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the-eclectic-wonderer · 2 months ago

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Hi everyone. Do you remember the Golden Girls script book I bought a few months ago?

At the time I only shared a few comments about the introduction, but it (obviously) contains the scripts to some episodes, and I'd like to use one of these now as a prop to talk about one of my favourite episodes in the entire series: S5E19 72 Hours. Specifically, what I'd like to do is analyze the way Blanche and Dorothy (and, to a lesser extent, Sophia) support and comfort Rose through her ordeal in this episode: what works, what doesn't, and why. Join me if you'd like -- under the cut!

Alright, let's get down to it. If you're reading this, chances are you already know the gist of the episode: Rose takes an HIV test because of a blood transfusion that she got after a gallbladder removal operation, and has to endure a nerve-wracking three-day (i.e. 72-hour) wait to get the results.

This is a groundbreaking episode under many points of view (especially for the time it was made), but many people have already talked about its treatment of the subject matter, and I have nothing of substance to add on it. What I'm going to do instead is go through every scene with a fine-toothed comb and analyze everything Dorothy and Blanche do to (try and) keep Rose up as the wait takes a toll on her mental health.

A little note: I'm going to supplement the analysis by pointing out important quotes or adding the transcript of certain lines from the book, but I still suggest either watching the episode before you read this or watching along with the text -- it will just make more sense.

Act 1, Scene 1

So! Scene 1 begins with the introduction of the B-plot, Dorothy's trouble with organizing a successful fundraiser for a 'Save the Wetlands' initiative. She's 'in over her head', and so when Rose enters the kitchen with the mail in tow she asks for her help, confident that she'll have it. Rose, however, refuses:

I'm sorry, Dorothy. [...] I have charity work burnout, Dorothy. In the last three months I have helped with so many raffles and bake sales and car washes, I have to draw the line.

This is important because it gives us information about Rose's mental state prior to the actual issue of the episode. This is one of the rare times when we see Rose refuse to help anyone, and especially one of her friends. A big theme for her character is that she's always up and about, even when she should take a rest (see S7E23/24 for proof), so this tells us that she's really exhausted going into this episode. She specifically talks about having burnout, so she's not just physically exhausted, but mentally exhausted as well; she's reached the end of her rope. It's true that she talks about having charity work burnout, but considering how prevalent charity work is in Rose's life, it's safe to assume she's probably not doing too well in general.

With this out of the way, Rose opens the letter that kicks plot line A into motion, and we get our first clear example of how well Blanche and Dorothy know Rose and how effective they are at helping her. Blanche notices very quickly that something is not right, basically as soon as Rose opens her letter; she asks:

What is it, Rose? Is something wrong?

i.e. she's paying enough close attention to Rose to notice that she's a) engrossed in said letter, and b) confused/worried about it. Dorothy is focused on her on mail, but also snaps to attention as soon as Blanche points out that there's a problem.

Rose explains the situation, and -- as is her custom -- Dorothy offers to help. It's interesting to me that here, despite Rose's naive comment, Dorothy doesn't respond with sarcasm:

(Apologies for the handwriting; the transcription of my comments is in the alt text.)

She's patient (or, well, just barely irritated) and immediately clarifies. This is actually a pattern in the entire episode: no matter how many times Rose gives one of her naive comments, not even when she tells one of her St Olaf stories, Blanche and Dorothy never react with sarcasm. They clearly understand that this is weighing on Rose, and although taking digs at each other is a big part of how they all show their affection, joking about what she says feels somewhat out of place in this instance. (I have a special appreciation for how easily Rose hands Dorothy the letter. This is a medical matter regarding a surgery: it's private information! But Rose trusts Dorothy so much that she shares with her without hesitation and she trusts her to explain what's going on in a way she'll understand).

Dorothy reads the letter and identifies the problem: the hospital might have given Rose HIV-infected blood. I really love how Bea Arthur delivered her line here: she stumbles a little as she realizes the meaning of the letter, which makes sense, because Dorothy is scared. The situation is somewhat better nowadays, but for the general public at the time, an AIDS diagnosis was synonymous with grave illness and death (as Rose will remind us in a moment). No wonder Dorothy is worried -- but she catches herself immediately, because she knows that Rose is going to panic (which she does), and she needs to be calm and collected for her. The gravity of the situation is not lost on any of them: Blanche also turns to Rose as soon as she hears the words, to gauge her reaction.

Rose works through what the letter means, is understandably shocked and scared, and then we get this exchange:

Dorothy and Blanche immediately team up to reassure Rose, and the way they do it shows how well they know her. Dorothy is comforting and rational; she downplays the danger for Rose, putting it in perspective -- they're just taking a precaution. Blanche also reassures Rose ('Everything'll be fine') and she turns the danger from something Rose approaches as her problem alone ('What do I do?') to a group effort ('We just call up the hospital...'), signaling that she and Dorothy are with Rose every step of the way. She then pivots the subject away from the test and towards a joint activity: planning Dorothy's fundraiser. The final joke re-introduces a note of levity on which the scene ends.

I love this exchange. Dorothy and Blanche do and say all the right things: they comfort Rose, taking something that feels like a blade over her head and turning it into something much smaller -- a precaution, an appointment. Rose needs to know that they're with her to support her, so they assure her that they'll take all the necessary steps together. Rose often takes her mind off things by being active and helpful to others, and she enjoys spending quality time with the two of them, so they turn to a shared activity that allows her to use her energy for actual good: planning the fundraiser. The final joke is just the cherry on top. It's clear that Dorothy and Blanche know Rose very well and deeply care about her, and thanks to this they effectively defuse the situation; however, this conversation already contains the seeds of the problem they're overlooking, the problem that will continue to plague Rose until she finally explodes, much later in the episode.

Act 1, Scene 2

We notice this problem even more clearly in scene 2. The first half of the scene is centered around the B-plot, so I'm going to jump straight over it and directly to Rose's entrance. She comes into the scene ready to go out for her blood test, and asks if anyone wants to accompany her. This is the exchange that follows:

Ok, there's a lot to unpack here; let's take it one step at a time. Rose is clearly terrified by this test, and depressed at the thought that she'll have to stay away from her friends (and Miles, although this is the only mention of him in the entire episode...) if the results come back positive. She's so anxious -- hell, she's ready to get to the lab three hours early! The other girls obviously notice this and use some of their previous strategies to help -- Blanche is almost outraged at the idea of Rose facing this thing on her own (seriously, listen to her tone when she asks 'What does that mean?'), Dorothy reaffirms that they're going to be by her side no matter what, and once again tries to put the enormity of the situation back in proportion ('You're just going for a test'). Even Sophia gives a hand in this instance, trying to comfort Rose by bringing up a similar experience she lived through (although that turns out to be a setup for a joke).

I've also noted down that there's lots of physical comfort in this scene (hugging, arm/hand holding). Although this is a constant in the entire show, it feels poignant to point out because, at the time of airing, there was a general prejudice against even touching people with AIDS. In fact, Lady Diana (Princess of Wales) made history in 1987 by shaking the hand of an AIDS patient without gloves. 72 Hours aired in 1990, so a few years later, but I'm pretty sure the general public's idea of AIDS (and, in universe, Rose's perception of it) hadn't changed that much since 1987. By purposefully comforting her with physical contact, Blanche and Dorothy communicate that they're with her in a way that's familiar (since physical affection is so common, in their household), but also a clear message that they're going to stay by her side no matter what the results show.

This is all good stuff, of course -- but I did say that we start seeing the problem clearly in this scene, and I wasn't lying. For one thing, this is when the cracks start to appear; when Dorothy downplays the gravity of the problem, Rose answers with:

It's not just a test, Dorothy.

This is something that will come up later, and will bring about Rose's eventual breakdown. Dorothy and Blanche have done their best in these two scenes to moderate the gravity of the situation, which is, in and of itself, both understandable and effective (in the short term). They're trying to be reassuring, and their intentions are admirable -- but the truth is that Rose's situation is terrifying. AIDS is more manageable nowadays, but it's still a hell of an illness; it requires life-long treatment and there is still neither a cure for it nor a vaccine against it. HIV is a formidable enemy, and back in 1990 it was a relatively unknown formidable enemy, which brought with itself not only disease and death, but also public condemnation: Rose is right to be so scared! And since she is, while a bit of putting things in perspective is useful (it did help her in scene 1), the fact that Dorothy and Blanche keep trying to downplay the danger unsurprisingly gets on her nerves.

However, and this is the crux of the matter, I don't think this is the actual problem here. Sure, minimizing the issue is a bit of a misstep on Dorothy's part (and on Blanche's later on), but that's not really why Rose ends up breaking down later. There's a more fundamental disconnect that comes from the fact that Dorothy and Blanche have a different perception of what AIDS is and what it means from Rose. To be more specific:

Blanche and Dorothy know that that being HIV-positive is dangerous, they know that if Rose's test is positive they'll have lots of adjustments to make and they'll likely go through hard times. They are worried, of course, very aware of the implications, but ultimately they view AIDS as a disease and only a disease.

Rose is obviously worried about the practical aspects of the disease (she's the one who reminds us, later in the episode, that it might kill her), but ultimately to her a positive result would be a moral failure. In her mind, AIDS is something that happens to bad people, and if she is positive to HIV, that will change her worth as a person.

I know this is not an easy idea to consider. It might even feel out of character for Rose: she's welcoming, warm, accepting, and she grows out of the more judgey sides of her personality fairly quickly in the show. But the fact is that she does struggle with this kind of thing at times, even in later seasons; see for example how she acts with Clayton in S4E22 Scared Straight: she's not judgemental of him, but she can't even say the word homosexual out loud! She can be influenced by society in this kind of way, even though she generally ends up examining her prejudices and settling on acceptance and understanding.

This is one of those cases. Look at what she says:

I might as well get used to being by myself. [...] If that test turns out to be positive, you're not going to want to be around me. You or Miles or anybody.

She's buying into the mainstream idea of AIDS patients in society at her time: if the test turns out to be positive, she's going to be shunned by everyone, and in particular by the people she loves the most. Blanche and Dorothy tell her, repeatedly, that they'll be by her side no matter what, but she can't believe them, because she has a very specific idea of what being HIV-positive means and acceptance from her friends doesn't fit into it. She's not just scared of the disease; she's convinced that her friends will see a positive result as the moral condemnation she believes it to be. This is the underlying issue that drives her reactions, and this is why Blanche and Dorothy can't really connect with her on a deep level until much later in the episode, when the problem comes to light.

Act 1, Scene 3

With all this in mind, let's move on to Scene 3. Rose goes to take her test with Dorothy, Blanche, and (although she only appears later) Sophia in tow. Their entrance is already interesting from the lens we're using; Rose is clearly wary and intimidated (she later calls the place/process creepy), but Dorothy and Blanche are keeping guard, too. Specifically, Dorothy enters the place looking around, trying to get a feel for it, while Blanche turns her attention on Rose, gauging her reactions. I felt like I was watching two knights escort a princess through a dangerous road!

Rose tells the counter lady about her appointment (notice how she lowers her voice when she says 'AIDS'), and she gives Dorothy's name to maintain her anonymity. Dorothy has a visibly annoyed reaction, but she doesn't complain; instead, she and Blanche sit down on either side of Rose to wait with her. Rose is rattled, but the girls are by her side, and Blanche acts especially comforting, while still remarking on the hardships of HIV-positive people (which certainly doesn't help Rose's nerves):

After this exchange, Rose pivots straight to a St Olaf story. This makes a lot of sense for her (we know she interprets the world around her through a St Olaf lens), and it's especially significant if we adopt the headcanon that Rose is autistic: it seems to me that she's trying to self-soothe by turning to her special interest (although I'm not autistic myself, so I invite any autistic readers to give their take on this). As I mentioned before, neither Dorothy nor Blanche respond sarcastically to this; Dorothy even tries to meet her where she is with her answer:

It's a scary story, Rose.

Unfortunately, this is not enough to calm Rose. Her anxiety starts to get the better of her again (and no wonder; that wait must be nerve-wracking!), and so Blanche decides to intervene. She gently takes Rose aside and reveals that she has also been tested in the past, although she's kept it to herself all this time. This is an incredible show of courage, love, and trust on Blanche's part (we know she tends to keep this kind of sensitive information to herself, and this is information that could potentially impact her social status too, so it's especially notable that she chooses to reveal it!), and it's a good way to calm Rose down. It's what Sophia was trying to do at the end of Scene 2; Blanche explains that she can relate to what Rose is feeling, because she's been through it before, and she knows it's hard:

[...] I want you to know -- I got tested, too. So I know what you're going through. [...] I just wanted you to know I understand this is not an easy time.

This is, it turns out, effective enough. Rose is immensely relieved by this revelation: she's still anxious, of course, but it's clear that she feels reassured, knowing that Blanche also went through her same experience and came out on top.

At this point, Rose gets called into the test room. Blanche is right beside her and offers to go in with her (I love it when she calls the girls darling -- how sweet!), and there's a little thing here that's not easy to notice, but that really pulls on my heartstrings: Rose touches Dorothy's shoulder as she walks by (and Dorothy turns her head to watch her go inside). It's very quick, but so meaningful!

The rest of the scene focuses on Dorothy and Sophia giving the audience an important lesson in how crucial education is when it comes to AIDS and sexual activity in general -- in their own, humorous way, of course. I just want to point out a little thing here, and that is that Dorothy is looking through pamphlets as she waits. She might have seemed a bit disconnected from the scene before, but she was actually looking for information through the material she had available: she was trying to gain a better understanding of the situation, which is a very Dorothy thing to do, and a more subtle but still very sweet show of support towards Rose.

Act 1, Scene 4

In the final scene of Act 1, we check in on Rose and Blanche right after the test. Blanche is very, very sweet in this entire little scene; she 'wish[es] [she] knew what to say to make [Rose] feel better', and she tries to suggest that things aren't as dire as Rose's mind makes them seem in the moment.

The doctor comes back in and we get the piece of information that titles the episode: Rose won't get her to know her status immediately, because there's a three-day delay between the test and the results. I feel like the fact that Rose didn't know this prior to the test is a major blunder on the hospital's part, and a bit of a misstep on Blanche's: she's been through this before, so she knew the results would take time, and it would have been wiser to check if Rose knew as well. Still, I think we can forgive her for it; it's possible that the process was different where she was tested, and otherwise she likely assumed that Rose had been told all the details, and perhaps didn't want to throw salt in the wound by pointing out the wait time (since Rose was already so anxious about her appointment). The hospital is more at fault here: this is important information, that can seriously impact the mental health of a patient! The doctor very clearly expected Rose to know, so we can assume this is information the patients are supposed to be told before the test; it's impossible to know where the miscommunication occurred, but it was quite the disservice towards poor Rose. If we want to extend a little grace, we can suppose that they're overworked and overwhelmed, and it somehow escaped their notice -- the height of the AIDS epidemic was really hard on clinics and hospitals.

In any case, Rose is seriously upset by the news (and no wonder!). She looks back at Blanche a couple of times as she tries to understand what's going on, and she addresses her directly at the end of the scene:

[...] There's plenty I can do. Like sit around the house for the next seventy-two hours, scared to death he's going to tell me I have something that's gonna kill me. How am I going to do that, Blanche? How am I going to get through the next three days?

Blanche, to her credit, tries her best to reassure her ('Honey, I guess there's not really much you can do', as in: 'I know it's terrible, but working yourself into a panic isn't going to help you'), however the news are just too much for Rose to handle. She runs out of the room, and Blanche hurries after her, thanking the doctor as she goes (which is very sweet: she tags in for Rose when she's not in the right conditions to exercise her usual kindness). Note that Blanche also takes care of Rose's coat and purse, in a small act of service that is very sweet and domestic.

Act 2, Scene 1

With the main conflict of the episode finally on the table, we move on to Act 2, and meet the Girls back in their kitchen on the following morning. For the third time in this episode, Rose enters the scene a few lines after the other girls; she's surprisingly active and energetic, almost her usual upbeat self (although the attentive eye will notice that there's something going on under her apparently cheerful behaviour). Blanche asks her where she was, so early in the morning, and she answers:

Well, I couldn't sleep, so I went for a spin last night -- to Alabama. Blanche, do you know at a truck stop in Tuscaloosa they have an egg dish named after you?

Now, the idea that Rose took a round-trip to Tuscaloosa, Alabama in one night is, well... physically unlikely. Google Maps estimates a trip from Miami to Tuscaloosa and back to take about 24 hours, which is definitely longer than a single night, and longer than the time elapsed since Rose's test; she later claims she still has '52 hours to kill', implying that only 20 hours have gone by since the end of Act 1. This declaration is most likely just hyperbole on the writers' part (not to mention a way to set up one of my favourite jokes in the series -- that 'over easy' has me in stitches every time); however, the meaning they want to convey is clear. Rose is so anxious that not only she can't sleep, but she has to use all that excess nervous energy somehow, and so she takes a ridiculously long trip in a ridiculously short time, implying that she drove like a madwoman the entire way (she even had the time to take a break at a truck stop in Tuscaloosa...). This manic behaviour is a common response to a period of stressful wait; the body doesn't know where to direct all the excess anxious energy, and so we start doing ridiculous stuff, just to keep ourselves occupied and to avoid thinking about what's troubling us.

Obviously, Rose's fake cheer doesn't fool the other girls:

I find it interesting that Rose is exhibiting some behaviours that are usually the prerogative of her roommates: denial (she's fine! she's never felt better! she's not even going to get her results!) and deflection (she took a spin! she saw an egg dish named after Blanche! look at all the stuff for the celebrity auction!). From someone as in-touch with her emotions as Rose is, this behaviour feels uncanny; the viewers can immediately tell that this situation is taking a big toll on her mental health. Sophia and Dorothy try to get her to open up, but they have little success; Rose is too anchored to the cheery front she's using as a shield. Instead, she redirects her anger and fear on the celebrity auction: she gets irrationally furious about a missing item, despite Dorothy's invites to keep her cool and Sophia's attempt at a bit of humour. The situation is defused (or, more appropriately, the tension is brought back to manageable levels) when Blanche invites Rose out for lunch and a movie.

We've already seen bits and pieces of this in Act 1, but this scene is where it becomes evident that the girls' usual methods for supporting and comforting Rose aren't working anymore. On the surface, they do a lot of good things: they don't believe her bravado and ask how she really feels, Dorothy tries to ground her by rationalizing the situation, Sophia attempts a bit of shock-value humour (come on, you don't really believe slapping Dorothy was a mistake -- or gratuitous violence?), Blanche offers to share some quality time. They're all under a lot of stress, and so it's natural that they make some small mistakes (for one, the term 'hysterical' likely doesn't help in defusing the situation), but overall, by the metric they've set in the episode thus far, they do a pretty good job.

And yet, it doesn't work. Rose doesn't calm down one instant all throughout the scene; she's hyper at the beginning and furious at the end. Even when she accepts Blanche's invite, she does so angrily. I'm guessing the lack of sleep doesn't help in keeping her cool, but still, there's a complete lack of connection between Rose and the other girls, and that is because they still haven't tackled the root of the problem. And they won't for a little while more -- things are going to get worse, before they get better.

Act 2, Scene 2

This scene involves only Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia, so I won't spend too much time on it. I only want to point out how Dorothy and Blanche put their money where their mouths are: they strongly oppose Sophia's irrational behaviour, calling it for what it is -- ignorant paranoia. I really like this quote from Blanche:

Well, Sophia, I'm afraid you're just going to have to get over that.

I love the words, and I love the matter-of-fact tone she uses. Obviously they're going to stay with Rose no matter what happens. Obviously they're not going to treat her any differently even if her test is positive. Deep down, Sophia thinks so too; she just needs a little more time to get over her prejudices -- but I love how defensive Dorothy and Blanche are of Rose, and how clear their position is on the matter.

Act 2, Scene 3

Okay, this is the big one, folks! This scene has been quoted everywhere ever since it aired, and for good reason. Blanche gives Rose, and the general public through her, a big lesson in what AIDS is and how wrong the prejudices against HIV-positive people are.

In the lens we're using, this is the moment when things finally start working properly again between the girls. This is the scene where Rose's internal hang-ups about AIDS come to light, allowing Blanche to challenge them, and thus re-opening the effective communication channels between the girls.

Since it's so pivotal, I'm going to share the entire transcript. Let's take it from the top:

Blanche enters the kitchen and finds a dejected Rose at the table. Note that Rose says she is kicking herself for... not being able to see into the future, essentially? All she did was have an operation: it wasn't her responsibility nor her prerogative to ensure the safety of the transfusion she was given. She has nothing to kick herself for -- but she still does, because, once again, being HIV-positive is synonymous with being a moral failure to her, and so if the test is positive it goes without saying that is must be her fault, for not staying safe enough.

I'm sure you'll agree with me that the way she faults herself is nonsensical and unfair, and deep down she feels so too, because as soon as Blanche tries to soothe her ('Take it easy', which she's heard quite a lot in the previous few days), she explodes. And she is right to, at first: as she articulates very well, she's scared out of her wits, she is threatened by something that might kill her, and in their attempts to support her through it Blanche and Dorothy have been downplaying the problem. They don't mean to -- they're not trying to shut Rose up or invalidate her feelings; it's clear that they get the gravity of the situation, they're just trying to help her keep a cool head through it -- but after almost three days of being told to 'take it easy' whenever she expresses any anger or fear, it's no wonder Rose is at the end of her rope.

Blanche recognizes so too, and she apologizes for it, but at this point Rose cannot hold herself back anymore. She keeps venting and finally reveals what exactly has been plaguing her ever since the beginning:

Why me, Blanche? [...] Damn it, why is this happening to me? I mean, this isn't supposed to happen to people like me. You must have gone to bed with hundreds of men and all I had was one innocent operation.

There it is. Asking 'why me?' while facing hardships is pretty common, but this is not a 'why me, of all the people on the world'; this is a 'why me, when this isn't supposed to happen to people like me'. In Rose's mind, AIDS is something that happens to people who live a completely different life from hers; people like Blanche, who go to bed with hundreds of partners, or worse. It's the monster in the closet of those who live... dangerously, let's say. Why does she have to deal with it, when she's a good person who just had an innocent operation?

I'm sure, if she thought about it with a clearer mind, she'd figure out that her position makes no sense, but let's remember: she was already exhausted at the beginning of the episode, she got a horrible and unexpected piece of news, she's been anxious and terrified for days. She's not in her right mind, and she needs someone to point it out. Fortunately, Blanche is exactly the right person to do so.

The scene moves to the living room, and Rose keeps hammering the point. Of course she's not saying that Blanche should be in her position instead: Blanche is her dear friend, she doesn't want her to suffer -- what she's saying between the lines is that it would make more sense to her if their positions were reversed, because of their respective lifestyles. She is a good person, a goody-two-shoes! She's so clearly exasperated by the disconnect: remember, this isn't supposed to happen to people like her.

And in response, Blanche delivers one of the most important lines in the whole show:

AIDS is not a bad person's disease, Rose. It is not God punishing people for their sins.

What a line. Rue McClanahan really understood the assignment with this delivery (as if she ever doesn't...). She knows this statement holds a metric ton of gravitas and she delivers it accordingly; with the way she's glaring at Rose, I wouldn't be surprised if she burned a few holes through the cameras. I think it lands especially well because of how sweet and gentle Blanche has been in this episode, up to this point: she's been very affectionate and comforting and understanding towards Rose, so when she snaps, it feels particularly poignant.

And Rose gets it. Someone, someone she loves and trusts, has finally confronted her on her deep-seated ideas about AIDS, and it's so clear in the way Betty White's posture and expression change (she also understood her assignment -- God, what a marvelous cast this show has!) that Blanche's words have moved something within Rose. The nervous energy is knocked right out of her: there's a palpable release of tension in the way her shoulders slump and her hands relax. With just one line, Blanche has managed to demolish the base notion she's held all throughout this episode: that AIDS is something that happens to bad people, and that as a consequence she is a bad person if she's HIV-positive. Now that she's free from this assumption, she's also in a better position to accept the other Girls' love and support, as we will see soon.

I'm not surprised that Rose's mind changes so quickly. As opposed to most people's bigoted positions, hers is a remarkably coherent one. Bigots tend to have a set of rules for themselves, and maybe their loved ones, and another set of rules for others: I've read so many stories of conservative women who rally against the right to abortion but had an abortion themselves, because 'it's different' in their case. People who hold bigoted ideas (and this includes all of us, at some point or another in our lives) often lack the ability to understand that they're not the exception, they're the rule, when it comes to this kind of thing: every person who has an abortion is a special case, every person who immigrates is a special case, etc etc. There are no special cases because everyone is a special case. Rose doesn't share this hypocrisy: her discomfort comes from the fact that she holds herself to the same rules as everyone else, and these rules say that AIDS = bad person (and she thinks of herself as a good person, hence the disconnect -- and the frustration: it doesn't fit with her worldview!). When Blanche points out that the rule is false, she's essentially flipping a switch in Rose's mind, turning the rule from right to wrong, and that changes Rose's perception of it: AIDS is not a moral failure anymore, but a disease, as dangerous as it is.

This doesn't solve everything, of course. Rose is still facing a nerve-wracking wait with days of exhaustion and tension on her shoulders, so naturally she's still anxious. But this was, as she says, 'what [she] want[s]', and also what she needs, I'd argue. She can now truly appreciate her roommates' support, and face the rest of the wait with a clearer mind, as we will see soon.

(As a side note -- Blanche's glorious eye roll when she says 'real bitch'? It's everything to me. God, I love her.)

Act 2, Scene 4

Here we have another scene without Rose. Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia take a moment to discuss the situation and renew their conviction. Dorothy has been so worried for Rose in the entire episode and she still is now ('These three days are killing Rose'), and Blanche reaffirms their support out loud:

Sophia is the star of this little segment: we watch her grow out of her prejudices, overcome her fear, and finally commit to her support of Rose. I'm not sure if it's intentional, but Blanche chose her words wisely here; appeals to familial values always work well with Sophia, and she's often the one who underlines the importance of being there for one's family to others:

She's family. If you can't count on family, who the hell can you count on? [S1E4: The Transplant] Hey, it's Blanche's grandson. We do for family. [S1E6: On Golden Girls] Don't turn your back on your mother, Rebecca. Don't let your little girl grow up without a grandmother. I'm 85, and I still cherish all the memories that I had with mine. [S6E20: Even Grandmas Get The Blues]

Perhaps Blanche's reminder that they are Rose's family is what finally knocks Sophia onto the right track; in any case, she's as on board as Dorothy and Blanche are now. They're prepared to support Rose as the wait comes to an end, and they're prepared to take care of her no matter what comes after.

Act 2, Scene 5

This is one of my favourite scenes in the whole show, and the reason why I decided to embark on this analysis, so you will forgive me if I get a bit emotional.

The scene begins with Rose laying on a lawn chair in the lanai. Dorothy enters from the house, and they begin talking about Dorothy's issues with the fundraiser. Note how different Rose is from how we've seen her until this point: she's still scared and anxious (she's 'trying to put in a good word' with God), but she lacks the anger and frustration she felt in the previous days. This is what I was talking about earlier: she's not completely okay, of course, but opening up about her deep thoughts and being confronted by Blanche about them did her wonders. She's facing the future with a much calmer attitude and a clearer mind now.

This, in turn, allows Dorothy's support to come through. We see once again how good Dorothy is at reading Rose's emotions and figuring out what might help her: she initially refuses to talk about the fundraiser with her (which makes sense; Rose has a lot on her plate already), but she accepts at Rose's insistence -- which shows that she listens to her wants, and she knows that putting her energy to good use is one of the methods Rose uses to work through anxiety.

They chat a bit about wetlands, and then we get to the part that makes me sob like a baby. Rose shares a little St Olaf anecdote, and Dorothy doesn't joke about it. Not just that: she listens, she smiles, she pats Rose's arm, and she takes her seriously, to the point where she uses her story as a jumping point to talk about their common problems with groups. And this is yet another perfect move: Dorothy gets Rose to laugh. To actually, really laugh. I love how you can see the wheels turning in her head when she says 'You know, it sounds like we both have a little trouble with groups': we can tell that she's found an angle, a way to ease some tension off Rose's shoulders. Her tone sounds similar to the tone she has when she finds her footing in her stand-up comedy segment in S5E9 Comedy Of Errors: she's found the starting point for a hilarious story.

Rose's chuckle is the confirmation that she's right, and so she goes full out. Notice how she laughs, full belly laughs; how happy she looks; how she keeps holding Rose's hand tight as they joke. She's helping Rose release some tension, and she's conveying (both with her body language and with their shared laughter) that she's here for her; that she's by her side, and she'll keep staying by her side.

This works so beautifully that Rose doesn't only laugh along, but she feels comfortable and safe enough to be completely vulnerable:

Oh, that felt good. It's been a bad week.

Rose is the one in the cast who has the healthiest relationship with vulnerability, I feel, but this is still an important admission. Betty's delivery is amazing: the way the phrase almost tumbles off her tongue, how simple and yet full of meaning it is... I love it. And note that Rose is able to accept Dorothy's attempts to make her laugh on one side, and ask for her support in this way on another, only because of her previous exchange with Blanche! Now that her prejudices on AIDS have been shattered, she can communicate with her girls (laugh with them, ask for their support) as she always does, and Dorothy's comfort is much more effective as a result.

On her part, Dorothy has the perfect response:

It'll get better.

Just that: it'll get better. This is an acknowledgement of the truth in what Rose is saying (there's a 'yes, and' implied at the beginning), and a statement of hope. You're right, the past few days have been hard, but it won't last forever. Rose is often the one who keeps the girls up, who gives them hope and never stops fighting; watching this brief inversion of roles warms my heart. And Rose believes Dorothy: she makes a face as if to say 'I don't know', but if this had happened earlier in the episode, she would have outright denied it, or even stormed out of the room. She's come a long way.

Act 2, Scene 6

This brings us to the final scene in the episode. I find it interesting that this is the first (and only) time when Rose appears on the screen at the same time as Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia: in the rest of the episode either she comes into an already established scene, or someone comes into the scene to find her. This might be a case of 'the curtains were just blue', but I like to think that this symbolizes her growth in this episode: she has overcome her internal hang-ups, and so she's fully on the same page as her roommates now, ready to accept their support no matter what the test results show.

There's a couple of small interesting elements before the good news, here. Dorothy and Blanche show their support in the form of attention -- they're basically pending from Rose's lips; as is her fashion, Sophia uses humour to cover a genuine beautiful statement:

Your future's going to be filled with nothing but joy and laughter.

The doctor then comes in and tells them the good news: Rose's test is negative! Dorothy's happiness is especially heartwarming to me -- as is her patience in helping Rose understand what's going on. Rose can finally relax; her relief is so palpable that even the doctor doesn't insist in offering counseling when she tells him she feels great:

Well, evidently, you had all the emotional support you needed.

And she did. She really did, and she's aware of it, to the point where she asked Dorothy, Blanche, and Sophia to accompany her inside to hear the results. And they all share her relief, of course: we get smiles, happy faces, hugs and arm touches, all the usual works. Rose is so overjoyed that she can't even imagine going back home to rest; she'd much rather stay with her girls and go have a nice time at the fundraiser they somehow managed to organize (although it seems like Sophia forgot to stuff the invitations...). It's a true happy ending, and Rose managed to reach it thanks to the support and affection of her girls, as she herself says:

Oh, he's right. You guys were terrific! Thank you for being there for me, and thank you for making me feel you'd always be there for me, no matter what happened.

Whew! That was a long one, ha. If you've reached this point, a heartfelt thank you to you for staying with me until the end. Go have a cookie, my treat. :)

I really adore this episode, and spending some time with it was a real joy. I hope this was as fun for you to read as it was fun for me to write. Thank you once again, and I hope you have a lovely day!

#this is. more than 7000 words. heavens #seems like i had a lot to say on the subject lmao #there is just so much to talk about! i know i probably over-analyzed some stuff here #but between the writing and the acting choices there's a whole lot to consider #blanche in this episode has my heart. she's so sweet and gentle and affectionate and ahhh #and that scene between dorothy and rose... one of my big big favs makes me tear up every time #anyway! i hope you enjoyed and if you have any thoughts about this do let me know #ta-ta for now! hugs and kisses to you all #the golden girls #writing #tgg script book

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maehemthemisfit · 1 year ago

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mae my favourite person on this whole planet who should have definitely burnt the house down by now !! aaah sometimes i don’t even know where to start? you’ve done a lot for me recently even if you didn’t intend to. i was going through such a rough patch and i was losing all my strength and wasn’t sure if i wanted to keep going. you was one of the very few people who actually checked in on me and showed concern. you listened to me and then proceeded to let me fangirl about the auroras and even after that conversation i cried happy tears because it felt so good to have someone listen to me the way you did - so thank you, especially for checking on me. i think if you hadn’t things would be very different right now.

and also my favourite detective from the dango anon evidence board !! you are so unbelievably funny and smart, i’m also head over heels for your writing, whenever i see it on my dash i just want to eat and consume it <3 you made me feel seen regarding a previous situation when i thought that i would look like a bitch when i confided in you about it and if it wasn’t for you and aly i think i’d still be in that situation today and making myself miserable.

i hope you had a fantastic birthday, little sis but your house does terrify me - 💙

STORMIKFRDMME OFFICALLY CRYING RN JMDNMRUJ YALL I- THIS- EURUFRJDEKM I just wanna hug alll of you and never let go

EUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#no like m actually sobbing #HAPPY TEARS #HOUSE: BURNT HOTEL: TRIVAGO #you can always reach out to me without the fear of being judged or invalidated #whether if you want advice or just want someone to listen i will be here and help you to the best of my ability #and if you don't have the strenght to reach out ill reach out for you. all you have to do is grab my hand #im glad you felt better after talking- honestly i was scared i wasn't helping at all #but reading this really put my heart at ease #ALSO THE DANGO ANON CASE WAS SO FUN #I woke up early just to solve it 🤭#having everyone work together and point fingers and and!!#it really help me grow comfortable with everyone there #and i gained a lot of friends from it too <3 you being the first to give me that warm welcome #thank you again for the birthday wishes and i hope things has been getting better for you 💖💖💖 love you #its literally so late for you and you're writing me these heart clenching messages ahhhhhsahs #hugging you hugging you #my arms hurt from typing ahhh #this just djuyerhhd #gives me life #im glad my friendship has done so much for people- even if we're all far apart

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datastate · 2 years ago

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i think in every adaptation i’m going to cry at soichiro being unable to come to terms with the fact his child could possibly be kira, and that if it was true despite everything that he’d rather die with him then and there. his responsibility, his love, trust...

#literally trying to wipe my face clear of tears without getting cat hair in it rn #jestersvaguely #dn posting #idk ahhh i'm watching the drama rn and i of course am kind of :raisedbrow: at some story choices & i might mention my critiques later #but the bit where he fell to his knees and hugged light... i'm inconsolable.

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atryoshka · 7 months ago

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@buckevantommy plssss the brainworms you just gave me omg

everyone at harbour is stoked about bucktommy because it means they get to hear all the insane drama from the 118 without having to worry about getting mixed up with it.

#AHHH these tagsss 😭🥺#you read my mind bc i was thinking how cool it would be for tommy to get a chance to hang out like old times!!#esp since he admitted how much he wanted to be a part of the 118's lil fam #and he left for harbor just as they were really starting to connect #but i love how you included buck there too and it makes it feel even more comforting and full of good vibes #tommy was always lowkey and a bit guarded in the past but now when he's sitting back and listening #he feels free and content and can fully soak in all the good energy #knowing he's accepted as he is by everyone there #and buck fully in his element telling these crazy stories with his 118 family adding their takes #feeling freer than ever bc he doesn't have to worry about being too much #bc there's smiles all around him and everytime he catches tommy's eyes #his bf is giving him his full attention with soft eyes and a cheeky grin that buck cant help but preen at #and yeah when the stories are not so great tommy offers comfort with a steady grounding touch #and he's not scared off bc he gets it but even more surprisingly to everyone who knew tommy before harbor #he starts opening up more too when his days are bad #when in the past he might have found a way to divert attention with his dark humor before buying the next round of shots to help them forge #now he feels safe enough with this strange group of trouble magnets to actually let them see how much a bad call gets to him #and how they always manage to get him smiling again #especially when buck panicked the first time and impulsively tackle hugged him and chim shouted 'DOGGY PILE!!'#prompting everyone else to jump on him too until the tears that spilled were from laughing so hard #bc at some point maddie had pulled a waiter aside and told them it was tommy's birthday (it wasnt)#and there was a conga line waitstaff holding a sparkling cupcake singing 'happy birthday timmy!'#and buck is cracking up with his face smushed into tommy's neck while hen and chim make a dive for the cupcake #and it feels like the home he's always wanted

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cheriladycl01 · 11 months ago

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Best Secret Santa - The Grid x Driver! Reader

Plot: in which everyone wants to have Y/N as their secret Santa because she is the best gift giver and never fails to make peoples day by going above and beyond for it!

2017

“So Y/N this is the first year of Secret Santa, how excited are you!�� The F1 interviewer asks!

“I’m so excited! I love gift gifting it’s one of my love languages to show people that I know them, and I listen to them!”

“Okay are you ready to open your gift then?” She asks pushing forward a small bag that had presents wrapped up very nicely inside. You take the bag and look at the wrapping paper, it was well wrapped and good quality.

You open the first which feels as if it could be a wooden box but doesn’t really indicate what it could be.

You see that you were correct and a wooden box with your favourite paint brand is there on the top. You unclip the clasp that’s holding the lid down seeing the various paints.

“Oh this is a good present, but not many people know that I paint on the grid.

“Who knows you paint in the grid?” She asks you.

“Hmmm Romain Grosjean, K Mag, Kimi”

“So do you think it could be one of them?”

“Maybe… potentially Kimi, he knows me very well and has really helped me as a Red Bull Junior Driver and in my Rookie Year this Year”

“I think if you open the second present you’ll know who your secret Santa is” she explains and you take the second present of the table, it was pretty weighty but not as heavy as the paints.

“This feels like a book, like a hard back” you say as you start to tear into it. And it was, it was the Romain Grosjean book.

“It’s Romain!! He’s my Secret Santa?” You look at the F1 with a massive wide grin making her smile back at her!

“Wait, come with me” she becons the lady and camera crew to follow her. She walks through the building they are all in, in Abu Dhabi until she finds Romain.

“Romain, Romain wait up wait up” you shout running after him making the camera crew follow!

“Ahhh i see you received my gift!” He exclaims and she pulls him into a thankful hug.

“Please can you sigh it Mr Grosjean, I’m a huge fan of your work in Haas!” You exclaim, handing him a pen making him chuckle but still sign the book he gifted to you!

“Thank you for you time” you giggle before the cameras cut, and they decide to do Romains secret Santa while he is there.

*Flip*

“And now we are here with Lewis Hamilton who we’ve interrupted from getting ready for his Mercedes After Party for his 4 time world championship” the F1 lady smiles at Lewis Hamilton and he kindly smiles back.

“So your Secret Santa went all out, we’ve had to set the cameras a little further back and you’ve got some sizeable gifts here but they requested you read the card first”

“Holy shit” Lewis says as they start to bring in a huge box (big enough to fit the likes of Toto Wolff inside) followed by a smaller bag to the left that had three neatly wrapped presents inside.

“Who, what the fuck” Lewis says looking at the camera as if he was on the office. He looks at the F1 presenter who just shrugs her shoulders and waits for him to open the card.

“Dear Lewis, Here are 4 gifts to commemorate your 4 World Championships! Have a great winter season, and here’s to many more championships ahead! Love, Your Secret Santa” he reads seeing the little doodles inside the card.

“Any ideas on who it could be” she asks.

“No clue, everyone on the grid would know how many championships I’ve won, so this doesn’t give away much” he offers with a laugh. He grabs the bag wanting to leave the big present till last.

“Ohhh a Vegan Cook book, so they know I’m Vegan and a Japan Fridge Magnet. Okay so this is either Max or Y/N as they shared a podium with me, I’m sure off it!” He grins before taking the next present out the bag.

“What is this” he says unwrapping a rather small but oddly shaped present.

“Oh that’s so cute it’s a Dog Collar for Roscoe! Wait, holy shit it’s personalised from Dior. Surely this can’t be Max, is it Max?” He asks and the F1 presenter just shrugs.

“Thank you, this honestly is very thoughtful as Roscoe is one of my favourite things and I love the brand and wear it all the time!” He grins.

“Okay, how about we attempt to open this bigger present. I don’t actually know how you’ll get this through customs”

“I’m scared to see what it is” Lewis laughs before tearing the box open. Inside is a surfboard that is hand painted on either side with Lewis car and many other little doddles to cover the board that has something to do with Lewis.

“Oh woah a custom made board, this must have been really expensive to have made” he says observing it before picking out all the different doodles and talking about them.

“It’s not custom made, your Secret Santa actually Hand Painted this themselves” Lewis head snaps away from the board to look at the presenter in shock.

“Oh it’s got to be Y/N”

“That is correct”

“Y/N you are the cutest. I will use this board today here in Abu Dhabi before I make good use of it in the off season! I’ve never actually had anything like this before so thank you so much, you are so very thoughtful and you have the kindest soul! Thank you for everything and I hope to share a podium with you in 2018” he smiles grinning before turning his attention back to the surfboard.

2018

“Hello Y/N it is now November 2018, after the final Grand Prix of the 2018 season. So you know what time that is!” The F1 presenter asks.

“SECRET SANTA!” You scream, pulling forward the presents, there was a medium sized box in front of you.

“Can I start”

“Of course”

You pulled the lid of the box off and immediately gasp at the first thing that isn’t wrapped that you can see what it is!

“Oh my lord, how - I’ve been needing new camera lenses and a case for mine! I take pictures of everyone around the paddock! So it could be anyone, but I was talking to Max, Pierre and Dani about needing new lenses …” you admit looking to see if the F1 presenter would give you a reactionary hint.

“Oh and there’s a small envelope. I hope you enjoy this retreat with your new lenses, maybe gain a new perspective before 2019” you read out before out of the envelope you pull out flight tickets, and a small cabin hotel booking confirmation for Italy.

“No no no stop this is too much” you say tears filling up in your eyes.

“Who do you think it is” the F1 presenter asks.

“It’s Dani Ric” you cry, the words coming out strained as you look around to see if he is watching you.

“How’d you know” she asks.

“Because we had a talk about how I felt shit about this season and that the Torro Rosso wasn’t built well this year. And how him leaving Red Bull wasn’t an easy choice but it was one he had to make” you sob. The presenter comes over and pull you into a comforting hug rubbing your back and you hug into her more.

“Hey Squirt” an Australian accent comes from behind you and you fling yourself off the presenter and turn to look at the reason for your tears.

“You made me cry on camera” you say pointing to the camera and then your gifts.

“Aw I’m glad you like them! I was worried I hadn’t done well enough!” He grins rubbing your head before pulling you into a tight hug.

“I love them! And I’ll do better next year for you! I promise” you smile and he grins back at you!

*Flip*

“Hello Charles, how are you!”

“I am very good thank you. I see that there is a lot of presents here, all varying in size and it worries me. This is my first year and I don’t know many people that well!” He says looking between all the presents.

“Well here’s the card that came with it” she says passing over the red envelope that he opens the second his gets his hands on it.

“Dear Charlie, hmmm there’s not many that call me Charlie. Amazing first year in Alfa Romeo, can’t wait to see what you do in Ferrari” he reads out thinking of who it could be.

“It’s Y/N for sure. Between the amount of presents here and the note saying Charlie it must be her!” He exclaims before tearing into his first present. There were Alfa Romeo socks, with little jelly snake candies.

“Ah to remember my time in Alfa Romeo, these Candies actually look so good! Thank you!” He says observing the candies.

“This box is small, but heavy” he observes before pulling out a watch box.

“Oh my god, it’s a Ferrari watch. Look at this beauty! I will wear this now I think” He offers showing the camera the Ferrari official watch you’d got him. He places it on his wrist, looking at it before grinning and showing the camera.

“Okay this next one looks very very big, and oh it’s super heavy. I don’t even think I can lift that up”

He starts to tear off the paper, showing a cardboard box with a stamp on top, of what Charles assumed to be the place she’d got it from.

“Antiques Auction House? What is that?” He asks not knowing.

“It’s a place you bid to get rare objects” the F1 presenter grins and Charles looks up in shock. He carefully takes the tape off the lid and pulls the heavy hunk of metal out of the box. He pulls down the bubble wrap to reveal a Ferrari paddock sign.

“Is this real?” He gasps looking it over.

“Yes, maybe take a look at the race it’s from and the year” the presenter asks pushing him to look at the front a little closer.

“Monza 1996, that’s the year I was born! This gift, is so thoughtful and I will put it in my apartment where my sim is so everyone is able to see it when they come over! Hopefully this will bring me luck in Ferrari and in Monza next year so thank you Y/N”

He picks up the next gift which is small and flimsy. He immediately thinks it’s clothing.

As he tears open he holds up the t-shirt bursting out laughing looking at both sides.

On the front it was a radio from his that year printed on saying “woHooooo, Oh Yes! That feels good! - France 2018” and on the back there were words that were printed on there saying “Ask me what happened in France 2018” as a funny sexual innuendo from how crude the radio has sounded with no context behind it!

“This is hilarious and Y/N never fails with these joke gifts. That’s something I’ve noticed, I know this has only been done 2 years now but last year she had two jokey gifts for Lewis and 2 really nice thoughtful ones. This year I have similar! She’s a really good gift giver! She goes above and beyond!”

“She really does! I always get excited, just to see what Y/N gets her Secret Santa each year!”

“I think after this, if they didn’t before, everyone wants her as their gift giver!”

“Okay last gift Charles”

He open up to see a plastic CD cover, decorated by Y/N. He opens it up seeing a note inside.

“For when you finally record something on the piano” he looks up at the presenter and he shows her the cute cover the artistic grid member has designed.

“This is beautiful and I will fill it with tracks I will share with you Y/N thank you again and Merry Christmas Cheri!” He grins.

Y/N definitely spend over her own private budget this secret Santa but she couldn’t help having a small crush on the Alfa Romeo, future Ferrari boy.

2019

“Y/N, you know it’s my favourite time of the year just because you are here serving us once again with your amazing and seemingly limitless gift giving skills. I do have to ask how did you get that Monza pit board”

“Well, my dad is good friends with a Motorsport enthusiast, who has an auction house for Motorsports and Cars, and I won it in August, and was going to give it to Charles as an end or year well done/ Christmas present, but when I got him for secret Santa it made sense to put it in his gifts” you explain.

“Amazing okay so here are you presents for the 2019 season!”

“Oh my gosh I know who this is already! It’s K Mag” you exclaims seeing the pottery set! You’d been saying to him how you wanted to start getting into pottery and how you’d just brought one of the proper stoves to bake them in.

“We spoke about this before, and of course this Metallica Funko Pop would have given it away if the pottery didn’t! Omg I can’t wait to make you and your wife a vase! Thank you so much! I will bring it with me at the start of next season!” You exclaim looking in awe at the two presents in front of you!

*Flip*

“Lance Stroll, I think this year might be your lucky year, you’ve got a decent size bag with three presents” the presenter says cheerfully making Lance smile back.

“I’m excited to see what’s been brought for me! Okay first one obviously we have to open the card and see the message.

“Dear Lance, Starting as rookies together was so much fun! Beating you was even better! Oh it’s either Y/N or Gasly, we all had our rookie year together in 2017!” He exclaims before pulling out the first present which was another envelope.

“You know this is gonna be a voucher of some kind or like, a this was supposed to be your present but it’s not here. What could it be!” He asks opening it up.

“Tennis lessons … WITH ANDY MURRAY? It’s gotta be Y/N right? They are both from the UK, and I’m guessing someone she knows him? How the hell does she know him?” He laughs, he was really into tennis, if he ever had to quit motorsport he would got to tennis as his secondary option.

“This is amazing, thank you Y/N” he smiles genuinely.

“I think him and Y/N were invited to meet the Queen. She wanted to meet Y/N for breaking records around women in motorsport. They’ve played tennis together and she’s driven him round Aintree in her Lamborghini”

“Woah that’s crazy, so they are like friends? Well thank you Y/N and Andy watch out coz I’m coming for you!” He says as he reaches for the next present which is very badly wrapped.

“I think this just be the joke present she gets alongside her good ones” he says shaking it nothing giving away what it could be. He rips it open, to find a mug and a bottle of maple syrup!

“Ah yes as a true Canadian, maple is necessary! And oh a mug”

“Turn it round Lance, what does it say?” Laughs the presenter not actually knowing this was one of the presents.

“It says Daddies Little Boy” he laughs, knowing the joke in the paddock that he wouldn’t ever loose his seat in F1 until he no longer wanted to race.

“That’s hilarious, thank you Y/N I’ll be sure to show my dad this one. Okay onto the last”

He opens it up seeing a James Bond Limited Edition, signed Car from the movies in a mini form.

“It’s so funny, me and Y/N have arguments about this all the time. So they basically got her in Casino Royale as a stunt driver for one scene as she looks like Eva Green from the back. So she will always say that Casino Royale is the best Bond film, but I disagree I think it’s Quantum of Solace! Thank you Y/N for all of this! I can’t wait for my Tennis lessons!”

2020

“What a year it’s been with this virus Y/N and what a stressful year it has been for you drivers. However you’ve had some amazing drives, you had your first win this year with the new name for Toro Rosso under AlphaTauri! And we couldn’t be happier for you. But, your moving up the ranks aren’t you!” The presenter grins happily.

“Yes as of 2021 I will stay in the Red Bull family but move alongside Max into the Red Bull Racing Honda team!” You exclaim! You were so happy to have been given the chance and had worked your but of last year in AlphaTauri coming P5 in the drivers championship. Christian Horner came to you and offered you the seat as you’d done better in the Tauri than Alex in the Red Bull.

“This is just amazing news for you Y/N and we are excited to see what you can do alongside Max Verstappen in 2021!”

“Okay here are you presents for this year!” She says, you pull your mask up a little as it had dropped down as you were talking it repositioning it up and in the correct way.

“These feel like drinks?” You question as you shake the box, when you peel it down you burst out laughing at the crate of Red Bulls in front of you. Everyone knew you were moving to Red Bull so this could literally be anyone.

“Oh my gosh, and Lego Star Wars! LOOK ITS THE FALCON” you yell excitedly. During COVID, you’d streamed alongside Alex, Charles, Lando and George as you liked playing games already and it was more fun with your friends. But you also did streams where you’d answer questions while building Lego’s.

“Guys, Christmas Falcon building stream??” You ask wiggling your eyebrows, however you didn’t know if they’d be able to see them with the Santa hat currently on top of your head.

“Who did you think it is?” The presenter asks.

“I feel like this one is so hard this year, everyone knows I’m moving to RedBull and everyone knew I streamed, and my love for Star Wars” you sigh, a hand rising up to your face in a thinking motion.

“It’s gotta be someone kind and funny. Lando? NO? hmmmm …Dani Ric again? No? Pierre Gasly? NO? Oh my lord, erm I’m not sure who is it??” You ask genuinely having no clue!

“It was George Russell!” She exclaims and you grin widely!

“Thank you so much George! I really appreciate this and I hope you drop in the steam where I’m building it!”

*Flip*

“Max, what a year it’s been for you! Between some amazing races and coming P3, what can we expect from you in 2021”

“Becoming a world champion for sure, I think Y/N moving over to redbull at this time in my career is exactly what I need. She was giving me a run for my money in a mid field car this year, pushing it to its limits every race and outperforming the car. I think she’s going to be competitive and push me further as both a teammate and a rival. I’m excited to have her on board” he smiles nodding.

“Okay so here’s your presents, they are numbered in the order you have to open them in!” She says pushing them forward.

“Okay present one, oh what is this OMG tickets to Moto GP. Beside F1 that is my favourite sport! And it’s during the summer break, that’s incredible! Thank you so much! There’s two so that means I can take a friend I presume! Can I take the gifter?” He asks looking at the F1 presenter who nods, knowing you most likely wouldn’t turn that down.

“Next one! Oooo woah, this is nice, look at this. This one here is me in, Malaysia I think. My first ever face win! Austria in 2018 is here, you can see the Bulk from the Red Bull Ring, oh and here is I think this must be my win in Brazil last year I want to say? And then Abu Dhabi from this year? That race was only yesterday, how did they… this has to be Y/N I don’t know any other person who is this good at art” he says pointing the painted canvas.

“Okay, this is the last one, so this has to be her joke one right?” He asks looking towards the people.

“Read the note here first, now that you’ve worked out who it is” she smiles pushing the letter forward.

“Dear Max, I can’t wait to drive alongside you next year. Or maybe in front of you, we’ll just have to wait and see. Y/N

“I am very excited to drive with her next season. It’s going to be a very close season with the changes I’m sure will occur” he says as he starts to pull from the bag.

“A Y/N pillow, this will travel with me as a travel pillow! Oh and a Y/N signed red bull cap. You’ll be signing a lot more of these next year, but I’m honoured to get the first ever one!” He smiles nodding before looking at the camera for them to stop rolling.

2021

“Y/N, what an amazing year you’ve had a RedBull, coming in P3 and winner the constructors championship for Red Bull, how has the year been?”

“Yeah it’s been phenomenal, driving with Max has really made me push myself to the limits. I think I’m still warming up in the Red Bull this seasons and I made some mistakes which I’ve been focusing on improving each race and I think you can see that in my performance in the second half of the season. I’m thankful to max for pushing me to be a better driver and I’m excited for 2022 with Red Bull, and Honda!”

“Obviously it’s our favourite time of the year! And we are going to be opening some presents!” She says pushing forward a small box. You grin looking at the very precise and very neat wrapping.

You open the box to find one of those cute adopt a penguin with the little plushie.

“Awww it’s so cute!” You exclaims holding up the little penguin.

“And I think there’s a note in there about something else” the F1 presenter directs.

“Hello Y/N it’s your fav mentor. Join me to meet this penguin on a Antártica cruise! K.R”

“KIMI, KIMI, KIMI! No this is too much!” You say looking at the presenter in panic.

“Your idol wants to go on holiday with you! How do you feel”

“Blessed! I’m so happy! I can’t wait to go see the penguins with you Kimi!” You smile, hugging the penguin plushie close to your chest.

*Flip*

“Lando, you’ve got some large gifts here”

“Yeah it’s Y/N” Lando immediately says looking at the wide array of gifts.

“You haven’t even opened at them yet” she laughs.

“No I know Y/N and she’s the only one that puts THIS extensive effort into this! I’ve nailed it tho saying it’s Y/N” he smirks.

“Okay what have we got here” he says picking up the first which is a thinly wrapped envelope.

“Spa vouchers …” he says before shaking his head trying not to laugh and look mock angry.

“I crash in spa, and this is what I get… thanks Y/N. Oh there’s three vouchers. You can Max Fewtrell can come with me. Oh and some … Valorant lessons? Are you saying I’m bad at Valorant, just because your a sweat and your like Ascendent or some shit!” He grins out.

He grabs the next box, small yet heavy. He opens it seeing McLaren x Richard Mille.

“A watch! Woah this … I’m so happy to add this to my collection!”

“And it’s the only one ever made!” The presenter adds making him gasp and look underneath the watch at the engraving. A blush comes onto his face thanking the girl for the watch.

“Okay big box next!” He grins tearing into it.

“Oh Y/N! Y/N” he says with a hand slapped to his mouth.

“Wait no stop” he says pulling the personalised helmet she made him with a note explaining it was for a good start to 2022.

“Thank you Y/N and I can’t wait to wear this next year it’s amazing!” He smiles showing it to the camera finding more and more funny things to laugh to himself about that were inside jokes between the pair of you.

2022

“Y/N the fight between you Max and Charles was so close this year, and you only were a few points behind Charles in the end, taking a storm of a constructors win for Red Bull, so do think you and Charles will have a chance in 2023”

“Yea of course! I’ve renewed my contract with Red Bull until 2025, so I’m very excited at what it will bring!”

“As usual it’s time for the best part of the season! Secret Santa, let’s see what you’ve got this year!” She directs pushing forward the presents in front.

“A bottle of Sake! This will be from Mr Yuki Tsunoda, a Japanese delicacy that he introduced me to this year at the Grand Prix! Thank you Yuki! We’ll have to drink this together!” You smile before going to the next present.

“Oh my gosh, a Bonsai and new tools! This is perfect for my garden in London! Look I have to show you!” She smiles showing the F1 presenter pictures of her garden going off on a rant of where she could place the new bonsai.

“Thank you so much Yuki! Can’t wait to race with you in 23” you smile at the camera.

*Flip*

“Alex! Hopefully Williams has been treating you well” the interviewer smiles happily.

“It has, I think I got a lot out of the car this year which they can learn from in the future! It’s been a year of learning for all of us and we’re happy with the improvements we made” he smiles.

“Well it’s Secret Santa time. Here are your gifts”

“This first one feels like a shirt” he admits feeling up the packaging. He opens it and unfolds the top laughing at what was on the front putting it down and laughing into his hands.

“Show us what you got Alex” she asks. He holds up the gifted top that’s a picture of you and Lily holding hands walking through the paddock looking at each other loving. Above the picture in writing says ‘this woman stole my girlfriend’.

“Lily will force me to wear this, I know it and she will agree with it and come running to the menace of a Secret Santa that gifted this to me! Thank you Y/N” he smiles charmingly at the camera.

“Okay, up next oh? Private golf lessons, with Lily at Hotchkin Course. It says here’s the course is ours for the whole day! Woah, not only will I appreciate that but Lily will also enjoy that day out! Thank you so so much Y/N as usual you are the best!”

“Hand painted golf balls, oh look so this one has the Thai flag on it, this one has the Williams logo on it, this one has a Lily flower on it, okay that’s cute! Look at this detail” he says holding the ball up close to the camera!

“This is perfect! Thank you Y/N and have an amazing Christmas”

2023

"Y/N you and Max have had an amazing season this year and have dominated formula one in Red Bull. You came P2 in the championship, not too far behind Max who won his 3rd championship!"

"Yes, its been an amazing year for us and I'm hoping that next year it will be me winning the Championship!" you grin looking at the presenter.

"Okay, so its the 7th year of Secret Santa on the grid! Are you excited! Because i am!" she says shoving the small bag towards you. You grin excited.

"Yes, okay so ooooo, I know who this is straight away and I think the fans are going to be really happy over this" you grin after you'd peeled the bag back seeing the first gift that was unwrapped and open for the eye to see.

You pull the object out showing hair bleach, toner and little tools and foils, and a note saying that you'll both dye it together and be matching blondes.

You show the camera, knowing fans will not only go wild for blonde Alex, but wild for you finally going blonde after saying for months that you would.

"This is a great gift, and we are going to get Lily to do this for us together!" you smile, before dipping into the bag and pulling the next gift out.

"Steal my GF coupons! OMG finally thank you Alex, i can finally get MY girlfriend Lily back. Guy's seriously when you next pan to her when she's in the paddock, please caption her as Lily Professional Golfer and Partner of Red Bull Driver Y/N Y/L/N. Please I'm begging you!" she laughs and the presenter writes something down on her phone.

"Thank you Alex for these amazing gifts and I will be sure to use both the coupons and the hair dye!" you grin, observing the contents of the hair dye.

"This is a good brand no? Lily must do a good job" you nod, hoping that Lily knows how to dye hair considering Alex's looked good the last time he had it done.

"Yes, its what they use for most of the KPOP Idols in Korea, you know how they dye their hair lots? This is what they use in order to keep it really nice and smooth"

*FLIP*

"Okay, here we have our all time favrioute Daniel Ricciardo, so happy to have seen you driving for AlphaTauri this year. Hopefully 2024 will be a good season for you and we can get some podiums back up there!" she smiles at Daniel who has his typical huge smile back.

"Thank you, lets get down to the real reason we are here! I want to see the presents whoever this is"

"Okay, so ooo a bike helmet. Hmmmm I've been saying to a few on the grid that i need a new one, but this is a really good brand. Okay next one" he smiles moving the bike helmet to one side.

"Ohhhh what the hell, someone has got me Talladega Nights, but they've photoshopped me into Ricky Bobby's place. Look at this. Did you guys get Jensen Button to join in this year?" he laughs showing the camera, the photoshopped version of the popular film among the drivers.

"That's really funny so i bet its got to be one of the young one. Maybe Lando? Or Y/N? or even Oscar my Aussie brother?" he says observing the disk before placing it against the bike helmet leaving it on show.

"A honey badger plushie... okay this is Y/N Lando no way would get me a plushie thats this cute" he jokes.

"Okay last one, holy shit. Do you know how the hell she managed to pull some of these gifts off?? I swear she's the actual St Nick sometimes!" he says looking at his final present. It was an envelope explaining something that you would do for him.

"So she's booked a venue, for her and Heidi in Milan to do a fashion show of my new clothes line that I’ve made in-front of anyone who wants to attend… that’s so thoughtful. Thank you Y/N I’m sure you and Heidi will look amazing on the runway! Thank you and see you on the track more next year!” He smiles.

Taglist:

@littlesatanicassholebitch @hockey-racing-fubol @laura-naruto-fan1998 @22yuki @simxican @sinofwriting @lewisroscoelove @cmleitora @stupidandunnecessary @clayra-g @daemyratwst @honey-belden @moonypixel @lauralarsen @vader-is-hot @ironcowboycopnickel @itsjustkhaos @the-untamed-soul @beebo86 @happylittlereader @ziejustme @lou-larcher5 @thewulf @purplephantomwolf @chasing-liberosis @chillyleclerc @chanthereader @annoyingmoonballoon @summissss @evieepepi08 @havaneseoger08 @celesteblack08 @gulphulp @fandom1ruined2me @celebstories @starfusionsworld @jspitwall@sierruhh @georgeparisole @dakotatankbig @youcannotcancelquidditch @zzonsbeek @tallbrownhairsarcastic @mellowarcadefun @ourteenagetragedy @otako5811 @countingstacksandpanicattacks @peachiicherries @formulas-bitch @cherry-piee @hopexcroc @mirrorball-6 @spilled-coffee-cup @mehrmonga @bigsimperika @blueberry64857959 @eiraethh @lilypadlover @curseofhecate @alliwantisadonut @the-fem1n1ne-urge @21stcenturytaegi @dark-night-sky-99 @spideybv28 @i-wish-this-was-me

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imtryingbuck · 7 months ago

Text

His Flower.

~ gif not mine credit to owner ~

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Summary: Bucky and Y/n have known each other since they were babies, they love each other but don’t say anything until Bucky goes to war.

Word count: 11,963

Warnings: angst. fluff. mentions of cheating (not Bucky) mentions of domestic abuse. Swearing. Steve never visits Peggy when she’s old. Bucky knew about Steve getting the serum. Pregnancy. Sad Bucky (that’s a warning in itself) Bucky was accused of the bombing in Vienna in 2015 in this. Blip happens but none of the avengers get blipped nor do any of them die. There’s a lot…so if I’ve missed anything please let me know

Masterlist

May 21st 1922

“Y/n stop running!”

“No”

“Why?”

“You have the lurgy”

Winnie and Y/m/n was standing in the shared courtyard laughing at the two five year olds as James ran after Y/n, the latter running as fast as her little legs could move.

The two women became friends rather quickly after Y/n, her mom and dad moved in next door just when Y/n was a year old. Baby James and Y/n spent everyday since they were introduced to each other, together.

“Those two…” Winnie laughed with a shake of her head as James finally grabs ahold of Y/n, her screams of laughter makes both mothers laugh along.

That was until the screams of laughter turns in to screams of pain.

James tripped over a loose concrete slab, in turn knocking into Y/n causing her to fall face first on the ground. Smacking her face and cracking her tooth.

“I-I-I’m sor-sorry Y/n I’m sorry” James cried backing up as their mothers came rushing over. His tiny hands shook as tears streamed down his puffy cheeks, he could see the blood flowing from her lips when her mom picked her up.

“Mo-momma it wa-was acciden-t I promise”

“I know sweetie, it’s okay” Winnie said after she helped her friend. Seeing her son shaking and crying as he backs up to the wall furthest away from them broke her heart, she and Y/m/n knew it was an accident and they both knew that James would never hurt his friend.

“I-it was accident” he hiccuped.

“Wan’ Jamie, mama wan’ Jamie”

Hearing her teary voice he pushed himself off the wall and ran around his ma going straight to Y/n. “I got you” whispering in to her hair as he wraps his arms around her.

December 24th 1922

As the fire crackled next to James and Y/n as they played with his toy trains and cars Y/n’s parents argued in the kitchen, from what Y/n could tell from this latest argument was that her dad had been fucking another woman. Again.

“Jamie what fucking mean?”

“I don’t know. I think it makes you cry”

“Mama always cries when dada fucking other women”

James shrugs, honestly feeling a little bit scared because of the raised voices and things being slammed down on the counters though he was just five years old he was trying to be brave in front of his friend.

The voices got louder as Y/n’s mom was pushing her dad into the hallway, screaming at him that this was the last time and for him to never come back. A photo frame that hung up on the wall falls and smashes loudly on the floor causing James to flinch, Y/n notices and takes his hand in hers smiling - she’s grown accustomed to the bangs, screaming matches and things being broken that it doesn’t bother her anymore.

James flinched once again when the front door opens and slams shut with a deafening bang. His scared wide eyes looked at Y/n’s, she gets up and moves to sit next to him as her mom screams once more and stomps up the stairs no doubt to chuck all of her fathers clothes out of the window.

“I got you”

She promised as she wraps her small arms around his body.

March 10th 1923

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE”

Y/n screamed as she ran over to him, she was so excited for his birthday she had made him a card and got him a new wooden train.

“Ahhh who are you little monster?” He screamed when she jumped on his back.

“‘M not a monster”

“You are”

“Not”

“Are”

“Kids stop arguing, you’re both monsters” Winnie laughed hugging Y/m/n.

“It’s my birthday Flower”

“No it’s my birthday”

“No it isn’t”

Both moms roll their eyes as the kids continue to argue, heading into the kitchen leaving both of them to stand in the hallway arguing.

Y/m/n was sipping the coffee that Winnie had made her, Winnie expressed how happy she was for her friend for not taking back her husband, though finding it sad that he hadn’t been around to see Y/n. Luckily George stepped up and had even brought the five year old a present for Christmas.

“Mama where is present?” Y/n asked running up to her mom.

“Here sweetie and here’s the card you made” handing over the present and card, Y/n smiled and thanked her.

“Here you go Jamie. I made the card all by myself!”

“Thank you Flower” opening the card he smiles at her messy handwriting and the drawing of him and her that she drew. James gave her a kiss on her cheek before handing the card over to Winnie, then he opened the brown paper wrapping. “Flower…”

“It’s a train Jamie”

“I-thank you so much!” James had his other one stolen from Jimmy who lived across the street, mean kid who loved to bully younger kids.

“It’s okay. Do you like it?”

“I love it Flower”

June 2nd 1930

James and Y/n were walking down the street talking about how school went when James grabbed her hand causing her to pull it away and blush, giggling when he tried to grab her again.

“Flower stop, listen do you hear that?”

“No-wait now I do, what is it? Do you think it’s an animal? Can we keep it?”

“Yeah because animals can speak” he rolls his eyes, moving towards the entrance of the alleyway where the noise was coming from he turned to Y/n “stay here-“

“No I’m coming with you!”

“No you’re not. Just stay here”

Nodding in defeat Y/n watched him walk down the alleyway, a few minutes later she sees Jimmy and his goons running out and down the street. Running in the direction that James went she came to a halt when she saw him picking up a guy who was a lot smaller than him.

“Jamie who’s that?”

“Flower I told you stay where I told you to”

“Who is that?”

“M-my names Steve” the blonde said fixing his shirt.

“Hello Steve my names Y/n and this is James” moving closer to them she held her hand out to the blonde, turning to James “can we keep him?”

“Y/n he’s not an animal”

“But can we? We can be best friends forever and ever and ever and-“

“I’m sorry about her, she gets a bit excited sometimes” James said to Steve both watching Y/n go bright red as she continued to say ‘and ever’. “Flower breath”

“And ever and ever, please Jamie can we keep him I’ll be good forever and ever and ever-“

“Do you want to be our friend? Please say yes just to shut this one up”

Steve looked at both of them debating whether or not this was a prank, he’d gotten so use to being alone that the prospect of having two new friends scared him. But he could see the hopeful look in Y/n’s and James’s eyes, maybe just maybe this wasn’t a prank and maybe they genuinely want to be his friend.

“So…” Y/n asked getting impatient.

“O-ok, yes I’ll be your friend”

“Amazing! Come on we’re going to Mollys to get a burger-“

“And a milkshake! Have you ever been to Mollys? They make the best milkshake ever don’t they Jamie, they do so Stevie I swear”

“I apologise for her” James started.

Steve just smiled and shook his head “it’s okay bu-but I don’t have any money so I can’t come with you”

“Don’t worry about it Stevie I’ll pay for you. My father’s dead so we got money” Steve’s eyes went wide at how nonchalantly Y/n said that her father was dead.

“I-I’m sorry-“

“Don’t be I didn’t like him, so what milkshake do you want? They have vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. My favourite is strawberry and chocolate and Jamies is chocolate”

“Oh I-I’ve never had-“

James rolled his eyes as he knew what was coming. Steve looked at him wondering what he had said wrong when Y/n loudly gasped and threw herself on the ground.

“Flower-“

“He. Has. Never. Had. Milkshake. Before. Jamie”

“I know-“

“I-how, how does this even happen?”

“You going to get off the floor?”

“I can’t”

James leans over to take her hand in his and helped her stand. “Next time don’t throw yourself on the ground, your ma will get mad at you for ruining your skirt again”

“Come on Steve I’m going to blow your mind with the best milkshake in the world” ignoring James’s words she grabbed Steve’s hand and started to drag him to Mollys.

“Flower stop dragging him and be careful!”

To be truthful Steve didn’t honestly mind that she was dragging him along the pavement, he was quite excited about trying something new.

“Sooo whatcha think?” Y/n asked as soon as the glass was put in front of him.

“Flower he hasn’t even tried it yet” James laughed though he did have to admit that he was also wondering what his new friend was going to think of the drink.

Taking the straw in his mouth he took slow sips, liking the way it tasted straight away. “It’s good, I like it”

“Yes!” Y/n screamed causing some of the customers to look at her, not like she cared.

Luanne came over to serve them, she was an older lady who had grown use to the antics that James and Y/n liked to cause. As soon as she saw the two coming down the street she always had their milkshakes at the ready, knowing that on Monday, Tuesday and Friday Y/n had strawberry and the other days chocolate.

“Your usual darlings?”

“Yes please, Stevie what do you want?”

“I-I don’t have mo-“

“It’s on me I told you. We get burger and fries and they are the best”

“I-are you sure?”

“The best ever I promise”

“N-no about buying me food…you’ve already brought me a drink”

“Don’t be silly, do you want the same at us?”

“Okay, thank you”

Luanne smiled and walked away back to behind the counter. Steve watched as James or Bucky as he told him to call him, put his arm around Y/n’s shoulder and point at someone walking down the street. He couldn’t help but smile when Y/n laughed at whatever Bucky had said.

The food had come and true to her word it was amazing, Luanne came back over to hand them new drinks winking at Y/n who winked back, he found out that the second milkshakes were free. For the first time in Steve’s life he laughed and smiled genuinely, he had no idea that being beat up in some dingy alleyway would lead him to be making two new friends who actually seemed like they cared about him already.

Steve knew he had made two friends for life.

14th February 1931

“Hey Stevie” Y/n sang as she skipped up to him.

“Hey Y/n/n you still doing that?” Referring to her skipping, it was a new phase she was going through. Every where she went she skipped.

“Of course” she giggled.

“Where’s Bucky?”

“With his girlfriend” she grumbled. Poor James thought his best friend liked his girlfriend but Steve observant as always knew that this was indeed not the case.

“Yo-you still don’t like her I guess?”

“No. Are you okay? Is your eczema play-“

“Asthma, Y/n I have asthma”

“Oh yeah ah, is it playing up today?” Receiving a nod she nods too. “How about we walk super slow so you can catch your breath”

“I-I need to g-get back to home, n-need to help ma cle-clean up”

“That’s okay I’ll help you and your mom I don’t mind”

“A-ar-are you sure?”

“Of course, plus I’ve missed your mom”

Arriving at the Rogers’s residence Sarah greeted Y/n with a tight hug and a kiss to her cheek happy to see the young girl again. Ten minutes into cleaning Y/n told Steve to sit down as his asthma was getting worse, Sarah tried to help out but Y/n just shook her head and told her that it was fine.

She truly didn’t mind helping in cleaning up, she had grown use to having to do it at home since her mom was always working and her step father was too lazy and drunk most of the time to do it.

A year after kicking her father out of the house for the last time her mom got divorced from him as he was wanting to marry the woman he had been cheating on her with. Unfortunately her mom married another lazy man who only thought of himself.

But her mom was happy so Y/n was happy for her.

When her father died for some reason her mom received all his money. Which it had annoyed his new wife tremendously.

“It’s getting late darling, you should head home-oh just before you go here’s some mon-“

“No need to Mrs Sarah, I’ll see you tomorrow Stevie”

Waving goodbye and leaving the house before Sarah could argue about giving her money, skipping down the street she didn’t realise how dark it was when she was in the warm home that belonged to the Rogers.

As she got closer to home she came to a stop when she heard strange noises come from an alleyway, choosing to inspect the sounds she crept down the dark path, furrowing her eyebrows at hearing two different voices she was about to pop her head around before freezing.

“Oh Bucky” a girl moaned.

Slapping her hand across her mouth she started to stumble back. Of course she knew that James was going to be having sex, he was handsome and every girl wanted him, and of course she knew what they was doing she wasn’t stupid but hearing what followed after the girl moaned broke her heart.

He called his girlfriend Flower.

The name that he had always called her he was now calling someone else it. It was her nickname that he gave her since they was four and now he was calling some girl he had been dating for two months her name.

It broke her heart.

For three weeks she had managed to successfully avoid James she knew it was silly for not talking to her best friend over a nickname that he had every right to call someone else but she just couldn’t help but feel down knowing that she wasn’t his flower anymore.

“Y/n, Bucky and Steve’s here for you” her mom shouted from the door, she could hear her talking to them from where she was stood at from the top of the stairs.

Her heart dropped when her mom told both boys just to head up to her room. Scrambling and knocking over her little brother she ran into her room, shutting the door quietly before jumping on the springy mattress causing the metal bed frame to squeak loudly.

“Knock knock little monster” she could hear the smile in his voice.

“Come in” and she also knew that he would be frowning at her response, it wasn’t the usual one she gave him.

“Hi Flower” if he noticed her tensing he didn’t say anything about it.

“Hi Y/n/n”

“Hi boys. What are you doing here?”

“Missed you, you haven’t been around much” James said watching her reaction.

“I’ve been busy” she shrugged. It wasn’t a total lie but wasn’t the whole truth either.

“Doing?” James knew that she was lying, whenever she did she could never look him in the eyes.

“Things”

“What kind of things?”

“Things James! I do not understand why you are so nosey”

“Because I miss my Flower” stating it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. He frowned when she flinched at his nickname for her. “W-what was that for? Why did you flinch”

“I-I don’t know what your talking about”

“You flinched when I called you Flower”

“You did Y/n” Steve interrupted, he did hate having to come in between his best friends but he knew that if he didn’t it would probably go on and on.

“I-“ sighing with a huff she shrugged her shoulders. She knew James better than anyone she knew he wasn’t going to give up any time soon. “I heard you”

“Heard me? What are you talking about?”

“Calling your girlfriend Flower”

“I-I’ve never-”

“In the alleyway when you were having sex”

Steve shifted awkwardly on his feet whilst James stood still like a statue. He couldn’t understand what the problem was, so what he was having sex at least it was with his girlfriend, why would his best friend be upset about that?

“You called her Flower James.”

Oh. Oh shit.

“I-you-it-“

“Whatever it’s just a nickname right? I’m sorry that I haven’t spoken to you in weeks but it hurt Jamie, but she’s your girlfriend-“

“I broke up with her”

“Right…so can we be friends again?”

“Aren’t you going to ask me why I broke up with her?”

“No. I just want to be your flower again”

“You’ve always have been Y/n, nobody will take that away from you”

Sliding off the bed she jumped on James, wrapping her arms and legs around him hugging him like she had never done before.

Yes it hurt because he had called someone else the name he had given her but she realised she was being silly for not talking to him over it, he was her best friend as well as Steve and that’s all that mattered.

December 10th 1941

The Second World War had been going on for three years and now America was getting involved after the attack on Pearl Harbour, it’s all everyone spoke about, before there was young men leaving their homes and families to go over to Britain to help fight, a fight they had no reason to be apart off other than to help beat the bad guys, now no one had a choice but to fight.

When James told Y/n that he too enlisted in the army it crushed her heart, she knew he was doing it to help defend his country but that didn’t stop her from being scared. Scared of losing him.

“I can do this all day” Steve panted as the guy tried to get closer to him and Y/n. Y/n couldn’t help but roll her eyes at Steve’s confidence, she knew that he could not in fact do this all day. His asthma was getting the better of him.

Just as Steve was about to leap forward to defend himself and Y/n the guy was pulled away by the scruff of his jacket.

“Pick on someone your own size” James kicked the guy away, watching as the bully scramble away.

Y/n and Steve stood there frozen on the spot at seeing James dressed in his uniform.

It was really happening. She was going to lose her best friend.

“Why are you wearing that?”

“Because I’m a pirate. I’ve been recruited Flower, I ship out tomorrow” though James had a smile on his face his stomach churned at reminding himself of when he was going to fight, churned at not knowing when he was going to see his Flower or Steve again or if he ever would.

“Tomorrow? T-that’s not enough time-no Jamie you can’t-“

“I have to Y/n-“

“Tell them no.”

“You want me to tell the US Army no?”

“Yes”

“Flower”

“Or I’ll do it if your to chicken”

“Chicken? Really?”

“Guys stop arguing.” Steve tried to intervene but it was too late. He watched as his two best friends argued back and forth, feeling annoyed at the fact that he had been rejected once again no matter what name he used or what area he said he was from. And yet his best friend had been accepted by the Army and was allowed to go and fight against the bad guys.

“Anyway come on, we’re going to the Stark Expo”

What James failed to mention to the pair that he had a date with Connie or was it Bonnie? He couldn’t actually remember but whoever he was going on a date with the other girl was for Steve, he felt slightly bad that Y/n would have to be fifth wheeling even if he knew that she would end up leaving under the arm of some guy.

“-so I told him that he had to look after his own children you know? And guess what he said to me-Stevie? Ste-not again” Y/n muttered when she realised that not only had she been talking to herself for god knows how long, but when she turned around she saw the small frame of her best friend going into a recruiting tent that was set up at the Expo.

Following after him she watched as he went into a small makeshift room, entering she laughed when Steve tried to cover his naked chest.

“Steve seriously? You can’t keep doing this-“

“Why not? I can fight, just because I’m smaller then everyone including you doesn’t mean that I can’t help“

“You’d be killed straight away Steven!”

“So what?”

“So what? Steve-“

“I’ve agreed to be part of a science project for a doctor-“

“A science project? Steve what the hell are you talking about?”

“I-it doesn’t matter what does matter is that I’ve been accepted and I’m going to war”

“No. I forbid you from going”

“Forbid me?” Steve scoffed finding her behaviour stupid. He wanted to do that right thing and she was forbidding it. Ridiculous. “You can’t stop me Y/n”

“I-I don’t want to lose you too”

“What are you talking about? Buck will be fine”

“He might not Steve you don’t know this. I can’t-don’t want to lose my best friends please just stay with me here an-and wait for Ja-“

“No Y/n I’m doing this! Stop being selfish”

Being called selfish had whatever response she was going to reply back with to die on her tongue. Y/n was called selfish time and time again by her step father when she wouldn’t look after her siblings, his children. She had grown to detest that word, hated to be called it which James and Steve knew.

Steve instantly knew that he had messed up but before he could apologise he watched his best friend nod, spin on her heels and walked out.

James looked around with a smile on his lips when the flying car got higher off the ground frowning when he didn’t see Flower or Steve, his eyes darted around to find them, his left eye twitched slightly when he saw Y/n coming out of the recruiting tent he knew she had probably tried to talk to Steve out of signing up.

Ever since the war was declared Steve had become slightly obsessed with going on the front lines along with the rest of the hero’s and fight. James and Y/n took it in turns to get Steve away from the recruiting centres, took it in turns comforting him when he got turned down because of his health problems.

Leaving the girls where they were he went to find Steve to see what had happened. “Steve seriously man just give up”

“Don’t start Buck I’ve had enough of Y/n trying to stop me.” Steve told Bucky how Dr Erskine had given him the opportunity of joining the war to the whole conversation between him and Y/n, he quietly told his best friend that he had called their friend selfish.

“You called her selfish? Steve!”

“I know okay I know I messed up but-“

“Did she say where she was going?”

“No, I thought she was going to find you”

Bucky goes to reply when he gets interrupted by the two girls that he and Steve were meant to be on a date with, asking if they were still going dancing, James sighed before telling them no he had other plans. The girls wasn’t happy but James didn’t care, he needed to find his Flower.

Saying his goodbyes to Steve he turned on his heels to go to Y/n’s house.

Knocking on the door he waited patiently for someone to open, Y/n’s little sister opened and smiled instantly showing Bucky her missing front teeth. “Y/ns in her room”

“Thanks little one”

“‘M not little anymore!” She pouted, the same pout that reminded him of Y/n’s when she was younger.

“No, no you’re not” ruffling her hair he laughed when she tried to hit him, he’s always had a habit of winding up their younger siblings.

Bounding up the stairs nearly tripping over the toy train that belonged to her younger brother he turned the corner and knocked on Y/n’s bedroom door.

“Go away”

“Wow that’s rude Flower”

“Jamie?”

“Who else is calling you flower?”

“No one”

“Are you going let me in or we going to keep talking with a door in between us?”

“You may enter”

Entering her bedroom his heart clenched in his chest at seeing her eyes and cheeks red, tear strained track marks on her puffy cheeks. Ever since they were young he’s always hated seeing her cry.

His stomach dropping when he sees the photograph in her hands, knowing exactly which one it was. James had dragged Y/n and Steve to Coney Island for the day, James made Steve go on the Cyclone which was absolutely terrifying yet amazing at the same time. Steve didn’t quite enjoy it like Bucky or Y/n as he vomited pretty much everywhere.

Winnie, had taken the photo that morning they were standing outside the home James grew up in, smiling at the camera. Y/n in the middle of the two guys, Bucky had his arm around her shoulder and she had hers around Steve.

It was the only photo she had of the three of them.

“Flower…”

“He’s leaving me too, a doctor-a scientist has told him that he can join if he takes part in an experiment James. I-I don’t want to lose you both Jamie”

“Hey-hey your not losing either one of us doll-“

“But I am. This war is dangerous and if I lose either one of you I-I-“

“I promise you that I’ll come back-“

“You can’t promise me that Buck”

“I’m with you ‘til the end of the line, you know this. And I’ll always come back to you Y/n, always. Especially if you let me make an honest woman out of you” his voice went quieter, serious, hopeful that she would hear the genuine words that he spoke.

“You…want to-after going on a date with someone else on your last night of freedom-want to make an honest woman out of me?”

“I, yes. Y/n flower it’s always been you”

“I should be the one making an honest woman out of you-wait-what?”

He couldn’t help but chuckle at her facial expression when she finally registers his words “I’ve been in love with you for so long Y/n”

“And you’re telling me this the night before you ship off to god knows where?”

“You know me Flower, I’ve always been good with timing”

“You really aren’t” she laughed.

“Am too. But what do you say? When I get back I’ll marry you, get us a nice house maybe on a farm? We can have all the animals you want-yes even a dinosaur even though they don’t exist-and we’ll have children, and we can be happy forever”

“Y-you really want that with me?”

“There’s no one else in this world that I want that life with Flower”

Instead of verbally answering she threw herself into him, wrapping her arms around his neck and nodding so fast Bucky thought her head might fall off. Bucky held her face in between his hands just staring at her, he knew that she would never see herself in the same way he has always seen her, he lent in pressing his lips to hers hopefully being able to show her how much he loved her without saying those words out loud.

That night they slept arm in arm with one another both equally dreading for the sun to come up.

When the sun finally made an appearance, he left with the promise that he would be back in an hour so that their families could walk him to the docks, and not without stealing another kiss from her.

Hand in hand an hour later with Winnie, Rebecca, Y/m/n, Y/n’s stepdad and siblings met up with Steve who was waiting outside Mollys with three milkshakes. Everyone walked ahead whilst the three best friends walked slowly behind them, wanting to try and delay the inevitable.

“My promise still stands Flower, I’ll come home and we’ll have the perfect life together. I promise”

“You best come home to me then Jamie or I’ll beat you up”

“Wouldn’t doubt that for a second” he chuckled, everyone else joins in. “I promise to be safe and come home to you Flower. And I’ll write to you when I can okay?”

“I’ll write back to you I promise.”

When the last signal called for all soldiers to get on the ship, Bucky swallowed the sob that tried to make its way out of his plumb lips. Hugging his ma and sister one last time, and his best friends mom and siblings before making his way to Steve, hugging Steve he asked the blonde to look after Y/n which Steve promised he would. Standing in front of Y/n he smiled sadly and wiped her tears away before kissing her one last time, he’d already grown addicted to the way she tasted and the way her lips fit perfectly against his.

He couldn’t wait until he got back so he could spend the rest of his life kissing her.

March 15th 1942

“Y/n there’s a letter here for you!” Her little sister shouted from the bottom of the stairs, there was only one person that would be writing to her, hearing her sister she fell out of the bed with how fast she was trying to get out of it, running down the stairs she grabbed the letter out of her sisters hand.

“Y/n slow down” her mom tried to warn her but it was no use she was already running back upstairs. The excitement getting the better of her. Ripping open the envelope she settled back on her bed.

***

Dear Flower,

It’s been three months since I last saw you and I’m missing you more and more everyday, how are you? Have you been missing me? How’s Steve been? I’ve wrote to him too but I know you’ll tell me the truth.

I’m still holding on to my promise I made so don’t be finding any other man, please.

I’m sorry it’s not the longest letter but I don’t have much time, I’m sorry.

I love you Flower, I should have told you that the last time I saw you but just know I do with all my heart, I’ll see you soon.

All my love

Your Jamie.

***

“So…what did he say?” Y/n was so engrossed in the letter she didn’t hear her bedroom door squeak open or see her mom and sister standing in the doorway.

“H-he said he loves me, momma he loves me”

“Have you only just noticed?”

“What?”

“That boy has been in love with you for as long as I can recall” her mom said as matter of factly.

“I-I need paper a-an-and a pen I need to tell him that I love him too”

Her mom smiled before handing her a piece of paper and a pen that she hid behind her back, she even gave her money so she could get a stamp to put on the letter.

***

Dear Jamie,

I love you.

I’ve been doing good, helping down at the factory with the rest of the women it’s good, I’ve made a friend her names Dot her husband is also fighting, she’s got two kids and Jamie they are the cutest little kids I’ve seen! Of course I have been missing you Jamie! Steve’s doing okay, he’s got a crush on a British woman names Peggy (but don’t tell him I told you that) she’s pretty, smart and really nice. I think she likes him too!

No other man will take me away from you Jamie I promise, I can’t wait to marry you and be able to wind you up for the rest of our lives together, I’m joking. Or am I?

Don’t apologise for your letter being short, anything is better than not having any from you, as long as you are okay and safe that’s all that matters to me.

I love you with all my heart to Jamie, honestly and truly.

Be safe and come home to me.

All my love

Your Flower.

***

Folding the letter and sliding it in an envelope her mom had given her when she was writing, she slipped her letter into the envelope sealing it off she ran downstairs slipping her shoes on she ran out of the house and down the street to the post office.

“A-a s-stamp pl-please” she panted at the worker.

The second the stamp was sealed securely on her envelope she posted it. Her heart raising rapidly, the temptation to just stand there and wait for the mailman to collect all the letters was there until someone cleared their throat from behind her.

“Sorry, I’m sorry” she muttered before leaving, now she just had to wait now until Bucky wrote her back. Shouldn’t be too long. Hopefully.

June 21st 1943

She last received a letter from James three months ago, he told her where he was and how he was doing, told her all about his comrades, told her that he’d come back to her. Ended that letter like the rest, with him telling her how much he loved her. Writing back as quickly as possible she told him how things were going, telling him about her news friends from the factory, and like all the others she ended it with telling him how much she loved him.

Everyday for three months she waited patiently for a letter to come, sighing deeply when she never received one. She was starting to get nervous at the prospect of something bad happening to him, but she kept pushing that thought away as she saw Rebecca everyday at the factory and she hadn’t said anything to her.

Six months after James left for war Y/n moved to a small apartment above the post office, it was small but enough for just her. One night after finishing her shift at the factory, Mary who worked at the post office came running out to her handing her a letter, Y/n ran up the stairs struggled to open her front door like always before she managed to get it to open, quickly closing and locking the door - keeping her promise to James who had made her promise to keep her front door locked at all times.

***

Dear Flower,

I’ve missed you terribly. How are you? I hope you’re okay and safe.

How’s Steve doing? He’s not been really responding to my letters. I’m a bit worried about him.

I’m sorry my letters are getting shorter, it’s just things have been hectic lately.

You’re in my thoughts and prayers every day and night, I’ll come home soon and I’m all yours forever I promise.

I love you more than anything Y/n.

All my love

Your Jamie.

***

Wiping her tears she moved to get her paper and pen, settling on her couch she started to write.

***

Dear Jamie,

I’m missing you more and more every day, I’m doing okay and I’m safe, you do not need to worry about me just as long as you are safe and sound that’s all that matters to me.

Steve will be getting the serum tomorrow (22nd June) I’m scared for him but Peggy has told me that everything will be okay. She’s even said I can come along too, Rebecca has said she will cover my shift because she’s an angel. Steve’s been busy but he’s okay I promise, oh…he jumped on a grenade BUT don’t worry it wasn’t a real one! I screamed and cried when Peggy told me, then I smacked Steve…he deserved it.

I’ve already told you not to worry about the shortness of your letters, I reread every single one of them over and over again.

You’re in my thoughts and prayers day in and day out.

I love you more and more than you’ll ever know.

All my love

Your Flower.

***

Sealing the letter in the envelope she unlocked the door and skipped downstairs where Mary unlocked the door and handed her a stamp, Mary knew the routine that Y/n had every time she got a letter that she waited long after closing so her new friend could post it that same day.

“Thanks Mary”

“Don’t need to thank me, how is he?”

“He didn’t say…but he said he misses me, it’s hectic over there so”

“It’s understandable, are you meeting Steve and that Brit tomorrow?”

“Peggy-“ Y/n laughed “-and yes, it’s a very big day tomorrow”

“What’s happened again?”

“H-he has a special operation and I’m just going for emotional support” she smiled, Peggy told her not to say anything to anyone but Mary had overheard Y/n talking to Steve about it. So she told her Mary that it was an operation he was having.

“Well I hope it goes well. I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight darling”

The next morning Y/n waited outside for Steve and Peggy to show up, nearly ten minutes later a sleek black car pulled up and Peggy got out greeting her. Instantly regretting sitting in the middle of two people who were flirting, made worse by Steve as he didn’t realise that Peggy was in fact flirting.

Just like the car ride Y/n blanked out most of what Dr Erskine was waffling on about, her eyes kept going to the bed where Steve lay strapped in to Howard Stark, still slightly star struck.

Everything happened next was lost on her. Her heart raced when she heard Steve screaming in the chamber, a beast of a man was released from said chamber it looked like Steve, her best friend Stevie but this guy was huge. Strong. Muscly. Taller.

Before Steve had to look up to her and now it was the other way around. He said her name and smiled, he pulled her into his arms as she gaped at her best friend’s transformation. Steve released her to look at Peggy as she moved closer.

The unmistakable bang of a gun firing sounded in the room, Steve wasted no time in knocking Y/n on the ground covering her body with his. Dr Erskine had been shot, Steve took off barefoot after the gunman, Y/n’s hands were drenched in blood as she tried to put pressure on the wound, Howard Stark helping her by covering his hands over hers.

It all happened in a blur.

It all happened to fast.

She didn’t like it, she was scared.

She wanted Jamie.

She was always safe with her Jamie.

“Y/n? Y/n look at me love, it’s Peggy. I need you to concentrate”

But she couldn’t. There was too much blood. There was chaos in the background and the only thing she could focus on was the shaking of her hands covered in someone else’s blood.

“Y/n please darling snap out of it” that sounded a lot like Howard she thought to herself.

She could hear them talking then she saw Howard standing and moving away slowly. Then everything came into focus. The look of distress in Peggy’s eyes, the destruction of the room, the white sheet covering a body.

“S-Steve?”

“He’s, he’s okay. We need to go love”

“I-I-I want Jamie”

“I know but he isn’t here right now an-and he will be rather mad at me if I don’t get you out of here, so please follow me”

Despite the blood on Y/n’s hands Peggy still took them in hers and helped her stand, although Peggy didn’t really know Y/n all that well she knew that Steve cared deeply for her, making her care about the woman. Her main focus was getting Y/n to safety and then she could worry about everything else.

December 10th 1944

It’s been well over a year since Y/n watched Dr Erskine get shot and killed, in that year she went back to work in the factory. Nothing really changed for her in that year that had gone by, months would go by without a letter from Bucky she knew that he was still alive as his family wasn’t informed to state that he was dead.

It brought her some relief. But that didn’t stop the sadness from sinking in when she didn’t get a letter.

Steve had become a circus monkey for America, gaining himself the name Captain America. When she saw one of his shows for the very first time she couldn’t stop laughing. The outfit. The way he looked so unsure and uncomfortable. The music. The acting. It was laughable.

“Stop laughing Y/n” Steve said walking into the tent as she followed behind him.

“I-god you look ridiculous Stevie”

“Stop laughing!” He tried to act mad but her laugh had his lips turning upwards. For Steve it had been a long time since he heard her laugh like that. He missed it.

In October of 1943 Steve showed up at her apartment acting different, he was quieter, avoided talking about Bucky. Y/n had asked him if there was something wrong but all he did was give her a tight lipped smile and shook his head.

He wanted to tell her that he was told that Bucky and his unit had been captured as POWs, he wanted to reassure her that he was going to do everything in his power to get him back, to bring him home to her so they could get the life he’s knows they’ve always wanted with each other.

But he just couldn’t do it. He couldn’t bring himself to say them words and see her smile fade, tears gather in her eyes so he remained silent and listened to her rambling about something one of the girls said at work.

He couldn’t fail her, he was going to bring Bucky back no matter what it took.

Unbeknownst to Y/n not only was Bucky captured and then saved by their once scrawny little friend but that in ten minutes there was going to be a knock at the door and she’d be taken by two soldiers to go somewhere.

“It’s like I’m invisible” Bucky mutters when Peggy doesn’t even give him a second glance, he found it funny that Peggy had to practically spell it out for the blonde to understand what she was trying to hint. He knew that if Y/n was here and saw the exchange she would have been smiling so wide with her hands clasped together against her heart.

A small smile made its way to his lips as he thought about Y/n, his Flower. As soon as he got back to camp from being saved by Steve he went straight to his tent and wrote a letter to her, sealing it up in an envelope he got from one of the soldiers, giving it to the person he needed to for it to be sent off. Already excited for her letter. He missed her more than anything.

“You thinking about her Buck?” Steve’s voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

“Of course, she’s always on my mind-what?”

“Who’s always on your mind?”

“Ms Potts from down the street-“ he rolled his eyes “-Y/n, you’re an idiot sometimes Steve I swear”

“I’m always on your mind Jamie?”

Bucky’s eyes went wide looking Steve in the eyes, the blonde just smiled at him. Slowly turning around, his heart thumped loudly in his chest, blood rushing in his ears he turned to find the source of the voice he has missed hearing.

Well aware that his unit, his team, strangers that became friends were standing around, he didn’t care if they saw their Sergeant with tears gathering in his eyes.

He didn’t care about anything other than Y/n who was currently standing in front of him. Her flower print dress fit perfectly, lightly moving as she stands there. Her eyes focused on him as he took her in, god she was so beautiful.

“F-Flower?”

“Hi Jamie”

“Wha-how-your really here? I’m not dreaming again am I?”

“No” she giggled, the sound making his heart tingle.

“If you don’t kiss her I will” Dum Dum shouted making everyone laugh. But not Bucky. No it made him move quicker than he’d ever moved before, cupping her face in his hands he smiled before placing his lips to hers. Steve joined in with everyone else as they cheered and clapped.

“You’re really here” Bucky whispered against her lips, resting his forehead against hers breathing in her scent.

“I’m really here”

That night he took her to his hotel room that they had been allowed to stay at, and made love to her for the first time. Three times that night. One more time before they had to say goodbye to each other again.

Just as she was about to get into the car Bucky kissed her one last time, and got down on one knee, proposing to her with a metal nut - that he had found in the room they shared - asking her to marry him before she could answer he promised that once he was back he’d buy her a ring.

Kissing him she held out her hand for him to slid the nut onto her finger.

“I’m getting married to my Flower” he said as the car that carried his love away. Steve smiled at his best friend’s happiness.

January 28th 1945

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Dot asked Y/n as she threw up for the second time that day.

“I’m okay. Must have been something I ate”

“You sure? Didn’t you say you saw James last month?”

“Yes…why?”

“Did you two…you know”

“Wha-oh, yes, a few times” she admitted, her cheeks going bright red.

“Do you think? Maybe? Right?”

“What are you talking about?”

“You might be pregnant” Dot whispered.

Her head spun as the words from her friend settled in. She hadn’t had her period she realised. No. Surely not, right?

“Go and see the doctor after your shift and check” Dot continued.

“I have half an hour off before I start back up again”

“I’ll cover you”

“You’ve got kids you need to-“

“My mom’s here to help me, I’ll be fine”

“But-“

“No buts missy, you need to find out if you are.”

After twenty minutes of arguing back and forth with Dot, Y/n finally caved. Going to the hospital she waited patiently for her bloods to be taken. Completely unaware that across town two families were receiving the worst news.

Getting her keys out of her bag she froze when she saw Steve standing outside her apartment dressed in civilian clothing as Bucky called it now.

“Steve? Hey! What are you doing here?”

“Y/n, I need to talk to you”

“Is it Jamie? Steve? Where’s Bucky?”

But Steve didn’t answer instead he took her keys from her shaking hands and unlocked the door, pushing it open he turned to grasp her arm and guided her in to her apartment. His heart sinking further into his stomach than it already was before coming to her apartment, when he saw the metal nut still sitting on her finger.

“Steve…”

“I failed you Y/n/n I-I’m so sorry”

“He’s okay. He is. I know it”

Shaking his head the scene replying over and over in his head like it had for the past week since he watched his best friend fall to his death “H-he-he’s gone Y/n, I’m so-sorry” He jumps up just in time to catch her as she falls to her knees, a painful sob leaving her lips.

Sadly Steve wasn’t done.

“Y/n…there’s something else, Michael…he’s been killed”

Michael was her half brother. She was close with him, closer to him than she was with her younger siblings. Michael never failed to make her laugh, he always acted like he was the oldest one of the two though there was eight years between them. Y/n was the first person he told when he got his orders from the Army, she hugged him as he cried. It’s not that he didn’t want to fight and help it was that he was terrified.

“No! No you’re lying.”

Helping her stand he took her home where her mom’s screams and cries could be heard from outside the home. Watching as mom and daughter cling together from the doorway Steve let a few tears fall.

Two days after finding out that her best friend turned fiancé and her sweet younger brother were killed Y/n found out she was pregnant. A few weeks later they buried Michael.

On the second of March 1945 Peggy arrived at Y/n’s apartment, eyes red and swollen. They held each other as they cried. Y/n gathered that Steve never got his letter to let him know he was going to be an uncle.

When Peggy noticed the small prodding bump her heart ached. She knew she had to keep the promise that she gave Steve, that she would look after Y/n. Steve had told Peggy that just before Bucky fell he told the blonde to look after his fiancée, the two best friend’s last thoughts were on their best friend and fiancée. Neither one knowing that she pregnant.

A month later Y/n and her family, Winnie and Rebecca were at the cemetery, she smiled sadly when she felt her baby kick for the first time when the preacher said James Buchanan Barnes, they watched as two empty coffins were put into the ground.

She knew that the baby she was growing inside of her would have been so loved and spoiled by its father and uncle Stevie, it broke her heart knowing that her unborn baby would never meet the two greatest men she had ever known.

Five years passed after she lost three men closest to her. After she gave birth to a healthy beautiful baby girl that she named Hope Jamie Barnes, she moved out of the tiny little apartment she had and moved into a farm house that had acres of land.

Just because her Jamie wasn’t with her anymore didn’t mean she was going to give up on the life that he had planned for them. She still wore that metal nut, everyone thought it was strange but luckily for her they never asked about it. However it no longer sat on her finger but around her neck on a silver chain.

A wedding ring sat there now instead.

Two years after Hope was born her mom made her get married. “You’re twenty nine now Y/n you need a husband” her mom told her, reluctantly she agreed and married a man named Frank. At first Frank was okay, nice even but things changed only after a few months of marriage. It started with small things such as telling her what to wear, how to act. Then it turned nasty, the abuse was mental, verbal and physical.

Three years into their marriage she had become numb and use to it all. Became use to the women talking and giggling like school girls when they saw her in the store or on the streets, the same women who were sleeping with her husband. It didn’t bother her anymore that her husband was cheating on her, the more women he had to satisfy him the more he was away from her home, the less she got beaten and berated.

It didn’t even bother her that he had gotten one of his mistresses pregnant or when the mistress’s husband found out and beat Frank to within an inch of his life. In fact she smiled.

Y/n and Peggy’s friendship became non existent after Y/n got married and Peggy married Daniel Sousa, when Peggy and Daniel started dating Peggy had asked Y/n if she was wrong for it but Y/n told her that she deserved to be happy and if he gave that to her then she should have that happiness.

Peggy worried if Steve would have been mad, Y/n had to remind her that he wouldn’t have wanted her to live a life of loneliness.

When Hope was five she was wise for her age, she knew Frank wasn’t her father, she knew her daddy had passed away when he protected the country from the bad guys. Hope enjoyed her nighttime stories where her mama would tell her all about her father, hearing about how funny, kind and loving her father was always made the little girl smile. One night Y/n showed Hope the few photographs she had of James, Hope giggled and pointed at her eyes and then at James’s “same mommy same”. It was true, Hope had the same colour eyes as Bucky and like Bucky’s eyes they changed lighter when she was happy or giggling, turned darker when she was sad or when she was poorly.

Every Sunday Y/n and Hope had a routine, they would go to the cemetery to put flowers down on the graves of James and Steve. They would sit on a blanket and eat the sandwiches that Y/n would take with them, they would sit, eat and talk for hours - depending on the weather. Hope would show the headstones all her drawings and tell them all about her schooling and friends, told them her favourite colour - the rainbow that’s her favourite colour.

Y/n knew that there was no bodies in the coffins but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t sit there with her daughter in her lap and tell the two empty graves that she loved and missed them. Every time.

It was still a tradition that they both did even as Y/n got older and weaker.

In 1970 her husband was killed, Franks brother Robert was arrested and charged with his murder. Robert found out that his wife was having an affair with his brother. Y/n went to see him in prison after Robert sent her a letter begging her to see him, he swore that he didn’t do it. That it was a man with a silver arm. Y/n believed him when he said he didn’t do it, he was with his sister, her husband and their children, along with Robert’s children. But she didn’t believe him about a man with a silver arm, that was a bit far fetched.

At Franks funeral Y/n stood there with Hope on her left side and the nine children he had with nine different women. She tried to comfort the children he had with the women he had cheated on her with, they allowed it until everyone left and it was just them standing at the grave. His oldest started laughing causing the others to join in, Hope looked at her mom with a raised eyebrow that reminded her so much of Bucky, she just shrugged.

They told Y/n that they were happy he was finally gone. Told her that they hated him and was glad he was dead.

It surprised her but they were at the age where they realised that their parents marriages broke up when their mom cheated on their dad, or when they saw Frank hit their mom. It was nine teenagers/young adults who knew that what the preacher was saying as the coffin was lowered in the ground that it was all lies, he wasn’t a good man, he wasn’t a good husband or father, he was everything they hated. He was everything the five boys had promised that they would never turn in to. He was everything the four girls promised that they would never end up with.

They all kept in touch throughout the years, it was nice. And through them years all nine of his offspring kept their promises.

As the years went on Y/n became more and more proud of Hope and the woman she had become. Hope got married and had children, her first born son was named James, her second son was named Steve.

“M-mom there’s someone here to see you” Hope stuttered from the doorway.

“W-who i-is it darling?”

“I-he-hold on”

Hope appeared at the door with a nervous smile on her face, her fingers twisting together as a man walked slowly towards her. His eyes going to the woman and then to the man behind him, he was scared.

“Hope?”

“Mom-“

Y/n slowly turned to face the doorway, her eyes widening as she sees the ghost of her best friend towering over her daughter.

“S-Stevie? You’ve come to take me to Jamie?”

Steve frowned looking at the woman who was the last person on his mind before the plane crashed in to the water, his best friend who had aged yet her eyes remained the same. Then he looked at Hope confusion written on his face, she looked up at him and smiled sadly.

“Mom I’m just going to get you a drink.” Nodding her head to Steve and Sam to follow her she went into the kitchen. “She thinks your taking her to heaven to see my dad”

“Dad?”

“James? He’s my father”

Steve’s heart thumped painfully in his chest. When Hope answered the door telling him that she was Y/n’s daughter he assumed that she had married and had children, he did not expect the woman in front of him to be the daughter of his best friend who he watched fall to his death.

“What?”

“Bucky Barnes is my father…you’re my uncle, well that’s what my mom always called you.”

“Oh. Now I see it, it’s your eyes”

“Mom always said I had the same eyes as him” she laughed.

Steve goes to open his mouth when there’s a sound of a cane hitting the floor, all three turn to face the doorway where Y/n stood.

“Are you re-really alive and not just m-my imagination?”

“I’m really here Y/n/n”

“H-how?”

“When I crashed the plane-ow stop hitting me” he cries out when she hits him with her walking cane, Sam and Hope laugh.

“Still mad at you for crashing that plane”

“I’m sorry. I was frozen and they found me a few years ago” Steve finished his explanation. Y/n nodded and sat down, being ninety five years old her legs weren’t as strong as they once were.

“This is my daughter, she’s beautiful isn’t she?”

“She is, she’s got Bucky’s eyes”

“Yes she has. Who’s your friend?”

“This is Sam, he’s the one that helped me track you down”

“I-it’s nice to meet you Sam.” When Y/n reached out to shake Sam’s hand Steve noticed a glint of a necklace. He watched as her free hand went to the necklace and started lightly tugging on it, he wasn’t the only one.

“Mom? Mom your alright, your safe don’t worry” Hope says softly, moving closer slowly. Sam looked at Steve worriedly.

“I-I don’t-don’t let him hurt me anymore”

“Mom he’s dead, he can’t hurt you anymore I promise” Hope helped pull the necklace out, handing her the thing she knew her mom was trying to hold.

Steve’s breath get caught in his throat at seeing the metal nut Bucky gave her all those years ago.

“S-Steve? Your dead. Hope wh-who is he? I-it’s not Stevie, he’s dead”

“It’s okay mom, he’s a friend. Let’s get you back to bed okay?” Turning to Steve and Sam telling them she’d be back in a few, they both nod.

Waiting patiently in the kitchen Steve can hear Hope calm Y/n down, his heart breaking when Y/n asks for Jamie. When Hope comes downstairs she offers the two a drink, both declines politely.

“Mom keeps forgetting things, she’s been like this for a while now.”

“The thing on her necklace, what is it?” Though he knew he just couldn’t see it lasting this long or that she even kept it.

“My dad proposed to her with it, it’s a nut. She’s kept it on her chain ever since-well, she’s wore it since he gave it her”

“Did she ever marry? Have other kids?”

“Yes, he died in 1970 and no I’m her only child”

“I’m sor-“

“Don’t apologise, bastard deserved it”

After an hour or so the men take their leave, the blonde asking if he was able to come back and see Y/n again, Hope said yes.

The year was now 2016, Y/n’s health declining as she was nearing one hundred. The doctors told Hope that it would be better to keep her in hospital for the rest of her time on earth, Hope told them that, that wasn’t going to happen. Y/n had told Hope that when she was going to die that she wanted to go when she was at home. No matter what.

Steve had showed up one day to talk to Hope, to tell her that her father was alive after all this time. Hope begged him not to tell Y/n. Y/n struggled to understand and come to terms with the fact that Steve was alive, she had grown so confused that she started to tug on her necklace. Hope didn’t want to imagine how her mom would react to the news that the love of her life was alive, not when she spent so long mourning him.

At first Steve was confused but understood at the same time. He told Hope that he and Bucky fought and the only way he could get him to snap out of whatever Hydra had done to him was by saying Y/ns name, Hope smiled at that. Hope asked Steve if he had told James all about her and how her mom was still alive, Steve said no but with her permission he would. And he did.

After seventy years of going without a father it was strange when she met Bucky for the first time, a man who didn’t look a day over thirty was her father when she looked like his mother, it was strange.

Bucky cried. Cried for never knowing Y/n was pregnant in the first place. Cried for never being there throughout Hope growing in her mother’s stomach. Cried for never being there for either one of them for nearly seventy years. Hugging his daughter for the first time ever Bucky crumbled.

Hope was very honest about hers and Y/n’s life, told Bucky how Y/n’s husband was a cheating abusive arsehole. Both Bucky and Steve clenched their fists at hearing that. Shocked when Hope told them that apparently a man with a silver arm had killed Frank, and because Bucky had his arm covered and gloves on Hope didn’t realise that it was her father that did it.

Bucky was open and honest about what had happened to him, expecting his daughter to look at him differently so when she threw her arms around him and cried he was shocked.

It took Bucky exactly twenty three minutes and fourteen seconds for him to ask when he could see Y/n. Having to think it over she agreed but on the condition that she was the one that would tell Y/n the truth.

Telling her mom that the man she had still been in love with after all those years since she had lost him, that he was still alive was the hardest conversation she had to have with her mom. Y/n didn’t believe her, of course she didn’t she’s spent seventy years mourning him. Seventy years wishing she saw him again, hoping and praying that he would still love her the way she still loved him.

Hope told Y/n that she had met him, hugged him, laughed with him but she still didn’t believe her.

A week after telling Y/n that Bucky was still alive her health deteriorated. Hope had to tell Bucky and Steve that Y/n didn’t have long left. Bucky was determined to see his love for the last time.

James stood in front of the house that Y/n had made a home since she left Brooklyn, the two floored farm house stood proudly in front of acres of land, due to his enhanced senses he could smell the lingering smell of animal food and waste. Hope had told him all about the animals Y/n rescued over the years, told him that when she was seven they had three horses, cows and goats, that in recent years Y/n had been rescuing cats and dogs from the streets or abusive homes rehoming them to those she trusted. Bucky smiled at hearing that she had lived the life he wanted for the both of them, smiled at hearing that Y/n’s kindness and love for animals never stopped.

Checking his hair was fine for the umpteenth time in the two hours it took them to get there he turned to face Steve.

“You ready Buck?”

“Y-yeah” Steve knocks on the door and they both wait patiently for Hope to answer.

“Hi, come on in-oh”

“T-they wanted to come, hope that’s okay” Bucky explained. Behind him and Steve stood the rest of the Avengers.

“We’ve heard all about your mom ever since blondie came out of ice, wanted to meet her” Tony spoke leaning in between the two super soldiers to hold his hand out.

“Oh right, come in.” Leading them all upstairs where Y/n was, Bucky’s nerves sky rocketed the closer he got to the bedroom. “You ready?” Hope asked.

“Yeah. She knows I’m here right?”

“She does, if it helps she’s nervous too”

Nodding his head he watched with a steady breath as his daughter - which he still found weird saying - twisted the door knob and opened the door.

Though older and frail Bucky thought she was still the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. His eyes stayed on her face as he moved closer, with every step he took his heart started to beat slower.

“J-Jamie?”

Wetting his lips and gulping he nodded “hi Flower”

“Took you long enough to come and get me”

“I know my love b-but I’m here now”

“Are we going to see Stevie?”

“Stevie’s right here darling”

“Is my mama going to be there too?”

Frowning he looked back to Hope as she stands at the doorway with everyone behind her. Hope shook her head and mouthed “she thinks you’re taking her to heaven”. His frown deepened, looking back at Y/n whose eyes didn’t move away from him.

“I’ve missed you Flower”

“I’ve missed you too Jamie. Ha-have you met Hope? She’s your daughter Jamie”

“I have met her, beautiful isn’t she?”

“She is. The best thing I’ve ever done”

“I’m so proud of you, you’ve raised our daughter amazingly”

“Sit down silly” sitting on bed next to her he took his gloves off and held both her hands when she reached for him. Y/n didn’t flinch when his silver hand touched her. “Don’t let Frank hurt Hope okay? Y-you have to promise me Jamie th-that you’ll lo-look after her”

“Doll he’s-I promise that no one will ever hurt her”

“Good. He’s mean. He hurts me Jamie”

“I know doll I know, I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you from him”

“Not your fa-wh-who are they Jamie?”

“They’re Stevies friends Flower”

Hope nudged Steve further into the room and nods to the others letting them know it’s okay for them to go in too. Steve says hello and introduces the team to her, each giving her a smile.

For three hours Steve and Y/n talked about growing up together and all the things they use to get up to, everyone laughed and asked Y/n questions about the two super soldiers, she answered them as best as she could sometimes she repeated herself or looked panicked when she saw strangers standing in her room.

Bucky though held her hand with the both of his, his eyes on her the whole time. Tracing over each line with his eyes, his heart clenching when he saw the unmistakable sight of a scar that ran down the side of her face.

His breath got caught in his throat when she took out the metal nut around the necklace. “Y-you kept it?” He asked interrupting when Sam was talking about.

“My Jamie gave it me during the war, he proposed to me” she smiled “you look like him”

“Do I?”

“Yes, but my Jamie was more handsome”

“Was he now?”

“Oh yes-“ a yawn cuts her off. Hope tells everyone that it was best if they left now so she could get some rest, and they do. Each say their goodbyes and waits for Steve and Bucky downstairs.

“We’ll come and see you tomorrow okay?” Steve says after he pulls away from giving her a hug and a kiss to her forehead. Y/n nods and smiles. “I’ll wait for downstairs Buck”

Bucky nods, then looks at Hope who understands without being verbally told that Bucky wanted a few minutes alone, she follows behind Steve.

“I have always loved you, you know? I still love you. I’m sorry that I didn’t come home to you when I promised you over and over that I would, I’m sorry I let you down Flower”

“Y-you didn’t let me down Jamie, never.”

Bucky smiles softly at her, watching as her eyes start to droop. “I’ll let you get some rest my love. I’ll see you tomorrow, I promise”

“O-okay Jamie. S-see you tom-tomorrow” Giving her a kiss to her forehead he stands and moves to the door, taking one last look at his first and only love.

“Thank you for the best years of my life”

He says before shutting the door and heads slowly down the stairs.

After Hope says her goodbyes and gives her dad a hug she busies herself cleaning the kitchen, she smiles happily to herself seeing her parents together something she had always wanted to experience.

She doesn’t know that her mom is in her bed with her hand wrapped around the piece of metal that she had wore and cherished from the moment James gave it her, she doesn’t know her mom is thinking about meeting her Jamie again.

She doesn’t know that her mom takes her last breath with a small smile on her lips.

A year after loosing the love of his life Bucky had to bury his only daughter, heart attack took her. In 2023 Tony had perfected his father’s Time Machine with the help from Bruce. Steve was going to be returning the stones, they all gathered together in the empty space and watched as Steve vanished.

“4…3…2…1” Bruce counted down for Steve’s arrival.

Once the smoke cleared Bucky had his eyes down as he knew that Steve wasn’t going to be coming back, he knew he was going to go back to live a life with Peggy. His head snapped up when he heard the voice that he always heard in his sleep.

There stood on the platform was Steve, Y/n and a two year old Hope.

“Fl-Flower”

“You died Jamie. You promised me you would be safe but-“

Bucky cuts her off by pressing his lips against hers, holding both of his flowers tightly.

One month after Steve brought Y/n and Hope to the future, Bucky and Y/n got married. A month after that she finds out that baby Barnes number two would be arriving.

“I love you Flower”

“I love you Jamie”

Tags: @imcinnamoons | @pigeonmama | @capsbestgirl77

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nekomanager · 1 year ago

Text

♡ f!reader, rough sex, overstimulation, creampie, dacryphilia, multiple orgasms

“I’M STILL CUMMING WAIT- ahhh... Mhmn– still cumming!” You cried out, tears crawling down your flushed cheeks as he slammed his fat cock into your pussy all the way in while you’re still trembling from the orgasm he just gave you.

“Can’t hold myself– Y’re so tight, it’s so good...” he said in a strained voice. His clutch on your ass, tight as he had his teeth gritted, giving out all his force in fucking you raw and wild from behind in a prone bone.

Your face fell flat on the pillow and drool started leaking from your lips as you whined endlessly. He continued to rapidly pound your little pussy that your body won’t stop quivering from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Wai- aahnn too much...too good...hah aah–“ You felt spent, worn and overused yet it was exactly how you wanted to be...so messed up by him that he couldn’t see straight ramming your insides until you’re both on the brink of passing out.

“You want this, right? You want all of me?” He groaned, through gritted teeth. “Then take! All– of me–” he suddenly slammed right in so deep that you were stunned. Your eyes widened in shock as another orgasm shoot right through your already trembling body. He leaned down, caging your helpless, shivering frame as he thrust faster finally about to get to his own release. “Take this! Take – ngghh all– of this–“ His hot milk poured inside you as his body gave in on you.

Breathing heavily, he hugged you tenderly, and asked, “Are you...are you alright?”

You were bresthless and could barely answer. “I...I...won’t stop shaking.”

Trust me, he’s lowkey proud of it.

—♡ kuroo, oikawa, atsumu, samu, iwaizumi, reo, isagi, chigiri, sae

⏝︶︶⏝︶ ୨୧ ︶⏝︶︶⏝

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simonz-angel · 23 days ago

Note

Silent treatment with Simon? How would that play out 🫣

ahhh hi babydollll thank you so much for your request!! i struggled with this a lil bit there was just so many different way to go but this is what i went with i truly truly hope you love it, i know it’s not the best and i tried so hard… you have no idea 😂 love ya hun enjoy this!!

his fingers curled, grabbing ahold of your throat in an angry grasp as rage pumped through his heart and into his veins, encapsulating his whole being.

it had been a week of your actions, soft short answers, eyes cast down whenever he’d enter the room. you were cold, and distant and it had him desperate, frustrated and feral.

he was staring down at you, gaze alight with burning rage, as his hips worked you. his pace was tight, quick draws of his hips before he was settling back into you.

“you don’t wanna talk to me is that it, bunny?” he grinned down at you, and when you looked up at him you filled with fear. his smile wasn’t sincere, no it was mad, hungry. he needed to hear you, beg, cry out, it didn’t matter, he needed all of you, all at once.

and his fingers jumped to grab you by your cheeks, as he suddenly bowed himself over you. he held your face tight, the tip of his nose meeting yours in a bend. “is that it, huh?”

and you were hiccuping, fingers grabbing at his back as tears filled your lower lash line. it was all too much for you, the heavy thud of his hips at the back of your thighs, the angry stare, the tightness gathering in your lower belly. you were high off it all and addicted to this man.

“i’m- i’m sorry, si,” you cried out, ankles hooking around his back as you forced yourself to keep up with him. “i’m sorry!”

he laughed in your face, fingertips patting at your cheek in soft taps, he wasn’t even aware of his actions anymore, adrenaline and emotion spiking up a frenzy within him.

“oh you’re sorry, honey?” he pouted down in your face, hands reaching behind his back to grab at your thighs. and he pulled at them, breaking the seal of your ankles as he pressed them wide, forcing your hips to stretch.

he pressed your knees to the bed, watched your back perk, felt your sweet cunt hug up around him. and his head tilted down at you, watching you in a dark heated gaze, “beg for your forgiveness, hear that? tell me how sorry you really are and that i should forgive you.”

#call of duty #call of duty smut #cod modern warfare #ghost smut #ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #cod mw2 #cod mwii #cod smut #cod #simon riley #simon ghost riley

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seozii · 1 month ago

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──── ❝ BIG BABY ❞ 🧍👶

He was the tall and energetic one, you were the short and calm one. That’s basically golden retriever x black cat right?

⸝♡ fluff, est.relationship, golden retriever x black cat, teasing, 643 WC, 𝐅𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑

“Omg stay still will you?” You complained with a serious expression at the taller male who let shaking his head and wincing in pain to every touch made by your hand and his wound.

“How can I when it hurts so bad?” He sobbed quietly glaring at the bottle of ointment in your hand.

“Ugh you’re such a baby” you smirked feeling a bit inferior after knowing small things like this made him cry.

It was honestly crazy to you how a whole tall and intimidating looking person like him was actually a big baby under those covers. “I’m done now stop crying will you?” You asked reaching out your hands to gently wipe away the tears on his face, getting caught up in his beauty for a moment. “You look like a clown” you randomly blurted out, laughing at his pouty face.

“Hey?!!! I do not. You’re just a mean person” he huffed quietly folding his arms over his chest, clearly offended. “But thank you so much! I love you!” He beamed excitedly pulling you into a big tight hug, burying your head deep in his shoulders

“Hey let me go, your hug is so hard” you muffled in his shoulders trying to break free from the tight hug.

“No. I want to keep hugging you” he declined pulling you even closer. “Plus, I love the feeling of your smaller body on mine” he teased, giggling at your flustered reaction. “Ahhh you’re so cute when you’re flustered” he smiled lightly pinching your cheeks.

“Shut up” you muttered under your breath.

—

A loud sigh of relief escaped your lips, a small smile tugging the corner as the cool evening breeze made contact with your skin.

Over to your side was Jake skipping Happily like a child who had no worries in his life.

You hate to admit it but Most times when Jake acts like an energetic little puppy you can’t seem to bring yourself into ignoring him. He was just too adorable but of course your personality wouldn’t let you admit it.

Up ahead was a small ice cream shop that seemed to be having a bit of discount off their prices today.

You thought it was a good idea to take Jake over there and maybe give him a nice treat for once. He was always the one buying things for you sometimes so why not let the tables turn around.

“Hey umm.. Jake would you like some ice cream?” You asked staring into his eyes, your expression lightly softened.

He gasped, “omg! Yes I will love an ice cream right now. Rahhh you read my mind” he jumped up and down excitedly which was nothing but an adorable sight.

You let yourself get carried away adoring Jake that you didn’t know when words slipped out of your mouth. ‘Cute’ you accidentally mumbled but loud enough catching Jake off guard.

His eyes widened at your sudden words, his lips slowly curling up into a smirk. “What did you say? I swear I heard you say cute” he chuckled in clear disbelief.

It was very rare of you to express your love and affection with things like “words of love, physical touch” and much rather by buying gifts or doing small touching actions that looked meaningless to some people. All that matters to you was, your partner felt loved and appreciated.

Of course you wouldn’t blame Jake for acting that way.

“I- i- n-no ugh just forget it!” You rolled your eyes staring at the ground with a flustered look. “Come on let’s go inside” you ushered him into the store in front of you.

“Ahhhh you’re so down bad” he giggled teasing you, capturing your hands in his, like it was an everyday thing.

“Shut up” you shushed him.

#enhypen #enhypen fluff #enhypen imagines #enhypen x reader #enhypen scenarios #enhypen x you #enhypen jake #jake x reader #jake x you #Jake fluff #sim jaeyun

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rafeandonlyrafe · 3 months ago

Text

slap

words: 1k

warnings: established relationship, hitting rafe, rafe having a panic attack, brief self harm from rafe (not really intentional), drunk riding? a dirt bike

“rafe.” you say softly, trying to keep your voice steady. “stop that.”

“i-” rafe takes a gasping breath, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “i can't.”

“you're going to hurt yourself.” your eyes flicker down to his clenching fist, his nails digging into his palm, threatening to break skin. your voice is trembling with concern.

“i can't.” rafe says again, his mouth turning to a frown as he struggles to hold back tears, eyes glistening.

you don't know what to do. you've seen rafe overwhelmed before, but this is a new low, seemingly to lose control over his body. hes always kept it together before, especially for you when you’re around.

you reach out, not sure if it would help, and slap your hand directly across his cheek in a swift, firm hit.

you both fall silent and time seems to stand still as you stare into each other's eyes, both in shock at your action when rafes hands loosen and pull you into him.

“that helped.” he says, tucking his head into the space between your shoulder and neck, pressing a kiss to your skin.

“okay.” you reach around his waist and hold him tightly. “im sorry for hitting you.”

“it's okay.” rafe says, eyes closing, quickly tiring out.

“let's go to bed, yeah?” it's the middle of the day, but you're ready to retreat into rafes bedroom, especially to get away from ward who didn't let your presence hold him back from shouting at rafe.

“yeah.” rafe grips your hand tightly, needing that connection to you as you head up the stairs.

“rafe.” you voice is harsh and controlled, but not a yell. not yet.

“baby-” rafes voice is whiny and slurred from all the shots of alcohol he'd taken with his boys earlier. “what do you want? im going-”

“you're not going anywhere without a helmet on. you already shouldn't be riding drunk.” you place your hands on your hips.

“im fine.” rafe says, a smile stretching across his cheeks, hoping it will appease you, will make you let this go like you usually do.

“no.” you say harshly. “get off the bike and get a helmet.”

rafes expression hardens as he revs the engine, threatening to take off and join kelce and topper, but you don't care that they already sped away towards the country club without putting any protection on.

rafe opens his mouth to continue to argue, but you cut him off with a slap across his face.

rafe blinks, stunned.

“sorry.” rafe steps off the bike and takes your face in his hands, pressing a kiss to your lips. “ill get a helmet.”

“thank you.” you're still not happy that he's even going, but you know you can't do much to control rafe and you’ve learned to pick your battles.

you're sitting on the couch playing on your phone, scrolling aimlessly through social media when you hear the roar of the bike engine returning to tanneyhill.

you frown and check the time, but your mental clock was correct, it's only been around an hour since rafe and his friends left, too early for him to be returning.

curious, you walk outside in time to watch rafe pull into the garage.

“what are you doing back so early?” you ask as he takes his helmet off.

“i missed you.” rafe sniffles then pouts, his voice shy and a little sheepish. “i don't like being away from you when im drunk… or ever.”

“aww, whose a softie?” you giggle, wrapping your arms around his shoulder as you melt at his words.

“and i feel bad about being mean to you about me wearing a helmet. i know you were just looking out for me.” rafe ducks his head and presses his lips to your forehead.

“i forgive you.” you wrap your arms around him in a tight hug. “sorry for slapping you.”

rafe shakes his head, dismissing your apology without the need of any further acknowledgement.

“love you so much.” rafe picks you up and carries you inside. you're not worried about him falling or dropping you, he wouldn't allow you to get hurt even in his drunk state.

“ahhh!” you scream out, hand reaching out and hitting the figure in the face that appeared from the darkness. you reach up again with your other hand to deliver another slap when a hand emerges from the shadow and grabs your wrist.

“baby, it's me.”

rafes voice cuts through the darkness as you freeze before your body deflates.

“oh shit.” knees buckling as rafe grabs you and pulls you against his chest. “i thought you were an intruder.”

“an intruder?” rafe laughs. “well, that was a good hit. i think you might leave a mark.”

“a mark?” you squeal, pulling away from his chest and looking at his cheek, that does in fact have a red mark in the distinct shape of your fingers.

rafe just laughs, his arms wrapping around you more securely. “dont worry about it.” he says, kissing the top of your head. “its kind of hot that you’re so tough.”

“god, shes hot.” rafes voice is loud, almost obnoxious, as he pipes up for the first time since entering the room and plopping down on the couch next to you.

“what the fuck?” you question, dropping your phone as your eyes narrow at him.

“nothing.” theres a smile on rafes face that tells you there's something more as you try to snatch his phone from his hand, but he holds it just out of your reach.

“give it!” you squeal as rafe laughs at your frustration, not fighting too hard before letting you see the screen, opened up to his photo album filled with pictures of you, candid shots, selfies you’ve sent him, and moments he’d captured of you without your knowledge.

“oh my god, you piece of shit!” you join in on rafes laughter, falling into his lap.

you reach your hand up and playfully hit rafes cheek. “i hate you.” you say, though the affection in your voice betrays your words.

“no you don't.” rafe counters, pressing his lips against yours. “you love me.”

“yeah.” you admit, kissing him back. “i love you.”

sfw tags: @winterrrnight @bejeweledreverie @ladyinbl00d @ethanthequeefqueen @drewsephrry @wearemadeofstardust0

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honeybeedewdrops · 2 months ago

Text

"Just Friends..." | L.Norris

Summary: You and Lando have told everyone you are just friends. Until you let it slip you have made out with him a couple of times, as just friends of course.

______________________________________________________________

You and Lando have been best friends for... well since forever. As one of Lando's best friends you of course get to pick and choose what races you want to go to. Luck was just on your side and you were able to get next week off for Miami.

You: Hey Lan do you by chance have any spare tickets for Miami I would love to come.

Lando: I in fact do

You: Great I would love to come out I got that weekend off

Lando: I'll have McLaren send one right over

You smiled happy to be able to support him.

People would always tease you and Lando about dating it started with your parents and both of you would just laugh it off. Then your friends started teasing you too. Some days it just got so annoying until one drunk night when you and Lando had a moment. You started to develop feelings for him after that night but you always pushed them away afraid of rejection and ruining such a great friendship.

You finally made it to Miami and walked into the paddock ready to take on the world. You walked down the paddock towards the McLaren Garage when two hands wrap around your waist and spin you around. "ahhh Lan put me down" You squeal, he sets you down and you turn around hugging him. "It's so good to see you" "you too Y/n" you smile at him one last time before spotting Ria and Aarava a short way behind him. "Ria, Aarava hey I haven't seen you guys in such a long time" you say pulling both into a hug.

"hey I got media but i'll see you guys later" Lando said giving you a side hug and leaving. "I'm also going to go i'm going to scout our our place Ria" Aarav said leaving just the two girls "and then there was just us" You say. You and Ria chat about work and how living in Ibiza was for her and making your way to the hospitality. " Now tell me girl what is going on with you and Lando" "Nothing i've said this thousands of times we are just friends" Ria shook her head "oh come. He spun you around like some romantic comedy. Not to mention you were the only one he hugged when he left" you rolled your eyes. "Your being dramatic" "Y/n it's right in front of your eyes" "what is?" "Girl Lando is in love with you and has been for quite some time now" "What no he hasn't" Ria sighed. "You are very smart Y/n but so dumb when it comes to Lando he looks at you the same way you look at him" "and how is that" "your in love" "pffff... no i'm not" you denied "You are such a bad liar" Ria said. "I am not" "ok fine but I know there is definitely something going on between you too"

When Lando won you had tears streaming down your face. All his hard work, all of McLaren's hard work he had done it he had finally done he won his first race ever. After he celebrated with his team he made his way to you bringing you into a hug. "I did it" He says making you cry harder "You did" he pulls away "don't cry" He says bring his had up to your cheek to wipe the tears away. You pulled him in for another hug before pushing him to go do media.

To Celebrate Lando's first win you all went out and hit the clubs. You were a few drinks in before going to sit on the couch where you saw Oscar and his girlfriend sitting on the couch. "Hey Oscar good job today" Oscar smiled "Thank you Y/n this is my girlfriend Lily" You smiled "Nice to meet you" "yeah you too I love your dress by the way" Lily compliments. "Thank you I love your outfit too" you say taking a sip of your drink. It was silent for a bit before Lily spoke up. "So are you and Lando dating" "No we're just friends" Oscar makes a face "what was that face for Osc" "Nothing" he says "Oscar seriously what" "I just don't believe you when you say your just friends" "we are gosh no one believes us" "I mean come on there's just no way" "We are just friends even if we did make out a few times" Oscar chokes on his drink "what was that" He asks "we are just friends?" "No after that" Oscar says "what did I say after that?" Oscar rolled his eyes knowing your playing with him "You and Lando have made out" "oh yeah that only like once or twice actually no it was three times" "friends don't just randomly make out" Oscar says "what you don't kiss the homies' you joke. Oscar spoke once again but you drowned him out after seeing Lando dancing. As if he felt eyes in him he looked around and found your eyes making you suck in a break. He really did have this post race glow. Fuck it you thought and stood up handing someone your drink before walking over to him.

You tapped him, he turned and you pulled him in for a kiss. Sparks were practically flying you were on top of the world. You pulled away for air and putting your head against his. "Woah" Lando said making you chuckle. "I like you Lando, a lot and I have for a while" He smile got wider "I like you too Y/n" he then pulled you in for another kiss making everyone around you cheer finally you two confessed.

#lando norris imagine #lando norris #lando norris x reader #lando norris x you #lando norris fanfic #lando x reader #formula one x y/n #formula one x reader #formula one #formula 1 #ln4 x reader #ln4 imagine #mclaren #formula one x you

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nerdy-novelist017 · 4 months ago

Text

Apologies (Benny Cross x Shy!Reader pt 6)

Ahhh don't come at me for the lack of updates lately! 😅 I've been so distracted with watching the Olympics and my job. I'm not meant to work a ful-time job, your honor. I just wanna write silly fanfics all day and read all night pls and thanks ! Anyway, enjoy! 🩷

Benny x Bunny Masterlist

Word Count- 3.4k+

Summary- The last person you expect to be there to dry your tears is that stubbornly persistent biker of yours.

******

Pete never showed up to your fundraiser. You had waited the whole afternoon in the hopes that you’d see him, but he wasn’t there for your event. He wasn’t there for the bake sale, or the picnic. He didn’t even show up for the auction which you were sure he’d be interested in that since one of the items to be sold was an expensive golf club set. He must have had other plans, you tried to tell yourself. He must have been too busy.

You hadn’t seen Benny after that either, but you tried to find that as more of a relief than disappointment, after all, he was the reason you and Pete had a bit of a disagreement anyway. Part of you wondered if he only showed up for your tent since you hadn’t seen him anywhere else at the charity afterwards. Regardless, the hours passed at the picnic and you eventually helped everyone pack up before you left too, riding home on your bicycle. You tried to call Pete when you made it home, but his mother answered and told you he wasn’t home. You asked her to have him call you when he could. You ate dinner with your family and tried to not look too hopeful every time the phone rang because it was never Pete calling you back. You expected to go to bed with a sense of dejection, but instead you were surprised to feel something closer to . . . relief.

So the next two days went by quickly. You were too busy with work and household chores to notice that Pete hadn’t called you back. It was only when you had gotten up early to start on breakfast on the third day that he finally did ring you.

“I’m sorry I haven’t seen you much,” he told you over the phone. “I miss you.”

“It’s okay, I’m sure you were busy,” you mumbled as you stirred the pancake batter, phone receiver balancing precariously between your cheek and shoulder.

“I want to see you this weekend. I can pick you up around noon on Saturday if you’re free.”

You agreed a bit reluctantly, but he didn’t seem to catch it.

******

“Oh, are you going to teach me to golf?” you asked excitedly as Pete pulled into the country club parking lot. He’d been quiet to tell you where it was that he was taking you today, but you wanted to trust the spontaneity of the moment so you let him drive you to the mystery location. Out of all the places he could have surprised you with, this certainly wasn’t what you were expecting. Part of you was confused because you hadn’t expressed a particular fondness for the sport, but another part of you felt warmth that he wanted to share his hobby with you.

“Yeah, I thought you’d like to join me and the boys today.” He smiled at you as you both exited the car. “Sit in the cart and look pretty while you cheer us on.”

Oh. So he wasn’t even teaching you his hobby. You wanted to say something back, to tell him that you were willing to learn if he taught you, but his friends came over then, interrupting your chance to speak. Pete introduced you to them, five in total and you struggled to remember their names. But it didn’t matter much since all chances of you speaking were thrown out the window when they bear hugged each other, and turned to go out onto the field. You followed behind, quietly trying to find a place in their obviously-tight friend group. And that’s how you spent the next three hours: awkwardly existing in their world, sitting on the cart and watching them play. You were the only girl, and it was clear that they didn’t know how to involve you much in their conversations. And when you were able to pull Pete to the side for a moment, you asked if he could let you take a swing once, just to try it out. He nodded but said, “Well, maybe in the next game, this one I’ve got a bet on and every shot counts.” You didn’t ask again.

Even though you were still technically spending time with him, this didn’t feel in any way fun or exciting. You tried not to, but your mind drifted to your night spent at the bar with Benny and how fun that was, despite it being a bar full of bikers – a scenario you would have never thought you’d be in, let alone enjoy. As you sat in the golf cart, having nothing better to do than to watch Pete with his friends, you wondered if this was all he wanted you for. Were you really just a doll to him? A trophy? You didn’t get to play?

After the next game ended, you asked Pete if he could take you somewhere for lunch and he seemed almost reluctant to leave his friends. But in the end, he did agree, and you said goodbye to the band of golfers. You walked back to the parking lot together and when you spotted his car in the distance, you figured this was your chance to actually talk with him, not just listen to him speak.

“What do you want out of life, Pete?” you asked quietly as you slowed to a stop on the sidewalk.

“What?” He paused a few paces ahead of you, glancing back. “What kind of question is that?”

“I mean,” you struggled to gather your jumbled thoughts. “What kind of life do you want?”

His brows pinched together in confusion. “Well, I’m going to school for engineering so I’m going to do that.”

You waited for him to continue, but he just shrugged and motioned for the car. “You coming?”

Not seeing the conversation over quite yet, your feet remained firmly planted in your spot. “But what do you want out of life? What do you want for me in your life?”

“Geez, (Y/N),” he laughed humorlessly. “Where is this coming from?” His expression darkened suddenly. “Is this because of that dirty biker?”

It was your turn to look confused as you opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off. “Have you seen him again, hmm?”

“I . . . he was at the fundraiser–”

“What did I tell you?” He asked rhetorically as he closed the distance between you. “I don’t want you around that deadbeat again.”

“It wasn’t like I sought him out,” you defended, trying to ignore the rush of agitation at his choice of description. “I had no clue he would be there. I thought you were going to be there.”

“Well, I couldn’t be. You can’t just expect me to drop everything for you at such a late notice.”

“What was more important that you needed to be at?” You frowned.

He rolled his eyes, turning back to the car. “I have my own life.”

That’s when you realized that he was so . . . disconnected, uninterested. He may have wanted you but not in the way of getting to know you. His want was selfish, only born out of lust. He didn’t care about your hobbies or interests. You weren’t even listened to when you spoke to him. The realization was painfully obvious and you felt like a fool, like he had played you. And maybe he wasn’t even aware of it himself, but you could see it now: he didn’t care for you, not in the way you longed for.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, shaking your head as you watched him approach the driver’s side door. “I know that, but . . . I was just hoping to spend time with you.”

He turned back and threw his arms out dramatically. “I’m spending time with you now, aren't I? Will you just get in the car?”

You took a deep breath, looking down at your shoes. “I think I’m gonna walk home.”

“Are you serious?” His voice grew colder as he yanked open his door. “Because I didn’t go to your bake sale?”

You shook your head. “No, I like walkin’ and I just want some time to think–”

“You’re going off to find that biker, aren’t you?”

“What?” Your gaze shot back up to his. “No, I–”

“I knew this would happen.” He shook his head, an unamused smile flashing on his face. “He’s filling your head with all these dangerous ideas. He’s poisoning you against me. Me.”

“I’m not–”

“Get in the car.” You didn’t realize that it wasn’t a request anymore.

“Pete, I just don’t–”

“Get in the fucking car, (Y/N)!” He shouted, slamming his hand on the roof, and you jumped at the sound.

You stared at him, wide-eyed like a deer in headlights. You’d never seen any man act like this, especially not Pete. Panic turned the blood in your veins to ice and you were suddenly painfully aware of just how fast your heart was beating in your chest. Seconds ticked by, and he finally reacted to your speechlessness by rubbing a hand over his face, sighing loudly.

“Look, just get in the car,” he tried again, his voice barely controlled. “We came here together and I don’t want people to talk about how I’m leaving without you, okay?”

No, it wasn’t okay, you wanted to say, but your throat was suddenly too tight to speak. All you could do was stare at this man who you thought you had a pretty good understanding of, who you never thought would raise his voice at you, who would never command you to do something you very obviously denied. You shook your head, hand holding over your chest in an attempt to even out your heart rate.

He called your name, but you turned and forced your legs to walk, to move away from him. You just wanted to get home to the safety of your bedroom. Behind you, you could hear his car door slam shut and the engine whine as it fired up. He drove over to you, nearly hitting the curb as he weaved.

“Fine, walk home then!” he yelled and revved the engine, tires peeling out on the blacktop as he zoomed away.

That’s when the tears started falling. You sucked in a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding and a sob choked into it. The sidewalk blurred from the stream of tears but you trudged on, wanting nothing more than to escape the prying eyes of the neighborhood. The action of Pete slamming his hand against the metal proof of his car replayed in your mind and something unpleasant gripped your heart at the realization that what you saw was his reaction to not getting what he wanted the first time. This was supposed to be the exciting moments of you relationship, the time when you were still discovering who each other were. If he could be so easily angered by you now, what would 5 years of marriage look like? What would 10?

And as you approached the intersection, a thought came to you and you felt sick at the possibility that maybe this is what your mother felt before she married your father. And your grandmother before she married your grandmother. Like a chain, these women with hearts and ambitions and dreams all just got married and became something their husbands wanted, lived a dream their husbands had. And maybe that was their dream, but what if it wasn’t yours?

The revving of an engine broke you free from your all-consuming thoughts and fresh fear spiked through you. Was it Pete coming back? But no, you realized. The engine was coming from the gas station you were passing on the corner, and it wasn’t a car, but a motorcycle. The rider pulled up to one of the free parking spots, cutting the engine and kicking out the kickstand. His back was turned to you, but you knew who it was already by the messy blonde hair and signature blue jacket lettered “Vandals” across the shoulder blades. You groaned because he was the last person you wanted to see right now but you needed to walk right by him to continue on your way home. And as ridiculous as it was, you wanted to cry harder at the thought of him seeing you crying.

When he dismounted, you quickened your pace, putting your head down in the hopes that he wouldn’t notice you. But of course, you heard him call out, “Hey, Little Bunny.”

You sniffed hard, quickly swiping your fingers across your cheeks as you heard him approach. Even though you didn’t slow your pace, he caught up to you quickly.

“You walkin’ home again?” His voice was light, teasing but you didn’t dare to look up at him. “You must really like–”

But he must have seen your tear-soaked face because he stopped, his hand gently grasping your upper arm. “What’s wrong?”

You bit your lip, and against your better judgment, you glanced up at him. That was all it took before his shoulders visibly stiffened, and his jaw locked tightly. “Who did this?”

“Nobody,” you muttered softly, voice cracking. “I’m fine.”

“Was it Pete?” his grip remained firm on your arm.

“Please, just leave it alone, Benny,” you whispered desperately, and his eyes softened as he released you. A painfully long beat played out between you as you watched him decide if he wanted to press you further for details. But to your surprise, he dropped it, instead, reaching out, his calloused thumb brushing away a solitary tear from the apple of your cheek. You flinched at the contact, not expecting him to touch you so intimately. As quick as he was to make contact, so was he able to let his hand fall back to his side, leaving you wide-eyed at the act.

“Let me give you a ride home, please,” he asked, his voice so quiet, so compassionate that you were honestly dumbfounded that this was a biker in a notoriously revered club standing before you. “I don’t want you to have to walk back when you’re upset like this.”

You glanced down the sidewalk, knowing you still had a few miles to go before you’d see your house in the distance. You sniffed again, “You won’t try to propose to me again, will you?”

“No strings attached, I promise,” he replied quietly.

You relented, nodding slightly, and you didn’t protest when he slid his hand into yours, lacing your fingers together and gently tugged you back to his bike.

******

Benny drove slowly back to your house, and you just buried your face against his jacket the entire ride, focusing on the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat. It gave you time to settle your breathing, to dry your tears, and when he finally did pull up to your house, a disappointed wave surfaced over you. He put both feet down to balance you both, but he didn’t cut the engine, and you didn’t release your arms from around his torso.

“Can we . . . keep going?” you asked hesitantly, unsure of just how patient he was willing to be with you.

“You wanna keep going?” he questioned over his shoulder, and you responded with a brief nod. “Where?”

“Anywhere, just not here.”

He pushed off the ground, revving the engine slightly and the bike picked up speed as you left your neighborhood. You tightened your grip as he drove you out of the city, down the long country roads, past barns and farms, out by the lake and through the winding back roads which cut the woods. He drove until the sun began to make its descent over the far wheat fields, the last warmth of those golden rays catching the two of you like a spotlight, like you were the only two people on stage. And you realized that’s what riding with Benny felt like: solidarity together. You’ve felt a strange sense of loneliness most of your life, even when you were surrounded by others who loved you, but with Benny . . . it was like you were finally being seen. No, not just seen, it was like you were finally being heard.

But reality came back too quickly when Benny pulled up to a stop light, hand moving to brush across yours as he asked, “You ready to go back now or d’you wanna keep going?”

Keep going, your heart wanted to shout, keep going and let’s drive until we hit the sandy beaches of California. But your head always won the battle in the end, and you only nodded mutely.

When Benny pulled up in front of your house again, he cut the engine, but remained seated. He held his hand out for you as you dismounted, and he wanted to say something – anything– to make sure that you were okay, to help you. But Benny’s not known for his good communication skills so he clenched his jaw tightly, frustration building in his chest. You needed him, you needed to be consoled, and he was so pathetic that he wasn’t even sure how.

Sure, he knew how to have someone’s back, especially in a fight. He knew how to throw punches and get back to his feet after getting knocked down. He could do that all day. But you staring at him with your Bambi eyes and heartbroken expression, he couldn’t take it. He just wanted to pull your tiny frame to him and kiss away the tears, to tell you that everything would be okay because he’s got your back. Then a horrible thought clouded his mind because what if he was the reason you were crying? A bitter taste filled his mouth at the possibility. And my god, how stupid could he be because of course he had to dig himself deeper into that hole when he had told you that he wouldn’t apologize for his conversation with your date. At the time he said it, he had no guilt or shame for his actions because he saw nothing wrong with it. He wanted you more than Pete did, he was sure of that. But now as he glanced at your sweet face, he realized that his actions could have hurt you. And all for what – his pride? That seemed so insignificant now.

“Thank you for the ride,” you said ever-so-politely.

Before you could turn to walk to your front porch, Benny’s hand reached out to lightly touch your own, and he blurted out, “I’m sorry. I’m sorry for what I did to Pete. That was wrong, and I see that now. I’m sorry if what I did has hurt you in any way, that was never my intention.”

Your frown deepened, and Benny’s heart sank. But then you said, “I’m not upset with you, Benny, but thank you. That . . . that means a lot to me.”

He was at a loss for words, struck by your angelic voice and unwavering benevolence. He could only watch as you slipped from his grasp and turned away. You were walking away from him, but Benny couldn’t help but feel it meant something more than just putting physical distance between you. His mind raced with thoughts, trying to find something he could say to get you to stop, to be able to see your face again.

However, it seemed that fate had other plans because you halted in your tracks, hesitating a moment before spinning back around and approaching him again. He opened his mouth to ask if you were okay, but you cut him off as you leaned up and planted a quick kiss to his cheek. His heart skipped a beat at the gentle touch of your soft lips, and he widened his eyes as you pulled back, a shy smile on your face. He grinned because every time he thought he had you figured out, you continued to pull stunts on him. You were the most entertaining thing he knew.

You took a few steps backwards, but maintained his eye contact as you spoke, “Maybe . . . next time we could go a little faster?”

He knew you were referring to the bike, but God help him because heat burned in his lower belly, and he wanted to pick you up over his shoulder and carry you into your house where he’d show you just what speed he was capable of. He wasn’t sure you even knew what effect your words had on him, or if you even knew the sexual implications, but he felt himself losing a battle of will. “You want there to be a next time?”

You nodded and that adorable rosy color tinted your cheeks. “Yeah, if-if you do.”

He shook his head in disbelief that you were finally giving him a chance. Though looking at your sweet smile now, he didn’t seem to mind the extra effort he had to put in. “You wanna go fast? Look who’s the trouble now.”

You fought to control your smile. “Goodnight, Benny.”

“Night,” he replied as he watched you walk back up the steps to your house, his fingers ghosting over the spot on his cheek that you kissed, wondering if apologies were really that easy.

-Tag List-

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#i'm not super happy with this but yolo #i need to stop being a perfectionist #austin butler #benny cross #benny x bunny #the bikeriders #benny cross x reader #austin butler x reader #benny x reader #imagine #austin butler fandom

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