#also i don't need to do this new poll because it's always been my dream to be a beta in an a/b/o world with a superiority complex

[mecachrome]

how has lando been going through the entire alphabet to find new oscar nicknames and yet still hasn't committed to OSCY

[neptuneiris]

could you pretend to be in love? (10/10)

The Realization

pairing: modern!aemond × fem!reader (fake dating)

summary: prom is coming and so is the end of a stage in your life. surprises and unexpected conversations take place, the question is, are you able to forgive in order to move on?

word count: 9.7k

previous part • series masterlist

this is not a drill, it's really happening!

first of all, i want to apologize for having left this story aside without finishing it. it wasn't something i decided, the writer's block precisely in this fic made me not try anymore for a while, mostly to clear my mind and my ideas, because i had no idea what to write after chapter nine 💀

so I hope you really forgive me and enjoy the last chapter 🥺 it has been an honor to have given you this little fic, I really enjoyed writing it despite the little mental breakdowns I had haha

and just like my other stories, I keep it in my heart and it will always be here for whenever you want to reread (I will make sure to post it in AO3, don't worry) i'm also thinking of doing a poll about the epilogue where you guys will decide if you want one or prefer this ending. let me know after you finish reading the chapter 🤗

enjoy and I look forward to your comments!

It still all feels like a bad dream that you can't wake up from. An unwanted dream. A nightmare.

And every time a new day comes, you feel like a human being who does everything in automatic mode, not because you really want to.

In front of your dad you must pretend that everything is fine, but as soon as you leave home and get to school, you feel a huge weight and a sadness that nothing and no one can take away from you.

You feel the stares of some people on you, if not all of them. But the truth is that you feel so emotionally drained that you don't even pay attention to them.

Many would say that not being accepted to a college doesn't mean it's the end of the world. Nor does it mean that your chances are over because there is still too much time to be able to do everything you want.

And you accept that they are right. All is not lost because you didn't get accepted.

When you were rejected the first time when you applied in conjunction with the scholarship, disillusionment sets in. There is disappointment in yourself for not being enough and there is this question that constantly floats in your mind; why others do and I don't? Why am I not worthy of the same fate as them?

Maybe it's age, but it's inevitable to feel that rejection and failure after having so many plans and having in mind the idea of making your dad proud by telling him that you've been accepted to college.

And not just any college, but Citadel.

But so far, you haven't had the courage to tell him instead that you won't go to any college. You just can't. You don't know what exactly you'll tell him and you don't want to face it yet. You don't want to see his disappointed face so you need more time.

So instead of dreams and aspirations, as well as preparing to live a college life, you prepare and focus on getting a job. You don't see employment as a bad thing either. You just wish you didn't have to focus on it right now.

You haven't talked to Aemond either. You haven't even seen him.

You're in some classes together. But you barely pay attention. Even though you used to notice his presence before and now, unconsciously, you ignore it. Now your mind is too busy with your worries.

It's like being in a disconnect. You are just there, existing. But you barely talk, barely react and barely do. You just want classes to end soon so you can go home.

Of course, he hasn't stopped trying.

He wants to talk to you, but you won't let him. You just don't want to have anything to do with him anymore. Even though you feel that emptiness he has left, you immediately force yourself not to think about it.

It's like pain and confusion mixed together, but your pride and that same pain makes you prefer to stay away.

You don't even care anymore what people say about him and you. It's obvious that the two of you are no longer in a 'relationship'. No one knows what happened and neither one of you is clarifying anything.

Which you are grateful for, so as not to feed the topic in the whole school.

Meanwhile, Alysanne and Cregan are almost always around you, trying to cheer you up and make you endure school better. You couldn't be more grateful for both of them either.

"So what are your plans for the weekend?"

Alysanne asks as the three of you are sitting on a bench in the outside courtyard. On the bench where you and Aemond made the fake relationship contract, precisely. But you try not to focus on that as the three of you eat lunch.

"We're going to the movies, did you forget already?" asks Cregan, confused.

"Huh? This weekend?"

"You forgot," he assures her.

"I didn't forget!" she lies, nervous.

"We agreed to go on Saturday. To the ten o'clock function for the horror movie."

Oh yes, the two of them are dating. Just as you and Aemond have 'broken up', so you try not to feel more distressed about it.

"Do you want to come, Y/N?"

You raise your gaze to Alysanne, confused, who gives you a smile.

"It's a date, isn't it? Just the two of you."

"We'll have more dates," she makes a nonchalant gesture.

Poor Cregan.

"Besides, it would do you good to clear your head a bit. So, what better than going to the movies? Right, Cregan?"

"Yeah, it'll do you good," he nods.

"No, thank you," you say softly, "I don't want to interfere with your dates. Besides, I'm not in the mood to go out. I'd rather stay home."

"You're not going to interfere with anything. Besides, you've stayed home enough days," she reproaches you, "Come on. Even one night. We'll have a great time."

"If you don't want to go to the movies, we can go somewhere else," Cregan proposes.

You grimace slightly.

"No, thank you. I..." you sigh, "I really appreciate it, guys. But I'd rather stay home."

Staying home to look for a proper job and plan to tell your dad you won't be going to college, like you've been doing for the past few days.

"Are you sure?" Alysanne looks at you not entirely convinced.

"Yeah," you shrug, "Don't worry about me."

"Of course I worry about you."

"You should focus on your date," you say as you give Cregan a meaningful look.

"Totally," Cregan nods, "In fact, she'll plan the next date."

"What?" she looks at him in horror.

"What you heard."

"And why me?"

"Because I always do."

Your talk with them doesn't last long as soon the bell rings and they head off to their respective classes, except for you, who has a free hour.

So you stand on the bench alone, just looking outside and nothing else, enjoying your lunch unhurriedly and in peace and quiet.

You let out a long breath and distract yourself for a few moments in your social networks, watching as some people post their reactions from when they were accepted to colleges. Everyone screams, smiles and cries of happiness with their families.

Except for others who quietly show how they were not accepted. But they open more emails and get accepted to other colleges.

You wish you were part of them.

You close those apps and go to Tiktok to distract yourself for a while by watching funny videos or storytimes.

When suddenly, you hear footsteps approaching behind you, which catches your attention. You turn your head, peeking over your shoulder and then you see him, Aemond.

He stops as soon as your eyes look directly into his, as if you've caught him in the act of robbery. Which reveals how very cautious he was being to approach and not scare you.

You see the uncertainty in his gaze, the insecurity and the wariness all at the same time. Which is rare for him, as he doesn't allow himself to look so vulnerable. But you understand why he's this way with you.

First you think about getting up and leaving him with the word in his mouth, like you've been doing lately. But for some reason, it's like finally your mind resigns and your body will force you to stay where you're sitting. And you don't even know why.

Or maybe it's because he's begging you with his gaze not to leave and listen to what he has to say after so many weeks.

Inevitably your nerves invade you and neither he nor you say anything for a few long seconds. He just stands still, as if testing the waters, waiting to see if you will move away from him again attentively.

Then he swallows hard and watches you with a sad but hopeful expression.

“Can I come closer?”

You press your lips together, think about it for a few seconds and finally give him a barely visible nod.

You turn your gaze to the front and begin to put your tupper with food in your backpack. While at the same time Aemond approaches you, cautious but firm. And surprised that you are allowing him to do this.

You let out a long breath and bring a hand to your hair, nervous, not knowing why.

Then he steps in front of you and only at that moment, you realize he has a folder in his hand. A folder that he sets down on the table in front of you, with smooth, cautious movements.

“I just came to drop this off for you. Nothing else.”

You raise your gaze to look at it confused for a moment, then look back down at the folder in front of you.

“It's the paperwork you need to submit to finalize the scholarship process,” he says softly, “Classes start in two months and by now you should have received an email from the university with all the information as an incoming student.”

Wait, what?

Your mind immediately questions, as you frown more and feel your heart start to beat too fast.

“What are you talking about?” you ask in a low murmur, not understanding.

And Aemond lets out a long breath.

“I'm keeping my promise.”

His words echo steadily in your mind.

And you dare to raise your gaze to him again, confused, serious and incredulous. And what he does is lower his gaze, sorrowful and unsure. However… he is firm with what he is saying.

Then a tingle begins to run through your hands, at the same time as you feel the nervousness sweep through your body like a wave. You part your lips as you look at the folder in front of you and with trembling hands, you pick it up and open it.

The first thing you see is the university logo and an overwhelming sensation sweeps over your body and mind as you see what appears to be a letter addressed to you.

Miss. Y/N Y/L/N, Faculty of Law. Official documentation for the scholarship process.

You feel the air you were holding in your lungs slowly leave your mouth. And a huge weight that you felt in your chest is lifted, allowing you to rest and breathe properly.

At first, you think your mind is playing a joke on you. You think he's doing it. But… this is real. More real than you can imagine.

“I know I didn't do things the right way…

Aemond begins to speak, noticing the mix of shock and confusion in your gaze, breathing hard through your mouth.

“I know I took you for granted and that I hurt you,” he says softly, “But that was never my intention, Y/N. I-I… I thought I would get everything under control. That I would work it out and get everything done on time. But, it's just… I don't even have justification.”

You feel tears begin to form in your eyes. But you control yourself. You bite the inside of your cheek and try not to let his words make you break down in tears.

As if the fact that you have in front of you one of the papers confirming and assuring you that you will finally go to the college of your dreams isn't enough.

“I should have acted sooner and looked for solutions. I should have been honest with you from the beginning. And you don't know how sorry I am,” he says softly and vulnerably, his gaze lowered, ”I also don't expect you to forgive me for keeping a promise and asking for forgiveness. I know I fucked up and things can never go back to the way they were. But I just want you to know…” he takes a moment, "That I really did fall in love with you."

Fuck.

“What I felt for you was real. It was never a game or a pretense. I was just… afraid,” he admits, ”Afraid of fucking up what we had. Afraid it would all fall apart if I told you the truth. But… I ruined everything,” he says with a resigned tone, ”You don't have to talk to me again either if you don't want to. You don't owe me anything. I just wanted to tell you the truth and let you know how sorry I am.”

Each word echoes in your mind, with the weight of his regret and his sincerity. You feel the tremble in your body, not helping the fact that you are still staring at the college sheet addressed to your name.

And you hold back, trying to calm the chaos being unleashed inside you by his words.

When he doesn't say anything else, you certainly won't and you both fall silent for a moment, as the weight of his words and the meaning of them fill the space. Until he speaks again.

“I won't bother you anymore,” he moves forward a bit back to the way he came, “Best of luck at Citadel. You deserve it, you really do,” he tells you with a small smile that is sad but genuine at the same time.

Then his figure disappears from your field of vision and you hear him start to walk away. And at that moment, the world seems to stop for you.

Unable to help yourself, you turn your head and watch him walk away with tears in your eyes. There is something in his walk, in that slight slope of his shoulders, that screams the burden he carries. And you don't know why, but… you want to call him, to tell him something that will ease the knot you both feel.

However, you know that won't fix anything.

You feel the air leave you, his words still echoing in your mind. You stare at the folder again, trying to remember what this achievement meant to you before this moment, before he came and stirred all the emotions in you.

You try to be strong, you try not to let this affect you more than it should, you think of the positive. But you can't.

So still in disbelief, excitement, sadness and with all your emotions mixed up, you take your phone, unlock it and open your emails app. And there, your most recent email, you read: Citadel University.

With your hands shaking, you press the email and read in slightly larger letters: Welcome to Citadel University! Miss Y/N, Y/L/N. Faculty of Law, Registration number: 31982.

Then, finally, you can't hold back the tears any longer and you put a hand to your mouth, letting them out, with confused and intense feelings coming over you.

Your father's loving and proud words, hugs and kisses make you smile.

It took you four days to finally break the news to him. And seeing him so happy, excited and proud, made you finally stop feeling so bad for even a moment. You also broke the news to Alysanne and Cregan, who were very happy for you.

Neither of them mentioned Aemond, which you appreciated. But there is the clear acknowledgement to him for making this possible.

You obviously left the job search behind and instead started contacting the university. You sent the missing and necessary documents, they sent you information about the scholarship, your schedule, classes and also about your dorm.

It's like finally this void in your chest is being filled as you finally see this all happening. And as you look at the pictures of the university, with old, elegant and modern architecture at the same time, that excitement rises in you.

However, what you feel is not happiness in its entirety.

In fact, you feel in the middle of a crossroads; joy is mixed with sadness. And the satisfaction of fulfilling the dream feels incomplete.

The worst part is that you know why.

But you don't think about it too much either. You don't want to. On the contrary, you force yourself to repeat over and over again that this was the plan all along. You force yourself to enjoy it and get excited.

You force yourself to think that what happened outside of getting into the college of your dreams was for a reason, but in the end you got what you really wanted.

But, deep down inside, you think about how you wish things could have been different.

At the same time, prom is just around the corner.

At first, you thought about not attending, but of course, Alysanne wouldn't let you think about it anymore. She dragged you with her to the dress store and sentenced that it will be a date of three, her, Cregan and you.

You tried to persuade her, to make her understand that Cregan only wants her as his date. But, of course, Cregan as the great friend he also is, told you it would be fun.

Certainly neither he nor you nor Alysanne have ever been on a three-way date and he told you; what better than to try it at the prom?

The prom preparations are done. Now the important thing is to turn in final projects and get rid of all the pending with the professors.

And that's what you're doing now.

With your headphones on and a notebook along with a book on your table, you're about to finish a long, boring project. When you notice how a figure suddenly obscures your workspace and you raise your gaze almost instantly, curious.

Helaena.

You remove your headphones, surprised to see her as she smiles softly at you.

“Hi,” you say to her in a soft tone, putting your project aside for a moment.

“Hi,” she says to you in the same soft tone, ”I… am I interrupting you?”

“Oh no,” you say nonchalantly, “I mean, yes, but I'm just about to finish it anyway. Don't worry.”

She looks at you a little unsure.

“Are you sure? It's just… I don't know,“ she shrugs, 'It's been a while since we last talked and I didn't know if I could come up to you.”

Again you ignore the small sharp pain in your chest at the memory of Aemond and try to look like you're not at all affected by having his sister in front of you.

“Yeah, well…” you try to smile a little, ”Things have been… intense lately.”

She nods as she takes a seat across from you.

“So it's official?” she asks you with a sad tone as she watches you with a sad little smile, “Like, I mean… you and my brother aren't coming back together?”

This time, the sharp pain in your chest is stronger and more persistent. As well as her question hits you like a wave.

How can you tell her that, in reality, everything you and Aemond had was false? That it was all part of an agreement?

The guilt begins to consume you as you see her face full of expectations and the worst thing is that it's not something you should tell her. That should be Aemond. But, still, you feel the urge to cry and you feel the need to finally tell her the truth, for the sake of everyone who made you believe the fake relationship.

“Helaena…” you begin, your voice barely a whisper, ”I-I… need to be honest with you.”

You take a breath, expecting the worst and imagining a series of difficult emotions to deal with.

“This whole thing between Aemond and I… it was fake,” you speak fearfully and sorrowfully, ”We were just… pretending for our own convenience. It wasn't…” you sigh, closing your eyes for a moment heavily, ”It wasn't real.”

You expected surprise, indignation, incredulity, anger, and more, all at the same time. But to your greatest surprise and bewilderment, she doesn't seem remotely surprised. Instead, she just smiles softly at you, full of understanding, as if she's been waiting for this moment for a long time.

“I already knew that,” she tells you in a serene tone that disarms you.

You feel your lungs hold all your air and you watch her completely stunned, surprised and confused with your parted lips. Then you blink, processing her words.

“What?”

“Aemond told me everything the moment you set up your rules,” she replies calmly, “The truth is, he never hides anything from me. He can't. So I already knew what you both were doing from the beginning.”

You continue to watch her in shock and disbelief, unable to believe it, trying to understand how she could have kept this to herself so naturally.

And in that moment, with disbelief and surprise beating in your chest, you realize that in every single conversation you had with her, right here at school, at parties, even at that family dinner that ended in disaster thanks to Aegon's drunkenness… she had always known.

“Though I don't always approve of his decisions, I understood why he did it… and why you did too.”

But your mind is still short-circuiting, processing and comprehending.

You relive in your mind every moment you went out of your way to pretend, believing you were fooling everyone, especially her. And yet, there's Helaena, looking at you with an expression of calm and empathy that completely disarms you.

“So you knew?” you are able to formulate in asking in a breathy whisper.

She nods, smiling softly.

“Easy, only I knew.“

“And you're not upset?” you ask confused, still waiting for some sign of reproach.

“Not at all. On the contrary, I'm relieved,” she tells you honestly, ”People made fun of Aemond after Alys. And, well, that left a mark on him. You know what rumors are like here.”

“Oh, believe me I do.”

“And they made him miserable. It also didn't help at all that Alys was his first girlfriend and his first formal relationship but the two of them didn't love each other, it was just obsession and whim,” she says absurdly, "And with you, at least, he got some peace back, even if it was temporary."

“But then…” you look at her blankly, “Why did you ask me if we'll get back together?”

Helaena sighs, her gaze soft but intense.

“Because in the end the two of you really fell in love. I saw you at Dragonstone and it was… too obvious.”

You remain silent, remembering those moments.

Both of you walking through those historical corridors, seeing and learning absolutely everything about old Valyria. Both holding hands, fascinated in the aquarium watching everything around or walking together on the shore of the beach, laughing, exchanging glances, hugging and kissing every now and then that everything felt too sincere to be pretending.

You relived every moment and every detail that you wished you could go back to when everything was fine.

Aemond had been different with you those days, a side of him that you had never seen and had thought only existed because of his performance in the fake relationship you had both agreed to.

But even you, being there, without the pressure to pretend, you felt the barriers fall between the two of you, because it was all real.

“He fell in love with you, Y/N,” Helaena tells you sincerely, “You… you did too?”

You feel a lump form in your throat and you let the question float in the air for a moment. The answer is so clear in your mind that it hurts; and yet, saying it out loud feels like breaking a promise you had made to protect yourself.

“Yes, I did too,” you admit, sadness settling in your chest, "But…" you take a deep breath, watching her, ”What happened with Floris even though it was a mistake… and then, the fact that he didn't tell me the truth about Citadel, it really hurt me.”

Helaena nods softly, not judging you, simply listening to you. And when she speaks, her tone is so serene and understanding that it comforts you.

“My brother has this amazing ability to do things in the worst possible way,” she says with a small resigned smile, ”Floris was a mistake. He was drunk and well, he told me that before that both of you have had a disagreement, although that doesn't justify it, I know. I'm just saying, it really was a mistake.”

Your mind momentarily flashes back to that moment, when you tried to end the fake relationship after the family dinner thing.

“And as for the Citadel thing…” she pauses, searching for the right words, “He freaked out, Y/N. He didn't know how to tell you without ruining everything. And I know that doesn't justify it either, but…” she sighs, ”He was going to do whatever it took to hold up his part of the contract. He just didn't count on our grandfather suddenly getting difficult. Our family is already so fucked up as it is, that was the last thing he expected.”

Her words suddenly make you feel interested and curious about a specific topic you hadn't remembered until now. But Helaena continues to speak and you listen to her.

“Even though his method was disastrous, in his mind, he was protecting you,” she says, ”Again, I'm not justifying it. But I know he was desperate to get you that place at Citadel no matter what because he knew you deserved it. And…” she smiles at you with a gesture of resignation, "I think he loves you enough to do stupidly risky things. Even go against grandfather and act behind his back knowing how much trouble he could get into.”

You bite the inside of your cheek and feel a knot of emotions form in your chest. Everything she's telling you opens a door to feelings you'd tried to repress, to thoughts you'd rather bury.

You take a deep breath, remembering again those days at Dragonstone.

You relive every moment, when words were redundant and the silence between the two of you felt so full of meaning. He was always watching you in a way that seemed to say everything and nothing at the same time. He was slowly revealing that vulnerable part of himself that he seemed to have lost after Alys.

But as much as you want to think straight, your thoughts are a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. On the one hand, the pain of it all consumes you but on the other, there's the certainty of how you feel about him.

Even when you're hurting, you know you can't ignore it.

“I know he's still waiting, deep down, for maybe…” Helaena pauses, “Maybe there's a chance for both of you.”

The expression on her face is so sincere and tender that you find it impossible not to believe her, and the thought fills you with a mixture of relief and pain. Because, despite everything, you still love him, and that truth is impossible to deny.

“I don't know,” you confess, biting your lips and feeling your eyes water, ”I-I…I don't know what to do. I mean, we're already graduating. We'll go to the same college but I doubt we'll see each other, you know? And I just… n-no… I don't know….

“Hey, hey,” Helaena tells you instantly, ”It's okay. We don't have to talk about this anymore. I didn't want to overwhelm you or burden you, I just wanted to tell you my opinion and for you to talk to someone in case you needed to,” she tells you softly, comfortingly, ”Still, it's something between the two of you and we can talk about anything else.”

You thank her with a relieved look, her gesture of empathy appearing as she watches you with her soft, understanding expression. And then, she speaks with a more casual tone, changing the subject with a lightness that relieves you a bit.

“You have everything ready for graduation? Are you bringing a date?”

“Hum… yes, I already have everything ready,” you nod, ”And no, I'll go with my two friends. I think you met them, Alysanne and Cregan.”

“Oh yes! I know them,” she says with a smile, ”And I'm going with a friend too. I don't really like the idea of everything being so formal, so going with a friend will make it all more fun.”

Both are silent for a few moments, and although the conversation has taken on a lighter tone, you feel there's still a question trapped in your chest. And at the memory of that day, an impulse prompts you to speak before you can stop yourself.

“Helaena,” you call her softly, "I… can I ask you something?" you ask almost in a whisper, lowering your gaze a little, hesitating.

She watches you curiously and nods without hesitation.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Hum…” you stir in your seat, “That night, at dinner, Aegon said something… about your dad not caring about you. What did he mean by that?”

She immediately looks like she wasn't expecting that question at all, which immediately makes you regret it, but then she softens her whole gaze, not looking at all uncomfortable or upset.

“Oh, well… our dad…” she begins to speak, choosing her words precisely, “Well, he was always very neglectful with us. He always left all the work to mom to take care of us, even when she had to work too so she wasn't totally dependent on him,” she explains, ”It was chaos for a long time. Aegon and I lost years of education because of his lack of commitment.”

“Really?” you look at her attentively and surprised.

“He missed the date to register us for kindergarten in our proper time. He always forgot our birthdays or some important date. But, of course, that never happened to him with our older stepsister, Rhaenyra.”

You remember Aemond mentioning her, though not much.

“And you don't talk to her?”

“Yes, of course,” she says with a small smile, “She was never at blame. In fact, by comparison, she always took us into account and never forgot our existence,” she explains, ”And well, eventually mom divorced him. And the only good thing dad did in the end was to mention us and give us parts of his inheritance in his will.”

Helaena's sincerity and calmness in sharing this about her life surprises you and, at the same time, makes you understand the complicated family history behind them. Now it's no wonder why Aegon was so angry to bring up the subject of parents.

Nor do you ignore the connection you begin to feel towards them, obviously because of your mother and her abandonment.

“It must have been very difficult, for everyone,” you murmur, ”I'm sorry to hear that.”

She nods, though her expression doesn't reflect bitterness, but something akin to mature acceptance.

“Yes, but that made us strong,” she says with a slight smile, "Aegon was the one who resented his absence the most, as you could see," she tells you knowingly, ”You know, being the eldest and all. But we're more… happy now, now that he's gone,” she confesses.

You let out a long breath, watching her with compassion.

“Thank you for telling me. I didn't mean to intrude, really.”

“No, it's fine, it really doesn't affect me,” she assures you softly, ”After that Aegon scene at dinner, it's valid you know. So don't worry.”

You both smile softly at each other, expressions warm and sincere, falling silent. When Helaena stands up, slinging her backpack over her shoulder.

“Well…” she says, letting out a slight sigh, adjusting her backpack, ”I should be going now. I also have projects to finish.”

“Sure,” you nod, ”Thanks for coming and talking to me.”

“Oh, there's nothing to thank you for. Anytime. I'll see you later, okay?”

“Okay.”

You both say goodbye and you watch her walk away in the direction of the main building, her silver hair shining in the sunlight, as you let out a long breath and put your headphones back in.

Prom.

You really don't understand what you're doing here. But it's all Alysanne's doing, like the makeup, hairstyle and dress.

You get out of Cregan's car with a beautiful lilac metallic dress on. Finding it wasn't hard at all, since it was like love at first sight, especially since it has a princess cut. And upon measuring it, Alysanne also decided that it was the one.

The hairstyle was also easy, after all, you didn't want anything too voluminous or too fancy. So a wavy style in your hair with a crown of silver flowers at the crown of your head was the perfect touch.

Alysanne on the other hand chose a beautiful wine colored dress that flatters her at every angle, deciding to gather her hair with two strands falling on either side of her face, making her look absolutely elegant and gorgeous.

And once all three of you are ready, Cregan dressed in an impeccable dark suit, offers you both his arms and you enter the grand ballroom of the luxurious hotel together.

The ballroom is illuminated by the typical disco balls hanging from the high ceiling, casting silver and white sparkles that create an almost magical atmosphere.

The decor is elegant and subtle, with centerpieces of fresh flowers and candles giving each table a touch of romantic charm.

You feel a mixture of nerves and excitement as you enter, as if it's all part of a dream. After all, it is your prom and tonight symbolizes a chapter you are about to close, your high school years.

The dance floor is in the center, surrounded by tables in a circle and already some of the guests have started to dance, getting lost in the rhythm of the soft music that fills the atmosphere thanks to the DJ.

Although not only disco balls light up the place, but also some colored lights to make the atmosphere more colorful.

If someone had told you in your freshman year everything that was going to happen in your final year, you would have laughed out loud and wouldn't have believed it at all, because your life was too boring.

But here you are, with still those events in mind, where at the end of the night, you will put them behind you.

You adjust your lilac dress, whose princess-cut skirt falls in soft layers to the floor. The fabric moves with you, as if it were an extension of your own footsteps, and the color shimmers delicately under the silver lights.

The three of you make your way to one of the tables to take a seat and you take a closer look around you as the decorations and you also see familiar faces of some of your classmates, some laughing in groups and others on the dance floor with their dates.

And Alysanne, excited and obsessed with everything, wants to have memories of the whole night and soon the three of you are taking a long selfie session with her phone.

Cregan complains about too many photos and the laughter of the three fills the air as Alysanne continues to make sure she captures the best shots, changing angles and poses.

Alysanne, with a huge smile, spins around on herself and then grabs your hands to dance with her, laughing every time you both take a step out of rhythm. You can feel her pure happiness, an excitement that doesn't take long to become contagious and where Cregan soon joins in.

The dance floor is filling up and the sparkles of the lights reflecting off everyone's costumes and dresses create an enchanting and magical atmosphere.

The DJ starts mixing more upbeat songs, and you see how everyone is having fun, laughing and dancing.

Immediately this catches Alysanne's attention and she drags the three of you onto the dance floor with infectious laughter. Before you know it, you're in the middle of the dance floor with them, surrounded by movement and music.

The music beats on the floor and vibrates in your chest, and, slowly, you begin to let loose, moving to the beat of the songs as the colored lights swirl above you all.

“I'm going to get a drink!” you let them both know over the music.

You have no idea exactly how much time passes that you find yourself dancing, enjoying the night, the echo of laughter and the warmth of the crowd.

The euphoria makes you forget and enjoy yourself as you feel your throat dry and your feet start to ache, with your body starting to beg for water and a little break.

“Okay!” Cregan nods, throwing you a smile, still dancing with Alysanne.

You smile knowingly, since after all, these two deserve to have their moment, and you walk away towards the table where there are different desserts and the drinks for all the graduates.

You take a bottle of water, and as you drink, the immediate relief makes you close your eyes for a moment, enjoying the coolness.

And only at that moment, standing alone and a little apart, you notice the glances of some people around you, mainly girls passing by you and whispering something between them, looking at you out of the corner of their eyes.

Great.

You thought you were past all this but even at prom it doesn't stop.

You take a deep breath and look out onto the dance floor, where you make out Alysanne and Cregan dancing close together, smiling and animated. You certainly don't want to interrupt them and you look around again, trying to distract yourself with anything you can find to rest your feet on.

You try not to make a big deal of it and look back at them for just a few moments with a serious look on your face and again try to focus on regaining your energy, telling yourself that this shouldn't affect you.

You remind yourself that you are here for you and your friends, and that is all that should matter to you.

When your gaze unconsciously focuses on Floris.

With her arm intertwined with a boy, whom you recognize from the lacrosse team, she looks absolutely elegant with a beautiful hairstyle and a gorgeous pink dress.

And as she joins the party, she seems totally focused on enjoying the evening, her expression relaxed and happy.

You look away from her, focused on something else, where your attention slips unintentionally to Alys, surrounded by her friends.

In the distance, suddenly her gaze meets yours and you quickly look away, not knowing why but… you really don't want to deal with or care about those people anymore.

She's wearing dark makeup and a sensual emerald green dress that completely clings to her body and highlights her curves. She looks completely beautiful, but knowing her attitude and behavior, it makes her lose her charm.

You watch Helaena for a few more seconds, her energy lighting up the dance floor, when suddenly, a tall, familiar figure catches your attention on the other side of the room in the crowd.

Instead, you focus on Helaena, who you find among all the people dancing, getting carried away by the atmosphere and in the company of the friend who told you.

Her silver hair is swaying to the music and she shines in the middle of everyone in that beautiful sky blue dress and gold accessories, looking absolutely gorgeous.

Aemond is standing a few feet away, talking to Aegon, both looking absolutely handsome for the evening. Then, the atmosphere around you seems to fade a bit and he's the only one who catches your eye in the middle of the crowd.

And that mixture of emotions about him rises in your chest again.

You take a closer look at who is around him and it is only Aegon. You don't see any girl hanging on his arm or anything, so apparently he has come unaccompanied, just like you.

He is dressed in a dark suit that highlights his slender figure and impeccable posture, just like Aegon. The silver light of the disc balls bring out his silver hair and his face so perfectly detailed, giving it a glow that is almost unreal to you.

Your gaze lingers on him longer than you had anticipated. From a distance, you can notice the lack of expressions on his face and the small twitch of his lips as he speaks to Aegon, looking around him without really showing any emotion.

That eye contact takes the air out of you. The memory of all the things you shared, the conversations, the looks, the touching and kissing… it all comes over you.

And at that very moment, as if sensing the weight of your attention, Aemond looks up and sees you beyond the crowd, apart and alone. The visual connection is instantaneous, almost electric, and suddenly you feel all the people and bustle around you fade away.

You can't deny the attraction and deep affection that, even now, beat intensely in your chest. And, for an instant, you wonder if he too feels the same mix of nostalgia and sadness in the midst of it all.

You notice how he looks you up and down, lingering on every detail of what you're wearing today, his eyes shining, filled with a kind of wary hope and longing, completely stealing your breath.

Then, his body language tells you he's getting ready to move. Coming at you, with her determined gaze.

Oh God.

A sense of panic invades every part of your body. And before he can do anything, you look away and quickly make your way to the dance floor, blending into the crowd, heading towards your friends.

The music booms in your ears and your thoughts are in complete chaos, hitting you one after the other.

Closing your eyes for a moment, you tell yourself that you just want to enjoy the night, to stop thinking about him and what was, even if it's only for a few hours.

So time passes, the energy of the dance becomes more relaxed, and though you manage to avoid crossing paths directly with Aemond, his presence seems to haunt your mind like a lingering ghost, one that doesn't dissipate with the music or the bright lights.

You look around from time to time, and out of the corner of your eye you notice that he also seems to avoid being too close to you, although you can't help thinking that maybe he is also looking for you in the crowd, as you are looking for him.

Until, finally, the atmosphere immediately changes.

The lights dim and the silver and warm tones transform the room into an intimate place. Couples begin to approach the dance floor, holding hands, to dance to the slow songs. And you decide it's the perfect time to take a break.

You smile at Cregan and Alysanne, giving them another moment again, feeling a twinge of tenderness and, at the same time, unexpected loneliness.

You take a seat at one of the nearby tables, watching as the dance floor fills with couples slowly swaying to the music.

Dresses and suits intertwine, and for a moment, you let yourself be enveloped by the warmth of the atmosphere, allowing yourself to feel invisible in the midst of all that harmony.

You watch Floris dancing with that boy, Alysanne with Cregan of course, and Helaena dancing with her friend, both with amused smiles and talking softly without taking the slow dance so seriously. You also see Aegon dancing very close with a girl.

And as your eyes wander around the dance floor, your gaze focuses again on his figure, which seems just as lonely as yours.

A few tables away, Aemond sits alone, surveying the dance floor with an expression you fail to fully decipher. His fingers drum on the rim of his glass, and, for a moment, he seems lost in his own thoughts. He looks calm, almost vulnerable.

You stare at him longer than you think and sigh, averting your gaze, and as the seconds pass, the urge to stand still and do nothing begins to fade.

You bite the inside of your cheek and begin to move your foot up and down rapidly, feeling your heart begin to beat too fast. You watch all the people dancing again, hesitating.

Then you let out a long breath and without knowing exactly why, you take a deep breath and stand up. With slow steps, a momentum and a calmness you try to maintain, you head towards him.

As you get closer, you notice how his gaze, which was lost on the dance floor, suddenly focuses on you, noticing before out of the corner of his eye your approaching figure. Surprise and bewilderment mixed with something else appears in his gaze and you stop in front of him, nervous but determined.

Then neither of you say anything for a few moments. The same nerves make you unable to speak and the two of you just stand there, watching each other.

You feel how some people around you suddenly have their attention focused on both of you, waiting for what you will do, but you don't even pay attention to them. You just focus completely on him.

Until you sigh.

"Do you dance?" you ask softly and nervous.

The words seem to break the spell, and Aemond blinks, clearly surprised and somehow confused.

You watch the expression on his face, as if he's processing every word you've just said, looking for some hint of doubt or change of heart in your expression.

"S-sure," he says still confused, not expecting this at all.

There's a mix of emotions in his eyes, confusion, surprise and nervousness, something you wouldn't have expected to see in him. And you, not wanting to drag this out any longer than necessary, extend your hand to him.

He watches your face attentively and then your hand, still surprised, to finally take it gently. His fingers intertwine with yours, sending an electricity throughout your body through his touch as he stands up.

You swallow hard, feeling your heart beating like crazy and nervousness invading your whole system. And without another word, you both head for the dance floor.

Then, everything around you fades away, the murmurs and laughter, even the music itself becomes a distant whisper, and only he remains, next to you.

He places a hand on your waist, his touch delicate, as if he doesn't want to do anything that could break this fragile instant. You take his other hand, intertwining it with yours and as you both begin to move to the rhythm of the music, you feel how a mixture of emotions floods each of your senses.

Aemond watches you, his eyes fixed on yours and with a nervous little smile on his lips, as if he can't believe this is really happening.

The music moves forward, slow, allowing you to glide in front of each other. As his steps synchronize with yours, the movements become smooth and natural.

And in a moment you realize that you both are completely absorbed in each other, as if nothing and no one could interrupt this bubble that surrounds you.

Finally, Aemond breaks the silence, his voice barely audible over the music and shy, watching you with a gleam in his eye.

"You look beautiful."

He says to you, his words so sincere and emotionally charged that you feel a surge of warmth wash over you.

You wish his words didn't make you melt. But they do. And everything about him, every gesture, his closeness, the firm, protective touch of his hand on your waist, the way he holds you, as if you were something precious and delicate, envelops and intoxicates you.

"Thank you," you reply, feeling a soft smile appear on your lips, "You too... you look very handsome."

He smiles, marking the dimples on either side of his cheeks.

"I wasn't expecting you to come over," he admits, his eyes revealing something between vulnerability and surprise.

The tone of his voice, so soft and honest, makes you feel a warmth you haven't experienced in a long time.

"I didn't know I would," you reply with a barely perceptible smile, "But I thought, maybe... I don't want to spend the night running away," you confess.

He nods, not looking away.

"I didn't want it to be like that either."

His hand on your waist pulls you slightly closer to him with a firm movement and the slight brush makes you aware of the closeness between the two of you.

You feel your thoughts cloud over and you let yourself become more enveloped by him, unable to help it.

His chin brushes your forehead and you feel that at any moment your heart will jump out of your chest. It's an insistent, powerful beat that seems to resonate with every breath you take at his side.

Then, Aemond lowers his voice, his tone becoming softer, almost melancholy, as if his words are a secret shared only between the two of you.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my date that day, you know? When I gave you the folder.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to be my date that day, you know, when I gave you the folder," he confesses, with a certain melancholy tone, "But I knew it wouldn't be fair to ask you that and I really didn't want to hurt you anymore."

The sincerity in his tone pierces you, and you feel your own barriers begin to crumble. You listen to him with your heart pounding, absorbing every word.

Aemond sighs and his fingers tighten slightly at your waist.

"And a moment ago, when I saw you so perfect and so beautiful in this dress... I realized how much I wished I had walked through those doors with you on my arm," he says with a longing and sadness.

The music continues to envelop you and you feel his confession reverberate through you, intensifying every sensation, every emotion.

The strength of his words, of the connection that has been created between the two of you in the middle of this song, makes the air seem thick and charged with meanings that don't need to be explained.

Then you raise your gaze to him and you both stare at each other in silence, where your words seem to get caught in your throat.

His eyes roam over your face, as if he wants to remember every detail, as if he wants to take this moment with him. There is a sadness and a softness in his gaze that you haven't seen before, and it makes something in your chest tighten.

And again his voice breaks through the soft silence that envelops you.

"I'm sorry... for everything," he says barely a whisper, laden with a sincerity that resonates deeply.

His fingers trace slow circles on your back, small gestures that seem to try to comfort you and to comfort him too. The contact between the two of you is firm and warm, and yet, you feel as if Aemond fears that at any moment this could disappear.

For a moment, the music seems to fade, leaving only your heartbeat and the echo of his voice in the air.

You feel the urge to speak, to say something that would ease the vulnerability on his face, but you find it difficult to organize your thoughts.

Instead, you opt for a simple but meaningful gesture. You propel yourself a little towards him and leave a soft kiss on his cheek, then rest your head on his chest and gently inhale his expensive cologne, being comforting enough for you.

"It's okay," you murmur.

He lets out a sigh of relief, mixed with longing and makes his grip on your waist tighter, not wanting to let go. Then, he leaves a soft kiss on the crown of your head, resting his head on yours as you both continue to sway gently to the music.

"Thank you for giving me this dance," he murmurs.

You place a soft, small smile on your lips, then raise your gaze to his, watching him with nothing but fondness.

He continues to watch you with that softness and one of his hands goes up to your cheek. In a delicate, almost fearful touch, his thumb runs over your skin in a gesture that is both protective and vulnerable.

Then he rests his forehead against yours and you both close your eyes, as you lean into him.

You both fall silent, letting the slow rhythm of the music carry you away, allowing the moment to linger, in a fragile and honest peace.

You feel that you could stay like this, in this bubble of time and silence, without the need for words, because, in this instant, you both understand what has been said and what doesn't need to be said.

The song changes to another slow one and you both lose yourselves in the moment, enjoying it, not wanting it to end.

Time seems to stand still as you dance together, moving slowly and leisurely, as if nothing and no one else exists. The sounds of the party fade around you, leaving only the beating of your hearts and the faint brush of your breaths.

Your eyes close as you let go, feeling his hand on your back and the warmth his body gives off, so close and so full of meaning.

You both breathe in sync, your foreheads resting against each other, your eyes closed as the moment stretches out and becomes more than just a dance.

This instant is a truce, a refuge where everything else, the doubts, the pain, the past, is suspended and what follows is moving forward.

"You've got everything ready to go to college?"

His voice breaks the silence softly, barely a murmur, as if afraid to disturb the peace around you both.

"Yeah," you murmur, nodding.

"What are you traveling there on?"

"Well, I was checking with my dad about bus and plane ticket prices. But I still haven't made up my mind," you admit, remembering discussions about which was the safest and cheapest option.

Aemond nods, thoughtfully. Then, after a brief pause, he speaks with calm assurance.

"I can take you."

You look at him instantly surprised, definitely not expecting that.

"What?"

"I can take you," he repeats, sure of his words, "Well, sure, if you want," he hastens to clarify, "After all, we're going to the same place and I'll make the trip in my car," he explains, "There's plenty of room for your bags along with mine and so you won't have to spend on a ticket. Besides, it would be safer and I think, I don't know, you'd be more comfortable."

You remain silent, trying to assimilate what he has just said. There is something in his words, in the slow and sincere tone, that strikes a deep chord in you.

The idea of making the trip together, of sharing that important moment of departure, of having one last time alone before facing a new life, awakens a mix of emotions that are difficult to describe.

He lowers his gaze for a moment, nervous, clarifying in a low voice.

"It's just a suggestion... something I thought might make things easier for you. You don't have to do it if you don't want to."

Your heart pounds, and somehow, the simplicity of his offer, the naturalness with which he cares for you, causes a warm surge of gratitude and affection to wash over you.

"Can you really do that for me?" you ask quietly, with a little smile you can't help.

"Sure," he says absurdly softly, as if it weren't obvious, "But only if you want me to. I don't want to force you. It's just an option."

You look up at him, holding his gaze for a second that seems like forever, and nod slowly, allowing the feeling of relief and closeness to wash over you.

"I'd love to," you whisper, your voice barely a murmur, "Thank you."

The shadow of a smile tugs at his lips, and you can see the relief in his expression.

"No need to thanks."

Without another word, Aemond pulls you a little closer to him and again the two of you bring your foreheads together, letting the moment lengthen as the music changes to another slow rhythm.

You both remain like that, moving in silence and enjoying the moment, spending the last moment of your high school lives together, to start college together.

"Are you ready?"

Aemond watches you from the driver's seat, his hands resting calmly on the steering wheel with a small smile on his face.

The car is already loaded with suitcases for both of you and you nod, taking a deep breath to calm the emotions fluttering in your chest.

The thought of heading off together towards this new stage causes a mixture of nerves and excitement to wash over you, though a part of you also feels comforted by Aemond's presence at your side.

"Yes," you reply, adjusting your belt.

You watch him and he gives you one last knowing look before putting the car in move.

Saying goodbye to your dad was difficult, but it was something you were both already preparing for and you knew that moment would come.

Besides, he met Aemond, as your friend who will do you the favor of driving you to college and nothing more. And your dad felt safer with that instead of taking the plane or bus alone.

Especially after Aemond promised him countless times that he would take care of you at all times.

The road is serene at first, and Aemond turns on the radio, letting a soft melody fill the comfortable silence between them.

The roads stretch out in front of you, long and exciting, as the landscape changes shape and the kilometers pass, leaving behind the city where you experienced so much.

From time to time, you exchange glances, small comments about the places you see and the expectations each has for the university.

Aemond seems especially careful, attentive to every sign on the road and every change in your expression, as if he wants to make sure you are comfortable and at ease.

And he especially notices a change in your expression.

"Is something bothering you?" he asks you, his voice low but close, filling the space in a comforting way.

You watch him and after some hesitation, you shrug.

"I guess it makes me a little nervous not knowing what to expect," you admit, "This whole new stage... the idea of being alone in a new place."

Aemond nods, understanding what you mean, his eyes fixed on the road.

"I guess it's normal," he tells you softly, "It's almost obligatory to feel this way, but, for what it's worth... you won't be completely alone."

His gaze meets yours for a second before he turns back to the road.

"I'm going to be around if at any time you need anything or anything happens, anything at all."

You feel a warmth settle in your chest, and a part of your nerves seem to fade. The idea of him being there, close by, offering you that closeness, gives you a strange sense of relief.

"Thank you, Aemond," you murmur with a small smile.

He smiles, marking a dimple in his cheek, and turns his eyes to the front.

The ride continues, where the atmosphere in the car becomes more and more comfortable, chatting about small details, expectations, and the occasional joke that makes you both laugh comfortably.

And finally, as the two enter the town of Oldtown and the university looms in the distance, Aemond slows down, looking at the campus that would soon become his home.

"There it is," he says, a slight excitement in his voice.

The same excitement rubs off on you and excitedly, you take his hand, intertwining it with yours, excited and hopeful.

Hopeful that all that is to come for you in this place are good and promising things. As well as hopeful for Aemond and for you.

series taglist:

@melsunshine @at-a-rax-ia @jxdegodfrey @ttkttt @yentroucnagol @kate-to-the-ki @iamavailablesstuff @bluerskiees @urmomsgirlfriend1 @toodlesxcuddles @rosie-posie08 @iloveallmyboys @bellaisasleep @deliaseastar @cupcakesminicakescupcakes @dixie-elocin @lilostif16 @wickedfrsgrl @a-beaverhausen @saturnssrings @ladythornofrivia @vhwyrm @strangersunghoon @queen-of-elves

[syncopein3d]

Left Alone 1: Abandoned

Author's note: This originally came as a reply to this prompt, but I thought I'd give it its own beginning for easier linking on my masterpost page. I did a poll here to decide who finds Tolly, and it just wrapped up, so here we go!

Tropes/content warnings: vampire whumpee, male whumpee, non-binary caretaker, morbidity or thoughts of death. There will be a lot of play with, and discussion of, the concept of consent in this series, as it applies to many topics. Mostly we're talking about consent to be bitten, but being bitten in this universe varies from "mild discomfort" through "multiple climaxes" and I don't know where the story will end up yet, so I think it's important to be clear going in. If there's more specific gore etc., I'll try to also do content notes as it comes up. “Stay in this room.”

It wasn't a large room. It was the width of the basement, but shallower, so that he could lie full length on the floor in one direction but not the other. He was six feet and a handspan tall. Six feet and a handspan long, if he didn't lift his arms. He would have needed a special coffin, or he must needs lie curled up inside it, not stretched regally in state. He would never have a coffin at all. That would have meant an end.

It wasn't a large room. It wasn't particularly well decorated. There was no silk paper on the walls down here, just bare stone encrusted with mold and damp. There was a rug. It was old when he was shut up inside, the dark green and gray colors faded, pipe dottle burns scorching several spots. He knew each one by heart, and had often speculated as to their respective age and how far apart they had happened back when this rug stood in front of the fireplace in the upstairs study. He had counted every single thread and every single strand of every single dull golden tassel. It only took him a couple of minutes, so he did it often. He had never been thwarted by throwing down a handful of seeds, not Bartholomaeus Bardulf. The debate as to whether he should stop counting the thread he had pulled from one side to play cat's cradle with raged on for some time. Eventually he had painstakingly weaved it back in, a tiny bit at a time, with his long nails, just to end the torment of uncertainty.

It wasn't a large room. There was no window, because that might have ended his suffering. Black Tolly only knew day from night by the dragging of his limbs, the need to lie down and cease for a while. He never fought it. It was time away from this place. Sometimes while he lay dead, he dreamed, and sometimes in his dreams he was outside. Every time he arose from lying on his back on the rug, hands neatly folded across his once-white shirt, he scratched a marking into the wall.

It wasn't a large room. Besides the rug, there was only a table in the corner and a single chair. They were plain furnishings, the sort of straight peg-and-groove stick construction you would want for something that needed to last a long time but didn't need to impress anyone. The chair was not for him. It was for his old friend Nicholas, who had left him down here for the last time three thousand, six hundred and twenty days ago. It was where Nicholas would sit when it was time for the needle and the vials.

Bartholomaeus Bardulf missed the needle and the vials. They had been an interruption of the monotony of his days. Sometimes, with new blood fresh in his mortal veins, the years crawling backward across his face, Nicholas would stay and talk to him. Tolly was polite. He had no power to be otherwise while the charm of Nicholas' voice held him in thrall, while Nicholas wore the old gold ring with the glittering ruby stone. He did not even resent this after the first six hundred days or so.

“Stay in this room,” he always said, when it was time to go. He never said “goodbye, Tolly.” Because they both knew he would be back. At least, Black Tolly had been sure of that. And then, three thousand, six hundred and twenty days ago, Nicholas had departed and never come back. And then Tolly had nothing, no meals of barely warm, half-congealed animal blood brought him in the same glass bottle, no moral debates as he paced the far wall and watched Nicholas grow younger, no pleading for his long eternity to end. Blood of cow and pig was not enough, not what Nicholas had promised him, and he gradually weakened on it, but it was better than nothing. On nothing at all he grew thin and withered and gray, his hair a few white strands clinging to his yellowed scalp, his canines permanently large and prominent with his thirst.

It wasn't a large room. There was nothing to see, nothing to do. Even for a creature like Bartholomaeus Bardulf, Black Tolly, Bardulf the Bastard, an old monster with the patience of the long dead, to keep sane you needed something. You needed anything at all. He made his marks on the wall. He counted his threads. He carved in the opposite wall with his talons, because those did not weaken as he began to dry up. Now there was an elaborate mural of curlicues and arabesques there, leering grotesques peering from the stylized vines and bushes of the forest of his mind. More than one of them had the face of Nicholas, beautiful, beloved, despised, hateful Nicholas.

And then, on the three thousand, six hundred and twenty-first day of his captivity, he heard noises from upstairs. Tolly threw himself at the secret door, screaming, pleading hoarsely, but the stone walls were too thick, and no one heard him. No one heard him scraping at the clean wall, ruining the smooth expanse of the moldering stones where he might have begun another mural in time. No one heard him pounding. His strength had waned with time, but still he paced, intent on every smallest sound.

When he heard the faintest echo of footsteps, detectable only to a creature with such exquisitely tuned hearing as the old monster, he threw himself against the secret door, milk-white eyes unblinking and intent on the smallest crack. He didn't really expect it to open. He was hoping for some scrap of scent, some sound of breath, some tantalizing agony to at least give him something to think about for the next hundred days. It utterly shocked him when it began to open. He darted backward into the far corner beyond the rug, crouched at the foot of his mural, and watched the door swing open.

“Stay in this room,” Nicholas had said. And he could not cross the threshold, could not even reach across it with his long, bony arms. But then the scent of fresh, living blood smote his nostrils, and he hurtled across his cell in a frenzy, desperate for it. And came up short just before the door, hissing in agony as every muscle in his body contorted in absolute refusal to move further.

For a second the stranger – exquisite, delicious creature, like Nicholas, savoring of life and health – was confronted with a gangly cadaver in a dusty once-white shirt and the tattered remains of a gray suit that had once been an expensive bit of tailoring, the narrow lapels immaculate, the trousers to bag at the knee just ever so. He never took the jacket off. The thirstier he was, the more he felt the cold in his dead bones. Part 2: Discovery

[toxic-ship-tournament]

ROUND 2 / SIDE A / POLL 4

Harry Harcourt x Dr. Vincent DuFresne (@certifiedwerewolf) vs Amaro x Calamari (@hottopicabbacchio & @corpsoir)

who makes up your ship?:

Harbinger "Harry" Harcourt/Dr. Vincent DuFresne

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

OKAY SO. In WDWD we're introduced to Vincent FIRST, he's the ex-fiance of the protagonists' uncle and we learn from his brief appearances and the comments from the uncle that he's a bad dude. He's a doctor and a scientist and he sooooo wants to be able to experiment on people and modify them, but not in a "safe and thoroughly researched to mitigate risks" way, like, he wants to take people apart and put them back together in new and exciting ways. He's also just like a shit person, like manipulative and controlling and we get hints of this from, again, the uncle, who used to be engaged to him and Vincent still blames his ex coworker for homewrecking (Josef didn't not homewreck, but not the way Vincent implies, he just helped Nick realize how Vincent was treating him wasn't right and supported him in ending things, you know the drill). ANYWAY. Enter Harry: when we first meet him, he's a humanoid frog man, and then we realize he's got a scorpion tail (the frog and the scorpion, get it, do you get it?), and he mentions that they're "gifts from the good doctor" and "a reward for his good service" and you think, oh, I've got the lay of this land! Vincent gaslight gatekept girlbossed Harry into being his human guinea pig! And for like five minutes this seems to be the case, but the more we see of Harry the more it starts to seem like, hmm, maybe not? Maybe they are just both fucked? ANYWAY AGAIN, eventually Nick makes a comment about "what Vincent did to Harry", and Vincent is like. "You think this is MY doing? He was like that when I got him! I've been holding him back!" Because it turns out that when Vincent started talking "hypothetical" body modifications with this guy who had just gotten out of top surgery and realized "oh he's kinda fucked up, I bet I can groom him into being my human guinea pig <3" what that same guy was thinking was "oh this doctor is so handsome and fucked up, I should introduce him to the immortal witch queen with a goddess complex that I serve/worship and induct him into my cult so we can be together", which he then did because she gave Vincent the freedom to pursue his fucked up dreams of experimenting on humans (other experiments: guy who turns into a dire wolf, girl who can project people's fears into their brains, cyborg fairy changeling boy).

ANYWAY AGAIN AGAIN here are some more things about my nasty boys so you understand what I mean when I say they're Like That(tm): 1. Harry murdered his parents when he was ten, because he had the thought that he probably could and could get away with it, so he wanted to test this. He was correct, and the resulting chain of events (and murders) was what eventually drew the immortal witch queen with a goddess complex's attention to him, because she's always on the lookout for these sorts of kids that she can groom into serving her. Then she actually got to know him and was like "oh he's already fucked up, I don't actually have to do any work here". She has been holding him back most of his adult life because he only kills people when she tells him to and that is definitely a step up from how he was before she got him, when he killed people just cause he felt like it and wanted to see what would happen. 2. He can crawl on ceilings and he loves to do this and sometimes he does it to annoy the rich manbrat that the Queen keeps around to run their social media accounts because tormenting Lyall Knox is his third favorite passtime, after serving his Queen and fucking Vincent on every available surface in the tower until the Queen needs a break and calls in a cleaning crew to hose everything down and she orders them not to touch each other again until she says otherwise, which he's always obedient about because he will do anything she tells him to. Poor Vince getting cucked by his cult leader. He deserves it he's terrible. 3. They, alongside the guy who can turn into a dire wolf, raised the changeling cyborg and the fear projection girl, and were terrible guardians. After the kids get free they talk about him clinging to their ceiling to watch them sleep (and is the reason they sleep in shifts, and share a bed) and while they never get explicit, they will sometimes refer to him wanting to "play" with them which implies some kind of game where torture was the prize.

4. Once took the last pudding cup so one of his coworkers glued him to the ceiling and it's implied he got down by simply peeling off the skin where it was stuck. 5. Wants to be stuffed and mounted and displayed in his Queen's Gallery of Former Minions upon his death. 6. Vincent calls him "Darling" and "Darling Harry" and "My Darling". 7. Speaking of Vincent! The cyborg boy I mentioned? One of only two people who have ever successfully had that process done on them. The other is the aforementioned uncle; Vincent was on the team that did it and it was highly experimental and only succeeded because of the healing magic that his friend gave him that kept him alive after most of his body was crushed. In THIS case it was because the fairy boy's 'old man' had tried to cure of him of his iron weakness by what we will delicately call 'exposure therapy' and caused his organs to start shutting down and some of his limbs to atrophy. Vincent saved his life, but only because his Queen had plans for him and would be mad if he died. But also because he wanted the chance to study changeling organs, so after he replaced the ones that he needed to, he kept the old ones so he could study them. So somewhere in the tower there's just a fridge with this kid's old organs and limbs in it. 8. I cannot stress hard enough that everyone's assumption about Vincent gaslight gatekeep girlbossing Harry into being his human guinea pig WAS ACTUALLY HIS PLAN. This is not a case of him getting accused of something he wouldn't do, he WOULD and WAS GOING TO, it just wasn't NECESSARY because he was ALREADY LIKE THAT. 9. But also. I want to make this clear. They are in love of one another. Vincent would burn the world to the ground to make Harry happy. Harry would kill for Vincent, or more importantly he would NOT kill, if you catch my meaning. He would do anything short of betraying his Queen for Vincent. They love each other so much. 1o. Another of Harry's modifications is the ability to purr, which he got just so Vincent could hold him and pet him and he could purr about it. Also sometimes they fuck on the ceiling. Vincent always gets lightheaded from the bloodrush from being upside down, but anything to indulge his darling. Oh also he gave him the owl's ability to turn its head all the way around. It is never not creepy to watch him do.

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

They are very recent and I mostly work on them in my Discord server so I have not spoken about them much in public. But here is a post I made about them. https://certifiedwerewolf.tumblr.com/post/710932519216889856/by-the-way-im-not-calling-them-freaks-because-of Also here are some more images I did of them for reference https://www.tumblr.com/certifiedwerewolf/714005888634093568/cant-remember-if-i-ever-posted-all-of-these-but-i?source=share

****

who makes up your ship?:

amaro (he/him, by hottopicabbacchio) calamari (he/they, by corpsoir)

why does your ship deserve to be considered the most toxic?:

Amaro used his stand (make you fall in love) on a lot of people, Calamari came around and he used his stand on them for one night too, but Calamari kept coming back after the effect wore off so Amaro continued to use his stand for a bit being afraid of him leaving/because he thought it would be fun. Eventually, Amaro realized that he had stopped using his stand on Calamari and actually fell in love with them. They have a good 3 year run where they're together and fine and in love UNTIL. one day going on a job for information (mafia business), Amaro is talking/flirting some of the information out of the guy theyre after and Calamari over hears some guys talking about how "Amaro is after another one" and how they had been affected by his stand power before. It gets Calamari thinking if Amaro had used his stand on them before (yes, but only at the beginning) and they start thinking that the whole relationship had been a lie. They get in a big argument - Calamari confronting Amaro while Amaro desperately tried to prove to Calamari he hadn't been using his stand for years - and they end up breaking up. After about a month, Amaro gets worried about not seeing Calamari around and goes to their apartment that he still haa the spare key too and goes inside to find him. Instead, he finds a mess and Calamari eating cold pizza in an empty bathtub alone. Calamari half agrees for Amaro to stay and help them clean, which they assume and know thats the only reason they would have come, and doesnt believe Amaro about their relationship no matter what he tries to say. Over time - a cleaning session maybe once a week or so with Calamari making as little talk to Amaro as possible and Amaro just wanting to make things right again - Calamari suddenly realizes that he might be falling in love with Amaro again and confronts him about using his stand again and tells him to show her to them. Amaro had made a vow to himself to not use his stand around Calamari ever again, but caves and shows Calamari that the swords (where his stand power is) are all still there. Currently, they are working on getting back to how they were before, but there is still Issues and Problems <3 They both want it back but Calamari still cant trust Amaro but Amaro had never been in love with someone like that before

ship tags/playlists/pinterest boards?:

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4AcBeDHX48BYcmdda13KNL?si=fkg9IR4NT5Klw4bUt-0QoQ&utm_source=copy-link playlist by hottopicabbacchio, character tags on both op blogs under amaro avvoltoio and calamari pavone

[youtube-fucker]

And that's everything, yippee!!! If you enjoyed watching what I made and want to play it then, uh… sorry you're gonna have to wait a while. Some spells aren't made yet and selling is busted and will crash, and like I said, I'm not that good of a programmer (a lot of stuff was copy-pasted)… HOWEVER I do have a second mod planned that WILL be playable before being fully completed because I'll most likely make a full demo for it! If there's enough interest in THAT one, I may make a second blog to just post about it, including updates, asks for opinions (I'm gonna be making some new sound-based things), and other silly little things (and maybe also cries for help if need be). The next mod does have a name, unlike this one, and will be called "Undertale Yellow: Dual Justice" (yes, I do mean with a UA sound and not an OO sound, but OO can make sense under certain circumstances). The naming convention will be made clearer either when the demo is posted and/or if I make that second blog. Which ever comes first. HOWEVER, I do have a leetol thing to share that I finished during this event. Be nice because it probably isn't fully finished yet, but I think it sounds good!

Teehee~ I am quite proud of it. Feel free to give feedback, I need to improve in the music making field heavily for this mod (is making three, technically five, songs for it)

...

...

...

Actually… if… if I can be transparent for a moment… I had never thought that I would have any form of impact in my life. Even since I was young, I had basically accepted that I would likely die in obscurity; a nobody barely remembered. But… ever since I found this AU, I know that won't happen. I may die relatively unknown, but I'll die knowing that I made people happy; that I was able to affect someone. When I was young, I would always make plans-little more than childish delusions-about making something game related. Those plans always fell through. And now one of them is close to fruition. I've finally accomplished one of my childhood dreams. If I hadn't sent my first anon about how a human Clover and monster Clover would react to meeting; if it had been answered directly and not with some philosophical bit, I wouldn't be here now. It's crazy to think about how, if just one tiny, tiny thing had been different, then your life would be so wildly different. Our choices define us, especially tiny ones at random moments. Those ones are the ones that can make the biggest impacts. So… I guess what I'm trying to say is… I'm so glad that this happened to me, that I was able to not end up how I thought I might have. That I was able to have such a positive impact on others. Not just with this, but for other things as well. If I had never started interacting with this AU, I wouldn't have met some of my closest friends. At least, not in the way I have. There were some that I had seen around, but never really interacted with. This silly little creature has allowed me to grow so much and improve in ways I never thought possible. Heck, I probably never would have even discovered my talent for pixel art if it weren't for this! I literally only started just to make them walk for fun! And now I've made a whole ass mod that I honestly wasn't even sure if I would publish or not at first! I just… I just have a lot to owe to this game and this AU. Thank you, Undertale Yellow. And thank you Ray. I love you (platonic) both. I'm sure I will never, EVER, forget this.

That's… that's all I got. Originally I was gonna have a poll about if I should make that second blog, but I literally started to cry writing that so I don't think now would be a good time, haha. So I guess… have this little thing I made as a sort of poster. You guys can tell me if you'd want that second blog or not. I just… I think I might need to take a hot second to just. let myself feel emotional and vulnerable… (asks will be off until I get home from school) I eagerly look forward to when both this mod and the next mod are finished, and to see how people react to it!

[what-if-nct]

hellooo today's reminder is 1. i will always be thankful for Minho boobies 2. i have the second try subscription it's so good!! i literally just finished watching the new escape the kitchen. alsooo i was super bummed i missed out on their live Romeo and Juliet and i watched it on here and when I tell you it was the most entertaining few hours of my life i am not exaggerating. i did not pick up my phone once, which i thought was impossible now. and 3. walk!! new 127 album that i will get to at some point!! but i love the mv, it's so fun, everyone is pretty and i love how they incorporated taeil into the scenes even though he wasn't dancing instead of putting him in front of a green screen and telling him to lip sync. i really like the song, although maybe because the chorus is so catchy and stuck in my head, the first couple times i heard it I thought it felt repetitive but no. solid comeback. i love love love seeing everyone getting screentime also, they've definitely slowly been improving sticker onwards

Hiii, I watched the new escape the kitchen this morning, i loved it keith and Marissa might be my favorites and are always a delight. 2nd try has been perfect for dinner time when i dont have anything to watch while i eat cause theres so much i need to catch up on i watched the without a recipe finale last night. Gonna be honest i really didn't like the cursed and blessed polls i want to see them mess up on their own. I hope they don't do it again. Yesss immediately i loved the song and music video and when johnny and jungwoo does the verse, yeah those are my boys. I love how they kept taeil involved even in the reels like the one where he on the balcony. I also love how they incorporated taeyong in everything. Also i don't think ive seen an idol as present on social media while during their service as much as taeyong. I cant even miss him and i love that.

Oh also last night i had a dream and i had came back from a hair appointment and you has came over and we had just hung out and talked and made lunch and a few of my other friends came over and it was such a cute.

[help-im-a-gay-fish]

OK! THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVOURITE FLUFFYNIGHTKILLER HEADCANNON I'VE COME UP WITH.

My people, I love this and I hope you do. Its a long one, but I promise its worth it.

So ever since I read this head cannon from @yuriyuruandyuraart I've had one nagging thought.

Polygamous marriage is illegal.

So as much as I loved this story of them getting engaged, they couldn't ever get married, but I didn't wanna rain on everyone's parade so I kept it to myself. Until now!

While talking with @jann-the-bean I came up with this and Jan loved it! So I hope you guys do to.

So imagine that the 3 of them are going around telling their friends and family about their engagement, in the classic happy kind of way. It's all well and good, Dream is thrilled to find out his brother is so happy. However, then he realises the law and Dream pulls his brother aside.

Dream "Uhh Night...Can I talk to you?"

Nightmare "yeah?"

Dream "I'm so happy that you got engaged brother.."

Nightmare "........."

Nightmare "but?"

Dream "but..... But isn't Polygamous marriage illegal?"

Nightmare "......."

And that was the glass shattering moment. Dream wasn't trying to be cruel or anything like that. He was just generally concerned that Nightmare hadn't thought of that.

So later that night, Nightmare brought it up to his partners and of course both of them where upset when they remembered that law. So began a long talk about what they could do. In the end Ccino mostly just said that it didn't matter to him if they were married, so long as they were together. Since he's still just a small city boy, he didn't really see that there was to much they could do, he was content to just maybe have a ceremony where they promise to be life partners, but not marry.

Nightmare and Killer on the other hand were not satisfied with that.

That Night, when Ccino was asleep the two got to talking. I like to think that over the years that Nightmare and Killer have become icons for the poly community, much like Elton Jon is one for the gay community. The two of them decided that they were going to use this to fight for the right to marry each other.

It started small. Posts on social media, comments in interviews. They started speaking out that they should be allowed to be wed. Because they loved each other and the law shouldn't stop them. There where online polls and campaigns as their fan base who had been a huge fan of the throuple started to back them up.

This is when Ccino became alerted to what they were doing. He was scared that they could damage their reputations and careers over this. He told them that he wasn't worth everything they were risking. That if they really wanted to get married, the two of them could and he'd just keep being their boyfriend.

They told him no and then lovingly told him to shut up and they would take care of it.

So began the start of a long legal battle, which all together spanned about 2 years. From when they first started talking about it online, to when the find judgment was made. They were denied.

In the end the court ruled that if polygamy was legalised, it would cause alot of issues. Its a taboo for a reason, and some people would just abuse it for their own gain.

Both Killer and Nightmare were heart broken. Ccino told them that he was so proud of them for trying and that he loved them more then ever. But Killer and Nightmare were still really upset.

This upset Ccino, because he'd seen how hard they had worked and as he thought over everything, he realised that he was actually irritated himself. In fact, he was a little angry. So now it was his turn to say No.

Ccino "you know what? No!"

Killer "what?"

Ccino "they said they couldn't legalise it because people would abuse the system"

Nightmare "yeah?"

Ccino "well I say No! That doesn't apply to us. You aren't some guy who wants a bunch of wives. We are 3 people who all love each other equally. We should have the right to marry"

Killer and nightmare "........"

Killer "we thought you said that you were ok with it"

Ccino "I'm not. Of course I'm not! I want to marry you both! "

So this prompted them to start a new campaign. If Polygamy couldn't be legalised for everyone, then they was campaign for the court to give the 3 of them legal right to marry. If a man could get the rights to marry himself (true story) and a women could be granted the right to marry a building (again, true story) then the 3 of them should be granted permission to marry.

So they took it back to court and this time Ccino took a more active roll in it, though Nightmare and Killer were more dominant. Ccino appeared with Nightmare and Killer in some interviews, but even if his mental health was much better at this point, he still couldn't fully handle all the pressure. But he put in a lot of work behind the scenes to help his partners in the case.

They Luckily still had the support of the public. They argued that they didn't want to abuse the system, they didn't want to have the bunch or wives or a bunch of husbands. They were 3 people who all loved each other deeply and just wanted to be married to each other.

Imagine the judge in court asking them why they wanted to make it legal to marry Ccino and why they couldn't just date him. And Killer just stands up like.

"dude have you seen him!? Who wouldn't want to make that fluffy marshmallow their husband?"

Then as Jan said this leaves poor Ccino (who is sat next to him) just a blushing mess and he says “Killer, don’t be so loud it’s embarrassing..”

Meanwhile, nightmare staring the judge dead in the eyes.

“I agree he’s to adorable not to marry, I mean if we don’t marry him someone else may try to steal him. And I refuse to let that happen”

(thanks for these ideas Jan)

After another 2 years or so of fighting for it. After all the public backing and the long process. Killer, Nightmare and Ccino are finally granted the right to marry.

Just imagine Nightmare trying to keep composed in court, though his having a little party in his head, and Killer on the other hand just stand on his table in court like.

"yes! Ha!"

Then he points at Ccino "guess what fluffy buns! We are marrying you!"

Ccino is so shocked, but he's also so happy. He truly never would have dreamt of this happening.

The moment that Nightmare, Killer are handed over the legal documents, they don't waste a moment, they grab Ccino and jump straight into their car. Then they drive straight to Las Vegas to elope not stopping to change or pack any clothes or anything, because they don't want to wait a second longer.

Of course Ccino gets super flustered at their suggestion to elope.

Ccino "get m-married right now!? But don't you want to wait? And have some big celebrity wedding? You mentioned it before"

Nightmare "nope"

Killer "we've been engaged for over 4 years, we want to put a ring on it right now!"

Nightmare "we don't need a big wedding, or all that stuff. We just need you to say I do"

Nightmare and Killer "so... Will you?"

Ccino "......"

Ccino "YES!"

(though maybe they stopped to pick up dream on the way. Nightmare probably knows that Dream would kill him if he missed his wedding.)

So the 3 were married in a small Chapel. Nothing fancy, but for them it was perfect. They all agreed that they would probably host a proper reception and ceremony for their friends and family to attend later. But for now, they didn't need that, they just needed to be married. It was a very small simple thing.

They probably stayed in a Vegas hotel that night. Probably had some time to celebrate. I just imagine Killer waking the two of them up the next morning with breakfast he'd ordered like:

"Good morning Husbands"

And he just can't keep the smile off his face.

About a year later they have a more formal ceremony. Which of course is super fun. But for them it doesn't change that fact that their actual wedding was truly perfect.

And dam I just love those 3. Jan was the one who wanted me to share this with you guys and I really hope you like it as much as me.

Dam it Dream XD

BTW, I know this most likely isn't fully realistic to what the legal system is like, but give me a break. I’m not a lawyer, I’m a shipper. Its fiction, just let me have it.

studio verse by @zu-is-here

original nightmare by jokublog

original killer by rahafwabas

original ccino by black-nyanko 

Oh and @kotikaleo I'm sorry I forgot to tag you! You always as to be tagged in this stuff. Sorry idk if you saw it

[mindthump]

50 Work-From-Home Jobs Paying as Much or a Lot More Than the Average American Salary http://ift.tt/2Ded3G7

There was a time when working from home was a pipe dream. Thanks to technology like Slack, there’s been a surge of legit jobs you can do from home.

Whether that’s working remotely for a company or starting your own business there’s no shortage of work-at-home opportunities. Here are 50 work from home jobs that most make above the average American salary.

1. Affiliate Marketer

For those unfamiliar with affiliate marketing, it’s simply referral marketing where you earn a commission. Let’s say that you have a website and refer a book on Amazon. When the visitor clicks the affiliate link and buys the books, Amazon will pay you a percentage of the sale.

People love affiliate marketing because you can start earning money passively with little start-up costs.

Related: 5 Ways to Ensure Remote Employees Feel Part of the Team

2. Animator

Are you an artistic and creative individual who is able to create animation and visual effects for television, movies, video games, and other types of media? Then you can work at home as freelance animator. I’ve seen animators make between $25 to $106 an hour on sites like Upwork.

3. Baker/Caterer/Chef

If you have a knack for baking or cooking, then turn your passion into a side business. From your own kitchen you could start a catering or personal chef business. If you’re a baker, you could sell you goods to friends, neighbors, online, or at local farmer’s markets.

4. Blogger

Blogging is inexpensive and easy to start. It could be as simple as you just writing about your favorite music or food. Eventually, this hobby can start generating some money for you.

Just keep in mind that you need to pay patient when it comes to cashing-in on your blog. If this is something you want to pursue, check out this guide from the person who taught me six-figure blogging. Zac took me from earning nothing blogging to a solid six figures in 18 months.

5. Bookkeeper

Believe it or not, you don’t have to be a CPA to start bookkeeping. Just sign-up for a bookkeeping course at a community college or even online, such as this course from the Accounting Coach. Once completed you can start making a start earning. The median salary is $34,000. There are some stay at home bookkeepers I've talked with making upwards of $70,000.

6. Child Caregiver

I’m sure that you have more than enough friends, family, and neighbors who could use someone to watch their children. Whether if it’s just for a couple of hours or for the entire day, running a childcare business from your home can be lucrative. Just make sure that you obtain the correct licences and permits.

7. Clinical Research Coordinator

As noted in Business Insider, this is where you, "Assist in the management of daily clinical trials operations; provide oversight of all organization, clinical, site, and vendor activities; and manage trial master files." You can make over $48,000 and you don't need a bachelor's degree.

Related: Bashing the Stereotypes: What You Need to Know About Gen Z

8. Consulting

If you have experience and knowledge in a specific area, then share it with others. For example, if you’re an accountant or lawyer, then you can provide advice to small businesses for a pretty penny. You could also consult businesses on how to use a new software program or how to become more environmentally-friendly.

My company has this consulting guide to get started.

9. Customer Service Rep

Do you possess excellent communication skills? Do you also have a landline and reliable internet? Then you can earn between $8-$15 per hour as a customer service rep.

10. Data Entry

Inputting data for businesses isn’t the most of exciting of jobs. However, you don’t need any previous experience and you can start at $10 per hour.

11. Direct Salesperson

This will require a little investment upfront, but you’ll receive all the tools and resources to get started. However, you’ll receive 20 percent to 35 percent of sales in commissions. And, you can find a direct sales opportunity to match your passion since there are companies that sell jewelry, coffee, wine, pet products, or gardening supplies.

12. Ecommerce Store Owner

There are five types of eCommerce business models; dropshipping, wholesaling, manufacturing, white-labeling, and subscription. And, thanks to sites like Shopify, Magento, or WooCommerce, you can quickly launch your own ecommerce store.

13. Editing and Proofreading

Companies like Book in a Box pay $20 per hour to editors, book jacket designers, and proofreaders.

14. Event Planner

Whether if it’s planning a wedding, birthday party, or corporate event, people are looking for organized individuals to do most of the event planning for them.

Related: Learn the 4 Principles That Helped This Virtual Company Become One of the Best Cultures in America

15. Film and Post Instructional Videos

Are you really good at something? Then create a YouTube account and start filming yourself instructing others your unique skills. To start earning some cash, enroll in YouTube’s partner program so that you can make $1 to $2 per 1,000 hits.

16. Grant Writer

Universities, hospitals, and nonprofits are organizations that need to apply for grant money. Since these can be difficult to write, they turn to talented grant writers. As a grant writer you can make between $40,300 to $67,000 per year..

17. Graphic Designer

Businesses are in need of someone to design their logo, website, or visual ads. If you have a degree or certification in this area, you can make a comfortable salary or $45,000 annually. This is starting, the better you get, the more clients will refer other clients over to you. Here is a killer guide I put together on how to build a website that should help you get started.

18. Handmade Crafter

Do you make handmade products like jewelry or furniture? If so, set up an Etsy shop and start selling your handmade crafts online.

19. Instructor

Do you know how to play a musical instrument? Can you get people in shape? Whatever your knowledge or experience, people will pay you to share that information with them. Even if you don’t want people coming into your home, you could always start an online instructional program.

20. Internet Security Specialist

As an internet security specialist, you monitor networks for security threats and implement security standards. You may als install data protection systems as well. Given the attention that online security has been receiving, this job is expected to grow steadily over the next several years.

Related: How to Stay Motivated Working From Home

21. Online Juror

When attorneys prepare for a trial they often seek feedback on their case. Depending on the mock jury site, you can make between $5 to $150 for your opinion.

22. Online Teacher

Are you a teacher that’s looking for a more flexible schedule? Then consider teaching via Skype or in a pre-recorded session through organizations like K12 (K12.com) and Connections Academy (ConnectionsAcademy.com).

23. Patent or Intellectual Property Lawyer

Applying for a patent or protecting intellectual property are both areas where expert advice is needed. As such, if this is your area of the law, you can make between $112 per hour to $121 per hour.

24. Peer-to-Peer Lender

Thanks to sites like Lending Club and Prosper, you can easily lend money to a business or individual. As an investor, you make money on the paid interest of the note.

25. Pet Groomer

Do love being around animals? Are you also patient enough to clean and style pets? If so, this is a perfect home-based business.

Related: The Biggest Do's and Don'ts of Video Conferencing

26. Photographer/Videographer

Even though everyone has a camera on their phone these days, there’s still a need for these types of professionals like for events like weddings. You can also sell your images on sites like Foap.com.

27. Product Reviewer

This may sound too good to be true, but you can actually make a decent living just by reviewing the products that you use daily. In fact, you can earn between $20,000 to $95,000.

28. Programmer

Learning a programming language, such as Ruby, can make around $61 per hour. Not too shabby. If you’re interested, here’s a handy programmer guide to get you on your way.

29. Realtor

While you can run a reality business from your home, as long as you have your state’s real estate license, you still have to show potential buyers the home. And, don’t forget that you also have to prepare the home for showing too. However, thanks to technology, you can become a virtual realtor where you can show a property without having to physically be there.

30. Renter

Do you have an extra bedroom? How about a car you don’t drive everyday? Are there household items laying around collecting dust? If so, rent them out to people who could use them. I personally made over $50k renting out my basement in 2017.

31. Repairer

If you have a knack for fixing things, like bicycles, cars, or computers, then launch your own repair business. It probably doesn’t cost more than a little marketing to get started since you probably already have the tools and resources.

Related: 3 Ways to Keep Employees Productive at Home

32. Short Tasks

A short task is a job or assignment that can be completed quickly. Examples include writing a review, taking a survey, or watching a video. They may not pay much, but it’s a fast and easy way to make money from home. Here’s a list of short task sites you should check out if interested.

33. Social Media Manager

There are a lot of organizations who need someone to manage their social media accounts. Some organizations may even want you to completely develop a social media strategy for them.

34. Stylist

If you love fashion, and want to work from home, then you can become an online stylist. According to the Penny Hoarder, you can make $15 per hour.

35. Survey Taker

This won’t make you a millionaire. But you can get paid between $1 to $50 for taking an opinion poll, answering questions about shopping habits or reviewing a product. You’re usually paid by check, PayPal, or points that can be redeemed for gift cards.

36. Tax Preparer

Even though this is a seasonal gig, you can make a salary of over $30,000. Don’t forget to register with the IRS before you start this home-based business.

37. Become an Expert

Nowadays people are going online to find someone that is an expert at things they are struggling with. A growing trend is hiring an expert vs hiring a large company to come in and help them fix problems. A great resource that I've found is Catalant.

I've been able to hire some of the worlds leading experts from this site. Average hourly is from around $15 all the way up to $280/hr making this a great option if you're looking to help others with your knowledge.

Related: How This Mom Grew Multiple 6-Figure Businesses From Home

38. Telephone Nurse

If you’re a registered nurse, then you could work for health insurers or health management companies like Humana, Aetna and UnitedHealth Group. They actually hire nurses remotely to handle case management, treatment authorization, and patient education.

39. Transcriber/Transcriptionist

This job is essentially you just listening to audio files and then typing out what you are, such as a lecture or doctor's medical dictation. It’s an entry-level gig that can pay up to $25 per hour.

40. Translator

Are you fluent in another language? Start earning a living off of these skill by translating documents or being an interpreter.

41. Travel Agent

Despite the fact that there are numerous travel sites that make planning a trip a breeze, it can still be time-consuming. What’s more, there may be certain travel conditions that you are not aware of. That’s why there’s still a need for travel agent to scour the web for the best deals, share advice, or plan your itinerary.

42. Virtual Assistant

If you’re organized and can handle office duties like replying to emails, calendar management, entering data, and assisting with social media, then this job is perfect for you. And you can make between $10-$15 per hour.

Related: 4 Reasons Not to Be a Stiff About Employees Working From Home

43. Virtual Public Relation Rep

For small-to-mid sized businesses, they don’t have the budget for a dedicated CMO or VP of Marketing or even a public relations firm. But, they may have the funds to hire a virtual PR to take care of duties like promoting a business or managing a crisis.

44. Virtual Recruiter

This is pretty much the same position as an in-house recruiter - expect you get to work wherever you want. The other major difference is that you search the web to find the right employee for the right position. You’re also responsible for screening the applicant and being a part of the interviewing and negotiation process. There are even recruiters being paid upward of $125/hr for building resume templates.

45. Virtual Tutor

If you have extensive knowledge in a specific area, then you could earn between $12 to $35 per hour by tutoring students either over-the-phone or Skype.

46. Voice Acting

If you have a golden voice, you can make somewhere between $56 to $72 per hour.

47. Web Developer

Depending on the specific job, as well as your expertise, you could bring-in between $55,000 – $175,000 per year to build websites from scratch.

Related: The Legal Implications of Expecting Employees to Work After Hours

48. Web Search Evaluator

In order to deliver the most accurate search results, search engines pay individuals to analyze search results. You don’t have to have much experience and you can haul-in $12-$15 per hour.

49. Website Tester

Businesses want to make sure that their websites are intuitive and easy to navigate. As such, they’ll assign instructions for people to follow to check out their site. Each test usually takes around 15 to 20 minutes. In return, you’ll be paid $10 to $15 per test.

50. Writing Gigs

Businesses of all sizes need written content, like blog posts, website copy, or eBook. As a result, there are thousands of writing gigs available that pay anywhere between $10 to $100 per hour.

Related: 50 Work-From-Home Jobs Paying as Much or a Lot More Than the Average American Salary Is a Coworking Space Worth the Cost if You're Already Working From Home? 5 Ways to Work Remotely Without Being Overlooked

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

Yeah shit man who better to trust with Hercules than Gus-Gus and Gus?

They are amazing in Cinderella.

Its not the first time Christina Hendricks has used the Gus-Gus and Gus analogy on Declan and Annabelle.

It is always so dam cute y'all know Gus-Gus and Gus is always one of your favorites, you can't help but love their characteristics!

This one is hilariously greatly excellent!

And extremely visual!!

And you know i believed they could save him because her adorable hilarity is true but their actual size made them just tall enough to save him

Declan had a plan to jump in the tub to pick up his head from the front and send Annabelle to fetch me. The only thing Declan was unsure of and this is beautiful if the tub plug should be pulled first and him get cold while they waited or if Declan had enough strength "to hold this giant man up to save his life"

So Declan thought if they were fast enough to get very little water in his lungs and I took too long, Declan could stop holding the "giant man" long enough to pull the plug and then return to,his face to assess the damage then again. But Declan hoped the speed was in him "to save the giant man that Declan loved"

Because in your last video short it ended in Declan eavesdropping and opening the door to say "you can apologize to my face!"

And he did. Brian picked up Declan and said "I am sorry yoh are just too cute and I was too scared to realize every thing would be alright and when I saw your face in horror I actually felt bad but I didn't know how to show it tonight at dinner"

"Oh it's alright. You can put me down now"

Which resulted in Annabelle Tears because she, too, needed an apology but he hadn't realized it.

Then when things calmed down I felt a deep seriousness in the air which was very tactical and not dark nor light, tense but not relaxed but calm.

And so I asked "well what were your plans to save him then?"

And Declan went into the spill as I said above with great creative energy and it was mind blowing.

Declan and Annabelle were both So so small. I wouldn't had ever thought that they would climbed in the tub to save him and risk their own life if he woke up and thought they were terrorists in the middle east but Declan did consider that and Declan said "that was a risk I was willing to take -- he knew he was in the bath and you were there and stuff so I figured I would be safe if I just talked and said "this is Declan and I'm here to save you so you don't drown" I figured I ought to be generouslu safe then and I'm strong and I could say "open your eyes and he could see if it was me" but if I was behind, I would certainly be killed, my head in the toilet or something""

Declan had so Much care and compassion built into these plans to save him from drowning when I had had none.

And so we actually let them practice with him in the tub and all in bathing suits to help us all including Dan from drowning in the tub and we all learned how to lay to prevent our own drowning in the event of sleep.

Which Tree will produce that safety video for us. He said.

So it is also something you families can do at home in Quarentine.

Because hot baths are excellent for bone and muscle pain (healthcare and restaurants and store workers) and for the lungs to breathe and I have fallen asleep in December - March from just being exhausted from work and the stress of reducing human trafficking to zero. And apparently y'all even seen video of it.

Which was funny I am sure. But it felt so so so so good to fall asleep and it sucked having to wake up to wash my hair. Because the sleep was so good.

Declan now today says on 4-25-2020 "God i could had a heart attack but all i did was laugh but now I know why. I prepared you to sleep and not slip and slide and drown. Now i feel relieved and a deep safe darkness around my pride to protect me"

Blessed Child "i could had a heart attack but all i did was laugh" i love that so much and i love that we took the time to take all that worry and consideration to help erarse that super fear. It gives me joy. And fills my lungs and heart with oxygen rich cells.

Happiness can falter and fade away but Joy it always stays deep inside yoh to propel you into the future. Joy has a sunny presence while Happiness can exist in any conditions, joy can only exist in educated and true pure form of love and existence.

Rock the Vote gives me joy. Never wanting to be in politics but giving that ability to vote and reassure the African American and other immigrants that there is a group standing tall and strong behind them that sre as rich as politicians but want all races and ethnicities to vote as it is their Right. That gives me joy.

RockTheVote.org don't forget to register and vote. All immigrants and nationalities, African American and Latino, Caucasian. We stand behind you to give you the ability to vote and will defend you to our own death if anything happens to you like it did prior to 1970 and a few exclusions since. And if anything should happen we have some of the richest people in the world to stop what they are doing and help you survive a beating while in line to vote or suddenly thereafter. That is why i programmed it the way i did. Rock the Vote with rich musicians to say they have their life and they will share it to protect you if something bad should happen. And it did in the last 30 years very rarely but tree always told us of each and every event. And we stood behind that paying hospital bills and hiring private security to take people to vote and then installing security of our own at those polling stations for the future. And as i said, to our own death, our private security would beat and fight any one attacking any voter, especially one of any color. So Caucasians didn't have to witness it and be afraid to catch their own death.

So Rock the Vote gives me immense joy. Because we willingly and unselfishly destroy the fear and attacks against voters as it is our job.

Hopefully soon we can stop the illegal and false Voting. Registering to vote and then Voting can help. We have 2 Trillion U.S. residents with social security numbers ready to vote This year!!

Yall are all seeing what is on the news regarding Trump. I will be honest, Biden is who we need but if we could pick a different party other than the Republican (we will drop a vote later today)

So if half of the United States votes for Biden then the other half votes for a mixture of the minority parties then we can rise them up where they can be seen at more than 1% of the votes.

So maybe 3 good people running for president and they share 1/3 of half the votes. Thats 16% each with Biden at 50% That's kinda low.

But that would be fucking amazing and has never Been done in the history of America.

We can change the entire political system coming this November!

Isn't that exciting?!? That is what Ms Chen was talking about taking that power and harnessing it so the world would be safe for others. Including us...

That makes determination. That is our energy to create and show the power we possess with 2 Trillion American voters. 2/3 being full flesh human. 1/8 being honorary humans. A full 3/4 are guaranteed to live to see November 2020 to change the whole political system and destroy what it sets on.

So what tree will do is he says there are 5 candidates that are worthy due to their souls and hard work and humanitarian based minds. (Including Biden)

And so in DNA4U and in your testing and education area he will educate you of all 5 candidates

Then he will recommend who is best for you to vote for due to your heart and how and who you want to see in that beautiful oval office.

So he will make personal recommendations for each individual with DNA4U and has the ability to vote.

(We will keep Trump alive till then for the ultimate torture) and so tree tells me 99% of registered voters that should die of COVID will still be alive to vote. Some are evil and watched carefully. Others are not.

So us tiny Gus-Gus and Gus that we are as voters can pull a Declan (love that name today) and do a Ms Chen and hold our chins up high and destroy the national government's Democrat and Republican only system.

We can take those donkey and elephants and ride them out of town! Of course Biden is Democratic. But in 2024 he may change to his own small political party that suits him best.

So tree is gonna help us fulfill the ultimate American dream and Rock the Vote so hard the cradle falls from the tree.

Rock a bye baby? I always always sang that to Annabelle for hours if she couldn't sleep.

Rock a bye baby in the tree top, when the wind blows the cradle will rock. And when the Bough breaks the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all.

A New America.

Personally and for Rock the Vote, I always explained to Tree, Day One is the FREEDOM to vote and to NOT INFLUENCE on their decision to vote. But to encourage and protect.

However i told Tree of my Ultimate Dream which I have so declared. And he told me "when the time is right. Hindsight. Let's listen to Megadeth and you relax and get some sleep, when the time is right we will be ready. Its too far away now to explain. But sleep now my child"

He would also say "this is the 10th time you've told me this! I told you it's fine but not today!! Now go to sleep!"

You know we say our prayers before sleep. Think about what we did and what we need to do. While some of us don't see them as prayers, they are. I would not rest until the political system of the United States of America would and could change

And now it is the time, November 2020. This is the first time America has had So many voters. All with social security numbers because we've stopped human trafficking.

(For the most part) if they were found in the United States of America, they were issued social security numbers immediately. They were here working having their freedom taken away. So many are duel citizens. They earned the right to have a social security number. They lived and worked here against their will. And it is a law they are allowed to obtain a social security number for being kidnapped and put into human trafficking in the United States of America.

The law was put into effect by Obama and Biden during their administration. Biden complained they could do more but he didn't know what and Obama did. Social Security numbers and Citizenship. No testing required. The law was passed through Congress both the House in the Senate and Representatives. Should have been happening since 1882 because that was the law back then. Obama had it found and they reenacted it with a few minor updates and privileges. (1902 the law had been overturned by the then President and their political party which is now actually the Republican party).

This law will not be overturned because I will have tanks stationed at each fucking member of Congress to follow them around and let them know shit is gonna hit the fucking fan. I have more tanks than there are hospitals in the world. And I will kill each and every one that votes to overthrow the law. I shit you not. I have killed more people than Hitler. And with my bare hands in a mere two years killed 8,291 kidnappers. Kidnappers. So I'm very serious about protecting this law, I may look like a crazy psychopath but that is my right to do so.

In conclusion we can as small little mice, together, destroy an entire government. And we will with Tree's help.

As I said it is not the RIGHT of Rock the Vote to suggest who to vote for. But realize that Biden is a Vice President of 8 years and is against human trafficking and bull shit.

And so Tree will take care of that (suggestions on voting) because we have a total of 4.9 Trillion people who have the right to vote in the November 2020 election. And that is amazing. Never before in History has this been available.

And since most are first time voters Tree will guide you step by step and show you each candidate from birth. Including Trump and show you who they really are and not what they want you to see.

So only half our available voters are registered!!

If you left the country, tree will explain how you can still register as a duel citizen (rock the Vote isn't updated enough yet, hopefully they get onto that) in the DNA4U app.

He will do your personal suggestions first. Teach you all of them then have you review your suggestions. Then you can see and feel the difference heavily as to why those were ranked in that special way just for you.

He will do 2 ranking systems. 1 best for the world and 1 best fit of President of the qualifying 5 for your personality. Then he will suggest the vote for you to make to change the US government's political system.

So while Biden may be your heart. He may suggest a minor political party because Biden has too many votes already. Or vice versa.

So the suggestion MIGHT alter from your ranking system but he thinks it shouldn't have that effect as the world is more balanced and great minded than it seems to be.

So y'all are doing better than expected from 30 years ago's predictions.

So wrap that left arm around you if you're a guy and that right arm around you if you're a girl or whichever you pick, or do both and give yourself a right tight squeeze and a pat on the back. You all deserve it.

[sagebodisattva]

Severe Condemnation of Mediocrity

Yeah, it's a shame to have to say this, but somebody's got to do it. Not only for your own good, but also just to go on record as someone in the masses that finally said what needed to be said, concerning the pervasive permeation of rampant vapidity that has saturated the human consciousness. So, you know, the ole roll up the sleeves dirty job requirement thing.

The most shallow superficial individuals with the lowest intelligence concern themselves with people and gossip, the moderately shallow superficial ones with average intelligence concern themselves with places and events, but the truly wise conceptually deep ones with the highest intelligence concern themselves with concepts and ideas. I say this because sometimes people ask me:

“Sage, how come you never do videos about people or current events?”

And, I have to tell you, the reason is simple; because that kind of content is trite, shallow, superficial, air headed, mediocrity, that only appeals to the lowest common denominator; which means, of course, the majority; of which, I have absolutely no interest in appeasing, nor to whom, the appetite of which, I will not be catering to. I am here to wake people up from delusion, not to enable sleeping lemmings to get more comfortable in their delusion by serving up predictable cheesy junk food entertainment that telegraphs all its intentions, so as to be more easily consumed by lazy sedentary brains, that love to get banged over the head with sophomoric catchy unchallenging candy coated tripe, so as to mask the inner quiet desperation with some fake outward appearance of arrogant clever self satisfaction, which upholds a contrived self image as being one who is among those who fit in, and are accepted into some smug group, that imagines itself to be just so great, because it attracts so many others of the same type, of which, you can be sure, is a whole lotta people.

This is the essence of mediocrity, and it's not anything to applaud, condone, encourage or feed into. Mediocrity is the death knell of artistry and creativity, and is a omen of bloated decadence and the rapid decay of intelligence, wisdom, philosophy and mindfulness. We should be careful when maintaining standards of quality to not reward mediocrity, for this only gives it more motivation to repeat itself, which is what it's best at, for one of the great hallmarks of mediocrity is the constant rehash and regurgitation of anything that was previously popular; and in this regard, mediocrity knows no decency, or shame. It will beat a dead horse into a pulp, and then take the pulp and make it into a smoothie, and after you throw that up, it will take the vomit and incorporate it into an energy drink.

This is the degraded state of mainstream pop culture, which began it's gradual degenerative descent into insipid superficiality in 1980, and has gotten regressively worse and worse upon each passing decade. Things got so lame that, after 1999, we even lost our creativity in the clothing styles that usually reflects the particular flavor of bubblegum that represents the pop culture zeitgeist of a decade, which you would think would be the bread and butter. Have you noticed that? If you look at the 50's, 60's, 70's. 80's and 90's, each decade has it's own unique style, but does anything really come to mind when you think about 2000 to 2009? What about 2010 to today? Anything? I can't really think of anything, other then just a mish mash rehash of past styles. There's no more distinct style accompanying the decades anymore. Everything now is either just streamlined brand names and commercial logos, or a x-factor, hipster, socio-historical grab bag of random appropriation, or just the usual formal business attire. Not that I really care all that much, but it is a demonstration of the decline of creativity via the saturation and satiation of mediocrity on the masses, which dilutes, or dries up completely, the wellspring of primary source content and original expression.

And you know that the mediocrity has reached epic proportions, with the reality shows the way they are nowadays, along with all the various parades of side shows freaks, drama queens and attention whores. It's gotten so bad, that they even do FAKE reality shows now. That's right. TV is gonna go to great lengths to indulge your need for sniffing other people's dirty underwear, and providing you with a role model archetype you can identify with, so that you may properly vicariously indulge in all the attention whoring and drama pornography, even if it mean it has to stage events to appear real. Sound familiar? This is seems to be related to a theme we find present here in this reality. This gusto for lies and fakery. Much of the time you even know it's a lie, but you love it anyway. We love fake people and fake personalities, because we are not self accepting people. We hide our pure natures behind the superficial facades of luxury, plastic surgery and extravagant lifestyles. And we keep ourselves happily sedated in this shallow fluff by consuming large amounts of prescription drugs and mainstream popular culture. And, isn't it curious that the biological definition of culture is: the cultivation of bacteria, tissue cells, etc., in an artificial medium containing nutrients. Artificial. Got the drift? And so, who is the most popular bacterium of the day? All the sheep want to know.

Yes, sheep. As in, sheeple. It's always been kind of a cool way to refer to the adherents of mediocre conformity, but I always had my own little pejorative label that I liked much better than the sheeple, which has grown into a bit of a cliche. I have always called them, the Ones. I call them the ones because they are the ones that all agree, and they are also called the ones because they are all like little metaphorical number 1's, uniformly basic, all running around in giant packs of identical meaning and purpose. What are all the ones watching? What are all the ones listening to? What does the latest poll by all the ones reveal? Which contestant have all the ones voted off the show? Because, you must be like all the ones. All the ones agree on this. Don't find yourself in opposition to all the ones. All the ones might pass a new law to crush your individuality. Cause you must be like all the ones. You must be like all the ones and (X8)....

So, to appeal to all the ones must mean that you are successful, right? To be celebrated by the lowest common denominator has become the measure of greatness. When all the clones love you, you know you have achieved something magnificent. You are now a popular mainstream product of pop culture mediocrity. Congratulations! Obviously, your appeal must be a reflection of good taste, because all the ones approve of what you are doing. You are normal, non-threatening, and unchallenging to the ones sensibilities, and thereby fit for mass consumption, and other such facilities. Because you know how bubble gum logic works, if it's popular, then that must mean that it's the best. That it's better then all the alternatives. That it's top shelf, crème de la crème, right? Yeah. And that's why fast food cheeseburgers are so much better then filet mignon. This is why junk food is so much better then gourmet cuisine. Are we to believe this? Come now. It's not better, it's just cheaper. Easier. Flashier. It's mediocre. Which, at best, just means supremely average.

How does something like that sound to you? You are so stupendously average. Quite Ordinary. Unremarkable. Standard. Normal. Typical. Regular. Are these descriptors getting you horny yet? No. Popular doesn't mean better. It means mediocre. Which, from the perspective of the refined aesthetics of a creative discerning mind, means complete and utter artistic failure. You got that? Under most circumstances, with few exceptions, popularity means epic fail. Artistically, popularity isn't indicative of success, but of a failure that is obscured by a sort of ironic condescending mocking lionization. Behind all the applause and smiling faces is the secret desire to see your downfall. This is why so many artists who were lauded and celebrated and pushed to the heights of praise and attention are promptly kicked and dragged through the dirt the second they are down. The media and paparazzi just love that, don't they. Like buzzards and vultures circling a fresh corpse. That's why they celebrate you so hard when you're on the way up. It's fresh meat. A future meal. Another mediocre subject for them to rip apart and play in the innards.

You feel bad when you see this happen to someone like Marlon Brando, but not so bad when you see it happen to anyone in this new crop of snarky millennials, who knew or blew their way to the top because it was always their dream to have the lifestyle of an artist. You dig that? The lifestyle. Actual artistry is a glossed over afterthought. They don't have much talent, but talent doesn't matter if you have a really good looking superficial appearance! Don't worry about talent, we got teleprompters and auto tune for that. What we'll loosely call your so called body of work, is really just generic filler to justify the lifestyle of a pop star, which is more important and incidentally, the subject of a new reality TV show, where the lifestyle is the feature showcase of the show! And have you seen one of these shows? They are expositions that provoke misanthropy, which is why they are best avoided; for they inspire the desire for bloodsport. They make you root in favor of the media vultures, and even want to assist them, by sharpening their talons and feeding them cocaine. Give you some privacy? Please. You got what you signed up for, so don't sneer and push the photographers, lest you get thrown to the lions. Yeah. I'm in favor of bringing back the colosseum games wherein reality TV stars and their ilk must engage in gladiator battles to the death. Now that would be something to celebrate!

And speaking of celebrating, the crypto semantics of which brings us the word "celebrity", it's amazing how mediocrity, which works so little and contributes works of such little value, feels it needs to be praised and awarded on a regular basis. You know... The type of mediocrity that is so average and so propped up by nepotistic handicapped assistance that it just simply deserves to be showered by various awards granted from itself to itself!! There's nothing better in the whole wide world then mediocrity patting itself on the back and bestowing itself mediocrity awards. A reward for a job well done, right? And they call this professionalism, which is a real slap to the intelligence. More like professional mediocrity.

But do you know what the real kick to the kidneys is? If you look up the word mediocrity in the dictionary, it's lists as a related synonym: amateur. And this is a common misconception and misassociation, as, obviously most people don't understand the meaning of the word, as it's often wrongly used to indicate a meaning of one being green or unskilled or of lame creative abilities, as we have often heard it spoken in response to displays of buffoonery to "knock it off and stop acting so amateur"... amateur doesn't mean unskilled. It means someone who does something out of a love for doing it, as opposed to the professional, who does something out of a love of profit, which automatically means it just has to be better, right? Making an amateur mistake means that you haven't been thoroughly trained on how to produce to the cookie cutter standard. You aren't formula enough. You need to become more predictable, less thoughtful and cater to someone else's standards. That's funny, considering so many of the styles and techniques that come naturally to the amateur are often later adopted and replicated by the so called professionals. The amateur has heart. The professional wants money. And that's exactly why the quality of all these mainstream projects has gone so low. The motive of profit almost always necessarily equates into a decline in quality and substance. And this truth pervades all arenas of human achievement. Ask yourself, what kind of doctor would you like treating you, or operating on you, one that loved what he was doing, or one that was just doing it just because he loves the paycheck? And what kind of politician would you want representing you, one that loves and serves the people? Or one that will use the office to benefit himself and his corporate pimps? Profit is a recipe that poisons the well. But with art it's even more of a factor that will determine quality. When you are pushing out content for profit you have basically become a pimp who is prostituting an art form, which drastically cheapens everything, despite the million dollar budget, and that's really an unfortunate shame.

And it’s really all quite depressing; which is why I’m done talking about it now... but, uh, yeah it kinda had to be said and uh, I had to say to say it. It was really not really pleasant. But I, you know, had to really deconstruct it. Chop it up, and slice it the other way... into little cubes. Can’t have that. Too much. Too much facade; it has to be chopped. You know? It’s bad enough there’s a facade; but a facade on steroids? No, it has to be chopped, sorry.