#also I'm bored in work and that's why this is so long
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Uh... contrary to what popular belief would be, I typically go for a fancier look when I'm running late. Like, I'll originally plan for something like sweatpants and a I-truly-do-not-care shirt, and I'll have that stuff on, but when I'm running late, I just tend to. Change, ya know? I'll throw on some jeans, some jewelry, my boots, and I'll try to fluff up my shirt. I'll just be running out while putting on my makeup when I originally woke up planning to deadpan-glare my way through the day.
I love rain! No matter how inconveniencing, it always manages to lighten my mood because it reminds me to throw expectations out the window and say 'fuck it' and move on with a pep in my step. As much as I need sun, I also like my rain because it gives my light-sensitive eyes a break. It reminds me that I am alive just like everyone else I see and that the reality I see before me is real; and half the time I don't even realize that I'm starting to feel like a passenger in my own life. It's my own little break, it's my self-indulgence, it's my laughing in others' faces because they're annoyed at the rain when I've never felt so alive.
I'd say my laugh is different with a shitty joke. It's more of a kneel-over barking laughter that makes me start crying and my stomach her kind of laughter that takes me by surprise and leaves me with my eyes a little brighter, my smile a little more mischievous as we share that little moment of joy and humanity that we know will leave but we are both okay with it because it will come again. It's also got this sort of delay when I'm in the moment and enjoying myself where it'd take me a little bit to register it happening (delayed audio processing my beloved <3 /lh /s), and then the joke itself, and then I'll laugh and it'd be a little embarrassing that such a joke took so long--especially when I'm the only one to react to it--but everything washes over eventually, so it'll be alright.
I'd duck and scream. Honestly and genuinely, on Jupiter, that will be my reaction. I hate insects and I hate the unknown, so I will react accordingly because I don't know what it is or if that bee will sting me. And yes, this is a genuine, heart-gripping fear :(. I don't mind existing and I even respect how and why they Work, but I genuinely, truly and utterly, hate them flying near me because of the unknowns :(. I could give you a whole psycho-analysis about it, tbh, but that's not the conversation of today :).
I have two moods when delving deep into a good fanfic or book--either hilarious, I-forget-that-I'm-being-perceived faces (usually when I'm in public or in an otherwise populated/I Need To Be Aware Enough Of Reality To Remember I And Said Reality Exists space), or a truly and utterly, devoid of any expression or mental existence, deadpan/resting bitchface that leaves people concerned for my well-being and me totally and utterly unaware of my surroundings bc I'm just That Deep Within The Book. Both are equally likely to happen no matter the book or my involvement within it, it is just a product of being so very easily lost into hyperfocus when occupied with something but also unable to be bored/not doing anything. So... there we go! This happens with pretty much anything--me acting out so I remember my existence and Presence Within Reality, or just going completely dead to the world out of hyperfocus and/or being mentally drained (and the amount of hours I've lost after functions/long days- wow-)
Another thing I'd like to say, since we're already sorta on the topic of it, is that I make the cutest and most innocent facial expressions when my name is called/I'm being brought out of a focus/my attention is being shifted. One of my teachers literally Stops what she is doing when calling roll/being distracted by the monotonous of things when she calls my name because my nose is usually deep into a book/something I'm doing that I literally pop my head up, frown, and glance around to figure out where I am, before looking up and smiling to say that I'm here and then immediately burying my nose back into whatever I was doing. She. Stops. to do this with me :)). Each & every day I have her class :)). This happens in a lot of things too! It's just that look of genuine confusion about Everything like after a good and deep nap that leaves you wondering what day it is and what the concept of time is :)). I think about this interaction constantly :))
As for the other things? I've never had coffee a day in my life and I don't plan on it for a long time. I hate soda. I'm my own worst asshole and I will do things against the best interest of myself--for the better or the worse. I talk and genuinely feel as though I am not doing enough even though I am gone for nearly 18 hours a day on the regular. I am genuinely injured and still will go through that process and the back and forths of wondering if it's worth enough to take a break and also feeling like I've already taken too many breaks. I will worry needlessly over projects and grades despite having numerous past experiences telling me I'll do well because I'm worried that, as soon as I let my guard down, that will be it. I actively and vocally bargain my own fate almost 90% of the time because I, again, am my own worst asshole and, again, I worry that I'll drop the ball with my own cockiness on something I need. If left waiting/in an event where I'm merely watching instead of doing or I need to focus on something/kill time so I don't become a nervous wreck, I will start conducting a fake band with absolutely no rhythm than my own anxiety. I will also start tap-dancing with my boots (I have never tap-danced or seen tap-dancing a day in my life), and I have a much worse lung capacity than someone my age and ✨skill level✨ should have. But I am great at lessening anxiety around me, listening to people/talking through theirs, and joking around about my own stresses because I deserve it and it helps me too :)).
I also absolutely & utterly hate loud, unnecessary, and sudden noises--the second one especially when overstimulated!
Long distance relationships suck. I want to know so much more than what you text me.
I want to know what kind of outfit you pick when you're running terribly late. What's your first reaction to rain. If your laugh is different when it's caused by a shitty joke. How you react to a bee flying by. What expressions you have when reading a very good book...
All those things you find insignificant about yourself, I want to know them. I know there is so much to love about you that I will miss if I'm not close enough.
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pitched battle inside my brain between the part of me that's desperately shaking myself by the shoulders going "YOU HAVE GOT TO ACTUALLY LIVE THE KIND OF LIFE YOU IMAGINE INSTEAD OF JUST SITTING AROUND IMAGINING IT UNTIL YOU DIE!!" and the part of me that's clutching my face going "is this allowed? is this allowed?? is this allowed???"
#trying to plan a solo cicada pilgrimage and getting brainworms about it yeehaw#'making a lot of plans and never actually doing things in real life' has been a problem for literally as long as I can remember#but I also feel like I've developed a learned helplessness over the last several years that's gotten worse as I've gotten older??#me age twenty: I think I'm gonna take myself to chicago next week because I feel like going to the zoo#me age thirty: am I allowed to go camping alone. am I allowed to do a solo road trip. I need a grownup#to be extremely clear I am very much allowed and this is not justin's fault and I don't know where it comes from#like I'll run things by him lowkey seeking 'permission' that I don't even need and he'll be like 'yeah that sounds good to me'#and then I STILL won't do the thing because like. my brain keeps insisting there needs to be a grownup in charge?? HELLO I'M GROWNUP#anyway I'm doing cicada trip solo BECAUSE-- the drive is so long I want to do five days because two of them will just be driving#and he can't get that much time off work right now#AND because I literally only want to Be Camping and Looking At Bugs but he'd get bored of a week of that he likes Activities#me this morning getting insecure and weird: what are your thoughts... on cicada voyage....#him after at first not even understanding the question: I'm SO excited for you?? you deserve to get to go absolutely feral???#I do.... ;n; 💕 why am I so scared to be a person.......#about me#cicada quest
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You know he has to flip for it!
No text + flat under cut
I've been working on this for a bit, and it is done! Two of my f/o's interacting for a silly meme. Ichimatsu's getting held by the scruff like a cat because Harv can't be normal /j/lh
#🦇// my art#i think we have to kill this guy#meme#two face#harvey dent#ichimatsu#ososan#btas#osomatsu san#dc#mr osomatsu#batman the animated series#self ship#f/o's#I LOVE LIMITED COLOR PALETTES!!!!!!#Also I'm really proud of the colors. I'm getting better at making them harmonious#I've been working on this for so long! honestly I finished it because I wanted to render something since i haven't in a bit#the lineart and anatomy was hell but that's partly because I chose shitty angles to work with in retrospect#alls well ends well I suppose#Look at Harveyyyyy <3 my wonderful Harv <3#It's supposed to be Harv talking that's why the speech bubble is black. I wasn't going to make it squiggly like in the comics for this.#Ichiiiiiii !!!!#I'm so happy with his facial expression! also this is the first time I've drawn him in the og suit I think#Yes he has a piercing because Iru took him to get his ears pierced I do what I want#Also Two Face gets makeup because he can get it and also I dislike the red lip thing. There's other headcanons too#I'm still playing around with his design but I like the skin tone and suit I used here#Also their noses!!! I LOVE THEIR NOSES!!!! Love how I drew them#only thing is their eyes aren't that detailed or rendered like I'd like. I got bored but they look good enough#honestly this whole thing I made so I could have a drawn header :3
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Authentic Story of the Shining Force - Saint Fencer Max - Chapter 4
Translation notes:
This is the last boob joke. We're free at last.
Here's the retranslation of every scene with the Spring of Recollection in the game. Overall, her speech here is fairly close to what she says in Waral in-game, with a few details from her final appearance sprinkled in, like her care for Cain. It does misses a few nuances though, like the Legacy being more than just Dark Dragon.
I don't think I've ever seen art of the Spring, but notably, she gets a portrait in the GBA version, and it looks a lot like the manga design, with the slightly wavy hair and especially the blank eyes.
Obviously, the manga rushes through the plot since it's short, thus a lot of places are skipped. I didn't even feel like pointing them out before. However I will point out Waral not being here this time, because Waral happens to not be in the beta map either, and it has very contradicting lore between the ASCII guide and the World Book, meaning it might have not been well developed. Besides, Chapter 5 is very weirdly structured. You get two ship battles that are basically the same, you get to Waral by accident, you advance the plot by going to Ring Reef for no reason and everyone telling you it's off-limits while letting you waltz in anyway, and hardly anything happens in the shrine besides you hearing about the Manual, which is not even a big deal because you get to Rudo by accident later (two ship accidents!! why repeat this plot point!!) and would go to Dragonia anyway to help Bleu. Basically, I obviously can't prove it, but it wouldn't surprise me if the ocean shrine was initially thought off as only a plot scene, and the battles/town added much later for gameplay reasons.
Perhaps worth mentioning, the GBA version also makes a point to mention that Max got lost in the shrine alone, and everyone was worried about him, which does remind me a lot of the ship scene here.
uh oh. i hit image limit for the first time and i don't wanna remove either of these pics. more notes on a reblog later.
#shining series#shining force#saint fencer max#saint fencer max translation#sfm max#sf cain#so. gamers. fans. friends and followers. are we good? are we normal? are we normal about the last pages? i'm not#unfortunately my typesetting does not do it justice but at least i put up a fight#those unending creaking noises mess me up so good#it's just. so good. all of this#why did the gba version wasted time with boring villain epilogues#when it could be giving me the Good Stuff (angst of a long haired anime man)#also is his hair dyed? the eyebrows kinda imply that. i'm not sure i like that but i'm not sure i dislike that either#his hair is so good tho#anyway i could talk about him forever and i will but i gotta talk about the spring too#i really like the sword of light being here. it works aesthetically at least. the mishaela plot is very dumb#i had a whole thing about the sword of light typed but i took it out for later cause it doesn't have much to do with the manga#will probably come though! the three max cain plots are the same basically but there have some difference in the details#that has mashed together in my brain#so i wanna pick that apart at some point#anyway back to the mango. i dearly miss the nuance about the legacy even though it took me a while to notice it in the game#between this and the pseudo-magic introduction the manga does suck a bit at portraying the ancients#but i like how despite the weird pacing of the manga this part kinda flows better#with the spring's revelations all here in the middle#instead of popping in manarina like 'yeah boy you're hero of fate wait three chapter until we elaborate on that though'#naturally the game has good battle content to keep you happy through it#but the manarina scene feels kinda useless to me#anyway i probably had more to say about this while translating but i'm very sleepy#i will never shut up about this chapter though. mark my words
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I love creating sims in my head, write their backstories for gameplay and when it comes to opening the game and creating them I don't want to ;-;
#why am I like this#they're also 2 MALE sims#means pain because my male sims take so long to create#i never like them#creating female sims is much easier for me ;-;#i'm bored at work and began to write their looks and stories in my notes#and i'm always like#yeah TOMORROW before work i'll open my game and create them!#and what do I do...not opening the game#i'm always like aaah it takes so long to find the cc I like and spending hours is cas is not worth it#I don't wanna waste my little free time before work ;-;#them I'm playing bg3 lol#but maybe on the weekend#at least it's my plan to open sims again and play a bit#annie.txt
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Take this off my hands beloved mutuals & followers
#I'm reasonably sure I have free access to all of these. BLEASE do not suggest any more I'm already swamped 💀#Lupin III: the First is technically a rewatch but I only ever saw it once in cinemas when it was released so. basically new#2002 Dracula is on there 10% for Cary Elwes‚ 20% bc people are blogging abt Dracula Daily‚ & 70% bc Tom Waits is in it apparently???#as for Monte Cristo... look. I AM actively reading it. have mercy on me it's 460k words long. that's almost TWICE as long as Joyce's Ulysse#Cowboy Bebop is up there bc I have no self control. it's not even a miniseries it's a proper series. it's just endlessly rewatchable ❤️#happily I restrained myself from putting The X-Files & Gilmore Girls up there for the same reason. they at least are massive#u may reblog this although idk why u might want to. for propaganda I suppose#also I'm not watching any of the Monte Cristo film adaptations for obvious reasons (i.e. spoilers)#I will reblog this later today I'm just bored at work rn#thank u beloved mutuals I am sure u will not lead me wrong 🫡💞#poll#vignettes de ma vie#films#ceci je l'ai fait
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my criteria for a ship to be obsessed with is always "if it inspire me to think, ponder, imagine, then that's my favorite ship"
that's why i usually don't really like canon ships because most of them don't inspire me to imagine things for them, the author had already provided it for me, the audience
(doesn't mean i hate them tho, i just don't find them that interesting to me as an artist)
#this is me thinking about how some of my friends who like yoshiden told me akiden is boring...#like... yeah TO YOU i guess but akiden is that ship that made me ponder all day long... even more than yoshiden#so to me i actually think yoshiden is the boring one because fujimoto already put it there in the manga#they don't inspire me much compared to the very cruel nature of akiden#also why at times i got really weird urge to draw makiden because i keep thinking how there's a lot of things that can happen between them#which frightens yet also excites me as an artist hehe#but yeah this doesn't just apply to chainsaw man but all the fandom i'm in#if the authors say a ship is canon usually i just feel very indifferent about em#but when the author ended the ship abruptly or somehow didn't explain anything about the evolution of certain character's relationships#my brain just goes haywire#but it also need to make me very emotionally attached to them and the story or it doesn't work#tmi tag
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the way it takes me hours to make even a sketch because i get distracted every five minutes...... help
#sometimes i get distracted by the drawing itself too like i'll just stare at what i have for an uncomfortably long time#this is why i don't post that frequently. not because i'm lacking in time but because im actively fighting demons every time i want to draw#and then when it takes so long to work on something i inevitably get bored and start something else. and then the cycle begins anew#this is also why i almost exclusively post sketchy unlined messily colored stuff with no backgrounds#the monsters within won't let me do anything else
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Idk why every time I have a project that involves using the Register of the Great Seal for something even slightly more complex than looking up a single isolated charter, I always have a lovely plan where I think it will only take me a couple of hours to go in, check the index, and take the numbers I need down. And then I end up having to skimread the whole damn volume.
#No I know why#It's because the index is fucked up that's why#All due respect to those Victorian and Edwardian lads who went to the tremendous trouble of compiling all these sources#But this particular method of indexing leaves a lot to be desired#Does NOT have everything I need in it#And by the time you realise that some lands might pop up where least expected you start to convince yourself it would be safer#Just to read the whole thing#It's 800 pages long#I have been at this since 4 and I'm not even an eighth of the way through#Would be much quicker if I had the physical volume but it's a very old rare book so the library have it under strict control#Fortunately of course it HAS been digitised which is fantastic#Lots of sources for mediaeval Scottish history that were compiled into printed editions in the nineteenth century have been digitised#They are very easy to get ahold of and in my biased opinion it is easier to do online primary source research for Scotland than England#But 800 pages staring at a screen (which is NOT a format I can easily retain information from even if it didn't make my eyes hurt)#Having to physically scroll down the page rather than just flip a page#Is just not ideal#And this is the only volume in the series which is on Hathi rather than Internet Archive and personally I find indexes more difficult to us#On Hathi than internet archive#Anyway#That's how you end up making the bad decision to work your way through an 800 page volume and make yourself go blind#Just to find some charters#But I've already sunk several hours into this so can't give up now! I always vastly underestimate the amount of time it takes too#Also a certain degree of Ill as well. Like I feel I have to Suffer For My Craft-suffering being back problems and 19th century antiquarians#Alright this is officially the most boring rant I have ever had
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hm. i've been quiet abt it bc i don't really like being negative on here but honestly the new furby design is. disappointing idk. absolutely nothing against people who like it ofc, and there are def some cute aspects. but it sucks to see that the design is so far removed from original furbies and just doesn't have the same charm idk. the connect was already straying pretty far but honestly i kinda like connects bc the shapes are cute but. idk the 2023 furbs just seem like they're trying to hard to be cutesy and it just feels sort of forced?? if it appeals to kids and young people get to enjoy it that's awesome and honestly that's kind of the point. but i do get why people are unhappy with it. like in regards certain aspects like the eyes the fixed beak & the way it's like. super difficult to take apart bc of the clips and stuff. i can totally see why a lot of customizers especially aren't happy with it. i'm sure lots of people have said the exact same stuff but yeah overall i feel like. relatively neutral to the whole thing idk it's nice to see furbies being produced and sold again and yeah it is cute but i get why people aren't loving it. that said ofc there are people who do love it and that's totally okay. regardless if you love it or hate it what's not okay is people within the community being rude to each other based on whether they like it or not cmon. it's not for everyone but if people do like it that's their business and there's no need to be rude!!! but on the other hand if people have complaints about it they should be allowed to voice that as long as they're not being mean yknow. letting it cause a rift in the community is silly. but anyways
#sorry for the super long post#but yeah these are just some thoughts abt it. idk personally i don't love it it's not for me#but i can acknowledge that other people and kids especially are enjoying it and that's good!!!#i hate being negative on here so i wasn't even gonna voice my opinion on it. but like#i personally do not really like booms n 2012s to be honest. the like digital eye thing and everything idk it's not for me#connects too they're just. not my fave. but honestly they're aesthetically very nice i think?? just not the bluetooth aspect and fart jokes#but idk it does feel like with each new model it gets further and further from the originals and ik ik that's what a redesign IS but#i do kinda wish they went back in the other direction a little idk. there's a reason why 1998s and 2005s are the most popular models#and i truly don't think it's bc they're considered retro or whatever i think it's bc they're a little out there and very unlike other toys#and the whole cutesy rainbow thing is. i totally get why some people love it!!! but you can't rlly deny that it's not really unique#but. idk. i do get both sides of the argument. personally i would have loved smth a little more adjacent to 1998s#that said. a lot of ppl do find 98s creepy and weird so from a sales perspective i get why they might not be. marketable#bc i guess a lot of kids might find them offputting#also correct me if i'm wrong but i think the 2023s have painted on eyes?? which. Don't Like.#didn't love the digital eyes either bc i keep the batteries out so they're just blank for me which is kinda boring#and i don't love the digitization of everything like �� idk. so i'm kinda glad they moved away from that#but if they're painted/printed idkkkk. i'm an eyechip girly i think they're great honestly#they're just nice to work with for customizing especially. also keep in mind w my opinions i primarily am a customizer so#i do kinda view it from that perspective#ANYWAY feel free to rb or comment or whatever and lmk ur thoughts. i genuinely do not want to get on here and be negative#or say anything that would upset anyone bc i imagine some anti 2023 furb ppl have probably been pretty nasty#honestly i haven't been online much at all so idk but i can imagine 😭 i ain't wanna come on here and be like BOOOO I HATE IT#i don't hate it tbh i just don't love it yk. but i'm not gonna shit on people who do love it
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how did I forgor Mad Max: Fury Road (2015) when I had to list my favourite movies here recently
#seriously if you haven't seen it it's a ridiculous piece of work#and I can't believe it's only 120 minutes long#ok let me be a nerd about this movie for a minute:#it was like cooking in the director's brain for literal decades and that's why it has an insane amount of worldbuilding built in#you don't have to see the previous 3 mad max movies to somehow also understand this world and everything that's going on#and yet it barely takes any time to sit you through long boring exposition chunks?#Like it RESPECTS the audience's intelligence enough to be like 'you guys are smart you will figure it out now let's get moving'#NOTHING is wasted in this movie and you pick up new cool things every time you watch#almost all of it was done practically including the vehicles and stunts INCLUDING stuff like the pole cats on the cars in the final act#in order to make the cars and props they had to build most things from a scrap yard instead of running to home depot for new parts#Every single vehicle and character down to the smallest war boy had their own backstory they made up#the only other movie I feel like i can compare this wonderful weirdness to is maybe the first 3 lotr movies#In terms of the insane work that went into it behind the scenes and the dedication to making the world come alive with so much artistry#and practical effects and years of worldbuilding and writing and the bizarre ways they had the crews bond behind the scenes#also fun fact: the director was also the guy behind Babe the pig movie and Happy Feet hahaha he's a very eclectic director to say the least#anyways now every time I see a movie that's 2.5+ hours long I'm like if Mad Max FR could be 120 mins long why can't YOU be 120 min long?#Like sorry but there's no excuse anymore. just simply get better at telling the story in 2 hours or less my guys#p
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i have two youtube accounts open as well as youtube music and each of them have a different playlist open and each playlist has like the same song in them that i keep replaying but in a different playlist
#just me hi#'why?' because i don't like scrolling to the bottom of my main playlist in ytm >:T#this thing has 200+ songs in it do you know how long it takes to load?#not long! but my patience is nonexistent for ytm lolll#+ also i keep playing the same songs even though i don't want to because i'm trying to pay attention to writing here hvfbshf#it works! but also i am So bored fshfbd#so i end up leaving the doc and sort of strolling around my computer before going back and writing 3 words. then deleting them and repeatin#i want to listen to some fun stuff but if i do that i might just completely break the thread of Focus#even though writing This has already kinda done that... hm.......#dunno!#/also want to draw right now but this is a rare moment of me actually being able to write loll#and i've gotten incredibly far! if we're referring to my personal record hdfhv#and also i don't know what i want to draw. .-.#i did a dooble page yesterday but the readability is Not great hfvs#/whyyyyyyyyyeyeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy#//i really can't tell when my tags are gonna get cut anymore like Hello !! why are they bubble-wrapped fshvs#i've said that before ik but listennn where is the Line here#//also been thinking of actually trying to make and finish an animation#i want to learn to do that but i do not like the idea of drawing the same thing 1400 times hbhvf#//OH it's gotten cooler recently!! super cool very sick :DDD#downside is that now when i run for a lil my lungs decide they're going to collapse on me for the Audacity of running in slightly chilly#weather lolll#which would be fine but man i wanna play with my siblings ffffffffvshfhh#i have to say no all the time cuz i know i won't be able to breath comfortably. sigh#which would be fine but it aggravates my cough too so ! :')#and listen. i am NOT losing a game because of some “”breathing issues“”‚ alright??#once i'm at that point it's all or nothing. these kids are GOING down#plus side though: i am so scary playing tag because i will just walk after them and still catch up#and there is nothing more fun than going slasher mode on your siblings‚ trust me hfbhs#//okey now i'm going to finish this chapter
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I am once again completely losing any interest or motivation to actually write anything 🙃🙃🙃
#it just poof! disappears! vanishes! gone! it has left the building!#I absolutely positively HAVE to write linearly I cannot go oh well I have the ideas for much later chapters so I'll start there#my brain does NOT work like that and quite frankly I hate the advice that's always like oh write the fun bits first then!#cause it's like bitch I KNOW myself I KNOW my brain I'd never finish ANYTHING#I am the ULTIMATE 'well this isn't fun anymore I'm dipping' bitch. QUEEN of hitting the bricks#and also my brain just. will not function in that way. things gotta be done in ORDER or it DOES. NOT. WORK. AT. ALL. EVEN. A LITTLE.#but I find myself getting very VERY self-conscious and outright repelled by own set-up and structuring if that makes any sense?#it's like I gotta BUILD to *the* part but when I work on the foundation and framework I'm like 🫤😟🥴#it's like oh this just sounds like boring drab info dumping bullshit#and the thing is. I know it's not! I'm not a *bad* writer. I know anyone else reading it doesn't see it as#hollow paint by numbers blah blah blah bland af shit#but to ME it feels that way#and I just lose the desire to work on anything anymore#this has been going on for MONTHS now. MONTHS. I've not been able to write ANYTHING. for MONTHS. cause of this.#this stupid weird trepidation that all my setup work is just horrid awful runny dog shit#idk where it csme from. idk why it's stuck around so long. idk how to fix it. don't think it CAN be fixed at this point.#I just don't know what I'm doing man. I used to LOVE writing fic. now I'm like lol maybe DON'T do that.#erin explains it all
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In class, we had to tell what Head/Heart/Hand stands for (it's an education concept) which the answer to is pretty obvious. Whether you had the topic before or not, you just gotta apply logic, so it's easy. Apparently not for everyone.
Teacher: What does head/heart/hand stand for?
Me: Head stands for logic, heart for passion and interest, while hand stands for practical activities.
CM A: How do you know that?
Me:
Me: Logic.
It's true for me and I can't tell whether he was serious or not, but this caused laughter.
#my classmates were laughing if it's not obvious#and CA A stands for classmate A#this is actually how I solve most problems in school (and otherwise)#i just apply logic#like a pattern#it doesn't matter which topic#if i can apply logic to it i don't need to learn#i don't learn anyways#also because of this I'm practically always bored in class#for the longest time i couldn't understand why the teachers explained so long#not everyone does it like that#logically#venting#rant post#school#classmates#school work#works#problem solving#this is a pretty easy example#but i think you get the gist of it
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Therapy isn't enough I need the CW to go back and re-film Season 11 to prove that Lucifer could have been saved if Michael didn't abandon him like Dean refused to abandon Sam.
#I'm old enough to know that some ideas are too cinematic and visual to be translated to fic and This Is One Of Them#Amara shows up and wants to eat Lucifer but Lucifer runs off comes back and tosses a bag of stuff for spellwork at Sam#Snaps his fingers and Devil's Dancefloor by Flogging Molly starts to play at an increasing volume#Someone comments that having a hype song is lame and Lucifer says YEAH IT'S REAL LAME ISN'T IT DEAN#Big knockdown fight between Lucifer and Amara and the spell banishes both but Lucifer manages to claw his way back#Michael!Adam clawed their way out of the cage but is living as Adam and Lucifer restores Michael's memories by giving back his blade#Michael and Lucifer working very poorly together but it reaches a head when they're trapped in a town Amara is going to literally devour#And Lucifer's like 'Oh we're both acts of God actually so one of us is going to have to destroy the other in Amara's general direction'#And Michael thinks it's a ploy and refuses and says Lucifer's so tainted he's not anything like what God made and Wow That's Mean#But Michael agrees thinking that sacrificing God's favored son will get dad to come back but Lucifer is genuinely afraid of death#Because angels don't get an afterlife so this has also been a narrative conversation about forgiveness outside of punishment and hell#But right before God does show up Michael has a hand inside Lucifer's glowing chest forcing his light in an attack beam at Amara#And Lucifer is crying screaming clawing growing weaker and Michael just stops and curls his free hand over the back of Lucifer's head#And he Regrets he realizes how long he's refused to let himself love his brother to serve his father and now it's the end#And not the end he prepared himself for but if he gets the freedom to love his brother and choose not to kill him maybe he chooses-#Ahahah Chuck's there now and 3V2 THERAPY TIME#WHO'S THAT IT'S JOHN WINCHESTER'S GHOST WITH A STEEL CHAIR#Anyway Supernatural was good when we still had narrative parallels and in every SamDean moment I am closing my eyes and seeing Them#S8 Sam during the Trials of God? Don't you mean Lucifer begging his brother to help him bear the mark before it warps him?#listen I'll shut up when someone tells me WHY DIDN'T LUCIFER GET TO GO APESHIT ABOUT DEAN DESTROYING THE MARK#LUCIFER BORE THE MARK FOR EONS SO DID CAIN THE MARK RUINED BOTH OF THEM#AND DEAN GETS TO TOSS IT AFTER A YEAR???? AND LUCIFER SAYS NOTHING??????????????????????????????#Not even a “Well now I know how Michael would have done with the mark”
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they will need to whipstitch the wound closed, but embroidery is a "woman's" task. they will need to eat and clean and mend clothes, but why learn basic things when you can have a woman measure out your life in beads. he will be the "head" of your house, but if you want him to act accordingly, you must assign him a list of all applicable activities. you will be otherwise constantly in charge of almost-everything; so he will lead the house he is absent from.
in movies and books, the "cool" girl will be more-like-a-man. she will be "less boring," more "fun". she will have masculine ideas and masculine talents, which means a man doesn't have to change in order to find her fascinating. she will disdain of something as simple as stitching. how boring!
she will kick open the door of a car and quip what, girls can't drive? and flip her long hair down one side. she will grill and shoot a gun and skydive. be a guy. she will be sexualized.
somewhere, working on computers becomes a masculine task, and now on tv a gen-z disney character throws her hands up in the air. i can't be a computer science nerd, i'm a girl! in the real life, she will be unable to sit through some of her classes, shivering when she realizes she is the only woman present in several of them.
how many times have you read this book and seen this show and watched this movie. the singular woman is allowed 5 lines because she's not just smart! she's also pretty! she is surrounded by 20 average men, but she is stunning. she is the exception to the bland, pale lives of women-at-home, who will never be shown. she likes dirt and motorbikes and blood and shows up in a tiny dress during the final scene, rolling her eyes at our male lead's incredulity - just because i like motorcross doesn't mean anything. i'm still a woman, okay? i actually like shopping.
it is almost never reversed, and you think about that often. it is vanishingly rare to have a single man in a cast of women. the male love interest does not show up at a feminist march and sardonically squint at our leading lady - what? you thought only women care about human rights? he does not know how to balance a checkbook or kickbox because i grew up with three sisters.
when he cooks he is a chef, which is sexy. when he cleans, he's being kind, genteel. when he nurtures his family, confetti rains from the ceiling. when she does these things: it is her duty and her identity. what do you mean she has other passions and hobbies? isn't her hobby and passion homemaking?
the other day a friend embroidered a seam closed on your jacket into the shape of ivy. every time you touch it, you think of her.
something about women's hobbies and art and skills. something about women's work.
#this makes no sense bc i got too mad :)#writeblr#warm up#i'm workin on something else as a thank u to a friend :) just up early and#honestly thinking of fuckken eloise from bridgerton#she was like. 80% the antagonist this season. girl . ''oh nooooo colin is engaged to penny!!''#girl shut up ur a feminist and ur friend is standing there saying shes about to be SOLD
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