#also fuck you stupid stairs spell

[bimoonphases]

@wolfstarmicrofic March 3 – prompt 3: Obscuro – word count 523

Obscuro - Conjures a blindfold

“Obscuro!”

Sirius watched with a grin as the magically conjured blindfold wrapped itself around Remus’s face while he was still entering the dorm.

“Padfoot, what…”

“Ssh, it’s fine, don’t worry,” Sirius immediately said, putting a reassuring hand on his boyfriend’s arm while he locked the door behind him. “Come with me.”

“What are you doing?” Remus’s voice was amused now.

“Well, I noticed you didn’t have your usual triple serving of dessert at dinner tonight, my darling,” Sirius guided Remus to his bed and made him sit down. “So I prepared a little something.”

“Why the blindfold though?”

“Patience, my dearest, patience.”

Sirius sat down too, taking the time to place a couple of the pillows behind Remus before uncovering the trays.

“I wanted to play a little game,” he said to the raised eyebrow peeking over Remus’s blindfold. “Do you trust me?”

“I’m not sure right now.”

“Come on Moony,” Sirius pouted. “Do you trust me?”

Remus chuckled, then a fond smile formed on his lips.

“With my life, my love,” he said softly.

Sirius felt his cheeks turn pink like every time Remus said something like that and he picked a piece of toast from the first tray.

“Good. Now, I just want you to guess what food I’m giving you. Easy enough, right?” he got closer, sitting now right in front of Remus. “Open up.”

Remus did as he was told and chewed, before grinning.

“That’s easy enough: peanut butter toast. The crunchy variety.”

“Very good, Moony. What about this?”

“Effie’s cherry jam. Last summer’s batch.”

“Impressive. This?”

“Cadbury Creme Egg.”

“Dammit, I thought that one would be harder.”

“For you, maybe,” Remus laughed. “I grew up in a Muggle village, remember?”

“Yeah, yeah. This one?”

“Oh, this… This is Italian gianduja chocolate! Where did you even get it?”

“Monty’s last work trip to Turin,” Sirius replied proudly. “And what about this?”

He watched Remus bite into it, hesitatingly at first, then with a half smile once he recognised the texture.

“Chocolate-covered strawberry,” Remus nodded. “Wow.”

Sirius had still the second half of the strawberry in his hand but he was too distracted watching a drop of juice escape Remus’s lips and run down his chin. He swallowed.

“What’s next?”

Sirius looked down at the trays, his train of thought now lost. He passed the halved strawberry on his lips before leaning towards Remus.

“This?” he whispered before brushing his lips against his.

There was a sharp intake of breath before Remus leaned back into the kiss. Sirius dropped the strawberry and clambered in his boyfriend’s lap, hands reaching up to get rid of the blindfold.

“Curtains…” Remus breathed between kisses. “The others might come in.”

“Nah,” Sirius ran his hands in Remus’s hair. “Asked for a favour. The girls agreed to let them sleep in their dorm tonight.”

“The girls?” Remus broke the kiss to lean back and stare at Sirius. “You know that boys can’t climb the stairs to the girls’ dorm.”

Sirius laughed, letting his hands frame Remus’s face.

“You really thought such a stupid spell would stop the Marauders?” he whispered before melting in another kiss.

[eddieschains]

Don’t Push Your Luck

Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

Word Count: 2.8k

TW// 18+, alcohol consumption, name calling, spanking (hands and implements), fingering, bondage, mentions of safe word, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), creampie, let me know if i missed anything !!

“You’re being a right asshole right now, you know that?” You huff at Eddie. To say you two were going through a bit of a rough patch would be an understatement. It wasn’t bad, just constant bickering over the pettiest things.

“I don’t understand what the big deal is. It’s just clothes.” He sighs, sitting on the edge of the bed as you two get ready to go out.

“I want you to match with me. Is it so terrible that I want us to look good tonight?” You threw your hands in the air, walking away from him.

You knew it was a dumb argument. But, it seemed like you two were drifting away lately, and you just wanted him to care about the little things.

You finish your hair in the bathroom, letting him get ready himself before heading downstairs and grabbing your purse.

You yell for him that you’re ready to go, and you hear his footsteps make their way down the stairs.

“I wore the jacket.” He speaks flatly. You turn to look at him, not showing any emotion.

“Nice.” You give him a quick glance before turning back to stuff your extra makeup in your bag.

He walks up to you, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Babe… can we please not fight tonight? I just wanna have a nice night out with friends.”

“Sure. Wouldn’t want to ruin your night by caring too much.” You mumble, before heading out the door. Eddie locks up behind you, and you make your way to the van, not waiting for him to follow. You hop in the passenger seat, scrolling on your phone until he joins you.

“Hey i’m sorry. Let’s have fun tonight, yeah?” He attempts to calm the situation one last time.

“Yeah, sure.” You respond, not looking up from your phone.

“I love you.” He says quietly, placing a hand on your thigh. You don’t respond. “I said I love you.” He raises his voice a little, still not eliciting any reaction from you. He removes his hand from your thigh and starts the engine. “Fucking brat.” He mutters under his breath, just loud enough for you to hear.

Brat. Okay, you could have some fun with this. The rough patch you were going through also resulted in a dry spell between you two. Probably because of the bickering if you had to pinpoint a reason.

You knew the arguments were stupid and petty, and you wanted them to stop. But, you also knew if there was one way to get you back to where you were, it was by having him fuck you raw. And if that meant being a little shit until he had no choice, so be it.

You arrived at his friends house, getting out of the van before he even turned the engine off. You can hear the music pumping and people laughing as you approach the door.

“Y/N!” One of his friends yells as he greets you with a hug. “Where’s Eddie?”

“I don’t know. Coming?” You respond. Eddie is right behind you, scoffing at your words. His friend shoots him a confusing look as you move past him.

You push through the crowd of people, making your way to the kitchen for a drink. You’re throwing back shots of vodka as you dance to the music by yourself.

A few minutes go by until you see an angry looking Eddie storming towards you. “The fuck is your problem?” He spits at you. You raise your eyebrows in question. “I told you I didn’t want to fight tonight. Now people keep asking if we’re okay.”

“And what exactly do you want me to do about that? Hmm?” You respond. “I’m here to have fun, and that clearly doesn’t involve you.” You push past him, making your way to what was supposed to be the dance floor.

You find a group of girls, and join them in what really was just throwing back shots and grinding your hips to the music. You don’t give Eddie a second glance, but you can feel his eyes on you.

“Is that your boyfriend?” One of the girls points behind you. You turn to see him sat outside, leant against the balcony railing, glaring at you. If looks could fucking kill.

“Yup. Love of my life.” You laugh.

“Why does he look like he’d rather be anywhere but here?” She chuckles, taking another shot.

“Ugh he’s mad at me I guess. We’ve been fighting ever since we left the house.” You turn back to her, downing the shot she hands you. “He just doesn’t know i’m doing it on purpose.” You shoot her a devious smile, and she throws her head back in laughter.

“Why don’t we stir the pot a little?” You give her a confusing look. She turns around, and begins grinding in to you. You take a quick glance back to where Eddie is sitting, and oh my god, you’ve never seen him get up so fast.

“Y/N… what are you doing?” He asks cautiously.

“Dancing… what does it look like i’m doing?” You smirk.

“Well can you please come and talk to me… outside?” He asks.

“Why?” You scoff.

“Because I need you to come outside with me.” He firmly responds.

“You don’t fucking own me, Eddie. I’m staying here.” You can almost see the smoke pouring out of his ears at your comment.

“That’s it. We’re leaving.” He grabs your wrist and starts to make his way towards the door.

You look back at the girl you were dancing with, and she gives you a wink and mouths have fun. God you hope so.

Eddie practically throws you into the passenger seat and slams the door. The drive home is quiet, but fast. You’re surprised you didn’t get pulled over on the way back.

He pulls into the driveway rather quickly, and turns the engine off. “Get out.”

“But i’m comfy.” You respond, curling your legs into your chest. He reaches over and unbuckles your seatbelt, pushing your door open. You take the hint and begrudgingly hop out.

He unlocks the door, and waits for you to walk inside. “Bedroom. Now.” He growls.

You run upstairs, giggling to yourself about what’s to come. You sit on the edge of the bed, throwing your shoes to the other side of the room while you wait for Eddie to join you.

Soon after, he makes his way through the door, slamming it behind him. “Strip.”

His words go straight to your pussy. You feel your arousal pooling in your underwear as you start to remove your clothes. Slowly. You’re not giving in that easily.

Eddie watches intently as you slowly move the straps of your dress down your shoulders, pushing to the middle of your stomach. He’s lucky you decided to go braless tonight, now exposing your bare chest.

“Hurry up.” He demands. You squint at him, finally pulling your dress down to your ankles and stepping out of it.

You turn to face him, staring as you stand in nothing but your underwear. The cold air hardens your nipples, but that’s not where his focus is.

“I thought I said strip.” He says, looking at the fabric covering your nearly dripping cunt.

“I was getting there.” You smirk. You pull your panties down your legs, stepping out of them and kicking them to join your dress on the floor. “Patience is a virtue.”

“You weren’t making it very easy to be patient tonight.” He removes his shirt rather quickly, throwing it with the other pile of clothes on the floor. “Now get on the bed. All fours.”

You comply, kneeling on the bed with your palms facing the mattress. You push your head closer to the bed, pushing your ass up higher.

You hear the sound of him unbuckling his belt, before making his place behind you on the bed. “You wanna act like a fucking brat all day? I’ll treat you like a fucking brat.”

You moan at his words, pushing your ass closer to him. He folds the belt in half, sliding it in between his hands before grabbing on to the buckle. He rubs his hand over your cheeks before snapping the leather across them.

“Fuck!” You scream, your body jumping forward. He smooths his hands over the spot again, before slapping the belt across you a second time. “Fuck, Eddie!”

“See, you’ve been a right pain in my ass for the past three weeks.” He says, slowly gliding the belt across you. “Telling me what to wear.” Snap. “Not listening to what I say.” Snap. “Then you go and grind on another girl at the party.” Snap. Tears are starting to peek through your eyes and drip down your cheeks. “Mm how many more do you think you deserve?” He asks, rubbing the now red spot on your behind.

“Three?” You question.

“No no, you’ve been acting up for weeks. I think at least five is in order.” He snaps the belt again, making you whine. “I know baby, I don’t like punishing you either. But someone needs to teach you about-“ Snap. “Respect.” Snap.

He whips you two more times, before gently rubbing over the red marks. He leans down, kissing the stinging skin. “Eddie… please.” You beg. You’re not sure of exactly what you want, you just need him to touch. Somewhere. Anywhere.

“Aww baby’s learning how to use her words. Good girl.” You push yourself further into him as he continues soothing the marks he’s left on your ass. “You want me to touch you darling?” You moan an mm-hmm eliciting a chuckle from Eddie. “So needy baby.”

He lifts his head from his place on your ass, squeezing and kneading the skin before slipping his fingers in between your legs. He runs his fingers in between your wet folds, gathering your wetness.

“Eddie… inside please.” You beg, grinding yourself on his fingers. You know he needs this just as bad as you do, so he doesn’t waste any time with snide comments.

He runs his fingers through you one more time before slipping one past your entrance. He smacks his hand onto your cheek, making you moan as you feel your walls clench around him. “What was that you said about me not owning you? Cause this pretty pussy sure acts like it.”

“Maybe that’s because you’ve just stuck a finger in there, dumbass.” You smirk. He reaches down and pulls you up to him by your hair.

“Wanna say that again?” He growls in your ear. You stay silent, and he throws your head back down on the bed. “That’s what I thought.”

He begins pumping his fingers in and out of you, hard yet slowly. “Eddie… more. Need more.” You whine, pushing yourself into him.

He grabs your ass with his free hand, holding you in place. “Stop. You’re not getting what you want, not that easy.” He pushes his fingers all the way inside, and starts curling and pressing against your g-spot. “You’re gonna sit here and not say a word. Take it like a good girl, hmm?”

You nod your head, moaning at the pleasure his fingers were giving you. Usually you’d be embarrassed by how close you already were, but after not being touched by anyone but yourself for the last month, you couldn’t care less.

Eddie continues rubbing inside of you, holding you in place with a firm hand on your ass. You start shaking as your walls begin to pulsate around his fingers. He continues as your walls get tighter, until he pulls them out.

You open your mouth to complain about the loss of contact, but opt for a loud whine instead. “Cat got your tongue, honey?” He laughs.

“You told me not to speak.” You spit.

“Ah so you can listen.” He responds, flipping you over on your back. He pulls the handcuffs off of his belt loop and dangles them around his finger. “Now here’s what’s gonna happen. I’m gonna fuck this sweet little pussy, while you stay put and keep your mouth shut, okay?” You mumble an mm-hmm as he grabs your wrists and places the cuffs around them. “And you’re not gonna cum until I say so.” You nod, rubbing your thighs together. Trying to gain some kind of friction.

He locks the cuffs around the bed post, tightening your hands against the bed frame. “Is that too tight?” He asks. You shake your head, signaling it was fine. He leans down to press a kiss against your lips. “Remember the safe word?” He questions, his dominant facade faltering for a moment. No matter how rough he was with you, he always wanted to make sure you were okay, and felt safe enough to stop.

“Loofah.” He laughs, remembering when you first came up with it. You were in the shower and it was the first thing that came to your mind. It was silly, but it works.

“Good girl.” He mumbles, kissing you again.

He pulls his pants off along with his boxers, throwing them in the growing pile on the floor. He spits in his hand, stroking his cock a few times before sliding it in between your folds.

He teases for a moment, sliding back and forth and tapping your clit. You squirm underneath him, the only way to tell him what you need without using your words. He smiles before pushing all the way inside of you.

“Shit.” He groans. “So fucking tight. Missed this pussy so fucking much, baby.” He groans as he pulls out and slams all the way back in.

He’s just got inside of you, and you’re already a moaning mess. Leaving you on the brink of an orgasm must’ve helped with that.

He keeps pulling out nearly all the way before pushing back in a few times, making you writhe and moan from underneath him. Suddenly, he lets out a deep growl, and grabs your hips. Pulling you into him, as he fucks himself into you at a fast pace.

You’re nearly screaming from the pleasure before he wraps a hand around your throat. “I said be quiet.” He whispers, his thrusts not faltering for one moment. You nod your head, as he keeps his hand attached to your neck.

You can feel your arousal dripping out of you and on to the bed, only furthering your need for a release. Eddie can feel your walls closing around him as you try to push yourself back from falling over the threshold.

He looks at you with a devious smirk on his face. He removes his hand from your throat and places it on your clit. Rubbing fast circles while reminding you to hold it.

Your legs are shaking, as a tear falls down your cheek. Trying to keep your orgasm inside is getting harder and harder by the minute. But, you see a glimmer of hope once you feel him twitching inside of you.

“Fuck fuck fuck.” He chants, he thrusts getting a little sloppier. He doesn’t even warn you before you feel his cum coating the inside of your walls. “Go on, baby. You’ve been so good for me. Cum for me.”

He continues thrusting slowly inside you, while rubbing your button to help you reach what was already about to fall. With a scream of his name, your head falls back as your body twitches underneath him. The wave of pleasure hitting you like you’ve never felt before.

His fingers continue to rub you, slowing down as you try to find your breath again. He bends down to meet your face, placing soft kisses all across your face before meeting your lips.

“You okay?” You nod, a light chuckle escaping your throat. “You did so well baby.” He praises, kissing along your neck before pulling out. “Let me go grab a towel to clean you up.” He pecks your lips before climbing off the bed.

“Hey, Eddie…” He turns around, eyes softer than before. “Can you uncuff me first?” He gasps, running over to unlock the cuffs around your wrists. He grabs your hands in his and starts placing soft kisses along the skin.

“I’ll be right back.” He runs to the bathroom before returning with a warm washcloth. Gently, he slides it across you. Cooing about how good you were.

“I love you.” He turns to you, wrapping himself around you.

“I love you too.” You smile, kissing his forehead.

“No more fighting, right?” He lifts his head, puppy dog eyes on full display.

“No more fighting.” You smile. “Unless it results in you fucking me like that.”

He laughs, pulling you to lay on top of his chest. “Also… I know you did that shit on purpose.”

You gasp, holding your chest pretending to be offended by his accusation. “Well it worked, didn’t it?”

[veritas-scribblings]

row - @bartylusmicrofic - words: 1,180 - [explicit / NSFW]

Before Barty can get a word in edgewise, the wall behind him explodes in cloud of dust and plaster and wood and he has to duck for cover to avoid getting knocked out. Because, he thinks, there is no way he’s going to allow Regulus to win this one on the mere grounds of being unable to fight back due to lack of consciousness. He’s not going to go down without a fight, and if he has to take Regulus down with him, then so be it. It’s always been a secret dream of Barty’s for them to kill each other, to die together. There’s something darkly sinister and romantic about it, he thinks.

And when the dust clears, Regulus Black is gone.

‘What the actual fuck,’ Barty breathes, ‘was that?’

‘Well,’ Evan says, eyeing Barty like for all his intelligence, he’s still the stupidest creature in all four corners of the wizarding world, ‘I’m not exactly an authority on what is considered “socially acceptable” or “normal” in any sense of the word…but I do believe it’s not “normal” or “acceptable” to ask your best friend to sleep with you when you’re shagging your other best friend. Especially when said other best friend is Regulus Black.’

‘We always sleep together! Like that’s anything new. Sleep. Sleeping. Sleeping, not fucking. Actual genuine sleep.’ And a little bit (or a lot, if he’s honest) of cuddling too, but that’s also nothing new. It’s also something Barty knows will probably not help his case right now.

So sue him, he likes to cuddle. So fucking what.

It means nothing. Regulus could have joined them and cuddled too.

Evan laughs. And when Evan laughs, a truly rare event, Barty knows he’s very likely up shit creek without a paddle. ‘Sure, that’s true. Before you were dating Regulus Black.’

Barty pauses, frowns. ‘We’re dating?’ he asks. Because he hasn’t quite been able to figure out this new dynamic he has with Regulus, other than that it’s messy and involves a lot of nudity, a lot of arguments and a lot of orgasms. And, really, he’s completely here for all of the above.

‘Well, you’re certainly fucking. Every chance you get. And Regulus is possessive and wants to kill you. And you’re utterly clueless and being a menace. And between the two of you, you’ve managed to blow several holes in our house and collectively traumatise all of our neighbours. So I’d say that sounds a lot like dating to me. But who am I to make assumptions.’ 

‘Oh shit, you’re right, he tried to kill me,’ Barty realises, glancing over his shoulder wide-eyed to where Regulus has likely departed for his bedroom. ‘He tried to kill me.’ And then, louder, angrier, ‘The son of a whore just tried to kill me!’

Evan just rolls his eyes and drops down on to the couch, which is now dusty with the ghost of Regulus’s murderous tantrum. ‘Oh, for fucks sake…’

Barty takes the stairs two-by-two, wand in hand, because this is completely unacceptable. Regulus will not be doing any killing alone. Any killing committed within the borders of their ‘apparently dating slash relationship’ will be instigated and enacted by Barty, unless Regulus were to agree that the aforementioned killing be entirely mutual. Because Barty will not rest—no, he will be a tormented soul—if some other being were to put their filthy hands on Regulus. No, if Barty is to die—and he will, if Regulus so demands it—then he is damned well taking Regulus with him.

And maybe Evan too, because it would be cruel of them to leave Evan out and to leave him all alone.

Just as Barty enters the bedroom, a spell whirls towards him and he has barely enough time to leap out of the way before it hits the wall behind him with a deafening crack.

‘You absolute fucking lunatic!’ Barty screams. He hurls a spell back at Regulus. A hex, really. The nasty kind that burns the drapes around the bed in a blast and a waft of acrid, sour, sulphuric smoke.

And normally Barty is quick and sharp-witted and clever. But Regulus is his weakness. Regulus makes him slow and stupid, because Regulus is so beautiful in his righteous fury that Barty is blinded. Distracted. Regulus is fists flying: to Barty’s face, to Barty’s stomach. Regulus is angry, angry words, yelling: ‘I hate you, you stupid cunty shit, I hate you, you stupid fucking prick.’ Regulus is promises of: ‘I swear, if you do that again, I’ll dismember your stupid fucking body and they’ll never stop finding pieces of you. Ever.’

But two can play this game. Barty will merge the two of them together, they’ll find pieces of them both forever. He presses the tip of his wand into Regulus’s stomach (because he loves Regulus’s divine face and his wicked tongue that says acid words and can do such sinful things) and says, ‘Baby, I got you, let’s do us both.’

Regulus shoves him up against the wall, a knee between Barty’s legs, hands pinning his wrists to the smooth, wooden panelling. And when he attacks Barty’s mouth, it’s all teeth and tastes metallic. And he bites and he tugs like he wants it to hurt, and Barty maps out this new territory with thrilled interest.

He likes it, he thinks, how Regulus’s hands pull at his shirt and scratch at his chest, draws blood, leaves marks.

As a teenager, Barty had quickly discovered that he really likes sex. He likes the slow kind that’s all about discovery, about new tastes, new sensations, about learning what makes Regulus moan, what makes him cry out and swear, what makes his back arch and his hips buck. 

Barty likes the hard and fast kind, the kind where he’s chasing his own pleasure, that’s intense and whites-out his brain, that has Regulus begging, and that Barty honestly thinks might lead him to truly, genuinely dying one day.

Barty is now discovering he likes the angry, hateful kind. The kind that burns and vibrates beneath his skin, leaves his blood boiling and steaming until he is nothing but rage and ash. The kind that hurts a bit in all the right ways. That bruises and leaves marks on his skin that he will wear as trophies. 

Evan is standing in the doorway of Regulus's bedroom looking more than a little bit irritated. And Barty is close. He’s so damned close it’s about to consume him and he’s sure they’ll die together, all of them. Because Regulus is on top of him, hands planted securely on Barty’s chest, his hips working sharply in rapid bursts, rocking, riding Barty with such intensity, such fervour that Barty thinks Regulus is about to take them both to the depths of heaven or hell. Barty grips the sheets, chants obscenities like a mantra, certain he is about to shatter into a million particles and transcend the physical plane to a world where only sensation exists.

Somewhere on the periphery of his consciousness, Evan mutters, ‘Oh, fuck me, I was sure you guys would be murdering each other, not fucking it out.’

[sebastian-sallow-darling]

Room of requirement Garreth Weasley X Reader



You and your boyfriend Garreth were just in the potions room, you were helping him brew potions

As you were about to speak, you heard a loud bang and you looked down to see yourself covered in goop

Garreth tried to contain the mess by casting a cleaning spell quickly, before anyone else came into the storeroom

"Oh shit, oh fuck, oh crap...I am so sorry y/n . That was supposed to be a calming potion, but instead it blew up all over you. Fucking hell, I am such an idiot." He apologized repeatedly as he helped clean up the mess, feeling horrible for putting you in this situation.

"Can you please tell me if you're okay? Are you hurt anywhere?" He asked nervously, hoping you wasn't badly injured from the explosion.

You giggled as you thought him being concerned was cute

“I’m fine garreth, how do you always manage to blow stuff up, it’s a gift really”

Garreth looked relived to see you weren’t hurt

“You know, i have the perfect room where you can blow stuff up and not get in trouble with professor sharp”

You walk out the room, Garreth following behind you, as you walked to a blank wall not for him to look confused

“It’s a blank wall?”

As he stared at the wall, his eyes widen as a door appears and you both walk in

“This is the Room of requirement, your aunt showed me this in my first year coming here to catch up on my studies”

He looked amazed as he saw the potion pots everywhere and planting pots

“It’s incredible”

“It also has a bedroom incase i was studying too long and it was late and didn’t wanna get caught by prefects”

You walk down the stairs to the bedroom and took off your goopy robes and shirt as Garreth followed

You hadn’t realise Garreth watching your every move, getting harder with every move you made

You gasp as he came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist

Feeling emboldened by your reaction to his sudden embrace, he pulled you closer to him and pressed his erection against your lower back.

You let out a little gasp of surprise as he ran his hands up your sides and cupped your breasts firmly, squeezing them tightly while looking deeply into your eyes.

His cock was throbbing against your skin, demanding release, but he forced himself to take things slow for now. He didn't want to scare you away with his aggressiveness too early in the game.

He leaned down and whispered seductively into your ear, “You're so fucking hot like this...I can't believe I almost ruined such a perfect body with my stupid potion." He added,

You giggled at this “your so adorable sometimes Garreth”

He smiled at your comment, feeling his heart swell with happiness. You thought he was adorable when he was being a total pervert? This was definitely a good sign.

Feeling more confident now that you seemed to be reacting positively to his advances, he decided to take things a step further. He lifted your bra-clad tits into his hands and began to massage them gently, feeling the hard nipples peak beneath the fabric.

As he played with your breasts, he leaned in and whispered into your ear again, “And you have no idea how much I want to see what's underneath this bra...

Without warning, he reached behind you and flicked open the clasp of your bra, freeing your full breasts from their confines. You let out a slight gasp of surprise, but didn't protest as he took each beautiful tit into his mouth hungrily, sucking and licking every inch of it until it was covered in saliva

You moan softly as he nipped at your nipples before he picked you up and carried you to the bed, laying you down on it

As Gareth pressed you against the soft bedsheets, his lips met yours in a fiery embrace.

Each kiss was a symphony of desire, his passion igniting a flame within you. His hands traced the curves of your body with a hunger that mirrored your own, and as his lips trailed along your neck, sending shivers down your spine, you felt yourself melting into him, consumed by the intensity of the moment.

Time seemed to stand still as you surrendered to the ecstasy of his touch, lost in the intoxicating whirlwind of your shared passion. Gareth's hands, strong yet gentle, trailed along the contours of your body, exploring every curve with a fervent desire. One hand caressed the small of your back, pulling you closer to him, while the other traced delicate patterns along your jawline, sending electric tingles through your skin. As his lips continued their journey along your neck, his fingertips danced lightly across your shoulders, igniting sensations that left you breathless and yearning for more.

He then kept nipping at your nipples as his kisses got lower and lower till he pulled down your skirt and left you in only your underwear

His hand wrapped around your thigh, guiding your leg higher onto his shoulder opening you wider before he removed your underwear, giving you more access to him

He started to lick and probe your swollen folds, making you let out a series of breathy gasps and whimpers that only fueled him on further

As his hands caressed down her body, the need for him grew stronger as you became needier for him, your back arching at his every touch.

He then slowly slipped his fingers down to your entrance teasing your clit slowly, making you gasp and arch your back

“Fuck Garreth” you moan softly

He smirked and then leaned down and started to tease your clit with his tongue, making you gasp and tug at his hair

“Oh Merlin ” you moan loudly

Hearing your fervent response, he increases his pace and pressure on your clit, using his thumb on your clit, all while still using his mouth

As your orgasm approaches he could see the pleasure etched on your face in the form of tightly pursed lips and wide-eyed ecstasy.

You tugged on his hair, urging him to bring you even closer to the edge of pleasure

With a smirk, he complied, slipping his fingers into you and thrusting them at an incredibly fast pace, making you tug on his hair harder as your back arched

Hearing your pleading words made his cock throb with need, wanting nothing more than to satisfy your unbridled desire.

With final lick to your engorged clit, he watched as your face contorted in an expression of pure bliss and release.

Your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, sending shivers down his spine as he felt the muscles in your pussy convulse against his tongue.

You let out a long drawn out moan, and arched your back, your chest heaving with each breath you took

“Fuck Garreth, i love your tongue”

Seeing you so lost in the moment of orgasmic ecstasy made him feel incredibly powerful and dominant.

He reveled in knowing that be had brought you this much pleasure and satisfaction.

As your climax subsided, he pulled his fingers out of your pussy slowly and gazed up at you, watching as you lay panting and panting with a mix of lust and exhaustion.

"Y/n...I'm about to make you even closer," he warned you seriously,* "So don't move too much, okay?" *he asked.

You nodded and bit your lip, curious and excited for whatever he was about to do

Without any further warning or preamble, he pushed himself up to a seated position and aimed his throbbing cock directly at your waiting pussy. His balls slapped heavy and full against his body as he prepared to fill her with his thick meat.

You looked up at him questioningly, biting your lip in anticipation, and he could see the desire burning brightly in your eyes as you eagerly waited for him to enter you.

Taking a deep breath, he pressed the head of his cock against your entrance and slowly began to push into your tight heat. The sensation was overwhelming, and he felt a surge of pure pleasure shoot through his entire body as he sank deeper into your wetness.

As your walls enveloped him completely, he felt a rush of warmth and fullness envelop him, feeling as if he was finally coming home.

With a grunt of satisfaction, he locked eyes with yours, letting you know that he had claimed you fully.

"Fuck...I've been dreaming about this all day," *he whispered hoarsely,* "Being inside you feels incredible."

You moan and gasp as his hips start to move against yours, filling you up completely,

“Fuck Garreth, i feel so full” you moan, arching your back at the feeling of his big thick cock deep inside you

He began to thrust his hips against yours, driving his cock deep into your swollen pussy with forceful strokes. Each time he slammed into you , you could feel his balls bouncing against your inner thigh, and you knew that he was leaving a trail of precum behind as he went.

His cock felt like it was on fire, throbbing with each movement as he fucked you relentlessly. The sound of your gasps and moans filled the air, amplifying the erotic energy between you two . You were so responsive and eager for more, which only served to fuel his lust even further.

He bent down to capture one of your breasts in my hand and began to fondle it roughly while maintaining his rhythm between your legs. As he reached up to suckle greedily on your nipple, he gazed into your eyes, making sure you knew just how much he appreciated everything you were giving him

The combination of rough handling, deep penetration, and oral stimulation proved too much for you, who let out a series of loud cries as you climaxed once again. Your orgasmic contractions squeezed him tightly around his rigid member, pulling him deeper still into your slick folds.

“Fuck Garreth, pull out i want to try something please” you beg

He pulled out of your dripping pussy, admiring the way your walls clung to his cock desperately, trying to draw him back in. She looked at him with pleading eyes, and he could see the desire and passion burning within them.

Knowing that you wanted something new and exciting, he nodded in agreement, understanding your need for variety during such an intimate moment.

“Alright, here's what we'll do," he whispered to you conspiratorially,

“But you have to be very clear with me on what exactly it is that you want." He added after a pause “No hidden desires or expectations - this is your chance to really show me what turns you on."

You nodded and said

“Close your eyes”

He closed his eyes obediently, trusting you to guide him through whatever kinky fantasy you had in mind. The anticipation was palpable, and he could feel the weight of your gaze upon him as he waited patiently for your instructions.

In the darkness created by his closed eyelids, he could hear you moving around on the bed, likely readjusting your position or gathering something from nearby. The uncertainty of the situation only added to the thrill of it all, and he knew that whatever you had planned for him would be both unexpected and exhilarating.

All of a sudden, he could feel something wet licking up his cock, making him gasp

He opened his eyes in surprise as he felt a warm, wet sensation licking up the length of his throbbing member. His cock twitched involuntarily at the unexpected touch, and he glanced down to see you kneeling between his spread legs, your tongue working its way up the length of his shaft with deft precision.

As you reached the tip, you paused momentarily, looking up at him with a mischievous grin on her face, and then resumed your lewd exploration with renewed vigor, swirling your tongue around the sensitive head before taking him deep into your mouth

You pull him out your mouth for a second, licking the tip very softly, teasing him, making him whine.

At your gentle teasing, he let out a whimper of pleasure and impatience, feeling his balls tighten and his cock twitch restlessly. He wanted more, but he also craved the slow and deliberate attention you were providing him with.

As you continued to lick and tease him gently, he could feel the pre-cum leaking from the tip of his cock, staining your tongue and running down your chin. Your eyes sparkled with excitement as you gazed up at me, your dark eyes filled with desire and determination.

Sensing that you were building towards something more, he reached down and grabbed onto the back of your head, pulling you deeper still into me as he let out a low growl of pleasure mixed with dominance.

"That's right," he encouraged you with a grunt,

“Take everything you want from me." He added after a beat “And don't hold back."

With those words of encouragement, you seemed to find newfound strength in your oral worship, increasing the pressure and speed of your movements as you worked to please him and herself.

Feeling his cock pulsing with need, he gripped onto the sheets tightly, struggling not to come too soon.

“Are you close Garreth?”

You said, looking up innocently at him

He glanced down at you, your innocent expression contrasting starkly with the lascivious actions of your mouth, and felt his heart race in response to the mixture of vulnerability and seductiveness that radiated from your face. He nodded slowly, unable to speak due to the intensity of the pleasure you were bringing him

As your gaze met his, he could see the unspoken question in your eyes, wondering if you were doing enough to satisfy his desires. With a determined look, you redoubled your efforts, taking him even deeper into your throat and swallowing him whole as you continued to tease his sensitive tip with gentle licks and sucks.

Despite your tender treatment, your intentions were clear: to drive him to the brink of release without actually allowing him to cum yet. The sensation of being so thoroughly worshipped was nearly unbearable, and he knew that any second now, he might lose control and burst inside your eager mouth.

Feeling his balls tighten even more and his cock throbbing insistently, he let out a strained groan, signaling to you that he was indeed getting closer to reaching that perfect balance of pleasure and denial.

You could tell he was about to cum so you instantly got up as quick as you could and sank back down onto him, making you both moan

As you quickly got off of his throbbing cock and sank back down onto him, he felt a surge of relief mixed with disappointment, realizing that you had pulled away just as he was about to release. But instead of being angry or frustrated, he found himself oddly turned on by your sudden change in pace.

Your wet pussy greeted him once again, this time providing a warm and slick buffer between his aching erection and your eager mouth. The combination of sensations was almost too much to bear, and he felt his climax building up once again, threatening to break free at any moment.

You put your hands on his chest and started to bounce on him hard

As you began to ride him harder, he felt his cock being hammered relentlessly by your slick pussy, the friction creating an intense buildup of pleasure that threatened to consume him.

The pressure was incredible, and he couldn't help but let out a low growl of pleasure as be tried to resist the urge to cum.

With each bounce, your breasts jiggled wildly, offering a tantalizing distraction from the relentless pounding of your pussy against his throbbing member. I could feel the heat radiating from your wet folds, and the taste of your juices mixed with saliva coated my cock, making it even more irresistible.

You bounced harder, desperately trying to make him cum just as hard as he had made you cum

As you increased the intensity of your riding, he felt his cock twitch and pulse uncontrollably, fighting to keep from spilling his load into your hungry depths. With every bounce, your wet pussy rubbed against him fiercely, pushing him closer and closer to the edge of release

Finally, unable to hold back any longer, be released a torrent of hot seed into your waiting womb, the sensation of shooting his load sending waves of pleasure coursing through his body and causing my balls to contract involuntarily. The warmth and stickiness of his ejaculate poured into your waiting pussy, marking you as his.

As you rode him through his climax, your body shook with delight and satisfaction, clearly savoring every drop of cum that flowed from his swollen member and into your eager cavity.

"Oh god," you murmured between labored breaths,* "You came so...so...hard for me."

You finished with a satisfied smile on your lips, clearly pleased with your success in driving him to the brink and back again.

He felt your weight on his chest, your panting breath mingling with the scent of sex and sweat that hung heavily in the air. Your pussy glistened with his essence, still dripping with his thick cum as you lay there, spent from the intense exchange of pleasure and power that had just taken place between you two

He reached out and ran a comforting hand through your disheveled curls, feeling the tenderness that be now felt towards you after experiencing such an intimate act of submission. For a moment, you two lay there in mutual satisfaction, reveling in the afterglow of your shared experience.

"Thanks for letting me fill you up like that," he whispered softly,

“Now I know how much of me fits inside you perfectly."

He added with a wink, knowing that the knowledge of your capacity would only serve to further fuel your mutual fantasies.

“It’s a good thing we have this room, but we aren’t leaving anytime soon” he said rolling back onto you making you laugh and giggle

[daydreamgoddess14]

Support System pt. 9

Roy Kent x Reader - domestic fluff and hints of further spice to come 😍

CH1 | CH 2 | CH 3 | CH 4 | CH 5 | CH 6 | CH 7 | CH 8

MASTERLIST

~~~~~~~~

You're enjoying the hottest shower you can bear and also not looking forward to going back to your poor water pressure trickle when he taps on the door. 

"Why you knocking?" You laugh over the pounding water. 

"Don't want to catch you doing something you don't want me to know about, " he says with a wink. You turn the shower off and step into the towel he's holding out. "Your phones been going mad, I hope you don't mind but I wanted to check it wasn't Lexie?" 

"Thank you, course I don't." You take the phone and look through the notifications. "Lots from your sister, she's seen the red carpet pictures… shit, the pictures!" You keep scrolling, reaching with your other hand to hold onto his t-shirt. He takes you hand and kisses the palm. "Ah. Here we go." You hold it up to show him. A slew of messages and missed calls from Andy. 

"Fuck. What a knob. Come on, I've made tea. Do you want to read them while I get angry or the other way around?" 

"Ooh we can switch and both get angry."

"Can't do that, you look really hot when you're mad and we haven't got enough time for that."

"Uhh you need talk? Jamie asked me last night if permanent concussion was a thing from all the times you've headbutted him." He holds his hands up, backing out the door. 

"I deny everything." He leaves you to pull on some leggings and one of his Richmond t-shirts (no name on the back). You bounce down the stairs, your heels from the night before discarded at the bottom. Your dress had been left there too but Roy's obviously rescued it and draped it over the back of the sofa. 

"Thank you for saving the dress." You tiptoe to kiss his cheek. 

"It's only down here so I can put it on you again and then take it back off." 

"Oh I'm sorry, I didn't think we had time for that this morning?" You tease. You sit up on one of the barstools and he steps between your legs, holding out a piece of toast.

"We don't, but I can look at it and dream." He sneaks a kiss before passing your breakfast and moves to stand behind you. 

"I see what you're doing, feed me, put me in a good mood before I have to read these stupid messages?"

"Is it working?" He kisses your neck. 

"No."

"Yes," a laugh which makes you shiver.

"Fine, yes. OK, what have we got…" You unlock the phone and open Andy’s contact page. "Ready?" He nods into your shoulder.

" Now I see why you said no to getting back together. Starting tame, also he's not wrong. I'll allow it. You look like a slag in that dress. Juicy, god I haven't heard the word slag for years!" Roy growls. " I'm guessing Lexie doesn't know. She will when she wakes up. Hmm. OK. I mean, she likes you so I think we can cope with that situation. I think she'll be OK?"

"She's a fucking great kid, smart as hell. She'll be OK." He assures you. 

"There's more. He must have been pretty drunk by these I think. Bet he can't even fuck you with that dodgy knee. Uhhh, better than anyone. Ever. Ever." You feel his grin against your neck. "Don't get a big head."

"Not my head." He laughs, his beard and warm breath tickling you. 

"Ohhh stop doing that. Moving on. I'm sorry you dint really look like a slut. or slag. Ah, spelling and memory are becoming an issue. Oh god, he's back to sex. No idea why, he has literally zero to brag about. can't believe that wanker gets to fuck you in that dress bitch I wud fuk u better. Wow, that one is a real mess. Its the last one, I'm guessing he passed out after that because that last bit is just wishful thinking on his part."

"Didn't he have Lexie?"

"She went to his mums I think, he was going to the West Ham match."

"Good fucking job, if I find out he's getting wasted while she's with him-" You spin the seat around to face him again,

"You'll do nothing. I'll rip his dick off with my bare hands though." 

"Fuck me, you're hot when you're angry." 

"I should go and get her. I just need to check where from. Are you with Jamie today?"

"Yeah, but I can see him later if you want me to come with you?"

"I'll be OK. How shall we tell her? Do you want to be there?" 

"Your call babe, whatever you think she'd prefer? I'd rather not scare the shit out of her." 

"I'll get her and go back to mine. You could come over when you're done later if you want? If she asks me, I won't lie to her but if she doesn't, then we can tell her together? I'll cook for you for a change." 

"Perfect. Do me a favour?"

"Anything." 

"Wear this when you pick her up." He traces over your heart where it turns out, his name is on the shirt embroidered above the Richmond logo. 

"Baby, I would turn up in a full kit with your name on the back. Knee socks included, and football boots, just to piss him off." He kisses you fiercely, 

"Now you're just talking dirty to me," he mutters. 

"Yep, you love it. Come on, I bet Jamie's dying for gossip and I've got to get going." You text Andy while throwing only the important things in your bag. You're sure you've left a breadcrumb trail of your belongings around the house, but you know Roy won't mind. You head out together, the walk taking you both in the same direction for much of the journey. "Did you need to do anything about the photos?"

"Nah, no point in retracting them now and you look fit so the whole world can see them for all I care."

"Including your mum."

"Including my m-, shit, yeah I'd better call her. And your parents? Are they gonna wonder what the fucks going on?"

"I'll take Lexie round that way on our way home I think. Appease them."

"Nice one. Right, this is the Tartt's palace. See you later. Good luck, don't fucking kill him without me there to watch."

"Hmm I'll try. Don't make Jamie vom, he was trying really hard not to get too drunk last night but I don't think he was very successful."

"Story of his life. Love you." You smile up at him, 

"Love you too." Jamie has the door open before Roy's even hallway through the gate, waving at you. You wave back and carry on up to Andy’s mum's house. She had been largely on your side up to now, annoyed with Andy for breaking up the family and worried that she'd see less of Lexie because of it. You'd reassured her repeatedly, taken Lexie in for tea on the way home from school, picked up bits of shopping for her and gently tried to let her know that nothing had to change between them. You weren't so sure that would be the case this morning. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Andy’s car was on the drive so you braced yourself. 

"Darling girl, come in! Tea?"

"Hi Daph, yes please. I've only had time for one this morning." So far, so good. 

"Sore head?" She asked knowingly. 

"Not too bad. I suspect someone else is more hungover than me."

"You're not wrong. Did he give you crap?"

"A bit. How was Lex?"

"Oh golden, we had a lovely night. She's none the wiser by the way." She leads you from your hushed conversation in the hallway to her kitchen where Lexie sat eating breakfast and Andy hovered with a coffee in hand.

"Morning poppet, did you have a good night with Gran?"

"Yeah, we watched the new Matilda film!"

"And she hasn't stopped singing the songs yet!" Lexie grinned at her Gran.

"Show me later. Did you do your homework with Dad?" She nodded through a mouthful of cereal. Andy had yet to acknowledge you so far. "Shall we pop and see Nanny and Pop-pop on the way home?" Her face lights up, Andy grunts from the corner of the room. 

"Something to tell the folks eh?"

"Nothing we haven't already talked about." You quickly come up with the white lie. You don't want him to have the satisfaction that you're on clean up duty today. Lexie finishes her breakfast, puts her bowl in the sink and gives Daph a big hug. 

"Thank you Gran."

"Anytime pickle. Have a lovely week at school."

"And bye to Dad?" You prompt her, finishing your tea. You manage to leave without being cornered by Andy, it's pretty clear that his mum has told him to keep his mouth shut, so the short distance to your parents is a happy one. Your dad is already in the garden checking his plants and you can see your mum in the kitchen window beaming at Lexie. "Morning!" You call out, Lexie runs straight in so you go to your dad first. "Hiya dad." 

"Morning poppet," the same nickname you use for Lexie makes you smile. "Saw the paper."

"Hmm I thought you might have."

"Isn't he an almighty arsehole? I saw him on Sky Sports news, proper miserable bugger." You laugh at your dad's straight to the point question. 

"I still need to talk to Lexie, so I can't really talk about it too much, but he's so lovely dad. He's a grumpy fucker but he loves me, and Lexie too. It's early days, but he makes me very happy." Your dad stays quiet, just a grunt of acknowledgement. 

"I'll see about that. You'll bring him?"

"Soon, let's get the season finished first. It's a busy couple of weeks."

"Any luck on the job front?"

"Not yet."

"I hope you're not planning on just letting him support you? I didn't raise you like that."

"Dad! Course I'm not!" It stings a bit that he'd even ask that. You leave him to his tomato plants and go in to your mum. 

"Morning, love. Good night?"

"Yeah, thank you." Lexie is distracted by the baking your mum has already started, "you're not going to ask if I'm in it for the money as well are you?" Your mum laughs, 

"Don't be daft. Nice t-shirt," she notes. "Does the situation make you happy?" She asks cryptically for Lexie's benefit. 

"Very."

"Well that's enough for me for now. More details to follow though please. And you looked beautiful, my sweetheart."

"Thank you."

"He's very handsome. The only reason I'd put up with your dad watching Sky Sports news, really. Don't tell him I said that."

"I'm not telling either of them. Don't want him leaving me for my hot mum!" You stay long enough for Lexie the bottomless pit to have one of your mums famed apple muffins and pack up a couple to take for Roy, thankful that they can't ask too much with Lexie around. You plan to walk home via the park so text Sara who meets you with Phoebe. 

"How did the parental rounds go? Roy called this morning, said you'd have to deal with Andy's mum as well?"

"The mums are fine, I think. Turns out he's got a good fanbase in older women." 

"Oh that'll be his yoga women theory rumbled then. So confident they have no idea who he is! Like their husbands aren't all glued to weekend football."

"My dad asked if I was a golddigger."

"Ouch, rude!"

"Just making sure I'm not throwing my career away."

"What career?" She sniggers. 

"Oi, cheek!" 

"You looked so great together last night. The pictures were amazing."

"It didn't even cross my mind that they'd get attention like that. I wasn't expecting damage control this morning, or to have to tell those two so soon." You look over at where the girls are playing. 

"Phebs hasn't mentioned it yet, but it won't take long. You haven't got to see the playground parents tomorrow have you? That'll be fun, they love a bit of extracurricular shagging!"

"No, she's at breakfast club thankfully! I'm going to tell her this afternoon." 

"Good idea, gotta do it before anyone else can." You say goodbye with plans to watch the following week's Man City game together with the girls and to catch up in the week at school. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

You're considering tackling the mountain of washing and more job applications when the front door knocks. Lexie, who's been quiet all morning, jumps up to open it. You can just about see the front door from the kitchen, so the first thing you see is Roy handing Lexie a bunch of pink tulips. 

"For me?" She squeaks, "really?"

"Is that OK?"

"Only mum has ever brought me flowers before! Mum! Roy brought me flowers!" She rushes in to show you, shaking the bunch in her little fist.

"Oh honey, they're beautiful! Shall I help you put them in water?"

"Can you do it? I'm making friendship bracelets."

"'Scuse me?"

"Pleaseee?"

"That's better, yes, I can do that for you." She puts the flowers on the table and runs back to the living room, high fiving Roy on the way past. "Someone is on the charm offensive." 

"Oh big time," he pulled another bunch from behind his back, peonies.

"How did you know?"

"Dunno what you're talking about." He checked the door before kissing you lightly, you cock your head to one side, "alright yeah, Lexie told me last week when you were out shopping with Sar."

"I knew you were a softy really."

"Only for you, don't get destroying my fucking tough man image."

"I wouldn't dream of it. I like that side too. Did you make Jamie vomit?"

"Unfortunately no. Did you kill anyone?"

"Unfortunately no. Bad mornings all round." He hasn't moved from your side yet and keeps looking to the door. "I think you're safe. She's making Richmond coloured bracelets for the match, we're watching with your mum and sister."

"So I've heard, means I'd better tell my mum about you then." At the knowledge that you shouldn't be interrupted for a few moments, he takes the opportunity to crowd you against the counter and really kiss you. You tilt your head to give you both better access and he sweeps his tongue over your bottom lip before biting it. The small gesture sends a wave of pleasure through your body and your hands go to the hem of his t-shirt of their own accord. You slide them just underneath enough to feel the warm skin on his stomach. The lightest scratch of your nails so close to the waistband of his jeans makes him growl into the kiss. "I've got to stop," he groans, pulling away from you. You can't help the desperate, needy moan at the loss of contact, and the look he gives you from that sound alone is enough to leave you trembling. You take a second to get your breath back and go back to sorting out the flowers. "Has she asked?" He questions once it feels safe enough to talk again. 

"Not yet. I'm going to go and talk to her, you're welcome to come with me?" He squeezes your hand reassuringly but makes sure to let it go once you're in the living room. "Hey, Lex? I need to tell you some that you might end up hearing about from someone else, I wanted to be able to tell you first though?" She sits up and starts measuring your wrist for a friendship bracelet.

"Is it about Roy?"

"Uhh yeah, how did you know?" She shrugs,

"He's here. And he brought flowers." You nod, 

"Right, of course. Yeah, it's about Roy. He asked me out to a fancy party last night. You might see some pictures of us-"

"Have you got them, can I see now?"

"Sure, I just need to get my phone." You're about to stand when Roy passes you his phone instead, and you see the lockscreen is one of the pictures from the night before. You hold it out to her, 

"You guys look so cute." Roy grunts at being called 'cute', "It's true!" She says, taking up his wrist to measure him for a bracelet. "So he's like, your boyfriend?" You steal a quick look at him, his eyebrows raise in anticipation of your answer. 

"Yeah. Is that ok?" Lexie shrugs,

"Sure, you're cooler than dad's new girlfriend but they broke up already. And now I get to meet footballers and hang out with Phoebe even more. She said we could be cousins and I told her I didn't have any so she said we should definitely do that. Can we?"

"Let's ummm… cousins is a very big step for you both. You really need to make sure you're ready so just slow down a bit there." Roy is sniggering at the big deal you've made cousins out to be, but Lexie is having none of it. 

"Mum, I think we'd be OK. We're nearly 9. We're not babies. I think you should just be brave and let us do it."

"Thanks for that input bunny, I'll take the cousins thing super seriously, ok?" She accepts your suggestion and thankfully drops the conversation. In the safety of the kitchen, you lean into him and let his arms wrap around you. "That was so scary. Why are 8 year olds so fucking terrifying?!"

"You were the shit, I fucking loved that." He laughs, his chest rumbling against yours. You stand together until Roy's phone rings and disturbs you. "It's Phoebe. Alright love?" He asks her. You can hear the squeal through the phone but can't make out what she's actually saying. You move away from Roy and give him a big thumbs up and a: you got this ! He doesn't look convinced, despite you only just telling him how scary it was. You can only hear his side of the call. "Nan saw the pictures? Yeah it was a fucking great dress. Yeah alright, I owe you. Worth it. No, this doesn't mean you're cousins now. You can be cousins when I tell you so. Cos it'll be up to me! Phoebe, put nan on the phone. Mum? Yeah she's OK. I'll come and see you tomorrow. I will, love you." He hangs up and you wait. "Phoebe is suddenly obsessed with cousins and mum wanted to check you were ok." You smile,

"I think that went well then. All the mums are on board, all the kids, I'm claiming the win." 

 

You cooked dinner, as promised and let Lexie watch a film with Roy afterwards while you packed her school bag and your work things. He left at her bedtime, leaving you with a kiss at the door. 

"Maybe Roy could have a sleepover next time, mum," she said halfway to sleep, "but you can't steal all the covers or he'll get cold."

"Thanks poppet, I'll make sure I don't steal the covers."

~~~~~~~~

[delta-pavonis]

Dreamling Week 2024 Day 2

banner art via WorldAnvil

Dreamling Week 2024 Day 2 Prompts (from @mr-sadman): Pirates, Hourglass, Flowers, Exhibitionism

Dreamling || Rated T || 975 words

tags (other than the prompts above): fantasy, urban fantasy, solarpunk, drow druid/sorcerer Dream, half wood elf bard/gunsmith Hob, investigator partners with a history, discussion of sex in public, discussion of kink, Dream is a little shit in every universe I don't make the rules

Read Part 1 here.

Hob cackles as he tucks the ornate hourglass under his arm and fucking runs.

“Oh, what the hell…” Dream drops the vase of flowers he had been planning on using as an improvised weapon and takes off after his partner. A partner who is rapidly climbing the rankings for stupidest sentient being Dream has ever known. “Gadling! What in the name of every god extant and extinct do you think you are doing?”

The half-elf startles for just a moment as Dream easily catches up to him despite the head start and the crowded market streets. “This is evidence, right?” He tilts his head towards the hourglass.

At this rate Dream is going to pull a muscle rolling his eyes at Hob. “We do not steal evidence! I do not have the least idea of where you learned how to be an investig–”

“Pirates!” He chirrups happily, skidding around a corner as horns start to sound the alarm throughout the resonant underground halls of the Duergar city. 

The answer is so absurd that Dream is struck speechless. 

Then a rumble sounds to their right and it has Dream reaching across Hob's chest to grab his gun in its shoulder holster under his duster. Luckily the gun and the hourglass are not under the same arm, because Dream is completely out of spells, both divine and arcane. He jumps ahead up the stairs and twists, taking two shots at their pursuers and grinning when he hears a shout of explicatives.

Another set of stairs, then they are scrambling up a wall, grabbing the bottom rung of a camouflaged ladder, and are back in the surface’s sewers before the next round of horns sound. Dream slides the cover over the secret entrance and breathes a sigh of relief as, with a golden shimmer, it seals itself once again.

Panting and apparently completely uncaring of the state of the water around their feet, Hob drops to his arse with a thud. Little bits of duckweed and algae slop up onto Dream’s boots.

“We should keep moving.” Dream scowls at his footwear as he also breathes in huge, heaving gulps. “We don't know the power of their artificers and–”

“Don't have ‘em,” Hob shakes his head. “It made bartering for certain items with them a total crapcircus because they didn't value the same basic material goods. Everything they do is mechanical. Non-magic. Luckily we didn't get stuck down there often.” Dream just stares at him; theoretically those are all common words, but fuck if he parses their meaning right now with the adrenaline crash just starting to take its toll. Hob smirks, lopsided and definitely not charming. Absolutely not. “Pirates, remember?”

He feels a headache coming on and so pinches the bridge of his nose. “Are you actually trying to tell me that before joining the Houndsguild you were a Hawkshaw?”

“Uh… yes?” Hob blinks at him as if Dream is the one asking the dumb question. “Thirteen years. Is that so hard to believe?”

Dream just stares. If this half-elf was a Hawkshaw, one of the pirate codekeepers (the closest to lawmen such outlaws might ever get), then there is so much more here to uncover, so much more to Hob, that he isn't even sure where to start. Hob drops back down in Dream's mental rankings of stupidity. Dream breathes out and now, a little calmer, some of Hob's behaviors slot into place. The impulsivity. The recklessness. The charisma to get himself out of just about any problem caused by said impulsivity and recklessness. “No, actually, now that I think of it. It makes some sense.”

The smile that brightens Hob's face is also extremely not charming. Or cute. No. Not at all. “Help me up?” He holds out his hand and Dream automatically grips his forearm as he continues to speak, “I know we got off on the wrong foot when we first met, but I hope you are coming to realize that in this, in solving cases like these at least, I am actually competent.”

Dream nods, but also cannot resist the opportunity for a good jibe. “It at least explains why when we first met you were balls deep in the barmaid bouncing on your lap in the middle of a crowded tavern.” He smirks back, trying to convey that he isn't really judging, just teasing. “Never met a Hawkshaw who didn't want to be the absolute center of attention.”

Hob splutters out a laugh and gets his feet under him, blushing all the while. “Hey there! It is a specific tactic! Think of it like slight-of-hand and bardic performance had a baby, but it acts on a group level. While everyone is busy watching me…”

“Your fellows are working without being noticed.” Dream shakes his head ruefully, ceding the point to Hob. “Not bad.”

“Fun, too.” Hob's grin goes lopsided again as he waggles his eyebrows and he stares at Dream for a beat longer than necessary. Dream has to resist fidgeting under that warm gaze and so distracts himself with their usual banter.

“If that is your kink, then I am sure it is fun.” Speaking of fun, watching Hob's eyes widen and his neck flush when Dream says ‘kink’ is extremely fun. He studies his fingernails and tries to exude nonchalance. “Exhibitionism isn't really to my taste, though. More of a leather and ropes type myself.” He hears Hob inhale sharply and smirks, still not looking up. “Did you know that if you get strips of leather soaking wet they shrink and constrict as they dry?”

Dream looks at Hob through his lashes, sees him open-mouthed and panting, eyes dilated. Delightful. 

Maybe he will be able to get through this partnership with his dignity intact after all. Or, at least, Dream certainly won't be the first one to lose his composure.

[animentality]

I got to Lady Jannath's estate, and holy shit I hate that stupid questline. Fuck Oscar and fuck Lady Jannath, I hate her fucking house and how stupid it is

it's literally the worst thing ever made in a video game.

it's not just narratively dull, although honestly the quest mechanics suck so bad that maybe it's a blessing that you don't have to go through it to get any kind of great scenes.

and honestly who the fuck thought it was a good idea to have an annoying and boring ass artist from act 1 show up again, only to have the worst quest in the game that basically just says well he's an asshole. a boring asshole. whose backstory sucks dick. anyway.

but it's not just pointless.

it's psychological torture.

it's a buggy fucking mess, with enemies who go invisible, which is already annoying as fuck, but it's made worse by the fact that they literally make you wait there for FULL MINUTES as the ghosts stand around and don't take their fucking turns.

then it's worse because you get attacked on the first floor and literally have to make your fucking way up like three or four floors.

and the lateral view of BG3 is ASS.

you literally are fucking blind bc you're forced to go up floors that you can't SEE until you're on them. and then it gets worse because you're on the fucking stairs.

and then SKULLS BLAST YOU DOWN THE STAIRS BACK WHERE YOU FUCKING STARTED.

And the skulls have medium toughness so you literally have to hit them for at least 50 fucking damage.

that or remove curse, but only if you happened to be hoarding 5 fucking remove curse scrolls or are a cleric with limited spell slots.

and if you manage to survive fall damage and force damage, you then have to fight more ghosts at the fucking top.

also to do that stupid fucking quest, you have to do the stupid ass mystic carrion quest, which is another form of hell.

fighting him is annoying because you can't heal when fighting him and he constantly frightens you.

and he has stupid ghouls that paralyze you as well as frighten you.

but then going to his tomb to help that dumb bitch zombie whose name I can't remember right now is worse.

because in that stupid mummy crypt, you can't heal OR CAST SPELLS WITHOUT TAKING A BILLION DAMAGE down there.

now I at least figured out that you can just have a rogue run down there, steal the shit you need, and just leave.

but it is a HELLISH room.

it is literally the worst.

I hate mummy rot.

it's some bullshit.

so in short.

FUCK.

THAT.

QUEST.

it is AWFUL. I HATE IT.

anyone who likes it has something seriously wrong with their brain and they need to get it checked before it kills them.

fuck Oskar Ferves, he can literally choke on both my dicks.

the WORST quest in baldur's gate 3, no exceptions, no close seconds.

I could be dead for ten years and the blood in my corpse would still fucking boil if you mention that fucking quest in the cemetery.

[outpost51]

if not, winter

What happens when your ex, who you definitely don’t still have feelings for, is your only hope?

After an explosive breakup, Nyreen and Aria go their separate ways — sort of. While Nyreen licks her wounds and moves on with her life, Aria lets them fester and lets the station rot around her. Cerberus has a nasty habit of throwing wrenches where they don’t belong, though, and Aria’s boat gets rocked enough to capsize entirely. With her kingdom in shambles, her rotten station seized, and her goddamn couch stolen right out from under her, everything seems hopeless — until Nyreen swoops in with her resistance to take it all back.

But will she take Aria back, too?

Rating: Explicit

Wordcount: 15,809

Chapters: 11/11

Tags:

More info, playlist, and preview below the cut.

{READ HERE ON AO3}

FINALLY i can reveal what the fuck i've been working on for MONTHS: my entry for mebb 2023 and also (technically) the fourth book of Helix. i had the privilege of working with @tentacledix, who made the incredible art and the banner for this fic!!

naturally, there's a playlist:

as well as music recs in each chapter.

acknowledgements: big thanks to my fellow mebb authors who graciously kept this thing going when i wanted to quit like fifteen times. y’all know who you are.

preview:

Then he dragged in a scrawny, pale-plated turian who had the gumption to stomp right up Aria’s stairs and demand a job, just like that. No references, no resume, no respect. Garka had a gun to her head before she’d finished taking a step forward. The turian had Garka disarmed and on the floor before the rest of them could blink. Nyreen Kandros. No rank like most of the military rejects tried to cling to, but she still used her full legal. Dipshit. “No handle?” Aria simpered. Nyreen flicked her mandible. “Only on my knives.” “Barefaced brat,” Grizz spat under his breath. She rattled back a slew of insults Aria was sure Grizz couldn’t spell with a dictionary in front of him. He had a point, though. Kandros wasn’t a family name one just threw around, and it was odd that one of theirs had wound up on her doorstep without a speck of blue anywhere on her. Aria stretched her arms across the back of the couch. “You’re either very brave or very stupid, and neither of those is any use to me.” “Good,” Nyreen huffed, crossing her arms. “Because I’m neither one of those, ma’am.” Anto choked on his drink. “Ma’am,” he wheezed. “My apologies,” the interloper sneered. “I’m neither one of those, Your Majesty.” She even sketched a bow, glancing up at Aria beneath her browplates. Insubordinate dipshit. Aria swiped Anto’s drink and took a sip. “So what are you, then, if you’re not brave or stupid?” There was the posture everyone expected of a well-bred bird. Nyreen straightened up, held her head high, clicked her heels twice — oh, she still had that stick jammed right up her pretty little— “Loyal, Your Majesty. I’m loyal and efficient.”

[dracomeir]

23 with the rgb trio pls

23. when they have to hold someone they loved at a gun point? why would it even occur?

Prompt list can be found here.

Decided to come up with a possible scenario that could occur for my spy AU Shot Through The Heart. For better context, Pico is a spy who becomes Girlfriend's bodyguard in order to gain information about the Dearest family, and take them out if they're truly a threat. He ends up falling in love with her, and betrays the spy organization. Boyfriend is also a spy, and he thinks GF used charm magic to control his lover. He also falls in love with her after multiple attempts to free the ginger from a non-existent spell.

Long post ahead. (I will not remember this whenever I get around to writing this AU's story. lmao)

Boyfriend had no idea what the hell he was doing when he randomly decided to kidnap Girlfriend. It seemed like a good idea at the time when he was surrounded by Pico, and several members of the mafia in an abandoned building in the middle of nowhere. The don's daughter's didn't even resist when he grabbed her. As they ran upstairs, a few gunshots rang out. The bullets ricochet off the metal steps, and they heard Pico snap at the gunman after he pistol whipped him.

"You fucking idiot. You could've hit the princess!" The ginger looked at the others. "Why are you just fucking standing there? After him!"

Spurred into action, the mobsters gave chase. They ended up on the roof, and blocked the only way out. They saw Boyfriend point a gun at Girlfriend as Pico stepped in front of the group. They heard the kidnapper say,

"Stay back, or I'll shoot her."

Pico replied, "Okay."

"The fuck you mean, 'Okay?' Aren't you supposed to protect her?"

"Yeah, but what are you going to do once she's dead? Jump off the roof? You'll lose your only means of negotiation."

"Uh..."

"Thought so. Let her go, and I might let you live."

"Huh?! I thought you loved me. Why are you working for the enemy?"

"Because it's my job? How fucking stupid are you?" For fuck's sake, remember my mission, dumbass.

"I'm not stupid, babe. This witch used magic to make you turn against me. There's no way you'd be doing this otherwise."

"For the last fucking time, I'm not charmed by her!"

The mobsters were starting to get confused by the situation as Boyfriend said, "Don't worry, babe. I'll free you from the mafia's clutches. Just help me get out of here."

Pico sighed. Then pointed his pistol at Boyfriend. "This is your last chance, BF. Let her go." And please fucking shut up. You're going to give me away.

"Yeah, right. There's no way you'd shoot m—" A bullet grazed his cheek. "You fucking shot me!"

"No shit, Sherlock. The next one is going through your skull if you don't let her go in five seconds. Five..."

"What?!"

"Four..."

"Don't shoot me, babe."

"Three..."

"You're joking, right?"

"Two..."

"Surely the power of love will make you realize the mistake you're about to make."

"One."

Boyfriend closed his eyes as a gunshot rang out. Not feeling any pain, he opened them to see a mobster was shot instead. He heard Pico sigh before taking advantage of the others' shock to quickly eliminate them. Then he saw the look of disappointment on his face before hearing,

"You're a fucking idiot."

Girlfriend slipped out of Boyfriend's grasp easily due to him trying to process what just happened. She rushed towards the ginger to hug him. "My hero!"

"Yeah, yeah. Now let me go." Pico returned his gaze to his other lover. "You're lucky we're basically nowhere right now, or I wouldn't have been able to do this."

Boyfriend finally realized what happened, and gasped. "The power of love worked. I knew you wouldn't shoot me."

"That's not what hap— Nevermind. We're going home." Pico held Girlfriend's hand to bring her along.

"Wait, what? You're still being controlled by her?" Boyfriend ran after them. "Release your hold on him, bitch."

The ginger suddenly stopped, and tripped the other man to make him fall down the stairs. His boyfriend managed to roll down safely, only to end up hitting his head on the wall. Pico kicked him over to see he was unconscious.

"Good. One less headache for the day."

"Are you sure leaving him here is a good idea?"

"Eh. He'll be fine."

And with that, the duo left Boyfriend behind to get some pizza.

[blorbologist]

Power Word Pain Brjeaus?

33.Power Word Pain

"You speak a word of power that causes waves of intense pain to assail one creature you can see within range. If the target has 100 hit points or fewer, it is subject to crippling pain. Otherwise, the spell has no effect on it. A target is also unaffected if it is immune to being charmed."

[I don’t think a CR character has ever cast this, so I’m just going with ~vibes~ instead of the spell]

“Mother - fucking - coward!” snaps Beauregard. Or, Fjord suspects she would, with her usual sharp tongue, if not for how absolutely hammered she is.

How the fuck are they going to get home? Let alone with enough time to sleep this off before the wedding? Which is tomorrow. Gods. He hopes Jester has a spell for this.

Whoever said it’s a Captain’s duty to be the best man is a pigfaced liar. 

“To be fair - completely fair,” Fjord points out mildly, adjusting his hold on the drunk monk, “you didn’t invite him!”

“Well, yeah.” He thinks Beau might grumble as he tries to crabwalk them out the door. The tavernkeep is watching them with barely restrained amusement. “Yeah. But! Doesn’t mean I didn’t want him to - fuck, I don’t know.”

“Know? Ow,” she echoes a little dumbly when she knocks her shoulder into the doorframe. 

Fjord is very glad for the lapse she finds herself in as he faces down stairs. He really wishes they were both more sober - especially Beau. Bets she could dope monk shit her way down no problem.

“How about -” he tries the first step, nudges Beau after him. She takes two at a time, leaving him stumbling to keep them upright. “How about we leave this until after we’ve reached the bottom in one piece?”

Beau nods. Bobs, more like it. “Sure. Yeah. Can do, Capt’n.”

She actually listens, which saves them at least three falls. Between the both of them - Expositor of the Cobalt Soul, Captain of the Hein Heroez - they actually manage to defeat some rickety steps with only a yelp between them. 

He thinks Beau has forgotten what they were discussing, while he sorts out the right way to her house. It’s not as packed as you’d expect, given Caleb simply summoned the Tower inside. Fjord actually forgets all about it, wondering just how many rooms the man could fit in there, if they had a larger wedding party, when-

“Man, I just fucking wanted ‘im to try, you know?”

“Beau,” Fjord says, “are you alright?”

“Yeah. Duh.” She sniffles. 

“You are crying.”

This one comes out shrill. “Am not. You’re not my fuckin’ mom.”

“I am your best man,” he replies. “And I don’t think you should be crying about anything the eve of your wedding.”

Beau’s steps have slowed to a stop. She sways - into his side, far too heavy for how small she is, only to careen away as he struggles to not drop her. “Could cry ‘bout how beautiful Yasha is. Myyyyy wife tomorrow!”

The gravel purrs underfoot.  “Yes,” he agrees, “but you’re not really crying about that, right now.”

“What if I am?” There’s a pause as he tries his best to convey how little he fucking buys that. “What if you’re right. Maybe. And I just… wish he’d tried tuh - to reach out. Ask why he didn’t get one. Beg, maybe. Say he’d change.”

Fjord starts coaxing them towards a tree. They’ll be in late anyways - he figures they should sit down for this. He’s not the most steady on his feet either.

“I hope you’d say no. If he did ask.”

“Of course,” she agrees. “And I’d cuss him out and tell him he’s - fuck. It’s stupid.”

“No it’s not.” He gently eases her around a truly impressive pothole and into the roadside grasses. “You, stupid? Often, yes, but not now.”

“Well - fuck you too.”

A glance out the corner of his eyes tells him Beau is making a great effort to watch where her feet go. He’s sure if he gives it enough time, she will keep - “Wanted the chance to say no. Tell him to fuck off and for it to actually hurt. For it to actually be something he wanted. But he - he never wanted me enough to think this is important. Worth it.”

He sighs through his nose. “Beau -”

That sigh morphs into something like a scream as his foot catches a root and they come crashing to the ground. Which is nothing, to a man who has been through as much as Fjord, but the Wildemother has a sort of humor tonight. His boot holds fast, or the root holds faster, and his ankle twists into sharp pain on the way down.

“Fuck!” At least Beau rolls out of the way on instinct, because he hits the ground hard. “Balls - mother of shit! That hurts!”

“Ah fuck - sorry Fjord.” He hears Beau shifting. Does not see, really, because he’s clutching his foot. The pain almost pulses through his shoes, his nice shoes, and up his calf.

She slumps gratefully into the tree, almost dragging her down with him. Maybe it would be easier if she had - in the moment Fjord can’t quite figure out how to sit in the tangle of roots. “I’m - ow, my - owwwwww.” He gets distinct rubbing her sore ass feelings from that familiar groan.

“We’re going to die out here,” Fjord wheezes between sways of his rocking. Fuck, ow. “And our fiances are going to have to haul us home.”

“It would be a hot as fuck though.”

He feels himself flush something almost blue. “Yeah - yes.” In all likelihood, once he’s over his pity party, once Beau has sobered up a bit, they’ll endure the great migration home. Maybe the pain will help, once he can walk.

“Can you walk?” Beau echoes. 

“Too soon to tell.” He exhales sharply as he tries resting the ankle against a root. That’s not great. Settles for leaning back on his palms. “Well. We have time. The wedding can’t happen without you, anyways.”

Beau nods. “Veth could Disguise Self to look like you,” she says. Can’t seem to suggest who would pretend to be her, though, and so mulls it over.

Fjord… cannot think much, as the pain heaves through him, tugged through by corded ropes in his muscles. But Beau’s earlier hurt - pain, just as real as this - nags at him.

“Aha - I’ve got it.” Beau squints at him. She doesn’t have her goggles on, so he doubts it helps much. Fjord grins broadly, in the hopes the moonlight catches and conveys cheek more than distress. 

“Of course your father couldn’t come - he’s scared to death your wife will kill him!”

Perfectly rational explanation.

[g33se]

Playing bg3 right now. Got to the point with the druids and the tiefling city. A couple of opinions about the party:

Lae'zel: I liked her a lot when I met her first (competent, straightforward, my type of girl) but she's being very rude about the tieflings. Given that I'm playing a tiefling... well. Not keen on the way she compared us to cockroaches or the way she made the tiefling bow- granted the tieflings did have reason to want to stab her. So liking her quite a bit less now. Still, looking at her respectfully. She is hot.

Shadowheart: Never really liked elves all that much. Not super keen on the way she did a racism at Lae'zel as soon as we met her, but the moments of emotional vulnerability have me liking her a lot more.

Astarion: Stupid loser bastard. That man is clearly a vampire- I mean, look at the eyes/teeth/the literal VAMPIRE BITE on his neck and the ten thousand clues he's been dropping. Sexy of him to greet me by holding a knife to my neck I thought he was going to rob me. He's such a fucking idiot I want to jump his bones.

Gale: This man has bard energy. At least, the way I play bards. Also kind of single dad energy? Just a random wizard running around. Just a Dude, if you will. Had to put him back in the campsite since I'm a sorcerer and party comp will get fucked though.

Wyll: Thought he was a paladin at first. Then he started doing warlocky things. I like how he acts it's a nonstandard edgy warlock thing, I hope his storyline pans out well. Really like his back-and-forth with Lae'zel about ever doing nice things with her life. Immediately taken with the fight scene I saw him in first, looked fucking epic.

Overall, I really love Mind Flayers. They're fucking cool, that little starter scene when I converted a woman into one was fucking nightmare fuel. I did see the button saying perfect and press it knowing what it would probably mean. What the hell were they doing in Avernus though. And isn't Zariel the angel who fell because she wanted to kill demons with GREAT PREJUDICE?

I've also been save scumming whenever I steal stuff a lot because, habit. I just want to collect all the boxes and put them into the campsite. Also reloaded the same save three times because I wanted Asterion to take that one potato off a crying guard. (Probably going to try to see if I can do a revivify on the dead guard later? I don't know if the game has the 1 min timer on revivify or not.) Also I do like how yoinking just makes people do 'hey wtf' or 'you're getting arrested' because instantly trying to kill the party is. Weird.

Also reloaded the save once because I couldn't revivify Shadowheart because she died on stairs that were on fire. I know how to play dnd I just have a hard time conceptualizing it with game graphics.

Lower level dnd's always interesting. The take action to restore someone else at 1hp is also... inspired. Would be interested to see normal downing rules- that would force me to think in more dnd terms to play the game. I also keep clicking wrong and wasting attacks on the space right next to a person.

Weird how everyone can use scrolls.

I hate the 1/short rest mage hand it's a fucking cantrip and it can do, like, nothing. Going to download a mod for it later.

Going to have to use the speak with dead amulet a lot I hope. I love that spell. Not quite sure how I feel about your camp being a separate room- I feel like it trivializes inventory management and sending things there is. Weird. Where is all the weight going. I do like stacking all the boxes I find though.

Thought the Absolute people were part of a mind flayer cult so had to kill a few of them.

Current leader druid is a bit cringe. Don't want to kill her but definitely ousting her asap. Stop being a dick to my people (tieflings). Also really liking the tiefling responses so far.

Also wonder at the deal about the tiefling village. They seem to have a lot of hell stuff going on there.

Anyway, this is cool! Looking forward to what happens next.

[emi-chak]

Quickly before I forget and pass out asleep.

I dreamed there was a special fight where you could control Raphael, and ofc he considers himself a snowflake special enough to have a whole ass different UI when you select him. Sensibly the same, mind, but most of the assets were disposed differently (I should probably try to recreate it) and I think there was one additional small window for His Own Fight Log to separate himself from the others because Yes his own voice matters to him and he Wants you the Player to Pay Attention, I remember being so angry while taking screenshots to post them on Twitter, and writing "OFC HE HAS A DIFFERENT UI THIS SLUT"

And the voicelines. Fuck. The voicelines when you select him or touched some of his spells and passives (also the description were explained by himself, stuff like "*I* will do this and that, etc." yknow), they were driving me insane enough to make me go "SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP" almost all of them made me feel like I was either getting sexually harassed or kinkshamed, sometimes both.

And I was so angry, fuck. He Knows this is hype, He Knows he feels powerful to play, He Knows you need him right now even though that was a player choice. But cmon. I fucking would agree to whatever bulshit he wants my character to go through if that means I can have my hands on him (i mean what? No you didnt read that SHUT UP) and I was sitting in front of my screen like "How DARE He. him and his perpetually flaccid dick"

I can't remember all of his lines, but they where very telling of how I feel toward this goddamn character

"Can't get enough, can't you? 😏"

"You touched it. Now you'll  have  to  wait." (BRO)

*insert some of his stupid theatrical bullshit that I can't remember because this was a fucking dream*

"Bloody damn bred." (WHAT THE FUCK WAS MY BRAIN COOKING WITH THIS ONE)

*something about his dick being Not Flaccid*

*some small laughing(???)* (Was my cursor tickling him, or...? Oh no. I'm so fucked. No, fuck, that's cute. NO!!! ID RATHER WANT TO BE MOCKINGLY LAUGHED AT!!!!! AUUGGH!!!)

Anyway.

As I'm writing this, more memories of this particular part of my dream are fading. I guess I couldn't get lucid enough to take the reins of it because it switched to my usual dreams. There was a section where I had to hide under some stairs, a ghost pursuing me, glitching objects I desperately tried to stack in front of me, being told that I needed to do something I can't remember, and so on, can't remember much at this point.

I thought the Raphael part of my dream was so real. I thought I really tweeted those screenshots. I was so sure I was screaming in both my best friend's and boyfriend's dms on discord. Imagine my disappointment right now. Imagine my relief, too, because fuck no I don't want to feel more than simple amusement whenever he appears on screen.

That would be Hells.

[mad-rieux]

I like reading poetry, one of my favorites is Yeats, but I also remember that he and Aleister Crowley were like occult magic wizard Live action role players. They were a part of some secret wizard club, along with Bram Stoker. Crowley was apparently an insufferable piece of shit though, my guess is he was a meta gamer/god mode-r type of "wizard." Either way he was going up some stairs and Yeats came to confront him about the dangers of such "wizardry." There was a lot of spells yelled at each other, then finally Yeats just Spartan kicked Crowley down some stairs. Thus ended the great Wizard battle between Yeats and Crowley.

So if you watch stupid shit on the news like Elon Musk fucking around or watching Mike Huckabee Slap bass with the guitarist from Korn and go "Is history always this stupid?" Yes...yes it is.

[flydotnet]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled).

Stairs, a taser, Yuto's fist, and more stairs. What do they all have in common?

Oh look, this is my yearly Arc-V fanfic where I'm ignoring most of canon because who gives a fuck about the Arc-V canon past, like, the Synchro arc (YMMV) lol. Anyway, this is a catharsis fic where I combine all of my other vague changes to the canon so that stupid ship only me still cares about in 2023 A.D. and also where the stupid parasites are easily removable by a good dash of Raidraptor magic. This fic can also be called "the floor is actually writing the Duel" because I didn't want to burden myself with how godawful the Parasite archetype is, especially since I can't just copy-paste a Duel from canon. The one I'd have to plagiarize really... isn't that good too, we're just all biased because Yuto is badass.

The title is a bilingual pun between the English "volatine", which is a synonym of "explosive" or "unstable", and the French "volatile", which is a term used for birds. Y'know, like Shun. He's the two meanings of the word "volatile". The word was, in fact, invented to trip my foot over during translation classes and also for Shun Kurosaki from hit "lowest ratings on Nico Nico Douga" anime Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V.

Speaking of my favourite bird-wielding edgelord, post-Xyz Shun is always kind of weird to write too. He's not the same abrasive bastard I keep remembering as, but then I'm afraid I'm writing him too soft. I kind of tend to forget he's that angry, that destructive in huge part because of his bonds to other people. I don't want a Draco in Leather Pants situation, God knows I've bitched about when it was happening with Revolver VRAINS. Just... think that in this timeline I'm never describing Serena and he stuck around for much longer, like at least through Synchro, character dev' happened, or something, idk

-----------------------------------

Volatile

Summary: Serena snaps back to reality in the middle of a Duel, only to quickly realize her spirit is fighting herself(?) and her body is fighting a rib-clutching Kurosaki. Nothing about this adds up, yet there she is, not even in control of her own body anymore.

Or: Shun came across a possessed Serena before his sister after losing her track back in the Xyz Dimension, this is the consequences of that forced encounter.

Fandom: Yu-Gi-Oh Arc-V Characters: Serena, Shun Ship: Peregrineshipping (pre-rel)

Wordcount: 3K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​

AO3 version.

-----------------------------------

Serena wakes up on both her feet to the smell of gunpowder and the heat of a reactor.

 Recent wartime experiences as a well-groomed doll turned soldier turned renegade have shaped her in a way that she doesn’t question how she got there, let alone why, and only on what’s in front of her.

She’s in harm’s way, so she sidesteps to avoid a chunk of shrapnel.

She’s near fire, so she steps backwards to avoid getting burned, or worse, outright set ablaze.

She’s in the middle of a Duel, which means she’s in the middle of battle, and needs to focus. Alas, no experience has prepared her for what she sees on the blade of her trusty Disk – and decidedly feels like a stranger to her own deck.

 She doesn’t recognize most of the cards she’s playing. Most of them are bearing garish bugs clad in colours that only push her eyes far away, which she don’t quite pay a mind to. They’re mostly Monster cards, with the exception of a set Trap card and a Spell one that’s still active. It seems to affect an archetype known as “Parasite”, which she’s never played nor even heard of. Why the hell did she play that, before seemingly going to sleep? How did this even happen to begin with?

It only dawns on her then to look up, only to see a semi-familiar face that, if it had organic eyes, would have absolutely been staring daggers right into hers. Mechanic wings, reactors, the smell of ruin and gunpowder. No, there’s no mistaking it, she’s watched it ravage through opposite fields before, in person, on a screen… No doubt about it, it’s –

 “Rise Falcon,” an even more familiar voice tells in a hoarse but firm tone, “reduce those bugs to—”

“Wait!”

Arm already risen in front of him, the individual on the other side of the field stops with a frustrated frown.

“What is it? Afraid of defeat?”

Her head hurts.

“What’re you doing, Kurosaki?! We’re on the same side!”

He tilts his head backwards just a little, one of his eyes twitches. He’s almost showing teeth now.

“I asked you that before you forced my hand into this bullshit.” He sounds so hurt, in a way that she hasn’t heard in so long, and her chest starts choking her too. “Don’t take me for stupid, asshole.”

It’s a downright migraine that she’s now stuck trying to shove back.

“What do you mean? I just… Why would I do that?”

His expression immediately softens.

“You were under the control of that… thing,” he points to the Parasite Queen in front of her, “and almost pushed me off that tower. Then you challenged me to a Duel.”

This sounds like an utter fantasy; but if there’s one thing Kurosaki doesn’t do, it’s lying, even to those he doesn’t trust, so there must be a rational explanation for this.

“What para—”

Don’t resist, Serena. Be a good girl.

She clutches her head now. What’s this voice? How did they get inside her head?!

“Serena?”

You’re my slave, now. Be a good girl and fight the Xyz remnant in front of you.

“Shit, Serena, snap out of it!”

And just like this, she loses contact with her own body.

 It’s an awful feeling of dissociation, drowsiness and loss of control. Her foot don’t touch the ground anymore, leaving her floating inside her own consciousness. Her eyes don’t look where she wants them to go, more fixated on the cards than on the guy in front of her, for worse and no shade of better – because even through the haze of her controlled mind, Serena hears it, the wheeze and the rasp of his voice.

 “You little pest,” her voice groans once even her cords have given back into the parasite’s clutches. “Back to you it is, bird boy.”

Kurosaki remains silent, the deep-set frown on his face enough to speak for him. Only now does she see, through the haze of glazed eyes, how battered he truly is, an arm wrapped around his chest and a trinkle of blood going down his cheek.

“I’m not leaving you in this state, not again, so don’t go thinking you’re out of the woods.” He clenches his teeth, spits back venom, “I’m not letting any of this fly by.”

He makes it sound like he’s here to save her – which doesn’t make sense. Kurosaki wanted to save Ruri, his other friend and his homeland. She wasn’t on the list. (Although Serena would’ve given her all to save him would have their places been the opposite, because she seeks redemption, because she wants to be a heroine, because she cares for Kurosaki less like a brother and more like a—)

“Oh, charming knight in armour, here to save the damsel in distress!” It chuckles. “You sound so full of yourself, for a miserable bug! You’re not the big bird of prey you think you are! Or did you abandon me back there? Didn’t just you faint from some small debris?”

“Tch.” He settles back into a deadpan. “I detach one Overlay Unit from Rise Falcon…”

 It wasn’t small debris – it was a lot more than that. She watched him run to save a girl he knew from her trauma and whatever her own homeland was trying to pull off in the middle of a Tag Duel, and only thanks to Kaito’s help was she able to finish them off before it was too late. She was scared beyond her mind’s comprehension, back there, but unable to realize until much late how much that had been; because there was no time.

No wonder why Kurosaki was so volatile. He hadn’t processed much of anything. Even now, she doubts he has.

What’s also no wonder to her is why she got so scared back then and a part of what’s grounding her to her body despite the phantom pain. She wants to do the right thing and stop this Duel from continuing any further. She doesn’t want to continue being a puppet for whomever infected her in Academia, her first and alleged only home for so long. She can’t hurt Kurosaki. She’s supposed to reunite with him and help him.

 And yet the Duel continues on without her, card after card sent to the Graveyard, Life Point after Life Point lost. Her “other self” has resorted to continuously bringing Monsters back from the dead to slap parasites on them, despite being unable to actually get a let up on Kurosaki despite having the upper hand in terms of cards on the field. He’s using all of his tools, constantly switching gears.

“You cheat,” that voice says. “You can’t beat me all on your own, can you!”

Kurosaki doesn’t reply, doesn’t even look like he’s hearing her.

“Action Magic: Miracle.” He smirks. “You could use them too, if you weren’t a coward.”

“You’re the coward, using you Lancers’ precious cards. You’re only delaying your oh so pathetic demise, Xyz remnant.”

To her surprise, even if it feels like it shouldn’t be anymore, Kurosaki chuckles at that.

“Oh, yeah, you’re definitely not there. The Serena I know wouldn’t say crap like this.”

“You don’t know me.”

“Obviously.”

 The other her destroys Kurosaki’s field with Magic, builds its side with more parasites, all summoned in various ways her dizzied mind can’t keep up with. The Queen squirms, ever so content with the suffering on the field, and she has to watch the one person she’s gotten attached to pay the price for what’s absolutely, by now and without question, her own rash decision making. She was made prisoner and now tortures other people.

She wouldn’t have wanted to put anyone through this to begin with, let alone him. No, of course Kurosaki isn’t the only friend she’s made along the way (that’d erase Yuzu, and Tsukikage, and Yugo…), but she’d lie if she said they hadn’t gotten strangely close to each other, the Xyz renegade and the former golden child of Academia turned against them. The groomed soldier and the one who had to become one to survive. It’s awful, it makes all too much sense.

 Another turn ended and he’s back to kneeling on the ground, hanging on by a thin thread of 200 LP.

“Oh-oh, having trouble standing up now, are we?”

“Shut it.”

“Hmph, I see you’re as unpleasant to talk to as always. You build yourself up so much yet struggle to do anything of substance once confronted. How does it feel, to be so useless, in the end? To be so powerless in the face of adversity?”

Kurosaki doesn’t respond, once more, only getting back to his feet.

“Tch. I set one face-down card and end my turn.”

 Serena’s heart skips a beat when she sees what card it is, as brief as it is. The name is blurry, so is the picture, but the chuckle of self-satisfaction that escapes her is enough to be weary of what’s about to happen; and if that wasn’t enough, then knowing it’ll absolutely decimate both of their fields but at the cost of his LP first would do more than the job.

She has one turn to get control of her body back, if not less. It’s a Magic card, so it has less chance to be activated on Kurosaki’s turn, but it’s not enough reassurance in this game of minds and prediction. If she doesn’t do something before it’s too late, he’ll suffer the consequences; and that she simply cannot let happen. He’s already struggling to breathe as is.

 “I activate from my hand Rank-Up Magic, Absorbing Soul Force. I pay half my Life Points to Special Summon Rise Falcon back to my field.”

“Then I’ll just destroy it again! You can’t win!”

“Shut up, I’m not finished. I Overlay Rise Raptor as Xyz material to summon two Ranks above its four.”

“Oh, of course, you Xyz users can’t get enough of your stupid Ranks. Come at me, I’ll just bury it six feet underground if need be!”

“Prideful falcon, spread your wings dyed in the blood of heroes, advance through the path of revolution! Xyz Summon, come forth! Rank Six, Raidraptor Revolution Falcon!”

“What’s the difference between that and the previous one? None, they’re all scum! Low filth of the Earth!”

Oh, a lot, but she’d rather let Kurosaki explain – who remains unfazed, if silently furious.

“I activate Revolution Falcon’s effect. By using one Overlay Unit, it can attack all of my opponents’ Monsters, once each.”

“Its Attack is inferior to Parasite Queen’s! Are you birdbrained?!”

Is he going to pull off the same thing he did back then?

“When this monster battles one that was Specially Summoned, that monster’s Attack and Defence become zero!”

But it scoffs and laughs, oh so amused by what’s in front of it, and she won’t have it let have its way. She’s putting an end to this battle that wasn’t meant to be now, no matter what. She’ll get back in control, at long last.

“Too bad for you, I’m ready! I activate—”

If she doesn’t do anything, this is going to be the bitter end—

No, I won’t let you!

“It’s over!” Serena screams with her own voice, finally, back in her body. All she has to do now is to…

Give it back to me!!

The pain is searing and it’s hard to think clearly, but one though is strong enough to pierce through it all.

“I’m not going to let you take over!”

“Serena?!”

She rises her hear to see an obviously concerned Kurosaki.

“Do it!” She yells at him, about to throw her own cards to the ground. “Finish this off!”

The voice screeches and burns inside his mind, claws its way out of a bottomless pit, everything burns burns burns.

He nods, takes a breath, and screams, “Revolution Air Raid!”

 And like it did the first time they saw each other, exchanged what could barely qualify as words, bombs explode to destroy their common enemy. Every single parasite on her field disappears in a blaze, the sky turns white. She almost loses consciousness, doesn’t withstand the knockback of the wind; but gets up soon enough, ignoring tremors in her legs, to at least realize something has moved inside her head.

She can’t quite worry over that yet however, because as soon as Cross-Over disappears, he falls to his knees.

 As if she hadn’t spent so long in her own pain, she rushes to his side, legs lighter than a feather. She doesn’t catch him per say, but decides to support him, concern tainting her every thought. From up close and through her own eyes, it’s evident that he’s taken quite the beating, a bruise already blossoming on the side of his neck and leftover hints of half-healed injuries speckle the few parts of his skin he leaves visible.

“Are you okay?” She asks, frantic, afraid she’ll lose him again.

Kurosaki doesn’t reply, exacerbating her pulse, but she soon feels something getting pulled from her ear. To her shock and disgust alike, through another dizzy spell, she watches him splatter an enormous bug under the sole of his shoe.

“You’re back, Serena?” He asks, his voice even raspier than it was before.

“Y-yeah. I was… controlled by that thing, wasn’t I…?”

“I think so, yeah. Scared the shit outta me.”

 She too has trouble getting her breath back, but before she loses all strength, she drags the both of them to lean against the nearby wall. Exhaustion is sitting heavy on her limbs, despite an urge to keep on – and she can only guess Kurosaki, because he’s struggling to get up yet trying so hard to, is feeling the same.

It’s always been difficult to know what he thinks, because he’s so quiet, so closed-off and so off-limits to everyone but two people he hasn’t found again yet. What is even going through his mind, right now?

Wait, did he just say he was scared?

 “You didn’t seem like it, though… Scared, I mean.”

“Only when you pushed me off the edge. After that, I was just focused on getting you back.”

His voice is gravely, his head is lulling on his shoulder, and it’s all too close to her, too warm, too welcoming. They’re soldiers in the jaw of the enemy, goddammit, is she this tired—

“Why didn’t you give up on me? I almost killed you, Kurosaki.”

He gives her one long, tired stare.

“You weren’t yourself.” He looks to the side next. “I wasn’t going to lose someone else again.”

“Am I really this important to you…?”

“What do you think the answer to that is?”

Dumb question… but it’s such a hard thing to believe. God, he surely sees her as his sister, or as a placeholder for her until Ruri is safe and sound again, that’s got to be it. She isn’t naïve enough not to know that now, that the world has never revolved around her and especially not his. (If only it didn’t hurt to think about).

“It’s hard to know, with you. I was your enemy at some point. You hate Fusion.”

“You’re not responsible for my homeland’s destruction, nor for Ruri’s disappearance. That doesn’t matter anymore.” He smiles a little, sends her back to flutter. “Plus, you did save me before. I was only paying you back so I don’t owe a debt.”

“We’ve talked about that, didn’t we? I was only seeking you for my own selfish gain. I said awful things to you, parading them as truth. I wasn’t exactly doing you a favour.”

He frows so, so deeply.

“Can’t you accept that I give a shit about you, or do I need to break a rib again?”

 Her blood immediately ices over, adrenaline replacing it shortly thereafter.

“Did I break something?!”

“I don’t know,” he says with an undignified uncertainty that doesn’t sound like him and stabs her as a result. “It’s not like I was in that good of a shape before coming here.”

Right, the debris, the rushed recovery process, the turmoil of questions never answered… No rest, all stress. It’s taken its toll on all of them.

“I’m sorry. It’s my fault if you’re in that state.”

“Skip the apology. I don’t want to hear it.”

“If I had been stronger, I wouldn’t have been infected by that… parasite.”

Vague memories she wants to ignore of a crazed man inserting something inside her mind, shivers that follow. It only ends when she feels pulled to him.

“I’m just glad you’re not gone.”

She nuzzles closer, for a moment uncaring of the dimensions, the Professor, the Lancers – all that matters is that they now breath together, that she doesn’t hurt him anymore, that they’re companions once more. It’s selfish. It’s insane. It’s easy.

“I’m relieved to see you again,” is all she replies. “We should… get going, though, shouldn’t we?”

“We should, yeah.”

She gets up, still dizzy and dazed, but nonetheless stable enough to give him her hand with a smile of her own. To her relief and joy alike, he gives it back to her as he takes it, gets to his own feet… and tilts forward just enough for her to catch him in her arms. If their worlds weren’t at stake, at the moment, she’d have relished in it, or let herself get overwhelmed by so much touch, so much closeness.

“I’ll support you,” she says, unsure of the extent to which she means it.

“I guess it’s fine, if it’s you.”

 She doesn’t comment on it, yet in silence can barely contain all of the thoughts that dance through her mind. Instead, like the level-headed companion she wants to be, she pushes that aside and focuses on the way his arm sits on her shoulder, of the one she has wrapped around his wrist, and not to aggravate his breathing. She can decide what to do with her feelings once everyone is safe and back home, when she won’t have to feel bad after a moment of reprieve. For now, they have a world to save.

And there’s nobody she wants to do it with more than the guy who’s just saved her.

[the-red-mafia]

The Swap

When Zaeor messes up a protection spell for the mansion, the Red Mafia's souls end up getting mixed up. Shenanigans ensue, but will they be able to return to normal?  And what will they find out about each other?

A/N: Our schedule got messed up, so we'll be posting a story next Saturday, 12/17, to get back on track.

MAJOR TW FOR SELF-HARM FOR THIS STORY

Also available on Wattpad: https://www.wattpad.com/user/TheRedMafia

Next Update: [Updated] Word Count: 3804

2 weeks after “The Reunion”

“Ok so explain to me one more time what happened Zaeor?” The god sighed, looking around the living room at the three red mafia members in front of him. 

“My spell went wrong and instead of improving the mansion's defenses, it caused your souls to switch bodies. There’s not much more to explain.” Thorn’s body narrowed its eyes at him. 

“How exactly do you mess up a spell that badly?” 

“I don’t know Solana, I don’t know.”

“Well, I hope you have some way to fix it,” Maroon’s body chimed in, crossing their arms. 

“What Maroon- no, what Thorn said. Fuck, this is so confusing!” Thorn’s body, being controlled by Solana, yelled out, throwing its arms up in the air. 

“Careful Solana, don’t hurt my body,” Thorn scolded in Maroon’s voice. 

“I, for one, am very uncomfortable with this situation,” Velvet’s voice chimed in from on the couch, the slightest inkling of a British accent being heard. 

“We all are Maroon, we all are,” Zaeor muttered. Thorn stifled a laugh.

“I gotta admit, I’m glad Maroon’s accent translated to Velvet’s voice. British Velvet is very amusing,” they said, smirking. 

“Oh, don’t like the idea of Maroon smirking,” Solana muttered. Zaeor sighed and shook his head slightly. 

“I understand this situation is very stressful. I’m going back to my home to work on a solution, but I need you three to find Mad and Sol- Mad and Velvet and explain to them what’s going on.” The trio nodded and Zaeor waved his hand, disappearing into a cloud of shadows. 

“Solana, where were you headed?” Thorn asked. 

“To my room, I had just opened the door.”

“So that means Mad’s in Solana’s body?” Maroon began, “And Velvet’s in Mad?” Thorn’s body nodded. 

“I’m headed up to my room to get Mad, you two should go find Velvet. Gods know what chaos they’ll get into.” 

“It is so weird to see myself talk,” Thorn muttered, shuddering. Solana rolled his eyes. 

“I have to go see Mad, the robot, in my body. You’ll get over it.” 

Solana walked up the stairs and turned towards the West wing. 

“Mad?” They called out in Thorn’s voice, “You over here?” They quickly looked around the small indent in the wall where their door was and saw their body sitting on the floor in front of the door. As soon as they stopped their body looked up at them and let out a small shriek, causing Solana to jump a little as well. 

“Woah-”

“Who are you?!” Their voice demanded, sounding somewhat different than normal. Solana tipped her head, well, Thorn’s head in confusion. 

“Huh? It’s me, Solana. Well- I’m in Thorn’s body but that’s a whole different story.” 

“What?!”

“Look Mad, I understand that this has to be insanely disorientating-”

“Mad? Who’s Mad?” Solana’s eyes widened and they looked down at their body for multiple minutes. 

“If you’re not Mad, who are you?”

“My name is Dr. Eleanor Valentine, who are you?”

Velvet was not enjoying their current experience. 

Trust me, I’m not either, a voice, from what seemed to be the back of Velvet’s mind, replied. They groaned. 

“Shut up Mad!” Velvet shouted, the sound becoming slightly distorted due to Mad’s speakers. Velvet groaned again. 

This fucking sucks, she thought, I can’t feel any part of my body, my voice sounds like stupid fucking Mad’s, and the stupid robot can hear my fucking thoughts!

I’m not stupid, the voice answered, I’m a robot, that’s not possible. 

Shut up! 

“Velvet?” the faint voice of a non-British Maroon called out from down the hallway, “Are you over here?” 

“I don’t know, am I?” They shouted back sarcastically. 

“They’re over here Maroon!” 

Wait, wasn’t that Maroon speaking? Velvet thought, sitting Mad’s robot body down on the floor of the hall. 

If your soul got switched here it makes sense that everyone else's would've too, that’s probably someone else in Maroon’s body. 

You are so annoying, oh my gods. I can figure shit out on my own. 

` If you insist. Maroon quickly popped their head around the corner.

“Hey Velvie,” they said, smirking. 

“Shut up. Since when did you call me that?”

“Oh, it’s Thorn. Everyone’s souls have been swapped.”

“How the fuck-” Velvet’s body quickly joined Maroon’s and smiled at her. 

“Hey Velvet!” a slightly-British sounding Velvet said cheerfully. 

“That’s Maroon by the way,” Thorn clarified. 

“Yeah, I guessed that. Don’t do that with my body, that looks so fucking weird.”

“Do what?”

“Smile.”

“Calm down emo,” Thorn joked, “Why’s the screen acting like that?” Velvet tilted the T.V. head slightly. 

“What’s it doing? I can’t see it.” 

“It’s like…glitching. Almost like one of those old static TVs,” Maroon chimed in. 

What? It’s never done that before… Velvet cringed inside their mind. 

“Ok Maroon, I’m gonna need you to just. Stop talking.” 

“Sorry.”

“Stop.”

“Ah! Sorry-”

“Maroon!” Thorn let out a sigh. 

“Velvet, can you walk?” they asked, turning to look at the body of Mad.

“I make no promises. Mad’s limbs are so…lanky.”

My limbs are tactically designed, not “lanky”. 

“Shut up!” Velvet yelled, placing the robotic hands on the TV. Thorn raised an eyebrow. 

“Nobody said anything?” Velvet sighed and shook the TV. 

“Not you, Mad. They’re being fucking annoying.” Maroon and Thorn looked at each other and then back at Velvet. 

“Mad’s…still there?” Thorn said cautiously. 

“Depressingly.” 

I apologize. 

“But how’s that possible?” Maroon began, making Velvet cringe once more, “Mad’s supposed to be in Solana’s body?” 

“I can guarantee they are not,” Velvet muttered. Thorn narrowed Maroon’s eyes. 

“Then who’s in Solana’s body?”

“You’re…who?” Solana watched as their body narrowed its eyes at them. 

“Dr. Eleanor Valentine, Head of the AET Rescue and Reconnaissance Department.”

“Wait, what?”

“Answer my question.” Solana stared blankly at their body, blinking a few times before speaking. 

“Uhm,” they began, “My name is Solana Roison.”

“Where am I?”

“The Red Mafia’s HQ.”

“What is this ‘Red Mafia’ and why do I look like this? What happened to my ears?”

“Solana!” Velvet’s voice called out. Maroon quickly appeared in the hallway, panting. 

“That’s not…they’re not…” Solana rolled her eyes. 

“That’s not them? Yeah, I’m well aware.”

“What is going on?” Solana’s voice yelled, scooting back even more so their back was pushed against a wall, “Who’s that?” Solana sighed and turned back to face the scientist. 

“Dr. Valentine, everything is going to be ok. Please take a deep breath and calm down.”

“I am calm!”

“Wait,” Maroon mumbled, “Dr. Valentine, like-”

“Yes,” Solana whispered, “Doctor, there are a few things you should know. Firstly, you are in the year 2364.” Elanor’s eyes widened. 

“That’s…that’s not possible! Just this morning it was 2052!”

“What exactly do you remember?” Elanor appeared deep in thought for a few moments. 

“I was on a rescue mission with my rescue bot, M.M.A.D. or Mad for short. We were headed to investigate a spaceship crash and…” Solana’s face scrunched up and their body grabbed at its stomach, “I’m dead! Is this the afterlife? I-I-”

“Dr. Valentine, please take a deep breath,” Solana said, placing a reassuring hand on their shoulder. Elanor took a few deep breaths and placed his hands on his head. 

“I-I don’t understand,” The scientist mumbled. Maroon knelt down and looked at Elanor. 

“It’s a bit complicated, but I’ll try to explain it. Your physical body did die, but your soul remained and combined with Mad’s AI. This allowed them to gain sentience and live on. Now, all the souls in our group have been mixed up, which is why you’re an elf.”

“Mad…it has my soul?” Elanor mumbled, placing their hand over their chest. Maroon nodded, a slight smile on their face. 

“...Can I see them?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Solana chimed in, “Due to the soul swap, Mad’s body is inhabited by Velvet, one of our teammates. She can be a bit…difficult at times.” Elanor looked sad but nodded. 

“Ok, I understand.” Solana looked down at his body sympathetically.

“I could show you some photos of them on my cell phone? Their room is also nearby, would you like to walk over there?” Elanor’s face lit up and they quickly stood. 

“I’d love to!” the doctor said, before looking up at Solana, “...this body is quite short.”

“Hey!” Maroon also stood and smiled. 

“Well, I should go back to Thorn and Velvet,” they said, turning to leave. Solana grabbed their hand and spun Maroon back around. 

“Wait, give me a sec,” they said, “Dr. Valentine, could you hand me the cell phone in the left pocket of that coat you’re wearing?” Elanor slipped Solana’s hand into the pocket and quickly gave it over. 

“Here, and please, call me Eleanor.” Thorn’s head nodded and they turned back to Maroon, opening their phone. 

“Ok, do that again.”

“Do what?” 

“Smile, I want a picture.” Maroon tilted Velvet’s head in confusion. 

“Why?” 

“Blackmail.” Maroon sighed. 

“Velvet will kill me.”

“I’ll protect you, now smile.” Maroon rolled their eyes and smiled. Solana quickly snapped a photo and chuckled evilly. 

“Thank you for your assistance Maroon,” she said before turning back to Elanor, “Now, follow me…”

Thorn quickly glanced towards the sound of crashing. Mad’s body remained seated on the floor near the Madbay, but also turning towards the noise. 

“Maroon?” Thorn called out, “Is that you? You ok?” Ae heard a faint “Yeah” from the direction of the staircase. A few moments later, Velvet’s body popped up in the corridor. 

“What the fuck did you do to my shirt?” The robotic voice demanded. Maroon jumped a bit then looked down at Velvet’s outfit. The left arm of the turtleneck had been torn in half and a bruise had begun to form on Velvet’s left knee. The tear was on the top part of the sleeve, causing the fabric to droop down from about halfway up the forearm.

“I fell down the stairs and the shirt got stuck on one of the banisters, sorry.”

“It’s always my orange turtlenecks…” Velvet muttered, “Whatever, go change it.”

“Uhm-”

“There’s a shirt underneath the turtleneck, gods. Just grab the black hoodie off my bed and use that.”

“Can’t I just keep it on? It’s not that bad-” 

“No!” Velvet shouted hastily, earning confused looks from her teammates, “Just go change it, Maroon.” 

“Before you go,” Thorn chimed in, “What’s up with Mad?” 

“Oh, that. When Mad’s soul went to Solana’s body their creator seemingly regained consciousness? I’m not sure.”

Does that mean-

Mad. Shut.

“How is that possible?” Thorn asked. Maroon shrugged.

“No idea.” 

Elanor is upstairs?

Mad if you don’t shut the fuck up I will shut this body down. 

That would turn you off too.

So be it, if it shuts you up.

“So where are they now?” Thorn asked, leaning maroon’s body against a wall. 

“Going to Mad’s room so Elanor can look at some of Mad’s stuff.”

Tell them to look in the drawers, Elanor’s old journals are in there. 

“Mad said to tell them to look in some drawers, something something old notebooks,” Velvet relayed. Maroon nodded and gave them a thumbs-up, which caused Velvet to cringe once more. 

“Can Mad not speak?” Thorn asked. Velvet shrugged. 

“I’m sure they could, but I’m not letting them”

“Ah.”

Can you ask them why they didn’t bring Elanor here? Velvet mentally groaned, but repeated the question.

“With Velvet in control of Mad’s body, Solana decided that it wasn’t the best idea.”

“Hey!” Velvet protested, “I’m not that bad!” Thorn laughed. 

“You are that bad, Velvie.” Velvet kicked one of Mad's legs forward, connecting with the feet of Maroon’s body and causing Thorn to fall to the ground. 

“Velvet!” Maroon called out, extending a hand to help Thorn up. 

“What? He deserved it.”

You’re hurting Maroon’s body, not Thorn’s. Don’t hurt Maroon just because you’re mad at Thorn. Velvet paused for a second as Maroon helped their body stand once more. 

“...Sorry.” Thorn smirked. 

“Did Velvet Bolton just apologize to me?”

“Don’t get used to it, frūx.” 

“I’m honored.”

“Shut up.”

Maroon slowly opened the door to Velvet’s bedroom and walked inside. The teen shut the door and looked around for the black hoodie Velvet had instructed them to retrieve. Maroon walked over to the bed and picked up the fabric, smiling. In one swift motion, they began to pull the orange top off of the body. Maroon felt a slight pain in their left forearm as they threw the turtleneck onto Velvet’s bed. They looked down to see various red, irritated cuts in Velvet’s skin. Their eyes widened as they sat down on Velvet’s bed, placing the arm on their lap. 

“What the…” Maroon mumbled, looking down at the wounds. There seemed to be various specks of dirt in and around the cuts. Maroon wiped some of it away, wincing in pain. There were other ones too, although they seemed to be healed.

Where did Velvet get these wounds? Maroon thought, staring at the arm, And why are they so dirty? The teen winced in pain again as they moved the arm. 

“Ow,” they said quietly, looking at the cuts again, “Is Velvet in this pain all the time? Why haven’t they said anything?” It took them a couple of minutes to get the black hoodie onto their lap with the on-and-off pain from the wounds. They closed their eyes for a moment. When they opened them, however, they were no longer in Velvet’s grayed-out room. Instead, they were seated on the floor of the West corridor, where they had found Mad’s body. Zaeor was standing in front of them, smiling warmly. 

“Welcome back, Maroon,” the god said happily, holding a hand out to them. Maroon jumped slightly, but eventually took his hand and stood up. 

“So you found a way to switch us back? That was fast.” Zaeor laughed as the sounds of Mad booting up echoed around them. 

“We got lucky that the spellbook holding the original spell was aware of its similarity to another and took the proper precautions. There was a counterspell in the back of the book that I missed on my first read-through.”

“Ah.”

“Oh thank god,” Mad’s voice exclaimed. Zaeor and Maroon both turned to the robot, who was still sitting on the floor against the wall. Zaeor chuckled and extended a hand to them as well. 

“Hello Mad, how are you feeling?” Mad’s screen went blank and it slowly stood, avoiding Zaeor’s hand. The god frowned. 

“Mad, listen-” 

“I don’t want to talk to you right now, Zaeor,” they said in a monotone voice before turning to Maroon, “Are you ok, Maroon?” 

“Mhm, I’m fine. Are you alright?” A smiling emoticon overtook their screen.

“I’m fine! Sharing a body with Velvet is just…a bit jarring, that’s all. Especially when they’re freaked out, apparently.” Maroon gave them a confused look, which they responded to with a laugh.

“Velvet may try to appear stone-cold and such, but they got really freaked out by the body swap.”

“What about me?” Velvet’s voice called from the end of the hallway. The three people jumped slightly before turning to look at her. She had finished putting on the black hoodie and walked down the corridor towards them.

“Jeez, Velvet,” Zaeor muttered, “Didn’t even hear you come down the stairs.” They scoffed. 

“You’d think you of all people would be used to this by now.” 

“Yeah, that’s fair.” Velvet looked at their teammates, locking eyes with Maroon. Their expression remained blank, but it sent a chill down Maroon’s spine. The younger teen stared at her for a few seconds before smiling nervously. 

“H-how are you feeling, Velvet?” 

“Fine. I have to talk to you.” 

“A-alright.” A question mark appeared on Mad’s screen. 

“About what?” it asked. 

“None of your business, Mad,” Velvet replied, not breaking eye contact with Maroon, “By the way, you’re a snarky bastard when you don’t have your soul.” Mad laughed, the smiling emoticon returning to the screen. 

“I was told that a few times during my development.” 

“Snarky Mad?” Zaeor joked, “That I would like to see.” Mad shook their T.V. head at the god. 

“Unfortunately for you, Zaeor, I don’t plan on losing my soul anytime soon.” 

“Right, of course.” 

“If you two are done,” Velvet interjected, stepping forward and grabbing Maroon’s wrist, “We’re leaving. Mad, can you check on the others?” 

“Woah, wait, are you sho-”

“Shut it. And tell Thorn to leave us alone and not immediately come to find Maroon like a lost puppy. We’re gonna be a bit.” Mad let out a sigh and turned to watch the two of them walk in the opposite direction.

“I don’t think comparing Thorn to a puppy is fair.” 

“Woah, that’s crazy ‘cause I didn’t ask.” Zaeor stifled a laugh as the two teens disappeared. Mad turned on their heels and walked towards the stairs, ignoring him. Zaeor watched it leave before sighing. 

That’s going to be an issue.

Solana quickly blinked and looked down to see their own body below them. 

“Oh thank gods,” The elf muttered, sighing. Thorn’s body quickly opened its own eyes as well and smiled. 

“It worked!” ae said, looking at Solana. 

“Zaeor figured it out then?” 

“Mhm, how’d things go with Dr. Valentine?” Solana sighed again and picked a book up from beside Thorn. 

“I didn’t think a single human being could be that passionate about science but here we are.” Thorn laughed. 

“That bad huh?”

“It’s clear where Mad’s personality comes from now, that’s for sure.” Thorn stood up and held their hand out to Solana. 

“I suppose we should go meet up with the others then?” The elf groaned, taking his hand. 

“And deal with the tirade of Mad’s questions? No thanks, I’ll go hide outside.” 

Velvet and Maroon slowed near the fence that surrounded the mansion’s grounds. Not that it had anything to keep out, considering the planet was completely barren aside from the building. A few pieces of red dirt flew into the air when they stopped, swirling around them before settling back down. Velvet looked around them before crossing their arms and looking at Maroon. The younger teen grabbed the cuffs of their sweater sleeves, avoiding Velvet’s gaze. She raised an eyebrow. 

“Well? I know you saw them.” Maroon let out a nervous chuckle, still staring at the ground. 

“Y-yeah, I did.” Velvet sighed, dropping their arms. 

“I’m not mad, Maroon. I told you to go change anyways, I knew what I was risking.” Maroon finally looked at them. 

“I get why you wanted me to now,” they muttered. Velvet laughed and leaned against the white fence. 

“Yea, it was my only option. Didn’t want Mad to see them.” Maroon joined them at the fence. The two of them sat in silence for a minute or so before Maroon dared to speak up again. 

“S-so,” they stuttered out, “Where did they come from?” Velvet looked up at them. 

“You couldn’t tell?” Maroon shook their head. 

“Was I supposed to be able to?” Velvet stared at them for a few seconds before laughing again. 

“I should’ve guessed,” they mumbled, slightly shaking their head, “In that case, they’re just battle scars. A few of them reopened this morning and I haven’t had the time to patch them up yet, with the mission and then the swap and all.” Maroon looked towards the ground and held their breath. 

“But there were so many on just your arm,” they said quietly, “Who attacked your arm that much?” Velvet was quiet for a moment, looking back at the ground. Maroon turned their head towards them, watching. After a minute or so, Velvet sighed.

“...myself?” she muttered quietly. Maroon’s eyes widened. 

“...what do you mean?” 

“Listen, Maroon,” Velvet stated, pushing herself off of the fence, “You can’t tell anyone. Not Mad, not Thorn, no one.” 

“When you said yourself, you didn’t mean-” 

“Maroon.” The two made eye contact again. Velvet stared down at Maroon since they were still leaning on the fence. After a few seconds, Maroon blinked and looked away. 

“This really isn’t any of your business,” Velvet began, crossing their arms, “If I had my way, you wouldn’t even know and we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

“Does anyone else know?” Maroon asked, still looking away. Velvet paused for a moment. 

“Zaeor does, technically. Although he thinks it's not a problem anymore.”

“But it is,” the younger teen mumbled, standing up. Velvet narrowed her eyes at them. 

“I guess. I don’t consider it a problem, but sure.”

“Velvet-”

“This isn’t something you have to fix, Maroon,” Velvet stated coldly, “I don't want you to get it into your head that you have to help, like you do with other people. Just…forget you ever saw them. It’ll be easier for both of us that way.” Maroon looked at them. On the surface, their expression was still blank. However, their eyes were softer than they had been before, in an almost pleading manner. Maroon was quiet for a moment before sighing. 

“Alright, I understand.” 

“Hey, you two!” a voice shouted from the door into the mansion. Velvet groaned and spun around, a glare on their face. 

“Gods, you just don’t know how to listen to instructions!” Thorn laughed as he walked up. 

“No, I just don’t care about yours.” Maroon smiled at Thorn when they stopped in front of them. 

“How are you doing, mushroom?” they asked, grabbing their hand. 

“I’m good.”

“What were you two talking about, anyways?”

“None of your business, Thorn,” Velvet snapped, “Which is why I told you to wait. Not everything concerns you, asshole.”

“Well, considering this involves leaving Maroon alone with you,” Thorn hissed, “I couldn’t, in my good conscience, let that stand.” 

“Whatever, we’re basically done anyway,” Velvet turned back to make eye contact with Maroon, “This stays between us.” 

“I know.”

“I mean it.”

“So do I.” After a few seconds of silence, Velvet sighed. 

“Okay, have fun doing whatever it is you two do,” she said, “I’m going to try and catch Zaeor before he leaves.” 

“Oh yeah, he told me to tell you to find him after you were done,” Thorn called out as they began to walk away, “Guess that works out.” Velvet turned so that they were walking backward, facing the duo.

“He let you interrupt us?” 

“He couldn’t really stop me, to be honest.”

“Of course,” she said through gritted teeth, turning back around, “Whatever, I’ll go talk to him.” Maroon watched as they slightly adjusted their left sleeve and walked into the house. Thorn looked at them, a frown on aer face. 

“What was that all about?” it asked, grabbing Maroon’s other hand. Maroon made eye contact with them before letting out a small chuckle. 

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

[chibinightowl]

Jason isn't exactly sure why Dick is knocking on the door to his tower. And he especially isn't sure why he's carrying a large canvas sack that won't stop moving and from which the most gods-awful noises are coming from.

"Let me guess," he says as he opens the door wider. "The gremlin got turned into a cat."

"Nope!" Dick is a little too cheerful about whatever is in the sack. "This is your problem now." He shoves his bundle into Jason's arms. "Have fun!"

Jason immediately flails as whatever is in the bag renews it's struggles even more fiercely. "What the fuck, Dickhead?"

"Just remember--he knows you didn't do it!" Dick calls out before the door slams shut behind him.

"Fucker." Tempted as he is to just drop the bag, whatever--or is it whoever--is in there probably won't appreciate being slung around like a sack of potatoes.

Instead, Jason holds the bag at arms length and carries it up four flights of stairs to his workroom. "Don't take this personally," he warns. Then he tosses the sack into the middle of the circle carved into the floor and activates the sigils.

There's a loud disgruntled honk and the loosely tied mouth of the sack erupts to reveal the most pissed off swan Jason has ever seen.

"Oh my gods." He just shakes his head and makes his way to the workbench to find something to reveal more details about the underlying spell. More trumpets echo around the chamber and Jason idly snaps his fingers to activate the silencing spell built into the circle. It's not that he won't help the swan, but it's easier when he's not bleeding from his ears.

When he turns his attention back to the circle and releases the silencing spell, the swan spreads its wings and hisses. The canvas bag has been shredded to pieces.

"Save it for whoever did this to you," Jason says, utterly non-plussed by the bird. "If I had to guess, someone has an unhealthy obsession with the Swan Princess and wants a beautiful, graceful, and fragile bride."

There's another hiss.

Jason's going to take that as confirmation. "Right then. Just stay there and don't move."

The swan obliges, even if it doesn't lower its wings.

Thankfully, the spell is a simple enough one and keyed to a stupid kiss, just like he expected. It doesn't take long to unravel and when he's done, there's a mop of black hair and a pair of very familiar icy blue eyes glaring back at him.

It's Tim, who in Jason's opinion is beautiful and graceful, but who's also more than willing and able to kill a man. And then bring them back to life just to do it all over again. Whoever did this to him is so screwed.

You don't piss off a necromancer.

Jason immediately lowers the wards and crosses the edge of the circle to kneel beside the man. He summons a soft blanket and gingerly drapes it over Tim's bare shoulders. Animal transformations often leave the person extremely sensitive and he doesn't want to overstimulate the former swan's nerves.

"You alright?"

Tim's ragged breathing slows and he tugs the blanket close, then he buries his face into Jason's shoulder. "I am now."

He sounds just as wrecked as he looks.

"Who did this?"

"Take one guess."

Jason doesn't need to. He already knows who has the most unhealthy obsession with Tim in the world and who'd love to put him in a gilded cage. "Do you need me to distract Bruce so you can kill him again?"

"That'd be nice." Tim sighs and wraps his arms around Jason's neck. "Can we go to bed first? I'm tired."

Jason presses a kiss into Tim's hair and scoops him up into his arms, blanket and all. "Sure thing, love. Sleep now, plot murder later."

When the sorcerer turned the swan into a woman, he was picturing someone beautiful, graceful, and fragile. What he got was someone beautiful, graceful, and very much willing and able to kill a man.