#also i never cared about pekka way too much pekka

[fullmetal-angelgrace]

well damn, they sure shoved a ton of bullshit into the last 30 minutes of shadow and bone season 2.....

[a-mythologynerd]

I just think there’s something really integral to Kaz’s character and the concept of “was there no one to protect you?”

Kaz who watched out for all the others and saves them (albeit for non altruistic motivations). Every one of the crew would be in a worse place without Kaz’s intervention despite its uncharitable reasons, Jesper to his creditors and rival gangs, Inej to the Menagerie, Nina to Pekka’s brothel, Matthias to Hellgate, and especially Wylan, who serves as a direct character foil to Kaz, to harbor or the violence of the Barrel.

Kaz who had and lost his older brother to watch out for him. Who saw his brother fail. Who only is beginning to grapple with the fact that his brother was also failed and deserved someone to watch over him too.

Kaz who was left all alone and had no one, who treats gangs as a means to an end as opposed to the lens of family others treat it. Kaz who never joined the gangs until he was much older and only because it would give him leverage against Pekka. Who kept Per Haskell at an arm’s reach after learning how characters like him only pretend to watch out for you. Only pretend to protect you

Kaz who takes on the symbol of the crow because “they tell each other who to look after and who to watch out for.” Kaz who protects his crows, the only way he knows how. “Was there no one there to protect you?” As a character Kaz refuses weakness and believes caring for others makes you weak and he preaches this to the end but his actions demonstrate again and again that he will go down the ship. He goes back for Inej at the harbor, he wants Inej to have a net, he gets Jesper HIS guns back, he won’t give over the pareem, he let’s Nina try to get the Grisha out, he encourages Wylan, reveals Wylan’s mothers location and gives Wylan back his money, he can’t face Matthias’s final send off, he tries to sacrifice himself at the Geldrunner so his crew can get out.

And I think that’s really neat. He’s a twisted version of ensuring that no one else goes through what he did. I mean he definitely isn’t nice about it but I think that’s why Kaz doesn’t scoff when Inej askes that question. Deep down he wants that too and he makes his own, making the creation of the Silver Six all the more telling.

[wylanslcve]

I love the way S2 showed the difference between how Jesper approaches a high-stakes situation in comparison to Wylan, specifically in the scene where they sneak into Pekka's estate by entering through an open window. Jesper practically jumps from the windowsill and then twirls his gun, whereas Wylan gently lowers himself from the windowsill before lightly dropping himself down when he's crouched close enough to the ground.

We know that Jesper thrives off chaos and spontaneity, hence why he leaps from the windowsill and immediately twirls his gun: he's diving head-first into the action. He actively seeks fights because of the thrill they bring him, because he "always felt better when people were shooting at him". You can practically see the adrenaline coursing through him.

Wylan slowly lowering himself until he's close enough to drop down is more careful and deliberate than Jesper's leap, and it shows the complete opposite: Wylan is more cautious and wary than Jesper because he doesn't thrive off the chaos of a fight. He doesn't find anything thrilling about being in a dangerous situation, especially when you consider his sheltered upbringing. (I say sheltered because, though abusive, his household never exposed him to the dangers of Barrel life. This is made clear in Crooked Kingdom when Wylan is reliving his first months in the Barrel, thinking about how "he might not have been happy at his father’s house, but he’d never had to work for anything. He’d had servants, hot meals, clean clothes. Whatever it took to survive the Barrel, Wylan knew he didn’t have it.") He doesn't want to get in trouble or get wrapped up in these sorts of situations because that's not who he wants to be - he doesn't want to be a criminal.

However, he inevitably leaps from the windowsill too (just when he's crouched low enough to do so) rather than slowly sliding off it and onto the ground, exemplifying how, despite how he doesn't want to be a criminal, he still contributes to the task at hand and gets involved in these types of situations. His hesitancy doesn’t paralyse him regardless of the fact that he doesn’t want to partake in criminal activity. Whether or not he wants to do it, this is the path he's decided to pursue and he needs to do his part.

This difference is also exemplified in the scene in S2E5 where Zoya and Tolya are recruiting the Crows for the heist to steal the Neshyenyer blade. When they offer payment for the Crows’ contributions, Jesper responds with “I like the sound of that” before taking a shot of something. In a way, it echoes the “time for a heist!” scene in season one, emphasising Jesper’s willingness to go on a heist due to the thrill it brings (as well as the prospect of a monetary reward). On the other hand, while Jesper is enthusiastically agreeing to Zoya and Tolya’s request, Wylan is giving him the bombastic side-eye due to Jesper's willingness to accept the mission without hesitation.

Again, Wylan can't fathom how someone could be so willing to go on such a mission, so he's side-eyeing Jesper in disbelief and almost disapproval but he's also not at all surprised because this is Jesper Llewellyn Fahey. Remember, Wylan doesn't thrive off adrenaline rushes the way Jesper does - he's only doing all of this because 1) his entire motivation is to "make his money, get out of town, and never speak the name Van Eck again" and 2) he pretty much has no other choice because he makes it very clear that "he would sell himself in the pleasure houses of West Stave before he’d ask for his father’s mercy".

[neptune-scythe]

Do you ever think about how Kaz making sure Inej is reunited with her brother is so he doesn't have to deal with his own grief?

Hear me out

Obviously he cares about Inej and wants her to have her family back and that's his main focus, or at least his main focus consciously

But here's the thing

They're mirrors of each other. Two people who lost brothers, Kaz's is gone forever ... But inej's is still out there (probably). Now we all know Kaz has never dealt with his grief, and probably barely even acknowledges it, mostly because he doesn't know how. That's not something people just ... Know how to do, grief is a process and if you don't have a single other person to help you or even be the slightest bit supportive it's going to be nearly impossible to grieve in a healthy way. Let alone being in a constant state of survival mode having to watch your back all the time because you're a kid in a very dangerous place and pretty much ever single person is an enemy, or at least not someone trustworthy or helpful. But I hella digress my bad

My point is Kaz hasn't dealt with the loss of his brother (why have I not used his name once? Bitch idfk my bad Jordie you deserve better bestie), which was a meaningless death. And by that I mean Jordie didn't sacrifice himself for some cause, he wasn't a casualty of a greater issue ... He just died. Because that what people do.

And especially for a kid who's all alone with not a single soul left on the earth who gives a damn about him, that's a pretty tricky concept to grasp. That your whole world, the most imporant person in your life could just die ... Just be completely gone in a moment. Thus why Kaz immediately blames Pekka and devotes his life to revenge, even though Pekka was only indirectly involved in Jodie's death. But blaming Pekka gives his death a meaning, it means there's something he can do to make it mean something.

Once again super digressed from my main point whoopsieeee. Hope y'all are enjoying the wild ride of my thoughts rn (I'm literally just stream of consciousness writing this shit, and for shits and giggles imma leave it that way no edits this is a first draft post you're welcome)

N E WAY

Jodie's death WAIT A SECOND HOW MANY TIMES HAS IT AUTOCORRECTED TO JODIE 💀

I'll never know because I'm not rereading this shit

Anyway

JORDIE's death meant nothing, and Kaz's revenge on Pekka didn't give it meaning either ... Which he probably knew deep down that it wouldn't. But those are the kinds of thoughts we ✨silence✨ because we need the rage for vengeance to keep us alive and doing things.

Now back to Inej and Harij.

Reuniting them will for Kaz make his own situation mean something (in my opinion don't at me these my head canon thoughts). That even though he can't bring his own brother back, he can bring back hers. And knowing that they're together will make his own grief a little easier to bear. It balances it out, if you will.

Two brothers lost, one brother found. Good math

OK BUT ALSO HAVE YOU CONSIDERED

Harij is Inej's younger brother

So consider Kaz is doing it as much for him as for Inej. He's making sure another little boy (he's obviously not a little boy anymore but like ... He was 12 ((idk how old he'd be know)) and that's plenty young) doesn't have to lose his older sibling forever.

And also consider

Kaz knows he doesn't deserve Inej, he knows he most likely won't always have her ... And more importantly she won't always have him.

He won't always be able to protect her, to keep her safe. But her brother could. Her brother could be there for her and her support her and even do a far better job (probs idk what bros personality is like but I bet Kaz Brekker is assuming shit too) than Kaz could. So by reuniting her with her brother he's making sure she's taken care of, that even if he lets her down, she'll never be alone.

Because real talk her

Y'all are allowed to have your head canons and shit I am NOT gatekeeping

But canonically Kaz Brekker is not the jealous or possessive type. If Inej wanted to leave him for someone else he'd be upset yeah but he's knows full well Inej is a living Saint and worth far more than he could ever deserve in a billion lifetimes, and he's also far more concerned with her happiness and well-being than what she can provide for him.

So he'd be satisfied being away from her, not knowing a single thing about her life, as long as he knows her brother is there with her.

He doesn't need to take care of her, he just needs to know that she is taken care of.

I rest my case

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Thank you for coming to my TedTalk 🫡

(addition because I did actually reread it and damn I somehow forgot my entire point???

So yeah

About him using reuniting Harij and Inej as a way to avoid dealing with his grief.

It's like this

Brother dies

Kaz goes straight to revenge, never actually processes any of it, just jumps straight into making Pekka pay for it ... Which tbh is dealing with it in a sense but it's in a very passive way of going straight to doing without ever processing ... If that makes sense.

And that's repaying violence with violence, which leads to more violence. It's a cycle of destruction that Kaz is playing into, which is very hard to get out of once it starts.

But reuniting Harij and Inej is a break in that cycle. It's Kaz using his own pain as motivation and incentive to do something that will heal others. And making sure that neither Inej nor Harij get caught in the same cycle as Kaz did, it's using his own knowledge of that cycle to protect others from it. And more specifically, he doesn't know how to heal himself, he doesn't know how to move on or process and grieve, he doesn't know how to leave the cycle ... So he's helping Inej and Harij heal from their pain instead, and making sure they never enter the cycle.

Because he probably is well aware that revenge isn't the healthiest way to channel grief (but bro doesn't care because Pekka needs to be put in his place and we stan him for that), but channeling it into helping someone he loves is healthy.

And real talk here

Kaz probably believes he will never move on or heal from Jordie's death. Thus him being trapped in the ouroboros of suffering ... And go with me here.

If we view the ouroboros (snake eating its own tail if y'all don't know) as a literal scenario Kaz is trapped in, it's a mental prison basically, and one he has accepted that he will never leave. His fate is sealed, and he can't do anything to save himself from that.

BUT even if he can't ever break out of the ouroboros, he can keep others out, he can't save himself but he can save others from being trapped there as well.

And because of this he won't have to deal with the fact that he's trapped, he can focus all his energy on keeping others out ... And it gives it meaning. That even though he's trapped forever and can't do anything for himself, he can do something for other people because of it. Because the only way to avoid the ouroboros is if someone inside warns you.

That was a wild metaphor I hope that made sense lol

Also once again these are my head canons and I wrote it from Kaz's perspective so to speak, so when I say things like He cAn NEVer HeAl that's because that's what he thinks (imo) not what is objectively true. Healing is absolutely possible and bro can get it he just doesn't know it yet.)

[targaryenluvs]

So hello, I think I placed this request is someone else inbox and it’s so embarrassing. So I hope you're having a good day/night. I was wondering if you would consider the crows × teen! reader. Like the one you have done, because I love that. Maybe she has her first crush and everyone is reaching in their own way. I just really want to see kaz glaring and staring at the boy and is scared him so much. (Protective dad)

-🦢

this is shorter than most since i’m in a rush but enjoy!

Where'd All The Time Go?

kaz brekker x teen!reader, crows x teen!reader, oc x teen!reader

warnings: cursing, yelling, intimidation? (idk if that counts) kissing

You’d tried so hard to hide him.

Elias, or Eli as you called him was amazing. You’d meet him whilst shopping with Nina and you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him.

He was the son of a Pub Owner, but he wanted to be more. His ambition matched yours, so did his personality. The two of you got to talking and ended up conversing for hours. To the point where Jesper had to run around and try to find you which lead to you lecturing him on the fact that you were sixteen and able to handle yourself at night.

On the way home you begged Jesper not to mention it to anyone except Wylan. Wylan would never tell a soul and Wylan would make sure Jesper never let it slip. You had wanted to tell Nina but she would tell Matthias and you weren't sure if he fully understood the concept of a secret relationship and Nina had a particularly loud personality.

So you snuck around, Eli also worked as a Barkeep and would sometimes pick up on information left out in the open by inebriated customers which he'd relay to you.

You were able to sneak him books, his father wanted him focused on running the bar one day but you knew it wasn't what he wanted out of life.

You'd spend the time you usually set aside for leisure time to spend helping Eli study. It was too risky to bring him into the Slat or the Crow Club since you knew you'd run into someone you knew who'd question you for his presence.

Eli's mother knew about the two of you and loved you a lot, you were well-mannered and educated as well as gorgeous. What's not to like? And you loved her too. She always had something to give you, a trinket, a book etc. One of the things you adored?

Her cooking. Gosh it was like being transported to heaven. She herself was half Zemeni and it was always nice to have someone appreciate your culture.

Sometimes you showed up just to talk to her.

When his parents were out and two of you had the place to yourselves you loved to cook together. It helped you imagine a future life together, peaceful and sweet.

But when his dad was in you'd sneak him into your place.

And you'd always been so careful, until today.

You had a few drinks at a local tavern, perhaps a bit more than a few but who was counting?

Eli had gotten himself a secret job at the biggest Library around with the only problem being that it was so close to Pekka Rollins turf. You knew if he found out about Eli he would be used to lure you.

Instead of scaling the walls to your bedroom you thought that walking right inside would be more fitting. "I'm so hungry E." You whined as Eli laughed, "I'll bake you something. Make you some eat."

You giggled, "What in the Saints are you on about?" Eli pushed open the door as he frowned, "Don't mock me, that is a very rude thing to do my love." As you walked in you felt at home, quickly you lead him upstairs as fast as possible, along with a few trips on the stairs.

But your swift escape was foiled when you ran right into Kaz.

"Y/n." He spoke in an angry tone, although anger wasn't new in Kaz's case. "Kaz." You replied in a low, mocking tone. "See now that's mocking babe." You laughed, but Eli wasn't.

"What's wrong?" He laughed drily, "Nothing, just the fact that he's staring at me like he's gonna skin me and maybe shoot me in the head to finish it off." That brought out a smirk from Kaz, "Would you suggest another way to ward off unseemly boys from trying to get with a girl too high above them in every way.

"Aww how nice of you to say so Kazzle. Come along E." You smiled but as you walked Kaz grabbed your wrist before swiftly pulling back.

"You can go upstairs but he cannot. Leave. Now."

"That's not fair! He's my guest and my boyfriend he can do as he please."

"Boyfriend?"

"I mean a friend who just so happens to be a boy. Goodnight!"

"Y/n."

"Yes she's my girlfriend and there's nothing you can do about it. She's a grown woman and not a little kid with a crush, I know who she is. She's not stupid and you know that. Y/n wouldn't risk getting into a relationship if she didn't know the person and if they weren't a good guy. I love her with everything I have. She always pushes me to be my best and half the things I've been to scared of doing she held my hand and led me through it. She taught me so much and I'm forever grateful. She's absolutely gorgeous, intelligent, articulate, well-spoken and overall an incredible woman and I'm forever grateful she chose to be with me and I will always treat her with the upmost respect because she deserves nothing less."

"And E is a good guy. He's sweet, and genuine. He always knows when I'm in a bad mood and he always knows how to cheer me up. He cooks for me when I can't be bothered. He reminds me to clean up, he knows everything about me and I him. No I haven't met his father yet but that's because he's an ass. His mothers an amazing woman and incredibly sweet to me and treats me like I'm her own. And not only is Eli an amazing guy but he's super pretty!" You exhaled and inhaled quickly.

Eli stood with his jaw dropped and eyes bulging. "I- Y/n." You sat down on the stairs with him as he sat next to you with his hands clasped with yours.

Kaz was stunned, and he hadn't been speechless in forever, his fast thinking and wit was one of the main reasons he survived.

Inej and Nina were standing with Kaz, a bit behind him.

"I think I'm going to cry, I wish Matthias would say something like that to me."

Inej smiled, she'd always known you'd attract suitors, you were nothing short of stunning. But the Barrel had no shortage of annoying, immature boys and she was thanking all her Saints you had seemed to find the best.

Kaz looked back at her, Oh how he wished he could say that, express all of his millions of thoughts and praise. But it was too hard, so he looked back at you to see Eli smiling whilst resting your forehead on his.

And so he relented, "Leave the door open halfway and if you try anything I will drag you through the streets attached to a wagon and then let the Crows have a go. It's been a while since we delivered a proper beating."

"Yes sir." Eli nodded, you were surprised his head didn't fall off with how quickly he nodded.

Kaz sat back down at his desk and opened his locked drawer, grabbing one of the old notes you use to leave him, it had a drawing of a flower, your favourite, a Black Dahlia. And he couldn't help but sigh.

Where'd all the time go?

[shoepolishpolice]

SIX OF CROWS SPIN-OFF PREDICTIONS

Part 1

I have thought this through and you know what..I think we can all get what we want. I’m going to breakdown how they can work with the storyline they’ve made and give justice to the crows.

(This is my jumbled non stop thoughts btw I’m not referring to the books really so I expect I’ll miss a few things)

To start here’s some basics:

• We won’t be seeing Per Haskell again, the Dregs and Crow club belong to Kaz and in the new season I expect we will see a much younger crew including Kesh and Anika compared to the random old dudes Kaz beat up in s2. Also the Crow and the Cup tattoos.

• There will be a much bigger focus on family and particularly parents - every single crow has major shit w parents. I think something that is never given much thought even in the books is how young children are taken from the family’s to train as grisha and they don’t return- this happened to nina and it really wasn’t discussed much and should be.

• The eight episodes have actually already been written and we know there is an Inej centric episode and a Wylan one too. I expect Inej’s episode will be a standout as we’ve seen pretty much nothing about her past- definitely the hardest to watch but one that very much deserves telling and Amita is an incredible actress and I completely trust her w Inej

• We’ve already had an article saying sab3 is king of scars based plus the new Alina and mal!sturmhond story but the soc story would happen simultaneously. There’s a chance the last scene we see is s2 actually happens after the crows have already been to the ice court and they call for Nikolai around this time- meaning it can be dealt w before having Alina exposed to Parem which I don’t care for and they said they waited for the story as they didn’t want the darkling to use it

• also people seem to think inej is not coming back- obviously she is. Pretty sure they r sending her away to get a taste of what she could do and will return w a sense of purpose and revenge - I’ll explain why later. Also the writers have said she only goes for a few weeks so it’s cool

• we will see a lot of flashbacks for each crow- we’ve seen about two mins worth of Kaz’s and I want them to explore his rise through the barrel as a kid and show his life in lij to prove truly how cruel the world was to him. Obviously Wylan’s past is a major focus of this story but I expect we will get that in a Crooked Kingdom based series two which is also thr first time we got a wylan pov chapter. Hopefully we will get to see more of Jespers childhood but again probably a bigger focus for later when colm arrives. As for Matthias I hope we see how he was raised in a militant, angry cultish way after the death of his family. I don’t expect we will get much on nina but I hope we do as i always felt we missed out slightly on the effects of her past. And ofcourse Inej who I hope they take the most care with in their retelling.

Now getting the plot back on track is actual quite simple and people r freaking out for no reason.. so here it is

I expect the show will start w Kaz agreeing to Van Ecks offer w all that came along in his first book chapter and a longer version of the crows last scenes w just saw in s2

Next inej will return - kaz will call for her but I think what will also bring her back is the return of Tante Heleen. We didn’t see a body and we know pekka ‘killed’ her to frame kaz so who’s to say he bothered killing her and just paid her off but now serves as his way out of hellgate

With Tante Heleen alive, pekka is no longer guilty of murder and will be released from Hellgate. This is potentially how pekka and Van Eck connect- pekka will want retribution for wrongly being imprisoned and will receive a lot of money from the merchant council as compensation

This will set off kaz and inej and THIS will now be the CK ending where we get full closure with their pasts. The books kept Heleen and pekka alive so I think the show will see it through to the end. People felt we got Kaz’s revenge too soon so I expect them to find an even bigger, badder and more horrific way to fuck them over

The kanej reunion upon Inej’s return from sea is going to set the tone. Either kaz has begun to make progress in her absence or he’s closed himself off tenfold

Now helnik is pretty much unchanged, their scenes were basically word for word in s1 and I think it can carry on for soc. They’re most likely to be the most book accurate ship now and i hope there will be a lot more emotional depth and background to Matthias who I think is completely underrated and overlooked. He has an incredibly big character arc and I think we will see a lot more of what is costs him

So they break Matthias out of Hellgate most likely in a very similar way to the books.

Now we get the Wylan identity reveal. Wesper is already established so it’s going to be an even bigger shock. However I think jespers gambling addiction will have gotten a lot worse in a very short space of time and this has already been causing a problem + I think they gleamed over him coming to terms w being grisha too fast so they will back track a bit when Colm gets involved which reminds Jesper why he hid for so long

Now I think we could get the ck last chapter here w inej threatening pekka and Alby before they depart. However it will backfire a bit. He will actually get spurred on to take down kaz and he’ll realise there’s something between kaz and inej. He can team up w heleen and use it against them

Now the next part can actually carry on faithfully to the books - if Jesper is back in debt his slip up will get back to pekka and result in the harbour ambush and Kaz’s distrust of Jesper. Also perhaps they use the hummingbird rather than the ferolind

Notorious kaz boyfriend of ripping eyes out will ensue

Now here’s something new. Kaz won’t stay away from inej now, it would completely eradicate everything that just happened in s2. So I expect we will get another bandage scene here or simply see kaz watching over inej as she heals

Now this is where I think the inej episode will fit (within the first 4 eps) it will delve into her past in ravka, her abduction, time at the menagerie and meeting kaz/being trained by him (that last one may happen throughout the series tho and perhaps more from Kaz’s perspective like in the books). And here’s where we see what inej has been doing whilst away briefly and how she felt bringing down slavers and her new purpose to track down those who hurt her and take down heleen

Now pretty much everything from this point onwards to the end of the Six of Crows books can remain the same. The differences are: established wesper, most likely pekka isn’t hired for this job, a more open kanej and a slightly more powerful kaz as a baby barrel boss

I’m not going to re explain the story here as they have used very little SOC plot so far

They have done a version of the prison wagon scene but I think they will do the book one too as inej will be there, kaz faints this time and ultimately it’s worse then the s2 one (which made me feel physically sick for kaz all within the first 15 mins of the show)

That’s the end of part 1! I’m feeling very positive thinking of all this. You stay for the characters in soc they are so wonderfully different and clever, a story of these kids who are expected of nothing but achieve everything. I expect the series will have a rather different tone compared to Sab and will truly show the significance of these six characters finding each other.

[bookworm-center]

Dirtyhands and the Bloodbender: Chapter III- Our Shared Past

Previous part below:

Dirtyhands and the Bloodbender

Y/n L/n: Our Shared Past

Kaz is being annoying once again, forbidding me from joining him and Jesper to deliver the documents to Rollins. I wandered around the Barrel for a little while, growing bored rather quickly. I went back to the Club faster than I wanted but there was nothing to do while out.

The sound of my glass clinking down on the bar echoes in the near quiet of the Club. The pigeons have dwindled to five patrons. Being alone makes me think of Jesper and Kaz. I hoped they were alright. For some reason, I remembered the night we'd met, the night Kaz recruited me to the Dregs nearly three years ago.

~*~*~*~*~

It had been a particularly rough day. I had been paid to assassinate a mercher, which ended unsuccessfully. My client was furious and had shot at me in the shoulder. I just needed to feel the burn of alcohol down my throat so I made my way to the nearest Club.

Kaz had found me then, chugging shots of whiskey and chatting with the bartender. I recognized him almost immediately. After all, what crook or thief in Ketterdam hadn't heard of Dirtyhands? Everyone knew of Kaz Brekker, the infamous Bastard of the Barrel. Jesper was with him, pearly guns at the holsters, tall lanky frame hoovering behind Kaz.

"Y/n L/n." I looked up when Kaz said my name. It wasn't something I'd given out to people. "Also known as the Bloodbender."

"What business?"

"I want to recruit you to the Dregs." Kaz said.

I couldn't help but laugh. "The Dregs? I don't belong to any gang. Convince me why I should join you."

"Why shouldn't you?" Jesper asked.

"Look, if I joined you, I'd be the talk of the town."

"Disgraced and disowned?" Jesper added. I nodded. He didn't need to know I'd already been disowned by my family and disgraced by the Second Army.

"Is this really how you want to spend your days?" Kaz made a pointed look down to the glass of whiskey I was nursing in my hands. "Whiskey and misery? Always cheated out of your money?"

"Well what can you offer me in return for my service?"

"Kruge. Freedom to go where you please. Revenge. I'd promise you safety but that would be a kind lie." Kaz said, tapping his finger on the crow head of his cane.

I took a minute to decide, although I'd made up my mind when Kaz had first come up to me. Kaz Brekker had only ever wanted the best of the best, everyone knew that. So of course I'd join him. Especially if I meant I could get revenge on Pekka Rollins and perhaps the Second Army as well.

~*~*~*~*~

Three years later, I've still not quite got my revenge, but there are now many things that keep me with the Dregs and the Crows. The quiet moments I shared with Inej as we dashed across the rooftops. The times I had to pull Jesper away from the tables and we played card games alone in my room. Eating waffles and sharing secrets with Nina, telling tales about our time in Ravka. Exploding anything and everything when I was bored with Wylan. And most of all, Kaz.

Kaz was my closest friend, though neither of us would admit it. We spent so much time simply sitting in Kaz's office, me reading some random book and Kaz studying maps and plans for new jobs. We bickered and teased each other, but deep down I knew that I cared for him and would burn the world down if he was killed. He wasn't the same, of course, Dirtyhands never gets too attached to people, at the cost of hurting his heart- if he had one. Still, he kept me here with his Crows, my allegiance to him more than Per Haskell.

I knew that I belonged here in Ketterdam more than Ravka. Ravka was the country of Saints, Kerch the land of sinners. Ketterdam was home to the worst of the worst, the broken, bruised, and battered calling the city their own. Kaz was like me in the sense that we both belong here. We are both bastards in different senses, me by my lineage, Kaz by his actions. We are king and queen in a way, rulers of the world that is so devastatingly cruel, you have to become a monster to survive.

[livvyofthelake]

speak now taylor’s version as a grishaverse concept album: a post.

mine. at first i was like. this is a kanej song… and then i was like no it’s too sweet for kanej this is a wesper song. and i stand by that. you made a rebel if a careless man’s careful. son. i guess. whatever

sparks fly. now THIS is kanej!! and you stood there in front of me just close enough to touch!! close enough to hope you couldn’t see what i was thinking of!!!

back to december. genya about alina for real…. genya goes back to december all the time…. wishing she realized what she had when alina was hers….. whatEVER though.

speak now. mal!!!!! can be him about alina marrying blondie for political reasons or about alina being close to the darkling that time he came to the little palace to report on the stag. he is a jealous bitch!! we love it

dear john. do i even need to say it. literally alina about the darkling. he’s an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry never impressed by her aceing his tests. he’ll add her name to a long list of traitors who don’t understand and she’ll look back and regret she ignored when they said run as fast as you can. don’t you think she was too young to be messed with. she stole his matches before fire could catch her so don’t look now she’s shining like fireworks over his sad empty town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he needs to kill himself

mean. he would hate me saying this but. kaz about pekka rollins…. someday i’ll be living in a big old city and all you’re ever gonna be is mean!!!

the story of us. veryyyy kanej. tbh. um you held your pride like you should have held me. why are we pretending this is nothing. she’s standing alone in a crowded room and they’re not speaking. the story of us looks a lot like a tragedy now….. I WOULD LAT MY ARMOR DOWN IF YOU SAY YOU’D RATHER LOVE THAN FIGHT. so many things that you wish i knew but the story of us might be ending soon!!!!!! i don’t even care that much whatever.

never grow up. ok well like fuck this song first of all. cried. idk why i thought i wouldn’t like girl you KNOW you’re in an emotionally vulnerable place rn jesus. this one defies blorboification because it’s so crazy but also it’s about alina in the sense that alina is also about me. ok sorry that when i saw alina finally get to the little palace and her new room completely alien to her with nothing familiar but the scars on her body and she’s finally alone for the first time since everything changed overnight and she just immediately breaks down sobbing crying keeling over i immediately was like ummmm she’s gonna be huge for me rn and then i cried so hard i almost threw up and now i’m here. ok. well whatever. you know how sometimes you go to a family reunion and you see your cousin who got married when you were in third grade and you wore a pink tie die sundress and matching pink flip flops and the reception was in a cool barn with little lights all around and there was a weird decorative edible flower on your plate at dinner that you didn’t eat because you were 8 and you thought that was weird and your cousin (the one who just got married) wanted to dance with you and you were 8 so you didn’t want to and you still kinda feel bad about the fact that you were in a bad mood at a wedding when you were 8 but you can’t really do anything about it now and anyway that’s hardly the point if anything because he’s got two daughters now and the youngest is only 5 and she has the same little haircut you had when you were a kid and the same blue eyes and the same shy demeanor and she’s wearing the cutest pink outfit and you just want to cry when you look at her and then your cousin asks you if you would paint her nails because she hasn’t been playing with the other kids there that much and she feels left out and she liked your nails and so you do it and her hands are so little because she’s only five and she’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen in your life and she reminds you of yourself way too much and you just want to cry because you were also the kid at the family reunion that didn’t really get included in playing with the other kids but now you can look at her and do something nice for her and smile at her and be someone for her that no one was for you and like i’m so fucking normal guys i’m not even crying at all lol. lmao even. fuck you taylor

enchanted. ok well. genyalina. what if i said i thought genya helped stop alina from communicating with mal in part because she was jealous that alina loved him.

better than revenge. alina core. she hates women sometimes but don’t worry it’s just because she’s gay and doesn’t know. anyway her about zoya but like literally nothing happened she’s just insane <3

innocent. i’m going to be honest i have never heard this song in full and i’m not about to start now. who cares

haunted. kanej!!!! they walk a fragile line….

last kiss. well i’m not qualified to speak on this but i imagine when mal and alina had to separate in the show this is them. again. i don’t know what i’m saying. anyway it’s also nina and matthias i guess but who cares about them

long live. it was not within me to listen to this tonight but like i know the song and it’s about alina……….. also the crows….. (actually this song has always been about my friends the pevensies but we are making this a grishaverse concept album tonight and we aren’t talking about them rn. but just letting you know there is a deeper priority here. peace and love)

ours. malina!!!!!! don’t you worry your pretty little mind people throw rocks at things that shine and life makes love look hard the stakes are high the waters rough but this love is ours!!!! ���🫶🫶🫶

superman. mal…. go save the world i’ll be around…. etc.

electric touch. MAL AND ALINA. HER ELECTRIC TOUCH COULD FILL THIS GHOST TOWN UP WITH LIFE. also it’s kinda lucie and jesse core but we’re not talking about that rn. also i guess it could be a jesper and wylan song but like. alina literally has an electric touch. in a way.

when emma falls in love. nina is soooo emma…. inej is the narrator also

i can see you. this is so kanej i could throw up. i didn’t even finish the song it was too much but just trust me it’s kanej

castles crumbling. ALINAAAAAAAAA

foolish one. oh this one’s EASY. book wylan about jesper and also show inej about kaz. duh. except the bridge which is about blondie wanting to fuck mal so bad it makes him look stupid.

timeless. first of all this is so loved you before by peach prc core. secondly malina core. thirdly beronica core frankly. whatever.

also if if this was a movie was on the correct album i would be saying it was about malina i guess but taylor decided to be ultra lame.

[theseareafewofmyfavoritethingzz]

The second season of Shadow and Bone isn't all I hoped for but it never was gonna be, there was simply no way of giving both the crows storylines and the sab storylines the time they deserved without cutting stuff out and moving it around. With Netflix cancelling shows that have good engagement so much, I think the show runners probably had a very valid fear that they might not get another season and so they were trying to wrap up storylines they felt would be important to people while also leaving room for a possibility of a crows spin-off. The aspects of the show I care most about, writing and characterization, were done very well just like the first season and I think for people going in without the lens of the books, it's still a very well put-together story! I still want a crows spin-off, I want the ice palace break in and Wylan's parentage reveal and kanej and Matthias being a crow and since Pekka is still running things in prison he needs to be dealt with too, there's still so much that can happen here! And I want to see these actors who have proved that they can embody these characters do it!

[jeanmoreaux]

I liked season 2 of Shadow and Bone, it was entertaining and I made sure to remind myself to separate it from the books. That being said, I felt that some scenes lost their weight due to them being rushed (Kaz vs Pekka, Kaz fighting the Dregs), and I felt that the flashback scene of Kaz on the Reapers Barge was not impactful enough. They couldn’t have had the actor push a couple of dead limbs off himself or turn his head and come face to face with a corpse instead of just touching one body? That would be more impactful AND would save the horror and logistics of the “using Jordie as a life raft” scene.

I don’t generally like how the show has handled Inej’s story. Even in the first season they barely showed her fear of the Menagerie and Heleen, just her rage and anger. From the TV show/story telling perspective, I understand why they killed Heleen, it makes Kaz and Inej’s goals aligned. HOWEVER I wish Inej had gotten revenge on Heleen or we could have seen her get the tattoo cut off rather than tailored away and leaving a faint scar/feather outline to show just how much she wanted to be rid of it. I’ve seen tweets about the Inej episode they have written for the spin-off, written by an Indian woman, which does have me holding out hope they’ll give the story and Amita the space they deserve.

I also hated how they softened Zoya. I know that it’s possible to write a character who is mean and also likeable and they failed to do that. They also barely had her in the season.

My other complaint is that the season was very busy but when you have like 10+ main characters it can get to be a lot. Which sucks because I loved all the performances and the acting was great but I just could not CARE about Alina/Mal/the Darkling. Episode 7 which was mostly about them felt so long because I just didn’t care as much. The crows are more interesting, even my sister who’s never read the books agrees that the crows stories are more interesting. To quote her “enough with the war and Ben Barnes! Go back to the thieves!”

I very much want a Six of Crows spin-off, I don’t care much for a Season 3 (unless that’s all we’ll get) and I don’t mind they took some scenes from the books and made them fit with the context of the show. I think that it will make for a nice parallel between the Kanej graveyard/wound cleaning scene versus a possible similar Crooked Kingdom bathroom scene in a spin-off. I like the changes made because it made sure I wasn’t alway two steps ahead of what was happening and was able to be pleasantly surprised.

gosh, i am so on board with the things you're saying! your citicism is SO valid, and all these things bug me too!!! thank you so much for sharing btw—loved to read your thoughts. i am glad you were entertained by the season as a whole. i was, too; up-until ep4 when it just kind of fell apart for me (mostly as a season of television but also as an adaptation). but even after ep4, i tried to separate the books from the tv show in my mind, and that worked rather well until the last two episodes tbh. it's just.....the last-minute changes they made are so in conflict with what tgt is about and felt very out of left field, so that it was almost to jarring of a change. ((does that make sense??? i feel like if they'd committed to the changes earlier in the season i would have had an easier time not comparing it to tgt...)). and ngl the final made me more critical and re-evalute the earlier episodes in season (mainly because, for me, they miserably failed to build up to the 'twists' in a satisfying way). you're so right about the acting and the crows as well. ((lmao your sister is so real for that comment 😂 give her my love.)) and same, i am much more interested in a soc spin-off than a third season. the direction they seem to be going with the tgt storyline simply doesn't interest me all that much. still, for the casts sake, i hope they're renewed. i haven't read any info on the planned spin-off but they kind of teased the soc storyline at the end so does that mean the spin-off won't cover the ice court plot? and i am so happy to hear they'll (hopefully) dedicate more time to inej and her story in the spin-off. it's what my girl deserves!!! ((wish they would have focused more on her as an individual in sab too, tho...)). whether they only get a third season or a spin-off, i am interested to see what they do from here on out with the crows. frankly, i don't trust that it will be good ((mainly bc i trusted them with sab and look how that turned out lol)) but i am more than ready to be pleasantly surprised!

[kattangeln]

Shadow and Bone commentary s2

Cause I did it for s1 (this is in the order of watching)

So every change in the crows and ketterdam story makes me scratch my teeth. I hate it cause like we all know six of crows has one of the best writing ever

Kinda hate that they are all um speaking English? Like sure they have languages, but just speak English. And I get why. But also, like takes away a lot of the world building. Nina is a language prodigy and I want it to be known <3

The ravkans can only speak ravkan pretty much. Jesper can speak Zemeni and Kerch. And yeah, it’s sad. I miss languages

Like Pekka Rollins is getting way too big?

Nina following Inej, and like managing to follow her. That’s cute <3

Waffles and people skills, love you girl

We are already getting to know about Kaz’s backstory???

Also Nikolai is great. He looks just as charming and slug as I imagined. Hm his introduction though, that was um interesting.

Okay when Wylan is playing the piano and Jesper just wow. I need need the scene with Kuwei playing the piano and Jesper thinking it was Wylan. And them kissing. And that whole scene and misunderstanding and everything. Please guys. Like this could be an amazing foreshadow. Like dude jespers face. I need it

Actually love love that Nikolai’s proposal came that quickly. Yes, dude. You are so ahead of time <3 and Mal talking sense into Alina, yes

I mean I still don’t hate Mal (like the books). But I’m not sure if I would care if he died? Like I remember liking him in s1 for your knowledge.

Genya is crazy. Thinking she can flee Kirigan like that? Wow

David hearing Genya being scarred like that? Oof. Knowing how awfully um that was? Knowing he can do nothing? I mean I love that he is smart enough to like don’t try to stop it cause he wouldn’t have had a chance. But wow, the powerlessness. David <3 you will be rewarded I promise

All the bonding Jesper and Wylan are doing. To die for <3

Why do the Netflix um subtitles call them dogs? Aren’t they supposed to be wolves? Like yes they are obviously dogs and not wolves cause like many reasons. But come on. But also, the foreshadowing <3

Nina, nina, nina? What are you doing? Pekka is there? What the fuck (about nina calling matthias name after the fight)

I hate not being able to tell what the fuck is happening. Although the stakes are so high and I love it

Love the girl who’s so loyal to the darkling. Like she’s pretty. Go girl, go do what you think is best. You’re most likely a sadist.

Every episode opener is soo pretty

Genya getting her nickname <3

Baghra and Genya bonding??

You know at least, Alina is less selfish. And Mal is still selfish. Character growth guys

Love how much this explores Baghra and Aleksander’s relation. And his upbringing and so. Awww like this is well done. I can see the hurt child still in him. And I mean Baghra has some um stuff on her conscious

“I kinda like your face” goosebumps wow hate it (the place in the story) and love it

yes, Alina is training

Love the new mythology, more saints, mythology yay

Okay, hm I do believe Nina and Kaz are in on it. But eh Inej caring about a crying baby? I do not think was part of their plan. Why is Pekka always kicking their asses? Guys, I’m scared

Okay, I love love this scene with Pekka and Kaz. Oh, it's amazing.

Is the brother of Nikolai actually supposed to be smart now? I liked him better dumb. Cause some people are selfish and dumb and only care about themselves and yeah. Pls don’t be smart (yes I’m very happy he died)

Wylan and Jesper. I don’t know how to feel about their backstory.

Oof, my bisexual afraid of commitment self is feeling this very much. Jesper, love. I’m so proud of you. Like I could never do that

THEY KISS IN S2E4 NOT OKAY NOT OKAY WOW AMAZING AHHH GUYS WHAT

one fear I have, is I still want the ice court and everything with that to happen. Nina sacrificing herself, taking that drug, being her most powerful self. God, just that whole heist, guys. I need to see it executed.

Wylan? “Maybe you need a fuller reminder” what is happening guys? Wylan is not supposed to be that gutsy. Even if you get a weird ass confession like that, it still takes guts you know. Oh my goodness, my feels are all over the place.

Kaz turning his worry for Inej into blaming Inej. I love that for him. Very him.

Alina’s smile when she saw Nikolai. Yes.

“Love it when you quote me” is already here. Omg my Nikolina heart is already dying.

Okay he got killed quickly, I love that.

Some part of me love that Pekka Rollins is being dealt with so early. But he is such a good villain though. And I also wish to spend more time with Nikolai and Alina pls <3

Okay, love jesper and Wylan. But no. Too soon. But omg my heart

Alina and Genya omg <3

Genya, go hard! On the queen and on nikolai. Now some years later. You speak for survivors and I feel you. You speak for me too. And I love you for it.

Love it when Mal and Alina fight <3

If nikolai already gets turned into that in s2 I hate it

Nikolai and Alina <3

Baghra and Aleksander, that was so sad. Also I’m glad we are seeing more of Aleksander and his journey. (her dying)

Jesper’s and Wylan’s relationship is just not doing it for me in the show, like it’s the pinning and dumbass and all that. Like it’s too romantic??? And too soon?? I feel like they barely know each other. The heist in six of crows is like weeks yk

I love that Mal is the firebird. Love. Love. Love. Please do it. Kill him and use him <3

This season really makes me realize how much I want more for Alina. Way more than the goddamn book ending. Show Alina, please be better.

And now Aleksander knows that tooo. Amazing. Amazing. There’s no way Mal won’t die right?

Oh, Nadia and Tamar already. Yes.

I don’t have a good feeling about this. (about going out to war with the ambush and all that)

Okay, actually. Alina bringing him back with merzost is actually better than him just dying. Cause pain <3

Can’t believe Nikolai still got cursed 😭

“Make sure there’s nothing left of me”

Also I adore that we got a last emotional and beautiful scene with the Darkling, and Alina.

That was one of hell of a demonstration of jurda parem. But wow god, Alina hasn’t used her powers since she brought back Mal. The price she had to pay is.. from light to shadow?

[caspianxth]

SHADOW AND BONE SPOILERS!

okay first, Kaz would have not fucking given up his cane, and for a king?!?!? love it but he would not do that, it was adorable tho. Second, he just wanted to be loved:( i think i read it in the book cause they never said it in the show but all he wanted was the love of his people, and for them to be safe, and look what it cost him:( Third, why would they change all that, like yes i get this is basically a prequel for six of crows BUT i enjoyed jesper and wylan being slow burn and now theyre a thing?? like what happpens now instead of all the teasing and pining in both upcoming heists, and also with kanej, cause like yeah the love confession was word for word which was nice BUT theyre still TWO heists to come, what about the pining!?!?!! and speaking of inej, she's now free and also a slaver-hunting pirate, which is all she wanted but what about the heists!!!!! like i guess she'll come back out of the love in her heart but why have her achieve her dream just to give it all up?? And don't even get me started on Mal and Alina, like i get their story hasnt really ended, especially with the nikolai thing (poor baby), but wtf.

Despite all of that, I really enjoyed it, it was really well made, I just wish I didn't compare everything with the books, anyway, sending love, thanks for letting me rant none of my friends like s&b.

I do v much agree that it's v diff from the books, but I don't hate that! lemme dive in under the cut tho <3

I wish they had more time bc they were trying to do So Much though and I feel like nikolai's arc as a monster was just weirdly done. alas, lemme dive in!!

I actually disagree on the cane, and here's why. kaz had no reason to tell inej about jordie. he even says in his chapter he had no idea why he did it. was it because he loved her? or was it that he truly felt like she deserved to know? why would she deserve to know??? he also expands on this with jesper, someone who unwittingly betrayed him! he sees jesper as jordie and then when jesper asks who jordie is after kaz slipped and called him jordie, he doesn't tell jesper off, he doesn't shut down. he tells jesper that jordie was someone who meant a lot to him in a way that makes it pretty clear for me that he truly cares for jesper too. he didn't have to do that, but he did it for inej and for jesper, the crows who have been by his side longest. also in soc he allows the crows to drag him to a different cafe in djerholm after they stake out the prison transports. kaz's way is the highway at this point in soc, the crows haven't learned that they can team up on him the way nina and inej do for the ketterdam grisha in crooked kingdom, they didn't have to relocate, but they did. if kaz wanted to shut down their complaining he would have. instead he gave into their apparent need for sweet buns and hot cocoa. also, when we get flashbacks from the ferolind via wylan in crooked kingdom, kaz was the one who was warning wylan about tailoring his face using nina's powers on parem and it was kaz that believed that wylan's father still loved him. he even bet on it and lost (which is hilarious btw, I mean not for wylan but u get me). also, in crooked kingdom after kaz robs cornelius smeet and then crashes into him to return the dog whistle and returns his wallet, smeet gives kaz 5 kruge. he then turns and gives that to wylan. sure, they have pekka's money, but why would kaz brekker give wylan something for nothing? he also steals back jesper's pistols from club cumulus's safe. he claimed that a shooter's nothing without his guns, but jesper helped get his dad and wylan back to black veil just fine without his beloved revolvers. kaz also swore to inej that even if her legs were broken, he'd come back for her. yeah, he's in love with her, but would he do that if there wasn't still a kernel of kaz rietveld inside him?? would he give wylan 5 kruge or warn him that he might always have kuwei's face?? would he have worked so hard from the initial heist at smeet's to get wylan back his money by replacing jan's will??? no. dirtyhands wouldn't. kaz rietveld would. there's still pieces of him there, and that's exactly why he'd give his cane to nikolai. firstly, he still needs to be paid, a slow king is an easily killed king, and as kaz himself said he is more experienced with pain. it's the most logical move to make. kaz is also someone who still has kindness in him despite what he says, even in the show when he promises that he'll help nina w freeing matthias. there's a heart buried in him, and I for one love to get peeks at it. also I think they made his need to be loved by his crows in the show decently clear, like when he asks wylan when he last ate or when he gives up the deed for the crow club for inej (let's face it, dirtyhands could have found a way to get leverage on helene to make that work without risking everything for inej but he did it bc he cares about her) and with how he was keeping jesper's zowa powers a secret. even though jesper's zowa powers could have been pretty useful before, kaz said nothing. he also wanted all of the crows in the building when he took pekka down. inej was the only crow not in attendance (and matthias but he's in jail, so he kinda has bigger shit but kaz still paid the guards to keep him out of the fights).

w the wesper: gimme gimme gimme!!! I'd rather get it fast than not at all esp w how weird netflix has been the past year with what gets renewals and spinoffs and what gets cancelled. and I think they did it in a way that was very true to the characters!! it's so cute!!!! the stroopes!! you remember that nOW??!!??!?!?!? and can we talk about tolya being the #1 wesper shipper!!! also there's a gifset idk if I can find it tonight but it's kaz saying 'everyone's losing their minds' after wylan and jesper kiss outside ohval's and the caption on the gifset is 'my brother in ghezen you set them up' and I think about that a lot.

with inej I think that it's great that she's slave hunting early bc I think that it gives a really great opportunity for a bit of kanej closure that the books never had. at the end of crooked kingdom, inej prepares to leave and just says she isn't done w ketterdam (and by extension kaz) yet but that's p much it, even in king of scars / rule of wolves we don't get concrete kanej. I think with inej's story, it gives her that option to find her family and get that closure, and hell that could've been the payment kaz asked for when they returned to ravka, we don't know, but once she finds the slavers it'll bring her closure and I think that'll help give us a possibility of a definitive kanej endgame for the show.

also w the not malina end, I'm sorry but I'm all for it. I think it makes sense esp bc she used merzost to rip him away from death. we saw him in the field, he was content, he was at peace, and she legit Yanked him back. I think a part of him knows that. also, he did die. that no doubt changed him, so he's v right to explore who he is if not a mythical tracker and I loved nikolai dread-pirate-roberts-ing him by making him the new sturmhond even tho he isn't in charge. also I really really wish they'd done nikolai's monster story better. I wanted to see him w the wings and the talons and all they did was make him look like a nichevo'ya. boo!! but I think they were just trying to set up too much and cut a ton (harshaw and oncat 😭) and redo stuff to make it work, it felt like at times alina got sidelined for everything else they had to do.

also of course!!! ur welcome in my inbox bestie!!!

[fantastic-nonsense]

I think a lot about The Bathroom Scene™ and how Kaz's selfless actions towards Inej are contrasted with their discussion about whether he's any different from Pekka, but Chapter 26 as a whole also does a lot to show how much Kaz cares about all of his Crows and not just Inej. He spends a lot of time in that chapter thinking about how he's probably about to die, and yet he does everything in his power to make sure his Crows get out alive.

He specifically zeroes on Inej's safety, of course (because when isn't Kaz focused on her?) but his actions, dialogue, and internal monologue are all entirely centered around how guilty he feels for getting everyone into this mess and how desperate he is to make sure he's the only collateral damage of his own scheme at the end of the day:

Kaz sits down and (more or less) fully explains his entire plan to the Crows instead of keeping them in the dark

Kaz gives Jesper's dad the only protection he's still able to give: his own family's name and reputation

Kaz ruminates on why he called Jesper by his brother's name and implicitly acknowledges that it's because he's scared to recognize Jordie in Jesper (that he's afraid to lose another brother)

Kaz thinks "But they’d landed in a trap, and if he had to chew his paw off to get them out of it, then that was what he would do."

Kaz pays off Inej's contract by liquidating "every asset he had" and explicitly tells her "I don't want you to be beholden to Per Haskell. Or me."

Kaz tells Inej about his emergency money stash and charges her with getting everyone out of the city safely if he doesn't come back from the Slat

Kaz tells her "Whatever happens to me, survive this city. Get your ship, have your vengeance, carve your name into their bones. But survive this mess I’ve gotten us into."

Kaz leaves on a suicide mission, telling Inej not to follow, because if he's going to die he wants to be the only one in active danger

And of course Kaz had already offered to serve himself up on a silver platter to the stadwatch and give them a way out even before he came up with the auction plan (though we don't get Kaz's point of view of The Clocktower Fight, I suspect it's also why he picked that fight with Jesper: he knew Jesper would never leave him to die unless he made him mad enough to "walk away" for once in his life).

What separates Kaz from other Barrel Bosses like Pekka isn't just that he would never sell a person or con/otherwise harm children. It's that at his lowest, when all the bravado and scheming and masks are stripped away, Kaz chooses to put himself on the line and sacrifice his own safety over putting his people in any more danger than they have to be. Because despite his ruthlessness and casual assholery, Kaz simply doesn't have it in him to watch those he cares about get hurt if he can prevent it. He ended Chapter 26 saying he intended to leave damage behind when he's gone, but also spent the entirety of the Geldrenner chapters spending time and effort and money he didn't have to minimize the damage as much as possible for his friends (his new family) if the worst should happen to him.

So he gives them a safe place to land where the gangs won't find them. He tries to push them away and make them mad enough that they won't grieve him when he dies. He gives them multiple ways out even if none of those options guarantee his own safety. He gives them money and as much safety as he can provide with the whole city out for their blood. He gives Inej her freedom. And he gives them time to rest, recharge, and prepare for whichever plan they end up doing while he goes off to stage a coup he's not sure he'll come back from.

This is all to say: Kaz could never be Pekka, no matter how tough of a game he talks about burning everything to the ground, because Kaz cares too much to ever become Pekka. Even as he continues to pretend not to care about anything but the money, his love for his city and his Crows are baked into every one of his thoughts and actions in those chapters. Unlike Pekka, who flees first Ketterdam and then Kerch entirely when his son is in (percieved) danger, Kaz stays to fight for the city he bent to his will. And unlike Per Haskell, who lets other people do his dirty work and sells out at the first opportunity for glory, Kaz puts himself on the front lines first even when doing so comes at a great cost to himself.

Pekka chases money and power for their own sake. Per Haskell chases money and power for the decadence, glory, and laziness it allows him to get away with. Kaz chases money and power because he knows what it's like to be powerless and wants to, in his own weird way, protect others from suffering his trauma and himself from losing anyone else he cares about. And that's why even at his most unhinged Kaz could never become Pekka Rollins: his quest for power and fame and riches comes from a fundamentally different place. Kaz Brekker doesn't need a reason, but he has at least six at all times during the course of the duology (the Crows+Jordie)...and while those reasons are often filtered through his two primary reasons (revenge for Jordie and Inej's freedom, safety, and happiness), none of them are ever far from his mind.

[system-to-the-madness]

Belonging - Kaz Brekker x Reader

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x (fem!)Reader Genre: fluff Summary: You are unhappily spending boring the afternoon, wishing your friends, the Crows would be the ones to keep you company. Luckily they seem to be able to read thoughts. Warning: mention of blood, violence and murder (canon-typical), mention of irresponsible consume of alcohol Word Count: 3 069 A/N: A little treat while we’re waiting for chapter 7 of “By your Side” coming on Friday. Sorry for only posting now. I wanted to be home by 8pm, but then we had a tiny Christmas party at the ballet school, and I lost my keys so I had to walk 4km home. But luckily I found my keys after about ¾ of the way. Someone placed them so I could find them more easily. Thank you, kind soul. Also I thought about this idea yesterday, while people from uni dragged me to an awful brunch in an expensive bakery, and the guy next to me (who found an inglorious place in this story) annoyed me so much, I started writing this story in my head. Sorry, not sorry.

The café you were sitting in was crowded and noisy. Busily people were pushing in and out of the shop, desperate to fetch a snack in their short lunch break. The people at your table were relaxed though. Not that it made you feel much better.

A few days ago a new guy had joined the group of people who called themselves your friends (even though they were rather acquaintances really. You were not close enough to them for you to consider them your friends). You all went to university together, and with the addition of this new guy the whole dynamic of the group had shifted into territory you did not really feel comfortable with.

The girls in the group were talking about fashion, and about what dresses to get, or what study accessories to buy. You would have enjoyed these conversations perhaps, if you had the money to buy things too. But you didn't. All your money went into paying the university tuition fees. How you got the money was an entirely different matter as well, one you thought you preferred not to discuss with these people.

While they got money from their parents, you made your money by… well… stealing. As a member of the most inner circle of the Dregs, you were often involved in all kinds of heists, stealing art and jewels, which then got sold on the black market. And with your part of the earnings, you made a living while paying off your tuition fees as well.

Kaz Brekker, the leader of the Dregs, had often offered to help you out, since the Dregs would profit from the knowledge you gained at university. But you had denied his offer every time. You knew he offered this to you because behind his furrowed brows, and indifferent expressions he actually cared about you, but you preferred your independence. It made you proud being able to take care of yourself. And since nobody at university ever asked where your money came from, you had never gotten close to revealing that you were actually a feared gang member in the most ruthless part of Ketterdam.

The only time you had almost gotten into trouble had been a few weeks ago, when one of the girls, the one on your left, who was being flirted with by one of the guys, had told you, that an expensive painting her father had bought a year ago, had turned out to be a fake. Almost you would have laughed out loud. The painting her father had bought had not been a fake. But just two days after he had acquired it, Kaz and the Crows, including you, had broken into the mansion to steal it. It had been your own hands, assisted by none other than Kaz Brekker himself, which had exchanged the real, valuable painting with a cheap, but convincing fake. In hindsight you considered it payback for the time you had been sick (because you had spent a whole night on a roof top in the rain to listen in on Pekka Rollins), and they had not borrowed you their notes, even though you always made sure to share your notes with them whenever they did not attend classes (which was mostly after long nights out in which they got blackout drunk).

Now your focus drifted away from the girls talking about fashion, to the guys. They were still, or again? talking about an illegal fight club they had visited the other day, and were planning on visiting again. It had been rather tricky, coming up with an excuse as to why you could never join them for these events, since the whole group loved attending these gruesome presentations. But the fight club your colleagues frequented was one of Pekka Rollins’.

You had told them were not able to stand the sight of blood, which had been a lie. You had a lot of blood on your hands, not that any of them knew about that, and did not mind spilling it. But you knew if you as much as stepped foot into that fight club, you would get your throat slit, and you preferred your blood to stay inside your body.

At the end of the day attending university while being a member of a feared gang and close friend of Kaz Brekker was rather tiring. You spend the days studying, sitting in lectures or libraries, or pretended to be just another rich kid, attending university without realising the worth of the knowledge you gained. And the nights were spent on roof tops, planning heists, or breaking into mansions to steal fantastic valuables.

But you would not change your life for anything in the world.

Especially since in the last months Kaz and you had started growing very close. You spent long nights just talking to each other. Kaz often jokingly offered to kill the people at university who annoyed you, and you had a feeling he actually might be planning to go after that professor who always opened the windows wide, even in the middle of winter when you were already freezing cold. You loved the way Kaz’s eyes met yours through the crowded Crow Club, and how he had started handing you his coat whenever he noticed you were shivering from the cold, which was almost always, now that it was the deepest of winter. Indeed it was the winter solstice today, the shortest day of the year, and with a glance out of the window of the café you realised that even though it was barely past noon, outside the sky started growing dark again already.

You got torn out of your thoughts by the hysterical laughter of the new guy in the group, who had annoyed you from the start. Now he flipped his long, blond, greasy hair over his shoulder, hitting you right in the face. You wanted to gag. Maybe you would mention him to Kaz, and ask him to pay this guy a visit. Not actually hurt him, just teach him some much needed manners.

You took a deep breath, and leant a little closer to the girls, who were still gushing about a dress they had seen in the window of a shop yesterday. It was almost laughable how they debated whether they should go into the shop or not, whether they would fit in at all.

It was laughable because if you would have wanted that dress, you would have just walked in, undressed the mannequin, and walked out, and nobody would have noticed. It was a skill you shared with Inej, being invisible when you wanted to be. It was not like you actually disappeared from sight, you just blended into your surroundings, and even when people were looking for you, they would look right past you. But unlike Inej, you often seemed to disappear from people’s memories, too, so they did not remember you until they actually saw your face again.

That was the reason you had started working with Kaz: He needed your skill, and you needed money. Now the Dregs, but the Crows most of all, had grown to be your closest friends, almost like a family. They were where you belonged. Sometimes this skill to be invisible was useful, but especially with the people from university it was rather saddening, because they often did not notice when they left you behind.

With the Crows it was different. The Crows always saw you.

Kaz had noticed you pickpocketing in the Crow Club when nobody else had even taken notice of you at all.

Jesper always perked up when you entered the room, and greeted you. Nina always thought of you when she was cooking, and saved a plate for you.

Wylan loved drawing you, and occasionally slipped you a little sketch of yourself, which he had drawn while you had been studying. He knew that sometimes you felt down because the people from university seemed to forget about you as soon as you were out of sight, and it was his way to cheer you up, to remind you the Crows would not forget you. (Kaz had once caught Wylan drawing you, and, in a surge of jealousy, had taken the drawing away from Wylan. Later he had returned it to him, requesting Wylan to finish it, and shyly asked if Kaz could keep it afterwards. Wylan, admittedly confused, had left the finished drawing on Kaz’s desk, and now it was tucked away, safe in a picture frame, in a drawer of Kaz’s night table, where nobody but him could see it. Neither of the two men had ever told you about the incident.)

Matthias sometimes made tea for you when you were engrossed in your studies, and convinced nobody had noticed you sitting in the corner of the room, and Inej often dropped by your window at night to share the latest gossip.

You loved them all, not just for the attention they were paying you, or how they made you feel, but because they generally cared. They cared a lot more than these people you were sitting at a table with now. Yes, even Kaz with his stone cold exterior cared about all of his Crows, you included.

Oh, how you missed the Crows! You simply did not belong with these people who talked about nothing but fashion and illegal fight clubs and ways to best spend as much money as possible. You belonged with that bunch of misfits, criminals, who bickered and snickered and glared at outsiders instead of putting on a fake-friendly façade. How different your afternoon would be, if it were the Crows, who you were sitting in this café with!

Just in that moment you heard a laugh, and you could have sworn it belonged to Inej. But you did not turn around to seek for the source of the sound. Never would the Wraith turn up in a crowded café in the middle of the day. Well, it was dark outside even though it was barely past three in the afternoon, but there were still too many people around. None of the Crows, except maybe Nina or Jesper on the search for a distraction, would enter such a café. You felt like an imposter between these rich kids you were sitting with. You did not belong with them, you just pretended, faked, the same way you had faked the painting that had hung over this girl’s father’s desk for a year before he realised it was not the original.

All in all, you were cold and miserable right now, even though you were sitting in a decently warm and cosy café. You were always cold these days, unless you were wrapped in Kaz’s coat, or sitting in his office. Maybe it was just his presence generally that somehow warmed you up.

You were about to wonder what kind of excuse you might offer to the group, so you could leave, when suddenly the hair in your neck rose, and a shiver ran down your spine. You did not have to turn around to know who was standing behind you, you did not have to glance down to your shoulder, when a hard object softly landed on it, to know what had just touched you.

“Kaz,” you spoke quietly, before turning around nonetheless.

Behind you stood nobody but the Bastard of the Barrel himself, dressed completely in expensive, black clothes, the beak of his crow-headed cane resting on your shoulder. Others, who knew who he was, would have started sweating in fear, would have quivered under his razor blade sharp gaze, but you just smiled, relishing the feeling of your heart joyously skipping a beat.

Kaz’s eyes left yours for a moment, scanning your company. None of them had noticed his presence. Distaste and condescension flashed over his face before he met your gaze again, and his expression softened immediately.

“Why don’t you come sit with us?”

You looked past him, finding the other five Crows sitting at a table just a few meters away. So it had been Inej’s laugh you had heard just moments ago!

“What are you all doing here,” you asked, surprised, but unable to hide the grin on your face.

Quickly you got up, and grabbed your jacket and bag to join the others.

“Can’t we spend a nice afternoon in a café every once in a while,” Kaz asked, as he followed close behind you, as if he tried to shield you from a possible attack.

“As if you suddenly had the urge to spend a nice afternoon in a café,” you mocked, “Hey, Jesper. What are you guys doing here?”

You knew Jesper would be the one to answer you immediately and truthfully, not because he was thoughtless about the consequences Kaz would threaten him with, but because he knew what you would do to him, if he lied. (You’d hide his guns, that was what you would do.)

“This guy here,” Jesper pointed at Kaz and scooted closer to Wylan to make space for you on the bench, “insisted you were here, and were probably looking for a way out.”

“I didn’t-“

“And then he suggested we all should come here, because it would be weird if he turned up all by himself,” Inej added, earning a surprised glance from you.

“As if seven criminals sitting in a café isn’t weird,” Matthias grumbled, but he did not look all too unhappy, sitting in the café with Nina squeezed to his side.

“This sounds like the beginning of a bad joke,” Nina laughed. “Seven criminals go to a café...”

“What’s the punch line,” you asked, cuddling a little deeper into the pullover you were wearing. You were still cold.

“That blonde guy’s jawline, if he won’t stop annoying you,” Kaz grumbled, throwing a glace over his shoulder at the new guy in the group who had been getting on your nerves since second one.

“How do you know he’s been annoying me?”

“I know you. You looked annoyed,” Kaz shrugged, holding out his coat to you.

Neither of the two of you noticed the meaningful glances the other Crows were giving each other as you wordlessly slipped into the far too big coat, and happily sighed at the warmth that engulfed you.

A waitress suddenly appeared at the table, serving a huge plate of waffles with cream and jam, and several mugs of hot chocolate.

“I took the liberty of ordering,” Matthias shrugged at your surprised expression when a cup got placed in front of you. Nina giggled and gently shoved his side. Of course he had only ordered waffles for everyone so Nina was happy.

You thanked Matthias, and grabbed waffled, taking a bite off the sweet treat, and sunk back against the back rest of the bench you were sitting on. Jesper was pressed against your side in the narrow space, and on your other side Kaz had settled on a chair at the short side of the table. He watched you take another bite of the waffle, and how you were sinking deeper into his coat. You looked so homey and adorable like that, he wished he could have Wylan draw this moment for him.

About half an hour after Kaz had picked you up to sit with the Crows, the people you had sat with before started getting ready to leave. Only then did they seem to notice you were gone. Confused they glanced around the café, and looked even straight at the Crow’s table, but did not seem to see you. You were just sitting there, looking back at them, but their eyes skipped you, not noticing you between the Zemini boy, who had whipped cream stuck to his upper lip, before it got wiped away by a curley haired boy’s thumb, and the dangerous looking boy in black.

The question of where you had wandered off to did not seem to occupy your colleagues’ minds for long, because not even twenty seconds later they had already left the shop, and you could not find it in you to really care about their indifference. Instead you pushed the sleeves of Kaz’s coat back, and reached for the cup with hot chocolate.

You knew Kaz was watching you drink, but ignored him until you had put down the cup again. When you met his gaze with raised eyebrows, he quickly averted his gaze, and reached over to you, slipping his gloved hand into one of the many pockets of his coat, retrieving a handkerchief.

“You got cream on your face,” he mumbled, not meeting your eyes as he was unfolding the fabric.

You held out your hand to take it, but much to your surprise Kaz reached out and dabbed the handkerchief over your lips. The fabric was soft, his touch so subtle it was barely there, and your heart beat in your throat at the gesture. With heated cheek you shyly glanced up at Kaz, his eyes fixed on your lips, and his jaw tightened. He dabbed the fabric, which faintly smelled of cotton, against your lip a last time, before slowly lowering his hand.

“There, ‘s better now,” he spoke softly, only then meeting your eyes.

A faint blush had spread over his cheek and nose, and your heart danced happily at the realisation that it was an interaction with you, which had caused him to blush.

Quickly he folded the handkerchief again, and slipped it into one of his pockets, before a waitress placed a new order of cups with hot chocolate on the table, distracting you momentarily as you grabbed two cups, one for yourself, one for Kaz. When you turned back, you found he had been watching your every movement. You smiled at him, amused how he shortly averted his gaze before immediately searching yours again.

This was how the afternoon continued. All seven of you eating many more waffles than was good for either of you, drinking hot chocolate until you felt slightly sick. But what was most important: you were with the people you knew you belonged with. Of course you also treasured the shy smiles you exchanged with Kaz, his unabashed gazes. And he found at least two more opportunities to dab your lips with his handkerchief, whether there was cream or chocolate on your lips, or not.

Picture Sources: Freddy Carter, Book Backs, Desk, open Books, Windows on the Left, Letters, Bookshop, Croissants

[rcksmith]

The Agreement part.2 — Kaz Brekker

Resume/Masterlist

Couple: Kaz Brekker/ Fem!Reader.

Warnings of series: Convenience/arranged marriage, swearing, mention of fight, mention of death, mention of desire, fluff, sensual, mention of post-traumatic stress.

Warnings of chapter: swearing.

Word count: 4k

A/N: I hope you guys like.💖

English is not my first language, so I so sorry if have a mistake.

Requests are closet. Love you ❤️

— — — —

“What?!” Your exclamation came out louder than intended, and perhaps sharper than expected.

The salty sea breeze came through the window once more. The smell of salt and ocean invaded the room and for a second it felt like being in a ship's cabin at sea.

Kaz looked at you as if you were some child. Or someone deaf. But if he was swimming in acidic thoughts, he didn't say them.

"Think carefully." His voice was firm and explicit, the ones men use to convince women of something. “You want freedom, don't you? Live your life without having to fulfill a man's whims or your father's expectations. You wants to be able to snow on a ship without having a date to go back and make your own destiny. You want just needing to care what new adventure knocks on your door and what promise of wonders life awaits. It is not?"

How did he figure it out so well in such a short time? Was he too shrewd or were you too transparent?

You nodded, unable to say anything. Perhaps out of perplexity at how Kaz read you so easily. Or maybe the way he looked like an overpoweringly beautiful fallen angel in the moonlight.

“And the only way to do that is to get married.”

You frowned. “As I recall, Brekker, I came here just so I wouldn't have to get married.”

“And it's a stupid plan.” God, you wanted to kill him. “You asked me to have the Dregs take you to the harbor without your father's spies noticing. But it turns out your father's spies already know you're here.”

Your breath was lost somewhere between lungs and nose.

“Since you arrived, the noise from the Crow Club downstairs has become less shrill. And this is not typical criminal behavior. Either they have adopted good manners or someone they know they should fear has joined the Club.” Kaz sat more relaxed in the armchair behind his desk, his dark blue eyes locked on you. “I would bet on the second option.”

“So I came here for nothing?” You were starting to get angry at his beating around the bush. Because you knew it was manipulation. Brekker was laying the groundwork and you understood that.

“I did not say that. Turns out you can never get rid of your father. Not when he's a man with the purchasing power able to buy an entire country. There will always be someone who will recognize you, someone who will find you. And for the right price, the whole world is capable of being bribed. You would run away only to be chased by other spies, other people wanting the reward your father will give to whoever brings you back home.”

Very early on, you realized that Kaz Brekker was capable of crushing dreams as easily as crushing an insect. His destructive power was colossal and you saw all of your desires floating under his palm. Waiting just for him to brutally clench his fist and crush them.

But that's not what he did.

“You'll only get what you want if you follow his orders.” The breeze came through the window once more, ruffling her charcoal hair. “But if you can't defeat your enemies, change the rules of the game.”

“And is that where marriage to you comes in?”

“See it.” His body leaned very gently across the table towards you, it was a millimeter and ridiculous gesture, but it felt like him standing a breath away from you. “What you need is to get married. But marrying someone who doesn't give a damn about what you're going to do, and don’t have expectations of you. Someone who is not interested in home life, family life or Any other things you can offer other than money.”

Any other things you can offer. The night breeze this time was accompanied by an impure, almost obscene scene of the fallen angel in front of you on a bed of black duvets and caustic weather. A moment when the ends of his black hair brushed your forehead and your nose, moving back and forth as followed the rhythm of his hips and…

The sea breeze was gone, taking the obscene image with it and bringing back your common sense. For a second you wondered where that came from! You hadn't been in his presence for more than two hours and the entire compilation of what it was like Kaz Brekker, so far, had frightened you and attracted you in an absurdly dangerous way.

"And are that you came, I suppose." You hoped your voice couldn't give away your impure thoughts from seconds ago. “Do you want us to form an alliance where you receive my dowry and in return I am free from my father's demands and can do as I please with my freedom?"

“Alliance is a very strong term for what we are doing here.” He was succinct, “I would tell you to look at this as a business transaction. A marriage document is still just a piece of paper. And nothing else. Don't get carried away by sentimentalism. Things only have feelings if you want them to.”

Kaz was right, you knew that. For all your belief in true love and the many books romance novels you devoured, you still understood that a marriage could very well be seen as a business translation. It are a sad, cold way to see something so beautiful, but it still true.

“I have no interest in anything other than your dowry and you have no interest other than freedom. So what I'm proposing is something very sensible and objective. When we get married, your father will set you free, and you won't have any husband to please or any other crap. I don't want and don't expect anything from you, I don't care if you're sailing to Ravka or venturing on The Fold.”

“Do you want the money out of greed or despair?”

Kaz took a second to get a better look at you after that sneaky question. You had asked the correct question amid so many banalities and he realized that you were more cunning than you looked.

If he wanted to know your secrets, you also wanted to know his.

“A bit of both.” He was sincere.

“And what do you intend to do with my father's industries? Because you would win them too. And any misdirection could end up reducing my father's empire to nothing, and I don't want him to see the thing he loves most in ruins.”

Brekker heard the feelings in your voice. There was a hidden pang of hurt, but a lot of determination and honesty. You loved your father and understood him, even if you didn't agree with his principles. You had a fair and upright nature and were able to move mountains to get things done the way you thought was right. That was a red flag for Kaz. You were a good person. And he not.

He could never promise you things that go back to a good guy. But he could promise you honesty and justice. Kaz Brekker would never take something from someone the way it was taken from him so many years ago. He was a monster. But never in the same category as Pekka.

“I have no interest in having an empire doomed to fail.” His eyes were serious. “My motivation has always been greed. Why would I sink the company that is capable of making me such a rich man?”

He would have to be an idiot to let such a lucrative business go. And Kaz Brekker was anything but an idiot.

“Would you let me do anything I want?”

“I have no interest in what you don't or do.”

You hesitated for a second, as if remembering another detail. “My father doesn't believe in divorce, and even if he did, I would be pressured to remarry. Do you understand that we couldn't divorce?”

“I have no desire to marry again. And you might as well get other men you want without making a fuss, without your father finding out.” Always rational and objective. Without any inclination to the heart's desires. “There is no room in this world for feelings. Much less in this agreement. If you fall in love with someone you will have to be content with just relating to them, not getting married. And it seems like a small price to pay for so many benefits.”

It was the perfect plan. Did you know that. It was rational, objective and cunning. Something advantageous for both without costing too much. But why did you feel that something could go very wrong? You were a romantic person and you knew you could see things where they didn't exist. The truth was, you would have to leave your heart completely out of the picture.

Just a business transaction.

Brekker seemed to see a hint of hesitation in your eyes.

“It's very simple, Ms. Y/L/N.” That voice that gave you goose bumps hovered in front of you. “You marry me and you still have your freedom, because I don't give a damn about what you do after.”

“20 million from Kruges. Rich.” his eyes gleamed with a deep glow.

“And how do I know this isn't a trick?”

“I don't promise lies.” His firm face was serious “I won't give you happiness, Y/n. Much less love. Love doesn't exist in Kerch. But I will give you freedom, independence, a comfortable life that you are accustomed. And it seems to be much more than you have now.”

You knew you could be making a deal with the devil. Selling your soul to that man with the face of a fallen angel and the aura of Lucifer. But what choice did you have?

You couldn't go back if you sealed that deal. That man would be bound whit you, even by a piece of paper, for a lifetime. Was it worth the price? You didn't care for your father's press to want to be in the management and you had a lot more money than twenty million Kruges. What would you be missing? Your chance to marry one day whit someone you came to love? But if you came home without someone one day from now your father would marry you to a gargoyle. And the way out to flee no longer seemed a viable option.

Yes, it was worth it.

Seeming to see from the glint in your eyes that you've made a decision, Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, reached out a leather-gloved hand toward you. His eyes sparkled with a mysterious spark, the scent of male cologne with a hint of danger lurking around the room. And for a moment, you felt a shiver go up your spine and the feeling that your life had just begun.

“Agree to marry me?” He said.

The feeling was that you were about to embark on the greatest adventure of your life. You didn't know what that little stunt with Kaz Brekker awaited you. But you would find out.

“Yes.” You took his hand in a firm, intense handshake that held a million secrets.

A satisfied, victorious smile came to his lips. And whenever Kaz gave him that expression, it felt like seeing the fallen angel that was the reason so many humans sinned. The clouds in the sky shifted, moving out of the moon's path and making the distilled rays of light shimmer more brightly. His black hair and white skin were graced with those bundles, and for a second his beauty was overwhelming.

You held your breath.

Brekker continued to say something, but you couldn't pay attention. Your heart began to race, the moonlight following in his footsteps as Kaz got up from his chair and went to fetch some papers from across the room. You couldn't tear your eyes away from him. His body was taller and thinner than you deduced when he was sitting down. Kaz had long, slender legs beneath black straight-cut pants, his chest was broad and his waist was narrow. For a second, you felt like running your hand over the contours of his body.

You shifted your attention forward abruptly. Focusing eyes on something else.

That was the curse of handsome men. They fooled women and made them daydream. With his underworld god beauty and mysterious aura with a touch of danger, Kaz Brekker was overwhelmingly attractive. And your blood reacted to that. Any woman would have reacted the same way.

“And we'll have to leave tomorrow morning…” he sat opposite you again.

“Sorry, what?”

You turned your attention to his words, not remembering half of what he said seconds ago. Kaz looked at you intently this time, squinting his eyes millimetrically, as if he was trying to guess which paths your mind had wandered in for the past two minutes.

“Your deadline is the day after tomorrow, isn't it?”

"Yes." You got back to the core of the problem once more. “The trip to my house takes a few hours. Half a day if it's raining.”

Kaz had his eyes on the papers in his hands, maybe they were maps or documents, but you didn't feel like craning your neck to see what it was. Leaning over to view the papers meant getting closer to Brekker, and two hours in his presence was enough for you to understand that nothing good would happen if you got any closer. Or maybe you didn't trust your own feelings and emotions.

“This will have to be done very discreetly.” He didn't look up from his papers. “If any rumors about our deal reach the wrong people, your father will hear about our plan. And that meant you will being forced to marry someone else, and me without my money. Does anyone know you're here because you planned to run away?”

You shook your head. “No. I didn't get to tell my friends. But now that the plan is different, I intend to tell a friend that…”

“You can't tell anyone.” Kaz lifted ocean blue eyes to you in an electrifying look that made you shiver.

“And what is supposed to say to my friends?” You felt a pang of indignation.

“That we are in love.”

This time, your breath was gone. The phrase was like pouring gasoline on an old, flammable woodpile. And you were afraid of what might be the match that would set off a fire.

Kaz noticed your reaction and was amused by it. “Just say some nonsense about falling in love with a criminal. It wouldn't be the first time a rich little girl has fallen in love with the bad guy, and I guarantee it won't be the last.”

“And you won't tell anyone about the truth too?” You wanted to change the focus you.

“I don't have to answer to anyone.”

This time you gave a smug smile and crossed your arms in an insolent gesture. “So everyone will think the infamous Kaz Brekker, Dirty Handes and Ketterdam's most dangerous gangster is in love with a rich little girl?”

Kaz narrowed his eyes at your teasing.

“It won't be the first time that the man with a bad temper and dangerous soul falls in love with the little girl. And I'm sure it won't be the last.” You said.

You were provocative, witty and stubborn. You would always hit at the same height and loved to show people that could very well play their game. Brekker unraveled this perfectly. You weren't the kind of woman who would be peaceful, serene, and calm. You wouldn't be like Inej. You would not take his orders and his taunts in silent, contained rage. You were intense. And that was a danger.

Why did he get the feeling you were so much more than he imagined?

“Let's go to your house tomorrow morning. Nine in the morning.” He changed the subject. “I'll go with you and we'll get married.”

"My father must be preparing everything by now." You sighed. “He takes his promises very seriously and I have no doubt that, when I returns, the ceremony scene will be set in the party garden.”

Partly you were relieved about it now. Planning a ceremony are intense and personal. You never really thought about getting married, but you always imagined that if one day it happened it would be the man of your dreams. And you didn't know if you would want to organize a fake wedding. There were certain things that were inevitable to keep the heart from breaking.

“Better yet, the faster the better.”

The two of you discussed some more details of the plan in the next few hours. It was agreed that Kaz would pick you up at nine from your hotel tomorrow, in an elegant hired carriage (which you obviously would be paying for) and the two of you would go to your house in Kerch. For all intents and for all people, the truth would be that the two of you were in love. It was such a typical cliché that it wouldn't be the least bit hard to believe.

And after a while, you two could already show yourself to the world as a couple who barely saw each other. Rich society was full of them: marriage with coldness and distance, where the man has his bets and lovers and the woman her travels and her jewelry. Your father would surely understand and leave you alone. After all, he had gotten a son-in-law to inherit his empire. A young son-in-law with blood for business who would make your father extremely satisfied. However, now the two of you had to look like a couple in love. And the reality of the situation was a secret that only the two of you would take with you to the tomb.

But, that night it was difficult for you to sleep. Anxiety, restlessness and fear gnawed at you like cunning mice, rolling you from side to side in bed, whispering in your ears millions of futures where everything could go wrong. Where not even Kaz Brekker's plans could free you from the clutches of one of your father's suitors.

When the clock struck seven in the morning, you jumped out of bed with unsettling, restless energy. You didn't like feeling helpless and waiting for Brekker to show up was exactly the definition of a princess in trouble. You had to do something.

- -

“What do you mean to get married?!” Jesper choked on his breakfast, and Nina nearly spit out all her orange juice.

Kaz rolled his eyes and continued sorting through the documents on the large round table. He was going to be gone for a few days at most and needed the people he trusted most to take care of business while he was gone. There were a lot of robberies to do and Kaz spent the night crafting and modifying plans for options where he wasn't involved. He had made a list of what needed to be checked at ports and what needed to be resupplied at Crow clube.

The plan was to marry you when they arrived in Kerch and return to Crow Club the next day. Kaz knew he would have to bring you, the two of you would have to stay together until your dowry was delivered to him. After that you could go on any adventure you wanted.

But dealing with the Crows was being more exasperating than Kaz could have expected.

"I didn't even know you had a girlfriend!" Wylan was in shock.

"Nobody knew!" Nina and Inej had their chins on the floor. Matthias was the only one who didn't seem to care so much.

"I didn't know the affairs of my private life were your business." Kaz didn't look up from the papers he kept in folders for the stupid ones.

"But you never said anything." Inej said.

"It was the intention."

"It's with Y/n, isn't it?" Jesper had bright eyes and a gleeful gambling smile stretched across his lips.

Kaz looked up at the boy with chocolate creamy skin, and his eyes narrowed slightly.

“She spent hours in yours office last night.”

"Oh my Santis!" Inej, Nina and Wylan exclaimed at once, eyes wide.

"The daughter of the richest man in Kerch." Wylan said.

"YOUR DOG!" Jesper clapped Kaz on the shoulder with an open palm, a loud laugh echoing and joy filling his voice.

Kaz suppressed the urge to look at the spot where Jesper had touched him. It had been years since he'd gotten over the most brutal aversion to touch, when the mere thought of getting close to someone made him tingle and dizzy with imminent fainting. At 28 years old, Kaz Brekker had proven to be greater than the demons and weaknesses that haunted him, wanting to see his downfall. A man who wanted to defeat Pekka could have no weaknesses. And he prided himself on almost have none of them.

However, offhand gestures made him look at the spot where he had been touched. The sensation brought was not unbearable or nauseating, but strange. And when the situation was skin to skin in a touch that caught him off guard, the feeling was unpleasant. Like a splinter under the skin.

It was easier with people Kaz felt comfortable with, but it wasn't something he cared about. He forced himself to overcome the most brutal aversion just to be a man without weaknesses, no chance of being defeated in a torture, no chance of being defeated by a faint. No for to touch someon.

“I thought you didn't know her in person when I warned you yesterday.” Inej tried to contain her little smile.

“It was the intention. You guys forgot the definition of secret…”

"Boss." One of the employees had entered that exclusive room. "There's someone here wanting to talk to you, Sir." He looked apprehensive.

Kaz frowned. The crow club had no movement at eight in the morning.

"Who is?"

"I think…"

"Will you please let me through!" The female voice sounded outside the room.

Jesper and the rest of the gang were wide-eyed, mouths opening in amusement and bewilderment. Kaz was catatonic. What the fucking hell were you doing there?!

"What do you mean I can't talk to your boss?!" And you continued. “I spoke to him yesterday...Don't give me these arguments, my dad tells his employees to tell people exactly that...I swear if you touch out about me again I will...”

"Fucking hell!" Kaz came out from behind the counter, crossing the living room and opening the door.

He came face to with that scene. A short girl who argued with a bouncer who was triple her height and size. Kaz knew the man was arrogant and macho, and had probably nudged your temper. He would have been amused by the scene if he wasn't abgry that you didn't follow his explicit rules.

“Ray.” Kaz glanced at the bouncer, a steady gaze that made the brute immediately back away from you.

You even gave the man an angry look before heading towards Kaz.

"What are you doing here?!" He whispered angrily.

"I couldn't wait." You wiggled your fingers, a tic of anxiety. “I could barely sleep. It was lucky I didn't show up at six in the morning.”

“That's not excuses. We have a schedule!"

“But I couldn't wait!" You whispered too. “It's visseral. I can't just sit there and wait!”

What an insufferable creature!

"Well, you'll have to learn because…!"

"What are you two whispering back there? “ Jesper's voice interrupted the discussion in whispers.

The two of you turned to the troupe standing in the doorway of the Crow room. Playful, mischievous smiles were plastered across their faces, and you felt your cheeks blush. Kaz and you looked at each other, and in that second of silent complicity, the two of you finally stepped into the roles of partners in crime.

Tagged: @aleksanderwh0r3 @thedelusionreaderbitch @hi-there-x @mell-bell @glowingatdawn @subjecta13-thefangirl @itsnotquimey @thatchampagnebitch @lamoursansfin @lostysworld @s3xymoonman @is-it-really-a-secret

[yesimwriting]

Searing Starlight (chapter two)

A/n Chapter twooo!! I cannot believe the support I’ve been getting on here im so excited to share my six of crows/shadow and bone fics with y’all!

 Lmk if you’d like to be tagged when I update this story!! And just letting y’all know I take requests so if you have an idea you’d like to see me attempt feel free to comment it or send it in :)) 

--

At least Kaz’s claimed ‘wraith’ (which is such an odd thing to just have) is a girl, and a seemingly kind one at that. She was quick to find me, body pressed into wooden shelves and glass bottles, and subtly gesture for me to follow her. It had been difficult to keep track of her flighty form through the crowd, but I think there was a point in her strange raveling, to make sure no one was following me. 

She’s not particularly talkative, but she doesn’t seem bothered by me. She tossed me a random oversized shirt to pull over my dress when she saw how I kept adjusting the fabric and crossing my arms. That was kinder than she needed to be. I think I’ll like her. 

“So you’re a wraith,” I manage, breaking the nervous silence, “Like a full time, constantly on-call wraith.” 

The question seems to puzzle her, dark eyebrows drawing together. “Yes.” The corner of her mouth twitches up slightly, a smile. “A full time, constantly on-call wraith.” She hesitates, perfect stance adjusting. “What were you doing before?” 

Great. This question. “Nothing important.” It’s not a fair cop-out. Especially since she answered my question. “I um...I’m indentured to Rollan Kenya.” 

I watch her reaction to the name. Some know of him. Some revere him. Some loathe him and everything he’s associated with. “His religious interpretations are controversial.” 

“If you think what he says to the public is bad you should hear what he says in private.” I push myself further into the chair I’m in. 

Something strange flickers over her features. “I can imagine.” 

Shaking my head, I hope I’m ending this conversation. “What’s your name?” 

A hesitation. “Inej.” 

I nod once, “I’m y/n.” 

“Do you need water, y/n?” 

I scratch my still exposed knee. “That’d be nice. Thank you.” 

She’s quick to leave, feet making no noise. A minute later she returns with a cup. I have no reason to suspect her, but I still sniff the cup before taking a cautious sip. I wonder if Anya made it back home. I wonder if she’s worse off for it. 

Before I can fall into a pit of debating despair, the door to the room Inej took me to squeaks open. On instinct, I snap my gaze towards the door, tensing. The first person I notice is Kaz, entering the room with a determination too intense for this time of night. Jesper is quick to follow, and I drop my stare. I’ve never had to interact with anyone I’ve lied to after taking their money. 

“Are they gone?” Inej asks, clearly accustomed to such brooding tension. 

Kaz nods once, “It took too much convincing--the Inferni’s more than she’s letting on.” 

I’m literally in the room. “I’m not--we’ve spoken two words to each other, sorry my abilities didn’t come up.” 

He turns towards me with a deadly grace. My grip on the cup tightens. What the hell is wrong for me? How deeply instilled is that god complex Kenya wanted in me? It must be as part of me as my name if I felt comfortable enough to speak that way to Kaz Brekker. 

I keep my eyes on his cane, waiting for some kind of physical retaliation. “Maybe the grisha hunting you would appreciate your sense of humor more.” 

It’s a bluff. He needs me. He’s desperate for something that can mimic a Sun Summoner. Still though, I’m not in the mood to poke a bear with a stick. “Speaking from experience,” I clear my throat awkwardly, “They tend not to.”

“Then I suggest you begin explaining before I decide I’d rather take my chances and you lose your worth.” 

Maybe if I hadn’t spent the last eleven years of my life with Kenya, his words would haunt me. I keep my expression set, but the lanterns in the room flicker. “It’s not as impressive as they’re making it seem--Inferni can produce fire, regular, red, bright fire.” I pause, feeling energy in my palms. “I can do the same, but I can also,” I extend a flat palm, “Do this.” 

I focus my energy on restraint, forcing the fire on my skin to remain there, covering my palms in a cold, blue glow. “It’s still fire, just blue--and that matters to them because blue light is the only kind you can use in the Fold.” Do they know anything about the fold? “Kenya, the man I’m indentured to, believes that this ability makes me eligible for Sainthood. He specializes in collecting people he thinks are eligible for Sainthood.” The low flame coating my palm licks upwards as I remember what disappointing Kenya means. “And if you don’t meet his standards, he’ll find a way to make sure you do. That’s why the grisha want me. He made me more and they believe that if they give me to someone who can give me an amplifier I’ll be able to produce enough blue light to protect an entire fleet.” 

“What do you mean ‘he’ll find a way to make sure you do’?” Inej’s voice is cautious. An attempt to be respectful. 

I drop my palm, letting the fire disappear into nothingness. “I wasn’t born with the ability to control the blue light so well--It’s difficult enough to produce for longer than two seconds let alone keep it from burning everything in sight. By the time I ended up in Kenya’s control he had learned that certain stimulants. Some scientists are working on a more grisha-targeted kind, but Kenya has managed to work with the generic well enough.” Hands shaking, I wipe the condensation off the side of the cup and hold out my wrist. Using the condensation, I begin to wipe at my wrist and forearm, smearing my makeup and revealing the needle bruises. “The key is withdrawals.”

Thoughts of begging Kenya, crying and screaming for another fix as he promised to give me that as soon as I showed some control of my abilities, make the shaking in my hand worse. I clasp my hands together, squeezing them in hopes of hiding the signs of withdrawal. 

I stare at the ground, not wanting to take anyone’s reaction in. I handle pity as well as I handle kindness. 

“Do you think you could produce enough blue light for one ship?”

Looking up, I take in Kaz’s measured expression. I’m glad he’s sticking to business. I’d rather that than deal with unpacking all of that with a group of strangers that don’t care if I live or die. 

“I could try.” I’ve never tried to protect anything that large. “Even if I can, it doesn’t mean a voyage like that will be safe.” 

“There’s no real safety in the Fold,” he replies easily. Realistic expectations. That will make this easier. “No one finds out about her--especially not Pekka Rollins.” 

I pull my arm towards my body, glad for the opportunity to hide the bruises. Signs of my weakness. The worst part was always the way Kenya would speak to me after. Pathetic. Weak. Trapped within the restraints of my flesh. 

“Who’s Pekka Rollins?” 

Kaz briefly turns his head in my direction. “No one that will ever concern you.” He ignores my annoyed huff. “We’ll use the Inferni to get to Alina Starkov.” 

Alina. Alina Starkov. “What do you want with Alina?”

 At that, the room seems to drain. I feel weirder than when they were seeing my abilities. 

“You know her?” Jesper’s surprise reveals more than Kaz wants him to. I don’t miss the glare he receives.

I half-shrug. “We were in the same orphanage for awhile.”

“How did you get to Ketterdam?” I don’t trust Kaz’s urgency. 

“I don’t remember, I was a child and I--I hit my head that night I think. I just woke up and I was with Kenya.” 

“How well do you know Alina?” 

There was a point in time in which she was my best friend. We learned how to braid hair by practicing on each other, we would draw maps together, and I was the only one who knew about her crush on Mal. “Not that well.” 

He takes a step forward, eyes almost squinting. The touch of distrust is evident on his face. “If you’re lying I’ll find out.” 

I owe Alina at least this. “Well then it’s a good thing I’m not.” 

I’m not naive enough to believe that I’ve convinced him, but his intense gaze does not remain on me. I’m relieved when his attention is off of me, but he’s only moving on to start planning the riskiest thing I’ve ever done. 

-- 

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