#almost out of that though. sick
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my fav personal experience with learning japanese atp is sometimes ill write in romanji to try and cheat and ease the load on my head for tests and stuff just so i can like. memorize the sound and worry about the rest later. but halfway through itll just be kana again. like itll be too hard to think about the difference and itll just be kana. god bless.
#chatter#i dont WANT to be using romanji but the class definitely goes way faster than i learn#so i end up playing catch up on my own and using it when im really out of my depth#almost out of that though. sick#my katakana is....not ideal ill be honest but even with hiragana idk very well i can go. 'well it isnt all this other shit ik. so' and im#correct 95% of the time. fucking gay rights babyyy#anywyas my oral final is today pray for me please
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#almost done with third semester and i get it now. i get it now#p5#persona 5#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#goro akechi#shuake#akeshu#persona#this one is too cringe for instagram so it’s a tumblr exclusive. for now#my art#i already hate how this comic turned out but if i don’t post it now i never will#i did miss drawing comics though i should do that more often#edit: i noticed a typo a full day after posting. sick and twisted. it’s fixed now
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[ID in alt text]
hi sorry still obsessed with this gif i got. it's so funny to me. my baby's little feets sticking out. the pearl in their hands. the slime mold 'walking.' the neuron glow receding. earlier i laughed so hard it hurt and it's still just as funny now watching this help
#rain world#ID in alt text#mentioned it in the ID but this is deserted wastelands! in the hydration system subregion#i had to get a screenshot of a room for a showcase but candy being glowy was. unhelpful. since i can't turn her neuron glow off#but also the screen i wanted to get had no walls to shove myself into (which is normally what i do to get the slugcat out of view)#the solution was to use DMS to remove all my sprites so i would be effectively invisible#except i still need to Get to that room. for that i need to see where i am#hence: slime mold#but then i started walking and laughed myself sick#gif warning#also i think it's pretty wild that almost everything you see in this gif was modded in#even candy is technically modded because i have pups+ on (though she ended up being a normal pup anyways)#candy's ID is 7661 if anyone would like to play with her
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for anyone wondering, what about Han Sungsoo? 🤔 it seems that he hasn't been the CEO of Pledis since early 2022, the role until now was filled by Lee Dahye, a former VP for Bighit. HSS has still remained in the company but was demoted to an internal director
if you're wondering how you missed this, don't worry, there was never an official announcement! 🙃 carats had to find this out more than a year after the fact by doing some digging
but now Lee Dahye is being replaced by Kim Yeon Soo, who's the original VP of Pledis before they were acquired. He's the one that appeared on SVT Club, and he has historically had a good relationship with Seventeen. the way I always thought of it is Nu'est was HSS's project group, where Kim Yeon Soo oversaw the creation of svt. after the acquisition, he was put in charge of Hybe Labels Japan. it seems now he will remain in that position while also taking over as Pledis CEO
personally, I don't know what to think of this yet. on one hand carats have always had a positive view of Kim Yeon Soo, and he's always seemed to have a close relationship with svt. and I would say I'd rather have him in charge than a hybe plant
but the timing of it is very convenient. this is pure speculation on my part but with Seungkwan's Instagram post recently and all the stuff going on with hybe, it wouldn't surprise me if hybe was bringing in Kim Yeon Soo to try and appease the members (and possibly other Pledis employees). it definitely feels like they're trying to appease /somebody/ with this move, and I can't see it being the fans since most carats didn't know about Lee Dahye being the CEO in the first place. so I can only assume it's people within Pledis they're trying to appease 🤷♀️
#i didnt post about lee dahye directly when i found out bc i still wasnt totally sure if it was true#even though the evidence seemed to be pointing that way#although im pretty sure i remember posting a vague rant about hybe when i found out lmao#its interesting bc even after the acquisition even though i hated hybe#i felt it was still better for the members to re-sign and stay in pledis#bc where else would they go that would still have the resources to support them? especially when they seemed to be doing okay under hybe#even if i didnt like the company#but now i really do hope they leave#idk where they go or if it means they cant promote for a while or if it means they cant use the svt trademark and branding anymore#but all my worst fears about hybe have been proven true and i wouldn't be upset at all if they just left#which is not something i ever thought id say#like my ideal is that pledis could break from hybe all together but i know thats unrealistic#and its so frustrating bc i know its just a company but pledis has had such a rich and unique history of not only artists#but creative directors producers and other employees#but its been changed almost to the point of unrecognizability now#even nana who was with the company for 15 years left which says a lot#even the people who were loyal to pledis despite everything have started to leave#what does that say??#anyway im home sick today so i had time to rant#might turn rb's off later but ill try leaving them on#melia.txt
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Probably isn't what you expected (also sorry for responding so late lol)
But anyways lol there's two ways this could go
I think she'd either have PCOS and keep the beard. Or she'd have transfem butch swag. Beard could be a safety thing (passing as a man) or maybe she doesn't shave it off because she feels it doesn't take away from her identity so she keeps it. Maybe a bit of both.
Anyway, Butch Kieran Duffy be upon ye
#rdr2#kieran duffy#dz.art#dz.rdr#rdr the butchifacation#tumblr loves to eat up asks when I try to send it to the drafts#luckily took a screenshot of it b4 I did#i dont care ab gay Bill Williamson but I do believe (gay or not) hes never seen pussy b4#the reason i think hed have pcos is his in game facial hair pattern is really similar to that of ppl who have it#and even though I dont have pcos I am on T and how the few pathches of facial hair have grown in its kinda been growing in similar lol#If you love a character enough they end up becoming almost every letter of the alphabet#Kieran is this for me unfortunatly#canonically and realistically the closest to kieran being lgbt is being cishet but like a decently good ally#but hes gay bisexual lesbian trans masc trans fem to me#Rotating him in my head so much someone get him out before he gets sick and throws up#4th kinda ooc but eh...
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#homestuck#hom3stuck#hom24uck#dirk strider#roxy lalonde#sona#strilonde#strilondes#admin draws#fanart#doodles moderately grouped by theme that i keep forgetting to fkn post#im currently in the proces of getting sick and i have a presentation tomorrow that i already had a fucking nightmare abotu#and people wont stop messanging me on whatsapp despite it being SUNDAY NIGHT#tldr im just about to end it all. enjoy the dirks though#also my sona looks way too similar to roxy im realizing just. keep in mind one has big round glasses and the other doesnt#bonus late additions. idk what id call these but its like thoughts that pop into my head randomly almost every day#daily affirmations? is it intrusive thoughts if its this benign? it feels like they just come out of nowhere on their own#its like im pretty sure its me just coming back to them passively so i dont think its thought insertions. whatever.#self#TTAC
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"'why does everyone assume it's always about sex' looks at the narrator" Neil says, looking directly into the screen.
Neil really out here calling out the fuckers (cough probably twitter omg who said that-) who just think Astarion is all 'lets fuck ;}' and doesn't even try to have moments outside of that and I'm HERE for it.
#bg3#baldurs gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#the HR dnd session is SO cool#Devora headcanons gith ears to flick when annoyed;;;; gith are like kittycats#im almost at the end so I had to pause to get all my current thoughts out#I LOVE the idea of Gith being a little catlike though. Mark (the DM) asked if she had full control over the ears#but got no response as they were talking over eachother#so I'm gonna say that they don't have control#ogugoh. the small detail that I'll certainly use if I ever write something with Lae'zel in fr.#also gets me thinking about other dnd stuff for my sessions;;; hellyea#also including that although I always use } as my ) in smily faces#astarion also does this to me because its like fangs :}#a sick little smile in his eyes even
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does anyone have any good fics where vi works for Silco and jinx was in Stillwater?
#idk I think it would be a cool concept#like silco finding vi after she ran away#that would be a great way to showcase silco’s manipulation#to be able to convince a girl who was ready to kill him to adopt him as a father figure#I don’t think they would be as close as jinx and silco though#but vi and sevika working together#obviously vi isn’t a tinkerer but imagine vi working for silco who can take out squads of enforcers with her fists#that would be sick#and a jinx who’s gone insane in prison cooped up with nothing but her hallucinations#who started going by jinx in Stillwater#because she firmly believes that’s what she is#that’s why she’s in prison#also like a begrudging friends dynamic between Cait and Jinx#also bonus points for caitvi enemies to lovers#like come on#and ACTUAL enemies to lovers would be nice for once#instead of mild dislike to lovers#which is still great#jinx working with Viktor#almost half of their prototypes aren’t allowed to be shown to the public because they’re covered in scribbles#hell I don’t know if jinx would be allowed to be shown to the public#also uhhh I wouldn’t mind some lightcannon#oh who am I kidding this is just my outline for a fic#I should just write this myself#ok google docs get ready for some word vomit#arcane#vi arcane#jinx arcane#swap au#arcane silco
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People really need to give Steel Wool a break sometimes, man- They messed up with Security Breach and now people act like EVERYTHING wrong with modern fnaf is all exclusively their fault when it's really not.
#Chip Chatter#especially when the issue literally WASN'T ATTACHED TO THEM AT ALL!!!#People really just say shit I stg#there's probably one person who'll think this is about one particular post#this post is a culmination of things#the twitter bs going on right now about modern lore and some people pinning all the blame on steel wool even though they don't write the#lore. A conversation I had yesterday with some people where one person kept blaming and shitting on SWS for the smallest of things#The fact that any time I try to talk about a small issue with modern fnaf in any fucking way I'll have people tell me shit like#“it's steel wool what were you expecting” regardless of if the problem was even their fault#and just generally people giving Steel Wool so much shit and most of the time it being over fucking nothing#Like I GET that Steel Wool fumbled with Security Breach oh my fucking god that was almost 2 years ago can we MOVE ON!!!!#They're improving!!! They fumbled one game and a lot of the factors involved weren't their fault anyways!!! Can we give them a fucking#break and just move on with the rest of the series already!!! I'm so sick of hearing people complain about SB when it's been almost 2 years#and Steel Wool is showing nothing but signs of improvement#Cough uhm anyways#of course you can criticize Steel Wool and I'm not saying they've never done anything wrong ever#just don't needlessly shit on them especially if the problem was out of their hands.#Rant over I'm going to bed
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work is so ridiculous like why am i gaslighting myself into feeling bad about not coming into work due to a severe allergic reaction like if ur shortstaffed that is not my problem & i deserve to take care of myself and not worry about a place that pays me less than minimum wage to be there
#just kind of talking to myself#the owner makes us look for our ‘own coverage’ on sick days too like that’s so cruel & stresses me tf out#when im already stressed Bcs i have hives all over my face for seemingly no reason for almost 2 whole days#ugh just annoyed & uncomfortable & a little worried just venting here#especially annoying too bcs id rather make the money & not stay home looking like i have an infection disease bro#hope y’all are having a better day than me#though#take care everyone 💗
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dark. that was all he had ever known. cold, dark, damp. the boy shivers in the small room, painfully alone, only a book and his magic to keep him company. he tries not to use his magic very often, though. it seemed that the people above knew when he used it and they always always always refused to give him food until he “woke up” next, if they bothered to keep track of that. maybe this time he’ll learn their lesson. the boy whispers his spell, cur memini, and creates a small light in his fingers. this is the only spell he can cast safely, too small to be noticeable by the people above. he holds his hand over the fading book on the floor. the boy can’t read the letters on the page, but this book has pictures. he flips through it again, careful of the pages that were falling apart, admiring the figure in armor who always comes to rescue the figure in the tower, cut off from the world, just like him. the boy frequently dreams of a figure in armor coming to save him, despite the years he has spent alone. dark and cold and damp.
the room the boy lives in, the only room he has memories of, is empty besides himself and the book. sometimes the people above would give him water and stale bread to eat, and then there was a cup and a dirty plate, but otherwise it was just the boy and the book. the boy knows why the people above have locked him away, they told him that he was a freak of nature, unnatural, dangerous. but the boy could only make lights in his palm, and that wasn’t very dangerous at all. he thinks to himself that the people above are the dangerous ones, locking away a child for something like this, but he can’t say that out loud. he doesn’t want to die again.
the boy’s stomach grumbles and he curls in on himself, the light in his palm fades out. he longs to see the sun again, to play with the other children he can hear through the ceiling, to be normal. the people above must have decided to punish him again, though, as he doesn’t remember the last time he had anything to drink, to eat. his stomach would eat through his skin and he would still wake up the next day. why can’t he just die once and for all and be rid of the pain? why is the world keeping him here? why was he even born?
the boy closes his eyes, and falls asleep. maybe this time it won’t hurt so much.
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how long has he been here? the boy doesn’t keep track of time. he knows he’s died at least a dozen times, but how long does it take for a dozen lifetimes to pass?
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a clattering on the floor wakes the boy up. the people above decided he can eat today. stale bread and water again, but better than nothing to the boy. he crawls closer to it, listening to the door. it closes and the voices disappear. where was the sound of the lock? did they forget?
the boy scarfs down his food and water before tiptoeing up the stairs. he doesn’t hear any voices, but he needs to be careful. he doesn’t remember what the above looks like, but he needs to leave. he needs to be free.
slowly, quietly, he opens the door. it’s dark on the other side of it, but still much, much brighter than his room ever was. he closes his eyes but keeps the door open. breathe in, and out. opens his eyes again, blinking the brightness away. pushes the door further open. steps on the hard ground outside the door. he’s so close. closes the door quietly. turns around and holds his breath. where was outside? pick a direction and go. his legs hurt. turn the corner, listen for voices. voices are dangerous, get away from the voices. whisper his spell, create a small light. keep moving keep moving keep moving. window ahead. break it? open it? is he strong enough? lift the window up. too weak. voices coming. hurry hurry hurry must get out now. whisper spell again, hand on window. break the glass and jump through it. cuts on feet cuts on legs deal with that later. voices getting louder voices shouting. run run RUN.
the boy runs away from the building, away from his room. freedom is so close. first get to the trees, then… he hasn’t thought that far, but he will find a way. gunshots from the house. he runs faster, must get to the trees, must hide, must be free. cur memini, he whispers again, crossing into the forest. his spell can make lights and now break windows, but he needs it to protect him at this moment. run run run until the voices are quiet again. his legs are giving out, but he needs to run. he can’t die now or they’ll find him. keep running. bare feet on sticks and stones and sharp things, everything hurts but he can’t stop. he keeps running until the sun comes up. his heart beats out of his chest.
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when he wakes up he doesn’t know how much time has passed. his heart beats fast and he sits up. did they find him? he looks around. trees, rocks, a gurgling stream. he’s free. he’s free. he sighs and lays back down. how far did he run? he needs to go further. away from other people, away from anyone who might lock him up again. he sits up again and forces himself to stand and walk towards the sound of the stream. he can start there. water is important, and he might be able to get food from the little stream too.
his first drink of the stream water is icy cold, quenching his lifelong thirst in just a few swallows. he washes his face with it, removing years of sweat and grime. he wants to sit by the stream forever if only he could, but the people will find him eventually if he doesn’t keep moving. but he allows himself a few minutes to bathe in the water, savoring the feeling of water on his skin. his stomach still growls, wanting something more filling than the freezing water of the stream, but that would have to wait. he needs to get his bearings.
the light of the outside world is almost blinding, he realizes. the sun and the snow made it almost impossible to see anything. he should get up above the trees. can he even do that? cur memini, he says, trying to get his voice to be louder than a whisper. his feet float a few inches above the ground. he closes his eyes and says his spell again with more conviction. Cur Memini. he feels himself shooting into the air before he opens his eyes. he can see the forest stretch out for miles around him. trees covered in snow in every direction. if the old house is behind him, he should fly straight ahead, towards the forests on the mountains. tentatively, he leans forward and focuses his magic on keeping himself afloat.
it doesn’t take much to exhaust what little magic he has, but he’s put more distance between himself and the old house and the people above now. he should be safe to rest, truly rest. but first he should find something to eat. is there anything to eat out here? something in his head tells him to look a little closer to the ground. to his left. there’s a bush full of berries. he’s never had anything but stale bread, and doesn’t know what to expect as he crushes one with his teeth.
the sensation overtakes him for a brief moment. the berry is sweet, yet tart, and delicious. it’s the best thing he’s ever eaten and he thanks the little voice in his head for the information as he picks several more berries from the bush. the juice runs down his chin and makes him sticky, but it feels good. he feels truly alive for the first time.
once he’s finished picking the bush clean of its fruits, he needs to find a place to rest, to stay warm. he’s shivering in the intense cold of the north, but it’s nothing he isn’t used to. the room was never very warm after all. he listens to the little voices calling out to him, guiding him towards a small cave, instructing him on how to make a small fire to warm himself up. a small rabbit brushes against his leg and he swears one of the voices is coming from it. and with the fire going, he thanks the rabbit before it hops away back into the snow. he would be roasting that same rabbit over the fire a few months later.
the boy can’t stay in the cave forever though. as days turn to weeks turn to months, he worries that the people above are getting closer to him. they’ll put him back in that cold, dark, damp room again. he needs to keep moving. he has been practicing his magic, casting stronger spells, and he needs to be ready to fly. it's been long enough. cur memini he says holding his hand out. a rough stick with twigs tied to the end flies into his hand. it’s a poor excuse for what he understands is a broom, but it will work. he climbs onto it and focuses. cur memini cur memini cur memini. he lifts off the ground and watches as the branches of the trees get shorter and eventually he passes above the treetops.
he takes a moment to gather his bearings. he no longer remembers the direction the house was in, but going up is his best bet of staying away from the people above. he laughs, realizing that he is the one above them now. after a moment, he flies into the mountains. the small voices change into bigger, unfamiliar ones as he gets further into the mountain range. they tell him to hide, to stay away. he doesn’t listen. they cannot be more dangerous than the humans he is running from.
the boy lands, still exhausted from using so much magic, but he was able to travel further this time. that has to count for something, surely. he gathers some sticks and looks for another cave to make his home in. the caves remind him too much of the room he left, so he chooses to stay close to the entrance, close to the light that reminds him he is free. the fire keeps the animals away, but the voices are curious about the new presence in their woods. they make him curious too. he should stay in the cave tonight though and regain his energy. maybe he can get some small game to fill his stomach before settling in for the night. he listens for a rabbit’s voice, or maybe a squirrel, anything that would be small enough to kill with his hands.
at last, a small fox’s voice is heard nearby. he wonders if fox will taste different from the other game he’s eaten thus far. he lifts a hand-sized rock and slinks out of the cave towards the voice. it takes a few minutes to find the source, but the fox is curled under a tree, shivering, hungry, just like him. the boy hesitates before bludgeoning it and slinging the corpse over his shoulders. there are more foxes. he is much more important.
the fox is only the first animal he hunts in those mountainous woods. he spends several years in that forest and eventually humans settle up there as well. the boy, or rather, the man now, has made a name for himself amongst the human populations of the north. he is no longer afraid of humans capturing him and locking him up. they are still terrified of him, but now he is in control of that terror. the hunters that left his territory alive whispered tales of the great wizard owen who inhabited the mountains and terrorized anyone who had the bad luck of running into him.
all of this is perfectly fine with owen. eventually his reputation will grow beyond himself, encapsulating atrocities that were impossible for even someone as strong as oz to commit, but that would be a problem for future owen. for now, he is still young and living in his cave on the outskirts of a small village and scaring hunters who stray too far from their boundaries. the wolves don’t like these visitors either and gladly listen to owen’s lamentations. it keeps his hands clean of the bloodshed if he isn’t casting the spell himself. the wolves don’t care for owen either, but they respect him. and that is enough for owen.
the first of the unwanted visitors was a young man, someone who wanted to provide for his family. he pleaded with owen and the wolves to let him go and he wouldn’t cause any problems. those pleas fell on deaf ears though as owen looked the man in the eyes. won’t your family be disappointed, he asked almost innocently, you don’t have anything to show for your efforts. the man stammered a response, they’d rather i come back alive with nothing than die trying to find food. is that so, owen reached out for the man’s chin, the distance between their faces was almost nothing. y-yes, sir, please just let me go and i won’t bother you anymore. owen grinned. oh i’m sure you won’t be causing us any trouble again. the wolves stalked out of the woods, drooling at the prospect of tearing a piece of that man for themselves. owen snapped his fingers, and they came running forward, only to stop mere inches from the now trembling man. there was a suspicious yellow stain in the snow beneath him. p-p-please sir, anything you ask, it’s yours! then make sure you tell the rest of your little village that this forest belongs to the great wizard owen. the man ran off, leaving behind a hunting rifle and a ratty sack. the rifle would be of use, but the sack became tinder for his fires.
despite the warning from that first man, hunters continued to enter into owen’s territory. and one after the other, they ran off screaming with their tails between their legs. this should have annoyed owen, that people would ignore all of the warnings and stories that had started popping up about him, but it doesn’t. their fear feeds into his magic power, only making him stronger, and that is all fine with owen. he is no longer a weak child locked in the damp, dark basement, and he never will be again.
#shay writes#mahoyaku#promise of wizard#mhyk fanfiction#owen#owen mhyk#owen mahoyaku#character study#my wips#okay putting. disclaimers in the tags bc formatting. i am still new to reading everything#i'm almost done with the ballads. i have one left and its the proud hunter one#and then i'm hoping to start the first anni story#so uhhhhh if anything past the ballads is wrong no its not#jk jk i just havent gotten to it but i also like to take creative liberties with some things#and i definitely have already#trust me this is going to be way longer than it already is#like this is 2.5k words and i'm only posting all of it now bc its owen's birthday#i have several more scenes i want to write out as well that will add probably at least#another 2k words to this#if not more. its gonna be a time#but i did force myself to get to a decent place to end where it wasnt like. the middle of the scene#or a sentence. which some of my wips do accidentally end midsentence. i need to get better at that#but yeah. okay i should go to sleep i am actually sick and need to sleep and pray#i can go to work tomorrw. though if i'm feeling worse thats fine w me#i can sleep in for once#anyway happy birthday owen my mippy <3
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recently thinking about the tcwg episode where mochis mob spell finally starts running out. apparently its maximum possible usage is 10 years (which they find out from pom) and appearently tiramisu put it on her too soon,,... when they ask her she says "Oh...you were such a cute kid I didn't want to wait too long!!" while pinching her cheeks, and suddenly theres a few more people at school who are like "Hey...I never really noticed but...Mochi is kinda pretty, huh?"
for the people who start to notice, they chalk it up to "Maybe she hit puberty late...?" or something, but regardless she has 1 or 2 more people actually ask her out, and lime starts to realize how much it bothers him
#text#bpp#lore#she is....not used to it#mayhaps let this be the moment lime realizes#the pitcher on the baseball team one day standing next to lime and goes (So....mochi doesnt have a boyfriend right?)#and lime takes a very long pause#(technically no but first of all what the hell? no one ever notices her. and second of all i feel sick to my stomach) -lime thoughts#pom: it should be fine. youre almost graduated so you dont have to deal with it much longer#and mochi trying to grapple with the idea that some people actually think shes pretty#(besides her mom and coco. theyre the only people who tell her and she thinks theyre being nice)#shes like (i think theyre lying...)#(they are definately not lying) -lime thoughts again#only like 2 people have enough bravery. the others are like (shit shes limes girl though....how am i supposed to compete with that)#the mob spell is op but only for a little while#and after it runs out it cant be recast on the same person#lime didnt realize that she doesnt think shes pretty at all#when that guy confesses to her the first thing she says is (you...think im pretty?)#coco oscar and lime all hovering outside the classroom listening
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hey folks did you know i love super dangan ronpa 2
#marzi speaks#thinking abt the themes in that story#ESPECIALLY the letting other people’s perceptions dictate who you are vs choosing who you are for yourself and not letting anyone stop you#like almost every single one of the sdr2 cast has a front they put on/identity they’re ‘supposed’ to be vs who they truly are#komaeda’s i could write an essay on so we’re gonna skip him bc. energy#hajime’s is obvious. i don’t need to explain that one. though he tries really hard to come off as more masculine as well which. augh#speaking of masculine souda is a victim of toxic masculinity. he was bullied and had a dad who sucked so he changed himself to look fiercer#ibuki left her band due to ‘creative differences’- she didn’t fit into that classic pop band mold and she allowed herself to deviate#mahiru puts extra pressure on men around her bc Her Dad Also Sucked and she’s sick of having to deal with weaponized incompetence#gundham is this sweet kind kind boy who hides it all underneath a veil of darkness. the darkness is not a lie either though he is both#sonia. literally a princess. has huge shoes to fill. in reality she’s a horror fiend who just wants to nerd out abt true crime#nekomaru’s heart condition would have taken him out of sports forever but he found another way and started team managing instead#fuyuhiko is set up to be the next head of the kuzuryu clan but on the inside he is so compassionate (and canonically a prude lmao)#peko is literally raised as a tool and tries to embrace this role even though the one she works for just wants her to be herself#i haven’t seen hiyoko’s ftes but i imagine she’d be far less cruel if she didn’t have to deal with constant infantilization and perverts#twogami just. as a whole. the whole character. yeah#there’s for sure more but i haven’t seen everyone’s ftes so. yanno#like fuck !!!!!! people will always have a perception of what they think you should be but you cannot truly be happy#until you allow yourself to disregard those expectations and forge your own path instead !!!! fuck !!!!!
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Watching Interview With The Vampire Season 2 with my partner
(context for folks who didn't read the books: the characters are significantly more fucked up than in the show, and part of Armand's seduction of Louis and Claudia is presenting them with Armand's personal boy, who sleeps in a little cage in his office, which is one of the primary things I remember about him from the first book)
Episode 2.03
Armand, to Louis: "I have something to show you." Me: "Is it your boy in a cage, Armand?" My partner: "I don't think he has a boy in a cage in this universe." Me: "That's weird!"
Episode 2.04
Armand, explaining his tragic backstory in an art gallery Me: "Yes that's sad but what about your boy in a cage???" My partner: "This Armand doesn't have a boy in a cage!" Me: "And that's weird!! Is he even Armand without a boy in a cage???"
Episode 2.05
Daniel, to Louis: "How long did you two keep me there? I was a glorified house pet for two, three, four, five days? " Me: "Oh my god Daniel is the boy in the cage." My partner: "Finally! He is!" (we have to pause the show because we're too busy cackling at the realization)
#we're enjoying it very much#we've been screaming a lot#which is impressive considering i'm super sick and my throat hurts So Very Much#anyways two episodes to go and then we're caught up#i love this armand so fucking much btw don't get me wrong#it's just weird to be in a slightly better universe#where anne rice isn't hitting me over the head with Terrible Vampire Actions every two seconds#but also i get to look at pretty people???? and it's kind of killing me????#every time armand faces the camera i almost pass out#maybe that's the cold medication though#iwtv#iwtv s2#ask to tag
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im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed
my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.
and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.
anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,
I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me
im going by metro which is quite safe
im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18
she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)
anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm
so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?
anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".
and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.
#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play#till 10:30 at night#she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8#this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house#and now that my brother is in class 7#he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30#he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like#one sentence#yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke#up in the house its all my fault#this is just so damn unfair#like literally insulting#im not a child what is her problem#what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate?#i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present]#and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up#my whole life i've been told abar late?''#and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play#5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30#and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude#with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play#im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi#after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other#she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit#and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12#its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how#like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO#istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy#groceries#i can cycle
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Hi!! I barely found your blog, and I love it to bits! Your ramblings are literally so funny and entertaining! (Live, Laugh, Love LaughingStock btw-) and while I love all your au's, I'm most excited about Lights Out! Angst is so good, and I'm certainly a goober who can appreciate it! Though, hearing all this talk of Frank being the poor fella who dies (that we know of at least) do you have a thought process on why him?? Or is that something you're not ready to share yet? (Agh, sorry, this got long!!)
i do indeed! i don't believe in killing characters without a real reason or impact - that's just lazy writing!
simple answer: he's been awake the longest (after Wally of course.) i'm making the black Goop™️ a more uh... Tangible thing for this au where my thought process is essentially: "the black sludge stuff is what kinda 'powers' the neighborhood - it's like water. essential for survival, but too much will kill you." and he got Too Much of it! he doesn't have a natural resistance to it like Wally does
#thats the Very simple answer that doesnt go into the mechanics of the goop and why it'd affect frank but not the others (yet) and-#there's a lot!#not sure if i want to share those particular details yet!#but yeah essentially frank has the longest exposure to it#and it starts to slowly suffocate him <3#as it does wally!#though wally got through decades of direct exposure before it starts to affect him#- & around the same time its hitting frank too! only a couple years after he wakes up!#as soon as wally starts coughing too hes like 'oh. its my turn. anyway'#but yeah the Goop Sickness goes#'coughing every once in a while > goop starts seeping from ya mouth > it seeps from your eyes & if you get cut > trouble breathing#> coughing gets a lot worse and the seeping is near constant > get very weak > fall into a coma > Die!'#by the time frank is almost to coma-time wally is nearing the 'very weak' stage#and poppy is at the second stage while howdy is at the first#wh lights out au#rambles from the bog#also thank you!#live laughingstock love indeed!!
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