotten the chance to potentially to the same with Eddie and his fear of going in public again, you feel obligated to follow in her image. 

“I’m really proud of you, you know?” She miles as you as she dabs the wetness from her eyes. “I can’t believe how much you’ve changed. Your parents, your grandparents…they’d be really happy to see you working so hard. With school, work, and still helping me out here…Oh, come here!”

She stands from her seat and rushed to hug you, which you return with equal adoration. For a split moment you want to tell her everything. About Eddie and everything he’s been through. About how you’re starting to prefer being at the Munson house over anywhere else. About how if anyone has come out of their shell, it’ Eddie. About how you’re not really sure about Sam, and how you don’t want to admit that there might be a reason why you’re feeling that way…

“Weren’t kiddin’ about your trunk being big, huh?” Eddie and Wayne peer into the trunk of your car as you pop it open. “I’m sure you won’t have any issue gettin’ it in and outta here. Want me t’help ya get in, son?”

“Can I try first?”

Wayne nods and Eddie maneuvers himself to the passenger side of your car. You’re already standing there waiting with the door open for him, holding it in place. 

The Trunk r Treat was this coming weekend and the Hellfire boys were going to help decorate your trunk before Friday’s game. All you and Eddie had to do was get the materials and the candy. You saw Wayne hand Eddie some cash thinking that you weren’t looking, but you had no intention of letting Eddie pay for anything. This was for him, so why stress him out when you know that money is a touchy subject for him?

Eddie gets his chair in position and locks the wheels. Grabbing the “oh shit” handle and the side of the door, he lifts himself up from his chair and pauses for a moment. His face is scrunched up from pain after already having physical therapy this morning. It was hard not to get him to over do it now that his mobility has started to improve, but you would rather him learn his limits than go back to being bedridden.

A few deep breaths and a quick shift of his foot puts his ass on the edge of the seat of your car. There’s a loud thump where his head bumps the low slope of your cars door, but he just rolls his eyes and laughs it off, much to your joy. You think about how two months ago when you started caring for him that he probably would have thrown a fit and fell in it if he were to go through this exact scenario now.

“Good job, Eddie,” you praise. He looks away from you bashfully, muttering a small thanks under his breath. Even if he wouldn’t admit it, you know deep down Eddie likes to be told he’s doing good. You’ve noticed it in the ways he reacts to you commenting on all of his achievements; the coy smiles and the way he starts to fidget with his rings when you sing his praises. 

Wayne grabs Eddie’s chair and puts it in the trunk. “You gonna be able to get this thing out when ya get there?” 

“Yep! I’m used to lugging wheelchairs around by now. No biggie!”

Wayne nods and rounds the car to Eddie’s side. As the two men talk, you hop into the passenger seat and start the car.

“Now don’t go and give her any trouble, Eds.”

“I know, I know,” Eddie says, rolling his eyes. “If anything she’s gonna give me trouble. I just know she’s gonna be having me dress up in every costume they have there.”

“That’s not true,” you say defensively. “I actually already know what I want you to go as, so if you don’t fight me on it then you’ll only have to try one costume on.”

“Why does that not make me feel any better?”

Wayne barks out a laugh before closing the car door. He waves the two of you off as you make your way down the driveway until he’s no longer in site.

“Okay, let me make sure I’m understanding you right.” Eddie holds up the large, white, round costume that you handed to him, eyeing it skeptically. “You want me to dress up as…an egg?”

You laugh through your nose involuntarily, trying and failing to keep your composure. In your hand you hold what can only be describe as a “sexy devil” costume that consists of a short red dress, a pair of devil horns, and devil��s spear.

“Yeah, and I’ll be the devil, see? We’d—” you snort again, “We’d be deviled eggs!”

A smile cracks on Eddie’s face, more amused at your inability to contain your own laughter rather than at your poor excuse for a Halloween costume idea. He give you a half serious look as he hands you back the egg costume without another comment.

“Awe, come on,” you say as you take the costume from him, “you have to at least admit it was funny.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. What’s the real idea that you have?”

You swap the costumes out from the rack for the ones you really wanted to do. Handing Eddie the long nightgown, you hold up what would be your costume; a long red cape and a plaid blue dress with a ruffle under the skirt. 

“Okay, so obviously that’s red riding hood,” Eddie says pointing to your outfit. “But what exactly is—” You hand him a wolf mask, which he takes from you and examines carefully.

“You’ll be the Big Bad Wolf, disguised as the grandmother,” you explain after a long moment of silence.

“Yeah, I gathered that,” he sasses. He takes a few more moments to think it over, and you watch the way he looks at your costume, then to you. There’s a shift in his demeanor that you can’t quite interpret, and before you can think too much into it he finally speaks.

“Alright, I’ll do it,” he says, placing the costume pieces in his lap. “Better than the deviled egg idea.”

“Well, maybe next year I can sway you into the deviled egg. But I guess this works, too.” Eddie straightens in his chair, and you swear you could see a small blush on his cheeks. 

After you gathered everything for your costumes, you and Eddie did a little more shopping around for some stuff to decorate your trunk with. Streamers, hanging bats, fake spider webs, and enough candy to feed a small village fill your arms and Eddie’s lap all the way to the check out counter.

As the girl behind the counter rings out your items, you notice she keeps taking glances at Eddie. He’s too busy looking at the check out candle to notice, but you keep an eye on her just in case.

“Is that all for you?” She asks with a pop of her gum. You nod and she give you your total. As you reach for your wallet in your purse, Eddie shift in his chair, pulling out his own wallet.

“I got it,” he says, taking a $20 bill from the billfold.

“Nope,” you say, pulling out your own money and handing it to the cashier.

“No, please. I want to pay--”

“It’s okay, Eddie. Save it and buy us a pizza or something sometime when I don’t feel like cooking your dinner.”

The girl behind the counter’s gum popped loudly as she held your change in her hand. Eddie shrank back in his chair, stuffing the $20 back into his wallet. You took your bags from the counter and plopped them in Eddie’s lap, much to his surprise.

“Here, if you want to help, you can carry these.”

As you push his him out of the shop, Eddie asks you to stop before going off the curb.

“What’s up?”

“Can we go into the Goodwill over there?” He nods down the strip of stores where the sign to the second hand shop is displayed in the window.

“Sure,” you say without a second thought, “Lets put these bags in my car and then we can go in there.”

The store is a little busier than you expected. Everyone from kids to adults were checking out the shelves for their last minute home made costumes and accessories to wear this weekend. It made you happy to see so many people excited about the event.

The boys told you that Halloween can be a big deal in Hawkins. But after the earthquake, those who still remained wondered if there would even be a Halloween this year. Apparently the mother of one of their friends, Lucas, joined the city counsel and pitched the idea in a city meeting and most everyone was on board.

“The only person who protested was Mary Cunningham,” Dustin told you in a hushed tone. “She said it wasn’t safe to have all of the towns kids in one spot for ‘easy pickings.’” Mary Cunningham was the mother of Chrissy Cunningham, the girl that was murdered by Victor Creel in Eddie’s trailer before he attempted to kill Eddie himself. Wayne never told you this, but, according to the boys, Mary Cunningham is still convinced Eddie was the one who tried to kill Eddie, despite the evidence that supports that it was Creel. You hoped that she wouldn’t show up to the event this weekend.

“No way!” Eddie pulls a tee shirt from one of the racks. You’re standing next to his chair rather than behind it to make room for people to go around you in the tight, over stuffed isles. You turn your body, hand on his shoulder as you try to let a lady and he kid move behind you.

“What is it?”

“It’s a Black Sabbath tour shirt! This one’s from a tour they did in the 70’s though. Like a tour they did in Europe. I wonder how it ended up in this dump of a Goodwill?”

“Sounds like it ended up here so that you could buy it.”

Eddie looked at the shirt solemnly. Most of his attire that he had consisted of plain tee shirts and pajama pants that had come from packs at the store. All of his clothes and other personal belongings had been swallowed up by the earthquake and destroyed. 

“Well…” he said after a few moments, “It is only 50 cents…”

“Perfect!” You pluck the shirt from his hands and fold it over your arm. “Keep looking. Maybe someone’s metal loving uncle passed away and his family brought his clothes here. I’m gonna go look at some pants for you.”

“There’s that beautiful smile that I love to see,” Sam says as you push the door of his office open. You gave him a small smile, setting his coffee down on his desk. He stood up, rounding the desk to embrace you in a tight hug, his lips meeting the top of your head to leave a kiss there. 

“Morning,” you say, taking a step back from him when he loosens his grip. “Sorry I couldn’t bring you one of these before today. Hopefully you made it through the week without.”

“Barely,” he said with a sarcastic huff. “Have to admit I missed seeing you more, though. Been busy with midterms?”

You give him an exhausted nod. Between getting everything together for this weekend, helping Tonya deep clean the house before her trip with Charles, and dealing with your midterms, you’d been properly worn down to a barely functioning human.

“Awe, poor thing,” Sam cooes at you, his hand cupping your face to rub his thumb against your cheek. “Sounds like you deserve a little fun weekend. My buddy is having a get together at his house weekend and I’d really love for you to come.”

“This weekend?” You ask. Sam nods. “Oh, no I-I can’t. It’s Halloween weekend and…I spend it with Tonya every year. It’s been our tradition since we were kids. Sorry.”

“Oh, that’s okay. I’ve been wanting to meet her and this Charles guy you hate so much. We can do a double date. Maybe some haunted houses or something?”

“No! No—I, um, I don’t do haunted houses.” That wasn’t a lie.

“That’s fine, maybe a movie at the drive in?”

“Sam, I’m sorry. It’s not exactly a tradition where we let other people take part in. Charles wont be there either.”

Sam’s shoulders slump as he sighs, his lips tightening into a straight line. 

“Okay, I get it. I’m not going to step on any toes. But…” Sam looks up at you through his lashes, “make it up to me next weekend?”

You breathe in, then out. It suddenly hits you that…you don’t really want to make it up to him net weekend.

“Sure.”

The Munson household is a busy one this cool, autumn Saturday. Eddie and the guys are in his room getting ready for the night. Their collective laughter and talking over each other is the only thing louder than the volume of the music that they have blaring. Even with the door closed you find it hard to think over the noise.

Wayne and Ben are in the kitchen prepping dinner for everyone before the nights festivities. They were joined by the infamous Hopper and Joyce Byers who brought the food by when they dropped off Will and Jane. The same Jane who was occupying the hall bathroom with you right now.

“They were trying to get you to dress up as one of the guys from Devo?”

Jane nods with an annoyed look. “Yes. They wanted me to wear a stupid red hat. I told them no, and said I wanted to go as Pat Benatar instead. She is my favorite singer.”

“Great choice,” your head bobs in agreement. You take a little more of the blue eye shadow on the tip of your finger and smudge it over her eyelids. “What’s your favorite song?”

“Heartbreaker,” she whispers shyly with a smile. 

“That’s a good one! I think We Belong is mine.”

“That one is a good song, too. It’s a love song.”

“Yeah, I guess you could say I’m a sucker for a good love ballad,” you shrug, washing your hands of the make up that stained your fingers. “Now, where is the wig you said you got?”

Jane helped you zip up the back of your dress just as there was a knock on the bathroom door. You pulled the red cloak over your shoulders as she opened it, her dad standing just on the other side of the doorway.

“Jesus, kid, is that enough make up?” He says, his voice raising a distraught octave. 

“Oh, look at you!” Joyce pushes past the disgruntled Hopper and into the bathroom. She looks Jane up and down, her excitement a clear contrast to Hoppers. 

“You look just like her in those pictures! I’m glad we were able to find this fabric to make this jumper.”

“Joyce, she looks like a—“

“Woah, Pat Benatar!”

Will and Gareth poke their heads around the corner of the door frame, both of them dressed like characters from Star Wars whose names you can’t quite remember. 

“Oh, you boys look adorable!” Joyce squeezes Will's cheeks, much to his dismay. Gareth lets out a snicker at will’s expense, only stopping once he’s caught your eye. Then, like usual, he slinks back out of sight. 

In his place Mike and Dustin pop up. Dustin is dressed like Darth Vader, his helmet in his hand as they barge into the bathroom. “Are you two ladies ready to go yet?”

“I think so,” you say, quickly clearing up the mess that you’ve made in the Munson bathroom. 

“Wow, El, you look badass!” Mike says, putting an arm around her for a side hug. 

“Thank you, Mike. She helped.” Jane says, pointing in your direction. 

“Oooh, I get it,” Dustin suddenly says as if he’s had an epiphany, eyes narrowing as he looks you up and down. 

“Get what?”

“Your’s and Eddie’s couple’s costumes.”

The eye shadow pallet drops from your hands with a loud clutter. “Wh-what are you talking about?”

“What do you mean ‘what am I talking about?’ You and Eddie are going as Little Red Riding Hood and the Big Bad Wolf, right?” 

“Well, yeah, but…”

“That’s, like, a classic couples costume!” 

“Oh, that’s so sweet!” Joyce says, her hand on her heart as she looks up at Hopper. “Didn’t you and Margaret Sanders go as the wolf and Red Riding Hood to John Collins’ Halloween party one year?”

Jim nods with a big, mustached grin. “Yep.” 

“I feel like an asshole.”

Eddie’s voice in the hallway catches your attention. Jim moves out of view, making room for Eddie’s chair as Jeff and Grant follow behind him. 

“You sound like one, too,” Jeff laughs from behind him. 

Eddie was being his normal grumpy self today. Enough that you were worried that he might call the whole thing off and not go. But, he seemed to manage to push through. Although you worried that the amount of people occupying his house was stressing him out a bit. 

As Jeff pushed him past the door, Eddie turned to look inside the overcrowded bathroom. Even with all of the bodies in the way, his eyes were on you in an instant. He didn’t say anything, more so looking at you like a deer caught in headlights until he was completely out of view. 

“Foods ready!” Ben calls from the kitchen. Doesn’t take much more convincing than that for everyone to file out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. You take the opportunity to finish putting everything away before joining in the chaos. 

Loud chattering fills the kitchen as everyone moves around the table to get their food. When you do come out of the bathroom, you see someone’s already put Eddie in the recliner, his tv tray set up in front of him as he patiently waited for everyone to finish getting their plates. 

“Hey stranger,” you say, stealing his attention from whatever daydream he was having.

“Hey,” he said with a tight smile. You eyed him suspiciously. 

“What hurts?”

He’s still for a moment, before he sighs and gives you a more genuine smile. 

“I’m just having those ghost pains or whatever.” His hand rubs over the clothed end of his thigh where his leg was severed.

Ever since he started physical therapy two weeks ago he’s been complaining of pains in his leg where it's not there anymore. You asked your professor about it, and she said it's not uncommon for amputees to have phantom pains. There’s not much you can do about it other than try to distract the person having them. 

“I see. Well, maybe eating something might help. Is anyone getting you a plate?”

Eddie shook his head with a shit eating grin. “I told them that you’d wanna do it.” You rolled your eyes, but he was right.

There was still a weird feeling that resided in you about being there for anything other than being Eddie’s caretaker. Even after two months of Wayne’s warm hospitality, a month of being taken in by the Hellfire boys, and being treated as if you’ve always been around by Joyce and Hopper, you still felt like an outsider looking in.

People on foot walked by as the cars loaded in through the entry gate of the Hawkins fairgrounds. You were sure that just about everyone in this town was showing up tonight. It made you buzz with excitement to see all the costumes and decked out cars. 

“Excited?” Eddie asks you, his eyes darting around at the crowds. There was an indecipherable tone to his voice. 

“Of course,” you say, the car moving up a bit to keep up with Hopper's cruiser in line. “Are you?”

“Is Eddie excited about Halloween?” Dustin’s head pops between yours and Eddie’s from the back seat. He slaps his hand on Eddie’s shoulder and gives him a little shake. “Eddie is probably the biggest fan of Halloween I know. He made a whole one shot campaign based on our party trying to escape from Michael Meyers.”

“What? No way, that sounds awesome. Halloween is probably my favorite Halloween movie.”

“It is a classic,” Eddie says with a grin. “Although, I will say that Friday the Thirteenth did freak me out for a while after I saw it for the first time. Still can’t believe that it was his mom the whole time—”

“His mom the whole time?” The two of you say it in unison. You look at each other for a moment before laughing. Dustin makes an audible gagging sound from the back seat and Eddie wastes no time reaching back to swat at him. You shush the both of them as Hopper pulls ahead, making your car next in line.

“Hi, folks,” the older gentleman says, shining a flashlight into the car and almost blinding you. “Hop took care of your cover charge and told me to make sure you guys get the spot next to him.” The man hands you a paper with the number 66 printed on it. It looks like it’s cut in a way that lets it hang from your rear view mirror, most likely to keep track of the amount of cars coming in to participate in the event.

As the man gives you instructions on how to find your spot inside, you cant help but you notice the subtle way he glances to Eddie in the passenger seat. You’re not sure if the man recognizes Eddie or if he’s trying to, but you don’t stick around long enough to find out. Eddie slips on his wolf mask once you take off inside of the fair grounds. 

It doesn’t take you long to find your spot. The Hopper-Byers group is all helping out to set everything up for Joyce and Hopper to pass out candy. The back of the cruiser is set up to look like a tent, with a fake fire, a stuffed bear, and a blue blanket meant to be a lake side view. 

Dustin pulls Eddie’s chair out from the back seat of your car, helping him out as you pop open your trunk. The effort they put into their theme almost makes you feel self conscious of your trunk, the ‘theme’ looking more like a Halloween store exploded rather than anything cohesive. But then you remember it was put together by Eddie and his friends, and you decide you love it just the way it is.

 “All right!” Joyce calls out once your cars are all set up. She sets a plastic bowl in Eddie’s lap and starts pouring candy into it. “Let’s get this party started!”

“Joyce don’t start getting to crazy before the kids get here,” Hops says teasingly as he pulls on his trapper hat. To go with their theme Hop and Joyce are dressed up like campers, which, in hind site, was probably a good call considering how cold the nights have been getting in Hawkins. You were already starting to regret your costume choice as the breeze hit your legs where your dress didn’t cover.

“Isn’t that the point?” Jane asks. “Is she not supposed to scare the kids?”

“Not enough that they wont come around to get candy,” Will retorts.

He’s half paying attention to the conversation as he looks around. Suddenly his hand shoots up, waving and shouting to the Hellfire guys as they walk through the cars. They all gather together and migrate to stand around Eddie, bags and pillowcases out towards him.

“Trick r treat!” They say in a sing song unison, laughter breaking out among them. Eddie’s head drops in the mask, his body shaking as he joins in with the guffaws of his friends.

As you watch them interact, you wonder what faces Eddie is making under the mask. Recently, you’ve felt like you’ve been able to see the real Eddie slip through the cracks. By now you can tell when one of his smiles is fake or genuine, as well as when his anger is real or just out of pain. But, with the plastic mask to hide behind, will he still feel the need to keep himself so reserved tonight?

It didn’t take long for the night to get going. Spirits were high as children, teens, and adults all made their ways between the cars to fill their bags with candy and other goodies being passed around. 

You could admit you were a little nervous when Joyce gave the bowl of candy to Eddie earlier. But, either no one could tell it was him under the wolf mask, or no one cared enough to say anything.

Eddie seemed to be enjoying himself, too. After a while he started to compliment the different costumes in a scary wolf voice, which the kids that came by loved. He even went out of the way to put candy into the trick r treater’s bags, not caring about the scars on his hands being seen.

“Gonna need another refill,” he says to you as the last group of kids move on down the line.

“Roger that,” you say, jumping up to grab another bag of candy from your trunk, pushing the fake spider webs to the side. 

Some of the bags slid to the back, so you have to really reach in to get your hands on it. Just as you get a grip on the plastic bag, you feel something pulling on the skirt of your dress. You pinch the plastic of the bag, dragging it out with you as you stand up straight. 

Looking over your shoulder, you see that Eddie’s hand is holding on to the hem, pulling it taut over your ass. You’re about to ask what he’s doing when the chuckling from a group of passing boys reaches your ears.

“Thanks,” you say to Eddie, smoothing out the skirt of your dress. His mask looks up at you, and his hand quickly retracts from where it was holding on to you. 

“Y-you’re welcome,” he says, voice muffled by the mask.

As you pour more candy into his bowl, a group of three young girls approaches Eddie.

“Trick r treat,” the girls say, holding their bags out for Eddie.

Eddie is still for a moment, grabbing the candy wordlessly and placing it into the girls candy bags. When he gets to the last girl, he hesitates before letting the candy drop inside.

“Where’s your brother, Lady Applejack?” Eddie suddenly says, still using his wolf voice.

The girl's eyes go wide, shifting between her two confused friends before nodding to the side. The two girls move on to Joyce and Hoppers truck, leaving Lady Applejack behind.

“Munson?” She whispers with bemusement. “Is that you under that creepy mask?”

“The one and only,” he says, his hands gesturing wildly to himself.

The girl looks up and down at you, then back to Eddie. “I didn’t know you had a girlfriend.”

You shuffle in your spot awkwardly. You’d gone the whole night with no one saying anything besides Dustin, and you were hoping that it would stay that way.

“We’re not dating,” Eddie says neutrally. “She’s my caregiver.”

“Caregiver? Is that not the same thing as a girlfriend?”

“Basically.” The words spill out of you like vomit. “It’s all the non fun parts of being a girlfriend without any of the perks.” The girl laughs, but Eddie remains still.

“I like her, Munson. You should keep her around.”

“You know, you never answered my question,” Eddie says, clearly desperate to change the subject.

“Huh? Oh, you mean about Lucas?”

Lucas. That was the friend that the boys bring up a lot. He’s a member of Hellfire but hasn’t been to any of the meetings.

“He’s probably still at the hospital with Max. Our parents tried to get him to come out tonight since my mom was the one who put this whole thing together. But…” The girl trails off, looking down at the ground as her attitude fades away. “You know, he still feels guilty. About…what happened.”

Eddie nods slowly. Max was another victim who got out alive like Eddie, but she’s been in a coma since March. Eddie doesn’t talk about her, even if the boys bring her up when talking about Lucas. 

“Erica, come on!” One of the girls friend’s call, motioning her to join them.

Erica shifts back into her previous demeanor, looking at you and Eddie once again. “I gotta go. Nice seeing you, Munson and Munson’s girlfriend.” Before Eddie could correct her, she was taking off with her friends.

“Sorry,” Eddie says to you, but refusing to look your way.

“It’s fine. If anything I should be apologizing.” You plop back down in your folding chair with a huff. “Dustin said something earlier about our costumes being a couple’s costume and I’ve been cursing myself for over looking that.” 

“Dustin would say something like that,” Eddie grumbles under his breath.

“They’re over here!” Dustin’s voice calls out from a few yards away, his Vader mask in his hand as he motions two people behind him. A guy and a girl dressed as Wham! follow an excited Dustin to your car. 

“Speak of the devil,” Eddie says, slumping down in his chair. “And he’s brought his mommy.” You look at Eddie confused. The pair were definitely not old enough to be Dustin’s parents, maybe older siblings at best.

“Dustin, are you sure we’re at the right car?” The girl asks, shooting you a nervous smile.

“Yes, this is the right car. I literally came here in it,” Dustin shook his head and reached into his bag. After fumbling around a bit, he pulled out a full size milky way and presented it to Eddie. 

“Snagged this for ya from the Martin’s car,” he said with a toothy grin. Eddie grabbed the candy and examined it and you could feel the smile he had from under his mask. 

“Good work, Henderson,” Eddie says, looking up at the boy. Dustin salutes him before standing to the side, looking at the couple behind him with an I told you so expression.

“Holy shit,” the guy says, his law slack.

“Is that really you, M—” The girl cuts herself off before she can finish. The two move closer to Eddie, speaking in hushed tones.

“How’re you doing? Dustin told us that him and Mike have been over to your new place,” the girl asks. You don’t know why, but the way her hand rests on his shoulder irritates you.

“Yeah, he told us the lab set you up with a really nice house. Still not enough after what we all went through in my opinion..”

“Steve,” the girl cuts him off sharply. 

“What? We haven’t seen the guy in six months! Am I not supposed to talk about it?”

“It’s fine, Robin,” Eddie says.

“It’s not fine,” you interject. All eyes are on you now, stunned as if they just noticed you were there.

“S-sorry, we didn’t mean to leave you out,” the girl stutters.

“Yeah, uh…” Steve looks you up and down before straightening his posture. “You must be the caretaker that Dustin’s told us about. Name’s Steve. Steve Harrington.” 

Steve Harrington stands in front of you, offering his hand for you to shake. You take his hand and introduce yourself. Steve Harrington is handsome in a similar way to Sam you think. 

The feeling of eyes on you makes you turn your head. The light catches just right you can sort of make out Eddie’s eyes through the holes of the mask.

“What did you say?” You ask, looking back up to Steve after zoning his question out.

“I just asked if you were free sometime. Maybe we could get a bite to eat before you go over to Eddie’s some time?”

“Oh, sorry,” the words poured out of you again. “But I’m seeing someone.”

You’re not sure if it’s just you, but it suddenly felt like the air got thicker. You could feel Eddie’s eyes bore holes into you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to look at him.

“Shit, my bad,” Steve says, taking a step back. “I thought Dustin said you two weren’t together.”

“We’re not,” Eddie says in a clipped tone.

“Yeah, we’re not, Eddie and I. I’m, uh, I’m seeing a guy from my school. Sam…”

“Ohhhh, okay,” Steve nods, “Gotcha. Well, if things don’t work out—OW!”

“Take a hint, dingus!” Robin whisper yells at Steve. She looks back to Eddie with an apologetic look. “We should probably go, but call one of us some time and we’ll sneak some movies to you, okay?”

Eddie wordlessly nods, his focus on the bowl of candy in his lap now. Steve and Robin give their goodbyes and move along, bickering between themselves as they go. Dustin lingers with you and Eddie for a moment, unsure of what to do with himself.

“Do, uh…"Dustin clears his throat, attempting to lighten the mood. "Do you guys want to go check out the fair at all?” Dustin points with his thumb over his shoulder. “There’s some pretty cool stuff at the back. A haunted house, some games…you know, fun stuff. I’ll, uh, sit and watch the candy.”

You look over to Eddie waiting for his response. After several moments Eddie finally nods, lifting the plastic bowl and handing it to Dustin. You rise from your seat, moving out of the way so Dustin to take your spot.

When you turn to see if Eddie is ready to go, you find that he’s not there. Instant panic sets in, as you look out to the crowd to find him. For a split second, you can see the furry hair on the back of his mask a few cars away. Bobbing and weaving through the clusters of people, you grab the handles of his chair and stop him, making him jerk forward.

He looks back, body tense until he realizes it’s you, his shoulders slumping forward.

“Where did you think you were going?” Anger evident in your tone.

“What do you mean? I thought you were right behind me.” The cutting tone of his voice hits a nerve.

“Eddie, I…” You can feel a whole lecture on the tip of your tongue. But the more you think about it, the more you realize that Eddie is his own person. As much as you’ve grown to want to protect him, he probably knows more about these fairgrounds and all of these people than you’ll ever know. He was a fully functioning person seven months ago, not needing anyone’s assistance just to get through a crowd of people. 

“Do…do you want me to leave you alone?”

The two of you stand in the middle of the moving bodies without a word. It feels like the two of you are in slow motion as people move past you.

Eddie sits up, shaking his head. “No.”

That’s all you needed to hear. Grabbing onto the handles of his chair, you push him through the crowd at a leisurely pace. It takes a few minutes for hm to say something, but the paper mache ghost from Ghost Busters hanging off of a cars trunk catches his attention.

“Woah, that’s awesome!” Eddie points it out to you.

“Do you think they made that?”

“I bet they got it at a Halloween store.”

Conversation flowed like that between you as you both rated the cars out of 10 as you passed. There were more cars like yours that decorated just enough to be passable, but a good majority of the citizens of Hawkins really do mean business when it comes to Halloween. 

“They made their car look like a dragon!” Eddie shouts over his shoulder to you. “How is that not the best car?!”

“It’s totally an awesome car, but, I’m sorry, the literal hearse with a guy dressed as Dracula in a coffin was hands down the best.”

Eddie slumps back in his chair in frustration, his mask looking up at you dramatically while you push him. You smile down at him, happy to see him having so much fun. He jerks forward and clears his throat, mask moving quickly as if he’s looking for something.

“Oh, look they’re selling popcorn,” Eddie nods to a booth set up off to the side of the cars. It looks like a girl scouts group of some kind, all the girls at the booth wearing patch covered sashes over their costumes. The sign on the booth read “Twenty-five cent popcorn. Proceeds go to Hawkins Rebuild Fund.”

“Hmmm,” you hum curiously. “We should get some. I could use something salty to cleanse my palate from all the candy.”

“Yeah, I think I might puke if I even think about a Reese’s Cup right now.”

You grab a bottle of water and a bag of popcorn to split between the two of you. Not wanting to stop your perusing of the cars, you continued on with Eddie popping a piece under his mask for him and then lifting a few pieces up to your mouth for you to much on.

Continuing on, you finally reach the back end of the fairgrounds. A few fires were going with groups of people gathered around. They talked over cider or roasted marshmallows to shove between graham crackers, adding their favorite candy pieces to complete their sweet treats. 

A few games were set up. Kids and tipsy grown men bobbed for apples in a big trough of water. A partially enclosed area was set up for smaller kids and their exhausted parents to take a break away from the older kids. 

But in the very back was a make shift haunted house, it’s entrance painted to look as if you were walking into a large jack o lantern. Around it were several tarps meant to cover whatever the haunted house was put together with, various paper decorations taped to it to make it look more festive.

“We should go in there,” Eddie says excitedly. “Wonder if it’s dark enough I can take this mask off for a bit.”

“I don’t know Eddie…” you say hesitantly. You weren’t the biggest fan of haunted houses. Being scared from a movie is one thing, but the lack of control you could have in a haunted house made you uncomfortable. 

You also never knew what was going to set you off. The last haunted house you went to with Tonya and some friends in high school was set up to look like an actual house. It didn’t really bother you until one of the actors snuck up behind you, whispering in your ear. It immediately took you back to…

“Awe, come on. Don’t tell me you’re scared?” Eddie teases. “I doubt that Hawkins could make an actually scary haunted house. I bet they have one of those rooms where they make you feel peeled grapes and tell you that it’s eyeballs.”

“I’m not scared,” you say with a level tone, “I’m more worried about you. What if you have a night terror and end up needing me to sit at the end while you sleep tonight?”

Eddie freezes, his eyes wide and looking into yours through the holes in the mask. You feel like you said something wrong, but you’re not sure what.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t—”

Eddie starts to laugh, clearly trying to get a rise out of you. It both relieves and pisses you off. 

“Eddie, you’re such an asshole! I thought I hurt your feelings!”

“You did, little red,” he feigns offense, his hands resting over his heart. “I can’t believe you would make fun of me. I’m wounded. How will you ever make it up to me?”

“Oh my god,” you say with exasperation. “I’m so sorry Mr.Wolf. I guess I can be brave and take you through the haunted house if that will suffice.”

Eddie fake sniffled and nods. “Yes, I think I may be able to forgive and forget your offense if you lend me your company inside this estate.”

The two of you get in line, chatting for the few minutes it takes to get to the front. When it’s finally your turn, the lanky teen at the door looked down at Eddie. 

“Uh, be careful with your chair, man. Should be good, but, uh, there might be some bumps between the rooms. That alright?”

Eddie nods and the boy ushers the two of you inside. It looks like the haunted house might be made of several sheds or storage units placed together to make a long string of rooms. A lot of the rooms were more silly than scary, but a few people dressed in costumes were able to get some scares out of you and Eddie.

Well, you more than Eddie.

You hadn’t even realized that you were leaning so close to him. It was a reflex to bury your face against him when you got scared, laughing the whole time as you pushed on to the next room. He didn’t seem to mind, probably too busy laughing at your reactions to care. 

You wondered if the actors were talking with each other, because it felt like more people were trying to scare you the further into the haunt you went. By the end you were practically strangling Eddie, your arms wrapped around his shoulders  with your face against the back of his neck as he guided you both through the exit that exited to the other side of the fairground lot. 

“They were so mean!” The words came out in strained huffs as you tried to catch your breath, still laughing from all the nerves. Eddie probably would have been keeled over with how hard he was cackling. He lifted his mask briefly to wipe the tears from his eyes, his hair sticking to his forehead with how much he was sweating under the plastic.

“Holy shit,” he barks out. “That was sooooo worth it. I want to see how bad you get scared in a haunted house that’s actually scary.”

“I can’t believe you’d want to put me through that after everything I’ve done for you,” you say with faux offense. 

“Can’t help it,” he says with a shrug, “I guess I’m a bit of a sadist.”

“Hmmm why does that not at all surprise me.”

The rest of the night went on without a hitch. The guys showed up again eventually, making base between yours and Hopper’s car to trade candy. Jane told you that she got lots of compliments on her costume and thanked you over and over for helping her with her make up. Joyce took the opportunity to get everyone together to take pictures. Apparently Will’s older brother, Jonathan, left one of his cameras with them to take pictures while he’s off at college and Joyce took that task very seriously. 

“Let me get one with the two of you!” She says to you and Eddie. Eddie looks at you and you shrug.

“Do you want to lean on me?” You ask him.

“What do you mean?”

“So you can have a picture not in your chair. I can hold you up--oh we can make it look like you’re trying to eat me?”

Eddie stands, leaning against you as you have your arms around him in a tight hug. Joyce takes a few steps forward to get his chair out of frame, giving you both the go ahead to make a pose. Eddie lets go of you, posing with his hands as if he was about to grab you, the mouth of his mask about an inch from your face. You hold on to him with one arm, letting him lean into you as you let your other hand fly back with fake terror. 

The bright flash from the camera has you grabbing Eddie fully once again. You were able to feel his leg wobbling, still not used to holding up his whole weight. Eddie plopped back into his chair, letting out the breath he had been holding.

After a while the festivities began to wind down as cars started making their exit. When Eddie’s back started to hurt from being in his chair for so long, you decided to join the rest of the crowd and leave. Dustin helped load Eddie up in the car as you cleaned up any mess that had been made.

“Dustin, why don’t you ride with us?” Joyce calls over from their car. “Eddie’s probably tired and ready to get home. You’re staying at the Wheeler’s anyway, right?”

Dustin looks at Eddie, whose mask was up enough to let his face breathe, to you, who looked like you were ready to climb into bed and pass out. Gears turned under those tight curls. A vision of the two of you “accidentally” falling asleep in each others arms on the couch and waking up all embarrassed, until you inevitably confess your feelings for each other and get married and grow old together was clear as day in his mind. 

“Yeah, sounds good. Thanks Mrs.B.”

“Do you even want to attempt a shower?” You ask Eddie with a yawn, eyeing his devil faced pumpkin that the two of you carved that sits next to the front door.

“I feel gross after sweating in that mask,” he yawns in reaction to your yawn, fumbling to get his keys in the lock. “But, honestly, I’ll probably fall asleep sitting in there.”

Eddie pushed the door open, and wheels inside. You can barely get a foot in the front door when Eddie stops abruptly. You follow his gaze to the couch, and are surprised to see Ben leaning against Wayne. His head rests on Wayne’s shoulder, Wayne’s bald head lays against Ben’s head as the two of them snore intermittently. 

Eddie turns slowly back towards you with wide eyes. You place your finger against your lips, giving him a silent shush as you slowly maneuver his chair to his room. Eddie doesn’t say a word, even after you close the door to his room. He’s as pale as a ghost, still looking as you as if he was waiting for you do to…something.

“What’s wrong?” You ask him, and he flinches. He finally blinks when he realizes that you’re not going to say anything, tension leaving his body until he’s visibly exhausted.

“Nothing, I just…ugh I really need to shower. But I’m so tired.” He sprawls out in his chair, hands running over his face and through his matter hair. The icky feeling of being outside and around people begins to make your skin crawl, too, as you feel a shower calling your name.

“Well, the longer we wait, the more tired you’re going to be. Let’s get you in there so I can go home and take one, too.” Eddie perks up, looking at you with knitted brows.

“You’re not staying the night?” 

“Well, my sleeping spot is currently being occupied,” you say with a cheeky grin, nodding toward the living room. 

Eddie presses his lips together, deep in thought as he tries to come up with an solution so you don’t have to make the 30 minute trek home.

“You could…sleep in my bed? I could sleep in Wayne’s room. If the love birds wake up, they’ll just have to deal with it.”

Thinking about sleeping in Eddie’s bed makes your chest flutter in a way that you hate. Well, rather, you want to hate it. But you really don’t. The idea of being in his bed with him penetrates your mind, and you think of anything else to push it away. Like how you’d finally told him about Sam earlier in the night. You still needed to psycho analyze his reaction to the news, which was how you usually passed the time in the car.

“I’ll think about it.” Eddie nods, accepting that as your answer for now.

You set up the shower for Eddie, hardly a word between the two of you with the combined low energy. You quietly snuck Eddie’s dirty clothes into the laundry room as he showered, taking a few minutes to pick up the kitchen in hopes to lessen the work load for Wayne tomorrow.

When you returned to the shower, Eddie had just turned off the water. He was humming a song to himself, probably to keep himself awake as he went through the motions of his shower. 

He pulled the curtain open, and slowly blinked at you. You understood his message, taking the few steps to stand beside him. You went through your drying routine, getting his back and gently squeezing and scrunching his curls in a towel to dry them. There was no way he would be able to blow dry them tonight so you just took your time getting them as dry as possible. Eddie would start to doze off until the resistance of his hair pulling would wake him again.

The two of you got into position for Eddie to stand and pivot into the chair. You held on to him, and he held onto his towel, waiting for your count to stand. A quiet one, two, three had him pushing off of the shower seat with his leg.

But he was still tired, and he began to lose his balance. One hand shot to hold your arm, and the other grabbed the bar attached to the wall. You felt his body starting to go down and reflexively turned him towards his chair. His grip on the wall threw you off, causing you to fall into him when he finally let go and landed in his chair. 

You braced yourself against the arm rests as the floor was slick under you. The top half of your body was pressed into his, mimicking the closeness of an hug. When you went to pull away, you felt his grip on your arm tighten.

“Don’t move.” He says next to your ear.

“What?”

“My towel fell.”

You snort, resting your forehead against his shoulder, wet curls pressing into your skin. “Why do you have such a hard time keeping a towel on?” 

Ever since the first shower where he almost lost his towel, at least once a week his towel seems to find its way out of Eddie’s hands and onto the floor. 

To Eddie’s defense, it was hard for him to maintain his grip, and you couldn’t hold him up and keep his towel in place, so it was something you’d become accustomed to. If he could feel his towel slipping Eddie would usually give you a heads up so you could keep your eyes above belt level.

After a beat you can feel Eddie’s smile against your cheek. “Only around you,” he says with a sarcastic tone. You suck in a breath, and hope he can’t feel the heat that rises to your cheeks at his playful comment. 

“I’m starting to think you do it on purpose.” 

Eddie shakes his head. “If you close your eyes and move, I can reach the towel myself.”

“Okay,” you say, positioning your feet so you can stand up straight.

As you move your foot back, it bumps against something and catches you off guard. Reflexively, you open your eyes to look back and move your foot accordingly. Once you find your footing again, you shift to face forward once again. But, in your sleepy haze, you forget a crucial move; closing your eyes again.

Still looking down, your eyes manage to land directly where they’re not supposed to. 

It was like a car crash. You knew you shouldn’t gawk, but the site of Eddie’s dick as it lay against his leg had you frozen in place. It was long, reaching half way down his hairy thigh, and thick. What made it worse was that he looked half hard; whether on it’s way to full mast or starting to soften you couldn’t be certain.

Suddenly you became very aware at how revealing your costume was and how close your body had just been against his. Hell, you’d been touching and leaning against each other all night. Was he like this because of you? Surely not. You scold yourself for even thinking about it.

Regaining your composure, you push away from his chair and get your footing. You snap your eyes closed so quickly, hoping that he didn’t notice that you were looking. It felt like you had been staring for an eternity, the image of it seemingly tattooed into your corneas even as your eyes were closed, but in reality it was no more than a second. 

Even if you had seen it, you’d assured him plenty of times before that it wouldn’t be the first dick you’ve ever seen and it wouldn’t be the last with the field of work you were going into. But you also respected his privacy, maybe understanding a little more as to why he didn’t want you to see. If he said anything, you wouldn't make a big deal about it.

“Okay, you’re in the clear,” he says, his voice not giving any hint to if he knows what you saw. You open your eyes as he’s backing away and back into his room to get dressed, leaving you to clean up. Which you do quietly, willing Eddie’s dick out of your mind but failing as you pick up.

By the time you joined him in his bedroom, he was still in his chair, fully dressed and his head nodding forward as he tried to fight off sleep.

“Ready to get in bed?” You ask him in a low voice so not to startle him. 

He looks up at you drowsily, “Are you gonna stay the night?” You shake your head and his pouts up at you. 

“I’m sorry, Eddie. I’ll be okay getting home. I’m…feeling very awake now.”

And you head plenty to think about on the drive home. It didn’t feel long enough to analyze everything, your thoughts spilling over as you stare up at your ceiling fan in bed. 

thank you for reading.

[hugmekenobi]

Heal

A Bad Batch Post S3 Oneshot

Gif by @barissoffee

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Summary: Shaking the effects of Tantiss is easier said than done

Warnings: Literally one use of (Y/N), swearing, hints of Tech/Phee, references to past pain and torture, angst, hurt/comfort, nightmares and trouble sleeping, descriptions of illness (headaches), reader is hard on herself, suggestive dialogue, light PDA (kissing, teasing touches), mentions of food, me making up what everyone is up to on Pabu, fluff and happy ending

Masterlist for S1, S2 and S3

Word Count: 7.2K

Rating: 18+

Author's note: Okay, not gonna lie, I struggled with this one. It was a last minute idea as I was rewatching and writing the final few episodes of season 3 but it worked and felt a lot better in my head and when it came to writing, my brain was not my friend lol. I hope it's still enjoyable! The next oneshot is the story I've had planned for months so that should be a smoother process haha

It had been a few weeks since you’d all taken up official residence in Pabu.

Shep’s offer of setting up homes for you all stayed true.

You and Hunter had been put in a hut perfectly designed for the two of you that was a short walk away from the water and there was even a spare room for Omega who alternated between sleeping in your home and the home Tech, Crosshair and Wrecker all shared.

The three other clones may have been grouped together but there was plenty of room, and not a lot of time was spent indoors anyway.

Wrecker had taken to fishing like, well, like a fish to water.

Crosshair did a bit of everything, helping out with tasks of whoever needed assistance but he mainly he kept up with practicing shooting with his left hand. He wanted the practice, and he genuinely enjoyed it. He didn’t miss being a soldier anymore but that didn’t mean he had to renege on his skills.

Tech spent much of his time with Phee or assisting Shep in rebuilding parts of Pabu that still needed it and upgrading equipment.  

Omega often kept close company with Lyana and the other young reg clones or she went off with Tech to plan out a potential search for lost or salvageable pieces of the Marauder- the two of them had dreams of rebuilding new a ship with as many pieces of their old home as possible. It was yet to be undertaken but the vision was there.

The task of reuniting the children from Tantiss with their families had been successful but with that final mission complete, you and Hunter were also in the same boat as Crosshair and still yet to find your official niche on island. For now, you both were just relishing in the peace and each other’s company.

One thing you had managed to achieve was finding a way to finally get in touch with Lyra again, who- despite being filled in on everything that had happened since you parted ways on Christophsis- still managed to scold you for the lack of communication. But after hearing you all were alive and settled, she’d sent you all packages of more suitable island clothes with promises to visit soon.

Everything was coming together and so you were feeling one with the island life.

However, life here was not without its challenges.

The impact and aftermath of Tantiss remained a constant shadow that would still find ways to rear its ugly head. Something you and Hunter in particular found yourselves dealing with.

--

“I figured we could have the party in the next couple of weeks right here in the colonnade and, I don’t know, you could slip away or…�� Shep trailed off as he saw the way Hunter’s brow furrowed in pain.

“Uh huh.” Hunter agreed distantly. He didn’t want to ignore Shep, especially when he was doing him the favour, but fuck had the sun always been this bright? The blinding pain behind his eyes and throbbing in his skull was getting harder to dismiss.  

You were a casual observer and listener to the conversation between the young reg clones and the adult clones that had remained on the island- Deke, Stak and Mox had no shortage of questions for them. But you sensed a rising discomfort and then you caught the way Hunter kept pinching the bridge of his nose and squinting to get away from the glare of the warm sun. “Excuse me.” You politely removed yourself from the conversation and hurriedly walked over to where Shep and Hunter were conversing. “Shep, I’m sorry to interrupt but do you mind if I steal him away for a moment?”

“Not at all.” Shep bid the two of you farewell with a smile.

You lightly rested a hand on his upper arm. “Hunter? Another flare up?” You figured, keeping your worried voice quiet.

Hunter just about managed a nod and said through gritted teeth, “But I can wait it out. Shep-”

He would attempt to come up with an excuse every time and every time you wouldn’t even entertain it. “Come on.” You carefully wrapped an arm around him and guided him back home.

--

You opened the door and carried on through to the bedroom. You gently prompted him to sit on the bed as you knelt down and took his shoes off before you shut the bedroom window to cancel out the noise outside and closed the blinds to keep the sunlight out. You kept your voice low and monotone as you instructed him, “Lie down.”

Hunter did as you said and rested on his back.

The routine was second nature to you. He hadn’t had headaches like this for a while but since Tantiss and because of what he’d suffered there, they’d become more frequent. His senses hadn’t quite readjusted back to what they used to be.

You moved silently throughout the house as you went to the freezer and came back with the cold compress you stored specifically for these moments and placed it over his eyes. “I’ll just be in the living room if you need anything. Try to sleep.” You whispered caringly before you lightly squeezed his hand and made to leave. However, you had barely stepped away from the bed when Hunter’s hand caught your wrist.

“Stay.” He requested through a wince.

“I don’t want to overwhelm you.” You cautioned quietly. You had remained a couple times before, but it had never been a certainty that he wanted you to stay when he was going through this. You always waited for him to give the okay.

“You can’t.” He murmured. He needed you here to ground him in a way the usual methods could never do.

You removed your own shoes and supported his back as you sat him up and slotted yourself behind him.

Hunter rested his head against your chest.

You readjusted the compress slightly once you were both in a comfortable position. “This okay?” You asked as you softly massaged each of his temples.

Hunter let out a tranquil sigh and he could already feel the discomfort receding. You always knew just what it was he needed from you in these moments. “Perfect.”

--

Hunter wasn’t the only one still feeling the lingering toil of Tantiss. Your screams of terror and the way you thrashed next to him woke him up. He called your name and shook your arm to wake you up. “Hey, hey. Easy, easy. It’s alright.” He assured you as he saw your eyes widen in fear.

You shot awake and hastily sat up, your breathing hard and uneven.

“You’re okay. I’m here.” Hunter whispered soothingly as he sat up alongside you.

You closed your eyes and let his voice be the only thing you focused on.

“You’re alright. It was a bad dream.”

Right yes, a bad dream.

“Hold on.” Hunter pressed his lips to your clothed shoulder before he got out of bed and ran a cloth under some cold water.

You worked on getting your breathing back under control. You ran a hand over your face and felt the beads of sweat dripping down your temples and down your neck and back. Your sleep top was sticking to you uncomfortably. But you forced yourself to concentrate on anything that didn’t remind you of the nightmare you’d just escaped. You took in your secure and familiar surroundings of your bedroom to calm yourself down. You weren’t back there. You were on Pabu with Hunter. You were safe here.  

Hunter slid back in bed beside you. “Arms up.” He prompted delicately. When you did that, he carefully removed your sweat soaked top and tossed it to the side of the bed– he’d deal with it in the morning- and placed the cool cloth to the back of your neck and spine before he tenderly dabbed at your temples. He then put a replacement top back over your head and continued to press the flannel around your forehead and neck.

“I’m sorry.” You rasped as you hid your face in your palms in embarrassment. You hated this. He would already have tough days and you couldn’t even offer him any relief in the evenings. The two of you had gotten into a rather unfortunate ritual where you would comfort him during the day and then the roles would switch as soon as night fell.

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for.” Hunter reassured you lovingly. He placed the cloth on the bedside table and rubbed his hand up and down your back to ease away the lingering tension and to help settle you back down. “Same one?” He guessed.

You nodded but kept your face hidden from him. “I’m just standing there. I’m watching him hurt you over and over again and I’m not doing anything to stop it.” You said, your voice cracking with each word. “Then he goes to the rest of you- to Omega. I’m completely frozen and all I can do is watch you all writhe in pain. I keep fighting to move but nothing happens. I’m just so useless and I stand by and let it happen. You’re crying out for help, and I just stand there.” You whispered with plenty of self-loathing behind your words.

Hunter shushed you consolingly. “But that’s not what happened. It’s just the nightmare talking.”

“Is it? Because it feels an awful lot like that’s what I did.” You said with self-directed disgust.

““You didn’t do nothing. You didn’t give up. You did what you thought you needed to do to get us out of there alive.” Hunter reminded you.

“Imprisoned.” You corrected.

“Alive.” Hunter countered.

You knew there was no sense in arguing with him over it. “I should be over this by now. I coped after Christophsis. I don’t know why this is sticking with me so much.” You said critically instead.

Hunter was all too familiar with this line of argument. As soon as you admitted to the nightmare and the fear it brought, you started looking for ways to berate yourself for feeling the way you were. “You couldn’t process Christophsis on your own time. You were in a position where you were forced to carry on. And I don’t think going through and being impacted by torture has a time requirement.”

You finally half-turned to face him. “Do you really believe that?”

The doubt in your voice made his throat constrict and chest tighten. “I know it.”

“But dealing with this is annoying.” You mumbled self-consciously and you averted your gaze once more.

“Do you get annoyed when you’ve needed to help me?”

You lifted your eyes back to him. “No, of course not.”

“Exactly. You help me through those episodes. Why do you think I’d treat you any differently?” He rubbed his thumb along your cheekbone. “You still need to give yourself the same treatment you give other people.” He said caringly.

You leaned your head against Hunter’s shoulder and just gave a series of reluctant but agreeable noises to signal your acceptance of his statement.

“You’re talking to me though. That counts for something.” Hunter praised, angling his head so he could kiss your forehead.

“Yeah, I’m a work in progress.” You managed to say with some light-heartedness before your voice went solemn again. “Just don’t give up on me… please.”

“Never.” Hunter promised with steadfast seriousness.

Your eyes flickered shut and you snuggled closer to him as he ran his hand up and down your arm in soft, delicate patterns.

“Want to sleeping try again?” He suggested after he felt your breathing and pulse settle back down.

You gulped but agreed to give sleep another go. “Okay.” You laid back down readjusted the covers you had kicked off in your sleep-panicked state. You breathed deeply as you closed your eyes and willed yourself to at least get a couple uninterrupted hours. But the darker part of your nightmare, the part you couldn’t vocalise, lingered with you and you didn’t know how to get past it.

Hunter wrapped his arm around your side and pulled your back tight to his chest, but despite all you opened up about, he knew you were holding something back. It was the same every night and he knew sleep would continue to elude you.

--

This new day was nearly over. Dusk had come and gone but the concept of night and sleep filled you with a deep anxiety. You needed to clear your head before you even thought about winding down for the night. “I’m going for a walk; I’ll be back soon.” You said, giving Hunter a chaste kiss to his lips before you exited your home.

Hunter gave you a slight smile as you parted from him, and he could only watch you leave. He had never felt so helpless.

He knew he couldn’t quite help you in the way you needed but there might be someone else who could.

--

“Hey there, Hunter.” Phee greeted cheerily as she opened the door to greet the clone.

“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” Hunter asked apologetically.

Phee rolled her eyes, “Pfftt no way. He’s been at this for hours, if you can get his attention onto something else, be my guest.”  She led him through to the living room.

Tech grunted his greeting as he sought out the tool that he needed for the task he was completing for Shep. The island had a healer- Dalia, but she mainly operated out of her home because, until recently, that suited just fine. But when the attack on Pabu occurred, Shep and Dalia had found themselves ill-prepared for accommodating the seriousness of the injuries that followed so Tech was assisting in expanding and updating her equipment and resources. AZ was already a big help with that, but more was needing done. It was a longer but important project that Tech was taking very seriously.

 “Sorry about the mess.” Phee said with an annoyed yet affectionate stare in Tech’s direction, but she was not surprised when the clone did not appear to even register that she’d spoken. She had stopped trying to get Tech to tidy as he went about altering this latest piece of machinery since he’d insistently claimed there was an order to the chaos around him. The entire area in which he was working was covered with random tools and intricate pieces of machinery. Phee struggled to see how this all equalled a system since all she saw was an array random pieces of metal taking up her living room floor. It didn’t truly bother her though; it was just another quirk she was fond off. Her appreciation for his intelligence and passion outweighed a little untidiness.

“Don’t worry, it’s something I’m very used to.” Hunter said lightly as he carefully stepped over some discarded screws.

“Sit down.” Phee encouraged, gesturing to a spare chair as she took a seat on the couch across from where Tech was working in the middle of the floor. But when Hunter made no move to do so, Phee properly looked at him and she noticed the distant and slightly nervous expression Hunter donned. “Everything alright?”

“I need your help, Tech.” Hunter said in answer.

Tech spoke for the first time since Hunter arrived as he found the spanner he needed, “I’m not yet finished with this. Once I’m done-”

“I don’t need you to fix anything, Tech. It’s about (Y/N). She’s struggling right now and-”

“Well, we know that she has a habit of taking things on by herself. A habit both of you have shared for quite a while.” Tech said plainly, not taking his eyes off the medical equipment he was fixing up. “I wouldn’t take her refusal or dismissals personally.”

Hunter bit back his frustrated huff. He knew attempting to get his brother’s focus when he was so absorbed by a project was always going to be challenging. He went to speak again but Phee beat him to it.

Enough was enough. Phee firmly nudged Tech’s good thigh with her boot, “Would you stop playing around with that and actually pay attention to what he has to say?”

Tech snapped out of his intense concentration. “Right, yes. Sorry, Hunter.” He started officially packing up. Once he was done, he gave his brother his full attention and it was then that he saw the genuine worry on Hunter’s face which told him it was more important than any mechanical repair. “What’s going on with her?”

“She keeps having nightmares from her capture on Tantiss. I can’t remember the last time she slept through the night.” Hunter took a ragged breath. “And it’s not like she’s keeping them to herself and that’s why they’re so bad. She’s doing everything we’ve worked on. She talks to me; she lets me in and help her, but I know there’s something else she’s keeping hidden. And it’s because she knows I can’t offer her the right words, or she wants to protect me from whatever it is she’s not telling me. I’m stuck and she’s not getting any better and I can’t offer her anything more than what I’m currently doing.”

“So, how exactly can I help?” Tech asked, rather puzzled as to why his brother had come to him with this dilemma. He wasn’t exactly known for providing helpful assistance for this type of issue. It wasn’t that he never wanted to, it just always didn’t come easily to him and usually you and Hunter would always be able to work through it yourselves.

Hunter began tentatively, “Y-your experiences were- were similar. I’d thought about Crosshair but what he went through was a bit different and from what you’ve told us, it sounds closer to what she’s been through. I hate to ask it of you but-”

“Where is she?” Tech asked, getting to his feet.

“If you’re not comfortable doing this I understand. It’s a lot to talk about and-”

“Hunter, just tell me where she is.” Tech interrupted with a firm reassurance to show that he truly didn’t mind.

“Down by the shore.” Hunter told him through a grateful sigh.  

Tech nodded and got ready to leave for the beach.

--

You breathed in the fresh and clean sea air, a gentle breeze wafted through your hair. The moonlight cast the water and sand in a luminous white glow. It offered you a peace you were yet to find in your own mind. The faint but demanding whines of the hound you’d acquired on your walk down had you smiling to yourself as you focused on the sounds of the waves lapping on the shore.

Tech saw you seated on the sand, Batcher waiting for you to throw a stick for her. “Did you know that gravity and the gravitational pull of the moon creates a phenomenon called tidal force, which is what causes the ocean tides to change?”

“I mean… I knew it was something like that.” You straightened your shoulders and managed a tight smile in his direction. “Hey, Tech.” You hoped you didn’t sound as exhausted as you felt.

Tech picked up on the heaviness in your voice despite your attempts to conceal it. “Also, did you know that water absorbs the red light of the colour spectrum, leaving the blue for us to see.” He added as he threw the stick for the hound.

You hummed out your acceptance of the fact as a reply whilst Batcher returned the stick but- after greeting Tech- decided she’d had enough and curled up beside you. “You didn’t come here to share ocean facts, Tech.” You said after a moment. “What’s going on?”

“You’re right. I have another purpose in joining you.” Tech admitted as he sat down on your other side.

“Which is?” You asked leadingly.

“Hunter asked me to. He’s worried about you.” He gave you a chance to speak but you offered nothing, so he carried on, “From what I hear, you’re having difficulty sleeping due to nightmares. They are based around your confinement on Tantiss?”

You cleared your throat to buy yourself some time before you answered, “Yeah.” You brought your knees to your chest.

“Can you tell me more? Whatever you’re comfortable sharing is fine.”

You breathed deeply and peered up at the starry night sky. “Well, you know about Christophsis.”

Tech nodded. That was something he’d been told about on the shuttle back.

“Tantiss… Tantiss was different. I took beatings but they were a treat compared to that fucking droid. Hemlock did a much better job of getting the most out of that damn serum. It got harder and harder to fight it. He knew exactly what buttons to push.”

“I’m afraid I had a helping hand in that.” Tech said sheepishly.

You placed your hand on his shoulder. “I don’t blame you, Tech. Not at all.” You reassured him earnestly.

“Regardless, his methods would’ve been that effective because I told him what would work.”

You patted his shoulder to indicate that you really didn’t hold any of that period against him before you removed it and placed it back across your bent legs. You surprisingly found that you kept wanting to talk so you carried on, “I’d never be able to ignore him, he’d always be able to get in my head so, instead, I’d would look for things to take me out of it.”

“A reasonable response.” Tech agreed. The times when he’d resisted, he’d acted similarly.

You felt irritation rise in you. You’d been weak, how could he not see that? “He told me you were alive, and I used it as a way to keep pushing back against him. Omega didn’t doubt it and she only heard him say it once.”

Hunter had warned him about this before he’d left. He expected you to say things designed to make him reprimand you instead of sympathising with you. The part of ‘no emotion’ element of the Jedi Code was deeply engrained in you. Despite your affinity for handling attachment and genuine love for them, when it came to your own emotions, you had gotten a bit too good at supressing or dismissing them. “Years fighting in a war has a way of creating a certain cynicism- or realism- depending on your point of view. It helps with survival and enduring each battle. I may have gotten out of it but even I have to admit that the odds were slim. I called out the plan. I knew what I was doing, I didn’t expect to live, and I didn’t expect you all to assume that I had.” Tech easily explained away the argument. “I’m grateful for Omega’s optimism and hope- it is a wonderful quality of hers and it got me out of there and brought me back to you all-, but I never expected you to believe I lived.”

You couldn’t accept the fact that the people around you were okay with how you’d acted. Every night was a painful reminder of how you’d failed them. “What I don’t understand is why Tantiss is still affecting me in this way. I got over Christophsis just fine.”

“No, you didn’t process Christophsis. You were thrown into mission after mission and were left with no choice but to keep going. It is highly plausible that Hemlock’s own similar torture was harder to get through because it was a reminder of a traumatic time that you’d already experienced but not healed from. Plus, I don’t believe feeling the effects of torture has a time requirement.”

You sighed heavily, “You’re the second person to tell me all that.”

“Does that not tell you something?” Tech prodded but he did it gently.

“I guess.” You said through a weary sigh as you ran your hands through the sand to distract yourself. “I handed myself over to Hemlock though. I gave up.”

“The guilt you’re experiencing over agreeing to Hemlock’s terms is natural. You-”

“It wasn’t guilt. Not wholly.” You said, your voice so quiet it barely registered over the rhythmic lull of the waves.

Tech glanced at you in surprise, but you were keeping your head down, stroking Batcher’s snout- the dog seemed to sense your distress and had nuzzled closer to you. He allowed the silence to grow as he patiently awaited further explanation from you.  

You swallowed thickly as you went to speak again. “I was relieved.” You admitted, it was the first time you’d ever said the words out loud, and you instantly wished you could take them back. You wrapped your arms around yourself as you awaited the disappointed and shameful remarks from Tech.

“What were you relieved about?” Tech asked calmly.

That hadn’t been the response you were expecting. “Um-” You searched for the words to answer him. “When I was-” You broke off and started again and you found yourself being more honest than you’d anticipated. “When I was in that training room watching Hunter be tortured and I heard Hemlock say that he was going to do the same conditioning to Crosshair again and to Wrecker too… I gave him what he wanted. Throughout my time there, he wanted me to join him and that’s what I was prepared to do. But as I said it, there was a sense of relief. Finally, I could stop fighting him. The torture he put me through would end. And in the dream- nightmare- I keep having, as much as I hate what’s happening, part of why I can’t move to help any of you is because I’m just relived it isn’t me.” You visibly tensed as you finished speaking. Saying that last part out loud caused you physical pain and your stomach churned nervously as you waited for judgement. There had been a reason you couldn’t share this with Hunter. It sounded so selfish, so pathetic.

“I understand that.”

You angled your head to face him. It was your turn to wait for him to talk.

Tech took a grounding breath before he elaborated, “In my time imprisoned there, Hemlock wanted to know all he could about you all. He knew there would be a time where he’d have to face you all again. I didn’t quite experience the same beatings you took; it was always psychological. But whenever I showed willing to give him information, all I felt in that moment was a profound relief that the torment and pain would end. Granted, that swiftly became guilt as soon as he left but I couldn’t deny the respite those few minutes of me telling him about you all gave me. Now, did you only feel relief at it being over? Or was it relief that you could join him and do his bidding?”

You thought back to that time and realised what he was getting at. “No, it was because I knew if I gave him what he wanted, then at least they wouldn’t have to go through any more agony. At the time, imprisonment felt like the better option than becoming one of his operatives and experiencing that level of hurt.”

“Precisely. Your sleep is being haunted by the worst outcome. It’s praying on the flash of relief you felt and twisting it into something more than what it was. If you accept what happened and stop fighting it, it loses its power. You didn’t do anything wrong, you acted how you needed to. The only person that has the power to blame you is yourself. No one here does, sometimes it just helps to hear it out loud once in a while and it’s true. You resisted him for as long as you physically could. Those circumstances would’ve cracked anyone.”

You looked at him thoughtfully. “Is that how you did it?” You asked quietly.

“Well, I didn’t. Not always.” Tech reminded you, assuming you were referring to how he resisted Hemlock’s torment.

“No.” You released another deep sigh. “You seem to have settled here. You’re coping with it, and you were there for a long time.”

“I was in hell on Tantiss but not so much anymore. Being reunited with you all has really helped. Though I think if I had to watch any of them get hurt the way you had to, it would be different.” As he spoke, Tech realised why Hunter had come to him for this. He was sharing this part of him with you because he knew you were the only one that would truly get it. There was no worry of judgement, no worries of saying something too jarring. You would understand him just as he understood you. “I’ve accepted what happened to me and how I reacted to it but you’re the only one that knows those particular details of my experience. Phee and my brothers do not. Family helps with some of the burden but until you’ve had the unfortunate time of living it, their support can only do so much. We need each other it would seem.” Tech said with a kind look in your direction.

You widened your eyes at his openness. You were incredibly touched by that, and you didn’t take the lightly. “Thank you, Tech.”

“You asked a question, I merely answered.”

You shot him a look, “That’s not the only thing I’m thanking you for.” After speaking to him and fully unburdening yourself to someone who could only understand where you were coming from without the worry of saying the wrong thing or being too much, you felt like a weight had been lifted off your chest. You weren’t plagued by all the horrible and conflicting feelings that had followed you since Tantiss. You could breathe. You were free. You gently squeezed his hand as you said, “Thank you for what you’ve done tonight. For all of it.”

Tech shrugged off the thanks but smiled at you all the same. “We’re family, it’s what we do.”

--

You walked through the door to your home and took your shoes off.

Hunter walked out of the bedroom as he heard you come through the door. “Hey, how was your walk?”

You didn’t answer immediately. Instead, you just drank him in. You took in the way he leaned against the doorway, the book he was reading dangling from his hand. The way the soft linens of his sleep clothes framed his body. The way he’d still kept and worn the necklace you’d given him all that time ago. And the way he was looking at you with such deep care and affection, it made your heart clench and emotions clog up in your throat- you didn’t trust yourself to speak.

Hunter took your silence for upset. “I had to tell him. I thought-” But he didn’t get to finish his sentence as you strode towards him and embraced him.

You hugged him tightly. “Thank you.” You whispered.

Dropping his book and wrapping his arms around you instantly, Hunter rested his cheek on top of your head. He didn’t need or expect you to share the details of the conversation with Tech, he’d realised that you needed a different kind of comfort and that was okay. All that mattered to him was that it helped you.

You let the warmth of his soothing hold flow through your body, and you kept your voice hushed as you said, “I want you to know that it’s not that I didn’t want to tell you it all.”

“I know.” Hunter replied softly as he caringly caressed your back. He would not break away until you wanted to.

You pressed your face into the crook of his shoulder. Even though he had sent Tech your way, you didn’t want him to feel like he’d let you down or anything along that vein. “You did everything right. I needed you there… I still need you there. I can’t get through it without you but…” The words to describe just what it was Tech gifted you got lost and you frantically searched for them so he would know why you hadn’t just come to him with it.

The last thing Hunter needed or wanted was you feeling like you had to reassure him on the issue. “Sweetheart, all I wanted was for this to get easier for you. I know that there are emotions and parts of that experience on Tantiss that I will never fully understand- as much as that kills me, I wish none of it had happened to you or Tech in the first place but that doesn’t change the fact that it did. You needed more than a shoulder to lean on, and if Tech gave you that, then that’s all that matters to me. I won’t stop being there, whatever it is you need, I’m here.”

The wave of emotion came rushing back and tears threatened to spill from your eyes, and you found yourself pressing yourself tighter to him still so there were absolutely no gaps between you. “Thank you for not giving up on me.”

“I love you, giving up is never an option.” Hunter murmured as he kissed the crown of your head.

“I love you too.” You croaked as you fought through the lump in your throat.

You stayed like that for a couple more minutes before you finally pulled away.

Hunter wiped away a few stray tears that had escaped your eyes. “Fancy an early night?”

“Yeah.” You said through a deep exhale as the exhaustion you’d been fighting with came crashing into you. “That sounds good.”

--

3 weeks later.

“How’s your pain? Anymore headaches?” You asked Hunter as the two of you wandered arm in arm through the main square. You had been keeping a watchful eye in the time that had passed but he hadn’t had any bad episodes of late.

“Everything feels back to normal.” Hunter replied. “And you? How are you sleeping these days?” From what he could tell, you were sleeping through the night but that didn’t necessarily mean they weren’t still there.

“No nightmares at all.” You said with a relieved sigh. The weight of what you’d endured was no longer keeping you down. It had no control over you anymore. You’d thrown yourself back into mediating again and that also seemed to help a lot.

You both walked in easy silence, smiling at the clones from Tantiss who had stayed and at the merchants shouting out enticing deals and offerings from their stalls as you passed by.  

“Although, there’s one thing I need…”

You glanced at him expectantly.

“Can you try it now? I should be fine.”

You hadn’t done it since settling down here in case it was too much. “You’re sure?” You double checked.

Hunter nodded. It was the final step to the normality that he craved.

You both paused and headed over to the side walkway of the colonnade that offered shelter from the open area. You reached out into his familiar Force signature, the connection you formed with it giving you an extra sense of security and warmth. How does this feel?

Hunter closed his eyes and breathed out a serene sigh as he heard your voice in his head, but it felt like everything finally clicked back into place. Then, he felt the gentle press of your lips against his. He reacted automatically and placed his hands on your waist as he returned the embrace.

“What was that for?” He whispered against your lips as you parted.

“It’s part of the check up process.” You murmured before you took half a step back to look at him properly, but you kept your arms looped around his neck so that he was still close to you.

Hunter gave you a fond smile. “Ah, of course.” He sweetly stroked his thumb along your jawline.

You shut your eyes and leaned into his touch.

“Are you happy?” Hunter asked after a few beats of silence.

You dropped your arms and looked at him in surprise. “Yes, of course I am!” You looked at him, worry furrowing across your brow. “What brought that on?”

Hunter awkwardly ran a hand through his hair. “I know things haven’t been easy since we arrived here. It didn’t get off to the peaceful start that I’d hoped for. I just want to make sure it’s still what you want and that you’re definitely feeling better.”

You were caught off guard by the emotions that caught in your throat. What did you do to deserve such a man? “I am very content and happy here; Hunter.” You took a hold of each of his hands. “I’m very content and happy being here with you.” You let out a faint, slightly embarrassed laugh, “I am very much in love with you, you silly man. Every day that I wake up beside you, every day that I get to come home to you and every day I just get to be around you is a day that reminds me that how lucky I am.” You removed your hands and lightly followed the lines of his face tattoo. “Are you happy?”

“Completely.” Hunter murmured as his eyes fluttered shut as he fell completely complaint under your touch.

“Good. Settling down here is what exactly what I want, things just weren’t settling down as quickly as I would’ve liked but it’s different now. We’re both doing much better, it’s a good thing.” You kissed his cheek and delicately brushed your fingers through the shorter strands of hair at the front of his head. I love you, that’s never changed, and it never will. Does that about cover everything?

“Almost.” Hunter said huskily as his own love for you overcame him.

Before you could question what he meant, he tugged you in tight to him and kissed you passionately. You felt him cradle the hinge of your jaw, silently asking permission to deepen the kiss and you granted him access without a second thought. You tangled your fingers in his hair and pressed yourself close to him. You allowed yourself a few minutes to just get lost in the pleasure he was giving you, but you remembered where you were and with a groan, you withdrew from his embrace.

It hurt you to pull away and from the way Hunter just insistently pushed you back against the stone column and carried on kissing and raking his teeth along your neck, he wasn’t impressed with stopping either. “We- we came here for groceries.” You hummed distractedly as you found yourself titling your head to give him easier access.

“So, we’ll get them tomorrow.” Hunter responded simply as he kissed behind your ear and brushed his fingers under your shirt and along the soft skin of your stomach.

“We have- have no f- food and-” You attempted to protest but now his mouth was doing wonderful things along your pulse point that was making you feel very lightheaded.

“That’s fine. What I’m in the mood for, only you can give me.” Hunter teasingly dipped his fingers just under the waistband of your leggings.

You forced yourself to get a grip before you were too far gone. “Get off.” You playfully shoved at his chest with an exasperated shake of your head.

Hunter inclined his head in surrender, “How about you shop, and I meet you at home?” He offered as he stopped his teasing and removed himself from you.

“Is this your bizarre way of just wanting to get out of a chore?” You joked, crossing your arms and feigning irritation.

“No, I just think that if I stay, we’re going to wind up getting done for public indecency and it would be entirely my fault.”

Despite his admission, you still saw a faint but lustful glint in his eyes and you knew he was envisioning precisely what would happen if the two of you remained by this column. And you knew both of you would decide it was worth the risk. You gulped as you hastily said before you lost control of yourself, “I’ll see you at home.”

Hunter released a low chuckle before he kissed you softly once more, the promise of what was to come still lingered behind the action despite his best attempts to keep it brief.

You took a few hesitant steps away him and then gathered yourself and went about your task- your walk brisker than before.

--

Hunter watched you before he moved out from the shelter of the pillar. He spotted Omega sitting with Lyana by the Maya tree. He called over to her.

“What’s up?” Omega asked breezily as she jogged over to him.

“Can you round up the boys and meet me at home? I’ll get Echo on comms.”

“How come?” Omega asked curiously.

“There’s a mission I’m gonna need all your help with. But it needs to just be the five of us.” He indicated to where you were making a purchase. “Think you can get Lyana to delay her return?”

“A mission? Then why can’t-” An excited gasp left her as she saw the silent but confirming look that Hunter gave her. They’d all been eagerly waiting for this. “Yes! I’m on it!” She sprinted off back to Lyana, chaotically relaying the instructions before she ran go find the others.

Hunter laughed to himself as he saw her enthusiastic departure before he hustled off back home and readied the comm channel for Echo. It didn’t take long for the clone to answer.

“You better be calling for the reason I hope you’re calling for.” Echo said by way of greeting.

“Think you can help me out?” Hunter replied with a validatory nod at the holoimage of Echo and he saw the way Echo’s shoulders lifted as he realised it was finally going to happen. Hunter had talked to them all about it in the days after arriving on Pabu and it had been met with an enthusiastic yet somehow still teasing response. It reminded him of how he felt back before the two of you officially got together, with the others just waiting for it to happen. He’d wanted to do it sooner, but your circumstances changed, and so he wanted to wait until both of you were recovered. And, whilst they’d all accepted his decision to hold off, they had been impatient for this day for both genuine well-being purposes but also because they wanted it for the two of you- his family were very supportive and insistent on him doing this. With things faring better, he felt comfortable doing it now. “I don’t want to take you away from anything urgent or-”

“Name it!” Echo said with a pleased smile.

Before he could get into what he needed Echo to do, he heard the door open. Hunter half-turned to see the crowd of eager and motivated faces made up of Omega and his brothers.  

All of them gathered round him and Echo’s hologram.

Hunter took a deep inhale and exhale. In a strange way, this was going to be one of the most important yet daunting missions he’d undertaken. “Alright, we don’t have long before she gets home. Here’s what I need…”

Tagging: @noeasyisnoisy, @notgonnaedit, @arctrooper69, @andreaaxy, @dominoeffectsworld, @allthingsimagines , @nightmonkeysstuff , @jellybeanstacey0519 , @callsign-denmark , @superbookishhufflepuff , @qvnthesia @justsomerandompersonintheworld

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[bengiyo]

Peaceful Property: There’s Nothing Noble About Being Poor

Coming off of episode 6 of Peaceful Property, I am feeling some consternation because once again GMMTV has given us a poor character who’d rather be poor than take the money. I’m also frustrated about the baiting of this show, because I don’t like TayNew enough to forgive Home his greed or his cowardice. 

From GMMTV we’ve had Akk having to work his ass off to get to Paris to be with Theo, Mork working his ass off to eventually get back to Day, Sailom not taking money in Dangerous Romance, Sand not taking the money in Only Friends, Kang upending his entire life for Moo in Only Boo! When I looked into stories that seemed to consider the perspective of poor people, only Dark Blue Kiss really seemed to consider the class dynamic of Pete and Kao, and Cooking Crush with Prem taking the needed money. 

This problem isn’t unique to GMMTV, and it’s been something that has annoyed me in global media for decades. We get these kinds of storylines where poor people would rather be poor than take the money of a rich person because rich people fund the media. For them, not taking their money is the harshest punishment they could envision because it’s their primary mechanism for solving problems. However, I come from the Brian Kinney school of thought that “There’s nothing noble about being poor.” On top of that, we know that Pang and Peach have no money, because they’re living in a goddamn bar that Home owns because they have no money. How could they go back to the apartment they got evicted from for lack of payment if this was so? Sure, it’s a TV show, but damn is it annoying that I’m asked to empathize with Home being sad about losing his friends over freaking out about housing security for the people whose lives he ruined.

Now, let’s talk about the lives he ruined. It’s actually so, so much worse that Home was completely sober when he hit Peach and fled the scene. He’s lived a pleasant life this entire time, when he had every reason to believe he killed someone and let his uncle cover it up. I care a lot about the future of cities, and car violence is one of the biggest violent killers of poor people in cities. The fallout of this accident led to Peach’s ongoing terror of ghosts, screwing up badly at work, and his sense of culpability in the death of his mentor. Peach and Pang’s lives are measurably worse because of his injuries, and it baffles me that the show would have Peach take zero compensation from the people who hurt him when he and his sister are struggling. I get Peach being proud in the moment, but I just don’t see a person faced with scarcity of that level choosing to walk away from money that he’s more than owed.

Speaking of Peach, I am so confused by the plotline that has him trusting Home with the food safety of a man he almost killed the last time he worked in a restaurant. It feels like this show just doesn’t take its own violence seriously. The drama of this episode is about Home losing his friends because he wasn’t forthright about the violence he inflicted on them, and they risked Chai-un’s safety to prove that Peach could trust home? Please be serious. They should have tossed out both of those bowls and started over rather than risk that man’s life again. Peach wants to become a chef again, and this is a huge misstep!

I just don’t think I really enjoyed this last episode much at all. I liked seeing Peach not crumble in front of ghosts, but that’s about it. I feel like the show is relying on Newwie’s charm (and TayNew shipping) to have the audience root for his redemption, which I am on the side of Peach wanting nothing to do with that man ever again. He deserves to be angry, and it felt so weird to me that the one lashing out at the end was Home as our focus point. Next week they’re going to be working near each other, and I’m just gonna be irked that once again we have a story about the inherent nobility of poor people who can afford to turn down much needed money to make a rich person sad.

[worriedvision]

tighnari x reader where the reader cries a lot, over small things and over small sad stuff. (not quite crybaby but emotional) one day reader is going to like the tavern place in sumeru (yk the place where everyone was in alhaitham's demo?) and hears tighnari complaining and talking bad about reader and a time where they cried over something small with his friends (like cyno, kaveh, haitham) and then the reader well (cries over that, and just avoids him for a while) BUT its gonna be a fluffy ending where he apologizes and everything he said after the reader tell him the stuff they heard. you recently did one of my requests, i was very pleased with it, so, thank you very much, lovely!

As someone who cries a lot over small stuff, this is so me lol! Gender neutral reader, sad ending unfortunately. I was going to make it a happy one, but it felt right to make it a sad ending lol

--

There were times that you didn't know how you managed to get with Tighnari of all people. He was the one who didn't try much, in fact at the beginning of your working life with him he couldn't stand your weeping over small problems. Any minor problem that you caused, anything that could be easily fixed, anything that someone else was going through? You'd cry at the drop of a hat, there were times that you'd be embarrassed after thinking about. He was the one who asked you out, and you landed up crying before saying yes as if it was a damn proposal.

You'd try to get better with grounding yourself a bit, distancing yourself mentally from things that would make you cry, but you'd still cry at small things. You suppose that was your 'superpower' that was actually a pretty pathetic power.

Your most recent crying episode was from some idiot who had consumed a mushroom that caused them to hallucinate - the hallucinations being scary. You couldn't help but cry when seeing them distressed, which was what alerted your boyfriend to find the poor person quicker. When you apologised for crying yet again, your boyfriend brushes it off and states that it's just part of who you are.

You thought he was past the point of being angry whenever you showed these emotions, so you decide to meet up with your friends for drinks. As you get to the bar early, you decide to wait outside for your friends. Kaveh happened to go in, waving and giving a cheery hello as he nips in to hang out with friends. Shortly after, a friend shows up and you both enter.

Upstairs, you can hear your boyfriend huffing to himself.

"What's wrong?" Cyno asks, Tighnari instantly ready to reply.

"I'll tell you what's wrong, my partners a crybaby!" Tighnari tuts, Kaveh clearing his throat as he knows you're no doubt hearing this.

"You knew about that part of them long before you were dating." Alhaitham states, crossing his arms at the same time that you get up to leave.

"Well, I thought they would calm down with their feelings by having a partner, and I am attracted to them physically." As he finishes the statement, you've left the bar with tears in your eyes.

--

The next week, you don't give Tighnari any affection. It was clear to you that he didn't like one of the most obvious things about you - how overly empathetic you are. He didn't have the time to think too hard on this, which gave you more time to reflect on the state of your relationship.

It becomes increasingly clear that you just were not right for him. You were lucky to get some time with him as a partner, but you had the impression that he saw you as someone he had to babysit whenever you started to cry. It didn't matter that he was physically attracted to you, he wished you weren't so emotional about everything.

With him also being the boss, you knew you would need to find work elsewhere as soon as you could. As much as it hurts you, you two were like chalk and cheese.

He deserved someone he didn't need to be on eggshells around, and you deserved a partner that cherished the fact you could put yourself in the position of others and really feel how they felt.

--

When your boyfriend asked you to meet him at the bar, you were ready to tell him you were breaking up with him, and you had been mentally preparing yourself to not cry.

"I hope you are well, I'm afraid I have some bad news." Tighnari states, pushing a paper and a pen towards you. "You are fired. I am also breaking up with you - your empathy is something I cannot work with as an employer, as well as a boyfriend."

It was like a slap to the face, you were ready to just cry a little bit at the conversation.

But instead of being sad, you're angry. Grabbing the pen, you feel several sets of eyes on you as everyone around you is seeing and hearing everything. Signing the paper aggressively, you slam the pen down as you make direct eye contact with your now ex-boss and ex-boyfriend.

"You did this to embarrass me. You did this to emphasise something I already know - I cry too much." You spit out, not a single tear leaving you as you got straight to anger.

"Fuck you, Master Tighnari. I hope I never see you again."

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

I'm watching too much stuff. And things are not slowing down with all the things coming in September. So I'm gonna try and keep this short. As much as that's possible given the amount of shows.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇭 4 Minutes [6/8] - Finally some answers. I haven't read all the theories floating around about this last episode and what it means, but I'm firmly on the side of, there is another alternative timeline, probably from when Tyme is dying at the start of the show, and also very much in agreement with everything @lurkingshan wrote here that these are just imagined do-overs and nothing will actually change in the real world. Which would be my preferred way.

🇹🇭 Addicted Heroin [2/10] - Haven't watched this weeks episode yet. My review for the first two is here.

🇹🇼 First Note of Love [4/12] - I like them a lot. And I like the pacing of this. I love the intro song. But with a second couple being introduced I think I'm gonna get frustrated having to wait a week for a 20 minute episode. I felt that way a lot during Kiseki.

🇯🇵 I Hear the Sunspot [10/12] - I am annoyed.

🇹🇭 I Saw You In My Dream [7/12] - May the boyfriend era commence. I am enjoying this one. I'm guessing we still have a bit of angst coming and I'm hoping for a good explanation for the dreams.

🇯🇵 Mitsuya Sensei no Keikakutekina Ezuke [6/7] - Just such an incredible show. This week brought the pain and I'm still unwell. As if Frito getting sick wasn't heart breaking enough, that ending left me in tears. I cannot believe we only have one episode left. I am not ready to say goodbye to the three of them.

🇹🇭 Monster Next Door [6/12] - My favourite thing about this is definitely Big. His presence on screen is great. But I'm not fully connecting yet for some reason.

🇹🇭 Peaceful Property [1/10] - It's a lot of fun. Yeah, I know it's not a bl. But it's bl adjacent so it goes here. Also in my head it's gonna be a bl no matter what. Possibly even with a gl side couple. The mind is a powerful thing.

🇯🇵Sugar Dog Life [4/10] - I love Isumi. I really liked that they didn't drag the girl storyline and it served it's purpose. Isumi is now very much aware of it's feelings. I'm looking forward to the date episode.

🇯🇵 Takara No Vidro [9/11] - Takara, my love. This boy has my whole heart. I can't believe I'll have to say goodbye to then tomorrow. I'm bracing for part pain, part happy. Please Japan don't let me down.

🇹🇭 The Loyal Pin [1/16] - I'm waiting to binge.

🇹🇼 The On1y One [4/10] - This show will hurt and I will love every second of it. I really like the look of this show and how we get those little insights into Jiang at the end of the episode. The actors are doing great and I specially love Benjamin Tsang facial expressions. I'm curious to see these two together and how their dynamic will work considering their circumstances. Also, always happy to see the revolving door of cameos Taiwan always grace us with.

🇯🇵Twilight Out of Focus - It's so beautiful. I'm enjoying that we get different couples even if sometimes it feels like we could have more time with them. I like Rei/Shion a lot, but I do miss Mao and Hisashi. 🇹🇭 The Trainee [10/12] - Just to get it out if the way, the Bamhee/Judy storyline was definitely the right call and @lurkingshan was right all along. Also the way the office came together was delightful and it's great to see Pah getting everyone together and once again being the best friend ever. Now. THE OFFICE FLIRTING!!! I was losing my mind giggling like an idiot. I love them. It's pretty obvious at this point that it's mutual and of course Ryan will need to actually be told that, but I still think Jane will wait until the internship is over before confessing or starting anything official. I can't wait to watch all the interns reaction next week. I love it here.

QL - Finished

🇯🇵 Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko! - I'm disappointed in this one. It started off so strong but by the end it lost me. I love Hiroko but I feel like they betrayed the character. And that ending with the kiss in the office was ridiculous. Actually most of the end was weird in the way that it seemed to contradict what came before. I like that they finally got together but it didn't feel as good as it could've.

🇹🇭 Century of Love - Started of great and imo fell apart by the end. I don't think it was consistent all the way through and the mythology was all over the place. Daou did an amazing job though. Also Ju is one of the greatest female characters of the year.

🇯🇵 Cosmetic Playlover - Pretty show. Final thoughts here.

🇹🇭 Knock Knock, Boys! - Probably the biggest surprise of the year for me. It's great. I like the development of both couples. Even if near the end I got a tiny bit annoyed with Peak, I really liked the conclusion of it all. Latte is a great character and the very rare slut unjudged by the narrative.

🇹🇭🇨🇳 Meet You At the Blossom - Look it's great that we got a chinese bl, but this was not it for me. Let's hope this one helps get others made though.

🇹🇭Love Sea - It was fine. I enjoyed Mut but in general I just never connected to this show. And Muk annoyed me to no end. I was so happy to see Aya again and now I just wanna forget that she was ever in this and simply remember her as Yiwa.

🇹🇭 SunsetxVibes - I don't even have words. I don't know if it was my lack of attention or if it never actually made sense but I never really got what the mythology was all about apart from inspiring a truly horrendous looking necklace. I was slogging though this one and I guess the finale was fine.

🇹🇭 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans - The sides were great, their chemistry was on point. I really wanna see them again. The mains were my favourite thing about Pit Babe but I just didn't like them here.

🇹🇭 The Rebound - I just have to accept that MeenPing will always have bad scripts. They are pretty together but this was a mess.

Dropped

🇹🇭My Love Mix-Up!

Rose Watches OJBL

Pornographer: Spring Life | Playback | Continued Spring Life Finally finished the novelist. Final thoughts.

A LOT of stuff coming this month so if you haven't checked it out, here is the post with all announced upcoming qls for September with a couple of updates that I made today.

As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful week💜

[midnight1nk]

So, this week's episode...

[spoilers below cut]

WOW, a Mario Reacts! It's been a long time, hasn't it? Hell yeah, I can work with this!

(no bc seriously, I just finished watching ep. 7 of Arcane before this and I need an emotional break, yeah I know the rest of Act 3 is gonna kill me)

(the following is my live reaction:)

oh hey, Mario! Wassup?

jigsaw, is that you?

oh nvm, hello Swag! nice to see you again since last episode

I'm about to commit a crime [*strikes a pose then walks away*]

I'm willing to work in a government office just so I can come up with an acronym like, gee idk, Y.U.R.I. or something (I should've been a worker in NASA)

NO STOP STOP WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! WHAT. ARE. YOU. DOING?!

At this point, Mario, I would just give up

[*clears throat*] mejor me muero, ni modo que sigo con estos porquerías. bueno como dice Mario, bye bye [*drinks some water*] alright I'm back

TADC? ah, just a normal Saturday

no thoughts, head empty

honestly, mood

well, in his own way, yeah

[*echoes announcer voice*] VR, the new era of entertainment

...mr puzzles? nah jk jk

oh, Four's theory may not be wrong here (omg it's jesus)

still can't believe christianity is canon in the SMG4 universe

oh, so I was right! [*jigsaw voice*] "I wanna play a game."

That's actually kinda sweet that he immediately chooses his brother

OH SHIT OOOOH that's gotta hurt

NO MARIO, THAT SHOULD'VE BEEN ME

[*other me pops in*] emo girlfriend, omg it's smg3

no, we're NOT gonna look too much into this, shut up other me

PPFFFTTT that caught me so off guard

say it with me now: YOU CAN'T CONTROL MARIO [*applause*]

I mean, we've been through simulations before, we can take this one too

unironically, I wouldn't mind a 10-hour video of just Mario (and/or the rest of the Crew) just dancing :)

it doesn't even need to have music, I can just put my playlist on and I would totally join in

ooooh, you want to scan that QR code so badly

but also, how did they get a screenshot of my computer?

Mario 🤝 Mario Buddy from the last episode → destroying PCs for the LOLs

AKLDHLKSAFB;KL just the way Mario goes for a fighting stance just so he could run away will never not be funny to me

LET ME IN LET ME INNNNNNNNN

10 hours, welp I got my wish lmao

Mario morphing his face... hmmmm..... [*flashback noises*]

[SMG4: MAR10 Day]

....

don't think about it don't think about it don't think about it

KIRBO NOOOOOOOOO

NO NO NO SWAG NO

same vibes

meme factory? youtube arc? is that you? /j

(yeah I know that the Team uses the same assets ik)

LET'S DO THISSSS oh welp time to vibe

FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

what would that be, Swag? Try not to Laugh challenge? I might win tbh

LET'S GO GAMBLING

laughing because of early victory call? very in character for Swag

oooh that's some good animation (y'know, as always)

HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE

am i thinking too much into this or is this the same military base from last episode?

Alright, my little headcanon: the events of this episode and the last one took place on the exact same day

that's just for me specifically

oh hey, more TADC ref

Also, nice PINGAS STUCK IN A DOOR ref

man Mario can't catch a break dude

Congrats to CMorseu for your art being featured at the end credits 🎉

.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.

Such a good episode! Not plot-heavy, just a silly episode. I'll gladly take it as my late birthday present. And it's great to have Swag back, kinda was half-expecting Chris to just pop out.

I've said this once and I'll say it again: I wouldn't mind if the rest of the year is just filled with goofy episodes. After all, we just came from WOTFI and we do need a bit of a break so the Team could work on the next arc. (From the looks of things, we might get goop!4 *cough cough*)

Loved the bits of animation and Mario's expressions as always.

Now, I know there is some talk about the SMG4 Crew/Mario Does Things being on hiatus and merging with the Saturday videos. If you can even call it that. Personally, I don't mind it. I completely understand if doing 2 episodes per week is a lot for the Team to handle, though I do wish they would give an explanation for it. I think the best solution would be for the Team making an announcement of the change, the reasons behind it, and how it may be different from the regular Saturday episodes. Also make it clear that "hey, the title says this so it doesn't impact the main storyline".

Anyway, it has been overall a pretty funny episode and I quite enjoyed it! Now, if you excuse me, I'm gonna cry my eyes out watching the rest of Arcane Act 3 and bring that angst to the next episode concept :)

OH THE MISERY EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE MY ENEMYYYYYYY

[book--wyrm]

Since I've been having so much fun with predictions for this show, I'm gonna lay down my incredibly specific bet for how Francis dies.

I've touched on most elements of this before but I want a post to go back and reference when ep 7 ends, to see where my head was at even if I'm wrong.

It's time to connect some dots.

And then find out next week that i didn't connect shit lmao.

There's a reveal waiting in the wings to do with Rex Calabrese, for sure.

Obviously Rex has been set up since the first moments of the pilot, and he came up again in ep 5, and again ep 6.

Rex has specifically been set up as a positive, aspirational figure in Oz's life, the guy who took care of everyone, for whom crime was his way of being a good guy.

This entire show, this Rex Calabrese Myth has been the core of Ozwald's self justifications. It's all worth it to do the good that Rex did, to be loved like Rex was.

But the show has also not shied away from how selfish and hollow these justifications are. Even in this episode—"You know how meaningful that is? To be the guy in the neighborhood who takes care of people?" Not to take care of people for their sake. To be the guy they love for taking care of them.

Especially compared to Eve's genuine love and bond with her girls, Oz's good gangster fantasy has been shown time and time again to be just self aggrandizing excuses.

So I am convinced that one part of this Rex Calabrese reveal is going to be that he was also a lying asshole con man, that Oz was just one of the suckers who fell for it. We've seen from Eve that Oz can spew bullshit with the best, but can't sniff it out like Sofia can.

But there's something else to the Rex thing. The show has been real quiet about Oz's dad so far. That even got pointed out this ep.

In Ep 5, Francis says that Oz has big dreams, just like his father. And Oz says, no, I ain't like him.

In Ep 6, Francis talks to Oz as if she thinks he's his dad, saying that he needs to do something about the heat, that like it or not, "they're his boys", and if he doesn't, she'll go to Rex.

It sounds initially like Rex and Oz's father are different people, but... Oz had two brothers. Two older brothers, too, I think.

This is a bit of a stretch, and the part of this theory I'm least certain about, but I think it's possible that the person Oz thinks is his father is only Jack and Benny's bio dad, and that his bio dad is actually Rex, when his mom went to Rex after the dad couldn't keep the money coming in.

I just feel like this would make for a great gut punch combined with the takedown of the Rex myth, you know? If Oz learns that he is the son of his childhood hero, only for that idealized vision of Rex to be exposed as a facade at the same time, for Oz to have to face that he was born of, has admired, and has ultimately been acting just like a slimy, sleazy scumbag who did more harm than good in his life.

Maybe even hurt his ma? Maybe that's why Francis left Rex and went back to her original partner?

Vic's lie to Francis about Oz killing the whole Falcone family

First of all there is no way this doesn't come up when Sofia and Francis are in a scene together. Like. Vic didn't say all the Falcones except Sofia. He said they're all dead. Oz pulled this off.

But it was a lie. Sofia is the last of her line, by her own hand. It was all a lie, and Francis has been so consistent about this, she hates when her son lies to her. I can't blame her, either—when your own mind lies to you constantly, you want there to be an anchor, a pillar of truth in your life. If you can't trust yourself, you have to be able to trust *someone*, or you're lost.

Oswald didn't lie to her, this time. Vic did. But under the circumstances, I wonder if that isn't a technicality that gets easily lost.

I wonder if she isn't going to do what she's done all throughout the show, and cut Oswald to the core when she finds out.

The way Francis has been displacing affection onto Vic has clearly been leading up to... something.

She has consistently been so harsh, so demanding towards Oswald, the only remaining son who has the means to take care of her.

But to Vic, she has been so sweet and kind, possibly because she has no expectations of a boy not her blood, possibly because she's mentally substituting him in for her other sons.

Death makes martyrs of your children.

And Oz hasn't been responding well to this. To the way Francis praises Vic, to the way Vic was able to calm her down and make her happy when he just made her angry.

Oz responds badly to a lot of things. But when Eve broke up with him, he said something specific. "You got some high roller you'd rather be shacking up with?" Do you have someone better than me? Have I already been replaced? Am I not enough for my place in your life, is there someone who does everything I do but better?

This whole family unit is sitting on an emotional powder keg.

Francis's request for euthanasia uahghghghghgh

In a show about a determined antihero, Oz would follow through on his mom's request. This is not that show.

That being said, I think that means there are sort of two really evil ways that the show could kill Francis. Which will happen, btw. She is going to die.

The first is for Oz to refuse to kill his mom, leaving her in position to die horribly at someone else's hands.

I can see this one in theory, but I feel like it doesn't have a solid emotional impact? Refusing to euthanize your mother is an understandable, if slightly selfish thing to do. Especially under an extremely stressful situation like your mom has been kidnapped and. idk. electroshocked by Dr Subdrop, who fucking knows.

The other really awful thing they could do is to have Oz kill his mom, in a scene where she is explicitly lucid and clearheaded, and then justify it to himself afterwards as a mercy killing, it's what she asked of me, I was a good son to her.

People working on the penguin have been dropping hints that by the last two episodes, Oz will have done something irredeemably horrific, and I just. This would be fucking *vile*.

Here's my theory. And I type this with the full understanding that this is so specific it's almost certainly not going to go down like this.

Sofia takes Vic and Francis away somewhere, and over the course of whatever scenes they have, Francis realizes that "Oz wiped out the Falcones" was a lie. (idk that I would want Sofia to tell her directly, we already did a "oh, you didn't know?" scene with Eve.) Oz shows up at some point, and learns both about the lie Vic told, and that his mother is now furiously angry about it

Somehow Oz gets Francis away, and here my theory kinda splits into two possibilities.

a) Oz gets Francis away by sacrificing Vic, and Francis blows up on him about leaving vic and about the lie.

or b) Oz, Francis, and Vic all get away, and once they're out Oz attacks Vic for lying to his ma and making her mad at him, and Francis blows up on him in Vic's defence or just because she's so angry at him she doesn't even think about Vic.

Either ways, she throws the truth in his face in a moment of clear eyed lucidity—he is Rex's son, and just like Rex, he's a scummy, lying piece of shit who will never amount to anything.

(there's a part of me that thinks maybe instead of Rex it'll be smth about his brothers? god knows how their deaths will play into things idk where they fit here)

and in a mirror to the absolute senseless rage and pain he felt when his childhood dream of being Rex was insulted by Alberto in Ep 1, he kills his own mother, and cements himself as the villain of this show.

[onyour-right]

Y'all, I don't know what made Gen V writers think they had the right to hurt me this badly. PLEASE, WHAT WAS THIS EPISODE??? The way this episode tugged at my heartstrings was unforgiveable.

My precious baby girl Cate, she did many things wrong but at the same time did absolutely nothing wrong and I need for her to know that. Her mother was trash to the core & needs to choke. What she needs now is a good ole hug and some hot cocoa because the way she must have been suffering all those years knowing so much and having nobody to tell... I'm glad she now has Marie. Also, now that she's off those pill blockers or whatever they were, the full range of her powers is gonna be immenseeee.

Jordannnnnn my beloved, the love of my life. Nah, the way it hurt me to see him crying. Derek Luh you were phenomenal. Like, they've literally never done anything wrong EVER. They are so precious to me. The guilt they must have been carrying knowing that they saw the interaction between Luke and Brink but bought into the lies & manipulation. At least they questioned it though, some people would have just outright ignored it.. I also kinda feel like Marie reminded them of their original goal to be a hero and what it truly meant and how detrimental being selfish is which is why they were so ruffled by her. Also, Andre can choke for the way he spoke to Jordan... "just always looking out for yourself" EXCUSE YOU, THE PERSON FUCKING HIS BFFs GIRLFRIEND!!!

Andre, bruhhhh. Like I get why he was mad but he was acting like the moral police meanwhileeeeeeee absolute trash. I actually for one second thought him, Cate & Luke were in some polyamorous relationship kinda thing BUT they werent.. he just is "that guy". The only good thing he did was telling Cate to wake tf up. Also, the tone he took with Marie too, like boy if you don't sit your ass down somewhere.. You're on thin ice pal!!

Marieeeee, my precious angel, my beautiful baby girl. She is the definition of a girl's girl. I love her so much omggggg and the fact her sister thinks she's a monster makes my heart break for her. Also love that she was the only one to stand up for Cate and openly give her another chance!!! Jaz absolutely killed it.

Marie/Jordan. THE EYES NEVER LIE. These two kept looking at each other, standing next to each other... like, it's married couple material right there. The both of them need to sit down and talk but I also love that they're going the slow burn route with them.

Emma and Sam were cute but reallyyyyy?? Everyone's fighting for their life but they're just having sex lmaoooo. Good for them though.

Shetty needs to die, as does the Dr. Sorry, I make the rules. It would be poetic justice for Sam to be the one to kill them after all the shit they've done to him.

Also, next week's episode is titled 'Sick'. I have a feeling that the supes (the main 6) are gonna be infected maybe at the end of the episode & Marie will have to find a way to save them. Because of her blood powers she might not be susceptible to catching the disease, which is why the Dr wanted to test on her so badly. OMG WHAT IF JORDAN STARTS SHOWING SYMPTOMS WHILE THEM AND MARIE ARE DOING DETECTIVE THINGS. Thats honestly fanfic material right there...

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 7 thoughts

(voice cracking) hey guys. how are you doing? because i’m fine. actually super incredibly fine. have never been better, in fact. (heavy on the /s)

this episode feels so final, in a way. there is before this episode and after it, and there is no going back. and we have had plenty of those episodes that involve a shedding of innocence, but we’ll reach a point where you think, surely it cannot get worse than this. and you’ll never guess what happens next: somehow, it does.

sniffs. scully always chooses love, bro. and mulder chooses her and therefore chooses love. and they choose each other. and they deserve to be happy, to be a happy little family.

take me back to around 14 hours ago, when i pressed play on this episode immediately after watching the previous one, not even bothering to make this writeup until now, because i was too invested:

okay. so yes. i broke my rule and i’m watching this episode right away. and yes i feel sick.  (author’s note to past self: girl if you felt sick then imagine how you feel now LMAOOOO)

“it begins where it ends…. in nothingness. a nightmare born from deepest fears, coming to me unguarded” <- girl what are we opening with? she's in these black robes, striding across sand...

is she looking at death itself??? again?? how many times must this happen??? is SHE death itself???

she picks up her necklace… and declares herself alone, as ever. but you're not alone, scully!

bum bum bum bum… intro time… 

mulder, please come and provide emotional support if nothing else. you are desperately needed

YES, HE IS HERE!!!!!! he is watching scully watch emily color. 

OHHHH MY GOD. hold on. she introduces him to emily as her friend, and he immediately is making funny faces to get emily to laugh. stop. i need to be sedated.

he notices her cross necklace on emily. and he doesn't say anything but he doesn't need to, because that says enough. the cross that hung from his neck when she was gone, returned to her as she returned to life, and now placed around the neck of this little girl.

he had frohike hack into the system to find her surrogate mother omg… frohike is an ally… her birth mother is named anna fugazzi…. fugazzi is a slang term for fake??? he thinks they made a whole fake profile to hide her origins??

oh my god….

mulder is telling her that being around emily is incredibly dangerous; whoever it was that killed her adoptive parents would clearly go after her next. “i can protect her, too” “yeah, but who’s gonna protect you?” <- PLEASE KILL ME IT WOULD HURT LESS

“i’ve considered that, but i‘ve also considered that there’s only one right thing to do” <- ohhh, scully and her Need to do the Morally Correct Thing……… it’ll haunt me forever. she's willing to drop everything she has in her life to give this child a better life. and she didn't even knew she existed until a few days ago.

man, i miss s1 sometimes. bitch take me back…

HE CAME TO TESTIFY AT HER HEARING TO ADOPT HER??? and he says he shouldn’t have come because he doesn’t want to see her hurt like emily's adoptive parents were 😭😭😭 but he did. because he supports her through anything. and he knows that this poor little girl was never supposed to happen.

this man is nervously cracking sunflower seeds outside the hearing room. and bill is glaring at mulder like he didn’t just fly down here to save the day. fuck him for real.

oh, this judge guy is immediately tearing into his facts about the abduction. this never stops happening to mulder when he presents his theories. it must be getting old.

she was gone for four weeks when she was abducted. did we ever know the length of time?? huh. not sure if i picked up on that if we did.

he cannot explain to this guy why anyone would do this to scully and put the child up for adoption, but that is her child!!

“not in any legal definition” “well, if you can show me a precedent for this case, i’d like to see it” <- ohhhh tell him!!!

ohhh my god... “dana has known for quite some time that she can’t bear children. she hasn’t known why. now, however that happened, the fact that she can adopt this child- her own flesh and blood- is something i don’t feel i have the right to question, and i don’t believe anybody has the right to stand in the way of” <- that is best friendship. they love each other so terribly. terrible in the sense of a storm, or a natural disaster, in the sense of love being a force

oh my god man hold on. hold on. so had they talked about it before?? how she couldn't have kids?? and did he tell her why?? i don't think he did, because she is looking on at him with such horror as he shares these facts

there is such a terrible feeling of never being able to go back to before associated with all of this…

mulder is at bill’s house now, fidgeting with their nativity, while scully descends from the stairs. she was helping tara get into bed. oh my god. she loves her family so much.

OHHH the big reveal: “why didn’t you tell me? mulder?” “i never expected this. i thought i was protecting you” <- so she never knew that he knew… which is why she looked so horrified when she heard him say that to the judge…

he thought he was keeping her safe??? because he must have known that these people were willing to kill to keep their experiments in order. it reminds me of when he was at the evil honey farm and the alien said the clone children don't need parents....... the utter lack of humanity...

he says he knew children were being created, but not for who or for what purpose. :(

she gets a call, seemingly with no one on the other end, and with one look he has his phone on him, calling to get it traced. their ability to communicate without language is fascinating. within seconds, he has the location

it’s the children’s center where emily’s being held!!!

so is it still the ghost of melissa calling them somehow?? or is there an informer in there???

they’re at the door of the children's center right away!!!! is someone going to hurt emily????? they barge right in despite it being the middle of the night

emily’s in bed, with a horrific fever. mulder picks her up (oh my god, this made me feel terriblly emotional things) and he notices there is something on her neck.

IT IS A TERRIBLE GREEN POISON LUMPY THING?????

the doctor says there is some kind of infection, and they’re having the thing on her neck biopsied.

there’s an awful pause as they're standing outside the hospital room, and he asks if they are the parents…. mulder steps to the side and lets her say that she is the mother, which is so insane to hear, while mulder watches, terribly worried. 

he watches as they’re about to cut the thing on her neck…. but he realizes it is the green alien blood (which he can see, so NOT red/green colorblind) and starts banging on the door, telling the doctor to get away!!! but she doesn’t listen!!! the doctor collapses right then and there from the exposure to the alien blood gas, while they look on in horror. 

so emily is one of the alien hybrid children... i had thought that those were all clones, but i guess there are some unique ones as well. or maybe the ones we have seen in the past all shape-shift to look the same? CSM, this is your fault. evil has a face and a name and he writes bad fiction.

emily is on a mild sedative, and the ER doctor somehow made it. scully asks mulder how he knew what was going on, and he says he had the doctor put in an ice bath like she did when he was exposed :( he remembered.... :(

the dr. calderon that emily was seeing before refuses to transfer her information over!!! and says that scully has no authority over this child!!!! he is straight up willing to let her die.

she refuses to leave her. 

mulder is sent instead to interrogate him; he asks what he can say to convince dr. calderon to convince him to transfer the files over. but dr. calderon says it’s about business reasons. mulder asks how much money is worth letting this child die.

OHHHHHH HE IS THROWING HANDS….. 

holy fuck, i need a moment. he calls calderon and his team "medical rapists", a term i was previously unfamiliar with, and says now they’re just going to let her DIE??? AND HE PULLS OUT A GUN???

“why don’t you tell me whose life is worth saving, yours or hers!!” <- DAMN!!!

mulder is willing to kill for scully and that baby she just learned existed... i need a moment

he only puts his gun away because the police are at the door… but he’s gonna follow him. 

meanwhile, emily is watching cartoons while scully is in scrubs. she wants to talk to emily… she’s explaining that she has to do some tests. "mommy said no more tests" <- now what does that mean?

they insert the child into the machine. poor scully watches.

god, scully must feel so strange at the moment. and she gets flashbacks to her abduction from hearing the MRI machine beeping….

dr. calderon is running into a fancy gated home. and the other men who were watching scully before are here!!!!! 

OH MY GOD???? THEY STABBED THE DOCTOR'S NECK WITH THE NEEDLE, AND THE GREEN GAS CAME OUT???

and the other one morphed into calderon??? SO THEY’RE THE ALIENS????

but mulder is here……..

(i’m torn between genuine devastation and the sheer absurdity of this plot)

back at the hospital, we learn emily has some sort of infection into her brain that is expanding along her nervous system

and the guy who is pretending to be calderon is here!!!

scully and the real doctor are talking medicine, what can and cannot be done for her.

NO WHAT? THE ALIEN THAT TOOK CALDERON'S FACE IS HERE WITH THE NEEDLE GAS STUFF??? he just left emily's room……

scully's going after this guy, but he switches faces the minute they catch him!!!!!

mulder is still tailing the people from the pharmaceutical company. he tells scully he doesn’t think they want emily dead either, but for different reasons… they want their experiment to work, i assume is what he implies, but he hangs up then to go do some more tailing.

detective kresge is here!!!! scully tells him she thinks these men killed emily's adoptive parents because they stopped doing the tests!!! and that must be why that mysterious man came in to see her!!!!

i’m ready to see some heads roll over this whole matter. 

mulder lets himself into the weird huge gated house he saw dr. calderon go into, which seems to be an nursing home, with a label on a shelf for a. fuggazi. she’s a real person???? and she’s 71 years old???

but now emily is getting worse, with the growth spreading; it is killing her. the doctor says they should be grateful she isn’t in pain. 

chambliss shows up to tell scully that the court is freaked out that she’s making choices for emily, but she points out that she is “a medical doctor, and the decisions that i make are reasonable and right” and we know this to be true!!!

OHHHH MY GOD chambliss says that she has no authority, and scully says that if they take her out of the hospital, she will have it known that all of them are responsible for emily's worsening health…… holy fuck

“what do you want me to tell them you’re doing for her?” “i don’t know yet. but i will” <- she thinks there has to be hope…. :(

frohike is on the phone!!!! mulder is reading the names of the women in the nursing home, while frohike looks them up. and somehow they all gave birth to children in the last few years??? despite being 70+ years old????

and frohike wants to know if they are attractive. mulder says he might have a shot with these ones LMAO <- rare moment of levity in what may be the darkest fucking episode of all time

these elderly women are being prescribed estrogen and progesterone, which are in abundance in pregnant women……….

anna comes to mulder and says she wants to start her beauty sleep??? and it’s taken years off of her appearance??? do the aliens turn them young somehow??? and then use them to have children???

holy fuck. horrific commentary on the intersections of reproductive rights and elder abuse....

emily is now being inserted into a new tube for testing, with scully saying she will be right there the whole time. the air in the tube hurts emily's ears??? and makes her veins pop out??????? she is yelling at the doctor to stop running the test, but i don't even really understand what is going on, beyond that emily cannot handle it

mulder is still at the nursing home, where he finds a bunch of the old women in bed, attached to IVs with the hormones he mentioned earlier!!! so they get the IVs in their sleep and then they... no, it's too disturbing to even say

so he looks in the fridge and inside he finds some papers…. HUH???? it has scully’s name on them???? and inside is ANOTHER BABY IN A TUBE????

what the fuck??? this is messed up!!!!

he also finds vials of the green stuff that you use to kill the aliens!!!! but now the shapeshifting alien guy from before is here!!!! so he's running out with the vials!!! 

but detective kresge is here and stops mulder!!!!! IS THE DETECTIVE WORKING FOR THE ALIENS???

NO!! kresge is trying to keep him safe!!! the alien picks him up and tosses him like a rag doll!!!

but kresge gets up and shoots him despite mulder’s many warnings, so he hisses as his alien body releases that toxic green gas!! NO, KRESGE!! you were mean at first, but i grew to like you!!!

the alien takes kresge’s face and dips while mulder is trying to get backup!!!!!!!!!!!!

poor scully is watching emily through the window; she has gone into a coma. mulder suddenly arrives. but before mulder can say anything, she claims she’s okay. 

“but if you could treat her?” “i wouldn’t. i wouldn’t do it to her” “are you sure?” <- oh my god? is she going to take her off of life support? does she think it is wrong to keep her alive with no quality of life? we know she believes that in her own will... is she realizing there is nothing she can do? and why does she always lead with "i'm okay" when she isn't?

“mulder, whoever brought this child into this world didn’t intend to love her”

“i think she was born to serve an agenda” (a horrific thing for a human to be)

“i have a chance to stop that. you were right. this child was not meant to be”

but she is. she is here. and she doesn't have much longer.

he rubs her back and says he’ll stay with her. STOOOOOP

but she says she’d like to be alone. so he quietly walks away.

oh my god. he was going to stay with her while she watched her baby die... but she said she wanted to do it alone....... 

he still has that one vial of green stuff in his pocket, and pulls it out in the hallway. while she’s going in to presumable say goodbye. she lays her head next to emily, crawling into her bed. oh my god.

then we see a stained glass window of mary holding baby jesus while scully sits in a pew. maggie is here, asking if she’s ready. she tells her she’ll get a ride back with mulder. and she hugs her family, smiling at tara’s new baby, kissing him on the head.

there is a little casket, and scully stares at it as mulder comes in, laying flowers upon it. 

“who are the men who would create a life whose only hope is to die?” “i don’t know. but that you found her… and you had a chance to love her… maybe she was meant for that, too” <- oh my god??? oh my god.

“she found me” “so you could save her” <- and she did save her... she saved her from an unhappy home and unethical experiments and loved her in the week that she knew her, and let her go peacefully instead of suffering....

then she asks about kresge, who somehow made it, but the nursing home has been cleaned out, and no one else knew of calderon’s work. but there is evidence of what they did, she says, staring at the casket. 

she takes the flowers, lifts up the lid, and mulder turns around to give her space. but the casket is empty, except for the cross necklace. which she holds, closing her eyes. so they took her body, too???

the sand… the necklace… the opening scene… the parallels… i’m, like, blubbering as i type this

what the fuck!! who came up with this?? it is so fucked up and horrific and why. why. why. why did they make her undergo that and where do we go from here? no seriously, how is she going to just. clock into work the next day. not knowing she had a daughter except for a single week they had together and then she watched her die.

i honestly think scully is a saint because. if someone told me my autonomy had been taken and they made a baby out of me without my consent, i think i would be horrified and want nothing to do with the poor child. i would think, i have no relation to that little person. it was done without my knowledge, and how can i claim any connection to something i never knew?

(i mean, that is all i can imagine i would do; i know nothing of what it feels like to want or have or learn you have a baby. so keep that fact in mind if i don't fully grasp the weight of everything here. but believe me, what i am grasping is weighty enough)

but she said, i have a baby and i need to love her, because the option to make my own decision was denied, but i need to do the right thing. she just barrels in and loves her. no hesitation. and then she watches her die. 

and what the fuck?? from a writer’s perspective are they just trying to overtly comment on the lack of women’s healthcare?? because this hits different in the current political climate in a way they couldn’t have seen at the time. and i do feel somewhat inspired to write an essay on the subject. and using the elderly women as incubators... holy hell. it really speaks to the lack of agency women have over their own bodies and the terrifying nature of government intervention into women's healthcare...

mulder showing up right away to testify for her… scully being willing to throw her whole career away for a child she never knew she had… i need a few days and maybe a drink.

where do they go from this? how do you move on from learning you have a child, choosing to love it for the week you knew her, and then watching her die? how do you just go hunt bigfoot after that?

i feel like this show throws too many emotional punches and doesn't give us time to let the aftershocks sink in and the grief be processed. i hope that this time we get that chance.

and oh, how tender both of them were with emily... i just know that if they have kids, that child is going to be so loved... i am gonna cry at the thought. because we have always been able to see that mulder wants a family so desperately, but with scully it was more simmering under the surface until it boiled over, and now she knows what that feeling is like, but it was taken away from her and it can never come back, but maybe someday she can find happiness, and they can find happiness together, and raise a little kid who they can hold and carry and read books to and fuck i'm emotional!!!

i'm thinking about how even way back in season 1 we see them dealing with kids and the foreshadowing to this, this glimpse of what could have been in another life, but what isn't in this timeline. and how he was there for her while she waded through entirely incomprehensible emotions. and again i come back to the fact she chose to love this little girl despite having no knowledge of her.

and how they choose to find meaning in that week they knew her, with mulder telling her that she saved emily, that she let her experience love and happiness. to try and find any purpose to their inexplicably cosmic suffering.

fuck!!!

as always, please tell me what you think!!! what was your reaction when you saw this for the first time?? what was the reaction of the wider public? did you also cry a million tears? did you also cry at the mental image of them having a little baby? has your perception of the episode changed over time? if you have kids now do you cry even more? will chris carter ever work on whatever it is he has going on with making women suffer? i need to know every last detail.

[classic-maya]

I really loved your view on when did Brian fall in love with Justin and I saw how happy you were about a qaf ask, so here I am:

when do you think britin reunited after the finale, specifically how long do you think they lived apart for AND how do you they reunited? (I couldn't bring myself to watch that episode because this is gonna break my heart) OR do you think they are not together?

I love this fandom and I love you. I’ve been wanting to write some more fic for them for a while and haven’t had the motivation, but this might spur me along.

In the meantime…I’ll start with the last episode and why I have an unpopular opinion about how it ended and then get into how I envision their reunion. 

Finale

I know there is a lot of hate for S5 finale, but I honestly love the “It’s only time” speech that Brian gives and it’s so so special to me. I feel like it is one of the most romantic lines in the show because in Brian Kinney-speak “It’s only time” is "I will always love you. I will love you just as much tomorrow as I love you today and the next day and the next and the next. I will die loving you. I will love you if you come back to me and I will love you if you never come back to me because time doesn't matter, you are the person I love and that will never change.” 

Not joking, QaF fundamentally altered my view on romantic love. I previously only thought that familial love could be unconditional, but it was such a believable representation of unconditional romantic love that it shifted my perspective. They both truly just want what is best for the other, even if that means they cannot physically be together or at times are not in a relationship. It took my breath away.

All that being said, I definitely do not think of their last scenes together in S5 as a break-up, maybe just a break. They needed to exist separately and apart from each other for a little bit. I think Brian is fairly conscious of their age gap and he never wants to hold Justin back from anything because of their relationship. We see him struggle with this throughout the series, remember him encouraging Justin to make some friends his own age, “Enjoy your youth…I sure have ;)” as well as his many attempts to get Justin to go to and finish college. Even when Justin was with Ethan, of course Brian was hurt because of the cheating, but he also didn’t hold it against Justin because he ultimately wants him to have everything he wants and desires and Brian recognized that he couldn’t give Justin that at the time (let’s Brian’s struggles with low self-esteem aside for the purpose of this conversation). On the other side, Justin loves Brian exactly how he is, and I think Brian’s sudden change of heart (i.e. declaring his love, proposing marriage, turning down opportunities to hook up with tricks etc.) scared Justin.

The two of them went through yet another extraordinary trauma with the attack on Babylon and I think the rush to get married was an extension of that, but I don’t know if either of them were actually ready for marriage. In the same way Brian is afraid Justin will wind up resenting him and their relationship if it were to keep Justin from reaching his full potential as an artist, I think Justin is afraid that if they do get married, Brian will later resent it because he was only caught up in the fear of once again losing the love of his life. But no matter what, something big did shift in a very real way for both of them and made Brian feel freer to express his love for Justin. Reunion

I think Justin moves to New York and has the exact experience he was looking for. He struggles for a bit and he hides it from Brian and his family because he wants to prove to himself that he can do it, that he can take care of himself and Brian lets him. He supports and loves his independence. I think they see each other frequently and are madly, passionately, exuberantly in love even though they live in different cities. I think Brian flies to New York every few weeks and Justin takes the bus to the Pitts every chance he gets.

The first time Brian visits, Justin picks him up from the airport and they can’t stand another moment not touching each other, so they don’t even make it home and end up having a quickie in the airport bathroom. Then Brian takes them to a hotel because he is not sleeping on Justin’s ratty second-hand mattress and letting his roommate hear them fuck their brains out for the next 48 hours.

Eventually, Justin’s art starts selling and he stops struggling. He makes a name for himself and is being flown across the country for different shows and speaking engagements. Meanwhile, Kinnetic becomes the top ad agency in Pennsylvania and begins to gain clients throughout the northeast and in New York to the extent that developing a satellite office in the city only makes sense. Brian moves to New York, not because he is following Justin, but because it has always been his dream. He sells Britin and swaps it for a penthouse in Manhattan that he puts in both their names. Justin moves in without either of them talking about it.

I see them getting married about 7 or 8 years after we last see them in the show, and this time it feels right. They go back to Pittsburgh and their chosen family, the gang and some new friends, are all there to celebrate them. I do not think they will ever choose to have a monogamous relationship. It is not what either of them want nor do they see it as a way to show their devotion to each other. Their non-monogamy looks a lot different than it did when they were younger though. They are both more intentional about the partners they choose and it’s more like the trick of the month vs the trick of the night (or even hour if you’re Brian Kinney). More often than not they wind up in threesomes or moresomes together rather than seeing someone separately. They allow the exchange of names and numbers because they feel more secure in their relationship with each other. The prohibition on kissing anyone else remains.

They don’t have kids together, but they both are in and out of Toronto with enough regularity that Gus sees them as de facto parents who helped his moms raise him. Gus often goes to New York to spend long weekends with them and in high school and college he will spend entire summers in New York with Brian and Justin.

They are the consummate New York power couple; they help each other’s business and are always attending each other’s events. They travel separately for work but always make time to leave the country and vacation together a few times a year. Eventually, they move from the penthouse to a beautiful Brooklyn brownstone and at some point, they (cover Brian’s ears) grow old together.

[thejujvtsupost]

hiiii, i just wanna say i love your writing!

is it okay if i request a Gojo fluff of him coming out of the Prison Realm and seeing Y/N? a lil bit of angst and a lot of fluff if you please.

thank you!

have a cookie 🍪

and a lil bit of love <3

byee

-anon :)

The Return

Hi anon! You’re so sweet 🥺💗 here’s a cookie for you too! 🍪 hope you don’t mind but I also added some Nobara copium since her dreaded episode comes out this week. She deserved better tbh.

Notes: F!reader, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, Gojo needs a hug and gets one. Just something extra fluffy for the copium we all need. Also since Nobara’s status is technically ‘unknown’ I decided she’s in a coma for the foreseeable future to make myself feel better. 🤗 I also didn’t know how to end it because I had too many ideas.

He looked like a mess.

You, Shoko and Yaga were the only ones unsealing Gojo, you had no idea what he was going to be like and all the kids had been through more than enough. If something tragic happened, they didn’t need to see it.

The way looked at you, some meters away from where he was unsealed, broke your heart. “Baby?” His scratchy voice was barely audible, likely dehydrated.

His hair was in complete disarray, dirt, dry blood and filth all over him, clothes hanging off of his frame- he clearly lost some weight. He’d been through hell.

None of that deterred you from immediately running into his arms, kissing his cheek and clutching his body close, tight but trying to be mindful of his frailty. His reverse curse technique could heal injuries, but it couldn’t sustain him alone. Especially not for over two weeks.

“God ‘toru never scare me like that again!” You were choked up and overwhelmed. “Are you okay? Of course you’re not- you need water and a fucking meal.”

A look over from Shoko while informing him of the lives lost went by in a blur for you both. You could tell he was having a hard time processing everything. “Nanami? Really? And Nobara’s in a coma?” He refused IV fluids so you were nearly drowning him with water he had to drink. As soon as you got him home he’d eat too.

His sadness was palpable when it was confirmed. “I always thought he’d be able to live through anything…”

“He died protecting Yuuji, Maki, Megumi and the others. He fought bravely til the end. Unfortunately Yuuji saw it happen, he’s been… struggling… but he’s very resilient.” You squeezed his hand and he squeezed it back- the best he could anyway. He was shaky and weak from the toll on his body.

Getting him home was a relief. You got him sat comfortably on the couch, still in dirty clothes (minus his uniform jacket you helped him out of) but you’d deal with that after he ate. You hated the grunts of pain exiting his lips from the ache in his muscles.

“Relax as best you can, I have some leftover chicken takeout I’m gonna heat up and I’ll be back.”

He caught your wrist in a panic. “Don’t leave- need to know you’re real. ‘Haven’t even properly kissed me yet.” He brought some humor and a smile into the room like always, you appreciated that about him no matter how weak it was this time. Even in the darkest moments he made you laugh with his charm.

“My apologies.” You leaned down with a giggle and kissed him gently.

Being alone was painful for anyone, and for Gojo, where he couldn’t even keep track of time, it was agony. He would dream, or perhaps hallucinate about you only for you to disappear when he wanted to touch you. Agony.

Pulling away from him after so long was difficult too. “I’ll just be a few minutes, I promise.”

Gojo let you leave and you talked to him from your place in the kitchen. He never valued being able to see the kitchen from the living room so much until this moment.

You made sure he ate as much as he could before pulling him to the bathroom connected to your room. A shower was next on the list and you had a feeling you’d end up in there with him. He needed some help but he disguised it as being needier than necessary (he was naturally needy and affectionate with you anyway.)

“Turn and lean down a little, you’re a billion meters tall and I can’t reach your hair” he complied and bantered with you lovingly. Not to his usual standards, but you didn’t care about anything other than him being right there under your fingertips. He was real, his voice was real.

And when he finally broke down, his head on your shoulder and arms around you, he couldn’t stop. He sobbed the ugliest of cries that ripped through your own heart and you didn’t stop him, didn’t shush him, just kissed the side of his head and rubbed his back. Encouraging him to let it out. It was a matter of time before his emotions caught up to him.

You spent more time holding him than washing him. Happily.

The water eventually ran clear and sobs turned to sniffles. Only then did you turn it off and help him out with the mutual understanding that his heart needs time to heal before he can talk about the tragedies he let out in the shower.

And finally, getting into bed and cuddling close, he had a death grip around you.

“I missed you so, so much Satoru. Don’t ever do that to me again or I’ll kill you.”

“I missed you too doll, you have no idea how bad I needed to see you and just feel you.” He kissed you just as sweetly as he did gently.

Falling asleep without tears for the first time in weeks, exchanging quiet words of love, was bliss.

A miracle, actually.

Thinking about making a request? Check my bio to see if they’re open! <3

[bronx-bomber87]

Happy Wednesday fandom :) I love this episode. The aftermath of 5x01. I remember being so very excited every week cause I knew this was their season. I was so giddy for every era we were getting. This ep started the hurts so good/pining era. Nothing better than having your ship on the cusp and getting excited every ep to see what comes next. Return of Genny in this one yay missed her. Imma need more in s6. Looking at you writers.

5x02 Labor Day

We start the ep with a guilt ridden Lucy bringing Chris home to her apt. We all know at this point that’s the reason they’re still together. She nearly cheated on the man for loophole sex with her best friend. Not only that but almost partook while he was dying in the process. Still glad it didn’t go down that way but guilt is the main factor here IMO. Lucy is getting him settled in when there a knock at the door. Love how this detective comes up and doesn’t even care she’s interrupted them.

Legend already haha Says her name is Detective Misha Porter. She teaches at the UC school In Sacramento. Lucy looks star struck saying she knows who she is. Mischa said she’s been doing recruiting and her name keeps coming up. Of course it does Lucy is amazing. Saying she’s worked several impressive OPs. That makes for an ideal candidate. That she is here to recruit her.

Lucy looks guilt ridden once again as she looks at stupid Chris. Just holding her back in so many ways it’s painful. She asks when classes start? Porter tells her next Monday. Saying it’s short notice but they had someone fall out. She’s sure her sergeant would approve it. Lucy lights up for first time at the mention of Tim. Knowing he would. He would do ANYTHING for her career. Something we will see of more at the end of this ep.

Lucy continues to hesitate. Porter sees this and says her classes will open up a ton of doors for her. Lucy tells her she knows. That Detective Harper has told her all about it. She hands her the folder. Saying every unit will want to poach her from patrol after this. Lucy tells her she will think about it…Oh my girl he is not worth giving up UC for. That guilt truly dominating all her decisions.

She returns to Chris and even he tells her to go for it. We see the stress and continued weight of what happened control her. Saying no it can wait. It’s almost like she needs someone else to push her in that direction...Also that someone else is the real reason she doesn’t want to leave. *cough Tim cough*

We see Tim pull up to meet Genny. What is it about him driving that big truck that is so sexy? Mmm. Also in civies. Yum take me now sir. Haha Love that smile of his when he looks at the house. Thank you to your wife for having you do this. It sounds like Genny is having an argument on the phone. Tim asks if she’s ok? She sweeps it under the rug like a classic Bradford.

She just needed his signature on some stuff before the open house. Tim looks so excited this is done and they can finally move on. Genny looks extra sad about it. Seems like it's more than just the house. Tim picks up on this and tells her not to get sad over this house LOL She should be excited they’re gonna get half a mill each for this place. He then is sweet and tells her to call him if she needs anything. Such a good brother ❤️

We return to Lucy at home with Chris. He’s going over her packet saying she has to go. I will give him this and ONLY this. He isn’t trying to keep her from UC school. Now he is trying to do the thing only Tim can. Which is talk her down and have her see some reason. Not gonna happen with you clown. You are not the one for that job. Lucy saying this is where she wants to be. It’s not though…

Lucy is still so angry as she talks about Rosalind. As she should be that’s some serious PTSD for her. Once again not the guy to help her through this anxiety. The guilt is eating away at her and nothing Chris can say will help. Because he is part of that guilt. She almost cheated on him while Rosalind got to him. That’s what’s really eating at her.

Another reason I’m glad it didn’t happened. Would’ve tainted their time together. That would’ve been a painful hill to get over. So no thank you. I’ll be forever grateful it unfolded the way that it did. She is putting off UC for one reason she can’t tell Chris about. Would only add to never ending weight on her soul currently. I wanna hug her.

Oh how I love this scene with Angela. First off I adore him giving her half his burrito ha besties. Second she truly is a cheerleader for Chenford. Also for Tim’s happiness. She just wants to see her grump of a friend be happy. Angela knows that answer is Lucy. It’s been her forever. So she does a little poking around in this scene. Fishing to see what answers she can get. Starting off asking Tim the question that’s been on her mind since Vegas. Even more so since Chris got attacked.

‘How’s Lucy?’ We all know this question isn’t as innocent as it appears. Because well Lopez. He’s out of his damn mind if thinks she gonna let any of this go. I adore this friendship so very much. We notice how Tim likes to surround himself with strong women. His bestie is one of them. His wife another. Only ones he allows to talk to him this way. Heh. I love it. The teasing she does early on in this season is amazing. We were all rooting for her doing this.

Calling him out trying to get him to face his feelings. Do something about them. Angela is as perceptive as they come. And they are as blatantly obvious as two humans could be. Even Nolan knows LOL Tim starts off with a standard answer. She’s shaken but taking time off with Chris. Angela doesn’t care about the Chris part. Asking why he was even there in the first place to find him? Her instigation makes me laugh so hard. Trying to get a real answer out of him. Tim deflecting as he attempts to hold it together for the moment. Just saying he was dropping her off after Vegas. Lies lies and more lies.

Angela’s face is everything. Her 'Mmm-hmm' Calling Tim on his BS answer with her facial expression alone. This is so funny. Tim catching onto what she is throwing down. Asking what she’s implying? When he’s knows EXACTLY what she’s implying. Because babe you almost did what she is suggesting here. You’re just upset cause you're getting caught in that suggestion. I love her throwing back ‘What do you think?’

She is trying so hard to get him to cop to what almost happened between them. Tim goes back to his platonic answer of ‘Just dropping her off. ’ Although his voice gets a little higher in pitch when he does,. Angela’s second ‘Mmm-hmm.’ Is everything. She isn’t buying what you’re selling Timothy. Not for one second. Angela Lopez is a QUEEN. I love her sfm. Man is lying to himself and she just wants him to realize that.

Poor Lucy is desperate for another opinion. So she seeks out her UC mentor. She is so cute when she says Harper is glowing haha I love her sfm. Lucy is asking everyone except the one person she knows would have her answer. So she is hitting up a very pregnant Harper LMAO Who is in no state of mind to be helping her out.

James basically ushers her out of the house. My girl. She needs advice so much and isn’t getting what she needs from those around her. Trying to find someone to validate her skipping for Chris. Thing is she isn’t going to find that. No one is going to validate this guilt of her's like she is seeking. Once again just wanna hug her.

We see Genny waiting in the parking garage for Tim. She called him earlier in the day about offers. Saying they had a developer who wanted over asking. But also a sweet family who wanted it for asking. Tim telling her to go with developer. Cause he doesn't care bout the house. So he makes a crack when she shows up about selling it to a sweet family for 100 bucks ha Such a brother things to do to her. Genny says no.... She has another reason for meeting up other than the house. It’s here we learn about why Genny has been stressed all day. Her and her husband are getting a divorce. Tim tells her how sorry he is. He has most definitely Been there.

Tim asks about the house and who they’re gonna sell it to? Asking if they’re gonna pick the happy family? Genny says no the highest bidder. That divorce isn’t cheap. HA That’ll it’ll soften the blow for her financially being a single mom now. Tim asks if her husband is moving out? She says no she wants to move. Here actually. Asking Tim if that’s ok? He lights up. If there’s anything he needs right now it's family. Especially with all the messy stuff with Lucy atm. It’s so sweet how excited he is. Also their hug is also very adorable. I just adore them so very much.

They nailed casting for his sister. They have an excellent sibling rapport. Good chemistry in that way. Also they do look like they could be related it’s unreal. I love the smile on Tim’s face as he hugs her. My heart. Family is so important to have around. Especially when you’re close to them. This is what Lucy wanted for him out of 4x08. Them to not be torn about their dad but be there for each other like this. Getting me all emotional cause what I have with my baby sister. You know he’s excited he will get to see his nephews more and such too. I love it.

We finally reach their first scene of the ep. It’s a doozy everyone. But such a good one. This is the stage I like to call it 'Hurts so good.' I will always take good productive angst. Well written angst. It’s the BS teenager angst I cannot stand. These people are in their thirties. They don’t got time for that crap. The secret child or breaking up for no reason other than just to make the miserable. Nothing makes me angrier than useless angst just for the sake of having it.

This right here is the good stuff. They did a damn fine job with their angst. It leads us right into that good pining era as well. There is a knock at Lucy’s door. It’s Tim looking mighty fine if you ask me. Says he’s checking in. Asks Chris how he’s feeling? He replies Lucy is taking care of him. The sweet almost sad look to his smile gets me.

Knowing first hand how caring she is. She cared for him long before he was ready for it. When he didn’t appreciate like he would now. This moment is their breakup before they even got together scene. Because that’s basically what it is. We all know Tim included why she’s really holding back from UC school. Her front is Chris. When really it’s Tim and everything they haven’t untangled from Vegas. They haven’t talked about it whatsoever. Tim is there to clear the air.

Lucy is a little bristly with him at the door. He doesn’t let it deter him. Asking her if he can talk to her? She says yes and follows him out into the hallway. Ahh this hallway where so much happened last time. The context and situation so much different this time around. Tim being straight with her right off the bat. Saying he hears she’s on the fence about UC school. She has been hunting down opinions all day long. The one she needs the most comes to her. I love this sfm. Kudos to the writers for setting up this scene so well. Lucy is shocked Chris called him.

Tim says yes it was unexpected..but he wanted him to talk to her. Interesting how Chris could know Tim would be the voice of reason for her. But can’t figure she’s in love with the man and vice versa. Lucy telling him it’s not the right time. Tim won’t stand for this answer. That she owes it to herself to go. Lucy has been the voice of reason for him many times. There to absolve him of his guilt when he blamed himself about Mitch and Caleb. She couldn’t stand him bearing a burden that wasn’t his.

The beautiful part of this heartbreaking scene is he is now doing the same for her. He came not only about UC school but for her guilt. The guilt she is wearing like armor at the moment. About Chris, about what almost happened between them while he was dying. Tim telling he’s going to be fine. That what happened to him ISN'T her fault. Telling Lucy what she used to tell him. Stop weighing your soul down with guilt that isn’t yours to carry.

Lucy brings up what they were about to do. ‘We were about to..’ The way she says that line there is some longing in there. How yes, she’s still with Chris and the guilt that exists with that. But her desire for what almost happened is still there. She doesn’t want to ignore what almost happened between them.

Tim following up with ‘But we didn’t. We didn’t.’ Gah some longing in his voice too. He too is sad they didn’t. The softness in his voice as he delivers that line. Gah it’s so good. Part of him still wishing they had. They had this awakening of their feelings mixed with UC. Then Chris almost dying throwing a nasty wrench in it all.

There is so much subtext behind the lines they’re saying to each other. Lucy then notes the thing she’s been clinging onto. Being his go-fer. Asking if he’s getting rid of her as it? The hurt in her voice *heart clutch* It's written all over her face. Last thing she wants is for Tim to push her away. It’s why she was avoiding UC school in first place. She doesn’t want to lose working with him if she can’t be with him. It’s the closest thing she has to that and now he’s proposing taking that away.

This feels like a breakup because well it is. Their work dynamic/relationship is a huge part of who they are. It’s how we got to this place we’re in. It’s a sacred thing to both of them. Tim is trying to ease her hurt with his reply. Telling her 'No…he’s just trying to look out for her.' The emotions in his voice as he says this. I wanna cry. They both have pre-tears in their eyes. Tim knows this is the right thing to do. Nothing and I mean nothing is more important to that man than protecting her career. Protecting her. Look how far he has come.

Was almost rabidly against her doing UC. Now he’s encouraging it because he knows it’s what best for her. Even if that means leaving him behind. Tim refuses to jeopardize her career in anyway. It’s why he fought her being his aide at first the way he did. Didn’t want anyone to question her or why she got to where she is. Didn’t want any hand in people thinking less of her when it wasn’t true. That even if it hurts them both he is going to look out for her first and foremost.

Lucy can't believe what she's hearing. It's all over her expression in that first gif above. The hits keep coming with this scene. Tim telling her it’s time to move on. When he’s really saying is about them. They had their shot and now it’s time to move on. That they have to accept it's not going to happen for them. Gah kills me as I’m writing this. Took the man years to realizes he was in love with her. Now that he does he can’t have her. So he’s willing to do the honorable thing. Step aside and put his feelings on back burner.

Set aside what he wants for what she needs. Because he knows Lucy. How selfless she is for those she loves. He refuses to let her give up her aspirations for him. Lucy is crushed with his retort of moving on. They’re both so vulnerable in this scene. It’s what makes it hurt so damn good. Props to Eric and Melissa once again. Conveying so much with their words, eyes, and expressions. We are truly lucky to have them as our ship.

Lucy does some double talk of her own. Saying some time away would be good. Really meaning she can’t be around him especially after him breaking this off. That if she can’t be with him better to be away from him. That this far too painful for her. For them both really. Tim trying to build up her saying what a great opportunity this will be. We know how hard this conversation is for him to have. But it shows the depth of growth in him to have it.

This is so very hard on him to give up. Lucy can’t even say more. Her heart is breaking in this moment. Her person is sending her away from him. All she can muster up is ‘Mmhmm..’ because if she speaks any further she’s going to cry. Tim most definitely won’t be able to handle that. Tim with tears in his eyes telling her she should go for it. Even if it’s killing him inside to be apart from her. To walk away from their potential romantically.

Tim feels the best thing he can do for her is distance himself. He is going to fall on his sword to make sure her future is secure. Now that is love. My goodness. The way she is searching his face in the first gif. Oof. She looks so hurt and angry at him for this. She also is trying to keep her shit together. It breaks my heart. This entire scene does. Then our boy walks away and she looks devastated. He has a smile on his face till he turns away from her. Then we see the heartbreak evident on his beautiful face. Ugh.

How she can go back in Chris after that I don't know.. After this scene I knew this season was going to be a hell of a ride. This was the perfect productive angst for them. Hurt like a SOB to watch. A true gut punch to your feels. But damn so well written and acted. I loved it sfm. Oh my lord I love this season.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Nyla’s entire birth SL is hilarious. It’s an insane ride that I love. ‘It’s a girl’ LMAO LEGEND

Thank you thank you to all you amazing readers. Wouldn’t have gotten this far without you all. Your likes, reblogs and comments fuel My soul to write. Shall see you all in 5x03 :)

[todorroki]

Love Sea ep 8 thoughts

yall i'm gonna watch next week's ep with my vision partially obscured LMAOOO i know what's gonna go down and i'm dreading it (EXCEPT for fort throwing hands i'd like to see that)

i am Living for the mutrak cuddles. is it because we're gonna get pain next ep that they're laying all the sweet moments down rn LMAO

rak and vi are so so similar it's no wonder they're friends. vi refusing to outright tell mook that she likes her, and rak refusing to admit he's in love with mut. the parallels go crazy with these two. not to mention rak telling vi to go home this episode mirroring vi telling rak to go home back in ep 6.

i LOVE this shot of mut and meena so much. they're so similar it's endearing. also nina is such a strong actress. her growth will only make her better, and i hope she goes so far.

now, about the GL side story, i'm glad we're getting a lot more than the book gave. like YES they got a whole makeout scene and the ending credits this time!! i'm just very sad for mook. she is obviously into vi, but thinks vi is just playing around with her. like their whole problem could be solved if vi just said she liked mook. classic misunderstanding plot.

swerving back to mutrak, my god.... the way this scene is so erotic despite them both being full clothed. we didn't get any nc this ep, but mut pinning rak down and telling him he'll fuck him until he can't think of anyone else!!! that whole scene was so hot. that feather light touch on rak's neck... mut telling rak to Say what he wants yea.. the kinky d/s dynamic goes crazy with these two

AND the way fp just devour each other during kiss scenes... yeah mhmm i'm not recovering ever

yall fort's arm is so thick in love sea. my god like i don't think peat's hands r very small either (BUT IDK i've never seen him irl i wouldn't know). anyways the way they're holding each other is kinda driving me nuts sorry

dam.. and they're always just kissing each other like that.

be so fr mmy are yall putting extra nc scenes in the boxset. SPEAK INTO THE MIC.

i think it's so crazy an abusive absent father is trying to tell his son's man to break up with him bc he isn't "good enough" like damn what gives you the right?? like mut said, why should he listen to jak LMAO even jak's reasons were very weak to me.

also, production. why do that dramatic phone screen cracking to hell if you're just gonna make rak pick up a perfectly fine unbroken screen in the next shot ? is it just.. a figurative shattering of the screen to parallel the shattered glass of rak's past? that was a slightly weird way to have the scene play out but ok. i guess. peat's terrified-traumatized acting goes so hard as always.

no spoilers but the main conflict and its resolution is so.... hm. let's just say the way it plays out is not my favorite, though i'm always open to my opinion changing depending on how it's done in the series. i've been enjoying the way the series handles the novel scenes so far. ANYWAYS pain train until like the second half of ep 10 me thinks, and i'm dreading it a little LMAO i know fp are gonna make it hurt 100x more than the novel bc they're good at that.

[earring-stede]

Updated predictions for OFMD season 2 episode 8: Finale

These are my updated predictions based on episodes 6 & 7, the trailer for episode 8, and all the BTS from the previous weeks

I knew that Izzy was gonna be caught, but now I know the whole crew of the Revenge will also be captured, along with Spanish Jackie and most of the Republic of Pirates. In fact the only people not caught during the raid, are Zheng and Stede who escaped to the forest, and Ed who completely missed the Raid after he left Stede.

As I previously predicted, Stede and Zheng will be hiding out together under the bridge from episode 1. Stede will comfort Zheng since Ricky wiped out most of her fleet. The English, however are hot on their heels, and their chase leads them to the beach.

Meanwhile… Ed has been living his regular life as a fisherman. I wouldn’t be surprised if he comes across one of Stede’s letters in a bottle while fishing. This prompts him to find Stede and return to the Republic of Pirates, which he finds in ashes. He will then fish out his leathers and reunite with Stede on the beach, which will mirror Stede’s dream sequence from episode 1.

Zheng, Ed and Stede will then liberate the crew from the English, and then use the uniforms of the slain soldiers to infiltrate the Navy. I don’t know what their goal is, perhaps revenge, perhaps to take back the republic, or stop Ricky once and for all. Let me know your theories.

The mission is a success, and they escape on the Revenge, however Izzy is badly hurt, and Wee John is missing from the rest of the promotional material. I now think the funeral scene I discussed in a previous post could come after their escape. Which raises the possibility that Izzy could die. I don’t know for sure - it could go either way. On one hand, I think it makes more sense for Wee John to die and Izzy to live, as discussed in my previous prediction posts. However, most non-spoiler reviews of episode 8 emphasise Con’s performance, and Wee John isn’t mentioned. This could indicate a dramatic death scene for Izzy, and that Wee John just might be absent from the second half of this episode like he was in episode 5. I am on the fence over who will die. Let me know your theories and I will place my bets with my episode 8 bingo sheet next week.

As for how the episode ends, we can see in the trailer that most of the crew will continue to sail on the Revenge, with Zheng as its new crew member. Although we don’t see Ed or Stede. This could mean that they have chosen to retire together, but my prediction is that they choose to continue to live at sea as pirates, BUT, under their own terms. The antagonist of this series is normality, and Stede from the beginning has asked what if we did things differently? I think the show is setting up this new form of piracy that would work for both Stede and Ed. What if instead of raiding and pillaging, they act as a beacon of light and a safe space for other pirates wishing to change. By saving these lost souls at sea, the crew sound less like pirates, and more like… mermen?

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

It's december already which just feels insane to me. Christmas is coming which makes me happy but this year went by too fast. Anyway as usual, spoilers and opinions below, read at your own risk.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇭 Caged Again [4/10] - Junior is one of my favourite characters. He never learned to deceive so he just says what he feels like it's the most natural thing. And his confidence and optimism are contagious. I love him. And Sun is just smitten and terrible at hiding it so it's a good thing Junior is completely clueless about these things. I'm loving Jodd and Jeng and since they are also animals, I think we're getting more about them next episode. I can't wait. 🇹🇭 Fourever You [9/16] - I am so incredibly bored. They are stretching these two paris for no reason. They should have just given us the four pairs in 16 eps cause this is torture. 🇯🇵Fragrance You Inherit [3/8] - It's lovely. I love Sakura. I really liked the scene in the restaurant. Sakura talking about being a single mom and Mone being supportive brought tears to my eyes. It was a beautiful moment. I love the relationship between the moms and the kids and I'm curious to see how Toki will react, if he in fact doesn't know already. It's also interesting to think about what exactly parents owe their kids or not, specially regarding something like that. Fansubs being provided by @isaksbestpillow. Thank you🧡 🇯🇵Love in the Air Koi [5/10] - The pacing is so much better here. I agree with @lurkingshan here and the kidnappings will probably be combined somehow. I like the second couple a bit better here than the thai version, but I'm still not the biggest fan of this storyline. Although Fuma is better than Prapai.

🇯🇵 Love is a Poison [11/12] - Shiba is so in love. I always believed, just like Shan, that Haruto was coming back, but it was painful watching Shiba hurt. Only one episode left where they will defeat the bad guy and live happily ever after. I will not accept anything else. 🇯🇵Miseinen [4/11] - Well at least they are 'friends' now. I can't with these two. That ice cream scene was insane and it's burned into my brain. This is a great adaptation and I need all the episodes like right now.

🇹🇭 Perfect 10 Liners [6/24] - PondSand are everything to me basically. I'm so over ArcArm and I need the next couple stat. It looks like this will be another parade of guest stars which is kinda fun and next week Sea will make an appearance along with the always fun jealousy plot which hopefully will end with them being boyfriends so we can move on to the next couple.

🇹🇼 See Your Love [7/13] - The contraste between the couples is hilarious to me. The sign language scenes were the cutest and they are adorable. And this must be a record number of the 'falling into each other's arms and almost kissing but not' trope. No one is that clumsy. The sides are bonkers.

🇹🇭 Spare Me Your Mercy [1/8] - Strong start. I'm reserving judgement but I like the setting a lot, so many MoD vibes, and I like this pair. They can act.

🇹🇭 The Heart Killers [2/12] - I'm watching quietly.

🇹🇭 Your Sky [3/12] - This might be too cute. Teerak is adorably clueless and Fah is so smitten. He came up with that nickname so fast, it's almost as if he's been calling him that in his head for a while. Also, the friend group is amazing at running interference. That scene in the lift was great. And I love the scenes with the Teerak and Babe.

QL - Finished

This is gonna be the quick-fire version cause I'm tired.

🇨🇳 Blue Canvas of Youthful Days - Great until episode 10. Unearned and unbelievable ending. Mostly forgiven because China. 🇰🇷🇹🇭 Eccentric Romance - What did I watch? was it bl? was it a crime drama? No idea, but it was not good.

🇹🇭 Every You, Every Me - Rushed ending but I really liked the bl inside the bl. I wanna see these two again.

🇹🇭 Jack & Joker - YinWar. On my screen. In 2024. Even if it was bad, it was good.

🇹🇭 Kidnap - Proof that Ohm will pretty much get me to watch anything.

🇰🇷 Let Free the Curse of Taekwondo - Pain and snow and happy endings.

🇰🇷 Love in the Big City - As close to perfection as anything I ever watched. Young will stay with me forever.

🇹🇭 Peaceful Property - A mess and also proof that TayNew will get me to watch anything.

🇰🇷My Damn Business - It was fine.

🇹🇼 The Nipple Talk - Mama was a gift.

Others - Watched

🇰🇷 Bad Guy | 🇯🇵Seoul Blues | 🇯🇵Blue Boys | 🇹🇼Marry My Dead Body | 🇯🇵Some Love Begins with Mistaken Identity | 🇰🇷Taming the Bad Boy | 🇰🇷Joseon Chefs | 🇰🇷The History of Us | 🇯🇵 Polyethylene Terephthalate 1 & 2

And continuing my YinWar agenda they just released a song and the video is hilarious.

As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful week💜