#also i never know how to color videos with washed-out lighting

[bevioletskies]

gemini & fourth + favorite videos (in no particular order) ↳ praew talk ep. 60

[vanessagillings]

I love your art so much!!! I've also been starting to paint with gouache, and I'd love to know a little more about your process! What kind of paints do you use, do you sketch first or start with paint, do you paint in layers over several day or all at once?

Hi and thank you! I hope you don't mind me answering this publicly and apologies for length, but:

MY ART PROCESS!

Supplies: I use winsor and newton gouache and arches cold press paper blocks, usually 140 lbs (the lime green ones) and sometimes 300 lbs (the teal green ones). Even though this paper comes pre-stretched in blocks, I actually take the sheets off and stretch them myself because I've found arches' glue isn't as strong as it used to be. This is how you get watercolor paper to lay flat! I recommend youtubing some videos on how to do it -- there's a lot of great tutorials out there. Also, I use princeton brushes, and kraft paper tape and these boards to stretch my paper. (these aren't affiliate links, I just shop at blick)

A word about art supplies: these are the exact tools I use but everyone uses supplies differently and two people with the exact same supplies might get different results! A lot of it is about what works for you and what you like, so I always suggest that gouache/watercolor beginners just buy a few tubes from a couple of different paint companies and some small pieces of paper from different manufacturers to see what you like. Just changing one ingredient in the above has created massively different results for me, but maybe that'll end up being something you'd like! The first step in learning a new medium imo is to play. Just have fun!

ALSO: gouache isn't super light permanent, check your tubes for which ones hold up to sunlight. Here is winsor and newton's color chart explaining which ones will fade when exposed to sunlight -- all manufacturers will give you this. I only use the colors rated A and AA, and I still frame my pieces with UV glass just to be safe. Not all gouache is re-wettable, but winsor and newton is. I just put it in my palettes and refill my palettes if it runs low. AND SOME PAINT IS TOXIC. A lot of paints have cadmium and cobalt in them. I don't use any of the toxic colors, but if you do, make sure you don't eat while working and wash your hands thoroughly afterwards. This information is also usually available on manufacturer's websites. As more people are rejecting cadmium paint, you'll see more tubes labeled things like cadmium-free yellow. This is why. More artists should be aware that their tools can be dangerous. You don't need that many tubes of paint to begin, just a warm and cool red, warm and cool yellow, warm and cool blue, white and black. I have around 50 colors and use 20 regularly. I always mix all my colors myself, and never use straight tube paint. Most of my colors have about 5-6 different tube colors mixed together. If you use re-wettable paint a tube of paint will last you years; even as a professional I only buy new paints every 5 years or so.

Process: I ALWAYS start with a sketch first. Not everyone has to, but because I do illustration work -- where sometimes a client gets input on a drawing -- I always do a lot of preliminary work before I even begin to paint. At this point, even my personal work usually involves the exact same process:

I start with a 3" or so thumbnail that I scan (left; I traced it quickly digtally for clarity to myself here) and then either clean up digitally or print out and clean up traditionally with tracing paper (right):

Then I scan the cleaned sketch in and color rough it digitally (left, this was for a gallery show, so no one had to approve my color roughs, so it's messy!) then I transfer my sketch to my paper (with either carbon transfer paper or a light table), stretch my paper, and paint (right):

I obviously changed my mind about the color of the ribbon in the trees, ha, and made everything a lot more vibrant. The benefit again of gallery work is no pre-approval!

You are correct, I paint in a series of washes, going from lightest to darkest, where I apply the same color beneath all shapes that are the same warmth (cools under all upcoming cools, warms under all upcoming warms). I paint a piece usually in one or two days, depending on complexity. I didn't take pictures of the above painting, but here's a different painting to show you a little bit what I mean:

I painted the peach color under everything (and twice for skin tones), and the gray color of the sky under everything that would be grayish (the rocks, trees, her pants, her skirt, and coat). I do this to stop me from getting darker lines where two different colors butt up against each other, and also for color harmony. I have step by step photos of this in my process stories highlight on my instagram; also check my FAQ and tip highlights for more info on all this stuff. Most pieces take around 25-30 washes before I start adding in the details (sometimes I add in face details early though because if I mess those up it's not worth finishing the rest of the painting! 😅)

All this might seem like a lot of work (...it is) but I do it so that I can show clients previews of the final piece and so I don't have to repaint the finals. I also used to pre-test all of my washes on scrap paper like this:

I still recommend doing this if you're just beginning! But at this point I only do it when testing techniques because I know my paints really well. (the above was my test for the pine boughs in this piece)

Painting by far is the longest part of the process, so I do more work up front to not have to do it twice. Every piece takes about 6-24 hrs of actual work time to produce. Stretching watercolor paper takes about 24 hrs to dry, and because I sell most of my originals in galleries, they need to be flawless, so planning ahead is useful and in the end saves me time.

And to conclude this novel of an explanation, don't be overwhelmed by all the information I've given you! I put it here so that people at various stages of their artistic journey can maybe find something useful in it. But seriously, the first step to learning how to paint whether it's traditionally or digitally is just to have fun. Try it out, see what's working and what isn't, and then try to solve specific issues that you're struggling with. I've been doing this for a loooooong time at this point, but here's my first watercolor piece from when I was re-teaching myself how to paint traditionally nine years ago:

Obviously, I was destined for greatness. Ha, yeah, no. If you scroll back through my tumblr archive, you can see me learning how to use these paints in real time. And keep in mind that I'd been working digitally for years before then, and years before that where I didn't post my work online at all.

So for anyone who needs to hear it: there's no such thing as talent, just hard work, patience, and trying again and again and again...and sometimes again. What I do is a skill and anyone can learn it. Sometimes, progress is slow. I'm 38. I only really feel like my art was half-way decent starting a few years ago, but I've been making art my entire life, and I went to art school at 18. 20 years later I'm kind of figuring it out.

The best advice I can give, whether it's about art or not, is find the thing you love so much that you'll keep at it even when you suck at it, because most skills you'll suck at to begin with -- and perhaps for a long time. I sucked at art for yeeeaaaaarrrrs. On top of the usual learning curve, I struggled with fine motor control and dexterity. But I loved it so much I kept trying every time I failed. If I can do it, so can all of you, no matter what stage of art you're at now, and no matter how old you are.

Anyway, thank you to those still reading this deep in. I wish you all the best on your artistic journey. Art can kick your butt sometimes, but it's also pretty dang rewarding 💛

[tightjeansjavi]

party trick

A/N: this silly little fic is directly inspired by this hilarious post by @pedge-page 😝 this fic is meant to be silly, a little unrealistic, and fun! If that ain’t your thing, no worries! Just scroll on by, gem. Also, big thanks to @itsokbbygrl for betaing and @morallyinept for encouraging me with my shenanigans! hehe.

~word count: 1.9k~

Summary: your boyfriend Dieter wants to show you his new party trick that he learned from a pornstar named Ezra

Pairing | Dieter Bravo x pornstar!Ezra x f!reader

Warnings: fluff, smut, established relationship, mentions of drugs and eating, dieter and the reader are openly bi, implied open relationship (not described) Ezra is a bi male pornstar (definition of bi panic) (very light dubious consent as reader and dieter smoke before fucking but it is not described) male masturbation, self sucking??, reader is able bodied with no physical descriptions, readers nickname is gumdrop, no age gap, +18, minors dni!

Your first date with the ever-so eccentric, Dieter Bravo, was a success! Sure, he was a bit clumsy, and maybe even a bit of a blubbering idiot, but you had an incredible time. Did you kiss? Well—maybe! There’s a tell-tale sign when he admires the color of your lipstick against the heart shaped patch in his beard.

After that first date, he washes his face, but is careful to not remove the residue of your lipstick. Not even a week goes by and he’s asking you out on a second date.

Two dates turns to ten and somewhere down the line…you’re Dieter Bravo’s girlfriend, and you couldn’t be happier. (And neither could he)

-

Dieters plan for the evening was to throw a party with some of his friends: not necessarily a rager, per se, just an intimate get-together. Pop a few bottles, skinny dip in his inground pool, and dance under the California night sky.

He canceled his plans last minute because the only person he wanted to spend his evening with was you, his gumdrop.

Hiya, gumdrop baby! 💗

Dee! Hey, baby boy 🥰 having fun at your party?

He cheeses a smile down at his phone, dimples on display, fingers typing fast on the tiny screen, little tap tap taps echoing through the cooling evening air.

Good golly, I’m blushing 🤭 actually…I canceled the party! Just wasn’t feeling the vibes for it! Wanna come over?

Yes! I’d love to! I was just about to order some takeout. Want me to pick something up on the way?

Yes! How about veggie grill? I was just about to smoke, want me to wait up for ya? Oh! Also, I got something I wanna show you later 😉

Being in a relationship with Dieter meant that nothing he could possibly say or do surprised you anymore, but his vibrance, care-free, goofy, eccentric attitude, made him even more attractive to you. That and the fact that he was the literal definition of a trash panda. Your trash panda specifically.

Sounds good to me! 💗 did you want your usual or something different? You don’t have to wait for me, Dee! I’ll have some when I come over. Oh? What is it that you want to show me? 👀

Okie doke! Hey, how about you just order the whole menu? My treat! See ya soon, gumdrop xx. And you’ll see! It’s a surprise. Hehe.

God, Bravo. You sure know how to spoil a gal rotten! Looking forward to the surprise!

He hearted your messages before he reached behind his ear and grabbed his perfectly rolled joint and reached for his lighter that was resting on the table next to the poolside chair he was spread out on.

He couldn’t wait to see you and show you his new party trick.

-

Hours earlier in the day, Dieter found himself in his bed, boxers discarded on the floor and his fist languidly wrapped around his half-hard cock.

His freehand was scrolling through Pornhub, trying to find something to get off to. Usually it didn’t take him very long to settle on a video, but today he was finding it to be a bit of an annoying struggle.

He scrolled and scrolled till he stumbled upon something he had never seen before, self sucking?

He spit into his palm, using his saliva as a natural lubricant because he was too lazy to reach across his nightstand to grab his favorite bottle of lotion (ain’t nobody got time for that!).

Holy shit! He’s sucking himself off??

Christ, his cock is taking up the entire screen!

Dieter's private thoughts ran rabid as he watched the pornstar, Ezra, easily bend over and suck the head of his cock (which was massive, by the way) into his mouth.

“Holy fuck! How is that even possible?!” Dieter announced in disbelief.

He paused the video, and went to Ezra’s page and scrolled till he found the contact button and a direct link to Ezra’s instagram. He sent him a message:

Hey! I hope this doesn’t come off as weird or creepy (feel free to ignore) but I watched one of your videos just now…the self sucking one and DUDE, nice cock! How the hell do I do that? 🫣

Ezra responds seconds later after hearting the message,

HOLY SHIT! THEE DIETER BRAVO GOT OFF TO MY COCK? 🥵 (sorry, huge fan!) anyway, gem, I’d be happy to show you the art of self sucking, and then you too can be a pro like me. xx

Dudeee you’re a fan of me?? I’m blushing! 😉 okay, okay, I have to ask…is it all natural?

I am, indeed! You have quite the eccentric presence, gem. Oh, it’s natural alright. The gods have certainly laid their blessing upon my loins x.

Ohhh, I get it! You’re like Shakespeare? 🤣 damn, you sure know how to swing that thing around! Anyway, I will take you up on that offer! Here’s my number:

Lawl. You’re a funny one huh, gem? I suppose I am a bit like Shakespeare both with my verbiage, and my cock. You free right now?

The funniest guy around! Well, Romeo, got my cock out and everything, let’s boogie?

Boogie we shall.

And so that’s how Dieter ended up FaceTiming with Ezra: who coincidentally, also had his cock out.

“Not to be a total massive fucking flirt, but you’re gorgeous, and my girlfriend would probably eat you right up!” Dieter preened, leaning in close so he could get a better look at Ezra’s third limb, er, cock.

“Oh?” Ezra smirks, “would she now? Well, gem, perhaps the three of us should get together sometime?”

“Yes! You can be like the skunk to my raccoon!” Dieter said with a giggle.

“I beg your finest pardon? Your—what?”

“Oh! Sorry, sorry. Probably should have provided some context, huh?” Dieter blushes.

“Naturally, gem. Go on.” Ezra sits back on his elbows, listening,

“So, my girlfriend calls me a trash panda! It’s endearing, really. And well, you got that blonde streak in your hair…so you can be the skunk?”

Ezra chuckles in pure amusement, eyebrows raising, heavy cock bobbing between his thighs.

“A skunk, huh? You’re lucky I think you’re cute, gem.”

Dieter fanned his face like the little slut that he was, and giggling, “You think I’m cute?”

“Cute as a button, gem. Now, let’s see what we’re working with so that you can show your girlfriend what I taught you.”

“Yes sir.”

Ezra is a wonderful teacher and by the end of it, Dieter is almost able to suck the head of his cock into his mouth. There’s a slight strain in his lower back, but fuck it! You only live once.

“Well, gem, I think you just have to remember to relax your muscles. Pretend you’re floating on a babbling brook, or napping on a fluffy cloud, and then you’ll be sucking yourself off in no time. I gotta run, but let me know how it goes!”

“Ahh! Okay, I think I can manage that! Thanks for all the help, Ezra.”

“Anytime, gem. Anytime.”

-

After passing the joint back and forth together, fucking (a few times) and devouring the veggie grill you brought over, Dieter brings you upstairs to his bedroom, nearly stumbling over his two feet because he’s so excited to show you his new party trick!

“Sit that cute ass on the bed, gumdrop.” He’s not being domineering at all, quite the opposite actually.

You’re both naked, naturally because in Dieter’s home, clothes are always optional!

You wrap your arms around him from behind, kissing his jawline, pecking at the heart patch in his beard. “Are you gonna show me the surprise now, Dieter?”

He leans back into your embrace with a pleasant sigh, “Yes, gumdrop. But c’mon, bed. Now.”

You press one last kiss to his face before detaching yourself from around him, walking over to the bed and plopping down with a soft, oof.

He joins you moments later, laying on his elbow facing you while you reach across and card your fingers through the soft curly hairs on his chest.

“So I was watching this porno earlier, right? I did a deep scroll, and stumbled across this video of this dude…with literally the biggest fucking cock that my two eyes have ever seen!” He speaks animatedly, throwing his hands up as he leans in.

“It literally took up the entire fucking screen, gumdrop! Anyway, that wasn’t the craziest part! His cock was so big, and long, that the motherfucker was able to suck himself off! Dude barely even had to bend over, just popped that sucker right in and got to suckin’!”

You twirl a strand of his chest hair between your fingers, giggling as you listen to his dramatic retelling of the massive cock he saw.

“Shit, it really took up the whole screen? That’s insane, Dee!”

“YEAH! Like…the guy was packing a literal BAZOOKA down there!” He chuckles, leaning in so he can nuzzle his face against yours.

“Anyway, I found the guy's instagram and sent him a message because I thought to myself, ‘Damn! Imagine if I could also suck my own cock?’”

“Let me guess, you asked this pornstar fellow how you can suck your own cock like him?”

“Yes! How did you know?” He chuckled and stole a quick kiss, melting against you like the soft man that he was.

“Lucky guess?” You tease, dragging your finger down lower, skating it across one of his nipples. “So, was it a success? Did he teach you how to properly suck your own cock, Dee?”

“Well, I was actually able to barely get the tip in my mouth! Wanna see, gumdrop? S’gonna be my new party trick!”

“Show me, Dee.” You giggle, encouraging him as he quickly sits up, remembering how Ezra told him the way to curve his spine, and relax his muscles so that he can bend over just enough—

Dieter is hunched over, using one hand to hold the base of his cock, and the other is resting against his lower back for support. He’s so fucking close to wrapping his lips around the head of his cock when–pinch!

He yelps in surprise, immediately rolling over and yowling like a cat.

Ow. Ow. Ow! Fuck! Fuck me! Ow!

You're at his side in an instant, comforting him and reaching for your phone to either call 911, or look up an immediate remedy for his pain.

“Fucking pulled a goddamn muscle!” He whimpers, burying his face into your chest.

“Dee, it’s okay! You’re not dying, baby. Okay? Look! Google says that we have to treat the area with ice and then a heating pad!”

“I’M DYING, GUMDROP! I SEE THE LIGHT!” Your boyfriend dramatically groans, “I'M FADING FAST!”

After icing Dieter’s lower back for a good hour or so, you placed a heating pad against the sore spot while spooning him for extra body heat.

He was typing a message to Ezra, a deep frown set between his eyebrows because he really just wanted to know what it was like to suck himself off! (Who wouldn’t)

Hey, Ez. I pulled a fucking muscle in my back!

☹ gf is spooning me with a heating pad now, but I was really hoping that I would be able to suck myself off!

From Ezra: (Shakespeare-BAZOOKA 🍆)

Aw, I’m terribly broken to hear that, gem. Better luck next time, Birdie!

-

The next time Dieter announced to you that he wanted to try and suck his cock again, you came prepared with two yoga mats and a beginner yoga flow video (thrifted, of course).

He gives you a funny look as you set the yoga mats down in the sunroom.

“What?” You laugh, placing your hands on your hips. “It would be a cool party trick, Dee! Just gotta get you a little more flexible and bendy before we try again.”

Ohhh. He grins, dimples peeking out, “Well, let’s yogi, gumdrop.”

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[klanced]

i just finally watched the batman (2022) and need a repository for my thoughts

anyway yes i know i am the voltron blog but you all must understand. and this is key to my lore. that i am an insane batman fan. i haven't kept up with comics in recent years but i am a total sleeper agent when it comes to batman and i've been waiting literal months to watch The Batman (2022) and i finally watched it last night and have been marinating in my thoughts since. and also my parents are tired of hearing my ranting and watching me walk around in circles.

ANYWAY.

-

cinematography

this is literally the best looking batman film in years, if not the best looking one ever. the color grading was like a balm to my eyes, especially after the slog fest that is some of the other superhero movies... even with the constant rain the city never looked washed out, reeves and his set designers made such awesome choices when it came to fluorescent and neon lighting... the DINER SCENE!!!!!!!!!!! also omfg the way they made battinson the Red and Black Batman like what an excellent color combination. i loved it. i need to buy some of the theatrical release posters post HASTE.

more than anything this movie was SHOT like a comic book and so many scenes looked like they were ripped straight from a comic book, like i could visualize the paneling and everything... so freaking baller.

my family wasn't super impressed but i think it's because they expected an action movie but No You Don't Get It. batman sees the world as a gritty detective noir movie but to everyone else in gotham they're living in a horror movie and that is BATMAN CINEMA!!!!

when the riddler was arrested i was like 'wait there's still 40 minutes?' and then i preceded to have my mind completely blown. i kept questioning what reeves was doing only for him to IMMEDIATELY correct me minutes later. literally, let this man cook he knows what he's doing. when bruce lit the flare i didn't immediately get it -- and then the little mayor's boy reached for batman without any hesitation. and then the crowd began to follow him, closing the distance. and then he began to lead them to higher crowd. And Then I Got It.

-

2. gotham

yes i'm devoting an entire section just to the city.

gotham city is one of the hardest things to get right in any kind of batman media. like gotham is Not Normal and that should always be something hovering in the background. but many directors just don't bother because gotham architecture is so fundamentally different from normal sensibilities that building lore accurate sets would be both incredibly costly and almost impossible to do. but matt reeves tried and the movie was so unbelievably better for it.

bvs gotham was basically just new york city and don't even get me STARTED on how futuristic minimalistic modern the nolan movies were. ugh.

but when bruce and alfred were in their penthouse suite surrounded by fifty layers of gothic style trim my dad verbally said 'are they in a fucking church or something' and like YES DAD! that's the POINT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! gotham is supposed to be borderline CAMPY GOTHIC like the city itself is not just a setting, it's a full blown supporting character. the city looking batshit is essential lore and PIVITOL to the world building that has produced a man dressed up as a bat to fight crime like you DON'T GET IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! batman is divorced from our reality but he is GROUNDED IN GOTHAM!!!!

actually side note i've been playing gotham knights on the PC and 1) the game is way better than critics gave it credit for and 2) GOTHAM LOOKS SO GOOD IN THIS GAME. THE LIGHTING IS CRAZYYYY. best adaptation of gotham city fr, i loved the arkham video game series but the panache. the style. it became so diluted after arkham asylum fr.

my one criticism is that reeves needed to make one more rooftop set it was so silly that all the characters kept returning to the same gcpd roof with the bat signal on it.

-

3. plot

FINALLY A MOVIE WHERE BRUCE IS A DETECTIVE. i've waited literal years for this. i do wish batman had been a little bit more active/proactive in the plot, i.e. not strictly following with riddler's games, but this is also early batman so i'm more forgiving of his rookie mistakes... however in the second movie i expect him to be on his BALL GAME!!!! give me plot-armor-borderline-prescient batman PLEASE MR. REEVES I BEG OF THEE.

LOVED this adaptation of the riddler. using the zodiac killer as an inspiration for the riddler was amazing, brilliant, showstopping, spectacular. and they kept a little bit of camp in paul dano's performance which i appreciate. i don't think we'll ever go back to batman forever levels of camp, but that's okay </3

there was a nod to the character of hush in the movie (at least that's how i'm choosing to interpret it) but i don't think they could ever use hush in the future because they already adapted so much of his gimmick for the riddler... but that's okay tbh i don't think hush is that interesting anyway.

at its core the batman was a buddy cop movie and i LOVED that. jeffrey wright KILLED it as lieutenant gordon and the dynamic between batman and gordon was amazing. excellent usage of our favorite future-commissioner, you could really see they already had an established rapport but their bond was becoming even stronger... their conversation in the interrogation room was so amazing, as well as their scene with the penguin.

my one criticism is that alfred became non-existent after a certain point. also lowkey the lego batman movie did a better job at the 'bruce realizes that his trauma has made him reluctant to form bonds or deepen them because of his fear of losing anyone else' subplot. lego batman movie on top!

-

4. characterizations

everyone and their mom has already talked about how this version of bruce wayne is more focused on developing his identity as the batman versus his identity as brucie wayne so i won't repeat those essays. but i will say that i have such high hopes for bruce's development in the sequel. like the way the movie ended with him emphasizing how he needs to become a 'symbol of hope for the city' reads to me as him preparing to finally re-enter gotham society as Billionaire Bruce Wayne and i am SO READY FOR IT.

but what i actually want to talk about is how amazing catwoman's development is. i love how much backstory they gave her in this movie. i will always love the nolanverse version of catwoman but you really learn almost nothing about selina in TDKR. but in the batman selina's is this fully fleshed out character. you can immediately guess what her life has been like. and her motivations in the story... the way she was prepared to run until she found annika... and then she immediately changed gears and focused on vengeance for annika and her mother... god, i love it.

cobblepot's character was also so, so good. you can intimately tell that he's a two-faced bastard who's spent years being a yes-man purely so he can climb the social ladder. i know colin farrell is going to rock the HELL out of that monocle in the sequel.

-

5. hopes for the future

i know it's too late but i reallyyy don't want joker to be in the sequel. i unfortunately think that's more or less guaranteed though since they've already casted barry keoghan. and his performance was really good. i'm just tired of seeing the joker in batman media. (inb4 keoghan absolutely kills it in the sequel and makes me eat my hat). i don't really consider batman to have one arch nemesis, only that the joker has consistently ruined batman's life more often than all the other villains.

literally the one hill i will die on is that reeves NEEDS to include robin at some point. PLEASE. you can't have batman without a robin, he gets so lonely. literally that's all i want. i want battinson to become a dad so, so bad. you have no idea.

and (and this is key) robin must be a kid. a pre-teen aged 14 or younger. "oh but that's so unrealistic, child superheroes totally break the immersion" well I DON'T CARE. FULL THROTTLE ON THE CHILD ENDANGERMENT. let children fight crime, for the culture.

[okay, okay. make it a robin origin story where dick grayson is introduced and is plot-relevant but he doesn't actively patrol and fight crime and only becomes robin at the very end.]

introduce robin in batman 2, and then have robin be a participating older teen/adult in batman 3.

my incredibly indulgent ideal batman 2:

at least two years have passed (bruce is more or less settled and has finally hit his stride). he has mastered air gliding and now attacks villains from the rafters instead of just constantly walking out of the shadows. i want to see arkham-level combat So Bad.

selina is mentioned, but doesn't really appear (and there are no other love interests.

actually wait i change my mind about joker. joker can be included in the movie IF the red herring "main plot" is that he's using a circus as a base of operations (because clowns and circuses).

i say red herring "main plot" because the movie starts with a joker crime spree, so you think the movie is going to be all about the joker, but then he leads batman to his circus base and it turns out that PSYCH! THIS IS ACTUALLY A DICK GRAYSON ORIGIN STORY. because joker's base of operations is haly's circus.

batman is snooping around looking for evidence and that's when he comes across dick grayson, age 10.

kid dick grayson. PLEASE. PLEASE.

batman decides to visit the circus as bruce wayne. You Know What happens.

plot plot plot

COURT OF OWLS SUBPLOT.

bruce has to balance hunting down the joker while also protecting this little kid he pretends he isn't totally attached to.

this is incredibly indulgent because i have no idea how you would balance joker screentime with that of the court of owls. idk. that's what's fanfiction is for i guess c:

i have decided that over winter break i am going to rewatch all the batman movies from 1980s onwards so i can revise my Batman Cinema power rankings. i will create some kind of metric or spreadsheet so i can grade and quantify each movie.

hell i should also replay all my favorite batman video games. because those are basically just movies anyway. and i miss kevin conroy :(

thanks for reading. god i love batman.

[bread-tab]

"stop making [media] your whole personality"

ah... okay. yes. so.

first off:

there's this neurodivergent thing, where you use an interest as a filter for processing the world.

for some people that is called a "special interest," for others with different needs it is more of a "hyperfixation;" there are far more variations than i (or the field of psychology) know how to describe now. if you want to understand the difference there are people who can explain those variations better than me. but i can tell you what it feels like.

you discover something.

it doesn't matter what it is; you find something that speaks to you, something you can connect to, and it becomes a bubble of safe habitat from which you can rest from and explore and connect to all the other parts of this strange chaotic world.

a source of joy. a source of illumination.

it's like you're a person who has lived all their life in dark caves and you find something that glows.

these interests can be anything.

(literally anything; i personally derive meanings that you could never imagine from ✨ drainage ditches. ✨)

but very often, they are stories. tv shows, books, movies, comics, songs, podcasts, minecraft improv streams, cartoons, web serials, whatever

these things are:

tangible. you can hold them in your hands, replay them, turn on the subtitles, take screenshots, read the sheet music

and yet

real. they form a genuine connection from your (isolated, untranslatable) internal world to other (formerly unknowable) people and the rest of the universe

they create meaningfulness

and they exist because humans find these incredibly effective soul-deep ways of communicating to one another.

now, appreciating stories, that's not a neurodivergent thing. that's a human thing.

the point of relevance here is that experiencing an extreme love for stories is a neurodivergent thing.

it's a very common neurodivergent trait which often gets mocked, portrayed as childish, and used as a pretext for infantilization and bullying.

(and it is also a trait of young people in general, to take stories very seriously in a way that looks silly to adults, and that is something that many people (regardless of age) try to bully out of each other.

what good is that doing anyone?)

"stop making [x] your whole personality"

listen, you. get down off that goddamn embankment and climb down into this ditch with me. dip your toes in this oily water. watch the stars and city lights ripple into constellations you've never seen

now look me in the eye

you need to understand that no matter what lowbrow, cringey, problematic or otherwise not-to-your-tastes drivel you might be complaining about today,

you are talking about the phenomenon of creativity

you are talking about a transcendent catalyst of human emotion

and yes that includes the overmilked disney franchises, it includes the formulaic shippy fanfictions, it includes whatever brightly-colored cartoon this website is obsessed with this year (and will be having incredibly dramatic meltdowns over next year), it includes the cheesy action movies and the fanservicey anime and the badly-designed video games and the milquetoast tiktok "literature", it includes the indistinguishable scribbles of some random five-year-old and/or famous fine artist and/or precocious elephant

i get it. you care about real life and touching grass and shit. you have taste. just take the stilts off your horse for a second, okay?

i know you're probably sick of "let people like things" discourse

i would just like for you to stop for a second and take a deep breath, and let the stench of whatever is in this mud puddle wash over you (yeah i know, ew, but you'll be fine) and consider

what is so bad about having a cringey personality, anyway?

and maybe you will think better of making "stop making [some silly moment in the universe] your personality" into your personality and maybe you will come off as a little bit less of a snob/ableist/ass and maybe you will have a slightly better outlook on life among humans.

that's all. yeah you can get out of the gutter now. thank you for coming to my ted talk—

ooh wait, look, a bottle cap

[whydontyousaeso]

“Better in person”

You live as a cam girl, you always had made your money that way. But how does it end up when one of your top fans, and a pro wrestler, gets a date with you?

Warnings- SMUT!!! MINORS DNI!!!! Semi public sex, cam girl au (if that’s even needed)

A/n- first work to be posted here! Honestly pretty excited for what you guys think. Feel free to reblog and like, and my request are still open! Love you guys and merry Christmas!

You sat down your keys and walked into your bathroom, checking the time on your phone.

3:30

That’s good, that meant that you had 2 hours to get ready. One of your top fans had won a date with you, and while you were excited, you were nervous too. You’ve never been out on a date with anyone, so this would be new to you.

You jumped in the shower, deep washing your hair and doing your entire body clean. You knew he had high expectations, any man who payed thousands of dollars to see you naked had high expectations.

His username was rh0d3y, he had told you in conversations and private video calls that he was well off money wise, so he would make sure you were taken care of on the date.

Not that you needed it, but it was always appreciated.

By the time you finished your shower and your hair, it was almost 5. You sent him a quick text, making sure he was still good for tonight.

“Hey rh0d3y, hope you still good for tonight?”

“Of course, I’ve been thinking about it all day. Which dress will you be wearing?”

“Whichever one you want, I have some different silk dresses if you want me to wear one of them.”

“If you have a blue one wear that one, if not wear red”

“I have blue, I’ll use that one then ;)”

“Great, also the reservation will be under ‘rhodes’”

You gave his last message a thumbs up and walked into your closet, pulling out the dark blue dress you had told him about. It came down to your mid thigh when you sat down, and was a sleeveless top along with it. It wasn’t one you could wear a bra with, due to the spaghetti straps, but it wasn’t like you planned to need it anyways.

You threw on your matching underwear, a dark blue lace pair, and slipped into the dress, looking at yourself in the mirror. You debated sending a picture to him, but decided against it. You slipped your heels on and touched up your makeup, slipping a lip gloss into your purse. It was time to go, damn you were nervous.

when you got to the restaurant you were able to skip the line of people waiting and go straight to the front desk. “Hi, do you have a reservation?” The lady at the front asked, “I don’t, but my date does, it’ll be under Rhodes?” The girl tapped the screen and smiled, “of course! Follow me, he’s in one of our private rooms.”

Private rooms? You weren’t aware that they existed in the restaurant. As she lead you back a tightness started in your stomach, you couldn’t tell if it was excitement, nervousness, or just straight up lust. You hadn’t really seen him before, so for all you know it could be a 70 year old man waiting for you.

You were quickly proven wrong though. As soon as she opened the door you were greeted by a young man smoking a cigar. You saw his eyes light up as he stood up quickly. “Here you go ma’am, just let us know when you’re ready to order.” You smiled and nodded as she walked away, making your way in the room.

“Rhodes?” You asked the tall blond, “you don’t have to call me that, feel free to call me Cody dear.” The tightness in your stomach worsened, it was obvious what it was now. You nodded once more, sitting down across from him. You watched the way he moved, the way his blue suit hugged every muscle of his. It was almost unfair that he had hid this amazing body from you.

“So what do you do for a living Cody?” You asked, taking a sip from the water they had set out. “I’m a professional wrestler, like for wwe.”

“Oh really? You’re gonna have to take me to one of your shows, I’m interested now.” He smiled, looking at your outfit, only then did you realize that you were matching colors. “The dress looks amazing on you, blue really suits you” you saw his eyes darken as he looked you over.

“I’m sure it looks better up close, if you want to see.” You slid out of the booth, walking over to his side. Almost instinctively he turned towards you, opening his lap for you to sit on. You straddled one of his legs, placing your hands on his broad shoulders. One of his hands went to your waist while the other went to your thigh, squeezing both lightly.

“You look better in person than you do on camera.” He mumbled, leaning up to press his lips against yours. You moved on of your hands to his cheek, deepening the kiss and pulling his face towards yours. You felt his hands go to your ass, grabbing hard. You arched your back and moaned, pressing your breast up against his chest. He pulled away momentarily, dragging your straps down your arms, slowly exposing your tits. “I don’t even know where to start…”

“Well what are your options?”

“Fucking you dumb right now or going slow and taking my time with your body.”

“I think I know which one you want.”

He laughed, turning both of you around and laying you down on the booth. You moaned softly as the cold leather hit your bare back. You watched as Cody started taking off his jacket, but you grabbed his arm. “Don’t take it off, leave it on.”

He smirked and leaned back down, rubbing his hand up your thigh, higher and higher. “Mmm, Cody please”

“Shhhh it’s okay, I’m getting there baby girl trust me.”

You felt his hand remove from your thighs and whined. “Hey hey calm down baby girl, I’m about to give you what you want I promise.” He mumbled against your lips as you felt him undo his belt buckle, it didn’t take but a second for you to feel his dick on your clothed cunt.

“You ready darling?” He asked, moving your underwear to the side. You simply nodded and bit your lip, sure you had sex before, but nothing like this. You knew it was going to be good the moment he grabbed your waist.

He slammed into you, both of you letting out deep groans and loud moans. “God, are you always this tight?” You bit your lip and shook your head, squeezing your eyes shut as he slammed his hips into yours.

He gripped your thigh, pulling it higher up to go deeper. You were seeing stars just with him thrusting, you could only imagine what the climax was going to feel like. Not that you were going to have to wait long, he knew what he was doing.

You were lucky enough to snap out of the self pleasure mindset that you were in and snap back to reality, opening your eyes to see Cody hunched over you, mumbling dirty words and phrases in your ear. You reached around his broad figure and dug your nails into his back, hearing him chuckle.

“Is this better then any of the little toys I see you use to play with yourself? I bet it is, isn’t it?”

You could only let out little gasps for air, leaving red marks behind on his back. Your mind was foggy, and your eyes were starting to tear up. You’ve never had an orgasm that made you pass out, but today might actually be the day.

“I hope you don’t mind me cumming quick baby, if you got me on a good day we would keep this going for hours.” He grunted as he sat up to look at you.

“Just cum, please” that was all you could mumble through your hazy mind and teary eyes. You felt the tightness in your stomach become unbearable, something that had never happened before. You closed your eyes and let it snap, releasing all your fluids that had built up, causing you to scream from the extreme pleasure.

You couldn’t hear his mutterings, or see the way he bit his lip and slammed into you deeper then ever, releasing his own spurts into you. It took you everything to stay awake, you were exhausted. As both of you panted and tried to catch your breath you heard a chuckle from him.

“So would you like to start off with an appetizer darling?”

[sarahowritesostucky]

Tips for coping with depression

As someone who struggles deeply with depression, I thought I'd post these very simple but very crucial tips for overcoming a low time

FIRST AND FOREMOST, IF YOU ARE UNHAPPY ENOUGH THAT IT'S AFFECTING THE WAY YOU ENJOY LIFE, YOU'RE UNHAPPY ENOUGH TO SEEK OUT THERAPY AND POSSIBLY MEDICATION. My depression doesn't usually manifest as sadness. It manifests as exhaustion, lack of drive, and tanking self-care. So it took me a long time to realize that it "counted" as depression. If you don't have insurance, look up a therapist who is willing to do a payment plan and to see you only a couple times a year, maybe just via tele appointment. They might be able to prescribe you medications if that's what you need. I was VERY hesitant to start meds, but I tried low doses of two meds and they rapidly turned my life around.

But in addition, here are my personal recommendations:

BRUSH YOUR TEETH. Always do this first. I don't know what the heck it is about depression that makes brushing your teeth so damn hard, but it's a thing, and you'll feel better if you do this first.

START WITH A SHOWER. Once you finally manage to force yourself out of bed, please for all that is holy, just get a shower. I prefer baths, but I've heard from others that the shower part is crucial to them. Get a shower and stay in there as long as you friggin' want or can. Get some tingly mint shampoo. Get a tingly face wash. That shit is invigorating. I actually keep my toothbrush and toothpaste in the shower and brush at the end of my bath (whatever I'm depressed and weird)

GO OUTSIDE. Even if it's just opening a window or standing on your apartment's balcony for a bit. Go outside and see the earth. Go for a walk.

GET SUNLIT. get assessed for vitamin D--you probably need supplements. Purchas an indoor SAD sun lamp; you can get them pretty cheap on Amazon and just 30 mins a day with that thing makes a difference!

SUPPLEMENTS. Important and useful ones I like are Vitamin D, Ashwaganda, CBD oil, Kratom (approach with care if you have addiction issues). And take a friggin' multivitamin--you're a grownup.

ALWAYS DO SOMETHING KIND FOR YOURSELF. do something small, simple, and kind for yourself, for no reason other than it's a simple pleasure. Eat one of those tiny half cup portions of ice cream they have at the grocery store, put vetiver oil in your bath, get the overpriced drink at Starbucks you always tell yourslef you shouldn't waste money on, light a candle or get one of those misting waterfall thingies and plug it in. Watch some cat videos, do a coloring book, bake a batch of muffins. Whatever feels nice to you.

LISTEN TO HAPPY MUSIC. I'm a big fan of angsty, dark rock and alternative music, but I force myself to avoid it when I'm having a hard time mentally. Instead I listen to upbeat gym music or pop, music that sound how I wish I felt.

CLEAN YOUR SPACE. If you're my kind of mentally ill, your living space sometimes can get pretty bad. There can be are piles. Put on some of the aforementioned music and get going, one item at a time, you can always take a break or stop whenever you want.

GO TO THE GYM. People who've never really worked out don't seem to believe us gym rats, but it's true: regular exercise can help almost as much as (or more than) antidepressants!

DRINK LOTS OF WATER AND EAT WELL. I used to be a diet soda addict, okay? But water is what our bodies thrive on, and you'll be amazed at how much more awake a simple chug of water can make you feel.

CALL A HELPLINE. If you need to talk, call a helpline. It's so easy. You don't have to be in crisis mode or at the end of your rope to call, and unless you're on the phone actively threatening immediate harm to yourself, they aren't going to do anything but give you a kind ear. I volunteer at one of these helplines, which strangely also really helps with depression.

BE KIND! To yourself and others. It's free to do and worth its weight in gold to the people on the receiving end. As Ru Paul likes to say: "Kindness is the highest form of intellect."

[shutthehellupcaboose]

This person chose to remain anonymous but agreed to let me share!

This is how the writing comission goes! 🥰 thank you again to the sweet wonderful gem who commissioned me!

Description : • 0% Attention span, 100% ego

• Either hyperfixating on a craft or a video game

• Shark sympathizer

• Skincare enthusiast

• Sorry in advance for never making a decision

• If you unlock a niche interest of mine I will not shut up about it

outside of that info I'm just generally a compassionate, sarcastic human that gets a little too invested in things

RESULT:

I ship you with TUCKER!!!

A bit of an ego you say? Tucker also is a bit egotistical, but he absolutely hypes you up, he lives for your confidence and will happily cheer you on!

Sharks! Tucker loves how you like sharks, something about the way you talk about them fascinated him, sure he liked sharks before. Chicks dig sharks (or was it tanks? Either way) he loves the way you talk about them! And will happily take you on a date to the aquarium.

He may even buy a shark plushie and name it after you!

Skincare enthusiast? Tucker likes the sound of being pampered some times, maybe not to the extent of Donut of course, but usually he would just wash with whatever was around.

Tucker would 10000% let you do a full skincare routine on him, he also wouldn't mind doing it to you! But he has no idea what goes where so careful he may get the face mask in your eyebrow, he's not exactly careful, but he's trying.

Tucker does not mind making the choices if he has to, he will learn pretty quickly what you're interested in and what you like so he can give you exactly that.

Dinner? Your fave! Of course he remembered, you can't decide on colors for art? Tucker has you! He will give you his best opinion and encourage you that you know exactly what you're doing!

When Tucker found out he could get you talking about anything and everything that sparked your interest Tucker took instant advantage of this.

He would mention something offended but purposeful especially if he sees you bummed out.

Seeing you light up and start babbling about something you love only makes Tucker fall harder for you.

The sarcasm, the way you can confuse and tease Church and Caboose makes him laugh.

That's actually when he started falling in love with you.

When he heard your jokes, hearing your sarcastic remarks , yet seeing you so nice and sweet to those who needed it.

He was nervous to tell you he had a child and even more nervous to tell you that that child was a 6 foot alien baby that he got pregnant with years ago, that is literally his world.

Maybe it wasn't instant but he would tell you.

Fully ready to accept you wouldn't wanna date him after finding out.

But he felt confident and comfortable when you asked him more about Junior and even more after you called him a "good dad". Which ended up with a bow chicka bow wow from him.

He trusts you the most, and will come to you when he needs to, sometimes he just wants to hold you and maybe he just needs a few hugs here and there.

I wonder if you could make an honest man out of this aqua space marine!

[elizabethsway]

I'm somewhere between a cool and neutral color tone. Yellow and some oranges unless they are really dark do not look good one me. That being said, that's why I never went blonde.

My grampa had a full set of grey hair by the time he was thirty and I got my first grey at five. Safe to say, by high school I started getting a nice bit of white hair on one side of my head. After college, I was pretty much half and half but I had been dying it brown.

About 5 months before COVID dropped, I noticed that white/silver hair wasn't taking color well. It turned my hair a lighter brown. Later I chose a box dye of darkest brown and so you could see the ends of my hair dark brown, the middle orange light brown and the top a light brown. It looked great (note the sarcasm).

Awkward wedding photo just after final dye

As I only really dyed the scalp/top part and not the ends, I decided to hit the whole thing with the darkest color I could and ended up looking like Professor Snape for my sister's wedding. After that I stopped dying my hair. About a year and a half later I was getting an itch to dye my hair a color but liked how healthy my hair was. I never applied any heat to it or dies so mine is a little bit of hair band trauma, it was nice.

But I added in some purple dye (it was supposed to be light) trying both Arctic Fox and Manic Panic. The one of them didn't take at all one did slightly but I had to use a lot and keep it on for hours. The white hair wanted none of it and it washed out fairly quick, leaving just a glow behind.

Well after that I gave up and cut the orange from around the time of the wedding off and let the color fade. It regrew and was pretty nice looking.

Sadly, while hanging out with a guy, he asked if I dyed my hair blonde and I was like, "You're crazy. Get your eyes checked."

A week later I was checking out my hair and it did look a bit yellow from the ear down. Online it said that you can pick up pigments from Air pollutants and other things as well as hair products. I only have one hair product that they might cause discolorization which is like a Garnier Apple conditioner but it's very faint, so not sure if that's what's happening to my hair.

And given that my hair doesn't like taking color I wasn't sure how well this was going to work but I got myself a purple shampoo /conditioner 3 set pack from Matrix. I did as the bottle said and nothing. I was still yellow.

You can see some of the yellow on the strand I'm holding but the yellow is mostly ear down. This was after Matrix.

A week and a half later I got myself Brand Mondo's Supernova Blonde Toning Purple Shampoo/Conditioner and his Forcefield Heat Shield spray. Now make a note, his conditioner said it should stay on for 5 minutes and I left mine on for 2 hours, so I didn't exactly follow the procedure but I think it worked well.

I saw a video of his where he reacted to people who used purple shampoo to dye their hair. He made a comment that said somey along the lines of that he didn't know why people left the shampoo on for several hours and if anything they should do the conditioner for longer. So I decided to take his comment out of context a bit and I put the conditioner on first to almost dry but slightly damp hair and left it on for two hours before rinsing. Then I shampooed, immediately rinsed and then did the conditioner again but only for the recommended 5 minutes.

And it looks like this.

Obviously I missed some sections or maybe they were just sections they really didn't want to take, but considering the purple is so light and metallic you looking because of my current silver hair, it blends pretty well.

Also things to note. My hair is naturally dry, it doesn't really create oil very often unless I'm touching it a lot or I put my head out the window of a car as it's moving (like a dog). But I will say it made my hair feel a little dryer and because I like to play with fate, I also did not use any gloves while doing this process so underneath my fingertips there's a little bit of purple but my hands felt pretty dry. I would suggest definitely using some kind of moisturizing product on your hair if you can afterwards or doing a mask.

I also used his heat shield product but I have not actually put any heat on it yet so it might have been a missed opportunity to try that. Do I imagine it would work very well.

Here's some bad pics of me growing out my hair, pre-COVID, when I was still going into office looking like this.

Super cute.

[desfraisespartout]

10 People You Want to Know Better

Thank you for the tag @birdmenmanga <3

Relationship status: Single.

Favorite colors: Quite a few honestly. I like most shades of green and blue. But there is also raspberry pink that i can't look away from.

Favorite foods: Alfredo linguini

Song stuck in my head: Many. Depends on what I'm in the mood to listen to and to listen to in loops. One that remains good to get stuck in my head is Blue Fields from Final Fantasy 8 or Female Turbulence from Trials of Mana (Seiken Densetsu 3). (I have to admit I've started listening to the Genshin Impact OST despite not playing the game. Lovely music !)

Last thing you googled: Expiring date for condiments such as mustard... because of food poisoning i had little more than a week ago (I'm all better now). So, the fridge in under watch.

Time: 3:41 AM (I should probably go to bed... but I was still going down the rabbit hole that is YouTube)

Dream trip: Mmmm... I haven't travelled much to be honest. But as soon I get my driver's licence (one day), I'd love to visit the provinces of my country. And maybe see friends from over the border, and maybe overseas.

Last thing you read: Final Fantasy XV: The Dawn of the Future, the DLC project that got downgraded to a light novel. But I enjoyed the read.

Last book you enjoyed reading: That would be mangas... XD Magilumiere Co. Ltd is always such a treat to read. But I've been surprised by the new manga Ghostbuster Osamu.

Favorite thing to cook/bake: Apple pie in a ramekin. Quite easy to make and tastes delicious. You can use any fruits really. Just need butter, flour, a bit a water, a pinch of salt for the dough; and cornstarch and sugar (or cinnamon or vanilla) to coat the fruits in. (The only thing I don't like is getting butter or anything oily on my hands because I have a hard time washing it off. But the smell and the taste of that small sized pie make it worth it.)

Favorite craft to do in your free time: Drawing and crochet. Reminds me I haven't crochet in a while.

Most niche dislike: Mmmm................. I don't know ? I guess people vapping/smoking inside there apartment and just won't open THEIR windows ???? Like, I can smell you through the walls and the floor and it's driving nuts... Why do I have to open MY windows ???? But since I've stopped complaining since it didn't change anything and do open my windows, then there's the neighbour from the next block going out for smoke while walking and then STANDING close to my window. Why can't I just smell my own apartment ???????

Opinion on circuses: Never been to one. The video clips I could see of the Cirque du Soleil continue to impress me. The performers are athletes !

Do you have a sense of direction?  Yes. I love to explore my options and find landmarks to help me locate myself. If time permits, I would go for walk surrounding my home/school/work, so I can update my mind map of where I am. Nowadays, it's mostly home/work. I try to remember the main roads/avenues and how they relate to each other so I can find myself in case my phone dies or something. In the cities, that would be knowing the alternative routes to get back home if my subway line malfunctions and I need to take the bus. I feel proud when I can help someone orient themselves.

----

Let's see. I'd like to tag @magicmetslogic @ennobaka @jer-tan @ruidosdeperro @electric016 @jeepers-its-the-void @riinoaheartilly @dq9 Also, tagging any followers to would love to answer as well <3

Have a wonderful day everyone !

[minheeskitten]

actually while i'm here, i've only ever written really vanilla things before 🫣 do you have advice or good resources to refer to for writing spicier and kinkier content 🥺

i'd like to hear your thoughts and what you consider best practices!

Advice for kinkier content as well as spicier? Sure!

My best advice for it is. Read! So you can learn what words to use and where! And read a variety!

Find kink blogs and such. Look at the educational kink content that is out there. Never take video/audio porn as a resource. Half the time its not good anyways.

There are also kink lists that you may want to look through.

Notiv that PLEASE REMEMBER THAT EDGING AND EDGE PLAY ARE NOT THE SAME.

Edging is the act of continuously denying orgasms.

Edge play is dangerous kinks. And you must do those with risk aware scenarios otherwise it is non-con or dubcon.

Also make sure you can add in safewords as well as other safety things.

You as the wrister must be aware of what is 'safe' kink and what isn't. Any kink that could run the risk of death or injury, is one that must be done safely.

Wax play for example. It can get really easy to burn the skin if they aren't using the right wax. So make sure they'd be using low temperature wax, and have oiled the skin so its easy to get the wax off when you're done. You can include the oiling as part of foreplay.

NEVER SKIP AFTERCARE. Im sorry. Just. Don't do it. A washcloth and snacks n water is fine for some scenes but others not so much.

Aftercare for wax play; wipe off the wax, soothe any burnt skin with proper care. Make sure sub is okay. Feed, wash and water sub, and if the dom.char needs aftercare? Sub can do some of it too.

Subdrop feels *bad*. As does Domdrop. And yes. Both do occur. Thats when reassuring conversations are needed after sex. So no one feels bad after something that was supposed to feel good.

Also a good universal safeword system i see and use a lot in fics. The Traffic light system. You use it by having one person ask 'What is your color' in some way.

Red = Full stop, Scene end.

Yellow/Amber = Slow down, lighten up its too much.

Green = you're good to go!

A few other tips i have for general smut writing

Be aware of any relationship between characters before you start. Know how those characters act and think.

If writing a kinky fic, who goes where? Who is Dom, who is Sub, who is Top who is Bottom. Which leads into

Sub does not equal Bottom. And Top does not equal Dom. Yeah they can be there but if a dom is making their sub ride them, the sub is on Top and the dom is on Bottom.

Bottom/Top doesn't even indicate who receives and who gives. It just describes *where they are*. Most often yes, bottom is receiving. But not always. Be aware of this.

Use words you are comfortable with. If you aren't comfortable with any? Start making yourself comfortable.

I used to hate writing the words 'Dick' 'Cock' and other things like that. But then i started to use them. I got more comfortable. Now im working on getting comfortable with afab terms haha.

Another tip, don't describe actions alone, those get repetitive. Describe how they feel, how the pleasure builds. From nothing, to a whisper, to a normal speaking level and then finally to a shout.

That also tends to be how their voices go as well!

Make certain that you understand how human biology works before you dive into smut fics. I reccomend trying to look for as much sex-ed information as you can!

Lube, Condoms, Toys and Consent.

Always add at least one of those. In some form. Consent and lube are the most important, but you can get away with a hot story if you're not using them too.

Also; Always Always ALWAYS make sure you are into the scene you're writing. If you aren't, then the readers can tell. Trust me. And also it makes it easier to write.

I personally don't plot out my fics beforehand, sets high expectations that i never meet, so i usually use prompted writing, but not everyone can do that, so if you need an outline! You need an outline!

Another thing. If youre using male anatomy. Arousal starts as blood swells into the dick, causing it to harden, then after a bit of stimulation (can be mental or physical) they leak precome, which is a slick, clear liquid. Its also sticky. It shows that they're aroused, and thst their body is cleaning itself up a bit before they cum. Men can cum and orgasm at the same time. They can however also have an orgasm but not cum. Which is known as a dry orgasm, and can be kinda painful. I haven't heard of a man coming without an orgasm.

Women on the other hand, start slowly. Their labia will swell, and their clit will occasionally throb. They'll also get wet slowly at about this time. If it isn't, pink, slick and swollen its not a 'ready' pussy. It takes a while, so foreplay and interaction beforehand is quite important. Women have a few different ways to 'cum' but theyre not as outright as a man's. Usually it is just more fluids gushing out. But you have to figure that all out on your own. They can squirt, and that is its own liquid. It will go anywhere from just a little bit away to a bit longer than that. Im loosely aware of the anatomy there.

Takes 30-40 minutes for a girl to get aroused enough to have sex, while a guy can be ready to go in minutes.

Please make sure you have it mentioned if they are aroused at start of fic, or if not, then show that.

I do hope at least some of this helped! Noting that a lot of bdsm information can be hard to find, and hard to figure out safety for, so do ask more questions!

I know it can be hard to write kinky content at first, but you'll get there! I believe in you!

[chalkarts]

MinE now: Part 2

Fluorescents. While not as luminous nor scorching as the sun they are somehow far more uncomfortable. The angry buzz and almost imperceptible pulsations give a parasitic life to the light. Colors washed out, joy leached away, a cubicle farm aglow. A dozen other military demotees and a few renamed protected witnesses that talk too much work endlessly to keep the wheels of bureaucracy grinding along as slowly as possible, the Smiths doing their due diligence. God Bless America.

His ass hasn’t even begun to heat up the cracked vinyl of my chair when It begins.

Lewis, lanky, loud, and far too chipper for the hour fires the first shot. “Hey Maggie! You do anything fun last night?”

Maggie…they all know. He doesn’t know who told them. but they all know.

“Are there actually fun things to do in Cleveland?” He snipes back.

“C’mon man, Cleveland Rocks!” A hard gaze informs him that his banter is unwelcome so he takes the rest of the conversation back to his cubicle.

The inbox is already full. File this paperwork in triplicate. This goes to the mailroom. Why did Drew give send this here when it’s clearly labeled for Oswald? The incompetence is staggering. Every day, noble gasses bathe government ineptitude in miserable radiance. Every day, here he is, begging for an end to it all. Morning becomes lunch then afternoon. It’s getting close to quitting time. Then go can go back to his studio apartment and watch vacation videos on YouTube.

A gravel road voice rocks the office. “Maggie!! Get in here!”

Maggie. he hates that it’s become the norm. He hates himself for responding to it.

From the tone of Boss's voice, it doesn’t sound great, but at least it’s something different. He pops up to peek over the top of his cube, like a mole hoping to be whacked. His eyes are locked on him, not his mustache, him. Making his way through the cubes toward the office, glances and smirks following him to the door.

“Sit down,” The door clicks, silence. Soundproofing that could muffle a massacre plunges them into solitude. His wispy combover prevents him from being any kind of intimidating. He suspects that the Boss keeps it for the same reason he lets a world war one hedge row grow from his upper lip. It’s distracting.

The Boss sits, leaning over his desk, bidding him do the same.

In hushed tones, “It’s no secret that you hate this place.”

He tries to look surprised by the assumption. He hoped he’d hidden it better than that, “No, I don’t hate it...”

“Oh stop,” he cuts him off, “We all hate this place. You, me, the Smiths out there, you aren’t special. But you, unlike most of us, have a chance to get out of here.” Jealousy consumes his scowl for a moment before giving way to his standard air of grump and truculence. “FLAG has an assignment for you. High risk, High reward. All I can tell you now is that if you succeed, you’ll be restored to rank and given a posting of your choice.”

The possibilities explode in his mind. Getting out of here, going anywhere he wants? That is the quintessential meaning of High Reward. But what does he mean by High Risk? 30% chance of success? Does he have to jump into a volcano without a wetsuit? Are there Badgers? What exactly does high risk mean? The only way to find out is to accept. He know how this works. This isn’t his first classified assignment. He can’t see the file or any of the details until he says yes. Accept the task sight unseen. Is the risk worth it? He might be hurt, killed, or worse yet slimed…but he might also get out of Cleveland.

“I’m in.”

“Good, this assignment actually comes down from your old boss.” He pulls a file folder from his desk and slides it across the glass. “Masters was hoping you’d take this. Personnel has been tight ever since Colonel Smith took his team and went AWOL.”

“Didn’t we have a B-team in place?”

“No, we never expected them to do what they did so we never thought to double up. Now they’re gone and we don’t know how to find them.”

“Damn…” They were good men. “I don’t know why they did it, but we’ll catch up to them someday. What about your Townsend girls? I know they’re usually your first call for this sort of thing.”

“They’re down in Mexico on assignment. Might not be back for weeks. Not to be a dick about it, but you’re our bottom of the barrel.”

He opens the file and starts the quest to leave Cleveland.

It’s a bit of a gut punch to see it. Hawaii…home. A satellite photo of the islands looks back at him. The black, tan, and green piles of firmament laid out in a row contrast against the monochrome blue of the Pacific. A million mixed memories pummel his heart with minute peeks into the past that he pissed away. To the south, circled on the map, an almost imperceptible speck.

“What’s this?”

“That’s what we want to know.”

on the next page a lone island sits dead center of the image.

“One of our analysts kids found it on Google Earth. Uncharted, no one even knew it was there. We figured, hey we found an uncharted Island, can we put missiles on it? So we focused our eyes in the sky on it. Damned if it wasn’t already inhabited.”

The next page is a closer view of the tiny speck of land. Several circular buildings of varying size bearing thatched roofs dot the island. Dirt paths carved through the jungle connect them to one another, and to a dock built on the southern point near a field of blue flowers. “Satellites show It’s surrounded by a dense coral reef, but you could get a boat in there, if you were good. You might even get a ship in there if you were amazing. We need to find out what’s going on there.”

“What, exactly, do you need me to do?”

“We need recon and potential clean up. We don’t know what this is.” an exasperated shrug accents his cluelessness. “It may be an uncontacted indigenous tribe, or it might be the center of a world spanning evil organization bent on burning the earth to flinders. We hope it’s the former but can’t rule out that it��s the latter until we get eyes on the ground. Which is where you come in. We airdrop you half a mile offshore, you scoot in and get us some intel. If it’s a tribe, make no contact, bug out fast. We don’t screw around with indigenous people any more. The sentinelese were a lesson learned. If they’re evil doers, proceed with whatever you feel is the necessary course of action.”

‘Wetwork?” It’s a good question to get out of the way. Being invisible is more difficult than no witnesses.

“Only if necessary, we’re not trying to start an international incident with a bloodbath.”

“Fair enough,” He never liked killing. It’s easy to do but hangs heavy on the heart. He tries not to show that it bothers him. In this line of work, Empathy isn't necessarily frowned upon, but it will not get you a promotion so he hides the sadness behind a ridiculous mustache and moves forward.

“Back-up?” He asks, not expecting much.

“You’ll have comms and a handler but nothing on the ground.”

“Weapons?”

“Whatever you can find. We don’t want a semi auto falling into the hands of uncontacted tribes so use what you can find on the island. If you’re going to need weapons, there will already be weapons there somewhere.”

He's been there before. Wearing an earpiece, a stranger telling him the layout and feeding him intel while he reports the details back to them. Hoping to find an arsenal, maybe a medkit. It’s all pretty standard. When he finishes looking over the maps and digesting the files only one question remains.

“When do I drop?”

“Tomorrow.” He says, handing over a plane ticket to Honolulu. "You should leave now. Your plane leaves at 6, you have 3 hours."

Fleeing the office, ticket in hand, he gives the cube farm a long desired, “Fuck you Lewis!” and hits the door.

A short bus ride, efficient shower, and long Lyft later, he's on his way home.

(To Be Continued)

[bmaxwell]

Game of the Year 2022: Honorable Mentions

So 2022 was an incredible year for gaming. A lot of great indie games came out, but the AAA games brought the heat this year too. The following is a list of the games I enjoyed this year that missed my top 10. 

Cult of the Lamb

This game has a similar loop to 2020′s Hades, with the player’s time split between two activities: combat run and, here, some light town management. Er, cult management. You play as a cute little sheep who also happens to be a cult leader, tasked with taking down The One Who Waits. You are doing combat runs and managing your settlement of cultists between. This involves feeding them, providing adequate shelter, whipping them into a religious fervor, and maybe the occasional sacrifice. Each half of the game is fun, and it doesn’t overstay its welcome.

Arcanium

This was a good year for roguelite deckbuilders. As a fan of the genre, I enjoyed them all, but none really stood out in the way Slay the Spire or Monster Train did for me in previous years. This one is lane-based combat with 3 heroes - chosen from a roster of 16, each with their own pool of cards. There’s a ton of cards and abilities to unlock, and finding synergies between various lineups of heroes is a blast. This was on my second monitor frequently this year. It’s my favorite One of These in 2022.

Power Wash Simulator

I’ve understood that there is an appeal to Chore-core™ games, and I remember appreciating my wife’s love of House Flipper. They never held any interest for me at all until Power Wash Simulator came to game pass. It’s a game about power washing. And that’s it. Each stage is a dirty thing and you make it clean. Sometimes it’s a vehicle or something, sometimes it’s a skate park or a backyard.

I can’t explain it, but it’s a Zen experience, slowly blasting the dirt away until things are pristine. For a couple of months, I’d spend half an hour in the morning before work blasting virtual dirt away. It’s satisfying in a way I can’t articulate. 

I understand now.

Strange Horticulture 

This game came from out of nowhere and really impressed me. I know vibes is an overused, nebulous term that means almost nothing in 2022, but goddamn this game’s vibes are just spot-on perfect for me. You play as the shopkeeper in a small town where mysterious shit is going down. People come in with problems like “I get headaches” or “I have a rash” or “I hear spirits and I need to be able to see them as well.” You consult your horticulture book and figure out what to sell them. The drawings are detailed and beautiful, and the descriptions range from direct to very vague. You label and organize the plants manually as you learn what they’re named and what they do. 

The music is somber, gentle piano. Sometimes it rains. You have a black cat named Hellbore. It’s a really thoughtful, unusual game where you are consulting your plant book, analyzing clues, referencing a map, and solving mysteries big and small - in a sleepy, more-than-meets-the-eye small town. Perfect game for me. 

Kirby and the Forgotten Land 

I grew up with video games and Nintendo, so I don’t know how I made it past the age of forty without ever playing a Kirby game, but I did. I kept thinking of Super Mario Odyssey while playing this game. Just a colorful, joyous experience. Eating dudes to get their powers (and upgrading those powers) is a blast, and the big mouth mode for eating stuff like cars and soda machines is dumb and fun as hell. 

The collectibles are many, but optional. And the ending is really anime in a way I did not expect, but loved. What a fun game. 

Signalis 

I feel like the N64-PS1 era of games mostly aged very poorly. I have no real nostalgia for the era, or for old Resident Evil games of the time. So when Signalis came around, I only gave it a try because it’s on Game Pass. And goddammit, I love this game. The muddy visuals of that era, the survival horror tropes of limited ammo, limited inventory space, and designated save spots are all here. You’re exploring a dangerous, oppressive environment trying to unravel a mystery - and the game even shifts into other perspectives a few times. 

I was absolutely hooked on this game for a solid week.

Vampire Survivors

What a weird, unlikely hit this game was. It looks and plays like a mobile game, but (crucially) without any of the gross, shitty, predatory elements found in those. The result feels like a throwback to arcade games in a way. Simple gameplay, addictive, and short sessions make it easy to pick up and put down. It inspired a bunch of imitators, many of which felt like far more than just copycats. 

This is one of the things I love so see in the videogame industry: unlikely success stories.

Beacon Pines

Beacon Pines is a perfect Game Pass game. It’s a great little 5-6 hour experience that I never would have sought out if it weren’t on a service I already sub to. It’s a cute choose-your-own adventure game that plays out like a storybook (complete with narrator). You find new keywords and go back to checkpoints in the story, plugging your new words in to get new branching paths. And even though it’s cute, it’s also plenty spooky and gets pretty dark. My wife and firstborn also finished this one, it made for a great Halloween game. 

The DioField Chronicle

The DioField Chronicle is a perfect example of a “7 out of 10: fans of the genre will find something to enjoy here” title. It’s perfectly enjoyable, but feels like it could have been more. The combat is fun, but it stays largely the same throughout the game’s 30+ hour campaign. You get a retinue of fighters, archers, cavalry, and magic users that you can outfit with gear, gussy up with new powers, and mix and match from one battle to the next. The story is serviceable, a tale of warring kingdoms, betrayal and....well, you know. I did enjoy the personalities of some of the characters, but the game could have done more with them.

I like it because I like it. 7/10

Pokemon Legends: Arceus

Pokemon Legends: Arceus isn’t the first Pokemon game I’ve ever tried, but it landed for me far better than any other in the series. I enjoyed the open nature of it, being able to walk around and see monsters in the wild, and decide whether to capture them, or battle, or avoid them felt organic in a way other games in the series haven’t for me. It’s also cool that you’re just trying to help out a colony and solve a mystery, rather than battling rivals to be the best that ever was. 

I didn’t end up finishing it because, despite liking the aesthetics and the collecting, I don’t care for the combat. It’s too quick, too rock-paper-scissors for me.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder's Revenge

This game is just a good old-fashioned couch coop beat-em-up. I played this with my 2 youngest children. It’s nice when a game does one thing really well and doesn’t try to be more than it is. Plus, Mike Patton sang the intro music, which is weird and great. 

Tinyfolks

There are plenty of low price, bite-sized games out there. Very few of them are RPG’s. Tinyfolks has turn-based combat and city building elements. I spent an enjoyable 5 hours with it, and that’s enough. It’s a $3.99 game, and how we value games around price and play time is weird and hard. But Tinyfolks is pretty fun. 

Alina of the Arena

I’m a mark for indie strategy / card games. Steam knows this, and serves this stuff up to me. A lot of these games look same-y, even to me (a conniosseur). Sometimes they get weird with it, and I like that. This is an arena combat game where you’re playing cards to move, attack, reload weapons, and the such. Alina of the Arena was yet another great game I had going on my second monitor frequently throughout the year. Finding new weapons and moves and evolving your combat style is fun, and occasionally everything works out where you can chain a bunch of attacks together and feel like a genius powerhouse. The crowd roars and throws a bunch of money into the arena. Very baller. 

Gordian Quest

On paper, Gordian Quest is 100% my shit. Cards, deckbuilding, a pool of unique characters to build your team from, tactical combat on a grid. A grid. In practice, Gordian Quest is about 75% my shit. That is to say I played quite a bit of it and enjoyed my time with it, but it never quite lit a fire under me the way I’d expected. 

Across the Obelisk

A deckbuilding roguelite - hey, did I mention that a LOT of these came out this year? Like Gordian Quest, I spent a fair bit of time enjoying this on my second screen, but it never truly grabbed me. 

Shadows Over Loathing

Whenever a game bills itself as comedy, it almost always falls flat with me. It’s such a difficult thing to pull off - comedic writing is super challenging, and so much of comedy involves timing. Shadows Over Loathing (like its predecessor West of Loathing) pulls it off beautifully. The game has smart writing, plenty of visual gags (please put on every pair of shoes you find) and a little bit of wisdom snuck in there too. I’m a big fan of the early 1900′s detective noir style with some existential horror thrown in, but I will play any game in this series regardless of the theme and setting. 

River City Girls 2

This came out in mid-December, so I haven’t gotten much time with it. So far it’s more of the same, which is just what I want.

[ppersonna]

swipe right - jjk | m

“ i wanna ruin our friendship. we should be lovers instead. i don't know how to say this, cause you're really my dearest friend “ - jenny, studio killers

♡ summary-  after a horrible breakup, you sign back up for tinder and ironically match with your best friend, jungkook. a date for fun is harmless, right?

♡ genre- best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, jk is a minecraft streamer, brother namjoon, brother-in-law jimin, namjoon is kind of a himbo stay at home dad ngl, ex-boyfriend seokjin (mentioned but doesnt show up)

♡ word count- 9k

♡ warnings- mentions of a bad breakup (smh seokjin wtf??), penetrative sex, unprotected sex (u know the business folx), oral sex (m receiving), teasing, SO MUCH BODY WORSHIP, jk is a simp, slight dirty talk, lots of just talking during sex yall it happens, creampie, cum play, praise praise body worship praise, did i mention body worship, tit-fucking, cum eating, i think thats all.

♡ a/n - helloooo and thank you for your wait for this fic! i’m so happy its done and i loved writing it! it’s a little bit different feel for my usual style of writing (smut-wise) so please tell me your thoughts! i didn’t use dom/sub themes OR a daddy kink LMAOOOO praise me please. i hope you enjoy!! pls feel free to comment, chat, message, carrier pigeon, email, mail, WHATEVER U WANT, me. i love u babies. thank you to @kimtaehyunq​ for the sexy banner. and for @xjoonchildx @ladyartemesia​ @untaemedqueen​ for the writing support and idea generation. i would be nothing without my council. and thank you to my beta editors @hobi-gif and @ughseoks​ and @hongism​ for the perusal and help in writing this!

Jungkook is the person you call when your world falls apart.

He answers, voice raspy from the late hour, and the second he asks you what’s wrong, the downpour of torrential tears you’ve been holding back finally escapes and you’re sobbing through the phone that you just lost the love of your life—that he left and with little effort on his part, and a lot on yours.

Jungkook listens to you—his heart aching deep in his chest at hearing the utter heartbreak that’s clear in your voice. You’ve never been hurt like this, and he’s desperate to hold you, to make it go away. He wants to drive over to Seokjin’s house and throw a left hook into his stupid, handsome face for making you feel you weren’t worth it.

Because if there’s anything in the world that Jungkook knows, it’s that you’re worth it. You’re worth everything. Add up all the money and all the gold in the entire world, and it still doesn’t meet a fraction of what you’re worth to him.

“Where are you?” He asks as he cradles the phone against one arm and pulls on his jeans.  

You sniffle. “Jungkook, it’s 3 am.”

“So? I was up playing Minecraft,” He lies. “Where are you?”

You can’t help but laugh the tiniest bit, a sliver of warmth wrapping itself around your raw and exposed heart. Like a balm to a flesh wound. It doesn’t heal it, not yet.

“I’m at our park.”

Jungkook smiles as he grips the phone back in his hand. The park. The place you and Jungkook spent your childhood playing make-believe games, and formative teenage years loitering around smoking clove cigarettes to look cool.

“Give me five minutes, okay?”

You nod, even though he can’t see you. 

“Okay.”

Jungkook arrives with two minutes to spare. His beat up Nissan that he insists is “vintage” and “priceless” idles next to you.

He can see you through the darkened glass of your car—your mascara is running down your face, tears streaked through your flawlessly applied makeup.

You still look so beautiful.

And it angers Jungkook that all that time you spent looking good for Seokjin meant nothing to him.

He motions for you to come over, pats the passenger seat next to him and smiles as he watches you open the door and slide into the security of his familiar car.

“You cleaned your car,” you murmur as you notice a severe lack of McDonald’s trash.

He sniffs haughtily. 

“The trash added character.”

Jungkook doesn’t give you a chance to respond. Instead, he’s unbuckling his seatbelt and pulling you as close to him as he can get you. The instant his arms wrap around your body, the floodgates open again and your once-quieted tears turn back into full-fledged sobs.

“I loved him,” you gasp through the pain in your throat.

He rubs your back, pats your hair gently, soothing you the way he has for years now. Through every breakup, through every family fight with your older brother Namjoon, through all the mean girls in high school. Jungkook is the north star—always consistent, always guiding you back to safety.

“I know, babe,” he sighs. “You deserve someone who’s going to treat you right, who’s not just going to give up when things get hard.”

You choke back a cry against his Patagonia hoodie and bury your face further into the crook of his neck. He smells like Old Spice and the shampoo he uses, along with the smell of laundry soap you buy for him—he uses dish soap when he runs out and nearly broke his washing machine last time.

“I thought he was the one. I’m so stupid.”

Jungkook swallows hard. Tonight is about comforting you, not about feeling sorry for himself that you’re his best friend and not his girlfriend. He can’t help but think of what kind of life he would give you. He knows it’s one that wouldn’t end with you crying in a parking lot at 3 AM.

“You’re not stupid, you just loved him. And there’s nothing stupid about loving someone, even if it doesn’t work out,” he sighs as he cradles your head against him. It feels right having you there, pressed up against him and seeking comfort from the solace of his arms.

“Let’s go get a milkshake, yeah?” He asks as you pull your head up and look at him with sad, glassy eyes.

“Yeah,” you nod after a moment of staring.

Jungkook’s eyes sparkle with love, with hope. It makes the desperate, alone feeling inside you—disappear. Jungkook presses a soft kiss to your forehead and then starts the shaky ignition of his car, that takes three cranks of the key before it turns over.

He sends you a look, a laugh evident on your face.

“Don’t even start,” he warns. “The engine is fine.”

“Whatever you say,” you snort as you wipe an errant tear from your face.  

“It’s a certified classic car! I could get millions for this baby!”

As the weeks pass, the pain of losing Seokjin becomes further and further from your mind. You can get through the day without crying anytime you see something that reminds you of him and even start flirting with others without feeling like you’re cheating.

You just still haven’t reached the point where dating someone else even feels possible. You’re terrified of allowing someone close to you, letting them into a place where you’re inviting them to possibly hurt you. You’re not sure your heart is ready for it. 

“I think you’re just scared,” your older brother Namjoon states as he warms up a bottle of milk in boiling water. 

He cradles his new baby in one arm while the other works at the bottle of milk. 

“I’m not scared,” you huff. “I just don’t think it’s the right time.” 

Namjoon sighs and hands the gurgling newborn baby off to you and readies the bottle for you to feed your new niece, Jisoo. 

“Look, Seokjin sucks, okay? I know you two were together for some time, but in the end, he wasn’t the right one for you. There’s someone out there who is the right one for you. You know how many shit frogs I had to kiss before I got my prince?” 

You make a face as you feed Jisoo, who happily sucks and gazes at the lights above. 

“You call Jimin a prince?” 

Namjoon sighs dreamily as he watches the baby and thinks of his husband. 

“The dreamiest prince,” he breathes, eyes closed in bliss. “But back to your problems. I think you should get back out there. Go on some dates, meet some people. No one is telling you to fall in love and get married tomorrow. Just go have some fun.” 

You allow Namjoon’s words to mull through your mind. What could be the harm in joining a few dating sites, perhaps spending some time at the gym or grocery store flirting with someone cute?

“Fine,” you say. “I’ll think about it.” 

“Good. I can’t be the only one giving our parents grand-babies. Soo needs a cousin.” 

You smile down at the tiny bundle in your arms and imagine a future where you have a baby of your own. 

“Okay, I’m not trying to get knocked up, Joon.” 

“Whatever,” he sighs. “Help me choose a wall color for me and Jimin’s new master bathroom.” 

Tinder’s changed since the last time you used it, years ago. It’s gone from any semblance of dating to strictly an app used to get laid. 

It’s discouraging swiping through all the obvious fuckboys. Sure, a quick and easy lay sounds great, but you’re also trying to go out and enjoy real, traditional dates, and it seems none of these guys want to step foot outside of a bedroom. 

The swiping left becomes almost monotonous. You’re sitting on your couch, watching some documentary about serial killers, when a startling profile pops up on your Tinder feed. 

The picture that pops up is... Jungkook. You can’t stop the bubble of laughter that leaps from your chest. His profile is so authentically Jungkook that you’re swiping right before you even know it. 

Your brain doesn’t even comprehend what a match with Jungkook means, really. You’re still laughing as you click on the bubble to message him and send him as many laugh emojis as you can. 

“Hey guys, what’s up, Kookie here with another Let’s Play Minecraft video for ya. Be sure to like and subscribe if you enjoy this kind of content.”

Jungkook’s headset is firmly wrapped around his head, mic next to his mouth and hands at the ready on his mouse and keyboard. He’s set and in the zone. 

The game is well into play when the familiar chime of his phone goes off. It’s a Tinder notification—he can tell by the sound. He can’t help but roll his eyes, wondering what sort of boring conversation he’s meant to have with a girl who will probably ghost him, anyway. 

He lazily lifts his phone and glances at the notification, before dropping it back to the desk. 

His hand freezes on his mouse as he finally comprehends what he just read. 

He just matched with YOU. 

His best friend. 

His secret, lifelong crush. 

He sputters something into the microphone and stops recording his game, wildly grasping for the phone and unlocking it. 

YN: 😂😂😂😂 is your bio a Minecraft pickup line?!

He pauses, attempts to collect his thoughts, before desperately typing on his screen. 

JUNGKOOK: Why? 😉😏 did it work?

You spend the rest of your night jokingly flirting with Jungkook, sending GIFs and emojis in between the silly lines you’re using on each other. 

Right before you’re about to head to sleep, Jungkook sends one last message. 

JUNGKOOK: What if we went on a date lolol. Haha jk. Unless?? 👀👀👀

Your thumbs hover over the keys to your phone. 

A date with Jungkook? Even though you matched with him, you’ve never thought of a date with your childhood best friend. 

YN: alright, it’s only fair since we matched 😝 show me how you treat these tinder ladies

“I have a date with Jungkook tonight,” you tell your brother, Namjoon, over the phone. 

Over the crying of your newborn niece, you hear Namjoon splutter in confusion. 

“You what!?” He nearly screams. “Jeon Jungkook? Like... the annoying kid you’ve been friends with since fourth grade?”

You huff. 

“He’s not annoying! He’s my best friend. We ironically matched on Tinder and… Well, why the fuck not? Nothing serious is going to happen. We’ll go out and have a story to tell about how incompatible we are.”

Namjoon doesn’t reply. Instead, you hear him speak to his husband. 

“She’s going on a date with Jungkook,” he says over the muffle of his hand on the receiver.

There’s a shuffle, and the dulcet voice of your brother-in-law, Jimin, comes over the line. 

“Girl,” he starts. “What the fuck?”

You chuckle as you move about your closet, trying to decide what’s appropriate to wear on a date with your best friend. 

“It’s nothing!” 

“Mm-hmm,” Jimin tuts. “You know the boy is in love with you.” 

“Okay, Chim, you’ve been spending too much time cooped up with my brother. It’s affecting your grip on reality.”

“Sure, honey. I just tell it like it is. Don’t break his heart.” 

You roll your eyes. 

“I won’t break his heart because there’s nothing there, Jimin.”

“I’ll be expecting your call later.”

“Yes, dad. Love you guys.”

“We love you too, sweetheart. But really, don’t break that poor boy’s heart.”

You open your mouth to retort yet another reassurance that there’s nothing to break, but the line goes dead.

“Fucking Jimin,” you mutter as you throw your phone to the bed.

You can’t allow yourself to think that Jungkook might have feelings for you. It’s totally out of the questions. He’s your best friend. The guy who shoves Cheetos up his nose to make you laugh and falls asleep during every movie night with his face in the popcorn bowl. He’s just Jungkook. This date is just a funny way to hang out.

So, why do you care so much about what you wear?

You’re still standing in front of your closet, attempting to find something respectable to wear. It doesn’t matter that the last time Jungkook saw you; it was with mascara streaming down your face and a hoodie from Namjoon’s college swimming days and ripped leggings. Jungkook has seen you in nearly everything you wear, so your indecisiveness gives you pause.

Do you want Jungkook to be attracted to you? Do you want to do your best to look as presentable as you would for a normal date?

The thudding of your heart tells you that maybe you’re more interested in this being a date than you’re allowing yourself to believe.

You shake all thoughts off. 

No, you won’t allow yourself to overthink a night that should just be fun.

You settle for a fitted and simple summer dress, tights and heels. Simple, easy, respectable but also showing enough cleavage and sculpt of your ass to ensure you look more dressed up than not.

Perfect.

With one last look in the mirror, you’re ready.

JUNGKOOK: I’m outside!

ME: See you soon!

Jungkook taps his foot anxiously as he sits on the bench outside your apartment. His tight black jeans feel like a second skin on his legs, and the black button-down shirt he’s tucked in makes him rethink his choice of outfit.

Is he too casual?

He’s never really worn something like this around you. This is what Jungkook wears when he wants to seduce. This is what every girl he’s desperately wished was you got to see. The girls who swooned over his messy hair, the way his jeans display his toned thighs, the peek of skin at his throat.

Maybe it’s too much.

Maybe he’s afraid he’ll scare you away.

Maybe he’s afraid you won’t like it.

He’s given no chance to ruminate anymore because you’re exiting the building and walking straight towards him.

He doesn’t think he remembers how to breathe.

It’s as if you walk towards him in slow motion. Angels chorus around him and the setting sun sparkles on your face like a spotlight. There’s nothing in the world anymore, nothing but you.

You’re the most beautiful human he’s ever seen in his life.

“Hi,” you smile as you approach him.

He continues to stare, eyes traveling over the soft curves of your cheeks and jaw, trailing down to the way your dress clings just right to each dip of your body. His throat goes dry.

You are without a doubt the girl of his dreams. 

“Jungkook?”

It pushes him out of his reverie, eyes widening as he realizes he’s been staring at you for maybe a few minutes too long to play off as normal.

“Hey!” He coughs, attempting to right himself.

“You okay?” You ask, eyebrow lifted in concern.

“Yeah! Yup! Totally! I’m okay—a-okay, absolutely great.” He internally slaps himself.

“You clean up nice,” you smile as your eyes elevate up and down the lean form of his body.

“Oh?” He asks, taken aback. 

In his daze, he never even realized what you’re thinking about him, rather only how intensely he was thinking about you.

“This must be the Jungkook that all the girls in college couldn’t stop begging me to hook them up with.”

His cheeks flame with sudden embarrassment, hand moving to the back of his neck to rub it awkwardly. 

“Ha, yeah,” he swallows. “You look r-really nice too. I don’t think I’ve seen you in a dress since your brother’s wedding.”

The smile that he’s rewarded with nearly knocks him on his ass. “Thanks! It’s fun to dress up cute again. Jin hated this dress.”

A stab of pain eeks its way into Jungkook’s heart. Seokjin. God, how he hates that man.

“Well, uh, you can wear whatever you want with me!” He assures. 

You loop your arm around Jungkook’s, saddling up to his side as you look at him expectantly.

“Well, are we going?”

Jungkook can’t help but smile at the sparkle in your eye, the way you peer up at him with those soft, cherry lips. He wants to capture them with his own, kiss you until you don’t remember Seokjin’s name ever again.

But he resists.

“Let’s go!”

You never thought you’d admit it to yourself. You never even thought it could happen. 

But the date is everything you’ve ever wanted, and more. 

Jungkook is still Jungkook, still just as silly and easy to talk to as he always is. 

But he’s also charming. Flirtatious, even. He holds doors open for you; he rests his hand on the small of your back as he guides you towards your table at dinner. He feeds you bites of his dessert and lets his eyes linger on the way your lips look wrapped around his fork. 

Jungkook treats you the way you’ve always wanted to be treated. Like someone he wants to cherish for the rest of your combined lives. Someone he wants to take care of, build a future with, enjoy life with.

And as much as it thrills you, it absolutely frightens you. 

It’s when you’re walking down the small river trail together that Jungkook slips his hand into yours and laces your fingers together. The once-steady beat of your heart becomes erratic. He continues chatting—as if holding your hand was a subconscious act for him. He’s knee deep in a story of his Minecraft server when you stop walking, causing him to pause. 

“What’s up?” He asks curiously. 

Your eyes glitter with anticipation, with fear, as you stare at the gorgeous man before you. He looks like a full course meal in his tight jeans and he makes you feel like a princess. You can suddenly see doing life by his side—no longer his platonic best friend, but as his lover and lifelong partner. 

You say nothing. Instead, you simply close the space between you two by grabbing the buttons of his shirt and tugging his lips onto yours. 

“Wha—oh, mmmmmm.”

Jungkook is still for a second as he battles the surprise, but jumps into action and cups your face with his hands, deepening the kiss by pushing his tongue past your lips and swirling it around your own. 

Your bodies press close together. He can feel your breasts against his chest and he desperately wants to rip the dress off your body and worship you like he’s always wanted to. 

As soon as the kiss started, it’s over. You’re pulling away with eyes wide with fear.

“I’m sorry, I—I need to go,” you stammer awkwardly.

Jungkook’s heart drops to his stomach.

“What? We were going to get ice cream?”

You can feel tears building in the corners of your eyes. You’re so confused, so unsure of what you’re feeling. You want to stay and kiss Jungkook until you’re clawing at the clothing on his body, pressing kisses to the firm column of his neck. You want to run far away, too scared to admit it to him you’re sure you could love him for the rest of his life.

You can’t lose that friendship. You can’t risk everything you love about Jungkook. He’ll only hurt you the way every boyfriend ever has.

“I don’t really feel well,” you swallow hard as you lie. Jungkook always knows when you’re lying.

His body stiffens.

“Okay, let me walk you home.”

You shake your head, already moving away from the man.

“It’s fine. We’re nearby. I’ll just run or something.”

He opens his mouth to protest, but you’ve already turned face and started running the direction away from him.

Jungkook watches, misty-eyed, as the girl of his dreams runs further and further away from him.

You’re sobbing as you finally reach home, out of breath and confused. The phone call to Namjoon is quick.

“Yo,” he says cooly as he answers the phone. His tone changes when he hears your whimpering sobs on the other end.

“Joonie,” you whisper. “I fucked up.”

“Oh god,” Namjoon quickly shuffles and calls his husband over, before putting the phone on speaker.

“What’s happened, baby?” Jimin’s sweet voice asks.

“I—I kissed him,” you sob, holding yourself close in the comfort of the elevator. 

Namjoon and Jimin look at each other with knowing looks.

“We’re on our way over.”

Jimin knows the first order of business is to stop the crying. He places sleeping baby Jisoo in your arms, which quiets your whimpers enough as you cling to the tiny baby. He knows your weakness is sleeping babies.

Namjoon looks on anxiously, hates seeing his little sister upset and with no way to make it better.

Jimin’s been asked to take the lead on this, because he knows his husband's response is to cry as well—he gets emotional anytime he sees her cry. Namjoon agreed, knowing Jimin was better suited for the conversation.

“Tell us what happened,” Jimin asks quietly. You’re rocking the baby gently, sobs turned to sniffles. “Did something go wrong on the date?”

Your eyes peer up at your brother-in-law’s, a wounded look that makes Jimin feel sad. Namjoon clenches beside him, and Jimin lays a hand on his lap to soothe the protective brother.

“No,” you whisper. “That’s the thing. It was an amazing date.”

Jimin watches you curiously, but remains silent to let you continue.

“We had dinner, and we played arcade games and we walked around. And he was so… fuck, he was perfect. It was like dating the guy of my dreams.”

Jimin nods knowingly.

“And it surprised you how much you liked him.”

“Yeah,” you sniffle. “At the end, he was holding my hand and just talking about normal, stupid Jungkook shit, but this time it felt like more. Like, I felt in my heart that I wanted to be the one he always talked to about it. I wanted to be the one he came home to at night.”

Jimin pats your cheek lovingly, the care for his sister-in-law clear in his gaze. 

“You don’t just like him, honey. I think you might even love him.”  

You pull baby Jisoo tighter into your grasp and nod, pathetic tears slipping down your face. 

“I just left him. Like, I ran away from him like an asshole.”

Namjoon grunts and takes a spot next to Jimin. “If he loves you, which I’m sure he does, he’ll still be waiting for you.”

Jimin nods and rests a hand on his husband's back. “But you better have one hell of an apology.”

Jungkook doesn’t answer your phone calls. He doesn’t respond to your texts, snapchats or Instagram DM’s. He doesn’t even look at the TikToks you sent him! It’s becoming infuriating to get in touch with him.

You take matters into your own hands and storm to his apartment after work, the rising tension in your shoulders and stomach full of rocks an indicator of your anxiety about the future of this relationship.

Jungkook opens the door wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweats. All the carefully crafted words exit your mind at light 

speed and you’re left gasping, wide-eyed at the chiseled body of your best friend.

“Can I help you?” He asks, tone flat.

Ouch.

You push past him into the apartment you know so well. “Yeah, you could start by answering your phone.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes and closes the door, then heads back towards the large gaming setup in the living room.

“My apologies for not responding to the girl who literally ran away from me on a date.”

Your cheeks heat uncomfortably as you stand in the center of his living room, arms crossed over your chest. 

“Jungkook, listen. I’m—”

“Please,” he shakes his head as he sits down at the impressive gaming chair. “Save the apologies. I get it.”

“You don’t get it!” You say, exasperated. “You don’t get any of it! That’s why I’m here.”

Jungkook narrows a look at you then stands from his chair. Slowly, he makes his way towards you and stands inches from your face. The proximity of his bare, toned chest to your body makes your throat dry.

“No, you don’t get it.” His voice is threateningly quiet, completely different from his usual chipper tone. 

“Jungkook, I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” He quirks his head sarcastically, and you’re struck by the sharp lines of his jaw. “Sorry for running away from the date? Sorry for going on a date? Sorry for making me feel like I had a fucking chance when you kissed me?”

You swallow hard and open your mouth to reply, but he cuts you off.

“I’m sorry too. For giving myself way too much hope that this could ever be something. I’m sorry for myself for thinking you’d at least respect me enough to reject me politely.”

“You always had a chance!” You can feel tears building in your eyes and Jungkook feels his heart pound in his chest like a drum.

He scoffs, a harsh and mirthless laugh. “Clearly not.”

“I just—,” you start. “I never saw you like that before and suddenly you became everything I’ve ever dreamed of. It was like getting hit by a train, Kook! Suddenly my best friend turned into the man of my dreams.”

He shakes his head, stepping back away from you.

“I really find it hard to believe you,” he whispers. “I can’t let myself hope.”

“Jungkook, please,” you beg as tears start slipping down your face. “Please believe me.”

“Just leave,” he sighs. “I hate making you cry.”

You want so badly to wrap yourself in his arms, cry into his chest like you always do when you’re hurt. But you stand still, frozen in your shame and embarrassment of hurting your best friend so badly.

“I’m sorry,” you murmur, before you spin around as quickly as you can and leave Jungkook’s apartment in a flurry.

He watches as the door slams behind you, eyes full of sadness and regret. As much as he wants to believe you, have faith in every word you said, he can’t allow himself to get his hopes up again.

He can’t watch you run away from him again.

“Welcome back to Kookie’s Wild Weekly Walkthrough!” Jungkook cheers as enthusiastically as he can through his microphone. “The weekly segment where I react to your Minecraft worlds!”

Jungkook needed to dive back into streaming to take his mind off of you. He hasn’t left his apartment in days, only subsisting on takeout and coffee. At least he was making more money and his subscribers didn’t seem to mind the up-tick in content.

“Tonight I’ll be walking through a creation sent by,” he squints at the username. “‘Kookiesgal95’ Aww that’s cute.”  

He readies the content and starts his camera as he watches the YouTube link. His subscribers love his reaction videos—it’s a highly requested segment.

The video starts off easily, a generic Minecraft world that looks like a park.

“Hi Kook.”

The voice that reverberates through his headphones makes him pause the video quickly, wide-eyed with recognition.

It’s you. He’d know that voice from a million others. 

Shit. He’s going to have to edit so much of this clip. He’s staring at the screen as if he’s just seen a ghost.

Unsteadily, he clicks play again and watches as you lead him through your Minecraft creation.

“I wanted to recreate something for someone very special in my life.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother to react to this anymore. This entire video is going to be worthless—there’s nothing he can say.

The video pans around the Minecraft setup and he can see what looks like handmade swings and merry go rounds.

“It took me a really long time to do this and an embarrassing amount of help from some twelve-year-olds on the internet.”

He laughs and is stunned by the wet tears rolling down his cheeks. He hadn’t realized he was crying.

“I re-created a park that is really special to my best friend and I.”

He feels his chest tighten and relax. The park. 

“This is the spot where he held me when my dog died when I was nine. I still miss that dog.”

The view is on a spot next to a blocky oak tree. Jungkook remembers that day, remembers your heartbroken sobs as he whispered words of comfort to you. He misses that dog, too. 

“This is where he and my brother got in a fight when we were eleven, because my brother called me a stupid-head. My best friend has always been protective of me, even from my own big brother.”

He can still remember pushing Namjoon around after hearing him call you names. He pushed Namjoon over and threatened to use his “big muscles” if he did it again.

The camera pans to an enormous structure, rather sloppily made, of a slide and monkey bars.

“This is where we first shared a joint in high school. I coughed a lung up and he ran down the street to a gas station at ten pm to get me a bottle of water even though I told him I was okay,”

The memory of the bewildered 7-11 employee plays through his mind. The man watched as a very stoned, very out of breath, Jungkook paid for a bottle of water in coins.

The video continues playing, moves towards what appears to be a parking lot made of cobblestone blocks.

“This is where he held me when my world fell apart.”

The break-up. The way you cried and cried and cried in his arms and he held you as if you were the only thing left on Earth. 

“This is where he reminded me I’m worthy of love, that I’m not broken. This is where he held me like I was delicate, but treated me like I was unbreakable.”

His tears don’t stop. Jungkook feels his heart thundering in his chest like a summer storm. 

He can hear your sniffles through the recording of the video—you were crying too. It pans around to the swing set.

“And this is where I’ll tell him everything, tonight. Where I’ll tell him how deeply I love him and how I want to make him the happiest guy in the world. In all of Minecraft and beyond. I hope he comes.”

Jungkook doesn’t even bother turning his camera off.

Instead, he’s running to change out of his three-day-old clothes and bolt out the door.

The creaky, rusty metal of the swing set is deafeningly loud in the silence of your park.

It’s dark, just a few street lights around to illuminate the perimeter, but it’s otherwise only lit by the moon.

It’s getting cold. You shiver in your hoodie and kick at the dirt under your swing. 

Maybe he didn’t see the video. Maybe he wasn’t going to show.

Maybe it was too late.

You spent hours working on the Minecraft world, staying up at all hours of the night to build and craft a poor re-creation of this park. The twelve-year-olds on Reddit had been invaluable and Namjoon definitely made fun of you for your creative assistants. But it had all been worth it. 

“Fuck,” you speak out loud to no one, as you try to warm your hands in the pockets of your sweater. “It’s cold.”

“You should have brought a jacket.”

The sudden voice from behind startles you. You hop off the swing and whip around to face  down the intruder.

Jungkook.

He looks so good. He’s wearing a thick coat and tight jeans. Your eyes take a delicious journey from head to toe.

He can’t help but preen at your blatant appreciation. He enjoys knowing you’re attracted to him, at least physically.

“You came.”

He nods and takes a nervous step towards you. He’s still far away, more than an arm's-reach away. You’re desperate to bring him closer, to pull him tight against your body and wrap yourself around him. You never want to be without his gentle touch again.

“I felt pretty compelled to come after you made all this in Minecraft for me.” He cracks a wry smile, a boy-ish grin that makes your heart flutter.

“It took me twenty-five hours and some teenagers to help.”

He laughs, a beautiful sound that warms you. “I’m sure they were ecstatic to help.”

You chew at the inside of your cheek, nervous at what he thinks about your in-game confession.

“Did you mean it?” He asks. He steps closer—one more step.

“Every word.”

His eyes are searching yours for the truth, desperately diving into the depths for validity.

“Why did you run away?” Another step.

You swallow hard, heavy tears brimming in your eyes.

“You went from being the silly best friend to being the person I could spend the rest of my life with. It all hit me. It’s always been you.”

One more step and now he’s just within your reach. If you stuck your hand out, your fingers would graze the soft puff of his coat, the delicate skin of his neck. 

“I’ve always felt that way about you. I never thought you’d feel the same.”

You smile softly, timidly. “It just took me a little while longer to realize it.”

All at once, Jungkook closes the gap and holds you gently by your cheeks. His thumbs wipe at the moisture under your eyes. 

“I promise to never make you cry again,” he whispers reverently. 

“And I promise to never run away from you again.” 

Jungkook smiles at that, cradling your face like you’re the most expensive and precious jewel. 

“Can I kiss you again?” He asks, somewhat unsure of himself. 

“I would like it if you would.”

As Jungkook presses his cold, plush lips to your own, you make a promise to yourself to never go a day without kissing him again. 

“I can’t believe you’re in my bedroom,” Jungkook murmurs as he kisses at your face. After the park, Jungkook loaded you into his priceless Nissan and scurried home. You could hardly keep your hands off him as he drove you back to his place—reaching and caressing the spots on his body you’re dying to become familiar with. 

“I’ve been in your bedroom before,” you remind him as he tugs up the hoodie you’re wearing. 

“God, don’t be so semantic when I’m trying to fuck you,” he says before throwing the hoodie to a corner of the room. “You know what I mean.”

Jungkook kisses you again, all lips and teeth and tongue. He kisses you like you’re the last breath of air, and he’s greedy for every bit. He grips your hips, not too tight, and brings your body against his. You can feel him grow in hardness in his too tight, and it feels like bliss. 

Teasingly, you grind your hips against his, making him shudder with desire.

“I want you,” he whines as he nibbles at your lip. 

“Really? I couldn’t tell.”

He opens his eyes to level a look at you, pulling his mouth away from yours. 

“You’re such a little smartass.”

His hands become feverish on your jeans, tugging apart the button and flicking down the fly. He pushes them down quickly, and you kick them off carelessly. 

He can’t stop looking at you in your bra and panties, standing at the foot of his bed. 

“Holy shit, okay, this is happening, right? Like, this is real?” 

You smirk, pleased with Jungkook’s obvious excitement. 

“Let me prove it’s not just a dream.” 

Softly, you spin Jungkook around and push him down to sit on his bed. He complies easily, eyes wide and excited. 

“If this is a dream, would you be able to feel this?” You ask as you unbuckle  his belt and open his jeans. He doesn’t reply, simply watches you as you tug his jeans down to his thighs. 

His cock strains hard against his tight boxers, and you run a teasing finger over the obvious bulge. 

“Oh fuck,” he breathes. 

“Feels pretty real, huh?”

“Y-yeah.” 

Your delicate hands gently tug at the waistband of his boxers and easily work them down enough to free the length of his cock. It springs out easily and your eyes widen at the impressive size. You assumed he would be at least average, but you’re looking at something definitely more. 

“Oh wow,” you whisper. “You’re fucking huge.” 

Jungkook grins. “All for you, baby.” The cockiness is palpable. 

One solid grip around him wipes the presumptuous smile off his face, replaced with a gasping, shuddering moan. 

“How about this? Not a dream?”

He struggles to find his voice, instead he’s gulping for air like a fish out of water. 

“That’s what I thought,” you whisper before settling into a position on your knees. “I’ll admit, I’ve dreamt about this too. I always felt so ashamed for dreaming about sucking my best friend's cock.”

You press soft kisses to the head of his length, teasing the sensitive areas at the tip before kissing up and down the length. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

His evident desire for you encourages you, and your tongue swipes at the crown of his tip and swirls around it gently. 

“Oh my god.” His eyes shutter closed and you trace the veins in his dick with your tongue. 

“This h-has to be a dreeeaaaaam,” he whines as you make an exceptionally long stripe with the flat of your tongue. 

You pull off for a moment, humming. He springs his eyes open and watches as you reach behind your back and unsnap your bra. Your breasts escape with a bounce and his eyes widen, nearly bulging out of their sockets. 

“What the fuck,” he whines. “You have the most amazing tits.”

He reaches out to grasp them and you slap them away playfully. 

“Not yet,” you smirk. “Still trying to convince you you’re not asleep.” 

He sucks in his breath and puts his hands back to the bed to steady himself, eyes never leaving yours (except to stare at the luscious curves of your body). 

Grasping your breasts in both hands, you smash them together lightly in an elaborate show of what Jungkook wants most. You lean over his body and place the throbbing thickness of his cock in between your tits, allowing him to feel just how soft and warm they are. 

“Shit!” He yelps, grabbing his sheets in a tight fist. “Are you really tit-fucking me right now?!”

Slowly, you lift your body up and down, allowing his cock to feel each stroke of your breasts. You nod at his question and continue to pump up and down. 

“Still dreaming?” 

He whines and shakes his head, already feeling so close to the edge. His cock is slick from your teasing licks and the pressure of your tits surrounding him had his mind spinning with desire. 

“Ahhh, I’m so fucking close,” he warns.

You continue, speeding up the friction and pressure of your strokes. 

“I want you to cum on me, Kook,” you whisper encouragingly. “Cum on my tits, please?”

Jungkook feels like he’s a wire about to snap, and your thick, sultry voice and incredibly perfect breasts are the snips that breaks him apart. 

“Oh, shit,” he grunts. “Gonna paint your titties white, baby.”

His moans echo around the walls of his bedroom, small gasps of pleasure and your name escaping his perfectly plump pout. 

His hot load splatters on your chest, and you stroke him through each pulse of his cock. You’re slippery with his seed now, and when you pull away from his spent length, you make a show of rubbing in his cum over your chest.

“Okay, definitely not dreaming,” he says in a daze as he watches you lift a wet finger to your mouth, popping it in to clean it off. “Who knew you were so fucking kinky?” 

His confidence grows as he catches his breath. He can’t believe he’s sitting on his bed with you on your knees, breasts covered in his load. You’re suckling the cum off your finger like it’s his cock, and he’s desperate for more.

“There are lots of things you don’t know about me,” you shrug. 

Swiftly, he grabs you gently by your bicep and pulls you close, sucking at your lips until you’re both standing. 

“I plan to find out everything.” 

Suddenly, you’re switching positions and Jungkook is pushing you down into the bed. You lay flat in the center, body relaxed and eager for your best friend.

“What are you doing?” You ask. He’s still standing at the end of the bed, watching you get comfortable. Once he’s satisfied that you’re lying exactly how you want, he settles himself by your feet.

“Worshipping you,” he says as he lifts an ankle and presses gentle kisses to your calf. “Showing you how much I adore you.” More kisses, soft and sweet. “Showing you how I plan on treating you for the rest of your life.” 

He takes his time, lavishing your legs with his mouth. He kisses and sucks at any spot, sexual or not. He mouths at the roundness of your knees, your firm hamstrings. He presses his love into the skin of your thighs, mouthing his praises with each kiss. 

He reaches the dip of your hips and he gently kisses your exposed skin as he tugs your cotton panties off you. 

“I have loved every inch of you since before I can remember,” he praises as his lips skim over the mound of your cunt. “And I don’t plan on stopping soon.” 

Your body feels like it’s on fire, as if Jungkook lights a match at every spot his lips press against. Your eyes close, and you allow Jungkook to continue his pious worship of your body. 

He teases around your folds, kissing your labia ever so gently—making you gasp. He doesn’t linger long, only kisses you enough to stir the licking flames of heat in your belly.  

He kisses at your stomach, gently nibbling and laving at the softness there. You try to hide from him, try to hide your insecurities of your body in his thorough exploration, but he moves your hands. 

“I know you don’t like this part of your body,” he murmurs. His voice is so soft, so pure and sincere. “But I do. I love everything about you.” 

His tongue swirls around your belly button, making you gasp at the ticklish sensation. 

“You’re so pretty. So perfect.” 

He continues upwards, lips now trailing to your full breasts. He takes his time there, licking and kissing and flicking at your nipples with his tongue. It feels exhilarating—Jungkook’s mouth feels like everything you want it to feel like. His tongue is warm, and he bites with just enough pressure to make your back arch off the bed into his embrace.

His hands explore, taking stock of every millimeter of skin he can find. He wants to memorize every freckle, every bump, every scar and line. Your body is his paradise, and all he can think of is you, you, you.

One hand travels down your body as he moves his lips up your neck. It snakes down your stomach and deftly slides over your soaked core. You whine as you feel his fingers part your folds and dip into the wetness.

“So wet,” he says out loud, verbalizing every tantalizing detail of your body. “So perfect.”

His lips are finally at your own and you kiss him passionately, tongue swirling around his as he slides his two fingers past your clit and into your drenched hole. You gasp against his mouth, eyes widening as he slowly scissors his fingers into you and pumps slowly. It’s almost teasing, the way he fucks his fingers in you. Slow, firm movements with his powerful hands.

“Jungkook!” You gasp. He doesn’t reply, instead he bites at your lip and tugs, then trails his hot mouth back down to your nipples. He can’t get enough of your breasts and the slightly salty taste of him still lingering.

“You feel so good,” he says as he speeds his fingers up minutely. “So tight and wet for me.”

Your hips writhe in need. He’s giving you what you need, but not enough. You need more, more. You want to feel him, all of him, spearing you open.

“Please, Kook,” you groan. “I need you.”

He laughs softly against your nipple and sucks extra hard, letting it pop out of his mouth audibly.

“And I need you, my love.”

“Fuck me, please.” You’re desperate, thighs quaking from the slow teasing. “I want you to fuck me, Jungkook.”

Chills shudder down Jungkook’s spine and he’s powerless to say no, not when you demand it so well.

“With pleasure,” he agrees. He pulls his fingers from within you and copies your move, sliding them into his mouth to suck your essence off. 

He’s never looked sexier. His eyes are dark chocolate pools of burning intensity, and you feel your breath become shaky as you watch him clean his fingers with precision.

After he’s deemed his fingers sufficiently clean, he settles himself between your legs. Easily, he lifts your hips and shoves a pillow underneath, elevating you to a more comfortable position. He grabs your legs and tosses each over his shoulders so they’re higher in the air. 

“I’m going to fuck you so good, baby,” he promises as he rubs the tip of his cock on your soppy slit. “Condom?”

You shake your head, appreciative of his question but desperate to feel him completely.

“Birth control. Regularly tested. Haven’t had sex in a while,” you blurt out. “You good?”

He nods in agreement. “Same. Well, except the birth control. But, I’d take it if they made it for men.”

“Jungkook!” You whine. Your best friend is so easily sidetracked. “Please, can you fuck me?”

He grins. “Tsk, someone is impatient.”

A low moan is rumbling in your chest as he continues to rub his thick cock at your entrance.

“I swear to god, you’re the biggest tease.”

“Oh, I’m definitely the biggest.”

Before you can react, he’s pushing past your entrance and sliding deep in your walls. Your position makes his cock feel deep, and he bottoms out and stills there, eyes closed in bliss.

“Holy shit,” he gasps. “This is absolutely the best pussy I’ve ever felt.”

You wiggle your hips as you get used to the sensation of the delicious stretch.

“Please don’t tell me how many pussies you’ve felt when you’re balls deep inside of me.”

Jungkook turns his head and kisses at your legs resting on his shoulders, lavishing them with his praise once more as he keeps his cock buried inside your tight heat.

“Yours is the only one that matters. The only pussy I’ll ever be in for the rest of my life.”

“That’s a good answer,” you smile. “Now, fuck me, lover boy.”

Jungkook winks and grips your hips with his hands. He swiftly pulls out, enamored with the way his cock is already covered in your creamy essence, then eagerly pushes back in. He sets a pace and soon the sound of skin clapping on skin echoes around the room.

“Oh god!” You’re moaning loudly, unabashedly. You’re thankful that Jungkook’s old roommate, Yoongi, moved out to live with his boyfriend Hoseok months ago. He’d definitely complain about the noise for months. “Fuck, Jungkook, you feel so good.”

Jungkook fucks into you with ferocity, speed and power gradually rising as he feels his core tighten with the coming anticipation of release.

“Mmm, you look so fucking sexy like this,” he murmurs. “Getting fucked by your best friend’s fat cock.”

He moves a hand from your hip, trails it up your body to squeeze at your breast, before he’s cupping your face once again. His hips snap against yours and he loves the way your mouth utters little squeaks and gasps with each deep thrust into you.

“God, my beautiful girl,” he groans. “Can’t wait to cum in this pussy, shit, you got me so fucking close.”

You open your mouth desperately and Jungkook easily slips his thumb in. You latch on quickly and suck, tongue swirling around the tip like you’re sucking another cock. It nearly sends him over the edge and the speed of his hips matches his desperate need for more.

“Fucking hell,” he bites back. He can feel his belly tighten, driven further and further to the edge by the constricting wetness of your cunt. 

He pulls his thumb out and moves it down to where his cock spears into you, allowing your spit to swirl with his thumb around your clit. Your core tightens around him at the added stimulation and your back arches up in ecstasy.

“I’m so c-close, Kook,” you plead, as if begging for mercy. “Please, I want to cum so bad.”

The speed of his thumb increases, and he watches as your face twists in pleasure and desperation. 

“Cum on my cock, baby, let me see you fall apart. Show me what I’ve dreamt of for so long.”

A high and wanton cry ripples out of your body as he savagely increases his speed, both his cock and thumb working overtime to drive you towards your end. The butterflies that erupt in your lower stomach make your moans louder, higher. You’re so close, closer than ever. It’s building to an incredible crescendo.

He can tell you’re close—he sees it on your face as your back arches and your fists grip his sheets.

“You look like a fucking angel, baby,” he whines as he soaks in the vision of you writhing underneath him. “I bet you cum like an angel, too. Let me see it, let me see.”

With just a few more swirls of his thumb and his deep, hard strokes, you’re soaring over the edge into a pool of nothingness. Your cunt pulsates wildly around his length, milking and stroking it with your tight walls. You throw your head back, moaning out his name at the top of his lungs, letting his neighbors know just who fucks you so well.

“Holy shit,” he gasps, hips stuttering as he fucks into your juicy hole. “That was so fucking sexy.”

You grip his forearms, holding onto him tight and encourage him to go harder. “Cum inside me, Kookie, please. I’m all yours, make me yours.”

His heart feels like it might burst in his chest. He’s always wanted you to say it to him, to hand over your love to him like he does so easily to you. It’s all so much, so overwhelming, and the feeling of your hot cunt still fluttering around him sends him reeling into his own completion. 

He spills into you, warm seed coating your walls and pooling inside your womb. He fucks himself through each throb of his cock until he’s sure he’s drained every ounce of himself into you.

Your legs slip off his shoulders easily, and he gently pulls himself out of you. He falls beside you, panting with exertion, and wraps an arm around you.

After a few silent moments of catching your breath, Jungkook pulls you in close to him until he can koala-cling to you, arms and legs both wrapped around your body.

“Mine,” he whispers as he kisses your head. “All mine.”

You return the favor, clinging to your best friend—boyfriend—like he’s your only lifeline.

“All yours.”

“So, you’re telling me, you got together because of Minecraft?” Jimin asks, pointing a fork in your direction. It’s been months now since your grand virtual declaration of love for Jungkook. Months of bliss and romance, laughter and companionship. 

You were right all along. Jungkook is everything you’ve wanted in a man and more.

You’re sitting at your brother’s expensive dinner table, enjoying a meal with his family with your boyfriend at your side.

“Yeah, Jimin, I guess that’s what I’m saying,” you retort as you roll your eyes. “Minecraft and Tinder.”

Baby Jisoo is awake and in your brother’s arms, but she’s whining and wiggling to leave him.

“What’s wrong, Soo?” Namjoon asks with a pout on his lips. “Why don’t you want daddy anymore?”

Jimin snorts at his husband and you hold out your arms for your baby niece. “Come here, baby, I know you want auntie.”

Namjoon dutifully hands over his daughter, sulking that he’s been picked over for his sister. 

You cradle the baby in your arms, expecting her to calm once she’s there, but she continues to fuss. She’s thrusting her arms out and nearly crying, reaching towards Jungkook who’s busy chowing down on Jimin’s homemade ramen.

“I think she wants you, Kook,” you murmur. He looks at you, then to the baby, then back to you, before he wipes his hands and face clean with a napkin.

“Oh, okay,” he whispers, slowly taking the baby from your arms with your help. “Hello, ma’am.”

Namjoon and Jimin laugh. “She’s a baby, Jungkook, not an elderly woman,” your brother teases.

Jungkook doesn’t listen. He’s too busy cooing at the baby in his arms and playing with her tiny hands. Namjoon turns his attention away and looks at you.

“Guess I won’t be the only provider of grandchildren for much longer.”

You playfully glare at him and turn away to watch your boyfriend. Watching Jungkook interact with your niece makes your heart swell, your soul sing. He’d be a perfect father.

“I swear, if he teaches her how to play Minecraft, he’s banned from the household,” Jimin grumbles. “This is a No-Nerd-Zone.”

Jungkook cradles the child and rocks back and forth, singing her a soft, made-up song, before he looks over at you.

“Hey, I want one of these,” he smiles. “Can we have one?”

You lay a hand on your stomach, a soft bump not quite visible yet. It’s only been one test, the lines faintly indicating ‘positive’ on the stick. You wanted to make sure, get confirmation before you spill the beans.

“Sure, Kookie.”

He grins and leans over to kiss you, before turning his attention back to the baby. “Okay, Jisoo, now let me tell you all about the Endermen.”

Jimin groans. “Oh my god, do not give Minecraft facts to my infant!”

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© ppersonna - 2021 - do not repost on any site, or translate without express permission from author.

[dragimal]

I’m thinking abt Annihilation again, specifically the scene where the group finds the video of Kane cutting open the soldier, and then they find the soldier in the pool

it’s like. idk how to describe it exactly, but the way the soldier is sat in water, surrounded by his fellows as if in support, the way the knife is washed clean so gently like it’s a sacred instrument, the rising orchestral singing... it all feels like a ritual, like something holy just took place. and that doesn’t even touch on how his body looks in the pool-- positioned with arms open like a welcome offering, framed in golden light, edges softened and colors bleeding like a renaissance figure... my god.

it’s just a really intense scene to me, and it does an excellent job of introducing the direction of the themes and tones within the Shimmer, if that makes sense. like the Shimmer’s not just about harm and horror-- its about change. to experience tragedy and pain, and come out the other side something new, something else

obviously the soldier’s end wasn’t necessarily good. I mean, I guess it could be interpreted as finding solace in religion before an inevitable death... but I feel like it has more to do with being consumed by something (religious fanaticism, in this case) as a means to cope. esp considering the parasitic fungus/lichen imagery (can lichen be parasitic? I’m getting off-topic..). but the point is less about his death, imo, and more about the way he shifted (emotionally, physically) in the Shimmer, and the subsequent response to that

I think there’s also something interesting there about the tension in the unknown. from the beginning, the mission is to understand the Shimmer, to know why it’s changing the environment. that one scientist even anthropomorphized it, asking what it “wanted” from Earth. the scientists tried to hypothesize and categorize it as a biological phenomenon, the soldiers tried to understand its goals, and at least some came to see it as some religious event that “needed” worship

but the Shimmer never wanted, and couldn’t be understood in a way that we could really comprehend. it didn’t have a point or a purpose, it just was, beyond whatever meaning we assigned to it

[bloodorangesoup]

Ice Cream and Bad TV | B.B.

Request: Late night thoughts : The only porn bucky watches are the ones that come on tv at like 2 or 3 in the mornings. Imagine cuddling up with him on his living room floor, aimlessly clicking around until you stumble upon the channel & he gets flustered & shy about it & you fuck him while porn plays in the background. Like I think it’s so romantic🥺🥺 riding him while the soft glow of the tv illuminates his face. His moans & grunting blending in with the actors 😫😫

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 3.6k (this was supposed to be a drabble but I cannot for the life of me control myself)

Warnings: NSFW 18+ | cuddle fucking, unprotected sex(pretend ur on birth control for a sec)(still wrap it b4 your tap it), flustered Bucky, porn talk, the tiniest bit of sub!Bucky for like half a second, fluffy smut, you get the gist

My Masterlist

Notes: I did this in one sitting so sorry if it’s repetitive or has any mistakes. I think I have a major soft sport for flustered Bucky. I also had to think of a realistic name for a TV porn channel so bear with me. This is my first time writing smut in non-headcanon form so let me know how I did! Happy reading!

It was 2am on a Thursday night when your phone rang with your boyfriend's caller I.D. This wasn't the first time that Bucky had called you for this instance, it became a routine for you to talk him down after a nightmare and you prepared to do so when you picked up. Usually the first thing you would hear was his heavy breaths, the anxious buzz in his body making him fumble his words as he tried to focus on talking to you, so you were surprised to be met with still breathing and his typical deep, steady voice.

"Doll? You there?"

"Yeah, Buck, I'm here," you replied with a yawn, trying to sound as awake as possible. Bucky could hear the airiness of your voice and let out a sigh.

"Sorry, baby, I woke you up."

"You say that every time, I don't mind waking up for you. Besides, I don't have work tomorrow so I don't exactly need my beauty rest."

There was a pause. You could still hear static from the other side of the call but Bucky didn't say a word.

"Buck? You okay?" As if you snapped him out of a daydream, his hurried words rushed through the phone.

"Yeah yeah, sorry. I'm kind of out of it right now, I had another bad dream."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You had expected his usual answer of yes, then you would listen to his thoughts and comfort him through the horrific reality that were his nightmares.

"You said you don't have work tomorrow? Do you think you could come over right now? Actually never mind, I don't know what I'm saying, it's 2am." You could practically see Bucky shaking his head as he took back his question.

"I'll be there in twenty, James. You better have some blankets and pillows ready for me because we're taking over your couch."

Bucky let out a breath over the line, "See you soon, y/n, love you."

"Love you more," you said quickly before hanging up, not letting him get in the last 'I love you.'

~

Forty minutes later you found yourself on Bucky's lap on his living room floor. You two had abandoned the idea of the couch and chose to make a small fort with the couch as your scaffolding. There was a surprising amount of pillows and blankets surrounding the two of you, you had no idea Bucky even owned them all.

He sat with his back against the couch, your legs laid over his and your arms were around his neck, bringing his head down to your chest. He talked about his nightmare, sparing you the gruesome details, and once he was done he closed his eyes and leaned further into your chest, breathing in your scent. You gave the crown of his head a kiss and rested your head atop his. Comfortable silence washed over the two of you before you spoke up.

“You know what always makes me feel better?” you asked, lifting your head just enough to look down at him.

“What?” he mumbled into your chest. A soft smile graced your face at his cuteness.

“Ice cream and bad TV!” you announced excitedly before wiggling out of his grasp.

You did a little jog to his kitchen and reached down into the freezer to grab a small pint of ice cream you knew Bucky always kept stashed for you whenever you came around. Picking up two spoons and turning off all the lights in the apartment on your way, you quickly made your way back into the living room, lifting Bucky’s arms to situate yourself back into your position on his lap. You popped the lid of the small tub and handed it to Bucky along with a spoon. With your hands now free, you felt around in the dark for the remote and turned on the TV.

Waiting for the TV to completely turn on, you ate a spoonful of ice cream. You hummed at the taste of the cold sweetness coating your tongue. You gasped as you opened your eyes, finding Bucky scooping out some ice cream and lowering it to your mouth.

“Oh wait, let me make this cuter!” you squealed with your eyes wide.

Copying Bucky’s actions, you took a spoonful and lifted it to his lips, the both of you opening wide and feeding each other. You giggled at the cliché moment and Bucky couldn’t help but let out a chuckle at how adorable you were.

You turned back to the TV, lifting the remote in your hands to change the channel to anything but the news that was already playing on the screen. As you flipped through sports recaps, music channels, infomercials, and movies that were already almost over, you sighed.

“Ugh, there’s nothing good on. Maybe if I start from the end of the list there’ll be better stuff,” you huffed.

Before Bucky could register what you said you had already typed in the biggest number you could enter and began flipping down through channels. Surfing through the empty screens, you landed on one called HotNet and suddenly the screen was completely taken over by a pair of boobs which then cut to a woman on her back and a man on top of her, rutting into her at a slow pace, while her moans echoed throughout the apartment. You quickly shuffled with the remote, trying to turn the volume down from it’s loud setting, spooked at the loud, obscene noise coming from the speaker.

“Oh my gosh, I wasn’t expecting that,” you laughed into Bucky’s chest, “God, I hope your neighbors didn’t hear that.”

Bucky stared at the screen with wide eyes, hoping you would change the channel before noticing that the channel was in the On Demand section. You gasped through your laugh, collecting yourself before turning back to the TV and shaking your head.

“Jeez, I didn’t even know they still had porn like this on public television.” You looked back down at the remote, clicking the Guide button. Bucky’s heart stopped as the description took over the screen, the video still playing in the top right corner. In bold letters the words On Demand titled the card. Even worse, the bottom of the screen displayed a small box containing the information,

$19.99

purchased with debit card xxxx-9758

You furrowed your brows in confusion, realization slowly softening them, before a mischievous smirk took over your face. You lifted your head to look at Bucky, his face looked down at your lap, refusing to meet your eyes. You tapped the bottom of his chin with the remote, lifting his head to meet your gaze.

“Did you order TV porn, Jamie?” He could hear the teasing tone in your voice, and you only ever used that nickname when joking around, yet Bucky still felt extremely embarrassed. He felt as if he just got walked in on while touching himself. It didn’t help that it was you that saw it, he wanted to crawl in a hole and never look back.

“Ah, you’re blushing,” you squealed as you took his cheeks in your hands, “oh come on, it’s not that embarrassing Bucky.”

“Ugh, can we please pretend you didn’t just see that,” Bucky groaned, closing his eyes to escape your stare. He set down the ice cream next to him and lifted his forearm over his eyes.

You let out a breathy laugh, grabbing his shoulders to stabilize yourself and pushing up to swing your leg under you to the other side of his lap, you straddled him.

“Hey, it’s really not that bad. I mean we’ve had sex before Buck, I think you’d rather have me find this than Sam or someone else.” He let out another groan and lowered his head to lean against your neck.

“Angel, please don’t talk about Sam while you’re on top of me and there’s porn playing on the TV.”

You laughed and ran your hands down his arms, letting one of your hands run up behind his neck and weaving your fingers into his hair. You gripped the back of his head and gently tugged him back up to face you.

“Why,” you sang, deciding to have some fun with him in his flustered state, “is this turning you on?” you whispered the last part.

Before he could respond you leaned down and kissed him. You didn’t bother to start off slow as you usually would, Bucky could taste the hunger from every parting of your lips. His hands gripped your waist, you rocked your weight forwards to rub against him. Bucky’s head clouded, his senses felt overloaded in the best way possible, your movements mixed with the sounds of the moaning coming from the TV were getting him hot. You pulled back before getting too carried away, a smile on your swollen lips.

“So, baby, tell me about it.” You said. It was Bucky’s turn to furrow his brows and he cocked his head to the side in question, mind still foggy from the feeling of you grinding on him.

“What kind of porn do you watch?” you clarified, looking at him like you just asked what his favorite color was.

“Uhm, you want to know about that stuff?” Bucky looked at you with caution, feeling out if he should listen to you or not.

“Well, yeah. I mean I don’t know how it was back then, but most people nowadays watch porn. It’s not super taboo to talk about it,” you explained. You weren’t going to force him to talk about it if he really didn’t want to, but your desire to hear what Bucky was into was strong.

He hesitated for a moment, looking in your eyes and seeing curiosity clouded with lust. He cleared his throat.

“Well, pretty much this stuff,” he gestured with his hand to the TV before putting it back on your waist, “there’s this girl on there, she kinda looks like you, so I buy the videos with her.” He closed his eyes and internally groaned at his words, he didn’t mean to come off so perverted. God, you had already found his porn, the last thing he needed was for you to be thinking he was a creep.

“Y’know that’s actually kinda sweet,” you giggled, “what do you like about those videos?”

Feeling a bit more comfortable knowing you weren’t grossed out, Bucky continued.

“I like the ones where it’s dark and slow. It’s usually quiet and there’s candles and stuff,” he explained shyly. Of all the surprises that came with dating Bucky, you had to admit finding out he was into romantic porn was one of the biggest ones.

Bucky cleared his throat again before questioning you, “Do you watch porn?” He felt almost wrong asking that. He knew that women in this age were more sexually liberated, but the words still felt sticky in his mouth.

“Oh, yeah, of course I do.” Bucky seemed surprised at how casually you answered. He raised his eyebrows, silently asking you to go on.

“Well specifically, I actually really like the videos that are like this,” you said, your head looking down at you straddling him, he followed your gaze, taking in how nice you felt on his lap. You leaned forward, bracing your hands on his chest. Your faces were so close your noses were almost touching. You could feel his rapid heart beat under your palm and the quick rise and fall of his chest. “Do you ever watch the ones that look like this, Bucky?” He looked up at you and nodded with wide eyes, his pupils were blown and his mouth was open like he was searching for the words to respond.

You grasped his jaw in your hand, your thumb on his chin, and looked him in the eyes. You wanted nothing more than to jump his bones, but with the newfound knowledge you had, you took your time with your actions. Within the last five minutes, Bucky had revealed to you not only that he liked soft, romantic porn, but that he also watched a specific actress because she looks like you. The one goal in your head was to fulfill his fantasy the best you could at the moment.

With his head still in your hand, you held your eye contact as you let your knees move out, grinding yourself against his growing erection. He let out an involuntary whimper. That was the last straw. You pulled his face to yours, joining him in a hard, yet loving kiss. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pushing your chest against his, trying to get as close as possible.

Bucky’s dick was painfully hard. He couldn’t focus on anything but the feeling of you on top of him. His body felt like it was on fire, he was insatiably horny and couldn’t control the way his hips bucked up to grind with you. He felt like a horny teenager the way his mind was filled only with images of you naked, imagining you like that on top of him like you were now.

You slipped your tongue past his lips, keeping your pace slow as you glided it across and bit at his lower lip. A moan made its way out of your mouth and into his as you felt him buck up against you.

You slid your hands down his chest, fumbling with the hem of his shirt before his arms raised, giving you access to peel it off him, throwing it up on the couch. Bucky kissed down your neck, licking over the shell of your ear, and sucking at the center of your throat. He reached down and slipped his hands under your shirt, sliding up and down your waist before gliding up and lifting your shirt over your head, discarding it with his.

Bucky wasted no time reaching around you and unclipping your bra and dragging it down your shoulders. He cupped your breasts, squeezing them with his large hands before bringing you into another tender kiss. Despite your frantic movements, there was a spark of passion cracking through the air, the both of you desperate to feel each other closer.

You broke the kiss, breathing heavily and resting your forehead against his.

“I wanna make love to you, y/n, please, let me make love to you,” he groaned with a slight whine in his voice. He sounded like he was about to crack.

“Please, Bucky.”

You leaned back on your hands and lifted your hips, giving Bucky the room to pull down your shorts and panties in a few swift tugs. He quickly got up on his knees and pulled down his sweats and boxers, sitting back down and tugging them off his legs. You reached your arms forward, Bucky grabbing a hold of your wrists and pulling you back to straddle him again. You gasped at the feeling of his cock under your bare pussy, your wetness from all the grinding and kissing making you slide over him.

You leaned forwards, capturing his lips between yours and raising yourself up on your knees. Reaching under yourself, you gripped his cock, wet with your arousal, and lined him up with your cunt. Bucky gripped your hips as you sank down on him, using every ounce of self control to stop himself from rutting up into you. You stayed like that for a second, adjusting to the way he filled you. Seeing the remote lying on the floor, you grabbed it and slightly turned up the volume, only enough so that you and Bucky could hear the actress in the video being ravished by her co-star.

Bracing your hands on his shoulders, you began to slowly move up and down over him, riding him just as you had told him you liked to watch. His hands moved up from your waist, squeezing your tits, pinching your nipples in between his fingers. You let out a hiss as he rolled them between his fore finger and his thumb, tugging on and rubbing his thumbs over them. He reached around to grab your ass, squeezing and rubbing your cheeks and you used him to pleasure yourself.

You were a moaning mess over him and he wasn’t much different. The room was filled with the sounds of the porn playing on the TV mixed with the sounds of your own cries of pleasure. If the neighbors hadn’t been woken up by the TV, they sure were by you two.

Bucky sat back on his knees, his hands slid down to your thighs, moving your legs from under them and wrapping your legs around his back. His arms worked their way back up to wrap around your waist, bringing you ever so close. The new angle pushed him even deeper up into you. He buried his head in the crook of your neck, giving you access to all the sweet, desperate sounds falling from his lips.

You were now pushing up with your feet behind him, rolling your hips over his. The new technique made your clit rub over his pelvis, the sensation making you throw your head back and let out a deep moan. He took the opportunity to continue kissing your neck, going lower with every lick and bite. He sucked at your collarbone, leaving a deep purple mark in its place.

Suddenly, he was using his arms to lift you up, not pulling out of you, and laying you down on the blanket-covered floor. You instinctively locked your ankles together, pulling him closer as he thrusted into you. Bucky had his metal arm holding himself up while his flesh one squeezed your breasts, feeling them move with his thrusts. He lowered his head to your chest and licked one of your nipples, grazing his teeth over it before taking it in between his lips and sucking. Your hands flew to the back of his head, singing praises as you wove your fingers into his hair. He continued to alternate between your breasts, leaving love bites around them and sucking on their sensitive peaks.

You could feel your body buzz with anticipation, you were so close. The moans escaping your mouth were lewd and uncontrolled. Bucky wrapped his flesh hand around your waist, lifting your chest flush against his.

You snaked your arms around his neck, pulling yourself up to kiss him. Nothing felt better than making love with Bucky felt. This was definitely not the first time you two had been intimate, but none of those previous times had ever been like this. You could feel the passion flowing through his body into yours. You looked up at his form over you, how beautiful he looked with the light of the TV screen glistening against the beads of sweat on his forehead. There was absolutely nothing in the world compared to having him, in all his beauty, to yourself like this.

Bucky’s heart was exploding in his chest. What had started out as an embarrassing, nightmare-fueled night had turned into the most intimate experience he ever had in his life. Love was already established in your relationship, but Bucky had never truly made love to you. He looked down in awe at your disheveled state, at the way your hair was sticking to your forehead, at the way the only light in the room gave you an angelic glow. He wanted nothing more than to give himself completely to you, to make you come all over him.

He leaned his forehead against yours, pushing his face forward once every few seconds to kiss you. He was close, and he wanted you to come with him. He leaned into you even more, his cheek pressed against yours, his lips next to your ear.

“I love you so much, y/n, God, you feel so good. I love you, I love you,” Bucky’s voice was deep and strained, his words being emphasized by each push into your wet pussy. You let out another loud moan.

“I love you, James,” you whined as he hit your sweet spot, “I love you so much.”

Bucky’s hand wedged itself in between the two of you, his fingers finding your clit and gently rubbing it. You were completely overwhelmed, this is what it felt like to make love to someone. Your body began to shake and your breathing became erratic. Bucky thrusted harder, working to push you over the edge.

“I want you to come in me, Bucky,” you gasped as his thrusts got faster and lost their rhythm.

Your mouth turned open in a silent scream as you came. Bucky felt your walls clench around him, squeezing the life out of him. He let out a shaky groan as he fell over the edge. His eyes shut tight and his body tensed as he spilled into you.

Wrapping his metal arm around your back and securing your body to his, he rolled on his flesh shoulder onto his back. You went limp against him, laying your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat slow down. He was still buried within you, connected to you. Letting your eyelids fall shut, you savored the feeling of being full of him and his love.

You lifted your head to kiss his jaw.

“I’m glad you called me, Bucky. I love you.”

“I am too, doll. I love you more.”