#also fixer tendencies i see you

[ellecdc]

HEY POOKIE!!!!

Could I request a fic with either poly moon water or poly marauders where reader has had mental health issues but they were getting better and then they slip back into them. This happens to me in moments and I have to remind myself that it’s part of my progress but it would be so nice if I had someone else to say it too. No pressure lovely!!!!

I ADORE all of your marauders work!! Like OML I never know how much I needed poly moonwater until youuuu❤️❤️❤️😘

hi babes! totally get where you're coming from re: mental health issues. It's a marathon, not a race. and I'm so glad you love moonwater! my evil plan of converting the entire fandom (lol) is succeeding. I opted to go with the marauders but it's quite sirius centric

poly!marauders x fem!reader who is struggling with her mental health

CW: non-sexual nudity [nothing is described], discussion of dark mental headspace and anxiety/depression [again, nothing is described]

You felt awful.

You knew the boys would be understanding, but it didn’t make you feel any better about your behaviour.

You’d found yourself slipping back into familiar and darker headspaces as of late, and though you couldn’t deny the disconcerting comfort that familiarity brought, you knew you couldn’t allow yourself to fully fall back into it; you worked so hard to move beyond this, and you had been doing so well.

It hurt worse now that you felt like you weren’t just disappointing yourself anymore, but also disappointing three other people who - for whatever reason - cared an awful lot about you.  

You’d been inching closer and closer to a panic all day and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed when you got home and pretend the world didn’t exist for a few hours days weeks. 

Those kinds of plans don’t work when you live with three other people, two of which have the tendency to coddle you.

You knew that irritability was one of the symptoms of your anxiety, but knowing that didn’t stop the sting of your words as they left your lips. 

James was too nice, too bright, too happy, too lovely. You felt like the polar opposite of your sweetest boyfriend, which made you feel even more disappointing than you already had. And Remus was a fixer; he had a tendency to see a problem and immediately start problem solving, but that’s not what you needed right now.

Of course, you didn’t say that.

Of course, you got angry and lashed out at them before storming off to your room and slamming the door.

What started off as feeling blue quickly spiralled into a low affect. Feeling low left you increasingly anxious. Your anxiety left you feeling disappointing and less than, which caused you to feel depressed. The more depressed you got, the more anxious you became. The more anxious you became, the more depressed you felt.

It was a vicious cycle and you were stuck in its seemingly never ending assault on you.

And now, you weren’t just depressed and anxious; you were also feeling terribly guilty and overwhelmed at the thought of having upset Remus and James. 

Remus, who only wanted to help, who only wanted you to feel better, who only wanted to care for you. 

And James, who only wanted to perhaps share a little bit of his joy with you on the off chance it could brighten your day.

You were awful.

Horrid.

You didn’t deserve them, and they didn’t deserve you - they deserved better. You deserved nothing.

You’re not sure how long you had been standing under the spray of the water with your head against the cool tile when you heard a gentle knock against the glass of the shower door.

You felt the irritability surge in your blood again at the intrusion of your pity party, but tried your hardest to take a steadying breath before you hummed a quiet “yeah?”

“Can I come in?” You heard Sirius’ voice ask from the other side, apparently having gotten home sometime during your meltdown.

He could, though you weren’t sure he should.

You were terrible after all.

Horrid. 

The glass door popped open and Sirius shoved his face in. You didn’t bother turning your face towards him but you could feel the questions permeating his being nonetheless.

“I’m coming in.” He announced, deciding on your behalf. 

You heard the sound of his clothes falling to the bathroom floor, and you knew if Remus were in here he’d be scolding him: “there’s a hamper right there, Sirius.” 

But Remus wasn’t here because you were awful and you couldn’t bring yourself to care about the sodding hamper nor Sirius’ clothes littering the floor.

Some of your steam escaped as Sirius opened the shower door fully and you were accosted with cool air that left your body covered in goosebumps. He corrected it quickly by standing under the spray with you and pushing his front up against your back, leaning his chin on your shoulder.

“Fuck, you take hot showers.” He commented.

Usually you’d laugh.

“Sorry.” You said instead.

He rubbed at your hips where his hands had fallen with his thumbs, eliciting another layer of goosebumps on your skin. 

“You’re not feeling too good, are you baby?” He asked quietly.

You let out an exhausted breath. “I don’t feel good; I’m no good.” You responded just as quietly.

Sirius ducked his chin down to kiss your shoulder before quickly replacing it.

“That’s not true.”

You didn’t respond, glad that the water streaming over your face hid the evidence of the tears escaping your eyes.

Wordlessly, Sirius pulled away and grabbed your shampoo, working it into your hair. You did nothing to help him in his task, keeping your head pressed against the shower wall as he lathered the soap on your scalp. He pulled the handheld down to rinse it out, paying special attention to point the spray away from your face since you didn’t seem too fussed over protecting your own eyes. He combed some conditioner through your hair and rinsed it out in much the same manner before grabbing a loofa and lathering body wash over your form.

“Sometimes it’s two steps forward and one step back.” He commented, finally breaking the silence that had long been only the sound of the water falling and each of your breaths. “But that still means you’re one step forward.”

A sob escaped you, causing Sirius to pause in his ministrations and pull you back into his chest again.

He didn’t say anything else; he knew better. Of course he would, Sirius sometimes understood this side of you better than the others did. Sirius had a tendency to fall into darker times too, also having a penchant for lashing out at those closest to him when things felt like too much.

He let you cry, standing under the likely too-hot-for-his-tastes water, as he rocked you back and forth with your head leaned back, resting on his shoulder as you faced toward the ceiling. 

“Do they hate me?” You whimpered eventually, trying to convince your lungs to take in slower, deeper breaths.

“Of course they don’t; you know they don’t.”

“Are they mad at me?”

You could feel Sirius shake his head, but he answered you verbally anyway.

“No, doll. They worry, is all.”

You didn’t like that. You didn’t want them to worry. “I’m fine.”

“I know you are.” He agreed readily. “They do too.”

You let that sit in the foggy air for a little bit.

“Do you know that?” He asked eventually.

“Know what?”

“That you’re okay? That you’re just fine?”

You thought about that for a moment. You were sad, and you were anxious, but were you fine?

You admitted to yourself you felt the familiar tendrils of your darker self pulling at you, but you could also admit it was different this time. You were better, you had been working hard, and most importantly, that hard work was paying off.

You may have been two steps forward and one step back, but you were still one step forward from where you started.

“You’re sure they’re not mad at me?” You asked instead, earning you a chuckle as Sirius turned you in his arms to hold your face between his hands. 

“No one is mad at you, love. I swear it. You are, however, very loved.”

You offered him the best smile you could muster and let him pull you forward for a chaste kiss. 

“Then… yes, I know I’m fine.” You agreed eventually, earning you a beaming smile from your boyfriend.

“Atta girl.” 

Your felt your cheeks heat up at the praise and pushed your forehead into his chest.

“Can we get out of this torture chamber, now? I swear this water is being heated by hellfire.” He joked, leaning around you to turn off the shower without your consent.

“It’s really not that bad.” You argued, earning you a scoff.

“I’m red, doll. The water has marred my skin, perhaps permanently.”

You continued arguing about proper shower etiquette as you rubbed lotion into your skin (and then into Sirius’ for his troubles [he really was sort of red]), and changed into your comfies.

You headed towards the living room before you remembered you were sort of ashamed with yourself for the way you had spoken to the other two boys, but Sirius didn’t allow you to hesitate in the hall as he caught your elbow when your steps faltered and ushered you into the room.

“Boys, we’re really going to have to do something about her shower habits.” He commented as if a) nothing had happened, and b) you weren’t even there. “I’m surprised she hasn’t completely melted her skin off." 

“Perhaps hot showers are how she gets so beautiful, Sirius, ever think about that?” James jested back, earning him an indignant scoff.

“Are you saying I’m not pretty, Jamie?”

“As pretty as Y/N?” Remus interjected, looking between the two of you as if assessing. “No, not at all.” 

“Well I-” Sirius began, but you interrupted.

“I’m sorry.”

Everyone’s shoulders fell as they turned to look at you, clearly willing to brush over the tension if that had been what you wanted.

“I was rude and irritable when I got home, and neither of you deserved that. I’m sorry.”

“Angel…” James started, opening his arms for you which you readily accepted and tucked yourself into his chest.

“I was never mad to begin with, but I’ll go ahead and forgive you right now if that’ll make you feel better, okay?” He murmured into your wet hair.

“Okay. Thank you.” You murmured back.

“You’re too sweet for us, dove.” Remus commented, moving to place a consoling hand on your back.

“I was the opposite of that earlier.” You chuckled at your own expense. 

“Please.” Sirius scoffed derisively. “These two are too nice, especially when you feel like shit; I’ve given them a far harder time than you have, dollface.” 

“It’s true.” James said quickly. “He once told me he’d rather have a cup of tea with his mother than snuggle with me when he was in one of his moods once.”

You gasped and looked at Sirius in horror. “You did not.”

Sirius, not at all guilty, shrugged nonchalantly. “Sure did, and I meant it too.”

“Oh come off it.” Remus chided, pulling Sirius into his side who broke out in a grin, effectively eliminating his earnest facade. 

“No, of course I didn’t mean it.” He relented, leaning further into Remus’ side. 

“I don’t like myself very much when I’m like this.” You admitted quietly.

“We’ll love you enough for all of us in the meantime then, yeah?” James asked, pulling you into his arms tighter.

“Just be patient with yourself dove, you’re much too hard on yourself. We’re here now and we’ll be here when you feel better too.” Remus added.

“Can’t get rid of us that easily, dollface.” Sirius concluded, shooting you a wink.

Two steps forward and one step back.

But you were still one step forward.

You knew you would make two more steps forward again soon.

[lu-is-not-ok]

horrid thought i had: if your theory on k corp hong lu being semi-conscious during stasis is right, does that not mirror carmen during lobotomy corporation?

...

Wait. Hold on. Wait. Wait hold on.

Ok, so here's the thing: For a while now I've already had a suspicion that Hong Lu's deal is like, way more important than he lets on.

This might sound like a conspiracy Game Theory Matpat rant, but here me out.

First of all, Hong Lu has this weird tendency to break patterns in much less obvious ways than the other suspicious Sinners, to the point it's been driving me insane?

Like.

Okay.

First.

Remember those promo PVs of each Sinner? And how each of them ended on a glimpse of their trauma and All of them either directly referenced a potentially traumatic event or had the Sinner sound distraught? Except for Hong Lu, who doesn't sound in any way distressed like the others did, and then after the game logo is revealed he asks if something he said was weird.

Like, sure, it does make sense for him to say that in context of what he says during that video, but isn't it so fucking weird that the one Sinner with a section in his promo that seems slightly off is also the one who asks if anything he said during that section was weird?

Second.

You know those intro segments during the prologue, that are also on the official limbuscompany.com website? The ones that offer managerial instructions for each Sinner?

Pay close attention to those. For every Sinner, these instructions specify how to deal with that specific Sinner's eccentricities.

Don't show Gregor your disgust. Wait for Rodya's bad mood to pass. Give Sinclair positive reinforcement. Wait patiently for Yi Sang to finish thinking. Look Ishmael's way for sound advice, but don't break her trust. Understand Heathcliff is simple-minded and contact HR if he causes problems. Play along with Don's Fixer act. Don't make Ryoshu breed personal resentment towards you. Give clear and concise commands to Meursault. Give Outis short replies of agreement but keep an eye on her. Simply nod and get it over with when conversing with Faust.

...But then there's Hong Lu's. Which says nothing how to deal with his eccentricities, but rather to not let Other Sinners get physical with him over them. It's not about keeping him in line, it's about keeping other people's reactions to him in line.

I want to note this especially because several other Sinners break patterns in their introductions as well. Meursault's is one sentence. Ryoshu and Outis have a warning. Don Quixote's particulars include a [REDACTED] on the website. Faust's directly asks the manager to fuck around and find out. However, the way Hong Lu's intro instructions break the pattern is the most subtle out of all of them, to the point I genuinely did not realize that was the case until I had read all of them over multiple times.

Third.

Hong Lu's Base E.G.O animation. If you watch all of the Base E.G.O animations in a row, you'll notice that for all of them, the Sinners start already in frame... Except for Hong Lu, who visibly jumps into the frame from off-screen.

Now, you could argue that, technically, Don runs into her animation from off-screen as well, however I think there is a bit of a difference here. Don's animation is too quick to see her actually run in. We see she's not there for maybe a frame, before she pops with an animation that implies she had just run in and needs to break her momentum. This is unlike Hong Lu's, whom we Actively See descend from Off-Screen.

Now, I know what some of you may be thinking.

That I am coping. That these are coincidences. That I'm looking too deeply into things.

However. Here's a connection that I just recently realized, that has been Fucking Me Up.

Mild spoilers for Canto IV and like the first two chapters or so of Dream of the Red Chamber, if anyone cares.

You know how Limbus Company has this... fixation on stars? There's the whole thing with Dante following a star, stars granting wishes, people turning into weird beings from wishing to be stars, and there's this general connection to the sky and space because of Demian also doubling as a reference to The Little Prince.

And then something weird hit me.

See, Dream of the Red Chamber starts with a bit of a backstory to the jade that would later be reincarnated into Bao-yu. You see, it was one of the many stones used by a godess to create the sky. However, this one specific jadestone ended up being the only one not used in that creation, which then led to it feeling horrible about itself, which then led to a monk and a taoist deciding to have that stone reincarnate as a human and live through a human life, kickstarting the rest of the novel.

I'm like, heavily simplifying this, but that's the gist of how that whole thing starts.

Which. Made me think. A jadestone that was part of the ones meant to build the sky, but ended up being left unused. The sky. Stars. Hong Lu being seemingly named after the jade rather than Bao-yu directly.

Holy shit there's no way they won't reference this in some way, right? Right?

So, now imagine me, at my fucking wit's end, having the biggest crackpot theory brewing in my mind.

And you send this ask comparing K Corp Hong Lu to Carmen.

I am going insane.

[sunrise-imagines]

can u do Hunson abadeer w/ reader please 👉👈 :3 I’ve only seen ONE fic of him 😭

Sure! This is certainly an interesting one, Hunson is a terrifyingly goofy guy and I had a lot of fun writing him!

Hunson Abadeer x Reader Relationship Headcanons

• Imma be real with you chief, he’s not a great romantic partner at first.

• Like at all.

• He’s selfish, entitled, and emotionally stunted in the sense that he literally doesn’t know how to empathize with others. That’s kinda just his nature.

• That’s not to say he’s completely incapable of changing and becoming a better person, just…he’s definitely a fixer upper.

• Doesn’t understand personal boundaries like private property or personal space, like he thinks everything you own is automatically also his and vice versa.

• He steals food (obviously), clothes, he’ll even use your toothbrush. You have to sit him down and explain to him what is and isn’t okay for him to take.

• Extremely touchy and clingy, he almost constantly has his arms around you in some way.

• He has a tendency to say and do things that sound completely insane, but it’s just how he rolls.

• For example, one time he wanted to tell you that you looked good, so he said, “ The way your flesh clings onto your bones is absolutely mesmerizing!”

• Another time he wanted to give you a gift, and he heard that most people like receiving flowers, so he sucked the souls of 100 roses and coughed them up in front of you.

• When things start to get more serious between you, he starts making a bigger effort to learn how to be a good boyfriend.

• He asks Marceline to give him tips on how to be a better partner, and as annoying as she finds him, she’s genuinely shocked and happy that her dad is trying so hard to be a better person.

• Until she catches him watching her and Bonnie sleep trying to study how couples should cuddle.

• After a lot of practice, he finally starts making some progress.

• He puts your needs before his own, takes time to listen to you and remembers what things you like and dislike.

• One fateful day, he takes both of your hands in his, and by his shaking you can tell how nervous he is.

• Through stuttering words Hunson tells you that before he met you, he thought he wasn’t capable of truly loving anyone but his daughter, but being with you has altered his perspective.

• Now he cares more about seeing you happy than himself, and that of all the souls he’s seen, yours is the most kind and gentle one he’s encountered.

• Before you can even process the sincerity of his words, he drops down onto one knee before you, taking out a small box from his pocket and opening it to reveal a black ring adorned with a glittering red gem.

• In his usual manner, he looks up at you smiling and asks, “Y/N, do you…want to do this marriage thing with me?”

• Needless to say, you said yes.

[aggravateddurian]

WIP Whenever

Tagged by @ghostoffuturespast, and I just realised @gloryride. Thank you!

I made new headers for my WIP Whenever posts! As you can already see, they're inspired by the display of the Pip-Boy and computer terminals from Fallout 3 and 4.

WARNING! LONG AND DETAILED POST AHEAD! MANY PICTURES INCLUDED!

Full post below the cut

Mostly VP related for Cyberpunk. Working on a 'fan novella' related to the changes going on with the crew, esp. with regards to the impending departure of Trey on his new journey, and the addition of Jakey to the crew. A lot of costuming updates and fixes for new and old characters alike as I work through and modernise NPV files and such with new knowledge.

VALERIE OCAMPO-GONZALEZ - APPEARANCE AND LORE UPDATE

I've given Val her glowing yellow iris rings back, as I believe that they're an essential part of her character design. I've also settled on her accent, it's somewhere between that LA Chicano accent and a general Filipina-American English accent. Val has a tendency to code switch mid-sentence, and subconsciously shift into Cebuano in high-stress situations.

DORIAN BAUTISTA - APPEARANCE UPDATE

I've also finally updated some of Dorian's appearances. It's been just over a year since I first made Dorian as an NPV and he's due for an update. I believe his 'Corpo Tactical' and 'Fixer' outfits are a lot better suited now. I can actually imagine Dorian as a background fixer NPC at the Afterlife, and not think he's out of place.

"mfw Meredith hits me with that 'enny store employment termination."

Dorian has crossed the Rubicon and gone full fixer. I've resurrected a plot point from the original Brother's Shadow storyline where Dorian is fired from Militech due to Meredith's machinations, and he and his colleague Kaylee Anderson end up going out on the edge, working for Nightowl, the always illusive and unseen man behind Val's crew.

JAKE McCORMICK - APPEARANCE UPDATE

Jakey's finally bought some new clothes! I thought one day he needed some Aviators, and from there I thought that he also needed a jacket. Hence, two new casual appearances. Then there's his 'business attire.' Jake found this surplus NCPD vest and duty belt, and now it's his standard 'work' attire. The Militech eyepiece was a gift from Nightowl for 'good work performance.'

Since I came up with the Buckeye Wasteland idea, I've since put that to the side as my thoughts about my Fallout OCs evolve. Firstly, let's talk about Laura West.

LAURA WEST - APPEARANCE AND LORE UPDATE

"The Volunteer"

The protagonist of my Fallout fanfic, Laura West is probably the last person you'd expect to become a wasteland adventurer. She's not particularly strong, she's not a crack shot with a weapon, and she's not particularly lucky. She has passable charisma and endurance, but where she really shines is her Intelligence.

Before being sent on an important mission to save Vault 53, Laura worked as a computer technician in the vault, a job she was fairly well-suited for. However, she was the last pick to be sent to find a reactor regulator for Vault 53's damaged fusion reactor.

Ezra, the Overseer's son, was better qualified, but the Overseer couldn't bear to send him out into the wasteland, so Laura volunteered to go in his place, to Ezra's horror, because Ezra has a thing for Laura (a feeling not reciprocated by our heroine).

EZRA JOHNSON - APPEARANCE

This is Ezra. Ezra's father is the Overseer of Vault 53, and as a consequence, he gets away with way more than most vault residents could ever hope to. He's not very intelligent, strong or charismatic, but he's a crack shot, has excellent endurance and the luck of the Irish. He could accidentally kill a deathclaw and be none the wiser.

Ezra works in the maintenance division in Vault 53, a vital position, given that everything in Vault 53 was designed by Vault-Tec to fail constantly, as part of the experiment to test how residents would respond to the constant stress of having to constantly work to keep the vault from failing. He is also a massive bookworm, and has memorised just about every volume of the Vault Dweller Survival Guide.

Ezra also has a thing for Laura, a feeling that Laura doesn't reciprocate.

Moving swiftly on...

I've been working on a short story set in the Freerunners universe, elaborating on our favourite definitely not Judy Alvarez-inspired space ranger starship pilot, Zoe Alvarado, and her past as a Confederation of Free Settlements Ranger. I really need to get all the Freerunners characters drawn, because I feel that just telling people about how they look isn't working. I will probably end up using Cyberpunk 2077 to visualise their faces for y'all, at least.

Cyberpunk RED: 2077 Edition - The Old Blood

Remember my Cyberpunk vampire shit from a couple months back? I know some of you remember that, before I took my hiatus and recovered from yet another work-related stress issue. Well, what I haven't shared is that it's been running as a Cyberpunk RED campaign!

My players have learned the dark secret of the Consortium Sanguinis, and one of them has been kidnapped! It's a race against the clock to save him (and his AI brain ghost) from the machinations of literal vampires who walk amongst us!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's about it. Thanks to all who actually read my yapping.

I'd like to tag three people, as I always do:

@chevvy-yates

@gloryride

@streetkid-named-desire

Feel free to join in if you want.

Thanks everyone.

[tianrenart]

Tuesday series writing thoughts

Sometimes I wonder if the direction my fanfiction is going will disappoint people, mainly because I end up writing from an odd perspective. In all honesty I don’t think I can bring myself to write Vox ever having subdrop in my Tuesday fic, despite people having hinted at wanting to see it. I don’t know what that is like and no amount of research and reading people’s experiences has allowed me to really understand what that is. I think there are also plenty of fanfics with a kinky spin that do actually address subdrop and subspace way better than I ever could. What I don’t see is doms being addressed. And as someone who had to spend many a year playing the hero, the rescuer, the fixer, the stoic problem solver, I do know what it feels like to drop from all the responsibility. The overwhelming need to protect, and keep someone you care about safe, while at the same time feeling like you are hurting them, and making things worse. The constant grasping for control, the need for everything to be perfect and taken care of. Th conflicting filling of wanting to hurt someone and cause pain, and how society sees that as monstrous. And of course the hypocrisy you feel when you are abused, and think you deserve it because of the dark tendencies you have. The idea that you are cruel and heartless, and deserve to be mistreated because you enjoy mistreating others. All these feelings I have not seen addressed in any of the fanfiction I have read, because most of the time they focus on the sub and the dom is just the pillar of strength that never crumbles.

Well sometimes strong controlling and confident people need to be held too. Sometimes they want to be told that they aren’t a monster and that they do have a heart despite what others think. And most importantly sometimes they just want the space to be vulnerable without being seen as losing control or weak simply because they needed to shed a tear.

[fiixer]

So, I've seen a couple comments on Jordi talking about him being a sociopath. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to sit here and say he isn't - to some degree, he is, but those comments also said that he was incapable of forming legitimate friendships, experiencing empathy/emotion, and all that. He's definitely hindered, there's no doubt about that, but that sort of comes with the job. You miss out on a lot of cash if you start bonding with the people you're meant to take out or feeling bad when a job is done. That's just bad business. And I think that's a big part of his deal: Jordi is his job. He has thrown everything he has into it, and now he's the guy to call when you need something. He's the guy people are scared shitless of. It worked out for him.

But, becoming that guy doesn't leave room for making friends. In fact, he probably has very few -- one, specifically: Aiden. That was probably never meant to happen. Jordi was hired by Aiden, then was contracted to take him out; that alone doesn't exactly spell budding friendship in the traditional sense. But then again, they're not traditional people. What they've created, bizarre as it is, works for them..but now, Jordi has to come to terms with it. He already acknowledged that Aiden was his friend, with only mild sarcasm, but now he has to deal with everything that comes along with it, and he doesn't know how.

Listen to Jordi's voice at the end of this call.

I left the clip longer, one to allow us all to enjoy Aiden's little laugh, but mainly to make my point. The way he talks to Aiden at the start, after Aiden first thanks him for everything, he's definitely caught off guard, and it shows. At the very end, though, there's a change. It's pretty subtle, but his voice changes from caught off guard to flustered. There's this telling little lilt in the last two things he says before he hangs up on Aiden. Tell me that's not a guy who is touched by a friend's appreciation; who is feeling the depth of it through and through, and is mad about it.

So, basically: Jordi does have tendencies consistent with that of a sociopath. People tend to cite the disregard for human life as the ultimate definitive proof of their point, but I think that's only the tip of the iceberg, as far as that bit goes. If you do something, anything enough times, you'll become more and more desensitized to it, and that's a huge part of what happened with him. He got involved with the Fixers, the Fixers tend to...you know, kill people, and the more he did it, the more numb he grew to the whole idea. Sure, some of his deal is just...Jordi, but that desensitization factors in, too. It literally is just business in his world.

BEFORE I CONTINUE RAMBLING, which I absolutely fkn can because i love this dude so goddamn much, I'm going to end on the note of, Jordi is obviously capable of some level of empathy - not to the same degree as most people, but still, it's possible - and he can form legit bonds with the right people.

The majority of folks just don't get to see that.

[writers-in-moominvalley]

💝Snorkmaiden and Love Life💝

Snorkmaiden is infamous for falling in love with man after man in the comic strip, deserting Moomintroll in the process.

However, today I will not be judging Snorkmaiden for the lack of simply dumping Moomintroll's butt so she doesn't have to deal with his violent jealousy that ruins nearly all her relationships, instead, I will be judging each character she fell for based on datability.

The list will be sorted in order of appearance, and will only extend to the comics Tove was involved with (every comic between Moomin and the Brigands and Fuddler's Courtship) simply because I do not have access to all of Lars' comics and narrowing it down to Tove's comics makes it astronomically easier for me to actually list these men, let alone judge them. I will also NOT be taking into account any of the adaptations of these characters, I will be strictly focusing on their comic appearances since taking into account THOSE versions of them will be taking into account alot of things that come with them and it would complicate the list even further.

-

And with that out of the way, let's start with Snorkmaiden's first (after Moomintroll);

Clark (Moomins on the Riviera)

Clark may seem like your archetypical douchebag celebrity at first glance but he is surprisingly one of the more kind men Snorkmaiden's had the.... (Dis)pleasure? Of falling for. "Honey" seems to be a default pet name he gives to women, although we don't see him call anyone else that (he calls Snorkmaiden honey even when they were complete strangers though).

Snorkmaiden and Clark seemed to have quite a bit of fun and Snorkmaiden had 0 conflict or complaints about him until he turned down her invitation to go swim when the Moomins left the hotel after his duel with Moomintroll. His apology gift for the declination was also very sweet of him so he seems to care about Snorkmaiden based on that.

We don't know much about Clark and can only speculate on his life and behavior based on his friend group and status, he could easily have turned sour if given enough time but using only what we know he seems like a good chap for a celebrity guy with poor taste in beach wear.

7/10

The Pirates (Moomin's Desert Island / Moomin Under Sail)

The only reoccurring interests, they really don't do anything as interests. Mymble and Snorkmaiden seemed to enjoy them for the idea that they're dangerous but quickly lose interest when presented with otherwise.

They are a clever sort, I'll give them that, they have made plans and those plans do succeed in the end which is more than I can say for the plans of most other characters, but they are definitely not worth engaging with on a personal level nor are they interested in such follies in the slightest. Bad news but fun to read about.

2/10

Mr. Brisk (Moomin's Winter Follies)

Mr. Brisk is definitely on the lower end of the ranks when it comes to datability. He's never interested in Mymble nor Snorkmaiden until he rides his victory high against Edward the Seal (and even then I doubt he saw them as more than fans) and overall he has this personality that is difficult to deal with on an interpersonal level (with his massive yet fragile ego, competitiveness, fixation on sports and s****dal tendencies).

He is not the WORST person in the world, objectively speaking, but he does not seem to be in any place to treat another person kindly in any respect. His sports moves may be impressive but he's like one of those celebrity sportsman who are only impressive in their field and are fun on a good day but you can't see yourself being real friends with, let alone dating.

2/10

The Fillyjonk (Moomin Begins a New Life)

He's definitely one of those fixer-upper types, I gotta say. His lack of agency when making plans with Snorkmaiden was one of her major complaints about him but that seems to be fixed when he formed a rivalry with Moomintroll, so there's definitely an obvious space for him to change, however I wouldn't call him a catch with the way he is. Even Moominmamma called him a wet (someone who doesn't have strong opinions or agency) and seemed worried for Snorkmaiden because of him.

He seemed attached to Snorkmaiden since he was bold enough to break into a Jeweler's to win her back but also he ditched her to "buy cigarettes" when a threat like "the Black Hand" (Moomintroll) presented itself.

Not a bad guy but not great either. Come back when you get go through some character development my dude.

4/10

The Nobleman (Snorkmaiden Goes Rococo)

He is... Hmm... He seems nice enough for a parody of a french nobleman but he doesn't offer much besides being needy and kind of dim. He is certainly nice enough to Snorkmaiden what with offer her a reward for saving him and inviting her to the King's dinner since he couldn't carry her on his horse, but he seems to prioritize his own needs and doesn't think for Snorkmaiden's wellbeing either.

He seems nice but not nice enough.

5/10

The Revolutionary (Snorkmaiden Goes Rococo)

Love his hair! Do not enjoy his personality. He is truly one of those bark and no bite preachers who make speeches upon speeches and poetry and songs about eating the rich but when it comes to actually doing anything about it he most certainly lacks and even acts cowardly towards the royal guards. He appreciated Snorkmaiden for her admiration for his writing abilities but he doesn't hold any regard for her suggestions or interests outside of that, not to mention his casual sexist comments towards her. He quite literally ditches her after being invited to the King's dinner in place of a revolutionary meeting, which is the most hypocritical thing he could've done and rightfully tipped Snorkmaiden over the edge to finally leave him.

His ideals are something that ought to be admired, of COURSE all men should be equal, but there are holes in his ideals and he simply does not act out what he preaches. Come back when your morals are less flimsy and tone down the sexism!

4/10

The Accountant Fillyjonk (the Conscientious Moomins)

He is straight up a very cute guy. He is very endearing and actually asked Snorkmaiden out on a date which is very rare for these fellows, and his passion for accountancy is something even Snorkmaiden admires. He was very eager to help but was rather oblivious at Snorkmaiden's coyness, though he was still very nice about it.

However, his one downfall was surprising Snorkmaiden with the gift of a cleaned typewriter which she devastatingly did not appreciate, but that's simply a matter of taste (I personally would've appreciated something like that).

A rare good fella. Wish his appearance wasn't so brief.

8/10

The Poet (Moomin Under Sail)

Hmm.... Mixed feelings on the guy, honestly. He is a stowaway leech to be sure but he does have some sincerity in his affection for Snorkmaiden among his plans to be the most comfortable person on the boat indulging in fruits and whiskey. But the Moomins' and Too-Ticky's disdain for him was not totally unfounded, he seemed a little too pretentious and a little too absorbed in his status as a poet which he believes gives him licence to laze about as he wishes.

Snorkmaiden's genuine devastation when he got carried away by the Niblings was heartbreaking to witness but the Moomins' indifference and even relief towards him by contrast was hilarious.

Still, he needs to get his act together and become a more independent guy if he really wants to up his datability rating.

6/10

Dr. Hatter (Fuddler's Courtship)

Hatter's a very... Interesting fellow, and Mymble and Snorkmaiden most certainly took that interesting-ness as a main vocal point of his appeal. As seen with Fuddler, he could easily become friends with someone if he dared, but his overwhelming paranoia and lack of competency in being a psychiatrist should probably be signs that he's not a good date, and I doubt he even is interested in the least. If a psychiatrist uses Freud as an exclamation that's probably a red flag in the kind of stuff he believes.

His personality shift into a physiologist seemed to have made him much friendlier and less skittish (neg. sense) but he became incredibly pretentious about medicine and such, you probably can't hold a very interesting conversation with him like before (which is probably why Mymble lost interest in his quickly).

He... Is there, certainly, but he's a pills-and-drops man now, not a dating man.

4/10

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Under the cut are the notes I've compiled about each character so you can make your own judgements on them without having to read the comments, let me know your thoughts! (Warning: it's long)

-

Clark

- Is introduced as one of Marquis Mongaga's friends who like the Moomins for being weird

- Invites Snorkmaiden to swim in the pool and lets her be when she declines due to a lack of bikini (he calls her honey already, could simply be an impersonal pet name)

- Next time we see him, he's swimming on the beach and recognizes Snorkmaiden ("Hiya, honey, haven't we met before?")

- They go boat skiing together in the background on the next panel with Clark riding the boat and Snorkmaiden doing the skiing

- Snorkmaiden calls him a "man of the world" when arguing with Moomintroll

- Clark asks Snorkmaiden if she always lives in luxury

- Appears awkward and avoidant when Snorkmaiden and Moomintroll start arguing in front of him

- MT calls out Clark and challenges him to a duel

- Clark and MT seem to be arguing in the background of the next panel

- Clark is then seen marching away in the next

- Unlike in the movie, Clark offers the fencing swords straight (100% sure the movie writers just did that choice fakeout to make Clark look alot worse)

- Clark calls MT a pipsqueak who can't even hold a sword properly and narrates his strategy

- He has terrible peripheral vision it seems (makes sense since he wears glasses)

- Clark gets hit in the head by MT off-screen and he looks like a kicked puppy when we see the aftermath

- Snorkmaiden goes to say goodbye to Clark and tells him about how she and the fam are living under an old boat now that she doesn't have money then invites him for a swim tomorrow, Clark politely declines saying he'll be very busy for some time and goes back to reading a newspaper

- Snorkmaiden declares that she hates him afterwards

- (after shenanigans before the Moomins finally leave) Mongaga gives Snorkmaiden a sort of..... Fur cape? Coat? Thing? Saying it's an apology gift from Clark for his rudeness since he felt a little unwell

- End of Clark's presence and the whole comic thereafter

The Pirates

(Moomin's Desert Island)

- The pirates are found drinking rum and eating from a bowl on the beach, they hear Mymble and Snorkmaiden nearby and one of them says "Halt! Who is giggling?"

- They seem stunned to see Snorkmaiden and Mymble in the next panel

- They get blown up by fireworks that MT lit trying to protect Snorkmaiden (since they were chasing after her and Mymble)

- They get injured and patched up by Snorkmaiden, Moominmamma then puts them to work by making them rebuild her rock garden

- They say they can't work without drinking rum

- They get to work and feel totally embarrassed about the job ("After this we can never be pirates again. How unmanly.")

- Moominmamma plants a little head kiss on one of them as a reward

- Snorkmaiden and Mymble lose interest because they aren't "cool" anymore

- They ask what the stone wall is for and then decide to plan a mutiny against the Moomins

- They steal their barrel of rum while the Moomins go diving and celebrate not having to garden

- The pirates stumble upon the Moomin ancestors transporting the crates of fireworks and assembling them into a large tower

- They run and warn the Moomins about the ancestors trying to blow up the island

- Island goes boom boom and it starts raining, which makes the Moomins miss home, so the pirates offer their rum barrel to cheer them up

- their presence in the comic ends

(Moomin Under Sail)

- They're reintroduced by having their and the Moomins' ships nearly hit eachother and Moominpappa and the pirates recognize eachother, much to the pirates' dismay.

- One of the pirates say this is the second ship the Moomins have sunk, Moominpappa justifies himself by saying he knows but THEY started it.

- They say that the least the Moomins can do is bring their loot aboard, Moominmamma then offers hot rum.

- Moomintroll tries to lift a heavy chest and asks if it carries cannonballs, one of the Pirates says it's just eight pieces of gold.

- Snorkmaiden opens a chest full of brocade and jewels

- The Pirates' ship goes up in flames and starts sinking while the silver treasure is still on board, Too-Ticky jumps in and one pirate mourns her death, saying she would have made a great buccaneer. The other one says she's found the silver and Too-Ticky hops back on the boat covered in soot

- One pirate orders Moominpappa to change course to some islands with rich prizes, Moominpappa retorts that it's his ship. The other pirate then replies that he's sunk their ship (revealed to be called the Bloody Mary) and Moominpappa folds to their orders.

- The Pirates happily drink inside the cabin while Moominpappa and Moomintroll sleep inside a tent on the deck, they complain about this.

- One pirate requests that they bring "the young wench, the buxom one" (referring to Snorkmaiden)

- Moomintroll tells Snorkmaiden to not dare go to the pirates and she replies "I dare, too!"

- Moomintroll laments about this

- Snorkmaiden dramatically declares that she is at their mercy, only for the pirates to ask her to darn their socks

- Next day, the pirates spot a merchant ship and make way to the cabin to get their firearms. Once they get inside Moominmamma locks them up and says she'll only let them out if they leave the merchantman alone

- Moominpappa offers to put them ashore, but they say that the ship is their prize

- One pirate says they can't go on like this and the other shushes him saying he has a plan.

- They talk outside the tent about their plan to slit the crew's throats that night, Moomintroll overhears them, tells Moominpappa about it while the pirates are sharpening their knives and the crew leave via life boat. The two look out the window and their plan to simply scare them off the boat with such a threat worked, much to their relief.

- Their presence in the comic ends.

Mr. Brisk

- Mr. Brisk is introduced after the Moomins jump out of the attic of their house and into the soft snow

- He introduces himself by greeting Moominpappa, saying a catchphrase, his name and the organization he works for (The Great Outdoors Association)

- He tells them about how he loves the cold weather ("Refreshing! Wholesome!") and invites them along, saying their days of leisure are gone (*I can sure say he's not good at marketing sports that much*)

- He tries to teach the Moomins how to ski but not very well

- He pressures Moomintroll into going down a large slope by asking if he's a cowardly weakling in a very ominous way

- He then says none of the Moomins seem to possess a natural talent for skiing, but then tells them to not feel intimidated as they're going to switch to skating

- After the Moomins fail, he suggests they go skate with a sail

- *Moominmamma asks the others if they think Mr. Brisk is given to them as punishment for their sins*

- Mymble gets introduced to him and gains a crush after witnessing him go ice lake diving

- He seems to turn into a detrimental influence on Mymble, seeing as she tries to learn how to skate, learned to "understand" that they are all "degenerate weaklings", and made a snow sculpture in his honor

- Mymble wears a pretty dress just for him and Mr. Brisk doesn't seem to care, practically ignoring her and then telling her it's not practical for skiing

- Moominpappa tells Brisk that there are no penguins or polar bears in Moominvalley and Brisk replies with "You wait!" and distributes the fliers for the winter games via birds

- Mymble discovers a natural talent for skiing, however Brisk somewhat waves her off by saying "Alright alright" and telling her about his interest in competition results

- He apologizes to Edward the Seal about the ski jump not being built for someone of his weight

- Snorkmaiden gains a crush on him after witnessing his ski jump

- Brisk loses to Mymble in the ski race and goes to sulk about getting second place and how his career/self-esteem is down the drain on the cliffside, Moomintroll nearly tries to kill him by jousting him off the cliff with a tree but doesn't go through with it because Brisk already feels like garbage

- Moomintroll tells Mymble where Brisk is and Mymble offers him the first prize trophy, Brisk declines saying she doesn't understand

- Mymble tells Edward the Seal to go against Brisk and go easy on him to restore his self-esteem, Edward agrees to this and after Moomintroll tells him about it Brisk says he shall live up to their faith in him

- Brisk and Edward get into a snowball fight with Bris being overly enthusiastic about it

- Edward buries him in snow but Brisk manages to get out of it and pin Edward to the ground so he can admit defeat

- Brisk "wins" and gets cheered on by everyone

- He starts hanging out with Snorkmaiden and Mymble alot until Stinky reveals the truth about the Edward situation

- Brisk's self-esteem collapses and in a rage he challenges Edward to a bobsleigh race and if Edward loses Brisk will tear him to pieces

- Brisk, as they are sledding down: "HONOUR OR DEATH!"

Edward: "You're an aaaasssss...."

- They both crash into the snow, Edward asks Brisk if he's alive and Brisk challenges him to ice skating

- Edward break the ice and forfeits out of frustration, leaving Brisk feeling hollow inside

- The girls are trapped on a floating ice sheet and call for Brisk to save them, Brisk ignores them and goes to the cliffside to attempt suicide

- He actually goes through with the attempt but causes an avalanche in the process which lets him survive

- Brisk unburies everyone (except Stinky) from the snow, not out of the goodness of his heart for these weaklings but because a little exercise wouldn't hurt

- Brisk is honored as a hero, laurels and everything

- Brisk promises Edward he'll get his revenge next year

- Mymble asks Brisk to dance with her but he declines, saying dancing is a futile sport

- He apparently "went back to the North Pole" after Mymble leaves feeling dejected

- Brisk's presence in the comic ends and so does the comic thereafter

(He gets mentioned in Moomin Winter and Snorkmaiden Goes Rococo afterwards)

The Fillyjonk (Moomin Begins a New Life)

- Is introduced after Moominpappa and Stinky enter the party with their undiluted moonshine, Moominpappa notices Snorkmaiden with a new interest and asks "What will Moomin say?", to which Snorkmaiden replies "I've started the new free life, and so have you!"

- Snorkmaiden and the Fillyjonk seem to have been in the middle of dancing in this exchange, with the two holding eachother.

- Later we see the two making plans to run away together in the middle of the night for the sake of this "new life" they're starting, Snorkmaiden asks what they'll live on and the Fillyjonk replies "perhaps you can fetch a little bag of food from home?"

- Moominmamma prepares food for them and observes that the Fillyjonk seems like "such a wet" (according to Cambridge dictionary for "being wet": used to describe someone who has a weak character and does not express any forceful opinions)

- Moominmamma asks before giving them the food if the Fillyjonk is used to running off with women, the Fillyjonk answers saying not really but they're trying to follow the (white) prophet's teachings

- Next morning, Moomintroll seems already aware of what happened to Snorkmaiden and thinking this freedom stuff is stupid and decides to become a highwayman, dressing up like a gun-toting criminal under the pseudonym of "Black Hand" and spies on the couple among the grass.

- The Fillyjonk asks Snorkmaiden if she likes being run off with, Snorkmaiden replies of course, and the Fillyjonk follows up with asking "Didn't we do it properly?" to which Snorkmaiden replies "Oh do shut up!" (She seems pretty sick of him already and it's only been a night)

- The Fillyjonk said he wouldn't have run off with her if she hadn't agreed to it, and she says that that's just the issue

- Moomintroll plants a written warning between them and the Fillyjonk says "How awful!" while Snorkmaiden says "How exciting!"

- Due to his cowardice, the Fillyjonk excuses himself to "go and buy some cigarettes", Snorkmaiden sees right through this and thinks he'll never come back.

- The Fillyjonk later breaks into a jewelry store before Moomintroll does in the hopes that getting jewels for Snorkmaiden would win her affections back from Moomintroll

- Both boys take a pile of jewels with them and set them somewhere Snorkmaiden will find the next morning and Snorkmaiden feels conflicted on which one to choose, or if she should choose both or neither pile

- Snorkmaiden starts following the new (black) prophet's teachings and forces both the Fillyjonk and Moomintroll to apologize to eachother and turn themselves in to the police for burgling the jewelry store (neither one is sincere in their apology. The Fillyjonk in particular says "A new life without women! (For you)")

- They try turning themselves in but the prison is already full and the policeman's getting extremely stressed about it

- The Fillyjonk is seen in the background among the crowd watching the prophets fight

- End of presence for the Fillyjonk

The Nobleman

The Nobleman (Snorkmaiden Goes Rococo)

- Is introduced by riding in on a horse and the horse throws him down right in front of Snorkmaiden. Snorkmaiden believes this to be a heroic rescue from the bandits trying to take her anklet

- the bandits verbally plan to shoot him and steal his horse, the Nobleman puts his hands up in surrender and Snorkmaiden defends him with an umbrella

- Snorkmaiden asks him if he's okay and the Nobleman mistakes a pain in his chest as a bullet wound, after Snorkmaiden tells him the bandits didn't shoot he realizes it must've been a whale bone

- He thanks Snorkmaiden and offers her half his fortune

- He suddenly gets ill and asks Snorkmaiden to get his smelling salts from his bag

- He sneezes from the "salts", as Snorkmaiden mistook a snuff box instead

- He laments how he's had a terrible experience so far, what with almost getting killed, and says Snorkmaiden will certainly get a bag of silver as a reward

- It turns to night and he asks Snorkmaiden to get a blanket for him, Snorkmaiden thinks it was for her until he asks her to put it around his shoulders

- The Nobleman tells a boring story (as indicated by Snorkmaiden yawning) about why he takes 4 glasses of hot milk everyday. He then takes off with his horse, saying it's a pity it can't carry two people, and invites her to the king's dinner tomorrow before leaving.

- end of his presence in the story

Bonus: 2 likely different noblemen are seen taking a liking to Snorkmaiden in a party, one is simply enchanted by her "perfect slopping shoulders" and the other is directly interacting with her, taking her paw and offering a seat next to him and then offering to send a coach to take her home, and before she leaves he tells her that he's quite "bouleverse" (stricken/enchanted) by such a mysterious lady like her.

The Revolutionary

- Is introduced when Snorkmaiden accidentally enters a room where he's giving a political speech to 4 rather bored people about rising against the oppressive upper class

- He points to her, mistaking her as part of the oppressors and pointing out her being "bedecked with fabulous jewels" while the people have no bread, then references Marie Antoinette's famous "let them eat cake" line by saying they don't like cake

- The Revolutionary tries to extend a hand to his fellows but they leave before he finishes his sentence, then he despairs at them being gone. "If I could only make them see how unhappy and oppressed they are!"

- Snorkmaiden is enchanted by his way with words and the revolutionary reads his speeches/poetry to her by candlelight. Snorkmaiden tells him how clever he is and he acts rather touched by the compliment, "Oh.. well.. I THINK they're rather good.. :>"

- He calls her the most intelligent woman he's ever met and says she shall be the genius of the revolution, then tells her to sew small caps for "everyone" (possibly referring to his "fellow revolutionaries")

- Snorkmaiden knits winter caps inspired by Mr. Brisk and the Revolutionary says they aren't very "revolutionary" (badumtsh) but she's already made 3 of them

- Snorkmaiden mentions how Brisk wore wore hats like that last winter but then realizes he wouldn't be born yet (because time travel) and the revolutionary says "Don't worry your pretty little head. I know women are often confused"

- The revolutionary reads his piece about how all men will be equals, Snorkmaiden asks how and he says they'll wear the same clothes. Snorkmaiden asks what about the women and he answers saying they'll be equals, but "not to the men, of course" while patting Snorkmaiden's head

- The Revolutionary continues with another speech while Snorkmaiden makes breakfast, Snorkmaiden asks if the people will agree and the revolutionary says "they'll have to be guided, of course" (Snorkmaiden is starting to call him dear)

- He asks what the food is and Snorkmaiden says they're small pancakes with strawberry jam, the Revolutionary looks dismayed, saying he usually has pork dumplings and pickled herrings. Snorkmaiden looks frustrated and thinks about how Moomintroll never ate such things so she doesn't have experience with them

- The Revolutionary despairs about not having an audience for his new speech, and Snorkmaiden suggests that while he is clever, talk tends to bore people, so they must have action! "Fighting on the barricades!". The Revolutionary asks what barricades are and she explains that she doesn't really know... they're like trenches but up, not down.

- Snorkmaiden puts up a poster and asks what he thinks, the Revolutionary stares at it contemplatively. Snorkmaiden says it's sure to bring people in but he whines "But the revolutionary spirit..."

- The Revolutionary spots a gendarme (french paramilitary police officer) and he and Snorkmaiden hug eachother, afraid they'll become martyrs

- The gendarme bangs on the door and the try to escape through a small door but Snorkmaiden gets caught before she could enter. Snorkmaiden says she was just trying to get into the cellar to get some jam

- The gendarme asks if she put up the poster and when she proudly says yes he just tells her to take it down before leaving, as bill-sticking is prohibited on that street.

- Snorkmaiden is bewitched by the fine weather and suggests they go on a picnic, the Revolutionary declines and wishes to not be disturbed as he is composing a revolutionary song for the big meeting tomorrow. Snorkmaiden gets snippy and says "You and your silly revolution!"

- Snorkmaiden suggests they go out on the shore and pick seashells, the revolutionary asks what for and she continues her suggestion, saying they'll pretend to be pirates "Like Moomin and-" before being cut off by him saying "how very silly!"

- Snorkmaiden snaps at him saying she's tired of him and how he doesn't like picking sea-shells or playing pretend and.. and.. how he likes pork dumplings!

- She knits angrily lamenting about his and his silly revolutions, how he's nothing like Moomintroll. He doesn't even like pancakes and jam! But then she realizes the Revolutionary doesn't seem to be there

- She finds a letter left on his chair, stating that "darling", he can't hold the meeting because he's been invited to the king's dinner

- Snorkmaiden declares that she hates this stupid century and runs away to reunite with Moomintroll

- Comic ends

The Accountant Fillyjonk

- Introduced while Snorkmaiden is working as a secretary. He awkwardly brings up the weather and then asks what she's doing that night, when Snorkmaiden says she's doing nothing he brings up how there's a lecture on general accountancy and bashfully asks her to join him

- Snorkmaiden coyly says she can't even type on the typewriter. The Fillyjonk helpfully guides her and tells her to type "Invoice", when he reads out that she wrote "Love" it flies over his head and tells her she hit the wrong buttons

- Snorkmaiden is seen putting on makeup back in Moominhouse and Moomintroll asks her why, she says she's going out with somebody who ASKS her out.

- Moomintroll acts petty, speculating that he's some book keeper with pimples, a little mustache and no chin, Snorkmaiden retorts by asking where Moomintroll's chin is

- Snorkmaiden says the Fillyjonk is ambitious and studies accountancy, and that he doesn't have to study about personal magnetism (unlike Moomintroll throughout the comic) because he's got something REAL. She then leaves and Moomintroll attempts to get the last laugh saying he bets he doesn't take her out dancing.

- While at work again, the Fillyjonk says he has a surprise for her, Snorkmaiden lights up but then deflates after the Fillyjonk says he's cleaned the typewriter very bashfully

- Snorkmaiden immediately storms back home saying she's resigned from work

- His presence in the comic ends

The Poet

- He is introduced constantly surrounded by flowers and butterflies, he sees that the Moomins' and Too-Ticky's ship is unnamed and suggests that it should be named the Ocean Orchestra, after his own poem. He proceeds to recite his poem but then gets interrupted by Too-Ticky saying their boat doesn't have a flying jib. He whimsically exits the scene as Moominpappa suggests they name their boat "Mermaid" instead.

- Later, the crew (Moomins + Too-Ticky) notice there are signs of someone else being on the boat and find that the Poet his stowed away with them, hiding in the lifeboat eating cake, drinking whiskey and having a pipe with tabacco and a matchbox to the side.

- The Poet acts guilty by saying they should punish him by sending him to a desert island, as it is "poetic justice". And he admits to stealing their whiskey and tabacco to further cement his guilt. Moominpappa backs off saying he's welcomed on the boat and the Poet smiles at him rather sincerely.

- He asks the Moomins if they forgive him for stealing their stuff and Pappa assures him that they do. The Poet then goes "Of course, a poet must have some licence" (as in: freedom to behave as one wishes, especially in a way which results in excessive or unacceptable behaviour.)

- Moominmamma offers elderberry wine but he declines, saying he'd rather have whiskey and more fruit

- The Poet quickly turns to indulgence as he makes the Moomins set up a comfortable hammock with umbrella and side table. He comments on the lapping waves and calls the seagulls lost souls of sailors, lost at sea, circling their wake. Too-Ticky sneers at him and says they've fed them lots of refuse.

- Moomintroll says they should get rid of him somehow and the rest of the crew (except Snorkmaiden) agree to this

- Moomintroll gives the Poet a foot bath and the Poet says the crew (he calls them philistines) must be happy to have a poet on board, Moomintroll begrudgingly says "very"

- The Poet throws an anchor to the sea before realizing it isn't tied to the boat, then brushes off the loss. Moomintroll looks at him angrily

- Moominpappa laments how he can't even like the sea anymore because of how much the Poet adores it. Moomintroll says that atleast he's one character Snorkmaiden hasn't fallen for.

- Moomintroll immediately gets proven wrong.

- Snorkmaiden is wistfully listening to the Poet read (presumably) his book titled the Ocean Orchestra.

- Moomintroll asks if he'd like to be put ashore and the Poet declines, looking very kindly at Snorkmaiden while speaking

- Moomintroll very menacingly adds that he knows a desert island where he can be really poetic, the Poet declines again saying he loves the boat and Snorkmaiden

- Moomintroll snaps at him and tells him to leave her alone, the Poet and Snorkmaiden only guiltily look up together

- That night, the Poet gets attacked by Niblings while the rest retreat to higher ground.

- The Poet throws his poems in self-defense and the Niblings just eat the papers, then he tries to attack them with a harpoon but is finally carried off by the Niblings off to the sea.

- Snorkmaiden asks Too-Ticky to "save her hero" but Too-Ticky says there's not much one can do

- The Moomins superficially mourn him. Moominpappa throws a potted flower into the sea and says "Well, ahem, this one must say, he DID rhyme his poems"

- Snorkmaiden genuinely mourns him and Moomintroll gives her some lackluster comfort saying the Niblings probably haven't eaten him. Snorkmaiden becomes totally distressed and Moomintroll continues saying if the Niblings didn't like his taste, they may have gnawed the edges, sort of. Snorkmaiden snaps at him saying the Poet was a great man and Moomintroll simply replies "Well, let's hope he has an awful taste"

- End of his presence in the comic

Dr. Hatter

- Dr. Hatter is introduced via a newspaper article read by Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden, they see this as an opportunity to help the Fuddler become more attractive to Mymble (Jr)

- The two hope that Hatter read their letter and Mymble runs up to them saying that a man is moving into an empty house by the fig trees and that he seems exciting. The two run and check if it's him.

- Dr. Hatter appears to be skulking around the house's premises and Snorkmaiden says he might be one of Hatter's patients

- Hatter paints his name on a wall (DR. HATTER, psychiatrist), disagrees with the aesthetic and redoes it (PSYCHIATRIST, Dr. Hatter)

- Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden take Fuddler to his house and Hatter's door is covered in chains and locks he peaks out the window and mistakes them for spies. Moomintroll corrects him and Hatter throws down all his keys for the locks to them, saying he can't be too careful

- The trio go inside and finds memorial portraits of his parents, and toys scattered around the floor. Moomintroll asks if Hatter will be good for Fuddler, perturbed by the sight.

- They looks at some other images on the walls, featuring a homemade Rorschach test (which doesn't even follow the rules of an actual Rorschach blotch), an upsidedown photograph from a patient and other miscellaneous posters

- Hatter appears behind a screen and a load of junk. Moomintroll introduces Fuddler and Hatter tells him to come as the middle of the floor is "so lonely"

- He comments on how Fuddler seems normal and sensible to wear a saucepan to protect his head, however, Moomintroll looks like a case of "Natvomania" (appears to be a made-up disorder) to him. Moomintroll snaps saying it's a crazy idea, however Hatter retorts by pulling up a certificate certifying that he is, in fact, sane

- Fuddler talks about his dreams and Hatter comes closer to a diagnosis. Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden quietly leave them to their devices and Snorkmaiden comments "Isn't he clever?"

- Moomintroll hopes Hatter can help Fuddler and Snorkmaiden says "Of course!! He's wonderful!"

- Mymble shows up and asks Snorkmaiden "Have you seen Dr. Hatter? Isn't he marvelous!" and Snorkmaiden replies "He's so interesting!". Moomintroll scoffs saying he's silly.

- Mymble and Snorkmaiden continue to becomes further enamoured by Dr. Hatter, much to Moomintroll's chagrin.

- Fuddler and Hatter share their button collection and trade buttons, which excites Fuddler. Snorkmaiden and Moomintroll witness him running out of the office happily and Snorkmaiden ponders if Hatter will take her in for treatment too. Moomintroll decides that he should chase Hatter away.

- Moomintroll hires a ghost to scare Hatter, Hatter wakes up to the sound of rattling chains and consults his book about dream meanings, thinking that the current situation is a dream, and then gets spooked by the ghost.

- "My Freud!" cries Hatter, thinking the ghost is his subconscious taking form and says how awful it looks, and that he must analyse himself "again". The ghost threatens to appear three more times and Hatter declares that he'll leave.

- Snorkmaiden, Mymble and Fuddler all become upset about Hatter leaving, with Fuddler in particular begging Moomintroll to help until he feels guilty

- Snorkmaiden and Moomintroll beg Dr. Hatter to not leave as he's packing, Hatter says that he must as the house wakes his subconscious. Snorkmaiden says they'll bring him cases, Hatter is surprised as he believes everyone seems normal, but Moomintroll replies that they're awfully mental, Hatter pauses his packing and says "Oh dear".

- Moomintroll and Snorkmaiden gather some patients to visit him (among them being Mrs. Fillyjonk and the Inspector)

- Snorkmaiden is the first patient, Hatter seems awfully avoidant/shy about whatever subject he's talking about. Snorkmaiden tries to bring up something that nearly happened to her once but he interrupts her saying that the symbols are what matters and asks if she's ever dreamt of bees, Snorkmaiden gets annoyed and says no.

- Mrs. Fillyjonk is the next patient, Hatter shows her one of his homemade Rorschach tests and she says it's an ink spot, he checks a book and goes "aha!" which worries Mrs. Fillyjonk. He then asks her how often she washes and if she brushes her teeth several times a day, Mrs. Fillyjonk nervously answers yes and Dr. Hatter checks his book, vaguely saying "It fits in". Mrs. Fillyjonk asks "Fits in with what?" and Hatter says it's too early to say so she should come back tomorrow.

- The Inspector is patient number three, Hatter makes him play a game of Perfection. Hatter tries to make him put the shapes in the right holes and Inspector ropes him into playing along with him. Hatter brings up how "they" are all after him, and asks if the Inspector ever has bad dreams, the Inspector says not often but he does. Hatter then says "they" are after him because he grows roses, Inspector suddenly gets anxious because he also grows roses. Hatter tells him to come back any time as the Inspector leaves the office, now paranoid of spies.

- Moomintroll notices everyone who visited Hatter are acting strangely. Snorkmaiden suggests Moomintroll should go to Hatter aswell because he thinks everyone is too normal, Moomintroll is baffled by this as he looks at mrs. Fillyjonk staring at herself in a hand mirror.

- Snorkmaiden gets the Moominparents involved in making dr. Hatter stay by using Fuddler to guilt trip them, Moominpappa says people already think they're weird even if they don't try and Snorkmaiden says that Hatter doesn't so they will try this time.

- The Moomin family get on a row boat in front of Hatter's house and pretend their sailing on water, Snorkmaiden says the water is cold and Hatter asks if the fish are biting, then realizes that the ground isn't actually water.

- Hatter invites them to his house and the family continue their boat delusion charade, Snorkmaiden asks if he wasn't going to leave and he says no! Not with them in their present state.

- Moomintroll asks if he can put his nonexistent fish on the table, Hatter says not on the mahogany table, "but that wouldn't matter, would it..." he asks. Moomintroll does a hand stand and asks why everyone is upsidedown, Hatter puts a hand over his mouth in worry.

- The rest of the Moomins do a handstand aswell and ask why Hatter is upsidedown, Hatter laughs it off and says it's just a whim and joins their handstanding. They ask if he can cure them, but Hatter says that although they give him a headache, somehow he thinks they're quiet normal

- Hatter suddenly decides to take his leave but then Moominmamma invites him to a party, Hatter declines because "spies everywhere!" but they insist, dragging him by the arms

- Hatter visits Moominhouse and takes notice of the fence, saying it's very bad, then says it's terrible that they live in a tower, then says the round windows show that their case is very far gone

- They go inside and Moominmamma offers him wine, Hatter says there are symbols of the most sinister kind everywhere.

- He sees the tree growing inside their house and says they must be suffering from "Virulent independentia" (another made-up disorder) so he takes them somewhere else.

- Hatter makes them go inside a fenced container for a tree sapling, locks them up and tells them to be calm

- The Moomins panic and go back on their pretending, but Hatter believes they're suffering from delusions and then asks if they sometimes think they're umbrella stands or egg-beaters.

- Mymble comes in and Hatter says he doesn't have time for her as the Moomin are very interesting to him. Mymble says she thinks she's a flower stand and Hatter takes her in as another case, Mymble begs him to give her private treatment but she's locked up anyway.

- Fuddler comes in and blows up the cage with dynamite, knocking Hatter unconscious in the process, Mymble rushes to Hatter's side and completely ignores Fuddler which angers him.

- Moomintroll pours water on Hatter and he wakes up with a new hairdo. Mymble says he's had a traumatic experience and Hatter says "Traumatic? You've been reading trashy novelettes, young lady!", then says how water invigorates the glands. Mymble thinks the explosion must've brought up his subconscious.

- Mymble asks if he's alright and he says of course he is, Mymble then asks if he'll be treating her psyche and Hatter says that's stuff and nonsense. Chromosomes, gangliae, bacilli, they're the stuff!

- However, Hatter says she seems undernourished and tells her to put out her tongue. He prescribed her iron pills, vitamins and warm underclothes to make her fat and healthy again. Moomintroll asks Mymble if she's happy that Hatter's treating her and Mymble says that he isn't interesting anymore.

- Moominmamma notices Mrs. Fillyjonk and the Inspector are still acting strangely and tells Hatter that he's given them complexes. Hatter scoffs at the idea of complexes and says he's a pills-and-drops man, strictly pills and drops. He'll makes them some pills though, or drops..

- Later, Dr. Hatter actually does develop some complex-reducing pills for them but Moominmamma already cured them so there's no need. Hatter despairs as his effort lays wasted but says Moomintroll surely must have complexes and gives the pills to him in the name of science.

- Moomintroll starts shrinking and Snorkmaiden panics, going to dr. Hatter about it and Hatter finds it interesting, though he does give her the antidote to pour on Moomintroll.

- Comic ends

[funkymbtifiction]

Maybe I am just purging myself with this question, but regardless I need some advice.

I am a sx/sp 9 (triple withdrawn). A few ago, my long-term partner broke up with me. Being both an attachment type and the stacking (solidifying the sexual), my expectancy towards relationships is very, very long-term. I am devastated, both for the end of the relationship, but also because I see no bright future nor alternatives.

I’m very sorry. The end of a deep relationship can be awful and it will take a long time to recover from it and heal. Try not to rush the process or avoid it, but also do not let it forever define you as a 4 fixer. The truth is, if you WANT another relationship, you can find it. There IS a future for you that contains someone else, even if it doesn’t feel like that right now. But honestly, I would take this time as a 9 to embody yourself, learn what you want as separate from “other,” and learn to take up more space in the world. 9s abdicate themselves and when they lose their other person, they don’t know what to do -- because suddenly, they can’t just drift with someone else’s current, they have to paddle.

So what do YOU want from life? What do YOU want to accomplish? What kind of eggs do YOU like, to borrow a line from Runaway Bride? Could you spend a few months digging into what who you are, what you like, what is fully you?

How can I change my current situation when, historically, I am unable to fight the tendency to remain stagnant through time?

The only way to change is to want something bad enough to put in the effort it requires to get it. If you want a lover, you will have to stop waiting for one to magically find you, and make yourself available to meet people. That means stepping outside of your comfort zone, doing a dating profile, going places to meet people, and not vanishing on the people who take an interest in you. It means becoming PRESENT and EMBODIED. 9s are doing repressed. 4s are doing repressed. 5s are doing repressed. If you don’t decide here and now that you’re not going to waste your life waiting for a life that never happens to you, you will forever stagnate in “doing NOTHING ABOUT MY PROBLEM.” Because as a 9, you see it as your problem, but not a problem for YOU to be proactive about and fix. And you’ll have to realize that any problems are yours to resolve, yours to take take care of. A relationship is yours to pursue, to initiate, to make happen. Few others are going to do it for you.

I may sounds a clingy piece of … work, but I don’t care about career, where to live, but to be merged with the one person, and for +10 years the one person, for me I was certain, was my ex-partner, whom I met out of pure chance. How can I meet people if I am an extremely introverted, even regarding online social communities? No movement, no social activity, no participation. And it hurts so much because I feel trapped within my personality.Sorry for the whining, but any advice?

You’ll have to push through the 9 passivity and “that makes me uncomfortable, so I don’t wanna” and put yourself out there. If you can’t stand the thought of chatting up people in a coffee shop or going to social events, join a dating website, create a profile full of your distinct “sx” flavor, and look for someone who arouses your sx.

Here’s your big sister tough talk: if you want a new partner, get up off your ass and DO something to make it happen.

[theunwellkingdom]

Design Deep-Dive #4: Lands Week - Designing the Illusory Palace

One big takeaway from researching set cubes is that mana bases in an average MtG set have a tendency to be very weak, to the point that many cubes will pad out the quantity and quality of mana-fixing lands from other sets.

For the Unwell Kingdom to remain self-contained, I knew I'd need some solid lands... but I also knew that each card in the set is precious, representing hours of work for me to design and illustrate! I wanted to find a way to make color-fixing consistent without devoting a huge chunk of the set list to do it. To solve this, I looked to real Magic cards, hoping to find some insights...

What Would Wizards Do?

Two existing lands stuck out to me as potential solutions, though each came with caveats.

Evolving Wilds is a quintessential fixer that gets reprinted constantly. It's simple, familiar, and flexible -- not strong enough to see much constructed play, but a welcome sight when building a limited deck! However, in this set cube environment, even Common cards only exist as 4 copies total. That alone wouldn't cut it, but printing more might enable greedy decks with too many splashed colors!

So I turned to a set designed for high-powered draft play: Double Masters. For those draft boosters, WotC tried something bold: a land guaranteed in every pack called Cryptic Spires. The Spires function as a tapped two-color land, which is nothing special, but this time there was a twist! Before shuffling up to play, you could choose the colors on each copy by physically marking the cards.

This proved to be an elegant solution with some serious pain points. Obviously, I don't want people writing on my cards in a set that's meant to be replayed. My solution couldn't be single-use. Second, it could be tricky to tell which colors were picked, since the art stayed the same. And lastly, it introduced a minigame to deck building that seemed more fatiguing than fun... Adding even a simple choice to a card can take precious time away from more pressing deck building decisions.

By combining aspects of Evolving Wilds and Cryptic Spires, I found my answer:

Introducing: The Illusory Palace

The Illusory Palace is both a single card and 10 unique ones -- one for each color pair. It will be the 16th card in each Unwell Kingdom pack, a guaranteed extra slot!

It has two functions. You can sac it like an Evolving Wilds to grab a basic land from your library, with the restriction that you must stay within its color pair. The land enters tapped, so it's a bit slow, but thinning a land out of your deck never hurts!

Alternatively, you can use it right away as a filter land, paying a mana in to get a mana out in one of its colors! This still nets you one fewer mana for the turn, but it can allow you to tap into that color pair the turn you play it! You can also use this side of it if you can't decide which color basic to commit to, and keep paying extra for the flexibility.

My hope is that Illusory Palace will make it much easier to play two- and even three-color decks without ever feeling like the star of the show. Guaranteeing one in each pack should make it feel like a solid backup plan in case you don't find some of the more powerful lands lurking in the set...

Tomorrow on Lands Week! Tri-Lands of the Unwell Kingdom

UWK Lands Week >Designing the Illusory Palace The Tri-Lands Discard/Sac Lands Utility Lands Back to Basics

[electricbluebutterflies]

Joel/Tess + neighbours AU

Didn't expect this one to end up close to 3k but here we are. Modern AU, rather nsfw (didn't plan that either), also on ao3.

Tess needs a change of scenery, or at least the different horrors of a middle-ring suburb. Somewhere it’ll be a little harder for her tendencies to get her in trouble, or at least different trouble, and-

On paper this is a hell of a slightly early midlife crisis, but something about her sees the words “fixer-upper” and thinks she’s watched just enough renovation shows in waiting rooms to at least turn this into a good distraction for a couple years or however it long takes her to DIY her way out of this. Never mind that she has no idea what she’s doing. She’s under-stimulated at work and kinda likes the idea of living somewhere the kids outnumber the purse dogs. This’ll be fine.

Or at least it would be if her new neighbors weren’t Those People.

She understands the appeal of outdoor maintenance, despite her own black thumbs – she killed a cactus with neglect, she was just out of town for a destination wedding, those things are supposed to survive months but it didn’t last a long weekend – and lack of interest in yardwork. She gets that most of the neighborhood does things the same way she’s inclined to, keeps it all neat and maybe a hanging basket out front but not overkill. But of course she goes and moves in next to someone who clearly has compulsions or something, whose yard looks like someone actually planned it, and that’s just the part visible from the front, their backyard has what looks like a complicated vegetable-growing setup and-

Tess is prepared to hate them on sight, whoever they are, whatever kind of people they otherwise are and it’s coinflip odds on sweethearts or assholes and she’s never been lucky. She is also prepared to spend the next couple months as indoors as possible, questioning every home-décor choice ever made in the 1970s, she’s pretty sure part of the reason the house was unusually cheap is the last owner died here – in their sleep and their mid-80s, if she heard right, but still – and good grief somebody liked orange a little too much and-

How she managed to get this place instead of one of those industrial demolition companies, she’s not quite sure, but she’s going to make it work.

She’s having a moment of frustration a couple weeks in – most of a weekend down an internet rabbit hole does not make her any more confident about removing what could politely be described as a chandelier – and it occurs to her that she doesn’t actually have a ladder high enough to safely get her hands up in that thing, and it occurs to her that Those People, who she has yet to actually interact with, probably do and will probably be horrified enough by her currently apathetic appearance to let her borrow it for a few hours. And possibly, if she brings it back without damage, other fun things she might need out of their inevitably thoroughly equipped shed and/or garage. Tess is nothing if not perceptive, and she’s half surprised she hasn’t gotten a please-make-sure-your-grass-is-even note in impeccable handwriting, and-

She’s not sure what she expects when she knocks on the door, but the man who answers – scruffy, gorgeous, just older than her enough to be hot – is somehow not it. To the extent that she has a type, this is her type, and fuck she’s finally going to add intentional homewrecking to her list of accomplishments (it doesn’t count if you don’t know for fact the other person has a tiny cute wife at home, fight her) and-

“I just moved in next door,” she says before this can get weird or she can do something fabulously reckless. “And I was wondering if you had a decent ladder I could borrow?”

Normal people do this, she tries to remind herself. Normal functional people who live in mid-ring suburbs occasionally ask favors from people nearby and it’s not weird at all. She’s used to a series of apartment complexes occupied by people who acted more like feral animals, and there’s a bit of that in her by association, but-

“What do you need it for?” the man replies, more curious than judgmental if she’s hearing him right.

“Taking down… fuck, I think somebody thought it was a chandelier but…”

Tess does not do the learned-helplessness thing, but apparently it’s obvious how far she’s in over her head. “Need an extra set of hands?”

“Never had someone I don’t know want to watch me get electrocuted,” she laughs.

“So, yes.”

She’s not going to say no, and she’s not going to waste an opportunity for what she swears will stop at light eyefucking, and she does notice there’s no indent of a wedding band on his hand but she’s seen the well-equipped truck out front and that may be more of a profession-related choice than useful information and-

The garage is as full of everything possible as she’d expected, but also a little more chaotic than everything publicly visible, and she almost has questions, and-

“Compromise,” he says like he knows what she’s thinking. “The kid’s not allowed in here.”

And now Tess has more questions, and… this is not the time, she decides, not while she’s testing the limits of someone’s patience. She can feel out the details of the personal situation later, after…

Her own living space is only neat because most of her worldly possessions are still in boxes, and there’s almost nothing in what must’ve been designed as a dining room except for the goddamned light fixture and-

“I don’t do a lot of electrical, but… you flip the fuse first?”

“Yeah. At least those were labeled.”

To be fair, she’d just meant to borrow a ladder, not make this entire project someone else’s problem, but… she’s also not complaining about that, and she’s going to have to return the favor somehow and she’s pretty damn useless as a person and-

She has a type, and how apparently competent this man is just makes her more interested, and she needs to run damage control against herself before she does anything and-

“You have time for this?” she asks, figuring that’s a safe opening.

“You mean like…”

“Anybody wondering where you are right now?” Fuck, that sounds creepy now that she’s said it, like she’s going to do something violent when the worst she’s actually thinking is how to get him under her, like-

“Kid’s doing something with her friends. That’s… it.”

Oh. Well.

Tess’s surprise must register or something, and she in general is apparently more expressive than she thinks, because her silence is enough to get her new acquaintance off the ladder and looking at her with more worry than she thinks another human has directed at her in her adult life. Oh, if this is how she makes it awkward…

“Saw your yard and I thought…”

“Kid watches too much TV. Her ideas and my hands.”

“How old?”

“Sixteen. Her mom left… a while ago. We try.”

Not objectively helpful information, Tess thinks – if anything, the implications that this man has been doing the single-parent thing impeccably for a good length of time just makes him more hot – but also exactly what she wanted to know and-

“I’m sorry if I got weird earlier. I make bad first impressions and… y’know, I try to behave but I’ve got eyes and you’re-“

“It’s alright.”

“Should’ve at least introduced myself first. Tess.”

“Joel. Nice to meet you.”

“I will… if you’re determined to save me from myself here, I will pay you. I’m not-“

“Conversation with an actual adult feels like enough.”

If she counts as an actual adult, the world is probably screwed, but…

“How much does that get me?”

* * * * *

It becomes something of a routine, after that.

Tess is determined to do as much of this minor renovation herself as she can, and turns out painting walls is a good way to burn off energy after work, but occasionally there are projects that she’s either not sure how to do or legitimately needs an extra set of hands for and that’s where the nice man next door comes in. Every time, she offers to compensate for the effort; every time, he turns her down. She’s covering materials and apparently that’s enough, and-

Every time, the thoughts about what could happen between them get a little more vivid.

They’re working on bathroom tile when she decides to actually do something about it, a project that she’d feel bad about if it wasn’t such a small space. Theoretically simple like everything else she’s tried to do, but her eye for detail isn’t great and it’s turned into her new friend doing most of it while she watches and hands him things and she probably owes him a kidney for this particular adventure alone and-

“So it’s just you here?” he asks, like he can read her damn mind and honestly she wouldn’t be surprised.

“Yeah.”

They’ve avoided most of the deep personal questions, instead talking mundane stuff like favorites, filling the space between them with whatever they can. They’re compatibly damaged people, she’s figured out that much, and he’s good like she’s not sure she is, and-

“Figured, but… had to ask.”

“Me trying to flirt with you still makes you think I’ve got somebody out there?”

“Can’t rule out an open relationship…”

Tess laughs – she does that more around him than most people, something inherently stabilizing about this dynamic they’re working out. “No judgement to anyone else, but I’m way too territorial for that. What’s mine is mine.”

He’s quiet for a while, places a few more tiles absolutely perfect, lets the tension rest. It’s not awkward, exactly, but the energy is different and-

“Understood.”

“Wasn’t saying… shit, I’m not sure if I wanna ask you out or pin you to a wall or-“

“I’d let you.”

She puts that information aside for as long as it takes to finish the project, until they’re cleaning up and she’s aware she looks good in this tank top, hair already a mess but she thinks she’d break him if he ever saw what she looks like when she tries and-

“Can I kiss you now?” she asks, just a little softer than necessary.

Joel leans down and puts his mouth on hers and it’s everything she wants, scruffy and warm and just a little hesitant, and she’s going to melt and she’s going to do something that’ll ruin them and-

“That good for you too?” Adoration in his eyes, she’s not sure what to do with this, she’s not sure-

Normally she does casual and easy to disconnect from, and she is well aware that screwing her neighbor is neither of those things and will, if it ends badly, ruin her life. But what if it doesn’t, she thinks. What if this is good? What if…

“We’ve got all the major stuff done,” she murmurs, thinking out loud. “If this gets weird…”

“You have your priorities,” he replies, almost playful.

“Been thinking about you all over me since I saw you, but… yeah.”

He takes another kiss, deeper this time, and she feels what he’s not saying, that he’s been having the same thoughts for a couple months now and wasn’t sure it was a good idea but fuck it they have nothing to lose and-

“You think I’d do all this if I didn’t like you?”

“Guess this is how I’m repaying you.” She’s seen that part coming for a while, the inevitability of it, and she doesn’t mind, she doesn’t-

“Not like that.”

“A little like that.”

She moves her body against his for emphasis, and she wants, she wants-

“Not like that,” he repeats.

“Think of it however you have to,” she replies, deciding this is as good a time as any to shed her tank top.

It’s been a while since she’s been with anyone under quite these circumstances – daylight in a hallway with someone she actually knows. A dry spell since the move hasn’t helped, enough of a crush that she’s lost interest in her previously normal routines, and-

While she’s stuck in her head, he gets her against the wall and gets on his knees for her, and she’s half confused and-

“This look like you repaying me?” he asks, hands on her waistband.

“Don’t know your preferences enough to know.”

She doesn’t push him away, and he takes that for the let’s-see-what-happens consent that it is, and… most of the men she fucks don’t go down on her, and she’s pleasantly surprised that this one wants to, and-

Something about how he undoes her makes her think he’s also on the tail end of a much longer dry spell, not that she’s complaining. She’s easy to work open, and he’s apparently as good at giving head as anything else he does, and she’s going to get herself ruined, and-

“Stay with me,” he breathes against her thigh. “Keep your eyes open.”

She doesn’t, when it matters. Something about the combination of factors gets her off faster than she’s used to, and that doesn’t stop him working her through, making sure she’s properly wrecked before he stops batting her clit with his tongue. They are ridiculously compatible, and she can’t remember the last time a partner gave her that much attention, and-

“That clear enough?” he asks, back on his feet and still way too clothed for her preferences.

“You want me to return the favor?”

“Stop talkin’ like that.”

Well, if this is how she ends up pinned to a wall, she’s not complaining.

She’s usually more assertive than this, but if someone wants to make clear how much they want her, she’ll go with it. It takes some pawing to get his shirt off before he lifts her up, and it’s just as well he was so thorough with his mouth because he’s as solid between the legs as everywhere else and-

Tess is pretty sure she’s in love, and pretty sure that’s not a normal thought to have when being fucked against a wall, and pretty sure she doesn’t care about anything else right now. She hasn’t been done this well in quite some time, maybe ever, and she doesn’t get off again but she at least gets warm enough to have a good time, and-

“Shit,” he says after, after he falls apart inside her with a sharp bite to her shoulder. “You on anything?”

“Implant. Don’t trust me with anything I have to think about more often.”

“Should’ve-“

“At least you’re asking now.”

“Still.”

She’s still half pinned to the wall, and she turns it into an embrace and oh they fit right with their bodies separated too. This better work out, she thinks, this better-

“What now?”

He gets a hand back in her hair, now thoroughly messed up. “Think that shower will fit both of us?”

Like she’d know, she’s tempted to murmur, but it’d ruin the moment. “Only one real way to find out…”

* * * * *

They make it work.

Desperate-hot sex and home-improvement projects are a weird combination to start a relationship on, but Tess is pretty sure she’s never actually dated anyone before, and Joel hasn’t in years upon years, and… at least they’re useless together, at least there’s that. At least they’re winging their way forward, slowly drifting into…

She keeps her own spaces, even when things get serious. It’s a better situation for both of them.

Her yard is still, no matter what she does, even when she lets the kid (Sarah, sweetheart, decides she likes Tess surprisingly quickly) try to help, the disappointment of the block. It’s fine. Comparison helps no one anyways.

A couple years later, just as Tess is starting to think that it might be time to propose now that she’s on the other side of forty and about as domesticated as she’s likely to ever get, she gets a phone call and apparently owes someone a huge favor and ends up sharing space with a teenage girl who reminds her a lot of the purse dogs she thought she moved out here to avoid and…

It all turns out okay in the end. Somehow.

[the-amber-raven]

Hi there! Do you have a good grasp of Buck's character? I was wondering if you could list his personality?

I mean... I wouldn't call myself an authority or anything but I guess I have written from his POV a lot. If I had to list the key personality traits I think he has:

1. Extrovert. He thrives when he's around people.

2. Loves people - this kind of goes off the above but I also think he's the kind of person who genuinely likes humanity. Like, he's the "look for the helpers" kind of person or the one who shares feel good stories about humanity.

3. Helper/people pleaser - he is driven by a desire to help people. He might have some selfish tendencies (although I personally wouldn't consider him to be a selfish person) but his instincts always tell him to help. And he likes making people happy!

4. Which leads us to: fixer. I mean this is outright canon, he likes to fix things.

5. Optimist: I think he is, on the whole, an optimist. He generally assumes good from people or situations. This isn't always the case, and I think he struggles with this when hes feeling down or dealing with something personal that is really difficult but overall I think he's more prone to optimism than pessimism.

6. I think the one exception to the above is his sensitivity to rejection. And I know this can be a contentious topic so I don't want to belabour the point. However, I do think he is sensitive to feeling rejected WHEN he is dealing with something difficult. I don't think he is sensitive to being teased - quite the opposite , I think that makes him feel loved! But if he feels like he might not be wanted or is being replaced? That's when this trait flairs up.

7. Curious. He's not very academic but he loves to learn new things or find out more about things.

8. Loves kids. Again, canon, he enjoys being around them and he is very good at connecting with them (unless it's a large group of kids worrying about Santa being injured 😂)

9. Determined/stubborn. See: the lawsuit debacle. But this isn't inherently a negative trait - it's what allows him to fight his way back from his coma, it's what gets him (and Chris) through the tsunami and its how he is able to help Eddie during his breakdown. It might get him into trouble sometimes but I think it's a vitally important part of who Buck is.

10. Kind. I've said this in my fics I think but I genuinely think that Buck is a kind person. It feeds into a lot of the above points but I think it's worth calling out specifically.

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

frank you're doing horoscopes? can i be next? I'm a virgo

You can be next anytime!

Your horoscope is:

Virgo is the 6th sign of the zodiac. You are analytical, organized, and object-oriented. You focus on clearing up existing confusion in a rational way. You are particularly concerned with practical, concrete results. As an individual, you can become critical of others to the point of impatience or intolerance. And yet, it is Virgo's skill in discerning what is needed to solve any problem and the work ethic to follow through with the solution that often sets this sign apart, and sometimes makes it seem that others are lazy or uninterested. Your determination to see things through to their logical conclusion is often the factor that will get you out of a jam.

Virgo is one of the Earth signs, which implies an integration of mental and emotional capacities and a simultaneous interaction of the personality and the environment. Hence, Virgo personalities need to be adapted to the demands of practical reality, and this sign tends to be more skillful in assessing themselves and others, and more adept at responding to their environment. Virgo is the ideal "fixer," and this may be a tendency you are likely to exhibit as a Virgo individual. Rational and logical, you can be overly critical and picky. However, the attitude of those with your Sun sign does not necessarily reflect the overall nature of your makeup. You may be more vulnerable to coldness than you would like. Picky eating habits may be indicative of iron or vitamin deficiencies. You may feel uncomfortable around people in high-pressure jobs. You may shy away from emotional intimacy and be more attached to the abstract than the concrete. Virgos often seem more extroverted than they are and may sometimes seem overbearing. There may be loneliness or uncertainty about where you belong in the world and who you are. People may have difficulty relating to you and you may experience feelings of being cut off from others.

And your moon sign is:

Gemini is the 3rd sign of the zodiac.The Moon is the ruler of the 4th house and signifies our deepest psychological needs. All people with Gemini Moons need emotional sensitivity. It is their way of life to be sensitive to their own moods as well as those of others. They also have a deep need for communication, which can manifest as a need to be the centre of attention. When it is not their turn to be in the limelight, they often feel left out. This is often because Gemini Moons are traditionally restless, inquisitive people. They need to feel that they are constantly learning and growing. Gemini Moons tend to have a strong, even quirky, sense of individuality. They like to be different. They may display a marked personality which others find hard to grasp or understand. Gemini Moons also have a complex inner world, which is highly creative and prefers to leave it in their minds. This may be due to their highly sensitive nature. As a result they will often try to keep a distance from others, possibly to protect their sensitive nature from being hurt. This tendency to have a highly sensitive nature can sometimes make them feel isolated. Gemini Moons need to be surrounded by

[kfanopinions]

JR (Kim Jonghyeon) as a Boyfriend (Astrology Based)

i will be looking into jr's moon, venus, and mars signs. as i can't seem to find a birth time, i cannot go into depth too much. i've added just a tid bit of a below the cut (18+) section. so if you're not 18+ ignore it <33 enjoy ^^

lean on me his moon in libra is really sympathetic and cares for other people

social butterfly having people around him seems to do his heart well. so he'll want to be around his partner just as much as his friends

care for a friendly debate? so this is just kind of a cute thing for his mental stimulation. he may like to debate certain topics and i'll just throw it out there but possibly start small arguments. nothing serious just something to go back and forth with ^^

flirtatious this is with his partner as well as others. his libra moon is the culprit. most of the flirting with others will be on a verbal/emotional level. he knows full well what can happen to his relationship if he enters the sexual side of infidelity

charming

"so he's a bit of a fixer upper" okay he could have a tendency to fixate on something that is wrong (including the relationship) and he will argue until it's resolved -> or until he wins lol

also is the indecisive boyfriend lol <- it's his libra moon

"i'll be there for you" literally will listen to his partner, talk to them, be there for them whatever they need he's there. he'll even forgive them if they misbehave -> he's very tolerant

for the long haul the type to want a long deep relationship seriously, this man with his libra moon will stick to his partner like glue ^^

gentlemanly if confronted by someone he will handle the situation with honor. he has a code of conduct that he'll personally follow

do you need help around the house? moon in libra doesn't mind helping out with the house chores. he'll help out as a sign of respect for his partner

good hearted man

date organizer! doesn't mind setting up the perfect dates for him and his partner <3

"my my sir, i do believe you're jealous" because of his venus in taurus he can have some pretty bad moments of jealousy. this is all because of how much he cares for his partner

"i now pronounce you..." so both his moon and venus signs really want this long term relationship that could eventually lead to marriage -> probably see how his partner will fair in his mind as his spouse ^^

gift giving anyone? will buy his partner flowers, cook for them, buy gifts - anything that will cheer them up and make them smile

homebody he will probably be the boyfriend that prefers to chill and binge watch movies/shows -> his venus in taurus isn't the super flashy type so dates will be modest at best. there is a flashy part when it comes to food and drinks (wines etc.) so he'll probably go out for food based dates lol

stubborn to the core

pretty damn blunt venus in taurus guys are known for their honesty, so his partner may need to be careful when asking "what do you think" lol

slow and steady wins the race his venus in taurus is like watching a herd of buffalo traveling across the land. they're not in a hurry. they take their time - this is how the relationship will be, slow and steady to ensure that it will be a long lasting one

below the cut

if you're not 18+ stop here

because there isn't too much information i can't go into depth with this, but i hope you still find it enjoyable. please take everything with a grain of salt <333

s*x slave scenario being tied up or having partner tied up etc.

submitting to partner/submissive behavior

roleplaying boss co-worker, doctor patient, etc.

erogenous area is their torso will probably react some sort of way if his waist is touched XP

back of the neck may be a sensitive area *wink wink*

may fall for someone who is older than him this is with his mars in virgo

semi-consensual "relations" take this one with a grain of salt

noisy during the act whimpering, moaning, gasping, screaming etc.

whispering in partners ears

org*asm champion lol he will ensure that his partner gets off ^^ with his mars in virgo getting his partner off gets him off

i do want to note that mars in virgo's are neat freaks so if his partner isn't clean down below they should just not even think about getting that awesome climax. not gonna happen till their clean down under xP

[aggravateddurian]

Trey Marshall - update

Not even gonna bother with the AU tags, he's in all of them

Did some work on Trey (and by 'some work', I mean I literally rebuilt him from scratch. He has grown a beard and changed his cyberware a little, but he's still our favourite nomad boi looking for a family.

Thought he could do with some work, since he keeps losing his girls to Judy or So Mi (Val falls for Judy in Brother's Shadow, and Vega falls for So Mi in Chorus).

Full update below:

Trey Marshal - Nomad Gunslinger

Date of Birth: 22 November 2050 Place of Birth: Bakkers Camp, Arizona Affiliations: Bakkers (former, pack wiped out), Afterlife Mercs

AUs featured in:

Brother's Shadow (both versions)

Chorus

The Quiet Life

Trey is a former member of a nomad pack that fell into a rut. Rather than fading away, they chose to contract themselves to Biotechnica, who rewarded their trust by testing out the bioweapon they helped guard the construction of on their base camp. Trey is the only survivor.

Trey's personality:

Trey as energetic, strong-willed and determined to get what he wants. He cares deeply for his people (until Biotechnica fucked them over and wiped them out with the bioweapon they were guarding), and fiercely defends his friends and loved ones. He's the kind of guy who would jump on a grenade to save the rest of his crew, and he has a tendency to dream big.

He's intelligent and an excellent organiser. If he was just a little less caring and a whole lot colder and more calculating, he'd probably make a great fixer.

Family is everything to Trey, and he has a tendency to see the people he works with as his extended family, much to the chagrin of almost every fixer he's worked for, with the exception of Dakota. Said Rogue Amendiares of Trey as a Solo:

"He's a great leader... up to the point where one of his crew bites it. Then he relives the trauma of losing his pack all over again. Honestly, he needs to care less. People die in this profession, and if you can't accept that, you need to find a different job."

Trey's Speciality:

Trey's a gunslinger like Cassidy. Carries an Overture everywhere, but unlike Cassidy, has a backup semi-auto just in case things get dicey and there's not enough time to carefully reload your revolver. He also carries a knife. When the occasion calls for it, he pulls out the SMG.

[raayllum]

Me realizing Claudia’s panic and outright desperation in this episode is going to hit different knowing what she goes through at the end of 3x09

[fractualized]

what do you think would be the likelihood of john and bruce getting together post-vigilante? would either one of them attempt to go for it?

Well, if the player chooses to respond "I wish we had never met" to the friends question at Ace Chemicals, probably zero. But that answer is pain and I assume not the path you're thinking of.

The multiple-choice nature of the game does affect the probability, though! In Telltale, Bruce's characterization has a lot of dependence on the choices you make, and I think a Bruce who chooses more of the John-friendly options could believably, down the line, be more than friends with him.

After all, if Bruce responds to John with "of course we were friends," you get the scene of Bruce visiting John in Arkham, a significant sign of support. As far as I know, we don't get a sign that Bruce has visited Harvey in Arkham, which is awful for poor Harvey, but an indicator that Bruce feels a stronger attachment to John. Also, at this point, Bruce knows that John wanted Bruce to love him, which may not be an emotion you want to rekindle with someone who has some stalkery tendencies, but Bruce is evidently not concerned about it.

And on the other side, after saying he's done with admiring Bruce, John still looks thrilled by Bruce's visit, by Bruce not giving up on him even after John, uh, tried to kill him. I'm sure that John very much wanted to break away from Bruce in the heat of that moment at Ace, when their worldviews clashed so violently, but that confrontation was so heartwrenching precisely because of how much John loves Bruce. So I think that affection is alive and well…

… with the caveat that John has learned some things. In trying to find himself, he tried using other people as blueprints for who he was supposed to be, only for Bruce's principles to result in decisions John found senseless and infuriating, only for Harley to turn her back on John multiple times, only for Dr. Leland's support to stay behind in Arkham Asylum. John already had many instances of fending for himself, like making other Arkham patients afraid of him, learning secrets of the asylum and using them for his benefit, keeping information from or disclosing information to both Harley and Bruce as he saw fit, and deciding not to include Bruce while spending a week or two preparing for vigilantism with some clown sidekicks. As heartbreaking as John's failure to be a hero is, the sliver of a silver lining is that those disappointments may actually help pull him up from his low self image. As much as he may care about those few other people, they are operating on their own subjective standards. So can't John develop his own standards for who he wants to be?

All that is to say, while John may still think Batman is awesome, I don't think he'll put Bruce on a pedestal anymore, and Bruce won't seem as much out of reach. And if John appreciates Bruce's visits and comes around to seeing Bruce as attainable, that could work out to John gaining the confidence to propose they become something more. After all, if he can wield wacky gadgets and learn to competently fight within a couple weeks, and successfully kidnap the head of a shadowy governmental organization, anything is possible!

As for Bruce being the one to make the first move… Again, Telltale Bruce's behavior depends on your choices. You certainly have the option to pursue Selina while pursuing your mission, so Bruce could do the same with John. But if you go with a typically more reserved, mission-focused Bruce, I think it would take more time for him to get there. John being stuck in Arkham would help some. For one thing, John doesn't have the same amount of murder baggage as your average Joker to make Bruce question why the hell he's having these affectionate feelings, and for another…

Well, it's actually a mixed point, but Bruce is a fixer. He would appreciate that their relationship would help John be more stable and encourage him to be more compliant with Arkham's treatment, so he can be re-released one day. But a lot of batjokes meta has made the point that while much of Joker's behavior is obviously bad (you know, like the murder), rehabilitation scenarios can turn shitty quick because they become more about what Bruce thinks he wants Joker to be instead of Joker determining what a better version of himself is. Do we want Bruce to push for Arkham to be a better institution and to encourage John to heal? Yes! Should we be concerned that Bruce might end up advocating for treatment that crams John into a behavioral box instead of advocating for John himself? Also yes!

But to sum up the point of the question, I can see either of them pursuing a relationship under the right circumstances. Like in real life, though, that relationship isn't an endgame but an ongoing pursuit that shouldn't be taken for granted.