#also I feel like there's more of her but I dont remember lol
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that poll i posted about coe vs miracle day is really interesting i knew coe would be more popular but damn the votes for miracle day are so low! ...which to be fair. as a miracle day enjoyer. understandable.
miracle day spoilers under the cut!
these are just my thoughts about some stuff md does that i personally didn't like!! take it all with a pinch of salt + i dont usually write stuff like this so i will love a discussion but pls be nice...lol
i think its weakest point is its conclusion, because, if they reiterated like 30,000 times that jack is NOT immortal bc of his blood, has nothing to do with it, why on earth is that the entire basis of the miracle? like yes, it eats the blood, so it thinks its the blueprint for humanity, but surely jack's blood is just normal? i think they kinda get away with it bc of how weird everything is, but MAN i wanted that miracle to be aliens so damn bad! i suppose in the case of This One Time, earth is the alien planet.
and please do not even get me started about rex becoming immortal. if there had been a 5th season, i would have let it slide, but the fact that is the conclusion for the television show is just absolutely insane to me??? LIKE WHAT! insanity. but this is an insane show. i also kind of think they shouldn't have killed esther, but i also think they should have not killed any torchwood member anyway because i get attached to them all, so the fact that she was inexperienced it made loads of sense that she died, but like, damn...right before they saved the day? misery.
i guess this is because it's implied the story of miracle day was to continue, but i felt like there was so many things going on in comparison to coe. there were a few episodes that really could have spent more time on one thing than the other. is this also because i think we could have gotten more about angelo? maybe...
to be honest, i genuinely think the best part of miracle day is jilly kitzinger. like yeah, that is the EXACT response a big company would have to this situation, and to really make you remember this is a BAD THING this charming character is doing, you have to watch her big up a horrible person! (and the second best thing is gwen and jack, but thats like, duh)
i really wanted to add all this stuff in the tags of that post but i was actually going to write an ESSAY in tag form so decided to spare you all. i'd love to hear you guys' thoughts cos reading the tags on that post has been really cool! as most of you said, i agree with how heart wrenching coe is. its so good at showing how each character would act and genuinely ianto's death, as traumatising as it was, just shows you how he would follow jack to the ends of the earth by the end of his time in torchwood...which is such a stark contrast to the beginning of his time there and how he literally states how much he hates him in broken.
anway!!! if you read all that yap well done i love you. im feeling insane about torchwood currently. send me asks or whatever if you wanna gimme ur opinions!
#torchwood#torchwood miracle day#art talkz#art talks too much...#or not enough maybe? i wish i had some coherent thoughts to produce about coe but its been a while since i watched it#also#i think the actual jokes in miracle day are really funny. i know people think its really american#but it is amusing to me!!#torchwood critical#< just adding that tag in case !!
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I love Lilith Clawthorne. She’s aroace. She used to have beef with several children. Her best friend is an owl tube thingy. She has trauma from her previous mommy issues. She punched a colonizer in the face. She’s definitely autistic. She gushes over ladder railings. She tried to interview her nephew after finding out he’s a Titan. What an icon.
#my favorite hag!!#lilith clawthorne#the owl house#also I feel like there's more of her but I dont remember lol
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whats your fav aspect(s) of jadekat?
anon im sorry but i had like 40+ notes prepaired for my thoughts on jadekat but i lost all of them proof-reading it and this is all i got
they are the ultimate yuri to me
#jadekat#rgtxt#there was also tags that were like#karkat did not get the outcome he wanted with jade#he punished himself (slapping himself isnt that bad but i digress)#for well finding pity in such a “stupid” human#and it was obvious to him she hated him#(before the apology)#he wanted to troll her but got red feelings for her and did not like it#like i feel like if youre nice to jade she would be nice to you but with how karkat was being an ass he just got into more shit lol#like another thing is that they bicker a lot#like in the old couple way but also like...#a highschool couple shipped together by their school but they do not like eachother that much#like that probably isnt a real trope but its a trope in my head#but its like 3am sorry anon my thoughts are jumbled and i dont remember much right now soz#but in the sense of bickering it was more like opposite trolling#mainly with the passwords#but karkat was just trolling himself with that hugeass paragraph with just... i dont want to think about it hes just fucking weird#i am referring to page 3972#i think the whole “you turned it into this overdramatic thing” is a good way to dumb down their relationship#most of her actions are just poking fun but then he will make a whole entire soap opera#she would do a puppet show he would do shakespear#and thats funny as shit
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anyway to celebrate my rewatch of lost being complete, have a zoomed in picture of a selfie i took with mr emerson <3
#you can still barely see my hair on the right side of the picture lol#his hand was on my shoulder im. just staring at it#it freaks me out too much what the fuck#feels like it happened to someone else not me#i remember it but also i zoned out staring at him#wasn’t emotionally present#not showing it but i did wear a dharma shirt when i met him#my dad always said ‘you’re very brave to have his hand on your back. he easily could have stabbed you’ you say that as if its a bad thing#wish i had watched lost more recently during that time so i could have asked him more interesting questions#he was so lovely though. talked about his wife a lot even promoted the show she had going on at the time#guy clearly loves her it was adorable#i know i know parasocial relationships etc im aware i dont know anything about his personal life and im more than ok with that#ok im done im just insane rn#michael emerson#my posts#lostposting#benposting
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seems like my heart does nothing but break lately
#oh my god dont read the tags. it breaks for everyone :( but on a more personal level#for my gf whos sinking deeper into something n i cant even help bc im a wreck myself but i am so so scared to lose her#still havent even been able to book a psych appointment n i rlly dont know where to go with all these ..em*tions#Guys i rlly dont understand one thing. how come one random freak whos in ur life at some point can derail a whole person like eons later#jeopardise their whole future just by crossing some lines for funz i really dont understand this#not fair not fair at all this is evil#and becasue u got unlucky someone wanted to be disgusting u have to carry the consequences#i rly still cant even say it i still cant even write it#i dont even know how . irl the only perosn i told in some capacity#is dealing with her own trauma and i hate that jsut being understanding is not enoughlike#Wow Lmao Its just Funny How it Shapes You. & U Can Never bury it forever becuz it will always catch up to you😂😂😂😂😂😂#AND THE PAST CAN NEVER BE ERASED 😃😃😁😁😂😂😂🔫🔫🔫🔫🔫🔪🔪#at least my gf has been taking steps to deal with it for.3 yrs and i just never even#LOL i feel like such a coward but the sh*me and the g**lt associated with the Thing..r so overwhelming i cant even admit it#what would i even do at the psych appointment like straight up what am i gonna say Lol#hai iam here to process something i dont actually remember probably becasue i was a child but imnot sure. n id rather#kms than tell u how i know 😂. So thats also why my heart breaks. for that little girl who was a ball of shame i guess and no matter#how much i cognitively.like rationally know its not my fault the ball of shame n guilt is still there#n it swallows me every time i vaguely start 2 think about acknowledging the Th*ng#or whatever. And thats just my end of the deal but my gf has it worse genuinely bc she remembers everything n still has to see the freak#n it went on for yrs n her family doesnt know n heres the worst thing hes a beloved family member a sweet boy with struggles of his own#well i hope he walks into traffic for doing what he did to her
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i just fucking hate having ptsd all of it. so many stupid fucking things send me into fucking hysterics it sucks and i hate it and i dont want itttt anymore i dont want it.
#i literally like. i didnt tell u guys bc it was embarassing#but i had to hype myself up to eat a fucking orange the other day. like i was shaking and crying and i nearly threw up.#bc it fucking reminded me of All that and also bc its one of the only foods i got to eat outside ofm my one meal a day#while i was living there. bc my coworker gave me oranges sometimes#and one time she gave me a whole bag of cuties which was wonderful of her i miss her#but i pretty much like. bc during m-f i had a meal at work#and i could get something from the vending machine if i needed to#but on the weekends i had to either order food (which would always make me insanely nauseous bc of. the money stuff. yk) or just eat#what i had in my room bc i couldnt use the kitchen bc the roommates would be mad at me#and they might kick me out and id be actually fucked. its so crazy looking back that i genuinely the entire time i fucking lived there even#b4 the breakup the entire time i was in terror that theyd evict me. bc i wouldnt have been able to do anything abt it#i mean thats why i didnt like. leave him after he . and stuff. both bc i thought i didnt deserve anything better and bc i was terrified#theyd evict me and i wouldnt have any way to get home. it was terrifying#but ya. so for a couple weeks i rationed myself One orange per day lol. and on weekends that was all i was able to eat rly#idk. i hate ptsd. basicalllyyyy is the gist of ittt. and i keep thinking abt random fucking things they did to me#me when they jokingly tell me to starve myself when i literally have a fucking eating disorder. and when i told The Only Person i knew in#that fucking house abt it he told me i was being dramatic and i was just being greedy and etc. and then later when i got off work today i#saw on their fucking whiteboard in the kitchen i wasnt supposed to use Eat more <3 as one of their goals. while i went to sit in the garage#for the weekend eating a single fucking orange a day. god#idk. ive gotten better with eating i still have the scale but i ws able to go months without using it until the medical call the other week#and i havent used it since but. everytime i think abt all that itmakes me want to go back to it. i cant tho everyone would notice#i do still eat a wholee lot less than i did b4 washington but idk. idont remember if i even ate today i probably should but i dont feel#hungry but i cant even fucking trust that bc i Starved myself for so fucking long im too good at ignoring hunger. and i never was super in#touch with my body but im constantly numb now. idk.#ed ment#a2t#i ws gonna say more but it ws tmi + tag limit anyway. its just insane that my fucking ed wouldnt have happened if it werent for him and it#graduated i wouldnt have been isolatedinever wouldve had an ed. like 50% of my ptsd would be Gone if i just hadnt joined that discord. lol
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Do you think Sun/Moon and Vanessa/Vanny get/got along decently well do to going through such similar experiences
The whole jekyll and hyde thing
Im pretty sure this is actually canon since Vanny did seem to favor Moon, I can't remember everything now but there was some things tying to two together such as Vanny having a Moon blanket and other stuff I can't find at the moment. Also the secret ending does seem to directly tie the two together (I mean we know Moon is just kinda like that (confirmed in the books) but I think the glitch just made him physically violent than just threatening?)
Idk about Vanessa and Sun however, she didn't seem to find any of the other animatronics amusing so a hyperactive Sun might've been too much for her? Unlike Moon and Vanny there isnt much with them.
Plus Moon may just be her favorite in general hence why Vanny seems to favor them as well, tho ofc her liking the violent robot seems to be on par for her. And well we do know Sun and Moon is literally an allegory for Vanessa and Vanny idk if them having similar experiences has anything to do with them liking each other because while Sun is fully aware of Moon Vanessa in SB didn't seem fully aware of Vanny, enough to know somethings up but not enough to really do anything,? (If she knew she wouldn't have gone after Gregory and locked him in a one way room plus an added layer of plus subconscious brain washing may have played into that)
I'm not the best at formulating my thoughts nor did I ever expect to get an ask like this but I hope this gets my point across well enough haha.
I'll probably have more thoughts later and talk more since HW2 just came out and I'm still waiting to see if theres more than what we currently have (I think we found everything but theres probably easter eggs/secrets by getting out of bounds. I"m very interested in the Whack-A-Bon arcade section since we know about GGY from the books so maybe there's a reference there?)
#fnaf#fnaf sb#fnaf hw2#fnaf security breach#fnaf help wanted 2#spoilers#fnaf spoilers#not really but sorta? mostly for sb that ties into hw2#sorry not sorry for rambling#if I dont talk a lot I feel I cant get more point across because thats how I grew up lol#would've answered this earlier but I was making and eating breakfast#also its been a hot minute since Security Breach so I'm probably forgetting something but if I remember later I'll tag it on in a reblog#Also yeah Vanny owning Moon merch might just be to connect the two but I believe in fun and whimsy so there friends to me#or at least Moon is Vanny's favorite even if Moon doesnt know about her because of the hiding herself from the animatronics tech thing lol#gets one ask about his favorite characters and answers like a total normal person 👍
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Hellooo mun!!! If you met your muse (or muses, if you wanna do both or just the birb) how do you think that interaction would go like?
((omg hello!! gosh ahsjdk tbh i never really thought about it because i don't even like the idea of any of the actual canon characters interacting with me personally [see: @dolasach's reason for existence + this blog honestly just being made so that i could have a reason to interact with the rp blogs without having to bring out my oc] but this did get me thinking >v<
for the crow:
crows are honestly extremely rare where i live, at most i see them as small black figures in the sky when they're flying off. so if i got the meet the crow irl i think i'd be genuinely thrilled?
as in. i would go through the motions of trying to befriend the thing and also play the part of a fool that tries to feed a mechanical bird ;-; i'd hope that it'd be like what's going on with yvonne, but i'm not talkative enough with animals to get any sort of emotional investment out of anyone at onychinus hq for what drama might be going on in my life. so like. i'd just be a running joke to the engineers for being a reason why the bird keeps coming back with a chassis full of food lol
for dolasach:
okay so like. i so CLEARLY imagine myself to meet her because of some art event where she's a guest, like a lecture or workshop or gallery exhibit opening. she'd have such a particular vibe to her, i feel? that would make it shockingly easy for me to actually reach out and ask questions about her craft (if it were a gallery opening) or ask some really thorough questions + start a bit of banter (if its a workshop) even if her gaze would be so intense i might die on the spot <-aroace but not immune to cool hot people.
i think it would go fairly well, i don't think i've ever left bad impressions on more important people i've interacted with and half the time end up befriending them + i want to believe i'd get a genuine laugh from her 😭 that's all i want oml))
#((the intern speaks))#((this made me think of this one professor i had in uni who in hindsight had PEAK dola vibes. insanely put together and polished as a perso#and with that kind of strict intimidating vibe at first? but is actually surprisingly warm and silly lol and now i also think i'd fight#tooth and nail to be in her class. tho at the same time she'd teach something so niche that there would be JUST enough students for the#class to not be dissolved sdhfjksdf))#((and with the crow i think id be considerably more nervous bc i'm another dumbass that thinks its a real bird so i dont wanna fuck up#and have an entire murder remember me as evil forever and gang up on me as punishment for hurting the feelings of one of their brethren))#((bonus: if i ever meet sylus... he has to be the one to speak to me first or else nothing is going to happen sdfhjksfjhsdf#and if he does... either i think he's a creep and try to get away OR we somehow become besties after i introduce him to the joys of#halo-halo and kwek-kwek LMAO he'd have to be on vacation in the philippines somewhere and for some reason#i get random people asking me questions??? and sometimes asking for my twitter to add me shfjksddfjhs))#((anyway omg thank u for the ask >.< took a while + now im medicated so im yapping away like crazy but this was fun thinking!!))
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Don’t know if you’ve heard about this new dbs arc and I just wanted to know your thoughts on it? Also, what do you think about the Trunks x Mai pairing?
I saw, yeah. I'm personally p ambivalent about it- I hope its good but I'll just keep my expectations low :T
And yeah I really hope they drop the whole Mai thing now. 1. It's weird but 2. Supers version of Mai is boring, so we get all the creep factor but none of the weird fun personality- so like what's even the point? Guess I'm glad F trunks gets to be (sorta) happy tho
But 'apocalyptic hellscape lady w a shotgun' should not be this hard to sell to me (눈_눈)
#no offense if you like mai#i get it. i wish i could#ask#ugh ok but as an extra bit#maybe im misremembering but mai in DB was like evil but also ridiculously.. shy(??)#thats not the word but like the whole pilaf gang thought blowing a kiss at bulma was like the ultimate embarrassing thing they could do#to the point of it bein like their idea if torture#when did mai suddenly have this overt interest in dudes to the point of talking like some pervy older lady#like what bulma says she sounds like#i mean i guess im glad they atleast had her interest stay almost exclusively on the adult version of trunks#but yknow then they hadta make it weird again by havin her actively decide she can just wait on this kid to grow up#uugghhh#like. they make her creepier than i remember her ever being#and it feels like tgey do this w no self awareness#like theres no joke and its not presented like an absurd thing its more presented like maybe theres hope for trunks and his misguided crush#annnnddddd i hate it#that creepy#they managed to make a former villian worse by tryin to shoehorn her into a spot onbthe heros side#lol i care so little about the new super stuff that most of this ask is me whining about a cartoon ship i dont care for
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xenoblade 1 is interesting because when I first played it I had really mixed feelings. mostly I think because it had been slightly overhyped for me. there were so many videos with masterpiece in the description and people saying it was their favorite.
there was a lot that first turned me off during the story (namely the way it handled its female characters made me frustrated at multiple points) and also how they handled the revenge arc because I have very very specific taste in revenge arcs and I just dont think it landed for me.
I think I appreciate it a lot more now that im fully deep into the series. I do like a lot about it, from its gameplay to its environment to a lot of the little cast interactions, to just shulk existing. yeah. yeah its alright
#I remember when fiora died and dunban reyn and shulk were all talking about it I couldn't help but just be acutely aware they'd killed off#the only girl in the cast for their revenge quest and it put a sour taste in my mouth. at least we got sharla soon after who they ALSO did#dirty :(((( and they do bring fiora back but man. girl you've been through so much and have a GOD in your body but all you can think about#is how your bf will feel are you serious. its like they saw the backlash to shion and went ok women no more being realistically upset for#you gotta wait like another game or two :/// you get to never confront or be mad about the guy who stabbed you or the guy who wanted you#brainwashed and also forcibly altered your body irreversibly no your boyfriend gets tobe mad about it. be nice and optimistic darnit#and every lady in the party has their story tied to a romantic relationship in some waytoo. l'man. at least melia got her moment in fc#and its like. its odd bc I dont really DISLIKE any of the major 1 characters its on a scale from liking them to being upset on their behalf#like you have so many charming moments and interactions and I WANT to like you. but they just did you so dirty :((((#idk ive wanted to get that out there for a while. I have very messy feelings on 1 which is kinda ironic bc a lot of people considered it the#less controversial one for a long time lol. and it is. but still.#siren says#xenoblade#xenoblade chronicles#im constantly on my hater arc btw but I only let it out occasionally bc I am constantly worried of backlash online. I keep my bitching to#friends mostly lmao and oh do they know all about it
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Made a bad decision and got p4 golden and then got really depressed so I probably shouldn’t keep playing it and now I just gotta have it sit in the corner taunting me 😵💫
#i bought it with a gift card so fortunately i didnt spend and of my own money#but still. couldve bought something better with that card 😩#i havent even gotten to the offensive stuff yet like i literally started today and got to yosukes awakening#but hnnnghh even engaging with the parts that should be fun and harmless is draining and i hate it#cuz i wanna like it so bad! like the music is cute and even yosuke hes a cute lad!#but just knowing how awful it gets and re remembering how bad it made me feel just…ugh#also im just gonna say i only played vanilla this is my first time playing golden and i forgot they changed chies voice actor#god the new one is so annoying like its so hard to like her with this voice lol#i also forgot marie was a character they added ew gross#and i forgot teddie existed aaaaaaaa#at least the line ‘yosuke pounded an enemy!’ exists#but yeah god i dont think i can actually play this game and i only got it cuz i wanted to remember it again and take notes#but its just too damn exhausting i hate this game too much lol#knowing me though….im probably gonna give in and play it some more 😵💫
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new pokemon episode!!!
#vi rambling#pokemon#this ep was great honestly... i kinda lowered expectations because i kinda... disliked last ep lol . a lot didnt make sense#but i really liked basagiri's characterisation and seeing more of lucius.. that flashback was really sweet and a lot can be inferred from i#and there were great moments direction wise. basagiri locking them in with the rock tomb and liko terastalizing were really great#i will say im a little disappointed it didnt last for one more episode? it felt a bit short lived in comparison to the others?#because the pacing was mostly spent on looking For basagiri. and when we finally find him ig all just feels pretty short.#honestly i think my biggest problem is perrin because as much as i wanted to like her her presence felt pretty unnecessary imo.#until now the series has done a shockingly very good job at implementing the game characters in a way that doesn't feel forced#but in this case it.... kind of is. i didnt feel like she did much other than providing the initial picture and her dynamic with the others#didnt stand out enough for me to feel like the characters gained anything from her presence. there was the cute moment with dot last ep#(which was honestly the highlight of the episode imo) but its very short and doesnt change much or provide much insight on perrin herself.#mostly sad the rest of the rising volteccers are being kinda shelved for this... which is transparently the intervention of gamefreak#wanting to promote the games. ehhhh whatever whatever. i cant decide if what would solve this would be perrin staying longer#or just writing her out. no clue.#anyways DIANA IS BACK LETS GOOOO. i will say seeing liko's growth is really satisfying and so is rhe rest of the kids#and this ep did a much better job at that than last episode because seriously im so... what was with that.#ITS FINE im not gonna be negative about last episode i enjoyed this one and thats what counts. i need episode 75 very badly#FOR THE THIRD TRAVELER REVEAL... i dont remember her name but . this sounds fascinating i NEED more of gibeon and lucius#from just the little information that is scattered and inferred... they fascinate me.#also i realize why lucius fascinates me so much.#something to do with... a kindhearted gentle looking hero of old.... with blue hair... who roams the land helping the people (or pokemon)#who sort of haunts the narrative as rhe character who's legendary legacy the main character is following after his journey has ended...#HMMMM.... HIMMEL CODED MUCH..........
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#so im at my familys house#and im just sort of like okay i actually miss them so much#and like#idk !#for a long time is was kinda rough and i was seen as a failure and like i wasnt able to communicate at all#but like now im here and my aunt is like#we are so happy you are here and we need to do this more often#and i fully want to do it more often#for so long it felt like my family has completed abandoned me#some of them actually did lol but idk im older now and actually able to talk to them#it feels different#it feels like i want to be here#i will say some stuff is definitely coming up. Like earlier i started to feel some trauma feelings#the worst one i feel tbh#but like i just took a second and sat down and breathed#and it seemed like it passed ??#i definitely still feel weird and like i am on drugs even though i am stone cold sober right now#but i just am happy that i can be here with them right now#i wish my sister was here also#i miss her very much#but she heard who was coming this weekend and was like absolutely not lmao#i also talked to my family also about how i dont love my living situation right now#and they are all like please move near us#i dont know if thats an actual thing that i would for sure want right now#because one ive found a therapist finally that i ahsolutely adore and shes keeping me going lol#also even though im struggling to live where i live now#because of the 1 million events that have happened there and that have left me totally alone#i remembering loving where i live now#i remember thinking it was the only place on earth that i wanted to live#but without my best friends these days it just feels pretty isolating and lonely
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just saw jaiden's video on having adhd/audhd and uhhhh. i rlly should seek to get diagnosed huh. meds sound like they could rlly help me.....
#i remember one time while i was visiting my friend#we were having a sleepover & were talking and suddenly my mind just. went silent.#i remember telling her 'my mind just suddenly stopped this is so weird whats going on'#and she asked me what i meant & i told her abt how i like#constantly have at least 3 stream of thoughts going on at once that i'm half-listening to#and there's a main one i'm focusing on but my attention is always like on 70% on it#so i can very easily get carried onto my “sub-thoughts”'s streams#and she wondered if i was just so used to my anxiety (my only diagnosis so far that i had even back then)#that when i suddenly experienced being without it for a short while i found it strange#and i was like “maybe... makes sense” but i wasnt too convinced idk why#then years later i found out more in-depth abt adhd & the “inattentive type” it began to make sense#but its still kinda scary to think i may have it#and kinda scary to think i may not have it#jaiden articulated it well#that feeling that you'll be told “no you're normal just lazy so get your act together”#but also if you actually get a diagnosis it may change a lot of things#esp for us that arent self-employed or unable to pursue self-employment full-time bc its unprofitable rn#and we have no fallback that doesn't rely on other ppl's continued generosity#and to this day i wonder what caused my mind to “fall silent” that day btw#my memory sucks so i cant remember if this was like#the first day i drank alcohol#or the first day i tried an energy drink#or if i didnt actually try neither of those that day & smth else impacted it#my bet is on alcohol bc that day i got tipsy & got rlly sleepy & i remember feeling very sleepy when i had that talk#but also idk if that would even actually a consistent effect bc i dont actually dig alcohol that much so i dont seek it out LOL#only take sips from others' drinks when offered & thats not enough to get me tipsy#also if it was it kicked in pretty late & only for a short while bc i remember a few minutes later going “ok my minds normal now whew”#before we even actually went to sleep#so idk lol
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I should rly get around to designing the Jackies and Olivias from my swap aus now that I have ideas for how to differentiate them for their non swapped counterparts, but at the same time the eternal dread of having to commit to either keeping or changing the gravitas uniform for the swap aus hangs over me with ever increasing pressure, so maybe I can just only draw headshots of them and commit to that til the end of time instead
#rat rambles#oni posting#but actually I probably will keep the uniforms because I like them and theyre fun to draw#plus I dont think making olivia director inherently means that the uniform would change so I can get away with it#olivia and jackie would have probably come up with that together anyways simular to the rest of gravitas branding#theyve probably had all of that decided on since their college days lol#but yeah Ive been thinking abt the swap aus more since it's fun to put olivia into a more antagonistic role#even if the levels of antagonistic varry heavily and in most of the universes jackie is also an antagonist even as the primary pov#a lot of these in universe would be mostly jackie pov rambling about some bullshit that doesnt matter while the real meat in the other logs#all imply some gnarly shit abt olivia and how shes faring as director#shes typically not as bad as her non swapped jackies but she rly pushes it in the swapped rat universe#and by that I kind of just mean she is simply just worse but she at least almost handled the divorce better than canon jackie#I say almost because she did proceed to kidnap the woman after she admittedly broke into gravitas facilities after being fired but still#generally speaking kidnapping and semi murdering your ex for science is t a cool move no matter how justified you feel#the other two olivias are a lot less openly corrupt with rabbit au olivia being mostly just more mean and raccoon au olivia just having a#smidge of a god complex that she generally never acted on to be shitty#also one of those olivias was in a toxic codependent relationship with her unstable wife and the other was also in an toxic codependent#relationship with her wife but her wife proceeded to murder her about it#the jackies are all pretty shitty tho even if in mostly different ways#we have petty incel jackie we have emotionally manipulative jackie and we have the reason raccoon au olivia has a mild god complex jackie#and then we're forced to sit and watch as each jackie reads through their shitty actions as memoryless pods acting like theyd never do that#only to remember and sit in horror at the fact that at the end of the day their actions had little concequence to the greater universe and#that the only thing they achieved in life was hurting the woman they loved most and dying in a way that ultimately meant nothing#which is another reason Ive been thinking abt these aus sm as I love narratively kicking the shit out of jackie its fun#its a sign of my deepest love <3#Im so much nicer to main au jackie which is saying smth since one of them gets literally murdered#albeit swap rat au jackie also gets sorta murdered so raccoon au jackie rly isn't special in that regard#at least she wasnt held hostage before hand it was a spur of the moment event#anyways I need to shower before it gets too late Im trying to maintain a msidgen of a sleep schedule
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#i think maybe part of what is frustration about season 11 is that it has a lot of cool ideas and set ups and concepts#that are poorly thought out#and then it also has like really well told visually amazing stories#that are just like a little flat#like lol and there arent a lot of episodes where the story is both well constructed and well told#like i dunno i think you could say this about a lot of other episodes of course but#like in other seasons#but in other seasons more often than not they had strong characters and were emotionally impactful if not gut-wrenching at times#and theres not a lot of that going on#with the exception of like grace and prem i would say#maybe also kira from kerblam? although i would have liked to see charlie face some of the emotional repercussions of his actions but ehhh#it feels slimy for them to have them arrest someone for protesting unfair working conditions#not like killing him was a GREAT choice anyway but yeah#i dont remember what i was even trying to say i am just having thoughts <3 i like 13 a lot and i wish she had more stories that really#served her and like what she can do in a situation lol
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