#also summer almost over but I’m trying not to say I waste time because I saw friends but man

[no1ryomafan]

I almost went on a very in depth rant about my brain and only restrained because it sounded too personal and concerning over a mundane subject so to keep it vague: autism be damned I hate having hyper fixations get in the way of me trying other things even if my fixations make me happy.

[pixies-love-envy]

Chapter 3: Cricket

My shift ends in two hours, and a freak storm brews outside, a stark difference from the perfect summer weather this morning. They refuse to send the staff home and close early. Apparently, the weather plays into the lowly, down-on-their-luck band of travelers' fantasy. I finish mixing a “Dungeon Master’s Delight” for a very talkative, very proud, level 26 halfling paladin called Cormo Rumblesurge.

“Thanks much, barkeep!” he bellows as he takes his drink.

“The pleasures all mine, fearless adventurer!” I say, copying his Monty Python-esque accent. I don’t have to respond like this, but I want to do the job well if I'm getting paid. A few minutes later, a lull at the bar signaled to Harlow and me that it was time to sneak over to the bathroom and waste time. If you excel at your job, you have more wiggle room to do what you want.

The bathroom is single-stall. We lock it to ensure our privacy. Harlow passes me the joint she rolled this morning, and I open the bathroom window, careful not to touch the strange yellowish-brown substance on its sill. I reach into my bra to retrieve my special lighter. Her name is Zelda. She’s a gold zippo with the lovers tarot card engraved on the front. My lighter is due for a flint and wick replacement soon. I might even have to take some time to maintain its finish. I flip it open, light the perfectly rolled joint, and take two puffs, but I do not pass it to Harlow. She doesn’t do drugs or even drink, for that matter. It’s not for lack of trying. She just doesn’t react well to them. It’s almost like she’s allergic. Harlow is, however, the resident joint roller because I suck at it, and she’s a good friend.

“You remember that episode of The Twilight Zone with the author?” she asks. I know I’m the high one, but she always manages to come up with the goofy high-people questions.

“Gonna have to be more specific, Babe.” I have literally never seen an episode of The Twilight Zone, and I’m kind of embarrassed to admit that to her.

“He's cheating on his wife and gets exposed when she comes home early, but it turns out his mistress is a fictional character he created. Come to find out, his wife is actually also a fictional character who was initially perfect but deviated from his description, which is why she came home early in the first place.”

“I feel like I-” I wheeze, breaking into a series of hacking coughs that made my body jerk. “would just make my character wife polyamorous.”

“Yeah, but if she's gained sentience, you can't make her do anything, and you certainly can't make her want to be with you anymore.”

“Damn, I guess I write her a new wife, and I write myself a husband because men have no standards.” the joke makes me laugh, and I send myself into another coughing fit.

“I think I just wouldn’t use the magic.”

“Wow, you’re so lame.” I cup my hand over the joint to hide the glow of the cherry and protect it from the breeze let in by the window. I take a drag. If this wind picks up, I fear, oh how I fear, that I will have to stay here at the inn. I would rather sit on a hot grill. “Also, what you meant to say was sapience, not sentience. All animals are sentient, but humans are sapient.”

She punches the shit out of my shoulder. “You’re so freaking irritating.” I launch the roach out of the window, and we depart.

In the time it took us to leave and come back, the guests from the Inn all came down to the tavern. They’re not dressed in their best costumes anymore, but they dressed up enough for me to respect their commitment to the bit. A loud bang, like metal on glass, comes from my left. The whole room turns to look. A street sign has blown into the tavern’s window and bounced off. Looks like we’re staying here tonight. I go to take a set of room keys from behind the bar, but the rack is empty.

“No, no, no” this can’t be. There were three fucking keys here when we left. Under the counter. They must be under the counter, under the cups, in the cash register, or something. They have to be here somewhere. Harlow puts her hand on my shoulder.

“The inn is full, honey,” and there are no rooms left. The staff is trapped. “I guess we’ll have to sleep in the tavern.”

“Harly, I can’t sleep in the tavern.”

“Yes, you can.” she models taking deep breaths in and out with her hands and chest. “It’ll be okay. I’ll snatch up the nicest, cleanest booth we’ve got. You know, the one in the corner, and all night we’re gonna laugh at that bitch Michelle because her big sasquatch ass is gonna have to sleep on the floor.” Damn, she’s funny. I hate to say it because it makes me seem like an asshole, but the jab at Michelle is pulling me out of my panic attack. I chuckle, and Harlow lets out a sigh of relief.

“She really is fucking huge.” I’m laughing so hard Harlow can barely understand me “She’s like Hagrid in a mini skirt.” She joins in my laughter, and I remember why she’s my best friend.

Harlow puts me in a friendly headlock. “It’s all gonna be alright, Jiminy. It's not gonna be like when you were a kid.”

“Yeah, I know it’s gonna be fine,” I say with a smile. “Because I’m going to pick up one of these nerds and sleep in a nice, warm bed tonight.”

“Are you serious? You’re resorting to prostitution now?”

“I am!” I reply very loudly and matter-of-factly. Then I stalk off in search of my new man.

The guys who come here aren’t usually very ugly, but they're still not preferable. Occasionally, we get a semi-attractive man who roleplays as a prince fighter hero, half-elf, or something or other. Unfortunately for me, it seems we’ve got a bad batch in here tonight. There’s a man in with really nice arms, but he’s got a wedding ring. After a good look around, I saw three viable options. The first is a burly man with heavy green face paint, the second is a tall, lanky blonde orc, and the third is a ginger, who looks like a sixteen-year-old, who I know for a fact is 23 because I carded him. I’m about to go for the blonde orc at the end of the bar when, out of the corner of my eye, I see him—a pretty boy dressed in standard 21st-century garb. He’s got brown floppy hair and bright blue eyes with a yellow center almost like a sunflower. They go perfectly with his warm and inviting peachy complexion. Looking at him genuinely is an experience. Obviously, he’s the one.

Okay, Cricket, it’s game time. I reach behind the bar and take a swig from the bottle of my favorite cinnamon whiskey. I went into this thinking I wouldn’t have to try very hard, but if I’m going to turn tricks, I figure I should turn them for a man of substance. It’s a good thing I have this corset on. I look freaking amazing. I walk right up and sit across from him in his booth.

“Alright, what’s your story, pretty boy? What on earth is someone like you doing in The Chipped Tea Cup?”

“Yeah, no. Welcome to my booth, I guess, Miss—” He pauses to read my name tag. “Tiploft.” He puts on a genuine smile. “Just trying to escape the rain. I’m at the tail end of a road trip, actually.” That was kind of obvious, and I’m not sure why I asked. The road trip is news, though.

I rest my elbows on the table and lean in to show off my cleavage. “Oh, so you’re a true adventurer. Where are you going?”

“I got a new apartment uptown, just a few miles from here. I’ve traveled through six states to get here.”

“Uptown? Are you, by chance, a student.”

“Yep, going to Redwood University. Working at the Research Lab of The Adjustment Of Phenology,” I give him a quizzical look. “The study of seasons. I’m gonna help solve climate change,” he says proudly.

“Huh, I would’ve guessed business major. Men who look like you want to work on wall street and like fuck people over.”

“Glad to break the stereotype, Thelda.”

“Oh, shit, no, that’s not my name. This is my work cosplay.” I hope to god I don’t look like a Thelda. “What’s your name?”

“It’s March.” he extends his arm for a handshake, “March Starling.”

“Cricket St. James.” I shake his hand. “Let me buy you a drink.”

“Thanks so much for offering, but I don’t drink.”

“Oh, that’s nothing to be embarrassed about. My best friend’s allergic to alcohol, too.” I have never come across another person with an allergy like Harlow’s. If I’m being honest, I’ve never even considered that there are other people like her. I guess I just thought she, of all people, would have such an obscure trait.

“No, I don’t drink of my own volition.” he pauses and furrows his eyebrows. “I’m also pretty sure no one is allergic to alcohol.”

“You’re telling me that you’re a sexy environmentalist who doesn’t drink.”

He smiles to himself, “Better than your average drunken pollutant.”

“Ha ha, very funny.” I tease. “What do you do for fun then?”

“Well, sometimes back home, when I would get bored, I would sneak into the abandoned buildings on the other side of town.” I nod my head, encouraging him to go on. “And I would hand out snacks to the homeless, and we’d have great conversations.”

“Oh, wow, you really are just a nice guy.”

His cheeks start to redden. “What are you then, Cricket?” he asks.

“I’ll tell you later,” I say, changing the subject. “So, will you be staying the night, March, or are you thinking of braving the storm to get to your new place?” If I had a drink, I would twirl its straw and flip my dreads, but I went into this half-cocked.

“I’m staying. Got the last available room, apparently.” This motherfucker took my room.

“Really? That’s so lucky. Most of the staff here are staying in the tavern tonight.” I give him a tiny closed-mouth smile, making it seem like I’m failing an attempt at stoicism.

“That’s awful. I know I can’t help everybody, but you can stay in my room tonight if you would be comfortable with me.” He’s so kind, I don’t even think I’ll have to sleep with him. I guess he just likes helping the homeless, however temporary their homelessness.

“I would love to share a room with you, March.”

Too Sweet Masterlist

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 4

Looking for FEEDBACK on my first few chapters. They are really short and are easy reads. Any feedback is welcome. Tell me about anything you think can be improved upon or anything that you liked. Comment on the prose or the dialogue. Literally anything that comes to mind that can help.

@mundanemoongirl @arrowmoose @yourpenpaldee @frostedlemonwriter

[your-queer-dad]

what’s up dad no idea if I’ve already sent something bringing this up but medical shit has been kicking my ass for a good four years now it’s mainly deficiencies that have gotten dangerously low to the point of almost killing me I keep catching them before I end up dying but it gets really annoying I finally weened off the steroids keeping me alive from the last one and I was really excited cause now I feel way better but I got my blood tested and found out now I have dangerously low levels of vitamin d and I had to take meds for that now and basically “I’m”you’re lucky to be standing your levels were so low it’s a miracle you’ve managed to get up every morning” AGAIN this is like the fifth time :/ anyway my health problems come from my parents it’s a long story but the deficiencies are cause my parents keep forcing me into dangerous situations and threatening me which stresses the hell out of me so I got a cortisol deficiency then iron then vitamin c now vitamin d and I think there was another don’t remember anyway the cortisol caused chronic fatigue pain etc which made it hard to go outside and take care of myself especially considering my parents haven’t gotten any safer or nicer and they sure as fuck don’t buy enough food so then I got the vitamin c and now vitamin d I have lots of other medical shit that’s almost killed me but that’s the most annoying recently

the thing that pisses me off is I had all of it taken care off!! I came off vitamin c iron and cortisol supplements after YEARS of trying to sort my shit out and take care of myself get a support system and eat while my parents actively sabotaged everything cutting me off from friends never buying enough food or food I can eat threatening me screaming blaming me for my disorders and chronic shit AND the deficiencies etc also they lied about all of it and blame me for EVERYTHJNG even the shot they do!! but I finally fixed it expect over the summer I didn’t go outside like ever because I was busy with school and my parents got worse and now the vitamin d deficiency because of it!! I’m just so tired and frustrated I worked so hard for four years and I feel like I’ve been wasting my teen years and what’s left of my garbage childhood trying to fix what my parents caused and made worse and were supposed to help with I never managed to keep any real friends and now I’m just trying to save up so I can move out and live without having to look over my shoulder all the damn time

anyway sorry for the longass thing I don’t have the energy to format this clusterfuck or check spelling or comprehension love you man I’m always sending shit here and venting I never sign off on my shit so you prolly can’t tell what’s mine but it’s a hell of a lot rip what I’m tryna say is thank you for answering and listening it feels validating

Hey kiddo! Please don't apologise, I'm always here to listen. And I am really really proud of you. You're doing really well considering the situation and I'm so sorry your parents acted like that. 🫂🫂🫂

- dad x

[aajjks]

NWO!JK

“really? oh man, its been so long since i’ve seen her!” you say in a lighthearted tone as you reminisce about your first interaction with the older woman. she was always sweet and played a very important role in jungkook’s life growing up; often spending time with her during the long summers. “i’ll try to come by often so i can speak with her”

you take a seat on the couch with jungkook who continues to flick through the channels purposely looking for the daily news about himself spider-man. once he finds the channel, he turns up the volume and listens to the news anchor praise spider-man for saving seoul once again after turning in the bad guy ‘whirlwind’ who singlehandedly destroyed over 5 buildings.

“however, thanks to our superhero, spider-man, there were no casualties” finishes the anchor and jungkook soaks it all in, basking in his victory while you sit, unimpressed until…

“a crystal shop called mystic moon was broken into tonight. this is the fourth crystal shop that has been broken into this week. we ask all those to please refrain from being by yourself at night, shut and lock your stores, and report any sightings of the mysterious crystal thief”

“crystal thief?” you scoff. “what kind of weirdo steals crystals? that’s strange. pretty sure the bug guy will have it all taken care of though” you shrug the dire news off before directing your attention to the yellow crystal dangling from jungkook’s neck.

“is that the necklace mj gave you? it’s cute. speaking of mj, ummmm..i saw you guys hugging!!” you cheer. “she’s clearly into you and so are you. ask the girl on a date already”

~🫧

Ask MJ out on a date? That is the least of his priorities right now.

“Ahhh yn.. I’m way too busy to date right now… ugh. I might take her on a casual dinner though maybe.” He says, staring at the yellow necklace on his neck.

And he’s kinda shocked.

“Haha weird.” He remarks, “umm yn it was orange- I swear it was orange when she put it on my neck… but now it’s yellow?” He sighs, confused. “do crystal change colors?”

You both shrug after a little discussion about it and Jungkook also lets it slide, because his main priority right now is the little crystal thief and tonight he will be keeping an eye out for the thief.

“Ahhh let’s hope that your favorite bug guy will catch the little thief.” He winks at you. “Should we watched the hangover you know I love the movie so much. Should we watch one two or three?”

��••

Once he finally leaves and says his goodbye, to you, he’s making his way home that is when he remembers that he has to find the crystal thief.

It’s like almost 12 AM right now. it was really funny watching the hangover with you and you just take a lot of his time. He doesn’t realize it,

But Maybe this is the perfect time for him to get in action.

He’s gonna be so late to school tomorrow and then the pizza place but it’s worth it because he really wants to keep this city safe. And he loves being praised.

“Ahh..” he exclaims before making his way into an abandoned alleyway and it’s really dark so no one will be able to tell that he’s changing.

Nobody comes here anyways

Jungkook gets inside the alley way before opening his bag and takes out his suit- he doesn’t waste a moment before putting it on, and then he finally puts on his mask.

Swinging through the sky- through the large buildings is the best part about being Spider-Man and he loves every bit of it. Sometimes he wishes that he could tell his friends about his secret identity because it feels so heavy, but he knows that it’s too dangerous and it would put them in danger.

He’s Swings through buildings the wind is blowing, it feels amazing. “Let’s check out every single crystal shop.”

He focuses until he comes across one, it looks like a high end place.. hmm, looks like this could be the next target, so jungkook quickly gets down on the ground and then he tries to sneak in,

Honestly, he is not the best at breaking in-and that might not be a good idea if the thief doesn’t arrive here he might get in trouble but…

Just as he is looking around- he’s not even inside the shop when he hears some footsteps.

Oh shit- looks like the thief might have come.

Jungkook quickly hides behind a wall.

[twilightmalachite]

Christmas Live - Dot to Dot 1

Author: Akira

Characters: Yuuta, Shinobu

Translation Team: Mika Enstars & 310mc

EN Proofer: ryuseipuka

"Whaa, who said that… If your annoyance level is at 1, then my Aniki’s is at like 530,000, so it’s fine."

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Season: Winter

Location: Classroom 1-B

Shinobu: (Hmhmhm~♪)

(Just a few more nights~ and it’s Chri~st~mas~♪)[1]

(Ehehe, what’s Santa-san’s present for me this year…? ♪)

(Ahh, I can barely sit still from excitement! I’m just so hyped~♪)

(Because Christmas only means one thing, and that’s of course… Ninjas! ☆)

(The skillful art of fulfilling one’s mission by infiltrating a home without being caught! Santa-san is truly a descendant of ninja, who has survived until the present day!)

(Even his fashion sense also somewhat resembles that of a ninja, in my opinion…!)

(That’s why during Christmas time, I get so happy~ It feels as though my comrades have grown~♪)

(In fact…! One day, I will become someone splendid and famous… And then, I’ll absolutely make ninjas as mainstream as Santa-san!)

(And once that happens, I’ll make Hattori Hanzō’s death anniversary into a national holiday~♪)[2]

(That’s another reason why I will do my best with my idol activities! Although, I believe there isn’t any work for RYUSEITAI today?)

(Actually, for a few days now, we have had days off from not only work, but practice, too…)

(Well, we might suddenly be called over for something, like how we were during the summer holiday…)[3]

(Taichou-dono makes sure to provide us with sufficient days off overall. But on the other hand, that means we tend to be overworked when we do have work…?)

Shinobu: (Mm~ It feels lonely~… Without any RYUSEITAI activities, I end the school day talking to practically nobody.)

(I’m aware that ninjas live by concealing themselves without uttering a word, though…)

(……I’m really starting to feel sad now. It is getting chilly out lately~ They say that “cold” and “lonely” go hand-in-hand during these times.)

(Maybe I'll call Isara-dono on my phone�� Wait, no, he is probably busy with Student Council work right now.)

(Perhaps I’ll try visiting him under the pretext of helping him out with work… But would that just bother him instead? Urmm~?)

…Fwah!?

S-Something just fell down! This is… hmm, a talisman?

Yuuta: Oh, sorry. Do you mind picking up that flier for me, Shinobu-kun?

Shinobu: Ah, a flier? Oh yes, I see that it’s advertising a shop’s Christmas sale. I’ll pick it up right way, Yuuta-kun~♪

…Wait—What on earth are you doing?

You’re adeptly balancing yourself at the top of a crazy amount of piled up chairs!

Fuhaah, acrobatics~! You’re a skilled performer, Yuuta-kun! ♪

Yuuta: I’m sure even you can do this much, Shinobu-kun. Since you’re crazy lightweight, and all.

I just don’t want to be wasting any of my time… I don’t want to miss out on any training I can get done while doing something else.

I’m working on my sense of balance right now. Wanna join, Shinobu-kun?

Shinobu: Ah, no, no. I’m scared to climb onto what looks like some sort of new party game~ You’ll only injure yourself if the chairs end up collapsing, you know~?

Yuuta: Heheh, as if I’d mess up doing this. …You’ve been chatting with me lately, Shinobu-kun, I’m happy~. ♪

Shinobu: Huh? U-Um!? I apologize! Have I been annoying you!?

Yuuta: Whaa, who said that… If your annoyance level is at 1, then my Aniki’s is at like 530,000, so it’s fine.

Shinobu: I’m not sure I understand that logic… That being said, why have you been looking at that flier?

Are you perhaps going to hold a Christmas party? Are you trying to find the right cake to buy?

Yuuta: Hm~. Well, Aniki goes all out and makes a super huge cake every year for no good reason.

‘Cause you know, he’s got a sweet tooth. What one likes, one will do best, and so that guy’s great at making stuff like sweets.

Well, anyway. Basically, I’m looking for work.

Since it’s almost Christmas, you know? I thought maybe there’d be some shops looking for people to liven things up.

Shinobu: Oooh! You’re so diligent, trying to find work even during Christmas. Are you a vassal of Santa-san, perhaps…? ☆

Yuuta: My Santa is Aniki~, ‘cause the person who’s apparently my father isn’t too enthusiastic about those sorts of things.

That’s not it, though—Holidays are a good time for idols to earn some money, aren’t they?

I’d like to find a way to make my seniors look better, or rather… I wanna sell 2wink better, since we’re comparatively mediocre.

Well, the leader is supposed to be the one to think about this sort of thing, though.

But since all Aniki’s thinking about are Christmas cakes right now… I gotta be the one to find some work to do.

You can help me if you want, Shinobu-kun! If you’re not busy, that is.

Shinobu: O-Okay. RYUSEITAI has the day off today, so I shall assist you~♪

Yuuta: You strong units can afford to do that, huh. …But you better watch your step, you don’t know when you’ll lose your footing!

‘Cause startin’ next year, 2wink will be takin’ over Yumenosaki Academy! ♪

Shinobu: Mhm, hard work deserves to be rewarded. Ahaha, not that I have any right to say something as impudent as that~

How about this shop’s job offer? You’ll wear Santa-san’s outfit while selling cakes! ♪

Yuuta: That’s just a regular old part-time job. I was hoping for something more idol-like…

Yuuta: Hmm… It kinda feels like all the good jobs got taken up by the other units, I guess?

I’d like to increase 2wink’s market value, though… Maybe I’ll ask Anzu-san, like, “Give me a job as a Christmas present ♪”, or something?

[ ☆ ]

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Shinobu is singing a different variation of the song mou ikutsu neru to oshougatsu (Just a few more nights, and it's New Years). Read more here, with the lyrics.

Hattori Hanzō was a famous ninja in the Sengoku era. Read more here.

Referring to Pirate Festival, which happened in summer.

[broken-clover]

Managed two days in a row, I guess that’s pretty neat! Also another odd concept, but I like the open-endedness of ‘can’t stay awake’ more than a lot of these, something about this one just worked.

In an odd way this is a bizarre sort of vindication for my younger self. It feels weird to say but I think Digimon Frontier was one of the first bit of media that got me into the whole ‘characters almost die’ trope and all the medical dealings that branched out from that, but I never really came back to Frontier to do anything about it. Granted, I do have a personal rule that in terms of whumpy stuff I only do softer stuff when there’s kids involved. Adults can get cut up, but anything particularly bloody when younger characters are involved feels like I’m trying to make some kind of weird torture porn, and I’m not about that vibe. Though in this case, I am taking something from canon.

Anyway, here’s a continuation/expansion for the end of episode 50. Content warnings for near-death experiences, though that is also taken directly from canon

-

The floor tiles are cool against his face. Like a nice, chilly breeze. The blow of air conditioning humming from the wall unit, striking in a full-force wave of relief as soon as he swings open the apartment door.

That seems right. The haze is fitting for a hot, slow summer’s day. His back is warm, fabric sweat-stuck to the ridge of his spine. If not for that, it would be perfect for a nap. He’s not fully driven off from the idea, even then. The coolness is comforting, lulling. Some part of him knows this isn’t his bed, but he’s still tempted to fall asleep right where he is, wherever that is.

Hmm. His ears are ringing. There’s some kind of ruckus, but he can’t quite make any of it out. One of his mother’s TV dramas? Did grandma leave the news on again? In that case, maybe he should get up, it wasn’t good to leave the TV on, it just wasted power and brought up the electric bill. But…the floor feels so nice, and he’s so tired, he can't imagine moving from whatever he’s laying on.

Strong hands peel it away, or maybe he’s the one that’s moving. The world spins until he’s facing the ceiling. The fluorescent bulbs shine with bleary halos, but he doesn’t have much time to admire them until something blocks the view.

“Hey, kiddo, can you hear me?”

He could hear them, but anything about where they were or where the voice was coming from was another matter altogether. The dark shapes don’t look like people. They don’t look like much of anything at all.

Someone takes hold of his arm. Another brushes his neck. He wants to flinch back, but his body doesn’t have enough energy to manage. A snippet of thought quietly hopes that whoever has his hand won’t suddenly let go, because if they do, he won’t have the strength to keep it up, and it would just hit the ground.

A sudden beam of light burned his eyes, and before he could try to close them, something nudged one of the lids open and held it there. “What’s your name?”

He can’t muster an answer. His mouth is still stuck on the same word, the same he’d been repeating over and over like a mantra.

“K…Kou…” He only managed a mangled croak.

“Kou? Nice to meet you, Kou. Where do you go to school?”

Even if he could speak properly, he can’t focus. Any moment of attention he can muster goes to the pulls and prods going on elsewhere all over. The beam of light clicks off, leaving smears in his vision that blur with the ones that were already there.

“No signs of spinal damage so far, but still be careful,” a new voice says, and he’s relatively certain they’re talking to themselves. “Here, here, let’s get him out of here-”

“Kou, can you pay attention to me? Where do you go to school?”

If he knew which of them had been talking to him, they’d already vanished into the mass. It’s hard to focus. It’s hard to think. The shadows surrounding him sway, and the already-weak grasp on his thoughts slip and smear as he’s suddenly moving again. It feels as though they’re throwing him right into the light before he slams back down onto something else solid. Instinct tells him it was a slight, careful drop, and yet his brain is rattling around inside its casing, careening back and forth like a ping-pong ball and only growing more and more incoherent.

“Unresponsive- “ The world starts to slide, and someone is putting their hands on him again. “-head injury? No external-”

The lift and drop echo in his bones, up and down like ocean waves, plunging into dreamlike incoherency and vague snippets of bizarre places he’s never been to, and rising to the surface again with sensations all over. The ceiling lights zip by like a zoetrope wheel, but there’s no picture on the other side. Maybe he’s the one being watched, then. Light, shadow, light, shadow, light, shadow. Blip, blip, blip-

Blip. A glowing red rose, miles away in the sky.

“Fell down…top…witnesses-”

“-rrhythm….pressure?”

Blip. Shooting stars, close enough to reach out and touch. He’s flying…

“...face down…”

Something too tight grabs his arm and squeezes, and he’s worried it’s going to collapse.

“Commotio cordis? ...can’t get-...more than twelve-”

Blip. A gigantic tree, glowing in pastels. Babbling coos and chirps and a comforting weight in his arms.

The colors of the world wash out, leaving everything white and gray. An instinctive unease coils in his stomach. He doesn’t like this. Where’s mom, where’s grandma? Why does everything ache?

Blip. An iridescent castle. Endless twisting corridors.

There’s a little black cat with bright red eyes sitting curled up on his chest. He blinks. It blinks back. He blinks again. It’s gone. Light, shadow, light-

“Don’t like…prealbumin test-” A gritty, grainy voice drags through his ears like sandpaper. “No rhythm-”

Blip. An endless, blurry red void. And…panels, like a chessboard, crosses and circles, spinning around and around and around and-

A horrible pain lances through his chest, and he jerks with a gasp. His lungs don’t move the way they're supposed to, nothing does, and all his body can manage is a pathetic half-lurch, like a dropped fish flopping on a dock. Everything in his vision smears and spirals, and all he can do is swallow down the acid pooled in his throat and pray for the feeling to go away. Sleep. He wants to sleep. Things don’t hurt when he’s asleep.

The voices are in a frenzy, the brief snippets of understandable sound shrill and uncertain.

“Blood- …50/35- !”

“...start it up…gonna shut down- !”

There aren’t any moving lights anymore. There’s only one, massive and radiant and still, just like the sun. Maybe it is the sun. Maybe he was sitting on the balcony with mom again, watching the sky after work. But if it was the sun, why did he feel cold…?

If there was any air in his lungs, the sudden blow to his ribs would have knocked it out. One of the shadows holds something, presses it to his skin. This one’s all wrapped in white, like an angel, but this angel doesn’t have a mask made of metal. He’s not sure why he expects them to, all he knows is that it doesn’t feel correct.

The hands come back, feeling all over. Darkness drapes over his face, and something tries forcing warm air down his throat. It doesn’t stay. Something cold replaces it, and he suddenly misses the darkness.

Grandma’s watching in the corner of his vision, why isn’t she helping? He’s scared, he doesn’t understand what’s going on, and she’s just looking on. His hand twitches in place. She doesn’t reach out to hold it. Doesn’t say a word.

Another blow hits him, in the same spot as the first. She’s gone, just like the cat.

“Shit- amiodarone- !”

The giant light beckons him. It’s the only thing he can make out. It promises warmth from the cold. As soon as he lets go, it will wrap him up in its embrace. Let go…let go of everything…the pain, the cold, the darkness, sink into the warmth of the light. Sleep. Let go.

It’s a promise he couldn’t say no to, even if he wanted to. He’s so tired that he can’t even force his eyes shut. The sensations start to muddle, fuzz, vanish into nothing. Another hit makes his body jerk, but he can’t feel it. It doesn’t matter. All that matters is the light. It promised him heat, but everything is so cold.

Cold…it’s cold…

-

A droplet of warmth strikes his cheek.

His vision sharpens as he blinks. Someone is on top of him, blocking out the rays and draping a shadow along his body.

Despite that, as he looks at their face, he knows he’s still staring up at light.

And he doesn’t feel cold anymore.

[ruminate88]

Online Toxic Relationships Suck:

Healing Journal ❤️‍🩹 10/05/24

It’s hard when you’ve mostly encountered toxic individuals in your past relationships and have been betrayed multiple times. It really impacts your life moving forward.

You mistake all that attention you originally get as “falling in love”. The way that person obsesses over you, texting you sooooo much and sending heart emojis but honestly, they have others they’re messaging in the same manner as you. They’re doing it for attention always. It’s happened to me multiple times. Not just in romantic relationships either, I’ve had online friendships through out the years that pay me so much attention but then can go off the grid for months too and then resurface again like nothing changed. Some of it is due to life situations happening to them or parental matters but also they do this because they pay attention to other friends too and it leaves you questioning their loyalty to you.

Being on the internet, there’s access to talk to someone 24/7. That person can message you all day long and that keeps you from being lonely or having to deal with the real you OR the reality of your life. You can create your own reality with these people online you barely know or see. You look at their photos and videos they post and try to imagine what they’re really like. Often people post just enough to be “mysterious” and I’ve been guilty of this too. People will also portray themselves in light that makes them be able to be someone they want to truly be but are not. TRUST ME, when I say often people are not really who they post themselves to be.

I’ve had those first time messages where you meet someone and see their profile photo. The excitement of “Oh wooooow, he’s totally cute!!!!!!!” And the flutters in your heart. You fear they’re a catfish, so you begin to Google the crap out of them!! This happened when I met my ex “Cody”. Woooow. My initial thought upon seeing his profile picture was, “This is too good to be true. NO WAY THIS HOTTIE IS TALKING TO ME!!!” 😳😳😳

As you begin to talk; it’s easy to say everything because you’re not actually facing them in person. It helped that Cody seemed really supportive at first. It allowed me to really say the things I would never say to him in real life. I shared secrets I never told my own family. That allowed me to feel comfortable, close and trusting with Cody. It built an instant but strong bond. Cody also shared his childhood but if it was true or not, I’ll never know but it was sad to hear it all. I was legit so heartbroken for him!! ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹 That deepened the bond so whenever he ultimately ghosted me, I was left feeling confused, stupid and worthless. I felt I wasted my time texting him and yet I loved him so much…. I didn’t even know him though! How did I know if he was honest with me?? Somehow, I felt so bonded to him still. I felt sad for him and close. I missed him so much. For months I thought I was dying cuz I missed him sooooo bad. 😭😭 It hurts more than I even could express. ❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Not quite 4/5 months later, I met Andrew! We matched on a dating app. I didn’t realize it yet and he found me on Snapchat. I can NOT remember adding him as a friend or our first conversation 😳😳😳 All I remember about Andrew is, he kept flirting me sooo much and saying, “I love you cutie 😘😘😘” and I barely knew his name!!!! 😆 I was looking at all these snaps/selfies he’s sending me and thinking “Idk if he’s cute or not” I was in between feelings plus trying to be over Cody! I didn’t know Andrew. He showed me a pic of his “farm” he lived on and “his cows” 😳 I’m not a nature or animal person. I felt awkward but he was being overly nice to me and flirting!

I don’t remember when or how but over the summer, he would text me almost every morning, “Good morning cutie 😘 How are you?” Wooooow but he wasn’t super open about his personal life with me! Weird! yet after so many days in a row of waking up to his morning text, he became everything to me 😢😭😳 He went from a total stranger to someone I’m suffocating without. When he’s away from me, I’m miserable and starving. Crying and anxious on my bed, wondering if he’s with another girl and I’m wanting to be sick. I became incredibly obsessed with him because of the love bombing initially and the bread crumbs afterwards. Now I’m a prisoner to his social media and stalking his Facebook day and night. I idealize what he’s like and make up scenes in my mind of what our first “meet up” would look like… I saw him standing there with a rose for me in front of his car. I pictured myself hugging him tight and finally kissing him ❤️‍🩹 of course the constant fantasy of “our first time” hooking up…. Ugh. 😣 He was driving me insane!!!

Yet over time, Andrew would ghost often. Ignoring me for 2 and sometimes 3 days in a row…. During that time I was on his Facebook confused. He posted photos of his fraternity parties he attended and tons of sorority girls were there. I found myself jealous of these girls. I tried to make plans to meet Andrew and he promised me he wanted to meet me yet said, “Now isn’t a good time. My parents are pressuring me to focus on my grades and don’t want me to have a girlfriend right now” 🤨🧐 Yeeeeet, they’re ok with you being in a fraternity????!!!! I KNEW something was not adding up. I just don’t know what it was.

It’s super confusing when a person will text you for over a year, send you heart emojis, call you “babe” and even send you nudes often but then not try to meet you or actually “be with you.” A lot of days Andrew would send me a “hey you 😘” on kik, a “good morning, hru?” On text AND a Snapchat of himself in is bathtub all naked with morning hair and a smile ☠️☠️☠️☠️ daaaaang. Torture!!!!! He obviously just liked the constant attention from me, even if he didn’t “love me” or “want to be with me.” He was the ONLY person I wanted to talk to. I would get messages on kik daily from all kinds of guys and girls. most of them would try to tell me “Andrew doesn’t love you and probably cheating” 😭😭😭 I would get defensive and in denial!! I would try to make excuses for Andrew but I was running out of hope to meet him and be with him. 😢❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

Online relationships suck!!!!!!! You can text a person all day and tell them all this personal stuff, never know the real them and they can be also talking to 500 other people too. You won’t even know it and believe you’re special. You’re not special though 😔🥺❤️‍🩹 They just like the attention and the nudes. They enjoy talking sexy to you! Andrew would send me pics of himself “getting off” to my nudes 😢☠️ but that’s not love or respect. Just because they’re paying you “attention” it doesn’t last. Plus they can take hours to respond and make you feel VERY lonely 😔 you HAVE to kill your fantasy and ideas of this person. You have to accept reality that they’re putting on a persona for you online and they’re not being 100% authentic. Accepting that helps to let them go but it’s still sad. Especially if you felt they were “sooo special” to you. The days I didn’t wake up to a text from Andrew, I would spend the whole day depressed and suffering. That’s not a healthy relationship 😝 Andrew denied breaking up with me 3 times which made it all the more confusing for me when he won’t meet up!!

[cosmo-lexies]

I wanna present the first chapter of my new WIP, for now the name is project wood and I thought I would be cool to upload it for Halloween.

Happy Halloween, I wish you enjoy it!

You have to run faster, don’t let the trees stop you. What is this smell? Only a squirrel. C'mon carry on running, there is an awesome view from the high part of the hill. Don’t waste your time, let's go. The feeling of the summer breeze over your fur is just that you need to wake up completely. Rest for a while, enjoy the calm for a while. What is that sound? "Ash, fweet, come here." Dad is calling you, but being here feels great. The warmth of the sun and the massage of the wing are enough to make your tail more responsive and your back muscles stronger. "Ash, if you don't come here immediately, I will give your breakfast to Oliver." Wait, breakfast. You have to go right now. You run down the mountain, be careful with the pines. You don't wanna repeat the time you nailed your antlers to a silver birch. What is that sound? Something cracked a withered branch. You can investigate, maybe it’s something that you can hunt. "Okay, not breakfast for you." Your breakfast, hurry up, you want your breakfast. Your clothes are hanging on that nearby bough, changes now. Your muscles flex and your fur disappears, only remains your hair. My teeth come back to his right and less sharp form. The transformation ends with my eyes getting used to light again. The color is less vivid and the breeze is less comfortable in a human form. Although it is summer, we are on a high mountain. The nearby peaks still have snow. We are in an isolated place, my favorite kind of place where there are no other witches or humans to bother us. "I said you didn't go far." My dad is sitting on the ground with Oliver between his legs. Both have read on the e-reader since morning. "I don't go far. It's hard to concentrate when I'm transformed." "I know, for this reason, and because your brother and I are reading a truly interesting book. You have breakfast in the pot. However, you have to clean it after breakfast." "This isn't right, that task is of Oliver today." I take a bowl of oatmeal with fresh wild fruits and nuts. Oliver is looking at the e-reader, laughing due to the fact he is getting out of the most boring tasks of the day. I’m truly sure he won’t be so concentrated in the book when we go hunting in the afternoon. "If you want you can read the book with Dad and I clean the dishes." I don't want to, and he knows it. Furthermore, I don't understand the situation at all. Dad is supposed to be helping him with a hard book about biology, but Oliver reads better than any of us. Likely, better than any wild witches. "Not thanks," I smirk at him and sit on my sleeping bag near the campfire.

After an hour and with everything cleaned, I want to run in my animal form for a while. The sensation this morning was awesome thanks to the calmness of the place and repeat it will be great. "Dad, can I... crack ..." My senses are alert and my father's also. He is standing, looking around with Oliver behind him. "Ash, come here." I approach and he grabs my shoulder with his only hand. "I'm gonna check the sound. Stay here with Oliver." He takes his knife from his sheath and goes ahead cautiously. Suddenly, Oliver grabs the back part of my wool jacket with so much force that he almost knocks me down. He has been pretty jumpy since a dark creature attacked him last week. To be honest, it wasn't a big deal. He could kill it by himself, but it caught him off guard. "Don't worry buddy. I'm sure it is nothing." A big wall of fire appears just in front, separating us from Dad and forcing me to eat my words. I feel like someone is pushing me to the ground. I try to hold out. Oliver is just on the ground and a woman in soldier clothes with a big gun on his back is on him, trying to grab his arm. "I have the little one." The woman says. "Oliver Swift-Northwood, you are arrested for failure to comply with federation norms about wild witches monitoring." Shit, the federation of witches. I wanna transform and take this woman out of my brother, but it is impossible. I don't have enough space. There is something around me, but what? I don’t see anything. I try to push and hit around until I grab a little piece of white wood from the neck of a soldier who becomes visible without his talisman. They are fucking cowards attacking us in this way. "Fucking beast, this is expensive." The soldier punches me in the face and I fall on the ground. Another soldier becomes visible and handcuffs me. "Ash Northwood, you are arrested for failure to comply with federation norms of wild witches monitoring." The walk of fire disappears and I look at my father transformed into his beast form surrounded by five soldiers and a man with an expensive black suit and blue coat. He is able to keep everyone in line with incredible speed, and all this without a paw.  "Oak, we have your sons. I recommend you to cooperate." The man in a suit says. Dad growls at them, and then he changes into his human form and raises his arms. A soldier tries to approach but the man in a suit stops him with his right arm. "It is not necessary. I am sure that Oak doesn’t have any problem getting dressed himself and accompanying us, do you?" Dad starts to get dressed totally quietly. "I had heard that the wild witches are as dangerous as the darker creatures. But to be honest, this was easy," the woman over Oliver says in a low voice. "Yours, this almost broke my arm," the man over me says. "Be careful, or my nephews could make you pay the price." I don't recognize the voice of the man who says these words. Nephews? None of us have an uncle. I try to look at him, but the man over me is a big impediment. "Let's go. Take them to the car, "the mysterious man says. I look at him while I’m getting up. A silver-haired thirty-something-year-old man with a large scar from his right eye to his lower chest. He disturbingly grins at me. "I see. You’re as troublemaker as your father. But I need you to calm down for transport." He creates a bubble of water on his hand which absorbs ambient water until it gets the size of an apple. He put the bubble just in my face around my nose and mouth. I try to hold my breath. I cannot muster enough strength, I need air. I try to breathe; however, the water doesn't enter my lungs but also the air. I start to feel my pulse in my head and my body shakes. “Don’t worry. I would never let my family drown.” His smile is the only thing that I’m able to notice until I can’t help but pass out.

[jellyfish-er]

That Summer: Chapter 2

Warning: cursing, mistakes, drinking

Y/n POV

Belly and I plopped down on her bed. We talked for a little while before she rolled onto her side and popped out a big question. “ How had Jeremiah been treating you. I looked at her with confusion before answering “ Good as always. Best friends always treat each other like humans.” Belly gave me a side eye before tumbling over and giggling. She knew I was obsessed with Jeremiah but sometimes I wondered if she knew more than I previously thought. “Belly do you talk to Jeremiah? Do you think he could like me back?” She opened her mouth to say something right when Jeremiah busted the door open. “Hello Ladies. Are you almost ready for the yearly shit show?” I knew what he was referring to because every year someone got in a fight and the cops came to break up the party. Or both for that matter. I had forgotten all about it. I said my goodbyes as I sprinted to my room down the hall to get ready.

I picked out something cute and comfortable. Sneakers denim shorts and a t-shirt. Basic as hell but it will do. I was buttoning my shorts when Jeremiah knocked on the door. I finished buttoning my shorts and yelled “give me one second. I have to put a shirt on.” Jeremiah busted the door open. “Nothing I haven’t seen before.” He said sitting on my floor. I blushed and threw my shirt on over my head. I grabbed a necklace and struggled to put it on. Here main walked over to me. “ Let me help.” He said as he grabbed it and put it on my neck. It was awkward having him so close to me. I could feel his breath on my neck. It was strange watching his big hands close such a dainty clasp. I muttered a small thank you and walked down to meet Belly in the living room.

When I returned downstairs the boys were wrestling Belly to the ground. I rolled my eyes and yelled that I was getting in Jeremiah’s car. I was the first one out so I called shotgun. I was also Jeremiah’s passenger princess so I had dibs. It turned out the they were trying to fit as many people on Conrad’s car as they could. It was just Jeremiah and I in his car.

we arrived at the shit show if the season and it was a disaster within in an hour. Everyone except Jeremiah, Belly and I were wasted off their asses. “Let’s sneak out of here.” Jeremiah whispered in my ear. That was the sexiest shit I had ever seen. Belly wasn’t happy that we were leaving her but when she realized it was just use she sent me a wink and rolled her eyes.

Jeremiah POV

Y/n is as such a tease in that outfit. Her shorts weren’t even that short, she just looked so beautiful. When we started running to my car her hair was flowing down her back. She must have straightened it. I knew she was insecure and I knew that’s why she didn’t wear those skimpy little crop tops like Belly and everyone else. I was perfectly okay with that. She was sexy beyond repair, and when we got into the car I really wanted to tell her how much I thought so. “Y/n you look SO sexy in that outfit.” She blushed. Like really blushed.

y/n: no I’m not.

j: yes you are

y/n: no Jeremiah. I’m not.

j: yes you are so I need to fucking show you????

Y/n POV

I was shocked when Jeremiah said he wanted to “show me” I was stuttering. I didn’t even get out a full answer before I felt his lips crash on mine. He was kissing me like he had all the time in the world. Like I was the only thing he ever wanted. Like all he wanted was right there in front of him. He kissed me with such passion and then I realized that it was no pity kiss. I kissed back with just as much force. He came up and grabbed my face. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any better he went in and gracefully put his tongue down my throat. We were full on making out when out of the corner of my eye I saw flashing lights. We knew those were the cops and hauled ass out of there.

[from-the-clouds]

Thinking of a Place (Part II) - Kendall Roy x Reader

Part One | Masterlist | Fic Playlist | Gif credit

Summary: You check on Kendall after he returns from Italy. Takes place after Succession 3x09 ‘All The Bells Say’

Words: 7k

Warnings: Contains SMUT (minors dni) unprotected sex. Alcohol/drug use and abuse. Depression. Mentions of attempted suicide. Kendall Roy existing and being a deeply sad man. Spoilers for seasons 1-3 of Succession.

A/N: Happy new year!!! This might be the horniest thing I’ve ever written so either 1) i’m sorry or 2) you’re welcome, I’ll let you decide. Please let me know what you think! Also, if you’ve sent me a request, I am working on those, please don’t think I’m ignoring you! I try to do them in the order they come in.

"Come inside, Mr. Roy should be home any minute."

You nodded, as Sasha, one of Kendall's staff, stepped aside, allowing you to follow her into the penthouse apartment. Kendall had moved here somewhat recently, after he separated from Rava, and you'd only been a handful of times.

Sasha led you into the great room of the luxurious home. "Can I get you anything?" You shook your head. The real reprieve was the air conditioning – you'd worked up quite the sweat getting over here, even in your lightweight summer dress.

"No thank you."

She disappeared down a hallway, and you were left alone. Every time you'd been here before had been for work, but brief, to drop off documents or strategize quickly before meetings. Though you were frequently surrounded by wealth and extravagance, right now, standing alone in Hudson Yards penthouse nearly knocked the wind out of your system.

You already felt on edge considering the circumstances, and this setting wasn't helping.

The stark white decor, with the occasional black accent, made it feel more like a museum and less like a home. It was almost laughable how over-the-top it was, floor to ceiling windows, multiple lounge areas. It had something like six bedrooms – you didn't know for sure, because you'd never seen them, but that seemed particularly egregious considering that Kendall's kids were rarely over and he didn't keep any company besides his various flings. So much of the excessive square footage likely went to waste. But this was how the super wealthy lived, you'd learned.

About a year ago, you'd finally been able to move out of the tiny, shitty apartment you'd shared with a roommate, and now you lived alone in a one bedroom place. That felt like a luxury to you, but you were realizing it looked like a shack compared to this, and it wasn't cheap by any means.

All the exterior walls were made up of windows, and you walked straight towards them to peer out over the city, letting your forehead fall against the glass to look down. From this height, 90 floors up, you were too far up to even make out the shapes of people walking below. There was, however, something mesmerizing about towering over the city like this – a city that often made you insignificant and replaceable. Right now, you felt neither of those things.

Standing there, watching life pass by, you lost track of time, until you heard the clack of dress shoes against the wooden floors, and a familiar, deep voice approaching.

Perking up, you stepped away from the window, smoothing the hem of your dress out of habit. Kendall rounded the corner and didn't register you right away, but you noticed every detail of his appearance. Phone to his ear, suit jacket slung over his free arm, his aviators were still perched on the bridge of his nose. Looking much more rugged than usual, stubble covered his jawline, and at some point between now and the last time you'd seen him, he'd shaved his head. Behind him, the woman who'd let you inside snuck his suitcases around the corner and likely into the master suite.

"Uh-huh, yeah," Kendall murmured into his phone, all business, but when he saw you, he hesitated. "Hey listen, I gotta go - let's talk tomorrow."

Kendall removed his sunglasses and squinted at you, pocketing his phone as he halted on the opposite side of the room.

"Uhh…what's going on?" he asked. He had a bit of a tan from the trip, but he still looked haggard, dark circles under his eyes, which were glazed over. The sleeves of his dress shirt had been rolled up to his elbows, likely in response to the heat in the city today.

"Hey," you answered, shifting your weight between two feet as he approached you hesitantly.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, and his tone was hard to read.

"Sasha let me in," you answered. "Uhm, sorry I didn't give you a heads up before," Kendall eyed you skeptically. "I heard you were back in town and I thought I'd stop by and uh…check in."

It had been Greg that texted you, letting you know that he was back in the city. It was a Friday night, you had one foot out the door on your way to a date, but had dropped everything to come here. You figured if Greg was back in town, then so was Kendall. You were right.

"Uh-huh," Kendall answered. "That's all? Not 'cause you're worried you're going to lose your job?"

Your stomach flipped. The last time you'd been alone with Kendall was the night of his birthday. He'd snuck out quickly in the morning. Since then, you'd only seen each at work, with other people around, and you'd both kept it professional. You weren't really sure where you stood with him, and after everything that you'd heard had happened in Italy, you couldn't handle the radio silence.

"No," you swallowed. "I heard about Italy, I just…I wanted to see how you were." Sure, maybe your job was a lingering concern in the back of your mind, but it would've never occurred to you to show up to Kendall's place and talk to him about something so trivial when you knew everything.

"What do you know?" he asked, tone stern and cold, and you knew to some extent he was only protecting himself.

"I know about Gojo and….the uh, the swimming pool…thing," you managed.

"Uh-huh. Who told you about that?"

"I uh…Greg."

Kendall laughed bitterly. "You shouldn't talk to him anymore, he's not a friend of ours."

All of the sudden it felt like there was a draft passing through the room. The A/C was far too cold, and Kendall's steely demeanor wasn't helping. Maybe this was a mistake. Maybe you misread things, maybe the night you spent with him didn't mean as much as you thought it had. You felt like an idiot for thinking otherwise.

"I know," you answered. "I know that, I just…." you swallowed hard, your face growing hot under his frigid stare. "I was just hoping to see you, Kendall. "

Kendall put his hand on his hip for a minute, studying you carefully as if he didn't believe you. There couldn't possibly be a reason you were there without some sort of ulterior motive. After a moment his face dropped, the emotionless, 'fuck you' facade he presented to the world slipped away, leaving behind the forlorn expression he'd gotten so good at hiding.

"Come here," he murmured, and you let him pull you into his arms. It was a catalyst, the tears that you'd been trying to smother since you'd heard the news of his accident came rushing forward, sliding down your cheeks. When you sniffed, his hand rose to cradle the back of your head, letting you nuzzle into his shoulder, holding you tightly. It was nice to have someone need him this way, for once.

"I'm sorry," you managed, hearing your voice break but continuing anyway. "I was so worried about you, I just needed to see you're okay."

"I'm okay," he soothed. "I'm okay."

"That's what you said before you left," you whimpered. You didn't want to talk too explicitly about what happened in Italy. You hadn't gone, Kendall had even given you the few days off. "What happened?"

"I promise you, I'm doing better," he dismissed your question. When he pulled away, he still clung to your shoulders, leaning down to look in your eyes. "Trust me, okay?"

You nodded wearily, his thumb grazed your cheek to wipe away a stray tear, eyes lingering, locked on yours, face mere inches away for too long to be appropriate. Not that it mattered to you. He had a way of making you feel like a fucking teenager again, all lightheaded and dizzy at the mere thought of kissing him. And then he pulled away, removing his hands from you.

"For the record," you swiped quickly under your eyes, clearing your throat. "I am still worried I'm gonna lose my job." You couldn't handle the tension in the room, you hoped your weak attempt at a joke would clear it up.

Kendall chuckled, and you didn't miss his quick once over as he stepped backwards. "You're all dressed up, you headed somewhere?"

You shrugged. "Not exactly."

"Have you eaten?"

"No."

"Uh-huh, well…I feel fucking gross, I need a shower, why don't you hang tight for like 20 minutes?" he asked. "We can grab a bite somewhere, talk some more."

"Uh, yeah," you said. "That's fine."

"Great." He retrieved his jacket from the couch. "Make yourself at home," he stepped away, disappearing down a hallway.

While he was gone you wandered to the dining room, finding a bar area with a sink and a mirror you used to touch up your makeup. You'd never been a believer in waterproof mascara, but you might have to convert based on the way these past few weeks had been going.

Kendall returned in a slightly more casual look, khaki-colored slacks and a blue button-down, the sleeves rolled up, typing on his phone. "You ready?" he asked. "The driver's downstairs."

He snuck you both out of a back entrance, avoiding the reporters that were now cluttered at the front of the building since news of his arrival back in New York had spread. At this point, the Waystar acquisition was no secret, even if the deal wasn't finalized.

The restaurant he'd chosen was nice, much nicer than you'd expected, much nicer than a place you'd describe as somewhere you could 'grab a bite to eat' as he had. Kendall's hand grazed against your lower back as the hostess led you to a secluded table.

"Can I start you off with some drinks?"

"I'll have a club soda, she'll have a Manhattan," Kendall answered quickly, ordering you your favorite cocktail.

The hostess left before you could say a word, and you frowned at Kendall. You were relieved, at least, to hear he wasn't drinking.

"Don't look at me like that," he glanced at you from over the menu. "I didn't want you to do that thing people do."

"What thing?" you asked, settling across from him.

"You know, when they find out I'm not drinking and then they don't drink because they feel weird about it and then it makes me feel like a fucking wet towel," he said. "It's Friday night, have a drink."

"Well, I know you're not a wet towel, that's for sure." you teased, and he rolled his eyes.

"You didn't have plans tonight?" He changed the subject.

"Uhhhh, well, kinda," you shrugged.

Kendall raised his eyebrows at you from over the menu.

"I don't know. It was like a date….maybe, I think."

"A date?" Kendall asked. "With that guy you're seeing?"

"You mean Ron?" You smirked, crossing your legs under the table and putting down the menu you'd been browsing. "You're so into him, aren't you? This is like….the third time you've brought him up."

Kendall frowned. "I just find it interesting…the way you talk about it. So fucking…like, cagey."

"How's Naomi?" you shot back.

Kendall grunted. "We're uh….you know. Whatever."

"See? I don't like talking about my personal life either."

"It's different," Kendall said. "You're such an enigma."

Raising an eyebrow, you resisted the urge to quip back something unfriendly. Even though you knew pretty much everything there was to know about him, all the ins and outs of his personal and professional lives, Kendall had never really made much of an effort to get to know you in return, beyond general pleasantries. Not that you cared, as the arms length approach seemed to work better, at least at first. Things were slowly changing, but it was still a one-sided relationship.

"Things aren't great," Kendall said after a pause, leaning forward. "With Naomi. Feels like things are…fizzling out."

Before you could respond, the waiter came by with your drinks, and to take your order. By the time you were gone, you felt like the moment had passed to ask him to elaborate.

"So are you going to tell me about this Gojo stuff or…?" you asked.

Kendall sighed. "Well, short and sweet, they're gonna buy us out. Mattson will be the new CEO, and then he gets to decide how to cut the fat. I don't know that he'll see Shiv, Roman or I as essential to the company, so we'll probably get fired."

Kendall didn't really seem as emotional as you were expecting him to be. For the past few years his goal of becoming Waystar's CEO had driven nearly every decision he'd made, and seeing it all crumble, seeing it all be for nothing, had to be eating him up. "And you're okay with this?"

"Shiv and Roman are pissed, and I am too, but…." Kendall shook his head. "I feel more relieved than anything else."

"What do you mean?"

"I took your advice. I tried to get out," he said. "My dad….he wouldn't let me. But if this deal goes through, if he's no longer in power, I'll be able to. It won't be everything I want but, maybe it's time. I mean, hell, it'd probably be a relief to Mattson, since I'm useless anyways."

"That's not true."

"You don't have to lie to me," he said. "I am. And it's okay. Whether I'm CEO or not, none of it changes. I'm still fucked. Forever."

Despite the fact that he seemed somewhat measured about the whole situation, your concern was in his words. "You don't have to be," you reached out, fingers grazing over his hand. "You can get help."

"Uh-huh," he smiled bitterly, looking down. "Because that's worked out so fucking well for me in the past."

You swallowed hard. "Listen," Kendall said, flipping his palm over to clutch your hands. "I'm really okay. You have to believe me."

The room you were dining in was dim and private. There was no one else around. It might be risky to poke the bear, but at least it was safe.

"And did you feel this way before or after you ended up in the pool?" you asked him, and maybe it sounded harsh but you couldn't ignore the elephant in the room. "I mean Kendall, really, you can't say all these things to me like that never happened. I mean, did you even talk��to anybody?"

"That was an accident," he growled, and despite the ice clipping the edge of his voice, you knew he knew you weren't convinced. But you didn't have to say anything before he continued. "This was all after," he quipped. "I talked to Shiv, Roman, and Conner. At least I have my siblings back."

That was somewhat of a relief, but you'd never really trusted his siblings, as they were quick to betray him to get into Logan's good graces. Who knew how long this truce would last. "Kendall, you need to talk to a professional."

"Uh-huh, look, I didn't bring you here to get fucking lectured, okay?" he said curtly. When you tried to pull your hand away in response, he clasped it tighter, holding you there. "I'm sorry," he breathed, softening. "I just can't get into all this now. It's too much."

He was right, though, you weren't being fair. Now was not the time. "I know, I just hate seeing you so…" you trailed off and took a sip of your cocktail.

Broken. It's what you wanted to say. But you couldn't, the word lay dead on your tongue. That profound sadness that always consumed him. You could feel it in the pulse point on his wrist, connected with your own. You wondered if something stronger could ever subdue it.

"Uh-huh," Kendall answered, and he released your hand gently from his iron grip. You always found it interesting how he responded when you admitted you were wrong, like he'd never encountered emotional control before. He probably hadn't.

"So…I probably will get fired then," you said, changing the subject. "When all is said and done."

He shrugged. "Not necessarily. You're smart. Mattson will probably find a place for you."

"I don't know," you said. "It might be time for a change."

The waiter arrived with your food, and you ordered another drink, watching him take a few bites of his meal. It occurred to you that if Waystar was really being sold, not only would you be out of a job, but you would also be of no use to Kendall.

"It'll be weird…" you said. "I'm so used to being at Waystar, working for you."

"Sounds like that would be a relief" he looked up at you, lips quivering into a rare smile. He looked so handsome when he smiled, the way the corners of his eyes wrinkled, the way his gaze shifted downwards, almost bashfully. You finished off the last of your drink. "But we'd still be friends."

"Mmmm," you tilted your head and pursed your lips. "But are we even friends now? Being friends would involve us talking about something other than work 24/7."

"Touche," he answered.

After dinner, you ended up back at his place. You weren't really sure why. You should have left to go home from the resturaunt, right to your apartment. It didn't make sense, but both of you seemed to have the same, unspoken agreement - that you weren't ready to end the evening yet. For you, it was the paranoia something bad might happen if you let him out of his sight. You weren't sure what his reasoning was, but you didn't really care.

"Thanks for dinner," you said, as Kendall followed you out of the elevator. "I can Venmo you, if you want," you elbowed him playfully.

"Yeah, go ahead, I'm gonna need the fifty bucks soon, help me pay the rent here," his hands were in his pockets.

"Speaking of," you gestured towards the great room of the penthouse. "This is place is fucking insane, I mean, really."

"Uh-huh, thanks," he said, following you to the wall of windows in front of you. It was dark now, and the city was lit up, squares of yellow lights covering the buildings, portals into another world.

"Do you ever stand here and just enjoy this view?" you asked.

"Not really," Kendall chuckled, standing beside you. His presence was both comforting and unnerving.

"I'd never get anything done," you glanced over at him, and he was looking at you, not at the view. When you caught his stare, though, he indulged you, and turned back towards the window.

"I guess it's pretty sick."

You shifted your weight in the boots you'd worn. They had been comfortable at first - practical, as you knew sandals just weren't a possibility in the city. Stepping away from the window, you sat on the couch to pull them off. "Okay, these are hurting me."

Kendall turned on the fireplace in front of the couch you'd sat on before joining you. Light danced over his face, you leaned back against the back of the couch and closed your eyes.

"It was nice," Kendall's voice echoed, and your eyes fluttered open as you turned to find him looking at you. "...to see you when I came home."

"I needed to see you," you answered. His pointer finger slid lazily over your hand resting between you, gauging your reaction. Your eyes didn't leave his.

His lips were full, perfect, pink. You wanted to know what they'd feel like on your own, on your neck, on your- no. You stopped yourself.

"You know I'll always take care of you, right?" Kendall asked. His pointer finger locked with yours, linking them together like this was some sort of promise. "If you need money, you need a place to stay, whatever."

You shook your head no. "I'm going to be fine, I don't expect that from you."

"That's why I want to. No one else I know is like you."

His sweet nature was oozing through his carefully curated facade, a bit of the sadness along with it but the sudden tenderness was overpowering. The side of him you'd believed many times that his father had beaten out of him. For the world? I'm sorry. You're not made for it. Any ounce of compassion Kendall had was always seen as a weakness, but those small glimpses of who he really was were what had kept you around.

"Thank you," you answered.

"You said we aren't friends," he said. "Maybe that's true. But…I want to know you."

"Okay," you whispered, shifting your weight so you were on your side, facing him directly.

His free hand rested between you, the one that wasn't clasped with yours, lifted to ghost over your knee. Kendall was testing you, seeing what you'd allow, seeing what touch went too far. He'd been in your arms, you'd been in his, but this was one boundary you'd never really crossed. He wanted to know. Watching your every move, each hitch in your breath, each microexpression, where were you going to draw the line?

Kendall felt he had been patient for too many years. Now you were here, laying across from him, the skirt of your dress riding up your thighs, letting him see more of you than you ever had. Had you been expecting to see him tonight when you put on that outfit? Or had this been for another man?

More broken now than he'd ever been, it felt like you were the only thing holding him together. How much of himself could he give away, in the hopes that you could fix it? He knew it wasn't right, technically, to look for answers in your arms, but he'd run out of ways to cope. Would it feel any better just to have you?

"I know you want to kiss me," you said, voice low. It was just like you to know. The only person who saw him, all of him, even the ugliest parts, and still chose to be loyal. There were only a handful of things he could give to you as a reward for your honesty, and the things he'd already tried didn't seem like enough. You deserved more.

Kendall moved, shifting his weight so he was above you, looking down, moving closer. "Do I?"

"I can feel it," you looked up at him, squeezed his hand. He moved a piece of hair from your face, trailing his touch along your jaw before angling your chin upwards. There was no resistance on your end, you were so open, so pliant beneath him.

Kendall slotted his lips against yours. He had approached you so painstakingly slow that you knew it hadn't been a mistake, or merely a decision made in the heat of the moment. It was purposeful.

He was gentle at first, chaste almost. Goosebumps pricked up your arms, your heart rate increasing. A million sweet nothings filtered through your mind of things you could say to him, but you couldn't find one that felt right, so you channeled all your energy into the kiss, which he deepened, tongue sliding to part your lips as he pulled your face closer.

You answered in kind, gripping his shoulder and jaw, the once-innocent gesture becoming more and more passionate. An involuntary whimper left you, and Kendall smiled against your mouth.

His opposite hand trailed down your body, grazing over your breast, waist, over your hip, pausing just above your knee, where your skin was bared to him, and he pushed apart your legs, which had been crossed. It was instant, the shock of arousal to your center, the sharp intake of breath in response, as if his lips on yours hadn't already awakened the deep-seated desire. You'd barely just begun to kiss him, and yet, you already knew what you needed.

Kendall eyed you when you pulled away, slightly, admiring you as your chest rose and fell, lips swollen and hair mussed. "Do you want this?" he asked.

"I do," you breathed. "I want it so bad, Kendall."

His lips connected with yours again, his cool hand slipping farther under the skirt of your dress, up the inside of your thigh, stopping just short of your panties. You moaned, then, into his mouth, so desperate, so needy. As much as you wanted to only keep kissing him, you couldn't resist exploring more.

"I want you in my room," he said. "Properly."

You only made it a few steps down the hallway before Kendall spun you around and nearly slammed you against the wall, lifting your knee to hook around his waist, cupping your ass with his free hand and grinding his hips against yours. He was already hard. You expected him to take you there against the wall, would be satisfied with that, as your fingers fumbled with the buttons of his dress shirt, managing to unbutton two, but he pulled away, the loss of contact making you huff in frustration.

"Come on," he said, a devilish look in his eyes.

You could hardly walk straight, the ache between your thighs was so intense it was painful, desperate for relief. It was annoying, how big his apartment was, the walk to the master bedroom took years, and it didn't help that he seemed unfazed by it all. You thought of all the other women who had walked down this hallway with him and then pushed the image out of your mind.

His bedroom was huge, low-lit, the lights of the city glimmering outside. It would've been nice to take a moment to appreciate the view, but there were other pressing matters at hand.

Kendall backed you into the bed, stepping between your legs and sliding a hand up your back to catch the hair at the nape of your neck. He kissed you again, your hands cradling his face as the desperation in his actions became more and more apparent, and you were becoming less and less patient.

His large hands returned to your thighs, massaging them as you let your legs fall open, his thumbs kneading into the soft flesh, working up close to your panties again. One of his knuckles grazed over the skin there, and you sighed, pressing your hips forward to seek more contact. Instead, his fingers hooked over the waistband and pulled them down around your ankles swiftly. You kicked them off eagerly and Kendall was quick to push your dress up over your hips.

Feeling suddenly exposed, you sat up, legs instinctively moving together, and Kendall paused, leaning forward to press his lips to your temple. "Is this okay?" he asked, voice a low whisper into your ear. "Want to make you feel good."

His words erased any self-consciousness you felt, as you knew he was exactly what you needed right now. "Mhm," you answered, raising a leg and pressing your heel into his back so his body was closer to yours.

Kendall chuckled, a sweet and warm noise that made your stomach flutter. Your lips met briefly again, a sloppy mess of teeth and tongues, before he backed away from you to kneel between your parted legs.

He waited far too long to touch you again, leaving you wanton and panting, watching him, waiting for his next move, until his hands wove around your thighs and pulled you to the edge of the bed, holding you in place. You were throbbing, aching, you could feel yourself growing wetter as he buried his face between your legs and kissed you everywhere except the place you needed him most, nipping and sucking at the skin newly exposed to him.

"Kendall, please," you begged for it, the plea slipping out before you could stop it, the urge for contact overriding all logic.

"God, I knew you'd be just like this," he groaned into your thigh, the vibration of his deep voice radiating straight towards your core. "So fucking wet for me, so ready."

There was no time for a response before Kendall gave in, warm tongue sliding to part you. He was right. You were so wet, it was sinful, and your head fell back at much-needed contact, the relief to finally have him where you wanted. He was eager, lapping greedily at your cunt, and you gripped at his shoulders to find purchase. The heat consuming your body was overwhelming, and only intensified when his mouth latched onto your clit, drawing a long moan from you.

"Sweet girl," he chuckled. "I could come from just the taste of you."

Heat flashed through your abdomen. You had no idea how to respond to his absolute filth, besides whimpering and grinding your hips harder against his face, which he seemed to like, his hands squeezing and grasping at you over your dress.

"I want you…to…" you managed. "Inside me."

"Be patient," he cooed. "Want you to come on my face first."

God, fuck, he was depraved. And you couldn't answer because you wanted to, too.

"That dress you wore," he mumbled, tongue circling your clit. "On my birthday." His hand traveled up your inner thigh. "I thought about fucking you in it all night."

"Mmm," was all you could offer, fearing the noises that would come out of your mouth if you opened it.

"I thought about being on my knees," his knuckle parted your folds. In between each phrase he'd attach his mouth back to you, sucking violently. "Your leg over my shoulder," he drove a finger into you, and you gasped. "Riding my face in some dark corner."

"Fuck, Kendall," you sobbed at the image, and the current position he had you in.

"You ever think about me?" he asked, eyes flicking upwards to lock with yours – you hoped you could brand the image into your mind forever – and you nodded.

"Tell me," he commanded, slowly pumping his finger in and out.

"I thought about you…" you took in a haggard breath. "...bending me over the desk in your office - fuck!" he drove another digit into you, you felt yourself opening up even more to him. "...eating me out…on your couch…." you panted, Kendall hummed in response, mouth occupied. "...Sucking your dick… under the conference table."

"Oh, you fucking dirty girl," His fingers curled and found the spot that seemed to quell the ache inside you momentarily, you moaned loudly at the relief and, seeming satisfied with your reaction, he began to repeat the motion again and again. Abandoning his line of questioning, he became quiet, diligently focused on making you come and it was working, a little too well. You'd never been one for dirty talk but you realized suddenly just how close you were, how much it had turned you on to tell your boss all the disgusting fantasies you'd had about him. He was unrelenting.

"Kendall, I'm-" you began, but couldn't even finish before it happened, your body betraying you as you came, hands grasping at the duvet, eyes squeezing shut, shuddering and gasping for air.

"That's it, good girl," he whispered, fucking you through it, not stopping until it was over. Just as you blinked your eyes open, he pressed one final open-mouthed kiss in between your legs before climbing on top of you, smoothing your hair behind your ear and latching his lips to your own once more. You could taste yourself on his tongue. "You're perfect," he said, pulling away, breathless.

"So are you, Kendall," you answered him, hands on his face, and he slowed his movements down slightly to look at you, your fingers fumbling with the buttons on his dress shirt. You were still coming down from your orgasm, lightheaded and a little dizzy, melting against him when he kissed you again. He didn't need to speak, you could hear everything he was thinking, the appreciation, the affection bleeding through his fingertips.

Pushing the dress shirt off his shoulders, you ran your hands down his torso through the smattering of chest hair, grasping at the outline of his cock through his pants. He grunted, pitching forward, his head falling to your shoulder, the weight of his body against you. "Fuck," he swore under his breath.

You didn't want to tease him, you'd already been teasing each other for years. The metal buckle of his belt jingled as you undid it quickly, after he'd already made you come once, you were able to think a little more clearly, but you still hadn't had enough of him.

Pushing him off you, you moved off the bed and sunk to your knees in front of him, before Kendall put a hand on your shoulder.

"I want you," he said stiffly, stopping you from continuing, voice pinched.

"Just for a little," you begged, fingers hooked in the waistband of his slacks. "Please?" you lowered your voice, waiting for him to answer. "I want to suck your cock, Kendall, please?"

Kendall couldn't resist the request, one of his hands sliding into your hair as you tugged away the fabric between you. "Well, since you asked nicely."

He was big, which didn't surprise you, your mouth watering at the sight of him. Truth be told, you'd never been dying to give any of your lovers a blowjob like this, but it felt like a fucking primal instinct now. Kendall watched you intently, big brown eyes, pupils blown wide as you wrapped your lips around his cock, taking him so deep you gagged. His head fell back, the moan he let out echoing off the high ceilings.

His hips rutted forward, involuntarily, forcing you to take him deeper, "Fuckin' so good," he praised. You raised your hand to work the part of him your mouth couldn't reach. At some point, Kendall had unzipped your dress and now he was tugging the fabric off your shoulders along with your bra straps, baring more of you to him.

You'd barely begun to work up a rhythm when he tugged your head backwards, forcing you to release him from your mouth with a pop. "That's enough," Kendall said sternly. "Get back on the bed."

He was more assertive than you'd imagined, but you weren't sure what else you were expecting. It was exactly what you needed.

Your dress was pulled away from you as you obeyed him, your bra unclipped by deft hands, and Kendall settled on his knees between your thighs, hovering over you, two fingers working into your soaked cunt, watching your face as you gasped and whined. A noise of protest left you when he pulled away, but not for long, as his fingers were replaced by the silky tip of his cock, which he slid up and down without giving into you fully.

Kendall ran a hand down the side of your body, letting it settle in the curve of your waist. Perhaps some part of you should've felt ashamed, or self-conscious under his voyeuristic stare but you were so lost in the moment, the heat between your legs crying out for him, you found the compromising position even more of a turn on.

"Please," you pleaded with him, and watched the smirk flit across his face.

He gave himself over in one swift stroke, the air ripped from your lungs as you were forced to adjust to all of him all at once. You clawed at his chest and he pitched forward, shifting his weight inside of you as your lips connected. "You okay?" he asked, tone surprisingly soft, one of his thumbs drawing along your cheek.

"Mhm," you nodded, letting him draw back out of you slowly.

"You tell me if I'm hurting you, okay?"

"I promis-Oh god," you cried out as he slammed back into you.

"You're so fucking wet, baby," he said. His voice sounded deeper than usual, if that was possible, all husky and filled with lust.

After taking him a few times, he worked you open enough to adjust to his size, and you relaxed a little. "Feels so good-"

"I know, baby, I know."

He fucked into you slowly, almost annoyingly so, making sure you took the length of him in full with each thrust, each one punctuated by an extra press forward of his hips so you could feel him deep in the pit of your belly. The sensation was too much, and not enough. Tears leaked from the corners of your eyes, and you were past the point of noises, only able to take long, shaky breaths as his eyes bore into yours, one of his hands gripping your ass to steady your hips, the other on the side of your face. You couldn't hide from him like this. It was the most intimate fucking you'd ever had, equal parts tender and lewd.

"Good girl," He sighed. "You take my cock so, so well, don't you?"

You nodded. "Kendall I-" you fought to find some words to answer his own with, the only thing left on your tongue was love you, which you knew to be true but it wasn't the time to say it.

"I've wanted…" he began to move a little faster, and you panted. "This for….so…." his fingers found your clit, applying just the right pressure. "So long," you let your nails rake down his back and you kissed again, a mess of tongues and teeth, far too lost in the moment to focus on form.

"Me too," he bent down, his teeth sunk into the spot just between your neck and collarbone.

You cried out in both pain and pleasure, the endorphins swirling through your body had you too intoxicated to have any idea that he was all-but marking you as his own.

Kendall watched the woman below him who he'd grown so fond of over the years, half in disbelief, half in a haze of arousal that was quickly coming to its peak. This was wrong. You deserved better than him, he was ruining you, and you both knew it. But he couldn't bring himself to care right now.

He was dying to make you come again, to feel you pulsing around his cock, and he could tell you were close, in the way your cunt grew tighter, the shake in your legs, how you clung to him desperately. He'd only dreamt of this for years, and his own imagination hadn't done any of it justice.

"You're so close, aren't you, sweet girl?" he asked.

You let out a shaky, breathless moan in response, nodding. He liked how needy you were for him, how you could barely string a sentence together when he was fucking you.

This wouldn't be enough, you decided. If you didn't spend the rest of the night letting him fuck you in every position, on every surface in his house even, it still wouldn't be enough. You needed him now, to have all the time. The seal had been broken and every sick, twisted bottled up desire you'd had needed to be satiated. You hoped that he felt the same, though if he didn't, you at least had this.

"Come on, let me feel you."

It was the dirty talk, again, that got you, his honeyed words pooling into the pit of your stomach before you came for the second time that night. You could almost hear the relief in Kendall's voice when he praised you again, fucking you through it, relentless. The rut of his hips became vicious, maybe even painful if it weren't for your post orgasmic high. In fact, you weren't even aware of the fact you were begging him to come inside you until he did, triggered by your own release as he twitched and throbbed and filled you up.

Kendall's teeth nipped at the already-sensitive spot on your neck, you bared the brunt of his weight, your fingers dancing across the skin at the nape of his neck, soothing him in the aftermath. After a moment, he moved out of you, his lips grazing your forehead.

Lying next to you briefly, letting his breathing return to normal, he soon retreated from the room without a word. You curled up in a ball, feeling suddenly lonely, the real consequences of your actions clear in the wake of the rush of hormones and adrenaline. The spot on your shoulder was aching now. There was no coming back from this.

Just as you were regretting every word and action from the entire night, a voice cut through your thoughts.

"Here," you hadn't heard Kendall reenter the room, and you blinked your eyes open just as he was pressing a cold glass of water into your hands. You drank from it graciously, scooting over slightly to allow him to sit on the edge of the bed. He ran a damp, warm cloth in between your legs, then tugged back the duvet, inviting you both to slide under the covers. He wrapped an arm around your waist and pulled you back against him, his energy protective, reverent.

"You okay?" he murmured into your ear. "Was I too rough?"

"No," you chuckled, rolling over to face him, and his brows drew together as he ran his thumb over the welt forming on your shoulder.

"Don't worry," you shrugged him off. "I liked it."

He nodded, and you splayed your hand across his bare chest, letting your eyes flutter closed as your head all but melted into the expensive down pillows on his bed.

"Will you stay?" his voice cut through the silence again, you focused back on him, rather than your daydreams. "You don't have to, it might be nice, I just…I really don't want to be alone right now."

"Of course," you assured him, and he smiled, pulled you close so he could kiss you again, deeply. This was lazy, more explorative, and lacked the desperation from before. But it was nice, gentle, and you appreciated his tenderness after everything that had gone down. "As long as you'll have me," you mumbled against his mouth.

"You'll be here awhile, then," he answered, you could taste the smile on his lips.

This was a bandaid. You knew you weren't the cure, that you couldn't help him really, couldn't erase all his problems. But for now, it was enough.

Part III

[huge-enthusiast]

Miraculous fic recomendations!!

This is just an excuse to show all my bookmarks? Yes. Yes, it is. I'm pretty sure most of this fics are really popular, but try see if you find something you didn't knew about!

All of the fics will be rated Teen and up audiences or lower. Also if I don't put the author's tumblr is because they didn't put it in the fic or/and I couldn't find it.

Pairing: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug

knowing you by emsylcatac (they are not really the author of the fic but that's the account that says in the fic, the actual author doesn't have an account).

After dropping their transformations months ago, Marinette and Adrien see each other for the first time after being apart. They've both left too much unsaid and have to work to pick up the pieces of their confused hearts.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal but mostly ladynoir, light angst with happy ending.

the last day on earth by Reiaji

The first time Marinette sees Chat Blanc, she's fourteen years old. The second time, fifteen—the third time, seventeen.

The closer she grows to Adrien, the harder it is to save him.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, kinda heavy angst, hopeful ending.

tell me something i don't know by carpisuns (@carpisuns here on tumblr)

Do you think it still means something? To love someone, even if the universe said you had to?

The odds of having a soulmate are about negative one billion (or something like that). But somehow, like they always have, Marinette and Chat Noir find themselves together. They’re ready to finally tell each other everything, but it turns out that even soulmates have to keep secrets, and while their bond draws them together, duty forces them apart.

Chapters: currently 17/28 (WIPs can be exhausting but this one is 100% worth the wait!)

Mostly marichat but almost all of the lovesquare sides make an appearance, soulmates au, mostly fluff but it can get angsty if it wants to.

One Thing After Another by SKayLanphear

Marinette notices that, sometimes, Adrien acts a little out of the ordinary--like the time he stood in a cardboard box for no reason, or when he actually hissed at Nino. It's only when she starts to notice the similarities between Adrien and a certain feline that she begins to get suspicious.

Basically, Adrien acts like a cat when he probably shouldn't.

Chapters: 15/15

Mostly adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, miraculous side effects (by both sides wich is really cool!), it's fluff with a lil tiny angst for drama.

This would take some getting used to by Codango (@codango here on tumblr!)

Adrien peeked out from behind the chimney even as the magic of his own Chat Noir mask fell away.

She was still visible, her dark hair bobbing under the street lamps a couple blocks away.

“Marinette.”

Adrien blew out a confused breath. His fiery Ladybug… was the quiet little mouse who sat behind him in class?

“What. The.”

This… would take some getting used to.

Chapters: 8/8

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Adrien's part, awkward flirting, just fluff, nothing to worry about.

comfort food also by Reiaji!

In Marinette's house, cooking is a language of love, and Marinette loves Adrien more than most.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette with a little of ladynoir, super super fluff, a lot of insight into Marinette's chinese heritage.

The right side of his face by walkingonthestars (@hamsternamedmarinette here on tumblr!)

Marinette and Adrien are able to remain in their new seats in the back of the room at the end of Chameleon.

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette, fluff with light angst.

it's a long way forward so trust in me by aloneintherain (@captainkirkk here on tumblr!)

“You’re not the only strong one around here, Chat,” Marinette said. She looked a little winded, but she wasn’t struggling to hold him up.

This close up, he could see the freckles on the bridge of her nose. He could see how that smug smile lit up her eyes. He could feel the strain of her arms—and wow, okay, he really wasn’t the only person around here with muscles.

Six times Marinette carried Adrien (plus one time he carried her).

Chapters: 1/1

All the sides of the lovesquare! Fluff with LOTS of mutual pining.

a fight that you were born to lose also by aloneintherain

When the prosecution starts throwing around the word victim in reference to Adrien, he has to stuff his hands under his thighs to keep himself from bolting out of the courtroom.

Adrien had felt unsafe during those last few weeks, but, until he had woken up and seen Father silhouetted in his bedroom doorway, that had only been paranoia. Father was controlling and cold, but he wasn’t hateful. Adrien was isolated. He was often hungry. And some weeks ago, when he had snuck out to visit Nino, sitting thigh-to-thigh on his bed while Adrien cried in that silent, crumbling way of his, he hadn’t argued when Nino put a hand on his shoulder and said, tentatively, That’s abuse.

But Adrien remembers being small and Father touching his hair after he’d aced another test; Father holding his scribbled drawings like they were something precious, and framing them around his office; Father, dressed as Hawkmoth, his eyes wild behind the mask, lashing his sword against Adrien’s baton; Father, collapsed against Mum, crying into her ashy hair.

Adrien finds out Gabriel is Hawkmoth, and Gabriel gets to bring his long-waited plan into action.

Chapters: 1/1

This one doesn't really focus in the ship that much as is an Adrien character study and an exploration of his relationship with his father, but they're still there so I put them here. Really heavy angst (this is one of this fics that haunt me in the middle of the night) with a happy ending. ❗TW: parental abuse, eating disorders❗

Supercut by LNC

Marinette loves her friends and Adrien can't deal.

Chapters: 1/1

Post-reveal lovesquare, again light angst, an exploration of Adrien's insecurities, Marinette Dupain-Cheng deserves the world, happy ending.

Madame Snare by jettiebettie

“Sounds like a lot of work for nothing. She should take this as a sign to have a relaxing weekend with no responsibilities.”

“It's a lot of work she put her whole heart into. It wouldn't be right for it to go to waste,” Adrien whispers to him. The look on Marinette's face is enough to cause Adrien's own heart to ache. If anyone deserves the satisfaction and pride from a job well done, it's her.

“Too bad there isn't anyone else who can walk in those death traps,” Plagg says. Adrien hums in thought, tapping his chin.

“I could.”

Chapters: 1/1

Marichat, episode-based, Chat Noir in a dress!!!, light angst but it's mostly just idiots being idiots and a lot of fun.

in the same sun by peachcitt (@peachcitt here on tumblr!)

"It’s hard to believe that I saw you last at the peak of summer, when the sun was close and warm - and so were you. It should go without saying that I miss you. I miss you something terrible."

//

"It’s been seven months to the day since I’ve seen you. I wish you were here more than anything else."

Two letters, signed with initials instead of names, found in Paris, France.

Chapters: 1/1

Ladynoir, just angst, that's it, written like letters. No ending, just pain.

an uncurtain discovery by Missnoodles (@ladyofthenoodle here on tumblr!)

When he returns from school on Wednesday afternoon, Adrien discovers the darkness in his own home. He struggles to come to terms with it. To his utter mortification and delight, Ladybug is nearby to rescue him.

(He does not discover that his father is supervillain. That will happen on a different Wednesday.)

Chapters: 1/1

Ladrien, it says it's crack, and don't get me wrong, is super funny, but I also found it sad as fuck?

An Open Secret by Kasienda

Adrien whirled around toward Marinette. She smiled at him.

He couldn’t smile back. He stared at her like the dumb blond model that he was often accused of being.

Something shifted in her expression. And her warm open Marinette smile transformed into Ladybug’s grin. He was looking at Ladybug right now.

He knew Ladybug’s name!

Her name was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

And he couldn’t say anything! Not to Marinette! Not even to Plagg, who had confided two weeks prior that Master Fu was growing increasingly paranoid since the location of his home and hideout had been compromised. Their master had apparently decided that Chat Noir and Ladybug would have to give up their miraculouses if they ever discovered each other’s identities.

It wasn’t fair!

...

A fic where they both know, but can't openly talk about it.

Chapters: 4/4

Post-reveal... but is it? Mostly adrienette and ladynoir, fluff with light angst and them being absolute idiots at hiding their secret identity.

golden (like daylight) by okayanna (@anna-scribbles here on tumblr!)

Friendship, Adrien decided, shaking off the mental image of Marinette’s hurricane eyes and hesitant mouth, parted in a small, careful “o.” He had a very strong friendship with Marinette. That was all.

or

Adrien thinks a lot about words, love, and Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

Chapters: 1 + epilogue

Adrienette but has lots of ladynoir, another Adrien character study because I hate myself, it tries to not be angst but the writing will punch you in the guts and make you cry, it's so good.

Strangers in the Bright Lights by poodles (@ladybeug here on tumblr!)

Adrien is about two drinks in when he sees a girl at the end of the bar wearing black cat ears. It's kind of weird, so he watches her, and although it's crowded he can see her face when she turns around. She’s wearing a Chat Noir mask. He takes a quick look around- nobody else is wearing a mask. Just her.

Adrien finishes his gin martini and heads over to her. He could use some company tonight anyways, he hasn’t told anyone he’s back in Paris and Nathalie won’t arrive in town for another month. And it’s been a rough day, okay? A rough move! He’s not sure he wants to be back yet, and he spent most of the day in the Agreste mansion sorting through some photographs of his father he found in the study. Maybe he wants a drink and some stranger to tell him he’s pretty! That’s not a crime, is it?

Chapters: 1/1

Adrienette but it's also ladrien??? I think??? It's super super angsty but they're both drunk the entirety of the fic so it's also really funny.

Pick-Up and Chase by also SKayLanphear

After she accidentally trips into Adrien and apologizes about "falling for him," Marinette learns that he's no match for cheesy pick-up lines--whether they were unintended or not. And while she finds it flattering that he turns into a flustered mess with only a few words, Marinette comes to regret making him uncomfortable. That is, until she learns he's Chat Noir. At which point the phrase "just deserts" becomes a permanent fixture in her everyday plans.

A story in which Adrien is flustered, Marinette is smooth as glass at dropping lines, and Chat Noir gets the romance he was always asking for--even if he doesn't quite know how to handle it.

Chapters: 10/10

Adrienette with one sided reveal by Marinette's side, it doesn't say it in the tags but I'm pretty sure the characters are much older than they actually are in the show, so much fluff and so much flirting.

Pairing: Alya Césaire/Nino Lahiffe

Nino Has Done Nothing To Deserve This by GuardianKarenTerrier (@guardiankarenterrier here in tumblr)

It's nothing, really- just an innocent comment, a joke. But when they hear it, Nino and Alya come to a realisation.

There were, in retrospect, dozens upon dozens of hints. Now that they're suddenly aware of all their friend's flimsy excuses and rushed explanations, they're not only sure how they've missed it, they're not sure how anyone else has either. They realise that it had to be magic protecting their friends- and that same magic has ceased to work on the two of them.

Well, this means they'll just have to start watching over their friends themselves.

Chapters: 7/7

This is more a found family fic than anything else, Alya and Nino are the mom friend, has light angst but it's mostly identity shenanigans in the most bizarre way. ❗TW: eating disorders❗

christmas lights by demistories

Nino checks up and down the street, checking to make sure there’s no raging akuma headed his way before he crosses quickly and ducks inside the small café. He closes the door quickly before the icy air can blow inside and tugs his beanie down over his ears. He spots Alya sitting alone in the corner.

Chapters: 1/1

Just fluff!! Really short but really sweet.

hold on, i still want you also by Missnoodles!

Written for the @thedjwifizine ! Wich I also recommend if you wanna binge a lot of djwifi fics while also looking at amazing art!!!

Five times Alya ran into her ex, and the one time he stopped being her ex.

Chapters: 1/1

Light angst with a happy ending! I don't really like the ex-lovers to lovers trope but this one is the only exception.

I will continue to expand the list in the future! But by now I hope I was helpful in the search of new fics!

[corrodedcoughin]

Hi! It’s me the steddie kid and Corroded Coffin anon! I love argyle as their manager! I also think that one day Erica becomes their lawyer cause I just know she’d kill in entertainment law. As she grows up and matures she gets better at holding her tongue and reigning it in, but can still be all business with the band and shut off friend mode. Max takes a job because she has no idea what she wants to do and always says “this is just temporary as soon as I get a better offer I’m leaving” but she starts training under their tour manager and takes over when he retires. She still tells Eddie that “the finishing touches are almost done on my two weeks” but then she launches into their next tour schedule. Robin is featured on some songs because she can play like the most obscure instruments and Eddie loves incorporating them in his songs. Dustin, mike, and Lucas all help with AV equipment while in college for experience.

Steve, however, has never “officially” worked with the band. He and Eddie discussed it early on and Steve really wanted Eddie to have something for himself, and he knew he wanted to do something with kids. He becomes a guidance counselor and loves getting to help more kids discover who they are and get them out of the existential crisis he faced when he graduated. Corroded Coffin mainly tours in summer whenever possible so Steve can travel around, not because he doesn’t trust Eddie to be faithful but because they’re so codependent and his family is all there so that’s the only place he’d want to be. When they have a baby he brings them too when they’re little before they start having more summer activities. Steve plays the piano around the house all the time when he’s bored and Eddie will hear a melody he comes up with and they write something together so in a way Steve is involved with the band. Also Eddie absolutely dedicates the songs they write together to his baby and love of his life. He also throws in covers of the cheesiest love songs for Steve.

Anon you are back!!! THANK YOU for gracing me with your thoughts 🙏🙏🙏

LOVE the Erika thing because she is an absolute powerhouse and takes no shit. Corroded coffin are out here getting all their riders, rights to all their own songs, copyright claims from others thrown out of court before they even start, and she LOVES it and the whole band and team love her. They know it’s going to be a fun time if Erika shows up to any meetings with execs. Side note but if you’ve ever seen school of rock Erika would be the evolution of summer. There would be no holding her back and eventually people would be trying to poach her from the band and the exact same for Max!

Max actually has a big part to play in making sure none of the band get too wasted or high. She keeps an eye on all of them and knows when enough is enough. She’s firm and they respect her. She’s saved certain band members from going down a slippery slope countless times. They adore her and would be lost without her.

STEVE AND THE BABY WEARING THOSE EAR PROTECTOR HEADPHONES. STEVE GRABBING THE BABYS ARM AND WAVING IT AT EDDIE. Eddie fumbling the next note because he’s too busy smiling :(((( counsellor Steve always wears corroded coffin merch on Fridays as his ‘dress down Friday’ look. The first time students see it they are utterly shocked, Steve explains that he’s just a really big fan. When he appears in a music video for the band made of tour diary footage every single one of his pupils are clamouring to call him out. Steve??? And the guy from the metal band with a bunch of piercings, spikes, crop tops and tattoos??? He tells them they live together but otherwise keeps his cards close to his chest. It’s in these small actions that he can keep Eddie to himself when he has to share him in so many ways. He loves what Eddie does, loves seeing him and his friends, THEIR friends in their element. But sometimes it’s nice to keep some things just for him and Eddie

[queenxxxsupreme]

Defender, Protector, Keeper (Arthur Morgan x f!reader)

A/N: This is one of those things I write that should have a first part but.... It doesn’t.... I do plan on making more within this little.... world??? With this mom!reader and her son Ben. So sorry for this mess. 

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: violence, nothing out of canon, Micah is mean to children, mute child (is that a warning?) fluff, Arthur being a father figureish thing, soft Arthur, I don’t know what else to tag, blood? it’s all canon to the game

Summary: Arthur steps in to help you with your son after a run in with Micah.

***

“Miss Y/L/N! Miss Y/L/N!”

You moved out of the tent upon hearing Mrs. Grimshaw calling your name. 

“Right here, Mrs. Grimshaw.” 

“There you are. Where is that boy of yours?” She looked around as if trying to peek into the tent. I’ve got a little chore for him and Jack.”

“He was just in here helping me with laundry, but he wouldn’t mind giving you a hand.” You turned to go into the tent. “Ben? Mrs. Grimshaw needs your help.”

Ben, your five-year-old son, put the clothing in his hand down and looked at you. 

“Come on with me, Ben. I’ve already got Jack over by the woods.” Susan gestured for him to follow her.

“What are the boys going to do?” You asked her. 

“Help Lenny and Sean pick some firewood. The little fellas ain’t gonna pick nothin’ but some small kindling. The fellas– Well, Lenny won’t let the boys hurt themselves.”

You fought the urge to volunteer to follow your son. It was just little kindling sticks and twigs. It wasn’t like they were going to chop down entire trees.

Susan, sensing your hesitation, stopped just at the edge of your tent.

“They aren’t going far into the woods at all, Y/N. Charles and Bill are on guard duty and Sean and Lenny are going to be with them. Nothin’s gonna happen to those boys.” She assured you.

You nodded your head, reaching down to run your fingers over Ben’s hair. 

“Go on and help Mrs. Grimshaw, Ben.”

He silently followed alongside her. 

You continued to fold laundry until it was finished. Once that was complete, you decided to go out and see if there was anything else around camp you could help with. 

It seemed to be a rather mellow evening. No one was out doing any jobs nor was anyone talking about any jobs, which was a rarity. In the three months that you had been staying with the Van Der Linde Gang, you had quickly realized their lifestyle was fast paced and there was almost always something to do. 

You made your way over towards the tent the girls in camp stayed in. 

“Hi, Y/N.” Tilly greeted you first. She was reading a book.

“Hey, Y/N!” Mary-Beth was also reading. Karen sat on a chair next to the two singing. “You wanna sit with us for a bit? You’ve been working hard all day.”

“That’s okay, Mary-Beth. I think I should go see if Ben is doing okay with Sean and Lenny.” You looked around towards the woods.

“What’s he doing with those two fools?” Tilly put her book down in her lap. 

“Mrs. Grimshaw had him and Jack helping them with firewood.”

“Last I saw, Lenny and Sean were sitting over by the fire.”

A knot began to form in your stomach. Why hadn’t your son returned to you?

You moved to search for Lenny and Sean, but they proved to be easy to find. They were sitting at a fire with a few other gang members. 

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” You cut off Sean. “Where is Ben at?”

“Hi, Miss Y/L/N.” Lenny gave you a charming smile. “Ben and Jack went over towards John and Abigail’s tent. Jack said they were going to play.”

“Thank you, Mr. Summers.” 

***

You did indeed find your son at John and Abigail’s tent. He sat outside of it with Jack. Jack was talking about some sort of story that Hosea had told him about a bear while your little Benny just kept playing with his half of the deck of cards. 

“Y/N.”

You looked up to Abigail. 

“Hi, Abigail.”

“I hope you don’t mind that Jack brought Ben over. I know Susan had them working earlier.”

“I don’t mind.” You shook your head, smiling. You crossed your arms as you watched Ben. Jack didn’t seem to care that Ben was silent and wasn’t responding to him. Jack had learned since you both arrived at camp that talking wasn’t something Ben did, so he usually did all of the talking for Jack. You were thankful for this. In the beginning, you weren’t sure how young Jack would react to your quiet son. 

“Do you want to sit down and have a cup of coffee with me?” Abigail asked. “I don’t usually get much down time, but neither do you. You’re always running around.”

“Have to keep busy, you know.” You chuckled a little. “Coffee sounds nice.”

The both of you got your drinks and then sat down at a table not too far from the boys. 

“They grow like weeds.” She thought out loud, shaking her head softly. “I’m gonna have to get Jack some new clothes soon. He’s about to be too big for nearly all the pants he’s got. Maybe Ben could fit into what Jack can’t wear. Ben is a little thing. That way you don’t have to go out and waste money. I mean, the clothes aren’t perfect. Jack has needed them patched more than once. But they work.”

“That’s very kind of you, Abigail. Thank you.”

She gave you a smile.

“Momma! Momma!” Jack called as he ran over to Abigail. 

Ben rushed up to you, a smile on his lips. His hair fell into his face and he tried to wipe it out of his eyes but he didn’t do too good of a job.

“Hi, love.” You smiled down at him, brushing your fingers through his hair. “Are you having fun?”

He nodded, looking over to Jack. 

“Momma, can we go give Sean his cards back?”

“Where is Sean at?” Abigail asked, looking around the camp. 

“He’s just on the other side of camp at one of the other fires.” You told her, recalling where you had seen him earlier.  

“If Miss Y/L/N says that Ben can go, then yes. You can. But you have to ask her.”

Ben tugged on your skirt as if to ask you.

“Miss Y/L/N! Can we take Sean his cards?” Jack waved the stack of cards around.

“I don’t see why not.”

“I’ll race you over there!” 

You watched as Jack took off first with Ben just behind him. 

“I’m glad Jack finally has someone to play with and keep him company.” Abigail smiled. 

“They get along so well.” You nodded. “I was a little…. worried at first, if I’m honest.”

“Oh really?”

“Just because…. Well, sometimes it’s hard for Ben.”

Abigail nodded her head understandingly. 

“He’s a sweet boy, Y/N. You raised him well.”

“Thank you-,”

“You dumb little rat! Watch where you’re going next time!”

You stood up upon hearing the sound of shouting. Feeling the urge to find out what had happened, you ventured across camp until you found your son and Micah Bell. Micah had a hold of Ben’s arm and was holding him at an awkward angle. 

“When someone speaks to you, little boy, you’re supposed to answer them!”

“Micah!” You raised your voice. 

Micah turned his head to look at you but didn’t let your son’s arm go. 

Anger bubbled in your veins. 

“Ah, the whore. Maybe someone better teach this boy manners before he ends up worse than his ma.”

You pushed against Micah’s chest. Ben was crying at this point, trying to grab onto your skirt anywhere he could but Micah was finding amusement in pulling the boy away from you. 

“Micah! Get your hands off of that boy!” Abigail shouted. 

The next few moments happened all too quickly for you to know what exactly happened. But Micah released Ben and he fell backwards to the ground. Your hand flew up to smack him and you landed a nice hit on his cheek, but he was quicker than you and far more skilled in fighting so the backhand to your cheek came out of seemingly nowhere. 

You took a few steps back to keep from falling flat on your ass. You ended up hitting something solid. A hand found your side and another your arm. 

It was Arthur Morgan. He only took a couple seconds to make sure you were steady on your feet before moving around you to deliver two punches to Micah. The nasty man fell back as blood began to pour out of his nose. 

“Y/N, are you okay?” Abigail rushed to one side of you and Mary-Beth came to the other. 

You didn’t answer them. You only pushed them away to get to your son. 

Tears streamed down his cheeks as he sat in the dirt where he had fallen. 

There was a hand on your wrist that stopped you just before you could get to him. 

Arthur turned you back around to face him. You pulled against him, wanting desperately to get to your son.

“You’ve got blood on ya, pumpkin.” He murmured quietly, using his thumb to wipe away the little bit of blood from your busted lip. “He don’t need to see that.”

“Th-Thank you.” You whispered. 

“Can I pick him up? Move him somewhere else for you?”

You nodded. 

Arthur let you go and moved towards Ben. 

“Come here, Benny. You alright?”

Ben nodded his head, shyly tucking his face into Arthur’s neck.

Arthur took him to a table and sat him down on it, then pulled out a chair for you. But you couldn’t sit down just yet. You had to make sure he was okay. 

Your hands cupped his face and tilted his head up so you could check him over for any marks. 

“Are you okay, love? Does anything hurt?”

He held up his hands to you, showing that his palms were scraped up and bleeding a little. He sniffled, his bottom lip quivering. 

“I’ll get somethin’ to clean those up, Y/N.” Mary-Beth spoke, moving towards Strauss’s wagon.

Upon seeing the scratches and bleeding scrapes from Ben falling back and catching himself on his hands, anger welled up inside of Arthur. 

He turned and started to make his way towards Micah. 

“Arthur! Arthur Morgan!” Abigail called after him, but she couldn’t stop him herself. “John! Mr. Smith! Please!”

You couldn’t pay attention to what was happening with Arthur right now. Ben was important and took priority. 

You brushed his hair back and sat down in front of him. 

“I’m so sorry you got hurt, love.” You leaned forward to kiss his cheek. 

He wrapped his arms around your neck, careful not to touch you with his injured hands, and then slid down into your lap. 

A few moments later, Mary-Beth returned with a bowl of water and a few rags. Tilly was with her too, helping to carry bandages. 

“Are you alright, Benji?” Tilly asked. He nodded his head without lifting it from your chest. “He didn’t get too hurt by that nasty Micah, did he?”

“Think it just spooked him more than anything.” You answered her. “Thank you, girls.”

The items were placed on the table and then they left. 

“Ben, I need you to sit on the table so I can reach you, love.”

He shook his head. 

“We’ve got to get these scratches cleaned up, okay? We don’t want them to get yucky.”

A hand found your shoulder. You looked to see Arthur moving around your chair. 

“Lemme give ya some help. That way Benny can stay on your lap where he’s comfortable.”

You nodded your head, giving him a little smile as a thank you. 

“Hey, Benny? Can I see your hands?”

Benny shifted around on your lap so that he could easily face Arthur. He gave Arthur one hand. 

“This might sting just a bit, but I promise it’ll be over soon.” 

Arthur got a rag wet and began to clean the dirt and little bit of blood from Ben’s small palm. 

“You’re a strong fella, Benny. You know that?”

Ben sniffled. 

“I heard you helped Sean and Lenny with getting firewood. Did you carry all the big logs by yourself?”

A little grin tugged at your son’s lips. He shook his head. 

Once he was cleaned up and Arthur had carefully wrapped up his hands, Ben looked around for Jack. He was with Hosea. The two weren’t very far away at all. Ben shimmied down from your lap but stayed by you. His eyes were focused on Jack. He wanted to go play with his friend. 

“You can go on, love.” You told him. He flashed you a little toothy smile before taking off in the direction of Hosea and Jack. 

Arthur stayed on his knees beside you for a few moments, watching Ben go. He let out a breath through his nose and shook his head. 

“That bastard is lucky I don’t put a bullet in him.” He rose to his feet, shaking his head. 

“Ben is okay, Arthur.” You turned your head to look at him. “He just…. He was just shaken up a bit. But he’s okay.”

“He hit you too. No man should ever treat a lady like that.” 

You admired his words, the way he viewed things. 

A little smile came to your lips and you watched him sit down next to you. 

“Well, Mr. Morgan. Not everyone has the same ideals as you.”

Arthur shook his head, fingers curling into a fist. He was still worked up over the situation. 

“It’ll be okay, Arthur.” You reached over to place your hand on his. “I can take a hit just fine. But I do appreciate you stepping in. It was really kind of you to help clean up Ben.”

He became a bit sheepish at your words, tipping his head down so you couldn’t see his eyes completely thanks to the brim of his hat. He cleared his throat. 

“Just-Just hate seein’ the little guy cry is all.”

You smiled a bit and gave his hand a squeeze before moving away from the table he sat at. 

Arthur watched you leave, then turned his head to watch the two youngest members of the gang with Hosea. Hosea was telling a story while Jack and Ben listened. 

Arthur turned his head back to see where you had gone off to. You were standing with Abigail near Pearson’s tent. Abigail said something that caused you to look at Arthur, a smile pulling at your lips then you looked back at her, shaking your head and bringing your hand up to cover your mouth. It was a poor attempt to hide a giggle. 

Arthur fixed the hat on his head and decided to go towards his horse. 

“When are you gonna tell her?” Charles spoke from his horse. He was messing with a strap of Taima’s saddle. 

“Tell her what?”

Charles rolled his eyes and shook his head. 

“I’m not oblivious to it, Arthur. I don’t think any of us in camp are.”

“To what?”

“That you fancy her.”

Arthur mounted his horse, shifting around in the saddle a bit.

“I don’t know what you are talking about, Mr. Smith.” He adjusted his hat. 

“Yeah, I’m sure you don’t.”

“You wanna come with me? Or keep standing there goin’ on about it?”

Taglist: @winterwolf @lauramb7 @caraqas @bluscryn @krenee1drful @zodiacaldust @nonodino @cal-lifornication @thefirelordm @sargeantsea @sokkasdarling @thecollection @mayday1284 @kashasenpai @misskrql @brooke-supernatural16 @lassiee @hocdolliday @micahs-bird 

If your name is in italics, it wouldn’t let me tag you :(

[tbmaybank]

He Doesn’t Need To Know (2/?)

(Gifs not mine)

Part 1

Warnings: drinking, smoking, mentions of sex, angsty, cussing.

Summary: It’s the first big party since y/n and JJ started their secret relationship, but things don’t go exactly as planned.

A/N: this came out more angsty than originally planned 😬 also, if you have any requests for other stories, feel free to send them!

Anyway, I hope you enjoy!

——————————————————————————

It had been 4 months since you and JJ begun secretly seeing each other. Even though you hated that you had to hide it, and hated how you couldn’t kiss him whenever you wanted, you were happy. You two had found ways to be alone together almost every day. Sometimes those moments were only for a few stolen kisses, but they made your heart melt every time. Nights were easier. Almost every night, you’d find that blonde boy sneaking in. Those times were your favorite. And it wasn’t even because of the sex, which seemed to be better each time. It was being able to lay in his arms as you guys talked about anything and everything.

Hiding this from everyone was surprisingly easier than expected. Even though you were both always sneaking glances at each other, and finding any excuse to be near each other, no one seemed to suspect a thing. In the whole 4 months, there was only one close call, where Sarah came into your room while he was in there. Luckily, he was able to hide in time. Although, you think Sarah would be the one person who wouldn’t say anything if she did find out. She was always saying John B was too protective of you, and needed to let you live your life as you wanted.

You were currently sitting next to Sarah, wondering if maybe she could help you find a way to tell John B whenever you guys decided it was time. Your thoughts are interrupted as the boys pull up and announce they got the kegs.

“About time!” Kiara shouts as she walks out of the house. “It took you guys forever.”

“Well, your knights in shining armor have arrived with booze!” JJ shouts back.

This was the first big party they were throwing this summer. You were kind of nervous about it, if JJ gets too drunk he might let something slip. It’s something you got nervous about every time he drank.

—-

A few hours later and the party was in full blast. All of the pogues were wasted, from both alcohol and weed. Besides you, the one who was always sober. Never liking the way either thing made you feel, you elected to be everyone’s babysitter.

“Hey baby.” JJ says quietly as he comes and sits next to you in the sand.

“J, you know you can’t call me that with everyone right there.” You playfully scold him.

“Ah hell, none of them are paying attention. We could be making out and they wouldn’t even notice.” Placing his arm around you as he says this.

“You’re probably right,” you say, smiling, “but still, until you decide you wanna tell John B, we gotta be careful. I’d hate for him to find out the wrong way.”

“Okay I’ll tell him right now.” He says in a serious tone. Your eyes widen. JJ spilling the truth while drunk beyond belief, in the middle of party, is definitely not the right way.

“Babe, no. You’re drunk. He’s drunk. Nows not the time.” You argue back, trying to talk some sense in him, but he’s already standing up.

“Hey John B!!” He shouts while walking towards him. You run after him, grabbing him.

“JJ, no. I’m serious. Not now. If you’re ready to tell him, we can tomorrow. When everyone is sober. Let’s just get you back to the house, okay?” He looks like he wants to argue back, but nods instead. However, him shouting for your brother led to John B walking over.

“Yes, JJ?” He says, slightly slurring his words.

“He was just gonna let you know I’m driving him home because he’s beyond trashed.” You say before JJ gets a chance to blurt anything out. “Wanted to make sure you had a safe way to get back when you’re done?” You add in.

“Oh! Yeah I’m good y/n. Sarah’s not drinking so she’ll drive me.” Hugging you as he says this.

You say your goodbyes and lead your way too drunk boyfriend towards the car. You were looking forward to having the house to yourself with him. All you wanted to do was cuddle on the couch, and watch some movie, that you know you guys wouldn’t be paying attention too at all. However, He barely even looks at you during the drive home and you start to feel your stomach dropping. ‘Did I do something wrong?’ You think to yourself.

When you guys get home, he goes straight into his room and shuts the door. Not even a good night kiss to you, which hurts like a bitch. You had the house to yourselves, and he’s never turned down that opportunity to be all over you. You give him a minute then go knock on his door. “J? Can I come in?”

Instead of answering, he just opens the door. He looks upset. “Why don’t you wanna tell him?” He says.

“What?” This surprises you. “I said we can tell him, babe. Just not while everyone’s drunk. We can tell him tomorrow okay?”

“No, you didn’t wanna tell him last time I brought it up either. I’m tired of hiding this y/n. I want to fully be with you, but it seems like you keep making excuses to not tell him.” He sits on the edge of his bed, running his hands through his hair as he says this. “It feels like you’re ashamed of me.” This part he says quieter, you almost didn’t hear it.

“I’m not ashamed of you, J. Not at all.” You say, moving closer to him. He stands back up, clearly still upset.

“Look, this was obviously a bad idea. We both know John B will never be okay with this, it’ll never work out in our favor, so let’s just call it quits now.” His words feeling like knives.

You stand there staring at him for minute, trying to process what he just said. “You… you wanna break up?” You ask, already feeling the tears threatening to spill.

“I don’t know if you can call it that. Were we ever really together if no one knew about us?”

You didn’t know what to say back. Of course you were together. You were ‘his girl’, as he called you. And even though you hadn’t said it before, you loved him. Instead of arguing, you just turn to leave. Meanwhile he’s realizing what he just did, instantly regretting it.

“Y/n wait..” he says. But you cut him off, “No. Don’t backtrack now, JJ. You said how you feel. You want this to end. So fine. It’s over. You won’t hear another word about this from me. We’ll go back to how we were before that stupid pole dance. You’re my brothers best friend, who’s kind of my friend as well. No more sneaking around, no more midnight visits to my room. But to answer your question, yes. We were together, even if no one knew. And not that it matters now, but I loved you, JJ.” And with that, you walk out of his room, slamming the door behind you.

“What the fuck did I just do.” He says to himself, as he falls onto his bed, putting his face in his hands. He didn’t know how, but he knew he had to fix this.

[rachetmath]

Jaune’s Thoughts

Okay guess we got to save Oscar. All I need to do is grab him and we can run. Arc time baby.

Okay but how does that stop us though? There is three of us and one of it. I think we can take it. Hell, I can get close and blow that thing to a distance with my shield. Which is by far my most affective upgrade than my last one. You and Ren both have guns, SHOOT THE DAMN THING! Better yet Yang you have bombs for Oum sake. Why are you lying around? Your aura isn't even broken. What the hell? Why are we doing this? Matter of fact after all this why is Ozpin not doing anything? He could be mad at us but both him and Oscar are in danger. What's he doing? 

Once again, another one of my ideas falls short. I should be used to it by now but damn. Also, fourth wall breaking, why didn't it do this while we were in the city. It would have been a better excuse than us standing around waiting for it to transform. 

What a minute you knew? You knew and you didn't bother to help me?! And you chose to mention this now while we're in storm far from the city! While Oscar could possibly be in danger because we allowed it! What the hell Ren?! When me and Pyrrha went with Oz then why didn't you come with us despite my orders?! Not only that you let me fight a maiden on my own! You agreed to the steal an Atlas airship! I mean- *sigh* you know what never mind. But- 

Basically, Ren old buddy go screw yourself. Also check your list of actions so far because they really aren't in sync with your words.

Wait a minute? You were talking about Ruby, right? You know your sister. Your family. The one person you have been arguing with since we got here. Please tell that's who you were talking about because if not then... .... .... Oh my god. Yang, I understand, really I do but keep your pants on. Get some help.

WOMAN, I am trying to make your job easier! I don't think Penny should be your main concern right now! Look below you! Why are making this so difficult than it needs to be?! The fact that I even bothered to mention anything to you means it affect both sides. I'm actually trying to help you!

Oh look who's talking. Seriously, how's what you're saying helping your case here Yang? Because you have been following not just Ozpin's orders but Ruby's and Ironwoods’ as well. Hell, who's idea was it to tell Robyn everything in the first place? Because from how you told us it certainly wasn't your idea.  

Okay, this will buy us time. Hold on Oscar. We're coming. Hopefully this doesn't become a waste time and our efforts considering we abandon millions of lives in Mantle. (Too bad for Jaune it was.)

Oh f*** you, you blonde... Ugh, the whole point of the plan is to get in, find Oscar and get out. We have time. We just need to look around. Hell at least I came up with a plan. I don’t see you or Ren planning s***. True most of them were failures but still. What have you done? You haven't done anything but complain all day. So, I'm sorry if this plan is too much for you Yang, but let's not forget that once this is over with, we still have help Winter and the Ace-ops. And by we, I mean me and Ren. You could've have stayed with your team. You ungrateful, one armed, simping hypocrite. Nope, you know what, bitch suits you more. 

Wow, so Summer is important to you right now. But Raven, the one who attacked us back at Heaven Academy and who you were searching for almost many years of your life means nothing. Bitch what are your priorities damn it? Who do you even value?

Ren, I know you and Oscar trying to be the wise ones here but let me explain. This woman not only betrayed our trust. She used her semblance on Pyrrha to destroy Penny which could have left Pyrrha traumatized. She tried to kill us back at Heaven. Hell, my bet she's the reason what happened to Amity Arena. What possible reason do we have to trust her? Ren you are a horrible teammate and Oscar, you don't know shit. Like have you ever lost anything before in your life. The only reason Emerald helped us was because she was already helping you. And that almost got her killed. So, no, both of you shut up!

Oh boy. Hopefully this plan doesn't go horribly wrong.

Okay. I know I shouldn't question this at all considering the amount bull crap we been doing but still. Why did we fly here? Why we were we not shot down? Doesn't Atlas have a sky radar to see upcoming ships to avoid being ambushed or shot? And considering Penny is a robot and can fly shouldn't she be detected. How advanced is Atlas because so far, I'm disappointed? Also why is my team needed to fight James? We barely survived against Neo what chance do we stand against James, a headmaster? Also, if Emerald can transform Oscar to look like Hazel and sound like him no less, then why not transform us into soldiers and sneak Penny to the vault? If she needed help, I could have amplified her while keeping Penny stabled, and James wouldn't even notice. Why are we- you know what, bring it on. At least we can knock him out and stop Nora if she tries to kill him. It'll be tough. But we can do it.

Like I said. The most affective upgrade I have every received.

This why we lost to Neo. We really need to work on team attacks.

Oh my god. We won? We beat him?! How the hell are any of these people running a school?! Let only protecting and running a kingdom?! I think I'm starting to realize why my dad didn’t think being huntsman was a good idea.

Okay so instead of standing still how about you all help me out. Ever thought of that bitch? No? Then please don't rush me. Shut your damn mouths?! *sigh* Why? Why did I agree to let her be on the team?  

*sigh* F*** all of you.

Oh no. Please. Please not her again. Once again, another plan that goes terribly wrong. 

Yeah, we definitely not repeating Heaven Academy.

Oh my gosh, Nora where are you?! What is going on out there?! You should be back now!

Okay Jaune calm down. Aright just ignore Penny and continue to heal her. I'm sure Weiss can hold Cinder off long enough for-

Weiss, what are you doing?! You can barely fight with one blade why use two? Oh, my goodness, how did any of you beat the Ace-ops?! Oh man. I-I... Oh oum, she isn't going to last. I-I don't have a choice. This is going hurt.

  So, this is it? I can't believe I'm doing this. Well, I don't have choice because everyone seems to be making dumb decisions. Well at least I might be doing something right. Pyrrha, please forgive me.

[landothemuppet]

Far Longer Than Forever (p.p)

Word count: 4737

Pairing : peter parker

Request: YES! ANON I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. The Swan Princess is one of my childhood movie and this was so fun to write. I can’t stop listenning the soundtrack now ! I’m so sorry for the time i took to write this, i had so much work to do with school. But it’s over now and i hope you will like this ! 

N/A:  First, gif not mine but i don’t know who i’m gonna credit on this, i have no clue...This is my first Peter Parker x reader and i hope you all will like it! As always, I remind you that English is not my native language. Don’t hesitate to tell me what you think of the fic! Like, reblogs to support. You can Love you all! xx

Taglist: @angeliquekalampoka @harryhollandsgirlfriend @cedricdiggorysimpp​ - if you want to be notified of all my future writings you can add yourself in my taglist : here

______

As far as you can remember, you've always hated summer. Well, it was partly a lie. You loved the sweltering heat of Queens, the cherry popsicles from Delmar's, not having to worry about what time you had to get up. You liked it but hated the idea of ​​the last two weeks of August.

 This year was no exception. You looked at your half-finished suitcase, a grimace on your face. August still meant the same thing, the same routine: having to spend the last three weeks of his vacation with Peter Parker.

summer 2009

Peter Parker had lost his parents very early on, two years ago. He had lived since then with his aunt May and his uncle Ben. It was your mother's idea to introduce you to each other. Aunt May and your mom were friends from college and luckily, they lived in the same neighborhood. Your first meeting with the one who, many years later, would become Spider-Man, took place on his eighth birthday. You were invited to the party when you weren't even at the same school. Aunt May had simply shared his fears about Peter's difficulty making friends after the trauma he had experienced. Your mother, as the perfect friend that she was, had suggested that Peter and you spend time together.

 There were 3 kids in total at that birthday party, you, Peter - obviously - and a boy from his school whose mother had forced him to be there, too. It was a fact; you were the only girl and you didn't know Peter at all. Your mother walked up to you, got up to your eye level and whispered

 "Can you be nice? May told me she invited Peter's whole class and only this boy came"

 You wanted to please your mother so you nodded before approaching the two boys. Peter and his friend were in the corner of the room, their backs turned to the adults. When you tapping the young boy on the shoulder to make you notice by him, he turned to you with a guilty expression. He had buttercream all over the corner of his mouth and he was holding a cupcake in his hand that looked delicious.

 “My Aunt May tried to bake a cake, but Uncle Ben bought some cupcakes in anticipation. Do you want one?” Peter asked you in a friendly voice

“Why? Is May's cake not good?

“Uncle Ben says that she is not very good at cooking.”

 You let out a little laugh and nodded your head before grabbing the cupcake with a smile. You thanked him and began to taste the little pastry with envy. It was so good! The buttercream was lemony, the cupcake was slightly lemony too but there was a taste you couldn't recognize. You were almost sure you had tasted it before, but you couldn't tell what it was. Peter and the other boy suggested that you go to Peter's room. He wanted to show you the LEGO set his uncle Ben had given him ahead of time and you followed them even though you weren't more excited about the idea.

 And you were right. For several minutes, you were pushed aside while the two young boys spoke spiritedly. You complained several times that you wanted to do something else but Peter didn't seem to listen to you, too excited to finally be able to chat with someone who appreciated Star Wars as much as he did.

 So you were annoyed and slightly angry with Peter but what broke the camel's back is that you started to not feel so good. Your throat was itching and you felt like your tongue was taking up a lot more space in your mouth, getting drier. Peter gave you a distracted look before his eyes widened. He let go of everything he had in his hands before running to his aunt.

 "Aunt May, Aunt May! Y/N's tongue looks like a big, desiccated steak!"

"Peter, don't be rude!" she exclaimed, shocked by her nephew’s words

"No, no come see, she has a huge tongue! I think something is wrong"

 Meanwhile, you ran into the bathroom at Peter's reaction. You weren't sure why he had looked at you like that, but you felt that a few things were wrong. In addition, you were more and more thirsty, your eyes also hurt. And that's when you saw your reflection. You were puffy, your tongue had tripled in size, hence this feeling of dryness and discomfort. It was the same with your throat. You started to cry and when May called you through the bathroom door, you fervently opened it.

 May and your mother's expression of horror was instantaneous and your mother knew exactly what was causing your condition.

 "What did she eat?"

"Nothing..." he tried to escape from being grounded

"Peter, this is very important. What did you eat?"

"We just ate the cupcakes Uncle Ben brought back"

 Ben looked at May with guilty eyes. May had put so much effort into Peter's birthday cake and she felt hurt that they had bought some pastries in anticipation. Your mother was impatiently stamping her foot. It was important to know exactly what you had eaten and above all, you shouldn't waste any more time. Peter felt completely helpless. He had only given a cupcake to his guest, that’s all. What was wrong with giving someone a cupcake?

 "What were those cupcakes flavor?" your mother said impatiently ...

"With lemon and almonds." he said in a very small voice.

 You were panicked. And the eight-year-old that you were was not coping well with stress. Plus, your feeling of being sidelined by Peter and his friend made you feel even worse. So you frowned. You couldn't see a thing but you could feel the torrent of tears escaping your cheeks. You pointed at Peter with rage

 "You tried to kill me !!!" you said somehow with your tongue as big as a little tangerine.

"It's not true!"

"Yes! You are a murderer"

 And you cried even more before your mother takes you to the emergency room as quickly as possible, apologizing for the scene.

 The week later, May forced Peter to apologize for giving you a cupcake, while justifying that he didn't know about your allergy. Your mother forced you to apologize for insulting Peter "a murderer" and accept his apologies.

 But you spent the rest of the vacation arguing with the little guy. After all, you didn't want to be friends with a murderer.

 Summer 2013

Aunt May and your mom didn't let go, however, and every summer you spent three damn weeks with Peter. The summer of your twelve years, you did not thus escape this eternal masquerade but this year, the tide had turned in your favor.

 From the start, you never liked Star Wars. It really wasn't your world. You had always preferred Harry Potter and although Peter had read the books and enjoyed them - which he would never admit to you as that would amount to listing the commonalities you had - he was much more invested in the galactic universe. But on that day, Peter had particularly bothered you. He had first replaced the sugar in your hot chocolate with salt. He kept chanting silly nursery rhymes about you and the downstairs neighbor, insinuating that you were in love: which was not the case. Yes, Peter had been extremely annoying. This time Peter was getting on your nerds by bouncing a small ball against the ceiling as you tried to read your book. Uncle Ben was in the living room watching the sport - you weren't sure exactly which one since it didn't matter to you - so you couldn't go anywhere else to be quiet.

 "Peter, stop it."

"Stop what?" he asked by bouncing the ball once more off his ceiling. You could even make out the smirk on his lips.

"That. Stop it! I can't read."

"This is nothing new."

 You threw him the first thing you found on his desk, c.e, a banana, which he easily dodged. You groaned in frustration. May and your mother didn't understand when you talked about Peter's attitude towards you. He was a calm child, far too shy at school and interested in everything, especially science. He was looking forward to entering Midletown High School in two years. You hated that nerd side about him. Secretly, you were a little jealous of him for being the smartest in the room.

 “I'm gonna hit you so hard you won't know your name anymore”

“ try me, dumbass.”

  A few minutes later, he had finally stopped throwing that damn ball, but obviously Peter's boredom was driving him to find everything the most boring thing than the previous one to drive you crazy. This time, he had simply taken his favorite lightsaber - because he had several - and he was poking your shoulder to get your attention.

 "Parker, stop!"

"Don't you want to drop this book and watch a movie?"

"What do you want to watch? Star Wars? No thanks ..."

"Oh come on, Y / N! I'm sure you'll like it!"

 He patted you on the shoulder once more with his lightsaber.

 "Do you want to play this, Parker?" you said before grabbing one of his other lightsabers

"What are you going to do? I'm sure you don't know how to fight with" he mocked.

 You have lit the glowing plastic stick and you are placed in the guard position.

 "Do you want to bet, knothead?"

 He smiled at you and attacked you first. Strangely, this is what most resembled a moment of bond between Peter and you and deep down, you appreciate it. But you also appreciate that possibility of kicking his ass after he's been so irritating. You responded to his lightsaber attacks with ease and joy. It was playful, childish, but it was one of the few times you had fun with Peter. And you really appreciate it. Your two laughs mingled, echoing in the room.

 But suddenly, as you were trying to dodge an attack from the brunet, your elbow made contact with his face. Peter's muffled cry of pain echoed and you froze. He was holding his nose with a grimace and when he took his hand away you both noticed in horror that he was bleeding.

 "Fuck…"

"Pete..." you started talking

"You blew my nose!" Peter shouted

"I did not do it on purpose!" you defended yourself.

"Of course, you do! You fucking blew my nose!"

"Peter, I swear ..."

 But Peter interrupted you by rushing out of his bedroom looking for his aunt who was in the office as she tried to file the important papers, that Ben and her had received this week. You were livid. First, because you didn't mean to hurt Peter on purpose. Second, you couldn't stand the sight of blood and it was literally everywhere. Peter was leaving trails of droplets on the floor of the apartment.

 "Aunt May?!? Y/N blew my nose! Damn, I'm bleeding!"

 After a brief stint in the ER, the rest of the stay was peaceful as you and Peter avoided each other until the end of the summer.

 Summer 2017

Peter was not the Peter you had always known.

 Since the death of his uncle Ben, the young man had closed in on himself and was even further away. Always so intelligent and discreet but much more distant. He had stopped teasing you or doing things that got on your nerves. He was minding his own business. And even though you had tried to be there for him, not denying him any of the offers he made to you during your stay ... you found him really ... overwhelmed. Which was still understandable.

 But this year was worse than the last. May told your mother that last year Peter got an internship at Stark Industry and attended a seminar in Germany but came back with a black eye. He had been acting most weirdly ever more since then. And you could have witnessed it. In the afternoon, when you were busy, and when it was too hot, when you tried to rest, Peter would disappear for hours. When you caught him sneaking back several times, he made you promise not to tell Aunt May.

 And you were starting to have theories about his nighttime getaways. After all, you were 16 and you too had started dating a few boys. But it never really worked. who knows why?! And when you wondered if Peter had a girlfriend, and who she was - he had to have one in view of all his sneaking out - your stomach twisted in a strange feeling. You didn't understand why the thought of Peter having a girlfriend bothered you so much. Over time, you had learned to be friends. It still happened sometimes that you quarreled but the events of the life made you grow up. Your parents had divorced, Peter had lost his uncle. You could tell yourself that you both had grown.

 And it was one night when Peter was sneaking back in again that you discovered two secrets.

 The first one: He was Spider-Man.

 It was around midnight when you heard the sound of the window opening. Since your childhood and this Machiavellian plan of your mother and Aunt May, you had always slept in Peter's room during holiday and more recently in his bed. The noise alerted you and you got up in a sitting position. But the only thing you saw was a foot, placed on this said window, closing it gently. How the hell was that possible?

 You were ready to scream but your gut told you to look up at the ceiling. A figure hung on it and you were paralyzed. Were you having one of those weird experiences called sleep paralysis? Delicately, silently, you grabbed the first blunt object within reach. A chemistry book that Peter seemed particularly fond of. The figure stepped on the ceiling as you were paralyzed. The form turned to land on the ground and then stood up, still with its back to you. You got up gently from Peter's bed and walked over. The man in the suit whose color you couldn't see took off his mask and you hit the air in an attempt to shoot him down. Peter turned around so quickly and blocked your gesture easily, like a reflex.

 "What the ..."

"Bloody hell".

 You both said at the same time. Your big surprised eyes mirrored Peter's. The curly man let go of your hand with an apologetic expression as you walked away from your friend. You turned on the bedside lamp before you discovered his blue and red costume. A very recognizable costume since it was that of Spider-Man. You winced, a look of judgment and incomprehension on your face. Not bothering to look at his face covered with bruises and traces of blood.

 "What the ... are you sneaking out to go to a costume party?"

"What?! No…No Y/N I’m…”

“Spider-Man? Great costume by the way” you joked.

 For a moment, you completely forgot that you just saw your friend glued upside down to the ceiling. Peter looked at you a little jaded, by the tone of your voice your guess was far from a sincere question but more of a mockery. And right now, the young man needed to be honest with you. He needed you.

 "But, I am."

"Yeah that's it. And I slept with the Winter Soldier. You can't imagine what he can do with his metal arm."

 Peter cut you off by pulling a web with his web shooter, tying your hands. The feel of the canvas was unpleasant, sticky but above all resistant. You let out a little cry of surprise, not powerful enough to pass the walls of Peter's room. Your eyes looked like two big golf balls, realizing that your friend was telling the truth.

 "Omg, You're Spider-Man" you almost spoke too loud.

"Yes and don't make me web your mouth. May doesn't have to know"

"damn, peter. What happened to your face!"

“yeah about that…I need you Y/N, please…”

  And without warning, Peter squeezed the spider in the middle of his costume, at chest level. He winced at the action revealing his bruised chest. He staggered a bit from the action, unsure of his legs and the pain in his sides fierce. You might see several bruises and cuts on your friend's body. You were having difficulty swallowing before you told him you were going to the bathroom to get what you needed. Before leaving the room, he made you promise to be discreet and not tell May anything if she ran into you. When you walk back into Peter's room, he's sitting half-lying on his bed, grimacing. You sit next to him, your heart pounding. You never noticed that he was so built. After all, as a superhero, he had to keep fit. But you couldn't deny that it intimidated you. Your cheeks were burning with embarrassment and a desire you never knew before. He had his eyes closed, as if trying to make the pain go away. And there, looking at him, you found him pretty. he was so cute that you couldn't help but run your hand through his curls to signal your presence and soothe him a bit. But Peter already knew you were there. He had heard your footsteps, he had smelled your scent, a sweet scent he had grown used to in his later years. He sighed softly, more relaxed. You started to clean the few shallow wounds.

 "Does it hurt?" you asked quietly

"Mhmm no, not really."

"Did you win?"

"Ouch..No. Not tonight."

"Sorry." you said more for your gesture rather than the fact that he didn't win the fight against the bad guys.

"No, it's perfect ... it's just a little sensitive"

 You smiled but something was wrong. A feeling you've never felt before. You've finished cleaning up Peter's wounds, but your gaze has darkened. As you were about to get up, the brunette gently grabbed your wrist to hold you back. He could hear your calm breathing and yet your heart was racing. He could feel the heat on your cheeks. He too felt that the tension was at its height. Your mind was muddled, he didn't know why, he wasn't a telepath, but he could see it, feel it. Your body betrayed your mind.

 "Y/N, what is it?"

"I..I don't know." you lied.

"You can tell me everything."

"I ... Well…Seeing you like this ... makes me ... makes me realize that I ... I'm afraid of losing you."

"You won't lose me ... I promise"

 You are ashamed of your vulnerable state. How did you go from hating this boy to having an overwhelming fear of losing him? You looked at those chocolate eyes in confusion and distress. You were now fully aware that the little neighborhood spider was none other than your childhood friend. The one you once loved to hate, tease, fight with over trivia. He was also on the youtube videos, who stopped cars with his bare hands.

 “Y/N… you won’t lose me, I promise.”

 Peter dared to walk slowly towards you and in a surge of courage, one of his hands circled your burning cheek, his lips rested on yours. The brunette had always had a crush on you without actually admitting it. After all, you had known each other since you were children but... your relationship had been rather confrontational. But for two years now, everything had changed for him. He appreciated more and more your little arguments, your teasing. His thoughts would sometimes turn darker when you lick your lips or when your fingers scratched that point behind your ear, when you were a little stressed.

 Your lips moved between them in a harmonious dance and you were now clinging desperately to Peter's slightly sweaty brown curls. Your heart was pounding at a speed close to the point of no return, reluctant to stop suddenly in the face of this overstimulation. But all good things came to an end and you slowly walked away. You bit your lip to get the taste of Peter's back. Your mind wandered, lost in the haze of rushing feelings.

 "You..you should rest ..."

 You ended up pulling away, swallowing hard. That night you didn't sleep. You have studied every facial feature of Peter, thinking of every event since your friendship. The next day, you fooled that nothing had happened. Too scared of what that kiss meant to you.

 Summer 2025

It all happened so quickly. After that summer, the summer of your kiss, you promised yourself that you understood your feelings towards Peter. You weren't going to the same high school and even though you were both on social media, you never dared to contact him. You needed time.

 But you haven't had this time. Peter became full-time Spider-Man and then the aliens came to earth, again. The threat of Thanos hovered and within moments, days, hours ... you were gone under his snap.

 When you returned to your childhood apartment, you were alone. Well, alone in front of the family who lived in this place now. The man in his forties simply believed you were a drug-hunting teenager squatter. Five damn years had passed. 5 years where your mother had a new life when you had been eclipsed. You were distraught, alone and it was by happy coincidence that you found May at the F.E.A.S.T project. It was a relief for you to find a familiar face again. She had suggested that you come and live in her new temporary apartment, allowing you to finish high school without having to move to the other end of the United States, with your mother. You declined your offer. You wanted to fend for yourself. And surprisingly, you did pretty well.

 To be exact, Mr. Delmar was looking for a student to work in his store and was kind enough to greet you in the bedroom of one of his daughters who had gone to college. By the greatest of luck, you've never seen Peter. Or rather, you managed to avoid it for an entire year. You had caught a glimpse of him one day, trying to speak Italian to get a travel adapter and a dual headphone adapter. Did you feel foolish thinking that after so long - could we consider those 5 years to be 5 concrete years? - would it still focus on the kiss you shared? After all, you got away from him after that. And then, everything went in a state of madness.

 Every time you turned on the television, you learned that elemental monsters had attacked a different country. They had first started with Mexico and then moved to Europe. Italy, Prague and then London. A certain Mysterio seemed to be taking care of this matter, but you couldn't help but think of Peter. May told you he was supposed to go to Italy. In fact, every time she went to Delmar's for a sandwich, she gave you an update on her nephew's trip. But it wasn't the craziest.

 Upon his return ... Spider-man's identity was revealed. You had watched in horror the video of Mysterio, which appeared on the Daily Buggle newspaper, accusing Peter of wanting to be the new Iron-Man. You were listening to J. Jonah Jameson falsely accusing Peter of being a murderer. You knew Peter, and there was no way he had done such an act. The video was bogus, you were sure. When you tried to reconnect that summer, you noticed Peter's girlfriend. Michelle Jones and ... and that's what kept you from approaching him. He was already supported. He had his best friend, Ned. His girlfriend, MJ. And he had May. It was enough, wasn't it?

  It was the following year, after a new incredible adventure that you met again.

You worked at the store in the evening. Mr Delmar had asked you to help him out urgently because his youngest daughter had a health problem. You accepted with pleasure. You had offered to babysit his daughter but the loving father he was wanted to be with her. And it was precisely this evening that a thug decided to steal the fund from you.

 You were at gunpoint with your hands up in the air when you saw a red and black mass fall behind the thug.

 "Hey buddy, I think the bank is across the street"

 Spider-Man tapped the thief on the shoulder and dodged a punch.

 "But I think I'll arrest you anyway if you went to the bank. You don't seem like a nice guy." Peter joked.

 You were paralyzed as your friend, your best friend if you were honest, chained or avoided them with agility. You swallowed hard, unable to move or run away. A gunshot rang out and you smelled a scared little vintage. Peter squeezed the barrel of the gun in his hand, deviating from his course. It made sense now to say that he had simply defended himself against the assault. After a few seconds that seemed like an eternity, Peter stared the offender against a fridge door, immobilizing him. He then turned to you, oblivious to your identity at the time.

 "Are you okay there?"

"Peter!"

 You didn't give him the chance to realize and you rushed into his arms, hugging him so tight to feel the comfort of his body against yours.

 "Uh, yeah, you're welcome. Cuddles are nice but ..."

 He paused for a moment and his automated eyes widened. He knew his perfume. The flowery, sweet scents that he had missed so much. Is this possible?

 "Y/N?"

 You let go of him and immediately put his mask back on. Adrenaline was controlling your actions and god damn it, you needed that touch. You kissed him, bluntly. Your lips crushed against his in impatience, in ardor, but too bad. You needed to feel it against you, to regain the feeling that you had felt, years ago. After a few seconds, you felt Peter's hands encircle your waist, pulling you closer to him. Your heart was exploding, the ardor was present in your kiss. You were even frustrated that you couldn't grab her brown curls with full hands, settling for only the base of her hair. You let out a moan before pulling away abruptly. He had a girlfriend.

 "I… I'm sorry. I… Sorry, I didn't mean… MJ… and… please don't blame me."

 Peter silenced you with another kiss, shorter this time but so good.

 “There is no MJ .... Just you and me ... Far Longer Than Forever”

 You looked at him hopefully and then burst out laughing after his words.

 "I didn't know you were so romantic, Parker"

"Shut your mouth."

"Make me"

"You are impossible."

"But obviously, you like"

 He was going to say something to nag you, he was looking for it but you caught him off guard, placing your lips on his again. You could feel his smile in the kiss and you couldn't help but do the same. Anyone living in the neighborhood present in the street would have a view of Spider-Man kissing the student cashier from Delmar. But you couldn't care less. You had waited too long and the joy you were feeling now was so intense, you didn't want to stop feeling this. It is reluctantly that Peter moved away from you apologizing for the fact that he had to go on patrol again.

 "Go save the Spider-Man neighborhood"

"Only if you promise me you'll be there when I get back."

"I was thinking of going to say goodnight to May instead ... But if you want, I have a sleeping bag in the storeroom."

"You are incorrigible .... See you later ..."

"See you later."

 You smiled, in a misty state of bliss as Peter disappeared from view. This time, you weren't planning to escape, you wanted to fall into the webs of Peter Parker. You closed the store after the police visit and headed to May's flat. It was late but with her kindness she welcomed you with open arms.

 This summer ... was the best in years but the others to come were going to be even more wonderful.