#also i just used a mask my mom got me for christmas and my skin is sooooo soft i love it

[hellfireeddiemunson]

ok so i took a shower to be more awake and it worked phew

[sirfrogsworth]

Photo Restoration Project - Part 1

A long time ago, Katrina sent me some old photos of her family I could restore. Her parents have been helping me from afar for years and I really wanted to do something nice for them. Unfortunately my dad got much worse and I pretty much forgot about this project for quite some time.

But then I decided to visit Katrina in Orlando and we discussed having dinner with her parents and I remembered these photos. So I thought I would fix them up so I could present them as a gift in person.

The first and most important photo was from her parents wedding.

Old photo prints can fade over time due to UV light exposure. From what I understand, different colors fade at different rates and red/orange tones tend to be the least susceptible to this fading. Thankfully all of the color information is still there, it's just that the darks are not as dark and the lights are not as light. The dynamic range got squeezed like an accordion. However, if you do a levels adjustment on the red, blue, and green channels individually, you can unsqueeze the accordion and balance everything back to the way it was.

But you can't always save everything and there may be other damage that needs fixing. If something becomes pure white, there is no way to restore that detail. Thankfully I was able to use the new generative fill feature to bring back detail in the dress, the flowers, and the tuxedo shirt.

And because I hate front facing flash and how it makes colors look ugly and sterile, I may have also added a marble floor and pillars.

Next up was a photo of Anastasia, Katrina's mom, protesting Henry Kissinger on behalf of her home country of Greece. This suffered from the same color fading issues.

What made this one a little more tricky was an uneven fading. The left side had to be adjusted independently and the top was even more faded. I had to isolate the trees to bring back their color. And the protest signs were difficult to read, so I enhanced those as well.

Next we have this lovely photo of Anastasia tending to some house plants.

This photo was actually in decent shape. It lost a little contrast, had a little bit of fading, and her top retained almost no detail I could recover. Recovering accurate skin tones is probably one of the most important skills I learned when restoring these photos. I wanted to keep that filmic look of the era while avoiding making people look jaundiced or pale. Lightroom's new masking feature that let's you isolate every aspect of the people it detects in a photo. This made fixing skin tones much easier. I could isolate just her face or her lips or her hair or her eyes and make precise individual adjustments. This process could have taken a great deal longer without this feature. But, I brought back proper contrast and color, added a little bit of detail to her top with gen fill, and hopefully got fairly accurate skin tones as well.

Next up, forward facing flash strikes again in a photo of Mike and Anastasia during Christmas.

Film did not do well in low light. If it was indoors and nighttime, you pretty much had no choice but to use flash. But a flash is a very small, bright light source and this causes a very unflattering result on humans. Today we have much more powerful flashes with rotating heads. We can bounce the light into the ceiling or off a wall and increase the size of the light source to get a more flattering result.

In this photo I wasn't able to do much, so I just balanced the skin tones and brought out some hidden detail and called it a day. It's still a lovely memory and thankfully film has such character that it negates a lot of the unflattering aspects of direct flash.

Next up is some cuteness...

A big priority when editing photos is to make sure the subjects are the star of the photo. And in this one their faces were a bit obscured in shadow. There was also a lot of haze in the background hiding the beautiful vista. Not to mention when I cleared that haze, there was this super faint hint of something in the sky. I can't tell if it was a rainbow, but I decided to believe it was a rainbow. The only thing that I am still struggling with, and this seems to be common with a lot of old photos, is green. Getting a good, saturated, natural green to look right has been very difficult. Everything I try ends up looking toxic or fake. The only thing that ends up looking right with the rest of the photo is more of a yellow-y brown. It's something I'll have to work on as I learn, but as long as the overall photo looks balanced and natural, I'm okay with not perfectly nailing the greens.

Up next we have a lovely scene on a Greek dock...

As far as editing goes, this was pretty basic. I just undid the fading, adjusted the skin tones, replaced the blown-out sky, and made the colors pop. But I think this is actually one of my favorite before and after shots. I just love how such a simple fix brought this scene to life.

A new car is a big deal and Anastasia looks so proud here...

This image has another common issue in addition to the typical fading of colors. It has a yellowish orange color cast. This could have been an issue with the film used or the development process or a chemical reaction on the print. A color cast is a lot like looking through colored glasses. It's like a translucent color material was put on top of the image. This can be a little trickier to deal with, but if you know your color theory, you might already know the solution. Blue is the opposite of yellow/orange on the color wheel, so if you introduce blue to the image it should balance out. Also, add a sky if it was missing.

Next up we have a landscaping project...

This one wasn't too tricky, but there was one interesting issue I had to address. All light has a color temperature. Daylight has a temperature of around 5500K. But the inside of the garage was being lit by reflected light and so that light took on the color temperature of the things it was bouncing off of. So I had to mask out the people and the car and address the color temperature inside the garage to make everything look balanced. Also, the green fought me hard on this one. And with the theme of this picture being plants, I felt I really needed to find a tone that worked. I think I finally got there, but I spent way too much time in the color picker doing trial and error of green tones. Also, new sky.

With this next one I actually did a pretty thorough explanation of how I edited it. But this was probably my favorite puzzle to solve from this collection of photos.

I'll do the abridged explanation...

The physical photograph was printed on a paper with a very heavy texture. And when it was scanned, the light from the scanner bounced off that texture and created a pattern of unwanted highlights.

I was worried this was impossible to fix and I almost gave up on this photo. But after one final Google search I discovered something called "Fast Fourier Transform." It's a mathematical formula that can be used to detect patterns. And the image editing software Affinity Photo, just so happens to have a filter called FFT denoise that helps you remove unwanted patterns from scanned photos.

And thanks to that filter, I was able to remove a substantial amount of that pattern...

Then I did my standard clean up techniques...

Oh, and I decided to try learning how to colorize.

Photoshop has a new set of experimental filters and a colorization tool is one of them. It is not great yet, but it is a great starting place. Instead of having to hand paint every single thing in the photo, Photoshop gave me a base to work with and I could take it from there with traditional techniques.

That's all I have the energy for today, but there are a bunch of cool restorations to talk about. Hopefully you all find this interesting. It was such a great gift to give to Katrina's parents. And spending that time with them and making them happy felt like I was with my own parents again. So we all got a gift in that wonderful evening.

Part 2 coming as soon as I have the energy!

[girlyandunruly]

2023: Most important thing is family

First year I’ve felt a shift from my “forever young” lifestyle to realizing we are getting old. Our friends no longer join every big event. Both our grandmothers passed away earlier this year. We’ve also had some health problems we’ve had to manage. There’s more time spent at home with continued house maintenance and remodeling projects (and a little of relaxation when possible). I guess since we spend more time at home, we keep improving it. But overall, I’m like “what’s going on? Are we boring? Oh, we are just getting older”, blah.

The biggest focus this year has been family. Between birthdays, funerals, national holidays, and newborn family member, we traveled 8 times in the year to spend time with family. With all the life changes, I cherish the time I spend with our family.

Workwise, this year I hired three new people for my team, and it was the first time in 5 years working at Barr Engineering that I felt the workload was finally manageable. All those years of stress finally paid off; I have a solid team, way more money (ha!) and Barr did an article about me so getting some industry recognition.

Traveling to a new place or visiting family is my favorite thing to do. Here’s this year’s list, 9 different states and 3 new countries, not one full month spent in Denver.

JANUARY:

Jackson Hole, WY snowboarding with friends (Highlight: seeing a moose on the ski run!!)

FEBRUARY:

Taos, NM snowboarding trip with friends for my 38th birthday (Highlight: live music at a bar)

MARCH:

Tucson, AZ for work NAEM conference (Highlight: cucumber vodka lemonades)

APRIL:

Houston, TX for abuelita’s celebration of life

MAY:

Birmingham, MI for Luka’s birthday

JUNE:

Vienna, Austria trip with my mom (Highlights: ALL THE ART!! Absolute best and champagne breaks)

JULY:

Collbran, CO camping for 4th of July

Lake George, NY for Betty Brown’s celebration of life

AUGUST:

Nagawicka Lake, WI for grandpa Bob’s 95th birthday

Serbia and Montenegro for our 5th year wedding anniversary (Highlights: Basketball player Boban Marjanovic being at the same restaurant and all the cats in Montenegro)

SEPTEMBER:

Houston, TX for business trip (Highlight: Got to see SanJuanita and parents for a night)

OCTOBER:

Minneapolis, MN for work training

NOVEMBER:

Birmingham, MI for sisbro’s birthday and went to see Metallica (Highlight: Detroit Institute of Art with so many dutch paintings)

Tampa, FL for Thanksgiving with the Brown family (Highlights: Salvador Dali, wild dolphins and saving Sofi)

DECEMBER:

Houston, TX for Christmas with the family (Highlight: Go Karts with the siblings!)

The times I wasn’t traveling but stayed in Denver were memorable: 1- Goat yoga 2- Getting a limo to see SOFI TUKKER at Red Rocks 3- Bridgerton themed brunch with Elizabeth 4- Indoor mini golf with friends where I won :D 5- Denver Nuggets won the NBA championship and my obsession with Jokic started 6- Seeing The Book of Mormon 7- Makeup class with Kate at Sephora, and finally learning better makeup techniques (I know what to do with primer and bronzer) 8- Obsessed with Women’s World Cup games 9- Vivas Streets where Denver closed Broadway and Welton and had it open for bikers/walkers and no cars. So much fun. 10- Free outdoor movie The Goonies at Curtis Park 11- Tried something new: Hip Hop class with Holly 12- Seeing Jerry Seinfeld 13- Discovered new favorite restaurants: Jovanina’s Broken Italian and Bao Brewhouse

Relax time at home:

Creating art of any form is my favorite pastime. And this year I’ve become obsessed with creating miniatures. A few inspired by my recent travels: Mozart's home after Austria and Porto Winery after Portugal.

Favorite books I read this year: o The Blueprint for Revolution by Srdja Popovic o All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr

Bigger focus on skin care. I have a routine of drinking tea collagen every morning, take vitamins and use serum. The occasional face mask.

Favorite TV shows/Movies in 2023:

Shrinking

Beef

Transatlantic

Ted Lasso

Air

The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar

BARBIE!!

With all the art obsession this year I came up with our Halloween costume: Vincent Van Gogh and The Starry Night

Baby news!

New nephew Noah born in February 2023 and new baby announcement from Justin and Vanessa again on the same year! (another boy!)

Owen and Pearl had their baby Soren on November 7, 2023.

My 2024 wishes are for better health and continued happiness <3

[someonedm]

It was an inconvenience, really. Jane didn't want to be here, and neither did I. She had all her friends to be with, chatting and quacking about things I had nothing to do with. And I had... my alone time, I guess. Sweet, quiet, alone time.

But things didn't go out as planned. Jane got suspended, for being a bitch, and when school said she couldn't go to the field trip, she called her rich parents who got it all sorted out. But room arrangements were already made, which landed her right here, with me.

I suppose we both made the best out of it. She spent her time with her girls, while I had a blast going through social media. But, when bedtime finally arrived, we couldn't avoid it. We have to stay together in the same room.

She steps out of the shower, her wet hair dripping drops of water onto the floor. She turns to me with annoyance. "What are you looking at?"

I hadn't noticed I was staring at her until her remark, and it caught me off by surprise. "Oh. I just-yeah." I got in the shower. "Good thing you are finally washing, don't know if I could sleep with you stinking out the room." She said it so incidentally, not caring about if it'd hurt me or not. The kind of effort someone puts in a "congrats" message in a group chat.

Coming out of the shower, I find her still standing there, looking at her own reflection in the mirror. Seeing me, she swiftly turned to her toothbrush, trying to hide the self-absorbance this entails.

Her eyes, reflecting from the mirror, look tired. Her skin is dotted with little imperfections. Her mouth, which I was so used to see lie on a self-assured smirk, was curved down. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and we could both see her.

Perhaps she was thinking of another insult, perhaps she didn't mind my blank stare, but I noticed her relentlessness as she offered me a moisturizing cream. "You want some?"

"no, thanks."

She went back to her bed silently. She was no longer wearing her popular girl persona. We were both tired and just wanted to sleep.

After finishing my prep up, I too went back to my bed. I stretched my arm into my bag, fishing out a flask. I waved the flask in front of jane. "You want some?"

"Where'd you got this?" She laughed, reaching out her hand to take the flask.

"Stole it from my mom's cabin."

She gave it to me back. "Won't she be pissed at you?"

I gulped some of the scotch. "No way. She must've noticed it was gone as soon as I left. If she cared for me I would have heard from her way too long ago."

"Aaah." She yelped. "Sorry for asking".

"First time?" I asked with a full grin, unable to hide my satisfaction with the situation.

"You think?"

"You goody two shoes got yourself detained recently, so I don't know what to think."

"Hell nah. The first time was eighth grade. My ex's brother organized a party and snuck in booze. They said they would have got me with them, cause I looked a lot older than I was. I think that that sentence was why I took that first glass." She sighed, and I knew she has something weighing on her, but she stopped herself from speaking. "What about you?"

"My mom thinks that my first time was when she gave me, after he- after he- uhhh... yeah. It was a bad night for her, and she couldn't give any shit. I had to act like it was all new to me, as if I hadn't had one of those after other nights. I am not a great actress, but I did have a drunk and tired audience." I looked up to her, and noticed she too had a hard time looking in my eyes. "Forget about me. What about your party? Your ex??" I raised my eyebrows repeatedly, and it got a chuckle out of her.

"I'd rather not talk about him." She smiled, though it was a sad smile. "But since we are discussing firsts... well, me and Tyler. Homecoming party."

"Tyler, huh? never thought he was your type!"

"What do you think my type is?" she asked, intrigued by my statement.

"I thought you liked your boys strong and sassy. The kind of jock smart enough so you won't have to actually tutor him during your 'study sessions'. Not some theater student exchange kid!"

I laughed, but she didn't seem to like it. "Do you really think of me like that? That I'm that basic?"

I looked her in the eyes. Even after knowing how she looked without her makeup, she seemed so tired. The kind of tired that stems from frustration, rather than lack of sleep. Jane cared a lot about how people think of her, even if those people were outcasts like me. "If you want me to be sincere" she nodded. "Yes."

Her soft smile faded. "I guess I should go to sleep, then."

"Wait, I am sorry. Why don't you tell me about Tyler?"

"Okay, but, I can't promise to be awake to finish."

"Consider me an elephant. I am all ears." I gestured with my hands curved, extending my ears.

"He is smart, and funny, and kind - I thought he was kind. He helped me learn for history, and we actually did study, unlike what you were guessing. He said how he missed his friends at home, and I thought it was really sweet. I felt safe with him, that he cared for me. I think he did - I wasn't just a popular girl to achieve. He made it clear, romantic gesture after romantic gesture, and when homecoming came I offered him myself. And it was all great going forward, up until Christmas break. He finally had a chance to go back home and insisted I'd stay home with my family. He ghosted me all that time, including a week after he got back. Then he confronted me. Apparently, he was having a long-distance relationship with whom I thought was his ex, and they had sex when he came back for his visit. Said he loved me but that she won't let him be with me.

So I got a little basic, and invited one of the jocks to have rebound sex in his car. While his girlfriend was over."

I chuckled. "I am sorry. What you went through is terrible. But god damn is that a good way to get back at someone, you magnificent bastard."

"I am glad I am amusing you." I couldn't decipher the look on her face, resting for a split second, before turning back to gossip. "So, who's your first?"

"I had a first- yeah uh I definitely had one."

A malicious smile sneaked onto her face. "No, you didn't."

I held the palm of my hand at the back of my head and looked down in shame. "No, I didn't."

A familiar sense of vanity came from her. "Doesn't matter. Who'd you kissed?"

I wanted to lie, but instead, I hid my face in the palms of my hands, hiding from her glare. "I uh - I hadn't kissed anyone yet."

"Well, that's such a shame! I bet many boys like you. You just don't notice them, that's all."

This comment, coming from her, caught me off by surprise. I had anticipated some sassy, if not outright a bit mean remark. "Really? You think that? Cause you kinda sound like my mom."

I guess I shook her a bit too, cause the sass was quick to come. "I'm sure of it. You know how boys are - they lust after anyone they think they have a chance with."

"Ahh, there it is. Should I take it as a compliment?" I smiled softly. "Cause I'm not hurt."

Her eyes widened for a moment. "No I- I didn't mean it, I didn't mean it like that - Ugh, nevermind." She rubbed her eyes. It was late. "If you want me to, I can help you get any boy you'd like. Who you've got your eyes on?"

I was starting to feel uncomfortable, but I couldn't tell what about this innocent question was so jarring. "I don't know. I never thought about it."

She leaned forward on her bed. "Tell me your type, then, since we already talked about mine."

"You must guess first."

She looked me deep in the eyes, assesing how I looked. She then turned her head to the flask. I imagine she was going through what I've told her, trying to make a sense of me.

"You like shy artsy boys that keep to themselves. You get tired of the enthusiazm of other people, even if it's about things you like, so it's nice having someone who's more quiet, like you. But you also want him to be more emotional than you, cause if it was left up to you, you'd be scared of the relationship falling apart. Did I get it right?"

Her description felt off. It wasn't insulting or arrogant, and I couldn't tell what exactly was incorrect, but it felt wrong.

"I... I don't know." I knew what I wanted to say, and it made me anxious. I could feel the saliva getting stuck in my throat. "I like someone who's sarcastic and witty, and doesn't open up, so when they finally talk earnestly it feels like winning a prize. Someone who cares so much about how other people see them, that they take off their hand crafted mask just for you, and seeing them that way, they are only ever more beautiful."

My gaze drifted away from her as I spoke, and I couldn't bare to see how she had reacted.

"I am tired." Her voice finally broke the silence.

"Me too. I don't want to stop talking to you."

"Me too."

The vision of that flask felt burned in my memory as I thought about reaching out and taking another sip. I couldn't sleep, and perhaps more alcohol in my blood stream meant stopping to think. I couldn't stopped thinking, and it paralized me. Images ran in my mind, thoughts and ideas being intrusive, and I had no help in silencing them.

The steady rhythm of her breath calmed me down, but as I focused on it the intrusive thoughts only grew.

"Hey." Her voice was quite, almost a whisper.

"Can't sleep?" I answered, with the same crooked tone.

"No."

Her breath is still slow and calm, but I can feel my own heart pounding faster. I wonder if she can hear it beat from beyond my skin.

"When you talked about the type of person you like.

You weren't talking about a boy, right?"

I turned my head to face the wall, watching the creaks, trying to make them absorb my thoughts and visions. I knew she would hate me for it, and the thought of being honest made breathing almost impossible.

"No."

I listened the rumble of her bed sheets, and her light steps on the floor, and my squeaking bed as she set on its other edge. Tears filled my eyes and I swallowed the saliva down my throat.

"Was it about me?"

I rose up on my end of the bed, looking at her being the most difficult thing I have ever done. I couldn't see her clearly through my tears, but I knew she was absolutely beautiful.

"Yes."

She reached out her soft hands around the back of my head, leaning closer and kissing me.

I was surprised and uncomfortable but I loved every moment her tender lips touched mine.

I parted away, breathing heavily as I only now felt relieved. I sounded like a wailing baby, and I must have looked like one when I wiped off my tears that continued to come.

She sat there, holding herself. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to make you uncomfortable... I didn't..."

I braced her as hard as I could. We kissed again, now calm between each other's arms, trading our air between our body and stopping only when we had to. We cherished each other's beauty, finding comfort in each other's eyes.

She laid her head on my lap, and I caressed her hair. "I don't want to leave you."

"Me neither." I leaned in and kissed her forehead. "I want to hold you until dawn. But the bed is too small."

She woke up and went to bed, and it dawned on me how tired I am. As we both lay in our separate cushions, she lends her hand towards mine, and I hold hers.

[julyarchives]

Don’t You Hear Me Howling? || (M) || 08

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upsidedown, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

→ Pairing: Yeo One x Female Reader | Kino x Female Reader

→ Genre: A/B/O AU; Omegaverse; College AU.

→ Words:  3.8K

→ Contains: mentions of alcohol; wolf shifting; some Alpha-Alpha tension; Y/N making out with a special guest 👀; smut; Jealousy

→ A/n: Thus was supposed to be posted yesterday, but we sort of got lost in the calendar, so here it is now (oops?) we hope it isn't too lame and you guys like it! Also, as mentioned in the warning, there is a special appearance heheh.

→ Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • 06 • 07 • 08

As much fun and easygoing as things were for you, you felt glad for the holidays break. You got out of the cab and breathed in deeply, inhaling the scent of the reservation forest that boarded the neighborhood.

Every year your pack has their own ritual to celebrate your ancestors during the holiday, and you were actually looking forward to participating this year, after missing it since you started college, for many personal reasons - and one of them included a very difficult talk with your parents. Also, so much has happened this semester that being in the small city allowed you to breathe some fresh air and organize your thoughts.

Your parent’s received you immediately as you went through the front door, with big hugs and wide smiles.

“It’s so good to have you home” your mom patted your head, her small frame making her reach high to do so.

“Let me take your stuff to your room” Your dad grabbed your luggage and turned around to take them upstairs

“Oh, it’s fine, I can take them” You tried to stop him, but he pretended he didn’t listen. But you knew he loved feeling like the man of the house. You redirected yourself to your mom “I think I could use a shower and a nap, the trip was too long.”

“Of course, honey, I’ll call you for lunch.”

You crossed paths with your dad in the doorway, who offered a small smile. He wasn’t very fond of small talk, so that was usual of him. You closed the door behind you and sat on the edge of the twin bed centered on the room. You looked around and took in the scent of your old home, which immediately brought back so many memories.

Before you left for college, you and Changgu were on bad terms, so there weren't pictures of you together anymore, but you could still see the tape marks on where they used to be glued on your old vanity mirror. You also remembered perfectly which drawer you have tucked them away, the one that you were currently staring at, contemplating taking a look at them. In the end, you just shook the idea off of you and followed what you’ve told your mom.

The day was rather quiet and peaceful, the big event being held in the night, and the talk you were dreading could wait after the celebrations. Your parents had visited you in college a couple of times, and you have visited them too, but it was rare, never for the holidays, so they prepared a special family lunch and you couldn’t deny that you had a good time being around them.

All the pack had gathered in a big clearing at night to celebrate, and the bonfire already burned high. You could feel all the attention shifting to you as you arrived, your dominant scent overpowering everyone else's, and you held yourself high.

The day you left the city you promised yourself to never get close to this pack again. They’ve ignored you and diminished you as an Alpha, and you knew this place wasn’t for you. They were all surprised to see you back, they could barely hide it, but every time you made eye contact with someone, they quickly turned away avoiding you.

You didn’t hide, not ashamed of you or your choices, but it was rather uncomfortable, the tension almost palpable in the air. You quickly grabbed your phone and texted Wooseok.

“ Please tell me you headed back town for the holidays”

To which he quickly replied

“I actually came to a friend’s house, I’m not there, sorry :(“

You sighed. The cold weather wasn’t so bad, the cool breeze was blowing softly and the fire kept the place warm if you got close enough. Your parents stopped along the way to say hi to their friends, but you followed closer to the bonfire, where your eyes quickly met the current Alpha.

For a moment you had forgotten he was Changgu’s father, but seeing him immediately brought the information back to you. They looked alike so much, the same eyes full of expression and sharp jawline. He was staring at you, not so happily, and nodded when you looked at him. Your expression could be sour, you weren’t sure how much you were holding back, but you respectfully nodded back.

He sustained the stare a couple more seconds, so did you, but soon he was calling everyone’s attention. Everyone gathered close and his wife stood by his side. That’s when you saw Changgu, getting close to his father with a stoic expression on his face.

You shoved your hands in the pocket of your jacket and offered a half-smile when he noticed you. At first, he seemed confused but returned the gesture

“Brothers and sisters” The senior Alpha called “tonight we celebrate the ones who have left us. Our ancestors passed us their wisdom,” He spoke firmly and slowly, looking around at everyone. “Their strength lives in us, and so we honor them with our nature.”

There was a long speech about union and tradition that to you it sounded too much like hypocrisy since the traditions would include you, supposedly the next Alpha of the pack, to be standing there as a successor. You did not bother, because you expected nothing else.

The leader of the pack was the first to turn. His skin shredded, giving space for the long dark brown and silver fur to grow as a howl echoed loudly, bringing out everyone’s instinct, but especially your Alpha ones, and soon you had shifted.

This was one of the reasons you wanted to come. Being in university has you taking suppressants daily, so letting yourself run free was like getting rid of tight clothes that restricted your movements. You howled loudly to follow the collective chant, an ode to the departed ones, a hymn for the pack, the freedom of instinct.

The pack’s Alpha ran in the front, leading everyone with his big frame. Changgu followed him, and it’s been so many years since you’ve seen his wolf form that you felt surprised. He was bulky and big, his posture very imponent, and you stopped to admire it for a second.

The run was freeing. The wind hiding your wolf nozzle, pushing your fur back, your paws hitting the dirt. You needed that, and just letting yourself act on your instincts was the best thing you could grant yourself at that moment.

Reaching the highest point of the forest, the collective howling restarted. You stopped right next to Changgu, whose wolf eyes watched you intently, and in wordless communication, you howled together, allowing the instinct to speak for yourselves.

…

After the traditional pack run, a feast was hosted by the Alpha, usually in his house, which was big enough to fit everyone comfortably in the large backyard.

Everyone happily celebrated what was the closest to a wolf Christmas, with an abundance of food for everyone. You sat with your parents at the assigned table, attending the event quietly, holding yourself back just enough to not drag any more attention than you were already getting. Mr. Yeo, the Alpha, customarily greeted every individual, and when he approached you and your family, you stood up and bowed respectfully.

"Thank you for having us" your father shook his hands

"It's my pleasure," Mr. Yeo politely answered, "I didn't expect your daughter to come."

He talked about you like you weren't there, and you were pretty sure that was purposefully meant to challenge your position.

"I came to pay respects to the tradition, sir" you opened a forced smile. A damn good one. "Can't let that behind me."

His eyes snapped in your direction with intensity, letting the impassive expression on his face falter for a second.

"Of course" he smoldered, masking it with a smile probably just as fake as yours.

To him, you represented a threat to his family's legacy, so it wasn't a big secret that he isn't very fond of you.

"I hope you enjoy the party," he said to you and your parents altogether, but redirected the last sentence at you "if there's anything you need, just tell me and I can provide."

"Of course, thank you so much" your mom answered gladly. She followed her leader with passion and always tried to be in good graces with him, so she's always been strict in the sense of community tradition and formalities.

"No need to thank me, ma'am" he smirked "that's just an Alpha job"

The provocation was like a punch in the gut. Ever since you were revealed an Alpha, Mr. Yeo tried to do everything in his power to deprive you of your given rights inside the pack. He raised Changgu to take his place and hated your guts for ruining his plans. He was a man of power and didn't appreciate when someone threatened that position.

"Y/N…" your mom called you with a warning tone to her voice.

You didn't notice how you were instinctively growling, low enough for only people close to the table to hear, but your Alpha emotion was strong enough to cause some heads to turn in your direction.

Mr. Yeo, of course, smiled in victory from a distance, happy to make you look bad in front of the community.

"You really don't care that he does everything to undermine me, do you?" You said to both of your parents.

"Honey, he's the Alpha." Your mom said calmly "everything he does is to protect you. Is the best for everyone."

"You do know I'm an Alpha too, right?" You scoffed, rolling your eyes.

They both stayed quiet. You looked at your dad, hoping he would say something in your favor, but he just complies with your mom's orderly silence.

"Yeah, thanks," you said, standing up and leaving.

Growing up you used to love being with your pack these kinds of celebrations were your favorite time of the year.  But now everything changed and suddenly you felt so misplaced that you felt like you didn't know anyone anymore. You knew all your neighbors, and their kids who went to school with you, but now they were almost complete strangers to you.

You grabbed a bottle of beer and looked around for the only familiar face you could find there. Changgu was not running Alpha errands with his dad, so when you found him he was surrounded by a group of girls, apparently younger than you, swooning at every charming smile of his, and you could just see how much he adored all the attention. You chuckled at his fuckboy attitude and the poor deluded girls who had a crush on him, hoping to get the son of the Alpha in love with them.

"Y/n?" You heard your name being called, taking you always from your thoughts.

The boy who called you was tall and slim, a long-ish hair half up in a ponytail and he looked happy to see you.

"Hey…?" You said with uncertainty, trying to figure out why he looked so familiar, but you just couldn't remember his name

"Hyunjin" he chuckled "I don't know if you remember me, but we went to school together."

"Right, Hyunjin, of course, I remember!" It finally clicked to you. Hyunjin was an omega, a few years younger than you but you two used to share some clubs in high school, but he didn't look so… hot. "You look so different, sorry it took me a while to recognize you."

"Yeah," he laughed shyly, scratching the back of his head. "I haven't seen you since you left for college. You look great"

His flirtatious half-smirk was very obvious and you actually thought he looked quite cute.

"You look great yourself" you bit your bottom lip, looking him up and down "But yeah, I kind of focused on graduating rather than coming here."

"I'm glad you're here now." He fully smirked this time "wanna go somewhere quieter? I'd love to catch up with you"

You felt hesitant at first, and you looked back to find Changgu again, and this time one of the girls was grabbing his arm, running his hand all over it. You wanted company for the party, and since Changgu was busy flirting, why shouldn't you do the same?

"Of course, let's do it." You took one last sip of your beer and linked arms with him.

He guided you around the house to the front porch, where you rested your elbows and watched the quiet street. Hyunjin had his back against it, looking at you.

You two actually did some catching up, and even exchanged numbers. You found out Hyunjin also went away for college, but he always came back for the holidays and breaks, and stuff like that, but nothing you were really paying attention to.

"You know, I have to confess something." He said, straightening his posture "I sort of had a crush on you, back in the days"

"Really?" You laughed softly, amused at the sudden confession. "Why didn't you say something, then?"

"Ah," he clicked his tongue. "Everyone knew you only had eyes for Changgu."

You rolled your eyes involuntarily.

"C'mon, everyone knew that, and Changgu didn't let anyone get close to you"

You were actually surprised to hear that since this wasn't something he ever told you but explained why you weren't popular with boys in high school.

"Well," you stood up and stopped directly in front of him "I don't see Changgu anywhere now, do you?"

Hyunjin grabbed your waist, pulling you closer to him, and your hands held the collar of his jacket.

"I guess I should shoot my shot, then" he licked his lips, alternating looks between your eyes and lips.

"What are you waiting for, big boy?" You challenged him.

He reached forward, kissing you rather urgently. His plumpy lips felt soft against yours, and he was a really good kisser. He pulled you against him, and you intertwined your fingers on the loose hair behind his neck. He gasped when you tugged on it, and you grinned into the kiss for getting a good reaction out of him. His hands sneaked down your waist, boldly squeezing your ass as the kiss got more intense, and he earned a shy hum of satisfaction out of you.

The noise of someone clearing their throat interrupted you two, making both of your heads snap in its direction, but neither of you really letting go of each other.

"Y/N" Changgu called you rather sternly, with a matching frown on his face. "I need you to help me deal with some stuff"

You sighed.

"Looks like some things didn't change, did they?" Hyunjin whispered just for you to hear,

"I'm not done with you yet." You whispered back, nibbling his earlobe.

"Now." Changgu interrupted again.

You pecked Hyunjin's lips before detangling from him, only then noticing that his hands were still in your ass.

"Text me, ok?" You said to him loudly as you followed Changgu inside the house.

He walked large steps and didn't bother looking behind to see if you were following.

"You couldn't have picked a worse moment to need me to deal with some bullshit, could you?" You whined, but he still paid no attention to you "all night, I was there doing absolutely nothing, and when I finally started to have some fun you decided I was important enough to attend whatever this is."

You babbled but still, he didn't respond, and you just kept following him around corridors in the big house, finally entering a dark room

"What is so important anyway that you had to call me so urgently-"

Changgu interrupted you when he pushed you against the door, making it slam loudly, his lips crashing against yours with a certain vigor.

At first, your eyes widened in surprise, and you pushed him back to look at him, but his hold on you didn't loosen up.

"What the fuck, Changgu?"

"Just," he stopped to think, breath already heavy in anticipation "shut up"

He resumed kissing you, and this time you rolled with it because, you couldn't deny, kissing him was something you ever saw yourself getting tired of. He pressed his whole body against yours, grinding on you making you gasp every time his thigh in between your legs rubbed against your clothed core.

"Fuck, Changgu" you said when he attacked your neck.

You pull the hair on his nape, making him look at you

"Is that what this is about?" You asked, forcing yourself to think straight "you can't bear the thought of me fucking someone else?"

Rather than answering, Changgu just growled, making you laugh ironically

"So you can flirt with all those pretty girls out there," you raised your eyebrows, "but I can not hook up with people? As if, Changgu"

You weren't as mad as much as you were enjoying taunting him for being so desperate to have you his.

"Just shut up, for fucks sake" he rolled his eyes and picked you, only to throw you on the bed behind him.

You finally recognized Changgu's old bedroom, with the light that came from the window above it. It was different, with no more posters taped to the wall or the action figures he liked to collect. It was a simple room with minimal decoration now.

"Gonna break another bed, wolfie?" You teased "I don't think daddy would be very happy to know you're fooling around with the Alpha"

He growled loudly, hooking his hands around your legs and pulling you closer to him, your bottom hitting his knees, which were pressed against the mattress. He leaned down and viciously kissed you, nibbling and ducking your bottom lip.

"You know, you're way hotter when your mouth is shut" he panted in between kisses.

Having turned into wolves mere hours ago had all your instincts right under the skin. The dominance, the connection between you and your Beta, the lust. Everything was on edge and you guessed that's why Changgu was so desperate.

He unbuttoned your jeans and pulled them down with your underwear in one swift motion while you took off your shirt, revealing your bare breasts underneath it. Changgu licked his lips and chuckled cockly when he ran a finger down your slit, showing you how wet you already were.

He took his shirt off, but didn't bother with his pants, and leaned back down to lick a long stripe of your juices, brushing softly on your clit on the way.

You moaned weakly.

"I'll show you why you're better here than with the what's-his-name out there." He said in a low husky voice.

He kept his hand around your legs and captured your sensitive nub in between his lips, making you buck your hips and grab his hair in response.

His back muscles were on display for you and it was hot to watch it contract and relax as he moved in between your legs.

"You're so eager for me, aren't you?" You teased him again and he hummed, sending vibrations down your core. "Do your worst, let me see if you're worth my time"

He leaned back up and you hated the loss of contact, but he quickly spun you around and pulled your hips up exposing your ass to him, and a harsh slap sting on your skin, accompanied by his deep growling that he didn't seem to have control over, and you yelped at the burning pain.

You heard him fumbling with his belt and soon he was entering you with no warning, making you bury your head in the pillow to muffle a loud moan. He didn't give you any time to adjust as he pounded into you fast, showing his desperation. He angled his hips just right to hit the perfect spot inside you to make you scream.

For a second you were afraid someone would hear you, but the backyard was not that close to the bedroom, and you tried to suppress your noises the best you could. Changgu seemed to be out of control with the way he hissed and moaned, your name falling out of his lips here and there.

A sloppy rushed fuck was not on your plans tonight but, fuck, it felt good. Changgu was getting sloppier by the minute and you just knew he wouldn't last long. You reached in between your legs and circled around your glistening clit, realizing you were in no better state than he was.

The closer you felt to your high, the more you squeezed your walls around Changgu's member, and the louder he moaned.

"Are you trying to get us caught?" You managed to say "such a loud wolf."

He didn't respond, too focused on fucking you, but he didn't get quieter.

You fastened your movements and had again your head buried in the pillow, moaning freely as you reached your orgasm, your whole body vibrating in pleasure. Changgu started thrusting faster, gripping your hips harder and pulling you against him to meet his thrust, and soon enough you felt his seed dripping down your thighs, strangled noises caught in his throat as he rode his high.

You relaxed your body when he pulled out of you, laying down with your stomach against the mattress, crossing your arms under your head for support. Changgu threw himself by your side, facing the ceiling and panting, looking fucked out already.

"Jealous wolf, aren't we?" You tapped his chest, provoking him

"Shut up" he chuckled

"How many girls did you fuck in this bedroom anyway? You were quite popular with the ladies back in high school. I bet they all died to be in Yeo Changgu's bedroom" you mocked a dreamy-girly voice.

"Do you really want to talk about who I fucked in high school?" He chuckled.

"Well, someone had to get laid, right? Since I couldn't because someone told boys to stay away from me." You smirked at his embarrassed expression

"Hyunjin is such a snitch, he was never good enough for you" he rolled his eyes and looked away.

"And who is? You?" You scoffed

"I didn't hear you complaining when you were screaming against the pillow just now"

You slapped his chest and he laughed loudly

"Jerk" you mumbled.

"Guess you can go back to your pretty boy out there", he said in a teasing voice, "if you're still interested, that is".

"So cocky, aren't you?", he laughed at your mocking expression.

"Maybe. But we still have festivities to attend".

"Unfortunately".

You got dressed in comfortable silence and after a few minutes, you were good to go. Changgu stood by the door and smiled at you before opening it and waving for you to walk by him. As you walked out, a satisfied smile took over your face and you only hoped people wouldn't notice the smell of sex on you too much. You and Changgu parted ways and for a second you let the whole tension of your body relax during the holiday. Just for a while.

[thinkingaboutyoungroyals]

Falling For You But You Are Worlds Away: Chapter 1

Summary: After a close call with a reporter that resulted in Simon getting hurt, Linda makes a difficult and heartbreaking decision. Meanwhile, Wilhelm returns to Hillerska, hoping to at least rekindle his friendship with Simon, only to find that even that was no longer possible.

Title inspired by Taylor Swift's "Come Back, Be Here."

Note: So... after several weeks of obsessing... I finally did it... I finally wrote Young Royals fanfic. And, I really shouldn't because I have Grad school and a part-time job and I barely have time to breathe.Speaking of that, I probably won't have a consistent update. There might be times when I disappear for several weeks. Please be patient and understanding with me, I'm still trying to balance school and work.

AO3 link

It was supposed to be a normal day of running errands – a trip to the grocery store, dropping off mail at the post office, and maybe getting ice creams as a treat on the way home. But, no, Simon should have known better than to think that his life would somehow go back to normal during Christmas. After all, the prince had denied his involvement in the viral video and Simon had broken up with him to give both of them some space. This all happened only a week ago.

But, even after all that trouble and heartbreak, here he and his family were, being chased down their own street by paparazzi with their stupid cameras and fake sympathy.

“Simon, won’t you tell us your side of the story?”

“Is Prince Wilhelm lying? Are you in a relationship?”

“Mrs. Erikkson, how did you react when you found out your son may have been involved with the prince?”

“Don’t say anything,” his mother hissed in Spanish, clutching Simon and Sara’s arms tighter against her side.

The plastic bag of groceries was digging into Simon’s skin and he wished he could adjust his grip but he didn’t dare slow down. Those hyenas at his heels could catch them and he didn’t want to give them that satisfaction.

But, then, Sara let out a startled scream. A reporter had grabbed her arm, making her drop the groceries. Clementines rolled out of the bag and onto the pavement.

And, just like that, Simon saw red.

“Let go of her!”

He ripped his arm from his mother’s hold and lunged at the reporter, pushing him away from his shaking sister. The reporter, a middle-aged man who had probably been doing this for a long time, released Sara. But, before Simon could pull her away to safety, searing pain exploded at his cheek. He tasted the blood before he even realized what had happened.

His mom and Sara screamed.

The other reporters began to yell at the first one. Things like “What is wrong with you?!” and “Fuck, you can’t touch our sources like that! We’re gonna get sued!”

His name was being called. It sounded like Sara.

But, Simon, feeling dazed and tired, just stared up at the bright blue sky. He didn't even realize he had fallen to the ground. It was a nice day, though.

It should have been an ordinary nice day.

 .....

“Thank you, officer, we really appreciate your help.”

“Just doing our job, ma’am. Please don’t hesitate to call us over if you see any more suspicious individuals around your home. We’ll send someone over, immediately.”

“Thank you.”

Linda bid the police officers a good day and shut the door. With them gone, she finally lowered her mask and allowed the weariness of the day to manifest in her bones. She leaned back against the closed door, letting out the breath she had been holding.

No matter how many times she had dealt with the police, it never failed to make her exhausted. She should be used to this by now.

When she and the kids still lived with Micke, it wasn’t uncommon for neighbors to call the cops to complain about her ex-husband disturbing the peace. Mostly because he was yelling at her and the children. Sometimes, even hurting her. (He never touched the children. Linda never let him. The one and only time he almost laid a hand on Sara was finally when Linda finally gathered her children, important documents, and a few meager possessions and fled into the night.)

Linda believed that they were past all that. That in this new life she built for herself and her children, they would never have to call the police to their home or worry about their safety ever again. But, after what happened to Simon today, she could no longer hold on to that dream. Not for the time being.

She knew what she had to do to keep her son safe, even if it hurt her. Even if Simon would resent her. She hoped he wouldn’t. That he would see that she was doing this for him.

Taking a deep breath to calm herself down, Linda straightened her shoulders, lifted her head, and began to make her way back to the living room, where she could clearly hear her children bickering on the couch.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Sara asked her brother.

“I’m fine,” Simon answered, sounding annoyed. “He didn’t even hit me that hard.”

“You could have hit your head!”

“But, I didn’t.”

“You should have left him alone.”

“He touched you!”

Sara pressed her lips together and looked away as she dabbed ointment to her brother’s bruised lip. Simon flinched, which made his sister’s lips quirk to an amused smile.

But, despite her children looking seemingly okay, joking around and teasing each other the way they always did, Linda couldn't stop looking at that dark mark marring her son’s handsome face. 

Clearing her throat, she stepped into the living room.

“Mi amor, how are you feeling?” she asked, sitting on Simon’s other side.

“I’m fine, mama,” he replied, immediately. “It’s just a scratch, it will heal in a few days.” He grinned. “It makes me look badass though, right?”

Sara snorted. “More like reckless.”

“A reckless badass.”

“Mi amor,” Linda interrupted, gently, not wanting them to start bickering again. “There’s something I need to talk to you about.”

Simon straightened up, looking serious. Linda’s chest felt heavy as she took his hand in hers and stroked it. Sometimes, she wished her children were still small and had no other care in the world except for what candy they could get at the grocery store that week.

“It’s about school,” she began.

“I’ll transfer back to Marieberg,” Simon said, misunderstanding where the conversation was going. “I don’t mind. Sara can stay at Hillerska, she has friends there now, I’m sure she’ll be fine. Besides, Rosh and Ayub are excited to have me back.”

Linda shook her head. “I don’t think you should go back to Marieberg either.”

At that, Simon’s brow furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean? I should go to another school? There aren’t any others close by.”

Linda sighed as she looked her son in the eye. “When the… video… first came out...”

Simon flinched and looked down at his feet.

“... I thought about how to… protect you. Especially after what happened today-.”

“Mama, I can handle it,” he interrupted, still unable to look at her. “I was fine today.”

“No, you weren’t,” Sara interjected. “You got punched.”

Simon glared at her. “They’re just reporters, I can handle them.”

Linda squeezed his hand. “It’s not just the reporters, Simon. It’s also… the others. Remember that boy from the other day? He followed you home! He could have hurt you!”

Simon's eyes flashed in anger at the memory. “But, he didn’t, you drove him away. And I would have been fine, I could take him.”

“That doesn’t stop me from worrying!”

Linda ran a hand through her hair, frustrated and cursing her son’s stubbornness. Unfortunately, that was one thing he inherited from Micke.

“Anything could have happened and I can’t protect you! Not at school, not at the grocery store, not even here at home! And do you know what that does to me?! I worry about you every time you’re out of my sight, Simon!” 

Unbidden tears brimmed at Linda’s eyes but she refused to let them fall. She had to be strong. She was making the right decision.

“A few weeks ago, I called your Tia Elena. She already knew what happened, the news reached them...”

“Oh, God!” Closing his eyes, Simon groaned and fell back against the couch.

“… and she actually suggested that… you go to live with her for a while.”

Almost immediately, Simon’s eyes snapped open and he sat up. “What?”

“I wasn’t sure, before, because I don’t want you to be away from us. But, after what happened with that boy from the other day and the reporters today… I think this is the best thing for you.”

“To send me to America?! That’s the best thing for me?!”

Simon pulled his hand away from her hold and stood up, presumably to stalk off to his room.

Linda tried to blink away the tears. “Simon, mi amor, please! This is the only way to keep you safe!”

“You’re sending me away! From you and Sara and my friends! My whole life is here!”

“It’s only until this all dies down, I promise. You can transfer back to Marieberg next school year. But, just for this term. Please, Simon.”

She watched Simon’s stiff back as he processed her pleas.

“W-What about a visa?” he asked and the hope in it broke her heart. “Don’t I need one of those? And they take time, don’t they? By the time they process it, school’s gonna start and I still have to travel and-.”

“You have an appointment with the U.S. Embassy the day after tomorrow,” Linda interrupted. “Your Tia Elena took care of everything. She even sent some money along to help with the fees.”

“Oh.” Simon’s shoulders slumped in defeat. “W-Would they even have room for me?”

“There’s only her and Ana now ever since Ricardo left them. And she says you can work at her store to earn some extra money, if you want.”

From the corner of her eye, Linda spotted Sara, who was unusually quiet. Her daughter was staring at her brother, her face unreadable. It was difficult to read Sara these days. But, Linda hoped that her daughter understood why she was doing this.

Sara didn’t want to leave Hillerska and that was fine, she had gone ahead and applied for that Grant to be a resident. But, even if Simon applied for a Grant too and became a resident, he would still get chased by reporters. He would still get recognized and followed by creeps and people who wanted to do him harm in Bjarstard. But, in America, with Linda’s older sister, he could be safe from the scandal.  

“Is there really no other way?” Simon asked, softly.

Getting to her feet, Linda moved towards her son and wrapped him in her arms.

“Mi amor, I know this is difficult for you. It is for me, too. I want nothing more than for you to stay here in Sweden with me and your sister. But, I want you to be safe. I want people to stop stalking you and bothering you about something so… traumatic. You don’t deserve that. You deserve to go to school and live your life in peace. In America, no one knows who you are. You can live normally again, go to school, and even… date someone new.”

Simon flinched in her arms and she regretted her words.

What Simon had with Wilhelm was truly special, something for the books, the kind of love story you often watch on T.V. and read about in books. She had never seen Simon as happy as he had been when he was with the prince, even if they thought Linda didn’t know. (Of course, she knew! She was his mother!) It was only a shame that their story ended in a tragedy that not only broke her son’s heart but also brought negative and unwanted attention onto his life.

“Simon, please,” she begged. “Just for a few months, I promise, mi amor. And, then, you can come home and life will be back to normal, I’m sure. Please.”

Time felt like it was slowing down as they stood there in the middle of the living room, Simon slowly breaking in her arms and Sara only watching helplessly.

Finally, her son let out a breath. “Okay,” he said in a soft voice. “I’ll go.”

Linda burst into tears and buried her face against the fabric of Simon’s orange sweatshirt.

Despite her own heart breaking into pieces at the thought of being away from her son, she was also so incredibly relieved.

 ......... 

The Christmas break was too long, in Wilhelm’s opinion.

He spent most of it making required public appearances, sitting in on council meetings, and attending royal parties. He went about his duties like a robot, his emotions numb and something in him broken. His mother thought he would get over it if she threw enough things at him to keep him busy enough to not think of Simon. But, obviously, it didn’t work.

Simon was the first thing on his mind when he woke up in the mornings and the last thing he thought of before he slept at night. He had tried texting but his texts went unanswered. His calls would result in just ring after ring after ring until voicemail picked up. He spent many hours just scrolling through Simon’s Instagram, not seeing any new posts. Rosh, Ayub, and Sara had all blocked him so he couldn’t even see any posts of Simon, if there were any.

During the yearly Christmas party hosted by the Royal family, it was normally Erik who had to socialize and make nice with all the nobility and distant relatives who came. But, this year, Wilhelm had to do it. And it was fine, at first. He managed to remember some names and those he didn’t remember, he managed to sidestep with a polite “sir” or “ma’am.” But, then… But, then!

His mother introduced to him the daughter of a Duke whose name he couldn’t remember. With the way his mother smiled and practically pushed the girl to his side, Wilhelm knew exactly what she was doing. It ruined the rest of the party for him, as well as that poor girl’s Christmas. Wilhelm was so annoyed that he ignored her when she tried to make conversation. Eventually, he caused her to break into tears when he bluntly said that he didn’t care who designed her dress.

The Queen tried to scold him, called him a disgrace, and demanded that he get himself together. Wilhelm only shot her a blank look, excused himself, and left the party.

There were no more attempts at setting him up after that.

So, when Christmas break ended and it was time to return to Hillerska, he was relieved. He dutifully packed his things, including the small Christmas gift he got for Simon. He was hoping that even if they couldn’t restart their relationship, they could still be friends. Wilhelm would take anything Simon was able to offer him right now, even if it wasn’t what he wanted.

“Your Royal Highness,” Malin called through the door. “You’re supposed to be at the church in ten minutes.”

“Thanks, Malin!” Wilhelm called back to her.

The prince looked over his appearance in the mirror one last time, making sure his school tie was tied properly and his jacket free of lint. Not that Simon would care about those, but Wilhelm wanted to look his best, for once. He even got a haircut over break. He wondered if Simon did, too. He couldn’t wait to see him.

Feeling the anticipation brimming inside him, Wilhelm made his way out of his room. He joined the others in leaving Forest Ridge to head to the church. Ahead of him, Henry and Walter waved, pausing to let him catch up to them.

Despite their initial impression on Wilhelm, they really did mellow out the more he got to know them. And when the video came out, they were the only ones who didn’t look at him weirdly (at least, not blatantly to his face) and never once asked about the video. They even texted him a Merry Christmas over break. He would take their company over August’s.

And, speaking of the devil, there was his traitor of a cousin now, pushing through the other boys to get to him. Wilhelm quickened his steps, not wanting to get caught in a conversation. He had successfully avoided him during the Christmas party at the palace after giving firm instructions to Malin and Johan to ensure that he didn’t get close to Wilhelm.

Luckily, his bodyguards were most likely doing exactly that as Wilhelm made it to the church and slipped into a pew without August catching up to him. Henry and Walter slid in after him, chatting about their holidays.

“Wonder what they’re singing this time,” Walter wondered aloud.

“Hope it’s something good,” Henry added.

Wilhelm only smiled, his annoyance at August finally melting away and replaced by excitement to see Simon and hear him sing again. Christmas break was too long.

Finally, the whole church had filled up and the Headmaster signaled for everyone to be quiet.

The choir entered.

Wilhelm spotted Felice and gave her a small wave. She had remained a great friend to him throughout the break.

As the choir began their song, Wilhelm scanned the heads, looking for that familiar head of curls. Someone else was doing a solo this time, a girl he didn’t know and her voice was nice but it wasn’t Simon. Why wasn’t Simon doing the solo?

Wilhelm couldn’t even hear the song or decipher the lyrics. His eyes desperately scanned all three rows but he couldn’t spot Simon.

Where was Simon?!?! Did he miss the first day of school?!?!

But, Sara was just a few pews ahead. She wouldn’t leave home without her brother.

The excitement that had earlier filled him turned into fear.

Did Simon quit the choir?!

Not caring about how it looked, Wilhelm scanned the pews across from them and the pews behind him, trying to spot those curls. But… he couldn’t see them. Not one strand.

The choir had finished singing now and the Headmaster had stood up to welcome them to another semester, go over the rules of the dorms, and list the school administration’s expectations from their students.

All of it went over Wilhelm’s head.

And, finally, they were dismissed to go to their first class of the day.

Wilhelm shot up and, muttering apologies to Henry and Walter, made his way out of the pew. He ignored the “hello’s” sent his way and hurried to the front.

Sara and Maddie were chatting with each other as they made their way down the aisle, all excited smiles and talking about how wonderfully Felice sang.

“Sara!”

The girl slowed down and froze upon seeing him. He saw the anger flash in those normally calm eyes. Then, she turned her gaze away and walked past him.

Wilhelm was not giving up.

He turned around and gave chase. “Sara! Sara, wait! I just need to ask you something.”

“I have nothing to say to you, Prince,” she seethed, not stopping.

He hated to do it but he gently grasped the arm of her school jacket. ���Please, I need to ask you. Where’s Simon?”

Sara pulled her arm away, glaring at him. “Why do you ask?”

Wilhelm swallowed. “He didn’t sing with the choir. And I can’t find him anywhere and I just-.”

“He doesn’t go to Hillerska anymore.”

Wilhelm’s heart stopped. “What?”

Sara shrugged, turned on her heels, and walked away. Maddie shot Wilhelm a pitying look before hurrying off after her.  

His chest felt tight. And it seemed like there wasn’t enough air for him to breathe.

Simon... left?

[dykeninthdoctor]

“ironhusbands, pre relationship, focusing on them in their first year of college and being like rhodey really realizing how young tony is” and “sweater sharing”

“Have you heard–“

“Did you see–“

“He went to Rob’s party–“

The whispers are carried to him on the wind, full of rumors, sometimes lies, sometimes truths.

Jim doesn’t care. He knows Tony Stark–the heir to the Stark empire, son of the legend, Howard Stark–is on campus, but he doesn’t care.

There’s no reason for him to.

The kid is 16, apparently, a prodigy for his age, which Jim could’ve guessed, and he gives zero shits about his education.

Jim hasn’t heard anything about the kid going to classes; only about parties, and girls, and sometimes, the whispers mention boys, too. They call Stark a charmer, a slut, a flirt, and worse.

Maybe Jim cares a little bit.

Stark is 16, and he already has a reputation, one that scares Jim.

“Oh my God, did you see how much he drank last night?” a girl says, eyes wide in a mockery of surprise.

“He never seems like he’s drunk, though,” her friend says.

Jim frowns.

“Maybe it runs in the family,” the first girl teases, and then they’re both laughing, walking in the other direction.

Jim frowns harder.

-

He goes to a party the next chance he gets.

Stark is there, in the center of it all, holding court like a prince standing on the backs of his adoring subjects. He’s sprawled across a sofa, legs draped across the lap of a girl whose hand is resting on the inside of his thigh, head in the lap of another girl whose lips are staining marks of red across his jaw.

Stark’s eyes are glazed, the smile he wears is taped on, and Jim realizes with a sinking feeling that it’s all a mask. A mask hastily built, a mask with cracks that Stark uses alcohol to fill, so that no one can see the emotions behind it.

Jim doesn’t know how, or why, but he can.

“A toast,” Stark slurs, raising the plastic cup in his hand, “To dear ol’ dad, who sent me to this lovely institution.”

A cheer goes up around the room.

Stark drinks.

Jim’s moving before he realizes, shoving his way past people, fighting to get to Stark, snapping sharply, “C’mon, Tony, let’s go.”

To his surprise, and fear, Stark gets up and takes his hand without second thought. Jim tries not to think about why.

When he takes Stark outside, the kid–because God, he’s just a kid–looks up at him with a raised brow and a smirk made of plaster. “We’re gonna do it outside? You’re into exhibitionist shit, huh?”

And then he’s on his knees in front of Jim, and Jim’s trying not to throw up.

“No–shit, no, please stand up, Stark–“

“What?”

It’s the confusion in his voice that finally does it, and Jim’s retching into the bushes that line the house behind them, coughing up bile.

He hears the clumsy motions of Stark getting to his feet, feels a small but calloused hand on his back, sees Stark’s face–eyes wide, lips parted in a small o, the face of a kid–and then throws up more bile onto the leaves.

“I’m sorry?” Stark offers quietly, and it’s so different from the brassy, loud, slurred voice of the prince Jim saw only minutes ago.

“How old are you?” Jim asks. It’s not what he meant to say, but as Stark’s eyes go a little wider, he knows he needs to know the answer, because it’s not 16.

“I’m almost 15.”

Jim tries not to throw up again.

-

He takes Stark back to his dorm, with its single bed and tiny cork board with pictures of Momma Robbie and Jeanie tacked up, with the single poster of a galaxy taped to his wall and the precarious stack of textbooks on his desk.

Stark drowns in his clothes, the knitted sweatshirt hanging off his shoulder, revealing a collarbone littered with hickeys, the sweatpants hanging low on his hips, showing bruises the shape of fingers pressed into tan skin.

“Why?”

The question rings out in the silent room.

“Why what?”

“Why are you being…like this?”

“Because you need this,” Jim says.

Stark just looks at him, his chest rising and falling with exaggerated slow breaths, his eyes blinking slowly, his hands clenched in fists at his sides.

“C’mon, get in bed.”

When Stark doesn’t move, Jim freezes.

“No, Stark–not like that. I’m not gonna do anything with you–to you. We’re not doing anything. You deserve a safe place to sleep. I’m gonna do homework, okay?”

“Okay,” Stark says quietly.

When he falls asleep, curled around the only pillow in Jim’s bed, he looks even younger.

Jim makes himself a promise.

A promise to protect Stark.

-

The next day, when he wakes up with his face pressed to the pages of his physics textbook, and his bed rumpled but empty, he realizes protection is not what Stark wants.

Too bad, Jim thinks. Too fucking bad.

-

It’s harder than he thinks to find Stark; even if the kid doesn’t attend classes, there aren’t parties during the day.

The whispers don’t tell him anything, and today, they’re about him.

“He went home with him, just like that–“

“Have you see him around before?”

“Stark just listened to him–“

Jim ignores them.

He goes to his classes, he takes notes, he tries to focus.

He also thinks about where Stark might be hiding.

-

He doesn’t have to think too hard; Stark’s sitting in his dorm when he gets back after his 5:00 lecture.

The door was locked, but Stark didn’t seem to have any difficulty with that.

“Hi,” Stark says.

“What the fuck,” Jim says back.

Stark shrugs. “You were nice to me. What do you want for it? Money? A reputation boost? We can pretend to fuck, if you don’t want to for real, just so that people think you got some.”

“What do I want for it?” Jim repeats.

“Yeah, payment.”

“I don’t want anything.”

“C’mon, everyone wants something,” Stark says, and the way his eyes avoid Jim’s, despite his casual pose and even more casual tone, tells Jim that he’s scared.

“I don’t want anything, Stark.”

It’s a lie; he wants to know who hurt Stark, he wants to give Stark a hug, he wants to protect Stark.

He also wants Stark to let him out of choice, rather than obligation.

“Okay,” Stark says.

Okay, Jim thinks.

What he says is, “You can stay while I do my homework, if you want.”

“I talk a lot,” Stark tells him. “I’ll bother you.”

“I have a little sister, you can’t be worse than her.”

“Oh.”

So Stark stays.

-

“What’s your name?”

“Jim.”

“Oh, that won’t do at all. What’s the rest of it?”

“James Rupert Rhodes?”

“Rupert?”

“Don’t start with me, Stark–“

“Tony. My name’s Tony.”

“And my name’s Jim.”

“Not anymore, it’s not. You’re Rhodey now.”

-

“What are you doing?”

“Physics.”

“No shit, Sherlock, I meant the equation. You calculated wrong.”

“I did not.”

“Put it in the calculator, it’s not 6.78, it’s 6.57.”

“You did that in your head?”

“I’m not just a pretty face.”

-

“How old’s your sister?”

“She’s 10, but she’s 7 in that picture.”

“That’s your mom?”

“Yeah, I took that picture of them at the lake near our house.”

“She…she looks nice.”

“She’d like you.”

-

“What’s your major?”

“Aerospace Engineering, so yeah, I’m a rocket scientist.”

“Damn, how’d you know what I was gonna say?”

“You’re predictable, Tones.”

“Tones?”

“Well, if you’re allowed to give me a nickname, shouldn’t the favor be returned?”

“I…yeah.”

-

So Jim becomes Rhodey, and Stark becomes Tony, and sometimes Tones.

-

Rhodey realizes a few months in that Tony doesn’t need protection.

Tony knows how to protect himself, with a sharp quip or an even sharper smile.

What Tony needs is love.

So Rhodey makes a new promise.

-

After Rhodey has to drag Tony out of another party, after slurred words become quiet apologies, after Tony falls asleep in his bed again, Rhodey calls his momma.

She tells him to bring Tony home for Christmas break.

-

In Rhodey’s eyes, Tony’s never looked more alive than when Momma Robbie convinced him to play Scrabble with her and Jeanie.

-

“That boy needs love, James,” Momma Robbie tells him, a mug of tea cradled in her hands.

“I know, momma.”

“You gonna make sure he gets it?”

“Pretty sure I already am.”

-

When the clock strikes twelve on New Years, Tony tries to kiss him.

They’re on the roof, the stars above them reflecting in Tony’s eyes, and Tony tries to kiss him.

“No, Tones,” Rhodey says softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I love you.”

“Just not like that?”

Tony’s voice is broken glass, slowly tearing Rhodey’s heart to pieces.

The lie is a knife to the chest.

“Just not like that.”

Tony nods quietly.

They don’t share a bed that night.

-

When they get back from break, after a silent car ride, Tony asks suddenly, “Wanna see my workshop?”

It would’ve been simpler to ask if Rhodey wanted to see his heart.

There’s no other to answer to give than yes.

-

It’s a beautiful mess of chaos, the only description befitting the place where Tony breathes life into wires and gears and lines of numbers.

Rhodey doesn’t know what to say other than, “Thank you, Tones.”

Tony hugs him for an hour, and then spends three more showing him each idea, and then uses another two to get lost in a new project.

Rhodey realizes that this is where Tony truly comes alive.

He’s a kid in a candy store, a bird taking flight, a genius at work.

And he’s beautiful.

The knife, the lie, digs harder into Rhodey’s chest.

-

Tony has bad weeks, and worse weeks, where Rhodey doesn’t see him for days, but it’s okay.

It’s okay, because Tony always comes back.

-

Rhodey learns about Howard during a bad week, and about Jarvis on a good one.

He learns about Maria on a good week, and about Ana on a bad one.

Tony brings him pieces, and Rhodey starts to build the puzzle.

Some pieces are missing, and will probably always be missing, but it’s okay.

Rhodey will love him no matter what.

And slowly, Tony is starting to believe that. Rhodey can see it in his eyes, in the way his mask comes off, in the way the cracks become windows for Rhodey to look through.

-

The summer is long. Tony calls him some weeks, emails other weeks, doesn’t talk at all for most of them.

The worst part is not knowing if he’s okay.

But Rhodey takes what he can get, and gives as much as Tony will take.

-

When they get back to school, there are fresh bruises on Tony’s arms. Rhodey gives him a new sweater from Momma Robbie and Tony wears it like its armor.

They get a dorm together, officially, and most nights, Tony ends up in Rhodey’s bed, in Rhodey’s arms.

Watching him wake up is the best part of Rhodey’s day.

It’s hard, to keep lying, but Tony’s still just a kid, and Rhodey won’t be another person to use him.

So he loves him in the ways he can, and it’s enough, because it has to be.

-

The whispers are constant, always talking about them, but this time, Rhodey truly doesn’t care.

He knows better than the lies they spread.

-

“Rhodey–Rhodey, wake up,” Tony whispers against his chest.

Rhodey grunts. “‘m sleeping.”

“It’s raining.”

“So?”

“I wanna go outside.”

It’s the look in his eyes that does it, the wonder. Rhodey’s on his feet before he even realizes it. “Okay, Tones.”

They dance in the rain on the roof, and Tony laughs, and Rhodey looks at him, and sees nothing but happiness, and feels nothing but love.

-

Rhodey kisses Tony on his 18th birthday.

Maybe it’s wrong, but the way Tony laughs against his lips and twines his arms around his neck is nothing but right.

“I thought–“

“I lied, genius, I had to,” Rhodey whispers, ready to let go, but Tony just holds him tighter.

“Thank you.”

“For lying?”

“For loving me the way I needed.”

[vastanxc]

03:00 am

Three o'clock in the morning was when the magician, now in her own apartment, walked to the kitchen to make a cup of tea so she could sleep. She had become independent from the Titans once she was of legal age. It was a small but comfortable apartment that paid the league for her services and she was happy about it. She liked to be independent... be alone.

- Nice place.... but haven’t you thought of a change of color?

She did not turn to see the man. By now the voices of Gotham's family were already very familiar to her. As with that strange habit of appearing out of nowhere.

- You all say Damian is the rudest, but he always knocks on the door before entering a house.

- The spawn knocks "your" door, devil. Besides, you must thank me that I am not Bruce. That pervert would stare at you until you woke up.

By the time she turns. She saw Jason sitting on the sofa, reading one of her magic books with his legs on the coffee table.

- “Great book of magic” my ass... where is the trick of how to get a rabbit out of a hat?

- Page 134.

Jason look at her for a few seconds and look for page 134... just to find the trick he had said.

- Well... I’ll be damn.

Raven tried some of her tea and sat down at the kitchen table.

- Why are you visiting me at this hour?

The lonely member of Batman's family got up and walked to the table and sat in front of her.

- I have a problem with magical things... and I wanted to use the bathroom.

- What happened?

- I ate a bean burrito and it sat me wrong.

Raven sighed and thought that Damian was right, sometimes.

- I mean the magic, Jason.

Jason took some pictures of his jacket and showed them to the magician to see.

- Where did you see these symbols?

- I found them under Arkham, in the sewers.

- What did you find?

- An Alf doll that was missing his head.

- ...

- Oh, and a plumbing system that connects to the asylum morgue. It seems that the new warden does not like to point out that his patients are dying, and to cover it up. Throw the bodies in the sewers of the city.

Raven was left thinking about what she had heard and tried to relate it to the symbols in the photos.

- Any ideas?

- I know the brand. It's from a cult that worships a demon who wears mortal skins to enter the mortal plane.

- That's beautiful.

- I presume that the warden is a member of the cult and marks them so that some member collects the bodies once they are in the sewers.

- Sounds crazy... chances are you're right.

He said while removing the photos.

- Do you want something to drink?

- Aren't you going to kick me out of your house?

- Why would I do that?

- It's 3 a.m.

- You are like this, there is not much to do about that. Would you like some coffee?

- Sure... Ok.

Raven, with her powers, lit the coffee maker to make a cup for her visit.

- Can I ask you a question?

- I will not change the paint on my walls.

- Okay... can I ask you another question?

- What do you want to know?

- How come the spawn hasn't woken up and isn’t attacking me with his toy sword?

- He’s sleeping.

- I ask again How come the spawn hasn't woken up and isn’t attacking me with his toy sword?

- ...

- Was the session in bed too rude?

- You're all idiots... everyone bothers us with that.

- Did you force him to dress up as an Arab dancer to move his hips?

- I PUT A SPELL ON HIM!

Jason was silent for a few seconds and then said.

- The pot broke. Your carnations are going to die.

- Yes, I've noticed...

Again, with his magic. Raven cleaned everything and served the cup of coffee to her disrespectful guest.

- Thank you.

- He hadn't slept in almost five days. But when I got to locate the smugglers, he wanted to go get them, but I didn't allow it. I slept him with a spell, sent the data to Mr. Pennyworth and told him about Damian…

- Mmmm...I see.

- Yes... I don't like to do it, but sometimes it's the only option I have.

- Don't blame yourself. Alfred does the same with Bruce... although shooting a dart at the old man is a little exaggerated.

Raven laughed a little for what he had said, and they continued in silence.

- Are you and the spawn going seriously?

- He proposed to me a few days ago.

- Wow... did he bring you someone's head in sign of their eternal love?

- He gave me a ring, Jason. Just like any man does.

- Well you can't blame me. Just because he got quieter, doesn't mean he got normal... marriage?

She nodded

- That boy doesn't give a shit... does that mean you're going to lay eggs some of these days?

Something else was heard breaking and Jason said.

- Oh... poor camellias. Who will have water that satiate their thirst for life?

- Mr. Pennyworth told me that of all the Robins, your talent for humor was only comparable to your insolence.

She said as she again cleaned up the mess she had made.

- Alfred knows about his Robins.

- We plan to have a family... we've talked about it.

- That's good. More than for you for Alfred and Bruce. Alfred has always wanted the Wayne family to continue and Bruce… That idiot needs to be a grandfather.  It would be the only normal thing he could have. Even Damian wasn't normal.

- I have been told stories of Talia…

- Yes... the Al Ghul...

- What about you??

- Me what?

- Do you have anyone to introduce us for Christmas dinner?

- No... it's not my style.

- Oh, come on Jason. I've seen you and Barbara. Why don't you try?

- No... I'm very fond of Barbara… enough not to screw up her life.

Raven did not expect that answer from the masked young man. He took her by surprise and preferred not to continue with the subject.

- It would also be very uncomfortable to bring some of my "couples"

- I don't think it's that bad...…

- I've been with all the girls on the team, Raven.

Raven was frozen in the face of confession.

- ... ¿Kori?...

- Yes... ooooh yes... The red one is one of my top 10.

- Are you kidding me?!

- No, I have the burns to prove it.

The girl covered her mouth in surprise from what she had heard.

- How could you?

- Have you seen her naked? She is hotter than my motorcycle ... and I love my motorcycle!

- But Richard...

- He doesn't know... and that guy doesn't have a face to criticize Kori at all...

- Who else?

- Well... I had a rub with Stephanie...

- ...

- And the spawn's mom.

- You're crazy. Did you know that? Totally mental.

Said the magician, incredulous of what she heard.

- If Damian finds out about this...

- He knows

- WHAT?

- The remote control broke...  my condolences.

- WHAT DO YOU MEAN, HE KNOWS?

- I told him once.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

- I slept with your mom.

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

- What did he tell you?

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

- You didn't sleep with her. She used you. I saw my mother use men and women as sex toys several times to make up for my father's absence. So, don't brag about it... you were nothing but a talking dildo.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

- ...

- To tell you the truth, it is one of the kindest things he has ever told me.

- …

- Ok... Well, I have to go. I have to find a cult leader and blow his brains off. Thank you for the coffee and introspection of my sentimental life. I'll make an appointment for next week. See ya…

He said as he wentout, throwing himself out the window.

- The inability to use a door...

She said the magician turning off the lights to go back to her bed next to the young man who had been sleeping all this time. Before putting himself back next to him, she stroked the young man's hair with his hand and smiled.

- I can't believe you're the most normal.

[feverinfeveroutfic]

chapter thirty two: that man is on fire

heh. what a way to end souls of black and go into veritas, gang. probably the most explicit chapter of them all, but not enough to warrant a change of rating all together, though. really big smut warning regardless 😘

Sam rolled over in her bed and for a second, she swore that she was still within her dream about the mysterious man. She had hardly any memory of the dream whatsoever but all she knew was he stood there before her like a shadow. She could only feel him over her body, right over her feet. But she swore that she had dreamed about him: it was the first time in a while she had dreamed about him, and the first time in an even longer while where she had dreamed about him and she couldn't recall any other part of it.

She caught the soft strumming of acoustic strings on the edge of the room and she lifted her head for a better look at Alex there. His hair was a disheveled frizzy mess and the minute tuft of gray stood up over his brow like a little radio antenna. The gray morning light through the window on the side of the room cast a shadow over one side of his face, as if he wore half of a mask. He reached down to the low stool right next to the chair and he picked up a glass of what looked like liqueur.

“Happy Hanukkah, Samantha,” he greeted her as he raised his glass to her. “Early Hanukkah, actually—it starts when the sun goes down tonight.” She had hardly any memory of him walking in that room. She also had hardly any memory of him being there in the room with her the night before.

“Alex, what are you doing here?” she asked him as she reclined up on her elbows. The bed sheet covered her otherwise bare chest: the only clothes she wore under the covers were in fact her panties and some little shorts that she had dug up upon going down the Central Valley to stay with her mother for a bit before she returned up to her father's house. Alex sat there in the chair with his guitar cradled in his lap and that glass in one hand.

“Alex—” Sam sputtered. “Alex, why are you drinking at this time of the morning?”

“This is iced coffee,” he replied as he held the glass close to his lips.

“Oh—I thought it was liqueur,” she confessed.

“Nah, your mom's got that dessert wine but there's none of that here.” He took another sip from the glass and then he set it back down on the stool next to his feet. He sat upright once again and ran his fingers through his inky black hair: the morning light shone upon the little tuft over his forehead so it resembled to an icicle. He strummed the fine nylon strings of that black acoustic guitar some riff that she hadn't heard of yet.

“Damn it—” he muttered, and he tried it again.

“Damn it!”

“What is it?” she asked him as she sat upright and pulled her knees up towards her chest.

“Eh, Greg threw this riff out at me before we left for L.A. last night,” he explained. “It was a bass riff, though, so I'm not sure as to how to translate it over to an acoustic guitar. All I know is you go like this—”

He plucked the strings with the point of his pick: it almost sounded as though the strings were skipping. He played it for about five seconds and then he turned one string sideways.

“I feel like it'd sound better plugged in,” she remarked.

“Agreed,” he said as he clasped his fingers across the fret board to silence his guitar. His eyes drifted down to her chest: she looked down herself, at her nipples as they poked out a bit from underneath the bed sheet. She looked up at him and the little bit of skin exposed from his button up shirt. Two buttons undone and it was all she needed to see for herself as he leaned over for his glass of iced coffee.

“There's another band from New York that we haven't met while on tour,” he told her.

“Oh?” She raised her eyebrows at that.

“Yeah. They're called Death. I just think about the Cherry Suicides' early Christmas card to us—the mention that they might be marketed as a 'death metal' band. That's where that term came from—from a band from New York called Death. I hear they're cool guys, though.”

“Bands from New York to be as such,” she noted and he shook his head about before he took another, much heartier swig of coffee.

“Also, your mom definitely has the hots for me,” he said in a low voice.

“Not surprised,” she confessed with a shrug of her shoulders.

“She has the hots for me. Of all people.”

“Again, I'm not at all surprised, Alex.”

“Why's that?” he asked her as he took another sip of the iced coffee and she let the sheet slide down her breasts a bit.

“Whoa—easy there,” he teased her with a wag of his finger.

“You know, I just woke up,” she scoffed at him.

“Still—easy there,” he teased her. “You also didn't answer my question. Why are you not at all surprised?”

She could see it in his eyes, especially once she tugged the sheet back up over her chest. She knew what he was thinking by a mere glimpse into those deep eyes.

“Why are you not at all surprised?” he asked her in a near whisper.

“Because she's an erotica writer,” she replied, and he squinted his eyes at her before he took another sip of his coffee.

“There's gotta be more than that,” he said, his voice still down in a near whisper.

“There is nothing more than that, though,” she retorted.

“Samantha,” he said.

“Alex,” she echoed him.

“Samantha.”

“Alexander.”

“Samantha Rose.”

“Alexander Nathan.”

“Rose.”

“Nathan.”

“You're good,” he said with a wink.

“So are you!”

“Anyways, Samantha, how long has it been since you've seen Joey?”

“A while. Since we came back from the tour. I think about him.” She froze. “Why?”

“Just curious,” he replied in a small voice and he took another sip of coffee.

“I sent him a care package,” she told him.

“Mmm?” He raised his eyebrows as he downed the rest of that iced coffee.

“One of my Death Angel shirts, some sugar cookies, and a little piece of—erotic art.”

Alex held the glass before his chest and he looked down at her chest once again, albeit from clear across the room. He set the empty glass down on the stool right next to him once again.

“Whipped it up right on the spot,” she continued, “I know he'll be pleasantly surprised upon seeing it for himself. A nice li'l aphrodisiac for Christmas and for the new decade if he so wishes. It's art, after all. It can't hurt anyone.”

“By the way, did you know coffee is an aphrodisiac?” He raised his eyebrows at that.

“Oh, yeah?” she asked him.

“So is chocolate. Tomatoes, oysters, chili peppers and I think—some teas are, too.”

“Mother Nature knows what we want,” she said to him in a singsong voice. “All the plants and creatures.”

“Speaking of plants—I got to reading about this sort of thing, just 'cause you and Louie's whole thing about poison plants and whatnot—there's a plant called 'angel's trumpet', and it's an aphrodisiac right before it kills you.”

“Hot,” she said.

“Apparently, it's also a member of the nightshade family,” he continued, and he raised his eyebrows at that. The mention of nightshade made her stop right in her tracks. She sent that care package to Joey and she hoped he had gotten it in the meantime. “I also read about the Wandering Jew, too—the plant, that is.”

“Is that an aphrodisiac?” she asked him with a sly smirk.

“Nah. Makes you itchy, but—” He shrugged. “You know. That word right there is all contingent on your interpretation of it.” He then gave his hair a slight toss back with a flick of his head. “Apparently, that plant also helps with stomach pains. And it changes color when exposed to pollutants.”

“Makes you itchy, helps your tummy, and tells you when shit's about to go down—that sounds like you and me,” she said, to which he chuckled.

“And it's called the Wandering Jew, too,” he added as he plucked at the strings again. He gasped and his face lit up.

“What?”

He plucked again and that time around, he had the riff in the palm of his hands. It wandered and ground around and tempted fate, and it all coalesced right there on the acoustic guitar upon his lap. Sam lightly clapped her hands together and he nodded his head and gritted his teeth out of excitement.

“That's our titular track!” he declared.

She slid out of bed and hurried over to him with her arms wide open. He cracked her a nervous smile and he kept his gaze locked onto her face.

“Something else is titular!” he added, as she embraced him right there.

He looked down at her chest, at those pointed nipples and her bare stomach.

“You like what you see here, Alejandro?” she teased him.

“You did just wake up after all,” he pointed out.

“Hey, now, it's usually you with the wet dreams,” she hit back at him.

“Girls can get 'em, too—so I'm told anyways.”

“How do you find out about these things? You seem so innocent.”

“Samantha, as I've said before—when you're this smart and you grow up isolated and sheltered, you're going to have questions as you get older and things below the belt start doing their thing. You've also seen me on acid—and you've seen me drunk. I'm not even close to innocent.”

Sam lowered her gaze to his chest and the guitar cradled upon his lap. She lifted her gaze back up to his face, right as he bowed his head which accentuated the depth of his eyes.

“I know what you're thinking,” she told him in a hushed voice.

“What am I thinking?” he teased her.

“You're thinking what I hope you're thinking.”

He snorted at that.

“Do you know what I'm thinking?” she asked him.

“I hope I do?” he said as he lowered his gaze to her chest again.

“You like what you see here?”

He reached up and undid a couple more buttons on his shirt, which in turn showed off some more of that milky skin on his chest.

“I should ask you the same thing,” he said in a husky voice. He then set the guitar down on the floor next to him, and he undid the rest of the buttons on his shirt so he exposed his whole upper body to her. His waist was slender but slightly thick still.

As far as she knew the two of them were alone at the house together.

“You're hot,” she noted. “I never thought anyone would be so hot before but you definitely are.”

“So are you,” he retorted back to her.

“You wanna go on the bed or here on the floor?” she asked him.

“The bed—I want to be surrounded by you and—everything that makes up you. I want you to suffocate me for being so bad.”

He let his shirt dangle wide open as she led him back to her bed. She lay back down on the warm spot there on the mattress.

“What'd you say that plant was?” she asked him as he climbed onto the bed next to her. “The one that's an aphrodisiac before it kills you?”

“Angel's trumpet,” he repeated. “Yeah, I'd like for you to touch my angel's trumpet.”

“Not if I make you touch my angel's trumpet first,” she teased him as she opened her legs for him. He showed her a devilish grin as he loomed right over her body.

“Alex—Alex—are you drunk?”

“No—why would I be drunk?” he asked her, confused.

“Well, 'cause we usually fool around when you've had a few,” she pointed out.

“Well, what if this time around, I wanted to be sober? I want to be sober and relish in it.”

He leaned over her body: his skin was smooth and soft to the feeling. His body itself was so warm from the coffee, and from sitting there nestled in a corner with his guitar.

“You smell of coffee,” she whispered to him.

“Good—” he whispered back to her in between kisses on her lips.

He was on top of her. Their whole thing was that he lay underneath her. But she let him kiss her on the neck and all over her chest. She felt herself tightening up when he sat upright: the crotch of his shorts hung right above her own. A pair of mere pieces of fabric separated themselves from each other.

Alex peeled off his shirt all the way and she eyed his body.

“You still wanna draw this absolute wreck here?” he asked her as he pointed to his bare chest.

“You are not a wreck, baby,” she insisted. “Far from it. Look at you! Look at how gorgeous you are! I wanna make love to this beautiful body and then draw it up.”

“We're gonna be doin' more than making love, dearest Samantha.”

She reached up and ran her fingers down his chest and his stomach all the way down to his shorts.

“So soft,” she noted.

“Soft!”

“Quite soft. Like caressing silk. Silk compared to the iron making up your arms.”

He inched back so he was between her legs. He peeled back her shorts so her bare thighs and hips were exposed to him.

“Gonna be playing around with an angel's trumpet right here,” he joked with a little gyration of his head. He ran his tongue over the top row of his teeth as he peeled back the fabric some more.

“Eight ball in the corner—” He showed her a devilish grin at that.

Those lanky fingers slipped inside. Sam gasped at the sensation there. She gazed into those deep eyes: those eyes as cold as the snowstorm that stranded them at Lake Tahoe for a whole night and that little tuft of gray hair high above his brow like what awaited her right between his legs.

Where was this side of him all along.

Alex bowed his head and brought his lips back to her bare chest once again. She closed her eyes. He kissed her and fingered her at the same time: the aroma of coffee was still very much riddled about him. To think that there was a poison plant in existence that got the motor going right before it killed its victim.

He ran his hand down her sides to feel the full curvature of her body.

“Mmm—”

“You like what you feel here, big boy?” she teased him.

“And you think I have nice curves,” he teased back at her between kisses.

“You do!”

She ran her hands over his lower back and all around his waist.

“Milk and cookies,” he breathed into her ear.

“Milk and cookies, baby,” she breathed back to him.

“Poison garden,” he added.

“Poison garden!”

He buried his face into her chest.

All so deadly and so hot at the same time.

Joey burst into her mind right then. The venom of which he crawled out from himself. Alex emerged from the cold earth and the rustling leaves of the Wandering Jew.

It was going to be something going into the New Year caught up between these two young men. She remembered Joey was literally going to turn thirty the next October. Him at thirty and Alex at twenty two the next September.

Two young men on either side of her in this strange messy game called life. And all she had for either of them was her paint brush and the work of her hands.

She reached down to Alex's waist, down his shorts. He whimpered a bit at the feeling of her fingers upon him.

He then fell right onto his back, right next to her. Breathing hard, he opened up his body for her.

“What?” she asked him, out of breath herself.

“Get on top of me,” he said in a broken voice.

“Get on top of you.”

“I want you to do it to me,” he begged her as he pushed his shorts down his legs. “I picked the bottom. Make me into a man, Samantha. Turn me from a bad boy to a man.”

She sat up and tossed her hair back from her neck before she climbed on top of Alex's hips.

“Gotta be careful,” he advised her in a broken voice.

“As long as neither of us are sick, we've got this,” she assured him.

“No, I mean, I didn't bring protection. I didn't think you'd want a nice wake up call.”

“We'll be okay, I promise. Something about the rawness, too.”

She was already down over him. Lucky for the both of them, her bed had no springs. She kept her knees flat on either side of him.

“Mama—” he blurted out.

He pinched his eyes shut and he gritted those prominent teeth. A part of her wanted to hold onto that gray streak but she knew it was too small right then. All she could was focus on it as she moved about. Her knees flat on the surface of the bed. Her legs wide open for him.

“Mama—Mama!” he gasped.

“You like that, baby?” she teased him.

“Let me just—I—what—what the hell—FUCK—”

The only thing she could see was the look of euphoria on his face. She could only feel him, and she could only feel him more with each and every gyration. He let out a soft groan.

She lifted up just in time, and by the mere skin of her teeth.

“I oughtta spank you for that,” she teased him.

“For what?” he asked her in a broken voice.

“For coming.”

“For coming or for coming?”

“Both.”

“Shit,” he said in a broken voice.

“I'm gonna let you touch my girls first,” she said as she crawled over his body again. Her bare chest loomed over him. “Go ahead.”

“My fingers or my teeth?” he sputtered as he ran his fingers through his jet black hair.

“Whichever one you want, baby.”

Those calluses caressed over her bare skin and then he hoisted himself up onto his elbows for her. Those lips. That tongue. Her skin. His skin.

She thought about the times she put her lips around Joey and also Greg. It was only fair for him to have at it as well as her.

Before he got any further, she crawled back around him so she was wide open for him.

“Jesus Christ—!” he sputtered.

“Drink up, baby doll,” she croaked back at him. “Drink your poison.”

She brought her mouth down on him and he returned the favor for her.

For a few seconds, they had coalesced better than that acoustic riff he had played for her. Drinking up each other's milk and having their cookies at the same time in the poison garden.

His body was warm, almost too warm the more she felt him up.

He was so warm, away from the cool appearance of his face and those deep set eyes. So warm as if he ran a fever.

He was running a fever with each lick on her skin. She was running a fever with each caress of his flesh.

A fever that burned with the both of them like a fire. That man was on fire right underneath her.

He gasped and whimpered with the feeling. She groaned in her throat with each run of her tongue. She was going further than she did with Joey, even though she owed it to him as well. She was going further than she did with Cliff, too.

Alex let out a soft moan from the back of his throat. She lifted up right as she had a small taste.

Sam rolled over, off of his body and back onto the bed. She hoisted herself up onto her elbows and she gazed right into his face.

His eyes rolled into the back of his head and he parted his lips for her. Sam crawled over his body and planted a little kiss there on his lips.

“We did it, baby,” she breathed to him in a broken voice.

“We—fucking did it. Quite the way to go into the New Year, that's for sure.”

“Happy Hanukkah,” she said.

“Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, and welcome to the Nineties, Samantha.”

“Hold still,” she encouraged him, and she rolled off of the bed and headed over to the other side of the room for her journal and her pencil.

“Oh, I see,” he muttered in a broken voice, and then he frowned at her. “Did I—did I cream on you earlier? When you riding me like a horse?”

“Nah—I'm gonna have more cream in my coffee than you gave to me back there.”

Still completely nude, Sam stood there with her journal right before her. The sole light came from the window on the other side of the room, but it was enough for her to sketch out his euphoric, slightly sleepy face and his disheveled jet black hair, the latter of which was spread out on either side of his head like the tentacles of an octopus. His shirt was wide open, all around his otherwise naked body.

Beautiful milky skin. The way the light caressed over his delicate waist: even after a month, he still had the vampire bite she gave him next to his belly button.

She would have to use her lighter and harder of pencils for the shading around his hip bones and the lower part of his belly.

“Yeah—yeah, curves in all the right places, Alex,” she teased him.

“I oughta just get you for that.” He was slightly scorn, and she giggled at him for that.

“Remember, I said I should spank you,” she recalled as she ran the side of the graphite over the outline of his hip.

“Spank me—bite me—fatten me up—and you're the one who's baffled by me,” he teased her.

“It's all 'cause I wanna please you as well as me,” she confessed to him. She then set the journal back down and she crawled back onto the bed next to him. She put her arms around his waist and he put his arm around her.

Her heart with Joey. Her ventures with Alex. She had definitely ascended to the level of the art vixen at that point.

And then she woke up. She was back at her mother's house and for all she knew, it was the morning before the first night of Hanukkah.

Alex was gone.

“No,” she muttered. “He can't be—he can't be the mysterious man. There's no way.”

It was so real to her. She swore that he was there right above her. He was right there. He was right there with his fingers right between her legs. He did it to her and she returned the favor to him.

They made love to each other's bodies.

She was sure of it.

Indeed, she shifted her legs. She was still damp right in between there. Still damp as a sponge. Still sore from where he fingered her with those calluses. She was still completely naked.

She spotted her journal still in place there. She climbed out of bed and opened it to that page.

That drawing still there, and yet she didn't sign it because she would come back to it. The look of sexy euphoria on his face. The way the sketchy graphite accentuated the shape of his body. The way the bed sheet draped all around his hips and thighs, and the way his open shirt made him even more gorgeous. She could still feel him. She could still feel his warmth. His fever.

How she yearned to feel Joey again, however.

Two men with raging fevers, about to rage even more for her. These two men were about to burst into flames for her.

And she had the art to prove it as well.

But she made the promise to never tell anyone about the whole affair between her and him. She knew he wouldn't say anything about it to anyone, either, especially since her mother had her eyes on him all the while. She couldn't hardly speak about Joey with him, either, albeit not without a distant look on his face.

She couldn't tell either one about the other. She couldn't anyone about either of them.

Not a soul.

[juiceboxesheadcanons]

I finally figured out how to send asks on mobile :D Got any headcanons for how Illumi, Hisoka, (plus gon and Killua if it's not too much trouble) would decorate for Christmas? I just think that would be kinda poggers UwU

YESSSS I DO ACTUALLY! CANT WAIT TILL CHRISTMAS GUYS! I decided to just pin this post until the end of December so if anybody else wants any Christmas headcanons I’ll just add it here and I did put extra characters/headcanons because of that reason and if you want me to add anybody else just send in a request about it! (also dont mind the random juiceboxes I just left them out bc I don’t feel like adding new ones when adding random hc’s.) THANKS SO MUCH FOR REQUESTING! I’ll finish illumi and hisoka later but my food just arrived so I’m gonna go start on that first :)

Hunter x Hunter Christmas Event! This Event Includes The Main 4, The Adult Trio, The Phantom Troupe, The Zoldyck Family, The Freecss Family, And The Minor Characters!

Illumi

🧃 rich kid is gonna be the one with either nothing but a tree or literally is gonna go to the point of fake snow on the stair rails

🧃 it’s either nerf or nothing for this man. either go all out or don’t go at all mf

🧃 he likes Christmas except the fact it’s cold, girlie isn’t a fan of cold weather

🧃 he’ll probably do the jazz with the gingerbread cookies tho :’)

🧃 but yeah his tree’s gonna look like the ones in the movies with like all the height and the little balls with the perfect star on top bc babie is perfect so his tree should be too ✨

🧃 he says he doesn’t want anything but if you actually get him something he’ll be so touched-

🧃 he maybe will take a day off of fuck knows what to spend Christmas with anybody- 

🧃 okay we all know he’s spending Christmas with hisoka and we can’t change that 

🧃 poor baby he just wants to be held and feel the feeling of warmth again so he is a fan of hot chocolate

🧃 will not go out in the snow but he will go with you or anybody that wants to go outside and play

🧃 he isn’t a fan of dressing up but he’ll take his s/o out on a Christmas date (I will do a mini scenario/hc’s for this if you guys want.)

Hisoka

🧃 I feel if he wasn’t a pedophile or mass murderer they would hire him to work as a mall Santa Claus.

🧃 he’d probably do a color coded thing and the whole house would be that color

🧃 this mf would buy a gift for himself-

🧃 he wouldn’t do anything to his room and the biggest ick about him I have is that he has nothing in his room but a bed, dresser, desk, lamp, and nightstand like only the necessities so he wouldn’t do that much.

🧃 if he had a kid he’d 100% to elf on the shelf until they were like 16 years old and even use his nen ability to secretly make them move so the kid would believe in the magic for a while

🧃 he’s forcing illumi to come over cause he doesn’t want the little shit to be alone and sad on Christmas.

🧃 he got illumi a present

🧃 not a fan of those childish Christmas films but he’s pretty fond of the romance ones tbh

🧃 he literally never ends up under the mistletoe because everybody’s avoiding it so they won’t have to kiss the scary guy-

🧃 he can COOK asf so he’ll def make a feast for him and his s/o or just friends :)

Killua

🧃 he’s gonna be the most fun with all this, he want everything either blue, purple, or white. Literally he hates doing shit and not perfecting it (nikki minaj??)

🧃 he’d be the one to act like a mom saying “stupid I’m not buying that it’s too expensive!” and then you wake up with it under the tree- “you thought you weren’t getting it didn’t you?” I stg he is literally EVERY SINGLE MOTHER ON EARTH and it’s not even funny.

🧃 he wants to go play in the snow and make snow angels but he won’t say anything until you say something

🧃 hc that his ears and nose turn kinda red when it’s cold

🧃 he’s literally cooking a red velvet cake and there is no point in stopping him

🧃 he probably isn’t a morning christmas guy, he’s all for around 11-12 gifts so then you guys can bake cookies and play in the snow a ton because you got some energy stored up

🧃 this mf wants chocolate robots for Christmas and probably at one point in his life asked Santa for a new family but he didn’t deliver ig. (Illumi probably wrote him a fake Santa note saying that his family was better than everybody else’s.) 

🧃 his parents forced him to go sing those fucking Christmas songs when they know damn well those kids sound ratchet.

🧃 he ALWAYS ends up under the mistletoe with somebody. Even if it’s unintentional it always happens. 

🧃 a giant fan of wreaths for some reason? He puts one on every door.

Gon

🧃 his favorite holiday is Christmas so ohhh boy this is gonna be magical-

🧃 red green and white colors. you cannot change his mind literally that is what colors are in his head as soon as he hears the word Christmas.

🧃 the tree’s gonna be HUGE and he’s gonna want to decorate every room in the house. The bathroom, your room, his room, and yes he is that one neighbor with the fucking big ass lights outside-

🧃 he is a firm Santa believer he doesn’t take criticism. 

🧃 literally is going to wake everybody up at 6 fucking am to open gifts and everybody is gonna do it because can we really resist his pouty face? no. 

🧃 the joy on his face opening any gifts make it a fucking can of baked beans makes it all worth losing about 3-4 hours of sleep :,)

🧃 he probably wants toys for Christmas, I get he’s 14 but hxh doesn’t exactly have too much social media so he wouldn’t be trying to grow up too fast

🧃 he would get matching sleepwear for everybody except for some fucking reason it actually will look cute and he won’t just settle for a ugly ass tight suffocating elf sweater.

🧃 he believes Christmas is about spending time with your family and probably donated his old toys to a center so kids who didn’t have toys got some :)

🧃 he’s gonna make sure everybody has a good time, like every single person. it’s a  main protagonist thing I guess but I mean I applaud him for it.

🧃 doesn’t quite ever end up under the mistletoe with anybody but if he happened to he’d giggle and kiss their cheek in a friendly way.

Leorio

🧃 he’s gonna reuse the same fucking plastic wrinkled tree he’s been using for 12 years because the tree prices are “insane” even on sale.

🧃 he would be the one a Walmart ringing the little bell and forcing kurapika to sing with him because he needs the money.

🧃 his house is the one with rainbow colored little balls and it’s so ghetto but at the same time adorable

🧃 he is literally that one neighbor who gets the most snow and it’s the snow that’s basically ice and will take around 6 good days to shovel up.

🧃 maybe wont shovel out the snow too early because he wants killua and gon to have fun. 

🧃 he wants money for Christmas and nothing more, but kurapika tells him money isn’t a real gift and to ask for something else

🧃 even not being a morning person, he LIVES for morning Christmas.

🧃 probably eats snow.

🧃 he would try to cook and it might work actually

🧃 miss girl is plopped right down right next to gon watching elf on the shelf movies

🧃 he wears the Santa hat and is lowkey twinning with kurapika-

Kurapika

🧃 this bitch is gonna make you wait all fucking day to open gifts 😀

🧃 he thinks afternoon/nigh Christmas is the best. On Christmas eve he would literally sit down and watch movies with killua and gon for exactly 2 hours while leorio waits outside because kurapika wants him to sound like there’s somebody on the roof and kurapika can put the two children to bed and get a break for the rest of the night to finish gift wrapping and food making

🧃 hella good at wrapping gifts- commercial wrapping mf.

🧃 he thinks a white color coded Christmas looks best 

🧃 he’d give killua and gon like 150$ to buy Christmas stuff for their rooms and that’s lowkey just him trying his best he doesn’t know what the fuck else to do he isn’t a mom-

🧃 he might teach the other 3 traditional kurta songs his clan and him sung on Christmas.

🧃 he’s twinning with leorio cause he got the reindeer ears I mean get it ig- 

🧃 leorio is BEGGING kurapika to let him get a couple of drinks and kurapika’s like “YOURE GONNA STAY SOBER AND YOURE GONNA LIKE IT BITCH.”

🧃 he may or may not boys whatever they asked for and accidently on purpose use leorio’s credit card-

🧃 he just wants everybody to be happy, but can we blame him? it’s Christmas why wouldn’t he?

🧃 okay all wholesomeness aside he’s making leorio shovel the driveway.

Chrollo

🧃 he thinks this is like a romance thing

🧃 he’ll probably steal a gift or 2 for you ya know

🧃 I feel he’s the mf to have a black Christmas tree or a white one theres no in between

🧃 cookies are a yes

🧃 just go watch a classic romance movie one with him, it’ll give ya clear skin ma

🧃 he won’t decorate outside but inside will look magical asf

🧃 I think personally he’d wear a santa hat

🧃 probably would make a big phat juicy meal just for the two of you and he’d get gifts for the troupe if they cared about celebration

🧃 I feel the troupe isn’t big on that holiday stuff but if you felt like celebrating with him he’d be over the moon

🧃 he got that big tree though for no reason, he also takes the tree down the day after Christmas

🧃 Probably would give you a gift everyday leading up to christmas

Feitan

🧃 He probably was forced to sing carols and ring the bell on christmas as a kid-

🧃 he doesn’t really care much and won’t care to decorate but may or may not get you gifts

🧃 if you get him something he’ll have a small smile behind his mask 

🧃 he doesn’t wanna be in the cold just make some hot chocolate and watch a movie with him jeez

🧃 probably will wear reindeer horns if you insist

🧃 his favorite holiday is halloween but christmas is nice I guess

🧃 he probably would spend his entire day if he didn’t have a s/o with shalnark seeing who could figure out the christmas word find fastest

🧃 he’s gonna just see if theres anything he could steal for anybody

🧃 doesn’t bother with snow at all if there is snow he just doesn’t care to go outside when we got a perfectly nice house

🧃 firm believer in christmas isn’t about family it’s about gifts

🧃 he’s gonna get you something expensive though

Alluka

🧃 alluka the sweet princess is literally the neighbor that has the biggest brightest lights

🧃 she probably had her big brother killua come help her

🧃 her christmas tree is pink and white, and she decorated every square foot of her house

🧃 Christmas is her favorite holiday :)

🧃 she get’s everybody gifts and for christmas she wants some toys maybe to go shopping or something

🧃 snow angels are a must 100%

🧃 firm santa believer doesn’t take criticism.

🧃 she’s gonna be so happy just to spend time with people honestly even if nanika comes out she’s just gonna be happy

🧃 her gingerbread houses look absolutely amazing like please become a house builder sis-

🧃 she’s wearing matching sleepwear with killua and gon, probably doing a elf santa and reindeer theme which is adorable

🧃 this is the best day of her life and I’m living for it.

machi

🧃 This bitch is not a fan of anything

🧃 she want’s to paint those little christmas ball things and yeah

🧃 probably says she doesn’t want anything but some jewels or bracelets would be nice 

🧃 also isn’t a fan of snow but her house doesn’t get much to be honest

🧃 for the troupe she gives them like some bakery idem she made because why not that’s her family after all

🧃 probably wears fluffy socks on christmas and they’re like really adorable she just doesn’t realize it

🧃 she probably got something extra for shizuku idk I head canon them to be friends :)

🧃 she wont steal anything probably will buy or make it

🧃 omg machi stitching little christmas sweaters and socks omg that’s the highlight of my mother fucking day

🧃 her house if she decorates, is red and white.

Pakunoda

🧃 omg this beautiful woman I love so much

🧃 her house is white and blue and it’s all pretty

🧃 she has lights and stuff but doesn’t like overdo it or anything because she isn’t that jolly but might decorate a tree or two

🧃 she donates to animal shelters on christmas and literally it’s so cute

🧃 will probably get the troupe something specific that fits them or that they like because she isn’t trying to get somebody useless shit

🧃 for her s/o she’ll go out in the snow with them if they’d want

🧃 she buys the best gifts like that one aunt you don’t wanna give kisses but they always come through except we do wanna kiss her asf

🧃 she’ll wear machis socks that machi made her :,)

🧃 probably is the best person to have on christmas because just look at her

🧃 cuddles are everything just let’s just hug her while she watching a movie yes

Shalnark

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Phinks

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Uvo

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Shizuku

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Mito

🧃 yes

🧃 she thinks christmas is all about family

🧃 def an adult who says that they don’t want anything

🧃 she loves gons little handmade gifts or cards though

🧃 she decorates the house whatever way gon would want to cause you know he’s the only kid in the house

🧃 so basically her family has like a huge feast and everything and the food slaps

🧃 she makes gon wear this adorable sleepwear thing cause she thinks its cute

🧃 won’t let gon near any gifts before christmas

🧃 she’ll bundle gon up like a burrito if he wants to play in the snow which is adorable

🧃 she’s the mom like “you thought you wasn’t gonna get that huh? oh you welcome baby.”

Kalluto

🧃 this small little boy omg

🧃 he loves christmas but nobody really pays attention to him so he’s a little sad

🧃 with the troupe if they get him something he’ll be so excited but you won’t be able to tell :(

🧃 he’ll give people stuff because to him this is probably the most spirt he gets

🧃 he might just go sit out in the snow to enjoy the scenery 

🧃 he enjoys christmas eve most because of the vibes

🧃 doesn’t believe in santa but you know he’ll let alluka believe in it

🧃 probably a bit hurt killua wants to celebrate with alluka but not him tho

🧃 will ask killua if he wants anything def

🧃 might get illumi and milluki something if they let him

Milluki

🧃 he is always cooped up in the zoldyck house so they probably don’t decorate or celebrate but he still enjoys it

🧃 if illumi or something gets him a new game he’ll pretend he doesn’t care but he’ll appreciate it :)

🧃 he loves snow like yes

🧃 he might ask his siblings for something because his bitch ass parents wont buy him anything

🧃 yeah he doesn’t rlly give af but like yes

🧃 he probably just wants a new game or figure 

🧃 he might go online and talk to his online friends to see what they got and watch hauls on yt

🧃 probably the mf to want something that arrives in like july like damn pick something else

🧃 wont get anybody else anything sadly

🧃 we stan milluki here

THATS IT FOR NOW!! IM PLANNING ON ADDING SHALNARK, PHINKS, UVO, SHIZUKU SO IF YOU HAVE ANY OTHER CHARACTERS YOU WANT JUST SEND IN REQUESTS! 😁🧃 this event does not include nsfw.

[suckmyballshoney]

Could you maybe recommend some good fics?

Okay mom, this is the list of the best things I’ve read ! And because I am incapable of choosing only a few, there is like 100 fics in there, it’s crazy. I’m a fucking mess, it’s a fucking mess, there are all amazing fics and I have no self-control so take it all 😂 (please appreciate it, I spent so loooong on it ! 😂)

For anyone reading this, here’s an important note I need to make before we start : this only comes from my opinion, with ships I like and my own preferences in themes. If one of your fics or a fic you liked is in there, well good for you because I loved it ! And if it’s not, it doesn’t mean that it’s bad or anything like that, just that I haven’t read it or that I missed it yesterday when me and my tired eyes went through the historic of the THOUSANDS of fics I’ve ever read in the fandom, it’s a fucking lot and I surely missed some.

Also, some fics are locked so if you don’t have an account, you won’t be able to see them.

I tried to organize it, I really tried, and for the sake of safety I’ll note the NSFW ones, if you go read, take care of yourself and read at your own caution, because I can read pretty much about anything doesn’t mean anyone can and have too so check the tags every time ! Take care of yourself and enjoy the ones you read ! 💙

Emotional fics

Like ribbons by heroics (Dan/Max, NSFW)

I will always be there for you, brother by someone_worth_racing_for (Nico/Carlos, NSFW)

And in the end I will seek you out amongst the stars by mandzilkos (Charles/Max)

Bitter/Sweet by Tianvette (Seb/Mark)

Night Bus by EverythingIsAJokeIncludingMe (Lando/Carlos)

Black Over Red (the death of a King) by onehonor

not magnificent by secondlifetime

toffee by simplyverstappen (Dan/Max, NSFW)

terrible sting, terrible storm by singlemalter (Lando/Carlos)

I got everything at my fingertips (How can I resist when it feels like this?) by komkommertijd (Dan/Max)

Holding together what can not be held by Quagswagging (NSFW)

The spleen of monte carlo (and how to deal with it) by altissimozucca (Charles/Max)

Interlude/infatuation by toro (sapoeysap) (Alex/George)

I’ve not hate (that’s how I know I lied to you) by GufettoGrigio (Lewis/Nico)

Phantom limb by Charona (Dan/Max, NSFW)

(Dis)closure by Charona (Nico/Kevin, NSFW)

Under Greece’s stars by Lily_Anna (Lewis/Nico)

Hate is a terrible feeling by scarletred

Fluff and/or funny fics

be still my foolish heart by jorgelorenzo (Carlos/Lando, NSFW)

That's What Friends Are For by KyoukayKanata (Carlos/Lando)

Some Boys Just Wanna Watch The World Burn by onehonor (Lando/Charles)

you ('cause you feel like home) by maxverstappens

amor (la leche style) by toro (sapoeysap) (Carlos/Lando)

Nico’s Greatest Achievement by F1_rabbit (Lando/Max)

Mystery Man by simplyverstappen (Lando/Carlos, Dan/Max)

There’s love in this life, there’s no obstacle by Pericardiaca (George/Alex)

Drowned in oxygen by scarletred (Lando/Carlos, NSFW)

We’ll Always Be Okay by Thatsrightmyhype (Max/Lando, NSFW)

Tying Cherry Stems in Knots by WhiteWolfCraft (Lando/Carlos, NSFW)

And they were quarantined by scarletred (Charles/Max)

50 Sentences of Carlos and Lando by palalabru (Lando/Carlos)

The Day Kevin Magnussen Attempted Murder (and Fernando learned not everyone likes to be babied) by Quagswagging

You Say We're Just Friends (But Friends Don't Know the Way You Taste) by WhiteWolfCraft (Lando/Carlos, NSFW)

it's not that hard to open eyes that close when they couldn't have by circuitricardoporno (Lando/Carlos)

An analysis of inappropriate behaviour between teammates, featuring Lando Norris and Carlos Sainz Junior by WhiteWolfCraft (Lando/Carlos)

Darling, we’re a paradox (but I think we’ll manage) by altissimozucca (Pierre/Daniil)

Far away truths by raikkonen (armario) (Lando/Carlos, NSFW)

Thank you, Anytime by sensibleshoes28 (Charles/Max)

Game Stops and Spanish Restaurants by Anna_banana (Lando/Carlos)

Catch you when you fall by maxverstappens (Dan/Max)

soulmates (or: max has a love-hate relationship with coldplay) by altissimozucca (Charles/Max)

your love I’m lost in by maxverstappens (Lando/Max, NSFW)

Last night you were in my room (and now my bedsheets smell like you) by LostInSpace and MerlinSpecter (Dan/Max)

Abu Dhabi 2035 by Charona (Dan/Max)

A Drink Too Many, Or Maybe Less by ColdWhiteLight (Kimi/Seb, NSFW)

Oh, Sandman, bring us a dream by bonotje (Lando/Max)

So happy Christmas (back on the bad list) by toro (sapoeysap) (Alex/George)

You’ll pull at my neck and we’ll break what can’t be broken by grwyish (Charles/Max)

Set alight my skin (and I’ll melt like ice) by Directionless_Foray (Lando/Carlos)

irish spring 5-in-1 by Anonymous (Pierre/Daniil)

Others

Like Magic by Rizz07 (de-ageing fic)

Even though you know we fly (Don't call me angel) by Alexa_Plays (George/Alex)

Have You Come Up A Name For Your Chassis? By Asahi_9L1314

Rule 63 by WhiteWolfCrack (George/Alex, NSFW, genderswap)

I took the stars from our eyes and then I made a map by Directionless_Foray (Lewis/Seb)

kiss me under the light of a thousand stars by altissimozucca

if you wanna come back, it’s alright by raikkonen (armario) (Pierre/Daniil, NSFW)

F1 Rarepair Drabbles by raikkonen (armario) (NSFW)

Fringe contender by redpaint (Lando/Carlos, NSFW)

www.tumblr.com by legolasass

Lady, I need my dog back now…and my Nico too by Anonymous (Lewis/Nico)

A moment you need me to stay by circuitricardoporno (Lando/Carlos/Isa, NSFW)

McLaren Unboxed | The Papaya Boys | #2020 by legolasass (Carlos/Lando)

The Performer by theinanitor (Jenson/Seb)

spotlight on me and i'm ready to break  by Pericardiaca (NSFW)

The banterzone by groooovybaby

Lance stroll’s exclusive hallowe’en party by raikkonen (armario)

So, let’s dance (when we’re not supposed to be) by Directionless_Foray (Lando/Carlos, NSFW)

Long fics/series

Three Wishes For Verstappen by PoemAboutCitylights (Dan/Max)

Solar Flare by Tianvette (Jenson/Seb, NSFW)

Baby I'll Rule (Let Me Live That Fantasy) by komkommertijd (Dan/Max)

knife's edge by restless5oul (Charles/Max, NSFW)

In High School by Zig_Zag_F1 (Charles/Max, George/Alex, Carlos/Lando, NSFW)

Everyone’s shagging because I said so by Wellthisdidntgotoplan (serie, NSFW)

The Experiences of Blossoms by magic_one (serie)

New love old love by circuitricardoporno (serie, Alex/George/Lando, Lando/Carlos, NSFW)

Every colour illuminates by circuitricardoporno (serie, Lando/George, NSFW)

Bad baby by Directionless_Foray (serie, Charles/Seb, NSFW)

Max and Pierre by kakkakerssi (Pierre/Max, NSFW)

The five last fics of sirius (Alex/George/Lando, NSFW)

All Behind A Mask by JustAnotherF1Fangirl (Lando/Carlos)

Youtube AU by simplyverstappen (serie, NSFW)

Sons of the gods by EverythingIsAJokeIncludingMe

Falling and finding by Directionless_Foray (serie, Charles/Seb, NSFW)

Can’t go on without you by FadingDragon (Dan/Max)

Magic verse by simplyverstappen (serie, Dan/Max)

The higher we soar the smaller we appear to those who cannot fly by RosaNautica (Romain/Kevin, NSFW)

Ten Important Events In My Life by komkommertijd (serie)

Crowns by simplyverstappen (serie, NSFW)

Sebastian and Kimi raising the chaotic trio (aka a Highschool AU) by greeny1710 (serie, NSFW)

The Grid’s Apocrypha by singlemalter (serie, NSFW)

Quiet healing by Directionless_Foray (serie, Charles/Seb, NSFW)

Max and Lando by kakkakerssi (serie, NSFW)

Our families by greeny1710 (serie, NSFW)

French fics (of course I had to include that category)

Passer le temps by Jae_Universe

Dead Hearts by Laeana (serie)

10 façons de mourir by Laeana (serie)

Love is a seduction game by Laeana (serie)

Pffffiouuuuuu that is DONE ! So long 😂 MP/mom I hope you have enough to read for the next WEEKS !

All the writers mentioned above that have a tumblr are here and they deserve a fucking lot of recognition : @someone-worth-racing-for @onehonoramongstthieves @verstappened @nicorosberg @komkommertijd @bwoahtastic @havertzs @alphatoro @gufettogrigio @kyoukai-kanata @landonenorris @f1rabbit @shellhaeds @scharletred @palalabu @landolait @bottasvaltteri @sleepyverstappens @yxllowish @storm-in-my-teacup @rizz07 @redpaint @nxrrislandx @laeana @lilyanna13 and all the others that I didn’t find their tumblr account 😂

[brideofcthulhu10]

Behold another Lost Boys holiday special! It was between this and Valentine’s day, but honestly I love writing Christmas specials, its such a cozy time despite the high suicide rates, but lets not get into that. A BIG SHOUT OUT TO @imlostinsantacarla FOR HELPING ME EDIT MY FINAL DRAFT!

Fun Fact! My husband, David (yes, that is actually his name) actually does have the bah humbug hat I mention in the head canons. He’s a heavy metal goth so when I found it at the store I had to get it for him. And you just know if our David found that, he wouldn’t be able to resist it!

Christmas with the Boys

Alright, so the whole touchy, feely and mushy feelings that surround even the topic of Christmas time is not something any of the boys will ever openly admit to enjoying. After all, they see themselves as these bad ass brutal killers who thrive off of death instead of holding hands and caroling with the goodie goodies of this coastal town. 

Yet, it's challenging for them not to get sucked into the glitz and glam of the holiday season. Everything is a big deal in Santa Carla. Dia De Los Muertos, Halloween, Thanksgiving- everything! But especially Christmas.

Christmas in Santa Carla dwarfs the frenzy craze of Halloween. The entirety of the boardwalk is decked out with red and green lights that are tightly wound around palm trees, red bulbous bows are wrapped tightly around street lamps, the reds and whites of velvety fabric swirl down the posts, creating the effect of candy canes. All the store windows are painted to appear frosted, or covered with painted snowmen whilst several rooftops are covered with white felt in which mimics the texture and sight of snow. Even the boats in the harbour are all extravagantly decorated in a sea of lights that parade around brightly at night in every color imaginable.

Between the dates of the 30th of November all the way to the 24th of December the city of Santa Carla hosts a plethora of wondrous events in it's annual Holiday Festival. Large green, white and red kiosks are erected, selling a wide range of baubles and treats, from delectable chocolate coated rice krispy Santa Clauses, elf candy apples caked in a plethora of dark chocolate and peppermint, to a variety of Holiday hats, masks and even hand made costumes by the many local artists. Even hand carved candles in wondrous scents of pine, mint, or spice.

Currently, David possesses a black fur Santa hat which he acquired on a night out that boasts the words "Bah Humbug" proudly sewn over the front. It's the only holiday attire he'll even humor. Last time Marko attempted to place reindeer antlers on his head, David had set them on fire roasting atop a pan of chestnuts. Now it's not to say that he's a grinch persay. Rather, the complex and intense emotions that come hand in hand with Christmas can leave him perpetually indifferent at best, disdainful at worst. The whole occasion leaves him displeased. After all, he was an orphan who had been almost eagerly abandoned by his hooker mother left to fend for himself from the beginning, and  of course never met his father. Even she could not identify which of her many clients may have been responsible. Most of his mortal life he had lived as a street rat, barely making ends meet by picking the pockets of tourists and Santa Carla citizens oblivious to the true dangers of the lower side of town. The rich and uppity classes who often snubbed their entitled noses his way would never suspect as he lurks between alleyways, leaving them cornered at knife point. It was scarce that he ever did see a kind face in the sea of those who had little interest for anyone that was not themselves. Back then it was rather uncommon for anyone to step outside their own little lives, which led to most interactions, outside of the other boys, having been met with great hostility, thus he had learned to be just as equally hostile in turn. Even the mere thought of anyone suddenly dawning a false kindness due to a certain time of year simply agitated David. It rattled him to the very core in a way very few other things did. Why bother with the lies? Couldn't people just face the very basic fact that they weren't nearly as charitable as they often deemed themselves to be? I mean, the young man had seen firsthand a family having previously snubbed a dirty homeless man with appalled disdain at the sight of his muddied clothes and dirt stained skin, only to then begin volunteering at a soup kitchen to purge whatever guilt they carried on their conscience once the holiday season began. The whole ordeal was pitiful! Nevertheless, - more so for Paul and Marko's sakes than his own -, he did humor these traditions amongst the holiday's festivities. Ruining a good time just wasn't his style. Unless they started fucking singing.

Most traditions David could tolerate, some he even enjoyed slightly; although he would never be caught dead admitting something as embarrassing as that! However, he just couldn't stand Christmas carols! They were the bain to his immortal existence. The repetitive nature of these overly cheery jingles left him covering his ears lest they nest in his brain leaving him humming the same damn melody for weeks. This was the case because the dynamic duo of dumbasses were well aware of his hatred for Rudolph the Red Nosed fuckin' roadkill! Stupid red nosed abomination. 

“OOOOOOH-,” Paul begins with cheerful mischief.

“Don’t. You. Fucking. Dare.” David seethes through tightly clenched teeth, eyes screwed shut in indignance. 

Paul hesitates. He looks at Marko. Marko looks at Paul. Wicked grins of agreement spread wide like wildfire across their faces as their master plan comes into play. Full throttle. What’s more fun than annoying the shit out of David? One on the left, the other on the opposite side of the cave on the right. This was nothing but Divine perfection if you asked the two troublesome vampires.

“OOOOOH DASHING THROUGH THE SNOW!” Paul belted out at full volume.

“IN A ONE HORSE OPEN SLEIGH!” Marko followed in suit, the widest eerie grin plastered on his face.

“OVER THE HILLS WE GOOOO” Paul howled enthusiastically. 

“I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU BOTH!” David's voice hit a whole new octave it had never in all his life so far. All the while Dwayne had opted to vacate the room lest he be caught in the middle of the escalating madness with Laddie in tow. He loved these guys, but not enough to dive head first into their fuckery.

Paul thrives during the Christmas holidays! How could he not? The food, the punk rock covers of Christmas songs, the absolute babes prancing around the town in Santa hats under mistletoe?! He loved it all! You can find him sneaking under mistletoe with many sweet honeys on a constant basis, regardless of whether or not he's acquainted with them. Most do roll their eyes or laugh it off, but every once in a blue moon the guy will get a little lovin' from a beach babe in the Yuletide mood. What else could he ask for? You can bet he’ll run into the woods December first, and quite literally RIP a pine tree out of the ground to bring home like a wee carrot being plucked from the ground. The bigger the better! He may even drag Dwayne or Marko along with him if it's too big for him to carry himself. And all the boozy drinks he can concoct up? This boy is in his element! Mulled wine, spiked eggnog, candy cane vodka, butterscotch bourbon hot chocolate?! Yes! David straight up refuses to try anything that Paul creates himself (remember the concoction he made in Max's kitchen? Those poor goldfish....) which is also another reason why he has Dwayne help him. Or rather, the other boys insist the most responsible of them monitors the blonde lest he poison them with some sickly brew. That, and the fact that Dwayne's the least likely out of all of them to blow up the damn kitchen!

Dwayne is indeed the designated cook during the holiday rush, albeit a field even he tends to struggle. Avoiding the kitchen catching aflame, perfecting his craft lest he blow up the stove, leaving only a pile of ash in its wake. As previously mentioned, ever since the dreadful chain of events that lead to the unfortunate destruction of Max's kitchen, this raven haired vampire has attempted his hand at learning to use a stove properly: Although he often finds himself forgetting ingredients either in the midst of cooking or after the final product is done and he's taken a big bite. 

“Shit! I forgot the milk and eggs!” Dwayne grumbled with a mouthful of dry crumbs, a true disgrace of a cookie.

Paul always gives him crap for it of course.

“Oooh I just thought you were going for a sandy, dusty dry cookie kinda thing.”

"Yeah man, these taste like ass!" Marko would cough out in midst of choking. 

"And what, like you dumbasses could do any better," Dwayne retorts with a huff. Only Star manages to have any manners when testing his failed baking endeavors.

"Well I mean, the taste isn't that bad. Just a little dry is all."

"At least Marko wouldn't be choking to death." David would mutter from the darkest corner of the room, a little late in the conversation.

In all honesty, Dwayne's biggest motivation when it came to improving his skills was obviously Laddie. The kid never got much of a Christmas whilst living with his mom, so now that he was with the boys, he wanted to ensure that Christmas's were something that Laddie would remember for all eternity. Though granted, it is quite the mess when he was helping in the kitchen. But when the mini vamp grins from ear to ear whilst coated in flour and rapidly stirring an overflowing bowl of chunky cookie dough--the sight is too freaking cute!

Since Laddie joined the boys, they participate in Secret Santa every single year, which definitely includes Paul bursting through the entrance of the hotel as Santa on Christmas day. We won't talk about the fact that each year he almost falls flat on his face and swears, ruining the surprise for the kid. 

"Santa where are your reindeer," he'd question, to which Santa Paul scoffs

"Pff, reindeer, I don't need any fucki- Ow," cut off by a firm and covert kick to the shin from Star, Paul quickly changes his response. "Oh! Ho ho, well, you see little boy, Santa can fly too! On his, uh, uhm… magic motorcycle! Yeah, that!"

But it's okay because Laddie already KNEW (he figured it out a year or two ago after Paul's beard fell off not once, but three times), he just doesn't have the heart to tell any of them because, well Paul really gets into it. And he knows the others are playing along for his sake. But to be fair, Laddie would have to be pretty dumb to believe it was Santa. I mean, the beard Paul's wearing is hanging half off his face by this point! But anyway, just like Paul's style, the entirety of the goody two shoes schpiel is thrown out the window, replaced with sleeves that have been ripped off, muddy boots, spiked bracelets and his Metallica shirt in full view beneath his flared red coat. He calls this BIKER CLAUS!

Laddie is not a squasher of traditions! But there was the one time that David had to intervene when Paul and Dwayne thought it would be great to use Laddie as the star at the top of the tree. David practically had a heart attack. Well, that's impossible but it still felt like he was having one!  

“Ho ho ho! Now, don’t be a bitch, little David or Santa will have to give you coal.” Paul stated mockingly to David, brows furrowed. 

“Well, Santa,” David scolds, a wry smile developing on his face when setting down the eight year old now off to shake his presents beneath their behemoth of a tree. “You best be careful. You never know what's in those milk and cookies, hm?”

Each year Marko buys bird toys for the pigeons in the hotel. Well, buy is probably the wrong word. More like he liberates the stores of their stock. And then for the next six months, David has to hear the agonizing jingle of bells. David almost roasted one pigeon in particular that kept flying over him to drop the ball with a bell in it on his head. That was Paul's entertainment for the next five hours, hell, he'd try to find it if the bird lost it and give it back. Marko defends the pigeon. Between running through stores buying up surprises for his friends, he's helping Paul throw out decorations for the cave. The dollar store has some surprisingly unexpected treasures, allowing him to deck the fucking halls to the max. Tinsel here, ornaments there,  tiny light up trees to hide around the caves, a butt ton of cinnamon pine cones which he ends up throwing back and forth with Paul.

And Paul often steals his gifts or goes dumpster diving for any hidden gems. He forgets to take the tags off of them the majority of the time, which is always an indicator whether or not its new. Any time Star asks where he got them from he refuses to answer. Just gets up and walks away. But for David's gift? Well this lucky bastard has found coal in the dumpster and chucks it to David when he's not looking and he sighs deeply in disappointment because this is the third year Paul has done this. 

 "Huh? What? Who did that? Wasn't me. Somebody's throwing stuff."

Other than that he'll find a fat bag of charcoal and just tape the name David on it. David is certainly not amused. Dwayne will actually try to figure out what the others want, and has the sense to save the money taken from their previous meals. After all, they're dead, they wouldn't have much use for it anyway. He's not about to waste his hypnosis on some poor cashier. That would be a waste of time in his eyes. 

When Christmas did arrive the tree was piled with mysterious boxes crudely mashed and taped together with bows and ribbons underneath it. It's obvious which ones are from Star since those gifts are wrapped in neatly pressed paper, wound tight beneath curled ribbons that remind the boys of her hair. Marko often goes on a food run rather than allow them all to be subjected to a potentially charred turkey, no offense to Dwayne of course. So, with a table covered from end to end with copious bowls of gravy, potatoes, candied sweet potatoes, a beast of a turkey in the center packed to the brim with cornbread stuffing, the boys cram into their chairs knocking back beers and spiked cider. Keeping to their own traditions, after fattening up, they gather around the tree and play card games, just as they had over eighty years ago on that frigid night. David still slays them in poker, and Marko is an utter dark horse when it comes to blackjack. Paul insists they try Go Fish. No one ever wants to play Go Fish. Closer towards the end of the night Dwayne will slip away to Jasper's shrine and bring him a fresh glass of rum as well as unwrapping what he got him that year. While Dwayne is there, the other boys will join him - omitting Star and Laddie left unaware of the Lost Boy they'd never met - in celebrating the last hour or so of the Holiday season with their fallen comrade.

Although Christmas time is often about uncomfortable mushy moments and emotions that create deep, unfamiliar times for David. The entire ordeal becomes that for everyone of the boys and Star. But God forbid anyone who even mentions it! I mean, it's kinda obvious though considering he's spending it with the people he always called family, knee deep in traditions that are sentimental to himself and the boys. There's a fluster of emotions running rampant during this particular Holiday Season, and although the blonde brooding vampire decides to squint at it with skepticism he savors these moments, knowing like Jasper, it could all be swept away with a single ray of light or the foolish hand of a hunter. So as they sit, drunk, full, and laughing beside Jasper's grave he can't help but smile at the sentimentality of it all. Christmas is a pain in the ass, but… it's a pain he'll gladly sit through for his brothers.

[440mxs-wife]

Christmas Wishes

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Dean poked his head into your room to check on you. "Hey, sweetheart, you about ready to go? Baby's leaving in 20 minutes," he remarked.

"Yeah, just about ready," you replied. You went to your bathroom to grab your toiletries, such as shampoo, toothbrush, toothpaste and your hairbrush. You made sure you had enough warm clothes for the trip. You stuffed your comfiest sweaters, hoodies, jeans and fuzzy socks into your bag, then grabbed your warmest pair of boots.

You, Sam and Dean were each packing a bag to spend the Christmas holiday with your friends from the hunting world. Donna and Jody had rented a barn that had been converted into a lodge for everyone to stay in and celebrate. It was located a mile or two outside of town, north of Hibbing, Minnesota.

When Donna emailed pictures of the lodge to you and the boys, you thought it was the perfect place to spend the holiday. Sam and Eileen were on board right away, but Dean took a little more convincing. However, once he saw the fireplace and the kitchen, he folded like a house of cards and couldn't wait to get there. He kept jabbering on about all the baking that could be done in a kitchen like that, especially pie.

In the week or so before the trip, you could swear you heard him humming Christmas carols under his breath. You never said anything, though, just smiled to yourself. You were happy to see that he appeared to be letting go of some of the stress he so often found himself under. There was a spring to his step, a twinkle in his eye and he seemed to be smiling a little easier. You hoped that meant a new beginning for celebrating the holiday.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You've been hunting with the Winchesters for the past ten years, living in the bunker for the past eight of those ten years. You moved in after helping Sam and Dean take out a troublesome vampire nest. You found that you and Sam work seamlessly when researching cases, while you and Dean work best in the kitchen. It was nice to have Eileen living in the bunker as well, another woman to hang out with and talk to.

In the last couple of years, though, you discovered that your feelings towards the eldest Winchester brother had shifted. You started to notice the little things, like the dash of freckles across his nose. Or, how his eyes sometimes glittered like emeralds when he was excited about something. You knew when he was upset by the way he carried himself, because his shoulders slumped like he had the weight of the world on them. You wanted nothing more than to take that away.

However, the more your feelings for Dean grew, the more you convinced yourself that nothing would ever come of them. So, you pushed them down and tried to forget about them and focus on whatever problem was at hand. It didn't help when he called you "sweetheart" in that deep, rumbling voice of his that shook you to your soul. Or how a brush of his hand on yours caused such a rush of warmth to your cheeks that you had no idea how your hair didn't start on fire. If Dean ever found out about your feelings for him, well....you didn't even want to think about it.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

With the last of your stuff packed, you zipped up your bag. Dean poked his head through your doorway again. "Got everything?" he asked.

"Yup, I think so. Oh, wait," you said as you looked around the room for your book. It was on your nightstand, along with your phone charger, which you stuffed into a side pocket. As you reached for your bag, your hand brushed with Dean's, which had already wrapped around the handle. "Dean, I-I can carry my bag, you don't have to," you protested.

"It's all right, sweetheart, I've got it," he said as he gave you a wink. Damn him. Damn that sexy wink, damn him calling me 'sweetheart' and damn me for blushing over it, you thought. You walked out of your room to see Sam and Eileen headed for the stairs, her bag in Sam's hand. You looped an arm around her shoulders and you both grinned at each other as you went up to the garage.

Sam and Dean stowed the bags in the Impala's trunk, while Eileen got in the back behind the driver's seat. You and Sam reached for the rear passenger door handle at the same time. "What are you doing, Sam? You usually sit up front," you pointed out.

Eileen signed to you that she wanted Sam to sit in back with her. You winked and signed that you understood. With a hammering heart, you climbed into the front passenger seat, with Dean in the driver's seat. Twelve hours in the front seat with Dean? Welp, that's it. I'm toast, you thought as you mentally smacked your forehead.

Halfway into the trip, the sun had gone down and it had started to snow. You turned to look in the back seat, and the sight made you smile. Sam was asleep and leaning against the passenger door, with Eileen curled up on his chest, also sleeping. "They're so cute," you whispered.

"Hmm?" Dean inquired. You pointed to the couple in the back seat to explain your remark. As he glanced in the rearview mirror, a smile graced his lips. He leaned over to turn on the radio, but kept the volume low so as not to disturb Sam and Eileen.

The current station was playing Christmas music, but surprisingly, Dean didn't change the station. As the miles ticked by, you started softly humming to the songs. One of your favorites, The Little Drummer Boy came on, and before you knew it, you were singing the words.

What you didn't notice was that your singing had caught Dean's attention, because he looked over at you. "You have a lovely singing voice," he told you when the song was over.

Fortunately, the car was dark, so he couldn't see how flaming hot your cheeks were. "Dean, it's Christmas music, everyone sounds good singing it," you replied.

"Nah, not everyone, sweetheart. Really, you sing like an angel," he insisted, then reached over and covered your hand with his. When he did that, it took everything you had not to jump out of your skin at his unexpected but welcome touch.

"Th-thank you, Dean. That's very nice of you to say," you stammered. You continued singing for your audience of one, who smiled to himself as he drove.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Hey! You guys made it!" Donna shouted as she threw open the door to see the four of you on the doorstep. "Come in, come in!" she directed as she stepped aside. Once you were all in the door, she gave everyone a hug.

"Did you tell him yet?" she whispered in your ear. She knew about your feelings for Dean, from last month's "Girls Night" get-together at Charlie's place. One look at your face told her that you hadn't confessed anything yet. "Don't worry, chickie, we're on the case," she winked at you conspiratorially.

"Donna, no," you groaned. "I love you. Please don't interfere, though. You can't force something that isn't there," you muttered. "And what do you mean 'we're on the case'? Who else knows?" you asked.

"Um....Jody, Charlie, I think Claire," she replied.

Eileen signed that she knew also. You dropped your head to your chest, knowing that if Eileen knew, then Sam knew. Then it's just a matter of time before Dean found out. Then would come the "I love you as a friend" speech, which you didn't think you could bear to hear. Eileen touched your arm and signed that she didn't tell Sam, but that he figured it out. You sadly nodded your head, then decided to find your room.

You looked around for your bag, but it was nowhere in sight. You asked Sam where it was, and he explained that Dean had taken it upstairs with him. You trudged up the stairs and found Dean in one of the rooms as he was unpacking his bag. He turned to see you in the doorway and his face broke out into a heart-stopping smile. "Hey there," he said. "Hope this is okay, all the other rooms are taken. I brought your bag up here with me," he gestured towards where he'd left it on the bed.

"I could've brought my bag up, but thank you, Dean," you replied, returning his smile.

"It's all right, I didn't mind," he said with a grin.

The room itself was decent-sized, with a 6-drawer dresser and a flat screen TV on top of it. There was a small closet for hanging things. All in all, it was a lovely room, except for one glaring detail. One bed. Queen-sized, with nightstands and lamps on either side, but only one bed. Relax, you told yourself. This is just like when we used to share a motel bed. Nothing happened then, right? Ugh, you inwardly groaned.

"I saved the left-hand drawers on the dresser for you, so you can put your clothes away if you want. Since I'm finished, I'll leave you to sort through your stuff and arrange it how you like it. See you downstairs, sweetheart," Dean kissed your temple as he left the room.

When you finished unpacking and made your way down the stairs, you were stunned to see a slim, blonde woman fiercely hugging Dean. As you continued your descent, you saw her look up and point out to Dean that there was mistletoe hanging in the doorway. She reached up on tiptoes and locked her lips with Dean, who seemed to return her kiss. Your heart dropped down to your stomach, as you made a beeline for the kitchen.

Mask in place, you retrieved a beer from the fridge and stood next to Sam. He must have seen through your attempt at hiding your feelings, because he placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. "That's Jo Harvelle, Ellen's daughter. We used to hunt with Jo and her mom awhile back, but it's been a long time," he remarked. "Jo has always had this massive crush on Dean, but he's never expressed any interest," he quickly explained.

You shrugged. "Sam, I already know that you know. Besides, Dean and I are friends. Whoever he chooses to be in a relationship with is his business, not mine. No matter what, all I've ever wanted for him is to be happy. Excuse me," you remarked.

Sam watched as you brushed past Dean and Jo without looking at either one of them. Then you took a seat on the couch next to Charlie and folded your arms across your chest.

What you didn't notice was how Dean's eyes followed you as you walked around the room. He frowned a bit when he saw you try to discreetly wipe the tears before they could leak from your eyes. He wondered what had recently happened to cause you to be so upset and made a note to himself to ask you about it later.

"So, which room is mine?" Jo chirped.

"All of the rooms are taken, but there's an extra bunk in Claire's room," Donna interjected. Jo's face fell a bit as Claire rolled her eyes. Claire could see what was going on between you and Dean, and hoped this was your chance at happiness. She was less than thrilled about sharing a room with Jo and didn't want to see her come between you and Dean.

"Okay! Who's up for some pizza for dinner?" Jody called.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After dinner, some in the group decided to play some games. Jo, of course, made sure that she ended up on Dean's team. She maneuvered herself to sit extra close to Dean, grab his hand, ask if she could share his drink, anything to get his attention.

You declined to participate, settling in to watch a movie with Charlie instead. Every once in a while, Dean's eyes flitted over to you as you tried to concentrate on the movie. He still had not yet had a chance to talk to you about what may be bothering you.

"What is that girl's problem, anyway?" Charlie hissed.

"I don't know, Charlie, but I'm not going to stress out about it," you hissed back.

"She's practically in Dean's lap! She's stealing your man and you're not going to do anything about it??" she whispered.

"Okay, number one, he's not my man. And 'B', if Dean's happy, you know that's all that matters to me," you finished in a small voice. Charlie rolled her eyes, clearly not liking the situation with Dean and Jo.

Another hour passed, and the game players decided to call it quits. Charlie had long given up on the movie, since you had fallen asleep to it. Jo asked Dean if he was going to bed yet, but he said he was going to watch the end of the movie with you. Jo rolled her eyes and made a noise of disgust, then tromped up the stairs to her room with Claire.

Dean carefully moved your legs so he could sit down on the middle cushion of the couch. While the movie played, he studied your sleeping form. He brushed a lock of hair from your forehead with his index finger, then traced a line down your cheek. Your pink lips were slightly parted as you slept.

For a fleeting moment, he wondered what it would be like to kiss you. Dean knew that if he did, he would find out for sure if your lips were as soft as they appeared to be. He trailed his hands up and down your legs in his lap as he watched the rest of the movie.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When you woke up the next morning, you weren't on the couch anymore, you were in your room. You looked down and saw Dean's arm draped around your midsection, holding your back close to his chest. The more you tried to extract yourself, the closer he held you against his firm and muscular body. "G'morning, sweetheart," he murmured as he kissed the back of your neck.

His kiss caused a hitch in your breathing and zinged straight to your core. "Good morning, Dean," you managed to get out. You turned over to face him. "Um, Dean? How did I get back up here? Last I remember I was watching a movie with Charlie on the couch," you mentioned.

"Mmm, I brought you back upstairs and put you in bed," Dean mumbled. "You smelled so good, I just had to snuggle up right next to you," he explained. Sitting up on his elbow, he tried to give you a serious look. "Don't tell anybody, though. I have a reputation to uphold," he winked, which caused you to giggle.

"Your secret is safe with me. I certainly don't mind," you replied. Dean's arm tightened around you a bit more in response. Eventually, though, he relaxed enough that you could extract yourself so you could shower and get dressed.

A little later, Dean met you in the kitchen, where he assisted you in making French Toast with sausage links. You worked easily with Dean, occasionally bumping hips with each other and laughing. While waiting for the food to get done, Dean hooked his arm around your neck from behind, a contented smile on his lips.

When you sat next to Dean at the breakfast table, your knees accidentally touched. This caused a furious blush to color your cheeks and a jolt of electricity to shoot through you. You cast a sidelong glance at Dean, who had a sly smile on his face. You had no idea what changed for Dean to pay more attention to you. For now, you were just going with the flow to see where it would lead.

After breakfast, everyone took separate cars to town for some Christmas decorations. You rode in the Impala with Dean, but were relegated to the back seat as Jo claimed shotgun. She seemed to be extremely unhappy about all the attention that Dean was paying to you.

In the shop, she stuck like glue to Dean's side the entire time, overly excited at the smallest things. Dean seemed to take it in stride, oblivious to her flirting and fawning all over him. You didn't want any part of that, so you wandered around on your own. You picked up some small gifts here and there, along with some candy to fill everyone's stocking.

You were perusing the individual ornaments when you smelled a woodsy cologne behind you that could only be Dean. You smiled as he placed his hands on your shoulders, then he dropped them to your hips. "Hey, sweetheart, whatcha looking at?" he asked.

You leaned back against his chest. "Pick one," you said simply, gesturing with your hand at the display.

"What?" he asked.

"Pick one, pick an ornament to hang on the tree," you explained.

He reviewed the selection and chose a snowman with an electric guitar in its twig hands. "This one," he replied with a grin.

"Perfect," you said, returning his grin. "This will be your ornament, now and forever. When we get back to the lodge, I'll--" you were cut off.

"Dean!" Jo interrupted. "There you are! I'm bored, can you bring the car around to take me back to the lodge?" she whined.

"Yeah, sure. See you outside," he mumbled. He gave you an apologetic smile and squeezed your hand before leaving the store to get the Impala.

As soon as Dean left the store, Jo turned on you. "Listen. I don't know what you think you're doing, but you'd better stay away from Dean. He's MINE. He's not interested in you, so if you know what's good for you, you'll back off," she hissed. Then she turned on her heel and walked towards the front of the store.

You paid for your purchases, but were dismayed to find that you had been left behind. You felt in your pockets and realized with a groan that your phone was sitting on the dresser at the lodge. Good thing you wore your winter coat and good boots, because it was a long walk back.

By the time you returned to the lodge, you were shivering from the cold. It had started to snow on your way back, so your hair and coat were wet from the melting snow. You were taking your boots off when Jody noticed your condition. "Where have you been?? We've been looking all over for you! Oh my god, what happened?" she asked.

Through your chattering teeth, you told her how Jo had asked Dean to bring the car around to take her back. You left out the part where Jo told you to stay away from Dean. You explained that after you were done shopping, you went outside but didn't see anyone else's car. You had forgotten your phone, so you had to walk back. Jody brought you into the living room and sat you directly in front of the fire.

Dean was walking back from the kitchen when he saw you sitting near the fire but shivering from the cold. "Sweetheart, what happened?" he asked as he rushed over to your side.

"She walked back from town, and it started snowing on the way. Damn lucky she didn't get frostbite or something," Jody muttered.

"You walked?? Honey, why didn't you call? I would've picked you up," he remarked, taking you into his arms.

"L-l-left my ph-phone up-up-upstairs. W-won't d-d-do th-that a-again," you chattered.

Dean turned around and glared at Jo. "You told me she came back early with someone else and was upstairs taking a nap!" he snapped.

"I did think she came back with somebody else, Dean, I swear!" Jo replied, an innocent look on her face.

Dean rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's get you out of these wet clothes and into some dry ones," he soothed as he led you upstairs to your shared room.

Sam waited until you and Dean were all the way up the stairs before addressing Jo. "She could've been seriously hurt, you know. That was a lame stunt you pulled. You need to let go of the past, Jo. Dean doesn't have the same feelings for you that you have for him. Besides, I'm pretty sure he's interested in someone else," Sam smirked.

Jo crossed her arms in response, glaring back at Sam. "We'll see about that," she muttered under her breath.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Upstairs, Dean got out some dry clothes for you to change into. From your side of the dresser, he pulled a hoodie with AC/DC on it, recognizing it as his own. "Hey! So that's where this went," he chuckled. "You stole my hoodie!" he joked.

"I'm sorry, you can have it back if you want," you said quickly.

"No, no, it's okay sweetheart. I've just been wondering where it was. I'm glad it's been in such good hands, 'cause it's one of my favorites," he responded.

You took a pair of sweatpants out of the drawer and went into the bathroom to change, leaving the door open a crack. "I know, that's why I borrowed it," you replied, then pulled the hoodie over your head. "I like that it smells like you." You immediately clapped a hand over your mouth and squeezed your eyes shut, knowing you'd said too much.

Dean looked up in surprise, arching one eyebrow. He recovered his composure and walked over to you slowly, almost like a jungle cat stalking its prey. "Really? Is that the only reason, baby?" he asked softly, tracing down your arm with the back of his hand. All you could do is shake your head in response, the power of speech thrown completely out the window.

He took a step closer to you, hooked an arm around you to pull you back into the bedroom. Then he buried his nose in your hair and inhaled deeply. "Mmm. And you smell like strawberries. My favorite," he whispered, his breath hot against your ear. You weren't sure how much more you could take before your knees completely gave out from under you.

"I have to tell you something, sweetheart. For a while now, I've been having these....thoughts and feelings about you," he said. "If I'm not mistaken, I think you've been having some about me too, hmm?" he asked as he nuzzled your neck.

"Yes," you whispered. Somehow your brain re-engaged, and you brought your hands up to cradle his face. You looked straight into those emerald orbs of his to see love staring back at you. You gently guided him towards you until your lips met in a sweet, tender kiss. His arms wrapped around you and pulled you close to his chest, then he dove back in for another taste.

"So beautiful," he murmured.

"Dean," you whispered, as each kiss became more intense, more passionate than the one before.

He pulled back so you both could catch your breath. "My love, if we don't stop now, I won't be able to. I want this with you, but I also want to take our time. And definitely not here, where everyone's watching every move we make," he remarked, causing you both to chuckle.

"Okay, let me finish changing, and we'll go back downstairs," you agreed. Dean hung your wet clothes over the bathtub while you put on dry ones. When you finished, he held out his hand, which you gladly took in yours, intertwining your fingers. "Shall we?" he asked, kissing the back of your hand. You nodded and you went back to rejoin the group.

When you got back downstairs, you noticed that Castiel and Jack had arrived. You exchanged hugs with them, then Eileen tugged on your sweatshirt sleeve. She looked at you expectantly and you signed that your secret about Dean was out, and that the two of you had kissed. A huge grin broke out over her face as she pulled you into a hug.

You stood with her while Sam and Dean were talking among themselves. During their conversation, you saw Sam clap his brother's shoulder in congratulations. "Finally! It's about time," you heard him say. Dean caught your eye, smiled then winked. You and Eileen looked at each other, then sauntered over to the brothers, each of you claiming the one you loved.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Decorating the tree took the better part of the next two hours. You and Dean were in charge of the popcorn and cranberry garland. You were certain that more popcorn ended up in your stomachs or thrown at each other than on the string. Sam, Jack and Cas untangled the lights, while Jody and Donna talked about where to put what ornament. Jo, on the other hand, sat sulking in the corner, glaring daggers at you and Dean the entire time.

You remembered the ornament you bought for Dean in town. You wanted to show him one of your family traditions concerning tree decorations.

"Now, what you do with your ornament, is you write your name and the year on it. That way, you'll know when you got it and that it's yours," you explained.

"But you didn't get one for yourself," Dean remarked.

"I should've brought it, but I have a box back at the bunker with all of my childhood ornaments in it," you replied. By now, everyone was listening to your story. "My grandmother would give me a new ornament every year, with my name and the year written on it.

"By the time I left home, I had so many ornaments, it was hard to find a place for them all on my first tree. I've picked up some new ones over the years, making sure to label them all the same way she did. Helps me not to miss her so much," you said.

You looked around, and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. "Hey, this is a happy occasion! Let's crank up the music and get the eggnog flowing!" you exclaimed. Your friends returned to their decorating duties, like stringing up the lights and hanging ornaments.

Dean pulled you into his arms and delivered a slow, luxurious kiss. "Mmm, looking forward to more of that, Mr. Winchester," you hummed.

"There's certainly more where that came from, Baby," he replied as he closed his eyes and swayed you in his embrace. As daytime gave way to evening, you and Dean were cuddled together by the fireside, drinking mulled wine. That night, you slept peacefully, locked in the arms of the man you loved.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

You and Dean woke early, and took over the kitchen to make breakfast for everyone. The two of you made three different kinds of muffins to go with the multiple pots of coffee. Everyone raved about the banana chocolate chip and blueberry muffins. Dean especially loved the apple cinnamon muffins, saying they tasted exactly like homemade pie.

Later in the day, you noticed that the wood supply near the fireplace was getting low. You put on your coat to trudge out to the woodpile and bring in some more logs. No one noticed as Jo followed you out the back door.

You saw Jo as you were filling up the wheelbarrow to transport the logs from the woodpile to the back door. "You should wear your coat if you're going to help, it's cold out here," you remarked warily.

"And you should stay away from Dean like I told you to. He's not in love with you like you think he is. Soon he'll get bored of you and come running back to me. Dean and I have a history, you know," she smirked.

"Yeah, and from what I understand it's ancient history. He's with me now, Jo. Maybe it's time you moved on," you said as you bent down to pick up another piece of wood.

Before you knew it, you were flat on your back in the snow with a sharp pain in your head. You reached up to the side of your head and your fingers came back with blood on them. Jo had a tree branch in her hand, which you had no doubt was responsible for your head wound.

"I think it's time for YOU to move on!!" Jo thundered as she stood over you. Black spots began to appear at the edges of your vision as you started to lose consciousness. Before you blacked out completely, you saw Jo walking back to the house, leaving you out in the cold.

Dean came down the stairs, freshly showered and asked if anyone had seen you. Everyone said they thought you were upstairs with him, but he said you weren't. Sam noticed that the wood supply had dwindled, so he put on his coat to get more wood. When he saw the scattered logs, he ran over to the woodpile. That's when Sam saw you laying in the snow, with blood trickling down your face.

Sam scooped you up in his arms and ran back to the house, calling out for his brother. Dean met him at the back door to open it, and was shocked to see you'd been hurt. "Let's take her upstairs and lay her on the bed. We need to get her warmed up, I have no idea how long she was out there laying in the snow," Dean instructed.

Once they had your coat off and tucked in under the blankets, Dean started to clean and examine your head wound. "Sweetheart, open your eyes for me. Open those beautiful hazel eyes for me, Baby. I need you to wake up and tell me what happened," he coaxed. "Please, I can't lose you, not right after we just found each other. I love you," he whispered. Dean pressed the back of your hand to his forehead as a few tears slipped free.

Dean sat next to you on the bed for the next couple of hours, holding your hand and waiting for you to wake up. Donna, Jody and everyone else at some point tried to get Dean to come down for something to eat. He refused to leave your side because he wanted to be there when you woke up. Around hour #3, your eyelids began to flutter and you awoke to see Dean's tear-stained face looking down at you. "Hey," you croaked.

"Hey, sweetheart, how are you?" Dean wondered as relief crossed his face. "For a minute there, I thought I'd almost lost you," he said hoarsely as he caressed your cheek.

"I'm okay, just a little sore," you answered.

"What happened?" Dean asked. You explained how you'd gone out for more wood and that someone had followed you out the back door. You mentioned the argument you had with Jo, that she had knocked you in the head with a tree branch. Dean bolted from his position on the bed next to you and strode purposefully to the door.

"Wait, Dean. Listen, I'm not saying I condone her actions, but I do understand. She's loved you for a long time, and it's hard for her to give up on that," you started.

"Yeah, well, she's going to have to, because I'm a one-woman kind of guy. Always have been, always will be," he said as he walked back to your side.

"As long as that one woman is me, I'm all for it," you smiled as he bent down and kissed you.

"Only you, sweetheart, only you. Be right back, I've got something to take care of," he replied with a wink.

Dean descended the stairs and walked up to Jo as she stood near the fireplace. "Pack your bags, you're leaving. If you do so quickly and quietly, I won't tell your mother what you've done. I know what happened out there at the woodpile," he started.

Jo stared at Dean in defiance. "I don't know what it is you think you know," she retorted.

By this time, everyone had moved in the living room to find out what was going on. "You attacked the woman I love, and left her laying in the snow with a bleeding head wound. All because you were jealous that I am in love with her and certainly not with you. As of right now, there's nothing between you and me. I don't even know if you'd call us friends anymore. Now. GO," Dean stated in a low voice.

Jo recognized the quiet fury in Dean's voice and decided not to push things any further than she already had. She gathered her things, got in her car and left the lodge. Dean explained to everyone what had happened. He mentioned that you had regained consciousness and would be okay. Everyone breathed a sigh of relief at Dean's announcement.

A little while later, you were feeling well enough to join everyone for dinner. Jody and Donna were making a huge pot of chili, but still needed to make the cornbread to go with it. You went into the kitchen to help, but they told you to go rest and shooed you out of the kitchen. You pouted for a few minutes then convinced Eileen to help you make the cornbread. You did the actual preparing, but she fetched the ingredients.

Sam and Dean watched as the loves of their lives worked side-by-side in the kitchen. Dean couldn't believe how lucky he was to be with you. He watched as you threw your head back in laughter at something that was said. It had been a long time since he'd seen you so relaxed, so comfortable. He was determined to give you more times like that, because he loved seeing you so happy.

After everyone else had gone to bed, you and Dean sat on the couch, your back leaning against his chest. One of his arms was around you, tucked under your chin, while the other was curled around your midsection. Holding hands, fingers intertwined, you let out a sigh of contentment.

"What are you thinking about?" asked Dean.

"Careful, that can be a loaded question," you replied, both of you chuckling. You turned to face Dean. "I'm thinking of how happy I am right this second. We're in this beautiful lodge, gorgeous Christmas tree, sitting beside a warm fireplace with the man I love. All my Christmas wishes granted, wrapped up in one package. I love you, Dean," you finished.

"I'm extremely fortunate to have you in my life," Dean murmured in your ear. "You are 'smart'-(kiss)-'beautiful'-(kiss)-'funny'-(kiss)-'and'-(kiss)-'MINE,' he remarked. He leaned down and gently nibbled at your earlobe with a soft growl, causing shivers to run through you. "I love you so much, sweetheart," Dean added. "Merry Christmas, Baby."

[purplesurveys]

1155

survey by shanynx73

Do you have a dry erase board? We probably do somewhere here at home. We don’t throw school supplies like that away just in case we’d all of a sudden need them.

What do you remember most from last summer? Thinking if I’ll ever get a graduation ceremony (which I didn’t); lots of pressure about applying for grown-up stuff like a bank account and social security; and being naive about my relationship that I had no clue was already quickly going down the drain.

Where is the last place that you shopped? If online spaces count, I was just at Lazada around an hour ago trying to see if there’d be a local shop somewhere selling Good Dye Young.

What kind of shoes did you wear today? Didn’t go out today so no shoes were worn.

Have you painted lately? No but it would be nice to, now that you’ve mentioned it.

Which season has the best clothes? We don’t get 4 seasons, soooooo can’t relate.

Do you know about the many uses of coconut oil? Not too familiar.

Do you watch Dr. Oz? Back when we still bothered to have cable I remember occasionally catching his show on TV as I’d flip the channels, but it never looked all that interesting to me.

When was the last time you got balloons? My dad’s birthday, three months ago.

What color is your favorite purse? I don’t have a favorite.

What are your plans for tomorrow? Take more surveys, try not to spend money, and maybe do a couple of daily reports I usually have to do at work so that I don’t have to skim through 4 days’ worth of data by the time I get back to work on Monday.

How was your past Christmas? It was amazing; it was the time I put my foot down and finally firmly decided to start moving on from Gab, so there was a lot of self-love and self-acceptance going on. It was a very personally enlightening time for me. It also helped that I got to spend time with my extended family (in the most socially distancingy way possible) to keep me distracted and remind me of what I do have.

Do you prefer the game Sorry or Trouble? I’ve never tried playing either and I can’t remember each of their main concepts off the top of my head.

What color are the sheets on your bed? They are blue.

Do you prefer pull-over sweatshirts or zip-ups? Zip-ups, so at least I have the option to open or close it.

Have you ever had quiche? Sure.

Have you ever had a conversation with a priest (etc.) outside of church? I might have. It wouldn’t be a kind of memory I’d save in my head, but a part of me thinks there is definitely a chance this has already happened before.

What do you order when you go to McDonald's? I feel like I’ve answered this recently lol but I usually get a Burger McDo. But now that I can afford to get pricier meals, I’m looking forward to the time I’ll finally be in the mood to get a 20-piece box of McNuggets all to myself hahaha.

What do you like to put in your coffee? I don’t really make my own coffee...I prefer mine made for me already, which is why 3-in-1 sachets work perfectly for me lmao.

What is a political issue you feel strongly about? Locally speaking? All of them. Being apolitical is just privilege at work. I do take breaks from reading the news once in a while for the sake of my mental health, but I’ve never stopped giving a shit.

How often do you have to charge your phone? The battery’s health has started to slowly dwindle down; and let’s be real, it was thanks to the time I had YouTube videos on 24/7 as a coping mechanism after my break-up. So for that reason I have to charge it 2–3 times a day; it now gets drained a little faster than it used to when it was still at 100% health, but overall I’d say it’s also still holding up well.

Do you have a song stuck in your head? Sugar on the Rim - Hayley Williams. I swear I listen to other artists too.

What makes a good movie to you? Screenplay. Lines can so very easily make or break a movie.

Do you have any yellow shirts? Yes, and other kinds of tops as well.

When was the last time you wrapped a present? 2015. That was the first and only time I attempted to, and when I saw that I proved to be terrible at it, I’ve since either 1) just bought paper bags, or 2) paid my sister to wrap the gifts I’ve bought.

Do you normally win or lose at rock, paper, scissors? I typically win, actually. No idea why.

Do you like Fruity Pebbles? No. This is honestly not a Filipino/Asian thing and I had absolutely never heard of it until The Rock started calling John Cena a big bowl of Fruity Pebbles like a decade ago on WWE TV. My tween ass felt like I had to fit in so I had my mom buy me a box of Fruity Pebbles the very next day even though it cost like a bitch, and it wasn’t even that delicious.

Do you have any stuffed animals from when you were younger? Nah, I wasn’t big into stuffed toys even as a kid.

What is the craziest thing you've heard or seen on TV lately? A guy getting arrested for picking up his own McDonald’s order outside of his own house. That is the clownery of the country I have to live in.

Have you ever hyperventilated? Yes.

What was your favorite book to read in English class? Without Seeing the Dawn.

Do you wear scarves? Nope.

Are your nails painted? They are not.

Do you like to dress up? Sure.

Are you looking forward to anything in the next week? Eh, not really. I was looking forward to this week because of the Holy Week break, so I’m actually dreading next week because there won’t be any other work break as long as this anymore until Christmas.

Do you buy lottery tickets? I’ve never done so.

What is your favorite flavor of Gatorade? I’m traumatized by Gatorade lol. My mom made me chug that shit down endlessly when I was 4 when I had multiple doubts of diarrhea or whatever it was, and I never got over it. To this day I refuse to even smell it.

Do you think most people wear masks? LOL I had already typed out a full-blown answer for this talking about Covid until I double-checked and saw that this survey was made in 2013, so it must’ve been talking about masks in the metaphorical sense...that’s my  “ohhhhh” moment of the day for sure lmao. Anyway, yeah sure.

What feature do you get complimented on most? Skin.

What are you planning to do next? Look for another survey to take, and maybe some nice instrumental music to listen to.

[lambychop]

Ultimate Horror Flick List

I know this isn’t usually my style, but 🎵it’s the most wonderful time of the year🎵

That’s right: it’s the spoopy month! Which means SPOOPY MOVIES

So I present to you:

IRONICENIGMA’S ULTIMATE HORROR FLICK LIST FOR ALL TYPES OF FILM LOVERS

1) For the Gore Hounds

•Saw series- the classic films for the guys who just wanna see some people get ripped to shreads (honestly, after the second one, they go downhill)

•Jigsaw- the more recent edition to the Saw series (this ones actually pretty good and FULL of gore)

•Hostel- Saw Studies Abroad (TM)

•Final Destination series- kinda a dumb one. The movies can be kinda dumb, but the kills are INSANE. Fun movies to watch with the gang

•Texas Chainsaw Massacre- you know it, you love it, I don’t gotta explain it

•Cannibal Holocaust- seriously messed up. Banned in multiple countries. It’s something special.

•The Midnight Meat Train- lesser known, kinda weird, super bloody

•Cabin Fever- gross disease makes you loose your skin. Nasty

•Wrong Turn- basically The Hills Have Eyes but with funner kills

2) The Classic Slashers

•Scream series- one of my faves. Classic story of small town teens with a killer on the loose. Lots of fun

•Friday the Thirteenth- do I have to tell you why this is here?

•Nightmare on Elm Street- Johnny Depp getting turned into a volcano of blood? I’m in.

•Halloween- can’t have Halloween without the movie that took the name, right?

•My Bloody Valentine (the original one)- one of my all time favorite movies. Creepy killer, great group of characters, great time

•Sleepaway Camp- infamous for its batshit ending. Kinda weird ngl, but a classic

•The Town That Dreaded Sundown- Based on a real killer. Oldie, but goodie

•Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon- different take on the slasher genre. Fun look into the life of a movie slasher

•You’re Next- badass female lead? Check. Masked murderers? Check. Family bonding? Uh sure okay

•I Know What You Did Last Summer- secrets are bad. Roll credits

3) Supernatural (demons, ghosts, etc)

•The Conjuring- it’s pretty popular, you know it

•Insidious- also popular. Moral: your body is a ghost hotel

•Sinister- classic demon: likes kids, likes brutal deaths, likes to appear in the background of pictures

•The Exorcist- obviously

•Lights Out- ghosts are scared of light, that’s all you need to know

•The Sixth Sense- not really scary. Actually pretty wholesome. In an “I see dead people” kinda way

•The Rite- priest Anthony Hopkins coughs up nails

•The Omen- aka don’t trust kids

•1408- haunted hotel room. Someone call the ghoul bois

•The Amityville Horror- based on true events. Well at least we know the murders were real and the house is creepy

•The Skeleton Key- Old People+Voodoo= bad time

•Haunting In Connecticut- also a “true” story. Don’t buy a house that used to be a morgue

•The Autopsy Of Jane Doe- boy bonds with dad over dead teenage girl

•Mama- moths are gross, ghosts are worse. Dead Mom from Beetlejuice, but now a movie

•Rosemary’s Baby- dont trust thy neighbor

•The Shinning- classic. That’s all I’ve got to say

•The Orphanage- again: creepy kids

•Stir Of Echos- Kevin Bacon sees ghosts. Must I say more?

•The Others- haunted house story with a twist ending

4) Creature Features

•Trick ‘r Treat- classic Halloween film. Fun, creepy, iconic

•The Ritual- camping trip turns bad. Monster looks really cool

•A Quiet Place- you’ve probably seen it. Jim from the office speaks sign language

•The Babadook- children’s storybook is not kid friendly

•Backcountry- bears are dangerous

•Alien- you’ve seen this already but it needs to be here

•The Descent- dont watch if your claustrophobic

•An American Werewolf In London- also a fave. Best werewolf movie ever made

•The Monster- lesser know, actually pretty good

•The Thing- classic. Super good. Based on a short story. No one can be trusted because you don’t know if they’re even them

5) Horror Comedies

•Zombieland- hysterical. Bloody. Great cast

•Cabin In The Woods- this movie is insane. Combine every horror monster ever, the Illuminati, and the Office- that’s this movie

•Shaun of the Dead- the classic horror comedy

•Scary Movie series- less horror, ridiculous comedy

•This Is The End- again, like no horror, but one of the funniest films ever

6)Found Footage (not a great genre, but some can be pretty entertaining)

•The Blair Witch Project- basically the king of the found footage films. You’ve seen it

•The Conspiracy- the Illuminati is real and they don’t like to be filmed

•Paranormal Activity series- kinda annoying to horror fans. Relies on jump scares and the characters are idiots. But if I’m doing a section on foud footage, this has to be here

•Creep- okay this movie actually really disturbed me. People are absolutely insane. Don’t meet up with people from Craigslist

•V/H/S series- basically a anthology of short horror films. Kinda fun

•Apollo 18- the government faked the moon landing because they found some crazy shit

•The Sacrament- Jonestown caught on camera

•As Above So Below- Paris Catacombs are wack

•Grave Encounters- what if Ghost Adventures actually found ghosts

•Unfriended Dark Web- lets be honest: the first one sucked. Second one is actually not bad. Take away the ghosts, add the black market

•The Poughkeepsie Tapes- lesser know, can be hard to find. Really disturbing. Basically watching a serial killer tape his crimes

•Cold Ground- Set up to look just like it’s out of the seventies. It’s pretty fun

•The Last Exorcism- priests are liers

•Quarantine- English version of [REC]. I wouldn’t say it’s great, but it’s something

•Hell House LLC.- kids set up a haunted house. People die

•The Houses October Built- again with the haunted houses. Don’t trust em

•The Bay- Cabin Fever but found footage-y

•Willow Creek- y’all gotta leave Bigfoot alone

•Lake Mungo- girl drowns, family sees her ghost. No jump scares with this one, like most found footage. Mostly just a family in mourning

•The Tunnel- if the government says to stay out, STAY OUT

•The Taking Of Deborah Logan- alzheimers itself is awful to go through, but let’s add some more spooks

•The Possession Of Michael King- another possession film? Yep they just keep comin

•The Last Broadcast- suspicious murder of tv hosts

6) Family Fun

•Hocus Pocus- okay obviously

•Beetlejuice- dark humor in a “kids” film. Most of the comedy caters to adults, but it’s an awesome film

•Corpse Bride- guy accidentally marries dead girl. Wholesome family fun

•The Nightmare Before Christmas- my fave Disney film. Super cute

•Frankenweenie- dead dog=goodest boy

•Paranorman- sixth sense but now for kids+zombies

•Coraline- Might scar some small children, but I loved it when it came out when I was 8

7) Psychological

•Midsommar- happy cult family holds a festival

•Funny Games- home invasion movie done well. No cheap thrills, just some sadistic shit

•The Strangers- dont answer the door for people wearing masks when it’s not Halloween are you crazy

•The Perfection- artistic, bloody, absolute mind fuck

•Gerald’s Game- sexy time turns not good

•Unsane- imagine being stalked and no one believes you. That’s the premise

•Triangle- ummmmmmmm wtf is happening what time is it??

•It Comes At Night- trust is bad. Paranoia is good.

•The Silence of the Lambs- my personal favorite film. Serial killer helps rookie detective find another serial killer

•Jacob’s Ladder- Vietnam vet struggles with EXTREMELY terrifying visions

AND THERE YOU GO. I have seen plenty more, so if you don’t see one you’d like on this list, hit me up with what kinda movie you’re lookin for and I’ll hook you up amigo

[beepbeeprichiellc]

Please, please, please, PLEASE tell us what happens in the 74 and 86 promp fill that you did. How is Eddie going to react? Is he going to forgive Richie just like that or will there be angst???????

This took me forever! Sorry…. Part 1, Part 2

Eddie awoke with a painful crick in his neck. 

Not that he would ever complain about it, or the fact that his bed had lumps or that his room was always ten degrees colder than the rest of the house. There were a million things that scratched at his skin but he would never ever tell a living soul. Throwing his floral bedspread over his awkward form he reached over and shut off the blaring alarm, groaning into his pillow. At least it was Friday, the mask he wore around school could finally be peeled off and he could sulk in all the things that weighed him down. It was easy enough, fooling the people at school. They ate right out of the palm of his hand, fawning over the new and improved attitude that he had developed over the past six weeks. Even the losers seemed unaware of the torture he was in. 

If people knew that he had been kicked out of his home, thrown into the night like some kind of dog that his mother had grown out of they would mourn his so called loss. What they would never know was that he-Sonia’s perfect little Eddiebear-had been the one who initiated it, the one who screamed at the top of his lungs until they were black with hate and vulnerability. He had called his own mother a bitch and a whore like he was some delinquent with a vendetta. It was like he was a puppet who had finally pried the ventriloquists hand out of his own ass and made a break for it. In the end he was put out with the clothes on his back and twenty five dollars in his wallet. 

He had made it to the park where he sat until nearly dawn just soaking in what had happened. There was no home anymore, no roof over his head or meals for his stomach. There had been a thought-or rather a person that had popped into his head but his heart hung heavy at the realization that he could no longer go to him-that door had been slammed shut. More than anything he wanted to walk that familiar path, bang on that familiar window and puff his chest out with dignity. Richie would’ve been so proud of him, or at least the memory of Richie would. Eddie had never felt so alone, so lost. With nowhere to go and no one to call he waited for something-anything to do that would keep him alive long enough to see the sunrise. 

That something turned out to be a red haired girl who was cutting through the grass, on her way home. Without a word she had sat beside him and pulled him close which shattered the illusion. Somehow she had known, and in that cold morning he had wept for the person who he had been and also for the person he was going forward. Eddie Kasprbak had died on that bench and he was terrified of what was left. 

There was a knock at his door, “Wake up Eddie, we are going to be late.” 

“Okay!” He yelled back, forcing his body out of bed. Without really thinking about it he went through the motions and made it down the staircase in ten minutes flat. While running his fingers through his messy hair he followed the smell of cooking meat and was surprised to find a full spread on the kitchen table. “What is-”

“Happy Birthday!” The Hanscom family sang, including Beverly who either just got there or had snuck in sometime last night. While Eddie stood there dumbstruck, Mrs. Hanscom came over to him and wrapped her arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a sideways hug. It was warm and inviting, unlike his mothers which had always seemed greedy and cold. 

This woman-Eddie had decided-was some kind of angel. Arlene Hanscom had always wanted a big family but that had been stolen from her the day her husband had come home with a folded flag. Ben mentioned her a few times but Eddie himself had never really met her until Beverly had brought him there from the park. It took literally no convincing-not even a nudge from either Ben or Beverly and before Eddie knew it the spare room was cleared out just for him. Beverly was there nearly every night-seeking comfort after her father had fallen asleep. In that sense, Eddie was jealous. Ben was there-always there for her no matter what shape she was in and never asked for anything in return. It was hard to adjust to but Eddie made sure to do his best not to offend his hosts. 

“Don’t tell us you forgot your own birthday!” Mrs. Hanscom cooed, leading Eddie to his chair. “Eighteen! My, what a fun age.” 

“You really didn’t have to do all of this.” Eddie said, looking up to the woman. 

“Nonsense.” She replied, brushing off his sympathetic look. “A birthday should be celebrated! You are finally an adult Eddie!.” Eddie smiled, it was a thin one that came from somewhere in his chest but it was enough to keep Mrs. Hanscom happy. Turning to the food he felt no hunger, which was more normal than not. 

“So, you are finally the big one-eight. How does it feel?” Beverly asked, shoving a partially eaten sausage into her mouth. 

“I don’t know, the same I guess.” He shrugged. 

“Well we are all going to get together tonight to celebrate.” Beverly shot back, making sure that Ben’s mom was turned away before adding, “Mike’s scoring the beer.” 

“I’d really rather not.” Eddie said to his eggs. 

“Oh come on.” Ben chimed in, “It’s your birthday.” 

Eddie huffed, knowing full well that here was no win in this. The Losers celebrated every birthday the same way since 16, getting secretly shit faced at Mike’s farm and soaking in each others company but that was the thing-Eddie wasn’t really enjoying all the company lately. Things had been shaky between the group, all subtly joining sides after his and Richie’s falling out. Eddie tried not to notice, but the tension was so taught he could play it like a violin. Yet another thing that weighed down on his shoulders. 

After finishing breakfast they walked to school, Beverly talking on about their little get together. Eddie zoned out somewhere between what she was going to wear and what she was going to burn in the bonfire. Eddie nearly jumped out of his skin when a pair of hands grabbed his hips from behind-the noise that came from his mouth was less than manly. Surprisingly, it wasn’t a friend but rather Rick, someone who Eddie had been somewhat seeing over the past month. “Jesus don’t do that.” He scorned. 

“Sorry Eddie, I was just trying to surprise you!” Rick cooed, moving to the space between him and Beverly. His arm slipped around his shoulder making Eddie’s cheeks flush. “You know if you would just let me drive you, I wouldn’t have to sneak around.” 

“Sorry but I can’t let these two walk alone, they would never make it to class.” Eddie’s excuse made Beverly snort. It was a lie, and they all knew it. Only one person had ever driven him to school, it had been a tradition since the trashmouth had turned sixteen and Eddie couldn’t bear to let anyone else take the mantle. 

“It’s okay.” Rick assured, smiling over to the couple as they parted at the double doors of the school. “I get it, your friends mean alot to you.” 

God why did he have to be so perfect, it just wasn’t fair-Eddie didn’t deserve it. In reality, this thing was just something Eddie was using to busy himself with which was a shame because holy fuck-Rick was so sweet. In another world-another universe Eddie could see himself really falling for him but his heart was still swollen and bitter from the last time Eddie had tried to give a piece of it away. 

“Hey Eddie! Happy birthday!” Mike called from just down the hall, ensuring that every person after wished him as well. This made Eddie cringe at the attention. 

“Holy shit, it’s your birthday?” Rick asked, sounding disappointed. “Oh man, I’m so horrible! I didn’t know!” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Eddie muttered, letting Ricks arm fall so that he could get to his locker. “I forgot myself.” 

Rick laughed, the sound something he wished he could substitute for someone else’s. “You forgot your own birthday? Really?” Eddie shrugged, “Okay, how about I make it up to you tonight? I’ll take you out to a movie, your pick.” 

“Can’t.” Eddie sighed, “The gang is getting together to celebrate. It’s kind of a tradition.” It was like venom dripping from his tongue, the annoyance clear as day. 

“Ah I see.” Rick sounded disappointed, making Eddie’s heart clench. “You know Eddie I wanted to talk to you about something. I think I want to-” The bell rang out, silencing whatever Rick was going to say. Eddie shot him a look of sympathy, making Rick’s mouth snap shut. “Let’s talk later.” Rick said, bend down to place a peck onto Eddie’s cheek. This should make Eddie’s stomach flip but all it did was leave him with a sense of emptiness. 

Eddie watched him leave and begged himself to feel something-anything but couldn’t. Giving up he swam through the sea of students to get to this most dreaded period. Without looking around he sat in his seat, right up front. This was the only class he shared with Richie and in the nine weeks following his little slip up they had talked a total of one time and that was just when Eddie was forced to ask him for his notes. It was weird and cold and Eddie vowed to fail before doing it again. 

“Hey Eds.” 

Eddie choked on the air in his lungs at the sound, the voice sending shivers down his spine. There sitting at the desk beside was Richie Tozier himself, wearing his favorite ripped jeans and the hoodie Bill had gifted him last Christmas. Eddie blinked, unsure that he wasn’t imagining the whole thing. “U-Uh yea?” 

“I know we haven’t really talked since well-” His voice trailed off, his hand making a vague geustrue in the air. Clearing his throat he continued. “I just wanted to say happy birthday and to give you this.” Reaching into his bag Richie pulled out a small box gift wrapped in bright colors. He handed it to Eddie-who only starred. “Uh-I got it for you-” Still, Eddie watched, unmoving. “Okay well here ya go.” In slow motion he put the box in front of Eddie, as if afraid that he would scare him away. 

Richie disappeared back into the back of the class and the teacher began to lecture. Eddie could only watch the box, the rainbow Happy Birthday mocking him in every way. Despite his better judgment he pulled apart the wrapping and peeled open the box. 

It was a music box. 

Not just any music box but the one Eddie had fawned over six months ago in that thrift store the group had dragged them to three towns over. As he opened it the ballerina began to dance, the melody floating up towards the sky as if trying to escape the darkness of the world. It was just as beautiful as it had been all that time ago, the porcelain cold and frightening in his hands. 

Oh god, he was going to be sick. 

Grabbing his backpack he bolted from the room, the sound of his own name following him out into the all. There was no stop, not when he met the double doors or when the crisp wind touched his tear streaked face. Eddie had no idea where he was going but he knew that he had to get there before he completely broke down. 

So he kept running. 

What a fucking birthday.