#also can’t do that because I have to work in the morning and I do not want to lose my job so
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Workaholic
Billy doesn’t notice, but he’s a workaholic. Like a really bad one.
Supes and Marvel: *talking*
Hero 1: “Hey, Cap!”
Marvel: *pauses his convo* “Yes?”
Hero 1: “Could you cover me for monitor duty? I have it later today at three.”
Marvel: “Oh, sure! No problem!” *smiles*
Hero 1: *extremely grateful* “Thanks a lot, man.”
A couple minutes later…
Hero 2: “Hey, Marvel, could you cover me for monitor duty for tomorrow morning?”
Marvel: “Sure!”
Supes: “Back to back monitor duty? Are you sure you want that?” *sounds concerned*
Marvel: “Yeah, why wouldn’t I?”
Supes: “I… never mind.”
A couple more minutes later…
Hero 3: “Cap, could you cover me for monitor duty-”
Supes: *sounds firm because he thinks his friend is being taken advantage of* “No, he will not.”
Marvel: *sounds confused* “But I want to?”
Supes: “Marvel, you can’t just accept monitor duty for nearly two days straight. What about Fawcett?”
Marvel: “What about it? I can protect it just fine with or without monitor duty.”
Hero 3: “If it’s really that much trouble, you can just say no, Cap-” *feels bad*
Marvel: “But I want to say yes!”
or
Marvel: *zoned out and listening to the Gods arguing his head*
Batman: “Captain.” *walks over, holding a tablet*
Marvel: “Yes?”
Batman: “You’re going to sign up for the latest long-term missions, right? Like usual?” *hands him the tablet*
Marvel: “Of course!” *looks at three missions available for sign up* “Do any of them overlap?”
Batman: “No, but-”
Marvel: “Great!” *signs up for all three*
Batman: “Did even read the content of the missions?”
Marvel: “No? Should I have?”
Batman: “Yes?? Are you sure you wanna sign up for all three, Captain? You’d be gone for nearly 3 months.”
Marvel: “Eh it’s fine. Tawny will cover for me, and I don’t think any of my villains will attack Fawcett if I’m not there.”
Batman: *stares for a second before sighing* “Alright then.”
Bruce took this as confirmation that Marvel doesn’t have a personal life. Being gone for three months without a single person noticing would be impossible if he had one.
or
Worker 1: “Ugh… I can’t believe this.”
Marvel: *appeared from nowhere* “What’s wrong? Do you need help?”
Worker 1: “AGH- Wha? Captain Marvel??” *in disbelief that the Captain Marvel is talking to him* “Uhhh no. I don’t need help at all.”
Worker 2: “He does. Help him, Cap.”
Marvel: “Okay!” *quickly helps and trots off to go help someone else*
Worker 1: *makes sure that Billy is far enough* “Dude, why’d you just make Captain Marvel help me?”
Worker 2: “I didn’t make him do anything. I think he just likes to be useful. Not that I’m complaining. He always looks so happy when he gets to help too.” *pauses to think for a bit* “Point is, just let him help if you need it.”
So yes, Billy will take any work, and seek out any work. He’s just that type of little guy. Anyways, Billy eventually found out that his workaholic tendencies were a little extreme when Freddy started also being a hero.
Junior: “I can’t believe I’m in the Watchtower!”
Marvel: “Yeah, it’s amazing right?”
Batman: “Marvel. The new sign up sheets are out- who is this?”
Marvel: “Ah, Mr. Batman Sir, this is Junior. Junior, this is Mr. Batman Sir.”
Junior: “It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir!” *hero worship is practically oozing out*
Batman: “Likewise…” *is internally confused* “Anyways, Marvel, the new sign up sheets for long-term missions are out. I assume you’ll be joining like always?” *offers the Sign uptablet*
Marvel: “How’d you guess?” *smiles and takes the tablet from him*
Junior: “Long-term missions?”
Marvel: *pauses just when he’s about to sign up for a mission, and looks over to Junior* “Oh right. Junior, I don’t know if you wanna come or not.”
Junior: “Uh…” *looks between Batman and Marvel* “Sure, I’ll go.”
Marvel: *smiles at Junior* “Good.” *looks over to Batman* “How long are they?”
Batman: *swears that just for a teensy weensy second, Marvel’s smile was fatherly* “Each of them should take approximately two weeks to complete.”
Marvel: “Really? That’s shorter than normal.” *looks over to Freddy nervously* “Are you okay with being gone for six weeks?”
Junior: “Si- six weeks?! Batman said we’d only be gone for two??”
Marvel: “Yeah, but that’s the length for one mission. There’s three listed here.”
Junior: “Wait, you’re signing us up for all three?!”
Marvel: “Yeah?” *sounds unsure* “How about I only sign you up for one instead? We’ll do that one together and I’ll do the other two alone.”
Junior: “Wha…? Why are you signing up for three in the first place?”
Marvel: “Because why not?”
Junior: “Dude, that’s not normal.”
Marvel: “Of course it is! Mr. Batman sir hasn’t ever said anything.”
Junior: “That doesn’t mean it’s normal.”
Batman: “He is right. Signing up for three missions in a row, leaving earth for occasionally months at a time isn’t normal for anyone besides Green Lanterns. Captain, when was the last time you haven’t signed up for the latest mission and instead relaxed?”
Marvel: “I don’t know… but I do relax! Every single minute of me not being a hero is me relaxing!”
Junior: “Is it though…?”
Billy still ended up signing himself up for the three missions. Freddy decided to join him on the other two as well, so he wouldn’t be leaving his new buddy alone.
(Also, I’m sorry, but I had to just sneak in that little itty-bitty piece of Dad Marvel)
#billy batson#shazam#dc captain marvel#captain marvel dc#fawcett city#fawcett#fawcett comics#freddy freeman#captain marvel jr#batman#bruce wayne
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yandere!batfam/damian’s twin!reader
okay so! in these neglected!reader fics Dick is almost always the one who’s like trying to reach out the most. because of this, personally(!) i feel like he’s the kinda guy who just wants his family to be whole so he kinda takes up the position of like father+brother combined (eldest child syndrome lowkey). he kinda becomes the most present figure in the twins’ lives and i think it goes double for reader tbh.
like breakfast lunch dinner Dick is right there with her and yaps her ear off. i think that where Bruce is the kinda dad that wants you to finish what you start, Dick is the kinda brother that’s like “if you don’t wanna do it, then don’t” ykwim? wanna do ballet? he’s at every recital. hate it? well, it wasn’t for you anyways! any practice, game, show, concert, he’s there. and if you decide you absolutely hate whatever it is, he’s there for you too!
just like general supportive older brother, but turned up juuuust a smidge. i feel like in the yandere aspect, he’s not really the type to go try and murder someone. sure he might hurt someone, but he’d at least want to avoid murder. it’s more like he’s gonna try and keep her home/with him as much as possible. like where are you going? it’s family game night! when did we start family game nights? don’t worry about it! now come on, it’s monopoly.
jason, on the other, WOULD probably kill someone. buuuuut i think it’s more so if she get physically hurt by someone would he be pushed to murder. emotionally? he’ll probably just beat them up and threaten them. but if they put their hands on her? mmm yeah you’re dead. sorry!
i feel like jason, who’s literally died and come back to life consumed by rage, would see reader as the opposite of himself. as good, where he is bad. and i think that on one hand he wants to push her away, to not taint her with the darkness that consumes him. but on the other hand, he’s had so much taken from him, seen death at every corner, even met the man face-to-face. can’t he be selfish just this once?
so, in the early hours of the morning, before the sun comes up and his duty as Red Hood is done for the night, he seeks her out. he comes back to the manor, climbing through her bedroom window. she’s still asleep and he just stands there, listening, watching, reminding himself that she is alive and so is he. he doesn’t touch her, he can’t— can’t poison her good with his bad. so, he settles for observing. maybe one day he can work up the courage to speak with her, seek her comfort. but for now, he’s content with simply existing around her.
tim is also an observer in like a borderline stalker kinda way. makes everybody download life360 but he watches her location like a hawkkkk. also gifts her a phone that’s totally safe i swear! don’t mind that any texts from an ex or someone that you have bad blood disappear right after you get them. they probably just unsent them!
he’s like Dick in that he tries to convince her to stay home often. but his way of doing it is… different. you wanna go for a walk on this street? actually there’s footage of a robbery that took place near there recently, probably not safe. wanna go to a friend’s house? um, according to their school records, they got detention in 5th grade. that’s a bad influence, girl! don’t worry, we can play mario kart or something instead!
with duke i feel like, compared to the others, he’s the closest you’ll get to a regular brother. he’s the closest in age to the twins and he joined the batfam after damian in canon. he’s also very kind and soft(?) so it’s unlikely he’s gonna go full stalker and/or killer over his sister. don’t get me wrong, he could kick ass if needed. but when it comes to reader, he’s mostly just trying to bond with her. watching movies in his room, sneaking out to get ice cream together, even at the ‘Wayne Galas’ he’ll stick by her side.
duke is veryyy caring and passionate, plus i feel like he’s sympathetic as well. so when you need comforting, he’s probably the best to go to. cause he won’t be the kind to go find whoever made you upset and ‘talk to’ them. instead, he’s gonna comfort his sis! unless it was someone who physically hurt her, then he’ll probably pay them a visit. but he’s not gonna kill them, i just can’t see him doing that.
next up the batgirls 😛 just as a note this is all my interpretation of the characters. if you think it’s ooc, no you didn’t ❤️
also does anyone have a preference of using third person (she, her) or second (you, your)? i might switch to ‘you’ when i write the batgirls so its not confusing, but if anyone has a preference, let me know!
and thank you all so much for the love on the first part!!!! i’ve never uploaded fanfic before so this is so new to me 😅 but i appreciate it sm! love yall! ❤️
#dc comics#dcu#yandere batboys#yandere batfamily#platonic yandere#yandere batfam#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere tim drake#yandere duke thomas#batfam x reader#batfam#dick grayson#dick grayson x reader#jason todd#jason todd x reader#tim drake#tim drake x reader#duke thomas#duke thomas x reader#batman#yandere batman
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Okay- I adore the Mecha AU.. so now I have to share MY terrible idea, dunno if anyone has said this yet but- you remember that in pacific rim when Raleigh & Mako DRIFT and they both experience each other’s trauma?
What if that happened with Jazz & Prowl?
Like-
One day Prowl starts noticing a difference in Jazz's behavior, noticing how he would suddenly tense up or flinch whenever somebody suddenly started speaking loud or in the morning he’d notice how he was soaked in sweat and shakily making his way to the wash racks. Whenever he’d ask if he was alright he was always met with a smile and a reassuring remark, yet he knew something was off and he wanted to help.
So then (once he’s fully healed) he suggests to Jazz that they should do trust exercises under the guise that since he doesn’t have another Mecha so they should strengthen their own bond for any future battles. Jazz is hesitant, especially since he blames himself for Prowl being in that situation in the first place, but he also wants to spend time with Prowl so he agrees.
Prowl probably would go to a secluded spot in the forest they’re in, somewhere safe where, once Jazz is relaxed enough he can ask him about these strange behaviors he’s recently been exhibiting. Surely nothing bad will happen and surely Jazz will be fine like he usually is…
The training exercises go well, Jazz is feeling fine and they’re both in the zone when suddenly a bad memory spontaneously starts to haunt Jazz and it triggers a PTSD-esque Episode where Jazz freezes up and is suddenly taken back to that horrible time..
The time he was strapped down to a bedbunk, his body writhing in agonizing pain, the constant sting of needles piercing his skin followed by an intense burning sensation that can only be likened to being burned from the inside out, his vision going blurry and his throat raw and bleeding from screaming and crying, his body shaking and shivering as a thick sheen of sweat coats his body.
And right now… because of the DRIFT.. Prowl sees it too, he not only sees it but he’s there, standing over Jazz's restrained body, he hears screams and sounds he never EVER wanted to hear, not from Jazz of all people. His precious partner, he’s looking down at him unable to help or protect him from these strangers, these monsters who are ignoring the ear piercing, spark-wrenching screams of pure agony. Worst of all? He can’t move, he’s frozen in place, forced to stand there helplessly as Jazz is begging for mercy, begging for someone to help him… and. he. can’t. move.
It lasts just for a moment but for both of them it felt like an hour until Jazz screams himself back into reality, freeing both him and Prowl from his nightmare. Prowl drops to a knee, his mind racing as he tries to figure out what the actual hekk he just saw until he feels Jazz pounding his fist against his chest, he can vaguely make out his choked up plea which scares Prowl as he’s never heard Jazz make that noise before. Prowl opens it and barely manages to catch Jazz as the man tumbled out into his own shaky servo in a trembling heap.
Jazz is slightly pale and tears are in his eyes as he struggles to catch his breath, he knows he’s not there anymore but he still feels it.
Prowl rushes back to Ratchets hideout where he the others are and calls for him, fear gripping his tanks as Jazz is still huddled in a fetal position, hyperventilating as he grips his soaked hair. Ratchet immediately recognizes what’s happened and quickly moves to help Jazz calm down before he has a heart attack which he is very close to having with how high his pulse is. It works but the man is so worn out from the stress that he just passes out.
I don’t know but that’s been plaguing my mind since I started reading your AU and I just HAD to share it lol, what do you think? How do you think Prowl would actually react to that? I figured he’d freak out as humans and their fragile bodies are still new territory for him.
Also sorry if it’s all a bit unclear or confusing or like- boarderline rambling I’m not good at storytelling and just stick to RP and making RP plots lol.
OH MAN. OH FUCK. YEP UH HUH YEAH. THIS. oh my god
Knowing Prowl, he would probably rush to learn every bit of information he can access about. You know. How to help someone in that scenario. Because he’s scared that something would went wrong while he has zero knowledge about humans.
But also. I think it would make him realise just how strong despite his small size Jazz actually is.
Jazz might drop something about his brain being over dramatic when it’s not helpful at all. While Prowl is just are you fraggin serious you’re a superhuman
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A WHIMSICAL DEAL ✩ T.N NOTT X READER
in which theodore meets you at a Slytherin party and can’t get you out of his head
pairing: theodore nott x whimsical!reader
word count: 1.6k
warnings: none!
author’s note: double post day today!!! major note here is that the formatting is just a wee bit different because i will be publishing this from my phone rather than my laptop like i usually do. it died and i left the charger at a friend’s house, but i shall be back up and running to my full aesthetics and work by tomorrow morning! other than that, enjoy!
A WHIMSICAL DEAL | THEODORE NOTT X READER
Theodore hasn’t set up a Slytherin party in almost a month because of exams.
That was something that had to change.
He and Mattheo had snuck into Honeydukes through the Hidden Eye passage, The barrel was hard to lift, but easy to sneak into the dorms under a simple Illusion Charm.
The tables were hidden in a small hole in the wall Lorenzo made, his expertise in bartending coming in handy as he set up a minibar for the party. No free drinks would ever pass under his eye, not unless either him or his friends wanted a good lay-in for the night.
For the most part, it was Slytherins at this party. Either that, or houses that were in the know.
Luna Lovegood was the most recent addition to the Slytherin’s main party squad. Ever since her and Blaise began dating, she started to visit the parties more and more to help set up and clean. While Mattheo and Theo weren’t so sure about it at first, the drink combinations she ended up making had gotten at least 20 more party-goers.
One of them being you.
Theodore had noticed you almost as soon as you entered the Common Room. You had a certain aura about you that he just couldn’t not notice, elegance he had never seen in anyone else he ever met in his life.
He had almost dropped his drink right then and there, quickly regaining his composure as he approached you. Enzo was going to have a field day with him. “Can I get you a drink, lovely?”
“A drink?” you giggled softly, hand resting on your hip. You looked so magical within the Slytherin lighting, something almost ethereal or radiant shining off of you. “I believe that you have Whorpflasters whispering in your ears.”
“Whorpflasters?” Theo asked incredulously, voice coming out more nervous than he intended.
“Yes, Whorpflasters!” you repeated, nodding slowly. “They’re very rude. Usually they whisper insecurities in your mind, especially around settings you’re not particularly comfortable with. Are you okay with being at this part?”
“Uh,” he whispered, a small blush creeping on his face. “Yeah, I’m good here.”
“Perhaps it’s exams.” you nodded, patting his head. “I think that you passed them with flying colors, if the Querbs following you are any tell.”
Theo nodded incredulously at that, watching you smile that whimsical smile before you walked off to get a drink. Enzo had winked at him when he saw you walking over, pointing his head to Blaise and Luna standing over his shoulder.
“Theodore, hello!” Luna said to him. She had whimsy about her too, though it just wasn’t the same as yours. Nothing he could think of seemed to compare to you.
“Hey there Luna.” he nodded, swallowing a bit of his drink before looking back at you.
“Have you met Y/N?” Luna asked, waving to Blaise as he walked off to talk to Mattheo and Draco.
“Uh,” he whispered, staring at you before looking back. “Yeah, yeah I met her. She said that I have Whorpflasters in my ear from exams, and Querbs following me around.”
“Well, do you?” Luna asked, her head leaning back and forth as she seemingly examined him.
“I have no idea what Querbs even are.” Theo whispered, hopelessly looking back at you again. You were standing at the end of the bar waiting for your drink, completely out of place yet fitting in all at the same time.
“They’re spirits attracted to intelligence.” Luna said to him simply, taking a small sip of her drink. “Though it seems that you’re also being visited by their cousins, Uerbs. Rather recently too.”
“The difference being?” Theo asked, looking at Luna incredulously.
“They follow people who have fallen in love.” Luna smiled, raising her glass slightly before walking over to where you were standing at the bar.
Theo was screwed.
“Luna said that you wanted to talk to me.”
Theo turned around as soon as he heard your voice, blinking in confusion when he saw you.
The both of you were currently in the library, Theo standing by one of the windows while he waited for Blaise. Blaise, who was supposedly meant to be meeting him for a small party reconstruction.
He quickly realized that this meeting was not about party reconstruction. That didn’t mean he wouldn’t take advantage of it though.
“Oh,” he muttered, clearing his throat. “Yeah, I wanted to ask you about Querbs.”
“Oh, Querbs!” you said, clasping your hands together. “Yes, they’re creatures from intelligence. They’re said to come from Phoenixes, their ashes are full of life and often produce a spark of it. It’s very miniscule and hard to detect, especially with the increasing levels of Phoenix endangerment.”
“That sounds very dangerous.” Theo agreed, subconsciously pulling a chair out for you before sitting down himself. “Why is that?”
“Well, that’s because of their feathers.” you explained to him. “Poachers love the fire they create, oftentimes a small lint from the feather can be used in extremely dangerous bombs. Two single feathers could blow up half of Hogwarts if the bomb is made correctly.”
“That’s,” he paused. “Really powerful.”
“Very much so.” you nodded. “Querbs come from those small sparks that feather lints leave. Of course, there’s also Uerbs. And then there are Xuerbs, but those are rare.”
He had heard about Uerbs, and quite frankly did not want to approach that topic. “What are Xuerbs?”
“They’re like baby Dementors in a sende.” you hummed. “Like Whorpflasters, but worse.”
“That doesn’t sound pleasant,” he said. “Is it?”
“No.” you shook your head. “But, there are much more pleasant creatures out there. Liborati are rather unique, they feel off of herbal plants in a way that is often rather good for them.”
Theo smiled softly as you explained how Liborati helped plants develop magical energy, and eventually went into more details about Querbs. He watched as you pulled out small books and read him passages, clearly very enthusiastic to explain this all to someone.
Theo questioned whether anyone else had ever bothered to listen, though he felt his brain short-circuit the moment your hand met his.
Maybe Uerbs weren’t so bad after all.
Theo and Luna currently were at the linrary together, both of them having been sent on a mission to get snacks for a sick Blaise. Why Theo was invited, he wasn’t sure.
“How are you and Y/N coming along?”
Now he was sure.
“What exactly is meant to be coming along between us?” Theo asked curiously, his hands in his pockets as he walked.
It had only been a week since he met you at the party, but he had already fallen head over heels. It was absolutely impossible to hide from anyone who truly knew him, especially since he couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.
No matter where he went, he couldn’t not think of you. Drinking, partying, sleeping, or doing schoolwork, you were always there on his mind. Sometimes he’d pretend that he was talking to you in order to keep himself sane, repeating your ramble on Uerbs and Querbs and Whorpflasters in his mind for hours at a time.
Even still, he hadn’t particularly asked you anything. Just about things you liked.
“You have more Uerbs developing by the second whenever you hang out with her, I found an infestation of them near your pillow.” Luna said. “Do you dream of her that often?”
“What is it with you two and being able to read people through creatures?” Theo groaned, looking down at the floor as he spoke. “Me and her are, well, I’m working on it. I can’t see things like you do, so you’re going to have to give me a moment.”
“You are quite lost.” Luna said calmly, her hands moving to open the door to Honeydukes. “I felt you’d want to know she has Uerbs following her around too. They’ve grown quite fond of you.”
Theo sighed softly as he stomped his foot a bit impatiently, hoping that nobody else would walk out of the tower but you.
He was currently standing in front of the doors of the Ravenclaw Tower. Or at least, what would be a door. It was a statue of a bird which obnoxiously asked riddles he didn’t have any time for, so he offered to stand and wait for you.
Though that idea seemed to be wearing off completely. That was until you walked out
“Theo?” you asked, your eyes darting up and down him. He had done his hair just a bit nicer than usual. He was wearing a suit, albeit rather tame, with a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand. Along with all of that, he somehow seemed to find a limited edition of the book you had been wanting to read for ages, a signature from the author directly on the cover.
“I want to take you out on a date.” he whispered, holding the objects out to you. There was a large blush covering his face, eyes darting to the floor. “Will you, maybe, go on a date with me?”’
“Theo, I,” you whispered, looking at him incredulously before giggling softly. “Have you noticed my Uerbs too then?”
“I,” he whispered before nodding as he remembered what Luna said. “Yeah, I did.”
“I would love to go out with you.” you smiled, that whimsical smile that he couldn’t seem to get enough of. “Where did you want to go?”
“I made a dinner reservation, about two hours from now.” he whispered, smiling genuinely once you said yes. You had said yes. You had said yes.”
“Let me get ready then. Give me just twenty minutes or so.” you smiled, before turning back around to get ready. Theo chuckled at the sounds of your small yet excited squeals.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
guys. i don’t have. my fancy smancy dividers.
for some reason my phone hates downloading transparent pngs from tumblr and aleays adds a white background, which is absolutely not tolerable at ALL, and managing these lines were also really hard as well for some reason? the images always summon at the bottom so you have to drag them, which wasn’t easy with the size.
but we pulled through guys. GUYS WE DID IT YAYAYAYAYYYY
AS ALWAYS, please like, comment, and reblog! i hope you lovelies had a fantastic day, and i shall write to you some other time. bye guys!
#fanfiction#harry potter fanfiction#fanfic#fluff#theodore nott#lorenzo berkshire#blaise zabini#luna lovegood#slytherin boys#theodore nott x you#theodore nott x reader#theo nott x reader#theo nott#extra fluff#whimsical reader#whimsical#kinda?
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University complaining, feat Ratchet
A/N: I’ve got a lot of school stuff going on right now and for the next two weeks, but I wanted to post something, so you can read about the reader complaining to Ratchet about how uni sucks
“Hey Ratch?” you called from the couch.
“What is it?” he asked, turning to look at you, instead of his computer screen.
“Do you want to write my last two essays for me? I’ve done so many assignments in the last month that I feel like if I write one more word, I’m gonna explode” you groaned.
“I would like to help you, but I’m not really knowledgeable about your area of study. Besides, you’re the one who’s supposed to be learning the things you need in order to write those essays” Ratchet stated.
“I know, I know, but you can’t fault me for trying. The end of the semester is always super busy and I’m getting annoyed with the amount of exams and assignments” you sighed tiredly.
“You need to remember to rest too. You should take a break”
“I can’t, I have an exam tomorrow, and I need to finish this book for it” you said, raising your tablet you had the ebook on.
“You can take a half an hour break, it’s the late afternoon and you’ve been reading since you got here in the morning. You won’t retain information as well when you’re getting tired"
"I’m not even that tired, I’m more annoyed, and hungry, and my eyes kind of hurt…” you trailed off. “I see your point”
“Good, then you’re going to take a break?” Ratchet inquired.
“On one condition. You’re going to take a break too, you’ve been working since before I even came here, so you definitely need one” you noted.
Ratchet knew you had a hard time taking breaks, and you wanted to just push through it when you had to do something. So he always conceded when you made him take a break too, since that got you to take one too. You also sometimes seemed to forget that you needed to eat and drink. Or that you shouldn’t stare at screens for so long continuously.
“Fine” he rolled his optics.
“Good, now that we’re in agreement, can you take me to get some food? I’m starving”
“Of course” Ratchet smiled.
“Ah, that smile’s gonna keep me going for the rest of the day” you smirked. “And the food is gonna help with that too”
Ratchet rolled his optics with a scoff, but you could see his smile widening. The old bot wasn’t nearly as grumpy as you had thought when you’d first met him. It had been a couple of years since you and the autobots first crossed paths, but it felt like that time had gone by in the blink of an eye. You were finishing your second full year of university, and the decepticon’s activity had been on the quieter side for a few weeks now. You hoped that it would continue that way, because you would still rather be writing essays than trying to dodge decepticons. Getting to spend time with Ratchet was a bonus for hanging around the base. It was also easier for you to get your assignments done, when you had company. You could both just work on your own stuff, while still being together. It was nice. You just hoped the peaceful quiet would continue.
#transformers#tfp#transformers prime#autobots#ratchet#tfp scenarios#reader insert#tfp x reader#transformers x reader#comfort
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My BFF is a Vampire
18+
BLOODY EYES 🩸
Characters: ot7 x reader
Warnings: This story contains nsfw content (descriptive blood, gore, etc.) as well as sexual content. Mentions may include violence, self harm, attempt to suicide, consumption of alcohol and blood, male and male sexual content, explicit sexual interactions, sharp objects, knife play, blood play, death, description of injuries, themes of major horror/psychological horror and also explores obsessive behaviors and codependency. Many characters are morally gray. The story will contain aspects of the show Vampire Diaries and the BTS Wings era.
>If you are sensitive to any of these themes please do not proceed with the story.<
Genre: supernatural, fantasy, vampire, reversed harem, best friends to lovers.
🩸My Master List🩸
𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 • 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 >
Chapter One🩸
The night felt cooler then usual. That for Spring Villa was uncanny but nothing about this town was near close to normal, I felt breathless. Running through the woods with nothing but the full moon above me to light up the path between the tall trees, the cold air burned inside my lungs.
I couldn’t stop even if I wanted too, my feet seems to move on their own. I should hide, I knew that. His presence became more obvious as the sound of his footsteps behind me became louder and clearer.
Every breath I took.
Closer.
Every step away.
Closer.
Until I couldn’t breath anymore, falling miserable on the cold wet path of the night. I could hear him laughing behind me, his deep breathy chuckled bitterly echoed around me.
I needed to get up.
But I couldn’t. My body wasn’t mine, I couldn’t move even if I begged myself to.
Vision getting blurred the more I tried to breath but no air was coming to my lungs, until the horrified feeling of a cold hand closed around my neck turned me around.
I couldn’t see his face even when he was so close to me, all I could see was his red eyes staring at me as he took my last breath.
The loud beeping noise of my alarm woke me up abruptly, I was breathless completely covered in cold sweat once again. I looked over the small vintage silver clock over my nightstand, glad it was still early in the morning and I had more then enough time to get ready to work at the Spring Grill.
A sight left my lips once I was finally able to catch my breath, once again I had the same dream. By this time I should’ve become used to them, It has been years since I started having weird nightmares, every damn night. It became unbearable and at some point I had to go to the hospital once after waking up screaming, I don’t remember anything from that night just that the nightmares continued since then. I used to take pills to help me sleep and at first they helped but as time passed they simply stopped working and I was too tired to ask for more, because of my reputation the doctors could’ve locked me at the mental facility and feeling helpless I just stopped taking them, I gave up on trying to stop the nightmares. They won’t go away no matter what I do. What’s the point fighting?
The day had just started and I felt restless.
Tired from knowing exactly what would happen after I opened the door of my room and went downstairs, knowing exactly how my day is going to start and how is going to end. Every day is the same for me. I wished I could say something about it but there is nothing especial about my life in this town.
I was known for being the weird girl, psycho girl down the street with an alcoholic mother who every neighbor hates now.
I used to be someone just like everyone, I had dreams like every other girl in high school did and I wanted more from life than anyone else did. I was alive.
For years I tried so hard not to let my parents actions get the best of me but now I feel like I can’t bearly breathe, my mother drank all her emotions away with alcohol till the bottles are empty just like herself.
I’m no better then her. Hiding away my scars with a jacket so no one knows it. Not that they would care anyway.
Once I’m pleased with my appearance after getting ready, making sure to hide the dark circles under my eyes with make up. I hold on tight to the door before opening in a breath, immediately holding my breath as I walk down the corridor to the stairs. A sight of relief washes over me as I notices she’s still asleep in the couch as I walk over the door as quietly as possible.
Mom was passed out again and thankfully on the right time for me to leave unnoticed by her.
Another sight of relief leaves my lips as I could finally breath in the cold air of Spring Villa, it was not always that I could leave home without any trouble caused by my mother. I was always grateful when I could.
And for just this once I could actually smile. Even though I knew everything would crash down when I get home later at night. For now I let myself breath for once.
Making my way through the empty streets till I get to the Grill, it won’t be a long walk anyway. Spring Villa was not known for being a big city, you could walk pretty much all around here and you could never be late. Every place here was placed right next to it, especially the neighborhood that’s why you can’t keep secrets in his town. People are so noisy here.
The center of the city was much more busy today, more tourist must have come since Halloween is in two months now. The perfect time to spread the old reports about the city’s history of a serial killer. People are so empty it makes me sad for them, but in all honesty sadness is all you can find in this city.
Once I finally get to my destination I open the wooden doors to the Spring Grill immediately being embraced by its warm interior, making my way to the staff room quickly changing into the Grill apron marking my shift as I leave the staff room. Today I’ll be serving tables in the morning and later I’ll serve at the bar.
No one minds my presence here so I just embrace my own thoughts and begin my work.
For the entire day I’ve been working, I wished it lasted longer. Contradicting I know. Even though I was tired like hell and my feet hurt just as bad; Even though I could already feel sweat running down the back of my neck and my arms felt like jelly from holding heavy trays with food and drinks for hours, the thought of heaving to go back home was never a pleasant one for me.
My shift was almost done and I moved as slow as possible with no desire to go home I was still behind the bar in case any costumers come for a few drinks, it was night already yet the Grill was just as agitated as it was in the afternoon. People didn’t care for their safety anymore, they would stay up all night drinking at Spring Villa even though our little city was known for a serial killer case, all they wanted was something to gossip about anyway and here, it was the serial killer case still unsolved after years.
Quickly to my distraction a costumer just made his way to the bar, he sat on the barstool asking for a bottle of beer. I made my way to get it for him filling a cup with ice and putting in front of him as well as the opened bottle, he thanked me without looking my way throwing a few dollar bill over the bar to pay.
I simply took it. I wasn’t used to kindness in this place, no one here seemed to know what it meant anyway.
The sound of the ring above the door signs for more costumers and I immediately looked up to see who it might be, noticing the familiar faces as he also noticed me from further away.
My best friend.
He was the only one who knew who I was and still chose me to be his friend, Jungkook wasn’t like the people from Spring Villa. He had an energy around him that even from afar you could tell he was special. He wasn’t even from here. He shined wherever he was and always became the life of the party, his smiled was a punch in the stomach of everyone one from this city, a face that was a constant reminder of how different and full of life he was. The truth was no one knows we’re he comes from or any of his friends, not even me. I never bother to ask him too. I always assumed he could tell me whenever he felt ready for it and apart from that, there was nothing we didn’t know about each other.
I only knew a few of his guy friends, with Jungkook there were seven of them and they all lived together with the oldest of the group in his house. I never asked him what his friends did for a living or what they’d were here for as it wasn’t Jungkooks place to say anyway and we both hated gossip. I knew he wasn’t like the other people who only came here for the serial killer case and that was enough for me to not ask questions. I was closer with him and his friend Jimin, who’d usually hang around with us the most, the others were much busier and didn’t stick around us much so I haven’t meet them yet and bearly knew them.
Seeing him together with his friend Jimin and the white haired Hoseok was something for the eyes to see, from any distance you could tell they were not from this small city.
From the way they all dressed so sophisticated and the way they walk, talk, even breath to every detail on them you could tell they where perfect. No one here was at their level, people tended to do everything to keep it to themselves so it doesn’t call for unnecessary attention to themselves. I still remember when they first came here, everybody talked about them for three months and so many rumors began to rise about them. The boys kept things to themselves and only talked to a few people from town, so gossip about them were all over the town as soon as they stepped foot in here. It wasn’t like any other tourist who came to town, they came to stay and that made the rumors about them grow even more especially since they all looked anything from normal.
Hoseok was well know because of his white hair and the signature sunglasses he wore all the time, some said he was blind and some said he had devil eyes. People said all sorts of things about them for their looks and I honestly thought the people in this town were just being mean at this point, these people never seemed to have something to do and were always on someone else’s business. The few things I heard about Jimin was; how he was always out with a red haired man at night, always at the company of a woman or a men and by far he was the most popular with people.
Jungkook was the rumored bad boy, always up to something bad and some people spreed that he was in a gang, that he was a criminal and today we just laugh at that. I couldn’t even begin to imagine him as such rumors portrayed him.
I didn’t care much about it, after a few weeks talking with Jungkook he told me the oldest of his friends Jin was the son of one of the founders of Spring Villa and that’s way they came here, they were staying at his late fathers house the mansion on the other side of the city.
I was surprised no one know anything about the founders of Spring Villa - since gossip was their priority around. But people only talked about what they wanted and what they wanted to hear, even when it wasn’t true.
I watched as Jungkook parted ways with his friends who took one of the tables on a corner and make his way to the bar were I was, a smirk playing around his lips as he did so. He looked incredibly handsome tonight, like usual. He wore a black outfit, never a fan of colors as he would always tell me, a leather jacket over the long sleeve shirt and loosen jeans ripped on the knees.
I replied with a smile of my own, watching as he sat on the bar stool in front of me.
“when is your shift ending tonight?” he asked, as soon as he took the bar stool in front of me. A playful look glimmered in his eyes, by his tone I knew he would ask me to join later.
“in an hour, why?” I said, cleaning over the bar in front of us to place a glass with ice for him, turning around to get him his usual whiskey.
“perfect, we’ll have enough time to get a few drinks before going to the bonfire that’s happening by the lake” at his words I turned around quickly looking at him dumbfounded.
“we? who said I was going?” I teased.
“I did” he said as if it was nothing, pushing his glass towards me to fill it, scoffing playfully I did so.
He looked up at me with biggest puppy eyes ever, leaning his head slightly to the side. I chuckled knowingly.
“oh no, I know this look…” I tell him as I filling another glass of whiskey for him. “…and it won’t work. Jungkook you know I hate parties.”
“Yeah but… this is different” he says, almond eyes shining through his long lashes as he stared at me with a sly smile.
“really how?”
“I’ll be there” he said drink all of the liquid in his hand in one gulp. “my friends too, so come please?”
I looked over the table his friends were sat at, they were looking over us too. No wonder, Jungkook must’ve told everyone one he knew I was going already. Not that many people would care if I showed up or not, he was the only one who does care.
If this was the only way to not go home tonight, might as well just grab the chance. For once I could walk out of my sad blue and gray routine.
“ok I’ll go with you” I finally tell him, filling his glass one more time.
“I knew you would” his eyes seemed to light up above his smirk in that moment, making my heart skip a beat. It was a different kind of look, one I have never seen before.
I would be the biggest lier if I ever say I didn’t had a crush on him, Jungkook was one of the most handsome men on Spring Villa ever since he step foot here. All woman and men lined up in front of him for a chance to be with him, he was definitely a catch.
Anyone could tell he was hot just by looking, he had his own special charm to make people fall in love with him instantly. Not only did he had a beautiful body that you could definitely tell was all toned even under all the dark loosen clothes he wore but, he had his way with everybody and all it took was one look and a charming smile from him and you would fall on his knees, he didn’t go by anyone unnoticed. People here either loved him or hated him, no in between. I knew from the moment I first saw him that nothing could ever happen between us, that’s why we have such strong friendship.
I couldn’t help but let my eyes wonder from every now and then, every time I would notice him looking away I let myself get a glimpse of his beautiful body and his beautiful face.
But he was much more then that to me, he was my best friend. One of the only ones I had and I wouldn’t let anything mess that up, even my own feelings. I would push anything aside to keep him by my side, even if is my heart.
He deserves more. More then I could ever be.
“oh right…” he suddenly said “you like girls right?”
“what!?” I exclaimed, flushed at his sudden question.
“what, what?” he lifted his eyebrows up surprised “you never said anything about boyfriends and I never saw you with a guy, I’m starting to wonder….”
“no…” i like you, you idiot. Is what I want to say, but I can’t and I shouldn’t. Never. “Don’t just assume that kind of thing…”
“well then what do you like, I need to know so I can set you up with someone for the bonfire” he said.
“I like boys, and you don’t need to set me up with anyone.”
“ok.”
“besides is not like anyone is interested in me or what so ever” I began to angrily clean the bar top.
“ok, sorry for pushing kitty” he said, stoping me from cleaning with his hand over mine.
I immediately looked up at him, heart beat skipping a beat as I gulped down. His eyes scanned my face, i tried my best not to show how the nickname affected me focusing on the light in his eyes as they seemed to shine different tonight almost making them look brighter like whiskey mixed with wine. I was completely lost in him again, too much to notice his cold hand over mine as his smile brought my attention to his lips. Wet and pink.
“you’ll take our table for the rest of your shift right?” he asked softly.
“of course, who else can put up with you guys?” I tell him.
He only chuckled nodding towards me, he got up from his seat and gave me one last smile before turning around to go back to the table with his friends. I wished i could tell that smile went past me and didn’t effect me as much as he always did, he was my only friend why did such feelings had to rise from my chest every time i was with him?
Once again i shut that door in my heart to stop them from rising again.
For some reason the past hour felt like an eternity, i carried on serving Jungkooks table for the rest of my shift as they order as much they could drink for the time being before it was time to go to the bonfire, Jungkook was with two of his friends tonight and it always amazed me how much they drink and don’t even looked halfway drunk. I knew they were seven although it has difficult to see all of them together at the same time, i only knew their names through Jungkook and a few things about them as he would tell me sometimes. How they all meet one by one as the years passed through trips around the world.
He mentioned how he first meet Hoseok when he went to a contemporary dance concert at a music festival and at the same week he meet Taehyung who were there to play violin at the festival, he said they all clicked with each other immediately and a few months later they run into Jimin in a party as well as Yoongi as they already knew each other. It seemed Yoongi already knew Jin the oldest and Jin knew Namjoon from birth as they grew up together away from Spring Villa.
I haven’t meet the older friends yet, they all seemed to be occupied with something as Jungkook would always tell me. He admire his friends very much from how he always speaks so passionately of them to me from time to time. So far i only knew Jimin since he and Jungkook were always together as well as Hoseok who sometimes tags along with the two, although they were very closed to each other i never saw them with the other three.
One look at the clock and a sight of relief left my lips as i notice my shift was about to end, making my way towards the staff room to change and hit the end of my shift, I quickly take my things from my locker before walking out of the staff room. I wished i knew he would invite me out for the bonfire, I would have put a bit more of an effort into how i looked before going out.
Whilst making my way towards their table I tried to fix my hair the best I could, untying the messy bun i did earlier to work and letting my hair fall messily down my back. I watched as the three of them seemed to be heaving a fun conversation before Jungkook turned towards my direction a smirk on his lips as he looked me up and down rising his eyebrows playfully.
“are you guys ready to go?” i said, once i finally stood in front of them catching their stares.
“yes boss” said Jimin, while getting up from his seat being fallowed by the two others.
“are we walking there?” i asked Jungkook taking his side while we made or way out of the Grill.
“yeah, is not that far from here” he took a cigarette from his pocket lightening it up while we walked down the cold streets of Sping Villa.
The smoke filling the humid air around us, it hadn’t rain in a few days here which was honestly a miracle. That was unusual in a city that rained more than anything, at times like this i really wondered if the reason why the serial killer just wasn’t caugh because the rain cleaned his traces.
How lucky and convenient for someone to attack this small town, I couldn’t help but think about it from time to time. Even though i would always brush this thoughts away from my mind now letting Jungkook and his friends voice fill my head as we make our way to the bonfire on the west side of town. Although it was away from the town it didn’t took too long for us to get there, a bonfire in Spring Villa was rare due to the heavy rains that were present every day here. People must been excited about it, something i was unfamiliar with. All senses of joy for me were short lived, I didn’t have a choice but to give up on them. Not because i wanted but, because they were stolen from me each time.
I looked up at the sky watching as the full moon shined above me, the sky never looked so clear before. Full of stars to replace the clouds and cover us and more light.
It felt warmer to be under the moon for once, I couldn’t remember the last time i saw her.
“you okay?” Jimin whispered over my ear, one arm closing around my neck as he showed me a smile.
“yeah” i replied his smile.
Out of all of them - or at least, the ones i knew - Jimin was the most touchy person, Jungkook could get clingy sometimes but usually only when he needed something in return. Even though he was a men after all, i never once felt uncomfortable close to him. He always had a soft energy around him that just brings you into him each time, it took some time before we got close enough to be like this though with each other. The first time we meet he couldn’t even look at me without shying away, it was cute.
I circle my arm around his waist and we make our way together.
“oh… i see why don’t have to set you up with anyone…” Jungkook said, playfully beside me eyeing us together.
“hey, his my friend too” i glare at him playfully.
“see? she’s mine too” Jimin taunts beside me, pulling me from the shoulders as he closed around me a deep chuckle filling the air from his chest.
I chuckled with him too distracted by his smile and hands around me to notice we were the only ones laughing, too absorbed by his eyes over mine to look anywhere else.
Everything just felt like slow motion whenever i was with them, i could bearly see through it all. And i loved every little second of it - anything to stay out of home.
I didn’t liked parties much, I never understood what was so special about them. Maybe if you have friends it is more enjoyable to be partying, since for a long time people didn’t wanted to be close to me I just shut myself down from everything I could.
Until Jungkook showed up I had no one by my side, now with him and his friends I can actually enjoy a bit of fun.
Just like I predicted it didn’t took us much longer to arrive at the bonfire, I watched around us all the young people laugh over the loud music with red cups in hands. Some danced, some just sat around the big bonfire drinking and just talking while some were courageous enough to be swimming at the lake.
Jungkook guided us to a big fallen tree in a corner closer to the lake to sit there, him and Jimin left quickly to get us some drinks and Jungkook came without Jimin saying his getting something stronger.
I took one beer from him as Hoseok did the same, sitting between the too boys.
“oh god I hate this…” immediately regretted taking a sip of the cheap drink.
“what? The party?” Hoseok asked beside me.
“no… this disgusting liquid” I turned to the white haired boy putting the bottle down.
“oh, not everyone does” he chuckled. “what do you like drinking?”
“sweet!” Jimins loud voice interrupted before I could answer.
He sat in front of us all giggly with which I assumed was a stolen bottle of strawberry Smirnoff.
“she likes the strong and sweet drinks”Jimin answered for me.
“you’re right, thanks Jimin.”
He gives me a wink fallowed by a small nod opening the bottle for me to have a sip, we all drank a few times together and I remember mentioning that I hated beer and preferred sweeter drinks and wine, I didn’t know he would remember as we usually were completely nocked out drunk.
“want some?” I offer to Hoseok.
“oh yes…” he took the bottle from my hand, cold fingers brushing over mine.
A chill went down my body for a second and a hugged myself, watching as he drank a good amount lips slightly wet from the drink.
He handed me back the bottle, the fire shining on the dark glasses on his face.
“isn’t it too dark for you?” i playful ask.
“a little…” he smiled, taking it off.
I tried to hide my surprise when I saw his eyes for the first time, the fire reflected in them wildly almost like a reflection on a mirror. His eyes were of a blue so clear to a white shade I could swear o saw galaxies in them, I can’t understand why he would want to hide them he looked even more beautiful without the glasses.
I don’t question him anymore deciding to enjoy the time with them by drinking some more, I let time completely go forgotten for now watching the fire burn in front of me.
At some point i knew i was completely drunk already, the bottle in my hand wasn’t the same from before and my body felt lighter. Everything that was coming out of Jimins mouth seemed to be the most funny joke I’ve ever heard, he kept me entertained for the most time taken me to dance a few times even.
But I couldn’t keep up with his energetic self, body tired from working a whole shift at the Grill.
Then again he would pull me out to dance again this time taking the white haired boy with us, the three of us drunk as hell dancing together with the people around the bonfire.
The hot heat warmed my body and for once I felt the happiest for once, nothing matter in the world anymore and all my problems had evaporated completely from my mind.
When Hoseoks cold hands took mine into his to dance bringing my body closer to his, I let him. Giggling like an idiot with my cheeks hotter then the fire burning beside us, when he brushed my hair back exposing my skin I simply let him.
I could feel his drunken giggles over my face as he spin me around, hands holding my waist but it wasn’t his anymore. Looking up I’m meet with Jimins sweet eyes and smile.
Every cell in my body was being pulled towards him, as if I was in a dream a state I could no longer control my body and only watch what was happening.
Watching as my body leaned forward into his, the only moment I felt like my body belonged to me when I felt the shivers running down my skin as he brushed the hair away from my shoulder, eyes staring down at my lips the more he leaned into me.
Just then before he could move another centimeter closer, Jimin was pulled away from me as well as the dreamy state I was in.
All together I felt my senses come back, the sound of loud music and people’s talking around us, the smell of fire burning. Jungkook stood in front of me anger clearly reflected on his features as he stared silently at Jimin who looked at him with the same intensity.
I watched the two of them confused, feeling a gentle pull at my arm from behind me I turned quickly looking up and Hoseok.
He muttered a “let’s go” and I fallowed him wherever he was going, turning back a few times to check on the two males we just left.
We stood closer to a truck filled with all sorts of drinks, Hoseok grabbed a few water bottles from it and we stood close to a big old tree. I could see all the bonfire from here as well as Jungkook and Jimin leaving together into the dark entrance of trees.
After drink half of the water I looked up at Hoseok who still looked where the two boys just went.
“what happened?” I asked him, feeling completely lost. “was it something I did?”
“no y/n…” he turned to me, clearly trying his best to hide what he truly felt in that moment “you didn’t do anything it’s just… they have something’s going on right now, it’s a bit complicated.”
“oh… oh” the realization hits me like a brick.
From the time I’ve been friends with Jungkook I knew that both, men and woman were always there for him trying to get with him. I just never saw him with someone before and now everything made sense to me, he had something with Jimin.
That thought made things more complex to me, I just couldn’t understand why he never mentioned to me before. We were friends.
After some time had passed I realized that maybe that was because of me, Jungkook must’ve seen all of that and now they are fighting.
I couldn’t bear that, I never knew that could happen and before I even know I was already making my way into the dark trees without Hoseok noticing.
If they fight because of me I have to clear things out, beyond that I felt terribly bad for Jungkook.
Walking into this tress at night made me feel uncomfortable, it was a clear reminder of my nightmares and I felt the fear growing inside of my chest the deeper I went through that darkness.
I could still hear the loud music and talking of people from here but as I carry on walking I heard loud hustles from the other side, I didn’t felt the need to rush there until I heard Jungkooks voice.
My feet moved on it’s on I was rushing through the bushes, fallowing his voice as I felt some bushes hit me all over until I stomp into the unexpected scene.
My breath got stuck in my throat but everything looked so clear that my whole body went cold.
Jungkook was pressed on the tree as someone held him by the neck, a painful expression reflected on his features as the men who held him there was glued to his neck.
It wasn’t until said men leaned back from him and I realized it was Jimin, exposing all the blood on his face it finally came to me what was happening. Jungkook fell to the ground hand over his neck, a painful groan leaving his lips .
All I could do was watch, feeling my body cold as ice completely frozen at the spot as jimins face covered in blood turned towards me. A gasp leaving my lips as his eyes burned over mine, red eyes like crimson blood.
I immediately turned to leave finally finding the will to move my frozen body but, all to my surprise he was right there in front of me with a bloody smirk on his lips.
No.
My vision began to blur into darkness, my own body completely giving up on standing and I felt weak in my senses.
No.
All I could see was his red eyes before I fall into the darkness of my mind.
I could feel my lungs burning as i breathed in and out the cold air, i was running between the trees again the darkness of my surroundings where swallowing me the deeper i ran into it.
Every cell in my body burned getting more restless as I desperately rushed through the woods, completely exhausted and out of breath my vision blurred and i felt my body give up on me falling miserably into the wet grass.
Turning around breathless a shadow presence like the dark night sky made his way slowly towards my body on the ground, i wanted to get up, run again my body wouldn’t listen to me.
I felt my body completely froze at the sight the closer he got to me, the moon light slowly illuminated more of his presence each step he took.
The more clear i saw him the more anxious i felt, just then as he stood completely above me i realized i knew who he was. I could no longer breathe as his red crimson eyes stared into mine with complete darkness, for the first time in years i see the face of my nightmares.
He falls to his knees in front of me, blood dripping from his mouth as a smile i never saw on him grows on his lips. I felt at loss at the sight of Jungkook, still not believing in it but there he was ready to take me as one of his victims.
I woke up in a rush cold sweat dripping from my forehead, my chest was hurting instantly feeling as if I had rubbed a marathon my body ache in pain and my head was foggy as if I was under water for a moment until I wasn’t and high pitched sound echoed through my head.
Once it faded away I was able to breath normally, looking around to see I was in my room. I couldn’t make out how i felt in that moment, everything still felt like a dream.
But that couldn’t be.
The memories of last night were a blur in my head, I couldn’t place my thoughts together weakly trying and the more i did the more my head hurt tears forming in my eyes i felt so helpless. Not being able to control my own my mind anymore no matter how much i tried to, all of a sudden everything became to much to understand then with the sound of rain hitting my window i could finally feel my mind emptying and i was back to myself, as if i was high on a dream I remembered one by one of last night events.
I was at the bonfire with Jungkook and his friends when he and Jimin went in the woods, how unease I felt at the knew informations about his relation with him in that moment deciding to fallow them in the woods only to be meet with the sight of Jungkook body falling on the ground with blood covering his neck as a Jimin stood there in a way I never could imagine.
The red eyes I could swear I’ve seen it before, the same one in my nightmares.
The same ones i dreamed were Jungkook, and the blood dancing on their lips.
All i could think was how much had i lost my mind to project such nightmare on Jungkook and Jimin, him out of every person i knew. The thought made me sick and i wish i could understand why that was happening to me, worried i might have actually gone insane.
By the moment I had collected my thoughts my head was spinning and I quickly got up, rushing to the bathroom to take my meds and throw some water on my face.
Everything that happened last night was a complete mess, what was supposed to be a fun night between friends was flipped insanely into another nightmare of mine.
All i could think now was Jungkook, what could have happen after i blank out last night. I stil couldn’t understand how i got back home, what could have happen to my friend and who did that to him.
My hands were shaking as I searched for my phone it was still so early in the morning, the sun has bearly appear although you couldn’t really tell as the dark gray skies covered Spring Villa in rain, after finding it I quickly called Jungkook to make sue he was okay but every time it went straight to voicemail.
Growing worried each time i spear no more time to leave my room running down the stairs without a single thou in my mind as I exit the house.
Not him.
I kept repeating that in my head.
I felt desperate, not even sure what I should do in that moment I just hoped in my bike and made my way to the only place i knew someone would be able to tell me what in the hell happened to Jungkook, his oldest friend mansion on the west of Spring Villa.
I have no idea where he could be right now and if someone knew what happened that night it has to be Hoseok and I hoped I could find them at their house, i didnt know who else to turn to right now and it only made my feel more helpless. My friend could be in danger and all i could do was find someone else to do something about it.
Tears were forming under my eyes the cold weather as usual was enough to make me shake under it, rushing through the empty streets a light rain began falling as if on quote Spring Villa was back to its grey days.
I passed a few police cars and an ambulance closer to were the bonfire happened last night, I couldn’t help the immediate stop watching as they closed half the road with yellow tape. Just then a the sky roared in anger, a light thunder shined above us as if to say something.
A few people who watched closely to were I had stopped were gossiping about what I thought would never happen again in this shitty town, but under all of their usual comments and half ass words of comfort to the people around there was one that felt like a punch in my stomach blurring anything else they were saying was the phrase;
“They found a body of a young man on the woods”
With a racing heart I rushed past them, repeating in my mind prayers - please not him.
After a long while I spotted the old mansion on the west hill, my legs were hurting from biking around so fast. My body cold from the rain, I couldn’t think about anything else besides him. The possibility that someone so close to me turned out to be the monster in my dreams.
It never one occurred to me to go their house before, it was never something I felt comfortable with and Jungkook never invited me over. I never questioned it I wasn’t the type to push someone about their lives, we build our friendship over our trust with each other . I knew who he was and he knew about me, we had that and it was enough.
But now after last night I felt desperate, he hasn’t returned my calls and even though it was so early I had to make sure he was fine. Especially when the serial killer was back.
I quickly made my way towards the entrance nocking on the heavy wooden door, I waited before moving once again impatiently I felt my self grow even more worried.
Before I could nock a third time the door was open revealing a tall men with red hair and amber eyes, I stood there staring into his eyes fist still mid air In front of me embarrassing.
“yes?” he blurted, voice deep almost like a growl as he looked me up and down no expression on his face.
It didn’t go unnoticed by me how he clearly was inspecting my presence there with judging eyes, then I realized he was still in his sleeping clothes feeling my embarrassment grow even more for waking him up so early with my sudden presence but i had a reason for coming here and despite everything else I held up the courage to speak up.
“is Jungkook here?” i questioned, trying my best not to let any of my insecurities shine through. Still feeling the awkwardness
“who’s asking?” he then asked, a bored look on his features. The awkwardness was stone cold.
I almost groaned out at his words, something bad must’ve happened to Jungkook and he was playing around as if everything was completely fine. My body was begging to grow hot with anger.
“I’m y/n, his friend…” i rushed the words, feeling more impatient at his calmness. “is he here? Is he okay?”
Before he could say anything the door opened fully and to my relief it was Hoseok, just like the men with red hair he too was still in his sleeping clothes confused as he walked to me.
“y/n? what are you doing here so early?” he mumble, voice deeper then usual and a bit hoarse.
“I’m sorry it’s just…. about last night when I saw Jungkook… he-“ I couldn’t even mutter the words without feeling a hole swallow me from my chest.
“hey it’s okay, Tae go back I’ll take care of her” he spoke to the red haired man, making his way closer to me holding my shoulders carefully.
The red haired men looked at me before giving Hoseok a nod turning on his heels to go back inside, the door was shut closed leaving me out alone with Hoseok who seemed a bit more worried this time.
“Hoseok what in the world happened last night?”
“I’ll tell you come here” he pulled me towards the side but i stood there growing anxious, I can’t wait any longer for an explanation. He looked into my eyes as if realizing exactly what i meant. “you blackout in the woods last night.”
“yeah I know that but Jungkook…” I interrupt, nothing about me was important to me.
“he took you home” he blurted
“he did? But…”
“listen y/n, we were having fun last night then you black out in the woods and Jungkook was searching for you everywhere” he carry on explaining, and I couldn’t believe it or i just didnt know what to believe in anymore. “when we found you he immediately brought you back home.”
“but I saw…”
“what?”
Was it all in my head then?
He had no reason to lie to me about such thing, still it didnt felt right what he was saying. I knew what I saw last ight, despite all the alcohol and my meds i knew i saw Jungkook being attacked by something or someone.
But if Jungkook was fine as Hoseok said then, all of this was just another illusion. What I saw last night wasn’t real. I was falling into that miserable trap in my head, I couldn’t help but feel completely lost as darkness fell upon my back.
I’ve been acting out of my mind this whole time without a care in the world, trespassing boundaries by coming here like a crazy woman asking for Jungkook to some of his friends when he was safe and sound.
“I’m so sorry Hoseok I just…. I heard about a body found in the woods” I tell him “he didn’t answer my calls so I was worried something happened to him.”
I decided to tell him what made me worried enough to come all the way here, leaving out the fact that i was mentally unstable and had a nightmare with his friend so real i thought he was dead.
He gave me an apologetic smile.
“is okay… you were just worried about him” he replied.
I watched as he looked at me with those eyes, the same ones everyone else did when they got a glimpse into my turbulent mind. I hated that more then anything and the fact he was now staring into my eyes with the same look mad me realize he might as well just be like everybody else, and I felt a crack in my heart.
“can you tell him to call me then, please I need to talk to him” I mumbled, looking down unable to meet his eyes.
“of course y/n…” he gave me a small hug “you should rest now is still pretty early in the morning, I’ll make sure he calls you as soon as I see him.”
“yes, im sorry Hoseok for showing up like this…” looking everywhere but his face, a need to run awa creeping into my mind.
“is okay, I understand where you’re coming from y/n” he answered softly.
I didnt spear another look at his direction as i turned on my heels to leave. That was my walk of shame back home and I didn’t know if i would ever be able to look into his face again without feeling completely embarrassed. I almost let it slip my worst nightmare, most people from Spring Villa already knew about my past and i didnt wanted to more people to find out about it. It burned almost, how much that part of me contributed to my own down fall but there was nothing i could do about it. I had tried everything I could and nothing ever seems to work. My mind has been playing games over me for so long, I should’ve known it was all in my head before packing and going to their home.
I was worried for what I saw and all of it wasn’t even real, just a coincidence.
I sighted looking at my own self in front of my small bathroom mirror, tired eyes and messy hair all over the place. I took a good look at my self feeling more pathetic the more i looked, i was tired. Physically and mentally.
It honestly took me so long to leave the bathroom, to get out of my head. This illusions ive been heaving ever since my brother left the world, this nightmares i thought were gone but now were back stronger then ever took everything i had.
I sat down in bed, the small container with meds in my hand. The rain continued to pour down outside, the darkness slowly rising more above in the skies just like my heart it was almost unbearable to tolerate all of this conscious, taking the meds in one gulp i waited for the effects to start and so on slowly my body began to drift into the deep sleep.
For once, let me sleep without a single dream in mind. No more nightmares.
But the pills stopped working a long time ago.
I walked a dark path of a long corridor, my stpes were muffled by a red carpet that fallowed the floors of the corridor.
I wasnt tired.
I wasnt running.
No one was coming to get me, my heart beat calmly on my chest and nothing happened.
I could see some lighter further ahead on the left and fallowed till im inside a big room, the enormous fireplace illuminated the room and from the fire i could make out two couches on each side and a small tea table between them.
My attention was focused on a painting above the fireplace which i could tell was the “The fall of rabel angels” from Pieter Bruegel the Elder.
The sudden deep chuckle behind me makes me turn around quickly, fear rising up my chest but i see nothing. Taking steps slowly closer to the fireplace until I feel myself collide with someone, turning on my heels im meet with amber eyes and a re haired men.
The fire burned brighter behind him and in an abrupt movement he takes me by the neck, turning my self aaround so my back is against his body he holding my chin forcing me to look into his amber eyes as i watch them slowly fade into red crimson.
“don’t worry, this wont hurt…”
Was all he mumbles into my face before showing his fangs, an almost demonic face staring into mine i could feel my whole body panicking colder then ever felt.
I could still hear his deep laugh as i lost consciousness, eyes feeling so heavy being forced to open as my body shakes in his arms. I was abruptly woken up cold sweat sliding down my neck making me feel even more uncomfortable, the loud noise of my phone ringing waking me up fully.
I took it not looking who’s the caller.
“hello?” my voice was still muffled and raspy, throat dry.
“y/n? Are you okay?” jungkooks rushed voice said on the other side.
I felt my whole body immediately wake up at the sound of his voice. He was okay.
I didnt know what to say in that moment it felt unreal but i was so relieved to finally hear his voice, everything seemed to fall back to its place in that moment.
“I’m fine, i was so worried about you….” i tell him honestly “I’m so sorry i even went to your house.”
He chuckled and i cold almost picture his teasingly smiling.
“i know that…. I’m flattered you care that much for me” he said.
“how could i not? You are my best friend.”
“I know. Sorry I made you worry that much, i wont do that again kitten.”
I looked at the clock on my nightstand as it marked half past nine, stomach rumbles in hunger. An entire day has gone already and invent had single bite of food.
“oh my was that an alien?” he said, a deep laughter coming from the other side of the line.
“you heard that?” I exclaimed embarrassed, cheeks hitting up.
“hard not to, have you not feed the family of aliens in your stomach?” he playfully says, I could definitely picture the grin he had on his face as he said that.
“i will right now…” i groaned.
“yes do that, ill see you tomorrow at the grill?”
“yeah… text me the time” i tell him.
“will do boss, bye.”
“bye, Jungkook.”
With that i hung up the call, feeling the smile grow on my face.
For as much as my nightmares and illusions bring the bitterness of me i could always count on Jungkook to change that, he was always able to filter out all of that darkness from my heart.
Hearing my stomach roar in hunger again i’d decide to finally commit to feeding it, feeling completely refreshed now knowing my best friend was fine and safe i made my way downstairs to get some food.
The sight i saw as I went downstairs was almost enough to make me regret it completely my decision and alsmot go back to my room, watching as my mother sat in the couch with one of her boyfriends drinking beer as they’re watched a football match smoke do cigarettes filling the small tv room.
I felt like throwing up but I wouldn’t let this be the end of my day, taking my purse i took the back door and decided to go have dinner at the one place i knew would be opened this late. The Grill.
The light rain hasn’t stopped since it started today, deep in my heart I knew the air in Srping Villa had changed again. A feeling I was hoping I would never felt again ever since this small town was turned upside down, but all was gone.
My thoughts were in pieces and for at least the end of this night I just wanted to forget everything and enjoy a meal.
That was my only concern the moment I sat down in on of the tables close to the bar at the Grill, French fries in front of me and a cup with coffee. The only thing they would serve at this late night but o was grateful for it.
I was quietly eating my fries listening to the low voices around me, there were only a few people at the Grill tonight. Certainly the accident that happened last night did shaken some sense into people’s minds for once, a reminder that this place was not only a tourist attraction but it had its stories.
I dared to look up once I was almost finished eating my food, inmost chocking upon the scene a few tables away from mine on the corner.
There was the red haired men I meet earlier at Jungkooks house and Jimin, they seemed to be in a fun chat with two girls sitting between the two of them.
I could see how Jimin would push aside the hair of the girl beside him, clearly expressing flirtatious acts towards her.
It would take a genius to understand what was happening there, knowing it isn’t made me feel any better too.
As they got up and walked to the exit I tired my best to hide my presence, not waning to make anything more difficult.
Watching as Jiminclosed one arm around the girls neck, as they left the Grill.
I still remember Hoseoks words at the bonfire last night, that couldn’t be my minds doing. I knew he told me Jimin and Jungkook had something going on together and that was what made me even more uneasy.
If they do then why would Jimin be going out with that girl?
Why would he do such thing to Jungkook?
I immediately scensored myself, it’s none of my business I shouldn’t be even thinking about such things.
But as his friend also, I should at least make sure I’m no just jumping to wrong conclusions. I could be just misunderstanding what was happening.
Not daring much to overthink it I got up making my way to the exit, I was afraid I might’ve lose them by now but they were still close by. Walking a few feet behind them making sure to keep a good distance I fallowed as they walked around the night streets, so far nothing had happened.
Once I saw them take another turned I stoped - this is wrong, I shouldn’t be fallowing them like this.
With a sight I turned back to leave but ended up crashing with someone else.
“I’m so sorry….”
I mumbled turning around before harshly being pulled back.
“Hey!” I stare angrily at the girl who pulled me back.
The girls says nothing at first, she had grin on her face as she looks at me up and down. She didn’t look like someone from around here and I sure never saw here in town before, the girl was taller then as she wore heels, a dress glued to her body and a jacket over it.
“Watch your tone little girl… you’re no match for me” the girl says, taking a step closer to me till she’s nearly a centimeter away.
The more I stared at her the more I stared to feel a dimly tingling sensation over my body, it was making me feel colder and uncomfortable. I could feel my brain screaming and gut in unison for me to run, that something didn’t felt right. But I was paralyzed in that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to speak or move.
“Well since your here… let’s make this the best of it, hum?” The girl pulled me by the wrist.
I try to pull away from her grip but I was suddenly struck by a painful feeling as she bite into my wrist, a loud groan comes out of my mouth as I feel her sharp teeth rip through my skin.
Her eyes where completely black as she stared at me, I try to fight her, to pull her back but it was impossible she was so much stronger.
In that moment all I could hear was my own heart pounding in my chest, my entire body was shivering and my legs were shaking. The pain burned through my entire arm.
It was so fast that I could nearly process the moment the girl was ripped off my arm, I fall to my knees breathing quickly as I look up to the red haired men I saw this morning holding her against the wall by the neck.
I looked the red hair in panic, but I couldn’t tell who he was anymore. A chill spreads down my spine as his eyes were no longer the amber color I knew but red just like blood, in a second he bit into the girls neck and I watched in horror as blood splattered across the air, the girl groan out in pain and I looked away as the sounds of flesh being ripped off continued. No, this can’t be real - i begged.
It’s just another illusion of my mind, I’m sure I’m heaving another dream.
I could feel my whole body shake with my have breathing, heart racing faster by the seconds I was completely losing myself into panic.
Holding tighter to my burning arm, blood wetting the surface of my shirt and everything around it. The smell of it was getting stronger, something I knew but wasn’t used to it.
It wasn’t until I felt a grip into my shoulder that was able to move again.
“no!” i exclaimed, fearing it was red hair now ready to end me aswell but i felt myself slowly calming as im meet with Jimins worried expression.
“it’s okay y/n….” he murmured. “it’s me y/n.”
He helped me get back up on my feet, hands holding my shoulders he looked into my eyes.
“i’m so sorry for this” he said.
My eyes looked behind him were the red hair men stood, blood dripping down his lips as he smirked.
I didn’t know what to say, my mind was blank in that moment I didn’t know what was real.
“oh no… you’re…”Jimin said between pauses looking down at my arm “hurt…”
He sounded much lower and I notice the change in his eyes the moment he looked at me bloody arm, how hos brown eyes faded into red crimson pointy fangs showing.
“what happened here?!”
I blinked a couple times before looking up at the worried face of my best friend.
“Jungkook?” I called breathless.
Upon Jungkooks voice I felt myself wake up fully, and with that came the realization of the situation.
I pushed Jimin away rushing towards Jungkook and almost falling over my own feet, feeling my body getting colder and vision blurring.
He quickly catches me and I let myself be immersed into his warmth.
Leaning away I searched for his eyes.
“what is happening kook?” I asked.
He sighted looking at the two men behind me.
“opsie…” even without looking I could tell that wa the red haired men, his mocking deep voice.
“I’ll explain everything y/n I just need to make sure you’re…” he stopped, looking down between us to my arm.
I stared in panic as his eyes faded into bloody red eyes.
They were all the same.
“you’re hurt…” he said.
I feared I had lost myself completely in my insanity but this felt too real to be another illusion form my mind, too painful to be unreal.
The same as I saw in all my nightmares.
“Jungkook…. What are you?”
…..
Notes: this is it for the first part of the story, taglist? Comment if you want to be tagged! I love you guys hope you like this one, until the next one! 🫶☺️
#bts fanfiction#bts smut#bts x you#yoongi smut#yoongi x reader#jimin x reader#bts au#vampire au#namjoon smut#namjoon x y/n#seokjin x y/n#seokjin x reader#jimin x y/n#jimin smut#jimin x oc#jungkook x y/n#jungkook and reader#jungkook smut#jung hoseok x y/n#jung hoseok smut#hoseok x reader#hoseok smut#bts taehyung#bts fic#bts x reader#bts vampire au#min yoongi x reader#min yoongi smut#seokjin smut#kim seokjin
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simple thing, where have you gone?
alex blake x gn!reader
summary: for @storiesofsvu's holiday bingo "first snowfall" square + also inspired by this ask i recieved. alex knows you aren't sleeping and is determind to find out what's bothering you, and she's bringing out the big guns - hot cocoa.
word count: 3.2k
warnings: nightmare descriptions: feeling claustrophic, being trapped. alex touches r's hair (long enough that she moves a strand from r's eye - no description of hair type/colour). kissing. no use of y/n or pronouns. hurt/comfort with a happy ending.
a/n: this was so fun to write. i think it may be my fav thing i've written. i'm changing up the photos i post because i've seen a lot of people do this format (e.g. @emilys-bangs & @catssluvr - check them out <3) and i think it looks a lot prettier and cleaner than a gif so i'm jumping on the bandwagon.
Alex balances the two trays of steaming cocoas in her hands. The aroma tickles her senses, the creamy chocolate temporarily transporting her back to her childhood, to winter evenings in front of a fireplace with her family. It’s a welcome comfort after five days in chilly Bismarck, ND. She pushes her way into the conference room the team are currently taking up residence in; multiple heads lift up, sighs leaving lips, as shoulders relax at the indulgent scent, and Alex knows she has made the correct choice in grabbing the sweet treat for everyone.
“Is that what I think it is?” JJ sighs, hopeful and exhausted.
“I thought we could all use a little pick-me-up, especially in this weather.” She responds as she places the heavy trays on the table. Her eyes dart around the room as eager hands begin reaching for the hot beverages. Your absence is notable, and makes her teeth dig into her lip. A common theme this week.
“Thanks, Blake.” Morgan nods gratefully. He sips the cocoa, savouring the taste, thrown back to his own happy memories. It’s beautiful how a simple drink can have a room full of agents silently reminiscing. She catches Hotch, tenderly holding the cup, a warmth making its way up his cheeks as he takes a sip, so unlike the stoic figure he tries to hold whilst at work.
Alex grabs the last two cups from the tray. “Where’s-”
“Out back.” Reid interrupts, worry obvious. She wasn’t the only one that had noticed your declining state.
She retreats from the room with a smile as the team all voice their thank you’s. The cold night air is less forgiving when she steps outside a second time, biting at her skin, and causing her face to flush pink even as the hot cocoa continues to provide warmth to her hands and she buries her face in her scarf. She finds you leaning against the precinct wall, the glow of a nearby security light breaking up the night sky, highlighting you enough that she can make out your arms wrapped tightly around your body and your stare stuck on a point in the distance as she approaches.
You look around, the bags under your eyes more obvious in the unflattering yellow light. You haven’t been sleeping, Alex knows. Has been able to hear you restlessly moving around your room late at night due to the thin hotel walls. And despite that, you are always pouring over casefiles when everyone arrives in the precinct in the morning, looking like you’ve been glued to the chair for hours, even though the clock only reads eight am.
It’s not healthy, you’re working yourself to the bone and she can’t figure out what it is about this case that has you on such high-alert. It was brutal, three victims so far tortured and mutilated, but she’s watched you not flinch at worse.
She’s worried about you.
“Hot cocoa.” Alex says in lieu of a greeting, a small smile gracing her lips as she pushes the drink in your direction.
Your eyes widen, mouth opening in surprise, “Oh.” You take the cup from her hands, eyes tracking her face for a moment before you fully accept the gift, always looking for an ulterior motive.
You lift the drink to your nose, eyes closed as you inhale the chocolatey aroma through the mouthpiece of the lid. A hum leaves your lips, your shoulders relaxing further into the wall. A sense of peace finally settling over you for the first time this week.
Alex finally rewards herself with a sip of her own cocoa. The hot liquid fighting off the cold air and encompassing the ball of warmth in her chest that is directly related to you. She did good. Anything that eased the now permanent furrow of your brows was a win in her books.
“Thank you.” You sigh, eyes fluttering open. Your body rolls against the wall, leaning more towards her and creating a little pocket of space where the harsh biting air seems to dull. Her eyes move across your face, caressing every detail, wanting to hold this time while she can.
“How are you doing?” She asks, trying to keep her voice light so you don’t get defensive, and unintentionally making it soft and intimate in the small space.
You take another sip of your drink, nodding. “I’m okay.”
She arches her brow, she can’t help it. Her lips tilting upwards as her fingers reach out to ghost your arm. You follow the action, breath catching, and she forces her hand away, scolding herself for wanting more, always having to resist the urge to pull you closer.
She tucks her free hand into her trouser pocket, “How are you doing?”
You blow out a breath, visible in the air. She wonders if it might snow, the air feels frosty enough. “I just wanted a breather. I was about to head back inside.”
“A breather from what exactly?”
You huff, eyes moving away from her and focusing on something across the street. “I mean isn’t it normal to want a little space after five days of being in each other's pockets? I love the team but it’s not like any of us have had five proper minutes alone since we got here.”
She nods. She would agree with you if you weren’t beginning to get defensive, eyes avoiding hers and feet shifting beneath you. She tilts her head, aiming for casual, but knowing the words will hit anyway, “And this has nothing to do with the fact you’re not sleeping?”
Your eyes snap to hers, panic obvious, before they flicker away and you bury your head back in your cup. “I don’t know what you mean,” You murmur, words threatening to be lost to the cup as you take another sip of your drink.
She aches to reach out and stroke the hair away from your face that you are using as a shield. Instead, her fingers flex on her cup, her teeth digging into her lip. “You can talk to me.” She whispers, voice coming out like a promise, a vow. “I want to help, however I can.”
“Why?” You ask, disbelief coating your features, looking at her like she’s a puzzle you can’t solve, no matter how hard you try.
“Because you’re hurting.” She responds honestly and swallows down the lump in her throat that tries to make itself known.
Tears build in your eyes as you shake your head. Your eyes flicker over her face and then away again, a soft laugh escaping your mouth as your fingers tap a pattern against your cup. “Just like that?” You whisper throatily, gaze still trapped in the distance.
“Of course,”
You swallow roughly, eyes finding their way back to hers, lost and scared. An expression she never wants to see on your face again. She doesn’t have it in her to resist again.
She sighs, stepping closer and gently brushes the hair from your eyes. They fall close, a soft breath leaving your lips as you lean into the gesture. She memorises each detail of you, committing the length of your eyelashes to memory, the lines around your mouth, the feeling of your skin beneath her touch. Her hand trails down to your arm and settles there, safe.
Your eyes flutter open, holding her gaze as you nod gently. ”I haven’t been sleeping well.” You confess.
She waits patiently for you to continue as she notices a few white snowflakes land in your hair.
Snow.
“I’ve been having this recurring dream where I'm trapped in this box, and I can barely breathe. It’s—awful.” You rapidly blink away the tears in your eyes. “I’m screaming but no one comes. I’m all alone. And then I wake up and I feel claustrophobic in my own body, all these emotions bubbling up that I can’t release.” Your tears spill over and you reach up to hastily wipe away the mess with a shaking hand. “It’s stupid and selfish. There’s three dead women and I’m crying over nothing.”
“Sweetie, no.” She urges, hand tightening on your arm. “You are none of those things. Those dreams sound atrocious. No wonder you haven’t been sleeping.”
“I’m so scared to close my eyes.” You whisper, hauntedly.
“Then let me watch over you, and when the dream hits we can break the pattern. I’ll be there.”
You shake your head, laughing, “What? You’re gonna watch over me while I sleep—”
“Yes.” She interrupts, voice serious and weighted. She won’t let you joke this away, not when you look seconds away from collapsing. Alex would sit there the entire night if she needed to. She would watch over you and keep you safe.
You swallow roughly, unable to hold her intense gaze, the probing eyes that not only saw you, but took action to help. Snowflakes continue to slowly fall, landing on your hair and face, and making her heart erupt with emotions. The urge to touch is amplified tenfold, the combined beauty of the snow and you almost too much to bare. She forces her hand to fall away.
“Alex, I will be okay. You don’t need to do any of this.”
She nods, knows that, but it will not stop her. “You need to sleep. You are destroying yourself pretending you don’t. Why wouldn’t I help when I can?”
You sigh, frosted breath erupting into the space between you. Annoyed, frustrated, at the thought of needing anyone. “Only because I need to be able to focus on this case.”
She smirks, eyes brightening. “For the good of the case.” She hums, catching your eye and enjoying the almost bashful expression that coats your features as you huff out a laugh and your gaze skates away again.
You take another sip of your drink and she mirrors you. It’s beginning to lose its heat, but you don’t complain. Snowflakes continue to fall, and Alex turns towards them, lifting her head into the snowfall. The delicate flakes land on her face, cold and wet, and a smile tugs at her lips. This was the first snowfall of the year, and she could not think of a better moment for it to arrive than when you were standing next to her.
The chattering of your teeth breaks through her basking, and she turns back around, a disapproving tut escaping her mouth when she finds you shivering on the spot in silence. “Let’s go inside before you get hypothermia.”
“No,” You protest, hand landing on her arm to stop her moving away. “No, you love the snow. Let’s enjoy it a moment longer.”
“Honey, you’re shivering–”
“I’m fine.” You rebut, shoulders squaring in stubbornness. And then, softer, from below your lashes, “I want to finally enjoy the snow with you.”
She melts, putty in your hands. She can’t argue with you, your eyes should be considered a weapon the way she crumbles for them. She nods, and outstretches her hand, “Here, give me your cocoa.”
You pass it over without objection, and Alex walks a few steps away to dispose of both cups in the bin. Long since cold and of no use to anyone now. She begins pulling off her scarf as she approaches you again, and your eyes widen.
“Alex–”
She wraps the burgundy cashmere around your neck, bating the hands away that try to interrupt her task. Your shoulders slump, your nose burrowing into the material as a sigh leaves your lips. She smiles and ignores the biting cold now hitting her body as she fiddles with the end of the scarf, making it lay flat against your coat.
“There,” She whispers.
You sigh, holding her gaze with a furrowed brow. She can see thoughts winding their way through your head, but you don’t voice them. Instead, you stumble forward, your arms pulling her in and wrapping tightly around her waist, eliciting a surprised “oh” from her throat as her own arms hold you close, after a second to compute. Her nose finds its way to your hair, the smell of your shampoo evading her senses and making her hold you tighter.
“Thank you.” You whisper. “For everything.”
“You do not need to thank me.” She responds, hand stroking your hair before she pulls back to see your face, missing the sight. Your hands remain fixed to her waist, your teeth digging into your bottom lip as you look at her. She tracks the movement, heart thumping in her chest.
“I don’t want you to think your actions go unappreciated.”
She finds a strand of your hair, one not even in your eye, and stokes it out the way, a choked tut escaping her throat. It’s getting increasingly more difficult to remember herself, to draw back, especially when you look at her with soft, unguarded eyes. The snowfall is getting more intense, covering you in white snowflakes, landing on your eyelashes and melting as you blink.
“I could never feel unappreciated by you.” She responds, voice barely louder than the wind. Too honest, too much of her heart on show, and you must see it, the way your breath catches, your hand tightening in her jacket. “I just want to do what I can to keep you safe.”
You arch a brow, “You know that’s not always gonna be possible, right?”
She nods, hand moving to cup your cheek and caress the cold skin. You lean into the gesture, your eyes falling close. She isn’t silly, she understands the risks of this job; she knows it isn’t always going to be possible. However, why does that mean she should stop trying? “I know, but sometimes it’s nice to know someone has your back.”
Your eyes open again, blinking slowly, snowflakes interrupting your sight. “And that's all this is? Just you having my back?” You run your lip between your teeth, your tongue swiping out to moisten the chapped mess you leave behind.
Alex tracks the movement under heavy eyes, “No,” She breathes, honestly.
Your mouth parts, your chest rising and falling, eyes focused on her own mouth. Her thumb trails down your cheek, pausing by the corner of your mouth as her gaze finds yours again. You watch her, pupils blown, and Alex slowly pulls her thumb across your bottom lip, feeling the soft flesh, and nearly crumbling at your heaving breath.
“Alex–” You sigh, eyes pleading for more. Her heart thumps, head hazy with desire, as she finally brings her mouth closer to yours. Your hot breath hit her lips, breaking up the cold, and melting the snowflakes that have landed near her lips. She doesn’t mean to tease you, she just can’t believe she’s here, and is set on memorising every moment of this interaction.
You have other ideas, a frustrated whine leaving your lips, as you thrust forward and close the remaining distance. Her body hums at the first brush of your lips, needy and impatient, her stomach tingling as you pull her flush against her. She can’t think, can’t breathe, as your lips move together, the sensations perfectly overwhelming. The kisses melt into something gentle and slow, but the neediness never leaves, simmering under the surface. You both balance on the edge of something more; blood rushing through her veins, but she’s not able to forget her location.
She pulls back, short of breath, the cold air rushing to fill in the space and making her shiver. Your lips are swollen, so kissed. The most irresistible you’ve ever been. She caresses your cheek, “You, my dear, are the person I’m falling in love with.”
You rapidly blink away tears, “Really?”
“Of course,” She nods, smiling. “It’s you.”
You shake your head slightly in disbelief, “You make everything sound so simple.”
“I think with you it could be.”
“God–” Your voice cracks, and you tug her back your lips finding hers again, frantic, hot and needy. You devour her with bruising kisses, communicating what you fear to say aloud, and Alex catches it all. I feel it too. I want you. I’m scared. Please stay.
She pulls away, earlier than she wants to. “Honey–” She meets you in another kiss, but drags herself back again, forcibly taking a step back so she can’t fall into you again so easily.
“Sorry, sorry–” You say between laboured breaths, shaking your head.
“It’s not because I do not want to.” She explains, a blush rising in her cheeks, that mingles with the permanent one on her face because of the frosty air.
“I know,” You nod, smiling bashfully. “But we should get back to the team.”
She sighs and nods. “Yes.”
“And out of this snow before we catch a cold.”
She looks out at the white flakes, beginning to settle on the ground. Hopefully in a few hours she’ll be able to feel the crunch of snow under her feet. Your hand rubs up and down her jacketed arm, “When this case is over, I’ll find a place where you can properly enjoy the snow.” You promise.
Her heart warms, gaze softening as she looks at your earnest expression. “Come on, you’re right, let’s get inside.” She places her hand on your back and pushes you back in the direction of the precinct.
You oblige, shoulders bumping together as you walk. Alex catches your eyes just before she opens the door to the building, eyes soft and her smile just for you. Her hand falls from your back, forcing her touch away, as she pulls open the door. You step inside, subtly squeezing her hand as you pass, making her heart thump.
She follows, watching as you attempt to shake off the snowflakes that cling to your body. It's useless, they’re already melting, soaking into your hair and clothes, but she enjoys watching you try.
“There you guys are.” Morgan interrupts, making her break her gaze away from you and to the man watching you in mild amusement. Alex’s not ready to give away just how much she’s feeling for you to outsiders just yet. She wants to keep it between the two of you for now. “Hotch wants us to go over victimology. Thinks something isn’t right.”
She nods, ready to focus back on the case. “Of course, let’s go.” She heads in the direction of the conference room, mindful of the way Morgan hangs back to speak to you.
“Is that Blake’s scarf?” She hears him ask, amusement thick in his voice.
She doesn’t dare turn back around.
“Yes, I was cold.” You respond, defensive, and likely with an eye-roll.
He whistles, “I see you, casanova.”
“Morgan–” You protest, voice dripping with annoyance. Alex winces and pushes her way into the conference room, hearing his loud chuckle sounding from behind her.
The rest of the team is already spilling over folders, and she takes her seat, pausing first to slip out of her wet coat and discard it on an unused chair. You make your way into the room and she can’t resist looking at you from the corner of her eye as you take the seat opposite her, a smile on your face that conveys you can feel her stare.
She looks away, forcing you out of her mind, and instead focusing on Hotch as he starts to voice the holes in victimology.
She’d check on you again this evening. There was an unsub to catch.
taglist: @aburman03
#alex blake x reader#alex blake#criminal minds#kattsholidaybingo2024#reader insert#gn!reader#cm fic#fanfiction#kt writes#hurt/comfort#happy ending#where have you gone?
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2.) stupid pictures
Y/N shoved the door to Room Two open, already bracing themselves for the worst. They knew exactly who they were working with today, and it had been eating at them all morning.
Seungmin stood near the window, scrolling through his phone. He looked up as they walked in, his expression unreadable at first. Then he smiled—a smug, infuriating smile that Y/N hadn’t missed one bit.
“Well, look who it is,” he said, slipping his phone into his pocket. “You actually showed up.”
“Of course I showed up,” Y/N snapped, walking past him to set their camera bag on the table. “It’s my job.”
“Must’ve been hard,” Seungmin said, leaning against the wall. “You know, taking a deal with someone you can’t stand.”
Y/N shot him a glare. “Horrible.”
“Good to know some things never change,” Seungmin said, his tone light but with an edge.
“Yeah, like your annoying attitude,” Y/N muttered, pulling out their camera and fiddling with the settings. “Can we just get started?”
Seungmin shrugged and pushed off the wall, strolling over to the backdrop. “You’re the boss.”
“Finally, something we agree on,” Y/N said under their breath.
“What was that?” he asked, tilting his head.
“Nothing,” Y/N replied sharply. “Just stand there and try not to make this harder than it has to be.”
Seungmin chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m great at this. You just focus on keeping up.”
Y/N gritted their teeth and raised the camera. “Face forward. Shoulders relaxed.”
“Anything else, Captain?”
“Yeah. Shut up,” Y/N snapped.
Seungmin smirked but followed the instructions.
The first few shots went smoothly enough—at least, until Seungmin opened his mouth again.
“You know,” he said as Y/N adjusted the angle of the lights, “it’s kind of funny seeing you like this. All bossy and professional.”
Y/N rolled their eyes. “I’ve always been professional.”
“Sure,” Seungmin said, crossing his arms. “But it’s still weird. You’re so… serious now. It’s almost boring.”
“Maybe I’m serious because I actually care about my work,” Y/N shot back, aiming the camera at him. “Unlike you, who probably just stands around and lets everyone else do all the work.”
Seungmin raised an eyebrow. “I don’t just stand around.”
“Right. You also talk too much,” Y/N muttered.
Seungmin laughed, leaning forward slightly. “Admit it, you missed me.”
Y/N lowered the camera and stared at him. “What?”
“You heard me,” he said, his grin widening. “I mean, it’s been, what, five years? You must’ve thought about me at least once.”
Y/N let out a bitter laugh. “Yeah, I thought about how great it was not having to deal with you.”
Seungmin’s grin faltered. “Ouch. That’s harsh, even for you.”
“Don’t act like you’re surprised,” Y/N said, adjusting the camera strap on their shoulder. “You were awful back then.”
“You weren’t exactly a saint either,” Seungmin replied, his voice losing some of its teasing edge.
“At least I didn’t go out of my way to make people’s lives miserable,” Y/N fired back.
“Are you serious right now?” Seungmin said, stepping closer. “You were just as bad as me, if not worse.”
“How was I worse?” Y/N demanded, crossing their arms.
“You always had to be the smartest, the best at everything. You never let anyone have a win,” Seungmin said, his tone sharp.
“That’s rich coming from you,” Y/N said, their voice rising. “You couldn’t handle it when someone didn’t kiss your ass.”
Seungmin’s jaw tightened, and for a moment, neither of them spoke.
“You know what?” Y/N finally said, slinging their camera bag over their shoulder. “I’m not doing this. Find someone else to take your stupid photos.”
Seungmin reached out as they turned to leave. “Y/N, wait—”
“Why?” they snapped, spinning back around. “So you can keep acting like a jerk and pretending like nothing’s changed?”
Seungmin hesitated, his hand dropping to his side. “I didn’t mean—”
“Save it,” Y/N interrupted, their voice trembling with frustration. “I don’t care what you meant.”
They turned and stormed out, slamming the door behind them.
Seungmin stood there in the empty studio, running a hand through his hair and muttering a curse under his breath.
previous |~| masterlist |~| next
note: so sorry for the very long wait. i wonder whats gonna happen next.
taglist: @strrykais, @goldenmellow, @vegetablesarefuntables, @sincerely-sun, @ayyonoona
#skz#sskzlover#skz x reader#seungmin texts#kim seungmin x reader#stray kids fake texts#seungmin#seungmin smau#skz texts#skz fake texts#stray kids x reader#stray kids texts#stray kids fanfic#seungmin x reader#seungmin series#stray kids#kpop#kpop x black reader#kpop fake texts#kpop x reader#kpop texts#stray kids smau
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Hey! I have a couple of questions related to hair physics (hairodynamics?) and Google has failed me in my search to answer them. They’re pretty specific, so if you can’t answer either, no worries, just figured I’d ask.
Basically, I am creating a superhero character (named Siren, they/them pronouns). I am planning for their hairstyle to be 6 jumbo 2-strand twists. Four of those twists would be up in Bantu knots. Here are a couple drawings for reference.
Because they’re a superhero, I want them to at some point have a cool action star moment where they get hit with a big attack and then emerge from the destruction looking disheveled but in a really badass and cool way. I know sometimes, for characters with straighter hair, that includes their hair coming out of their hairstyle (I’m mainly thinking of Katara from ATLA here, referring to like when she gets hit with a big attack and her braid comes undone). My question is, would it make sense for something like that to happen with Siren, where the Bantu knots come undone and they’re left with only the twists? Hopefully that question makes sense outside of my brain.
Also, do you know how bonnets work with Bantu knots? Everything I Googled said that you can wear a bonnet with Bantu knots and you would take the knots out in two weeks, but I’m unclear if it would make more sense for Siren to undo the knots and sleep with just the twists in, redoing the knots in the morning, and if they would be able to immediately retwist their hair every two weeks.
Thanks!! I’m sorry for how hyper specific these questions are.
1) this is hard to answer because it depends how the bantu knot was done. I see it in my mind and idk how to describe it for you. It could fall that dramatically if the texture of the hair was looser, or if there was a lot of hair in the bantu knot, or they were knotted while in braids. Otherwise it's just gonna like... unfurl as a twist, I would think. I'll think on it some more, and if any Black peers want to chime in on this one, that'd be helpful!
2) just put the bonnet on. The knots will hold. Like, yes, you could do what you just said but... Imo there's no real point to having bantu knots as a style if you're gonna take them down every night. You just get used to sleeping on them. "Pain is the price of beauty" me mother used to say 😅. If your character doesn't have time to retwist her hair every two weeks due to her lifestyle, then she might want to consider a different style altogether.
Edit: I forgot the pictures. Yeah her hair would probably fall and if her hair is that long, yeah she could redo them. I was thinking shorter hair.
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WIP Wednesday
The last one I did may have been in September. 👀 Been a long time. Haven’t really been writing much fanfic. Stuck on different papers for school. I was tagged by @evolnoomym and she shared ideas so I will too! ❤️ @pr3ttynpiink also tagged me and looks to be cooking up some fun new fics. 🥰
I want to write something for Modern Din and Christmas to go in my series: This is the Neighborhood Din, but it will likely need a chapter between that to make sense. (Every so often I care about making sense). Also more Luke doing Jedi yoga on his lawn and Poe & Finn being boyfriends because I want it all!
I need to write a new chapter of Weddings 101 with Dieter. Kinda left on a cliffhanger and a lot happened in my mind that should be posted 🤣
There’s a little over a month until the DMAMC 2025 challenge is due, haven’t written anything. Actually forgot about it, but fear not! I’ll think of something. 👀 My character is Pero Tovar (I doomed myself by picking him 😭 like the level of difficulty). But maybe I’ll revisit a pairing I’ve done.
Random but working on a Baldur’s Gate 3 fic and bugging @perotovar (Erin beta read for me what I have so far), @megamindsecretlair reads the snippets I send her and @soft-persephone looks at the pics I send her and is honest 🤣🤣🤣). Everyone’s favorite moody (for many a legit reason) and murderous pale elf who’s a vampire Astarion and an OFC. Things that happened between these two: a lot of staring, mocking Gale (everyone’s favorite past time- he makes it easy but also the wizard is really nice insane like everyone else but nice), drying some hair, hugs and some tears. Lots of angst, fluff and comfort. Haven’t decided on smut yet, is likely but I’ll see how it reads.
Didn’t realize that A Safe Place for Us was up to chapter 7 on AO3 and only 5 on Tumblr 👀 My bad. I should be able to post one chapter on here before November ends. The formatting and graphics take me the longest. 🤓
I also have a secret Santa fic things I’m supposed to be working on for a discord group but I also have not started. 👀 Unsure of which direction it should go in. I’ll figure it out, eventually I think.
The first paragraph of chapter five of “A Safe Place for Us”:
Waking up to Dieter takes getting used to for Aisha. It’s not unwelcome, she’s just not used to someone clinging to her like he does. Every morning he stays at her apartment is one where he has his arm and head somewhere on her. Chest, stomach, thigh, back, ass one time because he enjoys scissoring her entrance wider and scooping his spend that drips out of her back in before pumping his fingers to stir his cum within her.
Yeah…chapter five is…a ride so to speak. 👀 Forgot we had a strong start.
I found a WIP that contains Marcus Pike angst:
His romantic relationships and come and gone just like yours but you always had each other. Though, you treated yours as ways to work off the need you felt for your friend. To distract yourself, even when you were with your other partners, you’d think of him during the throws of passion, even when having simple meals and they may chew too loudly. You loathed your behavior toward your partners and your friend, biting your lips to not utter his name while under someone else.
“Marcus…”
Is the only name you want to say but can’t.
Hmm….might be a good holiday one or something. 🤔
That’s the ideas for now. Always a lot and never finished. ✅ Would it be Nerdie if they were? 😎
Have a happy Thanksgiving, holiday, days off of work and stay safe!
NPT: @chaithetics @schnarfer @inept-the-magnificent @yopossum @djarinmuse @604to647 @secretelephanttattoo @magpiepills @maggiemayhemnj @murder-wife @sin-djarin @syd-djarin @morallyinept @westside-rot @tinytinymenace @sunshinehaze1 @soft-girl-musings @goodwithcheese @jolapeno @bluestar22x @clawdee @romanarose @beefrobeefcal @bitchesuntitled @bitchwitch1981
#wip wednesday#on a Thursday#pedro pascal characters#fanfiction#pedro pascal fanfiction#baldur's gate 3#baldur’s gate fanfiction#marcus pike#dieter bravo#din Djarin
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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had the craziest nightmare today. hit every nightmare genre and added a new one just for me
#timothy's txts.#late getting off my break at work for my worst manager BUT at the worst place i worked#walked into my manager in a meeting with EVERY head person in our district and they all chided me for being late and told me to hurry and#then i couldn’t find my apron#and then the street turned into a riot with cars being targeted by rockets and pedestrians being. also hit by rockets ?#this lady and i were by each other and we were like well normally we wouldn’t steal these motorbikes (they were hot pink though and swag as#hell) and then we started trying to escape but my seat was too high so i couldn’t drive safely#eventually we made it to her house with a small group of my coworkers / friends#and then a coworker i really liked got targeted and killed bc of me and the killers were shouting my name and hunting me down#so i go inside this lady’s house and it’s huge and honestly really nice#and i’m like hey do you have a toolbox PLEASE i need an alan wrench to lower the seat so i can drive safely and get away#and she was like yeah second floor#i asked which room? give me a landmark of the room so i don’t search every one#and she said it’s directly on the landing you can’t miss it#i go upstairs (the people hunting me in a red minivan have pulled up to her house and are suspiciously pulling all around it and backing up#and looking in the windows and i don’t know if this lady would sell me out) and ITS A TOY HOUSE. ???!??? not a toolbox…#so i’m searching but the people come in so i’m running through rooms and being quiet and make my way down to the basement that connects to#the garage and look desperately for a fucking alan wrench and they’re getting closer and i go through a small closet and there’s a trap door#and i go in there where there’s another hidden door and i finally get to the garage#and i find a tool box and decide to write the lady a note thanking her and telling her why i left so quickly#but all the papers i find are filled with scary notes and i’m wondering why they make me so uneasy#until i realize they’re notes that were written to Me from. a guy who really fucked me up#and one of them says ‘trans hot’ and i literally go :( i don’t want to be trans hot…#<- specifically from him because of the issues.#and then i realize that he’s the one hunting me down to Get me (the red van was irl his family’s car lmao)#and i’m panicking in an increasing amount and i won’t be able to get to the motorbike and escape with my coworkers and friends#and then my sibling woke me up asking if i wanted a breakfast sandwich or pancakes. so. crazy dream to have at nine in the morning#ask to tag
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i do love my family very dearly but the internalized ableism the men in here struggle with is. so much
#marzi speaks#it’s worse with my brother but he’s doing more to actively work on improving that#my dad however has very subtle internalized ableism that i don’t think he recognizes is there#which is. fun#like earlier. either last night or this morning i don’t remember#i was talking to him about how while ideologically i have nothing against accepting needing help and things like that#in practice it’s very challenging to adjust to being disabled even temporarily. and that if i do end up with a diagnosis that’s gonna be#a lot to handle. both mentally and just with the lifestyle changes i’ll have to make#and he makes a bit of a face and goes ‘i wouldn’t quite call you disabled. i’d just say ‘ill’’#and i just sort of look at him. and i blink. and i go ‘i am physically Un-Able to do things i am normally able to do’#‘i can’t walk long distances at all. i can’t sit in chairs for too long without causing pain’#‘i’ve spent the last 24 hours staring longingly at my computer because i want to draw but am currently Not Able To’#he didn’t argue with me but i can tell he was still unnerved by the idea of picturing his daughter as disabled#also like . illness and disability are not mutually exclusive? several disabilities are or involve chronic illness#i shouldn’t be surprised though. i mentioned considering starting lexapro#and he went on his ‘you’re an adult and it’s your choice in the end but i wouldn’t recommend it’ spiel#(he’s anti-psychiatry bc he doesn’t like the idea of breaking the brain down into smth so purely physical)#(and also doesn’t like the idea of someone being dependent on pills their whole life)#(which i’m giving him some slack on rn bc he is a just-got-clean recovering opoid addict. so)#(btw before any of you say SHIT abt my dad he took his pills legally prescribed for chronic pain and did not abuse them)#(and even if he DID that would give nobody a right to make a moral judgement on him. ok cool)#i then reminded him that my mom takes anti-anxiety meds and they really really helped her#and he just goes ‘true.’ and moves on#king u got some shit to unpack#it’s fine if u didn’t want to start antidepressants when it was recommended to you meds aren’t for everyone#but like come on now. u don’t gotta be so fundamentally against it when literally ur own wife who you adore takes psych meds#anywho my mom handled me making the disability comment much better. she was basically just like ‘ur fear is totally understandable’#‘u have a good support system we’ll help you through it’#which. thanks mom 👍 that was very kind of her to say
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woman experiences transcendental joy after clocking out of work for the day
#i want you all to know that this morning i drove to work with a bloody nose. like i got ready and then my nose started bleeding and i had to#drive one handed halfway there while i waited for it to stop#and also i stayed in bed ten minutes late and didn’t get to do my full getting ready routine so i look horrible and feel worse#and then they asked if i could stay late and i said yes (????)#can’t wait to go home and have my dad be passive aggressive at me for not having a job.#(in case you missed the obvious insane thing about that. i DO have a job. he’s mad because i haven’t figured out a ‘career’)#which i haven’t done because i cannot imagine a bearable career in this society. let alone the field my degree was for.#and also. i’m literally lloyd dobler but a 23 year old girl
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#so. there’s this girl. we’re taking the same 20hr a week summer class#so for five hours a day we are in close proximity. i saw her on the first day and thought she was cute. we got to talking#became friends. i organized a study group with us and a few other ppl from class but no one else showed… thank god tbh#what was meant to be a three hour study sesh became 12 hours of us talking about everything and nothing. hinting at being gay. more hinting#about being gay. hour ten: i tell her i’m into women. her smile. god. she laughs and says she’s also into women. red cheeks#nervous glances. she’s been kicking my feet all night just because she could. i’m smiling like an idiot because there’s a chance. she keeps#causally initiating contact. it’s getting to hour twelve. i’ve got to go because i have work in the morning. i can’t keep my eyes off her#‘when are we doing this again?’ ‘tuesday’ ‘deal’#i say goodbye followed with a casual ‘see you in less than 24hrs’ she replies even more casually ‘feels like an eternity’#so basically i’m feeling AO NORMAL HAHAHAHA!!! SHES INTO WOMEN.#SHE SAID I WAS INTIMIDATING WHEN WE FIRST MET. FEW HOURS LATER: INTIMIDATING WOMEN ARE ATTRACTIVE. AAAAHAHAAHAHA!!!! I CANT EVEN#basically i’m in LOVE. we’re planning her birthday party already and that shit is months away- just the two of us.WHAT THE FUCK IS MY LIFE?#I’m so happy and the one tumblr user that follows me has to know.#the way we’ve been texting for an hour after we’ve left. i’m positively gleeful
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