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gayandfairycore · 1 year

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Do you see right through me?

A/n: I am back! Restarting my streak of posting a fic every few months, XO kitty is my new obsession atm and I have seen no fanfics about the loml, so here’s an unrequested kitty x femreader! This doesn’t really follow everything in the show, but nevertheless I’m happy with it! As always all chaste aged up side note I am curious of your thoughts on the show? I’m sad people disliked the show as much as they did, I actually thought it was pretty alright? cringey at moments, but isn’t that all Netflix’s shows…

Summary: falling in love with kitty covey when she comes to K.I.S.S and your fellow students surprised by your care for the girl. When kitty hears Minho talk about how untouchable you were to anyone. She begins to hope that you feel for her what she feels for you.

Warnings: bullying, panic attacks, mentions of slurs but no actual use of slurs, (not so) unrequited love, homophobia, internalised homophobia, purposely getting someone drunk, daes a smidge homophobic in this fic, this fic is also not proof read because I’m lazy 😌

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

You knew she was with dae, hell you knew since the moment she met you, rambling excited about her true love, and The fact that she had flown half way around the globe for a boy.

It felt blaringly obvious that if she were to do that there was no way that she would be into women. Plus you’d never. Ever. Want to steal someone’s partner That was just wrong.

So you would watch from afar, hold on to any touches the girl would give you, and you would force yourself to feel happiness for the girl. Force down any feelings of bitterness when she would stare at dae with love in her eyes.

Kitty song-covey was just so magnetic. It was like she vibrated on a whole different plane of existence. No matter how hard you tried You couldn’t stop half of your heart from breaking whenever she told you the details about her quest to get back dae.

You felt anger burn in you, boil your blood at the audacity of the boy lucky enough to hold her heart. To cheat on her it made you feel sick.

She deserved better, you hoped that maybe better would be you… from the moment you saw her she caught your heart. The illusive y/n l/n.

If she were to ask any student at KISS she would find out the rumours of your name. You were the girl who was smoking hot and yet had never had a boyfriend, despite many boys asking you out in grandiose ways.

You were, too many, The untouchable girl.

And for a girl with such a reputation It felt embarrassing how quickly you began to feel things for her. Non platonic things.

you felt a sense of duty when you saw her slip in those cupcakes. you moved without a second thought the click of your heels on the polished floors as you bent to her level.

“Are you okay?” You’d ask the girl

No reply left her lips, with orange frosting sticky and coated to her dress, tears shone in her eyes. As she looked up at you, with a tearful gaze, her eyes glazed over in embarrassment as she searched her surroundings. Staring down the lens of a phone camera she started to think maybe coming to Korea was a mistake.

The girl begun to replay every unfortunate incident over, and over in her head. There was virtually no one good here.

From her meeting with Minho at the airport, being swerved by principal Lim about her mother, meeting yuri, meeting her long term boyfriend again in person only to find him with a different girl she felt ridiculous.

As the lenses of cameras continued to stay pointed at her, kitty appreciated your kind smile as you pushed yourself off from being knelt beside her

“hey! Nothing to see here people. Go about your merry business.” Youd announce loudly to the leering students as they stared at the girl.

Feeling exasperated when no onlookers attempted to look away you spoke again. With a demanding and expecting.

“Go on! Shoo.” Only turning back to the red head once they made hast to look away, sighing and brushing your hair from your face you took the girl by her fore arm and pulled her up.

Before you could speak daes figure had made himself comfortable at her side rambling on about how it wasn’t what it looked like.

Kitty was clearly overwhelmed, from the jet lag, and the terrible experience she endured it was almost as if the room was closing in on the girl, the crushing weight of what seemed to be her mistakes crashed over her in unkind waves.

When the girl looking around the room, daes rambles became almost muted to the girl as the murmurs in the crowd of people were the final straw for the girl. Your hand on her arm the only thing grounding her from her onslaught of tears, And embarrassment.

Breaking your hold on her arm as the girl ran out of the room you sent an angry glare to the boy standing next to you, sending him a look that says something like ‘aren’t you going to go after her??’

Shaking your head at the raven haired boy when he averted his gaze as yuris perfectly manicured hands wrapped around his arm and lead him away sending an almost apologetic smile towards yourself it wouldn’t fix this mess.

Taking a deep breath you made a move to go after the girl, walking steadfast towards the exit your steps only faltering when the murmurs of the party goers no longer pertained to just kitty.

Gossip started far too quickly for your liking, their words thick with speculation as they questioned your sexuality, slurs muffled by hands into friends ears targeted at you made you begin to feel sick.

The beady eyes of students set heavily on you. The air thick, with each click of heels on the floor, and fast beat of your heart you felt bile rise to your throat. panic set deep in your heart.

Shaking your head and taking a breath, you wanted to leave, no. You needed to leave. With every watchful, beady, speculatory eye that stared seemingly right through you.

The thought kept repeating through your head they see right through you. Slamming through the door to the corridor, kitty is of course long gone, yet you still crane your neck in hopes to catch a glimpse of her. When you come up empty you hasten your steps rushing into the stall of the girl’s bathroom setting down the lid of the toilet and stifling your sobs with your hands stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying.

You repeat it like a mantra, you know you look like a mess, but all you care about is not showing that they’ve gotten to you. Hardening your expression they will not look right through you, you won’t let them. You can’t.

But for this moment you will not hide. Leaning your head against the stall walls, you say it for the first time.

“I’m a lesbian/bisexual/pansexual/your identity”

“I know.” You hear through the door, fear spikes ypur heart jumping to your throat as Q pokes his head over the stall.

“Q? This is the girls bathroom?”

“Yeah…I just wanted to you know make sure you’re alright?”

“I’m not but- how are you in here? Minhos outside distracting the girls from entering the bathroom…”

“Really?” You mutter wiping your eyes with the back of your hand

“Yeah sweetheart, open the door and we’ll take you back to your room.”

“Okay” you chuckle, unlatching the lock the sound of minho frantically trying to come up with excuses as to why the girls toilets are off limits won’t hold out for much longer.

His voice getting increasingly higher as he scrambles to block the door, sharing a look with Q you both grab the door handle, Minhos figure stumbling backwards into your body’s, you and Q both look to the ground grabbing his hand and bursting through the crowd of girls.

Their outraged cries consisting off “was that a boy in the girls bathroom?!?” And “what was he doing in there!” All three of you begin to laugh at your heist.

All three of you trying to catch your breath outside the auditorium, dae comes walking hastily towards your group pointing a finger back in there he asks “why did I just hear one of the girls say Q was in the girls toilets?”

“And that they couldn’t enter because minho said he was hiding a giant cake in the bathroom…”

“A giant cake?” You and Q both ask the boy turning expectantly for an answer

“This feel’s suddenly very judgemental, I didn’t have to help you, you know.” Minho defends, his face hard before dropping his facade after minutes of awkward silence.

Locking arms with the boys you make hast towards the dormitory’s as a teacher locks eyes with the four of you.

“Go, go, go, go” Q pushing, at first your group speeds off with small hurried steps, getting faster until it’s an all out run, when the teacher bursts out of the door. Laughter fills the cool night air as you all rush to your dorms.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

The loud ring of your alarm clock waking you up, your roommate still not here, you began to strip yourself of your dress from the night before. Instead sporting the school uniform. Slinging your bag over your back you set off to the cafeteria to buy yourself breakfast.

Your converse scraping against the ground, as you walked the path. A familiar head of hair came into view, biting down your smile you stepped closer.

The sight of Her cannery yellow suitcase bringing a frown to your face, along with the silouette of the boy next to her. You watch in discomfort, hesitant to move, to speak, to breathe. As you watch them embrace, the expression of hesitant love on the boys face is painful. You are painfully aware of just how in love they look.

when the sight of a black car and a silhouette of a girl steps out, you Release a breath you didn’t know you were holding when yuri breaks the two apart and steals dae away. It’s almost as if things aren’t so bad, You suddenly aren’t suffocating. Your converse clad feet walk closer to the red head, calling out her name.

A smile forms on her face as she sees you “y/n! Hey..”

“Covey, it’s nice to see you.” You smile rocking back and forth on your feet. Sizing her up you speak again with a shy smile

“I’ve got to say orange is not your colour.”

your eyes glance down to her suitcase as you tease the girl, any semblance of humour fades as she catches your gaze.

“Oh! Don’t worry!” The bubbly girl reassures “I’m not leaving, atleast not anymore.” She persists smiling with her teeth.

A soft look crinkles your eyes, you’re dead serious when you speak “good im glad you’ve decided to stay here.”

A bashful smile overcomes her face as she takes a look around you both. It’s silent for a few moments. It’s not an uncomfortable silence. Throughout that minute of silence you both seem to rake your eyes over eachother.

You’re the first to break it when you clear your throat. “Um you might want to take your things back to your dorm before classes. here I’ll help you.”

You nod toward her suitcase, and before she can stop you you’re picking up her suitcase, she smiles kindly. The walk to her dorm is quiet, you don’t mention the boys dormitory. Instead you bid the girl goodbye at the door.

And just like that time begins to fly with the girl, Days turn to weeks, stray touches and friendly hugs begin to linger too long. Far too long to be friendly. Atleast from your side.

Something held you back, from telling her, her relationship (if you could call it that) with dae, the fact she wasn’t into girls, or the fear of coming out.

And as Kitty spends her time chasing after dae, you spent your time chasing after kitty, whilst she was determined to be proved right that yuri & daes relationship was fake.

A part of you hoped it wasn’t, it felt cruel to think that as you were actively helping her, but part of you wished on every stray fallen eyelash, and every shooting star you saw. That maybe she’d like you too.

Maybe your touches set her skin on fire like hers did for you. When the day of Minhos party arrives and kitty asks you to do her makeup you jump at the opportunity to be closer to her.

With every stroke of your makeup brush against the apples of kittys cheeks it felt like you were buzzing with excitement just being so close to the girl.

Wanting to savour this moment you went slower, when kitty asked the harmless question of is you could do her lipstick your cheeks almost grew just as red as the blush you applied.

Before you started to dab the red pigment on your finger, tapping it gently against her lips the pads of your fingers bouncing off of her plump lips.

You couldn’t help imagining what it would be like to kiss her, your gaze lingered on her lips as your finger slowed its movement.

Turning your gaze up to meet kitty’s eyes, only to find the girl was already staring back at you.

Q watched intently from the doorway of his room, before he broke your stare on her lips with a “everybody ready?” Both kitty and yourself breaking eye contact simultaneously you Fling yourself away from kitty. Embarrassment begins to creep up your cheeks at being caught.

“You okay Y/n? We don’t have to go if you’re feeling sick.” Kitty speaks her eyes searching yours for any semblance of a lie.

“No, no! I’m alright let’s go.”

And with that you made your way to the door Qs hand gripped your upper arm with enough force to stop you but not hurt

“Hey y/n, yknow I saw you looking at kitty’s lips. If it’s any consolation I think she likes you too.” He smiled, his voice soft and comforting.

You wanted to say ‘really? You think so?

But instead your gaze dropped to the floor and you say an emotionless “she doesn’t like me like that.”

With a sigh from Q he opened his mouth as if to say more, his words dying in his throat as you broke his hold making your way down the hall to kitty’s figure.

Side stepping the girls attempt to hold your hand, her previous excitement dropped from her face for a moment before she cleared her throat “I’ve ordered us an Uber so let’s-let’s go.”

Walking ahead of the girl in a hurry, you miss the disappointed glance she shoots Q he rubs her arm in a comforting manner.

When you arrive to rubik the air is hot and stuffy, sweaty bodies dancing and drinking when florian orders you a fruity mock tail spiking it with what you assume to be vodka you drink it in silence, florian whispering to Q if you were okay.

You block them out, opting to instead dance your feelings away when you begin to dance to whatever was playing you began to feel a sense of freedom, your dance wasn’t anything special, wasn’t even particularly graceful. But you still felt eyes on you, as you turned to look to the pair that was staring at you eagerly you instead are met with the leering face of a fellow kiss student the buzz of alcohol dimming your senses as he leans down to whisper to you.

“We’ll aren’t you just beautiful, tell me can I buy you a drink?”

You don’t think. The alcohol numbing you, all you think is what can you do to take your mind off of kitty.

And before you know what you’re doing you grip his hand and lead him towards the bar, he buys you a drink, the familiar burn of some cheap vodka dances over the back of your throat before youre gripping his hands and you’re dancing with him.

And you dance for what feels like hours, and when you aren’t dancing you’re drinking, the burn of the alcohol stings the back of your throat.

And yet you keep drinking, seemingly oblivious, blissfully unaware of the fact he’s been buying, and buying, and buying, you drinks. And yet he hasn’t once touched a sip of alcohol.

The red flags aren’t red to you anymore, YPU can’t even hear the alarm bells ringing.

Sometime through the night you come to the realisation you’ve lost your friends, you’ve danced for as long as you can your feet aching and now all you feel is sick and exhausted.

“H-hey I think I’m gonna find my friends.” You tell your date, your words slurring together as vomit rises to your throat you take your hands off of the guy.

Ready to go back to your friends, even with dulled senses you’re on high alert when his soft smile leaves his face and his gaze hardens on your chest, his hands spring out to grip your arms in one hand. With bruising force, tugging

before Q sees you begin to wobble as the boy leads you to the exit of the club he walks past Q and florian.

The boys feel an immediate sense of urgency to protect you. They ask if you want to go with this guy, when they get your shaky “no” it’s enough conformation. Florian is pulling you into him as Q is telling the guy to leave you alone.

Breathing shakily, bile rises to the back of your throat, your eyes burning, as you gaze up at the boys their sympathetic faces giving you a once over.

“I just wanted to stop thinking about her.” You cried, slamming your head into Florian’s chest

“Oh dear” florian says looking you over “find kitty.” And just like that Q’s off in search of the girl, when teachers burst through the doors of the club. Principle lim pulling the plug to the speakers.

The club grows silent before the onslaught of people start running for the door, Florian leads you toward the exit. He doesn’t mind listening to your drunk rambles as you walk. Your legs unsteady, your mainly being supported by florian.

Taking the water he hands you with gratitude you take slow sips. Time seemed to barely move, as your memory felt funny. One moment you were in the club a flurry of lights disorienting you the next in your dorm bed room.

Cracking an eye open and groaning from the splitting headache behind your eyes you sluggishly roll out of bed.

Opening the bedroom door Qs figure slouched over the arm of the couch as minhos making coffee in the kitchen.

“Hey, y/n. We have Saturday detention by the way. Since someone got the party busted.”

Watching kitty on the stage her hair pinned up, you think she looks gorgeous in traditional clothing, adoration clear on your face.

Time seemingly slows as you watch her perform, with each movement of the fan your stare is still looking at the girl.

Conflict I’d happening on the stage, you can’t hear what they’re saying but you’re already concerned for the girl. Your heart leaps to your throat as you watch her trip.

Loud cracks of fireworks fill the gymnasium, time stops slowing, your ears block out the sound of scampering feet trying to exit the gym. you’re fully competent and you know what you’re doing when your shoes squeak against the floor you’re running toward the panicked girl.

Ripping off your jacket you throw it over the girls flaming skirt, easing her to the ground as you do so.

Kitty is panicked, frantic breaths leaving in puffed out pants, looking up at her through your lashes, your heart clenches at the sight of her scared face.

“Hey! Hey! I got you, you’re alright.” You state, your fingers that were previously patting wildly at the skirt, stop.

“Th-thank you.” Kitty whispers gratefully, her body visibly relaxing, yet She still looks scared with an emotion you can’t quite make out swimming in her eyes.

you make a move to comfort her more but your hand still’s outstretched towards her when dae comes rushing to her side.

His eyes wild, as he asks the girl if she’s okay, he lets out a breath when she tells him you helped.

“Yknow I would’ve helped her-“ nodding at his words, you feel guilty that you don’t quite believe the boy.

“I know. but I got here first.”

“I’m here now.” He exclaims coldly, his eyes nonverbally telling you to leave, bowing your head you look at kitty,

“I’m just glad you’re okay” and with that you turn and make your way of stage, meeting up with Minho by the door.

A knowing look on his face prompts you to ask “what’s that look for?”

“Nothing! No nothing. Aside from the fact you practically raced up there to save her…”

“You didn’t even think you just…went.”

Trying to no avail to hide the blush dusting your cheeks you cross your arms over your chest “well what’s it too you? I mean you’re famously anti kitty.”

“Mm you’re right, i don’t think she’s right for dae. I think she’s right for someone else…” he trails off making eye contact with you.

He sends you a comforting smile. His eyes flicker to dae as he marches up to both Minho and yourself. slamming Minho into the wooden wall dae sneers out “a you call yourself my friend” In Korean.

Minhos confusion seeps out as he asks “what’s all this about?!?” Also in korean, dae sees red slamming the boy harder into the wood before continuing “don’t pretend like you don’t know!”

Looking frantically around you, you decide to try and pry the boy off calling out a:

“What are you doing dae? let him go!” You cry pulling at the boys arm to get him to loosen his grip. His eyes hard as he turns to you, flinging his arm out, your feet falter at the abrupt movement when he pushes you off him His push sending you colliding with the gymnasium floor. Your hands slap against the ground, tears well in your eyes at the sting of your hands. and the bruise forming on your butt.

Despite your efforts Dae is still glaring at the boy infront pf him, Seemingly not caring that his shove sent you to the floor. “Dae, stop. Stop it! it’s not min Ho!” Kitty cries, “this has nothing to do with him”

“What you’re gay?” Dae laughs, sparing a glance at your form on the floor, Confusion and realisation dawn on the boys face before he mutters an apology to Minho.

sparing a hateful glance toward you on the floor, looking kitty in the eyes, the girl is clearly distraught in her hanbok. Her makeup runs down her cheeks as embarrassment boils. Dae shakes his head as he bursts from the door to the room.

Minho does a double take before giving you his hand, asking tentatively “are you okay?” His eyes rake your figure trying to asses the damage.

“I’m fine, I’m okay.” You stress putting yours hands in the air in attempt to reassure the boy.

“Good, good.”Minho mutters, clearly not believing you in the slightest. pulling you up, He shares a look with kitty watching as she diverts her gaze.

You shoot a glance to the red head, as Minho leads you away. Your concern for the girl outweighs any confusion about dae.

The cool air stings your face as Minho leads you outside, sitting you down on a concrete seat, “are you okay?” He asks.

Sighing shakily you look him in his eyes “yes-“

“And don’t lie to me.” He cuts you off, pointing his finger, he nods for you to continue his hard serious face still there.

“No? I mean! Ugh I really like her? But she clearly likes someone else…and she still has dae. And I don’t know what I’m supposed to do?”

“I’m failing pretty much all of my classes, and I’m gay. But I can’t be.”

“Oh you sweet thing.” Minho says pulling you into his chest, running his hands over your head as sobs break from your chest, wetting the boys suit.

“You know it’s okay to be afraid of your feelings for someone, but I can see it Kitty likes you, Not dae.”

“How can you be so sure?”

“God are you really so oblivious?!?” Exasperation reeks from the boy as he stared at you.

“She’s in love with you, you didn’t see it but her face when you saved her was enough to make dae realise she doesn’t like him anymore.”

“Oh my god. That’s what that was?”you question, your stomach dropping in anticipation. Vomit rising to your throat,

“I have to go!” You call breaking from Minhos hold,

“Another job well done” Minho smiles, shaking his head at the wet patch on his suit.

Your feet slam against the ground as you run to find the girl, bursting back into the gym she of course isn’t there.

Doubling over breathing heavily, panic grips your chest, as you look around. Closing your eyes you feel defeated.

“If you’re looking for kitty she’s in the dorm.”

Your eyebrows furrow, as you turn to face dae, an apologetic and yet reserved expression takes over his face.

“I-what? How did you-“

“It’s pretty obvious… no offence. But hey I’m happy for you.” The boy smiles, before turning to go

“How do you know she’ll like me back?” You whisper, daes steps halt as he turns to look at you.

“I’ve seen the way she stares at you when you aren’t looking, she used to look at me like that…” he looks sad as he remarks the girl’s feelings. but when he smiles at you with a watery smile and the nod of his head it’s his way of giving you the go ahead. And suddenly everything lightens up, the weight on your shoulders suddenly dissipates as you accept daes consent to make a move.

To let yourself be happy.

So you do, turning around you jog up stairs, and dodge various people as you make your way through the crowds of students in the halls.

Making your way to the boys dorm had become like a ritual, it was no longer buzzing with joy and laughter as a game or movie was in full swing Minho cooking something in the kitchen or rambling about the films his mum was in.

Instead the warmth in your chest was no longer there, You suddenly feel apprehension, as you stand there, your hand hovering over the door handle, you question if kitty will want this, if you should just turn around and couch surf until you go home.

When the door swings open to a sad kitty, in comfortable clothing, her hairs a mess, and she’s wearing an old ratty tshirt, but she still looks at gorgeous as ever as she stares up at you.

“Y/n?” She asks, her eyes glancing you up and down.

“Hi.” You whisper, bringing your hand up to caress her cheek, you ask her “can I kiss you?”

When she nods it’s all the permission you need, before you place a passionate yet gentle kiss on the girls lips, you pull away when the girl doesn’t move to kiss you back.

Only to be pulled back in my kittys soft hands against both of your cheeks pulling you in her lips crash against yours, the kiss isn’t perfect the techniques all wrong, and it’s sloppy, but you can’t help caring because you’re kissing her.

Tangling your hands in her unruly hair, you smile into the kiss.

When kitty pulls back, you look alarmed the girl feels a sharp guilt at breaking from the kiss, the pads of her fingers run over your cheek gently as if she is afraid you’ll break. The girl takes a breath in

“I’ve begun to learn a lot on Korea, about my mother, my friends, myself. And more Often then not my friends helped me realise things.” Kitty breaths she looks almost afraid to speak as she collects herself you can visibly see the cogs turning in her head as she speaks.

“And well, Q made me realise my feelings. They were confusing, and fun, and scary? But I think i really like them?”

“I think I really like them as well.” You smile, placing a kiss on her lips before continuing “And hey remind me to thank Q for all this.”

“No need you two, this is all the thanks I need.” Breaking from her hold you both turn to face your roomates their smug (mainly Minho) proud faces staring at you both.

“You know For a match maker you’re a bit oblivious.” Q speaks before planting himself on the couch

“I- what do you mean?” Kitty exclaims offended

“Kitty I’ve been in love with you since the moment I saw you...”

“WHAT!” Kitty exclaims in outrage “but- no- I’m supposed to know these things!!” The girl slumps over dramatically

Sharing content looks with your fellow roommates, none of you can hold it in bursting out in laughter.

It made you realise how much you wish you could stay in this moment forever before tomorrow comes and everything good hangs in the balance…

For now, you all were happy.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･

#xo kitty #xo kitty x reader #kitty covey #Katherine covey x reader #kitty covey x reader #to all the boys x reader #to all the boys trilogy #x fem!reader #anna cathcart #sang heon lee #choi min young #netflix xo kitty #xo kitty x fem!reader #wlw yearning #wlw #sapphic #gayness

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something-tofightfor · 1 year

Text

All I Ever Needed

Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader (Just Too Good To Be Gone pairing)

Word count: 12,330

Rating: NSFW / E. You’ve been warned.

Warnings: Spoilers for the end of TLOU / TLOU season 1 - and the timeline that follows before the 2nd game.

Summary: While on patrol and looking for the source of a distress call received by Jackson, you and Joel take a much needed detour.

Author’s Note: Six and a half months later, and here we are with a Joel story that I’ve been picking away at the entire time. Sorry I stepped away for so long but now that this is done ... all bets are off.

This takes place just before TLOU 2′s timeline begins, and if you’re familiar with that, you’ll understand the significance of something mentioned in this story.

This was directly influenced by conversations I had with @stealyourblorbos, who encouraged me by providing some of the most *appealing* Joel visuals... so I hope you enjoy it, Jules.

Fun fact: the location mentioned in this chapter actually exists, but the way it looks today is much different than it was in 2013 - see the link on the masterlist for more info!

To get alerted when I post new chapters/stories, follow @somethingtofightfor-shares and turn on post notifications - you can also ask to be added to my tag list (link in bio or at the top of my taglist reblog)

Just Too Good To Be Gone Masterlist

Song Suggestion: “Enjoy The Silence” by Depeche Mode

“We should find somewhere to spend the night.”

Looking to your left, you watched as he eyed the road in front of you, his horse’s reins held tightly between his gloved fingers. As always, Joel was entirely focused on what he was doing, the man on alert despite the fact that his posture was loose and you hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary in hours. Not hours, days.

“There are some houses at the 89/191 split, but a lot of ‘em are on the other side of the river, and I’m not sure we can cross.”

He turned his head to look at you, the man’s eyes sliding over your face and then down before they rose once more. “We just need a roof and some dry wood to build a fire. We’ll find something.” You knew that he was right - that even if it was little more than the hollowed out husk of a gas station or one of the small houses, you and Joel would make do together - because you always did. “That leaves what, ten miles to get back tomorrow?”

“A little under fifteen, actually.” Shivering at a sudden gust of wind, you nodded. “There should be a place for the horses there, too, just to keep them from being in the open.” He nodded once, in reply, a knit hat pulled down low over his ears. With a quiet click of your tongue, you eased your horse to a slightly faster gait, Joel following suit as he caught up.

You were out on a long patrol, but that was nothing new for either of you. Tommy and Maria felt comfortable sending you further south than anyone usually went - Jackson to Bondurant, the two of you searching for the source of a call for help that had come in over the radio a few days earlier.

You’d found nothing, despite a thorough search of the area. After a day of exploration, you decided to head back, armed with the knowledge that even though you hadn’t found anyone, all of the bridges and roads you’d traveled were still intact, even after the brutal winter you’d experienced.

It was still cold - the thick blanket of snow on the ground just beginning to melt in places, ice in patches making it important to carefully lead the horses each steep of the way. But the company was good, and you weren’t about to complain.

Especially when Joel broke the silence of the ride with quiet humming and occasionally sang a few verses from the songs, too. Especially since you knew that when you did stop for the night, you’d have the warmth of him to lean into until morning, the two of you trading off shifts of wakefulness and sleep until it was time to head back to Jackson.

It had been four days on the road together. Even though being near him in the quiet of Wyoming’s rolling hills and valleys with the Tetons as your backdrop wasn’t much different than being with him in Jackson, you liked it.

You liked the quiet and calm. You liked the solitude. You liked the fact that it was just you and Joel, and that while he could have had anyone else go with him on the patrol, he’d asked for you.

It wasn’t a surprise, but it still made you feel good about yourself - about the fact that he considered you an asset to the assignment, that he trusted you to take care of yourself and him if necessary.

And you knew that there was more to it, too. You knew that if you had found the people that you’d picked up the call from, he’d wanted a face friendlier than his to be present - someone that would inspire trust and decrease concern in strangers in a way that even after a few years in Jackson, Joel couldn’t.

But the point was moot because you’d found nothing. Even though the two of you had been wary of the distress call being a trap, it didn’t seem like it had been. You hoped that whoever had called had found safety, and that they were alright - that you wouldn’t be finding bodies during further patrols after the spring thaw. They probably aren’t, you admitted to yourself as you passed a sign for Hoback Junction, the tiny town coming into view on your left.

Neither of you spoke as you bypassed the first section of it, Joel raising one arm and pointing to your right and the remains of a gas station and market. You’d stopped there a few times in the years before you’d known Joel, and it didn’t look any worse than it had then, aside from the increasingly weathered appearance of long abandoned vehicles.

A few minutes later, Joel dismounted, telling you to stay on your horse, his voice quiet enough that you barely heard it. He handed over the reins and reached for the gun he kept tucked into his waistband, but you weren’t worried. Maybe we can sleep upstairs.

You eyed the building as he advanced toward it. He kept the gun held loosely in one hand, his steps careful and measured. The market had been on the bottom level, and though the contents were long since gone and cleared out, there were a few rooms upstairs that had proven useful in the past when it came to staying there overnight out of necessity.

They offered little more than a bed and a roof, but the heat from the two of you and your sleeping bags would keep you much warmer than being outside would, even if a fire wasn’t possible. And we wouldn’t have to keep watch because we could just drag the mattress against the door.

The twinge of unease you felt as you watched Joel’s broad shoulders disappear through the main doors turned into a quiet anxiety for the long moments he was gone. The feeling buzzed in your chest and gave you the urge to reach for your gun, too. But when he reappeared a few minutes later, his weapon lowered, you knew that you could finally relax. “All clear.”

He rolled his shoulders out as he headed back for you, pointing over his shoulder with one thumb. “Looks like someone already tied up horses in there at some point, because there’s a good place for it. We can walk over an’ get some water from the river before feedin’ ‘em.”

“OK.” Nodding, you gestured toward the building with your chin. “Anyone been in there recently? Maybe those people that -”

“Nope.” He stuck a hand on his hip, shaking his head. “Everything was dry and closed up. Took the stairs and checked on the second floor, too. Nothin’. If they were here, the cleaned up real good after themselves.” He paused and then frowned. “You’re shivering.”

“It’s barely spring, Joel. Wasn’t so bad when we were moving, but now…” You shivered again, wrinkling your nose. “Come on. We should get these horses stowed while we’ve still got light.”

And so you did, Joel taking his reins back and leading his horse ahead of yours and through the doors, the two of you working in silence to get them situated before Joel spun in a slow circle, chewing on his lip.

“I’m gonna go get that water. Looks like there’s a place by the window to make a fire, we can open it a little to let the smoke out. Saw a woodpile out back, if you wanna use it.” Telling him that you would, you waited until he’d left the room again to move, feet carrying you out through the back door and to the wood he’d mentioned.

You chose the driest pieces you could find and carried them inside, setting them in the location he’d pointed out. By the time he got back, you had a fire ready to go, kindling stacked and arranged in a way you hoped would quickly catch.

Joel stepped next to you and then crouched down, hands hanging between his bent knees as he stared at your construction. But for long moments, he didn’t say anything. “Joel?” I know what that look means. Turning your head toward him, you narrowed your eyes. “What did I do wrong?”

“Can I show you somethin’?” He met your eyes, a genuine kindness in them that he didn’t often expose to others. “Just one little -”

“Yeah.” Your lips twitched as you fought back a smile. “Of course.” He nodded once, drawing your attention with the extension of one finger.

“You didn’t leave enough space for air flow at the bottom. Somea these tiny little pieces? The twigs? If you stick ‘em between the other ones, and point ‘em to the middle, you open it up more. Give the flame a chance to breathe.” He repositioned the wood as he spoke, the man’s fingers nimbly working to build up the bottom layers.

You liked watching him do things, liked watching him show you what he knew, and though the gesture would probably have annoyed you coming from anyone else, from Joel it didn’t. Because he’s not making the point he can do it better. He’s making sure I know what to do next time. “There was a cushion back behind the counter. It looked like there was some cotton inside.” Jerking your head to the right, you sighed. “I probably should have grabbed some of that for -”

“Hey.” He turned his head to look at you before shaking it back and forth. “We would have been able to light what you built, no problem. I just -”

“I know.” You reached out, squeezing his bicep through the thick jacket he wore. “And I appreciate that, Joel. Thank you for showing me.” He watched as you stood up, slowly reaching for you before his hand wrapped around your calf - just above the top of the boot you wore. Then, he squeezed, the man giving you a single nod before letting go. “Let me see if that cotton’s going to help.”

He stayed quiet when you turned and headed for the counter, smoothly rounding it and eyeing the torn seat cover. Fluffy strings of filling spilled out from it as though something had attempted to pull them free. Mice, maybe. Or squirrels. You lifted the whole thing, but before you turned to head back to Joel, something else caught your eye. Hmm. Transferring the pillow to one hand, you reached out with the other, fingers lifting the folded sheets of paper as you picked it up.

“Take a look at this.” You spoke when you’d lowered yourself back to the floor next to him, setting the cushion down. “Remember going to rest stops and travel plazas before, Joel? All the maps and brochures for stuff you could do wherever you happened to stop?” You grinned as you flipped the tri-fold open, eyes scanning the faded pictures and words on the pages. “Looks like this place is no different.”

“Yeah?” He was tucking small tufts of cotton between the branches, jaw set in an expression you read as concentration. “What kinds of things could you do here before the world went to hell?”

“There are apparently some hot springs down the road to the west.” Tracing over the faded paper with one finger, you smiled. “Says here winter’s the best time to go, too, because everything around them is frozen, but the heat from the water keeps them exposed.”

“That so?” He cleared his throat. “We had a place like that at home. Didn’t have to worry about it freezin’ though. And I guess it wasn’t really hot, kids used to swim there in the summer.” He smiled, the man’s lips briefly curving upward. “Me an’ Tommy would take Sarah.

The name slipped from his lips much more easily than it used to - the man’s memories of the girl still associated with pain and sadness, but also tinged with genuine nostalgia. Now it’s Ellie’s name he tries not to say.

“This says that the water in these is… was about 104, so who knows what it’s like now, or if they still exist, but that definitely would have been nice.” Reading through the information, you shrugged. “Here.” You held the brochure out, waiting until he’d taken it from you to reach for the lighter that was zipped into the pocket of your jacket. “Wonder what else is -”

He stopped you with one hand on your arm just before you touched the flame to the cotton, Joel saying your name quietly. “Don’t. Not yet.”

“Why?” Cocking your head to the side, you blinked in confusion. “We just -”

“We’ve still got plenty of light.” Joel sighed, frowning as he eyed the map. “And this looks like it’s only a couple miles down the road, if you want to go and take a look.”

“Really?” Inhaling sharply, you widened your eyes. “Is that safe? We’d be -”

“We haven’t seen anyone or anything in three days aside from those animal tracks. River’s on one side, hills on the other. I think…” He nodded. “I think I can watch your back for long enough for you to climb in for a couple minutes if you want.”

“I don’t have a bathing suit, Joel.” Leaning in, you raised an eyebrow. “So you’re going to have to keep your eyes wide open.”

In another move that wasn’t quite a surprise, Joel closed the distance between you, the man��s mouth covering yours for long moments before he pulled away and turned his head so that he could speak into your ear.

“Gonna be a tough job, but I think I can handle it.”

—

The trip from the market to the springs took just over an hour on foot, you and Joel talking quietly almost the whole way.

It felt almost normal - your conversation oscillating from the remainder of that patrol to what would happen in the coming weeks in Jackson. You brought up the annual spring dance that was set to take place two weeks later, and Joel questioned you about the greenhouses and the crop rotation that would start almost immediately after that.

You talked about everything but Ellie. Joel changed the subject when she came up and so you didn’t linger on it, though you barely managed to hide your wince at the sound of hurt in his voice.

It’ll get better. You sighed as you reached for his gloved hand, squeezing it tightly. It has to. The girl’s silence toward him had extended for much longer than you’d anticipated it would, though you couldn’t blame her for it. And you’d spoken to her often since their falling out, Ellie not often pushing you for information about the man, but hinting that she wanted to know every now and then. So you knew that somewhere, deep down, the possibility of their reconciliation existed - no matter how far into the future the girl continued to let the hurt linger. It’s gotta be on their terms. I can’t force it.

“So what are we lookin’ for?” Joel said your name again, gesturing in front of you with his free hand. “Brochure said a boat ramp, but we’re probably not going to see that under all this snow.”

“There was an actual pool, too.” You turned your head to look across the river, squinting. “But it said that closed before 2012, and I think it’s on the other side of the river, anyway.” What are we looking for? “So I guess we just look for open pools of water close to the -”

“Like that?”Joel stopped, pointing. “Looks like there’s some steam comin’ up off of that right there.” He was right - and so you stopped, too, the smile on your face growing. “That’s bigger than I thought it would be.”

The pool was about fifteen feet long and roughly six or seven wide, the water clear enough that you could see the rocks on the bottom. The sight of it warmed you thoroughly, steam curling up from the surface and telling you everything that you needed to know about how warm the water still was. It’s going to feel so good.

“Come on.” You tugged on his hand, carefully beginning to make your way down the slope and toward the exposed pool. “It looks like some of these rocks are flat and dry enough that we can put our stuff on them and it won’t get wet.”

“Or, I can hold your clothes.” He stopped when you did, the two of you mere inches away from the edge of the water. “Since I’m not -”

“Joel, you’re going in.” You exhaled, turning to face him. “You said it yourself, there’s been nothing but those tracks this whole time, and that was miles to the south. Nothing that can hurt us is going to cross that river before we see it, and look.” You pointed. “There’s an overhang that keeps us hidden from the road. We’d hear anyone and anything coming long before they see us. And…” Biting down on your lower lip, you winked at him. “I’m pretty sure your aim wouldn’t be worse because you’re not wearing clothes.”

It took him a second, but he laughed at your words, the lines appearing at the corners of his eyes and the slump of his shoulders telling you that there was no way he was going to argue with you. Good, because he needs this. “You get in first.” He took a breath to steady himself, gesturing at the water. “Tell me how warm it is.”

As much as you wanted to let him go first, the steamy air and low noise of the rushing water convinced you otherwise. So with no complaint or protest, shrugged off your backpack and unzipped your jacket, laying both down on the rocks behind you. From there, you reached for your sweater and pulled it - along with your undershirt over your head, dropping those onto your coat as you shivered in the chilly air, nipples stiffening into peaks beneath the thin material left covering you.

Joel didn’t look away when you tugged off your tank top, too, tossing it behind you and onto the other clothing before you sat down on one of the larger rocks, unlacing your boots one at a time. “Thought you’d be wearin’ more layers.” He finally spoke as you removed your socks, balling them up and stuffing them into the sleeve of your jacket. “It’s cold out here, and -”

“I have another shirt in my bag, but it hasn’t been that cold, Joel.” Looking up at him, you smiled. “I can guarantee that you’re not wearing anything more than I am, so I don’t … I don’t know what point you’re trying to make here.” He grumbled at your words, barely concealing a smile, and when you stood again, easing your jeans down and over your hips, you watched as he stared at you, the man’s tongue dragging slowly over his lower lip. I love it when he looks at me like that.

Making sure your jeans weren’t trailing in the water, you stepped forward and groaned at the feeling of the warmth when you sunk your feet into it. “Warm?” His voice - low and deep from behind you - made you turn, Joel’s eyes focused on your face. “Looks like it.”

“It is.” Stepping deeper into the pool, you were careful not to slip and fall, relishing the curve of the smooth stone beneath your feet. It had been two days since you’d removed your boots, and when you closed your eyes at the way it felt to wiggle your toes through the gently moving current, you didn’t bother stopping the sigh that escaped you. “It’s hot Joel. This is going to feel amazing.”

Turning around when you reached the far side of the pool, you faced him again. You locked eyes before you lowered yourself into a sitting position, hands stretched out on either side of you for balance. Oh, this was a good idea.

The water came up to mid chest, and at the way it felt - the first time you’d truly been enveloped in so much warmth in nearly twenty years, you actually moaned, closing your eyes. Holy shit, this is… amazing. “I could watch you like this all day.” His voice forced your eyes open again, and you found that Joel was still standing in place, arms crossed over his chest. “Goddamn.”

The need in his voice went straight to your belly, white-hot and focused. With a sigh, you stretched your legs out in front of you, keeping your attention on him. “You gonna give me something to watch, too?”

He didn’t hesitate, unzipping his jacket and letting it drop to the ground next to his pack, his sweatshirt and undershirt following. Your eyes were drawn to the exposed skin of his upper body, shoulders dropping in another contented sigh at the sight of him. Doesn’t matter how many times I see him like this, it’s always better than the last. Joel dropped his hands to his sides and took a deep breath, holding it.

You watched as he flexed his fingers, wrist moving back and forth a few times with nervous energy. Before Joel could speak, you beat him to it, lifting one hand and holding your palm out and toward him. “Bring the gun with you if it’ll make you feel better.” He visibly relaxed and nodded, reaching for his waistband and removing the firearm before setting it down on the rocks and undoing his belt and the button of his jeans.

“This feels wrong.” He bent over, untying his boots and then using his right foot to anchor the left while he pulled it free. “Feels dangerous. It feels like -”

“It feels like it’s going to be fine, Joel. No one’s going to sneak up on us. We didn’t even see tracks in the snow from people. We’re the only ones that have been anywhere near here since before it snowed last.” He lowered himself to the ground as you spoke, pulling his socks off and stuffing them into his boots before easing to his feet again, hands pausing at the waistband of his jeans. “C’mon, Miller. It’s nothing I haven’t seen before.”

“Gimmie a minute.” He sighed, closing his eyes - and then pushed his pants down to his ankles in one smooth movement before stepping out of them and kicking them backwards. The denim joined the pile of other clothing he’d just removed and left him standing in front of you in only a threadbare pair of boxers, the elastic settled low on his hips. “If this ain’t warm, I -”

Oh, it’s warm alright. He stopped speaking though, as soon as he dipped a single foot into the pool, his jaw dropping as your grin widened.

You watched him relax - watched the way his posture loosened the deeper he got into the water, the man only opening his eyes when he twisted his body backwards to reach for his gun.

But when he got to your side of the pool, reaching out to set the gun down atop a flat rock that was easily within reach, he closed them again as he turned his back to the river and sat down. The water wasn’t quite as deep where Joel was, and as you watched his torso disappear beneath the surface, the cotton of his underwear clinging to his thighs, you realized that it didn’t matter. Because this is probably the warmest thing he’s had in just as long.

Joel settled in and stayed quiet, jaw working as his breaths evened out - and you didn’t want to break the moment.

Instead, you stared at him, watching as Joel slouched down in into the water, the liquid creeping further up his chest the more he stretched out. “Holy shit this feels good. Last time I was in water this warm was … shit, it was the shower I took the day of …” He trailed off, opening his eyes and looking over at you. The day of the outbreak. “Damn.”

Your heart ached for him and for the look in his eyes - one of barely muted anguish - but it was gone only seconds later, replaced with an easy expression that you were much more used to. He wants to move past it? Ok. “Well it definitely wasn’t at your place in Jackson.” Giving him an exaggerated wince, you went on. “It would take a long time to boil enough water to fill up your tub.”

“Sorry that my 30 year old water heater can’t compete with this.” He lifted one hand, indicating your surroundings. “I’ll get right on that. Can’t have the princess gettin’ cold, or -”

You interrupted him with a barking laugh, eyes squeezed shut and your head tilted back. After only a few seconds Joel’s laugh joined yours - and his hand shot out beneath the surface of the water, fingers encircling your wrist and pulling you forward.

You realized what he was doing before he’d moved you far, and moments later you were tightly pressed against his side and chest, Joel releasing your wrist so that he could wind an arm around you. “What’s so damn funny?” He mumbled the words into your ear, his warm breath a shocking difference from the way the steam-filled air felt against your skin. “Are you laughing at me?”

“I am.” You settled against the rocks, sighing. “Getting naked in the snow, calling me princess, making an actual joke… who are you and what have you done with Joel Miller?” You got a quiet chuckle in return, the man’s chest vibrating beneath your palm. When you tilted your head back and pressed your lips to the underside of his jaw, you went on. “I like you like this, Joel. I wish it could happen more.”

“I do, too.” He tightened his arm around you, taking a long breath and holding it .”And maybe it can.” There was another pause and in confusion, you sat up straight, staring at him. What? “We’ve been in Jackson for what, almost four years?”

It didn’t seem like that long - and at the same time, if felt like he’d been in your life forever, the time you’d spent in Jackson before he’d arrived a period of loneliness that grew hazier in your memories by the day. Four years. “Mhmm.” Rubbing your fingertips over the skin of the center of his chest, you nodded.

“Four years is long enough to keep myself from believin’ it’s real.” He sighed, shifting next to you and sinking a few inches deeper into the water. “It feels… nice to laugh. I like not lookin’ over my shoulder every time I walk out of my house. Not worryin’ about Ellie all the time is … I mean I still worry, but…” He paused and then spoke again, voice low. “It’s not like when we were on the road, or when we first got to Jackson. I wish it all hadn’t happened like it did, but …”

“Holding onto a secret like that … like those will wear you down quick, Joel. I get it.” Your fingertips traced over the front of his shoulder, following the divot in his skin from an old scar downward. “But what do you mean by saying that maybe it can happen?”

“Maybe it’s time to stop punishin’ myself. For Nadine. For Sarah. For Tess. Salt Lake. Hell, even for Ellie. It ain’t fair to me and it sure as hell isn’t fair for you to have to -”

“Joel.” You sat up straight, your hand settled on his side. Waiting until he was looking at you, you took a deep breath before continuing. “This isn’t about what’s fair for me. I told you I wanted you no matter what, and however you’d let me have you, before I knew any of it, and I meant it. This is life now, and you -”

“Shouldn’t have to be.” He reached up with his right hand, the shattered glass on his watch catching the gradually fading sunlight. “I promised to do right by you, and I intend to keep that promise.” You already are. Drawing your lower lip back and between your teeth while you waited, you sighed. “I’m gong to try. Try real hard to stop overthinkin’ and worryin’ so much. Whatever time I… we have left, I’m gonna make the most of it.”

He didn’t have to say any of it to you, and the fact that he was meant a great deal. He’s not saying it because he thinks I need to hear it, he’s saying it because he needs to make it real for himself. “If that means me getting to hear you laugh more, Joel?” Leaning in, you dragged your nose alongside his and nodded. “And see you smile more? Then good. That’s what I want, too.” He nodded, too, tilting his head enough to press his lips to yours.

The steam rose around you, the gentle current of the water flowing over your legs and around your bodies. For long moments you and Joel stayed connected - the kiss lingering but not deepening, the movement of his mouth against yours purposeful as he kissed you thoroughly.

You loved the moments like that with him - and were thankful that over the previous year and a half, they’d been coming more and more often - Joel’s affection for you more out in the open, though it was still mostly reserved for when you were behind closed doors or among friends.

After telling you the truth about Salt Lake City, he was also gentler - almost more steadfast in the way he treated you. The days when he’d rebuffed your emotions and tried to ignore his, pushing you away whenever he got the chance had all but ended. And it’s… better this way. He’s better this way, even though it cost him so much.

He still punished himself for what had happened - all the way back in Texas and as recently as with Ellie. But despite that, he’d stopped taking it out in the way he approached being with you and treating himself - and it was very apparent that deciding to make the effort had been a life-altering decision for him.

You nipped at his lower lip and then pulled away, sighing. “You’re supposed to be relaxing, Joel. These pools are great for your muscles and circulation. The heat’s going to make it so that it doesn’t feel like we’ve been on horses for the last couple days.”

“I am relaxin’.” Joel tilted his head back and rested it against the rocks behind him, turning slightly toward you. “But it’s kinda hard when you’re right here next to me.”

“Well then.” You settled back, putting some distance between you and shrugging. “My apologies.” His lips twitched, the man’s smile brief, and then he nodded once and closed his eyes, chest rising and falling as he took in deep breaths.

The significance of his closed eyes wasn’t lost on you. It was another instance of Joel trusting you to keep an eye out, of the man’s understanding that he was safe around you. And you are. I’d never let anything happen to you.

You watched him for long moments, eyes on the way he looked in the water - the snowy expanse behind him along with the rushing sound of the river contrasting with how warm and cozy he looked, how quiet the rest of the world around you was.

He had his left arm out of the water. That hand rested on the lip of the stacked rocks to keep his watch dry. Even though he occasionally tapped those fingers in a random pattern, low sighs escaping his lips, he didn’t speak and neither did you.

Arguably, Joel needed the rest and comfort much more than you did. Sure, he’d suggested the walk to the springs for your benefit, you were glad he was enjoying it, too. Because he deserves good things. It was a nice break in your scouting mission, and despite the fact that you knew you couldn’t stay for long, you wanted him to enjoy the time that the two of you had in the bubbling pool.

The water was warm - the steam and heat lulling you into a dazed comfort that made you press yourself back and against the rocks, eyelids drooping as you gazed over at the man next to you. Even the smell of sulfur dulled as the time passed and you got used to it, your deep breaths slowing as the water soothed your tired muscles.

His hand reached for you under the water after a few minutes, palm sliding over the back of it before he curved his fingers around yours and squeezed, thumb arcing over your palm. “Too bad these aren’t closer. We could come back.”

“It’s not that far.” You sighed, rolling your shoulders back and opening your eyes, once again looking over at him. “But they’re so close to the actual river, once this snow melts and the water level rises, they’ll be almost impossible to find.” Reaching up, you scratched at the side of your neck. “Might be easier to find a hot tub and hook it up in your back yard, to be honest.”

He scoffed at that and you smiled, eyes locked on the way a bead of water looked as it ran down his neck and over his scarred chest before it disappeared into the water, leaving a glistening trail in its wake. His hair was curling against the back of his neck, the steam dampening the ends of it and darkening them at the same time, the growing amount of silvery gray bright against the darker strands. “You’re starin’.”

“I am.” The response was immediate, your free hand moving slowly through the water - back and forth, fingers dragging over the shapes of the rocks and pebbles beneath it. “Can you blame me?”

“Can’t blame you, but I still don’t …” He groaned, his left hand curling into a loose fist. “Still don’t understand it sometimes.” Of course you don’t.

“You don’t have to understand, Joel.” Shifting onto your knees, you moved closer and pulled your hand free from his, cupping both of them together beneath the water and filling them. “You’ve just gotta let me do it.” His jaw pulled tight beneath his beard, the man nodding once as you lifted your hands and reached out, letting the water flow over his shoulder and chest. “Wish this was deeper. The air is cold.”

He dropped his gaze from your face to your chest, his eyes lingering there. When you glanced down, you saw that your bra was entirely see-through, nipples still stiff and visible through the soaked material. “I can see that.” He smiled - a tiny one that turned into a grin, Joel’s hands reaching for you - one wet, one dry - as he pulled you closer. “Lemme warm you up.”

It wasn’t quite comfortable to kneel on the rocks, but once you were straddling his lap and had settled your weight on his outstretched legs, it was better, your arms both winding around his neck as one of his moved to your waist, the other hand pressed against the back of your shoulder. “What’re you doing, Miller?” Threading your fingers through his hair and then dragging your nails along his scalp, you waited.

The air was still around you again, the only sound the moving water. For long moments you let yourself believe that you and Joel were on vacation - that the two of you would stand up and grab fluffy towels and walk a short distance back to a hotel where you’d hop in the shower, rinse off and then spend the rest of the night in a warm, comfortable bed, the TV playing some cable reruns in the background.

And it was easy - or at least easier than you’d thought it would be to let your mind go to that place, especially with the way Joel looked at you. His dark eyes were sharp under the heavy set of his brow, the man’s attention entirely on you, like it had been for so long. “I’m relaxin’.” He cleared his throat, the warmth of his palm on your back anchoring you to the spot. “As much as I can with you sittin’ on my lap, anyway.”

That made you laugh, your head tossed back as your grip on his hair tightened. “You’re the one that made it happen.” He mumbled a few words that sounded suspiciously like “I know I did”, and when you looked back at him, you found that his smile was gone, his lips set into a determined line. “Now you’re staring.”

“Sorry.” He wasn’t, and you both knew it, but instead of replying, you leaned in, resting your forehead against Joel’s, eyes closing slowly as you took a deep breath. “When do you want to go back?” Never. “We should probably think about headin’ there before it gets real dark. The road’s easy enough to follow, but I still don’t want to be slippin’ around on the ice.”

“Whenever you want, Joel.” Angling your head so that you you kiss his cheek, you nodded. “Just tell me when you’re ready.”

You weren’t looking forward to getting dressed again, or to getting out of the water and exposing your skin to the late-winter air, but you knew that you had to. And we’ll get back and light the fire, and - “We can stay here a little while longer.” He spoke into your ear, his hold on you tightening. “Just a couple minutes.”

Relief flooded through you and you went limp in his arms, shifting so that you could lower your head and lay it against his shoulder. One hand slid down and then stopped on his bicep, the other moving beneath his opposite arm to curl around his back.

Your fingertips found and followed the length of a scar there, the raised skin a part of his body that you’d previously mapped over and over. But I’ll always do it again. It was just another piece of his history that made him Joel, and something that you would have been able to identify by touch with no questions asked. Something else to love.

He relaxed beneath you, but you felt his muscles go taut as he tilted his chin up again, the back of his head pressed against the rocks and exposing the column on his throat to the open air. At that, you opened your eyes fully, immediately zeroing in on the freckles there - tiny spots littering his tanned skin like a faint splatter of paint.

He had them all over, but the ones on his neck were your favorites. Just like you had so many times before, you couldn’t stop yourself from leaning in and pressing your lips to them, a smile curving the corners of your mouth upward at his intake of breath.

“Don’t start somethin’ you can’t finish.” Humming out a quiet laugh, you let your lips slide over his damp skin, parting them enough to let the edges of your teeth graze over the corded muscle on the side of his throat. He groaned at that, his grip on you tightening and the sound of your name escaping his lips. “C’mon, that ain’t fair.” We could make it fair.

You had one shot to convince him that you could continue, that the risk was truly low enough that it was outweighed by the benefits of following through on your actions. And I know just how to do it.

“What if I let you finish?” Kissing his collarbone, you shivered as he began to circle over your skin with his thumbs, Joel’s hips shifting beneath you. “Let you decide.” He swore again, the hand on your back sliding down so that it could rest against the band of your bra, fingers splayed to cover as much skin as possible.

There were times when he let you lead, no problem, Joel following your cues like he’d been doing it for decades.

There were others when things were equal, choices made in the moment and based on everything that was happening between the two of you.

But if anything else was going to happen that day, Joel had to be the one to lead. He needed to make the decision that it was safe, that he felt comfortable enough to let things progress - to lose yourselves in each other.

So what’s it going to be? You kissed along the line of his jaw, the man’s damp beard wiry against your lips. What’s he going to decide? Straightening up, you cocked your head to the right. “Hmm? We’re going to have to head back soon, so you’ve gotta pick fast.”

“We do this,” he started, nostrils flaring as his breaths quickened. “We do this and we’re gonna have to be quick, alright? This ain’t… it’s not like we’re at home.” You saw the desire in his eyes, the heat in them warmer than the water you were sitting in. But you also saw the twitch in his jaw, the man fighting with himself at the idea of what he was on the borderline of agreeing to.

“I know.” Releasing his curls, you nodded, one hand sliding over his cheek to cup it, that thumb moving slowly over his lips. “I know we’re not at home. But…” You trailed off, not breaking eye contact as you used your tongue to wet your lips. “But that doesn’t mean we have to rush.” He groaned as you pressed on the fullest part of his lower lip, his eyes closing halfway. “How many times have you told me that if you’re gonna do something, you should take the time to do it right?”

“Prob’ly every damn time.” Eyes opening again, Joel looked back up at you, the steam from the pool you were sitting in gathering on the skin of his cheeks and dampening his beard further. “So I guess I should follow my own advice.” He took his hands off of you for long enough to remove his watch, undoing the band before setting the device carefully next to his gun. He paused for a few seconds and then returned his hands to you, the man’s fingers trailing lightly over your shoulders and upper back.

You didn’t want to speak and risk ruining the moment, so you just nodded slowly, keeping your eyes on him. Joel’s hand dropped further, his thumb sliding beneath the band at the center of your back. In one motion, it came undone, his lips twitching as he fought back a smile at your surprised gasp when the sodden material loosened. “Joel.”

“Lean back.” His voice low, there was no room for argument with the words. You did as he asked, moving one hand down so you were holding onto the back of his neck and keeping the other on his arm, fingers curving around his shoulder.

He looked down and you watched his gaze as it traveled from your face to your chest, the man’s tongue dragging over his lower lip the same way your thumb had only moments before. What’s he going to - You found out soon enough, Joel’s head dropping as he leaned forward, his mouth landing first on your collarbone and then moving down, the hand he’d had on your waist sliding up your side.

He pushed your bra up, his palm covering one side of your chest, and when you gasped he groaned, his thumb arcing over your nipple, the warmth of his skin shocking against the chilled peak.

Shamelessly, you pushed your chest out, Joel understanding immediately what you wanted and continuing to work his way down your body. When he reached your other breast, he didn’t bother moving the material out of the way, his lips sealing over the peaked nipple and sucking, the pressure a welcome surprise. He flicked his tongue over it then, combining that with the flex of his fingers on the other side of you, squeezing the muscle there.

You knew that you should have kept your eyes open and on the opposite side of the river, but you couldn’t. You closed them and let yourself get lost in the feeling of him beneath and in front of you. If he was worried, he wouldn’t be doing this. The thought comforted you and so you let yourself relax, fingers stroking the back of Joel’s neck as he continued to mouth at your chest.

You inched forward on his lap, feeling him between your legs as you settled on his upper thighs. When Joel’s hips jerked at the contact you hummed, smiling. I can work with that. Letting go of his arm, you reached between your bodies and nudged your fingers into the slit of his underwear. The man jerked again at your actual touch, and when you pulled him free, fingers wrapped around his base, Joel backed off, staring up at you. “That’s what you want?”

“It is.” You stroked him a few times, the feeling different than anything you’d ever done before because of the water. “Always want you, Joel. You know that.”

His hair hung over his eye, and without pausing the motion of your hand, you released his neck and reached up with the other one, dragging your fingers through it and pushing it away from his forehead. His hand was still on your chest, the man slowly kneading at your flesh. This is it. The last time we can put a stop to this. The final… our final off ramp.

“Good.” He nearly growled the word, surging forward and surprising you when he released your chest and reached for your neck, gripping it and holding you in place. He pressed his forehead to yours, the man saying your name so softly it was almost a sigh.

And then you were kissing him again, Joel wasting no time in urging your lips apart with his tongue. You shifted your hips, changing your grip on him. When Joel bit down on your lip, the sting of his teeth hot in the cold air, you squeezed, his hips jumping up and forcing himself even deeper into your hand.

“Can’t…” He groaned, kissing you quickly. “Can’t reach you like this. Got no room.” You gave him two more strokes before you replied, sighing as you moved your lips toward his ear.

“Want me to get up?” Taking the lobe between your teeth, you smiled when he nuzzled against the side of your neck, his lips pressed to the place where it connected to your shoulder. “Make it easier?”

“No, I want you to move backwards.” He pushed you away gently, forcing you to release his ear and sit up. “Woulda done it myself, but I didn’t want to scrape your knees on these rocks.” He raised an eyebrow, the look in his eyes changing with every word coming out of his mouth. “How ‘bout it?”

You didn’t speak before moving. Cautiously, you backed away from Joel, the grit of the rocks and sand beneath your knees present but not uncomfortable. You didn’t let him go, either, your eyes dropping for long enough to watch as your hand moved beneath he bubbling surface of the water.

For a few moments, you wondered if what you were doing was a good idea, and then you looked past Joel and at the river and the water rushing by. Beyond that, the foothills and white-coated landscape stretched on to the horizon. We’d see anything or anyone coming. We’d see it all.

Sighing as you leaned in, you continued to stroke him beneath the water, fingers flexing as you paused between each motion. You braced yourself on his shoulder with your other hand and pressed a kiss to his cheek before ducking your tilted head down. He moved both hands to your hips, steadying you - and when you made contact with his skin again, it was to kiss his jaw, your lips lingering for long seconds.

“It’s alright. I’ve got you. Always got you.” His voice a low rumble in your ear, you felt him nod. “We’re safe.”

That confirmation was all you needed, and you continued to mouth over his skin, leaving kisses over the taut column of his throat.

Despite the chill in the air, the man’s skin was blazing hot, and when you backed off enough to look at him, you let yourself stare, eyes locking with his for a few seconds before dropping down to his mouth and then to his chest, one thumb arcing slowly over the large scar on the front of his shoulder.

The steam was beading heavily on his skin, and your eyes followed a few of the droplets that got too large to stay in one place before they ran slowly down his chest. Your lips curved upward as you caught sight of a few more, and then you leaned in, parting them and extending your tongue to lap at the moisture, dragging the muscle over the man’s skin as he tensed beneath you. “What the -”

He tightened his hold on your hips but didn’t move his hands until you hummed quietly, licking your way up and over his clavicle before following the line of it to the hollow at the center of his throat. Joel’s groan vibrated against your tongue and when you felt his skin pull upward, you couldn’t keep the grin on your face at bay.

He was exposing his throat to you again - Joel’s fingers digging into the meat of your hips as he rested the back of his head against the rock behind him for a second time. You took advantage of it, teeth grazing over every inch of him until you said his name again, imploring him to look at you.

Joel locked eyes with you only a few moments later, one large hand rising and cradling your cheek, the tip of his thumb moving slowly beneath your eye. You leaned into his touch, still stroking him from root to tip without breaking stride. “Please, Joel. Right now.”

Typically, that would have been when he snuck a hand between your legs, using at least one of his thick fingers to open you up. It would have been when he batted your hand away and pushed you to lay back on the bed so that he could kiss his way down your body and settle himself at the apex of your thighs; his lips and tongue and the ridge of his nose sending you sailing over the edge at least once before he even thought about burying himself in your heat.

But that day, you didn’t want any of that. You wanted him - wanted him to take you without delay, wanted to him to worry only about himself and what he wanted and needed before he worried about you. He won’t, not completely, but…

“I’ll hurt you.” He frowned, looking down briefly. “Haven’t even touched you yet.”

“Maybe.” You paused your hand’s movement, circling his slit with your thumb. “We’re in the water, Joel. It’s not going to be like normal no matter what you do.” His surprise was evident, both of the man’s brows shooting up. “I’m ready to go if you are, and …” You looked down, too, watching the movement of your hand as you resumed it. “And you feel like you’re ready.”

“Been ready, darlin’.” His voice dropped lower than usual, and at the endearment’s use, it was your turn to gasp, your head rising again to meet his gaze. “Oh, I think you liked that.” He smirked, his thumb sliding over to trail over your lips. “Gonna have to remember that one.”

“I did.” Without breaking eye contact, you rose onto your knees and then moved forward again. “Please do.” He nodded, the hand at your waist moving inward and hooking beneath the elastic of your underwear, easing it to the side, Should have taken that off before. “I’m gonna go slow, alright?” Joel’s hand moved from your face to slide down your arm, pausing at your elbow.

“Whatever you need.” He licked his lips and then flexed his wrist, his knuckles brushing over you briefly. Your hips bucked forward at the touch and you saw the gleam in his eyes, the man barely containing his amusement. You know what you do to me. Don’t pretend like you don’t.

You aligned your body with his, glancing down long enough to make sure that the position would work. We’re good. We’re… Widening the spread of your legs, you felt the gravel biting into your knees as you sunk lower, the sting of the tiny rocks replaced by the slight discomfort of Joel inching his way into you.

It was a stretch - moreso than usual - and even though you hissed at the feeling, you kept going, closing your eyes and then tipping your head back. Another quiet whimper escaped when he was as deep as he could go, but that was cut short when you felt his lips on your neck, the man’s beard tickling everywhere it touched. “You feel good,” he mumbled, lips puckering against your skin. “Always do, but especially like this.”

Praise from Joel was something that you hoarded in your memories. The words from his lips were ones that you always longed to hear, especially when it came to the way that you made him feel - and what he said that day was no exception.

You wound both arms around his neck, and when he raised his head again, you nodded. “You do, too.” It was barely there and then it was gone; the smirk on his lips replaced with a contented look that you knew well. “Even when I have to do all the work.”

You began to move before he could react, a slow roll of your hips only pulling you back and forth a few inches at a time, but it was enough to get you started. He repositioned his hands on your body, fingers spread wide to cover as much of your waist and lower back as possible - and then Joel curled them inward, his grip grounding.

But he also used it to guide you, encouraging the angle of your movement. He paired his hold with small, shallow thrusts of his own hips, the man pushing them forward to meet yours - over and over, his eyes locked on yours and never wavering aside from his need to blink.

“Never done this in the water before,” you groaned after a few minutes, the pain completely gone and replaced with only a feeling of fullness as your bodies moved together. “It feels…”

“Different.” He grunted out the word, holding you in place. “Air’s kinda cold, though.” You chuckled at that but nodded in agreement, leaning in and kissing Joel deeply, the man’s response immediate.

“Then warm us up, Joel.” Speaking against his lips, you closed your eyes again. “I know you can.” He took instruction incredibly well, and soon you and Joel fell into a comfortable rhythm. Aside from the added warmth of the water and the grit of the spring’s floor below, it was no different from the other times you’d been with each other in a similar position.

The cold kept you alert though, the breeze chilling the droplets of water on your upper body. It gave you focus - ears attuned to the sounds Joel made; tiny grunts with each snap of his hips, the goan that stuck in his throat when you sunk all the way down and circled your hips against the short, coarse hair at his base.

“Tell me what you need.” He sighed the words into your ear, one hand still resting on your back beneath the surface of the water and the other flat between your shoulder blades. You rocked against him a few more times as you contemplated his words. A couple things, but …

Slowly and without breaking your rhythm, you slid your hand down and over Joel’s arm, moving it until your hand was atop his. Fingers curling around his wrist, you tugged it between your bodies. When you backed away enough to look into his eyes, you nodded twice, taking a deep breath. “Angle’s no good without you touching me, Joel.”

You released his wrist, still staring at him - and then Joel spoke. “Stop movin’.” You froze, one hand resting on his thigh. Is everything alright? Are we - “When we get back to that old rest area?” You nodded, the ends of your fingers running through the damp hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m gonna drag one of those mattresses down the stairs and show you a good angle.”

Biting back the response you wanted to give him, you nodded and settled for a quiet hum. “Alright.” You rolled your hips, laser-focused on the way Joel responded - the tic of his jaw, the hand on your shoulders sliding down more than a few inches. “Want me to get off of -”

“No. But I’m gonna get you off.” He leaned closer, mouth landing on yours. “And we’re gonna go from there.”

As he kissed you, the man’s tongue sliding over your lower lip and then past it to meet yours, Joel began to touch you too, the pad of his thumb seeking and finding its target with no difficulty, despite the odd angle and the presence of the soaked fabric of your underwear. He moved it in slow, small circles, the kiss continuing as you began to move again, too, rising enough to feel the drag of him through you on your retreat and a push into you with each downward motion.

There was more pain as you dug your knees into the grit beneath them, bearing down on the man. But you ignored it, the building heat in your belly occupying almost all of your thoughts.

He knew just how to touch you, had learned your body almost as well as you knew it yourself in the time that you’d known each other. And I’m so goddamn thankful for that. You broke the kiss, tilting your head downward to watch where your bodies connected through the water you sat in, the clear liquid swirling slowly around your legs.

It was usually a chain reaction - when one of you came, the other followed suit, but part of you believed that Joel wouldn’t give himself the chance to finish in the water, instead preferring to bring you to and over the edge and deny himself until you were back inside for the night. But that’s not what I want.

You sped up as much as you could, clenching around him when you paused before rising each time, and that seemed to do the trick. Joel grunted and reversed the direction his thumb was moving in. He increased the pressure and you nodded as you turned your head toward his neck, mouthing at the skin there. “Keep going, Joel.” You closed your eyes, focusing on him. “Please.”

The hand on your back moved lower, following the line of your spine until just before it reached the water and then stopped, his roughened fingertips replaced with the edges of his nails - and when he dug those in, he thrust upward at the same time he switched from his thumb to two fingers, the added pressure immediately working to make you come.

You cried out, his name the only word you could think of, the sound of it carrying away from you and far across the barren landscape. Instead of stopping what he was doing, Joel continued, prolonging your pleasure with his hand and body.

You bit down on his shoulder, the motion of your body stuttering as you rode out your climax - but when Joel attempted to slow down, you didn’t let him. “No, Joel.” Tonguing at his ear, you took the lobe between your teeth and tugged. “Don’t you dare make me do this alone.”

The aftershocks of your orgasm urged him in deeper as your muscles contracted around him, and you reached backward, behind your body with one hand, continuing to roll your hips. Bracing yourself on his thigh, you leaned back, taking a deep breath.

You rolled your hips over and over as you wound your arm around his neck, and Joel did his part to hold you up - one arm firmly around your shoulders, the other one pressed to the center of your back. His hand supported your head as you kept it upright, heavy lidded eyes focused on his face.

Squeezing for balance, you used your legs to lift yourself higher. The change in position gave him more room to move and the warmth of the water made the odd angle feel better, even as you slipped on the surface beneath you. Ah, shit. You regained your balance thanks to the tightening of his fingers against your back and your not-so-gentle tug on the hair at the nape of his neck. “C’mon, Joel. You’re close.” Humming as you met one of his shallow thrusts, you nodded. “I can feel it. Let me feel everything. Please.”

He grunted again, nodding. You let go of his leg and straightened back upright, increasing your pace as you moved up and down. It took him by surprise but Joel matched you thrust for thrust after only a few moments, his bearded chin pressed against your shoulder as his chest rose and fell, each motion a mirror of your own. “Oh, shit.” He swore, hips bucking upward twice in quick succession, surprising you and forcing you all the way down, your oversensitive skin grinding against his base. “Oh, shit, I…”

The man’s nails dug into your skin, and you were almost certain that you’d have visible marks once he let go - but you didn’t care. “That’s it.” Speaking quietly into his ear, you nodded, your cheek pressed to his. “Right there, Joel. Give me everything. Give it all, I want -”

He came with a lurch of his body, the water splashing as his knee broke the surface when it jerked upward.

Even though the water was already warm, you felt him filling you, the man’s hips bucking in short, quick bursts and he emptied himself inside of your body. He spoke while he did it, the words mostly unintelligible, though you caught a few as you tried to focus on anything but your heart pounding in your ears and how harsh your breathing was.

“Nobody else.” He shuddered the words out, still holding you tightly. “Nobody else has ever -”

“Made you come in a natural hot spring? Yeah, I can say the same.” You interrupted, needing to break the tension.

It wasn’t that you didn’t want to hear him say things like that to you - because you’d waited your entire adult life for someone to love you enough to mean it. It wasn’t even that it was the wrong place for it. The wide open expanse of Wyoming’s sprawling landscape provided the perfect backdrop for a man like Joel to bare his soul. But if he keeps talking like that, we’ll get carried away, and it’ll get dark, and …

Tugging on his hair, you eased his head upright, waiting to see what the look in his eyes was before you decided what to do next. “That too.” He was gawking at you, the day’s lay rays of sun turning his irises a warm brown. “But -” Oh, Joel.

“Yeah.” Nodding, you leaned in. “I know. Nobody.” That kiss started slow, building as he softened inside of you. The steam from the spring curled around you while Joel pulled you even closer, wrapping both of you in a warm blanket that helped to mask the chill of the air. I wish we could stay right here.

You were chest to chest, no space between your bodies, and as he moved to deepen the kiss, you let him. The last one. Then we have to go back. But he prolonged it, pulling away enough to take in a break and then he kissed you again, your fingers relaxing in the damp strands of his hair as his touch turned less possessive and more reverent, the way things so often did between you.

“We have to go back.” He finally broke away, his thinly-veiled disappointment not at all a surprise to you. “It’s gonna be dark soon, and it’ll get real cold.” Wordlessly, you backed away, knees dragging over the tiny stones as you eased off of him. “There’s an extra blanket in my bag. Not real thick, but it’ll dry us off.”

Shivering as you rose from the water to stand upright, you appreciated his thoughtfulness. Brushing the pebbles and silt from the skin of your legs, you turned for his bag, knowing full well that Joel was staring at your almost-nude form. Let him. Because I’m gonna stare at him, too.

Removing your underwear so that it didn’t soak your jeans, you dried off as quickly as possible, pulling your layers back on as Joel began splashing in the water behind you. “What a view.” He stepped behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder even though he kept his wet body away from your mostly dry one. “And I ain’t talkin’ about the Rockies.” It made you warm all over, but before you could turn around and tell him, he was gone, the man hissing as he stepped on a large rock. “That’s what I fuckin’ get, hmm?”

You laughed despite yourself, turning and handing him the blanket, though you were sure to get an eyeful before he started drying his skin. “I agree with you on the view.” Zipping your coat, you finally looked up, meeting his eyes. “It’s excellent out here.”

He grumbled but you saw the red rising in his cheeks as he pulled his underwear off, too. The man let it drop onto the rocks next to yours, turning his attention to his legs. “You’re fulla shit.” It still stunned you sometimes, just how far Joel had come in the years he’d spent in Jackson. If anyone had told you that the man you’d met for the first time at Tommy and Maria’s dinner table that refused to speak to you for most of the night would have turned into the man standing before you, you would have called them a liar. But I’d be the liar. Because he’s…

Joel bent to pull his jeans on, the faded denim sliding up and over his muscular legs, and you paused again, tongue poking out between your lips. Fuck. He’s so… “You definitely didn’t grow up in Texas.” Raising a brow, he ran one hand through his hair, slicking it back. “Because apparently no one ever told you it ain’t polite to stare.”

“You had no problem looking at me a couple minutes ago.” It’s not even a question. One hand on your hip, you shook your head. “So deal with it.”

Joel only laughed in return, propping his feet up one by one on a small boulder to lace up his boots, and you followed suit. “It took us what, an hour to get here?” You nodded, zipping your wet clothes into a smaller bag before stuffing it into your pack. “Let’s beat that going back.”

“Fine by me.” You stepped past him, bending over and reaching one hand back into the water. He didn’t question you, but you felt his eyes on you as you thumbed through the rocks on the bottom of the pool, finding two - a smooth black stone threaded with silver and one that you were almost positive was jade - and then slipping them into the front zip pocket of your bag.

“Since when are you a rock collector?” Joel finally spoke a few minutes later as the two of you made your way back toward the road. “And what’re you gonna do with ‘em?”

“I’m not. Usually, anyway.” You fell into step side by side, eyes sweeping the land in front of you. “Today’s special.” He hummed in agreement but didn’t press the issue - so you continued. “But you’d be surprised at what you can find in the water around here. Tommy actually found a giant diamond a couple years after he got here while he was out on patrol while they were watering the horses, and couldn’t get back fast enough to give it to Maria.”

Joel laughed, briefly turning his head to look at you. “Sounds like Tommy, alright.”

“They’re all worthless now, and there’s so much damn jewelry in the stores that you can have pretty much whatever you want, but … it’s still fun.” You scanned the horizon, staying on high alert thanks to the adrenaline still rushing through your body. “The kids pan in Flat Creek sometimes, but that’s mostly just rocks. I guess … I don’t know, Joel. I just wanted to remember today.”

He didn’t respond right away, the two of you continuing back toward the horses and the rest stop - but when Joel finally spoke, his tone of voice was matter of fact. “We’ll put ‘em on the shelf in the hallway, with all my carvings? If you want.”

We’ll see them every time we come in or leave. “Yeah, Joel.” You nudged him with your arm, unwilling to take your hands out of your pockets. “Sounds good.”

—

Later that night, the two of you were tucked next to each other on the mattress, a small fire burning a few feet away. He’d blocked both doors from the inside, and the creaky building was almost cozy. Especially with him right there.

He’d made good on his promise as soon as he was satisfied with the evening lockdown and the two of you had eaten. Joel pressed your naked body into the thin bedding, the angle - as he’d said it would be - a good one.

As the flames flickered, you stared up at the ceiling. “Joel?” He hummed from beside you, turning his head. “I think you should go to the dance. Ellie’s going to be there, and even if the two of you don’t talk, you’ll still be able to see her having a good time.” He didn’t say anything right away, and for a few seconds, you thought you’d overstepped. But he should go. He should know. “She actually asked about you the other day.”

“What? Why didn’t you day something?” He rolled to face you, brows knit together. “What did she -” I didn’t want to get your hopes up.

“She asked if you were alright. Said you seem off lately, and that Tommy told her to get her shit together instead of… this.” You reached over, tracing over the scar on his nose. “I told her you were OK and reminded her that I don’t want to be the middleman forever.” Giving him a quick smile, you closed your eyes. “She looked a little guilty, so I dropped it. I wish the two of you were talking, but it’s … it’s not my decision when she -”

“It’s not. It’s hers. Thank you for tellin’ me.” He reached over, pulling you closer. “Even if she’s not talkin’ to me, I’m glad she’s got you.” You were, too. The circle of people that knew her secret - and Joel’s part in keeping it and keeping her alive was limited to five in Jackson. And since she’s not talking to Joel right now, there’s only three people she can trust. “I’m glad she didn’t push you away becausea you an’ me.”

“I wouldn’t have let her.” You wrinkled your nose. “I know she’s stubborn, but … after spending a year on the road with you and living with you for two more, I’d be surprised if she wasn’t.” He laughed at that and the corners of his eyes crinkled as the sound filled the room, warming it up almost more than the fire. “She’s got a limit, though, Joel. And I think she’s getting close. So you should be ready, just in case she -”

“I’ve been ready.” He stopped laughing, taking and holding a deep breath. “Been ready since the day we got back from Salt Lake for the second time, if I’m bein’ honest.” You knew that he was serious, but you also knew how much he loved the girl. And that’s why he’s been so patient about this even though it’s killing him.

Joel didn’t say anything else and neither did you, the sound of crackling logs and quiet whinnying from the horses creating the perfect background noise. You wondered what he was thinking - if his thoughts were about Ellie or Tommy, if they were focused on you, or on the fact that your patrol had been the second one in two months to turn up no sign of anyone, despite the distress calls. Maybe a little bit of everything.

You weren’t taking turns sleeping that night. Joel had deemed it safe enough for both of you to rest at the same time - and so you let yourself doze, your head drooping forward to rest against the broad expanse of his chest. He smelled like the outdoors - the mountain air set deep into the material of his jacket, and that made you even sleepier - but Joel’s voice brought you back to full consciousness, the man sighing out your name.

You opened your eyes so see his face inches from yours on the balled up material you were using as pillows. He looks … nervous. “Yeah, Joel?”

“I haven’t done this in a while, so forgive me if I’m a little rusty, but …” His hand moved from your side up, Joel’s warm fingers trailing over the skin of your throat before he ran his knuckles gently over your cheek, the firelight flickering deep in his eyes. “Can I interest you in bein’ my date to the Spring dance?”

—

tag list coming soon!

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hanzaikyou · 1 year

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Shogo Suzuki Range Analysis

Hi hello guys, and welcome to "Yuuki Izawa posted a thing that got a whole discord curious". So this post was inspired by this tweet, made by Yuuki Izawa in 2019, boldly claiming Shogo as having a 26 octave range.

If that sounds wild, it is because it is. It is wild. Love him though.

Because of that, I went on a little research-assignment-rabbithole, to figure out exactly how wide Shogo's range is.

The Verdict

Based on evidence I'll present in a minute, Shogo has a proven range of Ab2-C5, roughly two and a bit octaves. His comfortable range seems more aligned with being D3-C5 though.

The Evidence

To prove this, I looked through every single show I had access to featuring the man that he sang in... so primarily Hakumyu (many thanks to the Hakumyu Livejournal for that, ilysm, sorry I'm not more active) and Morimyu, along with a couple of stray musicals I had around that supported evidence, which shall be mentioned if necessary.

Lower Limit (Ab2)

I started by looking for the lower limit, and turned first to Hakumyu for this. I searched through the first Live first, then briefly looked through Kazama-hen and Hijikata-hen. (I don't know the names of songs, as I am not fully familiar with the series yet, but please bare with me.)

My first real evidence with this was actually the Fullmetal Alchemist stage, wherein Shogo sings in the middleish. In that song, he hits a low of E3 in the chorus, giving me a start point to look for.

I then went straight to Hakumyu Live, specifically his solo medley (I believe it is?) that occurs roughly 1h13 in to the show. Aside from being possibly my favourite Hakumyu song (can you blame me), I knew that the verses went quite low off the top of my head, so I checked for them, and they presented me with an D3, still quite stable too.

Skimming through the rest of it, mostly jumping chapters and looking for Shogo, I stumbled across the Demon Tag section of Chizaru's song, beginning at 21 minutes in, which hit the lowest note I'd heard from him at Ab2. He performed spectacularly, but there is somewhat of a wavering in his voice that leads me to think that he's kind of reaching for it, hence belief that it's out of his comfortable range.

Then I went on to Hijikata-hen, and ended up finding the song at 1h05, which is of course part of the medley mentioned earlier. The same stable D5 greeted me, giving me the Official Lower Limit. (Side note, I love the song starting at 1h05 so much, but that's for another post.)

Kazama-hen supported this again, with an Eb5 in the song beginning at 1h16. (Kazama-hen also made me cry. But that's also another post.) At this point, I considered the lower pitch confirmed, and moved on to searching for the higher pitch.

EDIT: As the lovely @liliththunder pointed out to me (and many thanks for that), I missed a song at the 45 minute mark in Kazama-hen that goes lower - primarily centering on the C3 and going as far down as Bb2. Due to this, I'm amending my statement, and simply accepting Ab2 as the lower limit. That being said, I stand by the statement that he's more comfortable above C3 or D3.

Higher Limit (C5)

For the higher limit, I decided to search through Morimyu, mostly because I know exactly where all Shogo's high notes in that are.

I did have, as part of the notes I took when scouring the Fullmetal Alchemist song, the high from that, which turned out to be an Ab4. Admittedly, I didn't think that was quite high enough, but noted it down anyway.

I started by looking through the CD for the specific songs that I knew would give me a guide, and found what I was looking for almost immediately. Verdict (II) from OP1 and Beginning of the End from OP3 were my first points of call for their fairly renowned high notes. Both turned out to have a cap of C5, so I used this as my guide from thereon out.

They would turn out to be the highest I could find though. The other two I checked directly by name were Emotion (the OP1 duet with Ikkei) and In This Lonely Room (or the Couch Song from OP3). These had high notes of A4 and Bb4 respectively.

I then skipped through OP4, looking for every Shogo song and its relevant high note, which supported this idea - every high note in that show is either an A4 or a Bb4 save for one, in the finale, that is a C5.

I will note that these top notes do sound incredibly stable, and I'd be curious as to whether he is capable of going further, but no evidence for anything higher than C5 exists in anything I can get my hands on. If someone with access to Tokyo Ghoul could check, I'd be absolutely open to correction there.

But yes, that is that for now - I got my answers and a fun little research task, and you got whatever this is. I'll be doing Ikkei next, most likely soon, possibly tomorrow depending on how much time I have (and not at all because I want to watch his Tenimyu run again... heh). I thank you all for reading, and I hope you enjoyed the journey as much as I did.

#worksofcrime #morimyu #hakumyu #suzuki shogo #actor range analysis

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psychewritesbs · 2 years

Text

Chapter 201: Direct Negotiations, part 2—THIS IS AMERICA!

Happy JJK-Sunday.

Actually... not really... Our boys are about to walk into insanity... Get your Kleenex box ready. Gege is up to no good...

He also made fun of and called out “America” and I love him all the more for it. Makes me wonder whether he’s keeping up with the USAmerican fandom and wonders how we’re reacting to the chapter.

We love it!

If anyone cares to read... I got super political and opinionated and personal. That’s what happens when you are a First Generation USAmerican born in the US but raised outside of the US--you see things differently.

THIS IS AMERICA

Also, if you haven’t, go listen to the song by Donald Glover, This is America, a fantastic satire of a song and music video loaded with symbolism. The song and video were released in May of 2018 and depicted the deeply rooted societal problems plaguing American society.

TW! The video is very graphic.

Not featured in the song and video, however, are...

The American Healthcare System: The fact that I can't afford to go to the Doctor or have a medical emergency without getting into ridiculous amounts of debt...

Student loan debt: Not to mention the mountain of Student Loan debt I have because... #this is America and in the American Dream you get into debt to go to college to get better jobs. It’s a literal scam and millions of us bought into it.

Far Right Christian Fundamentalism: Also, a group of judges took away federal protection for abortion laws. It’s feeling really Handmaid’s Tail up in here.

Guns guns guns, USAmericans LOVE their guns: Did I mention my neighbors aren’t scared to publicly say that they’ll shoot you with their assault riffle if you trespass into their property and they assume you are suspicions? #Texas.

Talk about being a progressive society.

But hey...

I think the biggest irony about the internal societal problems tearing down American society is intimately related to what Gege is addressing in this chapter... instead of focusing on fixing our internal problems, American leaders are hell-bent on colonization, conquest and dominating the political landscape outside of its borders.

Cue Killing in the Name of by quintessentially American Rock Band, Rage Against the Machine.

Yes, Gege. Say it.

And the whole implication about how the US uses its army to pursue this world domination agenda?

I don’t care how cliché these American Villains are they’re painfully cliché... this whole thing is so on point.

As a First Generation USAmerican, I honestly had second-hand embarrassment reading this chapter.

Side note: I drive a 13-year old Honda Civic. I highly recommend Japanese cars. USAmerican cars are not that great.

I am totally not surprised to see Gege addressing how the US government and media will manipulate public perception of certain political issues.

“We’re not experimenting on Japanese citizens, we’re protecting them” reminds of the war in Iraq in the search for weapons of mass destruction that were never found.

Similarly, if you Google Project A119, the formal definition about it was presented to the public as having benign reasons. But who is to say it wasn’t about establishing dominance?

Curious to learn more? You can read more about Project A119 and Operation Fishbowl by doing Google searches on these terms.

But I think most poignant is the implication that American leadership would think that it’s morally correct to experiment on humans.

And Kenny totally has the USAmerican leaders eating right out of his hand by saying everything he knows they need to hear.

We know Kenny is going around stirring the pot and getting countries pitted against one another.

But we haven’t seen what he has told the Japanese government. We also don’t know if Gege will write about the kinds of atrocities the Japanese government might have committed against its own citizens.

Like other authors, Gege certainly doesn’t hold back his punches.

And, again, what’s most poignant about this whole ordeal is that we’re talking about governments and how they justify their actions while manipulating public perception of these issues.

That’s why I really appreciated the symbolism used to depict the ideal of what it means for USAmerica to be the world power that it is today (or at least was once upon a time).

This is America.

And I love that, again, Kenny was just like...

“Calm down USAmerica, you might have guns and muscle, but Japan has psychic warriors. Duh!”

That smug look on his face too... Let’s not forget that Kenny has been planning this ordeal and waiting for the right set of circumstances like an idiotic USAmerican President in office for at least a millennia

Anyways...

Yes, world. The clichés about USAmerica are mostly painfully true.

Ura-ume

Talking to @justafrenchlondoner we were both wondering whether Ura-ume is going to turn on Kenny since Ura-ume appears to have a deep allegiance with Sukuna and Sukuna had a change of plans.

Similarly, if I remember correctly, Kenny was ok with doing away with Sukuna... something like that. Gotta go back to re-read parts of the Shibuya arc.

Either way, gotta wonder about them...

And then the chapter ends...

The perfect recipe for disaster.

800 soldiers with USAmerican guns and muscle against a comedian, an Angel, and two high school-aged Psychic Warriors.

I fear that here comes the culmination of this cozy feeling of safety that Gege created during the first half of the arc... and it is legit giving me anxiety.

I’m literally going crazy because I can see it coming. There’s a Gege-twist coming. I can feel it. And idk if I’m being paranoid but that’s how Gege rolls.

This man kills and hurts beloved characters without remorse just after you thought everything was groovy.

The Culling Game so far...

During the Culling Game, a literal Battle Royale twist on the Battle Tournament trope, with some exceptions, most of what we’ve gotten so far has been very lighthearted moments and battles and no significant deaths.

The Culling Game is about death but we haven’t experienced any deaths that we care about. Think long and hard about that.

Instead, Gege has bombarded us with Gege-style irony and humor.

Who could forget Yuta kissing a cockroach?

Not to mention Yuta and Ryu’s bromance to wrap up the arc.

Have we forgotten how incredibly annoying Charlie Bernard was?

And how Kashimo vs. Hakari literally ends with them teaming up, stroking each other’s ego, and acting like they weren’t just trying to kill each other moments ago?

What about Takaba’s awful jokes?

Then there was Kappa-guy and Katana-guy...

And now that Naoya has died again... we’re back to where it all began: Yuji and Megumi willingly going on a suicide mission to save each other and their loved ones.

Now, during Shibuya, Yuji walked away scarred, not just physically, but emotionally and psychologically. Megumi, on the other hand, was protected by Sukuna.

This also just reminded me that, from my perspective, Megumi has shown us on more than one occasion that he doesn't seem to have much regard for the life of others.

So I kind of have to wonder whether we’re about to find out just how much Megumi doesn’t value human life in general given the whole thing about how the most powerful sorcerers have an overwhelming sense of self and have no regard for others.

Who knows! Can’t wait to see how the rest of the Culling Game arc unfolds because when JJK is good, JJK IS GOOD.

Anyways. Happy JJK-Sunday! If you’ve made it this far, thank you again for reading my rant about USAmerica.

This is America

You know... the political rant about USAmerica aside, I must admit that living in USAmerica is quite the privilege that I am grateful to have.

I think that inasmuch as we, USAmericans have a bad reputation, we really are just like everybody else--doing our best with what circumstances we have been handed.

For some self-disclosure: I lived in Houston, TX for a decade. Houston is a criminally underrated yet quintessentially USAmerican city...

Houston is no Manhattan, but it is the cultural capital of the Southern US and is one of the most culturally diverse cities in the country. And amongst the things that are quintessentially American are the immigrant communities that have made this country what it is today.

I understand that when Anthony Bourdain recorded the episode for Parts Unknown in Houston, despite Houston’s incredible gourmet foodie scene, he specifically asked to visit the hole-in-the-wall-type cultural nooks in the city because he wanted the episode to focus on the USAmerican experience of being an immigrant in this country.

I can tell you that while I lived in Houston, I had friends from Mexico to Nepal, and worked with people from Spain all the way to Korea.

The private school I worked at had children enrolled from at least 50 different nationalities from the world over. What I loved most about working there was knowing that these children were being taught that it didn’t matter where you’re from because in the end we’re all just human.

Similarly, when Hurricane Harvey dumped a year’s worth of water on Houston in 2017, Houston was practically under water. The outpouring of support from the community in the midst of the chaos, however, was beautiful to behold. Your nationality or skin color did not matter, what mattered was helping other Houstonians get back on their feet.

This is USAmerica.

... and we’ve got deeply rooted societal problems, but we really are just doing our best with what we’ve got.

One final jab at “America”

I didn’t want to couldn’t help myself...

#jjk ch 201 #jjk spoilers #god I love jujutsu kaisen

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thelediz · 4 months

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Sonic Underground episode 35: The Big Melt

I’m watching Sonic Underground in search of inspiration to finish a fic I’ve been writing forever. It’s a sad state of affairs. See the recap of the first three episodes here, if you're interested!

The Plot (for want of a better word): Robotnik’s forces are trying to melt the Polar Ice Caps to cover Mobius in water! Can the Sonic Underground save the world, or will Sonic drown under the pressure?

Sorry. Had to do it.

Quick note. This episode has some serious dubbing issues, and whoever was on the localisation animation apparently spent the entire time writing ‘Queen Sauna’ and none on actually fixing the rest of the episode for English. This is the only episode I have noticed this on, but it’s very, very obvious that this was originally a French cartoon.

It’s a bit of an unusual start to this one, which implies it’s A Dramatic Episode (it’s really not). We open with some unknown Resistance Members watching Sleet and Dingo from afar, before cutting to Aleena’s monologue over the triplets relaxing on a beach, and immediately throwing THE SONG in to get it out of the way.

The Song: Fun in the Sun. Beach Boys with the serial numbers barely filed off and no bothers given.

IF YOU WANTED you could see an homage to the Sonic OVA, with Sonic watching over his sunglasses as Manic rides the waves on his hoverboard.

But then Sonia appears in a panic to report the what the Resistance saw. The boys complain (to the point of a proper tantrum from Sonic…), because Sonia is the driving force of the Sonic Underground once again. But of course she easily guilts them into it with a scowl and they head off, and we accept that sure was a five minute character spot before the plot can properly kick off.

This sets a theme for this episode.

Robotnik reveals his plot is to melt the ice caps so Mobius floods, specifically to annoy Sonic. And I mean… sure, Robotnik, you do you, but there’s short sighted and there’s SHORT SIGHTED. There is a reason I quietly headcanon him as going crazy from chaos radiation when he’s on Mobius.

Sonic’s whining about the cold is very annoying, and Sonia rightfully calls him out on it. She also mentions that it’s warmer than you would expect the ice caps to be (-20 Celsius, which is not really that uncommon for the Antarctic coast, which can get up to positive 10 degrees in the summer, but that’s a random trivia fact I just happen to know and honestly, self...). Manic, in another of his rare shows of insight, suggests that Robotnik is trying to melt the ice caps, and is promptly disregarded. This insight is not commented on later.

There’s a big long action scene where Sonia is split up from the boys, both carried away by melting ice on boiling waves. The boys are taken off into the ocean (egh, I’m sure they’ll be fine and this won’t feed Sonic’s aquaphobia at all, don’t even worry about it) while Sonia ends up stumbling across the Resistance hideout (and some Three Stooges knock offs that immediately recognise Sonia as royalty), and we can get this plot on the road. Kind of.

The penguins think Sonia is the reincarnation of their past Queen Sauna (-side look-) who is prophesised to return and make the Polar Ice Caps into a warm paradise. This will never be explained.

It’s that kind of an episode.

Meanwhile, Sonic and Manic are rescued from drowning in boiling water by Robotnik’s submarine surfacing underneath them, so they can learn what’s going on and get in trouble. But thankfully Sonic gets them out of it just as easy. And now he’s got enough momentum to run across water or something because he’ll be find moving around from here on out super easy. So that sure was a scene.

Now, the penguins are upset because ‘their queen’ is melting their city, but Sonia points out she’s going to need her brothers to stop the melt. She calls them with music (this is the third time this has worked in this series. I feel like it should have been a bit more of a common theme, but we take what we get) and after Manic points it out, they report for duty, and the penguins realise Sonia’s not their queen. Apparently their prophecy never mentioned siblings. -vague shrug-

Seriously. This episode has SUCH a weird rhythm. There are all these tiny scenes, almost like someone was storyboarding cool visuals and then added the script afterward. The weirdly elongated action scene earlier was one, and then they have this random three second scene of the triplets and penguins sliding down into the Resistance base, and then this joke about Sonic drilling twenty-something holes through walls to find Robotnik’s machine (the joke is him insisting his sense of direction is perfect, which… one could make something of that, and how it shouldn’t be a joke because this is a guy who can and has jogged around the world in hours and rarely seems to get lost)(but one will not, because one has better things to make too much of)(why one is speaking like this, one does not know), and then they have a scene where Sonic comes back, reports many lasers so they can wonder what they’re going to do, only for him to immediately pop back in and take out the lasers. I mean… it’s just… Did you not have enough script for the episode or something?? Throw a few more scenes of Sonia getting pampered, or explain why the penguins have a statue of her lookalike, something! I feel like I can't settle into any of these scenes!

They end the conflict with an equally weirdly timed thing, Sonic advising Sleet and Dingo they should run while Sonia and Manic set explosives, and then there’s a montage as they escape and tell Robotnik and… it’s really, really weird.

Like, not even the usual weird, it’s just… weirdly artistic for this series? It's odd.

This episode is ODD.

But everyone gets out, and now Sonia, Manic, and the penguins are relaxing in the warm water, and they end the episode by teasing Sonic about his aquaphobia.

Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

You guys did such a good job of dealing with it before, but cool…

So… so, sometimes, shows do something odd, and you’re like… there was definitely something going on behind the scenes here that caused this to be created. Sometimes it’s a poorly disguised pilot, sometimes it’s one of the actors trying their hand at directing or writing or arthouse theatre. Sometimes you wonder if maybe this episode was never supposed to be released in English but they needed an extra episode for some reason…

Not sure if that’s what was going on here, but WOW am I certain SOMETHING was going on with this episode and I do not care enough to find out what.

Onto the next.

#sonic underground #lediz fics #sonic the hedgehog #sonia hedgehog #manic hedgehog #weirdly artistic episode in some parts #weirdly disjointed episode in some parts #reminder that this is a french cartoon #who needs smooth plot detailing #this show is a trashfire

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the-gayest-show · 1 year

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You intrigue me. You never heard of or seen many of the cartoons of the 90’s/2000’s and you are part of the 1% who doesn’t….**gulp** care about the Spider-Verse movie? (even though many non-Marvel fans love it, it’s just that versatile)…

May I ask: What were your interests growing up? I had a typical media consumption childhood, so that’s all I know. What did you know growing up?

I suppose I am quite weird that way.

I mean I'm not very old so that probably contributes to my lack of knowledge of 90s/2000s stuff (i know names and stuff now but never actually seen the shows or even heard of them before a year to even a few months ago),

But it's also the fact I grew up without cable television and the media consumption I had was TVOkids, occasional bits of CityTV (I watched a bit of Modern Family sometimes), and CBC (I watched a Murdoch Mysteries thru the ages of 9-11). I LOVED CBC Marketplace and Murdoch Mysteries as a kid, I still do watch both of them to an extent and they're the two things that stuck with me.

I don't entirely know what "typical media consumption childhood" means to you, but I don't entirely think I had it very "typical", considering if I mention the shows I grew up with (Jack, Science Max Experiments At Large, Odd Squad, Wild Kratts, etc) I bet you'd know a few of them but certainly not all of them lol. Some of them I can't even find properly on google unless I actually try and some of the shows I've watched feel like a fever dream and I sometimes doubt I actually watched the shows simply because they're so unknown, even to Dr. Google.

I even watched some of the typical "adult" shows (well, shows that you don't find the average kid watching but aren't gore-y or swearing or anything like that), because TVOkids didn't go on forever and ended at 7pm on the dot and transitioned to normal TVO, which had boring stuff like documentaries and The Agenda (i still don't know what that's about, but I never stuck around to find out). Even CBC had a CBC Kids section but that went on for even less time than TVOkids so I rarely spent much time on that channel. So as a kid who only went to bed at 8pm you found other things to watch on the other channels on your TV (we didn't have normal streaming services so there wasn't even that lol).

I even watched a bit of Just For Laughs with my family because it was essentially visual comedy with 0 sound and my parents have english as a second language so it's something anyone could understand without needing to understand certain concepts. Just For Laughs is essentially just pranks that these hosts (they're always the same people) play on random street people and then they show them the camera at the end. It's rlly funny, check it out lol.

I literally never had access to channels like Cartoon Network, Disney, and your typical cartoon channels because being Canadian shuts it down almost immediately. Even now when I specifically try to access it legally (for free) I can't. I've only in the recent few years learned about the magic of piracy and getting what you want, when you want but otherwise I wouldn't have even been able to watch the shows I do love atm.

As a side note, I was also raised with Ukrainian/Russian shows like vinnie pooh (the russian one, i didn't know there was an english one until i was 11 lol) and cheburashka. Both of these even upon google search bring up core childhood memories and I do love them so much. Also buratino (the movie i think, don't remember whether it was cartoon or live-action) was something I remember watching (there's a certain song which I can recite with lyrics and tune is something I still carry with me as a very crystal clear memory).

Edit: Wow. The English names of the russian shwos I watched are very disappointing. Wow. Also here's another gem I remembered. One of my favorites growing up.

Even then I guess I'm not really... interested in most of the 90s/00s shows unless the concept is good (also bc I'm already watching so many shows rn I don't I'd handle more than I'm currently watching/planning to watch).

Anyways this answer turned out to be much longer than I thought this would be but that's basically the rundown of my very interesting media consumption. I am "Gen Z" by all accounts but even then I don't think my interests were very usual lol.

#posts #asks #thanks for allowing me to indulge in nostalgia tho #was very fun

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velvetkissses · 2 years

Text

I'll Give It To Someone Special

Character(s); Kitty Kane, Logan Echolls, Lilly Kane, Duncan Kane (mentioned)

Relationship(s); Logan Echolls x Kitty Kane (kinda one-sided), Logan Echolls x Lilly Kane

Summary; Kitty goes to a school dance right before Christmas, ready to profess their love to their best friend and crush, Logan, but unfortunately Kitty's night ends up sounding like the plot of a famous Christmas love song.

Notes; if it isn't obvious, this is inspired by Wham!'s "Last Christmas". Also this is kinda canon to the timeline of my main story, "Dirty Little Secret" (which I'll post soon), and happens pre-season 1, in 2001. Also, please ignore the weird formatting the text does for the lyrics, idk how to fix it.

Previous Part | Next Part | Masterlist

Kitty was never much of a party-goer, but somehow their best friend Logan had convinced them that going to the school's Christmas dance would be fun.

When Logan had brought it up, Kitty's mind wandered quickly and theories about why he brought up the dance filled their mind, and Kitty's mind lingered around the theory of Logan reciprocating their feelings and having a crush on them too.

Standing off to the side of the school gym, Kitty watched everyone around them. They had gotten there a bit earlier, alongside their twin brother Duncan and older sister, Lilly. Within a few minutes, both siblings seemed to disappear off into the crowd and Kitty was left to find sanctuary, outside of the crowd of students inside the school gym.

Loud music echoed in the room, making Kitty's head throb slightly, but they tried to ignore it for the time being and just watched everyone, their eyes searching around the room for the familiar face of their best friend and crush.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

The voice of George Michael sang and Kitty lightly swayed from side to side, their back against the wall behind them, as their eyes searched for any indication of Logan, so they could try to go to him and hopefully explain their situation, regarding their crush on him.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

Hopeful eyes glanced around the room once more, before they fell on a familiar face, that seemed to be talking to someone. Logan was really there. Kitty could almost not believe it and pinched their arm to make sure they weren't actually dreaming, before they took a deep breath, getting ready to head over to Logan.

As Kitty took a deep breath and mentally prepared to head over towards Logan's direction, their mind wandered off and instead of it lurking around the theory of Logan reciprocating their feelings, they edged closer and closer to insecure thoughts, ones about how Kitty wasn't his type, and how he probably only hung out with them out of pity, and not because he liked them.

Kitty took another breath, but this time not because they were nervous, but instead because they felt diffident and suddenly down in the dumps. Their pulse rose as they watched Logan talk with someone that they couldn't make out from outside of the crowd.

Once bitten and twice shy

I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye

Tell me baby, do you recognize me?

Well, it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me

Looking down at the gym floor, they kicked slightly at it and continued swaying to the melody of the song, as their mind and pulse both raced. Their sudden self-doubt didn't come out of nowhere, as they had never been the most confident person, but for the past few days, they had felt extremely confident and seemed to suddenly have lost all of the said confidence.

Happy Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it

With a note saying "I love you", I meant it

Now I know what a fool I've been

But if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again

Looking back up, Kitty glanced back in the direction of Logan, and felt their heart break at the sight they saw. All because of their sudden lack of confidence, they lost the chance to be the one dancing with Logan, to no one else but their own older sister, Lilly.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

The loud music playing seemed to only get louder and Kitty could barely watch as Logan danced with Lilly. They knew they had no right to claim Logan as theirs, and he could like Lilly if he wanted, and that Lilly could like Logan if she wanted, but the sight still brought a quick strike to Kitty's heart.

Slowly but surely, tears began trickling down Kitty's cheeks, but before they could run down to their chin, they wiped their tears away quickly, and looked back down on at the floor, as the music echoed and Kitty's head continued throbbing even more.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

What would they even have said if they went over before he and Lilly started dancing? They were always so bad with words, they'd definetly still sound all awkward and dumb then if they tried to confess their love to him.

Ooh

Oh, oh, baby

For all they knew, Logan would just reject them. It was few times it seemed possible that Logan would like them, and they internally yelled at themselves for being so delusional that they actually believed that they had a chance with Logan.

Wiping their tears away once again, Kitty huffed to themselves and made their way outside, to get some fresh air, and to escape the loud environment they were in, just for a few minutes.

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes

I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice

My God, I thought you were someone to rely on

Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on

Sitting down on the pavement outside, Kitty hummed to the music that was still able to be heard from inside the building, as they strummed their fingers against their thigh, trying as hard as possible to stop crying, not wanting to embarrass themselves incase anyone went outside and came across them crying on the pavement.

Even though Neptune was rarely cold, even in the winter, with it being in California, the night was surprisingly cold and a shiver ran down Kitty's back, as their teeth lightly chattered. They crossed their arms and continued humming along to the song to themselves.

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart

A man under cover, but you tore me apart

Oh, oh now I've found a real love

You'll never fool me again

The song echoed once more and Kitty kicked slightly at the ground, before chuckling to themselves, mentally noting to find someone else to like by the next year so they could follow in the song's footprints, and give someone special their heart.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special, special

Kitty stood up and wiped their eyes and nose, before continuing to chuckle to themselves, as they headed back to the entrance of the school gym, but not entering it, just wanting to be right outside, so they could still hear the song, but also not be consumed by it and how loud it was.

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

But the very next day you gave it away

This year, to save me from tears

I'll give it to someone special

Special

Kitty sighed as they leaned against the wall, as they sung along to the song under their breath. Maybe they were foolish to think Logan would even like them. Maybe if they weren't stuck in their own lovestruck delusions, they could have noticed any hints pointing towards Logan liking their sister.

Or maybe they couldn't. Maybe Logan intentionally tried to hide any hint of having a crush. It wouldn't surprise them. Both that and him not liking them wouldn't surprise them, to be fully honest.

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart (I gave you mine)

A man under cover but you tore him apart

Maybe next year I'll give it to someone

I'll give it to someone special

The song finally faded out and Kitty let out a sad breath of air, as their brain kept on producing sad thoughts, that they just tried to ignore, which unfortunately was a bit of a challenge, with their situation and sudden disappearance of self-esteem.

Special

So long

#( if you will not have me as myself‚ perhaps as someone else‚ i'll be worth noticing ) ─ angsty writing #( would it be to much to ask to see the world they're living in ) ─ my writing #( you're just a girl‚ just a girl who knows no shame ) ─ self induldgent writing #— you're in my heart; logan echolls x kitty kane #Logan Echolls #Canon x OC #Canon x S/I #Canon x Self Insert #Writing #Logan Echolls x Kitty Kane

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how-the-feathers-have-fallen · 2 years

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you remember this image, right? so I 1. couldn't find the og post about it and 2. went back on the hunt for it's origins.

i still haven't found much, other than an Amino which edited the pic without sourcing where they got it and the og Pinterest post, which says that Ryan said "You can't put your arms around a memory" about it. that's actually a song by Johnny Thunders which Ryan covered in 2012, and also tweeted "Can't put your arms around a memory", but I can't seem to connect that to the image.

and then by the time I got there. Google was no longer letting me image search. so I tried again.

AND ANSWERS WERE FOUND! but only partially

Tinsley Mortimer (from Real Housewives) hosted a New Year's Eve Party At Japonais Presented by SKY New York.

Panic! At The Disco and Pete Wentz were both in attendance to this event, and although I could not find the specific picture, the hair styles match, so you'd think it's this event, or at least circa 2006, right?

well. only maybe. because after looking through the pics, the outfits are completely different!

so now I'm stuck between the picture possibly being taken in late 2005/06 and Ryan having said something in 2012. i still have no idea.

First of all. Pop off Sherlock Holmes! Genuinely idk if this is just you (and honestly me cause I'm way too invested in this) just having extreme brainrot + internet sleuthing or you're cut out to be a detective but I'm so glad to be your John Watson that you just bounce ideas off of.

Now it's currently 1 a.m. and I've just had a mental beak over an art project but my brain is whirling.

Now that I'm looking again this Ryan in the picture looks a lot older than Brendon in the picture (idk maybe it's the scruff) so I'll just play devil's advocate for a second and say this could possibly point to this being a photoshop. Also the the proportions of Ryan's hand to his head feels horribly wrong and the lighting is odd but that could just be attributed to the flash. Maybe the photo was taken and then only slightly edited for quality for publishing or something?

Side note: is there a mark on the back of Ryan's hand there? Is it a tattoo do we know if he has one? I can't believe I'm about to ask this but do we have claer photos of his hands?

Also the glass in the lower left corner that Brendon is holding looks like a stock photo due to the white hue of the unfilled part of the glass but again, that could just be the flash.

These areas specifically:

Bother me.

Because the top one has a weird defined like between the hair where clearly they should have smushed together. This could be attributed to the shitty quality or Brendon's hair being gelled or sweaty but idk i don't think so.

Also the bottom part, Brendon's feels too... smooth? Too blended? Could be pixles. Could not.

Also the song lyric? Hear me out, could be something from a fic. Like you often see tumblr posts or memes on Pinterest and under it you'll see quotes from like a Wattpad story or something. If Ryan supposedly said it once and covered the song then there's no reason why a fan wouldn't use the song for a Ryden songfic. Our hypothetical writer here could have taken those pics from the New year's eve party and photoshoped them for their fic.

Or there could have been an outfit change at the party perhaps?

Also I looked at the years you mentioned and I looked them up. Specifically Brendon in 2006 and Ryan is 2012.

This is Brendon in 2006:

makes sense

And this is Ryan in 2012 (at least according to Google):

Notice the scruff the volume in the haircut/sytle.

Idk this all only 10 mins worth of thinking and I think the Google search of Ryan 2012 shouldn't be completely trusted cause Ryan had kinda stepped out of the lime light so he wasn't taking as many photos and they certainly weren't time stamped as thoroughly. Maybe we could ask bandom tumblr for 2012 Ryan pics? Ya know, for science? The case?

Also through what did you find out about panic!'s + Pete's attendance to the party? An article? Could you share the link? I could read through it for clues or try and find similar articles.

Also this if this American Housewife has a twitter we could check it. See if she posted an photos of it in 2006. Or check Brendon's socials (though I doubt we'll find anything remotely Ryan related there). Also if that fails there's always MySpace (tho that's a limited source since we'll only has archived screenshots) or Livejournal (after all it's proven usefull to the petekey girlies).

Also if you check my tag lexi's cursed ryden pictures and scroll you'll find the original ask you send to me

#lexi 🖤#lexi's cursed ryden pictures #ryden pics in my inbox

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minjoonalist · 2 years

Text

Alexithymia. | JJK +18 [ 1 of 3]

Pairing: Demon!Jungkook x Reader

Rating: Mature +18

Genre: Angst, smut, SoulmatesAU

Word count: 17.8k

Description: Jungkook always had a pull to you. An unexplainable connection that brings him to your side daily, like a permanent routine. Is it a hobby? An obsession? Or was the centuries old prince just bored? No… boredom doesn’t make his heart race. It’s not supposed to make him lose his own self control, or fill him with blinding rage, and it certainly isn’t supposed to have him hallucinating the strangest things until it drives him back home for answers. Maybe he just cares too much for you and he thought that it’d be better to wait than to give in, but the longer the prince spends his time away, the more he realizes he has absolutely no Idea what emotions have been festering since the very beginning. What if he could just turn them off?

Warnings: Cursing, explicit language, mentions of blood, near death experience, some good ole fashion violence, mentions of killing, light smut, Eventual smut, hallucinations, Nipple play, pining, a very pissed and jealous Jungkook.

Song Inspo: Pretty- The Weeknd, Waves- Normani, Softcore- The Neighbourhood, Middle Of The Night- Elley Duhe

Author’s note: This will be a mini series of three parts due to the high word count lol Also In no way am I an expert on demons, all of this is from the top of my head or made up honestly. It’s more of an angsty self-indulgent plot to write demon JK for (several months) so please enjoy and if you want leave your thoughts on it as well! :)

Masterlist | 1 2 3

I. Emotional Arousal

He’s pissed, he was blindingly pissed.

He shouldn’t have been gone for as long as he was and it wasn’t like him to be this stressed about you, running around like a mad man on the hunt.

The problem is… Jungkook, a high ranking demon with much bigger priorities is worried because he isn’t able to feel you anymore. That’s right, the prince could no longer sense the random human girl or her location while he was working and it was driving him crazy. Sneaking off once again like he’s done multiple times to come find you, but you were no longer connected to him.

“Angel, where are you?” He growls loudly out into an empty space while simultaneously ripping your front door open and trying to ease down the anxiety filling him.

The loud bang of the white wood smacking into the wall would be loud enough to scare anyone half to death, had they actually been inside. But that was the problem, there was no one here- meaning you were lost, out into the night where anyone or anything would be able to get their hands on you. He had warned you plenty of times about the night life being far more dangerous when it came to the ungodly creatures lurking around and yet still the only evidence that seemed to be left of you anywhere in your entire home, was only a slight indication of your sweet almond scent marking everything you touched.

Your front door, your kitchen, even the hallway that leads to your living room, it's almost as if you hadn’t been here in days.

Wait...

Noticing something completely off, Jungkook opens his nostrils again. His heightened sense of smell takes in an out of place scent as he walks closer into the cozy space of your living room. It was almost so faint that he nearly missed it in his frantic search. However, It's as if he could see it before he smelt it, another aroma rising from one particular spot on your couch, a spot way too close to where you’d usually be sitting and he’d pop in next to you while you were reading one of those pointless romance books.

It's where he should have found you exactly at this time or at least he knew you’d be studying.

Jungkook couldn’t shake it, the other scent wafting up his nose and taking over yours so much that it began to make his stomach sick and he’d hate to ruin your nice creamy carpet, but now that he was thinking about it, the demon couldn't believe he didn't notice the smell from your front door in the first place. It’s everywhere, following him with every step he takes and it’s so hard to place whatever the hell it could be.

Maybe…it belongs to another person.

He easily concludes this in his investigation, stepping back from the space and glaring at the spot that holds the unwelcomed presence of someone he couldn’t place. Beyond annoyed, Jungkook tries to rid himself of it, needing to badly follow yours and get a sense of where the hell you could have gone off to so late.

He does exactly that, turning back down your dark hallway that leads towards the jarred door that was the opening of your bedroom. Your scent was strongest here, driving up his nose blanketing him in a sweet cocoon of you. The sensation drives him wild almost every time, reminding the powerful demon of the human he’d randomly taken a liking to while surfacing from his home one day.

He couldn’t tell you what made him leave it after a total of only 100 years had passed by, considering he was fairly entertained. He just wanted a change of scenery, tired of the same old routine of tortured souls and being confined to miserable ‘yes men’ serving him just to save face. He needed to roam, move around to new places, even if that meant walking amongst the strange and despicable lives of those who still held them.

Humans.

He’d only been in your realm for a total of two days, before he’d found himself just as bored as being back with his family.

Nothing excited him, the weather was unpredictable, sunny one second and pouring down on him the next. The humans were rude, ruder than his clan somehow and he wasn’t sure how many times he would have to hold himself back from easily wringing the life out of anyone else who wanted to call him an e-boy- minus the hundreds of girls, who for some reason, kept mistaking him for a random k-pop idol.

Jungkook planned to leave within the next moments, having had enough for another century or two, until one day he’d seen something or rather someone.

It was you…trying to open your cheap umbrella in the continuous downpour of rain. What compelled him to rush across the street, nearly getting wrecked by three cars to help you, he once again had no clue and he still didn’t to this day, but as if a magnet had been pulling him along, he ignored every alert of the goosebumps rising on his skin while drawing closer.

Without thinking, Jungkook froze getting near you, a deep shock in his abdomen as his fingers connected on yours once he instinctively reached for the contraption in your hold. As if like magic, Jungkook had taken it and fixed it for you- the tall, raven haired male towering your fair height almost twice and holding out the umbrella you’d damaged trying to open a few minutes prior.

“Uh- Here...you’re getting wet.” He comments carefully while holding it over your head, though with how drenched you’d gotten, you honestly didn’t need it anymore.

You would blink up at him, awe struck with wide sparkling eyes as he stood with hard droplets of rain pelting all over him. “Oh! Thank you… you didn’t have to.”

He’s seen how your eyes roamed all over him in curiosity. All black attire that began to cling to his body, multiple oddly shaped metals pierced into the pale skin of his ears and bottom lip. He has big almond eyes and shoulder length raven hair pulled half way up into a ponytail, or at least from what you could tell as the rain had matted it down to his head.

From the corner of your eye you could vaguely see the small pieces of ink flowing up his neck that you sure lead to the rest of the hand holding out your umbrella.

The intimidating man with the baby face, radiates a powerful aura you’d never experienced from anyone before. It was almost inhuman, as if you were supposed to fall to your knees the second your eyes landed on him. It made your stomach jump and with that goosebumps eroded your skin as well. Bringing in not only an unknown feeling in you, but also filling your soul with unease, as if you were in a horror movie and you’d inadvertently discovered he was the killer.

Well, you weren’t that wrong…In no way, was he to be considered innocent, hell you’d probably be horrified in learning everything he’d done, but Jungkook never had any intentions to harm you. In fact even as he walks away from you- the demon could very well say that there was not much else he found himself thinking about besides you after that day. Your cute expression with your light filled eyes, your attractive pouty lips pulled into a shy smile as he fixed the object for you and then... the sharp spike of arousal inside of you the moment your eyes had connected and you replied with a simple thanks.

That was the first time he sensed you, your sweet scent punching him in the nose so hard he almost began to feel dizzy and it brought him a new high with a light buzz, also making his vision darken in effect. It was like having a bucket of fire thrown upon him, his own skin and body heating up uncontrollably from his fingers to his toes. He’d never experienced anything like that before and along with that thought came the excitement he'd been waiting for.

Jungkook discovered something new.

Something that made him crazy enough to purposely run into you a week later while you were struggling to carry a few groceries out to your car or even the next two days after that since he couldn’t wait that long, where he ran into you at the mall, standing in front of you at the food court in a coincidental encounter.

When he thinks about it now it was almost too obvious and he can’t believe you’ve never asked about that...He was really a full on stalker.

Jungkook always thought about you, bringing you up to his brothers and constantly wondering what you were doing or what you were really like in your daily life. It almost took him too long to realize his obsessive behavior, leaving his duties unattended and finally noticing this craving to have you around all the time. It just kept bringing him back, for more and more- until eventually Jungkook had taken the opportunity to get to know you, fully understanding everything about you as a friend.

He didn’t have many friends…at least not human ones. But, apparently he found you. A random girl with a heart of gold and a soul so pure, it’d actually made him question himself on whether or not he should continue on. It probably would have been best to leave you alone, you didn’t need someone like him in your life and especially not if he would only end up possibly corrupting you later down that line.

...Obviously that idea didn’t last too long.

It was selfish, but Jungkook still came around more often, your small talks turning into heavy conversations. You both began to hang out and eventually you’d begun to notice how much of himself he didn’t reveal to you or that you never knew much of anything about him as he did you and with that, you’d begun to get wary of him. The mysterious man you’d always had a great time being around, seemed a bit too closed off than you would like and to that extent...reluctantly—Jungkook made the risky decision to reveal the most important part of himself.

Who, or rather what he is.

Although the demon was well aware, you weren’t ready to see the unworldly elements of his appearance, he still took to showing and explaining to you the bare minimum of him. Somehow, it wasn’t enough for you to believe him and Jungkook wasn’t sure if he should be relieved or disappointed, because the last thing he wanted to do is to show you his true nature when he barely knew you.

Jungkook huffs, shaking his head at the lost memories as he pushes your bedroom door open. Just thinking about the hardships of your rocky beginning had him cringing before stepping inside, searching around for you.

He still remembers the rough 6 months it took to get you to come back around, how you were skeptical of him at first and figured it was all a joke until you realized how serious the man was. Fear had suddenly become the only emotion you felt for him and you proceeded to think of him as some crazy asshole.

Much later down the line, Jungkook can understand why you’d think that.

He then had to admit that as funny as he found it, he was a little hurt when you told him to stay away from you, threatening to call the police if he so much as breathed in your direction again. Jungkook was not put off by this, because even if you did- the 100 year old demon could easily kill them all within the first five seconds of their arrival but of course you wouldn't know that and he’d never want you to.

Jungkook never wanted you to be afraid of him.

It was just strange however, that while you told him such a request, he could still feel your disappointment in the damaging reveal that resulted in the loss of a new friend. But as you requested… Respectfully, Jungkook went away—at least from your eyesight.

Of course he was still around, the demon couldn’t keep himself away from you even if he tried. It was physically draining at that time and he didn't notice it like he does now. He was always around, watching over you and seeing you interact with others who weren’t him. For the first time in his life, he’d actually experienced sadness. He wanted to talk to you, interact normally with you, and smell that faint scent of yours that used to give him such an amazing high whenever you were together. On the other end, Jungkook wasn’t going to force you and he would wait for you to come around, somehow knowing that on your end...you kind of missed him too.

He just didn’t realize that day would be more than 2 months later and not in the way he hoped.

By then Jungkook had actually gotten busy back at home and while you were still on his mind, he’d grown to always keep another sense for you- which he didn't know he was capable of. Anytime that the demon had crossed your mind- he knew and he saw all of it. Your relieved thoughts wishing him good riddance, your bittersweet memories of the laughs you shared and even a few dreams he’d managed to sneak a peek at. Some of them were formed from your memories, others were concocted from your fears, and the rest-...well lets just say the demon will never understand why your dreams were perfectly timed to stop whenever you and a faceless man had begun to inch too close to each other. Rarely did you ever have them though and sometimes he wondered what could ever be the cause of them…Though, now he has a pretty good idea.

There was also another sense, one he always hopes you would never have to use again. One day you fell...hard. A terrible accident of you slipping in your shower and breaking your arm while also creating a lethal blow to the back of your head. In fear you laid on the shower floor, hot water spraying over your injured figure and you couldn’t call for help, hell you were barely conscious enough to.

Jungkook didn't know how, but he could feel it, something was wrong, you weren’t okay and wherever you were, he needed to be there and fast. The whispers slithering around in his head and an unclear image of you popping up behind his eyelids. It could have been from the silent pleas in your head or the pure emotion of terror pulling him to you, but Jungkook had found you, Appearing out of thin air in a steamy blur of your bathroom and ultimately scaring you half to death in your pitiful state. When he found you, he was so horrified that he didn’t pay attention to your scent causing a dangerous reaction to him and his body.

His vision went dizzy and his mana began to seep from his fingers, but none of that was too big or too important when he was watching you slowly die in front of his eyes.

He remembers the tears slipping down your beautiful face and mixing in with the red water flowing down—…red…water? The blood, Fuck, you were bleeding so much!

Jungkook could still remember his panic after noticing the crimson liquid being produced from the back of your head- coating the strands of your wet tangled hair. His breathing became labored as something shifted in him and you were still conscious right up to the point where you could see the shocking changes to his features. Deepening veins crinkle around his face connecting to his pitch back eyes…skin turning a sickening gray as his teeth poked to the top of his lip.

You were holding your arm, the life in your eyes dimming out by the second while looking confused and more terrified than ever as you silently pleaded for this not to be your end. You truly thought He was going to kill you and that realization overwhelmed you completely.

Needless to say you passed out as soon as you saw whatever was happening to him, eventually leaving him in a hasty and awkward situation to gather you up from your position and covering up your bare body.

Jungkook’s hands shook unknowingly, feeling your life force fade by the second and he moved quicker, suddenly concentrating enough to heal you and bring you back to your normal state. Which actually might’ve been something you would have wanted to be unconscious for, because there was no way you’d want to experience the smoky black essence that had begun to slither out from Jungkook’s hands and into your head. It was never a pretty process, at least not in the rarest of times that he’s had to use it. It pained him to watch you groan and cry in your sleep, but at least they were signs of you still being alive.

It took a lot of his energy to bring you back from the brink of death, but Jungkook did it anyway, exhausting himself in the end. So much that when he was done- the black blood dripping from his nose, he collapsed next to your unconscious form and waited with you, just for a couple of minutes and then he would leave when he felt you were okay.

He overestimated his impulsiveness, those minutes slowly turned to hours as time passed and it was purely unintentional, he couldn’t find it in himself to leave you. The more Jungkook stayed by your side the more he had begun to feel comforted by you and the less he felt panicked by your sudden injuries, nor by the idea that you would slip away permanently.

When you came to, in your bed later that night, you’d tried to write it off as a horrible dream. However it wasn’t and you quickly came to that realization, because he was still right beside you on your bed, watching you and holding your healed figure so tight you were sure it would eventually cut off your air intake.

He felt your inner turmoil, the anger, the relief, and another feeling he couldn’t quite decipher. All he knew was that your heart was beating way too fast for him to keep up and that your scent had gotten just a little stronger.

He wondered if you could smell him the way he smells you, reveling in it and inhaling as much as he could before you’d eventually push him away again. He knew it was coming any moment, Jungkook could feel the fear and the confusion, knowing that you were aware of the dull pain emanating from the back of your head and your arm. You still had your memories and it was baffling how quick you came to the realization that absolutely none of that was in your mind and Jungkook was actually something that wasn’t meant to be a part of your mundane life.

Yet, by the look of the crimson blood staining his shirt and your bed sheets…there was some explaining that needed to be done.

Jungkook knew you had many questions and were probably still too shaken up to figure out which one you wanted to ask. Not to mention that he was still the last person you wanted to see, so he didn't mind your uncomfortable state in his arms. It wasn’t until time slowly passed again that he’d heard you speak to him for the first time in months with your actual voice. He couldn’t help but hold his breath to your soft tone, so small and precious…it made him melt inside.

“The last thing I remember is… my shower.” You hesitate, well aware how much stiffer he’d gotten as it connects to his ears. Jungkook’s body froze intensely from hearing you and although he was excited, he couldn’t bring himself to answer because he refused to think you actually wanted to speak to him. He wondered if that was all you truly wanted to say, still feeling the huge mix of emotions, because you had to have noticed the blood over his shirt.

“Is that…my b-blood?” You had so much fear asking that, lip trembling at the thought as your eyes zoned in on the out of place stain.

“Unfortunately, it is Angel.” He swallows.

Your eyes water, scoffing at the ironic pet name. “Am I dead?”

He frowns and shakes his head, even though you couldn’t see him. It’s probably best if he answered you honestly. “You… were half dead when I found you. You almost didn’t make it if I hadn’t helped…”

You peered at him lost. “How did you know?”

He shrugs with you still in his arms “I heard your voice call out for help, it was so sad that I followed it and… it led me here. I managed to stop the severe bleeding to your head, but your arm may hurt for a couple of days. I’m sorry, I didn’t have enough energy to heal it fully.” He then cautiously explains it to you as simply as he could and you try your best not to let your tears drop in front of him from the recent thoughts.

“Don’t apologize, I-It's not like you had to help me.” You say more embarrassed than anything.

You nearly died and you were actually saved by a self-proclaimed demon. The same one who’d transformed into something horrifying right before your eyes, but is also holding you close to him for dear life, as if you were his only comfort.

Jungkook…the man or thing you insulted and told to stay hell away from you and he’s the very reason you’re still breathing. What does he want from you? He didn’t have much of a connection to a random person like you. Is he watching you?

“I know, but I wanted to.” Jungkook hesitates after another long silence...anxious to ask you something that's got him on edge. “Are...you scared of me?”

You nod, making his chest burn in response and at the time Jungkook didn’t understand why he cared so much.

“I was at first when I thought you were here to kill me or that I imagined you before dying.” You sniffle, your weary voice then following. “b-but, I think I’m just confused more than anything. I don’t understand why or how you helped me.”

I don’t understand you. Is what you were truly thinking and Jungkook could very well say the same thing.

You were beginning to think you were going crazy, letting yourself feel safe within his arms and allowing some unworldly creature into your life under that title. But in the moment, underneath all your fears and doubts, you were actually happy to have someone there who cares for your well being-even if he wasn’t human.

You live alone and your estranged family is miles away from you, making it highly doubtful that no one else but Jungkook could have found you before it was too late. There was no telling what could have happened to you if he didn’t and that thought had stuck with you even within the next couple of weeks that the man had disappeared again.

There wasn’t much else you’d seen of Jungkook and whether you noticed it, you had begun thinking of him more often once he was gone. He always saw that night replaying over in your mind continuously even while he was too busy with his duties. There were a few times he swore he heard you call out to him again, but every time he ignored his urges. Watching the images of you in his head and keeping a safe distance until he’d heard you again within a desperate rush.

Why the hell does he keep hearing you like this? And Jungkook never stops himself from following it.

When he found you, this time it was you and your co-worker Min Yoongi being held up by what looks like a hooded man pointing a weapon towards both of you. He could tell you’d just come from work, that hideous uniform making its first appearance to him and he mentally swore one day he would burn it.

Which Jungkook definitely did. Twice.

He takes his time to assess the situation and the look of concern coming to his friend’s face. He really needed to act fast, before it all goes wrong, the both of you being in serious danger. Well at least not for long, not after he’d taken the liberty to come behind the robber too fast for you to comprehend. It didn’t take more than two seconds before the both of you heard a sick crack of the man’s neck, followed by the clatter of his gun. In the next second Jungkook was gone as well as the robber, leaving you and your friend baffled in silence.

“What the fuck was that?” Yoongi frowns, stepping from in front of you to make sure you’re alright. You shake your head feigning innocence while also willing your heart to stop the erratic beating as your mind replays the whir of a tall and dark figure appearing and disappearing with what you assume to be the now dead offender.

“I don’t think I could give you an answer for that.” You swallow, still processing the moment.

You tried your best to push away the panic after that event, but something deep in your gut was telling you it was possible and for some reason you hoped that was the case. Was that? No way...You would immediately think of only one possibility which of course would lead back to the only abnormal thing in your life and that was Jungkook.

He saved your life again, you quickly realized and from that moment, there wasn’t a day that passed by and you didn’t think of him. Sometimes he could even feel when you wanted to call out to him again, your questions still left unanswered as to what happened that night and why your friend suddenly couldn’t remember a thing the next day.

As much as he had tried to ignore you like before- your cries had become stronger than ever by the day, beckoning him to you- especially when he’d begun to feel a deep sadness in you as time had passed on.

Jungkook didn’t like this, he’d never sensed it on you before and it was so strange to feel it from you so often. He’d gone back to watching over you himself, seeing you be so lively in front of all your other friends and masking down the unknown pain you’d been feeling for a while.

You felt alone.

Apparently you’d felt that way for a very long time. When you were by yourself, he felt your true emotions- even when you took it upon yourself to go out one night to a bar.

Jungkook couldn’t stop himself from following you, watching in the background once again ( truly not his proudest moments.) and seeing you drink yourself to the point where you couldn’t tell your left from your right. At first he didn't think too much about it until he heard your slurred words leaving softly from your mouth, though they should normally be swallowed by the deep bass of an upbeat song blasting throughout the dark scene.

Jungkook felt his body go cold, your face stricken with despair. It was enough of an image to tug on his emotions, which strangely had been harder to keep a control on.

He kept on watching you drink consistently, more and more as if you were trying to drown within them. Being drunk wasn’t a good look on you and especially not when so many others were watching you with ill intentions. By others, he means...the rather unmerciful creatures hiding amongst your kind. The ones who could easily be drawn to the purest part of your soul and would then run off with you somewhere else to devour you without batting an eye.

Unsurprisingly, that disgusting thought had Jungkook caving, knowing any of them could easily be apart of his bloodline.

It had become unbearable to watch you continue on like you did and without much more thought, he’d left from his dark corner, hiding him well within the crowded space. The demon maneuvers around the multiple bodies on the dance floor, making his way across the lively building and heading your way once he’d notice an unpleasant scent of another too close to you.

Jungkook searched, his enhanced eyesight flitting around the dark scene until he saw it standing beside you and leaning comfortably against the table, blocking any way out for you. A sick grin is plastered on its face as it talks nonsense in your ear and it was disgusting to see the murderous intent hidden well behind its eyes, but not from Jungkook. He could see well within its blood driven thoughts, if not, what would even be the point of his high ranking if he can’t see every move of the underlings.

“She’s mine. Fuck off…” Jungkook growls deeply under his breath in a menacing manner. It's all he has to say to have a horrified look replacing the creature's smug expression.

Those murderous eyes, flit around the room and towards him with nothing but fear dancing behind it’s pupils. He’d barely put any effort or authority in the command, but it had heard him enough as if he was standing right beside it. Jungkook’s dark essence encased the creature within it’s head and it swore it nearly saw the prince ripping the life from its body.

Just like he wanted…honestly they always had the weakest minds to access.

The creature had conveniently taken the form of an attractive human male, most likely looking for its next meal. He didn't give a damn what it had planned for you but what he does know is that if it isn’t gone by the time he was walking up to you- the creature would never have a chance to blink before Jungkook would have fulfilled exactly what was seen in it’s head.

The creature was smart when it took off afterwards. It disappeared within the next second, no questions and especially no hesitancy within the prince’s presence. You’d frown, wondering where the random guy had run off to, before a familiar scent of mint burned strong in your nostrils and your blurry eyesight was able to make out a familiar face standing right beside you out of nowhere.

“Boo.” He whispered and your body was stiffening. Suddenly you could hear your heart beating rapidly in your ears and it felt as if someone had knocked all the air out of you as you flinched back.

“Jung-kook…?” He could barely make out through your grumbled pronunciation.

He sighs at the unfortunate situation. “You should be home, Y/n-”

Before he could finish, you’re letting out a strange giggle that was swallowed up by your extreme intoxication. Your eyes half lidded when you slam your hand down to make your point and you swung it towards him. “You are wat-ching me. I-I knew it…I felt it.”

He grimaces from the hearty burp following those words and the redness of your eyes staring somewhat in his direction. Of course he was watching you, he never stopped …and you knew that? You couldn’t have.

“Y/n, how many do you see of me?” Jungkook goes on to ask, waving an inked hand in front of your eyes that you definitely weren’t following.

You then squint as if you were thinking hard about the question. “Ummmm...di- you always h-have a twin?” You hiccup.

The man suddenly frowned under all the ruckus and music...There was no way you were getting home without him.

How are you suddenly this reckless?

Irritated, Jungkook grabs your hand without warning and leads you out of the area with haste, before anyone or anything could target you again. He then leads both of you out of the club and onto the sidewalks of the dark, empty street.

You tried your best to keep your stomach down, groaning as the big scary man walked both of you out of sight and into a dark alley beside the busy building. Thankfully you were too drunk to comprehend much, that meant Jungkook didn’t have to go through the miserable task of walking you home. Instead, all he had to do was keep you beside him- an arm grabbing you and pulling you so close, anyone would assume both of you were just an average couple.

You two are most definitely not…well you were pretty normal, Jungkook was the one that just couldn’t stay away from you.

He doesn’t know if it was because of how pissed he was or maybe he was just too focused to pay attention to your heartbeat speeding up from the close proximity, but he definitely missed your audible gasp from the move.

It clearly didn’t matter, the one goal he had for that night was to make sure he got you home safe. Which, technically... he did- but it wasn’t as quick and simple as he’d foolishly hoped it would be.

The only way to describe your sudden transition, would be as if the both of you were just walking casually down the alley way of the city and when he hugged you closer, a two second blur passed over your eyes and you were suddenly walking through the entrance of your apartment. There was no sound, no sparkles or magical effects to signify the inhuman move...just him.

Jungkook immediately removes himself completely from you, stepping away to another part of your living room as if he couldn’t stand to be any closer.

“Go to bed.” He then suggests, with a somewhat disappointed gaze.

Somehow... that hurt both him and you to say.

You pout suddenly trying to sober yourself up and you didn’t want him to go away again. You wanted to know more, you couldn’t understand why when you shut him out and clearly wanted nothing to do with him.

“ But I-...you...?”

Normally there would have been more fight in you from the command, but with the after effects of all those drinks, your body felt as if it was ready to shut down any moment.

Even Jungkook could sense your low energy, watching your uneven stance as you were swaying side to side but ultimately trying to keep yourself awake enough to say something to him. The man was seriously starting to question why he even had such a strong pull to you- but the second he noticed your body swaying a bit too far for his liking, all those thoughts had shot out the window.

Jungkook had sprung forward from the distance he tried putting between both of you– catching you within unreal speed before your entire body could collide with the floor. Instead you had landed safely within his arms, the man groaning in exhaustion that he now had to walk with you all the way to your bedroom, because there was no point using up more of his energy to teleport both of you there when it was only a few feet away. Still, it was never supposed to go this far and you definitely weren’t supposed to meet him again after the last time he helped.

Why were situations like this becoming so damn hard?

It was too late to make sense of it, even in your intoxicated state and you’d just be dumb to think this was a dream. Jungkook, a man who is a demon...and has saved your life so many times that it might as well be a cliché, had taken you home from his own volition and brought you to bed with absolutely no complaint.

Towards the very end of that encounter, once again you’d managed to thank him like before, drowsy, half-way conscious. You then panicked because when you finally had the opportunity to see him again, You blew it. Drowning yourself in alcohol to avoid the obsessive thoughts you always had of him and the small hunch in the back of your mind telling you that he is always near.

He’s not dangerous...in-fact you’d know better to think he actually cares about you, but Jungkook didn’t know that you were beginning to understand that, putting your theory about him watching over you to the test and Jungkook had passed with flying colors.

Meanwhile Jungkook, feeling stupid enough to let you see him again, was ready to leave as fast as possible. He remembers setting you down gently onto your bed and slightly missing the feel of your body in his arms, but it was a small emotion that he could easily bury to the back of his mind. He was ready to let go and maybe even ignore the odd pull to you once and for all until something soft had grabbed weakly for his hand when he’d begun to turn away.

Again, he overestimated his impulsiveness.

He flinches in the process, his guard crumbling so easily and he’s looking down towards his wrist to see you staring up at him with those wide starry eyes he’d first met you with.

“Please…stay.” Jungkook’s face screwed up in confusion, you were barely able to finish that last sentence before slipping into unconsciousness and letting him go as you passed out with slumber.

Stay? No, absolutely not. He shouldn’t– he can’t…Jungkook won’t.

He breathes in, encouraging himself to leave and to move his feet, but that never quite worked out. In-fact Jungkook has become comfortable watching you sleep peacefully, your dreams of a faceless man again coming up and he watches them like a movie. Your smile bright as ever, leaning into someone with raven cropped hair and a toothy smile. You both looked perfect together and some part of him envied that even while it wasn’t real.

He’d laid beside you, plenty of space apart, going over every last feature and detail of your face. He was content, the bored void inside him faded and Jungkook never realized how dangerous that feeling was so easy to become addicted to.

He didn’t know that's where it all began.

Skipping over the next few months of your developing friendship, Jungkook had begun to pop in and out more often whether you wanted him to or not- kind of like this moment and after the past few years, You’d gotten accustomed to it, no longer jumping out of your skin at the sight of a gorgeous demon appearing in your home or at your side to talk to you at any moment. You’ve grown to not be scared of him, you wholeheartedly trust Jungkook with your life and he could say the same. Spending hours of your free-time together, talking and teaching him about the latest trends or simply enjoying each other's presence.

You became a safe haven for him. When Jungkook was stressed, he came to you, when he’s tired he comes to you, and if he was just bored from working…he spent the rest of his time with you. Under all that consistency, there's no one else who could bring him the same kind of peace. He respected you and cared for you, but at some point Jungkook knows it’s grown to be more than that.

He loves having you around, it’s exhilarating every time, making his heart beat faster than usual and he had to admit the thought of your body against his brought unspeakable, filthy ideas to his mind, but Jungkook had never entertained the idea of truly being with you before and maybe that was because of his inability to think you’d never want to be with anyone else than him.

Clearly that had changed.

He realizes that maybe he’d taken that thought for granted, because he really doesn’t want anyone other than you. He’s definitely unable to skip the idea of confessing to you the second he sees you, thoughts of knowing someone was here not too long ago, sending him into a fearsome state and if that wasn’t enough then maybe it was also the pure anger that he couldn’t only smell you anymore but that putrid scent he was beginning to loathe. The mixed smells waft around your bedroom and it’s enough to almost have him losing control, because no one else should be able to touch you.

You are his and his only-... wait, no you’re not…you’re actually just friends, because Jungkook is a dumbass who never made his move. Still that didn’t mean he couldn’t hope you weren’t sleeping with other people.

It feels like Jungkook was walking on a thin line- balancing himself from tipping over. Too much is going through his head, his jealousy and anxiety on your well being confusing him more than ever. Something about this situation is completely off to him and he was more possessive than usual, so worked up that he can’t seem to let himself feel any different as if an invisible force was playing around with him.

Jungkook can’t think straight.

“I’m getting too worked up over nothing. We’re just friends.” He whispers silently to no one, feeling as the mana lowers as well as his anger. The only problem is, it feels like his body won’t listen to him anymore.

Trying one more time, Jungkook begins to think of you. He closes his eyes, taking in a long breath as the whispers in his head begin to fill the silence. He focuses on them, a blurry vision attempting to get a hold of his usual connection to you, only to fizzle out moments later with no progress. Jungkook goes back in again and tries so hard to reach you, that the energy from it actually triggers a freakish spark to your room and hallway lights, dimming them out completely and leaving him there pitifully within the dark silence.

He never thought feeling nothing could ever be so terrifying.

Suddenly, his chest begins to tighten and he can't breathe as something overcomes him. A highly noticeable sharpening comes to his vision as Jungkook lets out a powerful wave of frustration. In the dark, while his eyes are being covered in pitch black, the veins in his face surface with the same color. His skin then turns a lighter shade of pale gray and immediately Jungkook panics, closing his eyes briefly before shutting them tight then intaking a deep breath of air.

If you came, you wouldn’t want to see him like this…then again, what if you had someone else with you and you were still with them? What if you brought him back and Jungkook lashes out at him, you’d definitely hate him afterwards. Fuck, his thoughts just went in a huge unreasonable circle.

He shouldn’t be this possessive, but something was clearly telling him otherwise. Jungkook just can’t shake those thoughts. He doesn’t want you to be scared of him again.

You’re allowed to hang with others besides him and Jungkook knew that, you were never alone-albeit you did have few friends including Yoongi, but you were still a highly likable person. He didn’t have the right to question who you were into, but damn if it didn’t have him seeing red or better yet-black at the possibility, especially being that he has absolutely no idea who it could possibly be.

He opens his eyes as his vision begins to get back to normal, his gaze landing on the small but open space of your bedroom.

Like many times before he’s seen the familiar baby pink shade to your walls, the various bots of random plants he had no clue the purpose of. The cute white vanity on one side of the room and a tall glass mirror on the other where he constantly finds you getting ready. Lastly in the middle- your neatly made up queen sized bed with cream sheets, a thousand plushies and too many matching baby pink pillows to count. He’s seen all of this before and even laid there with you while watching some kind of princess movie called Disney? Whatever, that's not what's important right now and it's not like he was actually paying attention anyway.

Not with you so close to him.

Jungkook couldn’t seem to get the image out of his head- the memory of both of you cuddled together, his arms wrapped securely around your waist and you lying comfortably on his chest as the light from the screen highlighted your soft features in your sleep. A feeling of absolute content washes over him and there was nowhere else Jungkook would rather be than there. He loved the position mostly because it allowed him to feel your heartbeat, and more so the way it would speed up or skip whenever you felt him shift under you as if you were hyper aware of his very presence. It was the kind of feeling where Jungkook would actually think maybe he had that same effect on you like you did him- except you just never showed it and you were surprisingly good at it for someone whose mind is easily accessible.

Though there have been times where Jungkook would get a glimpse of your thoughts and he had to admit, the shocking images that would randomly sprinkle in once in a while of him—he would immediately regret ever taking a look, abruptly springing up and removing you from him to hide his sudden horniness.

You can’t imagine how frustrating it is for him, when you’re showing him thoughts like that, but he can’t sense your feelings towards him and he gets even more antsy when he can't sense you at all.

Just like this moment.

Jungkook hasn’t seen you in almost an entire month, part of that mostly being the prince’s fault. He’d gone home, a while back, atoning for his neglect over his reign. It was only right, leaving to attend to important matters and clearing whatever he had left undone. However, was that really the only reason?

Jungkook felt like a coward. Shame entering his chest whenever he found himself around you before that. He couldn’t stop thinking about it, a strong urge inside him whenever he gets too close to you. He’ll never know what triggered this strange behavior, but he does remember the exact day it had begun.

1 year and a few months…

He came just before you did, hearing you huff out a weary breath as you stepped through your bedroom door. When you do, your eyes instinctively scan the space, not disappointed when they fall towards your bed to find your friend waiting in a very comfortable position against your headboard like always.

You pause to adjust, a line coming over your lips to hide your tired smile at the scene of him playing with your pink bunny plushie. In a way, it oddly reminds you of him- cute, but mischievous as he tosses it in the air and catches it to bend the arms gently.

for some reason he always chooses that specific toy.

“You know. If you like Cooky so much you can keep him.” You say walking in further and bending forward to slip your nude heels off of your feet to get comfortable. “I mean he’s practically your twin, except with all the redeeming qualities of course.”

Jungkook’s eyes snap from the little character and over to you as if he hadn’t been expecting you to walk through the door. You knew he could sense you very easily, so you doubt he didn’t hear you arriving home on a Sunday afternoon.

You were right, however, Jungkook could always tell when you were close and that was because he could always hear your thoughts whispering to him at random. Like how relieved you were to see him after a long day of faking your social life with a group of your old college classmates you clearly didn’t care for.

What Jungkook wasn’t expecting, was to see you walking in with a much different attire than he was used to…

“Just because he’s fluffy and incredibly handsome doesn’t mean you get to compare him to the original.” You hear him say while also hearing movement from your bed as he shifts to face you.

You turn to make a face at him. “He is the original.”

Jungkook fakes being hurt with a hand to his chest and then tosses Cooky down, back into the spot you had him before. He watches you silently with a curious gaze, as if thinking hard about what he’s seeing and you realize that the second he looks your way, he hasn’t looked anywhere since. That was evident enough when you walked over towards your mirror only to meet his unwavering gaze in the reflection.

He gives you a once over, face blank of any thoughts and you’re silently trying to distract yourself from the way it had begun to make you squirm. They follow slowly down your back, arching a brow when your dress stops only a few inches above mid-thigh.

“I’ve never seen you in a dress like that before.” He comments, but from his expression you can’t tell whether it was good or bad.

It was definitely good.

“That's because I only wear it when there's actually people around to impress.” You tease and Jungkook then hears you clear your throat from his silent response. Your arms reach up and bend back attempting to unzip the back of the fitted silk dress when a nervous thought enters your head.

Your fingers were beginning to fumble, suddenly feeling under fire from the Judging gaze and it was strange, because you never truly cared whether or not anyone had approved of the way you looked. Apparently, that kind of mentality didn’t matter when it came to the prince. Then again, nothing about your friendship was normal since the beginning.

After attempting to unzip for an embarrassing amount of time, your eyes are meeting Jungkook in the mirror again, an amused smile being held back as he nibbles on his lip ring from your clumsiness.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” You ask slightly annoyed.

“No, don’t mind me. I’m just watching you at your most impressive.” He nods while folding his arms, feigning innocence.

You’re immediately rolling your eyes, landing on the inky bulge of his bicep under the oversized black graphic tee. You then realized the kind of rockish look he’d gone for- his long hair, styled half-way back as usual and he was also wearing a pair of black cargos bunched at the chunky soled boots.

He then arches a brow, patiently waiting for the inevitable. You frown, not at him, but more so to yourself for noticing. “Shut up and just help me already.”

“I didn’t say anything…” He chuckles with a shrug.

“You didn’t have to.” You then grumble as your face heats up. You honestly have to stop giving him opportunities to let his arrogant side through. It feels like the longer you know him, the more aware you’re becoming of it.

Jungkook suddenly laughs, moving to stand from his position when he decides to put you out of your misery. Honestly, it was really easy to get you flustered sometimes and Jungkook always enjoyed that a little too much.

Suddenly, when he prepares to take a stride towards you, something shakes Jungkook to the pit of his stomach. He’s only one step in when his world turns abruptly and the laugh begins to die on his lips from your reaction.

What…the…?

You didn’t notice his sudden expression within the mirror, dipping your head low to allow access at the top and under your hair while also hiding your slight embarrassment.

Something had reached Jungkook’s nose…your scent…He- can smell you again, but it’s different. This time it's incredibly strong, wafting into his senses as he takes a step forward and Jungkook frowns from the odd amount. Each breath becomes labored when he comes closer to your awaiting figure, trying his best to play it off in his hazy state. It was like inhaling a poisonous gas, except every pull became more addicting than the last and Jungkook felt like he was losing more of himself within it.

You’re completely clueless, staring off to wherever your mind has gone, probably keeping yourself preoccupied with whatever wasn’t Jungkook. Meanwhile, his body was becoming exceptionally hot stepping behind you and he held his breath, casually reaching for the lodged metal trapping you within the soft material of such a beautiful dress.

A sudden image of him taking it off of you comes to him and he frowns from the rush of the sight- adrenaline flowing through his hands. Where the hell did that come from? He thinks a bit worriedly and brushes it off as fast as it had come. Jungkook then tries to focus and fiddles with the zipper, successfully freeing the material that was caught in between and on accident, exhales in relief only to breathe again.

Now, Jungkook felt really weak.

A light buzz fills his head when he allows himself to smell again. Something within his vision then blacks out, causing him to blink multiple times as his eyes darken in effect to adjust. He grips to pull on the object fully until he’s mildly aware of the sudden movement within your reflections. At first it’s too subtle, but his hyper senses had his skin prickling with unease and there's suddenly a deep chill up his spine.

Jungkook tenses further, slowly looking up to find that you’re staring straight into his eyes un-moving and almost lifeless. He’s stuck, unable to free himself of whatever creepy trance your pointed gaze had him in and all the heat within his chest had begun to move down into the pit of his stomach- creating a fierce hunger inside.

“Is something wrong?” You tilt your head, a strangely confident look flashing in your eyes as if you were silently taunting him. Your face hides an unknown emotion, egging him on to continue and its shocking shift from your personality before. Almost terrifying.

“Jungkook-?”

His heart nearly plummets from the way you say his name.“-No everything is fine.” He barely mumbles, unable to look away within your stare.

“Then why did you stop?” You ask, interrupting him. To Jungkook your voice sounds much different. Thicker and lower as if you were purposely making it that way and completely different to the normal lightness it usually had.

“Should I keep going?” He asks, confused.

It feels like a strange tension had fallen over the both of you so suddenly and with the way Jungkook couldn’t ignore your sensual pull, his breath is once again caught, watching you cutely bite your bottom lip and say.

“Touch me…”

When those words fall from your lips, your eyes are slowly being covered in pitch black as your innocent smile turns into one of seduction. He notices by the way you both stand there closer to each other, how much your chest had begun to rise harder and there was no mistaking the lust behind your intentions.

This can’t be real.

A desperate look then falls over your face and expression becoming hooded, making his own eyes widened in shock. He then flinches, eyebrows dipping when your body inches closer to his.

“Y/n? Fuck, why are you looking like that?” Without thinking, he lifts the inked hand, pressing to the middle of your back and holding down the silk material- but something stopped him from moving, like a red siren flashing back and forth inside his head.

He swears it was meant to hold you in place, but the contact of you against his hand burns, shooting all the way up his arm.

“Please, Jungkook.” Your hands fall onto the mirror in front of you, purchasing there while moving your ass back onto him impatiently. You were then pressing your thighs together, a fucked out expression on your face that he’d never seen on you before.

Why does this turn him on? He shakes his head, but the movement feels like he hasn’t moved an inch. However, that soon becomes another case when he’s moving again. Like a mind of its own, Jungkook’s hand slowly began to lower the zipper without his doing, it was like he was having an outer body experience.

He breathes harder, watching the peaks of your soft skin as your dress slowly begins to unravel from your torso and he’s pretty sure he’s harder than ever- stifling a groan as your ass rubs against his crotch, burning him wherever the both of you touch.

He couldn’t think, slowly giving in to your soft whimpers whispering within his ear and your dress was beginning to fall down further, revealing the swells of your breasts. Your nipples are hard against your bedroom’s air, the visual tipping Jungkook closer over the edge and he can’t help himself but to do exactly what you’d asked of him.

“Touch me now Jungkook.”

“Okay.”

This shouldn’t be happening. Jungkook’s body was bending to meet yours, his hands slipping forward and underneath what was left of the silky material covering you. Instantly, he hears your voice coated in sugar as a moan falls past your lips, feeling his large inked hands palm your chest and pressing your back into him.

His mouth instinctively lands to the column of your neck, your head leaning further to allow him full access and Jungkook takes advantage of it, placing wet kisses here and there, sucking as his hands begin to knead at your supple breasts. He tugs at your nipples, hearing a squeak from your end and feels his mouth water, wondering what you would sound like if he was actually fucking you in this moment. Would you scream his name if he had his cock buried inside you, your hands gripping his hair between your legs?

He wants to experience all of it, the dark desire of ripping off your panties and rolling his hips against your ass over and over just so he could watch the both of you in this mirror until you were cumming around him with only his name in your mouth.

“Jungkook...it’s too hot.” You’re gasping, arching your back and he loves the way it falls helplessly from your lips, so gentle and sweet.

Jungkook feels one of your hands reaching back for his hair, fingers searing his scalp as they tangle within it. He nips, sucking on the skin and biting down as a shiver racks through you.

“I’m fucking burning.” He agrees and continues through the sweet burn of your skin on his mouth, trailing behind your shoulder and down your spine- listening to the sweet melodies of his name coming from your mouth just as one had starts to leave your dress and caresses up the skin of your inner thigh.

So close, he’s so close to feeling you and he didn’t know he wanted to this much.

“Jungkook, please.”

“Yes, Angel.” He gives a kitten lick to the small of your back, fingers finally reaching towards the top as he was nearly drooling to tug your dress off.

Just a little more–

“Jungkook?” You frown at your daydreaming friend.

“—Huh?” As if suddenly jolting awake, Jungkook sees you lift your head with innocent eyes, nothing compared to what he’d just been through in the last few seconds. Your scent isn’t as strong to him as before and you were definitely still fully clothed, waiting patiently for him to unzip the back of your dress just like before.

What? How did he get right here? His heart races to understand.

You scoff. “Were you seriously not listening to me all this time?”

Jungkook’s mouth opens slightly, speechless when you’re rolling your eyes in the reflection as a playful glare makes its way onto your face. “If this is your way to act cute from what I said, it’s not working. Are you going to unzip me or am I going to have to call Yoongi over to help?”

Jungkook tries his best to recover, unable to form any words or thoughts after whatever was just imagined in his head. He had you, your breasts, your body writhing within his hands, begging for him and none of that was real- but it sure as hell felt like it. The worst part is that he suddenly really wants it to be and there's no denying it from the slow tightening in his pants.

Jungkook then releases a shaky breath, trying to come up with any kind of solution as to why he saw that, but nothing comes to mind. All he knows is that he wants to get far away from you as possible right now.

He clears his very dry throat. “Sorry, something came over my thoughts. What were you saying?”

Jungkook watches your eyes snap to him again in a blank stare, instant fear shaking him to his core at the Deja-vu of the gaze. This is until you had a beautiful smile gracing your features and your eyes shining like stars instead of that chilling black, showcasing a smug humor within your gaze along with a small amount of something behind it.

A different emotion Jungkook would continue to push down from then on, but first he needed a long and cold shower.

He feels utterly helpless.

What kind of a dumbass leaves for an entire month and can’t find the one person who anchors them to the closest thing they could call love. Your connection to him was too weak to track. It made him worry, like a dark cloud was falling over him without seeing you as much and he’d almost begun to feel the emptiness of his existence again.

He suddenly sighs to himself in the middle of the silent room, but he was sure there was nothing silent about the way you actually had his emotions bouncing off of the walls. Jungkook still couldn’t control his anger and he definitely couldn’t shake the dark paranoia of you being with someone else while he was gone.

Is Jungkook too late? Did he miss his opportunity too many times?

The man had been gone for a while...but, at least he warned you first. He actually took the time out of his day to tell you that he would be going back home for a few days.

Then again, those days slowly turned into weeks and the weeks turned into a full month of no communication, because at some point those thoughts of you had begun to feel so real and with no warning. They were uncontrollable and Jungkook figured having some time to himself could help, but that's his fault because he blames himself for ignoring his growing feelings.

Now he just couldn’t control them…

“...Jungkook?”

The black blood inside of his veins freezes over his body as the familiar voice of someone that wasn’t you, sounds within the thin walls of your bedroom, followed by a very familiar scent. He doesn’t want to turn around, even with his high level of mana but odds are he would be greeted with someone he didn’t want to see and now really wasn’t a good time.

Not while he couldn’t think.

“Hyung, what are you doing here?” He asks hesitantly.

“What do you mean what am I doing here? I’m checking on you as always.” The silver haired King speaks up from his stance. “I hope you have a good reason to be standing in the middle of your girlfriend’s bedroom, aren’t you supposed to be home right now?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” Jungkook slowly turns his head, his back stiffening in effect of his anger still residing within him. Right there within his smaller stature Min Yoongi’s coal black eyes stare away at the Demon’s face.

The shorter, but much stronger man walks in skeptically and Jungkook doesn’t say anything, while staring at him like a wounded animal in the dark. “You can spare me the consistent bullshit on how you’re just friends with her for once. I watch over the both of you all the time, I’m not dumb Jungkook.”

As if he’d just noticed something odd, Yoongi feels a powerful surge completely out of place and radiating from his tortured friend. It’s almost enough to have his full body going on alert, his concentration centering on one conclusion and Yoongi isn't sure how he couldn’t have sensed Jungkook before he got here.

“You-…why do you look like you’re ready to rip someone’s throat out?” He then points out, not as a question but more of a statement.

“Because I am.” Jungkook turns towards him. He breathes, trying to get a grip on himself for his friend’s sake. “I came here to see Y/n, but I can’t get a handle on her. I’ve been getting this terrible sense that something is wrong and…I can’t feel her anymore.”

“You want to see her looking like that?” Yoongi points to him as a scowl comes to his face. Jungkook’s eyes were pitch black, skin pale and fingers shaped into claws. He looks like a creature straight out of a horror movie. Not to mention, that Yoongi can sense a ridiculous amount of Malice coming from his friend. “...-I don’t think that's the best idea right now.”

Jungkook stares at him lost. “Why not?”

“You mean besides the murderous energy around you? Or was your deformed figure not enough of a giveaway?” Yoongi asks with an arched brow.

“Hyung. I'm just trying to think.” Jungkook replies.

“Think about what? How not to look like you’re ready to slaughter your girlfriend? You can barely control your thoughts, let alone your body.” Yoongi seems to ignore what Jungkook had just told him- concern uncharacteristically filling his eyes as the room grows incredibly colder, literally. “Jungkook how long do you think you can keep this up? If you go see her while you’re like this, there's a good chance she won’t be safe.”

Yoongi could then see all of Jungkook’s energy rolling off him in unnatural waves, the dark aura slithering and seeping out of his body all around your room. Even he isn’t sure he’ll leave here unscathed, realizing he stepped into a complete shit show…Dammit Yoongi might actually be too late.

“Relax. I’m pissed, not blood thirsty. ” Jungkook clips, a frustrated hand running through his long raven strands as if he was feigning, Yoongi could tell it was quite the opposite.

He then scoffs, “We both know that doesn’t mean anything when it comes to someone like her. She’s not one of us Jungkook, with the state you’re in- you’d be lucky if you don't consume her within the first minute.”

Jungkook’s stomach suddenly churns from the fear firing within the pit of it, chest puffing from the irritation that the man across from him was causing. He inhales deeply, the image of your face coming to his head and somehow that not only calms him, but makes him even more frustrated than before.

He’s aware of the possibility within his control, but there was no way he was going to get any work done if he couldn’t tell whether you were actually safe or not. All he’s been able to concentrate on is you, even though he wasn’t around you for an entire month.

So in conclusion his distance from you has only made things a lot worse.

Jungkook finally huffs in denial. “I wouldn’t think about hurting her.”

“Then why do you suddenly look so afraid?” Yoongi steps closer warily. “You’re losing control of yourself, aren’t you? You should have listened to me last time when I suggested you go see Hoseok. Instead, you keep brushing this off…sooner or later you won’t be able to. ”

Yoongi isn’t dumb and he knows how badly Jungkook wants to see you, but he can’t let that happen, at least not yet while Jungkook wasn’t in control of himself. The man doesn’t realize how big of a mess he’s made, not only for himself- but for you as well and as infuriating as it is, Yoongi is trying his best to diffuse the situation before he has to explain to everyone how he let the youngest member destroy his only relationship.

Jungkook exhales, attempting to release some of his anger once again, but it feels like nothing is working. Not only that, but the more Yoongi tries to convince Jungkook, the more he’s finding this entire situation so odd and completely infuriating. He just wants to see you, that's all and he can control himself, he's sure of it…so why the hell is it such a big problem? “I look like this, because I don’t know where the hell she is. Hyung, if you’re going to make things worse, just leave.”

“Well you may not remember this, but you already dragged me into your petty situation. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t taking that seriously, unlike you I take care of my responsibilities Jungkook.” Yoongi deadpans the obvious. “You wanted me to protect Y/n, this is me doing that...Even if its from you.”

Jungkook sighs dismissively as something begins to thin in his patience.

“You don’t have to protect her from me. What part of this seems like I don’t care? Because as far as I am concerned- there's nothing more important to me than seeing her and witnessing with my own two eyes that she’s safe and not out there with some random asshole.” He spits with a nasty venom at the thought, his calm façade cracking with a wild look.

It’s not like his friend couldn’t tell how he was really feeling anyway...

“-What?” Yoongi blinks before narrowing his eyes as he tries to come to terms with what he just heard. “What do you mean by random exactly?”

Jungkook pauses from his mistake and he curses himself. “N-Nothing. Just forget it.”

He can’t concentrate the more Yoongi talks to him and as much as the king doesn't want to be affected, he can’t help his own confusion from Jungkook's behavior…he seriously thinks you’ve moved on from him?

“Jungkook, please don’t tell me you’re here right now because of your possessive impulse to Y/n’s life.” Yoongi asks in a desperate manner and trying to mask his own sudden anger.

“If I say no will you go away?” He rolls his pitch black eyes in return.

Yoongi frowns bemused. “We both know I can't make it that easy.”

Jungkook then sighs, turning completely away from him, but Yoongi refuses to let him brush over this.

“Look I don’t know what the hell is going on in your head but one thing I highly doubt is that Y/n is seeing someone else- I would know. Not to mention that you’re the one who left for a month and apparently you both aren’t dating.”

“I didn’t have a choice.” Jungkook replies, but he purposely ignores the other part of what was mentioned. He knows that you’re not together, but that reminder always seems to stir something crazy in him every time.

“You do now...Jungkook, You've been coming here for years straight. Everyday you spend either with her or waiting to speak to her and you’re so blinded by the thought of her you can’t even tell what you want anymore. You don’t find that slightest bit odd, your deep obsession with her in your life constantly?” He then steps forward and Jungkook’s chest rises harder as his right eye twitches. “You can obviously see the way you feel about her, what I don’t understand is what made you so damn scared that you’re driving yourself mad because of it.”

Jungkook’s eyes go cold, clearly beginning to tune Yoongi out, but his words hit a nerve way too delicate, setting off an unwanted reaction in him.

“Fuck off.” Jungkook clips as he inhales.” I don’t need you to play therapist Hyung.”

Yoongi frowns standing strong, watching something flash within Jungkook’s eyes.

“There it is, That same fear you keep ignoring. That's the cowardice that sent you running home weeks ago. If you’re going to keep on this way, you might as well–” Before Yoongi could even finish his remark, the next thing he knew, there was a booming smack to his back-knocking the air out of his chest and a thunderous crack of your bedroom’s wall.

“Fuck-!” The King growls out in thunderous anger and pain before his fists are balling up and his patience for Jungkook was quite literally knocked from his body. “So this is the route you want to take? Fighting me so you can keep ignoring your problems?” He suddenly stands from his position- glaring daggers at Jungkook as his eyes turn to an endless void of black- mana stretching unbelievably from his body.

“You keep pissing me off, so that makes you a problem to deal with.” Jungkook only seethes in return and the two have a lethal stare off. Neither of them calming from their chaotic temper.

Yoongi swallows the blood wanting to rise in his mouth. He motions towards Jungkook- beckoning him with an invitation. “Don’t forget that this problem can easily kick your ass. Try me.”

Before Jungkook knew it, he was once again lunging towards Yoongi, willing to to pour out his pent up frustrations. However, Yoongi was too quick for Jungkook to comprehend, stepping out of Jungkook’s way and slamming a calloused hand to Jungkook’s chest. Yoongi’s inhuman speed was always something that could catch Jungkook off guard. While the man acted and thought like a sloth- He was probably the fastest of the clan’s bloodline.

Jungkook’s hands then claw at Yoongi’s arms, slicing through his skin with only one strike and ultimately putting the shorter man’s patience below zero. Yoongi brings his arms back ignoring his pain and quickly coming back full speed towards Jungkook’s chest as his fists connect with a lethal crunch to his breaking ribs.

“Ugh!” The prince suddenly cringes, feeling the incredible force of Yoongi’s assault.

The King then roars, those hands slamming against Jungkook’s broken ribcage when he sees Jungkook getting ready for his next strike. Yoongi then closes his eyes, driven by rage and he’s lifting the bulky demon up- slamming his back down onto the floor so hard that Jungkook is sure he’d shattered his spine and crushed his lungs all at once. Honestly its amazing he didn’t fall through from the force, let alone damage the hard material.

Eventually feeling a numbing cold spread from his legs and to his head. Jungkook was close to passing out, but the pain won’t let him. He then coughs violently, the pitch black blood in his chest bubbling from his lips as he barely stares up at his friend with an overdue sense of clarity. For a moment, something flashes behind Jungkook’s eyes, an unclear image of a beautiful face smiling and walking up to a familiar figure without a care in the world, Just like you always did in your dreams.

No.

Before Jungkook could form a thought, or bring himself to comprehend the small visual he’d been trying so hard to grasp, that connection was gone within the next second he’d opened his eyes to a pissed but still concerned friend.

Yoongi just brought him to the brink of death…

His hand is pressed above the area where Jungkook’s heart resides as he watches a sad look wash over Jungkook’s suddenly broken face. Whether it was because of what just happened or not Yoongi couldn’t tell but there was no way he was going to forget about what just took place.

Fuck, what the hell just came over him? Yoongi thinks as he tries to inhale a deeper breath and gather himself from his unleashed anger. It would have been so easy, he could have simply ripped out Jungkook’s heart if that's what he really wanted…but it’s not and that's only because Jungkook is someone valuable to him.

“...I’m not going to kill you, even though it sure as hell would make me happy right now.” The elder man threatens while watching Jungkook blink and attempt to stay conscious. Yoongi stays kneeled beside him, his hand on high alert as the black veins running over his skin begin to disappear.

Yoongi then slowly feels Jungkook’s mana lower as well and he hates that it took him this far to calm him down. Jungkook’s labored breath reaches Yoongi's ears, which lets him know that his lungs were quickly healing themselves.

“Even if you did, it won’t change anything. Go ahead.” Jungkook abruptly coughs again.

The moon light from your windows shines down onto Jungkook’s face where the liquid had also begun to drip from his nose. Instantly, Yoongi feels an immense amount of guilt- but it had to be done, he had to restrain Jungkook. The only thing that made him feel worse about losing his own temper, were the words of his brother at that moment.

“What did you just say?” He then questions with a horrified look, watching the defeat in Jungkook’s eyes.

With an unbearable amount of pain filling his body, a very familiar scent fills Jungkook’s nose, causing a shitty feeling to come to him at such an inopportune moment. He doesn’t smell that disgusting scent with yours anymore…it's just your sweet almond floating alone within the space other than the two residing injured in the dark. He then shifts, feeling his bones pop back into place and bringing structure back into his spine.

The problem was, nothing hurts more than the thought of losing you to another and simply because he didn’t know how to navigate around his own feelings. So much that Jungkook isn’t sure why he’s completely overwhelmed by the weight lifting off of his chest when he wasn’t able to pick up on the foreign scent he’d been smelling all this time.

“My chest hurts…” Jungkook croaks.

“I mean…” Yoongi’s brow arches as he looks him over. “ I just caved it in with my fists so that's bound to have some kind of damage.” He jokes.

Jungkook shakes his head, a humorless scoff garbled in his throat. “No. I mean it hurts because I can’t feel her…Part of me is so upset, because I can’t shake the feeling of someone else being involved in her life while I was gone- the pain makes me want to die for giving up.”

Yoongi doesn’t answer that for a while as he stares down at Jungkook with nothing but confusion. The gears in his head turn when a deep scowl abruptly comes over his face and he’s truly understanding the full extent of the situation.

“You must be out of your goddamn mind telling me that.”

Jungkook frowns, clearly offended. “W-What?”

“I truly hope this girl is worth it, because I don’t know what else could make you act like this much of suicidal dumbass. I knew you triggered your bond, but I had no idea you were this late into rejecting it and you’re only just now coming to terms after you tried to kill me.” He doesn’t mean to but the words come out harsher than he intended. “Like I said I’m not going to kill you, but if you think you’re going to continue on like this- then I can promise that will change. I have to get you to Hoseok.”

Jungkook’s brows furrow as he tries to stay focused. “What are you talking about? You think I’m bonded to Y/n?”

“You just said you would rather die if you couldn’t have her, I think that stands within the category of a soulmate.” The smaller man shrugs bitterly.

“I told you before that my connection to her isn’t like that Yoongi Hyung.” Jungkook groans skeptically when he feels his bones shift in his back again and lock into place- healing is such a bitch.

“So you’re telling me that you always stalk the women you have hallucinations of?” Yoongi asks, staring straight down towards him only to see the shock in Jungkook’s eyes from his comment.

So that's it.

“...How did you know about those?” He then questions horrified with a freaked scowl.

“I didn’t, but now I do- which confirms that the real reason you went home is because they’re scaring the shit out of you right?” Yoongi smirks, knowing he just hit the bullseye. “That's how it starts...”

“You… don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jungkook goes to move, but honestly everything still hurts and he didn’t like the nasty feeling coming to his chest at the sudden realization of his friend’s confession. There hasn’t been a day that's gone by where he wasn’t obsessed with being closer to you and that includes this very moment where he was craving to be around you again.

Yoongi shakes his head in disbelief at Jungkook's denial. “I know exactly what I’m talking about. You’ve been thinking about Jumping your girlfriend’s bones for a while now and instead of acting on it, like a coward, you hid at home within your work. Now you’re an obsessive ass, with an unstable temper that's going to get you killed.”

Jungkook’s head was swimming, trying to take in the information. Something in the back of his mind was warning him as his body no longer felt cold and numb- his labored breaths becoming normal again. “She’s…not… my girlfriend.”

“Jungkook-Do you know what happens when you trigger your bond with someone and you reject it? It fights back.” Yoongi suddenly mumbles as a more serious tone begins to fill his voice again and the sound honestly puts Jungkook on edge as he lays idle on your bedroom’s floor.

“We don’t have one.” Jungkook swallows hard, the taste of blood still evident in his mouth but he couldn’t focus on that. Not with the sour taste accompanying it as Yoongi begins to explain more into his theory.

“Hey, I know you hate to be wrong, but I think it's time to understand that everything you’re feeling is not okay. Having a connection like this to someone is not a common phenomenon for us. In-fact it's both equally terrifying and liberating.” Yoongi says with more annoyance to Jungkook’s obliviousness.

He then blinks, definitely taking his current position into account. “Maybe, it could be from the intense pain I’m currently feeling, but hypothetically, if we were to have a connection with each other. I’m having a hard time understanding how any of this could possibly be liberating.” Jungkook starts. “I’m still not sure how you’ve come to that conclusion when I’m swallowing my own blood right now.”

Yoongi sighs thoughtfully after he finally removes his hand and it runs through his snowy hair. “Scent, warmth, and an unexplainable obsession with the other. No matter how bizarre or plausible- these are all signs of the Alexithymic bo–”

“ –Alexi-… what?” Jungkook cuts him off.

“Alexithymia, it's where you can’t express your emotional arousal. Therefore an Alexithymic bond and considering how oblivious you are I’d say its a perfect title.” Yoongi answers, arching a dark brow.

He huffs, not believing how this suddenly sounds interesting.

“Hyung, my spine just cracked itself back in place and you’re giving me a vocabulary lesson.” Jungkook winces, watching Yoongi roll his eyes again and stand from his position crouched over him. The King strides across the dark space giving Jungkook room to get up. His back should be healed by now, but judging from the congested cough- his chest still isn’t fully recovered.

“I’ll crush your lungs again, if you don’t let me finish.” Yoongi suddenly threatens and leans back onto his heel to concentrate. “Our bonds are rare but more common the higher ranked you are. It's like a new obsession, constantly thinking about that person day and night- nothing else matters. However, it's considered a curse for a reason. The second you begin to ignore any pull it creates between you and that person, it will punish you in a very ugly way. You’ll see and experience things you’ve never felt before and it’ll only drive you mad until you’re triggering the darkest part of you to rid it.”

“Has that ever worked?” Jungkook tries not to ask too curiously but Yoongi knows that hint of fear laced within his question. Jungkook was definitely scared of whatever was going on with him, including how he wasn’t sure if he’d been imagining a new scenario of you running off with someone else based on a nonexistent scent.

“…Well…you can ask Hoseok that. He ignored his bond to Jiminie because he refused to think anything other wise. Eventually, Jin had to step in and restrain him in the process those few years back. We had to take him away.”

“Hobi Hyung?” Jungkook repeats one of his brother's names when something finally registers in his mind. “ Do you mean the incident where Jimin Hyung got hurt? I…thought he was just sick.”

Yoongi’s eyes show the pain behind them as the memory plays fresh in his mind of the situation, an almost traumatizing thought to think of. “-Technically speaking, he was…but somehow Hoseok found a way to eventually keep it under control. I think the thought of hurting Jiminie again must have triggered something rational in him. He wasn’t the same for months, but eventually the two worked through it. just like I’m sure you and Y/n can.”

Something in Jungkook resonates with such a horrible fear of hurting someone like you. In a way, it was actually strange considering that the thought had never entered his mind before, but now…He wasn’t super certain of his feelings towards you. Jungkook would love to believe everything is alright, but tonight has only ever shown him the opposite.

Dammit Yoongi was actually getting to him.

Maybe the grumpy man for a friend was actually right and Jungkook wasn’t the one in control after all. For the last couple of months, it's true that the thoughts he’s had when it comes to you have been worrying him. They always came at random and whenever they did, it was not only an inconvenience, but distracting as well.

All that being said, Jungkook still can’t shake the edge he feels not being near you. He’s held out long enough and there wouldn’t be any harm in him seeing you-even if it were for just a second, honestly what's the worst that could happen?

“You could kill her.” Yoongi suddenly chimes at perfect timing and Jungkook is looking at him with a deeply confused scowl. “You’re wondering what would happen if you stayed right? I can see that look you’re getting again after all I said and you should know how wrong this could go.”

“Yeah, I do.” Jungkook then suddenly groans from the pain and moves to stand feeling his body continue to heal and get back to its original state. He nearly stumbles back down before balancing himself again and he’s sighing from the entire ordeal. He looks up, taking in a reluctant breath before he stares at Yoongi head on once again. “I’ll leave after I see her and after that I won’t come back until I can fix this. Hyung, please if I go now, it’s gonna drive me crazy and all of this would have been for nothing.”

“Jungkook…” Yoongi starts for the last time until he’s realizing how much energy this is really taking away from him. Honestly they both have better and much more important things to be doing right now, besides wondering how he was going to get his friend laid.

Jungkook’s eyes glisten with a desperate shine, puppy eyes staring directly at Yoongi and he tries hard to keep his stoic expression back towards the other. Yoongi feels the slight guilt from before crawling back into his chest and hates how much influence it has on his next decision.

“...Fine. If you want to risk your girlfriend’s life, be my guess, I knew I should have stopped you when I first suspected something.” He huffs in miserable defeat, knowing that if he stays- Yoongi is worried he’d actually end up killing Jungkook out of his own irritation.

He really hoped it wouldn’t turn out this way.

“Hyung, for the last time she’s not my girlfriend.” Jungkook steps forward, ignoring the pain that shoots up his spine and it looks as if Yoongi was getting ready to leave. He pauses after pushing himself off of your door frame with a wary look on his face as Jungkook comes closer.

“Seriously, Do you want me to break your back again?” Yoongi asks, rolling his eyes and still trying to push down the part of him that doesn’t want to leave a highly unstable Jungkook behind. However he knows exactly how this might play out and if it was anywhere near what he hopes is the best outcome out of the worst- Jungkook will come back home for help and you will be safe.

Again…Hopefully.

Feeling an end to this conversation, Jungkook begins to consider his options when Yoongi’s presence with all of his mana was gone in the blink of an eye and Jungkook was once again alone within your bedroom- waiting until the moment he could hear you coming through that front door.

He doesn’t know how long he’s stood there waiting for you, but it felt like hours had passed when suddenly a subtle scent hits his nose and he’s inhaling. Sensing a familiar presence that has his heart hammering in his chest, he’s very aware of your front door opening within the next couple of minutes.

On instinct he moves, thick boots clunking across the hard floor- a shot of adrenaline speeding through his veins when his teeth grow longer and his hands are itching to grab you. He thinks about how he wants to hold you again, inhaling your scent as much as he could. Jungkook could see himself squeezing you closer and nipping on your skin while leaving hickeys all around. He wants to taste tugging on you harder until his fingers were digging into your sides deep enough to- No…he thinks to himself, immediately remembering his unstable form and ultimately stopping himself from coming to you.

Not only that, but something didn’t feel right…Jungkook’s intentions suddenly felt unclear- just like Yoongi had warned him. He sighs before taking another breath and closes his eyes as your scent hits him even stronger towards your bedroom just like all those times before. The sound of your light footsteps draw near and are drowned out by a rapid heartbeat within Jungkook’s ears.

Yours or his? He didn't know.

What he does know is that It’s extremely hard when he feels his body going haywire the closer you get all over again. He tries to avoid the darkening within his vision and before you could even sense someone else inside. Jungkook has half a mind to come into alert a few seconds too late before bringing himself back from over the edge. He inhales seeing you, but then opts for holding his breath so that he couldn’t be drawn into you further.

You however hesitate, calling out his name into the dark and waiting for no response. It’s too dark, for you- but he can see you perfectly within it. A pain in his chest from the hope in your eyes as you unknowingly stare directly into his. He wants nothing more but to reach out and hold you, though he knew that couldn't happen just yet. First he needs to calm himself and quickly find that it needs to be done sooner than later, because whatever Jungkook was thinking about a second ago no longer felt normal.

It felt ravenous...

“Jungkook?…Is that you?”

If there was anything more relieving than clocking out of your final shift for the week- then it was knowing you wouldn’t be doing anymore doubles for a very long time. It wasn’t usual for you to take on so many at your job, but with all the recent call-outs and you needing some extra cash to save on the side, you’d been working your butt off for the past few weeks.

You sigh tiredly, your entire body screaming of exhaustion and your feet aching in your shoes by the time you were heading out for the day. Walking out into the night air, you quickly found yourself shivering and felt goosebumps eroding your skin.

Although you had been running around like crazy, your body easily succumbed to the cold wind breezing by even as you were walking to your car. When this happened, you always blamed it on the hideous uniform you were forced to wear every shift, cursing the cheap fabric that was no help when it came to protection.

Suddenly, you giggled to yourself while thinking of a certain someone who always made it a point to announce how much he hated seeing it on you. “That shirt is too tight, you look like you’re freezing and suffocating at the same time.” Jungkook had once said this to you before, draping his cozy jacket over you afterwards and leaving himself bared to the night as well. At the time, you weren’t aware of the man’s unworldly nature and even now you still felt like a fool when you scolded him for acting so recklessly.

Originally, you thought your friend to be at least 3 years younger, making it natural for you to be concerned about his health, even if he was much bigger than you. But as time had gone on, you’d soon found out that the sweet boy was not only a demon within his human form, but that he was also a good few 100 years older than you.

Oddly enough he just never acts like it...Jungkook was like a arrogant brat in your eyes, but one you’ve come to adore over time.

Speaking of…You had begun to pout while letting yourself into your car, wondering when your friend would return from his schedule back home or if he would return at all. It's been so long since you last saw him and once it passed the week timeframe he had given you, a deep unease began to form in the pit of your stomach a while back. Is he avoiding you? You’ve wandered over and over with a deep rooted fear overtaking your mind, but then there were times where you could feel Jungkook in the back of your head like before and you knew he was watching over you somehow. You just wished that it would include him physically being here with you and not wherever he’d gone off to.

You never thought you would be this bothered without Jungkook around, feeling irritable every now and then to the point where you definitely weren’t your normal self. You had trouble sleeping and like now, after getting off of work, you drove home in your car fast and a bit recklessly if you were being honest with yourself. It was as if you were racing against time, a deeper part of you hoping that tonight he’d at least pop in before you went to bed, especially since this would be the first night you actually planned to stay in without him there.

It’s been a while since you allowed yourself to actually wait for him, giving up a while back on his visits but still holding on to the hope of his presence.

The more you didn’t have him around, the more you had begun to feel yourself get antsy. Why exactly you weren’t too sure and for some reason you couldn’t bring yourself to ask. All you knew was that, it felt like you were wasting time- like you actually needed to see him soon before something bad would happen.

But even when you had made it home in one piece. Rushing up the elevator impatiently and finally arriving before your front door, you were disappointed to open it and be met with a very lifeless apartment.

Out of nowhere, your heart sunk in your chest. Nothing but darkness and silence filling the space until you thought you heard shuffling and whispering in your bedroom. Immediately you thought them to be heavy footsteps, possibly belonging to a man you knew could produce them with his heavy shoes. Is he back? If he is, you have no doubts Jungkook would be confused to not find you here at this time. You were always home by now and if you weren’t catching up on your studies then you were hanging around with him.

Without thinking, your body was on autopilot, immediately closing the door and walking further along the open space of your living room and down the hall towards the now freezing area which held your bedroom.

Shivering, you frowned wondering why it had suddenly gone so cold when you always kept your house on a casual 74 degrees, not to mention that you specifically remember keeping your hall light on by accident while leaving in a rush earlier. But as quickly as you were beginning to question those thoughts, your curiosity vanished the second you stood in front of your bedroom’s doorway.

Suddenly, your body freezes- swearing you were standing only just a few feet away from a large silhouette. You frown, a deep breath being taken as if your presence had a surprising effect as it had on you. You feel your heart pounding in your chest, butterflies from not only fear but the familiar scent of mint hitting your nostrils just as it does whenever he is around. Like the first time you’d ever seen Jungkook, there's a jump in your stomach that came with unease from the intimidating energy you felt while in front of him.

Maybe he’s in there…? You think of biting your lip at the foreign shiver that snakes down your spine. You stood staring into the room for about five seconds, letting your imagination run wild until his name was rising up your throat.

“Jungkook?” You whisper with barely enough sound to leave your mouth. “Is that you?”

There's no response and part of you should have expected it, you had to be a lunatic to feel so secure that a demon was possibly standing in the middle of your room waiting for you. Then again you were used to the possibility and it was strange to think he’s actually avoiding you. Somehow, that thought doesn't stop you from stepping in closer, your fingers inching towards the switch on your wall to reveal if everything you’d been witnessing was true. With a quick flick you wince, letting the warm ceiling light cast down upon you and to your dismay, find the spot where you swore he had been standing, to be empty.

You weren’t happy, but you also weren’t disappointed- not as much as the beginning of your week when you’d first been expecting the return of your friend.

“Oh…” You sag visibly, a shameful emotion of how much you’d actually felt your heart skip a beat at the thought of seeing him. You then scowl deeper, suddenly feeling the beginnings of fatigue catch up with you and it wasn’t until about 30 minutes later after getting your things settled in, that a sorrowful huff leaves your mouth as your gaze burns through the white tiles of your master shower.

“I’ll be back, just give me a week.” You bitterly remembered him saying this to you as you closed your eyes and imagined him with his bright smile. He seemed so warm and didn’t give off the vibe that something could be wrong, so you were at a loss as to why this had been the umpteenth day you haven’t seen him.

Maybe he’d gotten bored of you…That couldn’t be it, somehow you could still feel him around, but you do remember how much he had begun to space out while being right beside you. It started out small about a year ago, but eventually you had begun to notice the way Jungkook couldn’t focus or that he wasn’t paying attention to anything you would say when you came near him. It was almost like he’d lost interest in you, but it wouldn’t explain why he would continue to pop in or even tell you he was planning to come back.

Unless…Could someone else be taking up his attention?

That seemed to be another question plaguing you and the thought not only made your heart sink but whatever emotion was clawing at your chest had spread to your body-ultimately exhausting you in the end. This had been the same thought process you’ve had for days now and there was no describing the consuming despair that overtook you because of it.

While you got ready and slipped into your bed, you could swear that you were somehow aware of his presence within your home. Without him here, it felt empty and lonely. Whereas other times, you’d be laid up next to him watching some kind of kid friendly movie and having him wrapped around you. You're not sure when the both of you had gotten so comfortable being within such an intimate setting, but it had easily became a second nature that you took advantage of.

You toss and turn in the coldness of your bed. The darkness of the room was now a bit scarier to you and again like many nights before- you found yourself restless. It might have something to do with the fact that your mind was used to the thought of sleeping next to someone else for comfort. But still, why was it so hard to sleep? To relax and let your worries melt away? You’ve certainly earned it after working so hard and if anything you should be ready to knock out at any moment.

“Ugh…” You groan, kicking around in frustration before laying flatly on your back.

You were stressed and somehow more distraught than what would feel normal. Were you seriously this upset over him? He’s only your friend…right?

It’s no secret to anyone who’s ever met him- how undeniably attractive Jungkook is. Long raven black hair that was soft to the touch, piercings on his lip, and earlobes. He was the complete opposite of you, dressed in mostly black while being covered in what you thought were tattoos but turned out to be his natural markings inked beautifully into his skin from his hands, all the way to his chest and back just to signify his bloodline. You only knew that last part because you’ve noticed through the few times you were able to catch the small slips of skin under his shirt, your eyes immediately zoning in heavily towards those areas and there had been plenty of times you’ve wanted to run your hands across them.

You swallowed and brought yourself back from the unusual thoughts of your friend. Quickly, you sit up from your position and there's an enormous amount of guilt brushing along your chest when you realize that you were actually getting turned on by the thought of the demon again.

Why? It was so sudden....but slowly as those thoughts were beginning to triumph your mind more frequently, it was becoming apparent that it truly wasn’t and there were numerous times, you found yourself thinking of the man. When you would stare at his big smile- tongue dragging subconsciously across those pink lips and the way his eyes would have those small crescents as he did so. He was much taller than you and whenever you hugged him, you had to admit the impressive build of his frame against yours. You never really cared for mint, but whenever you smelled it on him, you felt like you could dive into an ocean of it.

Seriously, what was so special about him? Well besides the fact that he is clearly nowhere near human…and that he’s literally royalty within his family.

Jungkook was always just a friend to you, but one that can easily light up your day with just one look. He’s kind and considerate, two traits that completely contradict what someone would think about a dark creature of his stature. But for some reason he’s always had an attachment to you and it’s so obvious that even you couldn’t miss it…The way he looks at you… when he holds you, his entire body tenses up and he gets all giddy just from you calling his name. He also gets jealous whenever he sees you leaving work with your male coworkers. However, something tells you that even Jungkook doesn’t realize his own strange behavior when it comes to your connection with him.

What if you were the same way? From the beginning, Jungkook was nothing but a stranger and someone who couldn’t keep himself away while knowing absolutely nothing about you. In a way, while you so openly cherished having him here in your home, you still knew next to nothing about Jungkook other than what he allows and yet…He’s the most important person to you in your life.

As your breathing begins to take a deeper turn and an overwhelming wave of warmth washes over you, there's two things that are starting to become very clear. First, you can’t stop thinking about Jungkook. You haven't been able to since you walked through that front door and secondly, the problem wasn’t that you were too stressed to sleep-you were just incredibly...unbelievably sexually frustrated and it's fair to say that you’re pretty sure he’s the cause of it.

Two long years since you met him and a little longer since you last had a crush on someone or even just an attraction. Everything that you ever thought you liked in a partner had been completely washed away and that was no thanks to him. A man that thinks Disney is actually the name of a movie, acts like a cocky brat and you were pretty sure his job was to torture souls for a living.

Jungkook. You have a crush on him—Great.

If anyone could see you, they’d wonder why your eyes had widened to the size of saucers. It was hot and you turned yourself over onto your stomach while instantly hiding your face into the fluffiness of your pillow. Hoping you could drift off into deep darkness of shame.

How the hell did you let him get under your skin?

...

Tag List : @thisartemisnevermisses @vampyjk @taeilmom @outro-kook @bishuthot @mwitsmejk @irissilujm @vickyboo @awesomebabyyoda @hanzyyme @gerim-1995 @i-dont-give-a-fok @hwangheiress @hollyverday @seajae @oishee09 @jolinaprincess @yoongibabs

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venusiangguk · 3 years

Text

pretty kitty | jjk (m)

>>pairing: jungkook x reader / gamer!jk x brat!oc

>>genre: established relationship, smut, pwp

>>word count: 5.7k

>>warnings: hard dom jk, brattiest brat oc, mentions of pet play!!, wearing of cat ears during the deed!!, teasing, hand job, spit, finger sucking, name calling, degradation, tummy bulging, pet names, orgasm denial, begging, masturbation, light pussy slapping, jks a lil mean… so sexy of him, praise kink, flinching, light face slapping, humiliation, size kink, jk biggest cock in the whole world !!, forced orgasm, withheld creampie to forced creampie??, mentions of buzzfeed and 2d cat girls, jk lowkey a simp 🙄, mentions of choking

>>notes: this is more of oc just getting railed with cat ears on LMAO actual pet play stuff will be in part 2 which i will have out next week hopefully seeing as this part wasn’t even supposed to turn into a whole ass one shot -.- anyway!! this is ltgb!couple <3 but you dont have to read that to read this~~

>>summary: you’re jk’s baby, his toy, and now his pretty little pet.

It starts with a buzzfeed quiz.

‘What kind of cat are YOU?’

Your boyfriend is lying next to you, controller in hand and his pink little tongue poked out in concentration. He’s still kinda sweaty and flushed from your last round. Chest rising and falling with deep breaths, his honey blonde locks a little bit askew from you running your tiny hands through it while you rode him.

He senses your stare and looks at you for a second, doe-eyes scanning your face, your still bare body. He lingers on your neck before a big hand reaches out, fingertips rubbing on your skin a little.

“You good, chicky? You’re a little red… was I too rough?”

Your phone camera comes up and you angle it to look at where his hand just was. Indeed a bit red, and a little sore, but nothing you don’t love. You smile, and shake your head, wiggling a little closer. You’re laying on your side so your curled knees press against the outside of his leg.

He gives you a small smile and gets back to his game and you get back to your quizz, dutifully answering the questions, truthfully and honestly. After a few clicks and debated answers, you await your results, humming along to the game song that you’ve come to memorize. Surely you’ll be a Russian Blue, or another beautiful and regal breed.

The breath you were holding puffs out in a dejected sigh, ending on a pitiful whine. A sphynx? A bald and wrinkly scrotum looking feline?

Jeongguk notices your deflated state and cranes his neck a little to see what you’re doing. You turn the phone so he can see better and he snorts a little laugh out when he sees your results.

“It’s not funny, Kookie,” you grumble, going to the search bar and typing in ‘breeds of cats’ before clicking on images and pulling up a little picture chart. “Which would I be? For real,” you ask him, sitting up a little, so you both are side by side.

“I don’t know, I think sphynx is pretty accurate. Aren’t they like super high maintenance and have very specific care instructions?”

You graciously ignore the backhanded way that he is saying you are also very high maintenance and have very specific care instructions. “...Yes, but so do ragdolls… I mean just look at that coat, so fluffy.”

You zoom in on the little picture of the fluffy cat on the chart and Jeongguk humors you, laying his head on top of yours. “I could also see you being that one. It’s so pretty and it looks like it would be high maintenance too. And it also looks like it would demand attention 24/7 even while I am gaming. Just like you.” He pauses, fingers doing something intricate with the controller, before continuing a little absently. “But maybe you were dubbed a sphynx because you like being naked all the time.”

You tut your tongue, and look at your nude state. He had a point. But a ragdoll? It was quite pretty… fur fluffy and well-groomed, eyes blue and icy. You pause, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Are you saying you wish I had blue eyes?”

“No, of course not. I love looking into your eyes and not being able to see your pupils, chicken. Also, I don’t think cats have brown eyes?” he states, eyes never leaving his game.

You hum, contemplative as you turn your head to give his tattooed arm a tiny peck. Google tells you that cats in fact, do not have brown eyes. Your will to bicker dwindles as your brain purrs with thoughts of kittens.

You and Jeongguk have been together for like 7 months now… maybe it’s time for a fur baby? One that stays at his place, of course. You can’t risk the tiny demon using your stuff as a scratching toy.

With Instagram pulled up on your phone you go to the explore page and then to the ragdoll tag, cooing every time you see a particularly cute one. The kittens look like little clouds and the big ones look like small little princes and princesses. Your thumb is quickly scrolling down the feed when something a little different pops up and catches your eye, making you hastily backtrack.

On your slightly cracked screen, is a pair of fluffy ears and tail, as well as what looks like a choker. And while you aren’t 100% familiar with cat accessories this… realistic (you’ve been a slutty kitten for Halloween your fair share of times, the ears and tail incredibly cheap, nowhere near as luxurious as the ones you’re staring at now), you are familiar with pretty things and the set is certainly that.

You click on the page and begin scrolling, seeing a lot of other pretty sets, as well as some informational posts, answering many of the unspoken questions in your little brain.

What is this? Pet play.

What is pet play? A sub-category in the BDSM community.

Okay but like what is it actually? A type of role play of sorts.

Like a furry? No, not like a furry.

Why do people like it? For many different reasons. Sometimes people just like dressing up and sometimes people like being tied up, humiliated, and being owned.

You scowl at your phone a little, a small pout on your lips, the last bullet point making your brain buzz just a pinch. You liked those things… Images of Jeongguk plague your mind. Him making you feel like a tiny little toy that’s only useful when you’re making him feel good, him calling you his dumb little baby when you can’t think properly with his cock inside of you. Him filling you all the way up, till you’re stuffed full of his cum and just his.

“Do you like cat girls?” you peep, eyes still on your phone.

He hesitates. “2D ones or real ones?”

You give him side-eyes. “Both?”

“Only 2D ones, I don’t look at other girls… Haven’t seen one since we started dating, actually.”

You laugh, taking it upon yourself to settle in his lap facing him, giving him a big kiss. “I love you, but this isn’t a trap. I’m just curious.”

He gives you a weary look. “I don’t believe you.”

You hum, laughter still swimming in your eyes, turning and sitting between his legs, back to his chest. Going back to the account you were just on, you go to the tagged photos, finding just what you were looking for. Cute, sexy girls in their cute, sexy kitten gear.

You pull up one and nudge him a little to get his attention, but he turns his head to the side, avoiding the screen once he realizes what he’s being asked to look at. You fight with him some, phone waving around and him jerking his head in all different directions, crying between laughter asking how you can be so small, yet hold so much evil in your tiny body, why you insist on trapping him in sticky situations.

Finally, however, you get him to look with the promise of good intentions, admitting that you’re thinking about getting some ears for yourself maybe. This peaks his interest well enough.

His eyes are round as they take in the girl on the screen. She’s posed a bit lewdly to show off the tail as well as the collar and leash that’s falling between her breasts, and you see how he hesitates, looking at you, and you just laugh, shove the phone closer.

“I mean… the ears and tail are kinda sexy… and I like the leash I think. But only that, and they would look much better on you.”

You make a soft appreciative noise, going to the website linked in their bio while Jeongguk once again starts to play his game, eyes occasionally dropping down to you, but you keep your phone out of view.

~~~

It takes a few weeks for your package to arrive, everything from the shop being handcrafted and made to order.

But it finally gets to you when Jeongguk is out. He’s been gone most of the day, away at a streaming event with Jimin and Taehyung. Due back any second now. You haven’t mentioned the cat stuff since that night, and you think after the first few days, your boyfriend has probably forgotten about it. So with your fingers running over the soft fur, you quickly think up a way to surprise him.

You decide to go for simple and nonchalant, hoping to ease him into it. Even though he seemed interested in theory, in reality, seeing your girlfriend naked on the couch with something long and furry coming out of her ass might be a little shocking. So instead you just place the simple ears on your head, keeping on your lazy outfit; one of his big shirts and some thigh high stockings.

The ears are white, fuzzy and furry and soft to the touch. The insides are almost like a rougher version of baby pink suede, with tiny black hearts airbrushed into the material. Kind of reminds you of earrings a little.

Your tail is the same fur fabric, with a baby pink ribbon at the end to attach the complementary little plug the shop provided as a gift. The plug is a translucent, baby pink, glass one and it’s tiny. Thank god, because anal isn’t something you dabble in very often. It has a little ‘o’ shaped ring at the base, which is where you’ll tie the ribbon. You tuck those away in the drawer of his dresser that’s become yours the past few months, just as you hear his front door open.

You walk out and see a rather tired looking Jeongguk. He hums, pleased, into the kiss you greet him with and his hands come to your face, pet over your hair a little. He makes a small curious noise when he feels the headband.

He pulls away and finally looks you over, his eyebrows raising a tad when he sees your ears, and his eyes growing mischievous when sees the rest of you.

“You look cute,” he says casually, walking away from you. He taps your butt on his way to his kitchen. “Have you been here all day?”

You make an affirmative noise. “Was waiting for you.”

You tiptoe over to him, wrapping your arms around his waist, resting your cheek on his back. You stay like that, attached to him as he wanders around the kitchen making something to eat. While his food is heating up he laughs softly, spinning around in your hold. He looks down at you, eyes narrowing playfully. One of his hands grips at your bum and the other grips at your jaw, squeezing so your lips push out in a guppy-like manner.

“A little needy today, hmm?” It sounds a little mean, like he’s making fun of you, but his gaze holds love and mirth.

“Yeah,” you nod, small hands grabbing at his shirt. You want it off. “Missed you.”

When you press yourself into him, boobs flush against his stomach, you hear him let out a satisfied little sigh, telling you he missed you too. His hands start to wander some more, slipping under his shirt to squeeze and pull at your cheek and you think that maybe he’ll be easy tonight, too exhausted to make you work for it after his long day. But he gingerly wiggles from your hold when the microwave beeps.

Until you grip his big hand in your small one, pulling him back to you with an indignant whine. He regards you with a quirked brow, a look of incredulity on his face even though he knows how you are and should be used to your antics by now.

Going with you until you’re hopping onto the kitchen table, he settles between your open legs giving you a wistful gaze that’s decorated with a knowing smile. His thumbs rub into the meat of your thighs until one comes to your kitten ears, rubbing the soft material between his fingers. He then pets at your head, cupping your cheek.

“You’re not being very good, are you?” he whispers, pinching your cheek a little. “Not being a very good pet? Hmm?”

It’s said patronizingly, but his tone, his choice of words- it makes your lashes flutter and a soft gasp sound from the back of your throat. When he presses the softest little kiss to your lips, you chase after him, locking your legs around his waist when he tries to get away again.

He laughs, shaking his head at you, cupping your face in his palms, jostling you like he’s trying to shake some sense into you. You just pout with your brows furrowed, impatient for his affection.

“What’s gotten into you? I was only gone for a couple hours and you’re acting like you haven’t seen me in days.”

You turn away from him with pink tinted cheeks and a scowl. “I just want it,” you say, tightening your legs around him, bringing you both closer, almost body to body.

“Want what?”

He already knows what, and is just being obnoxious. You can tell because he subconsciously pushes closer to you, and his tone has taken on that dreamy quality that it gets when he’s turned on. And when your hand drags down his body to touch him over his jeans you feel how he’s just a teensy bit hard in your tiny palm.

“Want you to fuck me,” you say quietly, squeezing him some, coaxing his cock into getting harder, little by little.

His hands pet at you some, and you push into the touch, and he pushes into yours. He’s always touchy with you, can’t ever keep his hands to himself most of the time, but you wonder if the circumstances are making him more conscious about it. If it’s deliberate when he rubs his hands over your arms, scratches at your head a little. You all but purr in his hold, getting a little more deliberate with your own touches. He’s not fully there yet, but the bulge in his jeans is obvious.

However, Jeongguk is in a mood, and is not giving in as easily as you thought he was going to.

“I will,” he says, squeezing at your waist. “But I’m hungry, haven’t eaten all day.”

You clamp your legs before he even starts to move away. Sounds like an excuse to you. “No, now,” you insist, bratty as always, hell bent on getting your way.

“I’m tired, chicken. I need fuel-”

Circling your arms around his neck, you kiss him so that he shuts up, slowly trailing your lips wherever you can, words sounding in between each peck, “That’s okay, we can go slow,” you try to sound cute, as if what you’re saying is a compromise and not a selfish way to get what you want, “haven’t done it like that in a while.”

You bring your lips back to his and kiss him like you mean it, like you’re trying to get him under your spell. He resists a little at first, but melts into your touch quickly enough, angling his head to kiss you deeper, to slip his tongue into your mouth. Pulling away, he sighs, placing chaste pecks on your cheeks, nose, everywhere.

“Get me there then,” he murmurs between kisses.

You let out a breathy giggle, giddy at getting your way, just like always. Bringing your hands from around his neck, you drop them to his pants. You undo the button and push at his tummy a bit so that he backs up enough for you to get his semi out.

He starts to plump up even more as soon as you get your hand around him, but Jeongguk stays quiet, gazing down as your small hand works over his growing length. After letting you pump him for a few seconds, he finally gives you his attention, a soft smile on his lips. He tucks a little bit of your hair behind your ear, eyes flicking to the kitty ones on your head once more. He leans in some, teases your with a kiss by rubbing his nose against yours, keeping his lips just out of reach.

“Both hands,” he whispers, smirking at the whimper you let out when he pulls away, withholding his kisses. He lets out a shaky breath when you comply, hands twisting under the crown on the upstroke. He’s just about fully hard when he says, “Spit on it.”

You work your jaw a little, gathering the spit before you drop your head and let it fall from your mouth down to his cock, stroking a bit quicker with the slick aid. You look at him, expectant of praise, having done what you were told, but he just drops his mouth open a little, a silent moan written on his features. You jut your bottom lip out, a complaint on the tip of your tongue.

“Shh,” he coos before you can, knowing exactly what he’s doing to you. The corners of his lips quirk up just a bit, like he thinks your need for praise is funny. A hand comes up to your face, his thumb wiping under your lip to get the little bit of drooly wetness that was left behind. He drags your bottom lip down with the pad of his thumb, before putting it in your waiting mouth.

You latch your lips around it, licking and sucking for him, as his eyes grow a little glassy and unfocused, his hips starting to barely thrust into your fists. His lashes flutter, and his head tilts back, reveling in your touch. He lets out a soft, airy, ‘Yeah’ that goes straight to your pussy.

“You’re ready,” you decide for him, speech a little gurgled around his thumb.

He laughs, hazy and turned on, taking his thumb out of your mouth and slapping your face lightly with his open palm. “You’re such a brat.”

You shrug, checking behind you to make sure there is nothing that can break on the table. When it’s all clear, you lean back, squirming a little so you're right on the edge, giving Jeongguk easy access.

He hums when he sees you laid out for him, his big hands wasting no time as they slip under his shirt that you have on, pushing it up to your armpits, your big tits pillowing into plush circles on your chest. Groaning, he brings his hands to them, squeezing them and jiggling them, mesmerized at the way they bounce back into place.

His hands and eyes then move down the rest of your body and you hear a quiet laugh.

“No panties?” he asks, glancing at you before his fingers come down to your pussy, spreading your plump folds open so he can see your tiny clit, and sweet, pink center, wet and shiny. He doesn't touch you there anymore than that though, his hands rubbing over your body again, like he can’t get enough of you. Can’t get over how soft and supple you are in his hold, arching for him eagerly. A hand covered in rings, runs down the outside of your thigh, over the white nylon material of your stocking.

You playfully bring your foot to his chest, toes wiggling and rubbing against his nipple. He lets out a tiny, unexpected moan, before he glares at you, gripping your ankle and pulling your foot away. He pauses when he sees a little bit of pink on the ball of your foot.

“Are those toe-beans?”

You giggle. “Yeah.” Your toes wiggle again.

He grins laughing a little to himself, bringing a hand down to grip his cock, stroking as his eyes rake over your body. “Not a chicken anymore, are you?” he asks, finally bringing his tip to between your pussy lips. He moves it up and down rubbing against your clit, spreading the wetness between your thighs around your cunt. “My pretty kitty tonight?” he muses thoughtfully.

You nod your head, wrapping your legs around him again to pull him closer, urging him to slip inside. He gives in,and you mewl as his cock slowly disappears into your pussy, the stretch a pleasant burn. When he pulls out, only to push right back in a bit farther this time, he sees how wet you are by the shine that follows.

He does that, fucks you slow, with long, steady thrusts. Every time he’s flush against you, you can see that small bulge in your tummy where his fat cock is filling you up. He brushes his fingers over it for a second, like he’s in awe of the way your petite frame takes him, just like every time you get him inside of you. Whenever he gives a particularly hard thrust, your tits bounce and the table knocks against the wall a little.

“Faster,” you moan, one of your hands playing with your nipple, the other just touching at him, fingertips on his tensed stomach.

He shakes his head, groans as he slides back in again. “Feels good like this.”

You huff a little. It does feel good, could probably cum with just his slow thrusts if you were patient. But you’re not, and even though you know you said you both could go slow tonight, you’re greedy and needy, and you just want more.

Before you can whine at him, he grips the hand you have on his tummy, pushing it down so that it's at your pussy. “Play with yourself, wanna watch,” his voice is quiet, a little rough.

You do as he says, bringing your fingers down to your opening, gathering a bit of your slick around his cock before rubbing over your clit. You start with tiny, little circles, slow like his thrusts. It feels good enough to aid the little simmer in your belly, making your arousal spike, your pussy tightening as his hips keep pushing into you. Your fingers start to work a little faster, the softest, airy moans that pitch up at the end fall from your lips. The kind that Jeongguk says always drives him crazy.

“Don’t cum, not until I do,” he pants, getting worked up, your cunt and your noises making his cock ache inside of you.

With movements faltering just a hint, you roll your eyes internally. He’s cruel and evil- he knew you were right there, just about to fall over the edge. You lick your lips a little.

“K,” you say.

You’re going to cum anyway, you decide, fingers going right back to that pace that gets you reeling.

You try to keep your telltale orgasm signs at bay. The way that your legs start to close on their own, like the pleasure is too much for you. The way that your breaths start to come out short and staccato, chest rising and falling. The way your brows furrow with concentration as you work to get there. How you let out the most pitiful whine, wanting nothing more than to cum with him inside you.

You do a piss poor job apparently, that or he knows you too well, because Jeongguk’s grabbing your hand again, this time keeping it in his grip and away from your cunt.

With a soft, whiny sob, you say, “Kookie, please-”

“You’re so bad,” he spits, a tiny laugh of disbelief in his tone. He swats at your pussy, not too hard, but enough to make you cry out softly, and try to close your legs. To little avail, he’s still inside you, between your legs, filling you up. “You were just about to cum even though I literally just told you not to.”

You turn away from him, a little flushed, embarrassed at being caught before you could even actually finish. He grips your face, fingers digging into the chub of your cheeks.

“No, look at me,” he says, “You just get so dumb when you get my cock inside you, don’t you?” He uses the hand he has on your face and makes you nod, like you’re agreeing with him. You give him a dirty look and try to get your face free, but he just squeezes tighter, making your eyes water. “Can’t even follow simple instructions?” He shakes your head. “Yeah I know you can’t. So fucking bad. Such a bad little pet.” He draws his cock out until just the swollen tip is still nestled inside before slamming back in.

It almost takes your breath away, how overwhelming full you feel. Tears well in your eyes from how good it is. Him being upset with you also makes tears fill your eyes. Even more than the painful hold his fingers have on you. But the pleasured tears and the ashamed tears are also mixed with angry, fussy tears. “You’re being selfish,” you spout.

Jeongguk looks at you for a moment, his hips slowing and his grip on your face loosening a bit. Then he just laughs at you. Balls deep, laughing at you like you’re the most pitiful thing he has ever seen.

“Shut up,” he tells you, eyes still smiling, thrusts picking up again. “You’re selfish, I wasn’t even home for 30 minutes before you were demanding my cock- you didn’t even let me eat. Spent hours and hours thinking about it, didn’t you?” He lets go of your cheeks and you frown, humiliated because he’s right. You know he’s waiting for an answer so you just barely nod. He smiles, satisfied. “Yeah, so dumb, that’s the only thing you ever think about.”

He brings his hand to your face again and you flinch a little, cheeks sore from his hold just a bit ago. He coos, smoothing his hand over the fingerprints that he left. “I’m going to cum first, and then you. Right? You want to be good, don’t you?” His voice sounds like he’s trying to explain something to a child, as his hand drags down your body until his thumb sneaks in between your folds, rubbing at your clit.

You buckle, a high pitched keen falling from your lips as your legs spread wider, your hands coming up to your knees and pulling them back. “Yeah,” you say, nodding. Mind a little hazy again, just wanting to appease him so he keeps his hands on you, so he’s proud of you. “Wanna be good. For you.”

“My sweet girl,” he whispers, his hips working skillfully into yours.

The praise makes you high, and you just know that you look like one of those lewd doujinshi girls with the flushed cheeks and the heart eyes. Huge tits bouncing every time he fucks into you, faster now, while he continues to play with your clit.

He moves your legs to his shoulders, and braces himself on the table so that he can ram his cock into you, bends you a little so that he can see the way your face twists as he fucks you deeper. You glance at your belly, looking for that bump, and god there’s something so hot about being able to see just how big he is, how he stuffs you to the absolute brim, every time he shoves his fat cock into your little cunt.

It makes you whine and grip at his forearms, nails digging into his flesh and he moans, head rolling back, hips snapping forward even faster like he’s starting to lose control. The tip of his cock kisses places inside of you that make you fuzzy in the head and his girth stretches you out so well, can feel every ridge of him against the sensitive walls of your pussy.

“Wait-” you say, a little panic lacing your dainty whine. “Slow down, gonna cum-”

“Don’t __, hold it,” he warns, moving your legs back to his waist. He does slow his thrusts a little, but he’s mean. He brings his fingers back to your clit, rubbing like he wants you to cum, like he knows you’re going to, despite his warnings.

“Please,” you whimper, hands coming down to grip at his wrist, “you gotta stop or I’m gonna-” you turn your head, bury your face into your shoulder, hiding from him. Your body is so tense with your effort to listen and be good for him, straining against the high that's quickly cornering you.

“Look at me, baby,” he says, sounds breathy and so turned on, but also like he’s amused, “You’re gonna what?”

God, he sounds so smug.

Your eyes are watery, and your flushed head to toe as you try to keep the rush at bay, but when you look at him and see his condescending smirk that matches his condescending tone, it does you in. Your walls clench around his cock and your clit is so sensitive and his touch is so good, you have no chance really.

“Gonna cum-” you cry, legs shaking, as your pussy starts to contract around him. Little pulses as you cream all over his length, high pitched moans coloring the air. You bring your hands to your face, covering yourself like you don’t want him to see as you wraith against the table,

Jeongguk sighs, like this is exactly what he wanted, like forcing you to cum on his cock is the most gratifying thing in the universe. He’s trying to keep from cumming himself, the clench of your hot, soaking cunt almost too much for him, but he focuses on you. The guilty way that you’re hiding from him while simultaneously working your cunt over him makes something short circuit in his brain, so fucking in love.

His thrusts start slowing down gradually along with his fingers so that he doesn’t overstimulate you, wanting to only make you feel good.

He tsks, once you’ve come down, body still thrumming with pleasure tremors as you lay on the table, his cock still throbbing inside of your pussy. “So naughty, baby.”

You giggle into the hands still over your face, a bit delirious. “Yeah, so naughty.”

Jeongguk starts fucking into you again, “Don’t seem like you’re sorry for not listening?”

“You made me, it's your fault,” you tell him, finally looking at him again with hazy cum-drunk eyes. Pawing at the shirt he’s somehow evading losing this whole time, you try to get your breathing under control. He takes it off without complaint and you hum at the sight and feel, his body lean and pretty, a little sweaty and hot under your hands.

He still sounds sweet, gentle as he tells you, “Hush, gonna pull my cock out and fuck your mouth if you keep talking.”

You laugh a little again. He’s the one that keeps asking you questions. Your orgasm has made you playful and carefree, just a little toy for him to play with now that he’s taken care of you. “Mmm, cum in my mouth?”

Jeongguk groans, and you can tell he’s getting close, his hands coming up to grip and play with your tits to get him there, as his hips start to lose their rhythm. “No way, you’re so spoiled and not even fucking sorry. And you never fucking learn. Not cumming inside you at all.” ”

That knocks you out of your afterglow quickly, “Wait, no,” you whine.

Your eyes search for his gaze, a little needy and panicked, but his eyes are closed, and his brows are furrowed, and you’re steadily ignored. The more lost in you that he gets, the more you want his cum. His grunts and groans that turn to needy whines make you keen, and his hands that tremble a little as they rub over your curves bring chills to your body.

“Fuck,” he moans, “You’re so rotten but your pussy is so good, gonna make me cum.”

“Inside me?” you chirp, trying again.

But he just shakes his head, bottom lip getting pulled between his teeth like he’s concentrating and trying to tune you out. Truly just using you for his pleasure as his blonde hair sways a little with every pump of his cock.

“Please, I want it, Kookie,” you whine.

“Don’t care,” he grits out, bringing a hand to your tummy, as he looks down his body to where his cock disappears into your pussy. He backs up some, getting ready to pull out and finish on you, as he brings himself as close to the edge as he can with your cunt. “I- Fuck I’m gonna cum,” he whispers, eyes squeezing shut.

As his hand moves from your belly to his cock, you act quickly. You wrap your legs around his waist again before he’s able to fully pull out, his tip still snug inside. Then you lock them behind him and pull him forward.

Jeongguk stumbles a little, his cock sliding right back in, quick and all the way to the hilt. He was so close before that that one last stoke into your wet cunt is all he needed to finish, to spill inside of you. His mouth falls open with a choked gasp and his face scrunching in pleasure. You moan with him as you feel the first hot shot of white paint your pussy, and the way he still milks himself inside, despite your fiendish ways, makes new waves of arousal settle in your lower belly.

When Jeongguk drowsily blinks his eyes open he’s met with your sheepish, very pleased with yourself smile.

“Sorry?” you say, charm turned on heavy.

He shakes his head at you, a smile playing on his lips as he tries to bite it down. He settles over you more, resting on his forearms, his cock still blanketed by your pussy. He nips your cheek as his fingers play with the white ears on your head. “Why don’t you ever listen, kitty?” He presses that smile he was trying to hide into the apple.

You giggle, his hair tickling you some, “Isn’t there a saying that’s like ‘don’t ask for permission, ask for forgiveness- it’s easier’?”

“You did ask, I said no,” his laugh melds with yours. “Gonna make you behave next time, be a good pet for me.”

You hum, running a hand through his hair, choosing to ignore his threats. “Want me to zap your food again? I bet it’s cold by now.”

~~~~

HELLO IT IS I, the procrastinator!! but here it is!! back to your regularly scheduled smut, and not soul crushing angst!! i hope you liked it <3 also sorry for splitting it into parts i just havent posted in foreverrr... also the pet play aspect is going to be rather light even in the next part, so if you are unsure of it do not fear!! please do all the things if you enjoyed: reblog, like, comment, share, send an ask~~ as always, i love talking to you guys :*

omg also thanks for helping me hit another milestone as well as a mini one on top of that!! :o

also also, this is what oc was wearing!! soooo cute <3

okie bye ily muah!!

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versadies · 3 years

Note

Hello!! Can I request a song fic of that Scaramouche concept you thought of(if that is allowed)?? Sorry if this seems messy, You can ignore this if you want. The song can be any of your choosing, but if it required to choose a song, then the song can be "Alec Benjamin - Let Me Down Slowly". Thanks in advance!!

down slowly (songfic)

penpal: omg i honestly didn’t expect someone to request this 😳😳😳 hope you like this!!

pairing/s: scaramouche x gn!reader (reader knows how to sing)

sypnosis: an au where the reader was the original 6th harbinger and the calm, intelligent scaramouche was their right hand man. a tale of how he becomes the scaramouche we know of after a tragic incident that happened to the reader.

warning/s: death, violence, ooc!scaramouche (he's not going to act like the canon one)

song: let me down slowly by alec benjamin

note: scaramouche's role for you is basically like sara to baal but there's romance between the two of you (your age in here is the same as scaramouche's). take note that anything related to scaramouche’s past here is not canon to the actual lore.

this night is cold in the kingdom i can feel you fade away

it was in inazuma when he met you, beating all the fatui agents thinking that they were going to beat you, a "helpless" person.

your cold eyes was the first thing he laid eyes on when he looks up at you.

"and who you may be?" you asked, staring at the man in disgust as you stand up from the ground and pat your outfit. "you must be bold enough to beat down ten fatui agents in front of a harbinger."

while others would've been peeing their pants at the sight of your presence alone, he stared at you as though you're the most divine thing.

you scoffed at his silence. "can't talk buddy?" you asked, causing him to blink a few times before standing up quickly and bow down. "apologies, i-i thought they were going to-"

"fight me? please, if anything they're going to be the ones getting beaten down by me." you cut him off, glancing at the unconscious agents with a sigh, not noticing how scaramouche felt his mouth twitch upward a bit from your comment.

"though i must say, the way you fought them is impressive- even without using your vision and all." you said blankly, adjusting your hat.

"....i beg your pardon?" he asks, causing you to roll your eyes. "do i have to repeat myself? it's not everyday that you have a harbinger praising your skills."

before scaramouche could say anything, you immediately interrupted again, looking at him as though you thought of an incredible idea.

"say.. why don't you join the fatui?"

from the kitchen to the bathroom sink and your steps keep me awake

the man then found himself being a part of the fatui. if there's one thing that makes the fatui less sufferable for scaramouche: it was you, the 6th harbinger of the fatui, the balladeer.

although he had to go through extreme measures to get to his position as the right-hand man, it was worth it being able to be by your side. even if he has to listen to you yelling and cursing at your subordinates all day, it was worth it.

your reputation among the fatui is truly something scaramouche looks up to, the cunning-intelligent individual who can turn the skies to purple and struck opponents down with lightning. not only were you one of the most intelligent but also one of the most powerful harbingers that teyvat has ever seen.

and no, he doesn't care about the fact that you're the most disliked harbinger. to him, you're his savior and the only person he could spend an eternity with.

besides, you brought him something worth living for.

it was the cold atmosphere he felt when you first praised him as a fatui member.

"how are the recruits while i was away?" you asked, walking around the hallways of the zapolyarny palace with scaramouche following behind, making pace with you. "they've been to their assigned positions and i assigned a few of the subordinates to supervise them."

"good." you then stood in front of the doors of where the tsaritsa resides, fixing yourself before taking a deep breath. "you may start preparing our next mission. i'll be back in my office shortly once i'm done talking to the tsaritsa."

he bows. "understood, my lord/lady."

"i'll see you then, scarmouche. keep up with the good work."

don't cut me down, throw me out, leave me here to waste i once was a man with dignity and grace

although he was living the dream of being your right-hand man, he often seen people talking about him behind his back. it doesn't bother him, really, but sometimes it gets irritating whenever one mentions your name for such a pathetic conversation.

however, he would never expect a fatui agent to push him off the cliff in the cold embrace of snezhnaya's winter with no sign of coming back. all of this because of how envy the agent is of you "favoring" scaramouche.

it was a miracle that he survived (with major injuries of course) - though, he was astounded that the fatui agent didn't think of taking him to a higher cliff to instantly kill him.

if only he had a pyro vision to keep him warm.

given the circumstances, scaramouche would most likely die from hypothermia if not blood loss. he didn't think this is how he'd died. he thought he'll die from protecting you, or even from old age. but no, he had to die in a pathetic cold way.

it felt like hours, days even. the pain was killing him slowly as he stares at the sky.

however, when he heard familiar footsteps coming nearby followed by a familiar voice calling out his name, he felt relieved, finally allowing himself to embrace the comfort of slumber.

he heard the sounds of your humming when he woke up.

you stopped humming, watching as he slowly wakes up from his slumber. "oh good, you're awake." you spoke up, a dull expression on your face was plastered. "and here i thought i was going to waste my time waiting for my right-hand man to wake up."

"how... how did i get here?" he asked, voice hoarse. you sigh in response, leaning against the chair more. "i was the one who found you. one of my cicin mages reported me that a stupid agent recklessly boasted about how he left you in the middle of nowhere while being injured and can become the next right-hand man." you answered.

his breath hitches at your response. you decided to go through snezhnaya just to look for him?

if scaramouche wasn't in love back then, he's head-over-heels for you now.

"don't think i actually had to drop my responsibilities for you. the fatui agent killed himself before we could get any information on him, so i let my most trustworthy agents to search for you but didn't find you at all. i had to find you myself instead." you said, as if you read his mind. "besides, you didn't die and you didn't deserve what you went through."

he watched as you stood up from your seat. "i'll be taking my leave given that you look okay." you then snap your fingers, gesturing the nurse behind you to treat him. "take your time in healing. just come back to my office when you're okay enough to work."

before scaramouche could say anything, you already left the room, leaving him alone with the nurse.

although he felt flattered that you went around the nation to look for him, all he could think about was how you must've been disappointed that he's weak enough to be killed by a fatui agent.

now I'm slippin' through the cracks of your cold embrace so please, please

the moment he was released from being hospitalized, he started to focus on being stronger - stronger enough to prevent himself from being pushed off on the cliff by a jealous agent, stronger enough to take down 20 agents in less than 5 minutes, stronger enough to protect you -

stronger enough to become a harbinger.

when you found out of scaramouche's new goal, he was surprised that you started helping him. teaching him how to defend himself without a vision.

"if there's one thing i can teach you about being a harbinger, it's better to have nothing to lose." you said to him one day as the both of you stroll around inazuma. "when being a harbinger, there has to be a lot of consequences that one must face. it's better to face them alone than to see someone you care for suffer because of the consequences you caused."

he felt your cold hand as he brushed his fingers against yours when passing documents to you.

"i see..." he said in understanding.

"kill my curiosity but do you not have someone who you consider as your loved one?" you asked, raising your eyebrow in confusion.

scaramouche pauses from your question. indeed he does not have one other than you- but he knows he couldn't say it's you. why would he? he's aware that you'll never look at him the same way he does to you.

you'll never love him.

"i don't, my lord/lady."

and it hurts to know.

could you find a way to let me down slowly? a little sympathy, I hope you can show me

he wonders what would happen to you and him when he becomes a harbinger.

"oh? you're planning on becoming an official harbinger once we get back?" you asked, looking at scaramouche as though he has two heads. you cackled in amusement and comment, "hah! good luck with that, i'd like to see you try."

you took note of how he's oddly silent. "you're being weird lately, what's gotten into you?" you ask.

"forgive me but may i ask.. what will happen to us when the day comes, my lord/lady?" he asks, hesitant laced in his tone.

you furrowed your eyebrows. "the day when you're a harbinger?" he nods in response, looking away from your gaze with a sigh. "i was wondering if... if we could still be together-"

suddenly he felt your cold fingers cupping his cheeks and turns him around to your direction.

he could taste the sweetness of your lips when you kissed him.

it was a short kiss, but he felt like he's on top of the world. is this a dream? please don't wake him up from this dream.

you then wipe your mouth, chuckling at his astounded reaction. "that," you breathed out. "is what will happen to you and i when you become a harbinger."

he felt his heart beating so fast, watching as you look at one of the most dangerous areas of inazuma. "this shall be your last mission, scaramouche."

if you wanna go then i'll be so lonely if you're leavin', baby, let me down slowly

he thought he finally has what he wanted.

"why?" he breathed out, staring at you with wide eyes as though you did something bad. "why did you do it?"

you shakily look up at him, trying to ignore the overwhelming exhaustion from your body. you overestimated yourself in using your foul legacy but you didn't care, all that was in your thoughts was making sure scaramouche isn't in danger.

you will not let the only person who doesn't hate you die.

"i had to." you said weakly. "go, leave this nation. report to the tsaritsa of my passing and take my position."

he shook his head, kneeling beside you. "i refuse to leave you, my lord/lady."

you chuckle lightly. "idiot. the agents will take my body back to snezhnaya, of course you won't leave me." you then look down at your vision, watching its light flickering.

"take my vision with you too."

he felt a part of his soul disappear as the light of your eyes fades away, leaving nothing but your fatigued corpse on his arms.

from that day, he stopped shedding tears.

let me down, down, let me down, down, let me down let me down, down, let me down, down, let me down

he stares at your.. his vision.

as soon as he was announced as the new 6th harbinger of the fatui, your vision glowed under his palm, showing a familiar color of purple.

was this the electro archon's way of mocking him for what happened?

he grits his teeth. out of all the times he could've earned his vision, it had to be weeks after suffering the things he endured to have this position,

and it had to be in the vision you once used before you pass.

"i'll live on for your legacy, my lord/lady." scaramouche mumbled to himself, staring down at your hat on his desk. not only did the tsaritsa appointed him as the 6th harbinger but she also assigned everything you own as his. your title, your office, your unit, everything you once owned was now his.

it was clear to him that he's no longer the weak scaramouche that always follows the balladeer's footsteps. he's now the vengeful balladeer that yearns for the screams of his victims in inazuma, living in your name.

he’s now devoted to the tsaritsa, unknown to her majesty that it was all an act just because you taught him so.

he treats his subordinates the way you treat them, making everyone being weirded out by how he's so much like you. although he despises the gossip that runs through the organization, he really can’t deny that he does act like you,

he has nothing to lose after all.

if you wanna go then i'll be so lonely if you're leavin', baby, let me down slowly

#SAKK:DHK i hope its clear that this is just an au and none of this is literally accurate from the canon version #take note that there were only 6 harbingers during this story!!#scaramouche hc #scaramouche headcanons #scaramouche x y/n #scaramouche genshin #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact scenario #genshin impact x reader #genshin headcanons #genshin impact fanfiction #genshin #genshin scaramouche #genshin angst #genshin x reader #genshin impact au #genshin impact

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mirclealignr · 3 years

Text

Regulus Black Fluff Alphabet

regulus x gn! reader

requested by anon

warnings; brief mentions of food and anxiety

from this alphabet

A - Affection; how they like to show their love.

Regulus does a lot through touch and reassuring looks/smiles. He finds it hard sometimes to express just how he feels about you, especially considering expressions of love were severely lacking in his life. But when he holds your hand or caresses your face, he feels as if he's spilling all his secrets, and hopes that you understand them.

B - Beauty; what do they especially admire about you?

Your warmth. At first it was practically disarming, but overtime he learned to embrace it and miss it when it was absent, when you were absent. It would be so different to what he was used to, especially with the people closest to him. But he would adore the change that was you.

C - Cuddles; how they like to cuddle you.

Most of the time he likes to have his arms around you, sitting up slightly while you lay against his chest. There's a sense of safety he finds in knowing that you can hear his heartbeat and that it doesn't scare you off. But sometimes, he likes it when you take him in your arms and he can nuzzle in the crook of your neck.

D - Dancing; their favourite place to dance with you.

He is simply a hopeless romantic, and loves to dance with you when it's dark and raining outside, when the two of you are almost completely alone. He loves watching you smile as the rain seeps into your clothes and dampens your hair, and when you rest your head on his chest for some shelter.

E - Excitement; do they get excited with you about things?

Regulus likes to understand things before he gets excited about them with you. If you come running to him with an elated expression and start rambling about whatever brought you this pleasure, he'd want to know why. He'd want to understand you and relate to you. Almost always, he'd become just as excited as you.

F - First Date; your first date together.

The Astronomy Tower. Regulus would want to be alone with you, without prying or judging eyes. It wouldn't be much, maybe some snacks and a drink he brought for you, but he would want to hear you talk and laugh and to see you smile. He'd want to know your likes and dislikes, the memories you cherished, and things you looked back on and laughed at.

G - Goals; do they have things they want to achieve? Do they include you in these things?

For Regulus, his future goals remain largely unclear. Before you, he thought it was simple, but afterwards it would become far more complicated. With the weight of his family, and Sirius' abandonment making it heavier, he would often try to avoid the thought. But if you ever brought it up, he'd tell you that wherever you were, he would be.

H - Honesty; how open are they with you?

Very. Trust is something extremely important to him. While he may not tell you everything the second it happens, he does have every intention of letting you see every side of him, even the parts he wished would vanish from existence. Upon getting to know you, the trials of his family would be revealed slowly, rather than all at once, so he didn't overwhelm you. Of course, he'd be terrified, but he knew it was better that way, and he knew that you would love him all the same.

I - I Love You; do they say it a lot? did they say it first?

Regulus does not say it first, though he'd be sure he felt it first. He confesses straight after you, though, and gradually says it more and more over time. Expressing his feelings would not come easy, and sometimes, rather than tell you how much he appreciated you for listening or how beautiful he thought you were, he simply said 'I love you' in replacement, hoping that it would be enough.

J - Jealousy; do they get jealous?

Not necessarily jealous, but rather insecure. When he sees you laughing with someone else, he'd wonder whether they were better suited to you--they were warmer, more free, happier. Perhaps he brought you down, perhaps he weighed you down, and though he didn't express these insecurities out loud, he'd always seem to be easily read by you. And you'd always be there to reassure him when you needed to.

K - Kiss; their favourite place to kiss you.

Your hands. For Regulus, hands mean so much, represent so much, and yours are his to kiss and hold as much as he pleases. To him it would feel incredibly intimate, despite the fact that your hands can touch others, but that they're only his to kiss and hold. People can always get close, but never as close as he can.

L - Little Spoon; who’s the little spoon?

The majority of the time, you are the little spoon. He likes the idea that he is able to protect you, actually make you feel safe and wanted; it's one of the things he prides himself on. But, there woulds be times when he needed to feel that, and revelled in the warmth of your embrace tightening around him, holding him close.

M - Melody; what’s your song together?

I think your song together would be 'I Want to Hold Your Hand' by The Beatles.

N - Nicknames; do they use nicknames for you?

Yes a few. Some of them would include 'treasure' and/or 'my treasure' because he adores you and could not think of anything better than you. For him, you are what people search for their whole lives, sometimes without ever finding it. And, because he speaks French, ‘mon chéri /ma chérie' for definite.

O - Open Book; how hard was it to get to know them?

It wasn't necessarily hard, just gradual. However, you would have always suspected that Regulus did not have it easy and were content with him going at his own pace, and appreciating that he was brave enough to reveal it all to you. It never seemed too slow, rushed, or overwhelming--he picked his timings well and never let things become too heavy. He'd also be very conscious that everyone had their own burdens, and would make sure he always left time and room for you to air anything you wanted or needed.

P - PDA; how affectionate they are in public.

Not very much at all. He prefers to show you his love when it's just the two of you. But he isn't afraid to let other people know that you're in a relationship, and will often intertwine his fingers with yours, whisper things in your ear, and kiss your temple.

Q - Quirk: a weird but loveable trait of theirs.

He never signs his name, he always signs R.A.B. Even when it's small notes to you, little love letters, or ordinary letters, he will never sign it as Regulus, but with his full initials.

R - Romance; how romantic are they?

So much. He loves leaving you love notes, writing love letters to you, slow dancing with you, playing music for you, watching the stars with you, whispering sweet nothings in your ear, snuggling up in bed with you with a good book. He loves to do it all.

S - Secrets; do they keep secrets from you?

Not really. Perhaps only ones he thinks would unnecessarily hurt you, like what his family says about you. He doesn't tell you because he doesn't think it matters, they don't matter to him, only you do, and he wants their words to mean nothing.

T - Thrill; do they like to keep the relationship new and exciting?

He likes to, and he tries. He certainly likes surprising you, even if only to see that smile. He likes taking you places, learning your favourite songs on the piano simply because you like hearing them, taking you on spontaneous trips or dates. He's not on for grand, public gestures, but he still keeps excitement in the relationship his own way. But he also knows when things need to be slow and calm, and doesn't mind it either way.

U - Understanding; how they comfort/support when you’re upset or anxious.

He knows that most things said would be wrong, even if they were intended to be reassuring and understanding. Even when you talk about what's bothering you or don't, it can be hard to say the right thing. So instead, he takes you in his arms, rubs your back, kisses your cheek and gets you any comfort foods that you wish for. Sometimes, words speak far less than actions.

V - Vexed; how easily they lose their temper.

With his family, and even with Sirius, Regulus can lose his temper very quickly, but you understand that their relationship has not been easy, nor do you care for his family. With you, it's rare that he loses his temper or raises his voice at you. When he does, there are usually other factors that have contributed to his mood, and he is quick to apologise afterwards.

W - Weakness; what’s their weakness what it comes to you?

Your smile. So easily it can make him feel like he's falling from the stars, watching the constellations become smaller and smaller as he slips into the earth's atmosphere, burning and smiling and falling completely in love with you every time he sees it.

X - Xtra; random hc about them.

Regulus likes to speak in French to you when there are things he is too afraid to say or things he thinks sound more romantic when said in another language. Even if you can understand him, there's something less nerve-racking about saying it in French, it's almost like he's playing himself in another world, but still hopelessly in love with you.

Y - Years to Come; how they imagine your future together.

He doesn't like to think about the future often because he knows how easily it can change and fail to meet your expectations. He only hopes that he is with you, facing whatever is to come. He prefers to focus on the present, where he already is with you.

Z - Zzz; how they are when they sleep.

Incredibly still, almost scarily still. The only time he moves is to be closer to you, closer to your exuding warmth. It almost frightens you to move in case it wakes him or disturbs him, but if it does, he never lets on. - - - fill in this form or send an ask to be added to a tag list <3 forever friends; @myalupinblack / @selenes-sun / @vixxiann /@queen-asteria04 / @lillict / @savingpluto /@theincredibledeadlyviper / @pad-foots / @fizzleberries / @willowbleedsonpaper / @kinkyduuh harry potter; @fuckingbloodyhello / @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts / @scvrllet / @dreamerinthesun / @crazy-beautiful / @chaoticgirl04 /@cupids-crystals / @fandom-life-12 / @mypainistemporary-blog /@oliverwoodmarrymepls / @eunoniaa / @missryerye marauders era; @spxllcxstxr / @natashxromanovfreads / @ch /@sereinegemini / @helen-with-an-a / @sweeter-than-strawberries /@spxncervibes regulus black; @jackys-stuff-blog / @with-love-anu / @yinrose98 /@tarorootboba / @lyaseille / @bloodblossom73

#regulus black fluff #regulus black x reader #regulus black x y/n #regulus black x you #regulus x reader #regulus x y/n #regulus x you #regulus fluff

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yournameoneverypage · 3 years

Text

When You're Ready

Reader request: Shawn Mendes x (y/n). "Shawn is on tour and invites the reader to the show so he can ask her to be his girlfriend and he sings When You're Ready, but Camila shows up and the reader is convinced that it's for C and not for her."

Word Count: ~3.7

Notes: Mostly fluff with brief moments of angst, and a smut ending.

Warnings: NSFW

~ * ~

(Y/n) stood at baggage claim at LAX, waiting for her blush-colored suitcase to roll by on the carousel. She was going to be in California for almost a week. Why? Well, her best friend was Shawn Mendes and he was currently on tour. He was missing her something fierce, he had said, and he wanted her to come see him.

Shawn had two sold out shows, consecutive nights, at the Staples Center followed by a show in San Francisco three days later, so why not make a week of it? His idea, but the second he mentioned it she was on board. She’d figure it out, find a way to make it work.

Any time she got to spend with him was both treasured and torturous. But she would go through the pain and heartache over and over again if it meant nearly a week with her most favorite person.

See, the thing was, (y/n) had been in love with Shawn for nearly as long as she had known him.

~ * ~

After retrieving her bag, (y/n) went in search of her driver. Shawn had said he or she would be holding a sign with her name on it. Shawn had a few interviews to do that morning, so (y/n) would be taken to his hotel to wait for him to finish, and then they’d have the entire afternoon and evening to spend together.

Aside from the aforementioned interviews, this was a day off for Shawn and he wanted to make the most of it because the Staples Center shows were the following two nights, and there wouldn’t be much down time during the days with soundchecks, meet and greets, and Q&As before showtime. Fortunately they would have more time to spend together between LA and San Francisco.

(Y/n) located her driver, who smiled brightly and introduced himself as John. He took her bag and engaged her in friendly chatter as he led her toward an idling Range Rover.

Who left a vehicle like this idling curbside at the airport?

John opened the rear passenger door for her with a knowing grin. (Y/n) started to climb in before she even noticed him.

“Shawn!” She almost tipped over into his lap reaching across the seat to hug him.

“Surprise, babe!” he chuckled into her ear.

“You’re here!”

“I’m sorry I didn’t collect you myself, but as much as I love my fans, I didn’t want to get stuck here for a half an hour taking selfies.”

“I thought you were in interviews all morning.”

“I was. I was hoping to come with John to pick you up, but I honestly didn’t know how long all the interviews were going to take so I didn’t want you to be disappointed if I said I would be here but then wasn’t.”

He was always so thoughtful; it was one of the many, many things (y/n) loved about him. She linked her hand with his between them, squeezed, and smiled. “I missed you.”

With a grin, he leaned over and kissed her forehead. “Missed you, too. So much. I’m so happy you’re here,” he breathed.

~ * ~

The day flew by way too quickly.

Once Shawn got (y/n) checked in and settled at the hotel, in a room that adjoined his, they grabbed lunch at one of Shawn’s favorite places.

It was (y/n)’s first ever visit to Los Angeles. Shawn had asked her if there were any specific things that were on her must do/see list, and he’d take care of everything.

They visited the Griffith Observatory, and strolled down the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

(Y/n) thought, and Shawn agreed, that too much attention might be drawn to them if he was spotted along Venice Beach or the Santa Monica Pier, as he had already been approached a few times during their activities earlier in the day. (Y/n) had been understanding and supportive of him spending a few minutes chatting with his fans and taking photos. She actually took a few of the photos herself.

Another day, he promised.

Instead, they spent a good part of the late afternoon and early evening at the Getty Center Museum.

They had dinner in Little Tokyo, followed by drinks at a tiki bar. Only one for (y/n) because she was a lightweight and tiki drinks were known to be quite strong. Shawn stopped after two, as he had a full day the next day and didn’t want to risk waking up with a hangover.

Back at the hotel, freshly showered, in pajamas, and in Shawn’s room, stretched out on his king-sized bed, Shawn and (y/n) ordered something from room service to share.

Even though they had chosen a movie to watch, they were too busy talking and laughing to pay much attention to the television.

~ * ~

Staples Center, Day One, had (y/n) immersed in the thick of things with Shawn, his band, and his crew. She knew only a few of them and was introduced to many more. Her laminated pass was the same as what everyone else had, giving her access to anything and anywhere she wished.

She soaked up as much as possible.

Shawn didn’t always attend soundcheck with his band, but for (y/n) he definitely wanted to be there so she could fully experience it. She stayed backstage, chatting with Shawn’s people while he did his meet and greet photos. She sat in on his Q&A session but stayed unobtrusively toward the back of the room. She could talk to him whenever she wanted; this was his fans’ time with him.

The concert was unbelievable, as (y/n) knew it would be. Shawn always left his heart and gratitude on stage.

That night they were in (y/n)’s room, she on one of the doubles, Shawn in the other. He was still a little high on adrenaline, asking her how she enjoyed the day, and especially how she enjoyed the show.

She knew it wouldn’t be long before he completely crashed out. When he did, he was still in her room.

~ * ~

Staples Center, Day Two, was much the same, although they started the day with Shawn dragging (y/n) to the gym to work out with him. They also skipped soundcheck to get lost together in the backstage corridors.

The closer it came to showtime, the more anxious Shawn seemed to get. He had a different vibe about him than he had the night before.

While eating dinner, (y/n) asked him if everything was alright. He assured her everything was amazing; it just felt like something big was about to happen and he hoped it would turn out to be a good kind of big.

~ * ~

Again, the show was absolutely incredible, although after the song he normally ended with, before acknowledging his band and going into the encore, he tried to quiet the deafening audience with a finger pressed against his lips.

Of course, it was futile. He just laughed, somewhat nervously, and said, “This song is for someone very special to me. Someone who is here tonight. I want her to know how I feel about her...”

That seemed to get everyone’s attention.

Shawn found (y/n) in the audience, met her eyes, and smiled adoringly.

Maybe I had too many drinks But that's just what I needed I hope that you don't think that what I'm saying sounds conceited When I look across the room, and you're staring right back at me Like somebody told a joke and we're the only ones laughin'

(Y/n)’s heart started thumping. He couldn’t be singing this for her, could he...? He had never expressed any interest in her as more than a friend. Had he?

Don't know why I tried 'Cause ain't nobody like you Familiar disappointment every single time I do Every single night my arms are not around you My mind's still wrapped around you

A couple of girls beside (y/n) bent their heads together and pointed to something or someone standing to the side of the stage. Shawn seemed to notice, as she had, and looked toward the side stage.

She followed his line of vision to see Camila standing there, beaming brightly. She put her fingertips to her lips and blew him a big kiss.

(Y/n) didn’t notice, over the dizzying blood rush in her head, that Shawn seemed to stumble a little through the chorus.

Baby, tell me when you're ready I'm waitin' Baby, any time you're ready I'm waitin'

Even ten years from now If you haven't found somebody I promise, I'll be around Tell me when you're ready I'm waitin'

He glanced once more toward Camila, but just as quickly his smile settled again in (y/n)’s direction. His voice steadied and grew stronger.

What if my dad is right When he says that you're the one No, I can't even argue I won't even fight him on it Call you when it's late And I know that you're in bed 'Cause I'm three hours back Seems like you're always six ahead

(Y/n) smiled back, although it seemed more reflexive than genuine, as her heart was currently crumbling to pieces. She tried her hardest to be happy for her best friend and the woman he was currently confessing his feelings for, on stage, in front of everyone.

Don't know why I tried 'Cause ain't nobody like you Familiar disappointment every single time I do Every single night my arms are not around you My mind's still wrapped around you

Baby, tell me when you're ready I'm waitin' Baby, any time you're ready I'm waitin'

Even ten years from now If you haven't found somebody I promise, I'll be around Tell me when you're ready I'm waitin', yeah

And if I have to, I'll wait forever Say the word and I'll change my plans Yeah, you know that we fit together I know your heart like the back of my hand...

Before the song ended, overwhelmed, unable to continue her façade, (y/n) had slipped from the crowd and backstage.

She wasn’t sure where to go once she was backstage. She was fighting back tears, so her vision was blurry, but she didn’t want to stop to ask anyone how to get out of the venue because they might ask why she was crying and then it would all turn into one big mess.

A voice from behind her asked, “You’re Shawn’s friend, right? Are you looking for his dressing room?” Was she? Would she be able to face him after his encore and bows?

“Yes, please,” she found herself answering.

“End of the corridor, turn right, first door on the left.”

(Y/n) nodded her thanks and began to follow the directions she was given. She wasn’t sure if it would be the first or last place anyone would be looking for her.

~ * ~

Shawn burst into his dressing room, out of breath from the end of his show and running around looking for (y/n). Incredibly relieved to see her, he gasped, “Are you okay? What happened?? You just disappeared!”

“I’m sorry. I just needed a few minutes.”

“In the middle of the most important song of the night?”

Her voice cracked. “I said I was sorry.” And she was. She should have stayed till the end. “I was caught off guard.”

“Oh no, babe. Shit! I’m sorry, (y/n). I overwhelmed you, didn’t I? I shouldn’t have made it so public. It should have been a private conversation. Forgive me?” he whispered.

“Of course. You’re my best friend and I’m happy for you,” she smiled softly, truly. And she was. His happiness meant more to her than anything else. It was just going to take some time to refortify her heart. “I wish you and Camila the best.”

“Camila?” Little wrinkles formed between his eyebrows. “What are you talking about?”

“What do you mean, what am I talking about?” she puffed.

Suddenly Shawn started laughing.

(Y/n) placed her hands in the center of his chest and pushed him away, unamused.

He caught her wrists and pulled her to him. “I wasn’t singing that song for her.” He placed her hands over his heart and covered them with his own. “I was singing it for you, my beautiful, clueless, wonderful, precious love.”

“What?” she exhaled.

“I finished singing and looked for your eyes, only to find you gone.”

“I don’t understand,” she whispered.

“I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend. Not Camila. You, (y/n). In front of the entire Staples Center audience. Why did you think I wanted Camila?”

“You kept looking at her side stage.”

“I glanced at her twice,” he contended, lightheartedly. “I was surprised. I didn’t expect her to be here tonight. It’s true that she recently told me she has deeper feelings for me-”

“And you have always had feelings for her.”

“I had feelings for her. Past tense. Before I met you. Are you really arguing with me about how I feel about you?” he smirked.

“But you didn’t sing that song last night, when Camila wasn’t here.”

“You are!” he laughed again.

“Stop laughing!” she exclaimed, unable to stop herself from giggling, her heart blooming with hope. She then whispered, “Did you really mean it?”

“Oh, darling...

“If I had professed my feelings last night and you had turned me down, I don’t think I would have been able to get through tonight. Telling you tonight, when there were three days before San Francisco, would have either given us time to disappear together for a few days, or would have given me time to sort myself out if you didn’t want me the way I want you.

“Please tell me you want me.”

(Y/n) wanted to scream, yes, I want you!, but instead she teased, trying to keep a straight face, “I don’t know. Any boyfriend of mine has to be a good kisser. Are you a good kisser?”

“I am a fantastic kisser,” he grinned. He tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and slid his hand to the nape of her neck.

“Prove it.”

His other hand circled her waist, fell against the small of her back. He leaned in, watched her eyelids flutter, then close, and gently guided her lips to his.

She had imagined this moment for so long but it was much more than she had ever expected. Thousands of thoughts were forced away to make room for one single idea. How could one kiss cause the world to fall away around her?

“Shawn,” she said, breathless, easing away.

“Still proving it,” he murmured. He softly licked at the seam of her lips, and when she responded he deepened their kiss. Her heart was pounding, and she was warm from head to toe. She felt his tongue meet hers and her entire body began to hum.

Their knees were weak when their lips separated.

Shawn touched his nose to hers. “Well...?”

“I will be more than happy to kiss you all night long, but only after you take a shower,” she giggled.

~ * ~

(Y/n) knocked on the adjoining door. She didn’t wait for a response before letting herself through.

Shawn was leaning against the dresser, partly sitting on it, phone to his ear, wearing nothing but baggy, cotton pajama pants. His chest and feet were bare. By his side of the conversation, (y/n) grasped that they were talking about the plan for the days leading up to San Francisco.

He held his hand out to her in invitation. His legs fell open and she automatically moved into the V they made. He ended his call, set his cell aside, and placed his large hands on her hips.

“So, about what you said... Something about kissing me all night long?”

She moved even closer to him. One of her hands curled around the back of his neck, the other tangled in his still damp curls. The roughened pads of his thumbs caressed the bare, soft skin just above the waistband of her pajama shorts.

She kissed him, tenderly at first, and then with growing intensity. He gently bit her top lip, sucked it, her teeth tugged on his lower lip. His kiss was determined and sent her head spinning. She began to tremble as she clung to him.

Shawn’s lips slowed and softened; he eased away and breathed, “I’ve already waited so long; we can take our time.” He slid his hands further up (y/n)’s sides, under her shirt. “We don’t have to rush into anything. I can wait for you.” She felt his thumbs brush either side of her breasts.

She started trailing tiny kisses from his chin up along his jawline before touching the tip of her tongue to the lobe of his ear. “I don’t want to wait,” she purred.

“Oh, thank God,” he groaned before again pressing hungry lips to hers.

She responded without hesitation.

Her hands trailed down his chest and to his sides, her fingers playing over the ripples of his stomach. She brushed her knuckles against the start of his arousal and his breath hitched, cupped him through thin cotton.

He arched his pelvis against the heat of her palm and she heard a low, rumbling moan from the back of his throat. He tangled a hand in her hair, tugged gently. He bit down on the skin of her clavicle, sucked, soothed it with his tongue.

She pulled away from his mouth. “Shawn!” she scolded, playfully, chuckled, “You’re going to leave a mark!”

“Good. Show everyone you’re mine. Mark you everywhere. But this,” he smirked, kissing the already purpling bloom, “will be the only one people can see.”

“Fuck,” she sighed. His claim on her made a shiver trickle up her spine.

“If you insist,” he grinned, smugly.

Feeling bold and sexy, she hooked a fingertip in the waistband of his pajama bottoms and starting walking backward. He stood to his full height and followed.

(Y/n) felt the backs of her legs hit the mattress. With fluid movement, she slid her shorts down, stepped out of them, and pulled her camisole up and over her head. She stood before him in small lace panties, breasts bare, nipples tight.

The way he looked upon her made her blood thrum, her body flush. He licked his lips, bit softly on the fuller, lower one.

His hand reached out and cupped one of her breasts. He gently tugged at her nipple, rolling it between his thumb and forefinger. Instinctively, her hand slipped between her legs, at her core, and she rubbed herself through the damp lace. His nostrils flared when he caught the scent of her arousal. He whimpered, her name falling like a prayer from his lips.

“I wanna see you,” (y/n) purred.

Obeying, oh so eagerly, Shawn pushed his pants down, over his ass, off, his cock bouncing free, filling, curling up toward his stomach right before her eyes. He wrapped thumb and forefinger around the base, his other fingers pressed flush against his scrotum.

“Been thinking about me like this?” he hummed.

Yes. God, yes. Maybe one day she would tell him just how much. It was her turn to lick her lips and bite the lower one.

They fell together onto the bed in a tangle of limbs and with a crash of lips. When they separated to catch their breath, (y/n) reached over to turn off the bedside lamp.

“Nuh-uh, Sugar,” Shawn rasped. “Waited too long for this.” Voice rough with desire he sang softly, “I wanna love you with the lights on, keep you up all night long... Darling, I wanna see every inch of you, I get lost in the way you move...”

She might have giggled if her panties weren’t being drawn down over her hips, if calloused fingertips hadn’t begun to dance along soft, hot, electrified skin, lips and tongue following.

He took a dusky, peaked nipple into his mouth. Her back arched, hands grasping at the sheets at her sides, and moaned softly. He sucked her other nipple into his mouth, tasting, humming.

“Shawn,” she whined, moving a hand to tangle it in his dark curls, tugging him away from her breasts.

“Tell me what you want, Love.”

“I want you. I need you,” she pleaded.

“What was that?”

“Fuck me, Shawn.”

“Mm... Since you asked so sweetly,” he smirked, stroking his cock. He rolled on a condom and moved to rest between her legs.

She reached between them, taking him in her hand, and he shuddered. She wanted to feel the moment he slid into her. He let her guide him. Their eyes met and held, bodies drew together, foreheads touched. She groaned with deep satisfaction into his mouth as she adjusted to his girth and length.

He wheezed, stilled as he bottomed out. She was so tight around him that if he began to move in that moment it would be over too soon.

“You okay there, Mendes?” she purred and imperceptibly tightened her legs around his waist.

“Oh God.” That tiny shift was almost too much. “You feel so good. Too good,” he mumbled. “I need a minute.” His arms on either side of her, holding his weight above her, he buried his lips in the crook of her neck, centered on the scent of her skin as he salvaged control.

One hand again tangled in in his hair, the other stroked the skin of his upper back.

“Okayokay,” he mumbled, and he began to rock into her, slow... rhythmic... deep.

She gasped when the pebbled nubs of her breasts brushed against his taut nipples. Her whimpers and groans mingled with his rumbles and moans. She was torn between closing her eyes and wanting to watch his face as warmth and pleasure coursed through her.

He wanted her to climax before him. Wanted to watch her fall apart beneath him.

He knew she was nearly there when she began to ripple on the bed like a wave on the sea. The tide came all the way up; he was caught in the rush. And then the knot at the root of his cock dissolved in fire and he was falling fast, craving the feel of her so close to him, unsure where he ended and she began.

( FIN )

~ * ~

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