#also that I didn’t pass out and I collected myself after for the driving lesson I had in a hour; deep breathing cold shower eat something

[catboyelimgarak]

So where do I get my “I survived my first collapse and didn’t hit my head” badge? I deserve extra points for the chair I grabbed not being heavy and being able to push it off my body when I finally got my sight and some strength back to stand, push the AC on high, and wobble to my bed :D

[goldentournesol]

Not in That Way

*gif not mine, found on Giphy*

(Spencer Reid x fem!Reader)

The one where Spencer’s TA falls in love with him.

Length: 3.3k

A/N: VAGUE SPOILERS FOR S15 AHEAD! AGE GAP (10 years). Read at your own risk everybody, very angsty. NO PART TWO’S WILL BE WRITTEN. enjoy :)

masterlist

It wasn’t hard, really. It wasn’t hard at all to fall in love with Spencer Reid. In fact, it was the easiest thing she’d ever done. It came so easily that it shook her to the core.

Really, what’s not to love? He is a badass FBI agent with a heart of gold, he can literally recite almost any book to her on demand, and it certainly doesn’t hurt that he looks like he’s been sculpted by a coveted artist.

She didn’t know though, she didn’t know how easy it would be to be completely enamored by someone. She didn’t know what kind of life she’d be stepping into when she’d applied to become his Teaching Assistant. She’d heard from her peers that there was a part-time professor who had been looking for a TA. She signed up without a second thought, desperate for any kind of connections that could possibly help her with her PhD in forensic psychology. When she’d learned that he was a certified genius whose other job was to be a real life superhero, she hoped and prayed he’d pick her application.

She was over the moon when she found out that he did indeed pick her out of all the students who had applied. This was an opportunity of a lifetime. She’d seen his university ID photo on the website and thought he was attractive, but seeing him in person was almost magical. The camera definitely could not quite pick up on the subtle gold flecks in his irises or the silky sheen of his hair. And that smile. She was sure she could drown in it forever.

After being chosen and going through a number of interviews, Y/N learned just how meticulous Dr. Reid was in everything he did. She helped him create the syllabus as well as build his lesson plans. Over the semester, she would go over his grading since he had the tendency to give students the answers instead of making helpful comments on the papers to make them think and reflect. She’d also learned about his particular aversion to technology, which meant they had multiple meet-ups when he was in town just so she can walk him through certain systems, like the university’s portal system as well as the email. She also showed him how to pose his answers as questions instead, explaining that sometimes, he shouldn’t answer their incomplete thoughts because it's an undergrad class. Also, with his unpredictable schedule concerning the FBI, she would often step in and teach his class whenever he was away on a case.

They’d become good friends outside of his office and classroom, probably closer than they should have been. He was just too likeable and she was always eager enough to hear what he had to say, thus a bond between them was born and reinforced each time they saw each other. He was so thoughtful, it shocked her. Once he’d heard her mention that she used to love collecting keychains when she was a child, and made sure to get her a new one from each state he’d visit thanks to his trips around the country. Her previous boyfriends were beyond disappointing in comparison to say the least, and they weren’t even dating. He knew her favorite coffee order by heart and often had it ready with a fresh croissant whenever they met at the university’s coffee shop and if they were meeting at his office, he’d take them to go. 

It was little things like that that made her fall in love with him. And she knew, it’s not like she didn’t, she just chose to hide it with every cell of her being. Crushing on your professor is pretty common amongst university students, but being a TA and being desperately in love with your professor was a whole different kind of story. 

She already admired his intelligence in class immensely, however hearing his stories from his time out in the field made her heart grow three times the size of normal. His stories ranged from being about geographical profiling, to action-packed anecdotes, and even funny moments with the team.

Was she constantly impressed by him? Yes.

Was she constantly worried about him? Also yes.

Which is why she’d practically made him adopt the habit of texting or calling her every time he landed in DC. They’d been chasing this unsub, Lynch, for months on end and he’d informed her that they were finally close to getting him. The last time they talked two days ago, he was feeling confident. But then it was just silence. He hadn’t texted her, he hadn’t called her. She didn’t even know if he was back in DC. Her mind took her places she didn’t want to go. He’d gotten so good with keeping her updated that this silence was turning her blood into ice water.

She’d left 11 missed calls so far. But she didn’t give up, she was determined to hear from him. The next morning she tried again, holding her breath and squeezing her eyes shut in a silent prayer.

“Hello?” Someone finally picked up, a woman.

“Hello? Who is this? I’m trying to reach Spencer Reid.” Y/N said into the phone, voice clearly on the edge of tears.

“Oh you must be Y/N Y/L/N. You’re Spencer’s TA. I’m Penelope Garcia, I work with Spencer.” She said into the phone evenly, calmly.

“Yes, I am. Did something happen to Spencer? He hasn’t contacted me in two days. Why do you have his phone?” Y/N worried into the phone. She could hear every heartbeat, loud and clear.

“Spencer is in the hospital. There was an explosion yesterday and he hit his head really hard. We found him passed out in his apartment this morning.” Penelope answered. Y/N’s eyes widened and she felt the tears slip from her eyes quickly. The panic began to set in.

“C-could you please text me the address?” Y/N managed to whisper into the phone through her tears.

“Of course, sweetie. He’s going to be okay. His mother is here, I’m assuming you know about Diana?” She asked tenderly.

“Yes, yes, I know. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” Y/N said, already rushing to put on shoes and looking for her keys.

The drive to the hospital wasn’t long, but Y/N felt like it took ages to get there anyway. Her breathing was uneven and her eyes were already swollen as if she’d been crying for days. There was a bad, bad feeling reverberating around in her chest. She’d somehow floated through the hospital like she was running on autopilot. 

She’d found the room and met eyes with a blonde woman adorning two identical blue puffs in her hair. She would have thought they were adorable if she wasn’t panicking her heart out. She spotted Spencer laying on the hospital bed with oxygen tubes hanging around his ears and inserted into his nose. The sight made her stomach lurch. Something about the way his usually pink lips were drained of their color made her want to sob until tomorrow came. Beside the bed on the other side sat Diana Reid, a tall woman with short blonde hair. She’d seen her in photos before. Diana merely stared at her with a hint of a smile.

She stepped in the hospital room, swallowing down the bile in her throat, “H-Hi, I’m Y/N.” She waved tentatively into the room, almost unable to keep with the tensity of the two women’s gazes. She wiped at her eyes and stood at the foot of Spencer’s bed, “Is he going to be okay?” She asked, staring at the steady rise and fall of Spencer’s chest. That way it was reassuring to watch him. She could hear her heartbeat in her ears as she stood.

“The doctors are hopeful.” Penelope replied, assessing the young woman who just entered. She was much younger than she previously thought she was. Although she had no idea what to expect when it came to Spencer’s academic life, he was always surprising her.

Diana sat still and silent in the hospital chair, a pensive expression draped across her features. Penelope sensed a tension in the room and looked towards Diana, “Hey, Diana, would you like to come with me down to the cafeteria to fetch some jello for Spencer to eat when he wakes up?”

Y/N sent Penelope a sidelong glance filled with gratitude. She tuned out the sounds of Diana telling Penelope the story of the first time Spencer had jello as they exited the small room. She immediately pulled up the chair closest to his bed and grasped his hand tightly. She let out a shaky breath at the contact. Cold, his hand was so, so cold.

“Oh, Spencer, you scared the shit out of me.” She whispered, pressing her lips to the back of his hand quickly, “I could have lost you today...and-and I wouldn’t have known what to do with myself if that would have happened. I know you probably can’t hear me, but I still have to say what I’m going to say. I have to. For myself. So here goes,” she pauses, taking a deep breath, “there’s nothing that scares me more than losing you, and that thought alone terrifies me.” She sniffled, wiping away her tears, “What I feel for you terrifies me, Spencer. I didn’t know I was capable of loving someone so deeply until I met you. And...I don’t know what to do with all this love, I want to hand it all to you, let you see yourself the way I see you, but I can’t do that. I can’t.” She held back an incoming sob, whispering, “I can’t ask that of you.” 

She bowed her head and rested it along his forearm, her silent tears soaking through the hospital sheets. The fear of grieving for him outweighed the fear of rejection. She’d never forgive herself if he died without knowing how big of a space he occupied in her heart. She didn’t know if she was brave enough to tell him to his face while he was awake, but this was a start. Solidifying her feelings was a start. And man, were they solid.

A few minutes later, her phone began to ring because of an endless stream of emails. There was a class today, and she’d have to teach it. She went back and forth from her phone to Spencer’s face and released a deep, heavy sigh from the pit of her chest. She stood from her seat and hovered her hand over his cheek before allowing it to rest timidly on his skin.

“I have to go, but I’ll see you soon.” She paused, chewing on her lip, “I love you.” She said softly, fresh tears making their way back to the brim of her eyes. She pulled away from him and exited the room swiftly. 

Spencer’s bleary eyes opened slightly to just barely catch the sight of her disappearing into the hallway from which she came. Seconds later, Penelope and his mother came marching in, seeing his open eyes.

Penelope set down the cups of jello nearby and Diana made her way to her son quickly. He could barely keep his eyes open for long enough. It was a small achievement but they both held onto it dearly. 

Hours later, he blinked his eyes open again as he heard his mother and Penelope conversing about his favorite type of cloud. Diana leaned over her son’s bed and set a comforting hand on his shoulder. He stared at her fondly.

“Am I alive or is this heaven?” He asked, smiling slightly.

“You are very much alive.” Diana smiled broadly at him.

Garcia had since gone back to the office to assist the team in finally closing the Lynch case. Spencer was just waking up from yet another snooze. 

Diana looked at him closely, sometimes he felt she was the profiler in the room, “She told you didn’t she?”

Spencer rubbed at his eyes slightly, “Who are you talking about?” He yawned.

“The pretty girl who was in here earlier.” Y/N’s name had slipped her mind the second she said it. Spencer stared at his mother incredulously, shocked at just how clear her mind was at the moment. Diana took his silence as an affirmative and nodded at him.

“You should tell her.” She said definitively. For a moment, he doubted if he understood just what she meant, but he understood.

“How did you know?” Spencer asked curiously.

“I told you, a mother always knows. And I saw the way she looked at you. She deserves to know, Spencer.” Diana said.

She deserves to know.

The thought tumbled around in his head for days after he was discharged from the hospital. He was on medical leave for the moment but as soon as he could see straight, he took the train to her apartment. He’d been there a few times, they’d had a few casual dinners there while grading papers together or coming up with future lesson plans. His hands were on the verge of trembling as he knocked on her apartment door. The numbers nailed on the door mocked him as he stood waiting for her to open.

She frowned at the sound, she wasn’t expecting anybody. She pushed her laptop to the side and stood to straighten her pajamas, making her way to the door. She ripped it open as soon as she saw who it was.

“Spencer! Oh thank goodness you’re okay! I’ve been worried sick about you.” She threw her arms around his middle tightly, making him stagger a bit from the impact, but he enveloped her in his arms anyway. The contact was very welcome.

“Hey.” He smiled into the hug, his heart spilling with gratitude over being worthy enough of her attention. They separated from the embrace and she stared at him with a look resembling wonder.

“What are you doing here? I thought you still had a few more days off until you had to get back to work. Come in, come in.” She moved aside to let him in. She also moved a plethora of blankets and textbooks off the couch to make space for him to sit.

“I know, I’m sorry for kind of coming over unannounced. I didn’t mean to intrude or anything.” He eyed her matching set of cartoon character pajamas as he took a seat, making a mental note that it was the most adorable thing he’s ever seen. She blushed under his gaze but shook her head nonetheless.

“Oh come on, you know you’re always welcome here. Can I get you something to drink? Some water or coffee, maybe?” She asked.

“Water’s fine.” He smiled, leaning back into the couch. She nodded and made her way into the kitchen. Spencer’s shoulders untensed for a moment and he hadn’t realized that he’d been carrying so much of his worries in them around her. She came back with the water and took a seat next to him, angling her body to face him. He muttered a thank you as he sipped from it, unsure how to approach the situation.

“I wanted to thank you. For coming to the hospital to see me. That meant a lot.” He met her eyes and saw a flash of panic dance across her irises. How did he know she was there? Penelope probably told him, right? He couldn’t have heard her.

“Of course, Spencer. It’s the least I could do.” She smiled sweetly. His heart cleaved in his chest as he stared at the sweet girl in front of him. 

What did he ever do to deserve her friendship? 

He fidgeted with the glass in his hands, a silence beginning to drape over them.

“Is everything okay?” She asked, noticing his fidgeting. 

He took a deep breath and set the glass down on the coffee table in front of them. He turned his body to face her and reached for her soft hands. Her breath hitched at the intimate contact, butterflies erupting in the pit of her abdomen.

“You are a remarkable person, Y/N. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. I see the absolute worst that humanity has to offer on a daily basis, but you have made it your mission to make my life easier. And you do, honestly, I wouldn’t know what to do without you.” He said with soft eyes and a half-laugh. She smiled back, she could practically feel the rush from his words directly in her brain.

“And it is an honor to be loved by you,” his voice hesitated to say the word, his eyes darkening with regret as he continued. Realization snapped into place for her as he said, “but I can’t give you what you need.”

He had heard her. He knew.

Her blood ran cold as she tore her hands away from his, as if the skin on his hands had the ability to burn her. He frowned as he watched her frantic eyes search his for any semblance of dishonesty. Her throat closed up over all the words that fought to surface. She opened her mouth to say something but nothing came up. Instead, tears sprung to the corners of her eyes.

“What?” She whispered, brokenhearted and momentarily in disbelief.

“I’m sorry, Y/N.” He tried to console her but she was past the point of consolation. 

“I-I understand.” She nodded painfully, tears cascading down her face before she even got the chance to wipe them away, “It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have said anything, it’s completely unprofessional.” She swallowed an incoming sob as best as she could.

“No, I’m glad you told me, but if I’m being honest, I knew long before it. This isn’t about professionality, I don’t care about that. But I care about you, a lot.” Spencer said softly, staring at the young woman in front of him. She shook her head, utterly devastated and doing her best to shield herself from his gaze. Thoughts escaped her as her heart took a deep-dive to settle in her abdomen.

“And I thought I should let you know how I feel. I love you, Y/N,” he paused, “just not in that way.” The soft voice he used was completely useless against the harshness of the words. 

She tried, she tried her absolute hardest to suppress the incoming sob, but those words just about broke the dam. She rubbed at her eyes, nodding. He tried to set a comforting hand on her shoulder but decided against it. She took a deep breath and stood up from the couch. 

That was enough humiliation for the day.

“No, no, I completely understand.” She said, voice wobbly and eyes ringed with red. He frowned up at her at the sight of her being so upset. 

“Will you be okay?” He asked as he stood up from his seat. She laughed slightly, this man had devastated her, broken her heart with a few simple words and still wondered if she’d be okay. That’s Spencer Reid for you. The question made her heart ache and long for him more. His simplicity and good intentions made her question why the world wasn’t kind enough to let her have him.

“No, I won’t. And I probably won’t be okay for a long time. Because I will keep meeting men and keep comparing them to you so, until I stop doing that, no, I won’t be okay, Spencer.” She answered with a surprisingly stable voice. He frowned and nodded.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, stepping forward to cup her cheek and gently use his thumb to wipe the remainder of her tears. Her glassy eyes bored right into his, her lips wobbling at the contact. She then closed her eyes and leaned her cheek into his palm, soaking in his warmth one last time before he tore himself away from her completely and showed himself out of the apartment without looking back.

That was when she allowed herself to fall apart. He heard her heart wrenching cries from behind the door and hesitated, but decided to walk away anyway with a chest heavy with regret.

She will never be enough for him, she thought.

He will never be enough for her, he thought.

[havethetimeofyourstyles]

in which harry doesn’t like halloween until a certain pair of trick or treaters knock on his door.

a/n: HAPPY HARRYWEEN EVERYONE! personally don’t like halloween myself, but I hope everyone has a spooky and fun day (indoors, ofc)! here’s my first halloween piece that was meant to be a blurb, but turned out a little longer than expected, enjoy!

thank you to ira @stylesloveclub​ & cait @sweetcreatureinthedark​ for reading this over! <3

enjoy 5k words of teacher/dad!harry being cute

warnings: brief mention of death, mostly fluff

LETS TALK ABOUT PEBBLES & THE SCARECROW IN MY INBOX! pls let me know your thoughts!

pls rb to share! <3

Harry wasn’t fond of Halloween, if he’s being honest. 

The thought of people putting on scary masks, scaring little kids out of their driveway is something that was so unsettling to him. The scary movies that always release around the month of October that promoted their commercials, causing him to startle on the couch because of the jump scare was not something he looked forward to every year. Especially when those said movies would have their ad on the radio, which makes it even scarier because he could only listen. He would usually have his Bluetooth on with his own music playing, but when it’s only a five minute drive, he doesn’t bother with the Bluetooth. Either way, he doesn’t like it. 

Halloween is not fun, he would say every year. 

However, the upside to the month of October was something he looked forward to because that’s when the weather really changed. September would be sunny and hot still, but then comes around October and the sun would peek behind the clouds as the weather got colder. The leaves would fall from their branches and onto the ground, loving the sound of the crunchy leaves beneath his feet, especially building a pile and jumping into them. Not alone, of course, but with his baby girl who loved to just squeal and laugh at her dad whenever he would jump into the pile of orange leaves that he collected on their front lawn. 

Wynn, his daughter, also loved the change of fall weather just as much as he did. Harry would hype it up so much because October was the start of holiday season, and he loved being in a festive mood. So, naturally, Wynn picked up on his behavior and was just like her dad; jumping up and down when he would get excited. 

Another thing that he liked about Halloween was that he got to pass out candy to the fellow trick or treaters to all the students in the school during their Halloween bash, and to the kids in his friendly neighborhood. Every year, he would buy plenty of candy for the students—sometimes buying too much because he didn’t want anyone to be left out when they would walk up to him. But if he did have extra, he would save them for later that night for the kids in the neighborhood. 

He loved seeing the students’ reactions when he would tell them that they had a cool costume. He especially loved it when the kids would compliment his own costume. Some teachers didn’t really like to dress up on Halloween as they only wore a headband of some sorts or a festive t-shirt, but Harry liked to go all out. He’s been teaching for six years, and every year, he made sure to join in on the fun. One of his favorite costumes was when he dressed up as Peter Pan and Wynn was Tinker Bell. They always coordinated costumes, and Harry hoped that once she gets older, she would never stop wanting to match with him, but he knows that’s inevitable; he’ll just hold onto these moments for now. That was one of his favorites because Wynn just loved her costume so much that she didn’t want to take it off, so seeing her so happy in her princess dress just made his heart burst. 

But this year, he thinks he’s topped the previous years. 

As he said goodbye to Wynn, dropping her off at her class, he greeted her first grade teacher. 

“Oh! Don’t you both look absolutely adorable!” Mrs. Robin, an old lady who had been teaching for years and retiring this school year, said. 

“Thank you, Mrs. Robin. Think this year is my favorite,” Harry said, looking down at Wynn as she nodded her small head at him. Harry was dressed as Fred Flinstone and Wynn was Pebbles. He thought she was the absolute cutest, and he even did her hair the same way in the morning, but instead of a bone, he replaced it with a white bow. 

“You two always have the loveliest costumes!” Harry looked down at Wynn, raising his eyebrows at her to say thank you, and she looked at her teaching, thanking her. 

“Anyways, I gotta go get my class from their line. I’ll see you later at the bash,” he told Mrs. Robin. He bent down, meeting Wynn’s eye level. “Be good, okay?” His daughter nodded. “I’ll see you later. Make sure you say hi to me,” he reminded her. “Love you, bunches.” 

“Love you, tons,” the little girl replied, and he gave her forehead a kiss before she wrapped his arms around his shoulders, giving him a hug. They’ve always been inseparable, and Harry had separation anxiety whenever they part even if it’s just a little bit. And as much as he loves how much his daughter loves him, he hoped that she doesn’t suffer from it as well—although, he thinks it’s starting to begin. He couldn’t help it—he was an affectionate person and always loved to give her hugs and kisses, to which she would give them back. 

Harry quickly walked to his classroom, putting his belongings and the bags of candy down before walking out to pick up his class. Harry taught the third grade, and they were a smart bunch. He loved how it was in between sweet and cuteness, but also watching them grow. He thinks fourth and fifth grade was when they started to become too sassy and dramatic, so he liked being in between. 

“Hi, everyone! Happy Halloween!” He greeted, and his class cheered, some of his students telling him that he looked so cool, and Harry said thank you to them as he complimented them back. “Everyone follows me in a straight line. Don’t stop walking, don’t stray, don’t turn around, and please be sure to keep all hands and feet inside of the vehicle, got it?” They all nodded. “Alright, enjoy the ride, here we go!” He started walking as he smiled. He came up with that line when he was in his second year of teaching as he wanted his class to have fun while going into the classroom, so he acted like it was a rollercoaster, and the kids seemed to love it. 

When they got inside the classroom, the kids took their seats at their desk. Harry told them that they had to do a quick lesson before the Halloween bash, earning a groan throughout the classroom. 

“I know, I know. But it’ll be quick! And then we’ll all have fun after. Unless you all would prefer I teach the lesson after the bash and after lunch?” He asked, knowing what the answer would be. Usually on Halloween, they would have a lesson, the bash, lunch, and Harry would put on a movie as he passed out treats to fill in the rest of the day before the school day ended. Their heads shook as Harry chuckled. “I figured,” he said before he started the quick lesson on reading. 

The lesson only lasted thirty minutes, just in time to head out to the bash. All the classrooms were filing out to the courts, which was the larger area of the school that could fit all eighteen classrooms. The classrooms form a single line all around the three basketball courts, and each class would walk around in a single file line with their bags in hand as the teachers would pass out candy. Music would play and some of the staff would dress into one of those big floaty costumes to jump around in and entertain the other classes who were patiently waiting. The parents were allowed to join as well if they had the time to see their kids in cute costumes; the more the merrier. 

Harry’s class stood in their designated spot, having them line up, and he walked around to check if anyone got left behind, which no one did. The music started and classroom number one was instructed to do their lap, which were the kindergarten classes. Harry was classroom number eleven, so he got his big bowl of candy ready as the first class started to walk around. He saw some really fun costumes; one student was the sun and their friend was the moon, which he thought was so adorable. Once the class before the next was halfways, the next class was instructed to go. 

It went by fairly smoothly, although he could tell that some students were bored, which was understandable. Harry waited for Wynn’s class, in which she was in classroom number six, the last one of the first grade class. He spotted her in her bright green polka dot shirt and tortoise pants—she looked so adorable. He got his phone out when her class was close enough, taking a video of her at the same time as passing out candy. 

“Hi, Daddy!” She greeted, reaching up to hug him. 

“Oh, you’re the cutest. Hi, bubba,” he said as he hugged her back. The embrace was so sweet that he didn’t want to let go, and he didn’t until Wynn said something. 

“Uh, daddy, I gotta go now.” He snapped out of it, and saw that her class was onto the next two classes. He let go of her before kissing her cheek, saying see you later. 

The rest of the Halloween day went by smoothly. It was quite cold out, so the teachers were allowed to have the students eat inside if they wanted to. 

By the end of the day, he picked Wynn up from the front before he made sure his entire class was picked up safely. 

“Did you have fun?” Harry asked Wynn once he saw her. 

“Yeah! Look at all the candy!” She showed him her bag full of sweets. 

“Wow! Alright, let’s get home and sort through the ones you want and don’t want. Gonna have to pick fifteen,” he told her and she pouted. He hated that pout, even though it was adorable, it was a dangerous pout that had Harry almost give in, but he had to be the strong parent. “Sorry, pretty. Thems the rules. Last year I gave you ten, so I bumped it up by five.” 

“Alright…” she trailed off, and Harry chuckled. 

Before they left, he quickly caught Mrs. Robin before she walked away. “Oh, by the way, Mrs. Robin. Do you mind taking a picture of us? Realized I forgot to take one this morning.” 

“Of course, dear! Harry unlocked his phone and opened the camera up before handing it to her. She pointed the camera towards them as she snapped a few pictures of them. They were smiling brightly at the camera before Harry picked Lynn up, so they were the same height. “Here you are. Have a lovely Halloween, you two.” Mrs. Robin bid them goodbye as they both waved. Harry looked at the pictures, seeing that they were blurry and some of them had her finger in the lens. Harry brushed it off, chuckling to himself as he’ll figure out how you two will get a picture later. 

They headed to the car and on their way home to continue the fun with by getting and passing out more candy. 

The cold 5 p.m evening was relaxing and quiet as there weren’t many trick or treaters out just yet, only the little ones that needed to get their candy early in order to be back before bedtime. 

And that’s what you were doing with your three year old. You asked Penelope if she wanted to go and get candy, and just the sound of candy coming out from mommy’s mouth was music to her tiny ears, so she nodded her head. 

“Go now?” She asked, and you looked at the time as it was almost five in the evening. 

“Yeah! We can’t stay long because it’s gonna be cold and I don’t want you to get sick,” you told her. 

“No, I don’t want sick,” Penelope shook her head no. 

“Yeah, me either. I’ll bring a jacket just in case, don’t worry,” you reassured her, and she smiled. 

The jacket didn’t take long to put on. Once you felt the breeze rush through you, blowing away some of the leaves from the ground as Penelope was stomping on them, you immediately put her burnt orange teddy bear coat on over her scarecrow brown dress. You left the hood off since she was wearing a pointy black hat with a sunflower attached to it, which kept falling off everytime she jumped a little too much, might you add. So, you kept having to pick it up and put it back on her. 

You two had visited five houses so far, all houses being so lovely to Penelope as they complimented how adorable she was. Now, you were walking towards the next house when you suggested you go across the street since some of the other houses had signs already prepared saying ‘no candy!’

Penelope usually went with the flow, so she agreed as you two walked across the street and decided to just complete the entire block before walking back home before it got too cold and too late. 

“Go on, baby,” you encouraged her to knock on the black door. She ended up slapping the door with her open palm because she said knocking was hurting her hand. You waited at the bottom of the stairs for the owner of the house to open the door, and Penelope waited thirty seconds before she turned around with a pout on her face. “Don’t think they’re home yet. Lets go to the next one!” You said enthusiastically, hoping to lift her frown. She walked down the brick stairs as you reached out for her hand to hold. 

As you made it down the walkway and onto the sidewalk, you heard the door open frantically, making you turn around from the sudden noise and from a man calling out for you. 

“Wait, wait! I have candy!” The man ran down the walkway in a Fred Flinstone costume with a bucket of candy. You chuckled a bit because never did you imagine Fred himself was chasing after you. He was a very attractive man and he pulled the Flinstone costume quite well. “Sorry, I, uh, was just getting changed into my costume. I’m sorry it took so long. I didn’t realize people would be out trick or treating so early,” he said breathlessly from his rushed actions. 

You giggled. “Well, this one has to before she makes it for bedtime,” you referred to the little one who was jumping on the leaves. Harry looked down as his eyes beamed. 

“Well, look at you! Aren't you the cutest scarecrow!” Penelope looked up once she heard her costume. She smiled at the unknown man, but all she knew was that he had a bowl of candy that she would like to get her hands on. “I got lots of options here. You could choose one or two if you’d like.” Harry bent down to Penelope’s height, holding out the candy bowl to her. He had full fixed candy bars and candy packs, and you thought that must’ve been expensive. 

Penelope picked the candies she knew, which were a Hershey’s Cookies n’ Creme bar and a Twix bar. You raised them up to you, beaming proudly as you lowered her candy basket for her to put it in. 

“What do you say, baby?” 

She turned to Harry again. “Tank you!” 

“You’re welcome!” Harry responded. “Oh, uh, I’m Harry, by the way.” He shook your hand, introducing himself. He smiled, dimples popping out and you felt yourself blush. 

“I’m Y/N,” you smiled. 

“And who might this be?” He bent down again at Penelope. 

“I’m Pennie!” Your daughter introduced herself, and you smiled proudly. 

“It’s lovely to meet you both. You look amazing, Pennie! Although, your mummy doesn’t have a costume on,” he teased, looking at you as he smirked, making your heart flutter. 

“Well, mommy stayed up all night putting together and sewing her costume together, so I didn’t have time to make one for myself,” you explained. You were quite proud of Pennie’s costume. It was a brown dress with long sleeves that had different fall colored squares, but it was all one piece, so Pennie didn’t have to wear something underneath besides her leggings. 

“Wow, you made this? This looks amazing!” Harry complimented, and you humbly said thank your 

“So, uh, since your Fred Flinstone, is the rest of your family dressed up too?” You asked curiously. 

“Oh, no. Just my daughter,” he chuckled, “which by the way, you need to see her costume, one second.” Harry quickly walked into the house, calling out for his daughter. You and Pennie waited on the sidewalk. After a few seconds, Harry came out with his daughter holding his hand as you thought they were the cutest pair. 

“You two are just adorable!” You squealed as you looked at them fondly. 

“Hi, I’m Wynette, but I go by Wynn,” the six year old girl smiled as she introduced herself. 

“Hi, Wynn. I’m Y/N, and this is…Pennie, please stand up.” You found your daughter laying in the pile of leaves. Harry and Wynn laughed fondly. “Sorry about that.” You got Pennie to stand up, brushing her dress off from the dirt and mud. 

“It’s okay! Wynn and I love to jump and lay in the leaves all the time,” Harry said. “Oh! Actually, do you mind doing me a favor? I know we just met, but…” 

“Yeah, of course!” You accepted. 

“Do you mind getting a picture of us? We tried getting on earlier, but it was all blurry,” Harry chuckled, taking out his phone and opening up the camera. 

“Yeah, I got you.” You grabbed his phone as Harry and Wynn both smiled and posed. You lowered down the brightness a tad bit, and took multiple pics of them from different angles, even kicking some of the leaves to their feet to add to the fall effect. After you took plenty, you handed his phone back. “Let me know if you’d like me to take more.” 

“Wow, these are perfect!” Harry exclaimed as he looked at them. “Are you a photographer?” 

“Oh, no. I just really liked taking pictures when I was younger, so I always knew how to take good pictures on an iPhone,” you chuckled, making Harry laugh. Harry proceeded to joke that you should definitely be a photographer but only using a phone, and you teased back saying that you’ll think about it. 

Meanwhile as you two were talking, you two didn’t realize Pennie and Wynn playing in the leaves. Wynn was throwing a handful in the air as the leaves rained down onto the two of them. You smiled fondly at the two, and looked at Harry who was snapping some pictures. 

After a few moments, you called Pennie. “Alright, c’mon, baby. Let’s finish all these houses,” you reached out for her hand, but she pouted, shaking her head no. “Pennie…” 

“No, no! I don’t wanna leave!” Her eyes started tearing up as she frowned. 

“Don’t you want to get more candy?” You asked softly. She didn’t respond, rather turn towards Wynn and look at her with a pout. 

“Oh, uh, I think she wants Wynn to go with her,” Harry chimed in. “Think she got attached too easily within those ten minutes.” You let out a chuckle, knowing that he was right. 

“I’m sorry. Uh, she probably won’t leave your front lawn, but you totally don’t have to come with us, but-” 

“Nonsense! We’d love to go! Right, Wynn?” Wynn nodded her head happily as she continued playing with Pennie. “We usually trick or treat later in the evening, but we’d love to go with you now. I’ll just leave the candy out at the front.” 

“But wouldn’t the kids just take them all?” 

“Hey, that’s fine by me. As long as it’s going somewhere,” Harry shrugged. “Just give me one second to get the rest of the candy, and then we could go.” Harry walked back inside of the house. Wynn stayed with Pennie as you two watched them. You noticed Pennie wasn’t crying anymore, but she was giggling with tear stained cheeks as the older girl twirled her around. 

Two minutes later, Harry walked out of his house and locked the door before putting the candy bowl down onto the steps with a sign that said ‘take one, please!’ but he knew that no one was going to follow the sign’s instruction. After that, he turned towards you, smiling. “Shall we go?” You nodded your head as Harry gave Wynn her candy basket. 

The four of you walked on the leaf covered sidewalk; Wynn and Pennie were walking together in the front as you and Harry walked together behind them. 

“So, what do you do for a living?” You started the conversation. 

“I’m a third grade teacher. Have been for six years. What about you?” 

“I run a small business, selling jewelry and clothing. That’s all I do right now, and it’s gotten pretty big, so it’s taken care of a lot,” you smiled humbly. 

“Wow, that’s amazing. I could definitely see the talent through Pennie’s costume. I’d have to check it out sometime to support.” You smiled at that, giving him the name of your shop. 

The two of you continue walking, waiting for your children as they got candy, and getting to know one another. 

“Do you live around here?” He asked. “I mean, not in a creepy way,” he chuckled nervously. 

You giggled. “Yeah, I live about a block away. We usually walk on the opposite side, but decided to come on this side.” 

“Well, I’m glad you decided to come over here,” he said innocently, but it could be taken as flirtatious. 

“Me too,” you smiled softly. He smiled back as he thought you were the most beautiful person he’s ever seen that’s not related to him. You had soft eyes that looked at him with care, and a smile that he thought was the most gorgeous; you even had dimples on corners of mouth when you would smile, and he just thought that was the cutest thing. 

Obviously, he didn’t know that you were thinking the same thing as him. You felt somewhat intimidated by the tall, attractive, and kind man beside you. And you think his daughter is the cutest. They don’t really look alike, but she probably got her mom’s looks. Speaking of her mother… 

“So, the rest of your family didn’t want to come out with you two?” You asked curiously, still waiting for the answer if he was married or taken or not. 

“No, it’s actually just Wynn and I…” you hummed, smiling to yourself. “You’re probably wondering where Wynn’s mum is, huh?” He teased, noticing your flusteredness. 

“Oh, uh-” you stumbled. 

“It’s okay. I’m wondering if you’re taken too,” he said honestly. 

You chuckled nervously. “I’m not. Haven’t been since Penelope was born, actually.” 

“Do you mind me asking what happened?” 

“Only if you tell me what happened with Wynn’s mom,” you teased. “I mean, only if you want to.” Harry nodded, softly smiling. 

“Pennie’s dad and I got married three years before she was born. Spare the details, but we got a divorce after she was born because I found out that he had another family…and he chose them over us,” you explained. 

“Oh, wow, I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It’s alright. I’m over it, and it was for the better because I didn’t want Pennie hearing us fight all the time and me yelling and asking where he’s been,” you breathed out a laugh. It seemed like the memory was just yesterday, but it’s been three years. 

“That must’ve been hard. Are you happier?” 

“Oh, yeah. Definitely. That’s when I launched my business because I couldn’t stay at home and do nothing, so I started to design.” 

“That’s amazing!” Harry smiled. 

“So, that’s my spooky story for today,” you chuckled, “what’s yours?”  

“Wel, uh…” 

“Don’t feel obligated to tell me because I told you my story,” you reassured, and he nodded. 

“Yeah, I know. But I want to tell you. Have a feeling we’re gonna be around each other a lot more often.” He pointed his eyes at the two girls walking in front of you. You smiled at the two holding hands. “But anyways, Wynn’s mother passed away when she was about two months old.” 

You softly gasped. “Oh, I’m so sorry, Harry.” 

“As well as her father too.” Your eyes widened as you suddenly stopped walking for a moment. You looked at him skeptically, studying him for a moment. Harry furrowed his brows once you touched his stomach. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Are you a ghost?” You asked seriously. His words caught you off guard that you actually thought you were imagining Harry the whole time. 

“What? No, I’m not,” he laughed. He totally understood why you thought that. 

“Okay, good. Thought I was tripping. I mean it is Halloween. Anyways, you were saying?” You gave him your full attention as you two started walking again. 

“Wynn’s actual parents passed during an accident. They were on their way back from a little date night. Her father, Alex, was my best friend, and I’m her godfather. So, after they passed, I was her guardian. But when they asked me to be her godfather, they told me the responsibilities and that if anything happened to them, to change Wynn’s last name to my own because they didn’t want her to live on with her life wondering who her real family was. So, I did as they told me. I changed it. And I’ve raised her her whole life, and she’s mine, y’know?” Harry told you, and you listened and nodded. 

“Does Wynn know?” 

“Yeah, she does. I told her last year because she wondered why she didn’t look like me, and I knew that I couldn’t just lie and hide it from her. She’s a smart girl, so I knew she would understand. She cried for a little bit—had an identity crisis and felt like she couldn’t call me dad anymore, but I told her that if she wanted to or not then I would be okay with it. Thankfully, she still does.” Harry looked at his feet as he walked, kicking the leaves around. 

“You’re a great dad, Harry. I’ve known you for about thirty minutes, but I just know you are. Wynn is the sweetest, and you’re doing amazing. But thank you for telling me all that. Know I’m a bit of a stranger,” you slightly laughed. 

“Just a tad bit, but I trust you—I feel it.” You smiled at him, nudging him as you walked, to which you earned one back. 

You all walked back to Harry’s house, and by the time you got there, Pennie was reaching up towards you, telling you to pick her up. She must’ve been tired from all the walking and jumping with her new mate, so she was getting sleepy. 

“I could drive you back, if you’d like?” Harry offered. 

“No, it’s okay! Not that far of a walk. Thank you for joining us, though! Pennie and myself really appreciated it and we had fun,” you smiled. 

“We did as well. We’ll see you around?” Harry said, and you nodded, waving goodbye. 

Harry watched as you two walked away, and he really did have a great time. He felt refreshed and relieved after talking to you, and he doesn’t remember the last time he’s had a decent conversation with someone without turning it into more that same day. 

Hopefully he will see you around. 

November 1st was your favorite. You started feeling the festive mood as it was getting closer and closer to the holidays. 

You and Pennie were out for a walk, and you offered to bring the stroller, but she shook her head, wanting to freely walk in the leaves. Taking the similar route as the night prior, you were hoping to see Harry. You were really infatuated with him, and you thought you two would be great friends, and maybe even more. 

Suddenly, Pennie let go of your hand and started running towards the familiar house from last night. She tan quite fast for a toddler, and you would have to ask her if she wanted to join track when she was older. 

“Penelope, get back here!” You chased after her, but it was too late when she slapped the door. You caught up to her and carried her. “Baby, please don’t run away from me like that again.” She said a soft ‘I’m sorry’ as you carried her off the walkway.

The door opened, revealing the familiar man. “Y/N? Pennie?” 

“I’m sorry! We were going for a walk and she ran away from me and ran here,” you said breathlessly, walking towards the front door again. 

Harry chuckled. “You wanna see Wynnie again, Pen?” Pennie’s eyes brightened at the sound of her friend’s name as she nodded. “Come on in!” 

“A-Are you sure?” You asked hesitantly. 

“Absolutely! We’re just cooking breakfast right now.” 

You two walked in slowly as Harry followed behind. You out Pennie down as she stayed close to you. When Harry shut the door, Pennie tugged on his pant leg. 

“Yes, sweetheart?” He bent down, giving his attention. 

“Can I have another candy?” She asked shyly, and Harry smiled. 

“Penelope…” you said. 

“What? H-He gives the full size candy bars!” You and Harry laughed loudly. 

“We have extra, but only if mummy lets you.” Pennie looked up at you with a pouty face, and of course, you gave in. 

“Alright, alright. But you’re only eating it after dinner, and you only get three pieces,” you chuckled. The little girl started jumping up and down happily. Harry looked at the two of you and smiled fondly, loving the dynamic between you two. 

Maybe he did like Halloween after all. 

happy halloween! come into my inbox and let’s talk <3

[satansjit]

Reflections on the Color of My Skin

By Neil DeGrasse Tyson

Wednesday, June 3, 2020

My colleague had other encounters with the law that he shared later that night, but his first story started a chain reaction among us. One by one we each recalled multiple incidents of being stopped by the police. None of the accounts were particularly violent or life-threatening, although it was easy to extrapolate to highly publicized cases that were. One of my colleagues had been stopped for driving too slowly. He was admiring the local flora as he drove through a New England town in the autumn. Another had been stopped because he was speeding, but only by five miles per hour. He was questioned and then released without getting a ticket. Still another colleague had been stopped and questioned for jogging down the street late at night.

As for me, I had a dozen different encounters to draw from. There was the time I was stopped late at night at an underpass on an empty road in New Jersey for having changed lanes without signaling. The officer told me to get out of my car and questioned me for ten minutes around back with the headlights of his squad car brightly illuminating my face. Is this your car? Yes. Who is the woman in the passenger seat? My wife. Where are you coming from? My parent’s house. Where are you going? Home. What do you do for a living? I am an astrophysicist at Princeton University. What’s in your trunk? A spare tire, and a lot of other greasy junk. He went on to say that the “real reason” why he stopped me was because my car’s license plates were much newer and shinier than the 17-year-old Ford that I was driving. The officer was just making sure that neither the car nor the plates were stolen.

Among my other stories, I had been stopped by campus police while transporting my home supply of physics textbooks into my newly assigned office in graduate school. They had stopped me at the entrance to the physics building where they asked accusatory questions about what I was doing. It was 11:30 p.m. Open-topped boxes of graduate math and physics textbooks filled the trunk. And I was transporting them into the building, which left me wondering how often that scenario shows up in police training videos.

We went on for two more hours. But before we retired for the night we searched for common denominators among the stories. We had all driven different cars—some were old, others were new, some were undistinguished, others were high performance imports. Some police stops were in the daytime, others were at night. Taken one-by-one, each encounter with the law could be explained as an isolated incident where, in modern times, we all must forfeit some freedoms to ensure a safer society for us all. Taken collectively, however, you would think the cops had a vendetta against physicists because that was the only profile we all had in common. In this parade of automotive stop-and-frisks, one thing was for sure, the stories were not singular, novel moments playfully recounted. They were common, recurring episodes. How could this assembly of highly educated scientists, each in possession of the PhD—the highest academic degree in the land—be so vulnerable to police inquiry in their lives? Maybe the police cued on something else. Maybe it was the color of our skin. The conference I had been attending was the 23rd meeting of the National Society of Black Physicists. We were guilty not of DWI (Driving While Intoxicated), but of other violations none of us knew were on the books: DWB (Driving While Black), WWB (Walking While Black), and of course, JBB (Just Being Black).

None of us were beaten senseless. None of us were shot. But what does it take for a police encounter to turn lethal? On average, police in America kill more than 100 unarmed black people per year. Who never made it to our circle? I suspect our multi-hour conversation would be rare among most groups of law-abiding people.

As I compose this, about 10,000 chanting protestors are filing past my window in Manhattan. And because of the intermittent looting and related violence, the curfew for this evening has been pushed earlier, to 8 p.m., from 11 p.m. in the preceding days. The most common placard was “Black Lives Matter.” Many others simply displayed the name George Floyd, who was handcuffed face-down on the street with a police officer’s knee on the back of his neck, applied with a force of at least half the officer’s body weight, resulting in his death. Curious irony that NFL star Colin Kaepernick offered a simple demonstration of care and concern for the fate of black people in the custody of police officers, by taking a knee during the Star Spangled Banner before football games. (One media outlet mangled the moment by describing him as protesting the national anthem.) The outrage against his silent act of concern for a national problem persisted through the 2017 season when, as a free agent, he went unsigned by any team to continue his livelihood.

So, we went from a peaceful knee to the ground to a fatal knee to the neck.

The way peaceful protesters and the press are being shoved, maced, tear-gassed, pepper-sprayed, and tackled in the streets of our cities (when the police should have focused on arresting the looters) you would think the protestors were doing something illegal or un-American. But, of course, the U.S. Constitution has something to say about it:

Congress shall make no law … abridging the freedom … of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.

Which amendment was that? The First Amendment. So, the founders of this nation felt quite strongly about it, empowering one to declare that protesting for redress of grievances is one of the most American things you can do. If you are the police, pause and reflect how great is the country whose Constitution endorses peaceful protests.

What do we actually expect from our police officers? To protect the peace and arrest the bad guys, I presume. But also, to be armed with lethal force that they can use when necessary. That part clearly requires training on how and when to use (and not use) the power of your weapons. The rigorous Minneapolis Police Academy training lasts 4 months. The slightly more rigorous NYC Police Academy lasts 6 months.

Yet to become a certified pastry chef at a prestigious culinary academy requires 8 months. The perfect croissant demands it. So maybe, just maybe, police recruits could benefit from a bit more training before becoming officers.

In 1991, Rodney King (age 25) was struck dozens of times, while on the ground, by four LAPD officers, with their batons, after being tased. The grainy 1990s video of that went media-viral, inducing shock and dismay to any viewer.

But I wasn’t shocked at all.

Based on what I already knew of the world, my first thought was, “We finally got one of those on tape.” Followed by, “Maybe justice will be served this time.” Yes, that’s precisely my first thought. Why? Since childhood my parents instilled in me and my siblings, via monthly, sometimes weekly lessons, rules of conduct to avoid getting shot by the police. “Make sure that when you get stopped, the officer can always see both of your hands.” “No sudden movements.” “Don’t reach into your pockets for anything without announcing this in advance.” “When you move at all, tell the officer what you are about to do.” At the time, I am a budding scientist in middle school, just trying to learn all I can about the universe. I hardly ever think about the color of my skin—it never comes up when contemplating the universe. Yet when I exit my front door, I’m a crime suspect. Add to this the recently coined “White Caller Crime,” where scared white people call the police because they think an innocent black person is doing something non-innocent, and it’s a marvel that any of us achieve at all.

The rate of abuse? Between one and five skin-color-instigated incidents per week, for every week of my life. White people must have known explicitly if not implicitly of this struggle. Why else would the infamous phrase, “I’m free, white, and 21” even exist? Here is a compilation of that line used in films across the decades. Yes, it’s offensive. But in America, it’s also truthful. Today’s often-denied “white privilege” accusation was, back then, openly declared.

The deadly LA riots associated with the Rodney King incident are often remembered as a response to the beating. But no. Los Angeles was quiet for 13 months afterward. Everyone had confidence, as did I, that the video was just the kind of evidence needed to finally bring about a conviction in the abuse of power. But that’s not what came to pass. The riots were a response to the acquittal of the four officers in the incident, and not to the incident itself. And what is a riot if not the last act of helpless desperation.

The 1989 film by Spike Lee “Do the Right Thing,” which explored 1980s black-white-police tensions in Brooklyn, New York, ends with a dedication to the families of six people. Eleanor Bumpers (age 66), Michael Griffith (age 23), Arthur Miller (age 30), Edmund Perry (age 17), Yvonne Smallwood (age 28), and Michael Stewart (age 25). All are black. One was killed by a white mob. The rest were unarmed and shot by police or otherwise died while in police custody. All deaths occurred within the 10 years preceding film, and all occurred in New York City. None of the police-induced deaths resulted in convictions, as continues to be true for 99% of all police killings.

We know of these events because they each ended in death. But even so, back then, it was just local news. Was this just NYC’s problem? I asked myself. But for every police-related death anywhere, how many unarmed victims are shot by police and don’t die, or are wrongfully maimed or injured? Most of those cases didn’t even make the local news. But if you lived there, you knew. We all knew. For what it’s worth, NYC now has the lowest police-caused death rate per capita among the sixty largest cities in the US. Is it that extra two months training in the Police Academy?

The corrosion and ultimate erosion of our confidence in the legal system in cases such as these, even in the face of video evidence, has spawned a tsunami of protests. With sympathetic demonstrations across the United States and around the world. If the threat of prison time for this behavior does not exist—acting as a possible deterrent—then the behavior must somehow stop on its own.

Some studies show that the risk of death for an unarmed person at the hands of the police is approximately the same no matter the demographics of who gets arrested. Okay. But if your demographic gets stopped ten times more than others, then your demographic will die at ten times the rate. I suppose we first have to get the bias factor down to zero, but then there’s still the matter of police killing unarmed suspects, white people included.

I talk a lot. But I don’t talk much about any of this, or the events along this path-of-most-resistance that have shaped me. Why? Because throughout my life I’ve used these occasions as launch-points to succeed even more. Yes, I parlayed the persistent rejections of society, which today might be called micro-aggressions, into reservoirs of energy to achieve. I learned that from my father, himself active in the Civil Rights Movement during the 1950s and 1960s.

In a way, I am who I am precisely because countless people, by their actions or inactions, said I could never be what I am. But what if you don’t have this deep supply of fuel? What becomes of you? Who from historically disenfranchised communities, including women, LGBTQ+, and anybody of color, are missing—falling shy of their full potential because they ran out of energy and gave up trying.

Are things better today than yesterday? Yes. But one measure of this truth is a bit perverse. Decades ago, unarmed black people getting beaten or killed by the police barely merited the local news. But now it’s national news—even breaking news—no matter where in the country it occurs.

So how to change all this? Organizations have surely assembled demands for police departments. Here, I offer a list of my own, for policy experts to consider:

Extend police academies to include months of cultural awareness and sensitivity training that also includes how not to use lethal force.

Police officers should all be tested for any implicit bias they carry, with established thresholds of acceptance and rejection from the police academy. We all carry bias. But most of us do not hold the breathing lives of others in our hands when influenced by it.

During protests, protect property and lives. If you attack nonviolent protesters you are being un-American. And you wouldn’t need curfews if police arrested looters and not protesters.

If fellow officers are behaving in a way that is clearly unethical or excessively violent, and you witness this, please stop them. Someone will get that on video, and it will give the rest of us confidence that you can police yourselves. In these cases, our trust in you matters more to a civil society than how much you stick up for each other.

And here’s a radical idea for the Minneapolis Police Department—why not give George Floyd the kind of full-dress funeral you give each other for dying in the line of duty? And vow that such a death will never happen again.

Lastly, when you see black kids, think of what they can be rather than what you think they are.

Respectfully Submitted

Neil deGrasse Tyson — trying hard to Keep Looking Up.

Copyright © 2018 Neil deGrasse Tyson

[thevelvetseries]

Voice In My Head (Part 1)

Summary : This is the story about Ashley Ackles and how her life turned upside down.

Pairing : Jensen Ackles x Daughter Reader / Danneel Ackles x Daughter Reader

Warnings : Fluff, Angst, Eating Disorder, Self Inflicting Cuts, Self Hate, Attempted Suicide, Minor Drug Use.

Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist

It’s hard to know where to begin telling you about this. I wonder if there’s any such thing as beginnings.

3 MONTHS AGO...

At this point in Ashley’s life everything had been normal. She was an A+ Grade student with a bright future ahead of her. She had her loving family surrounded around her and had good health. She had her 5 best friends Veronica, Selena, Bram (Abraham), Taylor and Matt (my boyfriend). She had been friends with Veronica and Selena since they were in kindergarten, she then met Bram in middle school then Taylor and Matt in High School and they six of them because the best of friends. They do everything together. They travel to school together every morning, go to the mall every Friday after school and talk about what friends usually talk about.

This is where our story starts. Ashley, Veronica and Selena were walking down the school hallway from just having gym class and was going to meet the boys for lunch. Once they get to the cafeteria they wait in line to get their food before going to find Matt, Taylor and Bram sitting at there normal table. I sit next to Matt and give him a quick kiss before starting my lunch. We were all eating and taking about the party that was happening on Saturday at Justin’s house. Justin is one of the school popular football players and always had parties whenever his parents went out of town for a weekend. Who knew this was going to be the downfall in Ashley’s life, the moment that changed her life forever.

“So who’s driving who Saturday?” Matt says while drinking some of his water.

“I don’t mind driving, it’s not like I’m gonna drink anyway.” I say while biting into my chicken salad sandwich.

“That makes sense too, you have 7 seats in your car.” Veronica said with a little laugh.

We spent the rest of lunch just talking and eating before finishing the rest of the day and heading home. Since tomorrow was the party we decided to skip the mall this week. Me and Matt went to my house today to do homework and watch TV. I pull my car into the driveway. Mums car wasn’t there meaning she was picking my younger siblings up from school and dad was away at work filming, he was coming home for the weekend though. We get out of the car and head inside get some snacks and head up to my bedroom. We were sitting on my bed with our work spread around us.

“Ok. What did you get for number 16?” Matt asked while fiddling with his pencil.

“Wait. There’s no number 16” I say while going through my papers.

“Hmmmm hmmmm” Matt started humming, in the cute annoying way he always does.

“STOP!” I say while pushing him a little.

“I’m just making sure your awake.” He said with a little smile forming on his lips.

“I’m awake, there’s just something about studying in a bed.” I reply. Since when we normally study together were on the floor with pillows.

“Well I guess I shouldn’t be complaining right. I’m in bed with a smoking hot, intelligent girl.” Matt started off saying before I interrupted him saying “women” which he corrects himself “women”. Then I continue saying “and your on the bed, not in it.” I say with a little smile.

“And I’m worried about math” Matt said.

We continued working for a little more, during that time mum had come home from picking up my younger siblings from school, and we had started working on the the subject we needed to get through, when I remembered something. I got off the bed Matt watching the walk across the room and going into my closet coming out with a black piece of fabric. I chucked them at him.

“You left your boxers here Monday”. I say with a smile.

“Oh no. I left them on purpose. You know to remind you of the wonderful night we had.” He said before grabbing my waist and kissing up my neck, which is when I begin to start giggling. Suddenly there was a knock on my bedroom door.

“Come in” I spoke loudly trying to stop giggling.

“Hello.” Mum said when she entered. “How’s the studying going” she asked.

“It’s going well. Nearly done” I reply,

“Good. Matt you joining us for dinner tonight?” She asked.

“No. Not tonight mum is making her famous spaghetti tonight.” He replied.

“Ok, also remember you father will be home tonight. So we are having his favourite” he should be home around 7.” Mum said before leaving the room.

Matt ends up leaving around 6pm to head home. I packed up all my work and put it away before heading downstairs for the night to spend time with my family. We were all in the living room when we heard the front door open and close. Dad was home. He had just finished filming season 14 of his show and was finally on hiatus. While dad was putting his luggage on the floor we all got up and welcomed him home before having dinner.

“So how was everyone’s day” dad asked. That’s when Zepp, Arrow and JJ start telling three different stories at once.

“Wow wow wow. Slooow down. One at a time. One at a time.” He interrupted. The one by one the all went through what happened to them. While this was happening I continued to eat my food, mums food is always delicious. Especially her spaghetti.

“Ashley, what about you?” Dad asked before taking another mouthful of his dinner.

“Not much really. Went to my lessons. Had gym. Had lunch, we didn’t go to the mall this week since there’s a party tomorrow night and then Matt came over after school so we could study together.” I said.

“What party?” He replied.

“Some guy called Justin. Don’t worry I won’t be drinking, I’m driving us all there and then home. So all I’m drinking is soda.”

“Well that’s ok. Just make sure you get home at a reasonable hour please. I don’t want to be up all night worrying because you’re not home.” Dad said while taking a forkful of his food.

“I promise I’ll be home before midnight.” I replied.

“That’s all I ask.” He replied.

For the rest of the night we spend together as a family. We all relaxed in the living room watching movies and snacking on popcorn and different snacks. It was nice. We don’t get to do this often since dad is away at work for too many months during the year. We all started to go to bed around 11pm, before I went to sleep I got my outfit ready for the party tomorrow night and went off to sleep.

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

I could hear the beeping of my alarm like it was in a tunnel getting louder and louder. Slowly I started to wake up, I reached out my arm and turned off my alarm and started to get out of bed. I put on my slippers and my dressing gown on and headed into the bathroom and started getting ready for the day ahead. Around 8am I was finished and made my way downstairs. While walking down the hallway of her house she could smell the sizzling delicious smell of bacon cooking coming from the kitchen. When the kitchen comes into view she see her dad and mum standing in the kitchen cooking breakfast together. I make my way over to the kitchen table and start to pour myself a glass of orange juice that was already on the table.

“Morning sweetie.” Mum said when she saw me walking across the room.

“Morning.” I say before drinking half of my glass.

“How did you sleep last night?” Mum asked

“I had a good night sleep.” I replied.

We went along with our morning. Around 8pm I was all ready for the party and texted everyone I was ready and was about to leave to pick everybody up. I made my way downstairs and picked up my car keys from the bowl and walked into the living room.

“I’m about to leave. I’ll try and get home before midnight ok. I’ll text you when we leave the party so you don’t have to worry ok.” I say from the doorway to my dad.

“That’s ok sweetie. We’re not going anywhere tonight so we’ll be home.” He replied.

I got in my car, I collected everyone from their houses and made it to Justin’s house. I parked my car on his street and we all made our way inside.

“Um.. 11:45 at the car.” I say so we all agree on a time to head home.

“Now let’s have some fun.” Matt said while he came closer to me to give me a kiss under my ear, which caused me to giggle.

We all spent our night dancing around the backyard drinking. I only have 1 drink and stayed drinking cola and water for the rest of the night. The party was in full swing and everyone was drinking and dancing and were having a good time. It currently 11:45pm when we got in the car and left the party.

We all got in the car still laughing and having fun from the night that had just happened. I drove for about 10 minutes to Veronica house where I was dropping her off and Selena since she was staying over at her house next was Bram, then it was just Tyler, Matt and me. I was currently sitting at a red light singing along to the radio and just being our normal selves. After about 2 minutes light changed to green and I slowly started to move. When I reached the middle of the intersection of the road, out of the corner of my eye I could suddenly see bright white lights coming straight to us and hitting the car from the passenger side. The place were Matt was sitting. At first I didn’t know what to do. Blood was coming down my head from where I hit it on my door window. Matt wasn’t moving or talking and sight was getting shorter and shorter. The last thing I remember before I passed out was that I could see flashing lights and hear sirens.

Voices In My Head Taglist

@scatchia @spngirl05 @myopiamystical @dracosassismine @maia-skye @vicmc624 @blqcklust @cassiwalkinatural @ray-l-00@superspackles @mamanoota5 @bea789 @pooks06 @m1s10@youngnickeleggseagle @overthinkingsoulcat @kettnerjanea@vildemc @izzy0731 @blogaboutmylife2 @101stshippersquad@spnfamily-j2 @hgs2018 @desiredposion @weightlessdevil@alliedimlerr @lifeofanerd164 @hettolini @spneditsdestiel@smoothdogsgirl @weirdoforeves @lovingbrock @dannyo000@supergirl000983 @jensenandjaredsgirl0516 @sarsmilesah@thisshallbegrand @thehalediaries @generallyclumsy​ @hoboal87​ @snowangle1994

[cordonian-literature]

The Aftermath - Ch. 33

The Anointing Ceremony

Summary: Gabriel is anointed as the heir

Word Count: ~4.1k 

A/N: this is it! the next chapter is the last one :)

Warnings: none

*All characters belong to Pixelberry, except those that are unique to my story (I’ve also used some characters and fictional instances from Donna Tartt’s book, “The Goldfinch”)*

Tags: @captain-kingliamsqueen @gkittylove99 @lovablegranny @iam-the-kind-and-thoughtful @mom2000aggie @kingliam2019 @queenrileyrose @shanzay44 @cordonianroyalty @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @twinkle-320 @amandablink @texaskitten30 @pens-girl-87 @ladyangel70 @sanchita012 @cordonianprincess @cordonia-gothqueen @queenwalton @yourmajesty09 @alj4890​ @choicesbutterfly​ 

I don’t know if the tags are working or not, but I hope I got everyone down! If you would like to be added or removed, let me know :) 

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

- Gabriel -

Ella and I were trying to see how many grapes we could fit into our mouths when Dad stands up from the picnic blanket. I don’t pay attention to him, but when Mom laughs, I turned to look at them to see Dad on one knee holding a ring box out to her. 

Ella’s hands fly to her mouth as she tries to eat quickly while I continue stuffing my face (I was on eight grapes). Mom and Dad laugh, then Dad slides the ring on her finger and they share a kiss.

“I thought you said you planned on proposing in the hedge maze?” Mom asks through a giggle. 

“I had to improvise,” Dad says. “I wanted to make it official so we could let the world know as soon as possible.” 

Ella swallows her grapes and goes to join the hug. I start rapidly chewing and wrap my arms around them, doing my best not to cough. After we finish everything in the picnic basket, Dad carries Ella over his shoulders and we walk back to the estate. 

Inside, Duke Bertrand runs up to us and wishes Mom and Dad congratulations. I wonder how he already knows that they’re engaged.

“Your Majesty, if I may,” Bertrand says, “I am absolutely elated at the news! I saw you as I was passing by the window in my office and well...” He pauses and clears his throat, letting his smile falter. “I would kindly advise that an announcement be sent out immediately seeing that the Anointing Ceremony is tomorrow-” 

Dad cuts in and through a large smile says, “Yes, Duke Bertrand, that would be appropriate.” 

“Wonderful! I’ll make it my top priority!” 

As Duke Bertrand walks off, Duchess Olivia catches Mom and Dad before we can go any further. She says she has something important to tell them, and the adults walk off together.

Ella and I make our way up to our rooms. My sister skips happily. 

“How do you feel about Mom and Dad being engaged?” I ask her, wanting to know what she thought. 

Ella shrugs and continues walking. “I guess it’s okay. Is it gonna be different than how it’s already been?” 

“Well, yeah,” I tell her. “We’ll be living together with Dad, have to go places with him. And with Mom.” 

“But we’ve already been doing that,” she states.

I take a moment to think about her words, and I can’t really prove her wrong. “I guess you’re right.”

The Beaumont estate is quiet since all the guests from the party had left the night before. Hunter and Heather had said goodbye to us this morning, and Uncle Leo had said that we would see them again tomorrow.

When we’re in our rooms, Ella says she wants to practice more dances with Countess Hana. We go around the estate looking for her, but don’t see her anywhere. We bump into Duchess Savannah, who tells us she’s left for the evening but will be at the ceremony tomorrow. The mention of the ceremony causes a wave of dread to flow through my chest.

The Duchess adds that Lord Maxwell and Aunt Rowan have left for dinner and that Bartie’s taking a lesson. Having nothing to do, we turn again towards the direction of our rooms. 

Before we get there, we see Duchess Olivia walking away. Figuring she must have just been where Mom and Dad were, we go in the direction that she came from.

Inside a room, We see Mom crying. Dad holds her to his chest. They haven’t seen us yet, so Ella and I keep quiet. 

Mom mumbles some things to Dad, but neither of us can hear it. There’s a deep frown on Ella’s face, and before I can stop her, she says, “Mama?” and walks up to her. 

Mom sits up, quickly wiping the tears from her face. She doesn’t say anything to Ella, but instead holds out her arms and collects Ella into her lap. 

I walk into the room and take a seat next to Dad. He puts an arm around my shoulder. Silent tears run down Mom’s face. I want to ask her what’s making her so upset.

After a while, she calms down, but the four of us don’t talk. Dad’s arm is around me and Mom, while Mom still holds Ella. 

“Everything okay?” I ask, hoping one of them would answer me.

“Everything’s wonderful, baby,” Mom manages a smile.

“Why were you crying?” Ella asks. 

“I was mad,” she answers. 

“About what?” I question.

“Just...” She takes a shaky breath. “Thinking about your dad. And Uncle Boris.”

Her words were directed at Ella, whose face falls. “Why are you mad at him?”

Mom doesn’t hesitate before quickly saying, “No reason, baby,” as if she’s trying to erase what she just said. She gives Dad a look. “Isn’t it getting late?” 

“But-” I try to stop them.

Dad pats me on the shoulder. I think he’s going to tell us to go to bed, but instead he says, “How about we end the night with a game? Or a movie?”

Ella’s face brights up. 

“We have to get up early for the ceremony,” Mom tries to protest, but Dad’s already picked up Ella over his shoulders. He puts a hand on my back and leads us towards our rooms. 

“Get all the sleep you need, love,” he tells her. “Meanwhile, we’ll be watching... what will we be watching, Ella?”

“Uh... The Lorax!” she cries. 

Could be worse, I think to myself. 

“The Lorax,” Dad finalizes. Mom stands in front of him with her arms crossed, and I can tell she’s doing her best not to smile. He leans forward to kiss her forehead, then we turn and walk away.

...

Mom wakes us up when it’s still dark out. Dad says we can sleep on the drive over, and I’m pretty sure he carried Ella into the car because she wouldn’t wake up. 

The morning is cold but quiet. We don’t talk when we get into the limo. Ella is still sleeping near the back, while I’m a few feet away from her. Mom and Dad are cuddled close, their heads leaning against each other. 

I watched the colors of the sky get lighter, signaling the beginning of a new day. But I wanted it to stay dark. I didn’t want this day to happen. I try to make myself fall asleep so I could calm down. 

But the closer we got to the palace, and the brighter the sun got, the less I was able to sleep. Maybe it was the annoying light. Maybe it was that my seat was uncomfortable. Or maybe, it was that I really, really didn’t want to do this anymore. 

I feel like I need to get up and run. I feel like something bad was about to happen. I want to tell the driver to stop, that we’re moving towards something terrible. My chest feels like it’s in knots. I don’t want to open my mouth or take a breath because I know I’ll start coughing. 

But I can’t suffocate myself. I open my mouth and start coughing and crying at the same time. Mom and Dad unbuckle their belts and rush to my side. 

The dread intensifies. “I don’t wanna do this,” I tell them. “I don’t wanna go!” 

“Why not, baby, what happened?” Mama asked. 

I couldn’t tell her what I thought. Well, maybe I could, but I don’t want to. I don’t want to tell her that I’m deathly afraid that I would do something wrong, and all the mean people at court would have something to say about it for the rest of my life. I don’t want to tell her that I had heard some of the things the noblewomen had said about her and Dad, and I don’t want to hear more of it. I don’t want to tell her that I want to skip the ceremony entirely. 

“Gabriel,” Dad catches my attention. “Breathe.” 

I can’t bring myself to listen to him. My chest feels tighter. I want to get out of the car.

“Breathe,” he says again, and starts breathing in a slow rhythm. I know he wants me to copy him, so as best as I can, through the tears and coughs, I follow him.

We do that for a while. For a moment I stop copying him and cry again; I felt like I was bothering him. But again Dad puts a hand on my shoulder and breathes with me. Eventually, the dread goes away and I feel a bit normal again. 

“Do you need anything?” Dad asks. I don’t open my mouth; I’m scared I’ll start coughing and crying again. “I know you’re worried, you have every right to be, but I promise it will not be as bad as you think it will.” I try nodding my head at him. “I’ll be there every step of the way. If there’s a moment where you want it all to stop, tell me.” I nod again.

Mom grabs me some water. The knots and nerve-wracking thoughts become smaller. Dad doesn’t leave my side. 

And when we reach the palace, I follow him as Mom and Ella go to their rooms. The palace is busier than I’ve ever seen it. Nobles pass by, rapidly whispering, quickly bowing in Dad’s direction, doing their best to get ready. Servants run around, carrying things from one hallway to another, making sure everything is in the proper place.

Dad keeps his hand on my shoulder as we greet people, attend some morning meetings, eat a quick breakfast, and make our way to the dressing rooms to get ready.

Watching him go through the routine of his day was calming. Before starting anything, Dad would ask me if there was something I need, and then asked if I want to leave and take a moment for myself. 

But I didn’t. The feeling of wanting to be near him was odd... but peaceful. Everything that Dad had to worry about flowed around him: passing by for him to solve it with ease, but never lingering long enough to bother him. He was in control of everything and he made people know that. I feel safe around him. He’s picked me up and scooped me away into peace.

We pass through crowds of finely dressed people while we make our way to the boutique. Inside, Countess Hana and Mom are talking excitedly. 

“Rashad and I went to speak to Neville yesterday,” she tells my mother. “We finalized everything! I’ll be staying in the palace for the time being, and I’m having servants pack my things and bring them to me.”

“And how did Neville react?” Mom asks. 

“He was surprised, I could see it on his face. There was some angry mumbling. But with Rashad there he didn’t have anything to say to either of our faces!”

“You’re finally single and ready to mingle!” Lord Maxwell cries out, wrapping Hana in a big hug. 

“She’s already been mingling,” Aunt Rowan says. “Duke Rashad is waiting for you outside.” She jerks her thumb in the direction of the door.

Duchess Olivia and Drake walk in together as the Countess walks out. Drake ruffles my hair and walks towards Dad. 

“Has Olivia told you everything?” Dad questions. 

Mom pulls me away to start getting dressed, but I can still hear Drake respond with, “Yup. We went to question Jessica this morning.”

“And? Did she have anything to confess?”

“Claimed that Boris had only told her what was happening that day I caught her with him.”

“We didn’t believe her,” Duchess Olivia states. “But she cried the entire time she told the story and said it was the truth. I suggest throwing her in the cells with the Russian.”

The outfit Mom hands me has many different layers. Every piece I put on made me feel fancier. After most of the stuff is on, I step out. Mom comes up to me and places something that looked like a cape over my shoulders. There’s gold on it. 

I look over to see Ella, who wears a rose-colored dress, a similar but smaller cape drawn over her shoulders. She runs her finger over the fur as Aunt Rowan fuses over her. Mom wears a cape, too, and the peach color of her dress is the same color as Dad’s sash on his dark blue military suit.

Mom finishes helping me and hands me a pair of shoes to put on. I take a seat on a chair, and she turns towards Dad and their friends.

“Drake, I’m so sorry,” Mom says to him. 

“Sorry about what?” His voice is heavy. 

“Sorry about everything. With Jessica. Boris.” 

They stare at each other for a long minute. Drake sighs and says, “There’s no reason to be sorry about Jessica. Don’t worry about Boris, either. He tricked all of us.” 

“But you were engaged to her. You loved her. Even if she was wrong for you...”

“Brooks, it’s better to be alone than with the wrong person.” 

Before anyone can say anything more, there’s a knock at the dressing room door. I go to open it, since I’m closest, and see that it’s Grandma!

She tightly wraps me in her arms, then grabs Ella into the same hug. When we part, Grandma goes around the room to greet everyone: hugging Mom and Aunt Rowan, while giving Dad, Drake, Maxwell, and Olivia quick nods. 

Once that’s done, everyone looks around at each other. Mom, Dad, Ella, and I stay in the room while the rest of them leave. Grandma turns to me again to ask how I’m feeling.

“Good,” I tell her honestly. “A bit excited. Also nervous.” 

“That’s okay, you’ll be fine” she exclaims, then turns to Dad. “I heard the news. I guess I should wish you two congratulations.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Brooks,” Dad says.

“But if you ever hurt my daughter again,” Grandma starts. 

“Mom, I need to talk to you about Theo,” my mother says. 

Grandma turns quickly. Dad leads us out of the room and we join Drake, Olivia, and Bertrand on the other side. 

“Everyone is in attendance,” Duke Bertrand tells us. “The Auvernese royals left last night and there’s increased security. Everything is in place.” 

Dad nods at him. Drake asks, “What’s going on in there?”

“She’s telling her mother about Theodore.” 

For a second I hope that Dad would go more into detail about it. I want him to explain what’s so important about Ella’s dad and Uncle Boris. My sister looks at me and raises her eyebrows. I shrug, telling her that I don’t know anything. 

The adults talk for a few more moments. The palace looks like it’s cleared out and there are only members of security and staff walking around. The guards made me a bit more anxious; seeing them made me think that there was something for me to worry about. But Ella starts talking to me and I’m distracted.

Finally, Mom and Grandma come out of the room. Grandma’s eyes are red. She pats Dad’s shoulder, holds Mom’s hand, and says a soft, “I’m sorry.”

Small smiles pass on the adult’s faces. I look up at my mother, wanting to know what she and Grandma discussed. Mom leans down to plant a kiss on my head and my sister’s. 

Duke Bertrand mentions that we’re about to be late. “The anointing hall awaits!” he calls, and leads us away. 

We pass by the lobby of the palace. Through the glass, I can see a large crowd of people cheering. I couldn't hear what they were saying, but they cry out excitedly.

We walk through corridors, up multiple flights of stairs, and through countless hallways until we come to a wing of the palace I’ve never seen before.

“We’re not going to the usual throne room?” Mom asks. 

“Tradition dictates that all royal heirs be anointed here,” Dad tells her, “in the original throne room.” 

“It’s a true honor,” Duke Bertrand states, a proud smile on his face. “One that will go down in Cordonian history... nay, the history of the world! Everyone will be watching!” 

Everyone? I think to myself. 

As Bertrand guides Grandma, Ella, and Drake inside, I try to take deep breaths to calm the anxiety that starts again. Dad notices and puts a hand on my shoulder. He matches my breathing until the panic disappears. 

“Ready?” he asks.

I nod.

Mom and Dad stand close behind me. The doors open, and rich music swells around me. People turn to look, and I freeze in place. There are smiles sent in my direction, and curious looks thrown in the direction of Mom and Dad. I see Hunter and Heather and their parents, Drake, Countess Hana, Lord Maxwell, Aunt Rowan, my sister, and my grandmother. 

I take a step forward, not entirely sure if that’s what I’m supposed to do. 

The closer I get to the throne, the more I notice my surroundings. There are nobles holding their house flags, one of them shouts out an introduction, though, through the thundering in my head and the loud music, their voices are drowned out. 

After the person finishes talking, people being to applaud. I look around nervously at everyone, but I’m thankfully met with kind eyes.

Halfway down the aisle, Duke Landon and his family hold swords above my head. I give them my best smile, hoping they wouldn’t drop the swords on me, and continue on. I was almost at the throne. It was almost over.

Near the stairs, I recognize some more members of the Great Houses. Duchess Olivia stands next to a crown. A Lady holds a golden scepter, and another holds a small vial of oil.

“We are gathered here today to witness Gabriel’s anointment as Crown Prince of Cordonia,” Duchess Olivia’s commanding voice says to the crowd. “This ceremony represents Cordonia’s unity, as we pledge our loyalty to our future king.”

A cheer rises from the crowd behind me, which is unexpected. The people are happy. For me.

“Gabriel Rys,” the Duchess turns to me. “Do you accept the title of Crown Prince, and all the responsibilities it carries?” 

Trying to sound responsible, I repeat her question in my answer, showing that I was paying attention: “I accept the title of Crown Prince and all the responsibilities that it carries.” 

“Lady Kiara of House Theron, you may now cross the heir with the royal scepter, that he may be ready to shoulder the station it represents.” 

I turn to Lady Kiara, and she does what Duchess Olivia said. The scepter glitters as it passes in front of me. 

“Countess Madeleine of House Fydelia,” the Duchess starts again, “you may now anoint the heir in apple oil.”

She puts a drop of the oil on my forehead, which falls down between my eyebrows and down the tip of my nose, dropping on my chin. It smells funny. I fight to keep a sneeze in. 

The Countess steps back, and Olivia picks up the crown. She faces me, and I bow my head slightly, allowing her to place it over my head. 

Dad had told me that it might be heavy, but that wasn’t what I was worried about. The crown fit perfectly on my head. When I stood up straight again, it didn’t tilt or move. I felt like I had just been given the final piece of a puzzle. I give a wide grin.

Duchess Olivia’s commanding voice heightens as she cries, “May I present to you the new Crown Prince of Cordonia, Prince Gabriel!” 

I let out a sigh of relief. The crowd cheers again. My parents’ friends and my sister surround me, giving me high fives and pats on the back. A photographer comes in front of us and snaps a picture. 

“Our first professional photo as a family,” Dad says to us. 

“So that’s it?” Ella asks.

“Well, you still have to be anointed as a royal,” Dad tells her, “but that won’t happen until your mother and I are married.”

“Oh, okay!” she cries. 

In the middle of the celebration, we’re led down to the main ballroom. We’re showered with enthusiastic congratulations, both for the ceremony and my parent’s engagement. 

Hours ago, I had been worried about what people would say to me or about me. But the nobles who come up to us say that they’re proud of me and excited for my future in Cordonia. Some of them even have gifts for Ella and I. 

Mom walks around to mingle with people. I walk with Dad and Ella, and we bump into Hunter, Heater, and their parents. 

“Congrats, kiddo,” Uncle Leo ruffles my hair. “You did good out there.”

“Thanks,” I say, as Hunter repeats the wish. 

“The nobles are under your control, huh?” Uncle Leo asks Dad. “I know some of them came to prove their loyalty to the crown after years of speaking against it. Having an heir changes everything.” 

“It truly does,” Dad says. “Not only will Cordonia be more stable, but the Great Houses will no longer dare to question my actions.” 

“They haven’t said anything about your engagement?” 

“Why would they say anything against their King? Or, for that matter, their future queen and the mother of the heir? That sounds borderline treasonous to me.” There’s a smile in Dad’s voice. I smile, too, when I understand what he's saying. He really did have everything under control. 

Uncle Leo chuckles. “I’m proud of you, brother.” 

After the party ends and hundreds of other pictures have been taken, Lord Maxwell and Aunt Rowan lead us into our rooms to get changed. 

Once she's in her pajamas, Ella flops onto the bed, but Aunt Rowan tells her to get up. 

We leave the room and weave through the hallways. It’s much later than we thought it was, and most of the guests are already asleep. We reach a pair of ordinate doors, which look like every other door in the palace, but on the other side of it is a large movie room.

The smell of popcorn and candy wraps around me. Mom and Dad are in the back row, talking to Lady Hana, Duke Rashad, Uncle Leo, and Aunt Katie. Drake, Bartie, and Hunter are picking out a movie, while Duchess Savannah, Grandma, and Duchess Olivia are near the popcorn maker.

“Thought we could all use some family-fun time,” Lord Maxwell says to us.

Though we had just watched a movie last night, this did seem fun, and I’m not about to complain. Ella runs towards the popcorn. Once she has all the snacks she desires, she finds a seat near Heather.

“Looks cool,” I tell Lord Maxwell as we walk towards Drake and Bartie. “What are we watching?” 

“Anything you guys want,” Drake says. 

“Can we not watch Disney?” Hunter asks. 

“Or The Lorax?” I say.

Drake laughs. “Alright, alright. Take your seats, The Lorax begins in a few moments.” 

Bartie, Hunter, and I roll our eyes and grab some snacks. The adults all take a seat near each other. 

When the beginning of the movie starts and someone dims the lights, the serenity around me lulls me towards sleep. I remember the uneasiness from this morning, and I almost laugh at myself for feeling that way at all. 

A couple of months ago, this wouldn’t have been the life I would have chosen. But looking back, I know that wasn’t up to me. The aftermath of the bombing brought my family surprises, but without it, would we all have been this happy?

Did Mom smile this way before? Did she laugh so carelessly? Did she used to have friends who laughed with her this way? 

Dad. I wouldn’t even have known him. Maybe before I was angry that he interrupted our family, maybe I thought that he was doing the wrong thing by trying to bring my mother to Cordonia, but everything ended up right. 

Through the sadness, desperation, and fear — fear that my mother might forget me again, fear that a strange man would take me away from Mom and my sister, fear that I would never be loved the same way again — came goodness and peace and family. The whole thing feels like a landmark: it’s led us all to a happier, more pleasant life.

[drazzilder]

A Hellish Encounter

By Drazzilder 

Chapter 26: Public Eye

It has been a month since you left the hospital and it has been chaotic. As you were leaving, photographers and news outlets were all over you. Enji and Zaheer went a little overboard with their flames to protect you but you know they just wanted you to be safe. The media sometimes try to stop by the house but Zaheer scares them away. Zaheer can now leave and enter your body freely but only for a limited time. It was weird at first but you got used to it.

Once you were brought home, you were treated like a king as whole family did everything for you. At first it was awkward for you, you tried to walk downstairs to get something to drink and Fuyumi caught you and got Enji to carry you back to bed. After a day of this, you finally gave in and took the help. Baths with Enji were your favorite, he treated so gently like he could hurt you. He is so overly protective now but you can’t help find it adorable. It is also funny seeing a demon in the house. You wish you were at the front door when Zaheer picked up a delivery for the first time, the poor teenager screamed and ran away. Inside the home, it took the children some time to get used to it but eventually even Natsuo got used to the red giant.

The first public appearance of Enji was a train wreck. Everyone was attacking him. You were standing by the sidelines as you watched reporter after reporter try to break your man down. They asked about you, about Zaheer, about the kids. He was doing well until one of them asked if he really did love you or if it was some kind of way to be more powerful. The fire on his face roared up and threatened to burn down the event hall till Zaheer walked in stage. He told them no more questions and lead Enji out.

You have been recovering the past month and physical therapy is the name of the game. Enji had a hard time letting anyone else touch you during each session to the point he took over and bought the equipment for home. He just couldn’t stand seeing someone else pushing you that hard but you found it endearing if not a little over the top. The hardest part is trying to form the control over your body. It has been so long since you made the original connections you forgot the layout. Sometimes you will think you are walking until you have to move differently for some reason and your arm just slaps Enji. Luckily, Zaheer is there to help rebuild the connections. Speaking of your body, Enji can’t get enough of it. Your more muscular frame drives him insane. The first time he grabbed your horns during sex just about sent you over the edge. Enji quickly realized that your claws are going to leave marks on him but your tail is the where you like to play dirty.

Today you are going to your first interview since the attack. It’s a little scary because you don’t like being on camera, for obvious reasons. But also, it is the first time you will be on an interview by yourself. Enji will be there, behind the stage, but your nerves are still getting the better of you.

“(Y/N), are you ok, you’re shaking.” His arm is wrapped around your shoulder holding you tight. Since the attack, Enji has wasted no time showing his love for you in public: grabbing, hugging, even kissing you.

“I’m just nervous.”

“There is no need to be, we went over all of the questions she is going to ask. I know you will do great.”

“Thanks, I needed that.” You say leaning closer into his grip.

You enter a film studio and you sit down in a large chair on a talk show set and there is an audience. Enji stays behind the stage but is watching you on a live feed. Ayako comes out and sits down.

“Alright ladies and gentlemen, it’s the moment we have been waiting for: an interview with Hellboy!”

The audience cheers and claps as the camera pans out.

“Good morning, it’s nice to be here.”

“Hellboy, I’m just going to get right to it: what’s it like having a demon inside of you?”

“Well, at first it was really rough but once you get to know him, he pretty chill. He did try to take over my body but after we got to know each other we became friends. I don’t know what I would do without him.”

“So, your saying he isn’t evil?”

“I wouldn’t put myself under that category.”

“Oh! Good morning, Zaheer! About (Y/N), what’s it like being inside of him?”

“I’m not really sure how to answer that. I guess it’s like a room that I can change as I want and I can influence (Y/N) but other than that, not much really. I do enjoy being with him and I’m proud of him.”

“Interesting. What about that new ability where you can come outside of Hellboy?”

“It’s nothing new but it takes a lot of energy to use, that’s why I’m staying in right now.”

“That’s alright. Now… the viewing audience really wants to know one thing, what is it like dating Endeavor!?” The audience makes a collective ‘oooooOOOOoooo!!’ In excitement at this question.

“Well, no one has ever made me feel the way he does. I really do love him. I never thought I would ever find happiness, let alone from the number 2 hero. We do have our ups and downs but we always make sure to communicate and never go to bed angry.”

“That sounds sweet, and is it true you meet at the crossing bombing?”

“Yes, I passed out after I stopped the bomb and he saved me. Since then, my life has only gotten better.” The audience awws.

“When did you start dating?”

“I’d rather not say.”

“Oh, come on. Tell us.”

“Move on to the next question.”

“Alright. What is your quirk?”

“They call it Demon’s Blood, but there really isn’t one quirk.”

“What do you mean?”

“A demon doesn’t really have one power or quirk. Some have a little power some have a lot. Zaheer has more than any other demon I have heard of so he has lots abilities.”

“Ooo, I like that answer. Why do you want to be a hero?”

“I always want to help people, trying to make the world a better place. It just seems like the right thing to do with the power I was given.”

“Would you say you’re compensating for something?”

“What do you mean?” You say with a puzzling look.

She starts looking at her note cards. “When did you escape from prison?”

“What?” you answer in a startled manner.

“When were you going to tell the citizens, the ones you protect, that you are an escaped convict.”

“It’s not like that!” You say as the audience starts whispering.

“Well, it says here that you killed over 2000 people and destroyed government buildings. When did you plan on telling them that little fact about you?”

“It wasn’t… I didn’t… I…”

“Is that why you’re a hero, to repent for what you done?”

“No…. that’s not….”

“We do have proof that you killed all of those people.”

“Proof?” You look at her with panic.

“Play the video.”

The screen behind you starts showing video of inside the facility. People are running in panic and screaming as a red glow starts coming into screen. That light is you, consumed by demonic energy. People are dying left and right as you take your revenge on them. You turn around to see the audience react in horror and shock, some of them start getting sick from the video.

“STOP IT, STOP IT!” you begin to grab your face in pain as Enji run onto the stage.

“Where did you get those questions and where did you find that video?” Enji yells as Ayako.

“Oh, he’s just being dramatic, and the public should know who he really is.”

“You’re messing with a demon! Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”

“Ayako…I’m ready to talk now.”

Everyone looks at you in shock as you are glowing with red energy in the form spectral flames and the markings on your arms begin to glow. Your voice has combined with Zaheer’s and your eyes are both white with red irises. Still sitting in the chair, your claws begin to dig into the armrests.

“Oh, Hellboy I see your willing to talk.”

“Stop it Ayako, don’t taunt him right now.”

“It’s quite alright Enji, let me humor her. Yes, I did kill all those people. Those ‘scientists’ put Zaheer inside of me. They proceeded to torture me by performing tests and surgeries while I was awake. Then they locked me in a room for ten years: no light, no human interaction, I almost went insane. The only reason I’m alive is because of Zaheer.”

“What about Adam, where is he n…?” She tries to ask more but Enji puts his hand over her mouth but it’s too late.

“How do you know about Adam? Where are you getting this information? You know what, I think you’re working for him. You have to be, how else did you get the video and know all of these questions.”

Both of your hands grab at your face, you’re trying to stop the demonic energy inside of you. Suddenly Zaheer manages to speak through you and just yells “RUN!!!” The crowd begins to flee in fear as the ground beneath you starts cracking. When you uncover your face, your eyes are glowing completely red as the demonic energy has taken over. You stand up and start walking towards Enji and Ayako.

“Step aside Enji, I don’t want to hurt you. I only want to teach her a lesson: don’t mess with a demon.”

“(Y/N), look at me! This isn’t you.” He takes off his glasses so you can see his eyes better.

“If you don’t move, I’ll make you.”

Enji comes to a fighting stance, his hands alight. You take a few steps forward before lunging at him. You take the first swing but he dodges. The second punch lands and Enji coughs in pain. Enji manages to land a few punches on you but it’s like hitting a wall. As he continues to fight you, he remembers something. The next time you go to punch him, he doesn’t try to dodge. He grabs your arm and pulls you in close as he wraps his arms around you. He then turns up the heat as high as he dares to not set the building on fire. At this point you stopped fighting and are standing still in the fire. Enji looks in your eyes and sees they are starting to fade back to normal. “Warmth always calms you down, doesn’t it (Y/N)?” You slowly nod your head, eyes unblinking as if you are in a trance. After a few minutes in the fire, Enji stops the flames and you’re standing next to him. You look around to see no one in the room except you three and the destruction you left. You don’t cry but you can’t look at Enji. He goes to talk with Ayako for a minute and comes back.

“(Y/N), let’s go home.” And you both teleport back home. The rest of the evening you were silent; not even saying a word at dinner even though Enji brought in your favorite for you to cheer you up. When you both went to bed, you couldn’t face him. That’s when Enji snapped and turned you over to face him.

“Damn it, (Y/N), talk to me. Don’t worry about what happened, Ayako destroyed that recording and we won’t do another interview with you alone. The audience all had their memories adjusted thanks to Zaheer. What has gotten you so upset? Please talk to me.”

“It’s two things. One I lost control. When I saw that video, it reminded me of everything that happened to me and how I escaped. I did kill all those people but I didn’t mean to, I just lost control. I was so mentally unstable from that room. You know Zaheer tried day after day to keep me sane but it got to the point that I thought he was a voice in my head. I would just sit in the floor for days just rocking back and forth talking to the voices in my head. It was so dark then. The worst part is that I relived all of it during the coma.”

“Wait, what? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“It was just replaying everything that had already happened, but it just brought it back to the front. The only thing different is how it ended, the doll calling for me. I heard your voice through the doll after I left the room. Then Rei saved me.”

“Oh…. I’m so sorry.” He places a warm hand of your cheek.

“The other thing that has me worked up is how did she get that video? I keep questioning if the people who are looking for me still are. I worry they will take me away from you. I worry they will hurt you. I worry they will take Zaheer from me.”

“(Y/N), you have nothing to worry about. I will always fight for you, got it? Now, let’s just get some rest, tomorrow we need to work on releasing some of that energy safely, ok?”

“Thank you Enji. I love you.”

“I love you too.” He says as he kisses you on the lips. 

Next Chapter: R18/NSFW  

[imjeralee]

Comfort in Despair: Chapter 26 - Away From the Maddening Crowd

Leon x F!Reader

Disclaimer: Do not own Pokemon

Summary:

Galar is rich in folklore and tales of the supernatural.

As a Pokemon Researcher who specialises in ghost types, this is a great opportunity for you to investigate and learn more about the paranormal.

Along the way, you meet Leon (in the most awkward way possible) who becomes embroiled in your adventures.

^ Basically this story is about ghosts :/

NOTE: Again I have let Genshin Impact to consume my soul so I updated this on Tumblr a bit late sorry!!!

Rating: General/Teen

@marydragneell​ here is the latest update

Away From the Maddening Crowd

…

…

[Aura:

1. A form of spiritual energy described as the essence of every living creature.

2. There were humans who could sense Aura and control its power. These humans were known as Aura Guardians and they traveled around doing good deeds and passing on their skills to those who also possessed this innate ability. However, they also disappeared from history, for some undisclosed reason.]

…

…

In the early morning, you head to the cemetery to find Ezra, only to discover it is empty and the stone steps to the mausoleum have been destroyed.

Whilst you wonder what could have happened, a note weighed down by a rock near the abandoned mausoleum is your clue and you peel it off, scanning the contents. It’s been written in Ezra’s messy handwriting and it says:

[I’m on a case and have gone out to do some investigation. Be back soon.]

“I hope he's okay,” you utter under your breath as you pocket the note; it occurs to you that you don't worry about Ezra often unless it's to do with his general wellbeing and health. He's never bothered you with his own missions and you don't doubt his proficiency in handling evil spirits.

You had wanted to ask him about Gossamer Cave but it looks like you’re on your own for the time being so you return home where Magnolia has some nice, piping hot breakfast waiting for you when you announce your return. You will also be going shopping with Sonia later to find a dress for the party Leon invited you to.

At the table, you sit with various atlases and maps in front of you, along with your laptop propped open as you drink your soup and munch on toast.

“What are you doing?” Sonia asks, as you bury yourself nose-deep in a book.

“Ezra took me to a place called Gossamer Cave in the Wild Area several years ago, I can’t seem to find it anywhere on any maps.”

“I don’t recall there being a place called Gossamer Cave in the Wild Area,” she replies as she casually spreads some cheri berry jam over her toast with the knife. “Why are you looking for it?”

“Never mind,” you utter quickly, “it’s probably changed names or something.”

Strange thing is, none of these atlases or maps show any caves or sinkholes within the Dusty Bowl area at all.

Frustrated, you put down your work to focus on your breakfast, though today’s newspaper headline becomes your next highlight.

The front page is covered with content about Flora’s murder. You read all about it: her mother has been found guilty to manslaughter. Hank has been released, and Frankie will be returning to boarding school...though you didn’t receive any further follow-up from her.

A section concerning Leon’s upcoming match with Volkner is also squashed beside the article. You skim through it and turn to the next page, spotting a large photo of Leon so you grab some scissors and snip it out carefully.

Sonia giggles as you slip the photo into your journal. You’ve begun a small collection to show unwavering support for your boyfriend, cutting out any articles or photos about him from all sorts of magazines or newspapers you come across.

You’re certain his mum and Hop do the same so it’ll be interesting to share what you have collected in the future.

Meanwhile, Magnolia wanders around the kitchen, asking, “Has anyone seen Sunkern and Cutiefly?” She’s checking the cupboards and under the table. “Sunkern? Cutiefly? Where are you?"

“Did you check the conservatory?” Sonia asks.

“I already did, they’re not there.”

“Where was the last place you saw them?” you ask.

“I left them playing together over there,” Magnolia replies in confusion, gesturing to a potted plant near one of the windows, “and now they’re gone.”

You and Sonia leave your seats to assist the professor with the search but unfortunately have no luck locating the two pokemon and Magnolia gives up for the time being. Maybe they have managed to bounce off somewhere to play and will return later. The pokemon have gone off to play before.

“Sunkern, Cutiefly, are you upstairs?” Magnolia can be heard as she disappears up the staircase.

After breakfast, you and Sonia get ready to go out until the doorbell rings and Runerigus stops washing the dishes to float over, opening the door.

“Oh, hello there, sir!” exclaims a cheerful voice and both you and Sonia leave the room and into the landing, peering over the railing to see Leon’s mum at the doorstep with Hop and Wooloo by her side. “I’m looking for…”

She says your name and you and Sonia exchange glances before quickly heading down the stairs and Leon’s mum spots you; she smiles widely at your arrival, waving cheerily and Runerigus hops backwards to give you more space.

“Hello my dears!” Leon’s mum greets you two, “how are you?”

“We’re fine, thank you.”

After the pleasantries and small talk are over, she says, “I have a favour to ask you-“

“Muuuuum,” Hop whines in the background as she grabs him and steers him towards your direction, smiling widely.

“Can you please look after my Hip-Hop whilst I take the grandparents to the community centre?”

“Mum, I’m old enough to look after myself,” Hop wails, only to be ignored.

“Sure, Sonia and I were going to go out shopping so Hop can join us."

Hop’s eyes brighten up at once. “You are? Where are you going?”

“Wyndon Shopping Centre,” Sonia replies.

“Take me with you!” Hop abruptly yells, pumping his fists into the air and Wooloo bleating happily beside him.

Leon’s mum claps her hands together with glee. “Excellent, I’ll leave Anthony Hop-kins in your care then.”

“Muuuuum!” Hop wails in horror, his face reddening whilst you and Sonia giggle.

“Goodbye!” she says after pecking Hop on the cheek and ruffling his hair, before she dashes to their car which is parked in the front lawn near the bench. It resembles a Charizard. “Have fun, Hop! I’ll be back to pick you up by five!”

“Okay, bye mum!”

You watch as she steers the car out and onto the main road, chugging out of sight in minutes.

“Well, looks like you’re stuck with us,” Sonia says, and Hop turns round to you with a grin, folding his arms behind his head.

Hop nods. “Are we going now?”

“Yep!”

“Awesome!”

You quickly don your shoes whilst Sonia fetches her car keys; she will be driving you to the shopping centre. Magnolia sees you off and you’re about to enter the car when a stone smacks into the door from out of nowhere, just inches from the handle and promptly drops to the ground.

A look of annoyance crosses Sonia’s face at once as the stone rolls close to her feet and she looks up and around. “Hey! Who did that?! Who’s there?”

Another stone is tossed at the car, this time, aimed at one of the lights and your group turns round to see a little boy emerging from one of the bushes close to the house with a pile of stones in his hand.

“Witch!” he yells, pointing at you accusingly.

You remember this youngster; he was part of the trio who had ambushed you outside the lab the night when Leon had gifted you the flowers. You had spared him (although you thought your pokemon had taught him a lesson but it seems unlikely) and now he’s back with a vengeance.

“Hey, what gives, Johnny?!” Hop yells furiously, before he rolls the sleeves of his coat higher over his arms and promptly marches over.

Johnny? Must be a classmate of Hop’s.

“Hop, wait-“ Sonia says, but Hop’s almost nose-to-nose with the smarmy-looking kid.

“Shut up, Helmet Hair!!!” the boy yells; it dawns to you that this child and Hop are potentially the same age, being almost the same height and all.

“H-helmet hair?” Hop croaks out, wide-eyed.

“Hop, ignore him, let’s just go,” you mutter, but he shakes his head rigorously.

“No way! I’m defending your honor!” Hop yells. “Leave her alone! What she’d ever do to you?”

“My mum and dad says she’s an evil witch and must be destroyed! Anyone helping her must be destroyed too!”

“What?!” Hop and Sonia exclaim in unison.

“Go Spearow!” yells the kid; he tosses a pokeball into the air to reveal a small but familiar and rather mean-looking bird who flaps its short wings in the air before it quickly zooms towards Hop and Wooloo. “Quick Attack!”

“Dodge it, Wooloo!” Hop yells, and Wooloo acknowledges the instruction with a bleat and rolls to the left, successfully evading the assault. Hop scurries to the side, taking an offensive stance and placing some distance between him and his opponent.

A mini battle is taking place; Hop’s skills are impressive as he coordinates with his pokemon and swiftly instructs Wooloo to attack. You and Sonia quickly rush to a safe spot to observe with Sonia actively cheering for him.

“Go Hop, go!” she exclaims, and Hop tells Wooloo to counterattack with a Tackle.

The Spearow avoids by flying to the right and responds with a Peck attack. Wooloo cries out, squeezing its eyes shut as the bird pecks at its head aggressively.

“Wooloo, no!” Hop yelps, as the sheep struggles.

“Spearow, finish it off with a Fury Attack!”

“Not on my watch!” Hop shouts, “Wooloo, use Defense Curl!”

The sheep abruptly rolls into a tight ball and Spearow’s attack bounces off its large and fluffy hide, reducing the attack to nothingness.

“Now use Tackle!” Hop instructs and Wooloo springs out of its curled form to rapidly ram itself against the bird that had come too close for comfort.

Wooloo successfully knocks out the rampaging Spearow and it flops to the ground, out cold and unmoving. It was a critical hit!

“Well done, Hop!” you and Sonia cheer, whooping loudly whilst the punk kid named Johnny growls under his breath and returns his fainted pokemon into its capsule.

“Y-you’ll pay for this!” he yells before he rapidly spins on his heel and sprints down the path and out of sight.

“I won!” Hop cheers and everyone exchanges high fives when he rushes up to you happily. “That was sooooo awesome! And Wooloo!!! You were amazing!”

He picks up the sheep and throws her around in the air and in circles. Wooloo bleats loudly in response and they both share an embrace.

“Hey, he didn’t give you any prize money,” you pipe up.

“Eh, it’s fine.”

“Alright, shall we go? We’re running late,” Sonia says, nudging her head to the car and opening the door; Hops scrabbles into the backseat with his pokemon.

“Come on, let’s go!!” Sonia honks the horn whilst Hop pokes his head out of the window.

“Yeah!!! Let’s goooo!” he echoes loudly.

“Coming,” you reply.

…

When the car has left and is out of sight, a pokemon emerges from its hiding place in the shadows.

It had been watching your group the entire time before it stares at the direction where the boy had run off to. It had wanted to follow you, but it cannot pass up on this opportunity.

Hovering in the air, it floats silently towards the boy’s direction with a smirk, having found its prey.

…

Sonia’s brought you to a boutique which is immensely popular and trending in Galarian Chatot and so the shopping excursion begins. Hops lags behind with his arms folded behind his back, glancing around inquisitively.

“Well, what do you think?” she says with a cheery smile plastered on her face.

“It’s so bright and shiny here,” Hop remarks with a groan.

“It’s huge,” you blurt out, glancing around.

“Yep!! Let’s begin!”

The store is beautiful, with décor out of a fairytale book or a princess castle. With pale pink walls adorned with lacy drapes and fake roses, plush white rugs and plastic models of fairy pokemon standing beside mannequins, saleswomen and men dressed in exceptionally smart suits and skirts rush to the aid of their well-off patrons whilst you and Sonia head unnoticed to the dress section.

You had told Sonia you were wanting to wear something red (but not as flashy as the Miss Motostoke dresses) so she quickly locates where all the dresses of a variety of plum, crimson or scarlet shades have been grouped together.

Bored, Hop sits down on the plushy ottoman provided and Sonia begins rifling through one of the racks. You’re not sure where to begin exactly so you start at the opposite side and browse on your own.

Recalling Leon’s outfit in your mind, you hope to find something suitable but all you come across are styles that are simply too girly, too lacy, too short, too long, too pink or too purple or too peachy for your liking.

“Here, try this one,” Sonia approaches you with several dresses protected by plastic covers looped over one arm. “This one too.”

She hands you two dresses.

“And this one.”

A third is placed under your care.

She lifts up a fourth; it’s scarlet and full of ruffles. “Hmm, not this one. Let me put it back…”

A saleswoman rushes over to help you out. “Let me get those for you, madam…” she says, scooping them out of your hands.

“Thank you.”

“Can I help you with anything?”

“Nope! We’re good,” Sonia says, returning to your side, “here, you should try these on.”

The dressing rooms are an equally pink abomination, with thick white drapes and an abundance of fake roses sewn over them. Sonia squeals with glee and takes several selfies with the curtains whilst Hop and Wooloo sit down on the white leather couch in front of your cubicle.

“You okay, Hop?” you ask, and he nods. “Are you hungry?”

“Not yet.”

“We’ll get something to eat afterwards.”

“Okay,” he replies, before he grins widely at you. “I am kinda thirsty though.”

You remember there was a smoothie bar outside the shop and you fish some money out of your pocket, handing it to him. “Here, get yourself something to drink.”

He blinks his golden eyes before his cheeks turn pink. “Oh, um, I-I shouldn’t…mum says I shouldn’t-“

“It’s okay, Hop, go ahead.”

He grins widely at you in response. “Thanks, mate!”

You smile and watch as he sprints off, then you disappear into the cubicle and pull the curtain back, lifting up one of the dresses to eye level. Sonia has chosen an exquisite one-shoulder cardinal red dress. You hurriedly slip out of your clothes and slip it on, the silky material slinking over your belly and hips.

“Wow,” you cannot help but croak out; you’ve never worn anything so fancy before in your life.

As you stand in front of the mirror, you hear Sonia saying, “So? How is it? Let me see!”

“Okay, hold on,” you murmur, before you pull the curtain back.

Sonia is lounging lazily and sits up properly once you appear; Sonia lets out a gasp of awe, her eyes lighting up. “You look great!!”

“…I’m not sure about this one. Let me try on the next one.”

Disappearing inside the cubicle for a second time, you shimmy out of the dress and put the next one on; outside and you can hear Hop returning.

“Hey, what’d I miss?”

“Nothing much,” Sonia replies with a giggle, and you pull the curtain back, stepping outside.

Hop is sipping on a large smoothie and he looks at you up and down.

“What’d you guys think?” you ask.

“I like it!” Sonia exclaims.

“Are you sure? Something doesn’t feel right,” you utter. “Hop?”

He puts a hand under his chin. “I agree. It’s not Lee’s style’s either.”

“Exactly. Too lacy, I think.”

With that, you pull the curtain and step out of the dress as carefully as you can, hang it back up properly and grab the next one in the queue. It’s mulberry red and off-the-shoulder. You also show Sonia and Hop for their opinions. On this occasion, Sonia dislikes it but Hop shows a thumbs up.

You’re also personally not too keen on this one either so you move onto the next dress. The next one is cinnamon rose, A-line and asymmetrical and the moment you don it, you stare at your reflection and realise it’s perfect; this is it.

This is the one.

Pushing the curtain apart for the final time, Sonia and Hop rise from their seats to gawp as you stand before them with a grin.

“It’s this one,” you say, “I’ll take this one.”

…

It's the day of Leon’s battle with Volkner, and the entire Galar region is abuzz with anticipation.

The TV blasts adverts about the match, informing people to get their hands on tickets as soon as they can as it is the ‘match of the century’ (despite all tickets being sold out six months prior). Convenience stores begin selling Leon and Volkner merchandise. Their faces are slapped everywhere you look – on milk cartons, train tickets, billboards and posters. Everyone’s celebrating.

You realise it’s rather nice to be part of something as important as this, as you queue in the stadium with your VIP pass in hands.

Prior and you did tell Volkner that you had given your ticket to Jace since you already possessed a Wyndon Annual Pass. Your seat for the match is front row, in a block on Leon’s side, which is considered one of the best seats of the entire stadium. Leon had really gone all out to ensure you would be able to get a good view.

The party begins two hours or so after the match, and you aren’t sure if that gives Leon enough downtime but you presume he must be used to this kind of busy schedule.

You’re rather excited; you had purchased a pair of matching shoes and some accessories, namely a white corsage that will go with Leon’s outfit.

Everything’s going as you had planned.

“This is so exciting!” Jace exclaims as he waits beside you, holding a large box that’s carrying a carton of popcorn and a massive drink within. Joltik sits on his shoulder, with some kernels stuck to his fuzzy body and legs. “I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance to actually go in the stadium as a spectator! And we’re watching a match together!!!”

He proceeds to whip out a glittery blue and yellow sign that says “Volkner #1”. He’s not alone, you see a large group of Volkner fans up ahead, chatting loudly and wearing Luxray hats; they can be heard animatedly discussing his strategies and his pokemon. Meanwhile, Leon fans wearing copies of his signature snapback and Charizard hats pass by, holding up signs that says ‘Leon #1’.

“I’m sorry, chuck, but I gotta cheer for Volkner, ya know?” he says.

“It’s fine, I’m going to be cheering for Leon.”

Jace scoffs whilst you crack a grin. “I don’t think we’ve hung out like this before, not for a long time anyway,” he says, before he scratches the back of his head. “…Actually, I have something to tell you.”

“What?”

“Volkner asked me if I wanted to work in his gym. He tried to get me a position a few years ago but I had moved to Galar by then,” he says quietly, and somehow you’re not liking where this conversation is leading.

“Are you leaving, Jace?” you ask.

Jace blinks blankly, before he nods.

“……..Oh,” you squeak out.

The stadium grows quiet.

The screaming fans, the chatter, the music in the background, the flashing videos….

None of those seems to matter to you anymore.

“Chuck?” he nudges you by the shoulder, “don’t worry, I’m not leaving immediately…so cheer up and let’s enjoy the match!”

The doors open and security begin to allow patrons to enter, causing many fans up ahead to scream and shout and the line begins to move quickly.

You breeze through security who checks your bag and you’re allowed in. Inside, fans can be seen running around with their friends and families and pokemon whilst stadium assistants divert lost fans to their seats.

With Jace, you find your block and navigate to your seat; the stadium is already alit with chanting fans and music from the massive TV screen that’s blaring various Macro Cosmos adverts. Very soon, the remainder of the seats soon begin to fill up and you are surrounded by thousands of adoring fans.

Jace swaps seats with the person beside you so you can be seated together and soon, the stadium lights go off and the crowd goes wild as a swirl of lights form on the pitch from the ceiling flicker on and circle wildly before a blond man with a moustache donned in a white and black football jersey arrives, cruising on his Aegislash.

“Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Wyndon Stadium! My name is Dan and I will be your host today!!!”

The crowd erupts into cheers as he continues to introduce and outline the match before he gestures towards your direction.

“Welcome to the annual Galar-Sinnoh exhibition match! Today, we have Leon, our beloved Champion of Galar, who will be representing Galar’s finest trainers! Tonight, his opponent will be Volkner, who has come all the way from Sunyshore City, representing Sinnoh’s very best!” Dan introduces. “Please put your hands together to give a very warm welcome to Galar’s very best, the one and only….LEON!”

The stadium is booming with cheering and applause as Leon appears; you see his face shown on the TV screen as he strides onto the pitch, waving to the crowd. You can hear lots of high-pitched screaming.

“And now, please welcome the ultra-charismatic, the cool and collected, electrifying VOLKNER!!!!!”

At the opposite end, Volkner appears. He looks calm despite the sheer madness. The boisterous cheers and applause do not stop as the Champion strolls towards the middle of the pitch, ready to meet Volkner. You feel strange towards Volkner now, knowing that he’s offered Jace a job.

You’re happy for Jace, but this means he will be leaving Galar…

“Leon Leon Leon!” chants a row of girls nearer the back, and they break you out of your thoughts; they’re holding massive signs with Leon’s face on it, decorated with little lights and cardboard lovehearts.

“LEON!” someone screams in another block, “LEON, FUCKING MARRY ME! AND HAVE MY FUCKING BABIES!”

“LEEEEEEOOOOOOOONNNNN!” another fan roars, as though they are imitating a slow-motion reel.

You cannot tell if Leon can hear his loyal fans shrieking though he does look up and around with a smile as the camera flashes and the cameras roll from all over.

He offers a little wave and the audience goes wild.

You hold your breath as Leon and Volkner are finally within vicinity of one another, and they shake hands.

They exchange some words which you cannot hear due to being too far away, but when both turn round, Leon spots you in the crowd and grins.

You smile in response and wave.

Dan steers his Aegislash between the two contestants, holding up two flags – one black and one white. With a blow of the whistle, he raises his arms, the flags in the air.

“Match, begin!”

….

It’s time for the party.

The match is over.

Volkner lost.

You leave the stadium, hoping to get the chance to see or speak to Leon but from his forced smile and the slightest drop of his shoulders which he quickly corrects before anyone catches on, you can tell how exhausted he is and as he enters the corridor and out of sight, you see a group of reporters and their camera men trailing after him, shouting and yelling over each other, desperate for post-battle interviews and photos.

Leon is shortly followed by Chairman Rose and Oleana and they’re also surrounded by the paparazzi, but they ignore the group and venture off to where Leon had disappeared.

It’s not the appropriate time to see or speak to him. You will meet him at the party so you and Jace leave the stadium together before splitting up; you have to get ready for the upcoming party now and will find another time to catch up properly.

With Sonia’s help, you leave the house once you’re ready and take a Corviknight taxi to the Rose of the Rondelands where the party is taking place, arriving at reception just in time.

You find your name on the list, sign your name on the book and hand it back to the staff, who in turn, provide you with a black leathery mask.

“What’s this for?” you murmur.

“It’s for all the guests. Optional, of course, but part of the mystery and intrigue,” says the concierge, grinning.

“Cool.”

With the mask in hands, you lift it up and over your eyes, then tie the straps securely over the back of your head.

A set of double doors manned by two smart-looking gentlemen in suits is your next destination and as you approach them, they open the doors for you and you step inside where a large and grandiose hall awaits you.

The interior is simply breathtaking, painted a crisp white and covered with classical antique paintings framed in gold of all shapes and sizes. Crystal chandeliers hang from the ceilings, casting little pearls of glittery light on the rich lush rugs under your feet. You stop to stare, soaking in the view with awe.

The hall is alit with the gentle chatter from the guests within and as you look around, no-one pays attention to your presence. Half of the guests are also wearing their masks, mostly the women. There is no-one here you recognize, mask or not, and you certainly blend in with no qualms.

A live orchestra plays in the corner, an ethereal but seductive melody emitting from their instruments. A few waiters and waitresses weave past you, asking if you are interested in champagne and canapes. You help yourself to several questionable-looking snacks that apparently costs four to five figures per piece and as you chew and swallow, your mouth is alive with unique flavors and tastes you have never experienced before.

It’s simply the best thing you have ever tasted; the food is exquisite.

Begrudgingly, you admit that Rose knows how to take care of guests.

As you ponder where Leon is, you scour for him silently until you spot a very handsome man standing behind the balustrade of the grand staircase at the far end of the hall; it’s none other than Leon and he’s dressed in the red outfit he had shown you the other day with his long hair neatly brushed and tied into a ponytail with a ribbon, a black mask securely fitted over his golden eyes.

You take a moment to admire how ravishing he looks, until he shifts to address a guest and you see an individual to his left; he’s not alone.

Miss Galar stands beside him…

…wearing a red dress.

There are other guests donned in crimson of course, but as you cautiously throw a quick glimpse to yourself, it occurs to you that you are both wearing a dress that are of similar shade. Against your control, you flit your gaze to her again to scrutinize her clothing; her dress is obviously far more expensive and shinier than yours.

You tilt your head to the side, feeling somewhat challenged somehow, and it’s an unfamiliar sensation to you; all in all, you wished she wasn’t wearing red either.

Leon finishes speaking to his group and he averts his gaze to the great hall; his eyes wanders the hall until he spots you looking up at his direction and your gazes meet. He studies you quietly, subjecting you to a sweeping look from head to toe and you hold your breath as the world shifts; everything seems to grind to a stop and time appears to have slowed down. Every individual in the hall dissolves into the background, grouping together into undecipherable blobs and blending with the walls, disappearing one by one, until it’s just you and Leon.

He stares at you for a long time, before he grins.

And he departs from his group, excusing himself politely, though Miss Galar looks like she wants to follow him.

He’s heading towards your direction and your heart flutters with anticipation; you watch as Leon strolls down the stairs, his eyes on you only.

However, the live orchestra crawls to a stop and a bright spotlight suddenly shines on Leon as he reaches the last step, effectively halting him in his tracks. The rest of the lights in the hall also disappear in a split second, bathing you and the remainder of the guests in darkness.

Leon throws his glimpse over his shoulder to see Rose standing at the top of the stairs, dressed in a sleek and shiny black tuxedo.

“Welcome ladies and gentlemen,” he begins, and the conversation dies down and the hall gradually simmers into silence as Rose makes his way down the stairs.

Talk about making a dramatic entrance, you think, as Rose thanks everyone for attending the party and goes on about something you don’t exactly care about.

He has Leon stuck under the spotlight and Leon has no choice but to smile at the guests.

Rose finally joins Leon’s side; they talk for a brief moment about the League, the exhibition match and Galar’s energy plant and some deal they had signed with Sinnoh’s Sunyshore gym. The guests applause and a toast is raised.

With all the formalities over, Roses smiles widely and holds an arm out, “Very good. Now let’s start this wonderful evening with a dance; our beloved Champion and our wonderful Miss Galar.”

Leon grows still; the mask does not cover the acute surprise evidence on his face.

Rose snaps his fingers, the conductor taps his baton and the first violins begin with a vibrant but complicated, fast opening before the rest of the orchestra joins in, playing a romantic waltz.

The guests begin to murmur to one another as Miss Galar smiles and heads for Leon’s direction; she gracefully steps down the stairs and as she appears by his side, Leon looks at you, then at Miss Galar.

She’s waiting.

You slide your gaze to the floor, dejected.

First dance or not, you had hoped you would be the one dancing with Leon, not her.

Miss Galar performs a curtsy, clutching the flimsy material of her dress in hands as she crosses one leg over the other and Leon bows, closing his eyes with one gloved hand on his chest and the other behind his back. He throws one look at Rose, who smiles widely at him in response.

Miss Galar giggles as Leon offers her his arm and they both head to the dancefloor; the crowd dissipates for them to allow them through and once situated in the middle, he slides a hand over her waist and she eagerly slips her hand into his and in tune to the music, they start dancing.

You watch the scene limply from your little spot until a tall man steps in front of you and blocks your view. You make no effort to move to a new place for a better view and head for the tables.

Leon and Miss Galar are soon joined by other guests and the ballroom becomes full with waltzing couples whilst the remaining guests stand, watching.

There is no intention for the waltz to stop anytime soon so you find an empty seat and sit down.

This really wasn’t what you had in mind for the party.

A waiter saunters up to you with a tray of champagne glasses. “Would you like some blanc de noirs, madam?”

“Yes, please,” you utter, even though you have no clue what blanc de noirs actually is, and you help yourself to a flute glass, tipping the rim to your mouth and downing a sip.

It burns the back of your throat but you welcome it and suddenly, a familiar voice says, “May I have this dance?”

You look up to see a familiar blond man before you. He’s dressed in a dark, navy blue suit with a matching gold, paisley pattern tie. “Volkner?”

“Good evening,” he murmurs, before he switches to a more informal tone, “Well. Shall we?”

“I’m not very good at dancing.”

“That’s not a problem for me.”

You smile at him in response as he holds his hand out to you. You debate whether it’s right to be dancing with another man, but it’ll be rude to refuse also so you take his hand and you both head for the dancefloor where the lights are brighter, and the couples are actually dancing faster than you realized.

It’s too late to back down now, as Volkner stands before you, slipping his hand around your waist and holding your other hand with his firmly. He leads and you’re a little stunned at how easily he guides you around the floor beside the other couples. You do your best to step in tune to the music from your practice with Leon, determined not to mess it up.

“I’m sorry about the loss,” you say.

“It’s fine, I’ll just have to try harder next time,” Volkner remarks.

“You were so close; one more move and Charizard would’ve been KO’d.”

“Indeed.”

You aren’t sure whether to mention to him that you’re aware he offered Jace a job but before you can get the chance to mention it, the beat of the music alters slightly and the women begin to twirl.

“Wait, what’s going on-“ you begin, but Volkner helps you spin a circle and back. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.”

You’re somehow close to Leon and Miss Galar from the twirling maneuver that shifts you closer to them than you would have anticipated, and Leon notices your presences immediately.

Leon’s eyes widens and in mid-dance, he twists his head round to stare.

“Leon, what’s wrong?” asks Miss Galar, but he doesn’t reply.

Volkner flicks his glance over to the astounded Champion whose gaze is pinned on your form, and smirks.

“What is it?” you ask, oblivious, but when the music changes again, Volkner twirls you in a circle in tune to the music and on this occasion, his hand leaves your waist altogether. He steps backwards and you say, “What’s going on?”

“We’re changing partners.”

And on cue, a young woman in a pale dusty blue dress twirls towards him whilst her partner steps towards your direction.

You weren’t aware of this arrangement and your new temporary partner offers his hand; you have no choice but to participate in this group dance and the music isn’t stopping.

From this, you learn two things – firstly, the women are required to spin twice with their partners before they swap. Obviously you and Volkner joined halfway in which is why you danced for such a short time with him. Second, and that being said, Miss Galar had hogged Leon all to herself for numerous twirls.

Either way, if that was deliberate or not, perhaps they are an exclusive pair or weren’t supposed to change partners or something…you’re not sure but either way, after your third or fourth partner, you see Volkner with his current dance partner making his way up to Leon and Miss Galar and you recognize the buildup of the song that indicates it’s time to twirl and change partner once again, your current partner spins you around and you wonder who your next partner is.

It’s probably that guy with the mousy brown hair who has started to eye you up from the side – but you’re finally free as your partner lets go, slides away and someone grasps your hand gently and a grip settles on your waist; you’re twirled round and into someone’s arms but this time, your partner curls his hand around you in a rather intimate manner which neither of your previous dance partners had done before and he pulls you close and against his chest, your faces millimetres away.

Looking up, your eyes widen when you realise who it is.

“Leon!” you exclaim, your lips spreading into a wide smile.

The Champion answers you with a wink.

From the corner of your eye, you see a rather confused Miss Galar being grabbed by Volkner before he spins her into his arms.

The music starts up once more and with your hand tightly with his, Leon guides you around the dancefloor; your heart speeds up and you cannot stop smiling. His gaze never leaves you. This must be a dream, but an affectionate squeeze on your waist tells you otherwise.

Up ahead, and there is a rather wide opening within the circle of observers. Leon’s brows quirk up and he nudges his head to the opening which you spot as well. And as you turn, he expertly whisks you away from the rest of the dancers and into the crowd.

They are too busy to notice so you both slip unnoticed and Leon relinquishes his hold on your waist, your hands looped tightly together.

Away from the maddening crowd, you and Leon make your way out of the great hall and towards the large set of double doors that are now unmanned.

They lead to the garden and you both slip outside into the night, grinning widely; the Rondeland's garden is equally impressive as the great hall, with a huge stretch of grassy land filled with multicoloured flowers, lit up by lanterns strategically placed from one another to provide a dimly lit setting.

A large but impressive, neatly-trimmed hedge maze and a massive fountain stands in front of the steps where Goldeens and Seakings made out of stone leap and frolic in the air, water bubbling out from their mouths. The gurgling flow of rushing fresh water is accompanied with the vibrant buzzing of several wild bug pokemon that flutter past.

Stopping in front of the fountain, you’re panting as you both turn to each other; your eyes meet for a second time and Leon’s grin widens as you proceed to lunge towards him, pouncing onto his chest and throwing your arms around his shoulders.

He bundles you up immediately, pressing you hard against his chest as he comfortably encircles his arms around your waist and buries his nose into your neck. You laugh as his hair tickles the curve of your cheek and Leon picks you up and off the ground an inch or so to spin you around in a small circle before settling you back onto your feet.

He's grinning widely from ear to ear, looking at you up and down and soaking in the sight.

"You look lovely," he murmurs.

"Thank you," you reply shyly, your cheeks feeling warm as you reach up to fiddle with the hem of his white cravat absent-mindedly. He watches your actions with interest as you utter, "And you look very dashing tonight, sir Champion. You really suit the colour red."

Leon chuckles as you silently preen him and gently sweep away some of his long hair. You dust and brush your hands over his broad shoulders before you run your fingertips over the impressive black lining and stitches of his coat and the gold buttons.

Before you pull away, he catches your hand with his, lifting your knuckles to his lips and pressing a gentle kiss over your skin. You blush heavily in response as he nudges his head towards the garden with a smile.

"Shall we go for a walk?"

With a nod, you're both grinning widely as you loop your arms together and proceed to walk down the steps and towards the fountain.

"What if someone notices you're missing?"

The music from the grand hall is growing fainter as you stroll further into the garden with the Champion by your side but it doesn't appear to be stopping anytime soon.

Therefore, Leon shakes his head and says, "No, they'll be dancing for another hour or so."

"What if someone sees us?"

"Then I'll introduce you," he replies. "Did you find anything else about Gossamer Cave?"

"Unfortunately, no. I went to find Ezra this morning but he'd gone to work on a case."

”I was thinking,” Leon says, “you said you saw a shiny Lucario in the cave.”

”Yeah.”

”Lucario are known as the aura Pokemon. They also hold powers no ordinary humans possess. Do you think that’s what Ezra could have meant?”

You pause slightly, before turning to him with a smile. “Leon!” you utter, “what a brilliant observation.”

He blushes, cheeks growing red. “Ah, well... I wanted to help so I looked up as much information as I could find for you.”

“Thank you.”

You're halfway through the garden, venturing down the path which is lined with professionally-clipped hedges fashioned into Roselias and Roserades and you arrive at a small clearing with a pond and you leave Leon's side to hop onto a rock and despite your high heels, you carefully step over them, maintaining your balance by holding your arms out. A Goldeen and Barboach lurking within the murky depths look up at you for a split second or so before quickly zipping away from the surface to hide within some tall reeds, leaving behind shimmering ripples in the water under the moonlight.

Leon promptly comes scurrying after you with his arms out. "Be careful," he says as he grabs your hand; you neatly finish one lap and hop off and into his awaiting arms with a grin.

He gives you a lopsided smile in return and you're suddenly aware of how close you are standing together and he hasn't looked away from you.

"I missed you," you murmur.

"Me too," he replies.

He holds your gaze and you daren't look away; his honeyed eyes pinned onto your form. It's quiet now, the faint music emitting from the hall has slowly ebbed away into nothingness as you and Leon stand close and all you can hear is your beating heart. He takes one step closer and gently cups your face with one hand; he begins to lean forwards, his eyes closing.

You allow your eyes to close in anticipation of a kiss. Yet before your lips can meet, a tiny crystal blue light gently bobs its way into the little gap between you and the Champion, hovering up and down in the air playfully. It's unwarranted presence causes you both to stop as it's soon joined by other little lights of various shades, twinkling in the dark in beautiful colours of red, pink, yellow and green and as you and Leon glance around, more and more of the lights appear. In seconds, you are surrounded and illuminated by the small lights that have seemingly appeared from nowhere.

"...Aren’t these the same lights we saw in the Slumbering Weald?" Leon utters.

As you peer at the little blobs inquisitively, you nod and lift your arm with your palm out, allowing a small cluster to float over and settle in the base of your hand, illuminating the base of your chin with an iridescent, warm glow.

"They are. I wonder what they're doing here?" you reply, smiling as you prod at the orbs with a fingertip.

It sends them flying into numerous directions before they gently float backwards and towards you; they continue to swarm, bathing you and Leon with their ethereal light.

"They're attracted to you," Leon says.

”...Maybe I got it wrong, maybe they’re not just fairy lights, but...aura?” you mutter under your breath.

Whilst you ponder the true nature of the lights, Leon watches you for a brief moment before he leans forwards and presses a gentle kiss over your forehead. You stiffen slightly, as he proceeds to tuck a stray strand of hair from the side of your face to behind your ear. Your heartbeat soars, and you look up as the side of his palm brushes against your cheek.

”Leon?”

"I never told you how beautiful you looked that night," he murmurs, and you smile.

With his hand over your cheek to keep you in place, Leon brings you forwards and leans down to meet your lips in a passionate kiss.

...

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Holy Obedience | Feeding Habits Update #4

Hey People of Earth! Today we’ll be chatting chapter five of Feeding Habits, aka Holy Obedience. TW: animal cruelty, blood, suicide, toxic relationships.

This chapter is the last in Lonan’s POV and a direct continuation of chapter four. I was getting a little burned out as this was toward the end of my 10k word week a few weeks ago, but overall, it definitely achieves what I was hoping for!

Scene A:

Eliza and Lonan chat about secrets which gets intense when Eliza prompts Lonan to burn Harrison’s guardian angel necklace & a few polaroids that were taken as a small easter egg from one of the mini stories!

Lonan grabs everything out in time with minimal damage

Scene B:

Lonan finally burns down his father’s darkroom.

Scene C:

Lonan emerges from the woods and approaches the cabin. Eliza sits on the veranda tending to a dead rabbit she claims she “found”. What happened in the previous memory in ch. 4 of Lonan and his father utilizing the ikijime technique to kill the fish mirrors with the rabbit, despite it actually being dead.

Lonan and Eliza take a drive and talk about the very different lessons they each learned from Lonan’s father

Eliza hits the accelerator and drives the car into the lake. Her fate is left unspecified, whereas he gets out relatively unscathed.

Excerpts:

Here’s this very tender romantical description because I indulge myself obvi:

The last time he saw Harrison, he knew they would not see each other for a very long time after. Sun haloed him. Pinged of his eyes so they shone like gemstones. The earring he’d gifted him from his mother’s collection twirled, mindless, like the surface of a mirror ball. He didn’t forget that image—his lover a painting of the sun, an offering he was lucky to have, if only temporary. As he gurgles at the face of the fire, he doesn’t forget that feeling—the warmth not against his face, but in the pith of his throat, jittering like the wings of a hummingbird. As he shifts forward, closer to the fire, a hand secures around his shirt collar. At first, he’s convinced what he’s seeing will be the last he ever sees—the magnificence of heat. But it’s when he feels its heaviness with a clank against the stone as the clasp comes undone that he understands.

When he turns around, Eliza holds Harrison’s guardian angel in her palm. The chain noosed carelessly around the angel’s throat.

This kind of epic sequence of Lonan yeeting away the darkroom ft a subtle Houses With Teeth reference??:

Lonan will burn down the darkroom one-handed. He hustles through the rain and forest brush with the gas can, the flashlight pricked between his teeth. The woodland seems so irrelevant at night; moonlight pares through clumps of deciduous trees; rain blisters from the opaque clouds; a ground animal, perhaps a raccoon, or squirrel, scampers up a redwood and into its hollow. It’s lost its energy, replaced with irrelevant, forgettable details. But still he moves with conviction, weaving between tree trunks like he’s the one who put them there.

His second reunion with the darkroom is not something of the fantastic. He’s done his time staring at it like it’s got teeth, strong incisors that will nick him if he looks at it the wrong way. When he arrives at its pathway, rain prowling down his cheeks, his left hand wrapped hastily in the eucalyptus towel, he has not come for reconciliation.

Gasoline could substitute the Pacific, he thinks as he unscrews the bottle’s cap and lugs liquid onto nearing brush, smothering the wildflowers needling through the shed’s concrete platform. It moves the same, sounds the same, does the same thing—spreads. He leaves no square foot untouched with fuel. He douses the doorway, its shattered windows, even the individual holes in its hardwood floor. He dresses the darkroom in gasoline and doesn’t blink when he pulls his lighter from his pocket and sets it on fire.

Here’s when Lonan approaches the cabin and first sees the dead rabbit:

Lonan arrives back at the cabin a half hour later, smelling like soot and wet earth. He expects to see Eliza inside, turning over the last bits of scorched wood with the fire iron. Drinking a bottle of red wine turned to vinegar by herself, the cork neatly pushed in the centre of the hearth. But when he approaches the cabin, tracking up rain and dirt, Eliza is not inside.

She sits on the veranda, stooped over the glass worktable, her hands fumbling against the head of a rabbit. There is no question the animal is dead. It’s small, just bigger than the length of her palm, its grey fur gone cobalt with rain. Its head lolls against the frost of the glass. There is no bringing it back to life.

“Where did you find that?” Lonan asks. He wrings his hair of rainwater knowing it will get soaked again before another minute passes.

“It washed up.” She strokes its ear, examines its fur with her thumb and middle finger, as if tending to cashmere.

Lonan impales the rabbit in the same way he impaled the previous chapter’s fish and this is what happens after that. We also get a hint at why the chapter is called Holy Obedience:

“Do you do everything in the name of your father?”

“Obedience is an act of love.”

“Burning down his darkroom is not what he would’ve wanted.” Eliza pulls her arms close to her chest, gnaws on a bloody hangnail.

“That’s what I wanted.”

“Then you have two conflicting agendas.”

“Isn’t killing the rabbit what you wanted? Aren’t you vegetarian, Eliza? Aren’t those two conflicting agendas?”

Eliza taps the hilt of the knife, fully upright in the rabbit’s skull. Her lips purse. Her posture straightens. She wipes her mouth with the clean plane of her forearm. When she deescalates the veranda’s steps and walks past him, he doesn’t follow her at first. He watches her back, the way her hair flutters before sinking with the rain. How blood drips off her fingertips and onto the dirt driveway, pinkish, like the colour a child might want their wall.

And the fateful drive begins, ft. a scene I repurposed from the old ch.2:

Loam gives under the car’s wheels, sputters up onto the windows as she backs the car onto a dirt path. He does not ask where she’s going. Even as they drive deeper into the thicket of trees, branches combing the windshield, paths he’s never been, he does not ask.

“What other things did your father teach you?” she asks after some time dozing through the woods.

Eliza’s hung a lucky rabbit’s foot from the rear-view mirror, tannish fur that whitens when Lonan reaches and turns it over.

“This isn’t vegetarian,” he says, scales the foot with his fingernail, bloodying it just as the rabbit on the veranda. Its ball chain clatters with every brush of his finger, the sharp jut of its cap, neatly carved into the head of a rabbit, prickling against his finger. Rain clatters against the window, each drop’s shadow inking his jeans, arms. “Genesis. How to kill a fish. The easiest places to be caught when you run.”

Me leaving the city haha:

They parse through trees, bushes, and Lonan knows each species even without looking, and the longer she doesn’t answer, the more insistent he becomes at stating them aloud. “Red alder. Pacific dogwood. Cascara. Ponderosa pine,” he says.

Here are the final two paragraphs. Fun fact, I stole “holy vengeance” from myself which appears in one of the later chapters in Rewired.

The next time Eliza presses the accelerator, it’s with a holy vengeance. As if something guides her, her heel gorging into the pedal. They move so quickly, Lonan doesn’t know when the forest ends and where the beach starts—it all melds, a mosaic of vague landscapes. He doesn’t know when he reaches for the rabbit’s foot hanging from the mirror and holds it to his chest, like he knows what she’ll do. Even before she says, “I always wanted to be buried by cattails,” even before the car’s wheels whir over sand, driftwood, strings of kelp, even before they dive head-first into the lake, he knows.

Crashing into water sounds like rising to heaven. He doesn’t know why this is the first connection he makes, or why all he visualizes as the car sinks is the wisp of white clouds, the balmy lift of air that hikes him through the sky. Even though the water is dark, all he sees is light, crisp and glittering from above. As he ascends, he turns to look for Eliza, and there she is, slumped over the wheel, a stroke of blood dripping into her mouth. He is weightless when he stabs the cap of the rabbit’s foot into the corner of the window so it splinters. Weightless when he inhales and pushes through the broken glass like it’s Peter’s gate and he’s a step away from salvation. Weightless when he paddles through the water like a sunfish, his body ready for this, good at this, as he holds his breath. Weightless when the car sinks, and his head breaches the water like an orca, weightless when he opens his mouth to the storm and exclaims his hallelujah, his new beginning, his ultimate baptism.

That’s it for this update! I will be back sooner rather than later as I recently completed chapter six, but that’s a wrap on Lonan’s POV y’all!

--Rachel

[purplesurveys]

1195

survey by n0b0dysp3rf3ct

—:: Who ::—

... was the last person you saw face to face? I passed by my brother last night when I had to go to the kitchen to fill up my tumbler.

... was the last person you texted or messaged online? Angela; I was just asking her for the difference among A4/A5/A6 since I’m now planning to buy a binder and sleeves for my rapidly increasing collection of photocards and postcards. It really frustrates me that A4 is the biggest one and A6 the smallest :((((

... was the last person who asked you for a favour? Kata, my manager. She filed a half-day leave last Friday to get herself and her family vaccinated in her town, so she had sent me over a very long to-do list of deliverables that she asked me to fulfill while she was out. Eventually she ended up filing a whole-day leave since she felt feverish after being under the sun all day, and also possibly from side effects of the vaccine, so I ended up carrying the entire workload for the day. I like Kata and she’s a very easy person and superior to work with, so I honestly couldn’t complain about it.

... was the last person you lent something to? Ooh, I don’t remember. I don’t really lend people things.

... was the last person who told you a secret/confided in you? Andi was just sharing to me their worries about taking the LAE (scheduled for today) and how they’ll be okay if they don’t pass.

... is the tallest person you know? Jo is like 5′7″ and we all look like beans when standing next to her. One of my uncles is also very tall; around 5′10″ or 5′11″ if I’m not mistaken.

... the shortest person you know? I think Aya? That’s just a smart guess, though; I haven’t seen most of my friends in more than a year.

... your oldest (in years) friend? Mik is turning 28 this year. Sometimes I forget just how much older he is than me since we vibe really well together during the rare times we did get to hang out. I’m still bummed we never got that smoke break we wanted to have.

... is the oldest (in length of time) friend? Angela.

... is your youngest friend? Hannah was born in 2000. Peter was born in 2001 but we aren’t that close yet.

... is your newest friend? I haven’t made any new friends recently. Stan Twitter is lonelier than I thought it would be; everyone is already friends with everyone so it’s hard to break that space. Not to mention everyone is also grossly younger than I am – I keep seeing profiles with ‘2004′ on their bio :/ I should start making an effort to look for older ARMYs lol, I definitely feel like I’d have more fun that way.

... is your closest relative? My eldest cousin on my mom’s side, my Kuya.

... was your favourite teacher? My music teacher from high school. I neeeeeever liked music as a subject and it was never a priority of mine, but she always kept our classes something for me to look forward with her advice and the way she was always able to make lessons interesting.

... was your least favourite teacher? Those who made it clear they didn’t like me, even though I didn’t do anything to deserve such hostility.

... did you spend the most time with when growing up? My siblings and cousins since we all lived together at one point.

... knows you the best? My two best friends.

... always beats you in games or sports? Andi would probably be able to beat me in any game. They just let me win because they know I can be a sore loser.

... who is the most creative of the people you know? My family is pretty artistic and I have a lot of talented relatives - my sister and my cousin Maggie paint and draw; my mom can make any kind of craft she wants, with her hnds; and one of my grand-aunts regularly does paintings. I think all of them are amazingly creative in their own way.

... is the funniest person you know? Probably Andi. Hans makes me crack up too.

... is the most organised that you know? My mom.

... that you know has travelled the most? My dad. Both our fridge doors are filled from top to bottom with magnets from places he’s travelled in due to his line of work. He’s toned down quite a bit in the last few years and has taken to staying within Asia, but back then his traveling history was super expansive – Germany, Jamaica, Italy, Belize, Aruba, Italy, France, Monaco, Denmark, Norway, the UK, US, Estonia, Portugal, etc.

... has always been there for you? Angela never left my side.

... has given you the most personal gift? I can’t possibly pick, my friends are pretty good at giving me gifts...like Andi getting me a Petals For Armor CD and a Punk shirt that hasn’t been produced in a while, and Angela giving me a personalized Friends mug because she knows I like my coffee and she knows I like Friends.

... has an annoying laugh? I don’t think anyone I know has an annoying laugh.

... never forgets a birthday? That would be me.

... do you live with? My parents, my two siblings, and our two dogs.

...,do you have the most in common with? I’m not so sure about this one, actually. I share bits of my personality with a lot of people - like me and Jo liking BTS, me and Andi liking wrestling, Blanch and I having similar personalities, me and Laurice being super meticulous when it comes to our work, etc. - but I haven’t met anyone who’s virtually a duplicate of mine when it comes to my traits and interests.

...is the sportiest person you know? I’m also not sure. Most people I know are into watching a bunch of sports, but none of them actually play.

...was your last missed call? It was an unknown number that I kept ignoring because THEY WOULDN’T TEXT WHO THEY WERE. If you have enough load credits to call me multiple times, then surely you can text me and introduce yourself first, and maybe then I can pick up the phone.

...did you last open your door for? My sister knocked last Friday because someone wanted to talk to me via landline. It was weird since no one calls via the phone anymore, but I have a gut feeling it was that ^ same person who had been trying to call me through my phone but never texted me. Eventually I learned it was one of the bloggers I’m talking to for work who just wanted to ask a few questions about our ongoing engagement.

... has your heart? Kim Taehyung. Expect the same answer for this type of question moving forward.

... has your respect? I gotta hand it to Tina for consistently doing well in her studies and excelling in every subject while doing photo and video editing for two orgs, working on her thesis, and being a board member in our mutual org, all while living alone. She does so well I wish I can tell her to give herself the occasional break to avoid burnout.

...do you share a special song with? I don’t think I have that with anyone.

...do you miss right now? Literally allllllll my friends.

...last made you angry? It’s been a while since I’ve directed my anger towards another person. When I get pissed off these days it’s usually over a situation that goes awry or out of my control.

...did you last buy a gift for? So this was not technically meant to be a gift, but what happened was I accidentally secured two orders of the same poster set, which was a part of this new BTS photobook coming out later this month, from two different shops. One of the shops merely posted an ‘interest check’ for the poster set so I signed up for it thinking it was harmless, but when they got back to me they already attached an invoice :/ I ended up having to pay for it just so things won’t get complicated between myself and the shop anymore; and I told Angela she can just keep the extra set I bought and that she can consider it a gift.

...did you celebrate your last birthday with? My family and technically my workmates since I didn’t file a leave that day. I also had food delivered to their house so I guess that can count as my ‘celebration’ with them.

...have you gone to a concert with? I went with Angela for my first Paramore show.

...can make you laugh? Anyone can tbh. It’s not very hard to make me laugh.

...has taught you how to do something? Nina taught me how to embroider and do basic needle/thread skills back when I was still getting into the hobby.

...has lost something of yours? I am almost certain my ex never kept the handwritten letters I used to write her. She never seemed to remember or bring up the things I wrote.

...has broke your heart? Gabie but I’m over it.

...has stood you up? Hasn’t happened to me before.

:: What ::

Is your favourite colour? Pastel pink.

Can you do that most your friends can’t? Type fast, apparently.

Is your birthday? April 21.

Colour eyes do you have? Dark brown/black.

Form of transport do you take to work/school? I work from home. But under normal circumstances I would drive my car.

Music do you like to listen to in the car? I connect my Spotify to the car’s Bluetooth and listen to whatever artist or playlist I’m into at the moment. The music I put on could also depend on my current mood for the day.

Languages can you speak? Filipino and English. I’ve also been able to pick up looooots of Korean phrases and expressions because of the amount of content I watch. I’m nowhere near fluent, of course, but I’m increasingly able to pick up what people say based off a few Korean words I’ll hear in a sentence.

Was the last thing you drank? Continued from idk. I finished off my glass of water from dinner.

Was the last thing you ate? My mom made pasta.

Time did you wake up this morning? Depends on how late I slept the night before and how tired I was, but it usually ranges between 5:45–7:30 AM.

Colour are your bedroom walls? They’re white.

Drink do you usually order when eating out? I never order drinks unless I’m at La Creperie, in which case I always get their San Gines hot chocolate; for everywhere else that isn’t a bar, I just get water.

Food can you cook well? ...I can’t cook.

Animals have you had for a pet? Dogs, rabbit, lovebirds, goldfish, and technically a cat but she was mostly Nina’s.

Are your initials? RC.

Kind of activities do you like to do on the weekends? I’m still kind of stuck at home during the weekends :/ so I can’t do much, but I’m not complaining since I actually prefer staying in these days. Anyway, most recently I’ve taken to catching up on BTS content I’ve missed over the last 8 years, so I like watching shows they’ve done like Bon Voyage, Run BTS, etc.

Movie do you know line by line? Two for the Road, TITANIC, and probably most of White Chicks.

Band(s) have you seen in concert? Paramore, One Direction, a bunch of local bands.

Do you buy/get to treat yourself? It’s usually food - I like giving myself a feast every Friday night - but I’m putting that in the backseat for now as I’ve realigned my money to be spent on BTS merch. My big purchases are saved for the albums for now, but every now and then I’ll see a postcard or photocard I like and buy them. Once I complete the albums I’ll be moving on to the concert DVDs, then the special packages, then probably BT21 plushies. Needless to say I have a longggggg way to go haha.

Colours your phone cover? I have a clear case.

Part of the world would you love to visit? Another continent would be nice.

Question do you dislike being asked? Even though I know people mean well, I don’t like being asked “How are you?” but tbh it’s more of a me thing because I just never really know what to say.

Subject were you good at in school? History.

Careers do your parents have? They both work in the hospitality industry.

Brand of clothing do you buy most often? For clothes clothes I’m not really loyal to a particular brand; I buy from different brands and shops all the time. But for shoes, I like sticking to Nikes.

Chocolate bar is your favourite? Not a big fan of chocolate bars. I love Reese’s Cups, though.

TV show have you watched every series of? Friends, Perfect Strangers, Breaking Bad.

Radio station do you listen to the most? It’s a little hard to tell at this point considering I haven’t driven regularly in over a year. But back when I used to do it, I usually flipped among 93.1, 99.5, and 87.5.

Podcasts are you subscribed to? I’m not the biggest fan of podcasts. Find them a tad bit boring.

Is your favourite dessert? Macarons or cheesecake.

Can’t you do that most around you seem to? Ride a bike.

Are 5 qualities you value in a friend? Loyalty, thoughtfulness, honest, sensitive to my needs and those of others, and intelligent.

Are 5 qualities you value in a partner? ^ Pretty much the same thing.

Size pizza do you usually order? Family size usually.

Cuisine do you like to order or cook? I’ve been getting Japanese so many times recently. I rarely go outside sushi.

Colour(s) dominate your wardrobe? Black and white, and colors that were in at one point like mustard yellow and pastel pink.

Toothpaste brand do you use? Colgate.

Sounds can you hear right now? My insanely loud aircon.

Is the weather like today? Like hell. I believe we’re reaching a heat index of over 50ºC every day now, so...that’s fun. It gets absolutely difficult to work in the afternoon when the temperature is at its most brutal, and its times like this I wish I got to work in the office so that there’s aircon and I could at least work comfortably :/

Are your plans for tomorrow? Just work and have tons of meetings, the usual.

:: Where ::

Do you keep your phone when not using it? I keep my phone near me even when I’m not using it since I could always get an important notification.

Were you born? Manila.

Do you go to unwind? Most days it would be the rooftop, but under normal circumstances I like staying at a coffee shop somewhere to escape life and my responsibilities for a short while.

Is your best friend right now? I believe they’re both at home since they have no reason to be out anyway.

Can you go nearby to have a good time? Personally, I would just go to the Starbucks near our village lol. If I’m feeling a bit more adventurous I’d head to Katip, which is prrrretty close by but not quite.

Is the nearest restaurant? We have a McDonald’s literally right beside the village. Then besides that is a Shakey’s, and right across that is a Burger King, then the aforementioned neaby Starbucks. Just makes me realize how urbanized my town has gotten in the last few years.

Is the nearest beach? If I had to guess, the nearest beaches would be in Batangas which is 2-3 hours away, but it really depends on how fast you can drive lol. I’m not too good with long car rides so in both times I’ve driven there I had always taken 4 hours.

Did you meet your closest friend? I met Angela in grade school, and I met Andi at a local rally in my university.

Did you go for your last vacation? Tagaytay, though it was a staycation more than anything else.

Is the nearest mall or superstore? It’s like a 3-minute drive away from the village.

Did you last get an injury? I have loadsssssss of new scratches and gashes all around my wrists from playing with Cooper.

Is the most extravagant place you’ve stayed at? It’s a toss-up between Aids’ or Gian’s house. Gian would probably win since I never actually got to go inside Aids’ place, and his was the first house I’ve been to that was able to literally take my breath away. OH and Shaun’s house was pretty fucking swanky as well.

Do most the local kids play? I would have no idea since I’m neither a kid nor a parent.

Have you been with your family? This is a very vague question lol...what do you mean where have we been? We’ve been to different towns around the country and several countries together, if that’s what you’ve been asking.

Did you spend Christmas last year? We visited a couple of relatives, and we also spent it at home.

Did your parents grow up? My mom grew up within Metro Manila; my dad in a city a little outside of it.

Did you buy the shoes you’re wearing? I’m barefoot at the moment and always am at home.

Would you like to go right now if you could? If life had still been normal I would probably be having after-work drinks at a bar near the office.

Do you miss the most from your childhood? I’m not sure how to answer this with where.

Is the best restaurant you know? I’m still searching for it.

Will you never go again as it was so bad? It’s not that it was bad, but I’d probably never dine at 8Cuts again because their burgers are not worth the hype and are very overpriced for their size.

:: When ::

...was your last vacation? My family’s last legit vacation was in August 2019; but we did have a quick escape to Tagaytay in January of this year.

...did you graduate? I officially ‘graduated’ from college in August, if you could even call it that.

...did you decide what career you wanted? Somewhere between my 2nd and 3rd year of college. That was when I decided I hated journalism and preferred PR, but since PR is under journalism’s umbrella there was no need for me to shift courses.

...did you have your first kiss? Continued. Like WHEN when or how old was I when? In any case, it was in January 2015 and I ws 16.

...did you learn how to swim? Idk, pretty early on. My parents liked taking us to water parks when we were younger, so we had a lot of exposure. I’m not sure if there was ever a time where something just clicked and I learned how to swim; I believe it had just come naturally.

...did you have your first relationship? By the end of 2014.

...did you meet your best friend? I met both of them in school, but at different points.

...do you feel the most at peace? Probably when I’m able to stay at the rooftop all alone.

...do you usually fall asleep? I’ve readjusted my body clock now (I used to want to be in bed by 9 or 10 PM, lmao) and I stay up until anywhere between 12-2 AM on weekdays.

...do you usually wake up? Ranges between 6-7:30 AM.

...did you last watch a movie? September.

...did you last go to a party? Around Februaryish, 2020.

...did you last cry? I can’t really recall. The last moment I can remember was crying over Life Goes On sometime last month, when I heard it for the first time. I’m just not sure if that’s accurate or when exactly in April that happened.

...did you laugh really hard? I always have a good laugh at least once a day.

...did you buy something pricey last? Idk what you would count as pricey but I bought the new BTS photobook set when it dropped back in April. Cost me around ₱3750. I wasn’t able to buy from the first press (it sold out in like 7 minutes lol) which included an exclusive poster set, so I had to look for a local shop that was already offering the poster set separately, and ended up shelling out another ₱2200 for it...which means all in all I spent around ₱5950 for it or roughly $125.

...did you have an argument last? Earlier this evening but I don’t want to get into it as it made me cry from sadness and frustration for the first time in months.

...did you last have a sick day? May last year.

...did you last recieve a hug? I have no idea. February, I think? when I hung out with my friends.

...when is your best friend’s birthday? July 22 or September 15, depends on which best friend.

...did you learn how to drive? I started getting lessons when I was 17, but I didn’t start feeling comfortable with it until I turned 18.

...did you last receive a surprise? Around a couple of weeks ago when my dad came home with Jollibee for us.

:: How ::

Many pets do you have? Two.

Many houses have you lived in? Three that I can remember, but I know my parents moved around a bit when I was a newborn.

Often do you shower? Every morning before my shift. I hate feeling sweaty and icky when I report for work.

Well can you cook? I can’t at all.

Many close friends do you have? I have two people I count as my absolute best friends, but I have a handful of close friends as well.

Many Brothers or sisters do you have? One of each.

Often do you go swimming? I don’t swim much at all, really...I haven’t done it since 2019, so that should say enough. As relaxing as it is, I feel like the clean-up afterwards can be such a challenge lol. Like if you swim in a pool you have to rigorously wash the chlorine off of you; and if you swim in the sea you have to also be thorough about making sure you’ve removed all the sand from your body.

Many times have you texted today? I don’t think I texted today but I did spend my whole day on chat platforms.

Do you like your toast (colour, topping)? I don’t have super particular preferences; I just like mine on the burnt side.

Do you like your tea and/or coffee? My coffee has to be sweet for me to enjoy it. I can take black coffee/Americano; I’ll just wince a lot with every sip. No tea for me thanks.

Do you like to celebrate your birthdays? With a lot of food.

Are you feeling today? A little frustrated because of an argument incident this evening. But I’m shaking it off and just focusing on the release of Butter tomorrow. My first BTS comeback!!!

Serious are you about your career goals? Very.

Many rooms are in your house? In total, 9.

Many bedrooms in your house? 4.

Did you do in your school exams? I was never consistent. I slacked off a looooooot in grade school; couldn’t give less of a shit about my classes then. I got a bit more hardworking in high school, but I still was a bit lax and I allowed myself to not put a lot of effort in subjects I didn’t care a lot for and that I know I would never have to use in real life, like chemistry or accounting, so there were exams I really excelled in and others that I would fail. It was only in college I started taking my studies incredibly seriously and I believe that showed in the grades I eventually got.

Close do you live to your parents? They’re like, five steps away.

Close do you live to your siblings? My sister’s literally in the room next to mine.

Sensitive to criticism are you? I know it’s something that can never be avoided, so I’m always open to hearing them, especially if it’s meant to help me. It doesn’t mean I enjoy it as it is being given.

Motivated to make changes are you? Depends on my mood and mindset. 

Creative are you (1-10): -0.5.

Hard working are you (1-10): Probably a 22 if I really put my head into a task.

Sporty are you (1-10): I dunno, maybe a 6? I do like playing table tennis, but I’m pretty meh at any other sport.

Musical are you (1-10): 0.

Do you prefer your eggs? Runny yolk; scrambled; or a really packed omelette.

Often do you go out to eat? Before the pandemic, I liked eating out 2-3 times a week.

Would your best friend describe you? Not sure, I never tried asking them this. I hope it’s all nice things, though.

Can someone cheer you up if you’re sad? Send me photos of V. Hahahaha

Often do you meet up with your friends? ...What do you think? D:

Important is religion to you? It is not a part of my life whatsoever.

Old were you when you first stayed overnight from home? 15 or 16, I can’t really remember.

Old were you when you got your first pet? I was maybe 6.

Tech savvy are you? I know enough to survive my own, but I obviously can’t hack into other computers or things like that.

Do you show you appreciate those you care for? Buying them food.

Often do you cut your hair? I only take a trip to the salon once a year.

Often do you paint your nails? Never.

Many countries have you visited? Six.

Boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? Just one.

:: Why ::

... did you choose your username? Because it was straightforward.

... did you take this survey? I like surveys made in categories, and this seemed interesting and varied enough.

... did you choose the career you did? I found that I enjoyed it MILES more than journalism.

...did you last leave the house? I had to go to a local LBC for a work errand.

...did you last give up on something? She wasn’t worth the effort anymore. She hadn’t been for a while, but it took me forever to realize.

...did you search the last thing you searched? I wanted to sing along to the song but it was in Japanese, so I had to look up its lyrics.

...would you give up on someone completely? Oof, I guess you can refer to one of the previous questions. ^

:: If...::

You could live in any country which would you choose? Canada.

You could choose any animal as a pet which one? I’m perfectly content with dogs.

You could be famous for something what would you like? Being known for a funny tweet would probably be enough lol. I have no desire to be famous.

You are sad, how do you combat it? I don’t really get sad anymore these days, so I can’t super remember the go-to tactics I depend on...I guess I like listening to sad songs and allowing myself to wallow in the sadness, because I know I have to accept and process my feelings first before I can be able to calm down.  

You can drive when did you learn? I learned shortly before I started college, when I was 18, because no one was going to be able to take me to university when the school year started.

You could have any job what would it be? Idk, I like the one I have now.

You could go anywhere for a vacation where would you go? Somewhere with a completely different feel and atmosphere, like Norway, Sweden, Finland...that part of Europe, basically.

You could eat anything right now what would it be? Samgak gimbap :/

You wrote a book what genre/topic would it be? It would be a book of essays or maybe a memoir.

You had a theme song what would it be? Idk I don’t really think about this.

You could meet any band/singer in person which one? Billie Eilish seems awesome and easy and fun to talk to.

You could act in any movie which would it be? No thanks.

You get married what venue would you like? Hotel.

If you have kids do you have names picked out? I have one name picked out for a girl but that’s it.

Could describe your dream home what would it be like? Brutalist and minimalist, with large windows, cove lights, and a lot of white space.

You could go back in time what would you change? Break up with Gab earlier.

Could use 3 words to describe your childhood which ones? Could’ve been better.

Could get the answer to any question which question would you choose? When I would die and how, just so I can have peace of mind.

You could have an endless supply of something what would it be? Money, because of course.

Meet anyone who no longer lives who’d you choose? My great-grandfather, mom’s side.

:: Can ::

... you ride a bike? No, never learned.

... you ski? I’ve never even seen snow, so no.

... you bake a cake? I can try but it will probably be very clumsily made as I don’t bake.

... you sing well? I wouldn’t say that. I like singing when I’m alone, but it doesn’t mean I’m any good.

... you do your own taxes? I’ve never tried haha so I guess not.

... you remain calm in a crisis? Depends on how serious it is.

... you do first aid? Let’s just say I wouldn’t volunteer if it comes down to it because I feel like I’d commit one fatal mistake that would make the situation graver. 

... remember your best friend’s family members’ names? Both of their families, yes.

... you fire a gun? I’ve never tried so I doubt it.

... your parents drive? Yep.

...your best friend dance well? They’re not ‘dancers’ per se but sure, they can bust out a move or two.

...you make people laugh easily? Not everyone, but sure.

...stand up for yourself? That’s what I’m trying to learn these days.

...you do a martial art? No.

:: Would ::

You like to learn a new language? That’s always a welcome opportunity.

Save the life of a stray animal? Absolutely.

Know what to do if there was a hurricane? We have several ones come in the country every year so yeah, I can definitely say we’ve long been well-prepared for them.

Try a new cuisine? I do this as often as I can.

Risk your life for anyone? Yes.

You like to get back in touch with someone? No, I’m good now.

You drive in the middle of the night to get a stuck friend? Ina heartbeat.

You Know how to perform CPR? In relation to the first aid question, I wouldn’t volunteer myself in case I make a wrong move.

You likely win in a game of chess? I don’t even know how it works, so no.

You stop talking for a day for $100? Easily.

[diaryofanormalkid]

Ya girl FINALLY got her g2 license!

I literally have been waiting/preparing so long for this! Bc I was supposed to do it like 2 different times last year but just ended up having to changes dates bc of covid restrictions/lockdown and locations.

The first time, it had to do with an issue of location I believe or something? It was my driving instructors fault bc they told us we should be booking in one location instead of the first choice.

The real fault was them making us fend for ourselves [my siblings and I] when booking our road tests. So we only had two more chances at changing our road tests dates before we have to wait 6 months, right?

That’s like a rule for some reason, not really sure why when there could be multiple reasons somebody has to change road tests dates. But anyways, so we had two chances left!

So that first road test ended up getting changed from November 12th, 2020 all the way to December 29th, 2020. So I was extremely upset at my driving instructors bc I didn’t want my lessons to go in vain.

I ended up having to space out my driving lessons so that I would have some practice in between taking my lessons and actually doing the test. But... THEN THE FRICKING SECOND LOCKDOWN HAPPENED.

In Ontario, literally the lockdown happened 3 [THREE, YES I AM YELLING THE NUMBER] days before my road test date. So it was December 26th when they shut down EVERYTHING.

And I was so pissed because that meant all road tests were going to get cancelled and we would have to reschedule yet again. Soooo at this point I was a little panicked bc it would be my 3rd and last time.

Remember how I said there is only 3 chances to reschedule a road test and then you have to wait another 6 months before you can reschedule again? Well it wasn’t looking too promising for me.

Because not only did I have to wait and keep checking until the site spit up available dates to book the road (there was none because all road tests were cancelled), this was going to be the deal breaker!

So I finally after months of checking and waiting got to pick a date for July 16th, 2021, which is today (duh)! And I said this is like make or break bc if I don’t pass I have to wait 6 MONTHS AGAIN!

I put a lot of pressure on myself to really do my best to prepare mentally and physically for this road test because I definitely did not want to redo it again! So I was genuinely just so nervous up until this point!

And another factor, I was paranoid that this staging system for the lockdown wouldn’t lift to stage 2-3 in time for my last two driving lessons, because I still had two remaining to kind of refresh my memory.

So it ended up working out perfectly so that I could arrange two driving lessons within two weeks of my road test so I could practice in time! It worked out amazingly.

My shifts and schedule ended up lining up perfectly so that I could not only do those last two driving lessons, but practice many times with my mom and brother! They were such a big help!

I can’t thank them enough bc they really dedicated so much time to making sure I did things correctly and to the standards of how the driving instructors would evaluate.

My mom took me extra early today to the road test location. I actually ended up driving like 80% of the way, which btw is a super far location because I think we got there after and hour and a half?

It was a good drive, I was comfortable. My concerns when we got there (because we got there 2 hours early) mostly was to get familiar with the roads and speed limits quickly and practice parking!

So my parallel parking and reverse parking were my biggest trouble spots. I ended up going over those a lot right before the test. It was super tedious and frustrating because it was hit or miss mostly.

But I ended off on a good note and decided to end it around 10:50-ish so I could get checked in early since my road test was at 11:30. I chose a parking space and was waiting for a looooong time.

The whole time, I’m sweating and nervous with sweaty palms and I started needing to use the washroom and it was just a mess of a time waiting so long for them. I believe I finally started at 12:30-ish?

So when I started, she seemed pretty decent for an instructor and I tried my best not to look nervous but I had to use the bathroom sooo bad I just kept thinking I hope finishes quickly.

It was seriously the shortest test ever though, and I literally don’t think I messed up anything majorly at alll. I felt confident, and by the end of it she told me to finish off with reverse parking.

I was super glad I had practiced all that reverse parking earlier, however it all came down to if I was in the lines or not. So I took my time looking back and in my mirrors and ended off getting inside!

It was funny bc I was inside and not too close to either side, but I was crooked, and I told myself I don’t even want to correct it bc I don’t think I can get myself any straighter than this since I’m already in.

So I called it a day there and just said, I’m in so she can’t tell me I didn’t get inside properly. I was proud of myself bc I did my reverse parking on the first try and without having to correct myself!

At the end of it, she was very brief and short with me but she said I could go back inside to hand in my ticket number and license so that I could collect my license, and that’s how I knew I passed.

It was underwhelming to say the least because she didn’t really make it clear that I passed. She just walked off after. But I was so relieved, it’s like I could feel allll the anxiety release from me immediately!

My mom was so happy for me and immediately praised Jesus! As for myself, I just knew when I got home I had to thank God and then possibly cry bc this is a biiiig milestone for myself specifically!

I was super relieved just because I wouldn’t have to come back! I underwent far too much stress this first time and didn’t want to do it again, so I am just grateful to God!

I also couldn’t be happier that the day that I got my g2 was the day the lockdown was lifted from stage 2 to stage 3! So more places are opening and it was just a perfect time ‼️

[javierpenaspinkshirt]

Dear Diary

Javi x Diarist - One Shot

Warnings: brief mention of some NSFW activities, mentions of tight jeans, some Carrillo thirst because I’m only human.

Words: 2.7k.

Summary: writing in her diary, the Diarist documents her first few weeks at her new job and her first encounters of Javi.

Day one - Monday

Dear Diary,

Today was the first day of my new job! Mom said I should keep a diary so I can look back when I’ve been in the job awhile and see how much I’ve progressed. To be honest with you, Diary, I feel a bit daft writing in you… but hey ho! Maybe you’ll be fun to look back on?

Anyway! Today was the first day of my new life in Bogotá! I’m a secretary for the DEA at the American Embassy in the city – the building is a bit posh! The university isn’t too far away so I can easily get to my evening classes (studying History with Spanish) and even though I’m classed as a ‘mature’ student (mature! HAH!) I’m hoping I’ll make friends both at class and at work… maybe someone with a car so they can drive me, teehee!

It’s a group of five girls working as secretaries for the DEA. We have a good age range and I sit sort of in the middle of the group age-wise I think. They’re all really lovely, there’s two other Americans and two Colombians so a cool culture mix. Hopefully they all like me!

I didn’t do much work today, just shadowing the others and walking round to meet everyone. The agents all seem to keep to themselves. There’s two Americans down the hall from my desk – I didn’t catch their names (whoops) but apparently they’re the two I’ll spend the most time working with. I should introduce myself properly tomorrow.

I’m looking forward to my first Tuesday on the job!

Day two - Tuesday

Dear Diary,

Today was day two. It was good, there’s a lot of information to learn and it’s especially difficult to flick between English and Spanish in my brain… But I guess I’m new to all this and I’ll get the hang of it! One of the other secretaries – Erica – has promised to speak to me mostly in Spanish so I can get into the habit of speaking like a local, I thought that was sweet of her!

But that wasn’t the most interesting thing to happen today, Diary, oh no no! Today I met Javier and Steve. They’re the two Americans I’ll be working for mostly. Steve is nice, barely speaks any Spanish which I can tell frustrates him and Javier, but just like me he’ll get there! I think I might end up his interpreter… but he seems kind and he is really into the job! He’s got a wife and they haven’t lived in Bogotá all that long either so we have that in common! Well… the being new here… not the wife bit(!)

And then there’s Javier, who all the other secretaries call Javi… so I guess I will too. I can tell he’s going to be trouble. He came up to my desk after lunch just to tell me that he liked my blouse and that the color suited me! I have to admit he is very handsome… But he strikes me as the ‘would ruin your life for a shag’ type? That might be harsh and he does seem nice. The others all say he’s lovely and is a man you can depend on but he is a dreadful flirt!

I wish I’d had something smart to say back to him as he stood in front of my desk telling me he liked my blouse but honestly, Diary, I think I just whimpered?? I was so taken aback by it! If there’s a next time I’ll have to be smarter!

Day 3 - Wednesday

Dear Diary,

This morning Javi bought me a coffee and brought it to my desk. He actually apologised for trying to flirt with me yesterday! He was very sweet actually. He said he wanted to make sure we got off on the right foot so wanted to apologise if he made me uncomfortable! I told him he didn’t I was just surprised he would even notice me! He was very sweet and said something like ‘I’d have to be blind not to notice you’… wait was he flirting with me again??

Diary, I am going to have to get better at this!

Day 4 - Thursday

Dear Diary,

I think we have a situation. I think I might have a teeny little crush on Javi. I mean, I am certainly not the only one! All the girls seem to melt slightly when he talks to them… Except Coleen actually… somehow she’s immune to his charms… Maybe she’ll teach me?

I caught myself actually waiting for him to come over to me today because I was looking forward to chatting to him. He always seems to make time to chat to us all and sees us as actual people… a lot more than most of the other staff.

He does wear some insanely tight jeans though. It's like it's 1985 and he thinks he's Axl Rose! But Javi does look good in them... like really good… Oh dear… I think I fancy a government agent. Who have I become??

Day 5 - Friday

Dear Diary,

That was my first week! Done and dusted! I think it was good! Everyone has been so kind and supportive and Erica has even invited me out for drinks tomorrow night with some of her friends! I cant wait!

School is going well too, I had my first classes this week and I think I’m going to be okay! The subject material isn’t going to be easy, but we like a challenge don’t we, Diary?

Now back to the important stuff – Javi’s outfit of the day. I was sat at my desk making some phone calls when Javi walks passed in a pair of those damn jeans and a red shirt. He caught my eye as he walked passed and gave me a smile and – I shit you not – my brain kicked in to gear and I said:

‘Nice shirt, the colour suits you’ and I was so cool and casual with a little smirk on my face, Diary I have never played anything so cool in my life. I got a chuckle from him and a wink and I swear down I would have taken my panties off right then and there.

Diary, my mom can never read you.

Day 6 - Saturday

Dear Diary,

It’s pretty late as a write this but that’s because I’ve been out with Erica and her friends! A couple of the other girls from work joined us as well so it was a lot of fun! We just went to a bar and had a few drinks and a giggle.

Erica did tell me she noticed me “making eyes” at Javi in the week though and I must’ve turned as red as the strawberry daiquiri I was drinking because she laughed at me. She told me he is, to quote her, ‘a bit of a slut’ and that most of the girls in the city know him in the biblical sense... I don’t think that put me off? I mean it’s the 80’s, do we still shame people for having sex? And to be fair, here I am making heart eyes at a man I’ve known for a matter of days. So no, Diary, I don’t judge him for that.

But I also don’t think I’m going to pursue him? I’m certainly not looking for a boyfriend. Although as I write this down I kind of figure he’s not after a commitment either? I mean I don’t know him that well but what kind of man shamelessly flirts with the new secretary on her first day if he isn’t looking for some fun? Maybe that’s what I’m looking for?

Diary, no more daiquiris for me!

Day 7 – Sunday

Dear Diary,

I went shopping today. Not the boring food type of shopping, clothes shopping! It was a lot of fun actually! I got to explore the city a bit and although it has a reputation (and my mom would kill me if she knew) I actually felt fine walking around on my own! I was in the busy shopping streets mind and it was daylight, but I really think this city could feel like home!

I bought a couple of pairs of jeans because mine are old and raggedy and I got some new shirts and tops for work, but the buy of the day – a pencil skirt that makes my butt look like I’ve done a 100 squats a day since the day I was born. I mean, not to blow my own horn, but I look GOOD in it!

I’m going to wear it to work one day… And yes Diary, I know I might be playing with fire, but a little fun never hurt anyone?

Day 8 - Monday

Dear Diary,

I wore the skirt.

Oh my! The girls all gave me compliments on my ass and legs (which lets be honest is better than any compliment from any man!) so that was great!

I’ll be honest though, by the end of the day I wanted to rip it off myself… I had severely underestimated how difficult sitting in a pencil skirt for 8 hours would be. Lesson learned!

I did see Javi though. He didn’t say anything but I was stood up as he walked passed and his eyes were stuck on me for so long Steve had to practically drag him up the stairs. Diary, I was very pleased with myself!

Day 9 - Tuesday

Dear Diary,

I don’t know what it is about the American Embassy but somehow the building attracts the most beautiful men.

Today, Diary, I met Colonel Horacio Carrillo and believe me I have never seen such a MAN! He must be 90% shoulder and 10% snark because Diary he is built like a wall and has a mouth sharp enough to even shut up Javier Peña! Not that I was listening in, I was collecting some papers in their office as the Colonel was talking to Javi and Steve.

Steve introduced me to the Colonel and he shook my hand (Diary, his hand was the SIZE OF MY HEAD)… he was wearing a wedding ring though. I’m no home wrecker… but my god is he beautiful!

I did catch Javi’s eye before I left their office though and I’m sure I’m not making it up when I say there was a flash of jealousy. I thought I was being crazy and arrogant to think that but no, I’m sure! The Colonel was very polite to me, very courteous, and were he not a married man I would have wished I was wearing my new skirt again. Diary, I can not stress enough the thickness of this man’s arms.

Anyway, despite definitely having the hots for the Colonel, I think I’d still rather go out with Javi. If we put the whole Carrillo-is-married thing aside, I just think Javi is more my kind of guy? Up for a laugh, not too serious, likes a drink and likes a smoke... very pretty!

I think we’d have a lot of fun if we went out. I’m beginning to wonder if he thinks the same?

Day 10 - Wednesday

Dear Diary,

Today the five of us girls went out for lunch. It was great! They showed me their favourite café, great for people watching but far enough from the embassy that we weren’t just looking at officials in suits! Great food too, I really do love this city!

I was sat with Coleen at lunch and she told me Javi had caught her after I’d left work for class and asked her about me. Apparently he asked if I was single!! Coleen told him she didn’t know because she didn’t want to drop me in it if I wasn’t interested in him (bless you, Coleen!) but I definitely am interested! Diary, when she told me he’d asked about me my heart raced! Like I’m some kind of school girl!

I really do like him and I’d like to get to know him better. But I think I’ll give it some more time maybe?

Day 11 - Thursday

Dear Diary,

I spent the whole day look at Javier Peña and his black fucking shirt. Oh my god, Diary! I am in too deep. He walked passed my desk while I was on the phone today and I stopped listening completely so I could concentrate on his butt.

It is becoming a problem.

So I have resolved to do something about it. I have decided that I’m going to ask him out for a drink tomorrow night after work. Fingers crossed for me!

Day 12 - Friday

Dear Diary,

Well… it’s sort of actually Saturday… I didn’t have time to write in you yesterday, Diary because… well because I didn’t come home last night (!)

Let me explain the events of last night:

When I got to work yesterday morning Javi was sat at my desk. He was wearing that damn leather jacket that, for no reason at all other than its his, I find incredibly sexy and was waiting for me. He said good morning to me then got up to let me sit down.

He watched me as I took stuff out of my bag and settled in before, seemingly out of nowhere, he asked me if I wanted to go for a drink with him after work!

Diary, I was so uncool. I was like one of those nodding dogs people have in their car or on their desk.

He laughed and said he’d come by my desk to get me when we were done. I spent the entire day obsessing about whether it was a date or just a friendly drink? Erica was sure it was a date, so sure in fact she made me borrow her red lipstick and made me promise to wear it.

I did wear it. And was I glad I did!

He complimented me on it when he came by my desk to get me. As we left the building he put his arm out for me and we linked arms and walked down the street and Diary it was the easiest, loveliest conversation I’ve ever had! He made me feel so at ease straight away, it was sort of like I’d known him for ages?

We actually ended up at the same bar I’d been to the weekend before… so I was back on the daiquiris!

We talked for ages, right up until closing but it was still like there was so much more to say! When we eventually got turfed out of the bar we ended up walking the streets, arm in arm again, laughing and chatting. Diary, it was lovely!

Turns out he only lives a few blocks away from my place but his is closer to the bar. We stopped at his door and he invited me up. I’ll be honest, I hesitated… but I was wearing his leather jacket (he’d let me wear it for the walk home) and he’d been such a gentleman, well I couldn’t resist the smile on his face!

So I ended up sat on his sofa as he told me about work and fixed me a whiskey… I don’t know what possessed me but when he came over to give me my glass I stood up and kissed him!

Diary, you know me, I’ve never been particularly forward! I blame those daiquiris… but oh no, it didn’t end at a kiss.

Before I knew it we were pulling each other's clothes off (I didn't even mind that he ripped one of my new tops)! I don't know if it's because he's well practised or he's just one of those guys that knows what he's doing... but lord did he know what he was doing!

Before I knew it he had me on my back on his sofa, screaming his name and Diary… well what can I say… I’ve had to write this all down quickly because I’ve just come home to shower and get a change of clothes before he comes to pick me up. That’s right, we’re going out again tonight!!

Diary, don’t wait up!

[tarithenurse]

Girl Power Challenge

Pairing: Thor x fem!reader Content: Heavy on the tropes (haters to lovers, denial); mission; cursing; sass; humour; degrading comments; mentions of drinking; pure, filthy smut with dom/sub-inclinations. A/N: My one-shot contribution to @captain-kelli​ ‘s 500 challenge, based on a dialog prompt (bold) and a sprinkling of Thor. I hope it’s alright ;) Huge thanks to my lovely friend maladaptive-ninja-returns for betaing this one.

Stronger

No vocabulary contained the swear words you needed so desperately at that moment. A few interesting options had already passed your lips as you worked through the crumbling building, using your skill to move aside blocks of concrete as though they were tumbleweed to get to survivors. One by one, you had tunneled towards the poor victims, shaping the earth and debris to prevent any collapses, and you had actually been thrilled when you sensed the vibrations of Iron Man landing to take a dirty, shaking body from your arms.

Despair diffused into hope while you worked side by side with the Avengers.

Then the oaf showed up, tossing slabs off concrete out of the way without any consideration to the balance of the ruins.

It happened fast, almost too fast for the movement to register through your feet into your legs. Lunging forward, you managed to grab the kid you had been working towards with one hand while maintaining a thin, wobbly pillar (once the corner of the building) beneath yourself while the rest fell away. Dust and embers billowed. Your heart hammered in the throat. The rumble managed to drown out the kid’s frightened scream. Out of the raging darkness, Stark appeared just in time to grab the poor child as the dirty fingers started to slip through the strained grip – then they were gone and you could focus on your own predicament. Tired and pissed off, you would have a hard time shaping the concrete according to your will (earth would have been preferable due to the malleability).

Then the air crackled, making the little hairs stand on end. Or maybe it was simply the anger simmering from the anticipation of what was to come: a big, strong, blond oaf in a red cloak propelling himself upwards and past you yet somehow still managing to snare an arm around your waist and swish you away.

No language in the universe held the curses you needed. It might have been a hint for Thor if he had noticed how the remainder of the building crushed into itself, becoming no more than dust. He didn’t. He was too busy looking smug, a beaming smile aimed towards you even before he landed with a tooth rattling jolt.

“Fear not, fair lady,” he rumbled with more pride than you could stand, “nothing shall harm you now.”

No restraint could contain the cold words slithering off your lips. “Who asked you to intervene?”

“I…beg you pardon?” Oh, the confusion in those electric-blue eyes was perfect.

“You think you have to rescue me?!” Forcibly wriggling out of his arms, it was wonderful to have steady ground beneath your feet. “You think I can’t take care of myself?!”

He was not off the hook yet, oh no. Not once did the Asgardian God of Thunder get a proper word in as defense while you chewed him out. The only reason you eventually stopped was because Stark came over, dragging you away with the promise of a spa treatment and a party – who in their right mind would say no to that?

…   …

The party had been a small celebration with those involved in the day’s heroing: dinner at a local diner followed by drinks at a bar that Stark rented for the evening, but despite the “free” drinks and cute bartenders the Avengers eventually went back to the Tower, dragging you along with them. Were you supposed to have said no? Maybe. But of course you didn’t.

Staying away from Thor, you still managed to have a great time and had no issues ignoring the sulking glances the blond brute sent you from across the room. Drink in hand, you allowed yourself to be sweettalked into some fun and games by Natasha.

…

Who knew that superheroes amuse themselves by something as simple as “Truth or Dare”? To be honest, so far it has been hilarious (especially when Sam tried to minimize the damage he’d done to his reputation after a truth-question).

“Dare,” Thor proclaims with confidence as he stares down the redhead next to you.

A smile curls Natasha’s lips and if you had been on the receiving end then you would be scared. Thor, of course, is not.

“Kiss the person you’ve known the longest and the one you’ve known the shortest.”

There’s a beat of silence where Thor’s eyes flicker in your direction, but the tension is averted by Stark practically throwing himself at the Asgardian in anticipation of what’s to come. Two people don’t participate in the ruckus cheering filling the room: Natasha, who is leering at you…and you, who leans comfortably into the plush pillows, a leg dangling over the other to allow the foot to wiggle along to the beat of the music. Think murder, you tell yourself before meeting her gaze. Steady. Unwavering.

“So…” Your face is a perfect mask of calm innocence. “What’s the punishment when he fails?” Not if.

Although the words have been quiet, they manage to silence the room. Already, people are getting ideas as Thor recover from the first part of the Dare, his mind now also struggling with the suggestion that he, the Mighty Prince Thor of Asgard, should possibly fail.

“Oh! I know!” It might be Bruce piping up for once…or Stark if he has returned from his private heaven. “Thor’ll have to leave Mjølnir behind for research when he returns to Asgard.”

A collective “oooh” rushes through the group, undoubtedly fueled further by the blond idiot’s reaction. Perfect. He’s struggling to keep composure, nerves thrumming through his body - only finding an outlet through the punishing grasp that is threatening to tear off the armrest of the chair, and the curling of toes inside the big boots. But you? A tiny smirk tickles the corner of your mouth as you wait for the inevitable.

“Well, what a-are we waiting for?” Thor smiles falter when you do nothing but sip from the drink. “Surely, you cannot truly detest me…”

Oh, no? The slowest of looks from under your lashes tells him otherwise. Whether he has understood what he did wrong or not, it’s evident he realizes what is at stake at this moment while you have the perfect opportunity to teach him a lesson for making a situation worse by running in like a driverless bulldozer.

“What’s this?” you drawl playfully, “need me to…save…you?”

Electricity sparkles in his eyes and you know the words hit the right spot, but then he blinks and it is gone, leaving behind a man in the place of a god. “Yes. Please…save me.”

You know the others must be confused, unsure of what to make of the untamed rivalry between the two of you. Frankly, the scene has taken a turn you didn’t expect either. It’s just that…backing down isn’t an option anymore. Pushing away the knowledge of their presence, you focus on Thor and your nails.

“Funny thing, knowin’ someone wants to be rescued. Really enables a certain drive, y’know? A need to do it right and not endanger other people by rushing in like a bumbling oaf…dontcha agree?”

“Uhm…”

“Soooo…the plan’s to save you…or Mjølnir…by kissing you?”

“Yes?”

“I’ve seen rocks I’d rather kiss.”

Somewhere, in the world you’ve chosen to ignore for the moment, there are shouts and jeering. Right in front of you is a tall, muscly god with arms crossed as he towers above you. Glaring. Finally letting go of the confusion as your last insult chips away the patience he has cultivated. He doesn’t budge when you stand, chest brushing against his wiry lower arms, and the temptation to stand on the couch becomes nearly overwhelming.

“I’m no rock,” he growls, “unlike your heart.” There’s a gasp from somewhere behind the Asgardian (it distinctly sounds like the word “burn”), quickly followed by shushing. “Though…mayhaps your cold façade serves to keep yourself protected from feeling any love?”

“Nice try…but no.” The last dredges of your drink flows easily over your tongue. Time for a refill. “Now, excuse me.”

Thor allows you to pass and get all the way to the bar counter where you deposit the empty glass before he calls out to you. “I did not take you for a coward, lady [Y/N].”

“I’m not.”

“Yet you dare not share a kiss.”

You’ve frozen to the spot, back still turned to the group and hand on the fridge. I can say no…I can say no…I can…not. Nope. Not gonna chicken out. Slowly turning, it’s all too evident that everyone is holding their breath in anticipation. Some are praying for a chance to study the bloody hammer while others just want some ammunition to pester either Thor or maybe you with for at least the rest of the night.

“Now that’s a low blow, mister.” He is in trouble and the way you walk back to face him shows it. “Let’s see what you got, then.”

He delivers.

A hand cradling your neck, and arm around your waist pulling you flush up against him. There’s a brief second where your entire vision is filled by the electricity crackling in his blue eyes before his lips are upon you. Surprisingly gentle, they slot onto your mouth with ease and you’re done for. The combination of his beard prickling your upper lip and chin is the perfect contrast to the molten heat parting your lips with a sweep of his tongue to deepen the kiss. You forget to breathe, forget to hold your eyes open and your legs steady. Instead you lean into his embrace and allow your instincts to engage in a dance you hadn’t intended to perform but don’t want out of.

You are breathless when he pulls away, hands supporting you until you have got your bearings again. Want.

“See?” By some sort of miracle, your voice isn’t reduced to a gasp. “Rocks could do better.”

Thankfully, the scientific part of the group are complaining loudly enough about the missed opportunity to move the attention from you and eventually the game continues for a few rounds. It gives you time - time where you keep pulling your gaze away from the blond god repeatedly. Sometimes, you imagine feeling the electric fire of his eyes scalding your skin, each time making you check to find him studying you unabashedly.

…

By the time the party ends, you’ve been offered to sleep over rather than make your way home. Tony has already staggered off to his room, leaving Natasha in charge of finding a bed for you a few floors below the lounge and instruct you on the little stash of spare clothes hidden behind a panel in the wall.

“Most are gonna sleep in t’morrow, so don’t worry ‘bout getting up early,” she yawns. Just before the door closes behind her, she adds, “Oh, and if you hear snoring it’s just Thor…his room’s across from this.”

I didn’t hear that.

Snooping around the room and en suite bathroom entertains you for a while and even yields rather luxurious results – the hottest shower you have ever indulged in as well as overly fluffy towels and a dark blue, silk nightshirt that reaches the middle of your thighs. The place is fit for a princess. A highly modern one, but royalty, nonetheless. Even a Prince of Asgard.

Just the thought makes a delicate sweat break out on your skin. Logic and lust battles within you, painting pictures in your mind of a strong body displayed naked before you, muscles moving like sand beneath the tan skin and a stone-grip on your thighs.

I’d be weak if I give in, you pout as you toss and turn in the enormous bed…and regret it if I don’t. Caught between a rock and a hard place there’s no rest to be found while the fire burns within. The problem is not the risk of love or hurt feelings but rather to become “just another of those girls”. The kind of chicks that sigh while waiting for Mr. Right to find them; the type of female who needs a provider and protector for whatever reason. None of those are you. Strong and independent, no one is above you. Sure, you got morals (the wish to help people and not hurt them intentionally is there), but all your life you’ve followed your dreams and aspirations, ensuring you got what you wanted.

“Why not this time?”

The darkness doesn’t answer the whisper, but perhaps that is a reply in its own right.

Yeah…I want him. I’ll have him. Slipping from under the duvet, bare feet listen to the information carried like a mumble through the concrete to guide you out of the room and across the hall where a sliver of light cuts below the door. You can feel his footsteps pacing back and forth. Is he waiting? Considering his own options?

A deep breath finds its way into your lungs in an attempt to steady your nerves. Rather than knocking, you open the door resolutely, finding the god at the far end of the room in all his naked glory including a semi-hard cock. The once-over becomes a twice-over as the door closes behind you.

“Might wanna lock when walking ‘round in your birthday suit.”

The specimen of a man doesn’t seem bothered by the intrusion or nudity but minimizes the distance between the two of you with all but a yard. “My own door was of little concern,” he rumbles, “while yours became an insurmountable obstacle from which I’ve retreated numerous times…afraid my sins were irredeemable.”

Oh really? “I…could forgive you, I guess…”

“Tell me how!” The tall man literally drops to his knees before you, large hands reaching for your hips but not daring to touch. “Your wish is my command, m’lady.”

It’s a rush to be in charge of Thor, not just due to his natural alpha-vibes or his royal title but rather because he doesn’t begrudgingly follow your instruction as you order him to get up and turn to display himself. He moves with a slow purpose, flexing his limbs lazily as you carve the sight into a memory that time never will erode. Sandy skin glistens in the dimmed light while shadows shimmy across the mountains and valleys of his muscles.

“Undress me.”

There’s not a lot of clothing to remove. Nonetheless, he extends each part of the task to the infinite, making sure not to touch your skin as each button of the silk shirt is popped to allow the cool fabric to slide off your shoulders and pool at your feet. Once more, he kneels. Calloused fingers reaching for the hem of your panties.

“Wait.” His hands stop mere millimeters away. “Before you remove them, feel free to touch me as you wish.”

Even without direct eye contact, you can sense the flicker of lightning playing in the blue of his irises – a convenient explanation to why every hair on your body stands on end when you still don’t want to admit it’s pure excitement.

His first touches are featherlight strokes up and down your thighs, curving to the back where the large palms fit so well under the ass. Fingertips tug at the thin fabric of your undies, pulling them partially below the hips so only your mound remains hidden, baring sensitive skin for Thor to lavish with subtle kisses. The first tremors dance deep within you, early warnings of an earthquake only he can set off.

The grip is much stronger, needier, when his hands frame your waist to pull you flush against his chest. Nose in navel, deep breaths inhale your scent. The smile of his lips can be felt against your abdomen, growing wider as he cups one of the breasts where his fingers stroke the peak and tweak the hardening pebble to make you gasp.

“M’lady,” he murmurs against your hip, tongue tracing the shift in your flesh to where the bundled undies hinder further advances, “please allow me…?”

“Alright.”

Barely have the words left your lips before you feel the fabric slip down, reluctantly letting go where they have soaked up the wetness between your legs already. He knows. A deep sigh escapes him, immediately followed by kisses claiming the path towards your sex.

A few inches and his lips will be on your clit.

One inch.

“Enough.” The words are more ragged than sharp as intended, but Thor accepts the command. “Get on the bed.”

You follow him closely as he scoots backwards until his head rests on the pillow. Damn. Every tensed muscle you touch could be carved from sun-heated marble. Shivers erupt from where you hands glide over his skin – all running towards the proudly erect cock which in itself is a godly masterpiece that twitches in anticipation as you straddle his thighs.

It’s so obvious, the craving in those electric eyes devouring you whole, the tremble caused by self-restraint. Waiting for the order, huh? Reaching for his hands, allowing fingers to entwine as you lean down to nibble at his throat. Sensitive nipples sweep over his chest. Each stuttering breath escaping Thor tickles your ear as your lips find their way towards his until the connection finally is made and he can steal your breath away, drinking it straight from your mouth. Hips roll, his or yours – it barely matters – but you won’t let go and allow his hands to roam. Not yet at least. Tearing away, a smile plays on your lips at the whine he utters at the lack of contact.

“So eager,” you purr, “for this?”

Not once do your eyes stray from him. Your own hands are much smaller, doing little to imitate what Thor might be able to do if he was the one to cup your breasts before a hand slides to the apex of your thighs to splay the folds and spread the glistening wetness there. Blatantly taunting him, moaning and rocking against your own touch as you expertly swirl the clit. Beneath you, the man groans and you do the same when you tweak the nipples, one after the other as the hand works. There’s a distinct sound of fabric ripping when a few of your digits enter the core.

“Please. Goddess,” the desperate man gasps, “please.”

Rolling the pelvis (and shuffling slightly forward on the knees) you drag your sobbing cunt along Thor’s shaft, the tip teasing the entrance enough for him to pout as you repeat the maneuver. So tempting. All it would take is a little lift and then a slow, breathtaking slide to bring his cock inside. To feel the width and length press ever right spot as the walls of your cunt would stretch and quiver to accommodate him.

“Show me how to treat a goddess, then.”

The mask of meek desperation crumbles in seconds, revealing a predatorial greed gleaming like sharp crystals. Rather than grab your hips and guide you until you are impaled on his cock, however, he surges up to embrace you tightly. A demanding mouth captures your lips, stealing your senses by the flexing sweeps of a tongue matched by bites. When Thor’s hands begin to roam, you find yourself unable to do anything but hold on to him, nails digging into the muscly back, as your body grinds against him with a will of its own.

You’re vaguely aware of the room turning around you and the firm softness of a mattress against your back, but nothing truly stands clear until the nibbling kisses and licks travel down your body. Clavicle and shoulders, breasts where each hypersensitive nipple is treated heavenly before Thor proceeds across the expanse of your stomach.

He uses every part of his body to tease you: his voice sends vibrations into your very soul, the press of him is deliciously insistent between your legs, his reddish beard a devilish contrast to the sweetness of his lips, and his hands…oh god…his hands are everywhere. Pinching, massaging, stroking.

“O-ah!” The sound slips out of you in whimper.

Thor is paying full attention to your clit, licking broad stripes all along the folds before spelling out the alphab- wait. Each flick of his tongue does trace a letter around the tight bundle of nerves, but they aren’t random instead spelling out your name before a broad lick starts it all over until your toes curl and legs shake from the approaching orgasm and your moans have changed to keening cries for more.

In a flurry, the strong man sits back, hauling you along to ensure your legs are clenching his flanks firmly and his cock breaching the entrance to your core. Strong hands under your ass is holding you steady, allowing you to look down upon his face where your juices glisten in the beard.

“A word from your…lips is a law…in my…life,” he gasps just as eager as you.

“Give me ev’rything.”

The muscles shiver under the Asgardian’s skin from holding back as he impales you slowly. Your back arches. Your walls flutter and squeeze in a pulsating rhythm, soon matched by Thor’s thrusts and pulls at your hips the moment he shifts the hold on you. Deep, dragged out movements hitting all the right spots within and outside of your core.

No metaphor covers the sensation as you cum, riding Thor’s cock as you sit in his lap. Maybe an earthquake, a landslide that sends you flying into a void containing nothing but the two of you, his arms holding you while your body relents control in favour of unbridled euphoria. And just as it feels as though the orgasm wanes, the man’s thrusts stutter and a tingle of electricity runs through your core bringing you to a new peak together with Thor.

Breath by shuddering breath, you descend from the high wrapped in each others’ arms while foreheads rest against each other. Eventually you reach between your bodies, holding in his cum as he slips out and lies you down on the bed.

“Don’t leave, [Y/N],” he asks from the place beside you.

How could I? “Just let me freshen up.”

…

Cleaned up and watered, you’re back in Thor’s bed, allowing him to tug you closer.

“My lady…if this be the punishment for my wrongs then I may have to interfere more often…”

Hmmm…potential. “I’m imaginative,” you laugh, “so stay sharp.”

“As you wish, my queen.”

[big-bad-ulf]

The Prodigal Wolf Returns || Ulfric & Winn

Timing: Midday, Thursday 4th of June  Parties: @packsbeforesnacks, @big-bad-ulf Summary: Ulfric meets with Winn to discuss what drove him out of town, and consider their next moves.  Warnings: Mentions of assisted suicide, depression, and grief.

The clearing in the woods was quiet, remote, and neutral. Somewhere they could both feel at home, but that neither could claim ownership of. Hearing footsteps approaching, Ulfric dropped the cigarette stub between his fingers, stamping it out into the leaf litter below to conceal most of the evidence of the bad habit he’d picked up again after Celeste’s passing, though the smoke still lingered accusingly. “I suppose thanks are in order, for coming all the way out here,” he greeted Winn stoically, before finally turning to face the returned wolf. “As you’re aware, I’m not the one who you need to explain your actions to.” He hoped it was apparent he meant Layla and Ariana, but the young man didn’t have the best track record thinking things through to their logical conclusion. “But I’d like one, because as it stands I can’t imagine a scenario in which ‘sparring’ with a tiny human girl while in wolf form was necessary? Nor was fleeing town when you knew others of your kind were in danger.” The older werewolf’s tone was tired, weighed down by the collective suffering of White Crest’s pack over the last few weeks, but an anger borne of disappointment simmered beneath the weariness. 

Winn had been dreadin’ this conversation since he’d figured out everyone thought he’d skipped town. Ulfric was… intimidating, to say the absolute least. Winn could handle teenagers. He could handle folks in his own (relative) age group. And Simon was, well, kind, in a way that he wasn’t sure Ulfric was. But part of the problem was that he didn’t know Ulfric. Didn’t know most of the wolves, really, all friendliness aside. So, worst-case scenario, Ulfirc hated him. Best case scenario, Ulfric thought he was an idiot. As he entered the clearing, smoke tickled his nose. The Full Moon was on them and Winn was pretty sure he’d have smelled it even if Ulfric hadn’t just been smoking, but he stowed the frown. It wasn’t his place to judge someone’s habits; he’d had bad habits of his own. Still had some. “I appreciate it,” Winn said, “but it’s unnecessary. I should thank you, for bein’ willing to hear me out.” He leaned against a tree, scrubbing at his eyes. Reconciling with his father and (part of) his former pack hadn’t helped his sleep, much as he wanted it to and, with Natalia out of town, he was running low on aram. “Talked to both of them. Only one left that knew, I think, is you.”

He weighed what he knew about Blanche in his mind, what he knew about Ulfric, and his newfound fondness for the truth. “Blanche is… like a sister, to me. She’s a trouble magnet. If there’s supernatural nonsense goin’ on in White Crest, I head her way. ‘Cause chances are, if she isn’t already involved, she will be in, like, an hour. I know it was stupid, thought I had better control than I did. After I got a hold of myself, I dipped, for just a few minutes. Came back, told Blanche that I was leavin’ to take care of some things, left a note somewhere I thought she’d find it. Phone had been dead before that, and I figured if she told folks I was gone, they’d know that I’d be back soon and couldn’t really make a twelve-hour drive shorter.” Winn sighed. “That’s usually the part of the story where folks have questions, so hit me. Oh, right. Social media. A shirtless photo of mine got flagged and, since I didn’t have my phone, I couldn’t contest the deactivation. That one was just coincidence. Lady Luck wasn’t in my favor.”

“It was stupid,” Ulfric confirmed when Winn was through with his explanation. He crossed his arms and paced in a tight, restless pattern as he weighed the other wolf’s actions, to decide what needed asking. It wasn’t like he could pass any judgment in an official sense, it would be up to Layla and Ariana and any of the other wolves who felt slighted to decide for themselves how they felt and how they wanted to interact with him on a personal level. But as a more experienced wolf, he felt obligated to address the aspects of Winn’s behavior that had the potential to harm the entire pack, or even their entire species. “I understand this girl means something to you, but we don’t need to be teaching more humans how to fight us.” Not that it was likely a human of average strength would stand much of a chance, even with whatever ‘mind powers’ Blanche supposedly possessed, but that was beside the point, their weaknesses were meant to stay between them. “Learning that would only help her against our kind, and if you’re worried any one of us is a threat to her that’s something that can be dealt with internally… It’s the fact you don’t seem to know your limits that troubles me most, though.”

Ulfric stopped and stood his ground as he came to that conclusion, looking over Winn appraisingly as he remembered the young wolf bragging about having killed a hunter. He’d chalked it up to mostly harmless arrogance at the time, but when he later explained he hadn’t done it on purpose that should’ve raised more red flags than it had. “You don’t seem like you’re that new to this. You should have a better grasp of how much control you do or don’t have. So, I suppose my questions are, do you know what pushed you over the edge? What do you plan to do to ensure this doesn’t happen again?”

Winn tried not to bristle at the half-accusation, pushing himself off the tree and walking towards Ulfric as, hopefully, non-threateningly as possible. “With all due respect, I never said that I was trainin’ her to take out wolves,” he said. And he hadn’t been! Werewolves were just big and so were, what, half of the things B would run into? “She only knows the bare minimum, assumin’ she hasn’t talked to Kaden ‘bout his other job. Ain’t hard for a human to try silver, given only every story about us tends to revolve ‘round that fact.” He took a deep breath, exhaling through his nose. “But we can argue ‘bout Blanche later, it’s not like I’ll be sparrin’ with her in wolf form again.”

“It worries me, too. ‘Cause I’ve…” he paused, looking up into the canopy to choose his words carefully. “Let me backtrack. You don’t know much about me, and it might be… helpful. Since you’re the wolf ‘round here with the most experience…” Now, Winn was pacing. “I was turned almost eight years ago. The only turned wolf in a pack of, uh, werewolf fraternity brothers, down south. They guided me through my first dozen shifts, taught me how to be calm. So, believe me when I say: I have plenty of control, ‘specially for not havin’ been a wolf all my life. And don’t get your britches in a bunch, I know that sounds like bullshit, right now.” Winn ran a hand through his hair, uncomfortable with the conclusions he was beginning to draw about his time ‘changed.’ “I said I accidentally killed a Hunter… well, that was half-true. The accident was my own — I was sleepin’ with a Hunter, didn’t know he was a Hunter. The killing was on purpose. Self-defense, when he abused my trust, tried to go after my pack.

“After that, I was in… a dark place. That would’a been late 2015. Next thing I remember, I was in Europe, staggering in my human form out of the woods in early 2018. Thought, until recently, I’d spent a year or two in and out of my wolf form… but, I’m startin’ to question that. Couple theories’ve been tossed around, maybe it isn’t true. But when I… attacked B, it felt different. On a Moon, when I let the wolf come to the forefront… even when I was tryin’ to keep us separate, I still knew what was goin’ on. But with B, I don’t remember anything between getting thrown into a tree and pullin’ myself back from the brink. It was, well, dissociative is maybe the closest way to say it. I was there, and then I wasn’t. I’ve never lost control like that. Not even, y’know, when I was still new at this. It’s… it’s like hittin’ that tree pulled something out of me, something from under my conscious. I— Have you ever heard of anything like that? Where a wolf just… wasn’t himself, or even his wolf self? Even if it had been, say, Ariana, I don’t think it would’ve changed it. I still think that… part of me would want to attack everything.”

“There’s no need for that if you’re not going to do it again.” Ulfric agreed with Winn’s statement about Blanche. Truthfully, he did not want to be having this argument in the first place. A good old-fashioned brawl could be cathartic but having to play the role of stern lecturer just made feel weary, worn-out, and old. Running wild together, celebrating a successful hunt, sharing tales of old legends and recent exploits, those were the things he’d looked forward to about being a part of a pack again. Having to step up and confront things that put them in jeopardy was a responsibility that came with that privilege, but not one he enjoyed or hoped to have to take up often.

The older werewolf couldn’t contain a small grimace of disgust upon hearing Winn’s story. The chance that they might be a hunter was one of the many reasons it was a bad idea to get involved that way with humans, but he didn’t bother to voice his opinion on that. The man was an adult capable of making his own choices and he’d also spent a lot of his life as a human, so it was easy to see where that mistake had come from. Besides, it seemed he’d more than learned his lesson on that front.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been to come back from a betrayal like that.” Ulfric replied at last, because the tale was tragic, if difficult for him to relate to on a personal level. “I haven’t heard of wolves entering an abnormal state like that,” Of course, his own ‘wolf self’ was similar in some ways to what Winn had described, an entirely animalistic being, but even then it retained the animal instinct not to attack its own kind without severe provocation and the risk of that side of himself emerging outside of a full moon was very low. “It seems the answers may lie in what happened in those lost years. What are the theories?” Staying transformed for the better part of years… Was such a thing truly possible? Ulfric could’ve almost been jealous of Winn for having that freedom from morals and responsibilities of the human world for so long, if the suffering it was causing him now wasn’t so apparent.

“Have you tried… it could be possible, or so I’ve heard, to bring some memories back through mystical means.” He suggested hesitantly. “I don’t like getting involved with such things, but you can’t just… go on the way you are, not without having to isolate yourself.” And that was the last thing he wanted for any of his kind, regardless of whether he held them in high regard or not. “If something were to bring on this feral state in front of a crowd that would mean disaster for all of us. And I’m sure you know that,” He leveled the younger wolf with a hard-nosed look. “Even if some of your actions suggest a distinct lack of judgment of the more mundane variety.”   

“I— Thanks.” Winn frowned, stopping his pacing as Ulfric spoke. “I have a… friend, who looked into some, uh, wolf causes. Didn’t find much, some reports of wolves stayin’ transformed who went… feral, who couldn’t change back into their human form.” What Rio had told him had scared him, but it hadn’t felt, well… correct. It seemed like even those wolves had the sense to not attack other wolves, that they retained some of their humanity, even if they became more animal than human. ‘Course, many of them didn’t live to tell their tale, and the records that Rio had found could only tell them so much. Some had been written by Hunters, others written by a wolf who had to put one of his own down. But Winn had come back, which seemed to be the wrinkle. No Hunter had ever tried to bring a wolf back to themselves, but not even a packmate could. So, if Winn had been transformed, how could he have come back?

“Given I’m back, though, my friend and I ruled that out. ‘Specially for a bitten wolf to come back from bein’ feral? Seemed unlikely. Not when there was another explanation. Which is, um…” Alright, okay. He could admit this aloud. “My dad is a huxian. He thinks it might be mystical, yeah. Somethin’ taken from me, or somethin’ I gave up.”

He swallowed, mouth dry. “I’m still tryin’ other avenues. R— My friend is lookin’ into… side-effects of wolfsbane. What shit street wolfsbane might get spiked with. I—” Winn scratched at his arms, almost wishin’ that he was wearin’ a shirt. “I took wolfsbane for months, after I killed that Hunter. Blamed myself for what happened to the pack. And I guess I… stopped.” He looked up into the canopy. “But you’re right. I need to figure out my shit, so I don’t put us all at risk. And, short of goin’ back on the wolfsbane — which I’m not gonna do — we really don’t have any leads. If there’s… a part of me, that’s missin’, then I don’t want to go on like this. I can’t. Even if…” Well, there was always this part. Winn looked back down at Ulfric, mouth set in a hard line. “Don’t… I don’t want your pity. This isn’t y’all’s problem, but there’s… well, if I’m missin’ two years, there’s a chance that…” He coughed. 

“There’s this Hunter I know. Luke mentioned him at the meeting. He… If I did somethin’ bad, hurt an innocent life, he’s the one I trust to… put an end to me. But I don’t want him knowin’ about what happened with B, and— I don’t know what could happen, if I get those memories back. No one I’ve talked to so far does. But if he’s… if I’m different, if I try to hurt someone, I need y’all to be willin’ to stop me. If that happens… As the person I am now, I want you… to take me down. If you can’t kill me, let me rot. If I can’t control myself, I am… I am not more important than all of you.” His voice was hoarse, tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He couldn’t remember crying this much in a very long time, but he needed to be firm. “Promise me. Please. I’m sorry, so sorry, to put that burden on you.” He held out his hand, for the other wolf to take, to seal the pact. “But it has to be done.”

As Winn’s explanation continued, it became more and more clear to Ulfric that his actions couldn’t be explained away by stupidity or cowardice. That was a shame really, both of those causes would’ve been much easier to deal with than this mystery of missing memory. Everything Winn said seemed to introduce a new piece to the puzzle (Huxians, wolfsbane, and of course, the seemingly inescapable interference of hunters), but it was unclear how they whole fit together or how much of a threat would be revealed when the big picture came together. When the young wolf came to the end of his speech and what he was asking him to do sunk in, Ulfric’s blood ran cold. Protecting the pack was paramount, but the thought of killing another wolf was profane, it would be the ultimate sacrilege towards the gift his ancestors had bestowed upon him. 

“I’m not going to sit idly by and let you harm other members of the pack, of that you can be certain,” he answered carefully, considering his options. If Winn were to slip into a permanent state of mindless, unbridled aggression, the usual ‘last resort’ of exile would do little to keep him from returning and causing havoc in their territory. Caging was another possibility, but he knew if their circumstances were reversed, he’d prefer a quick death over a life spent in chains, and it seemed the young man would as well. And finally, allowing hunters to deal with him in that state would only further inflame their hatred towards his kind, along with being plain undignified. “If your continued existence poses a threat to their survival, I promise you, I’ll do what needs to be done.” Ulfric accepted after a long moment’s deliberation, giving Winn’s hand a firm, resolute shake, though the clamminess of his palm betrayed his instinctual, visceral reaction against the plan. “Let’s not let it come to that though,” He added, more of an instruction than a hope. “I’ve had my fill of death for the time being.” 

““Thank you,” Winn said, quietly. “But… Agreed. Don’t want it to come to that.” It wasn’t that Winn hadn’t considered his death before. Hell, after what had happened with his old pack, there had been times where he’d… well, where he’d really considered dying. Winn liked to think he was better, now. If not totally well-adjusted, at least pretty solid on the ‘me dying wouldn’t fix the issue’ mantra. Counseling helped that, and learning about counseling only reinforced it. Which is part of why he knew: “I need those memories back, though. Even if it hurts, or if there’s… a reason I buried them. Now that I know they might not be there, it’s like… it’s like I can feel the space where they used to be. They’re a blindspot, sure, but more than that they’re… part of me. I can’t…” He sighed, sitting down on the forest floor and breathing in the woods for a moment before continuing. “As I am now, I can’t imagine what reason I could have had to bury them or… take them? I don’t know anybody who’d have the answers. Plus, there’s all the shit with Luke, and what happened with Ari, and… Fuck, man, I haven’t even asked you how you’re doing. I… I mean, I didn’t know Celeste, but I talked to Ari some, and… I know it’s a cheap question, but are you okay, Ulfric?”

“I think I can understand that. Why you’d want them back.” Ulfric assured him. He was familiar with having gaps in his memory, though he’d never had much choice in the matter. Berserkers had lost the ability to remember most of their actions while transformed centuries ago, and their intentions behind that, if there were any, were shrouded in mystery and myth. He did have a choice, though, between taking the easy way out and walking away from the carnage he’d caused while in wolf form and reconstructing what happened during that time as best he could. Ever since his ill-thought-out vengeance against the hunters who took his younger siblings, he’d chosen to do the latter. Chosen to look at the carnage and accept why it had happened, and that it was a part of him.

 “What we do is what we are,” he pondered aloud, before directing his attention back on Winn more fully. “I respect your choice and wish you luck. You can count on me for… whatever it is you think I can provide.” Which wasn’t much, given his lack of expertise in the realm of the magical. He couldn’t even truthfully say he’d provide friendly support, because he was still too wary of the young wolf and the potential danger he posed to the pack as a whole to consider him a friend. An alliance was clearly in both their best interests though, so Ulfric refrained from repeating his earlier comments about not wanting any help from him when he asked how he was. “I’ll survive, so will you,” he stated simply and firmly instead, almost ordering the fates to make it so. “Any other option doesn’t bear thinking about.” The older wolf turned briskly and took off into the trees. Action was required of both of them, if the White Crest pack was ever going to be able to consider itself safe. They could spare no more time for conjecture and contemplation.

[baeklination]

구름 도시  (Cloud City)  pt.1

Warnings/Contains: None really. Some light cursing. General talk about the case, but nothing explicit.

au: members of the justice system

Characters: Baekhyun, Kai, Suho, Sehun

WC:3400

Date:200523

Masterpost      Part 2

                                           ¤¤¤

APRIL 17th

  Jun-myeon poked his head out of his office.

“Byun, we’ve got a girl reported missing, go talk to her parents will you?”

Baek-hyun grabbed the holster from his chair, out of habit more than anything

“How old?”

“She’s twenty-six, Cho Min-young, lives in Hammer Hill. Her parents are waiting”

Baek-hyun slowed down and raised an eyebrow at his boss.

“Jun, you know I’m not a star case- guy, but a missing twenty-six year-old..? I thought you meant a kid. She’s probably at a boyfriend's house-”

“Nope”

“Girlfriend then-”

“They’ve called everyone they can think of, and she didn’t show up for work this morning. Come on, Byun, as a favour; it’ll be in and out. Take the new guy with you, show him how the pro’s do it”. Jun-myeon shot a wide smile at him, knowing he’d won Baek-hyun over.

  In the middle of the stations commotion sat a young detective, trying his best to look as if he hadn’t overheard the conversation between Baek-hyun and the lieutenant, but he felt like a kid waiting for his fun uncle to collect him.

“Come on, Jong-in, you heard the boss”, Baek-hyun said, approaching him. “Is it alright if we drop the honorifics, can I speak informally to you?”

“Yes, it’s okay, Mr.Byun, you can speak informally.” Jong-in nodded with a slightly nervous smile.

“We, Jong-in. We speak informally. No mr, hyung, or nim, please.”

 Having reached the car, Baek-hyun waited for Jong-in’s reaction( although if anyone asked, he’d never admit to such vanity).

“Shit, this is your car? It’s a beauty!”, Jong-in exclaimed when he realized what ride was theirs. “You’re in to the classics?”

Baek-hyun chuckled and feigned embarrassment.

 “Yeah, this is my Old Betty”, but the charade only lasted a moment. “70’s Coupe Deville - Cadillac, obviously. My father brought it back from the States in the 80’s”. Seeing the question on Jong-in’s face Baek-hyun continued “He went to college over there, and saw this darling; dirt cheap if you ask him - a prettier penny than that if you ask my mother. He retired it a while back, and let me buy it. Actually, he would never let me buy it - I’ve been paying for their weekly grocery shopping without him knowing for the past two years now” he laughed, and Jong-in, now more relaxed, rolled his eyes in a I-know-the-type-way. Reaching in and popping the hood he gestured for Jong-in to follow him.

 “See” he pointed to the machinery “the engine was alright, but I know a mechanic, so I had it fitted with a V8, and the normal updates; better versions of things they had in the original. I know, I know, the original is the soul and all that - but I don’t want my girl going bust when I’m doing 110 on the highway chasing bad guys, you know”. Jong-in nodded, but this part was beyond him. “Now she’s got 600 HP and manages 130 km and hour, easy”, Baek-hyun shamelessly bragged as they got in the car. It wasn’t any wonder really, the car was in top condition; the body a dark, almost black, brown, grill and hubcaps gleaming like they were newly polished, and the inside a creamy dream of tan leather and red details. 

“So, do you also have a classic?”, Baek-hyun’s eyes were shining with anticipation. Jong-in might’ve opened a Pandora’s box here, and he didn’t want to make a bad impression on their first day together, but decided that honesty was always the best route.

“No, I wish..! If I knew anything about cars then maybe I could buy an oldie, fix it up myself, you know, but I’ve never been good at cars. And buying one in good condition…”, he sighed.

Baek-hyun whistled “Hell, I couldn’t afford that, and I’m a couple of pay grades above you..!”.

“Yeah, and with my kid, I think it’s better to save than splurge. Our Honda runs good enough.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you  have a kid. Boy or girl? Give me the deets.”

“Girl, Yong-sun. She’s eight months old, home with mommy - my girlfriend. We’ve been together seven years”, Jong-in said, almost stumbling over the last part, in case Baek-hyun would find it improper that he had a child before getting married.

“That long..! Congrats man, then you know it’s tried, tested and true”, Baek-hyun said, calming Jong-in’s nerves. Driving out of the garage he changed tone to a serious, albeit still relaxed, one “So, what d’you think; girl really missing or just out of reach? Pitch me some scenarios, rookie.”

                                                   ¤¤¤

  Having parked on the side of the street, Baek-hyun stepped out and surveyed the area for a while. Hammer Hill was a nice neighbourhood; not the highest echelons of society, but definitely upper middle-class. 

“Pretty nice place for a single twenty-something to live in, no?”

“Pretty nice for anyone”, Jong-in replied. “But those online stars make a lot of money, you know”.

“This much?” Baek-hyun frowned in disbelief. “You think she’s doing something on the side? Catering to a different audience, so to speak? Wouldn’t be the first time”, Baek-hyun sighed, while he started up the stairs. Jong-in, not wanting to offend anyone, erred on the side of caution 

“I don’t know, anything is possible. But making this much money in a…” he hesitated “...pure way is also possible”.

“First lesson passed, rookie: avoid jumping to stereotypical conclusions”, Baek-hyun said with a dunk on Jong-in’s back, as they walked up to the door. After ringing the doorbell Baek-hyun turned to Jong-in and hurriedly said:

“But don’t mention prostitution to her parents, okay? Don’t say anything to alarm them further. We want them to remain calm, so they don’t forget to mention anything. Besides, she’ll probably pop up in the next day or so. Just try to...get a feel for the situation. You’ll be doing a lot of these house calls, trust me”.

The door was opened by Min-young’s mother, a woman in her fifties, without any especially distinguishing features, except for the worry in her eyes. 

“Mrs. Cho, I’m detective Byu-”

“Oh, finally, thank god, come in”, Mrs. Cho exclaimed with relief, and moved so they could go in. “I apologize, it’s a mess, but I didn’t want to touch anything in case…” her voice faded. She ushered Baek-hyun and Jong-in to the living-room, where an older man - presumably Mr.Cho - and a younger man stood up to great the detectives. Baek-hyun gave it another try.

“Good afternoon, Sir, I’m detective Byun, this is my colleague detective Kim”, he said and took the man’s hand with a warm smile “you must be Mr. Cho”.

“Detective Byun, Kim”, Mr. Cho said with a short nod to them “Thank you for coming.” Gesturing to the young man he continued “this is Oh Sehun, Min-young’s friend”. They exchanged remaining pleasantries and sat down. 

“So, tell us, what’s going on; the lieutenant said you haven’t heard from Min-young - is it okay if I call her Min-young?” he interjected, remembering his manners. After getting the okay from Mr. and Mrs. Cho he continued “So, still nothing new from Min-young since...yesterday evening, was it? Tell us what happened”. Mrs. Cho, with a slight tremble in her voice started 

“Well, it wasn’t anything special yesterday, really. It’s not that we had plans and she didn’t show up. But I tried calling her in the evening, but she didn’t pick up the phone. We tried calling a couple of times, but when it got late we figured maybe she was just really busy, and decided to wait until the morning.” 

“But she hasn’t picked up today either”, Mr. Cho chimed in. “I tried calling at eight thirty, right before she goes to work, but she didn’t answer, so I tried her office...nothing. They still haven’t heard from her” he said, holding his palms up. Baek-hyun sensed Mr. Cho was more perplexed than scared, which would be helpful in locating her, as opposed to Mrs. Cho, who might overlook something because of the stress she clearly was under.

“Excuse me”, Jong-in said in a low voice, and the whole company looked at him with surprise, almost having forgotten about his presence. “You said she went to her office; wasn’t she a social media personality? She didn’t work from home?”

Good catch, Baek-hyun thought.

“Oh, no. She used to, but she felt a bit cooped up working from home, so she moved to a small office space in Rolling Hills; in the Gigamex complex.” 

  Baek-hyun let Jong-in take the lead, try his wings, so to speak, and focused more on scribbling down names and dates in his police issued notepad (he found that it made people feel as if he really listened if he used pen and paper instead of some smart device). This also gave him the opportunity to gauge their reactions to any questions, to make sure they were on the up-and-up. And what of this Sehun character? Up until now he’d been quiet, only a few nods and nervous hands clasped together. Interrupting his train of thought, Jong-in continued

“And who was it you talked to at the office?”

“Michelle. We don’t know her last name, but she’s Min-young’s assistant, she helps her with editing and her calendar, I think”. One could tell that world wasn’t Mr. Cho’s arena, but he was close enough with his daughter to have heard a bit about it. Mrs. Cho picked up her mobile, and after a few scrolls held it out for Baek-hyun to copy

“Here. This is her number. She couldn’t say much, but if you want to talk to her...” Baek-hyun received it with a barely distinguishable bow and took her number down.

“Do you know if anyone was...less than nice to her online? Did she ever mention anything specific?” Jong-in knew the price of putting yourself out there often was people being rude, nasty, or worse, so he wanted to make sure he covered at least some of the bases. And to be honest, as distasteful as it may sound it was exhilarating; his first interview in the field. And he seemed to know a thing or two more than Baek-hyun about this topic, so he got to shine a little. But her parents were adamant about her job not being an issue here. 

“Her channel is about arts and crafts, making things from scratch, baking and those kinds of things. The people who write her are kind. Sure, there are a some rude people, but most of them are so sweet”, Mrs. Cho said.

“What about a boyfriend, was she seeing anybody?”, Baek-hyun asked and looked at Sehun, as did her parents “Are you..?”

For the first time Sehun let go of his hands, and waved no. 

“No, no. We’ve been friends since middle school, she’s like my sister. And jogging buddy. We go running a couple days a week, have dinner or coffee after. We were supposed to go yesterday evening, but she cancelled”, Sehun explained.

“When was that?” Baek-hyun recognized the sign of voluntary M.I.A. Sehun unlocked his phone and showed the caller log to Baek-hyun “17.12. We usually meet up around five thirty, so it’s odd that she cancelled with such little notice”.

“Did she say why, or sound different in any way?”

“No. She said it wasn’t anything special, she just had something to do. But when I asked her again she wouldn’t say. I was kinda annoyed, but now...” Sehun shrugged his shoulders and looked so hopeless he almost made Baek-hyun think something had happened to Min-young. But being the veteran he was he knew the majority of these cases ended happily - a lost phone, a drunken night, or a secret boyfriend - so he composed himself and gave them a smile.

“I know you’re all very worried right now, but trust me when I say we get a lot of calls like these, and it almost always ends up being some kind of misunderstanding. But we’ll follow up on these tips you’ve given us when we get back to the station, of course. Could we just have a quick look around the apartment, to see if anything seems amiss?”

                                           ¤¤¤

  Having seen nothing suspicious in Min-young’s apartment they assured the Cho’s that they would call them the next day, and said their goodbyes. 

“You did good up there, Jong-in”, Baek-hyun complimented his partner for the day. “What are your thoughts?”

“Thank you, Byu-Baek-hyun” Jong-in stuttered, making Bae-hyun laugh.”I feel bad for them. But like you said, they almost always come back. So...do we talk to her assistant, get phone records from Min-young’s cell provider?”

“Phone records takes more than...” Baek-hyun looked at his watch “than the two hours we have left. Let’s call the assistant, and you can run down locations of CCTV in the area”.

“To see when she left the apartment and which way she went…”

“We’ll take a closer look tomorrow morning if she’s still not back. So her friend, Oh Sehun…” Baek-hyun let the question hang in the air.

“Yeah. Do you usually see friends joining this early? He’s probably telling the truth, but…” 

“But..?” Baek-hyun echoed for Jong-in to continue.

“Well, he was the last one to talk to her. And did she really not say anything to him?”

“Exactly. I don’t think he’s hurt her, but it’s possible - likely even - that he might know more than he’s telling. Remember what I said about catering to a different audience? Let’s do a quick background check and talk to him tomorrow. Maybe he’ll be more open when the girl’s parents aren’t around.”

  Back at the station Jong-in started working on the CCTV footage while Baek-hyun went to update Jun-myeon.

“Hey, boss...”, he knocked on the frosted glass window, but didn’t wait for a reply before he opened the door. Jun-myeon was on the phone, but gestured for Baek-hyun to come in.

“...twisted baguettes, not ordinary ones, got it. Bye, love” he said, hung up and shared one of his life lessons with Baek-hyun “happy wife, happy life. Now, how’d it go?” Baek-hyun ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.

 “As expected, I’d say. They were worried, but it hasn’t been that long. We’re gonna run down some leads they gave us before calling it a day”.

“Okay, sounds good. And Jong-in?”

“Yeah, he did good, boss. And he likes my girl”, Baek-hyun smiled.

“Ah, Byun-ah..!”, Jun-myeon exclaimed “That’s why you like him, ‘cus he likes your car..!”

Baek-hyun choked a smile “No, he’s good, honestly. But why does he get to be “Jong-in” while I’m still my surname?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow. Jun-myeon countered by raising both brows.

“Because I don’t want nine guys in my office every time I ask for Kim, is why he’s “Jong-in”...”. Baek-hyun clicked his tongue and pointed at Jun-myeon.

“Got it. Well, I’m gonna do some digging with the time I’ve got left”, he said and stood up.

“You’re a star player, Byun. Fighting!”, Jun-myeon said jokingly as Baek-hyun closed the door.

                                           ¤¤¤

  Baek-hyun and Jong-in had punched out after checking off their list. There wasn’t much to see, really; the assistant, Michelle, hadn’t seen Min-young so she couldn’t offer much assistance, ironically enough. And as far as Sehun goes, he seemed to be harmless; no citations, no odd-ball photos or rants on the internet...just a guy. Nonetheless, Baek-hyun had begun to feel a touch uneasy about the whole thing, so after shutting the engine off in the driveway he called the precinct and asked the officer on the night shift to send a request for Min-young’s�� phone records. 

Better safe than sorry, he said to himself. Locking the car door was his queue to give his work mind a rest, and it wasn’t hard to do when he saw the note on his front door: 17.25 You have a houseguest, B!(Cover shift) It was signed with a winking smiley inside the O of the name “Veró”. Baek-hyun chuckled, spirits lifted. He had barely opened the door before a little corgi was upon him, tap-dancing around his feet with bright eyes. Baek-hyun put his blazer on a valet stand and bent down to greet his guest.

“Well, hi there, Mongi..! What are you doing here?” he said while playfully wrestling with the dog “Did you tell mommy to drop you of at the fun house?” He looked at his watch; an hour ago. “We might as well go out now, nugget. And then it’s dinner for the both of us - I’m famished!”. 

  With his parents living a couple of hours away, having Veró and Mongi was a real blessing to him. It’s not every day you meet someone you’re almost a hundred percent comfortable with; may it be in silence, changing clothes, physical interaction, crying or ugly laughing. Veró (short for Verónica) had moved in next door almost three years ago, and they instantly hit it off. Well, it wasn’t the right hit at first. They had dated for about four months when they both realized that they weren’t lovers’ material. The reason they felt exceedingly comfortable with each other was because they were best friends. They called it quits on the romantic part and now hung out as just friends; dinners, talks through the night, even sleepovers - and of course the semi-shared custody of Veró’s dog Mongi. Baek-hyun had fallen in love with him the first time he saw him, and insisted she name him Mongryong, but Veró was dead set on “Miguel”, a latin singer, or “the sun of Mexico” as she called him. They ended up having a marathon of games and soju to decide who would get the honours, and to Veró’s dismay Baek-hyun won, and the rest is history. 

  Since Veró left so late he knew she was covering for someone from the night shift and therefore didn’t expect her to be back until early morning at best, so after dinner they both curled up in bed: Mongi with a bone and Baek-hyun with the latest issue of Journal of Forensic Sciences.

“The things they can find out with forensics these days, Mongi, I tell ya...” Baek-hyun sighed, and Mongi looked at him, breathing heavily from his ferocious battle with the bone. “That’s right, pay attention, so you don’t go out in the streets acting like a fool.” He put the magazine on the nightstand as well as taking off his t-shirt before turning off the light - the queue for Mongi to curl up in the crook of Baek-hyun’s knees. 

“Good night, nugget.”  

APRIL 18th

  Baek-hyun was the quintessential morning person, so when the alarm went off at 06.00 he immediately got up. The same could not be said about Mongi.

“Rise and shine, Mongi. Time to do some laps”, Baek-hyun cooed while putting on his sweats. But it would take the sound of food being prepared for Mongi to bounce out in to the kitchen. 

“You try it every time, and I tell you every time: walk, then food.” 

  The air was chilly, a typical late spring morning, and there was an overcast hinting rain would come before long. He may not look it, but the dog was a top runner, so Baek-hyun could jog at a pace that made his heart rate go up a few notches, all the way down to the river, about twenty minutes away. He stopped by a drinking fountain, giving Mongi a few palms of water and splashed his face and water-combed his hair back. The clouds had lifted by the horizon, and the sunrise stained the clouds a yellowy apricot and Baek-hyun took it all in; these precious still and silent mornings were the favourite part of his day. He felt a tug on the leash, so he snapped out of it and they started back home for breakfast and a shower.

  He wrapped a towel around his waist, draped a second one over his shoulders and made his way to the kitchen. A lot of Baek-hyun’s colleagues ate at work, but he preferred to have a quiet breakfast at home before all the hustle and bustle, so he sat down with his cup of black coffee and rye porridge. He was halfway through his meal when his phone rang, so his slippered feet shuffled to the bedroom:

“A call this early is never good, boss.” He sat down on the bed with a sinking feeling.

“Sorry, Byun. We’ve got a body, female. Under Pioneer’s Bridge. She hasn’t been identified, but…” Jun-myeon paused.

“You think it might be her.”

[kisnet]

Memories of a lifetime I have many memories throughout my life, some happy and some sad. During the 1970's growing up I remember we used to look after a beautiful female foxterrier whom belonged to our next door neighbour, her name was Suzi. This was my first best friend and it felt like she was my dog as we used to take her in quite often when our neighbours went on holiday. One sunny day it was late in the afternoon and the neighbours facing our front door had a red brick wall next to their house and I was over by the neighbour playing with their kids outside in the garden. I decided I was gonna climb this wall cos being a young small boy I was always very curious and up for a challenge as to find out what certain things would be like after exploring them. So I climbed the wall and found out in no time that this wall was not sturdy (cement plastered) and gave way as soon as I climbed it. It collapsed in an instant and I had got such a fright but after sustaining some minor bruises on my leg. My ego was the biggest injury I sustained though, 😂 😂. At the age of 4 I had an accident after falling into hot tub and sustained a fair amount of burns to my body as described in 'my life story'. I also had a great fear of heights and at the age of 11 or 12, I went to a school friend's house and his dad was also in the military. They had a huge trampoline in the backyard and always enjoyed playing and jumping on it as a kid the few times I did visit them. They also had a big old tree in their backyard and they had a wooden platform fitted across some of the tree branches (tree house) high up in the tree. So I climbed up the tree and attempted to move across to another tree branch and my hand slipped of the tree branch and I fell to the ground flat onto my back approximately 3 to 4 metres down. I had some pain but it was more so the shock of that moment as I could not believed what had just happened. I swiftly got up and walked home crying. Whilst living in the southern suburbs and after getting my first BMX bicycle for Christmas in 1983 or 1984, I had my personal transport and couldn't wait exploring other areas outside of our home suburb. So I would choose a day during the school holidays and during the week and go out for the day on a trip with my BMX which was very adventurous to me. So I would plan the day in advance and get everything ready for my day trip out to areas like Kirstenbosch, Constantia, Newlands public swimming pool, Wynberg military base where we had lived previously and my mom would make me a bunch of sandwiches that I'd take with on my travels. I would also have a 2 litre Coca-Cola or Fanta orange and some sweets with a small amount of money to buy something in addition to my cold drink and picnic foods I already had. Some times I would take a friend with me to enjoy my travels in and around Cape Town's southern suburbs. Many times my mom and my brother and myself would take a trip to town taking the train into Cape Town which I was always very exciting to me because I loved the train rides as a kid. We would spend the day in Cape Town walking the streets up and down and end up doing shopping 🛒 in The Golden Acre and having lunch upstairs in the restaurant in the OK (now Shoprite). As a family we would sometimes travel to family either in the Eastern Cape and / or the Transvaal. I used to love the long trips although they were few and far between. Nevertheless it was a blast and we would stop along the way and my mom had made chicken and cooked potatoes along with some rice and other veggies. We would also have pudding which consisted of instant pudding and jellies all pre-packed into a picnic packed set of containers my dad purchased especially for the long trips during the holidays. As a small boy I was very close to my mom but later years things changed as I then got closer to my dad as I was rebellious as I grew older and had many clashes with my mom but would later years get better over the years as got used to it but never stopped loving my mom. There would be certain words exchanged which I would later regret as I still very naive and still had alot to learn still about life in general. My dad was a very strict straight forward person and did not stand for any nonsense whatsoever. If you didn't listen, he would merely lift his big hands and take a good hard swing at us and you know what you have done wrong and believe me, it did not tickle. It hurt like hell. Those were the good ole days and I never regret my upbringing ever. It taught me respect and improved my character as a person. One day my dad sent me down to the garage to collect some potatoes as it was kept in the garage. I would always get in my dad's car and play with the car switches until one day snapped the cable that unlocked the bonnet. My dad was very enraged and he gave me good beating as a result. He had to spend money to have it repaired. As a ruling because of similar events that resulted in things breaking, I stopped fiddling with other people's property as I was always curious what a button on a radio or some or other piece of equipment would do had I pressed it. It would always end up breaking something or something falling and breaking, so I eventually learned my lesson as a kid and stopped messing with stuff that either didn't belong to me or did not apply to me. Memories with my Dad (Adolf) As a kid I didn't spend much time with my dad as he wasn't always the emotional type but loved him to bits always. The times we did get to spend together, was always very special to me. When I was still very small, my mom used to buy a magazine on a weekly basis which had a kids magazine inside and one afternoon on the weekend my dad had me lying next to him on his bed and he read some of the stories out of the kids magazine to me. In 1989 I had written my exams after studying part time at Cape College 3x a week. Me and my dad came from town for some or other reason. I was over something but my dad comforted me as we approached the military base to return to work as I was busy with my military service at the age of 18. Well he turned around right there and then as I had mentioned to him that I didn't find out what my results were after writing exams and wasn't sure whether I had failed or passed. We arrived back in town at the college and I went upstairs to get my results. I came back downstairs and got in back into the car and told my dad I passed. My dad was in tears instantly as he heard that I passed. We drove back to work and that was one of the very special times together with my dad. It's these memories that makes thoughts and happy moments like this make remember my dad as my hero. He was hard on the exterior but very much a softy on the inside. In 1988 it was my last year at school and I had finished school although I failed, I was with school as I wanted to get on with my life. I think my dad was off that day and we went somewhere as it was a weekday and school was done. We went for a drive down to Fish Hoek and Simonstown and my dad showed me and told me alot of his past during when he was stationed in Simonstown. He went to show me where the house stood where he lived many years ago with his first wife and where he also had lived prior to Simonstown in Fish Hoek in a flat. That building still stands today. I went back to that building when I was still mourning my dad's death during the nineties just like I remembered the day he showed me the building, where he lived many years prior to that day, as I was reliving that time in my mind and was trying to picture myself back in the time frame my was living there. This was one of the ways I dealt with father's passing. The drive we took in December 1988 I will always remember as one of the highlights in my life. My dad and I spent alot of time together at home when he would repair something like the stove, washing machine door locks and general maintenance around the house and I had learnt alot from those times. I would often fix the vaccuum cleaner when needed some minor repairs with knowledge I was taught by my dad. In 1993 after my dad had fallen ill, I went away on holiday for about two weeks and when I arrived back home my dad was in tears to see me and so I hugged him and told him "don't worry I'm home now" I miss my dad like mad and wish he was still here on earth with me. Memories with my Mom (Christine) I was a mommy's boy when I was a small kid as I was the youngest and probably got away with alot. But those were my favourite years as well cos I used to get alot of attention from my mom. I spent most of my time with my mom as my dad was at work all day. So my mom would walk me to school and then I would get so lonely because I saw my mom walk away going home after dropping me off at school and felt very vulnerable and would burst into tears 😭 but over time it got better and I got used to school. My mom left to attend her brother's kmy uncle) funeral in Pretoria and I would be alone with my dad but missed my mom so much. Then when she got home after about a week I was overwhelmed with excitement and could not wait to see her after I got home from school that day. I always felt my protected me when I was still very small. My mom was my everything at that point in my life. My mom and I used to play alot of games and jokes over the years even until shortly before she passed away we had our little games and jokes we used to play ▶. My mom told me quite alot about her mother (my grandmother) and I wished I had known her. Memories with friends During my lifetime I met and have had some great friends. I would like to name two of them. Their names are Damian and Chris. I met Damian and Chris in 1991 and we formed a bond as friends and used to spend alot of good times together like having parties, braai and go drive around or go watch stock cars at the old Goodwood show grounds. As a small boy I didn't have many friends as I was very shy and didn't like strangers. It was almost like I used protect myself in that regard. It was only after I was working my first job and had my first car that I started wondering farther then just work and home. I got introduced to alcohol and over the years drinking got worse when I would visit friends or attend a party etc. After a very bad experience with alcohol in February 2009, I decided that this was the last time I would ever touch alcohol and stopped smoking, drinking as well as drinking sodas. That was a wake up call for me and a turning point in my life. Everything changed for me that time. The two friends that always stood by me through thick and thin has been Chris and Damian. Chris was there for me for emotional support when my dad passed away in April 1995. Damian has been there for me as well many times since my mom passed away and helped me with lots of different things in life over the years even before my mom's passing. These are two friends I regard very highly as my own family.