#also crying over how this ended up as will after 3 couples. I hurt myself doing that (tho...its interesting where all S3 couples lead by S4

[emblazons]

"I'm not gonna...fall in love."

STRANGER THINGS SANS VISAGE S03E01 - Suzie, Do You Copy?

[enmmyheavenscg]

MY SITUATION .

hello everyone ! if you’re aware, you know im currently back from my break!

But my situation hasn’t gotten any better.

TW FOR ATTEMPTED SUI, MURDER MENTIONS, ABUSE - just my parents being horrible . Invasion of privacy

I don even know how to tag this properly.

Today on tuesday, July 30th 2024, 3:42 am as I am writing this.

My mental (and physical) health has worsened since everything had happend, My parents have been making me feel genuinely worst

I just happened to be in a call with a friend before oh- the first time, my parents came in and yelled at me.. my mother raised her hands up a bit, yes but. She usually does that so usually I am not affected by it but today was just. horrible.

After the first couple times they did this, they turned the wifi completely off, I was still In a call with said friend but I was muted. My parents were being absolutely horrible.

I would go detail by detail. syaing hooe the whole wrugement started but No, only thing I’ll be saying is.

My mother went absolutely ballistic and was trying to open my locked door. (Which I Have video of) she kept hurting md, threw something at me and just absolutely started screaming at me , she jus wnt crzy

My father laid his hands on me for the first time today aswell, it was a truly horrifying experience. I’ve always preferred my father over my mother yet - today trigged something inside my brain ? Made me genuinely hate him - myself , everyone around me. My younger brother was sleeping , yet we were fighting in his room .

The argument affected me, it was only an hour ago? .. couple minutes . im

not sure . It all went so fast my brain jusut ii

They kept tyryung to corneer mme and my mom trid to hold me in pllce , not allowing me to leave / get into Myy riom

I had to forcefully do so

I don’t even know what happened . Today started off so good yet endlu horriblly .

I tried

I tried to end it all after that conversation. I was messaing that said friend before, begging them to call help, crying . I’ve never felt more scared, weaker . Horrified . I tried choking myyosg and I still can’t breatffwi

im tryiy not sure how im writiing this but im doing it . I really hope I get my wifi back to be able to send this (if I do then that means I did)

I trid casling emergency servieces, I didn have service - no wifi, nothing. I ws basically stranded , in panic moddee

I wssso lightheaded, dizt and honestly felt like I eas dying (I stsuol am bu am doiing bettr(

I

I would’ve died if I kept chokiif myslf with it a bit longer

They were gona kill me though. They . Thhy said os

My mom sid my dad woul beat mme until I was dead and unconscious - my ddad sid he din lov me tdoy

My dad sid god woul mak that happen when I said I’d die

My mom threatened to murder me tdosy (twice or once) she was holding sormyuing when I ws forced to opn my door . I can’t rmebr but it was a utensil . N ths all I rembr . Was it a knife? No clie. was it something else ? no clu

Theve alwys been horubel but this was jut icing on cak . I just need to get mor evidence on wht tehy did . Then I havs my proof . (I mite attach wht my mom did to my lock . I rmeber . 4? 3? Years ago she brok it .

And now it’s even more borkn. It may not look like it but it is. N sometiije thi year she brok mmy doorhsndle. Iiz awful here

I truly wanna leave but I hav no choice)

im

I’m just so scard, I’m mortified geniunlly

photdo down here + vudeo if I can (took the screenshot at 03:51 so ths why it says tagt) plus one I jus took .

sory I knowthuu iz all too much but I’m so

So

done here. . I add more on as I can try and remember beter . I don’t feel like myself currently so it’s quite hard to remember stif that . Doesn’t but also does feel like me

(ddin add all images.)

Poease . If you rpost thji pls do . I need to get outta herre soon enough

If you wanna talk to me- @ahaclownnoises is my main / my discord

[thatdeadaquarius]

I found one of your sagau posts about language and got me thinking xD

Reader who knows a lot of languages which gets people confused. Are they speaking in their godly language? Are they really that mad that they switched to another language? Why are they smirking like that--- (Aether/Lumine who understood everything trying so hard not to laugh at people's reactions)

Why did I imagine that after a flowery speech Reader delivers a response so blunt the vine boom sfx can be heard---

Reader trying out flowery speech and failing, while the rest of the people in the background are either A.) Trying to convince you that its alright to talk simply (oh now you turn the tables--) or B.) Some of them fainting in devotion/cuteness because their god looks at them so eagerly for feedback

I heard somewhere that Mondstadt is based on Germany and another post about Snezhnaya (bruh whats the spelling 🤣💀) based on Russia, so I thought that while they speak english they also throw in a couple words of their respective language (or in some drunk cases, full out native language). Cue reader just.... 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♀️

Bilingual reader who uses full advantage of their knowledge into making puns and jokes to Cyno----

WE CAUGHT ANOTHER ONE BOYS

YES YES THE PSPSPSPSS NEVER FAILSSS🛐🛐🛐

(subliminalmessagingpspspspsscometomeaskscomepspspspspssubliminalmessaging)

___________

DUDE ive thought abt just making it where Aether/Lumine are the only ones who understand English/ur language and like, while u can (or maybe cant for shenanigans) speak Teyvatian (ew theres gotta be a better word for that?) Theres NOTHING as amazing as the bilingual experience of pranking bitches

Eula gives like a whole poetry book of a speech to you guys to be more responsible abt gliding in the city (its cute <3 shes actually very concerned bc you know you would do sm that would worry her, i mean i know im just flinging myself off of every surface all the time, esp in Mondstadt im not using no stairs💀)

And you just... turn to Aether/Lumine and say smth in English and they bust out laughing

(Or worse, u two are giggling like little shits✨️)

Dont feel too bad Eula, they do this to everyone

(Paimon's constantly on ya'lls case abt it)

Like u didnt even say anything rude (probably), as u explained to Eula, but its like this all the time, sm ppl even find themsleves jealous of this bond you two have got, tho whether they are jealous of Aether/Lumine or you is still still hard to tell,,)

♧

IM SO GLAD ONE PERSON OUT THERE GOT THE FLOWERY SPEECH -> YOU REPLY -> VINE BOOM 🤝🤝🤝 THING I WAS TRYING TO CONVEY

Thats deadass like how i imagine half the time it would be like talking to ppl, esp if ur critizing smth that person was doing lmao (like roasting them)

Its even funnier if like, u didnt hear the vine boom so to speak, like u got ur back to the rest of the characters/npcs while ur talking to this one person and u dont even know u just said smth that's got like one person crying laughing

(KAEYA, aether/lumine, hu tao, KAVEH, Venti, childe, Yae Miko, SCARAMOUCHE/WANDERER, beidou, off the top of my head)

♡

Another one is just standing there in shock, when will they unfreeze? Only time can tell

(Zhongli, jean, eula, keqing, ayaka, ganyu, kuki shinobu, once again off the top of my head theres so many characters at this point in genshin help)

♡

They're just like,, processing still, theyre probably overthinking everything u say bc to them you give so little information 💀 i can see the like transparent images of their thinking faces floating around them now LMAO

(Alhaitham, zhongli again rip, DILUC, kaeya's also laughing at him not just you his stomach hurts help him, Ei, XIAO, ALBEDO, Ayato but he'd also be muffling a laugh, Kazuha maybe i can also see him just giggling n shit, Kokomi, CYNO, Tighnari but also he'll react like its the funniest joke ever while he's trying to actually think abt it, so he just ends up standing there, thinking outloud, then cracking up over and over again lol)

♤

Oh Cyno u sweet summer child, as soon as u started making puns it was over for him, no one can stop you, even if Tighnari can't understand ur language rn he can definitely just sense there's bad jokes being made, esp if Cyno gets it and his lip like, twitches upward or even worse, he chuckles.

(Tighnari's totally getting onto him for corrupting you)

☆

pLEASE US ACTUALLY TRYING TO SPEAK LIKE THEM 😭😭😭

What a cute image, just some of them reassuring us and some of them thinking its cute for trying, and we look around the room when we try for feedback i know i would 😭😭

If i actually got close tho they better give me a headpat or smth

___________

Anyway THANK YOU for the ask!! (subliminalmessingpspspspspscometomeaskscomepspsps)

That was a BEAUTIFUL✨️ thing to read, got my heart doin backflips and shit 😳😊🥰

God this is so long im so sorry everyone

Cheers,

🌒🌊🌧Aquarius♒️🌌🌘

[disgruntleddd]

AITA for wanting to cut ties with my ex?

I (22) have been friends with my ex-fiancé (21) since we were 14. We were best friends for years and they crushed on me for ages, until we finally started going out when I was ~18. We were each other's firsts and we got engaged when I was 20 and they were 19. We moved in together when I was 21 and they were 20.

Last November (six-ish months ago now, jeez, time flies) they broke up with me. They were sexually assaulted in a club and told me that the experience made them realize that they want to be more upfront with their boundaries and desires. They don't think we're compatible like that and wanted to date someone more similar to themselves while still being my best friend, like we were before.

For a while, I tried to make it work even though I was absolutely miserable being around them knowing that what we had was gone. They had an online friend, we'll call him D (24), who they'd grown close to over the course of the year or so we'd lived together. Well, they already had a visit planned months in advance for D to come out and stay in our apartment for two weeks. They told me that they were romantically interested in D, and wanted to see how things went in person. I didn't want to ask them to cancel such an expensive trip so short notice, so I sucked it up. At the time, I expressed that I wanted D to sleep on our fold-out couch (we have a two-bedroom, and they got their own bed after the breakup) but they told me that who they invite into their bed is none of my business.

Anyway, so, my ex lied to me. Turned out that they'd already been dating D for a couple of weeks before the visit took place. The walls are not thick so I heard them fucking more than once. My ex invited me out to drink with them and I ended up crying because it was really painful to watch them hang off of someone else and loudly make jokes about all the sex they were going to have later.

Fast forward a couple of months, and D gets kicked out of his apartment and needs somewhere to live. This is where shit hits the fan, and what prompted this post.

D has never liked me, although he tries very hard in a shallow way to make me like him. (I think it's an anxiety thing — he wants me to like him because then I feel less threatening, not because he actually cares about getting to know me, you know?) I overheard a phone conversation between Ex and D where he was ranting about how I have no friends because I'm such an unlikeable bitch, I'm never going to change or improve myself, he fucking hates me, I'm a narcissist, Ex needs to move out and cut ties with me because I'm so toxic, blah blah blah. D also has schizophrenia, multiple personalities due to severe childhood trauma, he age-regresses (constantly; his default mental age is ~17), and he's an alcoholic. All of this to say that he is a very paranoid and depressed person.

(Side note: I expressly told my ex that I didn't want him to stay in our apartment. They said that they understood and assured me it would only be for a few days while they found him a place. It's been ~3 weeks now, and he's still here.)

I was woken up one night a week ago by my ex and D having a very loud conversation about suicide. D was having a mental breakdown/panic attack and ex was actively having to keep him away from pills and knifes. I laid in my bedroom and listened to D describe a fantasy in which he takes a gun and blows his brains out in front of me — apparently because I am a huge source of depression and anxiety for him, on account of me not liking him.

I don't believe I've been mean to D. I simply don't care about him. I do my best to not acknowledge him/pretend he doesn't exist. My ex disagrees.

They claim I've been outwardly cruel to him and that my hostility is the reason for his near suicide-attempt. They called me all sorts of names and pinned the blame almost entirely on me.

That night of the panic attack, I also became anxious that D would try to do something to hurt me or my two cats. (He has a history of animal abuse/murder.) I went to the kitchen and grabbed a knife to sleep with because I was too tense to get back to sleep.

Well, D found out about the knife and apparently he is now terrified that I'm going to do something to him (and he could have only known about it if my ex told him, as he does not enter my room EVER), which my ex also blames on me.

My ex made the decision to break our lease and move out around a month ago. Rather than find a new roommate, I decided to get a small one bedroom apartment for myself. My ex seems upset about this. I told them blatantly that I don't want to see each other or even communicate once the move is completed, which I don't think they've grasped. They keep making remarks about trying to stay in contact or me visiting them at their new place.

I am a college student and I have a job. I have missed three of my morning classes this month already because my ex and D both like to stay up late at night and play games in the living room and/or drink together. They both talk very loudly and this can go on until 2 in the morning. It's nearly impossible for me to relax and sleep with their constant activity. I also do the dishes, feed the pets, clean up after them, sweep, take out the trash, throw away the beer cans they both leave everywhere, hell, I've even done their laundry.

The only thing my ex does is cook occasionally, which they seem to think is an effort towards our friendship, when they consistently prioritize D's dietary desires over mine, never help me with my groceries, and when they order food, never get anything for me. If there is enough food for three, then they will offer me some. That's about it.

They make no effort to spend time with me and actively avoid having difficult conversations while at the same time accusing me of moving out because I'm "running away from my problems." They want to be both my best friend and a good husband.

Oh, yeah. Ex and D are married as of last week, ish. No idea why. Not my problem.

But, the way I see it, it is functionally impossible for Ex to prioritize someone as high-maintenance as their new husband AND be my friend at the same time, considering all of the emotional conflicts going on in our fucked up little situation here.

(Side note: all of this is IGNORING the 3k my ex owes my parents, as they helped us both out when my ex lost their job last year. My ex told me that they're frustrated because it feels like my family is "ganging up" on them, and that they were under the impression my parents would just forgive the money and all of us could part ways on good terms. I have literally no idea where they got THAT impression.)

I feel ignored and underappreciated. I am also fairly confident that I'm being gaslit, as Ex constantly blames me for my feelings AND for D's feelings. I am posting this now because I legitimately cannot tell if I'm overreacting or not. Ex makes me doubt my thoughts and the validity of my actions. (RE: the knife incident, they chastised me for scaring D all because I was "paranoid," when I brought up the phone call I overheard, Ex told me that D was just drunk/angry and didn't really mean it, the last time I complained about them both being noisy (during sex) it was brushed off as me being bitter that I'm still single, etc)

I know that Ex is also stressed and dealing with a lot. Am I being too harsh? Am I overthinking this? Should I buckle down and try to make it work? I've been friends with them for ⅓ of my life — they've been with me through my worst and my best. So much of who I am is shaped by them. I don't want to give that up, but I also think that maybe I need to if I'm ever going to improve myself/my mental state.

I am legitimately looking forward to moving out on my own, being responsible only for myself, only cleaning up my own messes, focusing on work and school and potentially maybe even making some new friends. I don't want Ex in my life anymore, I just want to put the last year behind me, and I think they know that — they're just in denial. They want to have their cake and eat it, too.

[toooster]

One of a Kind. | Criminal Minds AU| Chapter 5

Summary: I don’t want to write one 😪

Warnings: SA! Rape! Sexist cop! Swearing/cussing! Jackie Santori!

Words: 1.8k

A/n: this chapter is heavily based on that one episode in either the end of season two or start of season 3, (I don’t remember) which is why the warnings are there. Also I think this is the quickest I’ve updated in a while..in the middle of writing this I started crying and had to stop- so that’s why it took longer 😭

The new case was located in a city all too familiar to Aaliyah, the moment Spencer woke her up, her heart started racing.

What if she saw his mother? What if she saw his father? What if she saw his sisters? A million questions flooded into her head, making her heart pound.

Spencer, Derek, Emily, and Aaliyah all went to the victims house while JJ, Hotch, and Rossi went to the precinct.

About 20 minutes passed before Aaliyah noticed they were pulling into the victims neighborhood. Brookdale , why did that sound so familiar?

I stepped out of the SUV with Emily close behind me, the boys had already approached the door, waiting for us to join them.

After about 3 knocks the door opened to reveal a sweet looking older lady, about 75. She looked at me with a shocked expression, almost like she knew who I was.

Morgan started talking to her while I took a minute to scan my surroundings. Then I saw it. The big sign with Joey's face on it, that read "Live Like Joey Santori. #LLJS"

My heart sunk to my toes.

I was currently standing at the neighbor's house of my dead boyfriend's childhood home. "You coming?" Reid asked me as I stood there, almost as if I couldn't move.

I snapped out of it and walked in with Reid, the older woman sat on the couch as Morgan and Emily spoke to her. Every now and then she'd give me a look, like she was begging me to save her from all of this.

I'd give her sympathetic looks and then nod to whatever either of them had said, it continued like that for about 15 minutes before we got back in the car and headed towards the precinct.

As we walked through the doors, the smelled of strong, cheap cologne filled my nostrils. It smelt like high school all over again.

I sat down with one of the officers as we started looking through evidence, "so which one did you sleep with the get here?" He snorted, "excuse me?" I asked with disgust in my tone.

I was hoping I hadn't heard him right. "You heard me, a pretty girl like you doesn't just make her way to the BAU." He responded with another snort. "Ok Kermit, here's what we're not gonna do, make sexist jokes. I'm here because I worked my ass off, that's more than you can say, officer scoller." And with that I walked off.

If I hadn't, I probably would've slammed his head into a wall, what's with men lately I thought to myself. I dread for the day that Avi has to deal with this.

I'd only been in page for a couple hours, yet I was still waiting for the news that we could go home.

So far we knew nothing about our unsub or our victims. We had two 30 year old males, dead, missing their junk and hands. I could already tell this was going to be an interesting case.

"Where do we go from here? We've got nothing, no finger prints, nothin." Scoller huffed. Oh how I wish this unsub would take him too.

"We interview anyone who worked around the time the bodies were dropped, they were dropped in an Alley surrounded by bars, shops, and restaurants. Some had to of seen our unsub." Rossi spoke, "Our unsub is most likely a female, possibly a history of being sexual assaulted or raped." I added, "Why take their penises though?" Another officer asked, "It's a sign." Reid explained, "In cases like this, most women do it to show that they can't hurt anyone anymore."

"Hunt, your from around here right?" Hotch asked as everyone started to dismiss, "Yes, unfortunately." I replied. "Great. Take Reid with you to the crime scene, talk to anyone who might've seen a woman talking up guys." "Got it. Let's go Reid!" I yelled as I grabbed my keys.

The car ride was silent, which was unusual for Reid. He was always yapping about something, but it was a comfortable silence.

"We're here." I told Reid as I opened my car door, revealing cigarette buds all over the asphalt. Ew. I thought to myself as I stepped out of the car.

Reid followed me into a nearby bar, I could feel his breath on the back of my neck. I could also hear his heartbeat going a mile a minute, why was he so nervous? I thought.

We walked to the bar, only to be welcomed by the worst sight ever. "Well what a surprise? You finally bring my grandbabies? Oh I hope you didn't bring them in this bar!" Jackie hissed.

"No and no. I'm here for work, so I need you to move." I hissed back at her, "Why can't you ever be kind? Who's this handsome young man? New boy you?" She asked, playing with Reid's tie.

I was quick to ripped it out of her hands, "No. Jackie, leave it. Have a nice day." I said as I pulled Reid by his tie towards the nearest bartender.

"Who was that?" Reid asked me as he smoothed his tie, "don't worry about it." I responded. "Hi. I'm Agent Hunt, this is Dr.Reid," I explained as I flashed my badge, "Was there a woman in your bar, around a week ago?" I asked, "she would've been flirtatious, any man that gave her the light of day she'd talk to. Short or tall, Attractive or not." Reid added.

"That's pretty much every chick that steps into this bar. Most women come here to get laid, so they take anyone." The bartender told us, "She would've been very provocative, even going as far as giving men money." I explained again.

"Now that you say that, there was this one girl. Real petite little thing, only about 4'9? Maybe 115 pounds? Brown hair, green eyes. She was hitting on all of us. I'm not even sure she was 21. She had a stack of cash in her bra, I guess guys found it attractive." "Great thank you. Is the bouncer that was there that night, here?" I asked.

"One sec, Gary! Is Buddy here?" He yelled towards the back of the bar, "Yeah, he's out back smoking a cigar." The man who I presume was Gary responded.

Reid and I went out back to talk to Buddy, only to find a 5'6 man with a bushy beard smoking a cigar. "I thought he'd be bigger.." I whispered to Reid.

"You buddy?" Reid asked, "yes sir. How can I help ya?" "We need to know the name of a girl that was here like Thursday." "Alrighty." he responded, "she was around 4'9, about 115 pounds. She had brown hair and green eyes, very flirty." I said as I read off of Reid's notebook.

"Oh ya! Uh Rosemary..uh Gomez?" He said slightly wary, "thank you." I responded before heading back to the car, Reid close behind.

As soon as the two got in the car Reid called Hotch to let him know what they'd found out. "Good work you two. I'll have Garcia send you and address so you can bring her in." Hotch said as he hung up the phone.

It only took Garcia about 5 minutes to find Rosemary’s address and give it to us.

We pulled up to her house, it was small and cute. Had a cute little welcome sign on the front door, little motivational rocks spread throughout the garden. If she hadn’t cut off a dudes penis I would’ve thought she was the sweetest person ever.

*knock lnock* “Can I help you?” The girl asked, she looked exactly like how they’d described her. “Hi, I’m Dr.Reid, this is Agent Hunt. We’re with the FBI. We need to speak with you.” As soon as it left Reid’s mouth she bolted.

“Damnit!” I yelled as I pushed the door out of my way and took after her, she wasn’t very fast. I tackled her to the ground and threw the handcuffs on her.

“Why’d you have to make it harder than it has to be?” I hissed at her as I yanked her up from the ground.

We headed back to the precinct, as she yelled and cussed us out the whole ride.

When we got back to the precinct I was insistent on interrogating Rosemary, Hotch didn’t like the idea but I felt she’d be more comfortable with a female if my hunch was right.

I started pacing the room as I put my hands on my hip. “You grew up in a single parent home, most likely only your father was present. You often craved male validation due to the fact your father never gave it to you, yet when you get said male validation you start to view the men as objects. Like once was done to you,” I stated, “you were raped or sexually assaulted by a male, most likely older. Any older male you see who reminds you of the man who did this to you, makes your blood boil. Which started the killings, you started getting validation form the killings, cutting off their genitals gave you a since of comfort. Knowing they couldn’t hurt anyone..yet they weren’t the ones who did it to you. Meaning the men or..man who did it to you is either dead or far far away.” I continued on.

She sat in front of me and stared blankly at the wall, she had tears welding in her eyes. Any moment she would break, and I knew that. So I kept going.

“You decided a long time ago not to have children, because the idea of a man..doing that to you again, even with consent made your skin crawl. The meer thought of having a son disgusted you.” I watched as she started to break down.

I had her right where I wanted her, “I’m right, aren’t I?” I asked her. “Stop it!” She yelled as she slammed her fist onto the table, “please just stop!” She begged.

“Is that what those men begged of you while you took away their manhood?” I questioned, she sobbed in front of me. I almost felt bad for her.

“I had to!” She confessed, “they would hurt other girls if I didn’t!” She yelled in between sobs. “They weren’t the ones who did it to you and you knew that! Those were innocent men! I mean killing your rapist I can understand but killing random men who did nothing is sickening.” I spoke with disgust lacing my voice, make sure she could hear it.

And with that I was done, but it was easy. Too easy almost. “Good job Hunt. That was scary, I’ll admit.” Morgan said as he patted me on the back, “what’s wrong?” Emily asked as she walked up behind me.

“I can’t help but feel bad for her..she went through so much. She was trapped in this cycle. She saw every man as her rapist, it was never ending for her.” “Yeah I understand. Unfortunately this is part of the job.” Emily said as she rubbed my back and walked off.

[thejediandthemandalorian]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

I was tagged by @texasdreamer01 😊

1.) How many works do you have on ao3

9, though some of them are only visible if you're logged in.

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

64,757, not a lot but there's nothing wrong with that.

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Star wars, lots of Star Wars. I think I wrote for Yuri!!! On Ice before? I used to write for Marvel, I did a little bit of Phantom of the Opera (very little), I have some unpublished Avatar the Last Airbender fics, and I am currently writing for Our Flag Means Death 🤭 I hope around depending on what I feel/am hyperfixating on, but ultimately it always comes back to Star Wars.

4.) What are your top five pics by kudos?

Fighting For Your Power - one of my first published Star Wars fics. Definitely not my favorite and also unfinished, a common occurrence with my ever changing brain.

If I Could Hold You For a Minute (Darling, I'd do it Again.) - Codywan. A little hurt comfort thing that takes place after the Rako Hardeen incident

Orbital Decay - another Codywan fic, probably my longest posted fic at this point in time.

And cowboy is his name - a short little bobadin cowboy au that I'm thinking of adding more onto, whether it's little snippets or an actual story is to be seen.

To Be A Good Soldier - a Commander Cody fic, kinda my own little headcanon as to how he got his scar.

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do, it just takes me a while to get there. I'm always a little slow on the up taking. I reply to comments because someone took a brief moment of their time after reading my story to let me know their thoughts, and it means the world to me, so the least I can do is respond to their comments.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

A fic that no longer is on AO3 🙈 I took it down after a couple years of like....no one reading it, and decided to keep it to myself, like a dragon. The story is hurt comfort without any of the comfort lol. Poor poor Garashir, doomed by the narrative and also me.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oooooh let me think. Recently they all have happy endings because I myself need one. Uhhhhhh. Probably Orbital Decay. My babies get together very tentatively at the end.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Ehhh my fics don't get seen by a wide enough audience I think. The only 'hate' I've ever gotten was someone demanding me tag something, but it wasn't even very hateful so. No I guess not.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Once upon a long time ago, but I haven't in ages and frankly it makes me uncomfortable to write, always has.

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't, it's not something that holds my interest.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of...😳

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

No sir-y

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

Yes and no? It's a collaborative fic, but I'm not the one writing it, I just had the base idea and give more ideas for the concept and squeal and cry over it.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

It changes with the tides, but how can I pick one set of my beloveds over another?

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of them. Lol uhh I really really wanna get the Codywan AU fic written, but I'm at a point where I currently don't have it in me, I don't have much writing in me at all right now.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue. I love dialogue. I've also been told, and I have to trust what people tell me, that I'm very descriptive and also know how to write a fight scene.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Lack of confidence in my skills. Inability to finish what I've started. Making sure I'm keeping people in character, and also I tend to lack in the plot department.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

Well, I think so long as you...ugh this one is tricky cause I don't know how to phrase it. I like to write in other languages in very very small doses. A little smattering here and there. But also, I feel like it's important to know the language you're writing in or consult someone who does for accuracy? Idk how to explain it.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel. Marvel. And more Marvel. I had a very long story (with no actual plot) posted to a different site, and then took to writing people's requests for Marvel ship fics for a time.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Uhhh idk To Be a Good Soldier? I'm not entirely sure. Maybe it will be the little OFMD fic idea I had, but who knows.

Softly nudging @poibynt @missypup @frostbitebakery and anyone else who might like to do this

[gen0c1de]

I got my first tattoo!

A longer post about the details of my experience and whatnot. Hopefully a bit of a stress/anxiety relief for those who are getting their first tattoo and want some form of reassurance. <3

I'm 19 years old, and in the state of Michigan in the US, idk what tattoo laws are anywhere else, but when you turn 18 years old, you're considered a "legal adult" although you can't legally purchase nicotine or tobacco nor can you purchase or drink anything alcoholic. Can't go into a casino or even rent a vehicle. But I digress.

The tattoo I got is in memory of my father who passed away July 12th, 2017. Just a few minutes shy of my 13th birthday... so that was fun to wake up to. He had an all black tribal armband tattoo around his left upper-arm, which was his dominant arm, and it wasn't finished because it hurt him too much to finish the underarm part.

I was gonna get his tattoo or something close to it on my left upper-arm, but I have an implant where the tattoo would be so I chose to have it mirrored and put on my upper right arm, my dominant arm.

I was nervous as fuck and I was low on iron at the time so I was twitching like hell, so that didn't help calm my nerves or anxiety about it getting messed up. The outline didn't hurt and he did the underside of my arm first because that part is a bitch to do last cause of how sensitive the area already is. So adding on it being tender from doing an outline would've made the ordeal WAY worse. I likely wouldn't have been able to get it finished so it would have been unfinished like my dads was lmfao.

The filling part of the process was decent in the beginning, it only really hurt when he would have to go over the same spot multiple times to get it filled, much like when you color in a book or on paper, you have to go over the same area a few times to make sure its all even and complete. So when he reached the back of my arm it was more painful because it had an hour untouched, so the newly sore areas were being abused again.

It wasn't as painful as I had expected though, I'm a bit of a cry baby when my body actually LETS me cry and I surprisingly didn't cry, so the anxiety of me crying and embarrassing myself went away after a while. I did flinch a time or two and I apologized a lot throughout because I wanna be a good client and I don't want the artists to have a bad impression of me so when I go and get another tattoo they won't be annoyed that they have to deal with me.

The artist was super cool and talked to me every now and again and let me rest my arm when I had to have it above my head so he could do the underside. He said if I needed a break to let him know and complimented me on how I barely reacted in the beginning and how, although I was shaking from adrenaline, my right arm was perfectly still for him. He did grab, pull, and stretch my skin some and I had a large bruise but it didn't hurt, just looked weird for a few days.

When it was peeling it was SO HARD to not pick at the skin... I ended up picking some off and so there's a couple little places that are discolored, but if I make an appointment to get it touched up within the next 3 months then the touch up is completely free, so that's a plus! I'll make sure not to pull at the skin when I get it touched up...

Also, it's at the itchy stage. It's so hard not to scratch it... so if anyone has any tips or pointers on what to do, that would be great... cause I can not ignore it... I have ADHD. If it bothers me, I will focus on it and won't be able to distract myself. If I do manage to forget about it, my brain will suddenly be like: "Yo, remember how itchy it is? Wonder if it still itches like a motherfucker." and then the cycle repeats.

My dad's tattoo

My tattoo!

[moodywyrm]

hi moony! i saw u were feeling sad and insecure and wanted to share a little trick/advice i guess whenever i’m feeling the same way especially bc of pics i’m in. the first thing i do is stop looking at the pics bc the more i look, the more i over analyze, and start criticizing all the flaws i think i see. i give it a couple hours, sometimes a couple days. i remember how much fun i had wherever i was and try to keep myself from thinking about how i looked. after some time has passed i’ll look back at the pics and i usually find that what i thought were really bad pics of me actually end up being really cute pics. granted, they don’t always end up being pics i feel confident enough to post anywhere, but they’re pics i can look back at and smile at instead of pick out whatever flaws i think i see. i know this advice is all about mentality and it’s easier said than done :( but i hope it helps a little bit 💕 remember, we are our biggest critics and the flaws you think you might see aren’t flaws at all in the eyes of friends, family, loved ones, even a random passerby, etc

also just wanted to say i absolutely adore your writing and your account. i always check whatever blurbs or even small life updates you post on here cause you’ve created such a safe space on ur acct and ur such a good writer too (literally obsessed w the way u write abby <3). anyways, hope u have a little bit happier of a night/morning/afternoon (idk time zones haha). lots of love!!

you're gonna make me cry harder baby :( im gonna try and not look at the photos, but honestly it's not even just those </3 I don't know if this sounds bratty or makes me a bad person, but whenever I go out with my friend, she's the only one who gets complimented and it happens All The Time, and it always hurts when im just there like the troll next to her. and I know it's not her fault and I would never blame her, but I also know I will never be perceived as the pretty one no matter who im with and it just kinda .... sucks. a lot. i felt really pretty when we got the renfair and then it just got worse as the day went on bc we only ever got complimented as a group (five of us total) and then it kept happening even after renfair when we were running errands and idk. maybe im just being a brat.

and thank you :( I actually get really anxious about my fic writing style bc I'm 100% an academic writer who wants to do creative writing, but y'all make me feel safe :( I hope you also have a good morning/night/afternoon, it's night for me rn <3 besitos baby

[flowers-for-hobi]

I've had the worst nightmare i had in a while. Very long rant

Trigger warning emotional/physical abuse

In the dream I'm trying to convince my family to stop going down this path of delusion flat earth and other religious hotep stuff connected to us being black people and having Jewish ancestry (I'll save the stupid details)

(which is happening in real life and has been a slow progression into madness for years now) my sister just told me about the flat earth stuff that just got added into the mix recently which just sent me over the edge emotionally. And I guess I've been grappling with that not really knowing it. And also I started listening to a therapy podcast called second hand therapy which has been making me think. Which is a good thing in the grand scheme of things. But i also haven't seen my therapist in a couple months due to the debt I've been trying to pay off with her and just the nature of how my therapy relationship has evolved I don't need go see her every week. I've just been doing every couple months and doing ok with that.

The past couple months I've just been trying to cope and kinda push everything to the side with my work routine. But they podcast just opened a can of worms I wasn't trying to feel. Ouchy!!

In the dream I'm begging trying to tell my mom to stop this saying all the things that have been in my heart for years since a falling out happened 2/3 years ago. It's not working. after I while I remember crying in the dream walking away from my mother saying I'm so sorry I forgot you're like a dog loyal to my father and you would let him hurt me.

I go out from the room and my dad's asking what's going on. I tell him what I feel and start questioning his beliefs and proving his delusions wrong. Everytime he paused or has a shook on his facing trying to prove me wrong I yell *buzzer sound* wrong answer and explain why he's wrong. After the third time he charges at me cornering me trying to choke me (which he did to my sister during the Big falling out in real life)

I'm saying is it worth it hurting your family and please stop and then I Wake up.

It shook me so much I couldn't cry for a while. I ended up googling how to deal with nightmares. And kinda checking in with myself remembering what my therapist explained to me about anxiety and where I feel it in my body (which i usually feel it in my neck like choking)

For some reason while I was reading the article the quote from the article

"Our bodies are much more resilient than we think, so trust yourself that you’re going to be okay even if you didn’t sleep well last night"

After reading that I just start bawling. Just allowing myself to feel everything the fear the sadness.

My dreams/nightmares most of the time are very cathartic and try to tell me something. And I've had dreams/nightmares similar to this but it's been a long time i forgot how much they shake me. I think it"s reality setting in that I don't think me and my dad's relationship is salvageable cause he's not willing to listen to me or apologize to me (something he's been able to do with my sister) since the Big falling out) cause I know I won't ever bring it up. I'm tired of always being the one to try and fix it and have the big convos. So I'm leaving it up to him. And he keeps insisting my sister tell him how I feel about him and my sister like the freaking boss she is tells him that's between (me) and him. But i know he'll never ask me cause I already told him years ago how I feel. And I've been finally able to go over to their house and have moments of family again hug my dad and hang out again. But i also don't trust them anymore and I know it won't be the same. Cause without true communication there can't be any peace. And I won't be the one to reach out and have that conversation and i know my father won't so i just pretend like everything is ok just like he wants. But i know he feels the distance and it not being the same I lowkey enjoy knowing he's internally wiggling with that feeling. I'm just doing what we've always done in that house. Not talking about it just like he wants it.

[indecisive-dizzy]

I’m bored and about to fall asleep so have some of my welcome home ocs after pulling an all nighter

Daisey: oh boy are they emotional. Legitimately I feel like Howdy just has to drag them around because they’re clinging onto his leg or something crying about how much they love him and how they’d be nothing without him (yeah they get a little morbid, that’s just how my ocs get sometimes lol). They’re a mess and they literally just shove their face into the soil in their garden so they can lay down with their plants

Holly: she cannot focus for the life of her. She is zoning out left and right, her limbs are all wobbly, and she can’t even stand without the possibility of falling over. Usually she’s pretty sporty and active, so not being able to do that annoys her immensely. She’s also really stubborn so she tries it anyways and end up getting hurt in the process

Wallace: he’s a nerd, so he can handle staying up a little later than usual, but if he’s awake too long his brain just stops functioning. He’s forgetful, loopy, and he’s basically running on caffeine. He tries to read and do his usual chores but fails miserably. Barnaby has to help out and carry him around. He’s also hyper sensitive and cries a lot

Andreas: he just scribbles to pass the time, he’s really loopy after a long time. He’s also incredibly sick most of the time, but that’s mostly his shitty immune system if anything, even if sleep is a big contributor for that. Any art he tries to do turns out messy and unfinished, and he’s prone to messiness too. He’s covered in paint and clay, his hair is messier than it usually is, and he can barely balance himself

Lizzy: she doesn’t really sleep that much too begin with, so she can handle herself better than everyone else, but she is still sluggish after an all nighter. That’s about it, she’s just slower and visibly looks more tired but she isn’t super affected by it besides a couple headaches

Flora: she doesn’t sleep, she’s just the same as normal. Only she’s probably more irritable, but that’s more on the others bothering her (she’s tolerate Daisey’s tired antics, not everyone else’s because they’re too obnoxious)

I love them they need sleep

They get to have a fun sleepover with the other neighbors and they all conk out like 5 minutes into the slumber party

Anyways I might pass out soon so gn pookie :3

oh these poor babies (minus Lizzy and Flora they just vibing lol) they Do need sleep

I'd say I'm between Andreas and Lizzy after an all nighter. I'm loopy, dizzy (ha!), and occasionally nauseous but I can get through the day alright if I keep myself occupied lol

I hope they all get some rest,, all nighters suck lol

Oh! Sleep well! :)) <3

[timeoverload]

Today was bad and I'm glad it's over already. I did 25 cases between 7 and noon and had 3 rooms going at the same time while trying to manage the department by myself because so many people were gone again. I definitely overexerted myself and I was stressed about other stuff and I ended up having a panic attack and throwing up. My anxiety is out of control today. My stomach is still in knots but at least I'm home now. It was nice of them to let me leave 3 hours early because that never happens anymore. I hope I start feeling better soon but I'm planning on just going to bed after I finish writing this.

The good news is that tomorrow I'm going to be celebrating because it has been 2 years since I survived sepsis. I got sepsis because I had a horrible kidney infection and acute cystitis that didn't respond to treatment initially.

The week before I was admitted to the hospital, I had to go to urgent care because I was so sick that I was losing control of my bodily functions. My kidneys and liver weren't functioning properly and were starting to shut down so my skin was turning yellow. I was so nauseous and couldn't eat and my right kidney hurt so bad. I remember my ex was fighting with me that afternoon because he needed attention and didn't care that I wasn't feeling good. His needs were always top priority. I still remember how he berated me because I didn't have the strength to satisfy him and he was really mean to me when he didn't get what he wanted. He didn't take me seriously at first when I told him I felt like I was dying because I always felt bad and also tried to make me go out and do stuff anyway even though I could barely stand up straight. He didn't seem to notice or care how bad I looked or that I was shaking. He finally agreed to take me to urgent care because I was having a hard time breathing and couldn't control my bladder and I was bleeding. I remember going in the bathroom and looking in the mirror and seeing a corpse staring back at me. When we finally got to urgent care, I had never been so confused and disoriented in my life and I struggled to fill out the paperwork without collapsing. I received oral antibiotics and a shot of Rocephin in the butt and that was extremely unpleasant. That made some of the symptoms subside temporarily but the infection didn't go away and it got worse as the week went on. Antibiotic-resistant infections are so scary and are becoming more prevalent.

I was in so much pain that week before I went to the hospital that I spent most of my time curled up on the couch in the fetal position and screaming a lot because I couldn't help it. I knew the medicine wasn't working and I was scared. I remember my ex coming home angry because I had been off work for a couple days due to the issues I was having. He thought I was being dramatic when I was crying. He was mad because I had been home and I wasn't doing any cooking or cleaning or being productive and so I had to get up and force myself to clean some stuff so he would get off my ass. It made me feel so much worse but he didn't care. I literally had to beg him to help me with things. The next day I made a doctor's appointment because I couldn't take the pain anymore. If I wouldn't have gone to the doctor when I did, I probably would be dead. She told me I needed to be admitted to the hospital immediately and so I went and had to spend the night by myself because of covid restrictions. I was so dehydrated that it took them forever to get the IV in my arm. They kept stabbing me with huge needles and running tests and took so much blood from me. I was on IV antibiotics for 24 hours. It was a lonely and painful experience but I'm glad I pulled through. That would have been a very excruciating death. I'm thankful for modern medicine but I'm also afraid of being hospitalized now.

During the night I spent in the hospital, I spent a lot of time thinking about how unhappy I was with my life at the time. Even though I felt like shit, that was the first night I had spent alone in years and I couldn't believe how peaceful it was. It felt like the veil had been lifted from my eyes. That was when I officially decided that I was ready to leave my ex after contemplating the decision for a long time. It took years to build up the courage. I told myself I had to find a way leave if I survived. I didn't know how. He tried to be really nice to me after I was released from the hospital and shower me with gifts but I was so done after how he treated me. I was always loyal to him for almost 10 years, even when he treated me like garbage and was talking to other women. He kept trying to have an open relationship because he wanted to date other people but still have control over me. I never talked to anyone else. Going to get tattooed and going to work were the only things I was able to do by myself. He didn't really like that I was getting tattooed all the time though and would fight with me about it. I will just admit right now that going to the tattoo shop and seeing Maxwell was the only thing that made me happy at the time because I felt safe and accepted there. I wish it wouldn't have taken so long to get away from my ex and I thought I was going to die if I tried to leave but I'm glad I did it. I had to make a plan for myself and rebuild my strength. I was so afraid for my life but I didn't give up.

I tried to reach out to people to get help for months before I actually left because I didn't think I could do it on my own but no one would help me except my dad. No one took me seriously because I didn't know how to ask. I was just so fucking scared and I didn't know what to do.

Maxwell I'm sorry I tried to bother you back then right before I broke up with him in November 2021. I remember how mad you were at me for trying to ask to text you when I came in for a consultation. I don't blame you. I'm glad you let me come back anyway. I think you misinterpreted what I wanted because I wasn't trying to be unfaithful to him in the process but I suppose I was in a way because I can't say that I didn't have feelings for you. I was just lost and needed help and a friend. I just wanted to tell you what was going on. I was afraid to mention it while I was getting tattooed and also was afraid to talk about what was going on online because I was terrified he would find out and hurt me. I was so stupid for even saying anything to you in the first place. I still get embarrassed just thinking about it and I cried so much that day. I was seeking safety and guidance because I didn't have any at the time. I didn't know how to help myself because I was so used to someone else dictating most of my decisions. I've always had a tough time speaking up when I need help and I think my parents could attest to that. I was unstable and feeling impulsive when I did that. You were the only person other than my dad that I knew wouldn't hurt me and that I could trust.

I knew you and I were twin flames from the day we met. I knew about twin flames before I met you and I didn't think you would actually come along so I think that's part of the reason I'm so crazy. I couldn't believe it. Before I met you, I thought I was just going to be miserable forever. You helped me realize that I deserve to be treated better and you have always been such a gentleman. Thank you for that. I didn't think I could meet a man like you because I have had so many bad experiences. I also knew you were reading my blog and that we had an unexplainable connection between us so I was just being delusional and dumb and thought you would come to my rescue at the time for some reason. I have been truly ashamed of myself since I did that. I'm not a perfect person at all. I know I have made a lot of mistakes and I'm trying to learn from them and own up to it. It was still innapropriate and wrong and I wish I wouldn't have done that. I guess you live and learn. I should have never tried to ask you for help. I'm sorry again and I understand if you can't forgive me for that. I understand why you didn't want to trust me after that. I'm so bad at communicating sometimes. I just want to be honest with you because I don't feel right not telling you the truth. I hope you understand. That was the only time in my life I have ever done anything like that and will never do it again because I know that I won't let anyone put me in that position again where I felt helpless. You did the right thing by saying no to me and not getting involved and I'm glad you didn't get hurt because I care about you so much. I suppose you did encourage me to deal with stuff on my own and I did it and I'm free now. When we broke up I was honest with him and I told him I had feelings for someone else because I know I deserve to be treated better and that I was tired of him treating me like garbage and throwing me around like a rag doll.

I'm glad I have chosen to be celibate since I left him and I haven't dated or talked to anyone. People at work try to flirt with me but I don't feed into it because I don't want that. I want to get away from it so bad and that's why I complain about it. I don't like dating apps because they are scary and I tried those in high school and ended up in some really bad situations that I wish I could forget about. I'm too afraid of getting my ass beat again so it's better if I just stay home and not talk to anyone. I have been thinking about how much inner strength I have gained by being alone. I get a little crazy sometimes but I'm not going to let loneliness get to me. I deserve to be with someone who will appreciate me and protect me, especially when my life is in danger. I would rather stay single than settle for anything less. All I want is to be able to commit and love someone forever and feel safe and happy.

I'm also going to be celebrating my freedom tomorrow. I'm happy that I have accomplished so much in the last 2 years and I've become a lot more independent so I'm proud of that. I'm not exactly where I want to be in life but it feels good to set goals and actually achieve them. I am still grateful that I was given a second chance to live even though it hasn't been easy since then. I have had to be a lot more careful because it is more likely for me to have recurrent sepsis if I get an infection in the future. I read a study recently about how people that survive severe sepsis have a higher ongoing mortality rate for years even after treatment. It has definitely changed me a lot physically and mentally and I'm not as strong as I used to be. My health has really gone downhill from there. It doesn't help that I was born so early and I have so many other health issues going against me simultaneously. I really need to keep trying to take better care of myself because I want to live a long and happy life. I would like to be a mom someday. I want to have a family. I don't want to be a statistic. I'm not sure how much time I have left at the rate I'm going but I'm going to try to make the most of it and count my blessings. I will continue working on myself every day. I need to try to be more positive because I know I am very lucky to be alive. I'm looking forward to going to my appointment tomorrow and I'm going to do my best to make it a better day than today was no matter what happens.

[the-hard-days]

Grief and loss is wild.

I had a quick appointment with a doctor from the hospital yesterday in regards to my blood results. I'm not too sure if I heard her correctly, but my pregnancy hormones were sitting at over 2700, and have now dropped down to a 12. I'm not too sure what any of that means, but as an adult, I know those numbers are drastically different.

I'm having trouble sleeping, I've only been getting to sleep at about 3 or 4 in the morning, and then waking up around 8 the same day. My neck really hurts, and I have a raging, constant headache. I used to get migraines every now and then, but now It seems like it's every day.

it's also the first week Luke has been working away, which means I've been by myself for long periods of time. Sleeping by myself has never really been an issue, before he got into his current job he used to work nights, so I was used to being alone. I value alone time, and find it peaceful and productive. But the last couple of nights have been really rough.

I don't know what was so different yesterday, every other day I've felt like I've been handling things okay. Yesterday was different. I felt like something was breaking inside of me and no matter how hard I tried to keep it together, I just couldn't. I sat at my desk and just cried for what felt like a lifetime. It was like everything I was meant to be feeling over the last few weeks came out in a few moments. It was the type of cry which makes your whole body shake, and you end up feeling like you've just ran a marathon once you've stopped.

My parents and my nephew are coming over today to keep me company. My nephew is just over 2 years old, and it brings me so much joy being around him, but there's always that constant reminder of how my body failed me. He called me yesterday and wanted to see my dog and come for a visit, and whatever he asks, he usually gets, because you know, he's an adorable baby with squishy cheeks,

it's been a really hard couple of days. I'm meant to go back to work on Tuesday (It's now Thursday), but I think I'm going to see if I can extend my leave for another working week. I don't think I'm mentally or physically capable of looking after anything else but myself. I can barely get out of bed in the mornings, and most times can't even brush my teeth.

I hate asking people for help, and only a couple of people close to me really know how I'm really feeling. For everyone else, it's always I'm okay and I'm managing. But really it's been the biggest struggle I've ever had to face, and every day I'm reminded of what could have been and what I no longer have.

[boydepartment]

Hello everyone! Have you all been staying hydrated? If not, you should go take a sip of water. This week I've been feeling a bit anxious, so instead of writing paragraphs, I feel like listing out some things I like about the world. I've seen some people do it and I think it's cute how people notice the little things about others. You can list some with me if you want.

The way someone's face lights up when they see their friends

Getting up way before the sun rises and having compete silence to yourself

Holding hands and squeezing someone's hand for encouragement

Eating a bowl of hot soup on a cold winter day

When people split half of whatever they have to share with people

The smell of fresh laundry

Genuinely laughing so hard with someone that it makes your stomach hurt

When a choir sings together and you can't distinguish the female and male voices

When people are so happy they start tearing up and everyone around them starts crying as well

Nightlights and glow in the dark stars

When people refuse to end a call because they want to stay on the phone for a little longer

Getting someone a gift they really wanted and watching their reaction

To answer your question, I would prefer rom-coms over horror simply because I am a very jumpy person when it comes to loud noises and I tend to get really wacky dreams after I watch something scary. I am 100% a romantic anyways, but romcoms can be incredibly cringey if I am not invested in the plot/characters. I think what most people wouldn't assume I like is action films, but I 100% do not condone fighting irl, I just think the stunts actors perform are really cool. I also really liked detective and sci-fi books when I was younger, but a lot of what I read was absolutely terrible. Like bad time travel/loops, parallel universes, body swapping, etc, but I just read everything I could. Okay, I think that's it for now. Reminder to everyone here to go take a nap if you're feeling tired, sleep deprivation is not fun. I'm mostly calling myself out and to hold myself accountable for taking care of myself. Okay, cool. You're doing well everyone, I promise. <3

-🐑

Good day my dear sheepie!! I really love your list of the happy things. I think I will list a couple of my own!!

I love when I make someone laugh

I love when I hear people complimenting eachother

I love those cheesy airport videos where everyone is so happy to be reunited

I really loved whenever my dog would try to nonchalantly walk up to me bc he missed me

I really love when animals smile

I love when people have patience and are kind to one another

My list isn’t as long as yours but it’s okay!!! I probably could write a lot more but this is all I could thing about at the moment

I love Time travel movies, my favorites are Back to the Future and i have another one but it’s not very appropriate lol

I also really love action movies, I don’t enjoy when they’re super violent but I love when characters come together and that happens in the best way in action movies

Please take care of yourself sheepie ❤️

If you need anything this blog is always open for you

[akaraboonline]

How to End a Relationship With Someone You Still Love

Breaking up with someone you still love is even more painful than breaking up with your partner. Every day, it feels like your heart is being ripped out of your chest. You can put it off for as long as you want, convincing yourself that things will improve if you just wait it out, but you're only making things worse for yourself. I'd like to say that once it's over, you'll feel better, but healing takes time. In the meantime, there are some things you can do to make things a little easier. Here's how to end a relationship with someone you still love and deal with the fallout.

1. Accept that love isn’t enough

Isn't it like getting sprayed in the face? In my own case, I was young and naive. I assumed that love would be enough to solve our problems, but instead, they grew worse. A relationship can't always be saved by love. Just because you love him does not guarantee that it will last forever.

2. Realize it’s not your fault. 

I wish I had done this or that. Did I not love them enough? Stop placing blame on yourself. It's not your fault (or the fault of anyone else). Sometimes couples' paths diverge or their initial chemistry fades. In any case, the relationship is no longer working.

3. Think about what’s best for you. 

Is it really best to cry yourself to sleep at night? No. If you're this unhappy, it's time to call it quits. You'll get over it. You may even realize one day that there is a love stronger than what you are experiencing right now. You must look after yourself, even if it means breaking your heart.

4. Build some support first. 

I made the tragic mistake of not discussing the breakup with my friends and family. I severed things and had never felt so alone. Let your friends and/or family know what's going on, and make sure you have at least one person to talk to before calling it quits. You need help both before and after to ensure that you are not going through this alone.

5. Set aside some post-breakup time. 

I understand how difficult it is to think about life after a breakup. The one thing I got right was thinking about what I should do next to help me heal. I rearranged my schedule so that I could isolate myself and play music for several days. You can take a vacation, visit friends, or simply take a few days off from work. Set aside some time to deal with the initial wave of emotion.

6. Grab some tissues and have the talk. 

I don't like crying, but when I broke up with the guy I was in love with, I burst into tears. It was also the first time I saw him cry. I couldn't even say "we need to talk" without my voice breaking up. But don't give up. Say what you need to say while remaining respectful. It's okay to cry because this is hurting him as well. Through tears, say your goodbyes.

7. Be honest and direct but not cruel.

You know the relationship should come to an end. Don't beat around the bush or prolong the discussion. Be open and honest about your desire to end the relationship. Explain why you're leaving, but don't point a finger or blame them. Also, don't let them persuade or guilt you into staying. Your decision should be irreversible.

8. Stay away as much as possible. 

I was desperate to check on him. I knew if I did, I'd do something stupid like rekindle our relationship. Of course, even seeing him in passing was excruciatingly painful. Avoid following him on Instagram and hanging out in the same places. Simply stay away from him and give yourself time to get over him.   Read the full article

[honniedonnie]

Did you know Fennec foxed mate for life? Tighnari x GN!Reader ANGST

TW/CW: Major character death, (the reader is already dead) grief, depression, faking a happy personality, hurt/no comfort, mention of intense pain, you are cremated (out of spite, rant at the end)

Pronouns: They/Them

Notes: 1(one) mention of Y/N, the rest are pronouns or pet names. (i.e. darling, my love, etc.) You and Tighnari were married. I Wrote a mini rant at the end that was supposed to be included at the beginning, but it got longer that what I thought. (that’s what she said lol)

Word Count: 675 words

EDIT: whoops, there's a part 2 (two) also part 3 (three)

Masterlist

This is going to be my first time writing fanfiction since 2017 (I was 14 years old…) The only reason I’m writing is because I’ve got MAJOR brainrot over this Prompt 

By the way if there are any grammar issues please tell me. I will fix them because I apparently have anxiety over making a grammar mistake(s). (I learn something new about myself)

“Fennec foxes are monogamous and mate for life” (source - Fennec Fox | San Diego Zoo Animals & Plants)

‘It was supposed to be a simple walk, it was supposed to be a simple walk, it was supposed to be a simple walk’ Tighnari’s mind repeated the same sentence over and over again along with the image of his lover's dead body. Tighnari looked over your urn, twisting the gold ring on his left hand. You were only cremated after a couple days of discovering your body, your cause of death was clear; you decided to go for a walk into Avidya Forest, and decided to take a nap near a patch of flowers, only to never wake up. A withering zone appeared when you were sleeping. You died peacefully, at least that is what the coroner told him. Nightmares plagued his sleep; him seeing you in pain, and there was nothing he could do except to watch you die. The same nightmare; over and over again. There was a period of time that he absolutely refused to sleep; replacing sleep with caffeinated teas. It got to the point where Collei and other Forest Watchers had to replace his caffeinated tea leaves with calming/sleeping tea leaves. It took some time for Tighnari to believe that you died peacefully, and even longer for him to stop blaming himself over your death. (even though there was nothing he could’ve done) 

Eventually he forced himself to be happy; to be his former self. Even though his former self died alongside you. While the Forest Watchers and Rangers were relieved to have their Chief Officer back, they still had to be careful whenever they mention you. Even if he’s 100 feet away he can still hear them talking; talking about you, how you were too young, how heartbroken the Chief Officer was (is) about your death, and evening wondering if he would move on! Once he heard, oh boy was he furious. How dare they even think about that. Move on from the LOVE OF HIS LIFE! His lover, his darling, his partner, the person whom he’d married! Him?! Find someone else? He still has his wedding ring underneath his gloves, for Archons’ sake! Poor Collei had to drag him away before something bad happened. 

Tighnari’s was never the same after you passed. Around the days before and after your and his birthdays, anniversaries (both wedding and death) he refuses to leave his home, spending days taking care of the memorial he had for you. Cleaning your urn, clearing the dust from your self-portrait he had commissioned for as a birthday gift. (Took a lot of self restraint to not cry at the portrait, but sometimes he fails) He does try and get better, but how can he when he wakes up to an empty spot on the bed. How can he when you’re not there to kiss him goodbye and tell him to have a great day, and to be safe! Oh, and also not to eat some random mushrooms… again. How can he when everything reminds him of you, how can he…

“Collei, who’s (Y/N)?” A certain floating companion asked. A golden-haired traveler pondered as well; who was this mysterious person? 

“Shh, lower your voice Paimon.” Collei looked all over as if she was looking for someone. Deemed it to be safe, Collei answered the question. 

“They’re, I mean they were Master Tighnari’s spouse, umm they’d passed away a couple of years ago. He’s still grieving, so please don’t mention them in front of him!” Collei pleaded with the traveling duo. 

“Wait…How did you know about them?” “We overheard one of the Forest Rangers mentioning them”

“I see… Though I’m a little bit offended you didn’t ask me about my spouse” A new voice speaks out. 

“Tighnari! Hehe, you were here! Wait, your spouse? Aren’t they, you know, dead?” Paimon insensitively asked. Only realizing her mistake after seeing the faces of the traveler and Collei. “Don’t you know? My kind, we only have 1 (one) mate for life”

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

I’m taking a wild guess that burials are the norm considering A FUNERAL PARLOR EXIST! (I know some funeral parlors offer cremation services) Also Mondstadt has a cemetery behind the cathedral. ALSO HU TAO’S VOICE LINES (2 (two) lines about coffins, and 1(one) mention of burial) (Also if Liyue, Inazuma, and Sumeru are inspired by asian countries, then CREMATION SHOULD BE THE PREFERED METHOD OVER A BURIAL (source- List of countries by cremation rate - Wikipedia)) You know what! NO YOU ARE FUCKING CREAMATED I AM DOING IT OUT OF SPITE!

[beautifulblooms]

The Bane of My Existence, and the Object of All My Desires - Eddie Munson x Male!Reader

Male!Reader, he/him used if mentioned, so I got a lot of good reviews on my angst fic I posted earlier called “I Bite My Tongue It’s a Bad Habit”, which will be linked below, this is a part two, it’s a happy ending this time I swear, HOWEVER, there will be a sad ending posted sometime tomorrow when I wake up and write it, I’m just too set on making this end sadly, this is specifically for @alexs-playground and @eddieverse for yelling at me in vc on discord, but here it is, I hope you all enjoy a happy ending to a sad beginning

CIS Women and Female Aligned people, please DNI, this story and all of my others are for non-binary, masculine aligned and male readers!

I Bite My Tongue It’s a Bad Habit (part 1)

I Bite My Tongue It’s a Bad Habit (sad ending/part 2)

Tags: @qthetherapist, @rlmt1

It had been at least three weeks since I left, driving as far as I could on the tank of gas I already had in my car. I made it a few counties outside of Hawkins, got a cheap motel for a few days before I decided to look into a place I could make mine. A few days after being in the motel I found a simple job working the cashier stand at a grocery store, good pay for an easy job. I didn’t even want to think about Eddie, let alone Steve, so I just did my stupid little job and didn’t think of Hawkins.

The only thing I needed was a couple important documents I had left back home, in the one place I never wanted to go back. 7 in the morning I grabbed the same bag I left that shithole with and began to drive down to the familiar place I once loved. It was about 3pm by the time I made it back to Hawkins, another 10 minutes and I was at my old house, door still wide open from when I ran out and left. Parking the car I took a couple of minutes to process what I needed to do and where to go, also taking some deep breaths to remind myself I only needed to grab a couple papers from the safe. I opened the car door and made my way inside, not even bothering to shut the door as I made my way up the stairs and to my bedroom where I was honestly scared by the person laying in my bed. Sure I expected someone to sleep in the house, but I didn’t expect him to be the one laying in my bed at 3:16 on a Saturday, not the reason I left this shit town.

Slowly trying to back out of my room I knocked the door with my shoulder, fuck fuck fuck fuck, shit I need to get out of here quickly. He shot up in an instant after I bumped the door, still obviously waking up but shocked to see me of all people standing in the door way.

“(y-y/n)? Is that really you? Fuck wh-where have you been I’ve was so worried, I-I thought you died.” He stood up from my bed and made his way over to me. I wanted to yell at him to get away, run, find a way out of this but I was frozen. Eddie just hugged me around my middle and cried into my shirt, mumbling things about how much he missed me. “Where did you go, why did you leave, are you okay?” Looking up at me he was blurry eyed, tears coursing down his cheeks, welled in his eyes, face red and puffy, looks like he’d been crying earlier too.

“I’m um, I’m fine, just needed to leave this town, I’m not staying here, just grabbing some legal stuff and I’m going back.” He was starting to cry harder at my words, and began to plead with me.

“But why? Why leave this town, leave everyone, leave me? Why do you have to go far away from me?” I couldn’t take it anymore and just broke away from his arms.

“Because it’s not far enough Eddie! There isn’t a single place on this planet where I can be far enough away from you, my parents raised me well and to be an honorable man. That honor is hanging by a thread and every moment I spent around you was making that worse and worse. You are the bane of my existence, Eddie Munson, and the object of all my attractions. I have loved you since we were in middle school and it hurt so much when I saw you and Steve holding hands, kissing, being together. So yes, I have to go that far away because if I have to spend another minute in a town with you and him together, that’s not a world I want to live in.”

He couldn’t even look at me without more tears welling up, new warm streaks making their way down his cheeks. He began to sob slowly, hair falling in front of his face as he leaned his head down. I didn’t feel bad about what I said, it was relieving to say what I needed to.

“Then…then why didn’t you tell me you did?” He looked back up at me, pleading with his eyes.

“I tried, I asked you on dates, bought you gifts, but you didn’t notice, you always thought it was just me being a great friend.” In that moment I saw him begin to think back to all the things we’d done together, all the things I’d bought for him, everything that involved me. And then he began to laugh, the sobs made it difficult for him but he was still laughing.

“What’s so funny about me confessing to you?” He focused on me again, wiping the tears from his eyes trying to calm his laughter.

“Because this means me and Steve breaking up was a good thing after all.” ….what? They broke up while I was gone? How, why, what? “I caught him kissing someone else at skull rock, we were supposed to meet for a date. I yelled at him and called things off, and I couldn’t think of what to do so I came here to see you, you always knew how to make me feel better. And when you weren’t here I broke down, I thought that I had driven away the one person who actually cared about me in this town. It hurt so much when you didn’t come back, I couldn’t find you, I asked around town. But no one knew where you were.” I just stood there and stared at him, he looked for me, missed me, tried to find me?

“I’m sorry I got too obsessed with Steve, I realized later that I was neglecting you, I shouldn’t have done that and I realized it way too late. I’m so sorry (y/n), can you give me another chance?” I was looking at the floor trying to process everything, he cared about me, he was actually sorry, I need to fix this. I looked up from the floor and slowly approached Eddie, bringing a hand up to rest on his cheek to which he leaned into my hold. Slowly leaning my head down towards him, I paused a mere inch from his lips.

“Do you want this just as much as I do?” He didn’t even respond with words, only pushed his lips the last inch and pulled me into a kiss. It was rough, passionate, but somehow just as soft and caring as I hoped it would be. He only pulled away for a couple seconds at a time, catching his breath before coming back to me and leaving me breathless once more with just his lips. Pulling away again he rested his forehead on my shoulder.

“Does that answer your question?”