#also my friends are now bullying me over giving steven as they call it a ''dumpy'' and im reconsidering my life choices (im not) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

saccmaass · 3 years ago

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Recommended Steve Rogers fics

Here’s a list of all my favorite steve rogers fics I’ve read lately, I hope you’ll enjoy them as much as I did! if you have any fic recs of your own pls send them thanks!

Note: Please pay attention to the warnings

Thank you @firefly-graphics for the dividers :)

Locked Out by @kayteewritessteve Modern AU

A much needed trip to the laundry room takes a turn for the worse when you realize you’ve locked yourself out of your apartment.

Cross the Street by @anika-ann A request

You're about to cross the street, but you're listening to music, so absorbed in your favorite song that you don't notice a car speeding towards you. Someone yanks you back onto the sidewalk.

Bullies, Bullied by @anika-ann Half headcanon

Steve doing little acts of service… meaning he’d give people working at the Avengers Tower who are jerks a taste of their own medicine in almost innocent ways. And maybe entertaining you, the girl he had an eye on for a while, in the process. When you’re the one bullied though… there’s no innocent way. That man is going to pay.

Drunk In Love by @bonky-n-steeb

Steve is drunk not only on Asgardian mead, but also on your love.

Making It Count by @bonky-n-steeb A request

super fluff moment with Nomad Steve.

Love Thy Neighbour by @bonky-n-steeb Neighbours AU

Steve isn’t as innocent as you had thought

Say You Love Me by @bonky-n-steeb Royal AU

Steve loves you; you love Steve. There’s just one catch, Steve is a prince and you are his page.

Eve’s Apple by @bonky-n-steeb Best friend’s dad AU

When Sarah invites you for a sleepover, you expect to meet some regular dad, not the dilf of your dreams.

No Strings Attached by @viperbarnes EX’s

“Every time you’ve called me, I’ve come,” Steve says, voice thick with hurt, and you clench your teeth. “Every. Time.”

Reader And Steve Don't Get Along by @assembletheimagines enemies to lovers

Captain America gets on your nerves. But he could say the same about you.

Morning Wood by @angrythingstarlight Nomad!Steve

Your new neighbor Steve gives you more than one surprise in the morning.

Steve Catching You Sneaking Off by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord

“Can I ask you why you wanna push your luck? ‘Cause that’s what you’re doing,” & “Not that my choices are any of your business, but I’ve turned over a new leaf.” Tags under the cut.

Seeing Steve & Sam Exercising by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord

Running With Steve by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord

Marrying Pre-Serum Steve by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord

The Day After Sleeping With Steve by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord

Telling Steve Rogers You Love Him by @imamotherfuckingstar-lord

In the Name of the King by @anika-ann medieval/fantasy AU

Sir Steven Rogers, having risen from common people, now one of the most trusted knights to prince Anthony. You, nothing but a servant, albeit to Princess Maria herself.

In the Name of All That’s Holy by @anika-ann medieval/fantasy AU

Finally having married your love, Knight Steven Rogers, you are ought to be happy – for he is the gentlest, kindest and most loving man… who happens to be very handsome as well. And dutiful. So very dutiful and proud of his place at court that he might be neglecting his other duties, like the ones of a husband.

Secret and Sins by @kayteewritessteve Mobster AU

You flee from an abusive situation and find yourself on the other side of the country, creating new friends and possibly finding new love. But will you be able to escape your past? To truly move on with your life? Or will everything come crashing down around you in the blink of an eye?

If You Only Knew by @kayteewritessteve Modern AU

You arrive home one day to find a wedding invite for two of your best friends from high school. You knew this day was going to come eventually, but even with that said, you weren’t prepared to return home. At least not after 7 years of avoiding Buckhannon, West Virginia. Or rather, avoiding him; your ex-best friend and the secret love of your life. But maybe it was finally time to face your past, to face him and everything else that happened on that horrible night.

Love and War by @kayteewritessteve Mythology AU

In a harsh medieval world, you set out on a perilous quest that will lead you onto a forbidden land. A land ruled and controlled by a ruthless Warlord King, one who does not look favourably upon trespassers of any kind, and punishes all with an iron fist. You may not know exactly where this quest will end, but what you do know is you will forever be altered by it. And that knowledge alone is what truly terrifies you the most.

The Wonder of You by @panicfob Girl in the chair!reader

You work for the Avengers but have never actually met any of them. Steve Rogers falls for the girl across the compound cafeteria to whom he’s never actually spoken. Stubbornness, longing, and identity confusion ensues.

Seven Days by @evanstarff Avengers!Reader

A drabble a day for Steve Rogers’ 101st birthday.

Beautifully unfinished by @kayteewritessteve Modern AU, best friends to lovers

One foolish outburst, one moment of weakness at the worst possible time, and everything goes up in smoke. Who knew finally voicing your true, deep-rooted feelings, would lead to the complete destruction of your most cherished friendship?

Drunk Twitter by @kayteewritessteve journalist!reader

One stupid drunken night leads to a very, very uncomfortable week from hell. That only gets worse when you are forced to face the problems, that your drunken escapades caused, head on. Yeah, you are vowing now to never ever drink again.

Does It Feel The Same When She Calls Your Name? by @panicfob accountant!reader

After a year of friendship, Steve kisses you. Will he give you ultimate happiness, or will he break your heart and walk away from the pieces?

Traveling with Steve Rogers/Captain America Would Include... by @brrahbrrahcharacterimagines

Steve Falling Asleep In Front Of The Avengers by @youhavenoideahowmuchihatethis

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spencers-renaissance · 4 years ago

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Start With This

Summary: Luke accidentally hurts Spencer because they are both hopelessly stupid, but when Spencer's faced with a dangerous situation there's nothing he wants more than Luke. Calling him turns out to be a very good decision.

Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Misunderstandings, Making Up, Getting Together

Pairing: Luke x Spencer

Word Count: 3.9k

Warnings: implied/mentioned sexual assault, more detailed cw on the end notes of the AO3 post <3

Read on AO3

Luke knows he’s getting obvious. His subtlety has completely thrown itself out the window, his dignity’s in the wind, and he’s so, so painfully aware of it all.

He was probably in love with Spencer before he even met the man: his reputation had preceded him -- as he’d told him that first day in the briefing room -- and the way his friends talked about him, the gentleness he seemed to possess along with the dynamite intelligence of a 187 IQ had his stomach fluttering as he walked in to meet him for the first time. And hadn’t that just sealed the deal.

Spencer’s face as he walked into the room feels like it’s been permanently burned into the back of his eyelids ever since. He’s not sure what he’d been expecting but it certainly wasn’t someone so adorable. He’d been so open and welcoming and they’d hit it off straight away, every look shared between them, every joint task on the case in Arizona had him buzzing with excitement. If he could spend every waking moment with Spencer, he would.

And he’s been so good at keeping it under wraps, but lately the looks the girls and Rossi have been sending his way are a bit too… knowing. Like they see right through him. It’s terrifying, really. He’s never had a bad coming out story, mostly because he didn’t until his late twenties when it was much less taboo to be gay and he was surrounded by people who cared far too much about him as a person to care about who he fucked. But he’s also never had a crush on a coworker before, not even a friend, so to be under so much scrutiny in a situation that feels so out of his depths is overwhelming to say the least.

The next case they take on, then, he takes extra caution to be subtle. He volunteers to pair up with others before Emily can assign him something with Spencer; he ignores the looks he directs his way and leaves him behind to room with JJ while he pairs up with Steven. Maybe it’s even more obvious, maybe the looks he’s getting now are far harder to deal with than the ones before but he’s made his bed. Now he’ll lie in it.

And he’ll pointedly refuse to acknowledge the hurt looks Spencer is shooting his way. It’s better to ruffle a few feathers now and get over his crush than ruin such a good friendship and drive a wedge through the team, even if his gut twists and his heart protests as Spencer furrows his brow and looks at his feet.

★

Spencer is fully aware that his chances with Luke are slim to none -- he’s not delusional -- but boy does it hurt being avoided like the plague. It takes him back to school, when he was either politely ignored, mocked from a distance or straight up bullied, when nobody could associate themselves with him without risking a beating of their own.

As soon as the case is over, he declines Emily’s invitation to go for a drink at her place with the rest of the team, instead opting to go out by himself. There’s a small, hole-in-the-wall joint a few blocks from his apartment that he’s been to a few times; it’s low-key and reasonably quiet, and the food is nice, too. It’ll do him good, he thinks, to get out of his head a bit with a few drinks and a book or three. He’s met the guy who owns the place a few times, and no-one pays enough attention to care that he’s reading a book at a bar instead of solemnly staring into a pint or gyrating on the dance floor, neither of which especially appeal to him.

As predicted, the bar is quiet, so he orders a drink and some nachos and heads to a table in the back. He used to hate bars; so full of people and germs he tended to avoid them at all costs. Now though, he finds the background noise soothing, the chatter and music a comforting backdrop to his own isolation. And on days like today, after difficult cases and tricky emotional minefields to navigate, it’s the perfect setting to sit quietly and read, far more preferable than the deafening silence of his apartment.

For some reason, though, he simply cannot get his mind off Luke. He was so hopelessly gone for him and it was making everyday tasks that much harder. Even psyching himself up to get out of bed and go to work was proving more and more difficult: knowing he would have to face the man he loved so much who clearly did not love him back was bordering on psychological torture at this point.

His one saving grace, though, was that he’d always been able to take refuge in the fact that they were friends. That even if he could never have Luke kiss him or take him on a date or sleep in his bed, he could have his friendship. He’d have the warm smiles and hugs and inside jokes and that would be enough. But now even that was seeming like a farflung pipe dream. Had he figured him out? Did he realise Spencer’s feelings for him and feel disgusted? Violated even?

It’s only after Spencer’s been reading the same page over and over for nearly 10 minutes that he gives up and orders another drink. If he can’t distract himself, he may as well drown his sorrows now he’s here.

And drown them he does. He finally stumbles onto the pavement outside the bar in the small hours of the morning feeling a little dazed and confused, and he squints his eyes as he tries to get his bearings. He lives round here, he knows that much, but where? He’s looking around for a taxi when a man he’d seen sitting not far from him in the bar approaches him.

“Hey, baby,” he grins, checking Spencer out as obviously as he’d been doing inside.

It takes Spencer’s mind only a few seconds to recognise that he’s in a potentially vulnerable or dangerous situation but he can’t for the life of him sort through his muddled brain fast enough to figure out the correct response, here. Instead he stares dumbly at the man in front of him, trying to not look as scared as he feels.

“You looking for a good time?” the man asks, reaching a hand forward to pet crudely at his face. Spencer wishes his flinch wasn’t so obviously borne from terror, but he’s sad and drunk and confused so all he can do is shake his head aggressively and back away. “Aww, come on. I’m a catch, I promise.”

Spencer jumps back further, his back hitting a brick wall as he finally finds his voice. “No, leave me alone, thank you,” he says, trying to sound firm but only sounding scared shitless. The man is huge, Spencer is not, and the street is quiet. Spencer does not like any of these variables, let alone a cocktail made from them.

The man laughs cruelly, but before he gets a chance to respond another beefy guy he recognises from inside the bar comes over, cigarette in his hand, and clocks the situation. “Oi,” he shouts aggressively, approaching the two of them. “Who the fuck do you think you are? Dude said no.”

“Oh yeah? And what are you gonna do about it?”

Before Spencer can blink, the beefy guy punches his assailant square in the eye, causing him to cuss them both out before telling Spencer he isn’t even worth the trouble and leaving to lick his wounds. “Hey, you okay?” the beefy dude asks, voice much softer when talking to Spencer. “You need me to call someone?”

At this moment, the only person Spencer wants is Luke. He’s shaken up and so sad, and even if Luke is sort of the reason for that, he has to try, right? Maybe… maybe he just was having a bad day and it isn’t Spencer at all. He could call JJ but even her cuddles wouldn’t scratch the itch that’s burning away at his skin, so he finally shakes his head at the guy looking at him with concern. “No, no it’s okay,” he says slowly, voice catching a little. “I know who to call.”

★

Luke also says no to Emily’s invitation, instead heading back to his own place and cracking open a bottle of wine before plonking himself in front of the team and appreciating the cuddles Roxy chooses to bestow on him. He throws in an oven pizza sometime around 11pm and eats it, laughing humourlessly at the scene for a moment. God, if his colleagues could see just how pathetic he is Emily would have to boot him off the team.

The wine and the warm temperature of the room have him dozing off on the sofa by midnight but he’s woken up abruptly by his phone ringing not long after. The clock on the wall says 1.50am so this is either a case or an emergency; blearily he picks it up to see Spencer’s name on the screen and he can’t slide his finger to answer it fast enough.

“Spencer?” he asks, voice full of concern.

The only reply is a choked off sob, making Luke sit up on high alert. “Spence, what’s wrong?” his voice is gentle but determined, he wants to know what’s wrong so he can fix it damnit.

“Can you-- Can you come and get me?” Spencer asks tearfully. He sounds hesitant like he thinks Luke might say no or be angry with him which doesn’t make any sense. He’d never feel like that, not for anything Spencer needs from him.

“Of course,” he reassures him, gently, still a little bewildered by the absurdity of it all. He springs into action and leaps off the sofa, slipping into some trainers and grabbing his keys. “Where are you, Spence? I’m on my way to the car.”

Spencer rattles off an address before he says, “Wait, don’t go, can you stay on the phone with me?”

Luke’s heart damn near melts at that but he obeys and stays on the phone with him, mumbling platitudes and promising he’s on his way the whole five minute drive until he pulls up in front of the address Spencer gave him, immediately spotting the younger man hunched down against a wall. He parks the car quickly and rushes over, crouching down in front of Spencer and gently pulling his head away from his knees so he can look into his eyes. He immediately recognises he’s drunk and sighs internally, hoping this won’t be too impossible.

“Hey, Spence, what’s going on?” he asks earnestly, holding onto the man’s forearms partially to help steady himself and partially to offer a noninvasive point of contact for Spencer.

“Sad,” Spencer says, looking into Luke’s eyes with wide, honest eyes. “You’re angry at me.”

“What?” Luke asks incredulously. “I’m not angry at you, Spencer.”

“Yes,” Spencer nods enthusiastically. “You wanted to work with other people on the case today. You were ignoring me.”

He’s not quite slurring his words but it’s close, and if Luke wasn’t so concerned about the situation at hand he’d find it adorable. “Oh, Spencer, no,” he protests, a sinking feeling in his chest. His own insecurities and fears had got the better of him and he’d managed to make Spencer feel bad about himself. “That was unrelated and not your fault at all, okay? It’s complicated and definitely not a conversation to have on the ground outside a bar at 2am, but we can talk about it somewhere else if you’d like. Do you want me to take you back to your place?”

Spencer looks back at him. “No, don’t want to be alone, please don’t leave me on my own, Luke,” he says, eyes wide in fear this time, not honesty.

“Okay, okay,” he placates him. “Would you like to come back to mine?”

Spencer launches forward to hug Luke, burying his face into his neck and Luke takes the opportunity to relish the feeling of Spencer’s lithe body against his own, the intimacy he craves so deeply finally being awarded in a small way. “Should I take that as a yes?” he chuckles.

As soon as they get into Luke’s apartment, he gets to sobering Spencer up. He’d managed to pry the number of drinks he’d had out of him in the car, and as soon as they get back he butters him some toast and gives him a glass of water to drink on the sofa while he fills up another glass and grabs some advil.

“How’s that, Spence, are you okay?” he asks softly as he joins him on the sofa where Spencer is dutifully munching down the toast while late-night TV plays in the background.

“Yeah,” he whispers, smiling up at Luke, already looking more lucid than he did on the street, though he suspects part of the reason was he was scared and a bit disoriented then and now feels safe. “Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Spencer,” he smiles back, patting his knee affectionately as he pours him another glass of water. “Have your toast and another glass of water and then you can have a shower, if you like. It’ll help ground you and warm you up a bit.”

Spencer’s compliant through it all, which is obviously desirable, but he’s also quiet. He takes the hoodie Luke chucks his way without comment and slips it on -- Luke very pointedly does not think about how good he looks -- before looking to him for his next direction.

His eyes are much clearer now and he seems far more sad than drunk, so Luke steers him back to the sofa and hands him a blanket. “Hey, Spencer,” he says, waiting for him to look up before continuing. “What’s going on? Why did you need me to pick you up?”

Spencer fidgets with the blanket as he answers. “Well, I went to the bar to stop thinking, like distract myself, but it didn’t really work so I just decided to have some wine instead, which was really nice and I liked the fuzziness, but then when I left there was this man. He came up to me and was trying to… like he was trying to ask me to sleep with him,” he risks a quick look up to check if Luke is listening to him but averts his eyes from the intense stare when he realises he is. “But I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to do and I panicked but then this man came out of the bar and he punched the other guy and helped me but then I called you so he didn’t have to do anything else.” His voice is nervous as he talks, clearly unsure of himself from the way he darts around from point to point, his typical eloquence evading him.

“I’m sorry, Spencer,” Luke says, earnestly. “I’m sorry that happened to you but I’m even more sorry that you were sad enough to drown your sorrowsbecause of me. Tomorrow, I promise we can talk about this and I’ll explain everything, but right now I think you should sleep. You can take my bed or the sofa tonight, whichever one makes you feel more comfortable, and then I’ll make you whatever you want for breakfast in the morning and we can chat. How does that sound?”

Spencer looks satisfied for now, cocking his head to the side. “Hm, can I have pancakes?” he asks.

Luke laughs fondly at that, leaning forward to ruffle Spencer’s hair lightly as he tries not to read into it when Spencer leans into his touch. “Are you kidding?” he teases. “You’re looking at the pancake maker extraordinaire right here.” He relishes Spencer’s giggle at that, pleased at how relaxed he looks now he knows Luke isn’t angry at him. “Pancakes in the morning. For now, where would you like to sleep?”

“The sofa’s fine,” Spencer says softly, a small smile playing over his face as he follows Luke with his eyes as he stands up to collect some blankets and pillows. “Thank you, Luke.”

“You don’t have to thank me,” he smiles back, and hands him the extra blankets and cushions. “We’ll talk in the morning.”

★

Spencer wakes up to the sound of dog paws on wooden floors and is momentarily confused -- he does not have a dog nor wooden floors -- before the events of last night flood into his head with a crashing wave of humiliation. He sits up abruptly, blinking his eyes against the soft grey light of the gloomy day, and looks around until he meets Luke’s eyes where he’s sat drinking a cup of coffee at the dining table.

He knows he’s flushing an embarrassing shade of red but he can’t help it, this whole situation is so bizarre. “Good morning,” he finally says.

“Morning Spencer,” Luke says, hiding his far-too-wide smile behind his coffee mug. “Did you sleep okay?”

He just nods and hums in response, before excusing himself and rushing to the bathroom for a small semblance of privacy. Looking in the mirror, he splashes his face with some cold water and fiddles with his hair until it’s sat the way he wants it to before taking some deep breaths in a vain attempt at composure. He’s sort of in love with Luke, being in his apartment like this is mildly intoxicating.

Eventually, he surfaces back in the main living area where Luke’s already started on the pancakes. “Hey, you good?” he calls over his shoulder as he flips the pan, a delish smell intoxicating the kitchen.

“I’m good,” Spencer confirms, joining him in the kitchen for a front row seat of Luke cooking. Chatting menially together as the pancake stash slowly builds, Spencer gathers all the toppings at Luke’s direction before they move to sit at the table and start tucking in, both trying to ignore the rising tension at what they both know is coming.

“You’re being so nice to me now but all throughout the case you barely looked at me, I mean you couldn’t even share a room with me in the hotel,” Spencer says after a few moments of silent apprehension as they have their first bites. “Is it… is it because I’m gay?” His voice drops to a whisper, face contorting from confusion to apprehension, feeling a little nervous that Luke might get angry now he’s reminded him of it.

“What, no, Spencer, of course not,” Luke says defensively. “God, I’m not a homophobe. The exact opposite, actually. I’m gay, too.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Luke puts his knife and fork down and runs a hand over his face as he psychs himself up. “That’s the problem. The truth is, I’m into you, Spencer, very much so. And I’m fully aware that you’re my best friend and you won’t feel the same way, so… that’s a problem. The others were starting to realise so I distanced myself, but it has nothing to do with you, it’s all me so please don’t blame yourself, alright?”

“Oh.” Spencer’s brain is short-circuiting.

“I’m sorry, I just needed to explain why I acted like that.” Luke apologises, sitting forward again. “I know this is probably making you uncomfortable, I can drop you back or call you a cab or something--”

“No,” Spencer says suddenly, snapping back into action as the information finally processes. Leaving right now is the last thing he wants. “No, I’m fine. Sorry, I’m just caught off guard. You… like me?”

“Well, yeah,” Luke smiles, a little awkwardly. “If you want to put it like that.”

“Oh.” He pauses for a moment as everything finally clicks into place. “We are both very stupid.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because the primary reason I was sad and drinking at a bar alone last night was because I am very much in love with you and feared you were pushing me away. That I’d lost my chance forever,” Spencer explains. “I don’t have much experience with relationships, so I didn’t know how to deal with it and when you started acting distant I did the same and… ran away, I guess.”

Luke’s glad that Spencer’s eyes are clear this morning and his eloquence is back or he’d fear he’s still somehow drunk out of his mind still and has no idea what he’s saying. “Oh.” It’s his turn to blank on a response.

“To be honest, Luke, I don’t know where to go from here,” Spencer laughs, a little awkwardly.

“Let’s start with this,” Luke says, getting up from his seat across the table and sliding into the chair next to Spencer, bridging the gap between the two before he kisses him gently. Spencer’s hand reaches forward to grip the front of his shirt, kissing back with just as much trusting desire as he feels Luke smile against his lips. They part at the kiss’ natural conclusion, pulling back to look at each other, tense awkwardness replaced with a new understanding of one another.

“Yeah,” Spencer smiles. “That feels like a good start.”

It’s a good start, but it’s by no means the end. The heaviness that had weighed between them for so long finally lifts and the lightness that replaces it means they both breathe easier, finishing their pancakes in between shy, cautious looks and shameless giggles. “Do you have anything you need to do today?” Luke asks as he washes their plates up, Spencer perched on the kitchen counter next to him.

“Nope,” Spencer says, smiling at the implication of such an answer.

“Well, what do you feel like doing?” he asks, wearing far too cheeky of a grin for Spencer to avoid leaning down and planting a kiss on his lips.

“Hm,” Spencer ponders, looking out the window at the rainy day. “I think movies and snacks would be perfect if I have you as company.”

“You smooth little thing,” Luke teases, poking Spencer’s side with a wet finger and delighting in the giggle that escaped his lips. “That sounds perfect to me.” He washes the frying pan last and quickly wipes down the kitchen before they head to the sofa, arms piled high with all the crisps, chocolate and cookies they can find in his cupboards. Spencer also digs about in the freezer and finds a pint of ice cream to share, which they feed each other bites of later in a sickeningly sweet, cliched moment of tenderness.

Luke chooses the first movie, picking out a Marvel film that Spencer ends up actually enjoying, though Luke can’t exactly say the same about Spencer’s choice, an obscure period piece from the 1960s. Still, he cuddles him close and pays attention to every minute. If it matters to Spencer, it matters to him.

And if wasting the day away with movies, snacks, and heart to hearts turns out to be exhausting enough that Spencer just has to stay the night again, this time sharing Luke’s bed with him and Roxy, then they’ll just have to make the absolute most out of such a terribly inconvenient situation. And they’ll deal with how to hide a 2 night love-fest from a team of profilers in the morning, because they’re far too oblivious to realise they already know.

Tags: @johanna-swann @pretty-b0yy

#criminal minds #criminal minds writing #criminal minds fic #ralvez #spencer reid #luke alvez #criminal minds angst #my writing

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themonkeycabal · 4 years ago

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WandaVision Episode 9 Spoilers

I can't believe we're already at the finale.

This has been better than I expected, though I didn't have any particular expectations one way or the other. I had hoped it would be bonkers, and it's had its moments, but I didn't expect it to be breaking my heart. I'm glad Wanda (and Elizabeth Olsen) got this moment to shine. It was very well done, and it's been nice to have fun with a Marvel property again. It's been a little while.

My wishlist for this episode is simply that somebody, anybody punch Acting Director Dick square in the face. And also that Jimmy Woo arrests him. A lot.

Other than that, I don't know what to expect, or how they wrap this up in 30 minutes.

Previously on: Wanda finally earned the name Scarlet Witch after Agatha made her relive the worst moments of her life. Harsh, Agatha. Vision uttered a line that launched a thousand gif sets. And Hayward revealed his genius masterplan which is a reactivated Vision, devoid of color and powered by the energy bleeding from Wanda's hex. I'm sure that will go swimmingly for him.

Let's see how this all ends.

Agatha still has magical tethers around Billy and Tommy's necks, which obviously Wanda doesn't like. Agatha gives the boys a tug, knocking them back, and Wanda lets loose, walloping Agatha. The boys are now free, but Wanda tells them to go to their room. They object, she insists, Tommy grabs Billy and they zoom off. Wanda hits Agatha again with a hex, but Agatha sort of collects it into a little glowy ball in her hand. Oops.

"I take power from the undeserving. It's kinda my thing."

Wanda notices her hand turning gray and gnarly — the look of somebody about to be magically mummified. Agatha hits her with a hex and taunts her some more.

"You're clearly in over your little, red head, so why don't you surrender your magic to someone who knows what to do with it?" Agatha, you're pushing your luck. "I'll let you keep this pathetic corner of the world all to yourself. What do you say?"

Wanda says she will throw a car right at your face, Agatha. I laughed. Didn't see that coming, did you? Knocked Agatha right out of her boots.

As Wanda is investigating, Director Dick's white Vision floats down behind her. He's creepy looking.

Wanda walks over to him, staring at him. "Is it really you?"

He puts his hands on her face, all gentle like, but it's a lie. He starts to squeeze. "And I was told you were powerful."

Gross, AD Dick. I hope you get stepped on by Ant-Man when he's being Giant-Man.

Sitcom World Vision (hereafter just plain old Vision) makes a timely reappearance, and takes out Not!Vision. He wants to know where the boys are, Wanda assures him they're safe, and she apologizes for everything and that she should have told him what was happening, "the moment I realized what I'd done". Poor Wanda. He tells her it's alright. She says she can fix it. Not!Vision climbs out of the burning remains of a camper.

Agatha reappears to note the awkwardness of the situation. She asks Wanda who she's going to choose, the ex or the boyfriend. What happens when Wanda hits you with more power than you can contain, Agatha?

Wanda tells Vision "this is our home." He agrees, "then let's fight for it." I hope for the best for you two crazy kids! Marvel has a dicey record on happy endings, though. Sorry!

Vision takes off towards Not!Vision again. Agatha flies off, too, and Wanda follows.

Across the street Monica is pounding on a window, calling for Wanda. Fietro, lounging with a guitar in his … stoner den?, tells her nobody can hear her. Can we talk about how Monica's SWORD uniform looks like ST:Next Gen unis? I can't stop seeing it and it's distracting. Anyway, she tries to escape, but, Fietro is still all fast and stuff, so she's thwarted.

In the sky, Vision and Not!Vision battle. Not!Vision says Wanda must be neutralized and Vision must be destroyed. Hmm. Not!Vision tries to rip out the stone in Vision's forehead but Vision goes intangible. More fighting with intangibleness. It's pretty cool.

Outside Westview, AD Dick is feeling cocky as he watches both Visions on tracking monitors. I loathe him so much. Jimmy Woo is brought in handcuffed by a pair of SWORD goons. I'm sorry, who the f is SWORD? Like, they have arrest powers now? Dick says "hey, it's my favorite member of the Bureau." New wishlist: everybody gets to take turns punching AD Dick in the face.

Dick asks his minion to reconfirm mission objectives while Jimmy listens carefully, mentally noting each and every violation of federal law and the Sokovia Accords.

The minion says she can't get through to not!Vision, his system is overloaded. A cellphone rings on a desk nearby and Jimmy eyes it, then tells Hayward that he'll never be able to cover up these shenanigans.

While Dick is busy boasting and the SWORD goons are doing everything but paying attention to their prisoner (in my head all the SWORD goons applied to SHIELD but Maria Hill laughed at each and every one of their applications and then called Pepper to laugh some more and then texted choice bits to May tagging them "RE: LOL"), Jimmy eases over and grabs the phone.

"Wanda canceled her show,” Dick says with the sort of confidence only an enormous prick can muster, “so there's no footage proving there was ever more than one Vision."

Jimmy points out that that is dumb, because there is other footage, from SWORD HQ and stuff, and probably evidence of tampering. He casually sits on a table, shaking his head, like he's just so disappointed (i'm hoping he's somehow managed to use the phone to record the monolog-ing) .

Dick is still too far up his own ass to notice Jimmy being sneaky. "No one's going to care once I've eliminated Wanda Maximoff. They'll believe that the Vision that emerges from the Westview rubble is the one she illegally tried to bring back to life."

Wait, bringing him back to life is illegal? You're full of shit, Dick. And also, an extremely terrible person, who will destroy a whole town for … something? A Vision weapon? Who are you fighting, Dick? BTW, I award him no sympathy points for surviving in the post-Snap world. So if he's been scarred by that or whatever, I don't care. Trauma doesn't excuse murdery megalomania. As has been said before: Cool motive, still murder. I hope Vision intangibles him into a lamp post that gets peed on every day by a parade of small dogs.

"They'll thank me for recovering such a valuable asset. You could be part of that victory, Jimmy. If only you had a little more … vision" says the smug prick who is asking for it. And by it I mean something both terrible and humiliating to happen to him asap.

Jimmy fake laughs back. "That's a good one, Hayward. Okay, I'm convinced. The trouble is my friends at Quantico will probably have something to say about your plan. When they arrive. Inside the hour." heh.

Oh, poor Dick doesn't like being mocked back. He tells his brain-dead goons to remove Jimmy. The goons throw Jimmy into a … stack of hay? In a fenced in cage thing? As you have on your pop-up military facility. Where he sets to work removing his handcuffs with a clip he also stole, because Jimmy Woo is cool like that. Close Up Magic! See the things you can learn from criminals. "Flourish" lol.

He calls his friends at Quantico. "I was hoping you could get here … inside the hour?"

Back in Westview. Wanda is looking for Agatha while the town goes about its business. Weirdo delivery guy drives by "Don't shoot. I'm just the messenger. ha ha."

Then she gets hit in the back by a purple hex. Ouch. She has hit the pavement hard kind of a lot in this episode already. That hurts, my dudes, I know this from personal falling down experience. Wanda's hand, by the way, is still looking ashy and not very healthy.

Agatha taunts her from a rooftop. "Did you know there's an entire chapter devoted to you in the Darkhold." How could she know that, Agatha? Also, boo the Darkhold. That bit of nastiness led to the Framework, and I'm still a little scarred by that myself. "That's the book of the damned," says the witch standing in front of a billboard for "Squeaky Shine" lol.

Agatha produces the Darkhold and recites from it, "The Scarlet Witch is not born, she is forged. She has no coven, nor need for incantation." Wanda insists she isn't a witch, nobody taught her magic.

Agatha continues, "Your power exceeds that of the Sorcerer Supreme" Steven Strange will like that. Not much. He's so twitchy about things like that. "It's your destiny to destroy the world." Always with the destinies. FREE WILL FOREVAH!

Wanda insists she's not the Scarlet Witch thingy. Agatha says "oh really?" and uses her mojo on Emma Caulfield. Hi Emma Caulfield! She seems to be 'awake' and introduces herself to Wanda (who knew her as Dottie) "My name is Sarah. I have a daughter, she's 8, maybe she could be friends with your boys. If you like that storyline. Or the school bully, even. Really anything, if you could just let her out of her room. If I could just hold her." Wow, ouch.

Speaking of free will or the lack of, Wanda accuses Agatha of doing this, but Agatha says "She's your meat puppet. I just cut her strings." Poor Wanda. And now Agatha wakes up the whole town, who all head towards Wanda.

And we cut to Fietro's den of manchildness. Monica asks what that place is, but come on Monica, it's clearly a den of manchildness. Fietro is making himself a smoothie and explaining the purpose of a mancave — chillaxing.

Monica ignores him and rifles through his bills and whatnot. She finds a headshot of Fietro with the name "Ralph Bohner" underneath. Because, people just keep their headshots lying around willynilly. Wait, are we saying Ralph is an actor? Lol.

Fietro meanwhile is planning for a Steven Segal marathon — my dad and I watched all of those movies and for the life of me I could not tell you why. We didn't *like* them. I mean, mostly we laughed, but still. Why?

Anyway, Monica is trying to solve the mystery of Fietro. It's not Agatha's house (obviously) it's Fietro's (Ralph). He's an ass and asks if she wants to fight some more, so she flips him over her shoulder and pins him down, trying to figure out how Agatha is controlling him. With her new glowy eyes, she notices the bead necklace he's wearing sparkles in a magically way. She rips it off and Fietro becomes Ralph.

Elsewhere the Visions are still battling in the sky and the boys are watching from their bedroom. They lose sight of dad, but Billy gets a vision of mom in trouble in the town square. He and Tommy run off.

The townsfolk are confused and scared. Wanda tells them they're all going to be fine. "When you let us sleep, we have your nightmares." Ouch. Wanda insists she kept them safe. Wanda, sweetie, you're very far in over your head.

"You feel, you feel at peace," she tells them, kind of hoping that works. It doesn’t. "We feel your pain." "Your grief is poisoning us." "Please let us go." This is an awful thing to do to Wanda, Marvel!

It escalates with all those voices begging her to free them and she screams, grabbing her head, and when she does that, red light appears around the throats of the townies, silencing them, choking them. Wanda realizes and puts her glowy hands up "stop, stop, I'm sorry", releasing them all.

"If you won't let us go, let us die." Wanda promises to let them go. Agatha wonders what's stopping her from actually doing it.

"Heroes don't torture people." Agatha's a very sink-or-swim kind of teacher.

That does the trick and Wanda throws her arms back and yells to the sky, releasing her power up at the hex surrounding the town. "Go, all of you. Now, go." The people run and the town flickers through the eras and the barrier starts to fall.

Outside, Director Dick tells his morons "this is it, we're going in!"

The Visions keep on battling, but as the barrier falls, Vision starts to falter himself. I was afraid of that.

The Morons roll in with their big trucks and big guns because … reasons. I have a very low opinion of SWORD. Maria Rambeau's agency deserves better than this shitshow.

Vision falls and it looks like bits of him are chipping off. He hits the ground hard, he gets up, but he's glitching, too, falling apart as Wanda takes down her spell. He reaches for her. The boys appear now, too, screaming for mom, but they seem to be flickering as well, flying apart in pixelly pieces. Poor Wanda.

Agatha says "Now do you see? You tied your family to this twisted world and now one can't exist without the other." This is terrible. "Save Westview or save your family." TERRIBLE.

Wanda pulls the hex into herself again, recreating the barrier. The kids and Vision recover and run to her. Outside, as the hex closes, Jimmy Woo is, yet again, left to stare at the barrier, cut off from the fun inside. Poor guy, lol. But, his FBI buddies are arriving, so at least he won't get lonely.

Agatha throws a hex at Wanda and Wanda throws up a shield to protect her family. Which Agatha starts to draw towards herself like the magic vampire she is. Greedy Agatha. Wanda's arms are all gray. And SWORD rolls into town square, because that's what this confrontation needed — these dipshits.

Anyway, the Family stands ready to face Director Dick and his morons, in a quality recreation of the Incredibles family pose. "Listen boys, your mother and I never really prepared you for this," dad says. Because your boys are like three days old, Vision, it's okay. "But you were born for it," Wanda assures them very fiercely. Get 'em, sister!

As they square off, Vision's like "oh crap, it's the other me, back in a mo'" and flies off to tackle Not!Vision who's trying to sneak up behind them.

They destroy the town library and Vision wants to know why Not!Vision gotta be like that. "My programming directive is to destroy the Vision."

Ha ha, says Vision, a loophole. "But, I'm not the true Vision, only a conditional Vision."

Hmmm, says Not!Vision, and they stop fighting, "I request elaboration". Hey, Vision, move into Not!Vision's body and you can be true Vision again! Problem solved, my work here is done.

Back to the street where we find Dick and his Morons and Agatha who is not making this situation at all better. The morons point their guns at Agatha who magics them up off the ground like thirty feet in the air, "Same story, different century. There will always be torches and pitchforks for ladies like us, Wanda." I'm not going to say you're wrong, Agatha, and God knows these SWORD morons are morons, but you're also a pain in the ass. So …

Anyway, then Agatha drops them and Wanda reaches out to catch them. But once caught, she does let them drop the last five or six feet. They'll be fine, but also they deserved it, so I laughed.

"Boys, handle the military. Mommy will be right back." They're my new favorite family.

Wanda flies up to tangle with Agatha and Agatha is super ready except … Wanda throws a curveball and disappears. Suck it Agatha.

Down on the ground the SWORD morons continue to cover themselves in glory and point their guns at CHILDREN. I don't care if they're powered children, you know what I'd like, I'd like if one of the morons would just be like "um, but … they're kids and how about no? I'm going to get Jimmy Woo! He'll know what to do. Don't try and stop me!" That doesn't happen.

Billy freezes the soldiers in place and Tommy super speeds by and steals their guns and hats. AD Dick, being the absolutely loathsome, vile, lower-than-a-maggot, piece of shit that he is, gets out of his humvee and shoots at the CHILDREN.

Monica, who has just arrived to the party, runs and throws herself between Dick and the boys, taking the bullets meant for them. Her new powers render her sort of … I don't even know. Not quite intangible, but she kind of looks like a ballistics gel dummy and the bullets go through her but they slow down a lot as they pass and then just sort of fall on the ground. Dick, crossing the line into pure evil, fires again, the bullet misses Monica and heads towards Billy, who just raises his hand and stops it with his power then he grins at Monica.

"Nice tricks," she tells him.

"I like yours, too," he says.

Dick tries to fire AGAIN! But he's out of bullets. He only had four? Or maybe his gun jammed. Anyway, like the brave man he is, he runs to the humvee, gets in, reverses at speed, stops and looks like he's going to put it in gear and drive at them because the dude is unhinged. But! Lo! It's Darcy and the funnel cake truck, that is apparently built like a tank, though come to think of it, it probably was an armored vehicle in the real world.

Anyway, she t-bones Dick's vehicle, thwarting his evility for the moment. "Have fun in prison." Lol

Back to the Visions. They're having a philosophical debate. "You are familiar with the thought experiment "The Ship of Theseus" in the field of identity metaphysics," Vision prompts Not!Vision.

"Naturally." And Not!Vision helpfully spells it out for us. "The ship of Theseus is in a museum. Over time its planks of wood rot and are replaced with new planks. When no original planks remain, is it still the ship of Theseus?"

Vision presses his advantage, "Secondly. If those removed planks are restored and reassembled, free of the rot, is that the ship of Theseus?"

To sum up, neither is the true Vision, both are the true Vision.

"But I do not have the mind stone," says not!Vision.

"And I do not have one single ounce of original material," replies Vision. "Perhaps the rot is the memories. The wear and tear are the voyages. The wood touched by Theseus himself."

Not!Vision says he doesn't have the memories, though, but Vision insists he does, the data is still there, hidden. Not!Vision says nah, Vision must be the true Vision because he believes himself to be. But, Vision says that's not true anymore, he plays the reverse card, "upon meeting you, I have been disabused of that notion." This is the most philosophy nerd game of 'not it' ever.

Vision continues to try to get at Not!Vision's memories. "As a carbon-based synthazoid, your memory storage is not so easily wiped. May I?" Not!Vision allows Vision to touch the glowy bit where the memory stone used to be, and Not!Vision is flooded with Vision's memories. Not!Vision's eyes go … normal, I guess you'd say, no longer robot-like and glowy.

"I am Vision" he says and flies off. It was a lot to take in, I guess. He needs a little me-time.

I guess we're going to have to go back to calling Vision Sitcom!Vision, anyway, he goes outside and the boys run over to him and there's hugging and stuff.

Agatha stalks them from the rooftop, but it seems she might have forgotten Wanda for a second, because Wanda appears behind her and does that thing she does where she makes you see your worst fear. Enjoy that, Agatha!

Agatha sees herself bound to the stake in the woods again. Her coven dead. Wanda is there in the vision, too. "You see the difference between you and me, is that you did this on purpose."

The coven rise from the dead and shuffle to her while Agatha begs for it to stop. But, then Agatha gets control of herself, I guess, and the undead mummy witches start saying Wanda's name and pointing at her. You're just no fun at all, Agatha.

Now the coven ties Wanda to the stake. "You can't win, Wanda. Power isn't your problem; it's knowledge." That is, actually, very true. Wanda's Scarlet Witch headpiece appears on her all magical-like, marking her as the Scarlet Witch of myth, I suppose.

"Give me your power, and I will correct the flaws in your original spell. And you and your family and the people of Westview can all live together in peace."

If Agatha is so smart, why doesn't she just take Wanda's power, hmm?

"And no one will ever have to feel this pain again. Not even you," Agatha tries cajoling, but that was the wrong tack to take. Wanda gives her the head tilt of imminent ass-kicking, and her powers explode outward, flinging way the weird creepy coven of zombie mummies. Then Wanda knocks them both back into Westview.

She starts hammering Agatha with her powers. "Take it, I don't want it." Vision tries to fly up to help her, but she blocks him with a spell.

Witch fight in the clouds. Every time Wanda misses Agatha, her hexes hit the shield. Outside Jimmy Woo looks on, concerned.

"There's more," Agatha says, "I want it all." Wanda's looking a little mummified, but she's still flinging hexes left and right while Agatha cackles evilly. Eventually Wanda runs out of steam and just sort of hovers there.

"About our deal. Once case, a spell can never be changed." You're terrible, Agatha. Very cruel. "This world will always be broken. Just. Like. You." Low, Agatha. Lower than dirt

Agatha gathers herself and tries to hit out at Wanda with all that yummy power but it just fizzles. Nothing happens. Oh noes, Agatha, what's wrong?

Wanda starts looking like her normal self again and behind her glows a giant rune. Oh, dear, Agatha, you taught Wanda something. When she was missing Agatha and hitting the shield all those times, she was actually casting runes. LOL to you.

The sky is angry and red and stormy. Monica, Vision, and the boys look on.

"In a given space," Wanda says, "only the witch who cast them [runes] can use her magic. Thanks for the lesson, but, I don't need you to tell me who I am."

The Scarlet Witch headpiece reappears and now Agatha has her a fright. I like you Agatha, you're rotten in fun way, but you took it too far, sister. Wanda takes her power back with prejudice and she is transformed into the Scarlet Witch. Updated version of the classic costume. Nice, I like it.

"Oh god," Agatha gasps, "You don't know what you've done." Wanda drops her on the ground more gently than she deserved.

Agatha asks if Wanda's going to lock her up somewhere. And Wanda says, yeah, here in lovely Westview. "I'll give you the role you chose; the nosy neighbor."

"You have no idea what you've unleashed. You're gonna need me." "If I do, I know where to find you." lol

And Wanda turns Agatha back into Agnes. "Hiya, hon. Say, that some kind of getup you're wearing. Did I leave the oven on, or is that just you, hot stuff."

Wanda says goodbye and walks over to her family, kissing her boys.

Vision says their dream home has turned into a fixer-upper. "I know you'll set everything right. Just not for us."

"No," Wanda agrees because Marvel likes to hurt us all. "Not for us."

Monica kind of bounces on her toes, trying to get Wanda's attention, but probably also not entirely wanting Wanda's attention. Wanda gives her a hesitant nod as she and Vision leave with the boys.

The field around town starts to shrink, the circus turns back into the SWORD base.

They get home and tuck the boys into bed.

"Big day today," Vision says. "Your mother and I … are very proud of you both."

"Very proud," Wanda agrees. "You know, a family is forever. We could never truly leave each other, even if we tried. You know that right?"

They kiss their boys goodnight. Outside the window, the field flickers and fails. "Boys, thanks for choosing me to be your mom."

The town of Westview returns to its sad old self, street by street. Wanda turns out the lights in their home.

But, Vision turns one back on. "Oh, I read somewhere, that it's bad luck to say goodbye in the dark." "No, you didn't." You guys are killing me.

Why did this have to be so good and sad?

And finally the collapsing field reaches their street, they watch it coming.

"Wanda, I know we can't stay like this, but before I go, I feel I must know, what am I?"

She touches his face. "You, Vision, are the piece of the mind stone that lives in me. You are a body of wires and blood and bone that I created. You are my sadness and my hope, but mostly you're my love." Stupid show, my screen went blurry there for a second.

Vision cries a bit, they both are a little astonished by the tear.

"I have been a voice with no body, a body but not human. And now, a memory, made real. Who knows what I might be next." Aww, Vision, I love you.

Here comes the field.

"We have said goodbye before, so it stands to reason—" "We'll say hello again." STUPID SHOW why do you have to make me feel things?

The field collapses and everything is stripped back into nothing. "So long, darling." And Wanda stands in the empty lot, in the foundations of the home that never was.

She walks away again. Poor Wanda. And back into town. The people look at her, they don't seem happy. I don't know why she chose to do that, she does have a car. Ah, she's going to talk to Monica.

"They'll never know what you sacrificed for them," Monica says. "It wouldn't change how they see me," Wanda tells her. "And you? You don't … you don't hate me?" "Given the chance, and given your power, I'd bring my mom back. You know I would." "I'm sorry, for all the pain I caused."

Wanda promises to figure out her power and then files off. The End.

Heartbreaking. Good, but heartbreaking.

Mid-credits scene. Jimmy Woo is large and in charge. He's setting up the incident response in town, ordering folks around (in his good natured way).

Jimmy spots his friend. "Monica!" "Authority looks good on you, Jimmy." "Where's Darcy?" "Something about ‘debriefs are for the weak’?" lol "But we can thank her for that."

And down the street AD Dick is being arrested. Nobody punched him in the face. I'm sad. Darcy came closest, I guess. What with hitting him with the very large truck. It will have to do.

Monica is summoned to the theater by another agent. Hmm nobody there. The agent follows. "I was sent by an old friend of your mother's." And the agent is a Skrull. "He heard you'd been grounded. He'd like to meet with you."

"Where?"

The Skrull points up.

What was Fury's Skrull buddy's name? I don't recall. I didn't actually like the Captain Marvel movie. I felt like they told it backwards, and also they should have just cast a younger actor to play young Nick Fury. That bugged me. And I wanted more of Annette Benning’s character. Anyway … I guess we know where we’ll see Monica again.

Well, that was fun. Like I said, I'm not sure what I expected from this series, just that it be some degree of fun, I guess. But it was much better than whatever I had half-envisaged. AND SADDER, MARVEL.

Thank goodness for the multi-verse. I'm sure we'll see some version of the boys again. And also Not!Vision, who is probably also Vision at this point, knocking around the world, trying to find himself. Talk about identity crisis. I feel you, brother. Stay safe, get plenty of whatever passes for rest for you!

See you guys in a couple of weeks for Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I WANT NO TEARS FROM THAT ONE! Unless it's tears of laughter.

ETA: FOR THE SECOND POST CREDITS SCENE THAT I MISSED. Stupid Marvel hiding things from me. Thank you, @beelzebufo

Mountains, a mountain lake, a place I’d like to be right now. Wanda sits on the porch of her lonely little cabin. The tea kettle whistles and she goes inside. There’s a rattling and whispering from the other room, where the astral projection(?) of the Scarlet Witch reads the Darkhold and her children call for her. I don’t know, Wanda, seems dicey, that’s not a very nice book.

FOR REAL THE END THIS TIME

#wandavision #wandavision spoilers #wandavision liveblog #long post

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whyqueerbaitingisbad · 4 years ago

Text

movies & shows

cracks knuckles* alright this is going to be more of a rant than an analysis because i’m basing this on both my research, but also how it felt to personally be baited by these shows. there are obviously more pieces of bad (almost every horror movie) and good ones but these are the ones i’ve watched.

please keep in mind that i am but one queer and everyone has different opinions.

Supernatural (CW) 2005

This show is 15 years old and just ended. From season 5 till 15, there has been tension between two of the lead characters. They were constantly shipped together and not only did the entire fandom know about this ship but so did almost all of Tumblr. On top of that, the actors and show runners knew about it as well. Which is why it makes it ridiculous that it was constantly pushed aside while the romantic coding kept happening, even after show runners dismissed it as being intentional. The Destiel (Dean x Cas) case has been going on for years, and as the show came to its end, many fans had hope. But N O P E. Instead, we got a love confession from Cas where Dean looked like he was near constipated and the Cas was killed and sent into a fiery place that was not hell but s u p e r h e l l.

… w hy.

Sherlock (BBC) 2010

Just like Supernatural, this show was renown on Tumblr for not only how good it was, but its hinting at a potential relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. But again, like Supernatural, the intentional tension between the two characters was denied by producers. This caused an uproar within the fandom, and even left some people believing that, after the last season aired, it had been a joke and the producers were hiding a “secret, unaired season” because they had felt so robbed by this show that had implied something and denied it.

The 100 (CW) 2014

We got lesbians. We got background gays. We were happy. Then, all of a sudden, one of them is killed for no reason. Did it advance the plot? No. Was she fighting and died in battle? lol no. She was doing literally nothing and got shot and died. And then the producers kept bringing her back once a season in the form of a ghost or illusion because why? Because she was a fan favourite queer character. ✨bury your gays and sparingly bring them back for profit anyone?✨

Voltron: Legendary Defender (Netflix) 2016

*deep breathe* This one is a special disaster. Not only was there romantic tension and romantically coded scenes for 7 seasons, but producers, voice actors and artists working on the show repeatedly said “don’t worry klance (Keith x Lance) shippers, you’ll be happy”

. … w h e r e??? You code one of their scenes with a sunset in the background while they talk about love and then one of them goes on a date with someone who has declined his advances for 7 seasons but now in season 8 decides to do a full 180. Not only that, but you announce at a Comic Con (a convention) that a character is gay and has a fiancé, only to kill off the fiancé and never make it explicit in the show except at the last second of the last episode where he marries a no name character.

Personally, i’d like to say a big fuck you to the show that strung me along for 2 years and never stopped saying we’d be happy to then pull the rug out from under us and call us crazy for thinking anything from the past 8 seasons was intentional.

Scooby-Doo (2002)

While not being outwardly queerbaiting, this movie’s filmmaker has just revealed some shocking news, which wasn’t at all shocking to the gays who had watched this movie over the years. In July of 2020, James Gunn, the filmmaker of Scooby-Doo, revealed in a podcast that, initially, Velma was explicitly gay in his script, but then the studio watered it down until it became nothing. This isn’t an example of baiting as much as it is changing a character’s initial design to “better fit an audience”. The worst part of all this is that with Velma’s character having been written with a l i t t l e queer subtext, people had been theorizing about if since the movie came out, but were always yelled at by the internet for “imagining something that isn’t there”. But now, even with it being said that the initial point was for her to be gay, people have no objections to still refusing to accept it. Why?? So we can’t get the subtext gays OR the confirmed gays?? Make it make sense.

Brooklyn 99 (NBC) 2013

To have the queer characters firstly introduced without mentioning their sexualities and have it brought up naturally was so goddamn nice to see, because no one does a big deal about it unless they ask for that. This show is amazing in general but the way they show their queer characters is *chefs kiss*.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) 2018

This. Show. My heart SOARS. It's just a remake of an old show so absolutely nothing was ever expected, but then it was sprinkled in and ENDED WITH A BANG. And it was so beautiful and real to see the struggle of two friends who care for each other and want to be together but have different visions of the world fall in love. And they also had characters with disabilities, a non-binary character and jUST SUCH A GOOD SHOW.

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts (Netflix) 2020

This is a case where you go into it not expecting anything and are BLOWN AWAY by the bare minimum. And not because it’s bad!! It's mind blowing because this is the simple representation we need!! Not something over the top, but an every day relationship. It’s just two boys falling in love and going on dates and being nervous around each other, yet i was so stunned. Because it’s not shown enough. I should not be this excited over something that should be this normal. 10/10 though this show is so good for all kinds of representation.

Steven Universe (Cartoon Network) 2013

This show did so much for queer representation with its general message of loving everyone and loving who you want. Especially since it was aired on Cartoon Network, a channel for kids, it was able to help normalize something so looked down upon in some circles. It made it easy to watch for s o m e people because it's a cartoon but it's so beautiful to see these ladies so in love with each other, both platonically and romantically and we see them have a family dynamic that isn’t a “nuclear family”. Rebecca Sugar (creator) really said “lemme just break all stereotypes real quick”.

Adventure Time (Cartoon Network) 2010

It's the “knowing a fanbase shipped something so hard that the creators made it canon” for me. This relationship had been theorized by fans for years, but it had never been explicit in the show. When the finale episode came out and the two shared a kiss, it was a moment of celebration. The producer of the show said that it had not really been planned but when the episode was being made, the choice of what happened was given to one of the artists (bless your soul Hanna K. Nyströmthe). And as the show releases little bonus episodes, its latest was centered around Marceline and Bubblegum and their relationship. AND WE LOVE TO SEE OUR DOMESTIC LESBIANS BEING HAPPY AND IN LOVE.

Yuri on Ice!!! (anime) 2016

The fact that an A N I M E gave us a love story between two men is mind boggling and it makes me so happy!! Especially because it's a Japanese show and they’re very conservative about these things just makes it more emotional. The creators said they wanted to make the anime take place in a world where gay/straight isn’t a thing, it’s just love (ladies, you’re going to make me cry). So as the weekly episodes came out and fans start speculating, THEY GAVE US THE LAST FEW EPISODES FULL OF ROMANCE AND EMOTIONAL SCENES BETWEEN THE TWO AND THEN THEY GET R I N GS?!???!! You watch for the figure skating, you stay for the figure skaters that are in love.

Shadowhunters (Freeform) 2016

*insert me being frustrated that the actors are straight so we can move on from that disappointment*

This show really said “let’s name a whole episode after this couple because they deserve it”. But seriously, they gave us two characters whose entire plot does not center around their sexualities while still showing us the differences in a relationship between someone experienced and someone new at this. They were both powerful and amazing characters apart from each other, with their own story lines and goals but they loved each other so much omgs. SO MUCH.

It was so great to watch.

Love, Simon (2018)

There’s a lot of disagreement on whether this movie is good representation or not. However, we need to take into consideration that this was Hollywood’s first movie with a main character that was gay, where the story’s focus was on Simon’s love story. The biggest problem, for me at least, was that the actor playing Simon is a straight man and not queer. My problem is not with him, but the fact that there are other actors that are gay and that could have played Simon just as well. (the love interested was however played by a queer actor so ✨progress✨)

All in all, this movie does represent what a lot of queer kids have to go through: being outed at school, how they then come out, the bullying and doubt they go through.

The book is also really good.

Call Me By Your Name (2018)

This movie is so aesthetically pleasing and was able to capture the confusion and heartbreak felt by a boy who’s struggling with his own feelings towards a man. His inner conflict and joy and l o v e he feels but doesn’t know how to deal with is so well communicated through the screen and just breaks your heart because it feels so real.

But again, they could’ve gotten gay actors to play gay characters…

through having this list here, i want to show you that it’s not hard for creators to give good queer representation. the LGBTQ+ community isn’t asking for much, we just want to be well represented on screen as just a regular character, not some token queer kid there for the diversity points. having been exposed to so much queerbaiting and just not seeing any representation on screen, i always get over-excited when i see a queer character, and that’s not how it should be. it should be a normal thing, something you can find in most pieces of media, just like there’s a straight white cisgender person in everything.

and they seriously need to start casting queer actors for queer characters...

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i-am-extremely-mad · 3 years ago

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It shocks me over and over again when I come across blogs that extremely aggressively, absolutely HATE LOK, Korra, korrasami and practically every character and aspect of the show. I have to share this horror with others because these are just a small part of the awful views from that blog (supposedly feminist and lesbian), interestingly, attitudes about LOK and korrasami were mostly positive or at least neutral in 2014-2015, and then abruptly changed sometime in the middle of last year which coincides with LOK finally being on Netflix, I will probably respond to if I am in the mood for a toxic discussion...

Anonymous asked:

“I think it's a bit hypocritical that you hate Korra's personality and not Zuko's.Zuko is arrogant asshole bitch and you like him. I never see you criticizing him like you do with Korra”

“Zuko is an arrogant asshole bitch, but he’s not annoying. Korra is an arrogant asshole bitch and is very annoying. Hope this helps!”

#asks#anti lok#going to absolutely BLOW YOUR MIND to find out that the quality of the media itself determines how much I like a character#as well as the quality of the characters development#also this isn't math there is no transitive property for liking characters#some hit and some don't#get over it#Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

“As soon as I heard “I’m the Avatar; you’ve gotta deal with it!” I knew I would fucking hate that show. I naturally hate people who are like that. If Bryke was still smart they would have thought to make Korra’s personality more like water similar to Aang with air, not “haha fuck you, I’m avatar haha!”

“LOL YEP like 3 seconds into the show you hear that, and understand EXACTLY what the rest of LOK is going to be like. Not only is a jarring contrast to Aang and every other Avatar we’ve seen, it directly contradicts everything we know about the Avatar cycle from ATLA. All the other Avatars have to be TOLD that they are the Avatar, and have to work hard to master their non-native elements. Korra just naturally being able to bend 3 elements when she’s like 5 tells you everything you need to know about how the creators of LOK went about making their show: worldbuilding and logic don’t matter, it’s all about flashy visuals and one-time gags.”

#asks#anti lok#DISGOSTING#'meh meh if korra was a MAN you wouldn't call her arrogant' I absolutely would#korra being a dickhead is not okay just because she's a woman#Anonymous

Anonymous asked:

“Korrasami is shit,a joke, boring af, they don't have romantic chemistry, asami acts like a big sister towards korra. there I said it for you.”

“OOP! Well, I certainly didn’t say it!”

#asks#anti lok#but ur right#ACTUALLY I disagree on one point#asami doesn't act like a sister to korra#they act like work colleagues that only ever hang out during their lunch break#they act like very distant cousins that only talk on facebook#they act like people that share mutual friends but don't know each other that well#okay I'll stop#Anonymous

“Korra: 1/10, I will see myself out the door to be CANCELLED! Not only was her character very unlikeable, but the way fandom reared up to defend this (quite frankly) terrible character under the guise of “wokeness” when it is clear that the creators sprinkled in just enough ~representation~ to get brownie points without actually saying anything meaningful is just EMBARRASSING. Korra defenders are being manipulated by those cishet white men they hate so much, and they do it gladly. Anyway, I find Korra boring, disrespectful, and underdeveloped.”

#asks#ask game#character ask game#anti lok#SORRY YALL LOK'S CHARACTERS ARE BAD#also korra gives off 'mean feminine lesbian who calls gnc women slurs' vibes#korra and asami would bully me and then call me a homophobe#and kuvira gives off such heterosexuelle vibes I simply CANNOT with her#thetpot

“IT’S SO VILE! Korra is barely even an active character in her own show! She’s just a vessel that gets beaten and broken over and over again. She doesn’t actually get to LEARN from any mistakes that she makes, she’s just forced to recover from these external traumas that have literally nothing to do with her.

Ugh, tbh I feel NOTHING for korrasami. Korra and Asami don’t speak about anything except Mako for most of the show, and only really start actually TALKING to each other in the last half of season 4. None of Korra’s friends really spend that much time together throughout the runtime of the show tbh.

But yeah, it’s frustrating that people tout LOK as this amazing show staring a queer WOC, but the people making the show HATED Korra and HATED developing her in a meaningful way.”

Anonymous asked:

“Korra was like Zuko at the beginning of the show, now she in season 4 is like Aang. Bryke gave kuvira a redemption bc team avatar was missing a Zuko. now she is the new zuko and not Korra.”

Sorry, my brain short circuited. You think Korra???? Is like Aang???? That might be the most offensive thing I have ever received in this askbox.

#asks#anti lok#KORRA IS LIKE AANG#IN WHAT UNIVERSE#HOW DARE YOU INSULT MY BOY LIKE THIS#I WON'T STAND FOR IT#Anonymous

“also lock me in lesbian prison but korrasami is WEAK! they didn’t have a single conversation that wasn’t about mako for 3.5 seasons!!! they had zero moments together to indicate that asami would be the only person that korra would write to!!! yall tricked me, I thought I was getting some gay shit.

#anti lok#I SAID WHAT I SAID#korra had more chemistry in her one scene with opal than she ever did with asami”

Anonymous asked:

What do you think of korrasami?

no thank u, I don’t feel like being called a homophobe by a bunch of straight women today.

#asks#anti lok#a hornet's nest I will not be swinging at on this Monday lmao#I hate everything in lok you do the math#I'm sure I've talked about my issues with korrasami on my blog SOMEWHERE#have fun!#Anonymous

Not me seeing posts giving LOK and Korrasami credit for queerness in animation when Steven Universe, Adventure Time, and She-Ra were doing it unapologetically, openly, right from the very beginning....

#anti lok#TESTING MY GODDAMN PATIENCE#if korrasami was individually influential for you as a queer woman that's FINE#but do NOT give this insane credit to the cishet writing team of LOK!!!#not when these other shows were made by ACTUAL QUEER WOMEN#DISGOSTING

Anonymous asked:

if ur looking for an actual well-written canon wlw pairing in the atla verse, there’s rangshi. fc yee works so hard to fix all of bryke’s garbage, bless his soul. i have no hope for anything avatar studios related, but if fc yee is in the writer’s room, then there may be a very marginal chance that the stuff coming out is at least somewhat worthy of being associated with atla. the worldbuilding that he’s done in rise of kyoshi is insane.

I have heard good things about the Kyoshi novels! Unfortunately, LOK is the drop of shit that has poisoned the entire water supply. All ATLA-related works are going to have to be LOK compliant now, which is so deeply restrictive and contradictory to what I liked about ATLA in the first place. I feel like pre-canon stuff is safer (and again, heard AMAZING things about what FC Yee has done with a pre-ATLA world), but I guess I’m too cynical to get really invested in any more ATLA stuff anymore.

#asks#atla#anti lok#put Nat in charge of Avatar Studios and THEN we'll talk#finally get the thotty aang and amazing worldbuilding THAT WE DESERVE#Anonymous

I know, this was awful to see...

#LOK #r/ant #personal r/ant #this fandom sometimes is just... ugh #some people are just so... ugh #some people are just disgusting #Haters gona hate #horrendous #disgusting #pathetic #UGHH

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wrctings · 4 years ago

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Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes | Summer evening

fandom: Marvel pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes summary: Where Steve and Bucky had not yet known war, but they sure knew love (and several fights too, for Steve). word count: 0.7k

i’ve got such strong feelings for pre-serum stevebucky

"But I can see us lost in the memory August slipped away into a moment in time" — Taylor Swift, august

By the time Bucky Barnes found himself back in the streets of Brooklyn, getting off work as the evening swept over daytime, warm beams of sunlight had started to run along the pavement, down to his scuffed shoes. Crooking his neck, the man also noticed that touches of orange aquarelle had rearranged the clear sky up above, meaning that the sun had already started its descent toward the thin horizon line; nightfall awaited around the corner, ready to turn up lampposts with its gracious fingers. A breeze agreeably swirling through his hair, chasing away summery heat to make room for the chill crepuscule weather, Bucky headed back home.

It wasn't long before the brunette reached the building he lived in, then climbing up the stairs to the upper floor, and rummaged through his pockets to find the little key to the right appartement. Judging by the lock, which it only took a single turn to open, Bucky had a slight idea of who might have been back before him. Perhaps a certain childhood best friend, flatmate and long-time partner called Steven Rogers.

"Stevie, I'm home," he called from the hallway, taking his shoes off before washing his hands in the kitchen nearby. As cheesy as it sounded, the man had missed not seeing his boyfriend that afternoon.

However, the scenery that welcomed Bucky into the living room was nothing like what he had expected. Indeed, instead of finding Steve reading on the sofa or drawing outside on the balcony, the sight of the blonde young man buttoning his white shirt over scratches on his chest met his gaze.

"Hey, Buck."

Without further peeking, Bucky rushed up to his friend, having a clue of what had happened.

"Who the hell did you fight with this time?" he questioned, giving the younger man a reproachful look.

"Some jerk who was being hateful," Steve explained, finishing to put the piece of clothing back on. "I told him to stop several times, but apparently his only way of listening to me was getting into a fist fight. Had to knock it out of him."

"Steven, you're an idiot," Bucky stated desperately, reaching for the man's hand nevertheless. "How many times will it take for you to understand that you'll keep getting beaten up?"

"I'm not going to stop, Bucky," Steve said in a softer voice, hating to see his friend so concerned because of him. "I can't just stand back and watch those people be assholes."

"Because you don't like bullies?" The brunette man asked, knowing Steve all too well.

"Yes. Because I don't like bullies."

"You're an idiot," Bucky repeated, but this time a small smile had began to creep its way upon his lips. "Does it hurt much?"

"A little bit. But I feel better already, now that you're here," Steve said fondly. "Don't worry about me, okay Buck? I'll be okay. How was your day at work?"

"Okay, but it doesn't mean I'm giving up on trying to stop you," Bucky smiled, leaving a kiss on the blonde's hand. "I'll check on your bruises in an hour and we'll bring new compresses if they hurt too much. Did you put ice on them?"

"Yes, Buck, come on, I told you I'm okay." Steve brushed the matter off, though the way his best friend cared about him undeniably made his heart swell. "Answer my question now. How was your day?"

"My day was alright," Bucky finally replied. "But I couldn't wait to come back home."

"Well, now you're here" Steve lifted himself up, tenderly kissing the man on the lips to prove his point.

The brunette's eyelashes fluttered, closing as he leant into the kiss — to him, nothing felt more like home than Steve's sometimes grazed lips, his fingers running through the hair at the back of his head, the soft fabric of his shirts. And though he knew that he would never stop worrying over the younger man's constant fighting in dark alleyways, nothing rivalled the happiness they both felt in each other's arms, the love they found together and shared, away from anyone and anything else.

"Stevie..." Bucky mouthed against Steve's lips, their hands intertwined beside them on the sofa. "Are you sure it's doesn't hurt too m—"

"Shut up."

On that 1930's summer evening, Bucky and Steve were happy.

#steve rogers #bucky barnes #pre-serum steve #1930s stucky #stucky #stevebucky #steve rogers fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfiction #marvel fanfiction #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #writing #steve rogers x bucky barnes #my writing #stevebucky fanfiction

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rosyluv · 4 years ago

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—Chapter one: Avenge club.

Summary: Nick Fury joins a group of misfits in S.H.I.E.L.D academy together, to help him stop chaos and injustice happening with-in students in school, thinking that the students he chose are the most adequate. However his choosing only backfires.

Warning: none. Just rlly bad attempts at comedy.

✩ Steven “Steve” G. Rogers.

‎✪ James Buchanan “Bucky” Barnes.

‎⧗ Natalia “Nat/Natasha” Romanoff.

➸ Clinton “Clint” Barton.

𓅃 Samuel “Sam” Thomas Wilson.

‎⎊ Anthony “Tony” Edward Stark.

✲ James “Rhodey” Rhodes.

✧ Virginia “Pepper” Potts.

——

✰ There’s obviously a whole lot other characters in the story with boards too but ofc tumblr bitch won’t let me put more than ten so … ✰ enjoy!

——

“There was an idea, Stark knows this- called the avengers club. The idea is to bring together a group of remarkable people to see if they would become something more, when needed them to fight the battles that we never cou— ”

“Is he doing it again?’’ Sam leaned over Steve and whispered drowning out what Nick is saying. Steve ignored him to listen better to Fury.

“Is he quoting that comic book again?’’ Steve knew what Sam was talking about. In more than one occasion they would enter his office and he would hurriedly put a comic book away –something about earth’s mightiest heroes or something - clear his throat and adjust his shoulders. Nick in all dark clothes, a series almost terrifying face on and a series, unreadable attitude, was a first-class nerd. Who would’ve known? Only them probably.

“So, what you want us to do; is start an anti-bullying club and help people getting bullied in school?’’ Steve recapped what Nick said a minute ago.

Well when Nick Fury: Director and head of the Academy summoned Steve, Natasha, Bucky, Sam, Tony, Pepper, Rhodey, Wanda, Pietro, Clint, Thor, Val and Bruce. He didn’t exactly explain what’s the reason, And since they all frequented his office if not every week then every day, they thought it they had again done something bad. Like maybe it had to do with Clint getting beaten up at 6am behind the school today. So obviously they would be confused that this is why Nick summoned them. Nick was getting tired of their shenanigans, especially with the council putting pressure on the academy, it being the beginning of a new school year, this idea was made in favor of making them useful and at the same time putting a leash on them. Well. It has more depth than that but he’ll get into that eventually.

‘’Tony you didn’t tell us about this. Why?’’ Pepper frowned at Tony.

‘’I honestly didn’t know he was serious.’’ Tony drawled out, narrowing his eyes, studying Nick.

‘’So, no one is going to comment on that passionate speech?’’ Sam joked.

‘’Yes, that is the idea.’’ Nick nods, ignoring the others. “I have been discussing it with The council for a while.’’

“Nick,’’ Nat begins, earning a light frown from him at the usage of his first name, “what do you want us to do exactly? Put up signs that say: ‘Don’t bully, be friends.’ Because those things are embarrassing and a waste of time.’’ She says calmly, pressing an ice pack on Clint’s bruised eye.

‘’Yeah and the council doesn’t know shit,’’ Clint says, ushering Natasha’s hand aside. His bruise shading purple now. “We don’t need an anti-bullying club.’’ He stated confidently.

Nick tilted his head and narrowed his eye; Clint could almost hear him saying ‘bullshit’, almost.

—5 minutes ago

So, Clint wasn’t the smartest one in the group, or better; the safest. In translation: “reckless, thoughtless, and insanely, good at ruining your life.’’ As Nat and Steve would say.

And if ruining his life is getting his back thrashed over the wall outside the main school building in some weird ally, he -somehow- always ended up in every two weeks or so, in the same situation then he was doing pretty good at that.

‘’You know, bullying is so last year dude- ‘’ he began.

‘’Where the fuck is my jacket?’’

‘’What jacket?’’ That prompted a punch to Clint’s face. His eye throbbed.

‘’My jersey jacket, the one you stole from my party last Saturday.’’

‘’Dude, I didn’t steal your jacket.’’ Well to be fair Clint did go to the party last Saturday, and he did drink, a lot. So, he himself wasn’t sure of anything that happened that night, but what he is sure of, is that he would never steal anything, especially a jersey that belongs to the school’s top basketball athlet, Nat would kill him.

“Loki said you’d lie.’’

‘’Lok- what?’’ Clint blinked, then hissed when his eye ached. ‘’Loki Odinson? What does he have to do with this.’’ He recognizes the voice of the guy in front of him he just can’t exactly be sure, and the pain in his eyes are making it hard to concentrate, being sleep deprived and accused of stealing doesn’t help his fuzzy mind either.

“He saw you taking my jacket and leave,’’ He gritted, Looming over Clint.

“And you believed him? Loki? You believed Loki?” he asked amused, almost laughing.

“Why would he lie?’’ he threw his arms up.

“Why would he- ‘’ Clint half whispered like he was so shocked at this guy’s stupidity, he actually had to repeat what he said to understand that he really doesn’t know anything about Loki odinson.

“Have you meet Loki?!’’ he asked genuinely, voice getting higher.

‘’I don’t give a shit about who’s lying and who’s not, my jacket is still missing and if you don’t get it by tomorrows basketball practice, I’ll fucking report you.’’ He spat.

Present time.

‘’Aww, c’mon Nick, that guy’s wack, he wasn’t bullying me, he can’t even punch- owie.” Nat pressed at the bruise a little harder. Intentionally probably, Steve thought.

‘’You won’t just be an anti-bullying club.’’ Nick argued. “You’ll also arrange and be in charge of the dances, the festivals, the field trips.’’

‘’So, like a student council club.’’ Steve drawled, like he was explaining the words to himself and Nick.

“Almost, Not exactly,’’ Nick said, one corner of his lips quirked up and one eye narrowed, creasing under. He looked like he was arranging his words.

“You’ll be official representatives of the school, that’s why you’ll host and arrange the events. You’ll welcome the new kids and supervise on important things, like debate and take student suggestions and at times even football games. And, most importantly, show awareness to not only bullying but the things people normally turn a blind eye to. Students mental health and necessities, you’ll support all communities and stand by kids in school who are given a hard time and excluded, make this a place for no discrimination on all grounds such as sexuality, race, disability, creed, color and wealth. In a way you’ll be the center of everything; the face of the academy.’’

Silence.

Then a little more silence.

Then Tony scoffs. “You make it sound as if it’s a nation not a school.”

Rhodey lets out a breath agreeing with Tony. “Yeah, and Do you really think we can live up to your expectations?’’ he scowls.

Nick shows a buzzled face, Rhodey elaborates: “I mean, this sounds like a big responsibility, and we’re not exactly that responsible, we’re still learning things and Clint practically gets bullied every day,’’ he frowns at Clint who has one eye closed, and the other half open, holding up peace signs.

“What Rhodey wants to say is: Why did you choose us out of a whole other lot better options?’’ Sam explains.

“Yeah and it’s 2020, bullying is irrelevant, instead people just hate on themselves, we all do it!’’ Clint explains, and immediately gets hit in the head by Nat who keeps a monotone expression on. Sam puts another ice pack on Clint’s head.

Ignoring Clint, they go back to the conversation. “Nick, you said it yourself a hundred times; you don’t really trust us.’’ Steve says. “So why are you handling us this?’’

“Yeah it’s making me anxious.’’ Bruce fidgets.

“Bruce everything makes you anxious.’’ Valkyrie corrects.

Fury groans lowly and mumbles something under his breath about difficult kids. “As much as it pains me to say it. You’re the best choices I have.’’

All of their eyes widened, for two reasons. 1st Nicks Fury is never nice, especially to: “What’ll be the death of him.’’ And 2nd, they didn’t exactly believe in themselves being the best at this? Nick must provide some reasonable points or they would just consider this a last-minute decision or that they’re his last option or something.

Nick must’ve noticed the second reason (and ignored the first reason) because with a long sigh, he began. “Steve, remember last year, Will Hanks, that kid who didn’t get accepted in the golf team, because the leader was a homophobe?’’ Steve nodded. “You reported him to me and I kicked him out of the team, and Will is now 1st class champion of the school team with two silver medals.’’

Steve looks like he’s going to say something. “Val,’’ Nick begins. “Remember Last year? Maya Perez that girl that was excluded of the student lock-in night, because she didn’t know how to speak English well. And you locked those girls out of school and welcomed her in?’’ Val made a face.

“Pepper, Tony and Thor, you three have become sort of role models- ‘’

“Icons.’’ Tony corrected.

Nick ignores him. “The three of you have great influence on the kids who go here. They would do anything that you do in a heartbeat. Say the things you say, believe the things you believe in- ‘’

“Your point?’’

“My point is:” he adds the same amount of sarcasm Tony added. “They’re affected by your status, imagine you three beginning to fix the bad things happening in school, putting a stop to them. Using this reputation you have on making good things in school. They would eventually start doing the same too.’’ They didn’t argue, except Tony, who looks like he has a ton of things to say.

“Rhodey and Bruce, you two are smart and fair and you know what to do in inconvenient and hard situations, you have a sense of … adultery, you would be considered the most responsible and reasonable.’’

“And I’ve also noticed some blunt physical bullying.’’ Nick continues, slowly turning to face Clint. Clint blinked pressing his lips together.

“So, I also have a plan for that.’’

‘’Which is?’’ Nat asks.

“Val, Nat, Bucky, Steve and Thor. You guys have the ability to stand up for these bullies that beat up and take advantage of weaker kids, the things that go unnoticed to teachers I’m sure you see them. You have guts and are -weirdly- super strong.’’

“Clint, Pietro, you two are excelled sports champions, Pietro, I have never seen anyone run a track as fast as you, you’re the school’s top athletes.’’ Nick says. “Clint, I know you can be responsible and i know you can quit being a dumbass and start going back to practice.’’

“Sam, Wanda, the two of you are brilliant at consoling. Remember, that girl Anna, who had a serious leg injury and couldn’t heal because of emotional distress, she felt that she failed her gymnastic team because she couldn’t win. You two talked to her and reassured and eased her into healing mentally before physically.’’ Wanda scratched her head. Sam bit the inside of his cheek.

“And finally,” he began, tiredly. “Steve, you have a strong moral code, you know what’s right and what’s wrong, being the football team captain and on top of all school activities, people look up to you. You make good decisions and can guide and lead people.’’ The room was dead silent by the time he finished; you could hear a pin drop.

“Okay that’s a great motivational speech I’ll give you that,’’ Tony began. “But, that’s sadly 20 percent of what’s good, the other 80 percent are bad things. This is easily a stupid idea. We can’t force people to change, schools will always have bad kids.’’ Tony argues.

“And why exactly are you here, you only care about yourself and your own appearance.’’ Steve points out. “Take that leather jacker off what are?’’

“Sorry I don’t wear my church pants to school.” Tony shoots back looking at Steve’s khaki pants, flannel shirt, the academy symbol imprinted on the left side, (because god forbid they didn’t have the logo on their clothes) then a red and blue football jersey jacket. And Tony is looking at his outfit with so much disbelief, Pepper rolls her eyes at him.

Val shakes her head, frowning. “What the fuck are they talking about? That was so random.”

“You people are so petty,’’ Thor chuckles, his accent deepening. “ … and tiny.’’ He frowns.

“What do you mean you people?” Clint exclaims.

“Sorry to stay this is very stupid, like Stark said.’’ Thor says, leaving the office.

He opens the door and stops dead in his tracks. Nick must’ve added some intense sound proof doors because they were immune to the commotion happening outside. Every kid in school was fighting, the hallways were a mess, the old posters they had up made a new place on the floor and torn, pepper gasped when she saw (she worked two days on those) and in the middle of it all was-

“Loki!’’ Thor shouts, already angry at his brother, literally standing in the middle of the chaos. “What. Did. You. Do?’’

“Nothing.’’ He says, offended.

Nat runs after Thor and stops a girl– Beth who’s standing away looking nervous and anxious (obviously), Nat begins to ask her what is happening. She explains shakily: ‘‘All the exam report cards got mixed up and some are torn in the garbage, people who passed now have Fs, and it’s all a mess! they’re fighting because they think one of the them did it.’’ The girl said, nervously.

Nat and Tony and all the others hurriedly look in their bags for their own report cards, which they just received this morning, only forgot to look at when Nick had summoned them.

‘’I got a D- on history?! No way that’s true. I studied so hard for that test.’’ Steve says, then he checks the rest of the subjects. “Well at least I got an A+ in math.’’

Tony scrunches his card. “Yeah there’s definitely something wrong with these report cards.’’ He hurries to say.

“I got an F in biology?!’’ Bruce gasps.

“Okay … ” Tony drawls out. “This is just so stupid. All of the information in the report cards are saved in the student school data base so it’s not that big of a deal.’’ He says, confused.

“I don’t think they know that; some misunderstanding must’ve happened.’’ Beth tells them.

“Did you do this?’’ Thor asks Loki, or more of yells.

“Maybe I did. Maybe I didn’t.” He coons.

“So you did. Why?!”

“‘Cause, I was bored.’’ He says, like it’s the most reasonable argument.

“This is why mom is always disappointed in you!” Sam burst out laughing in the back. Thor didn’t understand, well Thor never liked vine anyway, so Sam wouldn’t expect him to get it.

“You hurt my feelings.’’ He puts a hand on his heart, dramatically, like the theatre nerd he is.

“I don’t care.” Thor says. “Stop this madness right now.’’ He demands.

Loki makes a face like he’s thinking it over.

“No.’’ He simply says and leaves.

“Tony you said the report cards are saved in the … Uh- data base, right?’’ Steve asks.

“I did, yeah, does your frozen brain not get it, should I explain- ‘’

“No!’’ Steve stops him. “Look, they obviously don’t know that for some reason; someone should tell them so they stop fighting.’’ Steve says.

“Yeah probably.’’ Tony nods sighing and Steve realizes he isn’t going to volunteer to do it, so he huffs and heads to Nicks office and grabs a horn mic from his office desk. He hesitates for a second, when he finds Nick not moving in his chair. Normally he’s supposed to be out there, putting a stop to the chaos. Yet he’s not bothering. Nick gestures for him to go ahead with his hand. Was this some sort of test? Because Nick was weirdly calm for an academy director in a situation like this.

Steve saw Mr. Coulson enter Nicks office while he was stepping out, he heard him say: “What should we do?! I can’t find any of the teachers they’re gone!’’ in a panic. To which Fury answeres with: “Nothing, just stand by. They can handle this on their own.’’ And Steve thinks he could differ on that.

He stood in front of the others who were outside now, the mic in his sweaty, big, nervous palm, straightening his back to seem capable like he always does, “Okay I don’t think Fury is going to help stop this,’’

“Why?’’

Nat made a face, “Because he wants us to take care of it.’’ She states.

“And we’ll calmly ignore that,’’ Tony draggs the words out.

“No. We need to fix this, not because we have anything to prove; but because we should.’’ Steve protests.

Tony makes a disgusted face. “Okay, captain righteous.’’ He jokes.

Rhodey sighs with a nod, “What should we do?’’ He questions Steve.

Steve blinks, and he’s making the same face that he made when he and Bucky were eight, that time they ate all the cake Sarah — his mom— bought from the bakery for their arriving guests, and there was no way they could make it to the bakery five blocks away in time, before his mom comes back and yells at them, then he clenched his little hands unintentionally, his eyes widening comically and told Bucky that if they take a shortcut they could go to the bakery and get another freshly baked one before his mom comes back from work and she wouldn’t notice. She didn’t.

“Okay … there’re two storage rooms, Tony, Bruce, Pepper and Rhodey, separate and go to each, make sure the data isn’t erased and that it’s all there. Sam, Wanda, take Beth away and try to calm her down. Val, Thor, Pietro and Buck.’’ he looked at the stairs and saw a kid almost fall. “Make sure no one gets hurt. And if someone is, take them to the infirmary, please.’’ He looks at Nat and Clint, “Look for the teachers, see where you can find them, and bring them back so they can help sort this out.’’ They all groan at the thought of getting the teachers back, but all of them headed to do the things he ordered nonetheless.

Finally after they’re all gone he looks at the long main hall stairs and decides it’s the best place for everyone to see and hear him well

He climbs the stairs and when he reach the top, He holds the horn mic to his lips and shouts for them to listen; it doesn’t work, they don’t stop. Then the second time also doesn’t work. Then he goes to shout again but the Bucky is next to him on the stairs and snatching the mic from his hand.

‘’Hey! Everybody SHUT UP, Listen!’’ And this time it works somehow and Steve looks at him confusedly because everyone stopped shouting and fighting and looked expectedly at Steve. Bucky gave him the mic back and Steve breathed out a thanks.

He takes a breath in. “You can’t fight about unreasonable things that you didn’t think through. This is just a misunderstanding.’’ Steve reasoned slowly.

“But the report cards- ‘’

‘’The report cards are filed in the school’s data base so our real gradings aren’t lost,’’ Steve explains. “How did you guys not think of this?!’’

A guy Speaks up. “Loki said the teachers didn’t save them in the data base, he told us he saw someone in the teachers’ office switch them up too!’’ he explains.

Steve puts the mic down. “And you believed him??’’ he asks amused, making a very confused face.

“Anyway, the point is, we all can have our real report cards back, it’ll take a few days but I’m sure Nic- ” Nick, who was standing outside his office now, glares at Steve. “Mr. fury, will arrange them in their right order in no time.’’ Steve says. “So, you have nothing to worry about, everything will be alri …’’ He trails.

He sees Pepper, Bruce, Tony and Rhodey return to the main hallway, they look at Steve at the top of the stairs. Bruce waves his hand over his throat in a ‘stop’ motion and Rhodey keeps making hand gestures for Steve to stop talking, Steve and Bucky’s eyes narrow trying to understand what they’re trying to say. Tony rolls his eyes and uncrosses his arms, “For fucks sake,’’ he sighs. “There’s nothing in the storage rooms, it’s all a mess.’’ He shouts.

“Tony!’’ Pepper snaps at him, Rhodey scoffs like he was expecting that, and Steve’s eyes widened in panic.

“What?! They’re going to be madder when they know he’s lying anyway.’’ Tony defends and Pepper shakes her head.

“So that was a fucking lie!’’ Someone shouts from the back. “Loki was right!’’ and then they’re fighting again, and it’s more of a mess than it was before if that’s even possible. Val, Thor, Rhodey, Pepper, Tony, Bruce, Sam, Nat and Clint had come back and stood at the top of the stairs with Steve and Bucky, away from the chaos.

“What do we do now?’’ Sam asks, Steve shakes his head, like he can’t give an answer.

Bruce fidgets. “All in for not being up to this.’’ They all raise their hands.

Clint leans his head to Steve’s, still looking at the mess in front of them, “We couldn’t find the teach-’’ Steve makes a frustrated sound in the back of his throat, his head falling down. Like he was expecting that but he didn’t want to hear it.

“Does anybody know where Loki is?’’ Thor asks, they all turn slowly and glare at him.

“Okay fine, no one cares.’’ Thor huffs and looks at the trashed hallway. “Understandable.’’ He nods.

Pepper sighs. “This is a mess.’’

“Yeah, such a mess.’’ Someone next to her says, someone she can’t recognize the voice of. She frowns and looks beside her. A girl, 5’5ft or maybe taller, shoulder length almost golden hair, fair clear skin, blue eyes and long lashes and a charming dimple smile, broad lean shoulders, wearing their school uniform, the original one, well they all designed their uniforms the way they wanted them to look, “as long as the logo is there.’’ Nick would sigh out. So, they recognized it was different than their own and other kids designed ones.

“Who are you?’’ Rhodey asks, pointing a finger at her.

“I’m Carol,’’ she smiles. “The new girl.’’

——

I promise next chapter will be better i prOMISE—

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hearthandhomemagick · 4 years ago

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Food For Thought - Steven Universe

Hello there, I would like to tell you my story and journey with the amazingly beautiful, and wonderfully written TV Show...

Steven Universe.

I started watching this show when it first came out in High School. I mean, I was so excited to watch it that I anticipated the very first episode and sat down with snacks to observe it’s premier. I had become immediately enthralled not only with the art style, but also with the genuine wholesomeness and elucidations of processing emotions and life experiences. I was astounded that a kids show could express to me how to manage my emotions as well as connect with my moral standings. It’s a show I recommended to everyone, but often didn’t talk about because of it being a kids show, and me being almost being grown. It was my secret love until someone else brought it up.

This show stuck with me through the years, and helped me through some of my hardest moments in life.

I remember watching the episode, “Mindful Education” and melting into Garnet’s lesson of mindfulness and self-awareness. I had been going through a lot at the end of 2016, graduating and going through a rough election along with having to move states for college. My opinions were forming in the extreme area and I had a fire to protect my thoughts and opinions with no restrain or any form of control of my emotional reality. I was rambunctious as much as I was head-strong and, at times, hard-headed all together.

When this episode aired, I didn’t know why I loved Garnet and Stevonnie’s song, “Here Comes a Thought.” But I did, and it still carries with me into my life today.

I want to discuss a specific time, though, that this episode saved my sanity and opened my eyes to a concept I didn’t understand when I first watched it. I was on social media, and was defending my opinions against quite a few people by myself. Eventually, I was getting nasty comments from a bunch of millennials telling me,

“You’re too fucking stupid to understand, maybe you should go back to school, child.”

“You’re so emotional, and your emotions don’t matter here. Imagine being this dumb.”

“Imagine being a dumb bitch like Carly and saying you wanted to cut your penis off to look like a woman.” *NOTE I am not transgender, there is nothing wrong with being transgender and her insinuating such did not bother me. Her rhetoric insinuating trans was wrong is what irked me, this bitch was transphobic and had issues that she needs to repair in her own time. She wrote an entire post based around this context on her personal page using my real name, and she didn’t even know who I was.*

and my personal favorite, “Here’s the suicide hotline, I know your generation is prone to killing themselves and are overly emotional.”

Now, there were over 50, under 100, messages going back and forth where these people were just bullying me and I refused to back down. I wound up in a panic attack in my bedroom, literally wanting to kill myself because they were bullying me. The hotline would have come in handy if it were the actual hotline. I ended up going to my dad and older sister (my older sisters friend was the main one I was arguing with and her posy showed up on my post), because no one on the post was on my side.

Both told me, “If you can’t handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen.” My sister told her friend to stop, and threatened the other girl for her nasty posts and comments. My dad tried to mediate on the post itself, but the people wouldn’t stop. I eventually had to take it down.

My family didn’t calm me down in this moment. Not even a little bit. It felt like a back-handed helping hand. Like they wanted to protect me, but also somewhat agreed with the people on the post.

The only thing that calmed my nerves in this moment, ultimately, was the song, “Here Comes a Thought.”

I sat in my room, sobbing, hoping to myself that it would make sense as to why it was okay for these things to happen. The song soothed over my nerves, eventually releasing my muscles and giving me a sense ease. I was able to process and realized a few personal things as well. I didn’t realize it, but before long, I was meditating to the song on repeat. I kept telling myself, “I’m okay, this is a thought. A moment. I am not my thoughts. I am not this moment.”

This was simply one of the ways Steven Universe has helped me process and understand myself more. I bring this up because I came across and article today that disappointed me to the core.

The Steven Universe Fandom has toxic tendencies.

I was shook.

How could a child’s show be turned into something so negative? Something that was meant to promote self-awareness, self-love, acceptance of character, and understanding of others had been morphed into a gatekeepers safe haven.

Now I know this isn’t the majority, and before you get offended, hurt or start defending yourself, I want you to ask yourself if what you are defending is an action you would defend from anyone else. If it is, by all means defend your ground.

But the one concept that eludes me, and offers zero substance in terms of valid arguments, is that men can not watch this show. Let me explain why men NEED to watch this fucking show.

My boyfriend watched this entire show, episode for episode, and benefitted from it. This show offered him coping techniques, an understanding of why love should come before war, and mediating every situation so you see and understand every perspective. These are things children shows didn’t offer him growing up, he has often and openly verbalized his need for this show in his childhood because of certain traumas, and we often continue watching it even after seeing every single episode and movie.

This show was never meant for one or two groups of people, and if you feel that way then refer back to the writers themselves who were literally trying to teach the lesson in the show over and over again to NEVER EXCLUDE PEOPLE FROM YOUR GROUP. You exclude people, and you create a division, a war of sorts. You immediately have become the thing Steven Universe advocated against in the first place.

This also leads into the whole “art” situation in the fandom.

This show is anti-bully. There are commercials for it and everything. It is expressed in multiple episodes why bullying is never a good thing in any situation.

You simply cannot justify the hypocrisy in bullying someone out of self-expression that literally harms no one. You can’t justify it.

Think about it. You draw or sketch a piece of art that took you hours, or even a few minutes. It’s your favorite character, and maybe you yourself are going through some mental thoughts regarding your weight that lead you to draw the character thinner or bigger. Size shouldn’t matter in any capacity when relating a character to ones self.

If you’re skinny, you’re beautiful. If you are thick or curvy, you are beautiful. If you are obese or overweight, you are beautiful. Weight doesn’t matter, but representation of body types in different characters does matter.

Imagine a child falls in love with a bigger character, but is experiencing body challenges where she is being picked on for being too thin or scrawny (it happens, I’ve seen it with my nieces). Who are you to say that making her favorite character look like her own body is wrong? Especially if art is a coping mechanism they use for mental health reasons.

Like Malachite, a fusion that was devastating and abusive in every way, you are taking the choice and voice of an entire being to make your actions and opinions “right” or “okay”.

There is so much more I could say on this show, and so much more I could say about the fandom. And I know it is not the majority of the fandom, but I did want to make everyone in the fandom aware that we are human.

None of us are stoic and balanced like Garnet, and even Garnet had problems in her relationship. None of us are strong and laid back like Amethyst, and even she had self-love issues. None of us are as analytical and organized as Pearl, and yet she had problems throughout the series.

None of you are perfect, and to act as if you are is defeating the purpose of a show trying to teach you how to be responsible for yourself and your actions. I’m not perfect either, and preaching about a fandom I’m not a huge part of sounds counter-intuitive, I’m aware.

But my nieces want to watch this show. My nephew watches this show with me. My boyfriend’s niece is going to start watching the show.

Please do not make a toxic environment for kids who need this show to grow up. Kids who experience trauma, and learn from this show deserve a safe space without people trying to justify bullying or force them to think that because they are a boy or girl, they can or can’t watch the show. Without people making people feel bad for being themselves.

Why don’t we create a new space? A space where everyone is accepted as they are, and negative behavior is addressed the same way the gems or Steven would address them. With education, perception awareness, and PATIENCE.

I know some will say, “It’s not my job to raise your child.” and “It’s not my responsibility to make people aware of their tendencies.”

You’re right. It’s also not your responsibility to bully people into changing themselves to fit your dialogue. Simply put, you’re responsible for yourself alone. But you have no right to complain on someone's behavior, art or experiences if you are not willing to be patient with correcting said behavior in yourself first.

Who knows, maybe I’m in the wrong here for not knowing the full story. All I’m saying is, if you see someone being a bully, being mean or even being a hypocrite, call them out in the sweetest way possible. Let them know we are facilitating a safe space for people who need a community rather than a closed off club.

Be the change you want to see in this world.

Learn, grow and prosper.

I wish you all well and genuinely hope we can all expand our perspectives to fully understand each other in healthier and more communicative based ways. We deserve that sort of kindness from each other.

#steven #stevenuniverse #amethyst #pearl #garnet #malachite #cartoonshow #art #love #patience #understanding #herecomesathought #foodforthought

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acephysicskarkat · 4 years ago

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Redemption, Forgiveness and She-Ra S5

So just to spite the anon who told me to stop posting my opinions, I’m gonna post another opinion!

This will contain spoilers for SPOP, Avatar: the Last Airbender, The Good Place, and Steven Universe.

So the most common take that I’ve heard about S5 from Catra stans is that it’s a story about redemption and forgiveness and that if I’m in any way critical of it then I’m saying abusers can never redeem themselves.

To which I say: the second part is a strawman argument, and the first part doesn’t help because it’s a bad story about redemption and forgiveness.

Part 1: Redemption

The problem with S5′s stories about redemption is that they are, universally, undercooked. For things that the fanbase had been wanting for months, they’re surprisingly lacking in meaningful impact.

Catra’s is the least bad, because Catra is at least on-screen long enough to tell us that it seems to be sticking, but it’s still not good. It’s rushed, it’s weightless, and it feels like they didn’t even check what she’d done in the past three seasons that she would need to find redemption for.

At no point does she meaningfully confront her actions (which, in case you’ve forgotten, ranged from bringing about the death of Queen Angella (S3E6), to repeated attempts to murder or permanently harm Adora (S1E11, S1E13, S2E5, S3E4-6, S4E3), to bullying Scorpia (present throughout but most obvious in S4E6), to taking part in a war crime (S4E8)), nor does she really confront the jealousy and spite that drove them. Indeed, the episodes that could have been spent showing us her character development are spent showing us that she still has a very unhealthy attitude towards Adora (S5E6) and telling us that she underwent her character development offscreen, while we were distracted by Double Trouble (S5E8).

Hordak’s is even worse, because Catra at least admits she wronged people, even if the focus is put almost entirely on Catra feeling bad about it. Hordak realises, accurately, that being made into a cog in a machine of conquest is bad (S5E13)...but he never makes the leap onscreen to it still being bad when he did it to other people, as he did to Adora and the other Horde kids (S2E7). It treats Hordak’s decision to break free of Horde Prime as if it in and of itself makes him good, overlooking that the life he’s trying to go back to was the one where he ruled over an empire of stolen children.

I don’t even want to get into Shadow Weaver.

AtLA gave a compelling redemption arc to Zuko by having him confront the consequences of his actions. SU gave a compelling redemption arc to Peridot by showing us, in great detail, her evolution from antagonist to ally. SPOP just kinda tells us that characters are good now and expects that to work out okay.

And the really depressing thing is that both these characters actually could have sustained really compelling redemption arcs! I would have loved to see Hordak meaningfully realise onscreen that the universe does not consist of him, Horde Prime, Imp, Entrapta, and a bunch of largely interchangeable pawns for him to treat as he sees fit. I would have loved to see Catra wrestle with and overcome her resentment of Adora, maybe come to understand that being Shadow Weaver’s favourite fucking sucked actually. The show just didn’t bother, and so what we got was on par with a bad fanfic or the backstory for a D&D character.

Part 2: Forgiveness

For my money, one of the best stories about forgiveness in modern media is in a third season episode of The Good Place called “A Fractured Inheritance”.

Explaining it with as few spoilers as possible, protagonist Eleanor Shellstrop discovers that her cartoonishly neglectful mother Donna faked her death and seems to have built a new life where she’s a good stepmother to a child. Eleanor spends most of the episode convinced that her mother is running a scam, but eventually concludes that this does appear to be sticking and gives up her plan to reveal Donna’s secret, cautioning her not to go back to how she used to be. At the end, she opens up to a friend about the trauma she sustained as a result of her upbringing.

SPOP could never.

"A Fractured Inheritance” tells a more compelling story about forgiveness in 15 minutes of screentime than she-Ra S5 managed in four and a half hours because The Good Place cares about Eleanor’s trauma. It’s portrayed as pretty understandable that she has a grudge against her mother, and working through that takes time and sustained proof that Donna has changed. More than that, forgiveness isn’t portrayed as a magical button that instantly solves Eleanor’s issues; just because she’s letting go of her anger towards Donna doesn’t mean that the harm she suffered as a result of Donna’s neglect goes away. Her fear of opening up or being vulnerable, stemming from a childhood of constantly being shat on when she did, is still there, even after reconciling with her mother.

Contrast this to She-Ra S5. The second Catra says she’s sorry, Adora is willing to forgive her and go across the universe to help her (S5E3), even though in their last interaction, back in S4E3, Adora actively tried to kill her for pretty darn compelling reasons (you may remember those reasons from S3E4-6). Adora gets, like, a brief rant in S5E4 where she seems to be confused about this, but there’s never a point where she meaningfully seems to process the trauma she’s suffered as a result of Catra’s treatment of her, which we know has been toxic, controlling and unhealthy since they were kids (S5E3).

More than that, there’s never really a point where any of the people Catra victimised in the first four seasons gets to deal with that. Glimmer seemingly never realises that Catra is why her mother is dead (S3E6), which is especially jarring given that the effects of Angella’s death on Glimmer drove the entire previous season; Entrapta barely remembers that Catra betrayed her and sent her to her presumed death (S5E6); Bow thinks someone who’s done nothing but attempt to hurt his friends for as long as he’s known her is adorable (S5E8); Scorpia forgives her before she even finishes saying sorry (S5E13); and both Frosta decking her in S5E9 and Perfuma’s understandable irritation with the woman who bullied her GF in S5E10 are portrayed almost as jokes, the latter never escalating beyond mild rudeness.

This also extends to Hordak, who, after his tissue-thin face turn in S5E13, gets a baffling montage that tries to portray his picking up an abandoned child and indifferently turning her over to an abusive sorceress (S2E7) as somehow heartwarming and a big bonding moment, and then the notion that Mermista might have some grudges against the guy who burned down her home and displaced her people (S5E7-8) is framed as comic.

I’m not even saying that neither of these characters should never be forgiven by anyone! Just that the forgiveness they get in the show is lacking in dramatic weight, because the actions that are being forgiven don’t feel like they mean anything. Catra has hurt Adora, Glimmer, Entrapta, Scorpia, Mermista and countless unnamed innocents, and it’s all treated like it has the same impact as borrowing Adora’s Xena DVDs and forgetting to give them back. Hordak should be considered Etheria’s greatest monster given the number of people who’ve died as a result of his actions and maybe one person is slightly irritated at the prospect of having to send him a Christmas card this year.

(This is without getting into the fact that Glimmer and Entrapta are expected to deal with the consequences of their actions to some degree, with each getting an episode focused around that (S2E2, S2E4). It’s kind of wild that Glimmer nearly destroying the world because she took a reckless risk in a desperate gamble to try and save the people she cares about from the Horde blitzkrieg, a gambit that she immediately tried to fix when she realised she’d fucked up (S4E10-13) is treated as something that causes a notable rift in her friendships, but Catra nearly destroying the world because she was just that jealous of Adora (S3E3-6) is breezed past with an “I’m sorry.” Entrapta building the robots causes the Alliance to hold grudges; Hordak waging 25 years of warfare is [shrug] Just Horde Clone Things.)

3. Salvaging These Plot Points

Now, as I implied above, the notion that I think these characters are irredeemable is a bullshit strawman, a thought-terminating cliche that Catra stans use to dismiss criticism without processing with it. So how would I go about it?

Catra

I would start by having Catra and Glimmer be in the same escape. Having her attempt to sacrifice herself in S5E3 had some weird thematic issues given her previously established self-destructive streak (S2E5, most of S3). If we have to keep the bad plot point where Adora recovers the friend who loves and cares for her and immediately goes “well, we gotta leave our friends back home to deal with a colonial invasion while we charge across the universe to save my abusive stalker ex who’s never respected my personhood or autonomy”, I’d probably look at the two biggest missed opportunities in the season: S5E6 and S5E8.

S5E6 is terrible, and should just be expunged mercilessly with fire for its baffling endorsement of the sentiment “yes i abused u but now u hate me so i’m the victim really”. Its replacement should probably be focused around Adora genuinely processing the harm she’s sustained as a result of Catra’s treatment of her, probably deciding at the end that she’ll accept Catra’s help but is still understandably suspicious of her given the established mistrust (S1E8) and hostility (S4E3).

S5E8 is easy to fix, though; instead of it mostly being the characters bumbling around a haunted house, I’d make the setting actually do stuff for the characters’ arcs. We already know that First One ruins can bring up memories, so I’d turn it into a reversal of S1E11 where Adora and Catra’s friendship can actually be rebuilt, probably culminating in Catra saving Adora from falling off a cliff as a symbolic rejection of the resentment she would have been struggling with throughout the episode. This is probably where Adora starts to actually believe that Catra has become a better person.

Basically, the goal here is to show the audience that Catra is working to overcome her issues and become a better person, instead of telling us that it happened offscreen.

Hordak

The problem with Hordak’s face turn is that at no point in the show, including after we’re supposed to treat him as Good Now, does he seem to give a shit about anyone not on a list that contains maybe 4-5 names. I’d probably put in some scenes earlier where his experiences seem to be actually changing him for the better: maybe his response to Entrapta asking him to spare Catra isn’t to commute her sentence to a suicide mission, or he feels a sudden sympathy with a captive Etherian after the fall of Salineas, as the shared feelings of loss line up, and orders their release. Basically, the idea is to put in some groundwork so that it actually feels like he might be safe to have around, instead of him betraying his tyrannical overlord because he misses his life where he was, himself, a tyrannical overlord.

I also would not play the idea that people might be a little bit suspicious of a man with a 25-year history of ruthless oppression, colonial violence and unprovoked warmongering as a joke. Just one of those personal quirks.

4. Summary

In conclusion:

S5 is a bad story about redemption because it doesn’t give the characters being redeemed engaging or compelling redemption arcs, favouring a blind rush to the ending, and it’s a bad story about forgiveness because it treats the actions that are being forgiven as though they don’t mean anything, even when episodes or entire seasons have been built on the effects of those actions. It’s not that these ideas are bad in general, that these characters axiomatically couldn’t be redeemed or that forgiveness is problematic; it’s just that the execution is bad.

Anyway, thanks, jackass anon, for inspiring me to set down my thoughts in detail like this!

#s5 salt #spop spoilers #writing thoughts #redemption arcs #forgiveness

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bullyyourgayuncle · 4 years ago

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Bully Your Gay Uncle, A Series of Vignettes Concerning Steven Boxleitner, Becky Botsford, and the Ethics of Being a Jewish Man with a Mouse Brain Attached To Your Head

Becky isn’t quite sure how she’s related to Steven Boxleitner – her dad’s cousin’s wife’s brother, or something like that. It doesn’t really matter how they’re related - all that matters is that he’s the closest family the Botsfords have in the city, and that he discovers her secret early on. He becomes the only person she can trust with her secret for a long, long time.

Becky loves her Uncle Steven. How many kids can brag about their multiple-doctorates uncle? Some of her classmates don’t understand exactly how smart he is, but all Becky has to do is describe the contraptions in his lab to capture her friends’ attention.

Uncle Steven isn’t just smart – he’s also one of the nicest people Becky knows, and he cares about her as if she were his own daughter. His one flaw is his airheadedness, and it’s a forgivable sin. He’s Becky’s favorite uncle by far, and the Botsfords invite him over just as often as they drop Becky off at his lab when they have a date night or have to go shopping with T.J.

Then, of course, the accident happens, and things change.

Becky can’t even look at her Uncle Steven after first putting him in jail, much less speak to him. She doesn’t know what to think. Her parents don’t know that he’s changed, and she feigns illnesses every time they discuss dropping her off at his home. They don’t find out he’s been put in jail until he calls a month after and tells them he’s been released.

“So, yeah, feel free to drop Becky off whenever you need to,” he rambles in that strange, new, higher-pitched voice of his. “Sorry about all this.”

Tim Botsford frowns, and calls his wife over to discuss the situation.

“I don’t know about leaving Becky alone with a criminal,” he says in the same innocuous tone he says nearly everything in. Becky pretends not to listen to the conversation, but she can’t help herself. Her mom sighs.

“He’s not really a criminal,” she wheedles. “He was arrested for cheese crime. That’s about as criminal as a parking violation.”

“I still don’t think it sets a very good example for the kids,” Tim says.

Sally sighs. “Let’s sleep on it. I’m sure it’ll be easier to decide in the morning.”

Becky goes to sleep, hoping that the adults can solve the problems for once.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Two-Brains regresses into a bad uncle before he becomes a good uncle again. He knows he’s being a bad person, but he can’t bring himself to care for a while. All that matters is cheese.

Becky captures him and hands him over to the sheriff, and he’s cognizant enough to realize she’s incredibly upset. He sits behind bars for his given time before his release, and then he visits his rabbi.

Rabbi Donenberg barely bats an eye when he strolls in. “I had a feeling you’d be here soon enough.”

“No ‘welcome back?’” He grouses. His mood is exponentially worse than it was as Steven, and the mouse brain is still aching for cheese. Rabbi Donenberg shrugs.

“How are you, Steven?” she asks.

“Not Steven, Dr. Two-Brains,” he snaps. “Steven’s not here right now.”

Rabbi Donenberg hums to herself. “Alright, Dr. Two-Brains. What do you need help with?”

Despite himself, he hesitates. “I don’t think my niece likes me very much anymore.”

“Can you think of anything that may have caused this change?” Rabbi Donenberg asks dryly.

“I came to you for help,” he says, scowling.

The rabbi shrugs. “Have you talked to your niece since the incident?”

“...yes?” It's not a lie.

“Are you not sure?” Rabbi Donenberg asks.

Two-Brains makes a “feh” noise and shrugs. He’d been confronted by Wordgirl. He wasn’t sure if that counted as talking it out with his niece.

Tell her Becky is Wordgirl! the mouse brain yells. It had been a near-constant thought in Two-Brains’ mind since he acquired the pesky thing.

I will not do that, he thinks back crossly. Be quiet.

Cheese! Now!

Two-Brains pulls a piece of cheese out of his lab coat pocket and eats it. Rabbi Donenberg watches him do so, her eyes flitting between the cheese and the mouse brain.

“So you have or have not spoken with your niece?” she asks.

“Sort of?” Two-Brains answers. “We’ve met. We haven’t really talked.” Again, not quite a lie.

“You know, I may not have any PhDs, but I’m not an idiot. You are a poor liar,” Rabbi Donenberg says.

“I’m decently wealthy, actually,” Dr. Two-Brains quips. “You would think the college would fire me after the accident, but I’ve got tenure, and–”

“Now you’re just avoiding the subject,” Rabbi Donenberg sighs. “My suggestion is that you actually talk to her. She’s about ten, right?”

“Yeah.”

“She’s going to be going through a tough time soon enough anyway, and she doesn’t need to be worrying about you on top of that,” she says. “Reassure her that you’re there for her, despite your – um, condition –”

“You’re referring to the evil mouse brain I fused to myself, correct? Just to be clear.”

“Yes, Steven –”

“Dr. Two-Brains!”

“Dr. Two-Brains,” Rabbi Donenberg corrects, rubbing her temples. “Just be there for her, the best you can. Reassure her you won’t hurt her, and that you still love her, and that none of this is her fault.”

Two-Brains leaves feeling more guilty than he did when he arrived.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Becky – Wordgirl, rather – pulls him into the hallway by his arm, and glares at him. She says nothing, so he takes initiative and speaks first.

“Hey, Becky,” he says, smiling. “How’s my favorite niece?”

“Two-Brains,” she replies shortly, and yeah, it may be true, but it hurts. “What are you doing here?”

“What, in my synagogue?” He rolls his eyes. “What do you think?”

“What do I – what evil thing are you planning now?” she demands. “Are you gonna turn the building into cheese? The books?”

Two-Brains blinks at her. “I have cheese with me,” he says frankly, pulling a small bit out of his pocket. “To keep the mouse brain in check so I don’t cheesify the Torah. I do this every Friday night?”

“No, Uncle Steven did this every Friday night!” she exclaims. “Not, not you!”

“I have his brain, you know,” Two-Brains says. He’s irritated, but he only lets mild annoyance creep into his voice. “It wanted to go to temple, so we went to temple.” He moves to walk back into the sanctuary, and Wordgirl – Becky – zips in front of him.

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m missing the service – can we do this after?” He asks, exasperated. “I haven’t seen these people in two weeks because I was in jail.”

“You committed a crime! You wouldn’t have been in jail if you hadn’t!” she says. “And you broke out! I should take you back to jail right now!”

“I haven’t done anything!” He says, and tries to move past her again. She picks him up and zooms him to the end of the hallway. “Becky –”

“It’s Wordgirl,” she says venomously.

Those two words shouldn’t hurt as much as they do. Two-Brains grimaces.

“I just want to attend services,” he says. “I dragged myself all the way here, out of a sense of tradition, or loyalty, or muscle memory, and now I just want to finish services. No heist, no scheme.” He raises his eyebrows. “Is that alright with you, Becky?”

She scowls. It’s always been strange to see Becky’s face twist in anger – he’s known her since she was a happy, super-powered baby– but it’s so much worse to have the scowl directed at him. She looks so much older and angrier than she should.

“You can come in with me if you want,” he says. He doesn’t really want to extend the offer, but he does want to get back to the service. “Keep an eye on me, if it makes you feel better.”

Becky is still glaring, but she gives a sharp nod. “Fine.”

They slip back inside, and Two-Brains knows everyone notices that Wordgirl is in their synagogue, but no one says anything to them. He re-situates himself in his place in the back, and tries to figure out how much he missed.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“What are you saying?” Becky whispers. Two-Brains is caught off guard, and he stumbles over the words.

“It’s Hebrew,” he whispers back, and Becky rolls her eyes.

“Duh. What does it mean?” She presses.

“Just, like, prayer stuff. Hoping for peace and all that jazz,” he answers. People have begun singing, and he jumps in.

“Sounds kind of hypocritical,” Becky mutters. Two-Brains ignores her to finish the song.

“I can hope for peace and not be a hypocrite,” he objects quietly. “I’m just of two minds. One wants peace for people and the other wants a piece of cheese. I’ve reconciled that within myself.”

“That’s a loophole!”

“Yes, it is,” Two-Brains agrees, and holds a finger to his lips. “Now be quiet. The grannies are going to give me an earful after this.”

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“God, it’s so much easier to keep Kosher now that I really only eat cheese. Not that the mouse brain isn’t partly carnivorous – calm down, Squeaky, it’s just a fact – but man, I’d completely mix my meats and cheeses before, and eat all the good stuff the big man upstairs forbid. This cheese-based diet is a life saver.”

Two-Brains is talking as he eats. His temple is never short on cream cheese, and he’s able to put lox on the bagel without Squeaky throwing a fit.

“You used to say that religious dietary restrictions were scientifically foolish,” Becky says with complete confidence. She’s thirteen - the world is still mostly black and white for her, and Two Brains doesn’t fault her for it. She’s a kid.

“Yeah, well science schmience, Steven still felt guilty about it,” he responds. “But now I’m home free.”

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“It’s not easy being a Jew with a mouse brain attached to your head,” Two-Brains says. “Enough people think I’m a rat as is.” He winces as Squeaky barrages him, offended at the word. “The rat part because I’m Jewish, Squeaky, Jesus. Learn to pick up context clues. I know you’re not a rat.”

“That’s…” Becky starts, and trails off. “Are you allowed to say that?”

“If anyone is allowed to, then I am,” he says. “I don’t think anyone else in the world is in this situation.” He gestures at his machine. “So, what do you think?”

“I think you should keep your day job, stand-up just isn’t your calling,” Becky deadpans, and that startles a laugh out of Two-Brains. “The machine is good, Uncle Steven. Even if it is cheese technology.”

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“I hate church. I feel like I’m going to burst into flames,” Two-Brains mutters, and Becky elbows him in the side.

“Uncle Steven never complained,” she whispers back as the priest wraps up his homily. “He just sat there happily.”

Two-Brains snorts. “Becky, I still have his brain. He wasn’t happy, believe you me.”

Becky scowls. “Just be quiet. It’s T.J.’s first communion, it’s important.”

Two-Brains rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything else. He earns another elbow in the ribs when he chooses to sit rather than kneel.

“Steven would –”

“Blah blah blah Steven, I’m not kneeling. Absolutely not,” he says. “End of discussion.”

This is something Steven’s brain has full agency over – Two-Brains despises church. He has cheese in his pocket that he’s trying to discreetly eat, to sate Squeaky. If Becky wasn’t right next to him, he wouldn’t even be discreet – but then again, he wouldn’t be there if Becky hadn’t asked him to be there. T.J. is his nephew, he supposes, but T.J. never got along with him like Becky does.

He can feel his eyes glazing over, and then everyone is standing again. They sing another song – that’s the only non-miserable part of this whole service – and then the priest does something with the crackers and steps forward. People begin to file out into the center aisle, hands folded together.

Becky pokes him. “You shouldn’t have your hands folded,” she whispers. “Cross them over your chest, so the priest knows not to give you communion.”

Two-Brains keeps his hands folded and ignores Becky. She pokes him again.

“Uncle Steven, your arms,” she emphasizes, then demonstrates herself. Two-Brains continues to ignore her. Steven had always been curious about the cracker, but had never had the guts to try to get it. Two-Brains is going to get that cracker.

“You are unbelievable,” Becky hisses.

Two-Brains is able to get the cracker from the priest, and he triumphantly chomps down on it. It’s dry and not very satisfying. He foregoes the wine—the common cup has always grossed him out.

“That was terrible,” he says once they’re seated again. Well, he’s seated. Becky is kneeling. “You know what church needs? A cheese platter. Crackers and wine and cheese.”

Becky ignores him.

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

Becky throws herself onto Dr. Two-Brains’ couch as soon as he lets her in. “I hate boys.”

Two-Brains snorts. “You and me both.”

Becky sits up. “Aren’t you going to ask what’s wrong?”

Two-Brains shrugs. “Do you want me to?”

“Yes! Jeez, why else would I be here except for some sympathy?” Becky throws her hands in the air. “I tried talking to my mom, but she just doesn’t get it. You’re the only person I know who has worse relationships than me.”

“Relationships? You’re twelve,” Two-Brains says. “You’re not in relationships.” His human brain seems to catch up with Becky’s words, and he scowls. “Also, rude. Rude, rude, rude.”

“It’s the truth,” she huffs. “You haven’t dated someone since I was in elementary school.”

Two-Brains crosses his arms. “That wasn’t too long ago, and may I remind you, I have a mouse brain attached to my head. I look twenty years older than I am, and I’m not exactly young.”

Becky waves her hand dismissively. “Whatever.” She rolls over on the couch, looking at Two-Brains expectantly.

“What’s wrong, then?” He asks, taking the hint.

“Tobey! He’s unbearable; I don’t know why he can’t just talk to me like a normal person!” She exclaims.

“Is that the kid with the giant robots?” Two-Brains asks. He vaguely remembers teaming up with him, but he’s never been great at remembering names. Once you knew one twelve-year-old, you knew them all.

“Ugh, yes. Giant robots and a giant pain in my side,” Becky groans. “So, I was wondering, how do you get a boy to stop liking you?”

Two-Brains looks at his niece with his arms folded across his chest. “And, again, you are asking me because…?”

“Well, no one but me really seems to like you all that much,” she says, brutally honest. “Even your henchmen seem to be on the fritz most of the time.”

That stings. Two-Brains keeps the look of genuine hurt of his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Look, Becky, you shouldn’t want to not be liked.”

“I didn’t say that, I just want Tobey not to like me,” she says. “I need you to focus whatever makes you unbearable to be around and tell me how to direct it at him.”

“Okay, okay, okay, can you lay off?” Two-Brains asks. “I don’t need constant reminders that no one really likes me.”

“Except me and my family.”

“Except for you and your family,” Two-Brains amends. “Family doesn’t count, though, because family’s required to love you no matter what.”

——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ——— ———

“I don’t know if I want to go back to being just Steven,” Two-Brains says through gritted teeth. “Becky, you’re very smart. You must understand that I, as a person, should not exist.”

“But –”

“I’m not Steven. I’m your uncle, and I love you, but I’m not Steven,” Two-Brains says. “I’m not Steven or Squeaky, I’m a freak of nature, a combination of both of them, and I don’t know how I could possibly go back to being two separate entities.” A stab of pain hits him hard, and he winces. “Ow, ow, ow, Squeaky, I know, I was agreeing!”

Becky frowns at him. Two-Brains has noticed she’s been doing that more and more. “Don’t you want to be free, though?”

“This is freedom – what part of “shouldn’t exist” didn't you understand?” Two-Brains asks. “And beyond that, being Steven wasn’t being free. I had a set schedule, I had set hours, I worked for the school. I lived and breathed research, mostly on the behalf of someone else. So what if I have an obsession with cheese? Better a –” He cuts himself off, because Becky looks so sad and shocked, and that’s his thirteen-year-old niece who doesn’t know how cruel the world can be. He sighs. “I’m happy like this, even if the mouse brain goes haywire sometimes.”

“Uncle Steven?” Becky asks, and Two-Brains hears the nerves in her voice. “Why do you not think you’re Steven Boxleitner?”

It’s Two-Brains turn to frown. “Because I’m not.”

“But you always talk to the mouse brain like it’s its own entity, and you never talk to the other brain. You talk about his memories like they’re yours,” Becky points out.

Two-Brains doesn’t have an answer for her. “I used to fight with Steven.”

“No, Squeaky used to fight with him,” Becky says. “And then you stabilized.”

“This isn’t stable, this is – I don’t know, I just learned how to deal with it!” Two-Brains says. He realizes he’s raised his voice, and he takes a deep breath to bring himself back down. “I’m the only person who can deal with this mess, because it’s my mental state. I had to learn to deal with it.”

“And now you do?” Becky asks.

“For the most part. I cope. I manage.” Two-Brains sighs, and allows a small grin. “But I’m free.”

#wordgirl #becky botsford #dr two brains #steven boxleitner #bully.txt

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carelessannie · 4 years ago

Text

maybe it goes like this: steve builds his pack (part 1)

Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three

Read on A03

Read the Tony courts Peter wip

Stucky focus (Steve x Bucky)

A sweet, slightly angsty backstory in three parts (ending in Stuckony).

Major warnings: D/S Au, A/B/O Au, Middle/High School Au, talk about family death, public non-sexual submission, steve beats the shit out of some bullies

---

Maybe it goes like this:

Steve can’t remember life with a pack, but knows for certain that his Ma grieves for them. Ever since he was a boy, he would catch his Ma staring at fading photos of strangers, wiping tears from her eyes, and denying it when Steve would ask why do they make you cry.

It’s not until later in his life that Steve learns the truth about pack bonds, about the decision an Alpha makes in life to form a familial or an intimate bond with their packmates. His Ma refuses to let him learn about packs from school, instead sitting him down across the table, like an adult, Steven, and he learns about orientations and secondary genders when he’s nine years old.

His Ma explains the way kids will turn into adults: first establishing their orientation as Dominant, Submissive, or Versatile, and later in high school, presenting as Alpha, Beta or Omega. She threads their fingers together, and asks Steve if he can notice what she is, and he concentrates real hard, trying to decide, as his Ma laughs.

It’s okay, Steven, you won’t be able to tell what other people are until your own body has developed.

Steve nods, pretending like he understands, and asks his mom about her presentation. She gives him a sad— sad? — smile, and says she’s a Submissive Beta.

It’s silent as Steve puts those two things together with the strong, beautiful woman he admires as his Ma, and is still confused. He asks about packs, and Alphas, and what intimate and familial packs are— gaining an amused shake of the head from his Ma.

Why don’t I just tell you about my pack, yes?

Steve nods eagerly, desperate to hear the story of a family he never had,

My pack was intimate, Steven, which means we all loved each other very much and decided to live together. I met my— our Alpha when I was in nursing school, before you were born. She was already mated to two Omegas, and they had been searching for a Beta to join their pack. We fell in love. I met her Omegas, and all four of us were very compatible— do you remember what that means, hun?

Mhm, like when you know you belong with someone even more than anyone else.

Right, good, so we all belonged to each other, understand? We lived in our Alpha’s house, and all of us worked jobs in the city. About a year after joining her pack, I met your Pa. He transferred to the hospital I worked at, and he was also a Beta, like me, but he was Dominant. I introduced him to my pack, and they loved him too. Within a year, we were mated and I had you. Makes sense, Steven?

Yes, Ma. But… What happened to them?

At this, his Ma goes silent, breathing deeply before finishing the story for her son.

Do you remember the difference between packmates and bondmates, Steven?

Um. One is forever, right?

Yes, good, if you are in love or committed to a pack, they are your packmates, whether you are intimate or not. But sometimes, two people, or a whole pack, want to make their relationship last forever, and they become bondmates. All people have the private part of their necks, remember? You have to know, sweetheart, the only way to start a bond is to bite each other there while mating. We’ll wait to talk about mating until you’re in middle school, okay hun?

Yes, Ma.

Good boy. Now. The other important thing about bonding is that it ties your soul to another person’s forever. Any person of any orientation can bond with whoever they’d like, as long as they’re compatible. But you have to know, and this is so important, that once you bond, your souls become one. My whole pack was bonded, but… Daisy… hun, our Alpha died of cancer. She got very sick, and died. And when one bondmate dies, everyone who shares the bond gets sick and dies too.

… Ma, but. Why didn’t you die?

I decided, once I got pregnant with you, that I didn’t want to risk bonding to my pack. Your father and I loved each other so much, and you were the symbol of our love, not a bite. And I’m thankful, sweetheart, because I get to be your Ma and watch you grow up.

Do you miss them, Ma?

Every day, Steven.

Steve doesn’t remember his Ma mentioning her pack again after that day, but he did start to notice that she would get sad a few times a year, around forgotten birthdays and anniversaries. She would spend all of her days working hard to provide for the two of them, and always made sure Steve knew he was loved and valued, even when she denied herself the opportunities to find a new pack.

Looking back, Steve can see that they didn’t have a lot of luxuries or comforts, and definitely didn’t live in the best part of town. He had a few friends in Bushwick, growing up in the nineties it was a poor place to live, but they were perfectly happy to play in the streets during the day, and lock their doors tight at night.

As he ties up his laces, he thinks about his small family and is immeasurably happy. There’s no one he loves more in the world than his Ma. He hates the thought of getting on the bus and driving far away to switch middle schools, but his Ma reassures him that he will love meeting new kids and making new friends.

So he grabs his backpack, tightening the knots holding the straps in place, and hops down the stairs, only sparing one look to his Ma on the front step.

It’s a long bus ride to the school, more than thirty minutes. Over the summer, his Ma found out that the school system wanted him to transfer to a better school because of budget... something and overcrowding—? He’s actually not quite sure why he can’t go back to his old school, but his Ma made it seem like William Alexander Middle School thinks he’s special and has asked for him specifically. So yeah, Steve is really excited.

He’s going into Seventh grade, and gets his own locker, and gets to go to art class.

Steve spends the whole bus ride reviewing the schedule he already has memorized, and comparing it with the school map that his Ma printed for him, tracing his finger around from class to class. Bus to Nurse to Homeroom to Algebra to English to Nurse to Lunch to Gym to Art to Nurse to Bus.

The day passes this way, Steve confidently following his map around the school and taking notes in his small notebook. It’s not until Gym that he gets nervous, remembering his last asthma attack, and hopes the nurse told his gym teacher about his restrictions as he files into the gym and takes a seat on the floor.

“Steve Rogers?”

“Here.”

“No, Steve, I need to talk to you,” Steve looks up and sees his gym teacher, a really large man with a beard, waving him to the front of the class. The other kids turn to whisper to each other as Steve walks forward.

“I— did—”

“Steve, I have a note here from the nurse, saying you cannot participate in most exercises because of your health issues. Because of this, I’m going to suggest you join the sixth grade class, which will go at a better pace for you, and let Mr. Howlett help you further, okay?”

He feels his entire face flush dark red as the other students behind him whisper and laugh. He’s a seventh grader, not a baby sixth grader. He holds eye contact with the gym teacher, folding his arms across his chest, but still grinds out a, “Yes, Sir,” like his Ma would want him to.

“Good, it’s settled. Here, Mr. Howlett has sent James to show you where to go.”

Steve turns to find a small, smiling boy waiting for him at... parade rest? What—

“Alright Stevie, let’s go,” and the boy turns on his heel, marching across the gym as Steve scrambles to keep up.

James slows down slightly, letting Steve catch him, “First things first, my name is James Buchanan Barnes, but most people call me Jamie. I hate it, but it’s better than nothin',” he looks over at Steve, eyeing him up and down, “Second, Mr. Howlett is friends with my dad. You stick with me, and this class will be a breeze, capiche?”

Steve swears his eyes are falling out of his head, and he nods his affirmation.

“Good,” is all Jamie responds with before grabbing his hand, tugging him to join a younger, smaller group of kids in the gym. As they approach, Jamie lifts their hands in triumph, “I found him!”

Feeling betrayed, Steve rips his hand free in embarrassment, but Jamie just smiles wider and pulls him towards their gym teacher, Mr. Howlett.

How this man could be bigger and scarier than the last teacher, Steve doesn’t know, but refuses to hide behind Jamie as they approach, and instead stands up even taller. Mr. Howlett makes a grunting noise, flipping through a few papers on his clipboard, before looking up at the two boys.

“Rogers?”

Before he can respond, Jamie pipes up, “Yeah! Here’s his note from the nurse, and he’s my friend and— and can I help him out? Please?”

It’s pretty clear that Mr. Howlett couldn’t care less either way, but all Steve can see is the raw, eager look in Jamie’s face as he begs their teacher to help Steve.

Huh, he thinks, the only other time I've seen this look is when Ma begs the pharmacist to refill my inhaler prescription when her paycheck's late.

“Whatever, Jamie, just keep outta trouble, ya hear?”

“Yes, sir!” Jamie delivers, with a crisp solute to match, and pulls Steve towards the back of the class.

They settle down, and Jamie keeps holding onto his hand. Steve glances over and sees Jamie quickly look away, suddenly shy.

“Jamie?”

The smaller boy looks over, hopefully, “Yeah, Stevie?”

“Thank you, I didn’t think I’d get a friend on my first day, much less the best one in the school.”

Jamie ducks his head again before turning his brilliant smile in Steve’s direction, and Steve continues before he has a chance to respond, “and Jamie?”

“Yeah, Stevie?”

“I swear, cross my heart, that I’ll find you a better nickname.”

Jamie’s eyes widen, and then he’s laughing, loud and doubled over. He grips harder onto Steve, who can’t help laughing along, even as they get funny looks from the class and a gruff, c’mon, quiet down, from Mr. Howlett.

Shaking his head, Jamie tries to catch his breath as he responds, “ I— I think— I’d love that— Stevie.”

And all Steve can do is smile back.

---

It takes a week for Steve to settle on Bucky, and when Bucky says he loves it, Steve runs all the way home to tell his Ma.

---

Steve and Bucky have Gym class and Lunch together almost every day for a year, and spend the whole summer waiting for their schedules to be mailed, hoping for at least two classes together.

They get their wish.

---

Halfway through eighth grade, Steve gets sent home with a stamped letter from his guidance counselor. For the past few weeks, the guidance counselor has asked him and Bucky to have lunch in her office, and the boys always shrug and agree. Today, after finishing lunch, she hands both boys an official letter for their guardians to discuss with them.

“Whaddaya think’s in it, Stevie?” Bucky asks, squinting at the letter as he holds it up to the light. The boys are heading straight from lunch to the nurse’s office to get Steve’s medicine, like they do every day, and Bucky grips tight to his hand, intertwining their fingers, like he does every day.

“I dunno, Buck. Maybe she’s gonna tell your Ma that you smell and needa bath,” the comment earns Steve a light shove, and an affectionate, “Punk,” in response.

“Jerk,” Steve replies, a reflex, and reaches out to pull Bucky closer, “I wouldn’t worry ‘bout it, Buck. She’s been real nice up ‘til now—”

“Yeah, I know, I just don’t wanna bother my dad if it’s somethin’ bad.”

They fall silent for a moment, both boys knowing how busy and strict Bucky’s dad can be. Steve sees Bucky’s head drop, lost, as he looks at the letter in his small hands. He slows them to a stop, turns Bucky around to face him in the school hallway, and hums in approval as Bucky meets his eyes and slowly tilts his head back. He grabs onto both shoulders, squeezing lightly, and pulls Bucky up close. Fingers tighten in the back of Steve’s shirt as Bucky clings to him, and he nuzzles into his best friend's hair, comforting, while rubbing across his shoulders.

“So sweet, Bucky. There’s no way your dad could be mad at you, alright? Believe me?”

He gazes down into soft, glazed gray eyes, and freezes. Bucky is slightly trembling against him, looking at him like he’s a revelation. Steve feels a calm settle into his bones as he reacts purely on instinct, reaching up to grip Bucky around the neck.

A few things happen in quick succession.

First, Bucky’s eyes roll up into his head, breath leaving his body in a woosh along with a high pitched whimper.

Second, Steve widens his stance, straightening his back, and Bucky sinks, fast, to his knees, gripping onto Steve’s thighs for balance.

And then, out of the haze—

“STEVE ROGERS, YOU RELEASE THAT BOY IMMEDIATELY,” and the trance is broken.

Steve is horrified to see Bucky curled up on the floor, and he stumbles back. Large arms wrap around him, herding him away from—

“STEVIE, no, please—” the voice of his best friend, his Bucky, follows him down the hallway along with small broken cries, and Steve fights hard against the strong arms that hold him,

“C’mon, kid, it’s okay. Just gonna call your Ma and getcha settled,” but Steve doesn’t care.

His boy is back there, somewhere, calling for him, needing him, and he can’t get back, he can’t protect, he can’t save, he can’t— breathe.

---

It’s okay, hun. Shh, sweet boy, it’s okay.

— Sarah, he had Jamie on his knees, submitting—

— no, I don’t think Jamie has stopped crying yet—

— only a few more months, it’ll be fine—

---

Steve wakes in his bed at home, confused.

“B— bucky?”

“Hey, sweetheart,” his Ma pushes past the door, “you up alright?”

He blinks his eyes a few times, disoriented, “Where… what—”

“Shh, hun,” she holds out a glass of water, which Steve takes gratefully,

“Ma, where’s Bucky?”

His Ma looks nervous, and straightens the sheets on the bed, “Steven, Bucky is just fine. How much do you remember about what happened?”

The memories are sticky, “I was just hugging Bucky. He was scared that his dad would be angry about the— oh! The letter from the counselor. Ma, I have an important letter for you. Officially stamped and everything,” his Ma just nods, so he continues, “I dunno, I was hugging Bucky in the hallway, and then something was… different. Like really heavy between us? And all I wanted was to keep him safe, but then… Then they took him, and—”

Steve looks into his Ma’s eyes, suddenly horrified, “I hurt him, didn’t I?”

He must’ve, that would be the only reason they knocked him out and separated him from his— from his—

“No, Steven, not like that. You absolutely did not hurt him,” then what... “You were the perfect Dominant, hun, and it’s not your fault, okay sweetheart?”

“Dominant? Ma…”

“Hush, Steven. I’m going to tell you something important, and you’re going to listen to me,” he nods once, so she continues, “the letter from your counselor was very important, Steven. Remember how boys and girls start to present around your age? Your guidance counselor has been monitoring signs of presentation between you and Bucky, signs that were confirmed today in the hallway. Steven, today you presented as a Dominant, and Bucky submitted to you. Do you know what this means?”

“T— that we’re… compatible?”

His Ma nods solemnly, “Yes, exactly. The doctors are not sure yet if Bucky is Submissive or Versatile, but you are a strong Dominant. My strong boy.”

“But Ma, why was it so bad?”

She sits on the edge of the bed, scooting so that she can pull Steve closer,

“Because, hun, both of you dropped.”

“Dropped...”

Ma hums, finding the words to explain,

“A lot of times, when a Dominant and Submissive are together, they go into a headspace. It’s calm, it feels right and certain and instinctual. Usually a Dominant will take more control, and the Submissive will allow it, naturally. If this doesn’t happen in a safe, private space, or if it’s interrupted, both parties are at risk of dropping. That means you could feel sick, lost, and upset— and even panic or become depressed,”

Exactly like what happened to me, Steve thinks,

“— and with you and Bucky, you both passed out from the stress. That’s why I need to know if you’re okay, Steven,”

It makes sense. Now that Steve knows what to look for, he can easily recognize not only moments where Bucky has submitted easily to him, but also moments where Bucky challenged him and he ended up claiming Bucky’s submission in an argument. His best friend, the boy who fights for him and is always at his side— it’s overwhelming. All Steve wants to know is—

“Ma, please, what happened to my Bucky?”

“Steven, don’t—“

“I need to know—“

“He’s still in a drop, hun.”

Steve swings out of the bed, “How? It’s been hours,” he hears his Ma stutter out something, but feels a resolve settle, “I’ve gotta be with him, Ma.”

“No.”

“But—“

“I said no. His pack is sending me updates, but was very clear that they want you to stay away from Bucky for now. He needs time to recover and understand what’s happened, as do you. And, as your principal recommended, both of you are switching lunch periods and transferring classes, to help reduce the stress of being around each other, is that clear?”

Not even sure he’s heard right past stay away from Bucky, Steve drops back into bed in shock. No more Bucky? He can’t even comprehend what his day would look like without his best friend next to him, and just like that, he’s destroyed one of most important relationships in his life.

Hot, wet tears fall through the night as he wraps around his sheets, wishing he was holding onto a smaller, dark haired boy with crystal blue eyes.

—

There are only two months left until summer, and they feel like two years without Bucky.

Steve cries himself to sleep for the first week.

In the second week, he tries talking to the adults in charge, all of whom give him pity and suggest he’ll get over it and move on.

By the third week, Steve is angry. He snarls at classmates, teachers, anyone who looks at him the wrong way. He gets sent home with a note about his behavior, and his Ma just gives him more useless pity.

During the fourth week, he’s walking the hall to his last period of the day, when he hears a plea for help and the slamming of a door echo from the boy’s bathroom. He runs inside, ready to take down a bully, and sees two eighth graders pinning someone to the bathroom stall. He steps in just as they punch the boy across the jaw,

“Hey assholes, why don’tcha pick on someone your own size?”

The boys whirl around and sneer, dropping the smaller kid in a heap on the ground.

“Look what we have here, a pint sized savior,” the larger of the two smiles wickedly, as he sizes up Steve, and the other one delivers a kick to their initial target for good measure, “Wonder where you got the balls, tiny?”

Steve throws his fists up, and the boys smile even wider, amused. The larger bully lunges for him, suddenly, and Steve absorbs his tackle, trying to roll them around on the floor to get on top. He delivers a well aimed elbow to the guy’s throat, which has him sputtering, and drives his knee down between the kid’s legs, earning him a satisfying howl.

“Yo, kid, it’s okay, c'mon it was just a joke—“

The other boy’s words barely register as Steve lands one, two, three hard right hooks to the bully’s face, before pushing off his chest and standing to his feet. The second kid scoots past Steve, hauling his friend up and escaping out the entrance.

“St— Stevie?”

All of the rage expels from Steve’s body as he turns to find Bucky smiling up at him from the floor where the bullies had dropped him just moments earlier.

He approaches slowly, and notices just how bruised Bucky is, just how tired he looks. Steve catalogs the blood on his face, dark circles under his eyes, possibly dislocated shoulder, and gaunt expression with care, touching as little as possible.

“We should— we should go to the nurse, Buck. It doesn’t look good.”

Bucky nods and attempts to get to his feet, but lets out a weak groan and sinks back down to the floor.

“C’mon, jerk,” Steve teases, trying his best to hide concern and devastation, pulling Bucky back to his feet on his good side, “do I hafta carry ya the whole way?”

There’s a weak laugh that could also be a sob from Bucky, and Steve tries to take more of his weight as they limp towards the nurse’s office.

He feels hopeful after hearing a barely whispered, “Punk,” in return.

---

The nurse lets the two boys cling to each other on the small cot, and proceeds to call both of their packs, asking for both kids to go home early for the day.

Steve glares at the nurse the whole time, knowing that he only has a few precious moments with his best friend before they’re separated again.

“Bucky?”

“Yeah, Stevie?” the younger boy looks up adoringly, “you okay?”

“I’m fine, Buck, how— are you okay?” He does his best to hold back tears that are welling up in his eyes, and enjoys the solid feeling of Bucky, safe and warm in his arms.

Small fingers run over his cheeks, wiping away a few stray tears that had slipped free, and Bucky’s smile just grows, “So much better now, that’s for sure.” He wiggles a bit, and Steve laughs lightly, gripping his friend’s waist tighter.

He leans down, brushing his nose against the shell of Bucky’s ear, and whispers, “Nothing has been the same without you, Bucky.”

A shiver goes through Bucky’s body, Steve feels it by proximity, and Bucky remains silent, until Steve hears one hitched breath, then another. He pulls away slightly, looking into Bucky’s face as the smaller boy dissolves into tears. Bucky pulls himself closer, burying his face in Steve’s neck as great, giant sobs tear him apart. All Steve can do is shush him gently, kiss him on the head, and rock them back and forth, waiting for his Bucky to calm down as the minutes pass in silence.

“I can’t say I’m surprised,”

Steve looks up, turning his body to guard Bucky’s vulnerable one, and sees Bucky’s Beta father and Omega mother standing in the doorway, expressions both shocked and resolved.

“Steve, can you tell us what happened?”

It takes a few minutes for Steve to explain how he saved Bucky, and when he finishes, he watches the Beta and Omega exchange a knowing look, before they take a seat near the nurse’s cot. Neither move to take Bucky away, which is perfectly fine with Steve, who just holds his friend closer. A quick glance gown confirms Bucky has stopped crying and fallen asleep, sniffling lightly.

“We need to talk to you, Steve,” he hears Bucky’s dad call for him, and reluctantly looks up at both of them, noticing the guidance counselor also waiting in the doorway. He nods to allow them to continue,

“I’m afraid we haven’t handled this situation well, son,” Bucky’s dad continues, “and it seems to have hurt both of you boys. I’m sorry, and want you to know we only wanted the best for Jamie.”

“I get it, sir,” Steve shifts slightly, uncomfortable with the sudden attention. “Does this mean I can see Bucky again?”

The Beta leans forward on his seat, making sure to focus on the younger boys, “Yes, Steve, we want you and Jamie to keep being friends, at least until you go to high school next year.”

He can’t even help the relieved sigh and small smile that take over his face, letting his eyes fall shut as he relaxes back onto the bed. Good. He doesn’t even spare a thought for their friendship after middle school, completely convinced that in this moment, him and Bucky will be together, forever.

---

Steve and Bucky fall back into their old routine, classes and lunchtime back to normal, and the news of Steve’s fight spreads like wildfire throughout the school. Both boys find themselves surrounded by new friends, many of whom knew Bucky but hadn’t hung out with Steve before, and he enjoys watching his best friend thrive in newfound popularity.

As summer approaches, Bucky starts talking more about going out for football in eighth grade. Steve always knew he loved sports, and had often encouraged Buck to keep playing baseball when the younger boy would get frustrated, so he naturally pushes his friends to try out. What he isn’t prepared for is how little he sees of Bucky over the summer. He barely notices at first, still seeing Bucky a few days a week, but then he starts to get rain checks on his invitations.

“Sorry, Stevie, rain check— I’m doing drills with the guys all day,”

“Aw man, rain check? I’m at conditioning every day this week and literally can’t get free,”

“Maybe rain check for this weekend? The guys are running plays all day, and I just gotta be there,”

“— you understand, right Stevie?”

And Steve does understand. He decides to give Bucky a little more space, only asking to hang out once a week, if that, and focuses on preparing for high school. He spends more time with his Ma, and she helps him pick out a brand new backpack from Walmart. When he protests, saying his old backpack is just fine, she shakes her head and insists on buying a product that will last. He fills it with notebooks and new pencils and pens and even a pack of colored pencils with a shiny dual sharpener.

It’s a few weeks before school starts that his Ma receives a letter from the school system. He’s decorating the cover of his notebook, laying across their living room floor, when his Ma comes and sits next to him on the floor.

“Steven, I have something to tell you.”

“Okay, Ma, one sec,” he takes a few moments to gather his pencil shavings, packing up his colored pencils, putting them in the correct order, and closing his notebook, stacking everything neatly on top.

“What’s wrong, Ma?”

“Remember when you went into middle school, and the government had to move you to William Alexander because the school closest to us was overcrowded?” Steve nods, he does remember, “Well, they don’t have the same issue with the high school here. So you’re going to be going Bushwick High, which is just a couple blocks away from us.”

“Oh, I thought I was gonna be going to school in Park Slope again, near Bucky?”

“I know, Steven,” his Ma gives a small pat to his head, before standing up and heading for the kitchen, “why don’t we have a snack and talk about it more? They sent a list of classes, and you get to choose electives and everything.”

Steve tries calling Bucky that night, eager to tell him about his news, but just gets the answering machine. He tries two more times that week, and comes up blank.

Within a few weeks, Steve is walking into Brooklyn High, confident and proud, and barely spares a thought about missing his best friend at his side.

#stucky #steve pov #steve x bucky #d/s fic #childhood friends #soft stucky #fluff #minor angst #steve beats the shit out of some bullies #mcu #fanfic #MiGLT #omegaverse

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maaaaarveeeeel · 4 years ago

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Day 1: Mutual Masturbation (Pre Serum Stucky)

So I'm a day late, so two posts today! Here's my first post for Kinktober!

Summary: Steve reflects on how he and Bucky ended up in bed together.

Warnings: Swearing, SMUT (duh), mentions of homophobia, mentions of God, mentions of someone getting beat up and fighting. (If I forgot anything please let me know!)

A/N: Hehehehe, let's see how long I actually do this. I bet I'll make it to the 12th at least! Sorry the keep reading thing isn't there. I'm on mobile.

Here's the prompt I'm using

🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁🛁

When Steve found out Bucky had his first kiss at 13 he wanted to cry, because it wasn't with him. Instead he smiled and patted his friend's shoulder. Three years later when Bucky told him he'd lost his virginity Steve did cry. He sobbed and ran home, slamming his door shut and ignoring his mother's calls.

When Bucky showed up soon after Sarah asked what had happened. After Bucky explained everything Sarah chuckled and sat him down. She told him how Steve has been in love with him since they were little and how he was too scared to ever say anything because of the church and views on gay men. She told him how every night before bed she would tell Steve that there was nothing wrong with what he felt, and any God that would hate someone for who they loved was not a God worth worshipping. How every night Steve said an extra prayer just for Bucky, and asked God to keep him and his family safe. When Bucky bit his lip and his face turned red she grabbed his hand and told him that his mother and her always talked about how special him and Steve were, and how their friendship was one they would always protect and accept.

Bucky sat there for a few moments blinking at her. He knew Steve loved him, as they always told one another, but he never knew Steve had loved him that way. After a while he asked if he could go to Steve's room and see him, Sarah of course let him.

Bucky walked up the stairs and down the hall. When he stopped in front of Steve's door he tried to open it, only to find it locked.

"Steve, let me in."

"Go a-away J-James."

Bucky frowned at this. Steve only called him James when he was mad at him, he also didn't like that he was stuttering.

"Not until you open this door!"

"N-no!"

Bucky jiggled the handle but it was useless, he wasn't getting in. So instead he decided to just lean against the door, figuring Steve would have to come out at some point.

When he heard footsteps on the stairs he smiled when he saw Sarah pull a key out of her apron as she approached him. After she quickly unlocked the door she turned and hurried down the stairs again. Bucky wondered why she was so trusting he wasn't going to beat Steve for the feelings he had for him. Brushing the thought off he swung Steve's door open and barged in.

Steve was curled on his bed with tear stains on his face. He looked up, shocked at the sudden intrusion.

"Wh-"

"Your ma has a master key." Bucky mumbled as he marched across Steve's small room. "And she told me your dirty little secret."

Steve gulped and sat up as he watched Bucky tower above him. He felt tears return to his eyes again and gulped. Bucky had been there for him his whole life, always beat up the bullies that picked on him and, even if Steve would never admit it, finished the fights he started. He tried so hard to bury his feelings, but his mother knew, and now Bucky did too, and he looked mad.

Steve bit his lip and closed his eyes when Bucky grabbed his suspenders and pulled him up. His worst nightmare had come true. Bucky knew and now he hated him and was going to beat him for it. His best friend, the boy he'd been in love with since he could remember. He just hoped Bucky wouldn't tell anyone else, that he'd give Steve that much after their years of friendship. Not that he deserved it, after all, Steve was nothing but a burden to Bucky anyway.

He prepared himself for Bucky's fist, but when it never came he slowly opened his eyes and furrowed his brow when he saw tears running down Bucky's face.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Bucky whispered.

"B-because I th-thought you'd ha-ate me." Steve stuttered as tears ran down his face.

Bucky shook his head. "I could never hate ya Steve. I love you way too much."

Steve's chest twisted at this, like it always did when Bucky said those words to him. Because when Steve said them, they meant something so different.

"Bucky, I-"

"Shut up Stevie." Bucky mumbled as he pulled Steve forward and crashed their lips together.

Steve's eyes went huge and he froze. When Bucky pulled back he studied Steve's face and frowned.

"Shit, that was your first kiss!" Bucky smacked himself in the forehead. "And I ruined it! Steve I'm so sorry. You just looked so sad and scared and like I was gonna hit ya or something and I panicked and-"

"Shut up Bucky." Steve mumbled, grabbing him and pulling him forward until their lips met again.

Bucky blinked a few times before he melted into the kiss. He moved his hands down Steve's side and quickly spun the two and sat. Steve broke the kiss and looked down at Bucky and chuckled.

"You're a jerk James Buchanan Barnes." Steve whispered as Bucky wrapped a hand around the back of Steve's neck.

"And you're a punk Steven Grant Rogers."

After that day the two kept their relationship a secret. Bucky would occasionally take girls out on dates to keep up his "ladies man" reputation and Steve tried to get dates, but the two soon learned girls didn't like him. It didn't bother either.

Their families knew of their relationship and that was it. However, they didn't do anything other than kiss, Steve still being scared he'd damned them for his feelings. Bucky never believed that, but respected Steve and gladly just sat on his or Steve's bed and enjoyed kissing his boyfriend.

After Steve's mother died, when he was 18, the two moved in together, and Bucky greatly appreciated that. He could watch over Steve and be close to him all the time. Steve was still nervous about doing anything more than kissing, but Bucky noticed when Steve would get hard he wouldn't immediately jump off him, instead he'd grind against his leg a little and moan into their kissing. Again, Bucky didn't push or complain, he simply just enjoyed Steve's actions.

So after Steve's 19th birthday when he came to him and told him he wanted to do more, Bucky was shocked. Bucky sat him down and discussed what it was Steve wanted to do exactly. An asthma, panic and stuttering attack later Bucky was smirking and kissing his boyfriend.

And that's how Steve found himself laying

on his back, taking deep breaths as he watched Bucky pull his pants down. In the back of his head he felt what they were doing was still considered wrong, but he pushed those thoughts away. He thought of what his mother use to always tell him. How any God that would hate someone for who they loved was not a God worth worshipping. He believed the God that him and Bucky prayed to loved them and accepted them, even if others didn't.

"Hey," Steve was pulled from his thoughts. He turned his head and saw Bucky staring at him, "we don't have to do this Steve. You know I love you and how we are."

Steve pushed himself up and crossed his legs. "I know Buck, but I want to do this...I mean...if you're okay with it."

Bucky smiled and crawled into the bed and cupped Steve's face. "Of course I am. Now, lay back darling, so we can do this."

Steve nodded and laid down, Bucky following him. The two got comfortable on their backs and smiled at each other. Bucky leaned over and kissed Steve's forehead and chuckled when he saw the blush spread over Steve's cheeks to his ears and down his neck to his chest. Bucky wanted so badly to reach out and rub his hand down Steve's chest, but he held back, not wanting to scare Steve. He figured if Steve was willing to do this it was just a matter of time before he'd want more.

"You sure you don't want me to do it?" Bucky whispered, kissing Steve's shoulder.

"Yes. Just, I want us to watch each other." Steve whispered back.

Bucky nodded and held his hand up to Steve's face. Steve gave him a questioning look and Bucky laughed.

"Will you at least lick my hand so it's your spit I'm using?"

Steve's cock twitched at that and he felt like his heart was going to explode. He took a deep breath and could feel himself turning redder. Nodding his head he grabbed Bucky's hand and brought it to his mouth. Not really sure what to do he started kissing the center, then ran his tongue up until it reached the top of Bucky's middle finger. He closed his eyes then wrapped his lips around Bucky's fingers and took them as deep in his mouth as he could. He started moving them in and out of his mouth, making sure to run his tongue up and down. After doing that a few more times he kissed down Bucky's fingers then ran his tongue from the center of his hand to his thumb and repeated the action there. When he heard Bucky moan he froze and opened his eyes then looked at the other man. Bucky had his other hand wrapped around his cock and was slowly stroking it while watching Steve.

"Fuck Stevie, you going behind my back and sucking guys off?"

Steve quickly pulled Bucky's hand away from his mouth and started to stutter. Before he could get an answer out Bucky just chuckled and wrapped his spit covered hand around Steve's jaw and pulled him in for a kiss.

"It was a joke, your mouth just felt nice on my hand is all."

Steve smiled and nodded. He watched as Bucky switched hands and started to pump himself with the hand Steve had in his mouth. A low groan fell from his lips and he grabbed Steve's thigh.

"Baby, please, touch yourself." Bucky asked looking down at Steve's hard cock.

Steve nodded and slowly wrapped a hand around himself and moved his hand up and down. He bit his lip at the feeling that shot through him. Sure he'd rubbed himself on Bucky a few times, but it felt nothing like this.

"That's it darling," Bucky whispered, squeezing Steve's thigh, "use the precum and speed up. It'll feel better."

Steve nodded, watching Bucky's hand move from the base of his cock to the top and then back down. Steve rubbed his hand over the tip and hissed at the feeling. After taking a deep breath he tried to copy Bucky's movements. He ran his hand up and down his cock at an experimental speed, he started to speed up and squeezed it a bit harder, finding that brought him more pleasure.

"Like how it feels punk?" Bucky asked, watching as Steve spread his legs wider and picked his pace up.

Steve just nodded and watched Bucky run his thumb over the tip of his dick. He copied the movement and let out a loud moan. Bucky chuckled and leaned over and placed a kiss to Steve's cheek.

"You look so beautiful when you're in pleasure like this Steve." Bucky whispered, looking at Steve's face as he made an 'O' shape with his mouth.

"S-so do you, B-b-b-fuck-BUCKY!" Steve yelled as a wave of pleasure hit him and made him arch his back.

"Close Steve?" Bucky asked, feeling his cock twitch at the noise and face Steve made.

Steve turned his face so he could look at Bucky and nodded. Bucky smiled and placed a quick kiss to his lips before looking back down at Steve's hand.

"Sweetheart you've gotta keep moving your hand if you wanna finish."

"I-I can't," Steve panted, "it's too mu-uch."

"Do you want me to-"

"No, I-I can do it. Just...just give me a minute."

Bucky nodded and kissed Steve's shoulder and whispered encouraging things to him. A few minutes later Steve started moving his hand again at a fast pace. He turned his head towards Bucky and smiled when he saw he was doing the same.

"B-buck, I'm-"

"Cum for me darling, I wanna hear ya." Bucky whispered.

Steve moaned and pumped his cock a few more times then stopped as white ropes shot over his chest and hand. Bucky groaned at the sight and moved his hand faster on himself as he watched Steve's chest rise and fall. He watched as Steve's hand slowly moved up his stomach and through his cum. He moved his eyes up and lost it when he saw Steve staring at him with lidded eyes and a sloppy smile.

Bucky sighed and leaned his forehead against Steve's and took a deep breath. "Well, how was it?"

"I liked it." Steve said, moving to sit up. "I just don't like how sticky I am now."

Bucky smirked and rolled over so he was laying between Steve's legs. He chuckled at how red the man's face turned. "Wanna take a bath and maybe try this again?"

Steve smiled at this and ran a hand down Bucky's cheek. "How about we bath, but this time do it to each other?"

Bucky's eyes lit up at this. He jumped off the bed, picked Steve up, then ran to the bathroom, Steve chuckling the whole time.

Tag list: @romaniansweetheart

(If you wanna be tagged let me know 😊)

#stucky #pre serum stucky #pre serum steve #steve rogers #bucky barnes #bucky #homophobia tw #god tw #swearing tw #kinktober

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shewritestheblues · 5 years ago

Text

the Elevator Bae - 13

Chapter Thirteen

Erik Stevens x Black OC (Phoenix)

A/N: This series is almost to its end. I will be ending with Chapter 15. Thank You so much to everyone who has read and shared this story. I adore all of you soooooo much :)

---------------------------------------------------------

How did two months go by so fast? Tour was coming to an end and It was bittersweet for Phoenix. She was able to finally see just how many people enjoyed her music and travel alongside one of her greatest friends but she missed Luna. She missed Erik? That’s been the confusing part. She didn’t really miss him but seeing how he’s been with Luna has warmed her heart. He’s been sending her videos and pictures daily. His bright smile seems to light up her world when she FaceTimes him to see Luna.

The closer she’s been getting to the last performing date, the more her anxiety has been surfacing. Since Erik’s been back, it was dropping Luna off because she had rehearsals and meetings and then tour. (A week during tour, Erik flew in to Detroit for Phoenix to have Luna while she visited family and he was on his way back to LA.) Their only interactions have been for Luna and they were good with that. She was good with that. There wasn’t any time for anything else. But soon, the tour will be over and she’ll be taking some time from work. Will things change? Have they already started to change?

Phoenix knew she was sure that this is what she wanted. For them to only focus on their daughter. All of these thoughts were swimming through her pool of a mind. Currently sitting in her hotel room, reading the comments under Erik’s latest IG upload weren’t helping. He just posted a picture of him and Luna while they were out. He had taken her shopping with him and snapped a picture of them in the dressing room mirror. It was the cutest picture. Luna looked unbothered while looking at the phone through the mirror. This kid had so many moods to be new here. Phoenix’s mom joked that Luna’s been here before.

Phoenix found herself smiling at the caption.

‘Luna ain’t having it with you hoes today.’

Erik’s captions were always… very Erik. And the comments full of women that Phoenix assumed were from Erik’s past or women who dreamed of being a part of his future.

‘She’s beautiful Erik.’

‘I still can’t believe Erik Stevens is somebody’s daddy.’

‘Lol, she’s so cute. Does she need a brother?’

‘Damn E. You make beautiful babies.’

‘Call me, E. 😘’

Phoenix wasn’t jealous. He was single. This was her decision. But sometimes, she hoped he would post something about her. Well, you know, because she is Luna’s mother of course. Maybe a shoutout?

No, no. She caught herself. She didn’t actually need that. Everyone following Erik knew who Luna’s mother was. Phoenix was fine. She. Was. Fine. These feelings? These thoughts? They will pass. So, she exited the app. It was time for rest and rest is definitely what Phoenix needed.

—————

Everything was… okay! Phoenix had worked herself up and things between her and Erik were good. They had the perfect schedule since she’s been back home. Erik would have Luna every other weekend. He’d come over to spend time with her during his ‘off days.’ They’d joke like old times. Even Ava had warmed back up to Erik. Of course things could never be what they used to be but this was a good start to making their situation feel somewhat normal.

“So tell me Phoenix, how has your transition back home been?” Dr. McKee wasted no time. She was eager to hear how Phoenix had been managing on her own.

Phoenix didn’t go back to therapy right away when she came back home. She figured she would take some time to test the waters and see if she would handle things with the methods she’s learned.

Releasing a deep breath, “Everything is good.” Phoenix finally says. “I’m happy.”

A genuine smile grew onto Dr. McKee’s face. “That’s amazing Phoenix. I’m honestly so proud of you.”

“Thanks. I’m proud of myself too.”

“So,” Dr. McKee paused, “What made you want to come in today?”

“I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m supposed to be using this time off to relax but I can’t. I feel like I should be doing something. Too much down time makes me think and when I think, I overthink. When I overthink, I get antsy. Then I feel anxious. Which only leads to a panic attack. I just don’t know what to do with this energy.” Phoenix stops herself to take a deep, calculated breath.

“What are you thinking about?”

“Did I make the right choice— No! I know that I did but…” Phoenix trails off.

“But what?”

“Luna loves him so much. The way she lights up when she sees him. She deserves to be that happy every day. I want her to feel what I feel. I’m happy.”

“Sounds like you’re trying to convince someone of that.”

The way Phoenix rolled her neck, she felt offended. How dare her own therapist insult her like this? Phoenix was happy! She didn’t have to convince anyone. She rolled her eyes at the idea. The nerve of this highly educated woman.

“I’m not trying to upset you Phoenix. I’m just trying to understand.”

“So are you saying I don’t make any sense right now?” Phoenix snapped back.

Cool, calm and collected, Dr. McKee blinks, “I’m not saying that at all. You make perfect sense. I just want you to share as much as you can so we can get to the root of what brought you here today.”

Phoenix closed her eyes and chewed on her lip. She internally chastised herself for being snappy. “It’s just,” she slowly began, “the way he looks at me with those puppy dog eyes. Even when he’s laughing, his eyes are saying something else. Like… he’s trying to slowly drown me. When he looks at me, his eyes linger like they’re trying to get me to catch on to something.”

Phoenix opens her eyes and focuses on the floor. “I’m not changing my mind. He’s always been a smooth operator but unfortunately for him, I know that. He doesn’t get to come around and make me feel guilty for choosing what’s right for my baby.” Phoenix paused. “Our baby.” She whispered that last part.

Dr. McKee takes some notes. She opens her mouth to speak but Phoenix beats her to it.

“I understand. I really do. Erik wants to give Luna the family experience. I want that for her too. But the family we’ve all created for her is fine.”

“I agree, Phoenix. So many of us get caught up in the idea of a traditional family. But family is whoever loves you unconditionally. From what I know, you, Erik, Coby, Ava and the entire tribe you guys have around you love Luna beyond this world. That’s more than enough. You’re a great mom. Great moms make tough decisions every day, but great moms also know each decision is for the greater good of their family.”

Phoenix smiles. It feels good to hear that someone sees you and your hard work and the sacrifices for what they are. Dr. McKee was right. They may not be the traditional family, but Luna is still surrounded by a loving tribe that is unique to her.

“But,” Dr. McKee continues, “you can’t attach yourself to Erik and what he may be feeling about this. You’ve made yourself clear what you wanted. You’re happy and Luna’s happy. There’s no need to ruffle anymore feathers here.”

Dr. McKee turns to her laptop and begins typing away on her keyboard. After a few clicks, she turns to Phoenix again.

“I’ve emailed you a list of things that could help you during your free time. I want you relax and enjoy this time off as best as you can before it’s time to get back to work. You deserve it.”

“I’m going to my best.”

—————

Phoenix wasn’t in a rush to leave the parking lot of Dr. McKee’s office after her session. She sat in her car going over the list in her email.

Ways to Relax Your Brain:

-Workout.

-Take an art class.

-Plant a Garden.

-Read some good books.

-Get out in Nature.

Phoenix wasn’t gifted with a green thumb, so gardening was out of the question. She works out pretty consistently, but it hasn’t worked out with calming her thoughts so that one is scratched off. Art class felt like work and books? She’s read every book that resides in Coby’s house. She was tired of reading. Looks like getting out in Nature would be worth a shot.

She’s always loved the beach but she couldn’t remember the last time she’s been to a beach.

—————

Phoenix found herself in a very familiar spot. A picnic table on the beach, watching the beach goers enjoy themselves. The waves look beautiful as they rolled in onto the sand. The sounds of splashing seemed more soothing than Phoenix ever realized. Time seemed to be passing so slow. Everything in the world has come to a calming pause. Her mind wasn’t racing. Her heart wasn’t pounding. Tranquility was all Phoenix could come up with to describe this feeling. She had no worries, no fears, no anxiety.

The sounds of an ice cream truck moving through the parking lot near her, caught her ear. The thought of eating something sweet without her infant bullying her into sharing seemed like a great win. She stood from her seat and seemingly floated to the truck.

“Hello, what can I get you?” the older man inside the truck said with a contagious smile.

“Um,” she tapped her chin with her index finger, “I’ll go with chocolate on a waffle cone.”

“Coming up.”

Moments later, Phoenix exchanges her money for the ice cream cone and travels back to her spot at the picnic table. She picked up where she left off admiring all that surrounds her. She ate her ice cream with a pleased smile pinching at her cheeks.

The small vibration of her phone pulled her from her trance. Erik is facetiming her. She assumed he was calling to see Luna so she swiped to answer the call.

“Hey, E. I’m not with Luna right now.”

“That’s cool. I called to talk to you.”

“Oh, um, okay. What’s up?” This made her suspicious.

“The Outreach Center will be opening this Friday. We’re doing a whole big thing and uh, I wanted to invite you if you aren’t busy. Shuri told me that if I didn’t call you right now, she would never talk to me again.”

Phoenix was mid bite into her cone and almost dropped it from laughter. “Well, you know I have nothing to do. Tell Shuri that me and Luna will be there.”

“Alright.” Erik paused, eyeing Phoenix’s background through the phone. “Aye! You’re at the beach?”

“Yeah. I just needed a moment. Needed to get out of the house, I guess.”

“Everything’s alright?” His words were soft, genuine.

“Yeah, yeah. Everything is good.”

Erik didn’t believe her. He could tell something was bothering her but he didn’t want to push her. That wasn’t his place. Well not anymore at least.

“Well you know, no matter what, you can always come to me.”

“Yeah, E. I know.”

“Alright, I have some shit to get done before Friday. I’ll let you get back to your me time. I’ll text the details later.”

“K…”

“Kiss my baby for me when you get back home please.”

“I will.”

The call ends and Phoenix is frozen. Erik calls her while she’s sitting in the very spot he’d taken her when he needed to clear his mind. This use to be their spot. Her peace was broken then. Erik was everywhere. Even when he wasn’t there. She looked around and threw in the towel. Her time here was up. She finished her ice cream cone on her walk back to her car. She was ready to get back home to get her daughter.

---------------

The week had flown by. Phoenix was just sitting on Dr. McKee’s couch. She was just at the beach. But now, it was opening day for the Outreach Center. Phoenix couldn’t understand why she was feeling so nervous. She had this gut feeling that something was off. Her and Erik were good. She loved T’Challa, Shuri and Queen Mother and they all adored her. She wrecked her brain trying to come up with an answer.

Phoenix called her mom. She would understand and maybe help her with her feelings.

“Something just doesn’t feel right, Ma.” Phoenix props the phone up on her dresser while she gets Luna dressed.

“That’s your intuition, baby. If you feel like something ain’t right, it’s because something ain’t right.”

“But I don't know what it is. It’s driving insane.”

“The only way to find out is to go and face whatever it is.”

Phoenix finishes dressing Luna. She places her in her bouncer in front of the phone so that Luna can see her grandmother on FaceTime.

“Hey baby girl.” Phoenix’s mom dotes on the bouncing baby. “You’re looking more and more like your grandma everyday.”

Phoenix cuts her eye at the phone. “She looks like her dad.”

Phoenix catches her mom rolling her eyes.

“You can’t hate him forever, Ma. He’s going to be around for a long time.”

“I don’t hate him. I just think he’s stupid. Maybe if he pays for a round trip for me to go to Wakanda, I’ll forgive him.”

“Mom!”

“Those are my terms Phoenix and I ain’t changing them. Ain’t that right Lulu? Tell your stupid ass daddy to send me to Wakanda.”

“Alright Luna,” Phoenix picks Luna up, “Your grandma is on all bullshit today.”

“Hey! What your mouth around my grandbaby.”

In disbelief, Phoenix looks at the camera, “But you just said a bad word.”

“Ass isn’t a bad word.”

“Okay, ma. Whatever you say. We have to go so I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Alright. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

----------------

Phoenix was roaming the large, empty halls of the Outreach Center. She had been inside multiple times while dropping off Luna to Erik or picking her up. She had checked Erik’s office, looking for him but he was nowhere to be found. She was making her way back outside when she sees Shuri.

“Shuri!” Phoenix stops her, “Have you seen Erik?”

“Philly! I’m so happy you’re here.” She pulls Phoenix into a tight hug. Phoenix embraces her back and their body’s rock. “I missed you. Hey Lulu.” Shuri adds pinching Luna’s chubby cheeks.

“I told you that you can over whenever.” Phoenix adjusts Luna on her hip. Luna was getting heavier every day.

Before Shuri could respond, she looks up and sees Erik walking straight toward them. “Oh there’s the little T-Rex.” She points in the direction of Erik.

When Phoenix turns around, Erik is walking with that famous dip. His dreads are back into a ponytail and he’s sporting a navy blue suit that’s tailored to perfection. He’s always had great style. The smile on Phoenix’s face slowly began to drop when she noticed the tall, curvy, well dressed woman walking alongside Erik. That uneasy feeling she felt when she was home crept up from her stomach and settled in her chest. She tried to control her breathing before it picked up. She wouldn’t allow herself to get worked up before knowing what was going on.

“There you are. Philly was looking for you.” Shuri says. She turns to Phoenix, “Come find me later. We have so much to catch up on.” Shuri walks off.

Phoenix isn’t sure what she’s supposed to do. She awkwardly stands there looking around to avoid looking at the woman standing next to Erik.

“Hey, Phoenix,” Erik grabs her attention and motions to the mystery woman. “This is Alicia. Alicia, this is Phoenix.”

Alicia sticks her hand out and shakes Phoenix’s hand. “Oh my goodness, you’re Phoenix? I’ve heard so much about you. Hey Lulu.” Alicia rubs her thumb on Luna’s arm.

Lulu? The only people who calls her Lulu are people who are close to her. It’s obvious that this woman has been around Luna a great deal.

“Oh…Hm. It’s nice to meet you.”

Her eyes bounce between Alicia and Erik a few times before they lock in with Erik’s. She can’t read him. These are not the same eyes he usually looks at her with. He licks his lips. This woman isn’t just a random woman that Erik decided to introduce to her. Something was up between the two of them.

Luna throws her body backwards trying to get to her dad. Erik scoops her up with one quick motion, taking her from Phoenix. He peppers kisses all over her cheeks before checking his watch. “We’re gonna miss the opening ceremony. We should get outside.”

“You guys go ahead.” Alicia says, “I have to use the lady’s room. I’ll catch up.”

“Okay. You know where to find me.” Erik says with a smirk. Alicia places a hand on his arm and walks off toward the restroom.

Erik and Phoenix began the journey outside to watch T’Challa give the opening ceremony speech. As they approached the big door that led out, Phoenix looked to Erik. “She seems nice.”

“She is.” Erik tries to bite back his smile.

“Good. You need someone nice.”

Erik stops walking. He was stunned by her words. How did she manage to put those pieces together? His words got caught and he struggled with a response. Phoenix picked up on his struggles.

“She called Luna, Lulu. That told me everything, Erik.”

He caught on. “I wanted to tell you before now, but I didn’t really know how.”

“It’s fine. As long as she makes you happy, there’s nothing to talk about. Things may not have worked out with us but I can see that you’re a better man. Someone should get to experience that.”

Phoenix doesn’t stick around to hear how he may react. She walks ahead leaving him and Luna and goes outside. Erik stood there processing her words. Alicia catches up to him. She could see that something had shaken him up.

“Erik, is everything okay?” her eyes searched him for any kind of answer. “Did something happen with Phoenix?”

He finally looks at her, “No, nothing happened. She just, uh, she thinks you’re nice.” A single dimple appearing.

A small smile forms on Alicia’s face. “So does this mean that I’m Phoenix approved?”

They laugh. He steps closer to her and plants a kiss on her lips. Alicia’s face goes red. “Not in front of Luna.” she plays.

Erik opens the door for them and they walk out just in time as T’Challa takes the stage.

As the day progressed, Erik was talking to so many people. He found himself explaining different parts of the Outreach Center over and over but he didn’t complain. Alicia stayed by his side, mingling while Luna bounced around between the two of them and Queen Mother. It wasn’t until T’Challa pulled Erik aside to ask where Phoenix was that Erik realized that he hadn’t seen her since their exchange. His eyes searched through the crowd hoping to see her somewhere. To his disappointment, she was nowhere to be found.

He texted her.

Erik: Hey, Philly. Where did you go?

Time passed and he never received a text back.

Phoenix’s thumbs hovered over her keyboard but she just couldn’t find it in her to say anything back. When Erik didn’t come outside for the ceremony right after her, she snuck out and left. Luna was in good hands and she just couldn’t stick around. She meant what she said. She really did see Erk for the better man that he had become. He was an amazing person and even more amazing father. It wouldn’t be fair for her to want him to not move on. Again, she reminded herself that this was best.

“Philly. Come get your glass.” Mica yelled from the kitchen.

When Phoenix got back home, she told Ava what had happened and Ava called Mica and Camren over for girl talk and wine. They were all between their third and fourth cups. Hours had gone by and Phoenix still couldn’t text Erik back. She just says “fuck it,” and tossed her phone on the couch and heads into the kitchen for her refill.

When Phoenix gets a hold of her assigned wine glass, she downs it in seconds. Her friends watch on in shock.

“Damn Philly, calm down.” Camren says.

“I’m grown, Camren. You don’t have to tell me how to drink some weak ass wine.”

Mica clutches her pearls. This isn’t like Phoenix at all.

“What’s wrong with you?” Ava asks. “Is this about Erik?”

Phoenix throws daggers at Ava with her heavy eyes. “Everything ain’t about Erik. I’m good.”

“You’re not acting good.” Mica adds.

Phoenix begins filling her glass up again. “Well since yall just know me so well, how am I acting if I’m not acting like I’m good?”

Ava snatches Phoenix’s glass. “You’re acting like you’re trying to drink your problems away.”

“I don’t have any problems to drink away. If I did, I’d be killing off something way stronger than wine.” she reaches for her glass but Ava pulls away.

“It’s obvious that this Erik shit is bothering you, sis.” Ava says.

Camren and Mica both nod in agreement.

Phoenix slams her hands down on the island counter. “Yo, fuck Erik. I don’t give a shit about what that man is doing. He’s moved on. He’s happy. I’m happy. Why are y’all holding on to this shit?”

“You’re holding on to it.” Ava yells. She’s fed up with Phoenix’s rudeness.

The gloss appearing over Phoenix’s eyes alerted her friends that she was struggling to hold back her tears. Ava reaches for her but Phoenix pulls away. She looks off at nothing when a few tears escape and flow down her cheeks. Her lips shake and she wraps her arms around herself.

“I don’t get why you’re torturing yourself. You clearly still love him.” Mica says.

“Yes!,” she aggressively wipes tears from her cheeks, “I still fucking love him, but this love ain’t mean shit. He doesn’t get to do this. He can’t just pop back up after all of this and have his life back like nothing happened.

“So,” Camren hesitates for a moment. “You’re punishing him?”

“I’m protecting myself.”

Ava steps closer to Phoenix in a nurturing way. “No, you are punishing him and yourself. Look at you. I hate what his stupid ass did just as much as you. But she’s right. We’re right. You're torturing yourself while trying to prove a point.”

“No I’m not!”

“You keep saying that he can’t do this.” Mica joins in again. “That he can’t just come back. But you can’t just pretend like you don’t care. It’s not fair to either of you.”

Phoenix doesn’t respond. She’s listening but she wishes that she wasn’t. They were right and she wishes they weren’t.

Camren breaks the silence. “We’re not trying to hurt your feelings Philly or piss you off in any way, but you can’t be hurt that he’s moving on when you’re the one that told him to.”

Mica interrupts, “So, either you can move on too or tell him how you really feel.”

The group of women notices Phoenix’s lack of responses. She’s in shut down mode. They didn’t want that but they couldn’t sit back and not tell their friend the truth about herself. Phoenix finally gets her hands on her abandoned glass of wine on the counter and downs it before silently walking away from her friends. She goes upstairs to her room. They give each other knowing looks. They would give her some time and they’ll go up to console her. Moments pass and they all suddenly hear the front door slam, scaring them. When the women rush to the door, they barely catch Phoenix just as she is nearing the end of the driveway.

Ava runs out toward the reversing car but Phoenix quickly shifts the car into drive and drives off.

“Fuck!” Ava yells. “We have to get Coby.”

#the elevator bae #erik killmonger x black oc #Erik Killmonger #Erik Stevens #erik x phoenix #erik x luna #shaebewriting

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