#also thank u for those who did the poll i think i might do a small series of two fics

[donghuamuqing]

Need byclair soooooo bad rn

[camelliagwerm]

okay so i realised the last ask game i reblogged would be perfectly suited to a poll :) and i think polls are fun :) Speculative routes under the cut so some of the lesser talked about OCs get a chance vs. say, the popular ones.

(Note: I did not include everyone as I figured some of these would overlap significantly, and each one would need something a bit unique about them. Sorry Byron)

Leonelle (she/her, human, lesbian, 25) — to win the pretty, petty (and a little bit pathetic) Chelish Diva's heart, you must understand she has a lot of baggage from being raised in a strict household with a Cardinal of Asmodeus for a father. She is angry, a bit immature, a bundle of nerves, but she is also vivacious, charming, and eager to explore thanks to her newfound freedom. She is also very opinionated when it comes to matters of the arts, particularly as a Chelish trained bard. Expect events at the opera but also... patricide :)

Valerius (he/him, dhampir, bisexual, 57) — a tyrant, a scion to a family fallen on hard times, a silver tongued prince. Valerius has been called many things, but the most accurate of them all is to call him a beautiful, honourable parasite. He keeps to his word, even if he may twist it to suit his agenda. He worships a goddess of gluttony and undeath, and understanding this is key to thawing his icy heart. Decadent dinners, blood rituals, cannibalism, obssession. A quintessential gothic romance awaits.

Magni (they/he, dwarf, polyamorous & queer, 27) — once, Magni was the favoured Prince of King Endrin Aeducan, and then it all went to hell. After being found guilty of fratricide (he did do it), they have become a Grey Warden on the surface. Ruthless, pragmatic and a political aspirant, Magni is open to a relationship of any kind - open or closed.

Arthur (he/him, human, biromantic asexual (sex favourable), 50) — dilf enjoyers, this is potentially one for you. Calm and compassionate, but grieving, Arthur's heart is mending after the loss of his previous partner and he might be ready for love again. He keeps his noble upbringing well but doesn't put on airs, instead using his position to try levy a better life for those suffering. Rank does not matter if one is in his care. Also comes with a beagle called Chutney.

Leto (he/him, human, pan & demiace, 23) — a young Navy Officer from the Navis Imperialis, Leto has never had much interest in people, preferring his star charts and travel journals instead. But with the right person, he might feel the stirring of something, and more inclined to go by the old courting manuals than think of something outside of the box.

Veszeth (they/them, drow bhaalspawn, aro lesbian, 62) — to court the Dark Urge is to court death. After all, Veszeth means bloody obssession. Flesh taker. They will keep you at arm's length, fighting against their nature just to love you. But that love is a twisted thing, warped by their perception of what love is by their quasi-divine father. Unless you manage to give them the courage to fight back against their destiny before it is too late, then this will be a tragedy. Thee Toxic Yuri Route™️

Luminița (she/her, changeling, demisexual lesbian, 26) — as a cleric of Pharasma who has spent her life being raised, tutored and working in Lepidstadt's graveyards, Lumi is a light and a balm to those who grieve for their departed loved ones. Patient, kind, and with a strong moral character. She will heal those who surrender to her, but allow no quarter against the enemies of her goddess and can have as much of a biting tongue as those who might test her patience. Expect tension if you were in any form sympathetic to the undead, but that makes the relationship all the juicier. Just don't worry too much about her hag mother coming to Call.

[cuddlesslut]

Part Seven: Regrets

Atsumu x fem reader, Suna x rem reader, Hinata x fem reader

A/N: guess who’s fridge went out and won’t be able to get a new one till the 15th 🙋🏻‍♀️😩. Sorry this chapter is shorter than usual it’s kind of a filler But next chapter should be pretty long. I know a couple of people were wonder what happened with him so here we are with the return of a character. I might set up a poll for who should YN end up with so look out for that. I’m going to start writing my next story soon it’s going to be another angst!

Warning: Angst that’s about it. Maybe a lil lewd language.

Part Six: Promises

Part Eight: Hope

He laid in his empty bed staring up at his ceiling the only sound filtering through the room was the echo of the tv in the livingroom. He didn’t have the energy to go shut it off, plus he found comfort the noise it brought he found the silence unbearable. He sighed as he looked at the open space next to him. He never took much stock in how empty it felt without you next to him. The smell of your shampoo had long since vanished from the pillows. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine you were here next to him your head resting on his chest your hands interwoven talking about your plans for the day but while the memory played in his head clear as day his body had forgotten your warmth. It wasn’t too hard to picture , you had spent several morning just like that wrapped in each other’s embrace. He thinks to the mornings he’d walk out of his early showers to find you leaning against the kitchen counter drinking your morning coffee. He can still remember how you enjoyed your first cup of coffee to start your day. You liked your coffee sweet , but to were you could still taste the rich coffee flavor, always pairing it with an array of creamers. He remembers when you first started staying over at his place and he realized your affinity for flavored coffee he went out to the store and stocked up on as many flavors he could find in hopes you’d stay for more coffee before heading off to school. He loved that sight in the morning walking out and seeing you clad in just his shirt your hair a mess from last nights activities. But you weren’t here to have coffee in the morning, all of the creamers starting to expire, and he had no one to blame but himself.

Atsumu has spent the last seven month alone. There were a few nights he’d tried to pick up girls just to try and fill the gigantic hole left in his life by your absence but those all ended in disaster. One night he tried to have a careless hook up it didn’t get past the front door when he accidentally moaned your name when the random girl had cupped his manhood. She wasn’t very happy about that. He received a knee to the groin as she fleed the house. Another time he tried he was able to keep his mouth shut from making any mistakes after choosing a girl who was nothing like you but then he had another problem. He couldn’t get it up. You plagued his thoughts. You were the only woman his body wanted. It was quite embarrassing.

After Suna rocked his shit he finally started to snap out of his self pity. Why the hell was he crying? Because he was lonely? He can only imagine how lonely you felt every night he didn’t come home. He sighs running his hands down his face he really was a piece of shit he thinks. He didn’t treat you the way you deserved and he knows that. He knows he was selfish and inconsiderate. He knows he’s way to late but he regrets everything he did. Every single mistake eats away at him. None of it was worth it. Every flirt, every compliment that boosted his ego, the rush of excitement of being with someone else it was all worthless compared to being with you. He thinks back to everynight he stayed out late or he canceled dates, about the pain that hid behind your eyes. Now that his head wasn’t stuck up his ass he could finally see all of the misery he put you through. And he hated himself for it.

The setter wanted nothing more that to fix all of his mistakes, but he knew he was too late. Atsumu didn’t expect you to ever in a thousand years forgive him or even in a million years want him back, but he knows he can’t just do nothing. He’d spend the rest of his days trying to make amends. After Suna had pointed out how horrible he was for not looking for you he did everything to find you. He started by calling the University to see if you had been attending class but even with the title of fiancé , which he understood was false by not adding former to the title, they refused him any information to protect your privacy. He had long noticed the empty bank account but he wasn’t worried about that the money it was the least you deserved. Plus the fantasy of making you his wife and calling you YN Miya was nothing but a pipe dream now. So he’s sure the money would do you better. He tried to follow any money trail you left. He found the hotel that you must have run to that night. But even that was a bust leading to a dead end. He only knew one more course of action. He called your parents. They refused to answer his calls. Eventually he drove down to Hyogo by himself. The setter stood there on the front steps he’d stand on every morning when he’d walk you to school. It felt so familiar to knock on the cedar door, but everything felt so distant from his memories. Still he wasn’t quite sure what he expected, maybe for you to answer the door with a bright smile like you had all those years ago yet what he received was your mother standing there with a look of disgust present. He didn’t get a word in before she slammed the door in his face. He begged for her come back to please talk to him he just needed answers but he only received silence. He stayed there for close to an hour trying to get just a morsel of information. It was useless they refused to speak to him. That was his last idea he could come up with for finding you. Full of dread he made his way to his car ready to make the long drive home. The next day he received a phone call from his brother.

“Hey Samu what’s u-” the blonde started before his grey haired twin interrupted his greeting going straight to the point.

“She’s alive and fine,” Atsumus heart stuttered before he breathed a sigh of relief. He opened his mouth to ask his next question but Osamu cut him off yet again already knowing what his twin was going to ask.

“No we don’t know where she is. Kita-Senpai went to her parents and all they’d state was she was alive and out of harm, not that I’d tell you where she is if I knew,” Osamu’s tone was sharp. Atsumu knew he deserved that. His brother had made him well aware of his dissatisfaction in the blondes actions. He had to thank the his brother though, as upset he was with him he still looked out for him. Always checking up on him making sure he was eating and keeping up with his hygiene, throwing away all the liquor he could find because as disappointed he was with Atsumu he couldn’t let him tear himself apart.

“I know Samu, thank you for telling me.” He spoke softly before clicking the end call button.

He accepted that it was best he stayed out of your life. He wanted to make everything up to you and if staying out of your life was wanted then he’d respect your wishes. He spent the next months bettering himself. He cut all alcohol out of his life. Only going out when it was with his teammates although that was a rare occurrence they were also quite disappointed with how he had treated you, especially his wing spiker Sakusa. Omi-Omi had always had a soft spot for you. But still they didn’t let it affect their game play. He focused all of his energy on volleyball. He even started going to a few therapy sessions for his self distructive behaviors and impulses. He really wanted to do and be better if not for you then for himself. Although he still had trouble being home alone without you, never feeling quite whole. With out you this house would never truly be his home again. He was starting to get better and not drown in agony every morning he woke up alone although he knew he deserved it. One step that had made the process easier was boxing up the remainder of your belongings that you had left. For so long he had kept everything just as you left it hopeful for your return thinking maybe everything could go back to normal and life could be picked up where it was left off although this time he’d swear to never hurt you again. It was unrealistic to think that though. His therapist had told his several times it was a step he needed to take and while it took several months he was finally able to remove any trace from the house. That night he cried him self to sleep from the finality that came from not seeing a piece of you around as though you had never been there in the first place.

He regretted not cherishing you for the amazing woman you are. He’ll never forgive himself for losing the best thing to everything to happen to him. At Seven months since that night he was finally able to breath when he went home, not suffocating from regret every moment present in those walls. The Jackals were on a winning streak and even more exciting they had just got a new member. And after all these years he was able to hold up at least one promise he had made after breaking so many at least he could fulfill one promise by finally getting to set for Shoyo Hinata.

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[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[genesisrose74]

Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita

Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Kageyama

This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg

He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit

But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible

Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him

Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before

Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it

And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do

Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous

“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”

🥺🥺🥺 bubby

“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”

Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill

He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder

Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations

As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise

But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life

And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle

FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT

That shit is rare

Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun

You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore

And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it

It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday

His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—

Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute

He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism

Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it

Hinata

He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell

Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over

Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then

He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL

If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately

He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺

Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it

It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially

Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is

New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way

You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened

Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨

Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)

“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’

“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”

He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY

Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))

It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household

She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly

In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima

His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive

You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house

While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys

Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present

Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL

You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS

“Tsukki, how did you—?”

“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”

b r u h

How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??

As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift

His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year

Yes the dinos have names

You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last

It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric

Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him

He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist

Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs

The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima

His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift

But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist

“Thank you.”

You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”

Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍

But on the inside your body was in freak out mode

He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk

Yamaguchi

Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine

And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top

That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama

Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally

For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must

Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there

Stomach aches? I don’t know her

Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰

Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason

He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide

It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master

You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨

But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you

He’s such a sweetheart uwu

Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present

You know those long distance bracelets for couples?

Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them

This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present

It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face

And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle

“Hey there”

It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours

GOD HE IS SO CUTE

He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️

Kinoshita

This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic

Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt

It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays

He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe

Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi

He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space

And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town

Yeah you heard me

A fuckin’ sleigh ride

Horses and blankets and everything

Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer

Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈

Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride

I legitimately simp really hard for him

Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun

On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless

But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned

He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot

Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love

Narita

Another underrated bby 🥺

He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family

Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations

Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley

Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work

You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing

He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs

Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once

So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised

There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out

Really adorable I cannot lie

“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”

“I might have maybe lied :P”

So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you

Y’all stay there and talk for hours

After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously

“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”

“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”

And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe

You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour

He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever

“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”

It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle

He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does

In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰

[yukipri]

On the Baratie, Prologue - a One Piece Mermaid AU Text Story

Thanks to everyone who sent in their opinion on the East Blue stories poll! I think Sanji’s had the most, so we’re starting off with more Baratie!

While there’ll be a continuation, here’s a bit of prelude, because they need a different reason to go to the Baratie. The ASL Pirates already have a cook after all!

Like a prologue to On the Baratie, Part 1

~~

When Thatch makes up his mind to accompany Ace back to East Blue, he knows that there's one place he wants to visit no matter what.

He's only been to East Blue once, and it was honestly ages ago, and he doubts there'll be another chance in the near future. Not many opportunities to visit the weakest Blue as a commander in an Emperor's crew, after all.

And while Thatch doubts he'd travel halfway around the world for the sole purpose of visiting this spot, he's lucky. Because on this particular trip, it's practically along the way. They're passing right by the area on their way back to re-entering the Grand Line, so there's no way in hell he's letting this slip by.

It's the only request Thatch has made on this journey, and Ace and Luffy, who are the Captains and therefore technically get to decide where they go, have no objections. Luffy's already bobbing up and down in excitement, despite their guides estimating that they still have a ways to go.

"The Baratie, huh," Ace grins. "Never heard of it, we didn't pass by our first time through, did we Deuce?"

"You've never heard of it because you lived in the middle of nowhere, in a jungle with barely any contact with human civilization," Deuce says pointedly. "Most people in East Blue at least know of it, it's kinda famous."

Ace just shrugs, and Luffy whoops as the movement of his shoulders momentarily boosts her higher. Ace indulges her and repeats the movement more aggressively until she's bouncing, and Deuce sighs. The two captains' attentions have shifted, and now they're preoccupied by the most important topic of all: food.

"Food~!" Luffy sings, hopping from one arm to the other as Ace switches to spinning her around, and Deuce has to duck to avoid her tail. "Yummy yummy food at a restaurant! It's gonna be amazing!"

"It really will be amazing, if Zeff hasn't lost his touch," Thatch agrees, and Luffy and Ace cheer. "I've never eaten at this restaurant of his, but I was a fan of the Cook Pirates when I was a kid." 

His expression darkens, and Ace stills, recalling that Thatch mentioned they all died or something.

"Sucks what happened to them," Ace offers.

But Thatch just shrugs. It was around a decade ago, and shit happens out at sea. "I'm just glad Zeff survived. He'll have trained the new cooks well, and it'll be funny to see the old man actually settled down as a civilian."

Thatch was still a teen the last time he saw Zeff, who was Captain of the infamous Cook Pirates back in the day. They were always picking fights, and picked the wrong one with Pops, and predictably lost. Pops let them live, and they had a grand party, and Thatch remembers being captivated by their culinary expertise.

Thatch chuckles to himself, and the two brothers look at him curiously, blinking with adorably similar expressions.

"I just remembered, Zeff tried to scout me. Pops wasn't thrilled."

Ace barks a laugh, hefting Luffy into a more comfortable position before she suddenly squirms out of his arms. Luffy makes a grabby motion towards Thatch, and Ace obligingly if reluctantly moves closer to let her swing up onto the taller man's shoulders.

Thatch perks up at the sudden attention, because it's not every day that the little mermaid chooses to climb someone other than her brother. Thatch knows she doesn't need it, but offers her a hand to get settled more comfortably, which she takes with a pleased little purring sound that makes his heart skip a beat. Thatch pointedly doesn't look at Ace, but he can still feel his burning gaze.

He's not sure what prompted the sudden transport transfer, but suddenly Luffy's leaning forward over his shoulder to peer directly into his face, and she's close. Thatch tries very hard not to blush.

"But if the Zeff-dude cooks are that good, are they better than you, Thatch?" Luffy asks, eyes wide. "That can't be right, because Thatch's food is the best in the world! Better than even Makino's!"

Those words do make Thatch flush crimson, and Ace snorts. Thatch ignores him, too busy trying to control the warmth bubbling up inside his chest.

Thatch doesn't think he's arrogant, but he also isn't unused to his food being praised. As ungrateful as most of his brothers back aboard the Moby usually are, he's still the head chef who leads the culinary division of their entire fleet, and it's a position he's earned. He's personally trained and assigned all of the cooks on every Whitebeard ship. He knows he cooks well.

But there's something special about Luffy's unique brand of painfully genuine praise. Even though they've been traveling together for a few weeks now, she never gets bored of singing her appreciation at every mealtime with, if anything, increasing enthusiasm. It's like every time is her first time trying his food. Thatch in no way needs her compliments to adore her, he was besotted far before she even knew he was a cook, but boy does he appreciate them, and he doubts he'll ever really get used to them.

Thatch has been called the "Best Cook in the World" by many, and he'd accepted their words politely. But to hear them from Luffy feels like the highest honor he can ever attain.

Thatch feels unbearably fond as he reaches up to fluff Luffy's hair, and she leans into his hand, eyes curving up into slits like a happy kitten, her tail curling back and forth at his back.

Ace cheerfully ruins their moment.

"We'll just have to see, Lu, and maybe if you like their cooking better, we can ditch Thatch and kidnap one of their cooks." Ace leers like the evil little shit he is, and Thatch gasps with exaggerated indignation.

"No, no!" Luffy boos her brother, clinging to Thatch like he's the embodiment of all the meals Ace had threatened she'd lose, before she swings her tail around to smack at Ace none too gently until he grudgingly raises his arms in surrender.

"If we like their cooking, then we can keep Thatch AND kidnap one of their cooks!"

"Lil Seastar, you're not satisfied with just me, even if my food is the best in the world?" Thatch teases, and sticks his tongue out at Ace when he scowls. The young Captain isn't so thrilled with Thatch's new nickname for his baby brother, and Thatch thinks it's fair revenge for him being mean. 

"Thatch's food is the best!" Luffy cries again, and Thatch glows. "But if we steal a Zeff, then we have two cooks, which means more food!" She nods, pleased with her conclusion. "More food is always good!"

Well, she's a little confused, but her point is made. They hopefully won't steal Zeff himself, as Thatch doubts he'll be happy to part with his beloved restaurant, but perhaps nabbing one of his assistants isn't a terrible idea.

While handling even Ace and Luffy's appetites is no problem for Thatch, who's used to feeding the entire Moby Dick, some company in the kitchen might not be bad.

(And, a voice whispers in his head, that they'll need a cook that Thatch approves of when he inevitably has to leave to return to Pops. It's a voice Thatch ignores, so that he can enjoy this moment, for now.)

~~

~~

I don't think it's actually ever officially stated whether Thatch's Division is actually in charge of dining, but there are other divisions that are specified, so I thought it would be interesting, so I made it that way ^ ^;

(Edit: Actually it IS explicitly stated that the 4th Division is in charge of dining, this is canon and not just a headcanon whee~!)

And if Thatch as the head of the cooking division, then to me it makes sense that he'd be insanely good at it, not just your average chef. Because I mean, they're the Whitebeard pirates. And sure, they're not as food-centric as the Big Mom Pirates, but the WBs always have quality. Cooking, I feel, is a lot more subjective than say, "Strongest Swordsman in the World" but I don't think it'd be a stretch to say that Thatch is Up There.

This isn't at all to shit on canon!Sanji or his cooking which is probably also insanely good, but Sanji's a lot younger, and the places he's been, the people he's learned from, and the people he's cooked for are far more limited. He, like everyone else, is learning rapidly by stepping out into a far larger world.

Thatch, in comparison, has been on the Grand Line for a loooooong time, traveling with the most infamous crew currently in existence, and probably has picked up a LOT of things from a lot of people. While he doesn't have an official canon age, given the ages of the other Commanders (Marco 45; Jozu 42; Vista 47), I'm putting him at 41 here. That's decades of difference in experience.

It's one of the reasons why I think exploring Thatch and Sanji's mentor-rival relationship in this AU could be so much fun, because think of how much Sanji could grow with someone like Thatch in the crew.

Luckily, Sanji's dream is to find All Blue, not to defeat the cooking equivalent of Mihawk in Iron Chef Grand Line, so outside of fighting for the heart of the love of their lives, I think they can get along quite well ^ ^;

(also do u like his nickname for Lu. I had to consult a friend. But I think it's beginning to stick for me ^ ^;)

As always, any thoughts or comments make my day! Thanks for reading <3

❀ ❀ Send YukiPri an Ask! ❀ ❀

Read the next part: 👒🐟On the Baratie, Part 1

~This ask has been added to the Mermaid AU Text Headcanons Compilation post~

[xxisxxisxxis]

Deleted Scene: Gateway Drug

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"Fool Me Once" -- [1987] 

I run a hand through my done-up hair, snagging it on hairsprayed strands, wincing. 

"Thank you for coming today, I know you're busy as busy can be but you made time for this, so, we appreciate it." Danielle tells me me as I sit down and she readies her notepad and pen, switching her recorder on to tape audio.

"No problem." I reply, glancing at Duff in the corner by the door. 

"I know this might be a little strange but I always like to start my interviews off with a icebreaker, if that's okay?" She offers. 

"No, that's fine." I tell her, getting more comfortable in my chair. 

"This philosophy we've been trying to pan out in some of our shoots is the difference between beautiful and sexy, and explore that notion and gauge if people even think there is a difference, so my question for you is: do you think there is a difference between 'sexy' and 'beautiful' and which would you rather be?" 

"Oh, my God, okay." I breathe out, laughing, and she joins me. 

"You said 'okay' so I asked." She reminds me and I nod. 

"Beautiful implies to more than just outward appearance, it applies to someone's soul and their spirit, their attitude, how they carry themselves, how they treat others, whereas 'sexy' literally means sexually exciting which is usually based on looks mostly." I point out. 

"Okay, and I also asked which you'd rather be--or which one you think you are." She rewords it. 

"You sure did, um…" I already know my answer, but don't want to make it seem like I want someone to tell me I'm pretty. "...I don't…" I sigh and she looks like she's dying to hear my answer, and so is Duff. "I'm pretty." I reply and she furrows her brows. "I mean, I think I'm decently pretty. I've been called beautiful before but I still have a lot to work on within myself before I feel comfortable with that. But I appreciate it when I'm called that." 

"And what about 'sexy'?" 

"Oh, no. I'm not." I say it matter of fact, and she looks stumped. 

"What?" 

"I mean, if I try I probably can be but just everyday I don't see myself as 'sexy'." 

Duff's laughter quickly erupts, and I look at him to see his hand on his mouth to stifle it before he clears his throat. 

"Sorry." He mumbles to Danielle when she looks back at him before turning back to me. 

"I assure you, Vivian, you are a very sexy, very beautiful woman." She promises. 

"Thank you." I smile shyly at her.

"Okay, I was wanting to talk about you a little bit because I feel like people know who you are but not much about you other than what's, I guess, painted on you in a certain way, so if you would tell me who Vivian Sixx is." She crosses her legs, brushing a hair from her eyes as she patiently awaits my answer. 

"Oh, gosh, nobody's asked me that, yet." I blurt, thinking for a moment as she brushes my comment off with a small giggle. "Um," Nikki Sixx's wife, maybe?, "to be honest I'm not sure." I chuckle out, rubbing my lips together. And she looks at me like she fucking pitties me. I force myself to save this close-call shitshow, giving Duff another look and he gives me an encouraging thumbs up as he mouths, "you got this." 

"I dance." I let out, and she raises her brows. "Ballet, not stripping." I clarify. "I have since I could walk." 

"You've never considered a professional career in it?" She asks me next. 

"I was going to but then plans changed and I put off school. But I do plan on going back and finishing at some point." I explain. 

"Did those plans involve your marriage?" She questions and I chuckle a little. 

"I got pregnant--or I thought I got pregnant. It wasn't until after we got married that I found out it was a false positive." I admit. "And I'm sure people are going to say that I was never pregnant, that I was just trying to trap Nikki in a marriage but that's bullcrap because nobody can 'trap' Nikki or make him do something he doesn't want to do, so..." 

"I can’t see him doing anything he doesn’t already want to do.” She agrees with a smile, glancing down at her notes before clearing her throat. “On the lines of Playboy, being that some of our executives saw you in the music video for ‘Girls, Girls, Girls’, you were voted ‘easiest on the eyes’ in this past weeks poll out of eighty-two other women.” She informs me and I raise my brows. “Does stuff like that flatter you or do you see it as misogynistic?”

“Well, um, firstly, I’m sure glad you said ‘on the eyes’ because I was about to ask you who started the survey and where do they live?” I reply and she laughs. “So, I’m glad it wasn’t what I thought it was going to be, but, um…” I lick my lips, letting out a breath. “...I don’t think it’s necessarily misogynistic so I don’t mind it, but I don’t really like the fact that there’s eighty-two other women at risk of feeling less-than now.” I admit. “I appreciate it, though. I’ll take it.”

“You don’t like competition?”

“I do but I’m pitted against women constantly in my personal life or the media tries to, at least, and it’s just stale at this point, you know? It’s stupid.” I rub my forehead.

“Are you referring to what’s recently happened with Vanity?” She blurts and I force myself not to be phased. “Do you have any comment on that particular situation?”

I look at Duff once again, screaming internally while faking a smile.

“It was honestly a misunderstanding.” I lie. “I know we’ve already said it was misunderstanding before but it truly was.”

“Have you spoken to Vanity since?”

“Yes.”

“So, you two are still on good terms, even though she told the world she was engaged to your husband?” She presses more and I brush red hair from my face, trying to keep my tears from growing in my eyes as I see Duff from the corner of my eye, looking at me sympathetically.

“I love her to death.” I say, honestly--even though I shouldn’t love her, I do. Even if she’s a part of the reason my heart broke, I still love her. Even if I’m not acknowledging her existence, I love her. “And I wish and pray nothing but the best for her.” I finish and she grins slightly, knowing she’s getting a good story.

"Is she a woman you've felt like you've needed to compete with?" She asks next, her words hitting me in the gut. 

"Subconsciously, maybe, but I've never gone out of my way to compete with her. I've never had to." 

"What about groupies?" She raises a brow. "Or do you care because you two have been married for a while?" 

"I'm sure a lot of women think, 'oh, I'm married to him so I've won', but I've seen guys take off their wedding rings before walking into a strip club or a bar and leave with three girls under each arm--a marriage doesn't solidify anything we think it does, it should but it doesn't so of course there's been moments where I've been pissed off about women doing everything they can to cross a line but, again, I don't wake up every morning and say, 'what do they have that I don't?' in comparison to groupies. They're termites: they swallow wood, ruin homes, and then it's on to the next." I say and she swallows uncomfortably. 

"Does that not contribute to society's stigmatic view on promiscuous women being 'sluts'?" She asks me. 

"Having sex with people doesn't make a woman, or a man, a slut. Pursuing a taken man or woman, knowing they are taken, makes a slut. Cheating on a significant other makes a slut." I state. 

"What about posing for Playboy while being in a relationship?" She counters. 

"Posing naked doesn't make someone a slut." I defend what I said earlier. 

"Just wanted your view on that since you come from a strict upbringing in the Christian faith, is all." She tells me. "Especially since your mother is bound to hear of all this and probably have plenty to say." 

"I haven't talked to my mother in years so if she has something to say but can't say it directly to my face, it's not worth hearing." I tell her. "My dad is the one I'm antsy about all this happening because of." I feel my skin prickle with nervousness because I never gave much of a thought to my dad seeing me on Playboy. 

"Do you have a good relationship with him?" She asks me, intrigued, and I nod. 

"Yes." I say. "I always will, he's the most important person in my life for sure."

"I think we all thought that'd be Nikki from the way we see you look at him in pictures and in passing." 

"Oh," I say it a little flat, a small inkling of a look coming to her face and before I plant any doubt in her mind, I add, "I'm still completely head-over-heels for him but my dad's always gonna be my number one." 

"Does he and your father get along or does your dad keep his distance, too?"

"No, no, he and my dad get along fine." I assure her. "He really keeps his distance out of respect for my mom, but lately he's been more involved, so...but, no, he doesn't have any problem with Nikki. He really appreciates him and all he's done for me, um, yeah, it's really a blessing they get along." 

At least he did. Before he found out Nikki had an entire mistress...on national television…along with the rest of the country. 

"That is very nice." She agrees. "And what about the other boys, do you get along with them as well?" She refers to Vince, Tommy and Mick. 

"Oh, yeah, absolutely." I rub my lips together.

"Is it true you and Tommy and Vince and our very own Tansy Lyn grew up together?" 

"Yes. I met Tommy in elementary school, and Vince and Tansy in middle school and we've been friends ever since." 

"What are they really like? Outrageous news reports, complaints from parents and the church, girls, parties, drugs and booze aside, what are they authentically like and how do you coincide with them and how has being alongside them from the start of their journey, to now, shaped you?" 

"They seem larger than life and it's hard to see them as anything but that, but I've seen them all be so overwhelmed indescribably with joy, and I've seen them all be completely broken and not know what to do, and I've seen them be piss poor and then have more money than God it seems, but they aren't these huge rockstars behind the scenes. They have diva moments, of course, but Tommy and Vince still act just like the boys they were when I first met them, and the same goes for Nikki and Mick. They act out for publicity, and everything in the press is obviously exaggerated but they're normal guys. They're honestly just regular, gross, messy, disgusting, perverted, immature stinking boys--talented, but still normal." I admit. "And I think the effect it's had on my life is just that I've had to mature faster than maybe I would have because it's like I have children. Like I'm constantly going and someone's going through a crisis whether it's Tommy one day or Vince the next, or whatever so keeping them out of trouble the best I can and then trying to be there and as present as I can be when they need me is stressful but it's rewarding. I like helping out where I can and they need all the help they can get so, it's really helped mature me a little more, I guess, is what I'm trying to say."

"I mentioned earlier their reputation within churches and religious groups and I'm curious as to know how you, as a Christian yourself, feel about songs like 'Shout at the Devil' which really got a rise out of politicians and church-goers everywhere, and most recently 'Wild Side'--which is a song that you are an accredited writer on--that's off of their 'Girls, Girls, Girls' album and is a mockery of the Lord's Prayer?" 

"First of all, to clear this up, I didn't write anything in 'Wild Side', Nikki asked what the Lord's Prayer was and I told him and his brilliant mind gave me a writing credit which will plague me the rest of my life, I suppose, but to answer your question...it's 'Shout at the Devil', not 'Shout with the Devil', therefor it doesn't bother me. Now, 'Wild Side' bothers me. A lot. But that's a way Nikki felt when writing it, and I'm not going to tell him those feelings aren't valid just because I don't feel the same way. That's not fair to him, and I'm certainly not ever going to tell him not to express himself and channel how he feels into his work because that's what makes music and art individual and unique. So, it doesn't matter how I feel. If it makes him happy and he's proud of it then that's that and if I don't like it or don't agree with it or find it insulting to my beliefs then I just, 'forgive him, God, he knows not what he does' and just get over it." 

"Do you think there will be a new 'Filthy Fifteen'?" 

"I would say Tipper Gore and her group of desperate, dry, housewives can go get screwed by other men because their husband's are clearly inadequate but then I suppose they can't find bigger pricks than who they're married to, so..." I blurt and she widens her eyes, a little smirk on her lips as she laughs. 

"I take it you weren't a fan of the censorship?" 

"The only plus side to censorship and stickering everything is that kids know what to play in front of their parents and what to save for themselves." I finish and she chuckles some more. 

I talked some more about marrying so young, what it was like being married to one of the biggest names in rock music at that time and so on, all while hiding the fact that once I left there, I was going to go back to the tour, sleep in a separate room than my husband, not talk to the friends I grew up with who were supposed to have my back, and be so completely miserable.

The moment Duff and I leave the room once I've said goodbye and thanked everyone who was apart of the process for my shoot, I feel lightheaded. 

"Viv?" Duff asks me, concerned, and I take deep breaths, bracing against the wall. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I lie, nodding a little. "Just tired, I think." 

My voice cracks painfully and my tears are already beading at my lashline. 

"Viv, if you need a second--"

"--No, I'm fine. We gotta go." I deny, making myself walk again before he stops me. "Duff…" before I can argue, he's putting his bass down and pulling me to him, hugging me tightly. 

I give up, knowing that he knows me too damn well to buy my shit. 

I wrap my arms around him, burying my face in his chest, feeling my tears, hot against my cheek, soak into the fabric of his t-shirt as the warmth of his lips press comfortingly to my hair. 

[slliest-clownmari]

Hello again! For the month of June we decided to don our best Icarus costumes because we flew directly into the sun on this one! Extra long disclaimer this time. If you're interested in the technical side what we did and how it went wrong, or want to see the raw numbers, that'll be at the bottom of this post!

Disclaimer: There were two major errors during collection. The first one resulted in five people's views not being collected for the first half hour of the event.  These people were SMajor/Noxcrew, ItsFunneh, Squaishey, ASFJerome, and Mefs, amounting to about 56k views when added back. The second error left a 45 minute gap in the data where nothing is collected. While these are major errors general trends are still visible and neat to look at!

TL;DR: MCCP21 peaked with 627.4k viewers a little more than thirty minutes into the event. 65.4% of those viewers were watching the Pink Parrots, and 87.9% of those were watching Technoblade. The second most watched team was the Lime Llamas at 16.9% of viewership, 77.6% of that coming from Wisp.

For easier viewing of the graphs, check out the Google Slides version! Total Viewership Over Time

The event peaked with 627,421 viewers at 8:33PM which was during Sky Battle. Looking at the trend of the data, this statistic is unlikely to have changed if the missing 45 minutes had been counted, especially seeing how the peak of MCC14 was also easily in the first hour.  Data collection began about an hour before the event's official start at 8:00PM and ended an hour after the event's end at 11:08PM.

Viewership by Individual Over Time

A fun game you can play with this graph, sans the labels, is guess which one's Technoblade! So far everyone I've shown the unlabelled graph to has guessed correct.

Three people went live after the official start time of the event at 8:00PM, those being Technoblade, Grian, and AyChristeneGames. Four streamers had gone offline prior to the end of 20vs20 Dodgebolt at 11:08PM. Twenty of the 24 participants had gone offline within 5 minutes of the event end. This is in sharp contrast to MCC14 where it took 15 minutes to have half of the 36 participants to go offline. MCC14 participants were also more likely to start streaming well in advance of the event. (For context, only Twitch data was collected for MCC14.) This is probably a cultural difference between Youtube and Twitch.

Viewership by Team Over Time

The viewership drop off after a team fails to reach Dodgebolt is a lot more severe this time, and you don't really see the two teams who did get to Dodgebolt get a boost either. Best guess is this is because MCCP21 was non-canon so nobody really cared who won the whole thing if their favorites didn't make it. Another observation: Pink Parrots has a much more severe dropoff during the Bird App Poll than everyone else. Unseen here is the viewership increase when Wilbur's fire alarm went off :(

Viewership Breakdown at Peak by Individual

So, not the most diverse viewership. The most watched person at peak in MCC14, Tommyinnit, only had 21.1% of total viewership. Even if you combine that percentage with the runner-up Dream's numbers, you only get 38.4% of viewership going to them. There is not a single team from MCC14 who captured nearly 57.5% of the viewership. The most they could do was 39.9% (Green Guardians). Absolutely insane degree of domination.

Top Five (Unrouned) 1. Technoblade (360.8k) 2. Wisp (82.2k) 3. Grian (45.5k) 4. ItsFunneh (44.9k) 5. Joey Graceffa (23.5k)

Bottom Five 26. Burren (78) 25. SeaPeeKay (333) 24. Spifey (403) 25. AyChristeneGames (498) 26. InTheLittleWood (521)

Wisp's numbers were so hugely different from last time (0.1% to 13.1%) that I actually sought out people who watched him to confirm he really had over 70k viewers. He did. This probably has to do with having fewer big names to compete with and being on a team with Tommy and Tubbo. Plus, he’s more familiar to the Minecraft community than Joey Graceffa, so fans of Tommy and Tubbo would be more likely to watch Wisp to see their faves. This isn't meant to belittle Wisp or to attribute his viewership entirely to Tommy or Tubbo; MCC is an unfair measurement of the usual popularity of a creator.

Viewership Breakdown at Peak by Team vs Survey Data

The predicted viewership graph was generated using data from a poll I ran on Tumblr and a poll run by u/Epic_Ninja_Dude123 on r/MinecraftChampionship.

Difference from predicted counts (Pred. % vs Actu. %) Lime Llamas: +9.1% (7.8% vs 16.9%) Green Guardians: +6.3% (0.9% vs 7.2%) Purple Pandas: -6.3% (6.7% vs 0.4%) Orange Ocelots: -5.1% (5.5% vs 0.4%) Red Rabbits: -4.1% (6.2% vs 2.1%) Blue Bats: -1.9% (2.5% vs 0.6%) Aqua Axolotls: +1.3% (2.5% vs 3.8%) Pink Parrots: +0.9% (64.5% vs 65.4%) Yellow Yaks: +0.5% (0.0% vs 0.5%) Cyan Creepers: -0.3% (3.2% vs 2.9%)

Standard Dev. for MCC14: 10.22 Standard Dev. for MCCP21: 2.89

Thrilled by these statistics!! The MCC14 survey had nearly triple the sample size (862) as this combined survey, but still ended up closer to actual counts. Real life proof of what they tell you in stats classes! A representative sample is the best kind of sample to have. Something I did not consider when using the survey for MCC14 is its source, a blog on Tumblr that talks heavily about Technoblade and Philza, which obviously biased the audience who took it towards the Pink Parrots (Philza, Fundy, Wilbur, JackManifold). Not a surprise we did better this time but really neat to see logic in action! lol

Another interesting thing about the survey: Reddit and Tumblr do vary a little in taste. It's easier to just show you:

What's missing? I chose not to calculate average/median viewership for the creators involved due to the large gap in data. It wouldn't be correct most likely.

So, how did you do this and how did you mess it up?

(I, the writer of this post, mostly do the analysis part of this project, not the programming. Apologies if any programmers are reading this and it doesn't make sense. :[ )

Our initial plan was do do just what we did to collect the MCC14 data but for YouTube instead of Twtich. (For MCC14 we used a Python program to request the viewership data directly from Twitch using their API.) This was much easier said than done. Unlike the Twitch API, which allows you to get stream information very easily just using a streamer's name, YouTube API doesn't have a "front door" way of getting this stuff. So, we went in the "back door."

First thing we had to do was manually collect the user ID for each participant. The next step is where the first error occurred: we needed to get our program to recognize the user ID as a user ID, which was done by writing a rule. This was stuff like how long the IDs were and what symbols were included in the IDs. We failed to include a symbol that was present in five of the participant's user IDs, so the program didn't recognize them as IDs and didn't run them through the part of the program which found the stream ID and collected viewer numbers. This is why that data was missing for SMajor/Noxcrew, ItsFunneh, Squaishey, ASFJerome, and Mefs in the first 30 minutes.

Another big way in which the YouTube API differs from the Twitch API is that YouTube has a quota system. Every action you can take with the API has a certain number of points connected to it, and you're only given so many points to spend a day per application. We thought we were only making one call to get viewer data for every streamer, but instead we were making a separate call for each streamer. That destroyed our quota pretty quick, resulting in the 45 minute gap in data collection. This problem was solved by moving our code into another application which granted us more quota.

This is an important lesson in testing your programs thoroughly before use!

On the bright side, the YouTube API is much more active than the Twitch API, which would update streamer numbers seemingly at random and not all at once. The YouTube API updated numbers roughly every 15 seconds and updated for all streamers, not just a few. That's why our graphs are higher resolution this time!

Here is the raw numbers: Click me!

Let's talk about next time

SO. Obviously this time around was not super ideal, which is partially on us for not testing more. (At least this was not the only scuffed thing about MCCP21. We were just being on brand, if you think about it.) However! Good news! The quota won't be a problem next time as MCC15 won't be Youtube exclusive.   We have already fixed the YouTube program we used this time around and have begun to merge the two. We might even be able to collect YouTube subscribers and Twitch followers by next time but we're focusing on making sure we get all the data next time.

Thank you all so much for reading! Again, any and all critique and questions are welcome! :]

[yakocchi]

so as you might remember a long time ago (like march-ish) there was a sort of election between premade pairs of the active voltage series. the top 5(?) were to be given special stories where you* get to help decide what the story will be about.  *ok not everybody, u had to have voted for that pairing in that prior election but i mean thats a low entry point unless u threw ur free vote away somehow

the surveys are in 3 stages, where the first stage is all about the general setting of the story and the second about the story’s specific “situation”. The third stage, going on now, is to finally choose the specific situation. i’d like to complain discuss the first 2 survey results of the kbtbb story bc i voted on it hahee

sorry that the graphs are ugly... but my excuse is that the pie graphs are from Voltage themselves and im too lazy to set up a less ugly one on excel

further translations and rambling behind the cut

the pie graphs encompass the first stage of surveys. they came with small comments:

with the first question (what is your ideal theme), they mention that there’s a lot of interest about getting to see the jealous side of eisuke and soryu when it comes to being jealous towards each other for once. it’s an interesting point bc yea there has been plenty of stories about them being jealous of other charas, but never really jealous towards each other. hm

.......but also, remember those love triangle substories... the real question is why they didn’t just team up eisuke and soryu there hmm??? weh??? thats been the most obv pairing since the stegosaurus roamed the earth, no? maybe they knew if they did that the interest for the other resulting pairings in those stories wouldve plummeted

eisuke may have won in the general polling in terms of relationship status,  but the following comment mentions that there is interest in having the choice of getting to choose between the two (which was what i was leaning towards) or the idea of being in a relationship with one of them already and then the other guy harbors this illicit love for u regardless.... which...

lol i kid. admittedly ive never been big on bc i just feel bad for the other guy. esp if his competition is to be eisuke or soryu man that cant be pretty. like, an average dude can probably take down ota in a fight. wats that guy gonna do, throw some tubes of daniel smith at u? but with someone like soryu u might as well save urself the time and throw ur own self off the cliff, let the wildebeest tramble u

intrigued by what the ppl who voted for “the mc doesn’t show up” were going for. eisuke x soryu story? i mean... (✿╹◡╹) if they ever provided the choice...

so with much thinking, the resulting story theme is to be: A story where, in the same setting as the typical kbtbb universe, you fall into a love triangle with Eisuke and Soryu.

 the results of the second stage is all text bc you were just supposed to type out your ideal scenario etc. the answers they chose to share are:

“The both of them invite you to a party as their partner”, where you would see the sparks fly between them as they’d compete for the right to be your partner for the party. mmm classic. but a good one

“The two of them work together to save the MC from being abducted by a hostile organization and married against her will” bc it would be very cool to see them come together to save her. i mean, i get it bc the best part of kbtbb main routes is when eisuke and soryu pop out of nowhere from their helicopter, boat, unicycle, etc. and save mc and her admittedly-not-as-cool man

.........”The three of you get trapped in a locked room together” and naturally if they ever wrote this the room would be very small to force close contact..... 

the second part of this stage is a specific scene you’d like to see in your ideal situation:

one person wants a sort of scene where the MC is cleaning as usual when the both of them say “Hey, come here” and then the fight begins. mmm

another is one where they say phrases they usually would never say, but finally come out... out of jealousy. a sort of situation where eisuke and soryu finally lose their composure

anyway the last stage is to finally vote on what prompt you want.  bc it’s a “secret meeting” right now, i don’t really want to get super specific on what the choices were but they’re... not anything groundbreaking or too scandalous, lol.  the one i voted for wasn’t even mentioned beforehand on those results........ the voltage writers’ table really didn’t want to do anything too crazy, i suppose. the way they wrote the prompts (save one) are all pretty vague sounding too, probably to give them leeway. 

hmmm not super satisfied about how it turned out but i mean........ 1 eisuke and soryu story is better than none

thanks for reading my rambling!! the survey closes at around the 10th so let’s hope the actual story comes out before uh... october i would hope lol

[teawithkpop]

🔮 October Update 🎃

tldr; I’ll be on a semi-hiatus until the end of the month + I am working on a spoopy story for you guys 🖤 + I might make a twitter?? more info below the cut

topic number one] semi-hiatus

ahh, autumn. that lovely time of year when my birthday falls (wink wonk), and spoopy events start to manifest...

every year around this time, certain events take place. certain... holidays.

that’s right, you guessed it.

the HIGH HOLIDAYS are in FULL SWING

which means I will be on and offline like a frickin yoyo until they are over~ I am very grateful for your patience with me as I rest and pray and chow down on that GOOD FOOD thank you uwu much love 💖💖💖

xox ~ RaRa

FAQ

Q: what are the high holidays?

A: the high holidays are celebrated by Jewish people all over the world, every year, and they consist of Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur. even though these two events are considered the “high holidays”, most people also include the days of Sukkot, Shmini Atzeret, and Simchat Torah when using the phrase.

Q: lmao what the heck are those gibberish words

A: those are the names of the holidays lmaooooo

Rosh Hashana - the Jewish new year Yom Kippur - the Jewish day of atonement, to cleanse our spirits for the upcoming year Sukkot - the week-long harvest festival, very happy, lots of food Shmini Atzeret - the day following Sukkot, sort of like an after party for the soul Simchat Torah - the celebration of finishing reading the Torah, and starting it all over again to make a continuous loop

Q: okay so that’s like... five days. why do you need a hiatus?

A: oh you sweet young fool. you innocent spring chicken. clearly you have never experienced the high holidays in all their glory. you see, because of the time difference, if you live outside of Israel, then each holiday is celebrated for TWO days instead of one. (much the same way that you celebrate kpop birthdays if you live outside of Korea: once when it’s their birthday their time, and again when it’s their birthday your time... wait that’s how everyone celebrates kpop birthdays right;;?)

Q: okay but that’s only like... ten days... what’s the biggie?

A: this. this is the biggie. each holiday is only like two or three days apart from each other.  it’s madness. completely bonkers.

Q: oh... is it like that every year?

A: YES. YES IT IS LIKE THAT EVERY YEAR on and off back and forth and dammit it always throws my internal clock completely out of whack TTuTT like can you imagine if, for example, halloween, thanksgiving, christmas and new years were all within thirty days of each other??? chaos. society as we know it would crumble under the pressure. but not the high holidays. oh no. the high holidays go HARD man 😤

Q: alright, so you’ll be busy this month... why are you explaining so much? why did you make a whole FAQ? you don’t really need to give a reason.

A: *sighs* man, I dunno. I’ve had some shitty people in my life that made me feel like sharing things about myself would only push other people away and alienate me from potential friends. I’ve always given the glossed over version of my life to anyone who asks, and I always told myself it was to avoid awkward questions or funny stares. But I don’t want to do that anymore. So, in the spirit of the new year, I’m being completely candid. I won’t be online this month because I’m celebrating the high holidays with my family. My devices will be shut off. I’ll be cooking food and reading and praying and taking blissful 5+ hour naps and ya’ll should be jelly B)

Oh! And in the spirit of the new year, as is tradition, if I have done anything to upset or hurt you - yes, YOU reading this - in any way in the past year, whether it be intentionally or unintentionally, I sincerely apologize, and I hope we can start fresh! I will work harder to be a better RaRa this year and to share more care and kindness with every person I encounter 😌🍎🍯

topic number two] spoopy story

that being said, even though I’ll be on and offline, I will be writing in between holidays and 8 hour shifts;;; I have come up with some ideas for some new stories, and the lovely Spex [@bang-to-the-tan] has been dumping gasoline on the garbage fire of my writing brain... 😈 go give her a hug from me please <3

one of these ideas is... a bit scary, and kinda sexy... and has some domestic fluff as well as demon/ghost!BTS members.. and at least a threesome, maybe more... 🤔 we shall see~ it’s all in the early stages, but! since it’s a oneshot, hopefully?? I’ll have it ready for that time of the month?? 👀 hopefully like don’t quote me on it but also look forward to it!! ^^ I’ll post some more updates about it once the draft is a bit more complete

topic number three] twitter??

I want to make a twitter to interact with you guys more!! sometimes I still feel lonely on here even though I have all you wonderful people who read my stories :((

also this is a secondary blog, which is great for some reasons, but also terrible for others,,, I can’t reply to replies as teawithkpop, I can’t follow blogs as teawithkpop, I can’t send in asks as teawithkpop... the limitations can get a bit frustrating sometimes,,

so I thought hey!! why don’t I make a twitter in junction with this blog? you guys can vote on polls and I can reply to your replies and whatnot~ we can make our own hashtags and freak out over kpop content and I think it’ll be a grand old time all around 😊💓

please let me know if you’d be interested in chillin on twitter with me! <3

I think that’s about it for updates! have a lovely october babes and please enjoy the spoop of it all >U< 🎃🔮👻

[eurovosion]

 some thoughts on this year’s entries

or i guess just a ranking with comments tacked on

albania - this year’s nf season was a let down for me, partly because a lot of the winning songs weren’t the best on offer, and partly because albania picked first and nothing could live up to it. i love the depth this has, the dark, almost tribal vibes, and most of all i love how they didn’t fuck up the revamp like they usually do. if this is staged correctly, i think this could do really well. 10/10

greece - i feel like this has been overlooked in the wider fandom, which is odd because greek entries are usually pretty polarising, for better or for worse. regardless, i really like this. it’s atmospheric, powerful as hell, and katerine is more than capable of nailing it live. don’t count greece out just yet! 9.5/10

portugal - festival da canção was easily the best nf this year and the portuguese public picked wisely. telemóveis is such an intriguing song with a really curious sound, so traditional yet so modern at the same time. i’m not 100% on the staging, but they have time to figure it out. 9.5/10

spain - la venda wasn’t the song i was rooting for in the selection (rip todo bien, never forgotten) but i’m fully on board with it now. this works so well with a big audience, and you just know that the crowd will be on his side. if this doesn’t go top 10 at the very least i’ll be stunned. 9/10

cyprus - this is just as instant as fuego for me. not sure if tamta will do as well as eleni, but the cypriot delegation has definitely found their winning formula. 9/10

malta - malta is not fucking around this year. this is a verified banger, and their best entry in years, perhaps their best ever. take as many youtube ads as you want, michela, you deserve them. 8.5/10

azerbaijan - without a doubt, azerbaijan is back with a vengeance. you can tell they’re determined to set the record straight and prove that last year was just a blip, because this is great and hopefully the live performance reflects that. 8.5/10

denmark - i really should hate this, but i can’t. it’s so innocent and cheerily optimistic in a way that i can only be jealous of whilst humming along to the chorus. this deserves to do well. 8/10

italy - it took me a little while to warm up to soldi, but once i finally got there i really started to appreciate it. i don’t think it’s a winner, but it’s a very good song, and in the end that’s all that matters. 8/10

san marino - yes, serhat is in my top 10, and what of it? you only wish your fave could write a song in ten minutes and have it go off like this. and yes, if he doesn’t qualify you’ll catch me openly sobbing in the streets for weeks. 8/10

switzerland - an unabashed bop with some actual choreography, but lacking lyrically. then again, so was fuego and that popped off live. he’s also working with the same stage director as eleni, which can only be good news for him. 7.5/10

the netherlands - don’t get me wrong, it’s a very polished song and i’m sure duncan’s great but like... is that it? this is the big fan favourite? i’m very whelmed. 7.5/10

armenia - i was expecting something like yete karogh es from srbuk, so this came completely out of left field in the best way possible. i thought we’d lost our token edgy pop song when ukraine dropped out, but armenia saved us at the last minute. the only thing i’m worried about are her vocals, because, from what i’ve seen, she isn’t the most confident performer. 7/10

serbia - another respectable but ultimately pretty safe pick from serbia this year. nevena has a really strong voice and she sells the song well, so i think she’ll avoid another moje 3 style placement. 7/10

germany - first of all, aly ryan was robbed. secondly, thank god the surprise song didn’t win. thirdly, this is alright. nothing spectacular, but it’s cute and the spinning stage was a great stylistic choice. 7/10

latvia - thank you latvia for letting this win and rejecting markus riva’s basic ass for the sixth year in a row WHEW i really love the whole atmosphere that surrounds this. barring a miracle, however, i don’t think it’ll qualify, but it’s still a good attempt. 6.5/10

sweden - i don’t think it’s john’s most solid composition, but it’s a decent entry nevertheless and it’s nice to see sweden picking an entry that isn’t generic pop again. 6.5/10

united kingdom - my only faint glimmer of national pride so far this year is that we managed to pick the only good song from the flaming garbage pile that was our nf. yeah, the lyrics are redundant and it’s a ballad by numbers, but michael gives it his all and it really pays off. 6.5/10

ireland - this will absolutely not do well but who cares, it’s fun and harmless. super chill and easy to listen, and i think sarah’s a big eurovision fan already which is nice. also i’d just like to take this opportunity to thank her for ditching the ylva and linda song she originally applied with. 6.5/10

iceland - hm. this is one where you need to listen a few times to get a full impression of what the fuck you’re hearing/seeing. i really did not like this when i first heard it alongside all the other söngvakeppnin songs (and most of them sucked lbr), but now i’m kind of ambivalent towards it. i still don’t like the screaming or the key change, but it’s something different and i can admire that. 6/10

slovenia - fine, but forgettable. she has a nice voice, but there’s a distinct lack of stage presence from the two of them and i fear that this might get lost in the semi final. 6/10

israel - i’m conflicted here. i definitely don’t think home is as bad as the fan polls and reviews imply, but it’s not great either. a verse or two in hebrew would have really elevated this and i’m a little baffled as to why the writers didn’t include even a little bit considering the contest is on home turf this year. still, kobi’s a very convincing performer and israel probably didn’t want to win again anyway. 6/10

poland - this is an odd one, which isn’t a bad thing at all in a year full of safe entries. not sure if using the bilingual version was the best shout, but it’s clearly still very polish and i’m glad to hear that they’ll be wearing the traditional clothing on stage in tel aviv. 6/10

czech republic - the chorus absolutely slaps, and if i was judging by music alone this’d probably be in my top ten. unfortunately, though, the rest of the song exists. the lyrics are truly abysmal, with some of the lines ending awkwardly and without proper rhymes where they’re needed, and the spoken-word section is genuinely unbearable. 5.5/10

austria - i honestly don’t know where to place this one. very underwhelming when it was first released, but now i feel like there’s potential here. most of austria’s recent entries have been very under the radar only to end up doing quite well. i’m not as optimistic about this as some of those, but only time will tell. 5.5/10

hungary - not a patch on his previous entry, but pleasant enough. he’s a good performer and unless the staging really sucks, he’ll do fine. 5.5/10

north macedonia - it’s a nice ballad? i guess? and, unlike a lot of their recent entrants, tamara is an established singer who we all know can sing live. there are also rumours that the delegation has been planning the performance for a while, so who knows, perhaps this’ll qualify. 5/10

georgia - this has been growing on me lately. the song itself is a bit of a bust, although the revamp helped, but oto really brings it to life on stage. even if you don’t understand what he’s saying, you can tell by the emotion in his voice that he really means it. 5/10

russia - the nightmare dream team hasn’t produced a good song in over a decade at this point, this included. kirkorov needs to quit fooling himself and let someone else have a go. 4.5/10

belgium - belgium’s had quite the glow up since 2014, but i fear they’ve gone for style over substance this year. wake up is very polished, but it doesn’t go anywhere and eliot’s live performances haven’t been convincing as of yet. 4/10

lithuania - i don’t know what was more shocking, him winning the selection or me finding out that he was lolita zero’s real voice in 2017. this isn’t awful, just very repetitive and strangely put together. 3.5/10

norway - sue me, i don’t like this. the bald guy feels out of place and out of tune, it sounds like it was written by a child, and oh my god it’s so unbearably cheap. 3/10 

estonia - eesti laul was such a let down this year. usually there’s a good mix of mainstream and alternative genres, but the new producer doesn’t seem to give a shit about variety, which is a real shame. anyway, victor’s performance is slick, but he can barely sing and the song itself is nothing to write home about. 3/10

romania - when this was first selected i didn’t mind it, probably because i just really didn’t want laura bretan to win, but as the season drags on i’ve really soured to it. it feels like it lasts for a minute longer than it actually does, and the whole ay-ay-ay part was not a good choice. 2.5/10

australia - as someone who was a big fan of estonia last year, this is honestly the furthest thing from that. it comes across as quite cheap (even without the questionable staging), and the chorus really grates on me. 2.5/10

belarus - i didn’t watch the entirety of the belarusian auditions for them to reject the potato monks in favour of lidl’s own brand zara larsson. 2/10

france - this is why delegations should be wary of selecting social media stars for their national selections. yes, they might get the viewing figures up a little, but they’ll probably win and the song will be Bad. i respect his message, but holy shit is this hamfisted as hell. 1/10

finland - if anyone was wondering how darude only ever had one hit two decades ago, here is your answer. 1/10

moldova - they really don’t want to qualify this year, huh. could’ve had ca adriano celentano, but nope. basic tune, painfully simple lyrics, but i guess her voice is nice enough 1/10

croatia - this... is awful. upsettingly so. at least jacques’ last entry had a novelty factor, but he’s doomed this poor kid to failure. 0.5/10

montenegro - i have absolutely nothing positive to say here. honest to god one of the worst songs i’ve ever heard, and no amount of clumsily shoehorned in folk instrumentation was ever going to save this. i can only pray that they’re spending their preparation time wisely and taking singing lessons, but considering that they probably blew half the budget on the music video, it’s unlikely. 0/10

as for potential winners,  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

a lot of the big fan favourites don’t have a winning vibe about them, so we might be in for a shock this year. please let it be albania or greece

also feel free to drop me an ask if you want to chat about last year’s entries since i kind of ditched tumblr for a year or two lmao

[artificialqueens]

Just the Game We're In- Chapter 9 (Ortega)

a/n: (snoop dogg voice) greetings, loved ones. mind in Mean Queens when there was that one chapter that was The Fuckening? this is that. i’m sorry. and as always i’m very sorry for the wait…but if u know me and u know this fic then ur probably used to it by now. thank u all so much for reading, especially my biggest cheerleaders, especially especially purecamp who proofread this and was subjected to the trauma first hand. HWFG

“Do you know,” Katya smiled, looking up from her monitor and catching the attention of the other girls in the department. “I think today’s going to be a really, really good day!”

Trixie groaned. Willam had to agree that Katya’s predictions generally did the opposite of what they were meant to do and instead worked like a bad curse- however she thought something would pan out, the opposite would generally happen. Willam could do without any bad omens today of all days, as it was particularly busy in DoSAC. However, she did also have every reason to be optimistic as she looked across the office and met eyes with Courtney, the other girl giving her a long-suffering roll of her eyes then laughing and blowing her a kiss.

The last month with Courtney had been better than Willam could ever have imagined. They were frantically busy, of course, with work, but they had always seemed to make time for each other. Courtney was forever enthusiastic about finding new restaurants for them to go and visit after a hectic day, and Willam always kept an eye out for nice little gifts or particularly beautiful bunches of flowers she could surprise Courtney with. True to their word, they hadn’t been particularly PDA at work, but Willam enjoyed the moments that they could show a tiny bit of affection. They would sometimes go and make everyone’s drinks order together, singing in ridiculous voices to whatever was playing on the kitchen radio. During one of Sharon’s meetings when Courtney was looking a little more stressed than usual Willam would reach out and curl her pinkie around Courtney’s own. If one of them was at the photocopier the other would find an excuse to be there too, hugging the other from behind. It had been a month to the day, Willam realised, since that evening at the party conference. Her skin prickled a bit. She’d never really managed to stay together with anyone for that long before- well, apart from uni- and that slightly terrified her. Which was why when it came to any intimacy beyond kissing, like taking Courtney back to her house after dinner, Willam had been going at a snail’s pace, if that snail had been stamped on underfoot and then eaten by a passing bird.

“Wow. You know, I’d never imagined you were the take-it-slow type at all,” Courtney had remarked after their last date, after Willam had cut her off during a particularly heavy kiss and had begun to panic.

“Well, you know,” Willam had blushed uncharacteristically. “When it’s someone you care about, you don’t want to fuck it up.”

She thought Courtney was probably fine with waiting. It was weird- an area of her life that Willam never had any issue with was fucking, and she didn’t really know why she was so nervous about it now. But if she was being honest with herself, she knew exactly the reason- it wasn’t as simple as just fucking, Courtney was the first person she had really, properly cared about since…well, since the last time. And even though she’d told Courtney how she felt about her, and they were together, part of her didn’t want to share this aspect of her with her yet unless it brought everything crashing down around her.

Willam knew it didn’t quite make sense. But it made sense to her, and besides, they would cross that bridge eventually. It was inevitable, and that didn’t scare Willam at all really.

Still, she hadn’t had time to think about the whole thing too much recently. Weeks and weeks at work had been building up to this day, and now it was finally here- tonight Sharon would be officially launching her policy to the press, meaning that it was going to be really happening, real party policy that Willam had helped get through parliament. It was exactly what Willam had come into the world of politics to do, make changes and change lives. She was proud of what they’d all achieved, and Sharon was on cloud 9 too.

Except, as the Secretary of State walked into the department in the comfy trainers she normally wore walking into work, she didn’t look ecstatic. Neither did her blonde-haired advisor slash girlfriend, who followed behind her with a scowl on her face and thunderous footsteps.

“Morning, everyone,” she said through gritted teeth. “Sorry I’m late, traffic was a bitch.”

Willam didn’t miss the way Sharon spat out the word bitch, giving a sideways glance at Alaska which the other girl glared at. Willam noticed that Alaska was carrying Sharon’s briefcases, which was odd- Courtney always carried Sharon’s bags, and sometimes Willam, but never Alaska.

“Oh! Sharon. You should’ve said you were downstairs, I would have got those for you,” Courtney said, a little perplexed herself as she gestured to the briefcases that Alaska had now dumped on the floor.

“No thank you Courtney, Alaska is perfectly capable of carrying a few briefcases. She does work for me after all, just like you,” Sharon grimaced, the cold tone to her words shocking even Willam. Noticing how her arrival had changed the atmosphere, Sharon gave a cough before she carried on. “Right, launch day! Meeting room in five.”

Everyone’s eyes were on Alaska, sensing the tension in the room. Her face was blank but with an undertone of severely pissed-off, her brow furrowed slightly in a scowl Willam could guess she didn’t know she was wearing.

“Aww, is Baby Alaska sad that she had to carry the Minister’s bags?” Adore teased from her desk.

“It’s about bloody time you took the briefcases for a change. I was beginning to think Sharon had favourites,” Jinkx chastised her friend without looking up. Alaska turned to her and rolled her eyes.

“Well, does anyone want a tea? I might as well while I’m here,” Alaska asked, her tone a little resigned. Immediately about four different orders were shouted over to her, so Willam rose from her desk.

“I’ll come with. Court, do you want anything?”

“No thanks, love,” she smiled back, attracting some playful comments from the comms girls. Ignoring them, Willam followed Alaska to the small kitchen, immediately bursting to ask her about the weird atmosphere between her and her girlfriend.

As soon as Alaska reached the kettle, she almost wrenched the lid off it as she filled it with water. Willam watched silently and raised her eyebrows.

“So um…everything okay with you and Sharon?”

Alaska thudded the kettle down and flicked the switch on it heavily. “We’re fine.”

Willam sucked some air in through her teeth. “Are you sure, because I’m detecting some weird vibes between you. And not the weird vibes you keep in your bedside table.”

“Willam, I’m not in the mood for your shit humour,” Alaska immediately snapped back, her shoulders falling straight afterwards as she assumed she’d hurt her friend. Truthfully, Willam couldn’t care less- she had a thick skin and comments that Alaska made out of hurt or anger or whatever the fuck she was feeling weren’t really going to affect her. Out of perhaps guilt, Alaska sighed and gently took some mugs out of the cupboard as her demeanour changed. “We’re okay. Thanks, Willam. We’re just…going through a rough patch.”

Willam wanted to know more, but she reasoned that she didn’t really have much of a place to ask about it. Helping Alaska and reaching for some teabags, she tentatively opened her mouth. “Do you want to talk about it?”

Alaska wordlessly shook her head.

“Well, you know I’m here if you do.”

As Alaska looked over at Willam and gave her a small smile of gratitude, the kettle reached boiling point. Before Alaska could begin pouring the teas her work phone began to ring. She looked at the caller ID, frowned, then looked at Willam in a way Willam couldn’t quite describe. She seemed secretive.

“I have to take this. Two minutes,” she said, stepping out of the kitchen and heading off down the corridor. That struck Willam as odd- work was work, and a phone call was a phone call. She was always happy taking calls in front of Alaska or Courtney because it was for her job, and the girls were always the same with her. She couldn’t work out why it was different for Alaska this time.

Staring at the cups in front of her, Willam sighed.

“I guess this is my job now,” she said to herself quietly, filling them up with water.

A few minutes and a tea delivery to the comms girls later, Willam was entering the meeting room with two steaming hot cups (one for Courtney of course, even though she’d said she hadn’t wanted anything, and one for her). She was busy doing the press round-up for Sharon, but stopped abruptly when the tea was placed in front of her.

“You’re late,” Sharon addressed Willam sternly as she sat down.

“Sorry, I was too busy being the fucking barista at Starbucks. What have I missed?”

Courtney leant forward. “Well, obviously, most of the headlines are about the PM’s approval ratings absolutely pissing down the gutter.”

Willam nodded. In the past week, the polls had received quite the turnaround for Sharon, but the PM’s approval ratings had plummeted and nobody could quite tell why, least of all Bianca who, every time Willam had seen her in the past couple of days, had seemed close to a massive heart attack.

“Any headlines about new communities?” Willam asked hopefully.

“Luckily, yes,” Courtney continued. “Bianca is obviously overjoyed that our policy is a bit of governmental good news. The right wing papers, which is basically all of them, hate it, but at least if they’re writing about it they’re not writing about the PM.”

“Which is fucking great for me,” Sharon rolled her eyes sarcastically from the other end of the table.

“You’re being well received on Twitter, which is basically bigger than News 24 in this day and age, and you’re ahead of Phi Phi by 5% in the polls so you’ve got nothing to be annoyed about actually,” Alaska spoke up, her voice hard and cold and making everyone uncomfortable. Willam narrowed her eyes at her friend, then looked at Sharon who had her eyes boring into her desk and her head down. What the fuck had happened to make things like this?

“But at least the launch is tonight, right?” Willam cut in, before Sharon had a chance to talk back and make anything worse. “What we’ve all been working towards for what seems like years. You pleased?”

Sharon forced a smile, happy to be distracted by work. “I am glad, actually. I’m so happy to be doing something that actually fucking matters, you know?”

With that, the glass door to the meeting room opened and Jinkx appeared.

“Morning, Secretary of State,” Jinkx smiled briefly as she formally addressed the Minister. “I know you are very excited about this policy launch tonight, I mean, really, I know you all do have very stiff hard-ons about this-” Willam curled her lip in distaste. “-but you do have your BBC interview in about an hour so if you could possibly make sure you’re prepped and double-prepped for that, it would make my life roughly a thousand times easier.”

Sharon sighed, waving a hand and brushing Jinkx off as she slipped off the trainers and replaced them with her heels. “It’s fine, Jinkx, I’ve got the gist- make the policy outline rough enough so as not to confuse any panicky gibbering pensioners, make absolutely clear that we’re not going to make any Native Aryan Nazi dream children homeless to appease the I Heart Tommy Robinson bunch and praise the PM in the wake of this approval ratings fuck-up, so I’m…prepped. I’m fucking prepped.”

“Who actually is conducting this interview today? Is it a Gemini interview?” Courtney inquired, fixing Jinkx with a suspicious glare.

“No, Raja’s out in Calais doing correspondent stuff at the moment so she’s incommunicado for now.”

“Oh, so it’s Chi Chi DeVayne,” Willam concluded matter-of-factly. Jinkx gave a sort of foreboding murmur.

“Not exactly, no. It’s um, Brianna Cracker.”

The three advisors gave Jinkx a look of confusion, Sharon giving out a cry as she struggled to shove her foot into the other high heel.

“Who the hell is Brianna Cracker? I’m launching a fucking government policy Jinkx, not a fucking cheese factory!” she shouted with indignation, finally looking up at the other girls with her hair covering most of her face.

“She’s a new girl that the BBC have got in, doing a lot of featurettes and online stuff- and she seems very nice,” Jinkx pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows, clearly annoyed that her best (the bare minimum) clearly hadn’t been good enough.

“Sunflowers are ‘very nice’, Jinkx, but talking to one doesn’t get you great media coverage, does it?” Alaska sighed in resignation.

“Probably gets you admitted to an institution,” Courtney rolled her eyes, Willam biting back a laugh over the fact that her dry humour was clearly rubbing off on her.

“Well luckily, she is not a sunflower, she is a journalist, and one that is going to give you a very lovely piece on the BBC website about this very lovely policy that you are launching tonight, so you can suck it up and deal with it,” Jinkx glared at each of the advisors in turn, her eyes finally coming to rest on Sharon. The Minister in question threw her hands up in defeat.

“Okay! Okay, Christ, well we’d better hope a clip gets shown on the lunchtime news or something, or I might just have to get off my tits on ketamine and go running through the Houses of Parliament with “NEW POLICY LAUNCH” smeared on my shirt in lipstick.”

“I assume that Bianca’s been in and left a brief or something? We haven’t seen her yet and the interview’s getting pretty close,” Willam frowned at Jinkx, concerned. The spin doctor normally visited Ministers before they had an interview with any news outlets just to double-check they knew their lines. Jinkx frowned back and shook her head.

“I’ve heard nothing from Bianca all morning.”

“Nothing from Bianca?!” Sharon cried incredulously, the other girls looking at Jinkx in horror. “Christ, perhaps she’s dead.”

“How can you have heard nothing from Bianca? The woman’s basically a walking talking telecommunications tower,” Alaska asked, wide-eyed. Jinkx gave a flippant shrug as if she wasn’t the least bit bothered as long as it gave her less work to do.

“Well, I have to just assume that there’s nothing that Bianca wants to discuss with me. Which is a bit like wandering into a lion enclosure and assuming they’ve just been fed,” Sharon reasoned, her voice tinged with dread.

“Am I free to go now? I am getting a lot of calls, considering there is a policy launch tonight?” Jinkx asked impatiently, lingering at the door.

“Yes, you’re free. Go resume your hectic schedule,” Sharon deadpanned sarcastically.

“Oh, Jinkx,” Courtney stopped her just before she made to leave, Jinkx’s shoulders slumping in disappointment. “How many journalists do we have confirmed for tonight?”

“We’ve got confirmed, four,” Jinkx said calmly. There was a chorus of disbelieving shouts in reply.

“FOUR? We’re launching new communities, for fuck’s sake, not a fucking death camp!” Sharon cried, her face completely outraged.

“Jinkx, get onto everyone, start fucking harassing everyone! Now!” Willam barked at her, staring at the carpet in disbelief as Jinkx hurried away.

“Four journalists? Jesus Christ. This is meant to be my pinnacle! I haven’t climbed up a mountain just to launch myself off the top!” Sharon ranted, holding her head in her hands.

“I’ll go and start ringing round too,” Alaska said decisively, still clearly wanting to make the situation better for her girlfriend despite whatever had happened.

“Yes, if you two could go and start doing that as well, that’d be a huge help. And Willam, can I have you in with me for the interview?”

Willam paused, a little thrown. Sharon usually took Alaska with her for interviews. “You want me with you for the interview?”

“Eh, if you can spare the time!” Sharon snapped at her, clearly annoyed.

“Fine,” Willam blinked back, shrugging.

“God, where’s Bianca when you need her? Four journalists?” Sharon hissed again as she sat at her desk and picked up her phone. “Let’s hope we get some more on board before this Camembert Ritz girl does the interview otherwise I may as well be whispering the policy into the ear of a dead tramp.”

***

Willam sat just out of view of the cameras and out of reach of the microphone. She nervously picked with a small corner of her notebook as she watched Sharon- calm, smiling at the camera, gesturing a little but not too much like they’d practiced (Bianca had once described Sharon in interviews as “a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra”). Sharon was doing well, but Willam was always tense during interviews as she knew how wrong they could go. Brianna Cracker seemed pleasant enough though, and was smiling a little as Sharon answered her questions. So far, it was a good interview, and Willam thought she was perhaps almost able to relax. Sharon had answered the questions about her policy fluently and easily, and now there were just a few more to go before they could finish up.

“This policy has been described as the legislation that’s sewing the party back together, but nobody could miss the tension between you and some of the newer ministers at the party conference. What’s morale like around parliament?”

Willam rolled her eyes. The media were still trying to drag up the party conference drama despite Sharon and Sasha being absolutely fine now, aside from a few small debates within the Commons. Knowing Sharon would handle the question well, Willam turned to look at a bookshelf with a loose screw.

“Obviously the Prime Minister has backed you on this policy, but surely you can’t ignore the most recent public polls- will there be people jumping ship in the coming months?” Brianna continued, Willam frowning at her deeply. Her smile which had once seemed easygoing now looked slightly scheming, and Willam prayed they wouldn’t have another Shangela Wadely situation on their hands- Brianna Cracker didn’t look like the type of person who was going to send flowers to Sharon’s door the next day apologising and thanking her for her LGBT representation.

“Look, everybody has a dip in opinion polls every so often- I had one a couple of months back-” Willam winced- error, she shouldn’t have reminded the media of that, “- but I recovered from it and pushed forward. The Prime Minister was elected for a reason, by the public, and they have complete trust in him and so do I.”

“So you wouldn’t like to see a female leader any time soon?” Brianna questioned, cocking an eyebrow thoughtfully. Sharon paused and turned to Willam, her face set in a grimace of pain. Willam understood why- Sharon was currently a strong face of feminism in the public eye and she didn’t want to undermine that, but she also couldn’t risk undermining the Prime Minister. Willam gave her an encouraging smile, knowing that Sharon would have the words to articulate herself properly.

“I mean at some point, yes, I would absolutely love there to be a female leader, but- but that point isn’t now,” Sharon began, nervously interrupting herself as she hastily explained what she meant. “Of course within society itself we are at the point where there should be female leaders, and eventually there should be a female PM, but I believe that our current Prime Minister is the best man for the job, and we should let him get on with that job!”

Brianna smiled, satisfied with the answer, which in turn made Willam release a breath she’d been holding. Relaxed, she fiddled with the loose screw. “With the upcoming by-election-”

“I’m so sorry,” Sharon suddenly interrupted, prompting Willam to look up at her sharply. Sharon was looking at her with a tentative face. “I said best man for the job. I should say best person.”

Willam blinked, thought a little, then frowned. “You’d have to be really PC to pick up on that.”

“I think I should change it- could we just go again?” Sharon addressed Brianna, who gave a comfortable gesture and asked the previous question again. Willam eyed Sharon as she gave much the same answer as last time.

“…eventually at some point, there should be a female leader, but I believe that our current PM is absolutely the best person for-”

Sharon’s final two words were cut off, however, as the bottom shelf of the bookcase suddenly clattered to the floor, its metal clang cutting through the room and making everyone jolt a little. Willam looked at the previously loose screw which was now lying on the floor.

Shit.

Sharon turned again to Brianna, smiling a slightly forced smile. “You did get that, right? Best person.”

“Oh, we got it. Don’t worry. Thanks so much for the interview Ms Needles, it was a pleasure,” Brianna smiled, reaching out a hand for Sharon to shake which she did. Willam saw her shoulders dropping, tension gone as she was happy the interview had gone well, and Willam supposed she could relax too.  

Coming out of the small meeting room that the interview had been set up in, Willam saw Courtney and Alaska perched waiting at their desks, eager for news of how it had gone.

“So? Smiles? Happiness?” Courtney began, a hopeful smile on her face.

“It went well!” Sharon replied, optimistic, then looked at Willam. “Didn’t it?”

Willam gave a shrug. “Seemed to. Back to prepping for tonight then? I still have about 90 leaflets to print. Although I should make that 4, shouldn’t I?”

“Shut up,” Sharon glowered at her, instantly annoyed at being reminded of Jinkx’s incompetence. They were both about to head back to their desks when a thunder of footsteps could be heard from down the corridor, as if someone was running full pelt, and a loud, out-of-breath gasping gradually added to the frantic noise too. Frowning, Willam took two steps forward towards the source of the noise when suddenly Bianca rounded the corner, her nostrils flared, a blaze burning in her eyes, and her face shiny with sweat.

“Morning, Bianca,” Jinkx greeted her lazily from her monitor, Bianca completely ignoring her as she stormed towards the two girls.

“I am going to fuck Three Mobile very rapidly and painfully up the arse with a rusty fucking poker, can you believe their fucking network is down?!” Bianca began, her voice a growl of frustration. “So I have been running around Westminster like a chicken with its fucking cock cut off delivering messages in person when a text could be fucking sufficient! I swear to Christ!”

“Yes, that does sound a bit…shit,” Willam hesitantly agreed with her, Bianca so angry that she was addressing Sharon and Willam as if they were personally responsible for the Three network. “Erm. Did you want to see us?”

Bianca widened her eyes incredulously at her. “No, I didn’t want to see you. I’ve just run all the way from Richmond Terrace to Dosac to stand in your department and helicopter my tits around- no, I didn’t come here to see you at all.”

Willam blinked back at her, well and truly clamped. Having made her point, Bianca looked at Sharon and carried on.

“I wanted to tell you to push back the BBC interview an hour so that I could come and brief you, but, having just seen Miz Baby-New-Potato Head herself Brianna Cracker exiting the building, I’m assuming I’m too fucking late.”

“You would be correct,” Sharon said, her face set in an apologetic frown. Bianca seethed and clenched a fist, then seemed to relax.

“Okay well, how did it go?”

“Good. We did all the policy launch stuff and the basic outline like you’d told me to in the past.”

“Well, that sounds uncomplicated enough,” Bianca gave a whisper of a shrug, Willam hoping that it signalled approval.

“She did ask me about the Prime Minister…” Sharon continued awkwardly.

“And?”

“I said he was the best man for the job.”

Bianca’s brow furrowed. “And?”

“Well I changed it to best person, but a bookshelf fell down and I don’t know if they got it.”

Bianca looked between Willam and Sharon, her face set in a look of disbelief. “A bookshelf fell down? What is this, a fucking Fawlty Towers episode?”

“I just didn’t know if they’d make something of it. Me saying best man, it might make people think I was implying I was the best woman?” Sharon bit her lip, a little worried. Bianca stood up and shook her head.

“Nothing will happen. You couldn’t interpret that as a leadership bid,” Bianca began, shaking her head quickly. “The media are already having a field day with the PM’s approval dropping and the by-election coming up, they won’t bring you into the mix as well.”

“But they might want to use this as ammunition against the PM?” Sharon insisted, her face growing panicked.

“Sharon, I wouldn’t worry,” Bianca frowned, standing up decisively.

“But Bianca-”

Turning around suddenly, Bianca snapped. “Okay, you want to know the real reason they won’t make something of this? You’re not leadership material. You’re too hot-headed and outspoken and you do too much talking and not enough listening.”

Sharon stood for a moment, her mouth open in shock. Remembering where she was and collecting herself slightly, she simply sniffed and shrugged. “Well. I’m not attempting to be leadership material anyway.”

“Right,” Bianca nodded sharply, turning on her heel and making to leave. “I’ll be back to brief you on PMQs at one, and obviously for your launch. Start working on your speech.”

As Bianca made her way down the office and turned the corner out of the department, the only noise that could be heard was the small murmur of the comms team as they answered phones and replied to emails. Courtney was looking at Sharon in shock from her place on the desk, and Willam wasn’t really sure what to say. Bianca was known for being harsh, but she’d never been this harsh with Sharon, at least not in front of Willam. As Willam turned to look at Alaska to gauge her reaction, the familiar iPhone ringtone sounded and Alaska slid off her desk, swiping across her phone and holding it to her ear as she hurried out of the department too.

“Are you okay, Sharon?” Courtney asked as she approached the Minister. “That was quite…a lot.”

“Yeah, I’m fine, I’m fine. I just…” Sharon trailed off, leaning on the frosted glass wall of her office and looking at the floor in disappointment. “I really thought I could be Prime Minister at some stage.”

“Did you?!” Willam asked, blinking in shock. She never knew that Sharon had ambitions like that at all. Sharon, for her part, looked at her incredulously.

“Yes! Didn’t you?”

Willam was taken aback at her accusing tone. “No, of course, I just never expected you to-”

“Okay, right,” the three girls were interrupted by Jinkx, who was standing up from her position on the other side of the room with an uncomfortable look on her face.

“What’s wrong with you? You look like you’ve shat a sea urchin,” Willam questioned.

“The BBC have put it on their website.”

“Put what?” Sharon asked, crossing the office briskly to Jinkx’s computer.

“You saying that the PM is the best man for the job…and they’re saying that you’ve fired the starting pistol for an election?”

Sharon tore her hands through her hair as Willam’s heart sank. “No! I said best person, and the fucking bookcase fucking fell down!”

“This is bad,” Courtney said, frowning and biting her lip.

“What do we do? We can’t contact Bianca thanks to Three cunting Mobile,” Willam frowned, inspecting the video of the interview playing on Jinkx’s screen.

“Fucking BBC and their fucking new journalists, YOU said she was nice!!” Sharon exclaimed, pointing at Jinkx accusingly. “What kind of name is Brianna Cracker anyway, do people not think before naming their children?!”

“Apparently not, Sharon Needles,” Willam deadpanned, receiving a death glare in return.

“Kill it, just kill the whole thing. Just kill the BBC,” Sharon spat, clearly irritated by the whole situation.

“Are you sure that’s the right thing to do? Maybe making a fuss about it will make them think they’ve got something on us, something they can really run with,” Courtney frowned, offering her suggestion tentatively.

“Courtney, I appreciate the advice, but right now I want this shut down. The only thing I want my face associated with today is my policy launch, which is happening tonight by the way because everyone seems to have forgotten!” Sharon cried, turning on her heel and disappearing into her office.

Courtney and Willam looked at each other blankly.

“Poor Sharon,” Courtney sighed, looking at the glass door which had just been slammed behind her. “Tonight will be alright, won’t it?”

“Of course it will, you’ve been behind half the organisation,” Willam reassured her, slipping an arm around her waist and enjoying the fact that she could just be near her and do those kinds of things without her heart feeling as if it was about to give out. “If you were the captain of the Titanic I don’t think it would’ve hit that iceberg.”

“Aw, how romantic. And historically inaccurate,” Courtney smiled, tilting her head to the side and kissing Willam gently. Someone, possibly Violet, made retching noises in the background.

“Do us a favour and actually vomit. Then maybe we could send it to the fucking BBC,” Willam rolled her eyes in the general direction of the comms team, reluctantly pulling away from Courtney. “Right, I’m going to get those leaflets sorted.”

“Hey,” Courtney stopped her just as she’d walked a little way from the comms desks, a small smile on her face as she held Willam’s hand gently. “Happy month anniversary.”

Willam tried to prevent the massive dumb smile from spreading across her face, but it was impossible not to. “Happy month anniversary. Although that term is a wild contradiction, but still. The sentiment that counts, right?”

Courtney laughed softly, squeezing Willam’s hand in her own. “It’s just been…the best time. And you really mean a lot to me. Every day I think about how lucky I am to have you.”

Willam felt her face go red as she looked to the floor. She wasn’t one to get embarrassed easily, but Courtney had that effect on her.

“I always wake up so happy to know that I’m with you, and I love spending time with you, even if it’s just at work,” Courtney continued, her face suddenly becoming a mix of playful and reprimanding. “And I never thought I would be having this conversation at work, but someone hasn’t invited me back to their flat yet.”

That moment was defining, thought Willam. Standing there in the middle of work holding Courtney’s hand and hearing her say all these things served to remove some kind of mental barrier in her head. She made a decision.

“Well, tonight. After the policy launch. Come back to mine, we can get a takeaway and we can…see where we go from there,” Willam smiled, bringing her arms around Courtney again. Courtney’s face lit up.

“Oh Christ, you’re serious? Amazing. God, that’s embarrassing, I feel like a bloody teenager.”

“You’re never embarrassing,” Willam brushed a bit of hair out of her face, then gave Courtney a squeeze and stepped back. “But for now, policy launch shit needs doing.”

“I can think of something else that needs doing.”

Willam feigned shock. “Courtney Act, I should be hiring you out to Babestation for £5 a minute.”

As the two of them laughed, another barrier broke down in Willam’s head. If everything went well tonight, she decided she would do something that she had only ever done once before in her life. It was terrifying, but she wanted to take the risk even if it meant rejection.

She was going to ask Courtney to be her girlfriend.

As she smiled at Courtney returning to her desk and sat down, Alaska re-appeared from around the corner looking furtive.

“The wanderer returns,” Willam said under her breath, causing Alaska to come her way.

“What did I miss?”

“The BBC are gunning for Sharon. Which you would know,” Willam sighed and leant back in her chair, “if you weren’t dashing in and out of the department all the time to answer your phone. Alaska, are you going to tell me what the fuck’s going on?”

Alaska frowned and made to walk away. “It’s just Bianca.”

“Christ Alaska, if it’s an excuse, at least make it a good one. Bianca’s mobile provider is down.”

“Willam, it’s actually none of your business.”

“None of my bus- Alaska, I’m your friend!” Willam cried, trying her best to keep her voice down despite the anger pulsing through her. “I know you don’t need to tell me everything that goes on in your life, but I really don’t want this to be another secret I find out about by accident!”

“Then stop asking me,” Alaska sighed, her face seeming sad and plaintive before she turned and walked back to her desk.

Willam frowned as she clicked onto the leaflets. She had to get to the bottom of this strange behaviour from Alaska. If she was being honest and thinking back, Alaska had been behaving a little strangely since just before the party conference, shielding her phone, being a little bit jumpy. Then came the high school friend, or uni friend, or whatever the fuck it had been at the conference. Since then, her and Sharon hadn’t seemed quite right at all.

Willam thought. What if this friend was the reason something wasn’t right? What if this friend wasn’t a friend at all, but something more? Her heart sank. Surely Alaska would never do anything like that to Sharon. But she didn’t know. Maybe Alaska was so fed up of hiding their relationship from the public eye, and so angry at Sharon for not wanting to go public, that she decided to indulge in a secret of her own?

Looking onto her desk, she realised that Alaska had left her phone behind. As if it was fate, a text pinged up on her screen. Willam leant forward, careful not to pick up the phone, and took a closer look.

From Jeremy, 11.00am:  Fantastic, love. Obviously we can’t let anyone know until May but things are going so brilliantly just now. You’re amazing. See you at lunch x

Willam slowly leant back from Alaska’s phone and blinked, staring at nothing in particular.

This was bad.

This was really fucking bad.

Hundreds of questions began to fill Willam’s mind, but the main one was what the FUCK? She thought she’d known Alaska. She thought she was good enough of a friend to her that she could tell what her character was, what her morals were, what she might do and what she absolutely would never do. Something that Willam thought was beyond Alaska was anything to do with cheating, but now she just didn’t know. Or maybe Willam was interpreting things the wrong way, maybe the message had just been innocent? She shook her head. She was loath to read the text again, but she could remember key points: love, we can’t let anyone know, you’re amazing, and the stomach-churning “x” at the end. It would explain why Alaska had been running off to answer phone calls all day, although why he’d been phoning so frequently she didn’t know. All she knew was that she had to tell Sharon.

Or did she? Looking into Sharon’s office, she saw the woman visibly stressed, her fingers massaging her temples with a frown set deeply on her face. She had all this shit going on with the BBC, and her policy launch tonight. Did she really need this brought to her now? Willam bit her lip. If it was her in the same position, she would want to know. But it wasn’t her, it was Sharon, a very stressed and under-pressure Sharon, and Willam didn’t want to make her whole day worse. Besides, the naive part of Willam’s brain urged, she didn’t really have that much evidence, and it probably could be explained away easily.

She looked up as Alaska reappeared at her desk, obviously having realised she’d left her phone. Willam watched her as she picked it up, gave Willam a cursory, worried glance, and then hurried away with her phone close to her chest, her long acrylics tapping on the screen.

Yep. There was definitely a reasonable, innocent explanation to all of this.

***

If Willam had to pinpoint the moment that the day began to go downhill, it was the moment that Sharon stormed out of her office, the open door allowing the noise from outside to stream into the department. It sounded like a small crowd, all shouting and clamouring.

“There is a crowd outside of about ten journalists, and they are ALL here for me, and somehow I don’t think they want to talk about the policy launch tonight,” Sharon seethed, pointing dramatically to the windows.

“Ten?” Courtney repeated, looking to Willam nervously. Willam knew what she was trying to communicate.

“Ten constitutes a lockdown,” she said, Sharon staring at her incredulously. “Sorry Sharon. It’s Bianca’s rules, we go cold turkey on them, no phones, no emails, no exit, and they go away.”

“Fuck. I knew, I actually fucking said, that this would happen,” Courtney sighed despairingly, wrenching her department phone from its cable and slamming it on the desk.

“Can somebody get Bianca round here instantly before I have a fucking stroke,” Sharon breathed, appearing to be on the verge of a breakdown. Courtney was shouting to the comms team about the lockdown, the girls in response all groaning and shaking their heads. Willam smiled despite the situation- since they had got together Courtney seemed to have gained a bit more confidence than usual, and was actually shaping up to be fine leadership material if she ever had designs on that field.

She saw Alaska spring up from her desk on the other side of the room. Sharon followed her gaze.

“Alaska?” she called, but the other girl simply waved her away as, yet again, she ran out of the department to take a phone call.

Sharon was silent from her position beside Willam’s desk. Looking down and seeing that Willam’s eyes were already on her, she coughed. “She’s probably, um. Probably gone to phone Bianca.”

“Probably,” Willam agreed, then looked at Sharon again. She hadn’t been able to get anything out of Alaska, but she could maybe get somewhere with Sharon. Under her breath, she continued. “You two don’t really seem all sunshine and rainbows at the moment, everything okay?”

Sharon gave a heavy sigh, leaning forward on Willam’s desk. “We had a fucking monstrous row this morning. She wants to go public, I said no. She accused me of being ashamed of our relationship, I obviously told her in no uncertain terms how that was a steaming pile of cow shit,” Sharon folded her arms, looking down the corridor that Alaska had disappeared down. “She’s got a fucking cheek, to be honest, considering how weird she’s been acting all week.”

“Oh. Has she?” Willam played dumb. Sharon glared at the corridor.

“She’s been hiding her phone from me, going out for dinners with you allegedly- even though this Snap Chat thingy has a map that tells me where you and Courtney and people are, and you’re at home and she’s at The Ivy.”

Willam’s stomach tightened. Now would be the moment to mention things. But Sharon continued.

“I trust her. I do, I just. Things are hard. With the launch. And I really don’t have the time to think about or imagine worst case scenarios right now,” she exhaled, pushing herself off the desk. “So I’m just not thinking about it until everything is over. That’s not weird, is it? Am I being a total mug?”

Willam couldn’t help but give a snort. “Someone’s been watching too much Love Island.”

“That show is heterosexual trash and I won’t stand for it,” Sharon deadpanned, then looked at Willam in the eyes. “Seriously though, Willam. Am I being thick?”

Willam knew that she had to mention it. She had to say something now, otherwise she never would.

“Right!” Jinkx said from the other end of the office, breaking the hushed conversation in half and forcing both girls to look towards the head of comms. “I’ve got some good news, two pieces actually.”

“Well, we could certainly use some,” Courtney smiled tightly, inviging Jinkx to continue.

“Firstly, I’ve been able to get hold of Bianca through Number 10’s landline. She’s coming round so everyone just…gird your loins. Secondly,” she breathed in and looked at her laptop screen. “The Herald are backing Sharon’s leadership bid, because they admired the stance you took on the war on benefit claimants.”

Sharon’s jaw dropped. “Good news?? This is fucking catastrophically bad news!! No wonder Bianca’s coming over here, she probably wants to sever my head off!!”

“This is what you wanted though, right? I thought you had your sights set on leadership eventually?” Courtney offered, ever the optimist.

“But not now!! Not while the PM’s having a bloody ratings crisis and need support! Jesus scuttering Christ,” Sharon hissed, slamming her hands on Willam’s table and walking across the carpet to nowhere in particular. Willam didn’t miss Alaska re-appearing, sliding into her desk chair as if nothing had happened.

Sharon continued to pace around the office until Bianca arrived some minutes later, the look on her face reminding Willam of school when she was in serious trouble.

“Ah, Dosac,” Bianca began, her face set in a sarcastic smile. “Truly the Harry, Ron and Hermione of government departments. Why, why, fucking WHY is it always you?! The PM is as mad as a dickless dog, and he is particularly fucking furious with you, Sharon.”

“Bianca, please can we skip to the part where you mop up this mess for us, because currently the pavement outside my office is looking very splatty and comfortable and I just want to…fling myself at it with wild abandon,” Sharon sighed, rubbing her forehead.

“Calm down. I’ve got a plan,” Bianca said, her strong voice a welcome presence in the room. She turned around and addressed Jinkx. “Jinkx, I want you to get Sharon’s car outside.”

“My car?!”

“And Sharon, I just want you to pretend,” Bianca continued, “that you have a lunch, or a fake tan appointment, or some other fucking thing to attend to, and on your way out of the building, you address the journalists, and this is what you say.”

“Say?!” Sharon continued, her hand flying to her chest.

“You are not challenging the PM. You are not launching a leadership bid. The Prime Minister is the man to lead us for the foreseeable future. He is the man- of the moment! And then you just get in your car and, I don’t know, drive about a bit or attach a fucking hosepipe to the exhaust or whatever. Is that manageable?”

Sharon blinked, then rubbed her chin. “And you think it’ll make them all go away?”

“It’s worth a fucking try,” Bianca sighed, shaking her head. “But you need to give them something, Sharon, they know I’m in here because I had to fight through them with a fucking samurai sword to get in the bloody building.”

“Right,” Sharon said decisively, turning and running into her office to grab her bag. “Courtney, can I have you with me on this please?”

Courtney shot up from her desk and got herself ready. Alaska watched with detached interest from her own desk.

“Courtney, I need you on the phone with me throughout all of this,” Bianca addressed her, then shouted over to the comms team. “Can someone get the TV out?”

Willam felt a little overwhelmed. Everything seemed to be happening so quickly and she felt caught up in the momentum that Bianca’s idea was gathering.

“The man of the moment, the man of the moment, the man of the moment,” Sharon muttered to herself as she stormed down the department, Courtney running behind her and Bianca shouting encouragement after them both.

Willam, Alaska, Bianca and the comms girls immediately sat in front of the TV, which Adore had dutifully wheeled out, reminding Willam of primary school. Now, though, they weren’t about to settle down to watch a fun, educational programme about times tables- they were about to watch Sharon face the media, and the knot in Willam’s stomach only worsened as, through a BBC live stream, she saw Sharon appear through the revolving glass door. The press immediately hounded her for a statement.

“Miss Needles! Miss Needles. Does the Prime Minister have your backing?”

Sharon had that media-suitable smile on her face as she addressed the crowd. “Yes, the Prime Minister has my full support.”

“Miss Needles, does Alaska Thunder have your backing?”

And then the whole room froze.

Perhaps the TV screen had frozen but no, the journalists were still moving and shouting, but Sharon just stood completely still, her mouth hanging open, her face chalk white. Willam couldn’t look anywhere but the screen.

“I…what, sorry?”

“Alaska Thunder, your advisor? Are you backing her bid to be an MP?”

It was that moment that Willam turned her head to face Alaska, who was standing behind the sofa, fingers grasping the headboard for dear life, her face completely grave.

“I…don’t know anything about that, sorry,” Sharon continued, stuttering her words as she stood, confused, in the light of the cameras.

“Who are you backing, Miss Needles?”

Sharon momentarily let a look of irritation pass her face. “I’m backing the Prime Minister, he is absolutely the right man for the moment.”

Bianca exploded. “For the moment?! Courtney,” she addressed the other advisor on the phone. “get the dosy cow back up here, don’t let her get in the car!”

Willam couldn’t even process the blunder that Sharon had made. Her eyes were still trained on Alaska.

“Alaska,” she said quietly. “Who’s Jeremy?”

In the background on the news, she could hear Sharon repeating her mistake as she walked back into the department.

“Alaska.”

Alaska pushed herself off the headboard of the sofa and took a deep breath. Her voice was small as she began. “He’s my campaign manager. I was going to stand in the by-election for Westminster. Today I was going to find out if I had enough support.”

Willam let what seemed to be all the air out of her lungs at once.

“I, um. I hadn’t told Sharon.”

“Clearly,” Bianca frowned, looking at the TV and then at Alaska, Willam feeling a cold, prickling sense of dread overcoming her knowing that Bianca didn’t even know how bad this was going to be.

Five minutes of frosty silence later where the comms girls slinked awkwardly back to their desks, Sharon emerged and came charging towards the three of them. She targeted Bianca first.

“That was utterly fucking embarrassing, for fuck’s sake Bianca, why am I back up here?!”

“Can I just quote to you your own words? ‘The Prime Minister is the right man- FOR the moment’?” Bianca scowled, gesticulating wildly at Sharon, who had folded her arms in a defensive position.

“That was what you told me to fucking say!”

“OF the moment! I told you to say OF the moment! There is a huge fucking difference, and now it makes you look even more likely to form a fucking cabal!”

Ignoring the other woman’s wrath, Willam’s heart dropped as Sharon turned to face Alaska. She had a deeply hurt expression on her face.

“So! Alaska! Here’s the thing. Apparently you’re going to be an MP!” she began sarcastically, her mouth twisted in a smile that caused Alaska to look to the floor.

“I…didn’t want to tell you-”

“Oh no, no that was pretty fucking clear. So what was it, you were just going to tell me…when? When you were standing up there on the podium on election night? When?”

Willam watched as the whole department fell silent. Her eyes flickered to Bianca’s face. She could tell that she was beginning to see there was something going on.

“I wanted to tell you, I just-”

“Just what?! Just what, Alaska? Because from what I’ve experienced, when something major is happening in your life, you fucking tell your girlfriend about it!”

There was a small shift of movement and noise in the previously silent department. Two people had gasped. Like a horror movie, Willam found it impossible to look away to see who it had been, and she didn’t even want to look at Bianca’s face just now.

“Well you like keeping me a fucking secret so much, Sharon, so why aren’t I allowed one of my own?” Alaska yelled back, the two women openly shouting at each other now.

“What’s this really about, Alaska? Did you get bored of me? Have some fun with a cabinet minister, sleep your way to the top then once you gained enough power and influence you just sneak off into the night?” Sharon continued, her eyes slits as she glared at Alaska. Alaska, for her part, let out a bubble of a sob.

“You know what? Maybe I am bored of you, maybe I am bored of your self-centredness and your absolute dedication to work that involves shutting out other parts of your life, including me! You wouldn’t know this, Sharon, but every time I tried to bring up this MP shit the conversation would magically get sidetracked to you, to your policy launch, to your next interview, to how stressful things were for you, but never me! Never about my work! So why should I fucking bother?!”

“Christ, Alaska, well if you’re so unhappy, why don’t we just call it a day? Since you’re clearly this big, important rising political star! You don’t need me anymore!” Sharon spat, Willam wanting to do something, anything to calm them both down and steer the conversation away from where it was clearly heading.

“You know what, I don’t need you! I don’t fucking need you! I’ve never needed you!” Alaska shouted, tears openly flowing down her face as she sniffed again and again. “But if you let me go Sharon, you have fucking…done it, you have made a fucking mistake, you’re going to lose me for good, I swear to god.”

“What am I losing, Alaska, hm? An average fuck who makes a shit cup of tea who likes to fucking betray me and hang me out to dry at the drop of a hat? Wow, what a loss!” Sharon yelled back, and she had started to cry now, the black mascara tears running down her face. The two girls were in a knife fight, constantly lashing out and cutting and hurting one another whilst simultaneously mutilating themselves, and still Willam couldn’t look away. It was as if she was watching her friends fight through a dream, a nightmare, and perhaps she’d wake up, she had to wake up, this couldn’t be happening now.

“Fuck you,” Alaska spat quietly, her breath coming in shudders as tears rolled down her cheeks, and Sharon was a mirror image, raw emotion displayed on both their faces. “I loved you, Sharon.”

“And I loved you. But that’s politics, isn’t it?” Sharon gave a choked, angry laugh. “I loved you and you did all this behind my back, knowing how much it would undermine me and yet you still went ahead.”

“Well do you know what? Maybe this is for the best. Because now I see how much I really mean to you, compared to this job. I had always wanted to be an MP, and you can’t even support me in this? I thought I knew who you were,” Alaska cried, her voice a hoarse whisper in the silent department. “Now I see you’re just like like the rest of them, a fucking self-centred, vacuous, work-obsessed bitch!”

“Get out of my fucking department,” Sharon’s voice was low as she looked at the floor. “And get out of my life.”

And with that, Alaska gave a shuddering sob, letting her head hang as she walked quickly to her desk, scooped up her bag and coat, and ran out of the department just as Sharon had ordered her to. Nobody spoke, not even Bianca, and everyone watched as Sharon walked very slowly and deliberately to her office, making her way inside, grabbing the handle and slamming the door shut so loudly and forcefully that Willam could feel her blood vibrating.

Sharon’s sobs echoed through the building.

***

The rest of the afternoon and much of the evening leading up to the launch was something that could never normally be said of Dosac- it was quiet. Sharon stayed in her office and the mood around the department was somber, like that of a funeral. Alaska was notable by her absence, her computer still on in front of her desk chair as if she’d just popped out momentarily. Bianca had been in with Sharon and the two had spoken quietly, Willam assuming that Bianca had utilised some of her softer side as Sharon presumably told her everything that had gone on between her and Alaska for the past few months. After their meeting, Bianca had stayed in the department just in case anything further happened with the press. Eventually, Courtney rose from her seat and approached Willam’s desk.

“I thought it’d be nice if we maybe went and got Sharon some nice food and a coffee. She hasn’t eaten yet today and I feel like she could do with something after…everything,” she suggested.

So ten minutes later, Willam found herself waiting for a bento box in Itsu, while Courtney had popped out to Joe and The Juice to get Sharon a green smoothie.

“She’ll hate it,” she’d said by way of a momentary goodbye. “But it’s full of nutrients and she’ll need those. Oh, and get her a bottle of water. She’ll be all dehydrated from crying.”

Willam had done as she was told, and her order had just been called when Courtney arrived back from her smoothie-finding expedition.

“Ready to go? We should probably be getting back, the launch is in less than an hour. Although whether Sharon’s going to actually be able to do the launch, Christ knows,” Courtney bit her lip as Willam picked up the bag of sushi and they both walked out of the shop.

“Sharon’s made of tough stuff. She’ll be fine,” Willam said, although she would have been lying if she wasn’t doubting the words as they came out her mouth.

“I hope so. God, promise me we’ll never end up in an argument like that,” Courtney sighed, slipping a hand into Willam’s and making her feel warm despite the drizzling rain.

She laughed. “I don’t think you’re going to end up backstabbing and undermining me any time soon, Court.”

Courtney was silent for a moment and bit her lip. “Sharon said some shitty things, though.”

“She was angry, and I’m not saying it’s okay, but she won’t have meant it. Alaska, I think, is going to be deeply hurt. I’m worried about how they’re going to recover from this, you know how stubborn they both are.”

“I think they both think it’s completely over,” Courtney sighed, suddenly giving Willam a funny look. Pausing, her voice took on a different tone. “You knew, didn’t you? All this time. About them being together.”

Willam gave a brief and wordless nod. Courtney frowned.

“Why did you never tell me? I know I wasn’t your…with you, at that point,” Courtney corrected herself, making Willam’s heart leap a hurdle. “But I was still your friend. I was friends with the both of you. I know it would have been shit if it had got out, but still. I wouldn’t have told anyone.”

“I know. I’m sorry,” Willam said truthfully. She really did regret not telling Courtney. Who knew, things might have been different if she had known. Maybe they would have been closer, and got together sooner. Willam inwardly kicked herself for idealising the situation for her own advantage as they both stepped back into the department.

“It’s okay. Just…tell me shit,” Courtney gave a soft laugh that was only slightly hurt, which made Willam feel even worse. Before she could attempt to apologise again, Courtney changed the subject as they got into the lift. “Do you actually think she’ll do the launch, Willam?”

Willam frowned. “I don’t know, but we’ve got to hope so.”

As the lift reached their floor, the two girls walked across the quiet office and gave a gentle knock on Sharon’s office, where the blinds had been pulled down. A faint call of permission came from inside, and Willam pushed down on the handle and entered the room. It was dark, as the lights had been switched off, and Sharon sat at her desk staring blankly, unnervingly, into space. In front of her sat her phone, a ripped envelope, and a typed piece of paper. Willam was confused, realisation only dawning on her as Courtney began talking.

“We got you something to eat. I know you might not want it, but you’ll need it for your launch tonight,” Courtney set it down on Sharon’s desk with a kind smile.

“Court,” Willam began gently.

“It’s just a bento box and a smoothie, and there’s some water there if you want it. Just try and eat something, Sharon, it might make you feel better?”

“Courtney,” Willam sighed, taking two steps forward to the desk and picking up the piece of paper. “She’s not going to do the launch.”

As she saw Courtney give her a questioning glare in her peripheral vision, Willam read the words on the paper which confirmed what she had already thought was true.

I’l be waiting at the launch tonight!! Hope your excited to die you terorist sympithiser bitch 

Passing the paper to Courtney, Willam’s heart sank as she looked at Sharon. Sharon’s unblinking, glassy eyes finally met her own.

“Bianca’s sent a car for me, and a bodyguard. They’re taking me home, and the guard’s going to stay with me in my flat. I’m not doing the launch,” Sharon said quietly, disappointedly, before looking to Courtney and giving a sad smile. “Thanks, though. For the food.”

Willam couldn’t help but be a little surprised. “You’re really not going ahead with it?”

“Willam!” Courtney hissed at her.

“What? I’m just saying. You’re Sharon Needles, the political tour de force. Just last month you gave a speech to a room much bigger than tonight after getting one of these bullshit death threats, we know they’re full of hot air. I’m just wondering what makes tonight so different?”

Sharon gave a mirthless laugh. “I don’t give a fuck about the threats. Let them threaten me, whoever they are. But Alaska,” her voice gave a crack as she said the other girl’s name. “I can’t do…anything without Alaska.”

Willam stood quietly. She had had no idea that Sharon would have been that affected by what had happened, presuming that she was the sort of person who would maybe have a cry about it and move on. She had had no idea that Sharon’s love for Alaska was so deep. “I’m sorry, Sharon.”

“No, don’t be sorry. I’m better off, I’m sure. I’ll be fine,” Sharon said coldly, Willam knowing immediately that her tone was meant to mask her real feelings.

“Sharon, I’m sure she wants to make up,” Courtney consoled her.

“I’m not going to hear anything from her today. And probably never will hear anything from her again.”

Just then, there was a soft knock on the door. Bianca’s head appeared from behind the glass, her face grave.

“Your car’s ready,” she said simply, frowning as she looked back into the office. “But there’s a lot of press arriving. Didn’t Jinkx cancel everything?”

“Fuck, I didn’t get her to cancel. I haven’t left this office, Bianca,” Sharon said, rubbing her already very swollen and red eyes. Bianca frowned, obviously ready to shout at her and then deciding that it could probably wait until she wasn’t heartbroken.

“Well, we’ll need to go and cancel it now. But this isn’t going to look good. At all,” Bianca said tersely.

“I’m sorry that me breaking up with my girlfriend is causing an inconvenience to Westminster,” Sharon deadpanned humourlessly, leaning back in her chair. Bianca gave her a steely glare.

“The girlfriend that you should never have got involved with in the first place and that you were very, very fucking lucky never found its way into the press,” Bianca muttered quietly, as Sharon hung her head. She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “Right, well. That’s that then. I’ll go and tell Jinkx.”

Willam suddenly found her mouth opening before she could stop it. “I’ll launch it.”

The room seemed to buzz with silence. Sharon looked at Willam quizzically. Willam gave a shrug.

“It doesn’t technically need to be launched by Sharon. I know basically what it is, and could just explain it briefly. I know that Sharon would be conspicuous by her absence but it’s better than cancelling the whole thing.”

Sharon shook her head. “You really don’t have to do this.”

“I don’t, but I want to,” Willam said simply.

As soon as she glanced at Courtney and saw her looking at her proudly, she knew she’d made the best decision.

“Right. Okay then,” Bianca shrugged. “Well, we’ve not got long. Let’s get you miced up.”

The time passed very quickly after that, Willam thought, as she was rushed through a series of briefs from Bianca as Courtney spruced up her makeup and Sharon watched silently from her chair. It was crazy how much of a flurry everything was, and Willam wondered how Sharon could do this every day. She couldn’t help but think about Alaska; where she was now, what she might have been doing. She wondered if she was still going to go ahead with being an MP or whether she might ever patch things up with Sharon. Willam supposed that in any normal relationship that had lasted the length of hers and Sharon’s, things could have been repaired, but both the women were hot-headed, hot-tempered, and above all, stubborn. Willam caught Courtney’s eye as the other girl dashed back to her makeup bag to fetch something, and they shared a reassuring smile. Christ, she hoped nothing would ever go wrong between them.

Before long, Willam was standing at the door to a room which contained about twenty journalists, all phones-out and recorder-ready. Jinkx had explained that in the wake of the day’s events, she’d found it suddenly easy to get journalists to attend a Sharon Needles launch, many of them clearly hopeful that a leadership announcement would be forthcoming.

“Right. Okay. Guess I’m going to launch a policy that isn’t mine,” Willam took a shaky breath as she looked at Courtney, who was there for moral support. Courtney looked at her, her eyes soft, and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.

“You’ll be amazing. I know you’re going to do it justice. Sharon would be proud of you. I’m proud of you,” she said, giving her a smile and a kiss on the cheek. Willam’s heart thrummed in her chest as she remembered the promise she’d made to herself, and that if everything went well tonight she would finally be able to call Courtney her girlfriend. It seemed too outrageous to ever be true, but Courtney was beside her, holding her hand and smiling, and so Willam felt that maybe she had every reason to be optimistic.

The journalists looked disappointed as Willam walked across to a small podium beside a slideshow, ready to begin. Courtney stood just outside of the room at the door, and gave Willam a big thumbs-up. With a quick glance to the first slide, which read “New Communities- Sharon is Caring”, and then to the audience, Willam began to speak without having really planned which words would come out.

“Um. Hi everyone. No need to stand, as I said to Sharon Needles earlier today,” she laughed awkwardly, receiving radio silence from the audience. “In all seriousness I should clarify that Sharon Needles has no intention of challenging the Prime Minister and fully supports his visions for the future. Incidentally, erm, Sharon’s not here, she’s come down with something and has had to go home, but we thought that we should still have everyone here to celebrate the launch of this policy that Ms. Needles has managed to create. It is really something special.”

Willam clicked onto the next slide which revealed a pie chart and lots of figures. Panicking slightly, she looked to Courtney, who gave her a blank glance. Willam had never seen this powerpoint before, and with a sinking feeling she realised that Sharon and Alaska must have worked on it together.

“Um. Not really sure what that’s meant to represent, but…it’s definitely something good. Unless it’s a reference to the current opposition. In which case…it’s bad.”

Willam’s blood gave a jolt as the journalists began to laugh. She was always confident, especially in situations like this, and she never gave a fuck what people thought, but now she was self-conscious. She clicked onto the next slide, which showed a run-down street in the baking sun, with a disillusioned-looking black family sitting on the pavement outside a crumbling house. Okay, thought Willam. Easy enough reference, obviously the refugees that we’re meant to be welcoming.

“New Communities will provide stable, safe homes for victims of war or drone strikes in countries such as Syria or Iraq. This is an illustration of how families can live in such countries-”

The journalists were laughing again. Willam stopped abruptly and looked at Courtney, wide-eyed. Courtney motioned frantically to her phone. Willam immediately checked hers from under the podium.

C: TOWER HAMLETS!!!!!!!

C: IN LONDON!!!!!!!!

Willam’s stomach dropped. She needed out of the situation quickly.

“Anyway, all the literature is there on the tables at the back, help yourself to crisps and-”

Another murmur from the journalists made Willam stop, but this time they weren’t concerned with her. They were looking at the door. Willam followed their eyes and to her surprise she saw Sharon standing in the doorframe, her outfit immaculate and crumple-free, her makeup pristine, and a wide smile on her face which didn’t look the least bit fake. A tall, broad man in a suit stood beside her, clearly her newly-appointed bodyguard. As Willam met her eyes, she noticed they were still puffy, but the redness had been taken away by concealer. Sharon raised her eyebrows at her expectantly. Willam turned back to the journalists and stuttered.

“And…here is Sharon Needles, to explain New Communities better than I ever could.”

With that, the audience clapped, and Sharon walked up to the podium quickly and confidently with her bodyguard following her like a shadow, her back straight and her head held high. Willam walked to stand beside Courtney, both their faces the picture of shock. As Sharon started speaking, Willam leaned in to Courtney.

“How the fuck-”

“I don’t know,” Courtney answered immediately, shaking her head. “But let’s hope it goes well. We’ll stay and watch this then go back to yours, right?”

Willam smiled and nodded, her heart immediately thumping quickly again, and was about to say something when Biana appeared in the doorway and took Willam’s arm.

“A word?”

Willam grimaced as she was led out the room. She immediately assumed she was about to be bollocked for the mess she’d made of the launch. But as Bianca led her into a small resource room, her face wasn’t particularly grave, which gave Willam hope.

“That was a very courageous thing to do, Willam. An advisor launching a cabinet minister’s policy.”

“Why is she out there? How is she out there? Bianca-”

“I just gave her a pep talk. Asked her if she really wanted Willam fucking Belli to be the face of her policy for years to come,” Bianca gave a smirk, Willam rolling her eyes.

“Was this an actual pep talk, or a launch-the-fucking-policy-before-I-replace-your-eyes-with-party-poppers pep talk?”

“Hey, I can be quite fucking motivational when I want to be,” Bianca chastised her, picking up a random pen from a shelf and fidgeting with it.

Willam frowned. “Bianca, there was another threat on her life.”

“Oh, come on Willam, do you not think I know that? Did you not see the fucking six foot man mountain Phil Mitchell wannabe I sent her in there with? Besides, she’ll be fine. Anyway, I’m not here to talk about Sharon,” Bianca’s eyes suddenly bore into Willam’s, Willam suddenly wondering if she was about to receive praise or censure. “I’m here to talk about you. You remember the jobs I was talking about at Number 10?”

“Yeah, of course,” she replied, wondering immediately where this was going. Her newly-optimistic brain was immediately hopeful.

“Well, I don’t want to get your hopes up, but I wanted to let you know you’re in the frame. The PM will be starting the selection process in a few weeks. We’ve been talking, and we’re both impressed by your skill set,” Bianca said, her face letting Willam know that nothing she was saying was a joke.

She could hardly believe it. “Jesus, Bianca, that’s amazing. Thank you. Seriously, thank you-”

“Although,” Bianca continued, her eyes narrowing. “You know how word gets round. Is it true you’ve shacked up with the blonde kangaroo herself out there?”

Willam’s blood froze, her heart suddenly hammering in her ears. “How the fuck did you know about that?”

“Well, when the whole of Dosac knows,” Bianca gave a small laugh. “Then obviously it was only a matter of time until I found out.”

Willam gave a sardonic snort. “So Alaska and Sharon kept their relationship a complete secret for about nine months but you instantly know about me and Court within one?!”

“So it is true!” Bianca smiled, happy to have confirmed what she had been suspecting. Willam swallowed.

“Well. We’re not ‘shacked up’ but yes, we’re seeing each other,” she said, hoping her voice didn’t betray how nervous she felt. Where the fuck was Bianca going here?

“That’s great. Lovely! And I’m happy for you both, I really am. It’s just…” Bianca trailed off, letting her gaze drop to the floor. “You know what it’s like at Number Ten. It gets busy, and stressful, and intense, and if we’re hiring somebody, we need to know, really know, that they’re committed to the job. That there’s not any distractions going on. If you know what I’m saying.”

Willam felt the panic rising in her head. At once, she saw the job, her job, the job she’d wanted in the building she’d wanted for so long, slipping away from her. “No, of course! I mean, of course not. Me and Courtney, it’s not…it’s not a serious thing, you know, it’s one of those things that’ll fizzle out after a while. I’m not…attached. Like that. I wouldn’t. You know, Court’s nice, but…it’s not like that, Bianca, it really isn’t, my job is my job and I’d…I’d do anything for that Number 10 job and I don’t give a fuck how desperate it sounds.”

“Well, I’m not asking you to get down on your knees and beg! Don’t shit yourself,” Bianca laughed. “But as long as I have your assurance that this isn’t a big long-term thing then?”

“Oh no, no. It’s…about as short term as it gets!” Willam gave an awkward laugh. She knew she was lying through her teeth, and she wondered how she’d deal with things when Bianca found out that her and Courtney were in fact serious and that they were about to become the girlfriend kind of serious, but she could cross that bridge when she was sitting at a desk in Downing Street.

“Good,” Bianca smiled briefly, before opening the door and exiting the cupboard. “See you tomorrow, Willam.”

Willam’s heart gave a leap. This was fucking incredible- she was going to ask Courtney to be her girlfriend, and she was in the running for a job at Number Ten. It was like all her lucky days had come at once. Instantly, she walked quickly back to the press conference to tell Courtney, but suddenly realised that it must have finished as she was talking to Bianca. She almost ran back to the department, her heart feeling as if it was about to take off as she ran up to Courtney who was busy pulling her coat on and getting ready to leave.

“Court! Court, I just spoke to Bianca, and she told me that I’m on the shortlist to work at Number Ten! Can you fucking believe it?!”

And then everything seemed to turn into a long, slow, painful violin glissando as Willam realised that Courtney was looking at her through the iciest stare that Willam had seen fixed on her in a long time, and Willam instantly knew what had happened.

The door to the resource room had been ajar.

“Courtney-” she began, instantly trying to make amends, but Courtney immediately jumped in in front of her.

“Well, I’m really glad you’re happy, Willam. The job clearly means a lot to you. I’m going home now,” she said, in a voice that made Willam’s blood run cold. She’d never heard Courtney talk like this, never in all her time of knowing her. But now that tone was being reserved for her, and it made Willam feel physically sick, fuck, why had she told Bianca such a stupid fucking lie?

“Court, please,” Willam tried again, Courtney simply looking at her emotionlessly. Willam found herself hoping to see tears in Courtney’s eyes, a clue that perhaps Courtney did still hold some affection towards her and that everything could be talked out and fixed, but her eyes were cold and hard and Willam felt all the optimism draining away from her body. “Everything I said was a big, massive fucking lie just so that I could get that job, nothing I said was true at all. I don’t know what you heard, but-”

“I heard enough,” Courtney said coldly, her voice seeming to be the only thing that Willam could hear in the room, even though she wasn’t talking particularly loudly. The comms girls continued to talk amongst themselves mere feet away. “Well, I don’t know, Willam, but it all seemed like pretty impassioned lying to me. I’m glad you can lie, I’m glad it comes so naturally to you. You’re clearly very good at it.”

Willam stood frozen to the spot. She couldn’t move. Courtney’s stare continued to freeze her whole body as she paused, then continued talking. “I remembered everything, Willam. The night of Alyssa Edwards’ ball? I remembered every single fucking thing. But you know why I pretended I’d forgotten? Because I thought you and me would have been a bad idea. Even though I’ve had feelings for you since longer than I can remember, by the way. But no, I thought we would have been a bad idea, so I ignored my feelings. I thought you maybe felt the same way, and then it turned out that you did, and I was so happy. But I was right, it wasn’t a good idea. Me and you. So, uh, I’m going home, as I said. And I think it’s best that we don’t continue seeing each other, don’t you? Keep things strictly professional. You’re good at that, Willam. You’re good at your job, I’m glad it makes you happy. So, I’ll, um. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Courtney grabbed her bag from on top of her desk and began to make her way past Willam. Willam, for her part, couldn’t find the words to say anything. What could she say? Anything she did say would have been completely useless, or would only make things worse. Just as she reached Willam, Courtney turned around, and Willam found her stupid heart hoping that maybe she’d take everything back, that she’d sigh and suggest a way they could fix things. Maybe that was the way forward.

“Court, we can fix this,” Willam felt herself saying, the words feeling cheap as soon as she’d said them. Courtney gave a slow, sarcastic smile that was filled with nothing but contempt.

“You know, I can’t believe I allowed myself to fa-” Courtney began, then trailed off as she looked to the floor, a flash of sadness crossing her face before she steadied herself and looked Willam in the eye again. “The only thing you’re going to be fixing anytime soon is the next election. Have a good night, Willam.”

Willam’s eyes stared into the same space Courtney had been as she left, her footsteps slowly retreating. Willam heard her shout a goodbye to the comms girls, a stark contrast of normality to the conversation that had just taken place. Willam blinked. She wasn’t a crier. She never cried. She was just really, really, really fucking upset, like someone had brutally forced a shard of glass through her ribcage. It dawned on her after a while that she must have been standing in that same spot beside Courtney’s desk for minutes. Suddenly, she was struck with a feeling of having no fucking idea of what to do.

So she did what she could do; she walked slowly over to her desk, pulled on her coat as if she was sleepwalking, then began to make her way to the lifts to go home. As she walked past the comms girls, she heard Katya’s voice drift through the department.

“Oh, fuck yes, I forgot I still had maltesers in this bag! I knew today was going to be a good day.”

As she left the department, Willam had an unbelievably powerful urge to turn the lights off behind her, to keep walking and never turn back, or to never stop.

[patriotsnet]

How Many Gay Republicans Are There

New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/how-many-gay-republicans-are-there/

How Many Gay Republicans Are There

List Of Lgbt Politicians In The United States

How Many GOP State Senators Are There, Adam?

This is a chronological list of openly lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender politicians who have held office in the United States. Historical figures are included only if there is documented evidence of an open queer identity.

Most out LGBT politicians in the U.S. are part of the Democratic Party, which has taken a more favorable stance than Republicans towards LGBT rights.

Nbc Outcourt Orders Idaho To Provide Gender Surgery For Trans Inmate

Despite the backlash to the Trump endorsement, Charles Moran, the groups national spokesperson, told NBC News the group has no plans to rescind its support for the president as it was a universal decision determined by the board of directors and chapters.

When asked whether Henry was involved in the endorsement decision, Moran said he could not speak to that as he was not on the phone call during her resignation but that he and the board thank her for her service to the Log Cabin Republicans.

Henrys departure comes just weeks before the groups Sept. 17 Spirit of Lincoln reception in D.C. The annual event has typically included a dinner and reception featuring high-profile Republican attendees, but this year there will only be a reception.

Were seeing a lot of what I thought would happen: A lot of prominent leaders are leaving the group, Evans told NBC News. We need a Republican group that advocates for LGBTQ issues, but the Log Cabin Republicans have sent the message that this is not their priority.

While Democrats Take The Lesbian And Gay Community For Granted Donald Trumps Republican Party Is Delivering Real Results

Democrats are using their convention this week to tout their agenda for the next four years, including their promise to stand up for the lesbian and gay community. For years, Democratic Party leaders have taken for granted the lesbian and gay community along with other minority communities thinking they had no where else to turn. Those days are over.;

Ive fought for civil rights for gay Americans for the past four decades. Today, the Republican Party is delivering real results and leadership for our community:

It hasnt always been this way. For years, the GOP generally stood against the inclusion of gay and lesbian conservatives. As one of the Republican National Committees first openly gay members, and a longtime leader of Log Cabin Republicans, Ive worked tirelessly alongside many friends and colleagues to pull the party into the future. Today, thanks in large part to the leadership of President Donald;Trump, the party has delivered meaningful policy victories for gays and lesbians.;

He didnt abandon these principles when he assumed his position behind the Resolute Desk.;

Don’t Miss: Why Are Democrats And Republicans So Divided

Log Cabin Republicans V United States

A lawsuit filed by LCR in federal court challenging the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy, which excludes homosexuals from openly serving in the U. S. military, went to trial on July 13, 2010, presided by Judge Virginia Phillips. LCR argued that the policy violates the rights of homosexual military members to free speech, due process and open association. The government argued that DADT was necessary to advance a legitimate governmental interest. LCR introduced several admissions by President Barack Obama, including that DADT “doesn’t contribute to our national security,” “weakens our national security,” and that reversing DADT is “essential for our national security”. Rather than address plaintiff’s claims or bring evidence to support their own claims of national interest, the government relied exclusively on the policy’s 1993 legislative history.

On September 9, 2010, Phillips ruled in favor of plaintiffs, finding that DADT violates the First and Fifth Amendments to the United States Constitution.

On September 29, 2011, the United States Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit vacated the district court’s decision, ruling that the legislative repeal of “don’t ask, don’t tell” by President Barack Obama and the outgoing Democratic congressional majority in December 2010 rendered the case moot. The dismissal left the lower court ruling without value as precedent.

Support Metro Weeklys Journalism

These are challenging times for news organizations. And yet its crucial we stay active and provide vital resources and information to both our local readers and the world. So wont you please take a moment and consider supporting Metro Weekly with a membership? For as little as $5 a month, you can help ensure Metro Weekly magazine and MetroWeekly.com remain free, viable resources as we provide the best, most diverse, culturally-resonant LGBTQ coverage in both the D.C. region and around the world. Memberships come with exclusive perks and discounts, your own personal digital delivery of each weeks magazine , access to our Member’s Lounge when it launches this fall, and exclusive members-only items like Metro Weekly Membership Mugs and Tote Bags! Check out all our membership levels here and please join us today!

Also Check: Why Do Republicans Hate John Mccain

Hawaii And South Dakota

At the start of this election cycle, only three U.S. states Hawaii, South Dakota and Mississippi had no openly LGBTQ elected officials at any level of government. This year, candidates in Hawaii and South Dakota hoped to get their states off that list.

However, in Hawaii, Adrian Tam who upset a 14-year incumbent in the August Democratic primary for the state House of Representatives defeated Republican Nicholas Ochs, making him Hawaiis only openly LGBTQ elected official.

Why Dont They Support Gay Rights

The reason why gay Republicans dont argue for gay rights is that they dont need to care. They wont get subject to any physical attacks or abuses for being gay. For example, Peter Thiel is a rich Silicon Valley billionaire. He doesnt deal with homophobia because he can just buy out your company and fire you. Hell never be subject to a hate crime because he can afford private security. People like Guy Benson, while not a filthy rich billionaire, also have a lot of privilege. He looks straight presenting, so he wont get harassed by strangers for being gay.

When you become rich and privileged enough, the problems that affect people in your situation completely disappear, and it allows you to not care about the issues that pertinently affect your community.

Whether people like them or not, gay Republicans will still exist, but they need to stop taking credit for advancing gay rights because they never did.

Also Check: Why Do Republicans Oppose The Affordable Care Act

Poll: Large Majorities Including Republicans Oppose Discrimination Against Lesbian Gay Bisexual And Transgender People By Employers And Health Care Providers

Half Say Society Hasnt Gone Far Enough in Accepting Transgender People

Large majorities of Americans think it should be illegal for either employers or health care providers to discriminate against people because they are lesbian, gay or bisexual, or transgender, a new KFF poll finds. This includes large majorities of Republicans, independents and Democrats across a range of questions about such discrimination.

The poll gauges the publics views following two major developments this month that move in opposite directions on LGBTQ protections. First, the Trump administration finalized regulations removing protections based on sexual orientation and gender identity in health care, arguing that the definition of sex does not extend to either. Then last week the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that gender identity and sexual orientation are protected under the definition of sex discrimination in the workplace.

The poll finds:

9 in 10 in ten adults agree with last weeks Supreme Court ruling, say it should be illegal for employers to fire or refuse to hire people because they are lesbian, gay, or bisexual or transgender .

About 9 in 10 say it should be illegal for doctors or other health care providers to refuse to treat people because they are lesbian, gay, or bisexual or transgender .

85% say it should be illegal for health insurance companies to refuse to pay for health care services for people who are transgender.

Other findings include:

Topics

Gay Republicans Explain Why They Are Proudly Supporting Donald Trump

The Gay Minority – How Many Americans Are Gay?

Trump was the GOP nominee to positively refer to the gay community at the RNC.

Gay Republicans Say Why They’re Supporting Donald Trump

— Charles Moran, a gay Trump delegate from California, was standing just feet from the stage at the Republican National Convention when he heard billionaire PayPal co-founder Peter Thiel give his now-famous speech.

Every American has a unique identity. I am proud to be gay. I am proud to be a Republican, Thiel told a cheering crowd at the RNC in Cleveland this past July.

Thiel made history that night as the first openly gay RNC speaker, and this week he doubled down on his Donald Trump endorsement, donating $1.25 million to his campaign.

Thiel sits on the board of , and so when many in the online community lashed out at him for supporting Trump, Facebook founder stepped in to defend him, writing in a post, There are many reasons a person might support Trump that do not involve racism, sexism, xenophobia or accepting sexual assault.

Moran said listening to Thiels speech was an incredible moment.

This is my Republican Party, Moran said. This is what I’m here for. This is the candidate I’m here to nominate. The guy who brings somebody like Peter Thiel to the deck and puts him up on stage — that’s my Republican Party.

As Trumps chances of winning the election appear to continue to drop in the waning days of his campaign, many gay conservatives, an unexpected segment of the Republican Party, are still backing him.

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Nbc Outtrump Applauds Poll Showing 45 Percent Support Among Gay Men

Kazmierczak called Trump a staunch supporter of gay people and their rights, but he said he makes a distinction when it comes to religious groups.

“He doesn’t want gay rights forced on religious institutions,” Kazmierczak said. “It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t support gay people. It means that to him, religious freedom is more important than social issues.”

Trump made a halfhearted effort to court the LGBTQ community in the run-up to the 2016 presidential election. He called the massacre of 49 mostly LGBTQ people at the Pulse nightclub in Orlando, Florida, that year an “assault on the ability of free people to live their lives, love who they want and express their identity.”

At the 2016 Republican National Convention in Cleveland, Trump swore “to protect our LGBTQ citizens from the violence and oppression of a hateful foreign ideology.”

And two days before Election Day, he grabbed an upside-down Pride flag inscribed with “LGBT for Trump” at a rally in Colorado and waved it around.

Once in office, however, Trump has consistently opposed LGBTQ rights from rolling back Obama-era nondiscrimination protections to banning openly transgender service members in the military. The national LGBTQ rights group GLAAD has accused the Trump administration of 181 separate attacks on the community since his inauguration.

President made history for #LGBT Americans and nobody knows that better than . #GetOUTspoken

LogCabinRepublicans

Women Young Adults Have Highest Estimations Of Us Gay Population

U.S. women estimate that about three in 10 Americans are gay or lesbian — the highest of any key subgroup, and much higher than men’s perceptions .

Meanwhile, average estimates of the U.S. gay population vary by age. Adults aged 18 to 29 offer the highest estimate , and adults aged 65 and older, the lowest .

Among political partisans, Democrats and independents estimate that about a quarter of Americans are gay or lesbian, while the average approximation among Republicans is a bit lower .

Even the groups offering the lowest average estimates of gays and lesbians in the U.S. exceed Gallup’s figure on all LGBT identification by about four times.

Mean estimate

Gallup, May 15-30, 2019

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Back Into The Wider World

After Bakers speech, the groups first female chairman, Sarah Longwell, announced the afterparty was at Nellies, a popular gay/sports bar with a weekend drag-queen brunch. You boys enjoy yourselves, she said, Ive got kids at home. Someone appeared in a skin-tight Make America Great Again dress and posed for photos in front of the Log Cabin logo with the dress designer; they were the most exotically outfitted attendees:

Online, Democratic critics unsheathed their knives. Your org has accomplished nothing in 40 fucking years as the GOP has gone from bad to worse to Trump on your watch, the activist and advice columnist;Dan Savage wrote;in response to a cheery tweet from Angelo celebrating the night. Go fuck yourselves Log Cabin Republicans, Savage wrote.

At the Mayflower, after a few minutes of post-speech;networking chatter, much of the room cleared out.

Outside the grand ballroom two women in pantsuits walked down the wide marble hallway from the party. They casually held hands for a moment, then unclasped as they approached the crowded lobby.

Next to the front door stood a group of men in well-cut suits in shades of charcoal. It was impossible to tell if they were they from the Log Cabin event or part of the Mayflowers regular carousel of business guests.

And that, the Log Cabin Republicans would tell you, is exactly the point.

Working For Lgbt Americans

In 2019, Department of Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar announced that pharmaceutical company Gilead Sciences;Inc., would donate pre-exposure prophylaxis medication for uninsured, high-risk HIV individuals.

As part of the president’s Ending the HIV Epidemic: A Plan for America initiative, this medication, which could run up to as much as $20,000 per patient, per year, would be distributed to up to 200,000 individuals each year through at least Dec.;31, 2025.;

The Trump plan is focused on communities most in need and has received;support from those who have been involved in the fight against HIV/AIDS.

In similar fashion, Trump announced during Pride Month in 2019 that his administration was launching a global campaign to end the criminalization of homosexuality. His leadership on this issue couldnt be more necessary;;even in 2020, 72 countries;still identify same-sexual orientation as criminal, including eight;where it is punishable;by death.;

This campaign was spearheaded by former U.S. Ambassador to Germany Richard Grenell, an openly gay member of the administration who subsequently served as acting director of U.S. national intelligence, becoming the first openly gay Cabinet member in our history. In coordination with the United Nations, the European Union and other human rights organizations,;the campaigns goal is to pressure nations into ending homophobic laws, securing the safety and freedom of all LGBT individuals throughout the world.

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Lgbt Demographics Of The United States

This article is missing information about LGBT demographics in the U.S. territories. Please expand the article to include this information. Further details may exist on the talk page.

The demographics of sexual orientation and gender identity in the United States have been studied in the social sciences in recent decades. A 2017 Gallup poll concluded that 4.5% of adult Americans identified as LGBT with 5.1% of women identifying as LGBT, compared with 3.9% of men. A different survey in 2016, from the Williams Institute, estimated that 0.6% of U.S. adults identify as transgender.

Studies from several nations, including the U.S., conducted at varying time periods, have produced a statistical range of 1.2 to 6.8 percent of the adult population identifying as LGBT. Online surveys tend to yield higher figures than other methods, a likely result of the higher degree of anonymity of Internet surveys, and demographic of those utilizing online platforms which elicit reduced levels of socially desirable responding. The U.S. Census Bureau does not ask about sexual orientation in the United States Census.

Burning During The War Of 1812

On August 2425, 1814, in a raid known as the , British forces invaded the capital during the . The , , and were burned and gutted during the attack. Most government buildings were repaired quickly; however, the Capitol was largely under construction at the time and was not completed in its current form until 1868.

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Trans Rights: A Perplexing Issue

Like many other gay conservatives, however, he seems to disconnect gay rights and transgender rights. Kabel recalled a recent article with a quotation from the conservative activist Tony Perkins that contrasted the Democratic and Republican platforms in 2016.

“The only issue Perkins raised was the transgender bathroom issue,” Kabel said. “And I thought, ‘That means we won.'”

Kabel called transgender equality “one of the most perplexing issues going.”

“Transgender people deserve support and protection just like anybody else, but it’s a very complex issue,” he said. “It’s remarkable when you hear their stories, but it’s just a very perplexing issue about how to really address it and do it so that they’re protected but other people aren’t hurt, so that people’s religious views are actually taken into consideration.”

Transgender visibility is all but absent in the Log Cabin Republicans, from their leadership to their messaging.

An OUTSpoken Instagram post compares the LGBT left to the LGBT right by putting an image of a person who appears to be transgender or gender-nonconforming next to a shirtless picture of former U.S. Rep. Aaron Schock, while the campaigns store sells T-shirts bearing slogans like “gay for Tucker” “gay for Melania” and “gay not stupid.

OUTspoken sent Brokeback Patriot, who has stated trans women are not women, to New Orleans Southern Decadence party to ask passersby if they think Trump is pro-gay.

[ollyarchive]

Olly Alexander on harnessing the power of sexual fantasy in pop

The Years & Years frontman talks about owning his queer sexuality in the mainstream and writing a twisted disco album about ‘holy wood’

Owen Myers

9 March 2018

“It’s like my Rihanna Loud era,” declares Olly Alexander, before breaking into a laugh. The Years & Yearsfrontman is referring to his cropped curly hair, which is freshly coloured to the hue of a nice Merlot. It’s a cold February evening, and he’s puffing on a roll-up while huddled in the fire exit doorway of a Camden venue. His new dye job has to be kept under wraps, he explains, until its official unveiling in the band’s new video. “It’s so stupid,” Olly says with an eye roll. He then flashes me a grin, suggesting that this moment of starry subterfuge is not entirely unwelcome.

Olly Alexander really likes being a pop star. He says that it’s full of “fairytale” moments, like when his Years & Years earnings enabled him to buy his mum a house, or when he and his ex-boyfriend, Neil Milan (formerly of Clean Bandit), became embraced as British pop’s new golden couple. After winning the BBC Sound poll in 2015, Years & Years’ earworm synth pop was everywhere. They had an inescapable number one single, “King”, and their album Communion was the fastest selling debut that year from a signed British band. Olly says that there are downsides to the tabloid headlines and Twitter trolls that come along with being “a public gay man” – a phrase that he puts in self-deprecating air quotes. But right now, those pressures feel far away, as he prepares to change into a bright pink boiler suit and play to a boozed-up Saturday night crowd, at an Annie Mac-curated showcase. Or, as he put it on Twitter earlier today: bring his “gay agenda” to The Roundhouse.

Years & Years’ great new single, “Sanctify”, contrasts lurking vocals with an ecstatic synth-fuelled chorus, and is as unapologetic as any of Olly’s pithy social media posts. He was newly single when he wrote the song, and reading Andrew Holleran’s 1978 chronologue of gay desire, Dancer From the Dance, had got him thinking about a couple of hookups he’d had with straight-identifying men. “It would always be under darkness,” he says. “It had this added layer of eroticism because it was somewhat forbidden. But (being with me) was a window where they could be themselves, and I felt responsible not to fuck them up.” Those conflicting feelings come through in evocative lyrics about obscuring masks and sinful confessions, with a climax that’s about as on-the-nose as chart pop gets. “I sanctify my sins when I pray,” says Olly, quoting the chorus’s payoff. “What do you do what you pray? You get on your knees. So is it a sexual baptism?” He laughs. “I was just like, ‘There’s a lot to work with here.’”

Years & Years are a three-piece, but the other two members, Mikey Goldsworthy and Emre Türkmen, tend to hunker down behind synths and let Olly take centre stage. His soul-searching lyrics give the band’s maximalist pop its heart, with a singing voice that pierces through a constellation of synths. Their videos bring acts which are often shrouded in darkness into the light, showing the singer cruising in a dank car park, or at a pansexual orgy. The new “Sanctify” visual riffs on dom/sub culture, with an elaborate sci-fi plot that is a device for Olly to perform “Slave 4 U”-inspired dance moves to an audience of androids. When he was commissioned to write a song for the Bridget Jones franchise, he made it about bottoming. “I have sex, I enjoy sex,” he says flatly. He’s sitting in his cosy dressing room the Roundhouse, which rumbles with bass as Disclosure and Mabel soundcheck next door. “In the past, I think gay men (in pop) have often shied away from being overtly sexual, or being commanding of their sexuality. But I believe that our sexual fantasies are a big drive for us all. Exploring that side of yourself is super empowering.”

In the past year or so, many well-known LGBTQ artists have begun to bring queerness into their music in sex-positive ways. Pop’s boy-next-door Troye Sivan strapped on Tom Of Finland leathers for a back alley moment with well-fluffed trade, Janelle Monáe caressed women’s bare thighs, Fever Ray returned with a concept album about queer kink. For better or worse, Sam Smith is now calling himself a “dick monster”on primetime telly. “Sometimes seeing a man express themselves in an overtly sexual way, especially a gay man, makes certain conservative people feel a bit uncomfortable,” Olly says. “I always wanna keep people a little uncomfortable.”

“I believe that our sexual fantasies are a big drive for us all. Exploring that side of yourself is super empowering” – Olly Alexander

Years & Years are far from the first mainstream British pop act to proudly put gay sexuality at the centre of their music – that’s a lineage that runs from Will Young to George Michael, Pet Shop Boys to Bronski Beat, and beyond. But Olly’s performances are a reminder that mainstream pop can be open to explicit queerness (at least, when it’s embodied in a handsome white cis man). Olly has faith that you don’t have to be “generic to be palatable,” and that “straight guys can hear a song that I’ve written about being fucked by another guy, but still relate.” LGBTQ+ people like me grew up seeing straight culture pretty much everywhere; seeing more of our community thrive is crucial.

Growing up in the Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire, Olly was a flamboyant kid. That got him bullied at school, called a “batty boy” before he was even aware that he was gay, and meant that he retreated into drama lessons. While acting, he felt it was okay – a good thing, even – to be expressive. He always nurtured a passion for music, too; he taught himself how to play Joni Mitchell songs on piano, and obsessed over “Dirrty”-era Christina Aguilera. An early performance at a year six assembly blended intimate songwriting and outré entertainment: Olly played piano and sang lyrics about lost love, while two of his friends did a dance routine.

In his late teens and early 20s, Olly cropped up in whimsical micro-budget indie films like 2011’s The Dish And The Spoon, alongside Greta Gerwig, as well as Gaspar Noé’s Enter The Void, and Skins. But his early experiences at school stayed with him. “Your first encounter with your sexuality is often from people bullying you and calling you the thing that you just pray to god that you won’t be – but deep down suspect you might be,” Olly says. “Well, no wonder we have an incredibly conflicting relationship with our bodies and our sexualities, because we’ve had to experience all of that.”

Reflecting on these difficult early years in his dressing room, Olly speaks openly about his own decade-long experience with depression, and the inadequate NHS provisions for those who are struggling with mental health. LGBTQ+ folks disproportionately struggle with depression and substance abuse, he recognises, and there’s only one UK organisation, London Friend, that caters directly to the specific needs of the queer community. “I’ve been there,” says Olly. “They’re amazing, but they are over-subscribed, with a tiny office, old chairs, and not a lot of money. When you’re seeing that people aren’t getting the help they should be, there’s an issue there.” That’s something he knows from first-hand experience. Last year, Olly fronted a BBC documentary, Growing Up Gay, about young LGBTQ+ people struggling with their mental health. His openness around the subject made him a kind of ambassador for those struggles, and he’s trying to work out how to deal with the “almost daily” DMs he gets from people at their lowest moments. “I feel very privileged that someone is wanting to share that with me, but it’s frightening,” he says. “We’re all in fucking pain, and I don’t know if we’re communicating with each other that well.”

“What do we expect a male pop star to do? As a society, how do we want them to behave or present themselves?” – Olly Alexander

Years & Years’ second album, out later this year, mixes gliding pop melodies with churning bass and twisted disco. The new songs feel more varied and exploratory than Communion, thanks in part to new collaborators like current pop’s minimalist masterminds Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter, as well as Greg Kurstin, who co-wrote “Shine”, Years & Years’ best song to date. The album’s centred around a motif of Palo Santo, a healing incense-like wood that you burn and waft around a room. (Olly dramatises this with hand motions as if he’s conducting an invisible orchestra.) Perhaps Palo Santo, with its power to expel evil spirits, could be a metaphor for the songwriting process? Maybe, Olly says. “But (when writing the album) I was angry about loads of things, particularly men. Palo Santo literally means ‘holy wood’ and I was like, ‘This is fucking perfect.’ Like, thinking that your dick is holy? I’ve known guys like that.”

Years & Years’ renewed vision also extends to creating a futuristic universe for their new music to exist in. That’s an idea that Olly’s idols – “Bowie, Prince, and Gaga” – have embraced, and “Sanctify” is the first part of an interconnected series of “weird, wonderful” videos. It marks the next step for a band aiming to join British pop’s pantheon, at a time when Olly, too, has been reflecting on his place in music. “What do we expect a male pop star to do?” he questions. “As a society, how do we want them to behave or present themselves? If I was asking myself, it would be like, ‘Well actually, I’ve always loved this kind of popstar. Maybe I should just be the pop star I want to see in the world.”

[orbemnews]

Tired of losing, woman buys her 'last' $3 lottery ticket in Beaufort, then wins $100,000 Tired of losing, woman buys her ‘last’ $3 lottery ticket in Beaufort, then wins $100,000 Lottery officials say the woman, who purchased the ticket on Boundary Street in Beaufort, plans to buy a house with the winnings. Updated: 11:46 AM EDT Apr 27, 2021 Hide Transcript Show Transcript RIGHT NOW ON WJCL 22 MORNING NEWS .. A CHANGE IN POLICY OV ER MASK- WEARING OUTDOORS. THE HIGHLY ANTICIPATED ANNOUNCEMENT FROM PRESIDENT BIDEN OVER NEW GUIDANCE FROM THE CDC. PLUS— DROP IN DEMAND. A LOCAL MASS VACCINATION SITE WILL STOP DEALING DOSES. WHEN YOU CAN EXPECT THAT TO HAPPEN. AND—- HELPING CONTINUE TO FEED KIDS OVER THE SUMMER THE NEW ASSISTANCE JUST APPROVED BY THE FEDERAL VEGORNMENT. – ***2-SHOT***} THANKS FOR STARTING YOUR DAY WITH WJCL 22! GOOD MORNING, I’M ASHLEY GARRET T. AND I’M CHRIS TATUM… WJCL’S METEROLOGT IS MELISSA HALL IS ALSO HERE… WITH YOUR CERTIFIED MOST ACCURATE FORECA. NOW, HERE’S YOUR STORM TRACKER RADAR… TUESDAY PATCHY FOG BEFORE 8AM. OTHERWISE, SUNNY, WITH A HIGH NEAR 79. LIGHT AND VARIABLE WIND BECOMING SOUTHEAST 6 TO 11 MPH IN THE MORNING. TUESDAY NIGHT PATCHY FOG AFTER 4AM. OTHERWISE, MOSTLY CLEAR, WITH A LOW AROUND 62. SOUTHEAST WIND 5 TO 7 MPH BECOMING CALM AFTER MIDNIGHT. WEDNESDAY PATCHY FOG BEFORE 8AM. OTHERWISE, MOSTLY SUNN Y, WITH A HIGH NEAR 81. LIGHT SOUTHEAST WIND BECOMING SOUTH 6 TO 11 MPH IN THE MORNING. WEDNESDAY NIGHT MOSTLY CLEAR, WITH A LOW AROUND 64. SOUTH WIND 6 TO 10 MPH. THURSDAY MOSTLY SUNNY, WITH A HIGH NEAR 85. THURSDAY NIGHT PARTLY CLOUDY, WITH A LOW AROUND 68. FRIDAY A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS, THEN A CHANCE OF SHOWERS AND THUNDERSTORMS AFTER 2P M. PARTLY SUNNY, WITH A HH IG NEAR 85. CHANCE OF PRECIPITATION IS 40%. FRIDAY NIGHT A CHANCE OF SHOWERS AND THUNDERSTORMS. MOSTLY CLOUDY, WITH A LOW AROUND 61. CHANCE OF PRECIPITATION IS 30%. SATURD AY A SLIGHT CHANCE OF SHOWERS, WITH THUNDERSTORMS ALSO POSSIBLE AFTER 2PM. MOSTLY SUNNY, WITH HIA GH NEAR 75. CHANCE OF PRECIPITATION IS 20 %. SATURDAY NIGHT A 20 PERCENT CHANCE OF SHOWERS AND THUNDERSTORMS. PARTLY CLOUDY, WITH A LOW AROUND 58. SUNDAY MOSTLY SUNNY, WITH A HIGH NEAR 78. SUNDAY NHTIG PARTLY CLOUDY, WH ITA LOW AROUND 62. MONDAY A 20 PERCENT CHANCE OF SHOWERS. MOSTLY SUNNY, WITH A HIGH NEAR1. 8 A DEADLY CRASH ON TYBEE– ON HIGH-WAY 80 AT LAZ-A-RETTO– CREEK– BRIDGE. AUTHORITIES SAY-T I CAUSED THAT STRETCH TO BE SHUT DOWN FOR SEVERAL HOUR S. TYBEE POLICE SAY- THE CRASH HAPPENED AROUND– 11-30 LAST NIG. HT THE NAME OF THE VICTIM– AND– THE CAUSE OF THE CRASH–IS NOT YET KNOWN. RIGHT NOW– WEE ‘R TRACKING SIGNS OF VACCINE SLOW DOWN– IN GEORGIA AND SOUTH CAROLINA. WJCL’S DANIEL ROBINSO- N REPORTS– THE BIGGEST CONCNSER– FROM LOWCOUNTRY DOCTO. ASHLEY – AS FACEMASK MANDATES IN SOME LOWCOUNTRY AREAS BEGINO T BE LIFTED – DOCTORS AT BEAUFORT MEMORIAL WORRY – WITH LESS GETTING VACCINATED – TT HA COULD LEAD TO A SPIKE IN CASES IN THE FUTURE… RIGHT NOW – THE HOSPITAL SAYS FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS…. THEY ARE SEEING AROUND00 3 PEOPLE A WEEK – FOR A COVID-19 VACCINE. WHICH THROUGH BEAUFORT MEMORIAL IS THE PFIZER VACCINE. THAT NUMBER IS COMPARED TO THE MORE THAN 500 PEOPLE A WEEK – THAT THEY HAD BEEN SEEING – EARLIER TS HIYEAR. “I THINK THAT SOME OF THIS IS HESITANCY, I THINK THAT THE FOLKS THAT WERE GOING TO G ET VACCINATED DID AND A FEW THAT WAS ON THE FENCE BUT NOW THE PERCENTAGE THAT WE ARE SEEING IS THE FOLKS THAT DECIDED FOR WHATEVER REASON THEY ARE GOING TO WAIT AND SEE OR JUST NOT GET VACCINATED…AT ALL… WHICH IS UNFORTUNATE BECAUSE WE ARE SITTING AROUND IN THE HIGH0 2 PERCENT IN THE STATE AND 30 PERCENT NATIONAL. LY DR. GAMBLA SAYS IF THE GOAL IS HERD IMMUNITY AGAINST COVID-19 – WE WOULD NEED TO BE AT 80 PERCENT…. FOR PEOPLE WHO HAVE EITHER RECEIVED THE VACCINE OR FULLY RECOVERED FROM THE VIRUS. SO FAR IN BEAUFORT COUNTY — THE CDC SAYS MORE THAN 74 – THOUSAND PEOPLE HA VE GOTTEN AT LEAST ONCE DOSE OF THE VACCINE – COMPARED TO THE TOTAL NUMBER OF PEOPLE ABOVE 15+ IN THE COUNTY…. WHICH ISOR ME THAN 154 – THOUSAND. WHILE DOCTORS SAY – THE CURRENT RATE OF COVID-19 CASES – IN THE COUNTY– HAS SEEN A DECREASE – THEY WOR RY ASHLEY – THAT IT MIGHT NOT STAY LIKE THAT FOR LONG,S A WE HEAD INTO A BUSY TOURIST SEASON – IF SAFETY PRECAUTIONS AREN’T FOLLOWED. ASHLEY… ASHLEY: DANIEL — NEW DATA SHOWS SOME PEOPLE– ACROSS THE U-S– ARE NOT BE GOING BACK– FOR THEIR SECOND DOSE… WHAT– HAS BEAUFORT MEMORIAL BEEN SEEING? DAELNI: ASHLEY – THAT HAS BEEN A PROBLEM WITH ABOUT 8 PERCENT OF PEOPLE ACROSS THE COUNY TRNOT GOING BACK FOR A SECOND DOSE – IF IT IS REQUIRED – BUT – BEAUFORT MEMORIAL SAYS THEIR COMPLETION RA TE – IS OVER 90 PERCENT – A ND THAT HASN’T BEEN A BIG CONCERN FOR THEM. AS OF YESTERDAY—- ONLY 23 PERCENT OF GEORGIANS ARE FULLY VACCINATED AGAINST COVID-19. ONLY 34 PERCENT HAVE D HA AT LEAST ONE DOSE. TSEHE NUMBERS COME– A – *MONTH*– AFTER VACCINATIONS WE EROPENED TO– EVERYONE 16 AND OLDER. 70 TO 80 PERCENT OF THE– POPULATION– NEEDS TO BE– VACCINATED– TO– A-CHIEVE– HERD IMMUNI. TY AS GEORGIA CONTINUES TO SEE LOW DEMAND FOR VACCINATIONS- — THE FIRST MASS VACCINATN IOSITE IN COASTAL GEORGIA— T HE GULF-STREAM SITE– – IS CLOSING. EVEN THOUGH THE STATE’S VACCINATION NUMBS ER REMAIN LOW— ONE OF THE LOWEST IN THE NATION, IN FACT– — THE GEORGIA EMERGEN CY MANAGEMENT AGENCY SAYS IT DOES NOT PLAN TO RENEW ITS CONTCTRA WITH GULFSTREAM. IN ADDITION— ALL STATE MASS VAINCCATION SITES WILL STOP OFFERING THE FIRST DOSE OF PFIZER VACCINES ON APRIL . 30 GEMA SAYS E TH AVAILABILITY OF VACCINES AT MOST PHARMACIES— COMBINED WITH A DECREASE IN DEMAND— IS LEADING THE AGENCY TO FOCUS ON FULLY VACCINATING PEOPLE. ANOTHER BIG TALKER– IN JUST HOURS WE’RE EXCTINPEG- NEW GUIDANCE ON– – WHEN– U YOSHOULD– BE WEARING A MAS K. ABC’S IKE– E- JOCHI –BREAKS DOWN–WHAT CHANGES– WE COULD SEE–AND THE RACE–TO VACCINAT E. THIS MORNING A NEW MILESTONE IN THE FIGHT AGAINST THE CORONAVIRUS. NEARLY 96 MILLION AMERICANS ARE NOW FULLY VACCINATED. THE CDC IS EXPECTED TO ANNOUNCE NEW GUIDELINES FOR OUTDOOR MASK WEARING FOR THOSE FULLY VACCINAT. ED SOT DR RIBEIRA: “WE’VE LEARNED A LOT ABOUT THE VIRUS IN THE LAST YEAR AND RECENT RESEARCH REAL LY SHOWS A VERY SMALL PERCENTAGE OF INFECTIONS – LESS THAN 10% – HAPPEN OUTDOORS.” MO S: “I THINK EVERYBODY’S READY FOR THIS. WE’RE GETTING BACK TO NORMALCY.” A GROWING NUMBER OF STATES ACROSS THE COUNTRY ARE LIFTING THEIR OUTDOOR MASK MANDATES. THISS A VACCINATION SITES BEGIN TO ONCE AGAIN OFFER JOHNSON AND JOHNSON’S ONE SHOT VACCINE. THE CDC CLAIMS T HE VACCINE’S BENEFITS OUTWEIGH THE RIS. KS GFX: OUT OF THE 8 MILLION J&J DOSES GIVEN, 15 WOMEN SUFFERED RARE BLOOD CLOTS AND THIS MORNING- DOCTORS IN CALIFORNIA REPOING RT THE CASE OF A MAN IN HIS 3S 0’ NOW RECOVERING FROM A CLOT IN HIS LEG GFX THE MAN RECEIVED A J &J SHOT-THE CDC HAS NOT CONFIRMED ANY CONNECTION A NEW ABC NEWS POLL TAKEN REVEALS THE VACCINE PAUSE MAY CAUSEDOW LER TRUST IN THE VACCINE. LESS THAN HALF OF AMERICANS SEE THE J&J VACCINE AS SAFE. AND 73 PERCENT OF THOSE NOT YET VACCINATED SAY THEY WOULDN’T TAKE THE SH OT SOT MORRIS: “AND THEM ALSO PU TTING THE JOHNSON AND JOHNSON ON PAUSE, IT REALLY MADE ME THINK MORE TN HA TWICE ABOUT GOING BACK A ND GETTING THE SECOND ONE. ” DAILY VACCINATIONS DROPPING TO AN AVERAGE OF 2.75 MILLION DOSES. 24 PERCENT OF AMERICANS ARE NOT INCLINED TO GET A COVID-19 VACCINE. YET EFFORTS CONTINUE AROUND THE COUNTRY TFIO GHT VACCINE HESITENCY. IN WEST VIRGIN- IAGOVERNOR JIM JUSTICE OFFERING A 100 DOLLAR SAVINGS BOND FOR ANY 16 TO 35 YEAR OLD WILLING TO GET A SHOT. SOT GOV. JUSTICE: “I ‘M TELLING YOU, IT’S TIME, WEST VIRGINIA, TO SHUT THIS THING DOWN.” TAG: THBIDEE N ADMINISTRATI ON ANNOUNCING A PLAN TO SEND PPE AND MILLIONS OF DOSES OF ASTRAZENECA VACCINE DOSES TO IIAND, WHERE THEY’VE SEEN NEARLY ONE MILLION W NE COVID CASES IN JUST 3 DAYS. IKE EJIOCHI, ABC NEWS WASHINGTON SPEAKING OF TRUSTING THE VACCINE–HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THE JOHNSON AND JOHNSON VACCIN E? WILL YOU GET IT– NOW THAT’S ITS BEEN– DEEMED– SAFE ENOUGH TO ADMINISTER? TAKE PART IN OUR POLL ON THE WJCL TWITTER PAGE RIGHT W NO SO FAR IT’S PRA ETTY EVEN SPLIT OF THOSE WILLING TO GET THSIE NGLE SHOT AND OTHERS WHO DON’T THINK ITS SAFE. A DEADLY CRASH ON TYBEE– ON HIGH-WAY 80 AT LAZ-A-RETTO– CREEK– BRIDGE. AUTHORITIES SAY- IT CAUSED THAT STRETCH TO BE SHUT DOWN FOR SEVERAL HOURS. TYBEE POLICE SAY- THE CRASH HAPPENED AROUND– 11-30 LAST NIGHT. THE NAME OF THE VICTIM– AND– THE CAUSE OF THE CRASH–IS NOT YET KNOWN. BRAND NEW THIS MORNING. .. A STORY OF SURVIVAL AFTER A CAR EXPLODES INTO A MASSIVE BALL OF FIRE… YEAH ASHLEY… LETS PLAY THAT HEART-STOPPING VIDEO RIGHT NOW… NATS OF PEOPLE IN VEHICLE THOSE ARE PEOPLE IN A PASSING CAR REACTING TO THAT EXPLOSION… IT HAPPENED SUNDAY…N I A DALLAS, TEXAS SUBURB… THE VIDEO SHOWS THAT CAR WAS ALREADY ON FIRE WHEN THE DRIVER PULLED OVER.. NO WORD – YET – ON WHAT CAUSE THAT FIRE – – AND EXPLOSION. .. AMAZINGLY THAT DRIVER IS OKAY. “I HEARD A BIG CRASH KABM OO AND LOOKED OVER ON THE BRIDGE HERE AT BLACK RIVER AND COME TO FIND OUT WE HAVE AN 18-WHEELER HANGING OFF THE BRIDGE WHAT A STORY THAT SOUTH CA ROLINA MAN HAS TO TELL THIS MORNING… HE WAS FISHING FROM HIS BOAT WHEN HE HEARD THAT COMMOTION ABOVE HIM… AND TURNED TO LOOK… THERE IT WAS… AN EIGHTEEN WHEER EL TEETERING OFF THE EDGE OF A BRIDGE ALONG HIGHWAY 17… IN GEORGETOWN COUNTY. .. THE CRASH SHUT DOWN THAT STRETCH OF7 1FOR HOURS… THAT TRUCK DRIVER IS OKAY THIS MORNING. .. NO WORD ON THE CONDITION OF THE OTHER DRIR VE INVOLVED IN THAT CRASH AFTER SEEING BO DY CAMERA FOOTAGE OF THE POLICE SHOOTING OF ANDREW BROWN, JUNIOR- — HIS FAMILY AND THEIR LAWYERS ARE CALLING HIS DEATH *AN EXECUTION.* THE FAMILY WAS ONLY ALLOWED TO SEE 20 SECONDS OF FOOTAGE—- WHICH ANGERED NOT ONLY THE FAMILY— BUALSOT THE PROTESTERS WHO HAVE BEEN CALLING FOR THE FU LL RELEASE OF THE BODY CAME RA FOOTAGE SINCE BROWN DIED LAST WEDNEAY. SD ONE THE BROWN FAMY’S IL ATTORNEYS SAYS THE PART OF THE VIDEO THEY WERE ABLE TO SEE SHOWED THAT BROWN WAS NOT A THREAT TO PASQUOTANK DEPUES ATIS THEY TRIED TO SERVE HIM AN ARREST WARRANT. CHANTEL LASSITER, BROWN FAMILY ATTORNEY: “HEAS W NOT REACHING FOR ANYTHING, HE WASN’T TOUCHING ANYTHING, HE WASN’T THROWING ANYTHING AROU, ND HE HAD HIS HANDS FIRMLY ON THE STEERING WHEEL. THEY RUN UP TO HIS VEHICLE AND SHOOT HIM.” (GAS) PS THE PASQUOTANK SHERIFF SAYS THE SHAKINESS OF BODY CAMERAS CAN MAKE IT HARD TO DETERMINE EXACTLY WHAT’S HAPPENING— AND THE INVESTIGATION INTO BROWN’S DEATH IS ONGOI. NG IN THE MEANTIME— THE COUNTY ATTORNEY HAS FILED A MOTION TO HAVE THE BODY CAMERA FOOTAGE RELEASED TO THE PUBLIC. AS FORMER MINNEAPOLIS OFFICER DEREK CHAUVIN AWAITS HIS SENTENCING TRIAINL JUNE— — HE MAY TRY TO APPEAL HIS CONVICTIONS IN THE MURDER OF GEORGE FLOYD. HOWEVER— THE MINNESOTA ATTORNEY GENERAL SAYS THAT’S SOMETHING HE’S NOT WORRIED ABOUT. KEITH ELLIN SO MINNESOTA ATTORNEY GENERAL ELLISON – “WELL LOOK, Y AN CASE IS GOING TO BE APPEALED. YOASU K THE CRITICAL QUESTION AM I WORRIED ABOUT IT? I’M SUFFICIENTLY CONCERN ED BECAUSE I NEED TO BE, YOU KNOW, WE’RE NOT GOING TO GET CARELESS… BUT I FEEL THAT THE TRIAWAL S SOLID AND IT WAS FAIR AND THAT DEREK CHAUVIN HAD AN OPPORTUNITY FOR A FULL AND FAIR TRIAL.” ATTORNEYS FOR FORMER DALLAS POLICE OFCEFIR AMBER GUYGER WILL APPEAL HER MURDER CONVICTION TODA Y. GUYGER SHOT AND KILD LE HER NEIGHBOR– BOTHAM JEAN— IN 20-18. SHE SAID SHE ENTERED HIS APARTMENT BY MISTAKE — AND THOUGHT HE WAS AN INTRUD. ER SHE WAS CONVICTED AND SENTENCED TO TEN YEARS IN PRIS. ON HER ATTORNE AYSRGUE SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH CRIMINALLY NEGLIGENT HOMICIDE— INSTEAD. THAT USUALLY CARRIES A MAXIMUM SENTENCE OF TWO YEAR S. THE JUSTICE DEPAMERTNT IS LOOKING INTO THE LOUISVILLE, KENTUCKY POLICE DEPARTMENT … AFTER THE BOTCHED RAID TT HA KILLED BREONNA TAYLOR. THE 26-YEAR- OLD WAS SHOT DURING A NO- KNOCK RAID WHILE SHE AND HER BOYFRIEND WERE SLEEPING LAST YEA R. HER BOYFRIEND FIREDT A POLICE, SAYING HE THOUGHT THEY WERE INTRUDERS. POLICE FIRED BACK, KILLING TAYLOR. THE JUSTICE DEPARTM Tired of losing, woman buys her ‘last’ $3 lottery ticket in Beaufort, then wins $100,000 Lottery officials say the woman, who purchased the ticket on Boundary Street in Beaufort, plans to buy a house with the winnings. Updated: 11:46 AM EDT Apr 27, 2021 Above video: Your latest headlinesLottery officials say two friends played the lottery in Beaufort. And while one lost, the other won $100,000.But there are no hard feelings between the two.”My friend was happy for me,” the winner, who chose not to be identified, told South Carolina Education Lottery officials. “I was excited and conflicted, because she deserved to win too.”Her friend talked her into buying a ticket at the Amoco Food Shop on Boundary Street in Beaufort. She says they like to scratch tickets together, but she was tired of not winning and said the $3 Lady Jumbo Bucks Crossword ticket would be her last.Since the win, she’s had a change of heart.”Every once in a while I might buy a ticket with her,” she laughed.In the meantime, she’s buying a new house.For selling the claimed ticket, Amoco Food Shop in Beaufort received a commission of $1,000. Above video: Your latest headlines Lottery officials say two friends played the lottery in Beaufort. And while one lost, the other won $100,000. But there are no hard feelings between the two. “My friend was happy for me,” the winner, who chose not to be identified, told South Carolina Education Lottery officials. “I was excited and conflicted, because she deserved to win too.” Her friend talked her into buying a ticket at the Amoco Food Shop on Boundary Street in Beaufort. She says they like to scratch tickets together, but she was tired of not winning and said the $3 Lady Jumbo Bucks Crossword ticket would be her last. Since the win, she’s had a change of heart. “Every once in a while I might buy a ticket with her,” she laughed. In the meantime, she’s buying a new house. For selling the claimed ticket, Amoco Food Shop in Beaufort received a commission of $1,000. Source link Orbem News #AmocoFoodShop #Beaufort #BoundaryStreet #buys #Losing #Lottery #lotterywin #SouthCarolina #SouthCarolinalottery #ticket #tired #wins #Woman

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Your Daily Word Of Inclusiveness | Beatrix Eder Coaching

                      How to speak an inclusive language

Recently I conducted a brief poll on LinkedIn (https://lnkd.in/gTDaKPs) asking the professional community what they experience as their biggest challenge to implementing Inclusive Leadership.

First of all, I want to thank all the people who have taken a moment to participate and many of them continued the conversation in public comments and private messages.

Challenges to practicing Inclusive Leadership

The intention of the poll was to see the overall perception and get a sense of what makes it difficult for people to practice inclusiveness. Most people today are exposed to working with others across differences of gender, race, generation, language, culture, beliefs and personal orientations. Many of the multinational organizations are convinced that diversity is not just political correctness but a business imperative and many have defined concrete goals around diversity such as having more women in leadership positions, reviewing practices around hiring people from a more diverse pool of talent or decrease pay disparities.

The poll gave four options as main obstacles to implementing Inclusive Leadership:

No alignment with business strategy

Not embedded in daily actions

Lacking accountability

Recognizing subtle bias

Embedding inclusive practices in daily actions

The biggest difficulty appears to be around embedding inclusive practices in daily actions followed by recognizing subtle bias.

The reason for this is that among the well-meaning company policies and intentions of creating an inclusive workplace, there is little cohesion on how this should look in daily actions between employees. Taking a closer look, it becomes clear that most people have only a vague idea what inclusiveness means, how we can recognize it and how we experience it.

Having a clear definition around concepts shows what is truly important about the concept and allows for a common understanding by many people. Only when an organization is able to make a statement about the fundamental nature of “inclusiveness”, are they able to measure it, incentivize it and build it into the corporate culture at all hierarchical levels.

How can we expect people to practice something consistently if there are vague or different definitions of what they should be doing?

Inclusiveness: leverage the diversity of the group

Being inclusive means effectively working, communicating and building relationships with people across differences in regards to gender, generation, race, language, religion / beliefs, sexual orientation and abilities. Being inclusive means seeing these differences as valuable qualities of each individual’s identity and giving each individual the same opportunities. Inclusive leadership involves inviting different people, engaging everyone to participate, listening to their views and valuing the differences.

Inclusive leaders direct, guide and influence people in a more curious, collaborative, creative and compassionate way in order to leverage the diversity of the group and achieve a common goal with more creativity and effectiveness.

Diversity is the metric. Inclusion is the mechanism. Engagement is the feeling.

Practicing a few habits consciously, consistently and in a way that is observable to others makes you the inclusive leader that you are and aspire to be. As a general attitude, you can

proactively seek out others different from yourself,

learn about their perspectives with genuine curiosity

value differences and consider how each of these differences help finding better solutions.

Creating such an environment helps that people feel accepted, welcome, heard and valued - and this is the felt experience of inclusion. The result of this felt experience is engagement, which means that people are emotionally connected to the workplace and the coworkers. Engagement is what drives people to give their best and keeps them loyal to the company.

As with most things, being inclusive becomes easier with ongoing practice. For this, people need

Information to continuously educate themselves on notions around their cultural blueprint, their relationship to power / rank / privilege and competencies how these differences can be bridged in a way that is enriching

Awareness of themselves as individuals and as players in their social environment

Commitment to be deliberate in their choices and courageous in their actions.

Acts of micro-inclusion

If you want to bridge the gap between inclusion as rhetoric and concrete actions, you need to open your eyes and ears to situations where differences show up. Each one of us encounters these situations several times a day, so there are plenty of opportunities to practice. When you go about your day with an attitude of curiosity and compassion, observing situations not only from your own perspective but that of people different from you, you will recognize many occasions that wait for you to show up as the inclusive leader you already are and want to be perceived as.

We call these tiny acts of inclusiveness micro-inclusion. Micro-inclusions are the opposite of isolation: they are deliberate acts of connecting with our common humanity, remembering that each one of us has feelings of inadequacy and disappointment. It is the understanding that despite our individual and unique qualities, something connects us and that we all belong to a system that is beyond our individual projects and goals.

6 tips for practicing inclusive language

So what are concrete examples of practicing inclusiveness at work? How can you widen the circle and invite more people inside?

Let’s start with inclusive language. We speak all day and there are several scientific studies that show the impact of the language we use on our thoughts. Words are not just labels but they reveal our perspective. Words have power and they influence our actions – and over time our culture.

Here are 5 tips on how to consciously choose your words to help others feel accepted, welcome, heard and valued.

1) Gender-neutral language

It probably happened at least once or twice that you have addressed your team with “guys”, even though it was a mixed group with women, men and maybe even non-binary people. Using gendered language can exclude those people who do not identify as the gendered expression you have used. A better alternative is to say “Hey, team / everyone / friends / folks”.

2) Alternative pronouns

We tend to use “he /his” as generic pronouns which implicitly tells us that the person referred to is a male. In English, you can use “they / their” as singular generic pronoun to show that all people are included, independently of their gender or identity. Example: Instead of “Each employee is welcome to share his or her thoughts” you can say “Each employee is welcome to share their thoughts”.

3) Simple vocabulary and clear pronunciation when speaking with non-native speakers

When you are a native English speaker and you speak with people whose mother tongue is not English, remember to use common words and avoid idioms or your local slang. I still remember how difficult it was for me the first time I worked with an Australian manager: not only did I have real trouble understanding his accent; he also used words that I had no idea of what they meant. One day he gave me directions to go to a client and said that at a certain street I have to take a “chuck a uey”…. A what? As I learned, “chuck a uey” in Australian means a U-turn!

4) Be conscious about how you qualify people based on their gender

Often, people will attribute different adjectives when they describe the same behavior of a man or a woman. Common examples are being assertive (man) versus bossy (woman), passionate (man) versus hysterical (woman) or empathetic (man) vs emotional (woman), persuasive (man) vs argumentative (woman).

When you describe another person’s behavior or attitude –especially when you perceive it as negative - check in with yourself: Would you use the same word if it was the other gender?

5) Avoid stereotypes, even positive ones

Sometimes people think they are saying a compliment and forget that what they actually voice is a stereotype, generalizing a group of people.

Common examples:

“Women have a natural mothering instinct and are more caring”

“Asians are good at math and science”

“Gay people are generally more sensitive, open-minded and creative”

All these expressions paint a caricature of the person to whom we are referring. When you speak, check-in with yourself if the words you are using have an “all” or “no one” perspective.

6) Avoid words with a negative or passive meaning

Sometimes we use unconsciously words that describe another person as weak. Sometimes we use these expressions to show our compassion. And yet, it is more inclusive and respectful to use neutral or positive words.

Examples:

Instead of “X is suffering from [illness]” say “X has [illness]”

Saying that “X is fighting [illness]” implies that the illness is something that has to conquered and annihilated and people having a specific illness might hear an underlying opinion that they have the illness because they did not fight hard enough / were not strong enough.

Instead of “X was victim of an accident” say “X had an accident”

Use language to include and empower others

The language we speak will give cues about our perspectives and opinions and will influence our relationships with others. Furthermore, using an inclusive language shows our willingness to connect with others on a human level, understand their individual situation and feel for them.

Speaking an inclusive language is an ongoing journey with situations in which we will all make mistakes. As an inclusive leader, own your mistakes and commit to understanding how the background of another person shapes their experience and that we can have a very different interpretation of the same situation.

Will you consciously choose your words to include and empower others?

Will you use at least three times inclusive language at your workplace today?