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unioncolours · 5 days

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The 5th Majsasaurus Year

Today is the 22nd of September, 2024. As per tradition, I have written a reflection of the year that has passed since September 22nd 2023, a public diary entry of sorts. Not only is Sept 22nd Shikamaru’s birthday, but also Majsasaurus as a member of the Naruto fandom’s birthday as well. This date marks five years since I posted my first fic in the Naruto fandom. You can read my first reflection from 2020 here, the second from 2021 here, the third from 2022 here, and the fourth from 2023 here.

It's been five years guys! Half a decade of making a fool out of myself online!

I have to be honest, this year has not been the best when it comes to fandom. While not as depressing as the worst year of 2021, it’s been challenging for sure. Before I go into this year and personally reflects all its quirks and events, I’ll start by introducing my nickname that’s been used on me online; Bex.

When I got social in the Shikatema fandom spheres back in late 2019 I asked people to call me a different name, a name I chose. My back then friends said the name I chose was too long and didn’t want to call me that, so they gave me the name Bex. I accepted the nickname without whining, because there I was, new in a server, and I just followed their lead. So I became Bex online. This is important for later, hence why I told this backstory.

And now onto the fifth year of being this persona online. Keep reading if you’re interested in my year.

I finished my last review of my year by announcing to you, my followers and friends, that I was expecting a child, a theme which was very visible in the fic I published 23rd of September 2023, we hold galaxies.

Since I knew that I’d obviously would have to cut down my time spent online very drastically after my baby would be born, I planned to write one more Shikajin fic with the aim of it being around 30k long, hoped to publish it in December and then be on a longer break. However, it’s… not always that easy being pregnant haha! What I didn’t realise then but realised later was that I suffered from brain fog and that made writing challenging.

What did cherish my days was that dear SpicedGold, who I for a longer while have been close to, sent me a giftbox literally from across the globe. In that giftbox she included two homemade plushies, one of Inojin and one of Shikadai and I had never been so surprised in my life. Now two plushies of them is decorating my shelf above my computer by which I write fics! My friend @clumsydragon28sent me from another corner across the globe another gift box to me as a Christmas gift, where I got even more plushies! Those were of Rowlet from Pokémon and Fyodor from BSD and both plushies decorate my living room. The gifts were truly cherished.

However, because I had rather forcefully decided that I WILL write a final pre-motherhood fic and had a deadline if I wanted it published before my baby was born, it meant I stuck with the first idea I had that sounded mediocrely interesting. Yeah, I should not have forced myself at that point, but wanted to go on a break with a bang and wanted to give my readers something to chew on before giving birth.

And I had very strong faith in myself that I could make it.

For months I battled through writing a plotline my heart didn’t love and my due date got closer and closer and all I could see was plot holes and words that refused to form. I realised 30k would not be enough for whatever I was cooking, and I had now strayed very far from my original plan.

I started to procrastinate and, because I had gained 60 user subscribers on AO3 (if you’re one of them, thank you so much), I decided to host a silly bingo with prompts. I received a few prompt-asks and wrote mini fics for them, all around 600-800 words. It was a wonderful way of procrastinating. You can read my mini fics here: Jinchuuriki Temari part one and two, TemaTen modern au, a fluffy Shikatema, and a Witcher AU.

Not even when my maternity leave had begun before the due date had I made any significant dent in my primary fic and I failed my quest to publish it, even if I by then had a good idea of what to do of the story.

After my child was born and when I had healed form the birth the brain fog vanished immediately. With zero sleep and a tired body I once more had a vision for my fic, and I banged through the rest of it like a madwoman. I had inspiration once more!

TERRORISE, the Shikajin fic, was published at the end of March 2024 and ended being 56k long. It is definitely not my best fic by any means, and there are at least two or even three places where I know I could have added a subplot to up the word count to my trustworthy 90-something thousand words to make a deeper and more profound story, but at that season of my life I could not write a better story than what TERRORISE ended up being. The missing subplots were the lie Inojin told, and Chocho and Sarada’s common backstory, which were only mentioned and alluded to, but not explored like they could to have made a better story. The final chapter was published by the beginning of May, and I have not re-read anything of it.

I had already decided before my baby was born that my project when they were here would be to re-edit To go down with the Sun, my first long fic from 2019. I had often thought about re-editing it finally, since before 2019 I had never written something vast that in English before. That meant my fics at the beginning of my career had language errors that I couldn’t see then, but now was aware of. I started re-editing in May, thinking I would change and add to a good amount of scenes, but in the end, I only added a little bit to one scene aside from correcting and re-editing the rest, which honestly surprised me, even if I so boldly stated in my previous official diary post that there would not be anything to correct. That my bold claims were true did surprise me after all.

Beside that I also added more scenes to three chapters from no one cries for unknown soldiers, my Shikatema WWII fic from 2022, just because I could and I had wanted to do it for a longer while, since that fic would have benefited from having a longer editing period than what I allowed it to have two years ago. So I did! It was fun and lovely to dive back into one of my favourite projects of all of my time in fandom.

In the middle of re-editing Sun I was struck by very sudden and intense inspiration to write about Saiino. In my ‘giving birth’-projection fic with Temari I waxed poetics about the wonders (and horrors) of biology when it comes to childbirth and ended the fic on a very powerful and positive note, but now felt inclined to write a fic which featured a mother who did not have a wonderful start of her motherhood and who fell ill to postpartum depression instead of having a lovely baby bubble.

As if possessed I smashed on my keyboard and crunched to get the fic done in time for Mother’s Day 2024. I made it, and the Ino-centric fic to grow a bed of flowers was published late that evening. I even rushed my ending a bit to make it but even with a rushed ending the entire atmosphere of the piece of so bittersweet and lovely! Postpartum depression is also such a hidden or even taboo topic that I think it was very needed in our fandom to have a description of that.

I could then go back to To go down with the Sun, and I had even commissioned the skilled and wonderful @keijidraws to make a poster for the fic, which I felt like that fic deserved. Over these five years that has passed since I wrote the first words of this fic (if my memory isn’t failing me, I think it was 10th of October 2019 I started writing Sun), To go down with the Sun has given me so, so much. My most kudos and hits, many friends, online crushes, *fans* even if I dare to call them that, soulmates, it all, all started from that fic. It deserved getting reborn and loved again. It was a rather easy job banging through published chapters and just edit them. I had finished everything the final week of May and was really proud.

By the beginning of June I was planning to write an InoTema fic, and was musing between two different settings and plots when I learned that the way I was perceived in what was part of my fandom circle was not a positive one and, being my own fault for how I behaved or was, or not, it affected me badly. Being online caused me panic attacks, I got problems with my sleep, and I had nightmares. And because of that I started to hate the person I was online. I hated Bex and I hated Majsasaurus. I hated the way I was that had led to me being perceived that way and if I hadn’t known better and counted down from ten, I would have nuked myself off the internet out of shame and hatred.

I would have deleted this tumblr you are reading this post from. I would even have deleted my discord server I have loved and nurtured since 2021 without the blessings of the other mods, just nuked it, leaving them shocked and detached from the group of friends we had. I would have ruined it all. I would have deleted everything but my fics on AO3. No, deleted wouldn’t have been enough, in my hatred for my own persona, for Bex, this person that was given to me all those years ago, I wanted to kill her.

I constantly planned suicide letters in my head to post here online. Not killing myself in real life of course, but online. And killing Bex would mean to kill my love for Naruto the series and ShikaTema and Shikajin. How does one kill a hyperfixation?

I started working on it, on killing her. I created a new tumblr and a new nickname and logged out of this one. I hid my twitter account. I decided to never write a Naruto fic again. As you can see, it got very bad very fast. Some of you might think I overreacted at words on a screen and that it all was my own damn fault and I should have reacted or gone about it differently, but it just got like this.

The entire month of June and July I spent in darkness when it came to fandom. It felt like Shikajin would be the only thing keeping me tied to Naruto again and in a desperate attempt to cheer myself up I began editing To dance above the Stars, the sequel to To go down with the Sun, and my true favourite out of the trilogy it belongs to. To try to force myself to not give up, I asked my dear friend Soverel6 if she wanted to make me a poster and she happily agreed, without knowing I was one click away from deleting myself away from her.

Then I began editing sometimes in June. I thought the fic sucked when I re-read it this time around and rather than adding, deleted a lot of the content. Most of the content I deleted was unnecessary preaching for a cause I ran in the fic, and I toned down that theme a lot. After 4 chapters I was ready to give up, to just not bother anymore with this fandom crap and leave for good, when Soverel6 surprised me with an almost finished poster. For her sake, I could not give up. I could not fail the trust she had in me, and I kept fighting for my joy within the little world of the fic.

After a month of sulking and feeling awful I managed to once more spew fun ideas for @notquitejiraiya's sequel fic to her masterpiece Grandmaster, which we jokingly call GMJ (the real name is Piano Man haha). SpicedGold also got to know I was feeling bad and to cheer me up started writing the sequel, When Waterlilies Waken, to the fic that originally made us friends, Let Wildflowers Grow Free. I felt so honoured she got around to do this, after me talking (pestering her) about a potential sequel for a long time. During this time I had reached my favourite parts of the fic, To dance above the Stars, I was editing, and thanks to the support I received from friends when talking about it I finally managed to find it fun to work with a fic again. I was still greatly offline from Naruto spheres, and when I sometimes logged into this tumblr just to check I was very careful to never reblog anything and often logged out again with a pending panic attack.

I uploaded the edited chapter of To dance above the Stars onto AO3 when it was finished in August along with Soverel6’s poster and finally dared to show my face on twitter again. Twitter felt safer than tumblr for some reason.

By this time, two months since I began hating being part of this fandom, I finally started feeling hope again. I decided that, before taking the ultimate decision to actually leave, I must write one final long fic of ShikaTema. I mused different prompts, all of them long and angsty and bloody of course per my brand and what I love to write the most. I mused different plots and it was between yet another historical au which would take place during WWI, another historical au which would take place during the 1700s and focus on witch-hunting, or a fantasy au which would be my Witcher AU, which I have mused for a bit and am really fond of.

I decided in the end to attempt at the Witcher AU.

However, I didn’t start writing it, and started writing this text instead already in late August. Then, after knowing I had received so much love on the WWII-au from 2022, one of my best fics to be honest, in the spur of the moment I decided that I will record the entire fic as a podfic. I begged my dear friend Becks to make me a new poster for the fic’s re-launching as a podfic and since she luckily agreed, I promised myself to do it. I, Bex, would try something completely new! And dauting. And tough. Recording wasn’t a problem in itself, I love reading things out loud, but the chapters were longer than I thought when reading out loud, and the software I downloaded for the editing was not as easy to manoeuvre as I predicted.

Then the fatigue hit again. I got stuck. I have not given up and I will finish it, but the deadline is maybe by 2025, haha.

When I got stuck with recording myself, I managed to scrape together a will to finally, after three months of practically deciding to never write any fic ever again, write a one shot. That one shot ended up being a second chapter to we hold galaxies, my projection fic I published exactly a year ago on Shikadai’s birthday 2023. I first thought of making it a one shot, but ultimately decided to add it as a chapter instead, and I was pretty satisfied with how it ended up being.

Now I am facing what to do next. I still had that promise of a long ShikaTema fic, but the Witcher AU didn’t feel as good as it once did. The hype inside me waned at the same time as new ideas spurred. New ideas. Did you hear that, “new ideas”? That is the sound of me almost being healed from the intense hatred I felt towards my Naruto online persona during the summer.

One of the new ideas is for example connected to Inojin’s canon fate in Boruto the manga, during which chapter he ‘died’ I was not feeling good. I was already trying to strangle my love for him and then he DIED on me. I cried. Yeah, no, judge all you want, but I was not exactly mentally stable enough to witness that. Now, however, I am luckily having fun with engaging with canon once more, since Inojin survived, and we got some good food from the chapters. I had fun in my safe space with other people who were engaged with his fate.

I am now brooding an intense and angsty Shikatema canonverse long fic. Canonverse! It’s almost like going back in time to when I thought I only could (and wanted) to write canonverse, back in 2020 and 2021. I also have a wlw idea again, after deciding to trash all the InoTema ideas that were ruined due to my anxiety in June, so it feels… normal again. It feels like I normally feel like in fandom, in a place where my imagination can run free and I can be the antithesis of a dude bro: the silly bean sister.

I find it ironic how I every year say I have learned to deal with fandom grief, but this year proved once more that I will never learn. But I think I will have to learn to accept that I won't learn.

Now we are here again, at the 22nd of September. Five years has passed since I uploaded the first chapter to my first fic, and I have 950 000 words uploaded on AO3. Earlier this year I promised myself to beat the delicious one million word count before 2025, and I know I realistically still can do it if I start writing tomorrow and stick to it.

But I will not retire until I have that sweet one million words on AO3. It would be too much of a failure to do so. So, dear sixty something subscribers, followers and other lurkers, expect at least 50k more of Majsasaurus fic in the future.

And yes, you can call me Bex. I don’t want to kill her anymore. I asked her forgiveness for being so angry, especially when I proudly bought a Temari Funko figurine in September. I don’t think I can kill this hyperfixation just yet. I don’t think I even want to kill it.

I can, with confidence, say, that there will be a 6th Majsasaurus Year in 2025, at least in some capacity.

Thank you to those who stopped me from deleting everything.

Majsasaurus Bex

#majsasaurus

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anime-fixation · 11 months

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Hello I wrote a BSD fanfic! Check it out if its something you’re into.

Don’t wake the Demon Prodigy

Read: part 2 and part 3

Dazai’s forced to watch Chuuya almost die from corruption. The demon prodigy takes it out on the man that caused it.

Unfortunately, Atsushi has to see the outcome of what happens when the demon prodigy comes out.

(Rated mature for violence)

Word count: 1842

Rating: M

Read on AO3

“CHUUYA!” Dazai cried out. “ CHUUYA!”

Dazai knew it wouldn’t work, he had to touch the man not just call his name, but he had to try. He watched his ex-partner fly across the sky, his body very clearly deteriorating the longer corruption was used. The enemy he activated corruption for had disappeared when the man grabbed Dazai, proving it was just an illusion made with a similar ability to Tanizaki’s Light Snow. Dazai didn’t know how he managed to not see that, a simple mistake that he was now forced to watch the outcome of. Chuuya, stuck in his corrupted form and with no enemy to face, was now destroying anything in sight.

“LET ME GO!” Dazai struggled against the man holding him in place, which was easy as the man was twice his size. Dazai felt the sharp tip of a blade begin to be held to his back, causing him to still.

“Quit struggling. You have no choice but to watch this.” The man growled into Dazai’s ear.

A blood trail was starting to flow behind Chuuya. Dazai could only watch in horror.

“It's been too long,” Dazai said to himself. He started struggling harder against the man’s arm around his shoulders. While he struggled the knife’s tip started to dig into his back. “He’s going to die!”

“That’s the plan. Seemed like the easiest way to take care of someone so powerful, let him kill himself” the man interrupted from behind him, the joy evident in his voice. Dazai stilled, he played with the idea that killing chuuya could've been the true motive for this gentleman but he didn’t want to believe it.

Dazai, in sheer panic to save his ex-partner, threw himself backwards. The knife pierced his flesh and lodged itself deep inside the side of the brunette. Dazai let out a cry but continued on, slamming his head back into the other man’s. The sudden attack shocked the man causing him to loosen his grip for a moment.

Dazai took this opportunity to take off running, barely avoiding a ball of gravity that whizzed by his head. Creating a small crater in between him and the enemy, allowing Dazai to get away much easier.

“Chuuya!” The smaller man didn’t stop when Dazai called his name. Dazai continued to run closer to his ex-partner. The deterioration of Chuuya’s body was evident with how pale the red head was becoming, his fair skin standing out against the red markings covering his skin from corruption.

Chuuya's corrupted form dipped low enough that Dazai could jump and grab the mafioso’s leg. Slipping his fingers under the hem of his pants to find flesh. As soon as Dazai’s skin touched Chuuya's, the markings disappeared and Chuuya dropped from the sky. Falling hard on his hands and knees once he hit the ground. Chuuya vomited up a stream of blood, before passing out in the grass.

Dazai ran over to his ex-partner’s body. He checked to make sure the red head was breathing. He was.

Knowing his ex-partner was alive, Dazai turned on his heels to face the man that was just forcing him to watch Chuuya almost die.

“You almost killed my least favorite partner,” Dazai's eyes were swirling with a darkness that very few had seen since Dazai left the mafia. With the glow from the moon backlighting his menacing frame, Dazai took a few steps closer to his new target, “You must remember, from all your intel, that they used to call me the demon prodigy,”

“Oh I know. But I also know who you are now. So, I know you don’t kill like you used to.” The man yelled back, cocky enough he was sure Dazai wasn’t really planning on killing him.

Dazai finished approaching the man. Glaring at him for a moment. With no hesitation the demon prodigy stomped on the man’s ankle, a sharp snap rang out into the night. The man screamed at the pain. The screams were soon paired with Dazai’s laughter.

“I was the youngest executive in the port mafia. I was feared by many. You think I would just forget how to torture and murder those who cross me,” Dazai grabbed the man’s head looking him in eye as he slammed his foot down on the man’s other ankle. Again, the snap of bone was followed by screaming and Dazai’s laughter.

“Now you can’t get away,” Dazai’s smile grew as he watched the man’s eyes fill with fear.

“Your partner isn’t dead, I’m sure we can figure something out that doesn't include killing me,” The man pleaded.

“I see, you now understand the situation you’ve put yourself in,” Dazai stood up straight as he talked. His hand slipped around to his side, pulling the knife free from his body without even so much as a flinching. He bent back down now holding the bloody blade up in front of his enemy. “Do you know where all of your organs are?”

The man shook his head no.

“I’ll be happy to show you,” Dazai’s tone was far more joyous than an average person’s would be in this situation. He brought the blade down to the center of the man's torso. Slicing deep down the man's chest. The skin split open and a flash of white could be seen before blood started to spill from the wound.

“Now that wasn’t an organ… but it is still nice to see bones. The sternum in fact, your ribs attach to it, don't you know,” Dazai couldn't hide the excitement in his voice. “Bones are fun, but like I said, I want to show you your organs.”

The wicked smile never left Dazais face. He sliced fast and deep down the man’s side. Blood started spilling out, slowed only by soft pink insides beginning to protrude out of the wound, plugging the slash up like some fucked up cork.

“This-,” Dazai started, pulling at the flesh with the back of the knife, “is just some intestines. Fun but not that exciting. Those tend to spill out first.”

Dazai pulled more out from the wound seeing how far he could pull it. The man on the ground writhed in pain, fear evident on his face.

“I want something cooler,” Dazai dropped the organ from the tip of the knife. He then dragged the knife over the man’s skin to a different location. Slashing quickly, cutting up the man's lower stomach. “Now what can we find in here?”

Dazai stuck his hand in the man's wound, grabbing something soft and pulling it part of the way out. His face lit up, “A liver!”

Dazai’s excitement matched that of a child getting a new toy. The man on the ground was hyperventilating and growing pale.

“I’m sorry, please just kill me,” The man tried to plead with the psychotic man torturing him.

“I don’t think so. You let Chuuya suffer for much longer than this,” Dazai sliced through the man’s thigh. A chunk of flesh peeled off and started to fall, Dazai didn’t let it hit the ground before he grabbed it. He stuffed the chunk of flesh into the slash on the man's side, pushing the intestines back in as he did so, “Should pry stop some of the bleeding if I want this to last longer,”

Dazai sat back on his heels. He trailed the blade around the man’s torso. A thin trail of blood following the knife like the trail a snail leaves. “What should I show you next?”

The man didn’t have time to answer.

Instead, a small weak voice broke Dazai out of current state, “Dazai… quit playing around,”

Dazai’s eyes widened and the darkness immediately disappeared from behind them, “Chuuya!”

With one swift motion Dazai stuck the knife deep in the man’s throat, killing him, before turning and running to Chuuya.

“I told you a long time ago to stop playing with corpses,” Chuuya muttered out.

“He was not yet a corpse, so I don’t think that applies,” Dazai clarified.

Chuuya sighed, too exhausted to argue, “That’s worse. Just call someone to get us out of here,”

The noise of a helicopter overhead made the two men look up.

“Perfect timing,” Dazai cried out.

Akutagawa and Atsushi jumped from the helicopter. Atsushi landed on the ground with a soft thud. Atukagawa was lowered down by Rashomon.

“What happened here?” Atsushi asked, looking around at all of the destruction.

“Well you see Chuuya was tricked into using corruption and I had to come and save him,” Dazai said, simplifying the situation. Chuuya looks like he was about to argue before Aktugawa grabbed everyone’s attention.

Akutagawa nodded his head in the direction of the mutilated corpse, “He dead?”

“You bet!” Dazai said with a bit too much excitement.

“What… happened to him?” Atsushi asked, looking terrified at how mangled the man was.

Dazai and Chuuya remained silent as the question hung in the air.

“Atsushi, you never met the demon prodigy.” Akutagawa stated, not minding breaking the news to Atsushi. “That’s his work.”

“Wait… but… isn’t that…” Atsushi looked at his mentor in horror, “you did that?”

Dazai shrugged. “We should pry get out of here and get Chuuya to a doctor. Oh and myself.”

Dazai tries changing the topic to avoid answering the question, turning to the side showing the blood seeping from the stab wound that was long forgotten about.

“I agree,” Chuuya hollered from the ground, blood still dripping from his mouth.

Atsushi just stared at Dazai, not moving a muscle.

Dazai let out a dramatic sigh, “Yes I did that. I lost control for a moment. Give a guy a break, I just had to waste so much time and energy saving a slug from dying. I wanted to have a bit of fun.”

“Oh,” Atsushi looked a bit afraid of the brunette by the end of Dazai’s crude explanation.

“It’s not something that happens often. And won't happen again if someone doesn’t try to die on me.”

“Like I had a choice!” Chuuya jabbed back. Rashomon slipped around Chuuya's body, lifting him up and simultaneously ending the two older men’s argument. Dazai took that as his queue to start climbing the ladder to the helicopter. Avoiding any further questioning.

Akutagawa looked over at the still frightened Atsushi, “Did you really think he wasn’t capable of something like that?”

“I just don’t want to believe it.”

Akutagawa sighed, seeing the clear betrayal and confusion written all over Atsushi’s face.

“If it makes you feel any better, he is so very different now. He used to do that to most of the men he got his hands on. Now we barely see him kill at all, right?”

Akutagawa said, trying to reassure the white haired man. He didn’t let Atsushi respond, turning around and begging his ascent to the helicopter with Rashomon holding Chuuya just above him. Atsushi grabbed the ladder, his head still turned, looking at the dead man.

“Right…” Atsushi reluctantly agreed. After a moment of contemplation he began climbing up himself.

#bsd #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #atsushi nakajima #bsd atsushi #bungo stray dogs #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd akutagawa #soukuko #demon prodigy #demon prodigy!Dazai #fanfic #double black #skk #bungou stray dogs dazai #dazai x chuuya #violent!dazai

33 notes · View notes

vypridae · 3 months

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9!!! 10!!! 11!! 12!! 13!!! or pick and choose <3

IDK WHICH FANDOMS U MEAN BUT IM GONNA DO EACH ONE AND ILL JUST PUT MY HAZBIN/HELLUVA ANSWERS UNDER A CUT SO U DONT HAVE TO SEE THEM

9. worst part of canon

ok the worst part of dgrp canon has to be the way they handle characterization, like especially with trauma. specifically in mind i have korekiyo rn, like they mega rushed his entire Thing and wrote it in a way that paints HIM in a terrible awful light when it very likely (or definitely) wasnt that at all, but the way it was written just fucks up so, so much. also the Danganronpa Repitition TM (flashbacks to

bsd uuuh oh my god i have to think about this one cuz i love bsd with a passion BAHAHA its hard to find flaws with that one (in part i havent consumed the media in forever), ik it might be just bc the series is still being written but its irritating that some things from like the first seasons are just not touched upon again? and maybe its because ihavent read the manga but like. did atsushi join the ada and suddenly the bounty on his head is just Gone? am i misremembering if they went back to that or not its been like a year since ive watched bsd i need to rewatch it but thats about all i can think of. im not even mad about the not killing any characters because fyodor is alive still

10. worst part of fanon

dgrp has a TERRIBLEEEE shipping fandom. i hated oumasai for the longest fucking time because i encountered this one rper way back when that like was a mega red flag SBGJKFDHGKA i hated them for a while after that (then they grew on me). you get shit on for liking, like, the more toxic ships in the fandom no matter your reasonings or whatever, and i feel like its just a really negative place to be a shipper that likes to explore bad dynamics (such as i)

i think the worst part of bsd fanon is similar. shipping sides of fandoms are ALWAYS bad i feel like, and there are a lot of people that will be like "skk is real fuck you for shipping anything else" or like "if u ship nikolai with anyone but fyodor i dont trust u" or something like??? its a fucking ship chill out its fictional it doesnt hurt anyone irl CALM DOWN

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

for bsd uh . only two surprisingly, and its two ships that i cannot physically make myself like?? thats all apparently

for dgrp i have uuh two and its literally also only two ships that i dont like BHASFKAHSK

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

for bsd am i allowed to say fyodor? idk if he necessarily counts as "unpopular" but i see way more hate of him than i see people liking him, but god fucking dammit i love him with my whole heart. hes so evil and those kinds of characters litearlly just make me gravitate towards them, hes so smart and cunning and you can do so much with his character, especially learning his ability oh my god? jhes so complex and i love him

for dgrp, i feel like every character is "unpopular" BAHSAJKAHk but for this i think i wanna go with chiaki. people hate chiaki because shes "boring" or at least they Did back when i first got into the series but shes so different in the game compared to the anime because the game shes based on her classmates' memories of her! shes only this "perfect" individual because thats how her entire class saw her, like she was made the class rep for a reason

13. worst blorboficiation

ok this one im trying to figure out what the fuck the definition is BAHAJSHFAJK from what im SEEING its like, the character that doesnt deserve to be liked as much as they are. (i dont think i answered this one correctly but shh its fine)

for bsd thats really hard for me to think of because i like literally every character but uuh if i had to say one ig i'd say uuh . maybe dazai? i feel like this is in part because people typically take away from dazai's entire complex everything because he's too complex for a lot of people (including me) to truly understand, like im not saying i understand him but i feel like a lot of people will take the wrong parts of him/exclude anything they dont like about him and go with that? if that counts but idk i still like dazai so i cant say that too much

for dgrp its the exact same situation with kokichi. they take his character, of which is incredibly complex, and dumb it down into the typical fandom woobification of "uwu baby who cant do anything wrong" LIKE!!! STOP!!! NO HE IS NOT!!! HE IS SO COMPLEX AND YOU'RE LIKING HIS CHARACTER FOR ALL THE WRONG REASONS!!! people that dont understand the complexity behind certain characters and are incapable of taking that as their blorbo and instead creating this silly incorrect version in their mind and making THAT their blorbo i just. thats not ur blorbo atp thats ur oc my guy

hazbin/helluva answers

9. worst part of canon

both of these shows are kinda not the best when it comes to being serious???? like there are some topics that shouldnt be joked about i feel like, and there are points in the shows that joke in relation to these topics. also theres not enough voxval but thats a criticism for another time

10. worst part of fanon

not even just the ships tbh, its liking any character thats either painted in a negative light or is just generally unpopular. the ships too but i could get to that another time. for EXAMPLE, me, i like valentino. a lot. he's one of my favorite characters. i feel like i cannot express the fact i love val because i will get called an ACTUAL rapist for saying it because "if you like val you condone his actions and thus are a rapist/terrible person/etc" when thats absolutely not at all how it works. i acknowledge that val is terrible, i understand that its bad, but i can still enjoy him as a character otherwise. his actions are what i dont like, ive never liked him (i actually hated him at first because of it but then i saw him being more silly in the series with vox and he grew on me), but you will actively get told to kys if you say that you even REMOTELY enjoy vals character

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

i have none for helluva but for hazbin i have four. three of which are for the sAME SHIP and one is another ship i dont like

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MIMZYYYY dude she gets so much unnecessary hate. like, everyone sees her as annoying and terrible and i GUESS i can see where they're coming from but a. theyre in hell, everyone's terrible, b. people just see her as annoying because she interrupted hells greatest dad and they dont like that because they want their radioapple song or wtvr. i love her and no one can convince me otherwise

13. worst blorboficiation

ok THIS one i might actually be able to answer with the correct definition of blorboification. i feel like alastor gets way too much unnecessary love, and maybe thats just because i think hes too popular for being what he is but hes just not all that to me. like, hes a good character, yes, but some people like him to an extent that i feel like doesnt do him justice?? its like i said with uuuuuh the dgrp side of this question, they dumb down his character a lot and are just generally bad at making him ACCURATE to the point its irritating. (hey so yk how i said i could answer with the right definition of this i lied)

#anyway sorry BFASHBSFDHKBASFHK i feel like i said a LOTTT for this #and also the last question i couldnt figure out how to answer so very sorry abt that #xanbox #ask game

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hopefull-mindset · 8 months

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Hello. I had another question. Would you say the way the relationships/interactions are written between the characters in BSD would be considered queerbaiting?

Technically by definition I would personally say yes, however there's usually a negative connotation that comes with queerbaiting that's related to harming the queer community so I was wondering if you had a more nuanced approach to the topic.

Queerbait… ah my worst enemy of a term has struck again. Mind if I add the Queer Coding discussion into this as well? Because when I see one person denounce the idea of Queer Coding in BSD, another person goes “oh yeah, it’s actually Queerbait”. No offense, but nobody knows what they’re talking about with either term and I understand why. I have my hangups about how they've been used and the blur between them causing this confusion.

I didn’t even realize this was something people argued about because I didn’t think there was enough to argue queer intent anywhere. I’m generally used to vague queer representation getting these types of arguments, so I blanked out with confusion.

For those who don’t know, Queerbait is a term coined to refer to marketing strategies that use the “implied” queerness to market their content to an audience who are interested in that to view their content. Of course, they don’t actually follow through on that “promise” for the sake of their viewership not being disturbed. Maybe they'll put some hints in their little show, and then kill them off when the time is ripe.

That’s where most of its negative connotations come from: Taking advantage of a marginalized group’s need for representation to improve their ratings. People use this… very incorrectly, usually when someone is clearly using Queer Coding in their work and get accused of Queerbait when they don’t follow through with an explicit romantic relationship.

Queer Coding is when a creator writes subtextual hints into their writing that a character or relationship is meant to be read as gay to bypass censorship or stigma within the media they’re writing in. Usually with signals that a gay audience can catch onto or romantic references in plain sight. While technically not the greatest example since MDZS is a danmei, the Donghua wasn't exactly allowed to fully present their relationship for what it was. Surprisingly, they added a scene where a move of Wei Wuxian’s colored both his and Lan Wangji’s robes red to resemble Chinese wedding garments.

I only chose that example because I think it's a great representation of details in plain sight. But then there's the other way I've seen Queer Coding get used and that's in queer analysis where we read a narrative or character as gay because of their distinct traits or plotline that resonates with LGBTQ+ audiences. It gets confusing when people use it both ways, but fandom usually uses it the first way.

I'm a bit bitter when I talk about these two terms because of how often the overlap confuses audiences, and god knows how loosely Queer Coding gets used to describe some vague, homoerotic friendship while the other side starts accusing the author of Queerbait. Then you start questioning if the author was really trying to take advantage of the community, wanted to explore sexuality without commitment, or literally didn't realize what they wrote could be interpreted like that because of how it chooses to write intimacy. It gets messy FAST.

Ah, how do I say this… I get the outrage of not having explicit representation more often, but when Queerbait starts getting used to describing the writing itself rather than just the promotional marketing, it starts losing all meaning to me and becomes a scab on my back. It generalizes the intent of the writer and assumes them in this box of malicious motivations. Then there's the whole argument of whether or not real people can “queerbait”, which is also stupid to me.

The examples people bring up don't even hold up (starts using t.A.T.u in your examples for once because… wow) and a majority only apply this to fictional content because of the super-secret rule to Queerbait. Usually, it can't work because then that assumes the sexuality of the person in question and they fully well could just be non-disclosed queer who's exploring their sexuality, but then what makes the writer a problem? What's stopping you from confusing Queer Coding with Queerbait?? It's different when it's obvious that they're using the queer identity for a quick browny point, but Jesus.

The way fandom uses it is not in these really obvious moments, but in ambiguous writing. I don't understand any of this when we start straying into this territory and I'm trying not to get mad when I'm currently talking about this right now. I am already mad, I failed. Maybe it's just a personal feeling, but I really don't like this term for these reasons. It's useful, but kind sucks. I can go on forever about Queerbait and the misusage of it, and even the way I think its used currently is bullshit anyway, but I digress.

Right right, this is about Bungou Stray Dogs. As you could guess from my rant, I don't think Asagiri is queerbaiting us if you mean it in the “queerbait writing” crowd. So what about Studio Bones?

Bones, well… I mean it's really common for animation studios to draw official art like this and since Queerbait is more of a Western concept, this is understood as just fanservice I think. You can technically count this as Queerbait if you'd like, but you should always consider the fact of a different community always having a different relationship with queer concepts.

Studio Bones's official art of Soukoku is hilarious to me. There’s another one promoting some brand and they're at a fountain dating spot. At least these are not as bad as the official art for Mecha animes in the 2000s lololol.

Moving on, the argument for Queer Coding when it comes to Soukoku tends to rely on these arts. I don't recommend doing that because relying on side content that holds no purpose other than to rile up fans doesn't make a strong enough case. Subtext is the most important part to making a point, so if you can't even point in the direction of the main text, then…

Dazai and Chuuya is a bit bottom barrel of what can be considered Queer Coding. I like Soukoku as much as the next guy (maybe not in the same way) and think their relationship is incredibly fun, but one vaguely homoerotic scene in Dead Apple does not convince me anything of the idea they should be seen in a romantic context. Trust me, I've spent a long time back proofing my arguments as to why my long-term OTP should be understood as gay. Soukoku doesn't impress me in these lines of understanding.

I personally think the way some SKK fans approach their relationship from a purely romantic view and are entirely insistent on this one-note understanding of Dazai’s feelings for him ruins most conversation on the topic of Dazai, Chuuya, Age 15, and his inclusion in Stormbringer. They're very important to each other, but some need to step back to appreciate what they have in canon and then apply romance?

I have no idea why people talk as if Dazai joking around and saying “That's what makes me like you” really meant anything. Makes me doubt half the time if it's just people seeing the panel out of content and have never read the actual novel.

Fyodor and Nikolai shippers are like this too. They take the importance they have to one another (at least for Nikolai, idk what Fyodor thinks of him) and then inflate that into just romance. What they have isn't really Queer Coding, it's just fixation that is seen as romantic. They have their official art, but that doesn't mean much since it's anthology art.

Rimbaud and Verlaine hm… sometimes when an author depicts real people who were in a relationship, they avoid that detail by calling them “brotherly”. The relationship of the real authors shouldn't be pointed at as proof at all because the characters are not the people. I would not recommend romanticizing their relationship either since it was um, I don't think chaotic cuts it. The age gap was disastrous, Rimbaud moved in with him and his wife at some point (obviously making the marriage worse), one of them got slapped with a fish, Verlaine tried shooting Rimbaud, etc.

So me saying that there was no Queer Coding shouldn't mean you can't see them as queer, I just mean there's no proof of Asagiri having that intention. That is all. I think Verlaine and Rimbaud had something going on, but that's purely from my own amusement and appeal.

That's my take on that I guess? I don't see it either way. It takes a lot for me to believe there was an intention to write them a certain way. Even if you asked me, “Do you think Akechi and the protagonist from Persona 5 are meant to be gay?” I'd giggle and consider it from what the p5 royal content was like, but I'd tell you no, unfortunately.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #dazai osamu #bsd meta #chuuya nakahara

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kit-scrolls · 1 month

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Hi! I just read your old BSD fic, Altschmerz, and I was wondering if you could provide me with a sorta outline of how the story was gonna go? It's really well written, in-character, and I'm really invested in where the story will go from here. If it's no trouble, of course! :3

ITS BEEN A LITERAL YEAR SINCE YOU SENT THIS ASK IM SO SORRY

i was fully prepared to send you my whole outline, but i. don't know where it went?? i don't have the last chapter of altschmerz stored anywhere in my docs i literally have no idea. where did. what????

i can give you my best guess, but please keep in mind it has been over 2 years since i've actually thought about it at all. on that note, please, please, please feel free to pick it up if you'd like! i don't mind at all, and if you're interested in working w/ me, feel free to DM me so i can link you to my current tumblr acc. :)

spoilers!!

chapter 5

what i definitely wanted: confrontation with the port mafia, but more specifically mori, similar to the canon meeting between the ada/pm. security in front of mori's door yields to him and calls him by his executive honorifics. there's taunting between the two of them, and at some point dazai threatens mori's life in reference to the reason he quit the PM (something along the lines of "why, 'cause you were scared i'd slit your throat just like you did all those years ago?"). throughout the chapter, kunikida finally puts the pieces together and dreadingly realizes that dazai is, in fact, the demon prodigy.

what i kind of want now: a kunikida/dazai confrontation in the same location as the iconic oda/dazai scene in the dark era, where dazai fails to grab onto oda's coat before he goes to fight mimic. possibly interactions with chuuya later down the line, but i can't write skk for the life of me so maybe not?

chapter 6 onwards

i'm fairly certain yamada hanako is revealed to be the one who sent the note, with the actual name of fumiko enchi. irl fumiko enchi was the author of masks, a japanese novel surrounding the ideas of sexual deception and revenge. the story mr. yamada tells about her eloping with the demon prodigy isn't entirely untrue—it was part of a mission dazai had with the port mafia (yes, possibly while underage) and he obviously ends up dumping her when the mission is over. she never gets over it—hence the motive. i think this is meant to tie into the fic's title—altschmerz—where neither dazai nor fumiko are able to rid themselves of their past.

i also have some vague memories in the back of my mind that they might actually recover the footage from the PM which does in fact show dazai delivering the ransom note (in this case, masks would give her the ability to change her appearance, and so she is dazai in disguise) but i can't entirely remember if i actually planned that. if so, i think past me also missed out on some opportunities for fun shapeshifting hijinks to occur earlier on. like, maybe during the kunikida/dazai confrontation, it's not dazai at all—its fumiko, who ends up saying some pretty nasty things + injuring kunikida and therefore raises the stakes for dazai quite a bit.

final chapter

i'm fairly certain i actually wrote this one out, which is a wee bit frustrating. i think this fic was meant to end at oda's graveyard, once the mission was over. maybe fukuzawa sent dazai on break after all was said and done. kunikida finds dazai sitting with his back to oda's gravestone, and they talk through things. for some reason, my memory is insisting ranpo was involved too, but i can't remember why. i think the resolution to the fic is meant to be one focused on morality, the value of changing your ways and doing good, and moving on from past mistakes. and trust.

to be honest, i can't say for certain i'll return to this fic, or writing fics in general, again. this isn't a bad thing! i've hopped around fandoms, somewhat moved on to working on my own characters and stories, and changed monikers a couple times (some of you might have interacted with my alt accs without ever having realized). for the number of you all who've been interested in my well-being, i'm 100% fine, promise.

thank you for everyone who's been sending nice messages to my inboxes—i do read every one, even if i sometimes don't have the time or energy to reply. i will say, this is the most invested i've been in altschmerz in a long time and who knows? maybe i'll come back to it one day. till then though, signing off,

kit-scrolls.

#kit speaks

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azamonvoid · 5 months

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BSD 114.5 SPOILERS

Ok so, a few things.

I was first thinking that this was a moment when the person who's body originally belonged to had a bit of control,

But at the same time it could've been fully planned by Fyodor for Sigma to find the note and do this act, but not fully dismissing the possibility of Fyodor taking advantage of what he had around to make it look that it was an act when it was actually the person who last killed him (aka, mix of both things)

Now moving to Fukuchi and Fyodor on the newest chapter

There is a chance that the character that appeared at the end of s5ep11 of the anime might be Fukuchi, since the character looks way to similar to him.

Now, why do I think this and how does it connect to the manga chapter 114.5? Easy, the tripolar singularity.

(BTW, WILL CONTAIN SPOILERS FROM THE 55MINUTES AND STORMBRINGER LIGHT NOVELS)

Throughout the BSD story, we´ve seen a few cases of singularties, when 2 abilities that are exactly the same go agaisnt one another (Sasunosuke Oda vs André Gide); an ability being used on itself (Chuuya's ability back when he was a child, before he was taken by N) and/or 2 abilities that contradict eachothers (example given by Wells to Atsushi during the Standard Island events).

In this case, Fyodor is using the Holy sword, Amenogozen and Fukuchi's ability.

--The Holy sword is seen previously be used to seal Bram and control his ability, not letting Bram use his own ability at will unless Fukuchi, who was the one who had sealed him, held the sword.

--Amenogozen allows the holder to cut through space and time.

--And lastly, Mirror Lion, Fukuchi's ability, allows him to significantly increase the power of any weapon he uses.

Seeing it this way, it's rather obvious that Fyodor wants to increase the power of Amenogozen for an specific reason.

And I cant help but connect the dots with the unknown character from the anime season finale.

It also makes a bit of sense to me, since the anime shows that character after mentioning its only been 2 hours after the supposed death of Fyodor and Fukuchi.

I think the fact that this 2 already powerfull swords combined with Mirrow Lion is the reason this tripolar singularity occurs and that the effect from that turns Fukuchi into the unknown character.

In a way it can be looked like Chuuya's and Verlaine's situation, both have singularities that make them look different from their usual self.

For Chuuya it's Corruption/Arahabaki (no, Arahabaki isn't a god using Chuuya as a vessel. Might do a post abt that in the future.) and for Verlaine it's Guivre

For Chuuya it makes him look unhinged(?) but in the Stormbringer it was also described that he would get dark wings, while Verlaine actually turned into a huge creature that could be compared to Godzilla (might not be completely acurrate, Im going through memory); so it could be completely possible for Fukuchi to get a new design through that moment which he's not in control of his body (again, just like Chuuya and Verlaine.)

---

So, Im actually feeling a bit sick as I try to finish writing this and dont have the will power to reread everything to know if I wrote everything I wanted plus checking if there's anything I wanted to write that I forgot-

Hope yall are having a good day and prob see you next month with this kind of posts ^^

(atp Im hoping for some day to be known as the dude who makes random bsd theories that sometimes go true-)

#talking hatrack #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd fyodor #bsd fukuchi #bsd s5 ep11 #bsd 114.5 #manga #anime #the hat uses it's brain for theories #<- just remembered I made that tag and I love it fr

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lesbianyosano · 1 year

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what do you think bsd is trying to say about war? do you have any other thoughts about political themes present in the story?

oh i have,,, thoughts,, for sure. also these are more loose threads that have been floating around in my head more than a concrete thesis so sorry if they dont make much sense as a whole

one thing i think is crucial to discussing bsd as a political story is to look at which countries' authors asagiri choses to include in the story.

obviously the main cast is japanese, but the other prominent characters come from usa and russia, and if you also take in characters from the light novels or ones, who have been foreshadowed to be important (like agatha), france and the uk come to mind. those are all states with imperialist past/present, and while there are none morally pure countries this specific selection is still pretty intense all things considered. many of the authors included in bsd were also involved politically one way or another (most had been active during the first half of the 20th century, and wrote about war one way or another)

the imperialism isnt really touched upon, unfortunately so, but ( and maybe this is just me being hopeful) i like to think its less about asagiri not seeing it and more about him not wanting to open another sensitive topic in an already complicated work of fiction.

ultimately i'd say bsd is anti-war. that's the most prevailing political theme, and one that has been slowly revealing itself and becoming more prominent the further we go into the story. worth noting is how elements that could've (and maybe should have) been shown as explicitly political avoided this framing in earlier parts of the story (fukuzawa's old profession, kunikida's ideals), but ig there's still time for that. the anti-war sentiment ties back to a lot of the works that the abilities are named after, esp in the agency. no longer human, thou shalt not die, the makioka sisters (tanizaki's light snow) are all prime examples (and kunikida's ability could technically be put under this too depending on how you look at it, since his war journalism is what made him a prominent literary figure). even if some of the authors had some questionable opinion's irl, the parts that asagiri choses to include always come back to the horrors of war.

decay of angels is another thing, given it's named after mishima's last novel, one that he left to his publisher on the same day he started a coup trying to restore the emperor of japan and commited seppuku. there was a theory i saw a while back that said bram wasnt actually a doa member, and the 5th person is yet to be revealed, and it'd be really interesting if we got mishima in bsd but he's still to this day a pretty polarizing figure (understandably so) and im not sure if asagiri would want to take that step, since it'd be a point of no return in terms of explicit politics in the story. and he's been pretty timid with that i mean look at the way he handles police brutality (cops in yokohama being portrayed as incompetent yet ultimately good people, jouno going from prime example of someone knowingly abusing their power to apparently caring abt the innocents, and this is obv a different, more complicated topic so uhh idk maybe ill talk abt it some other time adgsfgagd). idk it just seems like he's afraid to really push the ideas forwards, keeps them palatable to the general public although idk if this is a concious choice or not. im willing to give asagiri the benefit of the doubt bc of how he handles fukuchi though. people hate him bc??? idk he's not a twink and he killed someone ig but personally i adore him, goofy aah guy imo. it'd be easy to write him off as just an autoritarian crazy guy who wants to take control of the world for unspecified "greater good" but the arguments he makes are generally pretty compelling! and not just to readers, we see atsushi questioning the way world works and government's role after listening to fukuchi explain himself. its fukuchi's methods that are questionable not the ultimate goal of state abolition. and we still dont really know what his ultimate reason for doing all this is, just that he claims it's not revenge on fukuzawa, so im curious how this is going to get handled.

and the last thing is the brief anticapitalism theme in the guild arc but again, its like asagiri gave up on it before it became too prominent. fitzgerald is the ultimate capitalist and we see this esp in relation to steinbeck, whose dislikes list finansists in the enligh translation and capitalists in the polish one (no idea what is listed in japanese exactly). but fitzgerald is ultimately sort of redemed, with his (and poe's) wealth treated as a gag rather than a human rights violation

those are all the things that have been ping ponging around in my head and i hope this is in any way at least a little bit understandable. there are some things here that deserve a post of their own but id have to reread at least the last few arcs to talk about them in depth.

#also sorry this took so long i need to get better at answering things #theres still one more thing in my ask box thats been there for so so long god #ask #i should. try to reread stuff abt fitzgerald and jouno...

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sigmadolos · 2 years

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Anonymous said: Proshippers aren’t drama hun, they’re vile pedophiles using RP to whack off to. If you are okay following people like that.I’m gonna warn all my bsd moots to block you asap for condoning nasty shit

In all my years on Tumblr I’ve never had to deal with this sort of bs and I don’t like to give voice to hate, but alright here we go. Although I am fighting the flu and is like 5 a.m. so maybe not my most coherent post.

Anon, I don’t see you posting hate about Kafka Asagiri? You know, the man who WROTE BSD and the characters? The one who allows for child soldiers to blow themselves up? Who blew up a bus full of orphans? Who has Dazai abusing the shit out of Akutagawa? Or Naomi and Junichirio (esp Bones for this one) ? That’s problematic my friend. MOST media is problematic. But people LOVE Fyodor, they LOVE Dazai, but heaven forbid someone like’s Mori or some of these other characters. You can like a character and not condone what the character does. Dazai kills, Fyodor kills, Chuuya kills, Sigma kills. Does that mean I condone killing because I write a character that kills? No. Nor do i condone the religious extremism of Fyodor, or the torture Nikolai puts people though, or a million other things in media that I like. Also, I like mythology and let me tell you. That shit is problematic as fuck but funny enough, a lot of people even anti’s are like well no, THAT’S okay! Which.......I genuinely do not understand. Like...why is THAT okay? I do genuinely want to hear an explanation for that.

I don’t deal with the whole pro/anti shipper drama that goes around these days. But if I don’t like something? I block it. Be it a person, a ship tag, a character tag, whatever it is. YOU are responsible for curating your space. There are ships I loathe, ships that disgust me and I never ever want to see, and so I block those tags and that’s that. Easy, drama-free, and now my space is free from it. At the end of the day, it’s YOUR (well my in this example) responsibility to curate your online space. And that’s what blocking is for. I can recommend Tumblr Servant as an extension, you can write a URL or tag or whatever in it and have it so it’s not just blocked but just never appears if the URL is mentioned anywhere in the post. There’s a lot of subjects that need to be handled VERY carefully like abuse and mental illnesses and such, and I for one would never ever write certain topics in RP or ever, like pedophilia or rape & so on and so forth. And I don’t follow those who do because it makes me uncomfortable to see in RP. If your issue is DazAku and DazAtsu (which doesn’t?? even apply to me??) in both cases they’re 2 years different and both are 20+ ? And if its something about it not being perfectly healthy, boy do I have news for you because Soukoku, Fyolai, Fyozai, Shin-Soukoku, a lOT of those aren’t healthy from where they stand in canon. Not fanon, but canon. I will never, ever send death threats to someone, least of all over fiction. Because let me tell you, a lot of the real life authors? Very Problematic by today’s standards and sometimes their own.

Also, frankly, i’ve been in the Hunter x Hunter fandom and there’s way worse there. Like...canonly. FYI since I know the blog sending this or at least one, KuroKura isn’t underage (though far from my cup of tea for many other reasons) , Kurapika is 18/19 in that arc and Chrollo is somewhere close to 24/26 ish. Not my cup of tea for many reasons, but figured I’d point that out for you so you might want to delete that post if you’re trying to make that blog a good ‘evidence’ source.

While I’m at it. You can LIKE a character and despise what they do and who they are. There’s characters i HATE, but I can appreciate how they’re a good hero, antihereo, or villain, or how they move the plot forward. Characters are (optimally) vehicles for the narrative. A character can be WELL written and despicable, some are written PURPOSEFULLY for the audience to hate that character as a character.

Anyways, there’s my stance on things. If you want to soft or hardblock me, that’s fine. I’m not going to hate you for it, or stalk you over it, or whatever else people do. Please do whatever makes you comfortable. I will not perpetuate this circle of hatred. If I write with someone you don’t like, either block their tag (i tag it all) or if you need to softblock, that’s fine too Your health matters.

#drama tw #i hope this post is coherent enough #but here you are anon #if you want to block me then go for it #whatever you need to do to feel comfortable #ooc || an absolute mythology nerd

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mytragedyperson · 1 year

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OK tumblr apparently hates me because twice now I've wrote out a relatively long slightly ramble post and it's let me click post and then just not posted, and as far as I can see there not in my drafts so, instead of that post, I will be watching all the episodes of bsd 5 tomorrow and just noting down any thoughts I have, probably mostly appreciating Ranpo and making fun of Fukuchi, because that's fun to me. However there are 2 thoughts that won't leave my head and so tumblr gets to have them.

So first of all I've seen manga panels of Dazai getting shot and presumably dying, which I guess is a spoiler but has also been all over tumblr and it looked like it was on twitter too. Quite frankly, I'm not buying it, and not just because I love Dazai and am living in denial. I've already been burned by BSD in this department of being convinced a character is dead and then bringing them back. I am, of course, talking about Margaret. I thought Akutagawa had killed her and then, a season later, she was brought back, albeit in a coma, to further a plot. Also this is Dazai, if anyone could come back from being shot in to head it's him. For all that he's suicidal and has no will to live, hes really bad at dying, which is good for those of us who like Dazai and I won't complain about that. The only people that have died and stayed so far are Oda and his orphans and Rando (I only watch anime). There may be others but I can't remember them. There were a couple characters who appeared in one episode and were killed off in the episode but everyone else has simply said no to death, which I can respect. Honestly they could get his body out of the prison and have a whole like funeral/memorial scene with all of the characters mourning him and I still wouldn't be fully convinced he's dead. So maybe it is slight denial but I stand by what I said.

My second thought was that I still feel sorry for Bram stoker. I dont care what terrible things he's done, he doesn't deserve the fate he's been given. I can just imagine Fukuchi going on and on about his plan, sounding so confident since he always has turn back time as a backup plan, and he just can't escape it. He's stuck forced to listen. That's the true evil right there.

Also I have a lot of thoughts about how Fukuchi is actually not a good villain, as in I'm not intimidated by him and don't truly see him as a threat. Like his sword is a threat, moreso when he weilds it, since he makes it more effective, but the guy himself? He should be more of a threat than he is. I'll address that tomorrow as I rewatch the episodes because its a big part of my mental commentary and making fun of Fukuchi hours. He might actually be one of the worst villains in the show. I'll address that on a later date. Another thought I'll be addressing tomorrow is my theory that Fyodor is the true leader of the Decay of Angels. Like if they had to listen to one of them regarding a plan they'd listen to Fyodor over Fukuchi. They just can't be bothered with Fukuchis attempts to murder or control them with the sword. Also, bing is my search engine and when I looked up who is the leader of the decay of angels? You know to double check it was Fukuchi, it had his name but the picture next to his name was Fyodor so do with that what you will. Anyway no more thoughts head empty.

Also if anyone has asks regarding anything to do with the BSD anime, I'd be happy to answer them because thinking about/discussing BSD is fun and I do have opinions on a lot of things

edit: change of plans. while i do still plan to do this it's gonna take a little longer. I have a blog, not a tumblr one, though, that I basically never use, so I'm gonna use that to note down any thoughts, opinions and just things in general that I feel like noting down. After I've done that, I'll share it here. Again, asks will be open and this will probably take me a while so, if anyone wants to discuss the BSD anime, feel free to send asks or messages or comment or whatever

#bsd #bungou stray dogs s5 #bungou stray dogs #bsd 5 spoilers #bsd manga #bsd manga spoilers #dazai osamu #fukuchi ouchi #bram stoker

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kunikinnie · 2 years

Note

a bit of spoiler + mentions of suicide/suicidal thoughts (average Osamu Dazai) + im most likely not the first one to think about this but let me have my protagonist moment, okay?

okay, i was on my Ōgai brainrot, right?

and, as a person who's only at the 12th volume and at the first season, and knows way more than they should because they literally look for spoilers (I don't. i just happen to see stuff), i was thinking about that one scene where Ōgai replies to Osamu, saying that he reminds him of himself. and right after, he asks him why he wants to die so badly, right?

now .

i know that he most likely meant that Osamu reminds him of hims because he thinks they have the same way of reasoning, scheming and stuff.

but ... what if it was also because Ōgai had those thoughts, too?

okay, i perfectly know this sounds as dumb as ass, because Ōgai just doesn't seem the type and all that. but WHAT if ?????

i was just thinking.......

okay, sorry, i hope you're having a good day:)

warning: mentions of suicide

ahh sorry I just got to this now! :'))

Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Well, I'll try to share my thoughts as clearly as possible without spoiling that much.

I think it's possible Mori may have considered suicide, but I think the big difference between him and Dazai that if Mori did have those thoughts, it's not due to any particular overhanging heavy emotion.

If I'm not mistaken there's that sort of philosophy where suicide is not necessarily a sad thing - it's just an option on how you live (or cease to live?) your life. That's how I imagine he'd go about it.

What he and Dazai have similar, I think, is the thought that "life is meaningless." I genuinely believe neither truly take that to heart or anything but the consequence of that idea is, for Dazai, to disprove that and hopefully find some sort of meaning in it, regardless of how beautiful, ugly, or trivial that meaning may be, while for Mori it's just... a fact, I guess? HAHA idk that might have been a terrible explanation

Because like, him accepting and fully embodying the role of a mafia boss, the night of Yokohama, shows that he's not the soul-searching, wayward in life type. If anything, he's hella ambitious. Single-minded and determined to reach his goals.

OR he might have gone through the same "lost" phase, but his personality now shows the choices he's made to determining that "meaning" or totally disregarding that search all in all. After all, the real author Mori Ougai was considered a romanticist in terms of his literature (he had a feud with another dude who said that literature should be realistic af, so he argued that no! it can be emotional and fantastical if one wishes to - that's the beauty in art, right?) until his work eventually evolved to be more "cold" (as in very logic heavy, characters have little power or are made to follow the roles they are given, plus his homage to a lot of samurai/traditional values of the old pre-Meiji Restoration Japan).

I think I should mention that he did write a short story praising a Japanese army general's suicide (since he promised he'd do that if the emperor died as he lost him a major battle during the Sino-Japanese War, I think) since it embodied the spirit of the true samurai. (Title is The Last Testament of Okitsu Yagoemon) Natsume Souseki, on the other hand, had other thoughts... (wrote a whole novel, Kokoro).

Sorry for the info dump but given how much BSD likes to tie irl author things into its universe, I wanted to link my interpretation/thoughts on BSD Mori by using the real-life inspiration.

Sorry for the long post but I hope that makes sense!

#asks #tw suicide #spoilers #?

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astrochemstry · 3 years

Text

ADA playing Mafia:

Kenji Miyazawa:

* Sweet boy always tells the truth

* Cant handle being the mafia

* Real good at noticing other people’s changes in behaviour

* Really expressive whenever he sees his role

* Mafia: *gasp, frowning face*, Villager: *sigh in relief*

* Hes good at convincing other people to vote the same person he votes for

* Mainly bcs hes so kind and trustworthy

Kyouka Izumi:

* Its sort of hard to find difference in her behaviour

* Shes emotionless most of the time and has a poker face most of the time

* Shes suspicious of Dazai, Ranpo, Yosano, Fukazawa most of the tome

* I mean the others are smart too but sometimes she forgets that they can be mafia like Atsushi, Kunikida, Kenji because they have strong moral beliefs and such so it gets her off guard

* As the Mafia, she’d be good and She kills Dazai first lmao She knows what he can do

* Doesnt do that often and changes targets to avoid suspicion in future games as mafia

Atsushi Nakajima:

* pretty good as Mafia, Just needs to come up with better arguments

* Hes easily swayed actually, Believes Dazai but sometimes Dazai lies a bit lmao

* Sometimes he could die first

* Hes pretty expressive if he gets accused as mafia, even if hes not

* Hes all sweaty and trying to explain it well but it makes him so suspicious that he dies sometimes

* He cant tell any differences in Dazai or Kyouka’s Behaviours and relies mainly on what he feels when that happens

* He mainly stays silent when discussing who the Mafia is and will answer if asked what he thinks only

Yosano Akiko:

* C o m p e t i t i v e.

* Real intimidating that she seems like the mafia when shes not

* If she dies, she laughs a lot since she can see whos who and its really funny trying to see them find out who the mafia is

* Shes pretty good at asking anyone questions when its discussion time and if she thinks youre not telling the truth, she intimidates you

* As Mafia, she manages to act as herself

* Except for the occasional chuckles she covers up by saying “That just sounded funny” and stuff

* It works most of the time but some people can see through it lol

* Shes a bit reckless because shes a bit competitive but shes good

Fukazawa (forgot the rest of his name oh no):

* Like Kyouka, poker face.

* Didnt play the first few games but they managed to convince him

* Hes silent most of the time unless he needs to defend himself

* Smiled one time actually it was an awesome moment for the ADA

* As Mafia, he wouldnt change behaviour AT ALL

* But he gets caught because he doesnt understand most of the instructions

* He can notice other people’s behaviour changes

* Doesnt know the intent sometimes though so he can misinterpret the person as a mafia even if they’re just sweaty from heat

Junichiro & Naomi Tanazaki:

* Naomi always invites Tanazaki to play

* Both would actually team up lmao

* Naomi comes up with plans and Tanazaki makes up some signals

* Like two taps to look under the table to check who the other is pointing at, three taps to say they know who it is

* Almost got caught but honestly thats why they win a lot lmao

* Ranpo knows though but they give him candy to keep it a secret

* Sometimes they dont do it though, They play against each other

* Naomi as Mafia is honestly pretty easy to find out

* Shes all giggly and killing Tanazaki first

* Tanazaki as Mafia is a 50/50

* Hes good at acting (as seen in the bombing ep where hes first introduced) so he can still be himself. May fidget a lot though so depending on certain things, he can make an excuse and pass or he’ll be caught

Ranpo Edogawa:

* THIS IS RANPO.

* HES NEVER IN THE GAME.

* Knows whos who, knows what will happen and can always prevent getting killed

* No mafia is safe and no innocents either

* Hes gonna get the mafia or others to vote you out if it means hes staying in game

* So hes the moderator (saying things like “alright, wakey wakey Mafia, who’s gonna die tonight?” “Alright. Dazai’s Dead.”)

* Eats food while watching and groaning whenever they vote the wrong person

* “ding dong your opinion is wrong”

* “i bet Atsushi’s dying first” never bet with him on this because hes always right.

* Oh?? You think Kyouka is dying first?? According to him, NOPE. Now give him candy

* If he does play in one game, hes mainly mafia actually

* Its not that frequent he plays in the games so you cant say hes uh mafia all the time but

* Him as mafia is scary, like hes not that strategical like Dazai but bro can make up arguments and convince people to go on his side

Kunikida Doppo:

* His ideals say he doesnt have time for mafia

* Kidding.

* Hes suspicious of everyone, especially Dazai

* Votes Dazai most of the time

* Uh hes wrong sometimes but dw hes good

* Sometimes he believes Dazai since hes like convincing as fuck but Dazai likes to lie for fun

* He notices changes in uhh the tension

* He feels stuff ykyk— doesnt like it since it affects his mood but he uses it to his advantage

* If its a pretty nervous tension around two people, he expects either of them are the mafia, just not sure if they want to kill either

* So he tries to find some way to get everyone to suspect those two specifically

* Him as Mafia is pretty good??

* Though he gets more serious

* He can be a good liar but he doesnt do that often

* He tells the truth— unnecessary truth

* Ask him a question and he’ll find a way to word the answer as vague as possible or straying away from what he really wants to say

* He will put in unnecessary details and stuff lol

* He kills The people who seems like theyd suspect him first

Dazai Osamu:

* This fucking man is a fucking nightmare

* Hes like that one guy in Kahoot who always gets #1

* Will manipulate you, mafia or not

* Wants to see chaos

* Competitive & Intimidating #2

* Everyone always suspects him first lol

* He manages to convince most of them hes an innocent (as mafia or if he really is)

* Bro was in the mafia. Literally. So he knows how to get through this

* Him as Mafia is your sleep paralysis demon

* He kills Kunikida first for the laughs, sometimes Atsushi

* Doesnt change behaviour much— honestly its hard for them to find difference because hes always so,, yk,, Dazai-y. Yk, puts up the same act

* Him as innocent is honestly the worst too

* Because he ACTS like hes the mafia

* honestly sometimes hes the moderator

* But hes so talkative lol

* “my name is god. And you *points at someone* are dead”

* “apparently, someone who is not god decided you should die”

* Not that its a problem though, its really cute

#forgive me i did this at like 12 am #also its been a while since i wrote for bsd #bsd headcanons #dazai osamu headcanons #kunikida Doppo headcanons #atsushi nakajima headcanons #yosano akiko headcanons #ranpo edogawa headcanons #junichiro tanizaki headcanons #naomi tanazaki headcanons #kenji miyazawa headcanons #kyouka izumi headcanons #bungou stray dogs headcanons

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xxxsoukokuxxx · 3 years

Text

Mori and Yosano's Relationship ft. Elise - Analysis

Analysis

Characters: Mori Ougai; Yosano Akiko; Elise

Warnings: Pedophilia (?); Dark themes; BSD Manga Spoilers (mainly chapters 65 & 66)

Notes: @jessbeinme15 Thanks for sending a request! I apologize for the long wait. You have made an interesting point and I never knew how interesting and dark the thing between Mori and Yosano is. So I was actually really excited to do this, and yes Elise does seem somewhat older during The Great War than what she is presently but more on that later in the analysis. Alright, let's do this!

______________________________________________

So we learn in Chapter 65 - 66 that Mori and Yosano had a past, and might I say a very dark, traumatizing one (for Yosano). The chapter starts off with Yosano flinging a chair towards Mori's direction in a fit of rage at Mori's 'plan' as he says that The Agency will split up and live out the rest of their days in hiding. Yosano believes he has no intention of saving them and thus says that his plan of "transferring someone from The Detective Agency" is practically a load of crap.

I partially think that Mori's only aim was to get Yosano back and work for him in the mafia, considering it'd be a real game changer (I'll explain how later on).

Mori's (unusual) Possessiveness Over Yosano and Similarities of This With Elise

14 Years ago prior to present events, it was near the end of The Great War. We meet 11-year-old Yosano and 26-year-old Mori, Yosano being a Military Hospital Scholarship Student and Mori an Assisstant Military Physician - First Class. It's clear already that Yosano is a feisty one and Mori...well he's Mori. There is panel straight after they are introduced where everyone (soldiers) cheer for her after she has healed them with her ability, 'Thou shalt not die'. And then there's this:

So it seems quite obvious that he is possessive of Yosano, calling her "My Yosano-kun" with a dark, threatening aura, which she disapproves of and argues she isn't something of his and threatens to bite his ear off. After Yosano's "brattyness" he becomes silent for a moment before:

In this panel some of us may see parallels between the way he treats and reacts to Elise now and 11-year-old Yosano then. He seems to find their behavior rather cute and endearing exclaiming that "This fortitude...it's amazing..." which of course Yosano finds weird. Mori seems to have been more successful in treating present Elise in such a way because Yosano, although having the same feisty nature, is a little different.

Yosano then sees a soldier (Tachihara's older brother) and a little conversation flows back and forth between them, Yosano saying that he should be back on the frontlines after being healed instead of "reading a novel". He expresses his gratitude by summoning a golden butterfly from the book of poetry he was reading and its placed as a hair clip on Yosano.

The soldier keeps on showing her his gratitude, calling her "Miss Angel" and he seemingly smiles a lot at her and at which we can see Mori disapproves of, a lot:

As I said, he is possessive of her, just as he is with Elise presently. Elise is Mori's ability, but if anyone ever dared to try anything with her I'm sure there would be dire consequences. Now we get to the part where Yosano (her ability rather) would be a real game changer in war and Mori's intentions.

How Mori Plans to Use Yosano as Game-changer to Fight Wars

I'm not sure whether it is canon or not if Mori is a pedophile but he does seem like one (he even says "he's weak to little girl's wishes"). This may be true but he also has a hidden agenda for Yosano.

Mori wrote an essay to the emperor on "An Immortal Regiment", in which it states that Yosano has an ability which can change the world (the world of war and game theory/strategies) , the European powers have realized that using ability users to fight wars is a game-changer, and that it's urgent that they prove the worth of that strategy to the top brass of their military to avoid falling behind.

Obviously, at this point of time in this chapter Yosano knows nothing about this and when Tachihara's older brother explains this she questions it and exclaims she's only come there to save lives, to which Mori holds her back.

And that's where we see Elise after Mori asks her to take them to the patients Yosano needs to heal, but the whole thing about Elise will be discussed under the next heading.

In short he plans to use Yosano or rather her ability to change how war works and later on we find out, to overthrow the previous Mafia Boss as well. As long as she was there, the soldiers would never be able to leave the battlefield no matter the mental trauma. It was their psychical self that mattered to Mori so that they can keep on fighting the war without any delays or retreat.

Fortunately enough, Fukuzawa saves her from this and Ranpo gives her a new hope.

Elise's Age During The Great War and Presently

I understand what you mean when you say she looks older during this war:

...compared to now. Perhaps Mori wanted her a bit younger, he can control her after all, however I am not certain if he can change her age. All I can say about this is that, yes she looks older and might I say much more mature during the great war but! I have something else to point out. Her eyes. They look...as if she is hypnotized, it seems to me that she is not acting out of her own will but rather Mori's complete control. And she even calls him "Master".

Conclusion

Overall the relationship Mori and Yosano have is pretty messed up. I feel Yosano holds resentment and a lot of held-back anger for Mori (she has every right to). While Mori only sees her as a mere pawn to use in a cold-hearted game of chess. First he wanted to use her as a pawn in his game-changing war strategies and such and then he wanted to use her as a pawn to overthrow the "King" or otherwise known as the Previous Mafia Boss.

And since he wants to get her back and work under him in the Mafia, he can fulfill what he previously wanted to do and it is the optimal solution to him. That's all I have and thank you for reading, I hope that this was clear and made sense. If there's anything I missed out feel free to tell me and I'll see what I can do.

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cafeinthemoon · 2 years

Text

More Myself Than I Am - Chapter II

Chapter 2/?

Wordcount 3,5k

Title A Good Guy

Fandom Bungo Stray Dogs

Pairing Ryuunosuke Akutagawa X reader

Previous chapter

Symbols ⭕ . ➕ . 💛

Warning (s): brief mention of panic attack in a public space

Tagging @lasidollily @darling-imobsessed (if you want to be tagged in any of my stories, just send an ask or a message 😉)

N. A.: So he's finally among us! Yay! I hope I haven't failed in giving Akutagawa a proper introduction, though this story is simple, direct if compared to other stuff I've wrote before. In this one I want to concentrate in the facts above everything, without leaving the passionate trait of my personal style aside though. Since there's some mystery included, things and people will be introduced little by little, maybe not with the same richness of details from other stories of mine, but just enough to make them important to the whole.

Also, about their names: I know, I KNOW the BSD Japanese characters have the names of Japanese writers, but there's a reason why I chose non Japanese names for my original characters, as you will see.

Anyways I hope you enjoy this new chapter :)

While you cleaned the tables, you were silently thanking the calmness inside the bakery at the last hours of that day: most of the costumers already left, and the few ones still there were preparing to go.

Your boss and your team mates didn’t make any comments, but they sensed you weren’t in the mood for conversations. Two days passed since Virginia’s last crisis and you were still embarrassed for suddenly requesting a day off in order to stay with her. Since things were complicated those days because of the employee on vacation, you knew you were granted with a big favor – but you didn’t like how it felt: most of your colleagues were familiar with your situation and even understood it, but it was always a reason for tension, at least on your side. When those episodes happened, you would always try to compensate working twice as hard and not causing any problems, but that didn’t contribute much to your relief.

On the other side of the street, the sun was almost gone behind the buildings; as you saw it through the glass wall, the redness of its last rays would spread as a vivid background to the rosy, thick clouds above. People were now going back to their homes, some of them entering to buy treats for their children or for themselves, then leaving quickly.

That day left a strange feeling in you, not only for the already mentioned reasons, but for something else. Everything was the same, of course, but you couldn’t shake the idea that something was missing. Were you forgetting to do some tasks or anything?

You were finishing the cleaning session before the end of the shift now, and were back to the thoughts about your sister. While you stood with her the other day, you noticed some strange marks on her skin, like the ones one gain when they bump into the furniture or such. You were going to ask her about it, but other matters kept you occupied and you forgot the fact, only recalling it now. Did she talk about it to the doctor at some point? This could explain why he prescribed a medicine that worked for physical pain… You sighed. Your head has been so noisy those days that from time to time you had to stop it before you got paranoid.

The sound of the front door being opened pulled you out of these thoughts. When you turned to it and saw who was coming in, a silence took over your mind and your surroundings as well, for you understood where that sensation of lacking something was coming from.

You still haven’t seen him today.

Through the door passed a young man dressed in a black coat with high collar, having a white jabot around his neck and frills of the same color covering his wrists, setting off the natural paleness of his skin, only visible on his hands and face, this latter framed by his short, dark hair that ended in thin, greyish locks on each side. Grey was also the color of his eyes, above which he had a pair of light eyebrows, almost absent; his thin lips, as pale as the rest of the skin, only emphasized the serene dignity in his posture.

In fact, it was a curious appearance: one could say he was a hero who escaped from the pages of a gothic novel, but his modern hairstyle would leave no doubts about his true place and time. When he entered the bakery, some people glanced toward him, but the not so friendly look with which they were received was a quiet sign for them to go back to their own business.

When he closed the door behind his back, his gaze passed through the place and stopped on you; your cheeks burned and you were forced to look down to the table.

You continued to work while hearing his slow steps toward it, only raising your face when he spoke to you.

– Evening, y/n-san – he nodded.

You replied accordingly.

– Evening, Akutagawa-kun.

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke was his name. He used to come earlier and spend some time on the same table – that one you were cleaning right now – enjoying his own company with a cup of tea and a treat while observing the people outside.

You still remember, it took weeks of frequent visits until you discovered your respective names. You also found out he was one year younger than you and had a sister; you even suggested him to bring the girl one day, but until that moment he only appeared alone.

Despite his reserved manners, he was the one who first introduced himself. It was funny, now that you thought of it: since his first day there, he took the initiative in every interaction between you, from asking to be served by you to engaging in conversations that would only last until the second or third question and answer. However, months have passed and he still maintained the formalities of the beginning. If you were asked about the reason behind his preference for your services, you would say you hadn’t the slightest idea, but since no harm came from this strange friendship you just followed the etiquette and gave him the good treatment a loyal costumer deserved.

You asked what he was going to have this time and he replied he wanted the same, except for a bottle of water instead of the usual tea. You were about to offer him the table, but he explained he wouldn’t stay that time and asked for a plastic bag to keep the order. You arranged everything and gave it to him.

After thanking you for this small gentleness, he found appropriate to exchange a few words with you before heading to the exit...

But the way he did it made your eyes widen a bit.

– You didn’t show up yesterday.

Though there was politeness in his tone, you couldn’t help sensing a demanding trait in it. What an uncommon way to express preoccupation, you thought to yourself.

Still, you told him the truth.

– My sister had a crisis, so I took the day off to take care of her.

– I see – he replied – I hope she’s feeling better now.

You smiled.

– She does. Thank you.

– Did you call the doctor?

– Yes – your fingers clenched around the cloth you were using to clean the table – He prescribed some medicine, which she’s going to take for this entire week.

Akutagawa was the person who gave you the doctor’s number. There was this day when you came to work moments after helping Virginia with a crisis and tried to concentrate on your tasks as best as possible, but your uneasiness didn’t go unnoticed by him. When you told him what happened, he gave you a small card with the doctor’s name and phone and told you to introduce yourself mentioning his name in case you needed his services.

When Virginia panicked again, you were in the middle of a street, with no apparent source of stress or triggering elements around. The first thing you remembered was the card.

This was the conversation you had on the phone:

– Hello?

– Hello? Is this Dr. Ougai’s number?

– Yes. Who is it?

– I’m y/n s/n. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke gave me your number. He’s a client of mine. I have my sister with me and she’s having a panic crisis. We’re far from home now… can you please come and help us?

– Of course. Tell me the address and how she’s feeling now.

You gave him the requested information and stood with Virginia until he arrived.

You always thought you haven’t appropriately thanked your costumer for such favor, so you took the opportunity now.

– It was too gentle from your part to indicate him – you commented – He’s been helping us a lot these months.

Akutagawa didn’t give you a verbal response, but nodded in acknowledgment. He was about to leave, but still had a request.

– May I ask how long you will stay before your shift ends?

You were a bit surprised, but didn’t refuse to answer.

– A few minutes. We're already finishing here.

– Would you mind if I walk you home? – and, as if justifying his request in face of your surprise, – I've heard that some delinquents have been seen around lately. It is already getting dark. It might be dangerous to walk alone.

You didn’t make any effort to disguise your feelings when you sensed the warmth raising to your cheeks: that was the first time he suggested anything outside the bakery. It was curious, even funny, how things worked with him: his quietness could be taken for shyness by someone who is not familiar with him, but once you established some bond, his honest, direct manners would show, and you would end up understanding that he was far from shy. Akutagawa’s line of action was a counterpoint to your own hesitating nature, and despite not having him as an intimate friend, you found some sort of comfort whenever you interacted with him, as if the daily stress, the countless minutiae around which you were often trapped had no importance when you spoke to each other.

And as a sign of respect for this feeling, you could only give him a positive answer.

– It would be good to have company.

It was then decided that you would organize your things while he waited for you in the bookstore on the same street.

***

When you entered the store, you went through the shelves looking for him, but he was nowhere at sight.

You passed by a shelve with classics, still looking around, until a book caught your attention and you stopped to take a look at it. It was indeed a beautiful work: a reddish-brown hard cover decorated with a delicate floral pattern on the edges and the spine; the title, carved in golden lettering, shared the front with an oval illustration of a countryside landscape, with the silhouettes of a young couple under a tree and a mansion on the top of a hill in the background.

You were so fascinated with the volume that you almost forgot why you were there…

But you were soon reminded.

– Wuthering Heights. Hm.

You startled a bit when you heard him mumbling over your shoulder, but smiled at the fact that he was familiar with the title.

– It is the best and the worst book I’ve ever read in my life – you commented without taking your eyes off the cover – It’s a beautiful story about terrible people. But can we say we’re better than them?

Akutagawa seemed to think of this.

– Sometimes I’m tempted to think we’re worse.

Despite being familiarized to his steady speech, you weren’t expecting such comeback: that was the tone of someone who knew what they were talking about. Was he referring to himself, or to some people he met? If you were a closer friend to him, you’d certainly ask, but you had to keep silence about it out of respect for the circumstances.

You spent a moment looking at the cover, then turned to see the back. You found the price tag... and swallowed.

– I really wanted to buy this edition, but I guess I’ll leave it to another day – you put it back on its place on the shelve – Shall we?

He nodded, not without a last look at the book, and followed you outside.

***

There was less movement on the sidewalks now. The sky was yet to be covered by the blackness of night, but the streetlights were already working: under them, some workers were still heading home, and the sellers were saying goodbye to their last clients before pinning the closed signs on their doors. The streets would be darker and quieter if it wasn’t for the traffic; at some point, a horn was heard, followed by loud swearing: an accident almost happened, but soon the cars moved away from each other and the case was forgotten. You were still looking at the street when a cat appeared out of nowhere and crossed your way, disappearing into an alley; you stopped right before stumbling in the animal, then chuckled at your own distraction.

None of this were new to you. That was what you would find in all the evenings after leaving the bakery. Your eyes were so used to those things that they were no longer seen by them. That time was different only because you were not alone: the quiet presence of Akutagawa somehow changed your impression of everything, as someone who introduces a stranger to their personal space, allowing him to discover a part of their daily life that though had moderate importance, would help to understand who they were outside their usual meeting point.

You didn’t talk much, yet there was no embarrassment between you. Instead of the expected strangeness of a first encounter in a new environment, there was curiosity: why did he choose to walk you home that day and not before? Was he expecting something? Should you ask him about it? Well, truth is that a conversation that starts with such questions would be rather annoying, so you soon left them aside.

At first, you limited your sentences to indicate the directions you should take, while he would make simple, brief questions about the places you were passing by.

– So… you always take this very path to come and go?

– Most of the times, yes. I change it once or twice a week, when I need to go to a store or have other appointments.

– It’s quite a walk.

– I agree. But I don’t have many opportunities to work out, so I walk as much as I can – and after a moment in silence, – Sometimes, when I am too tired, I take the bus and reach home in five minutes or less. But, if I’m being honest, walking alone through these streets is my way to rest.

Akutagawa didn’t reply to that, less because he didn’t know what to say than because there was nothing to add. You didn’t mind it: part of the comfort you felt in his company came from the fact that you both recognized your inability in making small talk, even if you’ve never said a word to each other about it.

At some moment, you heard him cough. He reached for the water bottle right after. You waited until he put it back in the bag to say something.

– Your health seemed okay in the previous days.

Contrary to the expectations, he showed no irritation towards the subject.

– These good periods happen from time to time, but my condition is chronic. It is a consequence from the environment in which I spent part of my childhood.

You didn’t ask for details nor questioned where he used to live. Wherever this place was or how long he had to live in it, it didn’t matter now; all he could do was to take care of what remained form his health now, even if it was little. That was something you sort of respected in him, too: the practical treatment he would give to most of the things. In one of his first visits to the bakery, he had a coughing crisis while you were serving him; the first thing you did was to offer him a glass of water, which he accepted, and since then you would bring water alongside his orders, unless when he said it wasn’t necessary.

You crossed a street and recognized the top of your building ahead.

– We’re almost reaching my home – you indicated the building – It’s in the next corner.

You were approaching the entry when you saw a group standing on the sidewalk, engaged in a cheerful conversation: the first, a girl with curly, brown hair, wearing an elegant dress with flowing skirt, had her arm entwined with a young man’s, a bit older than her; the man, a blonde, tall individual with a large smile and a high pitch tone, was now occupied in telling some funny story to her and to the second girl, a brunette creature with her hair tied in a high bun and dark blue clothing.

You recognized your sisters and Virginia’s boyfriend, Arthur.

The three interrupted the chatting and greeted you with gentleness, but were a bit surprised to see you had company.

You made the introductions.

– Guys, this is Akutagawa Ryunosuke. He’s a client at the bakery. Today he offered himself to make me company on my way home.

Arthur said a low “Evening” to the other man and the girls gave him modest smiles. Akutagawa nodded at them.

You turned to him.

– Akutagawa-kun, these are my sisters, Virginia and Frances, and this is Arthur, Virginia’s boyfriend.

Arthur opened his largest smile and was the first to speak after the formalities.

– Hey, y/n-chan! Virginia-chan needs to cheer up a bit, so we’re heading to that new restaurant at … Street. Wanna join us? – and turning to your partner – The gentleman can come if he wishes, too!

Akutagawa’s gaze turned to you, waiting for you to reply first, which you did.

– I’m sorry, Arthur, but I’m tired. We had one less member in our team today so I had to work twice as hard – and adding a smile to compensate the group’s frustration, – You three, go and have fun!

As you imagined he would do, Akutagawa made his decision according to your own.

– Thank you for the invitation, but I have my own appointments as well. Goodnight – and turning to you – See you, y/n-san.

You smiled in response.

– See you. Get better.

He mumbled a “Thank you” and left with steady steps. There was a second of silence after that and, before you could find an excuse to enter the building, the conversation continued.

– You have such a lovely clientele, my sister-in-law – Arthur commented, raising his eyebrow in a manner that didn’t please you at all – But I bet he’s a good guy. There are a few who do small favors like this to a girl they barely know nowadays.

You wouldn’t describe your own connection with Akutagawa that way. It was true that you weren’t the closest friends, but you weren’t strangers to each other as Arthur suggested. In any case, you sensed it would be useless to try and explain this to him or to your sisters, so you decided to not reply to that.

You were about to pass to the front door and end the talking, but you couldn’t ignore when Frances added a comment that was certainly lingering in her tongue since your client turned his back on the group.

– Maybe he enjoys acting like he’s in the wrong century, Arthur. Didn’t you see those clothes? – she chuckled – Who are you to judge?

Arthur shrugged, oblivious to her cunning tone.

– And who said I’m being judgmental? I’m just pointing a fact!

Sometimes Arthur’s lack of perception – or the purposeful cluelessness in his attitude – used to irritate Frances to the point she would stop speaking to him as if he wasn’t even there, then find someone else to continue her train of thought. That time, she chose you.

– By the way, why did you wish him to get better, y/n-chan? Is he sick?

You gave her a brief reply.

– His health is fragile, that’s all.

The girl frowned, not satisfied.

– I see. He indeed looks like someone with consumption.

That comment, though the seriousness in which it was made, provoked in you an angry that scared even yourself, for it was a feeling that you only thought to be possible in case Frances has insulted an intimate friend or a lover of yours.

Now, you really had to end that conversation.

– Well, whatever it is, his condition is none of our business, since he doesn’t talk about it even to me. But you don’t need to worry, because he’s not helpless in this sense – you turned to Virginia – Dr. Ougai, who treats you, is his friend. He was the one who indicated his services.

Virginia’s eyes widened a bit in genuine surprise, since you haven’t share this fact with her until that moment, but she didn’t say anything; she wanted that chatting to end as much as you. Frances opened her mouth and closed it again, only managing to mumble a “Well...”

Arthur, though he swallowed when Dr. Ougai’s name was heard, was the one who had the most decent reaction among the three.

– So, it seems that he has been a great help for you, girls – and with a cheerful laugh – A gentleman, really!

You passed by them and headed to the door, again wishing them to have fun.

When they moved away on the sidewalk, you glanced to the direction took by Akutagawa to see if he was still under your sight. And for some seconds, he was: you saw when a black car stopped beside him; he opened the right door, on the back seat, and entered.

The car moved and disappeared after turning a corner.

#bsd akutagawa #bsd x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa ryunosuke x reader

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along-came-atsushi · 3 years

Text

BSD Mayoi’s Tarot Cards

I really liked BSD Mayoi’s approach to the tarot card theme and the beautiful artwork they put in there. Therefore, I decided to take a closer look at their meanings and to see if it fits with the chosen character.

All used cards belong to the Major Arcana tarot cards. The Major Arcana represent life lessons, karmic influences and big archetypical themes that influence a person’s life and the journey of their soul. They are the symbol of human consciousness and the key to life lessons. The Major Arcana include 21 numbered cards, starting with The Fool as the number 0. A Major Arcana in a tarot reading means that the person must reflect on the life lessons or that they are currently experiencing this time.

The tarot cards’ meanings and interpretations depend on and changes whether it’s upright or reversed. That means every card has positive (upright) and negative (reversed) meanings and their interpretations are heavily based on context. For example, The Fool in a reversed (negative) interpretation doesn’t simply mean that the person who gets the tarot reading is stupid, but that they might be in a point in their life where they have to decide something important and are reluctant to do so. Justice in an upright (positive) interpretation doesn’t simply mean that the person is righteous, and so on.

Besides their general meaning, the tarot cards also have a meaning for specific aspects of human life: health, spirituality, love and relationships, career and money. For this meta I’m focusing only on their general meaning.

I’m going to show and quote the character’s reaction to their assigned tarot cards first, then describe the card’s design, explain their general meaning and lastly compare it to the character’s personality, relationships and ability. The original cards’ description is based on Rider-Waite’s “Pictorial Key to the Tarot” card guide and can vary with other cards’ designs. Please note that Mayoi has either left out or changed some elements in favor of their artistic freedom.

All information in this meta has been gathered from my research of several internet sites. I really had fun with the way I wrote this meta, so if we’ll ever get more characters as tarot cards, I’d very much like to continue this series.

[Beware: Spoilers for the Hunting Dogs/Decay of Angels Arc!]

Atsushi – The Fool

Memo:

Nakajima Atsushi as The Fool tarot card. While initially surprised by the name of his card, after learning of its interpretations, he seems to be deeply moved as he looks back on his past.

Quotes: - “The name of this card, ‘The Fool’, surprised me at first, but I see it has positive meanings too! I'm kind of relieved...” - “It also stands for ‘freedom’. Hm... Compared to my old self, I can learn a lot of things, everyone from the Agency is by my side... and I can decide my own path...”.

Description:

The Fool usually gazes at the sky and the universe. Atsushi’s gaze is turned towards the viewer, probably a design decision. But he has his head lifted up towards the sky, still implying the original direction of The Fool’s gaze.

He carries his bag with a branch that rests on his shoulder and the bag contains all the things that he needs. Since it’s not big, it could mean that he either doesn’t need much or that he doesn’t own much to begin with. The white rose on his bag symbolizes purity and innocence. The white dog to his feet symbolizes loyalty and protection.

Normally, The Fool is seen to be at the edge of a cliff, unaware that he could fall into the unknown. Behind him is a mountain, symbolizing the challenges that are about to come. But he doesn’t care about these things right now, he’s focused on starting his journey and to learn the lessons that he came to learn.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: (new) beginnings, freedom/free-spirited, adventure, travel, originality, innocence, foolishness, carelessness, idealism, youth, spontaneity, lack of commitment.

- REVERSED: recklessness/risk-taking, carelessness, negligence, stupidity, distraction, apathy, irrationality, lack of fun/hope/faith, holding back.

Atsushi’s reaction at the meaning of his card is not surprising, since the word “fool” is not associated with positive meanings. The Fool in tarot is interpreted as the protagonist of a story and the Major Arcana is the path he must take, which is also called “The Fool’s Journey”. Along his way he meets new teachers and new life lessons and unveils the great mysteries of life. He eventually completes his journey reaching The World card.

Despite its name, The Fool is generally a positive card and the change it brings are seen as a welcome one. It indicates new beginnings, which means that someone is on the start of an exciting and unexpected adventure. On this adventure, The Fool may take a leap of faith, but will grow through this as a result. The adventure may not only be mental, but also physical, where The Fool has to travel to a place they’ve never been before.

Reversed, The Fool still means new beginnings, but it can signify that the person is reluctant to start their adventure or to jump into their new experience. It can indicate that the person is living in the moment, but that they behave recklessly towards others in their excitement.

~ ~ ~

This fits Atsushi, since he is the protagonist of BSD’s main story and his journey starts without him knowing about all the things that are about to come (positive and negative).

Atsushi’s past experiences in the orphanage as well as his isolated upbringing make him somewhat unaware and naïve about the world he lives in and its rules. He is unsure in his own capabilities and hesitates to take a new path unfolding before him (e.g., him joining the ADA). The new beginnings, as well as the dog symbolizing loyalty and protection could be a give and take symbolization for Atsushi. Meeting several characters in his life (especially the ADA members) offers him a new beginning, but he also stands in as a new beginning for these characters.

He is loyal and protective towards people who are important to him, but they also believe in him and are loyal and protective towards him, too. During his journey he takes a leap of faith in trusting in characters that were on the antagonizing side at first (Lucy, Akutagawa, Fitzgerald) and as a result, he grows through these interactions.

If possible, he likes to avoid doing tasks alone due to his lack of self-confidence and experience, which is shown when he questions himself, feels distressed or tries to avoid tough situations. Whenever the situation forces him to rely on himself (e.g., infiltrating Moby Dick) he comes out of it having learned a new lesson. His journey doesn’t only take place in his mind, but he has also physically traveled to a place where he has never been before (e.g., Standard Island).

Negative memories and experiences are something that hold him back throughout the story and make him hesitant in his decisions (e.g., the headmaster’s voice in his mind). He acts recklessly and careless in stressful situations, which causes him to tap into other characters’ traps (e.g., when he was under Q’s curse). During these situations he is not able to move on on his own and needs the help of others (e.g., Dazai scolding him). But he slowly realizes that he is now free from those past circumstances. He embraces the good things in his life and with this gradually moves on from his past.

Yosano – The Empress

Memo:

Yosano Akiko as The Empress tarot card. While she is not particularly interested in the divination aspect of tarot, she seems to have noticed the similarities between herself and The Empress.

Quotes: - “Tarot, yes... I am not at all interested in the overly uncertain aspects of divination, but The Empress has a rather beautiful design. I like it.” - “Apparently, The Empress is associated with vitality. Fufu, ‘vitality’. I like the sound of that.” - “I can only treat humans. And even then, I cannot treat all humans. I cannot control the vitality of the land like The Empress. Even so, I must do what I can.”

Description:

The Empress sits on a throne as representation of her dominion over growing things. She wields a scepter with her left hand, which represents her power over life. A shield is placed at her feet, the eagle on it is the heraldic emblem of the Holy Roman Empire. She wears a crown with stars, showing her connection to the mystical realm and the cycles of the natural world (usually there are twelve stars, symbolizing the twelve months of the year and the twelve planets).

Golden wheat grows in the foreground, framing her figure and indicating the abundance of harvest. The background is adorned with mountains, instead of a forest as in the original design. The depiction of nature in The Empress’ card signifies her connection with Mother Earth and life itself. She rejuvenates herself by the energy of nature.

The figure of The Empress is often depicted as a pregnant woman, her robe is patterned with pomegranates, the symbol of fertility. She is also mostly adorned with the symbol of Venus (that is sometimes shown on the shield instead of the eagle), which is the epitome of love, creativity, fertility, beauty and grace.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: Pregnancy, fertility, motherhood, sensuality, nurturing, creativity, beauty, femininity, nature, harmony, art, abundance.

- REVERSED: Insecurity, infertility, lack of confidence, lack of growth, overbearing tendencies, disharmony, negligence, creative block, dependence on others.

The Empress represents femininity and motherhood. Parents-to-be (mothers as well as fathers) who receive this card are encouraged to build on their communication with their children and to show them their nurturing side. However, even if the person is not a parent The Empress’ message stays the same.

It tells you to embrace your softer side and to listen to your emotions and intuition. People, especially those in need of empathy and compassion, will be drawn to you and you will be able to provide them with your nurturing. Not only does The Empress represent the creation of life, but also of romance, art or business. She symbolizes the emergence of an idea and the need to be receptive to change.

When The Empress appears reversed it tells you to embrace your feminine qualities. This also applies to men, as it is believed in tarot that all humans have masculine and feminine energies that need to be brought into balance. It signifies that a person may have been suppressing or neglecting their feminine side that needs to be embraced.

A person may be too focused on the material and mental aspects of their life and has disregarded the emotional and spiritual aspects. They may be putting the needs of others before their own or they may feel emotionally overwhelmed, so that they neglect the people important to them. It is advised to shift your focus in these situations and to ground yourself to get back to your inner balance.

~ ~ ~

Yosano is not associated with pregnancy or motherhood per se (since she is not a mother), but her role as a doctor and her ability can be interpreted symbolically in that way. She “creates” life or “gives birth” by bringing people back to life. She “nurtures” life by healing severe wounds.

This fits with her story arc, because she started her medical career already in her childhood. What began as a forced work during the war, turned out be a good blessing at first. The soldiers were in awe with her and her restoring ability, they were thankful and drawn to her nurturing side.

However, this turned out to be seen as the exact opposite, when the soldiers gradually experienced more trauma due to them being brought back to life over and over again. The same people now behaved hostile towards Yosano, involuntarily earning her the title “the angel of death”.

This trauma and abuse led to Yosano suffering herself, because she was forced to put the need of others before her own. This then led to her despising her own life and ability. She became visibly miserable and just a shell of who she once was, believing that she only brought demise to other people.

It was only when Fukuzawa and Ranpo found her that she started to gain hope and strength, because she was told that they were not interested in her ability, but in her kindness for others.This was the start for Yosano to realize that it’s not her supernatural ability alone, but also her mind and intentions that can help people, and marks the start of her career as the ADA’s doctor (even without her ability she is still a doctor and even without that she still values life and wants to save it).

Through her experiences she now knows the limits of her own abilities (both her supernatural ability and her abilities as a doctor), which can be seen in her reaction to her card. She still hasn’t given up on her work and duty, despite her negative memories. She won’t be losing track of herself, because she now has people at her side who truly care for her.

Kenji – The Chariot

Memo:

Miyazawa Kenji as The Chariot tarot card. He seems very interested in the illustrations of the brave horses and their chariot. The two horses depicted on the card remind him of his days back in Ihatov.

Quotes: - “The Chariot looks so valiant! And it has two horses! I bet they're good horses.” - “Apparently, one of the meanings of The Chariot is ‘the ability to take action’. Hmm~, I can't really tell, but what do you think? Do I have that?” - “I think it would be so fun if I could do my detective work with horses like the boy on this card! If I worked with horses, I feel like I'd be able to do a lot more!”

Description:

Kenji is depicted as armored warrior. His laurel crown (although heavily altered in design) symbolize victory, success and spiritual evolution. The figure of The Chariot usually stands tall inside his chariot. In Kenji’s case that has been upgraded and exaggerated to him standing with one foot on the foreside and pointing with one finger ahead. A heavy indication of taking action and moving forward.

In front of the chariot are two horses, which represent positive and negative opposing forces and duality. The two horses pull in different and opposing directions, yet The Chariot uses his willpower and sheer resolve to move them in the direction that he wants. He doesn’t need to hold reins to move, instead he controls it through the strength of his will and mind.

In the original card’s design, the armor of The Chariot is decorated with crescent moons, which represent what is coming into being, a tunic with a square, representing the strength of will and other alchemical symbols that are a representation of spiritual transformation.

The canopy above his head is adorned with six pointed stars that indicate his connection to the celestial world and the divine will. Instead of horses, two sphinxes are in the foreground. A city with a large river can be seen behind The Chariot, symbolizing the need to be in flow with the rhythm of life while charging ahead towards your goals.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: victory, overcoming obstacles, success, ambition, determination/willpower, control, self-discipline, hard work and focus, action.

- REVERSED: forcefulness, lack of direction, lack of self-control, powerlessness, aggression, coercion, being blocked by obstacles, opposition.

The Chariot upright represents overcoming obstacles through determination, focus and willpower. The person may feel motivated, ambitious and in control, therefore they are encouraged to go for what they want. There may be challenges and obstacles in The Chariot’s path, but if you stay focused and believe in your own abilities, you will be able to overcome these. The Chariot can also represent travel, as it is a means of transportation.

People who receive this card may feel like they are fighting a battle and because of that act defensively or aggressively to hide that they are emotionally vulnerable at the moment. In this case, you are encouraged to find balance between the heart and the mind. The Chariot also indicates success in sports and competitions.

The Chariot reversed means that a person may feel powerless and lack direction and confidence. They may feel put upon by others or the circumstances in their life. This can lead to anger and frustration as well as uncontrolled aggression. The Chariot advises you that you need to take control of your own destiny and to not let outside forces determine your path.

It indicates that you need to set boundaries and stick to them and to be clear about the time and resources you are willing to dedicate to others. If people in your life become too needy and demanding the person is advised to take back their own power.

~ ~ ~

Kenji starts his story by moving from the land to the city. His decision to leave his family and village, live in the city and to work for the ADA can be interpreted as him moving forward in a physical and spiritual sense. He is willing to challenge his new surroundings and grows through this as a result.

He has shown to be very confident in himself and his abilities, being the most optimistic of the group and to always look on the positive side of things. Tough situations do not worry him much, because he believes the outcome will work out just fine.This determination also transfers to other characters when they are with him and should they find themselves in a distressed situation (e.g., when he had his mission with Atsushi who was constantly worried about how Kenji does his work).

Being able to control something with his pure willpower could also be interpreted as an allusion to his supernatural ability that allows him to lift up cars or tear down stone walls on a whim. However, Kenji’s ability relies on the fact that he needs to be hungry in order to use it and the ADA members also advise to not disturb him when he is sleeping, because he will get irritated and aggressive in that state.

Kenji has been shown to not only be able to get over physical obstacles, thanks to his ability (e.g., bringing Fukuzawa out of the hospital). He is also able to encourage his peers to get over mental obstacles (e.g., his speech to the ADA when they flee from the HD).

Kunikida – Justice

Memo:

Kunikida Doppo as the Justice tarot card. Having always stood for justice and ideals, Kunikida has a favorable impression of this card.

Quotes: - “Justice... What a well-named card. The sword and scale illustrations aren't bad either.” - “I have no desire to sit on a throne, but I value fairness, which is one of the meanings this card holds. I want to uphold this as I carry out my Agency duties.”

Description:

Kunikida as the figure of Justice sits on a throne, holding a sword in his right hand and scales in his left hand. The sword points upwards, symbolizing a firm and final decision. Its double-edged blade is a reminder that our actions always carry consequences. The scales show that intuition must always balance logic and are a symbol of impartiality.

He wears a crown with a small square on it, a representation of well-ordered thoughts. His white shoes looking from underneath his robe also symbolize that our actions have spiritual consequences.

The figure of Justice sometimes is depicted in front of a loosely hung purple veil, which signifies compassion. Two pillars frame the figure, symbolizing balance, law and structure.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: justice, karmic justice, consequences, legal disputes, law, truth, honesty, integrity, cause and effect, life lessons, fairness.

- REVERSED: injustice, karmic retribution, dishonesty, corruption, lack of accountability, dishonesty, unfairness, karmic avoidance.

In an upright context, the Justice tarot card is a representation of karmic justice, legal matters, cause and effect. Justice symbolizes truth and integrity and can imply that a person may feel the urge to speak out the truth. This person values honesty and integrity in others, too.

Justice also relates to balance and signifies that an event may occur that is beyond a person’s control or their own making. In these moments Justice encourages the person to keep themself level-headed as the events unfold. It also signifies that a person is about to make a choice and that they are currently weighing all their options. In legal matters, this card shows that the outcome will be a fair and balanced result.

Reversed, Justice means injustice and the avoidance of karmic justice. It symbolizes that a person has been treated unjustly or that they are in a situation where they are being affected unfairly by the choices and actions of others. The person may feel victimized or blamed for something that isn’t their fault. Justice reminds the person to still keep their balance. If the person created the situation themself, it is advised to think about how they can react to that situation. It also signifies that the person must be accountable, if they created the situation by bad choices and actions. This means that the person should not blame others and to be more self-aware.

It can also symbolize dishonesty and that a person should not lie their way out of something or try to justify it. The person may also have hardline views in their life and prejudices the people around them. In legal matters, Justice indicates that the result will be one of injustice or that the outcome may not what the person has hoped for.

~ ~ ~

Kunikida is practically the personification of justice of all of the ADA members and justice is also something that he has been shown to think about a lot. He takes his work very professional and serious and tries to bring every case to a fair result. If he isn’t able to save people, he calls out the unfairness of the situation (e.g. when he tried to save the abducted victims in the Azure Messenger case.) This shows that he feels responsible and guilty even for events that were out of his control.

He seems to try to balance his own life by sticking to his written ideals and calls others out shouldn’t they behave in the same way (e.g. mostly seen when Dazai is neglecting his work). If he notices that people are distressed during a bad situation, he reminds them to keep their balance or he tells them to think about what they can do (e.g. to Atsushi when the Black Lizard attacked the ADA office). But he also reminds himself about these things (e.g., seen when he was told by Jouno that he felt relieved about the ADA getting caught and with this his ideals falling apart. But then he got back to his knees and defended the ADA, so that they could escape.)

When Kunikida meets new people, he keeps up his guard and distance at first, and holds prejudices about them (e.g. when he met Dazai, Atsushi and Kyouka). This can lead to him having a wrong first impression of people (negative and positive) and with this easily fall into traps (e.g., when he did not realize that Sasaki was the Azure Messenger).

This implies that he first weighs to be careful about whom he trusts (in this case a new colleague), and changes his mind about them later, once they have proven to be trustworthy.

Tanizaki – Temperance

Memo:

Tanizaki Junichiro as the Temperance tarot card. While he initially tilted his head at the card's rather strange design, he faces its mystical aura head-on. He seems to have interpreted the card's meaning in his own way.

Quotes: - “The person on this card is pouring liquid from one cup into another... What on earth for?” - “So, Temperance also means ‘harmony’. Hm, am I harmonic? Oh, sometimes I sort things out when there's a commotion at the office... so I guess I am?” - “Hmm, so it means ‘devotion’ too... The only person I'm devoted to is Naomi. To me, Naomi is irreplaceable.”

Description:

Tanizaki balances himself with one foot on land, representing the need to stay grounded and the other in the water, representing the need to be in flow. The water he pours between two cups are the symbol of the flow and alchemy of life. This was a standard symbol of Temperance as one of the cardinal virtues, as it represents the dilution of wine with water.

In many decks, the figure of Temperance is depicted as winged angel, but instead we see two feathers, probably meant as surrogate of the angel’s wings. The background shows a path leading to a mountain with a golden crown on top, but this depiction has been changed in Tanizaki’s card and the golden crown rests upon his own head instead. The crown is a symbol of taking the higher path and staying true to one’s meaning and purpose in life.

Meanings and Interpretations:

- UPRIGHT: Balance, peace, patience, moderation, inner calm, perspective, tranquility, harmonious relationships, soulmates, purpose.

- REVERSED: Imbalance, self-indulgence, excess, clashing, lack of perspective, discord, antagonism, recklessness, hastiness, self-healing, re-alignment.

Upright, Temperance indicates that a person has found their inner calm and peace. They have a good perspective on things and care about harmonious relationships. It signifies feeling content and having found tranquility. Temperance shows that a person is in touch with who they are inside and what they value.

They have their own moral compass and have learned not to get dragged into other people’s conflicts. Minor issues won’t knock them off balance, instead they adapt to the situation with a clear mind and a calm heart. Figuring out your aspirations and your goals is easier for people who get this card in their readings.

In a reversed position, Temperance means imbalance. It signifies that a person behaves in a reckless manner. The person may have lost touch with their inner calm and peace, which leads to them seeking gratification in harmful and risky ways (like alcohol, drug use or gambling).

It can also mean that the person has a lack of harmony with the people in their life and due to this the person may lash out to people close to them, which then causes them to get dragged into drama. In these situations, it is advised to take a step back and look at how you are behaving, because you may lack to see the bigger picture. Examining the root causes and working to resolve them is the way back to your inner calm and peace.

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Tanizaki appears to be one of the calmest people in the ADA. He does not get into quarrels with others, even if he is wary or hesitant about their ideas (e.g., giving in to Naomi’s demands and shenanigans, hesitating and getting tricked by Dazai to participate in Atsushi’s entrance exam).

Although, he is nervous on missions, he still takes them on with a clear mind and a professional approach. Many missions are entrusted to him alone, showing that people know that he can handle the situation just well.

His decision to work for the ADA could imply that he has found his goal and his purpose in life. His dedication to Naomi shows that he is patient and calm, and that he cares deeply for a harmonious relationship between them. Keeping her safe above all things indicates that he’s sees it as his purpose in his life, too.

However, Naomi is also his biggest weak point. Whenever she is in danger or hurt, Tanizaki gets knocked off his balance and inner calm. These situations make him hastily jump into actions and due to this he becomes an easy target for others (e.g., when he attacked Higuchi out of anger, he didn’t notice Akutagawa; when he was about to kill Mori to save Fukuzawa, he tapped into Kouyou’s trap).

Even though this does not only concern Naomi’s well-being, as he has also been shown to make rush conclusions, if other people he cares about are in danger or in a predicament (e.g., when Fukuzawa was about to die due to cannibalism; offering to join PM as exchange instead of Yosano). His work as a detective on this aspect lets him also get regularly dragged into other people’s drama, either the drama of clients or the drama of other ADA members.

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Sources: www.biddytarot.com | www.thetarotguide.com | https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_Arcana

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