#also i chose these songs because they’re the ones i’ve seen are relatively popular and i didn’t have room for all of them i’m sorry

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Bubba Bo Bob Brain and Cameo

Can I just say that I think I’m somehow getting worse at keeping the screenshot count down?

Neither the cameo nor the main episode in this post are animated by TMS, so that’s not the reason for the surprisingly high screenshot count. However, the regular episode is animated by Wang Film Production, who are the same folks that animated the very first PatB segment and have done most of the episodes I’ve covered so far, including the previous one. I can tell they’ve gotten a better handle at animating our main duo in the skit we’re looking at today, especially Brain. Wang Film Production is no TMS, but they’ve gotten very, very good at expressions. They’ve also seemed to settle into a rounded and soft design for Brain, something that they’re kind of known for among fans if I recall correctly. Pinky can still be a little…off at this point in time, though.

Moving on, the cameo that we’re starting with is animated by Akom Film Productions. They’re the folks who usually do the animation for the Chicken Boo and Goodfeathers episodes, and they usually do a pretty good job with those characters. As far as our mouse duo go, though, Akom has only done “Opportunity Knox” so far. You know, the one with the oddly nightmarish Brain close-ups. Thankfully we get none of that since it’s only a short bit.

So yes, onto the cameo in “Noah’s Lark”!

So this is actually a Hip Hippos episode, but luckily we don’t have to deal with them at all right now. The premise is the story of Noah’s Ark, obviously, but the character of Noah is done as a parody of the stand-up comedian Richard Lewis, who was somewhat popular in the 80s. The most modern and notable media he’s been involved in that people on Tumblr might know him from (or at least, what I think folks here might recognize, it can be a little hard to gauge that since both millennials and gen z folks are the main demographic of this site) are Robin Hood: Men in Tights where he played Prince John, and Curb Your Enthusiasm where he plays himself.

Noah is rounding up two of every animal to go onto the ark (which is a popular depiction of how the story goes, but is actually false: it’s supposed to be seven male and female pairs of “clean” animals of each species and one pair of “unclean” animals of the same species, but that’s as far as I’m going into that topic). He’s nearly finished the list and has just been mauled by the wolverine pair, and…

“Lab mice?...”

The fact that he’s specifically asking for a pair of lab mice raises a lot of questions that I don’t think we have time to unpack.

The pair of lab mice that he gets is, of course, Pinky and the Brain.

And Pinky is, for the very first time in the series, crossdressing, presumably to pass as a female mouse so he and Brain can survive the great flood by boarding the ark.

…This is also a lot to unpack.

“Check!” they both exclaim, although Pinky does it in a very deep voice for some reason.

Wow, look at the surprise and then hostile suspicion on Noah’s face there!

Their outfits are very 1950s, with Brain even carrying a suitcase. Anachronisms aside, these two really went all out for the “we are a normal, heterosexual pair” ruse, didn’t they? Not only is Pinky in a dress and a blonde wig, but Brain even put on a little bowler hat. Why did he feel the need to do that? Did he feel left out of dressing up otherwise? Was he afraid he wouldn’t look “manly” and hetero enough without it? I have so many questions…

“Whew! These pantyhose are killing me, Brain!”

Wow, for once it’s Pinky physically hurting Brain, even if it’s a relatively minor tug on the ear.

“I think I prefer knee-highs…”

…Pinky, you’re not even wearing pantyhose. What the hell are you talking about?

Assuming that this is just the result of an animation oversight (which, honestly, I’m certain it was), we now know that his disguise went so over-the-top as to include pantyhose which Noah wouldn’t normally see…and also it’s a type of pantyhose that Pinky doesn’t even like wearing, which implies to me that this is something Brain acquired for him.

There is just so much going on in cameos like these if you think about them for even a few seconds.

Also, I agree with Pinky. Knee-high pantyhose are much less uncomfortable to wear.

BONK!

So the mice are allowed to board and the audience is left to think that their little ruse worked, but immediately after the two run off and are out of listening range Noah rolls his eyes and says

“Who am I to judge?”

Heavily implying Noah completely saw through it and let them on anyway. Wow.

That’s the end of their cameo. Who’d have thought that this little scene would be the precursor to Brain having Pinky crossdress to disguise him as Brain’s wife so many times in the series? And who’d have thought that this very first time wouldn’t fool anyone at all?

But now let’s move on to the meat of this rewatch post:

We open to Acme Labs at night, as usual, though I’ve never noticed until now how lonely and eerie the place seems if you ignore our mouse duo.

“Pinky… I believe I have conceived my most brilliant plan to date!”

Oh boy, we have another first for today! Brain is very much a fan of using temporary mind control for his plans. It’s the method he falls back on the most, which is very interesting when you consider his various psychological issues involving having control taken away from him all his life.

“I shall use subliminal mind control to take over the world!”

“…Pinky?”

The hand-on-hip pose here is great.

“Today’s inside story is country mega-star Willie Ray Cypress!”

Uh, Pinky? Considering that this is pretty much the expression you had while looking at Pharfignewton, I am very, very worried about you looking at the Billy Ray Cyrus parody the same way.

“Don’t tell my head, my empty hollow head!~”

“You know I wouldn’t understand!~”

Same, Brain. Same. It’s just like Pinky to enjoy a song as earworm-y as this (not to mention how relevant this parody is to his everyday experience with Brain’s plans), but lord was the real song this is making fun of annoying as hell back in the day. Like, I was a small child at the time this song came out, and I still hated how often this would be played on the radio.

Luckily, Brain pounces on the remote’s off button and puts an end to the nonsense.

But oh, the look of sad betrayal on Pinky’s face is heartbreaking! I’m sorry, sweetie!

“It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob.”

Heh, Brain said “boob”. /inner six year old

“You have no idea…”

“Pinky, do you know what a subliminal message is?”

“Something you leave on a subliminal telephone answering machine?”

Nice try, Pinky.

“No. It is a recorded message perceived only by the subconscious human mind.”

Two things here:

This diagram bothers me because my mind always interprets the way they’ve drawn the bottom of the cerebellum as the person shutting their eyes extremely tightly.

Brain using his own tail as a pointing stick is very, very cute and I love this detail.

“I have recorded such a message.”

He’s still holding his tail, aaaa!~

“Citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say…”

“Nice mix, but it’s not exactly danceable, is it?”

Oh, Pinky. Only you would sincerely compliment Brain’s incredibly dry mind control message and then immediately point out a flaw that has nothing to do with its purpose. Bless you, you stupid and wonderful little mouse.

I like how Pinky’s interjection startles the hell outta Brain for a moment, too.

“If people heard this message enough times, they would succumb to my control and we could take over the world!”

Notice that despite Pinky being a minor annoyance and despite the fact that Brain claims that everyone will be under his control, yet again it’s still both of them taking over the world.

“What do you think, Pinky?”

And he still wants Pinky’s input. It’s small and scattered and very, very subtle, but in my opinion this is Brain’s most frequent way of showing that he cares about Pinky. Brain likely isn’t even aware that he does it. Pinky might not be aware, either.

“I think I’m getting dizzy and I rather like it! Ahahahahahoo!~”

“Sometimes you hurt my head, Pinky…”

And yet, Brain. And yet…

“The only problem: How to get this message repeated worldwide airplay…?”

Offscreen, Pinky turns the TV back on and startles Brain again, but only for a moment.

Another great pose and expression here: Mildly annoyed, but interested and on the verge of an idea.

“I just adore Willie Ray!”

“I listen to his song twenty times a day!”

I…really don’t know why they chose to have this shot done with Brain walking over the “camera” towards the TV so we get a brief close-up of Brain’s mousey behind. It made me laugh, though, so I thought I’d share.

“Pinky… Are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

I’m also kind of obsessed with this brief expression of Pinky’s I unintentionally managed to capture. It’s a bit of a smug, knowing, and yet endeared look. I’m sure it’s completely unintentional on the animators’ part, but I love the idea it gives me of Pinky knowing exactly what Brain’s thinking but purposefully saying something entirely unrelated to playfully tease him.

“Well, I think so, Brain, but burlap chafes me so.”

To be fair, Pinky, I think burlap chafes everyone. And were you thinking about doing a potato sack race? That’s the only connection to burlap I can think of that would be in any way relevant...

“Country music, Pinky. I will go to Nashville and become the biggest country music star of all time! Everyone will hear my record and my subliminal message and I will take over the world!”

In all honesty, that would probably be easier to do in the early 90s when this takes place since country music wasn’t such a…well, “dead” is a bit of an exaggeration, but country music as a genre is incredibly unpopular nowadays with the occasional notable exception. In the early 90s? Not so much.

“Egad, Brain!”

This is the most enthusiastic swoon I’ve seen and heard from you yet, Pinky.

“Oh! But no, no… It takes people years of hard work to become famous, Brain.”

Well, that or they’re born into a famous family. Or they’re just rich.

“Why, take Kathie Lee Gifford for example: She did community theatre, and—“

I actually can’t find anything via Googling about Kathie Lee doing community theatre before she became famous. She seems to have studied music and drama in university, and had a folk music group in high school, but the only reference to theatre I can find is professional musical theatre in the late 90s.

It’s possible Pinky’s right, though.

BONK!

BRAIN! …Wait, where did you even get that tiny club?

“Stop talking, Pinky, I must think.”

You… Brain, I think I’m starting to see why some fans believe you may be as neurodivergent as Pinky is, but in a different way. I can’t in good faith elaborate on that myself, since I haven’t been diagnosed as such and it would be completely disrespectful of me to do so, but if anyone wants a good little theory on that, try here.

“I have calculated every ingredient necessary to become a country music mega-star. Read me the list, Pinky!”

He’s typing by hopping from one key to another, aww!

Eeeh, the lettering work on that computer is pretty bad, though.

“A cowboy hat.”

“Check!”

“A southern dialect.”

“Check, ya’ll!”

“Nice, Brain.”

The way Pinky says “nice” here reminds me of this meme. Also, aww, Pinky’s always ready with the compliments.

“Working class values…”

“I enjoy beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check.”

His visible cringe at having to say he enjoys Gallagher is wonderful. I first heard about Gallagher through My Brother, My Brother and Me, but for anyone that doesn’t know, Gallagher is a frankly terrible prop comedian whose most famous act was smashing things on stage (usually fruits of increasing size) with a large mallet that he called the “Sledge-O-Matic”, ending with smashing a watermelon. It was apparently a mildly popular bit of comedy in the south. Does that sound entertaining? No? Yeah, that’s…that’s why Brain is cringing so hard.

“A song.”

“Check!”

A song titled “A Song”. Brain, sweetheart, I think you’re going to need to put in a little more effort than that.

“A name consisting of not less than three words.”

“From now on, I shall be ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’. Check.”

I would make fun of him for this name, but honestly it’s kind of genius in its bland simplicity.

“And…a height of at least six feet!”

“Aaa--guebuh…”

Whoops. Forgot about that one, huh?

“Drat!”

“There must be some way for me to increase my height…”

Gee, if only you had a fully operational mechanical human suit just laying around.

“Hmm, let me think…”

“Don’t hurt yourself, Pinky.”

He is trying his best!

“Faster, Pinky! Faster!”

…Why does Pinky have to spin the thread? The whole point of sewing machines like this is that they’re powered electrically, Brain. Are you just making him do this so Pinky feels included?

Oh. Oh no…

Brain’s “WTF?” face is great. He’s surprised and yet not at the same time, because things like this just happen when you have Pinky around.

“You amaze me, Pinky.”

“I do my best…”

A very cute exchange.

So instead of using the mechanical human suit they usually fall back on in times like these (maybe it’s under six feet tall?), the mice instead come up with…this.

“Proceed, Pinky.”

I have to give them some credit, regardless of how ridiculous this is, as sewing denim to make a very bizarrely thin and tall pair of jeans must have been an absolute nightmare.

“Ki-yi-yippee-yi-yo. How do I look?”

I’m getting flashbacks to the similarly deadpan singing of “Camptown Races” from last episode. Brain’s really on a western kick lately, isn’t he?

“Oh, very nice, Brain!”

Your finger-framing may be focused on the back of Brain’s head for some reason, Pinky, but your pupils are definitely pointed a bit…lower.

“It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’.”

“You are my manager, Colonel Pinky.”

This is a reference to Elvis Presley’s manager, Colonel Tom Parker, who was honestly quite the bungler when it came to managing Elvis’ career. I honestly don’t think Brain’s making a subtle jab at Pinky’s competency here for once because Brain’s grasp of pop culture he’s not already interested in is surface level at best most of the time.

“You discovered me playing the guitar on the front porch of my humble pig farm. Any questions?”

“Oh, just one: When you farm humble pigs, how far apart do you have to plant them?”

“…If I could reach you, I would hurt you.”

Hey now, you’re the one that asked, Brain.

“But for now, on to Nashville!”

“On to Nashville!”

BONK!

“This is a pain that is going to linger…”

That’s what you get for rolling your eyes at Pinky’s enthusiasm.

No perilous car trips this time! Instead, the boys are getting bus tickets to Nashville.

“Two tickets to Nashville, please.”

“Ooh-wee!~ You’re a tall drink a’ water, aint’cha, darlin’?”

…Ma’am? Excuse me, ma’am? Ma’am, are you flirting with The Brain?

Like, sorry, that “tall drink of water” saying is not just to point out that someone’s tall. It’s specifically for flirting with someone who is tall and gorgeous and a refreshing sight to see, like a tall glass of water on a hot summer day.

This lady is flirting with a mouse on stilt legs.

I know that Brain’s disguises are prone to inexplicably work even when by all rights they shouldn’t, but…

“Actually, I am a lab mouse on stilts.”

Brain does his usual bold and plain truth shtick and I’m a little surprised that he didn’t react to what she said beyond that. Then again, this is Brain and he’s quite terrible when talking to women in general, so maybe we dodged a bullet here.

“…At least he didn’t ask me to pull his finger.”

I’ve worked in retail and food service for years, ma’am, and if that’s the extent of your experience with unpleasant men, consider yourself lucky.

“EGAD, Bibby-boo-bop-Brain! Round trips are so exciting!”

“It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’, Pinky.”

“Right! Sorry. Zort!”

Honestly, Pinky’s version is much cuter.

“Concentrate, Pinky, concentrate!”

BONK!

“YES! This pain will definitely be with me a while.”

Brain out here looking like a bad Minecraft texture.

Hello again, Warner Siblings! Gosh, that little fringed western skirt on Dot is cute.

“’The Rowdy Ranch Nightclub’… What are we doing here, Boobie-baa-baa-Brain?”

I checked the official subtitles for this and yes, that is exactly what he mistakenly calls Brain here. We have had both of these two call each other “boob” or some permutation of it this episode.

Pinky and the Brain sure is a show that exists.

“…It’s ‘Bubba Bo Bob’ Brain. And according to statistics, and inordinate number of country western superstars have gotten their start at this very establishment.”

You probably didn’t need me to tell you this, but there’s no Rowdy Ranch Nightclub in real life. There is, however, “The Rowdy Ranch”, uh, ranch in Texas.

“Egad! [gasp] Do you suppose Minnie Pearl performed here?”

“One can only hope…”

Man, Brain, you are really laying the sarcasm on thick this episode. Come to think of it, he’s been slightly more sassy towards Pinky than usual this episode as well. I suppose he’s still sore about the end of the last one. You know, for reasons.

BONK!

At least he’s getting some karmic punishment for it, I guess.

“I am a telephone repairman from this area!~”

This little ditty this man is singing has bugged the hell out of me for quite a while, as it certainly sounds like it’s a reference to something but I never knew exactly what it was referring to until just now thanks to an old Animaniacs Usenet group from way back in the day: It’s a parody of the song “Whichita Lineman” by Glenn Campbell. The writers are really giving it their all with the pop culture references this time.

“When I give the signal, play the subliminal message tape.”

“Right-o, Bippie Bebop Balloola!”

“…Sometimes you frighten me, Pinky.”

Why, though?! Despite it being a mistake it’s honestly a goddamn adorable one. Why must you fear affectionate, innocent, unknowing malapropisms, Brain? Pinky’s still going to do what you told him to.

Anyway, Brain is ushered onto the stage as a newcomer and he’s…not exactly any more eloquent than Pinky was just now.

“Howdy, you all. Here’s a little…ditty I wrote. Hope you enjoy it…you all.”

Here’s the thing: Brain’s not one to get stage fright, and while he’s not the best actor he’s still usually better than this. He was saying “ya’ll” and getting the country-isms perfectly fine beforehand, although he was still doing it in his deadpan Brain way.

Now, suddenly, after hearing Pinky cutely screw up his fake name and going on stage he’s starting to mess up. It’s like Pinky’s error is still in the back of his mind and flustering him enough to throw him off for a bit.

He gets back into the swing of things when he starts singing his song, though.

“I am a lab mouse, I escaped from my cage

Never had a job, never earned minimum wage.~”

“He ain’t half bad.”

“Ain’t half good, either.”

OUCH. That’s a little harsh. Sure, the lyrics are kinda blah but he’s a decent singer here. Really, it’s just not a genre of music that his voice fits very well.

Also, lady? You’ve got a suspiciously busty doppleganger in the back there. That’s got to be a bad omen for you.

“But you will respect me, YES, once my plan is unfurled!~

You will call me your leader, I’ll be king of the world!~”

Careful, Brain. Your complicated emotional complex is starting to show in those lyrics.

There’s some more nice facial expressions here too. I can’t really capture it with still images, but Brain’s got a very tender demeanor when he sings about being king of the world.

“Now, Pinky!”

…I just noticed that Pinky’s wearing a completely different outfit here at the nightclub than he was when boarding the bus to get to Nashville. He was previously in an all-white colonel outfit and now he’s in a more generic yet very sweet cowboy get-up. Did you make yourself an entire wardrobe, Pinky?

Another minor detail is that while Pinky’s cowboy hat is a generic tan colour (although before, it was white), Brain’s hat is completely black, which as per western film traditions marks him as a clear villain.

You and I know he’s not really a villain and is, at worst, an anti-villain…but I thought this was worth pointing out anyway.

“Citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say.”

I love how he does this completely unneeded strum on his guitar in the middle of his subliminal message. It's for the drama!

“Buy my record and listen to it twenty times a day.”

Corporations be like…

Who am I kidding? Corporations nowadays would have you pay a fee monthly to have a song on your phone playlist and you would never really own a copy.

“Let’s buy his record…”

“And listen to it twenty times a day…”

Lady, that doppleganger is still over there. Do you need a distraction while you sneak out the back?

This smug lil’ jerk. Gotta love him, though.

And so Brain’s cassette tapes fly off the shelves at record speed.

Man. Cassette tapes. I feel so fuckin’ old…

“I don’t know ‘bout ya’ll, but I can’t get enough of Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Let’s hear it again!”

JFC, that spittoon. Blegh! And just what do you need that rope for?!?

“Well, he’s the hottest thing to hit Nashville since my mama’s jalapeno grits! Here’s Bubba Bo Bob Brain!”

Having just recently learned what exactly “grits” is, I am very disturbed by the idea of jalapeno grits.

“I’m your biggest fan! What d’you say to that?”

Hi, Dolly Parton! I’ve gotta say that the animators nailed the caricature of 90s Dolly here pretty well. She’s instantly recognizable, unlike some other celebrity parodies Animaniacs does. It’s not just because of Dolly’s, uh…most renowned physical characteristics, either. That’s a very Dolly Parton smiling face.

Not much to say here other than that Dolly’s a sweetheart of a woman, from what I know about her, especially for a celebrity. She’s a staunch supporter of Covid relief and Black Lives Matter as well.

That said, she’s sadly—both in the 90s and now—most well known for…

“I’d say puberty was inordinately kind to you.”

BRAIN!

Well, yeah. That.

I guess now you can see what I mean about Brain not being very good at talking to women. Like, he’s definitely not ogling her here. In fact he’s just kind of…stating something he’s noticed and looking absolutely done with this whole celebrity thing. But Brain you don’t just make a joke like that about a woman’s bust size no matter how deadpan you do it, you ass!

“Haha, go on.”

She takes it well, though, just like Dolly seems to in reality.

Still, though! Brain, you retroactively deserved all those run-ins with doorframes.

Continuing on the buxom southern women thing this episode has decided to run with (seriously, what’s going on here?), we now have a brief parody of a Hee Haw skit.

“Hahahahaha!”

“Hey, Bubba Bo Bob Brain, I just got back from France!”

“How’d you find it?”

“I used a map.~”

“Hahahahaha!”

Yeah, that’s an accurate depiction of Hee Haw style humour.

“And the Country Tune Award for best male vocal goes to…”

“Bubba Bo Bob Brain!”

Here we have Garth Brooks and Crystal Gayle emceeing this awards ceremony. I had to look up who these two were supposed to be, though, since the caricatures are pretty vague this time.

“EGAD! YIPPEE! Narf! Ah hahahahahaha!”

Aww, he’s so happy for Brain! And oh, is that yet another outfit I see? And a much more appropriately sunshine-y yellow and flamboyant one at that! Pinky really went all-out for this.

Again with the tongue hanging out too, except this time it’s more understandable.

“You’re embarrassing me, Pinky.”

And you’re continuing to be a jerk, wow. Someone needs a nap or something.

“Pardon my effervescence, but your accolade is more than any bucolic mouse merits.”

“What’s he sayin’?”

“I don’t know.”

Yes, Brain just used the word “effervescence”, much like in that one Tumblr Twilight meme. To those reeling from the fact that this compares Edward to Brain via their shared pretentiousness: You’re welcome.

Also, a Brain-to-common English translation: “Pardon my bubbly enthusiasm, but your award is more than any countryside mouse deserves.” Would that have been so hard to say, Brain?

“…I’d like to thank my mama and Elvis.”

I wouldn’t thank Elvis. He was an asshole. But that’s probably not wise to say at a 90s country music award show, so I guess it’s understandable.

“Oh, how nice!”

“Well isn’t that nice!”

“I’m outside the Grand Ol’ Opry, where tonight’s concert featuring country music sensation ‘Bubba Bo Bob Brain’ is being televised worldwide.”

“In two words: Bubba is hot!”

I… That’s twice in this episode where a human woman thinks a tiny, big-headed mouse on stilts is hot.

Furries, come get these poor, confused women.

“You gotta know how to cut ‘em

Know how to shuffle

Know how to deal the cards, before you play Fish with me.~”

Hello, Kenny Rogers. I only know the song parodied here, “The Gambler”, again through “My Brother, My Brother and Me” and the long and hilarious conversation about it.

It’s kind of weird to have a song that was made famous by Rogers in 1978 sung like it’s a recent hit in an early 90s awards show, but ehh. Maybe the shelf life of hit country songs is a lot longer than songs of other genres.

And then you die in your sleep~

“Do you realize what will happen if the world hears my song just one more time?”

“An angel will get its wings?!”

If only, Pinky.

“NO, Pinky!”

I think all this country stuff is really getting on Brain’s nerves. He’s being snappy and irritable and lashing out an abnormal amount ever since arriving in Nashville, and there’s not a lot of joy in the minor successes he’s had so far. Like, compare Brain smiling and praising Pinky for his work during the alien encounter spoof they did together, the last episode with Brain cheerfully singing to himself when he was certain he’d win the race…to now where he’s yelling at Pinky for minor mistakes that no one but himself is aware of and being joyless and faking pleasantries and rolling his eyes at the country stars he’s surrounded by. This mouse is crabby as all hell, and I don’t think it’s just because he finds the whole country western thing stupid and below him. This is a mouse who’s done and will continue to do degrading things to achieve his goal of world domination without this much jerkishness.

I think he’s still fuming about the whole Pharfignewton and Pinky thing, and the current plan being a very rural, country-focused plan like the last one with the Kentucky Derby is just exacerbating it by reminding him of it. Like, you don’t even have to take it in the gay way I am and instead take it in a “how dare that goddamn horse take the complete attention of my friend/world domination partner away from me and my plans, this sucks and I can’t believe Pinky’s just being his usual dumbass self like everything is fine and the same” sort of way.

But the gay way makes way more sense, fight me.

…Okay, don’t fight me, I’m tired and old and I really don’t want to get in internet fights about cartoon mice.

“My subliminal message will take permanent hold, and the world will be under my control!”

Ooof! We’re back down to “my” control and not “our”. Jeez, Brain. You really are spiraling right now, aren’t you? Your attitude has quickly devolved from the beginning of this episode...

“Oh, that.”

And dang, even Pinky’s enthusiasm is starting to get deflated.

“Now, do you remember what you have to do?”

“Yes. I need to make a dental appointment. I have horrible plaque buildup!”

Pinky, you do realize that unlike a regular, non-sapient mouse you can just brush your teeth, right?

“The tape, Pinky, the TAPE!”

“Oooh, right! When you give the signal, I play the tape.”

“And now, I’d like to introduce…”

“This is it, I’m on.”

“Good luck, Booba Bip Bop Brain!”

Folks, I swear to you that I tried to get a decent screencap of Pinky slapping Brain to figure out if he slapped his back or his ass and for the life of me I could not get it. The slap goes by just that fast and I’d honestly have to go frame by frame if I wanted to get it, but my video player will not go that slow.

Either way, Brain is certainly startled by the contact but is fixated more on the continued mangling of his fake name.

“How many times do I have to tell you, my name is--!”

Uhh, Brain? Getting a liiiittle close there.

“—Bubba Bo Bob Brain!” exclaims Kenny Rogers. And oh boy are these screencaps exploitable. Again, you’re welcome.

“Yee-haw! Let’s start this hootenanny!”

Better than last time you came out on stage to sing at a show, at least.

This time the crowd even sings along with him, and they’re not even hypnotized yet. Much better.

“Now, Pinky!”

“You are under my control, you will do whatever I say…”

“I will do whatever he says… Whatever he says… Whatever he says… Whatever he says…”

A confusingly consistent detail here: Every woman in the crowd has swirly red hypnotized eyes and every man in the crowd has swirly green hypnotized eyes. Why? Who knows!

“Way to go, Blubber Boo Bean Brain. Narf!”

Heh, that hand flip.

It looks like Pinky is trying hard to suppress his verbal tic here for some reason? Or maybe he’s just realized that he’s messed up the name again and is cringing in anticipation of Brain yelling at him? Either way, poor guy… You really don’t deserve any of what’s coming.

And what’s coming? Well, given Brain’s heightened pissy attitude and his mental issues with not having things go exactly the way he wants them to, plus his obsessive need this episode to correct Pinky on this one thing that doesn’t need to even be addressed because no one else hears it, plus other repressed emotions…

“Do me a favour and forget my name. While you’re at it, forget you ever knew me!”

Holy shit.

…Now you fucked up, Brain. Now you fucked up.

Man, I hate the one thick facial hair on the dude in the middle. It’s so unsettling.

“Hey, who’s that skinny guy on stage?”

“Who is he?”

“Get him off!”

“Boo!”

“We wanna see someone famous!”

Yup. Look at what you did. You messed this up all because you were having a temper tantrum about Pinky messing up your stupid false name. You hang that head in shame. And you apologize to Pinky.

Later...

“Tonight’s inside story: A complete unknown somehow made it on to the stage at the Grand Ol’ Opry.”

“…Turn that off, Pinky.”

You know what? Keep it on for a bit, Pinky. Let Brain wallow in this humiliation just a bit more. He needs to have the lesson set in.

“I’m trying to concentrate on a better plan for tomorrow night.”

“Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

“Same thing we do every night, Pinky:”

“Try to take over the world!”

Hey wait just a minute! You can’t just reuse this excellent ending from “Win Big” on this episode! Brain doesn’t yet deserve to get back to being cocky and determined after being such an ass!

Ahh well. He does get better, folks, I promise. This is just a rough patch. Brain is… He’s going through some things, I think. He’s not processing his emotions in a healthy way and it’s really coming back to bite him.

Listen, I understand this whole thing with Brain being extra grumpy and hostile after the whole Pinky dating Pharfignewton thing is largely coincidence. We don’t actually know what order these episodes were made in, after all, and the Animaniacs writers were not big on continuity.

Here’s the thing, though: I still find it fascinating that these episodes were aired one after the other…especially with a random cameo with Pinky and Brain disguised as a married couple in between. It makes for the beginning of a strange sort of arc that occasionally reminds us that, hey, these two mice are a duo and something is amiss when that duo is broken up or there is a strain put on that relationship.

I’ve read that after a while, network executives at the time tried to push for these mice to settle down and have families and for the skits and the eventual spin-off to largely abandon the whole world domination thing. They wanted it to be more sitcom-like to rival and imitate shows like The Simpsons.

That obviously doesn’t work. It can’t work. The writers, especially Peter Hastings, very much pushed back against the idea. When you have a duo of characters who fit together and play off one another so well, when the basic premise of a story is of a pair of characters working together to achieve a goal, and when those characters just mesh so perfectly and basically complete one another…trying to add another main character just puts the entire story completely out of wack and/or changes it into something unrecognizable. You can add reoccurring characters off to the side, sure. You can have a nemesis or two pop up and return every now and again. But with something like Pinky and the Brain where the main story is a small pair against incredible odds working towards a singular goal, disrupting that core relationship is going to cause a domino effect that will ruin the whole thing.

All this to say that I like this approach that’s going on here much more, even if it was completely unintended by the creative team: There is the element added of Pinky, off-screen, dating someone. It’s not something that’s brought up a lot and whenever it is brought up, Brain is irritated. We’ve seen at the end of the last episode where this development was introduced that Brain is unusually snappy, and now in the next episode he continues to be angry more often than he was before. It’s a more subtle and smooth way of seeing how these characters react if something or someone threatens to come between them, in a way that doesn’t immediately break the entire premise to pieces. Of course, it helps that Pharfignewton is…largely absent for all this and is only brought up every now and again. It’s not a perfect way to explore this kind of thing, but it’s preferable when compared to something like Pinky, Elymra, and The Brain.

However, after this episode Brain’s temper begins to de-escalate, and we won’t pick back up on this accidental “arc” for a few episodes. So to folks who are maybe a little bit bummed out about his behaviour here: don’t worry. We’re getting quite the breather next time with a very odd alternate universe skit courtesy of the Warner Siblings  messing around with character placement, as well as an entire Animaniacs episode devoted to a Pinky and the Brain skit…fantasy style!

[vulpes-incendium]

I made this long time ago, but I thought it's a good time to share it here for @aphasiaweek!

I chose 《Hoi Sam☆Nice Guy》over 《Maji Kandou☆Hong Kong Night》because there are more stuff about HK in it. So let's see if the lyrics are accurate in a native's point of view!

Spoiler alert: it's very accurate

Hoi Sam = Happy (in Cantonese)

Guy = sounds like street in Cantonese (gaai1)

“Yooooo, so since there’s a song… while I’m at it I kinda put some effort into my costume… I think I’ve got like, serious swag Pardon? You can’t see me…for real? Woah!!!!”

FASHION: yes, HKers love to be trendy, always want to be on top trends! Trends come and go very very quickly, it's seriously really hard to follow trends in HK.

MIXING ENGLISH WITH CANTONESE: yup, we do that a lot, we almost couldn't finish a sentence without English, some words just sound "uncool" in Chinese lol (it’s always about being cool in HK lol), but we don't really say “pardon” unless we are speaking English

Sup-sup-sup-sup-sup-super mobile (snap snap) It’s my hobby to take pics and collect them (I guess) Not gonna lie, everyone’s got a mobile phone, penetration rate (highest in the world) Yeah! If you’re going sightseeing then Nathan Road! (Fuu~!)

TAKING PICS WITH SMARTPHONE: Aph HK loves taking (embarrassing) photos (of China lol), but in real life HKers do love taking pictures, or videos too (it's dangerous if you misbehave, people would film you and post on Youtube or Facebook)

MOBILE PHONE PENETRATION RATE: I couldn't find data for HK, but I think I heard on average, each HKer carries at least 2 cellphones! So this could be true!

NATHAN ROAD: It's the longest street in HK and there's so many things, good food, good shopping places and yup sightseeing! (A lot of our streets are named after the Governors during the colonial time, this street is named after Sir Matthew Nathan for example)

Welcome this makes me kinda happy (Check it out!) Learned this from England - tea in the afternoon (high tea) Welcome, this is kinda fun (Shake it up!) Yum cha, Hong Kong milk tea, cha-cha Nice culture (frivolous)!

AFTERNOON TEA: Yes, it's still a tradition for us to have tea time, we call it 3:15, workplaces would have tea breaks, restaurants do tea time menu during 2-5pm, it's really cool and cheap! We usually drink HK milk tea (evolved from British milk tea) during tea time and there are so many delicious snacks like French toast, pineapple bun and of course egg tart!

YUM CHA: It literally means “drink tea”, but Chinese tea this time. It's a tradition for us to go Yum Cha every Sunday with our family! Dim sum is part of Yum Cha! We just eat and catch up with each others for HOURS!

Oh. My. God. “LOHAS LOHAS” Oh. My. Mind. “Gonna take a pic~” Take away “Is this delivery service for real?” Like, seriously, even if it’s way out of the way, no problem man

LOHAS: I didn't know what this refers to for a long time, I finally found the answer. This refers to LOHAS park, an eco-friendly residential area newly built few years ago. But what's so special about it? Is it famous in Japan?!

DELIVERY SERVICE: Well delivery service in Asia are generally good anyway, but I guess we are good and fast?! (but I think Korea too!)

Super Feeling unlucky? If it’s getting to you, go villain hitting at Ngo Keng Kiu A medium will perform an exorcism, and hit a paper doll with a shoe For fortune telling, go draw fortune sticks, or get a divine answer by throwing moon blocks at the temples… at Wong Tai Sin, light the fire of your incense! If you’re feeling tired, maybe you can give Feng Shui a try or something? A spiritual site in Lantau Island The Wisdom Path…is super Awesome for meditation, but there aren’t any toilets, so watch out Gold fish, bring me luck! (In money!)

NGO KENG KIU: Generally HKers are not THAT superstitious, but the culture still lives within us. I have never known anyone who did the villain hitting, but it's still quite a thing (and a great tourist spot). It's mainly for people who backstab you (we call them "small people" siu yan), but I guess evil spirit too.

WONG TAI SIN: Again, it's more for older generation who are still a bit superstitious. People like to go to Wong Tai Sin Temple during Lunar New Year to wish for luck in the new year. It's still quite popular!

See I told you we have natural landscape (source)

WISDOM PATH: I've never been there lol. Apparently it's a "path lined with 38 wooden monuments inscribed with the Heart Sutra prayer". In general, HK has a lot of nice hiking trail, our landscape is actually amazing, it's just we focus too much on making money...

P-Pe-Pe-Pearl of the Orient is me! (I guess?) Got completely wasted? Ended up in a dress (totes sick) Not gonna lie, population density is highest in the world in Ap Lei Chau Yeah! If you’re going sightseeing then Hong Kong Island! (Yeah~!!)

PEARL OF THE ORIENT: It's the nickname of HK, the Philippines is Pearl of the Orient SEAS

(Ending up in a dress refers to this comic, thanks parallel France!)

POPULATION DENSITY: Yea, that's what we are famous for really, small place lots of people (HK is a very hilly city, surprise, surprise), we have the most expensive estate price in the world 🤦‍♀️, not sure if Ap Lei Chau is particularly population-densed, but the whole HK is like that!

Good luck in everything this makes me kinda happy (Check it out!) Learned this from England - how to be a gentleman (ladies first) I wish you good health, this is kinda fun (Shake it up!) Typhoon, Kung Fu, WA-TAHH Supplements, Chinese herbal medicine (healthy~!)

LUCK: The newer generations are less superstitious now, but luck is still kind of important for us? It's more like a tradition than a belief, we do them just in case (like Feng Shui).

TYPHOON: As a coastal city, we get typhoons a lot in summer, but they are not as strong in comparison to the Philippines or Indonesia.

KUNG FU: We are known for our Kung Fu films, as the actors are all trained martial artists! Bruce Lee (WA-TAH was his catchphrase), Jackie Chan and Donnie Yen are great examples! Because of the wars and Cultural Revolution, many people fled China to HK, resulting the influx of high quality martial artists (eg. Ip Man).

HERBAL MEDICINE: As western as we are, we still believe in Chinese Medicine, but more in a preventative way.

Oh. My. God. “Air conditioning in full blast!” Oh. My. Mind. “That’s not eco-friendly…” Oh well “The air will become cleaner, I think?” Seriously a Mistake, but, no problem man

STRONG AIR-CONDITIONING: This line had me laugh die (Imao in Cantonese)! It's so accurate! You can catch a cold from the airconditioning in HK! And that's why we always carry a jacket even in summer! It's not very eco-friendly and our government is trying resolve that.

AIR POLLUTION: Yes we have smog (smoke + fog), it is becoming quite the problem really. The root of the problem is that Shenzhen, the city next to HK, is developing rapidly and a lot of factories moved there, so the smoke is blown towards HK (we don't really have many factories left, it's too expensive here).

Awesome Riding on a roofless bus, cruising through the neon streets If you want to, like, go shopping… at Ladies Market There are stalls with cute stuff, souvenirs (lots and lots of them) Talk the price down! Haggling is what really counts For some more miscellaneous and deep junk, more for the adult and thrilling The street where mystery thickens… Temple Street Would you like to try some cheap eats at the street stalls? Absolutely delicious! Asian food is the best!

NEON LIGHTS: You've all seen the stereotypical HK streets full of neon lights, but it's actually decreasing, because there's no newcomers to the industry (the lights are handmade).

LADIES MARKET: You can find so many stuff there indeed, for a cheap price! Branded stuff, fake stuff (we don't make them but yea you can find a lot of them), food and goldfish. Yes, there's a goldfish street. Why? I dunno, for luck I guess?!

TEMPLE STREET: Similar to ladies market, it's also great for shopping. This street is also known for (illegal) prostitution and triad, but it's still safe to visit, never in my life have I encountered any of them.

“Yoooooo, Mister, so I kinda sang this song, but seriously, rapping is surprisingly, like, tough?” “It’s also a shame that no one can see what I’m wearing, I’ve got serious swag, y'know.” “Phew… I kinda want to go home already… I mean, the peach buns are gonna be sold out.” “…can we go now?” “…can’t we go yet?” “Haah…” “Okay fine, like, whatever.”

One, two, three!*

PEACH BUN: They are actually eaten on birthdays, for longevity (that's what peach represents in Chinese culture).

*this line was spoken in Mandarin in the song, which would be the only critism I'd give. Yes a lot of people may understand Mandarin, but Cantonese and English are preferred and they are our official languages. One, two, three in Cantonese would be "yaat, yi, sam".

Oh. My. God. “The rent is really expensive…” Oh. My. Mind. “It’s not easy…” Why oh why? “It’s like, the highest in the world” We have serious inflation, but, whatever

EXPENSIVE RENT: We are the most expensive in the world, thanks to the high population density (and foreign buyers 😶), it's really not easy to afford a flat in HK, that’s why most HKers live with their parents until they get married (it’s also a cultural thing).

INFLATION: Stuff are still relatively cheap, but they are getting more expensive really quickly, mainly because of the rent of the shops.

Super they’re so adorable it hurts, the perfect balance of black and white pandas that bring you happiness… we sell them, sort of So fluffy and cute, such big round eyes The kinda? Make you Happy! Uh-huh

PANDAS: We actually only have 2 pandas here like everyone else, in Ocean Park (it's like an amusement park and zoo). They finally successfully mated recently, probably because of Corona shutdown lol!

There are over 100 of them, Tin Hau Temple, so super Before I head there, I seriously wanna eat… mango pudding! So many gods, like, one in every street Pay homage at the temple, light the fire of your incense!

TEMPLES: We still have the temples built before the colonial time! Hopefully, we are able to keep them too...

MANGO PUDDING: It's so good yes! Our dessert culture is just the best seriously! We have so many restaurants just for desserts! They are great places to hang out with friends after work or school!

The air conditioning at its max, the fire burning strong A steaming hot pot made with a carefully chosen soup base If you want to detox, have a Chinese herbal hot pot Absolutely delicious! Asian food is the best! Riding on a roofless bus, cruising through the neon streets If you want to, like, go shopping… at Ladies Market There are stalls with cute stuff, souvenirs, lots and lots of them Talk the price down! Haggling is what really counts Absolutely delicious! Asian food is the best! Every minute Happy☆Nice Town (Guy)

HOT POT: We love it! We basically love when a lot of people sit together, talking, sharing food (like Yum Cha), it's the harmony and atmosphere that we like so much! And yes, there are a lot of different soup base you can choose from!

BARGAINING: Yes do it, especially if you're in places like Ladies' Market and you're a foreigner, they do price things up if you don't look like a local.

***

Shout out to Takagi Motoki, the voice actor of HK, his voice fits the character perfectly! (and please get a new va for the new season please funimation) And how can he speak so fast?!

[mentalcurls]

6. Laura mi ha detto tutto

Yay! Episode 6! We’re finally getting to the real *Penetrator Chris voice* drama! This time I discuss  🐍 Marti, consent, insecurities, middle aged relatives and of course whether the episode passes the Bechdel test (not to sound like one of those clickbait headlines, but the result may surprise you!).

Bubbles! Pretty iridescent bubbles! (Let’s get excited about the small things since we’re getting into #mainagioia territory)

ok, but Marti in this scene? This is Marti pulling a S2!Gio: he notices something’s wrong with Eva, he tries to cheer her up, he cajoles her into talking to him, lets her deflect and answers her questions even if they’re out of the blue, then lets her talk when she finally confides in him

“Why do you say that?” is what betrays him, he know he knows he knowsss

I really wanna cut off those bangs though. Not even Zac Efron’s hair when it was at its peak HSM1-ishness was this annoying

oh-oh, there was an off screen fight? In which Gio gaslighted the hell out of Eva lying to her about being with his mom not Laura and calling her crazy? LudoBesse, you think by leaving it out of the final cut I wasn’t gonna get mad about it? Fuck off, I’ll have you know I’m royally pissed off about it!

“Stop it, dump him and that’s it. You can’t keep feeling like this” MARTINOOOO 🐍🐍🐍 he even makes it sound like he’s saying it for her! Honestly, this guy. He’d die a thousand painful deaths for Gio (just as bffs, aside from his crush) yet he still convinces Eva he’d kind-of-side with her in an hypothetical break up

I think what Martino does is best described as stirring shit up, then running away to watch that same shit hit the fan from a safe distance

at least he hesitates a second before dropping the “You could ask Laura” bomb

oh Silvia, Silvia. Not even one full orgasm in and already you’re talking like you’re out of a rom-com where the protagonist doesn’t want anything serious, yet with him…

orgasms and sneezing have only one thing in common afaik: they’re both controlled by the autonomic nervous system

Eleonora Sava in this scene is me and I’m her and we’re both telling Silvia off and being pissed at idiotic men who pressure girls into unsafe sexual practices

“He said he never uses it [a condom].” one sentence, three things confirmed: Edoardo always puts the burden of contraception on his female partners, he is very much promiscuous and has had unsafe sex already so he could have or carry any venereal disease yet still has unsafe sex with Silvia, Silvia gets pressured to have sex without a condom and that means the encounter was not completely consensual. Edoardo, for all that I empathized with him in the last episode, is an asshole.

I actually don’t consider him an asshole for not turning his back on Silvia when she waves at him, but I do for all the reasons I mentioned above. I’m so angry, you wouldn’t believe.

without Sana your overeager shows, Silvia, and it doesn’t do you any favors

and what prompts Silvia to put aside her resentment towards Sana? A show of wealth. Cute.

ok, honestly, those few second from Silvia’s POV on the back of the microcar

OUCH, my poor heart. I wasn’t ready to see Eva with her hood pulled up and earphones on, the throwback (flashforward, actually?) to that first clip after the hiatus where Marti is walking much like that and listening to Earl Sweatshirt 😭 except this time the one who’s not answering their beloved is the protagonist, not the love interest

Gio really slips up badly, with that mother-father thing

my heart is honestly breaking for Eva, Giovanni has called her all kind of things for thinking he’s with Laura, paranoid, crazy, out of her mind; yet she’s only amassing more and more proof that he’s lying and since he won’t tell her why, she can’t help but fill in the gaps herself; and at point her own guilt starts messing with her head and whispering that if Gio already cheated once, he might do it twice, what’s to stop him; and her insecurities come up right on the coattails of that to remind her that just because Gio chose her then, it doesn’t mean everyone else did, in fact they didn’t and there must be a reason, so maybe he’s realized she’s not good enough for him either and he’s gone back to the girl everyone sided with, the one everyone loves, including Eva herself because despite everything that’s her best friend, with whom she shared almost everything, that’s the girl who knows her and who Eva knows and loves

and I love Gio for really proving he knows Eva, he likes her as a person enough to have wanted to know and to remember what she likes; then I hate him for smiling, for forcing proximity with her, and for resorting to old tactics and kissing her to calm her down and convince her of his version. Shutting a person up by kissing her is borderline harassment, even if they’d normally consent. If it’s a girl, 99% of the time it’s also a sexist act, because it proves you’re don’t even have enough consideration for the woman to let her finish talking and listen to her arguments. Gio, why do you do this to me (and Eva)? You leave me no choice but to want to punch you.

Margot is so cuuuute I love cats

never knowing what to give guys for their eighteenth is peak italian culture 

when Eva says “Un cazzo” I was 100% expecting someone to at least wiggle their eyebrows, like, c’mon!

Silvia taking every single possible chance to contact Edoardo breaks my heart

Fede would be an amazing hype woman I think, she’s just so supportive of everything that makes her friends feel good about themselves, even when it’s sending nudes to a jerk

“If we don’t tell her the truth, then who?” and that’s Sana in a nutshell, except she doesn’t consider those flimsy, useless little things called feelings: girl, I get it, but saying things in a kind way goes incredible lengths

“Eva, I’ve been at this school for three years” YES! That’s what I’ve been saying: Sana and Silvia (and to an extent Federica) know these people and their hierarchy really really well, for completely opposite reasons - one out of self preservation and near-scientific interest, the other because she’s a wannabe social climber -, but they’ve had the time and ability to find out how things work here; Eva, despite being there for seven months, has been so wrapped up in her own drama she hasn’t been observant at all and she doesn’t understand how the school is “run” and that’s  a big fucking problem for her because she doesn’t form an opinion on whether or not she wants to get in with the cool kids, she just lets these girls (mainly Silvia) she’s known for such a short time drag her into it, and because she’s flailing around she makes trouble for herself. Eva doesn’t give a fuck about the Villa boys, about Incanti or Canegallo or Rodi or whoever else, she doesn’t even care about Laura as far as her popularity goes, so she literally gets into the whole Federico thing just for Silvia, with encouragement from the other girls.

my favourite part of Federico’s 18th birthday party is the presence of his relatives who are so completely out of place among all the kids dancing and will undoubtedly start dancing after a couple of glasses of spumante, the teenagers will end up dancing with them at first to make fun then give them a wide berth, until they realize after two songs they’re too old for this and go home, but still giddy af (seen it happen at all 18ht parties where there were parents/uncles/aunts etc.). In the meantime the boy//girl of the hour gets shitfaced and everyone will have to work to kind of hide how bad from the parents.

13:24 FIRST GLIMPSE OF ALICE

is the girl making the toast to Federico Maria Sorgato?? Isn’t she brunette in the episode Eva speaks to her outside school? Cause she looks pretty blonde her, but maybe it’s the lights.

oh Gio ❤️ I keep finding reasons to be mad at you but I still love you ❤️ you mago dell’amore, you ❤️ that text is so sweet, except not because the purpose of going to the party is still to please Eva, not to do something for them, it’s a concession he makes, not something he shares Eva’s desire to do, so I’m angry again. Well, that didn’t last long

I totally get Laura tbh, if there had been a swing at any of the parties I’ve ever been to, it’d have been mine all night, I love swings

ok, what is it that makes Laura look so bad in this scene? Is it the makeup? The lighting? Both? It’s just so unappealing, her face looks so drawn, all her imperfections show so much 😕 

For a second, for a split second, when she says “Non so” she considers not doing this, but why should she do this for Eva? Payback time, bitch

oh, Canegallo. Enters the room speaking English, all dapper in his suit, then he does the whole worried thing and it’s fine, it’s fine for the most part, he sounds genuine; then he twirls her hair round his finger, has her turn her face and that’s it

and Eva wants it, because it’s comfort, reassurance, it’s a way to forget everything that’s gone to hell for a minute 

and he looks at her to make sure, to check in! So different from that last kiss with Gio we saw. It takes 50 creepiness points away from Canegallo (he still has a lot)

then Alice comes in, just in time, and Federico doesn’t even have to lie to her! It’s all there, all true, so Eva couldn’t even disagree!

Alice is really nice, comforting a girl she doesn’t know at all while a cool party is going on, but her “When you meet the right guy, you’ll know, cause you’ll feel like you can trust him.” is h e a r t b r e a k i n g

Oh Alice. Your solution for heartbreak is getting back to the party, getting drunk and having dub con sex with older guys? Girl. No wonder you like Canegallo.

it’s so significant to me that Eva basically had the same “crying alone the meeting a girl who tries to comfort you” experience Silvia had at the Easter party in ep.1 and the first thing she does when she gets out is to look for, essentially, Silvia; and of course in both occasions she’s had a confrontation with Laura earlier and she goes home alone afterwards

Silvia is really a masochist, isn’t she? She stays right there, next to a passed out Chicco Rodi, looking at Edoardo going on with his life and making out with her former friend Sara

Eva walking home alone reminds me of 9.5 La Grotta except she’s walking with some purpose despite feeling lost, while Marti was literally wandering 

she stops and hesitates when she sees Gio, cause she wasn’t expecting it at all, she isn’t ready, not now

Gio’s “T’ho detto un po’ di cazzate in sto periodo” is so reminiscent of several of Marti’s lines, especially of when he apologizes to the guys and to Emma

ok, so get Gio’s big reveal and Eva’s regret is written all over her face

I’m not even gonna talk about Gio huffing about Eva’s mention of that time he threw up on her while they were kissing. HE THREW UP ON HER WHILE THEY WERE KISSING. I just. Can’t.

and Gio brings up trust and I bet that Eva’s brain was replaying Alice’s words in her mind

“It’s you and me” 💔 (despite everything, I’m under a thousand trains for them)

Bechdel test: this episode doesn’t pass the test. The only times it comes close are when Sana arrives with the microcar and when the girls discuss Margot for a second on the windowsill, but I refuse to call either of those “conversations”.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

[underoossss]

Don't Stop the Music - Tom Holland

part two

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader  

Warnings: nada 

Words: 2099

A/N: Hello! I’m back with another imagine, this time is a series! The reader is one of the professional dancers in Dancing with The Stars and this season she’s paired with her celebrity crush. There’s no denying there’s something special about them both that soon blooms into something else. Basically friends to lovers and lots of dancing. 

The Dancing with the stars fic no one asked for but we all need.  I figured Tom would be amazing in DWTS so that’s how this fic was born. I’m so excited to share this with you, this will probably have at least 10 parts and I’ll try to update skipping a day or sooner if I get it done earlier. I hope you enjoy it, here’s part 1!

Here’s what excites me every time spring starts, the flowers start to show again and they are laced with conviction and effort. Spring has every dancer blooming with adrenaline and new ideas because it’s not only the season of colors, floral patterns and bright grass, it is also the season when we get to prove ourselves in Dancing with The Stars once more.

Everything is at stake when you’re the rookie, specially the youngest at 21 years old going for 22. Even if I have already been on the show for two seasons I need to prove myself that they didn’t add me to the team for nothing. I have to show them what I got and even if I haven’t won yet I know that I will, at the right time. Maybe it’s this season, maybe it isn’t but I’m here to give it my all. All those sleepless nights practicing to get admitted to dance academies will pay off, bleeding feet and aching legs will pay off. It’s a matter of time.

The public does seem to have developed affection towards me since I joined the pro dancers team, even when I haven’t made it to the finals week yet. That’s my goal: baby steps until it is my turn to cross the finish line. Now that spring started, we were called again for the show two weeks ago and today is the day we see who we were paired with.

 As always I was a human mix of nervous and excited, I still can’t get used to the rush of emotions that surge from competing again and the joy of seeing my friends and fellow dancers almost every day once more. So I was on the tip of my toes since the moment I woke up, actually, I have been like that since the phone call. I’ve kept in shape of course but for the past two weeks I’ve returned to the routine of hitting the gym and practicing everyday while also changing my diet a little bit. But today, oh dear, today was such a thrill-filling day that I don’t think I would have been able to work out this morning even if I tried.  

 I really had no idea who I was going to be paired with, part of the fun was that the production team never gave a single clue about who they casted for the season but I know that whoever it is, we will get along just fine. The pairs are made depending on personality, height and other aspects of both the dancer and the celebrity and so far, the casting teams have paired me with awesome people with whom I’ve gotten along just great. So I know this season will be no different.

 I also knew we would have to start choreographing today, for the opening with all the dancers and for the first dance with our pairs. I fetched my gym bag and packed jazz and lyrical shoes just in case, two towels, some tights and an extra t-shirt as well as the necessary supplies every dancer needs on their bag such as Band-Aids, cream for any sprains or cramps and head ties. I went ahead and changed into sweatpants, sports bra, a white t-shirt and sneakers before going to the kitchen and chopping an apple into cubes.

 Taking the plate with me, I moved towards the mirror by my bedroom door to brush my hair while I ate the apple.  I proceeded to fix my eyebrows a bit since there were going to be cameras and having nice eyebrows is, well… nice. Once that was done I had nothing else to do than fill my thermos with water, grab my keys and head out of my apartment.

 I put my bag on the back seat before starting the car and driving out of the garage and into the hellish L.A traffic. Making my way to the studios, I let myself wander who my partner would be this season, but coming up empty of any realistic options. I don’t think I’ll be assigned to someone very popular, since they are exclusive for dancers like Derek or Sasha not for rookies. I immediately shrugged that thought off, who says a rookie can’t handle herself? I’m here for a reason aren’t I? They chose me for a reason.

 I waved at the few photographers outside as I walked my way through the lot, it was weird actually, that there were a couple of them since for the sake of the surprise no one should know who the celebrities are.  I found Val and Derek talking once I made my way inside and greeted them with big hugs, they were also excited that the team was together again specially us three that have built a strong friendship. We agreed on meeting for dinner after we’re done for the day before we went our separate ways waiting for the big reveal. Walking down the hallway I waved at Peta who was talking to Mak, they waved back before we were all told to go to each of our dance studios so we can get ready and meet the stars that were appointed to us.

 Rounding the corner at the end of the hall, I opened the door to studio #4 which has been mine since I started working on the show. I set my bag on a chair by the mirror before going to the steps on the back of the room, sitting down and tapping my foot mouthing “I’m so excited!” to the cameramen opposite to me. I decided to get my phone out of my pocket and posted an Instagram story making an anxious/excited face captioning it with ‘Who will it be? Who will it be?’

 I put it back on my pocket and the cameramen gave me the cue to start talking for footage for the show. “Well,” I started, clasping my hands together, “As always I really have no idea of who I’m going to be paired with and I’m really excited to meet them. I have no doubt that whoever walks through that door will be amazing and we’ll be a great team. I just have a feeling that this season is the one, you know, I know I’m relatively new but this season feels different. In a great way of course.”

 There was a knock on the door and I stood up making an excited face to the camera again before turning back to the door and going down the steps. The door opened revealing more cameras and a member of the casting team, behind them there were brown curls that suddenly moved to the side to reveal that they were attached to Tom Holland.

 I was speechless for a second, only a smile of complete surprise on my face. I seriously wasn’t expecting this, I mean, to say that I was a fan was an understatement. I was a huge fan of him, mostly because I was young and have been very familiar with his movies. This is Spider-Man! Right in front of me, and he is smiling at me!

 Shaking myself out of my daze I stepped forward to say hi and so did he, opening his arms and giving me a warm hug which I returned not before internally screaming. I reminded myself to keep whatever celebrity crush I may have harbored completely out of this before extending my hand for him to shake.

 “Hi, I’m Y/N Y/LN.” I smiled.

 “It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Tom.” He said smiling back.

 I shake my head, “The pleasure is mine, I’m a fan of your work.”

 Tom chuckled, seeming flustered before looking back at me, “Thank you, I’m sure I’ll be a fan of yours too.”

 “I hope so.” I shrugged, laughing softly.

 The casting team left shortly after that, saying they’d be back in a while before closing the door. I made my way to the center of the room, motioning him to follow me before I sat on the floor, Tom doing the same across from me.

 “So from what I hear, you have background experience in gymnastics and ballet.” I started and Tom nods before glancing towards the camera currently filming us.

 “I know it’s kinda weird to have them recording everything we do but they’ll leave in a few minutes. They’re not actually here at all times.” I explained and he nods giving me a smile.

 “Yeah, I know some ballet and gymnastics. I hope that makes it easier for you to teach me how to dance.”

 “How to dance? Tom, after your lip-sync battle I think you’ve made it very clear that you are a really good dancer”

 He covered his face with his hands before laughing, “You saw it?”

 I chuckled and nodded, “I’m sure half of the world has seen it by now.”

 “Well, I hope not to disappoint you then, love.”

 “Of course you won’t, we’re going to win.” I offered him a fist bump which he enthusiastically returned.

 We heard the door closing and see that the camera crew left, so I decided to explain Tom how everything works so he can be more comfortable during this week that will no doubt be hectic. There are costume fittings, the opening dance rehearsals and of course our own dance.

 “So yeah, in a little while the producers will come with a bowl which tragically doesn’t have any nachos but pieces of paper instead with different rhythms inside it for us to pick,” Tom laughed before I continued, “With that we choose a song, create the choreography and rehearse our butts off.” I explained and he nodded gathering all the information I’m giving him.

 “Great, what else should I know?”

 “They took your measurements already right?” I asked knowing the standard procedure of the producers.

 “Yeah, a week ago. They said it was for the costumes.” He rested his elbow on his knee, leaning on his palm as he spoke to me. Dreamy brown eyes staring back at mine almost making me forget what I was going to say.

 “Tomorrow there’s a photoshoot, they’ll give us costumes for that. And those are the pictures that will be posted online to announce the pairs.”

 “So we should expect more notifications than usual tomorrow then.” Tom smiled and I nodded.

 “Your phone’s gonna blow up.” I said solemnly making him chuckle. “Anyways, after the photoshoot we’ll start working on the opening dance with all the pairs. Basically tomorrow is when we meet everyone.”

 “That doesn’t make me feel nervous at all.” He chuckles running his fingers through his hair, glancing around the room before looking at me again.

 “You’ll be fine, Tom.” I gave him a reassuring smile.

 The door opened and the usual crew of cameramen, producer and casting member came back with the bowl.

 Tom leaned closer to me as we stood up, “You were right, no nachos.” He whispered and I laughed as we walked towards the crew waiting for us.

 “I see you’re getting along just fine.” Angela, who was part of the casting team smiled at us.

 “Yeah, she’s brilliant.” Tom said smiling, throwing an arm around my shoulders, “I have a great teacher.”

 I smiled back at him before turning to back to the crew, “Who’s picked already?” I asked curiously.

 “Val, Sasha and Sharna,” Angela said.

 “You’re the fourth ones to pick,” Michael one of the producers announced as he held the bowl up.

 I turned to Tom, “Pick a paper Spidey.”

 “Hey that should be our team name, darling!” Tom said eyes widening in excitement. He turned to the camera, “From now on we’ll be Team Spidey.”

 I chuckled nodding and trying not to blush at the endearments that seemed to come so easily for him, “And our first rhythm will be…” I glanced towards Tom again urging him to pick a paper.

 He took a deep dramatic breath, taking his arm away from my shoulder to step forward towards the bowl. He closed his eyes adorably before putting his hand inside the bowl and taking out a paper.

 He laughed at me when I gasped as I looked over his shoulder to read what the paper said. He then showed it to the camera, “Rock and Roll. Well that’s gonna be fun, isn’t it?”

 “Hell yeah, we’re gonna crush it!” I held my hand up to Tom who high-fived me back.

 “She’s right you know, you should probably warn the others,” Tom warned the crew before sending me a wink that just about murdered me and then looked to the camera again, “Tell them to be ready.”

Thank you so much for reading, this was part 1 and I’ve planned for this series to have at least 10. inbox me if you want to be tagged.

taglist: @tomllholland @tomhollandhollaatme @x-parker-holland-x 💞

[iimaginedragons]

blog entry #4 -- astoria & m a n i a

i don’t know if every music lover remembers the first band or artist they really loved - and i don’t mean “loved” like genuinely appreciated their music or related to their lyrics or anything; i mean cringey, young fangirl/fanboy, major-crush-on-at-least-one-member-of-the-band “loved”. i feel like for those who remember that time, they either still love the band to pieces or look back on those days with horror and wonder how the hell they chose that band to obsess over. thankfully for me, it’s the former - my first major fangirl band was marianas trench, a relatively well-known pop punk and symphonic rock band (and now with some cool 80s pop-funk influences) from vancouver, canada.

when i was about eleven or twelve, i discovered their song “cross my heart”, and immediately fell in love. i was never into taylor swift, katy perry, or any of the major pop artists of that time, and as a young guitar player myself, marianas trench’s guitar-driven, punk rock sound twisted into pop tracks through catchy drumbeats and radio music harmonies instantly appealed to me. bit by bit, i discovered more of their tracks, notably from their album “masterpiece theatre”, as that was the one out at the time. “ever after”, their third studio album, came out right as my fangirl obsession really began. 

spotify and similar apps not really existing at the time, i had to be careful with my money, and my parents really monitored the music i purchased, and so i played it safe and only bought my three favourite tracks on itunes, not wanting to accidentally waste any money; “cross my heart”, “all to myself”, and “celebrity status”, all from “masterpiece theatre”. to discover more of their music, i remember typing their name into the youtube search bar, and then trying every single letter of the alphabet afterwards to find a song title that i hadn’t seen before - i actually discovered a lot of music like that, not just from marianas trench.

anyways, as i became more obsessed, i started watching interviews, acoustic or live versions of songs, and funny clips and music video bloopers all over youtube, and i have to say; for my age and maturity level at the time, i could not have found a better “introductory” band into the vast world of bands and fangirling. marianas trench were funny but never obscenely rude, they were largely unproblematic and drama-free within the music world, their music evolved towards a more pop-funk and symphonic sound but they never forgot their pop punk and rock roots, and their lyrics were always intriguing but not too dark (with the exception of their first album “fix me” and the occasional tracks on the other three albums). all of these things are still 100% true about them. bottom line, they were an awesome band for me to discover at the time, and are still what i’d describe as a model band to this day. they’ve always been so good.

what i really wanted to say (after this unnecessarily long intro) is that musically, they are still an excellent band nowadays. as a huge fan of their first three albums (especially “masterpiece theatre”, when their symphonic rock drift began - i loved the big productions and mash-ups), i didn’t pay much mind to their fourth album “astoria”. i heard of its release and listened to the first single that was put out beforehand, which was “here’s to all the zeroes” (which they actually didn’t even end up putting on the album since it didn’t fit with the vibe of it), and i really didn’t like it - i felt like it was a bit too pop and losing the originality for which i loved them. i had always loved that they stuck true to who they were and didn’t try to change themselves to get more listeners outside of canada. 

so, when they released that song, i felt like they might lose themselves in the world of common radio pop, so i didn’t look into “astoria” at all when it came out. but yesterday, as i was feeling low and looking to listen to some of their older, darker tracks, i saw the “astoria” album cover go by on my phone, and i guess i just thought “yeah why not?”. the first track immediately caught my interest, as it reminded me of the “masterpiece theatre i, ii & iii” tracks from their second album, as well as “ever after” and “no place like home” from their third album (these were often longer than the other songs, and incorporated lyrics for all of the songs from the album within a huge, dramatic, overproduced track - if you’ve taken a peak at my favourite albums, many of them are alternative, unique, and deliberately overproduced records, which i love and almost always have).

all this to say - the rest of the album was awesome. i was very impressed with the filler tracks as well as the final song “end of an era”, among all the other great songs. original lyrics, great emotion, good guitar, and unique, typical trench vocal and string arrangements - essentially, everything that a long-time, dedicated marianas trench fan could ask for.

apart from the fact that i needed to rant somewhere about and emphasize how good “astoria” and marianas trench are, i also wanted to say this: trust the bands you love. you started loving them for a reason; because they made good music time after time. even if their style changed, if they lost a member, disbanded for a while, or switched genres completely, you will be able to find that thing that drew you to them initially in all of their music, i promise. you just need to come in with an open mind.

good fans don’t have to like everything that their favourite artists or bands make, but in my opinion, good fans can not only root for the band’s changes and support their road to self-discovery as artists by not hating on them and asking for the “old them” back, but can also come to identify the reasons for which they loved the band initially and find these aspects in all of their music. for example, at the core, i was drawn to marianas trench because of josh ramsay’s unique voice, the band’s song arrangements and harmonies, poppy guitar riffs and drum beats, originality, and the fact that they are a canadian band - ultimately, all of this can be found in anything that marianas trench has ever released, even the songs that aren’t as popular among the fans. i guess this is supposed to be some kind of optimistic view on band evolution… i don’t know to be honest.

i think i also kind of wrote this in connection to fall out boy’s “m a n i a” album coming out in less than two weeks. a lot of longtime fans are worried that this one is going to be very different (too different) from other things that the band has made, and i guess they’re worried that they won’t like it or something.

i understand. in all honesty, i’m always worried that i won’t like an album when one of my favourite bands releases it - fuck, i was equally excited as i was terrified when imagine dragons released “evolve”. but i trusted them to make good music no matter what, and though the album was different from “night visions” and “smoke + mirrors”, how could i expect it not to be? and yet, it was absolutely incredible nonetheless.

hence, i’m really going to try and adopt an optimistic attitude for “m a n i a”, because i trust fall out boy. they have proven time and time again (and despite a five year break) that they can produce incredible music. yes, it will be different. maybe it’ll drift away from “american beauty/american psycho” and back towards some of their older things - maybe it won’t. maybe it will be something totally different, which is kind of what i’m hoping for. the songs released so far seem to be drifting towards a bit of an alternative pop and even edm inspired direction in the case of “young & menace” (which would be a dream come true for an alternative music lover like me), but hey, we’ll see. i trust fall out boy.

either way, i sure as hell won’t keep myself from listening to “m a n i a” for two years like i did marianas trench’s “astoria”, because as i’ve seen, i’d likely miss out big time. so sorry about this long ass post on your dash by the way (i get a little carried away sometimes yikes i’m sorry, i love talking about music way too much).

[itdisneymatter]

Day 02 - Epcot

TLDR: Epcot. A slightly later start today though a pretty full and non stop day once we began. Spaceship Earth up first, squeezed into the Ellen's Energy Adventure, then Test Track with a touch of competitive spirit. Living with the Land, Circle of Life and then Soarin’ in quick succession. Finished off with the new ride - Frozen Ever After and decided to skip out on World Showcase in favour of heading straight to Miller's Alehouse for my first proper meal of the trip. Walmart, then home, early (earlier).

The future is what you make it!

Sooo Robert had been unimpressed by the shops we had visited to far, mainly because they didn’t stock Pokemon cards. With the thunderstorms last night, we promised we visit Walmart first thing, which we did prior to picking up my Mum & Dad for Epcot. That meant skipping breakfast. Again. Picked up a wee rucksack so we could carry around all our rain jackets and little extras. Robert got his Pokemon cards and Gracie managed to find yet another collectable in the form of Hatchimal miniatures. Patrick and I had been speaking prior to the holiday about another card collection called Magic: The Gathering, but neither me nor him knew much about them. He picked up a starter pack to have a look. As someone who like his RPG and Fantasy things, I was a little intrigued. I dont think it will take Patrick long to become an expert.

Swung back around to pick up my Mum and Dad who were waiting for us at their Hotel with coffee in hand - result! The other party (which I'll cover in just a sec), were heading to Mass first and planned to catch us up at Epcot when they were done. So let me backtrack a little and explain who is actually all here as I havent yet done so and were already two days in - thats just impolite, so sorry.

Fifeteen of us in total. First off we have our wee family of five, Me, Ann, Patrick, Robert & Grace - Ive went on at length about all of us at some point in the past - yeah, you know who we are. Then its my mum and dad, Sadie & Wullie, Orlando veterans and all round great parents. My brother Michael is up next, with Sarah Jane, Corrie, Alessio and their wee baby who recently had her first birthday - Isabella. And finally we have my sister Pauline with Kevin & Emily. Both Emily and Isabella are first timers to Orlando and all things Disney, so makes it an extra special visit. Ourselves and my parents share the first car, My brother, sister and their families share the second. I'll refer to the latter as 'the other party' at times but this is entirely for brevity. Now, back to the story...

We ended up getting to Epcot around 10:30 which was right in time for our first Fast Pass - Spaceship Earth. A big slow moving train through the anals of Civilization, located in the big multi-faceted ball that Epcot is renowned for. Y'know its a fairly simple ride and I've done this it a fair few times now, but this like many others, never ceases to amaze me. If you've ever seen Inside Out, I imagine this whole place to be a core memory and have its own wee island somewhere in the depths of my brain, churning out little orbs of Joy. If you haven't seen Inside Out, then all of what I've just said will sound really really weird, but trust me - go watch it. Good start to the day!

Hey You Guys! 

Next we checked out Test Track but it was down for some unknown reason, so grabbed some coffee and pastries will we waited for the other party (that being, oh wait right we did that already, didn't we?). By the wonders of Whatsapp and Feel at Home from Three (shameless plug), Kev let us know that they'd arrived and we arranged to met them back at the entrance. We'd coordinated our t-shirts today, those being our new Celtic Champions 6-in-a-row tee :) which made it real easy to spot them. On the subject of attire, zipped pockets - how amazing are they? I know I sound like I'm getting old, but they're definitely the way to go if you're on holiday!

Ann really hurt her eye over the course of the morning and it was progressively getting worse as time went on. I suggested that she patch over her eye to give it a rest, however this led me to call her One Eyed Willie, which didnt go down to well, so stopped in fear of my life (or having to walk the plank - right, sorry Ann, that was the last one, promise ;) x )

Next we headed to Ellen's Energy Adventure, a big moving cinema all about th wonders of energy hosted by the hilarious Ellen DeGeneres & Bill Nye, the science guy. Funny as well as factual too, couldnt go wrong.

Now came Test track, a ride where family loyalty went out the window as we went head to head to design the most efficient car. Super fast, fun ride and good to see the competitive spirit from everyone - even Gracie was doing a little trash talking (well she was in my team, otherwise I wouldn't have encouraged it ; ). In the end, we failed to hit top spot, but our car was easily the best looking one out the lot (all designed by my lovely co-pilot Gracie).

Scores on the doors were as follows:

Ann, Kevin & Pauline - 208 Michael, SJ & Emily- 205 Me, Dad & Grace - 204 Patrick, Robert & Corrie - 156 (who intially claimed 226 - what a bunch 'a chancers!)

All  in all great fun and everyone loved it (especially Gracie who wanted go back on it straight away).

Living With The Land Fast Pass (on the other side of the park) up next, which we made it with 5 minutes to spare. Nice boat ride about farming and such (seriously) with Patrick even enquiring about the Behind The Scenes tour (or Behind The Seeds as they called it) - he just loves learning new things! He also managed to spot 2 hidden Mickeys on the ride (thats disguised Mickey symbols all over the Disney parks) -  so well done PG!

Quick stop at The Circle Of life, a wee environmental film featuring The Lion King's Simba, Timon & Pumba, which began with the song of the same name. That song gives me goosebumps every single time! *shudder*

After that was Soarin', which we had passes for, but everyone wanted to ride so meant we had to split up into two groups, one to watch Isabella while the other went on the ride. While we were waiting to ride (with views of an cool looking India Jones-esque style journey being mapped out on the screen before us), Robert asked the attendant out of the blue if we could get in the first row - good ole Ro! :)

This ride was Epic - its the only word to describe it. Flying through the air, over different landmarks of the world aking in hugs vistas, they even had different smells. Everyone loved it and even my Dad rearked it was the best ride yet as we walked off the ride.

Do you wanna build a snowman?

During the wait and switch-over of groups we came to the decision that the five of us and my mum and dad would head home after the last ride and try getting a proper bite to eat when it was a little quieter, whilst, Pauline, Michael & Co would remain in the park and finish off the remaining rides.

So onward it was to Frozen Ever After, Epcot's newest ride based on the extremely popular Disney movie and set in Norway (well Epcot's mini representation of Norway on their World Showcase). On our way, we bumped into Pluto (the dog, not the planet-oid-y thing), so used the opportunity to grab our first character autograph! Kids were really excited! There was a Disney Photo-pass photographer there too so managed to get some nice groups shots (except for ours, so had to use one of my own photos here as a backup).

The ride was a great little boat trip through the Kingdom of Arendelle with Anna and Elsa (who is my favourite princess without red hair, ok ok, she isnt really a princess, yeah I know, but still). Even the Snow-gies made an appearance! And with the ride came another ride photo from the Memory Maker - excellent! :D The kids loved it and Emily was skipping out of the ride singing Let It Go at the top of her voice! :)

So we said our goodbyes and left the other party then, who planned to continue their travels around the World Showcase and possibly grab Spaceship Earth, which they missed, on the way out. The World Showcase is an awesome thing, but I think the allure of a hearty meal after a long day was far too tempting for us.

We headed straight to Miller's Alehouse from the park in an attempt to avoid the queues and wait times... which we did! However once we were seated and after a quick scan of the menu - the Snow Crab that Gracie had set her heart on to share with me was no longer on the menu - she was more gutted than me! :( In its place I opted for a nice wee Flat Iron Steak & Coconut Shrimp combo, which was awesome. Grace and Ann chose to share the 35 Shrimp menu item (which was 35 shrimps funnily enough) and Grace inhaled about 18 of them. Man, that girl loves her seafood! The Nacho starter that Ann thought she might need however was an absolute mountain and in the end, defeated all of us (its really big enough for two peeps to share as a main meal if Im being honest). The food and menu options in the place are second to none so were definitely planning a return visit in the next few days with our entire group!

A second trip to Walmart rounded off the day in order that we could take a slightly more relaxed look at what they had to offer. The last time I was here I picked up some amazing Cinnamon Pecan coffee, but alas they appeared to no longer stock it or any equivalent. The boys picked up more trading cards, Grace picked up more Hatchimals and we got a variety of non-essential items including a Star Wars decal for the car, a Pecan pie (obviously I have a thing for Pecans) and some Harley Quinn Comics (and I have a thing for her too ; ). Had a look at the laptops too, which were ridiculously cheap, so toying with the idea of picking one up, but Ill need to do some in-depth investigations first.

Rest day on the cards for tomorrow with shopping planned in the am, so should a relatively quiet one. I'm kinda looking forward to it in all honesty, following the two successful but extremely packed days we've all had.

[sassycassie-s-writing]

American Princess

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): YouTube - Dan Howell/danisnotonfire feat. Phil Lester/AmazingPhil

Rating: PG

Original Idea: Modern Royalty AU! (Also I watched Cinderella again)

Notes: (Masterlist)(About Me) This was originally gonna be a short series, and it may still become one, but for now it’s just a one-shot.

^^^^^

The one upside of being royalty was the parties—even if half of the guests spent half the time Snapchatting the event instead of paying attention or participating. Luxurious balls with each detail attended to and good company. Not to mention it was hilarious to see some of the nobility drink too much and see usually serious men and women tipsily make their way through the night.

Dan stood on the balcony overlooking the ballroom. The peace summit had been going poorly, but the ball was going to lift everyone’s spirits and make them feel better so that, hopefully, the summit would improve.

Delegates from all countries of the world milled over the ballroom floor, hosted by the UK. Dan still felt too young to be king, but the crown had been passed onto him, and he was going to do the best he could. He looked around at the assembled crowd—trusted advisor standing behind him—and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “There’s someone missing,” he told Phil, wiping his sweating palms on his trousers.

“Who?” the advisor wondered.

“The American delegation.”

That was the moment the doors reopened, and in walked a single girl—who looked much different than usual. At the peace summit she’d been wearing skinny jeans and baseball shirts with combat boots or Converse—and her hair in a raggedy braid because she didn’t care how she looked. Usually she sported an American-flag design somewhere. Dan had never seen her look like this.

Her long, thick hair fell in a single curtain to her waist and her eyes seemed more intense than usual, enhanced by her makeup. He couldn’t see her shoes but he could guess that she wore heels of some sort. A tiara of diamonds rested gently on the top of her head, tucked snugly in her brown curtain.

But her dress was what really caught the eye.

It was the grandest ball gown Dan had ever seen—a rich shade of violet with an enormous skirt and tiny crystals all over it. There were several layers of tulle over the silk base and a tightly-fitted corset bodice. The whole gown seemed to glimmer and glisten and sparkle in the light. There was a beauty to it, of course, but also a sense of gracefulness. Despite the princess wearing it being one of the clumsiest people Dan had ever met—besides his advisor Phil, of course.

“There she is,” Phil remarked, almost sarcastically. Of course she had to make an entrance.

Dan rushed off the balcony, down the marble steps, and into the main body of the ballroom. He strode across the floor to where she was standing, alone, near the door. He extended his hand to her and gave her a slight bow.

“Dance with me and pretend like the world doesn’t exist,” Dan instructed the American princess. “Your Highness.”

She smiled. “It would be my honour, Your Majesty,” she replied, taking his hand.

At that signal, the orchestra began to play. The American princess and the British king started to waltz over the floor. “So, princess, how are you enjoying London?” he asked conversationally as she struggled a bit to keep up with his much longer legs.

She chuckled. “I’ve been enjoying it immensely. London is one of the only places I have ever truly wanted to travel to. I love the culture and the rich history and the scenery and the people and the sense of humour. I’d love to live here. But, the downside to our lives is that we can’t just live wherever we want. I have to stay in the country I may one day have to help my older brother run. I can’t be here. Unless—” She cut herself off but they both knew what she was going to say. She couldn’t stay in London unless she married a member of the British royalty—and Dan was pretty much the only one left.

“And what do you think of the peace summit?”

“Oh let’s not talk about politics tonight,” she implored. Dan couldn’t help but smirk.

“Okay,” he relented. “But, if I may ask, why not send your older brother here? You seem to spend half of the talks sitting with your knee on the table scrolling through Tumblr on your phone.”

The American princess snickered. “Oh, Your Majesty, I am listening to everything everyone says. My parents decided not to send my brother because he’s a hothead with very strong opinions and a temper. I’m much more moderate, relaxed, and willing to listen to what other people have to say. Not to mention I’m more logical than he is—and think outside the box for solutions to problems.”

Dan nodded understandingly, sweeping her out of the way of the edge of the onlookers. The first dance was reserved for the host monarch and whomever they chose to dance with—in this case, King Dan of the UK and the princess of America. Once they finished, everyone else could dance.

It was a stupid tradition that happened at every single peace summit for the past three hundred years—neither Dan nor the American princess liked it.

Which was the sole reason Dan had been reluctant to host the summit in London.

But with the clumsy American princess in his arms as they twirled over the marble floor, he found he didn’t have to worry as much as he thought he would. She was small and fit perfectly in his arms. So even though he was so much taller than her, he could guide her through the gentle waltz without too much trouble. She was quite adept at following him and seemed to know what he was going to do before he knew. She had almost perfect rhythm and kept up well without losing her steps.

When the orchestra led the waltz to a graceful close, Dan spun the princess under his arm and bent her back over his leg, letting her hair hang in open air as the violin music faded against the acoustics of the ballroom.

The next song came on and was a bit livelier. Dan popped the American princess back upright and bowed to her as the other delegations and attendees swarmed the floor to dance. This song wasn’t played by the orchestra—instead the DJ started a very popular song. With the modern music clashing with ball gowns and tuxedos, Dan felt it looked a bit like a secondary school prom.

“Thank you for dancing with me!” Dan shouted over the blasting speakers.

“Well, thank you for asking me!” she called back with a smile.

Dan glanced over both of his shoulders at the rest of the people. “Come with me! I want to show you something!” he suggested, offering her his hand. She raised one eyebrow and took it, letting him weave her through the mass of people on the dancefloor and out of the grand ballroom.

They wove through the palace and out onto a balcony. A light breeze fluttered the tulle on the princess’s dress and the tiny flyaway hairs on the top of Dan’s head.

London sprawled out before them—the massive metropolis glittered with light like the stars above them. The princess looked fondly out to the city while Dan watched her. There was an innocent, enchanted expression on her pretty face. She looked like she should one day run America. Dan had heard stories growing up about her father’s younger sister when she was young—a bit of a wild one with a plastic surgery addiction—and saw none of that princess in the one standing before him on his favorite balcony besides the one just outside his bedroom. The princess he watched stare in wonder and delight at the city was a relatively normal kid with a dose of common sense more than most of the other dignitaries.

“Y’know…” he started, jarring the girl from whatever reverie of London she was in. She turned to look at him with eyebrows raised expectantly. “If the message came directly from me… I could convince your parents to let you stay in the city for a while after the summit is over. Under my supervision and protection, of course.” The princess couldn’t help but give him a sarcastic expression.

“They would never agree to that. I’m not even the heir to the country but they still want me to learn how to run it.”

“What if… what if I gave them a legitimate reason to keep you in the UK for a while?”

“I don’t know if you could come up with one legitimate enough for them. They’re quite insistent on me learning as much as I can about the country in case something happens to my brother—leaving me to be queen.”

Dan cleared his throat awkwardly. “Would they agree if I said I wanted to… court you?”

That pulled all of her sarcasm and skepticism up short. She blinked in surprise and looked up at him, her eyes glimmering in the light from the city and stars. “They, uh… they might,” she admitted. If there was one thing her parents wanted more than her learning how to run America so that it wasn’t run into the ground by her hothead of a brother, it was to marry her off to an equally powerful ruler, guaranteeing her to become a queen.

Her parents were very political.

“But, they’d have to actually see us… courting in order to believe it. And I couldn’t ask you to do that,” she remarked.

“No. No. You wouldn’t have to ask,” Dan put in quickly. “I, er… I would like to court you.”

The American princess’s lips parted in surprise. “I… I… okay!”

[rememberthattime]

Chapter 22. Croatia

Chelsay and I have traveled all around the Seven Kingdoms: from Mereen to Dorne to the Wildling camps north of the Wall…

I swear this wasn’t on purpose though - we haven’t planned our trips around the Game of Thrones map (…We have). We didn’t go all the way to Morocco, Seville, or Iceland just for the fictional places I named above (…We did). So not to say that we’re keeping track (…We are), but at this point, we just happened to have now traveled through most of the show’s filming locations.

That said, there was still one set we’d yet to visit: King’s Landing, Westeros aka Croatia, Earth. Honestly, we went more for the sunshine than for the show (…We went for the Iron Throne).

Chelsay and I left for Dubrovnik only 10 days after Paris. Not much happened in the interim, except that Chelsay was in Berlin for the week after Paris, and I was in Geneva for the two days before Croatia. So, a couple average weeks…

On my third straight day of flights, we took off for Dubrovnik. We arrived late (around 11:00), so our conquest really began the next morning. From our hotel window, we took in our first glimpses of the undulating orange jungle that makes up the city’s signature rooftop skyline.

We started with breakfast (coffee, eggs, and bacon) on Dubrovnik’s main street. From this central spine, each of the old town’s tiny streets intersect, extending no farther than three blocks before reaching the fortress city’s massive stone walls. Although Dubrovnik is Croatia’s most popular city, it’s also a fort, so there isn’t much room to just roam around.

That said, we knew we’d eventually make this trip (again GoT), but it had to be carefully planned. Following the country’s freedom from Communist rule in the Homeland Wars, it’s become a MAJOR draw for tourists. From June through August, an unsupportable mass of visitors flood the small city. Like Jon Snow’s army in the Battle of the Bastards, the streets become a bottleneck of bodies stepping over one another. Instead of the Stark’s wolf insignia though, this tourist army fights under the banner of fanny packs and selfie sticks.

Anyway, that’s why we chose to visit in May: the cruise ships haven’t arrived yet, but the water is just warm enough to take a dip. The only drawback to going in May is that there is still a chance of rain… what are the odds of a rainy day on the Adriatic coast though, right?  Day 1 forecast: wet.

Dubrovnik is a city of sunshine, beaches, and nearby islands (and medieval fantasy dramas). It is not a city made for rainy days. … That said, Chelsay and I weren’t going to waste the day indoors. See, we’ve faced a few obstacles in our travels. This wasn’t our first rodeo. Every time we’re faced with a challenge, we always find a way to “just make something happen”. When Mary’s Bridge was closed for repair at Neushwanstein, we turned it into a hero view for just Chelsay and I. When winds atop Gyckognfuw (sp?) Glacier nearly canceled our snowmobiling tour in Iceland, we found a way to get snowmobiling AND added ATVing to boot. As we walked the wet and quiet town under our umbrellas, we brainstormed how we’d conquer this obstacle.

Before visiting Dubrovnik, we knew we wanted to kayak around Lokrum Island, which is just off the city’s coast. From researching, I knew there was a cave accessible only by kayak. …I figured that if we could battle the rain for a 20 minute paddle, we’d be able to dry off and wait out the weather under the cave’s cover.

Chels and I were clearly the only ones with this idea because every kayak rental shop we tried was closed. We were actually walking back to the hotel to regroup when we caught a guy carrying a kayak rental sign. The conversation went like this: Us: “Can we rent a kayak?” Him: “What? Really?” Us: “Yeah, give us a kayak.” Him: “Okay…. wait, really?” Us (Daenerys looking for her dragons voice): “GIVE. US. A. KAYAK.” Him: “Woof, suit yourselves.” (Takes picture of the crazy Americans as they leave the wet shore in jackets, ponchos, and a dry bag)

It was a battle getting out to the island: not only was it raining, but a brutal wind was blowing directly into our faces. We were also the only people on the water, so everyone in the town was looking at the two idiots out there in ponchos.

The 20 minute journey took twice as long because of the wind, but we eventually made it to the dry cave oasis. Chelsay and I laid out our stupid ponchos and pulled out the picnic we’d packed (which amazingly stayed dry). We explored the impossibly clear waters, played music, and likely delusional from exhaustion, danced around the cave like the arm-waving kid in the Katy Perry SNL performance.

So that was one more example of how Chelsay and I “just make something happen”. With positivity and ambition, we’d turned what could’ve been a wasted day indoors into a dance party in an island cave we had all to ourselves.

We successfully arm-waved until the weather passed, and when the rain subsided, we returned back to Dubrovnik for our dinner time reward of wines, meats, cheeses, and Croatian specialty pancakes.

Later that night, we took the city’s cable car up a nearby mountain for a view of the coastline at sunset. After a hunt for the perfect panoramic view of both Dubrovnik’s Old Town and the sinking sun, Chelsay and I looked on in awe as the sky turned from blue to pink to purple to red.

We woke up early the next morning to walk the fortress city’s surrounding walls, home to many GoT filming spots. Although we were visiting during “shoulder season”, we knew a cruise ship was arriving that day, so we wanted to tour King’s Landing before the crowds arrived. Pacing the nearly empty walls, we visited Cersi’s Walk of Shame, the Blackwater Bay battleground, and the many sites of Vaerys and Tyrion’s scheming.

Just as the Lannisters would have seen Stannis’ ships arrive, we looked across the orange rooftops as cruise ships pulled into the King’s Landing harbor. The town bells rang to warn of the incoming attackers (aka tourists), so Chelsay and I fled the city walls for its more peaceful nearby beaches.

For the next few hours, Chelsay and I sprawled out and relaxed under the newly returned sun. Similar to our trip to Santorini, we enjoyed rosé and iced coffees while trying to reverse our many months of sun deprivation in London.

With rosé, iced coffees, and a sun burn all in hand, Chelsay and I had conquered King’s Landing. Now, we were ready to set sail for our next destination: the Dalmatian island of Korcula.

Korcula is a relatively large island (about 90 minutes to drive around) known for two things: first, it claims to be the birthplace of explorer Marco Polo, and second, its unique white wine, Grk. Are those really two things to be proud of? Like, any notable social, political, or military contributions in your looong history? Nope, just the wine and a bold claim about a famous person’s birthplace, huh? Well, I guess that’s part of Korcula’s charm. 

While researching on the ferry from Dubrovnik, Chelsay and I decided we’d tour the island’s vineyards and beaches by bike. We envisioned a Wedding Crashers-style bike ride: beach cruisers and that song playing (“In the summertime, when the weather is fine…”). We picked up rental bikes in town, but about 10 minutes later, we started a gradual ascent. …You look up and see where the road leads, and it’s not flattening out anytime soon. We may have expected Wedding Crashers, but we quickly learned this would be more like our windy kayaking.

As hard as it was to reach the top of these hills, we thoroughly enjoyed the relaxing descent into the island’s wine country. Cruising past shallow, teal blue coastline and under a backdrop of the surrounding mountains, Chelsay and I eventually found ourselves in the endless grapevine fields of Bire Winery.

We took a brief reprieve from the sun for a taste of the winery’s Grk, rosé, and red selection. A robust, earthy flavor made by the angle of the vineyard against the ocea—aaand I don’t know what I’m talking about. Chelsay is the sommelier between us, and she liked it enough to walk away with a bottle of rosé.

It was soon impossible to tell whether my skin was red from the sun or the wine. I was in the middle of telling the bartender how the Cubbies came back from 3-1 when Chelsay recommended I drink some water. I was soon hydrated enough to continue to bike tour, and we took the winery’s recommendation in heading to a quiet nearby beach. If the extra water at the winery hadn’t sobered me up, it took about one toe in the chilly Mediterranean to do the job.

After resting on the beach for a few hours, Chelsay and I felt refreshed enough to reconquer the hills on the way back to Korcula’s old town. Later, and in need of heavy carbs after our ride, we found some homemade pasta before touring the small village as the sun set.

That night, we took a late ferry to Split before making a THREE HOUR drive to Plitvice National Park. This midnight drive might seem aggressive, but I’ve written about this many times: Chelsay and I won’t settle for less than the perfect trip. We’re like the Underwoods on Election Day… They’re taking the Ohio by any means necessary, and we’re experiencing everything Croatia has to offer no matter what, including Plitvice.

Even after our 1:00 AM arrival, we woke up at 7:00 to make sure we’d see the park before dozens of tour buses and crowds arrived. You see, Plitvice is such a bizarre treat left by nature, and one must enjoy it in peace.

Plitvice sits a few hours inland from the Adriatic Sea and is surrounded by arid, rocky flatlands (think West Texas), yet this lush oasis hides 16 lakes interconnected by waterfalls. It doesn’t hide from Google though, so based on our image searches, Chelsay and I had high expectations.

It was even more breathtaking in person though. Just 20 steps into the park, we stumbled into a dramatic panoramic view.

The place felt like Jurassic Park, and the six mile hike to follow this initial view only furthered the feeling. Countless waterfalls cascaded down dramatic 300 foot walls. The edges of the lakes were so shallow that they took a teal hue, before descending into deeper blue depths. An abundance of fish and other sea life bustled in the impossibly clear waters (Chelsay called it an ecosystem in a water bottle). A network of plankways weaved in and out of the jungle of green canopies, connecting the 16 lakes. I’m not sure there is a way to quantify nature, but it’s safe to say Plitvice has a lot of it.

After kayaking in Dubrovnik, biking around Korcula, and now hiking through Plitvice, Chelsay and I were exhausted. We returned to Split that evening for one last meal at Bokeria (truffle pasta, lamb croquettes in melted cheese, and bombolini) and then quickly toured the city’s main attraction: Diocletian’s Palace. Like, really quickly: we were back in bed before the sun went down.

As exhausted as we were though, we knew it was the good kind of tired… like the feeling after exercising or after finishing a big project at work.

It’s the sign of a good trip. I’ve written about this before, but our biggest gauge for vacation success is whether it delivers something unique and fun every day. Iceland, Greece, Scotland, and Seville are the first to come to mind as examples of sustained excitement, though there have been many others too. After four days of cave dancing, coastal sunsets, beach lounging, vineyard bike rides, and Jurassic hikes, it’s safe to say Croatia delivered as well. Plus, now we can check King’s Landing off our list.