#also that thing about the queen eating canadians

[windwenn]

I have to add as someone who went through a MASSIVE conspiracy theory/unexplained mystery phase (not that i subscribed to any conspiracies ofc, theyre just very entertaining to me) i unironically kind of love how convoluted it is, bc it feels like exactly what it's going for, which is a big conspiracy

Im so fascinated by my x-files obsession like i have been watching this show nonstop for about three days now. Critically speaking it isn't actually that good. But it is also perfect. And it has vibes so incredible and main character chemistry so strong that the fanfic is probably the real masterpiece here (i have not read any yet)

[lionmythflower]

evan rosier headcanons under the cut

Twins w pandora

He has a chinchilla (its name is dusty, barty helped name it)

He's rlly good friends w remus

In a book club w lily, remus,dorcas and regulus

He's Canadian

So he kinda had a very slight American accent

Sleeps and listens to music on long car rides

Knows Canadian French

Asexual

either gay or bi

Poc

has a tattoo of "bcjr" on his neck or shoulder (barty has a matching one of "Rosie")

Would love MARINA and Florence + the Machines

Was probably more of an ABBA fan then a queen fan

lily got him into music like ABBA and Remus got him into music like David Bowie

Would also love Arctic Monkey

Would love makeup

Has those star eyeliner stamps and he absolutely rocks them

Bigender (stole this hc from someone can't remember who at that moment)

probally goes by he/they pronouns

Pandora and Evan steal each other's clothes sm that they don't know who's is who's at this point

So ppl are like " wasn't pandora wearing that the other day?" and evan will be like "idk maybe?" And vise versa

Would love Greek mythology

Has heterochromia and his eyes are blue and green so he's is looking at u like 🔵_🟢 (O_O) (pandora also has eyes like that)

"you have heterophobia in ur eyes" "...you mean heterochromia?" "no" (barty and evan)

i feel like he would be able to play like 3 instruments and would love love love music sm

Has so. Many. Ear. Piercings.

Lace and fishnet gloves

RINGS

Evan, pandora, Dorcas, regulus, and Barty all wear rings and they all js like share rings

Would love fairy tale retellings

100% read song of Achilles and sobbed

His parents are like really that mean js very strict and they don't really give him enough privacy and it's suffocating

Has sensory overloads sometimes and he will just cling to Barty or Pandora bc they both make him feel safe when it's too much

Also has panic attacks

Says things like "I wanna kms" and ppl think he's joking but he's really not

Baggy clothes

layers his clothes a lot

had like three sweatshirts/sweaters that he LOVES

eating disorder (idk which one but he definitely has one)

Constantly has a headache

Is actually rlly su!sidal but he's only told like 2 ppl (probably Pandora and reg or barty)

Either never gets sick or gets sick every month (depends on the year)

Doesn't like talking abt his problems

Will not ask for help unless he has basically given up

Is rlly smart

He's like everything smart but doesn't really care abt math or science

That one kid who's reading and not paying attention the entire class and then gets an A on every test

He's parents don't really care about grades but he does and he gets really stressed abt grades

Would 100% be that person that you wouldn't think would be a feminist and then someone makes a rude comment abt women and he would go off on them

Very pretty

Always cold. Always

Would have loved all the movies that Millie Bobby Brown is in (Enola Holmes, and Damsel mainly)

Would love ppl doing his nails (even though he's good at doing it himself)

doc martins

Would have converse and would draw on them

Has so many books (both barty and evan rant to each other abt the books they read)

Would have adhd but more of the not able to focus side

He's nail polish is almost always chipped bc they pick at it w/o even realizing he's doing it

would have so many bracelets

Hates silence but hates loud noise even more

Had earbuds in 24/7

"Look at the moon! :0" no matter what phase the moon is in (does the same thing w the sky)

Would get sooo happy when ever he was in a place where u can clearly see the stars at night bc "omg look, you can see the stars! Their so pretty!!!"

They're so energetic but also so laid back

Pretty much all or nothing for everything (emotions, activities, relationship etc.)

Really good at drawing

normally types in all lowercase so he doesn't come off as intimating

Evan and pandora probably made fun of the pure blood stereotypes so much

(I've made by point abt this hc a lot but I'mma say it again) : Evan and regulus arguing over the pronouncing of different French words bc Evan is Canadian French and Regulus is European French lol

He's an introvert you can't tell me otherwise

Was almost put into ravenclaw bc he was arguing w the sorting hat and it was like "ok valid points, ur probably a ravenclaw" and then Evan told the hat to go fuck itself and it put him in Slytherin 💀

Definition of a keyboard smash idk how to explain it

Would have loved Pinterest

wow this is really long. I'mma make one of these for Peter later :)

[vapemaster42069]

More headcanons [c!s only, no cc!s]

Mumbo can't do math for shit, both because dyscalculia and because trial by fire is much more entertaining. Everything he knows about redstone has come from fucking around and finding out. Will the comparator detect this signal from the skulk sensor? Yes. Why? Fuck if he knows. He's spent a lot of time in and around the Deep Dark recently. Wardens, if approached slowly, are surprisingly soft and like to cuddle. They don't understand the low stress threshold of human ribs, however. He keeps having problems because Wardens are clingy, and they cry when he leaves, and when other people cry he starts crying, so his nights usually end up with him stumbling into his vault, sleep-deprived and on the brink of tears, holding the remains of some redstone project to his chest. Grian is slightly worried. He's created another shrine.

Pearl has a Jimmy shrine. For the bit. Sausage has considered searching for it for his Lore.

Scar is actually an incredible fighter, but his general discombobulation is so convincing of his ineptitude that no one trusts him to do shit without falling flat on his face. He's like a sleeper agent.

Etho's mask started as an inside joke during Mindcrack, when he showed up with a cold and wore a medical mask, and Bdubs kept calling him "cutiepie" with the mask on. This is a 15-year bit. The commitment is unreal. Bdubs doesn't even remember why Etho wears a mask. It's a self-contained bit. This man is insane.

I've mentioned this before. False eats raw eggs for the protein. She keeps the shell on. She says the shell adds texture. She doesn't like cooked eggs, actually. Her breakfast consists of protein-powder oatmeal and raw eggs with the fucking shell on. She doesn't drink tea, coffee, or anything with caffeine. She is rawdogging life like no one else.

Doc has formed an incidental emotional attachment to several eggs that a bird laid on the roof of his base. Creepers don't fuck around with eggs. Grian has caught him sitting up there, avidly speaking to them about his plans for the Perimiter, and moved on with that "What the fuck, Doc" look on his face. Doc also regularly sneaks soft blankets up to his roof to wrap the eggs and protect them. He gets extremely nervous when other people enter the base, in case they harm the eggs. There's a betting pool on what he's hiding and when the server will explode. X knows about the eggs. He started the betting pool. Doc has a stake in it.

When Beef was younger, someone told him he didn't sound Canadian enough, so he started emphasizing his accent. His voice is stuck this way now. It's like a long-term bit with unconsentual commitment. Goddamn Canadian man. He likes black licorice.

Tango has built a secret room into DO2 that contains a dinner table, fake candles, and cardboard cutouts of the cast of Friends. Zed has located this room. He's afraid to ask about it.

Zedaph doesn't like waffles. He's vegetarian, but only because Impulse dared him to be. He eats raw eggs with False for the bit. She's not joking.

False drinks oat milk. I cannot emphasize this enough. What is wrong with her./lh

Ren decided that their weekly meetings were too boring, so they now have a weekly segment of whatever he wants to present to them. At one point, Joe did a presentation on the most effective way to create presentations. There's a lot of Star Wars. Sometimes there are musical segments. One time, (emphasis on one time; it'll never happen again. The event has become legendary at this point.) he convinced X to do karaoke. X is the Dancing Queen. While his vocal register doesn’t quite reach that of ABBA, he put his entire xisussy into it and the performance was sick as fuck.

Impulse can't dance. He's tried.

Pearl can breakdance. It is terrifying and enormously impressive.

Scar knits.

Iskall and Mumbo have a thing where they have to do the sickest dap every time they see each other. It’s getting painful. Mumbo's pretty sure one of his finger bones cracked last time. They always try once, fail and do the "LOOK AT MY ELBOW. RIGHT HERE. NINETY DEGREES." spiel. Mumbo has to fix his musache afterwards from the fucking shockwave of incredible dappage.

Whenever Etho enters a room, Iskall yells "YEAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH! CANADAAAAAA!". Etho is amused, but won't admit it.

All of the non-Americans make up random shit to confuse the Americans. Etho claims you have to remove your shoes when you enter a room, per Canadian tradition. Stress insists that it’s insulting to English people to not dock your chair after you’re done eating. Doc nods respectfully to the geese that live in the Perimeter. Mumbo and Grian make up British words. Keralis makes innuendos. It’s unrelated to his birthplace, but worth mentioning. Iskall has a closet full of an impressive variety of brooms that he chooses from according to occasion, as per a fake Swedish tradition.

Impulse cooks with olive oil, not butter.

Ren cooks with butter, not oil.

False rawdoggs the pan and uses nothing. It’s a non-stick pan, she says. It’s fine, she says. It’s not like she’s cooking eggs on it anyways, she says.

Doc blasts music when he’s working. He sings along enthusiastically, loudly, and poorly. It startles the birds in the Perimeter, but is extremely endearing.

Mumbo listens to music in his earbuds while he’s working. If you startle him, he will scream like a small cornered animal.

Grian almost never sleeps in his base. He has little nests hidden across the server like a hornet, as well as regular spots in the shopping district, on various roofs, in Scarland, and inside Mumbo’s vault.

Gem makes eyeliner out of various types of fungus.

Cub is almost singularly responsible for the phantom lag issues on the server. During season 8, the sheer volume of phantoms following him was enough to trigger a lag hotspot nearly as slow as Boatem’s. His sleep schedule is absolutely fucked. If you want to collaborate with him, usually it’s in the dead of night, like two to four am. He also goes on walks at night, when he wakes up. If you see a dark shape lingering at the edge of the woods, slowly approaching you, it’s probably a sleepy Cubfan looking for more coffee.

One time Ren and Skizz (ik he’s not a hermit but he’s got hutzpah, alr?) got into a call after a Life series session. So many variations of “dude” and “man” were used, their conversation became nearly incomprehensible to everyone around them.

[fratboykate]

Papi, I didn't know about PVRIS and Lynn before you started talking about them yesterday and now I'm obsessed. Maybe I'm behind on queer artists. Can you give us a few more to check out?

SAY LESSSSSSSSSS you know i live for this shit and queer music during pride month? lets goooo. ill give you five wlw artists that i think are criminally underrated. id be hard pressed to pick a fave out of all of these because i genuinely think they all make EXCELLENT music but...

...probably THE ACES have it by a HAIR. i just love them. queer women, LATINA LEAD SINGER! (and her sister is in the band too), alt-indie/pop-rock dreamy vibes. andddd you're in luck because they just released a new album literally in the last week. between them and pvris we're gonna have a gay soundtrack this summer. i think if you made me pick like the 500 fave songs of my life the aces would have a few in there all over the rankings but "daydream" would be VERY high up. there's something about it that feels like a serotonin shot to the chest. i never not blast this song while driving:

ELIJAH WOODS x JAMIE FINE...Jamie is the queer woman/vocalist. they were a canadian duo but they broke up a few years ago and Jamie is releasing some music independently which is still amazing because her voice is sublime but the work they did together is on CONSTANT rotation for me. some astounding alt-pop goodness.

i mentioned LAUREN SANDERSON and her "songs ill eat you out to" ep last night when talking about pvris but she deserves her standalone shoutout. she's close with one of my best friends in the world so we've gotten to hang out a few times and not only is she making some incredible and unapologetic queer music but she's also a super dope human. can't say enough good things about her. she's fully independent so support her music if you can. it's truly good. unbiased opinion. "frustrated" has been on my top 100 songs on every "wrapped" since it was released. i love this song. "queen bee" is just like PEAKKKKKK makeout song. trust me. find a girl. have that as your soundtrack while you're kissing. 10/10 recommend.

CASSIDY KING is probably the most underrated here. her yt videos get like 1-3k views and it makes me sad because i loveeeeee her stuff. the tone of her voice tickles my ears.

this is not one of my top two recs but i GOTTA shout it out because not only is it her most famous song (100k yt views lol) but...listen...if you've ever dated the straight girl who dates you in secret while publicly flirting with dudes or the closeted girl who refuses to break up with her boyfriend DO WE HAVE A SONG FOR YOU lol

on the opposite end of cassidy is CHELSEA CUTLER. she's probably the most well known here but i still dont think EVERY gay knows about her so im including her because jamming or having horny songs is incredible but we also need songs to be miserable too and she's A MASTER at that lol this live performance of "sometimes" has made me cry more than once if the mood is even slightly off haha

[charlesandmartine]

Saturday 1st July 2023

Happy Canada Day

This day recalls 156 years since in 1867 when the US beneath them appeared to be gaining in influence, three great chunks of administrations decided to come together under one all embracing banner, Canada instead of BNA (British North America). Until 1982 it was called Dominion Day, but I guess that might mean different things to different people so it was changed again. Originally it was Anniversary of Confederation Day. Well that sounds exceedingly Victorian and stuffy. Legislation, passed by the British Parliament, created Canada as a new, domestically self-governing federation, consisting of the provinces of New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Ontario and Quebec, on July 1, 1867, although it looks like BC didn't chip in their tuppence ha'pence until 1871. Further to this, a royal decree in 1868 requests all Her Majesty's Canadian subjects should celebrate on 1st July. It all seems very complicated and how Queen Vic kept up with it from thousands of miles away in London, goodness only knows. Well anyway from what we have seen so far is that Canadians are intending a right knees up and joining in with the spirit of the thing. Flags are up, schools are off and all the RVs (recreational vehicles) are on the road heading for the lakes and coast.

Now Lonely Planet does not brim over with excitement vis-a-vis Salmon Arm. It struggles to find any preoccupation for a tourist who has strayed this far off the beaten and has probably little sympathy if he did.

As the day progressed and expectations were high, the picture that comes to mind is rather that of a damp squib. There was a small hiatus along the main road in downtown Salmon Arm. A group of enthusiastic Canadian citizens were agitated about something. Canada maple leaf flags were abundant and there were placards regarding rights either to be in the LGBT community or possibly not to be as such. Honk if you agree. Hmm, not actually being exactly clear on the subject we deferred.

That being the only incident involving flags etc we proceeded down to the wharf on Sushwap Lake for a little Canada Day preamble. Well be careful who you talk to. We met an elderly Canadian and his elderly oriental wife on the jetty who surprisingly appeared a little anti Canadian and did somewhat confirm the Lonely Planet guide's summation of Salmon Arm; there's not much here. On reflection he came up with a couple of suggestions for us to occupy our time here with. Go to Herald Provincial Park he said. Also you might walk alongside the lake in the other direction. With no other suggestions we did just that. Sadly, all the other revellers went as well. In the middle of nowhere this place was too! We ate our sandwiches, looked forlornly around for somewhere to get a drink, gave up and drove 20km back to Salmon Arm to do number two on the long list of two. This was entirely agreeable. We strolled in the searing sun along the lakeside path which weaved around what was in effect breeding grounds for birds and waterfowl. We saw Red Winged Blackbirds, Clark's Grebe and Western Grebe among others. Loads of Canada Geese of course (in their correct home locality). It was like being in Slimbridge. Following the course of the lake was the main line railway. Amazing freight trains that I calculated to be 1.5km in length rumbled by!

On returning to town we went to search for the celebrations commemorating such an important day. Well, perhaps there'll be more tomorrow? The town was dead, no parties where we are staying, couldn't even find a pub for a beer, nothing....

We had our own celebration; bottle of Canadian SB and sausage egg fried rice.

ps It is said that one should drink a Caesar and eat chicken wings to celebrate Canada Day. We couldn't find anywhere open to even try this aspect of support for the event!

pps This is a stunningly beautiful country. The danger is not to be blinded by repetition of seeing too many lakes, mountains and waterfalls.

ppps Tomorrow we are on the road again, further into the mountains to a place called Golden. Lonely Planet seems a little undecided about this, but we are very optimistic.

[hiwasseeriver]

downton abbey season 2 finale character inventory

robert: points for…. kind of. supporting Sybil in the end and also being cool with Mary when he found out about her mess but really do want to sic termites on this man. Cora should roast him on a spit and i hope the guilt never leaves him

cora: glad she isn’t dead but did not like her rivalry with isobel. like sure its your house but what do you actually know about hospitals. girl nothing. has mean girl vibes sometimes. i find her accent and mannerisms so so so funny for some reason though

violet: if i actually made a list of objectionable things the characters have done and based these off of that i would probably not have a strong opinion of her but. she’s violet. she’s number 1 queen bitch slay. her moment with daisy was really cute

mary: i know shes my romantic heroine or whatever but she annoys me sorryyy just glad this hot n cold bs is finally over and we can move ON. you couldve married matthew from jump like pleasse. but theyre cute together

edith: stocks SOARRRED this season she was Beast Rank in season one but someone mentioned the war making her nicer and they were right. her being recognized for all her hospital stuff was sweet and i felt so bad with the whole canadian guy thing……when she eventually falls in love they’ll probably be my favorite couple. just wish she didnt kiss a married guy

sybil: beautiful. pregnant. uniting ireland. winning always. top of the pile

matthew: good guy. cute. kinda boring. glad his legs are okay. got his lady. was good to lavinia

isobel: they could NEVER MAKE ME HATE YOU MRS. CRAWLEY NOT EVER!!!! because she’s too involved in HELPING OTHER PEOPLE these rich hags are trying to make me think shes like an annoying busybody. love her

anna & bates: in the trenches but at least they both got it in before he was locked up

mr. carson: grandpa <3 funniest moment of the season was him fucking with the telephone

mrs. hughes: grandmaaaaaa <333333 actually maybe the biggest heart on the show. i wish i had a set of keys like hers to wear around

thomas: devil twink. sorry about the hand but he deserved to lose all his money + was mean to a dog. kind of hope he grows a heart eventually i did feel bad when his little crush bit it. wish i had a gay person i could root for on this show

o’brien: stocks rising……still made a woman miscarry out of spite but its obvious the guilt is eating her alive. may eventually turn on thomas and i’ll cheer. solo hag rights

daisy: FINALLY STOOD UP!!!!!!! THANK GOD!!!!!!!!

mrs. patmore: always funny but leave daisy alone. she could have stopped the snowball of the whole william thing if she didnt guilt her into it

lavinia: died only so mary and matthew could get together. deserved so much better than what the writers did to her she stuck by that man no matter what.

isis: no longer in a shed. woof woof

[shotattheshow]

[REVIEW] Bowling For Soup @ Rickshaw Theatre

By Jacob Zinn

It’s hard to believe it’s been 20 years since Bowling For Soup’s A Hangover You Don’t Deserve was released – but it’s even harder to believe that Friday was their first time performing in Vancouver since the 2003 Warped Tour, before their biggest album ever came out.

But the pop-punk stalwarts finally found their way north of the border for a series of Canadian dates, including a sold out headliner at the Rickshaw Theatre to celebrate the album’s 20th anniversary.

[PHOTOS] Bowling For Soup @ Rickshaw Theatre

The temporary trio from Texas (founding lead guitarist Chris Burney is recovering from surgery) was joined by Insta-famous Long Island rock quartet Adam and the Metal Hawks and Rhode Island pop punkers MAKEOUT (formerly Trophy Wives) for easily one of the funnest shows of the year.

[PHOTOS] MAKEOUT @ Rickshaw Theatre

MAKEOUT got things started with a series of instant singalongs like “Childish, “Lisa” (to anyone named Lisa, they’re so sorry) and the ever-catchy “Crazy.” Guitarist Tyler Young and vocalist Kyle Dee warmed the crowd up from the front of the stage while drummer Scott Eckel kept a low profile in the back – all-in-all, an impressive opening set by the touring three-piece.

[PHOTOS] Adam and the Metal Hawks @ Rickshaw Theatre

From social media to the stage, AMH kicked off their set with the Rocky Horror Picture Show classic “Time Warp” and alternated between original tunes such as “Backwards” and “Fine Line” – all heavily influenced by the likes of Led Zeppelin, AC/DC and Tenacious D – and covers of Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now,” The Killers’ “Mr. Brightside” and Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle.”

Then came time for Bowling For Soup – the 21-year wait was over! Going song for song, singer/guitarist Jaret Reddick, drummer Gary Wiseman and bassist Rob Felicetti launched into the came-up-short anthem “Almost” followed by headwear love song “Trucker Hat” and their biggest smash earworm, “1985.”

Touring on an album means playing it front-to-back in its entirety – all 17 tracks – and about halfway through, singer Jaret Reddick acknowledged that their set was inadvertently front-loaded by the album’s three hit singles. (Including the highlight of MAKEOUT taking over the onstage responsibilities during “Ohio (Come Back to Texas)” midsong.)

“This next song is my favourite song on the album,” said Reddick, referring to “Last Call Casualty.”

“I think it should’ve been a hit, but we had three or four other ones off this album, and we’ve already played them so you guys are going, ‘Fuck, shit…’ But here’s the thing, if you guys make it through this whole album, we’re gonna play more hits afterwards!”

And indeed they did! After peppering in some other AHYDD favourites like “Next Ex-Girlfriend,” “A-Hole” and “Smoothie King,” Reddick invited a lucky fan named Brittany onstage to spin a wheel for the next song – she crossed her fingers for “Emily,” and as fate would have it, the spin actually landed on it!

The encore rounded out the night with three of the band’s biggest early-to-mid 2000s throwbacks.

First up, “High School Never Ends” perfectly reminded us of the celebrity culture of its time, and how little has changed in the last two decades. Then, perhaps for some of the younger fans, they led right into “Today is Gonna Be a Great Day,” the Phineas and Ferb theme song – there were more than a few Perry the Platypus hats in the crowd so this was a big one, even for those who attended Punk Rock 101.

And, of course, the show wouldn’t be complete without the penultimate song about your high school crush on a goth girl with a choker, “Girl All the Bad Guys Want.”

“Ladies and gentlemen, I hate goodbyes, but I do love the fact that we get to leave you… with THE BEST SONG EVER SUNG,” said Reddick before riffing into the finale.

But he also left the Vancouver crowd with some hope for a return sooner than later.

“It’s been a long time since we played in Canada, it’s been a long time since we toured here,” he said, “and I hope that we won’t take that long of a break again, it would be great to come back a time or two very, very soon.”

[scentedchildnacho]

I did have a screaming episode more like the victim shoved down a well in the silence of the lambs...at Clarisse starling....its God bitch you will help me now

It will put the lotion on itself about Canadian dugas theory on nun a vut treaties...those ladies of course believed in austerity and pulling roots from the dry ground

Anyway help did arrive so my blood sugar is back up and im.not sleep deprived or dehydrated I do more pray to saint John and scottish new left theory for mercy

John galliano wants to give me the candy and coffee he wants things good to him instead

Uhm fruitive aspects have also been homogenized so I think my culture or genetic disposition does get very phrenetic if im not allowed work apologies from felons like caramel coloring in pepsi

If you go to this type of man he can help call your stuff just bad a bit and stop the Asian factory threats

I think the security was more communists at Taiwan culture here so

And that's all I have known China to be in the states and those contracts were given to Taiwan so stop stalking please

Falun dafa I have a preventative culture and that's communists are more then bad people that was terrorizing

I was white and treaties I guess have to be very controlling China has to help immigrants and I as white should go back to plateau not basin

Its a city mall in the states so claiming a nation is a counter culture has no relevance so that's my discrimination complaint

I may not go for crab I'm who really wanted to go to crabby fast food and I was told white chicks may not have crab and fries

I'm who did want panda I wanted panda

And that's I don't like women who stare at me on Mira Mesa Blvd. Because that area is schizophrenogenic their such nature health freaks they cause schizophrenia

Im baby k and those channeled chicks would not stop staring at me

She told me there is nothing she hates more then fish.....it's the fish and I can't go Eudora welty

Oh my God that security threatened my life so badly I wanted to kill myself

The immigrant security by Vons......said he was from Afghanistan but I think it's chezch people if it's Bosnia herzgovinia they steal out our stuff and try to put European depression cafes in

I'm a hungry to the Vons security a plath a Sylvia so

Americans did bomb Afghanistan so badly they became homeless colonies and homeless colonies may be terrorists so I think the security is maybe lying

Bosnia herzgovinia was largely Muslim so it's if their going to do that here then Moscow was bombed

Eventually a tattooed white man arrived at Dunkin donuts to keep eating in front of me who looked like a soft white underbelly confession who would help find porn off homeless camps so

So that security wanted to call me not a real woman and children of God camp rape me so I don't think I'm all that crazy for preparing to kill myself before enduring the rape planned

The boob queen won't stop trapping herself by a bathroom to help with feeding training to incoming immigrants so the boob queen has to finally tell the men no that's unsanitary

The Fish won't stop trying to cause deformism in poor Muslim areas so Moscow was bombed they are these blue eyed men with no genetic relevance to white people here and it is the blue eyes that has white genetic relevance

The Czech security by Vons that is a Putin ite it looks white and has no relation to us at all

Put....ins golf of no meaning or genetic relevance here

They called us a bugs hitlerite and wouldnt even serve us our Pepsi because a roach poison is in it

Because the blue eyed negro is not white and he thinks he is negro and he is a creepy Czech putinite

My aid asked me what I was doing so I said they sent us to a program in pacific beach....that appears to be heretical

The apostolic documentaries have proved some of this violence is a demonic possession

So they were claiming very violent felonies were people the homeless had to forcibly allow in our programs so I was verbally battered and injured by constant activity and poor sleeping all the time

All they did to me in pb was psychologically batter me I felt like anne frank

Peace is the most insipid man and he could at any time have said no active duty to the felons that just addict around and dissipate energy in violent nothing but peace told us to endure so

And that's I was called an arsonist when the city does have deconstruction work for me

They passify some of us so badly peace does and then try to make us explode at people when they could give us work attire and appropriate safety attire

The men in the pb program have viral odours worse then anything I have ever smelled so I think the compass toilet had body parts flushed down it not toilet paper

Its Dakota country paranoia there is so bad the little lambs the boys Jesuses little lambs were sacrificed in Dakota country

Ruth mas in boulder called me a paranoid I do not do anything violent because I found out as a woman I prefer not having children....I do like liberal history so I have not had to be violent....

If I had to birth I think I dont want pregnancy and have never wanted pregnancy because He would call me a beater the Czech security wants to sell Russians at much higher rates so I would get called a beater

Baltics killed Fred Hampton not whites....Fred Hampton was like elected and baltics couldn't sell Russian privilege under Fred

Anyway I told my aid about pb that those felons do need to be under seclusion orders they cannot be around people here they have reeky odours worse then anything I have ever endured and cannot socialize in any way anymore

They hate white people and so will not lobby for the guns to take care of people that offensive

Anyway I explained to my aid that la Jolla and pb have plans to deconstruct downtown areas and some social housing for a large park with some real estate which is to me a really good idea

White people are not french and it's a repulsive disgusting distressed Parisian nightmare there

Uhm because gainful employment is with energy companies deconstructing prior nuke projects

Its really not a good beach for tourism it's a very scary work port more like modern reads from Mississippi culture like gertrude stein

Anyway I probably do need to go to rehabilitation awhile and pb is not an area that wants population growth so I have to go probably to an institution awhile

And I've found out I am more union then confederate and I need larger populations to have sanitation in life

[kylekozmikdeluxo]

I wanna talk about a song for a minute. It's an older song, at that. I'm out of touch, so I get to do that-

'Mrs. Toad's Cookies', by Klaatu, from the album MAGENTALANE, 1981.

Klaatu, a Canadian rock group that was largely active circa 1973 up until the release of this album, has a fascinating and somewhat frustrating history. If you're into the music of the 20th century and weird pop cultural phenomenons, I recommend reading up on these guys who some dingus on the East Coast posited were The Beatles reunited under an anonymous name... Due to similarities in their music and that of the broken up Beatles', and all these "clues" that this guy thought were indicators... Basically, most conspiracy theories are either dumb or some bored person making up shit. Much like the legendary "Paul is Dead" mythos, much like everything you hear from Fox News or head from Alex Jo- So, this silly little theory in turn blew their record sales up some few months after their debut album - 3:47 EST - came and went in the U.S. in the bicentennial summer. Sales which then plummeted after Americans found out who these three Canadians actually were and wrongly took them to be Beatle impostors. Yikes... Tough crowd, eh? A shame, because they were - to these ears - a legit great group. Their music, I feel, is like an ELO/Beatles/Queen-esque love letter to late '60s pop music innovations mixed with a naive, almost midcentury Walt Disney-ian sci-fi wonderment (they even have an unreleased song called 'Thank You, Walt Disney', to ram the point home) and whimsy.

Anyways, 'Mrs. Toad's Cookies', off of their final album...

If THE WIND IN THE WILLOWS and FROG & TOAD were song, it'd sound a lot like this, I reckon. You also got a toad with a tummy ache after gorging on tons of sweets, hey look it's me! I.B.S. problems, ya know?

This chorus is particularly interesting to me:

Ooh good is good and bad is bad As anybody knows But too too much good can be as sadly sad As too much bad you know

Whether it's Mr. Toad eating all the cookies, or Mrs. Crow picking all her flowers, we have two characters getting a little excessive here and facing some consequences for their actions... And in a sort of whimsical way, almost like a moral being softly stated in a children's picture book, we hear "too much good can be as sadly sad, as too much bad you know". It really is a charming picture book in song form.

As a 30-year-old AH-dult, I sometimes struggle with... I don't think addiction is entirely the right word, because it isn't drugs or alcohol. But I have "addictions" of sorts, I'm very bad with time management, and I tend to put too much focus on some things and not other things. I don't balance all of my commitments well, especially when I'm going through things.

I was diagnosed as autistic as a small child, about 5 years old, in the late 1990s. I was never diagnosed as ADHD, but learning from fellow ADHD-havers, it sometimes *can* overlap with autism. And I feel I have A LOT of the ADHD symptoms. One I learned via a YouTuber thru an exclusive video of hers elsewhere, which I think cleared a lot up for me... One thing some people w/ ADHD do is that when something major is going to happen in a few hours, the ADHD-haver *does not* engage in ANYTHING else until that big something happens... This is almost me to a tee. I regularly do this with work, visits, appointments, meeting people, etc. It's like preparation, laser-focusing on this ONE thing but leaving out the other stuff...

And UH OH, I'm behind on making comics, I'm behind on making art, I'm behind on watching the massive Burj Khalifa-tall list of stuff I've never seen, a-GAHHHHHH! And then, as a coping mechanism of sorts, I'm on my computer again! I'm on my phone again! I'm (NSFW topic) again! I'm going on a looooong drive again! I need to balance things, and be better with time management, and be able to steadily commit to all the things I want to devote my time to. Comics, art, going out, handling work well, and living a pretty cool life outside of the house too.

It's largely because I've moved out a few months ago, I feel kind of lost these days because everyone I know or have known is either MAGA or leans right while I'm slowly transitioning into being an enby/genderqueer weirdo, my job that I've had for eight years kinda sucks these days, the job search is T-O-R-T-U-R-E and the rent and other things that cost green paper are looming.

All this, over a song about a toad who needs to book it to the toilet.

Here's the bridge of that song:

Do you wonder will tomorrow be a better place Well that only time can show But if we put our heads into a better space Then maybe we could make it so

I know, Klaatu songwriters... Specifically Jon Woloschuk and Dino Tome... I know... I'm gonna keep trying...

[gwenivere]

✰          META  /  HEADCANON     :          TIMELINE.

like most properties in literature and visual medias, we are not given an approximate time / date for most of the events that dictate gwen's past, present and future. therefore, the following will be an attempt to pin down some key points in her story, in order to give some semblant of background when it comes to seasons, school terms, etc. the following is mostly headcanon-based, with elements of reality borrowed such as the date of certain episodes airing. in general, i consider the earliest airing date ( usually canadian for events of season one / book one and two , and australian for season two / book three and four ) to be the date of most events, but there are exceptions, such as the final group of episodes.

•   as stated in a prior post, gwen was born on november 2nd 1988, in toronto, canada. since her birthday and specific birth place were never stated in the series and books , i have decided to give her the same birthday and birth place as her actress .

•   gwen and her mother arrive in griffinvale , australia through a flight from canada to melbourne around late march 2002 . following their arrival , karen starts to completely withdraw herself , hardly speaking and hardly sleeping . during that month, gwen has to stay home to look after her mother , growing worried for her with each passing day .

•   a few days after karen stops to eat , gwen chooses to take her mother to the hospital , in the evening of may 4th 2002 , the canadian premiere of the first episode ( the first episode premiering in australia on may 10th ) . seeing her mother grow so much worse to the point she thinks she may die justifies her decision . karen is then institutionalized in the psychiatric wing , while gwen winds up in children's services' care that night . the sole thing she asks is to be close to her mother , which she'll get .

•   gwen is taken in by the rosens from children' services in the afternoon of may 5th 2002 , meeting harve and louise first , and her foster sister katie dawson once the latter comes home from school . harve and louise also enroll her in griffin secondary , the sister school to griffin primary , which katie attends . louise offers to take her there the following day , which gwen declines as she is allowed to new schools , stating earlier in the book that she had gone through five schools in five years .

•   gwen starts school on the morning of may 6th 2002 . other than history , we have little to no knowledge of her classes on that day . the rest of the events from the first episode unveil : indeed, during her first week at griffin secondary, gwen realises there's something fishy about ms. blatt, the socials teacher. one of her classmates , tasha myers , suspects that ms. blatt is a witch , working a spell to steal youth and beauty from her students . intuiting that gwen has a sensitivity to magic , tasha tries to enlist her to defeat the ever more youthful teacher — but meets with resistance and denial from gwen . gwen also meets tasha's brother josh , as well as the head of the style queens , reine davidson . gwen also has her first encounter with merlin , kickstarting the events of the series .

•   the final three episodes ( what guinevere knew / darkness falls / rebellion ) all take place during the same day , around october 18th 2002 at the earliest .   having used merlin's stone to save karen at that point , gwen attempts to return the crystal to merlin's time through faerie, but o'leary intervenes and gives the crystal to morgana .   in a turn of events that surprises even the man himself , o'leary helps gwen escape when morgana attacks the young girl . gwen and o'leary return to the 21st century to find that morgana has ruled as an immortal for 1500 years . the world, including all of gwen's friends as well as her foster family, suffer under morgana's tyranny — and gwen herself has been declared an outlaw for practicing magic, which in this reality is preserved for morgana alone .

[rainbowgod666]

(Loud pop)

A-

Lumine & Aether: (HAREM INTENSIFIES)

Childe: definetively bi. But would choose lumine if they could. AETHER MURDERHOBO ONII-CHAN CANON.

Venti: dont fucking ask how he tamed dvalin.

Ei/raiden shogun/raiden shotgun/baal/etc.: yae miko turned her gay lol 🥰

Yae Miko: CHAOTIC PANSEXUAL (kinda like my self-insert oc, but without the surprisingly high libido) (yeet)

Bennet: soft boi. Also probably in a (very gay honestly) relationship with razor. Yes its the tenderest sweetest thing ever and iT MELTS MY POOR HEART

Razor: he puts "wolf" while wagging his tail a lot looking at you like ⁰^⁰. Look at him hes SO CUTE. AND HES A STAND USER. LOOK AT HIMMM

Albedo: now that i think about it, they're probably aroace, and i mean in the "is not interested but not even against it. Hes too busy doing something else to be horny" way. Also they 100% have autism: Fear of destroying a country if they lose control? Isolationist but craves contact? Is basically W.D.Gaster?? DRAWING SKILLS??? Boi in italy you would have bonuses granted by Law 104 i tell you (yes that law is a massive meme here and i LOVE IT)

Kaeya: just really flamboyant. Ironic considering his Cryo element

Diluc: a mystery i tell you. Dude looks like he doesnt care. Heck does he even KNOW about gender identities??? Cause i know that he will respect pronouns and whatnot, since hes more worried about you paying

Zhongli: maybe gay???????questionmark? He just rambles way too long about the past (and that osmanthus wine thing was A ONE TIME THING and its still a meme) (leave his old arse alone fr)

Hu-Tao: trust me. Once shes done with you you will understand WHY she runs a funeral parlor. Girl is wacky i tell you

Scaramouche: aside from the VERY FUNNY HAHA "WE ARE NOT REFERENCING QUEEN IN ANY WAY SO NOW HES HYDRO LMAO" SITUATIOn hes in. I think hes the "im whatever gender makes you gay" thing. Which is funny because the INSTANT he isnt full topping he LOSES IT. Like dude wtf aether is still confused as to the noises you made that one time. What the fuck. Its somehow more bearable when youre insufferably smug cause THAT has meaning at least

Collei: amber

Amber: collei

Yes i ship them. Its yuri and its lovely.

Also collei straight up called inazuma cringe. Like holy shit girl you are too based

Fischl: okay "prinzesshit der götterfuckerung" can yOU PLEASE GET TO THE FUCKIGN POINT YOU WATERED-DOWN BETTER VERSION OF ASUKA EVANGELION?

Candace: CANDACE DI-

Thoma: straight and doesnt hate. If anything hes the matchmaker!

Yoimiya: too busy recreating the new years eve in naples every time something even REMOTELY worth celebrating happens. But honestly i dont think she would mind the gender (AKA: neither aro or ace, just really, really, REALLY fucking busy)

Ganyu: n ö p ü l l t ö d ä y . . .

SuSbedo: has definetively "fooled around" with the original. Which hey, now Albedo knows why people love his hair: they really are really soft and fluffy

Paimon: at least ONCE she fantasized about both aether and lumine. And when she figured out what people mean with "eating out"... apriti cielo as we say here in italy

Arlecchino: too ashamed from when I called them "undertale AU looking ass". IT WAS A COMPLIMENT DUDE YO ASS CRAWLED OUT FROM @jakei95'S XTALE AND YOU STARTED SLAYING CMON DUDE I DONT EVEN HAVE GENSHIN IM SO SORRY

Furina: has definetively fantasized about their personalities. Good lord girl get a life 😐🙏

Cloud Retainer: way too many people are attracted to her, she aro and probably ace because, well. She Literally Asks Wtf Is Wrong With You. STOP BARKING-

Baizhu: gay, but in a "orochimaru in boruto" way. On that note, they would be friends (baizhu didnt commit warcrimes but hey, snek fren :3)

Kazuha: trust me, he has been r i d i n g the canadian aether joke without the canadian and the joke lololol for a long time coming

Lyney: hes trying so hard to rizz the player up its unreeeeeal🤣🤣🤣 dude we get it you wanna fuck aether and SO DOES 90% OF THE FUCKING CAST

Lynnette: same, but shyer and for lumine. Also everyone really w a n t her

Beidou: has made girls realize they're gay WAY TOO MANY TIMES FR. She wouldnt mind a girl herself tho

Barbara: girl has Idol Problems. Like she doesnt get it at first and is like "THE FUCKIGN STATUE IS RIGHT THERE YOU (insert swearing) (on that note, get her away from alcohol holy shit how can such a cute thing repress so much ANGER and VIOLENCE)" but then she gets ir and is like "Ooooh... now i get it. Shit"

Rosaria: shes probably the reason why Girls In Nun-like Drip is a thing in r34. Fr girl 🙄

Tighnari: uh oh! Its the Internalized Homophobia~ (gay but will always deny it)

Chongyun: needs to control emotions or else he explodes

Xingqiu: the thing that makes chongyun explode (and hes way smaller than chongyun ifyouknowhatimean( ͡° ω ͡°))

KoKomi: so many KoK jokes like holy shit. Anyways if any girl were to have a schlong its her, beidou, or...

Ningguang: old wina aunt that just wants to lay down (on someone lol) (yeah she has loneliness problems)

Aloy: (gestures to the entirety of horizon zero dawn) do i even have to say anything?

Eula: wants vengeance

uhhh hcs for sucrose bennett and noelle?

ooh okay lets go

sucrose, lithosexual recipromantic demigirl (she/it)

bennett, aroflux homoflexible transmasc genderfluid (he/they)

noelle, pan lithoaroace cis (she/her)

wbu

[migilini]

Hiiii! I liked how you did the road trip one shot and was wondering if you could do a request for Charlie Gillespie where the reader and Charlie are dating but have been living in different states due to COVID and the boys do an Instagram live and the reader wants to be on the live with them and Charlie gets so excited and it’s fluffy?

So far apart - Charlie Gillespie

A/N: ofc i can! Thank you so much, hope you like it :) I will proofe read it tomorrow.

Words: 1.5k

Masterlist

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Tiredness was your new default state. College alone was stressful and hard enough plus it didn't help that you had to do it online from your little NY appartement that you shared with three other roommates. But you had too. You were in your last semester ever! That was motivation enough to pull through.

Currently you were trying to facetime your boyfriend Charlie. You haven't seen him in about four months but if someone would ask your roommates, they would say it felt like an eternity of you moaning and pouting about not seeing him. When COVID started, the two of you seriously debated about moving in together. However, at that time, your classes were not online yet and you couldn't move away, he also couldn't move to New York with you because he still had meetings with the JATP Cast.

You stared at your ringing phone, desperate to hear his voice. You knew that he should be awake, you had the time zones imprinted on your brain.

Sorry babe, have a meeting in 5… Will call you after okay? <3 the message that just popped up on your screen made you frown a little. You weren't mad, you just had a really awful week and missed him like crazy.

Sure thing <3 yout texted back and threw the phone onto your bed. Deciding that instead of waiting for him to call back, you could use the time usefully and start studying for your next test in two days. 

It was an hour later, you were completely engrossed in the textbook, so you barely heard the ringing of your phone. Maybe a bit too quick, you tossed all your books to the ground and launched yourself on the bed to find your phone. 

His pretty face filled your screen “Heyyy!” “Hello beautiful!” You two grinned at each other.

“How are--” A knocking on your door interrupted your question. “Yes?” The door opened and revealed one of your roommates Alexis with a sheepish look on her face “I’m really sorry to interrupt but Tara just broke off with her boyfriend and she needs a hug.”

You looked up at your red haired friend “She broke up with Tom?!” Alexis nodded “It's an emergency” she claimed. Charlie understood this as his clue to end the call saying a quick goodbye and a don't worry about it, when you shot him an apologetic look. 

This is how it went nearly every time. Something always came up, either you were studying non-stop and he didn't want to distract you or he had actor things and meetings going on. It was truly tiring. The last time you really had the opportunity to facetime was a couple weeks ago and even then you fell asleep inert 15minutes. When Charlie accidentally lulled you to sleep with a song he's been working on. 

Still the two of you made it work. Charlie had started writing you weekly letters with his perfume on it. And you being your crafty self, sent him a little care package with letters, some self made food and paintings, every now and then.

You just finished all your tests and essays for this semester and you felt free again. Taking a deep breath, you opened your bedroom window and put your school books away. Sinking down on your bed, you closed your eyes temporarily, enjoying the moment. You got up again to get yourself something to eat and a coffee. Your roommates were currently away, probably getting groceries or books at the College Library.

You mindlessly scrolled through Instagram, the sandwich you made yourself still laying next to you on the nightstand. Ever since Julie and the Phantoms released, the cast's accounts blew up like crazy and Charlie always showed you off like a queen so of course people found your page as well. You didn't mind though. Most of the people were really nice and respecting, protecting your relationship from all the not so nice guys

You just answered some DM’s, chuckling at a meme that Maddie had sent you, when you got a notification that Owen was live. Naturally you clicked on it, knowing that Charlie most likely will be in the live as well, due to the fact that he was currently at Owen’s with Jeremy.

You were one of the first ones. Owen grinned when he saw your name come up in the chat. 

“Guten Morgen everybody.” You chuckled when you heard your boyfriend singing in the background, writing in the chat that Owen should say hi to Charlie. “Are all of you streaming JATP?” he asked the live audience while you nodded to yourself, your laptop open beside you. It was a bit embarrassing to admit how often you saw the show, but every time you felt lonely you watched it. It had some really cute guys in it after all.

He read the chat “Do you like watching the show you participated in? Thats a good question. Charlie, Charlie! I have a question for you.” The camera turned and it showed the canadian boy you fell in love with. 

“Eh…” he said as he walked into the kitchen, Owen following close. “It was very weird at first. Guess I'm more used to it now.” he answered honestly. You weren't even listening, you just stared at your phone in trance, the light making him look so incredibly pretty.

Suddenly you got an invitation to join the live from Owen. You sat up a bit straighter and blinked a few times before accepting. 

“Helloooooo!” he screamed, making you laugh. “Hi Owen. Yall are up early.”

“Yeah… you know Char. That dumb early riser.” he complained. “Yeah I feel you. Though he lets me sleep so he must love me more than he loves you.” you teased making Owen pout in a childish way.

“Charlie! Who do you love more, me or y/n?” the statement made your boyfriend laugh and for a moment your breath hitched, it was music in your ears and once again you realised how much you missed it.

“I’m really sorry bud, but definitely y/n…I want to...” Charlie just wanted to explain why when he heard your chuckling from Owen’s phone. “See told ya.” It was truly a blessing that the camera was still turned to your boyfriend, making it easy for you to see his reaction. He nearly let the fork he was holding fall out of his hand, his eyes widening while his mouth grew into a big grin. “Is that y/n?” he asked cautiously. Apparently Owen nodded, because before you knew, the camera turned and you were face to face with your boyfriend. 

“Baby!” he screamed, a wide, toothy smile on his lips. “How dare you go on live with Owen but not with me!” he jokes. “How was the history test? As hard as you thought it would be?” you cut off his rambling “Hi! Nice to see you too. No, it was way harder than I expected. Let's hope for the best, I get the results sometime next week”

“I bet you killed that test baby! No, Owen you don't get the phone back… I don't care that it's your live.” The chat was freaking out over Charlie's happiness by just seeing you, talking about how they want love like that.

“Little explanation for everybody. Me and Charlie haven't really been able to facetime so were just really excited right now. Sorry if it's boring.” you explained to the chat. 

“Don’t ever say that ever again.” he said in a serious tone “it's not boring.” you held your hands up in surrender. “Sorry sorry. Can I talk to Owen again? I mean he is the one who invited me.” you teased, poking your tongue out. With a pout he gave the phone back to Owen.

“Are you also streaming the show today?” he asked you. Charlie was in the background, looking at you over Owens shoulder, making silly faces. “Of course! Who do you think I am? I’ve been watching it everyday since it came out.” Owens' face fell “You're kidding… that doesn't… that doesn't seem healthy.” you shrugged “Well i don't really care. I have this massive crush on someone from the show, just can't get enough of him.” 

The camera shook and a couple crunts later you were once again faced with Charlie. “I sure hope it's me or you're not allowed to wear that shirt anymore.” he pointed to the shirt you were currently wearing and that was in fact one of his.

“Not gonna tell you babe. My mouth is shut.” you winked, making him blush. “I miss you.” he blurted out with puppy eyes. “I miss you too. Can’t wait to see you.” he grinned at that excited for the surprise he had planned. 

“I think i'm gonna go, let you guys actually comment on the show. I love you Charlie.” You sent him a kiss and he pretended to catch it with his free hand.

“Eww that's so cheesy.” Owen muttered from somewhere in the back.

“I love you too.”

[1ddiscourseoftheday]

Sat 5 June ‘21

Harry did a little video (in that cute cardigan and hat hair from his outfit the day before yesterday- a whole ass work day all around) saying thank you for his win at the Junos (Canadian Music Awards), where Fine Line got Best International Album, and he liked a post by Dylan Jones (journalist, GQ) congratulating Gary Kemp (Spandau Ballet, uncle to Roman Kemp) on a new album. Gary Kemp’s new single features Queen’s Roger Taylor- and a video by Charlie Lightening, who has made an upcoming documentary with him as well about the making of the album. HUH, just like someone else we know hmm?

A spa in Redditch announced “the world’s first Harry Styles themed spa day”, with a heavy emphasis on watermelons to make it Harry themed. For a mere £72 you get to smell a Harry scented “Breathe Me In” candle with his face on it (only the first 15 people get to keep one though), eat a lunch with no olives or beets (“Harry apparently hates those”) and enjoy some not really all that themed facials and stuff with a non-stop Harry soundtrack throughout. They miss the opportunity to point out that Harry was born in Redditch, but advertise a line of Harry scented products with his face on them coming soon; is that legal? Guess we’ll find out! And Harry’s convicted stalker, Pablo Tarazaga-Orero, was charged with violating the terms of his sentence last year for posting about One Direction, but that charge was dropped yesterday. (blah blah joke about ‘if posting about 1D is a crime’, except this guy actually scared Harry and is mentally ill and the whole thing isn’t funny at all so… no.)

Louis posted simply a picture of the logo on his vintage England jersey (no not the one he was wearing yesterday, a different one), on the face of it just his way of cheering on the national team as the European Championship games gear up to begin but as it turns out also the lead in to a sponcon post, and as Soccer Aid geared up for a big announcement about this year’s lineup, they liked and commented on a tweet about when Louis (and Niall) played in 2016, getting people’s hopes way up; yes please! But whether or not that football fantasy comes to pass, Louis has invited us to play Fantasy Football with him (user Louist28), posting a link and code for his Euro FF league (‘England to Win the Euros’). Go Louis, cultivating the ‘grown men who run outside to see him’ demographic AND getting that coin! Also producer team SuperHi commented on their post about being in the studio with him last week- “Louis was amazing to work with-- a true gent and talent. And his fans are awesome”, I mean tell us something we don’t already know.

[thegreatgrumbolia]

Monarchism within the Canadian Context

God damn in the fuck man is it an absurd thing to witness. As I drove round town, listening to the radio I heard as the differing stations gave their reactions to the Queen’s recent death. Fuck me man, this is stupid. Now should ye be sitting outside the Canadian realms but its honestly hard to say that the Canadian is especially different from our neighbours the Americans. Of course this isn’t to say we are the same, there’s certainly a vibe of difference between the standard Anglo-Canadian, those residing anywhere from Ontario to British Columbia (Maritimes get their own Atlantic vibe), and of course within those there own vibes of separating difference. If one were to ask for an average between these you’d get the city of Winnipeg, the most Canadian City. This is all to say, in stupid terms, that Anglo-Canadians are just... well, they’re by and large calm Americans, with all connotations (negative and what little positive) included.

This is especially true in Alberta, where through frequent migrations many Americans have come to inhabit the area, with varying degrees of Canadianess arising from it. This Americaness I found to be perfectly encapsulated within the context of Canadian appearance was one Rock channel’s tribute to the now late Monarch, may she never find rest. A rockers voice cried out, like one similar to those Rock Station GreenTexts, saying (I only caught a lick of the dribble) QUEEN ELIZABETH, ENGLAND’S LONGEST RULING MONARCH is DEAD. Which is all to say, god, fuck if I know, Canada is a stupid place, all the absurdities of American culture calmed slightly yet with a monarchist flair. Fuck me man, then you got the guy on the talkative music station saying shit like “She was everyone’s Grandma you know?” with all the people calling in to tell the stories about “how they got to meet the queen” or “stand on the back of her train.” Of course the Suburban is the Monarchist, of course they find it quaint (Granted there’s stuff I enjoy about Monarchy, that is to say, near exclusively the roman numerals that come when names repeat, I eat that shit up. The difference with me however is this enjoyment results in a looking forward to the deaths of Monarchs cause fuck knows I wanna see how high those numerals can go), after all the Radio says so, “she was our grandma after all” rather than what she actually was, a parasites born of long dead conquerors and brutes their courtier sycophants (also known as the British Press) who now offer nothing yet platitudes of unity and an annual bill for their ‘services.’

Imagine now, me rubbing my temples as I type this, perhaps pausing to coalesce those thoughts for which I have been thinking. “Is there a punch line to this?” I ask myself. By all rights it seems there isn’t, all this having been just some strange glimpse into an oft derided nation and it’s most absurd ‘culture.’

Fuck me man, land back.

I’ll let y’all know what the local Irish think of this.

[gamer-logic]

Hetalia Platonic Ships Week Day 2: Coronvirus Chaos

When the virus hit, all the countries were forced to cancel the meeting and quarantine at their respective houses, and use zoom. Here are my headcanons of how the 1p and 2ps would fair!

Americans: With quarantine active, Alfred and Allen had to stay home which also meant the states stay too. Because this is our lovable all-American family, they go full-on zombie apocalypse mode with California and New York trying to panic buy all the toilet paper. Needless to say, they're not on grocery duty anymore. After this initial panic, things start out fine despite Alfred's meltdown about not getting to go to McDonald's anymore and Allen's subsequent victory lap because he won't have to be near the junk anymore. As their giant house is built on an estate because where else is big enough to put fifty kids and various farm and exotic animals including a large enough pool for Ameriwhale, and workshop with various vehicles Allen immediately takes control of the kitchen from Alfred and is dead set on making him eat better. He also gets the kids in on it and soon enough Alfred is hogtied to his chair, courtesy of Texas, and trying out every vegan dish Allen wants. The kids are wild and it doesn't take long for cabin fever to start kicking in though, but both Alfred and Allen are able to mitigate this by planning daily hikes and other outdoor activities. Oregon doing yoga much to the chagrin of a sailor mouthed New Jersey, Texas and Arizona teach everyone the ways of the wide-open range and many survival skills. Lastly, everyone has many movie marathons beginning with, of course, Marvel. Tony also joins them after coming out of his video game hibernation. One question why no one's one's thought to ask Tony about making a cure for the pandemic with his alien tech. Though that may be a good thing as who knows how that alien stuff would affect a human.

Americans: With quarantine active, Alfred and Allen had to stay home which also meant the states stay too. Because this is our lovable all-American family, they go full-on zombie apocalypse mode with California and New York trying to panic buy all the toilet paper. Needless to say, they're not on grocery duty anymore. After this initial panic, things start out fine despite Alfred's meltdown about not getting to go to McDonald's anymore and Allen's subsequent victory lap because he won't have to be near the junk anymore. As their giant house is built on an estate because where else is big enough to put fifty kids and various farm and exotic animals including a large enough pool for Ameriwhale, and workshop with various vehicles Allen immediately takes control of the kitchen from Alfred and is dead set on making him eat better. He also gets the kids in on it and soon enough Alfred is hogtied to his chair, courtesy of Texas, and trying out every vegan dish Allen wants. The kids are wild a and it doesn't take long for cabin fever to start kicking in though, but both Alfred and Allen are able to mitigate this by planning daily hikes and other outdoor activities. Oregon doing yoga much to the chagrin of a sailor mouthed New Jersey, Texas and Arizona teach everyone the ways of the wide-open range and many survival skills. Lastly, everyone has many movie marathons beginning with, of course, Marvel. Tony also joins them after coming out of his video game hibernation. One question why no one's one's thought to ask Tony about making a cure for the pandemic with his alien tech. Though that may be a good thing as who knows how that alien stuff would affect a human. Alfred likes to mess with the filters on the screen to tick off Authur but gets serious when it matters. Also, Tony hacks into the meeting from time to time to hear updates so he can better understand how to cure the virus and also troll everyone. Allen is running damage control to keep the kids from killing themselves and they'll often switch.

The Canadians: Similar to the Americans with how they're quarantined at home with the 13 provinces. They actually start panic buying too. However, instead of toilet paper, they buy up everyone's pancake ingredients and a bottle of maple syrup insight into every normal human's befuddlement. Hey, feeding 13 kids is hard! Unlike the states, the 13 last even shorter t thanks to Quebec who sees a prime opportunity to rebel once more. As for groceries, Quebec gets them for his punishment. Kuma and Kumajirou provide great comfort to animals when it starts getting tense and anxious due to cabin fever. Not only that, but they bring home the literal bacon with James when he goes hunting. Watching Kuma go pounding through the woods with Kuma on his back is a sight to behold and has since gained over 5 billion views on Utube. Everyone helps out in remedying this by creating a ginormous fort for them all to sleep in. This eventually includes Quebec when his punishment ends. Kuma likes sitting in Canada's lap during zoom meetings while James often struggles with keeping the provinces in check. Cue him doing an exact impression of the video with the woman sliding in like she's on ice to get the kids out while her husband is on video.

The Frenchmen: Francis, the drama queen that he is, freaks out about not being able to go out anymore and being forced to wear such ugly masks. Luiz could care less as this is exactly what he's been doing and just carries on until he hast to calm Franics' shrieking at how he'd been forced to home and not go shopping anymore. Francis ends up collaborating with Flavio in his new mask line to remedy the 'threat to fashion everywhere.' He also keeps up with his and Author's rivalry by mail, fondly reminding him of the previous years dealing with ink and a quill. Both Francis and Author have their own chatroom dubbed 'Britain and France's fighting chatroom," or more affectionately, "The 100 years chat."

The German Brothers: They all buy up the beer and Ludwig starts implementing extra training because 'you can't let a pandemic let you get soft! Now run like you're running from a human-sized germ!' Their house soon becomes a minefield with the prank war Lutz and Prussia initiate. Klaus loves the extra peace and quiet he's been getting now. Blackie, Astor, and Berlitz are happy their humans are home much more often now and are getting very spoiled. Ludwig takes control of the computer while on zoom because he knows what the others would do with they got it. Lutz and Gilbert keep making fart sounds and shuffling noises in the background, leaving Klaus to just sigh and a tomato face Ludwig to stammer on with the meeting.

The Italians: Flavio takes one look at the masks and immediately gets inspired for a new, pandemic edition, line of masks, and mask-related cloths including the two in one mask dress. Luciano let all his men go home with their only orders to be safe and stay healthy as he's not willing to relive the Black Plague. Lovino will never admit this, but he's kind of glad for the pandemic since it's given him the chance to spend time with his brother. Though this doesn't;t stop Spain from calling to check in 3 times a day. Feliciano tries to do all kinds of new things to keep everyone's spirits up and is also the guy who stole all the store's pasta, tomatoes, and sauce. Flavio makes all four of them show up fashionably late to the zoom conference despite it being online.

The Russians: Viktor keeps up with his work as much as possible and both he and Ivan have to hide their grins when their president has to quarantine. They don't really like him much. Ivan tries looking at pictures of sunflowers to keep himself occupied. He fears the loneliness quarantine brings, but Viktor tries to be around more so he doesn't get so lonely as he's also felt that pain before. He doesn't want Ivan to be like him who doesn't have friends nor the time for them. Out of the two, Viktor is the most serious about his work and is often seen using zoom for meetings.

The Japanese: Both are enjoying the introvert's paradise but are also worrying over the rising cases in their countries especially since they had to host the Olympics. They did so flawlessly but also struggled in keeping things as stable as possible. They both hold guilt for putting their citizens in such a dangerous situation. Both end up doing a video game/anime marathon with the rest of the Otaku club over zoom. Kuro sets to work refining his swordsmanship skills and actually starts forging new ones. He's a great weaponsmith! Kiku also takes the time to practice his calligraphy. They're the one's who'd have anime playing in the background or their cat, Japaneko, getting in the way.

And last but not least, the ones who started it all, the Chinese: Yao continually works around the clock trying to analyze the bad and how the pandemic got out of hand. Xiao ends up being the one who actually started this because he dared the guy to at the soup. He feels a lot of guilt over this and, in a rare showing of maturity from him, is also working by Yao to fix his mistake that not only risked his and everyone else's people but also killed so many. The pandemic will likely be one of their greatest shames. On a lighter note, Yao can't figure out how zoom works and Xiao likes programming troll hacks into the computer to mess with him.

[goron-king-darunia]

Anonymous asked:

Annon-Guy: In regards to the pancake skit from Asteria (which I hope you enjoyed.), excluding Tenebrea and Aqua, how do you think the 15 Symphonia characters prefer their pancakes 🥞? P.S. In Chapter 3 of Episode Extra in BBTAG, after Heart and Celica defeat Platinum and Mika in a battle over a chocolate spoon during the Stamp Rally (yes really), the former team appeased the latter team by making a bunch of pancakes which are more filling than a chocolate spoon. *~*~*~*~*

GKD Here! (IDK why it wouldn’t let me answer this ask normally, it’s usually only fussy with submissions!)

I did enjoy the pancake skit, but I do think using an owl as a stamp is unsanitary. XD As for the Symphonia Cast... Lloyd: He's a simple sort of guy so he probably likes regular old flapjacks. He's also more of a meat kind of person if I remember correctly, so he probably prefers his pancakes as a side to some bacon and eggs (Two of each for double the power? XD) Colette: She is a known fruit fiend so her pancakes are probably filled with blueberry and strawberry and banana and piled high with fruit salad as a topping. I'm not sure how big a condiment syrup is in Japan, now that I think about it. I know Fruit Sando is popular, that is, a soft sweet white bread sandwich filled with whipped cream and fruits. But I'm not sure if they eat these kinds of things with syrups. Maybe? Colette likes fruit so I assume she would have it with syrup and whipped cream, too, but maybe just the whipped cream? Genis: Crepe supremacism. Thin pancakes, strawberry and Nutella filling, powdered sugar and sweet cream. Probably also goes for an egg and cheese crepe as a snack. Raine: You know soufflé pancakes? Those, but severely failed and with lemon because Raine refuses not to experiment. Curdled scrambled egg in the middle, pockets of unincorporated baking powder and flour, and soggy, curdled eggy milky pieces of lemon on the bottom. I also guarantee she's accidentally poured soy sauce on them and insisted they were good and now she does it on purpose. Zelos: Soufflé pancakes but done correctly. Powdered sugar and butter on top, fruit salad (heavy on the melon) on the side. Sheenah: Savory crepes. Literally the breakfast wrap queen. Tons of egg, meat and veggies in a crepe which is then wrapped in a second crepe with a cheese or sauce. You know the anime trope of a character running late for school and they're jogging down the street with an egg on toast in their mouth? That's Sheena, but she's doing ninja stuff with a crepe-based breakfast wrap in her mouth. If she does sweet crepes, she has them made with cinnamon and nutmeg for a kick and a coffee-based syrup or sauce. Presea: Probably very basic. Standard flapjack, butter, syrup. Even if syrup isn't common, I bet Presea would like it. She's a lumberjack by trade. I bet she knows all about tree syrups. Regal: Crepes, savory, ham, egg, and cheese filling, red-eye gravy dipping sauce. Kratos: Blueberry pancakes (standard flapjack), butter, powdered sugar, black coffee for dunking and drinking. Mithos: Soufflé pancakes, butter, sweetened whipped cream, powdered sugar, strawberries. Emil: You know this kid is doing the Denny's Grand Slam. But, you know, better quality than Denny's because it's home made and Emil is a master. 2 Buttermilk pancakes (standard flapjack) two sausage links, two pieces of bacon, and two eggs. Catch this kid doing Canadian style bacon when he can get his hands on some. Marta: Buttermilk pancakes (standard flapjack), fresh blueberry and strawberry topping, whipped cream, scrambled egg with cheese as a side. Richter: Breakfast tea, Standard Flapjack, butter, syrup, ham with redeye gravy, mushroom omelet, grilled asparagus. But this bitch can't cook so I guarantee you he's never eaten this before especially because I doubt a diner would make this and not have it be portioned with calories for 4 people since if they even made all those dishes, they'd all be full entrees or full sides and not part of one spread. This guy's getting whatever the inn will serve which is probably the standard flapjack and bacon and eggs if he's lucky. Breakfast tea for sure though. Richter might not be able to cook but I guarantee he can heat water and add leaf. Decus: Soufflé pancakes, cinnamon sugar, butter, black coffee. Alice: Ham and cheese crepe, coffee with cream, no sugar. If she goes for a sweet crepe, it's strawberry and dark chocolate. And I know you said excluding the Centurions, but how about I do anyway? Tenebrae: Galaxy crepe with Dark Chocolate filling. (Not to eat, he just wants to appreciate the color.) Aqua: Pancake Mural of Richter. Yes to eat. She doesn't need to eat but damn it she's not getting Richter to touch her any other way so... Aster: Would trade his pancakes for a good donut but will bite your head off if you touch his pancakes in the absence of a donut to trade. Flapjacks, butter, boysenberry syrup. Yes boysenberry syrup. I guarantee this would have frustrated Richter to no end because it's not a common syrup and Aster's a diva and demands it. P.S. That distraction tactic won't work on me because I'd just want BOTH a chocolate spoon AND pancakes. Though I do agree pancakes are more filling.