Di, have you ever been afraid of messing things up?
Personally, I’m not afraid because, I mean, what’s the worst that could happen has probably already occurred, so I feel it is what it is.
But generally, being afraid is part of being human, so it’s okay if someone feels afraid that things might go wrong or if their results aren’t as expected. Just remember, it's okay to make mistakes; they're a part of learning and growing.
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on sharing creative work with people who get it.
[ID: A comic in a simple art style, featuring two people drawn in black and white: a person with short hair and round glasses (the author), and a person with short hair, square glasses, and a possum on their head (their friend).
The first row has 3 square panels: The author types at a laptop. The laptop screen, with a page full of words is shown. They stare at it, going "hm…"
Then, there are closeups: Their face as they look away with a frown, and their hand as they go to close the laptop, a little burst of yellow with the word "pop!" appearing behind them. It zooms out to them, with the laptop half closed, looking surprised at their friend, who has popped into existence grinning behind them.
Three more square panels: Their friend leans forward, pointing at the laptop, as the author looks confused, still. They open the screen and look at what their friend is pointing at, their friend saying "!!". Then, there's a closeup of just their friend, staring forward with a smile, with a speech bubble with a bright pink heart in it.
The next panel is longer, as the author and their friend begin to talk back and forth. Their friend's first speech bubble has "!!", with some yellow popping around it, and then the rest of their speech bubbles are big and filled with bright colors. The author responds in small speech bubbles, all empty save for a pair of round glasses in the corner to indicate who is speaking. In the bottom corner is a speech bubble from the author that reads "..."
Next are two smaller panels, stacked on top of each other. The author speaks, and this time their speech bubble is filled with partially desaturated color that becomes pink to one side. The friend responds, in bright pink, as the author smiles slightly.
The next panel doesn't have a border. The author and their friend talk in the bottom left corner, a cloud of intertwining speech bubbles coming from them. The speech bubbles are painted across in a rainbow of bright colors that extend beyond the borders. They're both smiling as they talk.
Below this are two thinner panels, both closeups of the friend as they continue to talk and gesture, brightly-colored speech bubbles behind them. Then, in a wider panel, the friend points back to the computer screen, still speaking with colorful bubbles, as the author nods and follows their gaze.
The last row has 3 square panels. The author stares at the screen in surprise, then smiles with teary eyes, touched. The last panel shows the laptop screen again, the same document this time painted with bright colors behind the words. below this panel is the word "end."]
(split into two panels under the cut just in case tumblr kills the quality)
[ID: The same comic, now split into two images before the large colorful panel full of speech bubbles.]
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Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away.
They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.
by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays
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my secret is that i don't think i have a future. i'm turning 18 in a month, maybe by the time you post this ask i will already be 18 for a while, but well, im not there yet. i just finished high school kicking and screaming, literally thought i wouldn't survive it to the point i was considering ending it all several times, but i finished it. now what? now i know i have to go to uni but i also know i won't be able to make it through. i barely scraped by with high school and now my mental health is at an all time low (thought 2021 was my worst year but life is full of surprises) and if college is harder than high school like people say it is, then i'm just royally fucked. it does not help that i don't know who i want to be in life. i'm bilingual and have language skills, but if i study for a translator job then it's just like-- who even needs it? i live in russia. my country is in shambles and so is its economy and relationship with other countries. russia does not need a fucking translator because everybody hates it and for good reason. i can't imagine any future for myself here. when i was a kid it all seemed so clear to me, i would grow up and live with my best friend and be happy and have a job i love. now whenever i think of being grown up my mind just comes up blank. my best friend has probably forgotten that we ever wanted to live together, or they just left the idea behind because it was so childish and unrealistic. i feel like i've been drifting away from them as well as my entire friend group for the past 2 years. i'm autistic, so i just don't see the world the same way they do. i used to love being aroace before i realized it's distancing me from my friends, because now they all have partners or they're yearning for partners or talking about all the sex they've had and i just have nothing to add to the conversation. i don't smoke or drink, so i guess now i'm just not as interesting to hang out with as when we were all 15 and sober. so yeah. i guess i just dont know what im going to do or what's going to happen to me. i've spent the last few years feeling more and more isolated and sinking into depression. if i get into college, i don't know what it's going to do to me, but it makes me fear for my life. if i don't get into it, then i dont know what im going to do at all. maybe my real secret is that i was put on this earth to draw gay people and not like, have a life and relationships. oh well.
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The average public library is not only a provider of the latest Anne Enright or Julia Donaldson: it is now an informal citizens advice bureau, a business development centre, a community centre and a mental health provider. It is an unofficial Sure Start centre, a homelessness shelter, a literacy and foreign language-learning centre, a calm space where tutors can help struggling kids, an asylum support provider, a citizenship and driving theory test centre, and a place to sit still all day and stare at the wall, if that is what you need to do, without anyone expecting you to buy anything.
[...] The trouble comes when libraries – and the underpaid, overstretched people who work in them – start to become sole providers for all these things: when years of cost-cutting mean that the state has effectively reneged on all but the most unavoidable of its responsibilities to the troubled, the poor, the educationally challenged, the lonely, the physically unwell, the lost or the homeless. “We risk becoming a social care safety net,” said Nick Poole, the outgoing CEO of the library association Cilip, and “our staff are not clinical staff”.
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I have a hypothesis that having something to watch and look forward to every week (or at least in a regular time intervals) is more significant and beneficial to people's mental health more than one could think
It's both important because of the enrichment factor, but also from the perspective of having something positive to look forward to every week at a set time, guaranteed to appear no matter of what happened in your life, the state of your mood and where are you currently in life
As well as being delivered in manageable doses, not causing overwhelm, not taking up enough time to be disorderly to your schedule
I feel it's especially important to neurodivergent people, but also being a net positive in neurotypicals as well
It's generally a comforting presence that makes us feel a little bit more in control in the face of everything else that might be going on at the while
I feel like entertainment is generally more significant to our lives than it's often regarded as
We need to unwind in a controlled way on a regular basis
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Gortash being a highly intense person but with eerie, almost inhuman levels of self control is so interesting to me. and by interesting I mean terrifying. Like i think his genuine smile or - God Forbid - his genuine laugh would provoke a visceral fear response in the average person.
I think Aeryn sees his real smile several times but the laugh only once, when Gortash is carving his name into Aeryn’s neck. Like i think that whole thing is. maybe not a religious experience for Gortash but it’s pretty close. makes him feel emotions indescribable and with an intensity he’s never felt before and doesn’t again (until Aeryn carves out his - his - heart and hands it to him before they die in each others arms in the Astral Prism :))
but yeah just thinking about that whole scene like. goddd i WISH i had the brainpower to write it but it would be so difficult cos Aeryn’s Fully Brainwashed by Gortash at that point so it’s. weird. and i don’t know how to start lmao. so lemme just say it’s the first time Aeryn feels Gortash shake against him. maybe his voice even wavers. not from nervousness, just pure adrenaline.
which i think is why i’m so hesitant to make that the first (and if i did, the only, knowing my lack of energy) fic i write about them because they’re e both being so out-of-character in it? like i don’t want that to be the main association people have with them. i don’t know.
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with the year coming to a close, i hope that anyone who's reflecting about how the year went remembers to be kind and fair to themselves with how you evaluate the year as a whole.
i think there are definitely times when life throws things that are... Not So Great at you. whether if it's some external circumstance that surprised you, or maybe your mentality wasn't at it's best. i wish for anyone who's encountered those kinds of challenges to be able to triumph over them and be able to say that they got through it.
heck, it might still be a work in progress even though you've kept chipping away at it, and that's ok! the results will show themselves eventually as you work through it! and i hope that we can all remember to be patient with ourselves as we go through these processes (learning, healing, etc.), because damn, it can be frustrating when you feel like you're "not there yet."
knowing that life can be rough at times, i think it's unfair to yourself (and others) to discount and downplay any progress you've made this year- whether if it's something that you did for the first time, or maybe you came to a new understanding and insight that you didn't have in the previous year.
it's not to say that you should undermine the validity of your experience with hardship, but to take the time to remind yourself what makes life worth living. to recall what moments were the most satisfying to you- and use it to strengthen your resolve for the next year and beyond. no amount of hardship will ever take away from the fact that you deserve to have hope that things will get better.
i hope that looking back on the year, you don't leave out the things you cherish. that you can remember the good that came this year. whether if the small victories are things like meeting someone new, trying something out for the first time, or making some strides in a long-term project/obligation...!
i wish everyone a happy new year! may it be prosperous, and that your life can move in a direction that's close to what you want out of life. you're all going to do great! remember to congratulate yourself for what you did well! despite everything, you're still here, and that's wonderful. never forget that!
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