#also garak For Sure would have given him a hug if julian had asked for one

[a-most-beloved-fool]

Trick! (+ Julian hurt/comfort, if you've got it?)

some of this is new, some of it isn't, and some of it definitely needs to cook a bit more (so if it sounds incomplete or rocky in places, shhh no it doesn't, you didn't see that), but here it is!

____

“Doctor Bashir,” a voice said from next to his ear, finally penetrating the haze of his panic. “Breathe.”  

And with a gasp, Julian did. 

The air felt – almost sharp. It burned cold in his lungs with each breath he took, the motion of his chest guided along by his hand on Garak’s own, held there by Garak himself. Spots danced in Julian’s eyes as his vision returned, and he squeezed his eyes closed, the sudden onslaught of light blinding.  

Garak didn’t pull away, perhaps able to tell that his steady breathing and sturdy figure were the only things tethering him to reality.  

Slowly, Julian came back to himself, awareness returning in fits and spurts. He took note of the sensations around him, categorizing them. It was an old familiar ritual, though it had been many years since he’d needed it. 

The floor beneath his knees was cold and hard, and the texture of Garak’s suit was soft under his fingers. Cool air was flowing from a vent nearby, just barely close enough to rustle his hair. The familiar scent of Garak’s scale oil surrounded him, spicy and comforting. His mouth was filled with the taste of blood, and he swallowed, grimacing. 

Gradually, the roar of his blood in his ears quieted and his heart rate returned to normal. He blinked sluggishly, seeing his surroundings for the first time. 

Somehow, Julian was in a maintenance corridor.  

It was, he supposed, better than having a panic attack in the middle of Quark’s, but he could still think of better places to be – his quarters, for instance.  

He couldn’t quite begrudge the presence of Garak, though, who was knelt in front of him, still holding one of Julian’s hands to his chest. His expression was uncharacteristically open, concern and something almost soft visible in the lines of his face.  

“Are you back with us, my dear?” he asked, squeezing Julian’s wrist lightly. His scales were blessedly cool against his skin, and Julian wished to lean into the touch, find out how those hands would feel elsewhere on his body.

For a moment, he debated leaning forward, just to see if Garak would give him a hug if he was sufficiently pathetic about it. It wasn’t as though he’d be on the station much longer, anyways, if Garak reacted poorly. 

Instead, Julian slumped backwards, his head thumping heavily against the wall behind him. “Yes, I – think I’m okay now,” he said, which was possibly the biggest lie he’d ever told, though he knew Garak wouldn’t hold it against him. “Thank you, Garak,” he added, as an afterthought. 

Garak raised his eyeridges, his skepticism plain to see.  

-----

(though it's a little lacking on the 'comfort' bit, I'm afraid)

I haven't talked about this fic much because i am quite certain it will take forever and an age to write, but I'm also excited about it, so there's a rather poorly organized summary of the au that this is set in under the cut.

(from this ask game, btw. this is the only ask i got for it, if anyone else wants to send one. :) i put a very brief summary of my way-too-many wips in the notes, for your convenience.)

The fic that this is from is based entirely around the idea "what if bashir didn't know about his augmentations?" and making that. make sense. And, because it's a bit of a stretch of the imagination to think that an augment as brilliant as bashir wouldn't eventually figure it out, it is also an "i made richard and amsha WAY WORSE" fic. Essentially, the events are as follows:

Jules finds out about the augmentations, and, understandably, is Wildly Upset. He threatens running away, telling the authorities, etc. and declares that he is, unequivocally, Julian now.

(also please note that julian is trans in this, but he'd still been fine with the name Jules before the augmentations, but after he's like. nope. getting rid of that.)

Richard and Amsha, not wanting their money and good work to go to waste, have a brilliant idea! What if Jules just... forgot.

They fake some form of reconciliation with Jules (who, to them is still their daughter) and then find more sketchy medical officials who are willing to help them out.

An implant is placed within Julian's brain, which telepathically suppresses "unwanted" knowledge and memories, as well as (for their safety) puts some blocks on Julian's abilities, preventing him from performing so well that his augmentations may be discovered (ie, the postganglionic nerve/preganglionic fiber mishap)

It ALSO prevents Julian from remembering that he's a trans man (and also that he's attracted to women and aliens. The Bashirs want grandchildren, after all, and the pesky little genetic tests that come with cross-species and same-sex children could be quite dangerous for an augment)

Unfortunately for the Bashirs, it's. well. not a very good implant. which means that it develops side effects in the form of Nasty Headaches whenever something causes Thoughts that needed to be Suppressed.

so we begin the story with Jules Bashir, freshly graduated and on DS9, who is beginning to get... a little nervous, about these strange headaches of hers, which are beginning to interfere oddly in her everyday life. Certain people cause terrible headaches (Dax, for one), and even getting too excited about research can cause them!

(also, because i think i am very clever, this fic does not actually have any Julian-POV until After the implant is removed. the first half is a mix of bashir's personal logs and the POV of other characters.)

the excerpt above takes place after the implant is removed, and right when Julian is remembering the augmentations.

(why does he remember his transition and name before he remembers the augmentations, you ask? uhhh, suppression, i suppose? really it's just more dramatic this way, but for the sake of sounding like i plan things well, i'll say "the augmentations were traumatic, so he suppressed it".)

[oblio-k]

First small fic in the first of a series called ‘Garak teaches his kids to stab people,’ ft. Julian as the father who gets stabbed

Also on AO3

Knives, My Dear

In retrospect, Julian realized it was foolish of him to try and use his enhanced reflexes against a four year old who had also inherited said reflexes from him and reacted on Cardassian instinct to what he had attempted to do. However, he’d still done it, and now both of the twins were starting to cry, there was blood getting all over the sheets, and he had a knife sticking through his hand.

And to think he’d told Nurse Jabara that he was happy to be getting out of work at a normal time and ready spend a quiet evening with the kids. He needed to stop jinxing himself, it was unhealthy, and downright dangerous.

Garak wouldn’t be home for another hour, with a fussy customer in his shop. If he got to the medkit quickly enough, he could fix himself up, change the sheets, and soothe the twins before he returned. It wouldn’t be enough to hide the scent of blood, but he could pass it off as a minor incident.

He held his wounded hand up over his heart, the basic first aid coming to him as easily as breathing. Reaching under the bed, where he usually kept his medkit, he realized it wasn’t there. Of course not. He hadn’t brought it back with him after taking it with him for a late night emergency.

Nothing to worry about. Garak kept his own medkit somewhere. He just needed to find it. Julian looked around, and realized he only knew of another medkit because Garak had once mentioned it. And knowing the man, he could have lied about that, even though it was such a strange and small thing to lie about.

He checked in places he thought it might be, the closet, bathroom, and under furniture. Nothing.

The twins were sniffling on the bed, teary brown eyes following him around the room. The one that hadn’t stabbed him was still holding her knife, one that Julian recognized as being Garak’s, the one he kept in his desk. One the twins weren’t supposed to know about. If they knew where the hidden weapons were, maybe they knew where the medkit was.

“Do you guys know where Yadik’s medkit is?”

They nodded, and pointed to a wall panel. Julian held back a groan. Why couldn’t Garak make things easy for once in his life? However, there was nothing he could do about it now, so he got to work pulling the panel off. It was difficult with just one hand, but it clattered to the ground, revealing a Cardassian medkit resting within the wall.

He pulled it out, and saw that it some sort of electronic seal attached to it that definitely wasn’t standard. He set the box down, and pressed a button on the seal. A small light on it blinked red. It had a small panel on it, a scanner of some kind. He pressed his thumb to it, and it glowed. The little red light flashed, and it gave a series of beeps, a high pitched alert. The kids flinched at the sound, covering their ears, and he winced.

Only Garak would have a medkit that needed a thumbprint to open. Just to make sure it was for Garak only, he had the kids try it. It set off the alarm for each of them as well.

Now there was blood all over the floor, and he had no other option than to take the kids with him down to the infirmary and feel like an idiot for getting stabbed by his own son by trying to take a knife from him.

“Let’s go down to the infirmary, guys. Nurse Jabara will fix me up, and everything will be okay. No need to cry.”

-

Jabara had given him a look when he walked into the infirmary, but then seeing the knife in his hand, the look faded to professionalism and she got to work. The twins clung to his legs, trying to climb onto his lap and getting in the way, but Jabara didn’t seem to mind, patting one on the head as she scanned his hand with a medical tricorder.

“Close your eyes, kids,” she told them, and then pulled out the knife. It took all his willpower not to make any noise, even though it really, really hurt. She wiped away the blood, and then retrieved an osteo-regenerator. As she mended the wound, she told the twins they could open their eyes.

Seeing that he was being healed calm them down some, and he pulled them up so they could get a better look. It was never too early to get them interested in medicine. Maybe if they wanted to become doctors they would stop playing with knives whenever they were left alone for more than five minutes.

After the bones in his hand were healed, Jabara shut off and gave the device to the twins to look at. “Either of you like learning about medicine?” They nodded. “Good. Would you like to try using this?” She held up the vascular regenerator. They eagerly reached for it, and Julian silently hoped she wasn’t going to let them actually use it on him.

Thankfully, she only let them turn it on and put it on the correct setting. Then, she took it back and used it. Once he was healed, she put the tools away.

“I thought you were supposed to be enjoying a quiet evening with these two in your quarters, Doctor. I must have heard wrong.”

God, he was going to get made fun of by all his nurses. Patient confidentiality be damned, it was going to go into the records that he’d have to go easy on his hand due to an injury, and it wouldn’t be hard to figure out what happened. “Yes, you must have.”

“What happened?” Out of spite, he refused to answer. She lowered her gaze to the twins, and lifted an eyebrow. “Ulan? Jay?”

Ulan frowned, and looked down at the floor. “I- I stabbed Papa. I didn’t mean to! He grabbed it, and...” The tears restarted. Jay quickly teared up as well, hugging his brother. Julian wrapped his arms around them.

“It’s okay, guys. I’m fine now. It was all just an accident. Don’t feel bad about it, Ulan.”

“How about I show you two how to use some more medical equipment?” Jabara’s suggestion caught their interest, and they were thoroughly distracted as she brought out a medkit and began explaining each tool. Julian wiped their faces off with his sleeve.

They were completely calm by the time they finished going through the medkit, and eager to see the rest of what the infirmary had to offer. Jabara lifted up Ulan, offering to take them into the storage room to see the surgical tools. Julian went to get up, but hearing a faint chirrup that made both of the twins’ heads turn stopped him. The two made a chirping noise in response, and wriggled to get free.

Garak stepped into the room, a faint smile on his face. The twins ran up to him as soon as they were set on the floor. “Yadik!”

He knelt down on one knee to let them hug him. “There you are. I thought you were supposed to be at home with your father.” He let his questioning gaze fall on Julian, silently demanding an explanation. “I was curious when I found our quarters empty, with human blood everywhere.”

Before Julian could come up with something that wouldn’t get him made fun of, Ulan admitted, “I stabbed Papa.”

After a brief moment of surprise, a look of amusement came over Garak’s face. He smiled at Julian, making him huff and cross his arms, before looking back down at Ulan. “I’m sure it was just an accident, my dear. You did nothing to be ashamed of. Your father looks perfectly fine, now. Though, if I may ask... Why did you stab him?”

“We were practicing knifes-”

“Knives, my dear.”

“-knives, and Papa tried to grab mine, and...” Ulan frowned at the memory. Jay chirped at him.

Julian looked away so he didn’t have to see the smug look on Garak’s face, his wide grin. “Why, he grabbed the knife? How foolish of him. Don’t look upset, dear, it was entirely his own fault.”

“Really?”

“Of course, my dear, why would I lie to you?”

[medicusculber]

more of the x-men au please!!

Among the looming figures of sky scrapers in down town New York City, there sits an old mansion, passed down for generations through the Phlox family.  They were one of the first settlers of New York

These days, the only permanent residents of the house are all doctors.  Dr. Julian Bashir, who had moved from India to work with Dr. Hugh Culber and Hugh had seduced him away from their white labs to work with Dr. Phlox, the owner of the house.  To the unaware eye, it’s just a house and they’re just people.  Phlox is a little reclusive, perhaps, but the other two are genial enough (not that anyone really bothers to check, this is New York after all, and people have places to go and people to see).

The house was not just a house, but also a clinic and place of respite to a certain section of humanity- the mutants.  Those, who by fate or misfortune, had found them elevated to a standard beyond human and, according to many, unworthy of life because of it.  Of the three doctors, only Phlox was obviously a mutant- he only needed one week of sleep every year, around his eyes were ridges that crept both to his cheeks and hairline, and when he was startled, his face blew up like a puffer fish.  

The other two appeared human enough, but Hugh always knew the lottery numbers and luck seemed to favor him extraordinarily.  To a normal observer this was not worth any alarm, but Hugh wondered what they would think if they knew he could manipulate probability.  Only to a small degree- he could not change the mind of everyone to be pro-mutant- but a life threatening bullet could be a little easier to remove.

Julian’s powers were such that he had taken to wearing gloves around nearly everyone.  He was a natural empath, but when he touched people’s skin, that extended to telepathy.  At least most people expected their doctors to wear gloves.

The clinic they ran didn’t announce itself, but rather traveled by word of mouth- mutants knew it was a safe space and that none of the doctors would ask too many questions.  It is this reputation that brings Paul Stamets, Ph.D to the door one dreary morning when fog hangs thick over the city.  Tilly, one of his doctorate students, had mentioned the place to him after his ‘incident’ but he had always been self-sufficient before and saw no reason to change that until now.  He wasn’t even sure if he technically counted as a mutant, he didn’t know enough about the x-genomes to say for certain if his DNA had always bore a mutation that had made it possible for him to commune with mushrooms or if something had changed it when he nearly died in his garden.  But he figured a clinic catering to mutants would be a bit more welcoming then a regular hospital, so with a little goading from Tilly, he went.

As soon as he entered the house, he knew there was something different about it.  And no, it wasn’t just the lizard-man (whom Paul would eventually be introduced to as “Garak, just Garak if you please”) talking with a doctor, at least Paul presumed so, in scrubs who was talking Arabic, though that was a very good indication too.  The front room was only sort of a reception area- if one had a reception area with bean bags, toys, books, and food along with the traditional coffee and magazines.  A little bit like walking into someone’s living room, one that was actually lived in instead of glossy magazine spreads with perfect fruit in a perfect basket (or like Paul’s own home- a little more dust then anything else).  The reception was a rather portly mutant with a wide grin that stretched the ridges on his face.  

Paul was slightly startled by the whole thing, but thankfully Tilly was there.  “Phlox!  How are you?”

“Quite good, quite good thank you.”  The two of them hugged and Paul blinked at them- Tilly hadn’t mentioned she was that friendly with anyone here.  Then again, it might just be a Tilly thing.  “I see you brought along a friend.  Emotional support or you recommending them to our services?”  Phlox asked Tilly, pulling out his tablet to write it all down.

“He needs to see Dr. Culber.”  Tilly replied, smiling.  “He’s recently come into his powers and he’s having issues.”

Phlox look Paul over, nodding.  “Thankfully, you don’t seem to be freaking out too much.  What is it, if I may ask?”

Paul shook his head, “It’s no scarier then facing down the thirty lawyers trying to argue that you can’t patent a mushroom.  And uh, I can...talk to my mushrooms.”

That seemed to intrigue the doctor more then anything.  “Talk to mushrooms?  How interesting!  Is it like a verbal conversation?  More of a passage of thought?  Emotions perhaps?  Do mushrooms have emotions?”  Paul opened his mouth to answer those questions in some order (probably starting with, “Yes, mushrooms have emotions how dare you imply otherwise.”) when another person joined them in the waiting room.  He looked a bit like he’d just rolled out of bed and was clutching a coffee cup like it was his savior.  Unlike Phlox and the other doctor, this person was wearing a t-shirt that declared “Mutant Rock!” with a glowing green rock on it and comfortable looking sweatpants.

“Morning, Phlox.”  He greeted Phlox with a nod.  “Tilly...and friend.”

“Paul Stamets,” Paul introduced himself, wondering if it’d be rude to offer his hand or not, but the man just bobbed his head, sipping the coffee.  And it smelled really good from where Paul was standing.

“I’m Hugh.  Dr. Hugh.  Dr. Culber.”  Hugh blinked sleepily and yawned, Paul had to wonder what kind of life the doctor had to lead to be sleepy at 4pm.  “Sorry, Phlox, but thanks for the nap.  I feel a lot less dead.”

“It was a slow day, Hugh, and it’s not like I needed the sleep.”  Phlox gently nudged him back through the door.  “Paul was just telling me what he’s here for.  If you get changed, Tilly requested you.”  

Hugh nodded.  “M’kay.  I’ll be right back.  Ask Tilly how she did in her 6000 ichthyology class, she was worried about it.” Message given, he disappeared completely and Paul stared, dumbfounded.  This wasn’t like any doctor’s visit he had before.

“I got a B!” Tilly yelled back at Hugh, before turning to Paul.  “And don’t think about running, I know that face.”  People had never been Paul’s strong suit and it was pretty obvious these people were very friendly, very informal and his brain was still rebooting from Dr. Culber in sweatpants.  

[raineydaywrites]

Maybe something with trans nog (after he's joined starfleet) getting advice and help from trans julian?

This ended up being more a study in trans Nog, but it features trans Julian helping out. I may expand on this later, but I’m out of ideas for now.

There's some implied transphobia and misuse of pronouns in a flashback.

Nog looked at himself in the mirror and studied himself. Sharon, his roommate, clapped behind him.

“Whoo! Looking good, Nog!”

“Are you sure? They don’t look too.. Fake?”

“No way! You look totally manly.” Nog fingered the false ears Pel had arranged for him to get and grinned back at Sharon.

“Thanks. I’m heading back home next week. I’m going to tell my dad and uncle.”

“Whoa, okay. That’s a big step.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m gonna talk to Doctor Bashir first. He might have some tips.”

“Why? Who’s he?”

“He’s the station’s Chief Medical Officer. He’s trans too. And even though he’s human, I hear his parents weren’t too happy to find that out.”

“Really? I mean, I know Ferengi culture is a bit backwards about this… no offense.” Nog threw up a hand to show no offense taken. “But humanity has long since given up such prejudices. Mostly. Is he from an outer world? They tend to have different values.”

“No. I don’t get it either. He never likes to talk about it. Just says they’re ‘old-fashioned.’ But he can help. Maybe.”

“Well, good luck. Remember, you always have a place here if it goes bad.”

“I know. And Jake and Captain Sisko wouldn’t leave me alone either. But I- I don’t want to think about it going badly.”

-

Quark had thrown a fit when Nog said he wanted to go to Starfleet Academy.

“It’s bad enough you allow her to wear clothes and go to that Federation school. Now she wants to be part of Starfleet?”

But at the same time, it was easier than it could be, because Quark recognized that Rom would be considered responsible for his wayward “daughter” if the FCA got involved.

Nog was grateful his dad had let him go to the Academy, not only because he wanted so badly to be part of Starfleet, but also because it allowed him to figure out he was trans. He’d always known something was wrong, but Ferengi society didn’t talk about things like gender identity. He might never have figured it out in that circumstance.

-

When he arrived, he greeted his family and Jake and unpacked his things in his room. He had scheduled a physical with Doctor Bashir for that very day, and so went at the decided time.

“Hello, Nog! Or should I say Cadet?” Bashir greeted him. Nog grinned at him.

“Nog is fine.” He shuffled nervously. Best to just get it over with. “Actually, Doctor, there’s something I want to talk to you about. In private.”

“Oh.” Bashir furrowed his brow, and gestured Nog into his office.

“Is everything alright?” He asked.

“Oh, yes everything’s fine. I just- I don’t know how to- I- I’m a boy.” Julian looked surprised for a flash of a second before nodding.

“Alright. I don’t know how Ferengi names work. Is there another name you’d like to be called? And I’m guessing you use he/him pronouns, but I don’t want to assume.”

“No, you’re right. And Ferengi don’t have variations on names to make them masculine or feminine so again, Nog is fine.”

“I see. Is there any reason in particular you came to me?”

“I just-” Nog got worried for a moment. “I haven’t told anyone except Jake and my roommate Sharon. I want to tell Dad and Uncle Quark but-” He stopped.

“But?”

“I’m scared.” This was said in almost a whimper, something Nog chided himself for, but couldn’t prevent.

“I understand. I can’t imagine what you must be going through. There are pockets of discrimination on Earth, but the vast majority of the planet has been accepting of gender diversity of centuries. Ferenginar is different. I can understand why you might be afraid.”

“I thought, maybe you would have some tips.” Nog sounded desperate.

“I’m afraid I don’t really. Everyone’s coming out experience is different. If you really feel the time is right, then you need to tell your family. The most I can help you with is transitioning, and even then I’d need to look up certain things about Ferengi genetics to do so.”

“Oh.” Nog deflated. Julian looked pained.

“Tell you what. I’ll help you with feeling more like a man. We can get you some new clothes, and a binder. Garak can make them. Or we can special order them.”

“I don’t really- have much latinum to spend.”

“I have some credits. And most clothing shops offer special discounts for transitioning people.”

“Okay. I guess you can tell Garak. I mean, he is your boyfriend, right?” Julian blushed at the words.

“Where on Earth did you get that idea? I mean, not that I- We’re not dating.”

“Oh. Jake told me. He must have been playing a trick on me.” Nog said, kicking himself, and planning to kick Jake when he saw him next.

“Well still. He won’t tell anyone, right?” Nog said.

“Of course not. He’s not a gossip, and he has no interest in spilling your secrets. Why don’t I finish your physical- because you do need one- and then I’ll take you over.”

-

After a few days- during which Nog spent a lot of time talking to Julian- Nog told his dad and uncle over dinner.

Quark up and left the room, but Rom hugged his son and spoke.

“I- well I don’t understand this, but if it makes you happy, then it’s alright with me.”

After a sleepless night on both their parts, Quark handed Nog a copy of the Rules of Acquisition the next morning.

“A boy ought to have a copy, right?”

Nog grinned widely and moved to hug a surprised Quark, who slowly put his arm around him.

[adriankyte-writes]

I would read.

Trick! (+ Julian hurt/comfort, if you've got it?)

some of this is new, some of it isn't, and some of it definitely needs to cook a bit more (so if it sounds incomplete or rocky in places, shhh no it doesn't, you didn't see that), but here it is!

____

“Doctor Bashir,” a voice said from next to his ear, finally penetrating the haze of his panic. “Breathe.”  

And with a gasp, Julian did. 

The air felt – almost sharp. It burned cold in his lungs with each breath he took, the motion of his chest guided along by his hand on Garak’s own, held there by Garak himself. Spots danced in Julian’s eyes as his vision returned, and he squeezed his eyes closed, the sudden onslaught of light blinding.  

Garak didn’t pull away, perhaps able to tell that his steady breathing and sturdy figure were the only things tethering him to reality.  

Slowly, Julian came back to himself, awareness returning in fits and spurts. He took note of the sensations around him, categorizing them. It was an old familiar ritual, though it had been many years since he’d needed it. 

The floor beneath his knees was cold and hard, and the texture of Garak’s suit was soft under his fingers. Cool air was flowing from a vent nearby, just barely close enough to rustle his hair. The familiar scent of Garak’s scale oil surrounded him, spicy and comforting. His mouth was filled with the taste of blood, and he swallowed, grimacing. 

Gradually, the roar of his blood in his ears quieted and his heart rate returned to normal. He blinked sluggishly, seeing his surroundings for the first time. 

Somehow, Julian was in a maintenance corridor.  

It was, he supposed, better than having a panic attack in the middle of Quark’s, but he could still think of better places to be – his quarters, for instance.  

He couldn’t quite begrudge the presence of Garak, though, who was knelt in front of him, still holding one of Julian’s hands to his chest. His expression was uncharacteristically open, concern and something almost soft visible in the lines of his face.  

“Are you back with us, my dear?” he asked, squeezing Julian’s wrist lightly. His scales were blessedly cool against his skin, and Julian wished to lean into the touch, find out how those hands would feel elsewhere on his body.

For a moment, he debated leaning forward, just to see if Garak would give him a hug if he was sufficiently pathetic about it. It wasn’t as though he’d be on the station much longer, anyways, if Garak reacted poorly. 

Instead, Julian slumped backwards, his head thumping heavily against the wall behind him. “Yes, I – think I’m okay now,” he said, which was possibly the biggest lie he’d ever told, though he knew Garak wouldn’t hold it against him. “Thank you, Garak,” he added, as an afterthought. 

Garak raised his eyeridges, his skepticism plain to see.  

-----

(though it's a little lacking on the 'comfort' bit, I'm afraid)

I haven't talked about this fic much because i am quite certain it will take forever and an age to write, but I'm also excited about it, so there's a rather poorly organized summary of the au that this is set in under the cut.

(from this ask game, btw. this is the only ask i got for it, if anyone else wants to send one. :) i put a very brief summary of my way-too-many wips in the notes, for your convenience.)

The fic that this is from is based entirely around the idea "what if bashir didn't know about his augmentations?" and making that. make sense. And, because it's a bit of a stretch of the imagination to think that an augment as brilliant as bashir wouldn't eventually figure it out, it is also an "i made richard and amsha WAY WORSE" fic. Essentially, the events are as follows:

Jules finds out about the augmentations, and, understandably, is Wildly Upset. He threatens running away, telling the authorities, etc. and declares that he is, unequivocally, Julian now.

(also please note that julian is trans in this, but he'd still been fine with the name Jules before the augmentations, but after he's like. nope. getting rid of that.)

Richard and Amsha, not wanting their money and good work to go to waste, have a brilliant idea! What if Jules just... forgot.

They fake some form of reconciliation with Jules (who, to them is still their daughter) and then find more sketchy medical officials who are willing to help them out.

An implant is placed within Julian's brain, which telepathically suppresses "unwanted" knowledge and memories, as well as (for their safety) puts some blocks on Julian's abilities, preventing him from performing so well that his augmentations may be discovered (ie, the postganglionic nerve/preganglionic fiber mishap)

It ALSO prevents Julian from remembering that he's a trans man (and also that he's attracted to women and aliens. The Bashirs want grandchildren, after all, and the pesky little genetic tests that come with cross-species and same-sex children could be quite dangerous for an augment)

Unfortunately for the Bashirs, it's. well. not a very good implant. which means that it develops side effects in the form of Nasty Headaches whenever something causes Thoughts that needed to be Suppressed.

so we begin the story with Jules Bashir, freshly graduated and on DS9, who is beginning to get... a little nervous, about these strange headaches of hers, which are beginning to interfere oddly in her everyday life. Certain people cause terrible headaches (Dax, for one), and even getting too excited about research can cause them!

(also, because i think i am very clever, this fic does not actually have any Julian-POV until After the implant is removed. the first half is a mix of bashir's personal logs and the POV of other characters.)

the excerpt above takes place after the implant is removed, and right when Julian is remembering the augmentations.

(why does he remember his transition and name before he remembers the augmentations, you ask? uhhh, suppression, i suppose? really it's just more dramatic this way, but for the sake of sounding like i plan things well, i'll say "the augmentations were traumatic, so he suppressed it".)