#also an absolute idiot

[acowardinmordor]

Eddie doesn’t have a driver’s license. He has six fakes, but has never taken the test, and definitely couldn’t pass it if he tried. He can drive, and he knows mostly what the signs mean, but some of them he assumes are just decorative. Eddie brings the kiddos back from a trip to Indy where he had them invent meanings for the pointless signs. The kids mention it the next day. That's when Steve learn that Eddie never really learned how to drive. That afternoon is also when the group learns that Eddie can, in fact, outrun Steve when properly motivated.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

:-P

[goddess-of-silvers]

I know everyone’s mad at Aziraphale right now because of how the season’s ended but I don’t think we’ve talked enough about the fact that Aziraphale has been keeping a diary for centuries (based on the fact the entry we see is from volume 603) and he literally starts his entries with “dear diary, last month Crowley and I both happened to be in Edinburgh”.

[secretsimpleness]

Sometimes I want to bring Morrigan but then I remember I play as a face-tanking rogue and I bring Wynne. Warden Cousland, Morrigan, Wynne / Dragon Age Origins (c) Bioware

[unfortunate-cantaloupe]

Hotch is one of my favorite characters because whenever there’s an episode with misogynists, homophobes, racists, or any other bigots he looks like he is exercising ALL of his willpower to not pummel them into the ground. He is five seconds away from committing police brutality and I love it. If he wasn’t so well trained in bureaucracy I guarantee you Hotch would’ve killed more people than most of the UnSubs combined

[starwarjotta]

Day 5 - caf since my scribbles can be totally illegible, here’s a transcript Obi-Wan: Here you go, Cody Cody: Oh, thanks, sir Cody: this... it’s caf? Obi-Wan: Ah, yes! I’ve noticed my teas are not really to your tastes, so I stocked up some caf for you instead! I hope it’s okay Cody: ... oh Cody: ...thank you.

[essektheylyss]

I'm also still laughing that he really showed up, introduced himself as an Archivist of the Cobalt Soul, and then insinuated that they were going to go extrajudicially hunt down, capture, and "interrogate" a Cerberus Assembly Archmage. Sir, archivists do not do that kind of thing, least of all on their own, LEAST OF ALL with a bunch of random hooligans they were just sent to collect for an unrelated excursion. Quite honestly, that was the thing I kept going back to in evidence of, there is absolutely no way this is a legit archivist.

[nenestansunsthings]

having svsss au ideas beyond my station

thinking. shang qinghua goes on a mission as a young disciple to some town in fuckoff nowhere and finds himself in the qiu household. and there he finds a young shen jiu, undergoing the plot he originally intended for him and hadn't realised had become real and he's so young oh god hes so young why is he so small what do you mean that part was real, he hadn't kept it why is it real—

and he panics and sneaks him the Fuck out of that house

and he's not sure what to do but surely sending him to cang qiong will fuck up something in the plot and he can't come under even more investigation and cang qiong tryouts dont happen for months anyway and his system would probably never allow it (it doesnt. it would interfere with yue qingyuans story) but shen jiu is refusing to stay anywhere near this place and wants to learn cultivating to protect himself make sure nothing like this ever happens again and sqh panics harder and

calls mobei jun.

okay. on second thought, maybe this was a bad idea. but he stumbles over himself and shushes baby shen jiu's very understandable freaking out and asks his king for the first thing hes ever asked for other than his own life.

is there any way this human child could learn cultivation in the demon world?

[sunriseovergotham]

remember: you can always improve a ship by making them both as stupid as possible and incapable of communicating in normal or sane ways. 100% success rate

[satoruxx]

don’t ask me why i’m back at midnight i don’t know either. BUT EEEEEE

thinking about wolf!toji who when he finally gets comfy w touch and you are all comfy w teasing him and playing w his hair and ears and out of nowhere he nips your arm w his teeth

he’s just as surprised as you are— the action just came out of nowhere and just before he opens his mouth to apologize profusely and retreat into his old ways, terrified of becoming someone you are afraid of, you giggle.

“did you just chomp me to get me to stop? you’re the cutest thing ever!”

and he’s once again reminded of your near foolish fearlessness when it comes to him. how you trust him entirely and would never even fathom him in that angry, mean way he used to embody. no, from the looks on your face you’re just barely restraining yourself from grabbing his cheeks and cooing like a grandmother.

“yeah, and next time ‘m taking a finger with me”

okay i’m sorry im done I shall leave you be

OKAY SAGE SERIOUSLY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE??? THE WAY I LITERALLY HAVE A SCENE WHERE TOJI TRIES TO PLAYFULLY BITE YOUR FINGER IN THE NEXT CHAPTER....

anyways yes i fully believe he would snap his chompers at you the way dogs do... obviously not to hurt but that's just their way of playing yk??? first time he does it he literally goes rigid. you’re being silly, sitting next to him on the couch and poking at his ears without a care in the world. he rolls his eyes at the antics—you seem to enjoy the way his ears flick every time you touch them. he halfheartedly tells you to quit it and yet makes no effort to get you to stop, too busy focusing on your quiet giggles.

and then without any warning, he finds his teeth nipping at your arm. you freeze. he freezes. he knows it wasn't hard enough to draw blood but it appalls him that he even bared his fangs at you in the first place. the guilt that washes over him is almost dizzying, intensified by a strange sense of fear. that's it—he's now exposed himself as the uncontrollable animal he's always been. you'll see it now, just how dangerous and scary he is.

he's waiting for your anger with bated breath, but all he hears is a chime of laughter. he glances at you, and finds the most amused grin he's ever seen. "i hope you know that lil chomp is not stopping me."

he blanches. "that... it didn't hurt?"

you raise a brow. "of course not. it basically felt like a tickle."

toji's head spins. the way you catch him off guard is scary. he always needs to backtrack and remember that you don't view him through that lense—that to you he's nothing more than an overgrown puppy. which, to him, is extremely ridiculous. but only someone as naive as you could stare at a wolf hybrid who has known nothing but violence and say that his teeth are nothing but a tickle. you are so stupidly compassionate, sweet in a way that warms his tongue—addicting and vice-like.

"you know these teeth have bitten off literal flesh, right?" he questions. you grin, eyes crinkling in a strangely familiar way.

"so? not like they'd do anything to me." your smile is blindingly smug, and toji's shoulders relax. once again, you are too trusting. it infuriates him—how correct you are. there is a pulse against his ribcage that seems to steadily speed up the longer he looks at you. so frustrating.

you reach up and jab your pointer finger into his cheek, and he doesn't think twice before trying to snap at it. your laughter echoes through his ears as you pull your hand away quickly, and the wry grin on his face seems all too natural.

"not do anything, huh? careful, next time 'm taking that finger with me."

[amanitacurses]

[fireat-will]

River's incredible competence being the root cause of his incredible incompetence is hilarious to me.

He's just capable of getting so far through the dumbest plans that for anyone else would get them caught in an instance. But no he commits so far.

[huntingrays]

i physically cannot write valgrace without making jason a huge simp for leo

[demaparbat-hp]

Yoi is a babe 🫶

A diva, is what he is.

[nekropsii]

RUFIOH PROPAGANDA: Literally everything he has ever done to and about Damara - cheating on her and lying to her for years, seemingly never standing up for her when Meenah was terrorizing her, still chasing her image as a sex object to this day (particularly Aradiabot, who he says acts “just like the real thing”), and calling her his “psycho ex” behind her back constantly while acting nice to her face.

KANKRI PROPAGANDA: Straight up doesn’t think Misogyny is real and denies its existence outright, calling it a meaningless pseudoscience not worth any concern, discussion, or consideration. Slutshames Porrim directly to her face.

[qqueenofhades]

Sure, every single one of Trump's announced cabinet picks so far is (as expected) spectacularly terrible, but fear not, everyone. Susan Collins is here and she is Very Concerned.