#all mistakes and formatting issues are my own

[cissa-calls]

Countdown to Agatha All Along: Day 856

The Lyrics of The Ballad of the Witches’ Road:

Marching ever forward,

‘Neath the wooded shrine.

I stray not from the path,

I hold death’s hand in mine.

Primal night,

Give its sight,

Familiar by thy side.

If sun be gone we carry on,

Spirit as our guide.

Down, down, down the road

Down the Witches Road

Down, down, down

Down the witches road

Down, down, down the road

Down the Witches Road

Blood and tears and bone

Maiden, Mother, Crone

The Road is wild and wicked,

Winding through the wood,

Where all that’s wrong is right,

And all that’s bad is good.

Through many miles of tricks and trials,

we’ll wander high and low

Tame your fears,

A door appears,

The time has come to go.

Down, down, down the road

Down the Witches Road

Down, down, down

Down the Witches Road

Down, down, down the road

Down the Witches Road.

Follow me my friend,

To glory at the end.

*mad cackling*

Lyrics transcribed by me from this video:

[ashiemochi]

hey bestie <3

I’d like to request a birthday smut with death island! Leon please and thank you 💕

wrote this on phone bc im on a trip and my phone is actually starting to drop dead so </3 time for a new phone ig. But!! here's something 💕 (don't point out mistakes or weird formatting, my phone is ASS)

Leon never liked being late in any way.

Traffic was his arch nemesis because it always resulted to him getting late to work – which also resulted in numerous lectures from his higher-ups.

Another thing he hated; alarms.

Those fuckers either don't do their jobs or are just for show – or maybe he should be getting a new phone or an actual rooster to cock-a-doodle-doo at the glimpse of the sunrise.

Late to events were even worse than mundane things. The amount of times the President would give him a look that simply said "you're late and I'm not impressed" were endless. It wasn't like he had much of a choice when he'd be fresh out of a mission or an assignment that he'd wear the wrong colour of suit, or mismatch his socks in a hurry.

Not to mention. Fucking. Traffic.

However, there was one thing Leon for sure hated the most, absolutely revolted at the idea.

Missing your birthday.

Much to his shitty worse line of luck, he was ordered to rush to the Alcatraz Island for an assignment. To his luck, some deranged guy with a bucket load of issues and untreated trauma decided on a random Sunday at church that he was going to be playing God and start an outbreak via mosquitoes.

Leon was never going to catch a break. All the time at the island, the agent couldn't stop thinking about how to make it up to you. Even when he was infected with the virus and minutes away from losing his last bits of humanity, you were on his mind all the time.

When he returned home, you had opened the door to a bruised and bandaged up Leon with a bouquet of roses in hand. A tired but apologetic tilted grin was on his face, his side leaning against the doorframe.

"Happy... Late birthday, sweetheart..."

While he didn't expect you to be mad at him, a tiny nagging something within him relaxed when you were nowhere near upset. Your worry and glee that he was back in one piece made you forget about your birthday, your arms residing around his neck into a tight embrace where his arms went for your waist – where they belonged.

But the flowers weren't his only way of apologizing – because what started as a simple reunion kiss turned into something more and hotter.

"Oh, fuck..."

His voice was breathy right next to your ear, nearly over clouding the creaking sounds of the bed. His skin was searingly hot against yours, your body painted with hickies and lovebites. Galaxies and nebulas in all the right spots, painless and painful.

Yet they were tomorrow's problem.

His hand was pinning your wrist to the mattress, the other gripping the back of your knee to push it back against your chest. His fingers were digging into your flesh, his hips moving in a perfectly powerful rhythm that had your mind reeling.

"Oh, god... Ah, Leon–nhh~" Your moans were his favourite sound. A sex playlist would usually be on, but on nights like these, it'd be just you and him.

His cock was diving into your pussy, emitting that moist gushing noise the harder he moved. Your clit was throbbing with how intense the pleasure was for you, bringing you a lot closer to yet another orgasm. You really tried to keep track of how many times Leon had made you cum, but after four, everything just became a mixed haze of lust and longingness.

Leon grunted lowly, his blueblue eyes observing your expressions sharply. His lips were parted for your own favourite sounds, his groans and growly moans sending shivers to your core; red and swollen from the countless hickies on your body and kissing you.

Those lips of yours were absolutely intoxicating.

The blunt tip of his bigbig cock was slamming into your walls, going almost rogue as your arousal and previous orgasms dripped and dropped to the drenched sheets.

You never knew you could squirt, but Leon was confident in his skills. It took time, and god was it worth it.

Your face was flushed, your free hand on his back with your nails digging into him. You could feel his toned muscles flexing and shifting right beneath his skin. Your gaze trailed up to him, your moans and soft whines escaping nonstop.

"L–Le– f–fuck, you're too," You keened, your other leg wrapping around his waist, whimpering as your walls squeezed hard on his thick dick, "deep!"

"Oh, yeah?" Leon muttered, the corner of his lips irking upwards into an amused smirk.

That was the last thing you heard before he released your wrist only to switch his grip to your other leg. He hooked both legs into either of his elbows, pushing them onto his shoulders and easily tugging you close to him his figure towering over you completely. His cock hit that spot in you, bringing stars to your eyes with a hitched squeak.

His whole length was inside, especially when he leaned over you, causing his pelvis to brush against your needy pearl. His hands returned to your waist to keep you pinned in place, his hips relentless as he pounded into you.

"Mmh, that's deeper, isn't it, honey?" Leon hummed, his thrusts growing ruthless as he fucked you with vigour, pushing a moan from him, "Oh, fuck... You're just so fucking wet and tight for me..."

"Nnh! Oh, g–god! Leon!" You cried out, your body starting to tremble and your arm joined the other around his back, your nails forming angry red crescent moons, "S–shit!"

The pleasure was looming once again, the knot within you tightening more and more. Leon's hips were out of his control, revealing he was just as close to his peak as you were.

Leon groaned, his eyes screwing shut for a second as he felt your walls starting to clasp around his cock as if trying to feel every ridge and bulging vein on it. His toes curled up on the bed sheets, his thighs tensing.

"Oh, fuck, fuck..." Leon let out a choked sound, his desperation to release causing his voice to break and hitch into a lower octave.

"Leon, I–" Your moans cut you off, whining as your legs trembled over his shoulders, "'m gonna, ah!"

Leon's lustful eyes found yours, for a second his love for you spilling through the thick dirty haze and he couldn't help but feel every so grateful for having someone to return home to.

Someone to fight for when the world's going to shit.

His lips met yours hard in a searing heated kiss, your breathless moans making it a bit difficult but it all felt just right. It ticked you off first when he dove his cock to the hilt, pistoning into your squelching cunt and pressing up against your clit.

A loud moan went muffled, swallowed by him as he groaned against your lips. The white-hot pleasure rattled your bones, coiling around your muscles at the intensity that your back arched off the bed. Your gushy walls clamped tight around his cock, consequently pushing him straight to the peak he craved.

His lips parted from yours to push his face into the crook of your neck, his hips stuttering to a stop flush against yours as if trying to keep his twitching cock as deep he could. His groan was, if not, just as loud even when he obviously tried to stay quiet. His cum spurted out thickly, filling you up so good and so warm. You could almost feel it in your tummy at this point.

A shaky exhale escaped from him, his hips moving again but at a slower pace, gently riding you both down from your cloud nine. He panted heavily as he moved his face away from your neck, his eyes shut as his lips peppered kisses from your jaw, cheek, inching closer to the corner of your lips before sealing them with his.

You faint hum merged with his, your hands kneeding and massaging against the angry scratches on his back. His hips retreated slowly, slipping his cock out that was still visibly twitching and his cum seaping and dripping from the red tip. A string of his climax connected between him and your abused cunt.

Leon parted from the kiss, his sweaty fringes dangling with the tips brushing against your forehead. One of his hands reached up to the side of your face, his gaze doing their usual scan to make sure you were okay and that he didn't go too far.

"I'm okay..." You whispered softly, your voice just as breathy as you brushing away his bangs which only dangled wetly about so your hand rested on his neck, your thumb tracing the stubble across his jawline, and with a faint giggle, "And I forgive you."

Leon chuckled, his eyes growing gentle as he caressed your sides gingerly, "Good, maybe I should start missing your birthdays a bit more, yeah?"

You huffed, lightly smacking his shoulder, "Don't push it."

"Yeah, yeah," He smiled before carefully setting your legs back onto the bed which they only fell limply, still shaking and he squeezed your thighs, "Okay, I'll get us water and something to drink, then we'll continue."

That made you blink, confused as you tilted your head to the side, watching him as he sat at the edge of the bed with his eyes trying to locate his boxers at least. With a soft groan, you pushed yourself up onto your elbows, giving him a puzzled look when he stood up and slipped on his undergarment.

"Continue?" You repeated, your heart starting to pound once again, "We're not done?"

Leon gave you a look as if you had grown another head and he approached you, his hand pressing into the pillow next to your head and the other tilting your chin up with just his index and thumb.

"Of course we're not done, birthday girl." Leon grinned, his nose brushing against yours, "Still gotta make up for our anniversary."

Way to go for Leon asking you to be his on your birthday.

[atinyniki]

dear (ex)lover.

group: stray kids !

pairing: idol!kim seungmin x f!reader

genre: pure angst, letter

warnings + additional info: seungmin is referred to as seungmin and min, seungmin was (and still is) a dick, seungmin is a player, seungmin led reader on, reader reminisces the past, reader blames seungmin for the downfall of their relationship (rightfully so), reader has past trauma from relationships, mentions of waiting till marriage, reader has body image issues, reader has been depressed, reader has trust issues, reader misses seungmin, just a really really sad angsty letter, intended lowercase, written in letter format.

authors note: okay. im so sorry for this... this is also not proofread. english is not my first language, so please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. happy reading :)

wc: 1033

dear lover,

why don’t we talk anymore? i remember, you told me i was your best friend once. i remember, i was your best friend before i was your lover. i understand, your love for me is gone now, but weren’t we supposed to be friends? didn’t you tell me we could go back to the way it was? so why don’t you talk to me? why do you avoid my eyes when you see me? why do you ignore my texts?

why do you only speak to me when it’s convenient for you?

i remember when i first opened up to you, my love. i told you i didn’t fit in with the group. i didn't think you needed me, and i didn’t think the others did either. you told me you didn’t know you needed me until i was in your life. do you still need me? why did you love me like that if you were just going to ghost me in the end? we talked about so much. you bought me my wedding ring. i wore my heart on my sleeve for you. you gave me a promise ring. why did you break your promise? why did you write so many love letters to me, knowing that you were leaving in the end?

what did i do to be treated like this? i should have been better to you, right? it’s my fault, right? i had to have done something… right? what did i do? i can do better, i can. i can be a better friend, i promise. you were my first real friend. you held me when things were hard. i need you to hold me once more. you always did my hair all nice to distract me. i miss when you’d braid it. you even played with my stuffed animals with me. you were the first person who accepted me for me.

why don’t you like me anymore? why am i always the one to approach you? did you only speak to me because i spoke to you first? was this all one-sided and you only spoke to me because i annoyed you till you replied? i didn’t know. i didn’t know that i was being annoying. i didn’t realize it. i thought you wanted me too. i’ve been having nightmares again. you told me you’d be there. it’s funny, isn’t it? you promised you’d always be there, but now you’re the cause of them. you broke my trust. you fucked up, and i forgave you. again and again, i forgave you. i took you back for every mistake you made.

why did you take my heart for granted? why did you break me like this? am i unlovable? did you grow tired of me? could you not stand me anymore like the others? the boys told me what you said about me. what you said about my body. i know i don’t look the same anymore, but can’t you still love me? am i really all that different now? or maybe you just don’t want someone who rots in bed all day. yeah, they told me that part too. maybe you couldn’t deal with my past trauma. i’ve lost people in the past like i lost you before. you told me you wouldn’t leave me. not the way they did, at least. but you did. you left, and you ruined me in the process.

maybe i am unlovable. maybe this was meant to happen. was it for the better? did you mean it when you said you loved me those last nights we spent together? did you find it fun? breaking my heart? was it nice to watch me fall apart that night on my bedroom floor? was it fun to use my own pain against me? was it fun telling me it was my fault? did it take some of your guilt away?

i’m mad at you, still.

but a part of me still loves you. a part of me still wants to forgive you, and i don’t know why. i shouldn’t, i know. you don’t deserve my forgiveness. you don’t deserve anything i have to offer. but i still want to forgive you. i still want to love you like i used to. i still want to tell you that im here for you, and i still want to hold you while we fall asleep. i still want to brush away your tears, and i still want to do your skincare for you. but you’re fading away from my life. i don’t know the person i fell in love with anymore, because they aren’t you. i miss his sweet voice, and i miss his melting touch. i miss the sound of his heartbeat, and i miss his heart. but it’s always going to be you, isn’t it? it’s always been you. you’re the person i love most, but the feelings are fading away too. i want to keep them with me. i want to hold it all so tight that your love can’t escape anymore, but you’re gone. you’re gone, and you took my heart with you.

i’m sorry. was i not good enough for you? i wish i could have been the one for you. i don’t know if i’m allowed to say it, but i miss you, min. i miss our late night laughter, i miss our runs to the coffee shop. i miss the bond we had. where did it go? why am i the only one putting effort into this stupid friendship anymore? why do i always text first? why am i begging for you to love me again?

it’s stupid.

this is stupid.

you’re stupid.

i hate you.

i hate you for using me.

i hate you so much for ruining us.

i hate you for ruining what we had.

i hate you for ruining every memory with you.

i hate you for ruining me for anybody else.

you ruined me.

they’ll never be you.

no one will ever be you.

i hate you, kim seungmin.

i hate you.

i miss you.

i miss you, and i hate it.

i hate it.

i hate you.

i love you, your ex lover.

</3

[illym]

I think this might be one of my favorites which I really shouldn't say when I've only read like 10. It's very funny.

Original & cleaned comics under the cut, along with details.

Translation assistance: @reunioninn

ID in alt.

original text below the comic:

Third comic I picked managed to hit me with what I assume to be wordplay. I tried to make sure the joke landed correctly.

-

All of the below is now moot, since the issue wasn't a pun or wordplay, but the format that Robo-Ky speaks in. He speaks exclusively in Katakana which translation software has trouble translating. Now that I know this, I'll hopefully be able to get it translated into 'regular' Japanese for more accurate translation.

In panel three, DeepL translated [ ソコニ 立ツナ! ] as [ There you go. Tuna! ]. When I checked a bit further, DeepL further defined it as [ canned tuna (from canned tuna standing on its own) ]. Two other sources defined it as [ rope, cord, line ] and [ to leave, to stand, to move oneself, to stand (up for something ]. All of the different definitions and the title led me to believe that it was a pun I couldn't understand.

I decided that using a 'direct' translation would... Just make it too nonsensical, especially since I wouldn't be able to explain the joke. Since the joke is that Anji is mistaking Robo-Ky as sleeping when he's actually doing something else, i decided that keeping the beginning of what Robo-Ky says [ there you go. ] would be a... decent compromise? I did the best that I could.

This is probably what'll feel iffiest about using translation software to translate these instead of doing it myself; I know that there's something I'm missing, and using context clues only gets so far when it's a pun or the like.

But on the other hand, there aren't many people translating these, and putting requests in to those people when there are so many comics I want to see translated is exceptionally selfish.

If anyone who understands Japanese personally wants to team up with me to translate these, I wouldn't say no.

If you have a better translation, or can explain what I missed here, send me an ask or a message with it and I'll either update the translation and update the credits with your username, or rewrite the dialogue that I changed the most to fit better with the original meaning.

The first version of this comic that I posted:

Leaving this in the post to keep a record. I think it was a decent guess, personally. But that's just me.

second version (it's so minor, but i felt it flowed better with 'just' so I HAD to fix it.)

[discord-lurking]

Dungeons and Daddies Wiki Drama: A Greek Tragedy Told through the Medium of Forum Posts (Part 1)

Prologue

Greek tragedies are typically formatted in three or more acts interspersed with choral interludes, beginning with a prologue, and ending with an exodus. In these, protagonists often meet their downfall due to their fatal flaw, or hamartia: the ways in which the protagonists are their own undoing. Our own human failings are the things that bring us the most pain.

When considering a three-act Greek tragedy structure for this, my first thought was to use the Oresteia as a framing device, a trilogy of plays written by Aeschylus about Agamemnon's family in the aftermath of the Trojan War. Upon reflection, though, the themes of the Oresteia (revenge vs. justice, perpetuating a cycle of violence, honor and punishment) didn't quite fit the story I was trying to tell.

No, this is a classic tale of hubris: excessive pride and its ultimate downfall.

After all, what position could come with more power than that of wiki moderator for a Dungeons and Dragons podcast series?

Act One: The Beginning of the End

The D&Dads wiki has historically been... unhelpful, at best. (Source: Myself.) Trouble had been brewing for a long time.

Forum posts from spring 2022 began noting issues cropping up around the wiki. First, it was a complaint about anonymous users "disrupting" the wiki (specifically on Jodie-related pages) while also fixing mistakes in articles.

I'm unsure what specific "disruptions" were meant, but the proposal to ban anonymous users didn't garner much traction.

March 21st, 2022:

After little activity for months (only one forum post, related to infoboxes), wiki user TwoRatner had a radical proposition: wiki migration.

December 17th, 2022:

TwoRatner suggested an alternate platform that would have different editing options, then made a potentially-prophetic statement: the wiki might be cursed.

This warning went unheeded.

December 27th, 2022:

Ten days after the migration suggestion, TwoRatner came back to ask if there were any recent changes. This went unanswered for months until new user Penguinwithafancytophat reported adding art to character pages (including Glenn, a main season 1 character since the start of the podcast in 2019, who incredibly might not have had any official art on his wiki page before March of 2023).

Spring of 2023 seemed to bring along a revival of the wiki, with new editors coming in, engaging with the forum, and attempting to make suggestions on how to improve wiki organization.

March 31st, 2023:

May 27th, 2023:

July 17th, 2023:

October 2nd, 2023:

Interestingly, the only administrator seen to be interacting with these enthusiastic new editors? Gaycowboyrats. Let's put a pin in that.

Enter: the drama.

It started out simple enough- a forum posts for administrators to discuss changes that needed to be made.

November 3rd, 2023:

76 replies.

Seventy. Six. Replies. Each deeply interesting in its own way.

However, this is a Tumblr post, not an Hbomberguy video essay, so I'll keep it brief.

The discussion started out as one might expect a wiki admin discussion to start:

Mods discussed blocks, deleting stub pages, spam, etc. Standard wiki business.

The first reply to ping my interest:

Removing cast pages from a wiki about their work seemed like an odd decision, in my non-wiki-editor opinion, but the last line is what really stuck out: "Besides, I hate the idea of someone vandalizing the pages to defame them."

Several questions arose for me:

Was this a known problem? Were people constantly vandalizing cast pages?

Would a vandalized fandom wiki page really defame somebody?

Isn't the point of wiki editing to remove vandalization on articles?

The administrators began to stand out to me as deeply invested in a very specific sense of wiki justice.

Users TwoRatner, Brazil86, and TheOneTrueGod41 agreed with Honic's take.

Another thing to ping my interest: these users seemed to share a similar odd, slightly stilted, writing style. Almost Tommy Wiseau-esque.

Brazil86 expressed optimism about users engaging with wiki pages, something that would begin to set them apart from other administrators.

As I read, themes began to emerge: wiki justice, and incongruous one-liners.

Quoth Honic Washington: "I just found a wave of nonsense fish. My backyard is full of them. Hey, TOTG41, do you like jazz? I like jazz."

Truly, modern poetry.

Administrator Marth8204 suggested giving people more time. More time for what? Unclear. It seems a plan was afoot.

TwoRatner came in with a hot take: "I feel like we need a community more right now, than adding links that people can search for in the search bar."

Brazil86 agreed: Changing the navigation was less important than getting people editing and making friends.

Another theme began to emerge: wiki community as more important than wiki functionality.

Gaycowboyrats had some (incredibly reasonable) objections to this, pointing out that the wiki was a resource for many visitors who might not participate- something that is generally true of wikis as a form of content.

Honic Washington responded to this, the signs of wiki-related stress beginning to show.

Honic posts a long rant about the thankless task of moderating a wiki, which goes largely unacknowledged.

Notable TwoRatner quotes:

"You can't crack open a few omelets without punching a few egg-rolls."

"Now Freddie will get more money. What do you all say? I think I helped quite a bit."

Another theme emerges: discontent in the wiki moderator ranks.

Honic reaches full Joker mode. Again, this goes largely unacknowledged.

Honic: "I am leader. I am a painter! Keep your rules. Keep your status. Keep your friends."

"Keep your status"- words that will reverberate throughout the rest of this tale.

The final theme? Wiki moderator status, and the maintenance of it.

After Honic's bomb drop, conversation about regular wiki moderation continued, with mods considering the addition of a bot to make edits.

Admin Discussion Zone, first started by Honic Washington, ends not with a bang but with a whimper.

Over nearly a year of forum posts, patterns emerged.

Firstly- users attempting to engage in the wiki, wiki administrators not engaging with these new users, then wiki administrators bemoaning the lack of user engagement.

The notable exception was Gaycowboyrats, the only wiki administrator to engage with new users in the forums. Gaycowboyrats, the administrator whose (incredibly reasonable) suggestions ended with Honic Washington's villain-esque monologues and denouement as a moderator.

Secondly- administrators putting forth large-scale, drastic solutions to real or perceived wiki problems. This includes Cheesoid4 wanting to ban anonymous users, TwoRatner suggesting site migration, Honic deleting cast pages to prevent vandalism, and more to come.

Thirdly- wiki administrators seeming to share similar styles of speech and occasional non-sequiturs. Interestingly, this mainly seems to include the wiki administrators who agree with each other.

Funny how that happens.

Chorus

Stay tuned for Part 2, where the forum drama really starts to heat up.

[sirfrogsworth]

If there is a post discussing ableism there is a decent chance a disabled person is writing it.

I really appreciate the work this person did transcribing that post. I am always grateful when people make my work more accessible.

But I am really getting tired of defending myself on this.

My disability makes me very tired, reduces my concentration, and kills my willpower.

For a long time I thought that last thing was me being lazy. That's what my own father thought for a long time. And I was often scolded when I was younger for being lazy. And to this day I struggle with feeling depressed when I cannot be productive.

But willpower is a fickle thing and I do not believe it can be explained simply by calling people lazy.

I have nearly a thousand unfinished posts in my draft folder because I simply ran out of willpower to finish them.

Inspiration is fuel. Sometimes it is the only thing I have to overcome how tired I am and how hard it is to stay focused. And if I lose the inspiration to do something, there is a good chance I will not be able to finish it.

When I set out to create one of my typical high effort posts, the process looks roughly like this...

Research any topics I am unfamiliar with.

Gather any images I need.

Brainstorm what I want to write.

Write a first draft.

Write a second draft.

Write a third draft.

If there is humor in what I'm writing, I will do a joke pass.

Then I do a grammar check.

Then I do a grammar check.

Then I do a grammar check.

I keep doing grammar checks until I find no more mistakes.

Then I do a quick fact check and google anything I am not 100% certain is correct.

Then I do a polishing pass and address any formatting issues.

And if I get this far, I publish the post.

By the time I get to publishing I am usually very tired. I no longer have any ability to concentrate. And the willpower to put any more effort into the post is long gone.

It's not that I don't want to transcribe images. It's that I just don't have the willpower to do so.

It is just not feasible for me to go back and transcribe everything. I don't want my posts ending up with those thousand unfinished drafts.

There is also the matter of not knowing if my post will reach 10 people or 10,000 people. I can't justify using up all of that energy for 10 people. My energy is my most precious commodity. I have to be very careful how I use it.

Disabilities vary wildly and lately I have seen a lot of disabled folks struggle to see the world outside their particular limitations. And that is frustrating. If we are going to be a strong community and advocate for ourselves, we need to learn more about each other's needs and limitations.

I'm not saying this person intended to call me lazy. But, if I am being honest, reading this felt like those days of my dad calling me lazy and wishing I had a better work ethic like my brother. He was a great dad, but he was not perfect. Especially when I was younger and we didn't understand my health issues.

So before you criticize someone please try to consider if there is a legitimate reason to do so. Maybe look at their tumblr and read their bio. Or check out a few posts.

I can be too quick to judge. It's something I have to work on as well. But this is the last time I'm going to apologize for not doing extra labor on my posts.

[thecurioustale]

My New Book Is Out! | Tokens of Zeal

My new book is out!

Buy it! Buy it now!

That's right: In secret, on January 2 of this year I began writing a book of essays. Some of you may know that I have an online journal, which I created in the summer of 2003 when I was just 21 years old and have kept up with ever since. For my new book I went back to the journal and read through it, entry by entry, drawing out excerpts of interest that became conversation pieces for 81 various and sundry essays reflecting on my past life and past thoughts.

The essays are short, often very short. They are less challenging than my usual writing, I would say. My purpose was not to advance my personal frontier of philosophy and intellectual thought in 2024, or to reach a niche audience of deep thinkers, but instead to reflect sincerely on some things I've seen along the way and muse upon how my thoughts have changed and stayed the same over twenty years.

I mention this to you because I am a bit worried that anyone who reads this book might think there's not much to me as an author, and might be dissuaded from reading my works of fiction when those books eventually come out, so I'll lampshade that by adding that I wrote this book in two-and-a-half months. Make of that what you will. I told myself I wouldn't self-sabotage the book by needlessly saying negative things about it, and I am proud of it, not only the fact that I finished it at all, let alone so quickly, but of the actual contents too.

This book is "Volume 1" in a hypothetical series, as it doesn't cover the entire twenty years of the journal but only the first four months, from August to November of 2003—at which point the essays had reached "book length" (lol). So really this book is a snapshot of my life in the latter half of 2003. At that time, I was fading out of college due to financial hardship and other issues, and did not realize that I would never (as yet) return.

I have been wanting for years to go back and reread my journal, and writing a book out of it was the perfect impetus to finally do it. I think a few things stand out about the Josh of 2023:

First, my principles have remained remarkably consistent, but my awareness and understanding of the world has grown drastically, and so those same principles have led me over time to some different policy views and worldviews on some things.

Second, I was a 21-year-old arrogant block of cheese, full of hormones and self-conviction, and that definitely shows up at times in ways that I simultaneously am not proud of and yet which I admire for their sheer gall. There is something very magnetic about the old me which doesn't exist anymore.

Third, following up on that point, it was pretty inspiring and encouraging to revisit the old me, with all that native optimism and drive. I don't express those qualities anymore because life has worn me down and also because I have come to recognize that humanity's problems are a lot more stubborn and irremediable than I thought. By glimpsing into the past, I couldn't help but be cheered on by the old Josh's proud, utopian sense of human inevitability. It lifted my own spirits in the here and now!

I made the mistake of announcing the book on Patreon right after I finished writing it, i.e. back in mid-March. Then I had to wring my hands every week about how post-production was taking longer than expected. Between the irritating realities of formatting a book in software not properly equipped to format a book (never write a book in Google Docs), the complexities of my detail-oriented manner and strong vision regarding the cover design (and engaging for the first time ever with modern generative AI, and having to learn those ropes), and sustaining illnesses and other life priorities and so on, it would take me another two months in all to finally reach today, where I can now publicly declare:

The book is done! It is for sale right now. It is called:

Tokens of Zeal: Words from a Vanished Age

(Caption: Book front cover of Tokens of Zeal: Words from a Vanished Age, by Joshua Calars.)

You can buy it through Amazon in either paperback or e-book format. (I recommend the paperback version for aesthetics as it is much truer to my design vision for the book's layout and appearance, but my profit margin is actually a dollar bigger with the e-book version, so really just go with whichever version you prefer.) It is available in the US as well as in basically all the other countries that Amazon has expanded its publishing service into. If you need help finding a link to a particular version, give me a ping and I will point you there (if there is a "there" to be pointed to). This is my second published book, following Prelude to After The Hero in 2015, and the first book to be published in print.

If you do read it, first of all thank you! It's an honor that you would take the time. Second of all, I would love any feedback you care to offer. That's not a platitude either; feedback is hard to come by and I really would be interested in anything you have to say, good or bad. You can e-mail me, DM, reblog this, drop an ask, or tag me in an independent post. Whatever you like! Feedback will help me greatly when I eventually get around to writing Volume 2. And feel free to leave a review on Amazon, whether good or bad (though hopefully you enjoy the book); I am told it pleases The Algorithm. But most of all, if you enjoy the book, tell someone about it! Your word-of-mouth is currently 100 percent of my advertising budget, lol.

That's all. I wrote a book; it took four-and-a-half-months; it's done now; and it's the first time I've ever gotten to hold a book that I wrote in my hands as a physical thing, and that's pretty neat.

[secret-third-thing]

You're a smokehound puppy that's escaped the kennel. Now you just need to find Eris! Navigate this replayable interactive fiction to find your master! Made for @erisweek2023

CLICK TO PLAY HERE ("Optimized" for PC, but playable on moble)

🔥 FEATURES 🔥

3.5 Endings

Name your dog

Forbidden Romance(s)

Pop Culture References

Spooky Things in the Woods

VanStinky?!!

You are a dog and it reads like it <-IMPORTANT

So many glorious typos and errors that I will fix over time!

🦇 Bonus Achievement: Can you find the Smutty Azris Scene?

I made this in about two weeks, which is kinda bonkers. Consider this a warning that this may be buggy!!!. If you run into any game BREAKING issues, just ping me and I can make a fix tonight. There's going to be mistakes, but honestly that's fine. Let's just call it "dog logic." Bark bark! Right?!

Want to know more about how I made this? Read the dev log here <3. If you're interested in making your own, let me know! I am always happy to help!

❤️ SPECIAL THANKS ❤️

First of all, thank you to @lucienforhighking for helping me when I PANICKED over the smut-ish stuff. Definitely not my wheelhouse.

Thanks to all my fellow gamedev friends who completed multiple playtests, my best friend who is a cat person, and @heart-forge, who I owe my sanity to (That restart thing was driving me nuts!)

Also thanks for the folks at @elucienweekofficial (specifically @separatist-apologist and @the-lonelybarricade) for spurring on the new interactive format.

👀 WANT MORE? 👀

If you're interested in more ACOTAR interactive fiction, but want to play from the perspective of a fae, then go here to learn more about Gods We Can Touch: a multi-chapter branching narrative where you are a spy during Amarantha's ball. Will you help the High Lords escape Amarantha's clutches or will you ensure their downfall?

I promise this will be more polished 😉 The prologue/chapter 1 will be released in Q1 of 2024.

[darcytaylor]

pls go touch some grass instead of writing paragraphs of hate towards people who don’t know you exist

Oh honey! If you think anything I have written is centred around hate you haven’t been reading what I have written. 

Have I said that Luke is a terrible actor? No, I’ve actually been vocal about his talents. I tend to compliment him concerning his acting. Especially his facial acting, I think it’s superb.

Have I said that he shouldn’t be dating? No, I’ve actually said he can/should and that if he only handled the whole situation with care he wouldn’t be getting so much backlash. That if it was handled differently (from the beginning) he could be open with Antonia right now. That’s what I wish he would have done, everybody could have been somewhat happy in the end. 

Have I stated that he has made mistakes? Yup, and I think it’s within reason to take note of that. It’s okay to write about situations that are happening in pop culture. Just because someone is in the spotlight doesn’t mean we can’t/shouldn’t say anything negative about them, or state where we see some cracks and issues. Being critical and voicing that is different than being hateful. I find that it can be quite dangerous when people keep getting away with questionable actions (this tends to happen when people stay quiet). 

I think you need to look deep within and realize that people are allowed opinions, and not all of them have to be positive. And even when they are negative it doesn't mean it's hate. If anything it can allow people to take a step back and evaluate. Humans are weird creatures and all of us make mistakes, but once you own up to them that’s when you learn, that’s when you grow. 

What is it that so many people say these days and what a few people have said in my asks? ….oh right, you told me to do this, go touch some grass. ✌️

Oh and I love how you think you know who I am or who knows of me. You have no idea who I am or who knows of me. 😉

Side note: We are on Tumblr. Which is a blog format website. Why wouldn’t I write paragraphs? That’s the whole point of MY blog, I write long drawn out paragraphs. Am I missing something? 

[n3ptoonz]

*ೃ༄ Hello there cutie !! ︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶︶꒦꒷♡꒷꒦︶ ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ May I request a Smutty Kenshi x Stripper Reader? (Fem;Gn) Need an idea? Here ! (PLEADING FOR INCLUDATION OF Wrong usage of sentos handle sorry not sorry) Johnny cage obviously has a hate love relationship with kenshi, and figured.. why not hire a stripper for kenshi? greeatttt idea! Johnny cage is a silly man with silly ideas! why not hire kenshi a stripper for the night? From - ⇢ ˗ˏˋ 💛🦴 ࿐ྂ

this formatting of request is going to plague my mind for at least a week. ask and ye SHALL receive 😽(^_-)-☆ thanks for the extra help, i hope this will be to your liking!

'Beyond Two Souls'

Pairing: Sub!Kenshi Takahashi/F!Stripper!Reader

Fandom: Mortal Kombat 1 (2023)

Warnings: SMUT; EXPLICIT; NASTYYYY inappropriate use of Sento/its handle, kenshi tied to a chair again in a nice house how ironic, technically cuckholdry, cumming untouched, multiple orgasms, rough seggs, FULL NELSON, somebody cleaning this up, sorry if there's any typos/grammar mistakes

Word count: 1.2k

Kenshi wouldn't put much past Johnny, but the very last thing he expected was for his "I'm gonna hire a stripper for you!" statement to make it out the group chat. Even more so that he actually...let you provide him a service he didn't ask for in the first place. The way your hands worked his thighs and the feeling of the lap dance he can only see through the light blue filter of Sento was allowing him to feel a lot less awkward than when you first knocked on his door. He wasn't expecting company so mind his black tank top and gray sweats.

You did a few more routines with the stripper pole you brought in, and you could tell by the way his body twitched ever so gently when your lace panties flashed in front of his face. The same lace panties that are now pulled to the side while this tall light blue spirit fucking up into you holds you firmly in a full nelson.

Kenshi, who is tied to a chair, his mind was running mad. If I told you it was his idea to be cucked by the spirit of his sword, would you believe me? Well, you should. He was getting off more to the squeals and excited moans coming from you due to his indirect actions. He reveled in it. In some way it felt like he could feel through Sento; the very slight phantom feeling of those pretty lips wrapped around his own dick.

Sento got so excited from the feelings Kenshi was having, it surely no issue fucking you out of that cute little lace bra that barely covered anything. You're getting fucked so dumb there's drool falling onto your breasts. What a beautiful sight. Even if it is limited.

Kenshi is a hardworking man who rarely ever puts himself first. He almost never has time to himself. So of course when someone so gorgeous as yourself shows up per his best friend's request since he agrees, he's like fuck it, he needs a break just for a little while. He wants to indulge in the feeling of heightened submission, so what better way to feel that than to watch you have fun with Sento? All the things he would do if he wanted to be dominant in this moment are all going to Sento.

His bodily instincts tell him to pull and tug against his restraints because it wants to be doing you right now, but the sound of you groaning and repeating his name is keeping him at bay. He can feel himself at any moment about to cream his boxers. The look you're giving him paired with a lazy smile into a lip bite...just-

"Shit," he heavily breathed out. He came, as did you--a lot--, leaving a mess of a puddle in front of him. Sento carefully let you down to let you catch your breath and get feeling back into your legs and arms.

When it pulled Kenshi's already cum-stained erection free from his boxers he huffed out a bit from the cool air directly hitting the tip. Sento brought you over to a nearby counter that wasn't far from his view at all, bending you over it so your ass was directly facing him; the sword was in one hand and the other was holding you down as it took the handle and started rubbing you through your prettily soaked panties.

Kenshi was sweating bullets. His dick was lightly throbbing and red from the lack of touch. Just hard as a fucking rock. Your soft pleas and knees buckling were not helping. But this is what he wanted. This is what he needed. He desperately needs to feel you in all capacities but damn it he must not give in. The subtleness of your heels clacking against his wooden floors rang like a soft tune passing by his ears.

Sento paused for a moment just to completely take your underwear off, full exposing you and bringing the cold metal from the handle right back to your folds. You were far more sensitive like this and even came again on contact. You cursed and moaned shakily, taking deep breaths since you basically just came back to back.

You weren't skeptical of this gig whatsoever. Johnny was one of your most trusted clients who ironically only ever asked you for personal services once. Every other time was for someone else just to experience you. You've never really had sex on the job either as it is a rule of yours.

But who's complaining?

This is the peak of your experience. In all your time as a stripper never would you have anticipated a blind swordsman in dire need of him literally cucking himself with his own...spirit...

But who's complaining?!

Sento let go of you so you could stand up--shaky legs and all. It placed the sword against the counter and went back over to Kenshi to untie him finally--and dissipating from existence, its job is done here--; his hands surprisingly didn't lose feeling. He sighed and groaned once he wrapped his warm palm around his shaft.

He just needs one more thing from you.

"Hey, I could pay you extra, just-" he said, but soon to not finish his sentence once he felt your lips against his while at the same time your hand on top of his. Nothing else needed to be said. He stood and hoisted you up into his arms as he walked right on back to that damn counter. No need to worry about the multiple messes you've made, he will happily clean that up later.

He took off his sweat soaked tank once your back laid against the ice cold feeling of the marble beneath you, and when he lined himself up to your entrance you held his face gently.

"Easy, easy," you whispered, and when he easily slid himself inside you, you both let out a long, deep and guttural moan. You latched onto him as he gripped the edge of the counter, letting himself savor the real feeling of your warmth sliding effortlessly against him. He could write a poem about this. From the airy feeling of you and having to live through Sento was all worth it.

Kenshi clung onto the hope of not cumming so fast, but you were so wet he could barely move or else he'd keep slipping out. He would forever have this memory burned into his mind; the cool air pumping throughout his home making his hot sweat all sticky as he thrusted his current stresses away for this point in time. The mixing of your fluids did not go unnoticed with how much louder the squelching became with every thrust.

However all good things had to come to an end. A damn good thing too, but he's not upset at all. He didn't really realize he had this kind of fantasy until tonight. He pulled out just in time, gripping the counter so hard his knuckles turned white. You on the other hand have never came this many times in one night. Truly impressive. Let alone did you think it would be on the job.

He helped you down and kindly offered his shower since a lot just happened in the past hour. Only a fool would decline after taking a good look at the trail of joyful tears. He was still a gentleman who wasn't going to suggest joining you, he had some cleaning to do.

And so he did, with a bright smile on his face.

a/n: OKAYYY i'm pretty much done with old requested fics thank you all so much for your patience, seriously. up next is that li mei fic i promised and it should be out soon hopefully i don't lose all motivation!! thanks for reading, my lovely tooniez <33

[foundry-fabrications]

Happy Halloween everyone! It is with immense pleasure and excitement that I present to you a labor of love, the long awaited rework of Flesh & Bone! Originally, I had intended to release this shortly after the absolutely stellar remake of Dead Space, but that obviously wasn't going to happen. So as to not repeat my last mistake with big projects and arbitrary deadlines, I took things nice and slow, took my time to give this work the true love and attention it deserved. Anything for my beloved Dead Space.

And I couldn't be more pleased with the result! Well, I can always be happier. There's always something I wish I could have added or done differently, but I won't dwell on that. "Don't let perfect be the enemy of done".  But it makes me so happy to see it in its full gorey glory after all this time. But that enough preamble, let's get into the changes from the original!

Being the result of a 3-week mad rush to release on time for Halloween, the original brew has a LOT of problems. I forgot a lot of details and made a lot of mistakes just by the nature of not having enough time to do it justice. Having had, what, 2 years, between now and then has given me a lot of time to hone my skills as a creator and figure out exactly what I wanted to do for the eventual rework.

The first and most obvious thing is the aesthetics. Flesh and Bone was the first time I ever tried to make a Homebrewery theme from scratch, so I had a LOT to learn in a very short timeframe. I got it most of the way there for what I wanted to do, but it still had a lot of issues, namely a lack of integrated stat blocks. Formatting was also just awful. I just couldn't get them to work quite right, and they always looked super off, so I elected for images instead. Since then, I've made my Xenomorph supplement which used that initial test as a starting point, and I was able to fix a lot of the issues I ran into. I also want to change the overall look of the theme itself. When I designed it, I was going for a design mix based on the Dead Space wiki and the holographic UI from the games themselves. The result was...not the most legible. I've taken a new approach with the rework, made everything MUCH more readable, and borrowed heavily from the aesthetics of the 2023 remake.

As for the contents themselves, turns out there were a bunch of really cool necromorph variants that I just completely forgot about like the Twitchers, those reanimator swarms from DS3, and the Ubermorph. With that last one in particular, I reworked the old Hunter into the Regenerator with Hunter and Ubermorph variants, like I have with the Slasher, Spitter, and now Twitcher. In general, most of the necromorph forms were in dire need of reworks up in one way or another, especially their descriptions. I pulled almost all of that text directly from the Dead Space wiki, and it showed real bad. Again, 3 weeks, all panic. All the descriptions have been rewritten to be more in line with my other writing.

I also removed that section at the beginning about the Markers. I originally included it to give context for the rest of the brew, and I just really wanted to talk about the Markers, but the more I looked at it that section honestly added very little to the rest of the brew that couldn't be done in other areas. And let's be real, the Markers are SO IMPORTANT to the Dead Space universe that they really need their own dedicated brew. So, I pulled that section out, and it will go in said dedicated brew another time.

And the final change is I actually included some form of boss necromorph this time! I hadn't planned to, but I started thinking more and more about it, and I was also asked by one of my lovely patrons about it, so I gave in and made stats for really the only Dead Space boss worth talking about: The Hive Mind. I actually had fun writing it, working out its abilities from both the original and the remake, as well as taking some creative liberties and giving it some fun new abilities as a result of it being a Nexus necromorph.

So that's everything! I hope this gruesome creation of mine brings you as much joy and terror as it has to me. Stay safe, stay spooky, don't forget to love each other, and m̵̧̈́ͅa̴̜͑̍ḳ̵̍ë̷͍͇́ ̶̖̾̏u̸̪̅͜s̷͙̟̓ ̷̬̩̒w̸͇͘h̶̠̳͆̽o̶̻̺͂̀l̴̛͍̦e̸̡̡͗. See you next time.

Enjoy my work? Consider leaving me a Tip or supporting me on Patreon! Patrons gain access to high quality PDFs for all of my content, weekly updates, early access, and more!

Want to hang out with other followers and myself, talk about games, and share ideas? Come join my Discord!

[rxcya]

003. 𝗡𝗢𝗩𝗢𝗖𝗔𝗜𝗡𝗘

NOVOCAINE ; SINGLE MUSE ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬ hi! this is my third google doc here on tumblr. after listening to frank ocean for a good 10 hours, i mustered up enough motivation to create this doc for you, novocaine. this is a 6 page doc, including a personality description, personality traits, basic traits, appearance traits, appearance description, a 800+ word backstory, and a connection page with room for 5 connections. please keep in mind that i am new to the whole doc-making scene, and mistakes are bound to happen. if you are struggling with the doc, feel free to dm me; my discord is rxcya#7080 and my tumblr DMs are always open <3. if you do choose to use novocaine, please be sure to keep all the credits. they are located throughout the doc. removal of credits is strictly prohibited. do not claim this doc as your own. novocaine is a free doc, i hope you enjoy!

━━━━━━━━━━ the single muse template, novocaine can be found in this posts source link ・novocaine is not a mobile friendly doc. it includes several google drawings and the formatting is funky on mobile. the first and third pages of this doc include an image with a transparent background. in order to replace these images, utilize this website. it is completely free. ・certain parts of this doc are sensitive, be sure to spot those sections and try not to tamper with them. partial inspiration derived from elisthetics posters. check them out, they're really cool. ・the faceclaim featured is @alexademie on instagram.

likes and reblogs are very very appreciated. thank you for your support <3 remember to contact me if you're having issues with this doc. with all that being said, here is novocaine, a doc by RXCYA. ▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬▬

8.11.23

[fitpacs]

Sorry in advance if I ramble on for too long,

I think that if the server allowed for more chill game play it could have held on a bit longer. I know I'm a bit of an outsider because I got into qsmp much later, but having the players just hang out together on the server is much more entertaining to me than lore heavy streams.

I must say that Fit's lore streams feel different to me, because he created and merged his own story with the server, but ultimately it was his story to tell.

I think the server wanted to do too many big things in a short amount of time, which made people frustrated and exhausted. I also think that there might have been too many cooks in the kitchen, without a proper headchef. No proper guide or story book.

Personally, even though I absolutely love the little eggs running around causing mayhem and emotional damage, having them actually hatch into "dragons" could have solved many issues regarding their time management. Once they hatched, they could have just popped up whenever they wanted, instead of needing to be online every time a parent was on the server.

It would also have cut back on trying to make up lore for the eggs.

Long story short, having the players just hang out on the island and make up stories for themselves if they wanted to, build beautiful things, share each other's culture and holidays and if it had cut back a lot on lore it would probably have made qsmp last longer.

🐝 Anon ❤️

do not apologise, my sweet bee anon!

i completely agree with you when you say the server wanted to do too many things in a short amount of time. we never really got the chance to appreciate any of the events (the ones that were only for a day, such as festa junina etc) because the higher ups were already pushing the next upcoming event onto us - and i completely agree that it would have frustrated and exhausted people!

if i remember correctly, even before everything went to shit, multiple ccs that hadn’t logged on for a while felt almost afraid to because there was so much lore going on with the more active players and it kind of turned them off of wanting to join more often, which is the complete opposite of what the server set out to do. the idea was to join multiple languages and cultures altogether in one space, and in the timeframe of a few months it ended up only being the same select group of creators who logged on daily or every other day who had intertwining lore (with a few notable exceptions).

i firmly believe the eggs were originally introduced to fix that issue, and to give the less active creators more of a reason to log on, but when the egg lore started developing, that idea was kind of dampened greatly.

and none of this is the fault of the admins, obviously! some of them by their own admission had great fun with their egg lore, but we of course all know the darker side where due to the lore of other creators/the server’s lore with the federation, they were pushed if not forced to adopt multiple personas by the higher ups - which obviously would take a toll on anyone, and weren’t allowed breaks or time away, which we all know is fucked up and is a prime example of how the hunger for lore ended up being a huge detriment

i think we’re all in agreement that one of the biggest mistakes was whoever was in charge, and the fact it wasn’t someone that had the best interests of the server, audience, and staff at heart - this is also on q’s own admission.

for me personally, the format of the shelter smp (made by former staff from our server) is a really good balance of lore and chill gameplay - any of the members can join at any time and not feel like they’re behind at all - the fact that the server is also made by staff of the server proves more of that point as that’s obviously how they wanted to run our server, if they were allowed freedom over their (multiple) characters

and it’s not even as if the ccs didn’t have chemistry so wouldn’t be able to play without lore - this was proven in the occasional chill non-lore days, as well as the times we got other games with them such as the among us lobby that time and the fact they still continue to play games together! i just wonder if the ccs were, to an extent, told something by the higher ups also - obviously something much nicer than whatever the admins were told!

the eggs, as much as i adore them, did end up being as much of a detriment to the server as much as a blessing. because of how frequently the eggs logged on (again, due to the pressure from the higher ups) the audience and the ccs alike of course got accustomed very quickly to each egg admin’s style of acting and writing on the signs - and the server got so dependent on the eggs it was at the cost of the admins’ free time in that they didn’t have any.

i’m always in two minds as to if the server would’ve lasted longer if there was less dependency on lore - because would the exposing of the higher ups have happened as soon as it did if the admins weren’t so overworked? i honestly don’t know, my mind flip-flops on it.

sorry for rambling back at you, my sweet, i just miss our server more than anything :(

[miaoniuu]

There is an organized network of groomers who have been operating in plain sight for over a decade on 4chan. There has been one confirmed murder, many confirmed s*xual exploitations and two potential drug related deaths. I don’t know where to talk about this anymore. I am so scared for these girls.

I made a post on Reddit about a network of groomers that exist on Discord, Endchan and 4chan and have been operating in the open for over a decade and it has been a whirlwind. 3 posts highly upvoted and subsequently removed, multiple death threats of course, and some participants saying conflicting things. Psyops, outrage, emotional contagion, politics, this one really has it all apparently.

I’m going to send you the formatted post below directly because, again, this post is being removed very fast over and over despite the intense attention and concern.

There are girls actively in danger.

——————————————————

There is an organized network of groomers who have been operating in plain sight for over a decade on 4chan. There has been one confirmed murder, many confirmed sexual exploitations and two potential drug related deaths. I don’t know where to talk about this anymore. I am so scared for these girls.

I could write a million paragraphs like I have done for years but I’m just tired, and nothing has ever come from it. No matter how many documents and and all the direct evidence I provide, it seems that this isn’t really an issue people care about, but I am not ever going to give up on these girls.

A lot of these girls are from broken homes and deal with poverty, mental illness, previous child grooming or molestation and the circle of predators knows this well, because they recognize patterns in posting from those types of disadvantaged minors and they hunt them down accordingly.

Here is the first thing you need to see. These are the current girls being targeted. Two of them are minors.

I have reported this to MissingKids, to ISPs, relevant local authorities, I have tried getting in touch with parents, I’ve tried sending this to content creators, I have exhausted every tool I have and my mental fortitude is limited. It feels like nobody cares.

From here on out, I’m listing three names of the most egregious cases, posting archives and I will do small descriptions but I don’t even know what I can say anymore at this point. It all feels so pointless at times. Some of these girls have been cyberstalked and doxxed for nearly a decade, starting when they were minors.

Ciara “Eliza” Horan - possible OD death, possibly in hiding. Whatever the truth is, does not want to be found. Please respect that. Has ties to Jet Neptune which is relevant in the next description. Her underage nudes were leaked regularly.

Relevant image: Ciara & Jet + obituary

Marky J Thompson - groomed by Sam Hyde, a public figure who committed statutory r*pe against her. When she came out to the public with this, he launched a smear campaign making derogatory and disgusting sexual skits about her on YouTube. Her underage nudes have been leaked countless times. Jet Neptune is a long time friend, a technical producer, and basically the shadow of Sam Hyde. You’ll never hear about Jet without Sam being mentioned along with it. Marky and Ciara were on and off friends. Jet and Sam are directly linked to both.

Relevant image 「EXTREME NSFW WARNING」: tr*nsphobia, ab*se, r*pe, r*cism, extensive vulgarity (I did not make this, it was written and compiled by someone on Twitter

Bianca Devins - I don’t want to spend too much time on this one and I have no need to link or compile because it is just horribly depressing and on top of that, it’s public enough to learn most of what needs to be learned on your own. There is still an active smear campaign against her happening despite her being dead.

orbiters - predatory individuals who mistake a controlling obsession with something poetic like limerence.

/r9k/ - revived instance of 4chan’s original Robot9000 board, where every post had to be an original post.

Endchan - dedicated board pertaining to 4chan’s e-girls, both active and past, alive and deceased.

I have archived the entire Endchan board, updated as of today. I have downloaded the files in case of deletion as well. I’m working on a timeline and organized document. I will be archiving and downloading every post I make to document any and all deletions and takedowns, and expanding more on this post as time goes on.

You can find the current version of the archived board here. Extreme NSFW, very long + trigger warning.

[nav-i-nav]

My thoughts on OMORI and its message

I feel like I should talk about the impact OMORI had on me as a whole and recent posts made the thoughts I had after finishing the game for the first time come back, so here we go!

Remember this is my own interpretation, so don't take anything I say as the irrefutable truth! Likewise, feel free to add anything I might've missed in either tags or reblogs! I love hearing about other people's interpretations of the game!

Lastly, please forgive me if something I write isn't clear or easy to understand, I just needed to get this out of my system, so apologies for any typos/formatting issues ヽ(*。>Д<)o゜!!!

TL;DR: OMORI is a complex game about acceptance and choosing to move forward, and how the choices you make will influence the path ahead of you.

There are two routes the player can choose to follow during OMORI, as well as three endings you can reach based on those choices. The true route (which can lead you to either the good ending or the bad ending) and the hikkikomori route (which leads to the neutral ending).

As I've stated in previous posts, I firmly believe this game is not about "unconditional love" or "always forgiving"; rather, it's about not running away from your mistakes and confronting, accepting, and moving past them.

The hikkikomori route

One thing I've seen a lot of people do is disregard the fact that Sunny completely forgot about Mari's death. Yes, even if Headspace Basil or Stranger remember, and even if Something is a constant "reminder" of the truth, Sunny does NOT remember this UNTIL the day before he moves away, which in turn leads to him looking for Basil and thus, this resulting on a fight breaking out between the two of them which lead us to the hospital, where we choose one final time.

We know the cycle and resetting of Headspace has happened AT LEAST four times before the events we see in the game thanks to this dialogue found right before the Black Space segment of the game.

What we don't know is if Sunny actually remembered the truth during those instances or if Omori managed to put a stop to it. Personally, I like to believe this is the case. Why, you ask? Simple. I like to believe the hikkikomori route is but another one of these cycles.

Nothing special happens, nothing that alters Sunny's routine. Sure he is going to move away, but he still chooses to isolate himself in his house and wait until that day, doing nothing but the occasional chore and sleeping. He doesn't open the door for Kel, there are no external stimuli that indicate something is wrong and the ones that are already present inside the house have been blocked (the piano room, the closet, the backyard). And so, there is no reason for Sunny to question anything. There's no reason to accept or forgive anything.

To Sunny, Headspace is real. To Sunny, the truth is that his name is Omori and that he goes on all sorts of adventures with his friends while his dear sister stays behind. This is the truth he's accepted for four years, the life he's taken on and the life he'll continue to live should he not open the door.

Sunny has forgotten himself. He cannot accept the truth or forgive himself because of this. Daddy Longlegs confirms this thanks to the following dialogue:

Not only that, but Sunny also starts seeing himself as Omori in the mirror at the end of the hikkikomori route, which only solidifies the fact he has lost himself at this point and has given in to the safety of Headspace.

Lastly, let's not forget one of the biggest differences between the true and hikkikomori routes—the "boss" fight. Whereas in the true route, it's Omori, in the hikkikomori one, it's Stranger.

Something really interesting is the change of Stranger's dialogue between the true and hikkikomori routes. Here is the dialogue during and after the fight we have against him:

There is a distinct aggression that Stranger lacks in the true route. Stranger is the embodiment of everything Sunny wishes to forget. No matter how hard he tries to separate Basil from the incident, the truth is that he will always be linked to Mari's death one way or another, and, as Daddy Longlegs says:

However, even if Sunny didn't open the door, the fact he is moving away remains. We know this causes Sunny some sort of uncertainty and discomfort, as seen by the "Time" area in Black Space. Sunny is aware something will change and that causes him anguish. It's both figuratively and literally, a timer. To leave and forget or to step outside and find out the truth.

The reason Stranger is the final "boss" of the hikkikomori route is precisely because he is the last obstacle Sunny must "overcome" before he's able to fully forget himself. He is moving away and he's chosen to go with it, to let go of the past forever and completely abandon his identity as Sunny to embrace Omori fully.

Stranger, of course, knows that Sunny has chosen to turn a blind eye to the truth, so as a last attempt, he forces him to face him, to confront everything he's run from, and try to snap him out of it. But by this point, Sunny has given up all hope. He refuses to accept the truth, he refuses to see the pain and suffering his actions have caused, and so, Stranger backs off. Because he knows that at this point Sunny is far too gone.

The true route

With that out of the way, let's focus now on what is canonically considered the true route of the game. We all know what happens: Sunny opens the door and steps out of his house for the first time in years, which leads him to reconnect and mend relationships with old friends and make new ones, all within the span of three days until he moves away.

This is already a huge difference to the alternate route, as he actively interacts with all sorts of people and environments, allowing him to explore the real world and reconnect with it again. Of course, Headspace's influence is still present (as seen by the Headspace imagery that we can see around Faraway on the first day we go outside), however as time goes on, these disappear and instead Sunny starts remembering memories he had buried deep underneath the vibrant colors and fantastical aura of his dreams.

We all know this, so why am I bringing it up?

Thanks to all the stimuli that he's being exposed to, Sunny is able to remember more and more of what happens. He can no longer run away because Mari's death is a fact that he is constantly being reminded of by the world around him. Little by little he pieces what happened back together right until the sleepover he has with everyone else at Basil's house.

During three days, Sunny begins remembering who he is, and although Omori is him, he is not Omori. He is not as strong as him, nor is he able to ignore his fears like his counterpart. Just like the branch coral dialogue indicates:

Omori can mimic a human, but Sunny will never be an empty husk. His human nature remains above all and that is precisely why he can only run for so long. One way or another, Sunny must confront his mistakes and choose.

He can still run away by not opening the door on the second day, he can still escape during the sleepover by choosing not to save Basil, but by this point, he's already faced with the truth.

Now, let's talk about Basil and Sunny's fight. Although Sunny realizes Mari's dead, he doesn't learn the full truth until after Black Space. Again, one of the main things that distinguishes these routes is what happens with Stranger after we've explored this area. The main difference is that, unlike in the hikkikomori route, in the true route, Sunny knows that he has people he can count on. He knows he is not alone, as stated by Stranger:

Sunny is no longer isolating himself. He can finally see that people care about him and that he counts with them. This is reinforced by Hero, Kel, and Aubrey's dialogues right before the fight with Omori:

As well as Basil's before Sunny enters his house for the last time>

Both of these scenes happen right before Sunny takes the initiative to confront and accept what he's done. The difference between the true and the hikkikomori routes is the fact Sunny is no longer alone and he trusts that he'll have his friends by his side until the very end.

And then, we reach the final moment. The final decision.

Just like how Stranger was the final boss for the alternate route, we stand before Omori, who readies his blade as he blocks your path. Sunny has learned the truth, he has seen what he's done and now he has to fight. To prove that he is ready to move on.

Omori has been Sunny's shield for so long. So now Sunny must show Omori he is ready to let go and be himself.

This is the difference between the journeys we go through on each route.

The reason I believe that the hikkikomori route ends with a “neutral” ending is because Sunny never faced the truth. He didn’t even try to do so, instead choosing to hide away and forget, rejecting the idea that Mari died once again. Whereas in the true ending and the bad ending, he accepts this fact and embraces it. He sees the incident once again and remembers the role he had in everything that happened over the course of four years. And then he chooses if he wants to move forward or not.

Let's look at the cutscenes that play after the fights with Stranger and Omori respectively. (I will be using the good ending cutscene for the true route):

One of my favorite things about these is the fact that in the Hikkikomori route Sunny is still submerged in the darkness of Black Space. He is still blinded and therefore he can't see those who still care for him, those who cheer on him and wish him to move on. Instead, all he sees is Omori, because that's all he's known for four years. He is the only one who's been able to provide comfort to him because he won't let anyone else inside.

This changes during the true route, and regardless of what happens in the fight, one thing is clear: Sunny has accepted the truth. He is no longer blind to what happened, and he has finally come to terms with it. Only then does he decide if he wants to take the next step forward or not.

My thoughts

If you've read this far, thank you! Now, you must be wondering what does all of that have to do with the game's message. Well, I'll get to that.

First, I want to make one thing clear. I firmly believe Sunny's journey is not one of forgiveness but of acceptance.

Sunny's been stuck in an endless loop for roughly four years. All he's done is relive the same stories and go over the same path again, just as the following dialogue shows:

He will never be able to move forward unless he accepts the truth. What's done is done, and no matter how many times Headspace is reset, Sunny will never be able to undo it.

This is why the hikkikomori route is a neutral ending compared to the bad ending, even if the outcome is considered worse but most of the fanbase. Because in the hikkikomori route, Sunny never took a step forward. Nothing changed. Meanwhile, in the bad ending, Sunny knows what he's done and he chooses to take his own life as a response. He took a step forward but didn't have the courage to take the next one.

This leads to the last ending. In the good ending, Sunny takes two steps forward instead of one.

In the secret cutscene for the true route's good ending, when Sunny and Basil’s Somethings disappear, it isn’t their guilt or their regret. Rather, it’s the delusions (both literally and figuratively) that have blinded them for so long, the delusions that made them unable to move on. And now they can finally see past them and find each other.

They can finally accept that YES, Sunny killed Mari, and YES, both of them hurt the rest of their friends AND each other with their actions.

That’s the first step for them to heal.

But it’s definitely not the last one.

Trauma doesn’t go away so easily. And sure, life will be rough for a while. But at least they’re LIVING. They finally see things for what they are, and they are able to move past them and try to forgive themselves.

Maybe they won’t forgive themselves. And their trauma is never going to go away. But at least they’re no longer trapped in a lie and can choose what they want to do with their lives.

This is why, to me, OMORI is not about forgiveness. The story never shows Hero, Kel and Aubrey's reactions to the truth because this isn't what the game wants to focus on. Sunny's journey is for him to accept the truth and come to terms with it. But it's not the only journey we see along the way. Take Aubrey for example. She too came to terms with her actions towards Basil during those four years, and although there is not a conclusive ending to this, we see how she realizes her actions weren't justified no matter how hurt she was and she chooses to try and make amends.

Choices are extremely important in Omori. Sure, we can choose if we want to run away from an enemy or fight it, we can choose if we want to buy an item or not, we can choose to play the minigames or do the side quests we get along the way. But at the end of the day, the choices we make determine the future of the characters.

By opening that door, we can see the different outcomes of the story. And to me, that is just how real life is. We don't know what will happen in the future, we don't know if we are going to hurt others or if we'll regret our actions once everything's over, but what's important is to have the courage to make those decisions in the first place, the courage to accept when we're wrong and then choose to move forward or not.

Omori has taught me that making mistakes does not equal you being a terrible person. It is your choice to learn from those mistakes and improve. No matter what, you must have faith in yourself and those around you, and know that even if you didn't make the "right" choice, you can learn from it and you can become a better person thanks to it.

And I think that's beautiful.

[queer-ragnelle]

Hi! Your flowchart is amazing, and I'm so excited by the literature list you made. However, I was wondering if you know which book is best to start reading more about Arthurian legend? I have only collected knowledge through osmosis, so I have no clue where or how to start learning more. Thank you for your time and have a nice day!

hello!

thank you, i'm glad they're helpful for you! i did answer a similar ask about what medieval texts to begin with here and link to free resources, but the formatting is hard on the eyes, and now that my own collection is available, i'll reiterate. all suggested translations are available on my blog.

le morte d'arthur by sir thomas malory: you'll get the most mileage out of this book as malory sourced a broad spectrum of stories to incorporate them into a single text, which includes arthur's conception, pulling the sword from the stone, receiving excalibur from the lady of the lake, marrying to guinevere, young gawain's knighting and first quest, tristan and isolde's romance, the grail quest, final battle at camlann etc. plus malory himself invented some of the most iconic stories, such as gareth's time as the kitchen boy, beaumains. with this book alone, the majority of retellings will make sense to you. but be warned it can be extremely dry (and confusing timeline wise, calogrenant dies twice bc malory couldn't keep his own story straight!), i recommend the keith baines translation as it's rewritten into prose like a novel.

the vulgate cycle: it's 10 books. i know it's 10 books. but it's simply the best. the truncated nature of malory's le morte d'arthur leaves the majority of characters reduced to singular traits (orkney bros the mindless killers, priggish grail knights etc.) which has negatively influenced many retellings since imo. this is not an issue with the vulgate where everyone has a little more nuance and depth, even the bad guys, but especially the characters we're supposed to root for like lancelot and gawain. many fun characters who were cut from le morte d'arthur are fully developed here like half-giant galehaut and gawain's baby mama the lady of lys. i'm putting it high on the list bc i simply think more people should try it. i recommend the translation edited by norris j. lacy. he's incredible and i love all of his translation work. footnotes right in the margin will remind the reader of past references and explain language subtleties lost in translation (like puns) or indicate what was changed for ease of understanding (sometimes the scribes made mistakes and named the wrong character, which lacy will fix and then note he fixed). so if one can get past the sheer volume of text, it's a wonderful read, and i even have specific stories within it i could recommend. but i digress...

sir gawain and the green knight: it goes without saying this poem is iconic. the pearl poet (as the anonymous author is called) wrote beautifully and the version of gawain here is a much kinder portrayal than what he appears in the post vulgate, which was a major source for malory's le morte d'arthur. the beheading exchange/game is the focus here, although this motif will appear in many other texts, such as perlesvaus, and the sgatgk story appears in the majority of retellings that include gawain, so it's a must read. i recommend the j. r. r. tolkien translation (the audiobook version of this translation is phenomenal, like music).

four arthurian romances + the story of the grail by chrétien de troyes: except you can skip cligés bc its mediocre at best. really what you'll need from this is knight of the cart (the first ever story in which lancelot appears and he's very pathetic and weepy and insane and lovable haters dni), knight with the lion (gawain's cousin yvain gets a pet lion, fights a dragon, gets married, gets divorced, goes mad, recovers, gets married again...), erec and enide (worst husband in the universe), and the story of the grail (perceval and gawain adventures). a version of these stories were adapted into le morte d'arthur and the vulgate (except for yvain's lion which is a bummer!). i recommend the nigel bryant translation of perceval and william kibler translations for the rest. when you reach the end of the story of the grail and it cuts mid-sentence...well, sadly we don't know what happened to poor chrétien that kept him from completing his story. but there are four continuations written by other people, plus the german parzival is great as well (and has one of my favorite of gawain's wives, the haughty maiden of logres, orgeluse).

the mabinogion: some of the same stories as chrétien but of welsh origin plus extras. haters will try to pit two bad bitches against each other, but these texts go hand in hand. i like the whimsical vibes of this version and the magical powers given to the characters, such as kay's ability to grow to the size of a tree and set things on fire with his hands or bedwyr's ability to strike faster than all other knights despite having only one hand. it also gives owain (welsh version of yvain) an army of ravens that kill people in addition to his lion, arthur has an invisibility mantle (also referenced in the welsh triads), and the whole gang fights the demon boar twrch trwyth to steal the golden comb off his head. good stuff. i recommend the translation by lady charlotte guest.

the wedding of sir gawain and dame ragnelle: obviously this has to be included. i'm biased but at the same time, it is supposed that sir thomas malory actually wrote this poem! which i think is pretty neat. additionally, 99% of retellings include ragnelle as gawain's wife. in fact, excluding the ones in which he doesn't have a partner at all, i can only think of one in which he marries someone else. dame ragnelle is the people's darling, all of us arthurian authors agreed that in spite of our differing opinions about everything else in the stories, she is the wife of all time. and we're right. a thing of beauty. this text does not have a translation, it's just in middle english, which can be challenging to read. this version edited by thomas hahn has footnotes to help or otherwise i recommend the version retold by selina hastings and illustrated by juan wijngaard, it's gorgeous, and includes all the fun supporting cast like kay and guinevere.

this was a long list with probably more explanation than necessary but it can be difficult to narrow down a single place to begin with arthuriana as each story builds on the literary tradition that came before. everyone is sharing and influencing one another so stories and motifs are repeated, each author writes for their time, slightly altering the technology and culture to reflect their own lived experience, so the narrative evolved as the centuries passed into what we have today. thanks for this ask and hope you enjoy reading!