#also Jay: I'm just gonna keep all my feelings inside of me and then one day I'll die lol

[undead-potatoes]

2, 8, 21 from the Tav list!

2. What relationship did your Tav have with their family/guardian(s) growing up? Has that changed with age?

Growing up in a (frankly understaffed) orphanage, he never bonded much with the adults around him, and what little familiar bonds he formed was with the other children. Unfortunately they all scattered to the four winds as they became too old and had to move out, and he only keeps some surface level contact with a few of the kids he grew up with. The only true constant familiar bond he's maintained through his life is his first mentor, Nana. She's the closest he ever got to a stable parental figure, and she wasn't all that stable nor maternal so you know. But she taught him what she knew, cared for him the best she could, and he in return has looked out for her ever since. They don't see each other that often anymore, but he checks in on her a few times a month to see how she's doing, especially as she's getting older and struggling to take proper care of herself.

8. Did your Tav have any romantic and/or sexual relationships prior to their illithid adventure? If yes, who was it with and what was it like? If no, how did they feel about being single?

Most of his relationships have been mostly physical, having had many a casual sexual relationship in the past. Dysphoria be damned, he likes to have a good time, and it's rarely a big problem when his partner is respectful of his boundaries. He thought he had found the love of his life, once when he was quite young, but it ended so messily and affected him so badly he just decided to keep things strictly physical so to speak. Whenever someone gets a little too close he freaks out and breaks up their little agreement, and in a worst case senario he just ghosts them entirely, thought that is a rare occurrence as he tries to keep things friendly at least. You kinda have to when you want to keep hanging out in the same social circles (he might have learned that the hard way when he was younger lmao).

21. How does your Tav feel about love?

He's a bit of a hopeless romantic at heart, to be honest, constantly having to catch himself catching feelings and getting just a little too into someone a little too fast. But as mentioned before he deliberately keeps people at an arms length, thinking it for the best from past experiences. Love is something he's had too little of in his life, and something he so desperately yearns for in between all his fears of it. Not just romantic love, but familiar and platonic love too. In truth he doesn't really know if true, unconditional love exists, or if it's all fairy tales and he was a fool for falling for it once. But when he's finally in a place where he feels genuinely loved, and feels safe to love in return, he's just an absolute sap about it. He tells people he loves them all the time, and it's just as scary and joyful every time. I also think it helps to have people like Gale and Karlach in his life, who are so unabashedly loud and sincere in their love for others that it makes it seem less scary.

From this Tav ask meme (Durge version)

[muntitled]

shower sex with enhypen hyung line btw i love ur work

Slippery Slopes

▪︎Summary: Shower Sex with Hyung Line

▪︎cw: established relationship, fluff, ddlg elements, nsfw, minors dni

A/n: love you for reading <3

▪︎ Heeseung | 희승

A gorgeous man with unfortunate slut tendencies who follows you into the shower almost any chance he gets. Heeseung will almost always inevitably end up inside of you when he hears the shower running. He sneaks his way into the bathroom, reaching down to pull his shirt over his head until all you could see is honey skin and an infuriating smile.

"Is there room for one more?"

"Get out."

Heeseung smiles as he crowds your naked body into the shower. You try to move away- to create a safe amount of distance but Heeseung quickly slinks his arm around your waist, pushing your tits against his chest. "It's my fucking house. I can go where I wanna go,"

Instead of dipping his head down to kiss him like you had initially hoped, Heeseung instead dips down to pull one mipple into the warmth of his mouth. He has the audacity to groan while you lose all feelings in your legs, threatening to have you hurtling to the wet floor if you weren't careful.

"I love fucking you here," he whispers, "You're already wet so there's no need for much preparation..."

▪︎ Jay | 제이

Jay takes his boyfriend duties gravely seriously. Almost as seriously as his job. You were a necessary force in his life, and so he thought nothing of it when he saw you sleepily stumbling into the bathroom.

Having failed to talk you out of showering while you were clearly exhausted- mind body and soul- Jay relented and hopped into the shower with you.

Hellbent on helping you get through your entire routine without any slip ups (or hard-ons... of which Jay was failing miserably)

He had begun by washing you, which elicited an unsatisfactory grumble from your throat. "I can do it myself Jay-" you whine in that particular octave that gives Jay both cuteness aggression, and an unspeakable wave of lust.

"I know you can," he whispers "I also know you're about to fall asleep under the showerhead. Who's gonna give you kisses if you slip and fall in the shower." You loved how he babies you. It made you feel scorching all over.

Suddenly you were wide awake.

Jay kneels down on the limestone until he is face to face with your glistening cunt. He swallows thickly, resuming his mission of scrubbing your legs and your feet.

"I know what else could help me stay awake..." You're already curling your hand into Jay's wet hair, urging him towards where you needed him most.

Jay grumbles your name in warning. His eyes pierce up at you in a wicked warning as he says, "So needy..."

But when you bring him close enough, he drops your body wash and exfoliant on the floor. Immediately dragging your cunt to his open mouth until you're being forced to ride him.

He's uncomfortable kneeling on the limestone floor but your moans and whimpers of pleasure keep him locked away in a sea of pleasure.

▪︎ Jake | 제이크

"I'm going to take a shower"

So sorry to have to type this one reader but Jake definitely, wholeheartedly looks up at you with his gigantic puppy eyes and asks "Without me?"

While you're trying to stop your eyes from rolling to the back of your skull, Jake grabs ahold of your hand, letting you lead him to the bathroom.

"This is just going to be a normal shower, Jakey-"

He nods eagerly, like a puppy far too keen in following orders. You frown as you begin to undress

"Jake, Repeat what I just said-"

"Issa normal shower, babe," but his eyes are zeroed in on your chest, his mind concocting all sorts of wicked imagery whereby those perfect tits are covered in soapy suds. It's no wonder Jake's lips are already crashing onto yours the very second you step foot in the running shower.

"Jake..." you tried to warn, but he's already backing you further into the shower, up until your back hits the limestone surface and he has you.

His hands slide over the glistening expanse of your sides, dipping down until he's hooking your leg around his waist.

"You're so fucking hot," his whispers bleed into the cacophony of the running water and your head snaps back against the limestone- now fully ready for for him.

"Don't fucking drop me-" you manage to whimper, in between Jake splaying messy kisses along your neck as he lines his cock up with your entrance.

"Hold on then," He grabs a hold of your arms, securing them behind his head as he begins to fuck you against tue wall, rough and hard, with zero restraint. His breath intermixes with yours and your eyes cross until you see nothing but absolute stars.

"Stay with me, Bunny," he whispers as he pushes your shower cap back, wiping away the myriad droplets falling into your face. All the better to see you. "Stay with me."

▪︎ Sunghoon | 성훈

It always starts off innocent with him.

Showering together is something couples do- or so Sunghoon hears from your romance dramas he conspicuously listens in on. It shouldn't be too big of a deal because you two already knew the expanse of each other's bodies. He tethered every scar, every curve and ever crevice of you to his mind, never to forget how absolutely ravishing you looked for him naked.

Yet here he is, unable to inflate his lungs even with the slightest bit of humid air.

This should be easier.

"Could you pass me the soap, Hoonie?" And perhaps, maybe there's a reality in which he could've just handed you the soap without any other slip-ups. But you asked him so politely, so perfectly, with those big eyes batting up at him as if he were God- and he absolutely lost it.

"Sunghoon... What're you-"

The words scatter when Sunghoon presses you against the wall, wrenching your legs apart before pressing one large, domineering hand against your cunt.

Sunghoon doesn't say much when he rubs your already soaking cunt with his index and middle finger. He's even quieter when he pushes those fingers in, with only the sound of running water to guide you through it.

"H-Hoon- wait- '' you pull at his wrist- already sensing the tingles of your orgasm threatening to creep up on you and have you lasting an embarrassingly short while. You keep his hand inside, choosing instead to move your hips until you're riding his fingers at your own pace.

"Fuck-" the whimper slips out of your mouth, prompting Sunghoon to shake his head lightly as he watches you come undone. "My pretty little slut..."

[moon7jay]

Omg can u do their reaction to their s/o trying to dom them ? Thanks I rlly love ur writings!! <3333

I'm sorry for being so late bb! Thank u sm for liking my works🤍

ENHYPEN HYUNG LINE REACTION TO THEIR S/O TRYING TO DOM THEM

Minors DNI

HEESEUNG

He's honestly gonna be in awe, wide eyes sparkling as he watches u straddle him and grind against him. When his hands move to touch u, u slap his hands away

"u can't do that without asking me baby" u would whisper in his ear and trust that he almost comes on the spot. He didn't know he had a single submissive bone in his body but the way u are using him for your pleasure, grinding on his dick like ur favorite dildo, moaning and throwing your head back in ecstasy, oh he's down bad honestly.

"Please put it in y/n, p-please baby" He'd start whimpering in no time. Just straight up begging u to fuck him. Loves when u take control, just loves to pleasure u every which way, doesn't matter if you're the one in control. He'll beg u like the pussy drunk freak that he is.

JAKE

Swoons. He would be so shocked when u use his belt to tie his hands behind his back, so shocked that he forgets to stop u or resist against it. Watches u nervously as u unzip his pants and undress his lower region, just playing with his dick. his hips instinctively thrust up, tip already leaking cuz something about watching u play with him is so hot. U slap his thigh to keep him still

"Be a good boy and don't cum till I say so yeah?" U say running ur tongue over his swollen cockhead and he chuckles in nerves cuz what the fuck? Good boy? But also gulps when he sees how serious u look and how much he secretly enjoys watching u like this.

He'll start crying mid way, he's not used to being edged so many times, his dick hurts so bad and u won't let him cum. Tears are falling from his eyes, your name falling from his mouth as he cums without ur permission. Poor baby was just too turned on.

JAY

Honestly he's baffled. You turned him around in the middle of sex, your hips now straddling him while u ride him cowgirl, you hold his hands above his head as u slam your hips down into him, working and swiveling your hips like you've never done before and he's in heaven. His cock throbbing in pleasure, reaching deep inside of you, watching with lust filled eyes how u slowly lose yourself in pleasure. He cums instantly but u don't stop, overstimulating his dick to the point that it's overwhelming

"Y/n-fuck, let me eat u out just-just stop"

but you're looking into his eyes and moaning out loud, his dick feels too good in u

"Be a good boy and take it"

Well, he's gonna get hard inside of you again. Aroused and throbbing beyond belief.

You are in for a long night.

SUNGHOON

Don't even try it with him. He'd watch u with a sly smile, just letting u do ur thing as u try to take control, tying his hands up on the bedpost and grinding against him, his dick nestled deep inside of you

"Beg for me" ur sweet voice would whisper and his smirk grows

"Yeah? want me to beg sweet baby?" He caresses ur cheek softly, watching in amusement at how u nod.

The next thing u know, he's turning u around, u squeal as he folds u in mating press, thrusting deep inside of your cunt. Grunting at how good u feel like this. Honestly the ties on his hands were too weak and he could have taken control before, but the way you looked so fucking adorable trying to dom him made him wait and watch.

"u r so cute baby, now be a good fucking girl and let me pound your tight pussy all night long"

[babysubinnie]

it's always you pt.3 // yang jungwon

🥚 pairing :: yang jungwon x reader 🥚 genre :: angst, emotional (as fuck i’m so sorry) 🥚 summary :: falling in love with someone that you can never confess to is the worst thing to experience, but watching him fall in love with someone else is much worse. 

part one and two here! a/n: i'm back! it's my comeback also,, it's been a while so bare with me, i'm slowly coming back but i might disappear again at some point. i wrote a pt.3 because i needed it. (this gif was the only one i could find that i liked) i'm only gonna write enha imagines from now, but feel free to send me asks!

——————————————————————————

“of course you didn’t fucking know. you only cared about the girl sitting in your room pretending to cry because y/n ‘bullied’ her. you only saw her, while y/n only saw you.” he pulled me into a hug letting me rest my head on his chest. heeseung wrapped his arms tighter around me before saying, “she was there through everything for you jungwon. everything. she never left your side. ever.” i turned my head to the side to look at jungwon then smiled weakly at him.

“it was always you, jungwon.” i lifted my head to look at heeseung, and he got the signal that i wanted to go back inside. as we were walking in, the boys were sitting at the dining table bitching about jungwon's girl. when the door opened, the boys ran up to me asking me a thousand questions.

"relax. i'm fine. i'm going to go home okay? i really don-" i smiled at the boys and handed heeseung his sweater back. he grabbed the sweater hesitantly, and when the door opened, we turned to watch jungwon as he entered.

"don't go anywhere. just stay here tonight. it started raining, and it's already late." he put his hand through his hair sighing as he walked to his room back to his girlfriend. i lifted my wrist to look at my watch. 8pm. late?

"what just happened?" niki walked in between sunghoon and jake who were standing in front of him, before grabbing both my hands.

"nothing." i knew it was a mistake to use that word when the boys all shot a nasty glare at me. i put my hands in the air and then smiled at them.

"she confessed because she was too pissed off at him, and she screamed it at him. thank god i went out when i did, she would have done worse if i didn't." heeseung spoke up for me so i didn't have to say it again, or even overexplain it.

"you what?!?" they all shouted at the same time causing heeseung to stop in his tracks while walking to the fridge to get something to drink.

"finally you told him." jake and jay bumped fists like they did something super cool then smirked at me. as we were laughing because i was being made fun of now, we hadn't realized that jungwon's door had opened and the two of them were coming out.

"wait but i don't understand, you brought me here because you said it was too late for me to go home." she whipped her head around as she was walking out of jungwon's door, gaining looks from all of us.

"stop being nosy bitches." i nudged all of them, making them look back at me. we had then continued talking, but quietly so we could listen to the drama behind us.

"yeah you're right and i'm sorry. we have a family emergency right now, and i should have realized it before i brought you over. i called you an uber. it's outside." jungwon had given her the cold shoulder. he had completely shut off, and you could hear the stress in his voice from a mile away. he walked her to the door and gave her a peck on the cheek.

"it's because of her isn't it? she's why you're kicking me out. your family emergency is all based on her isn't it?" she scoffed while keeping her eyes on me and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"and what if it is because of her? she's my priority right now, no matter what happens, she is the girl that matters most to me. i just got distracted, and i remember now. she is everything." he turned his head around to shoot me a smile before turning back to face her.

"what? she's everything? jungwon if we're going to be together, you're not going to be with her ever. if she's here, you're not. if you're here, she's not. i love you a lot and i want to be with you for a long time wonnie, so if she's going to stay, i'm not." she gave me the nastiest glare after she had put her arms around jungwon's waist. she pulled him close to her while saying this in the sweetest tone. if jungwon failed to see past the sweet tone, i don't know what the hell i would do. jake snorted under his breath at her attempt, which caused me to nudge him because I was about to start laughing too.

"he's not going to fall for that is he?" sunoo whispered into my ear and i waved my hand no, because i trust that he wouldn't. right? he reached behind him to take her arms off his waist. i knew it. i knew he wouldn't.

"then don't stay. walk out this door. she's not leaving, and if we're being honest, you would leave before she does. if you don't like the sound of that, then i don't think you should be my girlfriend." he walked past her and opened the door. he then put his other hand in his pocket before looking down at his feet.

"fuck you." she walked through the door, and turned around as she was about to step out of it. she looked me dead in the eye, holding up her middle finger at me.

"awh, that's so sweet! it was nice meeting you too!" i wiggled my fingers at her, and the boys behind me laughed their asses off when jungwon had shut the door. as we were reminiscing and laughing about her, jungwon had come up behind me faster than i had realized.

"hey y/n, can we talk?" he stood there looking the vibe of the room, to which all the boys were glaring at him.

"i don't know if that's a good idea." i had responded rubbing the back of my neck. while i was looking up at him, heeseung had walked behind me slightly pushing me over, causing me to fall into jungwon. he had opened his arms to catch me, to which now we were hugging the middle of the living room. the boys got the message, and ran into heeseung's room, which was the closest to the living room. it also just so happened to be in perfect proximity to hear everything from the living room.

i had cleared my throat and jungwon had slowly let me go, keeping his arms on my waist. i had felt a lump forming in my throat. what the hell are you doing to me jungwon? i stepped back from him to focus on the conversation we were having.

"i never knew you had feelings for me. i had always loved you of course i did, but when you started flirting with heeseung, i figured you wanted him and not me." he started going on, and when he talked about heeseung, he opened the door to say something. i turned to look at him, and the boys were pulling him back into the room. i smiled to myself then looked back at jungwon.

"did you not realize when you were having a shit day or you didn't eat, i was there? i was there whenever you were down, i was there even when it was 3 am to have a late night talk because you couldn't sleep. i drove across town to bring your favorite tteokbokki because you said you wanted it the day before." i scoffed and crossed my arms while rolling my eyes. i knew i went over the top for jungwon, heeseung always told me that i was doing too much for a boy that was completely clueless that i was in love with him.

"of course i knew you did that for me, but i thought you did that for all of them. that's why-" he started, but before he could finish i told him to stop talking.

"won, shut up. you knew that i lit up when you came into the room. i was so hopelessly in love with you that i would have done anything fo-" i laughed at how completely clueless he was. as i was ranting on, he was stepping closer to me, until he was inches away from me again. he put his arm around my waist while i was still talking, and then he spoke.

"y/n, shut up. you do realize i just told you that i was always in love with you too right?" he smiled at me while i stared at him in shock when i had registered what he was saying.

"you what?" i shook my head and he moved his face closer to mine, before pressing his lips to mine.

"i've always loved you, ass."

*secret pov*

"i only see her but she can only see him."

[jaylaxies]

okay so we all know jongseong is an expert when it comes to mirror selfies and as sumn who sucks at taking them... my mind came up with this very interesting and 😳😳 thought. jay as ur brother's friend or an acquaintance or anyone. in short u find him intimidating but so so hot and have very much feelings for him both romantic and sexual, always submissive and breedable in his presence bcs yes.

imagine him helping u out and giving u tips or guiding u on how to take a mirror pic, angling ur body and arm or wtv correctly and he's closer than required, hands lingering on ur body for longer than needed and on places that are not relevant and the touches are swift, subtle, barely there but they have u second guessing whether it's intentional or not.

and when u finally do take a somewhat decent mirror pic, his "good girl" has ur knees buckling mentally and he notices how ur body language shifts to his words and tone. that mf is absolutely smirking on the inside, leaning forward and resting his chin on ur shoulder, hand coming around to turn ur chin towards y'all's reflection "I want u to keep looking in the mirror. u can do that for me can't u?" helppp just take me right here right now idk

I'm not saying it leads to mirror sex while recording from ur phone but that's exactly what I'm saying oki byeeee

i’m also gonna say that he’d fuck you from behind and he won’t stop with just one round, he’d also love to see his cum dripping down your thighs, and for that, he’d cum inside your pretty pussy and fill you up until you can’t take it anymore.

that’s not all, it won’t stop after just one day, he’d make it a habit until you become friends with benefits and he specially replaces the ceiling wall with a mirror so you can see him when he fucks you missionary, his mouth on your tits and his cock balls deep inside your cunt.

[atinyjules]

YESTERDAY FT. JEON WONWOO

Hii! Sooo I'm gonna be honest...my cousin who I am really close with is getting married really soon so the feelings of love is very much in the atmosphere so I couldn't help but write a proposal fic for Wonwoo.

It's also an early Wonwoo Birthday special!💗🌠✨

Here you go!

Genre: Romance, proposal au established relationship, fluff, love.

Pairings: Boyfriend!Wonwoo x named reader

Warnings: Lots and lots of fluff and emotions (ps. I cried writing this)

Song recommendations: Yesterday by Jay Park

The whole of Seventeen and their spouses were currently all laugh and smiles as they celebrated the birth of their leader and best friend Seungcheol's first child, a baby boy given the name Seungbin. Seungbin was currently smiling in the arms of Hyemi, Wonwoo's girlfriend of 6 years. And from a distance in the kitchen island, Wonwoo fondly watched the love of his life cradle his leader's child ever so lovingly.

Wonwoo's

I smiled as Hyemi carefully held baby Seungbin in her arms, smiling when he reached for her face. As she continued playing with him I couldn't help but feel my heart swell at the thought of her as a mother, she'd be the best mother in the world. I was deep in my thoughts when the sound of a chair being pulled brought me back to reality.

"I could see you smiling from the back." I smiled at Mingyu's words ashe leaned on the kitchen island and looked towards Hyemi.

"If I'm being honest...you and Hyemi's love for each other keeps growing stronger and stronger with each passing year." I chuckled at Mingyu who hit my shoulder.

"Of course it'll become stronger." I said as he shook his head.

"You two have it real good...ever thought of...you know...proposing?" Mingyu asked causing my brain to shut down.

"I uh...don't really think about that too much..." I trailed and felt my face and ears heat up as Mingyu gasped.

"What? Never?.....I mean you guys have been dating for...what...4 years-5?" he asked as I shook my head.

"It's 6 years." I said as he pointed at me.

"See! You've been dating for 6 years already...maybe it's time to tie the knot?" he asked as I thought for a moment and cleared my throat.

"I don't know...if Hyemi's ready then...I'm ready really...." I trailed as Mingyu patted my back.

"Just because I said it doesn't mean the both of you have to get married...I was just recommending it since you two have been dating since high school and you guys seem to be in a really good place right now...I mean that's what me and the boys think." he said as I nodded.

"I have been thinking about it for a while now but I don't know if she's ready." I said as Mingyu patted my shoulderwith a smile.

"Well, you won't know unless you ask right? So maybe propose to her and if she's still not ready you guys can wait." he said as I took a dee breath and let it go.

"Yeah...should I propose? How do I even do it?" I asked him as he smiled and stood up.

"You have us!" he said as I felt my heart rate accelerate.

A Week Later

I found myself standing inside a jewellery boutique infront of a display case filled with all sorts of rings. With a shaky breath I let my trembling hands graze over the display case when one of the employees, an elderly woman came towards me.

"Looking for a gift for your lover?" she asked as I shook my head.

"No...I mean yes...I mean-uh...I was hoping to...uh...find a ring to...propose to my girlfriend..." I said as she gasped.

"Oh my gosh...that's amazing! Let me help you then...exactly what type of ring are you looking for?" she asked as I thought for a while.

"I uh...well...my Hyemi...she's a very loving and hardworking person...she's a really humble person so...she doesn't really like things which are over the top...she's more keen on minimalistic items...not too flashy." I said as she smiled.

"You know her tastes and preferences really well, if you're searching for a ring on the simpler side than these should be just right." she said and brought out a tray of rings with a more simpler touch to them.

I scanned through all of them only to frown when I didn't seem to like any of them. The employee must've sensed my dislike as she put them away and took out another set of rings.

"I...these rings...are really beautiful but they don't really tick the boxes..." I said as she smiled at me reassuringly.

"It's alright, not everyone finds the one they want." she said and smiled at my timidness.

"You seem really nervous." she said as I straightened up.

"I am..." I trailed as she thought for a while.

"Ah! How about you customize a ring for her? With custom rings the ideas and styles are endless. Plus, it can perfectly showcase the love and compassion you have for her." she said as I thought about it.

"Okay then...I'll customize the ring." I said and got right into work the moment I reached home.

# #

The plan was basically perfect at this point. The boys had helped with planning a special and memorable proposal which would take place a week from now at the café you both frequented since high school and it was the coincidently the place where Wonwoo confessed and took you out for your first date 6 years ago. Wonwoo thought that it was perfect since that place had become a hub for both of your sweetest memories.

With the help of Seungkwan, Jeonghan, Chan and Hoshi the boys had successfully convinced Wonwoo to make the proposal over the top by renting the whole café and decorating the place with flowers, candles, fairy lights and all the cliche set ups for the proposal. But it was when the ring arrived that Wonwoo started realizing the situation. He was finally gonna ask you the love of his life, his best friend to spend the rest of your lives together and maybe create a family of your own...its no big deal...right?

"Are you sure you're ready and not just doing this because we're pressuring you?" I glanced up from my book to look at Seungcheol who leaned on the table.

"I...I never really thought about marriage until that day..." I said thinking back to two months back making Seungcheol furrow his brows.

"When?" he asked as I smiled and remembered that day like it was yesterday.

"Two months back...it was a month prior to mom's passing...one night while Hyemi was making dinner I was in the room alone crying because I missed mom...she heard me almost immediately and came running to me. She was by my side the whole night and even cried with me..." I trailed when I felt the love I had for her that moment come back to me. I fought back my tears as Seungcheol patted my back.

"Both of you are perfect for each other..." he said and smiled as I felt my tears flow down like a waterfall.

"I...I don't want to mess this up...I love her so much-way too much. I can't imagine my world without her in it..." I trailed and wipe my tears as Seungcheol hugged me.

"Gosh, the both of you are a match made in heaven. Hyemi's like my little sister and I couldn't be any happier knowing that she has you. I know that you'll take care of her with your whole heart and soul." he said after breaking the hug.

"Hyemi's here!" We jolted the moment Naeun exclaimed making me panic and dry my eyes knowing how she gets when she sees me like this.

"Don't worry." Seungcheol said and went to greet you.

"Cheol! Hii! Is Wonwoo there?" I heard from the hallway.

"Yes, he's in the living room! You two stay there I'll get you some tea and snacks!" Seungcheol said as she agreed and I panicked when her footsteps came closer.

"There you are!" I smiled at her cheerful voice and calmed down when she wrapped her hands around me and gave me a back hug.

"I missed you." I said and returned the hug, placing my hand over hers.

"I missed you more..." she said and kissed my head.

"How was your day?" I asked as she sighed.

"Horrible! But now that you're in my arms I feel sooo much better!" she said making me curse internally when I felt my eyes glisten with tears, I cursed internally again the moment I sniffled making her worry and get down by my side almost immediately.

"Woo...what's wrong? Are you okay?" she asked worriedly and hugged me.

"Y-Yeah...c-completely fine." I trembled as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"I won't force you to tell me...but don't worry...I'm here. It's alright...it's okay." she said making me cry more. Unbeknownst to us, Seungcheol and Naeun watched us loving with tears in their eyes and proud smiles gracing their features.

"They're perfect for each other." Naeun whispered as she leaned her head on her husband's shoulder.

"They are." Seungcheol answered with a proud smile.

# #

The ride back home was quiet and the only sound was the music playing in the background as we basked in comfortable silence. After we reached home Hyemi warmed up the food and played with my hands while waiting.

"Let's go to bed early, you wouldn't want to wake up with swollen eyes on your birthday would you?" she asked making me chuckle as I shook my head.

"I wouldn't mind though...mind if I'm the big spoon tonight?" I asked as she chuckled.

"You're always the big spoon." she said making us laugh.

After doing our night routine we went straight to bed.

"I love you so much." I whispered in her ear making her giggle as she turned to press a kiss on my lips lovingly.

"Well too bad cause I love you more." she said making me smile as I positioned my face on her shoulder and held her tight.

It was 3 am in the morning and nothing could break me out of my peaceful sleep...that's what I thought until someone abrutly pulled me from my dreams by shaking me making me groan as I turned the other way.

"Wake upp!" I groaned and turned the other way and covered my face with the sheets.

"You said that I should get as much sleep as possible, why are you disturbing me?" I groaned as she continued shaking me.

"It's your birthday wake upp!" she exclaimed as I ignored her pleas and drifted off to sleep.

"Then I won't show you your gift." she said and walked away making me sigh as I got up.

"Show me-yah it's still 3 am!" I whined as she pulled me out of the bed and took me to the living room.

"What-Did you prepare all this?" I softly gasped as I put on my glasses to get a better look of the decorated living room.

"Yup, now wait here. Let me go get your cake." she said making me smile when she came back with the cake in her hands as she sang happy birthday to me.

"Now blow your candles and make a wish!" she encouraged me as I smiled and put my hands together and closed my eyes.

I wish that me and Hyemi can live a happy life together, forever.

I blew out the candles and cut the cake, taking the first bite and then I feed her the rest. After completing all the usual birthday traditions she took out a gift box and gave it to me.

"Happy birthday my love." she said as I kissed her forehead.

"You didn't have to but...thank you so much." I said as she motioned me to open it.

"Open it!" She said making me chuckle and go forward with opening the gift. After unwrapping the gift box I gasped at the large photobook.

"Me and your mother decided to make it together...we couldn't finish it together but I tried my best to incorporate her in it." she whispered as I grazed my finger through the engraved letters which read 'For our Wonwoo'.

"You...and mom?" I asked as she repeated.

"The album consists of all our sweetest and fondest memories with you..." she said as my eyes fogged with tears when I began flipping through the pages.

"This is so...beautiful..." I trailed as she smiled and rubbed my shoulder.

It was in that moment that I realised...she was the one for me. The girl who's stayed by my side our whole lives, through my best and worst moments, through thick and thin. Always taking care of me and making sure I was okay.

"Hyemi..." I trailed as I stood up with my hands in hers as I pulled her up to her feet.

"Woo?" she questioned as I went over to the cupboard and took the ring box out without her knowledge even though I took it out right in front of her. It was because I had specifically requested for the ring box to look like a book.

"I...I can't explain the love and admiration I have for you. We've known each other since our diaper days and never once have you ever given me a chance to doubt you. You're amazing, kind, sweet, loving, humble and out of this world , you're always looking out for your loved ones and I just couldn't...see myself with anybody else but you.

When mom passed...it was the darkest moment of my life and I still can't get used to her absence. But you made sure to take care of me and comfort me when I needed it the most. Mom once told me that one day I'd find someone who I couldn't live without, someone who was like oxygen to me...my life but I shrugged it off thinking that was pure fiction...something that only exists in books and movies. But...now I know...what she meant." I said and kneeled down on one knee making her softly gasp and cover her mouth as I continued.

"You proved it to me with your love and compassion. You're my whole world and I can't imagine my life without you in it. I've thought about it for a long time and I think-no...I know I'm ready so...Yoo Hyemi...will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me, an introverted idiot who is hopelessly in love with you?" I said with a smile and opened the ring box as she sobbed and tackled me into a tight hug.

"Yes, yes, yes! A million times yes!" she cried out and hugged me as I felt my eyes fog up with tears of happiness. I quickly hugged her back and twirled her around.

"I love you so much!" I exclaimed and took out the ring as she chuckled and wiped her tears, bringing her hand forward as I slipped on the ring on her finger.

"I love you more!" She exclaimed and kissed me as I melted into the kiss almost immediately and kissed her back lovingly with my left hand on her cheek and my right hand on her waist.

When I was younger...the concept of love felt like an overrated and stupid concept but meeting you changed my whole perspective of love. Love is beautiful and love is ugly but it all balances out and creates a beautiful feeling, one which I cannot describe. We fight and we hate but it's completely natural and at the end of the day we still love.

You’re the answer all my problems solved

Life with u is so beautiful

I won’t trade it away

I was lost but found my purpose now

I’m glad you’re keepin’ me around

I won’t trade it away

_______________________

Woah so I am done! It came out a little more dramatic and longer than I expected but I'm proud of this one.

So Wonwoo's birthday is around the corner and I worry I might not be able to post on his birthday so think of it as an early Birthday fic!🌠✨💗

I hope you guys enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it!

Reblogs and likes are appreciated!🌠😊

[jebewonmorelike]

If You Love Me, You'll Give Me Your Robux

wc: 587 pronouns: she/her (he/him and they/them versions below original! <3 love u fellow alphabet mafia) warnings: none; fluffy fluff :) summary: jay just won't stop playing roblox (and he never will) ~bp masterlist~  ♡ ~kofi (no pressure at all)~ hi so... starting this little adventure. i was a fanfiction writer way back in the day. like a decade ago i wrote various one direction, 5sos, and youtuber fanfics when i was 13. i'm sure some kids watching boys planet are 13 now and that is terrifying to me. anyway, i decided to try my hand at some drabbles again after a long hiatus. please send requests or asks and we can talk about boys planet and whatnot. be my friend pls. :) and also enjoy.

"Jay, can we please just go out to dinner or something already? You've been staring at that screen for hours."

You hated nagging Jay, but at this point it seemed more than necessary. Sure, he was enjoying his time off from filming Boys Planet and you were more than happy to have him home in your arms for a couple weeks before he had to leave for the second mission. But when all he wanted to do for the last 48 hours was play Roblox, you were admittedly getting bored... and a tad bit annoyed (... and the teensiest bit jealous).

Jay doesn't respond and you sigh dramatically from where you are laying on his bed, scrolling hopelessly through Instagram as you wait for your boyfriend to pay attention to you.

"Jay!" You call out to him again, but still he doesn't reply. "Jay, I swear to--."

"Who do you swear to, huh?" He says finally, turning to face you with an expectant smirk. "God is not gonna help you pry me away from Roblox. No one is capable of that."

"Could you hear me the whole time?" You ask, already knowing the answer.

He nods, sucking his teeth in contemplation. "I could. Including when you called me a--."

"Alright, alright," you cut him off with a groan. "Sorry for that. But I'm bored! You haven't seen your beautiful, perfect girlfriend in almost a month and here she is, sitting so pretty on your bed of all places and all you can do is play Roblox."

Jay just looks more amused. "You're really hyping yourself up there."

You collapse back onto his bed, completely defeated by your smartass boyfriend's annoying wit. You lie there, staring at the ceiling for a few moments before you hear Jay giggle. You feel something hit your arm and search for the culprit next to you, finally picking up what appears to be a crumpled up sticky note. 

You open it, reading what's written messily inside:

you do look perfect XD 

You turn it over to read the back:

even from this really unflattering angle you've provided me <3

"Thanks," you say reluctantly, sighing as you sit back up to look at him.

He's grinning, but your heart breaks a bit at how tired he looks. "Is it okay if I just play for the rest of today? I'm sorry it feels like I'm ignoring you. I'm just exhausted and I feel kind of sick from the time change. I'll literally be all yours tomorrow."

"Of course, Jay. I understand," you agree with a smile, making a mental note to check that he sleeps well tonight. "But aren't you always all mine?"

Jay nods at you cheekily. "Always, gorgeous."

Your boyfriend turns back to his computer, pulling his headphones back over his ears. You look at him for a few moments, admiring the view.

"Stop staring," he says abruptly with a laugh and you turn away, grabbing your laptop from your bag and flipping it open. 

A few minutes later, Jay's laugh sounds through his bedroom. You steal a glimpse to see him shaking his head and rubbing his hands across his face. "You are relentless!"

You bite your lip to keep from grinning, typing something into the Roblox chat: 

you can't escape me

i don't want to

GIVE ME ALL YOUR ROBUX

wait what no are you robbing me? babe wtf 

i love u :(

if you love me, you'll give me all your robux... 

i want the violet valkyrie ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑

for sweet he/him-using boys :)

"Jay, can we please just go out to dinner or something already? You've been staring at that screen for hours."

You hated nagging Jay, but at this point it seemed more than necessary. Sure, he was enjoying his time off from filming Boys Planet and you were more than happy to have him home in your arms for a couple weeks before he had to leave for the second mission. But when all he wanted to do for the last 48 hours was play Roblox, you were admittedly getting bored... and a tad bit annoyed (... and the teensiest bit jealous).

Jay doesn't respond and you sigh dramatically from where you are laying on his bed, scrolling hopelessly through Instagram as you wait for your boyfriend to pay attention to you.

"Jay!" You call out to him again, but still he doesn't reply. "Jay, I swear to--."

"Who do you swear to, huh?" He says finally, turning to face you with an expectant smirk. "God is not gonna help you pry me away from Roblox. No one is capable of that."

"Could you hear me the whole time?" You ask, already knowing the answer.

He nods, sucking his teeth in contemplation. "I could. Including when you called me a--."

"Alright, alright," you cut him off with a groan. "Sorry for that. But I'm bored! You haven't seen your handsome, perfect boyfriend in almost a month and here he is, sitting so magnificently on your bed of all places and all you can do is play Roblox."

Jay just looks more amused. "You're really hyping yourself up there."

You collapse back onto his bed, completely defeated by your smartass boyfriend's annoying wit. You lie there, staring at the ceiling for a few moments before you hear Jay giggle. You feel something hit your arm and search for the culprit next to you, finally picking up what appears to be a crumpled up sticky note. 

You open it, reading what's written messily inside:

you do look perfect XD 

You turn it over to read the back:

even from this really unflattering angle you've provided me <3

"Thanks," you say reluctantly, sighing as you sit back up to look at him.

He's grinning, but your heart breaks a bit at how tired he looks. "Is it okay if I just play for the rest of today? I'm sorry it feels like I'm ignoring you. I'm just exhausted and I feel kind of sick from the time change. I'll literally be all yours tomorrow."

"Of course, Jay. I understand," you agree with a smile, making a mental note to check that he sleeps well tonight. "But aren't you always all mine?"

Jay nods at you cheekily. "Always, gorgeous."

Your boyfriend turns back to his computer, pulling his headphones back over his ears. You look at him for a few moments, admiring the view.

"Stop staring," he says abruptly with a laugh and you turn away, grabbing your laptop from your bag and flipping it open. 

A few minutes later, Jay's laugh sounds through his bedroom. You steal a glimpse to see him shaking his head and rubbing his hands across his face. "You are relentless!"

You bite your lip to keep from grinning, typing something into the Roblox chat: 

you can't escape me

i don't want to

GIVE ME ALL YOUR ROBUX

wait what no are you robbing me? babe wtf 

i love u :(

if you love me, you'll give me your robux...

i want the violet valkyrie ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑

for nonbinary folx that use they/them pronouns :)

"Jay, can we please just go out to dinner or something already? You've been staring at that screen for hours."

You hated nagging Jay, but at this point it seemed more than necessary. Sure, he was enjoying his time off from filming Boys Planet and you were more than happy to have him home in your arms for a couple weeks before he had to leave for the second mission. But when all he wanted to do for the last 48 hours was play Roblox, you were admittedly getting bored... and a tad bit annoyed (... and the teensiest bit jealous).

Jay doesn't respond and you sigh dramatically from where you are laying on his bed, scrolling hopelessly through Instagram as you wait for your boyfriend to pay attention to you.

"Jay!" You call out to him again, but still he doesn't reply. "Jay, I swear to--."

"Who do you swear to, huh?" He says finally, turning to face you with an expectant smirk. "God is not gonna help you pry me away from Roblox. No one is capable of that."

"Could you hear me the whole time?" You ask, already knowing the answer.

He nods, sucking his teeth in contemplation. "I could. Including when you called me a--."

"Alright, alright," you cut him off with a groan. "Sorry for that. But I'm bored! You haven't seen your gorgeous, perfect partner in almost a month and here they are, sitting so stunningly on your bed of all places and all you can do is play Roblox."

Jay just looks more amused. "You're really hyping yourself up there."

You collapse back onto his bed, completely defeated by your smartass boyfriend's annoying wit. You lie there, staring at the ceiling for a few moments before you hear Jay giggle. You feel something hit your arm and search for the culprit next to you, finally picking up what appears to be a crumpled up sticky note. 

You open it, reading what's written messily inside:

you do look perfect XD 

You turn it over to read the back:

even from this really unflattering angle you've provided me <3

"Thanks," you say reluctantly, sighing as you sit back up to look at him.

He's grinning, but your heart breaks a bit at how tired he looks. "Is it okay if I just play for the rest of today? I'm sorry it feels like I'm ignoring you. I'm just exhausted and I feel kind of sick from the time change. I'll literally be all yours tomorrow."

"Of course, Jay. I understand," you agree with a smile, making a mental note to check that he sleeps well tonight. "But aren't you always all mine?"

Jay nods at you cheekily. "Always, gorgeous."

Your boyfriend turns back to his computer, pulling his headphones back over his ears. You look at him for a few moments, admiring the view.

"Stop staring," he says abruptly with a laugh and you turn away, grabbing your laptop from your bag and flipping it open. 

A few minutes later, Jay's laugh sounds through his bedroom. You steal a glimpse to see him shaking his head and rubbing his hands across his face. "You are relentless!"

You bite your lip to keep from grinning, typing something into the Roblox chat: 

you can't escape me

i don't want to

GIVE ME ALL YOUR ROBUX

wait what no are you robbing me? babe wtf 

i love u :(

if you love me, you'll give me your roblux...

i want the violet valkyrie ( •̀ᴗ•́ )و ̑̑

[orangeoctopi7]

New season of Ninjago! I'm currently six episodes in.

(also I'm writing this the morning after I watched these episodes so my thoughts might be out of order)

Awkward teenage Riyu design is cute, but in that awkward, mid-stage pokemon evolution way.

"Intelligent George" is just every adult Ninjago fan on YouTube throwing around theories over the last year.

Sorry Lloyd, prophetic dreams of doom run in the family.

Hey, wait a sec. You know who else has prophetic dreams? Why are you not going to Zane with this?

Please give Arin a "you don't need powers to be powerful" arc.

All this talk of shattering all the good inside someone is reminding me of a certain other spell used to remove all the goodness from Garmadon back in season 8, but I doubt they're actually meant to be connected.

Slightly disappointed that the pink Serpentine isn't Skales' wife.

Euphrasia couldn't take on the master of Smoke, the elemental master she probably has the best type match up against? I don't wanna sound like one of those fans, but jeez, Morro would have destroyed this guy.

The Kai-Nya siblings dynamic continues to be on point.

Wyldfyre continues to be the best character.

I was honestly expecting Sora's fear dream to be more of the same insecurities we saw from her last season, but she actually has moved past that and now she's afraid of having to go back to Imperium. I was pleasantly surprised by that.

Oof, Nya's dream is giving me so many feels. This is foreshadowing, isn't it?

"Jay would never forget me. And even if he somehow did, he'd never be this calm and collected about a stranger coming up and hugging him."

Oh. Oh, we're not seeing Wyldfyre 's fear dream? Oh, she doesn't want to talk about it? *Rubbing hands together* I think we're gonna get some backstory and lore here!

*Bonzle to Cole and Geo* "You are my da-ads. You're my dad's. Boogie Woogie Woogie."

Suddenly Basketball

Ah, the dragon masters. The fact that dragons can learn spinjitzu honestly makes sense to me, all the way back in the pilot, I thought the way the dragons spun around in order to travel to the other realms was obviously related to Spinjitzu.

I like that Rontu is basically just a typical gym coach in dragon form.

Egalt, on the other hand... Well, I do really like his design. But man, he's just every bad "teaching" method from Wu rolled into an even grumpier old man. Talking down to his students, constantly being negative instead of giving positive reinforcement, no clear instructions, giving no answers or even hints to Arin's question, nothing! Maybe I care about this more than other people because I've worked as a teacher on and off for years, but even when I first started watching the show, back when I was still in college, I was already noticing these things about Wu and they already bothered me.

Anyway, calling it now, the students from "last time" Egalt keeps vague-ing were Wu and Garmadon, and Wu learned all his bad "teaching" methods from this guy.

Bonzle being a living spell is weird, but honestly not that out of the question for a crazy fantasy world like Ninjago.

Ok, so I'm going to break the first rule of enjoying Ninjago and think about the timeline. Judging by what Wu said, I'm guessing Bonzle ran into him some time early in season 2? And when did all this with the Forbidden Five happen?

Anyway, very excited to see where this is going, if only I didn't have to work today.

[jupiter--dream]

what discoveries have you made since the 2021 ghostkin / cloudkin post ? :p

Omg hi! Little warning for a ramble that might sound incoherent and "weird" to people who don't know how to have fun lol /lh (aka: I'm talking about my non-humanness, lol)

Warning! this gets VERY long, VERY specific and personal (not in a vent way, but in a "I'm rambling about myself" kind of way), and, somehow, incredibly scientific. Like, actually talking about a physics phenomenon and chemical reaction. I don't know, but yk how it is lol, I may be cringe but I am free

Well! I am indeed cloudkin and Ghostkin; rather, I've realized that I mostly feel like a cloud-looking spirit of sorts, inhabiting a human body if you will. I know some of my features (antlers, fangs, multiple eyes and dots and markings) but they're slightly shifting since my form isn't stable in itself!

Also, I know I'm fictionkin to some degree... Except I'm... not? See, I'm part of a system. I keep referring to myself as otherkin instead of just being a non-human sysmate because, despite this not being everyone's experience (completely valid), I technically "am" "the one that was here before the others""", rather, I was just here pre syscovery even if I know I've been plural for longer than that; but I felt so at home with kin terms that they felt right to use even when I don't see many systems referring to their individual members as X-kin. However, I did eventually realize that my connection to a certain character (I'd hide who it is... But I post about Dream sans on an almost daily basis and they've been the mental representation of myself for about five years now, like. They're me) but it didn't feel like being fictionkin to me; I AM some sort of introject, a semi-fictive I'd say. Plus Dream is a little ball of golden energy inhabiting a skeleton body... And so am I, a golden-looking spirit inside a body! So I'm ghost/cloudkin, galaxykin (simply because of the shifting nature and because my mind always feels so -vast-, like my body's too small to contain it, and it felt right to think of myself as a galaxy, and it was a good metaphor until it was just... intrinsically tied to who I am) and starkin for similar reasons (glowing mass of continuous chemical reactions... Me relating myself to chemistry doesn't end here, keep reading and you'll notice lol)

Stupidly enough, because this is so specific and no one ever seems to talk about stuff like this, one of the things I've realized about myself is what I'm made of; as in, which chemical-

It's something I've known for a while, before I went by Júpiter I went by Jay because I knew I wanted a name that started with J bc J and Q are the only letters not in the periodic table and I was like "oh, my name starts with J because I'm the missing element"; and then way before I had my gender figured out, the easiest way to explain my feelings was to talk about myself in pokemon types... I'd be a ghost/poison type, something about poison types always made me relate in a way? fitting lol

I think I had a huge species euphoria moment when we did the gold rain experiment (link leads to page explaining how to do the experiment) in my lab class. To put it simply, it is a mix of lead nitrate and potassium iodide that crystalizes, and then forms this snowball kind of effect, it looks like THIS:

I don't know, the mix of something looking so glittery, yet being so toxic (8g of lead nitrate are enough to kill you lol) made me go OMG ME

I want to also add that as a physics student + chemistry enthusiast, me feeling species euphoria from physics/chemistry concepts extends to more; for example I learnt about the De Broglie wave length and I haven't been normal ever since... idk how to properly explain it, so here's the wikipedia definition lol, shorter than what I was gonna write: "Matter waves are a central part of the theory of quantum mechanics, being half of wave–particle duality. At all scales where measurements have been practical, matter exhibits wave-like behavior. For example, a beam of electrons can be diffracted just like a beam of light or a water wave." And I don't know how to explain the inherent non-human euphoria I got being "related" to waves like light; like, yes!! I feel more incorporeal and more wave-like! I'm a ghost! Of course my specific properties aren't really "realistic" but come on, no one's trying to (dis)prove my existence.

I think I've just become very comfy in being non-human since 2021, maybe it's because my partner is also non-human and we've related a lot to each other in that regard; I just do the things that make me happy about it. I hide in bed with my prized possessions, makes me incredibly happy in an animalistic kind of way!

Other people find where they came from, who they were at some point. Personally, I do not have a spiritual past related to my non-humanity, I am a creature inhabiting a human body, so I don't have hearthomes or kin memories... I have weirdly specific attachments to physics concepts (part of the reason I must study physics, I need to understand the world on a deeper, non-human level) and feel euphoria over the weirdest shit lmfao

[twistednuns]

September 2024

Being the first one up in a quiet house. Sitting outside journalling, enjoying French sea salt butter and passion fruit jam on toasted pieces of baguette. The view of the sea. Painting, reading, a nap. Vacation mode.

The familiarity of it all. The house, the area, the people.

Snorkelling in Les Issambres with C. Trying to snatch away stones from octopus tentacles. Hanging out on the SUP together. Many cute kisses here and there (C. was in a very good mood).

Learning to communicate a little better. Slowly, slowly.

French supermarkets. The greedy first day haul.

Working on a mixed media painting which turned out useful for Trypophobia exposure therapy. I kinda like the depth of it though and the interesting shapes I created.

A chubby restaurant cat called Patate at Pampelonne Beach. I secretly call her Chonkita. She was very happy about my scritches!

An amusing sight: the lady in St. Tropez who was walking through town with a pack of about ten tiny dogs.

Little intimate moments with C. Analysing my friends and my relationship to them. Also: the realization that a chapter is closing. That I'm ready for something new that'll be so much more what I need.

A trip to Grasse. Walking through the medieval old town, visiting the perfume museum, shopping at Fragonard (I got a hand-marbled oversized shirt in earthy colours). Iced cappuccino with flower petals at Café Fleur. Eating a rich and delicious Galette in Fréjus.

The gorgeous light and shadow pattern on all of us when we were having drinks at the beach.

Driving through the back country to eat at a fabulous little restaurant by the sea. I had a three-course-menu: summer truffle burrata with roasted nectarines, zucchini filled with black olive tapenade (with puree, breadcrumbs, chickpeas and salad) and a delicious pistachio semifreddo with balsamic prunes.

Getting everything I want at the supermarket so I have a few kitchen souvenirs that'll make me smile when I think back to this summer.

Strawberry-flavoured sparkling water. The Maison Perrier x Magnetic Juice water in strawberry/kiwi is such a delight.

And, a final delight on the way back: a large cappuccino and a box of tiny Pocket Coffees at Autogrill.

Desperate measures after a weekend hiding in bed, trying extra hard to pretend not to exist: an evening at Therme Bad Wörishofen with Manu. Drinking a strawberry cocktail in the warm pool. Talking, no pretense.

The jay (Garrulus glandarius) I keep seeing behind my house. I just looked up its meaning and apparently it's connected with accepting responsibility for yourself and mustering up the courage to master a hard test. There are so many signs reaching me at the moment. Teachings about personal responsibility in the Gestalt therapy book I'm reading. Instagram bombarding me with messages about Eclipse Season and that something old has to go in order to make room for the life I've always wanted. It's slowly starting to sink in but I'm still so afraid. Stuck with my insecurity, between different needs and feelings. Inside a contradiction between safety and sensibility on the one hand, taking a risk and stepping into freedom and my full potential on the other.

A hit of nostalgia when I heated up the milk for my cereal. It was soggy and disgusting but reminded me of my childhood.

Realizing that I've never seen the last season of The Umbrella Academy!

I have very cute and supportive friends. Who tell me how talented I am and that something better is waiting for me at the other end of this crisis.

Making a decision. Seeing psychiatrists. Informing my headmaster. This is the beginning of a transformation and it's not gonna feel nice for a while but I'm sure it'll be worth it. I'm excited about what comes next.

Little trinkets: a glass bottle with a round wooden lid, a green glass candlestick holder, and a yellow T-shirt.

Spending a few days at Christian's place. Staying in my comfort zone. Honest communication and support.

Baking a buttery mirabelle cake. Sharing it with a few neighbours at the garden table.

Feline affection: The orange cat who was waiting for me outside the doctor's office. All that crazy Findus energy. And cuddling with Charlie who was sleeping inside the little blanket fort in the garden.

Going on a little bike tour through the forest on a beautiful afternoon with golden light. It smelled of moss and mushrooms. And I couldn't resist squeezing a few Impatiens seed pods, of course.

Reading a great book about the origin of Gestalt therapy. Analyzing my own process.

Spending an afternoon in Munich with C. and L. We went to the Archeological museum and Haus der Kunst where we had a snack at Goldene Bar and then I saw the exhibitions alone. Of course I found an interesting book about Marina Abramović at the bookstore there.

Productive procrastination. Observing myself in my avoidance of hard tasks and difficult feelings. Self-compassion.

Finding a small book about sleep, dreams and the night on a park bench. Cutting out poems and illustrations.

Birthing a chestnut from its spiky uterus.

Meeting Madeleine, a Gestalt therapist who works with somatic techniques, voice and breathing. I felt seen and I think we have a very similar approach to healing. She said that self acceptance might be something she could help me with. I'm curious and excited about working together.

Primavera Energiekick spray. It smells so good. I got it in an esoteric store after my first Gestalt Therapy session along with a tiny golden Om ornament. A few houses down I also discovered a little Indian shop and got two pictures of Kali/Durga. My last treat: three stalks of yellow and dark red Chrysanthemum.

My first meditation in a while. I actually craved it. I looked into the mirror, moved my hips, felt the need to turn inwards and connect with myself. I felt gratitude, joy, safety, confidence. Now I'm trying to reprogram my brain to get rid of my negativity bias and addiction to suffering.

Being helpful: translating something for a Chinese family at the supermarket. And forgetting about myself for a moment to be there for others: genuinely caring for Lucie, asking about how she felt after her cold - and leaving it at that. Not forcing my own problems on others for once.

Back on track: returning to yoga and choir practice after the summer break even though I already had two appointments in the afternoon.

Waking up energized with a desire to move.

Making coconut rice pudding with chunky mango cubes.

A vision that came to me during savasana: a cluster of luminous white diamond shapes and sparkles against a dark background. I wonder if I could paint what I saw or use it as inspiration at least.

Visiting Becki and Janina in Augsburg. A staredown with their cat Leo. Their gorgeous apartment and the tea book that Becki co-authored.

An evening dedicated to tantric rituals at Lachdach Pling. It was different than expected but a lovely event nevertheless.

Cat therapy. Having Findus lying on my chest, purring. It feels so soothing and nice.

The sickly summer lilac I planted in Christian's garden actually started to bloom again!

[feverinfeveroutfic]

love is not enough | chapter six

“So, you wanna sneak us into the venue when your band plays in Paris?” 

It was a few minutes after midnight, and he had returned to the proverbial safe spot with Q right at his back. All the while, he had to look over his shoulder to ensure that she wasn’t about to pinch the seat of his pants. She flicked her tongue at him with every glimpse back at her, as if she was actually Medusa herself for a fiery, molten inferno of a gaze back at him. Every single time, his heart skipped a few beats. 

Once they stepped back into the room, and they found Jay standing there by the bathroom door wrapped in a blood red silk bathrobe and with a towel curled upon her head to keep her long dark hair off her neck to better dry, he stopped right in his tracks at the sight of her there before him. 

“Am I in the Playboy Mansion?” he asked aloud, and the two of them giggled at that. 

“Nah, this is gonna be better than that big house,” Jay promised him as she tightened the belt of her robe. 

“We were just discussing pie,” Q told her as she shut the door behind her. 

“Ooh! What kind of pie?” Jay asked her. 

“All kinds,” he replied with a gentle little rub of his hands together. “Fresh outta the oven with a little dollop of whipped cream on top.” 

“Let me ask you, big fella,” Jay began with one hand pressed to her hip. “Do you prefer apple or cherry?” 

He squinted his eyes at her, complete with his hands before him as if he was about to say a prayer for the two of them. 

“Why do you ask that, my dear darling Jay?” he started with a slight fluttering of his eyelids at her. 

She shrugged her shoulders. 

“I dunno,” she answered. “I just think of—the three of us and also the fact that I feel like we’re all playing with fire with each other. The feeling that we’ve busted some—cherries—and we’re eating the forbidden fruit as well.” 

“The bite of the apple,” he remarked as he ever so slowly slid his hands together. Q then ducked past him for the bathroom. Once the door was shut, he turned to Jay with his eyelids hooded and his lips ever so slightly upturned into a little smile for her. 

“That was intentional, wasn’t it?” he asked her with a little gyration of his head towards her, to which she shrugged her shoulders. She reached up and unraveled the towel right off her head, and she let her hair fall forth all around her head, the sides of her neck, and shoulders. She lay the towel on the bed next to her, and she put her hands underneath her dark hair as if she was posing for a magazine shoot. He flashed her a smirk and raised his hands up as if he was preparing to take her photograph. 

“I bet you’d like a slice of my pie,” she teased him, to which he cracked her a smile and bowed his head like a schoolboy who had just heard something tasty. 

“Now, what would make you think of that, my ravishing adult film star?” he teased her back. 

“It’s just the conversation about pies and everything is all,” she said with a shrug of her shoulders. She ran her fingers through her dark hair and tilted her head back a bit so he could see the inside of her neck as well as her wrist. 

“Your partner in crime and I were talking about playing strip chess a little while ago,” he told her as he lingered closer to her. 

“Weirdly enough, there’s a chess set right here under the bed,” she noted, and he raised his eyebrows at that. 

“Really?” he asked her. 

“Yeah. Yeah, really. I'm serious.” 

He clapped his hands together. “C’mon, let’s see it.” 

“You wanna—?” she asked him with a little chuckle. 

“Yeah, I wanna! I wanna so badly.” 

“How badly we talking?” she asked him. 

“Pretty badly.” 

“Say it like you mean it, big boy.” 

“Pretty badly!” he insisted with his arms out on either side of him. 

“Say it like you mean it!” she declared. 

He fell to his knees before her, and he held his hands before him as if he was begging for mercy. 

“Come on—” she teased him, and she couldn’t resist the smile on her face, and neither could he. “Say it. Say it and say it well!” 

He bowed forward and extended his arms before him as if he was saying a prayer to her. 

“I want it so—” He gritted his teeth and pinched his eyes shut. “—fucking—” He opened his eyes and gazed up at her and Q, who had joined her right next to her. “—badly.” 

“Well, it’s not often we make a boy beg for mercy, Q,” Jay told her. 

“It really isn’t, Jay,” Q quipped right then. The former crouched down before him and reached underneath the bed for something. She took out a square object out from behind a shoebox tucked under there as well. The object turned out to be a plain black box: when she opened the lid, they were met with a checkerboard the same size as the base of the box and a felt bag filled up with those chess pieces. 

The two girls knelt down before him, and he lifted himself up onto his hands as if he was about to do a push-up for them. 

“That’s no chess set,” he scoffed. “This is like… the discount thing you find at the dollar store. Plus, look—there are a couple of pieces missing. We can’t do chess if the queens are missing.” 

Jay raised her eyebrows at that. Q flashed her a knowing smile. 

“Could you repeat that, big boy?” the former asked him in a low voice. 

“We can’t do chess if the queens are missing,” he said again, that time in a softer tone of voice. “Let’s get an actual chess set.” 

“Do you any places that are open this time of night that sell brand-new chess sets, though?” Q asked him, to which he shook his head. 

“The night’s still young, though,” Jay pointed out. 

“I kinda bowed down to you, too,” he said with a slight pout of his bottom lip to them. 

The two of them showed knowing glances at one another once again. 

“Jay, do you have your lipstick nearby here?” Q asked her. 

“Yeah, it’s in my little bag right back here on the nightstand,” Jay replied. “It’s the dark red leather one with a little black heart embroidered on the side.” She cracked her a little smile. “Why? You want me to go full adult film star on the two of you?” And he licked his lips at the sound of that. 

“I think we’re hungry over here,” Q said with a sly smirk on her face and a nod over to him. 

“I think we are,” Jay echoed her with a flash of her eyebrows. Q then made her back towards the nightstand between the two beds for that leather bag in question. 

She then returned with two containers of lipstick in either hand, a brown one that belonged to her and a dark red wine-colored one that belonged to Jay. 

“Here are your queens, big guy,” she told him as she set the sticks down on the chess board. He swallowed at the sight of Jay’s lipstick right before him. Q set her own lipstick down on the board next to the black plastic king before them. 

“Tomorrow, we’ll look for a chess board of our own,” Jay assured him with a wink. “The rules are as follows: you lose a piece and you have to strip off a piece of clothing. Whoever checks the king has to take off their underwear.” 

“And checkmate?” he asked her, to which she showed him her tongue again. 

“We’ll leave that up for interpretation.” 

He lifted himself up and took a seat onto his knees before them: his hair sprawled down over his shoulders and the little plume of gray upon his head stood high like a wisp of smoke. The two of them glanced at one another like a couple of devils ready to give him the dance of his life through the pits of hell around them. 

“Ladies first,” he told them in a low, husky voice. 

Jay moved the black pawn towards him. He showed her a little smile as he moved the gray pawn before him as well. 

The next black pawn forth. Then his gray pawn. 

Next thing they all knew; their pawns were out in front. 

“Well,” he muttered with a nudge of his hair back with a flick of his fingers. 

“Well?” Q asked him. He moved the pawn at the right center in a diagonal direction and took one of their black ones. 

“Phew, you know what? Just for that—” Jay moved the bishop forth and took his pawn, to which he gaped at her. 

“Which means we both have to strip,” Q said. 

“What do you mean, ‘we’?” he demanded with a little chuckle. “Jay was the one who moved it.” 

“Oh, she’s just wearing a bathrobe,” Q pointed out. 

“So?” 

“So? Well, if she takes that thing off, show’s over.” 

“Oh, I see,” he taunted her with another flash of his eyebrows. He then held onto the bottom hem of his shirt and peeled it off right before them. He lay it off to the side and ran his hand down his chest and his stomach: the two of them followed his hand down his front, all the way down to his belly button and the soft flesh around his waist as well as the waistband of his jeans. 

“What a beautiful body,” Jay remarked in a hushed voice as Q took off her blouse as well. He raised his eyebrows at the faint scars over her hips as she lay the top off to the side as well. 

He pointed his direction back to the chessboard with his lips pursed together and one corner of his mouth upturned in a sly little smirk. He hooded his eyes at the two of them. 

“Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would be playing a game of strip chess with not one, but two girls,” he declared in a low voice. He picked up the knight on the left and moved it in that “L”-shaped curve forth. 

“That’s your move?” Q teased him, and she moved another pawn forth to take another one from him. 

“Get down with it, big fella,” Jay commanded. 

“Just the belt or my pants altogether?” he asked them, and they glanced at one another. 

“The belt,” they said in unison. He gave his hair a little toss back, and he set his hands on his belt and unbuckled it right before their eyes, still down on his knees. It took him a second to realize that Jay's dark eyes were examining his belly button as well as his hands. He hesitated for a second before he took the end of the belt out from underneath the buckle and let it lay out before him. She ran her tongue along her upper lip as if she wanted a taste of him right then and there. 

He moved his hands back to behold the view of his waist for them as well as the button on his jeans. He then picked up the knight for a swipe of one of their pawns. 

Q swallowed at the sight of that as well as the tip of his tongue in the corner of his mouth, as if he, too, wanted a taste. 

“My bra or my pants?” she asked him in a soft voice. 

“Whatever you want, sexy mama,” he told her in a near whisper. 

She showed him her tongue as she reached behind her back and unhooked her bra for him. He parted his lips and let out a low whistle. 

“Sexy mama, is that what you called her?” Jay chuckled. 

“Yeah. And you’re hot mama.” 

She raised her eyebrows at that; Q lay her bra off to the side. 

He squinted his eyes at them as he moved his knight in another curve: another curve away and he would snatch either the lipstick or their king. Jay moved the bishop again, that time for his rook. 

“Oh ho!” he laughed. “I can’t believe I didn’t see that coming. That was smooth!” 

“Belt off, big boy,” she teased him, and he showed off his tongue again. He held onto the buckle and slid the belt right out from the loops. He took his legs out from underneath him and propped himself up as if he was about to have a photoshoot for himself. 

He could see Jay breathing harder as he cocked his hip out a bit: some of his black hair dangled down over his shoulder onto his chest. Q’s bare exposed nipples poked out for him. 

“Is it the Playboy Mansion in here or the place where they meet up for Playgirl?” he asked them in a low, husky voice. 

“I don’t think there’s a place for Playgirl,” Jay confessed. “At least, I don’t think so.” 

“There should be,” Q declared. 

“Yeah, right here,” he said with a straight face. He reached across the chessboard for his knight and swiped the lipstick. 

“Checkmate?” Q asked aloud. 

“Nope,” Jay said. “He’ll have to move his knight around a bit, but his bishop is within the line of sight for the king, though.” She raised her gaze up to him and the way that he bowed his head towards her and his shoulder pinned up to the side of his face. Those deep eyes stared back at her: he was utterly smoldering, complete with those black locks all around his head and shoulders. The gray plume seemed to bloom across his head like a big artery of silver embedded in the earth right below their feet. 

“Let me touch you,” she declared as she unraveled the belt around her waist and opened up her bathrobe for him. He parted his lips and raised his eyebrows up as he gazed on at her nearly nude body: the only thing she wore was a little black lace bra with the nipples cut out and matching boy shorts. He took a second glance down at the space between her thighs and he saw that the crotch was missing from those shorts. 

“Touch me all you want,” he blurted out to the two of them in a broken voice. 

Q scuttled around the chessboard just so she met up with him there; Jay lunged across the board for him. He parted his lips and closed his eyes as the two of them swarmed over his body in the form of soft gentle touches and sweet kisses on the sides of his neck. He cracked them a smile as they felt up his body and down into his jeans together. They both fondled the shaft of his dick while he still had pants on, together. 

He let out a low whistle as their fingers crept along the sides towards the head and back towards his body for double the stimulation. 

“I dunno ‘bout you girls but I’m looking forward to going to Paris with the band and all,” he told them, still in a husky voice. 

“Are you going to sneak us in still?” Q asked him. 

“I’ll try my best,” he vowed. “I really want you girls with me.” 

“What if we get caught, though?” Jay followed it up as she slowed up the touches on him. 

“I could say that the two of you are my girlfriends but I don’t know how they would react to that, though,” he confessed. 

“Girlfriends, plural,” Q followed along, and she gave him a kiss on the side of the neck once again. 

“You think we could do a little poly thing here between us?” Jay chuckled. 

“A little polyamory?” he sputtered, and his heart skipped a beat yet again, especially when Q slipped her fingertip into the hole at his head. 

“Yes! We don’t necessarily have to be in a three-way relationship with one another, but we also are. He gets to have two girls at the same time, Q.” Jay pointed her thumb towards him. 

“Two girls at the same time and then some,” Q joked, and then her facial expression turned serious. “But we still haven’t resolved the elephant in the room, though.” 

“Yeah, I don’t know how the airport people are going to react to polyamory,” Jay remarked with a knitting of her eyebrows; she propped herself up next to him so she could look down into his face and the thick black curls spread out from the crown of his head, a spilled inkwell with a pair of glimmering diamonds on the side that gazed back up at her with infernal lust. 

“Do you have any ideas, big fella?” she asked him, slightly concerned. He sighed through his nose and brought his gaze to the ceiling overhead. He pictured them walking through the airport together, only to be stopped by the customs people as well as the TSA agents throughout there. There was also the tidbit of being stopped by his own bandmates with the jokes about his having a pair of girls on his arms rather than one. 

But then again, he was the lead guitarist. He was hot, and he knew it and they all knew it as well. 

The two of them gazed on at him with a baffled expression on each of their faces. 

“We’ll think of something,” he assured them. “Better yet, I’ll think of something.” He turned his attention over to Jay right there right next to him. “By the way, when there’s polyamory involved, and I get to have two girls, does that mean—” He raised his eyebrows at that. 

“Yes,” Jay replied with a chuckle. “Yes, it does.” 

Q laughed and bowed her head at the very thought, and he showed them the tip of his tongue like a snake himself. 

“Man, I really am the luckiest dude right now,” he remarked. “And I'm not even in the Playboy Mansion, either.” 

“It’s gonna be more Hustler than Playboy, big boy,” Jay promised him with a little tap of the tip of his nose. She kissed him on the side of the neck and fondled him some more, and he let out a low moan from the feeling. 

“I think I'm gonna come, ladies,” he groaned out. 

“Come inside your pants, that’s gotta be a new one,” Q remarked. 

“Oh, there he is!” Jay laughed, and she gave her hair a toss back with a flick of her head, which in turn showed off more of her exposed nipples to him. He parted his lips and let out another low moan, especially as the two of them only made his orgasm rise higher and higher. He swore that he was going to explode when he could feel it inside of his underwear. 

“Oh, jeez—oh, god—oh, god—” 

“It’s nothing a little tissue can’t fix,” Jay assured him as she put her bare nipples right into his face. He closed his eyes and let out another soft moan as the euphoria consumed him. Both girls lay down on top of him, still with their hands down his pants. And they would still be down his pants once they awoke in about an hour before they lay in only one of the beds together. 

At least the floor was clean. 

[auto-pause-me]

So my first post is going to be about VAGINAL DRYNESS! Go me. And my vagina.

The lack of self made vag lube is a thing for perimenopause and it sucks. And not in the nice way. Now vaginas are amazing. They bring pleasure, they're self cleaning, direct babies into the world and can even be turned inside out to make a penis. I do recommend a medical professional for that last one.

However, as an autistic person, being aware of changes in my vagina can be a thing I HAVE to think about. Generally, autists have to work harder on being aware of their bodies. I know I definitely have more than one occasion a week where suddenly I'm aware of being at the knicker wetting stage of needing the loo... usually followed by thinking "how the fuck have I not noticed?" And reminding myself that this is an autistic thing.

The thing is, being aware of my vagina is also tremendously important for vagina health. And my vagina has been good to me, so I'd better be good back. I have no intention of not having orgasms after my periods have stopped, and a healthy vulva is essential for that.

The other thing is, if I'm not aware of when I'm busting a gut to release my pee, I probably could be more aware of my downstairs lubrication. Not gonna lie, this is a thing I have, pre perimenopause, been working on. A tracking app and setting a routine for it really helped me to understand where I was at in my cycle, how those hormone changes impacted my moods, and how my vagina communicated where I was at in my cycle. Still got those days of :has my period started, or are my downstairs lips rather more sloppy than usual, because you know, my Vah Jay Jay loves to make me panic.

However, here are some things they DON'T tell you about your vagina and its wettness in perimenopause, that are of note if you're an autistic person:

You might not notice just how dry it's become:

Personally, my big wake up call to this was having a wipe, after a wee. And then screaming out loud because I thought I'd accidentally managed to rip my left inner labia off with sodding loo roll. Or the time I felt really uncomfortable, and I thought I needed a little scratch of an itch* only for my nail to actually scratch me. When bodily awareness is something you have to work on, vaginal dryness should be pretty high on the priority list.

You might have a hell of a time finding the right lube

Especially if sensory processing is a huge thing for you.

Lubes vary greatly in smell, taste, texture, how they react to our skin and how they dry. Some dry sticky as fuck, and take all the fun out of having 2 extra sets of lips between your legs. Think chub rub, but localised around one of the areas of your body with the most nerve endings.

I can't give much advice here, other than doing what I did, and spend an absolute fuck ton trying a load of different ones. I've still not found one that I like enough to buy again. I might make a post about lubes, but then again I'm want to forget, so I might not.

They also don't really come in a keep in your pocket or bag size containers (as far as I'm aware). What a gap in the market for a small, discreet little bottle to take on the go. It would be extra convenient for on the go quickies too, but I digress.

And here's a Really Important Thing ™️ please don't use coconut oil on your garden of pleasure. Coconut is a great anti fungal and a good anti bacterial. Enough to play merry havoc with all of the good tiny little life forms down there and cause some nasty infections. Think thrush or bacterial vaginosis. Please use a search engine if you don't know what these are. Please. If you do, don't berate me for directing people with less knowledge than you to finding some stuff out.

It's going to fuck up all the routine and things your used too about your cycle.

No more: ah, I have the contents of a chicken egg, minus the yolk in my undies, so clearly I'm ovulating. No wonder I look hot and feel horny. Nope, it's I'm horny as fuck, my period tracking app says I'm ovulating but bloody hell, I'm tighter than the British government deciding on funding to local authorities. And you know how us auties don't like unpredicted change.

If your sensory processing challenges include your clothes, your bum covers are about to add a whole other level.

So, the peri/menopause also likes to pop a couple of piles around your arsehole. If your vagina has taken a holiday to the Atacama and brought back souvenirs, it's not helpful if your arsehole is popping out, hoping to join in. So I actually prefer wearing thongs / tangas / g strings when I'm not gushing out the lady cream. I can use a smaller gusset, and not have a visible panty line. The piles fucking make sure that's a no go. However as some one who regularly wears my underwear instead out (because labels, often leave a seem if cut out, also seams that are a part of pant construction in the crotch area, are the devil's work), one you've notice you're having a dry day, suddenly all pants are grim.

I saw menopause pants in bloody pradamark as well. Very specifically marketed for hot flushes, but not the sate of one's vulva. I made a face. Everyone is so fucking clueless.

So, that's the end of my brain farts on this. Thanks for reading. I've gor no idea how to bloody end this, I was going to link an article, but then I realised it pushes a product and while it mentions how diet can affect vaginal dryness, it doesn't expand on any changes one could make, or any known foods, or known food additives, that can have a negative impact on one's downstairs circus tent. I think I feel the need to do some poking around the Internet for more info...

* we ALL do it, stop with the judgments please.

[curejiraiya]

I feel very bad and in an effort to try and get my brain to disassociate from this mortal realm I am going to tell you all about one of my OCs. if you read this thank you but if it bores you do not worry I do not mind.

okay so today I'm gonna ramble about a guy named Chris Sanders. Chris is 27? iirc I have it written down somewhere. 27 or 28. He's married to his husband Nick, they took Nick's last name (low-key I forgot what his maiden name was lmfao)

They got married on Valentine's Day 2020, but we're engaged like 2018 just some stuff:tm: happened and the wedding had to be held off. It was a funny thing like I had that wedding planned for Valentine's Day and in real life shit was getting co viddy and I made a conscious decision in story to have it be like the last "big" event the characters got to go to before they started staying inside for safety. that's not relevant, anyway.

Chris and Nick actually got together when they were like 14 and 16? Chris met Nick a year before and was very like fairytale love at first site about him. Really he was a 15 year old boy he wasn't thinking logistics other than "boy in my friend group cute."

There's a whole thing with Chris, Josh, and Jay as teens has a weird relationship where Chris was openly gay, Josh hated him for it (Josh is gay/bi? but it takes him 10 years real time to figure it out) Josh and Jay were best friends and Jay was gay but very very in the closet. and the only person who knew Jay was gay was Chris, who were secret friends because Josh hated Chris. Publicaly Chris pretended to hate josh to keep up appearances but in reality Jay had only said good things about Josh so he didn't really mind him. He was just kinda a hormonal teenager, and he liked fighting and Josh kept fighting him lmao.

God there's a lot more here lol like they're friends because the three of them plus a handful of other people, some who literally have died in story since, were in a "school club" together? I'm also keeping the details vague because I wrote them when I was 13 and it's cringe.

You can tell what age I was when I wrote something if you know the ages of any character, cuz me and Nick Sanders are the same age. Derrin is one year older than Nick. Chris is two. Josh, Jay, and Liam are both three, and Collin is five years older. Jay is also actually older than Collin but maybe I'll write about his tragic backstory another night.

But speaking of tragic backstories Chris was born to a single mother, he has a younger brother. neither of them knew their father but they don't care. his mother was decent for a single mother in poverty until he started showing signs of being gay as early as 10. she was super religious so she asked her church what to do and they only suggested various child abuse lmao needless to say Chris was removed by CPS at 13. that's why he knows the rest of the guys cuz they were all in the same "orphanage". his mom wasn't weird to his brother, but his brother has a moral compass and left the house at 18 because he couldn't stand what she did to his brother (he's only like 20 now very baby.)

holy shit remember what I said last night about how everyone is in a duo or a trio? Chris's brother is ALSO in a duo lol I literally do not have a character who exists as a single personality without a friend to be their foil. anyway Chris's brother and Chris are decently close, Chris's brother is trying to make it as a music manager and conveniently Chris is in a band lmao. His brother lives with a friend Josh made during a hospital stay. that's a whole story but essentially he was a cancer patient throughout all his teenage years and it was his first time being 100% free of visiting the hospital at least once a week since he was a child. the band was looking for a place for him to stay because he was scared of living alone and conveniently Chris had an 18 year old brother who needed a roommate. now they're bff's or something.

hey this was supposed to be about Chris but two characters who I don't even remember the names of have taken over

anyway uhhh god I could spout Chris facts for days not even joking. one of the characters who died is essentially a self insert for specifically 13 year old me. like she died before I really became an adult lol. but Chris was her best friend until her death, so for awhile Chris was the character I focused on the most. nowadays that's Josh but I mean Chris and Josh live in the same house so it's not like he doesn't come up often.

right this second Chris and Nick are staying with a musician friend in New York. they're actually fighting because

well

how do I explain this that doesn't go on for a long time

so remember earlier when I said they were part of a school club as teens. well the world actually has a magic system because all good worlds have magic systems. and specifically Josh, the dead girl, Chris, & Jay are some of the best at magic in the entire galaxy and like . cringe at myself but the gang like we're all orphans in some way but they lived in 1 of 4 us based orphanages specifically for magician children. I never use the term wizard they're strictly magicians. magicians also live outside the US it's just other countries don't have weird orphanages. or didn't at the start of the story at least. anyway fuck so idk skipping 10+ years of lore. Chris has a lot of inherit magic skill, but he doesn't practice he stopped right after highschool to focus on their band and music. in highschool every one in the club like saw a private magic tutor but Chris didn't really continue. not that he doesn't do magic all the time like he does, he just doesn't study to learn how to do his magic more efficiently or learn more magic. fuck. anyway Jay DOES still study and stayed with his tutor like 10 years later. and you can tell because Jay has become one of the strongest magicians in the world. of course Josh is the strongest magician ever because of plot conveniences that could be talked about if I was talking about him. but Chris is mega jealous of Jay and angry at himself for not continuing his studies. So one day a random magic being (we have those here) contacts Chris from like a very far away dimension (even this is lore filled and complicated.) he promises to help Chris surpass Jay but he has to wear his super special necklace. the necklace is like logging information on Josh so this being can attack him later but I mean Chris doesn't know that this is like a RIGHT NOW plot. a lot led up to this lmfao. so Nick and Chris are fighting because Chris is suddenly WAY better at magic (Because of the necklace) and because of a lot of unrelated stuff Nick is thinking about moving to California. and he tells Chris and Chris unknowingly mind controls Nick into being happy with where he is now. Because like his magic has gotten so strong that if he wants something he can just mind control people into giving it to him (and unknowingly has been for a few months) but Nick's only magic power is that he can tell when magic is being used (and he only has that power because of another crazy plot where he died lmfao) so he notices pretty quickly that hes being mind controlled and hes pissed. so Chris confesses about the necklace but tells Nick to keep it a secret. Nick tells him he's being stupid and that he needs to get rid of the necklace. Chris doesn't think it's the necklace he thinks he just can't control his new power yet. and after one big fight they're now like both just avoiding talking about it again and being really distant from each other. it's sad rlly I don't like seeing the besties fight 😔 I kinda know how the plot is going to play out but I'll give them time.

idk did you actually learn anything about Chris from this? he's 5'4 he has black hair and it's currently really long so he keeps it in a bun most of the time. he's a death metal singer. hes super masculine and no one questions his height because he comes off as so masculine otherwise lmao. he's really into like 80s and older metal and idolizes rob hellford. he wears pleather a lot cuz he has a leather allergy but thinks leather jacks kick ass. he's definitely like kinda a stereotypical metal head / punk? very like a day to remembers "fast forward to 2012"-core. that's his theme song I just decided.

what else are u supposed to say about a character. since I mentioned magic I can say that his like magic skill set is about defence so he can make giant shields and force fields. he's super important if they ever have to like fight someone which doesnt happen often but does happen.

oh he plays guitar but also like every instrument. I always imagined their band to have a two singer setup where him and Nick switch off or sing together. but I mean most of the band has been doing this 10+ years and can play whatever role so they just do whatever is fun for that night.

uhhhhh idk if I got any more facts on the top of my head. Chris uhhhh played trumpet in highschool band. He speaks fluent Japanese, Spanish, German, and French. Derrin is the only member of the band with a degree but Chris has an honorary degree from some university he donates money too. Chris is like very punk politically active he actually goes to protests and is always talking about causes important to him. he's a good guy but his flaws mostly lie in his jealousy, and he definitely has a little big of an ego lol. he cares too much about looks too imo like he doesn't THINK he does but he does.

but idk big baby man who's hard on outside but heart of gold on inside. do I know how to write any other kind of character?!

omg I didn't even talk about how Chris is disabled. or how he has a vaping problem. that's the problem with having these characters for so long, how the fuck can I reasonably sum them up?

idk but it did work. 😴 good night if u read this far idk why u did but ty there's no payoff. sorry I did not proofread this.

[casspurrjoybell-28]

Alpha's Temptation - Chapter 50 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

A week later

I wake up to my mate sleeping peacefully besides me, arms secure around my body as his chest heaves in long breaths.

I just gaze at him for a minute, admiring how devastatingly handsome he is.

My heart can't take it.

How did someone like me get someone like him?

A loving, considerate mate who would do anything to protect me.

I can't believe how blessed I am.

I sometimes question if I even deserve it.

With a content sigh, I lift a hand to cup the side of his face, overcome by warm and fuzzy feelings.

I smile, leaning over to kiss him all over.

His forehead, his cheeks, his chin, everywhere.

I just love him so much.

He wakes up in a few moments, instantly pulling me on top of him as I giggle, kissing his nose.

"Can I wake up like this every day?" he murmurs, morning voice thick and deep.

I caress his cheek affectionately, giving him one last soft kiss on the lips before I squirm out of his grip, getting out of bed as I check the clock.

"Shoot. It's already 7:15. I have to get ready."

Daemon puts his hands behind his head, relaxing back against the pillows as he gives me a lazy smirk, eyes trailing down my figure.

"I think you're forgetting something, shortcake," he says in amusement and I look down, realizing I'm butt naked.

I flush, turning away from him to go to the closet and get some clothes.

"Don't mind this view, either. I wanna take a bite out of that ass," I grab a shirt from the closet, throwing it at him.

"Naughty Alpha," I scold, not able to help the smile that comes to my lips.

"Come over here and I'll show you just how naughty I can be."

An hour and a half later Daemon's fucked me twice and now I'm thoroughly late to school.

I walk into school a mess, my hair still in its bed head form and I'm wearing a long sleeve turtle neck to hide the old and fresh marks Daemon left all over me.

My legs are also still shaking from how hard we did it.

Let's just say a newly established mate-bond makes a couple... insatiable.

At least in our case.

It doesn't matter if it's the morning or middle of the night.

I'm always ready for him and he's always eager to take me.

Means I've had to get used to how freaking big he is.

Thankfully, he can get inside me more easily now but it's still pretty hard if I'm not in heat.

Curse his giant-ness.

But it feels so good I don't mind it even if I can't walk properly afterwards.

It's also made Daemon deathly possessive of me, if he wasn't already.

Letting me go off to school without him is already a big challenge for him.

Even Lucien can't really go near me right now or Daemon will go all protective alpha mode on him.

Along with the possessiveness comes the need for contact.

When we're together, we can't keep our hands off each other. It's like a constant pull between us.

I feel like I'll go crazy if I'm away from him for more than a few hours.

He's the same. Being wanted so much feels amazing.

I trudge across the cafeteria to wear our group sits, Lylah taking one look at me, a smirk coming to her face.

"Announcing it to the world you got railed this morning?"

I go bright red, clenching my fists.

"Lylah."

Everyone at the table is looking at me now.

How embarrassing.

Jay awkwardly looks down.

"You're two hours late babes. And what the hell are you wearing? It's freaking summer," she laughs and I just plop down beside her with a huff.

"He's a beast," is all I say, causing Wren and Lylah to squeal and giggle.

It's a few days later and it's the day of the long awaited play for our theater class.

Now that Theo's been locked up in the pack asylum, I can finally go back to focusing on normal life things.

The school year is almost over and I want to make the most of it.

I'm probably gonna have to take a few summer classes to actually graduate, but everything is looking up.

I'm even interviewing to work at a coffee shop soon.

I told Daemon that it's because I want job experience but the truth is that I feel overwhelmingly guilty that he pays for everything.

The house, our food, basically all my stuff, as well.

Not like I have any parents to give me an allowance.

I mean, Lucien would but that would also make me feel guilty.

So I decided that getting a part time job is a good option.

I know Daemon has more than enough to support us, I just can't help but feel that responsibility to pitch in.

"You excited for the play?" Jay jerks me out of my thoughts.

"Oh, yeah...but I feel like we didn't really get given major roles. I mean, not that I'd want one, anyway," I sigh.

If only I had more confidence.

"Hey, backstage workers are just as important as actors," he reassures me. "And what would they do without me?"

"You're a tree," I laugh, shaking my head.

"They wouldn't be breathing, how about that? No more carbon monoxide for them."

"There are so many things about what you just said that make no sense," I roll my eyes.

Before Jay can say anything else, a brute force suddenly knocks into me and I nearly fall over, if Jay weren't there to grab my shoulders and steady me.

We both look toward the perpetrator.

"Watch it, runt," Trent spits, causing Jay to growl.

"Fuck off," Jay glares at him but Trent only ignores him, sauntering off like the stupid troll he is.

"He's so annoying," I huff, crossing my arms. "I should threaten him with Daemon. Then he'd think twice about messing with us."

Jay looks unhappy, scratching his neck as he avoids eye contact with me.

"I... can still protect you from him, you know. I mean, I know I was never able to get him expelled like I said I would..."

"It's alright, really. The proof that he was the one that dropped that sandbag is probably long gone, anyways."

Jay doesn't really say anything more on the topic after that and I suspect he feels bad for not being able to do more about Trent.

But there's nothing I can really do to make him feel better.

I'm backstage, my stomach full of nervous butterflies.

It's not like there's much to be scared of but big events always give me anxiety.

The play has already started but we're not even half way through.

"Ash. Ash," I hear Ms. Harlow calling me from the changing room.

I turn as she approaches, my palms sweaty.

What's happening?

"Ash, our actor for the peasant boy is sick and the understudy just hurt his leg. You studied the lines, right? I need you to do it."

My eyes go wide, my stomach plummeting.

"M-Ms. Harlow... I don't think..."

"Nonsense, sweetie. You can do it," she aggressively smiles at me, wrapping a brown shawl around me for the costume.

I shake my head, looking around for help but what I see is Trent in the corner, smirking with his arms crossed.

I immediately know how the other understudy 'hurt his leg.'

Trent was behind it.

All because he knows I've never had it in me to perform and he wants to humiliate me.

But I have no time to confront him because Ms. Harlow is ushering me past the curtains and before I can stop her she's pushing me out onto the stage.

I stumble out, blinking in the harsh overhead lights.

I freeze in place, taking in the giant audience watching me.

Expecting me to play my part.

But it's like my mouth is filled with cotton.

I can't breathe.

I try to speak but my throat closes up.

"So fucking pathetic," I hear my stepfather's voice in my head, "You think you even begin to compare with your classmates? You're never going to be anything more than a worthless runt who was locked in a cellar half his life."

I shake my head, trying to push him out of it but I can't and it's like there's a roaring in my ears...his horrible voice, all the things he did to destroy my sense of self-worth and confidence and the way I was tortured at his hands.

I don't know how long I've been standing up here, over a hundred people watching me as I make a fool of myself.

But I can't do it anymore.

I shake my head, blinking back tears.

"I-I'm sorry," I rasp out, probably too quiet for anyone to even hear me.

And then I'm fleeing the stage, pushing past my teacher and all the other students trying to ask me what's wrong.

I couldn't tell them.

None of them would understand.

Only Daemon but he's working tonight.

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

!!!!!! Sunnie, this fic speaks for itself and I don't even need to say anything more. (But I will because OOOOOO fem Jason Todd, the things I would do for her) I'm going to go absolutely insane under the cut.

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doin’ all by herself at this time of night,” the rider drawls, Crime Alley accent pouring thick over her voice. Slowly you back away, one careful foot after the other. She cuts you off and advances.

MA'AM!!!! I'm already covering my face with my hands and reading through my fingers. Just ☆HER☆

“Bet I’m bigger,” the rider grunts in your ear, spearing you open with one of her fingers as she speaks. You have to clutch at the front of her leather jacket to keep from collapsing immediately at the invasion. “Bet I’m meaner,” she says as she pinches your clit and you yowl like an alley cat. “Bet I’d fuck you better.”

I'm giggling uncontrollably, this is so on brand! (Also I'm always weak for the leather jacket mention) And I believe every single word coming out of her mouth.

“Yeah baby girl, what’m I gonna do?” she taunts you, grin all predatory and all Jay. 

SWOONING. She can do anything she likes and I would thank her for it.

“Hiya baby,” Jay whispers as you collapse back against the wall, licks your slick off her hand as she stares you down. “Have a good day at work?”

What a menace. I wanna make out with her.

Jay Todd is nothing if not two things: vengeful and a woman of her word. She hits every single pothole one the drive home, takes detours and swerves in and out of traffic just to torture you

And I love her for that!! Ah, this is so in character, fr, I'm obsessed with this fic.

You’re so mesmerized by the sight of her pulling her tank top over her head that you forget to undress yourself, so lost in the scarred expanse of her skin.

Real. She's distracting and I respect the reader for not outright drooling at the sight.

She sighs, crosses her arms under her breasts as if to shove them higher into your face. “Well? Get undressed then, and go pick out the strap you want me to fuck you with.”

WHAT A MENACE. I'm in love with her.

She’s got a bored look on her face as she crooks her finger at you to come but the light in her eyes scream that she’s going to eat you whole. Jay reclines on the bed like royalty as she attaches the strap.

AHH!! this is so visual!! Yes and yes. No notes.

Finally, finally you manage to take the whole strap down to its base, face twisting up into a grimace at the fat bloated stretch of it. Finally she lets herself touch you, a hand coming to rest on your hip. She positively lights up with greed as you lean into her touch.

Feral. I don't even have the words to describe how I'm feeling.

“There she is, there’s my good girl,” she coos. Your nod turns to a sob as she grinds her hips into you, forces the strap to brush that sensitive place inside you.

The hardest part of this fic has been choosing which quotes to pull because I fr just copied this line all the way to end while screaming, which is kind of counter productive but that is how I feel.

“You want me to make you a mommy? Is that it?” she croons, delighted and shocked. “Well that’s easy baby, just had to say the words.”

Now, I KNOW she was excited to hear this

Finds that perfect spot and then sets to rearrange your guts around her strap as she mouths and bites a pretty collar around your throat. Fucks into you until your eyes are rolling back and all you can see are stars, the slick drag of your cunt and the burning stretch of her cock drowning out everything else as you shake.

The smut is so smutting. I would like to thank Sunnie, Jay, and whoever came up with the idea of kinktober because this has changed my brain chemistry.

Gently she brushes the sweat soaked hair away from your face, peppers kisses to your eyelids, nose. Grins down at you so lovingly and satisfied.

The sigh I let out was soooo fond, just I love some aftercare. Amazing work as always and I will be thinking about her for the rest of the year!! 🥰🥰💙💙💙

bonus story (oct 31) | breeding kink

✮⋆˙ baby girl

your girlfriend jay todd is hot. like seriously life ruiningly hot. so hot you want her ring and for her to put a baby in you. and if you think jay’s not gonna do her goddamn best to knock you up with her strap, well you’ve got another think coming.

tags: f!reader, fem!jason todd, flirting, sapphic sex, fingering, clit pinching, biting, penetrative sex with a strap on, breeding kink, size kink if you squint, soft domme jay todd, squirting, pregnancy mention, cannot emphasize enough that this is woman on woman sex

⊘ this is an 18+ fic. minors do not interact, you will be blocked

It’s the purr of the motorbike’s engine that signals to you that you’re not walking home alone anymore. Leonine and low, not a hint of a sputter or hiccup speaking to a machine well kept. Hurrying you pick up your pace, trying to get to the bright lights and bustle of the main street. Lazily it keeps pace with you until your stumbling feet carry you to the end of the block and an intersection that lets it pull up right in front of you, cuts off your hope of brighter street lamps and witnesses. A heavy boot puts down the kickstand.

“What’s a pretty little thing like you doin’ all by herself at this time of night,” the rider drawls, Crime Alley accent pouring thick over her voice. Slowly you back away, one careful foot after the other. She cuts you off and advances.

“M’heading home. Now. To my girlfriend,” you get out through a thick tongue. Still you back away and still she advances. The rough brick wall of the alley hits your back and suddenly you realize the trap you’ve walked into.

“Sweet thing like you, your girlfriend should know better than to let you out by yourself after dark,” she chides. Arm bracing against the wall over your head, she leans in until she fills your line of sight. “Why, just about anyone could stop by and snap. You. Up,” she breathes and your legs turn to jelly.

“She’s– she’s mean. She’s big and she’s mean and she fucks people up for a living,” you stutter out. The rider inserts one her thighs between your own, starts trailing rough fingers up the soft thin skin between them, up under the hem of your skirt.

“Yeah baby girl, what else?” she asks, fingers just brushing the fabric of your panties.

“She’s gonna– she’s gonna kill you if you touch me,” you try not to moan. A hand slips down the front of your panties, cups your sex. 

“Bet I’m bigger,” the rider grunts in your ear, spearing you open with one of her fingers as she speaks. You have to clutch at the front of her leather jacket to keep from collapsing immediately at the invasion. “Bet I’m meaner,” she says as she pinches your clit and you yowl like an alley cat. “Bet I’d fuck you better.” There’s two fingers inside you now, fucking you open faster than you’re ready for. The rough brick scrapes against the back of your thighs.

“She’s– she’s gonna–” you try to string together a threat but you can’t think around the fullness of your cunt.

“Yeah baby girl, what’m I gonna do?” she taunts you, grin all predatory and all Jay. 

You moan brokenly as she slides a hand under shirt, pulls your breasts out of your bra and starts playing with your nipples. Her fingers in your cunt start curling in on every thrust. Your mouth parts around a particularly vicious twist, breast stinging and cunt throbbing. She smiles against your throat, teeth bared at the way your clench down around her hand. Presses her thumb against your clit, just the hint of a nail verging on cruel. Bites a new bruise into your skin as you come on her hand, tight walls rippling around her at the pleasure-pain.

“Hiya baby,” Jay whispers as you collapse back against the wall, licks your slick off her hand as she stares you down. “Have a good day at work?”

“The worst,” you groan, hands working to set your clothing to rights, or as much as they can be salvaged anyway.

“Yeah? Well then why don’t you come home with me and let me kiss it better?” she purrs, handing over your helmet.

“Just for the record,” you tell her, already putting the helmet on, “that’s a terrible line. Awful. I can’t believe I’m letting you anywhere near my vagina after that.”

“It worked, didn’t it?” she says mock offended. “Just for that I’m driving over every single bump on the way home.”

Jay Todd is nothing if not two things: vengeful and a woman of her word. She hits every single pothole one the drive home, takes detours and swerves in and out of traffic just to torture you. Glued to her broad back, feeling like there’s a direct line from the vibrations of the engine to your clit, its no wonder you’re a puddle on the back of the bike by the time she pulls up at your apartment complex. She gets off the bike first and laughs when you bunch your hands in your skirt and mumble about needing a minute without looking her in the eyes. Leans in like she’s going to kiss you only to pull back and laugh as you almost face plant chasing after her mouth.

Eventually you do manage to peel yourself off the back of the bike with wobbly legs, leaving a damp spot on the hard seat. Jay lets you lean up against her on the way up to the apartment, thighs rubbing together in anticipation. Walks your right into the bedroom before shucking off her jacket, letting it fall to the floor.

You’re so mesmerized by the sight of her pulling her tank top over her head that you forget to undress yourself, so lost in the scarred expanse of her skin. She catches you staring just as her black sports bra hits the ground, catches your wide eyed desire and oh you’re fucked. Stalks towards you bare chested, grin promising all the fun for her and humiliation for you.

“You wanna touch?” she drawls, idly tracing one hand over the swell of a large breast. Dumb, you nod. Swallow. “Only good girls get to touch and you haven’t been very good, have you?”

“Wha–” you start indignantly but she shushes you.

“Kept me waiting, didn’t even bother trying to get undressed.” She grabs a handful of one breast and then drops it, sighing. “I don’t think you’ve earned the right to touch yet tonight, do you?”

“I can– I can be good,” you say through a cotton mouth. “I can earn it. Please?” 

She sighs, crosses her arms under her breasts as if to shove them higher into your face.

“Well? Get undressed then, and go pick out the strap you want me to fuck you with.”

Stumbling in your hurry to respond to her orders, you fumble with your clothing, determined to get it off off off. A seam rips but you don’t care because suddenly you’re free. Rush over to the chest of drawers and hastily pull out your favourite dildo. It’s big – not the largest of your shared collection but large enough – a deep shining red with a textured head and a flared base that makes you wince to take fully. Already your mouth is salivating at the last time Jay used this one on you, the way your cunt had ached for days afterwards.

Turning back to her, she’s already got her harness on, a few fingers lazily pumping at the curls between her legs. She’s got a bored look on her face as she crooks her finger at you to come but the light in her eyes scream that she’s going to eat you whole. Jay reclines on the bed like royalty as she attaches the strap. You stand next to the bed with fidgety hands that still haven’t been given permission to touch, worry your lip with your teeth. Satisfied, she lays back legs spread hands tucked behind her head on the pillows. The bright red cock stands straight up from her hips, gleaming dully in the low light. Idly you feel slick trickle down your inner thigh.

“C’mon on then, earn it,” she tells you and you’re a tangle of limbs scrabbling on the bed.

Desperate you line your cunt up with the tip of the strap and then push your hips down. Mewl as gravity spears you open on the plastic cock. Jay’s fingers had opened you up a bit but not for something as big as this. You’d been too stupid, too desperate to bother trying to slick it up with lube or the flowing juices from your cunt so you’re taking it dry. You choke as it’s descent slows, progress strangled by your too tight cunt and greedy eyes. You’ve got no way to balance yourself, to pull yourself up off the strap splitting you in half but Jay’s strong torso and she hasn’t given you permission to touch yet. You gasp and shudder, thighs burning and aching as you slowly pull yourself off the cock, allow yourself a few hiccuping breaths of respite, before slamming down again, letting gravity tear you open.

You get a little farther this time, cunt marking your progress with a new, lower ring of wetness around the plastic dick. Throwing your head back you force yourself to relax and push. Bear down in the hopes that it’ll feed that much more into your hungry, reluctant cunt. Jay watches the whole show with a feral grin. Laps up the way your tits bounce with every thrust. Revels in the tiny, tired whines you let out as your legs tire out from balancing the weight of you. Grows ravenous with the way tears have started to dew your lashes in frustration, in desperation. Finally, finally you manage to take the whole strap down to its base, face twisting up into a grimace at the fat bloated stretch of it. Finally she lets herself touch you, a hand coming to rest on your hip. She positively lights up with greed as you lean into her touch.

“There she is, there’s my good girl,” she coos. Your nod turns to a sob as she grinds her hips into you, forces the strap to brush that sensitive place inside you. Bunching her legs beneath her, she pushes you down beneath her, your roles suddenly reversed. “Bet you’d let me do whatever I want to you like this, take whatever I give and say thank you so sweetly.” She punctuates her words with a slow roll of her hips that has you clawing at the mattress and babbling to fast for Jay to catch. “C’mon baby girl, speak up. Gotta ask for what you want.”

“I said, I said Iwantyoutoputababyinme,” you gasp, trying to turn away and hide your face in your arms. Your whole body is on fire with embarrassment.

“You want me to make you a mommy? Is that it?” she croons, delighted and shocked. “Well that’s easy baby, just had to say the words.” She draws back her hips and rams the strap home. “Gonna have to breed this pretty pussy up until she catches. Fill you up with so much cum it’s gonna be dripping out of you for days.”

You moan at the lewd image she paints for you, thighs tightening around her hips as she drills into you.

“Poor thing, been so empty waiting for me to put a baby in you, bet your cunt was aching for it.”

��Please,” you beg, head thrown back and thrashing as Jay mouths at your tit.

“You’re gonna look so pretty carrying my baby,” she tells you, works a hand between you to tap and pinch at your clit in a way that’s got you bucking beneath her. “Your breasts and belly would be so swollen with it, they’d swing from the weight of it when I fuck you.”

Arching your back into her you whimper. She slams your hips back down onto the bed and fucks you brutally with the strap. Your cunt makes wet, sloppy noises around it that are audible even over the fleshy smacks of her hips hitting yours.

“Gonna make you carry as many of my babies as you can, gonna breed your cunt over and over again until you’re full. You’re gonna forget what it feels like to have a womb empty of me,” she growls, pushes a proprietary hand down onto the womb she’s claiming for her use. Finds that perfect spot and then sets to rearrange your guts around her strap as she mouths and bites a pretty collar around your throat. Fucks into you until your eyes are rolling back and all you can see are stars, the slick drag of your cunt and the burning stretch of her cock drowning out everything else as you shake. Something’s building in your tummy, a kind of pleasure-pressure you haven’t felt before. Every time she thrusts into your cunt, whispers dirty words about stretching you out with as many babies as your cunt can take, it builds and builds until you feel stretched thin from the pressure of it all.

The damn breaks and you sob as you squirt through your orgasm. Pleasure running wild, tearing open your veins and reducing you down to a base needy thing only concerned with milking the strap still fucking her. Jay kisses you, slow and filthy as you sob and shake, squirt still running down your legs as you tear through your high. Gently she brushes the sweat soaked hair away from your face, peppers kisses to your eyelids, nose. Grins down at you so lovingly and satisfied.

“There she is, there’s my good baby girl. Gonna be my good little ma too.”

[jwcnsz]

it's okay

pairing; little!jake x cg!reader

summary; enhypen goes camping with the reader but jake feels himself slipping into littlespace... and so the reader (nd enha) is there to take care of him.

warnings; none

genre; fluff

word count; 1.2k

requested; yes!

a/n; MY FIRST REQS RHKEEUIOJCK i love little jake sm yall dont get it :( i tried my best to write this, enjoy! <3 (creds to pixeljinki for part of the moodboard i used lmao) also the end was kinda shit sorry

"sunoo, you don't need to pack so much. it's like two days." jay told the boy who was currently stuffing a whole weeks worth of clothes into his suitcase. "but hyung... what if i get the clothes wet? what if i fall in mud? what if riki spills something on it?" sunoo questioned.

"what did i do?!" riki yelled from the other side of the dorm. "nobody was talking to you!" jay and sunoo yelled back in unison. you giggled at their antics.

you and the boys had been planning this trip for a while and you all had to wait until after their latest album promo. they all seemed so relieved when they were told they had a week off. so here you were now, helping them pack and you packing your own things.

you walk to jay and jake's shared room to help jake finish packing up. when you were about to walk in you noticed him staring at something on his bed. you walk inside and see that he was actually staring at his pacifier.

"should i take it? what if they make fun of me?" he asked himself. "i'm sure they won't, baby." you answered his question getting a scream in return.

jake's eyes were saucepans, his chest going up and down. you laugh at his reaction. "did i scare you? sorry, darling." you laughed out. jake lets out a deep breath before going on a rant about how you should always knock before entering a room and how you scared the literal crap out of him.

"anyways... i don't think i'm taking the paci. i think i can last two days without being a big baby. i'm already done packing so i'm gonna go to the car already." he said carrying his backpack on his shoulder. "alright, i'm almost done. you go ahead." you told him as he nodded and left the room.

remember how jake said he could last two days without being a baby? yeah, you knew he wouldn't last 12 hours. you took all of his toys, his pacifiers, his bottle, and his favorite blankie. and thank goodness you did.

you all were done packing and were downstairs waiting for the manager to bring the van to the front door. "so how long is it gonna be until we get to the place?" jake asked heeseung who was on his phone.

"umm... around an hour and a half?" he answered jake who nodded and thanked him. he looked kinda stressed over something but you decided to not question him.

the van finally arrived and you all got on. you and jake were in the very back with everyone else just scattered around the van. the whole ride jake was jittery and moody too. you were trying to think of what was wrong.

he was fine just now... you tap his knee and make him look at you. "you okay?" you whispered. he nodded before looking away again. you decided to not pry further but to keep a close eye on him.

when you guys arrived at the camping site you noticed how he was in an even worse mood than before. hopefully he doesn't act up or anything...

"jake, can you help us with the bags?" jungwon asked for his help. "no!" jake yelled stomping away into the small cabin that was provided by the camping site. everyone turned to look at each other confused, why did he do that? usually jake is the very first one to help.

"i'll check on him." you let the boys know as you walked to where jake was. you entered the cabin to find jake on the floor crying. he was sitting with his legs crossed and his hands on his face. "jake? is everything okay?" you crouched to his level.

he couldn't do much more than whine. that's when you realized what was happening. he's slipping into littlespace. "jakey, what happened?" you asked in a much softer tone. you took his hands away from his face and wiped his tears.

jake whimpered and opened his mouth to speak. "don wanna feel little... gonna ruin the trip." he whispered out. "but there's nothing wrong with feeling little and you're not ruining anything for anyone. you know they love little jakey just as much as they love big jakey." you comforted him while gesturing to the members who were finishing unpacking.

"luv jakey?" he questioned. "mhm. absolutely love jakey!" you answered picking him up. "now just because you're feeling little doesn't mean you can be rude to the members, right?" you asked jake who nodded slowly. "be a good boy and apologize." you told him as you walked outside with him.

"guys! jakey has something he wants to say!" you called the rest of the guys over. jake looked over at you for support, your smile giving him the courage he needed to speak up. "jakey sorry... didn mean to be rude. sorry for making yungies mad..." jake apologized with a sad tone.

the members cooed at his words before they all surrounded him with a huge group hug. "we were never mad, baby. we already know you'd never be like that with us ever. it's okay." sunghoon said to jake who felt so nice being hugged by everyone like that. they all basked in the moment for a bit longer until the silence was cut with a "riki, get your hand off my ass." from jay.

everyone pulled away in giggles with riki mumbling a small sorry. "would jakey be happy if we all played tag with him?" jungwon asked jake who was smiling like a puppy. "yes!" he jumped around. you smiled at how your baby was acting.

the members played with him while you set the rest of the things you brought in their place and preparing some quick dinner, sandwiches and chips. of course, you cut the crust from jake's sandwich and used a dino mold that you brought with you to cut his sandwich. you knew how he loved dinosaurs and sandwiches so why not combine both?

the boys came back to eat and jake literally screamed in joy when he saw his sandwich. "dino!!!" he yelled while sitting down. "that's right, baby! enjoy all of you." you said before sitting down yourself to eat.

everyone was having so much fun while camping, especially jake. he was absolutely thriving and you loved it. he was running, giggling, even pranking his hyungs.

soon enough it was time for bed and jake wanted to do anything but sleep.

"wana stay up!!" jake whined at the members who were already in their pajamas. "jakey, we all need to sleep... tomorrow we can play some more!" riki said going to his makeshift bed which was just a blanket on the floor.

jake just pouts but finally puts his pajamas on and heads to bed. "wan a bed time story!" jake pouted again. so of course, you and the members read him a story to make him get sleepy until finally, he falls asleep.

everyone gave him a forehead kiss before heading to their respective beds. you were so happy about everything that happened today, from little jake to all the fun you guys had.

you have a day left of your vacation. you fall asleep with a smile knowing that jakey is gonna have so much fun.

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