#also his ultimate is literally I Think Therefore I Am

[pyrotechnicallyabee]

dr ratio's name being Veritas made me lose my shit when i learnt it. his name is literally a concept. its the fucking ancient roman value of honesty. his full fucking name (if translated into english) is basically 'True Reckoning/Calculation'.

Edit: Revised possible translation: 'Truthful Reckoning'. I initially played more into the calculation side rather than the judgemental side due to his academic accolades but he's also very judgemental in canon.

[byuntrash101]

realistic sex with wooyoung

wooyoung x f!reader fluff | smut | mdni a/n: woo is the next entry to this series where i try to imagine how each member would actually fuck, as ✨realistically✨ as possible. disclaimer: i say realistic but lets be honest this is pure delulu behaviour and total fiction. everything is solely based on the vibes the boys give off.

right off the bat: wooyoung is a huge flirt. you (and the whole entire universe) have always known that. i feel like to be compatible with woo you have to be aware of that. you might have to be a bit of a flirt yourself.

i feel you guys were constantly bickering and then flirting and then bickering again because that's just how the dynamic felt right for you. whether it’s bickering or flirting it’s always playful and for the latter each time one of you would take it a notch further just to see the other cave in and giggle and back away then it’s back to bickering playfully.

at some point he didn’t back away and giggle and you didn’t either and it happened. you kissed and that felt electrifying. all those pent up feelings you both started to develop for each other but both masked with humor and witty jokes and love/hate disses got out at once.

all these feelings got pour into that one fateful kiss that sealed something into you.

i feel that's how your story started. it just all flowed very naturally. both guided by just your gut feeling about each other.

once you got together together the bickering didn’t stop at all. because it’s just what you do, what you always did. except now he’s not just “stupid” he’s your “stupid bf”.

actually maybe the bickering got even worse because you both just unlocked a whole new layer of the relationship that allows you to be more secure and therefore even more annoying (lovingly). 

you’re that kind of couple that if people aren't close to you and don’t know how you function you don’t seem right for each other when in fact it couldn’t be further from the truth. because your chemistry and passive understanding of each other is unmatched. because you are both adaptive (more on that laterrrrr wink wonk blink blonk) you can read the room you know when it’s time to annoy him and when it’s time to cuddle

speaking of that cuddling/kissing/lovey dovey shit. that tile can be ANYTIME wooyoung just gets into the touchy mood UNANNOUNCED. it doesn't matter if there’s 8 billion people watching or you’re all alone. he absolutely will launch himself into your arms and demand to be babied or wrap his arms around you and squeeze the life out of you until he’s satisfied with the amount of touchy feely time he’s got with you.

he will also sneak in neck kisses and he doesn’t care if you’re ticklish or if you are just in the dorm couch and jongho and joong are there judging because they both don’t get pda. but that's because they get the urge that wooyoung feels when he craves to be near you to feel your skin and your warmth to feel your heart beating next to his. they don’t get it but he doesn’t care because you understand, you get him. 

our pda king (bend the knee)

you’re just perfect for each other

remember that bit about woo being adaptive? i think the perfect person for wooyoung has to share that trait with him and that has to apply in the bedroom because i am convinced this man is a rare specimen of a perfect 50/50 switch.

okay like you know everyone is always like “woo #1 babygirl” and i can't agree more he is the ultimate but hear me out

sure woo is a brat everyone can agree with that but have you seen how the members respect him? he makes it very clear to them that sometimes it’s okay to pull his leg and sometimes it’s not. sometimes i feel they're low-key scared of him. have you seen the look he gives when he's mad? that screams dom to me (argue with the wall)

one time he’d be all whiny and literally beg on his knees for you to have your way with him. flashing you the pleading puppy eyes being all like “please y/n. pleasepleaseplease touch me. i-i can’t take it anymore” while he produces the most delectable fingerlicking good pathetic little moans and ruts his hips against your thigh in the dead of the night because little baby got a excited by an extra realistic dream. of course you cave in immediately but he doesn’t need to know that so you tease just a little (or a lot) before giving him what he wants. “aww baby? what do you want?” you say running your nails up his bare thighs, making him shiver. before you finally grab a hold of his hard and dripping cock. and then it’s all broken thank you’s and high pitched moans until he shakes and cums all over your hand.

other times he’s the one in control. and he does it oh so well. getting you really needy without even touching you. cause i think wooyoung as a way with words when it comes to foreplay. if you’re both having a lazy morning in bed it would only take minutes for him to lean over you and whisper all kinds of dirty things in your ear until you feel yourself getting sticky between the thighs and you can't help squirming to find some friction.

i think he absolutely loves seeing you like this he loves the power he has over you when you allow him 

when you’re too far gone and your eyes are half lidded and your mind has slipped into another layer of your consciousness he would ask you “baby~ why are you squirming like this?” and he would be so happy to only hear desperate whimpers as replies. “you want me to touch you?” queue the evil smirk™. you know the one! that one smirk only the jung wooyoung can pull. just picture him! over you, soft lips stretched into a sly little smirk, displaying his shiny teeth, the mischievous and satisfied glint in his fox-like eyes????? ughhhhh. typical wooyoung!! so on brand!!!!!

one other thing that’s typical wooyoung behaviour is being loud af and that doesn't stop when he steps in the bedroom. woo is vocal with anything dirty talk and moans. he will fucking surround dolby 7.1 sound those moans and grunts and pants right in your ear and tell you everytime he’s about to stuff you full of cum for your enjoyment. 

but one thing is certain whether he’s subbing or domming that boy likes it ROUGH. he likes to be put back in his place as much as he likes to put you back in yours (we love a couple of switches that found each other <3).

woo is probably one of the freakiest of the group. along with hwa and joong. but when hwa’s freakiness is mainly brought out by your own. he will be more or less freaky depending on you because he’s a pleaser he wants you to feel good. joong and woo, on the other hand are consistently freaky.

i think woo is low-key a sadist. he loves pain play. i feel he enjoys impact play especially if their’s visible marks that are left there to testify of what he did to you/you did to him. he loves to know you belong to each other and he would look with adoration at his bruised knees (stayed there for hours to worship you) the next day.

but that’s not it! i think woo’s kink of predilection is ✨degradation✨ (no one is surprised he literally admitted it himself) that's the big one for him and i feel for you too (yeah ik you). well it’s got to be. because if you guys became a thing because you were non stop roasting each other that shit would only hide something latent underneath all this bickering. and that ladies and gents is a degradation kink (i dont make the rules).

that being said i think at the beginning of the relationship wooyoung was a little unsure about it. he knew he liked it but he didn’t initiate it and he could have creamed his pants the first time you slipped a little derogatory comment to test the waters yourself. i imagine it at a house party (maybe a mutual’s friends apartment) a little after you both made it official. there’s music you’re both dancing and you slip your hand in his hair and you give it a sharp pull it with that he let out a moan right into your ear that was fortunately covered by the music but you heard him clear as day and right after you felt the consequences of your actions pressed hard against your stomach. you instinctively push your body even closer to wooyoung and you smirk up at him when his cheeks flush pink. “you got hard in the middle of this crowd just because i pulled on your hair a little?” you leaned in to whisper in his ear “that’s disgusting”. the magic words! you felt him twitch against your stomach and his hot breath quickened as it fanned your ear. “fuck” he cursed under his breath trying so hard not to give in to his primal instincts and just dry hump you right then and there. “please say that again” you heard him beg in your ear before exhaling a big shaky sigh of need. “you’re a disgusting little pervert” and 0.000002 secs later he was hushering you in the guest bathroom and to fuck your brains inside you out.

after that you unlocked a new stage in your relationship. you could get a little mean (aka very mean he likes it when you’re very mean) and he could be himself fully. making you beg on your knees for his cock. calling you his little slut, his cum hungry whore, his perfect little cocksleeve. and it was all said lovingly and it felt right for the both of you

happy freaky little couple ugh so cute im gonna barf

IF U WANNA HELP ME PLEASE REBLOG WITHOUT USING THE COMMUNITY LABELS 🖤

a/n: finally back with this series! please give me lots of love because im finally getting out of a terrible writer's block :(

want to see another member? request it in the comments or asks <3

realistic sex with seonghwa, with mingi, with yunho, with san

ateez masterlist | navigation

[halfagone]

A Mandalorian Halfa Jedi?

I am thinking... about my Danny Phantom x Star Wars AU again. I mentioned this in the Haunting Heroes discord server, but imagine this:

Danny gets lost in the Star Wars universe, maybe they're part of the same universe, maybe not. We know that Earth technically exists there, so it's possible. Nonetheless, Danny gets lost and is eventually picked up by the Jedi. It is during the Clone Wars era, at the height of the war. Ectoplasm either functions the same as the Force out in larger space, or it easily passes off as the Force. Therefore, Danny is considered Force-sensitive and brought to the Jedi council.

He's far too old, older than even Anakin was, but he already displays some skill with the blade (thanks to his mom's training), and he's far too powerful with the Force to leave for the Sith or Dark Side users running about to find him. Those like Count Dooku or Asajj Ventress or whoever Dooku's master is (and, depending on the timeline, Maul and his brother Savage as well).

It's decided that Obi Wan should train him, since he did well with Anakin despite Anakin's older age for a youngling and lack of familiarity with Jedi customs and culture. As well as Obi Wan's own young age as a Padawan himself at the time. Surely, Obi Wan could whip him into shape and they need all the help they can get on the field.

Anakin does not like Danny at first. Not at all. He might have joked all he liked beforehand about Obi Wan getting another padawan, but seeing it happen is an entirely different experience. Danny gets along well with Obi Wan, with his dry, witty humor and his tendency for unorthodox strategy. Worse still, Ahsoka likes Danny. These two are peas in a pod, partners in crime. It feels like he's been forgotten and replaced and by someone seemingly better.

And then one day, when the 212th and the 501st are stationed together, he finds Danny shaking with night terrors, the Dark Side so strong in him Anakin is literally freezing from the cold. It's only then that he understands Danny a little bit better, and sees himself in this kid. Danny fights the Dark Side within him just like he does, and he never lets it consume him. Maybe for once, he can learn a little something from this kid too, and not let it overwhelm him.

And here is the part where I realized a golden opportunity:

What if the Jedi think Danny is a Mandalorian that was cast out for being Force-sensitive? Danny has an affinity for weapons beyond the blade, like cannons and guns and snipers. He talks about how his family taught him to use these weapons, that he's known this all his life. He talks about how his family wears suits all the time and hardly ever takes them off. He talks about always being afraid to reveal his powers to his parents, and how ultimately he ran away because of them.

Oh all the scenarios that could come out of this~

But now I'm also thinking about how strong Danny would feel in the Force. How much Danny could do on the battlefield because now he doesn't have to hold back. Droids might have more intelligence than a lot of sentients give them credit for, but if it's between the very alive, flesh and bone, clones of the Grand Republic Army and the Separatists' metal droids, Danny is absolutely going to be ruthless if it means the clones are safe.

Danny can literally control the weather. Imagine what happens when Danny creates an electrical storm for the first time to take down an enemy starship and the clones just look between themselves, whispering about how: "I didn't know Jedi could do that." "Is that how the Force works?" "Kriff if I know-"

And that's another thing! Clones! Danny would be absolutely appalled that so many clones were created and their freedom at the end of the Clones Wars is still up in the air.

It also ties beautifully with his love for space and now he's living the dream! Except space isn't what he thought it would be. And there are planets out here that have barbaric standards. It's the adventure of a lifetime! But there's a part of him that still wants to go home.

Just- all the possibilities and shenanigans this could bring. ✨

[stagefoureddiediaz]

Buck (and Eddie) mini meta - 7x10 (probably but could also be 7x09!)

I was going to make a quick post about this new shirt we have bts pictures of Buck and Eddie wearing - but well, I spiralled and it turned into this!! (under the cut to save your dash!)

So let's do Eddie first shall we!!

there are actually two shirts we've got bts of Eddie wearing which have me 👀👀👀

first up is this green number we have bts of him wearing at the firehouse (not 100% sure if this is an actual costume or just Ryan's clothes but I'm fairly sure it's an Eddie outfit!)

Why am I side eyeing so hard at this do you ask? well its a very similar shirt to the one we have seen him in before - in 5x13 when he has his break down. Its not the same, but similar - no cut off sleeves, but its the same army green.

We see this tee at he culmination of Eddie isolating himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) through the start of 5b and then blowing up his life in 5x13 - when he trashes his room and Chris calls Buck.

I think we're about to see something similar play out in the last couple of episodes of season 7 - Eddie increasingly choosing to isolate himself from the fire fam (especially Buck) as he spirals out with this vertigo arc. Ryan has said in interviews that Eddie will be isolated by the end of the season, this costume therefore parallels Eddies arc of 5b - especially if we include the use of white on Eddie as well (and Buck in Blue in the same scene!). Eddie does something drastic and then pretends everything is ok - before proceeding to spiral out and blow up his life in some way.

5x11 - we have the aftermath of Eddie leaving he 118 - dinner with Buck and Taylor when he and Buck have a mini disagreement about Eddie coming back to work - which is preceeded by us being shown how Eddie is not actually ok - leading in to 5x13 when Eddie has his breakdown whilst wearing an army green tee and Buck breaks down the door to get to him and literally steps in to the mess, bringing the 118 into help as well (represented by Bobby being there when Eddie wakes up).

Then we have season 7 - the aftermath of Eddie asking Marisol to move in with him and then it is made clear that Eddie has moved too fast, that he doesn't actually know Marisol, or ultimately feel comfortable with the relationship - and now we've watched him (still in white in the scene where he sees Kim) spiralling out and heading towards isolating himself in the same way he did in season 5. The use of a similar army green tee in 7x10 suggests that we're going to see something similar unfold as things come to a head in the vertigo arc. Im especially intrigued because Buck it seems is going to be in uniform for the scene (which side note plays into the Buck and Eddie blue green colour palette they've been using and in a reverse of the gym scene from 7x05!) we don't know where in the episode this scene falls, but my guess would be that its actually a scene from earlier in the episode - allowing for the blow up to happen and the fall out begin. (I also think this because of Helena and Ramon appearing - which I think will be later in the episode and in response to Kim's existence being more widely known about, but thats just me speculating!)

We do also have the t-shirt from 7x01 - which is not the same as the other two - its darker and more brownish than the two above, but it does play into a similar narrative - Eddie finding out about Chris and his multiple girlfriends and Buck stepping in (at Eddies request this time) to help and support the Diaz boys!

Eddie outfit two!

Then we have this outfit - which is contrary to popular belief, not the will reveal outfit, but actually the Ana as Eddies girlfriend reveal to Chris outfit.

The two outfits are very similar, but the will reveal outfit is a navy blue shirt (which is important as it plays into both blue/green and blue/yellow theory - which gains even more significance now we know that it is likely this was meant to be the beginning of at the very least a queer narrative for Buck and the implication is that it would've been the beginning of buddie canon) this shirt and the Ana reveal shirt are both black and have silver eyelets on the shirt opening

For me, the fact that it is the same outfit as that reveal rather than the will reveal is suggestive that this outfit is in some way going to be connected to the reveal of Kim. In the same way that the Ana reveal outfit is connected to two scenes

- Eddie telling Chris and the salad bowl getting smashed,

- Eddie realising Chris has gone missing only to find out he's run to Buck's

I feel like this one is also likely to be connected to two scenes - what they are and where this hospital scene fits within the wider episode, it is hard to fully form ideas on the full meaning behind the fact that he is wearing the same outfit. Because does this scene come before or after the arrival of Helena and Ramon, what is the connection to Bobby being in the hospital and Eddie wearing this outfit? My personal opiion is that this outfit is going to be involved in people finding out about Kim.

As an addition to this, we should also talk about the fact that Eddie always wears black in relation to key scenes with Marisol and Kim and it continues a trend of Eddie wearing black in key scenes in relation to his relationships.

When Eddie and Marisol meet at the hardware store he is in black, when asking her to move back out, black shirt. Then with Kim -both scenes with her when he talks to her he is in black - black shirt in the store and a black jacket when they go on their date.

He was also wearing Black in key moments with Shannon (divorce request scene as well as in flashbacks) and with Ana ( first meeting and panic attack scenes). I've spoken before about the choice to put him in a black singlet when he's in an emotionally vulnerable place, but with these additional scenes in mind, as well as the fact that we see him wearing black in the hospital during Bucks coma, as well as the fact we also get a similar shirt on Eddie back in 7x01.

I think its fair to associate black more generally with Eddie being in a vulnerable place emotionally - the singlets are just worn at points when those vulnerable moments are about to tip Eddie into something stupid and this makes the use of the singlet in 7x04 for the basketball game even more interesting as it places Eddie into emotional vulnerability around Bucks bi journey and less about Bucks own emotional vulnerability - plays a little into the idea that they were going to have Eddies queer journey come before Bucks!

From a purely speculative position - my feeling is that this outfit comes after the arrival of Helena and Ramon and possibly towards the end of the episode.

The fact Eddie is wearing it at the hospital is possibly important, but I get the feeling it will be an outfit with more than one key scene attached to it (much like Eddie being in a black shirt when Buck came out to him was in two key scenes - Bucks coming out and Eddie asking Marisol to move out).

In the same way that in season 4 the Ana reveal was paired with a scene where Chris runs to Buck my feeling is that we're going to see something similar in season 7 with this - further adding to the parallels between the two seasons (see this excellent post by @iinryer for more on those!).

Part of my thinking comes from the fact we had this other bts of Buck, Eddie, Chris and Helena and Ramon. So we know that Eddie will be wearing a maroon henley for a scene in this episode.

I've spoken about Eddie wearing maroon long sleeved tops in relation to things being about Chris and Eddie parenting, and this one is likely to follow that theme, especially with Chis seemingly wearing the same outfit he was wearing when the fact he had multiple girlfriends was revealed.

The fact that buck is in a reverse outfit to the one from his discussion with Chris after that reveal (navy blue bottoms and yellow ochre top v yellow ochre bottoms and navy blue top), suggests to me that the are trying to do a couple of things here - they are flipping the scene - so it is still about a multiple girlfriends reveal, just Eddies rather than Christophers. It is also possibly a way to contrast the fact they set up Buck as sitting in parallel to Shannon (from both a costuming and directorial perspective), now they are reversing it and setting them in juxtaposition with one another - playing on the concept of one being alive while the other is dead and contrasting the actual reality of Eddies life with Eddies rose tinted version of things - the version he's trying to recreate with a doppelgänger.

Onto Buck

The shirt that changes colour depending on which picture you look at - is it brown and cream or dark greyish brown and blue/grey?!!

My personal feeling is that it will look more brown and cream on camera, but that we might see a little bit of the blue pinstripe come through! This means we need to not only look at Buck in pinstripes, but also when he has worn brown!

So lets look at when we've seen Buck wear brown!

We have 2x05 - a scene where Maddie is ranting about Gloria calling her constantly. In this scene Buck is in a brown marl tee (you'll have to take my word for it - I ran out of pictures and this one was the least important!), personally I don't think it fits into the narrative as it is a tee rather than a shirt or jacket, so I'm not including it in my wider anaylsis!

We get Brown sports jacket Buck - in 3x04 when he delivers the results of the 118's assessment and discovers Lena filing his space - Buck gets jealous and a little mad. (had to include the still where Edie is checking out Bucks ass because it will never not be funny and now has the added layers to it`!)

one episode later and we get more brown in the divorced buddie era 1.0 supermarket arguement of 3x05.

Things go quiet on the brown front for Buck until 4x14 and the 'it would've been better if it had been me who got shot' scene - this is is a borderline brown - it sits in the yellow ochre spectrum, but is closer to brown than yellow! This, like the last tine he wore brown, comes in the aftermath of Buck doing something stupid (climbing the crane)

Then Buck doesn't wear any brown in season 5, so its on to season 6 where we have 6x04 and this russet brown (which is a reddish brown) which Buck wears when Connor pays him a visit regarding the sperm donation.

Then later in the same season - 6x18 - we have the most recent Buck in brown sighting - when he is talking to Connor once more about Kameron being at his loft. with the added bonus of this being veritcally ribbed making it look like stripes!

As you can see we only see Buck wear brown in very specific moments and they tend to come in pairs - we get bright russety browns in the build up to Buck doing something stupid followed by a darker more muddy brown in the aftermath (in both s2 and s6). Only the one from season 4 doesn't fit the pattern as it doesn't have a pair.

But while events in seasons 3 and six are essentially of Bucks making - he sets things in motion - season 4 is not - Buck is not the instigator, he is a bystander dropped into the middle of something, if anything the fact his brown has yellowish undertones plays into its having a reverse effect - that it is the same as the russet browns - setting something in motion, but its pair is the brighter yellow ochre shirt from the will reveal - which sits in opposition to the darker browns - its not something Buck needs or wants to try and fix - its more of an affirmation of Bucks belonging and not something he needs to fight for.

I've spoken before in various meta's about brown being a colour of stability support and protection. it is also a colour of wisdom and counsel - and I think all of these will come into play with this new shirt in some capacity, because to put Buck in brown at this point is definitely a choice with intention behind it.

Now onto Buck in vertical stripes!

We'll do the light ones first. It's still insane to me that the first time we ever see Buck in vertical stripes is the shooting scene in 4x13.

Then ten episodes later, in 5x13 we see the next white striped shirt and its when Taylor is moving into the loft. These are the only two we have in a white and black/grey colour way.

The next time we see light stripes is in 6x01 - only now they are cream and blue rather than white and black/grey - when Buck moves his armchair and decides he doesn't need a couch .

Followed by 6x08 when Buck is in Uncle Buck mode and looking after Jee and being given the run around by her - again cream and blue.

The last Buck in light shirts with stripes sighting is from 7x05 - when he meets with Tommy for coffee, this time its cream with black and red stripes.

Then we have a couple of outliers - this light blue jacket from 6x01

and this grey one from 6x09

Then we have the dark ones!

This one from 4x14 when Taylor appears back on his doorstep after the shooting and kissing him

This one from 5x09 - the most awkward 'I love you' scene in the history of mankind

6x04 when he tells Conor and Kameron that he will be their sperm donor

in 6x07 we get two - both when he is trying to donate sperm and not being successful in this endeavour

in 6x17 we see him in this shirt when Maddie comes by for help with getting her stuck engagement ring off

and finally we have Buck and Tommys first date - which ends in failure.

and now we have a brown and cream/blue one joining the mix!

I've written before about Bucks vertically striped shirts - in various episode metas, as well as a separate post which is linked on my pinned post under Buck, But I'm going to talk about them again because he just keeps on wearing them at really interesting moments!

Buck seems to wear them at moments when he is essentially ‘imprisoned’ by something mentally - at moments when he either steps forwards or backwards in his self development, or stays in stasis - and which of these it is, is determined by the colour of the shirt and the stripes. The lighter ones are connected to moving forward and ultimately escaping, while the darker ones are about Buck being trapped and moving in the wrong direction.

Starting with the white shirts - I know on the face of it, it isn't easy to see either of the white shirts with black pinstripes as Buck moving forward, but while the scenes they are worn in themselves may not seem to be freeing, the resulting actions - the will reveal for the first one and the second one reveals Bucks true thoughts on his and Taylors relationship and thus marks the beginning of the end, I mean obviously the kiss is the actual moment that marks the beginning of the end but this moment - when he is talking to Maddie, the audience is made aware that Buck really and truly isn't all in with Taylor and that he has imprisoned himself - his ability to recognise that - the fact he is able to verbalise that he is afraid of being left - that is the moment of growth and escape for him.

The unhappy moments, the moments when he is regressing or clinging are signified by the black shirts with white or silver pinstripes.

With Taylor the two scenes we get black shirts with pinstripes are connected to Buck being in trauma response mode - the first in the aftermath of the shooting - starting a relationship when he's in a super raw place - his best friend has been shot and he's looking after said best friends son and climbing cranes to try and protect the rest of his found family (also adding Maddie's impending PPD to this as well as the Daniel of it all although those are less central in this moment in time).

Then the second one comes in the 'I kinda love you for it' scene - and off the back of Buck feeling and fearing that he is being left - that Taylor is pulling away from him.

The three all connected to the sperm donation all play into the narrative that Buck hasn't thought the sperm donation through fully - that the universe is screaming at him and he's trapping himself in a prison - we do see some of that play out as the season progresses when he becomes embroiled in Conor and Kameron's marriage and pregnancy dramas when his part in it all should've been done.

The scene with the stuck ring is a scene very much about Maddie but Buck does drop himself in it on two fronts - the ring cutter and in letting Maddie know that Hen and Chim had an arguement over Chim proposing to Maddie.

Buck and Tommys first date - again a prison of Bucks own making - this shirt very much plays into the disastrous nature of the date - with Bucks 'I'm and Ally' and comment about going to 'find chicks'

Then we have the shirts that somewhere in the middle. - the blue one from 6x01 where we have a Buck doing some mental self torture trying to work out why he’s been passed over for the interim Captain job but finally figuring it out,

The three cream ones are all essentially the cure for the previous, darker stripes - they play into the idea that Buck is learning and growing - in a way he wasn't when it was just black and white shirts and stripes from seasons 4 and 5 when we got a white shirt followed soon after by a black shirt (4x13 - White - 4x14 - black) or vice versa (5x09 - black - 5x13 - white).

We have 6x01 with the blue then cream - Buck in a mental prison around what he wants in life, but choosing to embrace being on his own and seeing where life takes him by the end of the episode. 6x04 and 6x07's navy blues connected to the sperm donation arc followed by 6x08's cream and blue one of the very real children in his life - one who he gets to be an active part of watching grow up. 7x04's navy date shirt one followed by 7x05's cream, black and red shirt when Buck requests and is granted a do over with Tommy

So how is this brown and cream one going to fit in? Well that is the million $$$$ question isn't it! My feelings are that it's going to fit in with the pattern and have a reverse one to go with it. Now I have two theories - the first is that its actually the brown pair to the one from season 4 - that its going to connect into Buck's statement that it would've been better for Chris if he'd been the one hurt - and therefore connect into the will of it all, playing on the concept of Chris (and Buck) finding out about Kim - connecting Eddies outfit into the equation - and lead to Buck once again stepping up to look after or support Chris in some capacity (maybe we'll get a parallel of Chris running to Buck after finding out about Ana and have Chris running to Buck after finding out about Kim, who knows!).

The other option is that we'll only see the pair to this brown striped shirt later down the line - whether we see that before the end of the season or have to wait for the start of season 8 I do't know - it really depends on how they close out this season and the Buck and Eddie arcs.

I'd like to think the fact that its brown and therefore means stability, support, protection and wisdom, means that it will be connected to Buck discovering Eddies cheating and then stepping up to support him and Chris through the fall out (after perhaps taking a moment to consider things) and that it is tied into the season 4 parallels, but I guess we'll all have to wait and see!

Essentially all of Bucks striped and or brown tops have a pair and play on the idea of light and dark to varying degrees as well as the concept of being trapped or imprisoned by some form of traumatic event.

Hopefully this makes sense and that you've enjoyed reading this deep dive into Bucks stripes and Eddies wearing of black! I can't wait to hear your thoughts!

Tagged people below

@theladyyavilee @mistmarauder @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @bewilderedbuckley @spotsandsocks

@bewitchedbewilderedbisexual @rogerzsteven @wanderingwomanwondering @oneawkwardcookie @leothil

@copyninjabuckley @shammers86 @crazyfangirlallert @missmagooglie @katyobsesses

@radiation-run @gayandbifiremenofmine @bi-moonlight @crazyaboutotps @princesschez75

@alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @sherlocking-out-loud @satashiiwrites @lover-of-mine @yramesoruniverse

@extasiswings @favouritealias @pop-kam @b-dwolf @maygrcnt

@chaosandwolves

[maxwellatoms]

Do you have a favorite of your own characters? Or certain ones that you feel particularly connected to? I feel like creators tend to put bits of themselves into their characters--are any of them like that for you? Just wanna say your work is a huge inspiration to me and really helped shape my art and taste in media growing up, thanks for putting your work out into the world!!!

Theoretically, I love them all.

They're all a part of me in some way.

I've discovered over the years that I just can't handle characters I can't relate to. Most specifically, Billy, Mandy, and Grim are major facets of my personality. I purposefully related them to Freud's Id, Ego, and Superego, but they're all very specifically also a part of who I am. Billy is my fun-loving lust for freedom from schedules and consequences. Mandy is the part of me that realizes that Billy will destroy us all, so there must be structure. Grim is just trying to live his life. He wants to watch TV and pet cats, but life (unlife?) just won't give him a break. He's the viewpoint character to my Asperger's.

Irwin is the sad-sack/misguided hero redeemed, which is always a trope I love.

Eris is specifically the Discordian Eris, but also the extreme end of that Billy lust for freedom and the will of the RNG gods. (Good gravy -- my current BG3 playthrough)

Nergal is my love for Lovecraftian/Howardian Mesopotamian deities as has-beens.

Jeff the Spider (quite literally me at the time of his inception) was Too Nice, and therefore a sucker.

Hoss Delgado is the knowledge that if you gaze too long into the abyss... you end up with a chainsaw for a leg.

Then (because this is a collaboration) you've got characters who are primarily created by and representative of other people. For example, Fred Fredburger was created by C.H. Greenblatt. Sperg was created by Gord Zajac (as was Hoss, really). Boogey was created by Spencer Laudiero. All of these artists infused some piece of themselves into the character.

This is (IMO) where it gets fun. It's the ultimate Role Playing Game. It's childhood play made manifest. I've got my Luke Skywalker figure and you've got your Darth Vader figure and we've got two COBRA H.I.S.S. tanks and a Muffy from Battlestar Galactica and we're gonna hash this shit out.

Ideally, I think I'd want a "Simpsons World". A world where there are zero (or as close as possible) extraneous characters. Everyone represents something and everyone matters. I was so close with B&M. Fingers crossed I get there one day.

[doctorprofessorsong]

Destiel Fic Recs

Let's all pretend that I didn't just do one of these because I have clearly been consuming fic at an alarming rate.

A Beginner's Guide to Communing with the Dead by suspiciousflashlight @huntingthehaggis (Mature, 77k,)

Listen. I am actually mad at all y'all cause this fic has existed since 2013 and nobody told me to read it until now.

Detective Dean Winchester is haunted (literally) by the murder of a little girl. Unable to move on, he makes the decision to summon an ancient creature, Castiel, using forbidden magic. But the murder is only the beginning and he and Cas find themselves in a race against time to fight an ancient evil.

This fic has everything. Immaculate worldbuilding. Trueform Cas. Impeccable humor. Seriously, I devoured it. I'm shocked it took me this long to find it (probably because it's older), but I'm so happy I did.

The Beginning by valleydean (emmbrancsxx0) @valleydean (Explicit, 129k)

A horrorfest Endverse fic, Mallory tackles what happened between the Croatoan infection and Dean and Cas' arrival in Camp Chitaqua. It's canon compliant and it really digs into Dean losing hope and becoming the darker version of himself and Cas falling into addiction and losing his angelic powers. 

It's angsty and brutal and gross in the way zombie stories are. It's also got shining moments of love in the face of hopeless odds. Plus there's a character named River so you know it's good.

I also think watching the degradation of these two characters, and the way their love can't be denied even then is just really a good read. 

Above & Below by murron (Explicit, 45k)

Speaking of older fics to lose your fucking mind over, this fic is absolutely immaculately done. Steeped in canon and set in S6, Dean, Cas and Soulless Sam embark on a journey through the circles of hell. Their mission is to recover Sam’s soul and their brother Adam from the cage.

It's really beautifully constructed with the vision of Hell pulled from various pieces of lore. This is a horror story for sure, but it's not a hopeless one. It's more like an epic mythological journey. And at its heart is the love story of Dean and Cas, and a lot of healing for Dean and Sam.

It's high concept. It's poetic. It's a top tier story to meltdown over.

Sentinel by Followsthebees (Explicit, 15k) @follows-the-bees

A delightful entry from the monsterfluffer bang, Dean finds himself increasingly enamored with a gargoyle on the roof of his work. What he doesn't know is the gargoyle feels the same way.

This has some absolutely delicious smut. 10/10 magical creature porn. But also Dean is so cute and lonely and full of love and Cas us such a delightful little creature. A fantastic time was had by all (me). Canon is integrated in a really fun way in a few places and the humor is fantastic.

Just a complete romp.

A pun regarding the word "bull" by zation @zationao3 (Explicit, series 41k)

Smutty and fluffy and oh so horny, this fic is a fun AU with light angst, a lot of sexual tension, but ultimately it's just a fun ride with a happy ending.

Castiel doesn't have time for attachments, but his money does afford him all the comforts of wealth and a string of casual lovers. When he spots Dean on the back of a mechanical bull, he decides he's found his next conquest - and a very willing one at that.

But after that night, both men can think of nothing but a repeat performance. Unfortunately, they failed to exchange numbers. Even more unfortunately, Dean just happens to be the new contactor engaged by Cas' company and therefore off limits. 

There is some delicious smut in this one. The angst is counteracted with a sweet, soft pining and a profound bond type immediate connection that is a delight to read. 

You Better Not Stay by FriendofCarlotta @friendofcarlotta (Explicit, 17k) 

A fantastic horrorfest thriller, this one delivers jump scares and teen scream delight.

Dean and Cas have been best friends just short of forever and lovers for a year. But now that high school is behind them, Cas wants to leave to find freedom from his fucked up family. Dean can’t bring himself to join him. There’s Sam and the family business.

On the cusp of separation, Dean decides to take Cas on a little date to the abandoned skating rink they used to love when they were kids. Only they aren't alone, and if they're not careful, their last night together could be their last night on earth.

This one is great for the jumps and screams. But it's the soft way they love each other and the vulnerability that make this one memorable. Dean is heartbreakingly earnest trying to impress the man he loves. And Cas is sarcastic and sweet in a perfect balance.

And you're the sky by Desirae (Explicit, 28k)

Quite by accident I have two fics on here following the missed connection/one night stand reappears in your life trope, but they are very different. This one has a lot more roommates to lovers domesticity and some delightful Wings (the show) vibes.

Dean’s best friend, Gabriel, has been grounded due to medical issues. In order to save his small airline, he calls upon his estranged brother, Castiel for assistance. Being a good friend, Dean happily offers up a room in his house to Cas. Only when he shows up, he happens to be the one who got away - a hookup who was going by the name Jimmy.

This fic is soft and sweet. There's a lot of caretaker Dean and domestic vibes. It has the soft vibes of a fic where the two main characters are circling one another and you almost feel like it's inevitable that they will eventually find their way to each other. There is some family trauma, but the angst is largely countered by a lot of intentional healing. Throw in a fantastic cast of characters and this one is definitely worth the read.

Check out my other recs at @riversrecs

[trans-leek-cookie]

chewing on my hands no curly did not need to fucking murder jimmy to protect Anya. He wouldn't, not Just because of the fact murder even in self defense is deeply distressing and therefore. Y'know a last resort (and Jimmy is his friend. I am curious how long Jimmy's weird resentment has existed and if it was ever obvious before the events of the game but I'm getting off track) but also. Anya LITERALLY SAYS "I have to believe our worst moments don't make us monsters" like I'm not saying she's at all okay w what jimmy did but like!!!

She's VERY OBVIOUSLY conflicted and coping! She DOESNT want him dead (well maybe she does but I don't think it's something she thinks would actually be an easy fix. She doesn't want it Logically bc the situation is. Y'know it's a spaceship w 5 ppl and he's the fuckin co pilot)

CURLY COULDVE STILL DONE MORE AND HANDLED THE SITUATION BETTER!!! Personal opinion he didn't realize it was SA and/or didn't realize how traumatic it was for Anya until she brought up pregnancy and its a mix of genuine and willful ignorance (which Logically Makes Sense but is still not an excuse) but like. He says himself she doesn't get psych evaluations!

Murder is not an easy solution! Some survivors/victims want their abusers to die and that's its own discussion, but even beyond morality and ethics: thats 20% of the fucking staff on this stupid ship!

There's a longer post to be made about the fact capitalism is the ultimate enabler of these issues and dynamics, because the combination of isolation, small crew size, complete abscence of support, disregard for employee safety and physical danger all contributed to the fact this Could Happen and the fact this Is Such A Fucking Hard Situation even if you always prioritize the victim bc. Anya's safety is threatened either way- letting Jimmy do Whatever is obviously dangerous, but also HES THE CO PILOT! The events of the game are literally an example of why you NEED A CO PILOT (though in game he's fucking. Shit at his job which y'know) because you need redundancies to make sure you arent Completely reliant on one person (like. Imagine if Anya got seriously injured. There goes the medical staff. Maybe the others have basic training but Jesus Christ being the ONLY medical expert on staff. And even then iirc she's a nurse which not to downplay the work that goes into that but it is fundamentally one of MULTIPLE medical jobs and only having A Nurse is. FOR OVER A YEAR OF TRAVEL GOOD LORD THIS IS A NIGHTMARE) anyways. Longer post by someone smarter Abt how even though jimmy is an awful person a lot of the harm he does is only possible bc of a combination of The Situation (isolation + small group) and His Power (social power as a man over the One Woman and power as the second in command)

This post got away from me bc this game makes me think a lot but what I actually wanted to say is: Curly could have done more by being more present for Anya and being more Aware of Jimmy's actions (and intervening to make sure he isn't able to interact with Anya in isolated settings). Like I also think straight up murder isn't an ideal solution but like. There's a lot of fucking THINGS YOU CAN DO TO SUPPORT VICTIMS THAT ARENT MURDER

In the end I think it's a consequence of basing the approach on punishing the aggressor rather than supporting the victim, because like. It's less important to Kill Jimmy (no matter how much you want to) and way more important to KEEP ANYA SAFE

[jojotichakorn]

i started penning a post about how i always find it narratively unsatisfying when an arc ends with a conclusion the following arc breaks, regardless of how realistic the repetition of the same mistake might be, which is still true, but i actually want to talk about something else right now.

i feel like, at least at this stage, jack is in a position that is both generally unrealistic and untrue to the specific events of the series. 'jack and joker' has a clear focus on poverty and money and class issues, but it seems to treat jack in a very special way. he somehow manages to stand on the moral high ground above other characters. specifically, other poor characters. which is, first of all, a little ridiculous, since he was indeed a debt collector and, in fact, almost became the boss's son. and, second of all, is generally Not Great, because it does idolise the idea that if you "just try hard enough", you won't "allow" yourself to be backed into a corner and therefore won't have to do bad things.

now, don't get me wrong, i am not saying that our characters who have made mistakes are completely blameless. tattoo did shitty things (and hoy followed suit), safe did shitty things, hope frankly admitted to enjoying doing shitty things. however, if we zoom out a little, we will see that all these characters are in a situation that is inherently unfair to them. we have all of these poor people in immense amounts of debt and then we have this disgusting rich motherfucker whose entire wealth is literally based on making their lives as miserable and unfair as they are. and i think that, in this particular case, the series would have actually benefited from a dichotomy. don't get me wrong, i'm usually absolutely brimming with nuance and also asking "what lies outside of it?" but this shall be my exception. (though you could say that joke already brings some nuance to it - he is initially from a well-off family and he actively makes choices to the benefit of poor people, despite it resulting in him being ostracised from said family and its riches).

jack walks the line of being poor and managing not to do anything "too bad" like he is a fucking circus performer on a wire. and, don't get me wrong, he is genuinely a selfless character. he makes choices that a lot of other characters in the same circumstances wouldn't make. he remains in debt and continues working for the boss because he keeps trying to help people and pay off their debts first - that is admirable. however, he himself was already set up for more success than others. sure, being forced to become a debt collector isn't a walk in the park, but most other debtors didn't even have that choice. jack has to work for the boss in order to stay afloat - that is an undeniably hard task. the other people the boss collects debts from, however, have to come up with a lot of money out of thin air - that is not simply a hard task, that is an impossible one that is designed to trap them in the cycle of doing this impossible task forever. that being said, ultimately, jack is still poor. his own hamster wheel should be somewhere around the corner, that's always the case. this idea is where i wish they would have taken jack's arc.

from the moment when he refused to marry rose, there was no escape for him. finally, much like our other poor characters, he found himself stuck between a rock and a hard place. (and i think that it's very thematically appropriate for jack's particular "i can't do this anymore, i deserve to live a full life" sentiment to be connected to love, since he is, after all, a lead of a romance drama). he made the decision to say "no" and from that point on, he was completely and utterly fucked. because, realistically, that conversation that he had with the boss after refusing rose was insane. i don't know what he would have done to jack exactly, if that was a genuine conversation and there was no exchange of jack's freedom for the ring, but it would not have been anything good.

so i wish jack had to make the actual tough call there, instead of having joke save him all on his own (and later take the fall for it). and if it was, at least in some capacity, jack's decision to steal that ring, he would finally be placed in a situation where every other poor character already inevitably found themselves in. because the entire system is rigged against all of them and they are eventually always forced to do things that they should have never even had to consider in the first place. but they deserve better than living a life set up for them by evil rich people who literally live off of their suffering and they are allowed - no, at some point they simply have no choice but to - fight for a better life.

this, in my opinion, would have been a much more powerful message and - not to circle back to my personal preferences - would have also not left us with joke making the very same mistake that we decided we should never make again at the end of the previous arc.

[kedreeva]

as someone who is ace and entering college years, how has your dating life been as an ace? what other struggles have there been that you have advice for? i dont know any aces or similar around me older or otherwise. thank you for your time and i hope you have an easy day!

Okay this will get a little long so I'll put it behind a cut

Honestly I'm probably not the best person to ask, since I never really...struggled? Not specifically with asexuality or with anything related to it. I can tell you my experiences, though, and you can decide if there's anything worthwhile to take away from it!

I grew up in a house run by science and math. I knew the prefix a- meant without/not and I knew there was heterosexual and bisexual and homosexual, so when young and, importantly, before really ever interacting with other queer folk, I went Ah ha, these are (prefix)(sexual) and so therefore I am asexual (without sexuality), and that was that. That was literally all the thought I gave to it. People had crushes on other people, I didn't have crushes on people, end of story. If, for some reason, I developed a crush on someone, I would deal with it then.

Maybeeeee midway through HS, a very good friend of mine asked me about it, and I said well, some people like everyone the same, and I dislike everyone the same. And she said well, then it sounds like you like everyone the same, that amount is just zero, so that seems like bisexual? (she didn't know the term asexual was an actual sexuality term either at that point, just the biological term for reproduction and, well, I could reproduce theoretically so couldn't be that) And I said well, alright then, and called myself bisexual for the next 6 or 7 years. THEN I found out asexuality is a sexuality not just a mode of reproduction and I said Ah Ha, I was Correct, and that was that again.

So I guess if I was offering advice it would be... you know you. Don't let someone else tell you about you if you think they're wrong. Make up a word if there isn't one. Use a new word if you find one that already exists and fits.

Also, that it's fine to not worry about it. Literally it's fine to just never think about it if you have better things to do. I think a lot of people get really wrapped up in finding the right label and/or "what happens if-" when like... you're not a canned good. You don't need a label. Worry about what-ifs when they come up, don't borrow anxiety if you can help it.

I dated a few people in HS, like... three people I think, and one Almost. One predatory mistake I thankfully recognized (HEY because I had older folks online I could talk to about it!) and got out of quickly, and one hot mess relationship that was a LOT of fun- my boyfriend, Sark, and then his ex-girlfriend, and then I stepped out so they could get back together, and then they said wait no, and invited me back in, and that went on for most of the end of HS, and nearly into college, when I stepped out again (and peacefully, I am still friends with both of them and I married Sark in the end). There was one guy whom I was always, perpetually, extremely fond of, and we hung out a lot, kissed once, and I think we would have had a lot of fun dating, but ultimately it was a near miss that became a fond memory, because we were never in the right place together. Sometimes life does that, and that's okay, too.

In college, I simply didn't date anyone. I had better things to do. I met my best friend, @idkfandomwhatever, online that year (and still talk to her almost daily, sometimes for hours, despite that we are on opposite sides of the world!!), and in person @mishapeep who was the best roomie I ever had (hi!!!!! i love you!!!). I had great friends, I went on a TON of adventures, worked a cool job where I had awesome coworkers, and just all around had a blast learning stuff and napping in sunbeams or on couches at the food court. A couple of guys made passes, and I turned them down because I just wasn't into it, and we remained friends. There was one coworker at my dispatch job that I got along with like a house on fire, and everyone ELSE thought we should be dating, but neither of us ever brought it up- I can't say why he didn't for sure, but I know I never brought it up because I was 85% sure he didn't swing for the right team to date me, which I ALSO never brought up until he found me on facebook years later to tell me about his husband running for local election somewhere. so. again, don't let anyone else tell you what to do lol there was ALSO another guy that I had NO interest in that spent a lot of time around me, but we mostly sat in my bunk watching Queer as Folk, which I KNOW was his first exposure to queer material. I never talked about queer stuff with him otherwise, but I heard from a mutual friend of ours that he's also happily married to his husband. Sometimes just being yourself, openly and without shame about it, does more than you think, even if it's not doing anything directly for you (but it is, it's good for you too).

SINCE college ended, I dated one guy I met through an online game and that was great in person briefly, but ultimately didn't work out because he couldn't be a nice person, another guy I met through the same online game and that didn't work out at ALL in person, and then I started hanging out with Sark and co again. I was on the phone with him driving somewhere, and I said something to the effect of someday you're gonna find a gf and she's not gonna want you to keep going on adventures with your ex, and we won't be able to talk anymore and I had a real recordscratch moment where I realized absolutely NOT on MY watch, I wanted that boy in my life forever actually, and we've been married now for... this is year 8.

I may have landed in a soft place, but I didn't seek it out. I just lived my life and didn't worry about my sexuality or about who I was or wasn't gonna date. When I DID date, I was up front about what I wanted from any of those relationships and part of the problem with the relationships that didn't work out was sometimes that I did not KNOW what I wanted, yet. But, it was IMPORTANT I think, that I gave the chances I did, because I did learn about myself and what I wanted. That's probably the hardest fucking thing to learn, that relationships sometimes happen not because they're likely to be permanent, but because it may be fun or be a way to learn what you do or don't want. Maybe alongside of that, the lesson that it's okay to go "hm, actually this is Not For Me" and exit peacefully whenever possible. But it's okay to give temporary things a shot and see how it goes, even knowing up front it may be temporary (honestly maybe that even takes some of the stress of it off? if you don't have to worry about it being forever, and you don't have to worry about "what if I never experience other things," and you don't worry so much about messing it up so it feels easier to take chances saying and doing stuff you might otherwise consider too risky to ask for etc).

I'm aware I'm lucky that things went pretty smoothly for my entire life so far, insofar as dating or sexuality is concerned. Part of that was definitely because even the worst of the people I dated weren't really all that bad of people. A lot of it was that I just didn't date if I didn't want to. I didn't care about sex, so I didn't have sex for the first time until a few years after college, and only one guy ever pushed the issue at all (the guy in HS I immediately dropped all contact with).

The thing is... I dated or nearly dated like ten people, flirted with countless others (because it's FUN), and the only one I still have regular contact with (not just occasional friendly hellos) is the one I kept at the end.

But the friends I made in college? I kept a lot of those. I still talk to several of my college friends on a regular basis. I have made other friends since, some of whom I talk to every day, some of whom have become irregular contacts I am still fond of. But those bonds are important and the ones you make with your friends from here out do have the potential to span at least huge chunks of your life, if not the entirety of it. If you only take away one thing from this little novel...take that knowledge.

also this has nothing to do with asexuality but for pete's sake find SOME kind of hobby club to be a part of, or make one if there isn't one, follow your stupidest instincts for adventure on occasion (like playing freeze tag frisbee in a lightning storm on the PAC lawn at 11pm until the campus cops show up to make you go home), and take at least one "fuck it this sounds fun" class. Mine was archery at 7am, the only early-morning class I ever took. Worth it, we were all TERRIBLE but god it was awesome.

Good luck out there!

[tsunesama]

a destitute soldier.... a soldier who greatly values discipline but lacks the means to provide for oneself......... bartholomew came from a background of normal people and became a pirate to survive......... GOD that's such a good way to describe him. to keep his crew together he has to be the captain. to keep everyone together he has to be the one to enforce the rules and keep them alive and happy. he's literally known by his pirate code. he's bound by his discipline and efficiency. he wasn't as free as the other pirates.

he is perceptive to other's emotions and looks at situations with a bird's-eye view, and he doesn't really try to indulge himself even when he sees the thing he wants. i think he's very similar to guda in that regard.

and i do genuinely think he's prioritizing others more than himself! he saw the wigs but still then ultimately decided that everyone should get a gift for each other! that's just how he is! even though he talks a lot about hidden bangs he's still a perceptive and cautious guy!

i think that's part of where the "feigning cheerfulness" came from. he hasn't really shown any sign of weakness and seems to be upbeat from most of the screentime he has up until now. he's just fine being the "mekakure guy" to everyone-- he's 'performing' to everyone so everyone would see him as a clown, therefore keeping morale high. that's not to say that he actually doesn't like hidden bangs, i think he's just playing it up. and it's here that we see bart laments his helplessness when they were surrounded by enemies at every turn in oc3.

(it's also significant that lip kept calling him weak combat wise. which is. rude. but not untrue)

a captain's job is to keep everyone together, to show a little bit of weakness is to bring morale down, and ultimately doom everyone. even then, when the situation is desperate, he still tries his best to protect guda and mash. (there was one moment of him pointing a gun at eresh asking if she's friend or foe. my point aside him occasionally showing his pirate side is hot)

of course there's also the possibility that he's trying to relate to both guda and mash so they would ease up a bit more, but with lip calling him weak, i don't think that's really it. i think he genuinely believes he's weak, he just doesn't say it out loud most of the time.

there's also his chaotic evil alignment, which if you really think about the nasuverse's version of it, he thinks of himself as evil; though his outward behaviour is different from his fellow pirates like blackbeard. his bond 3 lines hints to this.

this combined with that scene in atlantis tells me that though he believes he is evil- though he is a pirate who plunders and takes, and he's cognizant of his actions- he still portrays himself as a gentleman, and maybe, he wanted to be a deliverer of hope. i'd like to think that it's his wish.

anyway this isn't much as an analysis post but i am just very normal about the amount of content FGO has fed me for the past 2-3 weeks

[klucis]

So…season 4B, eh?

I’m the kind of person that doesn’t like to pile on something without suggesting a better alternative. Therefore, after reading everyone’s takes on what was done wrong and how they would have done it differently, I’ve finally decided to throw my own 2c in, too.

Before I get to ‘my version’, I must comment on some of the most glaring moments of 4B in which the bag was monumentally fumbled with JJ and Jiara.

1. All of the near death experiences of JJ falling into water. First, the villain boat night trip. Second, being left to die by Groff at the sea. HOW IS IT POSSIBLE that Kiara, JJ’s girlfriend, has 0 reaction??? Especially because we have the exact same scenarios to compare it to from previous seasons. Aka, the infamous ‘sup?’ scene from season 2 or the bike crash scene from season 3. Girlie was so worried. Now we don’t even get a hug??? It is so weird, that it pulled me out of the story. Those are not two people in love, or even two people who are friends. That’s the reaction one would have about a coworker at best.

2. JJ and Sarah almost dying at sea. John B runs to Sarah the millisecond he sees them. Kiara doesn’t even stand up??? What?! That was so bizarre I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I don’t know how to possibly read it as anything other than “I don’t care”.

3. Another peak stupidity moment - why would JJ turn his back to Groff who was just threatening Kiara with a knife? He’s always had above average survival instinct and reflexes, what was that? How about you get away from the lunatic who’s already tried to kill you once before the emotional reunion? Beyond stupid. Just out of character and bad, no excuse there.

4. JJ abandoning all of his spidey senses when road tripping with Groff and acting so incredibly out of character that it was sad to watch. Where all the trust issues go? It’s BAD writing.

5. JJ having to open his mother’s casket… literally why? What was the point. I am literally speechless. Haven’t seen this much unnecessary suffering bestowed upon a character since reading A Little Life.

Now here’s how I would have done it. The three main variables I’m working with are i) Rudy is leaving; ii) Rudy and Madison have some sort of an issue and need to touch as little as possible; iii) Netflix demands a fifth season.

1. As much as I loved the slow burn of Jiara in the first 2 seasons and even the 3rd, given the actor drama, clearly it’s impossible to have those two as a couple. So during the 2 years time jump have them give the relationship a try and ultimately decide that it can’t work. Continue on the season 3 line of JJ being freaked out about letting Kie that close and ultimately she’s afraid to lose him as a friend and mess up the group dynamic too, so they call it quits. When we meet them after the time jump they are no longer together, but there are lingering feelings communicated through stares + the awkwardness between the actors (which we all felt) would work in favour of this plotline if interpreted as ‘it’s awkward to touch you / be near you, because we have crossed that line and maybe a part of me still wants that’. It would also work perfectly well with JJs other plotlines and the sense “that everything I touch turns to shit”. No romantic touching really has to be involved at all. Drama averted.

2. Turn up the volume of the found family trope. My jaw dropped when we got that 6second scene from the Pogelandia house with the Pogues cooking and JJ eating pasta off the wall. We needed more of that! Why didn’t we get more of that?! Maybe have that be the first year in the house when everyone was coupled up and it was “perfect”, then followed by Jiara break up and things getting rocky financially. This strengthens the idea that “good things don’t last” for JJ.

3. I think I would keep Luke as JJ’s real father but have him think that the mother chose Groff and was going to raise the baby as theirs. Have Luke really love the mother but also be incredibly resentful that she ‘didn’t chose him’, which he projected on JJ, who also looks like his mother. Then have JJ and the audience learn through Groff that actually the mother was about to leave Groff for Luke. When JJ learns of this he might go somewhere and notice a happy family of three and think of an alternate universe where that could have been his family. This could be nicely integrated with Sarah pregnancy storyline too. All this gives JJ the feeling that everything about his life was already decided when he was a baby and there is no point to his actions anymore.

4. Throughout the season, put emphasis on JJ being the last surviving heir and make it clear that while he is alive Groff will want to kill him so that he inherits all. Thus, JJ has to disappear for a while. Let’s also not forget the murder charges against him and everything. It is clear that JJ has to disappear to protect himself and his friends and to have a chance at having a full happy life in the future. In a way, JJ still sacrifices everything - can’t stay in his town, in his house with his friends/family, can’t figure out whether there is anything left between him and Kiara, etc. But he is alive. Get the tearful goodbyes and everything.

5. Then season 5 is still getting back at Groff and the Pogues making sure that JJ has a chance to come back. JJ is completely off the grid. Then at the very end, possibly after another time jump, have the Pogues be summoned by the new mysterious owner of Goat Island and learn that in fact part of it is being turned into a nature reserve. Surprise, surprise, once the Pogues get there, it turns out that JJ is the new owner and voila we get a happy ending after all the crap. Maybe throw in one more ‘Stupid things have good outcomes all the time’. Plus, have one last Jiara hug + a “Welcome home” + a loaded look implying that the year/s apart have shown them that they do belong together. Film it before Rudy leaves or negotiate him coming back for that one final episode. If thats not possible at all, then pull out the alleged body doubles and make do.

That’s my take on the situation. JJ deserved better, the story deserved better, we deserved better. This turn of events was tragic.

[manynarrators]

When I say this song has fundamentally changed how I hc the Devils Minions 70s/80s breakup to have gone down! I’ve been listening to it in repeat for days trying to figure out all my thoughts about it.

So I know as a fandom, the general thought is that Armand is the one to call it quits. Which, you know, makes sense as the person with the memory erasing powers. But if I may play devils advocate (yes, pun intended) what if it was Daniel to break up with him?

Hear me out, because I have logic, that also helps double as why I think the show making him a drug addict and not just an alcoholic is an absolutely inspired choice. It’s not even just the fun irony that Armand had the funky golden eyes. (Or the “then you wake up next to a monster” line being incredibly literal in his case!)

My first thing, is that Armand, historically, is never the primary driver resulting in major changes in his life. See: slavers, Marius, Lestat, Louis, Daniel in Dubai— so it makes sense it was Daniel back then too. If Armand had the prerequisite character development to make those choices on his own, it wouldn’t be Daniel in Dubai. Therefore, it’s logical to assume the same was true then.

But why, you might ask, would Daniel break up with Armand? Two interrelated reasons. Daniel is an addict, either with drugs or for vampire blood. It’s also really hard to get clean if you don’t change your circumstances in any way. The people are the same, the habits, the spaces… super easy to fall back into it.

Armand is both the toxic situation encouraging use, and also the drug itself. It’s enabling him, even if he does also try and take care of him. But how does he help? By giving him more blood because of its healing affects which just keeps the whole process alive. It feels good to be on it, and bad to be off, even if it is, ultimately harmful.

The breakup as Daniel attempting to get clean and turn his life around— and to do that, he can’t have Armand there.

If Daniel were the one to break up with him, it could also help explain why Armand’s emotions about him during the interview are both… characterized by the fond looks and attempts to soften some of the things Louis does (eg. the Parkinson’s moment) but also some more upset moments. This is someone who left him.

Armand, about Louis says he asked for his memories to be removed, what if it’s the same case here? Daniel asks for it, because he thinks it will be easier to get and stay clean if he can’t remember the addiction in the first place (it doesn’t work as well as he might hope).

Cut to Daniel being turned as falling off the wagon. Not only has he relapsed, but he, in some way, metaphorically overdoses. Vampirism does kill the person it’s given to, fifty years clean and he dies from it in the end.

Also, listen to the song and tell me it doesn’t work! Like there’s so many lines that are perfect, and if anyone wants, I would totally make another post just going through the song with a fine tooth comb as seen through a “Devils Minion breakup as getting clean” analytical lens. (I would be lying if I said I wasn’t working on a DM breakup playlist).

I am certain there’s more thoughts I am forgetting here, but tldr: Devils Minion as getting clean, and Daniel asks for Armand to erase his memories.

[ihavethedreamies]

From Afar | What the Heart Wants (1)

Qian Kun & Nakamoto Yuta (NCT)

Rating: Suggestive (18+) MDNI

Nothing explicitly is said or done, but sexual interactions are implied.

The beginning of this story has the reader underaged, but nothing happens or is implied to happen before she turns 18.

Word Count: ~14.2k

Pairing(s): Kun x AFAB!Reader x Yuta, the primary pairing is Kun x Reader, but it's kinda both for the first part.

Genre: Reader-Insert, Altered History AU!, Royalty AU!, Plot! (wow), Fluff? (not for sure that's what to call this), not quite smut (yet), Angst (but angry)

!!There are mature themes discussed…if that much isn't clear you should probably leave now!! MDNI!

Warnings: She/Her pronouns used, Arranged Marriage (ish), Harems/Multiple Wives (more fiancées…), Bullying (see Caution), Some Swearing, Borderline Misogyny/Sexism (you'll see, not from the boys, just like…society), Favoritism, Love Triangle, Jealousy, Pining, One-Sided Crush/Infatuation (or is it?)

Caution: This story is a bit darker than my normal stuff. There isn't bullying throughout, just one intense scene. It's not in a school setting, but I do want to warn anyone reading this that it could be triggering. I'll be real and admit that there is definitely toxicity here, and I know that's what it is, I try to be realistic with my stuff. There is also a part where the reader has a severe allergic reaction, so if that is something that is hard for you to read, be aware. Please let me know if you think I need to add in any more specific warnings or cautions.

Author's Note: This is based off of a dream I had while I took a nap a bit back. I changed some details because what happened in the dream was a little too unrealistic. But, most of it is pretty much the same. I have a lot of Kun dreams, but most of them I can't write a story with because there are weird cross-overs with my real life and often the video game Mass Effect (lol), so…

P.S. Kun is my Ultimate Bias and so…I held back for so long of going down the rabbit hole because I knew I wouldn't be able to crawl out once I did. I am working on another much longer series so that's why I don't have much posted for him yet since I want to get it mostly done before I post any of it.

P.S.S. The reader has a bad allergy to coconut, which is one I have. So, it might seem a bit extreme with her reaction to it, but I know from personal experience how bad I can be with it. I haven't had the same thing happen though.

I split this into two different parts because I hate reading a long story, and then the app or page somehow gets closed, and then you have to scroll to find your spot… The second part is just smut, literally just the smut part, but it was so long I needed to separate the two parts.

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

I am cross-posting this on Archive and Wattpad. Please reblog! If you know anyone that would like this or future fics but they aren't on here my name and icon are exactly the same on the other sites. Happy reading!

Your life seemed to end before it really began. Things like harems for royalty and royalty itself should be in history books and old stories, not modern times. Yet here you were. Historians often talk about how much different the eastern world might look had Japan been successful in taking Korea nearly 100 years prior. Would they have ruled East Asia rather than the Korean Monarchy? Would China be its own country still? Siam? All you knew is that if World War II had gone much differently, you wouldn't be in the situation you were.

In order to keep the commoners and everyday folks of each country of the Korean Empire in line, the Emperor would marry a noblewoman from each land, therefore forming his Harem. When he was a prince, he had his little group of girls that followed him around and did everything with him, almost like some kind of harem anime or even American dating show. One would be picked to be his 'main wife' and the rest were concubines. That's what you were. Well, almost. You were 'in training' to be a possible concubine or wife. The king had five wives, and a son with each woman. The eldest was Taeyong, from the king's first Korean wife; then Prince Yuta, whose mother was Japanese; third born was Prince Kun, from a Chinese mother; second youngest was Prince Ten with a Siamese mother. His birthname was not used very often since most people didn't know how to pronounce it, and finally the youngest Prince was Prince Doyoung. His mother was Korean as well and since he was the youngest, he had the least responsibilities. Not necessarily in a bad way, but he was quite lazy and didn't go out very often. Each prince had a symbol that then was used to name his girls. Taeyong's was a rose and so his girls were The Petals. Yuta's was the Cherry Tree, so his girls were The Sakura. Kun's was a Bear, and his girls were The Ursas. Ten's symbol was a cat and his girls, The Tabbies. Finally, Doyoung's symbol was a rabbit, so his girls were The Bunnies. The name he chose somewhat showed how little he cared for formality. It was too much effort, and he was actually considered the best prince to follow. None of the princes were bad, though, it was simply that Doyoung was the least strict, and there were less rules overall. Taeyong's group was the most prestigious since he was the Crown Prince, and so it was hard to stay in The Petals.

Many different things could make a girl leave or get kicked out. It was pretty easy to get kicked out actually, but most of the time it was by the other girls. Jealousy and competition were rampant, but if sabotage or cheating was ever even just suspected, you were out. Each prince got their initial set at the age of eighteen, and the girls would be at the most two years younger, never older. So, when Prince Yuta hit the proper age, they sent out the search committee. Your father had told you as a little girl that he would never, no matter how much money was offered, let you go. Unfortunately, he didn't get to make the decision because he passed two years prior. Your mother couldn't manage the family estate and business well either, so she remarried, and of course your stepfather was more than willing to hand you over. You never learned how much he was paid, but you knew, to him, it was more than you were worth.

There were always five girls, two from Korea and one from China, Japan, and Siam as well. When you were escorted to the royal palace, you looked up at the tall arch allowing entry onto the grounds. Due to historical preservation laws, no one actively lived in the palace, but there was a modern campus built for the royal family. The guards let the fancy black car you were being escorted in through and it continued down the road past the elegantly preserved palace. Finally, after nearly five minutes of driving, the vehicle stopped in front of what appeared to be an extremely fancy hotel. You were told the main estate was further into the campus and was where the King and Queen lived with the Concubines. Where you were to live was where the princes and all of their entourages lived. Shakily, you got out of the car when it came to a stop, the heels of your black Mary Jane's clicking on the stone pavement. Your suitcases were removed from the trunk, and they went off to your room as you were led down the opposite hallway. Looking around at your surroundings, the building felt less like a royal residence and more of a luxury apartment building, there were even a few restaurants. Finally, after a long walk in very uncomfortable shoes, you were told to enter a large ballroom and you stood in line with what seemed to be twenty other girls. That was a surprise, you thought for sure you had already been chosen. While you wanted to pray you wouldn't be chosen, you also feared being sent back to your stepfather. Your soft yellow and white dress was probably just as expensive as the other girls’ but seemed much plainer. Standing straight, trying to remember your etiquette training, the line of girls all did the same, stiffening when a door on the other side of the ball room entered. At least, you thought it was a ballroom. There was a stage on the opposite wall and that was it. No tables or chairs, nothing. You felt the girls to your left and right turn their heads to try and see who entered, but you just stared ahead. The three people that entered stopped in the middle of the room, a bit to your left since you were toward the end of the line. The other girls were whispering, and curiosity took over and your eyes flicked to look at them. It was a servant, most likely since he was in a butler's outfit, a man in a business suit, and who you assumed to be the prince. He was beautiful, and that was an objective fact. His dark brown hair was longer, hitting his shoulders and he had it tied back into a half-ponytail. He was not dressed like a prince really; he had on a black T-shirt or tank top with a soft-looking grey sweater over it. He was in jeans and sneakers, and you looked down at your dress, then at the others. You were sixteen, but you felt like a little girl then, with your high-collared, long-sleeved white button-up with a yellow sundress over top. Though, it seemed he preferred casual, and you were the closest to that. His stance was casual as well, arms behind his back, leaning his weight on one leg as he lightly swayed, looking over the line of girls. The servant cleared his throat, and it was like some kind of primal instinct took over, and you placed your hands together over your stomach, and bowed low. No one else did. Panic set in when you realized this, hearing the other girls whispering. Now too nervous to stand back up, you pressed your lips together, but stayed bowed.

"It seems she was the only one raised correctly." A new voice, a woman's, cut in and you heard another person walk in. The woman stopped in front of you, and you only saw the bottom of her dress and shoes, she was dressed in the traditional dark green and blue hanbok.

"You may look up, dear." She prompted and you straightened, looking up slightly at the much older woman. Her hair was graying at the roots, but she was still quite beautiful. Her hair was tied back in a bun with a simple wooden pin and you swallowed under her sharp gaze.

"Prince Yuta, please come here." Her tone changed, and she bowed, stepping to the side and you froze as he left his original position and strode over to you. He stopped before you and you dropped your gaze. Don't look at his face. That was clearly something no one else learned and you were a bit worried about that, though, his handmaiden seemed pleased with you. Didn't mean he would be.

"How old are you?" His voice was soft, deeper than you thought it would be.

"Sixteen, your highness." Your hands still rested over each other, flat against your stomach and you tried not to flinch when his finger went to your chin. He lifted your head, but your eyes stayed down, no matter how badly you wanted to look at his face better.

"Look at me." He prompted and you obeyed. He was even more attractive up close, more handsome than you thought, still pretty. He tipped his head and a similarly pretty smile spread on his face.

"Her."

After that, you were quickly whisked away.

"What will happen with the other girls?" You asked the maid that was taking your measurements after you reached some sort of dressing room.

"He will pick the other nine and you will begin training." The same older woman from before entered then and you nodded jerkily, trying to process everything.

"Training?"

"It seems you have begun on etiquette already, unlike the other girls. That will help. Ten girls will start and after your four years the final five will graduate up. You will all learn everything you need to, to be a good woman of the royal family and possibly a future princess."

"I see." The same maid began holding up different swatches of fabric next to your face, flipping through different colors. Seemingly making a decision, the maid nodded to the head handmaiden, and you stepped off the small pedestal you had been set on.

"Let us go child, I will escort you to the dormitory."

 ~*~*~

Over the next four years, as you were told, you trained. Ten girls all lived in a four-bedroom apartment, three in two, and two in two. It was miserable. You really didn't mind the training and tutoring itself, it was the clique-like mentality the girls had even within the dorm. Let alone in the other training groups. You felt like an outlier the whole time but staying quiet and laying low helped. You yourself were not bullied, but you weren't friends with the other girls either. Not in any of the groups. Prince Taeyong's girls were a few months ahead of your group and the other three were not even a year younger. The eldest prince was only about four months older than Yuta, and he was only a month, maybe two, older than Kun. The youngest were each a month after. It seemed the King had gotten to work quickly…

For the first year you almost never saw any of the princes, not even Yuta. It seemed the first year was really used to weed out girls, and that was when some of the original twenty made a return. If one of the ten got kicked out or left, they replaced her. That was not what you expected at all, but it seemed you were relatively safe. You only got one demerit over the first year, and it was minor. The rules were strict and after your first dink you never messed up again. What did you mess up? You forgot to put in your earrings before the morning check.

After the second year, you would have more interactions with Prince Yuta, and sometimes the others. That was when you first met the third-born Prince. Kun. Your eyes widened when you saw him, it was like some kind of rose-colored filter hung around him. He was…perfect. You weren't sure exactly what drew you to him so heavily, but it was nearly backbreaking, the weight of your crush. It didn't help that your infatuation was with the completely wrong prince. Most of the girls were good at staying loyal to their boy, and if they weren't, that was grounds for expulsion. It was your first true hinderance and possible snare. The only one, really. Luckily, he wasn't around too often in the second year. For no reason, really, you hated the girls in his group. They were so incredibly fortunate in your eyes and didn't realize how much so. Was Yuta bad? Not in any way, shape or form. He was extremely sweet and kind, generous…but he wasn't Kun. To you, that was his greatest sin. Your obsession was a bit worrying, honestly. Though the girls were given a therapist they could talk with, she was there for things like homesickness and anxiety. Not near yandere-levels of love for a Prince not their own. Okay…it wasn't that bad, but you feared that if your mind ever got too weak, if you broke, it would be that bad. When third year rolled around… It got so much worse. The princes did a lot of things together and if a girl made it to year three, then she got to as well. On the new year of year three, the girls remaining were the final ones. One could leave, but she wouldn't be replaced. So, what most often happened, is the gaggle of fifty girls would each take turns with which five would go on an outing with their prince. What killed you about those, was when you were picked, and Kun would be there. It was hard to keep your wistful stares off of him and you prayed he would stick near Yuta for as long as possible, so you could look at him all the more. He was what most considered to be the handsome one among the half-brothers. Taeyong was what the girls defined as cute-hot. Could be either. Yuta was handsome-pretty, Ten was just pretty and Doyoung was just cute. Kun was handsome to the rest, but to you he was also the cutest, prettiest, and hottest. He was by no means buff, but he was able to build the most muscle tone out of all of them and you couldn't help but stare when his pants were just the right amount of tight around his thighs. When you finally got close enough to really look at him the first time, you cataloged every little feature you could. Especially the beauty mark under his right eyebrow.

~*~*~

You were truly a goner when you attended a causal tennis game the princes were engaging in. Doyoung sat off the side with his girls, and they were literally playing some kind of board or card game instead. You sat with the four other Sakuras on a bench, not even watching the tennis ball fly between Yuta and Taeyong's rackets. You were staring off into the distance, messing with a stray string at the top of your knee-high socks. If the head handmaid saw it… Wrapping your finger around it tight, you yanked to try and pull it away, the elastic tightening with each tug. You were so preoccupied with your sock that you didn't even hear the warning call, but something thunked against the back of your head. You yelped, falling forward off the bench, managing to catch yourself with your hands, but you scraped your knees up badly on the court-floor.

"Hiyomi!" Yuta immediately called and was at your side. You weren't even sure if you would have known he was calling you if he had said your real name. You hadn't heard it in such a long time.

"Good job!" Ten shouted sarcastically and you heard another come to your side.

"Hey, you okay?" Yuta helped you sit up a bit, letting your rest your forehead on his shoulder as he looked at the back of your head.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." Your body froze when the other person's voice seemed to speak right in your ear and another hand rested on your upper back.

"Does it hurt there?" You hadn't even realized Yuta had pressed on your neck at the base of your head. He must have taken your sudden rigidity as a pain response. Carefully, slightly, you turned your head so you could glance out of the side of your eye, through your hair, at a red shirt. Only one of the princes was in a red shirt that day. You were sure your face turned about that same shade when you realized the other boy so close to you was Kun, and that the hand on your back was his.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta prompted again and you flinched back to reality.

"Uh, no." Your own hand came up to run over your head, wincing as you felt the small bump forming under your hair. The hand left your back and you felt Yuta move your hair so he could see where you pressed. You gasped when Kun's hand came back, his fingers gently running over the bump.

"She should probably go to the infirmary." The younger prince decided, and Yuta hummed in agreement.

"I'm so sorry, Hiyomi." He apologized again, and even though it was your alias, hearing him speak your name twisted your insides around.

"I-It's okay." You were too scared to lift your head as Yuta helped you stand, knowing that if you met Kun's gaze then you would fall back to your knees.

"Come on, sweetheart." Yuta wrapped an arm around you so he could lead you toward the building and you felt the glares of your team boring through you. It was evident even before then that Yuta favored you, and it made the girls mad. You never made more of an effort to woo him like they did, you just lived your life naturally, and that seemed to be what appealed to him.

"I guess the nurse isn't here right now." Yuta had helped you sit on the edge of one of the two cot-like beds and then he kneeled in front of you.

"Do you mind if help with your knees?" He had noticed the scrapes, and you shook your head with a hum, and he left to get the first aid kit. It was then you really felt the pain in your head, but you hadn't even seen stars, so you doubted you had a concussion. The tennis ball hadn't been going that hard, it had bounced on the court before it hit you, slowing it down pretty good. When the prince came back, he cleaned the scrapes and you winced at the sting. He was so gentle and put ointment on as well before the band-aids. As his thumb smoothed over the bandage, he opened his mouth to say something, but the nurse decided to return right then. He went back out to the tennis court as she looked you over and she suggested you rest for a bit, there was no concussion evident, but you did still get hit in the head.

You had managed to drift half-way to sleep, and you somewhat registered hearing the nurse step out, and someone not too long after coming in. It was a different person for sure, they weren't in heels, and you wondered if it was the head handmaid. Flittering your eyes open when you felt them move to your bedside, you jerked in shock.

"Sorry, did I wake you up?" You tried not to panic, eyes falling quickly to the white logo on his red shirt. You were allowed at that point to look at Yuta's face, but you weren't sure about the other princes. Plus, if you did, you might just explode.

"N-No." You shook your head against the pillow and shuffled under the light blanket. Fuck. You tried not to wince when he kneeled down so he could meet your gaze. He smiled. You were done for.

"Sorry, I really didn't mean to let the ball hit you. I tried to go after it, but I'm not very fast." Kun huffed bashfully and you just gaped. Speak! Say something, stupid!

"I-It's okay."

"Can you tell Yuta you're not mad at me? He looked like he wanted to kill me." You knew the look. Yuta was definitely the scariest of the brothers.

"Y-yes." He sighed in relief at that and stood back up.

"I should probably go before you get in trouble for me being in here." He huffed in annoyance and then waved as he left the little infirmary. You were truly and royally, ironically, screwed.

~*~*~

Of course, it got worse through the third and into the fourth year. All the teams had been narrowed down to the final five, the girls that were weeded out were essentially turned into the reserve team. You didn't know what that meant until after you graduated. And you did. You were in the final five for The Sakuras, the little junior harem of Prince Yuta. You were also the forerunner, the informal leader despite being the youngest, but you were the least popular. Out of all twenty-five girls, they all either hated you or didn't care to acknowledge your presence. To them you put in very little effort to get to your rank, well, how you ranked to Yuta. In actuality, you put in the most effort, and had no demerits and never had to make up in any of your training. All of the other maknaes, the youngest, were the favorites of the other girls. Not you. You didn't fit the cutesy, sweet image you were supposed to it seemed. The graduation wasn't going to be until April. Because the princes were so close in age, they decided to just do everyone at the same time, and that just made the internal competition even worse. Though, your favor with the head handmaiden granted you a privilege. Early information. You knew things before anyone else, you were warned. That's how you saw it anyway. It seemed that there would be another year of training after graduation. Everyone was of age by then, which meant the sexual teachings started. It had to wait till you were finally assigned to your prince, since he would head your 'studies'. You were to learn what he liked, how he liked it and so on. It was a rumor by that point, and many girls were unbothered by this. It made sense and they were okay with it since they would be future wives anyway, and some were even looking forward to it. You didn't hate Yuta, not anything close. You did like him, but… You decided then that you had to give up on the younger Prince. You were Yuta's, and that was final. You also learned that the girls that fell through the cracks more or less joined a brothel, modern day gisaeng for the princes and their friends. Not only did the girls graduate in April, so did the princes. And that meant everything changed. You wouldn't say that they turned into scoundrels, but finally they were more-or-less unrestrained, so they let loose. Parties. Drinking. Sex. Lots of it. You never asked about the other princes, not wanting to learn that your beloved prince had fallen into debauchery as well. Their personalities hadn't changed, they weren't abusive or even rude, but they turned into animals. You heard that Ten and his friends had full orgies with his girls and the extras. You knew when Johnny showed up that something utterly filthy was about to go down.

Taeyong seemed to be more restrained, but he was somewhat selfish. He didn't want to share his Petals, but that didn't mean that it wasn't just as naughty what happened in his quarters. Doyoung preferred more low-key engagements, but just because there was only one girl in his bed didn't mean they weren't going at it for hours on end. The only first-hand knowledge you had was with Yuta. Obviously. Honestly, you seemed to be corrupted more and quicker than the other girls. It was one of the few times you felt like you could be yourself, not constantly worried about doing and saying the right things. It was a good outlet as well for all the emotions you pushed down and hid. You were open to most things, mostly because Yuta was by no means selfish. You preferred the more carnal and kinky acts honestly; you weren’t sure you could ‘make love’ to him. The only thing that first gave you pause was when he asked if you would be okay with two of his friends joining. No other girls, just the three guys and you. It was a bit scary at first, and you wondered if your future husband had some sort of fetish, but his reasoning shocked you.

"You let me do whatever I want, Hiyomi. I want to spoil you." He spoke between kisses along your neck, your shoulder exposed from where his shirt had fallen over it. Yuta wasn't that big for a man, but he was bigger than you, his clothes baggy on your body. If you asked him, he probably would be okay with just one wife. And it would be you. You wished it wasn't though. Even with the comparatively few interactions you had over the years with Kun, you had hopelessly fallen for him, and you were content to pine after him in the distance for the rest of your life. That was better than nothing at all.

"W-which friends?" You shivered as his fingers ran over your back under the garment you had on, one finger slipping under the waist band of your lacey panties.

"Jungwoo. Mark?" His arms wrapped around you and pulled you down further into his lap, his hard cock straining against his pants. It seemed the thought alone turned him on. Those two? That was fine. Most of the princes' friends were shared, but Yuta was the closest with the two he offered. It made sense. It was odd at first to think about it, but if you weren’t sleeping with Yuta out of love, then it wouldn’t be too much different with them. And, based off what you knew the other girls did, it was actually relatively mild.

"You don't have to, sweetheart." Yuta nuzzled under your ear, and you sighed.

"That’s fine." It became a somewhat regular occurrence. And, as far as you knew, the other girls were not in a similar arrangement. But they knew, or at least, knew parts. This made them hate you more, they saw it as favor. It was one thing for a prince to indulge himself in three women, it was another for one woman to get ravished by a prince and his two friends. That was the ultimate sign of favor, you were good enough to not just get solo access to Yuta whenever but get the same treatment from his two just-as-attractive friends. The other girls knew, but they didn’t realize it was a common thing, just once in a blue moon. You didn't talk about it, because you knew how the others would be with it, and it honestly made you want Kun more. Somehow. Even with three men only wanting to please you, you wanted more… Not more, just someone else. 

~*~*~

You had a close call though, you almost got found out. There was some big event that the princes were having, some formal party. It wasn't a drunken orgy or anything, almost like some kind of game night with all their friends. All of the girls went as well, it was supposed to be childish fun. You hated it. Not minding cuddling up with Yuta, you hated doing it with all the girls glaring at you. Mostly the other four in your group, because it made his favor toward you all the more obvious. You managed to get through the night, taking the chance to watch Kun without restraint when they decided to start some karaoke. He was the second-best singer after Doyoung, but none of the brothers were slouches. Some of their friends were pretty good themselves, could have been their jobs. It wasn't you ogling him while he sang that gave you away though. And, either fortunately, or horribly, Kun was the one that noticed. The guys were all taking random pictures together, and you stood at the side watching, honestly enjoying the random things they were doing. At some point Kun ended up sitting on the floor, holding up his closest friend, Chenle, so he didn't fall off of Jeno's back where he stood. You covered your mouth and giggled, eyes flicking to Kun as they tried to hold the pose for the picture. His eyes flashed to meet yours and you felt yours grow wide. He smiled, straight at you, and not the sweet one he normally gave at formal events or to diplomats and other public figures. It was a smirk, and it was the sexiest thing you had ever seen. You knew your face was once again red as a cherry, you could feel the heat leaving your skin. You quickly avoided his look; hand going to try and cover your face as you slipped away from the crowd and toward the restroom. You splashed cold water on your face, then met your own frazzled gaze in the mirror. Taking a few deep breaths, you moved to leave but heard voices in the hall, so you halted.

"You know that Jingxian girl is a bitch, right?" The voice was familiar, but quieter than you were used to, so you almost didn't recognize it was Chenle.

"That's harsh." Another person replied. Renjun?

"It's true." That was Yangyang.

"Wait, was she the one who threw her soup at that maid while they were in Europe?" Renjun asked.

"Yeah. She also apparently pretty much stole some girl's necklace that she liked when she went to Japan with…I think her name is Eiko?" Chenle replied.

"Kun-ge told me that she had taken some book from one of Yuta's girls and threw it in a fountain. It was signed or something. He made her replace it and she had to pay like a million won." Your arm jerked away from the handle then. Yuta told you a maid had done it on accident…

"Was it the quiet one he got the leather satchel for?" You shook your head a bit in shock. Yuta got that for you…you thought.

"He told me he tried to get Yuta to let him have her in the beginning, but he said no." Chenle continued, and their voices faded as they continued down the hall. Your head was swimming and your heart had started to race again. There was nothing you could do if all that was true. You were Yuta's, and that was final.

~*~*~

There was a final straw for the other Sakuras though. At it would be their downfall it seemed, and they only fell because they weren’t careful when trying to push you over the edge first.

You were in the lounge, the area big enough to easily accommodate all of the girls and let them have all kinds of fun. Your favorite place was on the top bunk, of essentially a bunk-couch. Instead of a bunk bed, there was a nice soft couch with a wooden loft over it, and another couch on top with ladder-like staircase to get you up on. That was your favorite place. It was removed from the central conversation-pit-like area where most of the girls gathered. They would play drinking games and tell all sorts of lurid stories and secrets, while you would sit under the dim light of a lamp and read.

"Hiyomi, come here!" The girl that called you, Eiko, was the second eldest of your group. She was the only one that was actually Japanese herself, but even then, she was given a different name. You each were granted one from Yuta himself, you weren't even sure he knew any of your real names. Your birthnames didn't matter anymore.

Sighing, you reluctantly put your bookmark in your novel and trudged over to the group. Not everyone was there, Ten's girls were probably off getting drunk and defiled, and three of Taeyong's were with him abroad. Sitting down gently in an armchair, you smoothed your skirt down as you did and stiffly rested back.

"We're playing truth or dare." Of course they were.

"Okay?" They never invited you to play anything or do anything with them unless they were forced to. The competition had gotten much worse lately. As the Princes all approached the grand age of 25, they would finally choose their main wife. You were in the lead, to no one's surprise, but to everyone's chagrin. Yours included. You shot a quick glance at Jingxian. She was the forerunner of the Ursas…Kun's favorite seemingly. She was refined, elegant, beautiful. To many she was kind, sweet, but she was cold to you. She was never rude in person and as far as you know, after the book incident she didn't do anything. That was better than cruel though. She was close with Eiko, and you assumed that was why she disliked you so much, since Eiko cared so little for you. You didn't associate much with any of Kun's girls, but still you hated them. No, that wasn't the right word, you envied them. The worst thing was, you knew that Jingxian didn't love Kun. Just like you didn't love Yuta. She was enamored with Taeyong. Well, maybe not him, but his status. He was the crown prince, which would mean she could be queen if she was chosen. You weren't sure who else knew this, but you knew it was grounds for her to be more-or-less banished. If you really wished, you could out her, and get her kicked out, but what was the point? That wouldn't help you any, and there was no point in lashing out at her out of jealousy. That would make you just like all the others.

"Come sit here." Eiko was being way to friendly, which made you way suspicious. You followed her prompt though; you were the youngest after all. There was an empty soju bottle in the middle, the girls clearly having finished it off earlier.

"I'll start." One of the Petals started; her name was Anjeong. She spun the bottle, and you held your breath, only sighing gently in relief when it landed on Eunhwa, the eldest Bunny.

"Truth or dare, unni?"

"Hm." Eunhwa tapped her finger on her chin, "truth."

"How big is Prince Doyoung's cock?" She prompted and the girls chattered with curiosity. You zoned out then, knowing how this whole thing was going to go. Your eyes drifted to watch the gas flames in the fireplace. As you glanced back at the bottle as it was spun again, not even hearing her answer, your eyes passed over Lumei. She was the maknae of the Ursas, and you hated her the most. You could have been her; she was only about a month younger than you. She didn't seem to notice your glare and she giggled when the bottle landed on her when Eunhwa spun it.

"Truth or Dare, Lumei?"

"Dare!" She decided quickly and Eunhwa looked thoughtful for a second, looking around. She smirked and cast a devilish look at Jingxian before looking back to Lumei.

"Show us what Prince Kun's favorite position is." You wondered if they noticed you go still. Completely. You couldn't show a reaction, you didn't want to let any of them know your secret. They would use it to assassinate you. Jingxian scoffed at the question, over-dramatically.

"I don't think she's can." She grinned coyly, taking a sip of her wine and Lumei sent her a playful sneer.

"Honestly, I can't really show you, because I myself can't do it. But…" Lumei looked around and then climbed onto the couch behind her. She sat on it backwards, knees on the back of the couch, back to the cushion, her head hanging over the edge, hair flowing to the floor. She opened her mouth wide and just sat there a second, the other Ursas giggling. Your jaw clenched, eyes stinging, but you still didn't move.

"Her gag reflex is too sensitive." Jingxian pressed on her throat, and she hacked, sitting up to catch her breath around laughs.

"I can't even open my mouth that wide…" Mianyu mumbled, and the girls chattered and giggled. Your tongue ran over your lips, and you pondered if you could. You were all too familiar with that position Lumei mimicked, and at first you had been disgusted at her pose. But now you would enjoy it with Yuta more, you could imagine Kun instead. Like you often did. Your gag reflex was practically nonexistent, whether it was genetics or a fluke, it had always been that way.

"Okay!" Your eyes flicked to the bottle as Lumei spun it, still giggling, clearly tipsy. You sagged in relief when the bottle landed on Aikiro then. She was your biggest rival…in her eyes anyway. She outright despised you, she felt she should be the favorite just because she was the ‘leader’. Okay…whatever.

"Trush or dare?" The Ursa maknae hiccupped and you wondered if the blood going to her head made her drunker.

"Truth." She leaned back against the couch she sat in front of, sending a wry look your way. What did you do? You rolled your eyes and looked back at the fire.

"How many times have you done it with Yuta, and Jungwoo and Mark?" she asked, and silence fell over the group. Your eyes widened a bit, but you didn't look back to the group.

"You idiot!" Mianyu slapped the back of Lumei's head, and she yelped.

"What?" Aikiro nearly growled.

"W-well. I mean, everyone knows that Yuta invites them over a lot. Jinyu said…"

You felt four heated gazes fall on you and you licked your lips, looking slowly back at everyone else. Your eyes flicked to Jinyu who was staring at the floor, zoned out.

"What do you mean, a lot?" Aikiro looked back at Lumei who shriveled under her glare, pressing closer to Jingxian.

"E-every Friday." She replied. Before you could look back to your fellow Sakuras, you flinched as Aikiro stormed over, dumping her wine all over your head. You exhaled in shock, closing your eyes to prevent the alcohol from running into them.

"You fucking bitch! You told them? I bet you brag about it." You grit your teeth, reaching for the nearby tissue roll, but Eiko snatched it from your reach, her own drink joining. The fruity scent of whatever kind of pre-mixed cocktail she was drinking stung your nose and your hair started to drip.

"H-hey!" Gyuri, the kindest one there, the maknae of Doyoung's bunnies, tried. She really did try, but… You winced and grunted when a hand grabbed the back of your hair, yanking your head back so were forced to look up at the owner. Keiho was the oldest, out of all the girls actually, but she was the most cruel. She was the most two-faced as well. Your eyes flicked to her drink, expecting her to dump it on you as well, and your face fell. It was a bottled pina colada. Coconut. Everyone knew you were super allergic to it, couldn't even eat anything made in the same factory as coconut products.

"Hm, I wonder if you would like the taste of this?" Keiho took a sip before looking at the label on the bottle and she let go of your hair just long enough to let Eiko take over.

"Wait, Keiho-" Mianyu stood then, trying to go forward. Before she could get very far though, Jinyu grabbed her wrist, halting her. No one but you seemed to notice Gyuri slip away from the group and out the door. You prayed she was going to get help. Your heart was pounding, you were scared, legitimately. This wasn't a joke, not a game anymore. They were seriously out to hurt you. Keiho swirled the bottle a bit, and let it tip slightly, a drop falling from the mouth and landing on your cheek. It didn't take any more than five seconds for your skin to start itching, and the girls around you could see the skin already starting to redden, following the path of the drop before it landed on the floor. You tried to wiggle free at that point, out of Eiko's grip, but the final Sakura, Yumi, sat behind you in the chair, holding you in place. She giggled, leaning down to whisper in your ear.

"Should I tell them about Kun?" Her voice was so soft you almost didn't hear her. You froze then, eyes wide, looking toward Jingxian.

"She knows too, you know." Yumi whispered and then you saw the other woman smirk. The other girl still didn't let Mianyu go and help you. Aikiro kneeled then, joining Yumi in restraining you, her hand going to your face and pressing on your cheeks to force your mouth open. A tear fell from your eye, and you tried to shout, but Eiko's hand left your hair and landed on your throat. Not enough to cut off your air, but in just the right spot to silence you. Keiho swirled the drink again and was just about to tip it again, but she hesitated. Why? Your eyes met hers and she seemed to realize how bad it would be to do what she wanted, seeing the raising red welt on your face from just a drop. It wasn't like your tongue and throat would slowly swell shut, it could shut your body down faster than anyone could get help.

"Don't be a fucking coward." Jingxian snapped, slamming her wine glass down onto the side table so hard it sloshed from the glass. She snatched the bottle from Keiho, and she tipped it-

The sliding door slammed open, the loud noise startling her. The girls all looked in horror at the door, and you watched in terror as the bottle fell from her hand, the alcohol splashing onto you, and a swig or two fell into your still open mouth. You choked, trying to spit the liquid out, your mouth already burning, and the girls let you go as Yuta stormed into the room and straight to you.

"Hiyomi!" You spat more out, nearly tempted to force yourself to throw up…if you even could. Your mouth and face burned, your skin and eyes itched, and tears fell from your eyes as your head grew foggy. You were already wheezing, and Yuta was at your side immediately. A second person landed on your other side.

"Sit her up." You let Yuta move you, slumping back into him and watching blearily as the nurse brought the EpiPen down and injected the medicine into your thigh. You felt some relief at the moment, and you grew tired quickly but your breathing was still shallow. The nurse went ahead and injected the second shot and your body seemed to get enough relief that it wanted rest then.

"Hiyomi!" A third voice hit your ears and you blearily looked to see someone else dash in, heading for you as you fell unconscious.

 ~*~*~

You awoke to the sound of beeping, and distant voices. You blinked to clear your vision and it was clear you were in a hospital. You cringed, looking down at the IV in your arm…You really preferred it in your hand. You felt like you couldn’t bend your arm, and they had put it on your dominant side to boot. Groaning, you adjusted in the bed, your body and head felt heavy. The voices got louder; you could recognize one was Yuta's.

"They did it on purpose, everyone knows how allergic she is to coconut."

"I'm not saying what they did wasn't bad, but are you really okay with getting rid of your entire harem but Hiyomi?" It was another man, a voice you only ever heard in person once. It was the King.

"Father, if I had to pick only one wife, ever, it would be her. She was going to be my main wife anyway. I think having five of them is ridiculous anyway."

"Yuta-"

"I'm not the heir, anyway, so why does it matter?" You didn't hear a response if there was one.

"What about Jingxian and Jinyu?" Jinyu? She was there, but she hadn't done anything that you remembered.

"Get rid of them." Kun's voice was clear. And sharp.

"Didn't you tell me Jingxian was most likely your choice?"

"Not anymore."

"Jinyu too, then?"

"Wasn't it her idea?" Silence.

"Yuta, did what those six tell you not matter?"

"What?" Kun asked then, confused. You strained to hear Yuta's response.

"Yumi. She…she told me that Hiyomi likes you." Finally, your prince spoke. You heard the beeping of your heart monitor increase and felt it in your chest.

"Your highness, I found it!" A maid's voice joined, and you furrowed your brow, listening.

"There's a lock on it." What?

"Just snap it off." Your mouth went dry. Your journal. How'd she know about it? You were more than careful. Or so you thought.

"Did Miss Janyeon have the key to her lock box?"

"Yessir." Fuck. But, if the King requested, it wasn't like she could refuse. That was it. You were out. At least you didn't die.

"I knew all this." Yuta's soft voice was loud in your ears and your breath hitched. What?

"You did?" Kun and the King asked at the same time.

"She's careful. But I know her too well by this point."

"Why didn't you say anything?" the King prompted.

"She was mine, that's all I cared about. It was selfish, but… It is a bit worse than I thought." Yuta huffed.

"What do you want to do, Kun?" Their father moved on.

"It's up to her." It was hard to read his tone, and even in the other room, you could feel the tension rise just by the lack of response from Yuta.

"She's mine." His tone was harsh, you had only heard him angry one other time. Right before you passed out. It felt like minutes of silence passed.

"If that's what she wants." Kun spoke finally.

"I think we owe her a decision, since she went through such an ordeal. It’s impressive she kept it hidden so well, and didn't ever act on it, or act out against the other girls. I might not be around much, but your mothers are, and they tell me everything. She's brave and strong for all the shit the other girls put her through. For now, let's keep it hidden we all know, let her choose her next actions without interference. If she chooses Kun, what will you do Yuta?"

"If you love something, you gotta learn to let it go." His defeated tone made your throat clench. You didn't want to hurt him, you really cared for Yuta. You also knew that your feelings for Kun were borderline insane, if not straight-out irrational. It was infatuation, you weren't allowed to get close enough to him to call it love. You were starting to realize then, that it was probably Yuta's doing. Especially if he knew. Maybe that was why he kept you at his side if the others were around, you thought it might be to protect you from the other girls…

"That's a lot different than what you said three years ago."

"Fuck off."

"Yuta, if you allow her to choose Kun instead, you won't have anyone. It would look bad on me." their father pressed.

"If she leaves me, I'll abdicate." You gasped at that. Yuta was second born, even if he wasn't the crown prince, he was closer to the throne than anyone else. He was right after Taeyong, which would put him in a high position when the eldest became King.

"Yuta-"

"If Kun ditches his girls. If Hiyomi chooses you, you can only have her. She deserves the world, and you better fucking give it to her." You closed your eyes, a tear leaving your eye as you made your own decision. No matter how desperately you had wanted Kun the last four years, Yuta was willing to risk everything for you. You couldn't let him do that.

"Would it look bad for the third-born to have one wife?" Kun asked then and you clenched your jaw, the beeping on the machine picking up. You glanced at it, not sure how to read the numbers, worried if you got any more emotional it would set it off.

"I'm going to tell you boys something that no one else can know. Doyoung already requested that he only marry Gyuri. He's tired of dealing with the girls' drama. Ten doesn't care much for an actual marriage to anyone. Taeyong is willing to have the harem if he's king, since it was the deal for the imperial alliance. He already chose Sooyoung to be the crown princess. I remember when I was your age, all of the crap the girls did to each other, the backstabbing, the gossip. The only girl I've seen that hasn't played into any of it was Hiyomi. Even your mothers love her. If she chose Yuta, what would you do Kun?" More silence.

"If that's what she wants-"

"What the fuck do you want?" Yuta spat.

"Honestly? I want to take her from you. I have for years. I know you said, father, to let her decide without us interfering, but… I'm not going to just sit by." The King sighed so hard that you heard it, your head was spinning trying to process everything.

"If she feels safe with it, I want to bring those six to her. Make them apologize. Hiyomi can decide if they will simply be expelled or if she wants to press charges legally." Your mind ran rampant in that moment. The king was letting you decide? All of your hurt and anger, resentment, jealousy; everything bubbled inside.

"I will have someone speak to Mianyu and Lumei as well. I have a hard time believing they had no part to play, or at least that they didn't know." The king finished and the conversation died, and you assumed they left. A door opened and you realized they had been in the room next door, sharing the wall that was behind your head. Your own door started to open, and you partially shut your eyes, pretending that you just woke up.

"Miss Hiyomi?" A woman spoke a nurse entered, with Yuta behind her. No one else.

"Yes?" You opened your eyes more, continuing the act.

"Do you know where you are?"

"The hospital." You hadn’t hit your head, why wouldn’t you know?

"It was good the nurse had those EpiPens ready, you had a very quick and severe reaction. We're going to keep you here overnight and if all is good, you can go back tomorrow." The nurse smiled and then left after taking note of your vitals, leaving you with Yuta. He sat in the chair next to your bedside, taking your hand in his.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like crap." You admitted and he couldn't help but sigh with a defeated smile.

"I would think. Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Could I have some water first?"

"Oh!" He got up and went to get what you requested, probably from a vending machine or something. You hated tap water… Yuta returned, and he helped you sit the bed up more as you took a swig from the bottle. You noticed his brow furrow, and his thumb rubbed over your cheek, it must have been a bit red still.

"What happened, (Y/N)?" You nearly choked, luckily you hadn't taken a sip.

"W-what?"

"(Y/N)." He reiterated and you closed the bottle, lip quivering a bit. It had been so long since you heard that name…

"I didn't know you knew my real name." you whispered.

"I shouldn't. But I asked." You had a hard time meeting his eye, so you just rested back, eyes closed.

"I was stupid. I was just reading, and they invited me over to play truth or dare." You huffed in annoyance, "I was suspicious immediately, but I went along with it. I…" You didn't want him to know you heard their conversation, or that you knew he knew about your feelings for Kun.

"I hadn't even been picked, but Lumei asked Aikiro about…about Jungwoo and Mark." You finally looked at him and he nodded, realization painting over his worried expression.

"It was clear that only I get the…privilege." You weren’t sure what else to call it.

"Aikiro got pissed and so she dumped her wine on me. Eiko dumped her cocktail on me and they with Yumi held me while Keiho threatened to make me drink her pina colada." His brow instantly furrowed, anger clearly taking over. But he was the quiet, scary angry type.

"Keiho hesitated, so Jingxian grabbed it from her and decided to do it herself…" You shivered a bit, feeling angry yourself. You never felt so mad. Sad, upset, hurt, frustrated? Yes. Not anger, not the rage you felt taking over.

"What about Jinyu?"

"Jinyu?" You played along. Yuta sighed.

"Apparently it was her idea. We decided that those six need to go. Father wants them to apologize first. He said it was up to you if they get expelled or if you want to get the police involved." You knew all of that already, but you were able to put on a bewildered expression.

"I can decide?" Your prince didn't say anything, and you wondered if he was thinking about his willingness to let you decide about him, or Kun.

"Yes, of course."

"What…what about you and them?" He didn't look at you and you wondered how he would word what you already knew.

"I only need you." He told you softly and you tried to hide your wince.

"Will you meet with them? You don't have to."

"No, I want to hear them apologize. And I want to tell them they're expelled. And I want to press charges." You turned your determined gaze to Yuta; he had never seen you look so harsh. But it made him smile.

"Good."

~*~*~

The doctors determined you were good to be discharged the next day and when you got back to the Sakuras’ dorm, it didn't look any different. You then remembered you wanted to be the one to tell them they were expelled, so you got to. The rest of them weren't in there, but there were maids scurrying about in their bedrooms, packing up their stuff.

"Hiyomi!" You turned as the head handmaiden came in and her hands went to your face, looking you over.

"You poor child." She sighed after you told her in detail what you went through.

"I'm sorry I had to help them find your diary." She pulled the journal out of the top of her hanbok, the lock had been broken off.

"It's okay." You took it from her, "did you look at it?"

"No, child. I know how to respect someone's privacy." You nodded in thanks, and she left to attend to other duties and so you entered your own room. Nothing had been touched, at least it seemed that way, but you still checked. Finding everything was in line, you got changed into something a bit more formal for the rest of the day. Looking in the mirror, you put on the brown and black plaid jacket that matched your skirt. Adding the beret of the same pattern, you pulled it further back, then readjusted your thigh-high socks. After, since you had about an hour to kill before you were supposed to confront the girls, you rummaged through your things. Many of your nicer accessories and little trinkets were from Yuta. Your mind went back to the conversation you had overhead nearly three years prior. Plucking the familiar book off your shelf, you looked over it, the spine was wrinkled from many read-throughs and the signature was in a slightly different spot than the original. It was your favorite book, and it made sense why Jingxian targeted it, but how did she know? Probably Eiko… You then looked at your leather satchel, you used it constantly, and you had nearly forgotten that apparently, Yuta hadn't got it for you. Did Kun really get it instead? Or did he suggest it? Get it for Yuta to give you? You didn't know. The other little gifts started to leave a sour taste in your mouth, making you wonder if he had lied about any of the rest. Your glass paperweight in the shape of a cat went missing, and supposedly a maid found it in your laundry, so he brought it back. A set of manga you liked had a limited edition only sold in Japan that he got for your birthday. But…he hadn't been in Japan when they were on sale. Kun had been though. Letting your thoughts loop into the negative, you gathered all of your gifts, minus the bag, and piled them on your desk. The bag was a practical item, so it was allowed some grace, but you wanted to ditch the rest for some reason. Why did you feel so mad at Yuta? It wasn't like he did anything wrong, technically, he just continued to act like he didn't know about your feelings for his half-brother.

"Lady Hiyomi?" A soft voice called after a knock on your door. A younger maid had come to escort you to a sitting room where you were to meet with the girls. Swallowing the few nerves you had, surprisingly, you followed after her and entered the room. It was empty, no one else was there-

"(Y/N)." You startled, only noticing Kun as you got further into the room. He was sitting on the couch under a window, and you wondered why Yuta wasn't there. He looked gorgeous as always; his hair dyed a dirty blonde and slightly wavy, and he had on a navy and white letterman jacket.

"(Y/N)?" If Yuta wasn't supposed to know your real name, how did Kun? That didn't matter, you were there with him, alone. And he was coming toward you. That's when you got nervous, and you gripped your hands together to hide their quaking.

"Yuta told me. I…I needed to show you something before everyone else gets here." He pulled his phone from his back pocket, and you glanced up at his face to see his clearly upset expression. He tapped on the device, and you heard an audio recording start.

"Can you help me or not?"

Yuta?

"I can, but what's in it for me?"

Was that…Jinyu?

"I'll make it so you can leave. Get out of here." "What do you want me to do?" "Come up with the plan yourself but figure out a way for the other four Sakuras to get expelled." "Can't you do it yourself?" "Not without a reason. Public image and shit. I really don't care about the rest of them, I just want Hiyomi. Can you do it?" "Probably. You wanted me to drag Jingxian too, right?" "Please. She's gotten on my last fucking nerve. She has to know about Hiyomi and Kun, why else would she be such a bitch?" "I know that's it. What was the last thing she did again?" "Something petty, poured bleach on her favorite dress. I got her a new one and she didn't even notice, but…" "How many things have you replaced?" "Like seventeen or something crazy. Those are just the ones she doesn't know I did, too." "You know, if you weren't my cousin, I wouldn't do this." "Bullshit, you know that's not why. We're only second cousins." "I'm serious, Yuta. I couldn't care less about the others." "Even Kun?" "Kind of hard to like your future husband when you're a lesbian."

It was clear there was more to the recording, but he cut it off. You were silent for some time, trying to process everything you just heard. You stumbled and Kun quickly pocketed his phone and reached out to stabilize you, then led you to the couch.

"Did…did Yuta know what the plan was?"

"I doubt it. But…it still was partly because of him." You slumped against the back cushion, resting your cheek on it, mind swirling. Your hat fell from its place, and you just pulled it all the way off.

"W-what do you make of it?" You needed more information; your emotions were so turbulent you couldn't even decide for yourself what to feel.

"Well…I know Jingxian was such a bitch because I like you." He just straight out admitted it and your body froze, your default response. He must have noticed the jolt you gave as your body stiffened and his hand went to your chin, prompting you to look up at him. Being so close to him, it took your breath away, he was even more stunning up close. And his eyes were so gentle and warm, not the same sharp heat you normally got from Yuta.

"Honestly, early on I tried to get Yuta to let you go, so I could have you instead, but he refused." Kun sighed, then huffed with dry amusement, "I'll admit I'm a little crazy when it comes to you."

"Birds of a feather…" You mumbled and he let your face go and you just slumped against the couch again.

"You know how Yuta gets you two presents for your birthday?"

"One's from you, huh?" You guessed accurately it seemed.

"How-"

"A few years back, I overhead your friends in the hall. They said that you made Jingxian replace my signed book. I know my bag was from you. Looking at it now, those gifts make a lot more sense. They would be so different from each other. Yuta would get me a pretty set of earrings and a necklace, but then there would be a full book series. Or instead of nice shoes, it would be a galaxy print. The year-long pass to the planetarium?" Kun was more of an intellectual than Yuta for sure, he was the only one of the princes that went to college. That was part of the reason you liked him so much, he was more similar to you than anyone else there. You knew that even with the restricted amount of time you had around each other.

"How did you get that recording?" You asked when it seemed he was struggling to find a response. He glanced up at you, head still bowed, dirty blonde bangs falling over his brow.

"Jinyu sent it to me with a caveat. She made me promise that you wouldn't press charges against her. She doesn't mind the expulsion, would welcome it…"

"Did you know that she was…?"

"Yeah. She told me early on."

"Yes, it was her idea, but… Yuta prompted her, and if you promised her that, I'll respect it." Your expression hardened then, so quickly it made Kun raise his brow in surprise.

"I can't believe him. I know…" You swallowed hard, "I guess he did it because he loves me. Or that might be what he says, but for all this time…" You exhaled hard through your nose, brow furrowing.

"Yes, I want to get back at the girls even past kicking them out, pressing legal charges. They put me through so much shit for so long…And I shouldn't be this mad at Yuta, but… I want to get back at him too." Your last sentence was much quieter, you felt ashamed of your rage toward him, but that recording just bubbled everything over. You looked up then, fully to make eye contact with Kun.

"I just…I don’t know how. Help me?" The other prince hummed, leaning into the back cushion himself, looking pensive.

"I shouldn't be as sadistic as I want…" Your phone alarm went off then, meaning the others would be coming rather soon.

"Think on it, I'll go with what you plan." You told him, standing to adjust your clothes. Stepping over to a mirror, you put your hat back on, fixing your rumpled hair as well. The king was coming too after all. As you primped, Kun stepped up behind you so you could see him in the reflection as well. He wasn't any taller than Yuta, but that did still put him nearly a head taller than you since you weren't in heels. You gasped, watching his arms wrap around you from behind, his cheek pressing against the side of your head. The black fabric of his sleeve smelled amazing, like him of course. Your heart started to beat so hard you were sure he could hear it, maybe even feel it where his chest met your back.

"Tell me, what does Hiyomi mean? Do you know?"

"Something with sunlight and beauty." You had learned Japanese in your training, but that didn't mean you knew name etymology. Yuta had mentioned it before though.

"How do you like Yuhua?" You assumed it was something similar…was he already thinking of picking a different name for you? Honestly, it was the next best after your birthname.

"Perfect." You whispered and nearly whined when he pulled away abruptly, the door opening not even thirty seconds later. Your posture immediately corrected itself, and you bowed your head as the King entered, followed by Yuta, then the six girls were escorted in by a few of the royal guards. Though, they looked more like federal agents…

"Sit." One of them ordered and the clearly dismayed girls followed. There was still evidence of mascara running and their faces were blotchy and red. They weren't in their fancy clothes either, having been dressed in clothes similar to the uniforms worn as trainees. Plain pleated skirts and button ups with a cardigan. For once, you weren't the plainest dressed one in the room, and you felt more smug than angry looking over them.

"Come here, child." The king prompted and you stepped to his side at his prompting, head still bowed to avoid looking at his face. You didn't notice the glare Yuta had sent Kun's way when he realized he had arrived there early. And that he had access to you without your prince being there as well.

"Tell them, Hiyomi." He motioned with his hand, and you turned to face them fully. They were clearly shocked by your cold gaze, and your eyes met Jinyu's. She looked significantly less nervous, and it was clear she was putting on an act.

"Expel them, please, your highness." The five other girls had various reactions, all forced down and if glares could kill, Jingxian would succeed in her mission.

"Of course. Now, you six. Apologize." The King's tone was hard, and the girls shakily stood and moved to face you. They clearly didn't want to do what followed, but they had little choice. They fell slowly to their knees, and bowed low, foreheads on their hands pressed to the floor. You barely registered the clearly scripted words they spoke, and you turned to look over your shoulder at the princes. Your gaze first went to Yuta, and it was clear he had no idea that you knew everything. He gave you his classic smile, but it just pissed you off then. You then looked at Kun and he gave a subtle nod.

"Jinyu can go." You then noted and the King was curious why you only let her go, but he allowed it. He knew there was something unspoken since Jinyu seemed to sag in relief as she left.

"We'll tell them the rest, father. Would you mind leaving us to it?" Kun stepped forward and his father turned to look back at him. They exchanged something unspoken through their gaze.

"Very well." He nodded and he left along with the guards, who stayed stationed outside the door as it closed.

"Hiyomi?" Yuta stepped up closer, but you ignored him, going to where the girls had sat back down. The other Sakuras looked a bit more nervous, but Jingxian was steaming. All of her hard work over the years, desperate to get whatever wealth and power she could, gone. The sneer she shot you pissed you off, hand flying up without thought, smacking her hard enough to snap her head to the side. She just sat there, not looking back at you. Not sure what to say to them, you turned and looked at Kun who was in the same spot, a little behind his slightly older brother. A smug look fell on his face, and he stepped around the other prince, shedding his letterman-style jacket and laying it on the table. You wanted to swoon as he rolled the sleeves of his white button-up, so they bunched above his elbows. Paired with his watch and the ring he had on his index finger, it was so little, but so hot. Yuta must have noticed how your expression changed, recognized it even, but you knew it was different than anything you gave him.

Kun sidled up next to you and he raised a brow, silently asking if you were ready. You nodded so slightly, with a tiny hum and you gasped as his hand grabbed your chin. The move was a bit rough, but your gasp was of delight, not fear or shock. His eyes were still warm, and he had the sexy grin back, your thighs twitched along with your core.

"You know, it’s a shame that only Yuta could get a girl so good." His grip softened, and he cupped your jaw instead. The room was so quiet you could hear Jingxian's jaw clench and made her teeth grind against each other. Kun's face was so close to yours that you felt his breath on your lips.

"Kun, what are you-" Yuta started, coming closer.

"But it's also a shame that she got stuck with him." His tone was incredibly patronizing, derisive and you just took the chance to bask in his presence and attention as he pulled his phone back out, stepping back slightly. He still had the audio clip paused where he left it off before, and you saw then it was half-way through.

"At least you only have to deal with one guy. He also knows. I have to get it up for four other sluts I couldn't care less for."

 The four other Sakuras gasped, and your eyes flicked to look at Kun's phone, but his hand at your jaw turned you back to focus on him. It was hard to get mad with the following audio while looking over him, so close to you. You didn't even care to look and see what Yuta's expression was. He had frozen, just behind his half-brother, almost scared to move.

"Viagra?" "No, I just pretend they're Hiyomi. Hard to do though. Eiko's so fucking annoying and won't shut up. Sounds like a bad porno. Aikiro still doesn't know what the fuck she's doing even after training for a year and more. Yumi has no stamina and is selfish to boot. Keiho-"

Your eyes flicked to the phone again, waiting for him to finish. It seemed he paused to take a drink or something, because the audio kept progressing.

"Keiho is a fraud. She thinks I don't know that she goes to Ten's little orgies or whatever. I know she's slept with half of the guard too."

All the girls looked at Keiho then, her cheeks that were bright red with anger were now horribly pale.

"She acts like she wants stuff vanilla, loving. I know she can only get satisfied with two cocks in her."

Kun shut it off then, only a few seconds left but you had heard enough. How dare he criticize Keiho when he was the one that brought his friends in to fuck you at the same time? Did he think it would be flattering that he only thinks of you when he's with the others?

"Hiyomi-" Yuta tried to start, and you wanted to push around Kun, smack his stupid pretty face. But you trusted the other prince to come up with the best thing he could. He already tore down the girls, that much was obvious from their faces and the devastated looks they sent Yuta.

"Despite his supposed love for you, sweetheart, it’s a shame you don't feel the same." Since it wasn't directed at you, and it would still be incredibly hot if it was, the smug sadistic grin he had riled you up all the more. Kun hummed, prompting you to respond and he chuckled at the dazed look you had.

"No, I don't." It was like he was some kind of drug; your thoughts were foggy, and you needed more of him. He had taken out the girls, they looked like all the fight had been ripped from them, slumped on the couch. It had hit Yuta too, but not enough, not yet. Though, Kun needed to finish Jingxian first.

"Do you know how hard it was for me? From the moment I saw you, I wanted you. The only reason I was going to choose Jingxian was because I hate her. I couldn't live with myself if you weren't my wife, my princess, but I didn't want to hurt the other girls. They didn't deserve the hurt like her. She's a horrible human being and she seemed all the worse compared to you, (Y/N)." Hearing him say your real name again did it, you were head over heels in love with him and you thanked whatever higher being finally graced you with something good. All of the shit you had put up with came to the best moment of your life, knowing Kun wanted you just as badly as you wanted him. Even if you both knew it was crazy, even sick; at least you could be lovesick together. The final hit to the girls, hidden from Yuta since Kun blocked you from his sight, was the extremely gentle kiss he pressed to your forehead, followed by him gently brushing his nose over yours.

"Guards, take them to the police." The prince let your chin go, just enough so he could step back so as not to shout in your ear. The door opened and the suits came in, quite literally hauling the girls away, Jingxian now just as broken as the others.

"Only one left." You whispered when Kun came back to you. He shifted where you stood with a hand on your lower back, making you visible to Yuta then.

"Show him you're mine." He told you and it seemed your minds were linked. At graduation, each girl would kneel before the prince and swear their loyalty, almost like being coronated. You sank to your knees, but you looked up at him instead. The normally practiced display of reverence for a girl's monarch was corrupted by the desire you looked at him with, and he you. You were submitting to him as a man, not as a higher-up, nor a prince. He grinned when your hands gripped his belt, not moving to remove it, but the implication was clear-

"You fucker." Yuta shot forward, hand burying in Kun's shirt and yanking him away from you. You flinched back as Kun was pulled away and you quickly stood as the brothers stared each other down.

"You lost, Yuta. Move on, she's mine now. Ready to abdicate?" You flinched back with a gasp, hands covering your mouth as Yuta's fist moved toward his brother's face. Kun deftly moved his head the little bit he had to for the blow to miss.

"Wait!" You tried to weasel your way between them before the elder landed a punch on the younger. Even though they were the same height, Kun was bigger, Yuta had a hard time gaining any kind of bulk and he looked like a twig next to the other prince. While he wasn't the most muscular man you knew, he was outright perfect to you, and it was clear he was strong because Yuta barely budged him with his tug on his shirt, he moved with the pull. That was beside the point… You got back at Yuta, what happened was enough, you could tell by the hurt etched into his face. Your anger had immediately dissipated, a better solution hitting your mind. Neither of them knew you had heard the full conversation the day before, but that didn't change that you had.

"Don't abdicate. You already are losing your harem, but you told Kun to only have me, right?" Both men were clearly shocked that at your words and you took the chance to shove Yuta off, standing in front of Kun, clearly in a show of protection. Like you could really do anything…

"Y-yes." Your prince's voice was soft and rough. He didn't deserve how much you really wanted to wreck him. Your rationality had kicked in, logic taking over, he was already defeated.

"We’ll tell the press that the other four turned against me because I didn't want to be involved with you. Turn it on me. You take the three from Kun, and I go to him. You're second born, you can't just give up those rights-"

"(Y/N), I don't want to be a prince without you as my princess." Your chin quivered a bit at his tone, his eyes glassy.

"And I don't want to be a princess without Kun as my prince." You countered. You needed to break his heart for him to let you go. You didn’t turn to look at the other man even though Yuta's eyes flashed to look over your shoulder.

"Take the other three, add two more from wherever, do whatever. Wouldn't you rather move on and find someone else than love me and know I don't feel the same? If you love something let it go? Do you think I want to be restricted to you, when I love someone else?"

"You love him?" You didn't respond to his question. It wasn't the real definition of love, it wasn't that pure, but you had some twisted loyalty to Kun that you never did for Yuta.

"Do you love me?" You pushed back. You weren't sure, it seemed somewhat like you were a trophy, a luxury item that he might adore, but…

"You're supposed to be mine." He didn't answer the question. Not directly.

"You don't love me, I’m just your favorite. You liked that I didn't fight the other girls tooth and nail just to get your attention. You liked the challenge. If you really cared you would have told me all the shit that Jingxian did, and the others, I'm sure. You never even bothered to learn who I was, getting me pretty, girly things. You played up the romance but never did anything I liked with me. I might have been in your bed the most, but I wasn't in your heart."

"And you were in Kun's?" Yuta nearly spat, not trying to defend himself, because you were right.

"What's her favorite thing?" The man behind you cut in and you turned to look at him. You didn't answer, genuinely curious if Yuta knew, because he never acted on it…

"Books."

"Wrong. Space. She goes out at night to watch the stars. All her books are science-fiction. Her favorite sweatshirt is of the milky way and if there's ever a special event at the planetarium, she's there." How did he know all of that? The other prince was silent, clearly not sure what to do or say next. His eyes went back to you, and you couldn't meet his look, and stepped closer to Kun.

"Favorite animal?" Kun continued.

"Dogs-"

"Goats. She just can't have one as a pet, she asked. The keychain on her bag is a goat. So is the plushie she takes with her on out-of-country flights. She tells people she likes dogs because it's more accepted.”

"Her favorite color is dark purple because it looks like the night sky. She loves snow but hates rain. She's the only girl fluent in all four languages. She hates moths and loves fireflies." He kept going and you wondered how he knew all that. Though…it was all things that were more or less common knowledge, things your friends knew. It wasn't creepy, just observant, and it should be things Yuta knew. But, based on his face, he really didn't.

"He loves planes. He took lessons to learn to fly one. He loves cats but doesn't have one because Lumei is allergic. He wears a lot of black and white, but he always uses a blue pen because he likes blue too. He hates cold weather; he knows how to cook, and he even is scared of butterflies." You smiled softly, realizing all the things he knew about you, you pretty much knew about him as well. It was things you overheard while near him or figured out by watching him from afar. After an uncomfortable silence, you finally looked up to meet Yuta's gaze.

"I'll go talk to father. I'll… if you ever break her heart, I'll fucking kill you." The prince exhaled, seeming to get some kind of closure and he stepped closer, reaching for you. Midway though, his hand stopped, and his eyes flicked to the side, at your earrings.

"They're moons." He noticed.

"Yes." Your voice was quiet, and the prince dropped his hand, cast one more look to his brother, and left. Watching him go was…a relief. You thought you might feel something else, be a little sad, or hurt, but you just felt at ease. As you turned to face Kun once more, he was already there, his hands at your jaw and he pulled you to him, kissing you so hard your teeth clashed against his. The force of him pulling you into him knocked your hat off, falling to the floor. You whimpered, hands holding his wrists as you try to meet his fervor. Your butt hit the table when he turned you with his leg wedging between yours. One hand left your jaw to cup the back of your head, blunt nails scratching your scalp. The other hand found its way to your waist, then his arm snaked around your middle, helping you up to sit on the table. Kun finally pulled away, both of you panting and your dazed eyes met his sharp ones.

"Fuck." He sighed, leaning forward and resting his forehead on your shoulder. His hands rested on the table, holding him up so he didn't rest his full weight on you, and he stood there for a while. You pressed your cheek to his soft hair, basking in him finally being so close to you. Slowly, you brought your arms up, shaking, and wrapped them around his shoulders. The hug was quickly returned, Kun enveloping you back, and you pressed your face into his chest. With your ear over his heart, you closed your eyes, listening to it beat, soaking in the scent of his cologne. Neither of you really wanted to pull back, but never-the-less did so. He took your hands in his, bringing them up so he could kiss them.

"I need to talk to father as well, sweetheart," his hand cupped your cheek, thumb rubbing your soft skin, "wait for me."

Due to formalities and legalities, you weren't Kun's right away. Because of all the rules, you both were moved into a guest house more or less, still on the royal campus, but not one of the official palaces. You had to wait for nearly a week as the ministers convened, trying to figure out what the hell to do. Taeyong remained the heir and was the only one that kept the harem as promised. Yuta didn't abdicate, but he didn't rebuild his harem either. He ended up moving to Japan then, becoming the ambassador for that part of the empire. Kun adopted most of his roles and rights, and it was well received by the public that he wanted to marry for love instead. He wasn't the heir, so the ministers didn't mind too much. Ten had some of his privileges revoked when it was revealed how debaucherously he was living, but he didn't mind. Doyoung too gave up his harem, minus Gyuri. A lot of things changed fast, but it was welcome. Finally, once everything was official, you stood in the middle of the foyer of your new home, watching people mill about as they moved the final things in. Looking around, you startled when someone snuck up behind you, hugging you.

"It's done, sweetheart." Kun nuzzled behind your ear, and you bit your lip, giggling.

"Once everyone leaves, I'm going to take you, since your mine now."

Part 2: Up Close (Smut)

Master-Master List

NCT Master List

[felikatze]

On Eveyle in Heroes

hi so. there was this voiceline of eveyle's going around, right.

The other Veyle does not seem to awaken here... Did you murder her for me? How sweet!

And like the obvious gut punch reaction is. what the fuck. did summoning kill normal veyle. i posit. no. it did not. i posit--

the inverse is also true.

Before I came here, I was on a search for my kin, and I kept waking up in unfamiliar places. Thankfully, that hasn't happened since I came to this world.

This is a voiceline from Veyle: Gentle Dragon.

So. A few things. Veyle referrencing Eveyle means that this is NOT a post-canon Veyle. Considering her other voicelines on being a defect and dragonstones I'd say she's a lategame Veyle who hasn't quite hit her big character moment yet (which was murdering Eveyle. Go figure.)

And obviously Eveyle can't exist in a post-canon state either (she would be dead), so Eveyle comes from some nebulous mid/late-game state before Veyle's big moment as well.

So. These two come from. the same point in time.

Another thing. Emblems in Askr have physical forms. Let's here it from Mr Of Beginnings himself.

As an Emblem, I am not accustomed to being corporeal. I can fight as a Hero here—and even eat!

This is a quote from Emblem Marth. Somehow, summoning gives the usual incorporeal Emblems a physical form, even though they are nothing more than spirits.

And let me be clear here. FEH is the definite nail in the coffin that Emblems are not the characters themselves. Let's have Mr Of Beginnings clarify for us one more time -

1. The original Marth dwells in this land as a Hero? An odd circumstance. 2. Do I resemble the Marth you know at all? Or is he truly different?

Listen to me. Look me in the eyes. Emblems are artificial recreations of a person based on outside expectations of that person. They are people, but they are still creations with a purpose.

What I'm getting at here is blatantly obvious.

Eveyle - what is she again? Eveyle is an artifical creation of Zephia's, one meant to embody Sombron's will, based on what she and Sombron perceive that Veyle should be. That Eveyle is not simply some "amplified fell dragon instincts" should be abundantly clear not only in how Zephia was able to control Hortensia in an identical manner (Hortensia is not a Fell Dragon, she is a human girl) as well as the infamous helmet needed to induce this personality in Veyle after Veyle begins rebelling against Zephia's spell.

Eveyle is not some form of magic DID, and is not meant to be.

What I think is that Veyle: Gentle Dragon and Veyle: Fell Succesor are the from the same world and used to share one body. Being summoned to Askr gave each of them an individual form, through the same magic that gave bodies to the Emblems. Therefore, because they're no longer occupying the same brain, they obviously can't sense each other anymore, either.

So no, there was no murder involved.

......the potential narrative in this is actually really interesting.... like yes obviously Eveyle is the embodiment of the expectations placed on Veyle and Veyle killing Eveyle is ultimately symbolic of Veyle taking agency of her own life, abandoning her desire for love from her father in favor of the family that actually loves her back, flaws and all.

But to give this construct of both literal magic and narrative significance its own agency and personhood.... hm. hm hm. you can do some interesting things with that.

[ohboi]

and per the post i just reblogged about the wonderful black/POC characters of Arcane, i need to get this out of me now because that post got me on a tangent.

Sevika never worked for Vander, nor did she ever work for Silco. She works for Zaun.

Which is precisely why when she left Vander to join Silco in the first place, it wasn't betrayal to her. Vander had compromised, choosing to sacrifice the Nation of Zaun for the sake of his children and due to the immense guilt he probably had for what happened at the bridge. He was no longer truly for Zaun. Therefore, she no longer aligned herself with him. This explains why when Vi called her a "traitor"(which is incredibly ironic once we see the side Vi ultimately chooses), Sevika simply replied with, "Vander had his chance." Because he did. And he failed.

It also is why, when Silco asks her if she was tempted, she specifies that she wasn't tempted by Finn PARTICULARLY, since Finn was a power-hungry crime lord who had no care for the Zaun or the cause. However, had Finn actually cared about Zaun, that meeting would have gone a whole lot differently.

That entire scene was essentially Sevika warning Silco to get his shit together for Zaun and the cause in the most respectable yet threatening way possible. Dare I say, in that moment, she was the leader?

This is also why I think that having her team up with Jinx is literally so accurate to her character, because it just solidifies the fact that she's not just lackey for whoever sits in the chair, she is a fighter for her people, whom she will ALWAYS PUT FIRST, even if it means helping Jinx, since she is now, apparently, a "symbol" of rebellion to her people, and perhaps a symbol of hope. Or so they believe...

good heavens there's so much more i can say about her(ESPECIALLY the deep down desire for validation i believe she lowkey shares with Jinx. 🥲)

but all of this to say, as horny(metaphorically) of a mf i am i will not let it consume me, and neither should yall to the point where you miss the bigger picture of the person.

Sevika is such a complex, multifaceted character, and I wish more people spoke on it.

Also she better not fucking die.

[homestuckreplay]

The Time Traveler's Can Opener

(page 498-509)

8/18/2009 Wheel Spin: Character Switch Verdict: Oops, All John!

8/19/2009 Wheel Spin: being silly :3c Verdict: CORRECT (Gamer Refrigerator!)

500 pages!! I can't believe how fast these numbers are going up, I'm learning that most webcomics cap at one page a day at most, so feel genuinely lucky to get all this.

I thought John was going to get a Badass Moment where he totally owned those imps in the living room, but he totally biffed it :( but if he'd won against so many enemies so soon, the victory might have felt unearned. I am really noticing the improvement in Rose and John's Sburb abilities - their teamwork in these pages is so good, with John absconding to the study and then Rose sliding the refrigerator into the cranny so the imps can't follow. Rose has great instincts here and is in such a stressful situation herself that I can't help but give her props for her work here.

I do think dropping the safe from so high was overkill, and that destroying John's house is literally the opposite of her job right now. I also think that if the refrigerator gets one more kill it will probably out-level John and therefore take over as both the client player and the main character of our story. So the two of them both have things they still need to work on, but, reading this gives the real sense that they're making progress, and that gives the story a nice momentum.

I also LOVE how the imps, collectively, have a lot of personality. Real video games can often struggle with this, where low level enemies are mindless things to kill that leave no actual impression, but Sburb has really cracked it. The gag where the imps will replace their jester hats with any other hat or hat like object is very entertaining to me, and the fact that they're really invested in the pogo ride for some reason is curious. Most likely they just think it's fun to play with, but I like to imagine that Slimer from Ghostbusters is a god in their society.

I've been thinking recently about what wikipedia terms the 'sad clown paradox,' where comedians have an above average chance of struggling with issues like depression. It's really easy to read John and his prankster's gambit through this lens, but part of me wants to read John's whole house through the lens. From its multiple generations of inhabitants to its decor to its new invasive species, it feels like the essence of the clown is infused throughout this ultimately sad and lonely house.

Under the safe in John's dad's study is a captchalogue card and a note taped to the wall. Inside the safe is another, scuffed up copy of Colonel Sassacre, along with some old papers and an unidentified grey object in the back. I don't know what I expected to be in here, either money or an authentic Joseph Grimaldi jacket, but it seems like the Sassacre book is a really important heirloom that each person in the Egbert family gets to own. I'll probably speculate some more on why Dad wants to save these items specifically once we've seen the papers.

From the antiquated politeness of the new commands, I figured the Wayward Vagabond had read the human etiquette book, but I did not know they'd eaten it. It seems counterproductive to eat information that might be helpful. Unless that's how their species learns and retains things, in which case, great work and it's clearly paying off. Kind of sucks how the author of the etiquette book is British though.

Even now the Vagabond is being polite, it seems really dangerous to have these commands coming to John from an outsider, given how he loses all awareness of his surroundings when he's being commanded like this. But given the logo on the outside, the computer and bunker the Vagabond inhabits were built by someone, for some intended function. So what's the deal? Is the system of giving commands built into Sburb or not? Is there somebody else more competent who is intended to use this command panel, and the Vagabond has stolen their place somehow? Does Sburb really feel like it needs to mind control its players directly? Is the game going to get so difficult and complicated that this is the only way to win? The Vagabond doesn't seem like they have a goal with John beyond obtaining a can opener, but what will happen if whoever's supposed to be using this computer shows up?