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nautilusopus · 1 year ago

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20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @subdee, may as well since it's been a while

1. How many works do you have on ao3?

2. What’s your total ao3 word count?

590,973

3. What fandoms do you write for?

FFVII mostly, but none of that spinoff bullshit. I have some stuff for XV in the works despite hating XV and the characters having zero fucking personality because this is just my grieving process I guess??? They're basically all crossovers with VII except one though so ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I've also got a couple things for Spy X Family I'm excited for but unfortunately am a bit hamstrung due to certain reveals and lack of reveals so it's on pause.

(Also Ever Crisis and Remake back to back have sucked all the fucking joy out of me in one fell swoop so I'm trying to remember why I even fucking like doing this when FFVII has effectively been erased.)

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

1)The Number I.

Go read it. I worked hard on it and it's very dense and heavily character-driven and a genfic focused on plot, and, most importantly, is complete. I'm going to shill this one directly I ain't give a damn:

Predominately involves Cloud, now four years out from Meteorfall, struggling to adjust to civilian life given he's still gene-spliced with an Old God, who begins losing control of his body to a heretofore seemingly unknown entity with inscrutable goals. As it gradually becomes clear that the events of the previous four years aren't as they seem in more ways than one, things start to go off the rails completely as Cloud winds up enmeshed in conflict between multiple parties: an international initiative studying cosmology and the two doctors leading it; the WRO, who has considered him a Jenova-based liability from day one; interpersonal friction with his newfound family stemming from the residual baggage of everything he went through; and reality itself beginning to deteriorate.

It's slice of life, it's cosmic horror, it's a character study, it's about grown men crying and legacies and grief and trauma and intimacy and autonomy and gender as a microcosm for broader truths about the nature of the self, it's got angry tearful fistfights, bottoms that haven't figured out you can take it in turn to service top, Cloud telling everyone his strong and correct opinions about magic and materia and bikes, found family shenanigans, and me talking about garlic for way way way too long. Something for everyone!

I wasn't kidding about any of that by the way, heed the warnings at the top of the chapters because I do NOT pull punches and we get into some heavy shit. Go hard or go home.

Originally it was a 500 word pee joke I was gonna show to two people in response to a terrible LTD argument I saw someone make and was sure I'd "wrap it up quickly". Oops.

2) An Idiot's Guide to Holding Hands. I wrote this in response to, I'm not kidding, the worst most hateful fanfiction I have ever fucking seen in my life. As big of a beef as I have with the Crisis Core fuckers treating the women like shit and being pretty hateful towards them as a whole, they're still at least clearly writing because they genuinely love Crisis Core and the characters in it for reasons that are presently unknown to me. This thing on the other hand was oozing contempt for the cast of VII and Evangelion and the women in particular and I genuinely don't know why someone would put that much fucking effort into making something like this and felt a sudden need to rebut everything it stood for. It's not super great as a fic tbh but y'all seem to like it so at least something came of it.

3) Don't Ask How The Job Interview Went. Harry Potter/VII crossover I shat out in like 6 hours on a whim because a Halloween prompt one year was "witches and wizards" and I hated all the existing crossovers (ugh again with the crisis core). Honestly had an entire multichapter fic as a sequel lined up that I was pretty excited for but as things went on I felt grosser and grosser about even making it. Maybe I'll do something with the outline one day, it was basically finished. Still kills me that this thing is so fucking popular but there you go.

4) What's Dead and Buried. This is literally just Chapter 18 of The Number I (which you should go read!). I wrote it, realised it worked great as a standalone fic and gateway drug, and published it as its own thing. If you're on the fence about TNI, maybe check out this oneshot. Features shitty gremlin child Cloud interacting with Vincent and a lot of grim implications about both their lives that Cloud is too young to really get. Very very black comedy.

5) Adjacent. I don't like this one sorry. It was a commission and while I like the individual headcanons of freaky shit Cloud is inclined to do and was chomping at the bit to use them somewhere I don't like how they wound up getting utilised. Feels like generic fandom fluff to me. I'd delete it but people seem to enjoy it and I don't want to take that from them.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always and as soon as I possibly can! I'm immensely flattered people actually take the time to comment on stuff and I enjoy getting to talk about the stuff I wrote in a bit more depth.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

It's Full of Stars easily. Fucked that dude up beyond repair. Also was considering a sequel for this one too so I could explore some of the stuff fueling what the fuck is going on here, though that might obviously ruin the ambiguity of said ending and what exactly was done to him.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I'm a big baby I actually almost always try for happy endings, or at least bittersweet. Probably Tidewaters, nobody even gets pulped in that one.

8. Do you get hate on fic?

Basically no. I've gotten five negative comments in all the years I've been doing this:

Two were people whinging about how I made Aeris Jewish in a fic and how that was reverse racist against Christians (die mad about it lol).

Two were someone that wanted an in-depth essay over my right to use a slur within the context of a character talking about people calling him that slur in a character arc partially about feeling alienated from gender and basically demanded I out myself to "prove" I could use it while missing literally everything about why that word would be used to where they felt the need to send that shit to begin with (gee thanks did you do it did you make the queers feel comfortable). Reading comprehension is so so important you are all going to kill me.

The last one was a long six paragraph rant completely unrelated to the fic in any way because I joked in the author's notes about not liking a video game that they liked(????), followed by an even longer ten paragraph rant about how actually the unrelated game was "95% perfect" (lmaoooo) and how "5% of it being bad isn't a good reason to hate it". The first half of it's on there, I deleted the second comment because my fanfiction comments are not the fucking gamefaqs forums dude. (Also die mad about it lol.) That remains to this day the only comment I've ever deleted from any of my fics and that includes the one that literally just said "penis" and nothing else.

9. Do you write smut?

If you squint lol. TNI has a couple sex scenes in it. They're uh

they're in it.

Boy are they in it.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Hell yeah I do. Also I'm a purist about this term A CROSSOVER IS WHEN YOU CROSS THE TWO THINGS OVER BUT THEY ARE STILL THEIR OWN DISPARATE THINGS. A FUSION IS WHEN THE TWO SETTINGS ARE FUSED. WORDS MEAN THINGS. ALSO A DRABBLE IS 100 WORDS EXACTLY NO MORE NO LESS. I'LL KEEP SITTING ON THIS PORCH SHAKING MY FIST AT THESE CHILDREN UNTIL THEY FUCKING LEARN.

Anyway I'll dump FFVII on everything and nobody can stop me. FFXV. Mass Effect. Spy X Family. Aliens. Ellen Ripley can, should, must, and will fight Jenova with a power loader.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nah I talk a big game but I ignore the Comp too hard to break into the mainstream. I'm small potatoes.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nah and no surprises why. Shit's too wordy.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Kiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind of? Fuck I gotta finish that thing.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

meh. Does Loid/Yor even count? Everyone keeps writing it wrong and we still haven't seen the penny drop but it's sweet in its extremely fucking dysfunctional way (which is the best way GO READ TNI COUGH COUGH).

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but probably won’t?

Frame-Perfect. Should not have started writing before finishing the damn outline, don't know how to resolve this thing without it being a massive downer any way you slice it. This is why you should never pants VARETH.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue babyyyyyyy. I literally won an award for it once lol. Probably also psychological horror. Those two things combined means there's a lot of stream of consciousness shit in nearly everything I do, and if that's not your jam you probably won't like it.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

It is so, so hard to get a character from a location to another location. It shouldn't be hard. Why is it hard??? I should be allowed to just go And then he went, in exactly that cadence every time and everyone should just deal with it UGH

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Extremely hit or miss and you can almost always tell if the person in question doesn't speak it. Use sparingly because you are playing with fire.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

FFVII. The Number I is technically my first fanfiction ever, actually!

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Either TNI obviously, but also as a whole either Replacements or Tidewaters. Replacements I whipped up on the spot day-of in a few hours on a whim and it basically turned out perfect???? I've never been able to replicate that before or since. Tidewaters is Cloud Yuffie Nanaki shenanigans which I love, and I was shocked and horrified to learn I'm basically the entire tag of that as far as that's concerned (I'm working on rectifying that I promise shhhh).

Everyone I know that writes was already tagged basically uhhhhhhh

@varethinsilico, @denebolaleo-ffwriter, @spectroscopes, @terror-billie, @jenovacomplete, anyone else who wants to take a crack at this pretend I tagged you.

#spitegarbage #tni #asks

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legiomiam · 2 years ago

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Tagged by @awritingcaitlin x8 PART 2 OF 4. my words are: flicker, work, back, know, afternoon, history, unfortunate, breath, message, bright

I’ll tag: @samplewriting, @turnips-creates, @winglesswriter

your words are: turn, rummage, scream, pet, snow

Some backstory: these are going to be from scenes I did before This Dark And Divine Place was nothing but vibes. When Rashka and Bahram (guess who found out they were spelling their own character’s name wrong) were just starting out.

Some character’s names were changed- any form of Verrance/Verence/Varence, etc are Klaas. Sonya is Marjorie. Neecey/Neesy is the nickname the kids gave to Synthian before she had a name.

Also the tense shifts ALOT because I did not write any of this in order and bounced around so this isn’t stuff A to Z it’s just scenes I wrote for sprinting to get a feel of the story. So when the timer ran out I stopped writing the scene.

I’ll apply appropriate warnings… but most of this is probably NSFW

☙❦❧

FLICKER

I heard a chirp and my body stilled, Reign had made that coo, that littlest of noises but it was enough that Varrence dropped the little girl and his eyes flickered around the room. Searching for anything that would have given that melodic noise, that tone of the fair folk that came from his enemy, and my child’s father.

He took a step towards me head tilting with that blank searching stare and I steeled myself against his invasiveness. Where I knew he still couldn’t get into my mind he could shout into it with such cruel images, such overpowering vileness that I could slip up and send back something just to make it stop.

I kept my eyes on the child and with a slow creeping understanding she made a chirp much like what my son did and Verrance whirled around, fangs ready as he spit, her blood staining his front.

☙❦❧

WORK

I touch one lone petal as I stare out the window, I spent days in this room, Verrance not wanting anyone to see me since the night he had forcibly taken me in the library. The bruises on my arms slowly fading thanks to the monitored blood intake I was under. Punishment for denying Varrence anything, he always gets what he wants.

MY hair hung limply and my stomach churned from hunger. And all I did was stare out the window, stare and miss my home with my parents.

Stare and watch everyone come and go through the gates to the Bear’s Keep, watch Verance go out and smile and woo others, knowing I could see him from where I was.

He wanted to break me and it was working.

The knocking broke me out of my daydream of fields and trees, the rushing river that headed up north.

I turned to the door and Sonya bounced in, her skirts swaying and the curls her hand maids have pinned for her. Her pale blue dress making the paleness of her skin stand out a little more than normal. I start to look back out the window when her nasally laugh rings through my room.

“Rashaka, dear you are looking a bit,” she sniffs and looks me up and down. I can’t bring myself to care about her, even though the blood in her was making my mouth start to water. With a clap of her hands young girls barely clothed entered the room.

☙❦❧

BACK

I thrust forward my ribs burning from my bruised side, the scream that tore through my throat was feral as the guards halted in their tracks. Ice, freezing and solid as a rock, shot up from the ground slicing the walk way into me and them.

My fangs dug into my lower lip as I grit my teeth focused on the tremendous power coursing through me. Maybe, just maybe, I would take up Bahram up on his training once I was free.

Wind shot up and I backed up to the ledge, my eyes briefly opening to glare at Varrence before I launched myself off the side.

Freedom, even if it kills me. Even if I never got to see my parents again.

The wind whipped my hair around my face and I savored the fall before icy cold water filled my nose as my body crashed into the water. I let the current take me down stream as I counted until I felt I couldn’t go without air any longer.

☙❦❧

KNOW

“I want to be married to you.” I cupped a lily bud, giving it a kiss before pulling away to look at him. “I want everything I can get from you.”

He stared intently at the iridescent leaves considering my words for a few minutes before his dark eyes slid over to me. “What you are suggesting is considered treason to your counsul isn’t it?”

A tentative finger reaches out to stroke the leaf in front of him, eyes moving back to stare at a curled bud that shimmered just enough to symbolize newness and growth. My heart races and I reach out my hands to cup his face, bringing his forehead close to mine, I rest my brow gently on his and let the tears roll down my cheeks.

“It would be treasonous to let us not continue, I love you more than any goddess would know. More than my own grandmother loved her vampyre or any fae that sprung up from the barren world she let them thrive in.” I tilt my head a little, just enough to place a quick kiss to his lips. “The council can burn and I will be the one to do it. Just say the words and I will belong to you wholly. Every little dark crevice that makes up my blood, my mind, my body. All of that they can take and I will still be yours even when I am a whisper of nothing.”

His hands cup my face to let his thumbs wipe away my tears before he embraces me with one arm around me. Using the one still on my face to tilt my head to kiss me back.

☙❦❧

BREATH

“But what is the word of Fae to Vampyres?” A harsh breathy laugh as he pulled at his hair, “dammit. It’s just, it’s good to be me. To see my friends, my sister, just be them. No hunting down anything that could kill us, no needing to be alert. Other than the occasional mishaps I could even forget that—” he stopped flinching, not realizing how much closer to me he had gotten.

“Forget what? That I am a vampyre?” I hiss, letting my fangs slide down into place over my teeth, it’s a show but he tenses. Whatever joking nature we had earlier it was now gone. Lost because I am what I am and he is what he is.

“Shit, I forget just how beautiful you are sometimes.” I go still and his eyes slide over my face.

“What,” I choke out on an unsteady breath.

#tag game #find the word #godly ruins #this dark and divine place

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aceofvernons · 1 year ago

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15 questions, 15 mutuals

taged by @boochans ty for tagging me in so much stuff ilysm <333

1. are you named after anyone?

my name xanthe specifically has xanthe huynh as my namesake, she's a voice actor for a couple of my favorite characters and i also love the name so much ^^

2. when was the last time you cried?

earlier today, i was watching a game with a couple of my friends and we were all voice acting for it and we just finished the game today. there was a scene near the end of the game where two characters reunite after a really long time and it was very touching. the game is 'super lesbian animal rpg' if anyone is interested! (yes that is the actual name of the game)

3. do you have kids?

nope. not going to have any either. closest thing i have to one is my lovely demon winry, who's black and white and fluffy ♡

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah i'd say so. i think i used to be snarkier when i was younger, but i'm still full of quips sometimes.

5. what sports do you play/have played?

ah, i haven't really played any sports formally, but i used to take taekwondo in middle school! sometimes i really do miss taking a martial art

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

their clothes and how tall they are!

7. what's your eye color?

dark brown, if i didn't like dyeing my hair so often i'd be subject to the 'my hair and eyes are basically the same color' curse. it's not really a bad thing though imo i just like messing with my hair

8. scary movies or happy endings?

happy endings! i am unfortunately an overly anxious weenie who's got very little stomach for horror depite being one myself (/hj)

9. any special talents?

i think this counts more as a skill, but i've gotten really good at calculating time differences when i became friends with people who lived in different time zones from me. i also (roughly) remember the time differences of most places in the world from me. if that doesn't count as a special talent i also have the ability to recognize like every seventeen song ever for whatever that's worth.

10. where were you born?

i was born in one of the probably dozens of cities that surround los angeles, california. i still live in the area now, but it's massive so this doesn't mean much.

11. what are your hobbies?

i love playing video games, writing, reading, listening to music, and attempting to become the color blue. (the last one is only partially a joke)

12. do you have any pets?

i do!!! i mentioned her in #3 but her name's winry, she's 6, and she loves committing crimes against me but she's so lovely that i can't stay mad at her for long ♡

13. how tall are you?

i'm 5'0 or 152cm! the odds were stacked against me for my height, my body pushed me to the five foot mark then gave up ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

14. favorite subject in school?

uh, history? i guess? science classes were fun too when i wasn't being bombarded with numbers

15. dream job?

i really want to work as a researcher of some kind, helping people and maybe writing some studies. i wrote one in my most recent semester of college, and just the process of putting together information and trying to prove something new is really interesting. realistically though i just want a job that will be kind to my neurodivergent and disabled ass (doubtful)

i'm leaving this as open taglist because it's 3 am and i stopped doing a project for today and i ache from it </3 if anyone sees this and thinks it's interesting enough to do, consider yourself tagged ♡ but i probably will be going to bed after this

#xan.txt #tag games #getting hit with both big sleepy and back n body hurts

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watermelonlovershigh · 3 years ago

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25 Things I Believe Harry Does for You When You're Sick

AN: i got the inspiration to create this from @finelinevogue except they made one about sex. they or someone else could have made a sick list that i'm unaware of but either way, this is my own take on it so i'm not coping anyone. also, i plan to create a list about things you do when Harry is sick and i may create one on what you and Harry do when your kid(s) are sick. just let me know if you'd be interested in that. (and these situations are not in any order as far as the type of sickness. they are in order at random, whenever a scenario popped into my head.)

This contains: talks of vomit, talks of crying, talks of high fevers, naked boobs

{ husband!harry - married for a year - any solo Harry era - no kids yet }

word count: 1105

25 things Harry does for you when you get sick in different scenarios.

1. Makes sure to never leave you alone and stays with you the entire time, afraid something may happen in the mere seconds he's gone.

2. Sets a four to six hour timer on his phone to remind him its time to give you your next dose of medicine.

3. Wakes up periodically through-out the night and uses the thermometer that just hovers over your forehead so he doesn't have to disrupt your sleeping body, but also makes sure your fever never gets too high.

4. When you mention you have a slight tummy ache, not necessary nauseous but just crampy or feeling a bit upset, Harry will place his big hand flat on your belly and rub soothing circles over your stomach until it settles.

5. Just sit on the cold, hard, bathroom floor with you when you're feeling nauseous and say you must be by a toilet in fear you'll actually be sick. It may hurt Harry's bum and back, but nevertheless is by your side the entire time. Day or night.

6. Gathers your hair in a ponytail as you're throwing up in the toilet, so your hair doesn't get in the way of your gushing vomit.

7. If you have an actual virus and unfortunately are unable to stop puking, Harry will put your hair in one of his signature messy buns (the kind he'd wear when he had long hair), allowing him to hold a cool, wet cloth on the back of your neck and help with your cold sweats that occur.

8. When you have a high fever, he'll strip all your cloths off (except your panties), much to your disliking because you're shivering, and make you lay in bed like that. Just under the blankets with your panties on. No top so your breast are on full display. Well under the covers but nevertheless free from clothes.

9. Remind you that when he married you, he vowed In Sickness and In Health, every time you try and push him away, saying you don't want to get him sick too.

10. Brings a bowl of cold water to the bed where you're laying and dips a washcloth into it, wrings it out, and pats it all over your body when your fever is extremely high and you can't even get proper sleep because of it. (the step Harry takes after stripping your clothes didn't work)

11. When you have a migraine, Harry will shut off all the lights and close all the curtains in the bedroom so it's completely dark. Then he'll get into bed with you and hold you close while you attempt to sleep it off.

12. In the case you accidently puke on the floor (like you didn't make it to the toilet in time), he'll grab all the necessary supplies and clean your sick up off the floor, even though he has weak stomach when handling sick throw up.

13. And when you do puke on the floor by accident, you'll usually end up crying from embarrassment and Harry will comfort you by saying stuff like, "My love, its okay. You couldn't help it." or "Baby, no need to cry. You're just sick is all. I'm not mad. I'll clean it up."

14. When you aren't exactly sick but just aren't feeling well, Harry will cuddle you on the couch, a big fluffy blanket on the both of you, and you'll watch movies until you end up falling asleep on his chest and he then carries you up to bed.

15. When one of your friends knock on yours and Harry's front door in the late hours of the night, bringing you home from a girls-night out, and tells Harry you've kind of been sick on yourself, he'll take your drunken body up the stairs and strip off all your clothes until you're completely naked. Then he'll get naked himself and set you on the shower floor to help wash the vomit from your hair and body with the detachable shower head.

16. Cook you homemade chicken soup when you come down with a common cold.

17. Will insist on feeding you the soup he cooked with a spoon, you sitting upright in bed.

18. Holds you to his body when you start crying out that you feel like you're gonna be sick but don't want to be. Harry will say something like, "It's okay if you need to be sick, love. It's better out than in." or "Y/n, if you get sick it might make your stomach feel better. How about we go in the bathroom and you try for me."

19. Will drop what he's doing and come pick you up from your job when you get sick at work.

20. On the way home from picking you up from work because you're sick, Harry will pull off to the side of the road when you moan you're about to throw up. Once stopped, you fling your door open and he quickly steps out the drivers seat and walks around the car to be at your side and comfort you as you're bent over and puking on the grass.

21. On a day that you have sweated from a fever or a cold sweat, he'll run you a warm bath and depending on if you want him to or not, will get into the tub with you and gently helps you bathe off. If you request to be in the tub alone, he'll knell outside the bathtub and bathe you from there.

22. Make sure you keep hydrated at all times, afraid you'll get dehydrated from puking or sweating off your bodies water.

23. Force you to eat something even though you beg Harry not to make you because you fear you'll just throw it back up. And in the cases you do end up throwing the food he made you eat back up, he'll place a bucket in your lap so you don't have to make a run for it to the bathroom.

24. Goes to the store in the middle of the night and picks you up some cold medicine. Along with a box of tissues for your runny nose and some Powerade for your hydration. Maybe even pick up a stuffed animal for you to snuggle.

25. In the case that Harry is in the studio when you get sick, as soon as you call him, he drops everything and comes home immediately to care for you.

My Masterlist Masterpost

#harry styles #harrystyles #harry styles sicfic #sicfic #harry styles fanfiction #bullet points #list #husbnad!harry #husbandandwife #sick #cold #flu #sickness #harry styles comfort #harry x reader #fanfiction #fanfic #harry styles scenarios

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phoenixyfriend · 4 years ago

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Thoughts on “Auntie Soka and Little Leia” now that I’ve actually got it posted:

Call it a director’s cut! The process of actually writing the thing, and also jokes made along the way. Link to the actual fic.

Unfortunately, I don’t have the energy for image descriptions, even the text screenshots. Might come back that later. Most of this was DMs with @atagotiak.

This was an entire thing before I even started writing:

Before I decided on ages and stuff Ahsoka, to Jango, who has had zero contact with Kaminoans: Okay I know I'm a Jedi kid so you hate me but this toddler is your clone from the future. Jango, tired: What the FUCK are you talking about. Rex, barely able to talk: Don't you dare leave me with him, Commander! Ahsoka: I'm not going to leave you I just--I'm so tired I'm so fucking tired I haven't slept in five days and someone tried to kidnap Leia two days ago I am so fucking tired I need help

Ben: [twenty years of depression followed by a 'now I'm safe' breakdown over the course of weeks] Sokari: [whatever the FUCK this mess is]

When Ahsoka mentions there only being three other Jedi at the time of her death, I was thinking Kanan, Yoda, and Obi-Wan (Leia told her about the latter two living past her). She's not counting anyone that received training after the Temple fell, and she didn’t know about Cal.

When Leia says “I was adopted and raised by one of the founders of the rebellion, a movement built on the desire to instate freedom and democracy in a galaxy that had lost even the pretense.”

Depa: I'm no therapist but I diagnose you with "incredibly fucked up." Ahsoka: yeah, that’s fair

"Why did you pick Depa for--" She's pretty and I'm gay. Also because of the Kanan thing But mostly I'm gay "It's not a visual medi--" GAY

Empty of context beyond general post-fic AU: "Hey Sokari, we need to engage in psychological warfare against this individual and--" "I'm going to break into his office and leave a threatening note on his desk and leave no other sign that I was there. He'll see that his security is nothing and the only reason he isn't dead is because I'm too nice to kill him." "...okay, not what we were planning, but that works. Why is that your first choice?" "I really like breaking and entering, it's soothing." Ben just standing there with a bland smile like This Is Normal.

"We need someone to infiltrate a highly guarded facility in hostile territory." "So we're sending the Torrent kids?" [sigh] "We're sending the Torrent kids."

Rex and Sokari insist on both going by "Torrent" even though Rex could be a Fett. Jango really wants him to be a Fett. Rex has too many grudges to agree to being a Fett for... a while.

I really hope it's blatantly obvious that Ahsoka's not a reliable narrator for some things Ahsoka: Fett could care less if I died Jango: jfc even if you are older than me I can see you're fucked up. Drink your hot chocolate. Hells. She's got good reason to expect him to hate her as a Jedi! BUT. THAT IS NOT REFLECTIVE OF REALITY

We don’t get a lot of actual characterization for Jango, but the way I played him out here is he has never really parsed that Jedi are people before all this. It's a lot harder to treat them as a monolith when the traumatized former child soldier is having regular breakdowns in your shitty little kitchen

Fett: I respect you Ahsoka: No, don't do that

Ahsoka’s vigilantism is something that, in my mind, she's associating heavily with Zygerria and then the clones.

I figured that she never bothered to learn Quinlan’s teacher’s name but in the process of looking up some basic facts (whether he had a surname), I found that Wookiepedia was forced to give us a VERY wide range of possible death in Legends.

Please take a moment to imagine Quinlan's FACE when Ahsoka initially dismisses him. Quinlan has put a lot of effort into being rogueishly charming! It's very useful for his line of work! He knows to expect either irritation or a return flirtation when he acts like this with people his own age! Ahsoka is not flustered OR rolling her eyes and insulting him, she's just ignoring him and it's a bit of a blow to the ego

This just makes me really happy:

This was the initial comment I made, as a joke What if Maul is just. There. On one of the planets they make a pitstop at. What if Maul exists as the walking problem he is, but fifteen, and Ahsoka immediately tries to kick his ass and drag him back to Coruscant. I do not have room for this plot but What If

Despite not having room for this plot, I proceeded to write this plot.

Maul is kidnapped and it’s the best thing that ever happened to him HE'S FIFTEEN HE'S DUMB AS SHIT AND HAS A BAD ATTITUDE AND YEAH HE'S A DARKSIDER BUT HE'S FIFTEEN

Ahsoka: I sense... Maul [takes off sprinting] Rex: [immediately takes Jango's blaster and runs after her] Jango: Wait who Tholme: Who Quinlan: Who Jango: [looks at Leia] Leia: I don't know who that is either! Ahsoka, already wrestling a teenager to the ground: Oh no, you're a child, REX STUN HIM AND GRAB THE CUFFS, I'M SURE FETT OR THOLME HAS SOME

Fighting him isn't even legal, they have NO evidence of criminal wrongdoing, so first she needs to yell until he admits to something she can fight him about

Ahsoka: When I see Maul, it's on SIGHT Maul: WHO ARE YOU

Ahsoka: The Force didn't give me hands just to NOT throw them when I run into That Crafty Son Of A Bitch

Ben, when they arrive, after the tearful reunion: You... you brought Maul. Ahsoka: Well, yeah, he's fifteen and kinda dumb. I figured we could drag him here and force him into therapy, see what happens. Ben: I can't quite tell through the gag, but I think he's threatening to feed you your own spleen. Ahsoka: Lol, yeah.

Ben is absolutely on team "get Maul therapy" and will fight the Council on rehabilitating the baby Sith But also it's like. Here's your daughter! And your niece! And your daughter's QPP! Also your best friend, but baby, and his teacher, and the biological origin of a number of people you cared for deeply! AND ALSO THE GUY WHO SPENT LITERAL DECADES CRAVING YOUR DEATH, FOR SOME REASON

I just really want Ahsoka lovingly bullying Maul She gives him noogies and the horns don't protect him because girl has reinforced gloves

Maul's only allowed a low-power training saber and his fights with Sokari involve Much Taunting by her and Eventual Screaming by him, and everyone pops by to see: 1. Sokari doing the most absurd flips, for fun. 2. The bullshit that is ataru-shien reverse-grip jar'kai in the hands of someone who makes it work 3. What a Sith lightsaber form looks like 4. Just the general nonsense that is the way these two fight

Tia said “Wrt ridiculous flips. I'm remembering that time she beheaded four Kryst'ad at once.” and I just Rex brings up the quadruple beheading at one point to get someone to stop asking questions and the awkward, horrified silence almost makes him regret it. And then Sokari just snorts and makes a joke about how Rex once speared a slaver point-blank and everyone's just like hello??? "are you two okay" "no"

Maul absolutely starts crushing on Sokari after a 'sword under chin' moment and she's just very "Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh you're fifteen, bye" GO MAKE PUPPY EYES AT OBI-WAN OR SOMETHING

The crushes are the worst part of everything, really, she's an attractive young woman that can kick a lot of ass, and a lot of people are into that! Unfortunately, most of those people are a decade younger than she is, mentally, because all the people her actual age look at her and see a child on account of the 17yo body.

It’s almost a good thing she’s in no place mentally for a relationship.

I just want Ahsoka to wear beskar.... I think that would be Nice........

This AU is also what caused this post.

I'm deeply enamored by the idea that Ahsoka can win fights against "older" padawans pretty much unilaterally, even when they team up 2v1 And then she offers to fight 5v1 "But only if I have permission to fight dirty." Ben approves it, a horror show full of "I fought many wars and will scream in your face or kick you in the balls if that's what it takes" follows She wins. There are no permanent injuries, but her reputation certainly gets weirder. Nobody under the rank of Knight agrees to let her fight dirty again. She just lets that stand because, well, she's not actually a padawan, she's thirty-three.

I’m not going to write this but my brain was EVIL and suggested it:

IT WOULD BE REALLY SAD IDK maybe 9yo Anakin has nightmares about what's happening to baby Ahsoka because bullshit about time-traveling force bonds IDK ANYWAY he cries to Sokari about the nightmares and she's like "oh shit" and it's time to go rescue herself from motherfucker unlimited

It's either that or she's like, expecting to welcome mini-me aaaany day now, for like, several months, before she realizes Something Went Wrong. Anakin’s dreams could even start right as she’s starting to realize something’s off.

Obi-Wan has never had a padawan that doesn't at some point bite Even Luke will, when pushed

OH also once the twins get Baby's First Lightsaber (training sabers, not real kyber), Sokari begs to borrow them for a dumb joke and tells Rex to get on her shoulders for a "Grievous Greeting" and they do The Thing

Jango and Ahsoka wrt Quinlan is just “Do I need to beat him up for you” “You realize I’ve beaten up sith lords before?”

JANGO'S TRYING He's just. "Can we be friends? Can I--can I be the guy that just noticeably gets in the way of a creep on the subway so you can be more comfortable without someone making a scene? I'm fucking trying here, give me a hint."

We didn’t actually figure out Jango’s age until this point. The only reason Fett's age matters is for Quinlan making a Wild Oats quip after Jango says he didn't know about Rex until a few weeks ago, and Fett going "How old do you think I am? And how old do you think the kid is?" and Quinlan getting Very Awkward as he does the math. Rex overhears and lets Quinlan sweat for a bit before saying "I'm a genetically-modified clone someone grew in a tube, he didn't know or have reason to know until he saw me with Sokari." Which is like. Eight additional layers of WTF, obviously, but at least Jango gets to avoid awkward wild oats jokes

Like, you’d expect the rebuttal to be ‘he’s my brother just with a biiig age gap’ or ‘he’s my nephew’

I find it very unfortunate for Quinlan that I've decided his defining characteristic in this context is going to be repeatedly putting his foot in his mouth

He’s trying so hard but "That sounds like a cool thing, maybe I'll ask ab--and it's another fucking trauma."

I'm doing Ahsoka&Jango t w i c e (there’s another fic where I’m doing it)

It’s just a fun dynamic! So much resentful respect.

Like she's twenty seconds away from calling him a bitch at any given time and he's just there like "I don't like you but I do see you move like you're about to tell an entire building to get on their knees with their hands in the air and I can respect that" Also she's probably much less judgmental about using blasters than Obi-Wan is The Maul subplot actually started with me daydreaming about Ahsoka grabbing a blaster for Reasons

I like the idea of Jango just deciding the most Useful thing he can do is help teach the Smol how to fight. He's AWKWARD around Rex and Soka because he doesn't know if there's anything he CAN teach them.

I didn’t actually plan for Tholme to figure out the age thing, he just SAID it and I had to sit there like Wait.

Ahsoka, Rex & Leia: ahhh, children Tholme: you say that like you aren’t children

I liked getting to write Rex's little "I have worked with all of them, and they're all Terrible" He loves them But They once got stranded on a planet that didn’t exist and Ahsoka died and Anakin killed a god.

There was research and discussion as to whether Ahsoka could win against Tholme but seeing as she held her own against Vader, and fought Grievous at that physical age without dying, etc.... yeah, the only thing holding her back was her body not being what she was used to, and she’s had a few weeks go adjust.

“I miss being able to just jump off skyscrapers” is such a jedi thing

Jango: I'll take the gun back if he tries to leave, they can't get far before--WHAT THE FUCK He knows Jedi are scary but he’s still not really used to just how over the top ridiculous they are He knows how to deal with Jedi in battle, not Whatever The Fuck These People Are Doing

Rex isn't even a Jedi, he's just so used to working with them. “Oh yes time for free-falling without a parachute again, same shit as always.”

Tia: I’m imagining Jango freaking out and Quinlan and Tholme being like. Concerned but mostly exasperated Clearly if they’re jumping off buildings it must be serious? But jfc they could’ve maybe communicated a bit more?

Leia: I want to finish my juice Tholme: Quin, stay with her while we go figure out what those two are doing. Quinlan: Wait what

Jango: Oh now he’s jumping off a building too??? Tholme: Sokari, you are not registered! You can't legally jump out windows yet! Jango: What the hell is going on? Is this normal?

We don’t necessarily know how often Ahsoka and Maul ran into each other after Mandalore. There was the later thing on Malachor, but other than that I'm just going with the idea that they ran into each other every year or two and just went for the eyes like feral cats

Ahsoka: I need to kick ass and you're coming with me. Rex: Yeah, okay. [several minutes later] Rex: Whose ass are we kicking?

Ahsoka and Rex

Neloms aren’t a SW fruit to the best of my knowledge, I just wanted to mess around with lemons/melons

Jango: you didn’t think any of this through, did you? Rex: you were there, you know we didn’t "When the Jedi says to jump out a window, I jump out a window."

Tholme’s real composed about stalking the ancient nigh-mythical enemy of his people, very “Life is already so goddamn weird”

This fic has been so heavy on the trauma but then I introduce Maul and suddenly it's the worst kind of comedy Nobody is competent, everyone's a little dumb, the bad guy is just grocery shopping

My propensity for banter has turned this into a six-person buddy cop comedy about Maul buying grapes They spend a significant amount to time ineffectually stalking Maul before Quin suggests the sensible option Quinlan just "You remember this is my literal job and specialty right"

Ahsoka sees Maul and all her brain cells go out the window except "Fight good" Usually she doesn’t need to worry about doing things legally. Maybe she needs to worry about someone seeing her do illegal things but she spent the past 15 yrs in a place where her existing was illegal

I feel like he’s also maybe kinda wanting to reassert that yes he is competent. Bc like. Ahsoka’s been kinda condescending this whole time and also can beat everyone up so. It's not his fault that he's actually the youngest person there, but.

Jango is finding this whole being friendly to Jedi thing a lot more overwhelming than he thought it would be. And overwhelming in different ways.

Maul usually signifies things getting worse and more horrifyingly tragic but he's just a dumb teen that they needed to arrest for his own good.

Quinlan: Look, I'm useful! Ahsoka: I've been through hell, wanna hear? Quinlan: NO. I DON'T. WHY.

Quinlan: I understand the concept of joking about your traumas, I do it sometimes myself! But sith hells that’s a lot of trauma.

Quinlan just wanted her to treat him as a Competent Individual, and here she is whipping out stories about Dying and Gods and the Force insists it's the truth and he just???? And apparently emo darksider over there is a Sith. And just, sure. Why not

A lot of people’s interactions with the time travelling disaster lineage is just

Tholme and Fett arguing and Ahsoka's just waiting for a moment to pop in with "Hey, when's the last time either of you worked with the other's culture before this mess? Yeah, that's what I thought."

Much like Leia and Ahsoka hurting each other earlier, and Tholme figuring out the de-aging, we ALSO have Fett’s confrontation with Ahsoka being something the characters just did, rather than something I planned.

FTR the only time I managed to trigger myself while writing this fic was the “your behavior isn’t actually acceptable and we’ve all been trying really hard to give you room to recover but you have to at least make an effort to not be a bitch”

Writing about people having PTSD and symptoms of such: Yay! Writing about people having PTSD and engaging in toxic behavior to cope: Shit Ahsoka had... basically my exact reaction. It's "remind yourself that you're in the wrong, that they have a point, and then be overly formal in the apology because fuck if you accidentally make them feel sorry for you when they're the injured party"

Quinlan: Can we be friends? I mean, you're an asshole, but you're really cool. Let's be friends. (He MIGHT be nursing a crush) (Neat mysterious girl who can beat him up.)

Also he realises she's probably nicer when not having a slow-motion breakdown He's like "Huh, you'll probably be less of an asshole once you've gotten therapy."

...also, she pretty and got Nice Biceps

I love writing a good mental breakdown

I was so close to including a "he tried to kill me" just early enough for Jango to wildly misinterpret as her thinking Quinlan tried to kill her. He'd have been very confused, considering Quinlan's the one that called them down in a panic and currently has Ahsoka having her massive breakdown in his lap But

Tia: I could see Jango interpreting it as idk, Quin resembling someone or for a moment acting like someone who tried to kill her and she had a flashback or something like that

There's absolutely room for a couple reasonable interpretations there And "trapped in a flashback about someone who tried to kill her" is absolutely what's happening! Just. You know. For a different reason. Jango probably wouldn’t assume Quin would hurt her, for one thing he seems to like her, for another even if he did he’s smart enough to pick a way that wouldn’t be so likely to get him caught

I had to step back and actually say “Also I'm just. Wow. I'm really just shoveling QPP Rex&Ahsoka at full speed”

Me, a few weeks ago, joking: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist Me, now, entirely seriously: Two halves of the same idiot black ops specialist

Me, belatedly: Oh, Ahsoka being joyfully mean to people was a form of mania she was unconsciously using to build a barrier between herself and her impending meltdown

She went from "just died" to "in charge of Rex and Leia" in like. Two minutes.

Confession: I've been delighting in the mental image of this whole Mess leading Jango to try to retake Mandalore, and Ahsoka loans him a saber for a 1v1 to get the darksaber.

“Can’t I just fight him barehanded? That’s how I did it on Galidraan.” "But the drama, Fett!"

Probably Rex has learned how to use a saber as well, because you never know when you have to borrow a weapon

I later changed my mind to Jango asking her to help, rather than her just sneak-teaching him, but it was funny.

Background nonsense to all this is Ahsoka and Rex, despite Rex being as force-sensitive as a lump of coal, having developed a process where she can extend her sensitivity to him mind-to-mind for weird symbiotic battle trance that scares everyone around them. It’s very similar to Battle meditation.

CONTEXT FOR LEIA BEING WORRIED ABOUT THOLME HIDING THINGS: Tholme is hiding the fact that the Council reached out and told him that the people he picked up might be connected to Ben and Luke, who showed up after the Depa thing but a solid week and change before Jango's ship makes it to the Temple. They asked that he not share that information to avoid getting anyone's hopes up in case the two situations aren't related. Ben and Luke haven't shared enough information for anyone to really be sure if the other three are connected Because the info Tholme has isn't quite the info Jango has, etc. And they can't just say Ben is a future Obi-Wan over comms

I just have a lot of feelings about people trying to do something right and just. Nobody's at fault! Not really! It's just complicated!

Tia: I like how when Ahsoka isn’t doing maladaptive trauma response stuff she’s very mature. And of course she’s had to be but it’s a good like, contrast. Where when she slows down to think about things she’s very sensible

Jango just spends most of this story lowkey wanting Ahsoka to Be His Friend but there's too much baggage that he's only metaphysically responsible for

Local aroace(?) has a squish

Ahsoka: He just wants to get on my good side because of Rex. Jango: I'm pretty sure you could kill an entire army without trying but you wouldn't because you have actual morals and stuff... and when I met you it was because you were killing yourself trying to keep (what appeared to be) children safe... you seem cool please be my friend.......

Ahsoka’s #1 weakness: mountains of trauma Ahsoka’s #2 weakness: she just doesn’t get why so many people think she’s cool and want her to be their (girl)friend

Jango, a 27yo massacre survivor who's killed Jedi masters with his bare hands: [gets lectured on various government structures by a tiny girl that's missing several teeth and needs to sit on books to see the table properly]

Ahsoka was raised in a religious meritocracy but developed all her opinions during a galactic war and then became a vigilante spy, Rex comes from a military cult, Leia is from an inherited monarchy that participates in democracy, Quinlan was originally from what appears to be a dynastic dictatorship, and IDK about Tholme other than that he is also from the religious meritocracy. And in legends Quinlan came to the religious meritocracy after his aunt sacrificed his parents to a vampire cult and then forced him to experience the psychometric echoes of that. There's just. A lot going on.

Leia at least has knowledge about structure and admin in theory that isn't based in either the military or populations under 10k

Jango: I want to be your friend. Ahsoka: Sounds fake.

I am unfairly fond of "Rex destroys a conversation by bringing up his own horrifying childhood and calling it a cult"

"Why does Sokari call you 'Rex'ika'?" "Because she's older than me." "...can I--?" "No."

Nickname privileges are extended ONLY to Ahsoka and older clones. There are no more older clones, so it's just Ahsoka.

Me joking about Star Wars AUs: Would you like a crackship? Me writing actual Star Wars fic: My favorite character type is apparently “too traumatized to have a relationship” so this is at least 90% gen.

I had to pull a scene opening at one point because Ahsoka's skill with not getting shot is actually much less useful than Tholme's clearance levels.

Now I really want a team-up of Ahsoka, Rex, and Jango where they do have to get in a dogfight of the "she flies, we shoot" variety and Fett just has to scream because the speeder thing to catch Maul was one thing, but this....

Ahsoka, before TCW: I know all the traffic rules but I'm not that great at flying! Ahsoka, after TCW: I'm great at flying but if you let me behind the wheel we are absolutely getting arrested.

She went from "knows the rules but doesn't have the skills" to "has the skills but primarily in the form of not getting shot" which! Is delightful! "Bet I can get us through that alley--" "DO NOT"

Jango and Ahsoka are both just very "Is this friendship? Is this camaraderie? My heart's been fried on platonic love by so many murders that I'm not sure anymore." "I've lost a lot of friends. I kind of forgot how to make those."

I have no idea if "hasn't been closer than Alderaan except that one trip to Chandrila" is canon-compliant but ehhhhhhhh It feels plausible enough?

Belatedly realized that I could just explain my optimal Rex&Ahsoka dynamic as just... drift compatible. It's vague enough on the specifics while still digging into the meat of what they mean to each other and how they work together. The terminology is already in existence. I can just use it.

Romantic? Platonic? Familial? Doesn't matter! They're drift compatible.

They are important to each other and that is what matters

I really like the Leia&Quinlan thing. He's just like "This small child needs a friend that isn't super depressed," and decided he's going to be her friend. I keep trying to toss in "Quinlan volunteers to 'baby'sit." She's not much older and she has a Baby Brain, it works out

There's a running bet as to whether Leia will leave the Order the second she turns thirteen, or if she'll let Sokari "train" her for a few years first. And... that’s how I came up with Leia Antilles, Senator of Serenno.

They'll be bullshitting Ben as her new master to "finish out the padawanship" since they can't tell everyone she's really in her thirties and he's conveniently there and already knows everything and was half her master anyway. Like Ben was planning on taking on Luke, but Luke is "six" and even he can't swing that as old enough to be a Padawan, and it's not like Sokari will take more than a handful of years to justify knighthood, sooooooooo

#Ahsoka Tano #Captain Rex #Leia Organa #Jango Fett #Obi Wan Kenobi #time travel #de aging #Phoenix Babbles #Uncle Ben and Little Luke #Auntie Soka and Little Leia #I need to excise the bits that are actually funny on their own

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seyenna · 4 years ago

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Philza and/or Techno and/or Ranboo fic recs

just some of my fav dsmp fics, mainly phil, techno or ranboo bc i’m biased but also a bunch of sbi and others

this one goes out mainly to zablr discord my beloved

pls tell me if the links don’t work

all of these are on ao3

rating\status(complete/ongoing)\warnings\word count\misc tags

ichor flows free amongst the iron by summer_rising

T\o\violence\13k\series\gods AU

Summary:

A gods and goddesses AU of the Dream SMP, dramatized for all our benefits.

First work:

"Two gods meeting on a mountaintop overlooking the stormy sea? Very classy, Dream, I appreciate your taste."

Dream didn't turn to look at him, but the faint shake of his shoulders let Techno know he had heard.

"Scar's healing up nicely, I see," Techno mumbled with a light nod of his head.

"Mhm. Cut nice and clean. Not that I expected any less from you, of course."

The god of power and the god of luck meet on a mountaintop to discuss Luck's standing in the ongoing political disaster.

We're Only Young by ImperialKatwala

G\o\-\66k\series\Dream & Technoblade

It's easy to forget amid the chaos and bloodshed how similar - and how young - Dream and Technoblade really are.

And when the sun comes up, you'll find a brand new god. by SkyboxZoo

M\o\violence\19k\gods AU

Summary:

The wounds from the fight had healed nigh instantly, but the golden blood still soaked Techno’s shirt. His cloak had gotten torn off and his hair had fallen out of its pony-tail. Ichor pooled in his boots. The man left a trail of golden, bloody footprints in his wake.

old gods (new gods) by WriterWinged

T\o\-\9k\series\gods AU

Summary of first work:

Survival, Blood, Madness. Philza, Technoblade, Wilbur Soot. Three gods who have never cared for mortal life, who play with them when they want to, who kill their toys just as easily. How, then, did a mortal end up in their hands?

This House Is A Fucking Nightmare by SilverWing15

T\c\-\17k\series\sbi

Summary:

AU Where Phil isn't quite as willing to stand by while his sons drop like flies

Summary of third part (my fav):

Does lingering too long in the shadow of a god make you a god? The voices in his head seem to think so.

His brothers know he's older than them but they don't know how much

OR: Technoblade doesn't think his brothers realize how different they are from ordinary men. After all, ordinary men may fight the gods, but they don't win.

It's been a long day. by BecausePlot

G\c\-\3k\Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

Sides are bad: he knows that much. He’s seen it tear people apart time and time again, so when he decided to separate himself from Tubbo and keep his distance, he knew he was in the right.

Well. He thought he was in the right, at the time. Sitting all by himself on the steps to the Prime Path, he’s not so sure anymore.

Yes, the sides might have torn the others apart, might have made them so weak that they have no choice but to fold under Dream’s hand, but at least they aren’t lonely.

So are sides bad?

‘I don’t know.’

~*~

Or, Ranboo looks out at the ruins of L'Manburg, feeling more lost and lonely than he ever has.

But, as he soon finds, he's not as alone as he thinks.

the voices in my head, they say a lot of things by rosyasteria

-\c\violence\1k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

Some days the voices didn’t listen. They didn’t let up. They screamed instead of whispered, relentless, assaulting his ears until they bled.

tell them i was the warmest place you knew and you turned me cold by rosyasteria

-\c\-\2k\Techonblade-centric

Summary:

Technoblade cared. But in the end it just fucked him over.

For the majority of his life, Techno felt like less of a companion, less of a family member, and more like a weapon to be wielded. 'The Blade' they called him; never 'friend'.

It Leaves Little Time for Anything Else by mirandible

M\c\-\1k\part of series\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

A young man aims for the top, but fate has other plans for him. So does Technoblade, apparently.

(Or: answering the question of “Why does Techno hide his scars if they’re supposed to be some sort of trophy? Why keep your point of pride a secret?”)

the best requiem is a bar of silence (and I'll sing it, even if I must hold back my tears) by jello12451

T\o\-\10k\Philza & Technoblade

Summary:

He can’t help the noise of celebration that escapes him. Techno- this means that Techno’s free, and he got his horse back, and everything is alright-

Tubbo, filled with rage at Phil’s cheers, turns and impulsively shoots an arrow.

He doesn’t expect to hit his target.

---

Alternatively: What if Phil didn't have a bucket of water when Tubbo shot him?

Change fate by being aggressively kind by sircantus

T\o\-\13k\sbi, Philza-centric

Summary:

“You do understand that you’re caring for the thing meant to bring destruction and chaos to our world, right?” The woman asks, Phil looking behind him fondly as Techno grabs at the ends of his wings.

“He’s just a child.” Phil answers distractedly, humming as his wings get gently yanked at.

“He’s the first of three to destroy life as we know it! Shouldn’t we, well, get rid of him?!”

“Oh, no.” Phil raises his eyes with a sharp glare. “Believe me, I have my own way of preventing the apocalypse.”

---

Or, Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy are basically chaotic forces of nature, destined from birth to end the world and bring destruction. Most who hear of the tale of them are trying their best to track them down, and to end the monsters while they’re still young, still just children.

Phil has a different plan.

(In which Phil raises the minecraft equivalents of the anti-christ with love and support, so much so to the point where the world ending is really just a funny thought, and Phil has three kids who casually have powers that are bit more extreme than anything else in the world)

I promised you that everything would be fine by findingkairos

G\c\-\6k\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

manifestation: (n.)

1. an event, action, or object that clearly shows or embodies something abstract or theoretical;

2. a version or incarnation of something or someone;

3. an appearance of a ghost or spirit;

4. the Blood God.

When he's young and still alone, still establishing his reputation as the immortal warrior, Technoblade makes up an imaginary friend.

Years later, the blood god is very real and very much a god: one that is prepared to do anything for their first and only friend.

the inner mechanism of a black box by Bee_4

T\c\violence, self-harm\Technoblade-centric

Summary:

Technoblade lets himself get imprisoned for Philza’s sake. He doesn’t plan on being there long. Unfortunately, he’s underestimated Pandora’s Vault.

There are things that will make even the Blade fall apart in due time, as it turns out.

carry all my sins by BananasofThorns

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo-centric

Summary:

Ranboo swallows. “All my armor and weapons and stuff are missing. Fundy and I were gonna go looking for them after the festival, I think.”

“I see.” Tubbo smiles again, but this time it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Well, I’m sure it’ll be fine, it’s just a festival. We could probably find someone to lend you a sword or an axe or something.”

He starts towards the stage, waving at people when they call his name, and Ranboo follows. The original panic has dulled to a cold buzz in his chest, but apprehension still wraps itself around his body like chains. He doesn’t like being without his armor and tools; he feels too exposed, and if something happens, he’ll be helpless.

“Ranboo?” Tubbo calls, glancing back.

Ranboo shakes his head and hurries to catch up. “Yeah, it’ll be fine,” he repeats. “Everything’s gonna be fine."

Tubbo grins. “That’s the spirit.”

Rule 5: be loyal. L'manberg doesn't do well with supposed traitors. Ranboo deals with the consequences.

Sojourn by Lacy_Star

T\o\-\13k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

“Well…” Ranboo started slowly, “You see, uh… I kinda… don’t have a house anymore, obviously. Um… Phil found me in—“ He paused, cutting himself off and squinting at the floorboards— very discreet, “Phil… found me. And… um… He said I could stay by you guys. Like, um, by the dog house he wants to build?” He paused, then began to ramble, “But, uh, if you don’t want me here, I understand— and I’m sorry for coming in your house when you weren’t here, I swear I didn’t touch anything— it was just cold outside and—“

Techno just stared at him. And how, how was this the second time this had happened to him? How was this the second time he returned home after battle to discover an injured teenage boy waiting for him, seeking assistance with nowhere to go? And how badly had that ended last time, in nothing but betrayal and insults?

---

AKA: Phil drags a half-enderman home after Doomsday, and Techno decides that they can keep it. For now.

can an axe count as rent? by aboutfivebees

T\c\-\4k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

Ranboo’s struggling to settle into his new life on the Arctic Anarchist Commune, but at least he’s got bread.

or the struggles of an enderman hybrid to come up with a housewarming gift to give to his friends, who are just trying to adopt him

The Caged Bird Sings of Freedom by StarPrince_Punk

T\o\-\25k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

The Blade's stance was still tense, his body prepared to fight at a moment’s notice if need be. “What’s your name?” Phil asked “My… name?” The Blade asked. “Yeah. Your name isn’t actually The Blade, right? That’s like a stage name?” Phil tried to keep his tone light. “What’s your real name?” The Blade hesitated. “No one… No one’s called me by my name in a long time.” ------- When Phil comes across Ranboo in his panic room after L'Manberg's destruction, it reminds him of when he first met Technoblade. And just like when he met Techno, Phil's first instinct is that he has to help this kid. While living together, Techno and Ranboo learn that they're much more similar than they had previously thought, and Phil learns that it's not too late for him to be a better dad.

This already feels like more of a home by H3118ENDER

T\o\violence, death\18k\Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

As the ashes of L'Manberg settle the conflict continues to come to life setting the stage for a new wave of blood shed. Stuck slam in the middle of past and present friends Ranboo is coming to learn that even without nations to their names feelings and feuds don't die but people, people do.

A Shadow of a Shadow by unappetizingegg

T\c\-\4k\ Ranboo & Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

There were a few beats of silence, and then- “What are your plans, now? Do you need a place to stay?”

That caught him off guard. Surely he’d heard incorrectly. Phil was offering him a home, right after he’d orchestrated the destruction of his past one? It didn’t make any sense, none of it did. Why would Phil say that?

Then he remembered, he remembered Techno stopping him in the fight. He remembered being handed his book, the question in Techno’s gaze. He swore, in that moment, Technoblade, the Technoblade, had been worried about him. He remembered that he had been told to leave, to run, to get away and preserve himself. He had spared him, he remembered that Techno had spared him.

Techno had helped him. Phil had tried to protect him, to get him away from the danger.

They were there for him.

---

alternatively:

Ranboo is alone. But he really isn't.

Meritocracy by oddsbodkins

G\o\-\18k\Dream & Technoblade, sbi, medieval AU

Summary:

Dream is more successful than he'd ever imagined - but there's one thing that's been bothering him. Technoblade, his biggest rival, the Acolyte of the Blood God and King of the Arena, went missing last spring, just before Dream got the chance to duel him. Without that one achievement to pave his way, all the following victories have felt cheap.

So, Dream hired some goons to dig Technoblade up and pester him into coming back to the Capitol, for one last showdown. Easy enough, right?

Interlude I: "Promises to Keep" by Ozzyyy

T\c\-\1k\part of a series\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

These woods are lovely, dark, and deep But I have promises to keep

And miles to go before I sleep And miles to go before I sleep.

Techno has a plan. It's crazy. It's insane, it's actually just batshit bonkers. But if chaos cannot be enjoyed together, then what's it worth, yeah? There's a certain beauty in watching the world burn from the center of the flames. Phil intends to be there.

I Don't Want To Start A Fight (wouldn't you rather start a riot?) by KryOnBlock

T\c\violence, death\15k\Technoblade & Philza & Ranboo

Summary:

An universal ping rang out from behind him, the third and final he knew, and Phil sobbed, clutching the body tighter.

Techno didn’t move.

It always has been Technoblade and Philza, Philza and Technoblade. Take on half, and you shall never go back.

Sheltered by Lulatic

G\c\-\6k\Ranboo & Technoblade

Summary:

It was cold outside. But Techno never heard Ranboo complain.

That was the best excuse he could muster to keep him out.

Antarctic Princes 'verse by BirchWrites

T\o\-\15k\series\sbi

Summary:

Loosely-connected one shots set in an AU where the Antarctic Empire and the Dream SMP are in the same world. Ordered chronologically, but each fic can be read as a standalone thing

Summary of first part:

Oh shit. Forget arrested; Dream’s going to have to tell Wilbur that he watched Tommy get stabbed for being terminally stupid.

May we cross paths again by QueenLunaFreed

G\c\-\1k\Dream & Technoblade

Summary:

“Even if tomorrow it’s just us versus the entire server, Dream, I’m telling you right now - I have confidence.”

---

Dream couldn’t comprehend the pacing contradiction in front of him, the weakness he could clearly see, but would never comment on. Because this man has been defying Dream's expectations since they first met, because despite them not being friends and having no reason to trust each other, Dream knew that Technoblade is the only person who he’d trust to do this right. To destroy L'Manberg alongside him yet again, this time for real.

leave me your starlight by findingkairos

T\o\-\18k\Technoblade & Philza

Summary:

For you the world, Phil.

Once upon a time, Philza Minecraft is the only person who does not shy away from the bloody teen that regularly turns the tide of war.

This cements a friendship that will last wars, empires, worlds, and lifetimes.

---

(Featuring: Back to Back Badasses, healthy relationships, accidental deification, intentional world domination, and Phil's past coming back to haunt his best friend.)

#fanfic #dsmp #technoblade #philza #ranboo #zablr #fic recs

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jodibodie · 3 years ago

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I Have Some Feelings

To start let me just emphasize how much I love and adore this show and always will. This was my covid show. Both of my kids loved “Lucifer” and always said I should watch so at the start of covid I binged it and when I say binged, I mean all 4 seasons in a few days and have rewatched so many times I’ve lost count. I think it is timeless, engrossing, original and all around amazing. The writing and the cast were all excellent. The writing was smart and consistently strong and that is so rare. Funny, sad, poignant, it hit all the notes with very few plot holes or missteps. There is not one episode in the entire series that was not engaging. Even if I didn’t like an episode, it was still well done. What a rarity.

The cast is scary good. Completely underrated. Just all phenomenally talented. I don’t remember the last time a cast was this strong. From the core group to both reoccurring and guest stars, the cast was just fantastic.

Tom Ellis, no words. The man deserves to choose whatever he wants to do acting wise. He should have people breaking down his door. He can truly do it all and do it all well. He took a character that if portrayed by a lesser actor could have come off as a complete asshole and made him one of the most sympathetic and loveable characters in recent history. Ellis made a crime solving devil, a promiscuous man-child that occasionally breaks into song and the evidence room into a beloved character that has become an icon.

Lauren German, WOW. She is just so damn good. She can break your heart one second and have you laughing the next. She makes Chloe real, and people don’t realize how hard that is. Chloe is smart, kind, tough and gorgeous but she’s also an insecure dork. She’s us and German just brings it.

DB Woodside I’ve loved since “Buffy”. He is a phenomenal actor and who knew he could bring the laughs so well? His expressions were classic. Clueless angel indeed. Amenadiel could have been very one-dimensional but because of Woodside’s talent he became fully fleshed out and full bodied.

I have no doubt Lesley-Ann Brandt has a huge career in front of her. She took a character that very well could have been hated, a demon and made her into one of the most human characters on the show. Kudos to her for taking a tough role and making it her own.

Kevin Alejandro is another actor I’ve loved for a long time. He also took a character who if we’re going to be honest here did so many unlikeable things that he should have been truly despised but because of Kevin’s portrayal he was beloved. Great actor and a terrific director.

Rachael Harris IMO is the downlow MVP. She was literally the rock and again, with a lesser actress the role could have been a throwaway. The normal human, the sounding board but Harris imbued her with so much more. Her spit takes, sarcasm and her obvious compassion was what made Dr. Linda an unforgettable character. Once again just perfect casting.

Aimee Garcia was a great addition. She made Ella a fan fav and put so much heart, joy and sincerity into Ella never once did you doubt that she would prevail no matter what was thrown at her. Garcia was just fantastic, and I want her skin care regime.

Scarlett Estevez pulled off the one thing I thought almost impossible. She took the role of a young child and made it so I didn’t want to cringe. She portrayed Trixie so beautifully from day one that she was a true pleasure to watch. Even though Trixie was super precocious Estevez never made her obnoxious. I loved Trixie and I have never said that about any child character in an adult show. She was wonderful and has an amazing career in front of her.

That said, I’ve got some feelings now that I’ve seen the finale and have had some time to digest it all. I love that Chloe and Lucifer had eternity and I agree that they had to be separated for Chloe’s lifetime. Didn’t like it but it’s the logical path. She’s human, he’s not. The ageing thing alone necessitated them not being together long term on earth and that’s just to start the list. They had to had to be apart for the short term to get their eternity but the duality of Lucifer's ending and Amenadiel's didn't sit right. Amenadiel as God got to have it all. His calling, his family etc. while Lucifer had to give up everything. I also don’t buy the “If he came up from hell, he could never leave them again” defense. I call bullshit. Amenadiel managed, plus, missing out on the day to day is a huge sacrifice and by Lucifer missing out on the day-to-day Rory could still have had the hatred she needed to drive the story. Popping in for birthdays, graduations, weddings, etc., the big stuff does not a father make. Not being there for skinned knees, first heartbreaks, and all the little things a daughter needs her dad for can build up tons of resentment. Boom, absentee father, just like his dad was. That provides all the millennial angel angst you could ask for. I have a daughter; it doesn’t take much.

The Trixie issue was huge for me. Can Chloe see her in Heaven? Will she be able to travel to Heaven and visit Trixie, Penelope, Dan, her father? Chloe hesitated leaving Heaven in 5x16 because she couldn’t bear saying good-bye to her dad again. It seems as if Chloe sacrificed everything for Rory including Trixie. I want to preface this by saying. I liked Rory and loved the actress. I didn’t however like how it was as if she were their only child. When Lucifer spoke of family Trixie was not mentioned. Their family day, the same thing. She didn’t need to be there, I get that the explanation regarding Rory would have been way too much to get into but just a mention of her, how awesome it would have been to share this day with her would have worked. It seemed as if Lucifer went from, “I would do anything to protect that little Urchin” to “Trixie who”. Trixie was a character that we watched grow up and she meant something to us. I hate to say this, but the writers did Trixie and the viewers dirty in this regard.

This show was built around a few premises. Free will, honesty, redemption, sacrifice and family, both blood and made. The ending completely negated almost all of these. Chloe and their entire family were made into the one thing Lucifer abhorred the most which are liars. Their daughter was brought up surrounded by lies. What did they tell Trixie? The poor kid just lost her dad, and she was pissed at Lucifer when he went back to hell the first time. Did she grow up hating him because as far as she knew Lucifer left her mom again without saying good-bye and this time it was even worse because Chloe was pregnant. I get that the actress who plays Trixie had limited availability but seriously. A quick good-bye.

“Hey Urchin, you won’t understand why for a long time, but I have to leave. You know I never lie so I can’t explain why but know that I love you and your mom and one day I hope you can forgive me.”

A 30 second scene would have worked.

As all the characters learned throughout the series, omission of the truth is just a form of lying and there are always repercussions i.e., Chloe and Father Kinley, Dan shooting Lucifer, Maze finding out about Lilith and even Ella not being told. As far as free will, both Chloe and Lucifer had their free will taken from them in the end. By Rory forcing them to abide by her wishes, their free will was forfeited. It was a huge manipulation on Rory’s part and considering how much Lucifer hated manipulations it just didn’t sit right.

Parents making huge sacrifices I get. Chloe and Lucifer sacrificed everything for their child. Unfortunately for me this sacrifice, the way it was written seemed contrived to pull out maximum and IMO unjustified angst. I love angst. Hell, this is my favorite show. I thrive on the angst. But as I wrote earlier, all the anger, angst and hatred towards Lucifer could have been achieved without having Lucifer completely out of the picture. I have two kids and my husband, and I have made huge life altering sacrifices for them as many parents do but being there for the day-to-day little things was what made the difference in their lives and cemented the close relationships we have with them.

“Yeah, dad you were great. Showing up for the fun stuff, always swooping in for the big finish to play the hero then ditching us when things got tough. When Grandma was dying where were you? Nice that you showed up for the funeral but the six months leading up to it…we needed you and once again you weren’t there. When T got sick, when Jen broke my heart, blah, blah, blah…”

Even the whole Chloe dying scenario. They could have written it that rage Rory traveled minutes before Lucifer got there. Have him pop in right after Rory comes back. There were so many ways to achieve the end game they wanted other than the way they went. It seemed contrived and as if they took the easy way out to get where they needed to go. The Rory rage that was the catalyst for her traveling back in time and Lucifer finding his calling could still have been accomplished without the whole Lucifer disappearing storyline.

Now that I’ve finished my diatribe there’s a couple of additional things I would like to say. Lucifer is and always will be one of my favorite shows of all time. There are not enough words to describe the comfort and enjoyment this show has brought me. Thank you, thank you, thank you to the producers, cast and crew. You truly created something special.

To the fandom. Please do not let a polarizing conclusion rip apart the fandom. The only other fandom I was a part of tore itself apart so badly that the FBI got involved. Hence why I waited for 15 years to dip my toe in again. Everyone invested in this show has the right to their feelings. Debate is fine, baiting and bullying are not. The Lucifer fandom like the show is very special. Without the fandom we wouldn’t have gotten any conclusion so don’t let opposing viewpoints tarnish what has been a magical journey.

#lucifer #season6 #spoilers #lucifer spoilers #lucifer season6 spoilers #lucifer morningstar #chloe decker #trixie espinoza #rory morningstar #luciferseason6 #tom ellis #lauren german #db woodside #lesley-ann brandt #rachael harris #kevin alejandro #scarlett estevez #brianna hildebrand

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kai-writes-fan-fiction · 4 years ago

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Hey besties! I need your help! First off, I need some requests! Secondly, I need a name for my fan base. But moving onto the good stuff, part 3 is finished and I’m so proud of it. I’m so thankful to have such an amazing audience. Thanks to anyone that reads!!

Word count: 1150

Warnings: Talk of syringes, a few cuss words, restraining, mentions of child abuse/ neglect, and Loki being an ass. (Nothing against him, I love Loki.)

Please excuse any typos/spelling/grammatical errors I wrote this during a lecture at school :p

In Hiding, part 3/?

Parts one and two links:

You were finally out of the compound, and you were running faster than you ever had. You climbed up countless trees and jumped from branch to branch, just trying to get as far away from the compound as you could. You didn’t know where you were and had no way of finding your way back to New York City.

——————————

It’s been 3 hours of constant running. At least you think it’s been 3 hours… You’ve finally found a tree to rest in. You shift into a stick to blend in. Unfortunately, you are a blue stick, but you were too tired to care.

Slowly, you drifted off into a deep slumber

—————Avengers POV—————

“We’re not stupid; she’s got a tracker. She’s stopped about 5 miles Northeast.” Bruce announces to the team.

“So when do we get her?” Natasha wonders aloud.

“I’m thinking night; the sun sets in about 2 hours…” Steve replies.

“It’s when she’ll least expect it,” Buck adds.

“Since she’s been running nonstop for about 3 hours, she’s probably asleep. We should go now, so she doesn’t wake before nightfall.” Says Tony.

“I don’t know, Tony. She’s probably pretty tuckered out. It’ll be harder for her to attack in the dark.” Natasha counters.

“She’s a shapeshifter; the kid probably has night-vision or something.” Tony murmurs.

“He's got a point, guys,” Bruce notes.

“We’ll take a vote. Say “aye” to go now, “nay” to go at night.” Steve says. “All in favor of now?”

“Aye,” Tony.

“Aye, ” Bruce.

“Aye, ” Loki.

“Aye, ” Peter.

“Aye, ” Wanda.

“Aye, ” Vision.

“Aye, ” Thor.

“That everyone?” Steve questions. A few nods are the reply. “Ok, how about people who think we should go at night?”

“Nay, ” Natasha.

“Nay, ” Clint.

“Nay, ” Steve.

“Nay, ” Bucky.

“Ha! We're going now. You all have 3 minutes to get what you need. Meet on the Quinjet.” Tony announces.

Clint moans but turns to get his things.

“You sure we got her this time?” Bruce asks Tony, turning to him.

“Now we know what she can do. The kid’s powerful, but there's one of her and ten of us. She's also asleep; we've got the upper hand.”

“But she can-”

“We’ll be fine.”

—————Your POV—————

Flashback Dream

You were five again and back with HYDRA, tied to a chair, various syringes with God only knows what inside to your right.

You were trying to get away; you struggled against the grip of the ropes, but, to no avail, you weren't getting anywhere.

In walked three men, dressed in white lab coats. One was gruff and bald, the 2nd was taller and buff, the last man, was short and plump and cowered behind the other two.

“This is her? She's smaller than I hoped. I doubt she’ll survive.” One spoke loudly.

Not survive what? Tears began to drip down your face.

“I hate children.” Another one of them hissed before swiftly stepping forward and slapping you. “Shut up, vermin.” He seethed.

You stopped crying and whimpered.

“Weak.” The first man jeered.

“The first dose is ready, sir.” The 3rd man whispered.

“I’m excited to see what it does!” The 2nd man grabbed one of the syringes and forced it into your arm.

Almost immediately, you felt a burning sensation; white stars clouded your vision, and your entire body began to tingle, and then your eyesight was gone.

Startled awake, you found yourself face to face with Loki again.

“Hello there.” He grinned.

Frightened, you fell from your tree-top perch. You hit the ground with a thud, and were met by nine more faces, who you noted were more avengers. You were so screwed.

As fast as you could, you created clones and shifted them into the people before you.

“That’s not going to work this time!” Loki called down from the tree.

Clint hastily shot all of your clones, and you were left defenseless, but you weren’t about to give up. You tried to shift into an ant to hide, but you couldn’t turn. Damn it! They had predicted your every move. You were a goner.

You were paralyzed, not by Loki but by fear. You began to shake violently and cry. This is where it all ended.

“Uhhhhh… kid?” Tony calls out to you, lifting his mask. “You good?”

You continued to cry; you wouldn't dare speak.

“Grab her..?” Wanda suggests, pointing at you.

“Oh. Uh, yeah.” Steve steps towards you.

You attempt to wither away, but you are frozen. You continue to shake; sobs rack your body.

You're picked up bridal style by Steve and carried back to the Quinjet. You're limp in his arms and quiet, tears stain your cheeks, and your eyes are bright red.

“Finally, she stopped crying. It was annoying.” Bucky jeers.

“She, a kid! Don't be so insensitive.” Wanda retorts.

You're legs and hands are cuffed once more, and you're strapped tightly into a seat.

You've regained all of your senses, and now you're angry. Angry at yourself for letting this happen, angry at the Avengers for capturing you, especially angry at HYDRA for making you like this, and mad at your parents for selling you to evil people.

Thinking about it, you're infuriated. A spark is a newfound spark that ignites inside of you, and suddenly you're growling lowly.

Ten faces turn to you and stare. You lift your head and bear fangs. It took all of your energy to fight against Lokis's magic and shift even such a small part of yourself.

“You don’t give up, huh? Foolish.” Loki looks up at you and grins. “Oh well, all the more fun for me!” He taunts.

Your restraints are tightened, and your fangs dissolve in your mouth. Loki gets up and moves towards you.

“Giving up now, foolish girl?” He says as he grabs your jaw and jerks your face up, forcing your eyes to meet his.

In response, you narrow your eyes. The restraints tighten even more, and you're beginning to have trouble breathing.

“That's enough, Loki,” Thor yells from his seat. “Sit down.”

Loki looks up from you, rolls his eyes, but lets go of you. He looks back down to you as he's walking away, smirks, and loosens your restraints. You heave as you try to regain your breath, and the Avengers stare at you.

You're angered once more, but now you know the repercussions. You’re really fucked now.

“It’s going to be 30 more minutes!” Steve calls from the front of the jet.

30 minutes until the rest of your life is decided. Better savor them, as they may be your last. Wondering what happens next? You’ll have to read part 4, hopefully coming out tomorrow!

Thanks again for all the support, I’m so happy I get the privilege to write for such an amazing and kind audience! My requests are still open, and I really, really need people to send in requests. Thanks again, everyone! Have an amazing night/day and thanks for reading!!

Taglist:

@sweetpeaflower01 @kinny-away @mangobangi @oakiedokie @moonbaejpeg @coollemonsaresour @screechingshepherddeputygoth @cumulonimbus34

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klvbxlove · 3 years ago

Text

child (iida x gn! reader)

a/n: i know it’s only been like a month or so since my last iida x reader drabble, but it’s definitely felt like a long time! it was honestly ‘cause i got a bit caught up with writing persona 4 fanfics ever since i started watching the anime with my cousins when i visited them last month LOL. i also was struggling with what to write for an iida drabble, but this idea came up and i figured, “why not?”. although i have to admit, this one does feel a bit short, despite it being a little bit over 1,000 words 🙁 but anyways, i hope y’all will still like it! :)

reader type: gender neutral

reader specification(s): none

genre(s): fluff

trigger warning(s): none

summary: after iida came back home from a hero mission, you weren’t expecting for him to turn into a child the next morning.

word count: 1.3k words

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

key:

(y/n) = your name

♡ ♡ ♡ (ꈍᴗꈍ)ε｀*) ♡ ♡ ♡

You were aware that Iida had been hit by a villain quirk today. However, when he came back home from his hero mission that same night, nothing seemed to be different about him. And while you were glad he had no injuries, there was still worry lingering inside of you. That was when you assumed that the effect would settle in tomorrow (and that you were scared of).

So when you were slowly brought out of your sleep by an unfamiliar voice, you were a little bit confused. Did someone somehow enter your apartment? Because you were sure that you kept all the doors and windows locked before you and Iida went to sleep.

Instead of fully opening your eyes, you closed them back. You figured this must have been some weird dream. In the meantime, maybe you could move closer to Iida and cuddle him. After all, he had a rough day yesterday, so this might as well cheer him up--

“(Y/N), sweetheart. Wake up!”

Okay, there goes that unfamiliar voice again (and why did they call you sweetheart? As far as you were concerned, so far, Iida was the only one who called you that). With the confusion fully settling in, you did not feel like going back to sleep because you knew something was going on. It was not fear that was settling in. It was more of a suspicion.

Letting out a yawn, you rubbed your eyes before sitting up from your bed. “What? Who’s that?”

The person behind the voice huffed. “I thought you would have recognized me somewhat, but it’s me!”

Seconds passed as the weight on your eyelids was beginning to fade. And now that you thought about it, the voice was starting to sound familiar. You guessed that you did not recognize it since you were not fully awake. But when your eyes fully opened, you were not expecting Iida to not be there beside you.

Instead, you came across a small child wearing his pajamas (and they were too big on him).

At first, you tilted your head in confusion. First off, who was this child, and what were they doing in your apartment? And second off, where was your husband, Iida?

Your eyes squinted at the child as you looked at them in slight suspicion. Meanwhile, they stared back at you. There was also something about them that looked familiar, too (not just their voice). They have even got his hairstyle, his eyes, and his overall appearance. Almost as if it was the child version of Iida--

Wait a minute.

Your eyes widened.

Wait a damn minute.

“T-Tenya?! Wait, is that you?!” You spoke after seconds (what felt like minutes) of being in shock. Part of you believed that this was part of the dream.

The young boy nodded and scratched the back of his head. “Y-Yes, it’s me,” he said bashfully, “As a child, that is...”

WHAT?!

You put a hand on your mouth.

Oh, you have got to be kidding me.

More seconds passed. But eventually, you had accepted that this was reality. Although, there were so many things going on in your head right now. Your husband had mysteriously turned into a child; it must have happened last night when the both of you were sleeping.

You never thought a situation like this would have happened. You were not necessarily bothered by it, as Iida was still alright. Like you knew yesterday, there was no need to treat his wounds or take him to a hospital. Although, you had to wonder.

“How did this happen? I swear, I heard nothing last night, and you were already fast asleep.”

Iida placed a finger on his chin as he looked to be in deep thought. “This must have been the side effect of the villain that struck me with their quirk yesterday,” he inquired. “I could only assume that it took only a few hours for it to settle in, as it occurred between the time that I fell asleep and the time that I woke up. Although it is a bit strange that the villain only did this much to my body,”

Right. You almost forgot about that. “I mean, at least the villain didn’t technically hurt you, right?” you tilted your head.

He nodded. “Yes, I suppose you are right about that, (Y/N). It is a bit unfortunate that this happened. I have no clue how long I will be in this form before I go back to my normal self!”

Iida had a point. You knew that. For all you knew, he would have stayed as a child for a month! However, as this was a situation in which you would begin to panic, there was no single ounce of worry inside you. You began to stare at Iida, and it suddenly felt like your heartbeat was increasing.

Memories were washing over you about the one time you were visiting his family, and his mom was showing you childhood photos of your husband. Ignoring the pleas from Iida, your eyes began to remember seeing the young child in those photos. Oh, how your heart could not take it! He was just too cute to handle! With those bright blue eyes, the big small on his face, how tiny he looked. You swore you were about to cry from the cuteness.

And the fact that you were seeing child Iida right in front of you instead of just in photos?

Your instincts came up to you, and that was when you suddenly grabbed Iida onto your lap and hugged him close. He let out a sound of surprise. “(Y/N)?! W-What are you doing?!” he cried.

“God, you are just too cute, Tenya!” you squealed, rubbing his back as though he needed comfort, “I’m sorry, but let me just hug you for a bit, please.”

“Cute? Darling, I can assure you that I’m not cute! I have no idea where you’re getting this from,”

“Oh, yes, you are! Stop hiding it.” You almost had to bite the inside of your cheeks so you would not burst out laughing. Even as a child, Iida still spoke eloquently, as you had always remembered. As much as this was a bit funny to you, you also found it twice as adorable.

“You know, this might sound bad, but I’m somewhat glad that the villain who hit you with his quirk ended up turning you into a child. You’re ten times cuter than before.”

“(Y/N)!” Iida cried out as he pouted, “You cannot go saying stuff like that! And especially saying that you are happy that a villain used their quirk on me! What if it was something much more serious than this--”

“I know, I know. But still, I could get used to holding you like a child!” you grinned.

Iida sighed. There was no point in trying to argue with you. He could only think back to the time when his mom was showing you his baby photos (much to his dismay), and you were practically fangirling. Iida was almost starting to wish the mission he went on yesterday did not happen in the first place. So ultimately, he might as well let you hug him for the time being.

And it was not like Iida did not enjoy the affection, either. No, he loved it very much! Iida even decided to wrap his arms around you and bury his face into your chest. Although, he swore he heard another squeal come out of you.

After moments went by, you released Iida from your grip, and you looked at him. “Well, how about I make you some breakfast now? I bet you’re a bit hungry,”

As if in sync, Iida felt a grumble coming out of his stomach. You let out a soft chuckle watching him blush in slight embarrassment, and you gently picked him up into your arms. “I guess you are. Alright, let’s go!”

To which Iida smiled softly at that.

#bnha #bnha x reader #bnha reader insert #iida tenya #bnha iida #iida x y/n #bnha x y/n #fanfiction #oneshot #bnha imagines #bnha iida imagines #iida x reader #mha x reader #mha reader insert #mha x y/n #bnha x gn!reader #mha x gn!reader #kristin's writings

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thequietmanno1 · 3 years ago

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Thelreads, MHA 253, Replies Part 3

(Vigilanties ch 59)

1) “Aizawa my baby, please tell me who did you fail to save?”- Well, it’s not who he’s failed to save and more who he will fail to save with his power. But lucky him, I guess he got another chance with his friend’s revived cadaver…

(Vigilantes ch 59)

2) “THIS IS WHY PEOPLE WERE LOOKING FORWARD FOR THIS ARC, WAS’NT IT? TO SEE AIZAWA BACKSTORY AND FOR THE PAIN TRAIN™ TO MOW DOWN THE ANY FEELINGS I STILL HAVE IN MY HEART BECAUSE THIS WOULD EXPLAIN A LOT ABOUT AIZAWA, STARTING WITH THIS PARTICULAR MOMENT HERE”- well, it wasn’t the only reason…

(Vigilantes ch 59)

3) “DON’T GET ME WRONG, I’M STILL CURIOUS TO SEE HOW CLOUDY THERE BIT THE DUST, BUT I’VE ALREADY SEEN THROUGH FURUHASHI’S INTENTIONS. LIKE THAT WEIRD SHIT WITH THE CAT SHOWING UP OUT OF NOWHERE, I SEE WHAT IT IS LIKE, HE CAN STORE STUFF IN THOSE CLOUDS, CAN’T HE? THE CAT DIDN’T CAME OUT OF HI ASS, THAT’S SOME SORT OF POCKET DIMENSION, BECAUSE THAT WAS DEFINITELY NOT A SINGLE GAG, NOT EVEN FURUHASHI WOULD DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS, THAT WAS FOREHADOWING TO WHAT HIS QUIRK IS ACTUALLY ALL ABOUT AND I’MLOSING MY MIND RIGHTN NOW I NEED TO SLEEP”- Ok, you’ve seen through Furuhashi’s intentions, but did you see through Horikoshi’s? I admit, it wasn’t until reading this bit that I figured out how his cloud quirk would later become a foundational aspect of Kurogiri’s ‘warping’ ability, but with some tinkering, the ability to manipulate dimensional space to store objects certainly could be turned into full-out warping functionality.

(Vigilantes ch 60) 4) “Now I just need to see him pulling something out of his cloud and I’ll know for sure I got the hammerspace characteristic of his quirk right as well.”- Hammerspace… Dimension warping… same difference really.

(Vigilantes ch 60) 5) “Okay, so he’s not too keen on studying, but he has his heart on the right place, and that’s important because having the heart in the wrong place can be fatal, especially if said wrong place is outside of your body. You hear that Cloudy? Keep your heart inside of your body at all times, especially during your work studies, okay?”- Looks like he lost it after all, and it’s up to his old boyfriends to help him find it again

(Vigilantes ch 60) 6) “Okay, see? Cloudy there is head over heels for Miss Flashing there, no way that wouldn’t have some sort of repercussion in the future… I’m now obsessed with this, maybe if I insist more than I did with the Captain it will actually come true and he’ll end up dead. I can’t lose a third time.”- wanna bet?

(Vigilantes ch 61)

7) “You see Cloudy, Aizawa is unfortunately in a bad place, psychologically speaking, he needs some time and help to get through this, so, be a good boyfriend and stick by his side, okay? And try to not get yourself killed before he has a chance to internalize those ideas, otherwise it won’t work.”- well he technically did and did not take your advice- it depends upon how we’re factoring in resurrections into that criteria.

(Vigilantes ch 62)

8) “Yep, he is, and considering how Aizawa absolutely works alone only we can once again assess how this boy is buried seven feet under, because if he was around there was absolutely no way Aizawa would ever know peace.”-Well, he’s still around, he was buried, and I guess Aizawa’s not going to have a single night’s peaceful rest after this encounter.

(Vigilantes ch 62)

9) “I’m not even talking about the current chapter, I’m just focused on counting my victory over this dead kid, because finally one character that Furuhashi will be unable to save… but unfortunately it was one that I was getting attached to, even though I also knew that I shouldn’t.

Goddammit. Now I’m feeling really bummed out, there’s no joy in this victory…

and I swear to god, if furuhashi cheaps out and just put this boy into a coma or something…”- Well, it’s not strictly a coma, but it’s uncertain how much of him is actually left in there. Like Aizawa said, he acted nothing like his old self, even when meeting face-to-face with his old friends. Even if his body’s there, his mind and soul may no longer be.

(MHA ch 246)

10) “Last time there was the disturbing but somehow not surprising revelation that Shigaraki is going to become the ultimate Nomu, and in four months he’s gonna fuck shit up. Great, wonderful, I feel like this was also a reason why everybody wanted me to read Vigilantes, it all makes sense when I remember what happened there.”-Well, it wasn’t the major reason, but it was certainly a contributing factor- informs events with what’s happening with Shigaraki vs what’s been put into this research beforehand to ‘perfect’ him as the end result. Everything that’s being done to Tomura’s body is the accumulation of Ujiko’s untold years of experimentation and desecration of the natural order, with Shirakumo just a face about uncountable number of people who’ve had their humanity sacrificed on the altar of his research. It’s ironic, because the intended recipients are both people who could be said to have lost their humanity already through their personality and life experiences.

(MHA ch 246)

11) “Oh holy shit that’s not only the students, we got a whole lot of fuckery going on there! We have the students from Class 1-B, and Let me tell ya” - Well, well, isn’t it weird how Kurogirl turns up in a panel featuring all of Class 1A’s allies and those they’ve shared strong meaningful bonds with?- and right next to Aizawa and Present Mic no less, hanging overhead like a grim reminder of their shared traumatic past that he is.

(MHA ch 251) 12) “Also, it was trigger, which, considering the events so far of both vigilantes and the Overhaul arc, well… I`m wondering how it will all fit together…”- Well, here’s a major example of how they’re connected… @thelreads

#bnha #my hero academia #thelreads #chapter replies #mha253

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casually-slips-into-coma · 4 years ago

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An Essay (sort of) Explaining the Many Grievances I Have With Debbie Gallagher

Once again, Debbie is the fucking worst.

I’ve been wanting to write out my feelings towards her character for a fucking minute now just so that I have a full concise list. Now, I can talk about how Debbie has a constant need for attention, or how her character has become someone unrecognizable in the past few seasons, or how she’s a terrible mother, but what I really want to focus on is the center of my issues with her: her sexuality. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about to be a homophobic rant or anything. I just think her queer development has been written terribly and that should be addressed.

Too often I see people praising queer characters or relationships based solely on the fact that they are queer, and as a member of the community, I get it. I am also starved for representation. This, however, does not mean I’m going to settle for annoying, poorly written characters.

Why Make Debbie Queer?

The first thing I want to address is why suddenly develop a WLW storyline for her. Given that Debbie started as a little girl on the show, this gives the writers a lot of opportunity to give a character like that interesting storylines because she does not yet have a solid personality. It gives writers the liberty to take her story anywhere they want to without the constraints of established character because she, as a person, is still developing into adulthood. The show runners unfortunately dropped the ball with this.

From season 4 and onwards was when Debbie began showing interest in dating, sex, and romance having just turned the corner to puberty. From then up until season 9, she has shown exclusive interest in men. It isn’t until Alex the welder that Debbie deviates from this path. Alex is portrayed as a stud who confuses Debbie. I am inclined to believe that Debbie was originally attracted to her because she was masculine and therefore close enough to the people Debbie had previous experience with.

This arc was treated very much as Debbie experimenting with her sexuality, something that Alex also ends up realizing after Debbie tells her that having sex with a girl is “not that bad” and “like having sex with yourself” (S9E4). Once this storyline wrapped up (with Debbie shouting “you make me want cock again”) the writers powered through, adamant about Debbie now being a lesbian.

I have two theories as to why they’ve been fighting so hard for her queerness.

1) This was around the time that Cam was leaving Shameless. This obviously didn’t end up happening, but I was under the impression that the writers were freaking out at losing their token gay character and needed to fill that position. When Cam ended up staying, they were stuck with a queer Debbie storyline and decided to just go with it.

2) Shameless was planning on doing a WLW storyline regardless of Cam’s choice to leave and were originally going to give it to Fiona and her lesbian tenant that she had a close relationship and a lot of chemistry with, but Emmy Rossum wanted to move on from Shameless, and so they pivoted and gave the arc to Debbie, a character that was not supposed to be moved in that direction and so her new sexuality seemingly came out of nowhere. Fiona as a bisexual character would have made sense. Debbie still does not.

Shameless’s Awkward Relationship With Bisexuality

One of the biggest issues I have with Debbie is her insistence on being a lesbian. Lesbianism doesn’t come out of nowhere. Bisexuality, however, can. When you grow up being told that you are supposed to feel attraction to men, and you genuinely do feel attraction to men (which Debbie has expressed in past seasons/episodes) it’s easy to ignore your attraction to women and write it off as something that either isn’t a big deal, or something that isn’t there. It’s a lot more confusing than being strictly at one end of the spectrum. It would have been so much more believable if they had simply made Debbie bisexual. Unsurprisingly, they didn’t because the show has a history with bi erasure.

Bisexuality has been treated badly all throughout Shameless, used as a vengeful plot device back in the earlier seasons where Monica was only ever with women when unmedicated. Then in Season 7 when Ian’s boyfriend Caleb cheated on him with a woman (enforcing the stereotype of bisexuals being unfaithful) Ian, possibly acting out of anger or ignorance, said things like “only women are bisexual. When a man says he’s bisexual he’s really just gay”. The only semi positive bisexual representation on the show was Svetlana and Vee when they were in a poly relationship with Kev (though I also think that storyline wasn’t handled as well as it could’ve been).

This fight against the bisexual label in media is not a new one but it is also a harmful stance to take when writing a sexually fluid character. Debbie declaring that she is, in fact, a lesbian after waxing poetic about how Matty had a big dick and Derek had a great body and knew what he was doing is not the way to go.

You could argue that Debbie, like many other queer women, is an unfortunate victim of compulsory heterosexuality, but frankly I don’t think the writers are well versed enough in queer theory for that to be a possibility.

Debbie as The White Feminist

Debbie is the pinnacle of white feminism. It’s an unfortunate thought that has occurred to me a few times throughout the show. She talks a big game as a man hater and someone after the equal treatment of women but she herself participates in a lot of problematic and anti feminist behavior.

For one, she r*ped Matty back in season 5 when he was blacked out and unconscious. This was a point in the story that was glossed over and one where she suffered no repercussions other than Matty no longer wanting to be around her. It was explained in the show that Debbie didn’t realize what she did was wrong until after she was explicitly told so because she was maybe 14 when it happened (not 100% on the age Shameless is very inconsistent about timelines). It was treated as somewhat of a punchline, something that Shameless has unfortunately done more than once when referring to male sexual assault (Mickey’s r*pe, Liam in season 10 ((i think??)) and in this latest season, Carl) but that is a different topic.

There was also the time in which she lied to her boyfriend about being on birth control so she could trap him into a relationship with pregnancy (which also counts as r*pe!!) Good on Derek for getting out of that.

Debbie has also been pro-life in the past. Now I understand this was when Fiona was pressuring her into aborting her pregnancy, and as a pro choicer myself, I believe that Debbie was fully in her right to have bodily autonomy and go through with the pregnancy. This isn’t where the issue lies. It’s when Fiona finds out that she too is pregnant and tells Debbie that she wants an abortion that Debbie accuses her of “killing her baby”. Again, her behavior could be explained by her age given that Debbie was still a young teen during this time.

When her actions as a White Feminist become less excusable is mostly in the latest season. Her relationship with Sandy is one that I’m not really happy with because Debbie doesn’t deserve her.

Recently, it has been revealed that Sandy is actually married to a man and has a son. It’s explained that she was basically married off against her will at the age of 15 to a man twice her age. This implies that the product of the marriage, her son, was most likely conceived through dubious consent (or worse) at the hands of an adult when she was just a kid. Just because Debbie thinks that Sandy’s husband “seems nice” does not give her the right to try and make a victim of grooming feel bad about not wanting to be with her abuser. While I understand that Sandy’s son has no fault in how he came into the world, I’m still gonna side with Sandy when it comes to having to take care of a child she didn’t want and who is most likely a source of trauma for her. It’s not difficult to sympathize with Sandy and see that she’s clearly gone through something fucked up and Debbie, despite claiming to love and support her, AND despite her dumb white feminist arc about wanting equal pay and all that jazz, turns her back on the girls supporting girls aspect of feminism.

This isn’t even mentioning how shitty it was to just leave Franny by herself and assume that one of her siblings would take her to school and pick her up and stuff as if they don’t all have separate lives. She talks a lot about being a good mother but decided to “let off some steam” by fucking off to a gay bar to get loaded on coke and fuck a gay man (which wtf thats not a thing that really happens with casual coke but whatever I guess). Once she realized she fucked up, instead of taking responsibility she decided to paint herself as the victim as well as spew offensive bullshit about how she “probably has AIDS now” because of her sexual encounter with a gay man. No lesbian in their right fucking mind would ever say that because as members of the LGBTQ+ community, you are at least a tiny bit informed as to how devastating and tragic the AIDS crisis was for queer people.

(I also have an issue with how Debbie capitalized on her felony as a sex offender and her sexuality to start her Hot Lesbian Convict business but I think that’s enough said.)

Blame the writers

The show got almost an entirely new cast of writers after season 7 which is why the show feels more like a sitcom with low stakes and no consequences rather than a drama, but if there is a queer writer on the team it’s not very evident. Even the better half of the queer relationship story, Ian and Mickey, I don’t feel has really been done justice since the change in writers. It’s just become painfully obvious that the actress is a straight girl playing a gay character (not to mention I have never seen any chemistry between her and all of her female love interests). I don’t fault Emma Kenney (the actress) for this. I actually really like her as a person and I like the videos she makes about the cast and such, and I think she does her best with the script she’s given. My complaints with Debbie are targeted entirely towards the writers.

This brings me to my final point. I need them to let Debbie be alone. Her whole thing for the second half of the season has been that she clearly has abandonment issues and is afraid of being alone. It’s why she’s so adamant about keeping the house and fighting with Lip about it (I’m actually on Debbie’s side for that one but that’s besides the point). They had her and Sandy break up which leaves Debbie to spiral further into her loneliness. From a writing point of view, it makes sense to take this opportunity to give her an arc in which she can overcome that and feel comfortable with herself so that she can move on as an adult instead of jumping into a new relationship. This is especially true since this is quite literally the last season ever of the show and any character development needs to be wrapped up. Introducing a new character out of nowhere does not give the viewers enough time to actually get invested in the new relationship. It’s also unfair to Debbie’s character because her arc is going to feel incomplete.

Anyway,,,,,,uuuhhhhh,,,,,feel free to add on if u want lmao

#shameless #debbie gallagher #sandy milkovich #lesbian #ian gallagher #mickey milkovich #terrible queer rep

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avasghost · 4 years ago

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When We Drown Update #1

wip intro here.

DISCLAIMER: this is my original work. please do not plagiarize in any way.

hello!! i’m back with the first when we drown update!

so. i’m around 8000 words into the draft. i started writing on february 15, and its currently march 20, so its already been over a month which is ... wild. time flies when ur having fun kids.

its flowed a lot smoother than crane anatomy so far. i’m really enjoying the process, since i’m not trying that hard to make it good?? i didn’t know i was capable of “not trying to make it good” but maybe i am 👀

the writing style is very different from crane anatomy. CA is very flowery, but the prose in WWD is a lot plainer. i really like both prose styles, which is why it’s nice to be able to alternate between them when i feel like writing in one and not the other.

i used to get these random line ideas when i was only writing crane anatomy, but they didn’t fit the prose of that book. i’ve realized that those lines fit perfectly into the style of this book so yay my children found a home <3

excerpts under the cut.

chapter 1: the lighthouse

the story opens on a lighthouse on new years eve, 1999. this was an image that popped in my head while i was brainstorming and i decided to jump in and start writing because i was Intrigued. it’s a snowy night, and a woman and her four-year-old son (elias) are on the run from other members of the cult she is part of. we see her finally picking up the courage to run away, because unfortunately in this cult leaving isn’t allowed and they want to kill her. this is why she’s so depressed all the time because :) cult trauma :) they escape from their pursuers by hiding in the lantern room of a lighthouse, and then the woman gives birth to a daughter, the protagonist. her brother, elias, is referred to as “you”, and even though she wasn’t born yet, april narrates this scene because she’s been told the story so many times that she thinks of it almost like a memory, sometimes she wonders if she actually does remember it slightly.

the first line:

The first time I met you was on the lighthouse. It was the midwinter of 1999, new years eve, five p.m., already dark. I wasn’t born yet.

i quite like this opening! every opening i’ve written for the last four books has been good so that’s good

anyway here’s some night ocean and moon imagery:

The black ocean dilated in a gauzy breeze far below, waves ruffling like crow’s feathers. The distant sloshing drowned out some of the noise of the men’s boots clattering on the stairs. A cloud slipped in front of the moon, puddling its glow.

then the woman and elias hide under some tarps in the lantern room and the men who are hunting them come and look for them and somehow don’t find them which is completely unrealistic but :) if they got found april would never be born so :) that wouldn’t work would it :)

and then the men leave and april is born in the lantern room which was the most aesthetic birth i could think of okay. i had to. also the new years fireworks start going off:

We slept in the lantern tower. The beam that guided sailors lanced over our heads, a pinprick you hardly noticed. The fireworks all burst at once – a blur of orange, green and blue lights popcorning in the dark. I was tiny, too skinny, I shouldn’t have survived the night, but I did. Mother told me years later that I was the last baby of the 20th century, and that made me lucky.

the irony <3

chapter 2: lacuna

this is a chapter that takes place years later (and covers the first nine years of april’s life) and talks about her awful childhood. her older brother, elias, is her only friend other than two other girls (Elena and Magnolia). lets just say her life is terrible and i’m v happy i’m not her!

Mother always said I looked like her, and you looked like our father. I never thought so, even though I’d never seen pictures of him. Mother never showed us any. I couldn’t bring myself to associate you with him. From what I’d heard of father, you and him were opposites, different entities, born in different worlds and buried in different graveyards.

and their mother tells the story of april’s birth so often that april thinks of it as a memory, which is why she was able to narrate it:

She retold the story of my birth so frequently that every detail was visceral in my mind: the snow sparkling in juts of moonlight, a lonely rowboat almost invisible in the dark sea, the footsteps thudding along the passage, fireworks sparking in the sky and lighting the night on fire.

chapter 3: found and lost

in chapter three, ten-year-old april and fourteen-year-old elias play hide and seek and april fails to find elias. he is unfortunately never seen again.

the first line of the chapter:

There was a stretch of time when life was at its fullest, even if, for me, that meant half-empty. Ten years old, you were fourteen. Still friends, we didn’t share the usual sibling rivalry. It was midwinter, four days before my birthday. Ice glossed the branches of the spindly elm trees that studded our quiet street, scabbed the pavement so it was hard to walk.

yes i know this is set in BC and it doesn’t snow that much here but the aesthetic was too perfect so this is apparently an alternate BC where it snows a lot <3

another brief lighthouse description:

The lighthouse was a pinnacle that made an incision in the sky, clouds spiralled around it. Close enough to walk, too far to see in detail. Its lonely beam jittered over the water, even in broad daylight.

april counts and then goes to look for elias

Snow crinkled in my mittens, numbed my fingers so I could hardly move them. Rice-paper clouds obscured most of the sun, so the light that dribbled through was watery and lukewarm.

but she can’t find him

I searched every corner of the forest, every backyard of every stranger, I searched the lighthouse where I was born, I searched the rim of the ocean, which churned like a flame, licking the sand, eating it, spitting it out. The world snowglobed around me, disorientating every thought and movement. No birds, no beasts, no you. In that frozen world I was alone. The sky melted into a deep Aegean blue, and the stars winked like exit wounds, every tear an ocean, every finger an ice cap. Tears shuddered down my cheeks. They shattered on the icy pavement as I walked home, hoping you would hop out from behind a tree, a house. Maybe you were already home, maybe this was all a joke.

and time passes and they still can’t find him

Everyone said you must have drowned, even though they searched the ocean floor for days and never found your body. Maybe it had already drifted beyond our reach, they said. Maybe you were eaten by something, and your remains coated the mouth of some sea monster long assumed to be extinct.

at the end of chapter three, there’s a scene break that flashes forward to when april is fourteen, walking along the beach in a mist, and she sees elias’s ghost for the first time, and is momentarily convinced that he’s still alive, just like she thought.

It was almost unnoticeable, the way you popped up. A face in my peripheral, probably just a memory in the corner of my mind. But when I looked, you were there: a pearly mist with a face, eyes, a mouth. You breathed daylight, basked in fog like a natural habitat. I stared, unsure of what you were, where you were. Was this it? Had I been right all along? You were here, drifting in front of me, disembodied but still very much alive.

chapter 4: gooseberries

short flashback chapter! i wrote this entire chapter in about half an hour. its only 700 words, but i’m a very slow writer and that’s a lot of words for me to write in such a short time. also this chapter helped me realize that i want to write this book non-linearly! i love non-linear books and i think its a perfect form for this book!

the flashback goes to when april is still a baby (i know she shouldn’t be able to remember this but? she just does okay) and their mother takes her and elias to the woods and they hide in the roots of this tree while she goes and gets stuff for them to eat: gooseberries and pine needles (had to look up an article about edible wilderness food). april chokes on a gooseberry and elias helps her, which creates trust, and distrust of the mother because she didn’t try to help at all. thats it thats the chapter. not entirely happy with this, it needs a lot of work, but i think its still necessary to keep in the book for now.

She left, and like a mother bird, found food and brought back heaps of veiny gooseberries, her pockets stuffed with red pine needles, which she knew were edible from a wilderness survival course she took in high school. I had no teeth back then, the craggy flesh of my gums wasn’t enough to chew berries or pine needles, my throat too frail to swallow.

that’s all i have for this update! i know i said in the wip intro that there wouldn’t be updates very often, but i think the next WWD update will be soon because i’m really in flow atm!

- Ava

Taglist (please ask to be added or removed!) : @shaelinwrites @august-iswriting @wildswrites @nodeadnarrators @annlillyjose @shaonharryandpannisim @letsgetsquiggly @strangerays @mel-writes-with-her-dragons @chloeswords @teaandtypewriters

#my writing #excerpts #am writing #writers on tumblr #writing update #when we drown #writeblr #when we drown update #boosts appreciated

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missskzbiased · 4 years ago

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Getting a Roommate (6)

I’m back again~

Sorry for the delay, I had a shitty week and I had to rewrite a lot of things because I didn’t like them.

I liked the ‘step’ thing so I did it again suhahusauhsa but this time I used parts from Disney Songs kkkk I blame Ursula for singing ‘Poor Unfortunate Souls’

The next one will probably be the last.

Do you guys want to suggest something? Would you prefer if she ended up with Chan or Minho?

I’m thinking about the next one having smut, but I actually suck in kiss and sex scenes. So I will have to search for references if I really do it.

Anyway, enough rambling

Genre: Fluff, Romance; Sugestive; College Au; Roommate Au; Love Triangle

Pairing: Minho X Reader X Chan

Word Count: ~9,2K

Female Lead

Warnings: Language, Sugestive stuff (?)

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Final)

//////

Minho found himself at your door knocking weakly.

It has been less than an hour since he bathed and started to wonder what he would do. Should he just talk to you normally? Should he pretend it didn’t happen? Should he talk about it with you? But what he was going to say? Yeah, you got me hard, sorry. He cringed. Why did you want to talk about it anyway? It would just be awkward…

You opened the door and stood there, looking at him.

Great. Not awkward at all. The silence was comfortable as fuck.

Minho wrapped up himself and breathed deeply. He had already gone through a lot of weird situations with other girls; it shouldn’t be that hard to talk through things, right? He just needed to stay calm and do what he always did. He just needed a plan, a way to make things go right and he knew exactly what to do.

He made his way to your room and smiled in your direction.

Step 1: Let’s get down to business

“You can sit on my bed” You said to him, motioning to the bed. Minho sat down on the edge of your bed, fighting back his flustered self. He eyed you from bellow, watching as you approached him and he wished you would just sit on his lap and ride him like you would like to do with Chan.

He cleared his throat and picked up a pillow, laying it on his lap.

“So… What do you want to talk about?” He asked unsurely and you sat down beside him, feeling awkward yourself.

“I just wanted to make sure we’re fine” You said eyeing him and he scoffed.

“I should be the one asking it, though” He sighed “it weren’t you the one with an erection in the middle of the corridor, was it?” He grimaced ashamed and you snorted.

“Yeah, it definitely wasn’t me” You assured, feeling like laughing at the situation “But I’m fine with it, really… I just didn’t realize you saw me as a girl” She admitted.

“I didn’t” He agreed calmly “I mean! I don’t! I don’t see you as a girl at all!” He assured eagerly and you scoffed.

“Oh, thanks! You don’t need to be so hard about it” You said sarcastically and he averted his eyes “Sorry. Too soon?” You smiled sheepishly.

“Way too soon” He laughed, looking back at you “I wasn’t really expecting you to be like that on the corridor… I just came into the house to see a girl almost naked on the corridor and… Well…” You were hot, he wanted to say but didn’t, trying to find some better wording.

“You got hard, I get it” You agreed and he cringed “That’s nothing wrong with it, you don’t need to take it to your heart… If it makes you feel better I found you and Hyunjin in your boxers really hot” You said shyly and he looked at you cockily.

“So you’re saying you got wet to see me in my boxers?” He joked but you couldn’t laugh at it “Wait. Did you?” He asked surprised, almost expectantly.

“I don’t mind it now” You assured and he grinned at you.

“Were you hoping I would show up here in my towel?” He mocked you and you glared at him.

“Oh, so we already over you being aroused on the corridor?” You mocked back and he scoffed.

“I was going to be shy about it, but now that I know you liked the view I don’t have to feel apologetic, right?” He was playing low and you laughed. It was a good thing that he could joke around with you normally.

“I think you were the one hoping to come in and see me in the towel, meekly waiting for you” You teased him and you felt powerful to see his eyes getting darker. Was it lust in his eyes? You weren’t sure. He cleared his throat and smiled at you.

“So we’re joking around like always. Should I consider we’re fine with each other?” He asked unsurely and you smiled teasingly at him.

“No hard feelings” You assured and he groaned.

“Stop it!” He whined and you cackled “You just think it’s funny because it wasn’t you!”

“Being a girl had to have some advantage, right?” You chuckled “When I’m aroused you can’t see it, you have to feel it” You reasoned giggling and Minho let out a whine that sounded way too sexy in your ears. You looked at his lips distracted by the sound and your eyes wandered over it for a bit too long as he bit his lower lip.

Minho saw the way you were looking at his lips, focused, and gulped down. He had to calm down. It was totally okay that you were on your shorts and a strapped tank top that highlighted curves he would like to explore, he could handle it. He shifted on the bed, trying to distract himself from his thoughts, and his sudden moves got you surprised.

You let out a strangled gasp and blushed.

“Oh?” He grinned mischievously “Was it an invitation to feel you, kitty?” He asked, letting the pillow rest in bed and approaching you as if he was going to pin you down. You stopped breathing unknowingly “Is that what you want?” He asked with a deep voice, his face was close enough for his breath fanning over your neck and face and you felt a shiver run down your spine.

You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything, but you were quite sure if he did try to feel you over your shorts he would find a pool between your legs and you felt so… Ashamed he had this effect on you that you averted your eyes. He seemed to take it in the wrong way because he promptly backed away.

“Sorry” He said quickly getting up from you. You could see he was hard again and you bit your lip “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, my bad” and he motioned to get up. You wanted to grab his hand, pull him back, and help him out with his… Problem, and then you thought about Chan. Whatever was going on with you two wasn’t really official, but would you like to have two fuck buddies like this? A second look at Minho’s bulge answered your question easily.

Hell yes, you would.

“I wasn’t uncomfortable, I…” But you were interrupted by a loud Hyunjin.

“You shouldn’t have left me behind, bro!” He whined at the corridor and Minho looked up to the door.

“I’m in Y/N’s room” He shouted and soon Hyunjin opened your door without even knocking.

“Hmm did I interrupt something?” He asked teasingly looking at Minho.

“Don’t talk nonsense” Minho rolled his eyes and Hyunjin scoffed muttering a ‘Yeah, right’ under his breath as he sits down on your bed.

“Don’t go” You asked him and Minho eyed you confused “I need someone to back me up” You lied and Minho chuckled, sitting down on your chair. Hyunjin looked at you with a serious expression and sighed.

“I’m really sorry, Y/N” He stated.

“That’s it?” You asked incredulously “You’re kidding me?”

“I… Well, that was all I had, actually” He admitted and Minho laughed out loud.

“It seems someone will keep on not getting laid” He sang and Hyunjin frowned.

“What are you even sorry about?” You asked and Hyunjin seemed to wonder.

“For everything, I guess… I shouldn’t have been an ass to you when you came to see the place just because I thought you were going to disturb my sex life” He apologized and then thought for a split of a second “Although I was right on that, hm? I’m not getting laid because of you” He frowned but then shook his head “But it’s my fault. I get it. I shouldn’t have done it on the couch either since you were sleeping there at the time… I don’t really see the problem yet, but I guess you don’t see the problem of not getting laid, and here I am pissed off at you” He reasoned.

“I’m not even sure if it counts as an apology” You said astonished.

“What I’m trying to say” He tried again “Is that I was disrespectful to you in many situations even if you didn’t have done anything at that time, so I should have been nicer from the beginning and it got me to be needy to have sex to understand that something that is not an issue for me can be an issue for you and you have all the right to be pissed” He finished.

It sounded good enough for you, even if he was apologizing just to get laid… You were annoying him for weeks just because he didn’t apologize, so you thought it was fair enough. You looked to Minho but he seemed lost in his thoughts, his eyes focused on your leg or on your bed, you weren’t quite sure. Oblivious to your look, Minho was mad at himself for eyeing your legs with so much desire.

Since the moment you asked what Hyunjin was sorry about, frowning almost unperceptively, he got lost in you. He hated you for it. You just made one simple question, looking at Hyunjin seriously and approaching your brows, the skin on your nose wrinkling and making you look like a cute and mad bunny. It was simple actions like this that made him think you were cute and it didn’t really bother him before, but now every time he thinks you’re cute he remember that you aren’t just cute.

He also found you hot.

Was it really fair that you looked so innocent and still managed to look so hot at the same time? He didn’t think so. He trailed down your body with his eyes until he reached for your shorts, a bloody piece of cloth that you often wear but doesn’t cover a damn thing on your beautiful and desirable flesh.

He had to stop it!

You were on your shorts, a bloody piece of cloth that looked really good on you, he corrected himself. You wear it so often he already has lost himself on every damn curve of your legs and hoped he could be blind so he wouldn’t have to see it every morning and still he wished to guide himself with his hands, finding his way through your thighs and…

‘For lord sake! Are you a fucking virgin?’ He thought madly ‘Haven’t you seen like a thousand thighs opening up for you and letting you fuck them? So why the fuck couldn’t you take your damn eyes from her legs?’ He was worried about getting you uncomfortable someday. You were his friend. His friend. Just his friend. Like just friends that don’t fuck at all even though he really wanted it. That kind of friend.

What an unfortunate life.

“… Don’t you agree, Minho?” You ask him and he snapped his eyes to your face. Minho looked at Hyunjin, looking for some sign of their friendship on his, hoping He would enlighten him, but He smiled smugly at Minho like he knew what he was thinking.

Why was he his friend again? Minho thought to himself.

“Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention” He confessed and you scoffed.

“I was saying that I’m glad Hyunjin understands that He was being a jerk and I think He could even join us on the couch for the night” You clarified.

Join us on the couch.

Was he creepy or were you so not interested in him that you just say stuff like this mindlessly? If He was fair, He would probably say both.

“So we ended up the ‘don’t fuck on my couch’ era to begin a ‘let’s have a threesome on the couch’ era? I do like where this is going” He joked, trying to look normal. You seemed relieved at his behavior, showing no signs of awkwardness like you thought he would after getting away from you. He thanked God you couldn't read his mind because he was quite sure everything would be awkward by now.

“It’s the second time you joke about sex group on the couch” You reminded him as you remembered the day he said you should totally try to fuck Chan “I guess you’re really into sex group” You laughed. Minho remembered it too and was disappointed with himself for trying to push you to Chan. He had great ideas back then, hm?

“Not really, I would prefer to have you all for myself” He stated.

There was it.

You didn’t even need to read his mind, because He’s a fucking moron that doesn’t think twice before saying some shit like this. He forced a laugh, an obviously feigned laugh that was way out of time to make sense and Hyunjin laughed along with him. Minho wasn’t sure if he was laughing at him or with him to help out a friend, but he would bet it was at him.

“What a greedy boy” You teased and smugly smiled at him “That’s a shame, though, because kitty here is taken”

What was that?

“Kitty is taken?” He asked and you nodded.

“Well, not really” You corrected yourself “But I do think that maybe I can get there with Chan” You wondered.

Oh, Minho thought. Well, of course, you would like to date Chan! Why wouldn’t you? He was nice and gentle and helped you when you needed, changed your lock, and asked you on a movie date that sounded better then what you had with him even though yours was exactly the same thing.

Ouch.

He knew he shouldn’t feel hurt about it, it wasn’t like he liked you, right? Right. It was just that he would like you to be his fuck buddy and you were already taken. It hadn’t anything to do with feelings at all. Why would he have feelings for you? You’re cute, funny, crude, gentle, smart, sexy, hot, pretty and a damn good company. That was it. You were a really good person that He liked as that: A person. It happened that He also liked to fuck some people and you were one of those people. That was it.

He wanted you to be his new fuck buddy and nothing more.

Then again, you were taken. Not really taken, but you wanted to get there. He couldn’t really fuck someone who was taken, right? So it was natural that he felt a little bit down to know it. It was just that he couldn’t get what he wanted: You.

“So you like him” He stated, just to be the friend you expected him to be and not the fuckboy he was sure he was right now.

“I wouldn’t say I like him” You said unsurely “I do think He’s nice and all and I would like to fuck him for sure, but… I don’t know. Actually, I may be a little bit insecure” You confessed.

She wouldn’t say she liked him, He repeated in his head. Was that supposed to make him that happy? No, It wasn’t.

“Insecure?” Hyunjin asked surprise “He is so into you that if he was a dick you would be pregnant by now” Minho wouldn’t really say Hyunjin had a poet side, but He did have a point. If Chan could be in your pants right now He would.

“Oh my god!” You cringed “We’re not that kind of friends yet, Hyunjin!” and you laughed while Hyunjin whined.

“Sorry, I was just surprised” He apologized and you snorted.

“What are you insecure about? You’re perfect” Oh boy. Could He be any smoother? Absolutely.

“I don’t want to talk about it” You stated shortly and Minho sensed there was something wrong. Was it because Hyunjin was here? Was it something you were really embarrassed about? What could you be so embarrassed about that made you hesitate to fuck Chan?

“Well, since we sorted everything out… Minho, give me your keys so I can finally go fuck someone” Hyunjin pleaded. Poor boy, he was eager.

“It’s on my bed, you can pick it” Minho answered and soon Hyunjin was out.

“Try to use protection, kids” He yelled from Minho’s room and both of you groaned while he was going away.

“He’s so random” Minho complained “Hm… Kitty? Do you want to talk about Chan?” He asked unsurely and you shook your head.

“There’s nothing to talk about… I’m just figuring some things out” You assured “I… I… Well, it’s nothing” You gave up on talking about it. What the hell would Minho do if you said your insecurity was because you didn’t know how to fuck someone being a sub and you weren’t sure Chan would want you if you weren’t? What could he do? Absolutely nothing. You sighed.

“When you feel comfortable to share I will be all ears for you” He smiled, patting your shoulder “I hope you understand that I’m your friend even if… If I did not behave my best today” He cleared his throat “So… Whenever you feel like talking, I’m here for you” He assured and you felt the urge to hug him. He was so cute trying to make you feel comfortable enough to share things with him even though he knew you had Felix to talk to. You smiled and nudged him lightly.

“I know… When I feel ready to talk about it I will look for you” Your smile was cute and tiny, shy, and Minho found his stomach dropping at it. He wished he didn’t have to lie to you, but if he wanted to be your friend he had to.

He would prefer not to hear about Chan from you if he would be sincere, but then what kind of friend would he be? His current thought was spinning around the fact that you didn’t really like Chan yet and even though you would like to fuck him you didn’t want it, for now, so He still had a chance somehow. And it wasn’t a really friendly thought. All He could think is that even if Chan started faster, he was with you for longer so you may not feel insecure with him. Maybe… Maybe he had a chance?

He felt ashamed.

As your friend, He shouldn’t hope for you to choose him, especially if it was because you were debating inside yourself something that clearly made you insecure. He looked you in the eyes and you were still smiling at him, oblivious to his thoughts.

He felt guilty.

“Are you up to movie night?” He asked hopefully and you beamed.

“Of course! I thought it was our thing” You laughed “You didn’t even need to ask something like this” You rolled your eyes.

“Great… See you later. I’ll be in my room if you need anything” He said suspiciously like he didn’t want to spend the night with you, which made you kinda sad. Did he want to avoid you? You hoped he didn’t. Minho got out of your room and went straight to his, locking his door and sighing deeply. How would he spend the night watching movies with you if he couldn’t even spent a few minutes beside you without having some kind of dirty thoughts? It would be hell.

He could only think about how you guys always sprawled together on the couch, nudging each other with your feet and sometimes gently caressing your knees down to your shin… Sometimes even snuggling, when you wanted to lay down on his chest and sat between his legs, leaning on him and watching the movie peacefully… He knew you didn’t mean anything by it, since you did it with Felix too. It was just your way to live. You were a really cuddling type and you cuddled all your friends. Of course, that was obviously totally fine! Great! Amazingly awesome…

He would totally blow up your friendship.

////

Step 2: Don’t underestimate the importance of body language

You got yourselves some snacks like always and sat down on the couch, looking at Minho sitting down strangely rigid, as if he was uncomfortable as hell to be there with you. Should you have called someone else to join you? Maybe Felix or Chan? Even Jisung or Changbin? You shrugged it, he would get used to it somehow. It’s not like you were feeling strange around him because of the events that occurred earlier, right?

Yeah, right!

You could only scoff at yourself. When you saw him standing on the corridor, frozen, you felt so lost you didn’t even know what to do, so you picked up the key chain from the floor and looked at him, happy to get a cute gift like this. And there he was looking flushed and disturbed by your presence… If He asked you, you would have to say he was looking sexy all blushed and with so much desire in his eyes. He looked at you like you were the only thing in the world right now and the bulge in his pants didn’t help the situation.

It looked… Interesting.

You almost felt the urge to simply get him out of his pants and see for yourself. You always were the curious type so maybe that was why you wanted so much to see and touch it. Uhum… That was it. You felt powerful looking at it. He was like that because of you. Just because of you. And he looked so ashamed that you wanted to tease the hell out of him, but choose to comfort him. He needed to feel okay with it because you were totally fine to see him like that. As fine as one could be.

You would be lying if you said you didn’t feel aroused yourself.

You knew too damn well that the wetness you felt between your thighs had nothing to do with your bath and you would be lying if you said you didn’t want to get into shower with him. Were you a slut? You felt filthy. He was just your friend and he saw you like that, clearly embarrassed to even have thought something out that line.

“What do you want to watch?” He asked calmly, seeming to be getting more comfortable with you again.

“Some romance?” You asked unsurely “We have been watching a lot of animations lately and Chan likes it too… I would like to watch something different today” You explained and he agreed.

“Fine, let’s watch… This one?” He stopped on some random movie and you nodded. Why not? It seemed cliché enough for you. He played it and you eyed him nervously.

“Can I…” You motioned to him, expecting him to be fine with your cuddle like always. He didn’t even respond, he smiled sweetly at you and opened his legs and arms so you could place yourself on him. He laid down on the couch, inclining himself to be with his back partially on the seat and let you lay down on him. As soon as you were set on him, he threw his leg over your hips and involved your waist with his arm.

“Comfortable?” He muttered and you nodded, happy to be normally snuggling with him. Maybe he would get through the awkwardness by himself.

The movie was sugar sweet, it was cute and funny. You laughed along with him for the most part, getting this warm feeling on your heart you always get when you see a romance. The male lead was insanely hot and perfect, something you knew couldn’t happen in real life, and the female lead was badassy until she fell in love with the guy, like always. You wondered if love made people less badass with time, you hoped not to turn some kind of adorable ball of furr when you love someone.

Your train of thoughts was interrupted by a gasp and bodies crashing on the wall.

Okay, so maybe it was a little bit awkward to be cuddling your friend while two actors were smashing their mouths like they needed it to survive. You gulped down and you felt Minho tensing under you. Their hands hovered over each other's bodies and you felt weird when you heard the actor moaning, imagining how Minho would sound if you were like that with him. Would he sound hot like this? You shifted in your place, trying to find a better position so you could get distracted from your arousal.

Then you heard it.

Minho grunted under you with your sudden movement, rubbing against him by accident.

A damn hot accident.

“Sorry” You muttered embarrassed. Maybe it was on your mind, but you could smell your arousal so you pressed your legs together, uncomfortable, and it made your hips brush his again. Minho’s hands shot at your arms, holding you firmly by the shoulders and you whimpered, he groaned and leaned his head on your back.

“Please, stop moving” He pleaded and you felt the blood rush to your face.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to…” You tried to look at him, but he averted his eyes. He looked at TV and seemed to thought it was a bad idea because he brought his eyes to the ground, refusing to look at you. You could feel him under you, feel his arousal “I will… I will get off of you” And you tried to move away. He snapped his eyes to your hips and his hand to his mouth, biting his knuckle so he could control himself.

Only God knew how much effort he was putting in it.

He wanted to grab you and let you right on his lap like you almost were, but he did know he shouldn’t. Earlier you weren’t comfortable with it so why would you be right now? He had to remind himself you were just his friend and you didn’t want to be anything more for now.

“It’s my fault” He apologized, helping you out of him.

“I don’t mind” You said quite boldly and He scoffed.

“You don’t have to lie to me, Y/N” He sighed “I know you want to fuck Chan and you made it clear earlier that you don’t want to fuck me as well”

When the hell did you let that clear?

“It’s not true!” You denied and then gasped. What would you say? I want to fuck you too? “I’m… Not lying to you, I really don’t mind” You decided to say and He scoffed again.

“I’m not dumb, Y/N, and neither are you… Are you saying you don’t mind your roommate… Worse! Your friend! Getting horny as fuck and wanting to fuck you until you can’t even remember your damn name?!” His voice was getting higher, cleared frustrated, and you pressed your thighs together again with the thought of him madly fucking you until you forgot your name.

It sounded… Wow.

He seemed to notice you pressing your legs and arched a brow.

“Oh? Did I misread you?” His voice was dangerously sly and you felt thrilled by it “Or did I just see you pressing your legs right in front of my face?” He asked smugly and you bit your lip.

“What if you misread me?” You challenged him and he smiled.

“I guess I would have to read you properly then… Because I must have been blind to not see how your body is begging for me, kitty” He got closer to you, supporting himself with one hand on the couch while he gently forced your legs away with his knees, supporting himself on it. His other hands went to your chin, holding it with a dominance you didn’t know he had in him.

His embarrassed self was nowhere to be seen.

“I’m not begging” You stated just to feel you had something to say and he snorted.

“But you will… Like the needy…” He couldn’t end his sentence because for the thousandth time today you were interrupted.

He broke away from you as fast as thunder.

You missed his touch.

The key sounds on the door stopped and the door opened slowly to show a beamed Hyunjin, happily humming something like life was the most beautiful thing he ever seen. What good sex couldn’t do to people, hm? You just wished Hyunjin would give you that damn chance he took away.

“Hi, my dearests roommates” He smiled at both of you “My day was endearing if you guys want to know it! Y/N, thank you so much for staying out of my way today… I think I never loved you more than now” He seemed relaxed and happy and you laughed at that, incredulous.

“You look like another person” You said and he smiled at you.

“A sexless life can get you grumpy” He explained “You should try it, Chan will definitely do it with you, I’m sure”

If Minho could shot a hole on Hyunjin's head right now He probably would.

He did not only interrupted you two, but he also compelled you to go to Chan to get laid. What a fucking friend he had! Again, he didn’t really know you were about to fuck her, right? So he couldn’t blame him at all…

////

Step 3: Make your wildest dreams come true

You stood there looking at your ceiling, your body slightly trembling as your uneven breathing filled your room and your heart beat on your chest like a drum, the heat spreading over your face, neck, and chest as you inhaled heavily, trying to calm down. You gripped your thighs a little bit harder than before and let them go, resting your legs and arms on your bed as you felt whole.

Did you just masturbate thinking about Minho?

Holy crap…

You didn’t imagine this day would come. But it came. And you came hard.

You wanted to fuck Minho.

It wasn’t a fuzzy feeling of love or anything like that, although you wished it was. It felt like a monster was peeking, something inside you was so attentive it could even smell his presence if it was possible. You found your body asking for you to go to his room right now and wake him up and beg him to fuck you like he said he could. Scream his name until Hyunjin could hear you and complain about it in the morning. Make the neighbors familiar with your voice and his name.

Maybe you were wanting something that wasn’t true.

Could he really make you feel this way? In your mind, he could. He did. You swallowed thick, remembering what you just did a few moments ago and the shame crashed you.

You masturbated to Minho.

Your friend and roommate. Someone you would run into the place all the time, shirtless or not, and every time you eye him his voice would come to your ear, moaning, praising, teasing you… You couldn’t handle it. You felt your throat go dry and you gathered your strength so you could go to the kitchen. Your legs weren’t really supporting you yet, so you just dragged your steps, woobly, until you reached for the stool.

“Are you okay?” You heard his worried voice from behind and he strode in your direction.

Just what you needed.

“I’m fine” Your voice sounded raspy and you tried to clear your throat “I’m really thirsty and a little bit sleepy” You lied and he nodded.

“Just sit down, I will give it to you” He said, walking to the fridge and you stood there, watching him. You knew he was hot, but you didn’t really think about it before. His arms weren’t really build-up, but they were defined and big enough for you to hold them fiercely while he… No! Don’t think about it! Behave! You gulped down as he picked up a glass and filled it with water for you. You couldn’t help but to watch his fingers embracing the glass and the jar, just like he could do with… FOR LORD SAKE! STOP IT! Not everything is about sex, woman!

“Thank you” you mouthed as he gave you the glass and sat down beside you, filling a glass for himself. Please don’t start drinking it like these hot guys on TV. Please don’t drink it like hot guys on TV. Holy shit, he drank it like a hot guy on TV. Oh boy. You choked on your water and he got startled.

“Calm down, kitty” He said gently, patting your back. He wasn’t even thinking about resuming from where you left earlier and it made you feel humiliated. Were you the only one thinking about it? Touching yourself? You eyed his crotch without thinking, but he wasn’t hard. You were the only one thinking shit.

“Give it to me” You asked, pointing to the jar and he filled your glass instead.

“So…” He began, unsure “We’re cool about the couch thing?”

“What couch thing?” You’re not really good at playing dumb, hm?

“Okay, I get it” He snorted and got up from the stool “Good night, kitty” He said and he seemed… Down. You pushed that thought aside. You were making things up on your mind. Minho wasn’t feeling down because you feigned it didn’t mean anything to you… He couldn’t mind it. And even if he did, you had to remember he wasn’t the one you were interested in, it was Chan.

When you felt better, Minho has gone for a long time already, you stood up, washed the glasses, and went to your room.

Unfortunately, you did dream about things you shouldn’t.

///

Step 4: Don’t let them know

Was the universe punishing you?

There you laid on your bed, your cramps killing you.

You didn’t even realize you were close to your period, maybe that was why you were so horny about all that stuff yesterday. Yeah, it was probably it. Now you couldn’t really think about getting fucked and nothing like this, you could only feel the pain and shrink on your bed, hoping it would go away. Your phone vibrated and you picked it up to check what was happening. It was a call.

“Hey, babygirl! Wanna go on a date today? “Chan’s voice sounded through your ears and you smiled. You would love to go, but you were dying, so you would have to pass.

“Sorry, I’m not in the mood…” You apologized, sighing.

“Oh? Are you okay?” He asked concerned, wondering if he did something wrong.

“Yeah, I’m just in pain… I don’t really think I have it in me to do anything today” You whined and he went silent.

“Did Hyunjin do something again?” He asked seriously and you scoffed.

“Oh, no! We’re fine now. It’s just cramps” You admitted, feeling shy about it.

“Oh!” He seemed surprised and you laughed. What was it with boys and periods? “Gotcha. Okay then, bye!” He said cutely and hung up. Wow… Not really fond of periods, hm? You shrugged it off and turned around on your bed, trying to find a way to ease the pain. You should have remembered to buy the pills.

“Y/N, is everything okay? You didn’t leave your room all morning” You heard Minho knocking on the door and you asked him to come in. He found you shrank in bed, your back to your door “Are you okay? Do you want to talk?” He asked concerned and you felt your bed sink as he sat on the corner of your bed, his hand resting gently on your arm. You smiled with yourself and shook your head.

“Everything is fine, I’m on my period” You explained, stretching your neck so you could look at him “I forgot to buy my cramp medicine so I’m here waiting for god to have some mercy” and he laughed at it.

“Was that it? Are you dumb? Why didn’t you call me? I will go buy it, okay? Do you need some pads too?” He asked and got up from your bed.

“Oh my god, are you an angel?” You asked with shining eyes and he cackled up “If you could buy me tampons it would be great, actually. My money is on my desk” You said smiling weakly and he snorted.

“I think I have money enough to buy you some pills and tampons, Y/N” He mocked “You can pay me with some cuddle, ice cream, and a bonus movie night” He said and you laughed.

“Boyfriend material!” You cheered him and he laughed “Seriously, you’re the best” You assured him “I will tell all your dates you’re the best man in all world” You promised and it made him give you a grimace, thanking you half-heartedly and closing your door. You didn’t notice his change of mood, but you felt the pain worsening again. Ugh… Why life must be so painful?

You probably waited for about fifteen minutes and then you heard a knock on your door. Wow, that was quite fast! You shouted a ‘come in!’ and you got really surprised to see Chan standing there, two bags on his hands and a bright smile on his face. You sat down, feeling lost, and frowned at him.

“What are you doing here?” You asked startled.

“Oh, it’s nice to see you too, babygirl” He said sarcastically, sitting beside you and you smiled sheepishly “I bought you some tampons and some medicine” He said, taking those out of the bag and giving it to you “I thought you would like some food too since that’s what my sister always asks me” He said while picking up some chocolate and other snacks and putting it down on your bed “and here it’s water so you can take your pills” He gave you a water bottle and you promptly took the pills “And I heard cuddling and warming your stomach really helped” He smiled shyly and you laughed.

“Why didn’t you say you were coming?! Minho went out to… Oh!” You remembered startled “I gotta call Minho” Chan eyed you as you dialed his number and waited for few seconds “Hey, Minho? Chan showed up here. Yeah, he got me everything. Oh, you didn’t buy it yet? Thank god! Yeah, okay. Thank you!” you hung up and smiled at Chan.

“Minho and Felix really got your back, hm?” He asked smiling and you smiled back.

“Yeah, Felix is my best friend and Minho…” You trailed off and Chan seemed to notice “I mean, Minho is the roommate I always asked for” You stated and Chan nodded.

“Just it?” His voice sounded insecure and you looked him in the eyes.

“What do you mean?” You asked, He averted his eyes.

“Don’t you like him?” He asked shyly and you scoffed.

“I don’t like Minho!” You said as if he had told you the best joke ever “Where did it come from?” Chan looked at you in the eyes, seeming to be having an inner battle as he frowned and bit his lips. You waited patiently so he could feel comfortable saying it. What gave him that impression?

“Can I kiss you?” He asked out of nowhere, his voice so low you almost couldn’t hear it. His eyes trailed over your lips and you moistened them with your tongue, expecting. You looked in his eyes and waited silently. He took your eager eyes like an invitation and leaned in.

His lips were soft on yours, gentle and caring. He grazed his tongue over your bottom lip, asking for your permission and you promptly gave it to him. His kiss began so soft you almost felt loved, his hands cupped your cheeks and he entangled his tongue with yours passionately, making you respond as eagerly as he kissed you. Your hands shot to his hair, pulling softly at his nape, making him groan into the kiss as he gently leaned you down on the mattress. You felt his body over yours and his hand left your cheek to sink on the bed, right beside your face as his other hand trailed to the back of your neck, guiding you through the kiss.

When he parted his lips away, you opened your eyes to find yourself diving into his.

He looked at you as if you were his whole world.

“Y/N, I like you” He said suddenly, taking you by surprise.

You didn’t know what to say.

His kiss felt good, felt loving, yet you never ever thought about feelings for him You knew he was great and caring, gentle, thoughtful, and seemed like the perfect boyfriend… And he liked you. You never thought he would say it to you like this after a kiss shared on your bed on a crampy day. He must have felt ashamed by your delay to answer him because he got back and sat uncomfortably.

“I guess you like him, hm?” He sighed and you short your brows up.

“Like him? What are you talking about?” You asked confused.

“Minho” He clarified “You seem fond of him every time I see you two together… So I just figured…”

“I don’t like him” You assured, grabbing his hand “It’s just that I’m not sure I like you too… I want you, I really do, and I would be lying to you if I said I don’t want Minho too… I guess I’m just sluty these days” You laughed and he frowned at you.

“You’re not a slut because you want to have sex with us” He said with a serious expression that made you scoff.

“I’m joking, calm down” You squeezed his hand “Anyway… I don’t want to say I like you back if I’m not sure about it”

“I understand” He assured “And I appreciate it, really” It was his time to squeeze your hand “If you want to be casual about it, I can handle myself” He laughed, looking at you with playful eyes, and you felt relieved he was okay with it “Now let’s eat and cuddle up, hm? Let’s chase away these cramps” He said as he laid down with you, hugging you from your back.

Not too long after this you fell asleep, peacefully snoring on your bed as Chan smiled looking at your face, your body turned around at some point of your cuddling so you could rest your head on his chest. He gently caressed your cheek, putting away a lock of hair that fell on your closed eyes. He grazed his lips on your hair, lefting a soft kiss there and withdraw from you. He got up, making sure to be as gentle as possible so he wouldn’t wake you up and lef you there.

“Going home already?” Minho asked him as he was making his way through the kitchen.

“Yeah, she fell asleep” He answered awkwardly and Minho arched a brow.

“What’s up?” Minho asked curiously and Chan averted his eyes, seeming to think deeply about something.

“Do you like her?” He asked suddenly and Minho widened his eyes.

“What? No!” He scoffed “Why do you think that?” His voice sounded suspicious and Chan narrowed his eyes.

“Well, that time you went to see us” He started unsurely, looking at Minho who nodded his way “I saw how you were hugging her, rocking her so… Lovely… You even kissed her head” He remembered and Minho sighed. So Chan saw you both that day, but back then he didn’t feel anything. Not that he feels it now.

“Felix did the same” He stated simply and Chan nodded.

“Yeah, but you’re not Felix” His statement shouldn’t make any sense, even so, Minho agreed. He wasn’t Felix and He knew what Chan meant by it. Felix didn’t look at you like Minho did, his love for you was brotherly love and even though Minho wouldn’t say he loved you, he knew his eyes held much more than that.

“You’re not Felix either” Minho stated and Chan looked directly in his eyes, determined.

“I like her” His voice hung in the air, the moment felt tense even though both of them knew this information for a long time.

Minho cleared his throat.

“I know” It was all he had to say. What was Chan expecting? For him to proclaim his endless love for you? Minho didn’t love you. He didn’t even like you. He just wanted you. That was it. And you didn’t even want him back “I wish you luck” He lied.

“Why don’t you tell her?” Chan asked, ignoring his words and Minho frowned, pissed off.

“I don’t like her” He stated firmly “Are you a masochist or something? Do you want me to steal her away from you?” His voice held a cold anger. The feeling of someone who thought he didn’t stand a chance and didn’t want to be bothered by it, but was bothered anyway. The feeling of someone that didn’t want to acknowledge his own feelings. The feelings of someone who wanted to hurt the one who was taking you away.

He felt envy.

He felt jealous.

He felt… No. He didn’t.

Even if he did, he wouldn’t let you nor Chan know about it.

“Take it as granted” He said moodily “Don’t push something if you don’t want it to happen” He advised and let Chan alone in the kitchen before he left your apartment.

/////

Step 5: I won’t say it

No! No! Every single thing went wrong all way down. What the hell?!

Minho felt his cheek sting as the girl backed away, the tears running down her face. He gulped guiltily and promptly got up from bed, pushing his boxers up sloply as she slammed his door. He opened his door and rushed out.

“I’m so sorry!” He apologized eagerly and the girl shot him a glare.

“You’re the worst” She sobbed and Minho felt his heart shatter.

You stood there, frozen on the couch, as the girl slammed the door, and Minho stood there devasted. You didn’t even know he liked someone. You should have imagined it, though. It was about a week since you had your period and you didn’t even hear he said something about other girls. You didn’t see them coming anymore, except for Hyunjin. If you were honest, you almost didn’t see Minho past week. He seemed busy and moody, maybe he was occupied with college stuff, you didn’t know.

“Damn it” He muttered and he sounded tired. So tired you couldn’t miss the desperation on his voice. He was definitely not okay.

“Hey” You said softly and he snapped his eyes to you, startled. He seemed embarrassed about it and groaned, making way to his room. He probably didn’t want to talk about it, but you were his friend, right? And a girl too! Maybe you could help him? You made your way to his door and knocked, expecting an answer.

“Please, go away” He asked, he sounded so different from the usual Minho. Your usual playful, gentle, and teasing friend sounded hurt and you felt a stang on your heart. He must like her a lot.

“Please let me in, I can help you” You said and he scoffed. It wasn’t his usual mockingly scoff, but a humorless one, that sounded harsh and you pressed your lips together, afraid to have crossed a line. He opened his door with dark eyes, eyes that made you shiver for a second and grimaced at you sarcastically.

“Yeah? And how do you intend to help, kitty?” His voice was dripping venom and he looked like a snake, eyeing you, preying you, mocking you. You shouldn’t have felt aroused by it but you felt. He looked dangerous.

“I can hear you out” You suggested and he laughed.

“Sure… You can hear me…” He hummed and let you in, so you sat on his bed and looked at him expectantly “What do you wanna hear? That I was a jerk to this girl? That I shouldn’t have tried to forget y-“ He stopped in his tracks. Cleared his throat. Looked at you uncertain “By the way you’re sitting where I just got a blowjob” He grimaced at you, but you didn’t care. So what if his bed was a sinful nest? He needed your help right now.

“I don’t care” You shrugged and He smiled like you had told a great joke.

“Oh? You don’t care about my sex nest?” He mocked you “Last time I checked you couldn’t even think about sleeping on my bed because of it, even though you just went with Chan and slept in his bed peacefully like he doesn’t fuck there everyday” He sounded… Jealous? He seemed annoyed by your choices and you arched your brows, confused.

“Minho, just tell me what is making you like this” You asked “You’ve been angry the past week… You don’t seem like yourself anymore” You admitted and he sighed.

“I won’t say it” He muttered, more to himself than to you. Why couldn’t he open up about it? You frowned.

“Do you want me to start?” You asked and he looked confused “Hm… Do you wanna know why I’m afraid to have sex with Chan?” He snorted.

“I’m dying to know” He said sarcastically and you felt angry.

“Hey! I’m trying to make you open up here! Don’t be an ass” You uttered and He sighed, this time he sounded more tired than angry.

“You’re right. You’re trying to help and I’m being a jerk. Again” He agreed, sitting beside you “I don’t want to talk about it because it’s embarrassing”

“Liking someone isn’t embarrassing” You reassured him and his eyes snapped to yours.

“How did you know?”He asked surprised, ashamed.

“I never saw you so frustrated about a chick before” You laughed “Why did she run away?”

“Oh” He snorted “I don’t like her” He assured and you got confused.

“What? So why were you so… Disturbed about it?” What was going on? If he didn’t like her, why would he run to her like this? Why was he so riled up about it? It didn’t make any sense.

“I mean it, Y/N” He looked in your eyes “I don’t want to talk about it… It’s really embarrassing”

“I won’t judge you! I’m your friend” You promised and he whined.

“That’s exactly the problem” He closed his eyes and buried his face on his hands “I’m disgusting”

“No! You’re not” You uttered, caressing his back gently and he whined at your touch.

“You shouldn’t touch me” He advised and you frowned. What was he talking about? You touched him all the time “I can’t pretend it doesn’t bother me anymore” Ouch. Was that reason why you weren’t seeing him lately? Was he avoiding you? Did he despise you now? Maybe he felt disgusted because you responded to his teasing?

“I’m sorry” You said uncomfortable, getting up and he looked at you confused.

“For what?” He seemed lost and you felt tears pricking your eyes. Why couldn’t he just say he was disgusted by you? You were flirting with Chan but responded to his teasing… You even masturbated to him, for lord sake! You felt the shame crash you all over again “Oh my god, what happened?!” He asked startled, getting up and cupping your cheek, his thumb brushed the skin right under your eyes. You locked your eyes with his.

“For bothering you” You explained “You could have told me earlier, I would stop touching you… I didn’t know you were disgusted by it” He laughed. He laughed for real, resting his hand on your shoulder and took away the hand on your cheek to brush his own eye.

“You think I’m disgusted by you?” He asked amazed “You’re so dense! Oh my god… Y/N I never found someone as hot as you” He stated and you blushed, surprised by his words “You don’t have any idea about how hard it is to pretend that I don’t remember nor care about the couch! I was so frustrated you didn’t even… You didn’t give a fuck!” He snorted and you widened your eyes.

Oh boy… He had no idea.

“I moaned your name” He said bashfully and you choked.

“You what?!” You felt your lungs running out of air and your cheeks flaming. Was your heart intending to explode? Apparently yes. He leaned your way, guiding you until your back was against his door, you felt the cold surface on your back and you saw the lust on his eyes and shivered.

“She was blowing me” He whispered on your ear, his voice dripped with something you couldn’t quite put your finger on “And when I came I shouted your name instead of hers” His lips brushed your ears and you let out a moan. An embarrassing moan to a simple action like this and he groaned “If you don’t want me, please tell me now” He asked, resting his forehead against the door.

You didn’t say anything.

“Say yes or no, kitty” He ordered and you gulped down.

“Yes” You let out weakly and his nose brushed against your neck, his breath fanning over you. You felt your legs wobbly.

“Are you sure?” He asked again, this time his forehead rested against yours, his eyes closed as if he couldn’t handle your answer. You nodded silently, not trusting your words “Thank god” He sighed relieved as he locked his door and smashed his lips against yours.

His kiss was different from Chan’s.

While Chan was gentle and caring, Minho was desperate.

It felt like he would never be allowed to do this again in his life, so he needed you right now. His hands shot through your body, groping your flesh and pulling you closer, so close you could feel him. He was on fire, his touch burned you, his lips possessively over yours. He was claiming you. His tongue fought for dominance and he won it easily because you were way to dazed to try to fight back. His hand slide to your jaw and his grip was needy.

He needed you.

Your hands slid through his chest, feeling him, and it made him groan into the kiss, deepening it. You felt his shirtless torso way too slow, enticing him, and he answered by slamming his crotch onto you, you could feel him hard against you. You moaned and he smirked, smugly. You held both sides of his jaw, responding to him in a needy way you never thought you would show.

He broke away, panting.

Wow.

You kept holding his face and he kept his hand on yours, locking his eyes with you.

When he opened his mouth, you never ever thought he would say it.

“I think I like you” As soon as the words left his lips he widened his eyes and then shut them, afraid.

There it was.

He said it.

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Tagging @slut-for-fandoms

107 notes · View notes

7wanderingpaws · 4 years ago

Text

Simply, yours (12)

Pairing: Baekhyun x reader

Genre: family AU, hapkido teacher AU, PhD AU

Word count: 3.5K

Warnings: mentions of death, cursing

A/N: a moodboard! Yay! Finally some face to the story ^^ in my head baek looks like on the pics in this one hihi. Couple of more interesting things will happen! Aaaand this series will finish by 15th chapter. Or less. I will see how much time I will have. :( Anyway, thank you all sososososooo much for the support and comments, it means THE WORLD! ❤

tags: @milky-baek @itsbaekhyunsbutt @luvhtears @shesdreaminginoverdose @cynthbee @jummyjammy @junmyeonnoona @littleflowercrown13 @sebootyforlife (if you want to be tagged/untagged please let me know!)

MASTERLIST

1 . 2 . 3 . 4 . 5 . 6 . 7 . 8 . 9 . 10 . 11 . 12

Baekhyun was stressed. That much you could tell.

The competition between the universities was in couple of days and he-

“Chanyeol, I can't hang out! I still didn't hand in my paper on the sports psychology thing and I have to head to uni in a couple for the training!”

You were in the kitchen, trying to bake some muffins since you were craving like a mad man, and you could hear him pacing around the bedroom where he bunked the whole day to finish off the mentioned paper. He had been a bit distant since the past three-four days, and you gave him his space, knowing he wasn't taking any silly things from anyone right now. He was full on focused and, well, quite biting to whomever tried to help.

He sighed again. “Listen, I know we still have time to hand it in, but I am so busy with the university team that I need to finish it earlier. Fuck, the assistant master is also breathing on my neck. You need to understa-”

He went quiet when Chanyeol interrupted him, and you silently continued separating the dough to the empty holes on the baking pan.

It had now been two weeks since the Korean New Year and another check-up at the clinic, after which you started to attend pilates classes for the expecting women. You had classes two times per week in the evening hours and one of them clashed with Baekhyun's hapkido class at the university, so you weren't accompanying him that often anymore, which was also a small relief for you. As much as your presence there didn't change matters, you felt like a bothersome girlfriend that needed to keep an eye on him, which was not true. Let alone Jiyoung, although had not necessarily done anything, still made you uneasy with her straight-forward behaviour with Baekhyun. You trusted him, though. After the Korean New Year, you got rid of the whole jealousy nonsense and focused solely on yourself and your own peace of mind. After all, it was literally a matter of a few months and your life would become loud, tiring and just overall turnt upside down.

“And you know I've got other stuff to get taken care of.” Silence. “You know what I'm talking about.” You giggled to yourself, liking how Baekhyun was losing his cool with his best friend, not paying attention to the meaning of his words.

You placed the baking pan in the oven and set up the temperature and timer, finally standing up properly, and hissing at the pain in your lower back.

These days, whenever you looked in the mirror at your tummy and the dark stretch marks, you couldn't help but wonder how was this humanly possible; to bear three kids in your own body, in that little place under your heart. It blew your mind, and usually you would end up talking about this with Baekhyun just before sleeping when the lights were out and you were curled up at his side.

“Just proves how fucking amazing you are, my love,” he would murmur in your ear.

You smiled to yourself, your heart fluttering at the recollection and you sat down, checking your phone. A new customer who was buying your knitted clothings, was supposed to come by any minute now, so you might as well rest till she arrived, and let Baekhyun deal with his own issues.

You found a message from the lady waiting for you, so you opened it quickly, thinking she might have cancelled on you.

Hello! I was supposed to pick up the ordered knits today, but I can't make it unfortunately, so my husband will come at the promised time instead! Thank you!

Okay, at least she didn't cancel. You didn't care who would come for them as long as they were taken and paid for.

“Okay, Chanyeol, I will meet you tomorrow,” Baekhyun finally ended the call after more discussion and then you heard another heavy sigh. It caused pain for you too, knowing you couldn't help and you also didn't have a constant, stable pay so that you could ease it up for him just a little bit. Great at uselessne- no. You wouldn't allow yourself those thoughts anymore.

“Babe, you good?” you shouted.

“Yeah.”

“Doesn't sound very convincing,” you muttered to yourself, just when the doorbell rang. You struggled up to your feet and headed for the intercom, letting the person in.

“That's the customer, right?” asked Baekhyun from the bedroom.

You made your way to the door, the little bag with necessary clothes prepared, as you shouted back a yes before sliding the door open and waiting for the person to leave the elevator.

You were excited to earn money like this, even if it was just a little bit. You could shop groceries with it and Korea did have expensive fruit and veggies, unfortunately, so this came extremely handy to you.

Quickly shooting a look behind you, you double-checked if everything looked decent and clean in the apartment before turning back just to get the biggest shock.

Without even thinking, you had the urge to slam the door shut in his face before he could properly orient himself on the new floor of apartments, but you didn't do it. Instead, you ran your tongue over your teeth, preparing for a painful smile.

He turned and he spotted you - he just looked at your stomach - standing in the doorway, ready to walk to you resolutely before he actually brought his eyes up to yours. And he momentarily froze, stopping on the spot.

Silence overtook the cold corridor, and you felt the stress creeping up in your stomach, except you had nothing to fear this time. It was him who wanted something. And Baekhyun was right in the apartment in case anything happened.

“I believe you came to pick up the knits?” Your voice was almost foreign to you, it was strained so much.

His eyes fell lower, seeing just how pregnant you were; your body a far cry from when he last saw you. Clearing his throat, he replied: “Yes, I am.”

Slowly, he walked over and you pushed your hand with the bag out for him to take, wanting him to just leave. “Here. That will be 120.000 won, please.”

Your ex-boss stared at you, not taking the bag for a couple of heartbeats. He monitored your face before his eyes looked behind you at the humble apartment. Only after that, he took it while with his other hand he reached behind taking out his wallet probably from the pockets of his trousers. “Yes, I have the exact amount.”

“Good.”

He snapped his eyes back to you, as he took out the necessary cash before handing it to you. “How are you?”

Oh, dear lord. Not the small talk, please.

“I mean, are you doing well and healthy?”

You stared at him, hoping the negative emotions didn't mirror in your eyes too much, as you didnt want to become someone like him. “I'm fine and healthy, thank you for asking.”

“That's a relief.”

Suppressing a scoff, you were about to put an end to this fruitless conversation when you heard shuffling from behind, and Baekhyun's voice. “Is everything alright?” And he appeared.

He walked to your side, shock evident on his face. “You?”

You felt a protective hand around your waist, your boyfriend pushing you further inside the house, not liking an inch your evil boss being near your vicinity.

Your boss, Mr Kim, gave him a tight lipped smile. “Hello, Mr Byun. My wife is the one buying the knits from your wif- girlfriend.”

“Really?”

You nodded. “She wrote me just a couple of minutes ago that her husband would pick them up instead of her,” you explained to Baekhyun, who didn't even look at you, his strict gaze focused on your boss, “and it turns out to be Mr Kim. There are too many Kims in this country, for sure.”

“Well, we hope your wife will enjoy them,” said Baekhyun coldly. “Have a good evening.”

He was about to push both of you back inside to close the door, but your boss surprised you. Again. “I just wanted to… wish you all the best. I hope you will continue having a safe pregnancy and birth.”

You frowned, but nodded nonetheless. “Thank you.”

“And… I apologise.”

Baekhyun's grip on you tightened. “For what exactly?”

Mr Kim looked in your eyes as he seemed to think over his words. “I was acting unprofessional and it was not acceptable. Me sacking you due to your state was not justifiable, and I realize that I probably created even bigger financial difficulties for you. You always mentioned how money comes in handy and yet…” he shook his head, scrunching his eyebrows, “it was all a terrible mistake. I was insensitive. I apologise.”

You took in a shaky breath, your palms sweaty with anxiety as you let his words properly sink in. He actually uttered those words. Those apologetic words. The words you never imagined he would say, because you believed he was incapable of feeling anything close to regret and sorrow.

Sensing your hesitation, Baekhyun spoke up. “I think it's too late for that. But thank you. I bet my girlfriend appreciates your realizations.”

“Why suddenly?” You asked before Baekhyun could push you further inside the apartment. “I worked so hard for you. I always tried to please you yet I received hate.”

Something flashed in his eyes, something you couldn’t quite name. Was it hurt? Was it sorrow? Pain? “I don’t expect you to forgive me. I was ruthless, but just know that I am sorry.” He looked at Baekhyun now. “I deserved the punch.” With a sad smile, he raised and dangled the bag in front of him as he took a step back. “I’m sure my grandchildren will love this. And my wife too. All the best,” he said and turned around, not letting you and Baekhyun speak.

And you wouldn’t even be able to, because Baekhyun closed the door right after muttering: “Get home safely.”

“What was that?” You asked, shell-shocked at the sudden turn of events. “Did this really happen?”

You were still squeezing the bank notes in your sweaty palms and you moved to put them on the dining table, Baekhyun hot on your heels. “He is crazy. One moment he is shouting at you, calling you all kinds of things and the next he is sorry and acts like…whatever” he trailed off, in the heat of a moment unable to think of a proper word.

You shot him a look, amused. “I know. But at least he realized his mistake.”

Baekhyun pursed his lips, not fully convinced with your words but eventually he murmured: “At least if some other employee gets pregnant he won’t throw her out.”

You smiled, satisfied with his way of thinking. “Exactly.”

“And you earned yourself some money,” he reciprocated the smile and he came to you to give you a kiss on the cheek. “Well done.”

“I’ve been earning money through this for some time now,” you reminded him.

“I know but it’s his money.”

“Oh.”

“Exactly.”

Once the muffins were out of the oven, you decided to call Sukyeong. Baekhyun retrieved to your shared bedroom to continue his studying. He needed the peace anyway, and you really wanted to chat to your good friend because you had way too many thoughts and questions about your ex-boss’s well being. The way he acted was so unlike him.

Sukyeong thankfully picked up after the third ring and she squealed into the phone upon seeing your name. “Finally! I thought you would never call! We saw each other two weeks ago, don't tell me you got suddenly busy!”

You let out a breathy laugh. “No, I became lazy and almost immobile by now, thank you for the concerns.”

“I think I will have to drop by more often,” she thought out loud. “Besides, I also want to talk about something!”

“Eh? What is it?”

“Nah, this needs to be told face to face.”

Since your topic seemed to be just a little bit more intriguing than Sukyeong’s secretiveness, you decided to go with it and spill the beans. You quickly explained to her what just happened, feeling more encouraged by her gasps.

“Well, there is something that happened actually,” she said after a bit of silence. After you left your job, you and Sukyeong rarely ever talked about the workplace, Sukyeong only complaining about the workload and whatnot. She was such a kind-hearted, considerate friend to you; she knew by default the last person you want to talk about was your screwed up boss. “I just didn't know if I should tell you or not, since it doesn't really include you anymore and also…” she trailed off, “it might scare you.”

You frowned, fingering the little whole in the pillow you were hugging to yourself. “Scare me? What are you talking about?” you let out a doubtful laugh.

Sukyeon sighed and you imagined her playing with her fringe to ease up the nerves. “You know his son is married, right?”

“Mhm.” You rarely paid attention to your boss's private life but you were aware of that fact.

“So, anyway, Mr Kim's daughter-in-law was pregnant and she was supposed to give birth just one month after you left,” she continued on, her words still not bearing an ounce of confidence.

You interrupted her, though. “Oh, really? So why didn't he fire his daughter-in-law, huh?! How dare she be pregnant?! God, that man is ridiculous, I swear. Poor daughter-in-law! How difficult it must be for her to live with him!”

“Erm,” Sukyeong gently called out your name, trying to get your attention, which she did but you wished she didn't as her next words gave you the nausea you had been dreading to have your entire pregnancy. “She died giving birth.”

You went completely silent at that, your mind empty and busy all at the same time. His daughter-in-law died giving birth to his grandchild. She died. Giving birth. “How did that happen?” you breathed out.

“Complications during birth. Unexpected high blood pressure, high sugar levels and many other factors,” she replied, her voice sad.

“Jesus,” you breathed out again, “I had no clue.”

“You couldn't have known, dear.”

Tears burned in your eyes at the thought of how tragic the whole story is. So this was why he was apologetic. “But still… I'm so sorry. To her, and even to him - Mr Kim.”

Sukyeong heaved out a heavy sigh. “Don't cry, I cannot comfort you over the phone like this. You wouldn't know!”

“What if I will die?”

“You won't,” she snapped right away. “You are a healthy woman.”

“You know my blood-pressure is also dangerously high at times.”

“But that doesn't change the fact that you are healthy. You don't have problems with your sugar levels, nor is your entire pregnancy problematic.” She paused, before she continued. “Listen, this is why I was reluctant to tell you. I didn't want to trigger any fear in you. Just don't think about it.”

You felt your chin quiver, but you pushed it down. Sukyeong was right. Plus, Baekhyun really didn't need this kind of stress when he already had too much on his plate right now. Having to suck it up and be brave for your own self for once was something you should have started doing a while ago. You always knew pregnancy was a risk. But you wanted to show everyone that not having enough money and still bearing three healthy babies and eventually giving them birth was something more valuable than any monetary aspect of this world.

“You are right, Sukyeonga. I won't. But you owe me a hot chocolate.”

It was around 1am. You were lying on your side, naked back facing Baekhyun as he absentmindedly traced his fingertips over the imprints on your back, left there by your bra. He was shuffling around more, until he resolved to skinship in hopes to ease his mind.

“What's on your mind?” you asked quietly out of nowhere, startling him for a second. He thought you would be asleep by now.

You turned around to your other side, curling up against his chest and he gladly opened his arms for you, missing your presence. It was common that you two would naturally shift apart during the night, both of you deep in sleep, but because of your pregnancy you also felt many times boiling hot which resulted in you scooting as far away from his body heat as the mattress allowed. This time though, the night was exceptionally cold and you knew he needed you.

“Baby, you should be resting,” he rasped quietly.

You held his cheek gently, looking up at him, although he couldn't see you properly in the darkness. “There is something bothering my man,” you whispered, “and I can't sleep when I know you are this troubled.”

He sighed, and you could feel the heaviness of it, the worries somehow too difficult to bear. “It's just a lot on my plate,” he admitted, though very reluctantly. “I want our team to win or at least make it very far but I'm worried I am asking for too much.” His hand was caressing your back, enjoying the hot skin covering it.

“What makes you think that?”

He went silent, contemplating your question and his answer to it. The truth was, Baekhyun's head was very chaotic which rarely happened. Him, who always had a goal clearly set in his mind, never got this worried. “I don't even know. It's the PhD stuff together with this Universiad competition… both require my full attention and even though I am doing my best, I feel like I could still do better.”

It meant a lot that he was this outspoken. He shared his daily issues with you, however only the heavy ones he would let pile up and mull over them until he couldn't bear it anymore.

“My perfectionist boy,” you cooed. “Everything is created in your mind, darling. Everything is still the same as before - you are a student and as your side job you teach kids. Your team was always doing well and that's why you got this opportunity. In fact, you don't need to change anything. You have addition of Jiyoung and her team, that's true, but that still doesn't change the fact that what you did until now is enough. It is all valuable. You're not asking for too much, Baekhyun.”

A couple of heartbeats later you heard him sigh again as he squeezed your body to his, your tummy pressing to his side. “Thank you,” he murmured into your hair.

“Don't keep it in. I know it's difficult. I know, honey.”

“I just want to do well, you know? Do well in my professional life. And I want to do everything in my power to make you and our kids live comfortably.”

You felt stinging behind your eyes, touched and overwhelmed with emotions. “You are doing more than enough, Baekhyun. I'm comfortable and happy because I have you. Out of our entire village, you are the superstar. You are the one who made it. Don't doubt yourself for one second, because I will love you no matter what. You are doing already more than enough, so relax.”

He chuckled lowly. “What would I do without you, hm?” he whispered and he moved to bury his face in your neck, slowly kissing down to your chest where he rested his head under your collarbones. His arm around you was now caressing the bump, his thumb running over the stretched out belly. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

“Don't thank me.That's what I'm here for. For you. In good and in bad,” you replied as you played with his messy hair.

“Already doing the wedding vows?”

You grew hot, the sudden images of a wedding ceremony with Baekhyun warming your heart. “Not yet.”

He hummed. “But soon.”

“After the kids are born.”

“Where do you want to leave them for our honeymoon? They would be always tied to your boobs. That way I can't have them just for myself.”

That made you laugh out loud, and you pulled on his hair gently, making him chuckle. He raised his head and you felt his breath on your smiling lips. “Then you better enjoy them until you can.”

He kissed you slowly, languidly, humming in the process while dragging his hand over your bump and chest until he was cupping your cheek. “I should, huh,” he murmured into your open mouth. “Though I beg for priority. I was the first to claim them.”

You laughed again and Baekhyun felt extremely satisfied, his worries settled for now. He brought you in for another sensual kiss until both of your eyes were droopy enough to pull to sleep.

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